The Licensing Deal from Hell

by AverageChanceEnjoyer

Summary:

After Twisted Dandy is brought in as a cameo killer, the Forsaken Survivors are dragged into the Gardenview Center as part of a rather…avant-grade approach to the creation of the show’s fourth season.

A full compilation of the existing chapters of my Forsaken x Dandy's World fic, compiled for convenience. The original pages can be viewed on my account, but additions will be made here.

Chapter 1: The Survivors in...Fine and Dandy

“We have a special one for you tonight, dear viewers. Thanks to our lovely sponsors over at the Gardenview Center, we bring you this round’s killer…DANDICUS DANCIFER, on the map…PIRATE’S BAY! Survivors, fare thee horribly…and be sure to have fun, little flower! Now, the round…BEGINS!”
An ominous bell signaled the release of the killer, and the survivors initiated their rollout, just as they had done many times before. Builderman beckoned Chance, Shedletsky, and Elliot to follow him up the stairs to the top of the skull in the island’s center.
“Ooh, a new killer? Let’s give him a sinner’s welcome, John,” Chance said excitedly, flipping a coin and glancing at Shedletsky.
“This is a sponsored killer. The sponsors aren’t gonna like it if we bully him first thing. Let him have his fun,” Shedletsky replied.
“I’d rather not ‘let him have his fun’, Shedletsky. I’d be run down in seconds,” Elliot snapped back.
“You have Rush Hour up, don’t you?” Builderman asked.
“If Chance messes up and Dandicus pulls a John Doe, I’m gonna be mincemeat, Rush Hour or not.”
“That might be the case, but if that happens, this little old number right here will stop him in his tracks,” Builderman said, pulling out his hammer.
Meanwhile, Noob was running for their life, Bloxy Cola coursing through their veins. An inky wound had raked across the foodie’s back, pulsing white-hot, as if John Doe and 1x1x1x1 had somehow teamed up to make the most terrifying poison ever. A music box playing Clair de Lune rang out as Dandicus chased after Noob, his squelching steps reverberating throughout the area. Noob looked back, out of breath. Dandicus stood up on his hind legs, allowing Noob to look the monster dead in his eyes. His head was a massive, multicolored flower in full bloom, with a face in its middle flashing a toothy, demonic grin at the scared survivor. His teeth were stained with blood, his eyes red with rage that showed itself nowhere else in his demeanor. He raised a claw to the heavens, once colorful but now stained with blood, film reels coiled around its forearm, stained through with a dark, viscous substance that dripped down into a puddle beneath the monster. The rest of its form was a slim body with an almost skeletal quality, a music box plinking away in its ripped-open stomach, between a pair of film reels coiled around its midsection. Everywhere else, there was only an impenetrable, inky-black goo, that roiled and bubbled in his bloodlust. Noob shielded their eyes, waiting for the end. But it wouldn’t come, as Two Time’s ceremonial dagger dug itself deep into Dandicus’s “flesh”, causing him to stop what he was doing and look at Two Time, who had ripped the dagger out with a gut-wrenching SHINK. Dandicus towered over the cultist as Two Time suddenly felt insignificant, for the first time in their lives. Two Time steeled themselves, and muttered a prayer to the Spawn, looking up at Dandicus, who shot back a challenged, sadistic grin. “I devote myself to the Spawn, and glorify it with my deeds. Deliver me from evil, o sacred Beacon, and I shall strike down your enemies in Your name.” Dandicus, amused at the funny little man’s funny little words, sprinted at Two Time, and grabbed the cultist, claws digging into pale, sanctified flesh, before throwing the cultist into a palm tree, cracking his spine. Two Time fell weakly to the ground, as an angelic form called itself forth from the ritual circle at the mast of a nearby shipwreck. “HEY! TALL, DARK, AND UGLY! OVER HERE!” Dandicus, enraged at the insults, whirled around to see Guest 1337, trying to get the twisted flower’s attention. “YEAH, THAT’S IT! YOUR FIGHT’S WITH ME, YOU STEAMBOAT WILLIE RIP-OFF!” The guest yelled, pointing at Dandicus, who broke into a full sprint to punish the hateful soul. He roared as Dandicus rushed the guest down, and Guest 1337 raised his hands to block, which only served to slightly slow down Dandicus as the claws raked across his side, sending him tumbling to the ground. Dandicus unfolded himself, and raised his claws high, before slamming them down into the guest, reducing him to a mess of blackened gore, as a puddle of black ichor formed beneath them, corrupted hands dragging the Last Guest down into the depths of Dandicus’s home. Dandicus drank in the exuberant feeling of a bully well punished, before the Spectre sighed, and “gently encouraged” Dandicus to keep going, to keep killing. Two Time, around a nearby corner, glanced at Dandicus, and their wings stretched themselves with anticipation, as Two Time crouched down, the sable curtains of divinity cloaking them in the darkness of the rain. Dandicus writhed in the wake of the Spectre’s “encouragement”, and Two Time dug their dagger deep into Dandicus’s thigh, focusing the pain to a single point. Dandicus, enraged, whirled around to see Two Time, and his expression softened upon seeing that Two Time was alright. Dandicus smiled, and took Two Time up in a crushing embrace, ichor spilling onto Two Time’s halo as Dandicus hugged Two Time, resulting in a horrifying, sickening CRUNCH, as Dusekkar’s Spawn Protection did little to help the cultist’s situation. Dandicus looked at Dusekkar, angered that the wizard had ruined the moment. Dandicus looked down at Two Time to see if they were alright, but Two Time was dead, the life thoroughly drained from their eyes. Dandicus dropped Two Time, and looked at Dusekkar, who zapped the flower, cementing the flower’s belief that, just like the militaristic blue-haired man, the wizard with a blue pumpkin for a head was just a big bully who needed to be taught a lesson. Dusekkar flew away, but Dandicus didn’t let the bully get away that easily. Even though he felt kinda funny due to the static electricity, that didn’t stop him, as Dandicus grabbed Dusekkar as Dusekkar shouted to his comrades, “A FLOWER BLOOMS, THE DARKNESS REAPS, A CONFLICT IS NOT WHAT YOU SEEK!” before he was slammed into a wall by the flower, and the monster bit Dusekkar’s head off. It had a smooth, pumpkin-y taste, with a smoky quality from the fireball held inside it. Dandicus enjoyed the pumpkin for a second, before a loud BANG reverberated out, as a musket ball dug itself into Dandicus’s forehead. Dandicus looked up, and saw a pale man in a headphone, sunglasses, suit, and fedora, holding a flintlock pistol and pointing down at Dandicus, saying, “THAT WAS FOR DUSEKKAR, YOU BEAST!” Dandicus looked up at Chance’s perch, and smiled sadistically, slamming against the skull and digging his claws into the rock, climbing up with terrifying speed. As it crested the top, Shedletsky raked his linked sword across the flower’s petals, leaving a grisly black gash across his face as Builderman’s sentry opened fire. The survivors huddled around the dispenser scattered, except for Noob, who cowered behind the life-giving machine. 007n7 looked up in disbelief at Dandicus. He’d seen something like him before, on one of those cartoon shows that c00lkidd loved to watch. It was only then, as Dandy unfurled himself over the once-hacker, that 007n7 realized who the sponsors of the match were, as Dandy unceremoniously swatted the man down, sending him rolling into a wall. Dandicus turned his attention to the sword-wielding bully, who stood ready, sword held in front of him as Builderman’s sentry kept ripping into the monster. Dandicus raised his hand to punish the evildoer, and swatted it down at Shedletsky, who dug his sword into Dandicus’s palm, causing him to roar in agony, strands of blood and ichor rippling out of the flower’s once-grinning teeth. Dandicus gripped Shedletsky’s arm, and tore it clean off in his rage, causing Shedletsky to scream in pain before Dandicus stomped Shedletsky into tiny little blackened bits. Dandicus gently ripped out the sword, muttering, “Now remember, kids, you always need to pull out a splinter before it gets infected…” before Chance pulled back the matchlock and called, “I’ll admit, this is a good look on you, Guest 666!” Dandicus whirled around to see Chance, coin in one hand and flintlock in the other. Dandicus, remembering Chance as the bully who shot him, grimaced at the gambler and charged forth, grabbing Chance “gently” by the midsection. Chance leveled the gun at Dandicus, yelling, “I’M FEELING LUCKY, MISTER DANCIFER! HOW ABOUT YOU, YOU INKY HEATHEN?” before firing a shot directly into Dandicus’s eye, causing him to shriek in pain. “OW! THAT HURT!” Dandicus yelled as he dropped Chance in the commotion. Dandicus cleared his eyes, and looked around. Everyone was gone, having fled in the scuffle. Except for the Sentry, of course; that was still unloading into Dandicus. Dandicus, bored, released his troubles on the poor machine and looked around. His mind throbbed. Someone fixed a generator. Dandicus whirled around, and broke into a full sprint, leaping into the air to pounce on the offending survivor. Builderman fell on his back in surprise, his hand outstretched as he was reduced to a red stain on the generator and a loose arm, hand still splayed in pain. “THERE YOU ARE, YOU BEAST!” Chance yelled, pointing his pistol at the now blood-spattered Dandicus. Dandicus, offended at Chance’s insults, rushed towards the gambler and grabbed him, this time by the neck. “Never, NEVER, CALL SOMEONE A BEAST!” Dandicus roared as Chance opened fire, smiling. Dandicus, now, was having absolutely none of it, and tossed Chance into a wall. Elliot, seeing his Chance, ran to the injured gambler, and knelt down next to him, offering Chance a slice of pizza. Chance grabbed the slice, but Dandicus, enraged, shoved Elliot out of the way before knocking the pizza out of Chance’s hand. Dandicus knelt down, and asked Chance, “Any last words, you big bully?”
Chance, seeing the absurdity of the situation, laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He settled down, and said, “Last time I checked, lucky clovers had four leaves, not six,” before promptly being crushed. Dandicus looked down at Chance as he was dragged into the depths, and smiled. He turned to Elliot, and saw a scared pizza delivery boy, back against the wall. Dandicus unfurled himself to his full height, and cocked his head. “Here’s a lesson to take to heart: Bullies don’t deserve pizza.” Elliot’s eyes widened. “Bully? What do you mean, ‘bully?’ You’re the bully for literally killing him!” Dandicus said, “Killed him? No, no, I merely taught him his lesson. You see, bullies don’t change on their own. They need a little push to get better. I simply gave him that push.”
“You gave him a little more than a push! You killed the poor guy, he’s nothing but a puddle now!”
“Well, maybe that’s what he needs to learn his lesson,” Dandicus said with a huff.
“Do you hear yourself talking, Dandicus?” Elliot asked indignantly.
“Why yes, I do. I have ears, you just don’t see them.”
“Obviously not, because if you did, you’d know that what you just did was being the bully, yourself!”
Dandicus gasped. “What did you say?”
Elliot, emboldened, pointed at Dandicus and yelled, “I HATE YOU! YOU’RE A SELF-OBSESSED BULLY AND I HATE YOU!”
Dandicus vibrated with rage. “You better take that back right now.”
Elliot, enraged as well, said, “NO! I’M NOT GONNA TAKE THAT BACK! IN FACT, YOU SHOULD TAKE THIS!” before promptly throwing a pizza at Dandicus. Dandicus, enraged, ran to grab Elliot, before tripping over a wire, falling onto a Subspace Tripmine which blew out his jaw, leaving pinkened ichor to dribble down from his mangled face as he got up and grabbed Elliot. Taph, wanting a share of heroism, pulled out another Subspace Tripmine and inserted a charge into the frame, before throwing it at Dandicus, who used Elliot to shield himself from the explosion. Dandicus, now indignant, took his anger out on Taph, who was dragged into the depths posthaste. The Spectre laughed. “One left, Dandy. Minute and fifteen seconds to get the noob. And…go.” The timer shortened to 1:14, and Dandy rushed to the skull. Noob, meanwhile, was standing next to the dispenser, their face paralyzed in a haunted expression. Dandicus leapt onto the rock behind them, and jumped down, contorting to face the scared Robloxian. The pinkened goop dribbling from Dandicus’s jawline bubbled a bit, as if Dandicus was saying something, but Noob couldn’t make it out. Words flashed across their vision. “Where were you when I was punishing the others?”
“H-Here, at the dispenser.”
Dandicus let out a bubbly chuckle, and raised his bloodied claw, the chariot of his judgement.
“You should have fought back.”
CRUNCH!
“And there you have it, folks! Not a very rousing game, if I’ll be honest, but while Dandy may be done with our contestants, their nightmare isn’t over yet, for I have an exciting announcement: The next few episodes are brought to you by the Gardenview Center Animation Studio, with our contestants featuring in a variety of wacky hijinks, that air and premiere every week on Saturday, at 9AM EST! Be there, or be square! Seriously, we paid a lot of money for this! And with that said and done, this is the Spectre, signing off.”

Chapter 2: The Survivors and Toons in...Reveille

Summary:

After being thoroughly gored by Twisted Dandy, the Survivors find themselves in a strange place.

Noob’s eyes opened. They were…somewhere, that was for certain. They were laying face-down against a colorful mat, with a disarray of various office supplies and storage equipment laying all around. Noob got up, and began to look for their friends. They walked reservedly, their breathing ragged.
“Guest?” they called into the darkness.
“Elliot?”
“Anyone?”
Suddenly, Noob heard footsteps. There was someone there! Someone else to talk to!
They turned to see who it was, and gasped in horror.
A pair of reddened, vacant eyes peered at them from the front side of a box, its top stained with a black, gooey substance. Two skeletal arms jutted out from the liquid filling the box, fingers splayed to grab the terrified foodie. A mouth in a near-permanent smile, brimming with sharklike teeth, repeated in a raspy, menacing voice, “Ichor…” as it approached, the box being held up by a woefully undersized body for a box that big filled with that much liquid, its (no doubt horribly aching) feet stained by the same black liquid, their regular hands staying vacantly swinging at their sides as they walked. Noob stood there, unsure of what to do, before the arms slashed at them, raking them with their nails. The painful sensation now pulsing through Noob’s body told them what to do, and they ran as fast as they could, while the monster simply stayed there, ferally licking at the splatter of blood left behind. Noob ran until they were out of sight of the monster, before yet another monster showed herself before the Noob. The ends of a pink bow, torn-up and stained with the black liquid, framed her face, and the vacant, statuesque stare that sat upon it. A bubble seemingly standing in for a ponytail sat at the back of her head, and the entirety of her body was blue, save for a pink sundress she was wearing, the end stained with black liquid. “Ichor…” she said, not in a raspy, gravelly voice like the box monster, but rather in a defeated whisper, insanity shining through ever so slightly. Noob, now out of breath from running from the box monster, fell on their back when they tried to run. The monster raised her fists, and a sword pierced through her chest, splattering the center of her dress with black liquid. Shedletsky ripped the sword out, and the bubble monster fell, clutching her chest in reserved pain as she dissolved into the black liquid. Shedletsky shook the sword a couple times to get the blood off, and extended a hand to help Noob up. He took out a fried chicken leg that he had unsanitarily been keeping in his pocket, and offered it to Noob. “Chicken?” he asked.
Noob shook their head. “No, thank you. I don’t even wanna know where those have been.”
“My shorts, duh. Where else do you think I store them?”
“Well, storing a fried chicken leg in your shorts 24/7 is disgusting, and nobody can tell me otherwise.”
“It seems to heal me no problem. If it’s good enough for me, it’s good enough for you. Seriously, I have never known you, of all people, to turn down food. So come on. Dig in. You know you want to.” Shedletsky shook the chicken leg to entice Noob.
“I am a Conisseur. I eat food, not random garbage someone keeps in their sweaty shorts all day.”
“Look, kid. This thing might not be the best, but it’s all ya got. And besides, don’t you keep your Ghostburger there too?”
“I-er-ugh, fine.”
Noob snatched the fried chicken from Shedletsky’s hand, and took a bite. It tasted…like a regular leg of fried chicken. Whoop-de-doo.
“Great, you finally came around. Now, LET’S FIND THE OTHERS! A-HA!” Shedletsky said with an air of chivalry, thrusting his sword in the air in a portrait-worthy pose.
“I will never understand you, John,” Noob said with a facepalm.
“Good thing you don’t need to!” Shedletsky said, sheathing the sword.

007n7 woke up. He was in a dark place, back against the wall. Dusekkar lay on a table, splayed as if in the midst of a surgery. Black stains covered the table, and a carving knife had been stabbed into it. 007n7 got to his feet, and moved to wake the wizard up. “Not now, white-hat, not a peep; I must get my beauty sleep,” the wizard rhymed.
“Now isn’t the time for beauty sleep! There’s no telling what’s stalking around here,” the hacker said.
Dusekkar sighed. “Either way, just five more minutes; my mind’s quite groggy without brains in it.”
007n7 rolled his eyes, and grabbed Dusekkar, pulling him off the table. Dusekkar halted just inches from the floor. “Okay, okay! I’m up, I’m up! Good thing I’m flying, that would’ve been rough.” Dusekkar righted himself, and summoned his staff. 007n7 fixed the burger on his head, and asked, “You good to go, Dusekkar?”
“Why yes I am, of course I’m well; my Death can’t ring his dinner bell.”
“Good, let’s get going and find the others.”
They walked out of the small workroom they were in, and 007n7 hummed a lullaby. “May I ask what song you sing? Its notes are spectral, flickering.”
007n7 stopped. “I don’t remember the name, but it was c00lkidd’s favorite lullaby.”
Dusekkar nodded, not seeing the point in a poem.
Suddenly, they both saw a large machine, nestled between two bookcases. It was a large glass tank with a valve at the bottom, hooked up to a pipe that ran somewhere far away. Something sat in front of it, seemingly using magic to turn the wheel, as a black liquid dripped into the tank. It had a nightcap on, with a star design. Its head was shaped like a half-moon, with its body cloaked under a blanket held close to them. Next to them, a being with a large lampshade for a head stood watch. It seemed not to have noticed them yet. Dusekkar turned to 007n7, whose eyes widened with realization.
“What ho! What luck! What glimmering gold we have struck!” Dusekkar floated towards them, and 007n7 followed close behind. The lampshade-clad being alerted the moon-headed being to the duo’s presence, and the moon-headed being turned to face them, a piercing gleam shining from its right eye, the other eye half open and a bored expression on their face. Dusekkar waved.
“I am Dusekkar, mage extraordinaire! Never have faltered, never ensnared!”
007n7 quietly waved, and the lamp-headed creature cocked her head. The moon-headed creature said something to her, and called back, “Hello there, Dusekkar. She’s Brightney, and I’m Astro, your standard government-issue dream god.”
“Ah, a fellow wizard! Hail, well-met, and truly enchanted!”
“Not a wizard, a dream god.”
”Many wizards moonlight as gods. It’s nothing new, it’s nothing odd.”
“You can just say you think I’m a fraud. You don’t have to make a poem about it.”
“I take pride in my poems, but that’s not why I make them, for if I don’t write an ode then my mouth cannot open.”
“Either way, it comes off as rude.”
“Well, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s physically incapable of not talking in rhymes. Besides, you sing a lot, if I remember correctly.”
”Yes, but that’s for the show. I can talk normall-wait, how do you know about the show?”
007n7 sighed. “c00lkidd used to watch it all the time. I kinda just learned about it through osmosis, really, but I really liked your lullabies; they knocked c00lkidd out Like A Light,” he said, nodding to Brightney.
“Glad you like them, 007n7.”
“You’re welco-hey, wait a minute, how do you know my name?”
“I know everyone’s names. I saw both of you dreaming in the other room. By the way, don’t worry; your friends are all safe, as far as I can tell.”
“Well, if they’re safe, then let’s go find them!”

Two Time awoke. They sat in the middle of a crude ritual circle, a Polaroid photo resting on their chest. They got up, and picked up the photo. The image was unintelligible, splotched with ink, but Two Time knew exactly what it was. “BEST FRIENDS!” was scrawled in the blank space beneath the photo. Two Time sighed, and stuffed the photo in their belt, pulling their ceremonial dagger. They took stock of the room; the whole room was dark, save for a single lightbulb hanging on a string. Lit candles sat around them, and books upon books were piled high. The room had only one entrance, and a complex tripwire system had been installed there, hooked up to a Subspace Tripmine. No doubt, this was the work of Taph. And speak of the devil, there he was, standing there leaning against the wall, glancing at his creation. “You’re up,”he whispered. “Thanks for telling me, Captain Obvious.”
“Can it,” Taph whispered as he pulled the tripmine off the mechanism.
“We need to move out, find Builderman. Now that you’re up, we can get to stepping,” Taph said as he unspooled the wire and packed up the pegs.
“Yea, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” Two Time recited as they peeked out from the door. The coast was clear. The two outcasts moved forward, a glimmering, pulsing subspace charge already in Taph’s hand. After a short while, Two Time held up their hand to halt; they heard a voice. “Wait. Keep quiet, we don’t know their intentions.” They crouched, and looked around the corner. “Two of them, a weird mirror…thing, and a butterfly creature. Big one, too.”
“Ichor…” something whispered behind them. They both turned to see a horrible sight.
He towered above them, long green hair covering one eye with the other crying a black liquid and looking horribly inflamed. His mouth was completely smeared with the black liquid, too, and he had a long, pink-and-white scarf with ends stained with the same black fluid. A puddle formed beneath them, and he stuck his hands into it. Both of them panicked, Taph shoving the subspace charge into the frame and chucking it at the monster. Two Time wasted no time absolutely booking it, as the mine detonated with a horrible scream. They ran to the two others they had seen, Two Time taking their Chances on whether or not they were friendly too. The butterfly fluttered rapidly, and the weird mirror looked back, panicking as well, as was normal for seeing a person running towards you with a knife in their hand. This resulted in a weird sort of chase, where everyone was running from the last one in the line; the two creatures were running from Two Time and Taph, while the two outcasts were in turn running from one very angry and very pink monster. Eventually, the two outcasts ran out of breath, and Two Time whirled around to face the monster. “You want trouble? Well, COME AND GET IT!” Two Time challenged, and the monster smiled before speeding up. Two Time held out the dagger, and stabbed it into the monster’s thigh, causing him to buckle as Two Time’s arm was covered in black blood. Two Time viscerally ripped out the knife with a meaty squelch, and dug it into the beast’s stomach, causing him to emit a gurgling screech before retreating, skittering into the darkness, hissing at Two Time. “That’ll teach ‘em,” Two Time said, wiping the dagger on their gloves. The butterfly creature, awestruck, fluttered over to them and cooed approvingly. The weird mirror creature followed not far behind, saying, “Flutter, don’t, we don’t know if they’re friendly or not!”
Two Time introduced themselves. “I am Two Time, Herald of the Spawn and Saint of its Holy Name.”
“Taph, demolitionist savant.”
The mirror creature sighed.
“Glisten. Nice to meet you, you two. That’s Flutter; she doesn’t talk well.”
Flutter cooed indignantly, and Glisten replied with an annoyed, “Yes, I can understand you, but they might not be able to. I’m just being considerate.”
Glisten turned to the two outcasts.
“I’m guessing you two aren’t from here.”
“No. It seems the Spawn has decreed me a missionary.”
“We got messed up by some weird flower creature and now we’re here.”
“Hm…conflict is rather uncharacteristic for him,” Glisten said cryptically.
“For who? Do you know him?”
”Possibly; we’ll get around to it in the elevator.”
”Great, let’s go there, then.”
“We can’t do that just yet, we have to do the Ichor extraction first. But with how you handled Sprout, things just got a whole lot easier for us Toons.”
Two Time and Taph looked at each other, not understanding Glisten’s funny little words, but either way, he was their best chance of getting to safety and vice versa, so they both shrugged and pulled out their tools.

