Unreachable—when you’re next to me

by Nsfwnm1

Summary:

Alpha Jeno is puzzled by his new roommate whose guarded nature raise countless questions. Despite Jeno’s efforts to connect, he’s met with emotional walls and an unsettling mystery—his inability to smell Jaemin.

As curiosity deepens into obsession, Jeno finds himself drawn to uncover not just who his roommate is, but what he might be.

-

“I didn’t fall for you. I drowned”

Chapter 1

It is this time of the year again, when the daylight gets shorter and the night breeze gets colder. Another fall season approached and another school year began, only this time Jeno is done with school and is starting college. Dreadful as it is, Jeno could not deny the joy of finally leaving his—overly—affectionate parents’ house, and joining his friends and other people his age in a new environment.

“My puppy, how am I going to leave you here? without mommy’s food and hugs and kisses!!” His mother, living up to her overbearing and clingy brand, smothered him with more hugs and kisses. Af if the two-hour ride here, with her clinging to him like he was her lifeline,  was not enough.

“Mom please, you’re causing a scene!” He groaned. Not having the heart to completely push her off and only slightly wiggling away from her hold. For an Omega, she sure had a firm grip. “Dad!!” He called his father to the rescue when he failed to get her off him.

But that was probably a mistake, since one look at them, and his dad’s eyes sparkled with tears before he too rushed to engulf them both in a group hug. “We will miss you too, son!” What was he expecting from his mother’s soulmate?

Jeno sighed, standing completely still as his parents embarrassed him on his first day in college, right there in front of the dormitory, weeping as if they were sending him off to war. He could only smile apologetically at those who passed by them, some threw strange looks and others—mostly other parents—sympathized with them.

“Are you guys done now?” He said after a few minutes.

“Nono, promise to call me every night before bed?” His mother continued listing a few other things for her precious babyboy to follow so she can endure living apart from him, while his father helped him get his suitcase from the trunk of the car.

“Mom, I’ll call you every night. I’ll take pictures of all my meals. I’ll introduce you to every friend I make, I’ll do it all so please stop worrying now!” He sighed, deep down he understands where her fear comes from.

It was a few years back, Jeno was only thirteen back then, enjoying his parents company on a Friday night and watching a movie, when his older brother bursted through the door. Shaking and dripping wet from the rain, his face was covered with scars and bruises making him almost unrecognizable, and his clothes were torn and disheveled, they later found out that he was bullied by some kids at college, but that night, especially that view of his brother, had left the whole family traumatized to a certain extent. His mother, though, had it the worst for obvious reasons.

Although, unlike his older brother—who is a Beta—Jeno was an Alpha. Ridiculous as it is, the hierarchy exists till this day, maybe it does not get referred to as much, maybe it is performed out of nature, but it exists as clear as the daylight on the brightest summer day. It is like one of those things that everyone does in secret but lies about doing it, and the more they lie they believe their own fibs.

Even Jeno, who denies thinking he is more powerful than anyone else just because he is an Alpha, is now using that same logic to convince his mother that he will be fine no matter where. And sadly, it seems to comfort his mother too.

“Okay, but just because you’re an Alpha you shouldn’t be rude to others, okay? Always stay kind, my dear,” she reminds him and he nods. Not in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine abusing the power of his sub-gender that way.

Alphas are not as common as they are believed to be. And the reason behind it is that in the older generations only an Alpha could lead the pack, and having multiple Alphas could start a fierce competition between them to have that role. So in a pack of fifty members there would be around six or seven alphas. While the rest were mostly Betas.

But they were not the rarest sub-gender of all, as the most rare ones in a pack were Omegas. Those beautiful fragile individuals. Only one or two—maybe three if the pack was lucky—were born. Despite their infrequency, their existence was essential to every pack. As they are the nurturing force, the ones who could embrace all and maintain peace within the pack. Since despite an Alpha’s power and commanding nature, one thing that could dominate them and influence their actions was the Omegan scent.

Jeno could agree with that statement, he had only encountered two Omegas in his life, one is his mother, and the other one was his biology teacher from back in highschool. And sure enough, both are sweet and nurturing beings that never stop giving. Whether it is knowledge or love and tenderness, Jeno was always spoiled by that certain sub-gender.

Now that he has presented as an Alpha—his presentation was very recent during his summer break—he wondered if he would be able to meet people from other sub-genders too. Betas were common so he did not find himself that curious about them, maybe encountering another Alpha like himself will be a fun experience—or a tragic one if they don’t get along—. He had never met a Delta before, which is very normal to live your whole life never seeing one, people almost believe that certain sub-gender was a mere myth due to its extreme rarity.

Or maybe, just maybe, Jeno will be lucky enough to meet yet another Omega. His wolf almost shivers with excitement at the mere thought. ‘It’s nothing out of the ordinary though’ He convinces himself that he is not just a wild Alpha eager to prey on a weaker being. An Omega is a pleasant presence in every environment, even if they were belittled or looked down upon by society in general, no one can deny the beauty or the scent of an Omega. 

After a very—VERY—long and melodramatic farewell, his mother finally detached herself from him. Her tears were endless as she got into the passenger seat and rolled down the window to repeat a few goodbyes and reminders to not get in trouble and stay safe. Jeno was grateful to his dad when he started driving off before she could repeat herself for the fourth time.

Once the car was out of sight, Jeno finally let out a relieved sigh, and another nervous one when he turned around to face the dormitory’s entrance. Here starts a new chapter of his life. With every step he took, he prayed that he will make the right choices in whatever is coming in the future. Because after all, life is but a series of choices, and he knew that the choices he makes here, in college, will affect his future and the rest of his life whether it was on a personal level or academic and career level. So he has to make wise choices as a matured adult now.

He stood in front of one of the many wooden doors, silver numbers hanging right on top of the peephole, the “ 104 ” in bold shone brightly. He reached for the key he received during his first visit two weeks ago. Searching his pockets, and momentarily panicking when he could not find it on either side, before remembering hurriedly stuffing it in the front pocket of his backpack before leaving the house. The results of being messy and unprepared despite his mother’s nagging for the last few weeks.

He placed his bag over his suitcase and unzipped the front pocket, digging between the clutter of random objects, he finally found the key after a good minute. Pulling it out and smiling in victory, he zipped his bag up again before reaching for the keyhole to unlock the door. Just as he inserted his key, the doorknob turned from the inside of the apartment and the door was pulled open rather aggressively, Jeno almost gasped in surprise. Whoever opened the door almost ran into him.

“Jesus Christ!! Sorry, Dude. Didn’t see you there!” He apologized hurriedly “Babe,  he’s here!!” He yelled into the apartment before turning to Jeno once again, bowing slightly, and then running past him heading to the elevator.

The encounter ended as abruptly as it started. Jeno with his amazing Alpha senses knew instantly that the jittery stranger who just fled the scene was another Alpha like himself. Was he one of his roommates? He wondered.

“Sorry about him, come in! You must be Lee Jeno?” Another voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he looked ahead of him once again to see who was welcoming him with such a honeyed voice.

The boy who stood there had the sweetest smile adorning his face. Dressed in an oversized purple shirt and grey shorts that barely got to his mid-thighs, his sun-kissed skin shimmering with sweat as if he had been doing chores, and he was, judging by the pink rubber glove he had on one hand.

“Yes, Hi, I’m Jeno. Nice to meet you!” Jeno said as he pushed his suitcase into his new living space.

“Hi, I’m Haechan— your housemate, nice to meet you too!” He, whose name is Haechan, greeted him with equal sweetness to his tender voice. “That idiot is Mark, he also lives here.” He pointed in the direction of the elevator, mentioning the ghost of the guy that left a minute ago.

