On purpose

by cozy_sunshine

Summary:

Ollie was nervous when they announced who was going to be his teammate in 2024. A prodigy who skipped Formula 3 and everyone claimed he was going to be the next Lewis Hamilton or Max Verstappen.
Andrea Kimi Antonelli.
Future Formula 1 World Champion.

 

Ollie’s POV

Spanish version available on my profile.

Chapter 1: PREMA, first contact

Ollie was nervous when they announced who was going to be his teammate in 2024. A prodigy who skipped Formula 3 and everyone claimed he was going to be the next Lewis Hamilton or Max Verstappen.

Andrea Kimi Antonelli.

Future Formula 1 World Champion.

 

A boy a year younger than him. An Italian driver who shunned the shadow and legacy of the scuderia rosso corsa for the silver shine of the team that had awarded most of its championships to one of the future legends of the sport. Without even sparing a glance at the crimson reflection, despite what was expected. Creating surreal hopes and breaking expectations painted in blood red.

 

Ollie had heard countless stories about Kimi Antonelli, stories that spoke of a raw, almost superhuman talent that had led him to excel in every category he had competed in. Kimi was not just another young, promising driver; he was a phenomenon, someone destined to change the sport. He would affect the category as Sebastian Vettel had done before him.

 

The day they met at the team headquarters, he felt a knot in his stomach. Even though they had interacted before, this was going to be different. They were going to be PREMA drivers together.

He had seen Kimi on the news, on the circuits, always surrounded by rumors and speculation about his future. But in person, he had a different presence. His intense gaze seemed to assess every detail, every person around him, and Ollie couldn't help but wonder what he thought of him.

The introduction was brief, almost formal, but he couldn't ignore the spark of something more he perceived in the other's eyes when they shook hands for the first time. A chill ran down his spine, and he couldn't help but think that this would be an interesting season.

As they prepared for the season, the relationship between the two was transformed. Ollie felt the pressure to live up to what was expected of him, not only as the veteran in the team, but also as Kimi Antonelli’s teammate. 

The Italian’s shadow was long and, although he tried not to be intimidated, Ollie couldn’t help but feel a little overshadowed by the brilliance of the young prodigy. He felt the constant need to prove that he was worthy of his place in the team and on his path to Formula 1, that he wasn’t just there to complete the picture, but to be a real competitor.

As time went on, however, Ollie began to notice a shift in their dynamic. Kimi, despite his reputation and the almost supernatural aura surrounding him, was neither unapproachable nor aloof. In fact, there was something about the way Kimi behaved around him that was disarming. He treated him with an unexpected warmth , a kind of camaraderie that he hadn’t anticipated. There were times when banter would naturally flow between them, breaking the tension that Ollie had initially felt.

Familiarity makes the heart grow fonder, after all. They already joked with each other and ate together frequently, seeking out secluded tables where they could talk without the pressure of prying eyes or having to get through heavy chatter with mechanics and engineers. There was a growing ease in their interactions, a comfort they both found in each other's presence.

 

Sometimes, as they shared a meal or simply strolled around the paddock, Ollie would find himself watching Kimi, fascinated by how someone so young could carry so much weight without flinching. Answering questions with natural mastery and facing criticism without hesitation. And yet, every time Kimi smiled, said a kind word to him, or simply sat down next to him after looking around for him in a room, Ollie felt that burden become a little lighter. 

 

There was something special about the way Kimi looked at him, as if he saw more in him than Ollie himself saw.

That relationship, which had started with so much uncertainty, was solidifying into something more meaningful. Ollie no longer saw Kimi as just the prodigy destined to be a legend, but as someone to share the journey with, someone he could be himself with because he knew he wouldn’t be judged at any point. A person who understood (perhaps better than anyone) what he felt at that moment.

Still, he realized that the closer they became, the more attention the Italian required. Kimi had a way of claiming his time that didn’t leave much room for others. It was subtle, almost imperceptible to anyone who didn’t know him as he was coming to do. A casual invitation to have dinner together after a long day of testing, a conversation that extended beyond what was necessary in the garage, or even those moments when he would simply appear at his side out of nowhere.

Kimi wasn't one to express his personal emotions openly, and that only made Ollie wonder more about what was really going on in his mind. There were times when he wished desperately that he would open up more, to stop hiding what he really felt behind that confident façade. He wanted to understand him, to know what was behind that unbreakable mask, but he knew that would only happen if Kimi allowed it to happen.

Was it insecurity? Fear of being left out? Or maybe, just a way for Kimi to protect something he valued more than he was willing to admit.

He wished he could get into that part of him he kept hidden, but he knew that pushing him too hard might make him pull away, and that was the last thing he wanted. Deep down, what he longed for most was for Kimi to trust him enough to show him who he really was, without reservations, without fears. But until that moment came, Ollie would have to navigate the waters of their relationship carefully.

As their friendship blossomed, Ollie couldn't help but become increasingly intrigued by the enigma that was Kimi Antonelli.

Whenever Ollie tried to get closer to a more personal side of his teammate, he was met with a barrier. He didn't reject him or push him away, he simply changed the subject, or disguised his emotions with a smile or a joke. It was frustrating, because he wanted to know him better, he wanted to understand what was going on in his head when the cameras disappeared and the lights of the track went out. But Kimi, in that natural way of his, managed to keep things on the surface, as if he was afraid that letting him in would mean losing some of that control he valued so much.

 

What seemed strange to him was that, despite the boy's withdrawn attitude, he was very interested in getting to know him on a personal level. Something that he showed no signs of wanting to reciprocate at any time, and that frustrated the Brit.

At times he felt overwhelmed by the magnitude of everything Kimi represented. It wasn’t just the fact that he was a prodigy, it was that it seemed like everyone in the team, and even in the paddock, gravitated towards him. Kimi had a charisma that drew people to him, a light that made everyone want to be around him, but which also made Ollie feel, at times, as if he was in his shadow. It wasn’t easy to be alongside someone who, despite his youth, was already considered the future of motorsport. He couldn’t help but compare himself to him, and although he knew he was a talented driver in his own right, there were times when he felt like he wasn’t quite up to par, as if his own brilliance was being overshadowed by the Italian’s glow.

That insecurity sometimes ate at him inside. He tried hard to stay strong, to prove that he could be at that level too, but there were days when doubts assailed him, when he wondered if the team and the press only saw him as the “other” driver, the one who was there to complement the real talent. The loyal squire. That pressure was a constant weight on his mind, and although Kimi never made him feel less than, Ollie couldn’t avoid the comparison. Kimi seemed to move through life with an ease that he found difficult to replicate, there were times when the feeling of not being up to par became unbearable.

But despite everything, Ollie couldn’t imagine his life without that constant presence. Kimi, for all his complexities, had become essential to him. There was a growing trust between them, a connection that grew stronger with each day they spent together, and although Ollie still wondered what it all meant, he knew he was willing to move on, waiting for the day when Kimi would finally open up completely, showing him that side of himself that he so jealously guarded.

 

---

 

The soft lights of the evening filtered through the curtains as Ollie and Kimi sat on the latter's bed. They were done with work for the day and had decided to hang out together, as was their custom nowadays.

Kimi, cross-legged on the bed, leaned against the wall as he played with a keychain in his hands. Ollie sat beside him, leaning against the headboard, his legs drawn up and his body facing the other.

 

“Allora, orsetto,” Kimi began, using one of his usual nicknames for Ollie, with a playful smile. That word never failed to bring a curve to his face. “What are we planning for tonight? Movie and dinner again?”

He rolled his eyes and gave him an amused look. “What about you, Antonelli? Don’t you have any secret plans prepared? You always have something up your sleeve,” he commented, recalling some times when the other had, in fact, prepared something for the afternoon.

 

Kimi shrugged, still smiling.

 

“No, I just wanted to relax for a while,” he said, stretching out on the bed until he was lying down, arms behind his head. “But if you have any fun ideas, I’m all ears.”

 

Ollie looked at him, feeling more relaxed at the sight of him being so carefree. He was surprised at how easy it was for him to alternate between seriousness and this playful side.

 

“We could have dinner and watch something on TV, like last time,” he suggested, settling himself more comfortably in bed. “Or we could just talk. I don’t know, I feel like there’s always something else I’m not telling you.”

Kimi raised an eyebrow, curious. “Oh, yeah? What are you hiding from me, Ollie?” he asked, with a mix of mockery and genuine interest. “Qualcosa di eccitante?”

Ollie laughed softly, shaking his head. “It’s nothing exciting, it’s just… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like we talk too much about the team and about the season and not enough about other things,” he said, watching Kimi closely. “And I want to know more about you. Kimi. Not just the driver.”

 

Kimi was silent for a moment, his expression softening, and he sat up a little, moving closer to Ollie.

 

“Capisco,” he replied in a lower voice. “You’re right, sometimes I forget there’s more to life than just racing.”

 

Ollie nodded, smiling. Glad he understood his point of view.

 

“Esatto. What do you like to do when you’re not on the track? Something other than the simulator, obviously,” he teased, giving him a little nudge on the leg with his foot.

 

Kimi laughed, his smile lighting up his face again.

 

“Eh, I like to cook. I’m not a great chef, but it reminds me of home,” he confessed, surprising the Brit. “And I love music. I always have headphones on me.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed,” he replied, genuinely interested and somewhat surprised that Kimi finally gave him more elaborate answers about his tastes. “And what kind of music do you listen to?”

 

Kimi cocked his head in thought.

 

“A bit of everything, but mostly Italian rock and some electronica,” he replied, watching Ollie curiously. “E tu? Anything I don’t know about you, orsetto?”

“I like to draw,” he admitted with a shrug, his face slightly red. He didn't usually tell that to many people. “I do it when I want to relax, it helps me clear my mind.”

Kimi looked at him with a surprised expression. “È fantastico,” he said, smiling in admiration. “Maybe one day you can show me some of what you’ve done.”

 

Ollie smiled nervously, feeling a little embarrassed remembering that the last pages of his notebook would have to disappear so he could show it to him. Lately he had a habit of drawing some very familiar chocolate curls and brown eyes. 

Yes, he would definitely have to tear off a few pages.

 

“Maybe. We could exchange hobbies, I could show you my drawings and you could teach me how to cook,” he offered, thinking only of Kimi cooking and taking his hand to help him cut something and…

 

The younger one laughed and nodded, patting him lightly on the knee.

 

“We will do that, orsetto,” he said, with a smile that made Ollie feel warm inside.

 

The conversation continued, fluid and natural, with Kimi and Ollie sharing more details of their lives off the asphalt. As they talked, the night wore on and the evening lights gave way to a quiet twilight. 

 

The older boy, relaxed, let himself fall closer to Kimi, resting his head on the Italian's shoulder with a familiarity they had both learned to enjoy, letting him trace circles with his fingers through his t-shirt.

It was a small gesture, almost imperceptible, but full of meaning in their growing friendship. He felt the warmth of Kimi’s body through the thin fabric, and although he tried to stay focused on the conversation, his mind wandered to that silent connection that was forming between them. Grateful, he thought that he was finally managing to discover those parts that the other so jealously hid.

The Brit, eyes half closed, relaxed completely on the shoulder, as if the weight of the world had vanished. And, although he didn't say anything, the ease in the younger's posture spoke more than words could ever express. At that moment, the prodigy pilot was not the boy everyone was talking about, but just a young man enjoying the company of someone he felt comfortable with. 

He liked that, that Kimi was calm.

 

“You know, Ollie,” he murmured, breaking the silence that had formed, “I never thought it would be so easy to find someone I was so comfortable with on the team.”

 

He smiled, turning his gaze to the Italian.

 

“I guess I didn’t expect it either,” he replied, his voice soft. “But I’m glad it happened that way.”

 

Kimi turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting Ollie’s. There was a softness in his gaze, one that only Ollie had ever seen in those quiet moments.

 

“Grazie, orsetto,” he said simply, but the sincerity in his words made Ollie feel a heavy lump in his chest. 

 

He didn’t answer right away, just nodded and moved a little closer to the warm body holding him, closing his eyes as if he could fall asleep at any moment.

 

The silence settled again, comfortable, filled with a peace they both needed. Without the pressures of the team, without the gaze of the world upon them, it was just Ollie and Kimi.

And, in that moment, that was all they needed.

 

 

Notes:

This story has been in my drafts for more months than Kimi's, and it's been a bit of a struggle to get around to publishing it. I've written, read, and rewritten it more times than I can count (I'm still doing so right now), and the final chapters aren't finished yet (the plan is to publish one chapter a week—on Saturdays—so I'm sure I'll have no trouble finishing them in time to avoid any hiatuses), but I've been dying to share this story😊

As you can see in the summary, this part is from Ollie's POV, and in the series, you can find Kimi's. This was the first part I started writing in this series, so it's special to me.
Both are linear in the 2024 season, and will have mostly the same moments, but not all scenes are shared, and the differences between the two's thoughts are one of the peculiarities (and difficulties) of the series, which I hope you enjoy :)

I'll also be posting extras as I progress 😉

I really appreciate the kudos and comments 🌻

Chapter 2: Jeddah, first curve

March 9, 2024. Saturday. 

The Jeddah Corniche Circuit stretched out before Ollie like an imposing challenge.

 

It wasn’t just another race; it was his first time competing in a Formula 1 Grand Prix. His debut. And not with just any team, but with Ferrari. He would be racing in the colours of the great Scuderia Ferrari. 

 

At eighteen, he had already achieved what many could only dream of, but the pressure was intense. The media was talking about him as one of the most promising young talents, a future in Formula 1 almost assured. But Ollie knew that words meant nothing if he couldn't prove his worth on the track. 

 

Especially because of that almost.

Almost assured.

 

---

 

March 8. Friday.

 

The atmosphere in the garage was frenetic. Engineers and mechanics were moving with millimetre precision, fine-tuning every detail on the car he would be driving; changing the name on the box, the number on the car. It was all a race against time to make sure everything was ready. But as they worked around him, he felt trapped in a bubble, his breathing ragged, his hands slightly shaking. He had barely had time to prepare himself; the call to replace Carlos had come at such short notice that he hadn’t been able to fully take it in. 

A few hours ago he was celebrating his pole position in F2 with the team. And now, the weight of the situation fell on his shoulders. Replacing Carlos Sainz Jr at Ferrari. In Formula 1.

 

He went back to the hotel.

The news had exploded in the media like a bomb. Everything had happened so fast that Ollie had barely had time to actually understand what was really happening, let alone personally inform everyone he would have liked to know. So when his phone rang and the name screen he saw on the screen was Kimi's, the first feeling that took over his body was guilt. He had been so immersed in the chaos that he hadn't had a chance to warn his teammate.

 

"Kimi, I'm so so sorry," was the first thing he said when he answered the call, his voice a little shaky with emotion. "It's all been so chaotic that I haven't even had time to tell you..."

“Non ti preoccupare, orsetto,” he interrupted him in a surprisingly calm tone. “I heard from the team. The important thing is that you're okay. Are you still in the same hotel, or have you been moved to Ferrari's?”

 

Ollie, still feeling overwhelmed, answered almost automatically.

 

“I'm in the same hotel. They haven't had time to make any changes.”

 

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line, followed by a simple ‘Va bene’ before Kimi suddenly hung up, leaving Ollie a little taken aback and even more nervous.

Shortly after, a soft knock on the door made him jump. He wasn’t expecting visitors, and when he opened it, there he was, with a determined expression and a calm that contrasted with Ollie’s inner chaos.

 

“Kimi…” he whispered, surprised by his teammate’s quick appearance.

 

Before he could say anything else, Kimi entered the room and hugged him tightly. The gesture was so unexpected that he stilled, feeling the warmth of the hug, the reassuring pressure of Kimi’s arms around him.

 

“How are you?” he asked, his voice soft as he pulled back enough to look into his eyes.

 

Ollie watched him, caught between confusion and relief at his presence in the room. After a second, he managed to find the words.

 

“I’m not sure,” he admitted, his voice barely a whisper, laden with the nervousness that had consumed him since he heard the news.

 

Kimi nodded, understanding without the need for further words. With a firm hand, he guided him towards the bed, urging him to sit down. Ollie obeyed, still feeling the weight of the hug on his shoulders, as if the Italian’s energy had left a warm imprint on his skin. Kimi sat beside him, their closeness comforting. He didn’t say anything, he let the silence between them fill. Then Ollie finally broke the tension he felt.

 

“It’s just… it’s too much. Everything happened so fast, I didn’t even have time to mentally prepare myself,” he confessed, his voice laced with frustration and fear. “What if I don’t do it right? What if all those comments in the press, about me being just a long shot, are right?”

 

Kimi kept his hand on his, squeezing it lightly, a small gesture but full of meaning for him. Physical contact helped him be more present in the situation.

 

“Ollie, being nervous is normal,” Kimi’s voice was low, soft, filled with a calm that was also being helpful. “But listen, no one would be here if they didn’t believe you could do it. Ferrari chose you for a reason to be their reserve.”

 

Ollie nodded, though the uncertainty still rumbled in his chest. The weight of expectation, the pressure of replacing a driver like Carlos Sainz, felt like a mountain he had to climb with every breath. He didn't think he would be able to cope with what was happening. 

 

He wanted his father with him. A hug from him and to be told that everything would be okay.

 

“But…” he began, his voice shaking. “It’s Ferrari, Kimi. It’s the team with the most history, the most pressure. Everyone is waiting for me to fail or be a big revelation. I’m not Carlos, and much less will I have a debut like Lewis Hamilton. I’ve barely had time to adapt to the car, and…”

 

Kimi cut him off gently, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

 

“Ollie, stop for a moment.” He looked at him with an intensity that forced him to focus. “Sure, it’s Ferrari, and yes, the pressure is enormous. But you’ve earned this place. You’ve worked hard to be here, and you have the talent. I’ve seen it myself,” he reassured sincerely. “And it doesn't matter what people you don't even know expect of you. You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations but yourself.”

 

He looked away, trying to process the words. He appreciated his support, but the doubt still lingered, like a shadow he couldn’t shake. The responsibility he felt on his shoulders was overwhelming, and the voice of insecurity was hard to silence.

Kimi, evidently sensing his internal struggle, did something that surprised him. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against the Brit's, a gesture laden with affection. The contact was comforting, anchoring Ollie in the present, taking him away from his chaotic thoughts.

 

“Look, I know this is big, I know it seems impossible, but you got here for a reason. No one can take that away from you. And as for the pressure… you don’t have to carry it alone. I’m here, and the team is here to support you too.” Kimi pulled back just enough to look him in the eyes. “Take it one step at a time. Focus on what you can control. And remember, it’s not just about proving something to others, it’s about proving to yourself what you’re capable of.”

 

Ollie fell silent, feeling Kimi’s words pierce the fog of his anxiety. Slowly, a sense of determination began to take shape, pushing aside the fears that had been paralyzing him.

 

“You’re right,” he finally murmured, his voice firmer, though it still held some fragility. “I can’t let all this consume me before I’ve even started. I just need… I need to trust myself.” 

Kimi smiled, a small but genuine smile. “Esatto. Trust yourself, and what you can do. Stop for a second to breathe if you need to. You’re an amazing driver, Oliver. Don’t forget that.”

 

The use of his name didn’t escape either of them. Kimi didn’t use it unless he was dead serious and wanted to convey that importance. He was only honest when he called him Oliver, he never lied.

