Fix You

by txyno

Summary:

“Not broken, huh?” I ask.

“You did this to me,” Sejanus whines and ruts against me harder, “Fix it.”

I shake my head. I am going to do him one better.

“I’m going to fix you Sejanus.”

OR

Coriolanus finds himself in a predicament when Sejanus decides to go into the arena during the games. The Plinth's can't buy themselves out of this one. Once the two boys are safe Dr. Gaul leaves Sejanus's punishment up to Coriolanus.
As Sejanus and Coriolanus's relationship shifts Coriolanus has to ask himself what it is he wants out of life. If that involves Sejanus or the games. Maybe he doesn't need to pick if he can fix Sejanus.

Posting chapters as I write them.
xoxo -txyno

Notes:

Comment, I love hearing thoughts, even negative ones. Leave a like if you dig it!

Chapter 1: Playing Games

       Sejanus was the epitome of desperate. Sure, he would never go out of his way to fit in so seamlessly like myself. He doesn’t need to. His family’s money speaks louder than their past in District 2. No, his form of pathetic came in following me around so much so that I have been mistaken for the boys only and best friend. The Hunger Games are still rolling, a handful of tributes left and the Capitol paying full attention. Though, Sejanus still needs to be punished for the idiotic stunt he pulled inside the arena. His parents groveled with Dr. Gaul. The woman had no attempt to hide her disdain for their son, answering their pleas curtly. They threw money and the offer of a new lab at her, but she didn’t flinch. I remember the day vividly. It was only one day after Sejanus’s sorry attempt to give that grunt from his old District a funeral. Imagine that a funeral in the arena. Anyways, Sejanus’s parents came into Dr. Gaul’s lab with their own security. Their guards were dressed in the deepest shade of red I’ve ever seen without it becoming a burgundy. Their deep red outfits were accented with black cloths flapping over their mouths, indicating their Avox status. Mrs. Plinth sobbed and honestly a part of me wanted to tell her to save it. In the face of me and Dr. Gaul her tears mean nothing. Mr. Plinth pleaded for nearly an hour before Dr. Gaul spoke her first full sentence,

       “Maybe Coriolanus will have some better ideas on how Sejanus can repay the Capital for his . . . treason.”

       So here I am. Waiting in Dr. Gaul’s lab by myself. She decided since she is doing me a favor by taking me under her wing, I could do her one. In the back of my mind, I’ve kept track of the heinous favors I’ve already done Gaul in my few days of learning from her. Trust me, I’ve paid my debts already. I could have put a good fight not to be the one to have this conversation with Sejanus. I have learned from Dr. Gaul that humans are a lot like animals. If you ring a bell enough times and give them a treat each time that bell rings they’ll come running. Sejanus is that way. He is so desperate for genuine friendship that he will suffice with whatever it is I give him. I supply him just enough treats for the bell I ring for his attention. Therefore, here I wait for his arrival. Slightly eager. As I hear the door open, I give no reaction despite knowing it’s him.

       “Corio.” He speaks.

I hold up a finger, writing nonsense with my other hand. Anything to appear that he doesn’t have my undivided attention. The boy goes on anyway,

       “I didn’t think Gaul was one of the Capitol people that couldn’t be bought. She left my punishment to you so; I deem she’s not too upset about my show in the games.”

       So pitchy. His voice is so tight, so whiny at times I could just take his jaw into my hands and- I stop myself from thinking too far. Since killing that District boy in the games I’ve felt so…off. I stand up, no longer willing to play my game. The sooner I begin the soon I don’t have to bear anymore of the annoying son of Capitol wannabes.

       “You gonna say something now?” His head tilts like a dog as he asks.

       “You still talk like you’re living in the districts.”

       Outwardly I rarely express my disdain towards the boy to Sejanus himself. I usually make subtle suggestions that the district boy inside him sickens me. Today, I want to cleanse him of that. What better punishment than to make the boy fully Panem.

       “You know what they say, you can take a man out of the districts but not the districts out of a man.”

He laughs then nervously shuffles his hand through his thick curls.

       “You’d hate that wouldn’t you?” I say finally standing up from my pearl toned desk.

       I walk toward the boy, my eyes locked onto his soft brown puppy-like ones.

       “Corio?”

       “Sejanus.”

       As if he is realizing all of my words at once, he turns and makes a run for it. The doors were locked behind him once he entered. I still let him run without saying anything. I find this amount of desperation to escape me quite entertaining. Reminds me of Lucy Gray in the games. Another reason for me to be mad at Sejanus’s foolish actions. As I prance through Gaul’s lab Lucy Gray is in the arena fighting for her life. I have zero updates. For all I know she could be dead. I pick my pace up at the thought of losing these games.

       “Sejanus. . . the doors locked.” When I reach Sejanus, I slow down again.

       His back is pressed tightly against the wall, his face now damps with sweat from his attempt to escape. I am finally close enough to Sejanus to get a full breath of his scent. Lavender and honey scents fill my nose. Sejanus is frozen.

       “Are you,” he takes a deep breath in then exhales, “Are you going to kill me?”

       Honestly, fair question. Gaul had suggested to me, after Sejanus’s parents left, that poison can be a sure and silent thing as she twirled one of her mutated snakes around her gloved fingers. I don’t want to kill Sejanus. I reach out a hand to his right-side ear, tucking a loose and sweaty curl behind his ear.

       “No,” I lean forward, taking both sides of his face in my hands, “I’m going to make you make me feel good, going to fix you.”

       “What,” It barely sounds like a question when the word leaves his lips.

        “I said,” I begin.

       “I heard you,” He tries to snap his head away from my hands, so I tighten my grip.

       “Don’t be stupid Sejanus. . .”

       I truly want him to weigh his options, something that so far, he has not been good at. Once his head stills, I use one hand to begin undressing the boy from his Academy uniform. He is shaking so much. My adrenaline is coursing through my veins now. My prey and just as Gaul said I am the predator. When I finish undoing his top his is disheveled. His eyes dart every which way but mine and his head is only hovering over the touch of my hand.

       “Scared?” His face contorts into something indescribable. Fear? Disgust? I can’t care.

       “What is wrong with you?”

       Me? What is wrong with me? For starters I’m closer to you than any future president of Panem would ever want to be.

       “Sejanus, why so you think it’s okay to defend the districts. The same shit-lands you left behind to become as smart and bright as you are today.”

       My hate for Sejanus doesn’t blind the fact that he is my only classmate who rivals me academically. He is bright and decides to waste it on rebellious acts rather than focus on bettering Panem like me.

       “Corio, whatever Gaul is making you do- “

       I slam the hand I used to undress him beside his head. The impact of my fist echoes throughout the lab and Sejanus flinches, eyes shutting tight. His first tear falls. I coo at him, wiping the tear before it can make it past his nose.

        “Trust me, I want to do what I’m about to do to you.”

        I wait no more and begin thinking of all the ways I wanted to wreck Lucy Gray before I left her to the arena. I back away from Sejanus to undress myself. Usually, I would never. I shove my pants down after I’ve stripped myself of my shirt. All that stand is my underwear. When I’m done, I notice Sejanus hasn’t moved an inch.

       “Well? Satisfy me boy.” I demand.

       “H-How? I’ve never,” he begins then shakes his head, “I don’t like boys Corio.”

       “Coriolanus, my name is Coriolanus.” I correct. “Get on your knees, I’ll guide you, just how I do with everything else that is too Capitol for you.”

        He shakes his head. I step forward again but this time I shove our bodies together. I press my nose to the crook of his neck, sniffing his scent in before softly nibbling at the skin. I lick, suck, even moan as I do it all. Slowly I place my hand on the hem of his underwear. I trace my slender fingers down until I feel it. Hard, god so hard, and thick.

       “Corio this is so weird I- “

I bite harder into his neck, then lap at the area to soothe it. “Repeat after me ‘Janus.” I order. He gives a small nod.

       “Coriolanus.”

       “Coriolanus.” He repeats.

       “I want you to take the district out of me.”

He is hesitant. Like a dog I think to myself. I bite down again, and my previous words fumble out of his mouth with ease.

       “Good, good. I take the district out of you. You help me feel good ‘Janus.”

I press a hand on one of his shoulders and his back slides down against the wall until he is on his knees. I lift his chin up, pressing at his lips with my thumb. His lip’s part and I swiftly shove my thumb in deeper.

       “Suck it, try not to bite.”

       And so, he does, I throw my head back. If Sejanus himself wasn’t turning me on, the power I hold in this moment is. Either way I want to bury myself in his face until his body is convulsing for me to stop. His hot mouth soaks my thumb in his saliva until it’s dribbling from the sides of his lips. I pull my thumb away and use his open blouse to wipe it clean. Finally, I take off my underwear.

       “I can’t, I can’t Corio!” He yells. He tries to stand up but my hand presses back down on his shoulder. I press him harder against the wall, my knee digging into his chest.

       “It’s okay. You told me you want me to take the district out of you, no?” I wipe the tears rolling down his plump cheeks.

He shakes his head,

       “You made me, you- “

        I press hard into his chest this time leaning my head down to take the boys lips into my own. He is so sweet. Like the chocolate Grandmam goes on and on about having. Passion is one word to describe what I’m feeling. I’m also overwhelmed with the reminder that I may never taste that chocolate if I don’t get Lucy Gray to win these games. Even then, if Sejanus leaves here feeling as though he’s been used maybe he’ll never speak to me again. I’d like that except that puts my prize at risk. I can’t have two powerful men hating me at once. I lick at his lips, and he lets me in with ease. You are so easy Sejanus Plinth. I pull away and catch a string of our mixed saliva onto my finger. I rub the excess on Sejanus’s red lips.

        “Sejanus, I’m just watching out for you as I always have. Let me.”

       I stand straight over him again this time guiding his head to my crotch. I’m painfully hard now. I need this and so does Sejanus. When my dick slips past his wet lips, I’m engulfed in a wet warmth that I’ve never had the pleasure of feeling before. My hips buck on their own and for a moment I’m embarrassed. I remember who I am standing over and it washes away. It is taking everything in me to let Sejanus do this on his own. He is lapping occasionally sucking but even this loud District rebels’ mouth isn’t big enough to properly suck me. I snatch some of the curls on the back of his head into a bunch and pull him back. He coughs a little, looking up at me with those dopy eyes.

       “I’m going to hurt you a little.” I mutter.

       I shove myself back into his mouth and my god the noises he makes as he chokes and then takes short saliva filled gasps as I thrust in out of his mouth like it’s my own hand are so sweet. His hands fly up to push me back and his head thrashes a bit. I slap him, hard enough for him to whine out, his cry muffled by my dick. So good, I feel fucking amazing. Here I am, in Gaul’s lab, front runner for the Plinth prize—the prize given by the man’s son I have gagging around me. Highbottom is right, my facade is laughable as I have no pot to piss in and I’m relying on the money of wannabes to lift me from poverty. My odds don’t look so bad right now though. I feel myself growing closer. I plant my feet into the ground and take hold of Sejanus’s hair again. I shove myself as deep as his mouth allows.

       “Fuck ‘Janus, fuck.”

       I cum so hard and Sejanus takes it so well. I don’t give him another option seeing as the tip of my dick is pressed against the deepest hole in his mouth. I give him all of me. When I pull away Sejanus begins to sob. So much for taking it well. He hunches over, his arms and knees holding him up.

       “Please,” He cries out, “I won’t act out again. I really won’t! I get it now!”

Like I said, the epitome of desperate.

       “Look at me.” His head rises. “Let me make you feel good how you did for me.”

I press a hand against his steaming hot face.

       “No Corio, I mean Coriolanus. Just no. You’re sick.” He says, shaking his head in disapproval.

I look around. Well so much for my odds.

        “Sejanus, I am trying to help you. You think Gaul’s first option was me? Your parents begged her, threw money in her face. She didn’t bat an eye. She trusted me to help fix you. Let me do it.”

Gaul’s first option was indeed me. Of course he doesn’t need to know that.

       “I’m not broken.”

        His eyes are filled with a fire I feel will haunt me through generations. It is unsettling to say the least. To be so passionate about rebelling that you, in the face of destruction and power, defy. I lean down to him, encasing our lips together again. I drift from our kiss, licking at the dried tears that stain his face from me fucking it. I get to where I’ve bitten and seemingly bruised the boy. Just above my spot I begin to make a new one. He can’t help but groan and moan at my bites. His hand fly’s to the back of my neck holding me in place. Oh? Oh, Sejanus what are you doing? I continue until I have Sejanus on his back. My leg is nestled between his legs, and he so lightly thrusts his hips onto it. I stop biting at his neck to gaze into his eyes. Am I still doing this against his will or has he succumbed to me? So desperate he is, his face is blushed over, and he can’t lock eyes with me for long without shutting his own.

       “Not broken, huh?” I ask. “You did this to me,” he whines and ruts against me harder, “Fix it.”

I shake my head. I am going to do him one better.

         “I’m going to fix you Sejanus.”

        It is a promise now. Whatever it is I’m feeling I want to feel again, and I can’t have that if he goes rogue every week. I snatch his neck into my hands and pull him up. He stands on his own, figuring I want him to walk. Gaul has many beds for patients but in the Capitol those who matter more get more. Sejanus lost his pants somewhere along the way and I’ve been naked since I stripped him. He staggers in my grip with only his Academy undershirt and tie on. We walk past the mutated animals, walls of dissecting tools, and machines until we meet muted golden doors. I push against the door hoping I seem confident. I’ve never seen Gaul open it so who knows if it opens at all. The door, at just my touch, slides open. Inside Gaul’s pearly white theme is upheld. Except black drapes cover a glorified hospital bed. Instead of the cheap foam she lied me on this beds foam sinks to the touch yet holds a certain firmness.

        “Lie on your belly for me Sejanus.”

He doesn’t move.

       “Do you want me to force you?” He glances around the room before slowly, too slowly, heading towards the bed.

        “Have you ever done this?” I ask.

        “Been dragged into a room and sexually humiliated? No.” His words have quite the venom to them.

        “No, idiot, I mean sex.”

         He flinches at my wording, and I remember that right now words like that are not going to get me what I want. Like a dog, I remind myself.

       “No, I’ve never.” He answers.

       I saunter to where he sits on the bed. His dick is so thick that I don’t even consider being the one to be fucked. No, that wouldn’t take the district out of him. After all that is my goal. I place three fingers at the entrance if his mouth and immediately his jaw drops, letting me in. I use my other hand to hold his head still before I start fucking his throat with my fingers. He gags like hell, and he can’t help but bite. The sound of him choking almost gets me drunk. I want to hear that noise every day. I want to be the one making him do it. I pull my fingers away when I think they are wet enough. There is no point in giving him a chance to gather himself. I grip his cock tightly with my wet hand, stroking hard and slow. It is then that I hear noises I never knew were possible. His cock is thick and the sound of his own saliva massaging his cock makes a nasty squelch. His legs are shaking and his fingers gripping into the soft foam.

       “Oh! Fucking hell, god oh my god Corio!” Sejanus moans out.

       I keep stroking him, his saliva has dried out but the amount he is leaking out of the tip of is dick makes it meaningless. I rub my thumb over his tip over and over again. Tears form in his eyes as he cums and I don’t stop not one movement. His body is seizing up, feeling too good to do anything but buck against my fingers. His moans are turning into high pitched whines. He begs me to stop but something is telling me he needs me to keep going. I almost want to laugh at him. He is just so desperate all over again. Where is that fire of hating the Capitol. Where has it gone now Sejanus? His body is giving in to me so nicely. He is sprawled on the bed now, his legs wide open and back pressed into the mattress. He lets out weak pleas for me to stop. His head shakes back and forth. I give him a dozen more hard strokes and to my absolute surprise, he cums all over again. When I don’t stop this time, he cries out louder than he has all night. I grip his cock firmly, making sure to squeeze whatever is left out.

       He sobs as is body convulses without his permission. I am painfully hard, again. I wasn’t sure if I liked men before. To be honest I never even laid eyes on a woman. Too busy with school and not starving. Now I know I like Sejanus. While he is still weak, I turn him over to his stomach. He hisses and I’m sure it’s from his dick rubbing against the foam as I open his ass up with my dry hand. My other hand is still soaked in his cum.

        “Look at me ‘Janus.”

       Slowly, but not hesitantly, he turns his head to see me. I open my mouth, letting my tongue lap a few times at the cum on my fingers. I want to lick it all up, but I need something to lube his ass with. I don’t know much about sex with another person, but I’ve gotten myself off plenty of times. The first time I shoved a finger in my ass I did it with only spit. I liked the pain; I know Sejanus won’t. His eyes don’t leave me as I slip by the tip of my pointer finger into the ring of his ass. He wines a bit, and I shush him. Those noises he makes only drives me to pull more out of him and right now I need to focus on fitting myself inside him without him losing it. I knead my finger in slowly until I’m at the knuckle. Now he ignores my warning to shut up. I lean forward, yanking his loose tie tighter. He coughs a bit and then is silent. I let go of the make sift leash and continue fingering him open. The second finger makes him stop watching me. Instead, he shoves his face into the pillow to muffle his noises. Good dog. I give him the reward of a third finger and suddenly he begins fucking himself onto my fingers. His ass giggles as he thrusts back onto me, and I use a free hand to slap a cheek. Which only excites him more. Suddenly, I yank them out and his head flies out of the pillow.

        “No, please, d-don’t stop! I won’t move anymore! It just felt so- “

          I waste no time. I am straddled onto Sejanus like he’s a horse. My cock buried deep into his ass. He’s making those noises. Those lovely, melodic, desperate noises. I snag the tie, making sure not to shut him up completely and then fuck into him like he is mine. He begs for more, so I release the leash and push myself completely on top of him. I grind my hips into is ass to make sure he feels every inch of me. He cries again, moans like the sellout he is and most importantly he calls out my name. I love it, love it like I loved my first kill, like I love power. With my stomach to his back, I release my hold on him, keeping up my pace and snag the leash again.

         “Repeat after me ‘Janus.”

He lets out a choked agreement.

        “Coriolanus.” I speak.

        “Coriolanus.” He repeats.

        “I want you to take the district out of me.”

I fuck him harder, faster. I want to hear, no I need to hear it from him.

        “I want you to take the district out of me! Please!” He cries out.

       Then his moan is deeper, and his mouth is full of profanity. However I am fucking him he is cumming, again. I release his leash and replace it with my arm. I bite into the free space of his neck and release into him. I hear myself groaning but can’t stop the embarrassing amount of noise that comes out of my mouth. Sejanus’s hole is so tight and heated right now. My hips buck wildly, riding out my high and shoving my cum as deep as I can in him. Sejanus hasn’t stopped those sweet, sweet sounds. Our faces are so close together and I am so tired. I don’t want to get hard again. I kiss him, immediately swooping my tongue in his mouth. We stay like this, lips locked and saliva dripping into each other’s domains.

       I fall asleep inside of him and when I wake, I fear Sejanus may as well. He stirs as I pull out of him and then I get off him. Part of me feels disgusted. What the hell did I do? Why? He confessed many times that he would act right from now on. I kept going, kept taking. It felt good and, in the end, I did what I was tasked with. I walk out of the golden doored room and find my clothes, swiftly getting dressed. I hear movement and walk around to find where its coming from.

        “Snow came down on the boy, he came down on the boy…once again.” She drawls.

       I cannot help but think this time I came in the boy, not down on him.

       “I think he’s learned his lesson.” I state.

       I take a seat on one of the chairs close to where Gaul is dissecting what looks like a fish. I want to ask about the games, if Lucy Gray is still alive, who has died but I withhold.

        “I figured you boys would be spending the night.” So, she knows?

       “Why is that?”

       “Oh Snow, you are much like your father. So dignified and astute.”

       “Thank you?” I say.

        “Sejanus has indeed learned his lesson, forcibly yes, but learned it non the less. I have you to thank. I’m not sure your boy will be thanking you.”

       “I deem he’ll get over it.” Gaul laughs, pausing her cutting.

        Her laugh is uncanny. People like her are not supposed to laugh. I chuckle but not authentically. My attention snaps away from her when I hear a door shut. I stand from my seat. It is hard to see through the large tubes filled with mutts around the lab, but I see a glimpse of a limping Sejanus.

         “Corio?” He calls out.

Shit. I stand up and walk over to him. He must’ve found some sheet in the room because he is draped in it. He sighs when he sees me. Sighs in relief? Or in exasperation? He hugs me, tight, and for a moment I want to pull away, but I don’t. He smells like me, like roses. No more lavender or honey. It’s not easy allowing him to hold on for how long he is. I want more than anything to pull away and assess if he is angry. I guess him hugging me could be an answer to that.

       “Sejanus,” My word is muffled in his shoulder.

       “Don’t talk we don’t have to.” He muffles back.

        Maybe he means we shouldn’t here. I pull away, I’m met with a little resistance but not enough to keep me in the hug.

       “I have work to do with Gaul, afterwards I can meet you at your home.” I offer.

       He only nods, then walks past me. When I return to Gaul, we speak about Jabber Jays and she tells me how while I was ‘fixing Sejanus’ she calls it, one of the tributes tore down the flag of Panem. I’m not shocked that it was Reaper. He seemed fed up with this country before he even got to the Capitol. Sejanus told our classmates Reapers anger was justified and that any of us would be as angry as him if we’d been dealt those cards in life. I tell this Gaul and propose that maybe we should comfort the tributes before sending them the games. Give the tributes a sip of life in the Capitol before they fight for their own lives. Gaul agrees eagerly and reminds me this is why she likes me. When I leave, I am too focused on Sejanus to go anywhere but his house. Truly I should be back with the other students watching the games. Just a few hours is what I tell myself when I knock on his door.

Chapter 2: Games Not Over

Summary:

Coriolanus visits Sejanus. . .

Notes:

Let me know your ideas or where you envision this all leading!! Ty for reading <3

Sadly, Mrs. Plinth answers the door. 

“Oh?” She seems shocked.

Sejanus is the type not to let his parents know someone’s coming over. I’m sure that is a district thing.

“Am I not who you were expecting?” I ask with a smile. 

She gives me a small laugh, cutting off the worries that I had about her knowing what I did to her son.

“I just called over a doctor for Sejanus, didn’t think he’d come this soon. He wouldn’t even let me look at him for long, but he told me he needed one. Are you here for him? I’m not sure he’ll let you see him.”

A doctor? For a little rough sex? I want to roll my eyes, but I abstain.

“He asked me to come over,” is all I can get out.

She opens her door wider, gesturing for me to come in. When I step in, I realize it is the first time I’ve been in Sejanus’s home. The Hunger Games are playing on the TV, and I don’t bother to look for long. Lucy Gray is alive, and I am almost positive I’m getting the Plinths’ money—one way or another. His mother disappears into the kitchen, and I observe their living room. Nothing here is quaint. Cream couches surround a glass coffee table; the legs of all the furniture are a shiny gold. The hardwood floor draws your eyes with its natural detail. When she comes back, she’s holding a tray of tiny sandwiches and two glasses of juice. I must stifle my eagerness at the sight of food.

“He wouldn’t take any food I offered, but he may take it from you. His bedroom’s upstairs, first one to the right.”

 She hands me the tray, then disappears down a long hall full of family portraits. I go up the stairs and pass multiple rooms. I see why she had to be specific about which was Sejanus'. I remind myself that snooping around is not proper etiquette when entering someone’s home. I go back to the front of the hall where Sejanus’ door lies. I don’t bother to knock; I just twist the golden knob, step in, and shut the door behind me. 

“Ma, I told you I’m not in the mood.”

He’s curled up into his thick duvet, only his head peeking out. He doesn’t turn around, so I speak up. “Your mother sent me up.” 

His head whips around. “Corio?”

A quirk of my brow at the unwanted nickname is all it takes for him to correct himself. 

“Coriolanus, I mean.” 

“Hello to you too.”

I set our food down on one of his nightstands and sit at the end of his bed.

“How are you?” he asks.

“Fine,” I say. I guess I should be asking him if he is okay. 

“And you? Your mom said a doctor was headed this way.” I ask, making sure to sound concerned.

Sejanus doesn’t respond; he just lays his head back down like answering would exert too much energy. Does he really need a doctor? If so, he should have said something while we were in Dr. Gaul’s lab.

“I don’t trust her,” he mutters as if reading my mind.

“Well, you should at least appreciate her. She sent you to me instead of the hanging square.” I retort.

 My words come out with more anger than I intend. I know Sejanus thinks I’m just kissing up to the only professor who has been kind to me since Highbottom insists on letting everyone know how terrible I am. Truth is, he is exactly the type of person that gets hung in the Capital. He just hasn’t said the right words yet, but he’s teetering on it. I wonder if he has some sort of death wish. He did tell me how guilty he was to be here while his other district classmate was in the Games.

“Oh yes, Coriolanus, you are right.” He sits up now, his brows pressed together and his pitch high. “I should be grateful for Gaul making me have awkward sex with my only friend.”

I wonder if he told his mother about this, and maybe that’s why he doesn’t care about being heard. He’s bordering on yelling. Also, yes of course I’m right. He’s just too district to see it. That infuriates me. If I were in his position, I’d be doing nothing to mess it up. I’m not paying attention to anything this man is saying. 

“I didn’t really come here to hear you grovel about the consequences of your actions,” I calmly say.

“Did you come here for seconds?” His voice has gone from sharp to straight-up cold. Condescending even.

I climb on top of Sejanus with no warning. I begin biting at his neck, making sure to nibble at bruises already made. His hands shove at me, but I take it as play, knowing damn well if he wants me off him he can make it happen. I must seem desperate to the boy. My hips are grinding down on his much wider ones, and I grip and grasp at the man’s body. I move the duvet to get myself under it as well. I lean into his ear, nibbling it before whispering.

“Of course. I need you, Sejanus.”

Yeah, that’ll convince him. Before I can keep seducing the boy, a large knock sends me flying off him. I make sure not to fall completely on my ass when I fall off the bed. That’s a memory I’d much rather not have. Sejanus stands, putting on a sweater he had thrown across the room. 

“Probably the doctor,” he mumbles.

You would have thought the kid spent all night binging morphling or something with the way he’s acting. He slugs towards his door and before he opens it, I cough loudly to get his attention. 

“They can’t see you; they’ll ask how you got all those—” I point to the hickeys, “I’m sure Gaul wouldn’t like to be questioned about it.”

He opens the door, and instead of a doctor at the door, it is none other than ‘Pa’. I stand up quickly, but with how large Sejanus’s room is, his father can’t see me. Sejanus barely opens the door, so that helps.

“Dad,” Sejanus says, leaning against his door.

“The Hunger Games are over. Ended early this morning.”

My eyes widen. While I’m here playing cat and mouse with Sejanus, Lucy Gray Baird could be dead. As if Sejanus is reading my mind, he questions,

“Who…”

I can hear him trying to find his words, but I’m not sure what words there are to find. Who won? That’s all you have to ask, idiot.

“Who gets to go home?” he mumbles.

“That girl won, uh—what was her name—Lucy Baird? No no, Lucy Gray it was.”

“Good.” Is all Sejanus replies with.

I was going to peep out and say hello to Mr. Plinth, but the men are having an awkward moment of silence. It is as if they are holding back what they really want to say, how they truly want to express themselves. The silence is long, and I think of shutting the door myself just to end this awkward non-conversation.

“Coriolanus is over; it’d be rude to keep him waiting,” is all Sejanus says as he shuts his door.

I laugh but stop when I’m met with Sejanus’s usually warm brown eyes gone cold. He walks past me and opens a door that I now know is his personal bathroom. I follow him, wrapping my arms around his waist while he waits for his bath to fill. I am happy—not because of Sejanus but because Lucy Gray won. I am going to university. I’m going to win the Plinth prize that belongs to the father of the boy I fucked. Except I feel a tinge of emptiness. How come Sejanus isn’t happy?

“Aren’t you happy the Games are over?” I ask.

“Oh yes, elated.” He responds. I have the urge to punch him in his teeth, but I refrain.

“Sejanus, you can’t stop the Games. We need them,” I try to explain.

“You should be going to see your Victor. I’m sure your songbird has a tune for you,” he mumbles again.

I dig the fingers that were lazily drifting over his skin deep. He groans, his hands flying to push them away. I’m still behind him, and I’m realizing how short he is compared to me. I bite where I can despite his squirms. God, his skin tastes and feels amazing. I’m so hard now, my dick twitching whenever I rut it against Sejanus’s cheeks. He is right, I need to go see Lucy Gray. I don’t even truly know how the Games ended. I don’t still my movements, and Sejanus is falling into them so smoothly now. I pull down his underwear, not bothering to strip his sweater off yet. My hands wrap around his dick, and a deep groan leaves his throat. Sejanus’s body is made of fire, and he gives off heat like an oven. I lay my chin on his shoulder.

“Mine.” Is all I can get out.

My fire, my Sejanus, my boy from the districts, and my toy. I grip him harder, stroking hard but quick. He arches his back, his ass pressing into my boner. A noise leaves my mouth that I’m not proud of, but I can’t care deeply right now. I unfasten my belt so that I can let my dick out. Sejanus lifts his head up to me. I attack his lips but he’s the one with the upper hand. His tongue is exploring my mouth like he has never had it before. His saliva is sweet, honey-like.

“I want you naked.” He says, breaking the kiss.

I don’t care, is what I want to say.

“I can’t, I have to go soon. For Lucy Gray.” I explain.

Whatever I’ve said is enough for Sejanus to stop moving those hips so roughly on my boner. I’m quick to try and find out why. 

“Go then. I’ll see you at the academy tomorrow, I’m sure.” He speaks.

Then he is easily yanking himself from my grasp. I take the hint, tucking myself back into pants and Sejanus adds soap into his bath before sinking into the water.

“I could come back over tonight.” I offer.

How shameless I am. Begging this boy for crumbs of affection. 

“Better if you don’t Corio.” He catches himself on the name call, quickly correcting it. “Coriolanus.”

“We could go to school in the morning together if I come back tonight.” I try at one last shot to get him to know I need this with him. 

He scoffs, sinking his hair into the water. “Yeah, no, you’re not coming over to fuck me after you play damsel in distress and savior with Lucy Gray. Or do you think I’m that desperate?”

“Janus- “ 

“How about you not call me that?” He hisses.

I look around, uncomfortable beyond the ability to even properly express it. And hard. I am still hard. Because standing here, watching Sejanus dip and move around in the bath is hot as it sounds.

“Okay then.” Is all I get out.

I leave the bathroom shutting the door behind me and attempt to straighten myself up before I leave. In a mirror on his dresser, I fix my hair. Out of the corner of my eye I spot a pair of underwear. They are black like the ones I stripped Sejanus of. Every bone in my body is yelling at me when I dip down to grab the underwear and throw them in my bag. I make a haste leave after that. Not stopping too long to say goodbye to his parents. I let them know Sejanus is in the tub, thank them for the food and leave.

When I get to the Academy, I walk past a higher than usual Casca Highbottom. I want to give him a smirk. Even push the short man so that he topples down the stairs he stands atop of. I refrain from all acts of pettiness and give a small smile as I make my way to my Victor. When I enter the double doors, there she is, dirty disheveled, alive, and mine.

“Lucy Gray.” I breathe out.

“You seem surprised to see me. What took ya' so long? They had me in here for hours.” 

“I was with Sejanus, schoolwork."

“Do I get to go home now?” Her eyes are soft, dopey like Sejanus’s.

“Yes. I just wanted to thank you for performing how you did in the games.”

“That wasn’t a performance Coriolanus.”

If her and Sejanus both want to use words that mask truths so be it. I don’t care.

“True.” I say, knowing that’s what she’d want to hear.

I sit beside her, and she indulges me about the games, how everyone I missed out on died, who tried to kill her, who she killed, and of course how she won. Our hands are interlocked as she goes on. I remind her so many times that she has only done what she had to survive. Lucy Gray can’t seem to grasp it. She challenges me, saying maybe people shouldn’t have to fight to live. I want to tell her that humans are made that way, we just hide it. I want to tell her how I killed that boy with half an arm. I’m not sure if I love Lucy Gray. Mostly I enjoy her rawness. She’s wild and untamable. Not like Sejanus, whose strings can be pulled so easily. I could tell her; she’d still trust me. When I hear the door buckle, I release her hand. In walks Dr. Gaul, Casca Highbottom, and the Plinths. That’s why that little shit was taking a bath. He had somewhere to be. He seemed like he wanted me to stay though. Did he want us to arrive together?

Gaul gives a speech about triumph in the face of odds never intended to favor Lucy Gray and congratulates her on winning the games.

“What’s the prize?” Lucy Gray asks, her voice laced with sarcasm.

Dr. Gaul laughs, for a little too long, then points to me. I take over and begin to explain our plan for the Victors that I had written in my proposal.

 

“We have been consulting about giving the victors a place to live in their respective districts and even arranging a food delivery.”  I explain.

This would incentive them to win and make it so that we could film victors from shitty districts after they’ve own. I explain the idea aloud much more pompously. I see Sejanus’s eyes burn with a red anger. I advert my eyes from his and go on explaining. Lucy Gray though, she’s looking at Sejanus. Her eyes don’t reflect the same anger as his, instead hers are filled with something that makes me want to gauge her eyes out. Hope. As if she recognizes what he’s feeling without either of them saying anything. Like they relate.

“So, I get a home of my own? The covey will live with me?” She asks.

See that’s the spirit, gratefulness, something Sejanus could never conjure up.

“Yes.” Highbottom answers. “You’ll be coming with me on the first train out. Say bye to your mentor.”

She turns to me, her eyes watering. Please do not cry Lucy Gray. I’ll have to pretend to care I think to myself. But she does, she throws herself into my arms and I glance around the room for any disapproving looks before hugging her back. Sejanus scoffs. No, Sejanus loudly scoffs. I hug Lucy Gray tightly, she lifts her head, gets on her tiptoes and kisses me. The kiss is deep, like the ruffles in her dress. The kiss is a goodbye to the boy who saved her life—who made her a victor. Gaul lets out a wicked laugh.

“Humans," the doctor sighs out.

Lucy Gray rubs my cheek then leaves with Highbottom. Sejanus must be seething. I can feel his eyes tearing into me as I speak with his parents and Gaul about the money, my future at the University. When all is announced one of the Plinth avoxes bring in bubbly gold drinks. Sejanus declines any of the liquor and Gaul makes her exit. The upcoming festivities are for too human for her.

“You should come over for dinner. To celebrate.” Mr. Plinth suggests. He truly is all Capital now I think to myself. 

“Corio has so much to get done with Dr. Gaul concerning Lucy Gray’s arrangements. I’m sure he is far too busy.” He speaks. He finally picks up a glass, chugging the whole thing in seconds.

I grimace at that damn nickname, and I swear to myself that when we are alone he’ll be dealt with. Right now, I can’t force his lips around my cock to remind him he should only speak when spoken to. 

“No ‘Janus, I always have time for dinner. Especially since your parents have been so kind to us at the Academy.” I say, drinking down the rest of my champagne in contest.

"Great! We’ll leave you boys to the Academy festivities for the day. Come home no later than 9 Sejanus.” His mother warns, leaving the room with her husband in tow.

The Avox stays with us and for moment its presence makes me uncomfortable. Sejanus nods for the Avox to sit down and my body flinches when the thing decides to sit next to me. Sejanus hits my shoulder with warning.

 “Is it yours?” I ask.

“Her name is- “

“Don’t, the things don’t have names for a reason Sejanus.”

Sejanus always must break the rules, always needs to rebel in his own small way. I hear the voice of Grandmam in my head. Telling me the stories of how the rebels killed my father in the tree’s, I recall a smaller me being told of his death. The voices are loud, but they don’t drown out Sejanus’s stupid, senile thoughts.

“Why because they’re from the districts?” He dares.

“No! Because they are traitors, treasonous poison, and a threat to the way of life in Panem. You should know that since your father pointed his weapons against his own district.”

“You’re a piece of fucking work ya’ know that.” He spits in my face before leaving. He nods to his Avox, and they leave, the thing looks back at me before the door shuts. I have won it all today and I’m not going to let Sejanus’s melt down over the name of an Avox ruin my evening.

I go home and celebrate the news with Tigris and Grandmam. I’ve been so disconnected from them that their embraces feel like a relief. Tigris unravels a sheet of chocolate and Grandmam almost passes out at just the sight of the stuff. I can’t contain my excitement either asking if the stuff is real. Tigris breaks off a piece placing it on my tongue just how she fed me bits of food during the dark days. My eyes tear up and I quickly wipe them away.

“It’s okay to cry Corio, you’ve done it.”

I give her a smile and snap a piece off to feed to Grandmam who has sat down out of exhaustion and shock. The things chocolate can do to a woman. Tigris leads me to her room and shows me the outfit she's prepared for my big night. The suit is wonderful. The fabric of the undershirt is a blood red that matches the thick trench coat. My pants, a deep grey that comes off as matte. I hug her, thanking her for things I had almost forgotten about. I change right then and there, letting her fix up the collar.

I’ve been so busy at Gaul’s lab that when I’ve been sleeping there. Dr. Gaul never says anything, but I always wake with a fresh set of clothes or my Academy uniform ironed out. I doubt she’s the one who irons my clothes and sets them out, but I like to think she does. I undress after running my hands over the fabric one too many times, obsessed with the smooth sensation. As I take my shirt off Tigris snags my waist mouth agape.

“What's on your hip?” She asks.

“What?” I ask.

“Did you and Lucy Gray…When did you guys have time?” She presses.

“What? Tigris no.” I am at a loss of words. I want this interaction to end.

“Well, you’ve been gone with Dr. Gaul and Sejanus I didn’t think either of them did it.” She giggles.

I’m not able to shift my face fast enough and her eyes have read into my panic. Sejanus has much to pay for when I see him. 

“Oh?” She steps back. “Are you having sex with Sejanus?” She whispers.

I stutter, god I never stutter, but I stutter terribly trying to explain.

“I-I haven’t lost sight of putting Snow on top. If anything, having sex with their son won me the games and the Plinth Prize. Gaul sort of made me but not really, n-no one told me to do that it just seemed best to subdue him. He went into the arena to give that district thing, Marcus, a funeral and Gaul put his punishment up to me. I couldn’t really think of anything, and he was there, and I was there- “

God I’m rambling and it feels never ending I just want her to say something.

She covers my lips with a finger, “Corio calm down. I’m not upset.” She says in her usual soft tone.

I am. I’m pissed. I’m losing all the composure I’ve conjured up over some sell out from district 2.

“Do his parents know?” Tigri asks.

“Does it matter?” I ask.

“You have to stop answering my questions with more questions.” She laughs.

I sigh. Here I am not judged. Here I am home, with people who must love me through ties thicker than blood.

“I don’t know if they know what I did to him. They do know I was set to punish him for the treason.” I explain.

“Did to him?” She keens.

“He wasn’t exactly; compliant ya know. I didn’t hurt him too bad. I just… I’d rather not explain to you how I had sex with someone.” I say, feeling the heat rise in my face.

“Corio, sex is two people wanting it. Did Sejanus?” Her eyes convey the worry in her voice. Perhaps I am being judged.

“He didn’t exactly say no. I did what I had to Tigris. Gaul wanted him silenced; his parents wanted him to live. He is both now. He’s lucky I’m not in charge, he’d be an Avox.” I shrug. 

There’s a look in Tigris’s eyes I can’t relate to. She looks at me as if I’ve said something heinous. I can’t think about it long because she cusps my cheeks in her hands, placing a kiss on my forehead.

“Have fun tonight, Corio, your classmates are waiting for you. Your future is waiting for you.”

I nod to her, and she begins dressing me. She has a way of placing clothes in the right position, adding just the right layers to make a person look appeasing. I place my black suit shoes that pinch me a tad too tight and step outside. Of course, none of that matters now. Soon I’ll be rid of makeshift clothes and too tight shoes. When I step outside, I am floored to see an all-black car waiting outside. An Avox steps out of the car, opening the backseat door. Sejanus sits, his legs wide instead of crossed. The backseat of the cars seats all face each other. A short stand in the middle holds various colored liquors. Once I’m in the Avox shuts the door. As I take a seat, I notice another Avox who will apparently be sitting in the back seat with us. Grand. A black divider with a sliding window separates us and the driver. I sit across from Sejanus and the silence is loud. I think about the stuff Tigris asked. I felt defensive back there, like I had something to prove. I’ve done enough of that today. His stance, the way he’s staring me down. He is still angry.

“Pour our Capital Victor, Corio, something to drink,” Sejanus tells the Avox.

She pours me a green liquor, something I’ve never seen before. Sejanus has found that I won’t react to the nickname unless we are in private. Yet he is the only one here who sees an Avox as a human being. I take glass poured for me and throw my head back to drink it all in one go. Sejanus smiles.

“Good boy,” he retorts.

My eye twitches or maybe it’s in my head. I’m swift as I get up and wrap a hand around the boy’s throat. His eyes don’t falter. Not a drop of fear in them, only need. His Avox moves the grab me and I almost scream.

“Don’t touch me you…you thing.” My words are thick. I don’t yell but it’s enough for the Avox to sit down and eye Sejanus.

I move my hands to Sejanus’ collar; I pull him to the side, and he moves. I sit where he just was, taking the space for myself. I spread my own legs, unbuttoning my suit pants. Sejanus doesn’t look shocked, just nervous.

“Here?” He asks darting his eyes to the Avox.

“If you stop pretending that thing with no tongue is a human It feels less exposé. Get on your knees.” I command.

He looks to the Avox then back to me, “I can’t.”

“Oh? where’d all that pride go? I know you bluff, but that was a pretty good smoke screen. Is this Avox from back home? Does it call its mother ‘Ma’ too?” I smirk.

Seeing Sejanus like this, a boy with too much money for him to need, uncomfortable and weak is far too satisfying. He mumbles an apology to the Avox, tells her not to watch.

“Knees. Now.” I say growing impatient, “And you,” I point to the Avox, “Watch closely.”

The drink is already making my stomach feel warm. With Sejanus on his knees and my dick out and hard I take his hair into my hands. He pulls away a bit but allows me to get a good grip. He takes me into his mouth, and it takes everything in me not to let out the biggest sigh of relief. He takes me as deep as he thinks he can go but I’ve seen him take me deeper, so I buck my hips as a warning. He gags loudly. That noise. Fuck, I need to hear it again and again. I release his hair and take his face between my hands, gripping tightly. His eyes are filled with lust. I start slow, fucking into his throat with deep and rough strokes. Then I pick it up. Rabidly fucking his mouth until he coughs and spits up. He taps on my thighs, maybe to tell me he can’t breathe, but I know that. I turn my attention to the Avox. Her eyes are wide and filled with tears. I put it together. She knows Sejanus more than either of them was letting on.

“Never seen your classmate this way, huh?” I ask. 

Sejanus tries to say something, but I don’t slow my pace. If anything, I’m fucking into his mouth worse than before. I feel that pit less feeling of pleasure creeping up on me and shove my dick as deep as his throat allows. 

“Fuck! ‘Janus I’m coming. Fuck yes be good for me, take me like a good dog.” I cry out as I cum into the boy’s throat.

My dick pulses wildly inside his mouth, spilling copious amounts of my contents into him. I pull out slowly so he can catch my cum to keep my suit clean. I grab a napkin and wipe down my thighs. He’s heaving and coughing. 

“Well pour him a drink.” I tell the Avox. 

She doesn’t move and I think about how great it’d be to fuck a throat with no true mercy. That’s what it must be like to fuck an Avox’s mouth. 

“I’ve got it Mason,” Sejanus gasps out.

I zip my pants back up and watch him down the liquor. Tonight’s going to be fun.

Chapter 3: A Victors Night

Summary:

Sejanus, Coriolanus, and the academy kids get drunk.
The president of Panem.
And Coriolanus acts a fool.

Mason, so that’s the things name. I look over to Avox, “Did you want some too, Mason?”

Their eyes are teary and if it weren’t for the black cloth covering their nose and lips, I’m sure I’d see a tear-stained face. Sejanus gets off his knees and gives me a glare at my suggestion. The car pulls up to the Presidents Mansion and the driver Avox steps out to open our door. Sejanus lets the Avox leave first which makes me roll my eyes. The weird way he attempts to show care to any and everything that is less than him bothers me in a way I can’t process.

I assume the only reason we are partying at the mansion instead of the usual gathering in the Academy ballroom is because the president’s son is in our graduating class. We walk down the red carpet that’s littered with people cheering and clapping for…me? I guess I did win the games. There is no other Victor here for them to be proud of. Lucy Gray would hate this, she’s too humble, too self-conscientious. I on the other hand, take it all in. I smile and the news reporter, Flickerman, stops his reporting of the event to welcome me.

“Let’s get a picture!” He yells.

He must be drunk. I can smell the liquor when he pulls me and Sejanus on the sides of him. He makes a comment for the Avox to step aside and that’s enough to put a wide smile on my face for the photo.

When we get into the mansion I am in awe. This is more than I had imagined. Sejanus seems unphased which makes sense. His family has been invited more than once to the mansion for various meetings.

“You look good when you’re looking at something you like.” Sejanus smirks.

I look down at him and can’t help but smirk too. I want to tell him I like him and I’d look at him the same if he weren’t so insufferable at times. I refrain, wanting to keep the peace between us as long as I can.

“Guys!” Arachne’s voice rings out.

She comes stumbling over, Felix in tow. Drunk.

“I haven’t seen you two for like the past four. No three, whatever, it’s been long.” She sips the drink in her cup.

“We’ve been working with Dr. Gaul for the next Hunger Games. A bit time consuming.” I explain.

Sejanus stays quiet and I’m glad for that.

“You look good tonight, Sejanus.”

I turn to see Clemensia. Oh god, I forgot about her. She looks me up and down and turns back to Sejanus.

“Mhm, your style is much better than when you first came to the Capital from the districts, but I can’t blame you.” She places a sympathetic hand on Sejanus’s shoulder, “I mean did you see how that Marcus boy was dressed.”

Sejanus just glares. Not angry like he does when he’s with me. He seems genuinely hurt by Arachne’s words. Felix senses the tension and tells us the ballroom has drinks and music. We make our way over but Sejanus excuses himself, taking his Avox with him. I want to follow him then I think about how weird that would look. Plus, I’m sure his Avox will take care of him. When we enter the ballroom there is music playing, I’m not familiar with but the base is full enough to get people moving.

Felix leads us to the other top students. Arachne convinces Clemensia to take shots and it isn’t long before she too is drunk. Felix and Festus have convinced me to chug a bottle of wine.

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” The two boys drunkenly shout out.

I’m hitting the bottom of the bottle when I see Sejanus and his Avox making their way over. I finish the bottle, shaking my head at the wine’s sourness.

“Hell yeah!” Festus cheers.

Arachne comes up behind Felix, her arms splayed on his chest. I see Festus flicker his eyes their way then look away again. What’s that about? Arachne is a wanted woman. Her face sits like a balanced painting in a museum, her beauty is a frameable one. Sejanus says his hello’s and surprisingly everyone greets him better than Arachne had. When he makes it to me, and I’m not sure if it’s the liquor, I want to kiss him.

“Sejanus, why are you dragging that tongueless thing around? Please, tell it to go sit, I’m creeped out.” Arachne slurs.

I am praying to a god if there is one that Sejanus tells the thing to go on. I haven’t the energy for one of his rebel outbursts. He turns to his Avox and with a head nod, sends Mason on her way.

“Are we drinking?” Sejanus asks.

“Hell, we are. Coriolanus just chugged a whole bottle of 5,000-dollar wine.” Festus spills.

Yes, and I am feeling that wine. Feeling it so much that I laugh, and not my usual cold laugh, I laugh like what was said was funny. Clemensia is back and as drunk as the rest of us. She offers her glass to Sejanus who happily takes it. He downs the liquor easily, a drip falling from his lip. The girl laces her hand around Sejanus’s arm. Pulling him to the dance floor. Festus hands him a drink mumbling about how the boy will need it. I’m too drunk to seethe of anger like I usually do but I catch Sejanus’s eyes before he’s lost in the crowd making sure to glare.

We get a table and eat tiny desserts while drinking and talking. Festus and Felix disappear somewhere leaving me with the girls.

“So, you and Sejanus?” Lysistrata quirks her brow.

Arachne’s jaw drops, eating up every moment of new rumor.

I shake my head, not angrily, just taking her words as a joke, “No, it’s a family thing. Since we’ve been working with Gaul we spend more time together. He’s not that bad.” I take another sip of my drink.

“Oh, you two would be cute. You know I swear Festus eyes him too. Wonder what he has that I don’t.” Lysistrata jokes.

“A dick for starters,” Arachne cackles.

The two girls giggle and I try to remember a time Festus came off as gay.

“Festus is gay?” I ask.

The girls laugh harder, Arachne spilling her drink on the table.

“It is true what they say about you Corio.” Lysistrata laughs.

“And what’s that?” I catch myself slurring my words.

“You’re into your studies and nothing else.” Arachne tells.

I guess that’s true. If they were in my position, they’d be the same way. Wait a damn minute. Where the fuck is Sejanus?

“Where’d Clemensia take Sejanus anyway?” I ask trying to sound nonchalant.

Arachne goes to look for them on the dance floor but comes back empty handed. Lysistrata suggests we go up to balcony, so we do. I’ve only ever seen the president here during his speeches. We find the rest of our group up there Felix and Festus smoke on something that gives off a sour cotton candy smell and I don’t bother to ask questions.

“So, you two are up here smoking and didn’t think to tell me.” Arachne says sitting on Felix’s lap.

He exhales his smoke in her mouth and Lysistrata rolls her eyes, “Weirdos,” She says.

I’m still wondering where Sejanus is, but I don’t want to come off as weird, so I just sit on the arm of Festus’s chair. The wind is perfect outside, I’ve never been this drunk and for some reason every interaction I have feels elevated. Felix hands the joint back to Festus and the boy nudges me.

“Want some pretty boy?” Festus offers.

Pretty boy? Maybe the boy is gay. I take the joint and observe it.

“What is it?” I ask.

“Weed,” Felix answers.

I’ve read about it before. The plant grows mostly in districts two and three. I inhale the smoke and exhale with ease.

“Oh, he’s no cougher.” Lysistrata jokes.

Before I can respond Sejanus and Clemensia come bursting through the doors, her lips latched to his and his arm snug around her waist smashing the bodies into each other.

“Oh!” Arachne gasps. “This balcony is occupied you two.”

They pull from each other and Sejanus is laughing until he locks eyes with me. I want to vomit. No, I want to beat someone to pulp. I inhale on the joint again, this time long.

“Sorry, the bathrooms were full.” Clemensia says.

 She plants another kiss on Sejanus’s lips then pulls on him. He sits on the other side of Festus and Clemensia sits on his lap.

What the fuck. I pass the joint to Festus, and he hits it, offering it the group. Lysistrata says she’ll smoke since I am.

“Oh yes, Corio, the beacon of all good in Panem.” Festus jokes.

I barely laugh because now I am genuinely pissed by Sejanus’s presence. I pick up Festus’s drink and ignore his joking pleas for his glass back. I down the whole thing and lock eyes with him.

“What? A pretty boy can’t have a drink?” I smirk.

Festus blushes. Yeah, he’s gay.

“Felix, can you tell your Avox to get us more drinks. Pretty boy here has quite the tolerance to liquor.”

I didn’t even notice the Avox as it steps out of the shadows and through the balcony doors to go find more drinks.

“See Sejanus, that’s how an Avox is supposed to work.” Festus jokingly explains.

Sejanus scoffs, “My Avox is new, just trying to get her used to the scenery.”

“Yeah, my Avox was one of the few captured from district thirteen. The thing has an idea of the scenery already.” Felix laughs.

I’m hoping the subject changes because Sejanus is not laughing like the rest of us. Instead, the look in his eyes is forming again. That look that screams, “I’m district”, “I’m a part of that litter”. I stand.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom, anyone else?” I ask.

