Between Jade and Dust

by akitonr1fan

Summary:

Born into privilege and wrapped in the rigid expectations of nobility, Toya Aoyagi has always lived a life of careful control, never daring to want anything for himself. But when he crosses paths with Akito Shinonome, a lowborn blacksmith with a passion for swordsmanship no one else seems to see, something inside Toya shifts.

He wants to learn what it feels like like to truely want something and he wants to learn those thing with Akito by his side.

But as said, he is an aristocrat and Akito is a commoner...and the two of them are both men. But no matter what, they will face everything together...

Notes:

Sooo...i recently finished Taming the tiger (Sob sob) and then immediatly got the idea to write an Akitoya fanfic in a similar setting as well. It takes place in the Jooseon Dynasty and Toya in an aristocrat, the son of the government official Aoyagi Harumichi and Akito is a blacksmith with a passion for swordsmanship. I wanted to keep their characters as canon as possible but it may be a little OOC but...who cares? I love how their chemisty is and how compley their emotions are and i cant wait to write the process they make. And if i got any words wrong that are conected to the dynasty- such as ways to adress an aristocart, names of lothes and building...please correct me!

So, without talking too much, i hope you enjoy the fanfic that i grew attached to!!

And english isnt my first language (its my third actaully) so if there are any words spelled wrong or the grammar is bad, MY BAD. I didnt pre read this >.<

Okay okay...ENJOYYY. and feel free to follow me on Tiktok! my pjsk acc user is @Akitoyasolosurmom and my TLOU acc user is @tlouismydrug

Chapter 1: Beginning

The Joseon Dynasty was a nation carved by order.

Everything had its place. From the red-tiled rooftops of the aristocrats to the straw huts of the butchers and beggars. Birth was law and blood was fate.

The son of the government official, Toya, always questioned their system. Ever since he was a child, people treated him like he was a gift by God. He would be praised for everything, even if he did a bad job. He would get anything that he desired, from toys to clothes to food. But though he had it all, he felt like he had nothing which is ironic if one thinks about the fact that he lives the luxurious life that a lowborn can’t even dream about.

What made him so different from others? Why was he privileged? Why did people have such high expectations in him?

All these questions flooded his mind as he smoked from the end of a long pipe, the bronze mouthpiece glinting in the moonlight. He was resting in his chamber, ignoring the stack of letters in front of him. Probably some matter that his father deemed important.

The air smelled of pine, sweet tobacco, and chrysanthemum tea left cooling on the table in the lacquer tray that his maid had brought him a while ago. Those chocolate covered rice cakes that he loves also remained untouched.

Harumichi, Toya’s father, had noticed how distant Toya had been the last days so he ordered a gisaeng to entertain him and he was waiting for her at this very moment.

“Hah…it wasn’t like this. He moved differently.”

Toya stopped smoking when he heard a faint voice. It wasn’t loud, but the silence in his chamber was so overwhelming that his ears tried to pick up anything that they could. It was a man’s voice, that’s for sure, but it wasn’t familiar to him at all.

He was curious now.

He placed the pipe down and rose from the floor, walking over to the door of his chamber and opening it as he slipped out carefully. It was late so everyone was asleep except for him.

His left ear picked up noise again, this time it was movement rather than words. Who could it possibly be?

Slowly, he walked toward the direction of the noises which was not that far from the Aoyagi Hanok. He stopped in his tracks when he spotted a figure move in the field right in front of their house. They moved with a sword in their hand- not a real one, but a worn practice blade. That person seemed to be dressed in linen no finer than a stable hands. So, a lowborn, Toya thought to himself.

And then he saw the hair.

Long, wavy, and orange, a strange, almost mythical hue. It caught the moonlight like flame refusing to be snuffed out. With every turn and motion, it flowed behind them like a banner in the slow wind. Long hair was uncommon for a non- aristocrat and even if they had long hair, they at least kept it tied but this boy let his hair breath…and it was also his first time seeing such a beautiful shade of orange.

It was an unusual scene. Toya had never seen a lowborn practicing with a sword or let alone be so good at it. He couldn’t help but stay there a little bit longer, leaning against a pillar as he watched the boy’s breathtaking movements. Toya knew how to fight with a sword- something his father had forced him to learn – but the way this boy used his sword was beyond mesmerizing.

Should he approach him? Ask for his name? But if he does, he will probably scare him off…but he means no harm, really. It’s the opposite. He wants to know more about him and maybe offer him one of the rice cakes that remained untouched in his chamber.

He was pulled out of his trance when sudden footsteps echoed through the street. The boy in the fields seemed to have noticed that as well because he immediately ran in the other direction and disappeared into the darkness. Toya had subconsciously reached out towards his direction, even if he wouldn’t have reached him.

Oh man…

The person approaching the Aoyagi Hanok was no other than Hwayoung, one of the few people that he actually liked talking to. She saw him standing at the entrance, leaning against the pillar and gave him a small wave as she approached.

“Toya- nim. It’s cold outside, what are you doing? Were you waiting for me?”

“…yeah, I was.”

She smiled at him before the two of them walked towards his chamber. The air was thicker than usual, since Hwayoung knew what she was here for. Since the two of them were pretty close, she also knew what he liked to do and didn’t. He was scared to express his own needs as he thought that he didn’t deserve to have any. She would reassure him that he’s just as worthy of deciding what he wants to do as any other person.

“Tea?” Toya asked as he slid open the door and walked in. “Its chrysanthemum tea, cold though”

She chuckled and shook her head, sitting down on the floor on the right side while Toya sat down in his usual place. Hwayoung reached for the chrysanthemum tea, and it was, in fact, cold. Her gaze also fell on the pipe right next to the trey which upset her even more.

“I told you to quit smoking. You will ruin your beautiful face and not find a wife after all.”

Toya picked up the pipe and placed it away from the table. Well, maybe he didn’t want to marry someone anyway so why quit? And besides, it was the only thing that could keep him calm.

“I’m trying. I just need some time” he muttered as he looked outside of the window in his chamber. She followed his gaze.

“Something has been stressing you lately, right? Your father had mentioned that, but I didn’t really think anything of it but now I can see it myself. Something is on your mind and it’s eating you up. You know that I’m always there for you, right? Just talk to me- “

Toya bit his lip in frustration and turned around, the sudden movement making her go quiet. He leaned over to her side, and she leaned back, giving him more room. Their eyes met but Hwayoung couldn’t find a single emotion in those empty grey eyes of him.

“I don’t even know what I would say,” Toya murmured, a hint of sadness in his voice. “It’s like trying to grasp water.”

She smiled up to him, reaching out and brushing a strand of blue hair behind his ear that had come loose from his bun. Toya just closed his eyes, the frustration now evident in his face.

“Let’s just get this over with” was the last thing he said before he leaned down, capturing her lips in a kiss that didn’t feel like one. Hwayoung felt the hesitation, the tension in his body but she had to play along. Both of them had to. So, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, and they continued to do what they were supposed to do. What was expected from them.

.

.

.

The first thing Toya felt was the heaviness.

Not of his body, but of his chest. The kind of weight that sleep only delays, never lifts. Sunlight spilled faintly through the windows of his chambers, dust drifting lazily in the beams. Somewhere beyond the walls, birds sang the same tired morning melodies they'd sung every day of his life.

His two-toned hair had come undone, now spread across the pillow like ink spilled on parchment. The blanket covered his naked body and when he sat up, that said blanket slid down from his chest. The chilly air met his skin and made him shiver slightly.

After a minute or two, he finally stood up and started to get dressed, layer by layer. The inner robe then the outer jeogori in muted blue. He tied the sash at his waist, combed a hand through his hair, then gathered it into a loose half-knot, letting the rest fall freely down his back.

Outside, the courtyard was already alive with quiet footsteps and rustling leaves. Toya stepped out onto the wooden veranda, walking past the stone steps and into the shade of the garden pavilion. his sanctuary, a place he loved to spend his time in when he was in a sour mood.

There, waiting with hands clasped neatly in front of him, stood his assistant, Han Jisoo. The young man bowed at Toya’s approach.

“Good morning, Toya-nari,” Jisoo said. “Forgive the intrusion, but the traders from the southern provinces have arrived in the capital. They’ve brought silk, foreign glass, and some spices from the islands.”

Toya raised an eyebrow slightly, not too impressed by it. “And?”

Jisoo straightened. “There’s talk of some rare pieces at the market. A few officials’ sons are heading out to see for themselves.” He hesitated, then added with a cautious tone, “Your father suggested your presence would be... expected.”

Toya gave a soft, tired sound, somewhere between a scoff and a sigh.

Still, he reached up, adjusting the collar of his robe slightly. “Very well” was all he said before he walked past his assistant and started to head towards the market with him.

The market was buzzed with life.

Stalls overflowed with red chilies, bundles of herbs, dried fish, and bolts of fabric dyed in muted indigo and bright persimmons. Merchants shouted over one another, chickens flapped between baskets, and laughter broke out near the rice wine sellers. Toya didn’t seem to be interested in anything at all. It was his assistant who knew what to buy.

Toya walked with the composed grace of someone born to be watched, his hands tucked neatly behind his back, expression unreadable. Jisoo trailed beside him, murmuring updates and suggestions: which official’s son had bought what, which spice was in short supply and so on.

“Cmon c’mon! I saw it! The most beautiful red silk…we have to see it before anyone else snatches it up.”

A girl, probably his age, hurried past him, her skirt swaying with each step that she took towards another stand. Just behind her, a boy followed closely, his movements more cautious. The sun caught the strands of his hair A warm orange, tied neatly into a bun at the nape of his neck.

His breath caught. That color, that flame-like color, was unmistakable.

His mind flicked back to the evening before, to the boy he had seen practicing with a wooden sword. This was the same boy.

They stopped at a silk merchant’s stall draped with vibrant bolts of cloth that would catch anyone’s attention.

The girl’s eyes sparkled as she reached out to touch the fabric, her fingers trembling slightly. “It’s even more beautiful up close!”

But the merchant’s face darkened as he noticed them.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the man barked, glaring down at the pair.

The girl’s smile faltered.

“Lowborn aren’t welcome to admire such finery! You’ll just bother customers that can actually afford this,” the merchant growled. “Move along, or I’ll have the guards escort you away.”

The boy stood still but despite the humiliation, he said nothing.

Toya watched from just a few steps away, heart tightening with something he couldn’t name.

He should just ignore it since it has nothing to do with him but…he hates seeing others so helpless. Toya stepped forward and approached the stall and when the merchant noticed him, he immediately changed his expression, an exited smile appearing on his face.

“Ah, Toya-nari!” the man exclaimed, bowing so quickly his voice nearly cracked. Many people recognized him, even the one that weren’t from here as someone with two colors in their hair was not a common. “What an honor— I hadn’t realized— I didn’t see—”

Toya didn’t look at him. His gaze remained on the two beside the stand. The girl, now frozen in place, and the boy with orange hair whose shoulders had gone tense.

“They don’t bother me,” Toya said flatly, his voice a little harsher than usual. It was an answer to the merchant’s statement “They’re just admiring fabric.”

The merchant blinked. “O-of course, sir, I only—”

“I wasn’t speaking to you,” Toya cut in.

The man shrank back, his mouth opening and closing, but no words followed. Toya reached down and took some of the fabric into his hand, feeling its texture before he placed it back. He then turned his eyes on him for the first time.