 

The British took a deep breath, taking in everything the other had said and trying to control the rush of heat he felt in his cheeks. The pressure was evidently still there, but the desperation was beginning to fade, replaced by a tenacity that, though faint, was real.

 

“Grazie, Kimi,” he finally said, his voice more confident. “Really, thank you for being here.”

 

Kimi let go of his hand, but didn't go far. He patted him gently on the shoulder and stood up.

 

"Sempre, orsetto. And now, get some rest. Tomorrow is an important day, but tonight you need to sleep."

 

Ollie nodded, glancing at him briefly as he left the room. When the door closed behind him, sat up in bed, feeling the mix of emotions inside him finally begin to sort themselves out.

 

---

 

March 9, 2024. Saturday.

 

The Jeddah Corniche Circuit stretched out before him.

He put on his helmet, the familiar feel of the padding enveloping his head. As he adjusted the straps, he let the determination he had found the night before wash over him again.

The nerves were still there, pulsing beneath the surface, but there was something else now: a clear purpose, a defined goal. He was here to compete, to prove himself not just to others, but to himself.

 

When the engineer gave him the signal that the car was ready, Ollie nodded. He climbed into the car, letting the sound of the engines and the bustle of the garage fade into the background. 

 

The Jeddah track stretched out before him, challenging and bright under the circuit lights.

It was his moment, and he was ready to face it.

Notes:

Where can I find someone who will support me as much as Kimi does Ollie on this story?🥹

Chapter 3: Imola, first change

The sun was shining high above in the sky, shedding golden light over the Imola circuit. It was a perfect morning for a race, but in the garage, the tension was palpable. Ollie could feel it in the air, in the murmurs of the team as they finalised their preparations, and in Kimi’s gaze, which seemed more intense than usual.

It had been a few races now, but this was the first in Italy, and he knew what it meant to Kimi. He watched from a distance as he prepared. The driver was sitting on a bench in the far corner of the garage, looking at something on a tablet. There was a calmness to his movements, but Ollie could see past that façade. Kimi was focused, yes, but there was also an underlying tension in his posture, a nervousness that Ollie had come to recognise over time.

He approached him, his footsteps echoing softly on the garage floor.

 

“How are you?” he asked, his voice soft.

 

Kimi looked up, and for a brief moment, all the tension seemed to melt from his face at the sight of him.

 

“Bene,” he replied with a half smile which didn’t reach his eyes. “More than ready.”

 

He didn’t sit down immediately. He stood in front of him, watching his gestures, the small nervous movements of his fingers as he finished turning off and putting away the tablet. 

There was a stillness between them, a silence that didn’t need to be filled, but Ollie felt the urge to break it the same way.

 

“Something’s bothering you,” he said, leaning slightly toward the Italian, invading his personal space in a way that felt as natural to him as breathing nowadays. “It’s not just the race, is it?”

 

Kimi sighed, a low sound that barely broke the silence between them.

 

“It’s Italy. Everything feels… bigger here. Like there’s more at stake.”

 

Ollie nodded, fully understanding what he meant. He felt the same way when they raced at Silverstone. That tingling, that need to give it all, to prove his worth. That hunger to sweep everything away.

Kimi looked up, the eyes searching for something in his. There was an intensity in that gaze, a mix of emotions that Ollie hadn't seen in Kimi before.

 

"Non voglio fallire. Not here. Not in front of all of them..."

 

Ollie felt a warmth in his chest as he heard those words come out of Kimi’s mouth. It was the first time the Italian had opened up so openly, exposing that fear of failure he’d always sensed but had never heard so directly. The way Kimi spoke, with a vulnerability he usually kept hidden, surprised him and at the same time filled him with relief. He knew how difficult it must be for him, how much it meant to him that he allowed himself to be so transparent. He’d always known that beneath that calm, confident façade there was much more, now he was finally managing to scratch beneath the surface, to access something much deeper and more meaningful.

It wasn't that Kimi was a complete mystery to Ollie; he was hard to read, but there were things that were obvious, and over time he had learned to read his silences, to interpret his glances and subtle gestures. But Kimi had always been reserved, and Ollie understood that, respected it, but it was frustrating at times. He could sense what was going on inside Kimi, but he never got confirmation of his own assumptions.

He couldn't help him or support him if he didn't know what was going on. But now that was all changing. For the first time, Kimi wasn't just letting his personal emotions show; he was putting them into words, bringing them into the space between them, allowing Ollie to hear them, to understand them. And that was more comforting than he'd imagined. Knowing that Kimi was beginning to trust him enough to show him that part of himself made his heart swell with the desire to let him know that he wasn't alone in this, that he would always be there for him, if he wanted him to be.

 

Ollie moved closer, taking a seat beside him in silence. The proximity between them felt like a breath of fresh air amidst the tension of the day. His leg brushing against the other’s, close enough to feel the warmth emanating from his body. There was no need to say anything at that moment, because their closeness, the simple act of being there, already said much more than any words could express.

The tension he had seen in Kimi's shoulders, the worry he had read in his eyes, everything that had kept him on the defensive, seemed to take a backseat temporarily. He knew this was a big step for him, and he appreciated it more than he could show. He wanted to reciprocate this gesture by being the person Kimi could lean on.

 

“You won’t. And even if you did, it wouldn’t change anything. We’re in this together, Kimi.”

 

Without thinking, as if his body was acting on instinct before his mind could process it, he reached out and placed his hand gently on the younger's. As soon as he touched his skin, he felt a kind of subtle shock run through his fingers. It was an impulsive gesture, almost unconscious, and for a second he thought about pulling his hand away, afraid that Kimi might misinterpret it, that maybe it was too much for the moment, that he would scare him away like a deer with the slightest noise. But he couldn't.

Kimi didn't pull away either. Not only did he not move or show discomfort, but to his surprise, he intertwined the fingers with his. He squeezed his hand gently, but firmly. It was as if, by closing the space between their hands, Kimi was also closing the distance he had maintained for so long.

The electricity in the air became more palpable, and Ollie felt it run through his entire body, from the tips of his fingers to his chest, where his heart seemed to beat with renewed intensity. Kimi’s hand was warm, strong, and his thumb moved lightly, tracing a circle over his skin, as if trying to calm the emotions bubbling beneath the surface. As if he knew what he was doing to Ollie.

He couldn't ignore what was happening, even if he wasn't ready to face it. That subtle current between them, that tension that had been latent in the air since they met.

 

Kimi was silent for a moment, just staring at their intertwined hands. When he finally spoke, his voice was a whisper laden with meaning. 

 

“You know, I don’t usually let people get this close to me. Ma con te… It’s different. I feel… comfortable.”

 

Ollie felt a lump form in his throat as soon as Kimi's words hung in the air. It struck something deep inside him. He'd seen so many versions of Kimi: the reserved boy, the competitive one, the joker... But this version, the one he was showing him right now, the one he was letting him see was one that few people could have ever known. One of his favorites, without a doubt. The version that, with just a whisper, let him see a vulnerability he would never have imagined the other was capable of expressing in public.

The words rang in Ollie’s head like a bell, echoing as he tried to process what they meant. Kimi, who had always been so contained, who kept others at a distance, was telling him that he was different. That he was an exception to this rule he had been following for so long.

Ollie could feel his heart beating faster with each passing second. He was breathless. He felt the lump in his throat tighten even more, almost suffocating, as emotion welled up inside him. In a world where Kimi always seemed to be in control, where he rarely allowed himself to let his guard down, Ollie provided him with a sense of security, of reassurance.

 

Finally, his lips parted, and in a hoarse, slightly shaky voice, he let out the words he’d been searching for, “Me too.” There was a pause, a deep breath as he tried to gather his thoughts, before he continued. “You make me feel safe when I’m with you.”

 

Kimi smiled, a small but genuine smile that he had come to appreciate deeply, because it was one he rarely showed. 

 

“I'm glad to hear that,” he whispered, and then he leaned into Ollie, resting his forehead against his.

 

The contact was unexpected, but not uncomfortable. Ollie felt the warmth of the skin against his, the softness of his breathing, the slight tremor that ran through their bodies. It was an intimate gesture, filled with a tenderness he hadn’t anticipated, but which he welcomed without reservation.

 

“This… this calms me down,” Kimi murmured, keeping their foreheads pressed together. “You calm me down.”

 

Ollie closed his eyes, allowing the moment to wash over him. It was as if everything else faded away, leaving only the feeling of each other so close, the tangible connection they shared. 

 

“Then stay like this,” he replied in a whisper, his words laden with an emotion he could barely contain, pleading silently for the other to stay like that for a moment longer. Just for a second.

 

The stillness between them was filled with meaning. Ollie could feel Kimi's need to be close to him at that instance, and that need was reflected in himself. There was more than just companionship in this moment; it was a mutual understanding, no words needed.

Finally, the Italian slowly pulled away, but their hands were still entwined, a contact he didn’t seem willing to break. Their eyes met, and Ollie saw something new in Kimi’s, an intensity that seemed almost… desperate. But there was no aggression in it, just a deep need, he didn’t know what for yet.

 

“You’ve become very important to me, Ollie,” he admitted, his voice low and laden with sincerity.

 

Ollie felt his heart race. He knew Kimi’s words carried a weight that went beyond the simple friendship without ties they had carried until now. There was something more at play here, something he was beginning to admit but couldn’t quite define yet. 

 

“You are to me, too,” he replied, and those words seemed to cement something between them.

 

Kimi nodded, gently squeezing his hand before finally letting go, albeit with obvious reluctance.

 

“Come on, we still have to go eat,” he said, his voice returning to normal, but still imbued with that intensity he had learned to recognize.

 

Ollie smiled, nodding. They stood up together, aware that something had changed. There was a new dimension to their relationship, something they couldn't ignore and that somehow brought them closer together.

 

“By the way,” Ollie turned towards the voice. “Happy birthday again.”

 

The Brit laughed.

 

“You already called me.”

“Yeah, but now I'm telling you in person. Buon compleanno, orsetto.”

“Grazie, Kimi.”

Notes:

Of course, Kimi had to qualify in Italy like this after so many good races. Poor thing :(

Chapter 4: Silverstone, first overtake

July 4, 2024. 

 

Summer was in full swing, but for him the temperature was nothing compared to the warm feeling he felt when his contract with Haas was announced. 

Just before the Silverstone Grand Prix, confirmed among the 20 drivers who would participate in Formula 1 in 2025. He felt like he was going to explode from the joy that overwhelmed him.

He found him in a secluded corner of the PREMA building, going over some notes. The bustle of the workers was far away, but the noise in his mind only grew louder. He approached Kimi with a determined stride, though his insides were filled with doubt. He wanted him to hear the news from his mouth, not from a headline on the news or an Instagram post in a few hours when it was announced.

Kimi looked up when he sensed his presence, his chocolate eyes flashing with curiosity. 

 

“Ollie?” he asked, putting aside the papers in his hands. “Everything okay?”

 

He gulped, feeling his nerves starting to betray him, but he took a step closer, until he was close enough to feel the warmth that always seemed to emanate from Kimi. 

 

“I have something important to tell you,” he began, his voice more serious than usual, causing Kimi to frown slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone calm, but he could detect a hint of concern.

 

Taking a deep breath, he decided there was no turning back. 

 

“I’m going to be a Formula 1 Haas driver next year,” he said abruptly, his eyes fixed on Kimi’s, nervously searching for his reaction.

 

For a moment, Kimi was silent, his eyes scanning him as if he were also searching for something in his words, or perhaps his expression. Then, a slow smile began to form on his lips, and before he could process what was happening, Kimi stepped forward and enveloped him in a strong, protective hug, pulling him into his body with a firmness that left no room for doubt.

 

“I knew you would do it,” he murmured in his ear, his voice low and full of pride. “Lo sapevo, orsetto.”

 

He stood still for a second, feeling the warmth of the hug calming all the nerves he had been building up. Slowly, he raised his arms and wrapped them around Kimi, allowing himself to enjoy this moment, this connection. 

 

“I wanted to tell you before the news came out. I didn’t want you to find out from anyone but me,” he confessed, his voice somewhat muffled against the Italian’s shoulder.

 

Kimi squeezed him a little tighter.

 

“I appreciate you telling me personally. It means a lot,” he said, and there was such pure sincerity in his words that Ollie felt a lump form in his throat.

 

Finally, Kimi pulled away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. 

 

“Remember, Ollie, no matter how far you go, I’ll always be here, following you,” he added, his hand sliding a strand of hair behind Ollie’s ear, a gesture so intimate it made him shiver slightly.

 

---

 

The sprint race was an opportunity for Ollie. He knew that after Haas’ announcement the media would be watching him, but things didn’t go as he expected. 

While Kimi was fighting fiercely for the win, he encountered technical problems that forced him to retire. Frustration and helplessness hit him like a wave, and while Kimi crossed the finish line in first place, Ollie slipped into the shadows, silently heading to his room in the paddock.

There, as he fell onto the small bed, he felt the weight of disappointment crushing him. He wished he could feel full of joy at Kimi's success, celebrate with him. He closed his eyes, trying to push away the dark thoughts, but frustration still lurked, unable to shake it off.

The silence was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. He opened his eyes, his heart skipping a beat as he recognized the sound of footsteps on the other side. Before he could react, the door swung open, and there stood Kimi, a determined expression and energy filling the room.

 

"Get up, Ollie," he said, his tone warm, but with an underlying firmness that made it clear he wasn't about to take no for granted.

“Kimi, you don’t have to—” he began, his voice shaky with emotion, but before he could finish, the other driver had already crossed the room, pulling him up from the bed. The strength in Kimi’s grip was unmistakable, and though he tried to resist, he knew it was a lost battle. 

 

As soon as he stood up, he felt his legs tremble slightly, emotional exhaustion taking its toll on his body. Instinctively, he took a small step towards Kimi, almost reaching for his help, but stopping just before being able to reach him, unsure whether he should do so.

Without saying a word, Kimi loosened his grip on his wrist and, with a gentleness that contrasted with his previous gestures, he slid his hand to his teammate's back, resting it there firmly but carefully, and guiding him towards him. Ollie hesitated, but when he felt the warmth of Kimi's hand on his back, he leaned slightly towards him, almost without realizing what he was doing, looking for support to relieve the weight he felt.

 

"I’m not going to leave you here alone, hiding like you've done something wrong," Kimi said, his tone authoritative, causing the Briton's remaining resistance to crumble. "Come on."

 

With a firm hand on the small of his back, Kimi guided him through the paddock corridors to the car that would take them to the hotel area. Ollie walked silently, his shoulders slightly slumped. 

Every now and then, his fingers would move nervously, rubbing the fabric of his shirt or fiddling with the edges of his jacket. Every time his hands moved towards Kimi, as if searching for something, he would stop, hesitant, and step back slightly, with a frustration he knew was showing on his face. 

Kimi took one of Ollie’s restless hands in his own, interlacing their fingers and holding it firmly, indicating that he had no intention of letting go. He looked at him, surprised by the gesture.

 

“You don’t have to…” 

 

Kimi interrupted him gently, squeezing his hand a little tighter.

 

“Yes, I do have to, Ollie. I’m not leaving you alone.”

 

They reached the hotel entrance relatively quickly. Kimi guided him. There was something about the way he directed him, protectively, that made him feel strangely comforted, although he couldn't deny that he also felt a sense of vulnerability that made him feel exposed.

When they arrived to the door to his room, Kimi let out a long sigh.

 

"Open," he ordered, his voice low but firm.

 

Ollie, his hands shaking, complied, taking out his key and opening the door. As soon as they crossed the threshold, Kimi gently pushed him inside, closing the door behind them. He turned to Ollie, his eyes shining with an intensity that made him feel trapped in his gaze.

 

“Now, let’s talk,” he said, his voice soft but firm. It left no doubt as to who was in charge here.

 

He lowered his head, avoiding Kimi's gaze as he walked over to the bed. He sat on the edge, feeling the weight of the situation crushing him even more. 

The Italian followed him without taking his eyes off him, his presence almost palpable, and sat down beside him. However, Ollie leaned forward, interlacing his two hands again, this time rubbing them nervously, his legs trembling slightly, and for a moment nearly hugging himself.

 

“Why are you hiding, Ollie?” he asked, his voice low but unwavering. “Why are you trying to deal with this alone?”

 

Ollie felt tears burning his eyes, but he refused to cry in front of Kimi. Instead of responding right away, his hands began to move more, rubbing his knees, interlacing and unlacing his fingers restlessly, not knowing what to do with them.

Without waiting any longer, Kimi leaned toward him, placing one hand on the back of his neck and another on his knee, his touch firm and reassuring.

 

“Ollie,” he murmured, drawing his gaze with tenderness.

 

He shivered slightly at the contact. He felt tears stinging his eyes, but he held them back, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. 

 

“It’s just… I feel so useless,” he confessed, shaking slightly. “I couldn’t do anything, Kimi. I wanted to fight for something, to be on the track and prove that I deserve the seat, but…”

 

Kimi took his chin in a firm hand and lifted his face until he had no choice but to look into his eyes. 

 

“Listen to me,” he ordered, his voice low but with an edge of steel that made a shiver run down his spine. “You are not useless. You have not failed or let anyone down. The fact that you didn’t finish the race doesn’t define what you are capable of doing.” He tried to look away, but Kimi held him firmly in place, his fingers gripping gently but not yielding. “You are more than a race, Oliver,” he continued, his tone softer but just as firm. “You are an incredible driver, and you have a bright future ahead of you. What happened today changes nothing.”

 

He felt the barriers he had put up begin to crumble under the weight of Kimi’s words.

 

“But I wanted to be there, with you,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “Not just watch from the sidelines.”

 

Kimi sighed and, without another word, wrapped him in a protective hug. Ollie, who had initially tensed in surprise, soon surrendered to the embrace, letting his forehead rest on Kimi’s shoulder, his hands clinging to his friend’s shirt as if he feared the contact would fade away. 

 

“I know,” he whispered, his breath warm against the other’s hair. “And I swear there will be plenty more opportunities. But today, I want you to stop beating yourself up over something that wasn’t in your control.”

 

Ollie sank deeper into the embrace, allowing the warmth to envelop him, a small sob escaping his throat before he could hold it back. 

 

“Thank you,” he whispered against Kimi’s chest. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Just keep being you,” he replied, gently stroking his back in slow, comforting circles. “That’s all I need. And now, we’re celebrating my victory together with the rest of the team.”

He laughed weakly. "Congratulations on that, you've been great. I'm proud of you." But Kimi wasn't supposed to take care of him today; it was his day, his victory. "But I don't know if I can focus on celebrating with so many people after all this," he tried to excuse himself gently. "I'm so tired of everything. I don't want you to have to worry about me today."

 

The Italian lifted his face again, looking him straight in the eyes, his fingers gently caressing his jaw. 

 

“It’s not an option. We’re going to get out of here, and I assure you that you’ll find a way to be proud of yourself.”

 

Kimi stood up with determination and extended his hand to him. After a moment of hesitation, Ollie took it, feeling the weight of sadness lighten a little.

 

“Thank you for not leaving me alone,” he murmured, his voice barely audible, but clear enough for Kimi to hear.

“I will never do that,” he replied in a firm tone. “I will always be here for you.”

 

And so, with Kimi at his side, he left the room, knowing that even though the day had been tough, he wasn't alone. There was something about the way Kimi looked after him, the way he held him close, that gave him the strength to keep going, not just as a driver, but as a person.

