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It all started many, many years ago, back when BTS was still fighting their way forward in the music industry, working so hard they could taste blood. It was back in early 2017, barely a month after winning their first daesang, back when nothing was certain, and everything could slip away if they made one wrong move.
More specifically, it was a late night after a long day in the recording studio, and rap line had once again begged for them to just listen to some music, PLEASE. Yoongi and Namjoon were particularly persistent about the importance of still listening to music, old and new, so as to not get stuck in the same familiar patterns.
And that was how Jungkook stumbled over “3RACHA” on HiphopLE. The group had posted on the notice board, introducing themselves as a hip-hop group that was releasing new songs every other week (which in itself impressed Jungkook). They were begging for someone to listen to them, and receiving next to no feedback. As such, it was with absolutely no expectations that Jungkook followed the link to their SoundCloud.
It really wasn’t Jungkook’s style. It definitely wasn’t what rap line had in mind when they asked them to explore new music. Nevertheless, something about it had caught Jungkook’s interest.
The songs were rough and unrefined. Some of the lyrics were deep and thought-provoking, but some of it was downright cringe-worthy. It had the distinct impression of new artists who were just starting out, still learning. Yet, there was no doubt that the trio had talent. Just the fact that they were self-producing so much music was impressive, but their rap wasn’t half-bad either. Jungkook thought even Yoongi might have been impressed by some of their verses.
Before he knew it, he had listened to their entire discography (which at the time consisted of a measly 8 tracks). He wasn’t even sure if he really liked it yet; he was more fascinated than anything else. Enough so that he thought to himself, eh, why not, and gave them a follow before closing the tab.
He moved on to other groups and artists, browsing on his own as well as listening to recommendations from his members. Soon, the amateur hip-hop group was just one of many artists in the pile. They had no songs on streaming platforms for him to add to his playlists, and his overall impression had been ambivalent at best. Just a few days later, he’d forgotten about them entirely.
That is, though, until he got a notification from SoundCloud two weeks later that 3RACHA had posted two more songs. Jungkook, who’d almost given up on the whole “listen to new music” thing by then, had been inclined to just delete the notification all together, but since he happened to be stuck at the airport at that moment, mindlessly scrolling on his phone while waiting to board, he thought “might as well”, and opened it.
The first one was yet again produced by “CB97”, which Jungkook assumed was one of the members. He had gathered that there were three of them, but he wasn’t sure if it was the one with the raspy voice, the one who rapped at least 10 syllables a second, or the one with the pleasant voice and perfect English. He wondered if the “97” was referring to his year of birth, which would make them the same age.
He put the first track on and was almost taken aback by the rawness of it, used to studio grade mixing and mastering. It wasn’t bad, though. Objectively. He probably wouldn’t put it in a playlist, if given the chance, but it wasn't bad. He still thought that they were good rappers and good singers, even if it.. well. It sounded a bit… amateurish maybe. Which would make sense, all things considered.
He listened to the next track too, which he liked better. It was the sampled one, called Cloud 9. It was catchy, and a bit more digestible than the previous track. About half-way through, he even caught himself nodding along.
After listening to both tracks, he was left wondering why he followed them to begin with. Yeah sure, he’d been a bit more dedicated to the whole “listen to new music” two weeks ago, but there wasn’t anything really remarkable about it.
He ended up going back to the top of the track list, listening to their older tracks again. It wasn’t all bad. Jungkook even recognised some of the tracks he had liked the first time he’d listened. He went back to the forum too, reading some of the notes attached to the releases (though it mostly just made him feel bad about seeing their enthusiasm met with little to no feedback).
The whole thing ended up taking much longer than he’d intended, and before he knew it, the lady on the intercom was announcing that boarding would start shortly. Had it really been that long? Members and staff had started shuffling towards the gate, and Jungkook quickly gathered his things to hurry after them. He shoved his phone down his pocket, figuring that was probably more than enough 3RACHA for a day anyway.
When the notification for another update came two weeks later, Jungkook hadn’t forgotten about them. In fact, he felt oddly invested in an obscure rookie hip-hop group that he’d stumbled across. He didn’t even fight it this time—he simply put in his earplugs and pressed play.
Like promised, 3RACHA had put out another two tracks. The first track, Don Quixote, was once again produced by CB97, who he had gathered was the one whose raps tended to be on the slower side. He could recognise the voices of the two other guys as well. None of them went off on this track though, in line with the more laid back mood of the song. It wasn’t bad, not at all. It was probably one of his favourites so far, at least on a first impression basis.
The next track, the sampled one, was much more upbeat, and Jungkook liked it right off the bat. He vaguely recognised the sample this time, without being able to place it, but if he hadn’t known any better, he’d have thought this was always how the track was meant to be.
When he played the tracks again, it wasn’t because of ambivalence; he had liked them, and he wanted to listen to them again. 3RACHA was undoubtedly improving with every release. In fact, it was probably time for Jungkook to admit that he was genuinely enjoying himself. Even if he wasn’t fully sold on all of their music, there was some sort of thrill to knowing this completely unknown group of aspiring rappers. He was already anticipating their next release.
At the end of April, 3RACHA released “Runner’s High”, and It might have been their best work yet. Jungkook, who by now was unironically becoming a fan, was starting to feel downright bad they were getting so little attraction on their SoundCloud. There had not been a single comment on there for the previous releases, and this one was no different.
He was too shy to post a public comment himself, but he’d been eyeing the email address on their profile before. After a moment of second-guessing himself, he finally clicked it. After all, he knew exactly how discouraging it was to work your ass off, only to get nothing in response.
JK <[email protected]>
To: 3RACHA <[email protected]>
Date: 2017/04/12
Subject: Fighting!
I’ve been following your music for a while, and you’re really talented!
He didn’t sign it and just sent it as it was, not really expecting anything in return. The next day, however, he was surprised to see a reply in his inbox.
3RACHA <[email protected]>
To: JK <[email protected]>
Date: 2017/04/13
Re: Fighting!
Hi, JK! That means the world to us, thank you so much!! We’ll keep working hard!
-CB
He felt surprisingly excited about the reply—more than he’d expected to. He didn’t reply though; there was only so much he could do about his shy nature.
Two weeks later, like clockwork, Jungkook got the notification that 3RACHA had posted again. He was only a little disappointed to see that it wasn’t a new release, just their previous releases compiled into their first EP. Nevertheless, he listened to the EP, and only felt a little bad when he skipped through the song he didn’t like. It was easier to draft another email this time, now that he had already broken the ice.
Date: 2017/04/26
Subject: Congrats!
Congratulations on releasing your first EP!
Date: 2017/04/26
Re: Congrats!
Thank you!! Your support means a lot!
-CB
Two weeks later, 3RACHA was once again back, this time with “Shh” and “Behind the Light”. Jungkook didn’t get a chance to listen right away since dance practice was running late, but in the car back to the dorm, he plugged in his earphones. He had barely finished listening before opening his email.
Feeling unusually bold, he added a question to the email that had been burning on his tongue ever since he first saw CB’s name, and pressed “send”.
Date: 2017/05/10
Subject: 쉿
I liked your new songs! Keep up the work! Do you mind if I ask, are you also born in 97?
Date: 2017/05/10
Re: 쉿
Thank you, JK! We’ll keep working hard!
Yeah, I am! I guess the name gave it away haha.
-CB
Date: 2017/05/10
Re: 쉿
Me too!! We’re same-age friends then!
He continued chatting with CB over the next few weeks. He learnt that CB was the oldest out of the three 3RACHA members, that he produced and arranged their music himself on just his laptop, and that he was originally from Australia.
In turn, he told CB that he was from Busan, that he also was a singer, and had moved to Seoul to pursue music. They kept the conversation simple like that, and Jungkook felt himself get more and more invested in this small, unknown hip-hop group. He kept listening to all of their singles, even writing a few encouraging comments on HiphopLE. CB shared more about their process, which Jungkook took an unexpected interest in. The curiosity translated to BTS’ music too, to the point where Yoongi noticed. He jokingly asked who he should thank for Jungkook’s sudden interest in music production.
