Chapter Text
“There’s a dead demon on your doorstep.”
There’s always a dead demon on Shen Qingqiu’s doorstep. The question is no longer why is there a dead demon on Shen Qingqiu’s doorstep–Liu Qingge is why. Him and his cat-like tendencies, stalking in and out of the Bamboo House whenever he pleases, dropping off decapitated gifts as a show of affection. Platonic, brotherly, straight affection. Obviously. At least, Shen Qingqiu hopes it’s a sign of affection. And not a threat of some kind. It can be hard to tell with Liu Qingge.
No, the question has become what dead demon is on Shen Qingqiu’s doorstep. And today, it is one that not even Liu Qingge recognizes.
Shen Qingqiu takes a moment to excuse himself from the private lesson his dear Shidi decided to interrupt.
Ning Yingying, guqin in lap, is not nearly as pleased to see her martial uncle as Shen Qingqiu is.
The girl’s scathing glare almost convinces Liu Qingge that she should be studying on his peak instead. Ferocious thing. And Liu Qingge thought the other one was bad. Luo Binghe–rest his soul, or whatever–made for quite the audacious seventeen year old. But as of late, (i.e ever since Liu Qingge embarked on his most challenging quest yet: pursuing Shen Qingqiu) it would appear Luo Binghe’s streak of protectiveness did not, in fact, die with him. Instead it reincarnated into the spirits of every last one of Shen Qingqiu’s disciples. Liu Qingge must prepare for war the moment he sets foot on Qing Jing Peak. He’s busy enough as it is, beating his own disciples to a pulp, and now he must do it to Shen Qingqiu’s as well?
“Ning Yingying was playing so well, do keep practicing. This one must go see what your Liu-shishu is making such a fuss over.” Shen Qingqiu, with his back turned, doesn’t see the strangling motion Ning Yingying performs on herself in warning to Liu Qingge.
How vulgar. Liu Qingge thought this was supposed to be a scholarly peak?
“I don’t fuss.” Liu Qingge sends a flick of qi to unravel one of the citrus orange ribbons tied in the young girl’s hair. A harmless attack, but one would not think so given the way Ning Yingying positively shrieks. Shen Qingqiu whirls around, giving Liu Qingge ample time to sneak in another thread of qi. This time to the guqin in Ning Yingying’s lap. A string snaps. Then three.
“You should go get that fixed,” Liu Qingge says and Shen Qingqiu quietly agrees.
Ning Yingying, with half her hair falling in her face, thanks them for the advice and scurries out of the Bamboo House. Not without knocking Liu Qingge’s shoulder with her ruined instrument on the way out.
Liu Qingge scoffs. He remembers a time when being a Shishu meant he was respected.
“Let’s see what it is now, Liu-shidi.” Shen Qingqiu is notably unphased by his disciple’s bizarre behavior. Which leads Liu Qingge to believe that no one on this peak behaves as they should. That would explain the ambushes.
They make for the front porch. It’s not a race, but Liu Qingge makes it one in his effort to reach the door first and hold it open for Shen Qingqiu. Like he was told to.
“You must be chivalrous.”
Liu Qingge’s impatience has him snatching the pile of papers from his sister’s desk before the ink has time to dry. It’s more of a pamphlet than the simple list he was promised. And a thick one at that. With attached illustrations.
The official guide to courting Shen Qingqiu. Liu Mingyan had outright guaranteed its effectiveness. Liu Qingge questions Qi Qingqi’s methods of teaching if Xian Shu’s head disciple has time to write out all this nonsense. But it’s nonsense he begged for so Liu Qingge drops into the empty spot next to his sister and tackles the reading head-on. The answer, the key, to unlocking Shen Qingqiu’s affections–it’s here somewhere. Hidden among these countless pages. Waiting for discovery.
Liu Qingge doesn’t like what he finds.
“Cook for him, clean for him, bring him gifts–this is everything that Luo brat did for Shen Qingqiu?”
“I know,” Liu Mingyan says with the type of seriousness that she usually reserves for demon slaying. “That’s why you’re falling behind.”
Shen Qingqiu did give that pipsqueak a baffling amount of attention. Liu Mingyan might be onto something here. Liu Qingge continues.
“Slam him against the wall and push your knee between his legs. Use your tongue to–Mingyan!”
“Apologies, ge. That was for, ahem, another project.” Liu Mingyan coughs into her curled fist and rips that page clean from the pamphlet. And its accompanying illustration. Wait. Was that Shen Qingqiu in the drawing? Who was the partner with him? Liu Qingge doesn’t have curly hair–
Shen Qingqiu hasn’t had to touch a door handle for the past six months. Between that, the demon carcasses, and the dinner Liu Qingge prepared that finally didn’t make Shen Qingqiu sick afterwards, Liu Qingge would say they’re well on their way to an engagement. Any day now, really. He just needs to find a way to get into the Bamboo House and clean it before Ming Fan has a chance. Maybe get his disciples to sweep the whole peak. Liu Mingyan didn’t indicate how much cleaning was needed in order to woo Shen Qingqiu. He’ll just clean everything to be safe.
The two stop and stare at the bloody mess on Shen Qingqiu’s porch together. Maybe Liu Qingge could start with cleaning that.
“This is not your handiwork?” Shen Qingqiu crouches into a pile of green and white robes, smacking at Liu Qingge’s leg when the brute nudges the poor bloody creature with the tip of his boot. The Fury Falcon, which Shen Qingqiu and his vast knowledge as an official PIDW hater has already identified, gives a pathetic blep.
“It’s still alive!”
“Not my handiwork then.” Liu Qingge draws his sword. If someone out there has the gall to try and to challenge his courtship with bigger and better demon offerings, they should make sure they’re dead first. Amateurs.
Shen Qingqiu bats at his leg again. “Leave it be. They’ve made a long journey.”
“From where?” Liu Qingge is trying his best not to get distracted by the way Shen Qingqiu rests his fan against his pouting lips, eyes welling with a sympathy this rotting lump of feathers doesn’t deserve. It’s just a bird.
A bird that is not nearly as wounded as it’s pretending to be. The damn thing chirps a happy little song and nuzzles into Shen Qingqiu’s chest the moment it’s picked up. Luo Binghe used to do the same thing. Sudden ailments always seemed to befall him and his ‘poor, developing cultivator’s constitution’ whenever Liu Qingge would make an appearance in the Bamboo House. The kind of sudden ailments that needed his shizun’s full attention. Liu Qingge used to be sent out the door, or worse, demoted to household servant as he was made to fetch food or medicine. All while Luo Binghe sat content as a cat in Shen Qingqiu’s arms.
Shen Qingqiu runs his fingers over the bird’s shining feathers. Red, orange, and yellow. Bits of blue and purple around the extremities. Like a summer’s sunset. “This particular species originates from the Endless Abyss,” he says. A fascinating find indeed! Shang Qinghua can’t write romance for shit, but he knows his way around a good demon design. The Fury Falcon is no exception.
“Shizun, how did it end up here?” Ming Fan pops his head out from the nearest window. He’s supposed to be tidying Shen Qingqiu’s office right now. Sneaky little thing. He ought to be grounded for the rest of the day. At least whenever Binghe eavesdropped on his and Liu Qingge’s conversations, he had the decency to stay hidden.
Regrettably though, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t have an answer for Ming Fan. The one they really should be picking the brain of is Shang Qinghua. This is his wife plot bullshit.
The Fury Falcon is an especially rare demon capable of traversing between the Abyss and the two realms. A glamorized messenger bird really, one that Luo Binghe utilized to keep in touch with wife number thirty-three.
Number thirty-three. Where to begin? She was a demon princess Luo Binghe met and battled alongside in the Endless Abyss, sent to the burning hellscape as a rite of passage. To prove herself worthy of her father’s throne. A week in the Endless Abyss. Survival was the only requirement. A feat she was only able to accomplish with the ever so talented protagonist by her side. The two fell in love and indulged in a few boring chapters of papapa before the princess's father returned to the Abyss to retrieve her after the week's vacation was up.
He refused to bring Luo Binghe back to the surface with them. Heartbroken at their separation, the princess enlisted the help of a Fury Falcon to send messages to Luo Binghe. It equated to nothing more than long distance xianxia sexting. Some odd one hundred chapters later, Luo Binghe escaped the Endless Abyss and reunited with the princess, marrying her and thus inheriting her entire kingdom.
It was a mildly interesting anecdote in the stallion protagonist’s rise to power. Four years have passed since that fateful day at the Immortal Alliance Conference, so Luo Binghe is sure to have stumbled upon wife number thirty-three by now. Something unpleasant simmers in Shen Qingqiu’s chest at the thought. That woman better not have caused his Binghe so much trouble this time around! There were many cases in PIDW where Luo Binghe was severely injured protecting her from demons she could never hope to defeat. As if the poor boy wasn’t having a hard enough time down there on his own!
Shen Qingqiu can still quote the profanities he let loose on Airplane-bro in the comments over this arc. Why send a frail princess who’s never once held a sword in her life to be Binghe’s companion in the Abyss? Shen Qingqiu in his modern day, rich boy, non-cultivator body would’ve been more helpful than her!
‘Sorry bro ik you want to be down there with your precious Binghe but ur boobs aren’t big enough for the job’
That comment reply from Shang Qinghua wasn’t the thing that ended up killing Shen Yuan and sending him to the world of PIDW. But it was close.
The Fury Falcon trills happily when Shen Qingqiu scratches the soft spot under its beak. “I believe you’re in the wrong place, little one,” he chides. The scroll attached to the demon’s clawed foot is probably just another shitty poem describing the princess’s longing for the Heavenly Pillar. Luo Binghe is big, and skilled, and big, and slightly curved, and BIG–Shen Qingqiu read thousands upon thousands of chapters describing the exact same thing. He knows.
This poor demon must’ve just ended up on the wrong doorstep. Nevertheless, Shen Qingqiu will be a gracious host. Ignoring Liu Qingge’s complaints, he takes the bird inside and asks that Ming Fan bring him a bowl of water and a cloth. Once those are acquired, he gets to work cleaning the Fury Falcon of whatever gore it’s covered in, revealing more of its beautiful color palette with every wipe. A strip of gauze is wrapped around the cut Shen Qingqiu finds on its right wing. What a treacherous journey this darling baby has made! They deserve a nice break.
The Fury Falcon ends the night cozied up on one of Shen Qingqiu’s silk pillows, a bowl of fresh fruit at its side. Shen Qingqiu goes through the trouble of hand-feeding it every bite of its supper. If it didn’t already have an important duty in the PIDW story, Shen Qingqiu would have adopted the demon in a heartbeat. Surely he could give the Fury Falcon a better life here on Qing Jing Peak than it would have acting as the protagonist's glorified iphone.
