Chapter 1: The Thief of Giftmas past
Chapter Text
He didn't ever get given anything.
No, not this Edgy, not with his rotten luck in his short life.
Fresh faced little ol’ him had waited to be picked like a goody-ass Bitty, like the store workers told him to, and got to watch the Edgies who ignored the rules get adopted by humans wowed by “being chosen” by their Edgy ‘porting onto their shoulders. Not that he would admit he’d simply been beaten to the idea.
But once he’d decided on this excuse, he kinda found himself digging in. Yeah! He didn't need to posture, or threaten, or flirt, or put up any hostile front. He was a Bitty in the market for a human who would see and want his unique style, with personal info (that he’d insisted the staff write on his individual chart) that said ‘Badass but happy to help out the human that deserves me!’
He did get adopted in the end. After listening to tales of getting utterly spoiled by their humans, when the Bittys bought back into the store for shopping wanted to gush and boast about their lives to gee-up the hopes of those unadopted. Ugh damn well-meaning Papys and Baby-Blues were even worse at rubbing his face in it than the Edgy types were.
And the way their humans talked to them and looked at them. Sappy fuckers.
He wanted that too.
His eventual owner, a mildly spoken and well dressed woman was nice enough, and checked out by the stores mandated background checks, so off he went, all stars in his eyesockets.
From his crate in the car his barrage of questions got shut down by a gentle admonishment that she needed to focus on driving, and hey; he was cool! So he’d wait quietly like a good Bitty until they got home. His home…
And he had to say, it was a nice place. All tasteful reds and some sleek black furnishings with nothing out of place. Kinda classy. He fit right in here.
His owner set the carrier down carefully on a low table, and the Edgy stepped out with as much swagger as he could muster in his store-grey shorts and t-shirt, briefly staring at his reflection under his bare-bone feet.
His owner’s movements caught his eyelights as she kneeled and placed a few packets of bitty clothes in a line next to him. “Okay…” she said, tapping at the one of the packets thoughtfully.
He took a quick breath, “soo, are these fer me?” He started off easy, after all, he didn't wanna mess this up, but he couldn't help how happily he was grinning. “an’ I guess you got’a name fer me too?”
She just stared at him impassively, before reaching to pull open a packet of socks and slippers, so he lost a little steam, but carried on. Maybe this was one of those shy humans who needed some prompting.
“‘course, whatever name you wanna give me ‘ll be great, I know it! did, ah, the store people tell ya the sorta food my type likes ta eat?” He smirked, “’m not that fussy fer an edgy, but if ya wanna get me some fries and junk food, i… uh”
Placed in front of him like a dealer laying cards were the first items of clothing. “Put these on your feet. Don't go around the house without socks or those slippers on.” The statement jolted him out of his thoughts, but he obediently sat down and put them on, before looking at the reds and blacks of the still packaged clothes to the side, and back up at his human.
“are ya gonna take those outta the wrapping? an’ what do i call ya?” he had to ask awkwardly, as she got to her feet and walked away to grab some sort of plastic tray from the kitchen counter just in view.
She wordlessly walked back and placed the tray of supplies on the table between him and the packets, and his reflection was replaced by the sight of clean new flat sponges, dusters, dish soap, and a small washing-up bowl that looked about the right size for him to reach into easily… to have baths?
The human knelt back down and grabbed the crinkling clothes packets bunched-up in her right hand, staring at him again. That same, expressionless look.
“Okay. These are for when I have people over. I don't want you ruining them before you need to wear them.”
His eyesockets widened slightly as she carried on, indicating bruskly towards the cleaning items, “These are what you’ll need for round the house, and I expect every shelf and unit to be dusted every day before feeding time. Your Bitty kibble is in the kitchen and you’ll get a portion twice a day after your chores. When I need you to wash anything or use a damp rag I’ll fill the bowl with soapy water.”
His smile was gone now, spikey teeth settled into a small grimace. His whole self worth had been based on choosing to be ‘different’ from all the other more troublemaking Edgys. But this… it was the principle of it.-
He grinned and waved his little clawed hand, and spoke up in a challenge. “an’ what if i dun wanna be yer damn skivvy, whatever yer name is, huh?!! ya haven't even given me that yet. what if i wanna rip this cleaning shit ta shreds for ya instead ‘n see how much of yer stuff i can push off yer shelves?! seems like ya want a servant instead of a bitty.”
Damn that felt pretty good. He left what he said hanging in the air, folding his arms to disguise the giddy delight that took him by surprise. It helped ease the hurt, too.
She blinked.
“You can call me Miss.”
He blinked.
“If you want to be in my home you can earn your keep by being useful like you’re supposed to. Your crate is over by the side of the sofa as it’s… the only place it really fits in with the decor.” Cold eyes. -No, she wouldn't even give him contempt, it seemed. Lukewarm, a gaze that graced him with stilted consideration.
“The bitty-bedding in there is Versace. I like my things better quality, so don't get your claws into it or you’ll take on floor cleaning until you earn a replacement. You will sleep in there too, and stay there until times I need you out. Oh! And when I’m away from the house you can stay out of your crate to keep watch for any break-ins. I have a spare camera you can wave in front of to notify me.”
