Saiyan Dad Crisis

by Freyaaaaa_03

Summary:

What happens when You, Bulma and Chi-Chi get pregnant AT THE SAME TIME!? Well you’re going to have to read to find out 🙊 ohh and they all live in Capsule Corp. because it’s just waaay more chaotic that way.

Notes:

So I came up with this idea of having the 3 toughest Saiyans in the universe, who have literally battled GODS, succumbing to the most brutally, amazing battle yet: FATHERHOOD. lol

This is going to be a chaotic ride so strap on in!

Quick note: this fic is currently being edited but please enjoy in the mean time <3

Chapter 1: We Need to Talk…

It started like any normal Saturday morning in the Capsule Corp kitchen.

Goku had already eaten two boxes of cereal and was halfway through pouring chocolate syrup into the milk like it was a gourmet recipe. Chi-Chi, radiant in a silky robe, leaned against the doorway with a secretive little smirk. Raditz, shirtless and flexing for nobody but himself, caught his own reflection in the toaster and whispered, “Damn, I’d breed with me too.”

Meanwhile, Vegeta was sulking on the balcony with his arms crossed, sipping the bitterest coffee Bulma could find, refusing to acknowledge the rising sun like it had insulted him personally.

And then you walked in.

Just… glowing.

Literally. The kind of glow that made you look suspiciously angelic for someone who used to scream at Vegeta for leaving socks everywhere and yelling at squirrels during his morning training.

Vegeta squinted at you.

“Why do you look like you’ve been possessed by a space deity?”

You smiled. “I’ve been possessed by something. Wanna guess?”

Goku, now eating syrup straight from the bottle, perked up. “Ooo! Ooo! Is it food? Did you bring food?!”

Chi-Chi snorted behind her hand.

Bulma waltzed in next, looking smug in a Capsule Corp crop top and leggings. She tossed a tiny knitted onesie straight onto Raditz’s shoulder.

The room paused.

Raditz stared at the onesie like it had insulted his mother. “…What is this. Why is it so small? Is this for a puppy? Or a very buff squirrel?”

Bulma grinned like a Bond villain. “It’s for our baby, genius.”

Vegeta’s coffee cup shattered mid-sip.

Chi-Chi, beaming, reached into her robe and pulled out a pregnancy test like it was a sword of victory. “Me too. Surprise!”

Goku dropped his syrup bottle in slow motion.

But you? You let the silence hang… then, with the most dramatic flair possible, held up three fingers.

Three.

Vegeta’s eyes twitched.

And then you pointed to yourself.

And then straight at him.

There was no explosion, no battle cry, no charging ki.

Just three Saiyans, staring at their wives in complete, paralyzed, pure dad-panic.

“WHAT?!” all three of them screamed in perfect unison.

Goku tripped over a chair. Raditz tried to flex through the panic. Vegeta short-circuited so hard his scouter would’ve sparked if he was still wearing one.

You leaned in, calm and unbothered. “Congratulations, boys. You’re gonna be daddies.”

⸻

Ten Minutes Later…

All three Saiyans were huddled in the hallway like it was a war strategy meeting. Goku was pacing in frantic circles. Raditz was frantically flipping through a “So You’re Gonna Be a Dad!” magazine that Bulma had shoved into his hands. Vegeta was just standing completely still, muttering, “No. No. This is some kind of hormonal illusion. Or a prank. Yes. That spawn of Kakarot probably used the Dragon Balls to curse us all.”

“She did not use the Dragon Balls,” Raditz snapped, flipping to a page titled “Poop Happens” with increasing horror.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong!” Goku wailed. “I mean… I did the thing, but I didn’t think it would lead to THIS!”

“That is LITERALLY what the thing is for!” Vegeta yelled, slamming his hand against the wall. “We’re Saiyans, not clueless Earthlings! HOW did this happen at the same time?!”

“I don’t know, Prince, maybe we’re just really good at syncing up our romantic calendars!” Raditz shouted, throwing the magazine into the air and catching it upside down. “Did anyone else just stop breathing for the last five minutes? Because I can’t feel my lungs.”

“YOU DON’T NEED LUNGS TO PANIC!” Vegeta barked.

From inside the kitchen, the sound of “Baby Shark” began to play softly on someone’s phone.

All three Saiyans flinched like it was a war horn.

⸻

Meanwhile… back with the girls.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi were lounging on the couch, feet up, sipping mocktails and watching the chaos unfold via hidden Capsule Corp nanny-cam footage on the TV screen.

Chi-Chi leaned over and high-fived you. “Triple knockout. Legendary.”

Bulma sipped her cucumber water. “I say we give them one more hour before we let them touch the ultrasounds.”

You giggled. “One more hour and Vegeta might actually rip a hole in the universe out of sheer stress.”

⸻

Back in the hallway…

“Okay okay okay,” Goku panted, “Let’s focus on solutions! Maybe we ask Dende if this is like… a test? A Saiyan dad test? We’ve faced worse! Like Cell! And broccoli! And—”

“Broly,” Raditz corrected.

“Right, him too.”

Vegeta growled. “There’s only one logical explanation. This is some sort of coordinated Earthling scheme. They did this together. There were charts involved. And candles. And synchronized moon cycles!”

Raditz froze. “Oh my god. The spa night. Remember the spa night? When they all went out and came back weirdly giggly and smelling like lavender?!”

Vegeta’s eyes widened. “This was premeditated.”

Goku blinked. “Wait… are you saying this was… a trap?!”

Raditz’s hands gripped the sides of his head. “A triple trap!”

⸻

Cut to: Z-Fighter Dad Panic HQ.

Goku is now trying to meditate while chanting “baby food is not scary” under his breath.
Raditz has googled “how to raise a baby without losing your abs.”
Vegeta is in the gravity chamber yelling at a floating diaper like it’s Frieza.

⸻

And then you walk in.

All of you.

Three very pregnant, glowing women… with folders.

Color-coded folders.

“Oh no,” Vegeta whispers.

Bulma grins and hands Raditz the blue folder: “Daddy To-Do List: Month One.”
Chi-Chi hands Goku his: “Birth Plan: With Diagrams!”
You hand yours to Vegeta… who stares at the front in horror.

“VEGETA’S GUIDE TO NESTING & EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.”

His eye twitches.

You kiss his cheek sweetly. “We start prenatal yoga Monday.”

He opens the folder.

There’s glitter.

There’s pastel paper.

There’s a tiny drawing of him holding a baby.

He growls. “I’m going to destroy something.”

You pat his chest. “Not until after the birthing class, my love.”

Goku has fainted. Raditz is holding an empty baby bottle like it’s a grenade.

And thus begins the greatest challenge the Saiyans have ever faced.

Fatherhood.

Chapter 2: You Smell Like Emotions and I Hate It

Summary:

Pregnancy sympathy symptoms absolutely wrecking Vegeta, Raditz and Goku. Like gagging, crying over commercials, and hiding in the backyard because our hormones are “too powerful.”

The first signs were subtle.

Goku started gagging every time Chi-Chi opened a jar of pickles.

Raditz burst into tears watching a commercial for paper towels.

And Vegeta… Vegeta woke up screaming because he dreamed someone dropped a baby in a puddle of mustard and he couldn’t save it in time.

By day three, the Saiyans were no longer pretending to be fine.

They were not fine.

⸻

It started that morning during breakfast.

You placed a fresh plate of scrambled eggs, avocado toast, and pickles on the table—your new pregnancy craving—and smiled sweetly at Vegeta.

His face paled like he’d seen Frieza’s ghost.

“I—I can’t,” he choked, slapping a hand over his mouth and sprinting to the sink like it was a battlefield. “WHY DO YOU SMELL LIKE BRINE AND DOOM?!”

You blinked. “What—?”

From the hallway, Goku stumbled in with tissues shoved up his nostrils.

“I SMELL HER TOO!” he cried. “IT’S IN THE WALLS!”

Chi-Chi scowled. “It’s pickles, Goku, PICKLES. It’s not a demon!”

Raditz stumbled in last, clutching a water bottle like a holy relic. “Bulma… I’m so sorry… but if I get within five feet of you, I think I’m gonna cry and throw up at the same time.”

Bulma’s eye twitched. “It’s LAVENDER LOTION, RADITZ. You liked it last week!”

“I liked it before it attacked my senses with FLORAL EMOTIONAL TRAUMA!”

All three Saiyans were in the backyard. Shirtless. Pale. Breathing heavily.

They were sitting inside a kiddie pool filled with cold water and muttering to themselves like war veterans.

“I used to be a warrior,” Vegeta said hollowly. “I fought gods. Now I cry when she plays violin music.”

“I smelled her shampoo and blacked out in the shower,” Raditz added.

“Chi-Chi hugged me and I saw time fold in half,” Goku whispered, staring into space. “She smells like… feelings.”

Inside the house, you and the girls were watching from the window.

Bulma sipped her smoothie. “I give them two more days before one of them demands bedrest.”

Chi-Chi laughed. “Goku asked if he was lactating yesterday.”

You nearly choked. “VEGETA THREW UP ON HIS BOOTS!”

Later that night…

You found Vegeta lying on the floor of the gravity chamber. Shirt off. Eyes wide. Hair somehow extra spiky from sheer trauma.

You gently nudged him with your foot. “Baby, you okay?”

He lifted one trembling hand. “You… radiate… pheromones of war.”

You snorted. “I’m literally sitting down with a smoothie watching Gilmore Girls.”

“Exactly,” he gasped. “The emotions. They hit me. Like a Kamehameha. But from the inside.”

You crouched down beside him, placing a cool hand on his forehead. “Aw, my poor prince. Should I get the lavender essential oils again?”

He screamed.

⸻

Cut to: the next morning.

Goku’s sitting on the roof.

Genuinely. On the roof. Wrapped in a blanket. Drinking iced tea from a thermos.

“Too many smells,” he whispered to the clouds. “Too many FEELINGS.”

Down below, Chi-Chi stormed out holding a tupperware of kimchi and peanut butter. “THIS IS ALL I WANT TO EAT RIGHT NOW!”

Goku gagged audibly.

Raditz was in the Capsule Corp living room with two nose plugs, wearing sunglasses and headphones. Bulma waved a piece of toast near him.

“I MADE YOU THIS.”

He started sobbing.

“I just wanted you to rest!” he wailed. “I can’t eat! I can’t look at you! I want to hold you but if I smell those raspberry muffins one more time I’ll—hiccup—EXPLODE FROM THE INSIDE!”

Vegeta, meanwhile, had locked himself in the upstairs bathroom. He slid a note under the door to you:

Dear Woman,
I am going into heat death.
Your aura has become a weapon.
Also, I cried at the dog in that bakery movie.
Please send crackers.
• Vegeta.

⸻

Symptom Tracker (Week 2):
• Goku: Mistook a watermelon for a baby. Cried. Hid in a bush when Chi-Chi opened tuna.
• Raditz: Developed pregnancy cravings he doesn’t actually have. Demanded pickled donuts at 3am.
• Vegeta: Sleeps with a lavender sachet… but denies it furiously if you bring it up.

⸻

Final straw?

You came downstairs wearing one of Vegeta’s shirts and holding your bump, humming to yourself.

Goku burst into tears.
Raditz dry-heaved into a plant.
Vegeta ran out the front door and screamed into the yard:
“I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS! TAKE ME TO THE NEXT DIMENSION!”

You smirked at Bulma. “Should we tell them this is only the second trimester?”

Chi-Chi grinned. “Let’s wait until one of them tries to build a crib.”

Chapter 3: It’s a What?!

Summary:

Saiyan gender reveal disaster.

Capsule Corp. Garden:

The setup? Oh, it’s dramatic.

There’s a giant floating capsule-shaped balloon for each couple. Inside each one? A powder core with the baby’s gender. Thanks to Bulma’s overachieving brilliance, they’ve been programmed to pop simultaneously—with visual effects, fireworks, and glitter smoke.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are sitting on fancy chairs in front of a decorative banner that says:
“WHO’S YOUR BABY?!”
(Goku read it earlier and thought it meant he had to guess. He started pointing at squirrels.)

All three Saiyan men stand stiffly nearby, arms crossed, eyes narrowed like they’re facing final bosses.

Raditz: “Why does this feel like a trap?”

Vegeta: “Because it is a trap.”

Goku: “I brought popcorn!”

⸻

The Countdown Begins.

Bulma presses a button on her Capsule remote.

“Three… two… ONE!”

BOOOOM!

The capsules explode in a rainbow-glitter firestorm, lighting up the sky with three bursts of glowing PINK powder.

Confetti rains down.

A chorus of baby giggles (preloaded audio file, thanks Bulma) echoes through the air.

And then… silence.

Dead. Silence.

Three massive Saiyans stand frozen in place, pink glitter clinging to their hair, their armor, their souls.

Goku: blink “…That’s… pink.”

Raditz: “What does that mean?!”

Bulma raises an eyebrow. “What do you think it means, muscle brain?”

Vegeta staggers back a step. “No. No. That’s not… That’s not real. That’s… a false color! You tampered with the explosion!”

You hold up the ultrasound photo, waving it like a flag of feminine doom. “Say it, babe.”

He stares at it like it’s a cursed talisman.

You grin. “We’re having a girl.”

Chi-Chi beams. “All of us are!”

Raditz begins to hyperventilate. “Girls? GIRLS?! With tiny shoes and feelings and *high-pitched questions I won’t know how to answer?!”

Goku looks down at the pink sparkles on his shirt. “I’m gonna have to braid things….”

Vegeta falls to his knees, gripping the dirt like the ground betrayed him. “I’m cursed. The Saiyan line is being overtaken by glitter and emotional sabotage.”

And then—

THUD.

All three Saiyans fall flat.

Out. Cold.

Goku with a dumb grin still on his face.
Raditz mumbling, “Hair bows… so many hair bows…”
Vegeta with his fists clenched, dramatically whispering, “This is how I die.”

⸻

Fifteen Minutes Later…

The guys are passed out on matching lounge chairs with cold cloths on their heads.

Bulma: “Should we slap them awake or let them process in peace?”

Chi-Chi: “I vote slap.”

You: “Wait, wait. Watch this.”