Liu Qingge leaves only after confirming that the Fury Falcon won’t harm a hair on Shen Qingqiu’s head. Ning Yingying returns, but between her and Ming Fan, neither of them are able to coax the bird away from Shen Qingqiu’s side. They retire to the disciples' quarters utterly heartbroken.
“Picking favorites, hm?” Shen Qingqiu sighs as he tugs down whatever elaborate updo Ning Yingying twisted his hair into today. He sinks his comb into the inky strands, missing the days when Luo Binghe would jump at the opportunity to brush it for him. The press of his nails so gentle against Shen Qingqiu’s scalp, the small tune he’d hum as worked, their eyes catching every once in a while in the mirror. Binghe was always so shy in those moments, cheeks pink like a spring bud, lashes dipped towards the floor. His little lamb.
Shen Qingqiu pauses, eyes caught in his own reflection.
The only reason Luo Binghe would have to touch his hair now would be to use it to drag him towards his demise.
He drops the jade comb. The Fury Falcon squawks at the sudden noise.
“Sorry, sorry,” Shen Qingqiu mumbles. He shakily retrieves the comb, throwing it at his vanity and climbing into bed. Sheets pulled up over his face, he almost doesn’t notice when the Fury Falcon waddles over from the pillow and plants itself right on his chest.
“I’m fine,” he pulls the sheets away to show the demon just how fine he is. It blinks at him. Shen Qingqiu blinks back. Neither of them move.
Stubborn. Shen Qingqiu strokes its head fondly. “Go to sleep,” he orders. And it does, curled into a ball on his chest. A weight against his already heavy heart.
A weight that is somehow ten times worse when Shen Qingqiu stretches awake the next morning. Or tries to. It’s just that a pair of arms doing their best impression of a python makes it a bit difficult to move.
Hm. That’s new.
Shen Qingqiu does what anyone would do, and screams. His unwelcomed guest jolts awake.
The young man releases Shen Qingqiu rather easily. No fighting or threatening. He only yawns as Shen Qingqiu’s scrambles upright, scratching at some of the scarlet feathers lining his cheekbone. There’s tufts of blue and purple across his forearms and hands, oranges and yellows down his neck and chest. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t dare look further. There’s only the white sheets of Shen Qingqiu bedding to spare the man some modesty.
A naked man in his bed. Shen Qingqiu assesses the stranger again. Dark skin, wild hair, rounded, gemstone-bright eyes that smile up at him. A good looking, naked man in his bed. Well, it could be worse. It could be a woman.
“Good morning!” At least someone woke up in a good mood. Shen Qingqiu stares at the man incredulously. This is the part where the psycho starts explaining how he got past the Bamboo House’s protective barriers and into his bed of all places.
“Do I…know you?” Shen Qingqiu’s sleeping robe dips from his shoulder, the sash around his middle loosened and revealing a small slip of chest. He’s too shocked to notice. His new companion does however, launching himself forward to press his face directly into the milky, warm skin on display. His arms find Shen Qingqiu’s waist again, locking in place.
“You–!” Shen Qingqiu calls for Xiu Ya. The sword spirals out of its sheath, landing it his hand in the time it takes this pervert to snuggle further into his robes.
“Last night the kind master was much more obliging of this lowly one,” the man huffs, drawing his eyes back up to Shen Qingqiu. “Thank you for your help. This one is forever in your debt.” He lifts his arm. Shen Qingqiu recognizes the gauze he’d so carefully wrapped around it yesterday. Except yesterday it had been a wing. Because yesterday this man was a bird.
Killing postponed. Shen Qingqiu lowers his weapon. “This one was not aware that a Fury Falcon also possessed a human form.” Shang Qinghua was never compelled to share this particular detail of his story, apparently. Why is Shen Qingqiu surprised? Everything is always Airplane’s fault.
Calling it a human form is a bit of a stretch. Aside from the feathers left behind in the transformation, The Fury Flacon’s ears are a smidge too long, his nails a centimeter too sharp. He’s really not going to fool anyone like this. Especially not a cultivator.
The demon gives Shen Qingqiu a rackish, fanged smile. “This one thought this appearance would be more pleasing to the kind master.”
Pleasing? Sure, this human body is fit and full in all the right ways–
That’s besides the point! Shen Qingqiu had no qualms about his original form! In fact, he should go back to it, right this instance! Before these sheets fall off him any further!
“It is much simpler to communicate to the kind master in this state,” the Fury Falcon explains, finally extracting himself from Shen Qingqiu. He sits back on his knees, sheets clutched to his chest. “To save this one’s life; treating him, feeding him, housing him.” The demon drops into a kotow, right on the mattress. “Kind master, please allow this lowly one to serve you until the end of his days!”
Looks like Luo Binghe’s phone contract is about to be up. And that won’t do. How else will he communicate with wife number thirty-three? Shen Qingqiu can’t afford to derail the plot more than he already has. Especially when it comes to Luo Binghe’s wives. Ning Yingying has about as much romantic interest in Luo Binghe as she does with a brick wall. Which Shen Qingqiu finds so baffling. It’s Luo Binghe! Look at him! Even at seventeen he’d been just the most dashing young man…and Liu Mingyan! She’s just as bad. She only makes herself present when he and Binghe are enjoying a moment off the peak together, somehow always at the scene of the crime with a paper and brush and that strangely intense gaze of hers. And let’s not forget that Qin Wanrong was lost at the Immortal Alliance Conference. That’s already three wives out of the official running. No more! This universe calls for a harem and Shen Qingqiu is going to make sure it gets one!
“Surely a great demon such as yourself has a duty to carry out aside from being this one’s…” Shen Qingqiu fumbles for the right word. “Pet?” he tries.
“It would be an honor to be the kind master’s pet.”
Such devotion already! It must’ve been the hand-fed grapes.
But Shen Qingqiu has been a bit lonely these past few years without Luo Binghe waiting around every corner for him. He really did have the uncanny ability to be everywhere, all the time. Truly, there was nothing better than finishing a bath and turning to see Luo Binghe peeking out from behind the privacy screen, smiling and holding out a pile of towels he personally heated using a talisman. Or when Shen Qingqiu’s restless at night, tossing and turning well after the sun has set and suddenly spotting Luo Binghe on the other side of the room, standing and watching and–oh poor thing, you couldn’t sleep either? Come, come. Lay down, indulge this silly master of yours and listen to him talk for a bit. Just until he gets sleepy. What’s that? You want to sleep here tonight? You’ve been training all day and you're too tired to make it back to your own bed? Okay, you can stay. No need for tears…
Maybe a pet was just what Shen Qingqiu needed to fill the ever present vacancy Luo Binghe left behind.
“You may stay,” he tells the demon, to thunderous celebration. “But there’s no need to refer to me as kind master. This one simply goes by Shen Qingqiu.”
The Fury Falcon makes a poor attempt at a wink. “A-Qiu~”
Not what he said.
The bright, shock of red that is the Fury Falcon’s hair ripples with an invisible force. “This one is called Xiao Huo.” His handsome face slackens with realization. “Shen Qingqiu! You’re Shen Qingqiu!” he cries.
Yes, yes. That’s him. The scum villain. No need for hysterics.
Xiao Huo clumsily rips the scroll from his leg. He looks at it, then at Shen Qingqiu, then back to the scroll. “This one does not have a message for Shen Qingqiu, of Qing Jing Peak, of Cang Qiong Mountain.” He chucks the scroll as hard as he can, almost sending it through a window, and tries to return to snuggling.
“Hey! Let me see that!” Shen Qingqiu goes scrambling for the discarded message. His discarded message. There’s only one person in the Endless Abyss who would be able to recite that kind of information to Xiao Huo.
Knowing this, Shen Qingqiu tears open the scroll at once.
A ribbon, pressed and preserved in the safety of the parchment, slips out past Shen Qingqiu’s fingertips, fluttering down to his lap. It's a lovely shade of sage. From the ends hang two pearls to match the shimmering white embroidery along its length. Shen Qingqiu had commissioned a local craftsman to create it as a gift for Binghe. For his seventeenth birthday. Right before the Immortal Alliance Conference.
Luo Binghe was an absolute mess when he received it, stuck between staring teary eyed at his gift and staring teary eyed at his master. He managed to do both, switching back and forth while performing a near symphonic melody of ’Shizun!’ on repeat. How dramatic! Shen Qingqiu ate up every second of it.
He was given the esteemed honor of tying the ribbon into Luo Binghe’s hair. A subtle streak of green dancing between the thick forest of Luo Binghe’s curls. It suited him wonderfully. A piece of trash would suit him wonderfully, but even the protagonist deserves to be spoiled every once in awhile.
The ribbon is now but a fraction of its original beauty. Torn in some places, bloodied in others. One of the pearls is chipped, the other scorched black as though it were burned. A summary of Luo Binghe’s time in the Endless Abyss.
Shen Qingqiu almost doesn’t have it in him to read the message. But he owes Binghe that much.
In the end, there is not much to read at all. Two words, written in a messy, red scrawl. Blood as his ink. His fingers, the brush.
Shizun, it reads.
Help.
Shen Qingqiu’s heart plummets. This isn’t a threat or a curse to his name. It’s worse.
It’s a distress signal.
Something’s gone wrong in the Endless Abyss. So wrong that Luo Binghe thought to seek help from the person who he could once rely on for anything. His Shizun. His awful, unworthy, villain of a Shizun.
Shen Qingqiu flips the scroll to the other side. Nothing. No, no. He needs to know–he needs more–
“Luo Binghe, how is he?!” Shen Qingqiu has grasped Xiao Huo by the shoulders now. Surely the Fury Falcon saw him, spoke with him. He must know something. Anything.
Xiao Huo scoffs, preening the feathers around his temples. “Oh, that halfing? This one is still not certain Luo Binghe is the Heavenly Demon he claims to be.” He takes Shen Qingqiu’s hands on him as an invitation, returning to his cherished spot on Shen Qingqiu’s lap. “A-Qiu, no leader of the demon race should cry that much. This lowly one would make a much better mate for you.”
“Who said anything about mates?” This is a matter of life or death! Shen Qingqiu springs from the bed, shoving a struggling Xiao Huo under the sheets as he calls for Ming Fan.
“Quiet!” Shen Qingqiu hisses to a very not quiet Xiao Huo. A pillow over the face makes for a nice way to silence the squabbling Fury Falcon. He’s a demon. He’ll be fine.
And Xiao Huo is, his entire body glowing like magma as he morphs back into his original state. He perches himself right on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder. Whatever. That works.
“Yes Shizun?” Ming Fan is at the door in seconds, arms folded in front of him, head bent in deference as he pretends to not have heard his Shizun killing a man inside the Bamboo House. The same way his master pretends to not hear him and the others dog piling Liu-Shishu at every opportune moment. “What can this one do?”
Shen Qingqiu rubs at the migraine he already feels forming. “Go get your Shang-Shishu.”
