Chapter 1: The beginning
Chapter Text
Max was sleeping in her bed and Caroline was on her bed in the living room when she was woken up from Max screaming in her sleep, she woke up and ran to her bedroom “Max! Max, wake up!” she said as she was shaking her. Max was still screaming and started kicking around “Max come on, you gotta wake up!” Caroline said as she was still shaking her, Max finally woke up but was in a panic and couldn’t breathe. “Okay okay, you’re okay, look at me, look in my eyes” Caroline says and Max does just that “Okay now breathe in and out with me” She breathes in and out in a calming manner and Max follows her and finally starts to calm down and is able to breathe again “Better?” Caroline asks, all Max could do was nod “Good, I’ll get you some water” Caroline leaves to get Max water and comes back to the room to find Max sat on the bed with her knees to her chest “Here, drink this, it’ll help you feel better” Max takes the water from Caroline’s hand and takes slow sips then puts the cup down on her nightstand “thank you” Max says “of course. Do you wanna talk about what you were dreaming about?” “Not really, no” “That’s okay, can I do anything to help?” “Lay with me?” “Sure” Max lays down and Caroline lays down next to her, careful not to touch her. They’re both on their back, looking up at the ceiling in a comfortable silence and Max starts crying, not audibly but Caroline can see what’s happening. She sits up and asks if she can do anything to help “I don’t think so, I don’t know” Max says and at this point, she’s full on audibly crying “It’s okay, you’re okay, just let it out, I’m right here” and she lost it at that point, full on screaming and crying, clutching at her chest, the whole nine yards and Caroline just sat there with her, Max never does this so she could tell something was really wrong but she wasn’t gonna push her on it, she was just going to be here until she was ready to talk. Max was crying so hard, she started not being able to breathe “Mama please, I don’t know what to do” Caroline was shocked at this, she’s never heard Max speak like this “Mama, please, please, I need help” “Max, do you know where you are right now? Do you know who I am?” All Max kept repeating was “Mama please, I need you” and Caroline could see the blankness in her eyes as if she wasn’t here. She went to grab her hand but Max pulled away and started panicking “Please don’t, don’t touch me, please” “Max honey, you’re okay. You’re safe. You’re okay, I’m right here, you’re safe” Caroline kept repeating that until Max was finally able to calm down, her breathing slowed and she had stopped crying as hard, she drank some of the water that was on the nightstand “Caroline? What happened? Why are you in my room?” “You don’t remember?” “Remember what? What time is it?” “It’s nearly 3am” “Shit okay, I have to sleep, tell me what happened tomorrow. Goodnight.” She then rolled over and went to sleep like nothing happened and Caroline went back to her bed in the living room, worried about Max. They then woke up and went to work the next day and everything was fine, Caroline had told Max what happened and she couldn’t believe it and brushed it off like it was nothing. Day went by and Max was fine and then they went home to sleep and the same thing happened again. “Max honey! Wake up! Come on, you have to wake up!” “Caroline please, you have to get him away from me!” “Who Max?” “Him! He’s right there! Please, you have to get him away! Please!” She was crying at this point and Caroline was pretty sure she was still sleeping because there was no one there. “Max honey, wake up! Come on! Wake up!” Max grabbed Caroline’s arm “Please get him away!” Caroline was shocked and didn’t know what to do so she went along with it “Go away! Max doesn’t want you here! Go away! Now!” Caroline yelled into the air, hoping it would calm Max down and it did “Thank you” “Max honey, are you awake now?” She got no answer back so she assumed she was sleeping and went to go get up when Max grabbed at her arm again “Please don’t leave me. Please.” “Okay Max, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere” Caroline layed down on her back next to Max and Max moved over and layed her head on her. Caroline was shocked to her core by this, Max has never been much of a physical touch person, she wasn’t sure of what to do so she just stayed still. “Mama, can you hold me please?” Caroline then put her arm around her “Of course honey. You’re okay, mama’s here.” She was sure she wouldn’t remember this when she woke up so she just played along and swore she wouldn’t bring it up again. The next morning came and sure enough Max had no recollection of what had happened the previous night and was confused to see Caroline in her bad “Caroline? Why are you in my bed?” Caroline woke up and had to think of something quick “Mine broke last night so I used yours. Sorry.” “All good, just make sure you get it fixed.” “Already on it”. The day went on as usual and then the night came again “Mama! Mama, where are you? I need you! Please mama!” Caroline came running into Max’s room again “Mama’s right here honey, you’re okay. Are you awake Max?” “Please don’t leave me again” Caroline took that as a no and climbed into bed with Max “Mama’s right here sweetie, I’m not going anywhere” she said as she took hold of Max and played with her hair as she cuddled into her. The same thing seemed to happen over and over until one night it didn’t and that caused Caroline to worry so she went to go check in on Max and found her happily asleep and she assumed she was okay so she went back to her bed to lie down. Max woke up in the middle of the night and went to where Caroline was sleeping and climbed into bed with her, this woke Caroline up “Max? What’s wrong?” “Nothing, just wanted to sleep next to you. Is that okay? I can go back to my bed ""No, you’re okay. Do you wanna cuddle or just lay next to me?” “Cuddle please” “Okay, come on” Caroline laid on her back and Max cuddled into her. “I very slightly remember what’s been happening these past few nights, I’m sorry for putting you through that.” “You’re okay honey, nothing to apologize for. If you wanna talk about anything, I’m here. If not, I’m still here.” “Do you remember when I freaked out about there being a man around me and I needed you to get him away?” “Yeah?” “About a year before we met, I was raped and I haven’t properly dealt with it. I’m fine most of the time but sometimes, it just really eats at me and I get these really bad panic attacks and flashbacks and it makes it hard to sleep or do anything and sometimes, I would have really bad nightmares about him being around me and trying to get me again, which is what was happening that night.” “I’m so sorry Max, that’s awful. Thank you for telling me.” “Thank you for being here for me” “Of course, I’m not going anywhere” Caroline gives Max a kiss on the forehead while playing with her hair “Can we please never mention any of this to anyone? I don’t want anyone knowing about what happened, both to me then and to me now ""Of course, our secret, promise ""Thank you ""Always” They fell asleep like this and Max has felt the safest she’s felt in a very long time.