You lean close to Vegeta’s ear and whisper:

“She’s going to call you Daddy.”

He bolts upright, screams, and flings the cold cloth across the garden like it’s cursed.

⸻

Post-Reveal Fallout:

Goku starts practicing piggyback rides with pillows tied to his back.
Raditz buys thirty parenting books and demands to know what a “baby wipe warmer” is.
Vegeta holes up in the gravity chamber muttering, “I must become stronger than hair ribbons…”

But by nighttime?

You find him sitting in bed, staring at a tiny pink sock like it’s a divine relic.

He clears his throat. “If… she wants a pony… we’ll get a damn pony. No more talking.”

You kiss his cheek. “You’re gonna be the best girl dad in the universe.”

He blushes so hard he nearly explodes.

Chapter 4: Nesting Apocalypse

Summary:

Nesting madness X3

It began with the delivery of The Boxes.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi watched as Capsule Corp hovertrucks unloaded dozens of enormous packages labeled with cheerful, pastel phrases:
• “Princess StarDream Crib™”
• “Sweet Sleepy Cloud Mobile™”
• “Galactic Nightlight of Cuteness™”
• “Daddy’s Little Warrior Decor Set – Pink Edition”

Goku peeked inside one and gasped. “This looks like a mission. With screws.”

Vegeta stared at a manual written entirely in Comic Sans and sneered. “What the HELL is an Allen wrench and why does it mock me?”

Raditz just stood there holding a bag of fuzzy wall stickers, paralyzed.

“It’s a herd of unicorns… and they have glitter.”

⸻

The Dads Make A Plan (aka: doomed from the start)

Operation Nest Fest:
• Raditz is in charge of furniture.
• Goku is on decoration duty.
• Vegeta supervises the entire operation because he doesn’t trust anyone (but mostly because he refuses to touch plush pastels).

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are on the other side of the house with snacks, mocktails, and a secret camera feed projected onto the living room screen.

Chi-Chi: “Ten bucks says Goku uses Instant Transmission to ‘fix’ something and warps it to the wrong place.”

Bulma: “Five says Vegeta punches a teddy bear by accident.”

You: “I give them an hour before Raditz starts threatening a diaper pail.”

⸻

Hour One: Denial and Overconfidence

Goku spins into the room like a tornado, carrying six rolls of princess wallpaper.

“I GOT THIS!!” he yells, slapping them all on the wall upside down.

Vegeta’s eye twitches. “You have NOTHING. You have chaos.”

Raditz stands over the SweetDream Crib™ box. “I’ve assembled combat-grade battle armor. This? This is child’s play.”

Five seconds later he opens the box.

Hundreds of tiny, labeled parts spill out like a glittery avalanche. One bag literally says “mystery screws.”

He makes a sound that can only be described as internal screaming.

⸻

Hour Two: The Fall of Pride

Vegeta’s POV:

“I am the Prince of All Saiyans. I have destroyed planets, conquered empires, stared down gods…”

He stands frozen in front of a wall decal that reads:

“Twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are?”

The pink cursive letters sparkle. The tiny moons and clouds are smiling. There’s a happy sun.

He rips it down.

It resticks itself.

He tries again.

It laughs. (Okay, it doesn’t, but in his head it does.)

You find him 15 minutes later on the floor, surrounded by sticker carnage, quietly whispering, “She’s going to want tea parties. I don’t know how to pour fake tea.”

You crouch beside him, brush his hair out of his face, and smile.

“We’ll practice. You’ll have a tea ceremony stance by next week.”

Vegeta does not cry.

Vegeta’s eye… slightly waters. It’s the humidity.

⸻

Hour Three: Disaster Reaches Maximum Velocity

Goku’s Room:

He’s attached four mobiles to the ceiling.

They are spinning in opposite directions.

One has a galaxy theme. One has dinosaurs. One has clouds with smiley faces. The last one is literally a model of King Kai’s planet.

He beams proudly. “I wanted to make sure the baby sees everything!”

Chi-Chi finds him putting glitter paint on the windows.

“GOKU.”

“It’s sparkly! She’ll love it!”

He sneezes mid-paint-stroke and blasts a starburst onto the ceiling.

“IT’S ART NOW!”

⸻

Raditz’s Room:

The crib is upside down.

He has a helmet on. And gloves.

“I AM NOT LOSING TO A PIECE OF WOOD.”

Bulma walks in and finds him growling at a stuffed animal. “That giraffe looked at me funny.”

He accidentally steps on a squeaky bunny toy and flings a rattle across the room on reflex. It sticks into the wall like a kunai.

He pants. “These are traps. This is war.”

Bulma hugs him from behind. “You’re doing great, babe.”

He goes completely still. “…It squeaked at me.”

⸻

Vegeta’s Room:

Somehow he’s won.

The nursery is pristine. Minimalist. Black and white theme with soft accents.

There’s one pastel pink blanket.

One.

And yet, he’s glaring at it like it personally betrayed him.

You walk in and smile. “It’s beautiful.”

He frowns. “I didn’t even break anything. That… worries me.”

You kiss his cheek. “You’re ready for this.”

He mutters, “If she asks for a pony, it better be combat-trained.”

⸻

Later That Night: Secret Soft Dad Club

The three Saiyans reconvene in the kitchen.

Covered in paint, glitter, glue, and what might be mashed banana.

Goku: “I accidentally sang a lullaby while working. I… kinda liked it.”

Raditz: “I watched a video of a dad brushing his baby’s hair. I cried.”

Vegeta: “…I bought a teddy bear.”

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi walk in at that exact moment.

They all freeze like they’ve been caught with smut magazines.

You: “Did you say teddy bear?”

Vegeta growls. “It’s not for me. It’s for her.”

You smirk. “Sure, babe.”

⸻

Final Scene:

Each of the men stands in their respective nurseries that night.

Goku places a soft little moon lamp by the crib and smiles.
Raditz tucks a small blaster-shaped plush near the pillow, just in case.
Vegeta stares down at the tiny onesie you folded on the shelf. It says “Daddy’s Girl.”

He picks it up like it’s fragile porcelain. For once… his hands don’t shake from fear. They shake from something else.

Something real.

He whispers, “I’ll protect you. Always.”

Chapter 5: Crying Over Pickles

Summary:

Hormones and full on cravings.

Capsule corp. Kitchen 3:07AM

You wake up drenched in sweat, craving one thing and one thing only:

Pickles.

Cold. Juicy. Briny. Heaven-in-a-jar pickles.

You waddle to the kitchen in a blanket cape, grumbling like a hormonal dragon. Chi-Chi’s already there—wild hair, one slipper on, frantically tearing through cabinets.

Chi-Chi: “THEY WERE HERE YESTERDAY. I SAW THEM. I COUNTED SIX.”

You: “Someone ate my pickles?!”

Chi-Chi whirls on you. “OUR PICKLES.”

Bulma enters like a banshee in silk pajamas, mascara smudged from a dream-induced cry.

Bulma: “WHO ATE THE PICKLES?!”

Now it’s a full-blown pregnancy conference call in the kitchen. Hormones. Blankets. Belly rubbing. And absolute rage.

You all scream in unison:
“GET THE GUYS!!”

⸻

Smash Cut: Saiyan Wake-Up Call

Goku wakes up mid-snore.
Raditz falls out of bed with a battle cry.
Vegeta is already standing in the hallway like a cursed gargoyle: “I felt a disturbance…”

Goku stumbles into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. “Is someone giving birth?!”

Chi-Chi: “No. Someone stole the pickles.”

Raditz: “Wait—those pickles?”

Bulma gasps. “YOU ATE THEM?!”

Raditz: “No! No! I just… I just smelled them once! That’s it, I swear!”

Vegeta leans against the wall, half-asleep. “What are pickles.”

You shove a photo of the jar in his face. “THIS IS A PICKLE.”

Goku: “I thought that was a cucumber that got cursed.”

⸻

Full Breakdown:

Bulma slams her fists on the counter. “There were SIX. SIX PERFECT PICKLES. I was going to eat them with cheese cubes and olives while watching Love Island: Galactic Edition!”

Chi-Chi is crying into a spoon. “I just wanted to dip them in peanut butter and cry in the bathtub! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!”

You wail: “MY CHILD IS ASKING FOR PICKLES. I CANNOT DENY HER.”

Goku panics. “Okay okay okay! I’ll make some!”

Raditz: “HOW DO YOU MAKE PICKLES?!”

Vegeta squints. “Don’t you just fight a cucumber?”

Bulma, scream-crying: “DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE TWO WEEKS FOR FERMENTATION?!”

⸻

Emergency Plan: Grocery Run at 3:15 AM

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi collapse on the couch in synchronized sobs.

Vegeta looks at Raditz.
Raditz looks at Goku.
Goku: “Let’s just find some pickles before we die.”

Mission: Operation Pickle Dash
– Objective: Secure at least 12 jars.
– Threat level: Ultra Hormonal.
– Time Limit: NOW.

Vegeta kicks open the front door. “Capsule bike. Now.”
Goku teleports to three grocery stores.
Raditz kicks down a vending machine. For fun.

⸻

Meanwhile: Capsule Corp Cries and Curses

You’re sobbing into a fuzzy pillow.

Chi-Chi is dramatically whispering to her baby bump: “They’ll never know how hard it was. The pickle drought of 2025…”

Bulma has made a list titled “Men Who Betrayed Me by Eating My Pickles” with all three Saiyans’ names.

⸻

Saiyans Return – 4:12 AM

Goku appears first, covered in confetti.

Goku: “I FOUND A 24-HOUR MINI-MART THAT HAD A PICKLE PROMOTION!”

He drops ten jars like treasure. “They gave me a Pickle Warrior sash.”

Raditz stumbles in next, dragging a crate.

Raditz: “I punched a robot over this one. Worth it.”

Vegeta walks in last. Silent. Stern.

He places one single, gold-lidded jar on the counter.

Vegeta: “Imported. Hand-packed. Aged in lunar brine. From Planet Drossek Prime.”

You gasp.

Bulma faints.

Chi-Chi salutes him like he just won the Saiyan Civil War.

⸻

The Pickle Feast

Back on the couch, all three of you are in heaven.

You: “They’re cold. They’re crunchy. I could cry.”

Chi-Chi does cry.

Bulma holds her gold pickle jar like it’s her firstborn.

The Saiyans? Sitting in total silence.

Vegeta is meditating in the corner, whispering “I survived.”

Raditz has a Band-Aid on his cheek from a grocery scuffle.

Goku is staring lovingly at the sash.

You lean over and whisper to Vegeta: “You’re going to be a great dad.”

He grunts. “…So long as I never see a pickle again.”

Chapter 6: Dr Appointments and Daddy Drama

Summary:

Doctors. Heartbeats. Tears. Snacks. And three very muscular men losing their minds over jellybean-sized humans/saiyans.

The day begins with the Capsule Corp Hovervan of Doom.

Six full-grown adults.
Three pregnant, hormonal women.
Three Saiyan men in various stages of panic.

Vegeta is in the far backseat with his arms crossed, glaring at the floor like it just called him soft.
Goku is in the front seat, spinning the appointment confirmation sheet like it’s a prize wheel.
Raditz is clutching an empty diaper bag like it’s a briefcase of doom.

You: “Why do you have that now?”

Raditz: “I’m preparing.”
Bulma: “It’s week 20, not battle prep.”
Chi-Chi: “I swear if we miss snack time again—”

Goku slams on the “Auto-Go” button.
The hovervan launches forward with a sonic boom and all of you scream.

⸻

Capsule Corp VIP Prenatal Clinic

The waiting area is serene. Soothing. Spa music. Calming candles. A snack bar.

Or it was calm.

Then you all walk in.

Chi-Chi’s asking about protein shakes.
Bulma’s waving around her birth plan like a CEO at a shareholders’ meeting.
You’re trying not to cry because the vending machine is out of sour gummy worms.

Vegeta walks up to the receptionist.
Stone-faced. Frowning. Eyebrow twitching.

Receptionist: “Name?”

Vegeta: “My woman is gestating.”

Receptionist: “…I’ll just… mark you as her partner.”

⸻
Pregnancy Class Drop-In

While you wait for your ultrasound turn, the nurse kindly offers to let you all sit in on a quick “Dad Basics” class happening down the hall.

This… is a mistake.

⸻

The Instructor:
An adorable, overly peppy woman with a high ponytail and pastel scrubs.

The Room:
Dozens of doll babies in bassinets. Swaddles. Diapering stations. Gigantic posters that say “DON’T PANIC—IT’S JUST PEE.”

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi sit back with your feet up and smug smiles.

Let the chaos begin.

⸻

Swaddling Practice:

Raditz: Grabs doll by the foot. Wraps it like a burrito. Proudly holds it up. “Done!”

Instructor: “Sir, that’s upside down.”

Goku: Somehow swaddles himself into a blanket. “I’m cozy!!”

Vegeta: Throws the blanket on the floor. “If she’s cold, I’ll use ki to heat the air around her. I am not wrestling cloth.”

⸻

Diapering Practice:

Goku: “I think I put it on backward.”

Chi-Chi: “That’s the doll’s face, Goku.”

Raditz: “WHY IS IT STICKY ALREADY?!”
Bulma: “It’s a simulation, you overgrown coconut.”

Vegeta: Refuses to touch the diaper. Stands six feet back with crossed arms. “This is beneath me.”

You whisper: “You realize this means I’ll make you do it for real, right?”

Vegeta: …quietly reaches out and snaps the diaper on in 0.2 seconds. No words. Just shame.

⸻

Scene 3: Ultrasound Appointments of Doom

One by one, the nurse calls your names.

You go first.

You lie back on the cushioned exam table, holding Vegeta’s hand while the tech preps the gel.

The lights dim.
The screen flickers on.
The baby appears.

Tiny. Wiggling. Glowing.

The moment her little heartbeat echoes through the room?

Vegeta goes completely still.

You glance over.

The Prince of All Saiyans… is crying.

One tear. One dramatic, silent, Earth-shattering tear rolls down his face.

You: “Awww—Vegeta—”

Vegeta: sniff “She’s training inside you already.”

You laugh and cry at the same time. “She’s not training, she’s literally just existing.”

Vegeta: “Exactly.”