✦✦✦
“You wouldn’t make it two days, bro. Actually, no. You wouldn’t even make it two hours–” Shang Qinghua yelps as his bowl of lotus seeds is smacked away by a fan moving faster than light itself. He knew something was up when Cucumber-bro invited him over. He greeted Shang Qinghua normally, none of his customary moaning and bitching about a long forgotten PIDW plot hole. A simple hello. Who knew that was possible?! He even gave Shang Qinghua food! But not one of the sesame balls on the ceramic plate next to him. Shang Qinghua doesn’t deserve those, apparently.
“I didn’t bring you here to tell me it’s not possible,” Shen Qingqiu drops a sesame ball into his mouth, smacking away Shang Qinghua’s hand when he tries to grab one for himself.
No, Shen Qingqiu brought him to the Bamboo House to unload some god awful plan he made while clearly in the throes Luo Binghe induced mental breakdown. It goes as follows:
1.) Enter the Endless Abyss (how?)
2.) Find Luo Binghe (how?)
3.) Escape together (HOW???)
4.) ???
There’s also a demon on Cucumber-bro’s shoulder. A cool demon. A cool, colorful demon that Shang Qinghua really should know the name of since he literally crafted its entire existence.
“Fire…fire phoenix?” He tries. Hm. No. That doesn’t sound right.
Shen Qingqiu spares the five seconds of effort it takes to look away from his work and give Shang Qinghua the most chilling scowl. He’s covered in ink; sleeves artlessly pulled back to reveal strokes of black up and down his arms, his stained fingertips casting an almost (almost!) adorable smudge across his nose when he goes to move an errant piece of hair from his failing updo. “What?”
“Flame flyer?”
“What–no. No. Fury Falcon!” He throws a dropped lotus seed directly at the center of Shang Qinghua’s forehead. Bullseye. The Fury Falcon chirps in approval. “Focus!” Shen Qingqiu snaps. “As I was saying…I will be fine in the Endless Abyss. So you don’t need to worry.”
Shang Qinghua has to laugh at that. “How, my dude? You were literally nerfed by the narrative. The second a big, bad demon comes at you down there, Without-a-Cure is going to rear its ugly head and then you’re gonna die. And I’m gonna be alone. Who am I supposed to talk about Naruto with then, huh?!”
“We’ve discussed the complexities of Sasunaru enough as it is–”
Like hell they have! “We still need to go over the potential divorced dad’s arc.” Shang Qinghua didn’t illegally download the latest manga chapters before his death, releasing an unholy calamity of viruses onto his laptop that nearly corrupted his Zhongdian author account, for nothing. “Surely you’ve read Boruto and seen the implications.”
”Stop distracting me. We don’t have time for this.”
Shang Qinghua throws his arms up in silent defeat. “Fine. Fine. Explain to me how FINE you’re going to be in the one place that almost killed the protagonist. I would love to hear this.”
Shen Qingqiu tucks his brush behind his ear. Cute. Who taught him to be cute? “I have a theory,” he begins. “We know of the protagonist halo. Luo Binghe is protected from death because of his role in the story. Right, System?”
‘That is correct, User Shen Yuan!’ The System happily supplies. Brown-noser. Shang Qinghua waves the floating neon screen away.
“But. Have you ever considered the opposite?”
Shang Qinghua tries to. “The protagonist…death flag?” Who the hell wants to read a story where the protagonist dies?
Shen Qingqiu chooses to ignore that, the same way he chooses to ignore half the crap Shang Qinghua spouts out. He crumbles up his current parchment, opting for a new blank one to scribble over next. “The villain halo. Essentially it boils down to the idea that only the protagonist can bring justice and kill the villain. Therefore, narratively speaking, nothing in the Endless Abyss should be able to kill me.”
“Because Luo Binghe has already reserved the right.” It dawns on Shang Qinghua then. That his best bro might actually be a genius. He slams his hands on the table, rattling an already empty dish of ink onto its side. “You sick son of a bitch. That just might work.”
It doesn’t matter that Shang Qinghua can, in good faith, claim that Luo Binghe is hopelessly in love with Cucumber-bro. He’s still technically The Villain in the eyes of the System. That is, until Luo Binghe gets his tongue down Cucumber-bro’s throat and officially marks him as The Love Interest instead. The Protagonist Halo coverage extends to wives and dependents, so Shen Qingqiu will totally qualify for his new health insurance plan.
“Hopefully this will work too.” Shen Qingqiu presents a talisman from his desk, the one he’s been trying to perfect for the better half of four hours. Or at least for as long as Shang Qinghua has been here. So, in other words, too long. He slaps it onto Shang Qinghua’s face.
Shang Qinghua feels a pleasant buzz as the spell takes root and activates. He’s not sure what he’s expecting when he looks down next, but it isn’t the pale green robes of Qing Jing Peak. Or the river of midnight hair coursing down his shoulders and back. And certainly not the long, willowy hands of a cultivator much more regal than himself frantically pressing and pawing around a body much more regal than his own.
“What the hell did you just do to me?” Even his voice has changed.
Shen Qingqiu’s mania decreases by a solid five levels after seeing that his little trinket was successful. “I need you to cover for me while I’m gone. The others won’t let me off the mountain on my own. Not with Without-A-Cure. And especially not to the Abyss. But you–you can be gone for months and no one would notice.”
“Hey!”
“What?”
The audacity Cucumber-bro has to act confused. “You would notice if I were gone, wouldn’t you?” Shang Qinghua asks, and no that’s not his voice cracking or his eyes welling up. You’re imagining things.
Shen Qingqiu is silent.
“It’s really important for our friendship that you answer yes.”
“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says, while still managing to sound like he said no.
“Say yes like you mean it. Or I’m not playing stand-in for you.”
“Yes. Yes! Okay?”
Aw. How sweet. Shang Qinghua blows Shen Qingqiu a kiss. “I love you, bro.”
He shows his love by walking over to Shen Qingqiu’s vanity and shoving off every frilly oil and hair piece that stands in the way between him and the mirror. He smiles at his new reflection.
Nice.
He gropes his new chest.
Niiice.
“Stop that!” Shen Qingqiu proves his superior strength between the two and drags Shang Qinghua back to the table for further discussion. Oh, yeah. They have a hoax that needs planning.
Shen Qingqiu resumes his lecture. “A Fury Falcon is capable of crossing in and out of the Endless Abyss. Xiao Huo can open a rift between realms for me.”
“Xiao Huo…” Shang Qinghua mouths to himself.
“The bird, Airplane.”
Right, right.
“But he is unable to get me out of the Endless Abyss. That is an ability unique to his own kind.”
Sure. Shang Qinghua probably wrote some stupid rule like that. To keep Luo Binghe trapped in the down there for as long as possible.
Shen Qingqiu pets along the colorful row of feathers at Xiao Huo’s chest. The Fury Falcon looks to be settling down for a nice, long nap across the slope of Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders. Of course Cucumber-bro won the thing’s heart in the time it takes to boil some tea.
“I will find Luo Binghe.” There’s no planning on this part. Just pure, unadulterated lunacy. “I will let him do with me as he pleases.” Shang Qinghua’s not so sure that’s a good idea. And not in the way Shen Qingqiu thinks. “And if he allows it, I will help him in locating Xin Mo.”
That’s their only ticket out of there. Luo Binghe must be struggling to find the legendary sword. And luckily for him, he has a Shizun who’s read the whereabouts of its exact location.
Shang Qinghua tries to run a hand through his/Shen Qingqiu’s ludicrously long hair, only for it to get stuck halfway through. He tugs it free, probably having created a bald spot on the side of his head in the process. How does Cucumber-bro deal with all this? “And you’ve made this whole plan all because of a letter and some…ribbon?”
Shen Qingqiu’s maiden tendencies strike again as he raises a distraught hand to his chest. “The message was written in blood!”
That’s a little cliche, isn’t it? “Come on, bro. This is a trap and you know it.”
Less like a trap and more like a booty-call. Luo Binghe is one hundred percent just trying to lure Shen Qingqiu to hell with him so they can get down and dirty amongst the mountain of demon corpses he has surely accumulated by now. And worse, Shen Qingqiu is letting him. Cucumber-bro, Shang Qinghua is doing all he can to conserve your precious chastity! Work with him, won’t you?
“I don’t care. If Binghe is asking for me, then I’ll come.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” Plenty of times, if Shang Qinghua knows his son.
He sighs. Cucumber-bro is leaving whether Shang Qinghua wants him to or not. The whole mountain will go up in flames if his absence is discovered, and then it’s Shang Qinghua’s ass on the chopping block as the last person to have been seen with him. Ugh. The next time Shen Qingqiu harmlessly invites him over for tea, he’s saying no.
“One month. I can probably keep them off your tail for that long.”
Cucumber-bro smiles–like really smiles, and suddenly Shang Qinghua isn’t as mad as he was two seconds ago. Witchcraft! If they transmigrated into the early days of America, Shen Qingqiu would’ve been tied to a post and burnt to a crisp by now.
“Here.” In a rare moment of trust, Shen Qingqiu offers one of his fans to Shang Qinghua. A prop. A necessity. In order to play the part of the lofty Shen Qingqiu.
Shang Qinghua snaps the fan open. Hard. It smacks him square in the face. He’s left with a sizable red welt across his left cheek. Cucumber-bro can’t even look at him from where he’s dropped his face despairingly into his hands. Xiao Huo tries to comfort him, nosing at his hair. It doesn’t work.
“Two weeks. Let's cut it down to two weeks,” Shang Qinghua generates a nice breeze for himself with the fan. Then for Cucumber-bro who now looks close to having a Shang Qinghua induced mental breakdown.
“Two weeks won’t do.” Shen Qingqiu had planned for this, for Shang Qinghua’s total ineptitude. “We’re going to use the Soul Swapping Amulets.”
A throw away plot device. Used for a wife plot of some sort. The name speaks for itself. It allows the users to harness the power of, well, swapping souls. For a limited amount of time. But long enough to call Shen Qingqiu back to Cang Qiong Mountain in case of an emergency. Cucumber-bro really did his studying for this suicide mission of his.
“Great!” Shang Qinghua cheers. “You have a pair?”
Shen Qingqiu looks away guiltily. “No. Not exactly…but Yue Qingyuan does.”
Ah ha. Shang Qinghua catches on this time. “You mean the Hall of Artifacts.”
Cang Qiong has dealt with their fair share of cursed items and dangerous tools from their many missions across the human realm. Those deemed unfit for society knowledge or use are sealed away in the Hall of Artifacts on Qiong Ding Peak. And it is guarded by none other than the Sect Leader himself. Peak Lords are granted access to the otherwise unrestricted area. But only under the supervision of Yue Qingyuan.
“You’re going to steal them, aren’t you?” Shang Qinghua realizes.
“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu bites at his nail in thought. “Once I figure out how, that is.”