“Does silk unravel when it’s touched by the poor?” he asked, tilting his head slightly. “Or is it simply that your pride does?”

The merchant stammered something incomprehensible, sweat beginning to bead at his temple.

Toya turned away before he could finish. “Then do your job, merchant. Sell your fabric.”

The girl next to him lowered her head. “I wasn’t going to buy it sir. I was just looking at it. We wouldn’t be able to afford it anyway.”

“Oh?”

The merchant fixed his posture, trying to come over as somewhat collected.

What a pathetic idiot Toya thought.

“S-See!? They touch stuff without the intention of buying it because t-they can’t even afford it! I have my reasons for leashing out on th- “

Toya reached into his sleeve and pulled out a silk pouch embroidered with the crest of his household. From it, he took out a small bundle, a string of yeopjeon, tightly wound and clinking as he dropped them onto the stall’s wooden surface.

The coins hit the table with a heavy thud. The merchant flinched.

“That should be enough for the cloth,” Toya said coldly. “And for your silence.”

The merchant was too stunned to speak as he gawked at the coins, far more than what the fabric was worth. But Toya wasn’t finished.

“If I hear you raised your voice at them again,” Toya added, his tone now more serious than before, “you’ll lose more than your tongue.”

With that, the stall went quiet.

He looked down at the girl and smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“It’s yours, do with it however you please” he added before he turned around and looked at the boy whose shoulders tensed even more as Toya’s attention was now on him.

Toya hadn’t meant to look. Not like that and not for that long. But when the two of them looked at each other, the marketplace seemed blurred around him.

The boy’s skin was tanned, probably from the days under the sun. It wore sweat and dust like a second skin. The freckles on his face were scattered boldly across the bridge of his nose. And his eyes-

Gods above, his eyes…

They weren’t the murky brown Toya had grown used to seeing among the servants.
No. They were green…jade green, bright and alive, like the rarest gems Toya had ever seen. Eyes that shine so bright that by just looking into them, light found its way into Toya’s lifeless grey eyes as well.

He wanted to tell himself it was nothing more than fascination with an unusual color.

Nothing more than passing curiosity about a lowborn boy standing where he shouldn’t.

Why did they look at him like that?

Why did he look at them like that?

It wasn’t beauty in the polished, painted way Toya had learned to admire.
No, it was the opposite. This was raw, unfinished, unrefined…

And it made Toya’s mouth go dry.

“Have a nice day and enjoy the market” he said, though his voice seemed quieter now. Was he nervous?

When the boy opened his mouth to say something, probably a “Thank you” or “We can’t possibly accept that,” Toya turned around and continued his stroll through market and his assistant followed him immediately.

He was already influenced by his eyes.

He doesn’t even want to imagine what his voice would do to him.

.

.

.

The sun was starting to set, and the traders were packing up as well now.

Meanwhile the two Shinonomes were sitting in their small house and Akito finished up his bowl of rice and placed the bowl aside while Ena held the silk in her hand, admiring its color and its texture.

“I can’t believe I’m holding this…it’s so beautiful! What shall I do with it? Hah I’m too scared to even make something with it. I definitely need to show this to Mizuki, she’s more into fabrics than I am...” Ena rambled while Akito grew tired of his sister’s excitement for some cloth. Yes, it was beautiful, and yes, it was a wonder that they were even able to possess something so luxurious, but his mind was elsewhere.

What could had possibly driven that man to do this for them? Not only did he stand up for them and humiliate the seller in front of so many people, but he actually paid for the silk and let Ena have it without requesting it in return. And for some reason, Akito had a bad feeling out this.

Word would probably spread fast about it since servants always loved to gossip, especially about anything that involved the aristocrats. And Akito feared that he and his sister could get involved in some pretty unpleasant thigs simply because that man offered his help.

Obviously, Akito knew who he was. That boy was no other than Aoyagi Toya, the son of Aoyagi Harumichi. He had seen him a few times but never from up close. His two-toned blue hair, the mole under his left eye…yeah, his eyes. They seemed so… empty. He had tried to find at least some kind of emotion in them as they locked eyes, but he only saw surprise in them towards the end.

Nope, he won’t be able to sleep if he doesn’t properly thank him.

Akito stood up, fixing his clothes and re-tying his hair. Ena looked up to him as he did and raised an eyebrow.

“Going somewhere?” she asked while still gently touching the red silk.

“I’m going to the Aoyagi Hanok. I want to know why he helped us. And also thank him. We didn’t do that, which was really disrespectful. There were many witnesses and if word spreads that we received silk as a gift from an aristocrat and didn’t even thank him properly…” his voice trailed off towards the end. Both of them knew what could happen.

“Okay then…” she also stood up and fixed the collar of his shirt, though it didn’t change much, “Be safe.”

“Will be”

With that, Akito stepped out of their house and made his way toward the Hanok. He knew very well where it was. After all, he trained there yesterday when everyone was sound asleep, or so he thought.

.

.

.

The sun was starting to set, and Toya could hear the people packing up their stuff as they prepared to close the market for the night. Ever since he had come back to his house, he had felt restless so the only thing that he could think of was sitting in his garden and smoking while he thought about everything that happened.

Toya wore a simple overcoat and his hold on the pipe remained the same as he blew out the smoke, the smoke trailing lazily into the air.

In front of him, on the table, was a tray filled with food – steamed white rice, pickled vegetables, and grilled fish – which was starting to get cold as it remained untouched.

Beside him, the maid stood with practiced stillness, her hands folded before her apron.

“My lord,” she said gently, bowing her head slightly. “You haven’t touched your meal. Is something not to your liking?”

Toya exhaled slowly, the smoke slipping past his lips like a sigh.

“No,” he said, not looking at her. “The food is fine. I simply have no appetite.”

The maid hesitated, then bowed again. “Shall I bring you something else?”

He shook his head once.

The silence stretched.

He brought the pipe back to his lips but didn’t inhale. His eyes remained fixed on a distant spot beyond the lotus pond, though his mind wasn’t there at all.

He was still in the market. Still standing by that silk stall. Still seeing the boy’s face.

The flash of orange hair, drawn up in a loose bun.

The defiant line of his jaw.

Those eyes, green and bright, like the first shoots of spring after a cruel winter.

He just wanted to know his name. Know the boy’s name that occupied his thought since yesterday.

Both the maid and Toya then looked over at another servant. He walked fast to them and bowed in front of Toya. “Sir there is someone who wants to talk to you.”

Toya closed his eyes, trying not to come over as too annoyed. His mood wasn’t the best right. Talking to someone wouldn’t make it better now.

“Tell them that I’m busy.”

“O-Okay…but the boy says he has come to express his gratitude…what should I tell him?”

Express his gratitude? Who could possibly be here to- wait. Toya opened his eyes again and looked at the servant more desperately than he intended to. “The boy, what does he look like?”

“Uhm…orange hair and green eyes. Judging by his clothes he seems to come from a lower-class family as well...”

Orange hair. Green eyes. Shabby clothes…it could only be him.

Toya tapped the ash from his pipe, letting the ember die as he set it gently on its tray.

“Bring him here,” he said, adjusting the hem of his robe.

The servant bowed and left.

The housekeeper gave Toya a careful look. “Shall I remain, my lord?”

Toya paused, then shook his head. “No. Leave us.”

She bowed and retreated, her soft footsteps vanishing into the main house.

Now that he was alone, he sat up straight and fixed his clothes a bit. What was he doing? It’s not like that boy is in any place to judge him for his looks anyway but…he wanted to at least look presentable?

Not soon after he heard two people walk into the garden and behind all the flowers, he spotted him. The boy thanked the servant for taking him to the gardens and then approached the place where Toya was resting.

“What brings you here?”

“Sir I…wanted to thank you…for today. You helped me and my sister and even bought silk for us,” he said before he knelt in front of Toya, pressing his hands to the floor and lowering his head, the depth of his bow speaking volumes of his respect, “I don’t know how to thank you properly…for the silk. And for not letting that merchant spit on us in front of everyone.”

Toya bit his lip and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees while he looked down at him. “Your name. I want to know your name. and please raise your head. We are the same age, I assume, and I’m not that strict when it comes to formalities so…”

He immediately raised his head and stoop up, keeping a straight posture. “Akito, sir, my name is Shinonome Akito…” he said and then went quiet. What else was he supposed to say?

Toya leaned back and crossed his arms, slightly tilting his head as he observed the ginger in front of him for a minute or so. Akito wasn’t trying to impress him in any way. He was really here to just thank him. He pointed his hand at the seat across from the table where the tray with the food was.

“Come. Sit with me”

Akito seemed to hesitate, but he just nodded and down across him. When nothing followed, Toya pointed at the food again and Akito realized why Toya had asked him to sit there. He immediately raised his hands and shook his head.

“That’s your food … I can’t possibly eat that- “

“I know,” Toya cut him off, sounding bored by the scared tone that everyone had when they were offered something that people form their class usually didn’t get, “But I’m not hungry. So, you might as well not let it go to waste.”

His eyes flicked down towards the carefully arranged dished as yes, he’d be lying if he said that drool wasn’t starting to collect at edge of his mouth but as tempting as it was, it felt wrong. Why was Toya being so nice to him? Clearly, he wants something…and Akito was too scared of finding out what that could be.

So, he shook his head.

“I can’t,” he said. “Rice like that… it’s not for someone like me.”

Toya raised an eyebrow, lips twitching into a smirk. “Are you saying you’re refusing an offer from me?”

Akito blinked. Wait what?

“It might be seen as disrespect,” Toya added, lazily playful now. “After all that I’ve done for you, the least you could do is accept my offer.”

The shock on Akito’s face was worth gold, Toya though.

The usually cold and distant Aoyagi teasing someone? That was new. “I…” Akito fumbled with his words, unsure what to say.

Toya noticed how confused the boy seemed to be, so he shook his head while the slight smirk on his face remained. “I’m just joking. Obviously, you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to and you refusing me won’t have any consequences but…I’d appreciate it. If my assistant finds another trey of untouched food, he will probably force-feed me so…you’d do me a favor by eating that for me.”

After thinking about it for one last time, Akito finally reached for the chopsticks and started to slowly eat some of the fish and Toya swore that those green eyes of his shined even brighter as soon as Akito tasted the meat.

So, as Akito began to eat the food offered to him, Toya took the tea and took a sip before he casually said: “I saw you yesterday.”

Akito almost choked on his fish and looked up to Toya. “Excuse me?”

“In the fields right across my residence,” Toya said, not looking at him. “You were practicing, sword in hand, sleeves rolled up. You also had your hair down.”

A flicker of something crossed Akito’s face. First it was shock, then embarrassment.

“You were watching me?”

Toya finally met his gaze and shrugged. “Only for a while. Long enough to remember.”

Akito shifted slightly, unsure if he should be flattered or unnerved.

Toya leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand, eyes sharp beneath the slope of his lashes. “You were good. Not the kind of swordsmanship they teach in noble households though. It wasn’t too aggressive but also not too gentle. It seemed as if you were one with the sword. A remarkable sight if you ask me.”

Akito looked away, the compliment too raw, too personal. He instead picked up one of the vegetables with his fingers instead and quickly ate it, not something a commoner would do in front of him.

“You’re tense,” Toya said after noticing that Akito was avoiding eye contact.

Akito then glanced at him. “I’m sitting in a nobleman’s pavilion, eating his food, and being watched. Wouldn’t you be?”

Toya chuckled. “You’ve got a mouth on you.”

