Chapter Text
Adam tapped his pointer finger against the table, a small pout showing on the LED mask covering his face. It had been an awful extermination—not that he would tell his girls that, they all believe they did a great job. That was how it should be, but Sera would be talking his ear off about the stats of the extermination falling below quota with how many of those bastards were filling Hell. Sinners were awful awful creatures, and arguably the worst thing that ever came from Adam himself. A cherub brought Adam a plate of ribs as he threw up a hand to motion to the small creature, the guard of the embassy that was there to make sure that demons wouldn’t pass through the portal that connected Heaven and Hell. They just needed to figure out the right words and they’d be in Heaven.
No creature in Hell deserved to be in Heaven. None. Especially that traitor that created the place, Lucifer. Speaking of Lucifer, where was the bastard? Adam’s restless tapping got faster before he heard a “Hello” from a distinctly not-Lucifer voice from Hell’s side of the embassy. Well, he couldn’t act surprised, Lucifer had been a coward for so long it wasn’t surprising that he hadn’t shown up himself, so he motioned for the cherub who turned on the lights for the Hell embassy, turning on Adam’s projection as Adam leaned back in his chair, taking a rib in his hand and gnawing on it with a smirk on his face.
“‘Sup.”
A squeak from the girl paired with a “holy shit” in response whilst taking a small tumble backwards. The girl was almost a mirror copy of Lucifer, blonde hair that was done up in a loose ponytail that tied it back near the bottom of her ton of hair, red and yellow eyes, creamy white skin with large doll-like blush spots on her cheeks, the main differences that would be able to be pointed out is the small puppy-dog-like nose and goat ears that flipped up and down in anxiety. Another thing that was different from Lucifer was the fact that she was fuckin hot. She had a nice rack, at least a C cup, a gentle curve between her waist and hips that was subtle but not unnoticeable. Her outfit clearly was not tailored to make her look as sexy as she could be, the red suit clearly too small for her to the point he could see the suspenders and gold shirt that was tucked into her pants that hovered just above the heeled boots she wore that were something Adam had thought phased out with the Victorian era ending.
The girl pushed herself up, dusting herself off and correcting her hair into the proper positioning by running her fingers through it before beginning to speak again. “Hi! I’m Charlie!” Charlie, yes. He knew that name. It was what the daughter of his ex-wife and the traitor started going by some time a while ago, Adam hadn’t really paid attention. It never connected to Adam that he might have to meet the girl after hearing Lucifer rant about how stupid his daughter could be. It had been seven years since their last meeting before Lucifer just sent the paperwork in to address the numbers of the extermination without a meeting. It was fine, Adam didn’t particularly miss it, but this was a meeting he had been hoping to rub in Lucifer’s face. “My dad asked me if I could meet you.”
“I know,” Adam said, leaning back, inspecting the rib in his hand before eating it by pushing it through his mask. (The simple answer was a spell was placed on his mask so he could and he preferred to eat without his mask on because the feeling of the mask buzzing to get the food through was quite lethargic, but the look that Charlie gave him when he ate it was totally worth it.)
“Well…” Another rib in, paired with a grimace from the princess as she tried to find the words to address Adam. Oh, oh this would be fun. “Nice to meet you!” Her voice was cheery, so unbelievably so. She had to be hiding something behind that unending smile.
“Tooootally,” Adam said, leaning on the palms of his hands towards Charlie, scanning her for any underlying movements that gave away she didn’t mean it. Well, she didn’t. No demon was particularly happy to meet the leader of the exorcist army. “Nice to meet you too!” Adam reached out his hand to let Charlie grab it, her face lighting up as she tried, but her hand phased through it causing her to stumble rewarding her with a hearty laugh from Adam. “Oh! Oh my gosh! Lute! Lute, did you see that?”
Adam turned to an exorcist in the corner, her hands folded behind her back and back straight. Lute’s LED mask had one eye with a circle that had an ex almost scribbled through it and a mouth that looked sewn shut. Her uniform was in the grayscale—nothing much to look at but was meant to mimic the imps in Hell. It created a divide between imps and sinners, and that was exactly what Heaven had wanted. Imps were bred to be fighters. Sinners and imps would be a dangerous team.