“What are you talking about, this is the easiest part of your plan so far!” Shang Qinghua rolls his eyes. Thank god Cucumber-bro has him. He clears his throat and does the last thing Shen Qingqiu expects.
He starts taking off his robes.
“Airplane!”
Shang Qinghua shimmies off his outermost layer, revealing the pearly white sheen of Shen Qingqiu’s preferred under robes. He makes a show of loosening his collar and removing his shining, silver vambraces. Bare wrists? Exposed collarbones?! What is he, a slut?
Shang Qinghua cracks the fan open, carefully this time, and waves at himself. Just enough to make the wind dance through his hair.
“Zhangmen-shixiong,” he says in a syrupy sweet voice Shen Qingqiu is certain he’s never used before. And never wants to hear coming from his mouth again. “This one was curious about a relic recently added to the Hall of Artifacts. Could this one trouble Zhangmen-shixiong for a private tour?” Cue the batting eyes. Shen Qingqiu didn’t think anything would be worse than the torture he’ll inevitably face at the hands of the protagonist, but he’s been proven wrong.
Horrifyingly enough, it continues. Shang Qinghua reaches out, sweeping his fingers ever so gently across Shen Qingqiu’s knuckles before lacing their hands together. This is–Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know why he’s flustered all of the sudden? It’s literally his own body!
“Zhangmen-shixiong is so knowledgeable. Xiao-jiu requires your personal assistance.”
‘System?’ The green box perks to attention in Shen Qingqiu’s periphery. ‘Could you kindly erase my memories of this whole conversation?’
Apologies, User Shen Yuan. That is not a feature within the System interface. (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )
Useless! Always so useless!
“What are you doing?” Shen Qingqiu needs to put an end to this before Shang Qinghua causes him to qi deviate. Why is twirling his hair around his finger like that? And puckering his lips? Why are his robes slipping further and further off Airplane’s body? He’s transmigrated ages before Shen Qingqiu, he knows how to properly wear a hanfu!
“The one thing that’s going to work, bro,” Shang Qinghua says, revealing the last sesame ball he’d stolen right from underneath Shen Qingqiu’s nose. “Flirting.”
✦✦✦
Shen Qingqiu has a promised tour of the Hall of Artifacts secured before he can even finish getting the request out as his and Yue Qingyuan’s weekly tea time. Shang Qinghua wrote him a script he did not need. It outlined everything. All the way from how to get into the hall, down to what he could say/do to distract the sect leader long enough for Xiao Huo to steal the amulets. Called it Plan ‘Flirt to Divert.’ Shen Qingqiu doesn’t care that it rhymes. It’s still a bad name.
Besides, he didn’t need it! He only spoke to Yue Qingyuan as he always does. No flirting required! At least, not yet. Yue Qingyuan may have brushed his hair from his face and cupped his cheek as he promised Shen Qingqiu he’d do anything his Xiao-jiu asked, but it’s not like that’s something the sect leader hasn’t done before.
“What piece is Xiao-jiu so interested in seeing?” Yue Qingyuan glows with a child-like eagerness from his spot at Shen Qingqiu’s side, their shoulders brushing every other step as they make their way to the Hall of Artifacts at the base of the mountain.
“There are a few this one would like to study.” Shen Qingqiu bristles slightly at the hand Yue Qingyuan places at the small of his back. There’s no need to help guide him like this. He’s been to the Hall of Artifacts before, he’s not going to get lost on the way there!
“Of course. Xiao-jiu can take as much time as he likes inside. This one would be happy to answer any question Xiao-jiu may have.” Xiao-Huo, nestled at Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder once more, clocks the exact moment Yue Qingyuan tries to make a play at grabbing his A-Qiu’s waist. He squawks, nipping at that lecherous hand before it can move any further. Yue Qingyuan had seamlessly granted Shen Qingqiu permission to keep Xiao Huo as a pet; something that definitely shouldn’t have been allowed on a peak full of demon-slaying cultivators. He’s looking like he’s regretting that choice right about now.
“Be nice.” Shen Qingqiu’s reprimand is as weak as a kitten’s swat. A-Qiu certainly has lots of suitors. Three, that Xiao Huo has counted so far. And there’s sure to be more lurking around somewhere. He must stay vigilant.
The entrance to the Hall of Artifacts is unassuming, easy to overlook. Strategically so. Built from stone of Qiong Ding’s own mountain, the dark building looks as though it is one with nature, making it near invisible to the average passerby. Only a trusted few, like Shen Qingqiu’s fellow Peak Lords, are aware of its location. But even if one nosey disciple were to stumble upon this spot, they would be unable to enter. Only with a small, concentrated injection of Yue Qingyuan’s qi can the doors be unlocked. At Yue Qingyuan’s insistence, the doors open themselves, shaking the ground with the same force as an avalanche.
Yue Qingyuan helps Shen Qingqiu over the raised threshold of the entrance. A line of torches flare to life on each wall, dousing the room with an eerie orange glow. The Hall of Artifacts is just that–a long hall filled with, you guessed it, artifacts. And really, what was Shen Qingqiu expecting? This place only exists as a graveyard for used and abused plot devices that Airplane didn’t have enough creativity to otherwise write out of the story. If they weren’t being used to challenge the Protagonist, or help him score a new wife, they were left here. To rot, or become relevant again five hundred chapters later.
Shen Qingqiu searches the row of wooden pedestals for the matching necklaces and finds them near the left wall. No case, no wrappings. It’s almost too easy. He looks to Xiao Huo. The demon taps his beak against Shen Qingqiu’s cheek. He’s ready.
If only he weren’t the most conspicuous looking bird to ever exist. Camouflage was never a Fury Falcon’s thing. Maybe in the lava rivers of the Endless Abyss, but certainly not here. Airplane was right. They need a distraction.
Shen Qingqiu wanders closer to the Soul Swapping Amulets, without being too obvious about what his true target is. He comes to a stop at a random pedestal. “Zhangmen-shixiong, remind this one of this artifact’s properties?”
Get him monologuing. That’ll keep him busy.
“The Lover’s Shackles?” Yue Qingyuan very quickly occupies the empty space next to Shen Qingqiu. So close! Xiao Huo caws again. He’s not very fond of Yue Qingyuan, is he? “They were retrieved from a succubus cave. Once worn between a couple, they are reported to forever bind the target’s soul to the owner of the shackles. They would do their every bidding. It was used for…nefarious reasons. Primarily to lure young men from their families into succubus traps.”
Oh! That actually is kind of interesting! Shen Qingqiu curiously pokes at the shackles with the guard of his fan. “I wonder how they work…” he mumbles. Mostly to himself. Yue Qingyuan listens anyways.
“Would Xiao-jiu like to try?” He holds up his wrist. Shen Qingqiu’s mouth drops open. Talk about trust!
“No need. Zhangmen-shixiong already does everything this one asks for,” Shen Qingqiu laughs, but Yue Qingyuan doesn’t join him. Rather, he becomes more serious than ever.
“Mhm. And I always will.”
Hey wait, what happened to the formal speech? This is a business meeting! And why are they holding hands now? Shen Qingqiu’s mind flashes back to Shang Qinghua’s plan. Okay. He remembers reading about hand holding. What was next? Was it the eye batting? Or was it taking off his clothes? Airplane said to just do that if things got dire. Yue Qingyuan leans down, purpose sharpening into his usually passive gaze. This is dire! Shen Qingqiu shakes his shoulder to try and ease his outer robe off. Xiao Huo takes that as the signal it isn't and swoops off towards the amulets.
Not yet! Yue Qingyuan will surely notice! Except he doesn’t. He’s started rambling about…something? Shen Qingqiu doesn't know what. He wasn’t paying attention. Obviously.
“...if you would consider my bid for your hand in–”
The vibrant glare of Xiao Huo wings as he takes flight seems to draw Yue Qingyuan’s eye, if only for a second. A second is all he needs to catch them red handed in this whole farce. That won’t do! Shen Qingqiu ditches the script and makes his own move.
He pushes Yue Qingyuan against the wall. Crowds him. Slams his arm up when Yue Qingyuan tries to look Xiao Huo’s way.
Shen Qingqiu knows his way around a shoujo manga, as anyone with taste should. He knows just how effective this particular move is. Who knew he had it in him!
“I’ll consider it,” Shen Qingqiu whispers into what little space remains between their mouths. Yue Qingyuan appears to have been nailed into place. He makes a few abortive sounds before choosing to stare at up Shen Qingqiu with big, beseeching eyes, round and bright as a full moon. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know what he just agreed to. Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as getting caught stealing.
Xiao Huo flees the scene like the criminal he is, both amulets strung across his neck. He’s home free before Yue Qingyuan even gathers his wits.
“Xiao-jiu–”
“Peak emergency!” Shen Qingqiu shouts as he makes his own hasty escape. He climbs on Xiu Ya to join Xiao Huo in the sky. Thank you, sect leader! You’ve been a dear!
He’s sure whatever Yue Qingyuan was trying to tell him can’t be that important.
Right?
✦✦✦
Shang Qinghua wails and threatens to sic Mobei-jun on him when Shen Qingqiu cuts his palm with a spare kitchen knife. Wuss. Shen Qingqiu does the same to himself without so much as a flinch because that’s how real transmigrators act. Squeezing his hand into a fist, Shen Qingqiu wills a few drops of blood to fall. They splatter onto the massive clear gemstone of his half of the Soul Swapping Amulets, sinking into the center and turning the colorless centerpiece red. He loops the golden chain around his neck and instructs Shang Qinghua to do the same.
The Soul Swapping Amulets didn’t come with instructions, but they figured it out after some trial and error. A supply of qi to the gemstone and they activate. Simple enough. Shen Qingqiu just hopes and prays that he won’t be caught in a life and death situation with Luo Binghe in the Abyss, just to be sent back to the Bamboo House because Airplane can’t figure out if Shen Qingqiu prefers jasmine over oolong tea. The answer is jasmine. Which he told Airplane three times already. Just to be on the safe side. As well as which fan is his favorite, and what path leads to the sword mound where he must sit and mourn for three hours a day. Yes, this is important, Airplane. No, you cannot bring paperwork or play System Solitaire while you’re there. You’d dare disgrace the memory of the White Lotus Protagonist like that?!
Shen Qingqiu has lesson plans written out for all his disciples and enough physical alteration talismans to keep Shang Qinghua under disguise for the next millennium. He’s done all he can. Now the rest is up to Airplane.
So basically, it’s going to crash and burn.
“I will have Xiao Huo send updates.” Shen Qingqiu packed a qiankun bag with everything he could think of: spare robes, food, weapons, bedding, medical supplies–and somehow it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough. There’s no telling how long he’ll be gone for, and worse, there’s no telling what state he’ll find Luo Binghe in either. He’d shove all of Qian Cao Peak in here if he could! Come on, everyone. Don’t ask questions, just get into the magical bag please! Mu Qingfang, you too. Hurry up now.