The words came through clear in the lifeless silence of the house, even though the room around him seemed to start to blur into dulled reds and blacks the more his owner talked. He stood hunched in on himself with fisted hands clenching his shirt. “‘n what if i dunt do what ‘m supposed ta, then? what if ‘m not meant ta be an automaton for ya?”
‘Miss’, just sighed finally. “Of course Bitties are made for their owners. But, I suppose, if you’re going to be defective I can just take you back for a refund.”
It was weird. It didn't even feel like the threat it might have sounded like, but more a matter-of-fact, throwaway statement. Why did he get the feeling she wasn't even talking to him so much as talking to herself on behalf of some broken appliance...
His first human, his first home, his first introduction to the world.
She’d pretty much stolen each of those special things from him.
He was almost relieved though. It sucked, it really did, but at least he could still find a caring owner who he could look forward to naming him. He had that one thing left. Maybe he just wouldn't count this human as his real first owner.
She huffed, then perked up with a happily oblivious bit of enthusiasm. “Buuutt… I don't see why I should have to go all the way back to that store just to get a refund.” She poked a manicured fingernail towards where he stood beneath her. ”You don't really want to go back as a pre-owned Bitty do you? I’ve been told they're much less successful at rehoming, you know.”
Adding in a mutter of distaste for her own sake, “I certainly didn't want the ones they tried to sell me. Ugh. It doesn't matter if it’s a same-day return, -they're spoiled!”
The Edgy’s eyesockets widened. He didn't want to be labeled for rehoming. He didn't think the store tagged any returned Bitties like that… Dammit. As his memories suddenly added up where some of the longer term Bitties who didn't seem to get as much luck with the humans picking them out, the hesitant or angry characters, or the desperate ones…
“It’s a pity too, I’ve already got an AI site to pick out a name for you. You’re Samson.
… Like a little butler!”
…
…
She stole that from him.
“uh, -wait!”
The human paused, and the bitty blurted out quickly. “i, uh, hehe, you know, maybe this aint so bad?” He looked up shyly. “i’ll do yer cleaning ‘n look after yer house, i mean - it’s my home too, right?-
“It’s my home.”
He cringed, but soldiered on. “yeah, uh, yeah… anyway what kinda bitty would i be if i didn't take care of my owner?...”
…
…
…
He lasted three weeks.
Or more like; it took him three weeks to build her trust by doing an immaculate job of cleaning and obeying orders, and waiting for his chance.
On the day his human’s friends were due to visit for a ‘casual’ soiree, ‘Samson’ was positively joyful.
‘Miss’, was satisfied that her bitty had learned his place and was giving her the gratefulness she deserved as his owner. She had given her strict instructions for the bitty to bathe and be ready wearing his signature ‘edgy’ outfit so he could impress her friends when they all arrived back at her house after drinks. This was of course after he had made sure the ‘house was taken care of’ thanks to his readying it before they came, not that it could get any cleaner.
The influencer level display of snacks had been left on tables in the main room, while in the kitchen were carefully arranged ingredients left out and pots on the drying rack. And restaurant-ordered food that had been taken out of the packaging and placed in dishes in the oven, so that she could breeze straight into the kitchen to check the warmed up food was supposedly nearly done, and have everyone gushing over her cooking skills.
As the laughing and chattering gaggle of humans could be heard approaching the front door to the house that evening, ‘Samson’ was stood in the centre of the lounge table in the low mood lighting of the room.
The ladies all bustled in, taking off jackets and bags at first in the hall, not paying much attention to the room they were about to enter. As they did with all smiles, the hostess excused herself to the kitchen and bade them all to sit and relax while she made a pretense of checking her cooking was done, hoping a few helpful souls would wander in and see... She did not notice the suddenly dying chatter at her back as the rest of the group started to enter the room the bitty was in.
The oven had been left to keep the food warm at the lowest setting. It was slightly worrying that it smelled of burning food right now. She hadn't left the temperature dial turned that high had she?! It was a suddenly sober hostess who stepped over a powdery splodge leading across the floor and inspected the blackened contents of the cooker.
“Shit!”
They better not see this. She grabbed the over mitts and grabbed the containers out of there clumsily, dumping them on the messy counters in a rush. Eugh, it was all floury and sticky.
“Fuck fuck fuck…” she hissed, as footsteps coming towards the kitchen doomed her chances of making out the snacks were the main food. Maybe grabbing more alcohol to bring out instead. She spun around to try to block the view of the mess behind her.
An amused face greeted her. “Uh, darling, maybe it’s a good idea if we all head out for tonight, if you like? We, uh…”
“No, no!” she sing-songed back with a sheepish cooking mitt-wave. “Just go and help yourself to the food in the lounge. This was just extras! I think my bitty messed with the dials, ahaha!”
“I think he might have,” came the slight smirk.
Okay, that was a bit weird. Her friend was looking fairly knowing, perhaps just assuming having an Edgy type bitty meant poor behaviour. She dumped the mitts on the ruined food and put the friendly face back on to shepherd her guest back to the others.
Everyone was still stood outside the now lit-up room, talking in low voices and looking a little wowed around all angles of the area, left, right, up, down.
