Chapter Text
Ren’s eyelids felt heavy, so heavy in fact, that he didn’t feel like opening them. Almost as if something was keeping them closed. In his ears were unexpected sounds. People talking, the clinking of a train on rails, the distant honks of cars and slowly, he opened his eyes. The scene before him felt familiar, too familiar in fact. To his right, two girls were talking and their conversation made its way into his ears.
“What.. Are you for real? A mental shutdown?”
A mental shutdown? How was this possible? Shido had his heart changed and confessed to his crimes, the metaverse was destroyed along with Mementos, and Goro was... Ren’s head began to spin. Why was he here? He felt he was suffocating in his seat, and it didn’t help the fact that his clothes felt odd on him--the fabric of his shirt brushing against his skin in an unfamiliar way. He checked his phone, in search of reassurance, comfort, anything, but what faced him on his screen only amplified the feeling of dread already swelling in his chest.
As he stared, despair churning in his stomach, the screen glared back with the date—April 9th
The rest of the ride was a blur, he somehow managed to get off at Shibuya Station and get onto the next train for Yongen-Jaya. Why was he even going to Leblanc? Surely he had already said his goodbyes to Sojiro, right? He was somehow so shaken, he didn’t notice how his hair swayed a bit too much in the wind and how his balance felt slightly off from what he was used to and how...
He finally reached Leblanc’s doorstep and, snapping out of his trance, a thought came to him. ‘Maybe Sojiro might know something about this.’ With sudden determination he pushed open the door to the warm and usually very calm cafe. His eyes landed on the man, warmth filling his chest. Having only just left for his hometown, he already missed Sojiro. Unlike his parents, he was kind and caring and he offered pretty much unconditional love. Ren opened his mouth to speak
‘I’m back’ was what he wanted to say as Sojiro spoke before him.
“Oh right, they did say that was today...”
What? But that was what-
“So you’re Ren Amamiya?”
All he could do was simply nod his head. What was going on? Ren couldn’t make sense of it. Was he reliving the past? But that couldn’t be... Right? He defeated Yaldabaoth and saved the world from the malevolent demiurge. Did they not truly kill it? Was he given another chance? But another chance at what? He won the game last time, did he not? He couldn’t discern the words Sojiro was speaking to him. He simply nodded and acquiesced to what blurry sentences he could make out. He followed the man up the stairs to the attic.
“This is your room. I know its cluttered, I’ll leave the cleaning up to you”
It was the same as when he arrived last spring. Boxes scattered around everywhere, trash and other objects thrown to the floor and unbearably dusty air. He didn’t have the strength to question anything anymore. After thanking Sojiro, he grabbed a broom and started cleaning the cluttered attic. It didn’t take too long, at least he thought. He lost track of time around the time he entered the cafe, his internal clock became completely out of wack which made telling the time a rather strenuous task. What he did know what that the sun wasn’t in the sky anymore and the only thing illuminating him were the dim light bulbs hanging sloppily from the ceiling and the moonlight pouring in through his window. As he finished putting away the last boxes, which seemed a lot heavier than last time, Sojiro made his way up the stairs once again.
“Hey, this room isn’t all that bad once its cleaned up right?” He chuckled “But hey... don’t push yourself too hard. Those boxes must be pretty heavy for a young lady like you”.
What? For a young... lady? Why would Sojiro say that? Clearly, Ren did not look like a lady. Alright maybe he didn’t look like the ideal masculine man but still, to confuse him for a girl...
“What are you ta...” Ren coughed. The voice that spoke to Sojiro wasn’t his, at least it didn’t sound like his. The voice almost sounded like a.. girl’s. The world seemingly stood still. Suddenly as he grew very conscious of the sounds escaping from his lips, he also started to notice every little detail that felt somewhat off hours ago. His fingers grazed his —*her— hair. It was dark, thick and curly like she remembered but it was now way longer, flowing down her neck and back like dark ink oozing out of her head. And her arms, she used to be scrawny but now they were more like twigs that could snap at any moment. No wonder she felt so exhausted after cleaning up. Sojiro stared at the girl analyzing himself, looking perplexed and a little panicked.
“... What’s up kid, you feeling alright?” The man asked worried.
“Y-yeah everything is fine... I’m just t-tired so I’ll go to bed, thanks again for the hospitality”. Ren managed to spit out in a shaky and uncertain voice. It still made her jump, the sound coming from her own mouth. It felt alien, like it wasn’t herself speaking. As Sojiro left after reminding her of their trip to Shujin Academy the next day, Ren laid down on her cozily uncomfy bed and looked up at the wooden ceiling. An endless cyclone of thoughts swirled in her head all at once, making it difficult for her to sleep.
