Chapter Text
‘’You’re alone.’’ His therapist said in a calm manner but Bucky knew she was frustrated with him. ‘’You’re 100 years old, you have no history, no family-‘’ he had to cut her off, ‘’Are you lashing out on me Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional.’’ It wasn’t a nice session to say the least. He was a civilian now and he had to get therapy once a month, at first it was every week and it was horrible. He never believed in shrinks, maybe that was his old fashioned side talking but in Wakanda, he was making progress. Sometimes he would just sit in his small flat and imagine that he was in Wakanda again, in his small hut, surrounded by divine nature and animals… how he missed that place. Bucky observed his Doc, she was in her middle ages, married and had two children, one could see the photos on her glass desk, she always had a plain shirt and plazzo pants, her hair tied back. Thanks to his training she could deduce human behavior so meticulously perfect that he didn’t even need to talk to them to get to know them. He would just know. ‘’Your homework,’’ she began, obviously fed up with him not being so cooperative, ‘’Stop ignoring Sam Wilson’s calls and start making new friends. I know you’re not gonna but-‘’ she sighed, looking at his stoic expression, ‘’go on a small date.’’ With her last sentence he scuffed and rolled his blue eyes, that was out of the question for him. How could someone trust him and how could he trust someone?!
‘’At least call Sam back.’’ She pleaded. The session was over, he got up from his seat, ‘’Will do.’’ He gave her a soldier salute and then waltzed out of her office, as he was about to close the door with his high senses he could hear the woman sigh and write on her notes. The soft sound of pen making contact with paper filled his already buzzing mind. He marched the halls of the building, he noticed the way people who work here avoiding making eye contact, moving out of his way. He knew the effect he had on people, they were afraid of him, as they should be because he didn’t even trust himself, he was healed in Wakanda, thanks to the community there especially Wakanda’s highly trained Dora Milaje but he was in fear that one day he was going to snap and become the Winter Soldier again. Of course his therapist didn’t know this fear of his, he wasn’t good at opening up, giving details.
Today he was off, didn’t have anything to do so his plan was to go the pub near his home and drink, maybe see Mr. Nakajima, Bucky was living in an apartment complex with his neighbors but he was only talking to Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez.
The reason why he was helping Mr. Nakajima was that when he was the Winter Soldier he had killed his son, he was trying to make amends and this was his way of saying sorry. He was helping him and keeping him company. Mrs. Rodriguez on the other hand was just a sweet old lady who would bake for him and Bucky would take out her trash and help her carry the groceries. As he was marching to his Harley he thought about Doc’s words, ‘’You are alone…’’ no, he wasn’t. Even though his friends were old he still had some people around him… maybe he should return Sam’s calls.
On his bike he had an idea, he was stopping at the red light, Mrs. Rodriguez once mentioned that her husband, until his last day he would get her a bouquet of red roses every week. Bucky wanted to surprise the old lady who was like a mom to him at this point, (even though he was actually older than her) it would be a nice surprise. The city was crowded as usual, he loved to watch people, most of them were in hurry. Hurrying to pick up their kids from school, getting groceries, trying to run to their appointments… life was normal for them but for James Buchanan Barnes Jr. life had never been normal. Even back in the 40s he was protecting his ma from his dad, he was hustling jobs before he became a soldier. It was never easy for him and it wasn’t going to be, he had made peace with that but sometimes, especially late at night as he laid on the floor of his small living room his mind dared to dream. A nice home, lights are on, soft music playing at the background and a woman greeting him as he enters their home… In those split seconds he would stop himself as soon as he realizes that he was dreaming something that could never happen. He didn’t see himself worthy of that kind of life.
He parked his bike on the empty ally and looked around, there was a flower shop across the street so he walked up to the shop. His boots heavy on the pavement, he had his black hoodie and his black leather jacket on top with black jeans and boots, he never forgot his leather gloves, he didn’t like people seeing his metal arm. He didn’t want to be recognized as the Winter Soldier, he was just Bucky.
The tall glass showed the inside, it looked like a cozy place, the door of the place was dark green, there was a writing on the tall glass it said ‘’Floral Fantasia’’ as he opened the door he could hear the golden bell that was attached to the door, the floors were dark wood, one could see the various types of flowers in large vases. The strong scent of freshness filled his nostrils, he had never smelt that many flowers in one place before, there was a young girl behind one of the counters and she was busy with decorating a vase, ‘’Hello Sir.’’ She smiled, Bucky didn’t return the smile, he was still standing, the door behind him. ‘’Y/N!’’ the young girl called, apparently she was busy to take his order. She smiled apologetically again, her blue eyes ran up and down on him, as she turned to go to the back of the flower shop she gave him a quick look again, Bucky could tell that this blue eyed blonde woman found him attractive, which made him feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Soon the blue eyed girl returned with another girl, now Bucky was close to the counter that had the cashier, waiting impatiently, he was about to leave when he saw her.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66A_3uwuZ_I (this is the song that plays when Bucky sees her for the first time)
‘’My friend will take your order Sir, sorry to keep you waiting.’’ The previous girl said but Bucky almost didn’t hear her. His deep blue eyes focused on the new girl and as soon as he saw her something in him shifted. She looked up with those pretty eyes, eyes that could destroy empires, there was a height difference between them so she had to look up at him. She smiled kindly at him, she didn’t have any make up on, she was wearing a simple white long sleeve shirt, why was she wearing that in this heat? Bucky was covering his arm so he had to, her blue jeans fit her hips perfectly, her long hair tied carefully, Bucky could feel his heart picking up the pace, his flesh palm getting sweatier with a certain kind of feeling he couldn’t quite place. ‘’What would you like to have Sir?’’ she simply asked, Bucky had to clear his dry throat before he could speak, ‘’A bouquet of red roses.’’ He replied with a cold tone but deep down he could feel the strange attraction towards her. He watched her skillful hands work on the bouquet, she must have been doing this for a long time, ‘’Here you are.’’ She finished her work of art and extended the bouquet and he specifically got the roses with his non metal hand, just to feel her fingers brush the leather and maybe feel a fraction if he was lucky. ‘’That’ll be 40 dollars Sir.’’ He got the money from his leather wallet and used the same hand to give the money, their fingers brushed again, he wished he didn’t have the gloves but he had to. ‘’Thank you so much, have a great day.’’ She said smiling as she placed the money, he only nodded and left the place in a hurry. His mind was going to dark places such as waiting outside till her shift ends… he forced himself to walk to his bike, he placed the roses carefully on the small trunk that was at the back, got on the bike and started the engine and waited. His thoughts occupied by the girl’s sweet smile and beautiful face. He exhaled, ‘’She is just attractive, that’s all.’’ He thought, ‘’If it was the 40s I would’ve asked her out on a movie night, maybe we would go to the beach and drink coke..’’
After waiting on his bike for few minutes he left the empty ally.
‘’Gosh! He was dreamy!’’ Y/N’s work bestie Melanie pointed out as soon as the man left. They had to finish up the vases for a wedding. The bride had chosen white tulips with slight green here and there, Y/N’s focus was on the glass vase she had just finished decorating, she sighed, deep in thoughts. Was she going to have a wedding one day? ‘’I’m sorry, what did you say?’’ she asked, Melanie was sitting on one of the tables, swaying her legs like a child, her blue eyes looking at Y/N, ‘’The man who bought the roses, he was so hot!’’ she tried to remember but all she remembered was a stern look and a tall muscular frame, ‘’Oh, you think so?’’ Y/N had started a new vase, her hands quick. ‘’Girl, didn’t you even look at him. I wish he would come back! You know what, if he comes again I’ll let you know so that you’ll see how hot he is.’’ Melanie was persistent, ‘’Alright alright, get back to work.’’ Y/N said, she was few years older than Melanie and also their boss made it clear that when he wasn’t around Y/N was in charge because she was responsible and always got the job done no matter what. ‘’How are thing with your boyfriend?’’ Melanie was a chatty one, Y/N’s hands started to shake when she heard the question maybe because she didn’t eat lunch yet, ‘’He just moved in with me.’’ Y/N replied, forcing a smile. They had a huge fight this morning, that’s why she was wearing a long sleeved shirt, ‘’Oh after 5 years, finally!’’ Melanie said, it was true, Y/N and Leo were together for five years, she didn’t remember the time they were so in love, maybe the first year of their relationship… Leo was so nice and kind.. she often wondered what happened to that sweet boy who was replaced with a gambling monster. Leo had to move in with Y/N because he was in a lot of debt, she was helping him for maybe two years, giving him money and food and now he was in her small apartment, he had to be under the radar for a while so her place was the perfect solution. Y/N’s weary head felt more heavier than usual, she rested her hands on the counter for a split second, eyes closed, ‘’You okay?’’ Melanie immediately noticed her friend being dizzy, ‘’Yeah, just, I need water.’’ She managed to say, Melanie rushed to the back, they had a small kitchen at the back and a lounge area, she brought a tall glass of water for her friend, ‘’Here. You can sit for a while.’’
Y/N only nodded, her arms feeling weak.
Bucky never used the elevator, he was climbing up the stairs holding the bouquet in one hand, the other free. The government had placed him in that apartment complex to make him adjust to the new world, he had to be among people all the time and he detested it most of the time. The apartment’s flats were occupied by various people, old, young, single, married, so many different lives that made him feel stuck in a time capsule, he wasn’t that young boy who got drafted to war, he wasn’t a killing machine either, what was he now? He had no idea. He walked up to Mrs. Rodriguez’s door, knocked on it thrice, waiting patiently, soon the door opened and the old lady’s brown eyes smiled at him. He noticed that every time she saw him there was a light in her eyes, it made his heart get a warm feeling. ‘’Hi, Mrs. Rodriguez, these are for you.’’ He extended the roses, his mind flashing him with the image of that girl who had made the bouquet, so sweet, so innocent looking..
‘’Aw, James!’’ she was one of the rare people he revealed his first name, she was now smiling ear to ear, there was dust of flour on her chubby fingers, she must have been baking again, per usual. Her pink apron was old and stitched so many times it reminded him the old times where one had to stitch their clothes, no one could afford a new one. ‘’These are beautiful. Thank you so much, you’re such a gentleman, girls must be all over you.’’ It made him scoff but he gave her a smirk, whenever he was around old people or people he was comfortable with his old self would come out with smirks, eye rolling and smug attitude. ‘’Wait!’’ she said as she walked back inside and brought back cookies, ‘’They are still warm.’’ She was so generous ‘’Thank you so much Mrs. Rodriguez, I’ll bring back the plate.’’ He gave her a smile and said goodbye, his flat was upstairs so he climbed the stairs again.
He reached to his dark brown door, immediately he could hear Alpine’s soft meows. He opened the door and was greeted by her, she was meowing as if complaining, ‘’Yeah yeah, I know I’m late. You’re just like my Ma.’’ He locked the door as he entered, his curtains were closed, there was a grey sofa in his living room, no rug, a small TV, it was a small place, connecting the kitchen and living room. At the back there was a bedroom and bathroom. He placed the plate of cookies on the white counter, noticing Alpine’s food bowl empty, ‘’Oh that’s why you were complaining.’’ He filled the white bowl, and made sure she had water as well and then he hit the shower, he stood there under the cold water, he hated the cold but it woke him up. The cold made him remember Siberia’s freezing cells, a memory he would kill to forget. After the shower, he removed the blanket over the mirror to see if he had to shave or not but he could wait for a few days, he covered the mirror again, he didn’t like seeing his reflection because it made him feel distorted to see a man who is 100 something years old still alive with a Vibranium arm, he walked back to turn on the TV, he had a towel wrapped around his waist, his dog tags hanging and sticking to his broad chest, there was a game tonight and he didn’t want to miss it. He sat on the sofa as he zapped and found the channel, once he had found the channel he went to his fridge which only had frozen pizza and beer packs. He threw one pizza into the microwave and got few beers, as the pizza was getting warmer he walked to his bedroom door, he opened it and hit he lights. He was actually using his bedroom as a dressing room, he had a wardrobe and a bed that has never been slept on. He wore shorts and threw the towel on the bed, and walked back to get the pizza. He liked game nights, it reminded him the old times where Bucky and Steve would listen through radio with friends. There was a dominant knock on his door, he huffed, Bucky took the pizza out of the microwave and walked to the door with cautious steps, other than the government only few people knew his location. When he checked the peephole he saw Sam’s face, he lifted one of his hand to show that he brought a six pack. ‘’Drop the weapons Bucky.’’ He rolled his eyes, Bucky huffed again and answered the door, ‘’Be quick.’’ He assured Sam inside because he didn’t want anyone of his neighbors to see his vibranium arm. ‘’It’s game night! Oh great you have pizza!’’ Sam placed the beers on the counter, got himself one and then dropped to Bucky’s sofa. Without a word Bucky popped another slice into the microwave for Sam.
‘’So, you’ve been ignoring me because….’’ Sam pointed it out as they were watching the game, it had been 20 minutes. ‘’I was busy.’’ Bucky cut short with a raspy voice, ‘’Busy with what? Hanging out with old people?’’
Bucky snapped, was Sam spying on him? Or someone else getting information on him? His distorted mind started to went into a whole spiral, was Sam trustworthy? Was he also following Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez?
‘’Relax blue steel!’’ Sam raised his hands in defense, ‘’I don’t got nobody on your tail! I saw your neighbor on the way to you, sweet old man asked me if I was heading to your place.’’ Bucky’s eyes travelled on Sam’s smug face to detect if he was lying, he couldn’t find any proof so he dropped it, for now.