“I see.” Jeno took mental notes. He was good at many things, but remembering names was not one of them. “Is it just us three? I was told that it’ll be four people in each apartment.” He asked as he walked further into the living room, leaving his suitcase and belongings by the entrance while he explored the place curiously.

“There’s a fourth one but he’s still not here.” Haechan said, going back to doing the dishes in the open kitchen that was connected to a very cozy living room.

As he passed by Jeno, the Alpha took a quick whiff of his scent like it was his second nature. His brows coming together in confusion when he managed to smell the same scent from that Alpha from earlier—his name was Mark, he reminds himself—, the earthy smell of fresh rain and a faint hint of sunflowers, and then he recalled the few-seconds-long encounter he had with Mark and how he referred to Haechan as “Babe” and everything made sense all of a sudden.

“You’re really an Alpha,” he heard the comment as if it came from the void, so deep in analyzing his roommates’ relationship in his head, that he almost missed Haechan’s playful remark.

“Huh?” Jeno let out a confused sound before he could stop himself. And in response Haechan blissfully chuckled and shook his head.

“Tone it down, Alpha, you’re giving me a headache.” Haechan said with his back to Jeno and his attention turned to the dishes once again.

Jeno was normally quick to take a hint, his intelligence above the average and his sharpness unmatched. But right at this moment, in front of his new roommate, he stood like a witless lost wolf. He could not for the sake of him understand what Haechan was referring to.

“I’m an Omega,” Haechan started explaining when he sensed Jeno’s increasing confusion. Jeno’s eyes widened at that sudden confession. All his thoughts from earlier came crashing back. Yes, he was lucky enough to meet another Omega but-

“And since I’m mated, your curious pheromones are giving me a headache!” Haechan explained it, like he is doing so to a five year old. Trying his best to not sound rude or offensive on their first meeting.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!! I didn’t realize-“ Jeno immediately apologized, still not so used to controlling his pheromones as he pleases, but he was told that he will be able to do so with time.

“It’s alright!” Haechan assured him with another smile. “Newly presented?” He asked, keeping his hands busy with arranging the dishes while starting a conversation with Jeno who was still looking around the apartment and checking behind every door. Haechan gestured to one of the rooms and briefly said “Mark’s and mine” before resuming to their main topic of the conversation.

‘So I guess this one is my room then’ Jeno thought to himself while opening the second door that connected to the living room before answering Haechan’s question “Yeah, I presented two months ago, it is still hard for me to control my pheromones.” he said, finishing his sentence by sheepishly rubbing his nape and looking apologetically at the Omega.

“It’s okay, My Alpha is newly presented too, you’re doing much better than he is so don’t worry about it!” Haechan said, and strangely enough Jeno found that actually helped him relax a little bit. So he was not the most lacking Alpha around. His competitiveness over such trivial things was pure Alpha instincts.

“You can go unpack now, I’ll finish up here and then make dinner for the three of us, we can talk then” Haechan dismissed him once the silence lasted long enough for it to be awkward. And so against his nature Jeno obeyed the command, smiling at him before slipping into his bedroom that he will be sharing with their fourth and still unknown housemate.

 

 

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Jeno groaned at the sound of his alarm going off, rolling to his side and reaching for his phone on the nightstand, he turned the obnoxious ringing off before even opening his eyes. A sigh left him once it was silent again and he laid on his back. Recalling the previous night like a short movie.

He unpacked his stuff in his room, got called to have dinner around 8 PM where Mark had joined them once again, and as it turned out Mark was not as bad as their first encounter painted him to be, he just so happened to be late to a basketball game —yes, Mark plays basketball— and he apologized for his behavior enough times for Jeno to feel guilty about being upset. Then they chatted for two whole hours, just getting acquainted as they will be sharing a living space and hitting it off was important for a healthy living dynamic.

Although, being with the two had made Jeno feel insignificantly lonely. They were not trying to flaunt their relationship or anything, but they were so naturally all over each other, emitting disgustingly sweet pheromones and making the air suffocatingly warm and fuzzy around them, Jeno found himself wondering numerous times if he should leave the room. And a part of him wished that his roommate would get there already, just so he would have someone to share his misery with.

From his position still laying in his surprisingly comfy single bed, he glanced to the other side of the room, expecting to see an empty bed still waiting for its owner. But to his surprise Jeno saw a lump under the covers indicating the presence of someone other than him in the room. He instantly sat up. His habit of sniffing when he is curious reminds him so much of his family’s dog, but he tries to not dwell on it too much. He frowned when his own leather and amber scent was the only scent he could catch in the room. As if the other person, whoever it was, had no scent to him.

‘Is he not presented yet?’ He quietly wonders, but shakes it off right after. Almost no one goes to college before presenting, it was the most natural and common time for maturation. ‘Maybe he is using a strong kind of scent blocker?’ He thinks to himself and cannot hold back the slight disappointment of not being able to figure out his roommate’s sub-gender instantly.

From where he is sitting, he cannot see the other person’s face as it is completely covered with the blanket. Beside soft strands of blond wavy hair sprawled messily over the pillow, Jeno could not see anything else. He sighed, his roommate as if teasing him, was making Jeno more and more curious about him.

He got out of bed after a few minutes since his alarm went off. It was still too early for the orientation, but just because he is in a new environment Jeno was not going to slack off on his workouts. He was usually an early bird, rising before the sun to start his morning routine.

He slipped out of the bedroom quietly after grabbing his training gear and headed to the restroom, only coming back minutes later, fully dressed, to grab his phone and key. Throwing one last curious glance toward his roommate who has yet to move an inch, before heading out to hit his morning run.

Jeno enjoyed the quiet early mornings to an extent that he wishes no one else finds out about it. When the day is still not started for most, when the sun battles darkness in the horizon, Jeno enjoys seeing how the world shifts slowly from tranquility to an uproar. He observes it all in his morning runs, how the windows he passes starts to slowly light up and cut through the darkness. The sound of alarms bring the sleeping citizens to a new day, the scent of coffee brewing fills the air, and the quiet slowly but surely gets consumed by the morning rush. it is another day.

Jeno almost smiles once his one hour run comes to an end. Happy to see the neighborhood around campus behaving very similarly to his town. Today he decided to come further out just to explore the surrounding area, but he made a mental note to stay on campus grounds for his future morning runs as his walk back was almost as long as his workout lasted.

When he neared the magnificent entrance of their campus, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out to answer whoever was awake at this time and calling him, his eyes landing on the time before the contact name and he immediately knew who it was before even checking. He answered.

“Are you coming?” Yuta, his workout buddy, and friend, asked as soon as the line connected.

“Good morning to you too!” Jeno replied maliciously, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as his friend’s direct behavior remains unchanging since the day he met him.

“You’re breathing heavily, done with your run?” Yuta pointed out, completely disregarding whatever Jeno said, the Alpha merely hummed, still trying to catch his breath, feeling his throat dry and scratchy, begging for hydration. “Get your ass here then, we’re waiting for you at the gym in building 6” and he hung up.

Jeno blinked at his phone screen, dumbfounded, even though he could not expect less from Yuta, the oh so cold Beta, it still takes him by surprise every time. Ignoring it, he shoved his phone back in his pocket. Stopping by a vending machine to grab a bottle of water before making his way to the gym where his friends —Yuta and probably Johnny— were waiting for him.

One thing Jeno was grateful for was the dormitories being on the campus grounds. He did not need to ever worry about being late to classes. Plus, his friends from school who attended the same university were all a walking distance away.

Jeno would describe himself as an introverted extrovert, he always preferred being in his own space, alone, but somehow he never fails to make new friends wherever he goes, one would think he was a social butterfly.