Notes:

This Monaco GP is being a total mess so far, let's see if the two-stop thing prevents it from being such a parade tomorrow :)

Chapter 5: Safety, second contact

After the celebrations with the team (not too crazy given that they had another race the next day), the two of them headed back to the hotel, the cool night air beginning to dissipate the heat of the day.

 

Throughout the celebration, he didn’t move away when Kimi touched him, and on more than one occasion he had sought out his gaze, as if needing reassurance that everything was right.

He needed Kimi to tell him that everything was okay.

 

As they walked through the hotel corridors, the atmosphere between them was heavy with knowing silences and unspoken words. Kimi kept the hand firmly on the small of his back, guiding him with a presence that was as constant as it was comforting.

 

“Do you really have to walk me to the door?” he asked, a slight, hesitant smile on his face. 

 

No answer. 

Finally, they reached the door to his room. He paused, trying to offer a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

 

“Well, here we are,” he said, his voice trying to sound carefree but failing to hide the tension. “Thanks for joining me, Kimi. Now you should go get some rest. I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

 

Kimi looked at him with that firm, determined expression he knew so well, that look that left no doubt about his intentions. 

 

“I’m going in with you,” he said, not as a suggestion, but as an established fact.

 

He blinked, surprised by the clarity of the statement.

 

“You don’t have to do that, Kimi,” he replied, his voice more hesitant than he would have liked. “Really, I’ll be fine. I can handle myself.”

 

Kimi didn't move an inch, and his gaze didn't waver.

 

"I'm not leaving you alone tonight," he said with a firmness that made his stomach twist a little, a mix of nervousness and something else, something he couldn't quite place. "You need company, even if you don't want to admit it."

 

He tried to protest, his voice sounding a little more hurried than he pretended as he turned to open the door.

 

"But you need to rest too, Kimi. You've had a long day. You'll be more comfortable in your own room."

 

Kimi stood his ground, not taking a step back.

 

"I'm not going to rest knowing you're here alone, mulling over what happened today," he replied, his tone more protective. "My place is here, with you. And I'm not going to argue about this any further, Ollie."

 

The door opened with a soft click, and before he could say anything else, Kimi was already entering the room, his presence commanding the space with natural ease. Ollie followed, feeling his resistance crumble before the other's firm determination. He sighed, resigned but at the same time relieved by the insistence. Even though he was still struggling with the idea of ​​not being a burden, deep down he knew Kimi was right. There was something in his voice, in the way he had taken control of the situation, that made Ollie feel safe, protected in a way that only Kimi could make him feel.

Kimi turned to close the door behind them and then paused, crossing his arms and looking at him with an expression that was both gentle and authoritative.

 

“Now, get changed. I want you to get comfortable.”

“Okay, okay,” he muttered, heading to the closet to pull out his pajamas. 

 

He found the t-shirt and long pants he always packed just in case he had company in the room. But before he could even begin to move, Kimi came over, grabbing the baggy t-shirt Ollie had left behind when he changed in the morning, the one he wore to bed, from the chair and handing it to him. He stood still for a moment, surprised. Kimi raised an eyebrow, a clear sign that he wasn’t willing to budge.

 

“Orsetto,” he began tenderly, his voice low, “I know how you sleep. I know you don’t wear those full pajamas when you’re alone. You don’t have to change anything for me. I want you to be comfortable, like always.”

 

His face flushed slightly, a sense of embarrassment mixed with vulnerability washing over him. 

 

“How do you know that?” he murmured, though the question was more like an excuse to avoid doing what he was being asked for just one more minute.

 

Kimi cracked a small smile, but it wasn’t a mocking smile, but one filled with understanding.

 

“Because I know you,” he stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “And because I care about you enough to notice those details. Now, go change.”

 

He opened his mouth to protest further, but the look in Kimi’s eyes, those eyes full of sweetness and firmness, made the words die in his throat. With a resigned sigh, he took the shirt he’d been handed and headed to the bathroom to change.

 

As he looked at himself in the mirror, adjusting the shirt on his body, he couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. There was a sense of security and safety in knowing that Kimi was so attentive, that he noticed the little details. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel a little exposed, as if he saw more than he was willing to show.

 

When he emerged from the bathroom, dressed only in his thigh-high t-shirt and boxers, he felt a little naked. The Italian was sitting on the bed, already changed into his own pajama pants, his bare torso illuminated by the soft light of the bedside lamp. Kimi looked at him and nodded approvingly, extending a hand to invite him to join him.

He slowly approached, suddenly feeling unsure of what to do with his hands, or even how he should sit. But before he could make a decision, Kimi stood up and took his hand, guiding him towards the bed with a gentle firmness. 

 

“Vieni qui.”

 

Ollie let himself go, feeling the other's presence envelop him, giving him a sense of calm he hadn't felt since the day began. Kimi made him sit on the bed and then settled in beside him, reaching out to wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him even closer.

 

“You seem more comfortable like this,” he commented, his voice warm as he ran a hand through Ollie’s hair, stroking it gently.

 

The taller one shifted restlessly in his spot, feeling the heat in his face intensify as he tried to make himself more comfortable on the bed. Unconsciously, he tugged at the shirt he was wearing, trying to cover a little more of his thighs. The garment was shorter than he would have liked at the moment, and the feeling of exposure made him feel even more vulnerable.

 

“Orsetto,” he said softly, leaning a little towards him, “you don’t have to feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s just…” he stammered, tugging at the fabric once more. “It’s just that… I’m not used to being like this in front of someone else.”

 

Kimi let out a small laugh, not mocking, but full of affection. He placed a firm but comforting hand on his knee, giving it a light squeeze that made him still for a moment, surprised by the contact.

 

“You look fine,” he said in a calm voice, his tone so natural it made Ollie blush even more. “There’s nothing to worry about. I just want you to be comfortable.”

 

He looked away, biting his lip nervously as he tried to ignore the warm hand on his knee. He felt the weight of Kimi’s gaze on him, but it was a gaze that didn’t judge, a gaze filled with something more, something that made him feel seen in a way that was hard to describe.

 

“I…” he began, not knowing how to explain the mix of emotions that overwhelmed him. “I feel… I don’t know, I feel a little exposed.”

“I understand,” he said softly, sliding his hand from Ollie’s knee to intertwine his fingers with the other’s. “But you don’t have to hide from me. Don’t worry, orsetto. No matter what you wear, you’ll always look good to me.”

 

He looked down at their joined hands, trying to process what he had just told him. The firmness and confidence in his voice, combined with the softness of his touch, made some of his embarrassment slowly fade away.

 

“I just… it’s weird that you know how I sleep, and that…” he searched for words, struggling to find a way to express what he was feeling without sounding too insecure. “It’s weird that you don’t mind seeing me like this.”

 

Kimi let out a soft laugh, louder this time, but just as full of affection. His hand slid down to caress Ollie’s cheek, gently guiding his face so their eyes met.

 

“It’s because I care about you,” he said, his voice low but firm. “I notice those things because I want you to feel safe with me. You don’t have to hide anything, Ollie. There’s nothing I don’t like about you.”

 

Ollie let out a sigh, feeling his defenses crumble at the sincerity in Kimi’s eyes. He knew he was being completely honest, and while he still felt a bit of shame, he also felt a comforting warmth that made him feel more accepted.

 

“Thank you, Kimi,” he murmured, his voice barely audible, but carrying significant weight.

 

Kimi smiled, and without saying anything else, he gently pulled him until they were both lying on the bed, with Ollie curled up against his chest. The younger one stroked his back tenderly, letting the tranquility of the moment wash over them.

 

Ollie let out a small, nervous laugh. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me just because—” 

Kimi didn’t let him finish. “I’m not here because I feel obligated to,” he said, his tone firm. Reading his mind, as seemed usual nowadays. “I’m here because I want to be here. I want to make sure you’re okay. It’s my decision, and I’m not going to change it just because you think you should be alone tonight.”

 

He looked at him, his eyes meeting Kimi’s, searching for any sign of doubt, but he found none. He saw only that same protective determination, that unwavering firmness that always gave him a sense of security.

 

“Okay,” he murmured, letting his head fall back onto his chest, feeling the warmth of the skin against his. “Just… just stay with me, then.”

 

Kimi held him tighter, his hands moving slowly up Ollie’s back.

 

“I’m not going to leave you,” he promised, his voice a warm whisper in the darkness of the room. “I’m here to take care of you. And you don’t have to worry about anything else.”

 

He allowed himself to sink into the embrace, feeling the tension slowly dissipate. Despite his insecurities, despite his doubts, he knew that Kimi wouldn't leave him tonight, and that was all he needed right now.

The firmness and care in Kimi’s words, combined with the warmth of his physical touch, made him feel safe, protected in a way he hadn’t felt before. As time passed, and Ollie’s breathing became slower and deeper, he realized that even though the day had been hard, just having Kimi by his side made everything else fade away.

Eventually, Kimi helped him settle into bed, pulling the blankets up to cover them both. He laid back down, guiding Ollie to use his chest as a pillow, and then wrapped his arms around him.

 

“That’s better,” he murmured, letting a few fingers dig into his waist as they adjusted in the darkness. “Now rest. Tomorrow is another day.”

 

Ollie closed his eyes, allowing the stillness of the moment to wash over him.

 

“Thank you again,” he whispered, feeling sleep begin to claim him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“You don’t have to know,” he replied softly, his voice firm and sure. “Because I’ll always be here for you. Always.”

 

And with those words, Ollie let himself be lulled into the quiet of the night, feeling Kimi's body surrounding him. All he could feel was the steady beat of Kimi's heart beneath his ear, a reminder that he wasn't alone.

Finally, the tiredness he had been holding back began to overwhelm him completely, and he allowed himself to surrender to sleep, his body relaxing completely.

 

---

 

The soft sunlight filtered through the curtains, bathing the room in a warm, golden glow. After a while, Ollie began to stir a little, his body slowly awakening under his friend’s gentle caresses. Still caressing, Kimi leaned his head a little closer, his lips gently brushing his forehead.

 

“Buongiorno,” he murmured softly, his tone filled with warmth.

 

Ollie stirred a little more, his eyelids fluttering before slowly opening. At first, his eyes looked hazy, as if he were still caught between sleep and wakefulness, but when he met Kimi’s calm gaze, a sleepy smile appeared on his face.

 

“Good morning…” he replied with a yawn, instinctively snuggling closer to Kimi. Even though he had woken up, he wasn’t in any hurry to part from him.

“Did you sleep well?” Kimi asked, his hand continuing its gentle trail down Ollie’s back.

“Yes, very well…” he murmured, his voice still tinged with sleep. “Thank you for staying.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that, orsetto,” he replied, planting a kiss in his hair. “I’ll always be here for you, remember?”

 

Ollie nodded slightly, his eyes closing again as he relaxed completely into Kimi’s embrace. There was a palpable comfort between the two of them, a sense that the outside world could wait a little longer while they kept to their little haven.

A few more minutes passed in that state of quiet intimacy before Kimi finally spoke again. 

 

“We have to get up soon, you know,” he said with a slight smile in his voice, though he made no move to pull away from him.

 

He groaned in protest, burying his face further into Kimi’s chest.

 

“Five more minutes…” he murmured, his tone almost childlike.

 

Kimi let out a soft laugh, its vibrations resonating against his face.

 

"Okay, five more minutes."

 

So there they stayed, huddled together as the outside world continued to spin, aware that they would soon have to face reality, but in no hurry to leave the bubble of peace and security they had created together.

Notes:

Great day today :) Tsolov podium in F3, the meme that F2 has been with Dunne's mega comeback (although sad for Pepe), entertaining quali (how cool was Alonso's lap totally alone), and now it turns out that Stroll won't participate tomorrow due to issues with his wrist🫠

Chapter 6: Monza, first straight

August 30, 2024. 

 

The roar of engines filled the air at Monza, as the sun shone down on the historic Italian track. 

He knew it was a crucial day for Kimi. After years of effort, he was finally taking part in his first free practice session in Formula 1, with Mercedes.

Even though Kimi tried to appear confident, Ollie could see the cracks in the façade he was presenting. The blank stares over the past few days, the nervous gestures, and (though perhaps he was biased in this specific situation) the breaks Kimi usually spent with him temporarily replaced by the increased hours spent in the simulator of the Autodromo nazionale di Monza.

He was worried about him, because even though he had always seen him as someone unbreakable who showed almost no vulnerability, he also knew how much pressure a person could take before they snapped. And not just from his own experience.

Practice started well, with Kimi putting in a great first fast lap, taking the lead. He had a good first few minutes. But everything changed in an instant. During the Curva Parabolica, he lost control and crashed into the barriers, kicking up a cloud of dust in the process. Although the accident was not serious and Kimi climbed out of the car under his own power, the sight of the damaged car made Ollie feel a stab of fear in his chest.

It didn’t matter how many times he had seen accidents on the track; when it came to Kimi, everything felt different. He'd been hanging around his room in the paddock waiting for Kimi to call him or come on camera and say anything, preferably that he was okay.

 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he received a text from Kimi, terse but reassuring: ‘I'm fine. See you before the session.’ Although those few words eased the tension in his chest a little, he knew he needed to see Kimi in person, look him in the eyes and confirm that he was really okay.

He must have been very disappointed. After all, it had been his first appearance in the category, and he hadn't been able to do it as he would have liked, as Ollie knew he could have done if he had been calm, as it deserved to have been his first practice in Formula 1. Especially to shut up more than one nosy journalist.

 

Oh, how he wanted to hug him and assure him that everything would be fine.

 

---

 

A few hours later, in a secluded corner of the Formula 2 area, he finally saw him. He was leaning against a wall, his expression serious, a mix of concentration and a bit of anger. Despite the distance, the Italian's eyes met his, and the tension they had both been holding seemed to dissipate a little. He quickly approached, his heart pounding, not only from worry but from the relief of seeing him okay.

 

“Kimi…” he began, his voice breaking slightly as he let out all the emotions that had washed over him since the accident. “I was worried…” 

 

Kimi looked at him with that intensity so characteristic of his, but there was something else in his gaze, something softer.

 

“I’m fine, Ollie,” he assured again, his voice low, almost like a whisper just for him. “It was just a mistake, nothing I can’t handle. I’ll learn from it and move on.”

 

Ollie nodded, though he couldn't help the concern in his eyes. He took a step closer, instinctively seeking the contact he so desperately wanted at that moment. Kimi, noticing his need, raised a hand to gently caress his cheek, a reassuring gesture that made him close his eyes for a second, absorbing the warmth and security he conveyed to him.

 

“We are going to talk tonight, after everything. We are having dinner together,” Kimi said softly, eyes locked on his. “There’s something important I need to tell you.”

 

He nodded again, his curiosity piqued, knowing he would have to wait, if he had given him advance notice and stressed its importance it was for something serious. He shouldn't rush Kimi, he would speak when he was ready. Though for now he wasn't curious enough to overshadow the urgent need to make sure Kimi was okay at the moment. But before he could ask anything else, the younger man interrupted him, his voice growing firmer.

 

“Don’t worry anymore about what happened today,” he continued, his tone protective. “Just focus on what’s ahead. We’ll be okay. I’m okay. And tonight… tonight we’ll talk, I promise you.”

“Fine…”

 

With one last look, Kimi turned to leave.

 

“Wait!” the Italian turned around, confused. “I have your birthday present.”

 

Kimi stopped short, possibly surprised by the exclamation.

 

“Present?” he repeated, unable to hide the amazement in his voice. “Oh, Ollie, you didn’t have to…”

 

But he was already pulling a small, carefully wrapped box out of his pocket. He handed it to him, his fingers lightly fiddling with the wrapping paper, while he avoided his gaze with a slight blush on his cheeks. It was just a little something, for his birthday.

 

“It’s just something small,” he said, almost in a whisper, wanting to downplay it, although he knew the sincerity in his voice was evident. “I wanted to give it to you earlier, but I left it in my suitcase yesterday.”

 

Kimi delicately took the package. For a brief moment, he stared at the square before looking up at him. Gently, he began to unwrap the paper, revealing a small box. He carefully opened it to reveal what was inside: a thin bracelet made of two different braided leather strips, one black and the other a deep shade of blue. He knew Kimi liked those kinds of bracelets, and he also knew those colors would blend in with the Italian’s style.

 

“Ollie…” he murmured touched. He was silent for a moment, admiring the gift before looking at him again. “It’s… perfect. Really.”

 

He finally looked up from the gift, searching Kimi's face for any sign that he had liked it. Seeing the genuine smile that had appeared on the younger's face, a feeling of relief and happiness flooded over him.

 

"I'm glad you like it," he said, giving a shy smile. "I wanted you to have something to remind you that you're not alone, that there's always someone here for you."

 

Kimi always remembered who gave him those kinds of things, so now every time he looked at the bracelet he could think of Ollie, and how he would be there for him if he wanted it.

 

“It's an incredible gift, Ollie.”

 

Kimi took his hand, gently turning it to place a kiss on the back of it. The contact was brief, but loaded with meaning, and when he looked down, his eyes met Kimi's. The intensity of the gaze made the blush on his cheeks deepen.

 

“Grazie,” he repeated, his voice low and warm, as he gently squeezed Ollie’s hand before letting go.

 

Ollie fell silent, still processing the gesture and the emotions it had evoked. There was something about the way Kimi looked at him, something protective and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but also filled with a tenderness that made his heart beat faster.

 

As Kimi walked away, Ollie stared at his hands, still feeling the echo of the contact, wondering if there was anything more in that small gesture than just gratitude.

The day passed relatively uneventfully after their brief encounter. Kimi, though still wearing a shade of frustration, seemed to have quickly recovered, refocusing on the rest of the weekend. But Ollie, who knew him better than anyone at this point, could see that something was still bothering him.

 

That evening, after the day's frenzy began to dissipate, Ollie went to the Italian's room, as agreed. When he opened the door, he was greeted by a small but warm smile, something that made him relax a little more. The room was softly lit, creating a cozy atmosphere. On the table were two plates of food accepted by their trainers.

During dinner, the conversation flowed with the same ease as always, full of jokes, anecdotes and small laughs that filled the atmosphere with warmth. Although he was still a little tense at first, he gradually gave in to the relaxed atmosphere that Kimi so skillfully maintained. Every joke, every friendly touch, helped dispel the restlessness that he had carried with him throughout the day. His posture was increasingly relaxed, feeling calmer after the situation that morning.

When they finished eating, they cleared away their plates without saying much, and when everything was in order, they both headed to bed as naturally as ever, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Kimi was the first to settle down, leaning back against the pillows, his movements fluid and calm, leaving space beside him but not asking him for anything directly. Ollie knew it was to avoid making him feel obligated, but he always accepted the silent invitation.

 

Kimi stared at him for a moment. “Ollie…” he began, his voice softer now that they were in bed together, away from the hustle and bustle of the outside world, “there’s something I want to tell you.” After a moment of silence, he continued, “Tomorrow my contract with Mercedes for 2025 will be officially announced.” 

 

He stared at him, his eyes widening in surprise and excitement. It took a second for the news to click, but once it did, a huge, beaming smile spread across his face, lighting it up completely.

 

“Oh my God, Kimi!” he exclaimed, hugging him so tightly that almost took the other’s breath away. “That’s amazing! I’m so, so happy for you! I knew you would make it, I just knew it!”

