Work Text:
I remember when we first met, Hyuna. It was always one of my most vivid memories. For it was the moment my world was colored in vibrancy for the first time.
By that, I mean when we first properly met. Not the glancing at each other across the room as our guardians spoke with each other about business deals or human biological science.
The time we first met was when we were in ANAKT Garden.
Our guardians had just sent us off to ANAKT and we were put into these small boxes. Your guardian shoved you in there, while mine simply flicked a strand of my hair. Between the two of us, you always were — no, are — more rebellious. You really disliked how the segyein had authority over us. I didn't really care because the oppressive environment I lived in was all I really had. That was before you. And Hyun-Woo too, I guess... Now that I look back on our memories.
I remember I was just staring at the floor because Heperu never gave a damn about me and my well-being unless it was in relation to my performances and skills — I remember how I used to convince myself he did care about me when I was younger and more naïve. So, to pass time, I usually just zoned out until I had to get back to reality or made up games to play by myself or counting my heartbeat to remind myself I'm alive — even if I felt more dead than alive.
That day, I decided to just stare at a fixed point and then zone out since that's what I was already doing. I remember I was making up a scene where my "siblings" — clones, really — and I were playing. I don't remember where we were, maybe a garden with lots of flowers that I read about in the books Heperu allowed me to have. We were running around and yelling "TAG!" or something of the sort when I heard you knock against one of the walls of your box.
I remember turning around and coming face to face with your quicksilver eyes. I jumped back in surprise at how close our boxes were — I didn't the sudden closeness or seeing your face. You looked at me with a look like recognition and captivated interest — as if I were a siren luring you into the depths of the water. I don't think I ever got over that look you had on your face when you saw me. I felt flattered you could look at me with such care and compassion when I never thought myself deserving of it when all I've ever been was someone who dolled to the masses with no sense of autonomy beyond the stage and its lights.
I think you tried waving to me, but I was too disoriented from the appearance of your face in a place like this that by the time I waved back to you, our boxes were already being pulled apart.
I remember how we later saw each other again during that first test they used to assess our skills and abilities. You were part of the second group who was set to sing later in the song, while I was in the first group who sang first. I remember making a silly face at you as my group slowly finished their part of the song. You grinned back at me as you and your group began to sing.
We got put into the same section and class. It was fun, playing with you and Hyun-Woo in the garden. Except for that one time he tried to eat the "snow" that wasn't actually snow and was actually just the ashes of other children. That wasn't fun, especially because I had to reveal the whole death thing and how you die when you lose on ALIEN STAGE. I think I terrified him terribly to the point he couldn't sleep some nights and became a workaholic or so, just because he feared death so badly... I'm terribly sorry for that, Hyuna. It must have broken your heart to have to make sure he was okay on those nights where the prospect of eternally falling asleep and never waking up again as your life fades out before your eyes scared him so badly he couldn't sleep. Hyun-Woo's your brother — the one irreplaceable half of your soul, your heart personified and put into real form.
Speaking of parts of your soul...
I hope you could forgive me for what I'll do when we're on that stage.