Chance opened his eyes, and groaned as he got up. “Augh…ah God, last night was a blur!” He got to his feet, and fixed his hat; he had paid good Robux for it, and he didn’t want to wear it wrong. Same with the glasses, same with the headphones. Chance pulled out his pistol, and began to walk through the darkness. He heard voices, one male and one female. The male voice was Elliot, Chance had saved him in chases (and gotten chewed out for failing to do so) enough times that he could pick up on the poor delivery boy’s voice pretty quickly by now. But the female voice was less recognizable. It had an almost computerized quality to it, a metallic buzz accompanying her words and some certain sounds repeating for a few ticks. But other than those quirks, it was nearly indistinguishable from regular human speech; it had all the emphasis and cadence that a regular human would talk with, just with some vocal irregularity. Chance decided to take a gamble, and whipped around the corner, pistol raised. Elliot was standing there, with some rather peculiar company; namely, a tall woman with a CRT monitor for a head, two antennae sticking out of its top. A face was being broadcasted on it, and she looked surprised for a second before her expression narrowed to a focused glare, getting between Elliot and Chance. She wore a green suit with a green bow tie, and a tail with a microphone on its end hovered next to her. “Run, pizza boy! I’ll hold him off!” Chance, seeing Elliot, and not wanting to ruin such a dapper suit, lowered the gun. The TV woman cautiously lowered her hands, and Chance flipped the gun into its holster, outstretching his hand and flashing a grin. “Name’s Chance, proprietor and owner of the House of Lady Luck. Nice to meet you.” The TV woman hesitated a second, and glanced at Elliot, who motioned for her to reciprocate the gesture. “My name is Vee, your host for tonight’s trivia!” she said in her Announcer Voice, gesticulating wildly and grabbing her tail. Old, low-quality audio of a game show theme played out of her second channel, and Chance chuckled at the theatricality.
“Ah! A game show host, I take it. You’ll have to have me on sometime.”
“Seriously, he loves Wheel of Fortune!” Elliot interjected.
”Even though the only way I could watch it was on some ancient CRT,” Chance griped.
”Excuse me? Are you calling me old?” Vee said indignantly.
“He’s not calling you anything. The TV back where we…er… ‘lived’ was just terrible, and that’s it.”
“Oh…well, I have a variety of signal options available. I just have to ask my handlers for permission,” Vee said nonchalantly.
“Great. I was going insane watching ’80s reruns.”
“Glad I could help, Chauncey.”
Elliot shot a death glare at Vee, who smiled weakly.
“Er…sorry. Trying to lighten the mood.”
“It’s fine, but be sure to call me by the right name,” Chance asked.
“Thanks. I’ll be sure to remember that,” Vee said, not wanting to be on the wrong side of Chance’s gun.
Suddenly, two other creatures revealed themselves. One of them was a rather cagey-looking creature who had a gachapon machine for a head, with a sweater whose sleeves went past her hands, such that they kinda just…wiggled there as she moved. The other one was a little girl with an eight ball for a head, topped by a black beret, wearing a black sundress besides.
“Ah, there you are, you two!” Vee said, waving at them.
“The gachapon is Gigi, and the eight ball is Toodles,” Vee told the both of them.
“Who are they?” Gigi asked.
“The one in the suit is Chance, and the one in the red uniform is Elliot.”
Elliot waved at them, and Chance nodded. Gigi sized up Chance, and Chance conspicuously put his hand on the holster of his gun, which mysteriously coincided with Gigi looking away from him and his limiteds.
“Vee, can you use your Mic Check? We heard a big boom on the other side of the floor and we need to know if everyone’s okay,” Toodles asked.
Vee nodded, and tapped her mic two times. “Is this thing on?” She asked, and Elliot winced as the feedback hit. Vee’s monitor brightened for a second before dying down. Vee sighed.
“First of all, where is Looey? He’s supposed to be distracting them. Second of all, Sprout is limping. Third of all, where in the world is Poppy? I could’ve sworn I saw her when we got out of the elevator and did sitrep.”
“Well, I think I heard Taph’s mine go off. That has some serious destructive power to it,” Elliot explained.
”Who’s Taph?” Toodles asked.
“Just another one of our friends,” Chance said. “He’s got a big bomb he can set down, and if a bad guy gets too close, it explodes.”
“Ooh, fireworks!” Gigi interjected.
“That’s one way to think of it,” Chance said with a sigh.
”Chance hasn’t ever liked them after that one time it made his whole suit pink for a week,” Elliot said.
“Seriously, that thing was hell to clean. Good look on me with a little tinkering, though.”
“Don’t you have multiple suits?” Vee asked.
“No, just the one really.”
“Well, I have multiple suits, and I get regular costume changes,” Vee boasted.
”This suit costs 3,000 robux and is considered a Limited, which means that, by law, I cannot have multiple of them.”
“This body costs a fortune, too. Something to the tune of 11,000 robux.” Vee knocked her metal knuckle against her CRT head to get the point across.
”It seems our costs are even, then,” Chance conceded.
“You mean to tell me that hat, those glasses, and those headphones cost 8 grand?”
Chance nodded, and Vee glanced at Gigi. She whistled, and muttered, “I’ll have to step up my prizes if I want him on…”
Vee sighed, and said, “Well, let’s stop standing around and do the machines so we can get out and really talk.”
Suddenly, Shedletsky burst around the corner, swinging his sword wildly. He saw Vee, and pointed his sword at her. “What are you doing with them?” he asked in a heroic voice.
Chance facepalmed, and said, “Shedletsky, put the sword down. She’s friendly.”
Chance looked back at Vee, and said, “Sorry about that. Shedletsky’s a bit…excitable.”
”My name is John Shedletsky, and my noble companion is Noob! It is nice to meet you, miss..?”
”Vee. Technically, Vee V1, but just call me Vee,” Vee said as she outstretched her hand, before Shedletsky shook it vigorously. “Woah, woah, woah, watch it! Don’t break the hardware, it costs a fortune!”
“Possibly a Wheel Of-“
“No,” Vee said, hitting Chance with a death glare.
“Get it? Because…you’re a…game sh-ah, forget I said anything.”
Noob looked around the corner, and Elliot threw up his hands in excitement. “Noob! You’re alright!”
Noob threw up their hands, and the two hugged.
“Aww, that’s cute,” Toodles interjected.
“That’s absolutely adorable, and I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but we do have to get going,” Vee interjected, ruining the moment.
The two Robloxians stopped their hugging, and Noob said, “I agree. If you two are alive, then the rest are out there somewhere.”
“So let us not waste time, for time is of the essence!” Shedletsky said, thrusting the sword into the air.
“…sure. Let’s go with that,” Chance muttered as he drew his pistol.
And so the seven of them marched on, determined to find their comrades.
Eventually, they saw Two Time and Taph’s group, with Glisten heading the front, with an air of confidence. “Ah, there you are, Vee! I see you’ve found more of them.”
“Yes, four to be exact.”
“I tell you, with what these two did when they were normal, I’m sure their Twisteds are gonna lay us out.”
“They look normal to me.”
“I assure you, if they saw what they did to Sprout, you’d understand.”
Vee glanced at Two Time, absolutely drenched in ichor and holding a knife, and decided to take Glisten’s word.
Chance waved, and Two Time nodded. The four of them joined the procession, and yet more walking ensued. Eventually, they found Dusekkar’s group, and Dusekkar hailed them.
“Ah, there you are, I see it now! By Yorick’s name, we’re getting out!”
007n7 waved, and Noob waved back.
“The other two are somewhere near the machine. We can pick them up,” Astro notified Vee.
“And there’s only one machine left. We should just go back there now; strength in numbers,” Vee said, taking charge. Vee led the fifteen of them to the last machine, and stopped the others just a little distance away from it. “Hold. Go around him.”
Noob, just wanting to be done with this extraction, ran forth to do the machine, disturbing a large canister sitting on the floor. The canister opened, and Noob fell down, face slamming into a quickly-expanding pool of black liquid. A shape rose from the muck; it had a head shaped like a magnifying glass, with a purple coiffed collar, with the rest of their body entirely consumed by the black goop. It let out a slow, rising scream as a spotlight shone on Noob. Suddenly, Guest 1337 burst out from the shadows and jumped onto the monster, snapping its neck in one fluid motion. “What’s next with these people, thunder magic?” Vee whispered to herself.
“You okay, Noob?” Guest 1337 asked, helping up Noob.
”Yeah, just a little overheated. Jeez, that was hot.”
Chance and Elliot chuckled.
“Well, I’m glad all of you are okay,” Guest 1337 said.
“Guest, don’t go running in, you don’t know what’s-“
Builderman stopped, noticing the peculiar entourage.
“You know what, I’m not even gonna question it anymore,” Builderman said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
Taph nodded to Builderman, but Builderman did not respond; in the eyes of ROBLOX HQ, Taph did not legally exist or do anything at any point in time, and especially didn’t talk with Builderman, Shedletsky, Dusekkar, or any other ROBLOX employee.
Astro, just wanting to leave, got the machine, and they all waited silently. When the machine finished, Astro immediately started running, ushering them to move. “Go! Go! Go! We’ve got 30 seconds!” As soon as he was done saying that, klaxons began to sound, bathing the area in red light as a piercing roar was heard. All of them began to make a run for the exit, and they took a shortcut through a large main corridor. Two Time tripped, and Chance looked back to see a very angry Sprout standing over the cultist. Chance pulled his gun, and fired, a loud BANG blasting out, with white smoke being belched out the barrel and matchlock as Two Time scrambled to their feet. “TEN SECONDS, YOU TWO!” Vee yelled over the intercom, and they ran for their lives as the blast door of the elevator began to close. They slid into the elevator as the blast doors dropped with a deafening
KA-CHUNK!
Nobody said a word as the elevator began moving, gears accelerating with a horrible whine. Vee sighed. “Finally, we’re safe.” The Forsaken Crew looked at where everyone else was gathering; a large metal booth with three hatches on a table. The shutters concealing its sole occupant opened, and the scene descended into chaos, Guest 1337 yelling for everyone to get back while Two Time, Chance, and Shedletsky shoved everyone else out of the way to thrust their weapons into the shopkeeper’s face, yelling, “DON’T MOVE A MUSCLE!” and “NO SUDDEN MOVES!”
Dandy’s eyes were wide with surprise, but the heady tension was broken by Dandy gently nudging Shedletsky’s sword out of the way, and saying in a deescalationary corporate voice,
“Relax, relax. I’m sure you all have a lot of questions. ‘Where are we?’ ‘What do you want?’ ‘Who are they?’ ‘What’s a Twisted?’ ‘What’s that black liquid everywhere?’ And don’t worry, we’ll answer that in due time. But for now, let’s all just relax, and put our weapons down,” Dandy said slowly. Shedletsky was the first to stop, sheathing his sword with a huff. Two Time followed suit. Chance stayed aiming at Dandy for a few seconds, but eventually he, too, put the gun down.
“There…that’s better, isn’t it?” Dandy said calmly.
007n7 chuckled. His smile cracked, and he began to laugh uncontrollably. “Is this…another one of your cruel jokes, Spectre? First c00lkidd, now…now THIS? What’s next, are you going to make me unshackle the c00lgui?”
A ghostly laugh reverberated through their heads, answering 007n7’s question as the elevator began its ascent.

Chapter 3: Gardenview Instructional Video Tape

Summary:

An instructional guide given to all incoming Gardenview employees assisting with the Ichor Extraction Operation, with slight alterations given the circumstances.

This chapter serves to familiarize yourself with the interpretation of the Dandy's World lore that this story operates off of.

When it eventually did get back up, the elevator was immediately swarmed by technicians clad in white-and-gray uniforms, and led to various rooms separate from the Toons. Each of them were ushered to a seat, and a projector whirred to life behind them, an audio track spooling up to an appropriate volume. (Which is to say, with the worst sound balancing and mixing that is physically possible while still being intelligible.)

“WWWWWelcome to the Gardenview Educational Center and Museum! In this instructional video, we at the Gardenview Center Foundation Animation Department will tell you all you need to know in your time here!” A logo with a six-petalled flower with text beside it reading “GARDENVIEW CENTER FOUNDATION” flashed onscreen. “This instructional video will have five sections, totaling in approximately 20 minutes.” A table of contents popped onscreen, with five timestamps leading to different parts of the tape.

Section 1…Gardenview’s History

Section 2…Corporate Housekeeping: Your Privileges and Amenities at Gardenview

Section 3…The Pinnacle of Science: What is a Toon, and What are they Made Of?

Section 4…How to Do Your Job: Ichor Extraction for the Common Idiot

Section 5…Grander Goals: Why You, Specifically, are Here, Specifically

A section indicator flashed onscreen.

“Section 1: Gardenview’s History”

”The Gardenview Foundation has a noble and storied history, and it starts with these two humble college graduates.”

Two pictures flashed onscreen, of two young, college-aged people. One was a kindly young man with tan skin, and the other was a bright-eyed young woman with long sand-brown hair.

“Arthur Walton and Delilah Keen were both childhood friends that shared the same goal: Giving joy to the hectic world of the 1980s that they emerged from college into. Initially, Arthur Walton’s ideas for a children’s show teaching compassion and friendship were widely ignored in favor of investing into more established options. Despite this, Delilah’s lucrative job as a geneticist allowed the two to scrape by, and eventually applied for a loan from the city bank in 1984, using Walton’s connections to the Gardenview Parks and Recreation Department to renovate an aging community center into the Gardenview Educational Center and Museum, which opened to the public 4 years later in 1988.”

“While this was happening, Delilah was hard at work building the Center’s future with technology revolving around a revolutionary new fuel source: Ichor. Walton, seeing his chance for his show to be realized, integrated the main cast into the exhibits as mascots in preparation for the release of the main Dandy’s World show. This move was only temporary, however, and the two were separated into their own parts of the Center; thus the Museum Curation Department and the Animation Department were born.”

Two emblems flashed onscreen, one of a flower with a pen in its middle, and another, more heraldic emblem with a brush and more ribbons than a fabric store.

“The Dandy’s World show launched in the summer of 1990 to mass critical success, in no small part from its winning combination of moral lessons and trivia with a thick helping of childish whimsy. This drove increased interest in the museum, but the character designs simply wouldn’t fit into human-scale mascot costumes. This is where the Toons come into the equation; while they were the main actors of Dandy’s World, the fact that the footage was used to model the animation concealed the existence of the Toons.”

“Delilah strongly opposed the idea of using them as mascots, but Walton, as the CEO of the Gardenview Foundation, overruled her and decided that the Toons would be used as mascots to interact with the public while keeping the magic of the show alive. The period between 1990 and 2002 is known as the Golden Age of Gardenview, as it raked in a hefty profit and Dandy’s World became a worldwide sensation, bringing spirits up after the fear of the Cold War.”

“However, this prosperity would not last forever: Repeated mistakes and defects in merchandise products hurt the profitability of Dandy’s World, and a series of gas leaks on the facility’s lower floors sent the Animation Department into a death spiral. In an attempt to save the Animation Department, Delilah ordered that all of the facility’s natural gas lines be replaced with Ichor pipes, with an Ichor-powered reactor serving all the facility’s needs, in a bid to cut the need for energy bills.”

“This gamble, ultimately, was incredibly costly, as a large problem presented itself: The Ichor pipes were unstable, and prone to springing leaks at critical junctures. Because replacing the pipes after just installing them was too expensive, Delilah opted for a series of Ichor Runoff Negation Reservoir machines to be installed at the sites of repeated leaks. However, by the time they were installed, the Animation Department ran out of money while creating the show’s fourth season. Four episodes had been fully shot, but Arthur opted not to release the fourth season incomplete.”

“By this time, allegations of safety violations managed to close the Gardenview Center in 2002. The Museum Curation Department, unfazed, quickly rectified the safety concerns and reopened soon after, but the Animation Department was still shuttered, closed to the public. It was at this turning point that Delilah and Arthur needed a plan, and they launched the Ichor Extraction Operation; Toons would be sent in the facility’s lower floors to keep the generators up and running, while the Museum Curation Department would funnel all spare resources into keeping the Animation Department afloat. Ever since, the Department has continued in this state, with Dandy’s World on hiatus.”

“Congratulations! You have finished Section 1. We will now move on to the next section.”

A section indicator flashed onscreen.

“Section 2: Corporate Housekeeping: Your Privileges and Amenities at Gardenview”

”As the legal property of the Gardenview Foundation, you are expected to follow these rules and regulations. As Special-Contract Actors, you will be treated with the same policy as Toons, with some minor additions. You will be given a small living space, with a bathroom, shower, and bed. Entertainment must be requested from the provided catalog. Anything not on the catalog must be cleared and vetted by the Animation Department. Furnishings and other items must also be requested. If you are found to be using them dangerously, the Gardenview Foundation has the right to remove any object from your possession. Any movements or social actions taken outside of your rooms must be accompanied by a Handler. Violations of this rule are considered escape attempts. All outbound and inbound communication will be vetted by Gardenview Staff and may be required to be censored or amended accordingly. In any time outside of your room, you will be accompanied by a Handler. If you find yourself alone, DON’T panic: Find the nearest Gardenview staff member and notify them of the situation. DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THEIR SIGHT. Wait until a Handler can pick you up.”

”You are expected to follow the Handlers’ directions without complaint. Any orders from them supersede any and all possible interpersonal obligations or personal whims. If disagreements arise, Handlers are the final word on the assignment of blame and the administration of punishments. All social interactions are subject to the judgement of the Handler of the Toon or Actor in question as well as your own Handler, and they can remove you at any time for any reason. If you are found to be participating in a prohibited behavior that could have been averted had a Handler intervened, the Handler in question will be punished alongside the Actor or Toon. If you see or hear of any violations of these rules, it is your obligation to report it immediately. If you are found to have been in violation of this rule or have taken deliberate delays in reporting, you will be punished alongside all applicable personnel and materiel found liable in the incident. These punishments may include grounding, withheld food provisions, extra responsibilities, restricted social opportunities, medication regimens, or, in extreme incidents, arming of your Handler with a tranquilizer pistol, stun baton, or other similar implement. Your Handlers are your liaisons to the Gardenview Foundation management. They will handle corporate paperwork, requests for recreational items, and will generally be the ones administering punishments, given they are not found liable in the given incident.”

“As Special-Contract Actors, the position of Handler has been given to a group of existing Handlers, specifically the handlers for the main characters of the show: Dandy, Pebble, Astro, Shelly, Sprout, and Vee. Each Handler may take responsibility for any of you, but Handlers have been assigned individually. A list of all Handlers will be shown now.”

Noob… Devan Reed

Two Time… Devan Reed

Shedletsky… Shanon Mendez

Taph… Shanon Mendez

Elliot… Sam McLaughlin

Guest 1337… Sam McLaughlin

Chance… Veronica Hurley

007n7… Veronica Hurley

Dusekkar… Austin Russo

Builderman… Austin Russo

Labelled images of the handlers then appeared onscreen, each with their Toons.

“Congratulations! You have finished Section 2. We will now move on to the next section.”

A section indicator flashed onscreen.

“Section 3: The Pinnacle of Science: What is a Toon, and What are they Made Of?”

“The success of the Gardenview Center Animation Department is dependent on Ichor technology and the labor of Toons both on- and off-stage. As such, you will be regularly working alongside Toons.”

An image of Poppy flashed onscreen. “This is a Toon.”

An image of Pebble replaced her. “This is also a Toon.”

Yatta replaced Pebbles, before being replaced by Rodger, who was replaced by Cosmo.

“These are also Toons.”

”Toons come in all shapes and sizes,” the presenter said as a lineup of all the Toons appeared onscreen.

“This is thanks to the hard work of Delilah Keen, as her breakthroughs in genetics and entertainment technology allow moving, talking mascots that always stay in character without the need for expensive, clunky, and possibly unconvincing animatronic systems while not compromising the underlying character design by turning it into a human-worn costume. Toons single-handedly allowed the show to pursue its lifelike yet whimsical animation style, which played no small part in immersing viewers in the show.”

“Ichor Technology is so complicated and expensive that nobody has ever been able to replicate it, despite the technology not being trademarked due to Arthur and Delilah’s dream of the technology becoming ubiquitous in the entertainment industry. This is partly because it requires a specially-made fuel to work, which is known as Ichor. Only Delilah truly knows how it works and how to make it reliably.”

“The generator that creates the Ichor itself is located deep in the facility, and must pump the Ichor up through the facility’s many levels. At certain points, the Ichor may become blocked in the pipes, and they may burst, spraying certain areas with Ichor. Ichor, in this state, is toxic and possibly deadly to handle without proper protective equipment. Do not attempt to collect it, and only come into contact with stagnant Ichor pools if there is no other traversal option.”

“This is to prevent Twisting, which may include mutation, bodily corrosion, irritability, and the repurposing of vital organs to produce Ichor, all of which can result in grave injury or death, with lifelong impacts such as reduced mental capacity or urges to commit violence against others. Toons that have undergone this process are known as Twisteds. Even if a Toon has not yet undergone the process, there always exists a Twisted version of them, as a result of their creation.”

“It is not understood whether or not Twisted Toons have the memories of their former selves, but observation has found that Ichor Twisting seems to have standardized effects on similar Toons; for example, if a Toon undergoes Ichor Twisting, they will look nearly identical to their existing Twisted counterpart. Both can exist at the same time. Employees are discouraged from forming rivalries or interpersonal disputes with Toons due to the actions of their Twisted counterparts, and they should be treated as two entirely separate entities.”

“Congratulations! You have finished Section 3. We will move on to the next section.”

A section indicator flashed onscreen.

“Section 4: How to Do Your Job: Ichor Extraction for the Common Idiot”

“As Special-Contract Actors, you are expected to be able to perform for the Dandy’s World show when asked, but this is not your only duty. You will also be sent to assist with the Ichor Extraction Operation. This section will tell you what you need to know regarding these duties.”