A few noticed the hostess coming, and nudged each other out of the way, as she slowly dropped the friend’s arm and her smile, and walked in.
He’d redecorated. The floor had a few messy shoeprints just inside where a few people had suddenly thought better of it, but other than that it was an almost artistic spread of white powdery flour coating the floor and anything near floor level. It all went in a spiral from the centre table, Like something there had done a lot of spinning to empty a bag or two nice and even.
That included all the serving platters and plates of fancy foods, which had been dragged and dropped off the tables to be included. All of it was powdered white, and a pleasant smell of soap powder was also making itself known. That appeared to be spread everywhere further out where the flour ran out. Over the furnishings, up to the baseboards, everywhere.
She looked up slowly. The ceiling was red. In quite a few patchy, blobby places anyway. It appeared to be tomato sauce, if the clawed open containers dumped on the shredded Versace bitty bedding were to be believed.
She looked slowly back down, to where the culprit hadn't moved from a nice clean circle in the middle of the low table. He was grinning pleasantly, holding some string from something or other across the floor for some reason.
“hey humans come on in! my owner here just loves this place being cleaned all the damn time, so i thought i’d make a proper clean-up project for th’ place.”
He lifted his little arm to gesture with the string, “there’s plenty ‘a food, help yourselves, miss i-don’t know-what-’er-name-is-cos-she-wont-give-me-it arranged it all fancy like. i improved it too- there’s a bunch of bitty kibble in there for ya all. must be good, it’s all i get! oh yeah! and make sure ya all check out ‘er shiny ornaments ‘n shit!”
He left little powdery footprints with his unlaced sneakers as he walked over to the far edge of the table and braced his feet against the edge as if about to abseil off, pulling the string taut as he leaned over. “wait… i’ll bring ‘em closer so ya can admire ‘em”
It was revealed where the string had been looped round, as he heaved; and everything on two shelves across the room slid off to smash on the floor, then the other hand raised, and low and behold; string again. The long shelf on the other side lost most of it’s display then.
“haaaah,” he paused as he got his breath back by the looks of him panting and standing with his hands on his knees. “haa, haau… n’ i think yer might like what i did up-, hah nevermind you’ll see it,” he waved an arm and grinned.
‘Miss’ was stone cold looking at her friends and back to him. Uh oh, Oh no, he could SEE her whole thought process.
I’m going to kill this bitty.
A side-eye at the humans: I can’t do it right now.
Side glance again: After they leave.
Assessing him: I could get a replacement.
Squint: Ugh I don't want another one.
Frown: Could say he ran or…
“Darling? Hey darling we were calling your name.” Came the sympathetic (ugh, fake-ass) sounding friend. “We’re all gonna head to that Thai place in town. Maybe… you can catch up and join us when you got this cleaned up?”
“Leave it to later!” chimed in another, seeing the opportunity to try to lighten up the mood. “I’m sure it isn't too much that it cant wait. You can eat with us still!”
“Yeah…” Another vaguely gestured to the door they were inching towards, “Out there.”
The door opened, and a close knit bundle of humans saw their chance to escape the pity-party of friendly grimaces and sympathetic smiles to their hostess. They all filed out in relief.
“wait! me too!”
The human reached a hand behind to hold the door with due politeness to the guy exiting behind them who called out, before realising that it was the bitty’s voice.
Too late, they looked down past their legs at the little guy sprinting out the door. If he had had a little briefcase it would have looked like he was late for a meeting.
He ran out to the street, looked left, then ran off to the right to vanish into the night. Or would vanish eventually, since the bitty was too little to make much distance anytime soon.
The human shrugged. Oh well, guess he knew what was best for himself, they mused, before glancing back at the house and heading off themselves to share an Uber.
Chapter 2: The Thief of Giftmas Presents
Summary:
Derp. It's a 3-parter now.
This was meant to be done in time for last Christmas!
Chapter Text
He threw away the name but kept the sweet jacket and trainers he had run off wearing. Pfft. Wasn't like he was gonna take them off and leave what wasn't his like a good little bitty. And what? Get to run away into the cold night with nothing but his bare boney butt?
No, a good little bitty didn't get given anything.
So this one took his freedom, and he took what else he wanted. Because he clearly hadn't been good enough to get a good human, so why try back, right?
But it was still pretty damn hard for a while. And hey, maybe the scared, lonely creature who hadn't even seen asphalt under his feet before cried himself to sleep the first night curled up in the curve of a drainpipe outlet.
Turns out he wasn't he only one out on the streets.
As he made his way over the following days further into town, the first other bitties he came across were living in a park with big old trees and meandering paths. A pair of Edgies like him, called Sid and Flea. He guessed he wasn't surprised.
Flea was pretty scruffy looking, making good use out of a cheap fleece jacket that he said was off a kids doll, pink turned to grey from the dirt over time. He had cuts and scrapes to the bone on his face, and only three digits on one hand, and stood kinda despondent, mostly studying the ground at the new Edgy’s feet.
But Sid, while dressed cooler, in a made-for-bitties black biker jacket and matching pants, had it far worse on the injuries side. He had only one eyelight left, a small gap of teeth missing, and an almost gaping cut across the other side of his face. He walked with a limp, and they told the fresh-faced Edgy they had both been in fighting rings.