Akito paused, then gave a faint smirk. “Most say that.”

Toya leaned forward and placed the now empty up back down on the tray. “You know,” he added after a pause, “you’re the first person who’s talked back to me in days.”

Akito raised an eyebrow. “And you enjoy that?”

“I enjoy seeing people’s true person instead of the fake one they put on as soon as they talk to me… and I enjoy not having to pretend as well.”

Akito's brow furrowed slightly. “Pretend?”

Toya leaned back, resting his cheek on his palm. “Being the perfect son. The well-bred heir. Every smile measured, every word chosen to please a man who doesn’t listen. You wouldn’t understand.”

Akito didn’t answer at first. Then, “No. I wouldn’t.”

Toya turned to him again, more serious now. “When I saw you yesterday… swinging that sword like the world might end if you stopped… I envied you.”

Akito stiffened. “Me? Someone like you envies me? That’s pretty dumb if you ask me.”

“You moved without a care in the world. You enjoyed what you were doing and only that was in your mind. There aren’t any expectations that weigh you down and even now, we are talking as if we are acquaintances. Yes, you tried to be formal at the beginning, but your true side showed itself really quickly. That carefree and somewhat confident side. I don’t get to be like that. And that what I envy, Akito. Your freedom that you have in certain aspects.”

Akito looked down, but not because he was uncomfortable, but to keep Toya from seeing the way his ears had flushed slightly pink. It was weird to hear someone talk like that about him, especially when that said person is an aristocrat. It unsettled him, how easily Toya’s words got under his skin.

Silence stretched between them and Akito tried to come up with a descend response, but he was caught off guard when the wind shifted entirely and judging by the sudden fresh smell, it was about to rain. Akito looked up to the sky and so did Toya and their suspicion was confirmed when the once pale clouds thickened into a heavy grey.

“Well, that’s inconvenient.”

Akito sighed and stood up. It was about to get dark anyway so he might as well head home while the rain isn’t strong enough to soak him from head to toe. “I should go-"

"No," Toya interrupted smoothly as he rose to his feet as well. “You should stay. You won’t make it home in time and catching a fever is not something you want right?”

Akito hesitated, glancing up at the sky as if hoping it might change its mind.

“Come on,” Toya added, already stepping down the wooden stairs. “My chambers are just there.”

He didn’t even get the chance to protest further because Toya was already walking ahead. Begrudgingly, he followed.

Toya’s chamber was warm, the faint scent of incense clinging to its corners. The rain had started by the time they entered, tapping slowly against the tiled roof.

Akito stood awkwardly near the threshold, clearly unsure where he was allowed to be.

Toya gave him a once-over, then grimaced. “You stink.”

Akito blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“I said what I said.” Toya shrugged, casually undoing the clasp of his outer robe and tossing it to a nearby stand. “You’ve got sweat and dust clinging to you. Take a bath before the furniture catches its smell.”

Akito opened his mouth, clearly about to decline on principle. Toya didn’t wait for an answer. He looked over his shoulder, smirking.

“Well? Are you coming, or do I have to drag you in like a stray dog?”

.

.

Steam curled gently in the air, the wooden tub nestled in a room connected to Toya’s chamber. Obviously, people like him have such things. The door to the main room was slightly opened and Akito could make out Toya’s moving figure through the door. While Toya was busy doing what Aristocrats usually did, Akito sat in the bath, arms resting on the rim while his damp hair was clinging to his neck and chest.

Now that he was alone, he was able to actually think about today’s events. An aristocrat bought silk for them, then allowed him to eat some of his food and then went on to tell him that he had been watching him “train” the evening before. And as if that wasn’t enough, he offered or ordered him to take a bath. In his personal bath. Which is absurd because no aristocrat would do so much for a person they met today. And sure as hell not if that said person is a commoner.

Obviously, he wasn’t complaining. It was quite relaxing and comfortable.

Still, comfort didn’t ease suspicion.

He enjoyed the bath some more before he eventually stepped out, taking one of the white robes that had been prepared alongside the bath. Since they didn’t know his size, it was a bit small on him, but at least it’s something.

Slowly, he slid open the door and stepped back into the chamber. He tried to at least dry his hair a bit with a towel but not much changed. The white robe was tied loosely at his waist and felt too soft against his skin.

Toya didn’t look up at first. He stood by the window, pipe resting between his fingers, a curl of smoke drifting lazily out of the window. His gaze then shifted to Akito, and he could swear that he saw satisfaction in Toya’s face.

“You look like a different person. You could pass as a nobleman’s son.”

Akito didn’t reply to that and just stood there, barefoot as small droplets of water hit the floor. Toya then walked away from the window and to the table on the floor. There were two cups of tea and a plate with what seemed to be yakgwa. He sat down, his back now facing the ginger as he continued to smoke.

“Cmon. Sit. Or else the tea will get cold.”

Reluctantly, Akito moved to sit opposite him on the mat, tugging the robe tighter around himself. He kept his head low, unsure if the warmth spreading through his chest was from the bath he just took… or the man now watching him with quiet interest across the table.

“Why are you doing this?”

Toya raised a brow. “Doing what?”

“This,” Akito gestured vaguely to the robe, “Offering me all this. I’m just—”

“A commoner, I know. A commoner who caught my attention,” Toya interrupted. “Do I need another reason?”

Akito frowned. “You should.”

Toya gave a low chuckle. “Maybe. But I’m tired of ‘should.’ Should behave, should marry, should smile when the ministers visit.” He leaned back, pipe balanced between his fingers, eyes half-lidded but sharp. “You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in a long time where I don’t feel like I’m performing.”

“You’re strange you know that?

“I know.”

After that, silence stretched between them. That gave Toya time to take in Akito’s appearance. His orange hair, now freed from the tie, came across even stronger now that it was clean and under some proper light. His tanned skin glowed faintly and the freckles on it were barely visible, but they were there. And obviously his eyes…he didn’t know what he liked so much about them. That’s probably how his father feels when he lays eye on a rare gem.

Toya’s gaze lingered longer than it should have.

He shouldn’t have looked.

Shouldn’t have noticed.

And he definitely shouldn’t have liked what he saw…

But he did.

And that alone made something heavy twist in his chest.

He had long set his pipe down, drinking his tea instead. As he took a sip, he looked at the walls of his chamber…at anything but the boy in front of him. But Akitos presence wasn’t something he could simply ignore so he looked back at him. It was hard to describe but him sitting right across him felt so…right. Unlike the empty stares and pretty smiles of the noble daughters presented to him at gatherings. Unlike the gisaengs hired to entertain him.

“You’re staring,” Akito said, voice low but not rude. More like he wasn’t used to being stared at, especially not like that.

Toya blinked and looked back, caught off guard. He tilted his head slightly, trying to remain composed, though his heart thudded a bit too loud in his chest.

"Am I? Must be the hair. It’s hard to miss."

Akito raised a brow, unimpressed. "You saw it yesterday."

“Not like this.” He said, too quick for his liking.

The air between them settled again, but it felt thicker than before.

He shouldn’t feel this.

He shouldn’t want this.

Not with a boy…

Not with this boy.

And yet, when Akito glanced down again, brushing his thumb lightly over the rim of the teacup, Toya found his eyes drifting once more. Something in him itched. It was the kind of itch that rules were supposed to kill long ago. And instead of brushing it away, he let it linger.

Akito looked up again and saw Toya’s gaze on his movements which made him chuckle as he took another sip. “Youre doing it again.”

Toya put the cup back down and let his hand rest on his knee. “Does it bother you?”

Akito tilted his head slightly. “Would it stop you if it did?”

He didn’t find the answer to that question. Instead, leaned in, then stopped himself halfway, his fingers playing with the fabric of his clothes.

He hated this. The second-guessing. The shame creeping into his chest like cold water. The voice of his father echoing somewhere in the back of his head, reminding him that want was a dangerous thing. Especially this kind of want.

“What is troubling you so much? It’s almost painful to watch.”

“I’m not sure what I—” Toya exhaled, frustrated. “What I want.”

“That’s not true.”

Toya’s gaze snapped up.

Akito’s voice softened. “You know exactly what you want. You just don’t think you’re allowed to have it.”

When Toya didn’t find the words for the claim, Akito just continued talking.

“You have so much power and yet…this is what’s holding you back?”

Toya blinked.

Akito leaned in slightly, elbows on his knees, robe slipping open a bit more as he moved. He didn’t seem to notice or maybe he didn’t care.

“You sit here, choking on everything you won’t let yourself feel, because someone out there told you that you weren’t allowed to want?”

He paused, eyes locking with Toya’s.

“Want it anyway.”

“I don’t even know if I—”

“Then find out,” Akito said. “Want it, or don’t. But don’t sit there pretending you’re above the fire when you’re already burning.”

Toya broke.

He surged forward.

It wasn’t graceful. It wasn’t quiet. It was desperate.

Toya closed the space between them in one breathless second. His hand reached out, catching Akito’s wrist, too tight at first, until he realized and eased. But he didn’t stop. His other hand found Akito’s face, thumb brushing along his cheek, his jaw, like he was trying to prove to himself this was real.

And then his lips crashed into Akito’s.

Toya kissed him like he was starving. Like he had never kissed anyone before and now that he had the opportunity, he never wanted to let go. There was no pretense…no slow leaning in, no teasing. Just the sound of breath hitching, cloth rustling, the soft thud of the table shifting as he half-knelt in front of Akito to reach him.

Akito kissed him back.

But where Toya was fire, Akito was grounding. He met him halfway, one hand moving to Toya’s collar, pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

It wasn’t resistance. It was reassurance.

Yes, I’m here. Yes, you can have this.

Toya pulled back for just a moment, their foreheads touching. His eyes were wide, almost stunned by his own boldness.

“I—” he began, breathless. “I don’t even know what this means.”

“You don’t have to” Akito whispered while he pulled Toya down with him, making him move over the table, the cookies and empty cups long forgotten on the ground. “Every question has its answer. Every action has its reason. Find your reason…find the answer-”

Toya kissed him again, this time slower, deeper. He pressed Akito down gently onto the wooden floor, his fingers searching for the string of his robe. While he did that, Akito’s fingers slipped into the folds of his robe, palms against the pale skin of his chest, and Toya shuddered with the unfamiliar feeling of being wanted. Wanted, not expected.

Whie his fingers undid the string he tilted down his head, his nose tickling against the gingers neck.

“Tell me to stop,” Toya whispered against Akito’s throat. “If you want me to stop, I will.”

Akito shook his head. “I’d already be gone if I did.”

And so, Toya didn’t stop.

He explored every inch of what he was never meant to have, of what society said he couldn’t touch. Freckles under his lips. Tan skin beneath his shaking hands. The soft exhale Akito gave when Toya’s mouth met his shoulder.

Toya’s hands pushed the robe further open, revealing more of Akito’s chest. The warm glow of the light caught on his sharp collarbones, his broad shoulders, and—

He froze.

Scars. Some shallow, others jagged and cruel.

They traced across Akito’s chest and down his ribs like faded brushstrokes.

Toya’s hand hovered there for a moment, fingers inches away. He wanted to know how Akito got them, but he didn’t ask. Something in him told him not to. At least not now.

Instead, he brushed his fingers gently along one, tracing its path starting from his chest to his torso. Akito’s skin flinched beneath the touch, but he didn’t pull away. He was watching Toya now, eyes unreadable. His breathing remained soft and steady, and he didn’t seem to mind at all.

