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Felix does an interest check in the groupchat for a movie night at Jeongin and Chan’s dorm. Jeongin heavily protests this for all of five minutes until Seungmin video calls him just to point his camera at Felix’s pouting boba-eyed face, and then Jeongin folds like origami because he always does. Bastard hyungs.
He was going to let it happen either way.
“Innie,” Chan whines groggily the morning of. He’s rubbing his puffy eyes with the too-long sleeves of his shirt and his shorts ride up his thighs as he rests his elbows on the countertop, which creates an image so lethal Jeongin’s brain goes offline for a few moments. “Our home is a mess.”
Jeongin takes a second to come back online and then looks around their dorm. “Hyung. Everything is spotless?”
“It’s horrible. Your shoes are everywhere.”
Jeongin has exactly two pairs of shoes in view of them both. “They’re all in my room, hyung.”
“This house is a disaster and I’m obligated to clean it all up before our members get here,” Chan intones. He blinks sleepily up at him. Expectant. Doe-eyed.
Jeongin wants to kiss him as much as he wants to drag a hand over his face and sigh. “Okay, hyung. You just cleaned yesterday. But be my guest.”
Chan’s answering smile is so adorable he has to look away.
Jeongin has found that he kind of likes hosting, though that might just be because Chan obsessively organizes everything for him. He seems to take a strange kind of pride in tidying up and providing for them, which he supposes shouldn’t actually be all that surprising; it’s really just a continuation of Chan’s normal behavior. Maybe it just took him a while to get used to because they’ve never really lived together until now.
He's seemed lighter these days, anyhow. Occasionally Jeongin finds it a little difficult to get a read on him but recently Chan has seemed like an open book. An open invitation.
He eyes Chan from where he's sweeping the floors with his headphones on, humming to himself. He pauses, lifting his shirt up and flashing his stomach as he adjusts his shorts. He's all smooth, milky skin, something for the taking.
Open invitation might be an understatement.
Jeongin waits until Chan's finished his tasks before he gets up and stretches. Chan's eyes absentmindedly shift towards him as he puts some of his cleaning supplies away. Standing by the table they eat on, he stays still and fiddles through his phone as Jeongin slinks towards him.
“Hyung, are you done cleaning?” Jeongin asks.
Chan slides his headphones down around his neck. “This area, for the most part,” he says. “Gotta clean my room too, and then I should go grocery shopping so I can make a few things before the guys get here.” There's a pause as he blinks at Jeongin. And then: “Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jeongin smiles. “Like what?”
Chan's lips twitch before he wipes the near-smile off his face. He gives an exasperated, still-sleepy sigh. “Innie. I'm busy.”
Jeongin slides a little closer to him, close enough that he can see some of the sparse freckles dusted across Chan's cheeks. “You're being a little presumptuous, hyung.”
Chan pouts. “No I'm not. I just know you.”
Jeongin kind of likes how those words make him feel. A little warm and fuzzy inside, to be known. “I'll be quick,” he promises.
Chan's ears are already a bright red. “I can't—baby, I'm not—”
“That's okay,” Jeongin reassures.
He leans in, presses a chaste kiss to Chan's mouth, one so short and fleeting it must feel like torture for someone who likes kissing as much as Chan does. Then he palms over his hips, turns him so that he's properly leaning against the table.
Chan's eyes are wide as he slides to his knees. “Oh, fuck,” he chokes out.
“There are a lot of ways for me to get what I want that don't involve you getting fucked, hyung,” Jeongin points out.
Chan squeaks, probably at the casual vulgarity of his words. “I mean, you're right, I just assumed…”
Valid assumption. All they've been doing these days is exactly that. “I want you in my mouth,” Jeongin says. “And then you can go back to cleaning. I'll cook with you too if you want.”
Chan shakes his head and blushes harder when Jeongin's hands come up to the hem of his shorts. “No, no, you don't have to do that…”
“We'll get done quicker that way,” Jeongin says as he slides his shorts down. He doesn't comment on the fact that Chan isn't wearing any underwear; he thinks he'd be more surprised if that weren't the case at this point. So unintentionally easily accessible, his hyung. Or maybe it's on purpose. The thought makes his dick twitch in his own shorts, where he plans to keep it neglected.
“Weren't you going to go to vocal practice with Seungmin today?” Chan points out. His voice is a little shaky. “I can cook on my own, baby, it's fine. I'm not going to make much.”
Jeongin rolls his eyes. “I'm gonna skip practice today and go tomorrow, I already told our instructor.”
That earns him a strange look. “Since when do you cancel things?”
Jeongin takes his cock into his hand, impatient. Chan's inhale hisses through his teeth. “Hyung, I wanna cook with you,” he says, an embarrassing whine in his voice that he tries not to pay attention to. “And I want you to cum down my throat before you go back to your homemaking duties. Please.”
Chan's dick twitches, already hardening a little in Jeongin's hold, and he laughs nervously, covering his face with a hand until he catches Jeongin's glare and drops it, gripping the table behind him with both of his hands instead. “Okay,” he says, his expression immediately softening when Jeongin smiles up at him. “My baby gets whatever he wants.”
Satisfaction and arousal slip down his spine and pool in his gut together. “You're catching on, hyung.”
Jeongin wishes he could remember their movie night, but Hyunjin brought cases of beer that they ran through faster than they should've, and also right before the first of them showed up Chan pressed Jeongin into their couch and licked into his mouth with a hand down his shorts, stealing his air and jerking him off with such precision Jeongin is pretty sure he nearly passed out. Felix smirked and Seungmin gave them both baleful looks of loathing when they walked in just a few minutes later, because between Chan's pleased kitten smile and Jeongin's… well. His nothing. He was offline again. His brain was just empty. It was obvious.
What he does remember is this: he'd volunteered to sit on the ground so his hyungs could take the couch but Hyunjin and Felix insisted they wanted to spread their blankets out and cuddle, so Jeongin sat on one end with Jisung on the floor between his legs. Minho was sprawled over Changbin's lap on the other end of the couch, his feet resting over Seungmin's thighs.
Next to him was Chan. In fact, everything was Chan. Everything was Jeongin, sitting stock-still, and Chan, whose head was resting on his shoulder. Chan's even breaths, so slow Jeongin might've thought he was sleeping. The warmth of where they were pressed up against each other. Chan and Jeongin and Jeongin and Chan.
Jakarta is their last concert stop for a month and one of their last stops for a while. The morning of their rehearsal, Changbin invites Jeongin to breakfast alongside Felix and Chan. Changbin and Jeongin work out together first. It's uncharacteristically early in the morning for him, but he figures he won't really get a chance to later.
Felix is already sprawled out across Changbin's bed and scrolling through his phone when they step inside his room. Changbin snorts at the sight, shaking his head as he slips his shoes off. “Don't tell me Hyunjin gave you the extra keycard.”
“He's off eating breakfast with Seungminnie, it's safer with me,” he says dismissively. Jeongin doesn't get to prod at why Hyunjin has free access to Changbin's room because Felix then catches sight of Jeongin and beams, leaping up to his feet and practically bounding over to him in record speed. Jeongin laughs at the bright smile on his face before Felix hugs him. “Innie! Hiii, baby.”
“Lix hyung,” Jeongin greets fondly. “Don't act like we weren't just sitting next to each other on the flight yesterday.”
“It's been so long,” Felix moans over-exaggeratedly. Jeongin snorts.
“I haven't seen you since last night either, Yongbok, give me the same attention,” Changbin whines. Felix immediately turns to him and starts patting his head and cooing. God, they're so ridiculous.
He makes his way over to the edge of the bed and sits, stretching. Changbin immediately disengages from Felix to peek over his shoulder and yell, “Hey! You haven't washed up yet!”