I am hoping Sejanus takes the hint.

“I’m good.” He speaks.

Festus stands, “Yeah I’ll go, don’t drink all the liquor when it gets here Felix and Arachne.” He points at the two.

I am okay but Festus stumbles through the crowd and once he bumps into too many people I take his hand. When we get to the bathrooms, I smooth my hair over in the mirror before dipping into the stall. Festus can’t help but check himself out in the mirror, not bothering to pee. I come out and he’s throwing some water over his face. I stand behind him and look down at his ass. Not bad.

“Hot?” I ask, leaning against the wall.

He turns to me, looking me up and down, “No, you?”

I bite my lip, what am I doing. Am I flirting with Festus Creed right now?

“Not at all.” I speak.

He steps toward me, looking up at me in a way Sejanus would. I snatch the boy’s body into my own. I kiss him hard. At first, he can’t keep up with the way I’m biting and sucking on his mouth. Soon enough he gets in the groove, and I can feel his boner pressing on my thigh. I pull us into a stall a tear off his pants.

“How do you like it?” I pant.

“Inside me,” he whispers back.

I place my fingers inside his mouth. He sucks them perfectly like he has done this all before.

“Mmm.” He moans around my fingers.

I push my digits deeper into his mouth. Testing him. He gags but then swallows around my fingers.

“So fucking obedient for me.” The words slip off my lips.

For a moment I’m embarrassed then Festus nods his head, moaning. I never thought of Festus like this, it must be the alcohol. I pull my fingers out of his mouth and lock his lips to mine. He licks into my mouth and the taste of smoke and liquor drowns my senses.

I hear the bathroom door open and immediately pull away.

“Corio?” I hear a voice call out.

Festus pulls his pants up and straightens himself out. We both step out of the stall to see Sejanus.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Sejanus asks.

Festus speaks up, “Making out, what does it look like. What? Is the Avox back.”

“Yeah, they are, Felix sent me looking for you.” Sejanus explains to Festus.

I’m glad Festus is drunk, or he would have realized that Sejanus was not talking to him when he asked what we were doing. Felix winks at me then leaves me and Sejanus alone.

“So, you just fuck anything that walks?” Sejanus asks.

“We,” I point back and forth between us, “Are not a thing. I don’t owe you some explanation. And I didn’t fuck him.”

“Just got close to it?” Sejanus asks. He’s purposefully ignoring me telling him I don’t owe him an explanation.

“Janus I’m drunk, please cut out all the questions.”

Sejanus steps to me, pushing me against the wall, “You told me I was yours this morning. Then as soon as you get around your friends you act like I’m your lab partner.”

Did he want me to tell them that I fucked him as punishment for a crime they didn’t get to witness when Gaul cut the feed. I look down to him our eyes locking.

“Sejanus,” I can’t finish my sentence because we are kissing, lips locking tight.

Sejanus grips at my waist, pressing his wide hands into my hip bone. I feel wetness on my cheeks and pull back.

“Are you crying?” I ask.

He looks to his side, wiping his face off.

“This is over, okay?” Sejanus says.

He walks away without letting me get another word in. I try to grasp at his arm, but he yanks it away. I follow him out of the bathroom and notice he’s going back to the damned balcony. I straighten myself up before stepping through the balcony doors. Everyone’s still out here smoking, drinking, and laughing. A few people have added to the crowd, Heavensbee and Persephone. Sejanus is back to making out with Clemensia on the side of the balcony and I stifle the need to tell the little slut of a girl that his lips were just on my own. I sit down and try to get back in the flow.

“Welcome back pretty boy.” Festus flickers a smile at me.

Felix laughs, “Stop flirting with him you’re going to make him regret loosening up around us.”

I look to Felix rolling my eyes, “It’s not like I don’t speak to you guys,”

“Right, you just don’t come to our houses, hang out after school, or study with any of us.” Lysistrata says. She’s picked up a slur of her own and it’s got me wondering why they let kid’s drink.

“Except for district 2 over there,” Arachne says, nodding her head to Sejanus.

I pick up an orange bubbly drink and sip it, “His family does have more money than yours and Festus’s combined.” I laugh.

“Pretty boys got jokes.” Felix laughs.

Arachne jokingly hits him, “Hey Sejanus, Clemmie, come here and stop making out.”

The two walk over but Clemensia, that bitch saunters. Arachne comments on her walk and how hot she looks tonight. I want to kill her. Her and Sejanus take a seat. God Sejanus looks heavenly. His eyes catch the lights of the stars perfectly and the way he sits his legs open makes me want to shove him between my own.

“We were just talking about district two.” Arachne slurs.

“Oh really?” Sejanus asks.

The others can’t sense it, but he is being sarcastic. We are all on the same balcony and I am sure he heard us a few moments ago.

“Yeah, what was it like over there? Had to be gruesome a tad.” Arachne drawls on.

“It was nice somedays; I lived in a different part than others. Can’t speak for them all.” He speaks.

“Do you miss it?” Lysistrata asks.

“No.” Sejanus says, leaning up to grab another drink.

“Any party games you got for us from two?” Felix asks.

They are way too loose around this conversation, and I wish they weren’t drunk because they wouldn’t even be talking to him this much.

“Yeah, we used to play spin-the-bottle, you spin a bottle and whoever it lands on, you kiss.” He explains.

“Well let’s play.”

It takes a few moments for Felix’s Avox to find an empty bottle and the game ensues. Felix goes first and the bottle lands of Heavensbee. Heavensbee laughs, leaning into Felix and giving him a nasty peck.

“Jesus Hilarius, you gave me a fucking bath.” Felix laughs, wiping his mouth off.

Hilarius has always been quite the character. He’s too goofy for his esteemed family and far too kind for the Capital culture.

“Your turn,” Arachne eyes me.

I spin the bottle praying it somehow defies physics and flies off the table. Of course it lands on Clemensia.

“I’m okay.” I say, leaning back into my seat.

“That’s not how the game works, Corio.” Sejanus speaks up.

“You can kiss her if she needs a kiss so badly.” I know it sounds rude. Far from what how I usually talk in front of my classmates.

“I don’t want to kiss him either.” Clemensia bites.

“Sure you don’t.” It slips out of my mouth.

“I don’t.” She responds.

“Whatever you say Clemmie.” I sigh, taking a drink. I go to spin the bottle again and she grabs my hand. I look at her, and she’s staring straight into my eyes already.

Arachne is enjoying the show, smirking and giggling with her glass in front of her face. Sejanus looks scared, maybe because he’s seen sides of me other haven’t.

“You’re a dick Coriolanus Snow. You’re not above anyone.” She hisses.

I want to hit her. It feels like the only thing that’ll make me feel less disrespected in this moment. Sejanus moves to grab her waist and pull her back to her seat.

“Don’t.” I look at him to let him know my words mean business.

I snatch Clemensia’s face, pressing my lips to her own. She barely puts up a fight btu maybe because of the tight grip I have on her hair. My classmates, laugh, whoop, and Arachne goes on about how she needs to be kissed like that. Tears are welled up in the girls’ eyes when I pull away.

“There,” I say, “Happy?”

She grabs her purse from Sejanus’s lap and leaves. Sejanus still looks shocked, but I feel relief when he doesn’t go chasing after the girl.

“Coriolanus my parents are expecting us back at nine, we should head out.” Sejanus speaks, barely audible.

“Yeah, whatever. Nice seeing you guys. See you Monday at the graduation.” I stand up and turn to give Festus a kiss on the cheek. The boy smirks.

Walking through the party is hell. Capital people lose all sense of the composure when liquor is in the room. Sejanus walks behind me, trying to keep up with my pace. When we are finally outside of the mansion I take a deep breath. Sejanus asks if I am okay, but I don’t respond. My mind feels blurred and all I can think about is how many drinks I’ve had. When his car pulls up, I let Sejanus take my hand and lead me into the car.

“I can’t eat like this.” I mutter.

“I’ll tell my parents we’d rather just head to bed. I’m sure they’ll understand.” He speaks.

I can’t help but lean onto him. The car ride is bumpy with all the construction going on in the city. Without the music and laughing people being drunk feels sad. My mind drifts off to my childhood then back to my present. Eventually my head is on his lap. He must’ve told his Avox to ride in the front because I don’t see it. I roll over so that my face is facing Sejanus’s stomach.

He places a hand on my face and rubs my cheek with his thumb. I let him. I let him because I hate him like I hate myself. I want him to be better like I want myself to be. I sit up so our faces are close enough for him to dip down and kiss me. He does. I love it. He grabs on to my hip again, pulling me on top of him. He’s already hard. Our kiss is lazy, both of us too drunk to go all out. Sejanus breaks our kiss, catching his breath

“Corio,” he huffs.

“Janus?” I pant back.

“I want you. I want you make me yours tonight, only yours.” He’s cusping face in his hand as he tells me.

“I will Janus, I will.” I promise.

The car stops. I climb off him. Once we get to the door, which an Avox knocks on for us, I realize we’d been holding hands. I slowly let go and Sejanus lets me.

“You don’t have a key?” I ask.

“No, I lost it too many times, my ‘ma gave up.” He admits.

“How do you lose a house key?”

“We don’t use them in the districts, no point really.” He explains.

The door swings open. An Avox steps aside to let us in. I take my shoes off and Sejanus helps me out of my jacket.

“You two are late!” I hear a voice shout from the kitchen. I smell food. Something I good and something I want to eat.

“You hungry?” Sejanus asks.

I nod. We make our way to the table and to my absolute shock Mr. and Mrs. Plinth are accompanied by The President of Panem.

“Sir.” I nod my head to him.

“Coriolanus Snow. Sejanus.” He says in greeting.

We take a seat and Strabo Plinth resumes his conversation about district thirteen. Mrs. Plinth makes us plates and I can’t help but immediately dig in. I keep some composure, but my hungriness does not go unnoticed.

The president laughs, “You two must’ve drank a lot tonight.”

Oh he doesn’t even know the half of it. I nod since my mouth is full.

“Coriolanus drank a whole a bottle of wine.” Sejanus jokes.

His parents’ eyes go wide but I choke on the rice I was just finishing swallowing.

“As a bet, of course…” Sejanus drifts.

“Felix?” The president suggests, sipping his wine.

I smile, “Yes sir, him and Festus. They are quite the duo.”

“Well, you two must be tired. Coriolanus would you like to sleep in the guest room?” His mom asks.

“No, he’ll be fine in my bedroom.” Sejanus speaks.

In my head I am thankful for the night to be over with no awkward encounters with the president of Panem. Sejanus takes my plate and places it on top of his own.

“Leave it Sejanus the Avox will get it.” His father says.

Oh, that’s where that thing has been. Sejanus’s personal Avox, Mason, is standing the corner. Her hands clasped together, and head tilted to the floor.

“I’ve got it Pa.” He mumbles.

“Leave. It.” His father repeats.

Sejanus does as he told and the Avox comes to take the plates. Personally, I feel the tension in the room.

“It must feel weird having an Avox do everything for you, but trust me, they need something to do.” The president explains.

Oh god. Please do not say that. Not to Sejanus, not while he’s drunk, not while I’m drunk. I look to Sejanus to read the boy.

“Yes,” his voice is quiet, almost like he’s making sure he doesn’t say more, “Come on Coriolanus.”

His father raises a hand, and I begin to feel this night will never end.

“Wait for the Avox, your room isn’t clean.” His father speaks.

Sejanus’s head turns so quickly I think he might snap it, “The Avox can get it in the morning. I’m really, really, tired.” He says. I Take his second “really” as a threat to his father.

Sejanus is a rebel, and rebels don’t have short tempers.

“Sejanus, listen to your father. The presidents here, behave.” She giggles, cutting the tension between her two relatives.

“Oh please, I am entertained. I’ve never lived in the wild districts but if I had, I’m sure I too would find our way of life bizarre. Comfortable, but bizarre. How about you Coriolanus?”

“I’ve never even had a nightmare about living in the districts. Let alone think about the place beyond school assignments.” I answer. Sejanus must want to kill me right now.

“I’ve seen your test scores, even read some of your papers. Especially the ones pertaining to future Hunger Games. I want to know what you think about something.” The president keens.

I nod for him to go on. Sejanus sits back down and out of the corner of my eye I see him glaring at his father.

“I’ve been thinking about putting in place Quarter Quells to keep the Victors in line.” He explains.

That is a great idea, is what I want to say. Those words may lead to me sleeping on Sejanus’s floor instead of being inside him. Though, this is the president. A plate shatters before I can respond. Sejanus and his father both stand and then Sejanus sits back down. Part of me was hoping he’d go with his dad so I can speak freely.

“I think that’s a good idea. Victors are winners but they are still district. It’s a way to continue to remind them of the position they’re in.” I respond.

“And you, Sejanus?  Coming from there, do you think it’ll work out that way?” He asks.

I grip onto Sejanus’s thigh as a plea. A plea for him to behave.

“No. I don’t. I don’t think torturing people subdues them. Only starts a fire that you can’t put out.” He stands up. “I’ll show you to the guest room Coriolanus, I’m feeling more tired than I thought.” He heads for the stairs.

I mumble thank you’s and follow him. Once we’re upstairs I grab at his arm.

“Sejanus I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to say.” I’m lying.

“Yes, you did. You said exactly what you think. That’s why you throw me around like a rag doll,” He yanks from my grasp.

“Okay, yes, I said what I was thinking. But you know this about me, you know who I am.” I place my hand on his face how he did mine in the car.

“I keep thinking I can change you, make you see that people don’t have to be bad.” He whispers to me. “I can’t,”

I don’t care about good and bad. I only want money, power, and my families name restored. I think Sejanus would vomit if he heard me say those words.

“I’m sorry.” That sounds much better. “Let us go to your room. You’re tense I can fix it.”

He kisses me, “Yeah, let’s go.”

When we get into his room his Avox is finishing cleaning.

“I’m sorry Mason, todays been a lot. If you want you can sleep in my room, we’ll take the guest.” He offers.

The Avox nods.

“It’s safe here.” Sejanus says. I have no idea what he means.

“No, I am fine. Just tired. The cots with the rest of us will do.” The Avox says.

I jump and for the first time in a long time I audibly gasp. Sejanus’s Avox can speak. The tongue has not been cut out. When she leaves, I question Sejanus about it, but he tells me its better left alone.

“Are you gonna get undressed?” He asks me.

Sejanus has only seen me naked once and he was completely out of his mind, and I was out of mine to allow that.

“You don’t have to in front of me. I’ll run the bath then you can get in, I won’t even see you.” He says, sensing my hesitance.

Sejanus goes to run the bath and when he comes back out, I enter.

Chapter 4: A Victors Night: Part 2

Summary:

Sex and a sprinkle of feelings.

I sink into the bath and call for Sejanus. He comes in, already undressed. Like the night we first fucked I take in his body. I like what I see. His bath is wide and long, made of a thick porcelain. There’s a seat like thing inside the bath that I rest my head on. He dips himself into the bath next to me, taking a deep sigh.

“You and your dad really don’t get along, huh?”

“Yeah, he’s uhm, very Capital, a lot like you.”

His eyes are shut so doesn’t see the side eye I shoot to him. I don’t want to argue so I just hum in agreement. We sit like that for a while until I feel Sejanus nibbling at my neck. The hot water and Sejanus’s lips on my body release all tension I previously had. I let a moan slip my lips as his nibbles become bites.

“Want you Corio.” He whispers.

I allow the nickname. I am far too drunk and far too happy to care. He kisses me, slipping his tongue inside my mouth. I’m lazily kissing back but I want him just as bad. His legs shift so that he’s a top of me and all it takes is his ass hitting my dick for me to get hard. He leans on top of me, placing his neck on my lips.

“Ask me, ask me for what you want.” I tell him.

“Want you mark me up, need it.” The boy says breathlessly.

I bite hard into his neck, sucking like my life depends on it. He takes my dick into his hand, jerking it harshly. He moans into my ear and soon there’s a gorgeous symphony of slick sucking noises and his pitchy moans. I grab his neck, choking him lightly.

“I need to be inside you.” I whisper.

He nods his head. I sit up so that my head isn’t on the bathtubs seat but instead my back. I grasp his ass cheek and open him up.

“Need me to finger you?” I ask.

He shakes his head ‘no’, “Just take me as I am.”

“I don’t need to hurt you to get off Sejanus.” I say.

“I need you to, feels good when you’re rough with me.” He avoids eye contact when he tells me this.

“Okay, I’ll make you feel good.”

I slide myself into him and there’s resistance. He groans, shutting his eyes tight. I make sure not to take my eyes off him. The scenery before me is majestic and I do not intend to miss a bit of it. I finally get my tip into him and that’s when he breaks. His head falls onto my shoulder and his breath is hot and heavy. His teeth clamp onto my shoulder and I wrap my fingers around his neck again. I use my grip to pull him back so that I can see his face. He chokes on his breath.

“Keep your eyes on me baby.” I tell him.

I don’t give myself time to think about the nickname I just called him. He pushes down on me and moves my hand from his ass to let him. I groan and I let go of his neck. His warmth is encasing me, and I already feel so close. I buck my hips, and Sejanus places a hand to keep me down. He places his other hand on my chest and begins bouncing on my cock. I try to control the noises I let slip out of my mouth, but I can’t. The way he’s gripping around me along with the faces he’s making is sending me into oblivion.

He picks his pace up, shaking the water around us, I take hold of his neck again. I pull us into a kiss and when I pull back a trail of saliva draws between us.

“You taste so good baby.” I tell him.

He grovels at the name call, giving me more moans in return. I lift us up so that I can get deeper inside him. He tells me to keep hitting a spot and I try to keep the angle. I can feel my dick throbbing inside him, begging for release. I toss my head back in pure bliss.

He whines, shutting his eyes tight, “I’m so close Coriolanus, so fucking close.”

I snatch his hands off me, letting our chests collide. I wrap my arms around him and fuck into his body.

“Ah ah ah! Corio, please, oh fuck I can’t. I’m gonna come.” He whines into my ear.

I can feel myself getting close as well and him tightening onto me as he reaches his climax only pushes me closer. I clench my teeth and pick my pace up. I’m hammering into the boy and he’s clawing at my back. He grinds as much as he can onto my thrusts.

“I’m cumming,” Is all I’m able out breathe out as I spill into him. I feel his body clench and he’s cumming then too. He cries out into my neck that he’s been biting and sucking it.

We stay like this for a while, me inside of him and him panting. Just like the last time. Only this time I’m not regretting the things I’ve done. He finally sits up. The bubbles are gone, and I am immediately thinking about how Sejanus can see my whole body. He runs his hands across my chest.

“You’re- “He begins.

“Skinny, I know,” I finish his sentence.

“No, I was going to say gorgeous.” He tells me. I don’t like the feeling his words give me. Whatever it is I want it to stop.

“We should head to bed. It’s so late.” I say.

“No more sweet Coriolanus for me,” He mumbles.

He slides off me and I groan at just the feeling. I grab his waist before he can leave the tub.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask.

“You know what I mean. You’re not the same when you’re not trying to get in my pants. That’s fine though, maybe that’s another thing I can’t change about you.” His eyes do not reflect his words.

I need to tell him how I think and stop being afraid of him judging me. For fucks sake he has an Avox who can talk I don’t think he’s going to hate me for wanting more in life.

“That isn’t how I feel. It’s just when I’m with you in this way I’m not trying to be the best at anything.” I confess.

“How come you don’t like me seeing your body?”

Shit.

“After the uhm, the war, my dad died. He was our patriarch and he uh,” I look down, “He didn’t leave anything behind. That’s why I needed to get good grades, then win the games, then win your father’s prize. I don’t eat a lot if it isn’t at school or events.” I explain.

“I know what hunger looks like; I grew up knowing it. I’ve always known Corio, doesn’t make me think of you different.” He says.

This all feels too easy. Of course, the tightness in my chest is prevalent. I can’t shake the shame that comes with my position in life. Yet still, Sejanus’s soft eyes bring me a different peace. We get into bed soon after. I’m wearing one of Sejanus’s thick sweaters as I hold him. His head rests right under my chin and before I know it, I’m sleep.

Notes:

Comment your thoughts! This is the end of Chapter 3 by the way :) Thanks for reading.

Chapter 5: Paradox

Summary:

Coriolanus is hung over, no one cares though.
Featuring the Plinth family crashing out.
No smut because Sejanus is lowkey losing his mind and Coriolanus is highkey at fault.

When I wake up, regret washes over my body. I turn to Sejanus, who is soundly sleeping. His eyelashes are so long. The way he breathes is majestic, and I almost feel like going back to bed when I hear his door open. I spring up.

“Breakfast is ready, Sejanus—oh…” His mother is frozen at the door, her words cut off by what she’s seeing.

I’m trying to think of [any] possible way to explain this. My brain is still foggy, and I am beginning to regret ever drinking last night. His mother turns her head back, then steps in and closes the door.

“Sejanus!” she yells.

He rolls around, landing with his head on my chest. “Corio, hush. I’m tired.”

His mother is seething, her hands clenched at her waist. I want to say something—anything—but I am frozen. Sejanus lazily sits up, rubbing his eyes. I hit his chest, and he finally opens his damn eyes.

“Sejanus Aelius Plinth! What are you doing?” his mother yells, throwing the rag in her hand towards us.

“I’ll go,” I say, beginning to get up.

“No. You stay right there.” She points to me.

I obey because there is nowhere, I am eager to head to right now. Sejanus and his mother’s arguing ensues. He tries to convince her nothing is happening between him and me, all while she reprimands him for thinking she would be stupid enough to believe the words coming out of his mouth. I just sit there, turning my head toward whichever of the two Plinths is talking at the time. His mother grows tired of the back and forth. She cuts Sejanus off by—

“Both of you!” she says, pointing to us. “Get dressed and be down for breakfast before I send your father up.”

With that, she turns around and slams the door behind her.

“I should go,” I say.

Sejanus turns to me slowly, and for the first time, I see the boy as terrifying. “Really, Corio?”

“Yes, really. Your mom just lost her mind on us. Dinner was awkward as hell from what I can remember, and I swear I dreamt that the President was there!” I’m yelling, but for once I am not angry.

“That wasn’t a dream. He was there,” Sejanus mumbles.

“Oh, just great.” I put my head into my hands.

The longer I am awake, the worse my headache is getting. I want to leave, but Sejanus’s response to me even thinking about it has made me think twice. I watch Sejanus get dressed and barely move.

“You don’t have to come down to eat, Corio,” he says.

“Please, do not call me that, Sejanus,” I tell him.

He nods. “Just lay back down. I’ll deal with my Ma over breakfast,” he explains.

I nod. I want to tell him I’m sorry. I really do not like being called Corio, yet I don’t mind it when Sejanus does it—which somehow makes me mind it more. He climbs onto the bed.

“What’s wrong? I thought last night we really got somewhere,” he whispers.

I don’t know the answer, and honestly, far too much has happened since I opened my eyes. I let him take my face into his hand, and our hands fall on each other’s. Sure, last night we had sex far more consensually than we had the first time. I can’t think about that right now, though. All I truly want is for Sejanus to stop prying at me.

“You can leave if you want. I’m not holding you hostage,” he goes on.

That’s the weird part. I don’t want to go home. I want to stay in bed with a quiet Sejanus. Of course, Sejanus won’t shut up until I respond.

“Go eat. I’ll be here,” I respond.

With that, Sejanus plants a kiss on my lips and leaves. I lie back down and am consumed by the smell of Sejanus’s blankets. I close my eyes and allow the honey and lavender scents to send me back to sleep. My dreams are filled with making out with Festus Creed and pushing Clemensia down a flight of stairs. I wake up after “pushing” her and can’t seem to get back to bed. I find myself wandering around Sejanus’s room since sleep isn’t on the table anymore. His dresser is cream-colored, just like all the furniture in his home.

The boy has two closets in his room: one that slides open and one that you can walk into. The walk-in closet is almost as big as my bedroom. The whole closet is color-coded except for a portion of grey and brown clothes folded on a shelf instead of hanging up. I sift through the clothes, and I can’t help but tell these clothes are not from the Capitol. No, these are District 2 clothes made for a starving teenager. Next to the clothes are small trinkets and a letter. I tell myself I shouldn’t be looking at this, but I do anyway. I unfold the letter. The ink is smudged but still readable.

To: My love, Sejanus
From: Apicata, your only love

I roll my eyes before I even read the rest. Who names their child Apicata? I mean, seriously, do the people in the districts even like their children? Then I think longer, harder—I know an Apicata. I can’t remember from where, and I blame it on the drinks. Those stupid fucking drinks.

I have reached the Capitol. I am giving this letter to a Peacekeeper who will hopefully deliver it in one piece. Everything is so different here. The people shove their faces with food and have no shame in leaving the table with food still on it. I am trying to fit in, but I do not believe that will ever happen. This city is scorned by the war; they see me as a product of that. I don’t mean to scare you. I know your father is in talks with the Capitol about coming here. I would love that, maybe then I won’t be so alone. With my Ma and Pa dead, I could use you here. I miss the feeling of your lips on mine—

I stop reading. I’m not sure why I assumed I was Sejanus’s first kiss, first everything for that matter, but I am thoroughly pissed that he’s kissed someone else.

I miss the feeling of you inside me and sometimes I try to entertain the thought of loving someone else the way I loved you. I just can’t. I need you here with me. This city is grim and filled with vengeful people. They hang people who betrayed the Capitol during the war in the town square almost every day. I sometimes wish my parents hadn’t arranged for me to be here. I feel ungrateful, I could be a pick in what they are now calling The Hunger Games, instead I am sitting here in my mansion, with plenty of food and hot baths. Take one for me, a bath, even if it’s cold. Touch yourself and think of me, soon it’ll be my hands on your body. I love you always, Sejanus. See you soon.

I want to burn the paper. Crumple it up and flush it down the toilet so that he will never see it again. I wonder how many times Sejanus reads this letter. I begin plotting how to kill this Apicata boy. I could figure out who he is and if he isn’t rich enough, I am sure I could propose he be used for one of Gaul’s experiments. I hear his door open and fold the paper back as best as I remember, tucking it into the shelf with the rest of his trinkets.

“What are ya doin’?” I hear his voice ask.

“Got bored, started looking around. Also, it’s ‘what are you doing.’ You must stop talking like that.” I am trying to play the obvious off.

There is a loud silence between us, and I assume he knows I saw it, so I drop the act and ask, “Who is Apicata?” I regret the words as soon as they fly out of my mouth. Sejanus’s mouth falls agape and his thick, beautiful, eyebrows furrow.

“Excuse me?” Sejanus asks. “Did you go through my stuff from back home?” He sounds genuinely offended.

I feel my face flush with heat. “Yes, but it was purely out of curiosity, Sejanus,” I say, standing up from the spot I was squatted in.

“Sure, which is why you’re asking me who Apicata is, right?” he says.

“Sejanus, my love,” I mimic, placing my hand over my heart, “Of course I am going to ask about some girl who writes to you like that,” I explain.

“Apicata is a boy. You should know him, he was hung last year in the square,” Sejanus says as he turns to leave the closet.

I cringe at myself. Why oh why do I always fail to read the room? It’s as if my social skills are useless on the district boy. I follow Sejanus out of the closet-like room.
“Janus, I didn’t know. I don’t gather at the square with all the sadists when I hear someone’s getting hung.”

I don’t care for the boy Sejanus, and I are speaking of. I am only wishing he hadn’t caught me. He furiously begins making his bed. He snatches all the sheets off and begins placing new ones down. I try to grab on to an end of the sheet to help, and he snatches it out of my grasp.

“You should know.” He glares at me. “You should have seen it. It was my first day in the Capitol. I saw him that morning, he told me he was in trouble but that he didn’t want to talk about it. He said he just wanted to be with me... Said he just wanted to kiss me until he can’t no more,” Sejanus says, ending the sentence with a harsh scoff.

I try to ignore his lack of grammar for the sake of the story. He tucks the end of the sheet under the bed. “We just laid in his bed, talking about everything we missed out on in each other’s lives. I told him about how scared I was of the Academy kids and how guilty I felt leaving home. He told me I was right to be scared.” He looks at me now, his eyes filled with sorrow.

“Apicata was so off... he said to me, ‘Sejanus, you have got to be quiet here. You must shrink yourself. Anyone too loud, anyone too different gets their tongues cut out.’ I don’t think he was being literal. I think he meant they die. He was quite poetic. When they put him in the square,” he sighs, breaking our eye contact to wipe the tears away that have welled in his eyes.

“I had only been walking by.” He continues, “My father took me that way on our walk on purpose. He said he wanted to show me that the Capitol was where we had to be.”

He shuts his eyes now, his jaw is clenched tight and finally I witness pain—anger—true anger, on Sejanus’s face. His eyebrows are furrowed, and his breath is shaky. I want to touch him, cup his face in my hands. It’s so comforting when he does it to me.

“Apicata was blindfolded, and I am grateful for that. He didn’t have to see the smiles and laughs on people’s faces as they cut his tongue out. All he could do was scream after that. My father held me there, I watched as they slit his stomach open and strung his body up.” He runs his hand over his throat as if to get out the rest of the story he is trying to tell me.

I’m uncomfortable. Sejanus is always doing this, taking me out of my comfort zone and putting me in the position to think of how to get back there. I try to stay in the moment and listen to him.

“He died gagging on his own blood. I cried. Cried so hard I threw up. Or maybe I threw up because of how disgusting the scene before me was. I don’t know, I don’t care.” He sits down on his now made bed.

“When I saw you in Gaul’s office, the look you gave me, I just knew I had finally done it. Finally earned my tongue being cut out.” He looks at me again. “Then you, ya know, I was so relieved to be forced to have sex with you. The whole time I kept thinking you’d kill me. I guess you could have, crowd or not, the Capitol doesn’t punish murder. They only punish difference.”

He takes a deep breath, running his thick hands through his messy curls. “I know what you’re thinking, Coriolanus—”

“No, you don’t.” I tell him, cutting him off. “I don’t even know what I’m thinking.”
That’s the most honest I have been with him. I truly have no idea what to think of that. It sounds terrible.

“Was he a rebel?” I ask, trying to make sense of such a brutal execution.

“Would that make it better for you?” His question is genuine.

“I don’t know, it would make sense maybe,” I tell him.

“You remind me so much of him. He wasn’t a rebel. He was power-hungry, driven, focused, and of course attractive. For a district boy, he flew too close to the sun and that, Coriolanus, is a crime. Punishable by public humiliation and death.” He’s speaking like Lucy Gray now. His words laced with riddles for me to undress.

“Come here,” I tell him.

I lay on my back and pat my chest. He hesitates but lies his head on me, exhaling deeply as if he’s been holding his breath. I rub his back how Tigris would rub mine when I ran to her cot complaining of nightmares. We stay like this until noon, both awake but neither of us moving much. I almost doze off, but his Avox knocks on the door then enters. She shuts the door behind her.

“Sejanus,” she says.

I’m still in disbelief that the thing can talk. Sejanus sits up and raises his eyebrows, beckoning her to go on.

“Your father is upset. Your mother says it’s best Coriolanus go home for now.” She tells him.

“Tell him to kiss my ass,” Sejanus says then lies back down.

“I can’t,” she responds.

So, Sejanus is the only one who knows the thing can speak? He gets up and walks past the Avox, out of his room. I hear his heavy steps fade away and I know he will be going to give his father a piece of his mind.

Me and the Avox just look at each other. Today has been strange and now I’m looking at this traitor who still holds their tongue. I pursue asking it how that came to be, because why the hell not?

“Trade me, a question for a question,” it says.

“Sure.” I shrug. I am far too interested in this thing to turn down the offer. Plus, what could she possibly ask me that is of importance?

“Do ya love him?” she asks.

“‘Ya’ is not a word, and no,” I answer.

She hums. “Apicata is my brother. Apicata and Sejanus were…” The thing doesn’t finish its sentence.

“I know what they were,” I tell it.

“Lovers. That’s what I was going to say,” the Avox finishes.

My jaw clenches. I’m sure I will dream about killing—what was its name again? Mason. I am sure I will dream of killing Mason in my sleep. I am overly aggravated at her line of questioning. At the same time, I want to know why she wants to know if I do or don’t love him. I don’t ask. The two of us sit in silence, as it should be, until Sejanus bursts through the door. I fly up off the bed, my eyes following him. Seconds later his dad comes through the door. I am dressed in his son’s clothes from head to toe. Yet, his dad ignores me completely. He points to the Avox and roughly nods his head toward the door. She leaves swiftly.

“Do not walk away from me when I am talking to you!” he yells at Sejanus.

“Maybe talk to me like I’m a human being and I will!” Sejanus yells back.

I want nothing more than to disappear once again. His mother follows shortly after, shouting at her husband to let it go. What “it” is, who knows. Who cares. Sejanus pulls out our Academy-assigned duffle bag and starts shoving random clothes into it.

“You are not going back to that hotel! You graduate in a few days, you need to be home, honey,” his mother tells him.

“No! Let him! I don’t want to be near him, graduating or not!” his father yells.

“Strabo, he is your son,” his mother speaks through gritted teeth.

“No son of mine is this soft, this fickle! You’re lucky you aren’t in the square.”

Those are the last words that leave Strabo’s mouth before Sejanus is turning around and shoving his dad to the ground. Sejanus grabs his father’s collar.

“Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you think I know that! Apicata, Mason, Marcus—they remind me every fucking day! I am your son whether you like it or not—rebel, District 2, gay, I am yours, Strabo.” His voice is venomous as he yells at his father.

His mother begins to cry, and I stand up. I yank Sejanus off his father, whispering for him to calm down. Once Sejanus is off him, he yanks from my grasp, giving me a look of disgust. He zips his bag up and leaves. His mother chases after him. I am floored. Drained even, which is hard to do to me. I reach out a hand to help Mr. Plinth up, and he takes it, thanking me. All this chaos in such a glamorous, comfortable home is quite the paradox.

“Mason!” Mr. Plinth calls out. In seconds she shows up.

“Is he gone, yes, or no?” he asks her.

The Avox nods.

“Go to my hotel and stay with him,” he orders.

The Avox disappears without a word.

“I’ll arrange a ride home for you,” he tells me.

“Thank you, sir. Are you okay?” I ask.

“Yes. If you take anything away from today, it’s to not have children.”

And with that, he walks away.

Notes:

As usual, comment and tell me what ya think. Ty for the likes and comments! I post almost every 24 hours. Later today I'll post another chapter.

Chapter 6: Fix Me

Summary:

Mini-time jump.
Coriolanus can't decide whether to be kind or evil.
Sejanus wants nothing to do with him.

Notes:

I had a crazy day my bad for posting this hours late. I am finishing up editing the next one so I'll upload that one in a few hours.
As usual, comment, tell me if you think it's meh or mwah.

It has been six days since I last saw Sejanus. It was required for me to see him at graduation so maybe it doesn’t count. I graduated as Valedictorian of my class, Sejanus, being my runner up, graduated as Salutatorian. He sat right beside me at graduation, but he chose not to speak to me. We gave our class speech together. I felt his hand on mine for the first time since he stormed out of his house when we accidentally tried to grab the mic at the same time. I even looked at him when I spoke about our class making history as the first to have a boy from the districts graduate at the prestigious school. His eyes bore into mine. For a second I couldn’t figure out why. Then I remembered Apicata. I guess he was the first, but that history has been erased from our history.

 

When Sejanus’s turn to talk came he expressed his absorbent gratefulness for being accepted by the Capital people of Panem. Our classmates and teachers giggle when he says that. They mean no harm truly, they just all know it isn’t true. To Sejanus them knowing does not matter. I know and he knows what he. He went on about our futures and how none of them will be dim. When we sat down, I whispered to him that I’d like to talk. He just kept on looking forward.

Afterwards his parents stopped me, Tigris, and Grandmam. Mr. Plinth handed me a thin envelope, I thanked him. They invited us to dinner and Sejanus was quick to say he had plans and wouldn’t be home anyways.

 

I went home feeling defeated. Over dinner with Tigris and Grandmam, which was cabbage, and some left over chicken stock, I decided to open the envelope. A check. It was a check with more zeros than I could have imagined. I’ve done it father and I wish you here to see it—the glory that is falling over our family. I wish he could see snow falling on top. We celebrate by going grocery shopping. We grab so many things that Tigris gives an excuse to the merchant that we are stocking up for summer. We passed Sejanus’s house as we drove in the taxi, we bought to take us to and from. When we got back home and put everything away Tigris went back out to shop for homes. I suggested we up the one we have now, but she insisted. That night I jerked myself off to my filthy thoughts of what me and Sejanus had done inside his home.

 

Even now, I lie in bed, Sejanus’s underwear stuffed to my face as I jerk myself off. I buck my hips into my hand and imagine it’s his ass. Fuck, I miss his body. The way he whines into my ear while we fucked was ethereal. I imagine him atop me, grinding his needy hole on my dick. It’s so desperate of me, so Sejanus of me, to be doing this. Ignoring the shame in this is easy when I feel this good. I feel my stomach drop and soon I’m coming undone. I moan, biting into Sejanus’s underwear to muffle my cries of pleasure. I moan out his name as I continue to jerk myself into overstimulation. My toes curl and my back arches off the bed. I can feel my eyes rolling to the back of my head as I see white. I bite into my lip now. I jerk harder, my whole body is seizing and begging me to stop. I don’t. The slick noises are taking me back to Sejanus and it’s the closest I’ll get to him since he’s avoiding me. I cum again, much harder than before, I moan wildly. Noises leave me that I wasn’t sure I could make. They are strained, my voice hoarse. My cum spills in thick spray across my chest and hand.

 

I sigh, thinking to myself that I can’t keep doing this. I need to go see him. I deserve that. My room has been remodeled. I stole the look of Sejanus’s room but instead of cream my room is dressed in deep reds and accented with white. Tigris hated it and told me I had zero taste. We haven’t bought an Avox yet, so I hop into a taxi and tell him where to go. As I walk up to Sejanus’s steps I regret my actions. I knock on the door and of course to my dismay, Mason opens the door. The Avox steps aside to let me in. I take my shoes off.

 

“Where is Sejanus.” I ask.

 

The thing just stares at me. “Is Sejanus in his room?” I correct my question.

 

The Avox nods. Without another word I move up the stairs. She chases after me, standing in my way. No matter how many stories Sejanus tells me of the underdogs losing I hold no sympathy, no empathy, in my heart for them.

 

“Move.” I say.

 

The Avox shakes her head. I grab the hand she uses to block me tightly before yanking her off the stairs. I inhale, being sure to calm myself down before I do something she regrets. I march up the stairs far more dignified than before. I can hear her tiny footsteps chasing me as I do so. She eventually pushes past me, banging on his door. What the hell is Sejanus doing that has this Avox losing her shit like this. It’s too late, her warning that is, I’m shoving her to the side and opening the door. I hear her grunt in defeat as I walk through the door frame.

 

There he is, in all his glory, Sejanus Plinth. Of course, he’s on top of Clemensia.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He yells out.

 

I lean against the door frame. I’m glad I dressed well today. My suit vest is snug around my figure and my pants draw out my height in the best way possible. I have since cut my curls off as well. I now have a low buzzcut that even the hottest peacekeeper couldn’t pull off. Clemensia is covering up her and Sejanus’s bodies with his duvet and I can’t help but laugh. 


“Get out.” I say.

 

Clemensia knows I am talking to her, and she swiftly grabs her clothes, getting dressed.

 

“Stay Clemensia, Coriolanus can see himself out.” Sejanus tells her.

 

She looks between us trying to figure out who to listen to.

 

“Dr. Gaul recently brought me down to her lab,” I glare at Clemensia as I speak, “She asked me if I thought the snakes were venomous enough since they were such a big hit at the games.” I look down at my watch, fiddling with it.

 

“I told her I wasn’t sure and that test subjects would be useful.” I smirk with my last words, “What do you think Clemmie?”

 

She’s shaking, like a rabid dog. “You were my partner in a few projects, I could tell Gaul you’re a willing participant in me and hers…. experiment.”

 

With that Clemensia is darting out of the door with tears streaming down her cheeks. I look to the Avox then shut the door on her. Now, back to Sejanus.

 

“You’re sick.” Sejanus says to me.

 

“You’ve said that before.” I say, recalling our first night together.

 

He gets out of the blankets and begins to gather his clothes that are thrown all over his room.

 

“How long have you two been fucking?” I ask.

 

“Really?” He glares at me.

 

“Answer the question Sejanus.” I am angrier than I’d like to admit. “Do you just fuck any and every one you see. Is that what I am?”

 

“Fuck you Corio, you don’t want me unless I’m giving you something. My dad gave you the damn prize! Take it! Leave me alone!” He yells.

 

I walk over to him and when I reach him, I take his face into my hands, “Sejanus, you haven’t talked to me in weeks. I went by the hotel, and they said you asked not to have anyone sent up. I tried to talk to you at graduation and you blew me off. What did you want me to do?” I whisper to him.

 

“Apicata would have shouted to my window, a hundred stories up. He would- “

 

“Don’t you dare!” Our noses bump as I yell at him. “Don’t you dare compare me to your district boy. I am Coriolanus Caius Snow!”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry Corio, I almost forgot. Your father died like that, playing with people from the districts. Is that what you’re afraid of? Is that why you can’t let me in? Get over yourself you were poorer than I three weeks ago!” He snaps at me.

 

An anger tears through me like a current. I still have a hold of his face. If I squeeze tight enough, I could break it. Every fiber in my body in my body is yelling at me to punish him for even muttering the words I told him. I was bare when I told him those words, body and soul. How dare he use them against me? He must think I’ve grown soft on him. He must think I’m foolish enough to find myself in the square like Apicata. He’s wrong. I’ve spent my whole life groveling at adults’ feet to get to where I am. I’d never let it all fall apart for some boy, for love. What’s love anyway but a means to get into someone’s pants. What angers me more is that I do love Sejanus.

 

“You’re hurting me.” Sejanus says.

 Suddenly I’m back in the present, he’s twisting his face trying to get out of the grasp I didn’t even realize I had on him. I let go and snatch his throat into my hand instead, pulling him so that my lips almost touch his. Kiss or kill?

 

“How dare you?” Are the only words I can get out.

 

He tries to respond but my grip on his neck is too tight. Tears well in his eyes and I don’t know if they are from the pain or the emotions he’s feeling.

 

“How dare you!?” I ask again.

 

“Please.” His plea is quiet and strained.

 

I let go of his neck, “Get undressed, now.” I demand.

 

His coughs fill the room and Mason barges in, to his rescue.

 

“Get the fuck out before I rip your tongue out myself!” I yell at her without taking my eyes off Sejanus.

 

“It’s okay Mason.” He huffs.

 

“It’s not okay!” She shouts.

 

I whip my head around and charge toward the girl. I snatch her by her shirt and drag her body to the door. She fights, scratching at my hands and cursing. Before I throw her, the fucking thing bites me. I raise my hand to slap her, and Sejanus shouts me to stop, “Corio don’t!”

 

I’m too heated. I lost my calmness the moment Sejanus called me poor. The mental reminder is enough for me to slap the Avox. She cries out and I push her through the doorframe then turn back to Sejanus. A bruise in the shape of my fingers has already begun to form on his neck. I wipe the Avox’s spit off on my pants.

 

“Like I said, get undressed.” I repeat.

 

“I’m not having sex with you. I don’t even want to look at you right now!” He throws one of the watches sitting on his dresser at me.

 

I dodge the object and with a few steps in back in his space.

 

“Tigris once told me sex is when both people want it. So, I’m not sure sex is what we’ll be having either.” I tell him, putting a few fingers under his chin.

 

He shakes his head, “No, no Coriolanus. I’m not doing this with you again.” His voice is laced with panic. I like it.

 

I wasn’t really asking but I don’t need to tell him that. I move my hands to lift the hem of his shirt, and he pushes me away. I stagger but grab on to his arm, turning him so that his back is to me. I shove him on his dresser, his head hitting the top of the furniture. I don’t need his shirt off, just his loose sweatpants. I press my chest into his back and grab his ass.

 

“Did you like fucking Clemensia?” I whisper in his ear.

 

“N-No.” he stutters, tears sit on the brink of his eyes.

 

I yank his sweatpants down, “Don’t lie to me Sejanus. If you wanted her just say that, if you like it, just say that.” I tell him.

 

“I didn’t Corio, only you, you know I only want you.” He says.

 

Right, that’s why he ignored me for months. He left me wondering why I had even bothered trying to open up to him. I’m hard, so hard. The control I have over him is no longer for play. I’m no longer scrabbling for food which has allowed my body to be fuller. I take a moment to observe the boy’s body. Hickeys litter neck along with the print of my hand.

 

“You let her mark you up pretty good.”

I hope he doesn’t hear the hurt in my words as badly as I feel them.

 

I let him go and he quickly pulls his pants up. I take a good look at him. He looks fine, like he hasn’t lost a wink of sleep. I, on the other hand, have been jerking off every night to the thought of him moaning my name. I’m livid of course but right now more than anything I am... sad? He’s talking but I don’t hear him. I want to punch someone or maybe sob in Tigris’s shoulder. I came here with the intention of telling Sejanus I want him, need him. Yet I’ve found him with the same cunt he was locking lips with months ago.

 

“Corio? Do you hear me?” I hear Sejanus say.

 

“Yeah. . .I’ll uh I’m going go.” I tell him.

 

“Please don’t, whatever is between us needs to be resolved.” He says.

 

“You like Clemensia. I’m no one’s second choice, no one’s. Plus, you two are cute together I’m sure you’ll make cute babies.”

I’m not sure where that last part came from. Had I imagined a family with Sejanus before this? No. Had I imagined anything but landing on top of Capital before I fucked him? No. So why now, why now is he slithering into my mind.

 

I begin crying, I can feel the tears heating my face. I can feel Sejanus’s soft, large, hands wiping them away.

 

“Don’t touch me!” I yank away from his grasp. “Not after what you did.”

 

With that I’m leaving, Mason is right outside of the door, and it takes all my control to not punch her in the teeth. I don’t bother getting a cab and I refuse one of the Avox’s offers to drive me. My angry walk gets to the square of the Capital faster than I thought it would. I stand here looking at my fellow citizens jeering on the torturing of a child. I keep walking, Sejanus’s story flashing through my mind. I find myself in Gaul’s lab.

 

“Snow, my favorite student.” She grins to me.

 

“Hi, anything new today? I’ve got time.” I tell her.

 

“You seem wound up. Should I be trusting in you to handle my babies with care?”

 

Her babies are her mutts, devilish mutations of animals.

 

“I’m not wound up,” the words come out of my mouth a bit more defensive than intended.

 

“Tell me then, why do you look like you could kill a child if they looked at you the wrong way.” Her eyebrows quirk as she asks.

 

Can I even tell her? I have grown close with the woman. She is evil, she enjoys the worsts parts of humanity. She also enjoys a good story. I tell her plenty when we do experiments that require us to wait for something to happen. During the first month of Sejanus not talking to me I told her how much it bothered me. She lectured me that day, telling me how fickle things like sex, love, and everything else gets in the way of true goals. I agreed with her but told her I could have both. I did have both.

 

“Well, Sejanus is uhm having sex with Clemensia now.”

 

Her laugh is wicked and bounces off the walls of the spacious lab. “Well! I was not expecting that. How’d you come to find this out.”

 

“I went to his house. . .”

 

She stops moving at my words, “How foolish.”.

 

“Yeah, I know.” I don’t really want to say more but Gaul is now looking at me. She loves a good story.

 

So, I go on explaining the sequence of events, leaving out the Avox that I yanked around because Gaul would hate knowing an Avox could speak. I tell her how Sejanus wanted to talk but I was done.

 

“And Clemensia?” She drawls.

 

“Oh, I kicked her out once I walked in and saw her. I mentioned the snakes.” Gaul likes my response, humming and nodding her head.

 

“So? No more Sejanus for you?” She asks.

 

She taps the stool next to her and I sit. I observe the table and on it, dead snakes. She’s been trying to figure out how to give them stronger poison to use without killing them. Guess it isn’t working.

 

“I don’t know. I kind of came here to forget about it.” I eye her, hoping she drops the topic. She doesn’t.

 

“I heard a nasty rumor about that Clemensia Dovecoat girl. She’s buying her way into the university. Failed the prelims.” She cuts into a snake as she talks. “Coriolanus why do you think people like Sejanus love?” She asks.

 

“I never thought about it.” I tell her.

 

“They love to be loved. Sejanus’s dad is cold, and his mother is a defender of her husband. Who is there to hold poor Sejanus? No one. You are not built to love someone like that, you would need to change.” She explains.

 

My fingers follow the snake’s tail as I listen to her. “Change how?” I ask.

 

She picks up a dead snake. “This is Sejanus.”

 

I look at her with confusion and she beacons me to follow along.

 

“Too much poison in the poor thing,” she frowns at the specimen, “you are that poison. You can still be on top and love. It’s just a lot less exhilarating.” She drops the snake in a vat full of dissolver. I nod, picking up the tray and dumping the other ones in.

 

“I’ve no work for you today. Though tomorrow there’s a hearing for the Dovecoat’s family crimes. I’ll give you clearance so that you’re allowed in.” She tells.

 

“Crimes?” I ask. No way buying your way into university is a real crime.

 

“Yes, the university board doesn’t appreciate the attempt to dumb down their establishment by people buying their way in. This is not the Academy. No go on, your story was fun to hear but I have the president coming here for a presentation.” She speaks.

 

I get up, grabbing my coat. As I walk down the stairs of the Academy, I see Sejanus coming up.

 

“What are you doing here?” The question is involuntary.

 

“My parents are presenting with Gaul to the president for some weapons or something.” He speaks.

 

He’s dressed in all black, a turtleneck that is near to touching his chin and black slacks.

 

“Do you have to be there?” Another question that I should not be asking.

 

“No,” he looks around, “what do you want Corio?”

 

“You.” I tell him.

 

He’s speechless now, his mouth agape. If Gaul is right, I can indeed have both him and my power. I’m just so unsure how that can play out. Who wants a gay president? I mentally shake my head, one step a time Coriolanus. Finally, Sejanus speaks up,

 

“You just beat me Corio.”

 

“I was reasonably angry, Sejanus.”

 

He scoffs, “I didn’t do anything to you!” His eyes dart around, and he lowers his voice, “Clemensia came over needing help with her university essay. We started making out that is all.”

 

I step down the stairs until we are only one space away from each other, “I haven’t even looked at anyone since you stopped talking to me. I missed you and you didn’t care. Then you throw the little bit of information I did tell you about myself in my face. That’s what you did to me.”

 

“You did your job Corio- “

 

“Stop calling me that fucking nickname Sejanus.”

 

“You have serious issue Coriolanus. Serious fucking issues.” He pushes past me walking up the stairs without looking back.

Yeah, I do and he’s one of them.

Chapter 7: Roles Reversed

Summary:

Coriolanus finds himself in Gual's web.
Sejanus is not who Coriolanus thought he was.
Arachne is Arachne.

Notes:

It took me so long to write this wannabe chapter. I just needed to make sure the plot was plotting. Enjoy, leave a comment if you're keeping up with the chapters.

The courthouse is filled with so many high-ranking officials and highest buyers in the Capital that I feel out of place. I quickly remind myself this is where I belong, that my father would have been in this room if not me. I spot Sejanus quickly, he’s with his parents as they speak to Arachne Cranes parents. Here Sejanus cannot ignore me or act like a cunt toward me. He must be polite. I make my way over but before I can reach them Gaul appears in front of me. She nods her head toward the doors of the courtroom. Once we are outside, she looks around before leaning into me.

 

“Highbottom won’t be feeling well enough to finish this trial. Would you mind me calling you up if he can no longer participate?” She asks.

 

“How do I qualify to be a judge?” I ask.