‘’They might be old but they’re still people so I’m doing what Doc says.’’ He defended himself with an annoyed voice, finished his beer and got up, ‘’I’m assuming that your future girlfriend is going to be what-‘’ Sam pretended like he was calculating, ‘’around 80 years.’’ And laughed out loud, he couldn’t realize the change on Bucky’s face, his mind went to the girl he saw today, at the flower shop. ‘’Yeah, right.’’ He didn’t have the energy to protest to Sam.
Something in Bucky kept whispering, a soft voice calling him, he knew from the very first start that he wouldn’t be able to stay away from her.
Chapter Text
It had been a week since the game night, Sam had mentioned a mission coming up, it wasn’t soon but Sam didn’t have to hear him say yes, he was always ready for a mission. A mission was an only thing that made Bucky comfortable, he had been so use to being a soldier and a killing machine that it made his mind calm and relaxed, he liked planning and following the plan, getting the bad guys behind bars or under the ground was something he knew how to do, getting a new life? That was something else. He had woken up in cold sweat, on the floor of his living room, he had a thin blanked on him, covering his bare chest and he could feel his dog tags stuck to his wet chest, he was hyper-aware of the sweat, the dog tags, his navy blue shorts and the blanket on him, he sat breathing heavily. He woke up before his alarm which was set to 6 am. It was 5.38 in the morning, the nightmare felt too real, as if he were there pulling the trigger. He huffed and got to his feet, he marched to his bathroom to start the day a bit early. As he took a shower with warm water his mind drifted to the girl he had seen 2 days ago. Was she also getting ready for work or was it a day off? His mind already making a plan to ride the bike near her workplace, maybe Mrs. Rodriguez needed groceries and he could pick them up, on his way he could also take a tour around a certain flower shop. He left the shower, dried himself with a towel and walked to the bedroom to get dressed. He wore a dark grey hoddie, black pants, boots and leather jacket with leather gloves. Alpine was content, not moving a muscle on the couch, he put some cat food and water in her bowls and got his house and bike keys from the kitchen counter, ‘’See you later Alpine.’’ He said and rubbed her head before he left his apartment. He first knocked on Mr. Nakajima’s door, they were on the same floor, ‘’I’m coming!’’ he heard the old man’s yell, he was moving slow due to his age. Mr. Nakajima answered the door with a grumpy look as usual, ‘’Hey Mr. Nakajima, I’m heading out do you need anything that I can get you?’’ every time Bucky saw the old guy he felt this sour feeling in his stomach, the sour feeling of regret and punishment. Bucky was punishing himself, in his mind he murdered Mr. Nakajima’s innocent son and Bucky had to pay the price, to him it didn’t matter if he was a brainwashed solider at the time. ‘’No, thank you but do ask Mrs. Rodriguez.’’ He was a simple man with few words, didn’t like to talk too much and always straight to the point, Bucky saw himself in him. ‘’Will do. Have a great day.’’ And the door shut to his face.
He used the stairs as usual and reached Mrs. Rodriguez’s door and knocked softly, soon the old lady answered, ‘’James!’’ her brown eyes got brighter with seeing him, ‘’Such a handsome face to start my day.’’ She added and Bucky smirked, ‘’I have some errands to run, do you need anything from outside?’’ The old lady smiled kindly, ‘’Ah, you’re a life saver James. I need eggs and flour. Here let me get my purse.’’ But Bucky stopped her, ‘’Please Mrs. Rodriguez, I’ll get back with those soon. You always share what you bake so let me.’’ He raised his gloved hands in protest, he learned from his ma that he should be a gentleman and help women all the time. ‘’Dear James! You’re such a sweet boy, not many left like you these days.’’ She looked sentimental, maybe she remembered the times where men were real men. ‘’See ya later.’’ Bucky said and headed to the stairs again to leave the building. He didn’t have any errands to run, he just needed and excuse, an excuse so that he could justify his actions to his rational side of his brain.
He got onto his bike, these past 7 days all he could think about was her. Her kind smile, skillful hands, soft demeanor, she represented everything he wasn’t and that draw his attention, on his bike he tried to focus on the road, his first stop was the market, he got some flour and eggs and then he left the market, few blocks down was the Floral Fantasia, his main goal. In his one hand he was carrying the bag and marching the pavement like a soldier in his heavy boots. A man on a mission. As he saw the place his heart started to beat faster than normal, the shop was open, it was 2 pm, the city was busy per usual. Cars and bikes were passing by, life was flowing for everyone around him. A kid passed, probably 7 or 8 years old, holding his mother’s hand and in his other hand he had candy, they stopped at the lights, the kid looked up to Bucky, his green eyes went wide, Bucky knew the kid recognized him. He was wearing a Captain America t-shirt of course he knew who was the Cap’s childhood best friend. Even though Bucky’s hair was short and he covered his metal arm at all times his face was the same, he had to leave before the kid made a scene but something happened that he couldn’t understand. The kid with green eyes smiled at him ear to ear and then his mother urged him to walk. He froze for a second, didn’t know what to do and then he saw the green light so he walked. His feet took him to the shop like a trained memory even though he had been here once. Carefully he pushed the door and walked in, the bell rang as he got inside, the same fresh smell hit his nose and his distorted and dark mind associated the sweet scent with her. This time she wasn’t at the back, she was at the front, behind the cash register and her head lifted as soon as she heard the door being opened and that damn beautiful smile, deep down he knew that she had to smile like this to everyone who came in and it didn’t sit right with him. She was wearing blue jeans, a bit baggy, maybe she had lost some weight but didn’t buy a new pair, and she had a white tank top and a blue shirt on top, her golden name tag on her left side, Y/N… what a name, a certain feeling of possessiveness washed over him, he wanted no one but himself to say her name. His eyes wandered on her chest and up her face. ‘’Hello Sir, how may I help you?’’ she asked with that soft voice, he approached, he placed the bag he was carrying on the white counter and he leaned on it with his two hands, towering over her, with broad shoulders, ‘’I would like to have a bouquet of red roses please.’’ He said with a flat tone but his eyes weren’t flat at all. His ocean eyes found her Y/E/C eyes and dared her to look at him directly. The other girl was watching the scene unfold and didn’t make a sound. ‘’Of course.’’ She nodded and Bucky noticed the pink dust on her cheeks, his eyes followed her every move. She got the roses and everything she needed to make that bouquet, Y/N noticed the flour and eggs inside the bag, ‘’Do you bake?’’ she asked out of curiosity, he didn’t look the type, with her question he paused, observing her first, was she interested? Maybe or maybe not. Her hair falling from her shoulders and covering the side of her face, he wanted to reach and tuck a strand behind her ear and he had to struggle with himself to not do it. ‘’No.’’ he said and then the stillness followed, she looked up for a second to meet his gaze and when he didn’t continue explaining she lowered her head to do her job, he felt bad, very very bad. ‘’Uh- a neighbor of mine does. She needed the ingredients.’’ He shortly explained and it made her look at him again, if it meant that him talking would make her look at him, Bucky would never shut up, even though that wasn’t characteristic of him at all. ‘’How kind of you to get her groceries.’’ She commented and for once in years Bucky blushed, he lowered his head, he didn’t know what to do with that strange heat in his cheeks. He bit his bottom lip in desperation. ‘’Please praise me more..’’ his mind begged in silence, even though this was the second time he saw her, Bucky knew he was getting hooked but in silent obsession.
‘’All done.’’ She announced later, till then he noticed he watched her like a predator and to their audience it must have been a good show. ‘’That’ll be 40 dollars.’’
Bucky reached to his wallet inside his leather jacket, got 40 USA dollars and extended to her with his non metal hand again, just to feel that tiny touch through his gloved hand. A sudden rush of worry washed his entire body when he saw a red hand mark on her delicate wrist, and then rage followed. His blue eyes looked at the bruise and then up at her pretty eyes, she realized what was happening and quickly got the money and placed it on the cash register. ‘’Have a great day Sir.’’ She said with a quick breath, ‘’Thank you. You too.’’ He said slowly as his mind was contemplating on what to do. He got the roses and his bag and then unwillingly left the flower shop.
Why did she have a bruise on her wrist?
Why did she look apologetic as if it was her fault?
Did she fell or…
He didn’t want to think further, he placed the things on his bike’s small compartment and got onto the bike, the Harley’s engine was heard by the girls inside the flower shop and he rode the bike, not knowing a pair of pretty eyes watching from the window of the shop.
On his way back home his mind didn’t give him a rest, he exhaled deeply as he parked his Harley and got his things, with a stern look he got inside the building, climbed up the stairs to Mrs. Rodriguez’s door and knocked. The woman was surprised again, she didn’t expect Bucky to give her another bouquet of red roses but she was happy, thanked him so many times and promised to keep baking for him. Her presence gave him comfort and he liked that. Later he climbed up to his place and unlocked the door, Alpine greeted him with meows and rubbing herself on his legs, he closed his door behind him and locked it. ‘’Hey baby girl.’’ He greeted, he was grateful that he had Alpine, she was the one who kept him alive and gave him a reason to wake up every morning and recently there was another reason to wake up from his nightmares... as Bucky remembered her he remembered the mark on her wrist. He flung himself on the couch which was covered in Alpine’s white fur but he didn’t mind. ‘’Come here sweet girl.’’ And Alpine jumped on his lap, he removed his gloves and started petting her, she was purring and he loved the sound of that. ‘’It’s stupid.’’ He found himself taking to his non verbal cat, ‘’Why do I even care? She is no one to me..’’ he was rather chatty today. Alpine was rubbing herself and body on his palm and meowing softly as if she was trying to give her ideas, he chuckled, ‘’I’m going insane aren’t I Alpine?’’ He got up and looked at his silver watch on his wrist that was non vibranium. It was 6 pm, he was hungry and decided to eat outside. There was a small Japanese place nearby, a place he usually went with Mr. Nakajima but tonight he wanted to go alone and eat some sushi, maybe a bowl of ramen. He liked Asian food and even though that place was small it was the best. He never trusted big restaurant chains because the food was mediocre in those places, however in small business, especially a family restaurant had the most tastiest dishes. ‘’Alright alright, I’ll get you something extra!’’ he protested to Alpine who was protesting as he left his flat.
The place was crowded and it was easy to blend in the crowd, a trick from his Winter Soldier times. It was a rather dark place with small dark brown tables and a bar place, one could see the chef making the dishes behind the bar, the delicious smell of soy sauce made his stomach growl, he sat behind. It was an old style restaurant where they had a menu book and order, he liked it very much. He decided to order a plate of sushi and a beer so he raised his hand, the waitress and she was also the bartender Leah came to get his order, they got used to each other, he was a regular customer here. ‘’Where is your pal?’’ she asked smiling, ‘’Oh, he was tired so you have me.’’ He replied and gave is order, ‘’Thank you.’’ Didn’t forget to thank her, the service workers were the backbone of this country and he was careful to treat them with respect.
He could hear half Japanese and half English words from the customers, most were also regular, he could speak Japanese thanks to his training under HYDRA he could speak so many languages. They were talking about mundane life problems, how they’re paying their mortgage, their kids and wives, the restaurant had mostly male customers so topics were sports, their wives and kids and their debts. He felt an outsider every time he heard the conversations, he never had a wife to complain about, hell he didn’t even have a proper long term relationship, yes he was popular among the ladies back then but mostly short term and then the war happened, the rest was history. Now he was 106, didn’t look like it but felt like it in his every fiber. His order came as he was thinking about his life and having a crisis, he thanked again to Leah. ‘’Let me know if you need anything else.’’ He nodded and she walked away. As he took his first bite he imagined Y/N sitting before her, eating together, it was such a simple daydream but felt so far away and out of reach.. he shook his head and focus on his plate.
It was maybe around 9 pm when he left the restaurant, he had few beers and talked to couple of guys, ‘’Damn, I forgot!’’ he talked to himself, he promised Alpine to get her a treat so he hopped on his bike and rode to nearest convenient store.
He walked inside the store, no one was around, it was getting late. He walked the aisles and found a treat for Alpine and marched to the front to pay and he dropped the can. It was her, now she had a blue uniform, a name tag again and she also froze when she saw him but she was the one who quickly shook her head and smiled, ‘’How may I help you?’’ said looking up at him, Bucky picked up the metal can and placed it on the counter, she scanned it, ‘’That’ll be 5 dollars.’’ She replied, his mind was hazy. He gave the 5 dollar bill, ‘’Thank you. Have a great night.’’ She smile and said, but he could see the realization in her pretty eyes. ‘’Thank you.’’ He managed to say and left in hurry.
Notes:
Thank you for reading. :) My tumblr is @shegatsby
Chapter Text
Bucky was as if someone hammered him on the spot where he left his bike before he walked into the store, it was open for 24/7 so she must be on the night shift, was this her daily routine? During the day she was at the flower shop and at night she was at the store, his dark mind was going to places he couldn’t hinder, ‘’Was she sent by the HYDRA?’’ this couldn’t be a coincidence or was it just fate? The world was getting smaller and smaller these days, as his mind was screaming at him his body was like a marble statue, unmoving. He was leaning on his bike, the treat he got for Alpine in his leather jacket’s pocket. ‘’Why does she have two jobs?’’ he asked himself, was she paying a debt or she had mouths to feed back at home? He could understand that because he was the eldest of 4 siblings, he had to quit school and start working, his father George Barnes had died and he became the man of the house real quick and then he enlisted in the army when the war broke out. ‘’Was she married? No, too young, plus no wedding ring.’’ As he dwelled on these thoughts he watched people go in, buy things and leave the store. From where he was he could see her standing, smiling at every customer, ‘’Does she have to smile to everyone?’’ a whisper behind his ear, ‘’James! Get a grip, she is no one to you, get back home!’’ another whisper. The next thing he knew he stood there, leaning on his bike till dawn, watching her greeting morning worker and giving him the uniform and then leaving with weary shoulders. Her hands in her jacket’s pockets, her brown bag tucked on her shoulder, she was walking, Bucky’s feet started to move, stealth in his steps, his feet had its own mind apparently. She was across him on the other sidewalk so she didn’t notice a thing, one could hear people waking up and the city becoming alive once again with the first lights of the day. Buses were on duty, people were heading to their jobs, life as normal as it could get. She was a strange creature to him, so calm mannered and focused on her jobs, Bucky could sense that she was a hard-working woman and he liked it but also detest it at the same time. She deserved to lay back and take it easy but she must be in a situation where she had to hustle, Bucky bet that she had side hustles as well.