Jeongin shrugs. “You're the one who didn't want me to be late, even though Chan hyung isn't back yet.”
“Plus, we know you like his sweat, hyung,” Felix teases. Jeongin makes a disgusted noise as Changbin goes bright red and yells.
Chan is out getting breakfast for them. He'd gone with Minho and Jisung, actually, but those two were forever never to be found on their dates and planned to separate with Chan as soon as they picked their food up together. Jeongin had felt the magnetic tug that told him to go follow Chan around, but then Changbin had asked if he wanted to hit the gym with him and the irrational voice in his head told him he was being overbearing anyway.
The latter part of his reasoning lasted for all of twenty minutes, until he was taking a break in the middle of his routine and turned his phone on to a text from Chan. It was a picture of Minho crouched next to a black cat, Jisung poking his head into the frame to flash a peace sign at the camera. Cute, Jeongin texted back, and reveled in the euphoria of being cared for enough to get random pictures in the middle of the morning.
Their hotel rooms are giant; there's a circular table with a few chairs, and Changbin drags one from the desk next to his bed over so it makes four. As Jeongin gets settled into one of them Felix sits next to him. “By the way,” he says.
Jeongin nods. “Hm?”
Felix leans in to kiss his nose, his hair tickling Jeongin’s cheeks. When he leans back he gives Jeongin a disarming smile and then casually says, “Your sex therapy’s kind of worked on Channie hyung, hasn’t it?”
Jeongin sputters as Changbin looks between them with one of his embarrassed, confused half-smiles. “Hyung, what the fuck?”
“Seungmin filled me in,” Felix says with a wink. “And I’m just saying, I’m seeing results!”
“I totally picked up on it too,” Changbin says. Alright. He seems to have gotten over the shock so quickly it’s only adding onto Jeongin’s whiplash. “Hyung’s a melted pile of goo all the time. He wrote like seven songs in one go yesterday and then stared at the ceiling smiling while Hannie took a nap. Do you know how hard it is to collaborate in those conditions?”
Felix nods in understanding. “That’s like when Seungmin’s off terrorizing the enemy support while I try to hold our team together.”
Changbin stares at him. “Yeah. So, Lix, honey. I don’t really think that’s a good analogy. But I appreciate the empathy.”
“He ignores me in voice chat even when I yell at him from my room,” Felix emphasizes. “He muted me once! So then I threatened to break up with him.”
“Is this the ADHD convention or something?” Jeongin interjects. “Can we go back to the sex therapy part?”
Both Felix and Changbin laugh at that. “I mean, what else should I call it?” Felix points out. “Whatever you're doing is fixing him.”
“Hyung doesn't need to be fixed,” Jeongin says, feeling vaguely affronted at the notion.
“He was never broken,” Felix agrees gently. “But he was getting a little closer to that point every single day.”
“That's being dramatic,” Jeongin protests.
Changbin shakes his head. “It is and it isn't. Hyung knows how to take care of himself, he just doesn't do it outside of maintaining his immediate surroundings. He's burnt out almost all of the time. He's grown a lot but he still views himself with the same self-deprecation he always has. There are parts of him moving forward, and parts of him that continue to be stuck in the past. Does that make sense?”
Jeongin stares at him. Felix says, “Woah, that's so deep.”
Changbin blushes and looks down at his phone. “Oh, shut up.”
“Hyung,” Felix says gravely, but when Jeongin looks at him he's smiling. “I think you love that guy.”
“Shut up, Yongbok.”
“I still think you guys are underestimating him,” Jeongin says. When they both look at him he blushes. “I mean. I'm not saying either of you… don't understand him, or anything. But living with hyung now I feel like… as long as he has his own space he's okay. Or at least. He's been doing better.”
“I definitely agree he's doing better,” Felix says. “But I think it's partly because of you too, Innie! Don't sell yourself short.” Another wink. “That dick could factory reset any brain.”
Jeongin groans into his hands as Changbin and Felix cackle and high-five.
Deep down he thinks he understands what they both mean, and it's hard to stem the satisfaction it gives him to think about it. Because it's true—Chan seems a little happier, plays around more, sticks around the dorm more over the past few months than he probably has his entire lifespan as an idol. There's a mini studio in their dorm now, so Chan can work a little from home. They talk more. Chan initiates more with Jeongin, too, which is greatly pleasing.
He loves it. He hasn't really even been with any of the other guys the past few weeks, too drunk off of Chan's constant attention.
When Chan arrives he's smiling and rosy-cheeked and makes an over-exaggerated noise of pain that definitely doesn't do anything for Jeongin when Felix slams into him for a hug before immediately proceeding to grope up his arms. “I've been carrying so much Lix, my arms hurt,” he whines, but it's futile, and they kiss by the door before Felix relieves some of what he's carrying. Jeongin takes in the sight of Felix's small hands on Chan's bare biceps in his sleeveless shirt and tries not to feel something about it.
Felix was sitting in the chair next to Jeongin, but now that Chan is here he seems to have decided to sit next to Changbin instead. Jeongin gives him a look and Felix's answering smirk makes him roll his eyes. And then Chan comes over to him and kisses the top of his head before doing the same for Changbin, and he melts.
They talk about the upcoming concert as they eat, Changbin and Felix carrying the conversation. Jeongin would talk but their chairs are close enough together that their thighs are brushing against each other and it's a little hard to think when Chan opens his legs enough to let himself rest against Jeongin. They're both wearing shorts. The heat of his skin on his is almost searing against him.
“Innie seems a little distracted,” Felix says, tearing him out of his own head.
Jeongin takes another bite-sip of his soup and glares at him until he sees Chan looking at him. “Just tired after my workout,” he says.
“Really?” Felix's smile is so Cheshire-like that Jeongin is simultaeneously endeared and annoyed. Mostly endeared. He sighs internally. “You had so much energy when you came in!”
“That's not even true,” he protests. Changbin laughs behind his cup. That bastard.
Chan leans in and bumps their shoulders together, shaking his head as he says, “Innie must be sick of me. He's always like this when I'm around.”
That's because I'm constantly thinking about fucking you, Jeongin wishes he could say. Felix grins like he could hear every word of that. “He must always be lost in thought about something,” Felix says.
“Iyen-ie doesn't think,” Chan says matter-of-factly, except he's smiling that cute, teasing smile of his that makes Jeongin positively disintegrate.
“Oh my God, that's true. I forgot.”
“Iyen-ie's sooo cute and empty-headed,” Chan continues, reaching out to pinch Jeongin's cheek. Jeongin rolls his eyes and lets him do it.
“So fucking adorable,” Felix agrees.
“Guys,” Changbin laughs. “Before he kills us. Please.”
He takes it back immediately. “This is why you're my favorite hyung,” Jeongin says.
Felix and Chan immediately begin whining. Jeongin hides his own smile in his soup.
They clean up after breakfast together, and Changbin disappears to the bathroom to wash up. Felix and Jeongin have leftovers but Changbin and Chan have positively demolished their boxes of food. “You ate well, hyung,” he murmurs when he thinks Felix isn't paying attention, too busy tapping away on his phone.
Chan smiles a little bashfully. “Maybe I ate too much. Indonesian food is so heavy, I feel like a ton of bricks.”
“You should eat well while we're overseas,” Jeongin reminds him.
Chan nods. Jeongin is standing so he can stretch and Chan is still sitting, so he has to look up at him, which at this point is a sight programmed into Jeongin to make him feel crazy. “But I'm eating well these days anyway, right?”