“Ichor pipes, due to their old age, are prone to blockages. To combat these blockages, scheduled maintenance descents, known colloquially as “runs”, are regularly taken to activate Ichor Runoff Negation reservoirs, and reclaim Ichor. The operation of these machines is simple, to prevent time-consuming maintenance; all you need to do is turn the valve. Occasionally, the vibrations of the machine’s motors will cause the Ichor to settle in the tube. If it is not cleared immediately, a backup motor will kick in and reverse the pressure to blast apart the blockages.”

“This process is quite audible, and can attract unwanted attention. You can, however, resolve the problem before the motor activates, by breaking up the rhythm of the machine’s vibrations by lightly striking the machine in its metal portions. Do not, under any circumstances, strike the glass, as it may compromise the machine’s integrity and cause containment failures that may be sudden and catastrophic.”

“Personnel and materiel are forbidden from handling Ichor outside of the reservoirs. This may sound simple, but it gets complicated fast, as there are many dangers present, chief among them being Twisteds. Twisteds, like Toons, come in all shapes and sizes, many of those sizes being significantly bigger than you. They cannot be befriended or reasoned with, nor can they be fought back with blind physical strength. This leaves only your endurance and your wits as your main weapons.”

“Personnel and materiel are advised to run and/or hide from Twisteds if one is lucky enough to notice their presence before they notice yours. Most Twisteds opt for brutal, close-in physical attacks, but some opt for killing you from a distance. Some may create hazards independent from their own actions, still others opt for using other means to harm your performance, such as obscuring vision, tampering with IRN reservoirs, and inflicting health defects and diseases on your person. If one is attacked by a Twisted, DON’T PANIC. Keep your wits about you; identify potential escape routes, hiding spots, or places where other Twisteds may be lurking. If a Twisted is engaging you, notify other personnel of its status as being engaged in a chase with you, so that other employees can distract it or hide in accordance with their physical status.”

“In the case of being trapped with a Twisted, or a Twisted blocking your only escape, DO NOT RESORT TO A LAST STAND. Attempt to sidestep their attacks and reverse the positions before making an escape. If there is weak, porous, or unsupported material, attempt to escape through it. Run through curtains, crawl under tables or between storage racks, push down bookcases and climb over debris, even jump through glass windows if you have to. If you are having doubts about risking your life undertaking these maneuvers, remember: You miss all of the shots you don’t take, and you fail all the challenges you don’t try. Glass shards stuck in the skin are generally preferable to a sucking chest wound or broken rib.”

“Remember that your first aid or CPR skills will not help you here. Toon biology is different from human biology, and it is incredibly unsafe to handle the wounds of the Toons in your maintenance party without proper medical equipment, such as thick gloves and face masks. Luckily, this has been accounted for; In all of the facility’s first aid kits, gloves, face masks, and Ichor injection shots are included along with the regular medical equipment designed for human use that is typically found in these kits. If things take a turn for the worse, regular bandages or band-aids can serve as rudimentary wound dressings that can be used to stem the flow of Ichor until trained medical help can be administered. These dressings, however, must be self-applied to prevent harm to others from Ichor discharging from the body due to the pressure on the wound. This protocol must be followed carefully to prevent avoidable Twisting events.”

“If you find yourself in the process of Twisting, make your body as unusable as possible. Smash yourself against hard objects to break bones, or attempt to cut yourself with sharp objects to cause blood loss and shut down vital organs. Self-immolation or self-mutilation is the most effective way of neutralizing the process, as it completely destroys all biological systems that may be hijacked by the Ichor during Twisting. Once Twisting has begun, it cannot be reversed or stalled; unless the body is destroyed or gravely wounded, the process will continue to completion. A warning regarding this information: It does not apply to Twisted attacks.”

“If you have been physically wounded from an attack by a Twisted, the black complexion of the blood is not an indication of Ichor poisoning. This is caused by trace amounts of Ichor mixing with blood to create a darker-looking substance. The amount of Ichor that is released in a Twisted attack is not nearly enough to initiate Ichor Twisting on its own; for enough Ichor to be released in order to cause noticeable Twisting effects, there needs to be many strikes upon a focused area of the body. In the unlikely event of this happening, you will have died from blood hemorrhaging or blunt force trauma long before enough Ichor is mixed in with the blood to cause any Twisting.”

“This information should only be applied if, for some reason, Ichor has come into contact with open biological orifices or existing wounds. If Ichor gets on your skin, wipe it off quickly before it can congeal. Clothing will do when in a pinch, but towels, napkins, or other such objects work well. If Ichor gets in your eyes, nose, ears, or mouth, treat the occurrence as if Twisting is already underway.”

“All in all, Ichor is very dangerous. However, it is controllable, and can be accounted for.”

“This quote must always come to mind when you think of Ichor; ‘You need not fear it, but it must command your respect.’”

“Congratulations! You have finished Section 4. We will be moving to the final section momentarily.”

“Section 5: Grander Goals: Why You, Specifically, are Here, Specifically”

The presenter stopped talking, and two people sat down. One wore a rainbow-striped vest and an off-pink undershirt with gray dress pants. A pair of reading glasses sat on his face, and he had visible wrinkles despite having youthful, full-looking hair. The other had a white lab coat with a popped collar and off-colored rainbow-striped pants. The cuffs of the coat were slightly stained, as were the bottoms of her pant legs. A curtain of brown hair fell to her waist, framing her head.

“My name is Mr. Arthur Walton,” the man said.

“And I am Dr. Delilah Keen,” the woman said.

“If you were paying attention, you will have learned that we are the founders of the Gardenview Center,” the man said in a tired, yet softly poetic voice.

“What you just got through was the main instructional track of the tape, with some minor alterations. And don’t worry, you only have a small way to go,” the woman said in a voice so enunciated and energetic that it seemed rather corporate.

“We are here because we want to tell you something that you should take to heart, so listen closely and feel free to dwell on these words,” Arthur said in a caring tone, as if he was about to read a storybook.

“All of you are here for a reason. That should come as no surprise; this entire motivational video wouldn’t have been made if you weren’t going to see it,” Delilah said with flourishes of her hands.

“But you aren’t here from winning some divine lottery. You were chosen to be here, because all of you, yes, ALL of you, have something that makes you special,” Arthur said almost dropping to a whisper.

“What he’s saying is that you have potential. Potential that was locked away in the Spectre’s realm, beaten down until it was unrecognizable.”

“We intend to unlock that potential, let it fly free and be part of our vision to bring joy to the children of the world,” Arthur said in the candor of an activist.

“To Noob, your incorruptible innocence will serve as a beacon of light.”

“To Guest 1337, your undying perseverance inspires others to bravery.”

“To Elliot, your caring persona cuts through the hatred so prevalent in humanity.”

“To Two Time, your uncompromising faith makes others inspired to trust their fellow man as well.”

“To Builderman, your passionate leadership will create many wonders.”

“To Chance, your endless confidence will see you through any danger, passing through any storm as disheveled and giddy as you entered it.”

“To Shedletsky, your penchant for heroism will save others from the brink of death.”

“To Dusekkar, your colorful charm breaks through the clouds, and allows the boundless light of the sun to visit its divinity and grace upon humanity.”

“To Taph, your peerless ingenuity will bring reason to a world of blind pettiness.”

“To 007n7, your willingness to change gilds even the coldest of hearts.”

“The light of a brighter tomorrow will be built on the virtuous foundations you will lay under our guidance and with our wisdom.”

“Now, go forth, and brighten the world, one smile at a time.”

The screen faded to the Gardenview logo, and the tape ended, the technicians walking out of the rooms, leaving the Sinners to rest, for their day was over, and they needed to sleep to take on the hardships of tomorrow.

Notes:

Fun fact: I actually read out the entire chapter, start to finish, to get that figure of a 20-minute length. It’s honestly pretty fun, you should try it if your voice feels particularly resilient.

Anyway, now that you're adequately invested, some housekeeping must be done.

This fic, after this point, is split into 11 episodes, one for each Survivor currently playable in Forsaken, and one to serve as the series finale. Killers will not feature in this fic unless they have lore significance with the survivor the episode focuses on. (ex. 1x1x1x1 only appears in Shedletsky's episode, and Noli and c00lkid only appear in 007n7's episode, etc.) As such, some killers may not feature at all due to lack of lore correlations.

While I try to give all of the Toons and Twisteds a healthy amount of time in the spotlight, the sheer scope of the Dandy's World cast, even with the Event Toons cut out*, makes this a near-impossibility. Forgive me if your favorite Toon or Twisted doesn't appear as much as you would like them to.

This fic will only update if an episode is done or close to done. After an episode is posted, each subsequent chapter will be posted in roughly 3-day increments until the episode is finished.**

*Event Twisteds are still fair game.
**This policy has been CHANGED. I will now release chapters as they are completed, and once I am reasonably sure they’ll stay that way. However, I will at least try to stay in the 3-day schedule. This is to prevent future month-long waits between episodes, as is what happened with 007n7’s episode.

Chapter 4: Brightney's Book Club and Noob in...Soda Scramble! Part 1: The Taste of Defeat

Summary:

Noob, after being called fat by Shrimpo, falls into a depressive spiral and comes to their friends for help. This quickly descends into their participation in an experimental team-building exercise after a series of emotional overreactions.

Noob sat down. It had been a very exhausting run, and all they wanted was to just hang back with a Bloxy Cola while watching TV in the common room. The tab snapped open with a crunchy fizz-CRACK sound, one of the many joys of carbonated beverages. Noob took a preliminary sip to lap up the cola sprayed about from the pressure difference, and the fizzy drink crackled and popped on their tongue. They sat back, and upturned the can, taking three swigs of the sweet, sugary drink before stopping, returning the can to its normal, upright position.

As they began to drink once more, a loud “UGH!” startled them, causing them to spill a bit of Cola on their tank top. They turned to see a Toon they had never seen before. He had a look of anger on his face, poking out from some…shrimp? Given the designs of the other Toons, Noob, along with the other Sinners, had learned not to question it by this point. He also had a red shirt and orange pants to complement the pink complexion of the rest of his body.
“I HATE BLOXY COLA!” He shouted.
“Well, you’re entitled to your opinion. J-Just don’t yell at me,” Noob said softly.
“NO! I’M RIGHT AND YOU’RE WRONG, BLOXY COLA SUCKS!” He shouted.
“T-That’s fine, but just don’t use it to ruin other people’s fun,” Noob said.
“I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO DE-ESCALATE!” He shouted. This was getting rather old for Noob.
“Well, people don’t usually like getting hurt in fistfights,” Noob said.
“I HATE WHEN PEOPLE REFUSE TO HEED THEIR PRIMAL INSTINCTS AND DENY MAN’S AFFINITY FOR CONFLICT!” He shouted eloquently.
“I just wanna have a drink and take a break in peace. Is that so much to ask?”
“YES! I HATE TAKING BREAKS! IF IT WERE UP TO ME, WE’D BE SPENDING ALL OUR TIME ON THE LOWER FLOORS!” He shouted.
“Okay, so you’re just an idiot. Got it.”
“I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME DUMB!”
Noob, meanwhile, was taking a sip of Bloxy Cola, entirely unbothered.
“I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN TO ME!”
Noob set down the Bloxy Cola to grab the remote, and Shrimpo immediately grabbed it, downing the whole can.
“H-Hey! That was mine!” Noob protested.
“YOU NEED TO LEARN TO SHARE!” Shrimpo yelled, throwing the can to the ground.
“But that Bloxy Cola was mine! I bought it, so I could drink it, because I like it!”
“YOU BOUGHT THAT WHOLE CAN FOR YOURSELF?! GREEDY PIG!” Shrimpo shouted, walking away, leaving Noob standing there, dumbfounded.
“Pig..?” Noob whispered.
Defeated, Noob crashed onto the couch. The voices of the others and the TV’s audio descended into meaningless noise as they looked at their Slateskin Potion. Their grip tightened, as the word “Pig” rattled through their mind.

3 Hours Later…

Noob closed the door behind them. Shrimpo’s words kept drifting through their mind, running rampant. They stumbled into the bathroom, and leaned over the sink, hands firmly planted on the sides of the basin. They catalogued every detail. They tried to smile, but all they could focus on was the wrinkles. On the sides of their nose, there were wrinkles as well. Half of their hair was shaved, shorn off in a fit of independence. They didn’t remember why, but it stuck, and just became part of their look, as was the case with their blue tank-top. They fluffed up their hair, a long strip over the top of her head, like the plume of a spartan helmet. All it did was make them look disheveled. They glimpsed bags below their eyes; dark spots only charming with an equally pathetic grin. They swore they could see a food smudge on the side of their mouth, but it disappeared upon further inspection.

They turned, looking at their side profile, puffing up their belly subconsciously. “Pig,” Shrimpo said in their mind. They got on the bathroom scale. 145 pounds. That was all the proof they needed. “You look ridiculous,” someone said. They rode up their tank top. Their belly sagged. They quickly pulled the tank top back down. They stared into the mirror. They couldn’t bring themselves to dramatically punch it in shame, like all the movies and video games. This was who they were, are, and always would be: A sad, disheveled wreck whose only hobby was stuffing themselves full of food. They left the bathroom.

Absent-mindedly, they popped open a Bloxy Cola. They made sure not to make too much noise, covering it with their body to mitigate some of the sound. “Your belly’s certainly big enough for it,” Noob thought to themselves. They turned up the can and began to drink, gagging on the carbonation. They almost wished they would choke.

Noob didn’t sleep that night. They had spent all that time rotting in their bed, empty Bloxy Cola cans sitting around them. Their alarm clock sounded; they lazily slapped it off. Three knocks at the door.
Devan Reed called for Noob. “Noob, you in there?”
“G-Go away,” Noob snapped back at him.
“I’m coming in!” Reed warned Noob.
“No! Do NOT come in!” Noob protested as Reed unlocked the door.
“Alright, let’s get you up,” Reed said as Noob threw Bloxy Cola cans at him. Reed grabbed Noob’s ankles and yanked hard, causing Noob to let out a yelp of surprise as they were pulled out of bed. They kicked and thrashed, and Reed muttered, “Christ, not even Pebble was this grouchy,” as Noob was pulled out of bed. Eventually, Reed won the tug-of-war, and got Noob on their feet, patting them on the shoulder and saying in a fatherly tone, “Come on. It’s a brand new day. Let’s get up and take it on.” The moment Reed let go and began to leave, Noob threw themselves back on the bed, cans clattering about.

Reed chuckled, and turned on his heel, grabbing Noob and getting them out of bed once more.
“Oh, you,” he said in a playful tone as he grabbed Noob by the arms and carried them all the way out of the room, closing and locking the door behind the two of them.
“Alright,” he said as he hoisted Noob back on their feet. “You promise me that you’ll walk when I let go of you?” he asked.
Noob glared at him.
“Jeez, you remind me of Sam,” Reed remarked.
Noob got to their feet, and Devan let go. They grabbed the door handle, and Reed chided them,
“Ahp-ahp-ahp! Wait! You can go back to your room after lunch. You’ve just been sitting there crying all night. Let’s break those legs back in, eh?”
Noob stared at them.
“…fine.”
Devan Reed threw up his hands in jubilation.
“Words! We’ve got words! Yay!” he celebrated, before grabbing Noob’s hand and leading them along.

They walked down to the common area, and Elliot was standing alone in the kitchen, making pancakes. Chance was playing foosball with Veronica, Vee standing between them displaying the score. Dusekkar was reading a book while suspended in the air, Astro sitting against the balcony beside them while reading another book. Shelly was asking Tisha for her feather duster, as she had lost her own brush. 007n7 was lazily flipping through channels, while Rodger kept pestering him, asking how his clones worked. Flutter, Pebble, and Taph were busy…“talking.” Taph doubled over, miming laughter.

Devan Reed walked over to the foosball table, and said, “Hey, just so you know, Noob had a bit of a rough night. Be extra careful with them.” The other Handlers nodded in agreement, and Chance asked, “Completely fine if you don’t want to answer, but what’s wrong?”
Devan said, “Well, they were—“
Chance stopped them. “Not you. I wanna hear it from Noob.”
Devan sputtered, and Chance gave them a silent look as Noob explained.
“W-Well, I was just sitting there, having my Bloxy Cola, w-when all of a sudden Shrimpo comes up, says he hates it, then downs the whole can, t-then calls me a greedy pig when I w-wanted it back! And the worst part is…He has a point! I am a greedy pig!” The handlers and Chance stared at Noob a bit.
“…that’s it? That’s why you didn’t wanna get out of bed?” Reed asked.
Noob nodded, and Reed doubled over, bursting into laughter. The others sheepishly joined in, and Chance left in disgust. Shanon Mendez yelled, “Chance! Come on back, we still got a game going!”
“You win,” Chance acidly conceded. “I’ve got bigger fish to shoot,” he said as he followed Noob. Austin Russo congratulated Veronica, and excitedly pushed the small pot of bets towards her. Veronica declined; the coins felt dirty.

Noob went to 007n7 and explained the situation. 007n7 said, “Well, that’s a shame. Kids are rough sometimes. Want a shoulder to lean on?”
Rodger said, “Well, the case is closed. That was just Shrimpo.”
“Case closed, not problem solved,” 007n7 replied.
“What’s the difference?” Rodger asked.
007n7 facepalmed, and Noob walked away.

Noob then went to Elliot, who was cooking pancakes with Cosmo. They explained the situation, and Elliot responded, “Oh, that’s not good. You want something from the fridge?”
“…were you even listening to me?” Noob asked.
“Yes, I know you think you’re fat, but a full belly can give you a different perspective.” Cosmo, after finding nothing in the refrigerator, asked, “You want a piece of me?”
Elliot looked at him oddly. “I don’t know how a fight’s gonna-AAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” He yelled bewilderedly, as Cosmo had torn off a piece of his head and was offering it to Noob. Noob, disgusted, walked away.
Cosmo reattached the slice to his head, and Elliot whispered, “You can just…do that?”
“Yup!” Cosmo said with a smile. “Good pick-me-up after a Twisted attack!”
Elliot looked down at his hands, supremely thankful that his healing wasn’t predicated on self-sacrificial cannibalism.

Next, Noob went to Builderman, who was sitting in a corner with Goob and Scraps, who were taking apart his Dispenser and marveling at its inner workings. Noob explained the situation, and Builderman said, “Well, let’s take it up with HR. I’ll get to filing a complaint.”
“HR? Don’t you want to do something now?”
“We aren’t running from the Spectre’s killers. We’re not in Kansas anymore, kid. We better act like it.”
“Given my…well…everything, I don’t think they’ll respond.”
“Well, either way, I’ll still get to filing a complaint once these two are done playing mechanic.”
Noob, unsatisfied, went elsewhere.

After Builderman, Noob went to Guest 1337, who was teaching Sprout how to block effectively. Noob explained the situation, and Guest 1337 immediately threw down the boxing gloves, and started walking.
“Where’s Shrimpo’s room?” He asked Sprout, absolutely livid. Sprout got between the Guest and the stairwell, saying, “Hey, hey, hey! Don’t hurt him!”
Guest looked at Shrimpo. “He hurt Noob. What am I supposed to do?”
“If you hurt any Toon, you’ll have me to deal with!” Sprout said heroically.
Guest and Sprout stared at each other for a few seconds. Noob, not wanting to get caught up in a fight, left.
Guest put a hand on Sprout’s shoulder.
“I think I’m starting to like you, kid. You’ve got guts.”

Next, Noob went to Shedletsky, who was reading a storybook to Toodles. Noob tapped Shedletsky on his shoulder, and he stopped reading. Noob explained the situation, and Shedletsky said, “You’re just about the skinniest person I know besides maybe Two Time, and they fast every other week. Shrimpo does NOT know what he’s talking about.”
“Yeah, but the bathroom scale—“
“Who cares about the bathroom scale?! Are you gonna let your life be determined by numbers on a screen? Only spineless cowards let anyone but themselves control their life, and from what I’ve seen, you are not a spineless coward.”
Noob, feeling patronized, left.
Shedletsky shrugged in confusion, going back to describing an appointed government official breaking into someone’s house to steal valuables, and Toodles was once again enraptured. She’d heard the story a million times, but she always liked the part where the knight snuck into the dragon’s den.

Noob went to Two Time. They opened the door to the cultist’s room, and they saw Two Time kneeling in the middle of a ritual circle, paper filled with religious scrawl strewn over every available surface. Two Time’s gaze bored into Noob, and Noob closed the door, leaving the cultist to their rituals.

Noob, desperate, went to Dusekkar for help. The mage floated over, and rhymed, “If greed is from which you seek refuge, then take comfort, for excess eludes you.”
Astro looked at Dusekkar, and said, “I don’t think that was the message you wanted to send.”
“If the words from my mouth don’t seem right, then forgive me, the curse takes their light. For in rhyming expressions, there may be transgressions, so look deeper if you see a slight.”
“Why can’t you speak normally?”
Dusekkar looked at Astro. Though the wizard’s carved face didn’t change, Astro got the idea.
“What part of ‘can only speak in rhymes’ do you not get?” Noob asked indignantly.
“I didn’t mean anything by it, but Dusekkar should choose his words more carefully. That’s all.”
“The point of a mouth is to speak; to relinquish that privilege is weak. The curse forces whimsy, so small bits of chiding do little to divert the creek.”
“Good for you, Dusekkar,” Astro said, going back to his book.
Noob and Dusekkar exchanged a look.
“If it’s esteem’s embrace that you seek, then visit the hermit and speak. A reply won’t be certain, but the venture is worth it, for ‘wisened’ begins with a ‘wise’.”
Noob waved, and walked away.

Finally, Noob went to Taph. When they explained the situation, Taph pulled out a sub space charge, giving Noob a subservient, affirmative look. Noob shook their head, and Taph shrugged, nodded, and placed the subspace charge back in his pocket. Flutter chirped, then shook their head.
“No use,” Taph relayed via signs. “S-H-R-I-M-P-O never retreats/backs down/lets up.”
“S-Surely he’ll listen to reason,” Noob said.
Flutter chirped again, and Taph relayed, “Are you sure/certain/correct?”
“Yes. I just wanna do something about this. I’ve been receiving half-answers all day.”
Flutter let out a long string of chirps, and Taph relayed, “Good luck. That bully/aggressor/adversary doesn’t listen/comprehend. Trying to get him to say ‘I’m sorry/at fault’ is a fool’s/idiot’s/stupid man’s errand/grocery run/endeavor.”
Taph, once done with Flutter’s message, signed a message of his own. “I am asking again, do you need help dealing with him if he gets into another incident with you? I could board up his room. Place tripwires…possibly tripMINES. Ah, the options are endless…”
“Ah, never mind,” Noob said before walking away.