But as quickly as it started, his friendship with CB came to a sudden end. He lost contact with him that summer. One day, they were chatting like usual, and the next—radio silence.
He wasn’t concerned at first; it wasn’t unusual for a few days to pass in between their correspondence. Jungkook was busy with the tour, and CB was probably busy with producing or whatever he did when he wasn’t working on music. Not until the bi-monthly mixtape came out and he still didn’t get any reply did he realise that something was wrong.
He couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt. They’d only known each other for a couple of months, but he had thought CB and him were actually becoming friends. Alas, CB never did reply to his last message. And so, Jungkook stopped messaging too.
He didn’t give up on 3RACHA completely though. He kept getting the SoundCloud notifications, and he kept listening to their new tracks, despite feeling oddly betrayed by them—or mainly just CB.
There were other changes that summer too. Around the same time as he lost contact with CB, they posted on the forum that they would be performing live somewhere called the Ugly Junction. Jungkook couldn’t help feeling excited—he almost forgot to be mad!
He kept searching for it, wondering when and where it was gonna be, as if he could go and see them. It was futile; BTS was on tour after all, and even if he had had the time, he didn’t think that he’d be allowed to go there on his own. Still, a boy could dream.
It was during one of these browsing sessions that he noticed the unusual increase in search results for “3RACHA”, which had previously been limited mainly to their SoundCloud, their YouTube channel, the HiphopLE posts and various Sriracha recipes. Suddenly, there were a bunch of articles from various K-pop gossip sites in the mix, with titles like “New JYP Boy Group?” and “Meet The Talented New JYP Trainees!”. Confused and curious, he clicked on one of the articles.
He didn’t know what he had been expecting, but this certainly wasn’t it. He was shocked to realise that the article really was talking about 3RACHA, and how they apparently were a trainee unit under JYP. There were even pictures of them, mentioning all of them by name. The article was speculating whether they were going to debut in JYP’s new boy group.
He couldn’t believe it. They were idol trainees. They weren’t some random teenagers shooting their shot on the internet; they were actual JYP trainees, closer than Jungkook could have ever imagined. They probably knew BamBam and Yugyeom, maybe even trained with them. If he wanted to, he could probably even meet them. He probably would meet them, if they made it. Jungkook had no doubt they would if 3RACHA were involved.
It felt like two worlds colliding. 3RACHA had been his secret, his little group of aspiring rappers, and suddenly, hundreds of people were talking about them.
He wondered if this was the reason CB—or Chan, as his real name was—had disappeared. Maybe people had realised that 3RACHA were idol trainees, and so the company hadn’t wanted them to talk to possible fans or sasaengs. Maybe CB hadn’t just ghosted him, maybe the company had forbidden it! Yeah, Jungkook liked the sound of that. It was probably just wishful thinking, but he could already feel himself letting go of some of the bitterness.
Videos from the Ugly Junction(1)(2)(3) did eventually start popping up on YouTube, and Jungkook was pleased to see that people were talking about them in the comment section. They were asking if they were really JYP trainees, and praising them for how talented they were at such a young age. Even if he now suddenly had to share 3RACHA with the rest of the world, he liked to see them finally get the recognition they deserved.
By the end of July, he had probably watched the videos ten times over. They had only been doing this for half a year by then, but their stage presence was no joke. They looked cool and confident, and they rapped just as well live as they had on the mixtapes. They were witty too, making the crowd laugh and cheer. Jungkook screamed almost as loud as the woman in the audience when Chan called her pretty.
Barely a few weeks later, JYP Entertainment announced their new boy group project, and sure enough, all of the 3RACHA members were included. They were launching a new survival show, just like with Twice, that was due to air later that autumn. Jungkook didn’t watch it, if only for the lack of time.
He continued listening to the bimonthly releases, though, because he was far too deep in to give them up now. Despite preparing for and shooting a TV show, 3RACHA continued releasing music like clockwork, though two songs became one as the sampled tracks disappeared. He would have felt bummed about it, if every single song they released that autumn hadn’t beena banger—he couldn’t even complain. It was crazy how far they had come from those very first mixtapes.
By the end of the year, JYP’s newest boy group was confirmed—Stray Kids, led by none other than Chan himself. A month later, 3RACHA’s final release came out, exactly one year after their first one. It was as much of a goodbye as it was a promise.
The first time Jungkook met Chan was at the 2019 Golden Disc Awards. Well, “meet” was probably a bit generous, because while they did pass each other in the hallway before the show, they exchanged a total of three words. Chan was bowing profusely, and Jungkook stuttered his way through something akin to a greeting, before promptly fleeing the scene.
It wasn’t exactly how he had pictured their first meeting, and it took him entirely off-guard. Despite being infamously shy, after over five years in the industry Jungkook liked to think he had a better grip on himself than that. Apparently not.
It was day 2 of the award show when Stray Kids finally did their stages. Jungkook had really been looking forward to it; he had never seen Chan’s group on stage in person before.
“Oh shit, isn’t that Minho?” Hoseok asked during Stay Kids’ main stage, when the presumed Minho was dancing with a young boy. They were mirroring each other in a door frame.
“Who?” said Yoongi.
““He was a back-up dancer during the Wings Tours,” Hoseok said excitedly. “He said he was auditioning to become an idol, looks like he made it!”
Yoongi looked a little lost. The rest of them weren’t paying attention to them, focused on the stage. Jungkook for his part didn’t remember any of the back-up dancers, as he had always been too shy to ever talk to any of them.
Something occurred to him. “Wait, Wings Tour?” Jungkook suddenly said. But that was in 2017. That was when Stray Kids were doing the survival program. Minho must have just become a trainee by then.
“Yeah. How so?” Hoseok asked.
Jungkook shook his head. “It’s just a coincidence. Do you guys remember the hip-hop group I followed back then?” Hoseok nods. Even Yoongi seemed to show some signs of recognition. “Their name was 3RACHA, and apparently, they were JYP trainees. All of them are in Stray Kids, and they make all of their music. And to think that at the same time, one of their future members was dancing with us.”
“They make all of their own music?” Yoongi asked, looking mildly impressed.
Jungkook nodded eagerly, feeling oddly proud on their behalf. It wasn’t like he knew any of them, even though he briefly used to message Chan years ago. Maybe it was just the validation of Yoongi approving of something he liked. In any case, he felt good.
He didn’t get to elaborate, as Minho’s solo performance with the boy ended, and the conversation fizzled out. Stray Kids went on to perform “I am YOU” as a full team, a song Jungkook remembered from one of their mini albums. Chan started singing, and soon Jungkook forgot about their conversation too.
It was not like Jungkook had forgotten about Stray Kids. He had watched their debut stage, had listened to some of their albums, and on a rainy day, he would even pull up 3RACHA on SoundCloud for old times sake. That was about all he did though—during 2018, Jungkook had had more than enough keeping up with himself and his own group. (But the less said about that, the better.)
Seeing them perform live definitively breathed new life into his obsession, though. Enough so that he ended up asking about them the next time he met up with Yugyeom and Bambam. Well, he asked about Chan, but same thing.
“As in Bang Chan, our Chris?” Bambam asked.
Jungkook nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed all of the sudden. It was just the three of them out of the 97 liners this time, with SEVENTEEN and NCT both off on tour, and Eunwoo busy with a group schedule. (Well, BTS was also in the middle of a tour, but he was in Korea for the next few weeks due to domestic schedules). It was a bit easier to work up the courage to ask when it was just them, but he still felt pretty shy about it.
“I actually don’t see him that much,” Bambam continued, clearly displeased about this fact. “He’s a total workaholic.”
“Don’t say it like that,” Yugyeom said disapprovingly. He turned to Jungkook. “He works really hard. I mean, we all do, but Chan works a lot.”
“It’s unhealthy,” Bambam shot in, which Yugyeom ignored.
“Did you know he was a trainee for seven years?” he continued. “He joined around the same time we did. He has a lot to prove.”