Jeongin resists the urge to coo, to lean over and brush their noses together, maybe drag Chan off back to his room to rail him into the mattress. Chan wouldn't like that anyway, he hasn't showered yet. Ugh. “Yes you are,” he says, unmistakably fond. Chan looks back down at the table with a pleased hum. Without thinking, Jeongin reaches out to nudge a finger under his chin, tipping his face back up towards him. Chan gives him a wide-eyed stare and a nervous little laugh, the tips of his ears already bright red.
Jeongin gently scratches his fingers into the hair right behind Chan's ear like he would to a puppy and then leans in to press their mouths together. It's a brief kiss that seems to bowl Chan over entirely, and when he straightens back up the expression on his face is shocked and dazed in equal measure. He doesn't miss the way Chan had tipped his head a little into the hand in his hair. Jeongin will have to remember that.
He makes the mistake of sliding his gaze over to Felix, who has his jaw dropped halfway to the ground, a little red-faced and wide-eyed and clearly holding back laughter. Or tears, maybe. When he makes eye contact with Jeongin he mouths, holy shit.
Jeongin smiles at him. Felix blushes harder and looks away.
They leave after that. Changbin's already getting ready for rehearsal, pulling a shirt on by the time Jeongin's toeing his shoes on. Felix is back to being sprawled out across Changbin's bed, having gotten ready before he showed up, and he's smiling up at Changbin in that way that tells Jeongin he should probably give them some alone time.
Chan shuffles out after him. Their rooms are in opposite directions and Jeongin expects them to disperse, but Chan just stands there and gives him an uncertain look. When Jeongin raises an eyebrow, Chan looks off somewhere behind him and then says, “Ah. Can we…? Go to my room?”
Jeongin has to fight off a smug smile. “Hyung, don't we have to be at the stadium in an hour and a half?”
“It's fifteen minutes from here.” Chan fidgets with the hem of his shirt, eyes skittering around like he isn't sure where to look. “We can be quick.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Chan's nod is somehow simultaneously hesitant and eager.
Jeongin tilts his head to the side. “I haven't washed up yet.”
“That's okay,” Chan says. There's that pained expression on his face again. The one that says, why are you making me work?
It feels a little scandalous to be having this conversation out here even though the hallway is completely empty. So Jeongin gives him a smile and says, “Okay. Let's go to your room.”
Chan smiles, blushing, and takes his hand.
There's something special about being inside Chan's hotel room, he thinks. None of them get the experience very often; if they're hanging out in pairs or in groups they're always in other rooms. Usually Jeongin himself appreciates his alone time and personal space unless Seungmin wants to watch something.
But now that he's seeing it, he has to give it to him. “You really organize everything,” he says, marveling at how neat Chan's room is. “Mine looks terrible in comparison.”
“It's just out of habit,” Chan laughs. He takes his shoes off and proceeds to spend about ten seconds placing them in a specific area. Jeongin takes his shoes off and leaves them by the door, a little unsure of what he should be doing with them, but Chan doesn't even spare him a glance as he steps further inside the room.
“You're always so neat and organized, hyung,” Jeongin muses. He sits on the edge of Chan's bed and says, “Doesn't this bother you? It bothered Changbin hyung.”
Chan laughs again, shaking his head. “I was telling myself you were going to come here as soon as I woke up, so no.” Then he seems to take in the gravity of what he's just said. “Ahen. I mean.”
Jeongin giggles, leaning back against his forearms, crossing his ankles. Chan appears to further malfunction at this. His curtains are open behind Jeongin and he can feel the heat of the morning sun against his hair. Chan stands in front of him like he's waiting for permission to take what he wants, taking in the sight of Jeongin leaned back for him, shorts riding up his thighs.
“Channie,” he says sweetly. “Come here.”
Despite the obvious eagerness thrumming just underneath his skin, Chan is tentative as he steps forward, crawling into Jeongin's lap. Like this the angle is a little off but Chan still does his best to lean down to kiss him, resting an arm by Jeongin's head.
His mouth is heaven against his. All plush and soft, sweet from the grapes he'd been snacking on before the end of breakfast. Jeongin lets him lead, feeling a little foggy from endorphins and good food and the comfortable weight of a beautiful man in his lap, sun-warmed and pliant. Chan is quick to nip at his bottom lip and Jeongin gives him easy access, making a noise he can't swallow down when Chan licks into him.
Chan cups his face gently with his free hand, then presses their hips together. Jeongin moans into his mouth when he realizes Chan is already on the way to getting hard.
Chan pulls away to kiss his nose. Jeongin squirms a little, strangely shy. “You're so cute,” Chan says with a wry smile.
“No I'm not,” Jeongin says on autopilot, and then, before Chan can retort—“Never mind that. What do you wanna do? We don't have a lot of time.”
Chan's immediately nervous again. “… Ah. Whatever you want, baby.”
He resists the urge to roll his eyes at that. “Well, I can't fuck you as much as I'm sure you want it. Right? Can't use your throat either, hyung, you need that pretty voice to work.”
Chan immediately covers his face, a high-pitched laugh spilling out of him. “Innie, you can't just… you can't just talk like that. But I was thinking… maybe. Um.”
He falls silent. Jeongin runs a soothing hand over his hip and tries to hide the fact that he's a little impatient. “Yes?”
“Maybe you could use my thighs,” Chan mumbles, so quiet he almost doesn't hear.
The words, combined with the gentle pressure of his hips against his own, makes Jeongin gasp a little, a hitched breath he can't stifle. “You pulled me to your room so I could use you?” He asks, half-teasing and half genuinely shocked. “You won't even get anything out of it.”
Chan leans in so he can bury his face in Jeongin's neck and hide. “Stop,” he groans. “I just… I just want you to feel good before we go.”
He palms at Chan's waist, getting hard so fast it's making him a little dizzy. “Can you get the lube for me?” Chan hums his assent, a little mhm as he nuzzles into Jeongin's throat before shifting off of him. Once he brings it back Jeongin says, “Take your shorts off, hyung, come into bed.”
Chan obeys, looking a little embarrassed as he climbs into bed to rest his head on the pillows because Jeongin is shameless about the way he looks at him.
He's only done this once before. It was with Felix, who teased him the entire time for needing it so bad right before a flight. In an airport bathroom where anyone could've walked in, quick and dirty with Felix's shorts pulled down, and a little pathetic. Now the dynamic is different and Chan is the one asking for it. He can't help the little bit of a power trip it gives him.
Jeongin settles between his thighs once he has his own clothes off. Chan's cock is resting against his stomach, already half-hard. Jeongin trails a careful finger up the underside, smiles when it twiches. He pushes Chan's shirt up so he can press a gentle hand to his stomach. He doesn't miss the way Chan subtly arches into the touch.
“Hold your shirt up for me,” Jeongin says, and then, as Chan is immediately moving to obey, “so I can see your pretty tits.”
Chan flushes and groans, slapping a hand over his face. “You're such a freak.”
“You asked me to fuck your thighs less than an hour before we have to be at a venue where we're going to perform in front of tens of thousands of people,” Jeongin says, laughing. “I'd call that freaky.”
Chan mumbles something under his breath but Jeongin pays it no mind, instead choosing to smooth his hands down his waist, over his hips, up those strong, beautiful thighs of his. Chan pulls his shirt up to his throat, his entire body on display for him.
He takes his time even though he really shouldn't. Circles his hands around Chan's ankles, which aren't dainty but certainly look that way in Jeongin's hands. Slides his thumbs over the soles of Chan's feet just to watch the way Chan flinches and makes a strange, cut-off noise, arching just slightly into and away from the touch at the same time. “You're so ticklish,” Jeongin says with a smile.
“Don't play with my feet,” Chan complains.