⸻

Chi-Chi & Goku’s Turn:

Goku stares at the screen, eyes huge.

Goku: “IS THAT HER TAIL?!”

Chi-Chi: “Goku. That’s her foot.”

Goku: “She kicked! She kicked!! Babe, I’m so proud! She already fights better than Krillin!”

Chi-Chi: “GOKU!!”

⸻

Bulma & Raditz’s Turn:

Raditz: gasping “I saw her head! She has my forehead!!”

Bulma: “Raditz, that’s a perfectly normal size—”

Raditz: “I WILL BUY HER EVERY HAT!”

Nurse: “Would you like to hear the heartbeat?”

Raditz: visibly sweating “Is it… safe?”

The heartbeat plays.

Raditz sobs into his long hair like a rockstar at a breakup concert.

⸻

Post-Appointment Snack Rampage

Goku: Raids the staff kitchen for pudding cups. Gets banned. Again.
Raditz: Buys a stuffed bunny from the gift shop and names it “Commander Fluff.”
Vegeta: Stares at the ultrasound printout like it’s a sacred relic. He tapes it inside the gravity chamber.

You, Chi-Chi, and Bulma regroup in the Capsule Cafe, munching on celebratory fries and sipping lemon ice water.

Bulma: “So… we made them cry.”

Chi-Chi: “Three for three.”

You: “They’re gonna be amazing dads.”

a loud CRASH

Vegeta bursts in holding a stack of pregnancy books.

“WHERE IS THE CHAPTER ON BURPING?! WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE BURPING?!”

Chapter 7: Daddy Nesting Mode: Final Form

Summary:

Saiyan Dads. Fully activated. Nesting instincts on overdrive.

You’re fast asleep. Peaceful. Snuggled under your weighted blanket, halfway through a dream about your unborn daughter tap dancing on a floating cloud of pickles.

Suddenly—

BANG!

The door explodes open.

Vegeta storms in, shirtless, hair extra violent, eyes wide with fatherly panic.

Vegeta: “THE HOUSE ISN’T SAFE.”

You jolt upright, clutching your belly. “What?! What happened?! Is Frieza back?!”

Vegeta: “WORSE. The outlets are exposed.”

You blink. “…The outlets?”

Vegeta: “OUR DAUGHTER COULD STICK HER TINY WARRIOR FINGERS INTO THEM AND DIE INSTANTLY.”

You: “She’s not even born yet—”

Vegeta drops a duffel bag full of foam padding, safety locks, and power drills.
Vegeta: “GET UP. WE’RE FORTIFYING THIS PLACE.”

⸻

3:38 AM

Raditz bursts out of his bedroom in full armor.
Raditz: “WHAT’S HAPPENING? WHERE’S THE BATTLE?!”

Vegeta: “THE HOUSE IS A DEATH TRAP.”

Goku teleports in mid-yawn.
Goku: “Are we fighting a monster?”

Vegeta: “YES. HER NAME IS UNSUPERVISED INFANT MOBILITY.”

⸻

The Nesting Instinct Hits Hard.

Raditz starts drawing out battle plans for a rotating crib platform that will auto-scan for threats.

Goku duct tapes every cabinet shut and child-locks the fridge.

Vegeta discovers baby gates.

The child gate… does not go well.

⸻
Vegeta vs. The Child Gate

You stand in the hallway, very pregnant, holding a smoothie, watching the Prince of All Saiyans attempt to install a pink, bunny-themed child safety gate at the top of the stairs.

He slams it into place. It wobbles.

He adjusts the latch. It clicks wrong.

He growls. “It is defective.”

You: “Sweetheart, it’s supposed to flex. It’s spring-loaded.”

Vegeta tries again.
The latch snaps back and hits him in the shin.

Vegeta goes silent.

You: “Don’t—don’t do it—”

He PUNCHES the gate. Full-force.

The entire wall explodes.

Goku, from the kitchen: “Uhhh… was that a burglar?”

Raditz: “No. Vegeta lost to a bunny gate.”

⸻

Goku Locks Down the Entire Kitchen

You: “Why is the fridge zip-tied shut?”

Goku: “Babies are sneaky.”

Chi-Chi: “SHE WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO CRAWL YET!”

Goku: “That’s what they want you to think!”

He has installed corner protectors on every cabinet, two sets of latches on every drawer, and bubble wrap on the blender.

He has also child-locked Vegeta’s secret snack drawer.

Vegeta punches the fridge. Again.

⸻

Raditz Reinvents the Crib

Raditz is in the nursery, welding something.

You step in cautiously.

You: “Raditz… what are you… doing?”

Raditz, goggles on, looks up from a glowing bassinet that’s floating, humming, and surrounded by a faint energy field.

Raditz: “Combat Crib. Version 3.0. It hovers. It has defensive shields. If anything gets near her while she sleeps… it blasts them.”

Bulma: “IS THAT WHY THE CEILING IS ON FIRE?!”

Raditz: “Prototype flaw. Easily fixable.”

⸻

Emotional Crash

By sunrise, Capsule Corp looks like an overengineered nursery bunker.

Vegeta’s pacing with a tablet full of “Things That Could Kill My Daughter: Earth Edition.”
Goku is exhausted, sitting on the floor holding a pacifier like it’s a time bomb.
Raditz is half-asleep in a rocking chair, stroking a baby blanket whispering, “Flame shields… rainbow shields…”

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi walk in with matching mugs that say “Moms > Mortals” and survey the wreckage.

Chi-Chi: “Well… they tried.”

Bulma: “Remind me to uninstall the rocket boosters on Raditz’s crib before the baby showers.”

You: “Vegeta punched a child gate.”

Vegeta: “I REGRET NOTHING.”

Chapter 8: The Saiyan Baby Showers

Summary:

Chaos.

You’re asleep. Blissfully unaware.
Bulma’s snoring softly in a fluffy robe.
Chi-Chi is dead to the world, wrapped in a burrito of body pillows.

And meanwhile—

Capsule Corp’s outer courtyard is being TRANSFORMED.

Dozens of Capsule Corp party bots are floating around, pasting pastel banners, inflating alien-anatomy-themed balloons, and deploying glitter fog machines coded to match “soft pink starburst.”

Piccolo, standing dead center in a “Baby Shower Event Manager” sash (he lost a bet), is glaring at a clipboard like it’s out for blood.

Behind him? Dende, covered in ribbon.
Mr. Satan, holding a basket of custom burp cloths that say “Power Level: Unstable.”

⸻

Vegeta Wakes Up to Hell

Vegeta stumbles into the kitchen, shirtless, cranky, hair defying gravity as usual.

He pours one sip of coffee before looking outside—

And seeing the glitter cannons.

Vegeta: “…No.”

He steps outside. Glares at Piccolo.
“WHY is there a cloud that says ‘It’s a Girl!’ in sparkling vapor across my lawn?”

Piccolo: sips herbal tea “Talk to your woman.”

He turns to go back inside.

Stops.

There’s a banner over the door.

It says: “Welcome Daddy Veggie!”

Vegeta screams.

⸻

Meanwhile, in the Maternity Suite

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are getting ready in the newly renovated Capsule Corp glam room. You’ve got matching robes that say “Mama Squad” on the back.

Bulma is getting her lashes done by a floating bot.
Chi-Chi is crying over how “round and beautiful” her belly looks.
You’re trying to decide between the glittery sandals or the comfy alien slippers.

You: “Do you think they’ll behave?”

Bulma: “Absolutely not.”

Chi-Chi: “That’s half the fun.”

⸻

The Alien Guests Arrive

Just after breakfast, the portal gates open and in stroll:
• Jaco, bringing a diaper bag shaped like a space shuttle
• Beerus and Whis, who were promised cupcakes
• King Kai, who arrives via bubble and bonks into the roof
• Zarbon, who definitely thinks this is a fashion show
• An old Saiyan auntie from another quadrant who keeps blessing everyone and asking Vegeta when the wedding is

Vegeta: “WE ARE ALREADY BONDED, WOMAN—STOP THROWING GLITTER ON ME.”

Raditz: “I think she tried to name my daughter ‘Thundercheeks.’”

⸻

The Gift Table From Hell

Bulma opens the first gift:
A self-heating onesie from a Namekian vendor. Cute. Safe.

You open yours:
A vibrating baby bassinet that floats, sings, and shoots bubbles. Amazing.

Chi-Chi opens hers:
A battle armor swaddle with Goku’s symbol on the chest.

Goku: “She’s gonna be READY.”

Chi-Chi: “She’s going to choke on the shoulder pads!”

Vegeta’s gift from Beerus?
A scroll that reads: “To the strongest girl you’ll ever meet. You’re welcome.”

Vegeta, sniffling: “Damn you, God of Destruction.”

⸻

The Games Begin

Game 1: Pin the Tail on the Baby
Raditz gets way too competitive.
Tries to sense energy to locate the correct spot.
Breaks the game board. Declares victory. No one was competing.

Game 2: Guess the Belly Size
Goku pulls out a measuring tape and says, “Chi-Chi’s belly is exactly twelve pickles wide.”

Chi-Chi: “WHAT—”

Game 3: Lullaby Karaoke
Vegeta tries to leave.
You block him.
He ends up singing a lullaby in Saiyan.
Everyone cries. Even Whis.

⸻

The Flower Crown Showdown

Right before cake-cutting, Bulma pulls out three flower crowns.

Bulma: “It’s tradition!”

Goku: Immediately wears his. Smiles. No shame.

Raditz: Puts his on. Flexes. “I am King of the Petals.”

Vegeta: Refuses. Arms crossed. Scowling.
“No. Never. Not even if Beerus resurrected Nappa and made him wear one.”

You approach him, smiling sweetly.

You: “Come on, babe. Just for a minute?”

He opens his mouth to protest—

Your daughter kicks.

Hard. Right against his palm.

Vegeta stops.

Slowly picks up the flower crown.

Places it on his head.

Everyone gasps.

Piccolo: “It suits him. Disturbingly well.”

Vegeta: “If you tell anyone… I’ll vaporize your soul.”

⸻

Final Toast

All the guests gather for a toast.

You three are glowing, surrounded by gifts, food, and love.

Goku stands on a table: “To the strongest babies this galaxy’s ever seen!”

Raditz: “To the fiercest moms in the universe!”

Vegeta, softer than anyone expected:
“To the girls who will grow up knowing they are already more powerful than anyone who dares to doubt them.”

Everyone cheers.

You cry.

Vegeta kisses your cheek and says, “Our daughter deserves to be celebrated. Even if the cake has glitter frosting.”

You: “You had three slices.”

Vegeta: “…That’s not the point.”

Chapter 9: The Saiyan Meltdown

You’re on the couch. Can’t move. Can’t roll. Can’t breathe without assistance.

You: “Vegeta. I need the belly tape.”

Vegeta, entering with purpose: “I brought the strongest tape I could find.”

He lifts a roll of duct tape. Heavy. Metallic. Glinting with menace.

You, blinking: “Babe. That’s for ships. Not humans.”

Bulma: “That’s how I fixed the gravity chamber last week.”

Chi-Chi: “Try that on me and I’ll stick it to your eyelids.”

Vegeta: “…There is… other tape?”

You pull out the special maternity belly support wrap.

Vegeta reads the label like it’s a spell.

Vegeta: “You’re telling me… this entire product exists just to help you hold the weight?”

You: “Yes.”

Vegeta: “Why don’t we have this?!”

You: “You’re about to.”

⸻

Operation Watermelon Womb – 24-Hour Dad Challenge

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi call an emergency family meeting.

You stand at the head of the table. A queen. A legend. A pregnant goddess with crumbs on your belly.

You slap three perfectly selected, heavy, lumpy watermelons onto the table.
Elastic straps. Industrial-strength bonding. Full commitment.

You: “You’re wearing these. For 24 hours.”

Raditz: “Like. Around our necks?”

Bulma: “No. Around your waists. Belly-style.”

Chi-Chi: “You’re going to pee. Waddle. Cry. And crave weird food.”

Goku: “Can we fight with them on?”

You: “No. You can cry with them on.”

⸻

Hour 1: The Dads Are Already Dying

Goku is lying on the floor with his belly strapped on, trying to roll.

Raditz attempts to stretch and pulls something in his lower back.

Vegeta? Standing still. Sweating.

Vegeta: “This is… unnatural.”

You walk in, sipping from a juice box. “Oh, sorry. Did you want sympathy?”

Vegeta: “I want airflow.”

You: “I want to roll over without needing to grab onto your arm like I’m scaling Mt. Everest.”

Vegeta wipes his brow. “I… I did this to you.”

You nod solemnly. “You did.”

⸻

Hour 3: First Emotional Breakdown

Raditz cries because he dropped a spoon and can’t bend to reach it.

Chi-Chi tries to help but starts crying with him.

Bulma throws an entire pillow at the wall because her yogurt isn’t cold enough.

Vegeta is halfway through installing a fan under his shirt.

Goku: “I have no idea where my abs went.”

Vegeta: “I can’t sense my core anymore.”

⸻

Night Falls. No One is Okay.

You wake up for the seventh time.

Shake Vegeta.

You: “Babe.”

Vegeta, face-first into the pillow: “No.”

You: “I have to pee.”

Vegeta, muffled: “You just went.”

You: “And I have to go again.”

Vegeta grunts. Rolls out of bed. Still wearing the watermelon.

Helps you waddle to the bathroom with the grace of a battle-worn veteran.

You: “I love you.”

Vegeta: “If I survive this week… I’m asking Whis for new abs.”

⸻

Hour 18: The Collapse

Goku is curled under a table, mumbling about “gravity shifts.”
Raditz has tried to eat half his watermelon.
Vegeta’s hair is flatter than usual. He’s sweating. Trembling.

You, from the couch: “Hey babe, can you get me my water?”

Vegeta: “I CAN’T SEE MY FEET.”

⸻

Hour 24: The End

You gather them in the living room.

Goku collapses dramatically.
Raditz rips the straps off and groans in freedom.
Vegeta stands there, eyes wide, broken. Quiet.

You approach him.

“You okay, Prince?”

Vegeta: “…I can’t believe I made you carry this… and you haven’t vaporized me yet.”

You smile and pat your belly.