Lute nodded. “Good one, sir.”
Adam let out another laugh, leaning back in his chair again. “Good shit.”
Charlie looked absolutely bamboozled, her brow furrowing. She pushed against the table as if to make sure that was solid before looking back at Adam. “So—you’re not here?”
“No, no, sweet cheeks. You expect me to go down there? ” A laugh. “No, I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. But! It’s such a bummer, man! Everything down there is just so— eugh —ya get me? Ew.” The exorcist’s leader let out a chuckle.
“Well, either way, I’m glad you asked to meet with me. I have this—” Charlie began, getting cut off by Adam putting a finger to her lip, his visage slightly glitching as he did so. Charlie’s face contorted in a way that Adam had to hold back a laugh as she tried to figure out how Adam was able to interact with her physically.
“Did your traitor daddy not tell ya that I didn’t ask for you?” Adam asked, slowly removing his hand away from Charlie’s lips before continuing what he had to say. “Figures he wouldn’t tell you what this meeting was for, he probably wanted you to have a hard time.”
“I—uh—oh.” Charlie’s face dropped for a moment, utter despair before turning back into a smile again, placing her hands on the table and leaning towards Adam. “Well! Either way I’d be able to take this chance to talk to you about a project of mine!” Charlie reached into her coat jacket, Adam watching out of the corner of his eye Lute stiffening and putting her hand on the hilt of her sword just in case the demon princess was going to try something.
Adam pulled her hand out of her jacket, an eyebrow quirked. “Well tell me that at least ya got the paperwork I need to give my boss to say things got done in this meeting for the reason we’re here. I would prefer not to get an earful from her because you slacked off.”
“I was—I was supposed to bring paperwork? Of what kind? Can I have my pets bring them?” Charlie asked, her arm sitting limply in Adam’s hand, not making any attempt at pulling away.
“Figures.” Adam laughed, dropping Charlie’s wrist. “Your daddy didn’t tell you that this meeting is to talk about the numbers of the extermination. To make sure both of us are playin’ by the rules.”
“Well! Good for both of us, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk about!”
“Both of us playing by the rules? ‘Cause, sugartits, if you’re tryna wiggle out of one of the rules I’m gonna have to stop you right there.”
“No no no—the extermination. I want to be able to put an end to it.”
Charlie gave Adam an expectant look, Adam staring back at her before breaking out in laughter after processing what she meant. “Oh! Oh good one! Fuckin—you think we can end the extermination?” Adam ran his hand down the surface of his mask and rubbed the edges of the eyes on his mask as if clearing it of tears. “You’re a fuckin idiot, ya know. We ain’t gonna just— hah —end the extermination because some bimbo bitch says we should.”
“Wait—what? Why not? I’m sure we can find a more— humane way of handling Hell’s overpopulation. And! And and and! I have the perfect thing to do just that!” Charlie said, fishing into her blazer yet again. Adam took a deep breath in. She was so utterly persistent. Alright, he’ll take the bait, but he would not be letting her win this. He wouldn’t lose to the demon daughter of his worst enemy.
“Okay, pitch it to me, babes,” Adam said, getting a soda from the cherub popping it open with a large fizz. “I am going to tell ya this, I’m not gonna tell ya anything but it’s not going to work.”
Charlie held the papers in her hands, beaming at Adam making the first man grimace slightly. How could she look so genuinely happy? What kind of acting classes did the traitor and his ex-wife put her in to make her such a good liar? The Father and Mother of Lies wouldn’t be able to raise someone who would be able to tell the truth. Right? No one in Hell could be this happy.
“Sooooo, my project that I keep getting interrupted every time I’ve told you about it is a hotel! A hotel to redeem sinners!” Charlie flipped through the papers, some falling out of her hands making her scramble to grab them as they flew in a circle to the floor.
“Doin great, babes,” Adam said with a chuckle, sipping on his drink. Charlie rolled her eyes and let out a small “har har” before standing up again.