“You have a friendly, trustable aura.” Ten had once told him that was the reason why new people keep trying to get closer to him. But despite having so many friends and being quite popular with people around his age —even kids from other schools knew who he was thanks to his active Instagram account that Doyoung had forced him to create—, Jeno could count his actual close friends on one hand. Yuta, Johnny, Ten, Doyoung and his boyfriend Jaehyun, were his close circle. Having known them for almost all his life, or met them in sixth grade, he simply does not remember not knowing these five.

Just as expected, Yuta and Johnny were waiting for him at the gym, with Johnny half asleep looking like he was dragged here straight out of bed.

“Hurry up, lazy ass, we’re gonna be late for orientation!!” Yuta said, stretching and doing some warm ups. It was a routine for them to workout together, they started it to encourage each other to stay fit, but ended up getting used to it more than they would like to admit.

“Yah! Are you here to sleep?” The beta snapped at Johnny who was nearly dozing off on the rowing machine.

His friend, who is an Alpha like himself, grumbled something of, “Why can’t we workout in the evening like normal people?” But nonetheless resumed his workout, placing his foot on the foot pedals and pulling the handle back with all his might, groaning so loud as if fighting with his demons. His precious sleep demons.

Just like that their workout session flew by, they pushed each other to their limits until they were a satisfied sweaty mess. After finishing up and planning their next meeting—during lunch break in the food court—Jeno headed back to his apartment a few buildings away from the gym.

He unlocked the door and walked in, being met with complete silence, he glanced at his watch to notice that it was already 9 AM “I guess they already left” he assumed, and being unable to smell Mark’s scent—on both him and his mate— confirmed his assumption.

He walked straight to the kitchen, deciding to get himself a protein drink since he did not have the luxury of time to make breakfast. He took a sip from his chocolate flavored protein shake as he walked up to his bedroom, carelessly pushing the door open while humming a random tune, completely forgetting about the existence of a second person who shares that room with him.

Jeno froze and so did time. His hand hangs mid air with the drink. Standing by the bed, bathed in soft morning light, like something out of a dream Jeno once had. There was his once unknown roommate. The Alpha stopped. Not only figuratively—but his lungs forgot what air was. 

His roommate, whatever his name is, looked like a drawing wandering off a piece he would see in a museum. So breathtaking with not a single flaw on him—Jeno desperately tried to find at least one flaw—. His eyes round and shimmering, like open windows, clear and curious, and his long curled lashes were their curtains. Jeno felt like he was getting sucked into them until he was falling into a bottomless abyss. His heartbeat has become a solo drum. Everything he was going to say once he met his new roommate vanished, and was replaced by a single spiraling thought; ‘You’re going to live with me? Here? In this room? Every day?’

“Hello, you must be my roommate?” The most beautiful human being —Jeno believes he’ll call him that even after he has given his actual name— asked, hurriedly tugging down his blouse since Jeno walked in on him getting dressed.

If Jeno noticed a hint of a bruise on the latter’s smooth lean stomach, he did not say anything about it. Not like he had regained his ability to speak once again anyway. Somehow, he managed a small hello but that was about it. The stranger bowed from his spot, before introducing himself, every movement of his hesitant and shy, triggering the protective wolf in Jeno. “I’m Na Jaemin”

“Lee Jeno” Jeno bowed back, his voice too loud to his intensified instincts but too low for others. He did not understand why his body was reacting that way to a complete stranger, granted the most beautiful stranger he had ever laid eyes on, but still. ‘Calm down you stupid Alpha.’ He internally scolds himself.

“I’m going now, you can use the room.” Jaemin said after an awkward staring match that lasted only a few seconds, much to Jeno’s dismay.

The Alpha cussed at himself for behaving so awkwardly and making his roommate feel unwelcomed in his own space. “No! I mean- no, it is fine you can take your time, I was gonna hit the shower anyway!” He finally remembered how words work.

“No, it’s okay, I have to leave anyway I’m late!” Jaemin retorted in the same bashful manner as he grabbed his bag, rushed past Jeno, and just like that left his sight.

Jeno, who was still standing by the bedroom door, will not deny his attempt to steal a whiff of Jaemin’s scent as he passed by him. Frowning and his wolf almost howling in agony when he could not smell anything but his own musty leather and amber scent, yet again. He looked back at the apartment door where Jaemin just exited, staring with a certain level of yearning to have more, see more, smell more of the beautiful being that is Na Jaemin.

He sighed, his shoulders slumped, overcome by the reality that he stood alone in the empty apartment. But before he could wallow in sorrow, his eyes landed on the wall clock and his brain regained its focus in alert, and so he hurried to take a shower and freshen up before it was time for the orientation. Comforted by knowing that there is bound to be more of Jaemin in the future since they shared a space—this might not just be a new chapter. This might be a whole new story with a new main character and his name was: Na Jaemin.

 

 

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Notes:

First chapter is finally here!

It's my first time writing a longer fiction that is not smut focused so I hope you guys will enjoy this journey 🫶🏼

Please let me know your thoughts down below, all your comments are much appreciated 🤍🤍

Chapter 2

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Surprisingly, after their first meeting, Jeno did not run into Jaemin as much as he had secretly hoped. Despite them sharing a bedroom, Jaemin was almost invisible in the way he exists.

The only time Jeno catches a glimpse of him is when he wakes up early at the break of dawn and glances toward the other side of the room where Jaemin occupies his bed, snuggled cozily under the covers like it is his cocoon. Or when he saw him in the food court once, he praised his own eyes for being able to spot him in the sea of people, sitting alone in one of the corners with his headphones on, one hand holding onto a book and the other bringing his sandwich to his mouth in a mechanical way. Jeno stared for a second too long until he was dragged by his ears by a very unamused and hungry Doyoung.

The time after that he ran into Jaemin at the library one afternoon. He struggled to contain his excitement once his eyes landed on the wavy blond hair that he recognized by heart. That day was especially tough for him since he did not get his daily dose of admiring a sleeping Jaemin in the morning, and that is because Jaemin did not return to the dorm last night. Jeno had stayed in bed for a good half an hour just coming up with the worst scenarios in his head, he even skipped his workout that morning just to make it to college sooner in hope of seeing Jaemin there.

Just like that, with stolen glances and occasional encounters, weeks passed by, and his roommate remained a stranger despite being the closest to him out of everyone else on campus.

And then it was another Friday, Jeno’s last class of the week ended at five in the evening. As he walked back to his dorm he checked his phone, brainstorming what he should do for the weekend. Mark and Haechan were going to spend a night outside as they had informed him through texts— He didn’t even want to know why they needed a night alone in a hotel room—. Doyoung and Jaehyun were probably going on a date as well. Yuta, who has yet to reply to any of his texts, had probably started his weekend slumber and bed-rotting activities, he knew better than to interrupt that. Meanwhile Johnny and Ten have decided to visit Johnny’s mom for the weekend. Which leaves Jeno with no other option than to head back to the apartment and dreadfully spend the weekend alone.

Jeno unlocked the door to the apartment and the scent of warm milk washed over him like a violent gust of wind as soon as he stepped in. He frowned at the unfamiliar scent, but he did not hate it, in fact he found himself rather eagerly following it to the source. As he walked further in, his nose caught onto another scent, the scent of ripe peaches, more faint than the first one but still equally as present. His first thought was to check the kitchen, thinking that maybe someone had left some milk on the stove, or brought home some peaches. But once he stood by the kitchen, the mixture of pleasant smells disappeared so abruptly. As if it did not exist to begin with. Jeno shook his head, momentarily wondering if he was hallucinating or having an odd daydream.