It’s taken less than a day to prepare for this trip. And yet, Shen Qingqiu feels like he can’t get to the Endless Abyss fast enough. Luo Binghe’s letter sits at his desk, taunting him.
What’s taking you so long?
Binghe needs your help.
Hurry.
HURRY!
Shen Qingqiu jolts to his feet and Xiao Huo, who was busy admiring himself in Shen Qingqiu’s mirror, startles to attention and rushes over. He’d left at some point and ransacked a merchant’s stall off the mountain, returning with an entire new outfit that he insisted needed Shen Qingqiu’s approval. He chose a dreamy, deep blue outer robe and paired it with an under robe in the brightest, most obnoxious red he could find, creating a rather pleasing contrast. The cut was originally meant to be trim and form fitting, but in his hurry to not get whacked with by the merchant’s broom, Xiao Huo snagged a robe two sizes too big. With his hair up and a headband stretched across his forehead in an attempt to hide some of his more obvious facial feathers, he gives the impression of a young boy desperately trying to pass as a soldier.
“We’re leaving,” Shen Qingqiu decrees.
“Now?!” Shang Qinghua nurses his bleeding hand like he doesn’t possess the ability to heal it in two seconds. It's too soon. He’s not ready! He’s still trying to figure out how to do that thing that Shen Qingqiu does with his eyes or his lips, or maybe it’s in the hips? Or whatever it is that makes everyone crazy over him. That’s like, the most vital part to Cucumber-bro’s performance as Shen Qingqiu. He can’t screw it up!
There’s a knock. Three heads swivel towards the door.
“Now,” Shen Qingqiu says and shoves the pile of talismans into Shang Qinghua’s arms. They’re going out the back. “And you,” he says to Xiao Huo, batting him away from where he’s hooked his chin over Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder. “I am not letting you ride on Xiu Ya with me.” He’s a bird, for goodness sake. He can fly just fine on his own.
“This one’s wing still hurts.” Shen Qingqiu would’ve bought that excuse if Xiao Huo bothered to keep on the bandage of this apparently debilitating injury of his. But the big, begging, puppy-dog eyes he tries next…they’re way too effective. Not as good as Binghe’s, but good enough that Shen Qingqiu agrees to a five minute sword ride. But that’s it.
“You owe me for this!” Shang Qinghua yells, his fist raised as if he could ever pose an actual threat to his Cucumber-bro. The door knocks again. Louder this time. Shen Qingqiu and Xiao Huo are creeping out the private back door of the Bamboo House before Shang Qinghua can manage to stick on a talisman. He feels the spell set in place and confirms with a glance to the mirror. Yep. All set.
Shang Qinghua does a little stretching to settle his nerves. He’s got this. He can do this.
The door swings open.
Zhangmen-shixiong.” Shang Qinghua pauses, watching as Liu Qingge fights his way past the mountainous bouquet of flowers Yue Qingyuan brought. “And Liu-shidi?” The Bai Zhan War God spits out a mouthful of colorful petals. Cheng Luan is missing from its usual place at his waist. Instead Liu Qingge wields…a broom?
They both start speaking on top of one another.
“Xiao-jiu, may I come in so we can continue our conversation from before–”
“Let me in and let me clean your–”
Shang Qinghua slams the door in their faces.
Nevermind. He can’t do this.
✦✦✦
“A-Qiu, I can’t do it if you’re watching me~” Xiao Huo’s oversized sleeves give him the perfect sweater paws to press against his rapidly reddening face. Shen Qingqiu didn’t know this demon even had a shy bone in his body! And he chooses now of all times to use it?! Shen Qingqiu didn’t bring the Xiao Huo along to stand there and look pretty, as well of a job he does at that anyway. They have a gateway to literal Hell that needs opening. Let’s pick up the pace, please!
Xiao Huo has Shen Qingqiu turn around so he can’t watch, but it doesn’t make any difference. The deafening scream he releases could be heard from the heavens. The force of the cry is so intense, the corners of Xiao Huo’s mouth expand, nearly unhinging his jaw from the upper half of his face. From his position on the ground, kneeling with his hand slammed over his ears, Shen Qingqiu can see the visible sound waves of Xiao Huo’s cry tearing a rift into the canyon before them.
Xiao Huo’s only request was that they travel to a large, empty area to open the rift. He didn’t want any other humans to accidentally stumble into the Endless Abyss with them. Says they’re an invasive species. That if they survive long enough, they cause quite the ruckus. Which makes exactly zero sense. How much trouble could humans really cause when the air itself down there is enough to kill them? Shen Qingqiu bothers Xiao Huo for an answer, but never gets one.
“Aiya, so embarrassing!” Xiao Huo’s jaw stitches itself back into place as he continues his flustered act, the monstrous rift to the Endless Abyss emitting a low, dark moan as Xiao Huo flits about, his face about as red as his hair. “A-Qiu, this one is so sorry you had witness that. Please do not think less of this lowly demon.”
“Xiao Huo is incredible.” A clawed, feathered hand helps assist Shen Qingqiu back to his feet. “Truly, it is remarkable how you are able to create a rift with your voice alone!” Shen Qingqiu pulls back Xiao Huo’s robes to better examine his chest, inquiring of the size of his lungs. Surely they must be greater than the average human to emit such a sound! How does he do it? Or is it through the power of the throat and the vocal chords? Shen Qingqiu’s fingers climb up to Xiao Huo’s neck, tickling at the smattering of orange feathers he finds there. So interesting! He must know more–
“A-Qiu, don’t tease,” Xiao Huo captures those wicked fingers before they start something they can’t stop. It’s too much! Really! Xiao Huo makes a hasty retreat back into his demon form and seats himself back on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder, hiding his face in that long, beautiful hair of his.
“You’re just like Binghe, running away why you get shy,” Shen Qingqiu smiles, remembering a time he had to chase a blushing Luo Binghe into a pond. Sweet boy. He’d been just a sapling then. So small that Shen Qingqiu carried him in his arms back to the Bamboo House and held him all night long to circulate qi into his wounds. He’d been training so hard at that time, desperate to grow up. Shen Qingqiu wonders if that little white lotus would recognize who he's become now. Shen Qingqiu isn’t even sure if he himself could.
Either way, he’s about to find out.
The rift emits a nauseating pool of ying energy, enough so to make even a renowned cultivator like Shen Qingqiu hesitate to step through.
Entering the Endless Abyss is the easy part. Escaping it–well, that’s another story.
What will Shen Qingqiu do if he can’t get out? If he can’t find Xin Mo, if he runs out of food? If his Villain Halo fails as he’s mauled to death by a pack of Red Howler Rats?
But this isn’t about him. This is about Luo Binghe.
And with that, Shen Qingqiu takes his last lungful of fresh air and blue skies, and steps through the rift.
✦✦✦
The air of the Endless Abyss is thick and thin at the same. Hot and cold. But above all, it’s really fucking awful. Shen Qingqiu makes it two steps before falling to his knees into the rocky, bloodstained surface beneath him. Xiao Huo reverts to his human form in an instant, more than happy to be a cane for Shen Qingqiu to wobbly rely on.
“Just…give me a moment.” It’s a herculean effort for Shen Qingqiu to circulate his qi, guiding it to his lungs and dispersing the poisonous air before it can harm him. It will take some time for his body to adapt and filter out the harmful energy on its own. It will be a manual job until then. Of course, Shen Qingqiu expected this. He just didn’t expect it to be so hard.
Was it this hard for Binghe too?
Shen Qingqiu’s attention is pulled in fifty different directions. He’s in the Volcanic Riverlands, a relatively calm area of the Abyss, if any of it could be considered calm. The mutated beasts that reside here are usually manageable, and the hot springs hidden hidden in the maze of caves at the base of volcanic mountain are said to have healing properties, those of which had once saved Luo Binghe from a viciously infected wound after he battled a herd of Stone Spiked Bison.
The volcano erupts as if to welcome Shen Qingqiu to his new home for the foreseeable future. Endless streams of lava trickle down the mountainside, forging their way through the mainland in rivers of orange so bright and hot it melts away the skin of whatever poor demon flies too close, leaving piles of bones for Shen Qingqiu to crumble into dust under his boot with every step.
The sky is a dusty red, thick with fog. There’s no sun, no moon, not a single source of light outside of the lava and Xiao Huo’s glistening feathers. Shen Qingqiu already knows what dangers lurk in the dark. There’s no letting his guard down. Not for a moment.
“You may go,” Shen Qingqiu tells a distracted Xiao Huo. He’s staring at the nearest stream of lava with the intensity of a longing lover. In a blaze of light, Xiao Huo has already transformed and dived straight into the burning river. He emerges, shaking his wings free of lava before submerging himself once more. Like a kid in a pool. Shen Qingqiu watches from a distance, amusement dulling his instincts. He doesn’t realize the Hellhound Hyena is there until it pounces.
Fast! Shen Qingqiu thinks, but Xiu Ya is faster. His sword unsheathes itself, lancing straight through the beast’s heart. Shen Qingqiu removes it from the carcass, swinging at the next Hellhound Hyena that comes at him from the right. They always hunt in packs of at least six. He dispatches the remaining four before Xiao Huo finishes his bird bath and comes plodding back over with his face and feathers squeaky clean.
“A-Qiu, this one thanks you for such a lovely meal.” Xiao Huo rips off a rear leg of the closest hyena, bringing it up to his mouth for a bite. A string of muscle hangs from the corner of his mouth, and when Shen Qingqiu politely points it out, Xiao Huo simply slurps it like a noodle.
He asks if Shen Qingqiu wants a bite too. Even saves him the best piece–the tongue. What wonderful manners! Unfortunately Shen Qingqiu has to decline.
Shen Qingqiu enjoys his own meal later after securing a safe spot to spend the night. The cave had been full of sleeping Double-Headed Blood Bats, but one swing of Xiu Ya had them skittering out of there in a blink of an eye. His supper consists of rice and dried meat, not exactly the delectable spread he’s used to. But he wants to save the good stuff for Binghe. His palate has surely extended to demon delicacies by now, but maybe he misses a little taste of home.
The first day passes without incident. Shen Qingqiu isn’t tired, high wired by the rush of adrenaline that hasn’t lifted since he first stepped foot in this cursed place, but he knows he should sleep while he can. It won’t always be this easy. He digs around his overstuffed qiankun bag in search of something suitable to sleep on. A blanket twice his size and heavy enough to suffocate him will do the trick. Shen Qingqiu cocoons himself in comfort and tries his best not to think how Luo Binghe will be spending the night. Cold, lonely, with no one to soothe away the stress brought on by the day as Shen Qingqiu once would. Be it a hand passing through Luo Binghe’s abundant hair, or a lap for Luo Binghe to rest his weary head. Or maybe someone is. That only makes Shen Qingqiu feel worse, for a reason he won’t bother trying to figure out. Ridiculous. This isn’t what he should be concerned about. There are a breed of bugs in the Endless Abyss capable of furrowing into his head through his ears and feasting on his brain matter. That’s what should be keeping him up right now! Not silly thoughts of what wife is indulging Luo Binghe tonight. Shen Qingqiu covers his ears to keep out the bugs and his worthless worries over the protagonist.