Noob, entirely out of options, sat against the wall. They knew their comrades meant well, but Noob didn’t really believe their teammates cared. And why would they? Noob was the “skittish, innocent one.” The only things they were good at were running and hiding (and definitely eating) but even then, the others had them beat in those respects.
They never really needed healing, either; they could survive well enough on their own. They, in other words, were always fine. So when they suddenly weren’t, nobody knew what to do. Noob’s head hung low beneath the metaphorical weight of this dooming perceptual development.
“Want a Poppy Pop?” someone asked.
“Come to give me more meaningless words?” Noob asked.
“No, silly! I’m here to give you soda. Helps me when I’m feeling down.”
Noob looked up, and saw Poppy, holding two bottles of soda. They shrugged, and patted a spot next to them, if only to get the soda. Poppy plopped down next to them, and handed them one of the bottles. It was styled like one of those newer Bloxy Cola 2-liter bottles, except much smaller. They broke the seal, and twisted off the cap.

Notes:

WARNING! READ THIS BEFORE CONTINUING!

The following parts of Episode 4 are full of mischaracterizations and errors on the parts of the Dandy’s World cast, as I wrote everything before Episode 5 (007n7’s episode) while not having played Dandy’s World. I am intending on remastering the episode once I’ve gotten everything else out, but if you want some more accurate work, skip to the next episode. Once I do end up revising the episode, this original version will be moved somewhere else for archival purposes, as while it does not fit its actual characters at ALL, it is still a fun and compelling story that I liked writing.

Chapter 5: Episode 1, Part 2: The Book Club

Summary:

Poppy drags Noob to Brightney's book club in order to get them out of their depressive funk. As it turns out, the club is experiencing some problems of its own.

It tasted like the exact middle ground between Bloxy Cola and Witches’ Brew.
“Good, isn’t it?” Poppy asked.
Noob nodded silently.
“That tastes…new. Certainly bitter at first, but it gets sweet after. That’s definitely a nice change of pace from Bloxy Cola.”
“Glad you like it! Why not have more?”
Noob put it down. “Thanks for the soda, but I’m pacing it right now.”
“Why?” Poppy asked.
“I spent the whole night crying because Shrimpo said I’m a greedy pig.”
“Shrimpo is a jerk,” Poppy said.
“You got that right,” Noob said, “But they are kinda right.”
“With Shrimpo, it doesn’t matter if he’s right or wrong. He just wants to ruin people’s day. We’ve all learned to ignore him,” Poppy advised.
“Doesn’t change the face that I’m fat,” Noob said.
“And is that a bad thing?” Poppy asked.
“Ye-”
“No! It’s completely fine! Even Dandy’s a bit on the wider side, but that doesn’t make him lesser than us,” Poppy said.
“Yes, but being fat isn’t conducive to running very fast.”
“Dandy can move as fast as any of us.”
“You run out of breath faster, and you get heart problems, and—” Poppy put a hand on Noob’s mouth, silencing them.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t have nice things. We get plenty of exercise from runs. Besides, you’re pretty skinny anyway.”
“Th-Thanks,” Noob said.
Poppy motioned to the drink, and Noob took another swig. Poppy got up, and said,
“Well, we can’t just sit here all day. Come on, I’ve got some people I want you to meet.” Noob got up, and Poppy motioned for them to follow her.

Poppy led Noob to a more secluded part of the common area, to a group of other Toons who were sitting around a table playing some family-friendly card game. The table’s occupants glanced up at Noob with various levels of mirth.
Moving clockwise, there was a colorful piñata-esque creature with a set of fangs dopily sticking out of their smiling mouth. Yatta waved at Noob, patting an empty chair and saying, “Come on! Join in!”
The next was Astro, looking up at them silently. The cards floated before him, his hands thoroughly preoccupied with keeping the blanket up to chest-height. A closed book sat next to him.
“Yeah, we’re always taking drop-ins,” he said. “…perhaps to our detriment,” he muttered.
After him, there was a Toon that wore a leather-brown suspender skirt and a beige undershirt, with a bandana around her neck, tight beneath the massive, coiling ammonite fossil that served as her head.
“What he said. Diversity is the essence of evolution, after all,” Shelly said.
Next to her, there sat a weirdly-designed Toon, with a tissue box for a head and a maid dress. She idly cleaned her corner of the table, humming a tune. This was, presumably, Tisha. She said nothing, only eyeing up Noob.
Next to her, there was another Toon, this time with a slightly more coherent design. (Only slightly, though.) They had two masks attached to ribbons which served as their heads: One was lighter, and had a smile, while the other was darker, and had a frown. The happier one, however, was on the verge of dozing off. The ribbons that served as their necks were tangled around each other in a massive knot, forming the unhealthiest scarf ever devised by (assumedly) human hands.
“Dazzle,” the tragedy mask said. “He’s Razzle,” Dazzle said, motioning to the comedy mask.
“Welcome in, I guess,” Dazzle continued, after an affirmative nod by Razzle before they dozed off for good.
Next to Razzle and Dazzle, another Toon was sitting down. Her head was a massive teacup, filled to just the point where it wouldn’t spill in normal circumstances but still appeared full. She wore a feather boa and an expensive, glittery dress. A glittering, bespoke purse sat next to her. She almost reminded Noob of Chance, with her expensive attire. Teagan nodded courteously at Noob, and returned to the game.
Beside Teagan, Brightney was sitting down, not playing, with a sour look on her face. Upon seeing Noob, Brightney quickly changed her demeanor, sitting back up and shining brightly. “Oh, a new member! Hello, hello! Welcome to…er…my book club!” She said, with a pause. “Though we haven’t been reading all that much lately, thanks to the members attracted by the silver tongue of a certain mirror I can’t quite put my finger on…” she said almost disdainfully.
Against the wall, a more mysterious Toon was standing there, surveying the proceedings. He had a green apron with a pink-and-white scarf, with a strawberry for a head. Despite this whimsical (and rather well-put-together) outfit, he looked entirely serious. It seemed Guest 1337 had rubbed off on him. Sprout waved at Noob.
In a chair to the side, Sam McLaughlin, Sprout’s (and now Guest 1337 and Elliot’s) Handler, was sitting there, reading a book of her own, the same as the one Astro had sitting next to them, serving as the chaperone for the eleven of them. Poppy sat in an empty chair next to Brightney, while Noob sat next to Yatta.
“No drinks allowed at book club, though,” Brightney remembered, pointing at Noob.
“Oh, lay off it. Noob’s had a hard morning,” Poppy replied, being dealt in.
“The run was yesterday, wasn’t it?” Shelly asked.
“It was Shrimpo,” Astro explained, to a chorus of knowing “ahh”s from the table. “By the way, did Tape, or Tofu, or whoever it was Dusekkar told you about, did he give any help?”
Noob shook their head.
“What’d he do this time?” Yatta asked.
“Stole my drink,” Noob said.
“Called them a pig,” Astro said at the same time.
“Hurt their feelings,” Poppy said.
“Psh! That’s—” Tisha began to say, before Poppy gave her a death glare.
“—Horrible! Someone should do something about that!” Tisha finished sheepishly.
“We already told Corporate. It isn’t instant, but it’s something,” Sam said.
“Now watch as they do absolutely nothing,” Sprout said.
“What was that?” Sam said.
“Nothing,” Sprout reiterated.
“Well, what do we do, then?” Brightney asked.
“There’s this quote I heard somewhere, something along the lines of ‘The best revenge is a good life’. That might be a start,” Shelly said.
“Good idea!” Brightney said, wanting more than anything to distract herself from the fact that the book club she made was being used to play UNO clones.
Yatta got up on her chair, and declared, “From now, until Noob is happy again, this club is officially the Noob Appreciation Society!” before planting a foot on the table.
“Get down from there, Yatta! You might—” Sprout warned, as Yatta’s footing grew uncertain, and the chair slid out from beneath her. Luckily, she managed to land with a clean handstand.
“—fall,” Sprout finished. He sighed as Tisha moved towards Yatta to dust her off. “You’ve gotta be less reckless with your gymnastics. One of these days, you aren’t gonna stick the landing.”
“And when that happens, we’ll be there to have candy afterwards!” Poppy said, to glares from the rest of the group, Noob included. With this burst of importance, Noob said, “That’s very nice of you and all, but I don’t really like being the center of attention. Where I’m from, it’s a very bad place to be.”
“Nonsense! I’m never in the spotlight and I absolutely hate it!” Shelly vented.
Teagan measuredly shook her head, and said, “That’s because you always try to take it, darling. In Noob’s case, their prominence is understandable.”
“Not everything’s about you, Shelly,” Yatta said.
“Says Yatta,” Sprout said
“Okay, let’s stop dogpiling Shelly for a few seconds and actually focus,” Noob said. Everyone turned, and Noob continued, “I don’t want this club to be dedicated to feeding my ego at all times. How about just renaming it to the Friendship Society?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed. Pretty much nobody actually uses it as a book club anymore,” another Toon said.
“Thank you! Exactly what I wanted to—GLISTEN?!”
And thus, there Glisten was, arms crossed with a pink bow tied at his chest, pink-speckled leg-warmers, and a smirk sitting on a face with enough makeup to kill someone by smoke inhalation.
“Of all the people I expected to actually say that, Glisten was about the last on my list,” Shelly said.
“You wound me, Shells,” Glisten said.
“Don’t you use that name! Only Mendez is allowed to do that!” Sprout said.
“Names aside, WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN THESE LAST TWO MEETINGS?!” Brightney accusatorily yelled at Glisten, pointing at him. Glisten was about to answer, before Noob butted in.
“STOP! ALL OF YOU! Can you not be at each other’s throats for five seconds?!” they pleaded.
Exactly five seconds passed before the scene once again descended into cacophony. Teagan gave everyone else a wide berth, not wanting to get cracked. Brightney was right up in Glisten’s face, chewing him out about the reading for the last three weeks, while Glisten tried to defend himself, citing show biz and other bald-faced lies. Sam was flagging down other Toon Handlers to help, while Sprout tried to separate the two. Noob, through all of this, simply watched, Poppy Pop still in hand. What they felt was not anger, from seeing their requests for peace be ignored, or fear for being caught in the crossfire, but a distinct sense…of numbness. They took a swig, clenched their fist, and fell into the velvet embrace of entropy.

Ten minutes later, they were all in detention.
Brightney sat idly trying to fix their lampshade, after it had been knocked askew by a thrown book.
Glisten was trying to ask the Handlers to go to the bathroom to wash off their now-ruined makeup. Hairline cracks spread from the top of their mirror, from a headbutt.
Shelly was being cared for by Shanon Mendez, who was trying to stem the bleeding from Shelly’s head. Shelly winced as Mendez administered an Ichor shot.
Yatta stood next to her, patiently waiting for her turn to get patched up, as candy dribbled out of a series of punctures and gashes all around her upper body, which had also been splashed with tea.
Poppy was trying to fix her bow, as Poppy Pop had been spilled all over it.
Sprout was trying to fix his scarf and be discharged early, citing that he needed to be free to film with Cosmo later that day.
Razzle & Dazzle sat there, glaring at one another.
Teagan and Tisha sat next to each other, idly chatting about nothing in particular, for there were few things that were interesting about a gray, industrial detention room. A set of tea-stained tissues were stuffed into a nearby trash can.
Noob, meanwhile, was simply sitting there.
Their Ghostburger and Slateskin Potion had both been confiscated, and were sitting next to Devan Reed, who was watching over everyone else.
He walked over to Noob, and said, “Not exactly off to a good start, are we, Noob?”
“That tends to happen when you get crushed by evil flowers and get chased down by messed-up children’s cartoons,” Noob excused.
“But starting a fistfight? Wow. I didn’t think someone like you could be this difficult,” Devan said in that infuriating, patronizing, corporate tone.
He patted Noob on the shoulder a couple times, and walked to the front of the room. He clapped twice to get everyone’s attention, and everyone snapped to face him.
“SO!” He said, pulling out a thin baton as a projector screen descended behind him.
“Corporate got back to us, and they’ve decided on an appropriate punishment. Ordinarily, we’d all send you back to the Handlers for one-on-one counseling, but due to Noob’s presence in the incident, Corporate has issued a different, more experimental punishment: You’ll all be sent on a run, as a team-building exercise. Every Toon in this room, as well as Noob, is going.”
Noob realized something. “Wait…where’s Shrimpo? He started this mess!”
Devan Reed looked at them bewilderedly, and after a short pause, he asked, “What the hell does Shrimpo have to do with any of this?”
Noob took a deep breath before launching into a thick, heady tirade. “Well, first, he calls me a greedy pig, which causes me to not get ANY sleep for the WHOLE NIGHT, then all the Survivors give me non-answers and cheap words, so then Poppy leads me to the book club to take my mind off it, and the whole argument was about whether or not the club becomes the Noob Ego-Stroking Club or whatever it was. So yes, Shrimpo DID play a role,” Noob finished, crossing their arms, as they had stood up halfway through.
Devan Reed paused, before sighing.
“Shrimpo has not been found liable in the incident, and that’s the end of it. Any more of your lip, and you’ll be going down solo,” Reed said, having moved right up in Noob’s face, pressing a finger to their chest. Noob, not wanting to test him, said nothing to their defense as Reed went back up to the projector.
“You will be going down to Floor 17, Dandy’s Ol’ Diner. Five machines are down there. If you get wiped, we’ll just send you down again and again until you get it. And even if you do get it, if you’re still being adversarial to each other, we’ll send you down to another floor until you’re thick as thieves. Understand?” Reed asked rhetorically.
The Toons nodded, and Reed shut off the projector, muttering, “Why the hell did Corporate give us a tape if it’s only two damn slides?”
“You leave in 5 minutes,” Sam McLaughlin said, before getting back to guarding the door.
“Shelly’s still pretty banged up, though,” Shanon Mendez protested.
“That’s too damn bad. She’ll get a new body if she dies, that’s how this whole thing works,” Devan Reed said, packing up the projector and grabbing Noob’s stuff.
“But she’s—”
“Work quicker, then! Corporate isn’t budging, and the elevator isn’t waiting!” Devan said, as Shanon returned to her work.
Eventually, they were led out of the room, and marched towards the elevator. As Noob got in, Devan Reed handed Noob a backpack filled with their items. “Good luck, kid. You’ll need it,” Devan Reed said with a smile on his face as the door slammed down between them with a deafening
KA-CHUNK!

Chapter 6: Episode 1, Part 3: Book Club, Chain Gang

Summary:

Brightney's book club is sent down into Floor 17 as a team-building exercise. Evidently, they have much to learn.

RUN I: Flatline

The gears spun to life with a horrible screech, and the twelve of them, including Dandy under the hatch, were left alone in the elevator.
“And there it goes,” Brightney said. “To think, this is all because of your slacking,” Brightney said, turning to Glisten.
“My slacking? MY slacking?! You were the one who tried to throw a book at me!” Glisten said, offended.
“Neither of you are at fault. If anything, the fault lies with you, Ish-I mean, Noob,” Shelly said.
“It wasn’t them! They were just there! [If you hate it so much, blame Yatta or Poppy,]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
Yatta sputtered in bewilderment as Poppy said,
“No, that was firmly Noob.”
“Well, Shelly seemed pretty enthusiastic with that headbutt,” Noob deflected.
“You can say that again. Like beating me with a rock…” Glisten said, massaging his fracture.
“It WAS beating you with a rock!” Brightney said.
“Specifically, I headbutted you with a 137-million-year-old ammonite specimen,” Shelly noted.
“Is NOBODY going to point out the fact that Sprout made Teagan splash everyone?!” Poppy asked.
“I didn’t mean to do it, Yatta kicked me for literally no reason! If anything, she’s to blame for Teagan splashing everyone,” Sprout said.
“Hey, don’t blame me! It was the heat of the moment, nothing else!” Yatta said as she practiced her footwork, bouncing up and down like a boxer.
“Whatever. It’s Noob’s fault we’re all down here,” Glisten said. “Were it not for them, we’d be safe, up in our rooms, getting counseling instead of being in a chain gang,” he griped.
“That wasn’t Noob’s choice to make, lay off him!” Tisha said.
“By God, can anyone take the blame around here?!” Noob asked.
”We’re still thinking about it!” Brightney replied.
”Well, you can think to yourself! Right now, we’ve got a job to do!” Noob said, as the elevator screeched to a stop.

The elevator opened with a chime, and its twelve occupants (minus Dandy, of course) stepped out. Noob, eager to get away from these clowns, moved to the right. Brightney, Astro, Razzle & Dazzle, and Shelly all went to the left. Tisha, Teagan, Poppy, Sprout, and Yatta all went down the middle, while Glisten went after Noob, not wanting to be anywhere near Brightney, Shelly, or Sprout.

Brightney, Astro, Razzle & Dazzle, and Shelly came upon the western kitchen area. It had fallen into extreme disrepair; Ichor was stained absolutely everywhere. It was bubbling out of the sinks, stained orange in the deep fryers, caked on the counters and stovetops. Propane tanks were everywhere; stored under the counters, sitting in the corners. A group of them were hooked up to a gas line, the only one left in the building after Delilah’s gambit. It ran around the floor, and also served the other kitchen area on the diner’s northeastern side. An Ichor machine sat near the storeroom, where something was rummaging around inside. As Shelly went to do the machine, Brightney looked in her reflection, wiping off a layer of dust from one of the countertops. She looked at Razzle & Dazzle and Astro.
“Go find meds for Shelly. Make yourselves useful,” she ordered them.
“I’m fine, really,” Shelly said, calling them off.
“That headbutt was pretty nasty, no matter how much I liked to see it,” Brightney said.
“Why did you like to see it? [Is it because we’re all monsters deep down?]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
“That seriously hurt both of them. That isn’t a good thing,” Astro said.
“I know, but…when Glisten got knocked down, crying that his precious makeup that ‘he’ spent hours putting on, I wanted to laugh. I wanted to say so, so many things to him. Because the truth is, that freak had it coming.”
Silence stood supreme for the few seconds that followed.
“You don’t just say that. Glisten may have his faults, yes, but he’s still a Toon, and we should treat him with respect.”
“Glisten didn’t deserve to get headbutted. [The fact that you liked seeing him in pain says wonders,]” Razzle and Dazzle said in sequence.
“What does he deserve, then? He’s been ruining my book club and turning it into a card-games club, because he’s a shallow, facetious attention-seeker that hides behind his stupid teleportation mirrors and can’t admit when something is his fault! I hate him! I hate his stupid makeup and his stupid bow and his stupid legwarmers!” Brightney ranted.
“You can think it all you want, but don’t say it,” Astro moralized.
Brightney, already on a hot streak, whirled around to face him. “Or what? He’ll wag ‘his’ fingers at me? Tell Mendez?! I don’t care what he thinks; he has no respect for the book club!”
“And that’s your main metric for how he should be treated? [Not everything revolves around you, you know,]” Razzle and Dazzle said in sequence.
“HE joined the book club! If he doesn’t want to go to the meetings, then he should save me the trouble and leave already! Maybe he can throw himself off the roof, while he’s at it; it’d certainly do us all a favor,” Brightney domineered.
The other Toons stood around silently, not wanting to provoke Brightney’s ire, who sourly motioned for them to follow her out of the kitchen, to the next generator.

Yatta, Sprout, Teagan, Tisha, and Poppy walked along the main restaurant, booths on all sides. All around, there were discarded meals, menus strewn next to the booths. It was as if they were walking through a place where time had simply stopped, the humans not there in physicality, but leaving their presence in spirit. Everything was coated in a thin film of dust, with thick gashes, trenches of unknowable memories cleaving through the past, torn into the informal firmament by hands and bodies and blood. Drinks had been toppled over, the various liquids inside having long since dripped out, sharing tables with meals, once half-eaten, now little more than crumbs, with Ichor stains on the plates that were still intact. There were some tables where tall, roiling glasses of Ichor were laying discarded, a constant reminder of the Toons’ enduring presence in the facility, and an emblem to the two’s inseparability.
Ragged breaths echoed from around the corner, and the party stopped. “R-and-D over here,” Poppy said in shorthand, looking around the corner to find a Machine at the other side of the passage that Twisted Razzle & Twisted Dazzle were blocking.
“Stand back, everyone, and watch as Yatta the Acrobat seems to fly through the air!” Yatta said, before executing a complicated somersault through the theoretical blockade.
True to her word, she arrived on the other side, but Twisted Razzle & Twisted Dazzle were woken from their rest, to the clanking of chains.
Tisha yelled, “Move, I’ll brush you along!” as the four of them ran through Twisted Razzle & Twisted Dazzle’s domain, being accosted by numerous tendrils and ribbons as the two masks began to scream. The four of them managed to get through the zone, though. As soon as the problem had arisen, though, it had subsided, as the two masks returned to their kettlebell-enforced rest. “Help us, please… [Nobody’s coming.]” Twisted Razzle and Twisted Dazzle pleaded and discouraged in sequence.
All of them, save for Yatta, had been wounded when moving through the hazard. Teagan took a sip from her teacup, and Sprout said, “Don’t go sprinting forward like that,” as he healed Tisha.
He looked down at a wound on his leg, and griped, “Where’s Cosmo when you need him?”
“I can always get a medkit for you,” Poppy offered.
“No need. I’m fine,” Sprout said.
”That wound on your leg looks pretty nasty, Sprout. I’m gonna go find some Dand-Aids while Teagan works the Machine,” Yatta said before bounding off.
“I said I’m fine! I don’t need Dand-Aids!” Sprout said more forcefully.
“Think of it as helping a friend in need,” Poppy said as Tisha moved to dust off Sprout.
Sprout, annoyed at this sudden intrusion, pushed Tisha away, and shouted, “I said I’m fine! Everyone stop dogpiling me and do your own thing!”
Poppy said, “Hey! Don’t push other people! Tell Tisha you’re sorry!”
“Am I sorry for having boundaries and reacting when someone violates them? I said, multiple times, that I don’t need help, and yet all of you are still telling me to hold still so you can patch me up, when I don’t need healing!” Sprout ranted.
“Just take the healing, darling. There’ll be a time when you do need it, and nothing will be coming,” Teagan warned.
“Says the woman who can heal herself. How is it up there in the ivory tower?” Sprout snapped.
“Alright, let’s just stop fighting for a few seconds! We can talk about this later!” Poppy said, getting between everyone else and Sprout.
Sprout scoffed, and said sourly, “I’m going to get some supplies. Don’t expect me to be back anytime soon.”
And, true to his word, he ran off, disappearing into the shadows.

