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He follows me around wherever I go, so these small moments of solitude are truly a gift.
I understand that he has a duty to fulfil. We all have our duties to fulfil, after all. I know that better than most, and Father makes sure I never forget that fact. Even so, does he truly have to accompany at every moment of the day? I am hardly a child, and I certainly don't need a chaperone to help me navigate my own home! I know the layout of this castle down to its last boot-worn floor tile!
The Sheikah Slate makes its now-familiar melodic clink sound as I set it upon my desk, and I level the fascinating-yet-frustrating contraption with as much of a glare as I can muster, but my tiredness is beginning to overtake my irritation.
Today has been a long and taxing day.
And he certainly didn't help.
I truly do not understand why Father insists on having Link follow after me so closely. He is so distracting. It is difficult enough for me to focus on my 'training' without having him hover over me like a lost pup, distracting me at every turn. As much as I try to block out his presence when focussing on the supposed powers I possess, he proves to be far more distracting than I am comfortable with. How can someone so taciturn and stoic be so… distracting?
Distracting… I can't think of another word to describe him. He. Is. Distracting.
At least he does not enter my personal quarters… yet. I sincerely hope that father does not get it into his head that that is necessary.
It does not take long for sleep to claim me as I lay upon my bed, but even in my dreams my mind will not rest. There is so much that needs to be done, after all. So much work left to do, so much to prepare for, to consider, to arrange and to organize. There is so much… and so little time.
We can always find more soldiers, or more rupees, or more weapons or more horses. But we can never find more time. We can only use it up, and wonder afterwards if it was used well or squandered.
Am I using it well? Am I doing enough?
Will it ever be enough?
…
I do not have a restful sleep, but when morning comes I must rise nonetheless. Time is a resource I have less of each day, after all, and I must make sure that I am doing enough.
…
…
…
He's… not here?
He's not here. He is actually not standing outside my quarters for once. Week after week, morning after morning, he has been at my door at first light, ready to escort me to the hall to meet with Father. And today… nothing.
Well, I am certainly not about to complain. In fact, this is much better. I can arrive at the main hall by myself for once and not with a pointless chaperone.
Still… it is unusual. I've gotten used to him being here-
No! This is good! He's not here, so he won't be distracting me! I can go about my morning without him, and it will be just fine!
Besides, he will probably be along shortly anyway. He has his own instructions he received from Father, so he will be in the main hall one way or another. In fact, he is probably already there, and Father is already telling him to increase his focus on ensuring that I…
…
I should hurry to the hall.
…
…
…
He is not here, either. And Father has said nothing. He is giving his instructions to the Head of the Guard, the Master of the House, and the rest of the staff as usual.
He hasn't even looked in my direction.
It hurts. To know that I am a disappointment to him. That I am failing to live up to his expectations of me. But I am the Crown Princess of Hyrule, and I cannot let it be known that I am hurt. So as always, I hold my tongue and say nothing. I keep my head high, my gaze ahead, and my focus on the duties I must fulfil.
"I will speak with the Princess in private. Leave us." Father's command is obeyed, and the staff file out of the main hall.
This is unusual. Father has never been one for secrecy. Our discussions, his orders as my King, have always been open affairs, shared with all in the household the same as any other subject of his. He has always made clear that he and I are servants to Hyrule just as much as the citizens are, and that we are never to hide away or keep our distance any more than strictly necessary.
"Zelda," Father says, and I am at his side at once, barely able to retain my outward mask of calm as I hear the fatigue in his voice.
He sound so tired… I haven't heard him so tired since those terrible days after Mother passed.
But then he stands tall, and he looks down at me with his usual stern strength, as if that brief flash of weariness were naught but a figment of my imagination.
"You have received a letter of summons from the Elder of Kakariko. She has requested that you meet with her to discuss a matter of some importance." His words are measured. A command from my King.
I incline my head respectfully. "I will prepare to depart at once."
Father wears a mask just as I do. His mask is one of strength, of a stoic King who knows what is best for his people. His own worries and doubts are irrelevant unless they concern the Kingdom at large. He cannot show weakness… not even to me.
My mask serves many purposes. One of those is to make sure Father has one less thing to worry about. So just as he wears his mask around me, I wear mine around him.
We are the ones to whom all others look to for leadership. Our masks are how we bear that burden.
"You will depart at first light the day after tomorrow. I will inform your Knight of the arrangement. He will be your sole escort. The Elder has requested discretion in this matter."
I almost question that. Almost. But I refrain from speaking, from asking why Link was not present for this if he will be my escort, or why it must be just myself and he.
I almost ask where Link is right now… but I do not. I simply incline my head once more, and exit the hall.
I have much to do, after all.
…
…
…
Link is still absent, even as the sun passes overhead and morning becomes afternoon.
I cannot deny the growing unease I feel at his continued absence. I really have grown accustomed to his presence after all, it seems. It has been a long time indeed since he was apart from me for more than an hour. For an entire morning?
Father must have requested that he undertake something far more important for once.
I hate myself for feeling it, but I truly am envious of Link.
He is the Hero of Hyrule. The one chosen by the Sword That Seals The Darkness. From the moment he drew that blade, his path was certain. The Master Sword answered to him right away, recognising him as the one destined to drive back the Calamity. No doubts, not uncertainty, no hesitation. From the very beginning…
It comes so naturally to him. His calling. I, however…
It doesn't matter. Drowning myself in such thoughts will do me no good. I need to focus on what I can do here and now.
Such as making sure the castle's supplies of medicines are still of sufficient quantity. A duty that admittedly ordinarily falls to the Master of the House, but with how busy he has become in recent days with organising various other matters, I have taken the responsibility to lighten his workload a little.
As I approach the door to the ward, however, something causes me to pause. Voices are filtering from beneath the closed door, and they sound… displeased.
