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knee deep in the passenger seat or whatever the kids are calling it these days

Summary:

this is literally just my dumbass dnd characters backstory. pls only read this if ur jj otherwise i will die of embarrassment <3

Notes:

im splitting it into chapters to make it easier for me to write. pls enjoy my very vague description of a weird dnd beast bc i didnt wanna accidentally create something thats not canon to the world <3

Chapter 1: me when i accidentally assist terrorists

Chapter Text

Vienna Sausage could smell her own excitement in the air. The thrill of a hunt was like ecstasy to her, it kept her coming back like a dog on a leash. She was motionless now, poised behind the bush to pounce the instant her target showed its face. Her ears twitched as she scanned the area with her senses, slit pupils shrinking when she peered into the dark distance. Any moment now, the beast would reach the end of their trail and fall straight into their trap. Vienna’s tail twitched with glee as she pictured the moment she finally caught the thing, the sounds it would make as she overcame its strength.

CRACK! Vienna’s ears perked straight up. It seemed she didn’t have to wait much longer for her reward. Out of the thick foliage of the forest came the beast. It was much larger than it had appeared from a distance. Its thick, furry body—which had to be as big as at least a small horse—was contoured by stiff muscle from years of hunting its own prey. Sharp ears twitched at the smallest of sounds, and its deep red eyes skimmed the clearing with vision Vienna knew was much better than her own. As it sniffed the ground with its long snout, puffs of grey smoke flew out of its nostrils. Though she couldn’t see them, Vienna knew there to be a beautiful row of shiny, deadly teeth in its mouth.

With every step the creature took toward the bush Vienna hid in, her grin grew bigger. Just a few more feet, and she’d be ready to pounce. The monster wouldn’t know what hit it. With just a bit of space left between the two, the beast reached the end of its trail. It looked up, sniffing the air for remnants of what it was looking for.

Before the beast could even begin to imagine what was happening, Vienna pounced. With surprising agility, she jumped over the bush where she hid, bounced off a nearby tree, and landed on the back of the beast. As it let out a monstrous roar, she grabbed it by the ears and pulled.

“Kel, now!” Vienna shouted toward a nearby tree as she struggled to stay on the beast. The creature kicked and twisted, but Vienna held her position strong. The beast’s increased frustration only seemed to egg her on, and she even started cackling with joy.

A shadowy figure wrapped in a cloak leapt out of a tree, their arms outstretched in an offensive position. As they whispered something intelligible under their breath, a shimmering blue light encompassed the beast. Slowly, its thrusts for control lessoned, until it slumped to the floor, finally motionless.

Vienna slid of the unconscious beast, wiping the back of her hand on her forehead. “Shewt, I dunno how much longer I coulda lasted on that thang,” she said, nearly breathless. “That was mighty fine timin’, Kel.”

The shadowy figure slipped the hood of their cloak off, revealing pallid skin and a head of thin silver hair. “I’m just glad the spell actually worked,” they replied with a timid smile. “It was much larger than I expected. Any larger, and I imagine it would have been more like a wave of drowsiness for the creature.”

“Well, thank the Cat Lord the thang didn’t get its three meals a’day in.” Vienna let out a sharp laugh, then sauntered over to the sleeping creature. She stared down at it with curiosity, her lips pursed into a frown. “Whadaya reckon the Syndicate wants with it? I mean, they specifically asked for it alive.”

Kel walked over to stand by her and observed the creature as well. “I don’t know. Had they wanted it dead, I would have understood. The creature’s teeth go for quite a price on the black market.”

“Welp, they don’t pay us ta question ‘em.” Vienna perked up in an instant and dashed off to the bush she hid earlier. “C’mon, we better get it loaded before it wakes up!”

Kel chuckled as they watched Vienna attempt to drag a wooden log out from behind the bush all by herself. After a moment, they jogged over to help the girl carry the log. Together, the two carried the log to the beast and began tying its massive paws together and to the wood.


The crackle of the campfire was the only thing that could split through the gentle hum of crickets in the dark of the woods. Vienna mindlessly poked the fire with a stick as she stared into it with glazed-over eyes. The exhaustion of the day well spent was getting to her, and a yawn slipped out of her mouth before she knew it was coming.

“You should go to sleep. I can take first watch.” Kel didn’t look up as they worked at reloading bullets. They picked up an empty shell, tarnished metal glinting in the firelight as they held it up and poured gunpowder in it from a pouch.

Vienna’s eyes flickered to their silhouette across the fire, focusing on the bullet in their hand. She watched as Kel loaded it into their machine, noticed their muscles flex as they pulled the lever to fasten the head on the bullet. Her ears flicked back as Kel dropped the bullet into their bag with a clink. As her eyes glanced back up at Kel’s face, she furrowed her brows.

“I don’t wanna work with the Scarlet Syndicate again.”

Kel turned around to look at Vienna, a confused look on their face. “Where is this coming from?” They asked. “You seemed fine when we dropped the beast off earlier.”

Vienna shifted uncomfortably, her tail wrapping around her hips. “I didn’t wanna piss ‘em off. You know what they’re capable of.” Vienna’s frown grew, and she added apprehensively, “I had half a’mind to just steal that beast right outta their hands, if I hadn’t been so damn scared of ‘em.”

Kel opened their mouth to reply, then paused. A curious look flashed over their face, tinged by confusion. After a moment, they replied, “You’ve never complained about our buyers before. What’s so different about the Syndicate?”

“It’s all that politics shit they do. I don’t wanna know I helped it happen.” Vienna’s voice raised with this statement, her face switching from uneasiness to frustration. “That beast is probably gonna be a part o’their next act of terrorism. And I put it right in their hands!”

Kel put down their reloading supplies and crawled over to the fire to sit opposite to Vienna. They stared into her eyes, firm. “You don’t know that’s what they’re going to do with it. They could be training it for battle, or something similar.”

“Didn’t you notice the way Lady Valum was talkin’, all cryptic-like? That ain’t the way you speak when you’re trainin’ a dog to sit.” Vienna tucked her knees underneath her arms. She broke Kel’s gaze, choosing instead to look out into the vast darkness of the forest surrounding them. “I just… I don’t want us ta get all tangled up in this politics stuff. We got somethin’ good goin’ here. I don’t want anything ta stop it.”

Kel took a moment to study Vienna. Their face was marked with solemnity, but there was a trace of warmth somewhere within it. When they finally replied, they did so softly. “We don’t have to work with the Syndicate anymore. Not if it means that much to you.”

Vienna peeked back over at Kel. A hint of a smile flashed on her face. Without another word, she hopped to her feet. “I’m takin’ you up on that offer to take first rest. I need all tha rest I can get after today.” As she headed to their shelter, Vienna stopped beside Kel. She dug into her pocket and pulled out a handful of empty bullet shells. “Here. Forgot these from yesterday. Picked ‘em up just fer you.”

Kel took the offered shells with a soft smile. “Thank you. Rest well, my friend.”

As Vienna trotted off, her tail brushed gently against Kel’s shoulder. The changeling gazed into the fire, hand on the spot the tail had touched.