I Know You

by ivananafish

Summary:

“Hey, Vani!” Mizi starts, calling me by the nickname she’s reserved when she’s feeliung particularly giddy. “I have a feeling that today’s going to be awesome, including the performance. Has anything good happened to you today? You seem brighter than usual.”
“Nothing unusual, but I did meet this man,” I comment, looking at myself in the mirror. Mizi and I contrast so much, it’s slightly unbelievable that we’re good friends at first look.
“What was he like? Is he interesting? What’s his name?” She questions in response, smiling at me.
“His name is Till, and he was quiet but very interesting.” I reply, smiling back. “I think I’d like to get to know him more.”

SORRY THE SUMMARY IS SHORT but I feel like the chapters are too short to give a long one...... faints and collapses

Notes:

Im tired
taking a break off of ao3 after "can i drink your saliva? :p" that scarred me never again
I THOUGHT idk man
I js
didn't expect that

Chapter 1: For the First Time

I rub my eyes, tired. Hyuna called Mizi and I in to do another gig at her boyfriend’s bar. I usually don’t mind, but this is the third night in a row doing this. I’m sure Mizi is tired of doing this as well, but she loves Hyuna too much to tell her anything. Whatever, as long as I get paid. I’ll tell Hyuna something after I arrive. I scroll on Instagumi a while longer before I arrive. The bar is titled, “Love & Peace.” Hyuna told me she had coordinated our outfits for tonight, so I just came in a black sweater and sweatpants. Once the taxi arrives at the bar, I thank the driver and tip him. The bar is covered in verdant, neon lights that catch your eye from a mile away. It’s tacky in my opinion, but it’s popular. The line outside is starting already, and the bar opens in thirty six minutes. Once the security guard lets me in, I take in the interior of the bar. Contrasting to the bright lights on the exterior of the bar, the inside is full of warm, dim lights, and a warm vanilla fragrance. The newly hired bartender, Acorn, smiles softly at me before returning to his tasks. The stage where we’ll be performing is in the back, but right in the middle. There are couches in the middle, and tall chairs at the bar. The space is large, and the equipment on the stage is already set up. Mizi approaches me, already in her outfit. It doesn’t fit Mizi’s style, it’s more Hyuna’s. A short white leather skirt and an off-shoulder red fleece top. For accessories she has black boots, black hair pins, and gold star earrings. Mizi’s just gotten a haircut- not a trim, but a cut- like a pixie cut. 

“I like your hair, Mizi,” I compliment her, and she smiles.

“Thank you, Ivan! Hyuna’s waiting for you backstage!” Mizi replies, beaming.

Mizi’s an angel, honestly. She’s kind as well as genuine; one of the best people I’ve ever met. I nod at Mizi and head backstage. Hyuna’s also in her performance outfit, looking as fashionable as always. She’s wearing a red tube top, white jeans, black boots, golden star hoop earrings, and a matching golden wedding ring. Ah, right. This isn’t her boyfriend’s bar- it’s her fiancé’s. She’s been showing off her ring to every one of her colleagues, but Mizi, of course. Hyuna also has her hair up in a rare ponytail, showing off her many piercings on her ear. She has four on each, each having a matching pair. Other than the star hoops, there’s the studded diamond ones, and very tiny hoops, and lastly a pair of just plain circles. 

“Here’s your outfit, Ivan. Do you like it?” Hyuna asks, presenting the clothes she picked out for me.

The outfit she’s showing me is a visibly tight black shirt, a black jacket with red embroidery, black pants, and red boots. She also supplied little silver studs for me to wear, along with a few silver rings.

“Yeah. Thanks, Hyuna.” I tell her, and go to the bathroom to change.

I lock the door, and change my clothes, my outfit the perfect mix of Hyuna and I’s style. Hyuna usually pays for my outfits, but I don’t accept them as gifts, and pay her instead. I’ll do that again. The jacket not only looks expensive, but smells expensive. As I exit the bathroom, Hyun Woo quickly enters it, waving at me briefly. 

Hyun Woo plays the drums and is the one who does the least vocals out of all of the members of our band. Only four people, and Hyuna does the main vocals along with me. Hyuna can do all the instruments we do, but she says she’s busy writing the songs and doing most of the vocals, so that we can do them. I honestly think it’s for our equal share of participation, though I keep that thought to myself. Mizi does the keyboard, and I do the electric guitar. Hyuna’s songs are about love, heartbreak, acceptance, deception. Everything she’s been through, she says. 

I hear Mizi and Hyuna conversing in low tones, and I go over to the mini bar, where Acorn is. As I walked over, I overheard that Acorn would bring over his boyfriend. He was talking to Durian, who had been working here slightly longer than Acorn. She asked Acorn what his name was, and he responded with the name of Marty. The name sounds familiar, and I smile. As Durian continued to ask Acorn questions, he answered her.

 Now, after listening in on their conversation, I know that Acorn’s boyfriend, Marty, would bring a few of his friends, female and male. I glance at the clock, which tells me it’s twenty-three minutes until the bar opens, so thirty-three minutes until our performance starts. Hyuna calls us over to do a vocal and instrumental warm up. While we practice backstage, I overhear voices flooding the bar, so we ensue setting up the stage. I ask Hyuna if I can quickly get water, and she commends. I go over to Acorn, but he is busy conversing with a person who has shoulder length brown hair, presumably Marty, judging by the way Acorn was looking at him. There are two people standing awkwardly out of place next to presumably Marty. There is a black haired woman who has purple eyes, fair skin, and a stoic expression complimented with angelic features. She’s wearing a long black skirt and white turtleneck, with a light gray cardigan. She has long socks, assuming they go past her skirt, that are also light gray, and black mary janes. The man besides her catches my eye more, though. He had gray hair, aquamarine eyes, and a bored expression. He’s beautiful, in a way no form of art could ever capture. He could be described as a new form of art entirely, just judging by his beauty. His outfit, though, is simplistic. A worn black hoodie, nearly gray, and comfortable pants, which were black as well.  It seemed too plaintive for the regal man, but it still gave him glamour. The man catches me staring, and I look away quickly, only to see Acorn no longer talking to presumably Marty. 