 

The words were pouring out of his mouth, as if he couldn't express enough how proud and excited he was for him. He knew his hug was too tight, but the Italian wasn't complaining, in fact, he welcomed him with a smile.

 

“Thank you, Orsetto,” he replied as he gently stroked Ollie’s back. “We’ll finally fulfill our dreams. Both of us.”

“Rookies in the same year,” he said tenderly. “We can’t get away from each other.”

“Well… Things will be different. We won’t be teammates to begin with.”

 

Ollie, still beaming, slouched a little further into Kimi’s lap, not even conscious of what he was doing (or where he was sitting). 

 

“I know, but…” his voice softened, a flash of concern showing, “Even though we’re not on the same team, we’ll still see each other a lot, right? I mean, we’ll be on the same tracks, at the same events.”

 

Kimi nodded, one of his hands coming up to stroke his hair as he looked at him softly.

 

“Of course I will. It may not be as easy as it is now, but we will always find time,” he said, his voice firm, as if he were making a promise. “I won’t let this change what we have. We’ll keep making our jokes, having dinner together when we can, and…” he smiled, lowering his voice to a playful touch, “some moments like this.”

 

Ollie blushed brightly, heat rising to his cheeks as he finally realized where he was: sitting comfortably on Kimi’s lap, his arms still around his neck. For a moment, he thought about pulling away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Instead of moving, he allowed the blush on his face to settle, letting his muscles relax as he leaned slightly against Kimi, enjoying the proximity and the comforting warmth radiating from his body.

Kimi's closeness gave him a calm he couldn't find anywhere else. The slight movement of his chest as he breathed, the weight of his arms surrounding him securely, everything gave him a feeling of protection and safety. He couldn't help but feel that this was his place, that it had always been his place. There was just that calm, that silent connection they shared.

 

“We will make it, right?” he asked, his tone seeking confirmation, though deep down he already knew the answer.

Kimi lowered the head, brushing the forehead against his before murmuring, “Of course, orsetto. No matter what.”

 

After a few moments of silence, just enjoying each other's company, Kimi broke the silence with a playful tone. 

 

"Speaking of spending time together…" he started, his smile becoming more mischievous as he looked into his eyes, "Why don't you stay overnight with me tonight? It's already late." 

 

Ollie, who was already somewhat used to Kimi's advances, couldn't help but blush, though he tried to hide it by looking away.

 

"I shouldn't, it's just that… well, I have my things in my room and…"

 

Kimi interrupted him with a soft laugh, shifting him slightly on his lap to hold him better, as if trying to remind him how comfortable he was. 

 

“Come on, you know you don’t have to worry about that. And besides…” His voice dropped to a whisper near Ollie’s ear. “I like having you here. You make me feel calmer.”

 

He felt a chill run down his spine at those words, and though a part of him was still struggling with the idea of ​​being a burden, the warmth in the other’s voice made his resistance melt away. He nodded slightly, and Kimi, taking the cue, smirked before finally letting go, allowing him to slide off his lap.

 

“Okay, but at least let me go change,” he murmured, standing up.

 

Kimi nodded, getting up to go to the closet as well. Without saying anything, he pulled out a baggy t-shirt and handed it to him with a soft smile, watching him as he took the garment with a mix of gratitude and embarrassment.

 

“I knew you would end up staying,” he offered in a tone that was a mix of joking and determination. Ollie, unable to help a small smile, took the shirt and headed to the bathroom to change.

 

When he came out, Kimi was already in bed, watching him with an appreciative look and a hint of amusement. Although more or less accustomed to the situation, he couldn't help but blush a little at the expression on his face.

 

"You look adorable," he said with a smile as he lifted the blanket so that Ollie could get into bed next to him.

“Oh, shut up…” he muttered, though he couldn't help but smile as he got under the covers, feeling the warmth of Kimi's body instantly.

 

Once they were both settled, Kimi put an arm around him, pulling him even closer, while Ollie leaned against his chest, allowing himself to enjoy the intimacy of the moment. He liked that they were so close, that over the months they had reached this point in their relationship. He enjoyed that Kimi felt comfortable asking for more time with him and physical contact.

 

“Thanks for staying,” The younger whispered as he gently stroked his arm.

 

He raised his head slightly to look at him, his eyes meeting Kimi’s in the dim light of the room. 

 

“Thanks for asking me. I like it here too… with you.”

 

Kimi smiled softly and pulled him closer, their bodies fitting perfectly under the blankets. 

 

“Then let’s not talk anymore. Just… stay with me, Ollie. Always.”

 

He nodded, his heart filling with a warm certainty as he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to the calm rhythm of Kimi’s breathing. With him, everything seemed to fall into place, as if there was nowhere else in the world Ollie would rather be. 

 

Sometimes he wished that it was possible, always being together.

Notes:

I'm sleepyyyy and I'm having a bad day :(

Chapter 7: Future, second straight

August 31, 2024. 

Mercedes. Kimi would be a Formula 1 driver in 2025. With Mercedes. They were going to stay together. Haas and Mercedes. In 2025. 

He couldn't believe it. It was finally official.

 

Formula 1. The Dream.

 

And together.

 

---

 

The sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains when Ollie began to wake up. The feeling of warmth beside him reminded him that he wasn’t alone, and a small smile formed on his lips as he snuggled closer to Kimi. 

Everything was quiet, and the stillness of the morning enveloped them like a warm blanket. He wasn't fully awake, but he didn't want to open his eyes either. He felt so comfortable that he wanted to prolong this moment as long as possible. But his movements, although gentle, made Kimi start to wake up as well. He felt him shift a little beside him, and then, a hand slowly slid down his waist, pulling him closer.

 

“Good morning, orsetto,” he murmured, his voice hoarse and sleepy as he stretched a little, but without letting go.

“Good morning…” he replied in a sleepy tone, turning in the bed to meet Kimi's gaze, who watched him with a soft smile on his lips.

 

Kimi lifted a hand and brushed a strand of hair from Ollie’s eyes. His gaze slid with a mix of appreciation and something else, a spark that had yet to fade from the night before.

 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, his voice low as he let his hand rest on Ollie’s cheek, his thumb gently caressing his skin.

 

He nodded, feeling a warmth wash over him.

 

“Yes, very well,” he murmured. “Better than I expected.”

 

Kimi smiled, his hand sliding down to the small of Ollie's back, pulling him closer.

 

"I'm glad to hear that," he replied, his voice a little deeper. “We should get up,” he finally said with a slightly lighter tone. “Although, if it were up to me, I would keep you here all day.” And he backed away a little.

 

Ollie let out a small laugh, relieved by the change in tone, though a part of him was a little disappointed by Kimi’s retreat. 

 

“That sounds fun, but I think we have things to do,” he replied, though he made no attempt to move, still enjoying the warmth Kimi radiated.

“Things to do, yes,” the younger repeated with a hint of mockery. “Like checking our phones and seeing what crazy stuff is going on in the world now that it’s official.”

 

He turned slightly to look at him with a mischievous grin.

 

“Do you think you’re all over the news already?”

Kimi let out a small laugh, nodding. “I’m sure I’ll be the topic of the day. But first, we should get breakfast… and then, perhaps, we can see what they’re saying about me.”

He nodded, his gaze still filled with warmth as he watched him. “Sounds like a good plan,” he said softly, and without thinking too much about it, he moved a little closer, settling his head on Kimi’s chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

 

The Italian didn't say anything, just wrapped his arm around Ollie once more, both of them enjoying the quiet moment they shared. There was something so natural about the way they fit together, how they could move without even thinking, like they were made to be together this way.

After a while, as they both began to fully wake up, Kimi let his hand absentmindedly play with Ollie's hair.

 

“You know?” Kimi said in a soft tone, his words vibrating in the air between them. “I like waking up with you. There’s nothing better than this.”

He, blushing a little, looked up. “I like it too,” he admitted, his voice a little lower, but sincere. “I could get used to this.”

 

Kimi smiled, his eyes filled with a mix of tenderness and something more, something that promised much more than words could say.

 

“So why don’t we make this a tradition too?” he suggested, his tone half joking, half serious. “After all, it looks like we’re going to have plenty of opportunities in the future.”

 

He laughed softly, the sound filled with mirth.

 

“Tradition sounds nice,” he replied, not taking his eyes away. Waking up every day next to him… Yeah, that sounded really nice.

 

With one last stroke on his hair, Kimi reached over to reach their phones on the nightstand, handing one over before unlocking his own.

 

“Let’s see what they say already. I’m curious,” he said with a mischievous grin. “I’m not sure I want to know, though.”

 

Ollie laughed, sitting up straighter so he could look at his screen. Still tangled in the sheets, they settled closer to each other, their heads almost touching as Kimi unlocked his phone. The glow of the screen illuminated their faces, revealing smiles filled with anticipation and curiosity.

Deep down (even if it was wishful thinking) he hoped that the things said would be positive, that the future Mercedes driver would receive the support he deserved. If he started to see offensive comments, he told himself with determination, he would distract the Italian.

 

Kimi spent an entire afternoon holding him a few days after Silverstone, wiping away his tears and forcing him to drink water, when the media decided that a nineteen-year-old boy was just waiting for them to explain all the reasons why he would never be a good Formula 1 driver. Too young, immature and naive to survive (made worse when Esteban Ocon was announced as his team-mate). Everyone was waiting in anticipation, waiting to see him bleed.

 

No. He wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

 

He looked at Kimi, who hadn't left his side for a moment. Supporting him and taking care of him. Kimi, who he had hidden from so that he wouldn't see him more broken than he already was, making excuses until he could compose himself enough to hide the level of wreckage he had been in. He had been honest enough for the younger to know that he was affected, but he hadn't let him see to what extent, not wanting to worry him. Kimi, who they could invent even more flaws about. He wouldn't allow him to be hurt too.

 

“Let’s see if they’ve started criticizing me yet,” he murmured, his tone somewhere between playful and serious as he scrolled through the notifications. That's what worries me.

 

Ollie watched intently, leaning on Kimi's shoulder, feeling the heat of his body seeping through the fabric of the borrowed shirt.

 

The headline was eye-catching enough to make Ollie chuckle. "‘The Future of F1: Antonelli, the Star of Tomorrow’," he read aloud, his tone amused. "A title worthy of a movie."

Kimi nodded, but then his expression changed to a softer smile when he came across a comment that made him pause. “‘The best part is that Kimi and Ollie will still be sharing the track, I can’t wait to see them, maybe sometime as teammates again’.”

He felt a pang of warmth in his chest as he read those words. “It seems like everyone is happy that we’re still together, albeit on different teams,” he commented.

 

Kimi turned to face him, his gaze intense.

 

“It’s no surprise, orsetto,” he said softly. “The two of us, on the same track in F1, are going to be a lot to talk about. And this is just the beginning.”

 

He felt his heart race a little at the way he looked at him, so sure, so protective, but also with a spark of something deeper, something that was always present between them, even if they didn't recognize it.

Well, he could wait. They could wait. He was pretty sure Kimi hadn't noticed anyway. There was no hurry.

 

Kimi put his phone aside, turning his attention completely to him. “You know?” he began, his voice low and full of intent. “I like that you’re here with me, sharing this moment. It makes everything even better.”

“I’m happy to be here, too,” he replied sincerely.

 

Kimi's smile widened, and before he could react, he threw himself at him, trapping him in his arms and gently pushing him back onto the mattress. Ollie let out a small laugh, somewhat surprised by the abruptness, but offered no resistance. Somehow, they always ended up like this, and while he used to get nervous before, it didn't embarrass him (as much) anymore.

 

“You’re adorable when you’re nervous,” the Italian murmured, leaning over him, his face so close that Ollie could feel his breath against his skin.

“I’m not nervous,” he protested, though his voice didn’t sound convincing.

“Oh, of course you are,” he replied in a mocking tone, letting his hands move slowly up his sides, tracing small circles with his fingers as he watched him with that look that always made Ollie feel vulnerable and exposed. “But you don’t have to be.”

 

He tried to stand firm, but the feel of his weight on him, and the intensity of his eyes made his heart beat at an almost painful pace. 

 

“I can’t help it,” he admitted quietly, looking away slightly. 

 

Kimi, noticing his shyness, let out a soft laugh, full of affection.

 

“I know,” he whispered, leaning down to brush his nose against Ollie’s, an intimate gesture that made him shiver. “And I adore that about you.”

 

Ollie closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to fully enjoy Kimi's closeness. Feeling the warmth of the younger's body enveloping him made him feel safe. He let himself fall a little deeper into the feeling, as if the simple act of being so close could erase any anxiety or worry. It wasn't usual for Ollie to feel small, but with the Italian, in his firm, protective arms, everything was different. There was something about the way he held him, how he made him feel so cared for, that completely disarmed him.

He wasn't used to that feeling. Everyone expected him to be the one to protect, the strong and protective one in any relationship, romantic or friendly. But with Kimi, things weren't like that, Kimi didn't expect him to behave in any way. It was as if, for the first time, he could allow himself to not be the one always in control. And that protection didn't make him feel weak; it made him feel loved, cared for, as if he could finally let down the defenses he always kept up.

They were a good fit. Ollie didn't want to offer what was expected of him, to be a dominant force in any situation; and he knew that Kimi would rather eat pizza with pineapple than let someone take control just because he was younger.

Kimi lowered himself a little further, letting the tip of his nose slide down Ollie’s cheek, stopping near his ear.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” he murmured. “We’re going to conquer this sport together, no matter how many obstacles there are.”

 

He felt a lump in his throat at Kimi's words, and without a second thought, he raised his arms to surround his neck, pulling him closer.

 

"Together, Kimi," he replied, full of determination. "Always."

 

Kimi sat up a little straighter, looking at him with an intensity that took his breath away.

 

“That’s what I want to hear,” he breathed into his face. “And I want you to remember it well.”

 

He could only nod, caught in the other's gaze, in the sensation of his hands that seemed to burn his skin wherever they touched him. He didn't understand how Kimi didn't notice his burning body.

 

“I couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to,” he whispered, his voice barely a breath between them.

"You better not," he said, leaning in for one last big hug.

 

As they lay there, tangled in the sheets, Ollie wasn't thinking about 2025. Right now, all that mattered was that they were together, and somehow, he believed, they always would be.

 

---

 

Later that day, Ollie stepped onto the grid for the sprint race, feeling a renewed energy and focus driving him forward. 

Maybe it was the peace of the morning, but when the lights went out, something inside him clicked. The result was a flawless race. He crossed the finish line in first place, celebrating his victory with a euphoria that filled the air of Monza.

And despite finishing eighteenth, there was Kimi. Waiting to congratulate him with a smile on his face and his arms ready to wrap around him.

After his ill-fated first Formula 1 appearance the day before. After finishing between the last at Monza, Italy, his home. After his teammate won the race, 17 places clear of him. After all that, Kimi was there anyway, hugging him and telling him how proud he was. Thanking Ollie for winning when he couldn't. Admitting that if anyone had to take the win, he'd rather it was the Brit.

Oh, Kimi… 

                     this boy drives me crazy.

 

Notes:

TODAY I'M GOING TO SEE HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Chapter 8: Baku, first pit stop

Well, at least this time he was having time to adjust and prepare. The news didn't hit him like a bombshell without warning. This time, he had been given advance notice, with room to process it and also the opportunity to share it with those who mattered before it became public.

That, at least, was a welcome respite. It wasn't that he was afraid of change—he was a pilot, after all, used to living on a constant roller coaster of adrenaline, pressure, and last-minute changes—but he didn't think he could handle another weekend like the one in Jeddah.

 

His phone vibrated on the table, and seeing the name on the screen made his heart skip a beat. He barely hesitated before answering, because of all people, he was the one he needed to hear from the most right now.

 

“Ollie?” The voice was firm, as always, but there was a hint of softness that made him relax immediately, as if his entire body was releasing an invisible tension.

“I’m here,” he replied, trying to make his voice sound carefree, even though he knew Kimi could probably notice the slight hesitation.

"Stai bene?" he asked bluntly, directly, as was his custom.

 

He smiled weakly, resting his forehead against the cold glass of the window.

 

“Yeah, well… you know. The usual. Adjusting,” he replied, trying to downplay it.

 

There was silence on the line, as if Kimi was thinking exactly what to say. But, somehow, the presence on the other end of the line, in that shared silence, was comforting.

 

“At least you got plenty of notice this time,” he finally said, his tone as matter-of-fact as ever. “You don’t have to run around like crazy.”

 

The truth in his words made him laugh a little, one of those full of relief.

 

“Yes, I know. This time I had time to warn everyone, so you don't find out on the internet…” he murmured.

“And they're happy for you, aren't they?” he said it in a way that didn't seem like a question, but rather like a solid and confident statement.

 

He nodded, though Kimi couldn't see him.

 

"Yeah, sure. Everyone's happy… it's just that…"

"What?" The voice urged him on.

 

He hesitated, but knew there was no point in hiding anything. The Italian knew him too well, and if he didn't tell him now, he would probably drag him into a more intense conversation at some other time.

 

“It's just that… a part of me still feels like this whole thing could fall apart at any moment. You know? It's like everything is… too good to be true.”

 

Kimi let out a soft sigh, and he could imagine him resting his head on his hand, accustomed to this topic, thinking about his next words.

 

“Ollie… we’ve been over this before,” he said, his tone now low and calm. “What you’re achieving isn’t a stroke of luck. It’s not a passing thing. You earned it, with effort, with every damn race. Nobody gave it to you, and it didn’t fall from the sky. Do you know why you’re here?”

"Because I've worked for it," he replied, repeating the words as if they were a mantra.

“Esatto. You don't have to thank anyone for anything. This is yours,” he added, he could almost imagine him smiling sideways.

“Grazie, Kimi. I don't know what I would do without you,” he finally said, with a sigh of relief.

“You’d probably go back to your old habit of underestimating yourself at every turn. But here I am, to stop you from doing that,” he replied mockingly, though Ollie knew there was truth in his words.

 

---

 

Kimi seemed particularly excited for him, especially as it would be a sort of initiation into Haas before 2025. It even seemed that at certain moments, Kimi was happier for him than he himself dared to be.

 

And it was true that sometimes the roles were reversed. During Formula 2 qualifying, he had been the one who couldn't contain his excitement at seeing Kimi move up the order, bursting into praise when he finished second. This was replicated by the Italian when Ollie finished Q2 in eleventh place (at least ahead of Hülkenberg). And, although somewhat disappointed at not being able to make it into Q3, the gleam of pride in Kimi's eyes consoled him a bit. 

This situation was also repeated after the sprint race in which the younger driver finished seventh (even though he understood his teammate's subdued feelings in the latter case, he would act the same).

 

What a pair they were, more excited by the other's results than their own. Not that he was surprised, after all, they had been each other's main supporters all year.

 

---

 

Kimi appeared in the doorway with his hair still damp, dark locks messy, and the relaxed expression of someone who had just taken a hot shower and was ready for a leisurely rest of the day. They had both decided it was best to spend the night at Ollie's hotel, it was closer to the circuit.

 

“Aren’t you going to lock up?” he teased from the bed, watching him with a half-smile as he stretched his legs out under the blanket.

 

Kimi smirked and pushed the door open with his foot before crossing the room and plopping down on the end of the mattress.

 

“Are you ready for another night of drama on TV?” he asked, though there was an unusual glint in his eyes.