Toya leaned in, pressing a kiss to the space beside one of the scars. Not out of pity, but because he wanted to. Because no one had taught him how to express his own needs, but he was learning now. He wanted this. He really wanted this.

While his lips gently trace along the scars as well, his fingers slowly moved down the robe from his arms before it only covered everything below his waist.

Toya’s hands found their way to Akito’s waist, tugging him closer as he leaned back up again, pressing his lips against the others. Akito responded in kind. His fingers curled into the fabric at Toya’s back, pulling him down.

As they kissed, Toya slipped out of his own clothes while he fumbled with everything remaining that covered Akito.

“This isn’t a mistake,” Toya whispered, like he needed Akito to hear it. “I want this…even if I’m punished for it.”

He discarded his robe to the side alongside Akito’s, leaning back up while the ginger remained on the floor. His cold hands caressed the others warm thighs and lifted them up before he pulled Akito closer, catching him off guard. Toya was definitely stronger than he seemed.

“I don’t care if people deem this as wrong...” he whispered, reassuring himself. “No one can tell me what I’m supposed to feel when it comes to something like this. I want to know, know so much more than I already do. Show me your world Akito…let me burn in your flames. Ruin me.”

.

.

.

Toya didn’t know what time it was, but the moon was still up, casting light into the otherwise dark chamber. Since he couldn’t sleep, he stayed awake and listened to the rhythmic breathing of the person next to him who was out cold instead.

Akito laid next to the aristocrat, chest facing down and his head buried in his arms. The blanket didn’t cover much, just anything below Akito’s back – not that it mattered since Toya had already seen everything.

His pipe laid close, and his fingers itched to take it, but they didn’t move. What if Akito wakes up because of the smoke? It’s certainly not the first thing a person wants to smell as they wake up.

Now that he started to think about the ginger again, he looked down at his sleeping form. Why was he able to sleep like a baby while Toya didn’t even feel tired? He always had trouble sleeping, but today, it was worse than usual.

So, he observed the others back that was facing him. Since the heat had passed, he could really see the scars on his back and take them in. They made Akito more unique if he’s honest. They held stories that Toya wanted to hear but wasn’t sure if he could. Akito already gave him so much today…he shouldn’t ask for more.

One particular scar stuck out more than the others. It covered most of his back, starting from his right shoulder and travelling down his back before it ended on his left hipbone. Those weren’t scars that one would get during a fight or in battle. Those scars were carved with a purpose in mind. A cruel one.

Toya reached out.

His fingertips hovered above the scar for a moment before touching down, brushing the scar carefully. His hand trembled, just barely.

He didn’t mean to wake him.

But Akito stirred, brows drawing together. His breath hitched slightly, then evened out again. Only his voice broke the silence.

“…That tickles.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really. Not anymore” Akito yawned turning to lay on is back, keeping his arms under his head. Now his chest was on display. Toya didn’t know what he preferred more to be honest.

“Why were you awake? Can’t sleep?” he asked, looking up to Toya. He had enjoyed the view of him with open hair before, but he looked even better right now. The two different tones of blue match perfectly to his pale skin, almost making him look like a ghost. One that he would gladly be haunted by.

“I’m not tired. Not like a certain someone who knocked out right after we were done. I know receivers get tired pretty quickly but you’re a different case.”

“Hah why are you blaming me? You just have the kind of stamina that no one would expect. And besides, you were so riled up that I didn’t even stand a chance” Akito groaned before he also sat up, scratching his head. “My hair is finally clean again. I hadn’t taken a bath in ages. And if I did, then with water so cold it actually hurt, and…”

Toya looked over at him while he started to ramble about his life, complaining how his sister would always steal some of his food if he didn’t pay attention and he even found out that Akito is actually a black smith. That’s where he got his passion for fighting with a sword.

“…but people never take me seriously. Each time I bring requested swords to the training grounds, I see soldiers fight so badly I actually feel an itch in my chest. They call themselves fighters but are too lazy to even learn the correct way of holding a sword.”

“Then why don’t you point it out?”

“Easier said than done. I…tend to say things before thinking so I once, I pointed out a soldiers mistake and he took it the wrong way and…things got pretty messy. After that I just kept my mouth shut”

“How come you’re so good at sword fighting?”

“You got to know what you’re making” he answered as he leaned back on his elbows, looking up to the celling. “My father is also a blacksmith, so I often watched him do his job and so, I found a liking in swords as well. He used to be a soldier before he had to give up his post because of an injury so he also taught me how to use the sword ever since I was 7 years old. I want to become a solider one day…but people don’t take me seriously as I already said.”

When Akito talked about something that he’s passionate about, he has that different glow on him that he could get addicted to. So, this is what a person looks like that is genuinely passionate about something…a person who knows what he wants from life even though he might never achieve it. Yet Toya didn’t know what he wanted despite having so many opportunities. What does he want from life? What would he be passionate about the same way Akito is?

“You’re doing that face again.”

Toya’s eyes widened when he noticed Akito looking right at him, his head slightly tilted.

“What face?”

“That conflicted face. You’re thinking too much again, just like you did when we sat together at the table. Don’t let your brain hold more than it should. I’m not that great of a listener but you can always dump it on me. Not that I’m in a position to judge you anyway.”

He didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t even know what he should say. But now that he thinks about it, he was kind of cold.

“I miss the warmth of your body” he blurted out instead. It wasn’t a lie. He felt alone. Despite having so many people around him, he never truly felt connected to any of them.

“Should’ve said that sooner. Unlike good advice, that’s actually something that I can give you” he answered, laying back down and grabbing Toya’s wrist as well, pulling him down too. Toya didn’t even have time to react as he felt the others skin against his cheek. His head was resting on the others arm while his hand rested on the others chest. He was hesitant for a second but then the tension in his body eased and he rested more comfortably against the other. His hand caressed the others chest and torso, slowly but surely. Akito hummed in satisfaction and closed his eyes. Toya tilted his head up and their faces, being so close again, felt better than he expected.

He sure is majestic…

“I’m thinking I don’t want this to be the only night,” Toya mumbled quietly as he too closed his eyes.

“Then don’t let it be.”

After that, no one spoke anymore and both fell asleep.

.

.

.

Toya woke up by the birds chirping their usual melody. It smelled fresh in his room after last night’s rain, and he felt oddly refreshed. He slept well, that’s for sure…

He shifted under the blanket with a subtle frown. But something didn’t feel right. The warmth that had pressed against his chest and side through the night…it was gone. He wasn’t there.

Toya was fully awake now.

He sat up, faster than he intended to, his hair loose and falling messily around his face. His heart jumped, but he tried to brush it off, to push down the quiet panic blooming in his chest.

The space next to him was in fact empty. It was rumpled which confirmed that everything that happened the night before wasn’t a dream.

Toya looked down at his hands and let out a sigh.

Of course he left. What did you think? That he’d stay? That he’d want to?

He let out a breath and rubbed at his face with both hands. “It’s normal,” he muttered to himself, jaw tense. “That’s how these things go.”

Still, the ache sat stubbornly in his ribs.

He heard the door slide open but didn’t bother to look up. It was probably the assistant who came to tell him what they had to do for today.

“I’d rather be alone right now,” he said flatly, his voice quieter than he expected.

“You always this dramatic in the morning?”

Now this voice didn’t belong to this assistant. No voice would make the pressure in his chest fade as quick as this one.

Toya blinked before he looked up, only to find Akito standing at the entrance, the morning sun hitting his hair in a way that made it look like actual flames.

“I figured you’d be thirsty when you woke up,” Akito said, holding up two clay mugs that were probably filled with water. “Did you sleep well? You looked like you hadn’t had a real night’s sleep in years.” While asking, we closed the door behind him and walked back inside

He knelt beside him and handed him one of the mugs, their fingers brushing for a second too long. “Did you miss me already?” he teased with a slight tilt of his head.

Toya looked away as he took the mug, hoping Akito wouldn’t notice the slight redness rising to his ears. “Don’t flatter yourself,” he muttered.

Akito chuckled again. “Sure.”

So the two of them sat in silence as they emptied their water before Toya broke the silence. “Anything you have to do today?”

“Now that you mention it, I do have to make a delivery… finished repairing some sword for the training grounds the other day and have to bring them over today. So, I have to leave in a bit anyway. And besides, I was gone the whole night so Ena might be worried. Or maybe happy because that means that she will have more fish today? Who knows?”

“Ena? Who’s that?”

“My sister. The person you bought silk for yesterday.”

“Ahh…go it”

“Anyway...” Akito stood up and stretched. “I need my clothes back. I can’t go there looking like this.”

Toya raised his eyebrow. “Your clothes? You call those clothes?”

“Oh, quit judging me, will you?”

“Why would one freely walk around in something like that?” Toya stood up as well, walking over to where his robe laid discarded on the floor. Akito stole a peek but looked away again before Toya could notice.

Akito liked their differences. Toyas skin was pale and smooth, like porcelain. No scars, but many, many moles scattered all over his body.

I want to kiss those moles, he thought to himself while chuckling.

“What are you laughing at?” Toya asked as he got dressed.

“It’s nothing” he answered, now also standing up.

“I’ll give you something else to wear. If anyone wants to complain about that, tell them that they can complain to me directly” Toya said while putting the last piece of clothing on. He then walked to the door and slid it open before turning around to Akito. “Are you coming?”

“Uh, yeah. Right behind you”

The two of them stepped out of the room and as they walked across the garden, Toya’s assistant came towards them, greeting Toya with a bow. Akito looked to the side, a bit uncomfortable.

“Good morning, sir. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did. I have a request. Pick out something for him to wear, will you?” He pointed at Akito who smiled awkwardly. The assistant nodded. “Right away sir. Follow me.”

As they walked towards the room where clothes were being stashed, Akito looked around, taking in the hanok. It was huge and the design was fascinating as well. He knew Toya was rich, but it was still unfamiliar to him to walk around so casually in a place like this.

Int the room, it didn’t take long before they picked something out that fitted and seemed casual while also being better than what he had before.

“Thank you for all of this, really. I’ll take my leave then. Do the delivery”

“Okay. How many do we have to make?

“Only one, the one to the- wait what?”

“Hm?” Toya tilted his head to the side, his hands behind his back. As if Akito just asked him the dumbest thing ever.

“What do you mean by ‘we’?”

“Oh, I’m coming with you. I’m curious where you work and how the conditions are. And maybe if the swords that you make are from high quality, I might just make requests as well.”

“You…you can’t be serious. What will the others think?”

Akito was right. Toya already humiliated a vendor in front of so many people only because he talked bad about Akito and his sister, he provided him with a bath and new clothes and now he wants to walk around the village with him as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Well, it is for him, but not for everyone else. And people hate things that they aren’t used to.

“I don’t care what they think. I’m merely walking with an acquaintance of mine. Nothing abnormal right?” Toya then turned around to his assistance and smiled, a sight that was so unusual for him that he shrieked back. “I’ll be off. Youre mostly free for the day. Just keep an eye on all the workers alright?”

“Y-yes…I’ll do that sir”

“Good. Let’s go Akito” He then walked past the ginger and headed towards the exit of the residence. Akito stood still and the assistant just muttered: “Sir is oddly motivated…” before he walked away so the ginger also walked a little faster to catch up to Toya.