“She’s worth it. You are too.”

Vegeta doesn’t cry.

Vegeta’s nose twitches. That’s enough.

Chapter 10: Braxton Hicks and Battle Cries

Summary:

Fake contractions. Real meltdowns. Saiyan instincts firing on ALL cylinders.

You’re sitting on the couch, in a glorious bathrobe, peacefully watching reruns of Galactic House Hunters: Moon Colony Edition, eating a bowl of pickles and peanut butter with crushed ice on the side. Chi-Chi is knitting something unidentifiable, and Bulma is testing her new belly-fan belt invention.

Then… you pause.

Hand on your belly. A slight wince.

You: “…Huh.”

Vegeta, from across the room: “What.”

You blink. “Think I had a cramp.”

Vegeta’s head snaps up so fast it creates a sonic boom.

Vegeta: “A WHAT.”

You: “A little one. Just tightening. Like a Braxton Hicks or whatever. It’s normal.”

Vegeta is already sprinting toward you like you’ve been shot.
“CALL WHIS. GET A POD READY. WE’RE UNDER ATTACK.”

⸻

The Panic Multiplies

Raditz bursts through the door with one sock on and a battle scouter around his neck.
“I HEARD A CONTRACTION.”

Chi-Chi: “It’s not real labor, it’s just practice contractions!”

Raditz: “WE PRACTICE FOR COMBAT. NOT BIRTH.”

Goku Instant Transmissions directly into the living room holding a pillow, a towel, and a cereal bowl full of warm water.

Goku: “I’M READY TO CATCH IT!!”

You, mouth full of pickles: “Catch what?!”

Goku: “THE BABY!”

Chi-Chi: “SHE’S NOT EVEN DILATED, GOKU!”

Goku: “DILATED? WHERE? WHO? HOW MANY TIMES?!”

⸻

The Saiyan Hospital Bag Disaster

Raditz: “I’ve been preparing for this day.”

He slams a Capsule Corp duffel bag on the table.

You unzip it.

Inside are:
• Four protein bars
• Three battle scouters
• A bottle of motor oil
• A Capsule Corp blanket
• And one VERY large bottle of hair gel

Bulma: “Raditz. Where’s the birth plan?”

Raditz: “What birth plan?”

Bulma: “The actual plan for the actual birth—”

Raditz: “THIS IS THE PLAN. Fuel. Scouting. Hydration. Hair.”

⸻

Vegeta Loses His Mind

You sit up again and wince. It’s another harmless Braxton Hicks contraction, but you moan a little just to stretch.

Vegeta is already mid-air.

Vegeta: “WHERE IS THE BABY?! I NEED VISUAL CONFIRMATION.”

You: “It’s literally just fake practice labor—”

Vegeta: “PAIN IS NEVER FAKE.”

You blink. “Is that… a contraction sympathy quote?”

Vegeta, sweating: “I’M FEELING EVERYTHING YOU FEEL. I MIGHT BE DILATED TOO.”

You: “I NEED you to calm down.”

Vegeta: “I AM CALM!!!”

The light above the couch shatters.

⸻

The Fake-Out False Alarm Parade

Chi-Chi stretches and groans. Goku launches across the room with a towel cape.

Chi-Chi: “I was just stretching!”

Goku: “YOU WERE GIVING BIRTH ENERGY!”

Bulma sneezes.

Raditz screams: SHE’S COMING!

Bulma: “I. SNEEZED.”

You drop your spoon.

Vegeta appears out of thin air: “DID YOU DROP THE BABY?!”

You: “It’s a spoon.”

Vegeta, clutching his chest: “I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS.”

⸻

Doctor Check – It’s All Fine

All three couples go in for a check-up.

Doctor: “You are all perfectly fine. You’re just having Braxton Hicks contractions. No dilation. No effacement. No babies yet.”

Vegeta: twitching “Then what the HELL have I been suffering through?!”

Doctor: “Your wife’s uterine muscles are preparing. It’s normal.”

Vegeta: “NORMAL?! I’ve been sleeping on alert mode. I don’t even remember what my bed feels like. I’m a father. A victim.”

Goku: “I brought a fishing pole in case we needed to hook the baby out.”

Doctor: “Get out.”

⸻

Later That Night – Regroup and Recover

All six of you are on the living room floor. The lights are low. Ice packs everywhere.

Bulma is sipping lemon water like she’s in a survival movie.

Chi-Chi has her feet in a bucket of warm herbs and is muttering about vengeance.

You’ve got frozen peas on your belly and a heating pad on your back.

Vegeta is holding your hand and talking to your baby through your belly like she’s a war general.

Vegeta: “You will not come early. That is dishonorable.”

You: “She kicked.”

Vegeta: “…She respects my leadership.”

Goku: sleeping with a bottle of milk in his hand

Raditz: curled around the baby book like a teddy bear

Chapter 11: Labor Begins: Three Princesses Are Born

Summary:

The real deal. Contractions. Chaos. Rushed hospital runs. Emotional breakdowns. And three Saiyan dads meeting their daughters for the first time.

You’re standing in the kitchen. Barefoot. Holding a mug of decaf.
The world is still. Quiet. Peaceful.

And then—

SPLASH.

You freeze.
Look down.
Eyes widen.

You: “…Oh.”

Bulma: “Wait… wait, did you just—?”

Chi-Chi: “NO. WAIT. ME TOO—”

You three stare at each other.

Triple water break. Triple wide-eyed horror.

⸻

The Boys’ Response:

Goku: “OH MY GOD THEY PEED!”

Raditz: “OH NO THEY LOST CONTROL—IS THIS THE HORMONES?!”

Vegeta: “KAKAROT DON’T JUST STAND IN IT—”

SLIP.

SLAM.

CRASH.

All three fall. One after another. Like dominos. Into the puddles. Screaming.

Goku: “IT’S IN MY HAIR—”

Raditz: “WHY IS IT SO WARM?!”

Vegeta, face down: “This is how I die.”

You: “IT’S OUR WATER BREAKING, YOU IDIOTS!!!”

All three freeze.

Goku, covered in amniotic fluid: “…OH.”

And then? FULL PANIC.

The three of you are clutching your bellies. Contractions are starting to hit like low-level ki blasts. Meanwhile…

Goku is horizontal on the floor, his legs tangled in a towel.
Raditz has fallen backwards over the couch, clutching his own back like he’s in labor.
Vegeta is trying to stand but keeps slipping on his own socks. The man has fought gods but is currently defeated by birth fluid.

You, gripping the kitchen counter:
“THE BABIES ARE COMING!”

Chi-Chi: “CONTRACTIONS. NOW. THEY’RE REAL.”

Bulma: “SOMEONE. CALL. ANYONE!”

Goku yells, “I’LL GET THE DOCTOR—” and vanishes with Instant Transmission—

Only to return with a fistful of pudding and no medical personnel.

Goku: “Wait, what was I doing?!”

⸻

Capsule Corp Goes Full Code Red

Vegeta: has activated every Capsule alarm.
Emergency lights are flashing. Sirens wail.
A Capsule ambulance pod crashes into the garden, sending flower petals and glitter cannons from the baby shower flying.

Raditz is trying to help Bulma walk to the hallway—

But she stops mid-step.

Bulma: “Raditz.”

Raditz: “Yes, my queen?”

Bulma: “Get the capsule bag. And bring my mascara. And also—I’M ABOUT TO SCREAM.”

⸻

THE GREAT ESCAPE – SAIYAN STYLE

The hospital bags:
• Yours is perfect, organized, and glittery.
• Bulma’s is triple-packed and bulletproof.
• Chi-Chi’s is mostly snacks and a pillow with Goku’s face on it.

The transport:
• Raditz carries Bulma in a bridal pose while sobbing
• Goku keeps teleporting slightly off target with Chi-Chi
• Vegeta refuses to let anyone help, muttering, “I’ve GOT HER,” while waddling you toward the ship with his jaw clenched and aura glowing violently

You: “You’re glowing.”

Vegeta: “I’m CALM.”

You: “You’re literally going Super Saiyan in front of a stroller.”

Vegeta: “She’s coming. And the universe must prepare.”

⸻

West City Maternity Center – They Are NOT Ready For This

The nurse at the front desk sees you three barreling in—

Goku’s holding a lamp instead of a birth plan.
Raditz is yelling about “dilation levels over 9,000!”
Vegeta is kicking open the automatic doors and yelling “CLEAR A PATH FOR THE PRINCESS OF THE BLOODLINE!”

The nurses: “Oh no. It’s the Saiyans again.”

⸻

The Delivery Rooms – Triple Madness Begins

All three of you are in separate rooms—but no one is truly separate. Because the dads refuse to leave your sides, even for a second.

⸻

Your Room (Vegeta):

You’re gripping the side rails, sweat pouring, breath heavy.

Vegeta is pacing like he’s in a warzone.

Vegeta: “Do you want me to knock you out? Do you want ME knocked out? WHAT DO YOU NEED?!”

You: “I need—ICE—no—SOMETHING—NOISE—PAIN—”

Vegeta’s tail is twitching like a live wire.

You: “STOP PACING.”

Vegeta: “I CAN’T STOP ANYTHING!”

⸻

Chi-Chi’s Room (Goku):

Goku has tried to swaddle himself again in the hospital blanket.

Chi-Chi: “STOP SPINNING. YOU’RE GIVING ME MOTION SICKNESS.”

Goku: “I just want to be… helpful!”

He gets so overwhelmed, he grabs a nurse’s clipboard and yells, “I’LL WRITE STUFF!”

Chi-Chi: “YOU CAN’T SPELL, GOKU.”

Goku: “I CAN SOUND OUT ‘BABY!’”

⸻

Bulma’s Room (Raditz):

Raditz has fainted. Twice.
Woke up the second time yelling, “IS SHE HERE?!”

Bulma, mid-contraction: “If you pass out a third time, I swear to Kami I’ll give birth in the waiting room.”

Raditz: “I BROUGHT SNACKS!”

Bulma: “DO I LOOK HUNGRY RIGHT NOW?!”

⸻

The Final Push

Your contraction peaks.

The room dims. You cry out. Sweat dripping.

Vegeta’s hand grips yours. He lowers to your level, forehead against yours.

Vegeta: “You’re the strongest thing I’ve ever seen.”

You whisper, “Then hold me, and don’t let go.”

He does.

⸻

In the other rooms:

Goku is crying. “She’s pushing, and she still looks so pretty!”

Chi-Chi: “YOU HAVE THE CORD IN YOUR HAIR!”

Raditz: “SHE’S CROWNING—I SAW IT—I THINK I LEVELED UP!”

⸻

The Moment

Three cries.

Three tiny, sacred, howling, squirming bundles of pink life.

You. Chi-Chi. Bulma.

Tears in your eyes. Sweat on your skin. Power in your heart.

And your daughters… in your arms.

⸻

Goku is sobbing uncontrollably.
“LOOK AT HER!! SHE’S SO SMALL AND—AND—AND—I WOULD DIE FOR HER!”

Raditz has passed out again—but this time, clutching Bulma’s hand with a smile.

Vegeta is standing beside your bed, trembling.
Eyes locked on the baby girl he just watched enter the world.

You: “Do you want to hold her?”

Vegeta: “…I might break her.”

You: “You never could.”

He takes her.

And for the first time in his life…

The Prince of All Saiyans kneels.

Chapter 12: Welcome to Parenthood

Summary:

Your Daughters Have Arrived. And They Brought Chaos With Them.

The household is quiet.

For two whole minutes.

Then…

WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Not one.
Not two.
But three synchronized baby cries pierce the night like banshee battle sirens.

Vegeta sits straight up in bed, hair even more violent than usual.

Vegeta: “She’s screaming. What does it mean? What does it mean?!”

You, bleary-eyed: “It means… she’s a baby.”

⸻

In the next room:

Chi-Chi sits rocking Maisie gently.

Goku: burping her like she’s a watermelon grenade.
“She’s so loud! Do you think she gets that from me?!”

Chi-Chi: “She’s your echo.”

Maisie lets out a sonic scream.
Goku flies backward into the wall.
Chi-Chi: “Yep. Echo confirmed.”

⸻

Down the hall:

Layla sneezes.

Raditz screams.

Raditz: “SHE’S EXPLOSIVE.”

Bulma: “She literally sneezed.”

Raditz: “I’D DIE FOR HER ANYWAY.”

⸻

Daddy Diaries – The First Diaper War

You and Vegeta: Team Diaper Duty

You: “Okay. We’ve practiced this. Fold, tuck, seal.”

Vegeta: “I have battled Frieza. I can handle this.”

Cai kicks. Her tail lashes. Her legs flail.

Vegeta gets hit in the jaw by a baby sock.

The wipe sticks to his bicep.

Vegeta: “THIS IS A SABOTAGE OPERATION—”

You: “Just put the diaper on.”

Vegeta: “I DID. SHE RIPPED IT OFF.”

Cai: innocent blink

You: “She gets that from you.”

Vegeta: sweating profusely “I’m… proud.”

⸻

Goku vs. The Diaper Genie

Goku: “So… I put it in here and it vanishes?”

Chi-Chi: “It’s not teleportation, Goku—it’s a sealed disposal system!”

Goku stuffs the entire pack of diapers inside.

The genie explodes.

Chi-Chi: “You broke the diaper dimension.”

⸻

Raditz: Diaper Change by Combat Roll

Bulma: “Why are you wearing gloves?”

Raditz: “FOR PROTECTION.”

Layla giggles. Kicks him.

He falls backward into the changing table with a battle cry.

Bulma: “Did she just… knock you over?”

Raditz, smiling: “She’s STRONG. My perfect little threat.”

⸻

Nap Time — Not For the Dads

Vegeta, whispering: “She’s finally asleep.”

He tiptoes out of the room like a ninja.

Cai’s tail flicks. She wakes up.

Vegeta turns. Face pale. Soul gone.

Cai screams.

Vegeta, whispering like he’s dying: “Abort. Abort the mission. We’ve lost the target.”

⸻

Goku:

Maisie curls up on his chest, tail twitching.

Goku smiles.
And then—

She pees.

Goku: “OH NO SHE CHARGED UP—CHI-CHI!!!”

⸻

Raditz:

Layla grabs his hair and won’t let go.