 

“You’re Crassus Snow’s boy.” She pats my shoulder then turns away back into the courtroom.

 

I have so many more questions, but Sejanus is back at the forefront of my mind. I go back inside looking around for him again. Once I find the group I walk over. I give my usual polite introductions. It’s so unusual seeing the Plinths so put together when I know the chaos that reeks in their household. Arachne takes me and Sejanus by the arm. We politely lace our arms with hers as she pulls us away from the adults,

 

“Coriolanus, I thought you’d be here.”

 

“Gaul asked me to come.” I clarify.

 

“Oh? I thought it had more to do with the fact that you hate Clemensia.” She bats her lashes.

 

“I don’t hate her.” I explain.

Yes, I do.

 

“Really? Interesting. Anyways, she needs us today. Regardless of the outcome we are to stick by her. They are ripping her family apart and I dare to think your mentor is behind it.” She eyes me with her last sentence.

 

Sejanus is quiet, too quiet. He hasn’t spoken a word to me yet.

 

“Gaul is powerful. I wouldn’t be talking about her so vilely to her puppet.” Sejanus speaks up.

 

“I’m not her puppet.” I make sure my tone is calm. I can’t keep letting Sejanus make me act out of character.

 

“Our classmates seem to think differently.” Sejanus replies.

 

“Gaul has the same goal as any of us do for the Capital. You all should be thanking her.” I express.

 

“See,” Arachne looks to me, “puppet.”

 

I roll my eyes, “Listen, Clemensia’s father tried to buy her into the university are you guys okay with that?”

 

“Corio do you know how many people here buy their way into things?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Yes. You’re one of them.”

 

“Okay,” Arachne darts her eyes to both of us, “No fighting. Clemensia deserves to be with us, she’s our friend.”

 

“She isn’t my friend and her and Sejanus have a bit more than friendship going on.” I say.

 

“No, we do not.” Sejanus snaps.

 

“Yeah, you guys do.” I smirk at him.

 

A gavel cuts off whatever it is Arachne was going to say next. We sit down on the oak benches engraved with the Capital logo on them. I’m not sure why Arachne is so hell bent on sticking by Clemensia’s side. There is nothing the Dovecoat family has that I want. Me, Arachne, and Sejanus all belong to high-named families. Sure, the Dovecoats are high named as well but so are the Heavenbees. You don’t see their family in court. Courts in the Capital are no longer based on jury. Three judges are appointed to each case and usually they are Academy professors. Then a committee of high-named families discuss with the judges to find the accused guilty or not guilty. As the judges take their seats it doesn’t pass me that Mrs. Plinth is among them. Dr. Gaul and Casca Highbottom are the other two. A peacekeeper steps infront of the committee with a folded piece of paper.

 

“What are the charges?” Gaul asks the peacekeeper.

 

“Fraud in the first degree.” He begins. “Abuse of authority in the first degree.” He folds the paper he reads from and sits back down.

 

The crowd gasps. The drama of this all is already annoying me.

 

“We’ve had ample time to review the case before this trial. I, of the name Plinth, find the Dovecoat family guilty of fraud and not guilty of abuse of power.” Mrs. Plinth tells the committee.

 

To be guilty of abuse of power means you think you out rule the President of Panem, Ravenstill. The crime holds a far worse punishment than fraud.

 

Arachne turns to Sejanus, “I thought you talked to her.” She whispers.

 

“I did but she didn’t say how she’d vote.” He explains.

 

Gaul taps her mic, “My name is Dr. Volumnia Gaul. I find the Dovecoat family guilty of both charges.”

 

Casca Highbottom stands to give his verdict but immediately sits back down, groaning. He coughs. Then coughs again but this time a terrible gagging noise leaves his throat and booms through the mic. Mrs. Plinth stands and calls for a medic. The peacekeepers grab him up with ease and a few people who I deem are medics follow them as they leave the court house. What is going on?

 

“Shall we continue?” Gaul asks.

 

The committee whispers amongst themselves before one speaks up, “We would need another judge. Do you have any backups?”

 

“Crassus Snow’s son has joined in his late name. I’m sure he’s qualified to lay a verdict.” Gaul says.

 

Then all eyes are on me. Arachne’s eyes are on me. Sejanus just stares forward. Act normal Coriolanus, I tell myself. I stand and step out of the viewers benches.

 

“I’d be honored.” I say.

 

“Good, he just needs a moment to review the case. It isn’t complex.” Gaul smiles. Her last sentence has meaning. I can tell by the inflection she adds to “isn’t”. I’ve spent enough time with her to know when she wants something done.

 

Once again, I mentally note that people like her should not smile, it just looks creepy. I take the podium where Highbottom once sat just moments ago and read over the papers. There is no proof, none, that Clemensia bought her way into the university. If anything, she failed, and asked to retake the tests in which she was denied. I look to Gaul she gives me nothing but a blank stare. I flip the pages, looking for anything else that points to Dovecoats guilt.

 

“We haven’t all day Mr. Snow.” One of the committee members speak up.

 

I’ve never been called that. Mr. Snow. It holds such a nice ring to it. It pulls me out of my skepticism surrounding this trial.

 

“I’m done reviewing and can say I too find the Dovecoats guilty, on both charges.” I announce.

 

I look to Sejanus after my words, and he isn’t even looking at me. The head committee member bangs her gavel to tame the crowd. The crowd has gone array. Their shock is reasonable. If they had the packet in front of them like me, they’d be even more shocked.

 

“By trial and without reasonable doubt, the Dovecoats are guilty of both charges. The punishment of Mr. and Mrs. Dovecoat will be death. While their daughter Clemensia Dovecoats punishment will be decided by Casca Highbottom.” The committee member tells us.

 

The air I was once breathing is caught in my throat. Gaul whispers a thank you and stands from her seat swiftly exiting the room from the back.

 

“Coriolanus Snow we thank you for your service and for taking your late father’s place in this trial. You are excused.”

 

I stand but nothing feels real. Have I sent a family to death? Why did Gaul ask me to cover for Highbottom? Is Sejanus mad at me? What about Arachne? I go to catch up with them, not finding them in the court room.

 

“Arachne, Sejanus!” I shout out when I see them.

 

Arachne turns, her face red. “Are you happy? Who the hell told you to get on that stand and lie!”

 

“I didn’t lie Arachne. The evidence was obvious.” I tell her.

 

Sejanus tells Arachne there is no use in going on about this with me. I grab Sejanus’s arm pulling him until we are far away from Arachne and far away from the crowd.

 

“Sejanus what is going on? Why was your mother up there?” I ask.

 

“Gaul didn’t tell you?” Sejanus replies.

 

“No, she didn’t.” I say.

 

“The Dovecoats were moving to close Gaul’s lab. They think her plans for the Capital are inhumane and what she teaches follows suit. This was her retaliation, and the president followed along.” Sejanus spills.

 

“I didn’t know that.” I tell him.

 

“So, why’d you find her family guilty? Ya know what, don’t answer that. I know you did it because of yesterday.” He presses a finger into my chest.

 

I want to tell him he is right. That she’s in the way of me having him and now she won’t be.

 

“She’s not going to die Sejanus.” Is all I say.

 

“Her parents will be hung in the square and all the public will know is that they betrayed the Capital. Do you think she has any chance in this country now?”

 

“What do you care? You want me to go against what Gaul and our literal president has planned for Clemensia?” I ask him.

 

He doesn’t say a thing just rolls his perfect brown eyes.

 

“Sejanus, you don’t need her. You want me anyways.” I lean into him.

 

“You’re wrong. I don’t want you.” He walks past me and leaves with Arachne.

 

I look around making sure no one saw what just happened. Once again Sejanus has left me on the verge of tears. I cough to get the lump out of my throat and it’s not long before I’m in a bathroom stall pacing back and forth. My whole body feels tense, like at any moment I might snap. I pull at my shirt that is now clinging to my body from the heat I’ve accumulated but I find no relief. I look at my hands and realize I am shaking. That’s when I hear my breath picking up. What am I doing? Why am I freaking out over some boy who bought his way into life? Why am I crying? Why doesn’t Sejanus want me? I’ve been good to him. Soon my panic turns into anger, and I scream, falling to the floor. I can’t breathe. My body goes in and out of cold then hot. I shut my eyes tight. I think about what my mother used to tell me about my father. How rain could fall, and he’d still go out to pick her roses. She said he’d do anything for their love. She told me good people, people who love, exist in all forms. I am good, I just come differently. Slowly, I catch my breath and open my eyes. I stand, wiping myself off.

 

When I walk out Gaul is standing there.

“I made sure no one came in.” She says.

 

“Thank you?” I respond, somewhat still inside of my head.

 

“Your first day of university is tomorrow. Pull yourself together, I’ve given you much praise to your new professors. I wouldn’t want them thinking I was wrong.” She tells me then walks away.

 

I walk past Arachne and Sejanus with the plan to not speak to them, but Arachne calls to me. I don’t look back I just push through the Courthouse doors. I hear her call for me again and finally I snap my head around.

 

“What do you want Arachne?”

 

Once I see that Sejanus is still with her, I don’t wait for a response before I begin walking again. I have nothing to say to that insolent little shit. Just the sight of him is angering me again. I tug at the collar of my shirt in an attempt to keep myself at bay. I know who I am, and I know that what I’ve done has hurt people. It doesn’t matter to me in the way it matters to Sejanus. The two of them are still following me. I can hear them arguing about whether or not to keep talking to me. They follow me all the way down to the taxi’s. When I finally call one Arachne, with all her might, stops me from the shutting the door and gets in with me. Sejanus follows.

 

“You seriously are stubborn Coriolanus.” She huffs.

 

“Nope, he’s just a dick.” Sejanus says.

 

If it weren’t for Arachne sitting between us, I would seriously hurt him but instead I have to use my words.

 

“Dick? Hm? I thought you liked that about me.” I scoff.

 

Sejanus whips his head toward me, “Watch your fucking mouth Corio!” he yells.

 

“Do not call me that you district piece of shit!” I respond.

 

“You two seriously need to figure your shit out. My father has asked me to propose we be allied families. Things are changing in the Capital.” She looks to both of us.

 

“Whatever.” Sejanus says.

 

“Good, now Coriolanus I’ll be expecting dinner when we get inside. I haven’t eaten and you two are draining me.”

 

The car stops at my house, and I begrudgingly let them both into my home. It dawns on me that this is the first time I’m having people over. I ask the chef to make dinner for two tonight, I am not hungry. Then my two nuisances follow me to my room. I am glad I cleaned my room before I left out this morning. Arachne tosses her heels off and lies on my bed,

 

“So, tell us what Gaul told you. Also, very comfy bed Coriolanus.”

 

“Nothing, Sejanus was the one who told me about how Clemensia’s parents wanted to shut Gaul’s lab down. That was the first I had heard of the issue.” I tell her.

 

“Why did you threaten Clemensia with the snakes when you came to house yesterday, what does she know about them?” Sejanus speaks up.

 

Where to begin? I take a seat on my bed and note that Sejanus is still standing.

 

“Sit down.” I tell him.

 

He does so and I imagine the other things I could tell him to do.

 

“Gaul liked my ideas that I talked about after I got in trouble for being in the cage with Lucy Gray. Clemensia, infront of all of you, invited herself to write on my proposal. She never wrote any of it, Gaul found out because she put the paper in the snake tank. The snakes bit her, that’s why she was gone so long, she got poisoned.” I explain.

 

The two of them are looking at me wide eyed like I’ve just said the most heinous thing.

 

“Remind me never to cross you.” Arachne says.

 

“I didn’t know Gaul was going to do that and I was worried about Clemensia. She was really upset with me though.” I tell her.

 

“So, is that why you found her guilty?” Arachne asks.

 

“No. Gaul asked me. . .” I freeze, “Oh. . .” I am realizing just what happened today. “Clemensia’s parents must have found out what Gaul did to her. Gaul only asked me to accept being a judge if I were asked.”

 

“There is no saving Clemensia’s parents is there?” Sejanus asks.

 

“I know you haven’t been here long but there’s no over-turning a court deemed verdict.” I tell him.

 

“I know that you asshole.” He rolls his eyes.

 

“So, we take Clemensia under our wing. She didn’t deserve any of this.” Arachne says.

 

“You’ve been hanging out with Sejanus too much. Do you both have a death wish I don’t know about? We are going to let this go. Arachne, if your dad wants us to watch out for each other then I’ll do that. What I won’t do is put everything on the line for a girl. She’s been deemed an enemy to the higher ups, or she wouldn’t be in this position.”

 

Arachne takes a dep breath. “Okay fine. We let it go. Sejanus?” She looks to him.

 

“Yeah,” He says.

 

“Sejanus, I mean it. This situation is nothing but trouble.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah I fucking heard you Coriolanus.”

 

The chef knocks, letting us know dinner is ready. Arachne rolls her eyes, “I’m going to change clothes before dinner. Is Tigris around?”

 

“Yes, her door is across from mine.” I tell her.

 

With just me and Sejanus in the room the silence is loud. I think of what to say for a while and then I decide Arachne’s idea is a good one. I begin stripping my clothes. I take off my suit shirt followed by my belt buckle. I look at him as I unloop the belt. His eyes bore into my body. I unbutton my pants, letting them drop to the floor before taking off my underwear. Sejanus, who is leaning on my dresser, has gone red. His eyes are unwavering as I walk to the dresser. I pull out one of the drawers to find some underwear, putting them on. I reach for another drawer, full of pants.

 

He grabs my hand, “What are you trying to do?” he asks.

 

“I wanted to change into something more comfortable before dinner with my new ally’s.” I tell him.

 

Sejanus pulls on my hand so that I’m infront of him. He grabs my jaw with his other hand, pulling our lips to meet each other’s. Finally. Fucking finally. I melt into the kiss, desperate for each movement of his mouth to continue. I let a moan slip out, it is as if I have been training my mind to only want this. I grind my hips onto his to get a reaction out of him. I need to hear him whine for me again. If this is the last time I kiss Sejanus, my Sejanus, for another few months I want to make the most of it. Sejanus’s grip on my jaw has not gone unnoticed by me. He’s touching me how I usually touch him. I don’t want to ruin this moment, so I am letting his dominance in this kiss pass.

 

His hand traces my body. His fingers grasp at my arm muscles and the need for him to tell me he likes what he is feeling overcomes me.

 

“Do you like how I feel?” I huff onto his lips.

 

“You’ve been working out?” He asks.

 

I nod quickly to him and then we are back to making out. Sejanus’s hand has not left my jaw and I feel a little trapped. I pull away from his grip and kiss him again, he allows it. He grips my waist instead now. His grip is so tight that I feel the nail of his thumb dig into my abdomen. I go to unbuckle his pants, and I can feel his boner pressing against his trousers. I get his pants off and palm his boner. He pulls away from the kiss which throws me off. I lean back in for more and I am met with his hand around my throat.

 

“I want you on your knees for me Coriolanus. It’s the only way I’ll take you.” Sejanus whispers to me.

 

Desperate. I am so very desperate. To consume or be consumed doesn’t matter to me. I only want Sejanus’s attention. So, I get on my knees. I have never in my life sucked another man’s dick. Sejanus pulls himself out. I never thought he was small because he isn’t. He isn’t as long as me, but his width makes up for that. Sejanus laces his finger around my throat, bringing my mouth on his dick. He groans and I want to hear more. My eyes flutter as I try to keep my eyes on him. He bucks his hips, and I cough but Sejanus only does it again until he is fucking my mouth. I try to keep my mouth open because that’s what I would want Sejanus to do for me. His hand releases my throat to caress my face. I begin to suck him off on my own as he has ceased bucking his hips. I lick and suck, becoming infatuated with the way he tastes.

 

“So good for me Corio, so perfect.” He tells me.

 

Tears from being gagged stream down my face. I know the look he is giving me. I have looked at him that way many a times. He is looking at me like I am the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth falls open, a slew of groans leaving his body.

 

“So close my boy, so close to cumming in your mouth.” He moans out.

 

I quicken my pace and use my hands to touch the space my mouth cannot. He slaps my hands away and grabs onto my head. Both of his thick heavy hands bring me to base of his dick and I feel hot liquid fill my mouth.

 

“Fuck, fuck, yes Coriolanus you’re takin’ me so well.” He groans.

 

The praise goes to my head, and I moan around him. I want him to say more, tell me more of how good I am to him. I swallow like my life depends on it. He is cumming so much and it’s so thick that I begin to cough around his cock. He releases his hold on my head, and I pull off for a full breath of air. My spit and his cum drip from the chin as I gather myself. Sejanus walks into my bathroom, and I stand uo following him. He wipes himself down then turns to me, wiping the cum and spit from my chin and chest.

 

“Thank you.” I tell him.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“I’ve missed you Janus.” I say.

 

He’s silent for too long and I begin feeling uncomfortable that I ever said those words. I look at him through the mirror.

 

“Sejanus?”

 

“Hm?” He replies.

 

“I said I’ve missed you.” I answer.

 

“Yeah, I heard you.” He says. He zips his pants up, leaving the bathroom and then leaving my room.

 

I follow him and Arachne is eating dinner with Tigris already. I sit and the chef makes my plate. The smell is amazing. Chicken with broccoli drenched in a dark joux. I dig in and clear my plate far faster than I meant to.

 

“Hungry?” Sejanus asks.

 

I nod. I don’t know what he is playing at, but I hate it. I hate the nonchalant act he’s trying to put off to me.

 

“You don’t seem hungry.” I say.

 

“Plenty of food at home. I ate already.” He replies.

 

Is he trying to make some sly comment about my lack of food?

 

“I was stressed about the trial, didn’t eat.” I say.

 

Tigris perks up at my comment, “How did that go?” She asks.

 

Me, Arachne, and Sejanus glance at each other before Arachne speaks up, “Well Coriolanus sent Clemensia’s parents to the guillotine. The family wasn’t present for the trial, I guess they knew their fate.” She says.

 

Tigris looks to me, “You did what?”.

 

“Gaul asked me to take place as a judge if Highbottom couldn’t fulfill his duties. And well uh, he couldn’t.” I explain.

 

“Well, was she guilty?”

 

I want Tigris to stop talking. I don’t need three empathizers all looking at me like I’ve done something wrong.

 

“That was the verdict.” Is all I say. All that I have to say.

 

Dinner is over quick after that. No one wants to talk. Arachne’s Avox picks her up and I ask Sejanus if he will let me take him home.

 

“I’m actually quite tired.” He says his eyes are saying something different, but I can’t read into it.

 

“So, you don’t want me to take you home?”

 

“No, I’d rather stay here, if you don’t mind.” He says.

 

Of course I don’t mind. Of course I want you to stay Sejanus. I could spend hours, years, in your presence.

 

“Yes that’s okay.” I say.

 

When we get to my room Sejanus begins looking around. He, weirdly, goes through each of the drawers

 

“Looking for something?” I ask.

 

“No.” He replies and continues snooping around.

 

I bite my lip but tell myself to ignore him. If Sejanus wants to act like I don’t exist I’ll do the same. I get undressed and grab my pajamas. I stare at myself a long time once I’m in the bathroom. Gaul’s words echo through my mind.  You would need to change, is what she said to me. I can’t imagine changing myself. Have I changed? I can’t tell. I’m so introspective yet here I sit thinking about the millions of ways I have differed since fucking Sejanus. I sent Clemensia’s parents to death, I choked Sejanus, I slapped his Avox. . . Yeah, no. I have not changed. I place the stopper in the bath drain and begin to run a bath. My bathroom door is open, and I don’t plan on closing it because I never do.

 

The bath rises quickly, I place my toe in to check if the water is too hot. It isn’t. Soon my whole body is submerged into the clear liquid. I let a sigh out I didn’t know I was holding in. My eyes flutter shut, and I daydream about being on top. The presidents mansion all to myself, the tributes for The Hunger Games looking up to me. All my dreams are so feasible now.

 

“Warm?”

 

I jump at Sejanus’s voice, “Yes I am. Would you like to join?” I ask.

 

“Nah, last time we took a bath together you fooled me into thinking I actually knew you.” His voice is full of anger, yet he is not yelling.

 

“I told you the truth about my life Sejanus.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah, and then you put your mask back on. Which I’m not even sure isn’t the real you.” His arms are folded across his chest as he speaks.

 

“Maybe both are the real me. I’m not some one-dimensional creature.” I roll my eyes.

 

“Is this your attempt to get me back? Be a dick?” He asks.

 

“No!” I take a deep breath, he is always getting me so heated, so angry, “No Sejanus. My attempt was showing up at your house. Then I caught you making out with that cunt while I was at home- “

 

“Jerking off with my underwear?” He asks, cutting me off.

 

Huh? How the hell does he know about that. He pulls the pair of underwear I’ve been shoving my face in out of his pocket. He dangles them teasingly. I’m frozen, wishing nothing more than to be able to disappear right here and now.

 

“So hungry for me Corio. I like it.” He whispers.

 

I feel my cheeks heat up with a blush. He begins taking his clothes off. I watch with such heavy intent. I don’t want to look away and I’m not ashamed of that.

 

“Crassus Snow’s boy lusting after a boy from district two. Now that, is unpredictable. Even more than I.” He tells me.

 

“You are not unpredictable.” I say.

 

“Oh? Did you predict I’d have you on your knees this evening?” He asks.

 

“No.” I quickly say.

 

He’s putting me on the defense. I am frustrated and he’s not making it any better with the pair of underwear I stole from him in his hands.

 

“Mind if I get in?” He asks.

 

I shake my head. More than anything I want him to get in. He undresses himself, slowly and I watch. My eyes take in every bit of his body. I scoot over so that he can get in. He doesn’t though, he just sits on the edge and puts his legs in.

 

“Get in.” I tell him.

 

His games are no longer entertaining me, only making me feel self-conscious and desperate.

 

“Ask nicely Coriolanus Snow, I might just give you what you want.” He drawls.

 

“Please, get in.” I say stubbornly.

 

“I don’t like your tone boy.” He tells me.

 

He leans down so that his face is inches from mine. “Go on, ask me nicely.” He says. My breath is shaky, and I can hear my heart pumping in my ears. I bite my lip, refraining from yanking him inside the tub.

 

“Sejanus, please get in the tub with me.” I flutter my lashes.

 

He slips in, “God this water is hot that must be why you’re melting so easy for me Snow.”

 

Snow. I like the way my last name falls from his lips. I nod slowly, “I like my baths hot.” I say, not sure what else to say in response to that.  The boy is opposite of me, his feet by my chest. I grab one of his legs, pulling his legs so that one lies on either side of me.

 

“Don’t move me again without asking.” He tells me.

 

It’s hot the way he’s so demanding, so harsh. I’m so hard and I know he feels it. I’m trying to picture anything else but the view before me. Sejanus, legs spread and head resting on the edge of my tub. His brown eyes are so cold right now and the light casts shadows on his face that make him seem so dark.

 

“I won’t.” I finally say.

 

“Good boy.” He smirks.

 

I feel like I’m in some trance. In what world have I allowed Sejanus out of all people to tell me what to do. When I was poor, powerless, I wanted nothing more than total control of my surroundings. Sejanus was just an object to me then. He was something I could control unlike everything going on around me. Of course I had my ways. Allowing Clemensia to get bitten. Making sure Lucy Gray not only won the games but was memorable. Doing Gaul’s biddings no matter the outcome. Except Sejanus, well I’m beginning to think I never really controlled him at all. I’m beginning to think his actions are as thought out as my own.

 

“Can I touch you?” I ask, sitting up from my lackadaisical posture.

 

“Where?” He asks in response.

 

“Anywhere.” I admit.

 

He laughs, his chest going up and down as if it is genuine. “I kinda want you to beg me. Think you can do that for me?” He smiles at me.

 

It’s so warm, his smile, unlike everything else he has been giving me. I’ve really lost my mind because I consider it. I truly consider begging him to let me touch him.

 

“Sejanus, please stop toying with me.” I mean it.

 

He draws his body back, sitting up like me. He clasp my face with his hand.

“I’m not toying with you Snow. I really do want you to beg me. I deserve it after all.”

 

I gulp, “Please Sejanus, let me touch you. I... I need you.” I tell him.

 

“You can do better than that, but you’ve had a long day, sending people to death and all. I’ll let it slide this time.” He says.

 

He kisses me. Finally. I breathe out into our kiss. I slip my tongue through his lips tasting the inside of his mouth. Always so sweet. Just for me. He pulls away and I grasp his hair trying to pull him back in. Since we are both now two well fed boys the pull for power isn’t as easy for me. To my shock I feel a wet and heavy slap land on my cheek. I let go of his hair immediately.

 

I have never been hit. Ever. My father was strict but with his words and ideals. I’ve witnessed countless terrors during the dark days. Never has someone laid a hand on me. I see Sejanus eyeing me, maybe he’s trying to see if he has pushed too far. I look away from him. Blinking to push the tears forming in my eyes away.

 

“Don’t touch without asking Snow.” Is all he says before pulling me back into the kiss.

 

I am so utterly confused. I have never seen Sejanus so cold in my life. So detached. He moans when I nibble at his lip. I am trying to get back into the kiss, but I can’t. I’m uncomfortable beyond explaining.

 

I pull back, “I’m good Janus. I just missed you.” I say. I hope he gets what I’m saying.

 

I’m saying, stop kissing me you mutt form of Sejanus, I want my boy back.

 

“I didn’t ask hun.” He says.

 

He’s hot again and the voice telling me to run has become quieter.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask, truly bewildered.

 

“You don’t like being treated how you treat me? Or is it that you do like it, and that scares you.” His fingers caress my cheek as he talks.

 

“So, what? You’re trying to be me?” I ask.

 

“You know. Apicata was so much like you. Outside my bedroom everyone cowered to him. Either because he was district,” he trials his fingers down to my throat, “Or because he was so damn stern. I remember Arachne’s older sister fawning over him. She said he was “one in a kind, the type you only see in movies”. She’s right. But at night,” he leans back into me, “All he ever did was scream out my name while I fucked him. It was gorgeous too. To see a man who so many wouldn’t dare to lock eyes with, beg me to fill him up.”

 

He licks at my throat, not losing his grip, biting at my veins. I moan, deep and guttural.

 

“I think Apicata liked losing some control. He had so much of it in his hands with his family dead. Let me help you Snow, let me help you lose control.” He whispers against my neck.

 

I do let him. He drains the bath and drags me out of the tub. We land on my bed and our lips never lose contact with each other’s. I want to scream, I’m so hard that my dick is already leaking. I haven’t completely let go as Sejanus suggested. I try to take over the kiss but soon I’m beneath Sejanus and his hand is wrapped tightly around my dick.

 

“Ah! Sejanus, I’m sensitive.” I tell him.

 

He bites my neck so hard I swear he has drawn blood, “I don’t care. Gonna make you cum for me as many times as you can.”

 

I’m already close and Sejanus’s hands weren’t soaking in the tub as long as mine were. they are still rough. He begins to only jerk the tip of my dick and I’m unraveling. I try to pull my hips away, the sensation far too much. His jerks slow down.

 

“So quick?” He looks at me.

 

I’m positive I look a mess. My face scrunches up and I haven’t stopped biting my lip since Sejanus bit me like an animal.

 

“Janus please.” I don’t know what I’m begging for.

 

He hitches my legs up and wipes the thick cum that’s landed on my stomach onto his hands. Without any warning he shoves a thick finger up my ass. I bite into my hand as tears prick the sides of my eyes. He doesn’t take his time in moving his finger in and out of me.

 

“Relax Snow, you’re making it hurt more by tensing up.” He tells me.

 

I shoot him an angry look. Relax? Maybe don’t shove fingers in me without warning. I do as I am told because the pain is too much for me to feel anything good. As soon as I relax, he slides another finger in. He scissors the fingers around in me to stretch me open more.

 

“Sejanus, Sejanus please. Hurts.” I whine out.

 

He spits on my hole a few times and the pain eases.

 

“It’s okay, it’s just dry hun.” He coos.

 

I want to die. I am genuinely losing my mind right now. Everything feels so much, and I’ve become hard again.

 

“Want me inside you? Think you can handle it?” He asks.

 

I nod. Not because I know what I want. I just want to feel full. His fingers have become not enough for me. I need to cum again. All he needed was my permission I guess because he’s sliding his dick into me shortly after. I am positive I go cross eyed. I remember thinking about how thick Sejanus’s cock was when I first saw it. He is slowly splitting me open, and I keep telling myself to relax. He leans over me so that he can kiss me. He whispers sweet nothings between kisses. Telling me how well I am taking him, how good I am being for him. He calls me his sweet boy. His soft boy. I repeat it back to him, telling him I am his. That it’s all I want to be. I don’t know if I mean it.

 

When he finally gets all of himself inside me, he throws his head back. I know that feeling. That feeling of bottoming out inside something so tight that all you want to do is fuck it. I try to brace myself for his next movements, but nothing prepares me for the way he slams out and then back into me. My mouth falls open in a slew of disgusting sounds. He loves it, smiling at my reaction.

 

He grabs my hips and lifts me up slightly and that’s when I lose all sense of self. He is fucking into me, hitting me so deep that I can’t help but beg for me. I’m saying all types of disgusting shit. Telling him I want him to take me, fill me, and mark me. He huffs out and I can feel his thrusts becoming more desperate. He grasps my dick in his hand, and it only takes a few strokes of both his hand and dick in my ass to make me cum. My eyes roll to the back of my head, my mouth wide open and letting horrid moans out. He latches his mouth to mine, sucking in all my noises. It’s so wet when he kisses me, and his hands nor hips have stopped moving. I’m going into overdrive when I feel his cum splatter my insides. He groans into our kiss, biting at my lips.

What did I just do.

Chapter 8: First Day

Summary:

The first day of University.
The first day of being allies with Sejanus and Arachne.
The first day Coriolanus goes to the square.

Notes:

Long awaited, sorry my bf is sick and I've been taking care of him.

I wake up to the sound of Sejanus and Arachne arguing about what I’ll be wearing for the day.

 

“Aren’t you his boyfriend? Why do you want him wearing all black like he’s at a funeral?” I hear Arachne complain.

 

“You want him to wear white, but he’s pale as snow, Arachne.” He retorts.

 

I want to tell them shut up, but I’m way too concerned about how the hell Arachne got in. I roll over to sit myself up, hissing at the ache in my ass.

 

“God bless Panem, you’re finally awake.” Arachne huffs.

 

“Sejanus wants to dress you like a mourning father tell him you don’t want to wear that.” She points to the outfit Sejanus has laid out.

 

After last night I wonder if this is a part of the game Sejanus is playing with me. The outfit isn’t half bad either.

 

“I do sort of like it.” I tell her.

 

“No, you do not!” If there is one thing Arachne is passionate about, it’s clothes and appearances.

 

“I do,” I put my hands up in defense.

 

“Fine! I’m going to Tigris for accessories, because that on its own,” she points at the clothes in Sejanus’s hands, “Is hideous.”

 

Sejanus sighs and places the clothes infront of me, “You like it?” He asks.

 

I nod in response. He kisses me on my forehead and sits next to me.

 

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

 

“Fine, last night was…weird.” I tell him.

 

“How so?” His brow quirks, a playful smirk splayed on his lips.

 

Arachne comes back in before we can go on about our conversation. In her hands, a silver necklace, silver watch, and a tassel chain with the symbol of Panem on it.

 

“Sejanus stop flirting and let him get dressed. Weren’t you two just hating each other yesterday.” She playfully shoves Sejanus off the bed and attaches the tassel to my suit jacket. I put on the black suit pants and undershirt. Arachne isn’t wrong about the black overkill, yet it makes my pale blue eyes and white skin stand out. The suit jacket has silver buttons that only snap at the waist. She places my necklace on along with my tassel. Sejanus is behind her as she straightens everything out. His eyes are eating me up and I want nothing more than to know what it is he’s thinking. Arachne is right though, I never know where me and Sejanus stand. We fight like dogs over a bone when we talk about Panem. But when it’s just me and him, well none of that matters.

 

“Why are you guys so concerned about my looks anyway?” I ask.

 

“You’re the leader of our alliance.” Arachne says.

 

“Leader?” I ask.

 

“Me and Arachne think your charm works better with people. How else do you get internships with Gaul and professors singing your praises?” Sejanus comments.

 

“I’m smart.” I say defensively.

 

Do they think I bat my eyelashes and say pretty please to get what I want?

 

“Yes. Book smart and people smart.” Arachne says. Then she’s rushing us along.

 

Her Avox is the first thing I see when I step outside. He’s tall, his mouth is covered in a floral printed cloth. “Cute isn’t he.” Arachne says. When we are in the car Sejanus tells Arachne to stop at his house first. He wants his Avox. It’s almost ironic. Sejanus himself should be an Avox and here he is, in all his protect the innocent righteousness, picking his Avox up to do his biddings for the day.

 

“Why don’t you have an Avox Snow?” Arachne asks.

 

“Don’t need one. Plus, they creep me out.” I stare at Arachne’s Avox as I say the words.

 

She swats at me, “My Avox isn’t creepy, the floral cloth really helps with that. I think if more people decorated theirs, they’d be more accepted in public areas.”

 

I look the man up and down. He’s practically my height. If not taller. “Do you know where he’s from?” I ask.

 

She shrugs, “Never thought to ask. Hold up how many fingers.” She tells him.

 

He holds up ten fingers. Then flashes only two. Twelve. He is from District 12. I look at Sejanus who is already uncomfortable.

 

“When did you get him?” I ask.

 

“Well for someone who doesn’t have an Avox you sure are concerned about him.” Arachne mocks.

 

“My father died in 12.” Is all I say.

 

“Oh…we got him after the war. They say he was caught trying to go to that wasteland District 13.” She explains.

 

“How far did you make it?” I ask the Avox.

 

His eyes dart around the room and I know his breath has picked up because the flap around his mouth moves in and out. I pull a pen and paper out of my satchel, sliding it to him.

 

“Coriolanus!” Arachne swats at me harder than she has before. “Are you trying to get us killed.” She hisses.

 

“I’m curious, let him answer.” I tell her.

 

She sighs and nods to Avox, “The thing probably can’t even spell.” She huffs.

 

Oh, but he can. He scribbles hastily on the paper and a few minutes pass before he is giving the paper back to me. I stare at the handwriting, it’s well for a boy from the lowest ranking district. I begin to read it aloud.

 

“Far. I made it very far. Far enough to see people walking about District 13…” I pause looking to him, “Are you lying?” I ask.

 

He shakes his head furiously. A garbled noise leaves his mouth and then he just sighs. Usually, I would laugh. But something about his attempt to tell me the truth but not being able to isn’t funny. It’s interesting. There is meaning behind Gaul’s punishments. Avox’s see all types of unspoken horrors and secrets. Yet, they can never tell them. Only someone as daring as myself would make them write it down instead.

 

“Stop,” Sejanus says, snatching the paper from my hands, “He’s been tortured enough.” He crumples the paper, shoving it in his pocket.

 

We arrive at the Sejanus’s house and his Avox gets into the car. She is matching Sejanus, a cream dress with a golden belt snugging her waist. Oh, how cute, I think to myself while I mentally roll my eyes. Her eyes shoot daggers into my own. I had almost forgotten how many awkward encounters me and the thing have had.

 

“You’re going to be lonely today. Everyone at the Capital University brings an Avox along with them, or at least a maid.” Arachne comments.

 

“Like I said, I don’t need one.” I reply.

 

“Good, I’m sure any Avox assigned to you would be praying to die.” Sejanus rolls his eyes.

 

Once again, I hate the game me and him play. Sex buddies and then enemies when we speak about anything related to Panem. When we arrive at the university, we realize we have the same schedules. Our first class is with…. Casca Highbottom? He never really taught classes at the Academy being the Dean and all. Still, I can’t imagine him being useful in teaching Military Strategy. Also, I thought Gaul had killed him. We walk to class but not without Felix and Festus joining along.

 

“Did you hear about Clemensia.” Festus gossips.

 

I look to Felix, because surely if your father is sending people to their death then you must know. He shrugs, “Another one bites the dust.”

 

Arachne scoffs and her and Sejanus leave me with the two boys. I am beyond irritated with today already. We make it to class shortly after the other two.

 

“Welcome to Military Strategy. Of course, none of you students will ever see direct war. It is important to mind that we are always in a position of war with the Districts. The rebels are persistent.” He paces across the room as he goes on. Some of us children have seen war.

 

My focus has shifted around the classroom. Sejanus sits on my right, Arachne on my left. Festus is next to Felix who is next to Arachne, and I begin to think about that drunken night we had. I quickly shake it from my mind, I was drunk beyond belief. Nothing more and nothing less. Sejanus is intently focused on the lecture at hand. There’s many other students, all dressed their best. There’s one boy I swear I’ve seen somewhere but I can’t put my finger on it. I really think, going back to my days in the Academy when my name is being called.

 

“Mr. Snow?” Highbottom says.

 

I look on the board, the words “District 12: War Strategy” is written in thick chalk letters.

 

“Yes.” I respond.

 

“I asked what was District 12’s strategy during the civil war?” He repeats.

 

“Yes, uhm it was to divert the opposing with fires in the trees. Behind those fires their men awaited our soldiers, killing them.” I answer.

 

He nods, “Can anyone tell me notable figures who died in District 12, fighting for our freedom.” He looks around the classroom.

 

The emphasis of the word “freedom” does not pass me. Highbottom is one of the officials who were strongly against The Hunger Games in my last year at the Academy. But what does he gain from bringing my father’s name into this? He’s messing with you Coriolanus, I tell myself. Sejanus raises his hand, “Commander Crassus Snow was one.”

 

“Yes! What was his family the head of?” Highbottom goes on.

 

I want him dead. No one knows that answer but me and Sejanus.

 

“Munitions.” Sejanus answers.

 

“Yes! Correct again Sejanus.” Highbottom says.

 

The boy who I still can’t remember where I know him from raises his hand, “How did we decide to let a District 2 family take over our munitions then?” He asks.

 

Arachne scoffs, “Did you not pass the 8th grade Lexan?” She teases.

 

Lexan, that’s his name. I don’t know him, I guess. He turns in his seat. He’s gorgeous. Jet black hair and green dark eyes that illuminate his face. His brows are sharp and clearly kept pampered.

 

“I did. I just figured the Dean of the Academy would have more insight.” He snaps back.

 

“Sejanus, tell the class.” Highbottom says.

 

Sejanus is gripping his feather pen so hard that his knuckles have gone white. I understand why Highbottom would want to bother me—not really—but why Sejanus? I slide my hand under the table, rubbing his knee. It may come across as comforting but truly I’m begging him not to snap. Not to go on about how inhumane it was that his family turned their weapons against their own instead of the Capital. He swats at my hand.

 

“My father subdued District 2 then pointed his weapons to District 13.” He says through gritted teeth.

 

“That’s not all,” Highbottom raises his eyebrows, “District 2 fought back against the battalion your father,” he points to Lexan, “Commanded. Strabo Plinth aided him in defending that battalion. Now, moving on.” He goes on to talk about the effects of the war and what we now do to whip the districts of Panem into shape.

 

Sejanus stands, his Avox following him as he leaves the classroom. I look to Arachne and we both get up following him. This ally stuff will for sure be the downfall of my University career. Sejanus is squatted on the floor hands in his face, his Avox is rubbing his back.

 

“Sejanus stand up I’m not squatting in this dress.” Arachne snips.

 

He looks up, eyes teary. I could kill that Lexan kid. Still, I hate that Sejanus gets so emotional. You don’t see me crying and my parents are dead. I squat down to Sejanus, telling his Avox to move.

 

“Get up. Now. If you think some kid mentioning what your family did to their own district is bad wait until you take over the business yourself.” I tell him.

 

“Coriolanus please, you’re not good with your words you’re making it worse.” Arachne tells me.

 

“Well at least I’m being realistic. He can’t cry every time the districts get brought up. Half of the careers in the Capital are based on making district lives a living hell.” I try to explain myself.

 

“You don’t find anything wrong with that?” Sejanus snaps, his voice raspy.

 

“Here we go again.” I stand up as I speak. “I don’t have time for this. Pull yourself together and come back to class.”

 

I’m over this. His whole defender of the districts act falls apart when you realize he is a MUNITIONS HEIR. I walk away from the two and back into class. Festus and Felix eye me, but I have no time to explain why we have a crying district boy in the hall. Before Highbottom dismisses class, he goes on about how we will need study groups, in this class they will act as the groups for our projects as well. Each group will need six people. With Festus, Felix, Arachne, and Sejanus we only need one more. Of course, Sejanus and Arachne have not yet come back.

 

“We only need one more person, Sejanus and Arachne will be in our group.” I tell Festus and Felix.

 

“Is Sejanus going to be able to handle this class? I don’t really feel like having to subdue a rebel mid-presentation.” Festus laughs. Felix laughs along.

 

I bang my hand on the table, drawing slight attention from people around us, “He is not a rebel. Watch your mouth.” I tell Festus through gritted teeth.

 

Festus plays too much. He just laughs and gives a shrug. Though, I’m grateful for his calm reaction because had he fought back, I might be expelled from the university.

 

“Okay so who’s going to be our sixth?” Felix asks. I eye the room and before I can say who, Lexan stands from his seat and sits next to me.

 

“Looks like you guys need someone in your group.” He smirks.

 

“No, we don’t.” I smile.

 

“Uh yes we do.” Festus says. I see why Arachne left him and Felix out of our alliance. They are stupid. Can’t read a room for the life of them. I doubt they even read books.

 

“Great. We should go to library, I’m a great note taker you guys can review mine.” Lexan says. Anyone who says they are good at something instead of just showing it, isn’t good at it. Gaul taught me that when I first worked with her. I listed off all the things I was great at when it came to Biology and Chemistry. She made me demonstrate each one. Turned out I wasn’t as good as I said.

 

“Yeah, we’ll see.” I say.

 

“Don’t mind him, he’s a bit cold but you get used to it.” Festus tells Lexan.

 

To my dismay. To my absolute full-hearted regret. Lexan follows us out of the classroom. We find Sejanus and Arachne where I left them before. She’s still baby talking him and I cough loudly as a warning. At least Sejanus isn’t in the floor crying anymore.

 

“Lexan here invited himself to our study groups that are required.” I tell them.

 

“Oh, great now we have three idiots tailing us.” Arachne sighs out, “Oh well, let’s go to the library. This is our only course for the day.”

 

All libraries are owned by the Heavensbee family. I always wonder how they kept them so well organized and cleaned during the war. Hilarius is already inside talking to Lysistrata. I stop by and say my hellos.

 

“Snow!” Lysistrata beams. Hilarius nods his head toward me. Lysistrata is sweet, kind, and smart. I can’t hate her how I so freely hate everyone else.

 

“Lys,” I smile giving her small hug. Because no matter how much I like her I hate touching unnecessarily. “How’s the first day going for you two?”

 

“Good, we have Highbottoms class later tonight. After, we were thinking about throwing a party at Hilarius's house. His parents moved at and gave the mansion to him.” She giggles. Hilarius isn’t one of many words when he’s not drunk or talking about some book, he has read about Panem before our time. I like it because why do people talk so much? Hilarius nods approvingly at Lysistrata’s words.

 

No, I do not want to go but I can’t say that before my oh so kind ally Arachne accepts the invitation. She asks who will be there, what time, what’s the attire, and if Avox’s are allowed in case she doesn’t want to drive herself home. Lysistrata answers all her questions seamlessly. She looks to Lexan.

 

“You can come to. The top 24 of our old Academy class are usually the only ones there but you seem normal.” She smiles.

 

“We don’t know him that well. He’s just apart of our study group.” I say.

 

Sejanus looks at me like I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t care. I do not want to get loose around Lexan. He seems like he’s got more to hide than an Avox. Lysistrata shrugs, “Don’t mind Snow, he’s- “

 

Before she can finish Lexan clicks his teeth, “A bit of a dick.” He finishes her sentence.

 

“I was going to say ‘a bit closed off’ but...” She trails off. Then her and Hilarius are off.

 

I turn to him. Looking him up and down before we take a seat. He pulls out his notes which are nothing more than word for word what was on the board. Arachne copies them down and so does Sejanus since they spent half of class crying in the hall.

 

“So, your family really is from the districts? It must be weird being here.” Lexan says.

 

“He’s been here for eleven years I’m sure he is used to it.” I reply.

 

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Lexan says.

 

Everyone’s eyes widen. From today I have learned that everyone thinks I’m a dick they just tolerate it. It should make me feel bad, but it doesn’t. I have no shame in shutting people up the way I do. No shame in making it known I’m the best at what I apply myself to. No shame in speaking my mind. So why should I pretend I’m nice now? I feel Sejanus’s hand on my leg. He’s begging me to keep some peace.

 

“No, it’s not weird anymore.” Sejanus says.

 

“I see, I knew a guy when I was in school. Apicata was his name, he was from District 2 as well. Quite the douchebag, like you,” Lexan points to me then shrugs, “I always assumed it was because he just couldn’t get used to lifestyle.” Lexan says.

 

Sejanus’s hand freezes on my thigh. I am positive Apicata’s grave must be shaking. Because how often can a dead man be brought up without his ghost wishing for rest. Tigris used to tell me people never really die they just leave their bodies here with us. Maybe it was just her way of comforting me when my mother then father died. Arachne stands, gathering up Sejanus’s things and I begin to gather mine. She grabs Sejanus’s arm and the two of them are off again. I follow them into an empty classroom and Sejanus shoves Arachne’s hand off him.

 

“Sejanus calm down.” I say to him. I hate the way he’s been so angry lately, so tense.

 

“He’s fine. Who is that kid and why does he know about Apicata?” Arachne asks.

 

“She knows?” I look at Sejanus. He nods.

 

“Arachne get me some tissues from the bathroom.” Sejanus says. She goes on, her Avox in tow.

 

“I told her the morning we went to court. She told me her dad wanted us to be allies and we traded secrets as some sort of swear.” He explains.

 

“Oh, well how come I didn’t have to share a secret?” I ask.

 

“You did. You just did it unknowingly. Me and you aren’t exactly a public item.” He points between the two of us. His voice is so low, and I know he’s thinking about Apicata.

 

I lean in to his face, kissing him with all the passion I have in me. He kisses back and for just a moment I’m not in Panem. I’m not sending people to death or making mutts with Gaul. Sejanus was right about me needing an outlet. His arm wraps around me and then his hand is groping my ass. This is all much hotter when we are dressed so pompously. I lap at his lips and then pull back from the kiss.

 

“It’s going to be okay.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t think so.” He mumbles.

 

“Sejanus, you have everything in your palm of your hands.” I caress his face, “Don’t let your feelings about the districts get in the way.” I tell him.

 

“Don’t touch me like that without asking.” He says, removing my hand.

 

Right. I am his now, not vice versa. I don’t complain, I just allow him to move my hand. Arachne shows back up with no tissue. I realize he was just telling her that to politely get her out of the room. She must have picked up on the code. I wrap my hand around Sejanus’s, squeezing tightly, then letting go.

 

“Let’s go. We have a party tonight and I wouldn’t mind studying on Coriolanus’s bed before we go.” She says.

 

I never had a friend group. I mean sure I hung out with the kids who were top in the class like me. Still, I never really got to know them. I knew Arachne was a bitch and I knew Sejanus was annoying. I’ve gotten to know them both differently these past few days. Before this, I was so alone. I didn’t notice it all those years. But with everyone saying how cold and closed off I am, I realize I indeed am. I only got along with adults up until now. On the way to my house, I ask Arachne and Sejanus if they are going to bring their Avox’s over.

 

“Why not?” Arachne asks.

 

Since she knows about me and Sejanus. Since she knows about Apicata—I indulge her in the fight I had with Sejanus’s Avox.

 

“You hit a girl?” She asks, mouth agape.

 

“Is that all you got from that? The thing can talk!” I yell. I’m less angry, more annoyed that Arachne is worried about me hitting someone.

 

Arachne rolls her eyes, “Sejanus having a talking Avox doesn’t faze me. If anything, I expect it from the empath.” She shrugs.

 

I am defeated. What good are friends if their only purpose is commit and be okay with treason. We get to my house and Arachne insists on talking to Tigris about fashion before we study. Me and Sejanus get to my room without her. He unbuttons his suit and takes the jacket off. I tell his Avox to leave and she does so. I walk over to him.

 

“Let me help you.” I say.

 

“Yes, please.” He replies.

 

I undress him slowly, making sure to press my hands into his skin as I do so. If I am to be limited to touching him, I want to take it all in when I can. He’s so buff. It seems natural mainly because I can’t imagine him in the gym. He smells like me, and I like it. I like the smell of his natural scent laced with the heavy rose scent I douse everything I own in. I give him a pair of soft pants I have for sleep and a t-shirt. He looks at me for a long while after he’s changed.

 

“What is it?” I finally ask.

 

Before he can say anything my TV flickers on and a short version of the anthem of Panem plays before Lucretius Flickerman is on the screen.

 

“If you’re eating, stop. If you’re reading, put the book down. Today we celebrate the prosecution of traitors to Panem as we know it. Julius Dovecoat and Semele Dovecoat will be hung in the square in just 10 minutes. I and all my cameras will capture what happens when you spite Panem. Thank you, and now for weather. It’ll be a bit sunny in…” Sejanus shuts the TV off.

 

“Just forget about it, right?” He looks to me.

 

“I’m sorry Sejanus.” I say, not knowing what else there is to say.

 

“You are not Coriolanus. You don’t get sorry for things like this. You’d be sorry if I never spoke to you again, because that affects you. But someone dying who you don’t need, no, you’re not sorry at all.” He tells me.

 

“I won’t apologize for that Sejanus.” I reply. I was just trying to make him feel better. I didn’t ask for a psychoanalysis of how I handle my world.

 

Arachne pushes my door open. “Did you guys see?” She asks.

 

We both nod and then we are being pulled outside, down to the square. I am surprised Sejanus hasn’t protested to this viewing party of ours. He’s seen death in the square once. It was brutal the way he described it. The amount of people waiting to see them hung is shocking. It’s not as rowdy as Sejanus described but close enough. The two Dovecoats stand on steel boxes. Their necks are tied to thick metal rope that looks like it’s never been used. Her mother’s eyes are shut, her fathers are defiantly open. Clemensia stands behind but in between the two. Two peacekeepers remove the steel boxes in sync. The choking noises ensue. Clemensia sobs, begs for them to stop. She screams out asking someone to do something. No one moves an inch. I look to Sejanus who has his eyes shut tight, hot tears streaming down his beautiful cheeks.

 

When the choking noises stop the crowd disperses. Clemensia flies free from the peacekeeper who was holding her and clutches the feet of her parents. Sejanus and Arachne go over to her. Sejanus is right. I do not care. Not a bit. I want to, I really do want to be included in what they feel. Yet, I’m only feeling discomfort at their willingness to hug someone whose parents have just been hung. She cries into Sejanus’s shoulder and Arachne hugs her from behind. Oh, let’s just have a sad party why don’t we, I think to myself.

 

Sejanus grasps her chin in his hands, tilts her head up, and kisses her. Any empathy I was trying to have (I wasn’t) is out the window. I turn around and walk back home. If the two want to join me, they will. Their Avox’s are still in my house anyways. I get home and ignore Tigris. Everyone’s judgmental eyes are too much for me right now. I’d like them to put themselves in my shoes and see how bad they feel for the Dovecoats then. Clemensia will be no one soon and I’m happy for that. Sejanus can’t kiss her if he’s by my side running the country. I am lying on my bed, and my eyes are almost shut when I hear sniffling. The sound grows louder and louder as if it’s coming to my door. Arachne slowly opens my door and there it is. Clemensia. The guilty cunt is in my house. Sejanus puts his hand up to me in defense.

 

“Just listen.” He says.

 

I scoff, “You two really have some balls.” I say. I shake my head at them.