His thoughts were quickly replaced by his curiosity when he heard the sound of a door being unlocked. His roommate walked out of the bathroom, drying his wet hair with a baby blue towel, looking as mesmerizing as ever after a fresh shower. And just like that Jeno forgot whatever he was thinking about prior, almost forgetting his own name whenever his eyes meet Jaemin’s round and alluring ones.

But his glee to see Jaemin did not last long as his eyes dropped to his neck, bruised in an angry shade of red, a sign of someone using force with their hands on Jaemin’s neck. Jeno’s eyes widened in shock, feeling his blood boiling at the mere thought of someone hurting the latter in any way. Now that he saw that, it reminded him that it was not the first time he had seen Jaemin with such a painful-looking mark on his beautiful fair skin.

‘Is he hurt? Or… is this from someone he lets get close?’ The more he thought about the possibilities, the more his pheromones flared with a mix of rage and deep envy, it alarmed his roommate who followed his gaze before quickly covering his neck with the towel and attempting to walk past the Alpha to the bedroom.

Jeno does not know where the courage came from but he grabbed onto Jaemin’s wrist just as he passed by him, his brain going into a frenzy trying to come up with a good excuse to stop him from leaving this very room. When he looked to the side, Jaemin was already staring back at him with confusion in his eyes before his gaze shifted down to Jeno’s hand that held him tightly, and a frown appeared on his angelic features. Jeno followed his gaze and quickly let go of his wrist as if he was burned by the hold.

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?” He asked, voice apologetic and gentle, as if Jaemin was the most delicate, like a flower that sways and falls with a mere breeze.

Jaemin held his own wrist, bringing it to his chest as he timidly shook his head from side to side while mouthing a soft “No”. The Alpha opened his mouth to say something, hoping that his lips would improvise, hoping that the moment would carry itself and somehow, by some divine intervention, he would be able to spend some time with Jaemin today. But as his mouth hung open, the silence was cut by the sound of Jaemin’s phone buzzing. The latter looked at him almost apologetically before rushing past him and completely leaving the apartment to answer his call.

Jeno sighed once he was alone. ‘Divine intervention, my ass’ He thought. Walking to his room, he took his shirt off, suddenly feeling a wave of irritation for some (un)known reason, deciding to blow off steam and pass time by having a quick workout session in his room before showering since he had nothing better to do.

The door creaked open half an hour later. Jeno was still on the floor, mid-pushup, when Jaemin entered. The Alpha immediately stood up, sheepishly rubbing his neck as his roommate stayed frozen by the door, staring at him. Jeno could swear he saw a hint of redness slowly creeping to his round pinchable cheeks.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d be back so soon!” He said, only half sarcastically. To his yearning Alpha it felt like hours had passed since he last saw Jaemin. But the rational part of him had thought that Jaemin would be spending another night out somewhere, doing god knows what, leaving the apartment completely empty for Jeno to walk around naked—or half naked like his current state—if he wanted to.

Jaemin didn’t say anything to that, and instead Jeno caught him sniffing the air slightly before he awkwardly—shyly—fidgeted and clutched the doorknob like it was his lifeline.That was all it took for Jeno to decide that his workout had come to an end. Hurriedly rushing to open the windows and air out the room. “Sorry about that too!” He apologized for his potent scent that filled the air due to his sweaty state, even to himself the room reeked of musty leather and amber.

He then reached for one of his drawers to pull out an air freshener and started spraying it around the room. Hoping that the scent of sweet vanilla would collide with his intense scent and lessen its hefty impact. Jeno frowned to himself when he saw Jaemin’s features momentarily drop into a slight pout, before he went back to his stale state, and finally stepped further into the room, all the while avoiding looking directly at Jeno.

He walked straight to his bed where he laid his bag earlier that afternoon and dug into it for a good few minutes, Jeno could not stop himself from wondering about what he was looking for, a part of him questioning if Jaemin was even looking for something or was he just feeling as awkward and trying to keep himself busy and distracted from the deadly silence.

So in hope of sparing both of them from the suffocating tension that grew by the second, Jeno cut through the quietness with a strangled “are you free today?” Before he quickly cleared his throat. Jaemin finally stopped rummaging through his bag and turned to look at him, clearly intrigued by his question even though he held the same deadpan expression.

“I mean- are you staying home? Should we order dinner?” Jeno asked again, watching closely how Jaemin’s gaze wandered off a little as if he was thinking about it, before it landed back on him again. From the stillness of his expressions, Jeno was ready for his request to be brutally turned down. In his head he was already picking the breakup songs he will listen to tonight while wallowing in self pity under the covers.

“I will make dinner instead”

Jeno looked around the room, then back at Jaemin, and then looked around once again, before he landed back on Jaemin. He questioned if he heard it correctly or if there was someone else in the apartment offering to make them dinner. “Huh?” was all he could afford to say as he was internally crashing out—despite how calm he looked on the outside.

Jaemin neatly put his bag to the side before walking toward the door. “What should I make? Pasta?” He asked as he exited the room. Leaving the Alpha sitting on his bed, dumbfounded and still trying to collect his thoughts.

”Huh????”

First, Jaemin was cooking for him. Making dinner. Food. With his own two hands. Second, Jeno was sure this was around the fourth or fifth time that he heard Jaemin speaking full sentences instead of mumbling short responses or using head and hand gestures. Third and most importantly, Jeno was not entirely sure that he wouldn’t combust and vanish into thin air the minute he walks out and sees Jaemin in the kitchen, oh-so-domestically preparing their meal.

“Jeno?” Jaemin’s soft call snapped him out of his thoughts and his Alpha scattered on his feet to get to the kitchen instantly. Once again, he was oddly reminded of his family’s dog when he gets called over for food or treats. Once he stood in the middle of the living room facing the kitchen, Jaemin held up the cartoon of pasta and shook it slightly “Pasta?” He simply asked, his head tilted to the side slightly, as if it was possible for him to get any more endearing—It is possible, Jeno noted—.

“Sounds good!” Jeno quickly replied before he got lost in another chain of thoughts that usually leads to nowhere but the starting point, which is, he is undeniably attracted to his roommate, and he cannot, no matter how much he racks his brain, figure out the reason behind this strong attraction. Especially since Jaemin barely pays him a mind or acknowledges his existence.

As Jaemin started preparing for dinner, Jeno loomed around him like his shadow. Offering to help at least four times before Jaemin gave in and handed him the simple task—simple by Jaemin’s standards—of boiling the pasta while he prepared the other ingredients.

Jeno had always thought of himself as a decent cook—if he was cooking for himself—. But the million questions he asked just to boil some pasta got him reconsidering his thoughts. At some point Jaemin gave up on answering him and just did it all himself. He did not seem shocked or irritated by Jeno’s lack of culinary skills, as if it was just what he expected from an Alpha. Jeno took offense in that, so he set his mind on doing the dishes instead. Urged to be somewhat helpful in the kitchen, while Jaemin handles everything that has to do with food and cooking. And with such great team work, and with no stupid Alpha questions such as “should I boil it with water or milk?”, dinner was ready in less than an hour.

They sat down to eat in silence—Jeno tried to start a few conversations but quickly realized that Jaemin was reserved and mostly kept to himself about his personal life—but that did not stop him from stealing glances at his roommate. His roommate that every look at his heavenly face steals the air right out of Jeno’s lungs. He studied closely the way Jaemin eats, the way he takes small timid bites, the way he almost purrs at a good saucy bite, the way he munches his food slowly as if savoring it. Jeno had emptied his plate before the latter was done with even half of his.

Jaemin only glanced away from his food when he did not hear the sound of utensils being used from across of the table anymore, noticing that the plate in front of Jeno was empty, he looked up at him, and the Alpha gave him a sheepish chuckle, embarrassed, before he said “Your cooking is so good I inhaled it!”.