Jeongin has to hold back a laugh. “Hyung's gonna do whatever he wants to you, Channie.”
That shuts him up.
Unfortunately he doesn't think he has nearly enough time to explore any of this. Instead he spreads Chan's legs a little bit, then pushes them back, a little meanly, to imitate what Chan might look like getting fucked right now. It exposes his hole, and as soon as Chan catches him looking he's trying to squirm away to no avail—or, really, trying but not trying to get away at the same time. That whole posturing thing he always does, when he's deeply into something and feels obligated not to express it. A game in its own right. It makes Jeongin laugh as his dick hardens against his thigh.
“You're teasing me,” Chan mutters.
“Sorry,” Jeongin says, aware he doesn't sound very sorry at all.
He's kind and lets the lube warm up where he's drizzled them over his fingers before he gently spreads it over Chan's inner thighs. Everything about him is pink-red right now; pink cheeks, red ears, the sweet blush rushing down his throat and covering his chest, the soles of his feet and his kneecaps and where Jeongin presses his fingers into his inner thighs and smears the lube in. When he lubes up his own cock it's with a groan that he has to swallow down, resisting the urge to simply fist over his cock at the sight of Chan waiting to be used.
He presses Chan's legs together, scoots in closer so that he can press the tip of his cock to the minimal space afforded between his thighs. Chan's eyes are half-lidded as he waits, fingers twisting into the sheets.
When Jeongin presses in he can't hold back the weak, nearly whimpery noise that tumbles out of his mouth. The truth is he hasn't actually done anything the past few days with how busy they've been, so he feels… keyed-up. Sensitive. Chan is hot all over and especially so where his thighs squeeze around his cock, and he watches as Chan's toes curl at the sensation, mouth dropping open.
“Hyung,” Jeongin barely manages to grit out. He can't keep up the act at this point. “Oh, fuck.”
“Feels good, Innie?” Chan asks, a little eager, a little smug again. “You already look so blissed-out, baby. Come on,” he says, breathless, and then he squeezes the muscles of his thighs and Jeongin feels it, suffocating in the best way. Not as good as being inside of him yet somewhat hotter for the depravity of it all. “We don't have a lot of time. Use me to get off.”
Maybe it's Jeongin's turn to be flustered now. “You can't talk like that,” he groans, but obeys anyway. As he drags his cock back out, he turns his face into Chan's ankle and mutters, “Y'sound like such a slut.”
Chan makes a weak noise in response to that. “Y-yeah. Maybe. I don't think you have a problem with it.”
Nudging back in nearly has black spots dancing in his vision. “Mm. I don't.”
They're nonverbal after that.
Jeongin manages to find an rhythm that drives him insane. Keeping Chan's legs upright and closed works okay but the angle is a little off and where he's smeared the lube is where his hips want to rock downward instinctually, so he solves the issue by pushing Chan's legs down just enough where he can do just that. Chan helps, his hands flying up to hold the backs of his thighs while Jeongin braces his hands on his hips. The new angle is heavenly and their cocks bump against each other nearly every time Jeongin thrusts in. The stimulation makes Chan's eyelids flutter, his mouth dropping open a little to whimper when they slide against each other just right.
Like this, their positions could almost look like Jeongin is fucking into the tight heat of Chan's hole instead. There's a distinctly open yearning on Chan's face like he's thinking about it too, and it makes Jeongin smile even as he groans, pleasure cresting within him at the way Chan seems so content to deny himself even if it results in his own torment.
Jeongin wants to talk—say something about how he's fucking Chan's thighs raw, how anyone will be able to tell if he wears shorts that ride up enough today—but his tongue feels heavy in his mouth. There's something about having access to Chan so easily like this that he can't take for granted, and in the otherwise quiet of their hotel room, interrupted only by the bed creaking and the slick sounds of Jeongin using him, something feels… strangely tender. Intimate.
A memory Jeongin wants to keep locked up forever, the sight of Chan and his big, useless dick leaking and practically bouncing against his own stomach with each thrust. Chan and his pretty blush, Chan and his beautiful eyes, those pouty, slightly swollen lips, the curls he's been growing out.
It's like in this moment, nothing exists except for them.
He can't even manage to give a warning before he cums. He'd thought, briefly, about making it so that he could cum over his thighs, but his orgasm hits him so hard and so fast he can only groan as he presses in as far as he can, the swollen tip of his dick peeking out from between Chan's thighs to spill his cum against his stomach and his cock, hard and nearly completely untouched.
Chan makes a satisfied little noise like this is doing something for him personally, which Jeongin knows it is. He's the same way with Chan's orgasms. They're something to be felt together regardless of if the other person is getting off too.
“Hyung,” he sighs between shuddering breaths as he tries to compose himself. His fingers shake where he trails them up Chan's waist.
“That was good,” Chan murmurs. He drops his hands, covers Jeongin's with his own. Jeongin's heart tries to leap out of his mouth with how hard it starts pounding. He internally curses himself out. Relax. “Looked so beautiful, Innie. I love seeing you get lost in your own pleasure.”
Somehow Jeongin has the audacity to blush. “It… felt good.”
“I would hope so,” Chan says with a little laugh.
He doesn't want to lose the coccooning heat of Chan's thighs locked around his cock but he has to, groaning in discomfort when Chan spreads his legs for him. He looks down a little blankly at the mess he's created. Cum streaks across Chan's cock and dips into his belly button. Chan eyes it and makes a nervous little laugh. “Ahh, that's so embarrassing. I should go clean up, we don't have much time left.”
Jeongin gives him a long, slow blink. “I can clean you up, hyung.”
Chan gives him a wobbly smile. “Is this you trying to get in the shower with me? Because I would love to, really, but I don't think we have the time—” He's cut off by Jeongin silently leaning down to start licking his own cum off of Chan's stomach. Chan squeaks and says, “Baby, h-holy shit.”
Jeongin glances up at him as he works. Chan has propped himself onto his elbows to watch him with wide, crazed eyes, and it creases the lines of his abs which means Jeongin gets to dig his tongue into the little divots, a little dizzy with the rush of it all.
He licks up the cum on his cock last, making a pleased hum when Chan whimpers, his dick twitching up into the contact. Chan makes a sound, a little ah, ah, when Jeongin briefly sucks the tip into his mouth and sucks.
When Jeongin pulls away to sit up, Chan gives him a dazed, confused look. “We have to get ready,” Jeongin says gently.
Chan blinks, clearly trying to clear his head. It's so cute. “Oh… oh. Ah. You're right, baby.” A quick, dumbfounded glance down to his cock, lying heavy against his hip and shiny with his own pre-cum and Jeongin's spit. Jeongin doesn't miss it. When Chan looks back up at him, Jeongin smiles. “I'll go… shower.”
“Okay, hyung. You go do that,” Jeongin says.
There's a slowly rising sort of desperation in Chan's eyes that Jeongin finds delicious. He feels absurdly powerful right now in this game they're playing. “Should we. Maybe we should.”
“I should go shower in my room,” Jeongin says. Chan's face falls and he has to stifle a laugh. “Hyung, all my stuff's there. What am I gonna do, run down the hallway in a towel?”
“They buy out entire floors for us for a reason,” Chan says, but he's grumbling a little and it's obvious he finds it just as irrational as Jeongin does. Then he sighs in defeat, closing his eyes. “Okay, baby. I won't hold you up any longer.”
Jeongin pulls his clothes back on and Chan just watches him with still-hungry eyes, fully naked, looking so good Jeongin wants to walk back on everything he's just done and give it to him anyway.
But there's more fun in this. When Jeongin leans down to kiss him Chan goes still, lips parted for something more, but Jeongin makes it chaste and pulls away after just a few seconds. With their noses brushing against each other, he murmurs, “Don't get off without me, okay?”