 

“Snow, she just needs to shower.” Arachne tells me.

 

“Oh? She doesn’t have a home anymore? Did they hang that too?” I ask.

 

“Coriolanus! Let her take a fucking shower!” Sejanus snaps at me.

 

Me and him stare at each other. His chest heaving. I am fine. You can’t read me, I think, not one bit Sejanus. His eyes mean business. Like Gaul, he has become one of the people I try to read into deeper.

 

“Fine. She’s not coming to the party tonight. I don’t need her and Lexan snaking around.” I smirk at the cleverness of my own words.

 

I lie back down, and Arachne and Sejanus take the girl to my bathroom. Soon my eyes are fluttering, and drowsiness falls over me. So draining it is to deal with all these people with all these emotions. I’m sleep faster than I thought I’d be.

Chapter 9: First Day: Part 2

Summary:

Coriolanus cries.
Sejanus is shifting.
The allied trio is maybe falling apart.

The crying wakes me up. I roll over and glance at the clock. I think Lysistrata said her class was over at 9 tonight. It is 9:30 pm and Clemensia is still here. Still in my bathroom. I walk over to the bathroom and lean in the doorway.

 

“She just needs more time Coriolanus.” Sejanus explains without me saying a word. I just blink at the scene before me. Clemensia curled up in a ball sobbing. Arachne rubbing her back and Sejanus holding her hand.

 

“Leave her with Arachne. Come here.” I tell Sejanus.

 

He stands and once he is through the bathroom door, I shut it. “Why did you kiss her earlier?” I ask immediately.

 

“Seriously, Coriolanus you just woke up and that’s what you’re worried about?” He asks.

 

What does he mean? Why would I not be thinking about that? “Should I have ignored it?” I ask back.

 

He sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It wasn’t an emotional kiss. I’m trying to give the girl whose parents just died some relief.” He explains.

 

I laugh, “Relief? What’s next, are you going to relieve her with your dick?” I scoff.

 

Sejanus steps so that his chest is against mine, “You’d hate that wouldn’t ya?” His eyes are lowered and tone deep.

 

I bite at my lip and feel my cheeks flush with heat, “You can do whatever you want.” I say trying to act calm.

 

“Oh? So, you’re okay with me giving Clemensia some,” He wraps his arm around my waist and his other hand around my throat, “Relief.” He says.

 

I’m so easy. It only took one time of Sejanus being inside me for me to crave it again. Like I said, he’s right about me being on top of everything and needing the release. So why, why does he withhold that release from me? Why did he kiss her?

 

“No, I’m not okay with it.” I mutter.

 

“Speak up.” He kisses at my jawline.

 

“No, I am not okay with you…giving Clemensia what is mine.” I tell him.

 

“I’m yours?” He pulls back from his kissing to look me in the eyes. “Oh?” Sejanus says with fake shock. “Tell me again honey, tell me I’m yours.” He whispers in my ear. He’s teasing me and I’m letting him. Because whatever he has to offer I want. I need.

 

“You’re mine.” I tell him. His grip tightens around my throat as he pulls me in for a kiss. His tongue takes no time in invading my mouth and sucking my saliva. I moan into the kiss. It’s over too soon for my liking. He pulls away, releasing all his holds on me. He excuses himself and goes back into the bathroom, I follow.

 

“Listen, Heavenbees party is tonight, it’s rude to say you’re going to be somewhere and not be there.” I tell the three of them.

 

“Well can she sleep here?” Arachne asks.

 

Clemensia looks at me, her face red with grief. “I-I won’t t-touch anything. I’m just scared to be outside.” She sobs as she finishes her sentence.

 

“Yeah, whatever. Make yourself a cot on the floor. I don’t want you messing my sheets.” I tell her.

 

“You can sleep on the bed.” Sejanus interjects.

 

I look to him, because what the actual fuck does he think he’s doing. I scoff. “Sure. Get ready, I’m positive the party has started now.” I say.

 

Arachne gets Clemensia undressed and borrows one of my shirts to drape her in. The chef brings tea that they apparently ordered earlier. Then Arachne is off getting dressed in Tigris’s room and Sejanus’s Avox brings him a fresh suit. I decide to dress in the white and red outfit Arachne had wanted me to wear to school. Once we are all dressed Arachne and Sejanus bid Clemensia farewell and we are in the car. We drop the Avox’s off because they do have to sleep eventually. Heavenbees mansion is covered by thick bushes and one gate. The gate slides open once our car arrives and the driveway is so long that it takes a few minutes for us to get to the actual entrance of the home. Hilarius comes running at the car. Yeah, he’s drunk.

 

“Guys! I thought you weren’t going to show. Come in, come in.” He beams.

 

We walk in and you would think we were at a state sanctioned event with all the food, drinks, and Avox’s to our disposal. He leads us to the main room where everyone is sitting on couches and chairs drinking away. Felix sees Arachne and kisses her. I look around the room and see all familiar faces. Lysistrata is dancing on Livia Cardew when she sees us. She drags Livia with her over to us.

 

“I placed a bet with Hilarius that you all would come!” Lysistrata laughs.

 

I smile, “How’d you know we’d show?”

 

“Because you’re too proper to say you’ll be somewhere and then not come.” She explains.

 

She’s right. Another thing I like about her. She uses her common sense. Livia is eyeing me, and I say hello because honestly, it’s making me uncomfortable.

 

“Oh, hi there.” She smiles.

 

I can feel Sejanus’s eyes on me. If he can kiss other girls to relieve them, then who am I to stay loyal? I had, just moments ago, told him he is mine. I’ve said that before and this time he didn’t respond. He just left me to go tend to Clemensia again.

 

“Want to get a drink?” I ask her. She nods and we are off. I don’t look back to see Sejanus’s face. He didn’t look to me when he was lip locking with Clemensia. Who is now sleeping in my bed by the way. Livia is apparently really good at mixing drinks. She pours two shots of both tequila and vodka into a shaker then adds pineapple juice. I take a sip, forcing my face not to tighten up.

 

“Good?” She giggles.

 

“It’s actually sort of sweet.” I lie. It isn’t sweet but it’s strong and I enjoy that too.

 

She is gazing into my eyes the way Sejanus does. I tell myself I need a few more drinks before I go kissing girls. Sejanus wasn’t my first kiss, I had kissed Lucy Gray before him. The both of them were different from Livia. Livia is a lady. Sejanus and Lucy Gray are tattered by the life of being district. Livia is clean, pure and light. I finish my drink in a swig after my first sip. She cheers me on, then mixes me and herself another.

 

“Let’s head back to the group.” She suggests.

 

She takes my hand, and we are back to my allies and her friends. We all talk, and Sejanus stays quiet. He’s not staring me down like he would if he were upset. He’s just sipping his wine. Hilarius tells us how devastated his parents were about the Dovecoats death and mostly everyone hums in agreement. I ignore the conversation as they go on about how kind the two of them were. Until Felix opens his incompetent mouth.

 

“I heard Highbottom couldn’t finish the trial, and they called you up.” Felix mentions, looking to me.

 

“Yes, I am my father’s only son. They needed someone else to continue the trial.” I explain.

 

“Jeez, I wish Gaul liked me enough to ask me to be a judge.” Hilarius laughs.

 

“She doesn’t like you?” I ask.

 

“Her and my father don’t have the friendliest conversations is all I’ll tell.” He explains.

 

Everyone laughs but I’m not sure what’s funny. Livia places her hand on my thigh and leans on me as she laughs. “Well, your dad doesn’t get along well with anyone.” Livia tells Hilarius.

 

“He’s just old-fashioned. The Capitals changing, he just has to get with the times.” Hilarius jokes.

 

Livia hasn’t moved her hand but it’s not exactly bothering me. The doorbell rings and everyone’s head snaps over. Sejanus stands telling us he will get the door.

 

“Thank you,” Hilarius says, “If it’s the peacekeepers tell them to find someone committing real crimes.” He laughs.

 

I follow Sejanus because the last thing I want is him mouthing off to a peacekeeper. The doors of the main room shut behind us and he shoves me against the wall.

 

“What the fuck are you playing at Snow?” He asks.

 

“What?” I’m more thrown off by his aggression. I know exactly what he is asking me.

 

“I swear if you do anything with the Cardew girl we are done.” He threatens.

 

“So, you can kiss and almost fuck Clemensia, but I can’t look at anyone else? Does that make sense to you Sejanus?” I spit.

 

“I keep telling you I’m just trying to be there for her. Her family is dead Corio!” He yells. He looks around before lowering his voice, “You don’t even like girls.” He says.

 

“Fuck you Sejanus. I’ll do what I want because that’s what you do. The moment you change maybe I will too.” I push his hands off me and it’s only seconds before he’s snatching me up again by suit jacket. He pushes me to floor, and I genuinely see red. I feel so belittled, so small and I can’t believe Sejanus threw me. I look up at him, his face is furious with all sorts of anger.

 

“You only care about yourself Coriolanus. I told Arachne that when she begged for me to make up with you so we could be allies.” He goes on. So, is that all this was? Him playing allies with me? “How about you change, I don’t need fixing.” He says. He walks away and opens the door. I quickly stand up and follow him. Whatever argument we are having isn’t over and I’m not waiting to get drunk to argue with him. When I get to the door, I see Lexan standing there.

 

“Didn’t we tell you not to come.” I smile condescendingly.

 

Sejanus doesn’t say anything. His breath is still heavy from our recent…encounter. “Well, Lysistrata said it was fine. Didn’t think you owned the party.” He walks past me.

 

We follow him and before Sejanus walks through the doors of the main room with Lexan I pull him back.

 

“What, Coriolanus?” He snaps.

 

“We’re done. Okay. We can be allies but that’s all.” I tell him. My throat constricts and I can feel my eyes get watery. I don’t let the tears fall. I walk past him and into the room. Arachne shoots a look at me, maybe trying to figure out why Sejanus isn’t with me. I sit down next to Livia, wrapping my arm around her waist. She’s quick to snuggle into me. Arachne is shooting daggers at the girl with her eyes. Lexan is going around talking to everyone.

 

“I don’t like his energy.” Hilarius says.

 

See, the man only speaks his mind when liquor is in his body. I nod at his words. “He’s quite the dick.” Everyone laughs.

 

“Coming from you that’s rich.” Felix says.

 

“True, it’s like you calling someone incompetent.” I tell Felix.

 

Lysistrata spits her drink out from laughing so hard and Festus falls out of his chair. I shake my head and their unruliness. Sejanus is back, he takes a seat on the arm of Arachne’s chair. He whispers something in her ear, and I roll my eyes. What is the point of having allies who both hate your guts. Maybe they don’t hate me. It could all be in my head. The two of them are closer to each other than I am to them. An Avox comes by with a tray of drinks and everyone grabs one. Hilarius is really drunk because he kisses one of the Avox’s on the lips slurring a thank you. Lysistrata hits him jokingly telling him to leave the poor things alone.

 

“Sorry, so sorry.” He slurs. “I think it’s balcony time. I want to play that game Sejanus told us about from back home.” He suggests, quirking his brow to Sejanus.

 

So, now everyone is walking to the balcony which is larger than the one at the presidents mansion. The walk there is full of stumbling and laughing. Sejanus has barely drunk and once we are outside, I am wasted. The liquor takes a moment to settle but once it does it swallows your body. We get in a circle around a glass table and Felix mentions how we don’t have an empty wine bottle.

 

Festus and Felix turn to me with a smirk. “No, no not again. I felt that bottle of wine for two days after last time.” I say shaking my hands at them.

 

“Come onnnn!” Festus jests.

 

I fake a sigh and grab the bottle. It’s bubblier than the last one and much less sour. It takes me thirty seconds to finish the bottle. A burp involuntarily leaves my throat when I’m done. I slur a few “excuses me’s” but everyone is laughing too hard to care. Sejanus rolls his eyes.

 

“You okay Janus?” I ask. I can feel my words getting caught on my tongue as I try to tease the boy.

 

“Just not looking forward to dragging your ass home.” His tone is snarky.

 

“I’m sure you’ve dealt with worse living in the districts and all.” The insult flies out of my mouth without thought. He squints his eyes at me.

 

I place the bottle on the table, “Whose ready for spin the bottle?” I ask. It takes the tension out of the group.

 

Sejanus hasn’t stopped glaring at me. Arachne spins the bottle first and the bottle lands on Lysistrata. The girls giggle and give each other a peck. Festus spins the bottle, and it lands on me, I sloppily kiss the boy and even Festus looks shocked.

 

“Coriolanus! Leave some for the rest of us.” Hilarius jokes.

 

Then Hilarius spins the bottle and the damn thing lands on me again. I shake my head but I’m late as Hilarius grabs my cheeks and slams his lips to mine. He looks back at the group, “Oh! He’s sweet.” He laughs.

 

Lexan is next to spin the bottle. I had almost been too drunk to remember he was here. He flicks his wrist as the bottle spins, and it lands on none other than Sejanus. His green eyes look up and when he sees Sejanus he smirks. Sejanus finishes the drink in his hand steps up to the boy. He’s so hot, so smooth in the way he walks and moves his body. I’m jealous. The feeling only burns brighter as he takes Lexan’s chin into his hand and licks at the boys lips before full on tongue kissing him. Arachne’s jaw is dropped and Lysistrata is so drunk she makes “ooo” noises to their kiss. The kiss is long, and people intent eyes don’t make it any better for me. I pick up another glass and drink the contents in one swig. I don’t want to wait for the wine to kick in. I bite my lip and wish nothing more than for me to be Lexan. He’s no idea how lucky he is to have Sejanus devouring him to hungrily.

 

Sejanus pulls back, a light laugh falling from his lips. “Sorry guys, I like my toys with dark hair.” He shrugs. Our group laughs and I force a small laugh out. Nothing is funny.

 

“You like your boys with dark hair it seems.” Livia jokes.

 

A few laughs are let out, but Sejanus tilts his head, “You’d be surprised how many of us prefer boys with dark hair.” He says.

 

Livia laughs, too dumb to know what he’s talking about. The game continues and finally it is Livia’s turn to spin the bottle. She doesn’t really spin it though, she gives it a shove so that the direction of the bottle lands on me. She presses her hands on my lap and leans up, locking her lips to mine. Her lips are small compared to Sejanus’s and they lack the sweet taste his hold. I force her mouth open with my tongue and she allows it. At least she’s submissive. I’m only pulling back when I hear her moan into the kiss. The high-pitched whine reminds me I am truly not kissing Sejanus like I want to be doing. Livia was the last one in the circle, so our little game is over, and I’ve never been more relieved.

 

I get up and stumble as I try to get to the bathroom. Hilarius asks an Avox to help me out and he does so. Our walk to bathroom is full of me asking dumb questions I know the thing can’t answer. It’s not that I want to know. I’m just so drunk that words are spilling out of my mouth like saliva. I let a sigh of relief once I finally pee. I zip my pants up and drunkenly wash my hands. I tell the Avox to go. It’s weird having the thing around for too long. I’m hunched over the sink trying not to throw up when Sejanus and Lexan come stumbling in. Their hands are laced together as Sejanus kisses at his neck.

 

I pull myself together and give Sejanus a deadpan stare. “Really?” I ask him. I hope I don’t sound as drunk as I feel.

 

“You drank too much Snow you should go home.” Sejanus says carefully.

 

“I think I’m fine. On the other hand, you must have lost your mind.” I say.

 

Lexan looks confused and he should be. Because he doesn’t know anything about the boy that’s fondling him.

 

“You said your piece and I heard you. Let it go Snow.” He tells me. His hands are snug around Lexan’s. Oh? Let it go? I’m too drunk to do anything but feel terrible. That’s when I feel the lump in my throat grow, the tinge of salt water in my eyes. I wipe my face just in case and hurry out of the bathroom.

 

Arachne is standing outside the girls bathroom talking to Lysistrata. When she sees me her face fills with worry. I bite at my lips to suppress whatever emotions my body is trying to get me to feel. I walk past her as quick as I can but she’s following me.

 

“Snow wait up. I can’t run in heels!” She shouts behind me.

 

I have failed. The tears are hot as they stream down my face, and I want nothing more than to sleep. Sleep would wash this away. I’d be my normal put together self again. Her hand clutches my shoulder, and she turns me around. “Snow what’s going on? You told Sejanus it was done between you two.” She asks me.

 

“Yes, Arachne I know the words that came from my fucking mouth I needn’t you to tell me!” I yell at her.

 

She removes her hand from me, “So then why are you acting like he can’t do what he wants? He told me about Gaul’s lab. You can’t toy with him only when you feel like. For all that’s good in Panem you need to figure out what you want. I know you’re not one to cry for someone else. But Sejanus is, so he deserves that back.” She tells me.

 

Great. The heartless, cold, dick Coriolanus doesn’t deserve the sweet and soft Sejanus. “You don’t know anything Arachne. Whatever Sejanus told you is one side of the story.” I snap.

 

“You show your side enough for me to know it is true! You are psychopathic which I don’t care for, but Sejanus wants you to change. You never will, you’re just built like this.” She walks away then turns back, “Get another drink in you, you look miserable.” She leaves.

 

My whole body is buzzing, and my teeth feel soft in my mouth. I step outside and sit on the porch. What am I doing? Getting drunk with my classmates, letting criminals sleep in my bed, making out with boys, making out with girls? I look up to the sky, the stars dance so softly. What would my father think? The man who was so stern, so unwavering to any kind of bullshit. And Sejanus. My boy. My perfect boy. What have I said? I think about Gaul. She told me I could have both power and love I’d just be a lot less exhilarated. I stand, waving over one of the cars parked out front. I tell an Avox to let Sejanus and Arachne know I’m leaving and then get in the car.

 

“Go to the Academy please.” I slur.

 

The Avox driver nods. Before I know it, I’m stumbling up the Academy steps, through the doors and to Gaul’s lab. The woman doesn’t sleep and if she does, she does it here. I hear clanking around shake my head, trying to be less drunk. What am I doing? I asked myself again.

 

“Mr. Snow?” Gaul says when she sees me, “What are you doing here?”

 

I shrug, “I don’t know.” I say.

 

She blinks a few times at me, “Have you been crying? Are you drunk?” She asks.

 

“Yes, and yes.” I admit. I sit on the floor, in my expensive suit.

 

“Get off the floor,” she waves an Avox over to help me up, “don’t tell me this about Sejanus.” She groans.

 

My tears spill again, “No.” I lie.

 

“Snow, I told you-“She begins.

 

“I know. I know.” I let a sigh out. “I’m sorry for cutting you off ma’am.” I wipe my face.

 

“Still so polite even in your despair.” She takes her gloves off and sits in the seat across from me. “Coriolanus, what’s wrong.”

 

“I need to be the president. I must pass university at the top again. I have everything now and,” my whole body feels so heavy as I try to talk, “And I still want more. Still want Sejanus.” I sob now. My body wracked with emotions I’ve never in my life felt before. I’m so embarrassed and it doesn’t help with the tears.

 

“It should start raining outside soon. Walk home. Feel the earth cry with you, then let it go. Evaporate this feeling, shove it somewhere you can’t even find it yourself. People either benefit you or drag you down, there is not an in between.” Her voice is steady. So soothing.

 

I nod. She goes back to slicing and dicing and I walk myself out. I’m still so very drunk and I regret not asking her for a remedy for this feeling. The stairs feel forever but when I reach the bottom there’s a car waiting. An Avox with an umbrella opens the door and Arachne steps out.

 

“I thought you’d come here. Get in before the storm gets worse.” She says.

 

“No. I’m walking.” I tell her.

 

“Coriolanus get in the fucking car!” She yells.

 

I’ve never heard her cuss before, so I go ahead inside. When I step into the car, I see Lexan sitting next to Sejanus. I immediately hate ever listening to Arachne. I sit opposite of them and shut my eyes. I know I look like I’ve been sobbing, and I don’t care. Once we’re all in Arachne begins questioning me about my trip to Gaul’s lab.

 

“She’s my mentor Arachne I can visit her.” I tell her.

 

“Okay so tell us what it was about.” Arachne drags on.

 

“Corio, we just- “Sejanus speaks up.

 

“Shut the fuck up. Genuinely if you speak to me again, I’ll break your fucking neck.” I don’t yell. My words are stern, sharp even.

 

“You have some serious issues dude.” Lexan says.

 

It’s my last straw. I mean truly the last thing I needed to hear tonight. Does the little shit not think I don’t know who I am? I know I’m harsh, mean, cruel, but I am right and powerful. What should I care. So, before anyone can stop me, I’m yanking him from his seat next to Sejanus and throwing punches at his dumb fucking face. Arachne is screaming and telling her Avox to get me off of the boy. Sejanus tries to yank me by my suit jacket but can’t. Sejanus has seen me kill a child. I know he must be thinking I would do the same to Lexan. But no, I just want to hurt the boy. Make him understand that my words aren’t to conceal some act. This is truly who I am.

 

Lexan is poorly defending himself and the Avox is doing no good job at getting me off him. Sejanus finally rips me off the boy and I am satisfied with my work. He groans on the car floor, his head against the table that once held drinks. I take the handkerchief from my suit jacket and wipe my hands off before sitting back down.

 

Arachne is shocked, too shocked to move. Sejanus is making sure his new boy toy is still breathing. Lexan spits out a glob of blood and stands up, dusting himself off. He takes a seat, and I just glare at him. I can feel the smirk forming on my lips.

 

“What the fuck was that for?” Lexan asks.

 

“Oh, that? I was just making sure you knew to watch your mouth around me from now on.” I tell him.

 

Arachne straightens her dress out, “I hate you guys. We can never have a nice night.” She sighs. “Tell me you have a doctor at your house?” She asks.

 

“Yes of course, Lexan needs one.” I smile to the boy.

 

When we get to my house, I tell Arachne where the guest rooms are and the medics. Arachne takes Lexan down the hall. Sejanus asks me if he should get Clemensia. I nod to him. We walk to my room without a word. Clemensia is curled on the floor in a blanket. I step over her.

 

“She’s fine here.” I tell him.

 

“Coriolanus, why did you do that?” He asks.

 

“You wouldn’t understand if I wrote you an essay and tattooed it on your eyes. Nor do I care to explain myself. Have fun with your boy toy and leave me alone, okay?” I tell him.

 

He walks over to me, his hand caresses myself and I can’t help but dip my face into the touch. “Okay, Corio, I will.” He whispers. The he leaves.

 

I take a deep breath then run a bath. I sit in the hot water, watching the blood wash off my knuckles nothing feels real anymore. Gaul is right. I’ve been distracted from my goal, from the reason for this all. I did her biddings that night to subdue Sejanus. Somehow, I’ve managed to become his boyfriend without a label and now his enemy. I want nothing more than to be in his arms tonight. My body is still so heavy from my drunkenness and just thinking of Sejanus has me hard. I wrap my arms around myself. I’m physically warm but so very cold inside. Maybe that’s how I should be? That’s how I was before Lucy Gray and Sejanus.

 

I drain the water so that it sits just above my belly button. I rest my head on the edge of the bath and ignore the hardness in my dick. I want to rest and that’s what I’ll do.

Notes:

So... what are you guys thinking lol.

Chapter 10: The Districts

Summary:

Choo choo bitches.

To my surprise, I see lots of my classmates from the party in class. I’m not sure how long they stayed after I left. When I woke up this morning Clemensia, Arachne, Sejanus, and Lexan were gone. I decided to sit in the furthest seat I could from all the others when I got to class. I want nothing to do with anyone. Gaul gave me medicine for my hangover when I stopped by her lab this morning to apologize for my actions last night. Apologies aren’t really my thing, but things like that hold little matter when I am with Gaul. I don’t need to pretend to be anyone but myself. Even with her medicine, my stomach is upset. I knew I shouldn’t have drunk that bottle of wine. That’s another thing I lost sight of while chasing Sejanus. My sanity. I used to never do the same thing twice after it caused me agony. I stop gazing around the room when Arachne and Sejanus walk in. I immediately lock my eyes to the blank sheet of notebook paper in front of me. To my dismay, they both sit next to me. 


“We thought it would be smart to give you some space this morning.” Arachne says. She clicks her teeth when I don’t respond. Free will is a great thing. I do not have to speak to her. Nothing is forcing me to do that. I think I will enjoy using my free will to ignore her.

 

“Corio, we can all move past last night.” Sejanus says in a hushed tone. I roll my eyes. Whenever Sejanus is trying to be kind his voice differs. Instead of a soft honey-like sound, his voice pitches six thousand octaves up.

 

“You know, you don’t have a reason to be upset with us. You’re the one who assaulted a man for making a snarky comment. You’re the one who broke things off with Sejanus.” Arachne points out.

 

“Great observation.” I say. I’ve lost the battle of not talking in order to be sarcastic. Whatever. They are saying quite provoking things. Sejanus says something about talking Lexan out of “retaliating” and that is when my head snaps towards him.

 

“Does he know who I am?” I ask him. It is rhetorical of course. Lexan does know. Everyone knows.

 

“I told him. Arachne warned him it is better to leave it alone.” As Sejanus speak his eyes drift behind me. I don’t have to turn around to know it is Lexan. Sejanus used to look at me that way, like I was a normal person and not some evil abomination. Lexan is walking towards us with a bouquet of red roses. Each flower has bloomed perfectly, and the stems are greener than his eyes. He stops in front of our desks and sets the roses before me.

 

“For you, Snow.” He says.

 

I smirk, leaning back in my seat. I tap the rose that sits snug in my suit pocket, “I prefer white roses. Pure.” I tell him.

 

“I’m doing you a favor by not going to the university dean.” He snarls back.

 

“Dr. Volumnia Gaul?” I ask.

 

“Yes.” He is so smug when he says it, I can’t even laugh at him. Sejanus and Arachne let out a sigh. I am positive this isn’t what they thought he would do after they told him to drop it.

 

“Have you met her? I can introduce you two, she’s…quite fond of me.” I say.

 

“I’ll accept the olive branch.” He shrugs. Oh, he is so stupid, and he is so dead. He walks away and I push the roses over to Sejanus, “For you, Plinth.”

 

I grab my stuff and move to the opposite side of the class. If the two of them want to play allies, then they are the ones who have a lot of making up to do. First off, who in their right mind thinks I have making up to do. I bite at my lip, something I have found myself doing far too often. I taste blood as I daze off, thinking about how shit my personal life is becoming all because I fucked Sejanus months ago. I wonder what Lucy Gray would say. She’s probably sitting in the Victor’s house not even thinking about the Capital. Then, like a lightbulb bursts in my head I gasp. The kid next to me looks over and skooches his body away a bit. Lucy Gray is in the Victors Village. Surely, Gaul could send me to twelve on some assignment and then I can see her. I mentally smile then compliment myself. Smart, diligent, and astute. I am all three. Highbottom goes on about subduing hope in the districts and how that directly correlates to the rebels philosophy. I didn’t even notice class started. I look over to Arachne and Sejanus, but they aren’t where they were sitting before. The roses sit by themselves. I find them and they are sitting with Lexan. If they want to be allies again, they are truly off to the worst start ever.

 

“Whose flowers are those?” Highbottom asks.

 

“Coriolanus’s.” I hear Sejanus’s voice ring out across the classroom.

 

Play it cool Snow. Do not let him embarrass you like that. “Those are actually Sejanus’s, his boyfriend Lexan brought them for him.” I say. The classroom erupts in laughter and gasps. Sejanus is red, flushed with embarrassment. For a bunch of university students, you can tell we graduate Academy at just sixteen.

 

“Enough!” Highbottom yells out. He walks up the long isle of high rising desks and snatches the roses, dumping them in the trash. “Class is dismissed for the day. Good luck testing over material you were too immature to listen to.”

 

Everyone is still quietly giggling. I get out of class before my two allies can even gather their things. I follow after Highbottom who was the first to leave the classroom. “Sir!” I shout out. For a man with such small legs, he is rather quick.

 

He stops and turns to me, “Snow. How unpleasant to see you.” He says.

 

“Sorry?” It’s not really a question, I am just always put off when he so outwardly hates me. Him not liking me has never made sense. Yes, we are on opposing sides of The Hunger Games, but I am just a student at the end of the day. He is the one who created the games.

 

“Did you need something? Or did you stop me to make another one of your in-depth jokes?” He questions.

 

“I was wondering if you knew anything about Lucy Gray. If she was well or not.” I explain.

 

He laughs, not with his stomach, it is to mimic me, “Yes, she is well. Anything else?” He says. I feel like I’ve gotten myself into a dead-end question.

 

“People say you were close with my father. I don’t hear many stories of him outside of war tales. I’d love to sit down sometime and maybe hear some.” I say.

 

He sighs, “I see through you Coriolanus. They say snow lands on top but what happens when it melts? Slushed around by people’s tires and mixed in with dirt. It’s unpleasant to look at. I remember your father every time I look at you, you both are so charming to everyone except people with a real brain.” He turns, walking away from me before I can get a word in.

 

I am the furthest thing from slushed or melted. I am stone cold. Icy, like the very season that is on its way, winter. I watch him until he disappears into a room and then I head to the library. With Highbottom’s attitude if I am going to get a trip to the district I’ll have to go to our dean, Gaul. Gaul always wants a written proposal. The librarians are Avox’s who usually can lead you to books you simply ask about. I ask for the history of the districts, and I am lead to a large section. The Avox pulls out beginner books for me and I am not insulted. I only know what I needed to know about the subject to pass tests. University requires more than that. We must write pages upon pages about one topic so often you are reading beginners information anyways. I read for at least three hours before the words on the page start jumbling together. My bed is where I want to be, but I decide on taking a bathroom break then getting back to work. If I am going to get a trip to the district, I’ll have to go to our dean, Gaul. Gaul always wants a written proposal.

 

Felix and Festus are gossiping when they catch sight of me their whispering ceases. “You two should really get girlfriends.” I snark.

 

“I have one, Snow.” Felix replies.

 

“She’s barely around you.” I retort.

 

“So warm and cheery you always are.” Festus jokes. Always joking that one. “By the way why was Sejanus crying after class? Does he know he’s the son of a munitions tycoon or what?” Festus goes on. I zip my pants up and let out a sigh while I wash my hands. “What?” Felix asks.

 

“Nothing, just happy to see the boys back to his usual whining self.” I say before leaving.

 

It’s as if the world hates me. I mean truly wants me to roll over and give up. As soon as I walk out of the bathroom Arachne and Sejanus are waiting for me. “Where’s your boyfriend, Lexan?” I ask.

 

“Coriolanus please, let the whole Lexan thing go.” Arachne pleas.

 

“No.” I look down to her then over to Sejanus, “You look a mess, are you okay?” My voice is laced with sarcasm.

 

Sejanus clenches his jaw, his voices cracks as he tells Arachne he can’t do this. He walks away and Arachne trails after the sad thing. I decide on going to Gaul’s lab to talk about Lucy Gray rather than read more. It seems the longer I’m inside the building the worse my luck gets. Before I can leave the world sends another obstacle my way. I ignore the peasant. The bug. But he is persistent.

 

“Listen the roses weren’t an insult. I saw them at your house when I was there and it’s not like white roses just grow everywhere.” He explains.

 

I finally turn to him, “That’s because only my family grows them, idiot.” I continue walking.

 

“If this is about Sejanus, I don’t want him. It was a one-night thing, I told him that. I want us to be friends, everyone seems to like you despite your…inability to reciprocate.” Lexan explains. That’s why Sejanus was crying. I wonder if he’s ever cried over me. Was I tear worthy? Still, I am happy to hear that Lexan doesn’t reciprocate Sejanus’s feelings.

 

“There you go again, trying to toy with me.” I tell him.

 

“I’m not. Well, I was trying to get to you through Sejanus, but I didn’t realize he was your boyfriend.” He says.

 

“He wasn’t. Never was.” I explain.

 

“Maybe we could hang out then, my father owns the rooftop restaurant near the presidents mansion. I could rent it out for us.” He smirks. I’ve already settled on hating the boy and not even his families money and those captivating green eyes could stop me.

 

I dip my head down so that our lips are dangerously close, “Lexan, you can’t out do the doer. I play games, and I play them well. Ask the Dovecoats grave what happens when you challenge me.” I walk away from him before he can say anything else

 

I call a taxi and shut my eyes once I am inside. Immediately Sejanus flickers through my mind. Sejanus. Why are you stuck on my mind like this? When I get to Gaul’s she orders me to watch some rats with her. The rats foam at the mouth and their teeth are triple the size of any rat I’ve seen. She releases two of them in a glass box that has faux grass in it. Then she drops a piece of cheese. They ignore the food and continue snarling, foam dribbling down their teeth. Next, she grabs a finger. I don’t know whose and I refuse to inquire. Gaul drops the finger inside the biome and with a twitch of their noses the two rats rabidly pounce on the flesh. When they are done only a bone remains.

 

“Wow.” I say.

 

“That’s all I get? Wow? I’ve bioengineered a rat to only want human flesh.” She explains.

 

I nod, “It is impressive. What’s it for?” I ask.

 

“The next Hunger Games.” She says. She dumps the two rats in the dissolving vat. “How are your classes going?” She asks once I don’t respond to her grand idea. I catch on and I’m quick to tell her I think it’s a good idea to have mutts the tributes can’t kill even if they were smart enough. The rats being the best example of that.

 

“But my classes are fine except with Highbottom. He hates me.” I say.

 

Gaul slows her movements, “Did he divulge you in the reason?” She asks.

 

“Do you know?” This has become somewhat awkward which is hard to conjure up between me and Gaul.

 

“Not at first, no. I truly did think your father came up with the idea of The Hunger Games. Highbottom was smart but no snake. That day in the lab when Clemensia got… the flu…I really did think it was her paper that you stole.” She tells.

 

“I’m not that stupid.” I say. Then I am thinking, what does she mean about my father coming up with the idea of The Hunger Games? Could it be that he was the Clemensia who died before getting caught.

 

“Are you calling your father stupid?” She questions.

 

“No, I’m saying back then I couldn’t afford the luxury of jeopardizing myself like that.” I explain more.

 

“I liked your father a great deal. Still do.” She takes a sip of steaming milk, “He just always hated being a snake. He wanted to mask that however he could. You wear your snakeskin like it’s your own.” She says.

 

“What’s that mean?” I ask. Gaul speaks in code sometimes like she’s trying to say something but not really trying to say something.

 

“Here you are today, on a day we don’t meet up, because you want something. You aren’t afraid to do that.” She sets her milk down, “By the way, what is it that you want?” She asks.

 

I didn’t know I was so obvious, but I wasn’t exactly trying to hide it. I do come to Gaul when I want things like advice, knowledge, and even intel on the Capital’s governance. “I need to see Lucy Gray.” I admit.

 

“How can I help?” The question is honest, so I give her my idea.

 

“Our class is discussing the way of life in the districts and how it is perfectly crafted to keep their minds on anything but rebellion. A field trip would be quite hands on learning, don’t you think?” When I’m finished, she just stares blankly at me.

 

We stay staring at each for a whole minute or more—it feels like more. “As the Dean I guess I can force Highbottom to do so. What’s in it for me?” She asks.

 

I hadn’t thought of that part, “Well, what is it you want?”

 

“You get your bird to sing at this year Hunger Games.” She proposes.

 

“Yes, that’s easy.” I say.

 

“Really?” She squints at me.

 

“I can convince her of anything.” I tell Gaul. “Gaul, who created the games then? My father or Highbottom?” I ask. She opens he mouth to answer but a knock on her lab door turns my head and then Strabo Plinth is walking in. I stand up telling her I’ll excuse myself. I walk past Mr. Plinth and give him as much of a polite smile as I can bear. When I close her lab doors behind me, I am met with Sejanus and Arachne.

 

“Did you guys follow me here?” I want to punch Sejanus’s face at the way he rolls his eyes while I speak.

 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Arachne shrugs condescendingly then leans in, “What are you doing with Gaul? Conspiring to send us to the square for being bad friends?” She questions.

 

I laugh and it is genuine. The two of them stare at me angrily. “No, I’m not worried about you two. I think Lexan would be a great replacement for me, don’t you Sejanus?” I turn my head to him. “Allies come and go, I’m no different. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare for our class field trip to District 12.” I walk away from them, ignoring their confused looks and questions.

 

When I am home, I head straight to my study room and begin the paper. I write for hours and ignore Tigris’s calls for dinner. A proposal like this might be seen by the president of Panem so, if I am to one day take his place it would be wise to impress the man. I know his son won’t be taking the position because the boy has no real ambition. I on the other hand have all the ambition of Panem coursing through my blood. I put my pen down, slouching my body into my chair. My mind drifts to Sejanus. I shut my eyes tight trying to get the image of the man’s body out of my mind. The act only furthers my imagination, and I can feel my pants tightening.

 

I unzip my pants, and I begin palming myself through my underwear. My hand grasps around my clothed dick and find the sensation pleasing. I begin to jerk myself and I allow a moan to slip from me. My pace picks up and I start rutting my hips into my hand. Sejanus’s whispers echo in my mind. Him telling me how good I am, looking at me with hungry brown eyes and kissing me everywhere. I shove my underwear off to grasp my dicks skin. My hands are so cold compared to Sejanus, so slender compared to his thick hands. Still, it doesn’t take long before I am whining, I muffle the noises with my wrists. I don’t like the sound of my voice in such a desperate state. Before I know it, I am spilling all over my hand, Sejanus’s name falling from my lips in a repeated mantra.

 

I’m too ashamed to move for a while. When I do, I clean myself off and snatch my proposal up. I roll the sheet up and tie it together before placing it into my satchel.

------- ----- ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------ ------- ------ ----- --------

Winter comes and goes. I spent most of the season in long political talks with Gaul, President Ravenstill, and the Plinth’s. Occasionally, Sejanus would come but I gave word to Gaul that he is distracting. He never added anything to the conversations, just sat there with this judgmental look on his face. Sejanus’s presence was much less often after that. I grew close with his father though, he would take me to lunch after the talks and explain to me in detail why the Capital was placing more peacekeepers in one place than another. Or why we were investing money into District 1 instead of District 11. Sejanus’s father is intelligent for someone from the districts. Through my time spent with the three billionaires I found myself being able to propose my district field trip. President Ravenstill thought it was a great idea but the Plinth’s said the Capital children couldn’t handle it.

 

They may be right but here I am getting of the train at the District 12 stop. The train ride was faster than I thought it would be. Sejanus and Arachne sat across from me the whole ride and the silence wasn’t awkward for me but the way Sejanus shifted around in his seat every five minutes gives me the feeling he for sure was. It could be, of course, the fact that he is on his way back to a district for the first time in a decade. Part of me wants to comfort him somehow but then I remember he is not mine anymore. Not my boy, not my Sejanus.

 

“Peacekeepers will be assigned to each group of three. Your goal today is to learn about the life of those in the districts, avoid taunting them.” Highbottom warns before we step off the train. Sejanus steps off ahead of me and I can see his body tense up once the air hits him. The peacekeeper following us around doesn’t say a word. He just keeps telling us where we can’t and can go. It’s not long before I am arguing with him.


“I’m here on presidents orders,” I shove money in his hand, “Go find something interesting to do.” I tell him.

 

Sejanus and Arachne follow me as I walk away from the peacekeeper. Sejanus stands in front of me, “Presidents orders?” He questions.

 

“Gaul wants Lucy Gray to sing at the games. So, I’m going to the Victors Village to speak to her about it.” I explain.

 

Arachne is looking around her like at any moment a monster is going to jump out of one of the ran down homes and attack her. “Well, you bought off our peacekeeper, so we are staying with you.” She huffs. “This place looks gross, why couldn’t we go to one of the cleaner districts like 4 or 2.” She complains.

 

We walk past so many slumps I’ve lost count. Compared to the Capital this place does look terrifying. Dogs with their bones showing lazily walk around sniffing at empty cans. The people look at us like we are aliens from another place or like they want to slit our throats and eat us. The smell is pungent, like sulfur and I can feel my throat becoming drier as I breathe in coal dust. Sejanus has his arm around Arachne because the girl truly looks like she’s on the verge of running back to our train. When we reach the Victors Village, I don’t have to knock on the door to find Lucy Gray. I can hear her.

 

“No mate, no comrade Lucy knew. She dwelt where none abide. The sweetest thing that ever grew, upon the mountainside…You yet may spy the fawn at play. The hare among the green, but the sweet face of Lucy Gray will never more be seen.” Her voice is majestic, like water smoothly trinkling down a stone. I step on a branch and the crack is so loud she jumps. The chords on her guitar play a funky sounding tune in her shock. She turns her head slowly, suspiciously.

 

“Coriolanus?” She says, standing up and brushing herself off. She runs to me, throwing her body into my arms.

 

“Lucy Gray, you look well.” I tell her.

 

“The Capitals been feeding me,” she looks behind me, “Sejanus? What are you doing here. And her?” She asks.

 

I tell her it’s better we talk inside. She brings us in and the noise of the covey I’ve only ever heard tales about fills my ears. The kids zip and zap around the house laughing and tussling. Arachne clutches Sejanus’s arm.

 

“No need to be scared girl. They aren’t monsters.” Lucy’s voice is full of judgement.

 

“Excuse her, she’s a bit uptight.” I tell Lucy.

 

The Baird gets us bread and goat cheese as we sit at her table. The home is gorgeous, lined with the most classic Capital look you could get. I almost don’t hate it. We talk about how things were after the games. How she spent restless nights for a while and then finally she could get some sleep. She tells me her singing caused a few riots to which Arachne gasps at.

 

“Well, what is it you were singing?” Arachne asks.

 

I put my hand up to stop Lucy from answering, “Arachne’s father is the head of the advisory council. I wouldn’t speak too much around her.” I warn Lucy Gray. Because if she is to sing, she is to be alive.

 

She clicks her tongue, “I was genuinely interested I’m not some informant.” She says.

 

“I was singin’ a song about the land. How no one owns it, not even the Capital.” She explains.

 

“The one about the common and the geese?” Sejanus chimes in.

 

Lucy smiles at him, “Yes, that one. Ya know it?” She asks.

 

“Sure do.” He says. He hums to tune, and Lucy shut her eyes bobbing her head along. She must be too afraid to belt the words out. Sejanus can sing, I can hear it through his deep-toned hums. Me and Arachne force ourselves to eat the bread and cheese while the two enjoy the song together. My whole life I’ve suspected the separate districts were just a ploy. Now I know it. Because how does a boy from district 2 know any song my bird sings.

 

“We are here on a field trip. Coriolanus thought it’d be beneficial for students to have first-hand accounts of the districts.” Sejanus explains once their tune is done.

 

“How would seeing this hell hole benefit them?” Lucy asks.

 

Sejanus looks at me his eyes full of judgment. I roll my eyes and ask Sejanus and Arachne to look around the house while I talk to Lucy.

 

“No.” Sejanus says.

 

Lucy eyes the two of us, “You two not faring well?” She asks.

 

“They’ve been arguing like Flickerman and his camera men.” Arachne laughs at her own joke, but Lucy doesn’t get it. It makes for quite the awkward interaction.

 

“Arachne, let me show you, our garden. It’s very district maybe you’ll learn something.” Lucy stands nodding for Arachne to come with her.

 

I want to say no, or stop—or literally anything that will stop them from leaving me alone with Sejanus. My weakness, the man that when I am not avoiding, I am jerking myself off to thoughts of. The worst part is that it’s hard to keep up the act that I hate his presence when we are alone. His eyes lock to mine and I immediately look away.

 

“It’s been a month Corio.” He says.

 

“Please, don’t call me that.” My voice is low, calm. I intend on keeping it that way.

 

“Why not?” He asks. I don’t think he has ever asked me that.

 

“It isn’t my name.” I say.

 

“I guess that makes sense.” He replies.

 

I miss when me and Sejanus could lie together for hours. When we never felt the need to speak, just touch each other. I miss him lying on my chest and listening to my heartbeat. Looking at him, talking to him is pushing all those feelings to the forefront of my mind.

 

“Me and Lexan went on a date.” It’s random, I have no idea why he told me that.

 

“Oh? Was it nice?” I ask.

 

He shakes his head, “He’s a lot like Apicata.” Sejanus says.

 

“I thought I was a lot like Apicata?” I’m somewhat offended because I am nothing like Lexan. The correlation disturbs me.

 

“Apicata was the only heir to his families works, he was cold but understood everything and everyone, he was attentive, and he was a liar.” Sejanus explains. “Lexan is the liar.” He finishes.

 

“How do you know?” I inquire.

 

“You just do. Except with you, I never know if you’re lying or not” He goes on.

 

“Well, I haven’t. Not really.” I explain. I can’t remember what I would have lied to Sejanus about. I’ve always been so blunt towards him. “You sort of demand my honesty.” I say.

 

“Really? Do you still love me?” Sejanus asks.

 

“I don’t think I ever did. I don’t know what that feels like with a person. I just know I wanted you bad and that it wasn’t working.” I look him in the eyes when I say this. I’m afraid he’ll think I’m lying. Or that I am just saying things to hurt him.

 

“Oh.” He says.

 

“Do you love me?” I ask. I shouldn’t, I really should not be asking him this.

 

“Yes. It’ll pass though.” He says. His hands pinch at his pants.

 

I don’t want it to Sejanus. That’s what I want to say. I don’t though, I just look at him. I want him to say something else. But, why? What will I gain from this conversation except being sucked back in to Sejanus’s overly empathetic world. Still his words seem too depressing. His eyes flutter shut then open again, he most notice my staring because how thick brow quirks to me. 

 

“What, Coriolanus?” He asks.

 

“What do you mean it’ll pass?” I ask, even though I know.

 

“I’ll get over you, eventually. Maybe it’ll be when you do the unforgivable.” He explains.

 

“And what would that be?” My curiosity is genuine.

 

“I have no idea. You’ve done things I wouldn’t think of doing in my worst nightmares, yet I still let you touch me.” His voice is full of shame. For himself or me, I’m not sure. I must be special then, to break the barriers of Sejanus Plinth’s empathy. It’s silent after that. Him, with nothing more to say and me, thinking too hard to speak. There’s a wide window in the kitchen where we sit and Sejanus stares blankly out of it. I try not to stare at him too much, but I’ve been avoiding him so much that I miss being able to look at him. I bite down on my lip, trying to think of anything to say. I want him to keep speaking. His tone is in the honey-like state, not too pitchy.

 

“I wouldn’t take back anything I did. I needed to do it all to stay on top.” I want him to understand that.

 

He sighs, “No matter how you explain it, it’s wrong.”

 

“Wrong to who?” I ask.

 

“Wrong to Lucy, wrong to the Dovecoats, wrong to that boy in the arena, wrong to me—the boy you fucked in Gaul’s lab to get her to like you.” His voice is low but so pained as he goes on.

 

“I did what I did to you in Gaul’s lab for you. It is the only selfless thing I had ever done.” I tell him.

 

“Well, look where it got you. I guess you should stick to doing stuff for yourself.” He stands up from his seat and goes outside. Do not chase after him, I tell myself. Do not do it. I bite my lip again, blood seeping into my mouth. I stand up and follow him. “Sejanus!” I shout at him. He keeps walking until he’s at the edge of the grass plains that separate the Victors Village from the rest of the district. The grass is tall and wispy. Almost whimsical if it weren’t for the coal districts scenery. I sit down next to where he has taken a seat.

 

“Please Coriolanus, leave me alone. You’ve no idea how hard it’s been trying to forget about you, then you sit there all smug like you did me some favor that night.” He tells me.

 

“Gaul suggested I poison you that night. No, I wasn’t fond of you like I am now, but I knew you didn’t want to die. So, I did what I thought would shut you up.” I try to explain.

 

Sejanus looks to me, “Fond of me? You’re shitty at showing it. You ignored me for weeks!” He shakes his head, his chest heaving with anger.

“Did you like it? Having me on my knees for you? Shoving yourself inside me while I was on my stomach, begging you for more. Bet it made you feel powerful.” His words are piercing.

 

“That’s not what you are to me, you’re not some pawn in my game to make me feel better.” I try to explain. At one point he was though.

 

“My parents wouldn’t have given you the prize if you killed me. So, that was never an option Coriolanus.” He scoffs. “Do you think I’m that stupid?”

 

I don’t say anything for a while. Sejanus isn’t completely wrong, after what happened in Gaul’s lab, I was terrified he’d be angry, and it would jeopardize the money. Still, when I went to his house that morning I wanted him. Things just kept getting in the way. I don’t know why his dad was so angry that morning that I spent the night at Sejanus’s. All I know is Sejanus is caring and kind while I am not, and it does not work in my favor to have someone so compassionate around.

 

“Sejanus,” I say. “I was just focused on myself. I tried though, I told you how poor I was, how hungry I was to be great. That night I meant each and every word and it was all because I wanted you.” I explain.

 

“Why’d you end it at Heavenbee’s party then?” He asks.

 

“You were changing me. I wasn’t focused on my studies. I was playing allies with you and Arachne. It felt good to have friends, but I don’t need more obstacles in my way of getting what I want.” I tell him.

 

“And that is what I am, an obstacle.” He scoffs.

 

“No. Well, yes. You don’t have to be though. I don’t care about wrong and right I just know what I have to do to be the future president.” My words take Sejanus out of whatever pissed off state he is in. He turns his head slowly to me.

 

“Do you even picture dating me, or was it just sex?” He asks.

 

“Where is that question coming from?” Truly, I don’t know the answer. I am also too afraid to say yes, it was just sex then it was something else.

 

“President of Panem? You think I’ll marry you as you rule over the very nation that kills- “I throw a hand over his mouth before he can finish his words.

 

“The districts are heavily monitored Sejanus,” He swipes my hand away and I let him, “I get what you’re saying, okay. That’s why we don’t work. I won’t ever not be Capital. It is where I was born, it is who I am.” I explain. Why is Sejanus talking about marriage? Has he truly thought about me that way even after all our awkward fights and disagreements?

 

“So, how many kids will you kill? By the time you’re president we’ll only be on what, 20th Hunger Games. You’re really okay with that?” His question is so sincere I almost feel bad that I already know my answer.

 

“Yes, I’ll keep them going if that’s what stops another war.” I am on the defense now. Sejanus was stored away in his father’s fortress during the war. He has no idea how ugly it got. I starved for weeks at a time. I don’t even want to think about.

 

“What you and Gaul are doing will only breed more children who are born into a world ruled by fear. Fear does not work to oppress people it only starts fires you can’t see.” His words are sharp and sure. Like he knows something I don’t.

 

“Gaul says it isn’t fear that The Hunger Games ensues. It is the killing of hope. The Hunger Games show these people that when it comes down to it, they will kill each other to survive. There is no hope in that. Only fear.” I explain. I know he will think it is evil, but maybe he’ll understand.

 

“These people.” He mimics my words. “It is wrong Coriolanus. Come on, Arachne is probably offending Lucy Gray left and right.”

 

I follow Sejanus into the house. Lucy and Arachne sit at the table talking. Lucy looks over to me and Arachne stops talking to say hello to us. I sit next to Sejanus, and I don’t know why. “Arachne was just telling me about how your Capital wants me to perform at the next games.” Lucy says.

 

“Oh, yes. I hoped to bring the news to you myself but,” I shoot a look Arachne’s way.

 

“Tell me Coriolanus, do I have a choice to perform for your Capital.” She asks.

 

“Our Capital.” I correct her. “I’m not sure, no one can force you to sing but I don’t know.” I hope she gets what I am saying. Of course, you can’t force the bird to sing but of course they can force you to die.

 

“Yes, our Capital. I’ll do it.” She says.

 

“You don’t have to.” Sejanus chimes in.

 

What the actual fuck? Is Sejanus’s life goal to make mine harder. “I know. But I like being alive. Your home isn’t so forgiving to those who decline their offers.” Lucy says.

 

“Not my home.” Sejanus says.

 

“We should go, before our classmates wonder where we have been.” I tell them. Sejanus and Arachne get a head start and I am sure it is so Sejanus can tell her about our conversation.