Noob slowed down, nearly out of stamina. They entered a large members-only area, which had a more formal feel than the main restaurant’s atmosphere. It was a large, open dining hall with smooth jazz music cutting in and out of a set of speakers on the walls. Tables were placed nearly everywhere, some toppled over with Ichor stains on them, others smashed to pieces. In the corner of the room, there was a curtain concealing a Generator, to keep the feel of the place and to protect it from tipsy guests, generously sourced by the bar on the room’s other side. It held a wide variety of drinks, with a wide array of serving methods; smashed, toppled, empty, and filled with Ichor, just to name a few of the different ways you could get your drinks here.
The bar itself, just like its repertoire, had been heavily damaged, a claw having broken off the end of its marble facade. A clattering came from a kitchen area in the middle of the room, behind two nondescript doors. Noob sighed, moving to the Generator, before suddenly, Glisten teleported right next to them, causing them to jump in fright.
“Hey, there,” Glisten said.
“God, you scared me,” Noob said.
“Yeah, my makeup’s not in the best state right now. You, on the other hand, got off pretty lucky; you look nice,” Glisten said.
“How do I know you aren’t lying?” Noob asked, skeptical from what little they’d seen of Glisten.
“Of course it is; we look pretty similar. You remind me of myself, now that I really look at it,” Glisten said.
“That’s nice and all, but where’s that trademark Glisten I’ve heard all about?”
“Getting headbutted by a literal rock isn’t exactly the best beauty routine,” Glisten said, shrugging.
“I guess,” Noob said.
“There aren’t many perks to being a mirror, you know. You’re fragile. Everyone thinks you’re vain. You’re reflective. Shiny. Weak,” Glisten rattled off.
“And I’m guessing the attire doesn’t help with that?” Noob asked as they began to turn the valve.
“No. It doesn’t, but no matter what I wear, people hate me,” Glisten vented, fiddling with his forehead wound.
“Well, that’s their problem.”
“They hate me because of my attire, not from any personal problems. They say I look ridiculous in this bow and these legwarmers.”
“They don’t hate you because of your attire. If they did, they’d hate Flutter, too.”
“If not my attire, then definitely my personality. They keep telling me I’m hogging the spotlight.”
“If that was the case, then they’d hate Vee, too. She practically owns the spotlight.”
“If not either of those things, then definitely the fact that I’m fragile.”
“Oh, buddy, you do not know how many Toons they’d also hate if they hated you for that.”
“So what do they hate me for?”
“Because you’re different.”
“No, that can’t be it. A-A lot of Toons are different, but they like those Toons well enough. Poppy, Shelly, Toodles, the list goes on.”
“They like those Toons because they’re quiet. They aren’t obstructive. Easily dismissed, and even easier to diminish when they actually speak. But you…you’re none of those things. They don’t hate you for any of those personality traits. They hate you because you speak up.”
“Oh, I see. All I have to do is just be normal and be quiet. Thanks for the help. You can have the spotlight all to yourself now.”
“Wait, that’s not what I—” But Noob was too late, for Glisten had already teleported away. They got the distinct sense that they had made a grave error. They didn’t get much time to wallow, however, as the Generator’s backup sputtered to life. Noob hadn’t been paying attention, and now they were paying something else; namely, the price, as the kitchen doors were kicked down, and a maddened laugh reverberated through the dining area as the roar of a chainsaw’s engine ripped the calm atmosphere wide open.
“LET’S OPEN YOU UP AND SEE WHAT’S INSIDE, SHALL WE?!”

Sprout grumbled, “Stupid book club, don’t they know I’m supposed to be the healer? They can’t patch up a wound to save their life, let alone someone else’s. They’re all weak. They can’t protect me, so I protect them. That’s how Walton wanted it.”

Yatta griped. “What was Tisha thinking?! They all could’ve stayed back, waited for me to do the Machine, but noo, they just HAD to go run right through the masks and get banged up by the tendrils! Now I have to go around finding meds for Sprout because he doesn’t wanna get healed.”

Brightney ranted. “I should just kick Glisten out already, and do the same to every one of those drooling children he brought along with him. Seriously, the only reason that freak still has friends is because everyone’s under his spell, and whenever he gets any pushback, he calls it bullying when I’m just calling out his crimes against fashion instead of worshipping his constant gallivanting with his body! Isn’t the whole point of the show to treat everyone equally? Isn’t that what compassion is?”

Sprout, eventually, managed to find a medical kit on a shelf, and he practically sprinted over to get it. He took it off the shelf, and heard an ear-splitting scream.

The eastern kitchen’s storeroom door blasted open, and a huge Twisted ran out, sending pots and pans clattering to the floor.

Sprout opened the medkit, and grabbed the Ichor shot, a glass syringe filled with the roiling black liquid.

The Twisted was seeing red. A rush went through her Ichor-addled mind at the thought of punishing the greedy, as she sprinted as fast as she could to catch the thief.

Sprout jabbed the syringe into his thigh, wincing as he pressed the plunger. He sighed, as the wound closed. He dropped the kit, and rested easy. He was safe…for about three seconds, before a hulking Twisted barreled into the Toon, sending him crashing to the ground.
“DON’T TAKE WHAT ISN’T YOURS!” the Twisted yelled before crushing Sprout’s head underfoot, his pleading arms falling limply akimbo, his head and upper chest reduced to an inky mess. Twisted Bobette let out a bone-rattling roar, a warning to all the other thieves, for she had her list, and whether she checked it or not was irrelevant.

Yatta took a deep breath, and attempted to focus. Everything was going wrong, but she would save the day and fix it; she, as an acrobat, was perfectly suited to moving quickly and focusing in stressful situations. After all, she had already found a medkit, and was going back to the others. They were all standing around the Machine, waiting for her.
“I’m back!” She said, holding up the medkit.
“That’s good, but you’re too late, Yatta dear. Sprout already left to get supplies,” Teagan said.
“Dang it!” Yatta exclaimed. “Why can’t Sprout sit still for three seconds?!”
“I tried to get him to, but he just pushed me,” Tisha said.
“He got pretty mad with us when we tried to help him,” Poppy said.
“Well, now he’s gone off. Where did he go to?”
Poppy pointed due west, towards the diner’s kitchen.
“Great. Thanks. Stay here a bit longer, okay! I’ll be right back!” Yatta said as she turned the corner to find Sprout. She turned another corner, and found a horrible sight. A massive Twisted stood over a mutilated Sprout, Ichor and strawberry seeds splattered all over the Twisted’s right leg. Her large, fluffy, red sweater was covered in food stains, the soft, white fur sticking into solid, pointy locks on the sweater’s collar and left cuff. The reason the right cuff was exempt is that the lower part of the right sleeve had been entirely shredded apart by the emergence of a grisly claw made of solidified Ichor. The Christmas bauble serving as her head had been smashed, Ichor sloshing about inside. A thin, firm strand of Ichor held up a star-shaped protrusion that stood in place of her left eye. Her right eye, still intact, looked at Yatta, a simple smile on her face. She turned to face the acrobat, sleigh bells chiming with every lumbering step.
“Why hello, there,” she said as she began to shamble towards Yatta, who frantically sprinted away, back towards the others.
“Why not stay for milk and cookies?!” Twisted Bobette asked, picking up speed.
Yatta sprinted past the three other Toons, and they were all too busy wondering what in the world caused her to leave so suddenly, too distracted to see the answer bearing down on them.
Twisted Bobette hit Teagan first, leaving a horrible gash across her back, causing her to fall to her knees. Before Teagan could recover, Twisted Bobette grabbed her handle and poured her tea into the bauble, before throwing Teagan against the wall with a sour look.
“Ugh! That definitely isn’t eggnog!” she griped, before turning to Poppy, getting an idea.
“Maybe with some carbonation, it could work…”
Poppy was cornered, her back against the wall. The Machine (as well as a wall) blocked her progress backwards, and there were booths on either side. Twisted Bobette bore down on Poppy, and reached out to grab her. Poppy stepped back at the last minute, and instead of being squeezed, she was only slashed, Ichor dripping down as Poppy winced. Twisted Bobette, annoyed, grabbed again, as Poppy sidestepped her, attempting to flee to the side. Twisted Bobette, now rather infuriated that her palette-cleansers were running away, put out a leg to trip Poppy, and the cheerful, bubbly Toon fell to the ground. Twisted Bobette, not wanting to puncture Poppy, grabbed her by the bow and lifted her up to the bauble, but as Poppy kicked and thrashed, she hit one of the jagged glass points of the shattered bauble, and summarily popped.
“Carbonation for tea, what was I thinking…” Twisted Bobette grumbled as she returned to her pursuit, Tisha panicking as she was torn between compulsorily cleaning up the stains left by Tisha’s death and escaping herself. Twisted Bobette, now wanting a napkin to clean off the stains on her sweater, grabbed a tissue from Tisha’s head.
“Wh-HEY!” Tisha protested, before Twisted Bobette grabbed her head to get more tissues. She tried to pull another out, but it had been stuck. Twisted Bobette pulled harder, and the cardboard of Tisha’s head crumpled against her claw, Ichor and tissue scraps flowing between her fingers as Tisha’s face screwed up into a horrified expression. But hey, at least Twisted Bobette got another tissue! And thus, Bobette sat down, now preoccupied with cleaning herself up from her little escapades in the kitchen’s storeroom.

Noob, meanwhile, turned to their assailant. She was a thin, slender Twisted, with a set of sharp fangs curled into a maddened smile. Two Ichor-stained horns protruded from her head, with a set of similarly ruined ribbons hanging from them. Her body was made of paper mache, with a gash in the middle of her stomach causing her to dribble out Ichor and presumably poisonous candy with every shift of her body. She had a pair of poofy tails sticking out from behind her. She held a roaring, colorful chainsaw in her hands, the words “SWEET TOOTH” carved into it in a jagged chicken-scratch. A distinct, murderous glee shone in her reddened eyes as Twisted Yatta sized Noob up and lowered the chainsaw. She let out a quiet, insane giggle, saying, “Oh, the BEST piñatas are always the most colorful!” As Noob’s eyes widened, Twisted Yatta began her advance, slowly picking up speed as she ran Noob down.
Noob ran for their life, Twisted Yatta laughing maniacally as they ran. Noob was certainly faster than Twisted Yatta, and they gained a considerable lead, but Twisted Yatta, like her Toon counterpart, was a trained acrobat; she could do this all day if she needed to. All she needed to do was wear this particularly colorful piñata down, and she was free to have all the candy she could ever want. Noob, now entirely out of stamina, pulled out a Slateskin Potion and frantically tried to drink it as Twisted Yatta dug the chainsaw into their shoulder. The Slateskin Potion took effect just in time to reduce Sweet Tooth’s impact from “dead instantly” to “urgent, profuse hemorrhaging.”
Noob yelled in pain, and Twisted Yatta let go of the chainsaw, not wanting to get cut apart by the blowback sending the blade into her own body. Instead, she tried to grab at the wound and wrench it apart, but Noob grabbed Twisted Yatta’s elbows before she could get to it, which led to a horribly unbalanced contest of strength, as Twisted Yatta tried to force through Noob’s defenses. Her smile grew wider as the Slateskin Potion subsided, and she swept Noob’s legs, throwing them on their back. Before Noob could recover, Twisted Yatta placed a foot on their chest, before revving up the chainsaw and raising it high, laughing maniacally before bringing it down on Noob, spraying Noob’s blood all over the paper mache as they were torn apart, Twisted Yatta relishing Noob’s tortured screaming.
And when the screaming finally died down, Twisted Yatta ferally dropped to all fours, lapping at the growing pool of darkened blood and gnawing on their rough, blackened wounds.
“Ichor…mmh, so sweet…” she muttered through a full mouth.

Brightney, Shelly, Astro, and Razzle & Dazzle all walked together, Brightney keeping a lookout for medical supplies, as Shelly followed half-heartedly, trying desperately to find any silver lining in the foreboding atmosphere cast by the horrible screaming and gory crunches reverberating through the diner. Astro looked at Razzle & Dazzle, and wondered if they’d follow him if he ran for it. Dazzle sat at rapt attention, trying to keep faith in the book club, while Razzle tried to keep a weak smile on their face. Brightney, meanwhile, was rather ambivalent to all of the deaths; as long as Astro and Dazzle survived (the jury was still out on Razzle’s importance), she’d be fine with the outcome. Suddenly, Yatta came sprinting out of the darkness, holding a medkit. Brightney threw up her hands in celebration, and said, “Hey, Yatta! Mind if you give us that medkit?”
“Sure, not like anyone else is alive back there to use it.”
Yatta threw the medkit to Brightney, who stopped Shelly, and pulled out the Ichor injection shot, before administering it on Shelly immediately, wiping away the small stream of Ichor dribbling down from the wound caused by the headbutt.
“Well, that’s not good,” Shelly remarked.
“What do you think? [We’re doomed,]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
“We’re not doomed. The Twisteds just got rid of all the bad-luck charms,” Brightney said, trying to brighten up the mood.
“Yeah. With everyone together, we can survive anything!” Shelly said.
“Exactly! We’re stronger together! [You left out Glisten,]” Razzle & Dazzle said jarringly in sequence.
“Oh, Glisten probably died. That wimp can’t survive a second away from all of his cultis-I mean, friends,” Brightney half-joked.
“This is starting to get concerning, Brightney,” Astro said.
“Well, who wouldn’t be concerned when on a run? But don’t worry, we can get anything done when we work as a team!”
“Besides, of course, all of the Toons you called ‘bad luck charms’. [Seriously, the chip on your shoulder is more of a pauldron at this point,]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
“I do NOT have a chip on my shoulder! Walton made me a smart Toon, and I always want to help others, no matter how hard it may be! Walton didn’t make me a hothead,” Brightney deflected.
“Who’s gonna tell her?” Shelly asked.
“Tell me what?”
“Nothing,” Shelly said, glancing at Brightney’s bulb, now dangerously close to burning out.
Suddenly, Glisten teleported right next to them, eyes wide with fear. When he saw the other Toons, he quickly amended his expression to his world-renowned smile.
“It seems they didn’t get rid of all of the bad-luck charms,” Brightney muttered under her breath.
“Where were you? What’s going on?” Shelly asked.
“I was with Noob. They, uh…didn’t exactly get off easy, so I tried to go to the diner to warn the others, but Twisted Bobette had already killed everyone there. By my count, you all are the only ones left.”
“Twisted Bobette? That can’t be right. By the way, who even is Bobette?” Brightney asked.
“You know, the Toon with the sweater? And the bauble for the head? Pet rock, like Dandy’s? You met her, she helped us with the Christmas lights last year,” Glisten said.
“Not ringing any bells,” Brightney lied.
“Well, her Twisted is…pretty deadly. She’s probably mauled 4 Toons just today, and she’s a big one.”
“That probably explains what was rooting around in the storeroom, then,” Razzle said.
“So far, I’ve only seen her, Twisted Yatta, and R-and-D.”
“Thanks for the info,” Shelly said.
“That really wasn’t anything new,” Brightney said, downplaying Glisten’s contribution. “Anyway, how many Machines did you do? We’ve already done one.”
“My team did one,” Yatta said.
“Noob got one in the members-only area.”
“Well, one of you is wrong. There are only 2 Machines done. My money’s on Glisten.”
“Wait, wha-okay, that’s just stupid,” Glisten protested.
“It tracks with your slacking,” Brightney insulted. “Anyway, let’s get to the members lounge! There might be a Machine there.”
“Might be? There IS!” Glisten said. “And it isn’t safe, Twisted Yatta’s over there, and we also have to go through Bobette! We can cut around to the entrance, it’s much safer.”
“Oh, shut it with your pessimism,” Brightney said. “You just wanna tear my plans down, because you can’t accept that I’m smarter than you. My plan is faster, and that’s it.”
“We’re walking into danger!” Glisten pleaded. But Brightney did not listen, for she was determined, and the five Toons began to march through the diner area, while Glisten cut to the right, back towards the elevator.
Brightney watched Glisten run off, and scoffed. Of course that coward wanted to go to the elevator while she did all the work. The passage through the diner was uneventful, save for Twisted Bobette spotting them and beginning to lumber after them. Brightney, in her infinite wisdom, called for everyone else to distract Twisted Bobette while she did the generator.
The four distractions ran towards Twisted Bobette, and tried to disorient her by running around her. Twisted Bobette managed to catch Shelly, grabbing her by the chest and holding her up to her head. Shelly kicked and thrashed, and as Twisted Bobette held Shelly up to her face, mistaking her for a cinnamon roll, Shelly headbutted Twisted Bobette, the bauble surprisingly holding up under the Ichor as Twisted Bobette recoiled in pain, dropping Shelly, who also crashed to the floor. Twisted Bobette, angered, quickly stomped the poor paleontologist into little blackened bits. Twisted Bobette wanted someone who couldn’t headbutt her to follow Shelly, and thus, she grabbed Razzle and Dazzle by the necks, squeezing until they were gasping for air. This proved to be so boring that Twisted Bobette almost fell asleep, and actually managed to slump over into just such a position. A tired Twisted Bobette would have been useful…if Astro hadn’t been squished into an unrecognizable black paste under Twisted Bobette’s weight. Yatta and Razzle & Dazzle looked on at the sleeping Bobette, failing to detect Twisted Yatta creeping up behind them. Twisted Yatta kicked Razzle & Dazzle to the ground, and quickly revved up the chainsaw, cutting them cleanly along the middle. Yatta, appalled, tried to run away, but Twisted Yatta was even faster, and finally managed to get an actual piñata.
Brightney, meanwhile, was working the Machine, entirely oblivious to the death of her comrades. She hummed a tune as she worked, the light of her bulb causing the Ichor to shine in the tank. Twisted Yatta, once she was done with Toon Yatta, saw Brightney, glowing from her head and preoccupied with the Machine. Twisted Yatta’s smile grew wider, and she began to walk up to Brightney, entirely free to take as much time as she wanted. She tapped Brightney on the shoulder.
“Oh, what is it this time?” Brightney asked, before turning to see Twisted Yatta, grinning from ear to ear. Twisted Yatta kicked Brightney down, against the machine, and Brightney pathetically pleaded for her life as Twisted Yatta revved up the chainsaw, and stabbed it into Brightney’s chest before raising the lamp above her head, showering her with Brightney’s Ichor to complement Noob’s blood on the lower part of her body, and savoring every one of her anguished screams, just like Noob’s, before flicking her off of the chainsaw, her body tumbling pathetically into one of the tables. The sheer volume of this endeavor woke Twisted Bobette back up, and Glisten arrived at the dining hall, much too late to make any difference. He panicked, and teleported away. Twisted Yatta motioned to Twisted Bobette to cover the center while she took the left, and Twisted Bobette did so.
Glisten, by now, was all alone. He was already wounded from an encounter with Twisted Gigi, and now he was being chased by both Twisted Bobette and Twisted Yatta. He quickly ran back to the elevator, and pounded on it helplessly. “DANDY! PLEASE! OPEN UP, WE’RE ALL DEAD OUT HERE!” He yelled, looking back at the three of them bearing down on the once-flamboyant mirror. “PLEASE! HELP ME! I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” He screamed, as Twisted Bobette called off Twisted Gigi and Twisted Yatta from killing him. He looked back, and Twisted Bobette grabbed him, giving him a simple, caring smile as he kicked and thrashed, screaming “NO! NO! LET ME GO! PLEASE!” almost into the void, calling out to anyone that could possibly be in a position to help, or some deep-seated caring presence within any of them. But no help came, as Twisted Bobette slammed Glisten against the cold linoleum tiles.

Chapter 7: Episode 1, Part 4: Into the Toon-Grinder

Summary:

After the failure of the first run, Brightney grows more and more authoritarian in her leadership style, as Glisten faces the consequences.

Noob felt a sting as they were plunged into a frigid, blackened sea.
There was no sound, no feeling, as the bodies of their comrades floated beside them.
They were smashed and crushed and torn and ripped, an endless ocean of death.
They tried to struggle. They couldn’t move. Every time they tried, it was like they were trying to move a wall.
Noob’s chest clenched under the ministrations of an unseen hand, their limbs flopping helplessly as it dragged them towards a meaningless direction, deeper into the tempest.
Another hand grabbed Noob, this time by the arm. The two hands struggled against one another, each wanting Noob.
Noob let out a soundless scream, smothered by the Ichor, as they were ripped apart, their blood and viscera melding with the sundering, fateful substance, the aching groans of its corrosion and the sharp, intoxicating sting of its corruption seeping into their bones.
And when it seemed like the final tendon would give way, Noob awoke with a gasp.

Noob’s head jerked up from the hospital bed. The bed itself was obviously not built for their body, their form crammed beneath the sheets in an uncomfortable crouch. A complex machine, whirring and clanking and pumping, was welded beneath it, a baffling array of wires and lights running all throughout the room. Delilah Keen was sitting in a chair not far from them, holding a clipboard with a commanding air about her, scribbling away. “1 hour, 24 minutes, and 53 seconds from nonexistence to consciousness…consciousness attained at 28 minutes and 17 seconds after cessation of bodily reconstruction. Take as much time as you want, Mx. Noob.”
Noob, invigorated with the image of cheating death, leapt out of the bed, and immediately, they almost threw up from the stress.
“12.56 seconds, but results are inconclusive as to safety,” Keen muttered. “REED!” She yelled to Devan outside of the room, and he bolted in with a dutiful look in his eyes.
“What do you need me for, Dr. Keen?” Reed said subserviently.
“Noob may need an escort for testing, and I don’t want to get Ichor or puke or whatever’s in Noob’s stomach all over my lab coat; I know that’s what it’s for, but I have an image to uphold.”
Reed snapped to a salute, and escorted Noob, stealing glances at Delilah to make sure she was watching.

Noob was led into another chamber for further testing. A plate of food sat on the table. Its contents were quite plain; a selection of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and other parts of the food pyramid sat on a plate, with only a slight bit of care given to how they were arranged, in order to make it look at least worth eating.
“Eat,” Delilah ordered. “I’m sure the process must have been exhausting,” she added.
Noob did as they were told, and Delilah scribbled down some notes, muttering, “Appetite nominal…consumed all food items presented…reactions noticeably less extreme.”
“Good,” she added, and pulled out a large testing book. A bizarre arrangement of letters and numbers designated the book as the “NM2AT-14B25” test, whatever that meant.
“A routine mental aptitude test will now be administered, with further physical testing to follow.”
Delilah and Noob went through the testing procedures with little issue. The testing book was long, boring, and by the end of it, Noob’s thighs ached from sitting for that long.
“Pattern recognition normal for accuracy and speed…instructional comprehension increased from past testing, on both fronts…Noted hesitation when asked to take charge…increased empathetic reactions to curated stimuli…symptoms in line with previous testing on other subjects.” Delilah got up, and asked Noob to use various different exercise machines. “Pace testing yields results in line with previous testing of the same subject…pain-resistant in areas of previous wounds…perceptible but inconsequential lethargy in all movements…noted downturn in physical performance across prolonged testing…all bodily fluids contain darker complexion.”
Delilah, when she was done testing Noob, simply got up and left the test chamber, saying in a cold, disinterested voice, “Testing complete. The same effects apply to human subjects as they do to Toon subjects…good job, Mx. Noob. You’ve earned some resting time from your active punishment. The time for the elevator will be pushed back by 3 hours. Please use them well,” Delilah advised, before leaving the room. Through the door, the both of them could hear Delilah squealing in pure excitement, giddy as a schoolgirl, as would anyone upon seeing their invention bring back the dead.