Jeno almost patted himself when he saw a hint of a smile appear on Jaemin’s reddened face. The Alpha wondered if it is possible for his heartbeats to be heard from across the table. Jaemin was beautiful in every state, when he deadpans, when he pouts, when he is sleeping, when he is awake, and even now when he is trying so hard to stop himself from smiling, he is just unrealistically stunning. And Jeno is nothing but a certified simp for his pretty roommate.

“Want some more?” Jaemin, yet again, snapped him out of another inner battle. Slightly pushing his plate toward Jeno, offering it to him. But the Alpha was quick to decline, thinking to himself ‘even his heart is beautiful’ before telling him to enjoy his food and getting off the table to wash his plate and let Jaemin eat in peace without his leering eyes that preyed on his very existence.

But as it has been said before, Jeno is a simp, and he wasn’t even the most subtle about it. It was almost impossible for him to keep his eyes off Jaemin for more than two minutes. He glanced back at the clueless boy quietly eating his food, and then further behind him at the TV across the living room. And he got an idea.

“Do you wanna watch a movie after dinner?” He asked as he resumed his focus on doing the dishes. His question lingered in the air for a moment before a thought crossed his mind and he asked again “Do you even like watching movies?” He was almost confident that he had never seen Jaemin sit in front of the TV before. In their whole month of being roommates.

And then Jaemin’s hushed voice answered “I prefer reading…” It did not come as a shocking revelation to Jeno, he has never once seen Jaemin without a book in his hand. He almost accepted the indirect rejection to watching a movie until Jaemin continued in a small, barely heard voice—If Jeno did not have every single inch of his being fixated on Jaemin he would have missed it— “But we can watch something if you want.”

Suddenly containing his excitement seemed like the hardest thing Jeno had to do, ever. Pursing his lips tightly and giving Jaemin his back to hide the glee in his eyes, scrubbing away the already clean plate for the second time just for the sake of pretending to be nonchalant when his wolf was spiraling like he was high on dopamine. Calm down, silly Alpha.

After Jeno insisted on doing Jaemin’s dishes too since he did all the cooking, they finally sat down on the couch facing the TV. The Alpha went into another mental rampage when Jaemin chose to sit next to him instead of the other sofa. Trying to get a grip of himself and his excited pheromones, Jeno quickly directed his attention to something else and asked Jaemin for his preference. “What type of movie should we watch?”

Jaemin looked to his side at him and Jeno quickly looked away, slightly panicking as if he was caught stealing—does stealing glances count?—. Jaemin hummed before muttering “I don’t know…” so soft-spoken as if he felt bad for continuously having no proper answers to Jeno’s bombardment of questions throughout the night.

“Okay, what type of books do you read then? I’ll pick a similar category!” Jeno asked with equal enthusiasm to all his previous questions, as if learning about Jaemin was the most exhilarating thing in his life and he could never get bored of it—which is true but Jaemin does not need to know that—.

He tried to keep his cringe at bay when Jaemin answered “Romance?”. Now Jeno was not the biggest romance movie fan himself, but his wolf is a sucker for pretty boys, with round starry eyes, who so happen to be his mysterious roommate. So before even considering saying no, Jeno would have to win an inner battle between himself and his very aggressively obsessed wolf.

“Okay how about something romcom?” Was the best deal Jeno could get himself. At least he would not have to resist yawning through a boring love story, and maybe have a good laugh instead. Jaemin nodded tentatively but said nothing.

They took around 15 minutes to pick a movie, before they watched in complete silence. Or, Jaemin watched in silence. But Jeno? Jeno was far too gone. The heat radiating from their bodies sitting a few inches apart, and increasing through the intimate scenes, drove him insane. Jaemin’s more than delightful chuckles,  his soft gasps whenever something was too shocking, every little disapproving or approving noise he made. Jeno caught it all and engraved it in his brain to cherish for a century ahead. His brain wanders further to imagine a different setting than the current one, where Jaemin would let out such breathy soft noises and Jeno would swallow them all—Jeno caught his hand from smacking himself for how far in the gutter his head has landed. Disgusting perverted Alpha.

As the movie continued Jaemin became quieter for some reason, and then he was completely silent, Jeno found out later, once the movie credits rolled and as Jaemin’s head gently dropped to his shoulder like a fallen tree leaf. His roommate was fast asleep.

Jeno froze, not daring to let out any sound, not even a breath that would possibly interrupt the latter’s sleep. He looked at him, admiring him from up close, taking mental notes of every detail, relishing in their closeness and physical contact. And then it hit him, his curiosity about Jaemin’s neutral scent surfaced. His eyes lowered to Jaemin’s hand. A small patch that almost matches the color of his skin, covered the scent gland on the inner of his wrist. Jeno frowned. Trailing his gaze once again to peek at Jaemin’s neck, leaning forward slightly but not too much as to not wake him up, and surely enough, right below his ear, his main scent gland was hidden under another patch.

The Alpha’s disappointment was present in his deep frown. He fought with everything within him to not rip these derogatory patches off and inhale Jaemin’s scent until there was none left of it. He was almost a hundred percent sure that he would be addicted to his scent, like he is with everything else related to Jaemin.

Jeno leaned in inattentively, sniffing Jaemin’s hair once it tickled his nose, the scent of his floral shampoo, although not as satisfying as his actual scent—He assumed—it made him sigh contentedly. He didn’t dare make any abrupt moves. If he could freeze time, he would stay like this forever, with Jaemin against his shoulder, their warmth mingling. This moment was his heaven.

But as per usual, the heavenly peace did not last. Jaemin’s phone buzzed in his pocket, cutting their moment short for the second time that evening, and snapping him out of his sleep in a panic. He didn’t even realize the position they were in as he scattered to reach for his phone and answer the call with shaky hands. Jeno couldn’t help but glance at the screen—he needed a name for the person who shattered his peace.

 

“Kev ♡” 

Calling…

 

Jeno’s whole demeanor shifted in a blink. His eyes lost their shine. His heart sank to his abdomen. And he stayed still even when Jaemin left his side to answer the call in their room. Even when he saw it with his own two eyes, Jeno wanted to push the truth away as far as possible. His mind was caught in a tug-of-war, to accept the obvious reality or to hold onto the comforting illusion. Jeno wanted to lock himself up somewhere, somewhere where he could avoid confronting his thoughts, somewhere where he could howl in agony without anyone hearing him. Somewhere hopefully dark so it will be impossible for him to see even the clear signs.

Because he will not accept taking ten steps backwards when he barely managed half a step forward tonight.

Jaemin is already seeing someone…

---

 

Notes:

Second chapter is over!

We're getting more of Jaemin but at this rate Jeno might combust soon!!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! please let me know your thoughts down below, all your comments are much appreciated 🤍🤍

Chapter 3

Since that night they spent bonding over making dinner and watching a movie, Jeno assumed that their relationship would only peak from there and they would naturally get closer, but instead, they grew further apart. In fact, Jeno didn’t see Jaemin at all after that night for a few days, his bed remained neatly made and untouched all along, and the Alpha wondered if Jaemin even came by the apartment.

Until he finally ran into him in college three days later. Jeno frowned upon seeing his roommate’s face covered with a mask. Was Jaemin not feeling well? He wondered as he walked up to him, ready to show his concern and ask about his whereabouts for the past few days. But from afar, and before he could get any closer, Jaemin looked at him and almost immediately turned away to walk in the opposite direction. Thus causing Jeno’s steps to slow down until it came to a halt. He simply watched Jaemin fade further away in the sea of students. Leaving behind a worried sick and hurt Alpha.