As expected, they got many stares the minute they stepped out on the street. What was so interesting about seeing them walk together anyway? He stepped a bit closer to Toya, who as causally waking with a perfectly straight posture and his hands on his back. and whispered so that only he could hear it. “That’s what I mean by the others. I feel like their stares are punching holes through my body”

“They’re probably looking at me, not you. And even if, let them look.”

“Seriously, I don’t believe you aristocrats…” He mumbled under his breath and slightly stepped away again. Some time passed before they arrived at a small, what Akito called, house. It was probably the size of his garden alone, at best.

When they reached the gate, Akito stepped forward to push it open, the wood creaking as it moved. Before Toya could take in the full thing a voice tore through the silence.

“Akito!”

He heard Akito sigh next to him the moment his name left the others mouth. “Here we go again…”

A woman stormed out from the inner house, sleeves tied back, her brows furrowed and eyes burning. He had seen her yesterday but now that he saw her properly, she actually seemed to be older than him or maybe it was just the exhaustion and worry etched into her face that made her seem older?

“Where were you all night?!” she demanded, fists clenched at her sides. “You said you'd only go out for an hour! Do you have any idea— I thought they got their hands on you!”

Toya’s eyes narrowed slightly. They?

He looked to Akito, who shifted uncomfortably at her words.

 “Ena—” Akito began, but she wasn’t finished.

“I didn’t sleep! I checked every street! What if someone—”

“Ena.” Akito turned to her fully now, standing between her and Toya. “I’m fine. Look…” He stepped aside. Only then did Ena catch sight of the man behind him.

Her breath halted. Toya calm gaze met her wide-eyed gaze. Recognition bloomed across her face, and she instantly dropped her head in a bow.

“You— You're the man from the silk stall...” she said, her voice suddenly small. “Forgive me. I didn’t realize…”

Toya, caught off guard by her swift change in tone, merely blinked. “It’s alright,” he said, though his voice remained cautious.

Akito scratched the back of his neck. “The weather turned bad yesterday. Lord Toya offered me to stay at his hanok for the night. Nothing more.”

Well, technically, it was the truth. He offered him a place to rest. But it’s different if they rest in each other’s arms. Something ached in his chest. Not because Akito lied… but because he had to.

Ena slowly straightened, still avoiding Toya’s eyes. “I see. Then… thank you, Toya-nim, for offering my brother shelter.”

Toya opened his mouth, ready to insist formality wasn’t necessary, but one glance at how tightly she clutched her sleeve made him swallow the thought.

Akito motioned for Toya to follow him further in. “I just need to grab the sword and check the fittings. It won’t take long.”

Ena and Toya walked into the house as Akito disappeared in another section, probably where he worked on the swords or stashed them. Inside, the home smelled of cooled steel, dried herbs, and worn wood. Toya didn’t walk further inside and remained in the entrance. Ena hasn’t moved either, staying near the doorway.

“He doesn’t come home sometimes,” she said, low enough that it almost blended with the breeze. “And I always worry it’s the last time I’ll see him.”

Toya turned to her, unsure if he was meant to answer that. Still, he replied quietly, “He came home this time.”

She nodded, but didn’t smile. Her head turned towards the room where Akito was putting everything together and then looked at Toya, studying his face for a second. It didn’t take long for her to understand what happened between them. Big sister instincts after all.

“Sir, Akito has gone through a lot…to assure that we can live quietly. It’s ironic since I’m the older one. He was able to overcome most things but…please, don’t let him break something he won’t be able to fix.”

Before Toya could ask what she meant, Akito returned, swords in a bag on his back and his usual expression back in place.

“Let’s go,” Akito said, glancing between the two of them.

Toya looked at him for a long second before offering the faintest smile.
“Lead the way.”

.

.

.

The training grounds came into view just as the midday sun began piercing through the last veil of morning mist. Dust swirled in the air as young guards trained in pairs, swords clashing across the yard.

As Akito stepped through the wooden gate, two soldiers broke from their sparring and turned his way.

“Akito!” called one of them. He was the smaller one of the two and had a big smile on his face. “We thought you forgot about us.”

Akito gave a short wave. “Morning, Mita. Arata. Wish I would’ve forgotten about you. Gave me a whole lot of work”

Arata, the taller one with a rather smug smile on his face, looked down at Akito. “Oh, don’t be lie that, we know you love us.” He then noticed he wrapped swords in the big bag that Akito carried. “That them?”

“Yup. Should be better than before that’s for sure” Akito said, already sliding the bundle off his back. “Let me know if they still feel uneven.”

As he unwrapped the blades, several other trainees approach the group, each taking one of the swords with a pleased smile on their faces.

That’s when they noticed Toya, standing just behind Akito with his arms folded, posture straight.

The shift was immediate. Every man bowed slightly, expressions tightening with respectful deference.

“Sir,” Mita said quickly. “We didn’t realize you were accompanying Akito.” Toya nodded, not saying anything else. Are they done here? He’d like to go.

The trainees walked  back to their circles, two of them taking the new swords and moving to the center to try them out. Akito stood with his arms crossed, eyes narrowing at their first few swings.

“Hah, their posture is horrible…” he mumbled, probably to himself. “And that grip is just embarrassing.”

Mita overheard and turned to him with a smirk. “Really, Akito? Their form’s that bad that even you noticed?” Mitas answer was louder than expected and the two trainees stopped mid motion, not so happy about the fact that a blacksmith was talking down on them.

“If you have something to say then say it to my face” one of them shouted as he walked over to the group, his sword in his hand. Mita stepped away and Arata looked at him with a pissed expression, but Akito didn’t move at all.

“I’m good. I still have work to do so continue with your t-“

“Listen here, idiot,” The man said as he pointed his sword at Akito, the tip of it barely two inches away from his face, “you’re a blacksmith, so know your place. Someone like you can’t talk down on me. So shut your mouth and don’t let me see your face around again”

“Dude what the fuck? Knock it off”

“Seriously, you’re overreacting”

“Show some respect, will you?”

The comments from the others seemed to irritate him even more and he tightened his grip on the sword, the tip now closer to Akito’s face. The whole time Toya stood there but didn’t know what to do. Should he intervene? But would they listen to a word that he says?

“Do you guys seriously think that I’ll let him talk shit about me as if he knows better? Just because he make swords doesn’t mean that can tell me how to use them!”

Akito had tried to stay calm, but that man’s childish behavior and dumb comment just made something snap in him that made him even angrier.

In one swift motion, Akito swept his foot beneath the sword resting on the ground right in front of him and flicked it into the air. His hand caught it and before anyone could even process the movement, Akito had already disarmed the man in front of him, his sword clattering to the ground several meters away

Now Akito was the one pointing the blade at him and he gave of a completely different vibe now, one that made everyone there freeze in their tracks.

“You act like a child,” Akito said quietly. “You’re given a tool meant to protect…and instead you turn it into a toy because someone pointed out that you don’t know how to use it.”

His words stung. The silence that followed stung worse.

Akito lowered the sword, stepped forward, and let it drop at the man’s feet with a dull thud.

“Grow up. And accept help when someone offers it.”

He then turned around and caught a glimpse of Toya’s shocked expression before he leaned down and picked up the back and headed towards the exit of the training grounds, not even waiting for Toya.

The bluenette immediately followed him, barely keeping up with the others fast steps. He didn’t know what to say. Akito seemed angry and he fears that any comments from his side might make it worse. So, he sticked to him for now, walking in silence as Akito walked towards God knows where.

After a while, Akito came to an halt and turned around to face Toya, though his gaze locked onto the floor rather than the man in front of him.

“Why are you following me?”

Toya tilted his head. Right. Why was he following him? Maybe he wanted answers to Akito’s little outburst just now? Or maybe he didn’t want to leave his side just yet?

“You did the right thing,” he said instead.

Akito let out a dry sound that might’ve been a scoff. “Did I?” He finally looked up to him, but his face wasn’t hostile. Just... tired. “You saw their faces. Doesn’t matter if I’m right. They don’t want to hear it from me.”

Toya opened his mouth, but Akito beat him to it.

“I already told you…no one listens when someone like me speaks,” Akito said, voice quiet but firm. “I make their swords. I fix their mistakes. But when I tell them how to hold it, suddenly I’m overstepping.”

He glanced away.

“I’ve stopped trying to be anything else.”

The weight of it settled between them like a wall. He had never expected that Akito felt like that…that the boy who had occupied his thought for the last two days was someone who wasn’t used to other people’s attention. How could anyone ignore someone like him?

And somewhat, they felt so distant now. Last night they had been close enough to feel each other breathe.

Now, they stood a world apart.

“I want to listen,” Toya said quietly.

Akito didn’t respond. He just looked at him, like he didn’t believe it…or didn’t know how to believe it.

Toya glanced away, then back again.

“I don’t have... dreams. Or goals. Or some big reason to keep walking forward.” He swallowed, not sure if he was saying too much. “But if you do then I want to help you get there.”

That made Akito blink. His mouth opened slightly, but no words came.

“I mean it,” Toya added, voice steadier now. “If it matters to you, then it matters to me.”

Akito didn’t answer.

He stood still, eyes locked on Toya’s, but his expression hardened, like the words had struck something inside him. He looked like he wanted to step back, like he didn’t know what to do with what he was hearing.

Toya didn’t let him.

He closed the distance between them and stepped closer, until there were barely inches between them.

“This is new for me too,” Toya said softly. “It’s the first time I’ve ever wanted something. Really wanted something.”

Akito’s looked down, unsure what to say.

Toya continued, voice low. “I want to help you reach your goals. I don’t care how big or small they are. If they matter to you, they matter to me.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then Akito scoffed, like the words unsettled him more than he wanted to admit. He looked down.

“That’s stupid,” he muttered. “Why would you want to help someone like me chase a goal like that? No one cares about that kind of thing. And I’m not—” He stopped himself. Bit his lip. “I’m not worth all that.”

Toya looked at Akito’s expression for a second before he lifted his hand, cupping the others’ cheek while he looked down at him. The gesture caught Akito off guard. His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t pull away.

“I don’t have a reason.”

Akito’s breath caught.

“I just like you.”

The words came out simply. Honestly. They didn’t need to be dressed up in explanations or wrapped in grand meaning. Just the truth, plain and bare.

“I’ve never... felt this way about anyone before,” Toya added. “And I don’t know what it means yet. But I want to find out. And I want to do that with you…if you’re okay with that”

Akitos mouth parted slightly, eyes studying him like he was trying to see past the words to the heart behind them.

He didn’t say anything. Not yet. But after a second, Toya felt the warmth of Akito’s hand slide up, fingers curling gently around his wrist. Not pushing him away. Just holding him there, like he needed to ground himself.

And for the first time since the sword hit the dirt, the tension between them didn’t feel like a wall.

It felt like the first step across it.

Chapter 2: Spring and Summer

Notes:

"Ill upload the second chapter in two weeks" were the words that i wrote almost two months ago in the first chapter...

ANYWAY YAAL IM BACK- i was actually employed and worked 9 hours almost each day so...i didnt have the energy or the motivation but now that my work came to an end, I have more time so i picked this up again. I originally planned to have the whole story in three chapters vut i decided to split the second one into two seperate chapter so now itll be a total of 4 chapter. This chapter is showing Akitos and Toyas relationship in spring (the beginning) and then summer (the development). So logically, the next chapter will be about autmnn and winter- the more depressing seasons (hehe...heehahaha)

Anyway, now...PLEASE ENJOY AND FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS- they always motivate me :D

Spring has arrived.