A hitched breath, and then his exhale is a little ragged. “Baby,” Chan says, a little pleading, a little eager.
“It'll be worth it,” Jeongin says, also pleading, also eager. “You'll be so good. Right?”
“Yeah,” Chan says. He sounds fucked-out like he's had several orgasms already when he hasn't had even one. “Yeah.”
“Good,” Jeongin says, straightening with another smile. “See you down in the lobby, hyung.”
It takes him nearly a minute of silence, strangely bated breath. In the end he only manages to say it as he's toeing on his shoes. Chan still sits there at the edge of his bed, watching him. “Love you, hyung,” he says. He tries to make it sound teasing but it sounds almost exceedingly pathetic to his own ears.
Chan's entire being softens. “I love you too, baby.”
Jeongin's still blushing even as he steps into his shower.
After they get back, high off the adrenaline of another successful concert, fans screaming their names, doing everything they've dreamed of doing, Chan comes to his room, this time, and says, “Innie. I'll die if I have to live another second without you.”
Jeongin laughs, stepping aside to let Chan in. “Don't you think that's a bit overdramatic?”
“No,” Chan huffs.
Jeongin snorts. “Should we order dinner first, at least? Are you hungry?”
Chan gives him a look. “I'm starving. But I want you first.”
For a second Jeongin feels nearly pinned to his spot before he shakes himself out of it. He gives him a smile instead and says, “Okay, hyung. Since you've been so good.”
This time around Chan is so self-assured with his movements, so clearly worked-up, that Jeongin feels somewhat like he's just there to be used. The thought of it with Chan in mind, who has always been so yielding and malleable and willing to be pushed around, is a little pleasing to his hindbrain right now.
He wastes no time stripping Jeongin and getting him into bed. Jeongin glances towards the windows where his curtains aren't fully shut. He opens his mouth to speak, but Chan grips his jaw in a strong hand and turns his face back to him. “I'm gonna ride you,” he says.
Jeongin squeaks. “Okay, hyung.”
Chan makes a petulant, irritated noise. “Don't call me that.”
His ass is flush against Jeongin's hips. He's the one that got denied but Jeongin currently feels like he hasn't gotten off in weeks with how suddenly desperate he feels. “Okay.”
Being ridden into the mattress isn't necessarily an experience Jeongin is unfamiliar with. He likes being useful. Hyunjin will pin him down with a hand wrapped loosely around his throat, Felix will sit on his cock and make Jeongin do the work once he gets tired.
Chan is a different entity altogether. Jeongin vastly underestimated how good he would look, how incredible he would feel on top of him like this; he didn't realize just how pliant Chan has always been up until now. Jeongin almost feels like the control is being ripped away from him, which he'd be perfectly fine with. But there's still that vulnerability to Chan's eyes, and it's laced in the noises he makes, louder than usual as he chases his own pleasure. He lets Jeongin hold onto him and tightens up, hips stuttering, eyes rolling back when Jeongin remembers how to speak and starts to talk to him the way he likes. His cock, leaking and untouched and as useless as always, bounces against their stomachs as he moves. Chan is so out of it he doesn't seem to be paying it any mind.
It's hard to believe that just months prior to today Chan had never been fucked in his life. God. All those years of pent-up stress, assuming the role demanded of him. Taking care of him now, letting Chan get himself off after being so good and waiting for it, feels like a privilege.
Chan makes a sweet, whimpery noise and starts to slow down, looking down at him with hazy eyes. Jeongin runs soothing hands over his waist. “Getting tired, baby?”
“No, 'm fine,” he slurs out. “Close.”
“Cute,” Jeongin coos. And also, thank God. He was starting to lose it. “Are you gonna cum for me?”
Chan leans down to press a kiss to the corner of Jeongin's mouth before he slowly sits back up again. “Can I, hyung?” He asks.
Jeongin's grateful Chan isn't moving, because if he was he'd probably lose it right now. He feels himself throbbing inside of him, and Chan's answering clench around him doesn't help. He grits his teeth and tries to relax for a moment. “You're sweet for asking,” he says. And then, just to be horrible: “What if I said no?”
Chan gives him a look of betrayal. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, his hips rolling back and forth against him, before he says, “Then… then I won't cum.”
“Yeah?” Jeongin says, a little breathless. “You won't cum until hyung says you can? What if that ends up being days?”
“Hyung,” Chan moans. Jeongin digs his nails into his sides a little and Chan shudders. “Please, that's too long. Don't do that, please, wanna cum, you feel so good.”
Jeongin smiles. “Don't worry, baby, I'm not going to do that to you tonight. You can cum.” Although the idea of leaving Chan strung-out and denied is so appealing it's pushing him closer to the edge without Chan's assistance right now.
He has to stave off his orgasm when Chan starts moving again. He starts slow, but soon he's going faster than he was before he stopped, and Jeongin feels like his lungs are caving in a little bit as he feels every muscle in his body start to tighten.
When Chan cums, streaking across Jeongin's stomach and chest, it flings Jeongin straight over the edge, and he cums so hard he nearly forgets how to breathe. Chan curls down into him and presses his mouth into his jaw, panting hotly into his skin as he milks Jeongin's cock for every drop. “So good,” he whispers.
Jeongin takes a few regulatory breaths before he can speak. “I… thought I was going to pass out there, holy fuck.”
Chan laughs, which pulls an overstimulated hiss out of Jeongin. “Shouldn't I be the one saying that?”
“Maybe if you didn't ride like a professional. Was that your first time?”
Chan nuzzles into his neck. “Mm. Yeah. Hyunjinnie gave me tips.”
That… is an interesting mental image. “I'm surprised hyung didn't ask you to give him a proper demonstration.”
Chan laughs sleepily. “Oh, he did. But I wanted…” he trails off here, then clears his throat.
Jeongin feels his cheeks warm again. Jesus. Why does he always start blushing at the most inopportune moments? “You saved it for me?”
Chan curls further into him. “Maybe. Maybe not.”
It's Jeongin's turn to laugh, trying to nudge away the tendrils of arousal that lick through him at that because he truly doesn't think either of them have the energy for more at this point. “Oh my God. That's so cute. You did so good, baby.”
“Stop that,” Chan mutters, muffled into his skin. “'S embarrassing.”
I love you, Jeongin wants to respond, but for some reason the words are stuck in his throat again. Instead he says, “We should probably clean up, hyung. Shower and then order food?”
Chan props himself up a bit. The movement makes them both shift enough to wince. “We should order food now,” he says. “If I have to wait longer than ten minutes ato eat after getting out of the shower I'll lose my mind.”
Jeongin laughs. “Fair enough. I'm starving too.”
Chan kisses his nose and smiles. “Of course you are. You used up so much energy laying there and taking care of me, babe. You did good too.”
Jeongin is suddenly incapable of looking Chan in the eye. He squirms underneath him and his sweet smile for a second. “Uh. Thanks.”
Chan's shoulders shake with laughter. “Okay, okay. We should move before you get hard again.”
They end up inviting Minho and Jisung to eat with them, though they move to Chan's room for it. Privacy is a mere concept between them all at this point but Jeongin has his boundaries, and Chan doesn't seem to mind.
Minho and Chan eat at the table while Jeongin makes himself comfortable on the ground next to Jisung, who eats on his stomach like a freak and kicks his socked feet back and forth. Something about the image the four of them make feels a little symbolic.
Jisung says something Jeongin can only describe as deadly, though, and not until the end of their meal. Minho's sprawled out on the ground with them too with his eyes closed, and Chan is in the bathroom. They're all a little tipsy. Jisung's rubbing his fingers gently into Minho's calf. “Doesn't it feel nice to feel devoted to someone?” He asks.