“Obviously it is his boyfriend!” Yuta said, sitting across the table from him. They were gathered in the food court as usual after their classes were over for the day. Doyoung and Jaehyun in their own world on the side, while Johnny laid his head on the table, probably sleeping again, and Ten was still trying to finish his meal after an hour of starting.

“It could be his friend though!” Ten retorted, shoving three fries in his mouth afterwards.

“Why would he have his friend saved as ‘Kev heart’?” Yuta rolled his eyes, convinced that he was correct, and Jaemin was in fact seeing someone.

“I have a heart next to your names!” Ten argued back. And Jeno was starting to regret opening up to his friends about it.

“Lies. you only have one of us with a heart next to his name!” Yuta said, gesturing with his head to the sleeping man on their table. “And we all know why you have a heart next to his name!” The Beta smirked, smug about his successful shot in making Ten resort to a silent blushing mess. And it was true, everyone knew about Ten’s very obvious crush on Johnny. Well, everyone but Johnny himself. And Jeno cannot help but feel that Johnny is only missing out because of him constantly being asleep or half awake.

“What is going on?” Doyoung joined the conversation once Jaehyun moved to answer a phone call.

“We’re talking about Jeno and his roommate that he wants but can’t have.” nicely put, Yuta. nicely put.

“Aww poor puppy, you’re still on that? Let it go, Jen. It was only one dinner and a movie.” Doyoung replied, his voice sarcastically sweet, but it felt like tiny stabs to the Alpha’s chest.

Jeno sighed, not taking part of the whole conversation despite being the main topic. He twirled his drink with the straw, getting lost in his thoughts as his friends jumped topics for another hour before calling it a day.

The walk back to the dorm was peaceful without his noisy friends cutting his train of thoughts every five seconds. Jeno let his brain wander to that familiar face that has been occupying his thoughts, permanently, for weeks on end. He sighed. No matter how much he thinks about it, it does not lessen the pain in his chest or the burn in his throat. The idea of Jaemin being with someone makes the world around him lose its colors. It feels dark. And Jeno does not know how to cope with such great sadness.

All his life he has been a bright person, he was carefree and optimistic, as if he had no idea what the word “pain” or “suffering” meant. As if these words didn’t exist in his dictionary. And then one day he meets Jaemin and his bright world gets even brighter, only for it to turn to a black and white painting the minute he suspects that Jaemin is dating someone else.

“Ten is right, it could be his friend!” The only way for him to not lose his sanity is to stay in denial.

Jaemin was not seeing anybody. Jaemin was available, and as soon as Jeno mustered up the courage he could ask him out, because Jaemin was not seeing anybody, and it is okay to do that. As if his mind is caught in a protective bubble, resisting the discomfort of reality even though it’s pressing against the surface. Repeatedly telling himself the same lie until he got to the apartment. He ran into Mark earlier and the Alpha told him that he and Haechan will be out late tonight, which means that Jeno will be home alone, since Jaemin was still a no show in the apartment since that day.

He unlocked the door, walked in, and instantly was hit by a scent that made him wrinkle his nose, it was sharp and unpleasant. His expression twisted in disgust, eyebrows furrowed and lips curled as though tasting the spicy edge in the black pepper odor. For a moment he thought he was smelling another one of Mark’s failed attempts in making dinner, but as he passed by the kitchen he realized that the source was coming from behind the closed door that leads to his room.

Jeno let his curiosity lead the way. Stepping closer to the bedroom he shares with Jaemin, ready to fight whoever was the reason behind this unfamiliar scent. Mostly because the smell was that bad, but also because whoever it was is in their bedroom with no consent. 

Once he opened the door the scent increased ten folds, the pungent and slightly woody scent leading him to a sight he wished he would have never witnessed. Jaemin, in his bed that he left unoccupied for days, spooned by another guy in a cozy and intimate manner.

Jeno stood frozen. His eyes wide and unblinking as if the weight of what he’s looking at was too heavy to process. His lips trembled slightly, parted but unable to form words even when the stranger, who had the most annoying face—based on Jeno’s totally unbiased opinion—gave him a condescending look, he could not stop staring back in shock.

“What?” The pepper smelling guy snapped, obviously bothered by Jeno’s lingering gaze on them without uttering a word. The Alpha’s fist itched to swing and land on him. But as his gaze moved from the unknown guy to Jaemin’s remorseful face, he instantly calmed down.

Jaemin looked apologetically at him, unaware that what he should be apologizing for wasn’t the uninvited guest he brought to their bedroom, but the fact that Jeno’s heart was pounding so hard it hurts. Each beat echoing louder than the last one. His chest ached, not just emotionally, but physically, as if something had cracked deep inside him. 

And just like that, lies he told himself all the way here, collapsed in a moment, and he was left with nothing but silence and pain. 

---

Since that unfortunate night, Jeno has been constantly sick. The aura around him is dark and gloomy. His scent has soured, preventing others from getting anywhere near him, as if he was sending a silent message to leave him alone. His presence was less radiant, his words limited, and his shoulders sagged as though the grief had physically hollowed him out. Completely and utterly defeated by the mere thought that someone else had snatched away the only person that Jeno desired in his whole life.

He didn’t realize it at first. He had underestimated his attraction toward Jaemin. So now he carries the weight of what he never said out loud.

He used to rehearse the words in his head. On his walks home, in the quiet moments before he sleeps, in the seconds after his eyes land on Jaemin. But he always told himself there would be a better time to confess. When he felt more certain. When the fear of making things awkward between them—more than they already were—didn’t outweigh the hope of something more. He always delayed letting out these words. And now Jaemin was with someone else. And that’s the fact that keeps Jeno awake at night. He had so many moments. So many chances. And he let them all pass.

So now he watches from the borders of Jaemin’s world that he didn’t fit anywhere within, still the one who knows Jaemin’s sleeping habits, how he likes his coffee in the morning, and the sound of his faint giggles as he reads another one of his romance novels. But someone else gets him. Someone else holds his hand. Someone else that is not Jeno.

Since then Jeno has made up his mind. He must keep his distance. He must stop these feelings from growing any further. So he avoided Jaemin at any encounter. The accidental meetings that he once prayed for were now his nightmare. And as if the universe was playing a sick game on him, Jaemin was suddenly everywhere. No matter which way he took back to the dorm, which route he took to his classes, which table he chose to sit at in the food court, he ran into him almost every time.

And as if these dejecting coincidences weren’t enough, Jaemin was suddenly more willing to engage in conversations with him, and even starting a few small talks when they ran into each other in their shared room, you know, when Jeno was not too busy hiding away from him either by waking up much earlier than anyone else, or not returning back to the dorm until he was sure that it was late enough for his roommate to be asleep.

But despite Jaemin’s unexpected constant attempts to start a conversation with him, the Alpha could not get the image of his roommate lying in bed with someone else out of his head. Every time he almost falls for the trap that is Jaemin’s starry eyes and his soft-spoken words, the image flashes in his head like an unavoidable warning. You must keep your distance.

So when it was a Friday evening, he decided that it was safe to stay home since Jaemin usually spends his Fridays out—probably with his boyfriend—. Mark and Haechan were oddly home too for the weekend, and Jeno found it rather easy to engage with the couple, as if he knew them all along.

Maybe it was the presence of an Omega. Haechan was warm, like the sun, he made those around him feel cosy. His Alpha was as equally chill and friendly, Jeno thought he had maxed out on his luck with befriending Alphas like himself, due to their naturally competitive and jealous instincts, but Mark didn’t seem bothered by his sub-gender at all. In fact, Mark didn’t seem to pay attention to anything other than Haechan, his Omega, his mate of four years and counting.

Jeno’s brain had left the conversation after hearing how many years his housemates had been together, mated and so ridiculously in love. He felt envy deep in his bones, but it wasn’t an ugly feeling that could cause harm or destruction, it was more of a ‘I want what they have’ kind of feeling.