“Drama? More like a night of you critiquing scripts,” he replied, leaning against the headboard.

“Are you okay?” the Italian asked directly.

“I’m fine,” he answered quickly, but Kimi frowned, making it clear he wasn’t convinced.

“Sure? Because the grimaces I’m seeing say otherwise.” His tone was firm, but there was a protective tone that made Ollie look away.

“It’s not that bad, really,” he finally admitted, shrugging. “My body hurts a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Besides, I know how to ease it. I’ll put something cold on tomorrow before I get in the car, and that’s it. Jeddah was much worse,” he tried to reassure him, evidently failing.

 

The initial relaxation in his features disappeared, replaced by a tension Ollie knew all too well. His jaw clenched and his fingers on the blanket twitched, though he quickly seemed to soften his posture.

 

“Jeddah was worse?” he repeated, his tone lower, but laden with something that made Ollie look up with some caution.

“Yeah, but there’s no point in worrying about it now,” he replied with a small smile, trying to divert attention.

 

Kimi leaned slightly toward him, placing a firm hand on the mattress, as if he needed to anchor himself. His gaze, intense and fixed on his, caught him completely.

 

“I don’t like finding out about these things months later, Ollie,” he said, his voice still calm, but with an edge to it that was impossible to ignore. He opened his mouth to protest, but Kimi caressed his cheek, silencing him gently before continuing. “You don’t have to handle it alone, I always tell you that. You should have told me then, I would have been there for you. You know that.”

 

He looked down, his smile now somewhat shy, knowing there was no way out of this conversation without accepting what he was telling him.

 

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he murmured, a slight hint of apology in his tone.

“Ollie…” Kimi exhaled slowly. “It’s not about worrying. It’s my choice to want to take care of you if something happens. You hiding things like that from me only makes me worry even more.”

“I’m sorry,” he finally murmured, lifting a hand to stroke Kimi’s arm, drawing circles on his forearm.

The Italian gently shook his head. “I don’t want an apology, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just wish you’d tell me when these things happen to you.”

 

The sincerity in the words was enough to make him nod slowly.

 

"I will. I promise."

 

Kimi watched him silently for a moment, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

 

“You don’t have to wait until tomorrow. I have a cream that can help now,” he said, standing up before he could protest.

“Cream?” he asked, arching an eyebrow as Kimi dug through his bag.

“Yeah, cold effect.” He turned around with a smile, holding the tube like it was the solution to every problem.

 

Ollie hesitated for a moment, but then nodded with a small smile.

 

“Okay.”

“Perfetto. Take off your shirt.”

 

He laughed softly as Ollie carefully removed his shirt. Despite his attempts to minimize his discomfort, the marks on his torso spoke for themselves: small bruises and tense muscles that told the story of an exhausting start to the weekend.

Kimi’s brow furrowed at the sight, and his lips pressed into a thin line. Before he could say anything, Ollie lifted a hand, touching his cheek.

 

“Don’t make that face,” he said softly, his thumb caressing the skin. “It’s nothing serious, okay?”

 

The Italian relaxed his jaw a little, though his eyes remained fixed on the bruises.

 

“How do you prefer I position myself?” he asked, a smile trying to dispel the concern.

“Just sit down. I’ll move around.” Kimi dropped onto the bed with a sigh, opening the tube of cream.

 

He complied, crossing his legs as Kimi began applying the cream with firm but careful hands. The immediate coolness of the cream drew a sigh of relief, though he occasionally grimaced when the fingers pressed a particularly sensitive spot.

 

“Sorry,” the Italian murmured whenever he noticed, his voice low and full of genuine concern.

“It’s okay. You’re better at this than I thought,” he joked, though the warmth in his tone betrayed him.

 

Kimi didn’t respond immediately, concentrating on his movements, making sure not to push too hard.

 

“You don’t have to endure all this alone,” he finally repeated.

“I don’t. I have you, don’t I?” he replied, with a soft smile that made Kimi’s eyes soften.

 

They both fell silent as the younger continued, his hands carefully running over every tense area.

 

“Grazie, Kimi,” he murmured at last, as the other closed the tube and leaned back to admire his work.

“Sempre,” he replied, patting him lightly on the leg before smiling. “Now we’ll try to rest, orsetto. Make yourself comfortable.”

 

He nodded, quickly pulling on his shirt and lying back on the bed as Kimi turned off the light, lying down beside him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Now, for them, it was.

Kimi slid between the sheets, careful not to brush his torso too much as he settled in. They were both silent for a moment.

 

“So, tomorrow from second position?” the Brit murmured, breaking the quiet.

“Yeah. It’ll be a good fight,” he replied, his tone casual, though there was a glint of excitement in his words that couldn’t be ignored.

“You’re sure to get a podium. Maybe even the win. The car suits Baku well,” he said confidently.

 

Kimi glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, his smile slowly growing.

 

“You would have shone, like last year. The king of Baku.”

 

He let out a soft laugh, turning slightly towards the Italian.

 

“Don't exaggerate, Antonelli. You would be too much of an obstacle to score another two in a row.”

 

Kimi shrugged, that nonchalant expression that always made it seem like he wasn’t really trying to flatter, even though Ollie knew he was.

 

“I’m just telling the truth. There aren’t many who can match you here. But we could have had a PREMA doublet.”

 

He shook his head, still smiling, and leaned slightly towards Kimi, letting their heads almost touch.

 

“Thank you. But tomorrow is your time. I trust you will do incredibly well.”

 

Kimi looked down at him, and with a quick but gentle movement, he slid an arm around Ollie’s waist, pulling him close.

 

“And I trust you will do well tomorrow too. You will do great.” His words were simple, but there was something about the way he said it that made him feel invincible.

 

The Brit settled back against him, closing his eyes with a sigh.

 

“Thank you, Kimi. Good night.”

“Buona notte, orsetto,” he replied, planting a quick kiss on his hair before letting sleep claim them.

 

The room fell silent, broken only by the steady rhythm of their breathing. They both knew the next day would be intense, but for now, all was calm.

Notes:

Short but sweet. And Kimi acting protective of Ollie gives me life😊

Chapter 9: Silence, first braking

The sun was beginning to set behind the tall buildings of Baku, hours after the race. The adrenaline of the day was waning, leaving in its place the fatigue characteristic of a race weekend.

 

With his hair still damp from his shower, he crossed the corridors of the paddock towards Kimi's room at PREMA. He was done with his commitments: interviews, meetings with engineers and the endless questions from the press (especially since he apparently turns out to be the first driver to score points for two different teams in his first two races). But now, he only wanted one thing: to talk to him.

 

He knocked softly on the door of the room, waiting for Kimi to answer. When he did, he opened the door without hesitation, and the smile he offered him when he saw him was enough to undo some of the exhaustion he carried.

 

“Look who decided to pay me a visit,” he joked, that sparkle in his eyes that always seemed to be there when Ollie was around.

“I couldn’t pass up the chance to congratulate the third fastest in Baku, could I?” he replied, stepping in casually.

 

Kimi let out a short laugh, closing the door behind him before turning around.

 

“Third place, yes, but you made history today. Nice record.”

 

He shrugged, though the smile that spread across his face betrayed him.

 

“One point with a different team is nothing compared to your podium. I knew you could get it.”

 

The Italian shook his head, still smiling, and pointed to the small table in the room. On it were two bottles of water and some energy bars.

 

“Water?” he asked, picking up one of the bottles.

“Please.”

 

Kimi handed him the bottle before sitting down on the floor, letting him settle against the wall next to him. They both drank in silence for a few seconds, letting the weight of the day settle between them.

 

---

 

Upbeat music was playing from a speaker connected to one of the engineers’ cellphones. The lights didn’t illuminate the area very well, adding a warm touch that made everyone feel relaxed after a long day. The tables had bottles and snacks scattered on them.

There was a vibrant energy in the air, a reflection of the pride the whole team felt at Kimi’s podium and Ollie’s strong performance. The mechanics and PREMA staff were already gathered, laughing and chatting in small groups, but when they saw them arrive, a roar of excitement filled the space.

 

“Guys!” one of the mechanics exclaimed, holding up a can of beer in welcome. “About time you arrived!”

"We didn't want to steal all the limelight from you so early," Kimi replied with a sideways smile, receiving a can that someone threw at him from the table.

 

He let out a laugh as he picked up his own drink, looking around. There was nothing particularly special about the scene, but the camaraderie was undeniable. Everyone’s faces were lit up with genuine smiles, and there was an atmosphere of modest celebration that made everything feel more authentic.

The music grew louder, and slowly, some people began to move to the beat. Kimi, as always, seemed to draw people around him effortlessly. He was in the middle of a group, talking enthusiastically, gesturing animatedly as he told some anecdote that made others burst into laughter.

He watched him from his spot at the drinks table, leaning against one of the folding chairs. There was something about the way Kimi radiated that carefree energy, that natural magnetism that made him stand out without even trying. His laughter echoed over the rest of the noise, and although it was clear he’d had quite a bit to drink, his joy was contagious.

He found himself smiling without realizing it, a strange warmth in his chest. It was hard not to admire the younger boy at times like this, when his presence seemed to fill the entire space. There was always something about him, the way he connected with people.

 

“Are you just going to stand there staring at me all night or are you going to join in?” The voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he blinked, realizing the Italian was watching him with a raised eyebrow and a mocking smile.

“I was just thinking about how someone so bad at dancing could attract so much attention,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink to hide the slight blush he felt creeping across his cheeks.

 

Kimi let out a laugh before crossing the space between them.

 

“Then come and show me how it’s done, Bearman.” Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed him by the arm and dragged him toward the center of the makeshift dance floor, where others were already moving to the music.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea,” he protested with a laugh that showed he wasn’t entirely sober either, although he didn’t do anything to break free.

“Of course it is.” Kimi gave him a smile before moving with exaggeratedly clumsy steps, eliciting a laugh from him.

“Is that dancing? I think you just invented a new sport.”

“And you can do it better?” he challenged, raising his eyebrows as he did a deliberately ridiculous twirl.

 

He shook his head, still laughing, and decided to play along. Soon, they were both moving in an exaggerated manner, mimicking ridiculous dance moves and eliciting laughter from those around them.

The music changed to a faster pace, and the energy at the party reached a new peak. Kimi moved closer, resting a hand on his waist as they moved. The contact was casual, but present enough for him to notice it burning beneath his shirt. He didn’t say anything, just going with the moment.

 

As the hours passed, the drinks continued to flow, and they both found themselves becoming looser, more relaxed. At some point, he lost track of how much he had drunk, but by the time the music began to fade and some people started to say goodbye, it was clear that they were both pretty shaken.

Kimi, his cheeks flushed and an easy laugh on his lips, leaned into him as they leaned against one of the tables.

 

“I knew you’d have fun.” His voice was huskier than usual, with a playful tone that made Ollie shake his head, laughing.

“I think you had more fun than I did,” he replied, though his smile betrayed that he was enjoying every moment.

 

The other put an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close as he pointed to the drinks table.

 

“Last round before we get kicked out, what do you say?”

“I think we’ve had enough rounds, Antonelli.” But he didn’t move away, allowing Kimi to hold him close as they both continued to laugh.

The elevator slowly rose to their bedroom floor. They were both leaning against opposite walls of the cabin, their gazes fixed on some indefinite point as the lights flickered as they passed each level. The silence wasn’t awkward, just the product of the effects of the alcohol they’d consumed during the party. Still, there was something charged in the air, an electricity that seemed to grow with each passing second.

When the elevator doors opened, Kimi was the first to move, stumbling slightly before chuckling.

 

“Maybe I did have a little too much to drink,” the Italian admitted, turning the head toward him with a lazy smile.

“A little?” he joked, though he wasn’t much better either.

 

They walked down the hall with clumsy steps, searching for his room key as Kimi followed behind him, resting a hand on his shoulder to keep his balance. When they finally made it inside, the door closed behind them with a soft click, isolating them from the rest of the world.

They both lay back on the bed, their bodies barely separated. Kimi turned towards him, his eyes shining with that mix of affection and mischief that seemed amplified by the alcohol.

 

“You know something? You’re a good party companion, Bearman.” His voice was soft, and although there was a joking tone, there was also sincerity behind his words.

“It sounds like something you’d say when you’re too drunk to think straight.”

 

Kimi let out a laugh and moved a hand to gently slap his arm.

 

“I may be drunk, but I can still think clearly. And I’m telling the truth.” He paused, his smile fading slightly as a more serious expression took its place. “I’m going to miss you next year.”

 

He blinked, surprised by the sudden change in the Italian’s tone.

 

“We’ll see each other at the tracks all the time, and we’ll hang out during breaks.”

“It won’t be the same.” The younger man rested his head on his hand as he stared at him. “I won’t be able to just show up at your room in the paddock whenever I want, like I do now. And it’ll be harder to sneak into your hotel.”

“That’s the alcohol talking.” He tried to play it off quietly, not wanting to get his hopes up, but Kimi shook his head.

“It’s not.” 

 

His tone was firm, and the intensity in his eyes made Ollie swallow, unable to look away. There was something in his expression that went beyond the usual warmth, something that was overflowing with sincerity, as if every word he was about to say had been bottled up for weeks, waiting for the right moment to come out. Silence settled between them, heavy but not uncomfortable, as if they both knew that what was coming required space and attention. He felt the tension in his own chest, but he didn’t interrupt, waiting for Kimi to continue.

The Italian lowered his gaze for a moment, as if he were searching for the right words, before he looked up again, direct and charged with emotion.

 

“This year with you has been special. Not just on the track, but off it. You're... different, orsetto.” He paused, exhaling slowly, as if the weight of his thoughts was too much to let go of all at once. “I don't know how to explain it, but with you things feel easier, more natural.”

 

Kimi leaned slightly towards him, his voice lowering a little, laden with that vulnerability he rarely let show.

 

“You’re like coming home, to Bologna, after three months without a break and without seeing my family. That feeling of walking through the door, smelling my mamma’s cooking, hearing everyone’s voices, and knowing that, even if the world outside was chaos, everything was fine in there.” His eyes shone with something he couldn’t quite identify, but that made him feel a strange and familiar warmth at the same time. “Questo è ciò che provo sento sono con te. As if everything made sense, even when everything was upside down. As if, for a while, I could forget about the rest of the world. Solo noi. Solo tu.”

 

The Brit felt his heart pounding against his chest. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, the other's words, or both, but it felt like the ground beneath them had disappeared.

 

"Kimi..."

The Italian moved a little closer, until their foreheads were almost touching. "I don't want this year to end without you knowing how much you mean to me."

 

He fell silent, unable to look away from the opposing eyes. The weight of the words hit him full force, and though he wanted to respond, he didn't know where to begin. Kimi seemed to notice his internal struggle, because he smiled softly before speaking again.

 

“I've decided that I want to make up for the distance that will be between us next year. I want to get even closer to you off the track, so that this doesn't get lost. I'll make up for the time I won't be able to spend with you inside F1 with the time we'll spend off it. E dovremmo iniziare ora.”

“That sounds like a lot of effort on your part,” he joked, his voice shaking slightly, but the smile on his face showed that he was affected by the words.

"Ne vale la pena," he murmured in Italian, moving his hand to brush his arm, an almost shy gesture but full of meaning.

 

For a moment, neither of them said anything. They were too absorbed in the closeness, in the feeling of sharing something that went beyond words. Finally, he let out a sigh and allowed himself to lean against Kimi, resting his head on his shoulder.

 

“Thank you, Kimi. You’re worth it to me, too.”

 

The Italian smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his hair before closing his eyes.

 

“Sempre, orsetto. Sempre.”

Notes:

Okay, we loved the F3 race with Nikola closing the gap on Rafa, and Pepe winning in F2 is giving me live (with Alex Dunne making a comeback too!). Quali was really entertaining :)

And I just made a jasmine tea jelly cake for the first time, so let's see how it goes tomorrow😎

Chapter 10: Brazil, first crash

The Interlagos paddock was buzzing with activity, the air vibrating with the energy characteristic of a race weekend. Ollie had arrived with no expectations of racing, but ready to soak up the whole experience. However, things quickly changed when Kevin Magnussen began to feel unwell shortly before the first free practice session.

The Brit barely had time before he found himself adjusting his overalls and checking the car settings. Although it was a completely new circuit for him, he knew he had to seize the opportunity.

 

The session ended without incident, with him finishing third, just 0.195s behind Lando Norris and 0.014s behind George Russell (something that had thrilled him greatly when he got out of the car).

The engineers had given him positive feedback on his performance, but the fact that he had never raced at Interlagos made him feel a little out of place. Unlike his first two Formula 1 appearances, this time he did not have the backing of familiarity with the track.

 

As he wiped his sweat with a towel, he felt a growing sense of anxiety take hold of him. He paced the small room, trying to convince himself that everything would be okay. However, doubts were persistent, and the silence didn't help.

He pulled out his phone, looking for a distraction, but his eyes landed on Kimi’s name in his contact list. He hesitated for a moment. Should he call him? He knew Kimi would be busy with his own commitments at Mercedes, and he didn’t want to disturb him. But he wanted to hear his voice, to feel that calm he always managed to convey to him.

Finally, he sighed and pressed the call button.

 

“Ollie?” The voice came over the line, warm and confident, like a balm for his nerves.

“Hello, Kimi. Do you have a moment? I hope I’m not interrupting anything important.”

“You never interrupt. Are you okay?” he asked directly, his tone laden with genuine interest.

 

He let out a sigh, sitting on the edge of a chair as he rested his forehead on one hand.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine… I think. I’ve been told that I’ll probably have to do the sprint qualifying later. And if that happens, I’ll have to do the sprint tomorrow.”

“And that worries you?”

“A little. It’s just that… I’ve never raced here, and everything feels so new. In Baku and Saudi Arabia I had an idea of ​​what to expect, but here it’s different.”

 

Kimi was silent for a moment, and he could almost imagine him tilting his head, thinking of the best way to respond.

 

“Interlagos is a circuit that rewards drivers who know how to adapt. And you, orsetto, are very good at it.” He paused before adding in a lighter tone, “Besides, no one expects you to master the circuit on your first time. Just do your best. That’s always enough.”

 

He let out a soft laugh, the knot in his chest beginning to loosen.

 

“Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

“I’m always here for that.” The tone was so sincere that he couldn’t help but smile.

 

They talked a little more, about trivial things that managed to distract him. By the time they hung up, Ollie felt calmer, as if just talking to Kimi had re-ordered his mind.

He guessed that's how people felt when they liked someone.

 

---

 

The sky above Interlagos was covered in threatening clouds as he climbed into the car with practised movements. Unlike the anxiety that had eaten away at him before the first free practice session, this time he didn't feel the same uneasiness. He took a deep breath, adjusting his gloves. He didn't have unrealistic expectations. He knew the car wasn't the fastest on the grid, that the Haas was far from the top teams, but that didn't mean he couldn't squeeze every opportunity. And he believed he had.

From the start of SQ1, his pace was solid. He made no mistakes, found a good balance and managed to get through without any major problems. The team seemed satisfied, and so was he. 

When Nico was eliminated in SQ2, he was the only one left to ensure Haas had a place in SQ3, where he finished tenth. It wasn't the most impressive result, nor a surprise, but for the conditions he had raced in, for the little preparation he had made this weekend, it was a good place. The Haas also had its limits.