After the first flowers started to bloom in the village and birds started to sing their morning songs more enthusiastically, Toya’s mood was also lifted. He’s the kind of person to flow with the vibe of the atmosphere, so if it’s a good one, he’ll feel good as well.

That’s what Akito noticed when he looked over at Toya who stood with his arms crossed and with a proud smile on his face in front of a newly built section of the residence.

It wasn’t just any room though…

“You are impossible Toya…” Akito said while rubbing his temple. “It’s too much”

“Hmm, I’m really pleased with it.” Toya said with a smile on his face. He practically beamed with pride.

After Toya had said that he wants to help Akito live out his dreams, he was serious. He convinced Akito to come and work at his residence – obviously not like an actual worker but it’s a way to excuse the time that Toya’s spending with him. So, what did Toya decide? Now, for everyone who works at the Aoyagi residence, Akito isn’t only the family’s blacksmith, but also Toya’s personal instructor in swordsmanship. And for those – ahem – lessons, they will need a proper training room.

“You’ll be able to train in there as much as you want. You also have your own workshop connected to the training room. Isn’t it perfect??”

Akito just rolled his eyes and didn’t seem to be impressed at all. “Do rich people always waste their money on the most useless things?”

Well, it wasn’t really useless, but Akito felt too spoiled. Why would Toya make this for him?

“I thinks it’s a good investment. I’ll have someone close who’ll take care of my swords and I’ll also have my personal instructor near me to answer questions about swords. And I’ll let you know, I have many questions that need to be discussed in my chamber” Toya explained, and Akito couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the last comment. “And you’ll also be able to focus on your fighting in the room and no one – besides me of course – will interrupt you.”

Toya’s sneaky comments made him groan in annoyance as he looked into the other direction “Who knew that Aoyagi Toya is such a pervert?”

“Excuse me, I’m no pervert. I’m well…devoted I’d say.”

“Oh my…”

“Well, enough talking. Why don’t we go inside? I’m sure you’ll stop complaining as soon as you step in there”

Hesitantly , Akito slid open the door and stepped inside and the moment he did, he froze.

He looked around the room, his eyes sweeping over the space, lingering on every carefully thought-out detail. The polished Darkwood floor, the high ceiling, the weapon racks lining the wall…There were even silk banners hanging from the beams, dyed in warm neutral tones that made the place feel personal in some kind of way.

He had expected everything but this.

Toya stayed behind, arms loosely crossed as he watched the shift in Akito’s expression.

He looks like a kid who got handed cookies for the first time… Toya thought.

Seeing that expression on his face made every coin, every favor, and every explanation worth it.

Akito walked over to the sword rack and observed the different swords. His fingers ghosted along the handles before he finally picked one. He turned it slowly, the blade catching the light just enough to show the masterwork details along the blade and the handle.

Then he paused. “Wait a second,” he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “This pattern... Is this one of Kamishiro’s?”

Toya raised a brow. “You can tell just by looking?”

“Of course, I can…The blades color alone just tells that it’s made by high quality steel and the engravings on the blade gave it away as well but…” Akito stops observing the sword and looks over to Toya, “He only forges for the Imperial family”

“Mm. Guess I owe someone a favor now.” Approaching Tsukasa with a matter like this was unusual but Tsukasa helped him a lot to get his hand on the blade…but of course Tsukasa was able to convince Rui…they’re pretty close.

The silence that followed was thick. Akito stared at the sword again, then quickly looked away, as if he was embarrassed to have held it for so long. His cheeks flushed slightly. “I don’t know what to say…”

Toya uncrossed his arms and approached Akito , stopping just in front of him. He reached out and cupped Akito’s cheek, his thumb brushing lightly beneath his eye. “Seeing you this exited? I’ll buy three more swords if that means that I’ll get to see this light in your eyes again”

Akito's eyes met his. He didn’t say anything.

Toya gave his cheek the slightest squeeze and added with a small grin, “Although if you start crying over a sword, I will tease you forever.”

Akito rolled his eyes and looked away, cheeks pink. “Shut up.”

But Toya could tell that he was smiling, even if he tried to hide it.

Akito looked down at the sword in his hand and then to the center of the room.

“I’ll try it out then. Since you went through all that trouble to get it”

Toya smiled in satisfaction and walked over to a corner where a cushioned seating area had been built. He will need a comfortable place to sit in when he’s watching Akito, no? So, he sat down, his gaze never leaving Akito.

Akito stepped into the middle of the room, the floor creaking beneath his feet. He took a deep breath and then closed his eyes.

Everything went still for a moment

And then he moved.

Toya’s teasing grin faded immediately. The air shifted, like the room itself was holding its breath.

He had seen Akito fight before – the one time where Akito trained in the fields in front of Toya’s residence – but now that he was able to see it better, it felt completely different. In this moment, Toya felt like he wasn’t even there.

It’s just Akito and the sword.

Watching him was suffocating…but not in the way that made him want to look away.

No…it was the kind of pressure that wrapped around his chest and held him there, locked in place. His breath slowed, heartbeat just a bit louder in his ears.

Akito’s expression was relaxed but Toya could tell that Akito was happy at the moment. Toya leaned forward to observe him even better than before. And he only had one thing in mind.

I want to protect this. Whatever it takes…I may not have the freedom I desire but ill grant him his…

After what felt like eternity, Akito came to an halt and opened his eyes, the spark in his eyes brighter than before he closed it. Toya had been so consumed that he didn’t stop staring at him even when Akito stopped and turned around to face him.

“You tend to stare quite a lot, you know that?”

Only then did Toya snap out of his trance. He blinked and then smiled. “Can you blame me?”

Akito rolled his eyes and then walked over to the sword rack, carefully placing the sword back where it belonged.

“But it felt refreshing, if you can say it like that.” He smiled down at the swords that he just placed down and then turned around to look at Toya with a grateful smile on his face. “Thank you…”

Toya raised his eyebrows and when he heard Akito express his gratitude with that smile on his face, he closed his eyes and groaned while leaning back against the wall. Akito tilted his head in confusion. The bluenette opened his eyes again and looked over to him. “I don’t know what this feeling is but I’m second away from pouncing on you because you’re so adorable…”

“…oh my god”

Toya laughed at his own comment and then stood up, rubbing his temple. “I’ll leave you be. I fear that if I watch you train any longer, I won’t be able to hold myself back”

.

.

.

The sound of metal being filed echoed through the gingers new workshop. The scent was more pleasant, and Akito found himself enjoying the new workplace more than the old one. Obviously…even he doesn’t want to admit it but he quite liked the change of environment and not only was he provided a proper sleeping place but the conditions that he’s working under are better than before.

Toya even went as far as sending money and food to Ena since Akito wasn’t living with her anymore and that would mean that she’d bring in less money than before.

“Why is he doing all this…?”

Akito mumbled under his breath while continuing with the polishing.

No matter how much he tried to deny it, there has to be something that Toya wants from him. No one would do so much for someone, especially for Akito, and then not demand anything in return. What does Toya get out of helping him? What is Akito able to give him back?

And usually, Akito is able to read others like an open book. Their personality, their positions and their intentions. But Toya is such a…complex person in his eyes. He does things for Akito with the same, gentle smile on his face with no thoughts in the world but what if he’s hiding his true intentions behind a mask? What if he’s trying to get him to put his guard down and then attack his weakest points? Use him?

There has to be a reason…there is a reason for everything…

“Did you actually think that I’d give you all of this without a payment? Akito, you have to pay up or everything you just received from me…oh you don’t have anything? Well, that’s too bad…”

Akito tensed at a memory from his younger years, and the little distraction was enough to make him slip, cutting into his hand with the sharpened blade.

Akito hissed.

Blood welled up from a long gash across his palm, a concerning amount of blood escaping the wound.

“Fuck…” he muttered, grabbing the nearest cloth and pressing it to the wound. The sting only deepened as he tightened the makeshift wrap. There were no proper bandages here, and the last thing he wanted was to cause a scene or get scolded for being careless.

He was just about to knot the cloth when the door creaked open.

“Hello there Akito-ssi…” ah. It was still a little unusual to hear others call him Akito-ssi but since he is technically Toys teacher, the others that work in the residence call him -ssi instead of just Akito.

He throws on a polite smile and looks up to her. “Oh, hello Yo-kyung…uh do you need anything? I’m kind of busy so…”

“Of course, Toya-nim was wondering if you-“

She stopped talking when she spotted the blood on his hand. The red had soaked halfway up the cloth.

“Oh heavens! That’s a serious cut—what happened?!” she asked hectically while approaching him.

“It’s nothing,” Akito said, a little uncomfortable because she was being so pushy out of the blue. “It’s just a scratch-“

“‘Just a scratch’? It’s bleeding through the cloth!” the maid exclaimed, already reaching for him. “We need to get this treated—now. You need those hands. You can’t let it get infected!”

She had already grabbed his arm and was dragging him out of the workshop and he had no choice but to follow her.

Toya won’t be too pleased with this…

.

The aristocrat sat cross-legged in the pavilion, reading a book while smoking on his long pipe. The weather was quite nice, and he felt like reading something. But he wasn’t able to read for too long because quick and loud footsteps caught his attention instead.

The servant he had sent to Akito minutes ago returned but her footsteps weren’t as quite as always but rather urgent. To his surprise, she was dragging Akito along beside her.

Toya stood up, already sensing something was wrong.

“What happened?” he asked, stepping forward.

Before Akito could open his mouth, the maid held up his arm, revealing the blood-soaked cloth around his hand.

“He cut himself,” she said, out of breath. “Badly. He was trying to wrap it in scraps like it was nothing!”

Toya looked down at the shabby cloth and let out a sigh before he looked back at the maid. “Go get what we need to treat it,” he said calmly. The maid nodded and hurried off.

Now the two of them were alone and Akito looked away, clearly uncomfortable. Toya sensed that, so he didn’t speak but instead, he walked over and  sat down on the low steps of the pavilion and patted the space next to him. Reluctantly, Akito sat down with him.

Without asking, Toya took the injured hand gently in his and unwrapped the makeshift cloth slowly. The cut was deep and the area around the wound was slightly swollen.

Still, he said nothing.

Akito observed Toya’s expression for a moment before he lowered his gaze. “…I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I wasn’t paying much attention. I’ll be more careful in the future since I don’t want to cause a stir like this.”

Toya let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His thumb brushed just below the wound, and though the touch was light, it send a strange jolt though Akito’s chest. Not from pain, but from something else entirely.

“You didn’t cause a stir,” Toya finally said, “You scared me. You should never treat a wound such as this one the way you did. Not only would the wound get infected, but you wouldn’t necessarily stop the bleeding. If you have any concerns, just come to me and tell me. I know that despite everything, you still don’t trust me, but I want you to feel more comfortable around me. Makes me feel less shitty as well.”

Before Akito could answer the maid returned with everything that Toya had asked for.

“I bought what you asked for, Toya-nim,” she said, setting everything neatly beside him.

“Good,” Toya replied, not taking his eyes off Akito. “Leave it here. I’ll take care of it”

“But-“

“I’ll take care of it,” he repeated, this time firmer.

The maid had no choice but to nod and hand over everything that she had bought. Toya took it off her hands and placed it down next to him. He picked out the cloth and dipped it into the cool water and wrung it out. Then, he began to clean the wound and everything around it as well.