The Edgy tensed up when they approached him from the bin they’d been behind, but he found they were both surprisingly gentle and muted for his type. Flea didn't speak much, but Sid asked him what his story was and even gave a wry smile when he heard it all, then gave the Edgy good advice on his new life, as a few more bitties could be seen emerging to watch from the bases of trees and bushes.
Among them he could see what looked like a Lil-Fell-bro, often known as a ‘Pup’, from the gold glint to his teeth and long style coat, leaning on a tree trunk, there was a Boss walking away, and a ragged Papy that looked so timid he thought it was a Meek at first.
The bitty briefly known as Samson thanked Sid for the hardened chunk of bread they gave him to pocket after he told them he was gonna head towards the centre of town. They had carefully let him in on how limited takings were from the park litter and friendly humans dropping food for them here; feeding bitties instead of squirrels, and limited safe places to sleep up in the holes in trees or bin areas that could be barricaded from foxes.
“and save yer energy fer a shortcut in case ‘a dogs too, even if ya been gone hungry,” Flea finally added his quiet voice. “even if they’re nice around humans, or on leads. can be fast when they decide yer a chew toy… most bitties don't have a chance once one a’ them gets hold of ‘em if they cant fight well or move fast enough. if ya cant teleport; throw a fast spread of bones in the nose n’ mouth ”
Sid’s sockets widened slightly as his working eyelight flicked to their visitor, then his face settled into a resigned look at his friend. “heh… yeah, anyway you stop by third street, that’s just past the red painted restaurant, if ya get low on food on the way to the centre. there’s another street-bit who comes by now and again, n’ he’ll help ya if he can with food. he’s in with a homeless human with a deal to get better takin’s at buskin’ and stuff. can tell ya better than us about any safer sleepin’ spots down that way too.”
He looked thoughtful a second, before fixing the Edgy with a serious look, “and as for if you decide ta chance lettin’ a different human take you in, that we cant help you with, it’s on you, friend. a lot of ‘em out there might be good, but most ta us strays ain't willing to take the chance on some random. the ones who do, well, im not saying I've not seen guys come back to say hi with their human, even try to get us to join ‘em…
... but if ya make it as a city stray, maybe just don't come back here ta visit. don't get me wrong, i think i can say we all like you buddy, and it would be nice to know you're alive and good, but that way we don't have ta worry yer still kickin’ every time, and that way we can assume any strays who move on are okay too, y’ know?”
Sid seemed old.
He often thought of those guys, while living in the city centre these days. Assumed they were doing okay. He certainly was.
The stray attached to the homeless human man was a Cherry, as it turned out, and pretty level headed for one of those. He had his reasons for not wanting to commit to that human as an owner or whatever, but the whole sleeping cutely while the human begged arrangement seemed to suit them both. Got some good advice on where to scrounge for food without getting on the bad side of restaurants, things like tying back up the trash bag material round any holes he made, and which ones had staff on cig breaks who would toss a piece or two of the scraps to any bitties. But keep out of reach.
He’d learned pretty much from the start to follow other strays to get on his own feet, and eventually had ended up at his favourite haunt.
The university had a steady flow of humans, and along with them, the good stuff, for a bitty not so afraid of the crowds to dodge. Students, as it turned out, often loved their junk food, and enough of them were generous about sharing little offerings to the pretty sizeable number of street bitties that hung around the campus on sunny days.
Stray bitty populations in towns and cities tended to be part of an undercurrent of these places, and as such rarely seen or noticed, usually due to the efforts of the bitties themselves to stay hidden, out of the way, and safe, even if they did want to be rescued or adopted.
But here was one of the places where thanks to a good amount of boltholes of old building nooks and crannies, along with a tolerance policy to bitties from the institution; a large amount of bitties were often to be found. Lunch-breaks ending would reveal which bitties would go with their humans and which would be left behind outside, a few pausing longingly before retreating elsewhere.
While the humans ate lunch and socialised sat outside, so did the bitties. Out of the less clingy creatures; a few including Baby Blues and the odd Baby Fell sometimes played with those who didn't have humans, while the more serious minded pet bitties would learn a lot about the risks out there and the lives they were lucky to avoid living when they braved chatting to the willing strays.
The Edgy had joined in too until he started making himself unpopular.
He had a big habit of avoiding anything offered, and instead aiming to pilfer his dinner, and anything else that tempted him, from the students and staff instead.
“there he goes…”
“WHAT?”
“EDGY BITTY STOP THAT! WE SEE YOU… NO! GIVE THAT BACK TO THAT HU-”
“welp, gone again.” chuckled an Outer-Sansy who caught the show from where he floated by his owners shoulder.
“what did he get this time?” A Lil-Bro winked an eyesocket open from where he lounged against a rucksack.
“HE TOOK THEIR WHOLE LUNCH!! THE FIEND!” Spluttered a Boss kinda impressed at the sheer audacity, as he had watched the Edgy run off with the huge burger held above his head before vanishing. He had another surprise as he turned to the wronged human and witnessed them calmly reach into their bag and pull out a second, identical burger, tucking in with a secretive little smile.