Jungkook stared at him in shock. Seven years was a very long time. Jungkook’s two years of being a trainee had felt like forever. The endless hours in the practice room, the constant fear of not doing well enough. Sure, it was a little different for him, with the added fear of not knowing if their company would even make it, but seven years was still a long time to endure. It only made Jungkook’s respect for him grow.
“Aw, why are you looking like that,” Bambam said. “He made it, didn’t he? They even had their first win recently.”
This was news to him. “They did?”
“Yeah, with ‘MIROH’ at M Countdown last week. As they should, that song is a masterpiece. Dunno how they do it.”
Jungkook wholeheartedly agreed with that. He had listened to it when it was released, and it completely blew him away. Like most of Stray Kids’ music, it wasn’t something he’d usually listen to, but Stray Kids was always his exception.
“How do you know Chris, anyway?” Yugyeom asked.
“Oh, um. Well, ‘know’ probably isn’t the right word,” Jungkook answered, feeling his cheeks heat up again. “I’ve just been listening to their music a lot.” No reason to get into his long-standing obsession with 3RACHA.
“That’s cool! They really deserve the recognition. This was kind of a trial project for JYP, and they haven’t been getting proper funding or promotion. They’ve been having a hard time,” Bambam said.
“What? Why?”
He shrugged. “I guess their music isn’t for everybody. It’s not exactly what you’d call ‘mainstream’. Not to mention that they’re making all of their own music. PD-nim isn’t as involved with them as he was with us, so they’re basically doing this on their own.”
None of that was bad, though, Jungkook thought. If anything, that was the exact same reason for why they were popular—Stray Kids was bringing something new to K-pop, and they were showing their own colours, not just a concept chosen by the company. He understood the struggle though. Jungkook has had first-hand experience with getting hate for going against the stream.
“Hey, why don’t we invite Chris next time?” Bambam suddenly said. “You could meet him!”
Oh hell no, absolutely not, was Jungkook’s initial reaction. That would be a disaster, he could already see it. His face flamed up just at the thought. Meeting Bang Chan? Jungkook would die.
“Oh yeah, we should!” Yugueom said. He turned to Jungkook again. “He is 97 line too, you know.”
Jungkook didn’t need the reminder. It was one of the reasons he was so taken with Bang Chan in particular—they were both 97, maknae and leader in their respective groups. He seemed both older and younger in a way. Chan seemed so sure of himself whenever Jungkook saw him, always speaking with confidence, leading the conversation. Jungkook couldn’t imagine ever doing that. It was crazy that someone his age could be a leader already, even though he logically knew that Chan wasn’t the first—hell, Namjoon had been even younger when they debuted. At the same time, Jungkook had been doing this for six years already, and Chan, someone his exact age, was barely a year into his career. It was a strange thought.
He didn’t end up meeting Chan any time soon. Maybe he was busy, or maybe Bambam and Yugyeom never got around to inviting him at all. In any case, he never showed up to any of the 97s gatherings. Jungkook didn’t know whether to be grateful or disappointed.
Soon, though, there was no meeting anyone at all. In 2020 the pandemic hit, and almost every schedule was cancelled, which meant no fans, no co-workers, and definitely no friends. He had never been more grateful for living in a dorm. The first few weeks, the members were the only people he had real face-to-face contact with.
This also gave him an unheard of amount of spare time. In the beginning, he didn’t even know what to do with himself.
While he was grateful for living in a dorm, he was also grateful for having his own room. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to spending every waking moment with the members, but there was a difference between working together and being trapped inside together. Which meant that he also spent a lot of time locked in his room. He probably watched more Netflix in a week than he had the past few years combined.
He also fell down a YouTube rabbit hole. It was completely accidental. Really. Definitely. It just started out with a few Stray Kids music videos—harmless!—but it ended up with watching fan edits at 3 AM. Yeah, not his proudest moment.
This was also how he found Channie’s Room, Chan’s weekly live show on VLive, where he talked to STAY and recommended music. There were already 50 episodes to binge-watch between digital schedules, or even during. If Jungkook had been lowkey smitten before, he was full-on obsessed now. Chan was literally the most adorable human being, and that was probably not something you were supposed to think about an idol your age that you had never met before.
At the end of April, Chan played “Euphoria”, and after recovering from the shock of their worlds once again colliding like that, Jungkook was giggling alone in his room like a little school girl. Chan liked his song! Chan was so sincere when he was praising the song, and Jungkook was so filled with butterflies, you’d think he had a crush. Hah.
Anyway.
The rest of 2020 felt like a fever dream. The tentative plans for military service were pushed back, and they continued to release music. Their success reached new heights internationally with “Dynamite”, a release that broke several records. To go through all that without being allowed to see ARMY felt very conflicting.
There were new experiences and trials, like zoom interviews and remote talk show appearances. Jungkook, already not very fond of interview situations, especially not English-speaking ones, was having a hard time with it. He could never get used to it.
The corona constrictions did eventually lift enough that they could see more people. Meeting their fans was still completely off the table, but at least they could go see their family and visit friends again. Even Jungkook, who was painfully used to not seeing his family for extended periods of time due to his career, almost cried when he got to go home for the first time.
They didn’t have any big meet-up with the 97s because of the limited number of people allowed in one gathering, but he did meet up with Mingyu one-on-one a few times. After practically being locked in the dorm with his members, seeing someone else was a relief beyond measure.
With no real opportunity to meet again, he continued to keep up with Chan from afar. Stray Kids was also gaining popularity, especially after Kingdom: Legendary War, which really helped showcase how talented the group was. Even Jungkook got a new appreciation for them as a whole beyond his isolated infatuation with Chan.
The pandemic persisted beyond what any of them could have imagined, but they made it through. At some point, the restrictions were lifted enough for them to actually see their fans again, to travel, and to meet up with a few more people at a time. It was a relief to see his friends more regularly (or at least as regularly as was possible between a group of idols), even for an introvert like him.
It was around this time that Jungkook met Chan—properly met him—for the first time. There was still a 10-person restriction for how many people were allowed at private gatherings, but they were still well within those parameters. Jaehyun, Eunwoo and Myungho couldn’t make it, so it was just him, Mingyu, Seokmin and the GOT7 duo. And, well, Bang Chan.
He did a 180 turn out of the living room the moment he saw him, dragging Bambam with him out into the hallway.
“You didn’t tell me Bang Chan was gonna be here,” he hissed. They were at Bambam’s; it was easier since he was the only one without roommates.
“Dude, yes I did. You just literally don’t check the group chat,” Bambam said, offended.
Jungkook didn’t really have a retort to that, because it was true—Bambam had called him personally to make sure he had seen the invitation. (He hadn’t).
“But, but—” he stuttered instead, in what was bound to be a very undignified manner.
Bambam just snorted. “Come on, you’ll be fine, you can handle your crush for an evening. Besides, didn’t you want to meet him?” he said, and dragged Jungkookback into the living room.
“It’s not a crush,” he whispered angrily, but before he got to say anything more in his defence, they were back in the living room, and Jungkook had to face his fears. A very handsome fear.
The fear in question immediately got up on his feet when he saw him, falling into a bow while greeting him as “Jungkook-sunbaenim”. Jungkook felt his whole face heat up. He stuttered out a greeting too, and bowed just as deep as Chan. The awkwardness in the room was almost tangible. Jungkook made the mistake of making eye-contact with Bambam, who was silently laughing at him.
“Um, uh, we’re all friends here. Let’s just be casual, yeah?” he said.
“Oh, yes, I mean, yeah, of course,” Chan said.
Jungkook sat down next to Mingyu, who was looking questioningly at him. Jungkook pointedly didn’t meet his gaze, embarrassed enough as it was.
“You guys haven’t met before?” Seokmin asked.
“No, we have, at the Golden Disc Award in 2019,” Jungkook said without thinking. “I mean, no, not really. We just passed each other in the hallway.”
“You remember that?” Chan asked surprised.
Jungkook was sure his ears were flaming red. “Yeah, of course,” he replied.