 

“So, you and Sejanus?” Lucy asks.

 

“We aren’t dating.” I say.

 

“I know, still you look at the boy like you want to cage him up. You can’t muffle a man like him, he knows the Mockingjay’s songs. He’ll never be Capital no matter how bad you want him to be.” She tells me.

 

“I don’t want him, Lucy Gray. I needn’t the stress.” I tell her.

 

“Okay,” she looks at me a long while with a tiny smirk on her lips before I hug her and leave.

 

I step out of the house and to my two ex-allies. “Talking about me?” I ask.

 

“Sejanus was just telling me about your dream to be President. Tell me that isn’t true.” Arachne asks as we walk.

 

“Is nothing I tell you private?” I look at Sejanus.

 

“Not that.” He tells. This is why I was ignoring him, the feeling in my chest right now is suffocating. Sejanus can hurt me unlike anyone else. I spot Felix, Festus, and Lexan in some large building filled with people eating and drinking. It isn’t really restaurant, far to broken down for that. I walk over to them and my “friends” follow.

 

“Take your girlfriend.” I shove Arachne into Felix and drag Sejanus with me. I can’t find a private place but this alley with a million of dirty puddles will do.

 

“What else do you tell Arachne that I’ve told you?” I ask with my arms folded around my chest.

 

“I’m not doing this with you.” He scoffs and begins to walk away.

 

I push his body against the wall, “I swear Janus, if you told her about my family- “

 

“I didn’t!” He shoves me off of him. His eyes fill with tears, “You are so selfish Coriolanus, so void of any human emotion that you think everyone is as evil and conniving as you.”

 

“Do something about it.” I tell him. I am meaning to threaten him, but he snatches my jaw up, kissing me roughly. I pull away looking into the boys eyes for some answer. I don’t find one and maybe I don’t need one. I begin making excuses for myself as I lean back into him. You need this Snow, you’ve been working so hard is what I tell myself. Then I am kissing him with all my might. He flips us so that my back is now against the wall. His hands grasp at my ass and thighs. I let myself moan into his mouth and he breaks our kiss to call me his good boy. Thoughts of the first night he was inside me flicker through my mind and I want nothing more than to be with him in my room. Our make out becomes sloppy so quickly, our lips wet with each other’s saliva. Sejanus is so dominant that I give up on trying to put my tongue in his mouth and I allow him to put his in mine. It’s so invasive that I gag a little, but he doesn’t stop fucking my mouth with his tongue.

 

I feel saliva dribbling down my chin and Sejanus grips on to my throat as he pull his tongue out of my mouth.

“Thought we were over?” Sejanus pants.

 

I can’t respond, his grip is tight that speaking would only hurt. “Choked up?” He smirks to me. I am so hard, and all of this is sending me into a foggy state where all I want is Sejanus inside me again. It’s whoreish, the way I stick my tongue out to ask for more. He takes my plea immediately, sucking on my tongue then kissing me harshly. His knee slips between my legs, and I begin to rut onto him. I need him inside me terribly, but the friction of his thought is enough for now. He pulls away again and I whine. I whine for him to kiss me again like some slut.

 

“Cum for me like this, be good and cum in your pants for me.” He whispers against my lips. He begins to move his knee in sync with my hips. Sejanus watches me with hungry eyes as I grind and moan, rutting myself on his knee.

 

“I’m, ah aah Sejanus, fuck please Sejanus.” My eyes are shut tight, and I don’t know what I’m begging for. I just know I feel so good. He takes hold of my throat with one hand and hold of my hip with the other. He begins to push my hips down on his legs and it’s only moment before I’m letting out choked moans.

 

“Fuck, oh fuck.” I cum so hard that I let my body fall onto Sejanus’s shoulder. My hips buck and I whine at the overstimulation. We stay this way for a while. So long, it has been so long since I have felt his lips. I was doing so well staying away from him.

 

As if he knows what I am thinking he pulls us away from each other, “It’s okay Snow, this doesn’t need to mean anything.” He says.

 

I look up at him, “Yeah.” I pat his face and then he’s gone. Walking away to who knows where. I bite my lip, tasting blood again. I fumble around with my hands. Gaul has since told me that my habits are reflective of something called anxiety. Yet it only ever happens around Sejanus. Be good he had told me. When we are back on the train everyone is trading stories talking about how weird, disgusting, and pitiful the district was. I’m already thinking about what I’ll need to talk to the Plinths, President, and Gaul about. I witnessed no rebel behaviors outside of Sejanus knowing that dumb song. I should have asked more about it, but I was too uncomfortable to even know where to begin.

 

“The starving thing just wanted you to buy it food. That’s why it was being so sweet.” Felix tells Lexan. The two boys are talking about some girl they had seen in the Hob. Which is apparently that warehouse they were eating and drinking in.

 

“Starving or not the district thing was pretty hot. Not that I’d ever fuck someone from the districts I mean, where do they bathe?” Lexan goes on. Felix and some of our other classmates laugh.

 

Sejanus doesn’t let this slide and gets up to “use the restroom”. On his way he dumps his entire cup of juice onto Lexan. “Oops, looks like you could use a bath now.” He smirks.

 

“You can’t seriously be offended over some district whore.” Lexan says wiping his face of juice. Arachne is watching the situation with wide eyes. No matter how good of a friend the girl is, at her heart she loves drama.

 

Sejanus leans down to the boy, “Say it again Lexan.”

 

“Sejanus drop it, you act like the girl can hear us.” Felix says. Lexan laughs and Festus joins in.

 

“Shut the fuck up Felix.” Sejanus snaps at him then turns back to Lexan, “Go on.”

 

“I said, you can’t- “Lexan is cut off by the harshest back hand I have ever seen in my life.

 

I stand up immediately, grabbing Sejanus. Lexan takes this as a chance to punch Sejanus in the stomach and Sejanus throws me off him. He spits at Lexan calling him every possible name in the book before storming off into another cart. Felix and Festus help Lexan up and Arachne helps me. I follow Sejanus, shoving Arachne off me. He is the same cart as Highbottom. The professor is more high than usual, his body leans against the window and his eyes brink with pain. I walk past him and sit next to Sejanus.

 

“I do not need a lecture Snow.” He tells me.

“I know.” I place my arm around him, but he jerks away.

 

“Don’t. Just please let me be. I don’t want to be judged for having empathy.” He explains.

 

“I won’t, not this time. They were wrong for saying that.” I tell him.

 

When he looks to me his eyes are full of hope. It is falsely given. I am only mad because I too was once so skinny that if someone saw my body, they would surely know I was hungry.

 

“I can’t live like this. I should go back to district two, back home.”

 

No.

 

“What?” He asks.

 

“No, don’t go back. What if you die or starve?” I am panicking now. For what? I don’t want him around it would be easier if he wasn’t, right?

 

“What are you talking about? You don’t even want me!” He is yelling now, and I begin to feel terrible.

 

“That’s not true you just hate everything about me, you go one about how I have no emotions. How do you know what it is I want?” I snap.

 

Sejanus looks away from me and outside. He is done talking to me. We are passing district 11 now, we are supposed to stop at some on the way back, but I have no idea which ones. When the train slows, I realize we are stopping in this hell hole. I get up and ask Highbottom why we are stopping here.

 

“Train is going to refuel.” He says.

 

I sit down in front of him, and he groans. “Snow, I don’t want to speak to you. Go back to your toy.” He grumbles. I am quick to stand up. I hate that man. I hate Sejanus for thinking about leaving me. I hate this stupid trip. I hate Lucy Gray for noticing that Sejanus and I had something going on. I open the sliding door to the train and step off. I walk off the platform and although a long walk, it is peaceful. A handful of the district children are beginning to gather around the train platforms, but peacekeepers whip their batons out and the kids take a few steps back. One boy, his eyes brown as his velvety skin, stares at me wide eyed. His friends gather around him, and they begin to point and stare. I think of Sejanus. I try to think like him for just a moment. The kids are so skinny that it unease’s me, but I step through the peacekeeper barricade.

 

I walk up to the child, kneeling to his level, “What is your name?” I ask.

 

He cowers behind a taller kid before whispering to me, as if it is a secret, “Rye.”

 

How dumb, no. Sejanus would say “Very unique. I am Coriolanus.” I tell him.

 

“Coralanus? That sounds funky.” He says.

 

“No, Corio-lane-us.” I sound my name out to him.

 

“Still sounds funny.” He replies.

 

“Don’t be rude he could have you whipped.” The larger boy tells him.

 

“No, I can’t I am just a student.” I say somewhat offended. What purpose would be getting the boy whipped serve me?

 

“Coriolanus!” I hear Sejanus shout. I turn and notice him coming towards me. “The trains about to leave soon, Highbottom wants you back on.” He tells me.

 

I look back at the kid, “Nice meeting you, Rye.”

 

I begin walking back with Sejanus and it is silent. I like it. We aren’t in the sight of anyone and truly I need him to stay in the Capital, stay with me. His hands are snug in his pockets as he walks, and I slide my hand inside of the pocket with his. He laces a pinky around mine and I feel a relief I haven’t felt in months. It is all washed away when I hear a train horn blow and the grind of gears. I yank my hand out and we are both racing to the train platform. We get there just in time to watch the train leave.

 

“Fucking Highbottom!” I yell out.

 

“It is okay let’s just find a peacekeeper and talk to the mayor.” Sejanus says.

 

The walk is so long to the Justice building that I bitch and complain the whole way there. Sejanus seems at home which irritates me more. When we get there, we are lead to Mayors office. Sejanus explains our situation and I keep my mouth shut. The mayor is dark, his eyes low and worn.

 

“The next train only goes to District 2, from there you’ll be able to get back to the Capital.” He explains.

 

I refrain from rolling my eyes. He offers us a bedroom because the next train won’t be here for another 5 hours. Sejanus thanks him and we are off to a shitty bedroom. I sit silent for a long time, maybe an hour, in an armchair with peeled leather. I am so irritated that I missed the train, and I can’t help but blame Highbottom.

 

“When we get to District 2, I can call my parents from there.” He tells me. I don’t say anything. “Come lay down.” He adds on.

 

“I’m good.”

 

“I wasn’t asking Snow.” He says.

 

I get up and take my shoes off, lying down on the thin bed. He wraps his arms around me, and I let him.

Notes:

I have strep throat can you believe that shit. Let me know what ya think!!

Chapter 11: The Districts: Part 2

Summary:

I can finally move my jaw to speak, “Yes,” I pant out.

“Good boy.” Sejanus tells me.

Notes:

Let me know what ya think in the comments, ty for reading and waiting for this chapter!

Another hour passes and I still can’t sleep. Sejanus’s eyes are tired, but he stays up, listening to me, as I pace around the room complaining. “Highbottom hates me!” I groan. Sejanus hums in agreement before asking me if I know why.

 

“Actually, I do, it was my father who brought the games to Gaul, but it was Highbottoms idea. I guess he never wanted it to see the light of day.” I roll my eyes when Sejanus doesn’t reply. He probably thinks that is a valid reason to hate me.

“You aren’t your father, Highbottom just has no one else left to hate for it I guess.” He says. I ignore him, his voice is pitchy, telling me he doesn’t believe the words he is saying. He’s only trying to comfort me which is impossible when I am in eleven.

 

“I hate being stuck here.” I finally sit back down on the bed. Sejanus has gotten comfortable, his shirt off as he lies on his side.

 

“It isn’t the worst, no one to bother us for a while.” Sejanus says. He wraps his arms around my waist and places his head on my lap. “Tell me Coriolanus, why don’t you want me to leave back to District 2?” So soft, his voice is so soft when he asks.

 

“I don’t like anyone else. If you were willing, I’d give you a life in the Capital with me.” I tell him. I am being honest. I thought about it a while before I started losing my shit at being stuck in eleven.

 

“Sejanus Aelius Snow, District 2 boy, but a Capital man, husband of the great President Coriolanus Snow.” He says dramatically. “If I were docile enough or heartless enough it wouldn’t seem half bad.” He tells me. He’s cute. The way he looks up at me from my lap and into my eyes is cute. I hate that I like him, that all it took was one day of speaking to him to get him back inside my head. I say things without calculating them fully when I am around him. All emotions, no logic.

 

“So, you don’t want a life with me in the Capital? You’ll really go back to two?” I ask. Desperate, I am desperate like Sejanus Aelius Plinth. No, worse, I am desperate for Sejanus Aelius Plinth. Months of ignoring the boy just to fall apart when he kisses me, bites me, looks at me.

 

“Are you actually being serious?” Sejanus asks. I nod to him, too scared of his answer to speak.

 

“I’d have to talk to my father, let him know I’m marrying a man. If he doesn’t turn me into an Avox then, maybe, huh?” His eyes are full of thought as he speaks to me.


“You don’t want to?” I ask again, because his “maybe” wasn’t enough for me. I ignore the bit about his father.

 

“I just feel like I would grow to hate you. Maybe that’s what we need though, to love each other until we hate each other.” He tells me. “Are you gonna propose or is this the best I’m getting?” He laughs. Oh? I guess that is a thing. Grandmam told me my father proposed to my mother in a field of white roses in the backyard. Maybe Sejanus would like that.

 

“Do you like roses?” I ask.

 

“Not yours. They aren’t natural.” He tells me.

 

“Yes, they are, they just aren’t common.” I explain.

 

“Oh, sorry.” He says. “Why did Gaul tell my father I was better off not coming to meetings?” He asks.

 

“I didn’t want to keep seeing you. Also, we talk about pretty inhumane things in there. I don’t think you really add anything.” I say.

 

“I was second in our class to you.” He sits up now, his tone defensive.

 

“I know but those talks aren’t about intelligence they are about protecting Panem from…” I stop myself because this is going to lead to an argument I do not want to have, “Sejanus, we shouldn’t talk about stuff like this.” I tell him.

 

“Okay,” his eyes investigates my own with so much frustration that his tone does not match. I ignore it and lean in to kiss him. It is soft and slow, full of want. He grabs my face as if he is afraid, I’ll pull away before he has had enough of me. We end up lying down, our lips lazily kissing each other’s. Neither of us let the kiss drift into something else. No grinding, no moaning. Just kissing. Sejanus strokes his fingers through my hair, his fingers catching in my curls every so often. I lean into his touch while maintaining our kiss.

 

Sejanus pulls away to look at me, “Your eyes are so beautiful Coriolanus.” He tells me. I’ve thought the same about his, but I won’t say it aloud, it is too corny. I smile at his compliment. He kisses me once more before getting up.

 

“Where are you going?” I ask.

 

“Just getting dressed, it is almost time for us to go.” He explains.

 

I spring up with excitement. I have never hated a situation more than being stuck here. We walk to the train platform in a comfortable silence. For once we have said all that needs to be said. We are getting married. In the Capital marriage is to occur before you turn 18, me and Sejanus of course are already 18. Since the war lots of people have pushed marriage further down since we lost so many lives. On the train to District 2, it is me who does most of the talking. Sejanus just nods. I begin to realize why when I shut up and think a bit. Sejanus is going home. Back home, the face of people who saw what happened to Marcus. To face the people who know what the Plinth’s did and where it got them. The train begins to slow, and Sejanus snaps out of his trance. He sighs a “fuck” under his breath as we step off. The sun hasn’t set but it is late enough that people are off work. The mountains curl around the district as if the place will crumble without them. I’ve never been stared at so much in my life. Sejanus doesn’t look around just forward. The Mayor hugs Sejanus tight when he sees him.

 

“Aelius, you look so grown up.” He fluffs the boys curls. “Who is your friend?”

 

“Coriolanus Snow, head of his house. He advises the president along with my father.” Sejanus sounds so different. It is like his code has switched. I also pick up on the fact that he is being called by his middle name here.

 

“Nice to meet you.” The Mayor shakes my hand. He leads us to a street of markets that sells breads, butters, beer, and more. “I’ll leave you all to wander, show your friend around our District.”

 

Our? This is not Sejanus’s district. He is not really district anymore. I have no idea why the comment bothers me so much. When he is gone Sejanus doesn’t speak anymore. It is me who hands the money to the baker and gets weird stares as a skinny child hands me bread. District 2 is a lot like the Capital structure wise. The buildings are what I read is described as brutalism. The place is also so close to the Capital that I can physically see why the Plinth’s pointing their weapons at their own got them favor. We walk around as we eat, and Sejanus keeps darting his head around. “Do you want to go to the justice building and sleep?” I ask.

 

“No.” He mumbles.

 

We keep walking and I am just following Sejanus. He stops when we get to a small home, surrounded by dead flowers. In the front of the home are two small graves that I am sure nobody lies underneath. I learned while reading that bodies are burned in District 2, a superstition that souls, a nonphysical makeup of the body, linger if not burned. He walks up slowly to the door, knocking on the sad wood. For a while no one comes and then the door creaks open. A lady, with a round face resembling Marcus’s, stands in the doorway.

 

“Hi Mrs. Brutus.” Sejanus says. “May I come in?” He asks.

 

She opens her door wider, and we both enter. The home looks like a harsh winter could pierce right through the cracked woods and bad roof. She pours two cups of tea and gestures for us to sit.

 

“Where is your husband?” Sejanus’s voice is strained when he asks.

 

I sip on the tea, mint fills my mouth, and I accept it gratefully because the bread and butter we ate on the way here has made me hungry. I learned during the war that mint leaves sedate hunger.

 

The old woman shuts her eyes, “They cut his tongue out after what Marcus did. He… He killed himself shortly after.” She traces the wooden table as she talks.

 

“Did the Capital give you bereavement money?” He asks. The lady shakes her head.

 

“Of course not, his death was not caused by them is all they told me.” She says.

 

“I am so sorry.” Sejanus’s voice cracks now, tears streaming down his face.

 

“Don’t be, he couldn’t live like that. Mutated.” She places her hand on Sejanus’s balled up one, “The rebels told me you gave my boy a gift for his journey to the other side. Is it true?” She asks.

 

How the hell did the rebels know that? No one except those in the Capital knew of the situation. “Yes, I went into the arena and gave him substance. I could only get in breadcrumbs.” He explains.

 

She places a hand over her heart, “Thank you, Aelius. Thank you.” That name, I think to myself.

 

“I have flowers for Marcus’s grave, let us sing to them. Okay?” He hugs the woman and then they walk out of the home, sitting on the ground by the Brutus’s graves.

 

He begins to sing, not the song he sang with Lucy Gray from earlier. No, this one is much more somber. Still, it is laced with the sound of the covey.

 

“Deep in the meadow,” He wipes his tears. “Under the willow, a bed of grass, a soft green pillow.” People begin to gather around the home, watching on as the boy sings. His voice is so deep and rough yet so soothing. He places petals from his pocket down as he goes on,

“Lay down your head and close your eyes. And when they open the sun will rise.” His body wracks with a sob, “Here it’s safe, here it’s warm, here the daises guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you.”

 

The people who gathered whistle a tune before walking away. Sejanus hugs Mrs. Brutus who is sobbing into his shoulder. He walks her back into the home and then we walk slowly to the Justice building. When we get to the bedroom the Mayor set up for us Sejanus breaks down. He begs me to get out, to look away from him but I stay. I stroke his back as wild sobs flow from his chest to his mouth. He screams out at times, pulling his hair. I feel for my boy, my Sejanus who is far too soft for this world. He yanks himself away from my touch and lies on the floor. His buff body curled up into a ball of grief reminds me of Clemensia.

 

“I’m so sorry.” He chants over and over again. I want to tell him it’s okay. It isn’t in his mind though. He bites his hand to covers his sobs. “I should have, I should have.” He cries out.

 

“Sejanus you couldn’t have done anything. You were a child when you left home.” I tell him. I get down on the floor next to him and I rub his back again.

 

“My father, he told them to reap him. To make me realize where I could be.” He cries more. “I killed him, he’s dead and I did it.” His breath shakes through his words.

 

Strabo Plinth, traitor, bad father, and now reaper. I stay on the floor with Sejanus for a while. “Come on, get in bed.”

 

I lift him up and undress him. He is so out of it that I don’t bother to ask if he wants his pants off. I unbuckle his belt and strip him to his underwear. I bring him onto the bed and cuddle behind him. I lace my hands around him and give small kisses to his neck. He begins leaning into my kisses, his sniffling slowing down. I bite at his neck softly. I try telling myself how now the time is not to have sex, but Sejanus is grinding his ass back onto my hips, so I take that as him wanting me.

 

Once again, I fight for dominance as our mouths collide. I lose and Sejanus yanks me on top of him. I pull off my underwear and take his off, wrapping my hand around his dick and begin to jerk him off. He groans, his voice more hoarse than usual do to his crying. I lean my head down and begin to suck him off. I moan in relief, because I have wanted nothing more than to have him inside me again. His fingers lace into my curls and suddenly the tip of his dick is hitting the back of my throat repeatedly. The slob that comes out of my mouth is uncontrollable as I let him abuse my throat. He needs this, and I can feel it in the way he forces himself deeper inside my throat. Though, soon he has enough because he yanks my mouth off him.

 

“Fuck,” he moans out. His eyes are still red and face still puffy from crying. I wipe my mouth, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath. He sits up and pushes me on my back. “Need you.” is all he says as he pushes my legs up.

 

I groan as he grips my ass, pulling my cheeks apart. I pant as he pushes his dick past my cheeks. “Slow, slow Sejanus.” I plead. He doesn’t slow himself down, he rolls his hips until his tip is entering me. I pant, my mouth hanging open and tongue out. He slides deeper into me, and I arch my back. The pain is almost too much but he leans down and sucks on my nipple sending pleasure rippling through my body. I moan for him, and he hums around my chest. His tongue flicks over the bud of my nipple as his hips snap in and out of me. The ugliest noises are spilling out of my mouth, and I almost am ashamed of how easy it is for the man to unravel me. He pulls away from my nipple and grasps my throat as he truly begins to fuck the life out of me. He grunts as he fucks into me. I whine for him, and he mutters praises to me. I love it. The adrenaline he brings me is ethereal. I want to live in this moment forever, him inside of me and me at his disposal. I grip my hands into the sheets as I feel myself teetering on cumming.

 

“Don’t, don’t cum until I tell you to do so.” Sejanus tells me.

 

He lies on me so that our chests are grinding on each other’s as he continues to thrust into me. He kisses me and I cry out into his mouth. His abs are rubbing on my dick, and I want to tell him I can’t help but cum, but it’s too late. I spill between the both of us and my body convulses as the pleasure trips through me. Sejanus doesn’t stop his movements, he hungrily slams his dick into my hole as I moan and whine for more. The pleasure is so overwhelming that I can’t help but crave it again. Sejanus twists his hips so that he is hitting some spot inside me that sends chills up my spine.

 

“You’re so tight for me, so good.” Sejanus grunts. His hips are snapping slower now but just as hard, grinding into that spot that I am learning to love.

 

“Cum,” I can barely make out my words as I try to tell him, “I’m going to cum again.”

 

“Me too,” he pants into my mouth, “Cum with me my love, my Coriolanus.” Then we are both unraveling, moaning into a sloppy kiss. He kisses my neck and jawline as I come down from my orgasm.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————

The whole train ride home I don’t let go of Sejanus’s hand. His head rests on my shoulder and once we reach the Capital his parents await us. He runs into his mother’s arms, crying. Strabo Plinth glares at me before turning to his family. I know I should say something, but I don’t know what to say. Not only is no one awaiting my arrival and I am not from the districts—I do not know their pain. Arachne comes running up the train platform.

 

“Coriolanus!” She shouts.

 

I guess someone did come for me, my ex-ally, “Arachne,” I give her a soft smile.

 

“Tigris wanted to come, but she is busy trying to find stylist for the upcoming games. She sent me to get you. Are you okay?” She frantically checks my face and hands for markings.

 

“Yes,” I pull from her grasps, “I am fine. Just tired, dirty, and hungry. I need to see Gaul, can you driver take me?” I ask her.

 

In the car Arachne tells me about how her and Felix got into a huge fight causing them to break things off. I give her my condolences but truly, I do not feel bad. Anyone from a mile away could tell that Felix was too immature for her. She tries to press me about why I am going to Gaul’s lab, but I avoid answering. I get out of the car and when I make it to Gaul’s lab I am surprised to see Lexan.

 

“Snow, please join us.” Gaul says.

 

I look to Lexan who has the smuggest look on his face. “Lexan has proposed some interesting ideas that could advance the games further. He was telling them to me. I didn’t know you’d be stopping in today.” Gaul explains.

 

“I was unaware Lexan thought so deeply about the games. Or thought deeply at all.” I say. I shame myself for acting so obviously rude.

 

“I was inspired after my father told me of your ideas. Our president told him about them over dinner.” Lexan tells me. I am sick of people having parents.

 

Gaul has the slightest smirk on her face as she watches me, and Lexan interact with one another. It bothers me how invasive Lexan is. He must have figured that when he threatened to tell Gaul about what I had done to him my reaction was too relaxed. So, here he is, in my space.

 

“I came for rather personal reasons, I’ll come back at a better time.” I tell Gaul.

 

“Well stay, we are discussing the arena for the 11th Hunger Games.” She gestures to a seat next to Lexan.

 

“I would love to hear about it. I’ll stand.” I say. Gaul eyes me but I stay put. I think about the Dovecoats and how I can’t truly attribute their deaths to myself like I can the boy in the arena. What will I do with Lexan? Bludgeon him with a club?

 

“I was thinking the arena, for the first time could be manufactured by the Capital. Last year it was tried, but the rebels blew it up. This one could be untouchable.” Lexan explains.

 

“My rats whispered me an idea.” Gaul looks to me. She pulls out a map of what looks like a human sized rat cage. Brilliant. In the middle is a large wedge resembling a chunk of cheese, she points to it, “We can put weapons and more there. Then they have the whole arena to hide and play in.” She explains.

 

“What better way to put on a show?” Lexan says.

 

Shut up, I think to myself. I do much better brainstorming when there are actual intelligent people discussing matters. I hum in agreement because if I speak my anger will show.

 

“You usually have much more to say Snow.” Gaul points out.

 

“He doesn’t like me.” Lexan says flat out.

 

“I have no issue with you. I do have a lot on my mind after spending an extra two days in district 11 and 2.” I eye Gaul as I speak because she needs to know the things I saw.

 

“Lexan is trustworthy.” Gaul says.

 

This infuriates me and whatever calmness Sejanus was able to give me less than 24 hours ago dissipates. I bite at my lip before explaining things in a way only Gaul will get.

 

“The traitors home are no longer allies to us. I think they need to be watched or persuaded further. Songs, they are not tied to one place like we thought. Any rebel knows them, no matter where you’re from.” I say my piece and then I am leaving.

 

I shut the doors harshly behind me and I can hear the peasants footsteps behind me. He runs so that he is in front of me and stops me from moving. “Listen, I know we don’t get along but- “Lexan begins.

 

“No, you listen. You are not me. I have told you once, and now I am telling you twice—you can’t play this game how I play it. Now move, or you will be moved.” I tell him. He steps to the side, and I walk away. I miss Sejanus but I am in no mood to sit around and gaze into each other’s eyes. I need to figure out how to get rid of Lexan. I can’t think of one weakness the man has shown that would be useful. I am almost out of the Academy when I hear Gaul shout my name from down the hall.

 

“What is it?” She asks. Oh, the traitors and the songs.

 

“District 2 is not how it once was, they are bitter about the Plinth’s families betrayal, if we want them to be loyalist we don’t have them. Sejanus was singing a song with Lucy Gray that I, and everyone else, thought only District 12 people knew. I think this is how the Districts talk, in form of these songs.” I explain.

 

“Why couldn’t you say this in front of Lexan? The kid seems to look up to you.” She asks.

 

“Because he is only getting close to you in spite of me. I won’t give him the chance to run and tell Sejanus something I’ve said.” I say.

 

“Sejanus?” She asks.


“Oh, right, well we…” I am unsure how to explain to her I plan to marry the boy. Being gay is far from taboo in Panem, but Sejanus himself is taboo. She looks to me with expecting eyes. “We are sort of back together.”

 

“Oh Panem,” She sighs.

 

“I have zero intentions on letting that interfere with the work I have been doing.” I say quickly.

 

“I know you Snow, nothing can keep you from falling on top. Take my words as promise, you will need to change, however that is, I do not know.” She says.

 

“Okay fine. I won’t work with Lexan.” I tell her.

 

“He is promising, I’ll keep him around until he shows otherwise.” With that, she walks away.

 

I am back to thinking of how to rid the pest from my life. I walk to the university so I can do some more reading on past games. Lexan is not promising, he doesn’t have the need to prove anything to anyone. I on the other hand have everything to prove to myself. Before going to the library, I stop home to change. I take the fastest shower I’ve ever taken and then change into a blue suit that is a few shades lighter than navy. When I get to the library, I am disappointed to see Sejanus with Lysistrata and Hilarius. The three are laughing and since they don’t see me, I pretend I don’t see them. I find a study table with only one seat and find myself with my nose buried in a book about District 2. It is so peculiar how the District closest to the Capital put up the strongest resistance towards us. I try to think about the place I saw compared to what is described in the books. I give up when I realize that I was looking at Sejanus half the time I was in the district. The book says that the District, while big, can only hold civilizations in a small part of the land since the terrain isn’t the most habitual.

 

Eventually I am nose deep in a book about poisons instead, Lexan on my mind. Most poisons available to use are ejected from snakes teeth. I run my tongue over my own teeth and imagine how much easier life would be if one bite from me could take someone’s life. My thoughts are cut off by an eager, “Coriolanus!” Lysistrata yells. I jump, grabbing my chest in shock.

 

“Hi there.” I say.

 

Sejanus sits on the arm of my chair, placing his hand on my thigh and my brain screams. What is he trying to do? “Hilarius is thinking about throwing another party. tonight.” Sejanus explains.

 

“For you two’s homecoming.” Lysistrata adds, her eyebrows rising.

 

“What a poor excuse to get drunk.” I say.

 

The three of them laugh but I am not joking. I really have no reason to say yes to going. Plus, the way Sejanus is touching me so publicly has me short circuiting. I adjust myself trying to give Sejanus the hint. I cross my leg over my knee. Sejanus only moves his hand along with my movements. I feel like he is testing me. Testing to see if what I told him is true. I do really want to marry him, it’ll get him to stay in the Capital and maybe even accept his life here. After all that was the point of all of this to begin with.

 

“No one’s saying you have to drink, go and be my chaperone.” Sejanus tells me.

 

“Whatever you want.” I tell him. I see Lysistrata widen her eyes ever so slightly at Sejanus when I say this. It was a test.

 

“Will Lexan be there?” I ask.

 

“He seems to find his way everywhere to be honest Snow.” Hilarius tells me. “I can ask him not to show, but he’s so up Felix and Festus’s ass and I actually like those two.” He explains.

 

“Agreed, I’ll be fine if he is there.” I tell Hilarius.

 

Hilarius and Lysistrata tell Sejanus they’ll be at the study table and walk away. Sejanus, still sat on the arm of my chair, looks over to smiling down.

 

“What?” I ask.

 

“Whatever you want.” He mimics.

 

I feel my cheeks go warm and I roll my eyes, “Not sure what you wanted me to say Sejanus.”

 

“No, don’t worry that was perfect. I should finish reviewing with them so,” he leans down, grabs my jaw, and pecks me on the lips. I hate how immediately on guard I am. Behind closed doors I’d be melting into his lips, begging for more. I could barely kiss him back before he’s walking away. I look around to see who saw and regret even looking at all when I notice how many eyes I spot. What the fuck. I am frozen in my seat for at least another ten minutes before I finally move my body over to where Sejanus is sitting.

 

“Come on.” I tell him.

 

“We aren’t done reviewing the chapter.” Sejanus says.

 

“Didn’t ask, hun.” I say. My voice is tight and maybe the others think no difference in my tone is present, but Sejanus knows. He excuses himself before packing his things up and walking out with me. The stares are abysmal. The library exit seems so far away I can feel my pace quicken and Sejanus must catch up to me. Once we are out, I walk to a private study room, telling Sejanus to close the door behind us.

 

“What the fuck was that Sejanus?” I ask. He looks perplexed, his brown eyes dart around the room, “Look at me.” I tell him.

 

“I don’t what you’re asking.” His voice is so small, and a ping of pain strums my heart.

 

“Your hand on my thigh? The kiss? Lys and Hilarius talking about a homecoming? Tell me you didn’t tell them.” I say.

 

“…. I did.” He says, he picks at his thumb with his pointer finger as he goes on. “I’m sorry, I thought what you said to me was true. Do you want to get secretly married in some war bunker?”

 

“It was, it is. I just, I have so much happening right now.” I try to explain but I can see Sejanus has lost hope in this conversation, in me.

 

“I’ll tell them there’s no need to throw a party tonight.” His voice is so small as he speaks.

 

“The party isn’t actually for us, is it?” I want to change my tone, but I can’t. Sejanus has pissed me off to no end. I am also slowly realizing what “homecoming” Lysistrata was going on about.

 

“Yeah, it was.” Sejanus’s voice cracks.

 

I don’t move to comfort him, and I am too late to grab him as he leaves the room. I have to chase after him, but he is moving quite fast. “Sejanus!’ I shout down the hall. Once again, we gain stares. He stops walking at least and I catch up to him. I grab his hand and slightly pull him to make him walk with me. If Sejanus is only happy if I accept the publicity of our relationship, then fine. I can feel the overwhelming need to snap at the students who gawk and whisper as me and Sejanus make our way out of the University. His car waits outside and his Avox is quick to step out of the vehicle, opening the door for us. I let Sejanus get in first and then I follow. The Avox awaits instruction, and I tell him to go to Sejanus’s house. The ride there is silent. When we get to the Plinth residence, I take Sejanus’s hand, and I practically drag him to the front door. I knock on the door and his mother is the one who opens the door.

 

“Hi Mrs. Plinth, is it fine if I come in.” I ask. She nods slowly, her eyes noticing the grip I have on Sejanus’ hand.

 

We come in and Sejanus asks his mom to get us tea. I sit, for the first time, on the cream couches I once looked at during my first visit here. Sejanus finally can pull his hand from mine and he shoots me a sassy look. His mother comes back and sets the tea and biscuits down on the coffee table.

 

“So,” she says. “How was the trip to the districts?”

 

“Longer than I intended but definitely resourceful.” I explain.

 

“Yes well, I was glad to hear you all were back safe. What did you think of two?” She asks.

 

“The mountains were gorgeous.” I say.

 

“Sejanus told me you went with him to Marcus’s parents’ home, thank you for being there for him.” She says. “I know you two weren’t talking for some time.” Mothers are this way, picking up each nuance they can, mentioning things no one wants to talk about.


“Ma please,” Sejanus groans.

 

“Do you intend to marry my son?” She dares.

 

“Mom!” Sejanus yells now, pleading with the woman to not be so blunt. He must have mentioned our conversation to her when we got back home. I take it as a challenge for some reason. Some District 2 lady whose son calls her Ma pretending to be superior to me? How funny.

 

“I do. I also intend to be head Gamemaker this year and in time, the president. Which you and I both know is feasible. I only worry where your husband will stand on me and Sejanus’s decision.” I tell her.

 

“You are quite daring, Snow.” She says. I know it is an insult, and I know Sejanus doesn’t get his intuition for evil people from his father. His mother is the one who keeps her eye out for the maliciousness, not the father. Of course, she is a doormat in a sense, and I have rare respect for people who lead their intentions with kindness. So, I appreciate the insult.

 

“Yes, I am. I plan to marry Sejanus after The Hunger Games because that is when I will have the time.” I say, not bothering to muffle how annoyed I am.

 

“The time?” His mother asks.

 

“Ma he’s going to be working on the games he- “

 

“Hush!” She snaps at him. “You aren’t going to treat my boy like he is some bride for sale.” She sets her tea down to point to me,” You will sit down with my family, his grandparents and father, where you will tell them you are marrying Sejanus. Sejanus may accept your cold manners, I will not.” She doesn’t lose eye contact with me once as she speaks.

 

“Sure, whatever works.” I say. Sejanus swats me.

 

“Ma, he’s just Capital. Marriage is a contract here there is no tradition to it.” He tries to explain.

 

“I do not care! You are Sejanus Aelius Plinth, born in District 2. Your cries echoed through mountains when I birthed you. Snow fell the day you were born. You,” She looks to him with a look only a mother could give, “Are not Capital.” She grabs her tea and orders an Avox to clean up our food.

 

“My room. Now.” He snaps at me.

 

I follow him because even though he has pissed me off, I have pissed his mother off. One trumps the other. He slams his door behind me, and I can barely get a word in before he is yelling at me. “-your stupid ego! All you ever think of is how to prove yourself! Great people do not need to prove they are great all the time Coriolanus!” He pulls my arm as he bitches at me, shoving me onto the bed.

 

“Sejanus, I was just trying to- “I begin.

 

“No! I don’t want to hear it. Get undressed.” He orders.

 

Every bone in my body is saying, no. Except for the boner I’ve sprouted since Sejanus is so hot when he’s angry. I begin to undress, and he goes through his drawer, pulling out a bunch of ties. He eyes a long, black silk one and shoves the others in before turning to watch me undress. I hurry up because the look in his eyes demands me to.

 

“My underwear too?” I ask, it’s a dumb question but that’s how Sejanus gets me when he acts this way. I lose all my composure so easily for the man.

 

“Duh.” He says flatly. I take them off and then I am just standing here. Sejanus saunters over and begins kissing my shoulders. His lips soon travel to my chest, licking and sucking occasionally. My body goes lax as he litters each and every part of my body with his kisses.

 

“Beautiful, your skins so soft.” He breaths onto my skin. I don’t say anything, and he repeats himself. I still do not know what to say. “Say thank you.” He says as if reading my mind.

 

“Huh?” I say.

 

He grips my thigh he was kissing moments ago so harsh a whimper falls from my lips involuntarily. “Thank you.” I say, biting my lip.

 

“Good. So good for me Snow.” He goes back to his kissing and then taps my ass. I’m trying to piece together what exactly Sejanus is doing when I’m being pulled to his bed. I land on my back, and I swear I feel myself get harder.

 

“Sejanus what are you doing?” I ask. He straddles me, leans down to me and kisses me. Any thoughts I once had about what is going on leave me. His ass grinds on my boner as he sucks and bites on my lips. I reach my hands down to grab at his ass and he slaps my hand.

 

“Can you keep your hands to yourself?” He asks.

 

“Well, you’re grinding on me, do you expect me not to touch you?” I ask back.

 

He gets off me and tells me to flip so that I am on my stomach, I do so. He pulls my arms behind me, holding my wrists in one of his hands, “You comfortable?” He asks.

 

“As much as I can be I guess.” I tell him. He grabs the tie he got from his drawer, and I don’t see him doing it, but I feel the silk wrap around my wrists a few times. The silk tightens and I wiggle my hands, they barely move.

 

I hear him opening his drawer again and I begin to panic a bit, “Sejanus, what are you doing?” He doesn’t respond to me. The next thing I see is another black tie passing my eyes and wrapping around my mouth. He ties this fabric tighter than the last one. I try to talk but my mouth is stuck in this half open position that makes my noises inaudible.

 

“You talk too much Corio.” Sejanus says. I turn my head to look at him, his eyes are lustful. I can tell his pupils have gone wide because his eyes look so dark. He is so hot right now, so hungry for me. He undresses himself slowly and I appreciate the show. “Get on your back for me.” He tells me.

 

I roll over to the best of my ability, but Sejanus has to help me. Once I am turned, he grabs my dick, and I whine. I am already so hard that just one touch sends precum dribbling from my tip. He laps the cum up and begins sucking me off. I throw my head into the pillows as pleasure fills me. I want to tell Sejanus to stop because I’ll cum, but I can’t. Next thing I know he is sliding a finger into me, “You’re always so tight for me.” He adds finger after finger until I am fucking myself onto him. I feel tears brink my eyes from the sensation of his three fingers as well as the tension in my untouched dick. My orgasm is so sudden, I feel the hot liquid leak onto my stomach, and I let out a slobbery sigh. Sejanus squeezes my dick, and I groan, arching my back at the stimulation.

 

“Get hard for me again, I haven’t even cum yet.” He commands.

 

My head thrashes from side to side as begins to rub his thumb over my tip. “You wanna know why I’m doing this to you?” Sejanus growls. My mind isn’t with me. He could say whatever, do whatever, and I would allow it. I nod anyways because I know he wants to tell me why.

 

“You need to learn when to keep your mouth shut, when to let others take the lead.” He jerks my dick harder, and I begin to sob with pleasure.

 

“Tell me, do you feel good yanking me around in public then being so helpless underneath me?” He straddles me, “You’ll apologize to my Ma yeah?” I don’t respond to him, and he leans down so that our lips are almost touching. “Nod yes my love.” He tells me. I nod hastily.

 

“Gonna take you now, make you feel good, okay?” He asks but expects no answer. He lifts his hips and slides my dick inside of him. I feel my body flicker like a flint with fire. My spit drools down the sides of my mouth. I am in space, it feels like I am in space as Sejanus takes my dick inside him. I see the discomfort on his face, but he continues until he has taken me to the base. My hips buck on their own and Sejanus smirks at me. He lies so that our stomachs touch and bounces his ass on my dick. The slick noises and his panting are enough to overstimulate me. I moan like a bitch in heat as he abuses his ass on my dick. I want nothing more than to slam into him harder, make him take me in his deepest spots.

 

His hole is so tight and warm as he bounces on me. Our skin slapping against each other’s and his wild moans as he takes me sends me into a sedated headspace. My wrists ache but somehow feel good. My jaw quivers from being open for so long. I know Sejanus is close because his fast pace slows as he slams his hole down on me in slow long thrust. I hear the noises I am making in my own ears as he grinds and tightens around my dick. Sejanus sits up and begins to jerk his dick as he fucks himself on to me. When he comes the liquid flies onto his sheets, some ropes landing on my face. He doesn’t stop moving his hips until I am unraveling inside of him. I cum with a pained cry.

 

Sejanus is quick to untie me after he gets off me. He kisses the sides of my mouth and my wrists. My face is wet with slob and tears. My body is soaked in sweat and cum. “Did you learn your lesson Snow?” He asks.

 

I can finally move my jaw to speak, “Yes,” I pant out.

 

“Good boy.” Sejanus tells me.

 

 

Chapter 12: Two Timer

Summary:

I swish my wine around in my cup, “Sejanus is a bit more dominating than he looks.” I confess. It’s raunchy to be talking like this, especially to a Heavensbee but I like Hilarius. He isn’t one to think too deeply into things.

“He must have a great view.” Hilarius smirks at Sejanus.

Notes:

I have been calling Hilarius the wrong name this whole time!! Sue me!

I have never been more drunk in my life than right now. Hilarius is in the pool chugging a bottle of some alcoholic beverage. Sejanus just jumped off the balcony and into the pool after Arachne drunkenly convinced him. It was not a good idea to get to the party early and pregame with Hilarius. The man drinks like his future depends on it and we followed suit. I am watching Sejanus, and our classmates play Marco Polo in the water which I was too drunk for. The game isn’t being played right, and Sejanus keeps thinking he is Marco. I am sipping on one of the drinks Livia mixed up when I hear Felix.  I turn to the pool gates and see Felix, Festus, Lexan, and Pliny Harrington. Pliny rarely comes around as his parents are much stricter than anyone else’s. Most of his family is in the naval forces causing him to only let loose under certain circumstances. He was quite the slob in school, but I guess his tides changed. I try to ignore the boys, but Festus comes drunkenly running at me.

 

“Coriolanus!” He screams, dragging out the end of my name.

 

“Hi Festus.” I say. He hugs me and I can smell the vodka reeking from him.

 

“Heard about you and Sejanus, who would’ve known?” He says stupidly.

 

“Anyone with eyes Festus,” Felix smirks. “So, your family is really fine with you marrying a Plinth?” Felix asks.

 

“Of course they are Felix.” Truth is, I have no idea. Grandmam lives on her own now with a caregiver. I don’t know if Tigris has told her, and I haven’t spoken to Tigris about it. I know she knows. She is in every crack of drama there is to be in.

 

“My father heard and said you didn’t seem the type to handle someone like Sejanus.” Felix laughs, “I don’t think he’s wrong. You’re going to be head game maker he told me.” He spills.

 

I knew it. I knew I’d be the choice, “Thanks for the good news, Felix, I’ll tell your dad you told me.” I shake my head and roll my eyes.

 

His eyes go wide, “Please do not, I am drunk I thought you already knew.”

 

I laugh and while it is genuine I want nothing more than for these boys to go away. Lexan is glaring at me like I should acknowledge his meaningless existence. Pliny looks uncomfortable enough for me to feel it. Festus and Felix slowly begin to annoy the shit out of me. I tell them the drinks are inside and that’s enough to at least get three of them to go away. Lexan sits down beside me in his black swim trunks that I would say are too short.

 

“So,” he looks at me, “I guess Sejanus chose you.” He says.

 

I snap my head down to look at him, I am too drunk to come up with anything clever to say. Matter of fact, I don’t want to say anything to him at all. So, I don’t. I look back at the pool and Hilarius is trying to do a handstand under water. I shake my head at the scenery before me. Lysistrata is drunk and is telling him not to do that, but Sejanus is hyping the boys head up.

 

“Hilarius if I hold your feet, you could do it.” Sejanus slurs.

 

“No! He cannot you’ll drown him you idiots!” Lys yells out. Arachne is in the corner of the pool talking to Livia about god knows what. She spots me and looks at Lexan. Arachne is then pulling Livia out of the pool and coming to my rescue.

 

“Hello leech.” She says to Lexan.

 

“Hello to you too Crane. Livia.” He says nodding his head to the girls.

 

“Hi.” Livia smiles. She’s too sweet for her own good, but I think that about everyone.

 

“Get Sejanus out the pool,” I tell Arachne. It’s getting dark and it’s cold.” She nods and goes off to get him.

 

“Livia, do you know why Snow hates me so much?” Lexan teases.

 

“Uhm, no. Coriolanus isn’t particularly the one to like other people. I’m sure he tolerates the lot of us.” She laughs uncomfortably. I hate when my classmates say that. It’s obvious I don’t like them all, but I do like Lys, I like Arachne, and I have a nice relationship with Hilarius. Just because I don’t like all of them, I’m made out to be some dick. Lexan looks to me.

 

“You agree?” He smirks.

 

“I’m too drunk to give a fuck. Maybe you should get a drink, so you stop worrying about why people don’t like you.” I stand up, grab my drink, and walk away from the three of them. Arachne is still arguing with Sejanus as she tries to convince him to get out of the pool. He tells Arachne he isn’t going to get out of the pool. She pulls at him, but he yanks her into the pool with him.

 

“Sejanus!” She swats at him, “I didn’t want to get my hair wet!” She yells.

 

“It’s finnnnee.” He slurs. I sit on the side of the pool they are on, getting my feet in the water.

 

“Sejanus, get out.” I tell him. “You too Hilarius, we are going inside.”

 

“Why? Is it too dark? I can have the Avox turn the pools lights on.” Hilarius tells me.

 

“No, you guys are too drunk to be swimming.” I try to explain.

 

“And you aren’t?” Hilarius jokes.

 

“Obviously not as drunk as you guys! Plus, I’m not-” I feel my arms get tugged on as I try to speak. Sejanus is pulling me into the pool and before I know it, I’m soaked. The two boys laugh so hard, and Lys joins in. An Avox walks over with more drinks and Sejanus grabs two for us. I take the shot. Sejanus sets his glass down and curls his hand around my waist. I am too drunk to feel the heat flood to my face because it’s already there. I try to observe everyone’s reactions, but I am not able to read people when I am this inebriated. I can feel Sejanus’s boner on my ass which doesn’t help my already waning focus.

 

“Are you guys actually going to get married?” Lysistrata asks.

 

With the day I’ve had the last thing I want to talk about is this. Of course, I have to say something. Maybe I can get away with not saying a lot. “Yes.” I say.

 

“Well, who proposed? Are you one of you going to wear a dress?” Hilarius asks. Sejanus swats at him with the hand that isn’t wrapped around me.

 

“Corio proposed to me and no.” Sejanus laughs.

 

“Oh my gosh how did he propose? Did he get on his knee?” Arachne smirks. I want to dissolve, because at least then I won’t have to hear this sickening conversation.

 

“Coriolanus most definitely did not get on his knee, the man wouldn’t kneel to the president if he was asked.” Felix chimes in as he swims towards us.

 

“I would too. He’s the leader of Panem.” I state matter of factly.

 

“So, what are the games going to be like this year Head Gamemaker.” Festus teases.

 

“If I tell you then I lose the element of surprise.” I flatly say.

 

“Lexan, weren’t you working on the games too?” Festus shifts his attention.

 

“Yes, but Gaul prefers Corio.” Lexan looks at me, almost daringly. Sejanus tightens his grip on me.

 

“Wanna get your ass beat again?” Sejanus asks Lexan.

 

“Woah woah,” Arachne puts her hands up, “None of that tonight.”


“Oh, is the nickname only for your fuck toy? Also ‘wanna’ is not a word.” Lexan spits out. Hilarius rolls his eyes. I find comfort knowing I am not the only one who hates Lexan’s entire being.

 

“He isn’t my fuck toy, but you most definitely were before our little trip to the districts, weren’t you Lexan?” Sejanus leans down further to get in the boy’s face. Lexan has gone red, his cheeks flushed. I am drunk but not drunk enough to skip over the fact that Sejanus just admitted he did indeed fuck Lexan. The two have some weird staring contest before Lexan spits towards me and Sejanus’s direction. Gasps are drawn from everyone’s mouths including my own. I would do something, but my body is so heavy right now I have no will.

 

Sejanus scoffs, “Was that payback for cumming in your mouth?” He asks.

 

“Ooooohh,” Hilarius jeers.

 

With that Lexan is leaving the pool, telling Festus and Felix to fuck off as they laugh. I never took Sejanus as the type to be so…brutal. It would almost be hot if he weren’t mine. If he weren’t bragging about fucking the boy I hate so much. I bite my lip again at the thought of Sejanus being intimate with Lexan. I hate it. Sejanus and Hilarius laugh a bit more about Lexan’s tantrum.

 

“Anyway, the games. You must be proud to be so apart of them.” Lys says.

 

“Yeah.” I say. My mind is stuck on Sejanus fucking Lexan. I don’t give a damn about the games right now. “I’m going to go inside. I drank too much.” I don’t wait for anyone to say anything back. I move Sejanus’s arm off me and get out. Every time I drink, I regret drinking. This time was almost different. I hear Sejanus calling my name as he runs behind me.

 

“What, Janus?” I ask, turning to him.

 

“What’s wrong?” He slurs.

 

“You’re a drunk fucking mess. Let it go for now.” I tell him.

 

“Fuck okay, then let’s go home. I want you.” He pulls me into him and takes my lips. The taste of alcohol and berries fills my senses.

 

“Is this how you kissed Lexan?” The question slips from my lips before I can think about it.

 

“Is that why you’re mad?” He asks me, lifting my chin with his finger. I shake my head even though he is right. “I only want you, I’m yours Corio, you tell me all the time.”

 

I pull away from his touch, “I used to tell you that. We were broken up for months. You never came over then either. Now we’re getting married, it just seems…” I barely know what I am talking about. I hated his presence for all those months because I couldn’t have him how I wanted. Why would he come over? Plus, we were never together so we didn’t break up.


“Corio what are you talking about?” Sejanus is too drunk, and I can tell because his hands are back around my waist, grabbing my ass.

 

“Nothing,” I say.

 

“Good, Hilarius said we could sleep in the guest room tonight. Do you want to do that instead?” He whispers to me.

 

I close my eyes and nod. I want to do whatever he wants. That way he’ll never look at Lexan again. Hilarius’s home never gets boring to look at. Me and Sejanus laugh as we saunter through the halls. So many family portraits and symbols line the halls.