“May I get a glass of water, Acorn?” I ask him, and he nods fervently.

“Yes, just give me a second, please.” He responds, and leaves.

“Acorn was practically ecstatic to see you,” I tell Marty, smiling. “I’m Ivan, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Ivan,” Marty tells me, beaming. “You already know me. The people over there are Sua and Till.”

Sua greets me with a small smile, meanwhile Till nods in acknowledgement to me.

“Are you all skaters?” I ask them, peering over to Acorn’s direction, for he’s taking unusually long.

“Yes,” Till replies swiftly. Once I hear Till’s voice, I am immediately more drawn to him than I initially was. It’s naturally melodic, and I could listen to his voice for hours, days, endlessly. 

As if on cue, Acorn turns up with the water. I give him thanks, and turn to them, plastering a smile on my face.

“I hope to see you all tonight,” I tell them all while I look at Till one last time before I return backstage.

I look around for Mizi, and spot her in front of the mirror, fixing her hair pins.

“Hey, Vani!” Mizi starts, calling me by the nickname she’s reserved when she’s feeling particularly giddy. “I have a feeling that today’s going to be awesome, including the performance. Has anything good happened to you today? You seem brighter than usual.”

“Nothing unusual, but I did meet this man,” I comment, looking at myself in the mirror. Mizi and I contrast so much, it’s slightly unbelievable that we’re good friends at first sight.

“What was he like? Is he interesting? What’s his name?” She questions in response, smiling at me.

“His name is Till, and he was quiet but very interesting.” I reply, smiling back. “I think I’d like to get to know him more.”

Luka peers inside the room, and looks at Hyuna.

“Three minutes until you’re scheduled to start.” He tells everyone, but mainly directs it to Hyuna and Hyunwoo. He’s the closest with them out of everyone, and least closest with Mizi. When she first met him, she told me she felt as if she had a grudge against him.

Everyone nods, and Hyuna kisses him lightly before he leaves.

I get my guitar, and strap it across my body while I watch the rest of the members scurry around the room, getting prepared. Once the three minutes pass, I test the mic and look through the crowd, and my eyes land on Till. He looks towards the stage, and that’s my indication to start singing. Weekly, the starter of shows change. This week it’s my turn, and it’s semi-unnerving, but once I start, the words just flow naturally, leaving me comfortable in my position. I look up at the crowd once more, looking for Till, and see him staring. I smile at the crowd like Hyuna has instructed me to do, so we could attract more audience. I initiate a chorus with Hyuna and Mizi while Hyunwoo plays the drums. As we synchronize, I look up to see Till gazing at me, and I smile in return. He seems surprised by my action, and looks away, flushing slightly. As our interaction ends, I go back to singing alone, reflecting. The soft beat of the drums guides me as I sing, the song made by Hyuna for Luka, the lyrics sweet and lovely. I occasionally flash a smile at the crowd, and I catch Till’s eye once more. I wave at him, and he waves slightly in response, seemingly unsure. In vain, I blew him a kiss for a simple reaction from him. He turns red in astonishment, and as the song transitions to Hyuna’s solo, I continue to observe him. He’s still red on the ears, the only indication that he’s still thinking of our interaction. Till is half-heartedly glaring at me and fuming, which is quite adorable. Once he sees me watching him, he panics and goes to chat with Sua, though she’s fixated on the pink haired woman next to me who’s playing the keyboard. Fifty more minutes pass, and the show ends earlier than usual, due to Luka convincing Hyuna to take a break. Hyunwoo goes over to Isaac, Jacob, and Dewey at the bar, while Mizi beelines towards me.

“Did you see her? She was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen! I told you today was going to be good!” Mizi squeals, her face nearly the same shade as her hair. “I’m going to go look for her, Ivan!”

As I bid her good luck, she goes and looks for Sua, most likely. She’s one of the new faces here. I look around for Till, attempting to be discreet. I spot Till, who’s drinking a glass of water. He looks bored once more, but also mesmerized by the interactions surrounding him. He’s standing in a crowded area and looking around, his mouth slightly parted.

“Are you looking for someone?” I ask Till, approaching him. I catch him off guard, and he looks surprised, an expression he wears often.

“Oh, it’s you. Ivan, right? No, I’m not looking for anyone. Sua’s probably with your pianist, and Marty’s probably doing the same with Acorn. I’m not planning on being a third wheel, so I’ll just wait for the bar to close…” Till pauses, and checks his phone. “Which is in four hours. Wow.”

“That’s quite a long time to stay all alone, isn’t it?” I ask Till, my face lighting up.

“Are you insinuating on wanting to be with me? If you’d like, you can accompany me.” Till says, then pauses. “Just don’t pull any weird shit like you did when you were on stage.”

“You didn’t enjoy it? I was led to believe otherwise due to your flushed state.” I remark, pretending to ponder.

“That was out of surprise,” Till defensively retorts, the tips of his ears reddening again.

“Sure,” I coolly tell Till. “Now, may we take this to the sofa? I’m sure that practice has tired you.”

Till smiles, amused by my suggestion, but agrees nonetheless. I lead the way, and Till follows. 