Mingyu chose this exact moment to shoot in, “Jungkook is a fan, right Jungkook?”, and seriously curse him for being so innocent about it. What did Jungkook ever do to deserve this?
Chan just stared at him with huge eyes. Jungkook felt like he might die of mortification.
“Your music is great,” he choked out, and desperately hoped that would be the end of it.
Even Chan seemed a little flustered. “Oh, thank you so much. That means a lot coming from you,” he said. “I’ve looked up to you guys for years.”
Jungkook’s whole face must have been red as a tomato at that point. “Thank you,” he managed, which probably wasn’t the appropriate thing to say, but it was all he could do.
An awkward silence followed, and Jungkook almost sagged down in relief as Seokmin took back the lead of the conversation again. Mingyu looked confused for a moment, before joining in, while Bambam smirked at him from the other end of the couch, which Jungkook chose to ignore.
It didn’t take long for Chan to join the conversation too, quickly opening up as the evening went on. He was just as charming and friendly as in lives or videos. Jungkook tried not to stare too much at him, but it was proving to be a challenge.
He didn’t seem uncomfortable with the others like he had with Jungkook. Jungkook wondered if it was because of BTS, or just simply because they’d never talked before. In any case, he felt oddly jealous of the rest of the guys. He shouldn’t compare himself to Bambam or Yugyeom, of course, who Chan had known for over a decade, but even Mingyu and Seokmin seemed closer to him. Despite Chan being the newcomer, Jungkook suddenly felt like the odd one out.
He compensated by downing a few bottles of soju—liquid courage and all that. Chan might not drink, but Jungkook had no such qualms. After a few bottles of soju, he soon forgot to be so nervous around Chan. The problem was just that he also forgot that it was impolite (and embarrassing) to stare.
He got himself home at some point much later that night, and when he woke up the next day, he had hangxiety of the ages.
It was 2 PM by the time he woke up, which was a completely reasonable time to call someone.
“Hello?” Mingyu said when he picked up.
“Mingyu,” Jungkook said, hoping he didn’t sound as frantic as he felt. “Um. How are you doing?”
“‘How am I?’ Really? What do you want?”
Jungkook bit his lip. “You know the party yesterday…” It hadn’t really meant to be a party, but it kinda felt like it. “Did I do anything…?”
“Dude, how much did you drink?”
“Not that much!! I just—did I, like, say anything weird?”
“You need to be a bit more specific.”
Jungkook had hoped he could avoid that, but there didn’t seem to be any way around it. Fuck it, he might as well spill the beans. He had already embarrassed himself. “To Chan, I mean,” he said.
“Oh, right.” Mingyu paused for a moment. “Not weird, I guess, but you were looking at him, like a lot. I think he was a bit worried he did something. What was up with that?”
Jungkook groaned. “This is awful.”
“Come on, it’s not that bad. What is it? Tell me.”
“I just like him! NOT—like that,” he quickly added. “I guess I was just a little starstruck…” he finally admitted.
Mingyu burst out laughing.
“Stop it,” Jungkook complained. “This is serious!”
Mingyu ignored him. “Oh my god, you were fanboying!” he laughed.
Jungkook pouted, but it was okay, because Mingyu couldn’t see him.
“You should have just told him!” Mingyu continued. “He clearly likes you too! You could have bonded over a mutual interest in each other. Make friends with him!”
There was literally nothing Jungkook wanted more, but he was also way too shy to ever make that a reality. He felt his face heat up just at the thought.
“It’s never gonna happen,” he said.
“Why not? I know you’re shy, but he’s literally so nice,” Mingyu said, sounding way too excited about this whole thing. “You’re probably gonna see him more anyway, he’s already in the group chat.”
“Don’t remind me…”
“Come on, that’s just mean,” Mingyu said.
“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Jungkook complained. “I’ve already embarrassed myself, I’m just gonna make it worse. He’ll think I’m weird!”
“You are a bit weird,” Mingyu shot in.
“Mingyu! Not helping!”
Mingyu giggled. “Sorry, sorry. But I need to go now, we have practice later.”
Jungkook sighed. “Okay, talk to you later.”
They hung up, and Jungkook turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling. He laid like that for a long while, before deciding that dwelling on it would only make it worse.
When he made his way outside, most of the guys were already up.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you went out last night,” Hoseok said in lieu of greeting. “You were plastered when you got back.”
Jungkook groaned, already regretting getting out of bed. “Leave me alone.”
Hoseok put up his hand in a ‘backing up’ motion, laughing brightly. “We’re going to the studio in a bit, wanna come with?”
“Yeah, might as well,” Jungkook sighed. “Just let me get some breakfast.”
A lot changed for Jungkook in 2022. For one, BTS moved out of the dorms, which meant that Jungkook would be living alone for the first time ever. The thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.
The corona restrictions were also slowly loosening up, which meant in-person schedules and actual real concerts, which Jungkook was beyond excited about. It also meant that he got to see his friends on a more regular basis. Jungkook had never been what you could call a social butterfly, but even he felt lonely locked up at home.
Despite this, Jungkook didn’t actually see Chan that much more. He was a notorious workaholic, busy even for an idol, and rarely to be seen at group outings. Jungkook wasn’t sure to be relieved or disappointed.
They did see each other occasionally. It was easier to be with Chan in a group setting. He worked really hard to keep the staring to a minimum, and he had been doing pretty good so far. Well, at least he thought he had.
They were at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s place when both him and Chan got up to get something more to drink. He got a beer from the fridge as Chan filled his soda with ice. He was about to leave when Chan suddenly said: “Um, Jungkook? Do you have a moment?”
Jungkook stopped in his tracks. “Yeah, of course,” he said as calmly as he could, even as his heart sped up.
Chan hesitated. “Did I do something?” he asked.
Jungkook froze. “What do you mean?” he asked, begging to god that he didn’t mean what Jungkook thought he meant.
“I don’t know… I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me?” he said hesitantly. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable or anything.”
He looked genuinely worried, and Jungkook felt absolutely miserable.
“No, not at all!” he said. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, it’s me who’s been weird.” He felt his stomach drop at the thought of making Chan feel like he did something wrong. Fuck, what could he say to make it right again?
“I really meant it when I said I liked your music,” he said. “I’m sorry I’ve been weird. I’m a fan, and I was trying so hard not to make it weird, I just made it even worse.”
He hadn’t really planned on admitting that, but Chan looked visibly relieved, so he would count it as a win.
“Really?” Chan said. He averted his gaze before adding: “I was worried— no, it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad.” He looked up again. “Are you really a fan?”
“Yeah, why would I lie about that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just— I’ve looked up to BTS for so long, so it feels a bit unreal that you like our music too.”
Well, Jungkook could certainly relate to that. Seeing Chan react to “Euphoria” was wild.
They stood in silence for a moment, before Chan spoke again. “You know, I actually thought Bam and Yugyeom were joking when they said you asked about me, like, years ago.”
“Oh my god, they told you??” Jungkook asked, only a little bit panicked. “What did they say?”
Chan chuckled. “Don’t worry, nothing bad. I didn’t believe them anyway. Like, why would you be asking about me?” His tone was rhetorical, but he still looked quizzically at Jungkook.
“No, I really did. This is a bit embarrassing,” he started, and he could already feel his ears turn red. “I’ve actually been watching you for years. Like, since 2017. I was just too shy to say hi.”
Chan’s jaw fell open in genuine shock. And because Jungkook clearly couldn’t control himself, he continued. “Well, that’s not strictly true, I did send those emails. Don’t know if that counts.”
“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Email? You were JK? No fucking way,” Chan said in disbelief. “What the fuck.”
“Wait, how did you know?”
Chan hid his face in his hands with an embarrassed whine. “You were like the only person who ever used that email up until the survival show was announced. God, I can’t believe you listened to all that, it’s so bad.” He put his hands down again. “How did you even find us?”
“I don’t even remember,” Jungkook said. It was so long ago. “I just remember Yoongi-hyung begging us to listen to some new music, and I did for once.”