Jeongin blinks at him. “Devoted?”
“You take good care of Channie hyung,” Jisung explains. “He doesn't even have to ask. Not that he would. It's like you just read his mind.”
Jeongin blushes. He isn't sure how to respond to that. As the silence is just beginning to grow awkward, Minho cracks an eye open and says, “Baby, don't think about it too hard.”
“Did I say something wrong?” Jisung asks, tilting his head to the side.
Minho's giving him a gentle, expectant look. Jeongin swallows and says, “You didn't, hyung. I just. This is what we all do for each other?”
“That's true,” Jisung agrees. “But it's a little different because you live with just hyung now. It's the same way that I take care of Minho hyung, the way Seungmo takes care of Lix. And whatever the hell Changbin hyung and Jinnie have going on.”
“They're just psychotic about each other,” Minho says dismissively.
“You would know. You are psychotic about every single one of us,” Jisung points out.
“Oh, little bug, of course. Without a doubt.”
Jeongin picks at his nails to give himself something to do as he thinks. “I guess you're right,” he mumbles.
“I'm kinda drunk so I might get emotional right now,” Jisung states seriously, “But you know I love you so much, Innie, right?” Jeongin is about to respond when he adds, “I'm so glad Channie hyung gets to experience the healing properties of your dick now.”
Jeongin covers his face with a hand, groaning as Minho starts laughing. Chan chooses that moment to step out of the bathroom, and he raises a quizzical eyebrow at the sight of the three of them. “What are you guys putting my Iyen-ie through?”
“Absolutely nothing,” Jisung says, right as Minho says, “So much.”
Chan giggles, looking at Jeongin for an answer, who sullenly shakes his head. “Can you kick them out, hyung?”
“Whatever the baby says goes,” Chan says. He walks over to them and squats so he can press a kiss to the top of Jisung's head, who nuzzles into him. “We should probably go to sleep, though.”
“Can I stay here?” Jisung asks with a hopeful look up at Chan.
“Do you want to?” Chan asks, giving Jisung a gentle smile.
“Yes please,” Jisung says. “My room is freezing and I can't get the thermostat to work.”
“You want to cuddle with hyung,” Minho corrects.
Jisung makes one of his classic finger guns at Minho. “That may or may not also a major motivator here.”
Chan coos at him, tips Jisung's chin up to press a little kiss to the tip of his nose. The sight floods Jeongin with warmth. “Okay, honey. You can stay with me tonight.” He gives Minho a teasing smile. “You want in on this too?”
Minho scoffs but he's smiling. “Absolutely not.”
“Are you sure?” Chan teases further, leaning over to start trying to tickling him. Minho shrieks and curls away, and Jisung locks his hands onto his ankles to hold him down.
Jeongin watches on, laughing. Seeing Chan in his element now, taking care of Jisung and reducing Minho to helpless giggles, almost makes Jeongin forget about the vulnerability he'd shown him just an hour or so ago.
It's almost hard to reconcile these two versions of Chan. Or, it'd be harder if they didn't all know him so well. They've all known about his thirst for affection, his soft, sweet, gentle side. They all try to take care of him in their own ways.
Devoted. Maybe Jeongin's found his own route. It's a nice thought.
In the end Minho adamantly resists spending the night, though he wiggles his eyebrows at Jeongin and asks if he can stay over with him, which Jeongin knows won't be happening because neither of them are really like that, but the teasing makes him roll his eyes and shove him away. Chan doesn't ask if Jeongin wants to stay the night, which is fine—they live together, they see each other all the time. Jisung gives both Minho and Jeongin a goodnight kiss before sprawling himself out over Chan's bed, a starfish on his stomach. Chan laughs and slaps his ass and tells him to “At least go get your toothbrush, honey.”
“Ughhhhh. 'M so tired,” is Jisung's responding groan. Minho offers to get it for him and he immediately perks up, nodding.
By the time Jeongin is ready for bed the exhaustion of the night starts to catch up with him and he curses himself a little for staying up so late. He knocks out as soon as his head hits the pillow.
The concept of love is a strange thing to digest as an idol. Jeongin's entire life was spent in the careful shelter his parents had built around him, to the point where even the slightest notion of stepping out of bounds was something deeply uncomfortable to him. Playing it safe was instinctual.
Becoming an idol obviously broke through that. Especially having befriended people like Jisung so early on, who had a crass mouth like it was a badge of honor to say something nasty every other sentence. Who laughed so hard and so inappropriately he'd whine about his stomach hurting for minutes afterwards, who treated Jeongin like he was something more than just a kid who hadn't grown into himself yet. Who gave Jeongin his first kiss.
Like parallel lines running alongside each other, it was simultaeneous: as a trainee-turned-idol, Jeongin had no time to learn how to grow up, and yet he had to do it anyway. Eventually his brain fell behind the growing pains of his body and he turned short-tempered with stress. Argued with Jisung constantly and once screamed at Seungmin over something trivial, an incident that left him so ashamed he couldn't look at him for a few days even as Seungmin gently forgave him through it. His patience wore thin every time Chan scolded him during recordings and practices.
But there was no room to simply fall out when their relationships called for it. In the cramped space of their dorm, alleviated only somewhat when they moved out into groups of four, it was either survive or fall apart. Love was somewhere in there, because it was the reason for it all.
Now love feels a little bit more like a choice. He'd felt it like an oppressive thing as they renewed their contracts, but this is different; he gets to choose what to do with it, how to express it, how to feel it.
So many words and all to say he might be head-over-heels for all of them in a new, distinct way he didn't think he was capable of. Head-over-heels for Chan in particular. When he quietly tells Hyunjin this, weeks later, now in Hong Kong, Hyunjin spends about five minutes doing his Hyunjin-typical cooing and teasing before he promptly bursts into tears.
Jeongin gives him an alarmed look when he hears sniffling and turns to see a few tears rolling down Hyunjin's cheeks, puffy from how hard he'd napped on the flight. “Hyung?”
“Sorry,” Hyunjin says, choked-up as he turns away. “Just give me a second.”
Jeongin gives him a second. He gives him several, actually. As much as Hyunjin likes to play clingy and overbearing, Jeongin knows he needs his time and space. By the time Hyunjin turns back to him his eyes are red and his head is tipped down, in a way that might have hidden his face with his hair if he hadn't shaved it all off.
“Are you okay, hyung?” Jeongin asks, a little awkwardly.
Hyunjin sniffs. “I'm fine. I just thought about a lot at once.” With the too-long sleeve of his sweater, he wipes at his eyes. He draws his knees up to his chest. “You've really had a hard time, haven't you?”
This truly is not the response Jeongin was expecting to confessing he might be in love with his bandmates. “Hyunjin hyung…”
Hyunjin presses his palms into his eyes. “Sorry. Fuck, sorry. I think I'm just sleep deprived. It's just that I don't… I… I don't know. I think the feelings we have for each other are more than romance, more than love itself, but it was so necessary to us sticking together through everything. Like, would we have cared for each other this much if we weren't idols? I think about it a lot.” He's tearing up again, Jeongin can tell. His voice is thickening with it. “But it doesn't matter. It's not worth thinking about because I'm here anyway. And I'm happy to be here, and to be loved by you, Innie.”
There's a lump suddenly forming in Jeongin's throat. He stares up at the ceiling, willing it away. “I'm happy too, hyung. Thank you for always loving and taking care of me.”
“Stop that,” Hyunjin says on a half sob, burying his face in his elbows.
It's then that Seungmin chooses to step out of the bathroom. Jeongin looks at him with watery eyes and watches as he processes the scene. “What the fuck is happening,” he says.