And as if fate had nothing better to do than to mess with his sanity nowadays, Jaemin walked in just in time. Light and quiet as the wind, they didn’t hear him until he was in the living room with them. Jeno instantly looked away, the scent of black pepper being brought in with his roommate irritated him, especially since he knew who the source of that unappetizing smell was.

“Hey Jaemin! I’m surprised you’re home on a Friday night!” Haechan greeted him with his usual bubbly voice. And when Jaemin merely smiled a little at him, he continued “well, come join us? Have you eaten yet? We had pizza but there’s still some leftovers!” Haechan rambled on, missing the way Jaemin’s eyes landed on Jeno and stayed there.

“I already ate, thank you.” Jaemin said, but nonetheless took the invitation to join them. Walking further into the room and making Jeno’s soul escape his body when he chose to sit right next to him.

The Alpha started hyperventilating, so grateful that he was capable of controlling his scent now. Otherwise everyone would’ve been able to smell the distress in his leathery pheromones. He tried to pace his breathing and calm himself down, allowing enough oxygen in his brain to think rationally before doing something that would possibly have him kicked out of the dorms.

But how could he think straight when Jaemin was sitting so close to him he could feel the heat of his body burning his side and melting his skin. Haechan carried on with the conversation, and Jaemin seemed equally invested in whatever he was saying. It almost seemed like the perfect night between four housemates bonding over beer and soju, but Jeno could only handle so much.

Refusing to indulge in another false hope that would surely lead to another heartbreak. Jeno cleared his throat, cutting their conversation as they all turned their attention to him. He avoided a certain gaze as he excused himself.

“I forgot my friends are waiting for me, I have to go.” He lied.

Haechan looked perplexed at the sudden appointment when Jeno clearly told them that all his friends are busy this weekend, but he said nothing about it and just nodded. Mark didn’t seem to think much of it and just waved goodbye as he buried his face further into his boyfriend’s neck, shamelessly sniffing him. Jeno didn’t dare throw a glance in Jaemin’s general direction, missing the disappointment in his teary eyes that followed him until he was out of sight.

That was another evening of Jeno roaming around the empty campus with his blaring thoughts following him everywhere. Sighing every five seconds as they kept getting louder and more intense.

“Stop!!” he grumbled to himself. If someone was to peek out the window from any of these random dorms he ended up near, they would think he’s a madman with the way he stood there talking to himself, getting mad at his own brain for not giving him a break since that unlucky day weeks ago, when he confirmed the existence of Jaemin’s partner and possible mate.

“No way they’re mated. Jaemin does not smell like him. He does not smell like anyone or anything.” he tries to calm his anguished wolf to no avail. So instead he started running. Hoping that his roaring thoughts will lose their potency with the force of the wind.

That night he ran for god knows how long, only going back to the apartment when it was late enough for everyone to be sleeping and he could slip in for a quick shower before going to bed without having any awkward small talk with anyone, especially his roommate.

---

 

 

Notes:

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Thank you for reading 🤍

Chapter 4

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Jaemin’s POV

 

Jaemin felt lost. No matter what he did or tried, he couldn’t get Jeno’s attention back on him. He was saddened by the way Jeno started avoiding him, and he knows he’s selfish for loving the Alpha’s devoted attention to him whenever he walks into a room, but he couldn’t help it.

He always felt tingles in his stomach, something flourishing deep in his chest, when he sensed the lingering gaze of his roommate, staring at him with enough intensity to strip him bare and pierce through his soul.

It didn’t make sense to him. He was stuck in a constant battle, stuck in a quiet storm, between his heart that yearns for Jeno’s gaze, voice, touch, and his mind that plays the same broken record “You are in a relationship” on repeat. 

Jaemin was the most loyal person known to the world, but whenever Jeno was around his movements grew hesitant, his eyes darting, and awkward silence filled with unspoken emotion surrounded him. Jeno made him feel. He wasn’t used to it, one look at the Alpha’s eyes and Jaemin wanted to melt into the floor and let Jeno collect him piece by piece. Something deep inside him told him that Jeno could do that. He could handle him with care and tenderly build what was long broken within him.

At first he didn’t try to name what he felt for his roommate in their passing moments. He pushed it to the back of his mind and heart. Something alarming in the way his whole existence reacts to merely catching a glimpse of Jeno, let alone talking to him. So he avoided him at first, a crude attempt to stay loyal, but who was he fooling, his wolf knew him best. His Omega was seeking these encounters with Jeno even when Jaemin’s mind refused it. His Omega was trying to name that feeling that felt both right and wrong at the same time.

And when he allowed his Omega to take control and he indulged in it, he found himself making dinner for the both of them, before spending the night watching a movie together in their cozy living room.

Jaemin felt a foreign warmth take over him that night, it consumed his soul and left him craving for more. But fear of vulnerability mixed with the desire to connect wasn’t a good combination. So he gave out mixed signals beyond his control. One second he was warm and then he was cold, as if testing the waters, as if deciding whether to take a dive into the sea of his feelings. It was confusing to him. An Alpha he met less than two months ago was making him question everything.

His feelings, brewing since the moment he met Jeno, erupted that night, the night they spent together doing the most common activities as roommates who share a living space. Jaemin understood then the intense pull he felt whenever their eyes met. He was into the Alpha in a way that was forbidden to him. He wasn’t a mated Omega per se, but he did have a boyfriend.

A jealous boyfriend who grew ten times more possessive when he met him the day after, and he smelled the lingering scent of leather and amber all over Jaemin.

Days have passed since that afternoon, and yet he could still feel the sting of the slap that landed on his face—Jaemin had to wear a mask for a while to hide his bruised face and busted lips—followed by only the most ruthless chain of name-calling and curses that punctured his soul, and a severe pain in his scalp from getting his hair pulled harshly while his boyfriend accused him of being a cheating whore “as expected from his sub-gender” according to his Beta boyfriend.

He was an Omega, only the most beautiful creature known to mankind both inside and out, but Jaemin didn’t love being an Omega one bit. Whether it’s thanks to his Beta mother who kicked him out of the house because her creepy boyfriend wouldn’t stop staring at her Omega son.

Or if it’s because of his boyfriend who does not allow him to reveal his sub-gender and forces him to wear the strongest kind of scent blocking patches. Claiming that he does it out of love and his desire to protect him and keep his weakness—as he refers to his sub-gender— a secret so no one would use it to belittle or abuse Jaemin. But deep down Jaemin knew that it wasn't the truth and his intentions weren’t entirely pure, so he refused to wear the patches at first.

But he still carries the bruises from the day he told Kevin about the living situation in the dorm and how he’ll be roommates with a random guy. After hearing that, his boyfriend was consumed by an uncontrollable and unsettling rage, so he lashed out. Punching Jaemin’s stomach a few times, decorating his thighs with cigarette burns, and leaving a mean scar on his hips later on when he wanted to make up by forcefully mating with him despite Jaemin’s uncomfortable cries and displeased scent.

Since then Jaemin had no choice but to wear the patches to avoid angering his boyfriend again. Even if the patches hurt and are known to be unsafe when worn for a long period of time, Jaemin wanted to please his boyfriend—or he was just too scared of displeasing him—.

That night, Jaemin cried outside of the dormitory for hours before slipping into the room hours past midnight when he was sure everyone would be sleeping already, and no one would question his puffy red eyes.

Being welcomed by Jeno’s warm scent, he shivered at the thought of his boyfriend finding out that his roommate was no less than an Alpha. Getting lost in his thoughts, assuming he won’t be able to sleep becuase of the night he had. But slowly and surely he found himself rather comforted by his roommate’s soothing amber scent and slowly drifted off into the best sleep he had in his whole life.