She wasn’t taking any buses or heading to the subway, she was determined to walk back home and so was Bucky. He wanted to see her building, was it a safe place? As they walked the streets he could see that it wasn’t safe, he hated that. He hated that she wasn’t in a safe environment, he hated that she didn’t have someone to look after her. She reached to a building after 20 minutes of non-stop walking, on their separate walks Bucky noticed few things, how she never looked at any shop windows or street food carts, she must be starving but her head was low, was she ignoring the delicious smells or shiny objects on purpose so that she wouldn’t have to buy or dare to want. Bucky knew how scary to dare to want something because it meant hope, and hope was a dangerous thing . Without even looking around her she walked inside through the brown doors of the building, it was similar to Bucky’s building but shabbier, he waited outside for two minutes and then walked in behind her. He was just going to check her mailbox or maybe find out which floor and door belonged to her, was it crazy? He didn’t answer that question and it hung in his mind, screaming at him.
The inside mailboxes were on the wall, just like any other apartment complex, he found her name and
‘’Y/N Y/L/N’’
Her mailbox was empty, he figured that she must be doing everything online and no one sends letters these days other than important governmental forms. He sighed, he wondered which floor and the door was hers, the elevator was out of order so if it was at the top she must be climbing the stairs still, Bucky stopped before the stairs which were covered with a dirty carpet, one couldn’t tell the color anymore. He sighed again and started to climb the stairs, the building had 5 floors, he quickly climbed the stairs, as he reached the 4th floor he heard and saw a door closing, was it hers? His heart was beating wild, what would have happened if she were to just take the trash out and saw him standing there? He slowly approached the door and saw the number, it was 8.
He wasn’t sure if it belonged to her and he was about to leave and he heard sounds, ‘’Where were you?’’ a man said with a gruff voice, he heard some glasses being moved on the floor, ‘’I was at the night shift.’’ And it was her soft voice but this time she sounded more cautious and alert. ‘’You should’ve told me that you got a second job Y/N!’’ the man said clearly unhappy and he sounded young, couldn’t be her father for sure. His hands were in fists, ‘’I’m going to make breakfast.’’ She replied, and then no sound followed. She must be in a relationship and living together in a shitty apartment. His ears were ringing and he could feel his blood boiling, Bucky waltzed out of that building, not looking back, if he looked back he knew that he would break down the door and ask why was her wrist bruised.
Y/N’s hands were shaking as she made breakfast, bacon and eggs for Leo and cereals for her, she didn’t have appetite lately. She made coffee and poured orange juice as well for him, he was in the shower, as she looked around she saw empty beer bottles on the small living room, he was invading her space for sure. She picked up the empty bottles and threw them in trash, opened the curtains and windows for fresh air to come and cleans her space, ‘’When did we turn into this?’’ she asked herself, a drunk gambler and his bread winner girlfriend. Leo was in debt and it was a lot, in order to hide he came to live with her but she was telling Melanie that Leo was in love with her and moved in with her. What was she suppose to say? That their love died years ago and she was the only escape he could use? She wasn’t exactly getting young and Leo was the only one she had for years…. She sighed in grief of their deceased love and got back to the kitchen which was connected to the living room, it was a small one bedroom apartment. She was almost finished with her cereal when he came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, he was handsome still with his blonde hair and beard, she used to get butterflies seeing him, she used to forget to breath when she saw him and now all she could think about was the bruise on her wrist. Leo wasn’t like this before, they met in high school, he was the bad boy and she was the nice girl, everyone wondered why Leo was with her, she was getting good grades, respectable young girl… when her parents died Leo was the one who helped her, so she never forgot that, during hard times he was with her but now… things have changed completely. ‘’Huh?’’ Leo’s voice brought back to the reality of her situation, ‘’Nothing, I just zoned out.’’ She replied and smiled but it was a dead one. Leo was too occupied with his bacon and eggs to notice it.
On the other hand, Bucky didn’t remember how he walked back to his bike and rode back home. The ringing in his ear didn’t stop till he reached home and picked up Alpine to calm himself, in chaotic situations or if he ever got triggered he would always pet Alpine, her purring calmed him all the time. ‘’Here Alpine.’’ He said as he got the treat out of his jacket’s pocket and opened the metal can with one quick move, Alpine happily ate the treat and Bucky watched her. ‘’Fuck..’’ he sighed, ‘’She has someone Alpine.’’ He spoke to his cat as usual. ‘’I should stop, shouldn’t I?’’ the cat was eating her delicious treat so he was left with his thoughts on his couch, covered in white fur. He huffed and laid his head back, closed his azure eyes but that didn’t help, he saw Y/N, her smile, her pure face, it was just too much and the fact that he didn’t get any sleep made him feel uneasy, he never slept too much but he needed at least 4-5 hours of it to function properly. Bucky got up, took of his jacket and threw it on the wooden floor and laid on his couch, his flesh arm covering his eyes he tried to get some sleep.
Y/N took a shower, didn’t forget to lock the door. She didn’t want to be disturbed and she knew Leo, no respect for privacy. His presence made her take a quick shower, she used to love getting a shower for a long time but now her body kept rushing her, after shower she wore the clothes she brought in the bathroom, an oversized shirt, baggy shorts, she brushed her hair and dried it. She didn’t have much skincare routine because the products were expensive and she didn’t have a budget to spare right now.. or ever. As she looked at her blurry reflection on the steamed bathroom mirror her mind went back to last night when she saw him. The ‘’Rose Guy’’ it was a nickname Melanie came up with, she chuckled and closed her mouth with her hand immediately, why did she chuckled? ‘’What a coincidence.’’ She said and applied her one and only moisturizer on her face. She wasn’t being honest with herself, ever since she saw him she kept thinking about him, the dark haired and blue eyed stranger looked fascinating to her. He wasn’t a talker unlike her other customers who loved to make small talk with her or Melanie, they loved to tell who were they buying the flowers for or what was the occasion etc. but not him. Something in her hoped to see him again next Monday for roses, when her mind wandered to a place where she was questioning who was the roses for she stopped herself and got out of the shower, she wanted to sleep before going to the flower shop. Juggling two jobs wasn’t easy and it took a tool on her.
Bucky on the other hand slept for about 2-3 hours and then lifted himself from his couch, Alpine was on the coffee table, watching him, ‘’Hey.’’ He greeted with a rough voice, petted her head and got up, he hit the shower, a quick one and then got dressed, he got his dirty clothes and headed downstairs of the building where the washing machines kept, as he was doing laundry he read a book, he had so many books to catch up and he was reading the Hunger Games, he promised Sam to read the books first and then watch the movies. He was halfway through it and he enjoyed it very much, a messed up society where tributes have to fight to death to win a prize, it sounded very interesting to him. As he was reading he imagined Katniss as Y/N, they were both strong women who have to be tough and get by. He huffed and placed the book aside when his laundry was clean and dry, he got his clothes back and headed upstairs. On his way he saw Mr. Nakajima, ‘’James! Lunch?’’ the old man asked, ‘’Sure Mr. Nakajima, let me put these and I’ll meet you there.’’ The old man nodded and reached for the elevator, he remembered the time where he first met, the elevator wasn’t working and no one was doing nothing about it so he took the liberty and fixed it himself. He was handy with anything, of course he didn’t tell anyone that he fixed it himself and over the months when the washing machines made a problem he tended them, the only good thing came out of HYDRA was his knowledge of fixing things and it came in handy these days.
As he got dressed he headed out, to meet with Mr. Nakajima and eat lunch at their favorite Japanese place which he visited yesterday. Leah was there, talking to him and he entered the place. ‘’Here is your buddy.’’ She announced which made the old man look over his shoulder, ‘’Great! I’m starving.’’ The man said and Bucky sat next to him. They didn’t have to order because Leah knew their classic lunch order so they decided to catch up and the topic came to Bucky being alone. ‘’You should be with someone,’’ Mr. Nakajima said, ‘’Everyone needs someone James.’’ Bucky knew the old man had no ill intentions and just saying this opinions and he was right, the problem was to trust and let your guard down and that wasn’t something he could imagine himself doing and the fact that he was the Winter Soldier and committed number of violent crimes including Mr. Nakajima’s son’s death.. Bucky was intent on being single. He didn’t want anyone to crumble under the burden of his petrifying past. ‘’Don’t you find anyone attractive, boy?!’’ Mr. Nakajima protested and Bucky’s weary head immediately pulled up an image of her, Y/N…
‘’What if I do?’’ he found himself asking which made the old man smile, ‘’Who? Is it Leah?’’ he was excited, one could see. Bucky shook his head as no because Leah just brought their lunch and left with a smile. ‘’Then who?’’
‘’You don’t know her.. to be honest neither do I…’’
Notes:
Hey! Thank you so much for reading, I'm planning on creating a playlist on Spotify about this fic so I'll add the tag when I make it. Lots of love! See you on the next chapters.
Chapter 4
Notes:
Hey guys! This is the playlist on Spotify that I've created,
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=QpcyObPvTXCpZy0DAZVy3g
Enjoy!
Chapter Text
James Buchanan Barnes had been staring at his laptop’s screen for God knew how long. Sam made him buy a laptop and he wasn’t using it much since he had a phone, his phone was old but he didn’t care. It worked and that was the most important thing. He was on his couch, laptop on the coffee table, Alpine napping next to him and he was just staring at the screen. He found Y/N’s Instagram account. She didn’t have many pictures but the ones she had were very beautiful. Her smile was contagious and she looked so care free, it made Bucky wonder what happened to that girl? He knew that girl was still in there but he assumed life took a turn and one thing led to another. He wished he didn’t follow her to her apartment because that action gave him the information of her ‘’boyfriend’’ and he had to draw a line here. She belonged to someone else… the thought made his blood boil. What kind of a man would let his woman hustle?! He scoffed in disgust. ‘’I wasn’t planning on dating anyways.’’ He said to Alpine which made the cat purr, Alpine was a very talkative cat, she would respond to his words all the time. His phone rang and he picked it up, it was Sam, telling him that the government needed them on a small mission, it would be nice to kick some people’s asses and let his anger out so he said yes.
‘’I cannot believe the Rose Guy didn’t show up.’’ Melanie whined as they were closing, sweeping the floors and tidying the place up. ‘’Maybe his girlfriend dumped him.’’ She added which made Y/N chuckle, she didn’t tell Melanie that she had a second job and she saw him. For some reason she wanted to keep that information to herself. It had been a week since she saw him anyways. Y/N found herself disappointed when he didn’t come, she waited and had hope till the closing hour but he was a no show and she didn’t know why she was upset. She shrugged her shoulders and continued sweeping, cleaning and organizing kept her mind at peace and it was her escape. Ever since Leo moved in with her she was a cleaning maniac, the skin of her hands got dry and cracked due to the chemicals and they bled sometimes but seeing the clean sinks, surfaces made her feel like she accomplished something.
After they finished their job they said goodbye and parted ways, Y/N really liked Melanie but every time Melanie asked her to hang out outside she had to decline, eating out or even going out for simple coffee was something she didn’t have the luxury of. She kept coming up with lies,
‘’I promised Leo.’’
‘’Leo is taking me out tonight.’’
‘’We’re going on a weekend getaway.’’
The truth was that sometimes Leo didn’t even come home for a day or two and she never asked anything. She couldn’t handle the truth and she actively choose to stay in the dark side, mind her own business. With these thoughts she walked to the store she worked at, after learning that she had a second job and it was night shift at a market Leo didn’t say anything, he brushed it off to be exact. It made her angry, she was the one paying the rent and the bills and helping him with his gambling debt. She sighed as she wore her uniform, which was a blue shirt that had her name, she sat on the uncomfortable chair behind the cash register and opened her book. She never allowed herself any luxuries except books and usually got books from the library and she was a regular there but sometimes she wanted to own the book she was reading, a piece of literature in her home so if she liked a book very much she would buy it and add it to her collection at home. It was all she could do and afford, reading. Sometimes cleaning didn’t help with her non-stopping brain. She had few people come in, buying some products and leaving, it was a calm night and she was liking the calm. She would rather stay here than going back home. And she heard the door being opened, her head casually looked up to see the customer and it was him.
Her heart skipped a beat when she saw his face being bruised, dark circles under his crystal blue eyes, a swollen lip and a cut on his eyebrow, dark purple bruises here and there. Y/N found herself bolting to her feet, walking towards him with fear in her eyes, ‘’What happened to you?!’’