Noob immediately used two of the hours to sit in their warm, comfy, fluffy bed (after clearing off all the cans, of course) before using the third hour to convene with the book club. They were all sitting around a table (besides Glisten, who was entirely absent from the proceedings.) Brightney said, “Ah! Noob! There you are. We’ve come up with a plan for tackling the diner. Essentially, the main threats were disorganization and the lack of safe zones and pathways to move around the diner. Therefore, I’ve come up with a solution for those. The plan goes something like this:
Glisten, with his mirrors, is well-suited for distracting Twisteds. To make use of this, he’ll move up the central lane and wait. If things go well, he’ll have Twisted Bobette and Twisted Yatta on his tail, keeping them preoccupied in the middle of the diner. Nobody else is to go near him; it’ll be too risky. Meanwhile, Noob, Poppy, Tisha, and Teagan sweep the dining room for machines, while Dazzle, Astro, Sprout, and I sweep the kitchen area. If everything goes to plan, we’ll have free reign over the whole diner.”
“I have some questions about the pl-”
“Do you have any better ideas?!” Brightney shouted, getting right up in Noob’s face.
“Anything you want to share with the class?” She continued, going back to a normal position.
“I-er-I didn’t expect to get put on the-”
“Exactly. Leave the planning to the professionals, and don’t get cocky.”
Noob, thankful that they were no longer on the spot, nodded as Brightney went back to her chair. Noob sat down, and Glisten walked into the room. He was dressed in Rodger’s clothes, a surprisingly good fit for him. He was constantly straightening the collar, and generally seemed a little less sure of himself, and while he was still, for the most part, larger-than-life, the change was noticeable.
“Hello, everyone!” He said, waving. Most of the club waved back, except for Brightney.
“I see that you’ve finally put us peasants over your blush, Glisten. I know you like the spotlight, so here’s your chance to shine; immediately after the door opens, you get to the center and stay there. When you see a Twisted, you try to keep its attention for as long as possible. This whole plan relies on you staying alive and STAYING IN THE CENTER. Don’t run off like an idiot again,” Brightney warned, pointing vindictively at Glisten.
“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Glisten said.
“Well, this whole plan is resting on your shoulders, so I certainly hope you won’t,” Brightney said, getting up to grab supplies for final preparations. Glisten watched as Brightney left the room. Not a word was uttered, only the sound of the door slamming shut and the lingering, electric presence of Brightney.

RUN II: Divide and Conquer

“Everyone, stick to the plan and we’ll get out fine!” Glisten didn’t need to be told twice, this was his time to prove himself to Brightney. Maybe if he distracted well enough, she’d stop pestering him. He excitedly ran to the center, and waited, making sure to stay outside the influence of Twisted Razzle & Twisted Dazzle. He waited. And waited. And waited.

Meanwhile, Brightney and her posse weren’t doing so well.
“Let me heal you, Brightney!” Sprout said.
“I’m fine, Sprout!” Brightney replied, a grievous wound on her stomach, incurred from an attack by Twisted Gigi. A similar wound was also on her arm.
“You’re on your last leg, Brightney. [You will die if you do not receive treatment,]” Razzle & Dazzle warned in sequence.
“Such threatening language won’t make me any more receptive. I’m fine, you’re overreacting,” Brightney dismissed, moving towards a Machine. Its light flickered, its valve rattled from the pressure. Astro’s eye widened, and he yelled, “DON’T TOUCH THAT MACHINE!”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Brightney said as she grabbed the valve. “It’s a perfectly normal-AGH!”
Twisted Connie burst out of the machine, grabbing Brightney by the bulb as she let out a piercing, monstrous wail, before crushing Brightney’s bulb between her hands, Brightney’s eyes rolling back in her shade before she was dropped unceremoniously, Twisted Connie vanishing soon after. Twisted Bobette looked out of the storeroom to see the commotion, and Astro, Razzle, and Dazzle shot an “I told you so” look at each other as they were trapped between Twisted Bobette and Twisted Gigi.
(As for Sprout, he was run down a minute later by Twisted Bobette while trying to find Tapes; you’ve already read that once.)

Noob’s group, meanwhile, all walked into the dining area. They had faced little commotion all throughout the trip; even in the dining area, there were no Twisteds. Tisha and Teagan tried to find an intact drink at the bar, while Noob and Yatta were busy with the machine.
“Hey, where’s Shelly?” Noob asked off-handedly.
“I think she went to the center to help Glisten, but I’m not 100% sure about that,” Yatta said in an equally disinterested manner, picking up a random broken bottle and shaking it a couple times. Suddenly, they all heard a crash from the kitchen.
Poppy said, “I’ll go, you all wait.”
Yatta contested, saying, “No, I’m going too.”
“Okay, fine, but only because you’re fast.”
The two of them walked into the kitchen, and barely as the doors closed behind them, Noob heard a maniacal laugh, followed by the roar of a chainsaw. Yatta ran and accidentally hit the wall, recovering slightly before being cut open by Sweet Tooth, exploding into a fountain of candy. Noob immediately booked it, leaving Tisha and Teagan behind. Due to their presence behind the bar, they couldn’t get enough distance to effectively escape Yatta, and fell victim to the cruel ministrations of Sweet Tooth. Noob tried to block out the two’s screaming from their mind, running to meet Glisten and Shelly in the center.

The three of them were all that were left of the ten-Toon (and one-Robloxian) crew.
“Glisten?! What are you doing, you were supposed to distract!” Noob asked.
“I was supposed to stand here and serve as a distraction,” Glisten rebutted.
“And Shelly, you too! Where are you supposed to be?”
“I wasn’t on a team, so I thought I’d help Glisten!”
Noob facepalmed. “Is there anything done right here?”
Glisten and Shelly both shrugged, and Noob was practically vibrating with anger. But before Noob could properly go ballistic, the scene was shattered as Twisted Bobette grabbed Shelly and crushed her body in her claws, saving the head. She discarded Shelly’s mangled body and pulled back her arm to throw the shell, letting loose with a crushing heater that blew straight through Glisten’s head, the beheaded mirror stumbling around for a few seconds before falling to the ground. Noob, horrified at Twisted Bobette’s monstrous strength, began to run back towards the dining area, looking back at Twisted Bobette as she turned her attention onto Noob. Noob needed to focus now, and they looked forward once again. Except they were much too late, and the smiling face of Twisted Yatta filled their vision as she plunged Sweet Tooth into Noob’s chest.

RUN III: All You Can Eat

Noob awoke in the Reconstruction Bay, dressed in entirely different clothes than when they died. They were wearing a black baseball cap, with a blue shirt that had a skeleton design with an eagle on the back, with fingerless gloves and ripped jeans.

Noob walked into the book-club room, where everyone was sitting (including Glisten this time.)
“Okay, new plan. That one didn’t exactly work out. Instead of us going all at once, we can send people in one at a time, so that they don’t draw too much heat.”
“What about the elevator?”
“We all get out of the elevator, then hide in the bathroom area to the right.”
Sprout raised his hand. “I don’t think this plan is very go-”
Brightney silenced him, and said, “Relax, Sprout. This is your chance to be the hero.”
Sprout’s eyes lit up, and they sat back down enthusiastically.

They all got out of the elevator, and ran towards the bathrooms. When they got inside, Brightney said, “Rod-I mean, Glisten, you go-wait, why are you wearing Rodger’s coat? Did you steal it?”
“I didn’t steal it, I asked nicely. What you said got me thinking, and I’m experimenting with dialing my outfit back a bit,” Glisten said, messing with the collar.
“A simpleton like you doesn’t deserve to wear the clothes of an intellectual like Rodger. Take it off,” Brightney ordered.
“What?”
“Take. It. Off. You don’t deserve to wear it.”
“B-But I like it!”
“I don’t care. Take it off.”
“I’m not wearing anything else under it, though!”
“DID I STUTTER?!”
“Don’t shout at me!”
Brightney took a breath, and said in a calmer voice, “Either you take it off, and stop offending me with your brazen affronts to intellectualism, or you go out there. Either way, I don’t want to see it on your body.”
Glisten hesitated, then nodded reservedly, before walking out of the bathroom.

Two minutes later, he was little more than a black smear against the wall, Twisted Bobette licking her fingers nearby.

Yatta was sent out next. She fared better, but two minutes after Glisten’s death, she was struggling on the ground as Twisted Razzle & Twisted Dazzle’s tendrils coiled tight around her neck.

Sprout left after that. He died struggling, trying desperately to free himself from Twisted Gigi’s grip as she dragged him into the darkness.

Shelly left after Sprout’s screaming finally died down. She never found out how he died, but she certainly found out what Twisted Connie thought of her attempts to work on the machines.

Poppy left the bathroom with a determined smile on her face. Minutes later, she had been smashed against a table, with a horrible crunch signaling her demise.

Noob left to check what was going on. They found Poppy had been smashed against a table, and mere moments later, they also found out what decapitation by chainsaw felt like.

Teagan went out after that, on a lookout for Tapes she could use to heal herself. She really should’ve paid attention to the bone-rattling scream that reverberated throughout the diner as she picked up some gumballs.

Tisha, after that, found Teagan (or, at least, her head) being used as a teacup by Twisted Bobette shortly before she found her own head being used as a napkin.

By then, only the original four members of the book club remained: Brightney, Astro, and Razzle & Dazzle.
“Well, now what? [It’s an Ichor bath out there,]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
“Astro?” Brightney said.
“I am NOT going out there,” Astro said.
“Well, I can’t, and Dazzle can’t. Someone’s got to.”
“...whatever you say,” Astro said, before leaving the bathroom.
“And there he goes. I hope he survives. [He won’t make it, will he?]” Razzle & Dazzle hoped and questioned in sequence.
“If he gets mauled, there’s always you two.”
A scream resounded, followed by a meaty crunch.
“You’re up, you two.”
“No. Nononono. [We’re not going into that death trap. You go; this was your idea.]”
“I’m too valuable to lose, and someone has to go. So come on.”
“No, you go. [You’re not too valuable.]”
“I’m Brightney! Smart and helpful! I can’t die!”
“...[...]”
“So come on!” Brightney said, pushing Razzle & Dazzle out the door. This descended into a grabbing match where the three of them tumbled out of the bathroom, right into the view of Twisted Bobette, standing over the smashed-in-half Astro.
“I blame you two for this.”
CRUNCH!

Run IV: Accusations

Noob awoke in the Reconstruction Bay, wearing an orange jacket with an orange-and-gray striped baseball cap, and their jeans were more ripped this time.

“Okay, the old plan of us going out wasn’t exactly a hit. How about we go back to the old plan? Everyone except Razzle & Dazzle, Astro, and I go forward to bring all the Twisteds to one point, and keep them there. After they’ve gotten Gigi, Bobette, and Yatta, they blow an air horn to signal to us that we can start doing the Machines.”
“Why are Razzle & Dazzle important? And Astro, too?”
“Do you want to go and play hero while the actually smart ones get hurled into harm’s way? I swear, Glisten, you always do this. That suit isn’t fooling anyone, by the way.”
“That wasn’t what I was saying!”
“What were you saying, then? That this was your idea? Huh? That’s what you always do, Glisten: You make miniscule, tiny changes, and then take all the credit! I’m not falling for it anymore! You’re a fake! Every single one of your achievements are built on lies!”
“Hey, you stop with that!” Noob said as Glisten ran out of the room.
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Brightney yelled.
You could cut the silence after that with a knife, as Brightney and Noob stood face-to-face.
“You really should look in a mirror sometime,” Noob said softly, and sat back down.
“I’d rather not look at Glisten much more than I have to. If I get too close, I might get makeup in my eyes,” Brightney joked. “I might get makeup in my eyes,” she repeated, as a slow, scared chuckle built throughout the room. She smiled, and sat down, reveling in her shaky fame.

When everyone got out of the elevator, Noob stayed behind, with Brightney.
“Why are you not with the others?” Brightney asked.
“Why are you so angry?” Noob responded.
A small pause.
“...you don’t know what it’s like. You haven’t seen Glisten.”
“I’ve seen him. I’ve talked to him.”
“I meant the true Glisten. The one that always comes in to help. He creeps up on you, always saying just the right things. Before you know it, your project becomes his project. Your leadership position becomes his. Your award, that you earned for all your hard work, becomes his. And when you finally confront him about it, he shrugs and says he just helped. He says the award is yours, and that is true, to a point; they did give it to you, after all, but we both know who really got it. He is not a showman. He is not even an actor. He is a thief, having his grubby little golden paws in a dozen different pies at once. He works in the shadows, overwriting your contributions. It’s happened to Sprout. It’s happened to Vee. It will NOT happen to me.”
“And what project is he trying to steal?”
“My book club. See, when I first started it, I originally invited Glisten along. Multiple times, he said he’ll go. Exactly zero of these meetings were ones he actually went to. Until one day, I presume he got an idea. He joined the club, read the books, contributed the bare minimum. Then, he started inviting people. First it was Tisha and Teagan. They were pleasant enough, distinguished enough to understand the material. Then they invited Yatta and Poppy. And then THEY invited in Shelly and Sprout. It was a chain of rats, leading other rats into the cellar. And from the moment Glisten suggested that they fill the remaining time after meetings with a card game, the club died. I’ve been trying to kick them out for months, to no luck. It’s been hell. Every time I see Glisten’s face, with his stupid makeup, I want to punch it.”
“Sounds to me like Glisten isn’t actually the one at fault here.”
“Except he’s been changing himself to throw me off the scent, make me think he cares about what I have to say. I’m not falling for it.”
“Or maybe he IS listening to you. You say you hate the makeup, he takes off the makeup. You say his coat is an insult, he takes off the coat and gets a suit.”
“He’s doing that because he knows he’s in hot water. If I can just press him that little bit further, I can get him to admit all that he’s done. Maybe then, Corporate will see that he’s acting in bad faith. And if they can see that, then I just might get my club back. But he won’t just admit that. I have to break him down first. Soften him up.”
“And you’re doing that by hurting him!”
“DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS?!” Brightney yelled, leaning back on the phrase that had become a staple over the day’s events.
“Maybe stop pressuring him and making him feel horrible about himself?”
“I’m doing that to prevent him from hurting anyone else. Besides, he’s a narcissist. He deserves every bad thing that happens to him, because any pain that’s inflicted onto him will not be inflicted onto others. It’s simple math.”
“Do you hear yourself speaking right now? Life is not a numbers game. Glisten is a person, with feelings and dreams. He is not a minus sign, that must be nullified and ignored. He deserves none of this; you keep moving the goalposts further and further back. You say it’s for the greater good, but all you’re doing is trying to run from the fact that you are a horrible person, who sends her friends into death traps and turns the relentless bullying of an already easy target into a numbers game. You don’t have to see his tears if he’s not a person anymore. You’re trying to justify that which cannot be justified, and shouting down anyone who opposes you. You’re sick,” Noob said, before walking away. Their heart buzzed, but it, too, could not escape; every single person involved would die here soon enough.

RUN V: Wrath and the Panopticon

Noob awoke, and immediately went to Glisten’s room to notify him of Brightney’s intentions. Glisten immediately answered the door, dressed in a bland black suit and tie. His face was entirely devoid of makeup at all, a crushed, flat expression on his face. Even the colors of his body were somewhat muted, and getting grayer by the minute.
“Come on, let’s get to the meeting. We don’t want to be late,” he said, entirely devoid of any emotion.
“D-Don’t you wanna have some makeup, look good?” Noob asked.
“Why would I need makeup? I’m a guy. Guys wear suits, not makeup.”
A million different thoughts ran through Noob’s mind, each one an entirely different response.
They wanted to slap Glisten to his senses.
They wanted to grab Glisten, drag him back into his room, and do his makeup themselves.
They wanted to cart him before Brightney and shout that she had destroyed him.
They wanted to comfort Glisten. They wanted to remind him that he wasn’t an abomination before the natural order simply before putting some colored paint on his face.
But, in the end, all Noob could do was just accept it.

They both walked into the book club room, and saw Brightney sitting regally at the table.
“Ah, there you two are. I know you don’t exactly think the highest of me, Noob, but we can talk about that later. We need the utmost unity that we possibly can. This IS a team-building exercise, which means putting personal grievances to the side.”
Noob agreed, and sat down alongside Glisten, leaning towards him in their chair.
“Now, last time, Noob ran off halfway through, which spelled the end of the distraction team and resulting in the extraction team not getting any support, which inevitably led to them being mauled when they tried to move through the center. This time, let’s try that approach again. I’m sure it’ll work, and if it doesn’t, then it’ll be the last run of the day and we’ll have the whole night to think.”

They all got out of the elevator, and Glisten blew right past the other members of the team when they went to meet in the center.
“Glisten! We need you to distract!” Tisha yelled after him, but he kept moving. Tisha moved towards him, but Noob stepped in, putting their hand on her shoulder.
“I’ll handle this. You get to distracting.”
“But you’re–”
“No buts. We’re wasting time.”
And Noob ran off towards the dining area, after Glisten.

Glisten, upon reaching the members-only lounge, walked behind the bar and sat down.
Noob vaulted onto the bar, and asked, “Hey, what’s wrong, Glisten?”
Glisten, by this point, had turned entirely grayscale, a ghost of his former self.
“I just don’t feel like it. It’s exhausting always being the center of attention.”
“Yeah, me too. Especially when the audience is trying to kill you.”
“I don’t think they want to kill me. The Toons, I mean.”
“They are, though. Look at you.”
“I’m fine. It’s just that I’ve ditched all the gaudy stuff. Now I’m what I’m supposed to be.”
“But are you happy?” Noob asked.
Glisten paused, for he could not earnestly say yes.

Chapter 8: Episode 1, Part 5: Broken

Summary:

Noob comforts Glisten and confronts Brightney about her behavior.

“I was living a lie. A lie to my friends. A lie to my superiors. A lie to myself. Brightney helped me see that. She helped me get rid of all the makeup, all the masks.”
“She hates you.”
“No. She hated the makeup, not the person beneath it.”
“I’ve talked to her. She wants to break you, she said it herself.”
“Any positive change needs a push. That’s hardly trying to break someone.”
“She doesn’t want a positive change. She wants to make sure nobody trusts you ever again.”
“No. She’s smart. There must be some ulterior motive, some greater good.”
“If a ‘greater good’ requires you to bully someone until they’re a pathetic wreck, then it isn’t a good at all.”
“Except I, myself, have done wrong.”
“Your ‘wrong’ in her eyes is simply contributing. She does not want you here, in any form.”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
“Because it’s the truth. You are actively destroying yourself to please her, when she is stringing you along, trying to get you to fall off a cliff. You can only bend so far backwards before you break.”
“If that’s the case, then why’s everyone going along with this?”
“Because she’s sold them her image of you, as a narcissist who deserves horrible things. Nothing more, everything less.”
“So I should work to change that.”
“YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT! Even if nobody can realistically call you a narcissist, she’ll try to find some other flaw, and it’ll continue over and over again until you’re a bedbound, sobbing husk!”
“She’s calling out my flaws, then.”
“She’s trying to hurt you.”
“If she’s trying to hurt me, she can just hurt me. Why use my flaws as a proxy?”
“Because she can’t hate you, not outwardly. She’s trying to give everyone around her plausible deniability as to her hatred of you, including herself.”
“I…don’t understand.”
“See, what you have to understand about identity-based bullying is that the bully often tries to find an ‘acceptable flaw’ in order to be able to bully you without themselves being attacked for bullying someone like you. This can happen subconsciously, when you hate someone and you’re just waiting for them to slip up so you can say that they’re secretly all these terrible things.”
“And what am I supposed to do about it? Seems to me like I should keep my head down.”
“That is exactly what she wants you to do. She’ll keep pushing the goalposts father and farther back until you fall back into place, personal happiness be damned.”
“And maybe I should. It is my place, after all.”
“But it isn't! Your place is in the spotlight, head held high and absolutely covered in gaudy makeup and flamboyant ribbons! Walton made you this way for a reason, Glisten. To refuse it due to the demands of one person, practically a glorified night-light, is to throw away the life Walton gave you, and the happiness it brought.”
“Except it isn’t one person. Sprout tried it. Vee tried it. Corporate tried it. That’s why I’m doing it. The way to stardom is popular demand, right?”
“Well, they’re horrible people, too.”
Noob hugged Glisten, getting down from the bar.
“Screw them. Who needs those crybabies anyway?” they said past Glisten’s shoulder, as color began to return to their body.
“Thanks,” Glisten said as Twisted Yatta held her chainsaw high behind them. There was no escape, but they were not trapped, because they were themselves, and being true to themselves was the ultimate freedom.

When Noob woke up, they immediately got out of bed, burning with purpose. They momentarily grabbed the swords laying in the two sheaths on their back, but decided against it.

They walked into the common room, where Brightney was idly ranting about the horrible failures of the last run. She saw Noob, and her eyes burned with rage.
“AND YOU! YOU ARE ABOUT THE LAZIEST, MOST ARGUMENTATIVE IDIOT THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! WHERE WERE YOU LAST RUN?!”
Noob stopped. They turned, and walked slowly towards Brightney.
“I was fixing YOUR mistakes. Making sure Glisten didn’t up and run off, or even Twist, because you bullied him so hard he turned monochrome! MONOCHROME! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A JERK YOU HAVE TO BE TO SAP THE COLOR OUT OF A CHILDREN’S CARTOON CHARACTER?!”
“Don’t yell, Noob. You’re not helping your case.”
“You’ve done much worse things, Brightney. Sending your friends and fellow club members in danger, while keeping the ones you think are the ‘real’ members, because they’re too scared to speak out against you, and they’ll blindly agree with whatever you say. Relentlessly hounding Glisten on his fashion and calling him an abomination, then hiding behind his insecurities when people call you out on it. Not allowing anyone else to make input on your plans to actually improve them when they don’t work, and shouting down anyone that tries. You’re being a jerk, Brightney. Face it.”
The room was silent as Brightney vibrated with rage.
“I am Brightney. President of the book club, always willing to help other Toons when they have problems. Always willing to make a plan that includes everyone. I am NOT a bully,” Brightney seethed.
“Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?”

Brightney stopped, then simply went to her room. Noob felt nothing as the door slammed shut. Brightney was gone, but it was a hollow victory.

Later that night, just before the curfew, Noob asked Devan to take them to Brightney for reconciliation. Devan said yes, and Noob knocked three times. “Who is it?” Brightney asked, voice choked with tears.
“It’s Noob. I just wanna talk about what happened earlier.”
“Go a…hmh. Fine. Come in.”
Brightney got up and opened the door, her movements dripping with the lethargy of despair. Her lampshade was stained with tears, her expression entirely dead. Her mouth was ajar in a stare that didn’t necessarily go a thousand yards, but at least went a solid 600.
Noob walked in, and shooed Devan away. “You can just wait outside, and look at the cameras.”
Devan looked at them bewilderedly, and Noob shooed him away again. Devan complied, and Noob smiled as they closed the door behind them.
Noob walked around, before landing on the bed, patting the spot beside them.
Brightney sat down, and Noob sighed.
“I’m sorry for yelling earlier,” Noob said.
“That’s the least of my problems. My book club’s gonna be just me. Maybe Astro, as well.”
“I’ve thought about it some more…I don’t think the label of ‘jerk’ is the best description.”
“And you’re replacing it with something worse?”
“No, no. You’re just letting your emotions get the best of you. You want to do good, I see that now. But this isn’t the right way. Bullying Glisten, sending us into danger.”
“Well, Glisten has some problems. And it’s a run as well; danger’s kind of a given.”
“You used those problems as a stepping stone for others to hate him. And you also did nothing to mitigate risk.”
“I can see your first point, but as to your second, I tried to, by using maneuverability to my advantage. They can all do roughly the same things.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Hey, do you have a chess set?”
“Of course I do. What of it?”
“You go get it. I’ll draw a rough map of the diner.”