His Omega felt secure and relaxed by the presence of an Alpha in their small dorm room. The fact that the Alpha was Jeno, only the sweetest and most tender Alpha he had ever met, might’ve added to the feeling of warmth within him. And it helped Jaemin sleep like a baby every night while desperately inhaling Jeno’s faint scent from across the room.

So now that the Alpha was clearly doing his best to avoid him, Jaemin’s Omega was in distress. Constantly seeking Jeno’s comforting scent that has soured in the past few days to the point that it didn’t bring him comfort but worried him instead.

He wondered if something was wrong. If Jeno was repulsed by something he did. If he even had the right to say anything or attempt to fix whatever frail situation—calling it a friendship would be a stretch— they had going on.

He was lost. Confused. All along he knew that he didn’t feel strongly for Kevin, because his Omega never felt safe nor relaxed around him, but he was so used to the Beta’s presence in his life that he couldn’t picture the possibility of not seeing him anymore.

Jaemin met Kevin when they were only 12 years old, they were close friends, and they started dating after Jaemin presented as an Omega in his last year of high school. Kevin presented as a Beta a month later, and was quick to jump on the opportunity to snatch Jaemin, the only Omega that attended their all boys school— thus a school of mostly Alphas and Betas—.

Back then it gave Jaemin a twisted kind of comfort to know that someone wanted him in their life. Someone stayed after knowing his sub-gender even when his own mother abandoned him. So he accepted Kevin’s dating proposal even when he didn’t see him as more than a friend. He believed that Kevin was a nice person and he will grow to love him over time. 

But now, faced with a wave of intense emotions every time his eyes so much as land on Jeno, he finds himself wondering if he ever developed any positive feelings for his boyfriend in the past year of dating him. 

Jeno who instantly makes him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside by simply existing in the same space as him. Jeno whose scent is a source of comfort and brings Jaemin to a relaxing slumber every night. Jeno who talks to him in a soft gentle voice instead of using his widely known Alpha commanding voice. Jeno who tiptoes around him as if he was a sensitive skittish cat that he didn’t want to bother. Heck, Jeno who the mere thought of him, makes Jaemin’s day brighter and his life a little less unbearable.

How could he even compare his boyfriend to him?

---

 

 

Jaemin woke up to another day in an empty bedroom. His Alpha roommate was nowhere in sight, nor is his scent that usually lingers a little longer even after he leaves the room. Which meant Jeno either woke up super early and left the apartment, or he didn’t come back at all since the day before.

With a sigh, Jaemin dragged himself out of bed, getting ready for his day never seemed like a hassle until today. He had zero motivation to go outside and meet people, his only urge being to stay curled up in bed and hope for Jeno’s scent to wash over him out of nowhere.

As he stood by his closet a thought suddenly occurred to him. He glanced at Jeno’s side of the closet where all his clothes were, most likely laced with his addicting amber and leather scent that Jaemin craved so bad it physically pained him.

His Omega urged his body forward before he could even comprehend it, but Jaemin stopped himself just as he was reaching for the closet handle. Reasoning with his Omega that it was weird and creepy to crave a stranger’s scent, nor did he have the right to do it. But his Omega was even more stubborn than he was, and if Jaemin didn’t leave the closet area soon, he’d be digging through Jeno’s clothes in no time.

He rushed out of the room after throwing on one of his oversized hoodies. He had no classes today so he didn’t need to look too presentable when all he’s doing is spending his time in the library, doing his research and working on his projects.

As he walked out of his room he ran into his housemates, sadly not the one he was most excited about, but still  really nice housemates that he grew to like over time.

“Good morning! Want some breakfast?” Mark said from his spot on the couch, pointing toward the open kitchen where his boyfriend was preparing a meal. Jaemin didn’t need to ask to know that the Alpha was kicked out by Haechan—once again—for messing up something in the recipe or getting in his way in the kitchen.

“Good morning, Jaemin!!” Haechan greeted him with his consistent sweetness and cheerfulness. “Wanna join us for breakfast?”

“Good morning!” Jaemin responded, his voice only slightly above a whisper as usual, his shy nature equally as present in front of all of his housemates, even if the reasons differ between these two and Jeno. “I’m good, thank you!” He politely declined their offer.

“Do you have an early class?” Haechan asked, plating the food for his boyfriend before calling him over to eat.

“No, just heading to the library to get some work done!” Jaemin answered as he put his shoes on.

“Why is everyone suddenly going to the library?” Haechan asked, but it didn’t sound like a question that was directly aimed at him, it was more of a personal thought said out loud. Jaemin tilted his head slightly in confusion but didn’t question it further, he said goodbye to his housemates and was on his way to the library.

The Library was completely empty if not for the few students scattered around. This is why Jaemin preferred being here early in the day before it got busy and crowded. But his luck doesn’t push further as at the far corner, where the computers sat, all five stations were occupied. All but one. The fifth machine had no one seated in front of it, but someone’s belongings—a backpack slung off the back of the chair, and an open notebook —marked it as claimed.

Jaemin approached it cautiously, his steps light against the library’s wooden floors. He glanced around, searching for the owner, and hovered behind the chair trying to find any clue to the absent owner, until suddenly he was shadowed by a presence he knew all too well. Strong, grounding, and undeniable.

The scent of amber and leather was warm and intoxicating. It made the hairs at the back of his neck stand in salute, before it engulfed him completely and he basked in it. He closed his eyes and inhaled greedily. He’d recognize that scent anywhere. He had been craving it since he opened his eyes this morning.

“That’s my seat,” The Alpha spoke calmly with unwavering confidence in his tone. And Jaemin turned around slowly. The voice alone had stirred something primal in his chest, but what met his eyes unravelled him completely.

The moment their eyes met, Jeno’s confidence cracked like thin ice. He stiffened. His gaze faltered and dropped to the floor, before he took a small step back and away from the Omega. He looked unsure, like the mere sight of Jaemin put his heart and mind in a silent war.

“Sorry, I was just checking!” Jaemin said, clearing his throat to force his voice through the sudden tightness in his throat. Seeing Jeno like this gave him a strong urge to cry. There was something so cruel about watching this charming and proud Alpha deflate whenever in his presence, like a kicked puppy, or a sad wolf. Jaemin’s heart stung sharply at the sight every time.

“It’s okay,” Jeno said, already gathering his belongings. “I’m done anyway. You can use it.”

“No, it’s fine really!” Jaemin shook his head and waved both hands. “I’ll just come back later.” he said, instantly turning to walk away. But how could he even move a muscle when Jeno’s burning touch wrapped around his wrist and imprinted there. Jaemin halted, his breath catching in his throat.

“Stay,” Jeno said, his voice although softer now and just above a whisper, but it was still laced with that unmistakable Alpha command.

Jaemin felt a twitch deep in his abdomen, and he instinctively pressed his thighs together. Heat flared within him, unbidden and excessive. He hated how easily his body responded to such a simple one-word command. If not for the scent suppressing patches he wore religiously, the entire library- scratch that, the entire campus would be drenched in the sentimental sweetness of ripe peaches.

He stayed still, grounded by Jeno’s touch, his gaze locked on the hand wrapped around his wrist like a puzzle, a question he didn’t know how to answer. Or maybe he didn’t want to answer. His feelings toward his Alpha roommate had long crossed the line of purity. But Jaemin refused to acknowledge his disloyalty, so he chose to keep the question unanswered. To keep Jeno an unsolved puzzle at the very back of his thoughts and the deepest part of his heart.

He could only stare in silence at the back of the Alpha as he walked away, taking his addicting scent with him, leaving Jaemin longing for more even though he would never voice it out loud.

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