He frowned in thought, looking from the calm bitties who seemed like they had seen this before, then up to the human to try to figure out what the deal was.
You saw him looking and between mouthfuls smiled, “He also got that bitty rain poncho I left out just behind me unattended.”
“BUT WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE BITTY CLOTHING OUT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A BITTY WITH… OH.” He started to figure it out.
The Outer slow-motion flipped in the air, “yeah, he wont take it if they try to offer. that one’s got a thing about not wantin’ to be owing humans from their goodwill.”
The human shrugged, looking to the side with a quiet frown, “Forecast isn't too good later. He might need. -I mean, hes already kinda grubby. It cant be nice out in the rain when he cant get that jacket washed.”
The Boss didn't say anymore, and everyone gradually filtered off to where they were going.
The Edgy had started picking on you most of the days you were at the university, really. You were a pretty easy mark. Never got angry or tried to chase him. Often had some good stuff you weren't careful about. He even got your knitting one day, that was hilarious! He didn't know knitting didn't normally come with a label pre-sewn on. Just saw you clicking away with needles at it for a minute before you forgot it while you ate lunch. It made a damn nice blanket.
Things started getting harder though as the season changed. Students didn't eat outside anymore as the days became wetter and colder. The other street bitties moved on for the most part, and the best he scored was the occasional abandoned sandwich bag in the area he got to before anyone else.
He saw his mark some days hanging round still in the shitty weather. Kinda weird. Humans only usually came out in this if they were smoking. He didn't exactly have much going on in his life, so started to follow them when they left the Uni to go home for the day. He couldn't keep up the whole way, but each day he started to wait near where he last saw them, then followed further from there.
Humans had been putting lights all over the place outside lately. And the tree he was in had warm glowing coloured lights on wires all around him that made it easy to climb up. And this day he finally saw you go into some fancy looking old building that might be your place. Other humans were going in and out so it must be apartments.
This was it! He was so damn cold and hungry but if he could figure out which was your place he might be able to finally score more food and stuff. Get in, get out, not feel like he was gonna dust curled up behind the crumbling brickwork of his current shelter near the University.
He needed to stash more supplies if it was gonna snow again too. He could barely leave his bolt-hole when that happened, because he could barely walk in the stuff and it soaked and froze him to the bone. He wondered how close he was to falling during all that, trying to get dry and using every bit of blanket in his stash to shiver through the nights in. He was regretting not finding a group to pile in together with, but saw fewer stray street bitties during that cold. He assumed they were fine. Probably better at street living than him, or caved and went to bitty centres or let humans take ‘em…
It started raining cold again, pattering onto the light-bulbs nearly as big as his skull, as he gripped the wire and looked up from under the transparent, plasticy hood of his yellow poncho, thinking.
The foyer was a no go. He wasn't gonna risk that and have no escape that didn't rely on a human opening the door. The outside of the building all looked the same, with little details showing differently through the windows but not much clue. One window had some sort of familiar thing hanging up in it though. It looked like the same colours and symbol that was all over the University. Their emblem? Hell, worth a shot.
It took a risky mix of tree climbing, teleports, and scrambling from wet drainpipes to ornate bits of brickwork, but it got him to the window-ledge no sweat. Until he looked back down and broke out in one. It was pretty damn high.
He turned fast toward the window glass, and here was his next problem; how to get in when all the windows are shut? Well… he hoped someone was in.
‘DONK!’ Did something just hit your window? You sat straight in shock, and got up from your chair and went to the doorway.
You wondered if it was a poor dumb bird, but the glass showed no bird-shaped smudge, so hopefully if it was it had flown off again. You paused though before going back to your lunch. There was a something on your windowsill. Odd. Deciding to open the window to inspect it, you found a souvenir key-ring with a scuffed silver bear. It was next to a gross looking pile of leaf mulch. Weird. Maybe a crow or something?
On the facade of next door’s window-ledge a bitty had wedged himself back out of sight as much as possible. He almost got impatient enough to summon another blaster to weakly (-hit the window with all he had) bang on the glass, but a face had appeared staring out and looking down.
As the human wandered off from the open window, staring at the item in their hand, to get some tissue to pick up the mulch instead of risking shoving it off to fall on someone knowing their luck, in snuck the bitty.
He wanted to take a moment to be smug about it, but had no idea how long it took the human here to get around the place, so he opted for a more panicky dive under the furnishings. He belly-crawled to the wall under the bookcase he had found, and peered back out from the shadows.
Lucky he did, as you came back pretty quick to deal with the mess he’d left to distract you at the window, now wearing washing gloves that held a wad of tissue. With your back turned now, the bitty made a dash for the next room to see if there was a better hiding place.
Perfect! You’d got a sofa set low enough he could hide under it and not be seen easily, not so low he couldn't get comfy. If he camped at the back no-one could grab him before having to move it and let him escape. He looked up at the room and zeroed in on the cherry on top of today's luck; there was a filled plate on a table with a chair pushed back. He took his chance.
Ugh. It was either deal with the gross bird mulch now or spend the whole time finishing lunch thinking about the stuff, so you supposed at least it was done and you had washed up and got back to your… why were there lettuce leaves on your chair and a cherry tomato rolling across the floor?