Bucky had just arrived from the mission, it had been a week, at first it was an easy mission but then it got complicated and he had few bruises, nothing he didn’t experience before and he realized he didn’t have any first aid kit in his bathroom so he got on his bike, he rode to her second job, just to see her after a week but if he had known that she would be this worried he wouldn’t have walked inside at all. When he walked inside her pretty eyes found Bucky and in those eyes he saw the primal fear, fear for someone she didn’t even know, an undeserving person…
He was a super solider which was something she didn’t know and his wounds healed more quicker than a normal human being but it wasn’t instant so he needed medicine etc. Bucky froze when she stood up and rush to him, being this close, there was a significant height difference so she had to look up at him, he found it adorable and liked it very much. ‘’Uh..’’ he felt his mouth open but couldn’t speak, he closed his mouth and it hurt a bit due to the bruise, ‘’Just.. got into a fight.’’ It wasn’t a lie, he was beating the shit out of bad men and they jumped on him. Ever since Wakanda he never killed an enemy, his move was to get their weapons and neutralized them. He wasn’t a killing machine anymore and he wanted to show that. ‘’Come.’’ She said and Bucky followed her immediately, like a trained dog. Y/N took him to the back, there was a storage place, ‘’Sit.’’ She said with authority that it made Bucky sit in a second. He was a solider after all and he was prone to follow rules. Y/N brought a small first aid kit, pulled a chair to sit in front of him, she placed the kit on her lap. Y/N was used to cleaning up bruises so her hands worked like magic, the only sound was the freezer working, the white florescent lights made the storage place look like an interrogation room but Bucky felt somewhat normal. He usually let no one touch him and this girl was patching him up. She cleaned the small cuts and open slits with antiseptic and then rubbed some ointment, she was surprised to see him sit like a statue, unmoving. Lastly she placed a band aid on the cut on his cheek, it was deeper than the other cuts. ‘’Change the band aid every day.’’ She said and stood up, ‘’You need first aid kit at home so I’ll give you one,’’ she closed the kit and handed it to him, ‘’just this once. Don’t get into trouble again.’’ This was the first time she was talking to him as a normal person than their usual customer and employee dynamic. He also got up, ‘’Thank you.’’ He managed to say, he wasn’t use to people just helping him or being nice for the sake of kindness and humanity other than Mr. Nakajima and Mrs. Rodriguez and the pain in Bucky’s butt Sam Wilson. Bucky was used to being treated like an object to serve the needs of bad people. He just stood there, one hand in his pocket, the other holding the kit, he was dressed in black, black pants and boots, black hoodie, leather gloves. She was also standing there, her pretty eyes looking around than him, ‘’I..’’ she began, ‘’I should get back to work.’’ She said and head to the door, Bucky followed in silence. He could feel the pull between them, wherever she went he would follow and he liked it, as he walked behind her in the store he knew that he wasn’t going to stop. He was going to see her, follow her, be her shadow and he was fine with it. A protective shadow who would do anything and everything for her.
She walked behind the cash register, ‘’I want to pay for the kit.’’ Bucky said, he didn’t want to put her in any bad situation, ‘’No, It’s on me.’’ She said calmly, she felt safe and could be more rational now that there was a space between them, his outfit, the way he held himself and his bruises made him look so virile that she had forgotten a man could look and have that energy. He sighed, ‘’Alright.’’ And then there was a pause between them, ‘’I should go.’’ Bucky announced, he raised the hand he was holding the kit, ‘’Thanks again.’’ His ocean eyes couldn’t stop staring, ‘’Next time you’re buying it so don’t fight.’’ She found herself being bold, deep down Y/N didn’t want him to fight and get hurt, he had a pretty face and she wanted it to stay like that. ‘’Yes ma’am!’’ Bucky said respectfully, if it meant that getting into trouble and getting few bruises would make her open up to him then he was planning to hire some men to beat him so that he could come back to her with an excuse. Y/N chuckled at his response, ‘’Good night.’’ She said as he was walking out, ‘’Night.’’ He replied and left the store.
Bucky walked to the empty alley he parked his bike and leaned on it, after their small interaction he wasn’t going to go home, home could wait. He was going to wait like he did last time, make sure she got home safe and then he was going to get back to Alpine and rest. He observed the small kit, she just touched that and now he was holding it, in his large hands, he could feel his cold heart beat faster, this was the first object that Y/N had touched and he got to keep it to himself. His distorted and dark mind wanted more but he calmed himself, they had plenty of time for that.
When her shift ended Bucky had been waiting in the dark alley for hours but his body didn’t feel any exhaustion, not when it come to her anyways. He got onto his bike and kept a safe distance, he made sure to wear his helmet, he didn’t want her to see him and be scared of him. She looked so fragile, helpless, and vulnerable and so.. so perfect.
Once she reached her building Bucky exhaled deeply, she was at home, he could go back to his.
Y/N opened the door slowly, it was locked which meant she didn’t have to be silent, on edge.. he wasn’t at home. She walked inside, closed the door behind her and leaned on it, exhaled deeply. She didn’t know when Leo would come back and honestly she didn’t care much. Her weary mind was reliving what happened on her late night shift, after not seeing the Rose Guy for a week he showed all bruised, from the beginning he looked like he had a dangerous life but she never thought she would see him like this. He was a scary man but the way he obeyed her tonight surprised her, she said follow he followed, she said sit and he sat… Y/N was so tired that she slowly sat on the floor, she couldn’t stop thinking of him, how he was calm, how his blue eyes looked at her.
Chapter 5
Notes:
Hey! I love writing this I hope you like it too. Don't forget to check out the Spotify Playlist
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=Keau90t1QGGfgolgh3gj_g
Chapter Text
‘’How was your getaway with Leo?’’ Melanie asked cheerfully, her blond hair smelled like cotton candy, she had a bright smile, she was a college student, even though her family paid for everything she wanted to have a job and she was working just because she was bored, a choice Y/N was never presented to. ‘’It was calm. How was your weekend?’’ she asked to averted the topic from herself, how could she lie and give details when Leo was a no show for 4 days. 4 days of peace for Y/N. Melanie started to tell her everything about the party she went to, the clubs etc. She was living the American college life and it made Y/N happy to see her friend smile and be in the moment, experiencing life to the fullest. Actually, Y/N got accepted to the NYU but couldn’t go due to the financial problems and Leo, she secretly wished she could study one day, maybe once Leo’s debt is paid she could go to NYU… what a dream. ‘’Gosh I need coffee so bad.’’ Melanie got her purse, ‘’Want one?’’ there was a café shop near to the flower shop, ‘’No, thank you.’’ Y/N was changing the water of the flowers that they use to make the bouquets, ‘’I’ll be back in a bit.’’ And she left, but soon the door opened again so Y/N thought that it was Melanie forgetting something so she didn’t look up, however, once she heard a man clearing his throat she looked up, it was him. Standing in his black clothes, his bruises healed,
(https://open.spotify.com/intl-tr/track/1oAwsWBovWRIp7qLMGPIet?si=8880b5fa44404713)
(this is the song I was listening to on the playlist I’ve made. Don’t forget to check it out 😊)
‘’Hello.’’ He greeted with a gruff voice and stoic expression, ‘’Hi.’’ She replied with a soft smile, glad to see his bruises healed. ‘’A bouquet of red roses, right?’’ she asked, he only nodded. This time there was a strange electricity between them, or maybe Y/N was going crazy. Bucky hesitated to go in, he waited outside of the flower shop for an hour and once she saw the blonde girl leave it was his cue, his heavy boots dragged him inside and there she was in a simple t-shirt and jeans and yet she looked perfect, her skin pure and soft, she had a focused look on her face as she was changing the vases, adding water, Bucky could watch her for hours but he didn’t want the other girl to interrupt them so he cleared his throat to get her attention, she looked up with those eyes and Bucky approached, the inside as usual smelled fresh and sweet, something he found he could get used to. Ever since he first saw her whenever he saw flowers he remembered her, well… Y/N had made a place for herself in his dark mind already, Bucky didn’t need any reminder to remember her during the day since his mind utterly and completely occupied by this sweet and oblivious woman. She picked up the red roses, getting them ready for the bouquet, ‘’Your bruises healed.’’ She commented and regretted it in the exact second, what was it to her anyway? Why did she care?
‘’I had a pretty woman looking after me.’’ Bucky said never leaving his blue eyes on her, his remark made her stop for a split second, she had a smirk on her lips, so he found her pretty… interesting. It was so subtle that if Melanie was there she wouldn’t be able to understand who was the ‘’pretty woman’’, it had been a while since someone called Y/N ‘’pretty’’ and she liked the feeling. ‘’I’m sure she wouldn’t want to see you like that again.’’
‘’Yes, she was clear on that. Very bossy I might add.’’ He replied cockily, his gloved hands on the marble desk by the register, leaning slightly, ‘’Maybe you need a bossy woman in your life. Seems like that’s how you learn things.’’ Y/N couldn’t believe how chatty she was in this moment, after patching him up maybe they had gotten a bit closer, even though she didn’t know his name, age, anything really. Bucky, usually a stoic man had a smile on his face, she saw it when she gave him a quick gaze, it surprised her actually to see him relaxed and with a smile. He looked like a serious man from the outside, if she knew how subservient he could be for her… she would be in shock, Bucky knew, he knew himself and he could already imagine himself on his knees, getting orders from her, doing everything she asked, she didn’t need to even ask for things, he could just sense and make them happen. His azure eyes were intense so she made sure her eyes were focused on the bouquet, Y/N still didn’t have any idea who these roses go to but she was too afraid to ask. Sometimes ignorance was a bliss and she relied on that. ‘’All done.’’ Y/N finished and smiled brightly, proud of her work, she loved creating things. He gave her the money, she gladly accepted and placed it on the cash register, there was a pause on both of their sides, neither of them said anything like; ‘’have a great day’’ or ‘’thank you…’’ soon Bucky cleared his throat, her eyes were like a labyrinth, the hand he was holding the roses squeezed the bouquet before speaking, ‘’Bucky…’’ he found himself revealing his name, he shrugged a shoulder, ‘’I don’t know, thought you might wanna know the name of the guy you patched up.’’ He added nonchalantly, Y/N extended her hand, ‘’Y/N, nice to meet you Bucky.’’ He accepted her soft hand, his large, gloved and calloused hand wrapped her small one, he swore his cold heart was warming up, of course he knew her name, last name, her jobs and home address but her name coming from her meant that she acknowledged him fully. He wasn’t just a random customer anymore, he was someone she knew his name. If it wasn’t for the golden door bells maybe they would’ve stood there, hand in hand but the sound made them pull away, it was Melanie, ‘’I know you didn’t want one but I got you anyways-‘’ she paused when she saw the ‘’Rose Guy’’ he only nodded at Y/N and left without a word, ‘’He is back?!’’ she sounded excited, ‘’I guess he is.’’ Y/N replied shortly, turned her back so that Melanie couldn’t see the expression on her face, ‘’Lucky us!’’ Melanie placed the cups on a near table, she seemed clueless so Y/N exhaled deeply. Was she creating things on her mind or was it plain obvious that he was interested in her? He also found her second job… what a coincidence , she thought and got back to work.
Bucky rode his bike back to his building, the conversation they had was running in his mind, he prayed he didn’t make a fool of himself. Riding his bike gave him a certain peace, feeling the wind and adrenalin was helping him focus on the road and his destination. Once he parked his shiny Harley he marched into the building and climbed up the stairs, gave Mrs. Rodriguez her surprise bouquet of red roses, which wasn’t a surprise anymore since he started this routine with her and every time her brown eyes lit up and it was worth every penny. ‘’Such a gentleman!’’ she gave his cheek a motherly squeeze.
When he got back to his flat he sat on the couch, exhaled deeply and took off his gloves to rub his face, his fear was that one day Y/N learning that he was the Winter Soldier and this could ruin everything. That’s why he didn’t give his name and last name, he only said Bucky, hoping she wouldn’t understand and it looked like she had no idea. He opened his laptop to check up on her social media, on her stories she had shared the flower shop, he sighed, anyone like Bucky could find her so easily and it made him feel more protective of her. Now he also had to protect her from people like him, a former HYDRA assassin being obsessed with a pretty woman wasn’t uncommon. He shut off the laptop and kind of threw it back on the coffee table, ‘’She is careless Alpine.’’ He complained to his cat as Alpine climbed on his lap, ‘’We have to change that.’’
After her job at the flower shop Y/N walked to her second job, the weather was fine, her mind was occupied by the ‘’Rose Guy’’ as Melanie called him. Y/N contemplated on whether or not she should tell Melanie his name but she wanted to hold onto that information. She felt as if it should only belong to her and no one else. ‘’Bucky..’’ as she walked she whispered his name and instantly covered her mouth with her hand, what was she doing? Whispering another man’s name while she had a boyfriend? She looked around to see if anyone heard her but people were passing her by, occupied by their own lives. She sighed in relief, she felt guilt as she walked inside the store for her night shift, even though Leo was nowhere to be found they were still together, they were still in this relationship.
