Chapter Text
Hagrid sat on a weathered trunk outside his hut and put his head in his hands. Just two unicorns remained in the Forbidden Forest. Firenze said they’d been lucky. Lucky? Pah . There had been a herd of more than fifty unicorns in the forest when Dumbledore had first hired him.
According to the centaur, they were too thin. Hagrid had left several arrangements of snowdrops and white roses near their old grazing ground in the forest, but when he returned they were always wilting and untouched. If they weren’t eating, they definitely wouldn’t be breeding. The lack of nutrition would likely kill off any newborns before they were born regardless.
There was nothing for it - he’d have to tell Headmaster Snape. In five years, if they continued like this, the Hogwarts unicorn population would be extinct.
‘Just because you’re a grumpy git, sir, doesn’t mean that I have to be!’
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Granger had only been the new Potions Master for three weeks and already he was regretting his decision to hire her. She knew the material, sure, but her people skills left a lot to be desired. Though he supposed he was hardly one to talk.
Through gritted teeth he replied. ‘If you could restrain your self-righteousness for just a moment, you’d see that I am trying to help you, you stupid girl.’
‘Oh, so now I’m stupid? Brilliant advice from the world’s most biased headmaster.’ Granger huffed and crossed her arms.
It was their weekly staff meeting and Granger had entered the room in a strop, throwing herself dramatically into the nearest chair. Severus had tried to sit in silence to wait for the others, but after the fifth “tsk” from her ungodly mouth he’d ran out of patience. Indulging in her tantrum was yet another regret to add to the growing list.
‘If you could remove the rose-tinted glasses, Professor .’ Severus hoped to remind her of his authority. ‘You’d see that your rambunctious Gryffindors require more than empty threats. Punish them before they have the chance to injure anyone else!’
Little Jessica Brown had been closest to the trio of cauldrons that had exploded in Granger’s classroom. Whether it was negligence or malicious intent that caused the troublesome brats to add the wrong ingredient, he didn’t know. What he did know was that if Granger didn’t add some discipline to her classroom, then the next child would be left with more than just a blistered face to heal.
Granger’s face twisted in an ugly smirk. ‘What, so they can fear me just like they fear you? I’m not the Dark wizard, Snape, you are.’
‘That’s quite enough,’ Minerva interrupted, ‘You’re acting like children, the pair of you.’
Severus hadn’t noticed his deputy enter, nor did he appreciate being berated in front of the rest of the staff (who'd also appeared out of thin air and were eyeing him and Granger with interest). Before he could match Minerva’s disapproving frown with one of his own, Hagrid stumbled in.
‘Sorry, sorry I’m late.’ He knocked over a lamp on the way to his seat. ‘Oops, Fillius you wouldn’t mind? Thank you, you know I’m useless with charms. Right. Have we started then?’
Severus looked to the ceiling for support while Filius fixed the lamp. ‘You’re just in time.’
‘Great, could I start then? I’ve some bad news.’
The room listened in rapt attention as Hagrid described the dire situation with the unicorns.
‘But how could this happen?’ Pomona cut in. ‘We’ve had unicorns on the grounds for centuries!’
‘If I had to hazard a guess,’ Minerva thought aloud, ‘There’s been a greater dark presence in the forest over the last decade. Perhaps the unicorns couldn’t survive in such a hostile environment.’
‘Aye,’ Hagrid agreed, ‘I wouldn’t be surprised, Professor.’
This was bad. Severus' previous fight with Granger forgotten, he immediately considered their options. It was hardly like the entire population would disappear - there were several colonies around the UK and the rest of the world.
However, it could make a serious dent in Hogwarts funding and stores. Unicorn horns were especially useful in minor healing potions, and they’d been able to sell stray hairs to wandmakers in the past. Now, if the worst came to pass, they’d have to buy either the ingredients or potions themselves. It would cut into their budget dramatically.
Alarmingly, there weren’t any viable ideas that came to Severus’ mind. When the rest of the room also weren’t forthcoming in suggestions, they tentatively proposed discussing the topic again at the next meeting.