“Really? But like, why 3RACHA? Some of it was, like, actually so bad.”
Jungkook laughed. “I mean, yeah… But some of it was really good. I was intrigued.”
“This is insane. I can’t believe Jungkook of BTS was listening to my music before we even debuted,” Chan said, still looking flabbergasted.
Jungkook blushed, unsure how to respond to that. “I’m really sorry I was being so weird about it,” he said instead. And then, in a moment of unexpected boldness, he added: “Could I buy you a coffee to make up for it?”
“Oh, you don’t need to, I really don’t mind,” Chan said, wide-eyed.
“But I want to,” Jungkook said. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to, but it would be my pleasure.”
“No, of course, I would love to! I don’t drink coffee, but I would love to meet up sometime!”
Jungkook couldn’t help his wide smile at that. “Great! That’s great. I’m looking forward to it!”
Chan smiled back, showing both his dimples. “Great, me too.”
When none of them said anything for a moment, Chan said: “Um, should we go back?”
“Right, yeah,” Jungkook replied, and they went back to the living room where the rest of the guys were chatting loudly.
It was only after sitting down again he realised he forgot his beer.
“Mingyu, I have a problem,” Jungkook said the next time Mingyu visited.
“Hm?” Mingyu said from where he was comfortably curled up on the sofa, nose in his phone.
“Mingyu.”
Mingyu looked up. “Yeah?”
“I have a problem.”
“You said as much.”
“You weren’t listening.”
Mingyu rolled his eyes, but he put away his phone nonetheless, sitting up and looking straight at him. “You have my undivided attention,” he said in an exaggerated manner.
Jungkook shifted uncomfortably under Mingyu’s sudden stare. Maybe it would have been better if he was still engrossed in his phone. Well, too late for that. He might as well just rip off the bandaid, “I have a crush.”
“What? On who?” Mingyu asked surprised, and for a moment, Jungkook cursed his obliviousness. Maybe he should have just sucked it up and talked to Bambam. He would have known right away, even if he would have been a nuisance about it.
“Chan,” Jungkook said sourly.
“Chan? Our Channie? Lee Chan??” Mingyu said incredulously.
“NO! Bang Chan, Stray Kids’ Bang Chan, god,” Jungkook stressed.
“Good, you stay away from our maknae!”
“Doesn’t matter, wrong Chan!”
Mingyu seemed content with this for a moment, until the implications of it caught up to him. “Wait, you have a crush on Bang Chan?”
“Is it not glaringly obvious?”
Mingyu stared for a moment, until understanding washed over his face. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. It is glaringly obvious.”
Jungkook groaned. “Do you think he knows?”
To Mingyu’s credit, he seemed to genuinely think about it for a moment before he replied: “I don’t know. Maybe?”
It did absolutely nothing to soothe him. “What do I do?”
“Just tell him, man,” Mingyu said with a shrug.
“No.”
“’No’? Why not?”
“It’s embarrassing. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he’s straight?”
“I sincerely doubt that, but even if he was, worst case scenario, he says no, and you move on. Chan is a nice guy, he wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“But it would be embarrassing. And awkward.”
Mingyu shrugged. “You win some, you lose some. You’d get over it.”
“You’re no help at all.”
“Dude, what do you want me to say then? ‘Stay away from him’? I think you should go for it.”
Jungkook honestly wasn’t sure what he wanted. The thought of confessing was nerve-wracking, but he absolutely didn’t want to stay away from him either.
“You want a drink?” he said instead.
Mingyu laughed. “That bad, huh?”
“Shut up,” Jungkook grumbled.
“Sure.”
Jungkook wasn’t sure where to invite Chan. He could invite him to his apartment, but that was probably a little too intimate for a first meeting one-on-one, and he felt awkward just thinking about it. He didn’t particularly want to meet in public either for the lack of privacy. There was always the company, but that felt a little too impersonal—it wasn’t a business meeting, after all.
He ended up reserving a room at a café he’d been to once before on a date. The date itself hadn’t worked out, but the café had been nice and the privacy adequate.
Not that this was a date. (A boy could dream).
They met at the café when there was a gap in Chan’s schedule. Jungkook’s own schedule had been distressingly empty ever since the members started enlisting, but it did make him a lot more flexible.
Jungkook got there first. He ordered a coffee for himself, and a coke for Chan. He felt oddly nervous, as if he really was going on a first date (it wasn’t a date, stop it!).
Chan showed up soon after. “Hello,” he said politely, and Jungkook greeted him back in the same manner. Chan sat down, and none of them said something for a moment.
Off to an awkward start. But no matter, he could work with this.
“I got you a coke,” he said, pushing the drink in Chan’s direction. “I didn’t know what you liked.”
“Oh! Thank you, a coke is good,” Chan said, and pulled the glass towards himself.
He was dressed in all black, hoodie, jeans and beanie alike, and he looked pretty much the same as every time Jungkook had seen him off-stage in his personal clothes. He didn’t have any makeup on, and a couple of curly locks were visible from under the beanie.
“I’m a little nervous,” Chan admitted.
“Me too,” Jungkook blurted, a bit louder than intended, and immediately cringed at himself. “I mean, it’s a bit strange with just us.” Oh my god, what the fuck, Jungkook? “Not in a bad way!!” he continued. “I’m happy you’re here!” Please, this could not have gone worse.
Chan laughed shyly, and it was about the cutest thing Jungkook had ever seen.
“Actually,” Chan started. “Before I say anything else, I just needed to clear something up that has been on my mind since the last time we talked—or since 2017 if I'm being honest. I never thought I’d get the chance to apologise to JK, to you, but I felt so bad for ghosting you back then. I really didn’t mean to, but the company had gotten word about this whole ‘3RACHA’ thing we were doing, and they were really strict about what we could and couldn’t do from then on.”
“Oh, that makes sense! I was honestly hoping it was something like that,” Jungkook admitted. He’d long since gotten over it, but it was still nice to know. “I get it.”
Chan let out a long breath. “That’s a relief. Wow, I never thought I’d get to clear that up. I still can’t believe you were JK. What a coincidence, right?”
Jungkook chucked. “Right. And how are you guys doing now? Any new music you’re working on?”
Chan looked sceptically at him. “You really wanna know? You’re not just asking to be nice?”
“No, no, of course not! I’m a fan, remember?” Jungkook joked, but the sentiment was sincere.
“If you’re sure then,” Chan chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I could talk about music for hours. We’re always working on music.”
“You should meet Yoongi-hyung, I think you’d get along great,” Jungkook said.
With the awkward tension successfully lifted, the conversation flowed a bit easier from there. Chan talked about the music he was currently working on, and the album that was due to release soon. Jungkook talked about some of the upcoming projects the members were pre-shooting before they headed off to the military. They stuck mostly to safe topics, and even though Jungkook would love to get to know Chan on a more personal level, it was already a big step up from barely talking at all.
He tried not to be too nervous. It got easier the more they talked, but he still couldn’t help the way his heart would skip a beat whenever Chan laughed. He looked so soft and cute in his oversized hoodie. Stray curls were peeking out from under the beanie, completing the image. It was a shame he was hiding them all under there; they were adorable. Jungkook hoped he wasn’t too obvious in his adoration.
“I need to go soon,” Chan said eventually, and Jungkook hoped he wasn’t imagining that he sounded a little regretful. “Dance practice.”
Jungkook nodded understandingly. Chan had told him beforehand that he’d have to leave for dance practice around this time, but he still couldn’t help the tinge of disappointment.
“This was really nice,” Chan said as they parted. “We should do it again sometime.”
Jungkook tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t come across as neither too dismissive nor too desperate. “We should, I had a lot of fun,” he settled on, clapping himself on the back for a very natural-sounding answer.
Chan gave him one of his blinding smiles in return, and Jungkook dared to hope that he didn’t suggest a repeat just to be polite.
When Jungkook got back home, he flopped down on the sofa with a groan. He felt oddly disappointed for some reason, even though his coffee “date” with Chan had gone really well.
