Chapter Text
You know after reading my fair share of self insert fanfics and isekai novels. You would think that I would have accepted that is all to be make-believe. Real screwed in the head type shit. Stuff that stays in the pages.
But here I sit.
In a tiny cave that could be mistaken for a rabbit burrow. Actually, no I think this did house some rabbits.
As a tiny fucking slime. Smaller than a fucking quarter.
Some context is needed I know, just wait I'm getting to it.
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User:
Who are you talking to?
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Shuddup! You are going to throw my entire groove right into the dirt!
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User:
You are already in the dirt
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I hate you. I hate you so much.
Anyway! Before I get so rudely interrupted again. Let me tell you all about how I became the Prince of Bel Air.
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User:
That would be Will Smith not you
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I know that system! It's a joke! It's supposed to be funny!
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User:
I fail to find the humor
Instead I recommend you find a doctor soon
You are clearly delusional
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I SWEAR ON GOD'S CORPSE I WILL END YOU SYSTEM!
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User:
That is unwise
If this System is removed or destroyed
The User will also be destroyed
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Wait what? You are a ticking time bomb?
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User:
That would be an entirely inaccurate comparison
I am a System given to you by
[Administrator Omega]
My purpose is to assist you in the
world of your choosing
You have chosen
【Universe 6318ø.D3】
(Highschool DxD)
Would you like to review my capabilities?
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Well there goes my groove. Thanks system.
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User:
I am always pleased to assist
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Why can't you be the Great Sage from Slime Tensei? Stop! Don't answer that question. I see you already trying.
Sigh… Anyway! Like the plot spoiler said. I died. No death isn't all gumdrops and rainbows. It's not even a massive hallway of doors. Just a conveyor belt in a factory moving trillions of souls a second. So how did I get chosen to reincarnate? Why am I so glad you asked! I was just the most wholesome and prettiest soul in the universe.
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User:
That is incorrect
Your soul was ejected from the conveyor and the resulting damage your soul received made it impossible for you to reincarnate normally
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Man you really just take the fun out of everything don't you? Well fine if I am forced to tell the truth at the pain of you ruining any sense of fun. I might as well tell the truth. Fucking fun nazi.
The system is correct. My soul for some reason or another was thrown off the conveyor belt. Rather forcefully might I add. Nobody knows who or what caused it. But the damage had been done. My consciousness had been awakened in the factory. Mainly guaranteeing I would retain most of my memories into my next life.
Then the actual damage done to my soul guaranteed I couldn't be reincarnated normally, and I would have to live another full life outside of the system to heal. So I was placed in a chair in front of Administrator Omega.
[Great. This is what? The 10th soul this quarter millennium? *Haaaaaa* Upper management is going to have my head on a stick.]
I'm sorry? Why can't I move my mouth?
[Don't try to speak. First, you are physically incapable of doing so. Second, all you will succeed in doing is even more damage to yourself if you try to force it.]
So how am I supposed to talk?
[You just did. Think and I will be able to understand.]
That's kinda cool actually.
[No. It's more tiring than anything really.]
So what am I doing here?
[*cough* Right, let's take this from the top. Ahem. Congratulations. You have somehow broken out of the cycle of reincarnation. This does not take anything into account from your previous life. The most holy of saints and the most devious of sinners all have the same chance of sitting in front of me. You won a lottery that you didn't buy into.]
Um I get this is supposed to be repeated, but isn't there supposed to be some kind of? I don't know? Tonal inflection? Emotion?
[I've said this spiel hundreds of billions of times. I lost the emotion for this after around I think 100,000 times.]
Oh. I didn't realize it was that bad. I'm sorry.
[Eh, I will be fine. You might think that is a lot, but I have held this position since the beginning of your current recorded time. Every Big Bang there is an office restructuring. I've just been unlucky that this one has taken longer than normal to finish its cycle.]
Oh so not even angels get to escape the corporate grind?
[We are not technically angels, but you are correct. The grind is eternal.]
Well that paints a cheerful image. Is there anything I can do to help? Even if it would be insignificant?
[Hahahaha! You just keep putting yourself into a smaller and smaller subgroup of souls. Haha. Haaa that's not a bad thing mind you. Just being able to complain to somebody who understands is good enough for me.]
Oh. Well I'm glad to help in that case.
[Heh. Back to the shtick, now where was I? Right. Since you have been placed in front of me you will now be forced to be reincarnated outside the normal system. While that sounds like a bad deal I can assure you of the opposite. You will be able to choose where you can spend your next life! Ever read a story that you wanted to live out? Ever want to just walk across the plains of Oblivion forever? Now you can. Your wildest dreams are now obtainable.]
Wow that sounds incredible.
[Depends on who you ask. There is a gacha system involved. Some get incredibly lucky, others not so much. There are few caveats to be noted.
1. No two souls can, or will, ever meet.
Basically, if you somehow choose the same place your predecessor did? They are in a separate instance of that universe.