Raditz: “She’s bonding with me. She’s choosing me.”

Bulma: “She thinks your hair is a stuffed animal.”

Raditz: “LET HER LIVE HER TRUTH.”

⸻

Emotional Dads Anonymous – 3AM Meeting

Vegeta walks into the kitchen with dark circles, one slipper, and a pacifier in his hair.

Goku is eating a cold bottle like it’s soup.

Raditz has two burp cloths and is holding a onesie like it’s a lost relic.

They stare at each other.

Goku: “I cried today.”

Raditz: “I cried too.”

Vegeta: “…I blacked out standing up.”

You all shuffle into the living room like exhausted warriors.

Vegeta plops down next to you and takes Cai gently into his arms.

She yawns, wraps her tail around his wrist, and falls asleep.

Vegeta: “…She is the greatest thing I’ve ever trained.”

You: “She’s literally just breathing.”

Vegeta: softly “Flawless technique.”

Chapter 13: Battlefield Bottles & Saiyan Sleeplessness

Summary:

Burps, Blowouts, and Daddy Showdowns.

The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. The girls are bundled in their strollers, tails swaddled in the fluffiest blankets money (and Bulma) can buy.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi? Ready for a stroll.

The dads?

Vegeta is in full tactical gear with a bottle holster strapped across his chest.
Goku has snacks for himself but forgot Maisie’s wipes.
Raditz has sunglasses on and is dramatically pushing Layla’s stroller like it’s a convertible sports car.

Then it happens.

Cai burps.
Maisie sneezes.
Layla farts.

All three: Begin screaming in unison.

Vegeta: “IT’S AN AMBUSH!”

Goku: “WE NEED BACKUP!”

Raditz: “GET THE FORMULA! DEFENSIVE FORMATION!”

You: “You guys, they’re just… babies.”

Bulma: “This is literally how they communicate.”

Chi-Chi: “You’ve faced galactic tyrants, but this breaks you?!”

Goku, holding a rattle: “Frieza never pooped in my lap.”

⸻

Blowout Mid-Flight

Goku volunteers to carry Maisie mid-air for her nap.

Everything’s peaceful. They’re hovering gently above Capsule Corp gardens.
Then…

SQUISH.

Goku: “…Oh no.”

Chi-Chi: “WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Goku lands like he’s holding a ticking bomb.

Maisie: giggling

Goku: “She weaponized it. Her diaper EXPLODED. It was warm. It was real. I SAW THINGS.”

Vegeta: “You let her unleash it in the sky? You fool. THE WIND WILL CARRY IT.”

Raditz: “Quick—contain it before it reaches the citrus trees!”

You: “It’s literally just baby poop.”

The men are putting up energy barriers.

⸻

The Great Bottle Tournament

After a week of failed burping attempts and bottle misfires, you propose a challenge.

Whichever dad gets the first burp from their daughter… wins dessert duty immunity for a week.

The Stakes Are HIGH.

Goku: “I will become the Burping Champion.”

Vegeta: “I was born for this.”

Raditz: “I will make Layla sing from the stomach.”

⸻

The Setup:

Each dad has:
• A bottle
• A burp cloth
• Their own daughter on their shoulder
• An audience of very judgmental babies

⸻

The Bottle Battle Begins

Goku feeds Maisie. She immediately slaps the bottle away and giggles.

Goku: “She’s playful. She’s got Chi-Chi’s attitude!”

Chi-Chi: “She’s got your inability to focus.”

⸻

Vegeta: Tactical Approach

Feeds Cai exactly 3 ounces. Burps her every 10 seconds. Alternates shoulder sides. Adjusts breathing.

Cai: burps lightly

Vegeta gasps.

You: “Wait—was that it?!”

Cai: throws up a tiny bit on his armor.

Vegeta: “I REGRET NOTHING.”

⸻

Raditz: Chaos Method

Spins around in circles while humming.

Bulma: “You are not a baby DJ.”

Layla: BURPS.

Loud. Powerful. Earth-shaking.

Raditz: tears up “She has my lungs.”

⸻

Chi-Chi declares Layla the winner.

Goku demands a rematch.
Vegeta starts training Cai in breath control with tiny grunts.

You: “You’re turning her into a power burper.”

Vegeta: “She will BURP ONCE AND LEVEL A MOUNTAIN.”

⸻

Sleep-Deprived Shenanigans

It’s 2 AM. No one has slept.

Raditz is trying to sing Layla to sleep but keeps getting the lyrics wrong.

Goku is rocking a sleeping Maisie while sleepwalking.
He walks into the fridge.

Vegeta is holding Cai like a sacred relic and whispering: “You are safe. You are perfect. You are… POOPING AGAIN AREN’T YOU?!”

⸻

Cuddles and Quiet

The chaos slows.

You and Vegeta lie together on the nursery floor, Cai asleep on your chest.

Her tail flicks gently over his arm. He traces it with one finger.

You whisper, “Do you still feel like you’re training for war?”

Vegeta shakes his head.

Vegeta: “No. She is peace. And she is terrifying.”

Chapter 14: The Great Baby Vanishing

Summary:

Two words: Instant Transmission.

It starts innocently enough.

Cai, Maisie, and Layla are all down for their afternoon nap.

Wrapped in pastel blankets. Tails curled. Bottles drained.

Peace. Tranquility. Sanity.

Too much of it.

Goku tiptoes past the nursery, holding a bowl of noodles.
Raditz is stretching in the hallway.
Vegeta is sitting on the couch sipping tea with you, eyebrows relaxed.

You: “We should enjoy this moment.”

Vegeta: “Something feels… wrong.”

You: “What, because they’re quiet?”

Vegeta: “EXACTLY.”

⸻

Vanishing Babies – It Begins

From the baby monitor:

Silence.
Then… POP.

Then…

Three high-pitched giggles echo from completely different directions.

You sit up. “Did you hear that?”

Vegeta already has a scouter to his face.

Vegeta: “Cai’s ki signature just moved. To the kitchen.”

Goku: “Maisie’s not in her crib—SHE’S IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET!”

Raditz: screaming from the hallway “LAYLA IS ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE.”

You: “WHAT?!”

Vegeta: eyes wide “They… learned Instant Transmission.”

⸻

Saiyan Dad Meltdown #937

Goku is crawling across the laundry room like a soldier in battle.

Maisie pops in and out of laundry piles giggling like a gremlin.

Goku: “MAISIE—STAY IN ONE DIMENSION!”

Maisie blinks out again.

⸻

Raditz is holding a broom and pointing it at the top of the fridge.

Layla flickers in and out like a flickering lightbulb.

Bulma: “SHE’S A BABY, NOT A GHOST!”

Raditz: “SHE’S EVERYTHING!”

Layla teleports onto his shoulder.
He screams. She farts.

⸻

Vegeta is in full battle stance in the kitchen, scanning every ki fluctuation.

Cai: giggles from the spice cabinet.

Vegeta flings the door open—nothing.

Cai: POOF—reappears on top of his head.

Vegeta: freezes
“…She is stealth incarnate.”

You: gasping “SHE’S RIDING YOU.”

Vegeta: “This is… my greatest defeat.”

⸻

The Family Meeting – DEFCON 1

Everyone is gathered in the living room.

Cai is gnawing on Vegeta’s glove.
Maisie is chewing on Goku’s ear.
Layla is upside down in Raditz’s lap.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are sipping juice like it’s wine and watching your men die inside.

Bulma: “We need to baby-proof… the UNIVERSE.”

Chi-Chi: “How do we contain teleporting infants?!”

Goku: raising hand “What if we teach them to only teleport to snack sources?!”

Chi-Chi: “ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

⸻

Vegeta Attempts Control

Vegeta sets Cai down in a padded gravity chamber with a plush toy and begins training drills.

Vegeta: “Focus your energy. No more erratic blinking.”

Cai stares at him.

Flickers out.

Vegeta whirls around.

She reappears… on his back.

Vegeta: low growl “She used my own ki flow… to predict my blind spot…”

You: “She’s four months old.”

Vegeta: “She’s a prodigy. A menace. A queen.”

⸻

Final Scene – Baby GPS Activated

Bulma creates a Saiyan baby tracker.
It buzzes every time one of the girls vanishes.

You wear it like a bracelet.
It goes off every 3 minutes.

Vegeta has not slept in 47 hours.
Raditz is duct-taped to the nursery floor with Layla asleep on his chest.
Goku is curled up in a laundry basket with Maisie napping on his head.

And Cai?

She’s passed out in the fridge. Wrapped in a dish towel. Smiling.

You: “This is our life now.”

Vegeta: from the floor “We must evolve… or perish.”

Chapter 15: Tail Tug Wars & Teleport Tantrums

You lay Cai on her tummy mat.

Bulma props Layla into her hover-bouncer.
Chi-Chi gently lowers Maisie into her plushy ring of toys.

It’s calm. Peaceful. Cute cooing. Adorable smiles.

Then—

Maisie spots Layla’s tail.

Cai spots Maisie’s tail.

Layla? Grabs them both.

The next 30 seconds:
• Tails wrapped around wrists
• Tiny fists grabbing fuzz
• All three girls start baby wrestling in a slow-motion, drooling Saiyan triangle showdown.

Goku: “I think they’re bonding!”

Raditz: “I think they’re BRAWLING!”

Vegeta: “No one interfere. This… is sacred.”

⸻

The Tail Tug Treaty Attempt

After the third teleport-wrestle-fart incident in the same hour, you declare a Family Summit.

You: “We need rules. Boundaries. Tail respect.”

Vegeta: “We need ki barriers.”

Chi-Chi: “We need juice and duct tape.”

Goku: raising hand “I think they’re communicating in… baby battle language.”

Bulma brings out baby-safe tail warmers she designed.
Goku tries to wear one as a headband.
Raditz puts two on his wrists like battle cuffs.

Bulma: “Not for you.”

⸻

The “No Teleport During Diaper Time” Rule

Vegeta posts signs.

Literal signs. All over the nursery:

“Teleporting Mid-Wipe Will Result In Punishment Cuddles. — Dad”

Five minutes later:

Cai vanishes mid-change.

Vegeta screams.

She reappears on the roof of the gravity chamber, completely naked, holding her diaper like a victory flag.

You: “She inherited your pride.”

Vegeta: softly, brokenly “And my strategy…”

⸻

Maisie’s Tantrum Teleport Spiral

Maisie is tired. Hungry. Done with everything.

Goku picks her up and tries to rock her.

Maisie: SCREAMS.

Then—POOF.

Then again.

And again.

She’s teleporting in a tantrum spiral, vanishing across the house every five seconds.

Goku, running: “WHERE’S MY BABY—WHY IS SHE IN THE PANTRY?!”

Chi-Chi is chasing her with a pacifier.

Maisie blinks into the bathtub.

Goku slips in after her. Soaked. Still holding a bottle.

Maisie giggles.

Chi-Chi: “She played you.”

⸻

Layla’s TAIL OF POWER

Layla has figured out she can use her tail like a third hand.

Raditz builds her a baby obstacle course.

Layla conquers it in 12 minutes.

Raditz falls to his knees.

“She’s destined for greatness.”

Bulma: “She’s four months old and smacked a toy with her tail.”

Raditz: “AND I’VE NEVER BEEN MORE PROUD.”

⸻

Sleep Training Chaos

The dads try to “gently sleep train” the girls.

Attempt 1:

Goku sings. Off-key. Cai teleports to your bed.
Maisie rolls into a wall. Layla fakes being asleep, then teleports into Raditz’s arms and burps dramatically.

Attempt 2:

Vegeta sets calming ki levels.
They scream louder.
He tries white noise. They mimic it and scream in harmony.

Attempt 3:

All three girls teleport into the same crib.
Cuddled together. Purring. Tails wrapped.

Silence.

You: “They wanted each other.”

Vegeta, sitting down in defeat: “They don’t want peace. They want each other’s chaos.”

⸻

Midnight Peace… Kinda

The house is quiet.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are half-asleep on the couch.

Goku’s snoring upside down.

Raditz is humming lullabies to a stuffed bear.

Vegeta has Cai curled into his chest, tail twitching, his cheek resting against her hair.

You whisper, “How are you feeling?”

Vegeta: “Like I’m not worthy of her.”

You: “You are. Completely.”

She snores softly.

Vegeta: “She has my tail twitch. We’re doomed.”

Chapter 16: First Food Chaos

Summary:

Because what can go wrong right?

WRONG.

The high chairs are out. The bibs are on. The cameras are rolling.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi? Excited, slightly terrified, and holding spoons like weapons.

The babies?
• Cai: Calm. Calculated. Planning something.
• Maisie: Already giggling. Covered in drool.
• Layla: Slapping the tray like it owes her money.

The dads?
• Vegeta is hovering like a paranoid falcon, a bowl of puréed carrots in one hand, and a bottle of baby wipes in the other.
• Goku is bouncing up and down with a spoon like it’s a popsicle.
• Raditz is wearing two aprons and goggles.

You: “This isn’t a science experiment.”

Bulma: “It literally is. I charted the puree textures.”

Chi-Chi: “We’re just trying food today. No ki, no chaos.”

The babies: Challenge accepted.

⸻

Battle of the Bibs

You slide the spoon gently into Cai’s mouth.

She blinks.
Tastes.
Raises a single eyebrow.

Then smacks the spoon from your hand like a samurai.

Vegeta: “SHE’S REJECTING EARTH FOOD!”

You: “She’s rejecting your energy, my love.”

Vegeta: “I FED HER WITH PRIDE.”

Cai: burps.

Vegeta: honors her.

⸻

Maisie vs. Sweet Potato:

Goku: “Here comes the Senzu Bean Shuttle!”

Maisie takes one taste.

Immediate raspberry explosion.

Goku is now covered in orange spit.

Chi-Chi: “She said no.”

Goku: “She said warp that back to the kitchen.”

⸻

Layla vs. Banana Mash:

Raditz presents it like a royal offering.

Layla grabs the bowl.

Pours it directly on his chest.

Raditz: “It’s a blessing. I am chosen.”

Bulma: “You’re sticky.”

⸻

Cai. Bites. Vegeta.