“Your singing was good,” Till compliments, then adds with a laugh. “Almost as good as mine.”

“Really? Then why don’t you go to the stage?” I add on, teasing. “ It’s empty, and I’m sure everyone would love to hear your voice.”

“I’ll pass,” Till tells me slyly. “You don’t deserve to hear my voice or my  beautiful songs yet.”

“Well, I can’t wait to hear once I am worthy to you,” I reply, and he becomes flustered again, to which I laugh.

“I doubt you’ll ever be,” Till tells me in retaliation to my laugh.

“Ouch,” I smile, noting Till’s personality. It’s so delightful. “Sorry, Till, this will sound ignorant, but what is ice skating, really? What do you do?”

Till’s face lights up at that, the mention of his job. That’s humorous to me, I don’t think I have that much energy for even singing. I don’t have much energy at all, but that’s off topic. Once I finish speaking, he goes straight into the subject. What his favorite competitions were, how he felt about it, his favorite choreographies, and more topics that I didn’t understand. It’s true, I didn’t comprehend much of what he was saying, but I did enjoy seeing Till happy. He was so happy and caught up in the topic that it was mesmerizing. It was nearly thirty six minutes after until he realized he was rambling.

“I also-” Till’s eyes meet mine, and he smiles, embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I’ve been talking non-stop, and this conversation has been nearly all about me. What about you, Ivan? What do you like?”

“What do I like? Other than music, I pursue nothing, so I honestly don’t have a clue.” I state, and look around the bar. Everyone was either talking or dancing, listening to the band that was now playing. In contrast to our style of music, which is mainly rock, the band that is currently playing is jazz music. “What about you, Till? Do you have any input on music?”

“I studied music in high school, and that’s about it,” Till tells me blandly, and gets up from the couch, stretching. “Do you wanna get out?”

“Sure,” I say with a smile, and stand up as well. “Let’s go outside. Or do you have a particular place in mind?”

“Not really, though we can go on a walk and decide where to go after that,” Till supplies, and I guide him through the clusters of people.

It’s cold out, once we exit, and Till’s face tints a light pink, which is adorable. We walk through the streets, following the lights. We don’t say much, but I watch Till as his face smiles at every light. Till and I go through a path in the park, and the moon reflects onto the pond and we take a seat on a bench near it. The small stream is calming, and I focus on it. Each time Till exhales, it leaves a small cloud, and he seems ecstatic over something that small. 

“Ivan,” Till starts, then stops.

“Yes, Till?” I ask, turning my gaze over to him, where he is watching me.

“I just feel like I know you from somewhere. I tried to disregard the feeling, but it’s there, and it’s prominent.” Till pauses, looking at the pond, and looks back at me. “Ivan, do I know you?”

“I’m sorry, Till, but I don’t know you. I’ve never met you until today,” I reply, smiling simply. That’s the truth, though I am sorrowful to tell him. “I do wish I met you earlier, but we cannot control time.”

“My apologies, then, Ivan. I know I must sound irrational.” Till looks away, his face now gloomy.

There’s a small silence between us now, and I can feel Till’s watchful eyes on me. I look at the flowers, edelweiss and peonies. They remain by the pond, the red peonies contrasting to the harmony of the white, blue, green, and dark gray hues that the nature of the park all synchronize in. 

“Would you like to walk with me?” I ask Till, and as I turn my head, I see Till also watching the flowers.

“Sure,” Till agrees, and seemingly tears his gaze away from the flowers.

We exit the park, and the warmth of the cafes and restaurants lightens the mood. There are families buying bread in bakeries, friends buying a cake, and a couple going on a date. Once we finish walking around two blocks, Till starts to speak.

“Do you want to go to that bakery?” He asks me, and I shift my gaze to see which one he’s talking about. It’s cute, with a little brown bear wearing a blue and white striped apron on a sign with “Take My Hand.”

“If you want to,” I reply, smiling at him. Till flushes a little, and looks away. Once we enter the bakery, an aroma of bread wafts through the room. “Do you want to buy anything? Or shall we look around first?”

“Let’s look around first,” Till smiles, and heads to the sweet bread section. 

There are various designs, consisting of hearts, bunnies, bears, and cats. To be honest, all the breads have similar designs, it’s just the toppings that vary. Till’s eyeing a simplistic blueberry muffin- one that’s sprinkled with sugar and powdered sugar. 

“Do you want the bread?” I ask Till, going up to him.

“Yes, but I left my wallet with Sua. I told her to protect it… for reasons.” Till states, mournfully.

“Do you want to go take a look at the other breads? I’m sure that’ll ease your mind.” I offer, and motion towards the savory bread section.

“I think I’d get even more hungry then,” Till sighs. “If you’re ready, let’s go.”

“Of course, but I’ll need to use the restroom first,” I flush apologetically, and Till’s eyes widen, and he mutters something intelligible. “What was that?”

“I’ll wait for you outside,” Till says, and waves, leaving the doors.

As I see Till turn around, I quickly get one of the muffins Till was eyeing and a blueberry filled cat pastry. I go to the cashier, and pay quickly. I meet Till outside, waving and smiling slightly. Till turns to look at me and smiles.

“Hi, Ivan.” He grins, and my heart skips a beat.

“I got you something.” I tell Till, showing him the bakery bag, and Till beams at me.

“Thank you so much, Ivan!” He’s holding the muffin in his hands like it’s a grand prize, and takes a bite of it. “Next time, I’ll buy you something to make up for this.”

“Alright,” I reply, and my heart warms at the thought of next time. “Want to walk a while longer? Afterwards, I can call you a cab.”