She spun the papers towards Adam to show some kindergarten level crayon drawings of a hotel with drawings of sinners near the entrance and a rainbow above the hotel. Adam had to do everything in his power not to rip it out of her hand while laughing at it. This was such a funny bit, but he had to let her get to the punch line. “It’s called the Hazbin Hotel. Don’t let the name fool you, all the sinners in the hotel have made great strides forwards and are becoming much better people but if I can get Heaven’s backing I can figure out what makes a soul ready to cross over to Heaven and then once we have proof—”
“Woah woah woah. Stop right there, princess. You want Heaven to back something that you came up with that has no proof of whether it’d work or not? Don’t you think that’s well…” Adam looked up at the ceiling while pushing himself further into his seat. “...stupid? I mean, don’t get me wrong, whatever floats your boat! But if you’re going to try to get the Almighty on your side, shouldn’t you like, I dunno, get some hard and solid proof?”
Charlie took a deep breath, small horns poking out of the top of her head, closing her eyes and then picking herself back up, horns shrinking down again. “Look, doesn’t the Almighty already know everything? Shouldn’t we just ask Him if it’s possible? Would that be evidence enough?”
“Well, yeah. Obviously. He knows everything. But he hasn’t been around or his mouthpieces for over a thousand years. So, I don’t think there’s any luck for you, babe,” Adam said, rocking the tab on the soda can back and forth to hear the clinking noise that came from it and to break it off of the bottle.
“Well surely you have access to Him! You’re the leader of Heaven’s army!” Charlie said, hands balling into fists as she took a stance that made her almost excited at the idea of who Adam was. …it was weird.
“Oh, no. I don’t. Never have. You’d think he’d give direct access to the first man, the man he created, the first dick—”
“Wait. Slow down. You’re Adam? …oh my Grandfather that explains so much.” Charlie looked like she had an out-of-this world epiphany as she said the sentence out loud, before getting a mischievous smile. “Alright, Adam—”
“Call me the dick master,” Adam said, throwing up the rocker hand.
“...Adam, now that I know who you are, let me try a different approach.”
Adam let out a yawn, giving Charlie an unimpressed look, before looking at the clock. He’d been here for a half an hour. Not too long, considering his and Lucifer’s meetings would be hours on end of trying to bore each other. He could humor Charlie and not get in trouble for it… and it would keep him from Sera for longer. “Alright, what’s your different approach?”
“Redemption should be something you want.”
“And why’s that?”
“They areeee your children.”
A beat.
Lights started flickering, Adam slowly rising from his chair and the exorcist in the corner almost looked panicked but stood her ground. Charlie’s eyes went wide as she watched Adam get to his full height, her face going from having a gentle red undertone to her white face to a pale blue. She took a step back, obviously noticing she had made a mistake.
Adam grabbed Charlie’s wrist, pulling her roughly close to him, the glow of his mask entrancing. “They are not my children,” he growled out, the tone taking Charlie aback and almost making her lose the footing she had holding her up against Adam’s grip. Charlie’s breathing got faster, trying to pull herself from Adam who in response held her arm tighter. His tone went from low and gravelly to a yell the moment he spoke again, his mask glitching out mid-sentence. “THeY wiLL nEvER—” A static buzz. “Be mY cHILdrEn Af TeR thEY endeD uP hErE!”
Charlie’s heart was racing, trying desperately to get out of Adam’s grip before he chucked her at the wall, knocking the air out of her and causing her to land on her knees and then to her hands. She let out a yelp, moving quickly to scramble away from Adam. Adam stalked towards her, mask still glitching and wings spread wide making him larger. Adam grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at him. “Never rrrr suGgest that—at they are in ANY— eeeee way connect—ected to me!”
Charlie nodded in tears. “Yeh—yes, sir.”
“Good. This—iss meeting is oh—over.” Adam straightened up and let the visage of him and Lute in the room disappear, leaving Charlie alone in her tears.