He got out of the car with a quiet feeling of satisfaction. He might not have set a time in SQ3, but he was in the top 10. He had done a good job, and that was enough.

 

---

 

He had started the sprint hoping to at least stay within the top 10, but the reality of the race had been different. He crossed the finish line in fourteenth position. It wasn't a total disaster, at least he hadn't had to retire the car like his teammate, but the disappointment was there, sitting on his chest like a bothersome weight.

 

Hours later he sighed as he slumped down on a table at the back of the garage, leaning against a pile of wrapped tires. His body felt exhausted, as if all the effort of the past two days was coming down on him all at once.

Qualifying had not yet taken place. The session had been delayed several times due to unstable weather, and each new announcement of a delay only made him feel more tired.

For a moment, he allowed himself to think about what would happen if qualifying didn’t happen. If they cancelled the session, they would use the results of free practice as the starting grid. Which would mean he would start the race from third position. His heart beat a little faster at the thought. It would be incredible. An unexpected opportunity. But he couldn’t get excited yet. It wasn’t certain.

He exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment, resting his head against the tires. All he wanted right now was to get some sleep, to let the exhaustion claim him, even if it was just for a few minutes. But then, an engineer's voice brought him out of his reverie.

 

"They've made a decision. Qualifying will take place tomorrow, before the race."

 

Ollie slowly opened his eyes, blinking them clear.

 

More waiting. More uncertainty.

 

He rubbed his eyes with his hands before slowly getting to his feet. There was nothing else to do on the circuit, so he headed straight for the hotel, feeling each step grow heavier.

With all the chaos of the day, he hadn't been able to see Kimi. They'd only exchanged a few quick messages between sessions, but there hadn't been time for more. He missed him. But he didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

 

When he finally got to his room, he stripped off his clothes and flopped onto the bed. He barely had time to throw his phone onto the nightstand before sleep took over completely.

Maybe tomorrow everything would feel a little better.

 

---

 

When Ollie woke up the next morning, he felt like he hadn’t slept at all. Fatigue still weighed on his limbs, and the pressure built up in his chest from the day before hadn’t gone away. He didn’t have much time to process it. Qualifying was first on his agenda, and he needed to get ready.

 

The sky over Interlagos was still grey when he arrived at the Haas garage. Raindrops still beaded on the surfaces, but conditions seemed stable enough for the session to go ahead without further delays.

 

He climbed into the car with a strange feeling in his stomach. He knew yesterday hadn’t been a bad result in the circumstances, but he couldn’t shake the need to do better. He needed to do better.

Q1 was tough. The car didn’t have the same balance he’d felt in free practice, and he had to milk every corner to get through. He couldn’t find his rhythm. He couldn’t set a lap that really satisfied him. And when the flag dropped, his name appeared on the board in 17th place.

Ollie stared at the screen for a long second before letting go of the wheel with a heavy sigh. Seventeenth. The number felt like a blow. It wasn’t the worst result in the world, but it wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t what he needed.

He climbed out of the car with his jaw set, not saying much as he walked to the back of the garage. He knew his engineer would try to find something positive in the situation, but at that moment, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.

He slumped into a chair, running a hand through his hair. It wasn’t the way he wanted to start the day. But he had to get on with it. There was still the race.

The rain began to fall harder. Ollie watched the sky through the garage entrance, watching the drops hit the asphalt with intensity. Announcements flashed on the monitors, announcing that the race was delayed.

They waited.

They waited more.

Hours passed, and the rain did not let up. The air was thick with uncertainty, and the fatigue of waiting only made the tension in his chest grow.

 

Ollie rested his elbows on his knees, fiddling with the edge of his gloves as he stared at the ground. He didn't think it would be safe to race in these conditions. The track was dangerous, the water didn't drain well, and visibility would be next to nothing. But then, the announcement came.

He felt his stomach sink slightly as he stood up. He adjusted his helmet, trying to convince himself he could handle it. But part of him wasn't sure.

 

From the start, he knew it would be a disaster. The water kicked up by the cars made it impossible to see past the nose. The car felt unmanageable on the straights, and every corner was a constant battle against aquaplaning. It wasn't long before the incidents began.

Ollie tried to stay out of trouble, but the track wouldn't let him. At one of the corners, he lost control and ended up out of bounds. His heart was pounding as he made his way back out onto the track, but the feeling of insecurity didn't leave him.

 

It was the worst race he had ever driven.

 

Every lap felt like a losing battle. He could not find the rhythm, he had no confidence in the car, let alone in the FIA ​​stopping everything before any severe accidents happened.

 

When he finally crossed the finish line, he felt like he could barely breathe. P12. He wasn't out of the points by much, but he knew he could have done better. He knew he had made too many mistakes.

 

He pulled off his helmet with shaking hands, his breathing still rapid as he climbed out of the car. His feet hit the ground awkwardly, and for a moment, all the noise around him felt muffled.

He was stressed. He felt like the weight of the race was still clinging to his shoulders, suffocating him. He forced himself to take a deep breath, but the knot in his chest didn’t go away. 

 

He just wanted this weekend to be over.

 

---

 

Post-race commitments were a welcome distraction. As he faced interviews, press questions and team meetings, Ollie found a foothold in rationality.

Yes, it had been a horrible race. Yes, he had felt like he was on the brink of disaster every lap. But he was still in one piece. He had finished the race. And more importantly, he had learned.

Not everything in Formula 1 was going to be moments of success and satisfaction. There were days like this, where frustration and helplessness mixed with adrenaline, where the struggle with the car felt bigger than the race itself. And he had to accept it. Learn to deal with it without letting it consume him.

 

By the time he left the circuit and returned to the hotel, exhaustion hit him hard. He moved around the room on autopilot, shedding his clothes, dropping items anywhere before dragging himself to the shower.

The hot water soothed his tense muscles, but it didn’t do much for his energy. When he got out, he barely had the strength to dry himself off before pulling on his pajama top and flopping down on the bed. For a moment, he thought about not eating dinner. Just sleeping. But then, there was a knock at the door.

He blinked, too tired to be surprised. He shuffled to the door and opened it without much thought.

 

“Ollie.”

 

Kimi was there, slightly disheveled, his Mercedes jacket undone, and breathing heavily, as if he had arrived in a hurry.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t come sooner. It’s been a shitty weekend and I wanted to see you but…” The words came out in a rush, one after the other in a blur. “I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care or wasn’t paying attention. How are you? Does anything hurt? God, tell me you at least ate something decent. Have you managed to get any sleep these days?”

 

He blinked again, his brain too slow to keep up. Kimi seemed to notice, because he took a deep breath and lowered his tone.

 

“You’ve had a rough day,” he said more calmly, watching him with a softer gaze. “How are you?”

“Tired,” he replied, bluntly.

 

Kimi nodded, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

 

“Have you eaten?” Ollie hesitated, and the Italian raised an eyebrow. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I’m not hungry,” he muttered, sitting back down on the bed.

 

The other crossed his arms, looking at him with a mix of disapproval and patience.

 

“Eat something light at least. I don’t want you to feel worse tomorrow for not having dinner.”

 

He sighed, but didn’t protest when Kimi moved to the small table and checked the tray of snacks his trainer had left. He grabbed a protein bar and a bottle of water before sitting next to him on the bed.

 

“Here,” he said, handing him the bar.

 

He took it with a tired snort, but Kimi didn’t flinch. He ate in silence, too exhausted to do anything else. The younger one didn't push him, just stood beside him, watching him softly.

 

When he finished, he received a nod. “Now you can sleep.”

 

He nodded, crawling under the covers with lazy movements. Kimi turned off the light before sliding into bed with him. Only a few seconds had passed when he felt Kimi's arm wrap around him familiarly, automatically pulling him against his chest. By the time the Italian had made him more comfortable against his body, he had already fallen asleep.

At least he had taken something positive from those days: he needed to improve.

Not in the technical sense, though that was also needed. He could get faster, more precise, he could learn from the mistakes of this race and make sure they weren't repeated. But it wasn't just about that. It wasn't enough to be a good driver if his own mind was playing against him, if every mistake was bringing him down.

He needed to trust himself more. Stop seeing every failure as proof that he wasn't enough and start seeing it as an opportunity to grow. Mature. Learn. This weekend had been tough, but he had come through it. He had endured the frustration, the uncertainty, the fear, and although at the moment it had all felt unbearable, he now knew he could handle it. And he had done it on his own.

 

But that led to another truth that settled with the same certainty in his chest: Kimi was always there. He was always his refuge when he felt like he couldn't stand alone. The first person he called when his world was shaking. And that was okay, right? It was natural to want to lean on someone, to share the difficult moments. But he couldn't depend on him for everything. 

If he wanted to become the best version of himself, he had to learn to stand on his own. Kimi could be by his side, but he couldn't be the reason he managed to get up every time he fell.

He needed to be strong on his own.

He needed to be happy on his own.

That was the real learning that this weekend left him.

 

Tomorrow, he would begin to build that version of himself. But for tonight, he allowed himself to stay right where he was.

 

Notes:

Well, after last week's DSQs and everything, I thought this week would be good, but Nikola had a bad sprint, Alex a DNF, Ollie got a 10-place penalty (he even made it to Q3), Kimi got a 3-place penalty, and Isack didn't make it to Q3. Everything went badly today, really :(

Chapter 11: Lusail, first defense

Night had fallen over the Lusail Desert with that fleeting speed that always took Ollie by surprise. One moment, the sky was still bathed in golden hues, the sun casting a soft glow over the paddock tents, and the next, everything was a warm, dense darkness, barely broken by the artificial light from the spotlights and live monitors. The heat, however, didn't go away with the sun. It remained there, sticky, persistent, like an invisible layer over the skin.

Ollie walked with a water bottle in his hand, still bearing traces of the celebration on his clothes. There was a Sprite stain on his arm that had refused to disappear since he stepped off the podium. The smile hadn't left his face since then. He had won. He had won.

The sprint in Qatar. With the Haas waiting in the future, the pressure, the eyes that never stopped following his every step. And he had won. Driven clean. Aggressive, but precise. Strong. Brilliant.

And yet, part of his joy was clouded by a single memory: Kimi. The image of his teammate, his best friend on the track, leaving the circuit after contact. Ollie had sought him out as soon as he stepped off the podium, the cup still trembling in his fingers and adrenaline still ringing in his ears. He found him sandwiched between engineers and team members, his suit half open, his chest stained with sweat, and frustration along his jawline.

 

"I'm sorry," he'd said, unsure of what exactly he was apologizing for.

 

Kimi looked at him with those dark eyes that always seemed to know more than they were saying, and patted him on the shoulder.

 

"Why are you apologizing, orsetto?" he asked with a faint smile. "You drove a perfect race. Don't let my shit tarnish that."

 

And there it had been. That sparkle in his voice, that genuine pride, the kind he always seemed to reserve just for him.

 

Now, an hour later, Ollie was shuffling down the hotel hallway in flip-flops and a loose T-shirt, letting the shower water dry slowly on his neck. Kimi had insisted they meet later in his room. It was too hot to sleep apart without worrying about the other's well-being after the race, the air conditioning in his room was better (a lie), and there was no point in them both fretting when the solution was simple and normal at this point. Ollie had said yes without much thought.

He was standing in front of the door when it opened from the inside.

 

"It was about time," Kimi said softly, his hair still damp from the shower, a pair of cotton shorts hanging around his hips with the laziness of the end of a long day.

"I wasn't long. I told you I'd be here after I showered," he replied, raising an eyebrow as he entered.

 

Kimi snatched the water bottle from him without asking and brought it to his lips. Ollie watched him drink with a small smile.

 

"Are you okay?" he asked then, lowering his voice.

 

The other put the bottle aside and nodded slowly.

 

"Yeah. It wasn't a great day for me, but I saw you out there. You drove like a champion." He gave him a gentle push on the shoulder with his hand. "You made me proud."

 

Ollie smiled, but looked down for a second. It was still hard to handle those words coming from him.

 

"Thank you."

 

There was a brief silence. Warm. Pleasant. Kimi sank down onto the bed with a long, exaggerated sigh. Ollie felt something prick his chest, his heart racing at the familiarity of the sight. He set his backpack aside, kicked off his flip-flops, and plopped down next to him. The sheets were cool, the air conditioning hummed in the room like a lullaby.

 

"You know we only have one more race together?" Kimi asked quietly, not moving.

"I know," he replied, after a second of hesitation.

"So? Are you going to get emotional with me, Bearman?"

 

Ollie chuckled.

 

“Probably. Won’t you?”

 

Kimi rolled over in bed to face him. His expression was soft. Tired, but soft.

 

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think about how much I’m going to hate not having you there, right next to me. You know, to listen to me complain. To steal my snacks. To leave your stuff in my space and pretend you don’t.”

“And you?” Ollie looked back at him, shrinking slightly into his body. “Aren’t you going to miss having me there to pick you up when you trip over your ego?”

 

The Italian let out a soft laugh, and for a second, the distance between them seemed to shrink even further.

 

“A lot more than I thought.”

 

There was something in his tone. Something that shook Ollie, but he didn't know how to process it. Because it had been a sincere answer. And Kimi didn't usually say things like that out of the blue, it was still hard for him.

 

"It's going to be weird, you know?" Ollie murmured. "Seeing your car and knowing I can't just walk across the garage and tell you what I think. Or go to your room with any excuse."

 

Kimi nodded. Then he reached out and dropped an arm onto Ollie's cheek as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

 

"Well, we can still do that. We won't be teammates, but you can still put up with me. Mercedes won't forbid you from talking to me; it's in my contract," he joked gently. "And Haas better not even try."

 

Kimi chuckled as he said it, but his hand didn't move from where he'd left it: on Ollie's cheek, his fingers barely grazing the line of his jaw, his thumb caressing distractedly and gently as if he weren't even thinking about it. Ollie noticed it immediately. Not just the touch, but the way that touch was more... intimate. Slower. More affectionate. Kimi was usually affectionate with him, yes, but the intention that permeated this time...

Ollie had shared many rooms with Kimi. He'd seen him sleep, shower, change, cry, laugh, rage with frustration. He'd felt his hand on his shoulder, on the back of his neck, the half-asleep weight of Kimi when he'd fallen asleep on top of him while he did things on his phone or laptop. This was different. There was something about the gesture, something beyond habit, that made him hold his breath for a few seconds. Kimi was touching him as if aware of every inch he touched. As if he wanted to memorize the sensation. As if he liked it.

He was usually more possessive in his affection, more dominant in the way he took and took and offered and offered. Today he seemed… reserved. But that was precisely what gave the impression there was more to his caresses.

 

“Orsetto?” He blinked, returning to the present. Kimi was watching him from very close, his dark eyes open, patient. "Are you tired?"

"A little," he conceded, his voice softer than he'd intended. Enough to sound sincere, but also enough to betray the slight tremor running through him.

 

Kimi nodded and lowered his hand, but not completely. He left the fingers on his collarbone, over the fabric of his pajamas, as if he simply didn't want to stop touching him yet. That tenderness, that kind of lingering contact... it wasn't exactly new, but it had never been this clear. This constant.

 

"You were stunning today," he murmured, his voice husky with sleep or heat or something else Ollie didn't dare name.

"Thank you," he repeated, feeling the words stick to the roof of his mouth. Why was his heart pounding so hard today?

 

He'd decided weeks ago that he had to learn to be more independent from Kimi. That he couldn't let his entire emotional world revolve around him. He'd understood it, accepted it, and begun to act accordingly. But in that moment, lying in a hotel bed with Kimi's arm resting on his chest, the warm gaze of that pair of eyes that knew him so well fixed on him, everything was becoming disorganized again.

Because yes. He'd decided to distance himself emotionally for a bit. He'd made the effort. But he hadn't stopped being in love with Kimi for a second. And Kimi... Kimi didn't know that. Kimi touched him with affection, with tenderness, with that distracted warmth that in anyone else would be confusing, but in him just seemed to flow. As if it were inevitable. As if he didn't even think about it.

Ollie swallowed. He didn't move. He didn't want to break the moment, in case it was one of those rare ones that didn't happen again.

 

"What are you thinking?" Kimi asked, his voice so soft it seemed unwilling to break the thick air between them.

"Nothing important," he replied, unsure if it was entirely true.

 

The Italian narrowed his eyes, and his hand moved slowly, moving just a few inches up his chest until it rested on the collar of his shirt. He played with the seam for a moment, as if he were doing it without thinking. But he was doing it. He was touching it.

 

"Liar," he said, half smiling.

 

If you could see how you're behaving. If you could notice that this isn't quite friendship. If you were someone else, I'd think you really wanted to kiss me, the way I want you to. But it's you, Kimi. And you don't know it. Or you don't see it. Or you don't understand. Maybe you want to touch me, but not the way I want you to. Not with the love I want, the love I desire, the love I need. Not the way I love you.

 

Silence fell between them again, comfortable. Kimi's fingers remained there, playing with the fabric. Then they went still, and only the warmth of the touch remained.

 

"Are you going to let me hold you, or are you just going to keep lying there like a log?" the Italian asked in a low, amused voice.

"It depends," he replied, turning slowly. "Are you going to push up against me like a bear, or are you going to give me space?"

 

Kimi snorted with a soft laugh and pulled him against his chest with easy movements.

 

"You won today. You have the right to choose the privileged position."

"Good answer," he murmured, letting his forehead rest against Kimi's shoulder, the other's arm wrapped around him as if it had always been there.

 

That's how they remained. Wordless for a few minutes. Just the hum of the air conditioning, the rhythm of each other's heart, the stillness of the world finally stopping. And when Ollie closed his eyes, he thought this was the closest he could get to having everything he wanted. Even if it hurt a little. Even if he had to keep quiet about it.

For now, that silence, that touch, and that part of Kimi that he could reach, were more than enough.

 

---

 

The next morning arrived mercilessly. The Lusail sky, which seemed to forget the concept of shadow, rose like a bonfire suspended over the track. And although they both knew it would be a difficult day—the last race of the weekend, extreme temperatures, pent-up pressure—neither of them anticipated it would be so daunting.

Kimi didn't even complete the race. A collision in the pit lane had damaged his steering wheel and axle. He ended up in the gravel, a scream pent up in his throat and helplessness written in every line of his body as he got out of the car. He didn't scream. He didn't throw anything. He just walked toward the walls, still wearing his gloves, his jaw clenched, as if the only thing keeping him from breaking in two was the pent-up tension.

Ollie finished twelfth. No pace, no miracles. A difficult race from the start, with the car unbalanced and his thoughts divided between the steering wheel and what he couldn't see: how Kimi was doing. Frustration lodged itself between his ribs like a fishhook. For him. For his teammate. For how unfair it was to close their penultimate weekend together in PREMA like this before the finale.

 

Hours passed with an awkward silence between the two. Not out of discomfort, but out of an unspoken agreement. They both needed time to process. But the night brought with it an unexpected plan. The hotel pool, also open at night, half-hidden between white walls and decorative palm trees, seemed like an oasis that no one had noticed until then. And when Kimi mentioned it in passing, "Did you know there's a pool?" Ollie just nodded. Yes, he would go. Of course he would.

It was already after nine when they met there. Both wearing loose T-shirts and swimsuits. The water shimmered like oil under the hotel's artificial moon. There was something about the night, about the warm humidity, that left their senses more sensitive, more open. A tense silence, yes, but not unpleasant. Just charged with everything they weren't saying.