“Sounds good to me.” Till’s eyes crinkle in joy, and I can’t help but feel more drawn to him with each expression he makes.

☆ ☆ ☆

“That was tiring, but I enjoyed it,” Till comments, smiling endearingly.

“Yeah, me too,” I reciprocate, smiling back, and pulling out my phone. “The Uber is almost here. Once it picks you up, I’ll go back in if you don't mind.”

“I don’t mind. If you don’t mind, Ivan, could I have your number? I’d love to do this again with you,” Till tells me, smiling bashfully.

“Oh, of course. Could you input your number on my phone?” I ask, handing him my phone.

“Yeah, sure!” Till coughs. “Yes.”

I laugh softly at that, his excitement charming. As he takes my phone, I see the Uber pulling up. He hands it back to me, and I change the contact to “Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵).”

“Thank you, Till. I’ll look forward to talking to you soon,” I smile, and he returns the smile. 

Till nods, and waves as he gets into the car. “Have a good night, Ivan.”

“You, too, Till.”

Chapter 2: If You Come into My Mind

Summary:

I rolled in my bed, dazed and bored out of my mind. I was reminiscing of my outing with Till earlier, but that wasn’t enough to satiate my boredom. Just a few minutes earlier I had roused out of my bed due to the nonstop chiming of my alarm. It’s as persistent as usual, and pesters me to leave my bed. Instead, I decided to just lie there and reflect, while thinking mindless thoughts. Nonetheless, it finally had harried me enough for me to leave the warm confines of my bed. I had forgotten to turn off the alarm last night, due to me basking in the joy of spending time with Till. I turn it off and then go to change, I ponder on last night. It was utterly fantastic, of course, but it had already happened. I chose a short sleeved white shirt and gray sweatpants, since I don’t have any plans of going out. I want to see Till again, but how can I? It’s not as if I can just ask to see him again the day after I met him, It’d seem odd. Once I finish changing, I go to my drawer near my bed, where my phone is buzzing. I look through my oldest notifications, some from apps and another from Mizi at five in the morning. It’s four minutes long, and I listen to it.

Notes:

Hello! I am very, very sorry that the chapter took over a month to release! A lot of personal things have been happening in my personal life, such as the ICE Raids happening in the Los Angeles area, where I live. Most of my family doesn’t have documentation, including my father, so this has affected me and my family immensely. Not only that, but my depression has been plummeting just as it does, seemingly annually, in the spring and early summer. Once again, I am very sorry that this chapter has a late release. Thank you for reading.

I rolled in my bed, dazed and bored out of my mind. I was reminiscing of my outing with Till earlier, but that wasn’t enough to satiate my boredom. Just a few minutes earlier I had roused out of my bed due to the nonstop chiming of my alarm. It’s as persistent as usual, and pesters me to leave my bed. Instead, I decided to just lie there and reflect, while thinking mindless thoughts. Nonetheless, it finally had harried me enough for me to leave the warm confines of my bed. I had forgotten to turn off the alarm last night, due to me basking in the joy of spending time with Till. I turn it off and then go to change, I ponder on last night. It was utterly fantastic, of course, but it had already happened. I chose a short sleeved white shirt  and gray sweatpants, since I don’t have any plans of going out. I want to see Till again, but how can I? It’s not as if I can just ask to see him again the day after I met him, It’d seem odd. Once I finish changing, I go to my drawer near my bed, where my phone is buzzing. I look through my oldest notifications, some from apps and another from Mizi at five in the morning. It’s four minutes long, and I listen to it. As much as I love Mizi, what goes in one ear goes out the other. All I picked up was on how she met Sua, the woman I met moments before Mizi did. Sua is the sweetest and gorgeous girl in the universe - according to Mizi. Mizi declared those words with such genuineness it was admirable.

I look at my room, the simplicity and tidiness shocking. When I was younger, nearly everything was random and a mess. I have hardly any time to stay inside all day though, due to my gigs, so I assume that’s what makes up for it. There’s a lamp in one corner, and next to it a bed, where my drawer is. Across from my bed is the closet, and the door to the hall is on the same wall as well. A conveniently placed window is on the other wall. I usually close the curtain when I go to sleep, like last night. It’s currently dim inside of the room, so I open the curtains to reveal morning light. Across the window is a door to my bathroom, and that is where I will be heading next.

I hear Mizi tell me she wishes I had a good day as well and she’d go to sleep then, I hear another chime. I stop Mizi’s voicemail, and look at my notification center. I didn’t think she’d just woken up. Mizi is a very heavy sleeper and sleeps quite a lot. Instead of seeing one of my colleagues contacts, I see “Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)” instead. A smile dawns on my face, and I click on it to see what he had sent me. 

Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Till: Hi, Ivan. Thank you for last night

[Image]

Sent 7:03 am

Read 7:26 am

I’m surprised to see Till up this early similar to I, but it doesn’t strike me as odd. After all, he does have those adorable eyebags. The photo is cute, too. It’s a half-selfie, one of Till eating the pastry I had given him. I quickly reply, hoping to strike a conversation with him.

Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Ivan: Good Morning, Till! It was my pleasure. 

I’m sure the enjoyment was reciprocated

[Reacted “❤️” to the image]

Sent 7:28 am

I go to brush my teeth while I wait for a reply from Till, but once I enter the bathroom, I get a chime from my phone. I presume it’s Till, and I'm pleased when I am correct.

Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Till: Good morning as well, Ivan. I did enjoy it, but I wanted to ask if you’d like to meet up anytime soon? If not, that’s okay. You are right, I did enjoy last night.