Chapter 2: Comfort
Summary:
It happened again and Caroline is still there
Chapter Text
A couple weeks go by and it was the middle of the day and Max was trying to take a nap in her room while Caroline was laying on the couch and she started to hear Max cry, she went into her room and saw that she was awake and just bawling her eyes out under the covers.
“Max honey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m broken Caroline, everything is wrong, I see him in every man I look at, I can feel him on my body, I can’t get rid of him, he’s always here”
“Max, can you look at me please?”
Max rolls around to look at Caroline knelt down at the side of the bed “Breathe with me, okay? In and out”
They breathe together for a couple minutes
“Better?”
“A little”
“Okay, I’m gonna get you some water. I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Okay”
Caroline comes back with the water and there’s a straw in the cup so Max can still drink it while laying down “Here honey, drink this” Max drinks some water and finally starts to calm down “Can you hold me please?” “Of course” Caroline comes into bed with her and takes hold of her “You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re not broken, this is a completely normal reaction to have when someone goes through something so traumatic, you’re okay, I promise.” Caroline kisses her on the head and Max drifts off to sleep.
She wakes up and Caroline is still holding her “Caroline?” “Yes Max?” “Did it happen again?” “Yeah honey, it did. It’s okay, you’re okay”
“I’m sorry”
“For what?”
“For being like this, it feels so stupid, I feel so stupid”
“Look at me” Max looks at her “You’re not stupid, okay? You’re going through so much right now and it’s completely understandable and normal for you to be reacting like this. You are not stupid, Max, I promise.”
“Thank you”
“Always”
“I remember, ya know?”
“Remember what?”
“That I called you mama more times than I care to admit. But you stayed there with me, you held me and comforted me. Why?”
“I didn’t know what else to do, you were scared and begging me not to leave you so I didn’t, I stayed with you”
“How come you never brought it up?”
“I know you’re not a very vulnerable person and so for you to speak and act that way, I knew there had to be some deep dark things that were the cause of that and I wasn’t going to bring it up until you were ready to bring it up with me.”
“I understand that, thank you. Did it weird you out that I acted that way?”
“Weird me out? No. Worried me? Yes. But as long as we’re together, I know that you won’t hurt yourself because of it, I’m with you every step of the way, no matter what, okay?”
“Promise you won’t leave?”
“I promise”
“Mama?”
“Yes baby?”
“Can we cuddle again please?”
“Of course honey, come here” Caroline lays on her back and Max cuddles into her, Caroline plays with Max’s hair and kisses her on the head
“Thank you for being here”
“Always. I’m not going anywhere” And with that, Max is out like a light safe and sound in her mama’s arms.
Chapter 3: Calm
Chapter Text
Max had gone to an event that she goes to every Friday night and that’s the one place she doesn’t go with Caroline. She came home and saw Caroline on the couch. “Hey!” “Hey! How was the event?”
“It was good, good people, a new person actually came tonight and I think they’ll be a good addition to the event!”
“Oh okay, good!”
“Yeah!”
“And how are you?”
“I’m alright, I wound up having a panic attack halfway through and I had to spend time grounding myself while the event was going on so that was annoying and then I wound up breaking down in someone's arms after the event, that was kind of embarrassing honestly but she held me while I cried and made me feel better, so that’s something.”
“Oh no honey, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, I think I really needed that honestly. The whole time the event was going on, I was on the verge of tears so being able to let that out was good and was helpful. I’m gonna go to another one of the events tomorrow and talk about it on the floor. Hopefully I won’t cry but even if I do, it’s okay, ya know? I think I really just need to let it all out, get out all my feelings towards it. Ya know what they say “shared pain is lessened pain” so I know it’ll help a lot for me to do that.” “Okay good, I’m here if you need anything, okay?”
“I know, thank you.”
“Always”
“I think I’m gonna shower and get some comfy clothes on and lay in bed for a bit”
“That sounds like a good idea”
“Actually, there is something that could help if you’d be okay doing it”
“Of course, what’s up?”
“I’m gonna wash my hair in the shower, could you maybe brush it for me when I’m done?”
“Of course I can, just let me know when you’re ready for me to do it, okay?”
“Okay”
Max goes to take the shower, she finishes and goes to her room to get dressed then grabs her hairbrush and goes to where Caroline is “Ready when you are”
“Do you wanna sit on the floor in front of me or the chair?”
“The floor please”
Caroline sets herself so she's in the middle of the couch cushion with her legs spread so Max can get on the floor in front of her, Max sits on the floor and settles in the comfortable quiet that is in between them and feeling the calmness that washes over her with Caroline brushing her hair, she’s never felt so at peace and so taken of than at this moment.
“Do you want it down and out or do you want a low braid?”
“Low braid please” Caroline braids Max’s hair
“Okay, we’re all done now sweetie”
“Thank you”
“Can we stay like this for a moment? Can you pet my head?”
“Of course honey”
Caroline pets Max’s head and without even realizing it, Max had fallen asleep.
“Honey, wake up, let’s go to bed.”
“You sleep with me mama?”
“Yes sweetie, we’re gonna go lay in bed and I’m gonna hold you and we’re gonna fall asleep together, okay?”
“Mkay mama”
They get in Max’s bed and cuddle together and they wind up falling asleep, safe in each other's arms.