“Adam, sir—” Lute began, trying to get Adam to look at her, removing her helmet and putting it on her hip, her white hair falling down neatly. She was a pretty angel—but stood out if she were to be put next to any non-exorcist angel with her soft gray skin and black halo. She had the most brilliant golden eyes that matched the color of Adam’s eyes. A cruel way of the Seraphim reminding him that he was in charge of the fates of the exorcists.
“Not a word, lieutenant,” Adam growled, not looking at Lute as he took off the faceplate of the mask and tossed it in the trash can on his way out of the meeting room. His brown hair flopped out of the helmet’s front revealing his face—a face that was arguably very plain. The one thing that made him stand out was his gold eyes. “That bitch will think twice before connecting me to the monsters of Hell.”
Lute sighed as she rubbed her temples. “Sir, you did not inform the princess of the six months cut off.” Adam let out a huff, pulling off the rest of his helmet and opening a portal to the Chastity Ring, walking through it and into his office where he started digging through a drawer for a new faceplate for his mask. “Do we go back and inform her?”
“ No. Lute, cut that shit out. We’ll figure it out later. Schedule another for like a week. Lucifer better show up instead of his bimbo daughter,” Adam said. “Sera is going to want to talk to me and Uriel might join. I don’t feel like having my mask off for that so help me find a faceplate before I end up having Sera waltz in because the cherub asshole told her we left.”
Lute shook her head slightly while letting out a breath. “Yes, sir.” Lute moved to go to a drawer adjacent from Adam, shuffling through the items before finding a new faceplate, grabbing Adam’s helmet and attaching the faceplate and its cords to the mask. “...are you okay, sir?”
“Do I look okay?” Adam barked out, grabbing the helmet from Lute and placing it back on his head. There was a safety to his mask that most didn’t fully understand. A safety in hiding. A moment of silence passed before he spoke again. “Thanks, Lute. Please just—hold down the fort. This might take a while. Don’t count on me bein’ back for a couple of hours.”
“Don’t let Sera or Uriel get to you, sir. You know they won’t do anything against you. You’re their poster boy,” Lute said, wracking her brain to find something more comforting. But, there wasn’t. Sera and Uriel were both leagues above Adam in their standing and anything said went. It didn’t matter what she said, there was still the level of inferiority Adam had to them. There were only two ways Adam was ever treated: like a god from those who didn’t want to piss off the Seraphim Sisters or like a pawn in a large game of chess by the Seraphim Sisters. It was not something that would help Adam’s sense of self-worth, and Lute knew that it crumbled daily. He bolstered his bodily looks yet kept himself hidden. He said he never did anything wrong, yet, he was scared for his girls on the daily if he does.
“Yeah, whatever, Lute. Just make sure the girls are training. We’ll need to make up for the halved time they aren’t trained for the next extermination since we didn’t meet the quota. Just tell them that we’re doubling the amount of exterminations to give them more bloodshed or some shit like that,” Adam said, waving a hand as he opened another portal, this time to Humility. “I’ll meet ya later at the show.”
“Yes, sir,” Lute said with a small bow of her head, watching as the man and his golden wings disappeared through the portal and the portal fizzled out.
Adam trusted Lute—more than any other angel in Heaven. She was the only surviving angel from the first generation of the exorcists. The only one that didn’t die that first round of gradations. Uriel had been so furious at the turn out of the exorcists training, destroying all of the exorcists without a trace. Adam sighed, folding his wings closer to himself to blanket himself from the idea of what Uriel would do to his girls if they weren’t able to fix the fall short of this year’s Extermination.
After several turns in the building of the Seraph, he finally found Sera’s office. He knocked on the door with three raps before just pushing his way in. Sera was sitting at her desk, her wings folded neatly into her back, hiding them from sight. It wasn’t uncommon for angels to hide their wings in private, so what took Adam aback was that Sera wasn’t alone. Her wings flipped out as she stood up, Uriel standing next to her. Uriel was the Seraph of Balance… and the creator of his girls. She had light blue curly hair that was pulled back into a ponytail and mimicked the movements of holy fire. Her eyes were silver and skin an almost pure white with gray freckles scattered all over her face. Her dress was traditional Heavenly garbs… similar to what Adam wore himself.