With Xiao Huo posted at the cave entrance like a guard dog that barks at even the passing breeze, Shen Qingqiu curls closer to the fire he spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to start, knowing it will be to close his eyes for a moment. A quick cat nap never hurt anyone.
Shen Qingqiu was never a fan of camping: no electricity, no wifi, just bugs and boredom–but this trip doesn’t seem so bad! Maybe he’s overestimated the Abyss. Maybe it’ll be fun!
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t realize he’s jinxed himself until he wakes an undetermined amount of time later, bound and gagged on the floor of an excruciatingly small cage. He never considered himself claustrophobic until now, unable to even stand or stretch his legs without hitting a barrier of metal. How wonderful. A peaceful night of sleep was too much to ask for, hm?
Shen Qingqiu squints into the stale darkness looming around him. There’s a thick fabric of some kind thrown over his personal prison cell. Or so he's assuming. At least there’s no dead body in here to keep him company. The jostling rhythm that nearly rams Shen Qingqiu into the bars around him tells that he’s on the move. Probably on a carriage of some kind. With a horrible fucking driver. Would it kill them to go a little slower? A little gentler? They’ve got delicate cargo here!
Xiao Huo is nowhere to be seen. The same goes for Xiu Ya. To make matters worse, Shen Qingqiu’s qi has been sealed. Not Without-A-Cure. The culprit lies in the agonizingly familiar red rope trapping his hand and feet together. Immortal binding cables–here of all places? That’s not fair.
A hand with too many fingers unveils a corner of the cage. A demon. With scales for skin and the eyes of a predator. A forked tongue slithers towards Shen Qingqiu as if to try and steal a taste. He won’t let them. With his feet tied at the ankles, that gives Shen Qingqiu enough wriggle room to shoot his legs out and trap that tongue between the bottom of his boot and a bar of the cage. He grinds down until he hears a telltale squish. The demon is howling and clawing for escape, but it can’t get far with Shen Qingqiu’s foot holding him hostage.
A knife comes down and slices the length of tongue stretched outside the cage, successfully separating them. The snake demon falls to their back, gagging on the blood of the now leaking appendage as it retreats back into its mouth. Good. Maybe they learned their lesson.
“I told you to be careful. Humans are dangerous,” a voice hisses. The newcomer, dressed in prestigious dark armor, bends down to take a look at Shen Qingqiu. He whistles appreciatively. Should Shen Qingqiu be charmed by that? Because he's not. He kicks hysterically at the bars of the cage to try and scare the soldier off. It doesn't work. It only ends up frightening the snake demon even more than he already has. They’re on their feet and running off before Shen Qingqiu can try and channel the ferocity of a toddler stomping their way through a tantrum again. The armored demon cackles, the sound like two rocks grinding against each other until one cracks. His hand shoots into the cage, grabbing a generous handful of Shen Qingqiu’s hair to drag him close. Where his partner failed, he does not, his tongue dragging a wet streak across Shen Qingqiu’s cheek. Is this some customary demon greeting Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know about? He’s not going to lick anyone back if that’s what they’re thinking.
The demon wets his lips, savoring the flavor Shen Qingqiu doesn’t even know he possesses. “Hello, beautiful. Welcome to the Endless Abyss.”
Notes:
Aaaaaand we're rolling. Sorry if the chapter was too fast paced. I wanted to get all the boring plot build-up out of the way as soon as possible so we can get to the fun stuff aka Bingqiu sloppy makeouts.
I couldn't come up with a valid reason as to why a Fury Falcon can get others into the abyss but can't get them out, so I blamed it on SQH. thx airplane <3 also all the horrible abyss demon names are SQH’s fault as well.
My brothers didn’t let me watch Naruto with them growing up so I had basically zero knowledge about the show. Stumbled upon sasunaru one day and was delightfully surprised. Forgive me, Naruto. I wasn’t familiar with your game🫡
Next chapter: SQQ learns about the human flesh trade in the abyss, and SQH learns how many damn ppl are in love with SQQ (+ a possible Bingqiu reunion...)
Thank you for reading!! :))
Chapter 2: Caviar
Summary:
“He’s not bad looking either. For a human,” the customer muses. Well, Shen Qingqiu thinks this bozo is bad looking. Especially for a demon. Six arms and you managed to skip arm day for every single one of them?
The soldier agrees, his beaded braid catching the light of the nearest torch with every nod. “And you know how it is. The prettier they are, the better they taste.”
Notes:
Alright y'all, let's get this ball rolling. I don't LOVE this chapter and kinda sped through it bcs I want to get into writing Bingqiu nonsense asap. I hate having them apart :( This whole chapter is basically 'dumb plot device to get SQQ and LBH to reunite' but yk, make it a lil angsty. Just for funsies.
SQH's half of the chapter is postponed to the next update bcs I got carried away writing SQQ's portion. We'll see how he's doing against SQQ's harem soon <3
More demon OCs...but I promise this one has more plot relevance than just being in love with SQQ!!!
This got a single read-through before posting so yeah...ignore the typos pls
Enjoy!!! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Not only does the Volcanic Riverlands of Endless Abyss have an abundance of Fury Falcon approved lava baths and protagonist healing hot springs, it has a thriving economy. Built on the backbone of selling and harvesting human flesh. There’s a market for that. A very lucrative one, Shen Qingqiu has come to learn.
“He fresh?”
The latest demon to stop by Shen Qingqiu’s cage reeks of death, it coats his tongue and flavors his every breath. Shen Qingqiu is mighty popular. At least twenty customers have stopped by, dropping inscribed tokens into the shabby bowl perched on the table Shen Qingqiu has been so carefully set on. Bids. For the right to make him someone’s dinner. Shen Qingqiu would hiss and spit and kick, anything to make himself less desirable. He wasn’t banking on demons actually liking that sort of thing. Some have stopped their shopping for the day to instead sit and waste the hours away watching him. Shen Qingqiu finds himself missing the company of Xiao Huo, who was at least a bit more discreet in his staring. Shen Qingqiu searched for him upon awakening, to no success. Had he run away?
Shen Qingqiu’s not the only poor fellow who was ambushed and thrown on display. The market he was taken to holds an entire line-up of humans. Men, women, even loud crying children who are sold at a discount for the lack of ‘meat’ they provide. And all around them, a buzzing crowd of demons eager to take a bite.
It’s the first sign of active civilization Shen Qingqiu has ever seen in the Endless Abyss. There’s an entire society of demons down here with tents and torches–probably even some HOA taxes. And it’s not high-grade powerful demons like the likes of Luo Binghe or Mobei-Jun. It’s all humanoid, commonplace demons that ought to be in the demon realm and not here, causing problems for Shen Qingqiu.
The most egregious offender being the soldier from earlier who has made it his personal duty to bother Shen Qingqiu. And to try and sell him for the highest price.
“Patrol found him just this morning. He hasn’t been here long.”
The customer hums. He has a whooping three sets of arms and he crosses all of them in what can only be the universal sign of disappointment. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know why he’s offended, but he is.
“Bit skinny, isn’t he?”
The soldier–guard? Whatever he’s supposed to be with that ridiculous black armor–chews on a stalk of something hard and brittle, his sharpened teeth bearing down with every bite. It takes Shen Qingqiu a moment too long to realize it’s a finger that he‘s gnawing on. He quietly tucks his away further into his sleeves before the demon decides he’s hungry for more. “Why, isn’t that mighty convenient. Your robes have been looking a bit tight on you lately, old man.”
The demon howls in laughter. One pair of arms smack his rounded belly with damn near the jolly of ol’ Santa Clause himself. “You’ve been talking to my wife, huh?”
“Auntie Li might’ve stopped by earlier. Who’s to say though?” The two share a few more chuckles. God, it’s like a sitcom or something in here.
“Now, take a look at this.” The soldier pounds on Shen Qingqiu’s cage, which okay–rude, and says to Shen Qingqiu in that all too charming voice of his. “Alright, darling. Like we practiced.”
Why is he using modern day pet names? And worse, why is it working? Shen Qingqiu’s not blind. He knows an attractive individual when he sees one. Demons are no expectation. He also knows when an attractive individual knows they’re attractive. And this soldier–he’s well aware.
Short, roughish hair in an unnatural shade of tyrian is made all the more eye-catching with the small, beaded braid he wears behind his ear. It hangs just above his shoulder, a shining embellishment to his every movement. Red eyes match the sharp, red demonic markings hugging his cheekbones and forehead. A body made for fighting and a face made for smiling; he’s quite a contender for the runner-up position of PIDW Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man Alive’. Behind Liu Qingge maybe. And both of them are leagues away from the crowning winner, year after year until probably the end of time….
(why are you waiting for an answer reveal? Everyone knows it’s Luo Binghe.)
Shen Qingqiu’s kidnappers didn’t have the foresight to blindfold him, so he takes the opportunity to roll his eyes as dramatically as he possibly can. Whatever demon robbed him of his qiankun bag and sword (probably the grinning mf right in front of him) also had the brilliant idea to strip him of all his robes. Well, that’s being dramatic. It wasn’t all his robes, but it might as well have been. Shen Qingqiu was left with one measly layer of silk. White. Closer to a murky brown now. They don’t clean the cages between inhabitants.
When the first passing customer inquired about the quality of the ‘goods’, Pretty Boy over here practically wrestled his way inside the cage, deflecting Shen Qingqiu’s blows and brazenly yanking his leg out from underneath his robes. All the way up to the thigh. Even gave a perfunctory squeeze of the muscles there because no, contraty to popular belief, Shen Qingqiu isn’t just skin and bone.
Plus, all that lean muscle is good for something much better than eating.
Cupping the bloody nose the soldier got in return for his lack of manners, the two of them were forced to come to an agreement. On request, Shen Qingqiu would flash some skin, or be made to by the same paralyzing gas that was used to snatch him out of his cave and into this metal prison in the first place.
And well, a deal is a deal. Shen Qingqiu never thought his challenges as a transmigrator would include being forced to strip tease.
Shen Qingqiu shifts, and shifts, and shifts again because trying to model your legs when your hands and feet are tied together is tough work. Eventually his robes part to reveal the tiniest sliver of leg. As much as his dignity can allow.
The two demons match each other in the dumb stare they give him.
What? No tip?
“Don’t be shy,” the soldier rattles his cage harder, which is weird way of asking for Shen Qingqiu to break his nose again–
BANG.
The cage is probably going to break if the demon soldier hits it a few more times. Actually, that’s not a terrible escape strategy. How annoying can Shen Qingqiu be? He needs to harness his inner Airplane–
BANG, BANG, BANG.