Bucky heated some pizza slices in his microwave for dinner and then dressed up in his usual black attire, it was getting late and his secret hobby waited him, what a beautiful hobby. He petted Alpine’s head, ‘’See you soon Alpine.’’ And the cat meowed back at him, he locked his door and walked towards the stairs, he saw a young boy sitting on the top, reading something, it looked like an old book, worn out, the boy was his upstairs neighbor’s kid, his name was Steve, which obviously reminded him of his childhood best friend, the infamous Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. The real Steve was in an elderly care right now, last time Bucky visited him Steve didn’t remember him at first, he had severe dementia, Bucky found himself getting angry at Steve so many times, he choose to get old and die instead of being with Bucky, just like the old days but also knew that nothing was like the old days anymore. They were both changed men who had faced the horrors of life, Steve Rogers just wanted to go down easily, of course Bucky was old, he was 106 but didn’t look like it and his aging process was slower than a normal human but he was also going to age, he just had still so many years ahead and his only hope was to spend those years with Steve, now that he was a healed man but fate had its own webs, separating them. ‘’What’s up Steve?’’ he asked and sat next to him, sighing heavily, once the kid looked up from his book Bucky saw a bruise on his cheek and his blood boiled. ‘’Reading.’’ He said with a shaky voice, his blue eyes were just like his best friend, and then they heard the fight his parents were having upstairs. ‘’You hungry?’’ he had noticed over the months that the parents of him had been neglecting the kid. Bucky sometimes gave him cash or bought him lunch to bring to the school. Steve shook his head as no but Bucky knew he was lying, ‘’I was heading to a store to get Alpine a treat, wanna join me?’’ Steve knew Bucky’s cat and sometimes he let Steve come in and play with her, Bucky also knew how much Steve liked to be on a bike. ‘’I have to ask my parents.’’ He said lowering his head, clearly not wanting to head upstairs to ask since the fight was going on still. ‘’I’ll ask them. Just wait here.’’ He bolted to his feet and climbed upstairs, he knocked on the door and the shouting stopped for a second, the man of the house answered. Bucky and John casually greeted each other on the hallways, John usually stalled him, talking about the latest games etc. ‘’Hey!’’ John put on a smile on his face, Bucky could see his wife standing behind, heaving deeply. ‘’I’m sorry about the shouting man, you know how women are, right?!’’ he was a disgusting man with a beer stained grey shirt and dirty pants. His beard was long and he looked sweating, he had green eyes that reminded Bucky a snake. ‘’I’m heading out to the store and I know how much Steve likes my bike.’’ He began, ‘’If it’s okay I can take him with me while you guys…’’ his eyes found the woman and the environment around her, there was a broken vase on the floor, empty. John wasn’t a guy who would get his wife flowers anyways, ‘’sort things out.’’ He finished, his blue eyes landing on John Smith.
The middle aged man shrugged his shoulders, ‘’Sounds like a plan. Uh..’’ he got closer to him, his breath smelling booze and Bucky had to turn his hands into fists his fingers digging inside his palms to prevent himself punching the guy. ‘’keep him busy will ya?’’ and he winked, he clearly had some plans with his wife after a fight, Bucky only nodded and turned his back, headed back to Steve. ‘’It’s your lucky day kid. Let’s go!’’ it wasn’t easy to be cheerful to a kid whose parents fight and fuck each other all the time, however, Steve’s bright smile made Bucky also smile genuinely.
Chapter 6
Summary:
This is the playlist I created for the series. Enjoy xxx
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=s527COWBTSqc8MEjaZkvHg
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bucky made the kid wear the helmet, and together they rode to 24/7 open shop, Y/N’s second job. He didn’t want to look like a predator and also didn’t want to be an asshole but he had a good excuse now. Helping the kid getting something to eat, and keeping him company was something he wanted to do and also seeing her was a cherry on top. He only wished that Steve one day would grow up to be a nice gentleman. Once he parked the bike on the same spot he removed the helmet from the kid and helped him get off, ‘’You’re going to meet a friend of mine so be nice. She is very important to me.’’ He warned playfully and nudged him, Steve chuckled and made fun of Bucky, all he did was roll his eyes. ‘’Alright alright. Let’s go.’’
The doors opened and they walked inside the store, the fluorescent lights welcomed them first and then he watched her get up from the most likely uncomfortable chair and smile at them. Bucky could see the questioning in her eyes, ‘’Hey Steve, this is Y/N.’’ his hand was on the kid’s shoulder, they approached to the desk. ‘’Hello Steve.’’ She extended her hand to the kid, even though she looked tired Bucky could see the shine in her eyes, it was rare and he was happy to experience it. ‘’Nice to meet you ma’am.’’ Steve said as Bucky thought him once, he always told Steve to address women who were older than him as ‘’ma’am’’ even though this was modern times it was obvious that Bucky was a nostalgic man with seeking interactions from his past. Y/N couldn’t help but chuckle, ‘’Nice to meet you too little man.’’ She replied with a sweet voice that Bucky wanted to record and listen to it later. ‘’Steve, why don’t you skim the aisles and find something to eat, and pick a treat for Alpine?!’’ Bucky told the kid and he just nodded and left them alone. Bucky turned back to Y/N, ‘’Alpine?’’ she asked rather curiously, ‘’My cat.’’ Bucky responded shortly. There was a pause between them, she sat back down, ‘’He seems like a nice boy.’’ She commented to get a reaction out of him, was Steve his child? His nephew? Because she had noticed the bruise on the kid’s face and she wasn’t happy about it, and the only reason she kept her calm was to not make the child uncomfortable. She knew how it could be once the wounds are recognized by a pair of peculiar eyes.
Bucky immediately picked up on that, ‘’Yeah he is, he is uh.. my neighbor’s kid. Brought him here so that he could have some break from his parents fighting.’’ He had to explain to make it clear. Y/N couldn’t believe her ears, every time she had given up on humanity someone or something would prove her otherwise and this time Bucky, the stranger she had met few weeks ago was bringing his neighbor’s kid to the store so that the kid would be away from the trauma for a while. She had this sudden urge to jump from the counter and hug him, thank him for looking out for someone without expecting anything in return. She had to put her body’s pressure on her heels so that she wouldn’t do that, ‘’That’s kind of you to look out for him.’’ She commented, her eyes on his blue ones, so easy to get lost in them so she busied herself with something on the counter. Bucky only shrugged his shoulder, didn’t know how to respond when someone, especially her made a sweet comment about something he did. They stood there in silence, before Bucky could ask or say anything a group of young men entered and Bucky stepped aside to watch to be honest… glare.
They were a group of four and in their mid 20s, probably college students. Bucky observed them and the way Y/N greeted them, she like always she had a smile but it was small and hollow not like the ones she gave him which made his chest and pants feel tighter than usual. The three of the men went to get whatever they wanted but one of them stayed to chat with her, Bucky’s hands were in the pockets of his pants, he was leaning against the near wall, glaring holes at the back of the man’s body.
‘’So… do you always work here beautiful?’’ he dared to ask her a question, he wasn’t a skinny man but not beefy either, he had golden locks and a charming smile, he was leaning slightly on the counter, ‘’Yes.’’ She replied nonchalantly, ‘’I should come here more often then.’’ The scumbag was about to lose his vocal chords if he kept talking at her like that and Bucky was happy to do it with his bare hand. ‘’Everyone is welcomed here to shop.’’ Y/N was keeping herself busy on the counter, she had always experienced something like that so it was normal to her but with a quick glance she saw the was Bucky’s crystal blue eyes turning dark, his lips were a flat line and he looked like if she gave him the word he would jump at the guy, she felt powerful in a way but maybe she was imagining things, maybe Bucky was just waiting for Steve to finish shopping. She didn’t want to get ahead of herself, every time she did that she was disappointed to her bones. The blonde guy’s friends came with snacks and packs of beer, Y/N scanned them and then one of them paid, ‘’See ya later!’’ the blonde said with a wink, she didn’t say anything, only gave him an empty smile and thankfully the group left, Bucky pushed himself from the wall he was leaning on, he approached, his boots were heavy on the white floors. ‘’Does this happen often?’’ of course it did, with a pretty face like that Bucky was surprised she wasn’t kidnapped, that thought gave him a nasty idea which he pushed away, he wanted things to be smooth and natural. Y/N shrugged her shoulders, ‘’I don’t mind, mostly they’re harmless.’’ She couldn’t face him, she couldn’t show that she was scared but she also felt somewhat safe with his presence. Bucky sighed in frustration, she had a ‘’boyfriend’’ who let her work for hours and deal with disrespectful and potentially dangerous men…. He wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her so hard that she would wake up from her trance but no, she had to come to him willingly. Soon Steve came with a sandwich, a juice box and a treat for Alpine. ‘’Finally found the one you like?’’ Y/N she asked as he scanned the items, ‘’Yeah, Bucky always gets me this one, it’s delicious.’’ It was true, Bucky would get that sandwich for him or give him the money to buy it as he went to school. ‘’Oh?’’ she looked at Bucky, ‘’Maybe I should try it, since you said it’s delicious.’’ Little Steve was oblivious to the chemistry between the adults so he was eager to eat his sandwich and drink his juice, Y/N got a pack of gums also but didn’t scan it, ‘’Here you go.’’ She gave the items to the little kid, ‘’I thought you might enjoy gums, it’s on me.’’ And she winked, ‘’No please-‘’ Bucky began but she silenced him, ‘’I want to, Bucky.’’ Her voice was soft and she was looking under those lashes, the way she said his name almost made him drop to his knees. ‘’Alright.’’ He raised his hands in defeat, ‘’Say thank you Steve.’’ Little kid was tearing the package of the sandwich, ‘’Thank you ma’am.’’ He said in hurry which made Y/N chuckle and Bucky liked the sound of it. ‘’How about giving me a hug?’’ Y/N asked Steve as she left the counter and came to stand before the duo, she knelt and gave him a hug, she liked children and in that moment she slightly hoped for a child but then she pulled her back to reality, Leo wasn’t interested in that, he never brought it up and when she did Leo would always say he wasn’t ready and would always bring out the negative aspects of having kids, she had given up on asking and talking about that topic long ago. ‘’See you around kid.’’ She got up and turned to Bucky who was watching the scene in awe, she was an angel and Y/N was slowly making him believe that there is still good in this world. ‘’See you around too… Bucky.’’ She addressed him, her hands on her hips, he was trying so hard to sound normal, ‘’Yeah, see you around.’’ Bucky said, his eyes boring into her soul deeply, ‘’Let’s go Steve.’’ He reluctantly announced and they left the shop together. Bucky rolled his eyes at little Steve’s comments and helped him on the bike, he rode back to the apartment, made sure Steve got inside safe and then he gave quickly gave the treat to Alpine who was happy to see him, he pet her head and told her that he had to go back and guard Y/N’s work place, like a bodyguard.
He parked at his regular place, leaned on the bike and watched. He could see her walking inside, carry stuff, label things, he wanted to just go inside and pull her out of there, what kind of a man would let his woman work at a place like this? Or even let his woman work at all? He didn’t care if he was perceived as a cave man, that’s what he believed in. He made a mental note that if that little boy in his 20s ever came here again he was going to find his address and maybe pay a visit. He didn’t want to kill anyone but if it ever got to it then… he wouldn’t mind it since his intention would be protecting her. His blue eyes were scanning the area also, his super soldier mind calculating the fire escape route, or places to hide. A stray cat jumped from the trashcan near him and rubbed itself on his boots, he knelt down to pet the cat, it was black, long fur, it looked like a hybrid of Maine Coon. It looked the opposite of Alpine, Bucky’s cat Alpine was white as snow and this one was as black as coal. Stray animals have always been approaching him so he was used to it. Soon the cat left him, crossed the street and marched to the shop Y/N was working at, he checked his watch, her shift was over and then he looked at the shop’s door and there she was, out and feeding the black cat. So she was also a cat person like him, to find a common interest between them was a delight to him, Bucky thrived on that thought. Maybe she also wanted a cat but didn’t have the budget, or her ‘’boyfriend’’ didn’t want an animal in the house.. he rolled his eyes on that thought.
From the dark alley he was unseen by her so it gave him a comfort and a certain luxury to watch her, once she was done petting the animal she started to walk and that was his cue. He wore his helmet, got onto his bike and waited a little so that she wouldn’t be able to hear the engine, later he started to follow her like a shadow. Her routine was simple, she was going home and he knew. The city was getting louder and louder by the time sun rose to its rightful place. Bucky saw her stop for a second and looking up at her building, what was she thinking? And then with a defeat she lowered her head and walked inside. Bucky’s job was done for today.
Till next Monday Bucky couldn’t make his presence known, it would be too obvious so he lurked behind the shadows, leaned on the corners and watched her from afar. He was getting a coffee from that café closer to the flower shop, hanging around for few hours and then when it was evening he was in that same alley, leaning on his bike and making sure she had nice customers shopping there.
For Y/N the only nice day she had was when Bucky and his neighbor’s child came to the shop she was working because Leo was back at home, little happiness she had with her new acquaintances was gone and replaced with constant stress and feeling of threat. Whenever Leo took off and came back he would be in a very bad mood so they would argue a lot, she knew how to speak without provoking him but sometimes something would slip from her lips, a remark or a sarcastic comment and then she would be in danger. Tonight was one of those nights, it was Sunday and she was getting ready to sleep, Leo was drinking in the living room and she asked him to not leave any empty beer bottles on the floor because she had cut her feet early this morning, thankfully she had bandages at home but she was limping, it wasn’t going to be easy walking to her jobs for a few days. Leo, with a rush bolted to his feet and then started screaming, it was unintelligible but it was about something ’’I can do whatever I want! I live here!’’ etc. She tried to calm him down but he was getting worse and she said ‘’This isn’t your home!’’ it was true, it was her little home where she was happy and content until he came. That comment was the reason why Leo grabbed her by her throat and smashed her to the nearest wall. She was struggling for air, her hands trying to push Leo away from her but it was in vain, he was much taller and stronger than her. Soon Leo came to his senses, maybe he realized that he needed her even though she didn’t need him at all. Once she could breath normally she saw Leo walking back to the couch and finishing his beer, she slowly walked back to her bedroom and locked the door.
