Chapter Text
"Flooding your brain with memories from the afterlife is dangerous," Michael warned Eleanor inside that deserted library in Arizona. "In one of the reboots, you and Chidi were in love. Can't you just take my word for it?"
"No, dude. I can't," Eleanor almost interrupted, barely letting the reformed demon get his sentence out before stating her insecurities. "My screwed-up relationship with my parents made me believe I could never really love anyone. I need to see it for myself."
Now, Michael didn't have a heart, but if he did, Eleanor's words would definitely be pulling at his heartstrings. Right now, though, he was worried. He was having one of those anxiety-induced stomachaches that Chidi was always complaining about. He wondered if Tums would work to fix it, even though he wasn't human.
Eleanor continued, getting slightly angrier at not getting her way, "Those are my memories. I want them back."
Michael sighed. "Okay, fine. Have a seat."
There was a pause as Michael and Eleanor sat down, and Michael couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable the chairs were! They were cheap. Even The Bad Place had better chairs. Was this low-funded public library really the place he was going to ruin Eleanor's perspective of herself? He had noticed she had been really close with the "Brainy Bunch" this time around; maybe none of their relationships would have to change.
No, he thought. He knew it would change their relationships; that's why he was trying to keep it a secret from Eleanor for so long. Humans are so weird with their emotions. That's one thing Michael still hadn't understood about them. Why were they always so full of emotions?
"Luckily, before we shut the neighborhood down, Janet saved a complete record of all the reboots," Michael said, fidgeting with Janet's weird memory machine. "Put these in your ears." Eleanor eagerly listened but looked confused as Michael pulled out common household items, such as a banana and a paper towel roll.
"What's all that for?"
"You'll see," Michael quickly brushed her questions off. "We're going to start with a simple, three-second memory."
"Why only three sec—" Eleanor was quickly interrupted by Michael starting the machine, and soon she was inside her memory! Of course, she couldn't control herself like in a lucid dream, and it didn't exactly feel like a memory. It was more like watching a TV show from a first-person perspective.
In her memory, she was walking through the streets of The Good Place neighborhood—the memory felt like when you forget what you're going to say but it's still on the tip of your tongue. She could almost recognize the neighborhood and the people roaming the streets, but she couldn't quite remember how– of course, she knew how; she was dead.
If she looked to her left, she would see Chidi—in this lifetime she knows him as her nerdy, slightly annoying teacher, but in the afterlife? There was a slightly different energy surrounding him. It was like seeing an actor in a movie who you recognize as a different character from somewhere else. Across from her seemed to be a couple: a tall, large man in a blue shirt and a short, brunette woman in a bright yellow shirt.
"Oh, hi Eleanor!" the man said, clearly proving that he knew her. Well, of course he knew her; it was her memories, after all.
"Buongiorno, Eleanor," the woman said– was that a French accent?
"Morning Bambadjan! Morning, Vicky!" She had felt the words spill out of her mouth before she could prevent it from happening. She turned to Chidi with her troublemaking smile. Chidi in that lifetime would have probably recognize that mischievous smile; that's if Michael wasn't lying about them being in love. Anyone in love with Eleanor–or anyone who even knew Eleanor–would recognize that smile. She groaned. "Those two are such forking dweebs."
Before she could catch Chidi's reaction, (she had no doubt that the disappointment on his face would be kinda funny– no, scratch that–it would be hilarious) she was back in the library.
"As I told you, recalling afterlife memories here on Earth has some... significant side effects," Present-day Michael said.
Her brain felt like she was electrified and she was bald, she was scared out of her mind and she spat out some of her teeth into a small tray that Michael held out for her.
"You should be back to normal in about... 20 minutes."
And for the next twenty minutes, all she could think was: If this wasn't Earth, I'd think it was The Bad Place.
That's how she learned what the banana from earlier was for. Once she ate it, she was back to normal.
"Ahh, looking a little better," Michael teased, walking back to the table and sitting back down. "The banana must've helped."
"Before we go any further, I have one very important question," Eleanor said in that mischievous smile that everyone knew all too well by now. "Did I look hot bald? 'Cause I always kinda felt like I could pull it off."