Fine, fine. Shen Qingqiu concedes for now, wriggling his way into revealing a few more scant inches of thigh. He sharpens his glare into something more deadly as he pans over to the soldier. Good enough?
“He’s not bad looking either. For a human,” the customer muses. Well, Shen Qingqiu thinks this bozo is bad looking. Especially for a demon. Six arms and you managed to skip arm day for every single one of them?
The soldier agrees, his beaded braid catching the light of the nearest torch with every nod. “And you know how it is. The prettier they are, the better they taste.”
Then Shen Qingqiu better taste like fucking caviar.
Shen Qingqiu’s highest bid yet is placed. And it doesn’t end there with Mr. No Muscle Mass. The day progresses in a much similar pattern. Interested patrons loiter around Shen Qingqiu’s cage until they get hooked after a good look at his face, or the impressive length of his legs. Some inquire about the color of his eyes–apparently green makes for quite the delicacy. How about his nails? Pink and healthy. Perfect for crunching on later. And all that long hair is just the absolute perfect garnish for an otherwise mouth watering meal.
Just when Shen Qingqiu was about to have enough, a suspiciously clothed figure breezes past. They don’t stop and stare like the other patrons. They drop a token into Shen Qingqiu’s overflowing bid bowl and disappear just as fast as they arrived.
The demon soldier visibly perks. “Ah, sweet thing,” he coos, petting Shen Qingqiu’s cage as if to console him. “You might be the luckiest or unluckiest human to ever exist.”
What exactly does he mean by that? The soldier senses his confusion. He plucks the single token and raises it toward the cage. Shen Qingqiu squints to get a better look.
There’s no numerical value carved into it like the others he’d seen. Just a single word
HUNT
The soldier flips the token between his fingers before flinging it between the bars of Shen Qingqiu’s cage. He might as well have pulled the pin on a grenade and thrown it in instead.
“How fast can you run?”
✦✦✦
Not fast enough. The next arrow to come spiraling at Shen Qingqiu imbeds itself in the tree ahead of him, inches from his head. The last one caught his cheek, drawing a fine line of red across half his face. Shen Qingqiu’s cool with that. That’s a classic gimmick. Turn and dodge just in time to either cut a few strands of hair OR graze your cheek just enough to draw blood. Pick your badass cliche and go.
Now the arrow making itself at home in the middle of his shoulder? Less badass. More painful. Actually, really painful.
Under normal circumstances, Shen Qingqiu would've ripped the thing straight out and healed the gaping wound left behind in five seconds flat. But now he has to trouble himself over the mortal worry of…bleeding to death? How inconvenient.
What’s worse, he can’t even put up a proper fight back.
"I don’t get a weapon?"
Upon the departure of their latest visitor, the demon soldier closed up shop. He scooped Shen Qingqiu up and out of his cage and into the furskin tent built behind them. The demon entourage inside were too busy playing cards to notice their arrival. Until a definitive order of “OUT” from the soldier had them scattering like a herd of frightened animals.
"Your arms and legs will be free."
Shen Qingqiu bindings are loosened and his gag blessedly removed. He’s made to change into a red robe. Bright, bright red. The type of red that’s offensive to the eyes. The perfect shade for a target. The demon soldier laughs when he returns to the tent after Shen Qingqiu is dressed.
“You’d make for a lovely bride.” It’s the first time Shen Qingqiu’s heard him sound remotely serious. But he’s not going to a wedding tonight. He’s going to a hunt.
Correction. He’s going to be hunted.
The demon soldier explains it as so, making Shen Qingqiu sit as he fastens his Immortal Binding Cables in place. He’s arranging them in a different way. Why all over his chest and in this criss-cross patterns–
"We have a few…eccentric customers here. They believe the chase is half the fun of a good meal. And they will pay good money to create one. They pick a target–you–" the demon pokes his side playfully and Shen Qingqiu tries to swipe at him. "And have them escorted to the forest on the outskirts of the village."
Shen Qingqiu caught a glimpse of the towering black trees and their accompanying spikes at the border of the Volcanic Riverlands. He wasn’t planning to head that direction. Luo Binghe certainly wouldn’t have been hanging out in such a dull area–he’d be off battling beasts in a huge crater or on the top of an mountain in the middle of a thunder storm. He tries to look at it in a positive light: this way he’ll go and know for sure that he was right and that Luo Binghe would be found somewhere much more heroically epic.
"From that moment on, you are on your own." The demon soldier tightens the last knot on what is undoubtedly a Shibari bondage design across Shen Qingqiu’s upper body. Sexy ropes are the least of Shen Qingqiu’s concerns right now. He’s more worried about, you know, being eaten alive. "The odds will not be in your favor. A whole team of hunters will be after you. But…your life is yours if you manage to escape them." The soldier politely adjusts Shen Qingqiu’s robes back in place, his hand smoothing out any wrinkles in the fine, glossy fabric. He seems quite pleased with his work. "Can’t say I’ve ever seen it happen before."
Shen Qingqiu prods at the complex array of binding he’s now found himself caught in. He’s a bit impressed, honestly. What a creative way to use Immortal Binding Cables! He can move rather freely. Running won’t be an issue. Though, wouldn’t it have been easier to wind the rope around his torso…and if they really plan to eat him later, won’t this be troublesome to unwrap him?
"What’s the reason for this?" Shen Qingqiu asks, hands still roaming his own chest. Really, how does one learn how to do something like this? So intricate! So secure!
"No reason at all." Cue that devilish smile. "Just wanted to see how you’d look."
"And who should this one thank for their…services?" Shen Qingqiu isn't in the habit of being in the presence of someone all day without knowledge of their name. It’s only polite. He also needs to know who to cast a hex on in case he survives this whole ordeal.
"He Xun," the demon says. "Just He Xun".
Shen Qingqiu hears the telling thump thump thump of an approaching threat. Something big-footed and fast. They’re on him in the next minute, leaping from the shadows and grabbing Shen Qingqiu by the legs. They both go tumbling down. His opponent is furry, but without armor or shields of any kind. So when Shen Qingqiu kicks them into the nearest tree, tears the arrow from his back, and pierces it right into the estimated location of the heart, they go down. For good.
That’s one less enemy. But Shen Qingqiu can’t imagine how many more are on his tail.
‘The Villian Halo, remember the Villian Halo…’ Shen Qingqiu scours the corpse for a weapon of any kind. All he finds is an alarming amount of fangs and claws as long as he is wide. He grabs a hold of one and snaps it free from the knuckle with a satisfying crack. And would you look at that–now he has a knife.
Shen Qingqiu’s best bet is to run, not fight. He doesn’t have the time to try and undo all the soldiers' hard work from earlier, and swiping at the ropes with his new ‘blade’ proves fruitless. A mightier weapon would work against Immortal Binding Cables. Like…perhaps the sword he brought with him for the intended purpose of protecting himself with?! That would be nice! As it stands, Shen Qingqiu has no clue as to where Xiu Ya is. It could’ve been sold at the market and dragged halfway across the Endless Abyss by now.
If Shen Qingqiu knew he was going to lose all his belongings this early into the journey, he wouldn’t have wasted all that time packing them!
Even his half of Soul Swapping Amulets are missing. Don’t they know the lengths Shen Qingqiu went through to secure those? Zhangmen Shixiong, forgive him for his transgressions…
Shen Qingqiu shakes his arms at the heavens that have forsaken him so. A small chime gathers his attention back to the moment at hand. That’s right. Shen Qingqiu pulls back the sleeves of his crudely torn robe.
Luo Binghe’s ribbon. He’d put in a rush order to have it repaired before leaving for the Endless Abyss. It’s a shame that its original beauty can never be achieved again, but Shen Qingqiu thinks there’s a certain charm to its new ruggish appearance. It’s like Binghe in that aspect. Blackened, but still perfect.
Shen Qingqiu wound it around his wrist for safe keeping. He brings it to his hammering chest. Forget his sword, the amulet–this is all that matters. Shen Qingqiu needs to get it to Binghe, needs to let him know just how much he regrets that day, that decision. Needs him to know just how much Shen Qingqiu has missed him.
Then he needs to get Binghe the hell out of here.
First, Shen Qingqiu needs to get the hell out of here.
He steps forward, determination rekindled.
And stumbles right into a trap.
A net hidden among the debris of the ground snatches him up as if he were weightless. Great. Shen Qingqiu wastes a few precious seconds of time gracelessly hacking at the woven material with his new knife. He’s losing his lead. There’s the shuffling shadows of three more figures moving in on him. Shen Qingqiu slashes away faster and suddenly he’s falling straight to his back, right on his bleeding shoulder and, oh yeah. He forgot about that. Ouch.
There’s no time to lick his wounds. Shen Qingqiu sets off again.
What was moments ago a distant cluster of figures is now an entire ambush. A chain lashes out from behind Shen Qingqiu, encircling his leg and yanking him back. Shen Qingqiu falls elbows first, face second. The impact of his nose against the earth leaves him dizzy and suddenly regretful of every decision that led him to this point. There’s another tug of the chain. Harsh. Eager. This is the end, isn’t it? Shen Qingqiu wonders if he’ll taste better boiled or roasted. All he knows is that his vengeful spirit is going to curse these bastards with the worst case of indigestion known to demonkind.
A hand clamps down on Shen Qingqiu’s ankle. He suppresses a terrified squeal. The perpetrator hesitates to outright capture him; probably too busy drooling over which leg they’d prefer to take a bite out of first–something for the road, maybe to tide them over until the hunt is done and Shen Qingqiu is tied to a stick and rotated over a comically small fire. The demon isn’t prepared for when Shen Qingqiu rolls over onto his back and sends his free foot flying into their face. He kicks with enough force to permanently cement an indent of his heel in their cheek.
The small victory rings hollow against the next tug of the chain that leads Shen Qingqiu to the feet of two more demons. He’s all out of tricks this time. He’s all out of energy.
Shen Qingqiu swallows the taste of copper. Is his nose broken? He’s really not going to look good if his nose is broken and he wanted to look his best for Binghe–
“I was thinking it over,” a voice suddenly singsongs from above. From the sky? No. A tree. Some tree. Any tree. The origin is impossible to locate in the sprawling forest. “He’s too lovely to waste on a single meal. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Shen Qingqiu’s pursuers aren’t given a chance to respond. Both of their heads are severed from their bodies the instant they look up, a passing glare of gold the only indication that anything had happened at all. The demons are quiet as their bodies slump to the ground. A head rolls to Shen Qingqiu’s side, its face caught in an eternal expression of surprise. It’s still warm.
A boot comes charging in, punting the head off into the forest to disgust someone else.