After he was done cleaning the area he reached for the jar of herbal paste and began applying it and Akito couldn’t help but watch his face.

The way his lips pressed slightly together in concentration, how a strand of his hair had fallen forward…

“Have you done this before?” Akito asked.

Toya gave a small nod. “One of our servants had a girl that had to stay here while she worked. We usually didn’t allow it, but she had been working for us for years, so we made an exception. That girl ran around all day and often fell down and scraped her knee or her arm. I noticed it one day and she asked me to help her since she didn’t want the other servants to get angry at her, so I agreed. Ever since then, she came to me at least once every two days with new wounds that needed treatment.”

Akito chuckled, the imagine of a younger Toya tending to a small girls wound in his head. It was quite wholesome. Toya looked up to the ginger and couldn’t help but lightly laugh as well. He didn’t know why Akito was so amused, but Akito’s smile made him smile too.

If Akito was happy, so was he.

.

.

.

Summer just arrived.

The weather was nice, and everyone was enjoying the pleasing atmosphere and the season. Especially Toya, who was currently walking to his ‘favorite spot’ with Akito. But he wanted to surprise Akito, so he didn’t tell him where or what it is.

“Can you at least tell me something?? Anything???” Akito asked, grumbling as he followed behind.

Toya didn’t answer right away. His hands were tucked behind his back as he walked ahead, the sunlight caught in the folds of his robe, casting gold along the edges of his figure. His hair was tied loosely today, a few strands swaying with the wind. Summer had a way of softening his features…or maybe that was just Akito’s imagination.

“You ask too many questions,” Toya finally said with a grin over his shoulder. “Where’s the fun in surprises if you keep ruining them?”

Akito rolled his eyes and walked a bit faster to catch up with Toya who was walking much faster than he was. “You said you’re going to your ‘favorite spot’ and that I should accompany you. The least you could do is tell me where we are going…”

“You’ll see. It’s not that far.”

Toya actually found it cute how Akito was trying to figure out where they were going and how impatient he was. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked up to the sky, enjoying the weather and the others company.

Akito had finally caught up with Toya and looked over at him. He seemed more at ease now. The last weeks, he had been stressed because his father had started to push him more and more with an arranged marriage. It still wasn’t set but Toya didn’t plan on going through with it anytime soon. That’s what he told Akito at least.

While Akito was deep in thought, thinking about Toya, that said person suddenly stopped and approached a set of trees. He pushed aside a curtain of branches, monitoring Akito to follow and then stepped inside.

Akito quickly followed and what opened before him made his breath catch.

It was a lake, still and clear as glass. It shimmered in the sun, framed by wild greenery and flowering reeds. The surface mirrored the sky above so perfectly that it looked like the world had split open to hold another one below.

As Akito admired the scenery, Toya turned around and had a peaceful smile at his lips. “I used to come here when things at the residence got hectic. I liked being alone, away from all the expectations and duties. It’s like a hiding place for me.” He paused. “But I never bought anyone else here”

Akito turned his head towards Toya. “Why not?”

Toya walked over to the large three next to the lake and sat down in its shadow, dipping his fingers into the cold water.

“Privacy was something that I rarely had. This was the only place where I felt safe. So, I was anxious about letting anyone see it, scared that they might invade my privacy. Guess I don’t mind when it’s you.”

Toya was genuinely happy. The ginger could see it in his gaze and because of his smile. He couldn’t help but smile while looking away. Toya would just tease him if he saw that flustered expression on his face.

He walked up to the lake and looked down at his reflection in the water. He didn’t think much before he stepped back and started to take off his shirt.

Toya turned around, surprised. “Wait- what are you doing?”

“Me? I’m getting in”

Toya laughed. “Now?”

“What do you think? It’s summer, isn’t it?” He muttered, folding his shirt and tossing it onto the grass, the rest of his clothes quickly following. “It’s warm and I want to cool off”

That made the other stay quiet as he just looked over at him. He had always admired Akito’s body, especially his back. And for some reason, he feels more drawn to the ginger today than usual. Maybe it was the way the sun caught all the details on his body – from the freckles to the scars that covered his body.

Gods above…he’s so beautiful...

Toya remained close to the shore while Akito slowly stepped into the water, wading in slowly. The moment it reached his waist, he let out a satisfied breath.

“Hah…this is perfect…”

He dipped his whole body into the water, and when he came back up, he looked happier than ever.

Toya sat at the edge, propped up by one arm, just watching him.

Akito pushed his wet hair out of his face and then turned around to face Toya. “Are you coming in?” Akito called.

Toya smiled and shook his head and leaned back on his elbows. “I’m good. I’ll enjoy the view from here”

Akito rolled his eyes, but a fain grin tugged at his lips anyway.

“Stay under the shadow. Seems like the sun hurt you head”

.

.

.

By now, the air was thick with the scent of wildflowers and the nature that surrounded the lake in general. Toya sat against the large tree right by the shore of the lake, his legs stretched out and a book opened in his hands. He hadn’t turned the page in a while.

Not too far away from him, Akito was still in the lake, swimming in either lines or circles and occasionally diving beneath the surface. His orange hair was slicked back because of the water.

Toya unintentionally lowered the book in his hand, more interested in something else right now.

He looks happy. That thought came and settled deep and Toya felt it warm somewhere behind his ribs.

Akito stopped and turned around, looking at Toya. He sat under that tree the whole time and Akito was getting bored by now. They came here together, didn’t they? He swam right up to the edge, where the water met the stone and placed his arms up on the flat rock near where Toya was sitting.

“You’ve just been lying there like a lazy cat for the past hour,” Akito said in a somewhat disappointed tone. “Aren’t you hot?”

Toya smirked and turned a page he hadn’t read. “I’m in the shade. You’re the one boiling in that lake”

Akito rolled his eyes. “Come in”

“No”

The ginger shifted his arms, resting his chin on them as he looked up at Toya. “It’s summer. You’ll regret it if you don’t. The temperature of the water is amazing and really relaxing. And besides…you brought me here and then leave me all alone while reading that book”

“I’m not getting my clothes soaked just because you want company”

“Then take them off,” Akito said flatly.

The other couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “Bold.”

Akito shrugged, water still dripping from his hair and his body. “You’re the one hiding in the shadows like an old man”

Toya sighed, shutting his book. Then, with a slow, exaggerated motion, he rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Akito. Their faces were closer now.

“I think you just want to see me wet,” Toya teased, a lazy smirk forming.

Akito didn’t flinch. “Maybe.”

Toya blinked. That definitely caught him off guard. Usually, Akito would roll his eyes and ignore his teasing but now he’s talking back on it without even thinking twice?

A smile formed on Akito’s face. “You’re always teasing, but the second someone calls your bluff, you get flustered”

“I am not flustered,” Toya muttered, the light pink color on his cheeks betraying him.

“Oh yeah? Doesn’t seem like that to me…” The ginger said, his tone lower than before.

Their faces were only a breath apart. The sun lit Akito’s eyes like polished jade and Toya could see droplets still dripping from his lashes. Time stood still… and Toya’s heart stammered against his chest for some silly reason.

His eyes flickered from Akito’s eyes to his lips which were slightly blue due to the cold water that he swam in for the last hour or so. When he looked back up to his eyes, he found the other one looking at him intensely. And then, without another word, he closed the space between them.

The kiss started surprisingly gently. Akito didn’t move at first and let Toya lean in first. Toya carefully pressed his lips against the cold ones, quickly changing the temperature.

The kiss didn’t stay gentle though.

When Akito finally moved, it was to fist Toya’s collar with one hand. He tugged him closer with a sharp pull, deepening the kiss. The startled breath that escaped Toya was quickly swallowed by the next press of lips. The kiss was hungrier now, deeper. Toya couldn’t help but groan into it, his hand sliding up into Akito’s wet hair, fingers tangling though the orange strands.

As if the kiss wasn’t deep enough, Akito tilted his head to deepen it more and Toya met him eagerly. Toya shifted his hand from Akito’s hair to the back of his neck, fingers pressing against the sun kissed skin. Akito’s tongue slid across his lower lip, and Toya let him in without a thought in the world.

Toya was so deep into the kiss that he barely noticed when Akito slowly pulled away, just enough to whisper against Toya’s lips.

“Gotcha.”

What?

Toya was barely able to process the words when Akito tightened his grip on the clothes and yanked him forward, right into the lake. Toya hit the water with a loud splash and surfaced with a gasp. His hair was plastered to his face and his now his soaked clothes were clinging onto his skin. He quickly looked around and spotted Akito with a pleased smile on his face.

“You-!” he sputtered, but Akito was already laughing. His laugh was bright and full, the sound echoing across the water like something wild and free. So obviously, Toya’s glare didn’t last long.

When the ginger was done laughing, he swam towards Toya, dipped down and caught Toya beneath the thighs, lifting him up from where he was.

Toya was immediately caught off guard and instinctively wrapped his arms around the others neck for balance. Even now, Akito had a smug smile on his face as he looked up at Toya.

“Jeez Toya, you had the chance to take your clothes off. Now you and your clothes are soaked.” He teased, grinning up at him. Their bodies were pressed together, soaked fabric clinging to flushed skin.

Toya wanted to stay mad at him but how could he possibly do that when he looked up at him like that? He rested his forehead against Akito’s and closed his eyes.

“I really hate how much I like you right now,” he whispered. He didn’t give Akito the time to talk more. He cupped the gingers cheeks and tilted his head up and leaned down, kissing him again. Akito held Toya effortlessly, his arms hooked beneath his thighs.

Though Toya was the one who had started the kiss again, he felt a different hunger in the way Akito kissed him. He felt it in the way Akito’s grip tightened, in how his movements grew less teasing and more…desperate.

Toya pulled back from the kiss to catch his breath and Akito practically followed him in his movements. He couldn’t help but laugh at the others unusual but somewhat cute behavior. “What got you so worked up today? You’re not usually this straight forward.”

Akito looked up at him as he laughed but didn’t respond right away. Instead, he dipped his head lower and pressed a kiss beneath Toya’s jaw. Then another, and another, trailing down towards the base of his neck. His lips were soft and the kissed felt warmer than the sun that was currently shining down on them.

Unlike his kissing before, those small kisses were gentle, and it drove Toya crazy to see him like this. While his kisses were gentle, his touch became bolder, one hand traveling beneath Toya’s clothes and alongside his lower back.

Toya swallowed hard.

Usually, he was the one who took the lead, but this time, it was Akito.

“Akito,” he said, a warning in his tone, though it faltered as Akito grazed his lips along the hollow of his throat. “What… are you doing?”

The ginger looked back up at him, thinking for a moment before he let out a frustrated sigh and buried his head in his partner’s neck. “I don’t know…” he mumbled, one hand still gently caressing the skin on Toya’s back with the other held him up. “I want to do it this time…just this once”

There was nothing demanding in his tone, not begging Toya or trying to convince him. He still sounded unsure and maybe even…scared. What if that turned his partner off? Or made things awkward?

Toya saw right through him.

Goodness…who allowed you to be so adorable?

When Toya didn’t answer, Akito found the courage to look him back into the eyes to read his expression instead. “I won’t…if you don’t want to”

“Okay” he said in a simple tone. How could anyone say no to this? “Just…be gentle”

Akito’s breath hitched, and he didn’t waste another second before he leaned back in, kissing him again.

They’ll be back at the residence later than expected.

.

.

.