Jungkook had to miss out on the last 97s gathering due to suddenly flying out to LA to record a song, which was why Mingyu was especially persistent about him going to the next one.
“You coming to the meet-up next week?” Mingyu asked.
Jungkook hummed noncommittally. For once, at least compared to recently, he was actually pretty busy.
“You should get out of the house more.”
“Hey! I do get out of the house,” Jungkook protested. He was even out of the country last week!
“For non-work related purposes, I mean,” Mingyu deadpanned.
Jungkook wanted to protest again, but truthfully, he hadn’t really done anything social other than meeting up with Mingyu ever since his date hang-out with Chan. Mingyu gave him a knowing look when he didn’t reply.
“Chan is gonna be there,” Mingyu continued, as if that was gonna make a difference. Unfortunately, Jungkook was a weak man, and he could already feel his interest getting piqued.
Mingyu must have noticed, because he laughed at him. “You’re really down that bad, huh.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook whined, hiding his face in the hood of his hoodie.
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes,” Jungkook grumbled.
And this was how they ended up at a nice restaurant with Chan, Eunwoo and Jaehyun a week later. It was a good time, of course, as always. Even though Jungkook had to fight the urge to zone out while staring at Chan. The only difference was that today, Chan seemed to be stealing glances at him too.
Jungkook was embarrassed to admit that he’d made an effort today. Normally, he would just pull a bucket-hat down his face and head out, but he’d put on something nice and styled his hair the best he could. He hadn’t put make-up on, mostly because he wasn’t any good at it, but he’d still felt confident in his look when he turned up at the restaurant. Maybe his efforts actually paid off.
Chan himself looked stunning, of course. He had make-up on today, and his hair carried signs of having been professionally styled earlier that day. Jungkook always thought Chan looked nice, but there was no denying that the smokey eyeshadow was a good look on him.
And so Jungkook sneaked not-to-subtle glances at Chan, with Chan sneaking the occasional glance back. Every time he caught him looking, every time their eyes met, Jungkook’s heart flipped in his chest. The flush on his face wasn’t just due to the alcohol.
He always had a good time with the 97-liners, but today was a particularly good day. They laughed and had fun. The food was great, and so was the drinks. Not to mention that he was finally getting close with Chan, meaning he could actually talk to him now, and not just stutter awkwardly whenever they exchanged more than a few words. In fact, there was a new tension between them that only made Jungkook more excited.
Chan was the first one to leave the restaurant. Jungkook didn’t blame him—it was getting late, and the other guys were getting drunker and drunker. Chan had never given the impression that he minded being the only sober one, but there was a limit to how drunk someone could get before holding a proper conversation became impossible.
Chan told them all how much fun he had had, and that they should do it again soon, before excusing himself. Jungkook watched longingly after him as he went.
“Dude, go after him!” Mingyu suddenly exclaimed.
“What?”
Mingyu gave him a look that might have been subtle if he was any less drunk. “You know, go and get your man,” he said, lowering his voice, but still talking loud enough for the whole table to hear.
“Shut the fuck up,” Jungkook hissed, glancing around to see if any of the others were listening.
“I’m sorry, but you and Chan haven’t exactly been subtle,” Eunwoo said apologetically.
Jungkook groaned. “You know too? Does everybody know?”
Next to Eunwoo, Jaehyun shrugged.
“For what it’s worth,” Eunwoo continued, “I think you should go for it.”
They all looked at him as Jungkook tried to think through the brain fog. “Fuck,” he said. Then with more force behind it, as his resolve crumbled. “Fuck.” He got off the table, swaying a bit as all the alcohol went to his head. He only just remembered to grab his bucket-hat before darting in the direction he’d seen Chan leave.
The guys hooted after him as he unsteadily hurried after Chan.
Chan had made it to the entrance of the restaurant. Jungkook only recognised him by the outfit, since a black facemask was covering most of his face, with the hood covering the rest. Chan jumped as Jungkook patted his arm for his attention.
“Jungkook?”
“Chan. I need to tell you something,” he said. God, he wished he was a little less drunk. Or maybe it was a good thing. Maybe the liquid courage was the only reason he’d run after him in the first place.
“Yeah, of course,” Chan said.
“Our coffee date, which wasn’t a date, I really wanted it to really be a real date,” he said. “No, wait. What I meant to say was, do you wanna go on a date with me?”
Chan stared at him for a moment, stunned. Then he pulled his facemask down to reveal a shy smile. “You’re not just saying that because you’re drunk?”
Jungkook his head. “If you couldn’t tell, I’ve been a little bit obsessed with you for as long as we’ve known each other.”
Chan laughed. “Well, now that you mention it…”
“So? Will you?”
“Why don’t you ask me again tomorrow, when you’re not drunk. And if you do, the answer will be yes.”
A grin spread across Jungkook’s face. “Really?”
“Really.”
A cab pulled up in front of the restaurant. “That would be my ride,” Chan said. “Talk to you soon?”
“Yes, yeah, definitely!”
Chan leaned in for a hug, which Jungkook eagerly reciprocated. He pulled his mask back up when he leaned back, but Jungkook could still see the smile in his eyes. “Bye then.”
After the cab disappeared down the street, Jungkook returned to the table where the other guys were still drinking and laughing. They cheered when they saw him.
“So? How’d it go?”
Jungkook grinned. “I think I have a date.”
When he woke up the next morning, he felt both mortified and ecstatic. He tried not to think too hard about how much of a fool he had made out of himself, and drafted a message. He hit send before he could regret it.
Not drunk, just very hungover. So, how about that date?
The reply came almost immediately.
The answer is still yes ^_^
Jungkook locked his phone, rolled over to bury his face in his pillow, and squealed.
Knowing that Chan liked him back—at least enough to agree on a date—only added fuel to the fire that was his crush. Stray Kids was having a comeback that month, which meant that they couldn’t go on their date yet, but also that Jungkook had plenty of ways to feed his infatuation in the meantime. He watched the music video, all their stages, as well as whatever shows on YouTube that Chan was on. He felt downright giddy watching, knowing that the handsome guy that fans were screaming for was soon to be his for an evening.
While they waited for Chan’s schedule to clear up, they took up texting. Jungkook, known in pretty much all of his social circles for never texting back, found himself glued to the phone when Chan messaged him.
“Who is the lucky guy or gal?” Jimin had teased when they were out drinking one day, noticing the way he kept checking his phone.
“Bang Chan,” Jungkook admitted, not even denying it. “We have a date next week.”
Jimin grinned. “Really? You actually landed yourself a date with the guy you’ve been crushing on for, what now, five years?”
Jungkook had simply grinned back. “The one and only.”
“Only you, Jungkook, I swear,” Jimin had said, shaking his head. “You were born under a lucky star.”
They did eventually find a suitable time to meet after Stray Kids’ promotions in Japan ended, and before he knew it, he was sitting by a restaurant table, anxiously waiting for his date to arrive.
Jungkook had gone above and beyond for this date, spending a ridiculous amount of money on a private room in one of the most exclusive restaurants in Seoul. It was probably a bit too much—way too much, actually—for a first day, but could you blame him? Jungkook had been dreaming about this day for at least a few years, and he’d been low-key crushing on him for even longer.
Chan arrived 5 minutes before their agreed-upon time, looking absolutely stunning. His hair was styled into a side-part, and he was wearing a simple shirt and jeans. The top button of the shirt was open, and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, revealing underarms that Jungkook found unreasonably sexy.
“You look handsome,” Jungkook said, because he could. Chan was his date, which meant all those things he’d had to bite back were suddenly on the table.
“Stop it, I don’t,” Chan whined, quickly sitting down at the table across from him. “I’m so underdressed for this. Jungkook, what the heck!”
“Sorry?” Jungkook said, without an ounce of regret. It was their first date; of course he was going above and beyond. He didn’t care what Chan wore anyway. Jungkook himself was only wearing a white T-shirt under a blazer that he had already discarded.