The next morning, Y/N had to wake up earlier than usual because she was limping and that was slowing her down. She got dressed, wore her blue jeans and a simple shirt, got her bag and left the apartment without a single sound, Leo was on the couch, snoring so she didn’t make him breakfast. On the way to the flower shop she had only one thing in her mind, Bucky. Was he going to come? Every Monday he came to purchase red roses, suddenly she wanted to hide, she wasn’t feeling well so she didn’t want to face him, his deep blue eyes seemed like they knew things about her that she didn’t even know. Maybe she could pass the rose order to Melanie, she would be very happy to attend him… and with that thought she had a bitter taste in her mouth. She didn’t like the idea. Y/N started working as soon as she arrived, so many orders to handle, Melanie was a bit late but Y/N wasn’t going to say anything to their boss, she was a university student and probably had her assignments and finals draining her. ‘’Oh my God! What happened to your neck?!’’ Melanie froze as soon as she saw, in that moment Y/N cursed herself for forgetting to cover it with something, he hand instinctively went to her neck, ‘’It’s nothing..’’ she had to find something to change the subject and thankfully a customer entered.
Throughout the day Y/N avoided Melanie, she kept herself busy and attended the customers, of course Melanie noticed her limping, she wanted to ask but she also felt like Y/N didn’t want to talk about it. She dropped the topic for now. On their lunch break Y/N insisted on going to get some sandwiches but Melanie didn’t let her, she was limping so Melanie got her purse and just waltzed out of the flower shop in her long dress and wavy blonde hair, she was beautiful and Y/N noticed how the heads turned every time she entered a room, she looked healthy and happy which were the opposite of Y/N at the moment… and for a long time. Y/N sighed heavily and then jumped on the counter, waiting for Melanie, before she could react to what was happening it was too late because he had walked in.
Notes:
Thank you so much for the patience. Hope you like it. See you on the next one folks!
Chapter 7
Notes:
Hi! Here is the playlist to listen as you read this new chapter! Don't forget to share your thoughts with me. xx
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=KKtF_25dS-u4Ou5yw0f85A
Chapter Text
Y/N felt like everything happened in a second and also in thousands of years, she couldn’t make sense of it all but Bucky was there, by the door of the flower shop and she was sitting on the counter waiting for Melanie to come back with takeout lunch. Bucky had woken up early today because it was rose day, so he could just go and talk to her instead of stalking her, of course he loved being her shadow but he also craved to hear her voice, see her smile. He even had breakfast, he usually had microwaved stuff to eat but today he went to get breakfast, a big American style, and then came back to his apartment, took a shower, shaved and got dressed. He wore his usual black clothes with leather gloves and combat boots, he got onto his Harley and hit the engine, he wasn’t prepared to see her in a state like this at all. His blue eyes immediately found her throat and saw the bruises, he could feel his blood boiling, he clenched his fists, with that strength he was sure he was going to break his metal fist, Y/N jumped to her feet, hissed in pain and limped her way back to behind the counter ‘’Red roses right?’’ she asked not looking at him at all and got to working, her hands quicker than normal. Bucky walked up to the counter, he could hear himself breathing heavier to control his anger, why wasn’t she looking at him? Bucky had to treat this situation very delicately, he didn’t desire to upset or scare her but he had to be sure of how she ended in this limping and bruised situation, he had a guess.
‘’Y/N..’’ he whispered her name, desperate for her to look at him. However, she didn’t budge at all. She was embarrassed even though she shouldn’t be, nothing was her fault. ‘’Y/N?’’ He asked again, his gloved hands on the counter, ‘’Who?!’’ now his voice was stern, his blue eyes were on her, trying to see a clue, something on her face… He couldn’t believe how she was quick making that bouquet, ‘’Give me a name!’’ he demanded but she was still silent. James Buchanan Barnes Jr was having an arduous amount of time not to lash out and get the name out of her pretty mouth, dark and twisted parts of his mind were coming to surface, like zombies after smelling fresh meat to devour. He was getting more and more impatient when she was a solid statue before him, only focused on one thing. Y/N’s mind went off on tangent, she didn’t want to talk about what Leo was putting her through but to only do her job at the moment. ’’Here, all done.’’ She placed the bouquet between his hands which were resting on the counter, his eyes on hers, and this was the first moment she faced him, he positively looked like a hell hound, ready to cause destruction. Again she felt that she had some kind of a power over him, he looked like he was ready to kill anyone for her and it both scared and intoxicated her. She had never felt his before, in her relationship dynamics she was the one who did everything for the man, aka Leo. Cared for him, paid his debts (still paying), healed his wounds and here Bucky was, standing still and glaring with his icy blue eyes, ready to sprint as soon as she said the name of her abuser. She could feel herself getting emotional, it was all too much, he was just so close even though there was the counter between them, Y/N could smell his manly cologne, his after shave. One could see the outlines of his upper arms, he must have very big biceps…
‘’Bucky…’’ she whispered and her voice was shaky and in that moment Bucky was about to lose it, she lowered her head, trying to hide the tears that were forming at the ends of her eyes, in her blurry vision she saw his gloved hand reaching for her chin, it felt like she was imagining it, why would a stranger whom she met few weeks ago would try to console her, before he could make contact she pulled away, ‘’I can’t…’’ said with a shaky voice and headed to the back room limping with her injured leg. Bucky cursed under his breath, was he being too much? He had a custom to put the blame on himself any chance he got. He got the flowers and placed the money on the counter and as he was about to leave he almost crushed Melanie, ‘’Oh, sorry..’’ Melanie said, looking startled, ‘’Where is Y/N?’’ but Bucky didn’t reply, just left the flower shop in haste, shutting the door of the shop rather harsher than intended. Melanie was stunned, what was going on? Did they have an altercation? Unlikely because Melanie knew Y/N, she would never pick a fight with a customer, even though some deserved it.
Bucky hopped onto his bike and rode it to his building, he didn’t know how many traffic rules he had crossed and he was sure that it was going to attract the U.S Government’s attention. Once he reached Mrs. Rodriguez’s door he handed the roses which the woman gladly accepted, made small conversation and smiled genuinely, all Bucky could do was to listen, nod and give short answers and then he was free to march to his own floor. As soon as he got into his flat he shut the door behind and sat on his dark couch, his hands were shaking in primal anger. Alpine immediately jumped on his lap, Bucky knew that cats could sense negative emotions and try to help their owners by reducing them, he pet his cat as he exhaled and inhaled deeply, he even did the shitty breathing technique his therapist thought him… speaking of the devil he had to arrange a meeting with her, otherwise the US Government would literally come to his door, pick him up and taking him there so instead of that he got his phone and called his Doc, made an appointment for today, in a few hours he was going to meet his personal hell.
On the other hand Y/N pretended like nothing happened between her and the ‘’Rose Guy’’ even though Melanie asked few questions she brushed them off and ate her lunch. Y/N still didn’t tell Melanie the name of the Rose Guy and she wanted to keep that information all to herself, didn’t know why though. Other than the intense encounter with Bucky she had a calm day at the shop, making bouquets, changing the water in the vases, cutting the leaves on the roses, she let Melanie clean today even though Y/N was a crazy controlling freak when it came to cleaning but with her limping leg it wouldn’t be ideal to do the cleaning. As her day went calmly Bucky’s day was getting worse, he was sitting on the couch opposite of his shrink. She had chic but casual clothing as usual, she had her leather covered notebook on her lap and holding her pen. ‘’It’s been a month James, how have you been?’’
Bucky was confused at first, has it really been a month? Then he remembered, he had been on a mission in this month and also he had a interest, stalking the girl he liked, as soon as he remembered Y/N a sudden darkness shadowed his blue eyes which didn’t go unnoticed by the Doc, ‘’What’s wrong?’’ she immediately asked, ‘’Nothing.’’ He replied quicker and it gave it away, ‘’We both know that’s a lie, James.’’ She opened her notebook, ‘’Okay, okay… don’t write. You know how what happens.’’
‘’You seem a little off today, did something happen recently?’’ she didn’t write on her notebook but asked again, her voice irritated Bucky most of the time. ‘’I, uh..’’ he began, ‘’I hope you didn’t do anything illegal…’’ she seemed concerned since Bucky was hesitant to speak, ‘’Let’s remember the rules shall we? Rule number one, no illegal business.’’ She started, Bucky knew the rules, ‘’I was on a mission which the Government had sent me so, no illegal business.’’ He defended himself, of course he wasn’t going to tell the Doc that he had been stalking a young woman for a month, ‘’Rule number two?’’ she asked to make sure Bucky remembered them, ‘’What was rule number two?’’ he pretended like he didn’t remember, ‘’Nobody gets hurt, it’s a big one.’’ She was annoyed but had to be calm, ‘’Then why isn’t it rule number one?’’ he passive aggressively clapped back, suddenly he had a vision of Y/N with that bruise and limping… she got hurt and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He hated himself for it. ‘’I didn’t hurt anybody. Neither during the mission or in my civilian life.’’ He felt like he should clarify. ‘’Then what’s the problem?’’ she asked directly again.
‘’I saw someone… who got hurt and..’’ he had to be extremely careful here, one wrong word and they would discover who he was talking about and maybe do something to her or use her against him, like HYDRA. Damn, he trusted no one.
She kept her silence so that he would finish his sentence, ‘’and I wasn’t there to protect them. That made me almost lash out.’’ He explained simply, Doc was surprised to hear it, ‘’Is this person someone I know?’’ she was referring to Sam, ‘’No.’’
‘’Okay, so you’re making friends. Glad you listened to me.’’ She was very pleased with Bucky, even though he had given her a vague explanation about his problem, ‘’And you also realized the emotion you felt and controlled it, I assume?’’
‘’I almost slipped but controlled it, thanks to my cat.’’ Doc knew he had a cat. ‘’I’m glad Alpine was there to comfort you, you should keep connecting with nature and animals to balance your emotions.’’
There was a pause and then she asked, ‘’How did you meet this friend?’’ of course she was going to ask, ‘’At their work place.’’ He wasn’t going to give the gender and the occupation of hers. Doc didn’t want to push it, it was obvious that he still had trust issues and it was going to take years for him to break that pattern. She checked her watch, ‘’I believe our session has come to an end, see you soon James.’’ She had a slight, satisfied smile, she felt victorious and it felt good.
Bucky left the session with the same feelings he had before he entered,
Rage
Annoyance
Blood thirst
The last one was onerous to control, the little peace he had in Wakanda and the healing he managed to accept was on a thin ice, he wanted to drink to numb himself but thanks to the super soldier serum running in his veins he couldn’t get drunk, maybe tipsy but that meant he needed to spend a fortune on the liquid. Even though he felt like he was lost his mind and body knew where to go, he mounted his Harley and he found himself in the same alley that was looking at Y/N’s second job.
It was getting late and as calm as he could be, Bucky leaned on his bike and lit a cigarette, he wasn’t a smoker normally but today wasn’t normal and he had a pack just in case if he was feeling stress or feeling down. As the sky turned into dark blue he had finished the pack of cigarettes, and as he was smoking the last one he saw her, limping her way inside the store. Seeing her like that evoke the fire in him, he had to do something but do it discreetly, he already had made her scared earlier today by questioning her so he had to take care of the problem she was having which meant that he was also having that problem… her ‘’boyfriend’’ he knew deep in his soul that it was that guy, of course he had done his research, Leo Moore. They have been together since high school and recently he had moved in with her, but why recently? Bucky couldn’t find and health insurance on the guy or work records, if he was working than it meant illegally but he guessed that he wasn’t working, he was good at reading people and he knew that Leo was using her. He had to go, disappear and never come back. He was hurting her and hindering her from grater things in this life, like a better job, or a loving and protective boyfriend…
He inhaled the smoke and it burnt his insides for a second and then the feeling was gone, he threw the bud on the floor and pressed on it with his heavy boot. Leo Moore’s days were counted.
Chapter 8
Notes:
Hi loves! I'm here with another fic. Enjoy.
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=Gm472RojQ-a5ZOrotr84MQ
Chapter Text
The golden boy, Leo Moore was with his buddies, drinking at an underground club where New York’s most dangerous gang leaders holding gambling nights, the guy he owed money to was a no show so that’s why Leo allowed himself to mingle and hang out with his friends. ‘’Hey Leo! My man!’’ he heard a familiar voice calling his name and he turned to face the owner of the voice, his old friend Tommy was coming from the door, the smoke inside didn’t make it easy to see, the walls were dark green, it was a crowded night, gamblers, drug dealers and just young men and women looking for trouble, ‘’Hey man!’’ Leo greeted him and Tommy sat next to him on the bar stool, the tables were occupied and in order to get a table you needed to be somebody, Leo was a nobody and it frustrated him all the time. ‘’You got some balls coming here man.’’ Tommy said and ordered two beers, Leo was smirking, he liked being acknowledged like that, ‘’What do you mean?’’ he asked anyways, Tommy, with his dark brown eyes searched the underground club and then his eyes found his buddy, ‘’What if Baron were here.. or any of his man?’’ he lowered his voice, even uttering the Baron’s name could get them in trouble. Baron Wolfgang von Strucker was an underground leader of gun trade, drugs etc. He was the one whom Leo owed money to, a vicious leader who would do anything to get what he desired, money that Leo owed him was a lot but thanks to Y/N they have been saving to pay the Baron but he was getting impatient, Leo was stalling him, that’s why he left his home, changed address and now living with Y/N. ‘’You know me Tommy boy,’’ he took a slug from his beer, ‘’I’m always lucky.’’
Bucky, who was sitting closer to them buy the bar had witnessed their entire conversation, he knew who the Baron was, he was a HYDRA commander back in Serbia and disappeared after the HYDRA fell, he knew Baron was alive and somewhere but he had no idea that they were in the same city. Bucky’s gaze fell on Leo and his buddy Tommy, they were talking about underground business, women in a derogatory way and sports. Bucky was about to leave, he got the info he needed but he was nailed to his stool when he heard Y/N’s name mentioned, his ears pricked like a loyal dog.