‘Why is this happening?’ she asked himself for what felt like the thousandth time today. What perplexed her the most was why the only thing that changed for this second run was her gender. Surely there had to be some strange reason behind it. Maybe it was Yaldabaoth or whatever remained of it, playing tricks on the trickster. No matter. For now she was simply too tired to think about anything. If someone was playing games with her, she figured she’d better just play along for now. This brought up another question, in the back of her mind, one she tried very hard to suppress.
Why didn’t she mind it? Oh, it was weird and it surely felt even weirder but, there, in the very back of her conscience, a little voice told the trickster that this wasn’t the worst predicament. For now, she decided, she might as well go along with everyone else. It would surely just be weirder for her to act like a boy in this state, right?
The thoughts swirling around her head quieted down after a few minutes as deep slumber overtook the soon-to-be phantom thief.
As Ren woke up, she felt the room was unusually quiet, without the constant bickering of Morgana at her side. A presence that felt almost nostalgic by now. One she couldn't wait to get back by her side. She felt almost lonely staring at the empty room while putting on her clothes. It was the only change of clothes she had, and for some reason—they fit all wrong. They were the same basic t-shirt and pants she had worn only yesterday, but only this time, as she put them on, with her mind a little less clouded than before, she noticed just how much they didn't fit. The t-shirt draped oddly on her frame and the pants were tight in some places but loose in others. Nevertheless, it was all she had so she contented herself with them. With her outfit on, she descended the stairs towards the cafe. On the counter, a steamy plate of curry stood, waiting for her.
“Hey, we have to go pretty soon to your school so eat up... And don’t expect this every morning, you’ll have to feed yourself from now on, got it?” said the man behind the counter.
God, Ren forgot how cold Sojiro was at the start compared to the same man towards the end of his last run. She couldn’t wait for him to start to warm up to her. In fact, she missed everyone. The phantom thieves, her friends and her confidants, all were missing from her life and it left a sour taste in her mouth. A taste that was quickly smothered by the deliciously warm and familiar taste of Sojiro’s curry. Even though things right now were different and confusing, at least Ren knew that she could always fall back in the familiarity and comfort of Leblanc’s food.
“Alright, we’re going, finish up” Sojiro said to Ran as she was finishing up her curry.
Meeting with principal Kobayakawa went roughly the same as what she remembered, except for one small detail. Kawakami entered the room with a little bag in her hands.
“Before I forget...” said the teacher, barely trying to hide her annoyed tone. “Here’s your new uniform”.
As she grabbed the plastic bag from the teacher, she suddenly felt dread well up in her stomach. The thought of wearing the pleated skirt every day at school made her twitch with anxiety, her smile faltering as she stared back at the teacher. How did Ann, Makoto and Haru do it? Maybe they were just used to it but Ren wasn’t. She could only fear the coming day, where she’d eventually be forced to wear this sickly revealing uniform.
Although, now that she was thinking about it, tomorrow was supposed to be the day she met Ryuji and also awaken to her persona. That is, if everything should go according to how it went last time. Even so, that little memory made her look forwards to the next day just a little bit more.
On the way back, she and Sojiro were listening to the radio as the man’s car stood standstill in traffic. She remembered something like this happening last time as well. As something on the radio caught her ear, she decided to turn up the volume.
“A subway train had derailed, severely affecting the timetable across all of-”
Realization struck Ren like she was being stabbed. The train accident, the mental shutdowns... Akechi was alive. Panic started to cloud her mind. She needed to do something soon or else... Goro’s story might end up the same way it did last time. Shot by his father’s cognition of himself. That couldn’t happen again, she had to find him, to contact him, somehow.
“Hey kid, are you alright?” She heard a voice say next to her.
“Y-yeah sorry...” She replied, weakly.
She couldn’t think or focus on anything else, all that occupied her mind was Goro and how she could get to him earlier than last time, before he became suspicious of the phantom thieves, before he could see her as an enemy.
Back at Leblanc, Ren asked Sojiro if she could lend a hand with the cafe. She had to get her mind off of things after all. The man was clearly very hesitant at first, not sure if he trusted the delinquent to make coffee for his customers. To try and gain his trust, she asked if she could just make him a coffee, just so he could see she had what it took. Sojiro was pleasantly surprised as the girl showed him her coffee brewing skills, skills she learned from the man himself. As she finished pouring a second cup, the bell of door rang.
Ren didn’t look up at the customer, too worried she might mess up the taste of the coffee she was making. But then something caught her attention, the customer’s voice. It was that of a girl but it felt strangely familiar. At this she lifted her head only to see a beautiful girl, with medium length brown hair and a beige coat. She also carried a briefcase with a logo etched into the metal—one she’d recognize anywhere. As she looked up at the customer’s face, she suddenly felt their eyes lock as the mysterious girl approached her. She looked panicked but also... relieved?
“Ren!” the girl nearly shouted at the trickster behind the counter. It took less than a second for Ren to finally figure out where she had seen that briefcase before.
“G-Goro?”