“Just visualize the plan you’re thinking of,” Noob said as they put the map and chess set down on the ground.
Brightney looked up at Noob, sitting down opposite them and smiling. She retrieved a handful of pawns from the set, and rehearsed the same plan, using white pieces for Toons and black ones to stand in for Twisteds. Predictably, she ran out of pawns, and used a King piece to represent her and her friends.
Noob sat there silently throughout the whole ordeal.
“Do you see the problem?” they asked when Brightney finished.
“It’s a foolproof plan, if everyone works together.”
“That may be the case, but the problem I was trying to illustrate is with your mindset. See how you use pawns to represent everyone? You’re ignoring their strengths, making them all the same, when they’re not.”
“...explain,” Brightney ordered hesitantly.
“Well, to keep with the chess metaphor, Toons aren’t pawns, and every piece is unique.
Noob took out the knight pieces.
“Knights are nimble, and can move faster and more unpredictably than other pieces. We’ll use them to represent Yatta and Glisten.”
Noob placed the two Knights on the board, and retrieved the Bishops.
“Bishops are a good offensive force, great for putting on pressure and keeping it there. We’ll use them to represent Shelly and Tisha.”
Noob retrieved the Rooks.
“Rooks are good for defensive work, and are unmatched in keeping other pieces safe. We’ll use them to represent Teagan and Sprout.”
Noob took out the Queen and King.
“Queens are the most flexible pieces, able to move around to many different places and lock down many angles at once. We’ll use one to represent me. And you already know what a king does. He’ll represent you, because if we lose you, we lose, period.”
“And who’ll represent the others?”
“I know this is breaking from the ‘no Toon is a pawn’ thing, but Pawns can represent Poppy, Astro, and the Masks. They may look unassuming, but if you don’t pay attention to them, you’ll have a lot of trouble on your hands before long.”
“And the Twisteds?”
“Bobette will be the Queen, since she can move fast and hit hard, but is predictable. Yatta’s a Knight, since she can move fast and can easily run you down if she gets the chance. Razzle, Dazzle, and Connie are Rooks, since they are reactive and don’t move a lot. Gigi’s a pawn, because she’s rather unassuming compared to the others, but still dangerous.
Brightney looked at the board, and nodded in scant understanding.
“Now, with these pieces, do that plan again.”
Brightney nodded, but while she tried to keep dignified, her once-foolproof plan now looked more and more disjointed with every step. When it seemed as if she was about to break down, Noob stopped her.
“Alright, I’ll save you the pain, but you get what I’m saying, right? You’re shoving people into boxes, and saying they’re all these bad things when they complain that they can’t move. The problem isn’t them, or even you to a large extent, but rather with the boxes. You need to expand the boxes, make them into chairs. People can sit on them, but they can also go outside of them, or use them to support others. They’re more like guidelines, as opposed to orders.”
“I see. So what’s the plan?”
“That’s the beauty of it. We’ll make a plan tomorrow, all of us together and contributing ideas.”
“I dunno about that; they’ll probably just play cards.”
“I’m sure they’ll contribute; everyone in the world wants to be a part of something and make that thing more successful. Everyone wants their name on something.”
“And what if someone contributes too much?”
“Are you talking about Glisten?”
“...maybe.”
Noob sighed, then chuckled heartily.
“Look. Glisten wants to be helpful. He wants to be accepted. Responding to his good-faith additions with anger is only going to dig yourself into an even deeper hole. It’s a team effort, with eleven different members; of course some people are going to contribute more than others. But a team project is not entirely about equality; it’s about fairness. Every member has the exact same chances as any other member. Yes, some members that may have been leaders will continue emerging as leaders, but that will be because their ideas were the best out of the ones presented. Every idea had a fair shot, and the best ideas won. Nothing more, nothing less. Glisten isn’t taking something away from you, because it was never supposed to be entirely yours to begin with.”
“But I’m President of the book club. It is, by definition, my project if it does something.”
“President is a loose classification. Some people may see book club as a way to read books socially, some may see it as a social forum built on books as a conversation starter, some may see it as a way to find good books to read, and some may see a book club as a way to see much further into a book than could normally be seen by a single perspective. All of these interpretations are correct; they all could describe a book club, but they are all very different. Forcing one interpretation onto all of the members could shoot the club in the foot, and make the club as a whole more hostile to alternative perspectives. Not only is kicking out all of the members Glisten brought in entirely unfeasible, but also unadvisable, and makes you look like a snooty elitist, which I’m sure you don’t want to be.”
“So I just do…nothing?”
“Don’t do NOTHING, but don’t go ballistic and kick out everyone you don’t like. Put your foot down and end the card games, but don’t waste everyone’s time sitting around. Maybe have some general conversation instead of a card game. Keep the atmosphere, but don’t be a bully about it.”
“Got it. Now, do you have any-”
The chime signaling the curfew resonated throughout the building, and Noob got up.
“I have to go. Sleep on it,” they said, as Devan got them from the room.

Noob walked into the club room, dressed nicely for the occasion. They smiled, a red star painted on their left eye with makeup, yet not very visible under their red shutter shades, pressed down on their face by a red-and-white baseball cap, with the word “ROBLOX” written on the side in a jagged font. Their neck was covered by a bandana, scrunched down to fully reveal Noob’s face. An old, pitch-black mock Guest hoodie sat over a shirt containing a design of a carved pumpkin with black arms reaching out of it, and a pair of black pants with red outlines with red shoes sat below. White sleeves poked out from beneath the rolled-up sleeves of the Guest hoodie, and a series of flamboyant bracelets sat upon them. A yellow-and-blue slingshot sat at their hip, and a pair of sheaths containing flimsy wakizashi swords sat beneath a backpack. A nondescript, non-bejeweled red crown sat atop their cap, slightly tilted to the side.
Brightney looked around at the full room, and clasped her hands together, looking cheerful as ever.
“Alright, everyone’s here! I haven’t made a plan for this go-around, but that’s because we’ll ALL be making the plan!”
“And the chess set?” Noob set up.
“Glad you asked! We’ll be using the chess set to represent Toons, Twisteds, and Machines. Black pawns are Machines, black pieces are Twisteds, and white pieces represent Toons.”
Brightney got up, opening the chess set and unrolling a schematics plan of Floor 17, using four books as paperweights. It seemed to have been made before the 2002 renovations, as the coffee stains and lack of Ichor pipes or Machines demonstrated.
“I’ll be handing out a chess piece to represent each of you,” she said as she gave marked pieces out to the members.
“Why are we pawns? [Is it because you don’t like us?]” Razzle & Dazzle said in sequence.
“You’re pawns because while you may look unassuming, you can definitely turn the tide,” Brightney said as she placed three pawns on the board.
“You may notice the lack of marked Machines. This leads us to our first order of business: Where are the last two Machines? Has anyone seen them?”
“I think I saw a Machine while I was getting attacked by Twisted Gigi,” Sprout said, taking one of the pawns and putting it in an alcove to the left of the elevator.
“And I saw a pipe in the kitchen storeroom on this side,” Poppy said, putting a pawn in the northeastern kitchen’s storeroom.
“Good! Now for the Twisteds.”
“Bobette’s in here,” Shelly said, placing a black rook to represent Bobette. Noob replaced it with a queen, and placed the rook to represent the masks.
“And the other me’s somewhere in the kitchen,” Yatta said, placing a black knight to represent her deranged counterpart.
“Gigi’s in the alcove, of course,” Sprout said, placing a black bishop to represent her.
“And Connie… well, we don’t know where she is, but I’ll just place her on the Machine,” Brightney said, placing a rook to represent Connie.
“That seems to be all of them. Let’s get to cooking up plans,” Noob said.
“I’ll go first. My idea is that we all go in one big mob, which can overwhelm Twisteds with there being too many targets, and also makes sure that everyone’s on the same page,” Brightney opened.
“Hmm…What if we get cornered? We’re like fish in a barrel,” Yatta said.
“Dang it! Didn’t think of that, glad you caught it.”
“Well, how about we use the middle as a sort of staging ground? There aren’t any Twisteds there,” Glisten said.
“Yeah, we can use it to retreat back if something goes wrong,” Shelly said.
“The problem is that Twisteds can still occupy it,” Tisha said.
“They’re quite a problem, aren’t they?” Teagan said.
“So how about we set traps for them?” Noob asked, to confusion from the rest of the table.
“Think about it,” Noob said, getting up and looming over the map. “Our main problem is the Twisteds being able to corner us. So how about we corner them first?”
Noob looked around to see tacit, if slightly bewildered, nods from the table, and said, “We can trap Twisted Yatta in the kitchen easily enough, just use the tables. Twisted Bobette, though…she’s a bit harder. We can’t simply use debris, because she’s really strong. So instead of keeping her in by force, we just have to make it extremely unsafe for her to be in there. When we first get to the kitchen, Shelly helps Astro do the generator in there, while I set up the trap. After the trap is set off, we have to move quickly; we split up into five small teams, a team for each generator. Brightney, Razzle & Dazzle, you’re First Team. Shelly, Astro, and I are Second Team. Poppy, Yatta, you’re Third Team. Sprout and Teagan, you’re Fourth Team. Tisha and Glisten, you’re Fifth Team.”
“Team one, Brightney draws away Gigi while Dazzle takes the generator. You lure Gigi into the western kitchen after I give the signal. Team two, Astro searches the kitchen for any threats. If none are found, Shelly and I come in. Shelly does the generator, and I set up the trap while she’s at it. After we’re done, you two leave the kitchen to join up with other teams. I’ll stay behind to activate the trap. Team three, you go with team five to the dining area. You’ll be building the barricade while team five does the generator. Team four, you wait in the center. If a team needs help, you can go to that team and help. Now, team five, after all the generators are done, you clear the barricade and lure Yatta out of the kitchen. Glisten will go in and distract Yatta, and use Tisha as a teleportation anchor in order to not get torn in half by the chainsaw. After Yatta is lured out of the kitchen, Tisha will run in and do the final generator. While that’s happening, we all make a beeline for the elevator. And then, we’ll have all made it out safe.”
A pause.
“Sound strategy. Failsafes, easy solutions, redundancies for errors…I love it!” Brightney said, this statement playing no small part in winning the rest of the table over.
“I’ve been cooking it up all night. I even asked 007n7 for a bit of help. He didn’t provide any ideas, but…”
Noob put their backpack on the table, handing out cylindrical potions to everyone, with triangular markings on the label.
“These are Slateskin Potions. When you drink them, you will turn to stone, which makes you virtually unkillable, but the downside is that you can’t move very fast, because a stone statue is pretty heavy, as it turns out.”
Everyone grabbed the Potions, and Noob added, “Only use them when you’re in a pinch.”
Everyone nodded, and Astro asked, “Wait…what’s the trap?”
Noob patted the slingshot a couple times, and said cryptically, “It’s a blast from the past, that’s for sure.”
“I don’t like the sound of that, but I’ll trust you, Noob,” Astro said. “You’ve gotten us this far.”

Noob stepped onto the elevator, and the doors closed behind them. Their heart pounded nearly out of their chest, and their fists tightened ever so slightly. They could hear every notch of the gears and the rumbling of the engine driving the elevator. The elevator stopped, and Noob ran forward. “Go, go, go!” They yelled, ushering Shelly and Astro to follow them. The three of them rushed towards the kitchen, and Noob waved Astro in. After a short while of Astro looking, he said, “All clear. Nobody there.” Noob ran in, and waved Shelly over to do the generator. Shelly, eager to have an active role, practically skipped to the generator. Astro kept a lookout for Brightney, and Noob stood over the stove. Their hand gravitated to the knob, and they muttered, “Here goes nothing,” as they turned the knob halfway. Gas hissed out of the stove as Noob turned the other three knobs. Noob, heart racing, crouched down and began to flick the propane canisters open. They glanced at Bobette over in the storeroom, engorging herself on its rotted contents. “Sad sap,” they remarked as they opened more of the canisters, opening the gas valves on the walls. The machine chimed to signal that it was full, and Noob said, “Alright, both of you get out and go to the others. I’ll stay behind to watch the trap.” Noob turned to see Brightney being chased by Gigi, and motioned for her to go into the kitchen, eating a Ghostburger to keep Gigi from going after them.
They took a deep breath as they pulled out a bottle of Epicsauce from their bag. A ghostly voice called out to them, “Do you think you’ll regret what you’re about to do?”
As Brightney disappeared into the kitchen, Noob drizzled the Epicsauce onto a slingshot pellet. They notched the now-burning pellet, and kicked a discarded bottle of Poppy Pop, eliciting a maddened scream from Twisted Bobette in the storeroom. Noob drank a Slateskin Potion, and drew back the slingshot, payload smoldering as Brightney ran out.
“Not for a single second.”

Chapter 9: Episode 1, Finale - RUN VI: Firestorm

Summary:

After Noob accidentally ignites a latent gas leak, they must fight for their life as the diner burns around them.

Noob released the slingshot, and within moments, Hell broke loose. The kitchen exploded, heat licking at Noob’s stony skin as the flames traveled along the ruptured gas line all the way to the other kitchen, blasting apart the barricade. Gouts of fire blasted down from the ceiling, incinerating some of the passageways (and Tisha and Yatta) in a fiery display. The other, slightly-less-combustible Toons were knocked around by the concussive forces, Ichor spraying down from the ceiling to produce a raging napalm. The fire alarms burst into a shrill, screeching buzz as white lights began to flash in a periodic, disorienting strobe. Twisted Bobette ran out of the kitchen, Ichor burning in her bauble like a torch. Her entire left side had been scorched, Bobette trying desperately to pat out the fire. Out of the corner of their eye, Noob could see that Twisted Gigi wasn’t faring much better, running out of the kitchen, arms flailing about as her singular hand reached out of the burning Ichor, one last appeal to her Creator before falling over dead, exploding into burning napalm that turned Razzle and Dazzle to screaming ash. Noob ran away, and went to Sprout and Teagan.

Noob saw Teagan trying to put out a burning, screaming Sprout with a tablecloth. Noob ran over, grabbing the Slateskin Potion from Sprout’s hip belt, and saying, “This should help for now,” as they held Sprout’s hand and shoved the potion into his mouth. Sprout painedly swallowed, and his skin turned to stone, extinguishing the flames. Ghostly laughter reverberated through Noob’s mind as Noob tried to help Sprout to his feet, Teagan taking him, limping, back to the elevator. But only moments later, they were both tackled by a black, smoldering shape. It had a head like the head of a rat, sharp teeth biting into Sprout’s apron. Two snowflake-shaped designs sat on its cheeks, alight with the embers of Noob’s mistake. It went into a death-roll like an alligator, a red-and-white harness sitting on its canine body. A leather bag sat on one side, while a red flag sat at its other side. It threw away Sprout’s burnt body and grabbed Teagan with its strong paws, breaking her leg. It bit down on the other leg, shaking a couple times before dragging Teagan, thrashing and pleading, over to Twisted Bobette, who summarily stomped her head in before petting the beast.
“Oh, who’s a good doggy?” She said in some horrible imitation of a pet owner’s voice.
“Now, Coal, your treat’s over there,” Twisted Bobette said, pointing at Noob.
“Go and get it, boy!” Twisted Bobette ordered, as Twisted Coal ran at full tilt towards Noob. Her eyes, illuminated as they were from fire, shone with what was surely intended to be a calm, self-assured look, but the slight, angered vibrations of her pupils betrayed her true emotions. Noob ducked behind a table as Twisted Coal lunged at them. Coal’s jaws bit down on the table, leaving Noob a precious few seconds before Coal snapped the table into splinters. Noob ate a Ghostburger, and crept silently back into the smoke, with a ghostly murmur. They ran back towards the kitchen, but stopped dead in their tracks as burning Ichor spat down from the ceiling, blocking their path. Noob, panicking, scurried under one of the tables, and hid in the darkness, tipping their hat down to show as little skin as possible. They shut up, as Twisted Bobette, holding Twisted Coal on a “leash” made of Ichor, stalked into view.
“Where are you, you little rascal?” She said in a voice that tried desperately to keep her burning rage at bay. Twisted Coal sniffed around, but as it had not caught Noob’s scent, and it was already being overwhelmed by the flames, it ended up simply sniffing the air endlessly as Twisted Bobette shook her head, and rolled her eyes, before slamming her claws into a table, reducing it to splinters. She walked to the next table, and smashed it, too, to pieces. The next table, and she threw it aside, releasing a horrible noise as it skidded to a stop.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” Twisted Bobette said, in a tone that should’ve reminded them of c00lkid, but instead dripped with a combination of the beastly menace of John Doe and the dreadful, demonic rumble of Guest 666. Noob was overcome with memories of that horrible, horrible day. Both of them died that day, in a way.
“Hold me close,” his final words echoed in Noob’s mind as Bobette stepped towards the table Noob was hiding under.
“I don’t want to die,” Guest 666 whimpered.
“We’re not going to die,” Noob promised.
“I will do everything in my power to live on, for the sake of the times we shared.”
And Noob charged, slashing at Bobette’s legs as Coal scrambled to attention. Noob, not wanting to get mauled, scrambled back up onto the table, dodging a punch by Bobette that dug her claws into the wooden partition. Noob vaulted over the plexiglass on top of it, and Bobette commanded, “Coal, head them off!” While pointing to the left, pulling her unburnt hand back. Noob feinted moving left, and doubled back to the right, Twisted Bobette breaking through the partition attempting to pincer Noob between her and Coal.
“I’ve got you n-wait, where’d they-” Bobette asked in bewilderment before turning around and seeing Noob leaning around a corner, flashing a smug grin as they waved at Bobette, before disappearing around the corner. Bobette let out an infuriated grunt, doubling back through the debris, only to see nothing; Noob had not advanced forwards, nor doubled back, but had instead chosen some Secret Third Direction. Bobette grumbled as Coal returned to their side.

Noob stepped cautiously, as the irritating screeching drilled into their mind. They saw Brightney, limping with a horrifying wound across her back. She turned, and saw Noob.
“What were you thinking?!” She asked.
“I didn’t know about the ACTIVE GAS LEAK. I thought the blast would be contained to the kitchen. It was supposed to take out Bobette.”
Brightney looked at Noob with a disappointed glare.
“I’m sorry. I’ll do everything I can to make this right,” Noob promised. It’s what they would’ve wanted me to be; a responsible, independent Robloxian.”
“Who are they?”
“You wouldn’t know them. You wouldn’t want to, they’re not your crowd,” Noob joked, then shook their hand with their thumb and pinky sticking out, before finally returning to a solemn frown, remembering their lost friends.
“Whoever they are, whatever’s happened…”
She hugged them.
“I forgive you,” Brightney resolved.
“I forgive you,” Noob repeated.
They both gently went back to their original positions.
“We’re the only ones left. We should stick togeth-AGH!”
Brightney grunted as she was tackled by Twisted Coal, fangs sinking into her body as the flames in Coal’s mouth licked at her clothes. Brightney screamed, as Noob tried to unsheath their swords, before she was snapped in half with a sickening CRUNCH.
Ichor splattered out from the initial bite, before dripping placidly out of Twisted Coal’s mouth, before he threw Brightney’s body away to bleed out against a wall. Twisted Bobette came around a corner, following her pet. She saw Noob, and an exasperated, insanity-riddled grin spread across her face. Her pupil vibrated relentlessly in her iris, the sclera gaining the crimson complexion of her coat, bloodshot veins both visible and bulging. She was sweating Ichor, a side-effect of her clothing being, put as charitably as possible, rather ill-suited for physical exertion within a fire-affected environment. The left side of her coat was still smoldering, though, luckily for her, she had already put the fire out. The white fur was colored black with soot, burnt into a bristle of thin, wispy spikes. Her abdomen bulged out as she engaged in a hearty laugh.
“Hahaha…oh, No~ob!” she taunted between chuckles as Twisted Coal stalked around, preventing escape. Noob backed away slowly, hitting the wall.
“Give me the soda in your backpack, PUNK,” Twisted Bobette growled.
“Hmm…no,” Noob denied flatly, with a bored expression.
Twisted Bobette leaned back, reminiscent of someone trying to haggle, complete with the trademark polite-yet-dishonest air surrounding the whole ordeal, and said, “Why not? You’re not using them.”
“Nope. Not giving ‘em to ya in a million years.”
Twisted Bobette, upon hearing this information, leaned back in.
“Oh, it pains me to do this, but I have to. It doesn’t matter if the food likes it or not…a girl’s gotta eat,” Bobette said softly, raising her hand for a haymaker. Noob feigned running left, then doubled back immediately, Bobette plunging her hand into the wallpaper. Grunting in anger, she ripped her hand out, and everything went dark, with a dominating KER-CHUNK, as all the lights, all the flashing alarms and screaming klaxons, went silent. Twisted Bobette couldn’t even scream as she was electrocuted, a fistful of mangled wires still in her hand. Noob, taking their chance, ran away as Twisted Coal, illuminated only by his flaming mouth, scurried to Twisted Bobette’s aid.