Sent 7:30 am

Read 7:30 am

I glance at myself in the mirror. The message I was trying to convey of wanting to meet each other again wasn’t that evident last night, was it? I’ll attempt to message him quickly so he will reply as quickly as I will. Hopefully that doesn’t give him the wrong message. No pun intended.

Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Ivan: Of course, Till. What time would you be available to meet up? After you tell me, I’m sure we could decide where to go together. I’m glad you enjoyed it, as did I.

 

Till: I’m unfortunately unavailable for the next two weeks, but I’m sure Saturday on the 8th of next month would be okay. If that day is not okay with you, please let me know.

 

Ivan: I’m free that day, too. Do you have any idea on where you would like to go?

 

Till: Unfortunately not, I’m sorry. Do you? 

 

Ivan: I have a place in mind, but I’d like it to be a surprise, if that’s okay with you.

 

Till: It’s alright, but I’ll be waiting. Ivan, I have practice now, so I have to go. Bye, talk to you later.

 

Ivan: Have a good practice! I’ll talk to you later, goodbye.

 

I just realized I’d been waiting in anticipation for every message he was typing. Every time I saw the bubbles appear on the screen, my breath was caught. It must be because I just woke up, I reasoned, but the rational part of my brain and heart was telling me something else. I splashed water on my face, although I had already done my skincare routine while texting Till. Mizi has been very strict on my skin, as well as Hyuna. If I have bad skin, I will gain less fans. That’s Hyuna’s reason. Mizi’s is just due to the fact that she cares for me and my skin. I exit the bathroom, entering my room, and I quickly exit again as I go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for myself. The dining area is next to the kitchen, and the door to leave my apartment is somewhat near the dining table, if not in front of it. The task of making breakfast seems so tiresome due to the lack of sleep I have received. Instead of staying in the kitchen, I head to the living room and I collapse on my couch, my eyelids already drooping. 

☆ ☆ ☆

Mizi is staring at me wide eyed, sipping her smoothie. “Are you sure? Like one hundred percent sure?”

“Yes, Mizi, I am.” I tell her, nodding. “Are you sure about Sua?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not the same thing!” Mizi fumes, flushing. “I feel like I’ve known her my entire life! We know practically everything about each other and have been meeting up with each other for weeks! You’ve just been consecutively talking to him-“

“Mizi, is he not friends with Sua?” I ask, drinking my coffee. “if you’re worried, just ask Sua about him and I’m sure she’ll give you answers.”

“Okay,” Mizi responds. “I just care for your well-being. I don’t want you to get hurt like last time.” Mizi looks up, sort of pouting. “Just tell me if he does anything to you.”

“I will, Mizi. Don’t worry.” I comfort her, reaching for her hand, before I notice a ring on her finger. I raise my eyebrow, and Mizi flushes again,

“Sua bought me a gift.” Mizi blushes, smiling.

“You two are still friends? Or are you hiding something from me?” I ask with a chuckle, but Mizi flushes even more, her face the same shade as her hair.

“I don’t know. I want to ask her on a date in a few days though. Wish me luck?” Mizi smiles, but I can see the nervousness crafted on her usually happy face.

“You don’t need luck, Mizi.” I smile, and get up from the table. “Wanna go watch a movie now?”

☆ ☆ ☆

Once Mizi and I arrive at the movies, I ask her which one she wants to watch. Mizi’s always been obsessed with acting, and watching movies or plays always brightens her mood. I’m sure this would brighten her mood, and take her mind off of her love life. Mizi looks interested in all the options, and examines the reviews and what the movies are about thoroughly before settling on a futuristic love story. Mizi often prefers to sit in the middle, so she doesn’t have to strain her neck, and she can also see the details and examine and analyze what is happening in the scenes. While I order the tickets for the both of us, I leave Mizi to her own devices as she picks out our snacks. She chose a pretzel for herself, some Sour Patch Kids, and a mixed ICEE for the two of us. The movie theater we attend offers colored straws, so Mizi condemned me to choose my own. Mizi happily picks the purple straw while I select the aquamarine one. Mizi and I walk through the silent halls of the theater, our footsteps echoing. It allows us to hear the commotion of the kids' movies, and the indistinct murmuring of the movies focused on horror. Once we enter the movie where “Love in Dreams” is being aired, we find our seats, muttering polite thanks to those who shuffle in order for us to walk past them. We finally reach our seats, and as soon as we do, the light dims.

“Mizi?” I hear a foreign yet familiar voice ask as my eyes adjust to the newfound darkness.

“Oh, Sua! Hi!” I hear Mizi cheerfully greet, and I can hear her practically  immediately lighting up.

I go to look over to see Sua, and see not only her, but Till. 

“Till, hello.” I welcome, surprised but jubilant nonetheless.

Till nods in acknowledgement but remains impassive. He looks hardened, in a way, when he turns his gaze to Mizi. Not warm and joyful like he was when we spent the night talking and shopping. He still remains captivating, though, and takes nearly all of my attention,

“Do you want to sit with Ivan and I?” Mizi asks chalantly, nothing but sheer adoration in her eyes when she gazes at Sua, and with that you can see Sua visibly melt.

“Of course, Mizi.” Sua responds, smiling and blushing, just the same as Mizi is. Sua nudges Till, who looks at her, unimpressed. Sua goes to take a seat next to Mizi, and Till goes to sit next to me.

“Hey,” Till starts, and it must be due to the faint lighting, but I could’ve sworn that blush tinted his ears.

“Hello,” I returned, smiling. “Do you have any snacks? I only bought an ICEE to share with Mizi, but I haven’t eaten anything solid since a few hours ago.”

“Yeah, sure, I have some candy if you’d like,” Till offers with a smile, but his expression had darkened slightly when I mentioned Mizi’s name. 