Vegeta is mid-rant. “She will learn to enjoy carrots! She must respect nutrients! She—”

Cai grabs his tail.

You: “Wait—wait—VEGETA DON’T MOVE—”

Cai leans forward and CHOMPS.

Right on the soft underside.

Vegeta screams like a Namekian banshee.

Goku and Raditz freeze.

Goku: “Did she just—”

Raditz: “SHE BIT HIS TAIL?!”

Vegeta drops into a squat like he’s been sniped.

Vegeta: “SHE… BREACHED MY DEFENSES…”

You: “You okay?!”

Vegeta: still frozen “I… saw the afterlife.”

Cai: smiling, tail wagging, covered in carrot mush

Vegeta: “She’s too powerful. We must… ground her. Somehow.”

⸻

Baby Food Rebellion

• Maisie flings her spoon.
• Layla teleports mid-meal and returns holding a peach.
• Cai grabs the puree jar and flips it like a wrestler.

Chi-Chi: “We are not ready for this.”

You: “I think we just lost.”

Bulma: “They’ve unionized.”

⸻
Almost Quiet Moment

That evening, you and Vegeta sit on the couch.

Cai is curled into your chest, babbling softly, her tail wrapped around your wrist.

Vegeta holds an ice pack to his tail, muttering.

You: “Still sore?”

Vegeta: “My pride. My spine. My soul.”

You kiss his cheek. “She loves you. She just… has a very passionate bite instinct.”

Vegeta, staring at Cai: “I love her. But I fear her.”

You: “Same.”

Chapter 17: Saiyan Crawlers of Doom

Summary:

You thought walking would be the threat? No. Crawling is war.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are drinking iced coffees and having a rare, blissful moment of silence.

Then… it begins.

Cai lifts her head.
Maisie plants her palms.
Layla lets out a battle cry.

All three launch into synchronized crawling.

And everything goes to hell.

⸻

The Crawl Heard ’Round the World

Goku is mid-bite of a dumpling.

Maisie, silent as a shadow, crawls under the table.

She bites his shin.

Goku: “AAAAAAAGH—CHI-CHI I’M UNDER ATTACK!!”

Chi-Chi: without looking up “You’re fine.”

Goku: “SHE’S GOT TEETH, CHI-CHI!”

Maisie blinks up at him, smiling.
Then she crawls away.

Goku: “WHERE DID SHE GO?! WHO TRAINED HER?!”

Chi-Chi: deadpan “You did.”

⸻

Raditz vs. Layla – The Hair Climb

Raditz is laying on the floor doing stretches. Peaceful. Calm.

Layla locks on like a predator.

You watch in horror as she silently scales him. One chunky arm at a time.

She grabs his ponytail like rope.

Raditz: “Bulma… Bulma I feel something…”

Bulma: “Don’t move. She’s above your ear.”

Layla sits triumphantly on his shoulder.

Raditz: “I HAVE BEEN CONQUERED.”

Bulma: “You’re a playground now.”

Layla yanks his hair and burps.

⸻

Vegeta vs. Cai – Stalk and Strike

Vegeta walks down the hallway.

Behind him: Cai. Crawling. Silent. Stealth mode activated.

He pauses. Looks over his shoulder. She’s gone.

Turns back.

She’s closer.

You: “She’s hunting you.”

Vegeta: whispers “She’s doing that thing again.”

You: “The creeping?”

Vegeta: “THE LURK.”

Cai freezes mid-crawl like a busted Roomba.
Pretends to chew her fingers.
Then lunges.

Vegeta leaps three feet in the air.

Vegeta: “I AM HER TARGET.”

⸻

Crawling Chaos Compilation

- Maisie crawls into a basket of laundry and eats a sock.
- Layla knocks over a lamp and claps proudly.
- Cai crawls behind Vegeta and startles him so bad he knocks over a shelf.

Raditz: “We’re outnumbered.”

Vegeta: “We’re being flanked.”

Goku: “She bit me again. I think I’m her favorite chew toy.”

You: “Welcome to level two, gentlemen.”

⸻

The Baby Gates Fall

Bulma installs safety gates.

Cai teleports past them.

Layla body-slams hers and wiggles through.

Maisie just bites hers until it opens.

Chi-Chi: “We can’t contain them.”

Bulma: “We created warriors.”

Vegeta, holding Cai upside down by her ankle: “We birthed assassins.”

Cai giggles and slaps him with her tail.

⸻

Diaper Change Disaster – Crawlers Edition

You lay Cai down to change her.

You turn for ONE WIPE.

She is GONE.

Vegeta: “I’ll check the cabinets.”

Goku: “I’ll check the ceiling vents.”

Raditz: “I found Layla in the fridge last time, so—”

Chi-Chi: “WHAT.”

Raditz: “She looked happy.”

⸻

Final Scene – Cuddle Ambush

You’re laying on the couch.

Goku is asleep in a beanbag with Maisie drooling on his chest.
Raditz has Layla curled into his lap, still tangled in his hair.
Vegeta is on the floor with Cai on his stomach, gently tapping his face with her tail.

Vegeta: “She crawled across the battlefield. She bit my toe. And now… she cuddles.”

You: “She owns you.”

Vegeta: sighs “I surrender.”

Chapter 18: Flight or Fright: The Floating Begins

Summary:

Your babies are floating. Your husbands are flexing. The ceilings will never recover.

It begins… subtly.

Maisie yawns. Lifts her hands.
And starts to float.

You: “GOKU?!”

Goku: “OH MY KAMI—MAISIE COME BACK DOWN YOU’RE GONNA HIT THE FAN!”

Chi-Chi: “DON’T PANIC—GET A PILLOW—NO NOT A SPOON, GOKU—WHY DO YOU HAVE A SPOON?!”

⸻

Levitation Confirmed

Layla is next.

She levitates mid-roll. Spins gently. Crashes into the curtains.
Raditz screams like she’s being abducted.

Raditz: “THEY’VE TAKEN HER—WAIT—SHE’S—SHE’S FLYING?! BULMA I NEED A HARNESS!”

Bulma: “You need THERAPY.”

⸻

Cai?
Cai waits until Vegeta’s drinking tea.

Floats silently.

Vegeta sips. Looks up. Sees her.
Spits tea across the room.

Vegeta: “NO. NOPE. NOT TODAY.”

You: “She’s hovering.”

Vegeta: “SHE’S PLOTTING.”

⸻

Dads Make It a Competition

Goku: “Okay okay okay. We teach them to fly. Fastest baby wins.”

Vegeta: “We will train them in air control, stability, and precision turns.”

Raditz: “I will teach Layla barrel rolls.”

You: “They’re SIX MONTHS OLD.”

Chi-Chi: “They just discovered their toes last week.”

Bulma: “They eat their own fingers.”

The dads: “TRAINING BEGINS AT DAWN.”

⸻

Baby Flight Training – Chaos Ensues

Training Grounds: Capsule Corp Backyard
• Goku has a baby obstacle course made of clouds and pillows.
• Raditz installed mini rings and glitter targets.
• Vegeta cleared the airspace and drew flight diagrams… with crayons.

⸻

Goku & Maisie:

Goku: “Okay, Maisie, hover. Now… JUMP!”

Maisie floats sideways into a bush.

Goku: “She’s BRILLIANT.”

Chi-Chi: “She faceplanted into a rose.”

Goku: “She scented the battlefield.”

⸻

Raditz & Layla:

Raditz: “GO, MY LITTLE WARHAWK!”

Layla zips forward, smacks into a tree, giggles, and starts spinning in place like a hover drone.

Bulma: “She’s stuck.”

Raditz: “She’s gathering power.”

⸻

Vegeta & Cai:

Vegeta: “Focus your center. Feel the air. Trust your ki.”

Cai lifts off.

Vegeta: “YES. NOW—”

She teleports behind him.

Grabs his ear.

Vegeta: “I WAS BETRAYED.”

⸻
Final Flight Showdown – The Sky Babies Rise

They all start flying at once.
• Maisie’s tail steers her like a propeller.
• Layla is vertical and screaming with joy.
• Cai divebombs into a pile of snacks.

The dads start coaching like it’s the Tenkaichi Baby Budokai.

Vegeta: “TIGHTEN FORM!”

Goku: “WIGGLE FORWARD!”

Raditz: “MOUTH CLOSED IN THE AIR—NO EATING WIND!!”

⸻

Mid-Air Mayhem

• Maisie flies into a cupboard and knocks over three mugs.
• Layla drifts toward a pigeon. The pigeon retreats in terror.
• Cai hovers above Vegeta’s head, drops a soggy teether down his shirt, and laughs hysterically.

Vegeta: “I HAVE BEEN HUMILIATED.”

You: “By a baby.”

Vegeta: “BY MY QUEEN.”

⸻

Cuddles in the Sky

The girls are eventually bundled in blankies, floating just above your laps.

Vegeta has his arm around you, a pacifier on his shoulder, and a juice box in his hand.

Vegeta: “They flew today.”

You: “They terrorized us from above.”

Vegeta: smiling softly “I’ve never been prouder.”

Chapter 19: The Saiyan Baby Sleep Regression

Summary:

The most deliriously unhinged, sleep-deprived, tail-whipping, floating-midnight screamfest Capsule Corp has ever seen.

It’s peaceful. Too peaceful.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are finally tucked into bed. Lights off. Bottles washed. Hope in the air.

Then—

12:00 AM – Synchronized Screaming Begins

Maisie: “WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”
Cai: “RAAAAAAAA!!”
Layla: “EEEEEEYAAAAAHHHH!!”

You: “It’s starting.”

Bulma (muffled): “Initiate DEFCON 4.”

Chi-Chi: “Goku get your butt in there before she floats into the ceiling fan again!!”

⸻

Chaos Check-In

Goku stumbles into the nursery in boxers and one sock, holding a banana and a diaper.

Chi-Chi: “GOKU WHY THE BANANA?!”

Goku: “I PANICKED.”

Maisie is hovering, rotating like a haunted mobile.

Goku: “SHE’S ASCENDING.”

⸻

Raditz runs in holding Layla and a burp cloth to his face.

Raditz: sobbing “She burped and then screamed in my mouth.”

Bulma: “What does that even mean?!”

Raditz: “MY SOUL TASTES LIKE FORMULA.”

⸻

Vegeta enters the hallway wearing his robe like a warlord.

Vegeta: “MY DAUGHTER IS WIDE AWAKE AND SPEAKING IN GRUNTS.”

You: “She’s a baby.”

Vegeta: “SHE STARED AT ME LIKE SHE KNEW TAXES WERE DUE.”

⸻

Tail-Slap Terrors

You finally get Cai to lie down.

You: “Okay baby girl… just rest—”

WHAP.

Her tail slaps you in the nose.

You: “Ow—Vegeta! She hit me!”

Vegeta (from the floor): “She hit me too. It’s how she says goodnight.”

Layla tail-slaps Raditz.

Raditz: “SHE TAGGED ME. I’M IT!”

Maisie slaps Goku in the shin and floats away.

Goku: “SHE’S IN THE VENT!”

Chi-Chi: “NO MORE CRAWLING IN VENTS!”

⸻

Lullaby Madness

Bulma pulls out a speaker.

Bulma: “I recorded lullabies.”

Raditz: “What are the lyrics?”

Bulma: “Please go to sleep, my little star… stop floating, please, and don’t throw jars…”

Vegeta smirks. “Weak.”

You: “Then YOU do it.”

Cut to: Vegeta in the recording booth.

Singing a lullaby in Saiyan.

Cai instantly falls asleep.

Everyone stares.

Vegeta: “I’m not just a warrior. I am a melody.”

Goku: “Can you sing for Maisie?”

Vegeta: “I’m not a jukebox, Kakarot.”

⸻

The Sleep-Deprivation Spiral

Goku is found standing in the fridge holding a bib.

Chi-Chi: “What are you doing?”

Goku: “I forgot.”

Raditz is under a blanket, eyes wide, whispering: “I hear her crawling… she’s coming for my toes…”

Bulma: “She’s literally chewing a sock across the room.”

Vegeta is pacing in the gravity chamber holding Cai.

You: “You okay?”

Vegeta: “I’ve slept for 9 minutes in four days. She drooled on me, then punched me with her foot, then hugged me. I don’t know if I’m broken or blessed.”

You: “Yes.”

⸻

Final 4 AM Collapse

All three babies finally fall asleep.

In one crib. Together. Tails tangled. Mouths open. Total angels.

The dads?
• Goku asleep in a laundry basket with a pacifier in his mouth
• Raditz snoring face-down in a pillow that says “Boss Dad”
• Vegeta passed out on the nursery floor with a teddy bear on his chest, one eye twitching, muttering “tail coordination… impressive…”

You whisper to the girls: “You win. Again.”

And from the hallway, faintly, Raditz moans: “I pooped… no wait… I didn’t…”

Chapter 20: Naptime Ninjas & Teething Terrors

Summary:

Three teething babies. Four deranged Saiyans. One nap on the line.

All is calm.

Maisie is curled up on Goku’s chest. Sweet. Peaceful. Drooling like a melted popsicle.

Goku whispers, “Chi-Chi! She’s asleep! She’s—”

CHOMP.

Maisie launches up like a teething torpedo and bites his earlobe.

Goku: “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! SHE GOT ME!! SHE GOT MY EAR!! I NEED MEDICAL—SHE’S GIGGLING!!”

Chi-Chi: “She’s teething, Goku. She’s practicing hunting.”

Maisie: innocently floats back down, tail flicking.

⸻

Layla Destroys Her Enemy

Raditz hands her a plush dinosaur.

Layla stares at it.

Bites its face.

Tears the squeaker out.

Throws it into a house plant.

Bulma: “What. Just. Happened.”

Raditz, on his knees: “She devoured her first foe. I am emotional.”

Layla hisses at a sock. It flees under the couch.

⸻
Cai vs. Vegeta’s Armor

You walk into the living room to find Cai hanging off Vegeta’s shoulder plate like a teething gremlin.

You: “Babe.”

Vegeta: “I can’t move. If I move, she repositions and bites harder.”

You: “Is she… smiling?”

Vegeta: “She is. WITH HER TEETH.”

You: “You’ve faced Buu.”

Vegeta: “Buu didn’t drool in my collarbone and call it dominance.”

