Chapter Text
Helly blinks, and instantly knows: she is not on the severed floor.
A moment ago, she had gotten on the elevator, the feeling of Mark still on and inside of her. They had waited until Dylan had left, then lingered as long as they dared. She had sat on his lap, giving him more kisses, nuzzling into his neck. He had let his fingers trail up her back and into her hair, breathing her in. They were both tempted to return to their plastic tent.
But it had been Helly who had put the brakes on that idea, the feeling of Mark’s blood on her face still too fresh. He needed to rest. His body needed the sleep, even if he wouldn’t experience it.
She had fought down the jealousy that she had never experienced it. Mark had. With her. She wanted to throttle Helena for taking that experience from them.
So, they had walked hand in hand to the elevator, knowing that it would only be a few moments before they saw each other again. He had kissed her deeply, had peppered the rest of her face with his kisses till she was giggling. He had looked at her like he wanted to confess something, but instead just gave her one last kiss before whispering that he would see her tomorrow, after the weekend had passed for the outies.
Except now she was laying on the floor, on scratchy carpet not unlike the kind in Lumon, looking up at a cavernous ceiling. Cavernous. The word comes to her from nowhere.
Helly sits up, rubbing the back of her head, which is throbbing. She is in a bedroom. A huge bedroom. The bed beside her is large, and there is a desk with what Helly thinks is a computer near it. Otherwise, the room is mostly sparse, with a picture of Kier hanging on the wall, and a clock signaling that it is 9pm.
This is Helena’s bedroom.
Helly slowly stands, as if worried moving too fast will turn her off again. She looks down at herself and gasps. Instead of her usually work attire, she is wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. Helena’s night clothes.
What the fuck?
How on earth could this be happening, wonders Helly as she starts poking around, trying not to panic. She opens Helena’s closet and is pissed to see the amount of pants and non-heel shoes that are in it. She starts opening drawers, including the one in Helena’s beside drawer, that has a strange contraption in it that buzzes when Helly presses the buttons. It startles her, how loud the buzzing is, and she quickly turns it off and puts it back.
She moves to the desk, containing only the computer (though it looks too small to be one, it’s practically flat), and a framed photo. Helly picks the photo up, stares at what must be a younger version of Helena, one from when she was a child. Jame Eagan stands behind her, with a stare that makes Helly shiver. Also in the picture is a woman, very pretty, with red hair, who has her hand on Helena’s shoulder.
Mother.
Helly swallows, and puts the photo down. She sits at the desk and starts opening all the drawers. Nothing of note is found except a small notebook, hidden under some papers. She opens it, starts to read.
Father refuses to talk about what happened to GS.
Doctor Mauer claims he has never had contact with GS.
Talked to employee in the morgue. Sweating but held the line.
Helly stares. Is Helena investigating what happened to Mark’s outie’s wife? Would she not already know?
Helly puts the notebook down, begins to tap at the computer, which isn’t that different from hers, but still very strange. The trackball has been replaced with a flat surface that responds to her fingers. She clicks around, not sure what she is looking for, but Helena has a file open that piques her interest.
A long list of names and addresses. The word Employees flashes at the top. Her throat going dry, she starts to scroll down to the S names, till the first names become M, and slowly reads every one till she comes to what she needs.
Mark Scout.
His address is listed next to him name, and Helly grabs a pen, scribbles it down in the notebook. She then changes her clothes, putting on clothes that the words for come to her without a reason for knowing. Jeans. Sweatshirt. Sneakers. Coat.
She then finds a large bag, put the notebook and the computer in it, and slowly opens the bedroom door, peeking her head out.
The hallway is huge, and the size of the house is making Helly feel dizzy. She quietly closes the door, and turns right, praying this is the way out of the house. She finds a staircase going down, and quickly descends. She passes an expanse of rooms, trying not to waste time looking in them, but notices a room filled with books, and a room with glass walls and a large body of water in it.
Just how wealthy is this family? She wonders as she finds herself in what can only be called an entryway. She approaches the enormous doors, praying to Kier that this is the exit, and opens it.