As I accept his offering, our fingers brush and as blood rushes to my face, Till retracts his hand away quickly, and looks away from me, but not before his gaze had lingered on mine.

“Thank you,” I murmured, and placed candy into my mouth, the taste sour and sweet.

“Ivan,” Till starts carefully, the way he said my name full of emotion but his face remaining stoic. “Is Mizi leading Sua on?”

“No,” I reply simply. “I’m glad to know Sua reciprocates Mizi’s feelings, though.”

“I am, too.” Till states, and turns back to look at me, seemingly studying me. “Ivan.”

“Yes, Till?” I ask, hopeful, but careful to underplay my emotions. 

“Nothing, I’m sorry. I forgot what I was going to say.” Till replies, turning himself away from me completely, blocking me out.

The lights then turn off completely, except for the minimal ones illuminating the exit pathways. The movie is simple as well as delightful, and it captured my heart. It’s about these two young lovers who love each other, they just don’t know it. They push each other away due to the fact they think that if they push each other away, they’ll just fall in love deeper. So, in disappointment and feeling nothing but unrequited love, the second main loves someone else while the main character still loves the second main character. Eventually, the partner of the second main character cheats on them, and the second main character reunites with the main character. However, before they can confess their love to one another, the main character dies. So the second main character lives thinking that the main character never loved them, when in reality the main character did all this time. It’s sorrowful, and I have to admit I weeped. I look over at Till, and he looks stunned, and almost… scared? As if he had seen a ghost. 

“Till? Are you okay?” I ask, my face covered with concern. 

“Yeah, I’m fine Ivan. I just feel a little light headed.” Till supplies, his eyes evoking a foreign memory. One of Till, seemingly younger and in completely white clothing. The rest of the memory is blurred, and I cannot make out the details of it.

“Alright. Would you like to stay seated for a while longer before we take leave?” I offer, holding out my arm for him to hold on to.

“Yeah, thanks. This must be a bother for you,” Till pauses, looking up at me. “I’m sorry, Ivan.”

☆ ☆ ☆

It’s been two weeks since I met Till, but only eight days since I last saw him. Today’s the eighth, the day Till had informed me that he was available. I glance around, looking at the crepe place, where I had chosen for us to eat at. It’s simple and modern, with lights illuminating the place, giving it a cozy feeling. The walls are striped pink and white, the chairs and tables in the small restaurant a warm brown, while the tablecloth is matching the wallpaper. The table I am sitting in currently is a table for two while I browse the menu. The window brings in natural light which essentially brightens the place. The register in the back is playing cheerful music on the small radio, two girls happily talking to each other as they wait for new customers. The main colors of the cafe itself are pink, white, and yellow. I adjust myself in the seat comfortably, browsing my phone as I wait for Till. I had sent Till the location a few minutes before I had arrived, so he should be here soon. I glance at the menu again. It’s mainly crepes, for this is a crepe based restaurant, but the drinks they offer are assortments of sweets, so I am not sure if Till will enjoy them or not. It has less sweet things, like pancakes and waffles, but they are still relatively sugary. I’m sure if we ask, there could be other options. 

“Hey, Ivan,” I hear Till’s familiar voice call for me. His voice sounded different from when he called me, and the last time we saw each other. More soft and genuine. 

I look up to greet Till, and I am instead greeted with the emotions of awe and overpowering fondness.  Till looks more beautiful than I remembered him when I saw him last. He’s wearing a simple white tee-shirt with an aquamarine cardigan, which brings out the color in his eyes. He’s also wearing black baggy jeans with white casual shoes. It’s put together, and he looks alluring in it. 

“Hi, Till,” I responded, my voice wavering. 

“Ivan,” Till replies simply, smiling. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Till, thank you.” I reply, grinning. We had been talking consecutively for the past few weeks, but here he was acting formally. It’s adorable. “Have a seat.”

Till nods and sits down, pink tainting his face. “Sorry if I kept you waiting, Ivan.”

“It’s alright, it was only for a few minutes. I also had a chance to take a look at the menu. Once you have a chance as well, we can order.” I state, smiling at Till. I can’t help it, being around him fills me with glee.

I pass the menu to Till and observe him. Till’s movements seem to be carefully calculated, but his emotions aren’t controlled as much. You can still see what he’s feeling just based on how his face is worn. Till’s face is now painted as being focused on the menu, as if he’s transfixed by the options being provided. It’s doteful, just like everything else he does.

“I can feel you watching me, you know,” Till remarks, looking up from the menu, his stare hard. He says this while looking nonchalant, yet his face speaks otherwise. On Till’s face is a faint, tainted pink dusting his features.

“I don’t mind if you acknowledge my staring. Do you mind me staring?” I ask, concerned. It’s fine if Till is aware of me staring, but if he’s uncomfortable with it I’d have to stop.

“It’s fine,” Till brushes me off and my words, but he flushes even more, his face now a solid pink.

“If you ask me, Till, on the contrary, you enjoy it,” I tell Till, a light teasing tone in my voice. I rest my face on my hands and my elbows on the table.

“It’s not that I enjoy it,” Till states pointedly, now studying the menu intensely as blush creeps down his neck. “It’s just that you’re so… enamored by me that it throws me off.”

“Well, I’m glad you don’t mind it. That does mean I can continue to look, correct?” I grin as Till averts my gaze, but nods slightly either way. “Well, do you know what you want to order now?”

Till looks back at me, meeting my eyes. “Yeah. I’ll take a coffee and the banana cream pancakes.” Till informs me, blatantly attempting to keep his composure. Instead of containing hsi expressions, he worsens the blush, making him flush a deeper pink than before.