Ollie was the first to enter, descending the steps without breaking the surface. Kimi followed, and for a few minutes, they just swam. Floated. Without speaking. The lights at the bottom of the pool illuminated the profiles of their faces, distorted by the reflection of the water.

Kimi stayed close to the edge, leaning with his arms outstretched, his wet hair falling over his forehead. Ollie slid in next to him, also leaning his back against the edge, though not touching it.

 

"It wasn't a great day," he finally said, without needing to specify who he was talking to: Kimi or himself.

"No," Kimi replied. "It was shit, to be honest."

 

Ollie let out a soft laugh. The water covered him up to his chest. He turned his head to look at him, and found his eyes closed.

 

"Are you really angry?"

 

Kimi hesitated. Then he shook his head, without opening his eyes.

 

"Not angry. Just disappointed. I guess I wanted everything to be... perfect." He paused. "But it never is."

 

Ollie watched him silently. The profile of his nose, the curve of his lips, the droplet falling from his chin into the water. Everything about him seemed immensely close, yet unattainable.

 

"You know that, even with that, you're still the best driver I know, right?"

 

Kimi opened his eyes and glanced at him. And for the first time all day, he smiled.

 

"Say that again. I like the way it sounds coming from your mouth."

 

He let out a low laugh, incredulous.

 

"What?"

"What you said. Come on. Look at me and say it again."

 

He turned to him, eyebrow raised, though a smile trembled at the corner of his lips.

 

"You're the best driver I know."

 

Kimi leaned toward him. Just a little. Just a few inches.

 

"That's because you only know very bad drivers."

"Idiot," he muttered, though he continued to smile at him.

 

Kimi laughed, the sound falling among the ripples of the water like a soft vibration. And then, without Ollie expecting it, water splashed directly onto his chest.

 

"Hey!" he protested, startled.

"You were getting very serious. And we've had enough of that for today."

 

Ollie didn't respond immediately. He stared at him, wet, drops running down his neck. His gaze softened. A little lower. Kimi was actually smiling now. Not like before, when all he offered were tired gestures.

The Brit sighed. He took a half step closer in the water.

 

"Feeling a little better?"

"With you here," Kimi said, then shrugged. "I always feel better with you."

 

Ollie had to lower his gaze and swallow. These were the kinds of phrases that turned his world upside down. These were the kinds of phrases Kimi spoke with a charming lightness, and which took him days to digest.

He shifted his gaze to the reflection of the lights in the water, as if there he could hide the slight tremor that had settled in his throat. His heart was beating too fast for the calm he intended.

Kimi didn't move. He stood there, a few inches away, staring at him as if he didn't understand the revolution his words were causing. And the worst part—or the best, depending on the angle from which you looked at him—was that everything about him seemed completely genuine. Sometimes it was the balm he needed, and other times, the knife he couldn't avoid.

 

"Do you know what we should do?" Kimi asked suddenly, breaking the silence with that calm voice, a little quieter than before.

 

He raised an eyebrow, still stuck in his restraint.

 

"I'm afraid to ask."

"Travel after Abu Dhabi. Just you and me. A quick getaway. No circuits. No schedules. No press. No mechanics interrupting every conversation with a tablet in hand."

"A getaway?" he repeated, with a laugh somewhere between disbelief and nervousness.

 

Kimi nodded.

 

"Yeah. Somewhere nice. Where we don't have to do anything but sleep and eat and... be."

 

Ollie looked down at the water. Kimi's quivering reflection was there, dancing beneath the surface. He couldn't take it as anything. Not coming from Kimi. Not with that tone, not with that pause on "be," as if that were enough.

 

“That sounds too nice,” he commented, in a low voice, testing, feeling the limits.

 

Kimi looked at him unfazed. His eyes were too dark to read clearly, but his expression was calm. As if he hadn't fully understood the burden those words carried for Ollie.

 

"So?" was all he said.

 

He didn't answer. He didn't know how. Because "so?" was too open a response. Too dangerous. So he just sighed and swam to the other end of the pool, calmly exiting the water. The night air was warm and humid on his wet skin. Kimi watched him from the edge, saying nothing.

 

"Are you going to stay there or are you coming?" he asked after a few seconds, drying his face with the towel he'd left on a nearby chair.

 

Kimi smiled. He slid underwater with a slow stroke and emerged beside him.

 

As they gathered their things, they didn't speak much more. But something hovered between them. Something that didn't yet have a name, but that they both felt. Ollie knew it. Even though he denied it every day. Even though he told himself that all of this, all of this so soft and sweet, couldn't be what he wanted it to be.

They walked in silence a little longer. Under the starry Qatari night, their footsteps echoed on the stone floor. Ollie felt his heart fill with something he didn't understand. An enormous tenderness. An anticipated sadness. An unspeakable longing. And also a quiet certainty: whatever it was that united them, it grew stronger every day.

 

Notes:

I'm considering adding a few more chapters, so don't be surprised if the number suddenly increases. The characters are kind of doing what they want, and it doesn't fit in my timeline anymore😅

Chapter 12: Crying, second change

Wednesday, December 4th, dawned seemingly calm in Abu Dhabi. The sky was a cloudless blue, clear as if the world had no idea what was approaching. But Ollie knew it. And although he hid it well—with smiles when necessary, sarcastic comments at the right moments, and a rehearsed calm—his body spoke another language. One that trembled at the slightest touch of Kimi's, one that tensed every time the other moved too far away, as if their physical distance confirmed what the calendar already announced with cruel certainty: it was their last weekend together in F2.

They had settled into the hotel the night before, but only that morning did they truly begin to settle into each other. They had breakfast sitting too close, sharing spoonfuls of whatever Kimi had ordered even though Ollie had sworn he didn't feel like it, allowing their arms to brush more than necessary, their knees to touch under the table without withdrawing. 

They didn't talk about the separation, but it was there. Suspended in the air like desert dust. An invisible detail that covered everything, that made the laughter softer and the silences denser.

Kimi had become a constant in his life, like the vibration of the engine under his body or the warmth of the sun on his neck as he left the pit. Knowing he wouldn't be at the end of the hall, in the next room, across the corridor on the other side of the garage... it seemed so unreal that his mind still refused to fully accept it.

 

That day they barely trained. The activity was light: adjustments with engineers, mental preparation, checking telemetry, reviewing data, adapting to the circuit and the layout. But beyond that, there was the togetherness. That way Kimi followed him instinctively, or the way Ollie found excuses to search for his voice among the others. As if time had begun to run out and he needed to record every moment, every word, every touch, like an animal storing food before winter.

 

As they walked through the track's corridors after a technical meeting, Kimi reached out and gently tugged at the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

 

"Are you going to run?" he asked, without slowing down.

 

Ollie looked at him, feigning confidence.

 

"What are you saying? I was just going to the pits."

 

Kimi didn't let go. Instead, he held him for a second longer, before dropping the fabric and continuing to walk beside him, as if nothing had happened.

This was new. Or rather, it was old in disguise again. Because Kimi had always been physical with him, in a carefree, natural way. But ever since the pool in Qatar, something had changed. His caresses were softer, his hands slower, his eyes more attentive. Kimi looked at him more carefully. And Ollie… Ollie didn't know how to deal with it. Because now, every gesture unsettled him. Every brush of his hip, every distracted pressure on his back, every time Kimi said his name in a low, husky voice at night, made his heart behave as if it didn't belong to him. And yet, he clung to it. As if he could take every second and tuck it away beneath his skin. As if at the end of the weekend he could say: I'll keep this too.

 

In the afternoon, they stayed in Ollie's room. Supposedly to go over car data. The laptop was still open on the coffee table, the timesheet static, forgotten. Kimi was lying on the bed, one foot dangling over the edge, and Ollie was half-wedged between his legs, head resting on his stomach like a pillow.

Ollie closed his eyes, feeling Kimi's breath move beneath his cheek. Slowly. Steadily. The warmth of his body lulled him. He wasn't asleep, but he wasn't fully awake either. He was there, floating in that in-between place where everything seemed easier. Where he could still pretend they weren't ending.

He thought about what it would be like to not have him next week. Not to hear his voice every day. Not to run into him in the garage hallways. Not to share silences like that. He thought about what would come next. How difficult it would be to keep his heart intact and have to hide it alone. Because if it hurt now, what would it be like when he could no longer touch it without permission, without excuse?

And yet, part of him still held hope. A small but stubborn hope that clung to the promise Kimi had made him. We'll keep seeing each other, he'd said. I won't stop being close.

Ollie clung to that promise like a child to its favorite blanket. Because if Kimi didn't fulfill it... he didn't know how he'd survive the absence. The empty nights. The lack of his hands. That emptiness that he knew exactly how much it would hurt.

He opened his eyes again and looked up. Kimi was looking at him. His fingers tangled in his hair, saying nothing. A smile barely curled his lips. One of those that meant nothing to the world, but meant everything to him.

And in that moment, he knew the weekend wasn't over yet.

There were still a few days left.

He could still continue loving him silently.

They could still continue like this, glued to each other, as if there were no future. Only that Wednesday. Only Abu Dhabi. Only them.

 

The sun was beginning to soften its light over the city, casting long, golden shadows against the hotel window. The air conditioner hummed in the background, and the television remained on at a barely audible volume, as if they had both completely forgotten its existence. The room was immersed in that kind of silence that isn't empty, but filled with things left unsaid.

He didn't move, feeling Kimi's warmth beneath his cheek, seeping through the fabric of his T-shirt. He didn't know how long they'd been like this. He just didn't want it to end. Every second, every tiny breath Kimi took, was a countdown that tightened his chest.

He subtly shrank in on himself, snuggling closer, as if he could melt into the other's body and never have to part. Kimi's fingers continued to play absentmindedly with his hair, so soft it ached. Each touch was like a direct caress to his nerves. As if his whole body knew what was coming, and was already starting to hurt before its time.

He didn't understand why this was happening to him now. There were still days to go. Races. Nights. But maybe that was what was making his throat clench. The knowledge that they were already settled. That this was the last circuit. That after this room, this couch, this moment… nothing would ever be the same.

He thought about how Kimi had been more distant the last month. More polite. More measured. Not cold, but different. As if he were trying something. As if he were also preparing his heart for what was to come.

He'd noticed it. He'd felt it like a constant pang. And he'd tried not to take it personally. He'd told himself that maybe it was Kimi's way of dealing with the separation. That everyone experienced it differently. That he couldn't expect it to hurt the same.

It hurt like this for him. With this tightness in his chest. With his eyes slowly filling up as he breathed deeply against Kimi's shirt. Wanting to talk, to tell him how much he feared the emptiness that would come, but unable to. Because then he'd ruin everything.

Kimi, however, was as sweet as he'd always been before that strange distance. As if he'd suddenly allowed himself to come back. As if he'd understood that this was what they needed most: the contact, the closeness, the shared silences. And Ollie clung to it with everything he had. Even when his eyes filled with tears without him being able to stop them.

The first crystals slid down without warning. Two, maybe three, absorbed by the fabric of Kimi's shirt before he could do anything to stop them.

That's when Kimi leaned in.

 

"Orsetto?" he murmured, his voice very low, very close to his ear. "Are you okay?"

 

He didn't answer. He swallowed hard, remaining still. But the slight tremor in his shoulders gave him away. Kimi sat up slowly, until he was sitting up completely, and with one hand he stroked the back of his neck with unusual care, while with the other he gently moved his face away from his abdomen so he could look at him. And there he saw him. His eyes were bright, the tip of his nose was red, his lower lip pursed as if trying not to break.

 

"Ollie..." he whispered, and his tone changed. It was no longer sweet; it was urgent. Concerned. Deep. "Hey. What's wrong? Does something hurt? Are you unwell?"

 

The Brit shook his head slightly, lowering his gaze. But another tear fell down his cheek. Kimi immediately caught it with his thumb, slowly wiping it away, his brow furrowing slightly.

 

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" he asked again, more slowly. As if afraid of scaring him away.

 

He took a deep breath. A very deep breath. He closed his eyes. Kimi's hand was now on his cheek, holding him so carefully that it was impossible not to break a little more. That touch... that was what hurt the most. That it was this good. That he felt this safe. That he cared for him.

 

"I don't know," he finally whispered, his voice shaky, almost childlike. "I just... I feel weird. And sad. But I don't know why right now."

 

Kimi nodded, still stroking his cheek.

 

"It's okay. You don't have to know." His voice was so soft it hurt even more. "But you don't have to keep it to yourself, okay? I'm here."

 

He closed his eyes tighter. Another tear. Another slow caress to erase it. His chest ached, yet felt full, as if Kimi's sweetness were enveloping him and he couldn't fully breathe, but didn't want to escape either.

 

"It's just..." he tried. "I don't want it to end."

 

Kimi didn't say anything right away. He just looked at him. And then he pulled him back against his chest, settling him slowly. Caressing his back with a firm, patient hand.

 

"Me neither," he murmured against his hair.

 

And Ollie didn't say anything else. Because if he did, he'd really cry. Because the comfort was too much. Because Kimi was being perfect. Just like he always had been. Like he always was when no one was looking. And because he knew, with all the certainty in the world, that he wouldn't be able to let go without it hurting every night for a long, long time.

Kimi didn't move for a long time. He just held Ollie against his chest, one hand firmly on his back, the other tracing gentle circles on his side as if it were his only way of saying, "You're safe."

The silence between them was thick, but not awkward. It was full of subdued tenderness, of careful breaths, of a shared pulse that slowly settled into caresses and human warmth.

 

"It's okay," Kimi whispered, his voice even lower, right in Ollie's ear. "You can cry if you need to. It's okay. I'm not going to leave."

 

He let his forehead rest on the Italian's chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath his shirt. That beat was an anchor. A refuge. A reminder that, at least for now, Kimi was still there. He was still his, somehow. They were still "us."

Kimi lowered his head slightly to nuzzle his cheek, slowly wiping away the traces of tears.

 

"I've got you, orsetto. Yeah? I'm here."

 

And it wasn't the first time he'd said it. But it sounded different. More… conscious. Deeper. He let his body relax against Kimi's, his arms slowly wrapping around his waist, as if he found it difficult to let himself be held. But he did. He let himself be held. Because he needed to be. Because no one in the world knew how to soothe him the way he did.

 

"I'm sorry," he murmured after a while, without lifting his head.

 

Kimi frowned.

 

"You don't have to apologize for feeling things." He placed a short, light kiss on the top of his head, without giving it much thought. "Sometimes you're so busy being strong that you forget I can take care of you too. It's happened to you a lot lately."

 

Those words were another lump in Ollie's throat. He swallowed, his fingers tightening in Kimi's shirt.

 

"Sometimes I don't know how to do it," he confessed, his voice muffled. "Let me take care of myself, I mean."

"Well, start now," he replied without hesitation, placing another kiss, this time behind his ear. "Because I intend to keep doing it."

 

The murmur floated between them. Kimi kept stroking him, slow, steady. Each movement measured. As if he knew exactly which parts of Ollie were most fragile, where to gently squeeze to put him back together.

 

"Do you want me to put something on TV?" he whispered after a while. "Or do you want me to hold you until you fall asleep?"

 

Ollie shook his head with a small movement.

 

"Just... stay like that."

"I can do that," he replied, and smiled, even though Ollie couldn't see him.

 

Then he hugged him a little tighter. Not crushing. Not urgent. Just enough pressure that Ollie felt that, if all else failed, this hug wouldn't do it.

After a while, Kimi started murmuring soft things. Nonsense. Memories. The kinds of things he knew made him smile. Ollie let out a low laugh, barely a shaped sigh.

 

"There it is," Kimi said, smiling against his hair. "That's the laugh I wanted to hear."

 

He lifted a hand and placed it on Kimi's chest, right over his heart. He wasn't crying anymore. But the melancholy was still there, wrapping around him like a wet blanket. Kimi knew it because he didn't stop stroking him. He didn't stop talking to him. He didn't stop being there.

And, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he leaned down and brushed his lips against his cheek. A chaste touch. Light. Barely a touch that was more tender than any words.

 

"I'm with you, Ollie," he murmured against his skin. "And I'm going to stay that way."

 

Ollie closed his eyes. Because if he didn't, he would have cried again. But this time not out of sadness. But out of the devastating beauty of feeling loved just when he needed it most. And, most of all, out of the fear of losing him when he was no longer by his side every day.

Notes:

Well, as I said, the story gets longer :)

Just a heads up that I'll be taking a vacation, I'll keep updating when I get back as usual🙃

Chapter 13: Yas Island, third contact

December 6th dawned like any other day on Yas Island. The sun rose with its usual arrogance over the white roofs of the paddock, reflecting off the polished glass of the hotel and making the temperature feel stifling even at dawn. Ollie noticed it as soon as he woke up, opening the curtains in his room to look at the sky, which hadn't yet changed color. It wasn't a special day. Not yet. But it would be the last Friday of his life in F2. And Kimi's too.

He thought about it while he showered, while he dressed in his PREMA uniform, while he met with the engineers and they reviewed the day's schedule. He thought about how strange it would be not to repeat that routine with Kimi, not to sit next to him while they went over data, not to hear his voice complaining about the heat or that he hadn't slept well. But that morning was different for another reason. Because Kimi didn't complain. Kimi didn't talk much. And that, for him, was unusual.

 

"Are you okay?" he asked mid-morning, in the garage, as they reviewed something on the screen in front of them.

 

Kimi nodded slowly. But there was something in his eyes, in the way his shoulders were lower than usual, in his posture, that made him frown.

 

"Are you sure?"

"I'm tired, orsetto. But I'm fine," he replied, with a smile so weak it almost seemed like it was drawn with charcoal and was about to be erased.

 

He didn't insist. Even though his fingers itched to do so. Kimi was like that. Sometimes, when he didn't want to talk, it was like running into a soft-spoken retaining wall. But Ollie stayed closer than usual. Something in his body wanted to be there. As if he already knew what was coming.

And that was what came. A slow decline. The heat of the paddock seemed to weigh twice as heavily on Kimi. By the afternoon, he was done joking. He no longer had the strength to argue with the engineers, or to laugh when Ollie threw in an easy joke. He only responded with gentle nods, short words, and an increasingly glazed look. He ran a hand over his forehead more than once. Just seeing that was enough to tell him something was wrong.

 

"You should go to the hotel," he said quietly, leaning toward him.

 

Kimi shook his head.

 

"I want to be here. It's our last weekend. I don't want to miss anything. I did badly enough in Qatar."

 

But he was already losing it. Every hour took him further away from the track, further away from himself. And though he wanted to insist, he didn't, because he knew Kimi. Because he knew that sometimes loving someone means letting them stay, even if it hurts.

 

That night, Kimi didn't ask him to have dinner together. And Ollie sat there with his stomach in knots, his phone between his fingers, sending a text that didn't get an immediate response. It took him almost an hour to get a reply, and it was a terse, "I'm in bed. Everything hurts. Don't come over. I don't want you to catch whatever this is."

And Ollie stared at the screen. Silent. His chest was in knots. Because if Kimi was admitting this, he really felt bad.

 

---

 

On the morning of December 7, the paddock woke up to the news spreading like wildfire: Kimi wouldn't be racing the sprint. Ollie heard it from the engineers, then saw it confirmed on social media, then from the PREMA team itself. He stood motionless for a few seconds in front of the official statement. There was a file photo of Kimi, his name highlighted. One sentence spoke of a fever, another of indisposition. And although he didn't say it directly, everyone knew what it meant: he probably wouldn't be racing on Sunday either.