 

“Who is this guy?” I slur.

 

“No idea, shouldn’t you know? I’m not from here.” Sejanus laughs.

 

We continue our walk until we find a bedroom we like, not caring which is the guest room. Sejanus immediately shoves me on the bed. “Hey, don’t be so sure I’m having sex with you.” I tell him.

 

“Oh?” He unties his swim trunks, letting the fabric fall to the ground. “You don’t want me Snow?” He bites his lip as he asks.

 

“I didn’t say that. I want to shower, I’m too drunk.”  I explain.

 

Sejanus puts his trunks back on and I follow him as we walk around the house looking for a shower. We get lost too many times and we are playing around so much that I think we forgot about the shower. Sejanus gets distracted when he hears a voice in the kitchen.  We find Hilarius talking to an Avox. Of course, the thing isn’t saying anything back, just nodding. The kitchen has deep brown marble floors covered complimented with black countertops. Sejanus pulls out a stool for me and he sits atop the counter of one of the two islands in the kitchen.

 

“And I told my dad, after the 10th Hunger Games I just- “He turns to us, “Oh hey guys,” He slurs.

 

“Hilarius leave the Avox alone.” Sejanus giggles.

 

“They enjoy my tales.” He tells us.

 

“Sure, you can leave.” I tell the Avox, it hurries away. So much for enjoying his tales.

 

“Where’s Lys?” Sejanus asks.

 

“She’s in the pool still, with the rest of them.” He says.

 

“Are you two, ya know?” Sejanus quirks his brows.

 

“No, I don’t swing that way.” Hilarius says shyly.

 

“Really?” I ask, because truly, him and Lys seem like a couple.

 

“Yeah, I just can’t date a man because my family would flip.” He explains.

 

Once again, I am reminded that dating Sejanus means I won’t carry on my bloodline. I don’t exactly like children, but they do add favor politically. “Why so?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Marriage in the Capital is about power, not love. I’ll end marrying Livia Cardew and giving her kids, I’m sure.” Hilarius downs whatever drink is in his hand after he explains.

 

“Well, me and Corio are marrying.” Sejanus says with a shrug.

 

“Right, but Corio’s family isn’t alive.” He tells Sejanus. “I’m sure if your dad were here, you would not be marrying Sejanus.” He looks to me. Sejanus pouts at the comment, “No offense.” Hilarius adds.

 

“He is sort of right. I set the tone for my family, I don’t have rules to abide by.” I explain Hilarius’s point further to Sejanus. It is cute how Sejanus doesn’t grasp Capital customs even after all this time. The districts are no man’s land, who knows why they even bother getting married.

 

“So,” Hilarius pours three glasses of wine and walks over to the counter we are sat at, “Who does who?” He asks.

 

Sejanus and I cackle at the blunt question, “We switch, sort of.” Sejanus says through his laughter.

 

“What is so funny? I bet Lys that Snow takes it, guess I’m right.” He winks at me.

 

I swish my wine around in my cup, “Sejanus is a bit more dominating than he looks.” I confess. It’s raunchy to be talking like this, especially to a Heavensbee but I like Hilarius. He isn’t one to think too deeply into things.

 

“He must have a great view.” Hilarius smirks at Sejanus. The two of them giggle and that’s when I realize Hilarius is flirting with us. Sejanus whispers in the other boys ear and I get annoyed when they start giggling again. I sip on my wine even though I can feel my body begging me not to drink anymore.

 

“What’s so funny?” I ask innocently.

 

“Nothing sweetheart.” Sejanus says. I blush immediately, the nickname going straight to my drunken mind. “See, told you he likes it.” Sejanus says.

 

“Likes what?” I scoff.

 

“Being called sweet nicknames.” Hilarius tells. I bite at my lip as I feel myself getting anxious but I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s due to how dangerously close Hilarius is to Sejanus, practically standing in between my boys legs.

 

“Don’t tease him, he’s sensitive.” Sejanus leans back, patting my face. I lean into the touch and Sejanus says something that I don’t quite hear but it has Hilarius smirking wildly.

 

“What?” I ask, feeling left out once again.

 

The two boys look at each other for a while. I know that look Sejanus is giving, his pupils are blown, he wants Hilarius. I guess I can’t blame him. The man is gorgeous, his long brown lashes and feminine face are desirable. I never thought of him that way though. Sejanus hops down from the counter, he grabs my hand then Hilarius’s.

 

“Corio, give him a kiss, he wants it.” Sejanus tells me. With those eyes, in that tone, he could tell me to set fire to Panem and I would. His words aren’t processing enough for me to move. He tugs on me until I’m standing. Hilarius is about my height, maybe an inch taller. He grabs my face and locks our lips. It is so different from the way Sejanus kisses me but not bad like Livia Cardew. I feel Sejanus’s hand on the end of my back and that’s when I get what he wants. He wants me with Hilarius. Hilarius nips my lip before pulling away.

 

“He is as sweet as you say.” Hilarius smirks to Sejanus. What is going on? Did I just kiss Hilarius Heavensbee?

 

“I taste just like him, c ’mere.” Sejanus tells the boy. Then, the two are lip locking as well. Sejanus’s hand doesn’t leave me, and I appreciate it because I can feel the jealousy creeping up on me. He pulls back from the kiss and then turns his head, kissing me deeply. His tongue scours my mouth, and I can’t help but moan into the kiss.

 

“Let me take you two to my room.” Hilarius tells us. The walk is a while because their home is so big. On our way Hilarius can’t keep his hands off me. His grip on my waist is tight and Sejanus has insisted on licking at my neck as we walk. An Avox waits at his door, opening it for us then shutting it behind us. His room is classic. The carpet is plush and grey while the walls are a pearly white. I let Hilarius lead me to the bed which is stacked with pearly pillows sitting atop red and brown blankets. My back hits the velvety comforter and it’s not long before Hilarius is on top of me. Sejanus sits where my head lies, pulling my head into his lap.

 

“Undress him for me, he doesn’t like doing the work.” Sejanus tells Hilarius. I hear my heart beating heavily in my ears. Hilarius Heavensbee is pulling off my swim trunks, he is touching my body, kissing my thighs, and now he is taking my dick into his mouth. I try to keep myself at bay, not moan and whine like I do for Sejanus. Sejanus, my now devilish boy who is dragging me into a threesome. I try not to think too much as Hilarius sucks on me. My body is betraying Sejanus, the boy I’m supposed to be so enamored with. I begin to buck my hips into Hilarius’s mouth. Biting my lip with no anxiety on my mind. Lust is slowly eating at my every action. Hilarius is pretty, like those higher up men who have too much money to spend. I guess he is one. His lips are thick and the shade of red he naturally has looks surreal around my dick. He isn’t choking either which I admire since I am quite large. Although, I do like the sound when Sejanus gags and slobs around my cock as he tries to catch his breath. Sejanus strokes my hair and toys his thumb around at the entrance of my mouth. Hilarius is neat when he sucks me off. He slurps any slob he spills and takes me in his throat so easily. I feel my knees quiver when Hilarius twists his head and sucks on my tip. I’m already getting so close.

 

Sejanus taps the Hilarius, “Give him a break, don’t want him to cumming too soon.” Sejanus leans down and kisses me softly. I moan into the kiss again, wanting more. Hilarius crawls up my chest licks both of our lips as we kiss. It’s hot. The two boys must handle their liquor much better than I. Sejanus pulls back from me and begins kissing Hilarius who happily takes in the attention. I feel weird being the only naked one, so I sit up on my elbows and dip my fingers into Sejanus’s pant hem.

 

He pulls away from his kiss with Hilarius and takes his pants off for me. He is already so hard, precum dribbling from his dick. Now it is Hilarius who is still dressed. “Hilarius, take your clothes off.” I tell him, hoping I sound coherent.

 

“Anything for you Snow.” He says. He takes his sweater off and then his shorts. I feel my breath hitch as his dick springs from his pants, bouncing against his stomach. He crawls onto the bed, his eyes trained on Sejanus. Hilarius is on his knees and gestures for me to come to him. Sejanus kisses the boy, so I take it upon myself to mix into the kiss. Hilarius giggles as he switches between me and Sejanus.

 

“Do you receive or give, Heavensbee?” Sejanus pants.

 

Hilarius looks down at my cock, “I wanna receive.” He says hungrily.

 

I lie down on the pillows and Sejanus bends Hilarius so that his head is down and ass up. I have the perfect view of the boys hole as Sejanus spreads his ass and begins finger it. “You finger fuck yourself often?” Sejanus asks Hilarius.

 

“Ahh y-yes! Ugh ahh.” Hilarius wines out. I jerk myself off as I watch the scenery before me. I know exactly why Hilarius is moaning and biting into the sheets. Sejanus’s fingers are thick, the fullness they give you is almost surreal. Sejanus now has three fingers inside the pretty boy. “Sejanus, fuck I’m, oh my gosh.” He moans. Sejanus yanks his fingers out of Hilarius and grabs the boys hair. He drags Hilarius so that the boy’s face is inches from my dick. I stop jerking off.

 

“Coriolanus, show Hilarius how good you can fuck a skull, fix him.” Sejanus locks eyes with me and shoves Hilarius’s mouth into my cock. Sejanus holds his head still as I begin to buck wildly into his wet hole. Hilarius gags and coughs, tears streaming down his face as Sejanus keeps him in place.

 

“Fuck his mouth is so tight.” I moan out, “Kiss me Sejanus, please.” I tell him.

 

Sejanus doesn’t let go of Hilarius’s head as he leans forward and makes out with me. Our tongues dance with each other’s and Sejanus sucks onto mine, swallowing my saliva. “Fuck I’m going to cum.” I pant. Sejanus pulls Hilarius off my dick and I groan as my climax is cut off.

 

“Get on top of my love, ride him good, okay?” Sejanus whispers in a disoriented Hilarius’s ear. The boy lazily nods, and he is shoved my Sejanus on top of me. I sit up and lightly grab the boys neck.

 

“Going to be good for me?” I ask Hilarius. He nods eagerly. I lift his hips and slide my dick in. His face twists and he shuts his eyes as he tries to adjust to my length.

 

“So big.” Hilarius whines.

 

“You can take it,” Sejanus kisses the boys neck and grabs his hips, shoving him down deeper on my dick.

 

“Oh, oh fuck.” I groan out. I lay back against the pillows, snatch Hilarius’s hips and begin to fuck into him. He’s hollering, his back is against Sejanus’s chest who kneels behind him keeping him sat up. Hilarius’s head is sprawled back onto Sejanus’s shoulder as Sejanus attacks his neck. Precum flies from the boys penis as I fuck him.

 

“You’re being so good for my Corio.” Sejanus says. He grabs Hilarius’s hair, pushing his head up so that Hilarius is looking at me. “Tell him you love how deep he is inside you. Thank him.” Sejanus commands.

 

“I- Oh fuck. I love how deep you are inside me!” Hilarius moans out. I buck my hips harder and when I see him go cross eyed, I know I’m fucking the right spot. That spot the Sejanus hit in me not long ago. He moans wildly, “Thank you.” His words are slurred between being drunk and getting the life fucked out of him.

 

“Cum, I’m going to.” Hilarius moans. I slow my thrusts and flip us so that Hilarius is on my back. Sejanus gets behind me, kissing my neck then my back. I grind slowly into Hilarius, and the boy is whining, begging for me to make him cum. That’s when I feel Sejanus entering my hole. I groan onto Hilarius lips as I begin to kiss him passionately. Sejanus slaps my ass making me buck into Hilarius.

 

“Fuck you two are so hot.” Sejanus pants. His dick is throbbing inside me, and I know he too is close to cumming. Sejanus picks his pace up, making me fuck into Hilarius harder and faster. The pretty boy cries out and I feel his cum spill onto our chests. When I don’t stop fucking into him, I see tears well up in his eyes from the overstimulation.

 

“Please, oh it’s so much.” Hilarius whines out.

 

“You can take it baby, can’t you?” I pant in his face.

 

“Yes, oh yes anything for you!” He arches his back as I fuck into him at the pace Sejanus is fucking into me.

 

“Fuck Janus, Janus I’m- I’m going to cum. Please of fuck please make me cum!” I shout out to Sejanus, he lifts my chest from Hilarius’s body by grabbing my neck. The choking sensation sends me into bliss and I cum, bucking my hips roughly inside Hilarius. Sejanus doesn’t stop fucking into me until he too is cumming, hot liquid splattering my insides. He bites into my neck hard as he cums. The aftershock of my orgasm has me still bucking into Hilarius as Sejanus spills into me. I let out a choked whine and Sejanus releases my neck.

 

I land on Hilarius who I am still inside of. His breath is shaky, so I pull out of him, kissing his neck and jawline how Sejanus does me when I’ve had so much. Hilarius whines as I suckle at his neck. The boy really is quite gorgeous. Sejanus is the one who pulls out of me first and suggests we get in the shower. Hilarius’s legs shake as he gets off the bed and we all can’t help but laugh.

 

In the shower, we all three help each other wash up. It turns into a steamy make out as we let the hot water run the soap off our bodies. Hilarius is in between us, me at this back and Sejanus in front of him. I pinch at Hilarius’s nipples while biting his neck and Sejanus kisses the boy. I am sobering up and even while caressing the boy’s body I am coming to realize the crazy shit Sejanus dragged me in to. Will it be weird seeing the boy around the university now? Are we all three a thing now? Or was tonight just some release for Hilarius, who will never love a man? I have no idea, and I think now is not the time to consider it.

 

Sejanus is getting worked up because his hand is grasping Hilarius’s ass. “You want to fuck him?” I ask Sejanus.

 

My love nods, “Is that okay with you?” He asks me. I nod to him, because this means I can be inside Sejanus, and I’ve missed that. Sejanus turns Hilarius so that Hilarius is facing me. I immediately kiss the boy because Sejanus is wide, and he’ll need the coaxing to take him. I feel Hilarius’s breath hitch, and I know Sejanus is entering him.

 

“Good, you’re doing so good.” I tell Hilarius. He moans into my mouth. Sejanus takes hold of his hips and begins fucking into him like he needs it. I let go of Hilarius and he lean again the wall of the shower. I get behind Sejanus and take him for myself and then we are all connected again. Fucking into each other like animals. Hilarius’s moans bounce off the shower walls and he begins to beg Sejanus to fuck him harder. Sejanus does and at one point he begins to fuck back onto me as he bucks into Hilarius. The pleasure is overwhelming, but the sight is even better. I throw my head back, submerging it into the water. I’m cumming soon after and Sejanus’s climax has hit as I feel him tighten around me. Hilarius wantons as he grinds against Sejanus, cumming onto the shower floor.

 

Hilarius insists on letting us sleep alone but Sejanus tell him he doesn’t mind the boy in the bed. So, we sleep together, and I truly do not mind it either. Still, Hilarius sleeps on one side of the bed as me and Sejanus curl into each other.

 

I wake to sound of Hilarius talking to someone at his door.

 

“Why are there teenagers passed out in the pool house?” I hear a voice, deep, asking.

 

“I threw a party last night some people didn’t go home, I guess. I’ll get the Avox’s to get them, okay?” Hilarius says.

 

“No! You’ve no class acting like some low named fool!” I hear the door open after the voice says that and pull the covers over me and Sejanus.

 

“Dad, please!” Hilarius pleads.

 

“Coriolanus Snow? I see your hair.” At that, I peak from under the covers.

 

“Mr. Heavensbee.” I smile politely.

 

“Your father is rolling in his grave! Clean up and be downstairs, both of you! The president is coming over for lunch.” Mr. Heavensbee storms out.

 

Hilarius apologizes but I tell him it’s fine. I did think the boy lived alone but it would be weird if no one ever came to check on him. Sejanus springs from the covers.

 

“Was that your dad?” He asks.

 

“Yup. I don’t know why the president is coming here but it must be important if I have to be there too. My Avox is grabbing you all clothes, hopefully they cover the hickeys.” He laughs.

 

Almost on queue, an Avox comes in setting down two suits on his dresser for us. Another Avox brings us drinks that I assume are to subdue the hangover we are bound to have. We drink it and then get dressed. Hilarius hands us a concealer of some sort but Sejanus is too dark to use it to cover anything, so he borrows a turtleneck to place under his suit.

 

When we get downstairs the Avox’s have completely cleaned the place. The Avox’s flap around their mouths have a gold eagle that stands out against the dark blue fabric. They dress the tables in a dark red fabric and soon the smell of food is encasing me. Arachne comes walking through the kitchen doors, she looks an absolute mess. Her lipstick smeared across her cheek and her hair into a ratty bun.

 

“What happened to you?” Hilarius asks.

 

“Don’t even ask. I have an outfit to change into. What’s going on in here?” She asks.

 

“President’s coming.” I tell her.

 

“Oh my!” Arachne yells, she covers her mouth with her hand. She hurries away from us to a bathroom I assume.

 

Then Mr. Heavensbee walks through the kitchen doors, “Bless it that you all decided to look like proper young scholars.”

 

“Dad, we hand just woken up.” Hilarius huffs.

 

“After getting wasted and…” his father looks between us, “sleeping?” He tilts his head.

 

“Don’t dad. Come on, we should get the others from the pool house.” Hilarius walks away and we follow him.

 

When we get to the pool house Avox’s are also cleaning the area. We walk into the room and see Felix sprawled out on the floor alongside Festus who has zero clothes on. Hilarius grabs a glass of water and pours it over the two boys.

 

“What the fuck!” Felix springs up.

 

“Your dads on the way get the fuck up.” I tell him.

 

“Good morning to you guys too.” He wipes the water off his face. Festus rolls over until he is sitting up and putting his shorts on.

 

“Quite the night.” He huffs. “I’m going home I’m not staying for the lunch. I can’t even think about trying to sit up straight for that long.” He groans out.

 

When we get back to the house I see Sejanus’s parents, Arachne’s father, Felix’s mother aka the First Lady, and more government officials than I can count. Part of me is excited to see Gaul but I think events like this aren’t made for her. She’s told before how much she hates formal dinners and such. Hilarius tells us to sit next to him, so we do. I can sense Sejanus growing uncomfortable as his parents approach us.

 

“Sejanus, I didn’t know you weren’t coming home last night.” His dad says sternly.

 

“We got a bit caught up here. Heavensbee was polite enough to let us stay.” Sejanus says, kissing his mother cheek as a hello.

 

“No outbursts today, this is a meeting in celebration of the 11th Hunger Games. Best behavior.” His dad warns before taking his seat next to Mrs. Plinth.

 

I forgot how only days ago Sejanus was singing to Marcus’s grave. A rebel. He is a rebel at heart. I too begin feeling anxious but there’s a little time for that as everyone stands, raising their mimosas to the door. President Ravinstill walks in, two Avox’s trailing him. Sejanus is the last to stand and only does so when I tap his back. I swear the boy wants to die. When the President sits, he coughs, “Thank you all for welcoming me and to the Heavenbees for hosting my lunch.” He says.

 

“Of course, it is always a pleasure to be able to host you.” Mr. Heavenbee says. I sip on the drink and regret it immediately. I have had too much liquor in the past 24 hours, and I need time before I ever drink again. Everyone converses and I disassociate for a while. I hear the president ask Sejanus what he plans to major on after his first year in university. He tells the president he plan to major in computer science, it is a new major with all the developments surrounding technology as of late.

 

“How about you Mr. Snow?” The president asks.

 

I look up from my plate, “High Biology. Dr. Gaul, my mentor, suggested it.” I say.

 

“Yes, you have quite the gift. I am excited to see what you come up with for the games. That Lucy Gray you mentored was quite the delight to watch on screen.” He tells me.

 

“Yes, she was.” I say.

 

“Hilarius says you’re quite focused on your studies, I am always surprised to see you dabbling in some fun with your classmates.” He says.

 

“Sejanus and Hilarius always suggest a little down time.” I explain. I have a feeling this conversation is leading somewhere I do not want it to. I am right because Sejanus’s mother says what I was hoping she wouldn’t.

 

“With the two of them marrying I am sure Coriolanus’s ethics will rub off on Sejanus.” She smiles. I know that this is payback for me being cocky when I told her I was marrying him. I guess I deserve it and there is nothing I can do now that she has laid it out on the table.

 

“Marrying?” Mr. Heavensbee asks.

 

“Yes, me and Coriolanus are engaged, our hope is to marry after he is done with the games.” Sejanus says. I refrain from biting my lip as people down their mimosas, the awkwardness getting to them. I decide I can drink again and sip on my drink.

 

“My son,” The president points to Felix who is holding on by a thread, “Told me of the great news. Your father told me to watch over you when he passed. He meant a great deal to everyone in this room. I am sure he would be proud that you humbled yourself enough to marry a boy who rose from the districts.” He raises his glass and the Avox’s rush to fill everyone’s again.

 

Sejanus turns to the president at the end of his statement. I grip his thigh, pleading for to ignore the insult disguised as a compliment. I see his mouth open, and I am quick to speak, “Yes, it is an honor to be marrying into a family that was so influential during the war.”

 

“That was all my father.” Sejanus tilts his glass towards Mr. Plinth.

 

“Who will be taking whose name?” Mr. Heavensbee asks.

 

“Dad, don’t be so crass.” Hilarius says.

 

“It’s fine,” I say, “Sejanus will take my name.” I explain. To me it was a no brainer but the way Sejanus pinches my thigh makes me think I have something wrong.

 

“That way he will be fully Capital of course.” Mr. Heavensbee laughs. The table laughs with him and then the dessert course is being served which gives Sejanus the perfect reason to excuse himself. He moves through the kitchen doors, and I am tempted to follow him, but his mother rises before I can. I roll my eyes at the woman when she shoots me a look. When dinner is over the president waves me over to him.

 

He pulls me into a half hug and whispers in my ear, “Marrying into the Plinth family is a smart move, but don’t lose sight of your goals.”

 

“I won’t, thank you Mr. Ravinstill.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————

I go home with Sejanus who is thoroughly pissed off, but he won’t tell me why. We get to my room, and I try to press him about the matter.

 

“It is an honor to marry into a family so influential during the war.” Sejanus mimics flatly.

 

“Sejanus, come on.” I plead. “There was nothing else to say.”

 

“How about you say something you actually mean. Like that you’re marrying me because you want me!” He shouts.

 

“It isn’t like that here! You don’t marry because you’re in love so helplessly, it is rare Sejanus!” I try to explain.

 

“You sicken me, when I think about you and the things you do it makes me sick!” He throws his shirt that he has taken off at me.

 

“You’ve always known who I am Sejanus. I don’t plan on being anyone else so try and get used to it.” I storm into my bathroom and turn the faucet on. I feel sick, Sejanus is only mad that I play the part he cannot. Except sometimes I’m not playing the part, being Head Gamemaker is what I need. What I want. I sink into the hot water and shut my eyes. This water is something I didn’t always have. This tub, those clothes, and Sejanus—I used to not have him either. I sigh and try to forget the argument I just had.

 

Chapter 13: Like The First Time

Summary:

“I made you feel good, Sejanus. Tell me.” I say. We don’t lose eye contact as he repeats what I ordered to me.

“You made me feel good.” He tells me.

“Good, so good for me Sejanus.” I smirk. I’ve got him now. No more me under him, in every sense, Snow is on top.

When I wake up Sejanus is curled onto my chest, his breathing is so steady it almost sends me back to sleep. The rising sun shines into my room and Sejanus’s face grabs the light in the softest way. He looks so peaceful when he’s sleep. I begin to wish I could freeze him like this. Though, that wouldn’t be as productive as I want it to be. Today, I need Sejanus to be happy because the days to come involve The Hunger Games. Surely, he will be a brooding mess the whole time. I kiss at his face until he is grumbling awake.

 

“Is it time for classes?” He asks, his voice is so raspy, so hot. It takes everything in me not to pull out my morning wood and tempt the boy. Sejanus sits up, laying his head on the backboard of the bed. I stare at him for a while, his neck extended back and his thick black lashes rest as he leans his head back. The blanket falls to his waist, hickeys from our escapade with Hilarius litter his body.

 

“It’s Sunday Sejanus, no class. We can spend the day alone if you want.” I tell him as I pull myself from the trance his appearance has me in.

 

He groans, “Yeah, that sounds good.”

 

“Why did we have sex with Hilarius, are you into him?” I ask, my eyes locked on the hickeys Hilarius’s mouth made.

 

“I just woke up ya know?” I look at him now and blink—expecting an answer, “It was an in the moment thing. We needn’t do it again.” He explains after realizing I’m not letting up.

 

Good. I have no want to ever share the boy again. “I’m sorry about yesterday, after lunch.” I say.

 

“No, I’m sorry, I know you have to say and do things to get where you’re going. I need to stop being so…selfish, I guess.” He sighs.

 

“Thank you, Sejanus.” I mean it when I say it. I know he would much rather scream from the rooftops that our government and way of life is immoral. We lie in bed and the chef brings us breakfast. I tell Sejanus about Lexan and how I hate having to work with him on the games. Lexan isn’t around all the time anymore, but it’s enough to annoy me. Sejanus tells me how his computer science classes all revolve around finding better ways to surveil the districts—which he hates. We eat at the platter of berries, cheese, and crackers my chef brought us until we can’t eat anymore. The silence between us isn’t heavy. Instead, the silence is soft like the blankets we wrap ourselves in as we gaze into each other’s eyes. Sejanus asks me to show him my rose garden and at first, I hesitate, but then I do.

 

“It’s beautiful.” He mutters. His eyes wander around the dome of flowers. I was able to afford a better foundation and ceiling for the biome while working for Gaul. I haven’t exactly blown all the money I won from the Plinths either. I added a few mini waterfalls that feed the roses without the manual work. The waterfalls also make the ambiance rather peaceful and a great place to think.

 

“I’m still working on making the garden look how it did before but,” I look around, “Roses are rough, they take time and care.” I explain.

 

“You’re much better with plants and animals than people.” He jokes.

 

“Well plants can’t talk.” I tease, poking at his side. “And the animals I deal with aren’t the same after.”

 

He looks at me like I had said something wrong then smiles softly, “I like you when you’re not all…Snow-like.” He tells me, gazing into my eyes.

 

“I’m always a Snow. Also, I like you all the time.” I lean in to kiss him and I feel again that I truly do love Sejanus. He pulls away but I draw him back into the kiss. The smell of roses encase me, and I want this moment to last forever.

 

Sejanus finally slips from my kiss, and it pulls me back into reality, Sejanus doesn’t want my kiss right now. “I mean it. You aren’t always Snow. Sometimes you’re softer, and your eyes don’t have that look in them.” He explains.

 

“What look?” I begin to feel judged and release him from my grasp, making sure to step away from him.

 

“That look when you’re thinking about how to rid of people or get something you want.” He reaches out for me, clasping our hands together. I allow it. “It doesn’t scare me anymore. I know you need me now. You don’t throw away things you need.” He looks me in my eyes as he tells me.

 

“I wouldn’t hurt you even if I didn’t need you, I’m not some monster Sejanus.” I try to explain. Truly, I don’t know. I can’t remember what it’s like to not need Sejanus. Even when we weren’t speaking, I spent half of my brain power thinking of ways to avoid him.

 

“Clemensia’s parents, that boy in the arena, even me.” He sighs, giving up on trying to explain.

 

“Go on, why are you bringing all of that up?” I ask.

 

“I have to accept that you let go of your humanity to get what you want. You should accept that too.” He caresses my cheek, and I hum in agreement. I don’t see my actions as inhumane but if Sejanus, the boy with so much passion for life, is telling me I lack humanity then it may be true.

 

“When I’m president, I am going to build a home of roses just for you. You’ll have a place to go and remember me as your Corio, not Snow.” I promise him. He nods his head softly, pulling me back into our kiss. As much as we yell and fight, I am beginning to think it is all in the name of this. I love Sejanus and he loves me, maybe we are just terrified that our differences will rip us apart.

 

“So, I can call you Corio?” He smirks.

 

“No. I hate that it’s become some thing between your friends too.” I huff. Sejanus giggles and I can’t help but do the same.


“Okay, Coriolanus.” He over pronounces my name with a smile on his face.

 

We sit on a bench by one of the ponds in my garden, our hands clasped together. I lean my head back and shut my eyes. Sejanus gets up and begins wandering the large garden and I sit up to watch him. He bends down and picks one of the flowers out of the root. His fingers twist the flower around.

 

“How come they sparkle?” He asks. I walk over to him and lean down.

 

“They don’t sparkle,” I hold the flower with him, “It’s called iridescence. The light scatters through stacked layers.” I explain.

 

He hums in understanding. We stay sat, the sun basking us as Sejanus picks at the flower. I pick another and rip the thorns off before tucking it behind his ear. “You look pretty with my rose on you.” I tell him.

 

“Yeah? You just look pretty.” He compliments me. I stare into his eyes and feel my stomach flutter. I beg myself to allow this feeling with him. I stop thinking about the utter vulnerability of it all and just exist in the emotion. It takes a lot of out of me, but whenever I am this way with Sejanus, he seems so happy.

 

“Is there something on my face?” Sejanus mutters.

 

“No,” I feel the words claw their way out of my throat, “You look ethereal.” I hate that it comes so easy for Sejanus to be…in love.

 

“I’m not glass Corio, I won’t break if you touch me, ya know.” He says softly. So, I touch him. I press him softly onto the grass. Then I practically crawl onto him until our faces align. When I kiss him Sejanus sighs into my mouth as if he were waiting for me to do so. Sejanus slips his tongue into my mouth softly and I suck on his tongue. He tastes of raspberries, and I never want this moment to stop. He lifts his knee so that it is snug against my crotch. I pull back from our kiss, heaving. I am out of breath, but Sejanus doesn’t care, he pulls the neck of my shirt until our lips are locking again. I moan into his mouth, beginning to feel the heat of the moment. His hands grasp my ass, and I whine at the contact. I inhale, trying to get a breath in between our kisses.

 

“Need you Corio.” Sejanus pants.

 

“Coriolanus.” I correct softly.

 

“My bad Head Gamemaker Coriolanus.” He smirks.

 

I dip my head down, kissing him before biting at his neck. He whines as I suck and nip at his skin. I make sure to suck on the hickeys that are already there from last night. “Let me fuck you this time.” I tell him.

 

“You’re so pretty when you beg for me though.” He bites his lip as he tells me this.

 

“And you’re hot when you act like you don’t want me to ruin you.” I smirk at him when my words send a blush through his face.

 

“You got me addicted to it the first time.” He whispers. Tigris’s words flash through my mind, that day she told me sex is only sex if two people want it.

 

“You wanted it?” I ask.

 

“Not at first, no. I’ve told you this.” He says.

 

“I know I just…I liked it. You begging me, the fear you had.” I let the words slip from my mouth and I regret it immediately. Sejanus looks at me again, with those eyes. Those, I know you’re a terrible person, eyes. I bite my lip, thinking about how dumb it was to admit that when we were having such a peaceful moment.

 

“I know.” He says, “I think you’re broken Corio.” His words mimic my own I muttered so long ago to him. I never truly believed Sejanus was broken, just too soft.

 

“Then, I don’t want to be fixed.” I tell him. I mean it, I don’t have a bone in my body I would change.

 

“I believe you.” Sejanus says. I am still on top of him and still hard. He pulls my neck down and we are kissing again. I slip a hand down to grip his thighs. Sejanus is so full. Not a part of his body lacks stiffness, strength. I moan into our kiss at just the thought of ruining him again. I pull away from our kiss, lifting him up, then dragging him inside.

 

“So rough.” He tells me once I throw him on my bed. I don’t respond, my mind is too fuzzy from the adrenaline I am beginning to feel. Seeing Sejanus beneath me always gives me an overwhelming feeling of power. Unlike before, I am truly better than him. More favored, known, and respected. Sejanus will take my last name, and I will take him. So, fitting. I don’t realize I am biting at the boy’s body too hard until I feel him pushing my face away. I pin his hand down and begin to kiss his mouth instead.

 

“Corio,” Sejanus whines into my mouth.

 

I grip his throat, because the last thing I want to hear is his voice right now or that nickname. I choke him until his only free hand is clawing at my own. He gasps for air when I release him, tears forming in his eyes. Yes, this is how I like you, I think to myself. Sejanus is rutting his dick onto my knee that is lodge between his legs as I take his shirt off.

 

“Be a good bitch, take your pants off since you want to be touched so bad.” I tell him as I scoot back so he can undress. Once he strips himself, he crawls onto me, pushing me onto my back and pulling my shirt off.

 

“Good boy.” I tell him. He whines in response. I feel my control of the situation slipping. My head begins floating to that space of want. Sejanus takes my pants off and then mouths at my dick through my underwear. I pet his hair, running my fingers through the loose curls as he pulls my length out of my underwear. I groan when he takes me into his mouth, taking my lip between my teeth. For once it is not anxiety but pleasure. Sejanus wastes no time swallowing me whole. He grabs my hand and pushes it down on his head. Does he really like when I’m that way with him? When he’s rough with me I don’t care for it. I know Sejanus is soft and some part of me enjoys him pretending to not be. Whereas with me, I am brutal in each sense of life. He must truly enjoy the fear that courses through his body when I use him so recklessly. I take both of my hands and tighten them around his head before forcing myself deeper into his throat.

 

“You like it don’t you?” I ask, knowing Sejanus can’t respond. He tries to speak but it’s coming out garbled, drool spilling from his mouth. I don’t stop bobbing his head up and down until he makes a noise too close to vomiting. He coughs as he comes back up. I’m slightly disgusted, yet the power—my god the feeling of control—is driving me insane. I sit up, pulling on his hair until he is beneath me.

 

“Ow Corio!” Sejanus hollers out. I ignore him and wrap my hand around his throat while my other hand pulls his pants down. He’s saying something to me so tighten my grip and lean to his face.

 

“Shut up Sejanus, please.” My words are tight and sure. He shakily nods and I release him. “Good slut,” I whisper.

 

I kiss him to assure him that this is nothing like the first time. No, back then Sejanus was just my assignment. I hadn’t owned him yet. Now he is mine, he accepts me, he needs me, the boy even cries for me. I own him. I release his throat after our kiss. His chest heaves as he tries to catch his breath. Once his pants are off, I consider if I should finger him or not. Sejanus watches me as I stare at his ass.

 

I lock eyes with him, “Can you take me without prep?” I ask him.

 

Sejanus seems frozen, as if he isn’t sure if he really has a choice. “I asked you a question, hun. Answer me.” I tell him.

 

“…How ever you want me, Coriolanus.” Sejanus answers. I waste no time hitching leg up on my shoulder. His dick bounces as I move his leg, the precum dribbles from his tip onto his stomach. I line up my dick with his hole and slide in. Sejanus tightens up at the dry intrusion and I slap his thigh, nonverbally telling him to loosen up. His breath shakes as I continue to slide into him. Once I’m halfway in I pull out and then spit on my dick.

 

“I’m going to fill you up Sejanus.” I reach my hand across his body and pet his cheek. “Make you wish I could be inside you forever.” My boy nods at my words. I thrust my hips forward and Sejanus cries out, his back arching. I take the movement as a chance to get my hands underneath him. I wrap my arms around his torso and keep him lifted as I begin to fuck him. Sejanus squirms and whines. I shush him and he takes his bottom lip into his mouth in a poor attempt to silence himself. His body is so warm, I’ve noticed when we fall asleep together, but this warmth is always much hotter. The way his whole wraps around me, begging me not to let go is surreal. Sejanus’s mouth is moving but, once again, I’m so in my head I can’t comprehend him. I can’t help but compare his body to Hilarius’s. Sejanus’s is much fuller, his muscles ripple throughout his body. Not one of the boys limbs lacks in any way. I groan and release his hips to grab at his leaking dick.

 

The movement of Sejanus’s mouth becomes audible to me again, “Coriolanus I- “he throws his head onto the pillows, thrashing it side to side. I must be hitting that spot of his. His body goes taut and his dick twitches in my hand before spilling copious amounts of cum onto his stomach. I dip my head down and suck on the tip of his dick, earning me beautiful whines from Sejanus. He tastes so fucking good I find myself licking and sucking until his hands are pushing me off him. I sit up, grab his hips and pull him back onto me.

 

“Coriolanus wait, I feel too good.” He groans out.

 

“I haven’t cum yet.” Is all I say before I start to fuck him again. I see tears form in his eyes the harder I thrust and it’s so sick how it turns me on.

 

“Tell me no.” I say to Sejanus shamelessly. He hesitates before pretending to not want me. He attempts to push me off him until I grip both of his wrists, pinning them above his head.

 

Then he tells me, “Coriolanus it’s too much- “I cut him off by bucking my hips as hard as I can, “Fuck Coriolanus please stop.” He is full blown crying now and his sobs are all it takes to send me over the edge. I release his wrists and snatch his throat into my hand. I thrust deep and hard before I begin to cum. It feels like the most reliving stream I’ve ever had. With the noises of Sejanus’s choking and crying along with his hot tears spilling down his face. The visual is more than I could ever ask for. I release his neck, and he backs up onto the headboard to get my dick out of him. The cum drips from his asshole so sexily. Tears haven’t stopped streaming down his face, and I crawl atop him. I wipe his face off and tell him sweet nothings.

 

“I love you. Love you so much Sejanus.” I tell him. He rests his head on my chest as he sniffles, trying to gather himself. I back away so I can look at him. “You’re so pretty when you cry.” I whisper. His eyes drift to mine and for a moment he is looking at me with contempt. Like, again, what I just said was heinous.

 

“It hurt.” Sejanus sniffles.

 

“You came.” I tell him.

 

“It was overwhelming.” He whines out, in that pitchy tone.

 

“I made you feel good, Sejanus. Tell me.” I say. We don’t lose eye contact as he repeats what I ordered to me.

 

“You made me feel good.” He tells me.

 

“Good, so good for me Sejanus.” I smirk. I’ve got him now. No more me under him, in every sense, Snow is on top.

Notes:

Coriolanus needs jesus and i don't think he exists in this universe!

Also let me know what you guys think, I thought you all deserved some shameless smut since I have been gone so long!

Chapter 14: Be Mine Xoxo

Summary:

“You’re so filthy,” I lick Sejanus’s shoulders and chest, “So tasty too.” I smirk against his skin.

AKA Coriolanus, the bipolar king, crashing out.

Notes:

I feel like my writing is progressively getting worse but I want to churn out chapters faster, tell me if you guys think I am losing the plot. Ty for reading, mwah!

Sejanus is stuck for a while in some trance between crying into my chest and being silent. I eventually get up, no longer feeling the want to console him. There is no way I went too far. Sejanus was practically begging for me to do what I had done.

 

“Are you going to come bathe or do you need a moment?” I ask. A while passes between us in silence and I let out a sigh, “Sejanus, come on. What’s wrong with you?” I ask slightly frustrated now.

 

“I told you, it was overwhelming.” He sniffles out, his words fumbling through his crying.

 

I try not to twist my face in disgust. Just how vulnerable can Sejanus be without recoiling into himself and wanting to die? I could never. “Yeah, I told you I made you feel good. Is there more to say?”

 

He rolls his brown, puffy eyes before wiping them with the back of his hand, “No, nothing else to say Snow.”

 

I am beginning to notice how Sejanus calls me by different names depending on the situation. I haven’t quite grasped the pattern but when I do, I’ll confront him about the matter. It could be that whole scene he gave earlier in the garden. When he told me about how I am different when I need to be. Sejanus finally looks at me, his eyes are searching mine for something. I’ve no idea what he wants to find.

 

I break the eye contact because quite frankly it is making me uncomfortable. “Then come to the bathroom so we can wash off, I want to go to Arachne’s. She has some information I need for the games.” I tell him. He doesn’t move and now I find myself grabbing his arm, pulling him from my bed.

 

“Okay, okay!” Sejanus huffs. He tries to yank away from me but fails. I tighten my grip and instead of pulling him towards the bathroom I yank him on the floor.

 

“What is wrong with you? One second, you’re telling me how bad you want me to ruin you then the next you’re sobbing because I did so!” I yell. Then that feeling of power runs over me. My Sejanus beneath me, crying over me. Mine.

 

“I don’t know, okay!” He yells then throws his face into his hands as he cries. Now, I can’t help but look at him with disgust.

 

“Sejanus pull yourself together, meet me in the tub when you’re done throwing your pity party.” I step over him as I speak. I guess that I would hate someone like me. The way my nose can be so far in the air I forget other people matter. Or the way I apparently dispose of those I don’t need. Whatever it be, I have no shame. I do like when Sejanus acts like he doesn’t want me so deep inside him that he can barely take me. Though, it must not be acting. At any time, Sejanus could have told me to seriously stop, and I think I would have. I sink into the hot water of my tub and groan. There’s nothing like a hot bath after arguing with Sejanus.

 

I catch my reflection in the water and begin to think about myself. I am about six feet tall, I think more. My hair has grown back out from my previous chop, and I like it more. My hair isn’t so curly anymore it is now more like my father’s straight blonde hair. My eyes are a vibrant blue that snatch my whole face together. I conclude that I look amazing, that Sejanus is more than lucky to have me. I begin to think about what Sejanus said before. How I am sometimes Coriolanus and sometimes Snow. I heeded his words before but now that I think of them, I disagree. I am Coriolanus Crassus Snow all the time. Sejanus must enjoy thinking there is a difference between the two. Like clockwork, my boy walks in, naked.

 

I look Sejanus up and down as he slugs toward the tub. That’s when I notice the bruise around his neck. A thick line, a few shades darker than his skin tone. I must have been choking the life out of him for it to be so vibrant. He slides his body into the tub, sitting across from me. I gesture for him to lie between my legs. Sejanus does so swiftly, his back resting on my chest and his head on my shoulder. I caress the long bruise that wraps around his neck with my fingers. He winces and I soften my touch.

 

“Sorry about that.” He mumbles.

 

“I didn’t mean to choke you that hard.” I tell him. I want to add that if he were quiet like I asked I wouldn’t have done so, but something tells me that’s too harsh.

 

“It’s okay.” He mumbles again.

 

“Speak up, can’t hear you.” I say.

 

“Hurts to talk louder Corio.” He huffs.

 

“You don’t learn very fast, do you?” I ask, because for the 100th time I am about to tell him not to call me that.

 

“The name just slips out, I swear. I’m sorry.” He rushes to tell me.

 

“Yeah, well it wouldn’t be on your mind if you listened the first- “

 

“Coriolanus please I got it I don’t need to hear your ego trip.” Sejanus huffs out.

 

Oh? Well, that was rude. I keep quiet though because Sejanus sort of gagged me there. I lean up, making sure not to move him much, and grab soap. I lather my hands with it before sitting my Sejanus up and rubbing the soap onto him. He sighs in relief when I massage his shoulders and back with the rosy scented soap. I grab a sponge and scrub the soap in more before cusping water into my hands to rinse him off. My lips find themselves on his shoulders, kissing each particle of skin until reach his neck. Some low and evil part of me nips at the bruise I created with my hand. Sejanus groans in pain. He doesn’t pull away from me though, so I keep at it. I suck and lick at the bruise that has only gotten darker with time. Eventually, Sejanus is crying again but when I reach a hand between his thighs, he is hard. What a sick bitch, I think to myself. My suspicions were wrong. Sejanus loves this pain, he may love it so much that he hates himself for it.

 

I begin to jerk him off and that’s when I feel his body resist my touch. I pull my hand away and stop sucking on his neck. “Do you want me to stop?” I ask. Sejanus shuts his eyes, more tears stream down his plump cheeks. He bites his lip and makes the prettiest crying noise I’ve ever heard. I am now truly hoping he responds how I want, because if not I will do as I please.

 

“No, please. Don’t stop.” Sejanus whines.

 

I grasp his cock and begin stroking him again. My mouth flies to his throat and he groans out. Sejanus makes another pretty whimper, and I can feel my cock twitch at the sound. I hungrily suck on him, my mouth trailing to his nipples. I bite and lap at the buds until they swell, all while jerking him off. I couldn’t care less for my own orgasm if he keeps showing out for me. All I want is to see him crumble in my hands again. He begins thrusting into my jerks and I allow it because heavens knows he needs to cum—to feel some good from the pain I’m inflicting on him. I release his nipple from my mouth and spit the saliva I’ve built up into his mouth. He coughs as the spit hits his mouth and I shove his mouth shut.

 

“Swallow it.” I command.

 

Sejanus nods, his tears still so prominent. He swallows and opens his mouth again, I aim my spit toward his mouth. The spit lands on the corner of his mouth and he laps it up. Then that rush to my head grows stronger. I don’t know what to do with the rush of power I am feeling so I snatch Sejanus up by his throat. The water splashes out of the tub as he tries to sit himself up, his arms slipping in the water.

 

“Coriolanus, fuck.” Sejanus chokes out. I release him and tell him to get out of the tub. He stumbles out and I see him wrap his hand around his dick. The boy begins to jerk himself off and as much as I want to tell him to stop, I can’t bring myself to it. He leans his back against my vanity, and I come up with an even better idea. I unplug the tub and get out of the water before turning Sejanus so that he is facing the mirror. I get behind him and slide two fingers in his hole. He yelps then calms down, allowing me to go knuckle deep.

 

“Look at yourself Sejanus.” I taunt him as he continues to jerk his dick off. “You’re all fucked up for me. I made you come, what, an hour or so ago? You still need more though, don’t you?”. I wrap my other hand around his neck, “Such a filthy fucking slut. You like being forced. You like being hit. You like being spat on. What else do you like that I don’t know about?” My words are going straight to Sejanus’s head. He sobs and moans all in one—I can tell he’s ready to cum.

 

“Cum for me, okay? Say my name when you cum.” I am so into the moment that Sejanus’s orgasm throws me off guard. Sejanus throws his head onto my shoulder, and I release his neck to grab his hair, lifting his head so that he can see himself.

 

“You’re perfect, almost as if I made you in the lab.” I whisper to Sejanus. His body jerks and spasms as he grips the sink, clenching his pearly white teeth tight. I grind my fingers in his hole, reaching as far as I can go. Sejanus barely lets out any sperm but by how foggy his eyes look and his physical condition I can tell he feels so good.

 

“Ahh! Ahhh fuck Coriolanus fuck!” He begins to yell out as he jerks himself harder. Then, he releases what I assume is the last cum he has inside him. “Oh my god Coriolanus,” he groans. I let go of his hair and caress his body softly.

 

“You’re so filthy,” I lick Sejanus’s shoulders and chest, “So tasty too.” I smirk against his skin. He is still shaking but he has let go of his dick. I pull my fingers out from his ass. “Stop crying.” I tell him. Because truly, I am so over seeing it and hearing it. Sejanus sniffles, his breath shaky as he tries to calm himself down. Sejanus must have tried to get me like this for him a million times. I never crumbled that easily. He’d need a lot more control to make me sob for him, to have me begging him to make me cum. Of course, I liked being underneath Sejanus because his attention was on me. This is much better.

 

We dry off and I give Sejanus my sweatpants to change into. Once he is changed, he comes to my bed. I am sitting on the edge, and he throws himself, belly down, onto the covers. I look over to him and give his ass a slap.

 

“Do you feel better now?” I ask. He nods. “I need to go to Arachne’s, are you coming with?”. He gives me another nod.

 

“Put on my University hoodie, I don’t need her asking about all your bruises.” I tell him. Sejanus drags himself up and grabs the hoodie I hold out to him. He slides the red fabric on, and I make sure to observe him. No bruises visible, good. Our drive to Arachne’s home is fairly silent and when we arrive, I note that Hilarius’s car is out front.

 

Arachne opens the door, beaming, “Snow!” She throws herself into my arms.

 

“Hi Arachne, I’m here for the stylists ideas for the tributes. I want to see them.” I get straight to the point.

 

“Well come in, Hilarius and Lys are over.” She tells me. She kisses Sejanus on the cheek, and he gives a small smile. Arachne notices something and pushes me in. She stays behind to talk to Sejanus and I have no interest in their conversation. Hilarius and Lys are sipping on drinks in the living room.

 

“Coriolanus, Arachne didn’t tell us you were coming over.” Hilarius beams.

 

“Yes, I came uninvited. She has stuff I need for the games.” I explain.

 

Hilarius hums in understanding, “She was showing us the designs for the district tributes. They look really good.” He hands me a folder.

 

I take it happily, flicking through the labeled pages. I skip to District 2, the designs are golden and white. The boys is some sort of white sash with spaces left for the stomach to show and a long golden skirt. The girls is a golden dress, accompanied by a white head piece. I hate it. No district scum should be that pretty. Still, it is on par with making the tributes as close as they can be to the Capital looks. I want the citizens that matter of Panem to see them as a prize, one that can be bought. Arachne interrupts me by snatching the book from my hands.

 

“Why does Sejanus look like this!” Arachne yells. She has Sejanus’s wrist held tightly as she drags him in front of me.

 

“Like what?” I tilt my head.

 

“Like some,” she glances to Hilarius and Lys, then back to me, “Sex slave.” She whispers.

 

“I’m sure he can tell you he wanted that.” I don’t bother whispering. Lys is innocent in all of this, but Hilarius is a slut as well.

 

“You do know he’ll be presented alongside us at the reaping tomorrow?” Arachne presses.

 

“Yes!” I snap at her, “Make-up exist Arachne, he will be fine.” I snatch her hand off his wrist, “And don’t touch him like that.” I tell her.

 

Hilarius smirks at the interaction, taking a long swig of his drink. “Oh? Is he your property now?” Arachne teases.

 

“Sejanus?” I look to him, “Yeah, might as well be.” I snatch the book back from her and take a seat next to Hilarius. I take his drink as well as I open up the book.

 

“These look good but why is District 12 in all black?” I ask Arachne.

 

“Ask Tigris, she designed theirs along with District 11 because no one else wanted to.” Arachne explains as she takes a seat in the living room. Sejanus takes a seat next to me.

 

“Why do you care? Worried your songbird is going to notice her district is getting the short end of the stick?” Arachne smirks against her glass.

 

Sejanus eyes me as if he is expecting an answer. I don’t respond though. I’ve no idea why it bothers me. District 12 is where my father died and somehow, I’ve replaced my memories of that with memories of Lucy Gray. I shouldn’t care. Sejanus must be thinking I have feelings for Lucy Gray. Which could be true. I truly did think she was a beautiful thing. She helped me win the Plinth Prize after all. I continue observing the outfits while the other three discuss who they think will win the games. Sejanus says he doesn’t care and that he still thinks it’s wrong. It is Hilarius who asks why Sejanus thinks that. Sejanus glances to me I plead with my eyes for him to just not answer. He shrugs to Hilarius.

 

“Coriolanus isn’t the president, you can be honest with us.” Arachne tells Sejanus. Not the President, yet.

 

“It’s just a way to scare them. There’s no humanity in it at all. The kids fighting in the games are not the ones who rebelled.” Sejanus says quickly, as if someone is listening.

 

“Right, but they are the children of those who rebelled.” Hilarius adds.

 

“Right,” Sejanus shoots a look toward Hilarius, “Which means that they weren’t the ones who rebelled.”

 

“It’s a punishment, Sejanus.” Hilarius says defensively.

 

“It’s cruel and unusual. Imagine if they won the war and did that to us, we’d be getting reaped.” Sejanus scoffs.

 

“They didn’t, win the war that is.” I clarify before dipping my head back into the stylists book.

 

“It was a fucking hypothetical Coriolanus.” Sejanus rolls his eyes. I ignore him because I know better than to fight with Sejanus in front of people. He is quick with his mouth, and I’ve built the habit of not needing to speak but instead act.

 

“I do get what you’re saying Sejanus, but what do you suggest? Do we just let them run free again? They’ll always have a grudge towards us for living better than they do.” Arachne explains.

 

“They have a grudge towards us because we are killing their children and starving their neighbors.” Sejanus retorts.