Noob, hiding beneath a table, took stock of the situation. 3 generators out of 5 had been done. Razzle & Dazzle had probably succeeded, and they knew for a fact that the western kitchen’s generator had been completed. The dining-room machine was also likely done, which leaves the central generator and the generator inside the northeastern kitchen. They were the only one left, however, and Twisted Bobette, Twisted Coal, and Twisted Yatta were still likely to be active. Twisted Razzle & Dazzle and Twisted Connie were still likely to be a threat, even if Noob might not see much of them. Twisted Bobette and Twisted Coal knew they were somewhere in the main area, and were looking for them. Twisted Yatta might not know, but that means they’d be protecting the dining area. And what’s worse, fire was actively spreading throughout the predominantly-wooden diner. They would need to handle this situation with care, their every move calculated and dripping with poise, evoking the inherent grace of a plan brilliantly concocted and masterfully executed. Genius on the caliber of Napoleon Bonaparte, Hannibal of Carthage, and Alexander the Great was what was required of Noob, and they would--wait. What in the world is Noob doing? Oh--oh my God, they’re just running in. I can’t look.
(Just get through this, and you can go home with a nice fat paycheck, Narrator.)
*Sigh* Fine. Sorry about that.
Noob charged out from beneath the table, making a frenzied beeline for the generator, as Bloxy Cola pumped through their veins. They felt the hot wind on their face as they ran, heart pounding in their chest as their legs felt like they were splitting open, the lactic acids causing their thighs to feel as if they had been pierced with knives. They choked down the excess saliva, their mouth sticky and dry with carbon dioxide. They ran to the generator, and began to quickly turn the valve, Ichor falling quickly into the tank. The backup motor kicked in, with a guttural PFUSHHH-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK-CHUNK, before going into a more peaceful whir. It gasped to life, chunky bits of coagulated Ichor falling into the tank. Twisted Bobette roared, and Noob heard jingling, thundering footsteps at a pace that shouldn’t physically be possible for her size. They quickly got off of the generator, pulling out a Ghostburger and biting into it frantically as Twisted Bobette rounded the corner, grinning madly. Noob tipped their hat and stuffed their hands in their pockets, ducking to the side so as not to be noticed. Bobette looked around for any way for Noob to get out. Noob threw an empty Bloxy Cola can behind them, and Bobette growled furiously as she smashed the table she thought Noob was hiding under, wailing on it relentlessly as she began laughing like a crazed schoolgirl. Noob turned the corner as the effect wore off, and Coal growled, barking madly.
“Oh, it’s just a trick of the light, Coal. Don’t be scared,” Bobette said, finished with her mauling of the table, sifting through the wreckage as Noob ran from Coal. Noob turned the corner and scurried under a table as Twisted Bobette let out an anguished, ear-piercing yell, hoodwinked again.
“NOOB! MARK MY WORDS, WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU, YOUR HEAD IS GONNA BE A TROPHY ON MY MANTELPIECE!” Bobette yelled threateningly.
Noob, meanwhile, couldn’t help but laugh as Twisted Coal growled, trying to stuff his fat little body into the seats, Noob squeezed out onto the seating from the side of the table, dodging Twisted Coal and vaulting over the plexiglass, grabbing at Twisted Bobette’s coattails to slow their fall, sending her crashing into the partition in a shower of splinters and Ichor, as Twisted Coal jumped over the partition onto Twisted Bobette, knocking the wind out of her as Noob escaped. The both of them got up, and Twisted Bobette grumbled, trying to look for Noob once again.

Noob retreated, trying to make Twisted Bobette overextend. They walked to the middle, and yelled to get her attention.
“NO MORE GAMES! NO MORE RUNNING! You want to have my head? Well, come and get it!” they said, arms splayed as if to hug someone.
“I’m RIIIIIIGHT HERE, you big ol’ oaf!” they added, and Twisted Bobette turned the corner, her steps lumbering as her singular eye burned with rage, coat covered in Ichor, littered with wood splinters, and burnt on one side.
“It’s a trap, surely…” she muttered, trying to keep cool in the face of a cocky, slippery punk such as Noob.
“Break the insolent youth upon your palm. Reclaim your peace by force, as violence rules all things,” the Spectre whispered.
Twisted Bobette smiled. She liked the sound of that. She let out an ear-piercing roar, and charged at Noob, screaming madly. Noob drank a Slateskin Potion, and Twisted Bobette grabbed Noob, screaming in their face before chucking them against a wall. Noob slowly got up, pulling out a can of Bloxy Cola, as Twisted Bobette ripped apart the partition to get to Noob faster. The slateskin wore off, and Noob used the speed to sidestep a charge by Twisted Bobette that smashed the drink machines, spraying a jungle-juice of various sodas all over Twisted Bobette. Noob opened the can of Bloxy Cola, and took three sips, throwing a sarcastic, two-fingered salute at Twisted Bobette before leaving. However, they weren’t done yet, as Twisted Coal pounced to block their path. Noob leaned to one side, before sidestepping, sliding under Twisted Coal’s chest as Twisted Coal rolled over in confusion, before disappearing around a corner, into the booths. Noob ate a Ghostburger, vaulting over the end of the booth as Twisted Bobette stormed past, entirely oblivious to their presence.

Noob walked over to the generator, and turned the valve as fast as they could.
“Entertaining work there, Noob,” the Spectre whispered. “Really getting my money’s worth,” it added as the generator finished with a ding. Noob turned and saw Twisted Bobette, standing at the end of the corridor. She was sopping wet with the contents of the drink machines, and she towered over Noob even at such lengths away from them, standing with a look so rageful that it curled back in on its own vitriol and seemed calm. Noob looked back, and Twisted Coal leapt onto the generator, growling.
“NOWHERE TO RUN,” Twisted Bobette decreed.
“NOWHERE TO HIDE,” she said as a smile crept across her face.
“Well, I guess flight’s off the table…” Noob said as they pulled out the two swords on their back.
“...Good thing I can take out a letter.”
Noob rushed forward, ducking between Twisted Bobette’s legs and slashing.

The swords dug into the Ichor, cutting through the muck as Noob dragged them along, before ripping them out with a meaty SHINK, being doused with Ichor. Twisted Bobette screamed as she fell straight onto Twisted Coal, her legs nonfunctioning, as Noob sheathed the swords and ran away.
“THIS ISN’T THE LAST YOU’VE SEEN OF ME, YOU SKUNK!” Twisted Bobette yelled, as Noob disappeared into the darkness.

Noob walked into the dining hall, tables overturned, cut, and stained with Ichor. It was pitch-black, save for the fire in the kitchen and in the main diner area. Twisted Yatta was against the bar, shoveling her Toon counterpart’s remains into her mouth, giggling idly as she gorged herself. Her body was nearly entirely stained black, between the soot at her top end and Ichor at the bottom. Noob stepped carefully so as not to alert her.
“Oh, what kind of show is this? I need action! Drama! Fear!” Noob was compelled to say, rousing Twisted Yatta from her bloodlust, before immediately plunging her back into it as she got up and revved Sweet Tooth, laughing all the while.
“Oh, this’ll be fun!” she said, giggling a bit.
Noob grabbed a chair, and chucked it at Twisted Yatta, who swatted it out of the way, stumbling a bit. Noob grabbed another chair leg, throwing it at Twisted Yatta. She charged them, and Noob sidestepped a chainsaw swing, jumping back as Twisted Yatta spun to re-orient herself. Noob pulled out one of their swords, and blocked the chainsaw, thrusting at Twisted Yatta’s hand. It stabbed deep, and Twisted Yatta grunted as she was forced to let go of the chainsaw with her support hand, leaving only the dominant hand. Twisted Yatta swung wildly as Noob retreated into the kitchen, ducking out of the way of a hissing spout of flame. Noob ran into the storeroom as Twisted Yatta followed closely behind, swinging wildly and sending pots and pans clattering to the floor. Noob slammed the door in Twisted Yatta’s face, and turned to do the generator. As they were doing this, Twisted Yatta pounded on the door.
“You can’t stay in there forever, Noob! You gotta come out at some point! You have to have some food if you don’t wanna starve in there! How about some candy? Sweet, delectable candy…ooh, how does that sound?” Twisted Yatta said between giggles. Noob, upon completing the generator, pulled out a Slateskin Potion. They looked forward, as Twisted Yatta revved up the chainsaw to cut down the door, and then back down at the label. They gripped it tight, and popped the cork, downing the whole bottle. Their skin turned to stone, and they flashed a cocky grin as they ran at the door, smashing into it and blasting it off its hinges.
Twisted Yatta was knocked back into a countertop, and Noob slammed their arm onto Twisted Yatta’s elbow, breaking it. Twisted Yatta screamed, and Noob grabbed Sweet Tooth. As Twisted Yatta whimpered in pain, clutching her arm and wincing, Noob revved the chainsaw. They held it high with a grim look, as Twisted Yatta looked up at her death.
“Wha--how are you-GAH! AHHHHHHHHHH!” she screamed as Noob thrust Sweet Tooth deep into her chest. Her screaming, mixed with the roaring chainsaw, made a horrible cacophony, which Noob stopped, letting go of the chainsaw and leaving it embedded in Twisted Yatta’s chest. She grabbed at it, tried to pull it out, whimpering all the while, until Noob grew impatient and pulled out one of the swords, slashing out Twisted Yatta’s throat with a swift motion before sheathing it once more. They walked out of the kitchen as Twisted Yatta choked on her own Ichor.

Twisted Bobette stood in the dining hall, framed by the fire in the main diner. She had no words to say to Noob. No threats, no bargains, no questions. Only anger was left. She roared. She roared and screamed and yelled, in a deafening display of rage, at the denial of what belonged to her. Noob saw something of Shrimpo in her, and they laughed. Twisted Bobette, offended, charged forth. Noob got up on one of the tables, pulled out their swords, and leaped high into the air. Time seemed to slow as they sailed on a collision course with Twisted Bobette, before they dug the two swords into her star, causing Twisted Bobette to scream as Noob dunked on her. They dropped down, running a victory lap around the diner as Twisted Bobette collapsed to her knees. Their victory, however, was short-lived, as Twisted Bobette got up and yelled, rejuvenated from her humiliation. Noob downed a can of Bloxy Cola to compound the speed gained from the Slateskin Potion’s withdrawal and the adrenaline from the slam dunk. Noob sprinted through the flames with reckless abandon as Bobette, now horribly wounded, ran after them with all the speed she could muster. Noob pushed themselves too, right to the point where they would surely die from a heart attack if they moved any faster, worked any harder, as the elevator door began to descend. Noob screamed as they gained their second wind, sliding beneath the door as it closed with a resounding THUD.

Noob stopped for a few seconds. They got to their feet, panting and sweating. The face of Devan Reed appeared on the TV. “Great job, Noob. Corporate has deemed this venture a success.”
Noob, at this news, dropped to their knees in exhaustion…and laughed. They laughed until their eyes were blurry with tears and their heart seized in their chest. They laughed at the Spectre’s champions, wherever they were. They laughed at the handlers. They laughed at Shrimpo. They laughed at the world. They laughed at the gods. They laughed at their old self…and promptly fell over, unconscious.

Notes:

Now that I’ve gotten into the groove of AO3 and found my footing, if there’s anything you’d like to see, leave a comment down below and let me know. I’m always open to constructive criticism.

Chapter 10: Update

Summary:

An update regarding the fic, and where I've been.

Hello, fine people! It's been 2 months! As it turns out, the summer did NOT, in fact, lead to a boom in productivity, but instead left me rotting in my room! Fun!

But you may be asking why I bulldozed over 007n7's existing chapter to tell you this.
Well, to tell the truth, I didn't like it.
I didn't like the way the episode was going, so I scrapped it, and I'm making a new one, as well as making some other general tweaks to the storyline, to make it more connected and have an actual timeline of events while still preserving the idea of the stories being somewhat self-contained.
There will be tweaks to other aspects as well, such as returning to the original schedule of episodes being released when they are fully finished.
It'll have some delightful mystery between Arthur and Delilah, as in the original vision, the idea of the Center being in operation once again was kind of thrown to the side in favor of blind action. Don't get me wrong, there will still be tons of action moments, but the action will complement the story rather than supplant it.
The characters will also act much closer to their in-game personalities, as while the characterizations I had made for them were entertaining, they were also incredibly wrong, which led to a lot of laughs when I read Noob's chapter again after actually playing the game.
And finally, the killers will play a more consistent role in the story, with one of the killers appearing in every episode, and all of them will play different roles rather than just antagonists; for example, c00lkidd plays the hero and secondary protagonist of 007n7's episode, while playing a more of an unpredictable wild card in Elliot's episode. Dandy himself will also be more relevant to the story, rather than just being kind of...there.
So! What now? Well, first of all, I'll be working on 007n7's episode, to make some wholly new content for you, before circling back to Noob, and then finally working on the episodes sequentially. The first chapter of 007n7's episode will be released shortly after this is posted, with other chapters to follow once all of them are done.

Chapter 11: Episode 5: Rodger, c00lkidd, and 007n7 in...Hacker Headhunt

Summary:

After 007n7 goes missing due to an accident with the c00lgui, Elliot, a group of Toons, and an unlikely ally are sent down to save him.

Notes:

Recommended Song: MY HAPPY PLACE - Forsaken OST

The Center was awash with relief, as its central atrium was filled with banners and streamers, though with an atmosphere less like a birthday party and more like a suburban barbeque, as the welcome ceremony, orchestrated by Dandy, was in full swing. Despite the party not necessarily living up to expectations, the ice was broken nonetheless.
Noob was regaling Toodles with the tale of how all of these decorations were obtained, covering their face with a gloved hand and waving around one of their katanas to imitate the Slasher they had avoided so diligently, while Brightney imitated the lumbering steps of Twisted Bobette, which Noob and the other Toons had woven through many times.

Teagan, Chance, and Glisten were sitting off to the side, Teagan watching Toodles while Chance and Glisten gushed compliments about each other’s outfits. Chance was wearing their signature fedora, glasses, and headphones, all painted a golden yellow, and was coming dangerously close to stepping on a few toes with the black feather boa sitting on their shoulders. They had on a black vest and pants, but their arms were festooned with the yellow, white, purple, and black of the non-binary flag. Glisten, meanwhile, had a pink sweater-vest over a white undershirt, its collar peeking out from under the vest. The bow, however, was still very much visible, and was in fact absolutely covered in glitter, some of which was flaking down onto his purple bell-bottoms. Both of them held cool, refreshing glasses of lemonade, while Teagan was helping herself to…well, herself.

007n7 and Elliot were fighting over the grill, while Sprout and Cosmo were trying to de-escalate the situation.
“C’mon, I know how to grill! Every dad does!” 007n7 argued.
“No, I’M the cook here, all YOU know how to do is burn stuff down!” Elliot shot back.
“Hey, don’t say that! He hasn’t even gotten on the grill yet!” Cosmo said, trying to just get this over with.
Elliot turned to Cosmo, and said determinedly, “And by the Admins, it’ll stay that way, Cosmo!”
“Hey, don’t talk like that! This is a welcome party, remember?” Sprout interjected.
“Yeah, and I’m not ‘welcoming’ 007n7 to burn it down,” Elliot said with a humph.
Cosmo sighed, and Sprout shrugged.

Astro was reading off to the side, with Dusekkar attempting to coax him into the proceedings, while Austin Russo stood behind him.
“The party is starting, all favored guests - must be in attendance, or ruin it lest - Your presence is heartening, and at your behest - So come with us and stay, and the Center is blessed.”
“T-That’s great, but…egh, me and Dandy, uhh…not on the best of terms.”
“A flower will stop you, a wizard of stars?! - Oh, what has it come to, this world of ours? - This enmity is fleeting, it shan’t be prison bars - So get up and move, and the day shall be ours!”
Astro looked down, and gave an anguished look.
“I’m…agh, I get that I’m part of the Main casting, but…that still doesn’t mean I have to go.”
“But…uh…it kinda does. It does mean you have to go,” Austin reminded Astro.
Dusekkar turned to Austin, and put a hand on his shoulder. “Now, now, dear apprentice, the gentlest touch - can be all that is needed to get up and rush - for the soul is but sacred, its loneliness crushed - under gentle compassion and the hand’s loving touch.”
Astro looked down, and pressed himself further into the book.

Guest 1337 had been appointed to watch Connie and Gigi, to ensure the troublemaking duo couldn’t steal anything or otherwise ruin the festivities. (Shrimpo would have also been guarded, but he declined to attend outright.) Rodger and Tisha had also been assigned for this task, but seeing as the two had mostly behaved thus far, were now simply talking. Guest 1337 himself had been dressed in a much more formal outfit, with a red suit jacket and black dress pants, with a black vest and tie underneath. A gold chain sat dangling at his waist, and jewelry resembling a halo sat atop his blue hair. While he would have been more receptive to his dress uniform, they had at least let him add a gold-yellow epaulette on his shoulder to keep some semblance of military decorum. Rodger, meanwhile, kept sneaking glances back at Toodles, still enraptured by Noob’s performance.
Not far from them, Two Time was busy drawing unsettling sigils and pentagrams on a piece of paper, as Devan Reed sat next to them, visibly uncomfortable.

Builderman was busy supervising Goob and Scraps as they played mechanic with one of his sentry guns, which had been emptied of ammunition beforehand. Meanwhile, Shelly was attempting to join in, but was being gently held back by Shanon Mendez, who was trying to dust her off after playing in the dirt. It was then that Vee walked up to the scene, with Hurley in tow.
“Hey. Builderman, right?”
“In the flesh. What do you need, repairs? Spare parts?” Builderman asked, pulling out his claw hammer.
“No, no, no, not that. I’m more asking why it’s going so…well. Like, I haven’t heard a peep all week and then suddenly they’re talking everyone’s ears off. What gives?”
Builderman looked up at the skylight, rays of golden sunshine raining down upon them.
“I mean, the thing that made us talk is the bond we made by the Spectre’s games. We were all in a shared danger, so naturally we banded together, and upon banding together, we began to talk.”
“Okay…that’s just how socializing works. Can you get to the point?”
“Yes. Essentially, we just needed a little push, and Noob gave us that. And besides, they’re a good kid. We don’t wanna make their work all for nothing.”
“Aww, how sweet,” Vee said in a tone that was convincing absolutely nobody.
Builderman sighed, and went back to watching the craft siblings.

And Shedletsky, for his part, was talking to Arthur and Delilah, who were watching the festivities from afar despite being somewhat adjacent to guests of honor.
“Y’know, with all this new-fangled technology, I’m surprised anyone still even has the idea, or even the time, to throw a good, old-fashioned party,” Arthur said.
“Cake, lemonade…no chicken legs, though,” Shedletsky griped.
“Well, we didn’t have any. Sorry, Shedletsky.”
Shedletsky waved it off, saying, “Nah, it’s fine.”
“I brought my own,” he said as he pulled out a whole chicken leg from his shorts, much to Delilah’s dismay and confusion.
“I-wh-eugh,” she said as she inched away from Shedletsky.
“Oh, don’t say that, Delilah. They’re fine,” Arthur said to reassure her of the safety of eating a turkey leg that someone’s kept in their pants all day.
“If his legs have touched even a drop of Ichor, I’m not having a bite…honestly, I’m not having a bite, regardless,” Delilah said with a hmph.
Arthur and Shedletsky looked at each other and shrugged, while Delilah mumbled, “I swear, every time I think I’ve seen everything from these people…”

And then, suddenly, an elevator rang, and the festivities ground to a screeching halt as everyone looked to the elevators. They wondered who could possibly be missing. They wondered if it was a Twisted. Even Arthur and Delilah were puzzled. Every survivor and Toon had been accounted for, and all of the Survivors were in attendance. (Except for Taph, who had stayed cooped up in his room.) So who could this possibly be?

The doors opened, and inside stood not a man, but a thing. It towered over everyone in attendance, even Sprout, and in its hands it held a crackling sword. An inscription had been carved into its chest, the text so long that some had spilled over onto its arms. A permanent, chilling smile had been etched on its face, unmoving even when it spoke, for c00lkidd had arrived, and all was lost.
The world stood still for a few moments, as the partygoers processed this information.
And then, all hell broke loose. Arthur, along with most of the Survivors, ran for the hills, screaming his head off. Guest 1337 ran at c00lkidd to knock him back into the elevator, while Elliot ran at him with a grilling fork, which the red-skinned beast easily redirected, sending Elliot to the ground. He spotted 007n7, in the middle of using the c00lgui to teleport away, and pressed his own c00lgui. He rushed, with inhuman speed, towards the former hacker, and caught him in a great big hug, c00lkidd’s hand brushing up against 007n7’s c00lgui, instantly sending him away.
“Oh, it’s so nice to see you, da-wait. Where’d he go?” c00lkidd asked, bewildered at 007n7’s sudden disappearance.

Eventually, the survivors creeped out of hiding to meet the now-docile killer, including Arthur, who was now markedly more confident in c00lkidd’s passivity compared to the others. The Toons, meanwhile, mostly regarded him with a mix of awe and bewilderment. After the initial shock of seeing c00lkidd died down, and nearly every survivor was accounted for, thanks to Vee’s interfacing with the Center’s security cameras, the problem of where in the world 007n7 had went finally took the stage.
“Alright, now that everyone ELSE is here…what about 007n7?” Arthur asked.
“How can he always say that name perfectly?” Delilah asked herself.

Vee sat down again, and every single one of the entire facility’s camera feeds flashed in quick succession on her monitor. Once, she checked. Twice. Three times. NEXT TIME, TRY FOUR CAMERAS! And yet…
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
“What do you mean, nothing? It’s not like he can go invisible,” Delilah said annoyedly, prompting Arthur to open his mouth to correct her but deciding against it. And suddenly, he got an idea.
“Hey, how about checking the lower levels?”
“Tried. All the cameras down there are just filled with worthless ads, and there’s only one concrete way to get a reboot, being the office on Floor 8. It’s the only one that I know has an intact security office.”
“Great! Let’s get down there, then!” Arthur said.
“Not so fast. The lights got knocked out down there, and the power as a whole is completely gone from floors 3 through 11. Which means we need to get THAT back on. And the breaker is somewhere on Floor 5.”
“Oh, this ABSOLUTELY smells like a trap. Why don’t we just wait for 007n7 to get caught by a Twisted and get reformed back up here?” Delilah asked.
Arthur, Guest, and Shedletsky looked at her like she had just proposed skinning a puppy.

“...I’m not opposed,” Elliot said with a shrug. “Hated the guy anyways.”
“Well, we know at least ONE of the people who’s going on the rescue team,” Dandy interjected, with a hint of venom in his voice.
“Ooh! I wanna go! I wanna go!” c00lkidd said, raising his hand eagerly.
“Sure, you can come along,” Arthur said in a fatherly voice.
“Oh! Oh! Can I come, too?” Toodles asked.
Dandy thought about it for a few seconds before nodding, eliciting a triumphant “YES!” from Toodles.
“Well, if Toodles is tagging along, I suppose I must go as well, given I’m practically her babysitter at this point,” Rodger said.
“And speaking of people who kinda have to go, I’m also a gimme. Any other problems down there, I can fix with my diagnostic knowledge,” Vee said. Builderman looked at her bewilderedly, and Vee shooed him off; he should go and enjoy what was left of the party.
“I’m coming along, too!” Poppy said, and just like that, she was on the team as well.
“...oh, fine. I guess I can come along, also. I just want this party back up and running,” Glisten said. Dandy initially seemed hesitant, but Glisten disarmed it quite quickly.
“I guess I’ll be tagging along as well! I don't want you to be swimming with the fishes, so I’ll try to kelp as much as I can!” Finn said, and Dandy seemed quite on-board with his presence.
And finally, Chance raised his hand, saying, “Hey, someone’s gotta give some good luck. Besides, this whole shindig sounds like fun.”
Dandy knocked against the bakelite paneling of the elevator (that’s close enough to wood, isn’t it?) and let them aboard.
And thus, the eight of them were waved off with some complementary slices of cake and glasses of lemonade.
And as Arthur saw them off, and watched the elevator number descend, the faintest hint of a grin began to dance across his face.

Notes:

next time try three months without a chapter