They sat down with the menus, Jungkook scanning the foreign-sounding names of the dishes. He’d chosen a western restaurant despite himself, thinking that maybe Chan, who was from Australia, would like it.
“Do you have any recommendations?” Chan asked.
“No, I’ve never been here before,” Jungkook replied sheepishly.
“Oh,” Chan said, looking a tad surprised. “Why’d you choose it then?”
“It’s our first date, I wanted to do something nice,” Jungkook shrugged.
“You really didn’t have to, I’d be just as happy at a noodle place.”
“Oh. Do you wanna go…?” Jungkook trailed off, suddenly self-conscious about the choice of restaurant.
“No, no, not like that! I really appreciate you bringing me here,” Chan said, flustered, waving his hands in denial.
“Okay, I’m relieved,” Jungkook sighed.
Chan ended up recommending something for the both of them. Jungkook got a steak and Chan got duck breast, and while Jungkook admittedly preferred Korean food, the dishes were delicious. He understood why the restaurant was deemed one of the best ones in Seoul.
“Any upcoming projects?” Chan asked when their plates were starting to empty.
Jungkook lit up. He leaned in closer, lowering his voice, even though there was no one around to overhear them. “I’m releasing a single this summer,” he said.
Chan’s eyes burnt with curiosity. “Any spoilers?”
“You get a spoiler, I get a spoiler, how’s that?” Jungkook said, leaning back again.
“Spoiler for what?”
“Your next thing! Knowing you guys, there’s already a new album in the making.”
“Could be, could be,” Chan said cryptically.
“So. Deal?”
“Sure, what do you wanna know?”
“Do you have another album planned?”
“Of course,” Chan said.
“And?”
“Nah-ah, my turn!”
“That’s not fair!”
Chan shrugged. “You get a question, I get a question.”
“We’re playing 20 questions all of the sudden?”
“Sure. Better choose wisely,” Chan said. “What I wanna know is, what is the title?”
Jungkook decided to play along, replying: “’Seven’.”
“Seven? As in seven members of BTS?”
“That’s another question. You gotta wait for your turn again,” Jungkook said.
Chan raised his hands as if giving in. “Go ahead then.”
“How many songs?”
Chan considered it for a while. “It’s not fully decided, but at least 10.” Then he launched straight into his next question. “So, seven as in seven members of BTS?”
“Nope, not at all,” Jungkook said with a cheeky grin. “What’s the title track?”
“Teuk.”
“Sorry?”
“Teuk,” Chan repeated. “Or ‘S-Class’ in English.”
Jungkook looked like he wanted to ask something more, but he bit it back. It was Chan’s turn after all.
“What genre are you doing?”
“Pop. Sing a line from the title track.”
“That’s not a question.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Fine, what’s a line from the title track?”
“Bitkkal ppeonjjeok, bitkkal ppeonjjeok, bitkkal ppeonjjeokae classneun teuk,” Chan said. “Said” being the keyword.
“You’re no fun,” Jungkook pouted.
Chan shrugged, then giggled. “So, you’re doing pop. English or Korean?”
“English. Anyone featuring?”
“Not on the title track.”
“But on other songs?”
“My turn. What’s the song about?”
“Fine. It’s a love song. Who is featuring on your album?”
Chan didn’t answer right away. He looked around, even though they were the only ones in the room, and leaned in to whisper: “You can’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t. Why are we whispering?”
Chan got even closer. “It’s Tiger JK,” he whispered, and Jungkook gasped.
“For real? No way!”
Chan settled back again, the look on his face bordering on smug. “I know, right? I can’t believe it either. Jisung almost pissed his pants when we got the confirmation.”
“Daaaamn. Have you recorded it? Can I hear it?”
“Yeah, but it hasn’t been mastered yet. You gotta wait until the album drops anyway!”
“When was that again?”
Chan smiled secretively. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Channie,” Jungkook pouted. Unfortunately, Chan wasn’t Jungkook’s members, and did not give in to his maknae charms. He just shook his head while his grin widened.
They ended up leaving soon after. Chan bravely fought for the bill, as if Jungkook was ever gonna let him pay for a date Jungkook invited him to. It was his pleasure to pay, even though the dinner had been adequate at best, and certainly overpriced.
He said as much to Chan when they were leaving the restaurant.
“No, no, it wasn’t that bad!” Chan immediately denied. “I had a really good time!”
Jungkook smiled wryly. “I had a good time too, but I think we can both agree the food had nothing to do with it.” As an idea formed in his head, he turned to Chan. “Actually, how about those noodles?”
Chan looked confused for a moment, before remembering their initial conversation at the restaurant. A smile slowly formed on his face, and he said: “I could definitely go for some noodles right now.”
A few days later, Mingyu called him up on Facetime. He didn’t even say hello, going straight into: “Dude, you hooked up with Chan?”
“What the heck, Mingyu, how do you even know that?” Jungkook asked.
“Met him at the gym yesterday.”
“And he just told you that?”
Mingyu pouted. “Me and Chan talk.”
Jungkook thought there was more to it, but he didn’t press it. “Chan and I were on a date,” he said.
“Which ended up at your place,” Mingyu said—declared. A smile was spreading across his face though. “See? I told you he’d be interested!”
“No, you said that you didn’t think he was straight, and that I would ‘get over it’ if he rejected me,” Jungkook pointed out.
Mingyu made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat. “Same thing. He wouldn’t reject you, you’re a catch!”
“Now you’re telling me that? Where was this encouragement last month?”
“Gotta keep your ego in check somehow,” Mingyu said with an off-screen wave of his hand. “And don’t think I’m letting you out of this one—you hooked up with Chan! How was it?”
“Haven’t you already heard this from Chan?”
“Channie didn’t tell me anything,” Mingyu pouted. “You know how he gets—all shy and giggly!”
“Well, he certainly wasn’t shy last night,” Jungkook smirked.
Mingyu screeched. “I knew it! You filthy bastards, on the first date?!”
“Ya! You asked!” Jungkook said. “And so what? We’re both adults, we can have sex on the first date!”
“I thought you were gonna woo him, not seduce him!”
“How do you know it wasn’t him who seduced me?” Jungkook said defensively.
“It was your apartment,” he pointed out.
“We were going to eat ramyeon! Besided, Channie still lives in a dorm!”
“Oh, you were gonna ‘eat ramyeon’, huh?” Mingyu snickered.
“We were! We did!”
“Okay, okay, chill out! I’ll support you in your hoe endeavours.”
Jungkook groaned. “You’re impossible. I’m hanging up.”
“Wait! You didn’t say who got the di—”
Jungkook hung up and laughed. If Mingyu wanted to be annoying, Jungkook would be just as annoying in return.
They really had meant to get noodles! And Jungkook genuinely hadn’t had any ulterior motives when he suggested they go back to his place. It was convenient—Jungkook wasn’t really keen on getting recognised in public any more than they already had, Chan lived in a dorm, and Jungkook already had a stash of all his favourite kinds of ramyeon at home. It made sense!
So, they had ended up at Jungkook’s place. And it started out innocently enough. He boiled water, slipped in three bags of noodles, and threw in a couple of eggs to spice it up. Chan hung around in the kitchen, keeping up a mostly one-sided conversation as Jungkook cooked. They’d eaten in the living room, both of them moaning around mouthfuls of noodles. And after both of their bowls sat empty on the coffee table, they’d stayed up talking, inching closer and closer, until Chan’s hand was resting on his thigh, and Jungkook’s hand found its way up under Chan’s shirt, and… well. Let’s say it escalated from there.
When Chan had left early that morning to get to the JYP building for practice, he’d kissed Jungkook, saying once again how nice the date had been, and that they should do it again soon. Jungkook had spent the rest of the day in a state of euphoria.
Just a moment after he hung up, Mingyu called back. “Okay, okay, truce!” he said, still laughing. “How was your date?”
“My date was great, thank you for asking,” Jungkook grinned.
They chatted about the date for a while, before the conversation naturally moved on to other topics. For once, it was Jungkook who had to go because of a schedule later that day, and they hung up with the promise of talking more later.