“It won’t take long before your clothes dry. Since we took them off while you were in the water and placed them on the rock, they already dried for a bit.” Akito said while hanging up Toya’s halfway-dry clothes one of the thicker branches of the tree. In the meantime, Toya sat on one of the stones by the shore with Akito’s shirt laid out beneath him since the stone was pretty warm.

“Of course, you had to pull me into the water with my clothes on…”

The ginger was facing him with his back and couldn’t help but laugh. “Well? I warned you and you didn’t take me seriously. This is what you get”

Toya rolled his eyes and then looked over to Akito. He was wringing out the remaining water in his clothes and fixing some things on them. The view isn’t that bad…

His eyes then fell back on the scars on his back. He didn’t ask Akito about them up until now, but he felt like they reached a point in their relationship where he was allowed to ask.

“Akito”

“Hm?”

“The scars on your upper body. You never told me how you got them”

Akito froze from the sentence. It wasn’t a question. Toya just stated what he had noticed but he was right. He never told him. Even after all this time…

“Yeah…it’s a long story”

“My clothes will take a while until they’re fully dry.”

“Right…”

Toya noticed the hesitation in his voice. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I’m not forcing you. I just want to know more about you”

“Fine…you deserve to know. I’ll tell you. When I was 14…”

.

.

.

Some years ago, in a small village

“Akito, me and Ena have to go to another village. It might take a few days until we are back. You will manage right?” Shinei said while helping Ena pack the stuff that they needed to transport.

“I will! You don’t have to worry about me” the young boy said, pride gleaming in his eyes. He had to clean the house, cook for himself, decide by himself what needed to be done…he was making the adult decisions already!

“That’s good to hear. Oh, and by the way-“ Shinei walked back to his workshop and retrieved a sword delivery. “I don’t have the time to bring this over to the Gangjeon residence. Could you do that while we are gone? They’ll be mad if it’s not there in time”

“Sure! Consider it done.”

“Hah... dad we should get going now. We won’t make it to the next village by midnight if we leave any later now.”

“Okay then, stay safe Akito.”

Akito stood by the door and watched as Ena and his father started their way to one of the bigger villages. Anyway…

The young boy walked back into the house and grabbed the bag with the swords. He should get this done and then head back home and decide what to eat. So, he put on his shoes, threw the bag over his shoulder and made his way to the Gangjeon residence. The closer he got, the bigger the houses got. After all, the Gangjeon family is reaaaally rich. He was kind of nervous to step foot in there.

He arrived at the entrance and spotted a well-dressed man speaking to another more serious looking man. When Akito approached the two, they stopped their conversation and looked down at him.

“Uhm…excuse me. I’m Shinonome Akito, Shinonome Shinei’s son. My father had a request from this residence and I’m here to deliver the requested swords. Whom can I hand them to?”

The well-dressed man looked down at the boy and seemed confused. Not only was he taken aback by the boy’s hair color but also by the eyes. He had never come across a commoner who had such rare and striking featured and for some reason, he felt offended. But his face didn’t show. He instead cleared his throat and looked down at him again.

“Yes, I made the request. I still need to pay you, no? Come inside”

Akito was unsure if he should follow him, but he didn’t think much about it. The man seemed nice, and he would just take the money and go.

He followed the man inside, in awe by the beautiful architecture of the house and all the nature that surrounded it. He never got the chance to enter one of these and it’s as breathtaking as he had imagined. Oh, he’s so going to brag about this when Ena returns.

They finally entered the house itself and walked down some really long halls, turning left and right. It’s practically like a maze in her…

“Here we are.” The man exclaimed and slid the door open to a room with a desk in the middle and an empty sword rack hanging on the wall. Akito entered behind the man and closed the door. Even though it was an practically empty room, it was bigger than father’s workshop alone…

“Well? I want to see the swords first before I pay you. Lay them out on the table” the man suddenly said and walked around the table, sitting down as he starred up at Akito, waiting for him to do as he was told. Of course, Akito nodded and stepped to the table, unfolding the big cloth that held the swords and then laid them out on the table. Three beautifully crafted swords laid between the two of them, one with a red blade, one with a silver one and the other with a black one. Akito was always proud of his father’s work. If he practices further, he’ll surely be as good as his father one day.

As he awaited the man’s next words, the door behind him was pushed open and someone ran into the room.

“Father are those the swords? I want to see!” A boy exclaimed with excitement, rushing up to his father. He looked down at the swords and was obviously happy with how they came out. “They look awesome...” he whispered before he looked up at Akito.

If there was one thing that Akito noticed, it was that they all had the tendency to stare when they first saw him. Did he have something on his face?

“Wow…what’s up with your hair?” the boy asked in a really confused tone. Akito didn’t really understand what he meant by that.

“Uhh…what? They’re orange.”

“Yeah, I got that but…why? Why does someone like you look like that?”

Now he was really confused. What should he even say to that?

“Someone like me...?” he repeated, the confusion evident in his voice.

“You’re a commoner, right?” he boy asked and crossed his arms, trying to present pride and power but his stance was indecisive now and his voice was a bit shaky, which his father had noticed. “Y-You look like you’re from a noble family. I mean—your face, your hair, your eyes... That’s not fair.”

“Junha,” the father said suddenly. “That’s enough”

Junha, his son, flinched and stepped back, tilting his head down. His father looked between the two. Even though Akito was confused, in the man’s eyes, he looked like he knew damn well what he was doing. That innocent look on his face, the polite stance, even his striking hair was tied in an almost perfect bun. Now only did he have such a rare kind of hair, but he dared to keep his hair long…

“You do carry yourself rather proudly, don’t you?” he asked but it didn’t sound like a question, more like an observation. “Most commoners wouldn’t even dare to step inside but when I told you to, you did it without any further questions. Do you think that highly of yourself?”

Akito was taken aback by the sudden accusation. He just wanted to get the money and leave. “No, sir, you got that wrong I-“

“Oh? So now you know better than me” his voice got louder, and Akito got a really bad feeling about this. When the man stood up and circled around the table, Akito wanted to explain that he didn’t mean to offend him, but he was cut off by a hard slap. He stumbled back and had to process what just happened, while pain bloomed in his cheek.

“You commoners have such strange habits.” He started as he picked up one of the swords and examined the blade. “Your kind is supposed to lower your head, deliver your goods, and leave. Yet here you are…”

Absolutely not. He needs to leave. He turned around and wanted to walk out of there, but someone had entered the room. He was tall and rather big. Akito won’t be able to get past him. He took a step back and then turned around to face the man and his son again.

“You see, before I give you the pay for those swords, I need to test the quality” he said in a rather deep tone and Akito felt the other man grip his arm from behind, locking him in place. “But I don’t have anything to test it on…no animals nears us…but hey…” he then looked up, locking eyes with Akito. It was the first time in his life that he felt his blood run cold. “Why bother arranging an animal when you’re right there?”

 

Silence

 

What happened after that was all a blur in the boy’s memory. He just remembered the utter despair he felt when the taller and bigger man pressed him down on the floor while the blade of the sword slowly traveled over his back and then his chest, carving a deep scar on its way. He didn’t remember much of what was said but the wicked expressions of the man and also his son were burned in his memory.

It didn’t really take long but it felt like an eternity for Akito and even after the man was done, he could barely lift a finger as he laid on a floor, starring up at the ceiling through tear-filled eyes.

He heard the man tell his son that he should go now since it was almost time for dinner and that in the most casual tone. The son agreed and then headed out of the room, leaving only Akito and him there.

“Let me tell you something,” the man started as he carefully cleaned the blood off the sword with a towel. He placed the sword back on the table and then walked over to Akito, looking down at him.

“People love rare gems, the eye-catching ones that everyone wants to have. But as soon as that gem has even the tiniest scratch, it becomes worthless. No matter how rare and beautiful it may have been, it loses its worth completely if it’s imperfect. Those wounds of yours will scar and remind you everyday of who you are. Just a commoner who didn’t understand his goddamn place.”

Those words just made the pain in Akito’s whole body worse. He didn’t understand what he said or did that upset the man. He just wanted to deliver the swords, take the payment and then leave…how did it come to this?

“Anyway, my family is going to eat anytime soon and I can’t waste any more time on you. The coins are on the table, the sword was good. Tell your father that I was pleased with his work. Make sure to get out of here as soon as your able to move again.”

.

.

.

“After that I rushed out of the residence as fast I could without looking back. I just- wanted to get out of there. And I barely managed to do anything before Ena and my father came back. My father never found out what happened. Ena walked in on me once when I was changing and saw the scars so she immediately demanded an explanation. So…you and Ena are the only ones who know what happened…”

Akito finished explaining the story about his scars after an hour or so and the sun had already started its descent.

Toya needed a moment to process everything that he was just told. He knew that the story behind his scars was sad, but this caused a pain in his chest that was ten times worse than he had ever imagined.

All that he could picture was a young Akito, covered in blood and crying on the floor because of what some asshole though about his looks? Because of envy?

He looked down and opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so he closed his mouth again, collecting his thoughts instead. He then looked over at Akito who sat there, patiently waiting for him to say something. But when he realized that Toya didn’t know where to start, he started instead.

“I didn’t tell you so that you’d feel bad for me or anything…I just- as I said, you deserved to know…that’s why I told you.”

Toya didn’t speak right away. He couldn’t. His throat was tight, his hands clenched on his knees. And gods, his heart…

His heart was breaking.

Not just because of what had been done to Akito, but because of how long he must have carried it. Was he ashamed of what had happened? Did he think that people would look at him differently if they knew?

“Akito I…” Toya’s voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper. “I feel furious”

Toya met his gaze and there was no softness in his expression, just confusion and anger.

“I want to find that bastard. I want to rip him to shreds with my bare hands and-“ He stopped, breathing hard. His fists trembled but after one long breath he calmed down a bit and his expression softened- just slightly though.

“But more than anything…” he continued, “I want to tell that boy- lying on that floor, bleeding and terrified… that whatever that bastard said is far from the truth. That that boy is the strongest person I’ve ever met. That those scars don’t ruin him but instead just show just how brave he is…”

Toya now looked down again, gently taking Akito’s hand in his. Carefully, he intertwined their fingers and brought their joined hands to his lips.

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” Toya said against his knuckles. “You carry so much… and you still walk like nothing’s heavy. I admire you...”

After he was done talking, he pulled the ginger into a hug, not sure if it was meant to be a comforting one or a protective one. Whichever it is, Akito felt happy.

Toya let go of his hand and instead brought it up to brush Akito’s damp hair from his temple. “Ill never let anyone hurt you like that again,” he murmured. “Never again…I promise you that”

Akito closed his eyes, tightening the hug.

“…I know,” he whispered.

“Thank you”

Notes:

So...whos comming with me to beat that man up? WE ALL ARE? ALRIGHT LETS FUCKING GO- okay okay that aside.

I cant say when the next chapter will drop cus i have a really bad writers block right now but knowing whats comming next...im a little exited to write it and shatter some hearts. I love doomed yaoi yaal so dont expect anything good. Enjoy the happiness that you have before chapter three drops...heheheh...ghahahaha. (im going crazy its 2 am right now how am I even typing?)

Notes:

YAYAYAY That was the first of three chapters (thats my cap at least) and i really hope you liked it. Feel free to leave Kudos and comments, i always love em and they keep me motivated. Ill try my best to update this in a week but i cant promise anything (max in two weeks. If not then im sorry, its exam season in germany so >-<

See yaal in the next chapter!!!