2. If you choose a world based on a story. The cannon will be changed.
To dumb that down. You being present will change the course of events. Period. No take backs. If you have some kind of knowledge of the story you cannot hope to keep the story on the “canon” track.
3. If you choose a world based on a story. There will be certain plot points that NEED to be met otherwise the world will collapse in on itself.
So if you know of a plot point of a damsel in distress and needs saving? That plot point will happen; but it could be out of order from original canon, you could be the one the damsel needs saving from, etc. etc. Now this doesn't mean if you are in the “evil” category and beat the hero, you will break the world. Or if you really wanted you can just live like a hermit far away from the events of the story. So don't worry about that and live how you want.
4. Your base stats and abilities will be randomized.
You could pop in as a God or goblin. Try to make things work out.]
That's a lot to take in.
[I know. There is one last thing.
5. All activities will be recorded for Administrator review.
This is also a break of the monotony for me as well. So I might peek in to check how you're doing from time to time. Besides that, I will get a warning if the world becomes unstable. If that happens I will have to pull you out of it. If I do, and depending on how far you've healed. You could either be forced back into the normal cycle of reincarnation or just destroyed. You do not get a second chance.]
Seems a little intense to me. Do I have to worry about you watching every second?
[If you wanted too, I guess you could. It wouldn't be very productive or be a good waste of your time though. Despite my existence, I do have a modicum of class. If I tune in and you are doing something “intimate” I will just stop watching. Frankly, I find it boring to watch. I've seen everything that is literally possible for your kind to do. So I won't be judging your actions.]
Well that's a relief I guess. Anything else I should know?
[No. The only thing you need left is to decide where you would like to go.]
Okay. Can you give me a moment please? I'm getting the feeling of decision paralysis.
[Of course.]
Well crap. I have too many options. Which do I feel the strongest pull to? Ummm. I guess the stories I know the most about would be, Slime Tensei, RE: Monster, Borderlands, and DxD. Out of those I would say DxD. Nothing really beats that loving redhead.
Okay! I have my choice.
[What is it?]
Highschool DxD.
[A classic choice. Stupid power scaling. More beautiful women than you can shake a stick at. Just remember certain events need to happen. You will not be any of the main cast. Finally any action you make will have consequences. Do you understand?]
I think I do.
[Very well.
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【Initialize Universe: 6318ø.D3】
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Since you didn't immediately barrage me with the demands of “cheat skills” when we started talking. I will be bending the guidelines a tad. In addition to whatever you roll, a system will be added. Normally it is something you would have to roll to receive it. Just think of it as a bonus for not being a narcissistic asshole. Besides that, enjoy your new life.]
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Universe 6318ø.D3
Initializing…
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Complete
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Soul Binding:
In Progress
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Lifeform Gacha:
Rolling…
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Complete
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Adding results to Soul Binding
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Complete
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Soul Binding
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Complete
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Additional System Installation
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Complete
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User:
Waking up…
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There you go. My new life story. I'll skip the part where I had a mild existential crisis. No point in embarrassing myself that much. Well no time like the present. System, can you show me my results?
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User:
【Loading Character Stat Screen】
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Name: N/A
Race: Parasitic Chaos Slime (Infant)
Level: 1
EXP: 0/10
HP: 15/15
MP: 10/10
STR: 1
END: 1
INT: 1
WIS: 1
DEX: 1
CHA: 1
SPD: 1
LUK: 1
【Abilities】【Traits】【Inventory】
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I'm a fucking what now? What in the ever loving name of shit is that?
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【Parasitic Chaos Slime】
A mutation of the Parasitic Slime species. This mutation grants the slime access to the Chaos Element. This species’ position is a late stage of the slime evolution tree. Due to this there will be very minimal chances for race changes or upgrades.
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Well that didn't answer much. Okay what is a Parasitic Slime and this so-called Chaos Element?
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【Parasitic Slime】
An effective capstone on the evolutionary tree of the slime species. This slime is able to split and become a parasite that can grow off of multiple hosts at once.
This slime can siphon off stats from the host/s or drain them dry and add 1/10 of the drained stats to itself. If it siphons stats it is added at a 1-to-1 ratio.
Although this species is called a “parasite”, that isn't a completely correct characterization. It also has the ability to increase the host/s growth speed and stat gain. But this trait is rarely shown in nature. This is thought to be an urban legend: If you find and raise a Parasitic Slime properly. It will help you grow instead of trying to eat you.
This is generally considered an incredibly dangerous species that needs to be destroyed on sight.
During its infant stage is when it is the most vulnerable. This is because it has absorbed little to no stats from a host/s.
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AAAAAH! THAT'S REALLY BAD! FUCKING GOD DAMNIT! IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY DEAD I'D KILL YOU! *wheeze in/out*
Okay! Okay! I'm fine. At least I don't have a tail. Well I guess I am already missing pants. Fuck now I understand Daxter freaking out after his bath in dark eco! Shit!
Please for the love of anything. Tell me the other thing so I can occupy myself and not scream anymore.
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【Element: Chaos】
The Chaos Element is apprised of most known basic elemental types.