The cold outside air slaps her in the face, and she starts to shiver. To her horror, she cannot see a car anywhere, and the land around her is vast.
“Ms. Eagan!”
Fuck fuck fuck, Helly thinks, trying to straighten her body to a Helena posture before turning. A young man is jogging toward her, wearing a uniform.
“My apologies, I wasn’t aware that you needed the car tonight.”
“Spontaneous trip,” Helly says, trying to keep her voice calm.
“Of course, I should have known with your father away for the weekend,” he says with a wink.
Helly starts. It is clear that Helena and this man are…friendly?
“Do you need to be driven or would you like to drive yourself?”
Helly swallows. She doesn’t know if she knows how to drive (well, at least Helena does), but the less people knowing what she is doing the better.
“I’ll drive myself,” she says, trying to sound sure of herself.
“Excellent, I’ll pull up the car for you,” he says, tipping his cap at her.
Helly stands there for a few minutes, waiting, trying to control her breathing. Then a car pulls up next to her, and the man hands her the keys, wishing her a good night.
Helly gets in the driver’s seat, and to her delight, she finds that her body had muscle memory for this. There is also a screen on her dashboard, asking for a destination. Fingers shaking, she punches in Mark’s address, and feels like whooping when directions start guiding her to his house.
She slowly pushes on the gas, and as she drives, she starts to feel nervousness fill up her chest. There’s a high chance that Mark is in his outie form, and he won’t recognize her. Or worse, he will only know her as Helena, as an Eagan. The word makes Helly want to spit. He might hate her, curse at her, hurt her. She wouldn’t blame him.
So, as she drives, she starts to rehearse to herself, trying to ignore the deep sadness that the words leave in her.
“Hi, Mark. You don’t know me, but…”
Mark blinks, and instantly knows he’s not on the severed floor.
“Mark? Mark, can you hear me?”
That is not Helly’s voice.
His eyes adjust, though he can still feel Helly’s kiss on his lips. A woman he has never seen before is kneeling next to him, looking extremely worried.
“What…what happened?” he asks, realizing he is laying on the floor of a house he has never seen before. He lifts his head, and it throbs.
“You collapsed. You were talking and then your eyes suddenly starting blinking rapidly.
Mark groans as he tries to sit up, but the woman pushes him back down.
“Don’t move.”
She runs out of the room, and Mark realizes the woman might also live here. Oh god, his outie didn’t go and get remarried, did he?
The woman returns with some strange equipment, and puts what looks like a wand on his head.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asks, looking at the screen attached to the wand.
Kissing Helly. Making love to her in our tent. Her on my lap. The smell of her hair, the way she moans. Realizing that I love her.
“Uh, talking to you,” is what he comes up with.
The woman is clearly smart, and gives him a piercing look.
“What were we talking about?”
Shit, shit, shit.
“Uh,” he mutters as he takes a stab in the dark. “What we were gonna make for dinner.”
“What were we gonna make?”
“Chicken?” he says lamely.
“That’s wrong, you’re lying Mark,” she says, and Mark feels his throat go dry.
“What do you really remember?” she asks again, staring at him.
Mark swallows, takes a breath.
“Leaving work.”
The woman’s breath hitches.
“You’re his innie,” she says, moving the wand all around his head.
Mark nods.
“Holy shit,” she says, finally taking the wand away.
“Who are you?” asks Mark.
“My name is Reghabi. I’m the surgeon that severed you. Your outie, I mean.”
Mark feels fear clutch at his heart. She’s with Lumon.
“I’m not with Lumon anymore,” she says, clearly sensing his fear. “I’ve been attempting to reintegrate you and your outie.”
What?
“Why is he doing that?” asks Mark, though he’s sure he knows the answer.
“To find his wife,” says Reghabi.
“Ms. Casey,” says Mark.
Reghabi nods.
“What’s happening?” asks Mark. “Did you do this? Wake me up? Where am I?”
“I didn’t do this,” she says. “I don’t know who did. You’re at your house.”
My house, thinks Mark, looking around. He doesn’t know what he expected, but he did think the house would be brighter. Not as bright as the severed floor, but most of the lights around him are turned off. He then looks at Reghabi, who is clearly studying him like he’s a specimen.