I motion my hand to the waitress, letting her know we’re ready to order. I look at Till once more, and smile at him. The waitress comes to the table, and beams a smile at the two of us.

“Hello! Are you two ready to order now?” The woman cheerfully asks. She looks an awful lot like Sua, with the dark straight hair, eyes, and skin. It’s just that their eyes are different colors, and the fact the waitress has heterochromatic eyes. My eyes drift to her outfit, where the name tag should be, but I find none.

“Yes, thank you. I’ll be having banana chocolate crepes, and he’ll be having a coffee with the banana cream pancakes.” I supply the waitress, and she jots down the order in her notebook.

“Are you interested in some beverages while you wait for your food?” The waitress asks me, smiling.

“I’ll just have some water, please.” I reply, turning my attention back to Till once the waitress leaves to the kitchen, probably to reiterate the order back to the cook. 

“How’s ice skating, Till?” I ask, admiring Till’s messy bedhead. Till’s hair is always unkempt, but it’s adorable that way.

“It’s fine,” Till says, haste. “It’s exhausting but it’s worth it. I love ice skating, and I’m glad to improve at it.”

“You make it seem like I am a reporter, Till. I thought I meant more than a reporter to you.” I add, feigning hurt. “I thought we were closer than that.”

“We are, but what do you want me to tell you?” Till relays, playing with the sugar and salt packets provided on the table.

“I don’t know. If you have a passion for ice skating, you’d have a better, more emotional response to my question. Convey to me how you feel when you skate.” I reply, taking one of the salt packets from Till.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s embarrassing when I talk about my passions.” Till replies, presumably irritated by my incessant pestering.

“Just tell me, how do you feel? Does it bring you joy? Why do you skate? Why did you start?” I continue to ask.

“Well, I feel happy and liberated when I skate, so it brings me joy. I skate because I’m good at it, and I enjoy skating. And if you enjoy doing something and you’re good at it, you should pursue it. My mom’s words. I started because I became interested in it when I was seven when I saw a movie about it, and was inspired. Like a cliché.” Till raptly informs me.

I take in every word he tells me, and attempt to memorize them like I do with everything else he tells him. “Till,” I start, careful. I repeat myself. “Till, do you have any competitions? In ice skating, I mean.”

“Why?” Till asks me, his eyebrow raising.

“So I can attend them, of course.” I tell him, smiling again. “That is, if I can.”

“You can,” Till blushes again, indicating he does indeed want me to accompany him to the game.

“Are there tickets I have to buy?” I ask, the waitress bringing me my water with a clear straw. I smile and tell her thanks, but quickly turn my attention back to Till.

“No, but if you want good seats you should come early.” Till advises, watching me as I drink water.

“Alright, Till.” I thank him, feeling blood rush to my face. “Thank you, Till, by the way. I’m glad we’re friends.”

“You’re welcome, Ivan. I’m glad you’re my friend, too.” Till states, grateful. The waiter now brings the food to us, the warm aroma filling out noses and makes our mouths salivate. We thank the unnamed waitress, and quickly start to eat our food.

“Ivan, why do you like to sing?” Till asks, causing me to look up from my plate. “Well, you asked me why I enjoy ice skating, so it’s only fair if you tell me the answer to the same questions from me. What were they again? How does singing make you feel, why do you sing, and why did you start?”

I smile at Till. “Of course I can answer them, Till. It depends on what I’m singing. If I am singing a sad song, I will feel saddened, and I sing because I relatively enjoy singing, and it brings joy to others when I sing. I sing so others can feel happy. Now the last question. I will answer that eventually.”

“Ivan,” Till groans. “That’s unfair, and you know it.”
“Well, what if it’s a personal reason, Till? Did you think of that?” I smile at Till, and he pouts.

“You know it’s not! C’mon Ivan, just tell me.” Till asks, stuffing his mouth with more pancakes.

“Maybe later. Anyways, what day is your performance? Or competition.” I ask, swiftly changing the subject. “I’ll see if I can excuse my work with Hyuna that day.”

“It’s on the twenty-seventh.” Till notifies me, still sulking from my apathetic reply to the question.

“Alright, thank you! Can you message me the details after?” I ask Till, beaming.

“Yes, sure,” Till replies, grinning now. A piece of whipped cream is on the corner of his mouth, and Till must take notice of me staring because he reaches for a napkin. He attempts to wipe the whipped cream, but fails effectively. I attempt to cease my laughter, and Till notices this.

“You could at least guide me to where the whipped cream is,” Till glares at me, and I smile helplessly at him. Instead of guiding me, like he had told me to do, instead I released the napkin from his grasp and wiped the whipped cream off his face, now flushed red.

“I’m sure you would’ve gotten more lost with my instructions,” I innocently tell Till, my smile widening. “I didn’t know you ate so messily, Till.”

Till, in retaliation, flicks his finger on my forehead, which I’m sure leaves a mark due to the triumphant look on his blushing face. “You know I could’ve done it myself.” Till pauses. “Thanks nonetheless, Ivan.”

“You’re welcome, Till.” I respond to Till, guiding the crepe into my mouth, watching him. “Are you going to eat? I was under the impression you enjoyed your food.”

“Just shut up,” Till tells me, glaring, but there is no real heat in his eyes. I stifle a laugh, and Till flushes more. “You eat your food.”

As the breakfast passes, I extract more reactions from Till, fulfilling my happiness and expanding it. I learn more about Till, and he learns more about me. We eventually have to leave each other again, for Till and I have other plans reserved for the rest of the day.

“Bye Ivan. I’ll see you again soon.” Till smiles at me, getting into his car as I linger by his side, craving to be with him again.

