Chapter Text
“Oscar Piastri, are you listening to me?”
He winced, switching his phone to his other ear and pulling his jacket tighter against the wind. “Yeah, I'm listening, mum.”
“Then what did I just say?”
“Something about a…florist?” he guessed, stepping over a dead tree branch.
His mum sighed. “No, I said Jamie’s getting married to Charlotte in two weeks. You’re flying home for it. Right?”
Oscar exhaled through his nose. The engineering building loomed to his left, a blocky, concrete reminder of his ever-growing to-do list.
His third project this semester was due next Friday–an absurd circuit analysis report that, according to his professor, should take “a few afternoons.” Oscar had already spent three full days on it and hadn’t even finished the diagram.
“I’ve got a lot going on, mum,” Oscar said carefully. “My control systems professor doesn’t believe in joy.”
“It’s just one week, Oscar. Tell your professors to give you the final projects now. His wedding is in the summertime, so that you could come too.”
Oscar blinked, “A week?? I don’t know…”
“Come on, it’ll be fun.” She paused, “Oh, and your aunt Marie's arranged for you to meet someone.”
He stopped in his tracks.
“What?”
“Just a casual setup. He’s Jamie’s friend. Very sweet, blonde, I think. You’ll love him.”
Oscar nearly walked straight into a lamp post. “Nope. Absolutely not. You can cancel that.”
“Oscar–“
“Nope,” he said again, firmer this time. “No blind dates. No matchmaking. None of it.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be necessary if you ever told me about your dating life–“
“I have a boyfriend.”
Oscar didn’t mean to say it. Not really. It just slipped out, like a knee-jerk reaction to being cornered.
There was a pause on the line.
“You what?”
Oscar ran a hand through his hair, heartbeat thudding in his ears. He considered backtracking, but the silence grew.
“Yeah,” he said, forcing the word through clenched teeth. “I do.”
Another pause, then.
“Well, why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Her voice had gone high-pitched with excitement. “What’s his name?”
Oscar looked up–and of course, because the universe had a personal vendetta against him, he saw Lando Norris laughing with his friends 20 feet away. Unaware of what Oscar was about to say.
“Lando.”
He winced before the word even finished leaving his mouth.
“Lando?” his mum echoed, delighted. “What’s he like? How long have you been keeping this from us?”
Oscar cleared his throat. “It’s uh…new,” he said, which wasn’t a lie so much as it was a stalling tactic. “Didn’t feel like the right time to say anything.”
“Oh, don’t be silly. Of course it is. I knew something was going on. You’ve sounded lighter lately.”
He hasn’t. Absolutely hadn’t. If anything, he’d sounded more sleep deprived and overstimulated than usual, but sure, let’s call that love.
His eyes tracked his arch-nemesis across the walkway. Lando, still laughing with Carlos and Alex, making ridiculous hand gestures, had no idea what Oscar had just done.
Oscar turned away, ducking behind a cluster of students headed to the library.
“Anyway,” his mum continued breezily, “you’re bringing him to the wedding, right? I’ll tell Aunt Marie not to bother with the setup.”
“What? Wait, no–don’t—“ Oscar broke off, too late.
“I’m already picturing how excellent the photos are going to be. Ah, I'm so happy for you, Oscar. Finally found someone.”
“Mum–“
“You always said you weren’t going to rush into anything,” she continued. “But I told your father just last week that I had a feeling. And now look!”
Oscar shut his eyes, feeling a headache starting to form. “
“Can we not make a big deal out of this?”
His mum scoffed. “A big deal? Oscar, you just told me you have a boyfriend. This is a big deal.”
“I…right. Yeah.”
“You are bringing him to the wedding, right?”
Oscar’s feet slowed on the sidewalk. He could lie. Again. Say Lando was busy. Say they’d broken up. Literally anything.
But instead, he said. “Yeah. I am.”
“Perfect!” She chirped. “I’ll add him as your plus one and on the seating chart. I can’t wait to meet him, Oscar. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks,” he mumbled.
She hung up a moment later with a cheery goodbye, and Oscar stood there for a moment. Staring at the blank screen.
What had he just done?
His phone buzzed a moment later with a text from his mum.
Mum
Don’t forget to send me a picture of the two of you!
Oscar stared at the message like it might self-destruct if he looked at it longer.
A photo. She wanted a photo.
Of him and Lando Norris.
As boyfriends.
He closed his phone, shoved it deep into his pocket, and resumed walking, faster now.
He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t even know why he’d said Lando’s name.
And now, thanks to a snap decision and a thoroughly meddlesome mother, he had a problem.
He needed to convince Lando to be his fake boyfriend.
For a wedding.
For a whole week.
God help him.
——
Oscar barely remembered the walk back to his apartment. His phone buzzed twice more in his pocket–probably his mum again–but he didn’t look.
He kicked the door open with a little too much force, dropped his bag by the kitchen counter, and slumped into the sofa.
From across the room, Logan looked up from his laptop. “You good?”
Oscar didn’t answer right away. He looked at the ceiling with his earlier headache coming back at full force.
“I think I fucked up, Logan.”
“Oh.” Logan blinked. “What did you do now?”
Oscar closed his eyes and sighed. “I told my mum I have a boyfriend. And that I would bring him to my cousin’s wedding in a week.”
There was a long pause. Then–
“Okay…” Logan said slowly, “That’s not terrible. Who is it?”
Oscar cracked an eye open. “Lando.”
Logan’s face twisted. “Lando. As in Lando Norris?”
Oscar groaned. “Yes. And now she wants a picture. For the family group chat. She said she’s putting him in as my plus one.”
“Holy shit.” Logan shut his laptop. “So…you’re telling me, instead of just saying you were too busy, you invented a relationship with your mortal enemy? You know you could’ve picked anyone else, right? Like, anyone without a god complex and the need to be better than you at everything?”
Oscar let his head fall back against the cushions. “It just…slipped out.”
Logan started laughing, and Oscar threw him a glare. Logan held his hands up, “Hey, don’t get mad at me for something you did to yourself.”
Oscar sighed. “What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”
“Ask Lando to be your boyfriend. Simple.”
Oscar threw a cushion at Logan’s face. “I’m going to kill you.”
—-
That night, after Logan retreated to his room and Oscar to his, he lay awake in his bed.
The room was too quiet, the ceiling too blank, and the thought of asking Lando to pretend to be his boyfriend for a week at a family wedding wouldn’t let him rest.
It wasn’t even just that they didn’t get along. It was that they never got along. Lando was loud and smug and always knew exactly how to get under Oscar’s skin.
He wasn’t even sure if Lando would say yes. And if he did, it would only be because he found the whole thing hilarious, and would be relentless about it to Oscar for the rest of their lives.
Oscar sighed and reached blindly for his phone on the nightstand.
He opened his text messages, opening Lando’s contact.
Oscar stared at his contact a little longer, thumb hovering over the keyboard. Then, with a muttered, “Fuck it,” he started typing.
Oscar Piastri
Library. Tomorrow. 11am. Need to talk.
Don’t make me regret this.
He hit send before he could think twice.
The reply came suspiciously fast.
Lando Norris
well well well
that sounds more like a threat
I think i value my life more
Oscar Piastri
it might be if you’re late.
just show up, norris.
Lando Norris
fine ill grace you with my presence
try not to make it boring
I have papers to do
Oscar threw his phone on his bedside table and pulled the covers over his head.
This was either going to work really well, or blow up in his face.