Tommy took a sip of his drink, eyes scanning the crowd casually, ‘’How are things with your woman?’’ he asked, his face showed no emotions, was he just making conversation or was there something else? When he said ‘’your woman’’ Bucky wanted to just jump at them but he couldn’t afford being discovered here, the government would ask questions to get to the bottom of what retired Winter Soldier was doing at an underground club. Leo shrugged his shoulders and gave a low, careless chuckle, he wasn’t even looking up from his empty beer glass, ‘’Still breathing, so fine I guess.’’ Bucky’s jaw tightened with that comment. Leo leaned back in his seat, tossing a peanut into his mouth like it was the most boring he had been asked all night. ‘’You know she is moody, mouthy. I’ve got her handled though.’’ Tommy raised an eyebrow, ‘’Handled?’’
Leo was grinning darkly, tapping his knuckles on the table. ‘’Let’s just say she knows better than to cross me these days.’’
Bucky’s grip on his glass tightened until it cracked. His blood ran cold, not from fear but rage.
Still breathing. Handled. The words echoed, sour and sharp, in his ears.
The glass in his hand creaked under the pressure of his grip — his vibranium fingers flexed, the metal tense and unforgiving. He didn’t even realize he’d stopped breathing until his chest burned for air.
Handled.
There was a time when he’d been on the receiving end of that word. Controlled. Conditioned. Owned. He knew what it meant when a man said it like that — all smug and cold, like he was talking about a dog he could kick when it barked too loud. He didn’t know how long he stared at Leo. Just… stared. His blood was buzzing now — not with adrenaline, but fury. Old, familiar, and cold-blooded. The soldier in him wanted to act. Slip into the shadows, take Leo by the throat and drag him into the alley until his teeth rattled. Until he begged. Until he understood what it felt like to be afraid. To be powerless.
But Bucky couldn’t move.
Not yet.
Because Y/N was still in the middle of it. And if Bucky got himself exposed now, if he got arrested or detained or made a goddamn scene… there’d be no one left to get her out.
So instead, he swallowed the rage. Bit down on it so hard it tasted like iron. Let it simmer low in his gut, like a grenade waiting for the pin to be pulled.
And when Leo laughed again — that hollow, smug little sound — Bucky smiled to himself.
Not now.
But soon.
Bucky left the bar immediately, he mounted his Harley and rode back to his apartment to take a shower and let Alpine calm him.
On the other side of town Y/N’s night shift had come to an end and she was walking back to her apartment, she couldn’t call that place home anymore, it was just a place she stayed and had her few personal belongings, on the walk back to her place she was limping, it wasn’t so bad, most of her bruises had healed already only left the little limping, it was going to take a bit more time since she walked all the time. Until she reached to her door she had prayed that Leo was out and finally the Universe did her a solid, Leo was nowhere to be seen and once she walked inside and locked the door she smiled to herself. She opened the windows to let the fresh air in, she immediately started cleaning, she vacuumed the floors and wiped them, changed the sheets, washed the dishes, it helped her mentally to clean her space, before Leo started living with her this was her home so after she had finished everything she took a long, hot shower. The hot water gave her comfort, she felt embraced by the water like a mother’s gentle hug, it had been so long since she hugged someone. Before she knew it the tears escaped, she sat on the bathtub, hugged her arms and cried until she couldn’t and in that moment she wanted a man, not her boyfriend but Bucky to be the one to pick her up and carry her to her bed. She had wondered where his apartment was or was he single? All these questions swirled in her head until she got to her feet and wrapped herself in her towel.
The next morning she got up and sat on her bed to listen the apartment, it was silent. She sighed in relief and got ready for her work, she loved working at the flower shop, she loved being surrounded by fresh flowers, colorful vases, even though she never got one she loved making bouquets for people. It had been a week since their encounter and she had no more bruises, nothing to hide but she also didn’t want to face him. How were they suppose to go back to being somewhat friends now that he had seen her like that? Bruised and powerless…
She was grateful for Melanie, because the girl seemed concerned for Y/N but never made her uncomfortable by asking her about anything, Y/N knew that women understood each other more deeply than men and Melanie was ready to hear everything once Y/N was ready to tell but that wasn’t anytime soon.
The air inside the shop was cool and fragrant, early sunlight pouring through the windows, casting soft shadows across the rows of tulips, lavender, and marigolds. Y/N was wiping down the front counter, pretending not to be watching the door. But her heart was already sprinting ahead of her, thudding hard in her chest.
She had convinced herself he wouldn’t come. Not this time. Not after what he saw.But Bucky Barnes was a man of habit. Soldier through and through. And like clockwork, at exactly 10:00 a.m., the little bell above the door rang. She didn’t look up at first.Her hand froze on the damp cloth, chest tightening.
She knew that silence. The way the door clicked shut softly behind him. How he never said a word when he entered. He didn’t need to.She finally raised her eyes.
There he was.
His hair was tucked beneath a cap today, stubble shadowing his jaw, leather jacket slightly open to reveal a black henley that stretched across his chest. And those eyes — oceans of something unreadable — locked with hers the moment she looked.
Y/N’s mouth went dry.
Bucky stepped forward, slow, as if approaching a wounded animal. His hand slipped into his jacket pocket — familiar, routine — and he pulled out a few crumpled bills. “Red roses,” he said, his voice low. “A dozen.”
Like always. But everything had changed.
Y/N swallowed. Her hands trembled slightly as she moved to the refrigerated case to retrieve the flowers. The silence between them pulsed — thick, strained. She turned, bouquet in hand, and finally met his gaze fully. There was no avoiding it now.
“You still want the same ribbon?” she asked, trying for casual. Bucky didn’t answer right away.
His eyes dropped to her wrist and then her neck — the one she’d bruised badly t — now bare, healed, exposed. She didn’t wear long sleeves anymore. She didn’t need to.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Same ribbon.”
Y/N turned, tying the bow slowly, her fingers fumbling more than usual. She hated how awkward she felt. How exposed. She wasn’t sure if it was shame or something else — vulnerability, maybe. A part of her had wanted him to stay away forever.
But another part…
When she turned back, his eyes hadn’t left her.
“You okay?” he asked softly. His voice barely rose above the hum of the shop’s fridge, but it cut straight through her. Y/N’s throat tightened. She forced a nod. “I’m okay.” It was a lie. Not a dangerous one, but a tired one. A polite one. Bucky looked at her a moment longer. Then he set the money down on the counter, but didn’t take the roses. She blinked. “Aren’t you—”
“I didn’t come for the flowers today,” he said, his voice even lower now. “I came to see you.” Her breath caught.
“I wasn’t gonna push,” he added, glancing down briefly. “Didn’t wanna make things worse. But when I saw you last week…” He stopped, jaw tightening. “I didn’t sleep.”
Y/N felt her eyes sting, just for a second. “I didn’t want you to see me like that,” she whispered. “I didn’t want anyone to.”
“I didn’t see you as weak,” he said immediately, stepping closer now, but slowly, giving her the choice to back away. She didn’t.
“I saw someone surviving.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t know what to say.
“I saw someone getting through hell the only way they knew how,” Bucky continued. “And if you don’t want me around, I’ll go. (that was a damn lie and he knew. If she said that she didn’t want to see him again Bucky wasn’t going to anywhere, just lurking among the shadows, keeping an eye on her) But I want you to know—if you ever want out, I’m here. No questions. No judgment. Just… here.”
For a long, quiet beat, all she could do was stare at him.
Then she let out a breath. Shaky. Barely a whisper of a laugh escaped her, just from the absurdity of how much weight had been pressing on her chest until that exact second.
She stepped forward, slowly, and reached out — just enough to touch the roses.
“Then take the flowers, Bucky,” she said softly, meeting his eyes. “At least pretend it’s a normal Monday.”
He smiled. Just a little.
“Right,” he murmured. “A normal Monday.”
He took the bouquet. His fingers brushed hers. Her heart jumped. And for the first time in a long, long time, she didn’t feel so alone.
Bucky stood just outside the flower shop, bouquet in hand, the morning sun soft on his back as he debated whether to walk away or stay a second longer.
The glass door opened behind him with a soft creak.
“Hey,” Y/N’s voice called out.
He turned.
She was standing in the doorway, one hand lightly on the frame. Her apron was still tied loosely around her waist, and a little smudge of soil marked her cheek. She looked… calmer. Still tired, still guarded. But calmer.
“You forgot your receipt,” she said, holding up a small folded piece of paper.
He raised a brow. “You print receipts for regulars now?”
“No,” she admitted. “But you looked like you needed an excuse not to leave yet.”
That made him grin — a short, surprised huff of laughter. He walked back toward her, stopping just short of the threshold.
She held the paper out, but he didn’t take it. He just looked at her hand, then up at her eyes.
“Look,” he said, his voice gentler now. “I meant what I said. You ever want to talk, or get outta there for a while… hell, if you just want a place to sit that’s quiet — I got one.” He reached into his jacket pocket again, but this time it wasn’t money he pulled out. It was a small slip of paper, worn around the edges. “This is my address,” he said, holding it out. “You don’t have to use it. But I want you to have it. Just in case.”
Y/N stared at it like it might burn her fingers.
“I’m not trying to fix everything for you,” he continued. “I know you’ve been doing that yourself. But… I remember what it felt like to not have anywhere safe to go.” That last part lingered in the air between them. She took the paper slowly, fingertips brushing his. Bucky didn’t move. He didn’t push. Just stood there, solid as ever — a man offering shelter, not demands. She glanced down at the address, reading the street name silently. It wasn’t far. She could walk there. “Is that where Alpine lives, too?” she asked quietly, trying to ease the lump in her throat. His smile softened. “Yeah. She’s the real boss of the place.” Y/N tucked the paper into the pocket of her apron. “Thanks,” she said, barely above a whisper. Bucky nodded once. “No pressure.” Then he turned to go, but this time with no hesitation — not because he didn’t care, but because he’d already said what mattered. She stood in the doorway a few seconds longer, watching him walk down the street, the red bouquet still clutched in his hand. The little slip of paper felt heavier than it should’ve in her pocket. Not like a key… not yet. But maybe like a way out.
Or maybe, just maybe — a way forward.
Chapter 9
Notes:
Hi guys! This is the new chapter! Enjoy. Here is the playlist to listen to while reading; https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6ulf6sObDAMWPcXxYR48Q6?si=G704Fj5oRLesxxBhnwLQLA
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Y/N froze the second she stepped inside the apartment. It smelled like stale beer and cold rain. Leo was home. His shoes were by the door — wet from the storm — and his keys lay on the counter like a warning. She tried to move quietly, but his voice stopped her. "You're late." She turned. He was sitting on the couch, one arm draped over the back, a beer in his other hand. He didn’t look angry. That was worse. "Sorry. I stayed late to help Melanie with the weekend orders."
"Mm." He didn’t take his snake-like eyes off her. "You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Staying out. Smiling when you come home. It’s cute." She blinked, caught off guard. "It’s just work, Leo."
"Right." He stood slowly, walked toward her. His gaze swept over her — not in admiration, but like he was looking for cracks. "You clean the place?"
"Yeah."
"Looks good." He got close. Too close. "Smells like soap. Like you just showered." She clenched her jaw. "Is that a problem?" His smile twitched. "No. You just don’t usually care this much when I’m not here. Kinda makes a guy wonder."
"Wonder what?" She placed her bag on the floor, unzipped her coat that she had bought years ago and fixed it up whenever it needed fixing. He stepped forward, brushing a damp strand of hair from her face. She flinched. He noticed. "You seeing someone?" Her breath hitched. "What?"
"You dressing nice for work, coming home late, acting all… confident. You think I don’t notice?" His voice was rising now. "You think I’m some idiot who doesn’t see when his girl starts pulling away?"
"I’m not your girl," she snapped before she could stop herself. Their fights were usually about money problems, Leo’s drinking and gambling, and also her accusing him of seeing other girls. Not the other way around.
Everything stopped.
His face darkened like thunder.
"What did you just say?"
She stepped back. "You heard me."
"You ungrateful little—"
He lunged.
She barely dodged him in time, his hand grabbing for her wrist, catching the edge of her sweater. She shoved him back with all her strength, heart pounding.
"You’ve been walking around like you’re better than me," he growled. "Acting like I’m not good enough. Like I don’t own you."
"Don’t touch me," she hissed. He did anyway. He slammed her into the wall, forearm pressing against her collarbone, his body pinning hers in place. "You want to keep disrespecting me? Go ahead. Let’s see how far it gets you." She clawed at his arm, twisted, kneed him hard in the thigh — not enough to drop him, but enough to make him stagger back.
She didn’t wait. She grabbed her bag and ran.
[Later – Bucky’s Apartment]
The rain was coming down in sheets by the time she reached his building, sneakers soaked through, hair stuck to her face.
She didn’t even hesitate. She buzzed once. Then again. Then the door clicked, and she flew up the stairs, her hands trembling as she reached the top.
Bucky opened the door like he’d been waiting.
One look at her and his expression shattered — from calm to deadly in a second.
"Y/N—"
She didn’t speak. She just walked in.
He closed the door behind her without a word. And for a beat, all they did was look at each other — her chest rising and falling, his jaw tight, fists clenched. He was wearing a long sleeved hoodie so she didn’t see his metal arm, the inside was dim, he was just enjoying a peaceful night with his cat Alpine, he placed his metal armed hand into his pocket to hide it from her, it wasn’t time to reveal it.