“Innie has a crush on Channie hyung,” Hyunjin says. His voice is muffled in his sweater. “And I love him so much.”
“I have a crush on all of you guys,” Jeongin informs them.
Seungmin nods. “Okay. That's awesome. For the record, I already knew that.”
“But he's figuring out for himself,” Hyunjin says. He lifts his head up and Jeongin nearly grimaces at the sight of his swollen, bloodshot eyes. “He's learning. Opening his heart up even more. My baby is growing up.”
“Your baby is a year younger than you,” Seungmin says dryly. He walks over to kiss the top of Hyunjin's head, then comes to Jeongin, crawling into bed to sit with his legs crossed next to where Jeongin is splayed out. They were going to sleep here together tonight; Hyunjin only showed up after Jeongin texted him asking if he was free to talk. It's strangely reminiscent of old times.
“Age doesn't matter,” Hyunjin argues.
Seungmin shrugs. “It’s true, I guess. He is growing up. We're all growing up, even though we're all in our mid-twenties. Kind of ridiculous. I fought with Felix the other day,” he says casually, “except it wasn't an argument because he calmed me down immediately and then told me I was just overstimulated and needed some space. I was like, is this guy a lover or my therapist?”
“Lix is so sweet.” Hyunjin sniffles. “Our sweet sunshine baby.”
“The kindest person we will ever know,” Seungmin agrees gravely.
“We don't deserve him,” Jeongin says. Hyunjin starts crying again. “Hyung!”
“Let him cry,” Seungmin soothes. “He has to do this once every few months or he'll explode. We know this.”
“I won't explode,” Hyunjin grumbles as he wipes his eyes with his sleeve again.
“Okay, Hyunjin,” Seungmin says with a smile. “You won't explode.”
“Shut up.”
“Okay, Hyunjin.”
Jeongin nudges Seungmin's knee with his foot. “You're being annoying, hyung.”
“I'm doing my job,” is Seungmin's response. Then he shifts so he can lay down next to Jeongin. He moves onto his side, rests his head right next to Jeongin's shoulder. “Hm. I guess I'll say something sappy. I'm proud of you.”
The lump reforms in his throat almost instantly. “Yeah?”
Seungmin hums. “You're doing well.”
Jeongin sits up and makes his way to the bathroom so neither of them have to see him cry. Seungmin's knowing smile follows him there the whole way.
Let's go on a trip this weekend guys, Hyunjin sends in the groupchat after not saying a word in it for several weeks, which is typical. Except this time it isn't just before they have to start prepping for a comeback—their fanmeeting is in two weeks and they're in the throes of practicing for it. Jeongin is with Chan at the gym when they get the message, and Jeongin watches the way his eyes tighten with obvious disapproval as he processes it.
He takes it upon himself. “I think it would be fun.”
Chan turns his disapproving gaze onto him. Jeongin is kind of into the familiar sight right now, but he tells himself it's just workout endorphins. “We have so much to get ready for, Innie. That won't work.”
“We'll still have a week and a few days by the time we get back,” Jeongin protests. He gives him his best doe eyes and watches as Chan's expression instantly starts to soften. “I want to go to the beach with hyungs.”
“We can wait until after,” Chan tries to say.
Jeongin shakes his head. “We need the break and you know it, hyung. After this it's fashion week, and then the tour again. This is the best time to go.”
Realistically he's sure they could probably find a weekend or two for this to work out, but Jeongin doesn't bring it up because he doesn't want to give Chan more ammo. Chan sighs, rubbing his temples before he puts his phone down and turns back to his weights. “I'll think about it.”
I'll think about it turns into a yes after Jeongin sucks him off in the shower when they get home.
“How did you convince him,” Hyunjin hisses as they check into the hotel their staff had begrudgingly allowed them to book after Hyunjin threatened to lock himself in his room. “I thought he was going to show up at our dorm just to kill me.”
From next to him, Changbin puffs his chest up and then says, “I would never let him do that to you, baby.”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “You'd throw me under the bus for forgiveness.”
“That isn't true!”
“I sucked his dick,” Jeongin informs him. Changbin gapes and Hyunjin nods sagely.
“Good work, comrade. Good work.”
Some of their staff had eagerly asked if they wanted to at least film so they could get content for future videos, but Hyunjin adamantly refused. Jeongin agreed; there was no point in taking time off to rest if they had to work through it. It also meant they would need a whole crew of staff to come with, which sounded unbearable and extremely unrealistic. Now they have just one manager with them, who's staying on a different floor because that's all that was available. It's a strangely busy vacation weekend for the end of January.
They share rooms to make it easier, their usual roommate arrangements. This means Jeongin gets to watch as Chan goes from capable, organized leader, putting the last pieces of their travel plans together, to tired and curled up in bed, any semblance of control completely dissipated into thin air.
Jeongin takes a moment to consider if he's evil for wanting him even now. Chan lays there with his eyes closed, an occasional yawn escaping even though it's only nine in the morning because of course he'd stayed up far too late the night prior. And then he decides—fuck it. They established their boundaries with each other a long time ago.
“Can I use your mouth?” He casually asks as he takes his sweater off.
Chan opens his eyes and gives him a long look. “It's embarrassing when you just say it like that.”
“Good,” Jeongin says. “Can I?”
Chan's eyelids flutter a little. He's silent for a second before he says, “Yes.”
It's a power move. That's really all it is. It drives home the point Jeongin wants to make: that Chan can lead as much as he wants, but at the end of the day he'll always give it up for him. Getting him on his knees in this hotel room that potentially shares a wall with strangers is risky and disgusting and an adrenaline rush that Jeongin normally wouldn't engage with if it weren't Chan he was doing this to.
Chan settles on his knees and gives him a gently expectant look as Jeongin stands in front of him. Jeongin makes a show of it at first, drops a hand to palm over himself and grip over the outline of his cock. Chan's gaze drops to the sight of it and his lips part, already looking a little cock-drunk, which is cute. He has the same thought every time they fuck: Chan is so fucking cute, all the time but especially like this.
“Do you want it?” He asks softly.
Chan gives him a defiant look, but it's weakened by the fact that he's on his knees. “I think I recall you asking for it.”
“And I think I recall you enjoying my dick shoved down your throat,” Jeongin fires back.
Chan glares at him, but he's blushing. “Shut up.”
Jeongin responds by tangling his fingers into Chan's hair and tugging his head back. He presses forwards so his bulge gets pressed up against his face, and that defiant look in Chan's eyes stays but he goes even hazier looking up at him. It's like he can see his brain emptying out in real time. “Don't be rude, Channie.”
By the time Jeongin gets his pants off Chan seems almost fully offline, any notion of protest completely gone. His dick is still mostly soft but he feeds it into the wet warmth of Chan's mouth anyway, fixated on the idea of getting hard inside him. Chan seems to like the idea too, if the way his eyes flutter shut is any indication. Always so ready to be good, to please Jeongin.
Jeongin hardens so fast it's a little embarrassing, but Chan clearly doesn't mind. He suckles on him, licks along the underside where he can reach until Jeongin is too big for him to do it without moving, and then he just mouths at him, a bit of drool already escaping the corner of his mouth.
Sometimes Jeongin likes to let Chan control the pace. He enjoys when he can sit back and spread his legs and watch Chan work hard to make him cum, using everything at his disposal to make him happy. But today he says, “Keep your hands to yourself,” and Chan listens.
He fucks his mouth leisurely until he can't take it anymore, the slick heat of Chan's mouth becoming unbearable. Then he starts pushing himself into his throat, smiling at the sounds he makes as his throat opens and closes around him. He wonders if anyone can hear them through these thin walls, which just makes his blood run hotter. Chan makes little choked-off, overwhelmed sounds as his throat is used, and Jeongin has to shush him, delighted at his messiness, the way drool drips down his chin.