Both Jungkook and Chan were busy with their respective comebacks that summer, with Jungkook being overseas for most of his, but they still found time to meet. They went out a couple of times, but they mostly stayed at Jungkook’s flat.
It was one of those times when they were laying in Jungkook’s bed that Jungkook asked Chan if he would want to be boyfriends. Chan had smiled happily, saying that he would like that very, very much.
Jungkook was more nervous than he’d expected to be when he was meeting “the kids”, as Chan fondly referred to them as. He had seen them all before, of course, having been a Stray Kids fan since debut, but being introduced to them in private as their leader’s boyfriend was a whole different thing. It almost felt like he was “meeting the parents”, the “parents” in this scenario being seven young guys, who were the closest thing Chan had to family on this side of the world.
The kids were all gathered at Chan’s dorm when they got there. He could immediately tell they were just as nervous as him, which made him feel a bit better.
“Everyone, this is Jungkook. Be nice,” said Chan.
The kids greeted him politely. Jungkook returned the greeting in the same fashion. A few of the more outgoing members came up to talk to him, saying how much they looked up to BTS or enjoyed his singing. Jungkook in turn, told them how he’d been a fan since forever, which made all seven of them light up.
“I’m gonna get something to drink, you want something?” Chan asked.
“A beer, thank you,” he said, having noticed several open cans on the coffee table.
“Coming right up,” Chan said, and gave him a peck on the cheek before turning to the kitchen. Jungkook couldn’t help but notice a few jaw-drops at the casual display of affection. He could feel himself violently blushing.
They stood there in awkward silence for a moment, before one of them broke out of their frozen state to say: “Let’s sit down.”
Jungkook scanned the sofa, his gaze landing on Minho, who felt like a safe enough option, and sat down next to him. “Hi, hope you don’t mind,” he said awkwardly.
“Not at all,” Minho said. “It’s nice to meet you again, seonbaenim.”
Jungkook sent out a grateful thought to Hoseok, who had recognised Minho all those years ago. He smiled a genuine smile, replying: “It’s nice to meet you too.”
Chan chose this exact moment to save him from more small talk, handing him a beer and squeezing in next to him. Shamelessly, he wrapped his arm around Jungkook, hugging him to his side. Jungkook, not used to being so openly affectionate with his boyfriend, had to remind himself that this was Chan’s family. No one would mind.
Both Jungkook and the kids loosened up over the course of the evening. They asked him questions, let him in on jokes, and made sure he wasn’t left out. In turn, Jungkook opened up and joined the conversation. He brushed them off when they addressed him as seonbae, insisting they call him hyung.
He probably drank a bit more than strictly necessary, feeling more and more drowsy as the night dragged on. Chan, who only just opened his second can of coke, chuckled lightly when Jungkook turned in his embrace, so he was resting his head on Chan’s chest.
“Feeling tired, baby?”
“Yeah~,” Jungkook said cutely. He would remember to feel embarrassed about it later. The rest of the members didn’t seem to be paying much attention though. A couple of them had already gone back to the other dorm, Minho and Jisung seemed preoccupied with each other, and the rest were drunkenly discussing whether a straw had one or two holes.
“You wanna stay here tonight?”
“Yeah, with you,” Jungkook mumbled.
Chan, still sober, chuckled and kissed him on the nose. “Okay, come on then.”
Jungkook swayed when he got up, but managed to stagger his way to Chan’s bedroom. Chan’s steadying hand helped. Jungkook let out a pleased hum after falling down on Chan’s bed, noting how much like Chan it smelled.
“C’m’ere,” Jungkook said to Chan.
“Just a second,” Chan said, taking his clothes off. Hm, smart, Jungkook thought, and kicked off his own trousers.
They cuddled together under Chan’s duvet, with Jungkook taking the place as the big spoon, and Chan for once not fighting him for it. He fell asleep to the sound of Chan’s steady breaths.
Despite having been a fan of Stray Kids for well over five years, Jungkook had never been to their concert. There were many reasons why, most notably his crammed schedule, the pandemic, and general shyness. When idols went to other bands’ concerts, it was usually by invitation, and back then, Jungkook couldn’t even imagine going up to Stray Kids and ask.
This time, he didn’t need to. Before the dates were even released, Chan had already asked Jungkook if he was in Korea the second to last week of September, saying he’d save a ticket for him if he wanted, as if there was even a question about it.
A couple of months later, Jungkook was seated in a section reserved for friends and family at Gocheok Sky Dome next to Changbin’s parents. Jungkook had been here before, both as an artist and as a guest at other idols’ concerts, but he still couldn’t help being a little extra excited for today.
Chan hadn’t been willing to give any spoilers, so Jungkook had been left to speculate about the setlist just like any other STAY. He was clutching his lightstick, bobbing his head along to the pre-concert playlist, as his anticipation grew.
A couple of girls were keeping a curious eye on him from a few seats over, but they hadn’t seemed to recognise him. He had his bucket-hat firmly pulled down his face, paired with a black mask. It was the sort of look that screamed “idol”, but still did a decent job of letting him blend in with the crowd. Not that he minded a few curious looks—he’d certainly dealt with worse.
When the music started and Stray Kids finally appeared on stage, he cheered just as loud as any STAY there, not caring if anyone heard him (though with how loud the crowd was cheering, he couldn’t imagine his voice would stand out). And if he cheered a little extra loud when Chan was singing—well, who could blame him?
After the concert, he was brimming with energy. The fanboy in him couldn’t believe he got to see all his favourite songs, as well the live debut of no less than three songs from their upcoming album! The boyfriend in him, however, was grumbling about having to share Chan with 25,000 screaming fans.
He got to go backstage and meet the kids after the show. He gave Chan a light kitty punch to the shoulder when he reached him. “What the heck was that solo performance all about,” he said, pouting. “Who are you calling ‘baby’?”
Understanding dawned on Chan’s face. He smiled sheepishly. “You know you’re my only baby,” he said, and leaned in to steal a kiss. With the boots Chan was still wearing, they were almost the same size for once, which Jungkook found that he didn’t mind.
“As long as you remember,” he huffed.
Chan laughed. “Being a little possessive, are we?”
“What do you want me to do when you go up there being all sexy like that?” Jungkook grumbled.
Chan smirked. “Oh?”
“And, I’m gonna stop you right there,” Jisung suddenly interrupted. “This is a public space, have some decency!”
The bubble popped, and Jungkook became aware of the other members, who had also gathered in the green room. A few of them were occupied with talking to Changbin’s family, but the rest had clearly caught their conversation, watching with varying looks of amusement and bashfulness on their faces.
“As if you’re one to talk,” Chan quipped back. “With how you and Min—”
“What did you think of the concert, hyung?” Minho interjected loudly.
Jungkook, happy to switch topics, replied: “It was great! You all did so well. I especially liked ‘MEGAVERSE’. That was epic.”
Chan was beaming beside him.
The door to the green room opened, and a few staff members trailed in. Jungkook recognises one of them as their manager. He took a small step away from Chan, letting go of the hand he was holding.
“Gather here, please,” one of the staff members said, waving a camera over her head. The members posed for a few photos, first without and then with the slogan.
Another staff member approached him, catching his attention with a timid “Jungkook-nim? Would you pose for a photo?”
He shrugged, and joined the Stray Kids members for a photo. The staff holding the camera instructed him on where to stand. He kept the bucket-hat on, but slid the mask down a bit, just so you could see him smile.
After taking photos, Jungkook naturally gravitated back to Chan. He hung around for a bit longer, but eventually got ready to head back home. Chan wasn’t coming with him today, since he had one more day of concert, and it was more practical for him to stay at the dorm.
One day later, Chan was back at his apartment. They were curled up on his sofa, watching a random Netflix drama, when Chan suddenly said: “Thank you for coming to the concert, babe.”
“Why are you thanking me? I should be thanking you,” Jungkook said honestly. “You know I love your music. And I love you.”
He felt Chan smile against his shoulder. “I love you too.”