 

“If you hate the Capital so much, why don’t you go back to the districts? You wouldn’t exactly be poor there.” Hilarius asks. The question is innocent, no malicious intent. Sejanus doesn’t take it that way though.

 

“Because they hate me.” Sejanus says then stands up, “Have you seen enough? Can we go?” He asks me. I just nod. The room is tense and Hilarius is beginning to apologize but Sejanus isn’t having it.

 

“Hilarius I really don’t need your pity, okay? I’m not district anymore, I eat just fine, I was second in our class while you were what, fifth, sixth? My families as rich as yours, only difference is I can marry who I please.” Sejanus snaps before storming out of Arachne’s front door without me.

 

Even for me, what Sejanus said was mean. Sejanus is technically still district, and you can tell in the way he goes so far to prove himself. You don’t just bring up matters like that to shut someone up. Hilarius can marry who he wants. He just knows it’s not a good idea. Sure, his father is traditional, but his father was not exactly surprised Hilarius had two boys in his bedroom.

 

“Sorry about him, long day.” Is all I can really say.

 

“I’m going to talk to him. I don’t like being on bad terms.” Hilarius says then trails after Sejanus.

 

“Lysistrata I’m sorry, I know you’re not used to all this ruckus.” Arachne sighs.

 

“No, it’s fine, far more entertaining than home.” Lys giggles. She’d be a good wife, she shuts up, she’s smart, her family is high named. I think Hilarius would be better off marrying her instead of Livia Cardew. The girl seems like a girl version of Felix—except Felix is much cockier.

 

“How do you think Sejanus will react to tomorrow’s reaping?” Arachne asks.

 

“Not well. Me and Sejanus have had…fun today so, maybe his mind will be elsewhere.” I tell her.

 

“Sejanus doesn’t exactly look like he’s had the fun you’re talking about.” Arachne’s voice is laced with accusations that I don’t like. I stand up and hand her the folder, sarcastically thanking her for the designs. 

 

Before I leave, I turn to her, “I needn’t you to tell me what Sejanus was content with or not. I’ll film it for you next time though, it would be a good watch.” I give her my fakest smile before closing her front door.

 

Sejanus and Hilarius are sat on the porch, sitting too close for my liking, talking in calm tones. Hilarius has his hand on Sejanus lower back, his fingers drawing circles into my hoodie. I stand behind the two for a while just taking in the disturbing image. My mind wanders, thinking of what I’d do if Sejanus chose Hilarius over me. Hilarius is kind, wealthy, high-named, tall, and pretty. I can’t find a thing I have that he doesn’t. So maybe Sejanus is thinking about it. I cough, trying to let my presence be known. Hilarius drops his hand, retreating the limb to his lap.

 

“Ready to go?” I ask Sejanus. He nods and I hold my hand out to him as a kind gesture. Hilarius does the same. Sejanus, to my dismay, takes Hilarius’s hand to stand up. I want to kick Hilarius in the face. I try to make sure my annoyance doesn’t show. Nothing is uglier than jealousy. Hilarius walks with us to the car and when he reaches to open the door for Sejanus I grip his hand.

 

“I got it.” I say as calmly as I can. Sejanus eyes Hilarius and they have some telepathic moment that makes me feel left out.

 

“Sorry, just trying to help.” Hilarius smiles to me. I can feel my lips form into a smile, but my eyes stay locked to his as I open the door and wait for Sejanus to get in. Once we start driving, I can’t bite my tongue any longer.

 

“What the fuck was that?” I ask Sejanus.

 

“Coriolanus, please, I am drained I don’t want to argue with you.” Sejanus sighs as he tells me.

 

“Oh? I am so sorry that seeing your boy toy Hilarius has drained you.” I roll my eyes.

 

“Corio- I mean Coriolanus, he was just comforting me that is all.” Sejanus explains. I look at him, my face twisting up at the thought of him being comforted by Hilarius.

 

I lean into him, “Did you like his hands on your body?” I ask in a whisper.

 

“No.” Sejanus glances around despite no one being able to see us.

 

“Oh?” I say sarcastically.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” Sejanus tries to back away from me as he asks and I snatch the back of his neck, pulling him into me. “Ow! Coriolanus chill!” He whines, trying to pull away from me.

 

“Do you want him?” I can’t hide the worry in my voice, the pure panic that is rushing over me as I realize Sejanus might want someone else.


“No, I don’t! Now let go of me.” Sejanus yells and I release him. The terrible feeling of my chest tightening, head spinning, and eyes watering floods through my body. Do not cry Coriolanus. Pull yourself together. You can get rid of Hilarius too if you need. You can make Sejanus stay with you. I am trying to slow my thoughts my rage is pure and Sejanus being so close to me isn’t helping. I only realize I am crying when I feel the hot, salty liquid streaming down my cheeks.

 

“I don’t want you talking to him anymore, okay?” I tell Sejanus. He is looking at me like I have cat ears and fangs hanging from my mouth. “Okay?!” I am shouting now because I feel so unheard, so vulnerable.

 

“Okay.” Is all Sejanus can get out it seems.

 

I tell the driver to detour to the lab and wipe my face off. “Coriolanus are you okay?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Yeah.” I clasp my shaking hands into each other. Hours ago, I was grimacing at how gross and stupid Sejanus was for sobbing like that in front of me. Now here I am.

 

“I told you the sex with Hilarius was just an in the moment thing.” Sejanus places his hand on to mine as he speaks. “Hey,” he takes his other hand, rubbing my back, “I only want you.” Sejanus tells me. He could be lying. Still, I accept his touch. When we arrive to the lab, I check myself out in the car window, making sure I look presentable still. I allowed Sejanus to dress sloppy, but I have a pair of black slacks on and a burgundy button up. I step into Gaul’s lab with Sejanus trailing me and quickly find her.

 

“Dr. Gaul,” I say once I lay eyes on her.

 

“Mr. Snow, how grand to see you. Ready for tomorrows reaping?” She asks with a creepy smile.

 

“Of course, I looked over the stylists outfits for the tributes—I know you said you didn’t want them looking too flashy—I think they missed your memo. Should I have them make adjustments?” I ask.

 

“You’re the Head Gamemaker.” She states.

 

“You’re the mind behind these games.” I retort.

 

“Hello, Sejanus.” She cocks her head around me to look at him. He gives a polite nod and smile. “You look…disheveled.” She comments.

 

“University really takes it out of me.” He says.

 

“Yes, I recall my days at the University. Long nights torturing rabbits, exhausting.” She says. Sejanus opens his mouth to speak then closes it. Probably better if he doesn’t ask. “Any how, Lexan will be here in a few moments. He has the outfits for the arena. I made some last-minute changes.” She looks back to me as she explains.

 

“Oh? Did Lexan assist with those? I’ve been out of the lab.” I ask.

 

“Barely, he is better as an errand boy since you two don’t communicate well.” She tells me.

 

As if someone rang a bell Lexan comes strutting through the lab with two binders in one hand and a 12-inch by 12-inch tank of water. “Hello Corio, and Janus.” He says.

 

“My name is Coriolanus,” I sigh, “What’s with the fish tank?” I ask.

 

“I thought since we had more aquatic mutts the arena is better off being based underwater with a few above water highlights.” She explains.

 

“Underwater?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Yes,” She glances at him, trying to read his reaction, “The last grasslands the Capital had have been swamped with liters of water, we plan to make it like a dangerous swimming pool. On top will be swim floaties, rafts, and maybe even a pool noodle. Underneath will terror.” She explains thoroughly.

 

“I like it, plus District 4 tributes have an advantage, makes the games more intriguing.” I add.

 

Lexan twirls in a lab chair, "Not many other districts swim though.”

 

“Yes, that is the literal definition of an advantage, Lexan.” I say. “The binders?” I question.

 

“They are drawings of swimsuits for the tributes, full body.” He tosses me the binders as he speaks.

 

“Nice.” I say as I look over the drawings. “I should head home. I must be at the ceremonies tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, it will be a long day. I don’t intend on showing up, so the stage is yours. Use it well, make sure you speak of the games as the population sees them, not how we dream them to be.” Gaul tells me. She is smart, someone I look up to. Still, I hate her for saying this in front of Sejanus. Sejanus is smart like me and Gaul, not dumb like Lexan. Sejanus sees the underlying tones of everything, and he definitely picked those up.

 

“Of course, thank you Gaul.” I tell her.

 

Chapter 15: Apicata

Summary:

Alpheus Plinth looks to me and I note that his brown eyes are darker than Sejanus’s, “You must be his new Apicata, ask him where chasing Sejanus around got him.”

Notes:

I've been working for 4 days straight and lost the will to live. I think I am back.

The Hunger Games begin tomorrow, well not the fighting to death part, just the ceremonies. When I wake up Sejanus is curled onto his side, away from me. I pull his body into mine and hold him from behind. He pulls away a tad, but I keep my hold firm. I kiss at his neck, biting hickeys I’ve already made. It seems the bruise around his neck will be there for a few more days or so. I suck and bite until he is groaning. I reach my hands down his stomach until I feel his boner.

 

“Hard for me?” I whisper in his ear. Sejanus gives me a soft nod, his eyes are still shut as he isn’t awake yet. I get even more turned on at the thought. I bite at Sejanus’s ear—which I don’t think I’ve ever done—while jerking his dick through his boxers. After a while I can feel Sejanus’s body becoming more conscious of what’s happening.

 

“Not now Snow,” Sejanus’s voice is groggy as he mumbles the words.

 

“Yes now,” I whisper to him.

 

Sejanus turns over so that he is facing me, “I said no, the reaping’s today I just want to avoid it ’til it’s all over.” He tells me.

 

“Your dick is telling me different. Sex can help distract you, don’t you know.” I tell him as I kiss his lips. It is desperate how I am trying to convince him to give his body to me. Truly, I don’t think he would put up much of a fight if I just took what I wanted. Sejanus pulls away from my kiss.

 

“I’m not kidding with you.” Sejanus says as he sits up, pulling away from my touch and leaving me cold. “You’ve got to be at Gaul’s, right? I’m gonna head to Arachne’s she said she isn’t going to any of the festivities today anyways.” He tells me. He is getting dressed quickly and I can’t even process what he is saying before he is gone. I shut my eyes tight. I really did want to fuck him before I spend the day pretending to like old rich people and Lexan. I sit up and ignore my boner before getting dressed.

 

Apparently, Gaul has a bone to pick with me and I’ve no idea what it is over. So, here we are in her lab, working in silence like two Avox’s. I woke up extremely early just to come in and configure different fish and underwater creatures for the arena. Instead, I am studying DNA and how certain chemicals can bring out different behaviors in creatures. I ask her where she wants to meet the morning of the games, and she stares at me a long time.

 

“You can’t keep ignoring me you know that, right?” I say.

 

I turn back to my work when she doesn’t respond. I guess we are better off not speaking. I hear the lab door swing open and expect to see Lexan but instead Sejanus walks in. My brain flashes back to the first time I was in this lab with Sejanus, and I smirk to myself.

 

“Corio.” His voice rings out. He must think I am alone, it is early, but he has no idea how horrid Gaul’s sleep schedule is. “I brought you breakfast.”

 

Gaul glares at me, I set my pen down to find him in the lab, but I am too late. When I turn around there he is. He looks put together, like he is going somewhere. He has on a tight black shirt, his arm muscles showing off and grey sweat shorts. Only Sejanus can make an outfit like that look good. “We are really focused right now I’m not hungry.” I say to him and hope he reads into my eyes.

 

He looks to Gaul, “Hello, Dr. Gaul.”

 

“Hello, Sejanus.” She drawls. Sejanus isn’t a complete idiot, he knows Gaul doesn’t like him.

 

“Ya sure? Arachne made it, apparently it is- “I put my hand up, cutting him off.

 

“Yes,” I emphasize the word, my small way of correcting the boys misuse of language, “I am sure. Truly, I’m trying to change the genetic code of a fish so, go Janus.” I use his nickname in another sad attempt to get him to leave.

 

“Jeez okay, everyone’s so happy the games are starting tomorrow and…you’re pissy.” Sejanus says, shrugging with his words.

 

“Sejanus. Out. Now.” I grit my teeth but still attempt to sound polite. I notice a small smirk on his lips, and I realize he is not dumb, but is playing dumb.

 

“Okay, okay, I’ll see you at your house then or maybe I won’t. Hilarius invited me over, I’ll be there meanwhile.” He says then he is disappearing out of Gaul’s lab. I know he has said that in jest. Or I think I know. I hate the thought of him being alone with Hilarius. Now that I think about it Sejanus loved having Hilarius between us in the shower. I force myself to let it go and focus. I sit down and begin to dissect the code again. Gaul begins to hum as she injects one of the hundreds of docile goldfish with the poison she has created. I nibble at my lips as Sejanus’s words flood back into my mind. What is he trying to do? I keep telling him when I am working with Gaul I need to focus. I’ve only been officially dating him for less than a week or so and he is stressing me out. Not only have I been tearing my lips up with my teeth, but I have also picked up the habit of bouncing my leg up and down when I get too focused.

 

“Coriolanus. Your leg.” Gaul comments. I freeze the bouncing and huff. The sound must be irritating her.

 

“May I help you inject the fish, I feel like I am getting nowhere over here?” I ask.

 

“No, you’re all shaky. You’ll bruise my babies.” She explains.

 

“I’d feel less shaky if I weren’t breaking down DNA combinations.” I say.

 

“Sejanus is right, you are pissy.” She laughs to herself.

 

“Is that what you’re upset about? Sejanus?” I ask.

 

“Maybe. Or is it that I’ve practically birthed you and I found out you were marrying through someone else.” She scoffs.

 

“There wasn’t much time to have a party about it when every time I come here Lexan is snooping around.” I roll my eyes. I am thankful her back is turned to me because my mannerisms are disrespectful at least.

 

“Lexan doesn’t snoop around, he is my student just like you.” Gaul turns to me now, “So, Sejanus Snow? Quite the ring to it.” I turn away from her this time, continuing to strip the DNA out of the tubes. “Did you propose before or after he sang his little rebel tune in District Two? I’m guessing it was before.”

 

“Gaul, if you don’t like the fact that I am marrying him, just say it.” I tell her.

 

“Why wouldn’t I like it?” She asks.

 

I realize I am gripping my vile too tight when it shatters in my hand. “Fuck.” I mutter as the shards fly. An Avox rushes in to clean the mess up, “Don’t! I’ve got it.” I shove the thing away. I feel Gaul’s eyes boring into me as I pick up the glass and wipe the fluids up. My hand is bleeding, but I really do not care.

 

“Come here, let me wrap your hand.” Gaul says.

 

We stand over a sink and Gaul washes my hand then slowly stitches the sliced open flesh. “Never mind your sad, soon-to-be marriage. What is your issue with Lexan?”

 

“He is a snake, who pretends not to be. I told you I don’t trust him.” I hope she gets my reference to one of our earlier conversations. When she finishes, she lets me inject some fish before we head to the arena. The drive there is silent, the suns rising so softly and it brings me hope for the day. All that hope washes away in an instant when we arrive to Lexan standing outside of the arenas gates. The arena is exactly as Gaul described it. What used to be free grass lands is now pitted out and filled with water. In the middle of the manmade lake is a large sculpture in the shape of a cornucopia. The silver metal is engraved, giving the structure fish scales. We walk on the edges of the water, and I try to take the whole arena in. I must know what it feels like to be in here to put on the best show possible. I am taking it all in when the annoying shit begins talking.

 

“I think the tributes will be pleased, there’s lots to work with.” Lexan says.

 

“Yes, I hope your ideas about the mutated insects in the grass will prove useful.” Gaul tells him and I have to stare at the ground so that my eye rolling doesn’t show.


“The engineers were able to get better camera placements underwater as well. I don’t think the ones before were any good.” He explains.

 

“What do you think Snow?” Gaul asks me.

 

“It looks, hunger gamesy.” I say, making sure to wiggle my fingers dramatically. It is childish how I begin to act around Lexan. I’m like some brat whose mother just gave birth, and I can’t shake the feeling of being replaced.

 

“How descriptive.” Lexan drawls.

 

I snap my head to him, “Excuse me?” I ask Lexan.

 

“Just wondering who pissed in your coffee is all. I mean you are Head Gamemaker, you should be pleased. More than half of this is your work.” Lexan says.

 

“Don’t tell me how to feel you piece of shit. I am the first, and only, Head Gamemaker. You think putting a few bugs in an arena gives you the right to disrespect me?” I can feel my heart rate rising, my hands balling into fists, as I speak. What is wrong with me? I need to sleep, or I am genuinely going to kill Lexan like we are tributes.

 

“Coriolanus why don’t you head to the university, they’ll be expecting the Head Gamemaker there.” Gaul orders, placing emphasis on my title. “Lexan and I plan on fixing the kinks in the arena before tomorrow so, go.” She tells me.

 

I walk away without saying anything else. If Gaul wants that fool as a student, then she can have him. He isn’t half as smart as me or that would have been known by now. Lexan is simply a product of the dumb, lazy, and rich families that waste space in the Capital. My anger is strong enough to get me to the university on foot in less than twenty minutes. When I arrive to Heavensbee hall, where the streaming of the reaping is going to occur, Hilarius and Sejanus are in a corner talking. I thought he was skipping out on these festivities as he called them.

 

“Corio,” Sejanus sets his drink down, “Glad you could make it.”

 

“Yeah, whatever. I want to watch these kids get reaped then go home.” I take a seat.

 

“Who pissed in your- “Hilarius begins.

 

I turn to him, “Do not finish that sentence.” I sigh, “It was Lexan.” I tell him.

 

“Well, all the donors for the arena are here today, I’d use that Snow charm if I were you.” Hilarius tells me, nodding to the rich families in the room. Great.

 

“Plus, we get to hear Lucy Gray sing tomorrow, don’t we?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Yes, Sejanus. Don’t be so excited.” I say flatly. An Avox comes by with drinks and I grab two, not caring how it looks. Soon, I will be on camera, broadcasted to all of Panem. Casca Highbottom takes the stage, giving a long speech that was obviously written for him about the history and importance of the games. He then calls me up to the stage and introduces me as the maker of this year’s Hunger Games.

 

“Thank you, Dean Highbottom, I am more than honored to have been so involved in what will be known as one of the pivotal moments in our history.” I speak into the mic. I am more than prepared for this speech still, I hate that I have to give it in front of Sejanus. He makes me feel subconscious about my pride for Panem.

“The Hunger Games were established shortly after the Districts betrayal to the Capital. Since then, we have shown them that we are a body of one, the Capitol being the heart of Panem. This year, the victor of The Hunger Games will win their whole District food and will be awarded a home in the Victors Village. The generosity of the Capitol is extended to those who sacrifice for their district. Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favor. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.”

 

Cheers erupt as I finish my speech, but I don’t hear them really. Sejanus is looking at me like I am the devil and when our eyes lock, he looks away. I don’t bother to reconvene with him as the reaping begins. I stay seated next to Highbottom which might be worse than dealing with Sejanus’s empathy. District one pops up on the screen and the boy then girl are read off.

 

The mayor I know from District 2 appears on the screen and I lean in, “The girl tribute from District 2 is Linna Stone.” The crowd parts, exposing the girl. Her eyes go wide as if she realizes her name has been called late. She drags her feet as she walks up the stage. The Mayor gives her the mic, “Hello.” Her voice rings out. She must be twelve with the high pitch her throat lets out. She backs away from the mic, her body shaking.

 

“Now, for the boys,” The mayor dips his hand into the bowl of names and draws a piece of paper, “Alpheus Plinth.”

 

Gasps draw out of people’s mouths around the room, and I must stop myself from gasping along. I watch as they turn their head to the Plinth family. Sejanus’s mother keeps a stone face as well as his father, who is not moving. Sejanus doesn’t even look shocked. The boy, Alpheus, is tall like Sejanus. He actually looks so much like him that I wonder how closely the two are related. I never did ask Sejanus where the rest of his family was. The President was generous enough to allow them in but what about his family? Alpheus takes the stage and when the mic is placed in his face, he smacks it out of the Mayors hand. I loud booming sound then static rings out. Peacekeepers are quick to grab him and drag him into the door of the Justice Building. I turn around again, and Sejanus is gone. I don’t bother to stay any longer. I run out of the ballroom and down the stairs. There he is, my fiancé, my Sejanus. He is leaned against the wall, his head resting on the stone as he sobs. “Janus, are you okay? Who is Alpheus?” I ask.

 

“My cousin, his family refused to come to the Capitol with us.” He explains.

 

“Do you care for him?” I keen.

 

“What?” Sejanus whips his head to me. “What type of question is that? Do you care for Tigris?” He rolls his eyes.

 

“Sure, I- “He puts his hand up, so I stop talking.

 

“How bad is the arena Corio?” He asks me.

 

I allow him to call me by the nickname, “It is deadly. It’s built on the grasslands with a giant lake in the middle. Inside the lake are genetically modified fish. We also control the temperature and movement of the water.” I explain.

 

Sejanus closes his eyes. “I hate the Capitol.” I look around us as the words slip from his mouth. I reach for his hand, but he snatches it away.

 

“I am not the Capitol Sejanus, let me comfort you.” I plead. I am sleep deprived, hungry, and now rejected as the words that fall from his lips next are cold.

 

“You really are the Capitol.” He tells me.

 

“So, what you hate me now?” I ask, slowly getting frustrated.

 

“May the odds be ever in your favor? That Panem bullshit you spewed at the end?” Sejanus snaps at me. “Are you practicing for when you’re 80 and still sending children to their deaths?”

 

I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I’ve been working really hard on all of this. My whole life. Let’s eat dinner tonight with friends, I don’t need to be at all the ceremonies, okay?” I am trying to do the opposite of what I usually do, which is defend the Capitol.

 

“How can you eat, knowing you built someone’s death trap?” Sejanus asks me through his tears. I lose all hope of this conversation when he asks.

 

“Sejanus please.” I roll my eyes, “You know who I am, and you know how I feel about all this, yet you keep crying to me about it like I will change my mind. They lost the war Sejanus, that they started! I don’t care what happens to them. But you know that, you just keep forcing me to say it over and over again.” I am once again being looked at like I am sick.

 

Sejanus has been arguing with me about this since we were children. In the Academy we would debate about the treatment of the districts so often that the other students wouldn’t even chime in. Still, Sejanus followed me around, asking me to study and to be lab partners. I accepted his invitations because he was equally smart as me. I don’t get why Sejanus is, even now, entertaining the idea of marrying me when he knows how I feel. In the back of my mind, I find relief that Hilarius thinks of the games the same way as me, meaning him and Sejanus wouldn’t be that good of a match. I reach for his hand slowly and I grasp it, rubbing circles around it.

 

Sejanus locks his teary eyes to mine, “Corio, do you really think that a war, eleven years ago, justifies 23 children dying every year?” His voice is calm, so calm that it creeps me out.

 

“You’ve asked me this before, so you know the answer. Also, that war killed my father.” I let go of his hand and walk back to the ballroom. Tears prick at my eyes as I begin to think about my dad. Crassus Snow, General, father, son, and husband. I’ve none of those titles. I try to pull myself together before I walk back into the room, but I fail. Sejanus is getting on last nerve, but I am tired of arguing with him. I turn around and race down the stairs. He looks at me wildly as I come back down. I grab his arm and pull him into a study.

 

“You gonna fix me again?” Sejanus snaps at me once we reach the room.

 

“I don’t want to fight with you. I love you, I want you to be by my side when I become the President. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband.” I confess. I grab his shoulder, “I’ll never change though Sejanus. I deserve the fruits of my labor and becoming some rebel is not in my plans. So, if you don’t want me as I am, walk away and leave it that way.” I huff as I finish my tangent. I think this is only the second time I’ve told Sejanus I love him, the first was during sex.

 

“You done?” Sejanus quirks his brow.

 

“Yes.” I respond, somewhat puzzled.

 

“Does the whole ‘I am who I am’ bullshit only go for you, or do I get that courtesy too? My family is headed to your sick little fish tank of hell arena! You are a murderer, do you think I take that lightly?” He goes on.

 

“You’ve been fucking me like it doesn’t bother you!” I yell at him.

 

“We haven’t had one conversation that didn’t lead to a fucked-up argument since we got back from the districts!” He shouts back.

 

“That’s because you start whining about my career before we can have a peaceful moment!” I am in his face now and it doesn’t take long for Sejanus to push me back. His words are hurting me, making me second guess everything I thought we had. When we fucked Hilarius together he must have loved being around a man who wasn’t so mean and cold.

 

“Ya know what Snow, you are a fucking snake. You suffocate the life out of anything good. I won’t marry a fucking sociopath, figure your shit out.” He tries to walk out but I snatch him up before he leaves.

 

“Sejanus, I am telling you I want you. Sociopaths don’t feel love and I love you. I asked you not to go back to the districts because I worried for you. Just because I make the games doesn’t mean I’m insane.” I plead.

 

“Begging doesn’t look good on you Coriolanus.” He says flatly.

 

I still have a hold of him, but I feels like, in this moment I have lost him. No matter what I say or what I do. “Sejanus?” I try to find a glint in his eyes.

 

“My cousins going to die in the arena you made. Do you think I’ll forgive you after that too?” Sejanus yanks from me when he is done speaking.

 

“Sejanus I can make sure he lives, I promise. I can convince Gaul of it and then the game will be shaped around him winning.” He rolls his eyes as I speak.

 

“You have no bounds, do you? You’ll do anything to keep me at bay. Anything to keep my mouth shut.” He spits. I can hear my heartbeat grow louder and louder inside my ears. My eyes blink away tears that threaten to fall. Is he right? Is all this, all that I’ve done, me playing the game Gaul set me out to play the day Sejanus spread those breadcrumbs? I don’t think so. I think I genuinely love him. I think about what my mother said about my father again. Maybe I am that way, an evil person who can love. Maybe I am both.

 

“Sejanus I only ever want you to be silent, so you’ll live.” I try to explain.

 

“Some things are worth dying for.” That fire in his eyes lights up again. Like the night in Gaul’s lab when he told me he wasn’t broken, that there was nothing for me to fix. It terrifies me to my core. A boy who grew up in the districts but found a home in the Capitol who is so intent on tearing it apart. He is dangerous.

 

“I need you.” I try one more time.

 

“Then make sure Alpheus lives.” He leaves the room. I only realize now that I have been crying. The tears I thought I pushed away are gushing down my face in hot and wet drops.

-—————————-—————————-—————

Sejanus has spent so much time at my house that all his things are here. He gets undressed and goes into my bathroom alone. I just sit in the edge of the bed thinking about what he will say next to me. I guess he must be distraught about his cousin. But how distraught must he be? Alpheus’s name should not have even been drawn. The Plinth’s have more than enough money and food to send home. I take the white rose out of my suit jacket and set it on my nightstand then get undressed. I walk into the bathroom and see Sejanus bending over, running the water.

 

“Can I shower with you?” I ask.

 

“Dude, I’m not fucking you.” Sejanus snarls. Dude? I’ve never heard him say that before. Our ride home was civil enough, but I do guess he told me he isn’t like anymore. Which is like saying our marriage will be just like the other Capitol marriages loveless.

 

“Sejanus you can’t be mad at me forever. I just wish you’d listen when I talk then we won’t fight.” I calmly say.

 

“Oh? Wow. What a profound statement. You’re sooo smart Coriolanus.” Sejanus mocks me. He undresses himself and steps into the running water.

 

“I know you’re upset about Alphe- “I try to say.

 

“Don’t! You don’t deserve to say his name.” Sejanus says, cutting me off.

 

“When I was with you in two, you never mentioned your family or went to see them.” I say and then take a seat on the bathroom floor.

 

“They don’t speak to my family. They were mad after the war.” He explains.

 

“Sejanus, why do we have to fight all the time?” I ask.

 

“I don’t know Corio.” He tells me. “When you said you wanted me, did you mean it? That you worried for me? This isn’t just you playing your games?” He asks, running a hand full of shampoo through his curls.

 

“Of course, Sejanus, I meant every word.” I tell him.

 

“Then you’ll make sure Alpheus lives, right?” He locks eyes with me as he asks.

 

“I will Sejanus, I promise.” I whisper. He then shuts the shower curtain, and I take it as my queue to leave.

———————————————

The next morning comes fast. I shake Sejanus to try and wake him up be he is not budging. I get dressed, all black with creme accents and head to the presidents mansion. This year the tributes will be brought here for the opening ceremony. I mentioned this Gaul as it would be much better than parading them through the streets. I arrive and see about group of peacekeepers with their batons out threatening someone. I run over to the situation.

 

“Back down kid!” A Peacekeeper says, striking the boy in the knees.

 

“Hey! Stop!” I shout out.

 

The boy coughs as another blow lands on his stomach, “Fucking district scum.” The Peacekeepers laugh.

 

“Did you hear me? Stop! I’m Head Gamemaker, hit another one of my tributes and I’ll make sure you’re an Avox for the poorest of families.” I get in the soldiers face. They walk away, back into their lines. I probably need to be a bit calmer, as much as I hate Peacekeepers, they are Capitol.

 

I reach out a hand to help the boy up and when he looks up it’s as if I am staring at Sejanus. This must be Alpheus, the planned winner of The 11th Hunger Games. “I’m Coriolanus Snow.” I say.

 

“I know who you are.” He slaps my hand away, getting up on his own. How could he know who I am?

 

It takes everything in me not to wipe my hand off where he slapped it. Not in front of him, I tell myself. I look at all the tributes, “I am the Head Gamemaker, call me Snow. Soon you will meet your stylists and mentors who will dress, clean, and feed you. The Capitol thanks you for your valor.” They all stare back at me like I’m some sort of animal, “Welcome to the Capital.” I half bow before walking away. I walk under the tunnel and find the District escorts. I find the District 2 escorts, “Is there a way after the cleaning process I can have Alpheus Plinth delivered to the University lab?” I ask a short statured woman with two golden braids that fall on her shoulders.

 

“Wow, Mr. Snow in the flesh. You are as handsome as they say.” She smiles wide.

 

“Thank you, and you are?” I ask honestly.

 

“Penelope Rom, daughter of Senator Rom.” Penelope says, holding her hand out to shake mine. Senator Rom is one of the eight Senators that advise the war department on their tactics. I forgot the man had children or maybe I never actually cared to know.

 

“Nice to meet you Ms. Rom.” I smile.

 

“Oh please, call me Penelope. What were you on about, the Plinth boy?” She bats her eyelashes as she speaks, and I want to gag.

 

“Yes, I’d like him sent to the University Lab, not to the Academy one with the other children.” I explain.

 

“Sure, I’ll have the Peacekeepers cuff him and deliver him to you myself.” She suggests.

 

“Perfect Penelope, I appreciate you.” I kiss her cheek to show my gratitude and possibly sway her to truly get the job done.

 

When I get inside of the mansion everyone is drinking, eating, and dancing. I guess Gaul was right about making The Hunger Games seem like a festival to get it attention. I say hello to too many people before seeing Hilarius, Arachne, and Lysistrata. “Snow!” Lysistrata beams.

 

“Hi, how’s the party been?” I ask as I hug Lys.

 

Hilarius looks me up and down, “Why are you dressed for a funeral?” He laughs.

 

“All the game makers are wearing black and creme. Our job is to literally conduct multiple funerals.” I tell him.

 

“I guess so,” Arachne purses her lips, “Where is Sejanus?” Arachne pries.

 

“He was rough to wake up this morning.” I grab a drink from a tray an Avox holds. “Lucy Gray will be singing in an hour, I don’t want to miss it so I’m going to head to the balcony.” I walk away from my friends without letting them say anything. The last thing I need on my mind is Sejanus. Hilarius didn’t say anything, but I know him and Sejanus are closer now, that man knows something.

 

I find an exit quickly and bump into… Sejanus. “Why’d you leave before I woke up?” Sejanus asks. I grasp his hand and pull him with me.

 

“I’ve got to get to the balcony so just come with me and I can answer your questions.” I huff.

 

“Did you see Alpheus?” He asks.

 

“Yes, he is fine sort of.” I say.

 

The crowd is bumbling with drunk adults and running children, “Sort of?” Sejanus presses.

 

“Yes, he got into a fight with some Peacekeepers, but I shooed them off.” I turn to him before we get to the tributes, “Sejanus, take a deep breath. Today is going to be hard on you, okay?” I kiss him softly. I walk through the doors where the chariots await, and I see all 24 of my tributes dressed gorgeously. I see Alpheus who has his hand tightly laced with the girl tribute, Janna.

 

“Alpheus,” Sejanus says as we approach them. Sejanus seems to not know what else to say.

 

“Hello Aelius, or do they call you Sejanus here?” Alpheus’s voice is laced with sarcasm. Sejanus just blinks at the boy. Alpheus smirks, “You’re just as cowardly and masked as your father. That suit doesn’t look right on you, not one bit.” Alpheus’s words are stricken with hatred. Alpheus looks to me and I note that his brown eyes are darker than Sejanus’s, “You must be his new Apicata, ask him where chasing Sejanus around got him.”

 

Sejanus is walking away now, and I follow him. We stand in silence as the chariot’s exit the hall and make their way to the balcony of the presidents mansion. I take Sejanus with me to the balcony, and we don’t step out on the platform just watch as the president and his official advisors await the chariot’s. I am thinking over Alpheus’s words. Apicata? How did Sejanus get Apicata killed? I knew Sejanus would be a distraction for all I need to get done today, but I had no idea how bad it would be. Lucy Gray is down below, her guitar in hand. They have dressed her beautifully in a yellow gown and white accessories. Her brown her is laced into a tight braid that falls down her shoulder. A few people from her covey are with her to play their instruments since no one in the Capitol plays the weird things. When the horses stop before her, she strums the strings. I have the worst feeling in my stomach, but I tell myself today can’t go any worse than it has already.

 

She strums a few tunes before singing, “You can’t take my past.” Her fingers fiddle the guitar, “You can’t take my history. You can take my pa, but his names a mystery. Nothing you can take was ever worth keeping. Oh, nothing you can take, was ever worth keeping. “The crowd is eating up the song, maybe they are too dumb to hear what she is saying. I know my suspicions are correct when I hear Sejanus humming along.

“Thinking you’re so fine, thinking you can have mine, thinking you’re in control. Thinking you can change me, maybe rearrange me—think again if that’s your goal.” Her voice rings out, strong and gorgeously. My teeth will shatter if I clench them anymore. Lucy Gray has no idea how evil, how conniving, how smart Gaul is. She will know this is a spit in her face for making Lucy Gray perform.

“Can’t take my sass, can’t take my talking. You can kiss it all and then keep on walking. Nothing you can take was ever worth keepin’. Nothing you can take from me is worth dirt. Take it cause I’d give it free it won’t hurt. Nothing you can take was ever worth keepin’.” Her covey plays their instruments as she sings note after note leaving the crowd immersed in her voice. She does some sort of dance that I have never seen before and never want to again while her band strums. Once she is done, she thanks the tributes for listening instead of the citizens of the Capitol which only irritates me more.

 

The president stands, “Welcome to The 11th Hunger Games.” The crowds cheers are deafening. I grasp Sejanus’s hand tightly before letting go as the president will be introducing me soon. I step forward, going through the balcony doors.

 

“This year is historic, our very first ahead Gamemaker, Coriolanus Snow, took the honor of curating an arena that is untouchable by the rebels.” He gestures to me, and I stand up to the mic.

 

“I am honored to be looking down upon such brave and courageous tributes. We appreciate your sacrifice and are grateful for your valor.” I look down as I talk and lock eyes with Alpheus, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” I raise the glass an Avox hands to me and then the tributes are being carried away by their horses.

 

The president thanks me for such a “lovely and concise” speech and I go back to Sejanus. “I going to meet Alpheus at Gaul’s lab.” I tell him.

 

“What? Why?” Sejanus asks, worry flooding his voice.

 

“There has to be some sort of plan Sejanus.” I roll my eyes, the boys brain must not be thinking. I am so exhausted and a little tipsy if I am being honest.

 

“I want to go with you.” He says.

 

“What for? Alpheus didn’t exactly seem thrilled to see the first time.” I tell him.

 

“Please,” He sighs out. Our drive to the lab is quiet, I am thinking of every possible way not to bring up what Alpheus had said about Apicata. Dead people have a way of haunting my life and he won’t be one of them. When I arrive to the lab, Gaul is not there, and I am grateful for this. Alpheus sits, hands cuffed tightly behind his arms they have even shackled his feet. Truly, he is quite the specimen. Gaul has taught me to view every animal in a different lens than before. Alpheus’s hair is longer than Sejanus’s, it stops just before his shoulders. The boys muscles are apparent given the white gown looking get up he has on that reveals his abs. Sejanus is avoiding looking at Alpheus as we take a seat in front of him. I order the Peacekeepers to take his cuffs off.

 

“The little shit keeps retaliating, no way.” The Peacekeeper tells me.

 

“I am sure he is calmer now. Take them off.” I push.

 

“Fine.” The man pulls out keys and unlocks the shackles. Alpheus rolls his wrists and ankles with a sigh.

 

“So, why I am I here instead of being with the other tributes?” Alpheus asks. I hate this kid. His nose sits high in the air and his physical frame doesn’t help the feeling I have that he thinks little of me.

 

“Sejanus wants you alive, I am the Head Gamemaker. I can help you win the games, but you need to be meticulous about what you do and say.” I begin to explain.

 

Alpheus shoots his eyes to Sejanus, “You can’t even look at me.” He says. Sejanus lifts his eyes to meet the boys who is talking to him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Is all Sejanus gets out.

 

“So, how is Apicata, or did Uncle Strabo make you cut him off?” Alpheus asks.

 

I whip my head to Sejanus, “What is he talking about?” I ask.

 

“Alpheus please stop.” Sejanus mumbles.

 

Alpheus scoffs, leaning back into the black chair, “When I heard his twin died, I thought he would follow suit. Then, I got a letter last week from him. Apicata mentioned some kid named Coriolanus Snow, how you’d been set to marry him. I was shocked when I met him so quickly,” Alpheus sits up, locking eyes with me, “Apicata knows you well, apparently he is one of Gaul’s old students.” His grins grows wide as we stare each other down. I grind my teeth to stop from beating the shit out of Sejanus, or maybe Alpheus, maybe both. Apicata knows me? He is alive. Where?

 

“Listen, I- “I begin.

 

“Yeah, I got it buddy, live. Sejanus, do you really care for your old cousin this much that you’d pull all these strings for me?” Apicata says. He is being sarcastic, and Sejanus is still too anxious from the previous revelations to respond.

 

“There will be interviews you should try to- “I begin again but Alpheus’s voice cuts me off.

 

“I don’t need advice from you!” Alpheus snaps, “I’m going to kill every kid in that arena, it’s no sweat. When I win maybe Aelius here, will actually visit for once.” He glares at Sejanus.

 

Sejanus hasn’t said a word since Alpheus exposed the fact that Apicata is alive. I am thoroughly pissed and although I am not saying anything Sejanus knows me well enough to know. I stand up, “Good. Make sure not to make too many allies.” I say, standing and grabbing Sejanus’s arm. I thank the Peacekeeper and give him a wad of cash before leaving.

 

When Sejanus and I get home, he doesn’t speak to me for hours. The sun begins to nestle into the skyline, disappearing slowly. I had gone to get hot tea and when I got back Sejanus was sat at my window, staring out. I stand behind him, not sure where to begin. “Are we broken up?” I ask.

 

“Yes.” Sejanus says.

 

“Did you know Apicata was still alive, that he worked for Gaul, and that it was his brother who was killed, not him?” I ask. My hands are gripping into the warm cup of tea.

 

“Yes.” Sejanus says again.

 

“Who is he?” I ask.

 

“He is the Speaker of The House.” I drop my mug, hot tea spills onto my feet and I don’t even flinch.

 

“What did you just say?” I ask.

 

“You heard me Corio, he doesn’t go by his old name anymore. Aelianus Claudius, Speaker of The House.” Sejanus says. His voice matches his dazed body language. I feel my face flush with heat and my throat tighten.

 

“Sejanus, you should go.” I finally say.

 

Sejanus stands up and turns to me, he has been crying. “Okay.” He says, then he is walking out of my door.

Chapter 16: Cheater, Cheater, Man Eater

Summary:

"I’ve seen you around with Gaul before.” Aelianus says. His eyes are fixated on my own. I feel my jaw clench when the name falls from his lips. He is in all red, the dark blood kind, a red rose sits snug on the right side of his chest.

Notes:

This is a short one, but i want the following events to be secluded so...

Churning these damn chapters out now that I am free from the shackles of college AND work. Enjoy and pls pls pls pls tell me what you think ;)

I try to sleep and when it doesn’t come easy, I find myself jerking off, biting roughly into my bottom lip. As usual, Sejanus’s body is on my mind. I can hear his whining and breathing as if he’s on top of me. My mind goes blank as I cum and shame washes over me as his name leaves my lips. I pant until my breath has caught up to me and then wipe myself down. I miss him and I hate him for it.

 

Alpheus knew what he was doing saying all of that in front of me. Sejanus once said that Apicata was a lot like me, and he must be right. Because if Apicata is anything like me, he is controlling and deals in absolutes. I sit at my desk and flick the lamp on. If I am to make Alpheus live, then I need a thorough plan. When I begin to write I realize my headspace is elsewhere. I hate that I don’t know what Apicata looks like. I can’t remember. Then it dawns on me that there is a party at the mansion tonight and the host is the President himself. I spring up and find my finest suits. I ask Tigris to find my jewelry, anything that has bling, but not too much. I scrub my face clean and fell my hair so that it combs over instead of the usual messy curls I wear. Once I’m dressed, I take a long look in the mirror. Oh Apicata, or whatever you go by now, I am coming for you.

 

When I step out of the car I head for the stairs. Inside I see everyone who was at the ceremony party. I avoid eye contact with Hilarius who is with Lys, Arachne, and…. Sejanus. Why is he here? I think about going over there and berating him, but I let it go. I find myself upstairs, scanning the room for anyone in Congress or even one of the Senators.

 

“Hi there! I didn’t think I’d see you again after your little request.” I look down and see Penelope Rom. Good enough, I think to myself.

 

“Penelope,” I flash a smile that I hope seems genuine, “I’m look for Aelianus Claudius, have you seen him?” I ask. She’s beaming at me, her eyes trained on my lips as I speak.

 

“I just saw him with my father, he’s on the balcony enjoying a cigar. You should try one, they are the new craze.” She tells me.

 

“Maybe your dad can show me a good one.” I laugh, another disingenuous action. Before she can say something else, I head for one of the many balconies. I figure they must be smoking on the one that doesn’t look out over the city, and I am correct. When I walk through, I see Senator Rom and head for him.

 

“Coriolanus!” Rom drunkenly throws his hands in the air as he greets me.

 

“Senator Rom, it’s so good to see you.” I tell him.

 

“You really have become something you know. Your father would be proud.” He shuts his eyes and nods his head. I am beginning to hate people bringing up my father. He died on me. Leaving me to fix my name, my family, and myself. Still, I respect the man.

 

“Yes, he is missed.” I say.

 

Senator Rom nudges me, “Loosen up boy,” he waves an Avox over and a drink is shoved into my hand, “You’re going to need a drink to survive these next few weeks.” He jokes.

 

I cheers with him and sip the dark red liquid. He takes me with him to take a seat at a round glass table. All these men are who I want to be, and I can’t help but feel pride that they’ve allowed me to sit with them. I’m like some Academy girl who has been invited into the cool kids club. They talk of The Districts, resources, and they even talk about the President. I’ve never heard so many ill things said towards the man before now.

 

“If he wants to control the Districts, he best be careful.” One of the men say.

 

“The Games are good for that,” Senator Rom nods to me. 

 

“In a way, yes. Though, The Games aren’t truly about control. It’s a punishment.” I explain. The men nod in agreement but one doesn’t. Then, he speaks up.

 

“If we wanted to punish the districts, we could just line their young up and shoot them point blank. That’d be a lot less cost effective, I am sure.” He scoffs and downs the whiskey in his hand. The men laugh at his remark, but I don’t even part my lips to give him a fake one. Gaul has said this to me before. Of course, I know that The Games are not all about punishment. This is about humanity and when you show someone how quick they will kill to survive, well they just might too.

 

“Sorry, I’ve never met you, your name is?” I ask innocently.

 

“Aelianus Claudius is my name. I’ve seen you around with Gaul before.” Aelianus says. His eyes are fixated on my own. I feel my jaw clench when the name falls from his lips. He is in all red, the dark blood kind, a red rose sits snug on the right side of his chest.

 

“I like your rose.” I tell Aelianus.

 

“Yes, my family grew them. I kept up the practice.” Aelianus says.

 

“Mine too,” I pat the rose on my chest.

 

“White is quite the color. Rare roses these days and hard to grow.” He puts the cigar he was holding between his lips, lighting the thing. Aelianus is quite gorgeous, blonde but not like me, his hair is golden. His eyes a multi-colored array of blues and greens. “Have you ever had a cigar?” He asks me once he exhales.

 

“No, I don’t smoke.” I say.

 

“You’re a man now, soon you’ll have those district kids blood on your hands. You’ll need a smoke after that.” Aelianus says this in such a tone that no one sitting at the table does anything but laugh. I know he is District, and I know he frowns upon the Capitol much like his ex-lover. How has Sejanus stayed away from him for so long? I wonder who ended things. He passes me a cigar from out of his suit pocket.

 

“This one’s sweet, like an old girl I used to like—tastes like lavender.” Aelianus tells me. Sejanus smells like lavender. I grab the cigar, and Senator Rom shows me how to light the ring as well as inhale. I have smoke before, but I play along.

 

“I hear you’re marrying the Plinth boy, are the rumors true?” Senator Rom asks. I choke on my smoke, coughing wildly. The Senators hand pats my back.

 

He looks around to everyone, “Someone get some whiskey, going to be a long night.” He chuckles.

 

“Sorry, I inhaled wrong.” I say stupidly. “Yes, we are getting married. We just haven’t set a date.” I say.

 

“How’d you find yourself marrying a boy from the Districts?” One of the men asks. I don’t care to know his name right now.

 

“Well Sejanus is bright, and nothing like them. He was second in our class to only me. Of course him being a Plinth helps.” I say, avoiding any eye contact with Aelianus who is on his fourth drink since I sat down.

 

Aelianus coughs and gets up, “I need to head home, Coriolanus, walk me out?” He nods to me. I take the invite, and we walk through the silent halls of the mansion. It is so awkward that I begin to nibble on my lip. Then suddenly I am being slammed against the wall, his grip tight on my suit jacket.

 

“What the fuck are you playing at?” Aelianus yells in my face.

 

“We are quite close, no need to yell.” I say, hoping I sound confident.

 

“I know you and Sejanus aren’t getting married anymore. He still talks to me ya know?” His voice is different now. Much more District compared to how he was speaking before.

 

“Let go of me.” Is all I say. He chuckles and releases me.

 

“You’re an idiot if you think Sejanus is ever going to be anything more than your fuck buddy.” Aelianus tells me.

 

“Who’s that? Because you and him didn’t work out you think we can’t?” I ask. It is a genuine question, of course Aelianus only rolls his eyes.

 

“I’ve heard whispers about how cocky you are but my god you truly do think you’re some sort of god.” He runs a hand through his hair.

 

“I’m not cocky. I- “I try to begin.

 

“Shut up.” He snaps his eyes towards me, “I hate insufferable little shits like you. So wrapped up in their own plan that they don’t see the bigger picture. I’m Speaker of the damn House! You think I got here by being fooled by idiots like yourself? No! I clawed my way through like the animal you Capitol folk think I am.”

 

“And your brother?” I smirk when I say the words.

 

“Dead, like Strabo Plinth wanted.” He tells me. “I’ve seen death, it didn’t bother me when he died but I knew it was a warning from Strabo to stay away from his son. Now I’m warning you.” He steps closer and closer to me until our noses are almost touching. “Stay the fuck away from Aelius.” Aelianus tells me.

 

“And if I don’t?” I ask. He smirks now and then slaps me. My hand flies to the now burning skin on my face.

 

“Watch yourself Snow, I’m no Sejanus.” He walks away after this and when he is out of sight I storm off to find Sejanus. What the fuck? What the actual fuck is going on today?! My thoughts are racing, and I repeat mantras to myself repeatedly to keep calm. Before I know it, I am in front of my main friend group.

 

“Where the fuck is Sejanus?” I ask immediately.

 

Lysistrata’s eyes widen, “What’s wrong?”

 

Arachne slurs out, “I swear I just saw you, some blonde dragged him away. Told us he was going to the bathroom.”

 

“Which bathroom idiot!” I feel myself growing annoyed with drunkenness and I smell like cigar which isn’t helping.

 

“Chill the fuck out Corio,” Hilarius’s face twist as he speaks.

 

“Shut the fuck up! Where is Sejanus? That is all I want to know!” The music is so loud that I find no shame in losing my shit how I am.

 

“They went down the main hall, there are bathrooms there.” Lys says.

 

I snatch Hilarius’s drink from his hand before downing it and storming away. If Sejanus wants to lie to me, talk to Aelianus or Apicata or whatever the fuck that guy’s name is then I’m fucking done. By the time I reach the restrooms I am twenty times more pissed.

 

“Sejanus!” I shout out as I walk into the restroom. “Sejanus come the fuck out right now!” I hear fumbling in one of the stalls and I bang on the door. When it flies open Aelianus walks out, and Sejanus just stands there.

 

“You fucking slut!” I yell out. “I don’t fuck you for one day and you strip for someone else.”

 

“Watch your mouth Snow, so unbecoming of a Head Gamemaker.” Aelianus smirks. I ignore him. I feel my body shaking and I can’t even think straight. Sejanus won’t speak and he hasn’t even moved. His lips are redder than usual, and I begin to realize those lips, my lips, have touched another’s. I beg myself not to cry as we just stare at each other.

 

“Do you love him?” I ask finally.

 

Sejanus looks to Aelianus, “I don’t know.”

 

Rage and despair surge through me. I take a deep breath and nod my head, “Bye Sejanus.”

 

“Corio wait,” he reaches for me, and I step back, “Corio I knew you’d be mad but the last time we spoke you told me to get out.”

 

“So, you cheat on me? What’s wrong with you? Oh! I know! You were raised in a fucking barn!” I yell at him.

 

“Corio please.” He says softly. So soft, in that honey-like voice of his.

 

“It’s Coriolanus, Sejanus.” I walk away, shoulder checking Aelianus on the way out.

 

When I step outside Arachne sits on the stairs gazing at the sky. “Sorry about earlier.” I tell her.

 

“I’m used to you losing your mind every now and then, you aren’t exactly the best tempered person.” Arachne slurs.

 

“You should stop drinking.” I comment.

 

“Or the kindest.” She adds. “So, you and Sejanus?” She asks.

 

“Over. Again.” I sigh, out.

Chapter 17: The Hunger Games

Summary:

I look at him, truly trying to figure out what to say. I hate him, I hate the dumb feelings he overwhelms me with.

The control room for the games is bleak and white with several computers and screens that Academy students pursuing the Gamemaker Career are sat at. I sit a level above them, truly it’s only a few steps, as they type away and arrange bets, water temperatures, and run tests. Lexan is sitting beside me sipping on coffee. My mind is far from The Hunger Games, but I am sure that won’t last long.

 

I get up and don’t bother to courteously excuse myself from Lexan’s presence. Truly, the dude is a nuisance and after last night I don’t need any more of that. The Capitol University allowed us to remodel one of the unused classrooms into the Gamemaker Center. I had little part in the making of it or I wouldn’t have allowed any seat next to the Head Gamemaker. When I’m finally outside of the University I allow myself to take in the cool summer breeze. I take a seat on the steps and shut my eyes. Today, I have the chance to leave my footprint in a way that not even the likes of Aelianus deny my greatness. I have overcome far too many trials and tribulations to allow Sejanus to ruin all I have built.