When he cums, it's straight down Chan's throat, Chan's faced pressed right up against him. Chan's eyes are rolled back. Jeongin tries not to let his knees buckle.
“Did so good,” he breathes as he pulls out slowly. Chan coughs and more drool leaks out of his mouth, but Jeongin is delighted when he realizes he's swallowed everything. And then—
“I didn't get to taste it,” Chan says almost mournfully. He's clearly deep somewhere in his headspace.
The shock of arousal this sends through him is so powerful it almost hurts. That's so fucking nasty. “Yeah?” Jeongin breathes. “Was hyung too far down your throat, baby?”
Chan groans a little at that and nods. “Hyung's too big,” he says. “Should cum on my tongue next time.”
“I like being in your throat more, honey,” Jeongin coos, leaning down to press his mouth to the corner of Chan's, and then he pulls him up so he can sit on the edge of his bed. Chan goes willingly, pliant like a doll, like he almost always is. His knees are red where he kneeled on hardwood floor. Jeongin rubs his thumb into a kneecap soothingly.
“I'll jerk you off,” he mumbles. “I'll make it good for you.”
Jeongin is going to die. He isn't going to make it. “That's so cute. You wanna taste my cum that bad?”
“Yeah,” Chan says, simple and honest.
“We can do that another time,” Jeongin murmurs. “I'm going to reward you first.”
They don't have a lot of time; Hyunjin's already made reservations at a restaraunt for an hour from now. Jeongin would love to fuck him the way he deserves but they don't have the space for it right now, and Chan would probably get so loud it would turn the idea of a risk into a real threat.
Instead he presses him down into the sheets, makes Chan spit into his hand, still thick and viscous from having his mouth fucked, and then he shoves a hand down Chan's sweatpants to jerk him off. Chan's legs dangle off the bed and Jeongin is kneeling next to him and when Chan moans, Jeongin simply clamps a hand over his mouth, takes in the visual of it as he twists his wrists expertly so that Chan is fucking up into him and arching away at the same time. Hard and fast and overstimulating. Chan cums in minutes, a muffled, drawn-out groan leaking out between his fingers.
Jeongin kisses his cheek and then gingerly removes his hand from Chan's sweatpants. He doesn't hesitate to bring it to Chan's mouth. Chan doesn't hesitate to lick it up. See? This is why they're so compatible. This is why Jeongin is in love with him.
“I think I have a crush on you,” he blurts, and then freezes.
Chan blinks at him blearily. “Ah?”
Jeongin's an idiot. Chan was—Chan probably still is down somewhere in that foggy space he falls into. Jeongin isn't supposed to dump a bucket of ice water onto him by saying something stupid, he's supposed to be taking care of his hyung, drawing him slowly back into the real world. “Never mind,” he rushes to say. “I—don't worry about that.”
Chan doesn't say anything. Instead he curls into Jeongin, like he tends to do, and Jeongin busies himself with running his fingers through Chan's soft curls as he attempts to calm his pounding heart, but it's impossible. And realistically, it shouldn't be this high-stakes, but for Jeongin it just… is. For reasons he isn't sure he even fully understands.
Eventually Chan turns his face up to him. There's something unreadable in his expression. “Baby. Did you say you have a crush on me?”
Jeongin chokes. “No. Yes. Um. Maybe.” Chan raises an eyebrow and Jeongin gives in. “I… I did.”
Chan stares at him for a moment, and then he starts to laugh. It's that high-pitched giggle, and he hides it behind his hands, and Jeongin is stricken with humiliation for all of eight seconds before Chan says, “That's the cutest fucking thing you've ever said, Iyen-ie.”
Jeongin feels distinctly like his younger self, the version of him that was never taken seriously. “Hyung.”
“Sorry,” Chan says through more giggles, he peeks between his fingers to look up at him. “It's just that you came down my throat, like, five minutes ago. And also, I thought we already knew this about each other this whole time.”
It's Jeongin's turn to bury his face in his hands, which is kind of nasty considering one of those hands just had cum on it. Chan starts cooing and sits up to pull his arms back down. “Hyung, you're embarrassing me,” he mumbles.
“Aww,” Chan says. “My heart's gonna explode. Okay, sorry, sorry.” He tries to school his face into something more serious but Jeongin can see his amusement threatening to break through. “Alright. So. You have a crush on me.”
Jeongin pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yes.”
“Awesome,” Chan says simply. “I like you too, believe it or not.”
Jeongin peers at him from under his lashes. Chan beams at him. “I… okay? Um. That's good.”
“It is,” Chan agrees. Then he plants one of his hands on Jeongin's knee and Jeongin tries not to get hard. “Baby, what do you think we've all been doing this entire time? It's always been about how much we love each other.”
“I know,” Jeongin sighs. “Or I guess I didn't, that's the point.”
“Yeah?” Chan encourages.
He nods. “I just… really like you guys.” Saying it out loud in front of Chan is making him a little sick. “In different ways, for different reasons. And since we've been together so much recently I've thought about you a lot, hyung. I hope it never slows down.”
Chan's blushing, now, giving him a sweet, delighted smile. “Oh, Innie. You've matured so much.”
Jeongin curses the fact that he gets so awkward with these types of conversations. He musters up as much courage as he can to say, “Hyung, don't avoid me or try to put a wall between us, okay? I'm here for you.”
Chan seems like the stricken one now. He stares at him before he says, “Okay, honey. I'll always be close to you.”
Jeongin wants to take his face into his hands and kiss him but the moment is ruined by someone pounding on their door. They both flinch as Minho's voice filters through. “Guys, the reservation. Hyunjin's about to kill us all.”
“We'll be out!” Chan squeaks. He searches Jeongin's face. “Continue the conversation later?”
“Sure,” Jeongin replies, before they both leap off the bed to get ready.
They don't really continue the conversation, but Jeongin figures they don't have to. They go out to eat, and spend some time on the beach, though it's far too cold to do anything fun, but it's a beautiful day and the sun is out and Jisung insists on watching the sunset.
They take pictures of each other that they'll probably never post, and Changbin and Seungmin walk to the nearest convenience store to get snacks. They watch a movie in Minho and Jisung's room once the sun has disappeared and a true freeze settles in. Changbin falls asleep in Chan's arms and Jeongin is convinced Chan spends half the movie smiling fondly down at him.
Minho wakes Changbin up afterwards so they can all get drunk and play games together, and soon it's two in the morning and Felix is starting to fall asleep on Seungmin's shoulder, giggling at nothing in particular.
“I'm glad I made us a brunch reservation and not breakfast,” Hyunjin sighs. He's leaning back on his hands, head lolling off to the side as his eyelids droop.
“That was smart,” Minho says. “My smart baby.” Hyunjin wrinkles his nose and then smiles.
Chan himself is mostly-sober to Jeongin's halway-drunk, and they hold hands in the few steps it takes to get to their room, which is maybe a little risky but Jeongin can't find it in him to care and Chan can never find it in him to say no to Jeongin, they know this. Chan helps him get ready for bed and Jeongin finds himself climbing in next to him, which makes Chan raise an eyebrow and grin.
“Wanna cuddle, baby?” Jeongin nods wordlessly. Chan kisses both of his cheeks and then presses their mouths together so briefly Jeongin almost asks for more. “We can cuddle. Goodnight, Innie.”
Love you, Jeongin thinks he says, but sleep drags him under too quickly. All he can remember is the feeling of Chan's smile against his forehead, sunlight in the dark.