Chapter 3: The Thief of Giftmas’s Future.
Summary:
Let's pretend this is finished super early for Christmas THIS year!
Hope you enjoyed! I got some more Bitty stories among other ones to come so feel free to author-subscribe to get notified.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
~Surely I’m dreaming, you thought this morning.
Maybe you’d knocked your lunch plate slightly when you rushed to the window yesterday, but now the chunk of bread you’d left on the counter was gone. You were going to use up that end piece with some soup later. …Or had you eaten it and forgotten? Hmm.
Another day, another oddity. You had just finished your morning coffee, and heard papers sliding off the table where you studied.
You got up, went round the corner, and saw it laying on the floor. A draft?... When you came back, the bag of coffee you had been gifted was fallen on its side and spilling out. You were beginning to get suspicious.
Over the next days you began to strain to hear any little sound even though no hint was given. Until you were going through what was basically a junk-drawer for something. And in the next room it sounded like the glass you had a drink in clonked onto the floor and smashed.
Instead of going in there straight away you immediately ducked and dived the other way behind the other door.
Up on the drawer appeared a very scruffy bitty! He looked over his shoulder at the room you would have gone in and dived to grab a fistful of hair-ties of all things from the drawer. He turned and saw you crouching looking up at him. So caught out, you thought fast and blurted a very gratifying; “AHAH! Caught you!”
Amusingly, he yelped a high pitched squeak and vanished. Instead of running outright though you stood in time to see him scowling at you from where he was at your coffee again, grabbing a fistful in his other hand, and vanishing again.
“Did you?!” You dashed into the main living room and this time he apparently wasn't trying to disguise any sounds he made, found-out as he was.
-Crunch-crunch-cronch- came from the Edgy glaring over his shoulder at you, as he shoved coffee past his pointy teeth.
“Noo-oo! Don't eat that straight, surely you can’t like that?!”
The crunching just got faster. He vanished from the spot he’d been stood.
At least the noise should help you find out where he was hiding. You got on the floor and started looking under the furniture, and finally, saw a small mess of stuff that had been accumulated under your sofa, like a nest. You couldn't even see the bitty under there as he had almost built walls, with a few stacked books and cases lined up about halfway back. Well, at least you knew now.
Little did you know; you’d not given your secret guest a great first impression when he fully expected to find junk food on your plate that first day. He’d made all that effort and what was this shit? Salad?? He’d hugged close the tomato and chunk of potato that he hadn't dropped, and decided he was gonna have to stay until he got what you owed him now.
He refused to talk to you, but over the days he gradually got bolder in the shit he pulled.
~That’s my stuff he’s sniping! You mused at the sheer cheek, as he mildly inconvenienced you at most.
From the very start though, you had surprisingly managed to obtain a truce on just one, small act. When you stood up from discovering your little room-mate, you thought for a moment. Then, you went to the kitchen and looked at your half drunk coffee. You opened a cupboard and fished out an egg-cup, scooped out some of your warm, sweetened drink, and walked back into the main room. You weren't exactly expecting much; but left the ‘cup’ on the floor just in front of the sofa.
He drank it, so the next day you poured ‘his’ cup at the same time as yours, but left it on the far end of the table from where you sat instead of delivering it.
The bitty sat in a grump in front of the empty floor of the sofa heard, “It’s gonna get cold!”
A few moments later, a bitty appeared on the table, picked up his drink with a backwards glare, and vanished.
He promptly appeared again just long enough to snatch a piece of your toast that you had made extra of.
~Phone cords he’s keeping. You noted the next day when you found you couldn't charge the mobile you had been reading on most of the morning. That was gonna make things difficult but if you tried asking him to not steal that… Ahhh you’d never see a cable again, you felt. You’re still not sure if he even likes coffee, or just wanted it because you had it. So maybe you’d better just get a new charger and use the phone less for now, you decided.
While you were at it, being near Giftmas now you needed to do some shopping anyway, so you added a few things to keep the bitty occupied.
You hovered over the idea of getting a bitty bath, but how to get him to not refuse to touch it?
On the following days, the bitty found wet-wipes to steal, left out on the lounge table. Cleaning cloths that were nice and soft that made for nice clean bedding! A variety of hair clips and bands dotted around the apartment.
You might have regretted leaving those in his range, considering the wet-wipe trash that appeared strewn about the floor after that.
He saw you come back from shopping walking round all happy, reading the back of some fancy new toothpaste that had a picture of skeleton bitties on it. Insulting! You caught him looking and turned that stupid smirk his way, to which the bitty gave an indignant splutter and ducked out of sight, before watching you walk off with it.
He nabbed that after he spied you put it in the bathroom next to a new half-sized toothbrush. Took that too. Got a bitty pic on it? Must be for bitties, hahahah! He smugly used the stuff on his bones. It… was actually pretty nice stuff. It tingled but it wasn't minty? Kinda reminded him of stuff they used to use at the bitty centre… He hoped you’d get some more when it ran out.
The money he’d been taking was damn useless anyway other than shiny trophies, so it ended up being found back in various places you would come across it again.