In the meantime, Severus lazily weighed in on detentions and patrols until the end of the current staff meeting - his mind elsewhere.
To Severus’ never-ending frustration, almost a week had passed and he was still no closer to solving the unicorn conundrum. Every time he’d tried to use the library, the books he’d wanted on the subject had conveniently already been checked out. After the third time of being turned away by Madame Pince, he asked for the name of the person stealing his books.
What a useless venture. Severus certainly wasn’t going to be asking Professor Granger for a favour of all things. If she believed she could solve the problem without him, then so be it.
Only... it was the day before the staff meeting, and he was loath to lose face amongst his colleagues for a second time in as many weeks. Shit. Sucking up his pride, he knocked on the door to the chambers that previously belonged to him.
‘Enter,’ Granger’s voice called from inside.
Steeling himself, Severus strode through the doorway to find Granger’s head buried in the very books he was there to get. ‘I understand a Know-It-All such as yourself requires excessive reading to maintain your status as Most Boring Witch of her age, but others also have need of library books on occasion.’
‘And hello to you too, Headmaster.’ Granger didn’t move from her position behind the tower of books.
‘It’s not a social call, Granger. Surely you’ve finished with those books by now.’
She sighed, ‘You’ll not find anything that isn’t utter flobberworm puss, I’m telling you now. Be my guest.’
Curiosity peaked despite himself, Severus took a step forward. ‘What have you found, then?’
‘Two potions that claim to make unicorns randy: one that will almost certainly kill the drinker and another that might make its bits fall off.’ Granger ticked off on her fingers. ‘One virgin ritual that sounds like an excuse for bestiality if you ask me, and a whole heap of spells that wouldn’t know Latin if it smacked the creators on the arse.’
Severus bit his lip to keep the rising chuckle from escaping. ‘Hold on, go through that again with a bit more detail.’
She humoured him and explained her reasoning, and he was more than happy to agree that the potions and spells were poppycock. The ritual however…
‘I’ve actually heard of this before. Virgins are quite common components of rituals, they have an innate strength that other witches and wizards do not. For a unicorn ritual, something so pure would be necessary. Though I don’t believe it’s what you’re anticipating.’
Granger’s frown lessened slightly though a blush lingered on her cheeks. ‘It literally states “A virgin at the height of pleasure has the power to inspire magical beasts and beings toward a purer path.” - how is it not bestiality?’
‘You’re thinking too black and white, Granger. The forest right now is full of dark magic, and unicorns are pure light magic. For the unicorns to remain comfortable and breed, we need more purity to balance out the dark. Nowhere does it state that the virgin has to find pleasure with the beast to do so.’
The conversation lulled as the pair thought over what a ritual like that would entail. Severus was wary about finding such a virgin that would volunteer for something like that. If he asked the public they’d have all sorts of strange characters fumbling around in the forest - no, best not. However, that only left asking a student. Severus grimaced. It was hardly their best option, but what else was there?
Granger had begun scribbling notes again. ‘Could the virgin complete the ritual alone?’
Severus paused a moment before answering. ‘Normally, I would say yes. However, we’ve not verified the safety of completing the ritual and based on the name I expect we’d need at least two people. Libra Innocentiae - Balance of Innocence. Someone pure and someone darker would likely be necessary.’
‘So, this virgin… and darker individual.’ Granger blushed. ‘They would need to be intimate?’
He wasn’t aware that Granger was such a prude but he wasn’t going to sugarcoat it. ‘Yes, they will have sex, Granger. Though finding a pair like that will be tricky…’
Granger appeared to make the same leaps he had. ‘You can’t ask the students!’ She slammed her palms down on the desk. ‘It’s immoral!’
‘Well, who do you suggest, oh clever one? I can’t very well invite the whole damn wizarding world to fuck in the Forbidden Forest!’
Severus thought he’d won what hadn’t really been an argument, for Granger did look lost as she chewed on her lower lip. It was only when she spoke up next that he understood why.
‘Sir… I- If you need a virgin. Well. I would be available.’