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon,” I agree, hoping to stay true to my word, as I watch him close the door of his car. “Goodbye, Till.”

☆ ☆ ☆

I run my hands through my hair, my stomach tangled up. I look around the bar, feeling faint covetousness towards the couples that linger around the bar. I want to be like the couples, happy and talking with their loved ones, showing one another love. I’m sitting at the bar, drinking water, since I’ll be driving myself home. Last time I had driven myself home after having alcohol, Mizi gave me an earful. A caring one, but still a fussy lecture. The couples around me are all very romantic, but the ones who draw my eye the most are Hyuna and Luka and Mizi and Sua. It’s young love, and one that makes you feel like it will last forever. Knowing Mizi and Luka, their love for their loved ones probably will. Hyuna, too. She’s very loyal, and always voices her love for Luka in her songs. As for Sua, I still do not know her very well though she is my best friend’s girlfriend and Till’s best friend. 

Hyuna and Luka are talking by the stage, the love in their eyes and the hand holding evidence of their love for one another. I can practically feel the surging love for them. I’m happy for them, but I wish I was in a relationship like that, too. Soon, I will be in one. Hopefully. Mizi and Sua, on the other hand, are closer to me and are hugging each other, rocking one another to the beat of the song. It’s no love song, but they could convince onlookers that it is one. The room’s pulsating with love from each couple, even Marty and Acorn, who are on the other side of the bar, simply chatting.

I could be described as distinctly miserable, but I don’t like thinking of myself that way. Miserable, negative, sad. I was once told I had a sad life, and I don’t like to confront that fact. To cheer me up, I think of my most treasured moments in my life. Meeting all of my friends, such as Hyuna, Hyun Woo, Isaac, Dewey, Jacob, Luka, and everyone who has played an important role in my life. Till and Mizi, I think, have impacted me the most. I replay my meeting of Till, and think of how I met Mizi.

It was lunch, in sixth grade. Mizi was the most popular girl in the grade, for always being cheerful and helping people when they needed it. I was also popular, but for other reasons. I’d fight people, just to evoke a reaction from them. I needed to see emotion on someone’s face, it made me happy at the time. To see people suffer because of me. All the fighting had made me crave it, essentially.

Mizi approached me one day, holding a pink lunch box in hand and with the other a flower, a  blue one. I later figured out the name was ‘Stand by Me.’ 

“Be my friend!” Mizi had exclaimed proudly, handing me the flower, beaming with joy.

I had looked at her in surprise and stared blankly, which she physically had shown discouraged her. However, when I had accepted the flower,  the smile that had decorated her face quickly reappeared.

“Okay,” I said, shuffling a little from my lunch bench so she could sit with me. I asked her for her name though I had already known it.

“My name’s Mizi, Ivan!” She contentedly informed me, taking a seat next to me. “What do you have for lunch?”

I looked down at my empty hands, and I didn’t bother to check my backpack. “I don’t bring lunch.”

Mizi frowned, her brows furrowing. She was clearly concerned, but decided against asking further. “Well, I could just share with you! I have a peanut butter and jam sandwich! Wait, are you allergic?”

“No.” I told her, and she smiled broadly. She handed me half of her sandwich and gave me some of her fruit, too.

“There! This should fill you up!” Mizi delightedly told me. Her personality was so bright it was blinding, but in a good way. Like when you look at the sun for too long.

“Thank you,” I said, thinking Mizi would appear for a mere one day, this being the one. In a wya where she would say, ‘I helped the aggressive kid at school today, Mommy! Aren’t I such a nice girl?’ But she kept appearing. And reappearing. And after that, all the way until the last day of high school, we sat together and ate lunch together.

Now here we are, Mizi at twenty one and me at twenty two. Mizi dating the love of her life, Sua, while I am left fatally pining over a man I merely met a few weeks ago and barely know anything of. I feel like I can’t help it, though. Till felt magnetic, he had attracted my attention since I met him, since I landed my eyes on him. It was as if he was the reason why I was here on Earth, my very reason for being alive. That’s how it felt when we had eye contact for the first time. Now that I message him daily, my heart pitifully beats everytime I think of him, for I am too latched on to him. My mind is full of images of him, my thoughts full of his voice, his laugh. It’s not that he couldn’t feel anything similar to me, it’s just that I refuse he could feel anything like this for me. We had just met, and he doesn’t really know me. It’s just a one-sided love at first sight situation. I hadn’t thought that love at first sight was real until I had met him. Being with him makes me feel immense joy, and it feels downright despairful when we depart from each other.

Whilst I mellow in my yearning, I feel my phone buzz. I take the phone out of my pocket, at see who the notification’s from. Till.

Till (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)

Till: 8970 Anakt Ice Rink, ****, ** 90683

I’ll see you there 💙

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed!
Kudos and Comments are appreciated!
I'm unsure if there will be angst next chapter. Probably not, and maybe the following chapter. I'll include an extra on the next chapter to make up for the lack of words these chapters are, and for the lack of uploading. Once again, thank you for understanding and reading!
Till asks Ivan if Mizi is leading Sua on because he’s worried if Ivan likes Mizi, or if they were on a date. Mainly the former, because it was clear Ivan had some attraction to Till, at least. Ivan isn’t that nonchalant.
“Till replies, turning himself away from me completely, blocking me out.” is subtle foreshadowing btw

Notes:

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!! chapters will be more delayed than usual because I've had back to back exams for the past two weeks and I have more incoming so... ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
However!!! I hope you enjoyed this fic!!! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
Based off of @rabbit.escape on TikTok!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
I'll probably gift this work to people once they allow gifts ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