~This lazy gremlin… You tried your best not to laugh and wake him up the day you heard a soft grinding noise, and realised it was him snoring under the sofa. He must have been feeling safer to relax more with you around… There were signs he’s been in your bedroom too. You started leaving the door propped ajar in case he got himself trapped in there.
~8 mugs-a-missing, you laughed as you counted under your breath the next day. Why?? Why did he even need those. You wondered if you could risk an arm fishing any you could see back out from his various stashing-places.
He did think about it… Hearing you call out that you were gonna just grab this and that mug from his collection. He even stood in biting distance of that arm reaching in and considered it. But he didn't. And he did his best not to think about why he didn't want to.
~Crayons he’s hoarding now. Not that you needed those anytime soon, at least. You only realised when you saw one roll out from under a unit and get snatched back. He held it to his chest like a treasure and ran back all wide eyed under like he thought you were going to come and take it back off him. Did you dare tell him that was very cute? You managed to find a few more stored away, and just happened to leave those where he might see them.
~6-piece a-nuggets, sat steaming in their box the next day when you decided to get take-out. You started thinking about how you could pretend they were part of your meal, with all your food already in front of you.
“You know what?” You came to a decision for the audience you bet was watching intently; “Nah. This is yours on the table if you want it,” You pushed the box and tissue covered with fries across the table and tucked into your own.
You heard a frustrated sound and doubled down, “Nope. You know I’ve been making extra food for you by now and you've already been taking that just fine.” Your tone turned more gentle, “Come on, those nuggets are perfect right now and I opened those sauce packets for you. You don't have to…”
The Edgy watched the human trail off kinda dejectedly and get up from where they were sat, taking their food to sit in the main room instead. It was clear… but he hesitated and stared in their direction through the door from where he stood on the table in front of the box.
A while later you came back in cautiously, to wash your hands and dump your trash. He was still there on the table, looked up at you from where he was sat, and half turned away to continue chomping into his last nuggets.
You kept your distance in wonder. He didn't teleport away, until he was done.
Later that evening the human knelt in front of his hideaway, didn't say anything, but placed down a little opened clear-plastic package containing some new bitty clothes. They weren't red and black, but nice still. More like your own taste, and nice soft, clean pants and a little sweater.
“It… It’s nearly Giftmas and all. I just think you should have some clean clothes and all?” You chanced. “I know you have one of those super top-range coats for Edgies but it’s so mud caked… I’ll wash it for you? I know you probably wont want to trust me, that’s okay.
… Just wanted to ask.”
You know what? Maybe it was because the coat was so horrendously dirty at this point, but there it was, in front of the sofa in place of the new clothes later.
It was Giftmas day.
You didn't know if he even knew what it was about. But you had stayed here for it this year.
In front of your tree that had mostly survived. (Not unscathed, but the tinsel you placed back up and baubles that were left on the floor back on.) And under it you placed gifts you had been given, only right before you were going to open them. The bitty watched in awe as the weird-ass human he’d been haunting ripped through the pretty paper to their gifts, leaving the paper in a pile and making happy sounds at the items they found each time.
You smiled in his direction a few times from where he sat perched on the sofa arm to watch by this point. When you were done you pushed all the empty papers to the side, and took your pile of stuff away to your room, making a few phone-calls when you got there to say thank-yous. Where the pile had sat, a couple of tiny items were left though. You’d missed them! The bitty looked around and ran over to check them out.
What he found to his surprise was his Edgy range coat, clean as could be and wrapped in a soft bow. It smelled nice! He pulled at the silky bow and held up his beloved, fur lined hooded coat. A few rips had been sewn up and the fluff of the hood was soft again. But there was one tiny wrapped item tucked under it. He held it in his clawed hands and thought about how you’d just been ripping it all, actually hesitated, then tore right in.
From your room you finally heard the first words your bitty squatter said loud enough for you in your apartment. “BLING, BABY! ahahaha!”
You couldn't help a fond chuckle as the bitty discovered your gift to him of a gold plated Edgy speciality necklace and wearable tiny rings,
~”Bay-by’s First Bling” You sing-songed to yourself.
He didn't even know what to do anymore. He wanted to hate you, didn't he?!
The Edgy couldn't stop himself excitedly teleporting in front of you a few times later on as you relaxed in front of the tv. He wanted to show off his sweet stuff! But! Dammit!
Gahh! You were just. You were just getting him this stuff to hold back from him, right- no. That didn't make sense. You were gonna say it was yours still? He owed ya? Yeah! Yeah… that must be…
He spent the night trying to get his head back into the game, feeling the weight of the little gold necklace round his neck.
You were sat on the sofa again the day after Giftmas, having shared another nice dinner with a very grumpy little guy across the table who stared at you like he was trying to figure it all out.
He walked into view on the floor across from where you were sat with your feet stretched out. You didn't dare move, -it was the closest he had gotten to you! He slowly walked right up to your foot, staring up at you the whole time with a frown on his skull. Then looked up with wide, innocent eyesockets. Aw. Was he going to?...
His little phalanges softly laid on your toes as he looked up at you earnestly, and he gripped the material of your sock ever so slightly.
He slowly started to walk backwards.
And your sock started to stretch away.
Your sock came off. The bitty slowly raised his arm.