 

In my thinking I stumble upon Lucy Gray. I haven’t spoken to Gaul since the morning of the ceremony. She seems to be focused on something entirely separate from the games.

 

“I looked for the esteemed Gamemaker in the center, a nice kid named Lexan let me know you stepped out.” The voice rings from behind me. I don’t respond, I don’t even open my eyes.

 

“Sejanus sent me to ask about Alpheus. He said you were avoiding him.” Aelianus says. I don’t need to open my eyes to know it is him. He smells of roses like me. “Me and him aren’t dating, we can’t Corio.”

 

At the mention of my nickname, I feel an overwhelming urge to react. I stay calm, this man is so similar to me it creeps me out. “Sorry, Sejanus has mentioned you don’t like being called that. Your name is just so long though, can’t help it.” He tells me.

 

I can hear a car pull up to the front steps of the University and open my eyes. Gaul steps out, “Aelianus, long time no see.”

 

“Our President keeps me busy, but I did get to meet your new protege.” He grips my shoulder from behind as he talks.

 

“He’s a promising one.” Gaul says. I don’t know what to weight their words are carrying I just know it’s heavy. The way Gaul stands in her all-black lab coat, her hair is more tame than usual, and her eyes unblinking. Her coat flaps in the wind.

 

“The games will begin soon, we should head inside.” I say to Gaul.

 

“It was good seeing you Aelianus.” Gaul says as we walk past him and back into the University.

 

“Heard he was your student once.” I mention to Gaul as we take an elevator to the next floor. Gaul hates stairs.

 

“He was. He preferred politics over science. Couldn’t balance the two so, he left The Hunger Games alone.” Gaul explains.

 

“I see.” I avoid eye contact with her because she reads far too much into me.

 

“I needn’t look in your eyes to know you know who he is. It’s not much of a secret, he needed to change his name if he was going to outrun his brother’s mistakes.” She explains.

 

“What mistakes?” I ask, looking at her now.

 

“Being a rebel.” She smirks.

 

The elevator door slides open, and we make our way to the Gamemaker Center. Everything is ready and finally, the games are about to begin. I take a seat next to Lexan and Gaul goes around the computers making sure everyone is ready. The camera feed flickers on, and I give a genuine smile when I see the 24 podiums, each labeled with a district number.

 

“Ready, Mr. Snow?” One of the Game makers ask. I nod. “In 30…29…28…”

I listen and watch intently as the numbers are counted. Some tributes look terrified, eyes glancing around them as each second ticks by. To them, these 30 seconds must feel like an eternity. Other tributes look hungry for the game to start. Alpheus is crouched in a low position on his podium, and I applaud his balance. His body is leaned forward, focused on the cornucopia. I’ve no plan to help him survive. Sejanus has burned a bridge between us.

 

“5…4…3…2…1” A cannon booms and the 34 children scatter. I lean up in my seat, my eyes trained on the screen. Some don’t leave their podium, too scared to leap into the water. Alpheus reaches the Cornucopia and climbs onto the platform. The boy form District One lunges at him, but Alpheus dodges him. When the kid falls on his stomach Alpheus grips the boys hair, slamming his face into the concrete platform until the District One boy’s body goes slack. Alpheus straps a book bag of who knows what around him and snatches up a long sword along with another book bag.

 

My attention shifts back to the tributes still on the podium, the girl from twelve, the boy from 8, and both tributes from eleven remain on their podiums.

 

“They can’t swim.” Lexan says.

 

“Next time you open your mouth tell me something that isn’t obvious.” I tell him. Easy deaths is what these tributes are. Eventually some of them jump in, using their natural instincts to reach the Cornucopia. This is no use for the District eleven tributes who, when they climb onto the platform, are beheaded by the girl from one. I jump when the swords clashes into the eleven girls neck and then jerks back before driving forward into the boy from eleven.

 

The girl from twelve jumps into the water and I see the perfect opportunity for the use of mutts. “Send one of the eels her way. Once she starts fighting it send the rest.” I tell one of the game makers.

 

When the first eel gets to her, she is close to the shore. If she had the brains she’d keep going, not fight the eel. Of course, she is from twelve, so she kicks and splashes at the animal. When she sees more coming it is almost too late to escape them. She lunged toward the grass, digging her fingers into the mushy soil. Once she’s on the shore I call off the mutts and watch her as she grabs at her bitten-up ankle. I never truly feel bad for the children. Though, something about District twelve girls reminds me of Lucy Gray which makes them tolerable.

 

The boy from eight has been deterred from jumping off the platform at the sight of the eels. I don’t blame him, and I also have no idea how to handle the situation. Seeing a kid teeter like this isn’t exactly entertainment. I step down to the computers, taking a glance at what we have control over. I could bomb his podium, that’s all. So, I do. There is no joy in me when his small yell shouts out and is then cut off by the gushing water and quick fire. There is the hope that Sejanus is watching that he knows I won’t aide in Alpheus living. After a while, sun sets, and Gaul tells me to step out for air.

 

I end up walking to one of the strips of diners nearby the University. I find myself in a small steakhouse, decorated rather quaint. The hostess takes me to a table and when I sit my eyes land on Sejanus. His father is sitting in front of him, and I am grateful the older man cannot see me. Sejanus’s eyes fall on mine, and it feels like the room goes silent. All the noise, all the clatter, it all disappears. I sip on the complimentary wine, and I don’t break eye contact with him as I do. I see the reflection of my tears on the glass that I hold to my lips, and I quickly set my glass down to wipe away at them. Then, a waitress is standing before me, asking me about my order.

 

“Yes uhm, I’ll have the steak, rare, with asparagus only.” I tell her.

 

“The steak comes with other vegetables as well.” She mentions.

 

“Only asparagus, and I’ll have a bottle of whatever wine is in this glass. Send one over to the Plinth’s table from me as well.” I let her know.

 

“Right on it.” When she is finally gone, I shoot up and head to bathroom. I burst through the doors, happy it is empty, and run cold water over my eyes. How foolish do I have to be to sit here and cry over a cheater, a liar, and more importantly a district man. I dry my eyes off and take some deep breaths before walking back to my table. I watch as the waitress drops the bottle off to the Plinth’s. Sejanus looks at me then I see him say something. I bite the inside of my cheek as he rises from his table and heads toward me.

 

“Sejanus,” I smile, masking any hurt or anxiety I feel.

 

“Very kind of you, the bottle that is.” Sejanus snarks.

 

“I’ve always been quite generous. You too except for with different things.” I smirk as I make the insinuation.

 

“Coriolanus,” He sits down in front of me, “Apicata is manipulative. What happened in there, it wasn’t what you saw.”

 

“I’m no fool Sejanus, you’re groveling because you want that shit stain from two to survive. I feel nothing on the matter. If you want him and he wants you, who am I to interfere?” I lean in as I tell him each word slowly so that he feels each word.

 

“I can’t have him!” Sejanus yells. It garners some attention, but he quiets down, “Me and Apicata could never be together.”

 

“And what? You think I’m going to pick up his sloppy seconds? You’re sick, deranged even if you thought I would ever touch you again after he had.” I am seething with anger, and I don’t bother to hear him out. I throw down a few hundred dollars bills, surely overpaying, before leaving the restaurant. Sejanus Plinth, I am praying you die. Because if you don’t, surely, I will. I feel the pain wracking through my body in violent waves, but I don’t allow my body to buckle to them. I clench my chest, inhaling the thick feeling air around me. I feel a hand rest on my back, and I jump away. It’s him. I know it before I turn around and see those soft doe eyes staring at me.

 

“Coriolanus,” He grasps me now, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, I won’t lie again, okay?” Sejanus pleas. I look at him, truly trying to figure out what to say. I hate him, I hate the dumb feelings he overwhelms me with.

 

“You love him, don’t you?” I mumble.

 

“I loved him. There is a difference.” Sejanus tells me.

 

“Then you’ll help me kill him. Because that’s the only way I’ll be with you again. He needs to be dead.” I lock eyes with Sejanus as I tell him.

 

“Coriolanus he is Speaker of- “Sejanus begins.

 

“I don’t care!” I snap. “He hit me, he kissed you, he threatened me and all I’ve worked for. I won’t let it slide.” I tell Sejanus.

 

“And then you’ll marry me? You’ll save Alpheus?” Sejanus asks desperately.

 

“You screwed Alpheus when you kissed that slut Apicata.” I clench my teeth as I tell Sejanus.

 

“Okay, okay. I know you’re mad but Corio this is a boy’s life. He didn’t do anything to you.” Sejanus’s voice switches to that annoying pitch and I notice our dark, secluded surroundings.

 

“Shut up!” I yell at him. “You never shut up Sejanus. It is your life mission to save those who you share nothing with anymore. Alpheus smashed a kids skull into the Cornucopia platform. He is a murderer now, he is what every human is underneath, a killer with no remorse if they get to live! So shut the fuck up, he doesn’t need my saving you groveling little whiny bitch! You wonder why your father hates your fucking guts?! It is because you are weak, you sob over those who signed their death sentence at birth! You sit here and eat fine meats and drink even finer wine, then think you have the right to ridicule those who live the exact same life as you! You are not born special! You work for it, you fight for it tooth and fucking nail until people have no choice but to give you what is yours! The Hunger Games, this Hunger Games, is mine! I took it, I made it better than my father or Highbottom could have imagined and trust me when I say sixty years from now it will bring terror to those district girls and boys. They’ll piss their beds thinking about being chosen to stand before me, First Gamemaker and the President of Panem. I am energy, I don’t die out!” I only realize Sejanus’s shirt is gripped in my hands when I stop talking. His eyes are full of fear and a small part of me wishes I didn’t like it so much.

——————————————————————————————

The weeks fly by after that. Alpheus kills the girl from District One, crowning him the victor of the 11th Hunger Games. I stand by and watch as the President crowns him before the citizens of The Capitol. This was also my idea, to do it here rather than the Districts separates the victor from his or her own people. Sejanus doesn’t answer my calls, and I leave one final message before deciding not to call. I was right, Alpheus didn’t need me to win the games. So, now Sejanus doesn’t need me. I spend days after The Hunger Games curled into my blankets, eating only when the chef begs me to. He is kind, kind like Sejanus. I hate kind. It is Gaul who comes knocking at my door, disappointment flooding her face.

 

“I told you so.” Is all Gaul says, before making me get up and get dressed.

 

We walk around my garden in silence for at least an hour before I speak up, “Why are you here?”

 

“I can’t come visit my promising student. Just because the games are over and schools out doesn’t mean your job is done.” She tells me.

 

“I deserve a break.” I mumble.

 

“Flowers deserve water, in fall they don’t get any and then they die in winter. Maybe flowers should be more worried about what they can get for themselves instead of what they deserve.” Gaul says.

 

“I’m no flower.” I mumble out.

 

“Speak up, I am old.” Gaul says, but I know she can hear me.

 

“I’m no flower.” I say clearer.

 

“You’re acting a lot like one lately. Season have changed and I find you lied down in bed as if you’ve lost all ambition.” Gaul stops walking when she says this.

 

I run a hand through my hair, “Maybe I have.”

 

“You don’t have the luxury of doing so. You won’t become the President acting like this.”

 

“Have you seen Sejanus around?” I ask, ignoring her comment about my dreams.

 

“He left to the Districts. His father asked me to keep an eye on him. I think the boy went to spend time with family. Who knows.” Gaul seems annoyed that I’ve asked about him. I guess Sejanus heeded my words. He won’t be back. He will either die there being a rebel or stay in the victors village with Alpheus. Maybe they’ll drink coffee, eat poorly made bread, and sing rebel songs. Who knows? I shouldn’t care. “Coriolanus, come to the lab tomorrow. Let’s get some work done.” Gaul says, then she is leaving without giving me the chance to decline.

 

Notes:

Time skip is on its way *smirk emoji insert*

Also I am going to fix the formatting, I know the spaces are big. I haven't found an efficient way to keep it consistent.

Chapter 18: Sejanus Plinth

Summary:

He wants to hear the nickname he hated so long ago. Corio.

“You’re gonna need to wow me a lot more to get that out of me.” I tell him. Coriolanus chuckles.

Notes:

This chapter is from Sejanus's point of view, I'm not sure if I will write in his again. I do like that we get to see his view of things because Coriolanus is in lala land half the time. Let me know what you guys think :))

District Two is giving me less worries than I had in the Capitol. Of course, I don’t work, and I wait forever to get my school information shipped out here despite the district being so close to the Capitol. My father told me if I were to go, I still had to complete school. Most days this is no hard task. On days like today, when Alpheus is in and out of sweaty sleep, I don’t get much work done. The Hunger Games have changed him. He is no longer snarky and quick witted, but dull and hateful. His eyes sit sunken in, and he drinks liquor like it is water. It has been almost three years since I’ve set foot in the Capitol. I see Coriolanus on TV a lot these days. He is being broadcasted as the youngest man to ever be suggested to be the President. I hate him. His stupid, skinny face. Coriolanus will become President though, with Ravinstill’s support and Apicata sent off to be the Mayor of District Two, he has no obstacles. I never asked Apicata what happened when I saw him here, dressed in his fine suit and shoes. I just knew. Coriolanus gets rid of those he doesn’t need. Apicata was in his way. Still, I wondered how Coriolanus did it.

 

Surprisingly he never reached out to me. I assume Gaul or my father told him where I was. Many nights I’d wake up from a dream where me and Coriolanus lived together. He would be sitting on our porch in summer shorts and a T-shirt while drinking some cold wine. I would be tending his garden of roses while he watched. Then I would wake up and vomit. Just thinking of Coriolanus truly made me sick. Part of me hated the last words he spoke to me, but I knew they were true. Living in the Capitol made me a hypocrite to the very system I hated. So, I left.

 

 

“I made bread, if you want something to soak all that alcohol up with.” I tell Alpheus. He stares blankly at the table. I’d be a fool to think his mind is as blank as his stare. His hands grip the fine wooden table until his knuckles flush white. He mumbles incoherently until his eyes fill with tears. When the tears fall, he snaps out of it.

 

“Linna!” Alpheus cries out, his head now between his sweaty hands.

 

“You’re home now Alpheus,” I reach a handout to one of his, “You’re safe.”

 

Alpheus sits his head up, as if he has snapped out of something, then shuts his eyes tight as shoves away from the table, storming up the stairs. Before he can make it all the way up and knock on the door shifts both our attentions.

 

“I’ll get it.” I say. I open the door to three men in black.

 

“We are here for the 11th Games Victor. You as well.” One of the men say.

 

“Who sent you?” I ask, knowingly.

 

The three men step to the side and I see an all-white car. It must be new. The shape, the model, the tires, all of it is white. One long pant leg exits the door before it is fully opened. Coriolanus steps out, dripping in crimson. His hair combed over neatly and straightened. I don’t react, knowing how much he likes that. Coriolanus opens his arms in a pathetic ‘Hello my old friend’ gesture. Except we were not friends, we were much more. I wonder how he explained that one away to people.

 

“Sejanus.” Coriolanus says, a pearly white grin plastered on his face. It is for show, everything he does now is for show.

 

“Coriolanus.” I say, “How unpleasant to see you.”

 

“What a rude way to speak to the future President of Panem.” Coriolanus keeps that dumb smile on his face. I begin to think of ways I could wipe it off.

 

He steps inside and when the bodyguards try to come along, I put a handout, “Only him.”

 

Coriolanus looks back to them, “I’ll be fine. This district man is civilized, used to be one of us.” He says, patting my shoulder. Used to be one of us. How demeaning to ever consider me that dumb, that blind as the Capitol citizens are. I shut the door.

 

“Do you want to sit?” I ask, unsure what else to say.

 

“No, I heard fleas litter these areas. Wouldn’t want to bring any back.” Coriolanus explains. I think he is joking but I can’t tell. “I came here for you though so, if sitting rises my chances of you coming with me peacefully then, by any means give me a seat.”

 

“For me? Coming with you?” I scoff.

 

“We never really did break up.” Coriolanus says, taking a seat at the table, I was just at before my whole world got disturbed.

 

“You really are crazy as they say.” I mumble.

 

“Who says that? Surely no one of stature.” Coriolanus quips.

 

“You mean they don’t say it to your face. Very usual for the Capitol citizens.” I say.

 

“Your hatred for your home is so…disgusting.” Coriolanus drags.

 

“My home?” I ask. “I wasn’t born there Coriolanus. I was born here.” I tell him.

 

“Janus, I do not wish to argue. I’m set to be President soon. Hoping to take office before the next games.” Coriolanus explains. The nickname raises the hair on my neck. No one calls me that. In District Two nicknames aren’t common. Most of our names hold meaning and to shorten them unnecessarily is considered rude. Everything is different here and I like it. Hell, I love it.

 

“That’s great.” I say. I’m in the kitchen now, not far from the table he is sat at. I’m making tea because I know this will be a long conversation.

 

“I’d like a cup, with honey if you have it.” Coriolanus says. Then he is walking toward me, his hands behind his back. I think he has gotten taller. I’d be a fool to say he isn’t breathtakingly gorgeous. His blue eyes, blond hair, thin cheeks and lips—they are exactly as I remember them. It isn’t like I haven’t seen him plastered on the screens but seeing him in person is just…well it’s more impactful.

 

I pour money into a small mug then the tea over it. Coriolanus watches me closely as I do so. “Why are you staring? Didn’t your Grandmam teach you better than that.” I ask.

 

“No reason.” Coriolanus says then takes the mug.

 

“Coriolanus, I won’t be coming with you. Back then, when we were younger, I might have. You didn’t even call and-.” Before I can finish Coriolanus slams the mug down on the counter. His anger is still so volatile.

 

“I did! I called you like I gave a fuck about you! You just didn’t answer!” Coriolanus yes through gritted teeth.

 

I put a hand up, trying to calm him. “Not here Coriolanus. Alpheus is jumpy and loud noises don’t help.” I explain.

 

Coriolanus rolls his eyes. He pulls out his handkerchief, wiping up the tea that spilt on his hand. “I need you now. In the Capitol, not here.” He waves his hand around the space, “All past Presidents had a spouse, and I don’t intend on marrying some dumb bitch who can’t hold a conversation with me.” Coriolanus says calmly.

 

“You think I want to marry you still? Coriolanus be serious.” I shake my head. I am truly bewildered by his words.

 

“Sejanus, I’ve only ever loved you.” His words lack any emotion, any truth.

 

“I don’t believe you. To me, you only ever hated me for being everything you wished I wasn’t. You tried to change me. Tried to make me into something you could digest. I’m twenty-fucking-three. You think I’m still hung up over what happened in the past?” I am trying to keep my words kind and calm. It’s hard though. Coriolanus can be so delusional.

 

“Alpheus must go on a Victors tour, he will be accompanied by the Mayor, Apicata. While he is gone how about you come home. We can talk about it at my new place, yeah?” Coriolanus flashed that fraudulent smile again.

 

“Victors what?” I ask.

 

“Sejanus, focus. Home. My house.” Coriolanus drops the smile. He is one of those people who just shouldn’t smile. When he sees I’m not budging he begins to explain. “We are implementing a new segment where the citizens of Panem get to revisit old Victors through various interviews in different Districts until the Victor reaches the Capitol—concluding the tour.”

 

“You’re fucking sick.” I say. The grip on my mug is so tight that I fear I might break the thing. I feel my stomach churning at the thought of Alpheus being dolled up and paraded around. “Alpheus is too unstable.”

 

“We have medicines to help with that. I’m sure his treatment will be even better if you come home. You don’t have to stay. Our old classmates miss you though.” Coriolanus says.

 

I call down Alpheus who, when he sees Coriolanus, loses it. He lunges at the man and for a moment I fear the worst. Yet, all he does is hold Coriolanus tight. Coriolanus doesn’t even blink. The blond isn’t nearly as skinny as he used to be. His frame is full of lean muscle, and he doesn’t stagger.

 

“You should’ve let me die.” Alpheus whispers.

 

“Factually, I never helped you live. You did that all on your own.” Coriolanus responds.

 

Alpheus slowly lets go and then he is on his knees. Screaming, crying, and begging for help. I shove Coriolanus out of the way and fall on the ground to comfort him. Why? Why must Coriolanus bring pain and suffering everywhere he goes? How does someone so beautiful have so much ill intent inside him? The guards come in at the noise and they peel me away to sedate Alpheus.

 

“Coriolanus don’t let them hurt him!” I yell out.

 

Coriolanus kneels to me, wiping the tears from my face, “Shhh, I’d never let that happen. I need him for this tour. District Two is close to us, we should be seen as distant allies. Come home with me, the drive over the mountains is breathtaking.” I am terrified at how easy it is for him to switch back and forth. I hate how easily I fall for it. His hand on my cheek, his words soft and gentle. It’s all a game to him.

 

The view is breathtaking, the mountains curving into each other and the beautiful winter birds. When I see the Capitol, I am reminded of everything I hate. Everyone. The Capitol is far from its war zone look now. Everything has been redone and tidied. Alpheus is dropped off at a lab and I know of I object here, there are consequences. So, I keep my mouth shut, another thing I hate. In the Victors Village we are shut off from everyone, it’s helped Alpheus a lot. There we don’t have to watch what we say and do. We just exist.

 

The driver then stops at my home. I roll my eyes, “I’m not seeing them Coriolanus.” I tell him.

 

“Why not?” He shrugs.

 

“I don’t need them thinking I’m staying here.” I say.

 

“You are, Sejanus.” Coriolanus stares at me blankly.

 

“I didn’t agree to that.” I can hear the shakiness in my voice. Coriolanus terrifies me. The way he speaks, looks, all of it is unnerving. Even his posture is too perfect, too planned out.

 

“Sejanus, I don’t mean any harm. I miss you, that’s all. There’s no need for you to be cramped up in District Two when I’m here. I’ve done what I said I would so long ago.” Coriolanus tells me.

 

I don’t know if it’s the fear in me that kicks in, but I slowly reach for the handle and open the door. I dart towards what I used to call my home and knock like a madman. I turn back to see if Coriolanus has followed. He hasn’t. Can he tell I’m trying to escape him? Am I playing into his game? The door flies open and my mother stands, confusion all over her face. Then sadness.

 

“Sejanus?” She sobs.

 

“Ma, let me in.” I rush to say. She steps aside then…she waves Coriolanus in. He gets out the car and walks up the steps, hugging her.

 

“Ma what the fuck is this?” I ask.

 

“Sejanus, your mouth. I asked Coriolanus to go see you. I heard about the Victors tour and thought maybe the time was right.” She tells me. Her hands clasp on to mine. Yet, I step away, shaking her hands from mine.

 

“I told you why I left, and you still sent him to get me?” I hope she feels the pain in my question.

 

“Sejanus, honey, your father wasn’t a perfect man. Still, we had you and created an empire.” She explains.

 

“Fuck that! Coriolanus is not Pa!” I yell, pointing an accusing finger at the blond man. “Pa loved you for you! I never had that with him and I fucking left! I escaped it and you have him drag me back for what?!” My face is so hot, no, my whole body is hot. Coriolanus must have done something to me because suddenly I am out of breath and the room is spinning. I used to snoop through his desk when we practically lived together. He was obsessed with poisons.

 

I fall to the ground and my heart pounds heavily in my ears. Coriolanus says something but I can’t make it out. I shut my eyes and when I open them, I’m in his home. I can tell because the smell of roses overpowers all my senses. I almost gag because it is so fucking strong.

 

“Sejanus is awake.” I hear a small voice say. It sounds so familiar.

 

“Mason?” I groan out. I get no response and then I am back asleep. When I finally wake up the room is dark. Only the moonlight brightens the area. I walk around until I finally step out of the door. I dart into a bathroom to look at myself. Someone has cleaned me and done my hair. I am dressed in an University t-shirt and black sweatpants. The pants are my old ones. I left them at Coriolanus’s when I went back to the Districts. My mouth is so dry, and I chug sink water until the sensation is gone. I step out of the bathroom and hear voices. Laughs even. Then, I smell food. Chicken maybe? I don’t know but I want some.

 

I walk down the stairs, still feeling somewhat dazed. I am following the smell, and the smell leads me to my least expected surprise. Coriolanus with a wine glass in his hand, Hilarius sitting on a stool at the island, and Arachne sitting on the counter with a wine glass in her hand. When they see me, Arachne is the first to run over. She hugs me tight, as if she missed me. I hug her back after a moment. Hilarius joins our huh and immediately asks me where I’ve been.

 

“District Two, with my cousin.” I explain.

 

“Oh yes, the 11th Victor.” Hilarius says.

 

“His name is Alpheus.” I say.

 

“Yes, Alpheus. He put on quite the show. I’m glad he’s a part of the Victor tour this year.” Hilarius tells me. He is dumber than he used to be. It bothers me. Why the fuck do the Capitol citizens allow themselves to be so blind to cruelty yet consider themselves above it?

 

“Enough of that grim talk. We’ve missed you. Coriolanus here said that you were to be staying for a while. Maybe we can catch up?” Arachne smiles. Hers is genuine. She has never truly hated me. Only misunderstood me.

 

I look to Coriolanus who has yet to say anything. His face is stone, only his eyes are watching me carefully.

 

“Yes, I’d like that Arachne. I know Coriolanus probably invited you all over, but I’d like to just be with him.” I state.

 

“Of course, Hilarius let’s see ourselves out.” Arachne gives me another hug before she is gone. I stare at Coriolanus for a while before stepping in front of him.

 

“Set your wine down.” I tell Coriolanus and he does so. Then I cock my hand back as far I deem necessary and slap him.

 

“What the fuck?!” Coriolanus shouts out.

 

“What did you do to me? Why’d I pass out?” I ask calmly.

 

“You had a panic attack you fucking idiot.” He snaps at me.

 

“There you are, the real Coriolanus Snow. Idiot, fool, scum, trash all your favorite adjectives!” I yell.

 

“I call things as I see them.” He sneers.

 

“What do you want me here for? Please do not lie just be honest.” I ask him.

 

“I’ve never lied to you Sejanus. I let that all go the day I told you about my poor past.” Coriolanus explains as he gets an ice pack for his face. I partially feel bad then remember what he does to 24 children every year and I let the emotion go.

 

“You need me?” I ask.

 

“Always did. Whether it was money, love, sex, or straight up hate. I’ve always needed you.” He tells me.

 

“Snow, I can’t marry you. Watching the games from the Districts is hard enough. Being here, it would be hell for me.” I explain.

 

He steps forward and lifts my sunken head, his lips touch mine and I keep my eyes open. He pulls back, softly grazing a hand over my eyes until they close and kisses me again. My stomach is churning in the best way possible. I’ve missed it. His lips move against mine like liquid, it’s easy. His hands grasp my back until they reach my ass. I groan a bit into the kiss and then I am trying to pull back. Coriolanus doesn’t let go, if anything he holds on tighter.

 

“Snow, please I don’t want to.” I mumble into our messy kiss.

 

“Call me by name Janus.” He says against my lips. I don’t know what he means. We keep kissing until he has me on the counter. Even up here his face is leveled to mine and I see that I was right to think he got taller. He repeats his command and that’s when it clicks. He wants to hear the nickname he hated so long ago. Corio.

 

“You’re gonna need to wow me a lot more to get that out of me.” I tell him. Coriolanus chuckles.

Notes:

My favorite reader said the spacing is fine so if anyone objects they are willing to spar you.

Chapter 19: Connected

Summary:

Sejanus blinks at me then looks away, “Groveling whiny little bitch.” He says.

“Excuse me?” I ask.

~we are back to this evil mfs POV, his name is Coriolanus or something like that~

Notes:

I was at my mans house pretending I didn't have responsibilities sorry for the wait. This is a short one!

Sejanus used to be easy. He reminded me of showers or making my bed up after a rough sleep, he was simple. That’s not how he is anymore. I am standing between his legs with my head dipped down so I can kiss him. Of course he moans into our kisses, but it isn’t enough for me. I want him to be desperate like he used to be. I have a feeling I won’t be getting that out of him though.

 

“Say it.” I mumble breathlessly against his lips.

 

“No.” Sejanus replies.

 

I don’t know what game he is playing, I just know that the nickname would give me pleasure. I reach my hand up from his thighs and grip his neck.

 

“Fucking say it, Sejanus.” I demand. I can feel the muscles in his neck flexing while he attempts to breathe. His kisses become sloppy and wet. “You like it don’t you? Being choked,” I bite into his neck, “Bitten? You always have.” I feel his fingers tap at my hand and I let go of his neck.

 

“Coriolanus, chill.” Sejanus says.

 

“I am calm.” I mean it when I say it. I’m not easily set off like I used to be. Sejanus still gets my body riled up, but I am much more confident and relaxed. Before, my hormones were like fireworks that I didn’t know I sparked.

 

“I really do not want to have sex with you, okay?” Sejanus says. His eyes mean business.

 

“No point really, in sitting here and pretending you still feel the same about me.” I lift Sejanus’s face so that his head is titled toward mine. “I can make you feel like that again though.”

 

“I…. I don’t know Corio. You’re not the same. If anything, you’re worse. Victors Tour? I mean haven’t they suffered enough?” Sejanus drags on.

 

“Sejanus, I couldn’t stop the games now if I wanted to. You know that.” I explain. I step away to pour myself a glass of scotch. Sejanus hops off the counter and wanders around my kitchen.

 

“It’s really too big for someone who can’t cook.” Sejanus says. It isn’t just an observation, it’s an insult.

 

“My chefs love it.” I quip back.

 

“I’m sure their tongueless mouths have told you so.” He says as he hops up onto the counter, I am having my drink at. I give him a sharp look. Avox’s are a touchy subject between us.

 

“So, you really don’t want to get back together?” I ask.

 

“Can Alpheus stay here? Will you stop having Avox’s?” Sejanus asks. I ponder on the idea. On one hand I’d be breaking social laws surrounding the District scum. On the other Alpheus would have already been in the Capitol had his family took the offer.

 

“Sure, why not.” I shrug.

 

“Really?” Sejanus asks.

 

“You’ll marry me?” I ask back.

 

Sejanus stares down at his hands, picking at the side of his nails. “Maybe, I don’t know. Just a day ago I was happy…now I’m…” He shakes his head.

 

“Sejanus when you cheated on me, I was pissed. I didn’t expect to see you that first day of the games and…” I sip my drink before continuing, “I love you, okay? I’ve only ever loved you.” I look to him, wishing for him to say it back.

 

Sejanus blinks at me then looks away, “Groveling whiny little bitch.” He says.

 

“Excuse me?” I ask.

 

“That’s what you called me that night. You weren’t saying you loved me back then.” Sejanus mumbles.

 

“But I did. I did love you. You were pushing my buttons.” I try to explain.

 

“I was asking you to protect Alpheus!” He yells.

 

“He didn’t need my protection!” I snap back.

 

“You don’t know what those games do to people Coriolanus.” Sejanus says.

 

“I don’t care. I never have. They are rich now, they shouldn’t either.” I say.

 

“You’re worse than you were before. Living on your own, where’s Tigris now? I mean come on Coriolanus, you’re not even real.” Sejanus waves his hand up and down, pointing at my body.

 

“Sejanus I am focused. When you’re First Gentlemen you can express all your grievances. Until then, shut the fuck up about what you think of me.” I roll my eyes. Sejanus has this way of getting under my skin in a way no one else can.

 

He scoffs, “You’re mean Snow.”

 

“What did I just say Sejanus?” I ask.

 

“I’m going to my mom’s house for the night.” Sejanus says hopping off the counter. I step in front of him. Maybe I have had too much to drink already. Still, Sejanus looks gorgeous. He has aged nicely, unlike the women in our class. I could devour him if he just let me.

 

“Don’t go. Please, my nights have been lonely. I miss being with you.” I confess. I have read many romance novels with Arachne and Hilarius who insist they are the best new thing, my words now reflect them.

 

“Then no more talk of marriage or the games.” Sejanus demands with a pointed finger. I nod in agreement. He acts as if I brought them up in the first place.

 

I pull out the chicken from the oven. Sejanus cuts it up and makes our plates while I pour wine. I begin to tell him about becoming President, how I had no idea if Ravinstill would support me or not. Sejanus is a good listener. He nods and asks questions when he is supposed to—yet he isn’t robotic like the people I’ve been surrounded with lately. It is relieving to not have to be so careful with my words. With Sejanus I can say whatever.

 

“Gaul is close to retiring, wants me to find someone to handle the lab.” I say.

 

“Who’s your first pick?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Lexan, he has proved himself less annoying over time and more helpful.” I tell him.

 

“That’s shocking.” Sejanus laughs. His laugh freezes time for a moment. I like it. In my age I have found that I hate most things. I don’t know where the hate comes from or if I was always this way. I do know that when Sejanus is around, I don’t feel it so strongly. That’s why I need him. Outside of the obvious aesthetics of a President being married Sejanus makes me happy. I’m sure I’ll need that.

 

I snap out of my trance, “I did really used to hate him,” I laugh but it is forced.

 

“You really should only laugh when you want to, sounds funny.” Sejanus teases. Then I do laugh, genuinely. “See, that’s better.” Sejanus then sips his wine.

 

“I’m drunk I think.” I say.

 

“Yeah? Wanna head to bed?” Sejanus asks.

 

“Want to, wanna isn’t a word.” I feel my tongue catch in my teeth as I try not to slur out the words.

 

“Wanna is a word, proper English isn’t the only kind.” Sejanus tells me.

 

“At the last games, there was this girl Victor her name was Mags or something. She said something similar when I corrected her grammar.” I tell Sejanus. He seems uncomfortable at the mention of a Victor.

 

“What will you do when the Districts decide they don’t want to take their punishment anymore?” He asks suddenly.

 

“Oppression is a powerful thing Sejanus. It’ll take an inextinguishable fire to burn down what is being built.” I explain. Even in my drunk state I know politics.

 

Sejanus nods, thinking over my words, “Some fires are blue, you can’t see them until you feel them.”

 

“Sounds like a threat.” I scoff.

 

“No not at all Mr. President, just a thought. Let’s head to bed, I’m sure you have places to take me tomorrow.” Sejanus stands and grabs our plates. We end up taking our glasses and another bottle of wine to the bedroom.

 

The drunker we get the more comfortable we grow with each other. I feel like a teenager again, sitting around, talking and drinking. We talk about our classmates, old professors, family, and even the time we had a threesome. I still hate that we did that, and I can’t hide it when Sejanus brings it up. He teases me over it, poking my sides. I fold when he touches me. I want more of it. I set my glass down and lean toward his face.

 

“Can I?” I ask. I can feel his breath pick up when I lean in. “Need you badly, Sejanus.” I tell him.

 

I see his eyes glistening and I’m not sure if it’s tears or the moonlight. “I….” Sejanus starts talking but stops. Then his tears fall, lushly down his cheeks. “I’m scared.” He finally says. I have no idea of what, I don’t even care to ask.

 

“Don’t be, you’re safe with me now.” I hope I sound convincing. I’m not lying, not anymore. I yearned for Sejanus too badly while he was gone. I need him.

 

“I want you then. Want you to fix me, make me need you how you need me.” Sejanus says in barely a whisper. I push my lips on to his, shoving him onto his back. Our noses bump and then I turn my head, locking our lips tighter together. I bite at his lips between our kisses and slip my tongue in where I can fit it. His mouth is sweet and warm, so inviting. I pull back to catch my breath and he sits up on his elbows to capture my lips again. Sejanus’s hand grips tightly to the back of my neck. He doesn’t want me to stop, and I don’t want to stop. I groan into the kiss as I begin to feel my pants tighten.

 

Sejanus pulls back from the kiss, “Need you inside me.”

 

“What if I want to make you wait for it, until you’re begging?” I ask, smirking onto his plush lips.

 

“Then I’ll beg.” He says. Since our last time talking, years ago, I’ve taken note that Sejanus’s voice is much deeper. His voice is almost sultry. I bite into his neck, making sure my work leaves a mark before pulling away. Sejanus whines and his hips begin to grind against the leg I have between his legs. This is how I like my Sejanus. Desperate and fumbling with want. I grasp his neck with one of my hands and I use the other to take off his bottoms. The tip of his dick is already dripping with precum, I run my finger over the tip. He hisses at the contact.

 

“Has anyone been touching on you since me?” I ask. I don’t stop jerking him off as I await an answer.

 

“No..ah fuck Coriolanus, feels so good.” Sejanus says, throwing his head back into a pillow.

 

“You sure? You didn’t jump with joy when your favorite boy toy came back to the Districts?” Sejanus shakes his head ‘no’ at my question. “I don’t know Sejanus, my sources told me the two of you had dinner in the Justice Building. That true?” I pull on his dick so that the foreskin goes over his tip then I jerk back down harshly. The moan that leaves his mouth is heavenly.

 

“We did, we did have dinner. It was only that, I-I promise!” Sejanus yells out and grips the hand I have around his dick.

 

“Oh yeah? Did he feed you your favorite poor boy dinner?” I grow angry now for some reason or maybe it’s jealousy. The hand I have of his neck now constricts his airway. Sejanus doesn’t fight it, he only shuts his eyes. His lips part and a gnarly sounding moan squeezes its way out of his throat. His cock twitches in my hand and I start jerking him off again. I want him to know that in no world could Apicata ever make him feel like this. I release his neck and hear him take a deep breath as I lift his leg up. I slide a finger into his hole with no warning. I want no protests, no complaints—I only want him to take all that I give him.

 

“Coriolanus, auuh feels so good.” Sejanus moans out.

 

I finger him faster whilst jerking him off. One finger is sending him into oblivion. His body jerks and grinds down onto my finger until he is spilling cum. I dip my head down and suck his tip until he is shoving my head off. Part of me wants to punish Sejanus for touching me. He has been so good this whole time that I don’t bother.

 

Sejanus cries out as he cums and his eyes roll to the back of his head. “Fuck,” he whines out.

 

I take my bottoms off, not wanting to waste any more time. Sejanus’s orgasm has me at the border of cumming in my pants. I don’t have to tell Sejanus to roll over onto his stomach, he just does so. So perfect for me. I spread his cheeks and spit as close as I can to his hole. I shove Sejanus’s head down into the pillow as I slide inside of him. I go in slowly. If I slide in too quickly, I am sure to cum within the first few thrusts.

 

I don’t know if Sejanus was being true when he said that he did nothing with Apicata. I just know I had not done anything with anyone. I tried to kiss other girls and boys, I always found myself being grossed out. I’m sure it isn’t that I love Sejanus so much that I waited to have him again to go all out. This is obsession.

 

Once I begin thrusting it isn’t only Sejanus making noises. I turn Sejanus’s head so that we can kiss and our moans disappear into each other’s mouths. His hands grip and scratch at the sheets as I relentlessly thrust into him. I can tell by his moans that he is close to cumming and I find myself shutting my eyes tight when the feeling creeps up on me too.

 

For just a moment we both go silent as only our breaths are heard, heavy and full of want. I pull out and sink back into him before spilling my cum as deep as I can. That’s when Sejanus moans again, crying out, “I’m cumming Corio.”

 

I used to hate the nickname but now, well now I can’t help but love when he calls me that. Especially in his older voice. Sejanus pushes his ass back on to me as he cums. It’s enough to send me over the edge. I grip his shoulders as I push myself as deep as I can into him.

 

I feel overwhelmed and then I feel encased in that powerful feeling that I missed when Sejanus was gone. With him beneath me, well I feel I can do anything. I kiss his shuddering back as we both come down from our climax. We fall asleep like this, connected.

 

Notes:

The story is almost over, thank you all for reading so far and giving me so much love. More to come.

Chapter 20: Back to Black

Summary:

“You can touch me Sejanus. I won’t break.” Coriolanus tells me.

This is sick, isn’t it? The way my body moves towards his. The way I shove him into the dirt with all the anger, frustration, and passion he has left me with.

Notes:

hey y’all … how y’all doin’
[typos will be fixed, posted this asap]

Maybe Final Chapter

When I awake Coriolanus’s lengthy body is draped around mine. His head is sitting in the crook of my neck, his breath warms my collar bone. I can feel his morning wood on my back, and I tell myself to leave it be. My eyelids are still heavy so I drift back into sleep.

 

I wake up again to Coriolanus arguing with someone over the phone.

 

“You tell that vermin in Distrct 11 he has one time to get that shit hole ready for the tour or I will personally bomb his home to bits and replace him with someone competent!” Coriolanus yells into the mic. He hangs up then paces around angrily.

 

“Coriolanus what’s going on?” I ask, sitting up.

 

This snaps him out of whatever irritation he was feeling before. “Nothing, just District scum-“ he coughs, “I’m having an issue with the mayor of eleven. It’ll blow over.”

 

I stare at Coriolanus for a moment. He really has shifted. All that anger and evil in him is much more focused than before. I bite my lip thinking of how I’ll get out of this situation.

 

“I should head back to two soon.” I say.

 

“Sejanus. I’m being nice by asking you to stay.” Coriolanus tells me.

 

Oh? I have fallen for the illusion of choice once again. There is never a choice with Coriolanus. Now that I think of it I never even decided to have sex with him the first time we did. He even tricked me then.

 

“Snow, please.” I weakly beg. Coriolanus turns his nose up at the use of his last name.

 

“Sejanus if you want, you can kill yourself. A dead you is the only you I’ll leave alone. Now get dressed, we have lunch with our old classmates.” He says before dipping out of the room.

 

I shower and place on the clothes Coriolanus placed in the bathroom. Once I have the suit on I truly think I can’t do this. Coriolanus always has to mold me into whatever it is he needs at that time. What can I give him outside of public favor right now? I jump when the bathroom door opens abruptly.

 

“The driver is outside waiting.” Coriolanus tells me.

 

I hate his stupid face, but my god is he beautiful. He is snugly dressed in a white vest with an undershirt that matches. The way his shirt snugs tightly to his arms highlights the muscle he has grown. My eyes travel to his torso where I’m met with blood red pants that loosely fit his frame. I meet his eyes and I absolutely loose myself in them. The icy blue shine they hold is amplified by his structured blond curls that have been lightly tamed.

 

“Sejanus? Car.” Coriolanus repeats. I move instantly, brushing past him without saying anything. In the car I have to avoid eye contact as we speak about today’s activities.

 

At lunch I drift off into my own thoughts, something I’ve become used to since being back in the Districts. It isn’t until Lysistrata asks me about University that I snap out of it.

 

“Huh? I mean, yes, it’s been fine. A bit weird doing the work in the Districts, but fine.” I say.

 

Coriolanus has been eyeing me the whole meal and his hand is gripping on my thigh. I can’t run away here so I am unsure where his possessiveness stems from.

 

“I bet the smell is enough to distract you.” Hilarius chimes in.

 

The bunch laugh, but stop when I don’t go along. I guess I have forgotten how to laugh on queue. I sip my water and shove the veggies around on my plate. They all go on talking about Coriolanus’s office running and a giggle slips from me when they begin to speak of his come to power as “democratic”.

 

“Is something funny Sejanus?” Hilarius asks.

 

“No, I just thought of something silly is all.” I say.

 

“Please share.” Hilarius pushes.

 

I look up from my plate. This little shit is insufferable. I see why though. I too would be fuming if I were gay and couldn’t get fucked by a man when I pleased.

 

“Democracy is when the people vote a leader to run their country. The Capitol doesn’t function like that.” I clarify.

 

Just like that, lunch is ruined. Arachne eyes Lysistrata who then eyes Livia who then eyes Coriolanus. I should be concerned about how awkward I’ve made things, but what bothers me more is how Livia eyes Coriolanus. I know that look. Even through her judgmental gaze she is looking at him with want .

 

“He isn’t saying that’s a bad thing.” Coriolanus says then tightens his grip on my thigh.

 

“Yes, I just mean we should use correct terminology to not discredit what we have here in the Capitol.” I say. They hum and nod in agreement.

 

Dumb, they are all dumb. Things in the Capitol have gotten worse. Before of course it was uncanny to speak against the regime. Now it seems impossible. Just what is in the water over here? When lunch is over Arachne pulls me to the side.

 

“Sejanus, what are you doing here?” She asks. Even Arachne has changed with age. We aren’t exactly old enough for plastic surgery and the over doing of makeup, yet here she is with both. Her skin barely moves as she speaks.

 

I know better than to tell Arachne what Coriolanus’s true intentions are. These people may think they are his true friends, but they couldn’t be anything further from that. I’ve only ever seen him true and honest with me. Maybe Lucy Gray Baird. Oh Lucy. She would be so disappointed in me.

 

“Nothing, just visiting Coriolanus.” I say.

 

“Liar. I know when you’re lying because you wait too long to speak.” She smirks. Or she tries to.

 

“Trust me, I’m seeing Coriolanus and going home.” I explain.

 

“You are home. See you around then.” She walks away.

 

I glance around the overly large and decorated restaurant. I am so fucking far from home. Not even Coriolanus’s hand around my waist as we leave comforts me. Why would it? I’m losing it I think. Half of me is so content that for once Coriolanus needs me. Wants me . The other half realizes he has always needed me. It’s just that this time he may need me how I have always needed him.

 

My silence goes unnoticed for a while until we are in Coriolanus’s garden. It has been too long since I’ve seen him in shorts, bent over and digging up the roots of roses. Here he seems somewhat normal. His perfect white skin is tainted by the mud and greenery that sticks. It is symbolic truly.

 

“Quiet today?” Coriolanus asks.

 

I glance around as if we are being watched. Or as if he is speaking to someone else. It’s only us though.

 

“What’s the point of this, Snow?” I ask.

 

He tosses the small shovel and sits on the ground. “I told you I’d bring you to a place like this. A place you can go to see me unraveled after I’m dolled up all day.” He says.

 

No. That’s what I tell myself. Yet I can’t stop myself from saying the next words. “You’re gorgeous unraveled.” I tell him. I can’t help it. I am having flashbacks of our last time time in the garden. Our forbidden touches.

 

“You can touch me Sejanus. I won’t break.” Coriolanus tells me.

 

This is sick, isn’t it? The way my body moves towards his. The way I shove him into the dirt with all the anger, frustration, and passion he has left me with. The way I bit into his sweaty neck and lick at his pink mouth. It’s all sick. Even the way I grip his hair tightly to keep him where I want him. This can’t be normal. Oh, Coriolanus, you tear me apart in ways I hate to see myself. But my god do I love it. I love it so much.

 

Coriolanus lets me take the lead, he lets me part his legs and grope him. He lets me grip his neck firmly while I finger my way into his hole. His moans are fucking ethereal. I can tell he is trying to let himself go for me. His thick blond lashes shut tight as my fingers go deeper.

 

“So good Corio, you’re so good for me.” I whisper to him.

 

He whines and moans out like a baby kitten as I pick up the pace of my fingers. “Please Sejanus.” He pleas through tight teeth.

 

He doesn’t need to beg anymore, I’m here and I’ll take him. I flip him on his stomach. Our sex is always so aggressive. If someone was watching they’d think we hate each other. The way we thrash against the others touch and fight each time we are moved into a position. This view would be a misinterpretation. Coriolanus isn’t someone who likes to take. He wants to fight for what he gets. Then he can say he earned it. I used to think I was different, but Coriolanus taught me taking is boring. Now, earning? That is entertaining. That is this. I’ve earned Coriolanus.

 

As I slide into Coriolanus his fingers dig into the dirt. I’m quick to shove his face into the dirt with his hands. The boys back arches smoothly, bouncing back and forth against my rough thrusts. I lift his head up so I can hear the filthy noises his soft mouth is making.

 

“Such a slut for me Coriolanus. So fucking dirty, look at you.” I hiss in his ear. I back away and begin to thrust harder as I bite at his back.

 

“Sejanus- Ah, oh fuck! It’s so deep!” Coriolanus hollers out to me. I wraps hand around his throat as an anchor while I fuck into him. His garbled moans make my already stone hard dick harder.

 

I flip him around and his hands immediately grasp my shoulders. “I feel so good, please right there!” He begs me.

 

I am drunk on his approval. Wasted on it. I fuck into him harder and faster as his hole spasms around my cock. He is so close to cumming and I’m sure the way I’m relentlessly digging into him isn’t slowing that down. The inside of Coriolanus is as satisfying as the outside and I can’t help but indulge fully. Soon his nails are digging into my shoulders.

 

“Cum for me baby, I know you need it.” I tell him. He does. My god he cums like it’s the first time he ever has. The liquid splatters all over his chest and even lands on his chin. He begs me to keep going. Not that he needs to. I won’t stop until I cum or until he is begging me to. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Coriolanus so unraveled and baring.

 

Coriolanus throws his head back into the dirt, his hair picking up the soil. I kiss at his neck as I fuck into him. My thrusts are becoming needy and sloppy. I can’t help the way my orgasm rips through me. I crush Coriolanus with the weight of my body. His mouth is so close to my ear I hear every ragged breath he takes as I cum in him. I grip his hips so tight, I’m sure I bruise the skinny boy.

 

I keep thrusting until I become overstimulated. I pull out and sit up to see my work. My perfectly white boy has been dirtied. He looks even better this way. I’d never tell him that though. It isn’t long before the guilt washes over me. I lean down and kiss him softly.

 

In this kiss I can tell Coriolanus is done with the show he has put on for me. Truly, Coriolanus must only mimic the emotions he sees others display. That’s an act you can’t play out for too long. I get up and place my clothes on before helping him get his shorts back on.

 

“That was good sex.” Coriolanus laughs out softly.

 

Sex. Right, that’s all that was.

 

“What?” Coriolanus asks.

 

“Sorry I didn’t mean to say that aloud. I should shower.” I begin walking away, but Coriolanus is quick to trail behind me.

 

“Sejanus come on. I didn’t mean it that way.” Coriolanus pleads.

 

“Right.” I let the door into the house close behind me. I hear it swing open and now Coriolanus’s footsteps are heavy with anger. He is so easy to piss off. It should be studied how quick that man goes from calm to absolutely blind with rage.

 

“Don’t you dare walk away from me.” Coriolanus says. I can tell his teeth are clenched.

 

I stop walking and turn to him. “Or what I’ll be grounded?” I scoff.

 

I can see Coriolanus trying to choose his words wisely. It must be so hard being him. He hates any and everything yet he must tolerate it all.

 

“Sejanus I just meant the fuck was good. If I didn’t love you why would I bring you here?” He asks.

 

“I wish I could answer that myself.” I roll my eyes and begin to turn away.

 

Though, Coriolanus isn’t the type to walk away from. I should know that. With one step he is less than inch from me. Grabbing me loosely by my jaw. He towers over me in a way that reminds me just how small I am. I hate it.

 

“Sejanus. You know I mean each word I say. Unless tomorrow morning you’re going to die. You shouldn’t say you’ll be leaving me.” Coriolanus’s voice is laced with something sinister and sweet at the same time.

 

“So, what? You’ll have me killed?” I am growing more and more irritated.

 

Coriolanus runs a lanky finger around my face. “I’d never let someone else have the honor of doing that to you. Trust, it’ll be me who kills you if you leave me. Again .”

 

“You couldn’t if you tried. You’re too Capitol.” I say as I snatch his hand away from my face.

 

Coriolanus shoves me so that I am backed against the nearest wall. I push back, but there is some sick part of me that isn’t fully fighting back.

 

“Let me go.” I grunt out. He does and then snatches my hair up. He shoves me down to my knees and I let it all happen. Yes, I pull away slightly. I grunt in protest. Though Coriolanus knows and I know, I want it. Whatever he has to offer.

 

“Sejanus, I don’t want to have to fix you again. I let you fuck me, be grateful. Show me you’re grateful.” Coriolanus says. His voice is so calm, no anger, only demands.

 

I nod slowly, my head still in Coriolanus’s grip.

 

“Now, let’s shower. We both need it. Tomorrow we go over the wedding plans.” He whispers now.