"I have no real ability to guage physical attractiveness in humans," Michael said, and it kinda disappointed Eleanor because well, she loved being called hot for one, and two, she felt bad for Michael. She found everyone hot. She couldn't imagine not being attracted to anyone.
Michael smiled in his own mischievous way. "But, no, you did not 'pull it off.'" (Eleanor did not look like she believed him at this, though... talk about a high ego.)
Eleanor took a sip of her water and secretly hoped that being hydrated would make the next side effect hurt less. Michael continued speaking. "Okay, that short clip should have rewired your brain like an inoculation. So now I can show you the highlights. Reboot 119. I'm skipping all the sleeping and chewing, you guys are always either sleeping or chewing something," he said like he was in disbelief, before he hit the button to start playing the next memory.
Eleanor sat in what she assumed what was her house– of course, she couldn't quite remember, but she knew and remembered feeling safe in this house. Next to her was Chidi, who, once again, had a different energy about him. He was different than the professor version of Chidi that Eleanor had come to know, and Eleanor still hadn't figured out if that meant she was just not attracted to Chidi in this reality.
"So," Chidi said as Eleanor played with the book in her hands. "We are moving to the subject of free will versus determinism. We are officially done with Nietzsche."
Maybe her brain was just playing tricks on her, but Chidi from the afterlife was... looking at her differently than Alive Chidi...
Eleanor felt herself groan. "I'm gonna miss Nietzsche. I spent a lot of my life thinking I was better than everyone else, and he showed me... why I was right! Give me that reading list!"
It might sound shitty to say, but Eleanor was almost relieved that the Eleanor from her memories wasn't too different than Alive Eleanor. She was still being mean to and teasing Chidi.
"What do we got? Ooh, A little Aristotle, little Descartes, little Tommy Quine-Quine– That's what I call St. Thomas Aquinas."
"Three months of philosophy class and you're already-" Chidi's thoughts were interrupted, but it was like Eleanor somehow knew why. She reached over to the other side of the couch and grabbed a tissue for Chidi to sneeze into.
The energy in the room had shifted, but Eleanor was too busy reading the list of authors that Chidi had given her to notice. That is, of course, until she sensed him smiling at her. Confused, she looked up and smiled back. "What are you grinning at, weirdo?" The smiles lasted for a few more moments before Eleanor stood up and said "Come on, we're gonna be late for the neighborhood meeting."
When Eleanor's memory ended she was kinda annoyed. Not because of anything Chidi did, but because she knew that the Neighborhood meeting would've had to have happened at Tahani's house. She doesn't know how she knows this, considering the fact that she doesn't remember anything else surrounding the memory. She just had a feeling.
"Can I ask you a question, Michael?"
"If you must," he sighed.
"Were Tahani and I friends during this reboot? Or was this one of the reboots where I hated her because she's hot and smart and pretty and talented and british?"
Michael raised an eyebrow at Eleanor, but nonetheless, he seemed to be a little nervous. "Why is that important to know?"
"I don't know how I know this, but I have a feeling the neighborhood meeting was hosted in Tahani's house. I can't really remember the context of memories but I can remember the energy. I remember I was excited for the neighborhood meeting, which doesn't really sound like me at all, unless I was looking forward to seeing something or... someone"
"Well, of course it was hosted in Tahani's house. She had the biggest building in the neighborhood! It was actually my secret way of torturing her, believe it or not. You see–"
"Michael! It sounds like you're avoiding the question."
"I don't remember whether or not you guys were friends. Do you believe me now?"
"No, not really!" Eleanor yelled. Honestly, a public library in Arizona might just be the only library you can just yell in and no one would care. Michael knew the face that Eleanor was making, she did it alot with Chidi when they were first paired together. She was angry. She wanted real answers. "You said Janet has a record of all the reboots. If you 'forget', pull it up, I'll tell you what happens."
"Okay, I'll show it," He groans, "but please remember; I was a demon. I did these acts to torture you."
"Yadayadayada," Eleanor muttered, putting the headphone‐looking-things in her ears and closing her eyes, waiting patiently for the machine to start.