~He, flips the bird.
And runs off. With your sock. As you lean forward to stare at your now bare foot.
~3 lost pens. So he was back to his tricks. The last one to go missing did so just after you put it down, looked to the side, then grabbed nothing where the pen had been. So it wasn't just you forgetting, you sighed. You thought you had been doing so well!
You were actually out of pens now and really needed to get these notes done for your course. So you went to where the culprit probably was, and knelt by the sofa to lean your head to the floor and peer under. “Hey my friend. You know I don't usually ask for any of it back, but any chance I could have just one of my pens?”
A pen lid flicked you between the eyes.
“Really?” You deadpanned. “Come on I don't deserve that,” You tried to prod.
“...that’s it, aint it?” Came a little gruff voice from the depths of his realm.
You didn't really know what to make of that, so simply asked, “What’s it? The pen?”
“your pens.”
You wanted to respond but hedged that he seemed just getting started on something, so kept quiet and waited a moment.
"yer colourful stuff…
yer paper rolls… “
(‘toilet rolls?’) your eyes flicked to the side in bemusement.
“yer food… "
(Your favourite was when you did pancakes for him and he fell over backwards trying to carry one unrolled.)
“... yer shoe…”
(‘I’m missing a shoe?’)
“... yer stuffed bunny ya kept…”
(Aww! And you just bought that recently actually, not as a kid.)
“...yer shinies…”
(You would LOVE to know what exactly he’d been stashing.)
“... yer phone… “
Your expression blue-screened briefly, and you glanced to the side table where your phone had very recently been. He seemed to be finished so you were about to say something when (!)
Two little red eyelights appeared under there, and the bitty walked out. You scooted back to give him space.
As soon as he appeared, his head was down and he was holding his necklace under his chin. In a soft, accusing tone he said, “of course you want it all back…
none of it’s really mine.”
“No!” you butt-in as gently as you could, and he glanced up at you with a pained look. “That’s yours. I mean it. I got that for you as a giftmas present. That makes it yours. The food is yours too! And I really don't mind about most of the stuff you’ve had. I mean, I kinda need the phone back… And maybe some other stuff. -But!”
“yeah right. she gave me this coat too, but it was still hers.
just like this necklace is still yers.” His voice was gravelly and trembling now, and he was scrunching himself lower into himself. “all the best stuff like that is too good to give to a bitty.”
“No its not. That’s yours. I promise.” He looked up at you and you could see him trying to push away tears in his eyesockets. “I gave you that as a present because I care about you. It’s really yours.”
~’Too hurt to love. Don't let him be too hurt to love’, you thought.
“she took everything from me!”
He started sobbing, and you couldn't hold back any longer. You dived in to gently hold your hands around him and bought him up to hug at your chest.
He felt terrified for just a moment. But he gave up. If this was it, so be it, he thought. Just go ahead and prove it all. He was so unused to caring contact he just wanted to savour being held like this, even if it was fake, and only for a moment before the human gave up the act and it all got taken away again.
“I won't." You said instead.
You both ended up sat like that for a long while. He cried some more and clung onto you, and you rubbed his little back lightly. After a while you both began talk in earnest. About his past, about the life you wanted to give him, about maybe he’d be okay with an owner like you even if you turned up late and shoulda shoved that bitch outta the way in the shop…
“You know”, you said. “I got you one more thing, but I didn't know if you'd like it so I just kinda left it in the drawer… Oh! And… if you like I could give you a name. You know, since that other one, when you think about it…didn't count?" you offered to undo that hurtful slight for him. “How about Odysseus. Odysseus of Ithaca?”
His little face looked stunned. That sounded like a big name, like it was for someone important. But it was. For... him?
"It's kinda a hero name. I think it really suits you. It was a guy who had an epic journey before he finally made it home."
Not long later on...
~And so sat on his human; 🎵🎝♫ A Bit-ty in a onesie. 🎵🎝♫
Notes:
In case you wondered:
Twelfth day: 12 drummers drumming - Surely I’m dreaming
Eleventh day: 11 pipers piping - My stuff he’s sniping
Tenth day: 10 lords a-leaping - Phone cords he’s keeping
Ninth day: 9 ladies dancing - This lazy gremlin
Eighth day: 8 maids a-milking - 8 mugs a missing
Seventh day: 7 swans a-swimming - Crayons he’s hoarding
Sixth day: 6 geese a-laying - 6 piece a’ nuggets
Fifth day: 5 golden rings - BABY’S FIRST BLING
Fourth day: 4 calling birds - He flips the bird
Third day: 3 French hens - 3 lost pens
Second day: 2 turtledoves - Too hurt to love
First day: Partridge in a pear tree - A Bitty in a onesie
SeveralThings on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Apr 2025 11:02PM UTC
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Salzab on Chapter 1 Sun 27 Apr 2025 11:43PM UTC
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TZWriter on Chapter 1 Sat 30 Aug 2025 10:59AM UTC
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TZWriter on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Aug 2025 11:23AM UTC
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Isopod_go_nyoom on Chapter 3 Mon 25 Aug 2025 04:03PM UTC
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Salzab on Chapter 3 Fri 05 Sep 2025 12:17AM UTC
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