“And do you…are we…”
Reghabi gives a chuckle.
“No, Mark, we are not together in any sense of the word. Your outie was kind enough to let me stay here, in the basement.”
“Oh, okay,” says Mark, very relieved though feeling awkward that this woman was just here now. He walks around the house, examining the living room, the kitchen, his bedroom. His bed is large, and he suddenly wishes that Helly was here to see it. The thought of her in his bed, with him, makes his mouth go dry,
“I don’t know what I should do,” he says as he returns to the living room. “Like, should I talk to Mark’s sister?”
He knows what he wants to do. He wants to take Mark Scout’s car and drive around until his finds Helly, but he realizes that she would be in her Helena form. The thought makes him shiver.
“Why don’t you tell me what you did at work today,” says Reghabi, sitting down on a chair across from the sofa.
Mark also sits down, his whole body sinking into the cushions. He has a sudden flash of Helly sitting next to him, and wishes beyond all else that she could be here to experience it. If anything, her next to him would make him feel at ease.
“At work?” he asks.
“Yes, every detail.”
Mark swallows, wondering how much detail he really needs to go into about what he and Helly did.
“Well, I exited the elevator, and I had a…conversation with my coworker,” he says, remembering Helly’s devastated face in the bathroom. “Then I refined for a while.”
“Refined?” asked Reghabi.
“It’s what we do at work,” says Mark, taking a moment to explain the numbers. Surprisingly, she does not seem confused or shocked at the idea of scary numbers.
“Then what?” she asks.
“Well, then I took a break and my…coworker and I went for a walk through the halls.”
He can still feel Helly on his skin, feel the way she shuddered as he entered her, the way she moaned, arched her back.
“After that, I got a nosebleed.”
Reghabi looks up at that.
“How long did that last?” she asks.
“I don’t know, about twenty minutes?”
His blood on Helly’s face, his panic thinking it was hers, the way she tried to stench the flow with her own hand.
“Then we refined some more.”
“We?” asks Reghabi.
“Me and my coworkers. Then it was time to go home. I stayed a little late,” he says.
Helly on his lap, kissing him, his hand in her hair.
“Then I got in the elevator, and I woke up here.”
Reghabi nods. Mark sits awkwardly, not sure what to do now. What did his outie do after work?
Suddenly, the doorbell rings, making Mark jump.
“Relax,” says Reghabi. “We ordered a pizza. It’s already paid for, you just have to answer the door and take it.”
Mark swallows but nods, not wanting to seem scared of simply opening a door. He stands up, walks over to the door, his hand shaking as he reaches for the door handle. There’s a crazy part of him that wonders if Lumon knows, and they’re here to turn him off again. With Reghabi’s eyes on his back, he opens the door.
The cold air hits his face. Standing on his stoop is the most beautiful woman in the world, whose mouth has dropped open at the sight of him.
Helly.
He’s speechless, frozen to the spot, worried for a horrible moment that it’s Helena in front of him. Until she starts to speak.
“Um, hi, Mark,” she says, twisting her hands nervously. “You don’t know me, but we actually work together at Lu–”
Mark grabs her by the shoulders, pulling her inside the house, slamming the door behind him, before gently pushing her against the wall and crashing his lips to hers.
The drive had made Helly feel like the world had exploded. There were so many people, so many cars. So many buildings lit up at night, so many trees. She even saw a few dogs being walked.
She fiddles with the radio, clicking through stations till music starts to blare through. It’s loud and explosive, and Helly loves it.
The voice coming out if the screen tells her to turn right, and when she does, she’s suddenly in front of Mark’s house. She parks the car, but feels frozen inside. She can see lights on inside, and figures moving around. More than one.
Oh.
It hadn’t occurred to Helly to prepare for if Mark had company over. Especially female company. She swallows, trying to temper the jealousy that flares up in her. If he’s his outie, of course he wouldn’t have any feelings for her. The thought makes her heart feel like it’s breaking.
She wants all of him, despite how selfish it sounds. She wants him to only want her.