"I had nowhere else to go," she said finally, voice cracking.
His reply was quiet. Controlled.
"You never needed a reason."
He took her bag, set it down gently with his free flesh hand, then looked into her eyes. His were burning — not with anger toward her, but fury barely leashed.
"Did he hurt you?"
She nodded.
"Again?"
Another nod.
That was all he needed. He stepped back, opened the door to the bathroom. "Go take a shower," he said. "Use anything you want. I’ll get you something dry." She hesitated. He reached out, brushing her soaked cheek with the back of his flesh hand. Y/N, for the first time in her life didn’t flinch. "You’re safe here, Y/N. I swear to you. No one’s gonna hurt you again." Bucky stepped back from her, voice still low. “There’s clean clothes in the basket — sweatpants and a hoodie. I left them on the floor, okay?” She nodded, eyes glassy but grateful. “I’ll be in the kitchen,” he added gently, giving her one last glance before closing the bathroom door behind him. He exhaled deeply, pressing his palms against the counter.
She was here.
She came to him.
That meant a hundred things all at once, and he couldn’t afford to process any of them yet. Not while her clothes were still clinging to her body, soaked through, and her hands were shaking like she was barely holding herself together.
He headed to the fridge, pulling it open with one hand — then frowned.
Empty.
Of course.
A near-empty bottle of hot sauce, two eggs he didn’t trust anymore, and a suspicious jar of something green sat inside like they were mocking him. He stared for a second longer, then shut it.
Fine.
Takeout.
He glanced toward the bathroom. The sound of the water was still going — soft, steady.
She needed space. And something warm. Something that wasn’t fear or adrenaline or heartbreak.
Bucky grabbed his keys off the counter, slipped on his leather jacket, and headed to the door. But before he left, he paused, pulled a sticky note from a drawer, and scribbled a quick message.
“Didn’t want to crowd you. Grabbed food. Back in 20. - B”
He left it on the kitchen counter — right where she’d see it.
Then, without another word, he was gone, the apartment falling quiet behind him.
The moment the door clicked shut behind him, it was like the air inside the bathroom thickened.
Y/N stood there, motionless, water dripping from the hem of her coat, her shoes leaving tiny puddles on the tile. Everything was silent except for the steady hum of the water running from the showerhead — Bucky must’ve turned it on for her. It was warm, fogging up the mirror. Gentle, like him.
She peeled off her coat slowly. Her fingers trembled, not from the cold anymore, but from everything else. The panic. The shock. The exhaustion. Her knees felt weak, untrustworthy.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the foggy mirror and had to look away. The ache in her ribs. The red marks on her wrists. Her cheek still burned faintly. Leo’s handprint had faded, but not the memory of it. She stepped out of her wet shoes, stripped out of her clothes in silence, then hesitated before stepping into the shower. The heat hit her like a wave. It stung her skin at first, too hot — but she didn’t move. Didn’t flinch. She stood under it, letting it wash over her, eyes open but unseeing. Her hands braced against the tiled wall. Her throat tightened.
And then — she sank.
Slowly, she lowered herself down, knees folding beneath her on the slick floor of the tub until she was curled in on herself under the stream of water. Steam rose around her like a cocoon. She covered her mouth with her hand, chest trembling as the tears came — quiet, helpless, unrelenting. Not sobs. Just that kind of crying that happens when your body can’t hold the weight anymore. She didn’t know how long she sat there, the water soaking her hair, her skin, washing nothing away really. But it was something. It was silence. It was warm. It was not Leo. It was not pain.
It was safe.
Eventually, she reached for the towel. Moved slowly, like her body didn’t quite belong to her.
Wrapped in soft cotton, she spotted the folded clothes on the floor: a worn pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie. Both smelled like detergent and something else — him. She slipped them on, and for the first time in days, her hands weren’t shaking as badly.
She stepped back out into the apartment, eyes scanning the space. It was quiet. Then she saw the note on the counter.
“Didn’t want to crowd you. Grabbed food. Back in 20. - B”
Her throat caught again — but this time not with grief. Not quite. This was something else.
Something dangerously close to hope.
She folded the note and held it in her palm for a second longer than necessary, her fingers gently pressing over the ink like it would tell her something more.
Then she turned — and nearly jumped when she saw a pair of pale blue eyes watching her from across the living room.
A white cat.
She was perched on the arm of the couch, still as a statue, long fur glowing soft in the low light, as if she’d been conjured from the snow. Her tail flicked lazily once, as though acknowledging her presence, but not bothered by it.
Y/N blinked. “Hi,” she said softly.
The cat tilted her head — not spooked, not shy. Just... assessing.
Y/N stepped a little closer and crouched beside the couch. “You must be Alpine.”
The cat blinked slowly.
“I’ve heard about you.”
Alpine hopped down, her movement elegant and unhurried. She padded over and sat directly in front of her, eyes narrowing, inspecting the stranger who now wore Bucky’s clothes.
Y/N reached a tentative hand forward, then paused, giving Alpine the choice.
And Alpine — regal as ever — closed the distance and nuzzled her forehead gently into Y/N’s palm.
The warmth caught her off guard.
Y/N exhaled, something easing inside her. Her fingers threaded into the cat’s thick white fur, and Alpine leaned in with quiet approval.
“You’re beautiful,” Y/N whispered, voice barely there. “Softest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”
She sat on the floor without even realizing it, legs folded beneath her, Alpine climbing into her lap as if this had been the plan all along. As if she'd known.
Y/N scratched behind her ears and felt the soft vibration of a purr echo through her hands. For the first time in what felt like years, she smiled. A real one. Small, but real.
“Guess he lets someone love him, huh?” she murmured. “Lucky you.”
Alpine’s only response was to curl into her, fur brushing her arms, and close her eyes with the trust of a creature who had never known violence.
Y/N leaned back against the couch, petting her slowly.
The apartment was warm. The storm outside tapped against the windows. She was safe. At least for now.
And maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t alone.
The key turned softly in the lock.
Bucky pushed the door open with his shoulder, balancing two paper bags heavy with the smell of warm takeout — spices, broth, and something buttery. The cold air clung to him, but the moment he stepped into his apartment, it wasn’t the warmth that hit him first.
It was the stillness.
The kind of stillness that wasn’t empty — it was quiet, full.
Then he heard it — a soft purr.
He turned his head, and there they were.
She was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, his oversized hoodie drowning her form, legs folded underneath her, head tilted gently to the side. Alpine was curled into her lap like a cloud, long white fur spilling over her thighs as she moved her hand slowly, lovingly, through the cat’s back.
And she was smiling. Not a forced one, not guarded. It was small, but soft and real — the kind of smile that made Bucky forget for a moment how to breathe. He stood there for a second too long, the bags still in his hands, staring. Y/N looked up — startled at first — but when she saw it was just him, her shoulders dropped slightly, the tiniest crack of ease slipping into her expression. “She found me,” she said, her voice warm but a little hoarse. “Or maybe I found her. Not sure which.”
Bucky stepped further in, nudging the door closed behind him with his foot. “She doesn’t let just anyone touch her,” he said quietly, setting the takeout on the counter. “I think she likes you.”
Alpine gave a soft grunt of approval, as if in agreement.
“I think I like her too,” Y/N murmured, fingers still moving gently. “She doesn’t ask questions. Doesn’t expect anything.”
Bucky leaned against the kitchen island for a beat, just watching them — the broken woman in his hoodie, and the quiet animal who saw something worth curling into.
“She’s a good judge of character,” he said. “Better than me, most days.”
Y/N looked at him again — really looked — and there was something in her eyes that flickered. Tired, but present. Like she was trying to believe she could exist in this space without having to flinch.
“You hungry?” he asked, gentle now.
She nodded. “Starving, actually.”
“Perfect,” he said, pushing off the counter. “I got miso soup, fried rice, and those dumplings, the ones with the crispy bottoms.’’ Her lips twitched in excitement.
He opened the bags, the steam curling up like the apartment itself was exhaling. He began plating everything, tossing her a look.
“Come sit. You eat, I’ll feed Alpine some tuna.”
“You spoil her.”
“She’s my girl,” Bucky said, smirking. Then he paused — just a second — eyes flicking to Y/N. She caught it. Her breath hitched — almost imperceptibly. But she stood anyway, Alpine slipping from her lap with a stretch and a tail flick. Y/N padded over to the small kitchen table, slid into the chair he pulled out for her. And when he sat across from her and handed her a warm plate, their fingers brushed. Neither pulled away. Thankfully it was Bucky’s flesh hand, he sat in silence, contemplating whether he should reveal his metal arm or not, he took of his jacket first and got up to hang it on the hanger by the door and then got back, Y/N was eating the take out, her freshly cleaned hair falling from her not so stiff shoulders, her hair smelled like his shampoo and he liked it, he liked seeing her in his clothes. He cleared his throat before he spoke and also got her attention, she looked up to meet his ocean eyes. ‘’It’s only fair that I also share something with you, after you came to me.’’ He began which earned a puzzled look from her. Her flesh hand was on the counter, resting next to his bowl of miso soup, the metal one under the counter and with exhale he lifted his metal arm, he still had long sleeved shirt but one could see the vibranium hand. Y/N looked at his metal arm and then his face again. Her eyes lingering for a moment longer this time. She didn’t flinch. Didn’t recoil. If anything, there was curiosity there… and something softer, too. Bucky’s jaw worked, like he was bracing himself for a reaction he’d already rehearsed in his head too many times.
“It’s… part of me,” he said quietly. “Has been for a long time. I just—” He let out a bitter half-laugh, looking down at the gleaming black plates of vibranium. “Most people see it before they know me. And when they do… that’s all they see.”
She set her chopsticks down slowly, leaning a little over counter, eyes fixed on him.
“That’s not all I see.”
Her voice was calm, steady — but the words hit him like a gut punch. He’d expected questions. Pity. Maybe even fear. But not that.
Bucky swallowed, fingers curling slightly against the wood of the counter. “You’re not… scared?”
She shook her head. “I’ve seen enough in my life to know fear doesn’t always come from what’s in front of you. Sometimes it’s the people you trust that hurt you. And I know you’re not one of them.”
Something shifted in his chest — something warm, dangerous, and a little frightening in its own right. He didn’t deserve that kind of faith. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But she was giving it to him anyway.
His gaze flicked to the faint bruise along her jaw, the way she was holding herself a little less tightly now that she was warm and fed. He nodded once, more to himself than to her, and reached for his soup.
“Alright,” he said quietly, almost like a promise. “Then I guess… we’re even.”
Of course she wanted to ask questions about it but not right now, not when she is somewhat content and fed properly, she basically didn’t want to ruin the mood, in silence they ate. It felt cozy and warm under the small kitchen’s orangey light, it was something she had long forgotten but the feeling was surfacing, her grandmother’s kitchen, soft lights, warm food made for her, soon the late dinner came to a finish and Bucky got up to throw away the empty containers, they had ate everything. ‘’Allow me.’’ She bolted to her feet, it was the least she could do but Bucky stopped her, ‘’You sit down, turn on the TV if you want or go to the bed, the sheets are clean.’’ He explained shortly, Y/N had no energy to protest and for once it felt nice for someone to do something for her, even though that person was a man she barely knew. Y/N walked few steps to reach the couch, she sat, didn’t turn on the TV, didn’t want to be too much in his space and thankfully Alpine came to her rescue, the cat jump to her lap and made herself comfortable, purring deeply which calmed Y/N. She kept petting the animal while Bucky was busy in the kitchen and then the silence, she hadn’t noticed it until casually lifting her head and he was leaning against the wall watching her playing with his cat, sitting on his couch with his clothes. The woman he had been admiring for months now was in his house, it was overwhelming for him and when she caught him staring he cleared his throat, it was getting late, ‘’I can sleep on the couch.’’ She blurted out which earned a scoff from Bucky, ‘’No. Follow me.’’ There was no room for debate so Y/N gently got to her feet, she made sure not to disturb Alpine and followed Bucky down the hall, his house was on bedroom apartment, same as hers so it was familiar. He hit the lights in his room, it was simple one double bed with white clean sheets, it was neat… too neat. Dark blue curtains, she figured he didn’t like the morning sun, two doors closet which was dark brown, and a small rug on the floor. ‘’The bed is yours.’’ He moved to his closet, got himself a pillow and a thin blanket, he moved to leave and startled by her hand on his wrist, stopping him, his back was turned to her, he moved his head slightly to see her, ‘’Good night.’’ She said with a small smile, her fingers gentle on his fleshed wrist, if she had any idea of what she was doing to him right now she would ran and scream, how naïve she was. ‘’Good night.’’ His voice was rough to cover the storms in his heart.
Notes:
Thank you for reading.
(Previous comment deleted.)
Shegatsby on Chapter 1 Sun 22 Jun 2025 01:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
(Previous comment deleted.)
Shegatsby on Chapter 1 Tue 24 Jun 2025 08:34AM UTC
Comment Actions
Chemu18 on Chapter 7 Wed 09 Jul 2025 09:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
Shegatsby on Chapter 7 Thu 10 Jul 2025 11:50AM UTC
Comment Actions
Toni (Guest) on Chapter 9 Tue 26 Aug 2025 02:53PM UTC
Comment Actions
Shegatsby on Chapter 9 Tue 26 Aug 2025 06:15PM UTC
Comment Actions
Mphillig on Chapter 9 Thu 28 Aug 2025 08:26PM UTC
Comment Actions
Shegatsby on Chapter 9 Fri 29 Aug 2025 08:31PM UTC
Comment Actions