⸻

The Official Saiyan Dad Nap Showdown

After five days with no REM sleep, no quiet, and ten collective bite wounds, the girls finally pass out.

You: “Okay. One of you can nap for 30 minutes.”

Silence.

Then—

Goku: “TOURNAMENT STYLE. BATTLE FOR THE BED.”

Raditz: “YES. SLEEP OR DIE.”

Vegeta: “I WILL DESTROY YOU FOR 30 MINUTES OF HORIZONTAL BLISS.”

Chi-Chi: “No powers.”

Bulma: “No flying.”

You: “No instant transmission.”

Vegeta: “THEN HOW DO I CHEAT?!”

⸻

The Sleepover Brawl

Goku vs. Raditz – Baby Bottle Jousting

Each man on a yoga ball. Armed with baby bottles taped to wooden spoons.

Raditz spins too fast, flings himself into the bookshelf.

Goku: “I WIN BY DEFAULT!”

Chi-Chi: “No, you win a HEADACHE.”

⸻

Vegeta vs. Goku – Diaper Wrap Duel

Rules: fastest diaper-wrap using a watermelon.

Vegeta wraps it so tight it EXPLODES.

Goku gets distracted and eats a snack mid-wrap.

Vegeta: “YOU ATE YOUR WAY TO DEFEAT.”

⸻

All Three – Rock, Paper, Tail Flick

They all tie for five rounds.

Cai wakes up, floats between them, tail-slaps the table.

Vegeta: “She has chosen. I nap.”

Cai: burps dramatically.

You: “No one naps.”

All three collapse on the floor and snore simultaneously.

⸻

Peace Returns (Temporarily)

The girls are teething-ringed up, swaddled in chaos blankets, and napping together.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi sip lukewarm coffee while watching the dads twitch in their sleep.

Chi-Chi: “Think they’ll survive the molar stage?”

Bulma: “Doubt it.”

You: “Good.”

Chapter 21: The First Steps and the Final Straw

Summary:

They turned one. They walked. No one survived.

There are balloons. Streamers. Confetti cannons. A suspicious amount of glitter.

Whis is levitating the three-tiered cake.

Beerus is already licking frosting off a present.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are in matching “Survivor: Year One” shirts.
The babies are dressed like royalty.
• Maisie is in a pink sparkle romper with tail holes.
• Layla is wearing battle armor made of plush.
• Cai is dressed in black and gold with “WRECKING BALL” stitched across the butt.

Everything is calm. Suspiciously calm.

Until—

⸻

The Cake Incident

Goku picks up a cupcake.

Maisie snatches it.

Bites it. Throws it.

It hits Raditz in the chest.
Raditz flinches and drops Layla—who uses the momentum to kick a cupcake tower over.

Vegeta yells, “NOT THE STRUCTURAL CUPCAKES!!”

Cai laughs maniacally, tail slapping the frosting table, launching glittery icing into Beerus’s face.

Beerus: “I WILL END THIS PARTY—wait. Is this guava?”

⸻

First Steps of Doom

You set Cai down next to a gift bag.

She stands.

Vegeta blinks. “She’s upright. Is she… floating?”

You: “No, she’s standing. On her own.”

Vegeta: “Don’t tease me.”

Cai wobbles.

Takes one step.

Two.

Three.

EVERYONE SCREAMS.

Goku: “SHE’S DOING IT!”

Chi-Chi: “WHERE’S THE CAMERA?!”

Vegeta: frozen, gasping, shaking “I—WASN’T—RECORDING!!”

Vegeta turns to Whis.

“WHIS. USE YOUR STAFF. GO BACK THREE MINUTES. I NEED THE FOOTAGE. I NEED—THE FOOTAGE!!”

Whis: “…Did you just try to DVR your child?”

Vegeta: “YES AND I’D DO IT AGAIN!”

⸻

Walkers Unleashed

Layla sees Cai walking.

Growls.

Stands.

Walks.

Full sprint through a stack of presents.

Raditz: “SHE’S MOBILIZED. SHE’S GOING FOR THE BANNERS.”

Layla dives into the streamer pile and emerges like a party warlord.
She headbutts a balloon arch and screams.

Bulma: “She has entered Phase Two.”

⸻

Maisie?
Maisie walks… casually… across the gift table.

Eats half a bow.

Goku: “I’M NOT EVEN MAD. SHE’S GRACEFUL.”

Maisie walks up to Whis. Offers him a soggy cupcake.
Whis levitates it. It explodes in confetti.

Beerus: “I DIDN’T AGREE TO PARTICIPATE IN A LIVE-STAGE MUSICAL.”

⸻

Tail Tag and Teether War

The babies invent Tail Tag.

Cai slaps Maisie’s tail and teleports.

Maisie bites Layla’s tail.

Layla chucks a teether like a boomerang and hits Goku in the forehead.

Raditz, mid-hug, is tackled by all three.

They use streamers to tie him up.

Raditz: “I’VE BEEN DEFEATED BY BIRTHDAY BABIES—AND I’M HONORED.”

⸻

Cake Time… and Collapse

The babies are sat in front of the cake.

Everyone’s ready.

You light the candle.

They stare.

Maisie leans forward…
Cai teleports behind the cake…
Layla raises her hand…

BOOM.

They explode the cake together in a sticky, sugary blast of glory.

Vegeta is covered in frosting.

Goku is licking it off his cheek.

Raditz is sobbing into his party hat.

You: “Best. Birthday. Ever.”

Vegeta: licks frosting off Cai’s nose “She walked… and then vaporized a cake. She’s perfect.”

Chapter 22: Vegeta’s The Toddler Trial

Summary:

She’s blonde. She’s loud. And Vegeta just lost his bloodline.

You offer Cai a snack pouch.

She blinks.
Looks down.
Sees it’s apple cinnamon.

Not apple banana.

Her left eye twitches.

Vegeta, watching from the doorway with a mug: “That’s not good.”

Cai grunts.

You: “She’s okay. It’s just a snack.”

The pouch tips over.

Applesauce hits her sock.

The scream is heard in Otherworld.

⸻

The Glow Awakens

You try to calm her.

Maisie floats under the couch.
Layla hides behind the curtains.

Cai SCREAMS.

The lights flicker.
The floor rumbles.
Vegeta drops his mug in slow motion.

Goku (peeking in): “Is the ceiling supposed to sparkle??”

Chi-Chi: “Why is there wind in the house?”

Cai’s hair lifts.

Spikes.

GLOWS.

You: “NO. NO WAY—”

Bulma grabs a camera.

Raditz: “SHE’S TURNING GOLD OVER FRUIT SAUCE!”

⸻

Super Saiyan Cai Is Born

Boom.

The teething ring explodes.
Her onesie burns at the edges.

Cai has officially gone Super Saiyan.

Floating two feet off the floor.
Cheeks red.
Hair glowing like a tiny, furious sunbeam.

Vegeta?
Completely paralyzed.

Vegeta: “…She’s ascended.”

You: “Can someone grab her?”

Vegeta: “I CAN’T EVEN BREATHE.”

⸻

The Headbutt Heard ’Round the Universe

Cai locks eyes with Vegeta.
Floats at him.

Vegeta: “My princess—my heir—my—”

WHAM.

HEADBUTT.

RIGHT TO THE ROYAL SAIYAN PACKAGE.

Vegeta collapses.

Gasping. Curled. Voice five octaves higher.

Goku: “SHE GOT HIM IN THE PRINCE PEACHES!!”

Raditz: on the floor, crying with laughter “WHIS REPLAY THAT PLEASE—PLEASE—”

Whis: “Already looped it in 3 angles. HD. Slow motion. Wide and close-up.”

Vegeta: wheezing “Why… did I train her so… well…”

⸻

The Aftermath

Cai lands softly in your arms. Glowing fades.

She yawns.

Snuggles.

Completely innocent.

You: “You okay, babe?”

Vegeta, voice cracking: “I’ve been humbled. By my own genetics.”

Bulma: “You got dropped by a toddler.”

Chi-Chi: “Honestly? Legendary.”

 

That night, the footage plays on the living room projector.

Whis added dramatic music.
Beerus requests a slow-motion encore.

You and Cai snuggle while Vegeta sits with an ice pack.

Cai pats his cheek.

Vegeta whispers, “She is the most powerful being I’ve ever known.”

You: “She’s your daughter.”

Vegeta: “She is my ruler.”

Chapter 23: The Word Heard ’Round the Living Room

Summary:

Their first word is sweet. Their second word is chaos.

You’re sitting on the living room floor with Cai, surrounded by toys and an aggressively confused Vegeta.

Cai’s playing with her tail, babbling in syllables and spitting on a rubber giraffe.

You: “Say mama.”

Cai: “Buh. Muh. Buh-pfft.”

Vegeta leans in dramatically.
“Say Papa.”

Cai blinks. Tilts her head.

Then, clear as day—

“Papa.”

Vegeta freezes.

Cai: “Papa!”

“PAPA!”

“PAPAPAPAPAPA!!”

Vegeta flings himself backward into the couch like he’s been shot.

Vegeta: “SHE SAID IT. SHE CHOSE ME FIRST. I WIN BABY TALK.”

You: “It’s not a competition.”

Vegeta: “THEN WHY AM I HOLDING A TROPHY?!”

⸻

Domino Effect – The “Papa” Apocalypse

Down the hall:

Maisie waddles up to Goku and whacks his foot with a plush block.

Goku: “Hey, sweetheart—what’s up?”

Maisie: “Papa!”

Goku stares at her like she just hit Ultra Instinct.

Goku: “DID YOU HEAR THAT?! SHE SAID PAPA! SHE SAID IT TO ME, RIGHT?!”

Chi-Chi: “Goku. She says that to trees.”

Goku: “BUT I’M HER FAVORITE TREE!”

⸻

Layla bites a sock. Throws it at Raditz. Screeches:

“PAPA!!”

Raditz bursts into tears.

Bulma: “Did she call you or threaten you?”

Raditz: “BOTH. AND I’LL TAKE IT.”

⸻

The Parrot Phase

The girls start copying everything.
Every. Damn. Word.

You sneeze: “Oh crap.”

Cai: “Cwap!”

Vegeta: “That’s not even close to a—”

Cai: “CRAAAP!!”

Raditz stubs his toe: “SON OF A BITCH”

Maisie: “SONNNABIIIIITCH!!”

Goku: “Did she just—”

Maisie: “SONNABITCHHHH!!”

⸻

Layla watches a cartoon character fall.

She claps her hands.

“Dumbass!”

Bulma: “Excuse me?!”

Layla: “DUMBAAASS!”

Raditz: “Oh my GOD she’s fluent in sarcasm!”

⸻

The Swearstorm Meltdown

You walk into the kitchen and step in juice.

You: “Dammit.”

Three voices in unison: “DAMMIT!!”

Chi-Chi drops a plate: “Shit—!”

“SHIT!! SHIIIIIT!!”

Whis floats in with cupcakes.

Cai: “OH SHIT IT’S WHIS.”

Vegeta screams: “WHIS USE YOUR STAFF AND ERASE THAT!!”

Whis: “Absolutely not.”

⸻

2 weeks later they Out-Saiyan Their Dads

Cai, sipping juice, looks at Vegeta and says:

“Papa. That was an inefficient tactical decision.”

Vegeta: “WHAT?!”

Maisie, to Goku:

“Why would you pour cereal before checking if we had milk?”

Goku: “I—how did you—she’s one!!”

Layla walks up to Raditz, slaps a wrench into his hand.

“Fix the drawer, Papa. It’s loose. Also you need therapy.”

Raditz: already lying down in defeat.

Later that evening the girls are sitting on the couch.

Matching pajamas. Sippy cups in hand. Perfectly still.

Watching the news.

Cai: “Economy’s tanking.”

Maisie: “Blame capitalism.”

Layla: “Blame Raditz.”

Raditz: “WHY ME?!”

You, entering the room: “How are they smarter than all of you already?!”

Vegeta, curled on the floor with a pacifier in one hand and a juice box in the other:
“They were born into chaos. And they adapted.”

Chapter 24: The Goldilocks Uprising

Summary:

When it’s too quiet… check for glowing toddlers.

You’re sipping juice on the patio with Bulma and Chi-Chi.

Everything is quiet.

Too quiet.

No thumps. No babbling. No teether smacks. No Goku screaming about his earlobe.

You glance around.
“…Where are the girls?”

Bulma lowers her sunglasses. “Where are the men?”

Chi-Chi squints. “You don’t think—?”

All three of you, in sync:
“Check the ki levels.”

There’s a sudden flare.

A crackle of power.

Then…

“PAPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

You all sprint toward the nursery like you’re charging into battle.

⸻

Toddler War Zone

You fling the playroom doors open—

And immediately freeze.

Cai is standing on a beanbag like a baby general.
Her hair is glowing. Spiked. Gold.

Behind her:

• Maisie is levitating upside down, juice pouch in one hand, sparkles fizzing around her head.
• Layla is chewing on a pacifier made of energy and holding up Raditz’s sandal. Telekinetically.

In the corner:
• Goku is face-down in a pile of toys.
• Vegeta is curled up near a rattle, mumbling “she’s perfect… but I can’t feel my legs…”
• Raditz is out cold with one sock missing and a marker mustache drawn on his face.

Chi-Chi: “WHAT. IS. THIS.”

Cai turns slowly. Glowing. Smiling.

“Training.”

⸻

Cai, the Baby Commander

You step carefully over Goku’s unconscious body.

You: “Cai… baby girl… what are you doing?”

Cai: “Teaching. Super Saiyan 101. For papas.”

Bulma: “The papas are DEAD.”

Maisie floats by and high-fives Layla midair.

Maisie: “Papa down!”

Layla: “Papa go BOOM!”

Cai: “Lesson 3: Power naps are for weaklings.”

Vegeta groans.

Vegeta: “She made me do push-ups. I blacked out at 300.”

Chi-Chi: “HOW DID SHE MAKE YOU—”

Vegeta: “She offered juice. Then crushed the box in front of me and yelled, “EARN IT, PAPA!”

⸻

Chaos Dialogue Masterpiece

Goku wakes up with a binky stuck to his forehead.