【Water, Fire, Wind, Earth】 etc.
As well as their subsidiaries.
【Ice, Lava, Lightning, Metal】etc.
Users of the Chaos Element will find it easier to obtain, learn, and use other elements as well as have higher resistances to them.
This does not mean a user of Chaos will be better compared to specialized practitioners of other fields. The Chaos Element is a Jack-of-all-Traits element. In a one to one single element battle, a Chaos wielder will be at a natural disadvantage to specialized element users.
The only elements that are not included in Chaos are 【Time】 and 【Space】. Because of its appearance in DxD, Chaos does not include any Devil Bloodline Magics.
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Huh that's super interesting. So I should be able to learn magic stupid easy. Yay. Small victories I guess. Hmm that makes me wonder what else I have. System show Abilities.
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User:
【Abilities】
Divide lv1 0/100
Parasite Bonding lv1 0/100
Drain lv1 0/100
System lvMAX
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I was expecting a bit more than that if I am going to be completely honest. So is this all I will have? Will I be able to increase these?
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User:
Negative
Affirmative
User can receive more Abilities and Traits the following ways:
Leveling up
Increasing proficiency with Abilities or Skills
Draining host/s
Unique actions
Gacha
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Wait, I have a gacha system as well? I thought that was a one time thing. How does it work?
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User:
Gacha system unlocks after level 5
Gacha system uses tickets
Tickets are earned the following ways:
Every level grants 5 Bronze Random Tickets
Completing challenge
Achievements
Overcoming impossibly stronger foes
Overcoming limits of User's body or abilities
Some interactions may grant tickets
Obtaining Unique / Legendary or Higher quality Weapons, Armor, Abilities, Skills, or Traits
*Note*
Any of the above gained via the Gacha will not reward tickets
Adjusting the fate of canon characters
*WARNING*
THIS MAY RESULT IN UNIVERSE DESTABILIZATION! PLEASE TAKE CAUTION USING THIS METHOD!
User may merge tickets into higher rarities
2 Random -> 1 Specific Category
3 Specific Category -> 1 Random with Advantage
3 Random with Advantage -> 1 Specific Category with Advantage
2 Specific Category with Advantage ->
1 Random of the next Rarity
Simplified 36 Random Tickets -> 1 Next Rarity Random Ticket
Tickets Categories:
Random
Ability
Item
Trait
Skill
Familiar
Ticket Rarities:
Bronze
Silver
Gold
Platinum
Diamond
Legendary
Mythical
Divine
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User:
User may receive ticket rewards before Gacha system is unlocked
Ticket merging is locked until
Gacha system is unlocked
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Awawawawa! That is way too much information at once! There better be a damn note tab later on!
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User:
There is a Note section
User is unable to write notes themselves
Notes are gained when reviewing System features
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Man… I guess I will just have to remember the plot myself. Or maybe write in an actual journal. Uh. Hmm. Moving is something to worry about after the Itutorials. System show Traits please.
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User:
【Traits】
Dissolving
Recombination
Enhanced Physical Resistance
Improved Regeneration
Crippling Weakness to Magical Damage
Multiple Personalities
Parallel Thinking
Hive Mind
Slime Storage
Chaos Affinity
System
*Note*
Prefixes: Worst to Best
Antithesis - Crippling - Weakness - Normal / No Prefix -
Improved - Enchanted - Perfect
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Am I busted? Judge?! Please don't nerf me! I didn't choose these! Ugh now my head hurts. This is WAY TOO MUCH INFO SYSTEM! I need to stop looking at this red box. Wait, how can I see? NO STOP SYSTEM! Let me figure it out myself. No more red for a little bit please. I'm begging.
Okay. Let's start learning about my body! Perfect 360⁰ vision, smelling, hearing, and touch. I must be following the Slime Tensei logic of slimes. I can stretch out my body to move. I can also create tentacles and use them either as hands or to move as well. I can think and use my abilities like I was breathing. Good to see that I won't have to worry about combat delay.
I guess there's no better time to leave my burrow (home) and explore my brand new world! *SNIFF* AHHHHH fresh air. So where am I? Eugh a red sky. Why is it everything all red?! I must be in the Underworld. Besides that it seems like I am in a forest made up of seemingly dead trees? Hard to tell as none have leaves currently.
Wait a fucking moment… Red Sky… Underworld… Forest… Oh please God… I know you're dead but please! Don't tell me I'm in the…
“Aaaaaah! What is that? It's so cute!” I hear a faraway voice rapidly approaching.
“My Lady, be careful.” A second voice calls out.
I focus my attention on the approaching voice. No. Nope. Negatory. Nah ah. Not happening. No fucking way. There has to be something else coming. I refuse to see het mop of red hair. As I am desperately denying the obvious incoming reality. I get picked up.
“Grayfia Onee-san! Look! I found a tiny cute slime!” The child who picked me up and proudly showed me off to the maid that followed her.
“You should be careful. Slimes can be very dangerous Rias Ojou-Sama.”
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!