Ollie swallowed, closed his phone, and took a deep breath. He called him as soon as he had five minutes free between the team meeting and last-minute adjustments. Kimi answered on the third call.

 

"Ollie?"

"Hey," he replied, softer than he intended. "How are you?"

 

The voice on the other end sounded muffled. Hoarse. Slow.

 

"I could be better. But..." he coughed. "I'm going to live."

"I know. But I still needed to hear it."

 

There was a silence. One of those long ones, where you don't know if the other is asleep, or if it just hurts too much to talk.

 

"I'm sorry I'm not there," Kimi murmured. "I didn't mean for this weekend to be like this. I didn't want to leave you alone."

"You're not leaving me alone. I'm with you. Just not physically. But you are. You're always there."

 

Kimi sighed. And he could almost hear him turning in the hotel sheets. He imagined him there, pale, burning inside, hating every second of weakness. He imagined him with his face buried in the pillow, angry with his own body.

 

"Finish the race and come see me," the Italian then requested, in that voice he only used when he was exhausted. "Not to stay, you can't sleep here. But... have dinner with me, okay? Just for a little while."

"Of course," he assured him, without hesitation. "Of course, Kimi."

 

And although he spent the rest of the day dragging a knot in his stomach, although the sprint was difficult without him, without his voice on the radio, without his jokes in the morning or his hand on his back, Ollie finished fourth. His heart elsewhere. His soul wanting only one thing: to see him.

 

As soon as he finished his media commitments, he got into the hotel car, his skin still wet from the shower and his hair dripping, and headed to his room. To his Kimi. To the boy waiting for him behind a closed door, sweating feverishly, his body exhausted... but with enough space for him.

He went with his heart heavy, but his hands open. Because if Kimi couldn't drive, he would drive for both of them. And if he couldn't sleep next to him, at least they would have dinner together.

 

The room smelled of mint and medicine. Of closed curtains, recirculated air, and the familiarity of someone who's spent too much time under the covers without meaning to. He barely had time to knock when the door slowly opened, revealing a Kimi who looked like a pale, faded version of himself.

 

"You don't look well," he murmured as soon as he saw him.

 

Kimi snorted softly, letting the door close behind him with a small click.

 

"I don't feel better than I look."

 

The light was dim. There was a tray of food—white rice, boiled vegetables, and a mild broth that looked like something off a hospital menu—waiting for him on the small table in the room. Ollie didn't ask any questions. He just sank into the chair next to the bed as Kimi sat back down, moving slowly, as if his body weighed twice as much.

 

"Have you eaten anything today?" he asked gently.

 

Kimi nodded. His eyelids were lowered, but his gaze was steady. He hadn't completely surrendered to the fever. Not yet.

 

"A little. Before. But I'm hungry now. You smell like flowers," he said, almost smiling.

"Probably. I stole someone's soap so I could get showered as quickly as possible."

"How are you?" he asked hoarsely. "Fourth, right?"

"Yeah," Ollie replied. "It wasn't bad."

 

But his voice sounded strange. As if he was trying to make it more cheerful than it really was.

They ate dinner in silence. Ollie laughed once at a comment he wouldn't even remember moments later, and he looked away every time he felt Kimi's eyes fixed on him for too long. Something in the room had frozen, something to do with the distance the fever imposed, but also the shadow of what was to come next.

When they finished, Kimi leaned back against the pillows, his forehead still beaded with sweat despite the air conditioning.

 

"You should go now," he murmured, not harshly. "I don't want to infect you. You still have the race tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want you to be sick because of me."

 

Ollie sighed. He looked at it for a moment, as if trying to memorize it. Kimi smiled tiredly at him and reached out a hand.

 

"Come," he said, and Ollie leaned down to let him kiss his cheek. It was a warm, slow, tender touch. As if the Italian needed to remind him with a gesture what he couldn't express with words at that moment. "Go to sleep," he added softly. "I'll be here. Call me tomorrow when this is all over, okay?"

 

He nodded, but stayed there, just for a second longer. Looking at him. Telling him with his eyes everything he couldn't say with words. Then he left.

And that night, he slept little.

 

---

 

Sunday arrived with that final air that permeated everything. The paddock was a hive of early farewells. The looks were different. The hugs, longer. The gestures, charged with an emotion he didn't dare express. It was the last day.

Ollie didn't talk much to anyone. He smiled enough. He nodded in the meetings. He did everything he had to do while holding back the tears of having to say goodbye to what had been his home for so long, without his Kimi to lean on. And then he went out onto the track, knowing that the Italian wouldn't be preparing a few meters away. That he wouldn't have that steady stare while they prepared. That he wouldn't receive a dry and precise comment after the race, joking in that language only the two of them knew. He was alone.

 

He finished fifth. A good result, given the circumstances. He maintained his pace, took care of his tires, and fought where he needed to fight. And as soon as he could get away from team commitments (after a tearful farewell), he called Kimi. He didn't even wait for the hotel. He got away from everyone and dialed.

 

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded a little less hoarse.

"I'm done. Fifth."

"I know," Kimi replied. "I’ve seen you on the screen. I’ve been watching from my bed. You were great. Steady."

 

He closed his eyes. The lump in his throat tightened a little.

 

"I'm on my way," he murmured. "I'm leaving now."

"I'll wait for you."

 

He hung up before saying anything else.

 

Kimi was sitting on the bed when he arrived. He'd tried to brush his hair back, though it was still a bit damp. He had a glass of water in his hand and a blanket over his legs. He looked less weak, but just as subdued.

 

"Did they let you escape?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I had my ways," Ollie replied, wandering in without asking, leaving his backpack aside.

 

He sat down next to him, and for a second, neither of them spoke. Kimi was the one who broke the silence.

 

"You're making that face," he said.

"What face?"

"The one where you're sad but pretend you're not. You've been doing it for months."

 

Ollie swallowed. He looked at the floor. He didn't have the strength to lie.

 

"It's just... it's over."

"I know."

"And you weren't there. Not the way you wanted to be."

 

Kimi nodded, lowering his gaze.

 

"I know. And I hate it. But..." He leaned toward him, brushing the forehead against his. The heat of the fever had subsided, but Kimi was still warm. Alive. Present. “Ollie,” he whispered. “We’re not going away. I’m not going away. I’m not going to let you go away. Do you understand?”

 

His eyes watered, but he didn't let the tears fall.

 

"Do you promise?"

"I swear. I'm not leaving your life. Wherever you are."

 

He snuggled closer, like a tired animal seeking the warmth of its pack. Kimi allowed him to do so. He pulled him to his chest, letting the Brit's head rest under his chin.

 

"I can stay just a little longer," Ollie whispered, his voice softer than air.

 

Kimi didn't respond immediately. He closed his eyes, lowered the hand to his waist, and left it there, resting calmly. The room was quiet, only the murmur of the air conditioner and their soft breaths sharing the space.

 

"I'd love for you to," he said finally.

"So...?"

"But no."

 

He protested with a low, pitiful moan against his chest. Kimi smiled tenderly and placed a brief kiss on his damp hair.

 

"If I infect you," he murmured, brushing his lips against his ear, "and you get sick, I won't be able to concentrate on my postseason tests. And you know what I would do." He didn't reply, but the silence spoke for him. "I would drop everything," Kimi continued, still softly. "I would stay with you in your room until your fever went away. I would make you horrible soups, cuddle you until you hated me, and I would sleep on the floor if necessary so you wouldn't be alone."

"I wouldn't complain about that," he whispered, his cheeks flushed.

“I know. And that’s the worst part,” he replied, chuckling softly. “Because we both know you’d let me take care of you. But then I wouldn’t be able to make it to the sessions, and I’d have you in my bed with a fever and the face of a wounded puppy, and I’d completely lose my mind.” Ollie sighed, the logical explanation bothering him. “Just tonight,” he repeated, brushing his palm against his back. “One more night in your room. Tomorrow I’ll be better. And I promise I’ll make up for every minute.”

 

He didn’t say anything, but his eyes began to glaze over again.

 

“Don’t cry, orsetto,” he said softly. “I swear I’m not going to leave. Not like you fear. I’m not going to disappear.”

“It’s just…” Ollie tried, his voice shaking, “it’s over, Kimi.”

“No. It’s just different.” Kimi lifted his face with his hand, enough to look into his shining eyes, and with his thumbs, wiped away what little had dared to escape. "You're with me. And I'm with you. In every text, every call, every day off we have. I'm not going to let this fade away, okay?"

 

Ollie nodded. Slowly. As if each word were being etched in invisible ink between his ribs.

 

"Go to sleep," Kimi said then softly. "Text me when you get to your room. If you don't, I'll get up looking for you. And that would be an unnecessary fuss."

 

A low laugh vibrated in Ollie's chest, still damp with sadness, but real.

 

"Okay," he finally said. "But only because you asked me to."

 

Kimi stroked his cheek with his knuckles, as if he couldn't stop touching him for a second longer, then leaned down to brush his lips against his forehead.

 

"Thanks for coming."

"Thanks for letting me."

 

And with that last touch, with one last gentle hug that was longer than necessary, Ollie stood up, crossed the room, and left silently.

 

 

 

Notes:

Posting this just before qualifying, let's see how it goes :)

Chapter 14: Anticipation, second pit stop

Tuesday dawned differently. The sun was still the same, arrogant, high over Abu Dhabi, but it no longer weighed heavily on Ollie's chest as it had on Sunday. That silent anguish he'd felt at every farewell, in every corner of the F2 paddock, had left a strange void, one he didn't know how to fill. The trails of tears from everyone at PREMA were more painful without his favorite Italian by his side. And yet, that morning, in the room Mercedes had reserved for Kimi, that void felt smaller. Perhaps because Kimi was there, sitting on the edge of the bed, still in his pajamas and his hair disheveled, his dark eyes still a little tired but more alive than they had been a few days before.

 

"You don't have a fever," Ollie said, with that air of relief he only used with him, resting the back of the hand on his forehead.

 

Kimi gave him a lazy smile.

 

"I know, Dr. Bearman. I'm not dying anymore."

"Maybe, but you shouldn't push yourself too hard." He sank down beside him, his legs dangling off the bed. "It's a Formula 1 car, Kimi. It's not like going for a few laps in a PREMA car. Be careful and take breaks."

 

The other snorted, but didn't say anything about it. Deep down, Ollie knew Kimi appreciated his concern; it was evident in the slight smile on his face. But he also knew Kimi would push himself to the limit that afternoon, desperate to prove that Mercedes hadn't made a mistake in giving him the opportunity. Desperate to drown out the noise surrounding his name.

 

They spent the morning together, calmly. He silently sketched his opponent's profile, Kimi skimmed over some notes the team had sent him. There was no rush. There wasn't the usual tension of a race weekend, even though one of them was getting in the car anyway. And for the first time in days, they could talk about anything without fever, sadness, or fatigue getting in the way.

Occasionally, they threw around random comments, jokes without much meaning, as if time wasn't in a hurry. She allowed herself to lean against his shoulder at some point, and Kimi put an arm around her back naturally, as if the gesture had been waiting to happen. Just like before.

They laughed. They laughed with that laughter shared between two people who no longer need filters. Ollie turned a little to look at him better, and found him looking at him with that soft expression that seemed more common lately. There was no doubt in his eyes. There was no distance.

He didn't say anything. He didn't ask what had changed. He didn't mention the strange weeks, the silences, or the times he'd felt Kimi drift away without knowing why. Because now, at last, he was there. Because now he was opening up again, and Ollie just wanted to receive that unconditional affection.

With Kimi, sometimes everything seemed easier when there wasn't too much talking.

 

At noon, Kimi got dressed to head out to the track, and Ollie walked him to the door, his hands in his pants pockets, his shoulders slightly slumped.

 

"Don't take too long," he murmured, and Kimi, who had learned to read between the lines of what wasn't said out loud, held his gaze for a second longer than necessary.

"I'll be back as soon as I'm done." He leaned over, almost without thinking, to brush a quick kiss across his forehead. "And I'll tell you how it went."

 

He couldn't be in the Mercedes garage, not without provoking questions and rumors. So he stayed in his room, with the TV on, watching the live times. He found himself smiling goofily when he saw Kimi's name appear on the leaderboard, when he saw him stay fifth at the finish. His chest swelled with silent pride, the kind that made him bite the inside of his cheek and think that, if only he could, he would have been down there to hug him the moment he got out of the car.

 

Kimi returned later that night, his hair damp and his expression tired. And before he could say anything, Ollie was crossing the room, wrapping his arms around his neck in a hug that took his breath away.

 

"Fifth!" he said, smiling broadly. "I'm so proud of you, Kimi."

 

The other rested his forehead on his shoulder, seeming to let the day's tiredness melt away a little in his affection.

 

"It's nothing," he murmured, but Ollie shook his head, pulling away just enough to look him in the eye.

"That's all. This is your first time in a real F1 car for a long session like this, and you've done an incredible job."

 

Later, when they were both sitting on the bed, Ollie gently pushed his shoulder.

 

"Now you stay still," he ordered in that soft but firm voice he used to care for him. "No work now, no wandering around. Rest."

"I don't want to leave you," Kimi answered with naked honesty. "Not yet."

 

Ollie looked at him silently, with that expression that mixed love and a little fear, and then settled against his side, willing to be silent until they had to have a quick dinner before turning in and going to sleep. He wanted to make sure Kimi could rest after those hours in the car; he knew from experience what it could do to the body.

 

Dinner was light, almost a formality: a couple of simple dishes ordered from room service, more out of obligation than appetite. After collecting the tray and leaving it by the door, they both got ready for bed. Ollie slipped into the T-shirt Kimi had left for him. Kimi, for his part, was left in only a pair of shorts, skin exposed, shoulders relaxed.

They slipped under the sheets naturally, no longer any boundaries between their spaces. Ollie lay on his side, seeking Kimi's warmth, and the Italian, affectionate as he had been lately, welcomed him with open arms, pressing him against his body. He caressed his arm, his waist, as if trying to memorize every detail with his fingertips.

After a few minutes, Kimi pulled him closer, his strong hand sliding under the fabric, finding the warm skin of his back. He ran his hands over him with soft, almost lazy caresses, leaving light kisses in his hair.

 

"Kimi..." he protested weakly, snuggling a little against his chest. "I should be the one pampering you today. You're the one who made all the effort."

"Shhh," the Italian laughed, his voice husky and low, squeezing him tighter. "I like it this way. I like having you here, orsetto. Let me do it."

 

Ollie sighed, surrendering without much resistance, and let him take care of him. The silence became thick, but not awkward. It was a silence filled with measured breaths and small touches, with shared warmth and trust.

 

"I want things to stay the way they are," Kimi murmured suddenly, close to his ear. "I don't want them to change, even if we're no longer on the same team. I'm going to do my best to keep my promise. I don't want us to drift apart."

 

The words fell upon him like a balm. He closed his eyes, his chest tight with emotion difficult to contain, and nodded slightly, hiding his face in the hollow between Kimi's neck and shoulder. There, where the world seemed so far away and time didn't exist.

Kimi continued to caress him, as if he knew that what they needed that night wasn't a quick sleep, but to be held in the certainty that, even though everything around them was changing, they still had each other.

 

---

 

Wednesday dawned more slowly, almost lazily. The sun filtered through the thick curtains of Kimi's room, tinting everything a warm gold. Ollie opened his eyes first, still feeling Kimi's heavy arm resting on his waist. He didn't move immediately; he'd learned to savor those quiet moments when neither clocks nor goodbyes existed. Just them, Kimi's calm breathing against his neck, and the shared warmth under the sheets.

They woke up late, unhurriedly, with that strange sense of respite that comes at the end of something big. They had breakfast in bed, amid awkward laughter because Ollie insisted on stealing Kimi's toast, and Kimi defended himself as best he could, with a gentle shove in the ribs or catching his wrist in midair.

 

"You're unbearable in the mornings, orsetto," Kimi snorted, though with a smile that contradicted his words.

"I'm just making sure you eat just enough and no more," he replied, his mouth full. "I have to watch over your Mercedes driver diet."

"Of course... because you're the official nutritionist," the Italian laughed, reaching out to ruffle Ollie's hair. "You follow a similar diet, in case you've forgotten."

 

The rest of the day passed calmly: they strolled through the hotel corridors, laughed at silly things, and lay on the bed watching old racing videos on Ollie's phone. There was something sweet about the way Kimi didn't seem to want to leave him even an inch, resting the head on his shoulder, brushing the thigh with his, and trapping his hand in almost distracted gestures.

 

Afternoon arrived, and with it the inevitable task: packing. At first, it was a game. Ollie opened his suitcase with a bang, stuffing unfolded clothes inside while Kimi watched in mock horror.

 

"Is that your method?" the younger one asked, crossing his arms.

"It works," Ollie replied, shrugging. He wasn't going to admit it was because he wanted to get it over with quickly so he wouldn't have to remember they were leaving the next day.

"It works for a two-day trip, not for crossing half a continent." Kimi bent down and began taking out the clothes again, folding them neatly.

 

The chaos escalated when Ollie, using the excuse of confusion, began "confiscating" Kimi's clothes.

 

"This sweatshirt is mine."

"No, Ollie. That one's mine."

"It looks better on me." He cheekily slipped it on, grinning from ear to ear.

 

Kimi watched him for a few seconds, serious, as if he were about to have a serious argument. But then he sighed and let the smile slip away.

 

"Fine. Take it. But because I like how it looks on you."

 

Ollie's heart leaped, though he only dared to roll his eyes and continue packing things away. It was a joke. One of many. It had to be.

 

When they finished, the atmosphere changed. Ollie sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the closed suitcase as if it weighed twice as much. The silence stretched longer than before. His throat felt tight, because that suitcase meant more than just a flight: it meant separation, different routines, parallel lives that would no longer intersect daily. He had been wrong to try to pack it quickly.

Kimi, who seemed to read him better than anyone, came over and sat next to him. He brushed the shoulder against his.

 

"You're quieter."

"Just..." Ollie pressed his lips together, searching for words. "I guess this makes it more real."

 

Kimi was silent for a moment, as if gauging the answer. Then he spoke with that calmness of his that always seemed to ground him.

 

"I don't want you to think the suitcase means the end. It's just... a change."

"I know. But it feels like the closure of something very big."

 

The Italian raised a hand and smoothed back a strand of hair that had fallen over his eyes.

 

"It has been big. Huge. And it still is. But it doesn't end here. I won't let it end here. I promised, didn't I?"

 

Ollie swallowed, the words echoing in his chest louder than they should have. He nodded, unable to respond immediately, hiding the suffocating emotion behind a small smile.

 

"You promise a lot, Kimi."

"And I deliver more," he replied, with a twinkle in his eye that completely disarmed Ollie.

 

They stood like that for a while, shoulder to shoulder, the murmur of the air conditioning filling the space. Ollie knew this conversation was a prelude to something more, something he'd been hiding for too long. And as Kimi looked at him in that soft, almost unwavering way, he couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, the moment was closer than he thought.

 

 

Notes:

Isack being out in Q3 today hurt, but Ollie, Kimi and Gabi being in those positions is a bit of a consolation :)

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Your Intent