Goku: “Maisie went glow mode. She said, ‘Papa slow. Train faster.’ Then she bit the couch.”

Chi-Chi: “She WHAT?!”

Layla zips past them on a floating diaper pail like it’s a spaceship.

Raditz stirs. “She put her tail in my nose and yelled ‘WAKE UP MAGGOT!’”

Bulma: “I’m so proud I could cry.”

Cai floats gently down. Her glow fades slightly. She toddles up to Vegeta.

“Papa.”

Vegeta: “Yes?”

She headbutts his knee.

Vegeta: “I DESERVE THIS.”

⸻

Tactical Baby Breakdown

You: “You girls can’t just—train yourselves into Super Saiyan!”

Cai: “Why not?”

You: “Because—because—”

Cai: “We smarter.”

Maisie: “We stronger.”

Layla: “We cuter.”

Goku: still dizzy “Can’t argue that.”

Cai: to the other two “Lesson 4: Papa logic is soft.”

Vegeta groans louder.
“Whis… please… go back five minutes. Warn me.”

Whis floats in, recording everything.

Whis: “Oh no. I’m putting this in the Galactic Parenting Archives. Volume One.”

⸻

Final Blow

The girls form a triangle. Float one foot off the ground.

They raise their hands.

“PAPA! PAPA! PAPA!”

Goku: “Aww they’re cheering for us!”

Maisie: “TO FIGHT AGAIN!!”

Raditz: “OH NO—”

Layla launches a plush teether across the room like a rocket.

It hits a button on the wall.

The gravity dial spins.

The room tilts.

Everyone SCREAMS.

The girls levitate calmly.

Cai: “Lesson 5: Adapt to chaos.”

Vegeta: “SHE’S ME BUT SHORTER.”

The gravity stabilizes. The girls snuggle together in the beanbag pile, tails coiled, little sparks still in their hair.

You sit beside Vegeta, holding Cai.

You: “She taught them Super Saiyan. At one.”

Vegeta: “I love her. I fear her.”

You: “She’s your child.”

Vegeta: quietly “She’s our future warlord.”

Maisie snores.

Layla burps the alphabet.

The lights flicker one last time.

You: “Let’s never leave them alone again.”

Chi-Chi: “We should start drinking.”

Bulma: “I already did.”

Chapter 25: Spa Day Massacre: Papas in Peril

Summary:

The moms got massages. The dads got mauled.

The hover limo is gleaming. The three of you are glowing—partly from highlighter, mostly from pure joy.

You: “You packed the backup bottles?”

Chi-Chi: “Yep. Extra snacks, too.”

Bulma: “Emergency ki-dampening bracelets are on the dresser.”

You: “And the papas?”

Chi-Chi: “They’re on their own.”

Outside, Goku’s face is smashed against the window.

Goku: “WAIT—YOU’RE REALLY LEAVING THEM?!”

You (grinning through the tinted glass):
“NOPE. WE’RE LEAVING YOU. BYEEEEEE!”

Limo speeds off.

Whis (chauffeuring): “Shall I activate the ‘Do Not Disturb the Mothers’ field?”

Bulma: “Please and thank you.”

⸻

The First Scream

Back at Capsule Corp…

Goku, Raditz, and Vegeta stand in the nursery.
Three dads. Three Super Saiyan toddlers. Zero plans.

Maisie is levitating upside down.
Layla is hiding behind the curtains already.
Cai is standing in her gold glow, arms crossed.

Vegeta: “Why is she standing like she’s about to deliver a speech?”

Cai: “Papas. Today… we riot.”

Raditz: “Wait, what?!”

Maisie: “Nap? No nap. War.”

Goku: “OH NO THEY’VE ORGANIZED—”

⸻

Tantrum City

Tantrum 1:
Cai’s juice box is “too warm.”
She power-blasts it across the room.

Vegeta: “You know what? Fair.”

⸻

Tantrum 2:
Layla wants her tail braid redone.
Raditz tries. Fails.
Layla screams and creates a wind tunnel that knocks over the entire toy shelf.

Bulma’s voice plays faintly from a speaker: “Told you so.”

⸻

Tantrum 3:
Goku tells Maisie to lie down for quiet time.

Maisie: “Papa, that’s offensive.”
Goku: “OH SHE KNOWS SARCASM.”

⸻

Lunch Chaos

Vegeta tries to feed Cai a spoonful of veggie mash.

She locks eyes with him.

Cai: “You eat it.”

Vegeta: “I—what?”

Cai: “You. Eat it. First.”

Vegeta takes a bite.

Cai: “Now give me chocolate.”

Vegeta: whispering to himself “She’s negotiating. I’m losing.”

⸻

Raditz presents Layla with a bento box.

Layla stares at it.

Floats away silently.

Raditz: “Did I just get ghosted by my baby?”

⸻

Maisie eats everything.

Then stares at Goku.

Maisie: “Snack?”

Goku: “That was your snack.”

Maisie: “Snack. Or I scream.”

Maisie: starts glowing.

Goku, panicking: “I’LL GET THE SNACK.”

⸻

Hide and Seek From Hell

Goku suggests it. “Let’s play hide and seek!”

Big mistake.

Maisie hides under the couch. Obvious. Cute.

Cai teleports into the cabinet.

Layla?

Vanishes.

Like, completely.

No ki signature. No sparkle trail.
Just gone.

Raditz: “SHE’S NOT ON EARTH.”

Vegeta: “THIS IS WHY I HATE GAMES.”

They spend 45 minutes searching.
Goku is crying in the fridge.
Vegeta punches a curtain.

Layla reappears in the laundry basket. Holding a cookie.

Layla: “I win.”

⸻

Papa Breakdown Hour

Goku is holding a burp cloth like a flag of surrender.

Maisie is riding his back.

Maisie: “Giddy-up, Papa.”

Goku: “I haven’t blinked in three hours.”

⸻

Raditz is being used as a jungle gym.
Layla is standing on his back, screaming “VICTORY!!”

Raditz: “I live for her approval… but also help me.”

⸻

Vegeta sits on the floor. Cai on his lap.
Cai: “Papa?”

Vegeta: “Yes?”

Cai: “You did okay.”

Vegeta (holding back tears): “That’s the highest compliment I’ve ever received.”

⸻

Moms Return to Carnage

You open the door.

Instant explosion of sound. Glitter. Half a wall missing.

Raditz is curled in a blanket mumbling about “tail-braids of doom.”

Goku is face-down on the carpet. Maisie sitting on his head.

Vegeta’s hair is frizzed. His armor is melted.

Cai hands you a note she drew.

It says: “Mama > Papa”

You: “Accurate.”

Chi-Chi: “We leave for ONE DAY—”

Bulma: “Totally worth it.”

You all lift your girls.

They snuggle in instantly, tails curling around your wrists, golden hair settling into softness.

Cai whispers, “Papa did his best.”

You look at Vegeta.

He nods proudly. Then collapses.

Chapter 26: Sleep Regression 2: Electric Screamaloo

Summary:

Three toddlers. One night. Zero sleep. ALL SCREAM.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi are asleep.
Blankets cozy. White noise humming. Peace restored.

Until—

The baby monitor flickers.
Static. Buzzing. Then…

“Papa? HeLp.”

CRACK-KABOOM!

All the lights flicker.

The power grid wobbles.

Goku bolts upright. “THEY’RE FLOATING AGAIN!”

⸻

Toddler Uprising Begins

Maisie is hovering upside down, spinning slowly.

Layla is clinging to the ceiling with her tail like a demon baby spider.

Cai is levitating in the lotus position, glowing, chanting, “No more naps. No more naps.”

Vegeta: “WHY IS SHE IN A MEDITATIVE STANCE?!”

Raditz: “WHY IS LAYLA ON THE CEILING—SHE’S NOT EVEN CRYING SHE’S LAUGHING.”

Maisie: giggle-whispers “Papa’s scared…”

Goku: “YES. I AM.”

⸻

Lullaby Meltdown

Goku tries singing.

Goku: “Go to sleep, my little—ow, no, that’s my face—ow—”

Maisie kicks him in the chin and zooms away laughing.

Vegeta activates a lullaby playlist Bulma made.

A cursed kazoo remix starts.

Cai SCREAMS.

Layla bursts into sparkles.

Maisie sings along—in reverse.

Raditz: “WHO TAUGHT HER REVERSE SINGING?! WHO IS RAISING THESE BABIES?!”

You (from the doorway): “YOU. YOU ARE.”

⸻

Sleepwalking Despair

Goku, half-conscious, walks into the hallway holding a blanket and a banana.

Goku: “Is this… the baby? I brought her a snack…”

Chi-Chi: “THAT’S A FRUIT. SHE’S IN THE AIR VENT.”

Maisie pops out of the air vent, screams “PAPA!” and slaps his head.

Goku collapses.

⸻

The Scream Fusion

The girls stop.

Look at each other.

Nod.

They inhale. Deep. Purposeful.

Then—

THEY SCREAM. TOGETHER.

One perfect, harmonic, death scream.

Windows shatter.
Raditz is flung into the wall.
Vegeta drops to his knees.
Goku cries and offers a pacifier to a potted plant.

You, Bulma, and Chi-Chi storm in.

You: “WHAT HAPPENED?!”

Cai: “Power.”

Maisie: “Unlimited.”

Layla: “Sleep is for cowards.”

⸻

The Aftermath

The sun rises.

The girls are finally out cold—wrapped in weighted blankets, drooling on each other.

The dads?

• Vegeta is buried under pillows, muttering Saiyan war poems.
• Goku is asleep on the floor with a pacifier in his ear.
• Raditz is tied to the rocking chair by glow-in-the-dark pacifier lanyards.

Chi-Chi: “You good?”

Raditz (eyes wide): “They screamed into my soul.”

Bulma: “You earned this.”

You kiss Cai’s cheek.
She sighs in her sleep and mumbles, “Papa… weak…”

Vegeta: sobbing “I love her so much.”

Chapter 27: The Saiyan Tea Party Takeover

Summary:

Formal dress required. Dignity not guaranteed.

The floor is covered in glittering rugs.

There’s soft classical music playing (it’s actually a remix of “Let It Go” with drums).

Tiny tables are draped in satin. Plastic jewels sparkle like dragon balls. Each seat has a place card. The air smells like apple juice and manipulation.

At the head of the room sit Cai, Maisie and Layla. Wearing tiaras. Holding clipboards.

Vegeta walks in. Stops.

Vegeta: “No.”

Cai: “Papa.”

Vegeta: “No.”

Cai pulls out a glowing glitter teacup with #1 PAPA etched in sparkly font.

Cai: “It’s for you.”

Vegeta: “…I’ll change.”

⸻

Goku strolls in.

Maisie: “Papa.”

Goku: “I’m not putting on that pink vest.”

Maisie holds up a tablet.
Plays a clip of him crying during a lullaby two months ago.

Maisie: “Participate. Or I show Beerus.”

Goku: already sitting “I LOVE PINK.”

⸻

Raditz enters. Looks around.

Layla: “Ah. The Honorable Earl of Juiceville has arrived.”

Raditz blinks. “That’s me.”

Bulma: “She’s got him.”

Layla pats a chair. “Sit. Or lose your title.”

Raditz: “I WILL DEFEND MY THRONE.”

⸻

The Tea Begins

Whis, in a velvet vest, floats forward.

Whis: “I have been promoted to Royal Tea Sommelier. Against my will.”

Beerus is sitting in the corner eating frosting off the cupcakes.

Beerus: “If I don’t get a saucer, I’m leveling something.”

Chi-Chi: “We’ll get you a saucer. Just don’t vaporize the glitter table.”

⸻

Cai: “Papa, pour the tea.”

Vegeta attempts to pour imaginary tea into her tiny cup.

Cai: “That’s too fast. Be graceful.”

Vegeta: “I’M A WARRIOR NOT A MAID—”

Cai glares.

Vegeta bows. “Yes, Princess.”

⸻

Maisie: “Papa, stir gently.”

Goku: stirring with his finger “Am I doing it?”

Maisie: “Like you’re mixing destiny.”

Goku, crying: “She’s so poetic.”

⸻

Layla: “Papa, pinky out.”

Raditz extends his pinky so hard he pulls a muscle.

Bulma: “You strained your hand… over a fake crumpet.”

Raditz: “I AM THE EARL. I HAVE A DUTY.”

⸻

Royal Decrees

Cai: “Papa, compliment your tea.”

Vegeta: “It… it tastes like… strength and glory.”

Cai: “Acceptable.”

Maisie: “Papa, tell me I’m majestic.”

Goku: “You are the most majestic angel I’ve ever met.”

Maisie: “You may have another scone.”

Layla: “Papa, recite a haiku about cupcakes.”

Raditz: “Frosting like ki blasts—
Sugar hits my inner soul—
My tail twitches proud.”

Layla: wipes a tear “Nailed it.”

⸻

The Betrayal Round (Tea Party Games)

Game: Pass the Crown

Vegeta cheats and holds onto the tiara for too long.

Cai: “Papa has been disqualified.”

Vegeta: “WHAT?! I AM THE PRIN—”

Cai gently flicks her tail.
Vegeta’s chair spins out from under him.

Vegeta (from the floor): “I have dishonored the parlor.”

⸻

Goku wins a marshmallow crown.

Maisie: “Papa, your reign shall be brief but sticky.”

Goku: “I LOVE THIS GAME.”

⸻

Raditz tries to steal a second cupcake.

Layla: “THE EARL HAS FALLEN.”

Raditz is tackled by glitter-firing plushies.

⸻

Final Toast

The girls raise their cups.

Cai: “To Papas. Who pour juice with honor.”

Maisie: “Who cry softly at lullabies.”

Layla: “And who wear pinky rings like royalty.”

The papas clink cups.

Vegeta: “I would die for her.”

Goku: “I almost did. She threw a scone at me.”

Raditz: “If I ever lose my Earl status, bury me with my cravat.”

⸻

Final shot:

The moms peek in.

You: “Should we interrupt?”

Bulma: “They’re in gowns.”

Chi-Chi: “Raditz has glitter on his abs.”

You: “We’re leaving them.”

Bulma: “Agreed.”

Notes:

I hope y’all like it and give it some love ❤️