She touches the bag with the notebook and the computer next to her, and takes a breath. She’s here to help Mark, and that’s it.
She gets out of the car, walks up to the door, and stands there stupidly, too nervous to knock. She prepares herself for the worst. Mark not knowing her, hating her, attacking her, swearing at her. Then she knocks, quickly and sharply, and tries to breathe normally.
Mark opens the door, and her heart swells. He’s here, in front of her, in the flesh, wearing a t-shirt and sweats, just like she had earlier in the night. He doesn’t say anything, simply stares at her, and Helly starts to talk, her heart beating fast.
“Um, hi, Mark,” she says, twisting her hands nervously. “You don’t know me, but we actually work together at Lu–”
Then Mark lunges at her, and she closes her eyes, preparing for a smack, a throttle, but instead he pulls her into the house by her shoulders, the door slamming shut behind her, before he gently pushes her against the wall. Then he kisses her, and she feels like her heart is exploding.
She drops her bag, her hands wandering up his arms and behind his neck, pulling him closer to her. His one hand cups her face so gently while his other hand protects the back of her head from the wall. That’s how she knows it’s him.
“Mark,” she whispers against his mouth, and he reluctantly pulls away from her lips, but doesn’t move back. He rests his forehead on hers, his eyes closed, just breathing.
“You woke up?” he asks, eyes still closed, just feeling her, breathing in her scent.
“Yeah,” she says, smiling, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I figured I’d find you, even if you hadn’t.”
Mark laughs, pulling her into a hug, her chin resting on her shoulder, her arms wrapping around him tight. She prays to Kier that he would never let go.
Then a noise makes Helly open her eyes, and she freezes. A woman is approaching them, holding up a long, heavy looking metal object.
“Mark?!” cries out Helly, pulling away from him.
Mark turns, sees the woman, and quickly uses his arms to block Helly from the woman, backing up till Helly is pressed between his back and the wall.
“Woah, woah, woah!” he cries out. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“Get away from her, Mark,” says the woman, and for one crazy moment Helly wonders if Mark’s outie got remarried. “She’s with Lumon. She’s an Eagan.”
“I know who the fuck she is!” yells Mark, refusing to move away from Helly, who is shaking. The anger in the woman’s voice, the wild look in her eyes. Helly recognizes it. The overwhelming need to survive at all costs.
The woman pauses at Mark’s words, but the long metal object is still raised. Helly imagines it hitting her head, smashing in her skull. She probably would have deserved it.
“You do?”
“Yes! I know she’s Helena Eagan, but she’s not Helena right now. She’s Helly. She’s an innie.”
Helly feels Mark grope for her hand, give it a squeeze. She doesn’t breathe until the woman nods, and lowers the metal object.
“Fine. But we need to discuss this,” she says before walking back into the living room.
Helly lets out a sound between a gasp and a sob, and Mark immediately turns around and wraps his arms around her, holding her tight. She’s glad he does, or else she might have collapsed on the floor, she’s shaking so hard.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, you’re safe,” he whispers into her hair.
She can’t stop thinking about how Mark had instinctively threw his body in front of her, how he didn’t even have to think before trying to protect her. It’s one of the many, many reasons she loves him.
Fuck.
She has known it for a while, even if she didn’t realize it. She loves him. More than anything.
She clutches him tighter at the revelation, but swallows the confession.
“I’m okay,” she finally manages to say, her heartbeat starting to slow.
“You sure?” asks Mark, pulling away from their hug so as to cup her face in his hands.
“Yeah,” she says, leaning forward to press a small kiss on his lips.
Mark smiles at her, and it makes Helly’s heart feel enormous.
“I can understand…why. Why she would panic,” says Helly softly.
Mark frowns at her.
“I mean, how could you know…” she mumbles.
“I knew the moment you started talking,” says Mark, looking her straight in the eyes as he says it. “I will never make that mistake again.”
God, she loves him.
Mark starts kissing her all over her face, until she starts to giggle. He then rests his forehead against hers, giving her a peck on her nose.
“We should probably all talk,” he says.
Helly nods, and feeling brave with him by her side, allows him to lead her into the living room, where the woman sits, waiting.