“Adam. Did you bring the paperwork with you?” Sera asked, looking at Adam, her white irises almost piercing the air. She had dark gray skin with white freckles under her eyes and white hair that was curled to a level of perfection Adam didn't much care about. Her dress was simple and long with angelic symbols and her stature that far exceeded Adam's. The only feature Adam genuinely thought made up for her bitchy attitude was the large rack she had.
“No. The bitch that came to the meeting didn't bring the papers. I got Lute schedulin’ a new meeting,” Adam said flippantly, leaning against the door, looking at his fingers as if checking out his nails despite the fact he was wearing gloves. “I can get the papers to you both… next week. Right? Right. Okay, I'm going to leave now and I'll see you hot ladies later.”
“Adam, stop there, please.” Sera held up her hand, Adam grimacing slightly. Yeah, he wouldn't get out of this one. He should have figured that, but he found no harm in trying to walk out on the higher angels. “Are you saying Lucifer sent someone in his spot again? Without the proper paperwork?”
“Yeah, I am. I think I said that clear enough. I mean, I can't believe you're still calling the bitch by his name. He's a traitor and you and Uri over there were the ones who cast him down to his proper place in Hell.” Adam used his head to motion to Uriel without breaking eye contact with Sera.
“He is still a man,” Sera said with a soft shake of her head. “A rose by any other name is still a rose, is it not?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. I'm not in the mood for your metaphors and shit like that. I need to get to training my girls so we can go back to Hell in June and—”
“You're cutting the Extermination dates down by six months? Does this mean you are doing a biannual schedule?” Uriel asked, finally speaking up, tilting her head slightly and moving towards Adam, scanning him up and down.
“Yes, Uri. Listen, you put me in charge of the Extermination and exorcists and so I'm making choices—”
“Choices that are beyond the power we have given you, Adam. You are to discuss choices like this with Sera and I before making the choices. We may have raised you to the power level of an archangel, but if necessary we will take that away and place Abel in your place as the leader of the exorcist army,” Uriel said, shaking her head and walking towards Sera's desk and shuffling through the papers.
“Hold on—say that again? Abel? My son? The kid who doesn't like the look of a sword let alone the idea of leading an army? You're sayin—Oh my gosh that's almost laughable,” Adam said as he face-palmed, giving Uriel a small glare. “Aren't you supposed to know what's best for Heaven 'n shit?”
“Adam, you're stepping out of line. Back down,” Sera said, placing her hands on her desk and giving Adam a stare that told him everything. But he wouldn't back down that easily.
“No. No. You put Abel in my place and that kid's dead. The only reason we haven't had more exorcists killed during the Exterminations is ‘cause the sinners down there are too scared to try the angelic weapons that are left down there. Abel would get hurt. He's too much of an idiot to—”
“ Enough , Adam. Your concerns are heard. Though, I would suggest you remember your place. You are at your level of power on a contingency, do not step out of line,” Uriel demanded, spreading her wings as a sign to Adam. He was close to plummeting. “What are the numbers of the Extermination this year?”
“Below quota, I know that. That's why I'm—”
“Below quota? Adam, are you not training these exorcists to work at the speed they are supposed to?”
Adam clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms. “It's not my fault the fuckers on Earth are all getting progressively worse! Hell is doubling in sinners almost monthly! It doesn't help that you halved my girls last year. We still have several exorcists who are training and not ready for the field! And we still killed more of those demon fuckers than we did last year! What do you want me to do? Be perfect?”
Sera looked at Adam, pity in her eyes. “Adam, stand down. You will train your girls and go to the meeting with Lucifer next week. We expect the quota to be met in June if not exceeded. No decision will be made on the behalf of Heaven by you.”
Adam folded his arms to his chest, looking away from Sera. “Yeah, fine. Whatever. I don't care. Can I go now?”
“You may.”
“One more thing, Adam.” Uriel crossed the room and grabbed Adam by the chin with her thumb and pointer finger, making him look up at her. “Never ever talk back to either of us like that again if you desire to keep your halo.”
Adam let silence fill the air, not making a movement before breaking and pulling himself out of her grasp. “Yes, ma'am.”