"He needed to… a lesson… what he deserved…"
This is clearly not a discussion I should be present for, I suppose I will have to come back later-
"… the Princess's appointed Knight, you…"
I stop, and the unease I felt all morning rises again.
…
When I was younger, Father and Mother both used to scold me for eavesdropping. My curiosity was much less tempered and focussed back then, and it got me in trouble more times than I care to admit.
I really shouldn't be eavesdropping now, but my curiosity and unease are both gnawing at my mind, and I know I will drive myself mad if I leave this alone.
Once again, he is distracting me from what I ought to be doing. Link…
I don't make a fool of myself by pressing an ear against the door while kneeling down. I simply stand close and stay silent, listening to the discussion as attentively as I can.
"You took it too far, and you know it. This is going to reflect badly on you."
"On me? I think it rather reflects much more poorly on him, wouldn't you say? Someone chosen by the Sword That Seals The Darkness should be able to put up more of a fight than that."
"If you had conducted yourselves with the discipline that is expected of men of your station, I imagine he would have had no trouble at all. Instead, all you managed to prove was that you needed to cheat to get one over on him."
"Save your pleas for chivalry for the tourney. In a real battle, such things are useless."
"Well, I hope for your sakes that this doesn't escalate any further. I can't imagine he will press the issue, but what about the rest of you? Will you leave this matter alone, now that you have your satisfaction?"
"For now, yes. Now, if you will excuse us…"
I take several steps away from the door, and I wait until the door opens to begin walking forwards again, as if I had only just arrived.
It is only through practice and habit that I am able to maintain my mask as I pass the half-dozen men who exit the ward, all looking as if they have been involved in a particularly savage tavern brawl. They all murmur acknowledgements to me as they depart, but otherwise we pay each other no mind.
No, my mind is focussed instead on the sight of a familiar figure laying in one of the ward beds, eyes closed as the on-duty physician applies dressings to his injuries.
"Princess Zelda!" The physician quickly rises from his seat at Link's side, leaving his arm only partially-wrapped in the bandage he had been winding around the injured limb. The cut is ugly and raw, still bleeding slightly, and it is clear from the rest of the bandages around his other arm, his leg and his head that Link is in a bad way.
"What happened!?" My mask almost slips, just for a moment, but I am able to retain my composure enough that the physician likely assumes my slight outburst is borne from surprise and nothing more.
The physician opens his mouth, but he is not the one who speaks.
"It's nothing… for you to worry about…" Link's voice is strained, but his eyes are open and he is staring at me with much more strength than his present appearance would suggest. "Just a… disagreement… It's been settled."
"Now really, Sir," the physician says, sounding more irritated than concerned. "You must refrain from exerting yourself further." He takes the bandage in hand again and finishes wrapping it around the wound and fixing it in place, and I see Link's eye twitch almost imperceptibly in discomfort.
"Can I go now?"
"Absolutely not!" The physician rises from his seat once again, brows furrowed. "You are to remain right where you are for the rest of the day, Sir. I will be checking those wounds hourly to make sure the salves are having the desired effect."
Link turns his attention to me… and for a moment, I see it.
He has always seemed to me to be so focussed and certain. Never wavering or worrying, never frustrated or fearful. The perfect Knight, in manner and in attitude.
But in that brief moment as his eyes meet mine…
…
He blinks, and his eyes are focussed once more. "How may I help you, Princess? Did you need me… for something?"
Focussed and certain, as if nothing had happened.
…
…
…
Sleep will not take me. I stare up at my ceiling, my thoughts returning to this afternoon yet again.
To Link… and to what I saw as I looked into his eyes.
I wear a mask. Father does as well. We wear them to bear the burden of our duties.
…
Link does as well. I saw it today, for the first time. I saw it, because I saw it slip away.
The focus and the certainty and the strength of the Chosen Hero… it all fell away for that single moment as our eyes met, and I saw for the first time what was hidden beneath that mask.
There were so many emotions in those eyes of his. Worry and fear and doubt and pain… and exhaustion.
That was the most shocking thing to me. The pure exhaustion, the weariness of someone ten times his age, mixed with everything else…
And it had nothing to do with the injuries he had. This goes far, far deeper than that.
Link… what are you carrying?
Something so heavy you need a mask to be able to bear it…
…
…
…
"Remember, this is a mission of discretion. Stay off the main roads, and do not draw attention to yourselves. As far as the people are aware, the two of you are still in Hyrule Castle. Am I clear?"
"Yes, Your Majesty," Link replies, bowing to Father. "I give you my word, I will see the Princess to Kakariko safely."
"Then be on your way, and may you travel well."
Link mounts his horse, and he does a truly masterful job of concealing how it pains him to do so. I would have missed it entirely had I not been paying close attention.
We depart just as the sun begins to crest the horizon, our horses setting a steady pace as we begin our journey. We follow the road only as far as the first trees before guiding our horses off the well-worn path. Link rides slightly ahead of me, alert and focussed.
I focus on him, disregarding any other distractions.
If Father knew about Link's injuries, he made no mention of them, and Link did not bring them up either. Even now, he conceals them, and he conceals how they affect him, but I notice now that I am paying attention.
"Link."
I call to him, and he slows and twists in his saddle to face me. His mask is firmly in place as his eyes meet mine, but I see behind it.
"My horse is weary so early in the morning. We should ride slowly for the time being."
I cannot be direct, because I understand what it means to need a mask. So I speak as if I am ignorant, and I allow him to keep his mask on for now, while he still needs it.
He nods, and we slow to a more manageable riding pace. Before he turns to face ahead again, I meet his eyes with my own, and for a moment, I see something other than the mask, and other than the emotions he hides beneath it.
We ride in silence after that. He looks ahead, and I look at him. No distractions.