Charlie was shaking like a chihuahua when she opened the door to the hotel, eyes puffy and hair a mess. She was greeted with a hug from her best friend, Vaggie who immediately held her back to look at her. Vaggie was a moth demon—the only part of her that necessarily showed that she was a moth, being the shape of her hair that had a constant shape of a month's wings. Her hair was in a ponytail the majority of the time, held up by a bow that curled into an antenna-like shape. She had soft gray skin and large pink eyes. Well, eye. Vaggie had lost her eye fighting off an exorcist in an attempt for her life to be spared and lost her eye in the process. Charlie had found her cowering behind a dumpster in an alley.
“Oh my God, hun! Why do you look like you've been crying?” Vaggie asked, wiping Charlie's cheek of tears that still speckled her cheeks. Before Charlie could answer, Vaggie took Charlie's hand and pulled her towards the living room. “We made something that will cheer you up!” Charlie couldn't even protest that she just wanted a few moments alone so she could put herself together before seeing all the tenants of the hotel because Vaggie was so quick to sit Charlie on the couch and turn on the TV.
When the TV turned on, Vaggie was seen, in a get-up that was 1920s-esc, which meant… Charlie looked towards Alastor. Alastor was staring forward, almost not paying attention to anything. He had red and black hair with deer ears and skin that was a brownish-gray. He wore an outfit of the 1920s that was popular to show black men gaining a separation from white men. (Charlie had done several studies on human habits, and that was interesting to her.) He must have had a hand in making the commercial and Charlie felt her heart swell. She knew how much Alastor hated the TV and preferred radio, and as he was the “Radio Demon,” she fully understood where his preference stemmed from. Vaggie's voice was heard on the TV, making Charlie turn her head and ripping her out of her thoughts.
TV Vaggie didn't even finish her sentence before the sound of circus music came from Charlie's phone signaling that Lucifer was calling her. Charlie looked at her phone and then the TV. “Sorry, guys, I have to take this. It's my dad and that's kind of important. I'm sure we'll have sinners flooding the hotel as soon as the commercial is finished. I'll pay for it to air again, I promise I'll watch it!”
Charlie exited the room, Vaggie giving her a sad look as she left, Charlie picking up her phone.
“Heyyyyy, Dad.”
“Charlieeee! …Could you do me another favor?” Lucifer’s voice rang through the phone for the second time in the past two days, more than Charlie had ever had with a call.
“If it's to go to another meeting with the leader of the exorcist army again—no. I'm sorry, Dad, but I can't deal with that—that—that asshole again! Not to mention you didn't even send me with the proper paperwork or tell me what the meetings are for.” Charlie let out a pained sigh, looking at her arm, a bit of sting still present where Adam grabbed her.
“Paperwork? What paper—oh my Father in Heaven, I am so sorry! It completely slipped my mind that the Extermination just happened and that they would need that!” Lucifer said, papers being flipped around rather fast on Lucifer’s desk from the sounds of it. “He’s scheduled another meeting for next week and I’d prefer him not to rub it in my face that I’m no longer in contact with your mother and I know he will. He’s an asshole like that. And don’t you want to make a difference in Hell? This will be your only way to get into contact with Heaven.”
“Dad, no.”
“Please, Charlie! I’ll do anything for you!”
Charlie rubbed her temples with her pointer finger and her thumb, her mind thinking about the things she could have her dad do for her. She could use some books on therapy from the human world which her dad did have contact with a demon who could get them…
“Fine.”
“Oh my Father! Thank you, Charlie, you have—”
“I have two conditions though. One, you send me the papers I need for the meeting. Second, you get me in contact with Dantalion.”
“Dantalion? Alright. I’ll send you the papers now—”
Charlie heard a buzz, the papers appearing in her hands, a small smile appearing on her face.
“As for Dantalion, I’ll need a moment. He’s a very busy doctor—”
“Librarian.”
“Right! But just maybe you’ll need to remind me if I don’t finish it after the meeting which is…” More paper fwipping. “Next week, same time as this week’s.”
“I’ll be there.”