“That hurts.” Shen Qingqiu is too tired to battle the arms scooping him up, but not too tired to complain. He’s never too tired to complain. Airplane can attest to that. Even when the wound at his shoulder is wet and red, and his nose is starting to follow suit. “Could you not have done that earlier?!” He Xun lost his right to formal address the moment he let Shen Qingqiu loose to the wolves. Actually, wolves would’ve been preferable to human-eating demons.
He Xun toes at a nearby corpse, as if there’s any chance it's still alive. “Forgive me. I was still debating if you were worth the trouble.”
“And what is your conclusion?”
“That Uncle Li was right! You are too skinny. Humans eat, don’t they?” Shen Qingqiu sits through a whole round of spinning and one-arm lifting before He Xun is satisfied he made his point clear. No one is safe from Airplane’s perversions, not even the scum villain himself. Of course he’s going to have the most itty-bitty, grab-able waist and most daintiest, delicate arms. It’s not his fault! Did you see the pickle pot the original goods fit into?
Just when Shen Qingqiu thinks He Xun is going to try his hand at shot put with him, he stops. His nose twitches irritably. Like a rabbit. Shen Qingqiu is struck with the need to boop it, the compulsion not all too different from how he feels whenever he sees Luo Binghe’s fluffy halo of curls.
All too quickly, Shen Qingqiu becomes aware of how much sweat he has accumulated in the past hour, running like a madman. He Xun makes a face. Oh god, is it really that bad?
“Do you sense that?” He Xun asks.
Shen Qingqiu gestures down to the Immortal Binding Cables his savior himself tied him in. No, He Xun. He can’t sense that. He can’t sense anything!
He Xun gives him an adorably chastised smile. Don’t–don’t you dare try and act cute to get out of this, young man! Shen Qingqiu will not fall for it!
He Xun bundles Shen Qingqiu closer to his chest. “Something strong is headed our way.”
Oh, how Shen Qingqiu loves vague explanations. Please, tell him less about the possible perilous situation barreling towards them full-speed.
“Oh…” He Xun noses the air once more. Is he perhaps part blood hound? “I see. So it’s him.”
“Who? What?” Shen Qingqiu’s head becomes a swivel, turning this way and that to scan their surroundings. Trees, trees, dead bodies, and yep–more trees. There’s likely to be more participants of the hunt lurking out there as well. If Shen Qingqiu tries, he thinks he makes out a few headed their way. But he has a feeling that’s not what He Xun is referring to. There’s about a million different things in the Endless Abyss that could be considered strong. It would be nice if He Xun could help him narrow down the list.
Shen Qingqiu’s skin pebbles. He can feel it now too, even in his diminished state. “Is it a beast of some kind?”
He Xun considers this for a moment. “Yes,” he decides. “One might say that.”
More cryptic speech. Fine. Whatever. Moving on. Someone–something other than the hunt participants is after them. They need a game plan. “How skilled are you with that sword?” Shen Qingqiu catches sight of a modest blade strapped to He Xun’s waist. It’s nothing grand, nothing like his dazzling Xiu Ya, but anything sharp in the hands of someone capable can be–
“About as skilled as you are at running away.”
Hey. Shen Qingqiu thinks he did pretty damn good for himself. Let’s have you made powerless and running for your life and see how you’d do!
He Xun carefully sets Shen Qingqiu down to go digging in his sleeve. Shen Qingqiu hops between his two feet, trying to determine which one is less likely to be sprained. It feels like both are. Is that–are those…bloody footprints he’s leaving behind? Jesus. When did that happen?
“How good are you with this sword?” It’s not just any sword that He Xun pulls out from his handy qiankun bag–Shen Qingqiu’s handy qiankun bag–it’s Xiu Ya. His baby. Shen Qingqiu snatches his weapon back, holds it close to his heart. Poor thing…stuffed in a pouch this whole time…don’t worry, your master is here now.
Shen Qingqiu rounds on He Xun, ready to accuse him of thievery, but is met with a rather expectant look. Hands on his hips, head tilted ever so slightly to the right–he’s no different than a dog begging for treats.
Or for…protection?
Shen Qingqiu can barely stand. He’s bleeding in more places than he can count, and yet–
“You’re going to make me do all the fighting?”
He Xun shrugs. “I’m a strategist. Not a soldier.” He draws his own sword, angling it down to the two demons he so easily disposed of. “That,” he says, “was a fluke.” He laughs now, like there’s anything remotely funny about this whole situation. “Actually, I can’t believe that even worked to begin with.”
How has this fraud managed to survive so long in the Endless Abyss? This has to be rage bait, right?
“So…so you go around, what—stealing armor and weapons and posing as a soldier for fun?”
“Precisely!” He Xun seems delighted that someone finally understands.
Idiots. Shen Qingqiu is always surrounded by idiots.
“We’re not fighting this threat.” Xiu Ya remains sheathed, tucked into the sash of his robe. Now it’s Shen Qingqiu’s turn to look expectant, arms raised towards He Xun.
“Yes…?” The demon prompts.
“Carry me,” Shen Qingqiu says, like it’s obvious. “We’re running away.” If this thing is as bad at He Xun says, then they don't have time to sit and chat. They don't even have time for Shen Qingqiu to try freeing himself from the Immortal Binding Cables with Xiu Ya. That can wait until they're far, far away.
“Marvelous plan, sweetheart.” Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder screams as he hoisted up far too quickly for his liking.
He Xun is fast. Faster than Shen Qingqiu was. But he’s not fast enough.
“What happened to the other hunters?” There were a handful in pursuit of them previously. Now it seems to be only the two of them in the forest. Them, and their newest guest.
He Xun doesn’t turn back to take a look for himself. And why should he, when the real threat lies ahead of them, combusting into existence right before their very eyes. A catastrophic pulse of qi ripples throughout the entire forest, nearly flattening every tree.
The Endless Abyss is quiet, as if every creature burrowed underground to escape the wrath of the beast.
“This lowly one requests that He Xun remove his hands from Shizun.”
Shizun.
It’s not the hearty, devoted ‘Shizun!’ Shen Qingqiu would come to hear every morning, at every meal, every lesson and mission; nor is it the cool, confident ‘Shizun’ of a much older, much bolder Luo Binghe. It’s an entirely new flavor. Rich and dark and tinged with a dangerous undercurrent that not even Shen Qingqiu can recognize.
All this time worrying over how he was going to find Luo Binghe, just for his disciple to impress him as always. Going above and beyond and finding Shen Qingqiu instead.
Luo Binghe is both power and beauty incarnate. His face is a painting, every stroke culminating into a visage that could destroy cities, topple empires. The harsh line of his brows and his seething gaze brings a distinct sharpness to his almost feminine face. With full lips, dark lashes, and a soft nose–Luo Binghe is almost as pretty, if not prettier, than every woman in his harem combined.
He’s dressed in a way Shen Qingqiu has never seen. Not in real life, not in fan arts or dreams. If Shen Qingqiu dreamed about Luo Binghe. Which he totally doesn’t.
Black robes with dancing threads of silver along the edges, bright like sword steel. Across his chest, a fitted black plate of armor. Billowing from his shoulders, a floor length cape, the interior fabric drenched in red, starting at a stark shade of scarlet and fading to a deep burgundy. A single silver charm hangs from one ear to match the draping chains and tassels across his chest and waist. Tall black boots. Long black gloves. A mysterious sword strapped to his back.
And the most startling accessory of all: Xiao Huo. Stationary on Luo Binghe’s arm.
It’s not the demon mark, the iconic black curls, or even the familiar title of Shizun that identifies the protagonist for Shen Qingqiu. It's those eyes, dark and starry, and staring right at him. He’s seen those eyes plead and cry, seen them shine, seen them widen in horror as Xiu Ya is pulled from his chest, a hand pushing him down, down, down–
“Binghe–”
And Luo Binghe is looking at him. Really looking at him. His face lights with a quiet kind of rage, his huadian glowing and illuminating his features in all their brilliant, furious glory. It’s the kind of reaction Shen Qingqiu expected. So why does it hurt so much to see? It feels like a physical blow to his chest, like his breath has been punched out of him.
Does he run? Does he grovel? Does he fight?
No, the answer is to stare at Luo Binghe stupidly.
It must be a diversion tactic of some kind, for Luo Binghe to look so–to look like that. It stalls his enemies, leaves an opening for attack. It can’t just be Shen Qingqiu who’s frozen to the spot at the sight of him, right?
He Xun certainly isn’t. He steps forward, smug in the way Shen Qingqiu is beginning to realize is his default personality. “Luo Binghe, you’ve crossed territorial lines. Are you always so quick to start a war?”
Luo Binghe snarls. “You have something that is mine.”
These two know each other? Shen Qingqiu was too busy raging about Xe Hun playing pretend at being a soldier that he forgot to ask what He Xun really is.
With ogle worthy strength, He Xun transfers all of Shen Qingqiu’s weight to one arm, the other arm raising towards the sky as he releases a burst of qi. It shoots upwards, exploding like a firework. Just as Shen Qingqiu was beginning to wonder what the hell that was about, there's the rhythmic thumping of footsteps coming their way. It’s a uniform march, hundreds of thousands of steps crowding in on them in the decimated forest.
Shen Qingqiu sees the first soldier crest the horizon behind He Xun. An archer, followed by an entire brigade of soldiers is the same onyx armor as He Xun. And that’s just one of the groups approaching in the distance.
An army at his disposal. It would appear that He Xun is someone important.
Luo Binghe takes a step forward. The earth shakes beneath him. The army draws nearer. Shen Qingqiu feels like his hair is going to fall out from stress. “Release. Shizun.” He demands behind gritted teeth.
He Xun looks down at Shen Qingqiu as if he forgot he was there. “Do you know this demon?”
Know him? Shen Qingqiu raised him! “Yes!” he says, startled by the intensity of his own voice.
“Then you know that it is not safe for you to go with him,” He Xun grips him tighter.
“I believe that is for me to decide.” And Shen Qingqiu has decided. He wants to go to Binghe. As if there were ever a choice to be made here. He will always pick Luo Binghe. Even if it means certain death.
He Xun is not pleased by this answer. He parries all of Shen Qingqiu’s attempts at escape, his arms firm as stone around Shen Qingqiu.
“Let me go!” Shen Qingqiu beats at He Xun’s chest with his fist until his knuckles are red. He’s had a wonderful time trapped and gagged in a cage and then hunted for sport, truly. But it's time for them to go their separate ways now.
He Xun’s demonic markings are growing, crawling down his face and disappearing beneath the neckline of his robes. His body’s automatic response to a threat. He’s preparing for battle. “I went through all this trouble to keep you safe. I am not going to stop now, darling.”
When did He Xun become Shen Qingqiu’s biggest supporter? He doesn’t even know Shen Qingqiu’s name! And what’s all this fighting for anyways? What war? His sweet Binghe would never start a war.
Shen Qingqiu debates between clawing at He Xun’s eyes or elbowing his chin, but Xiao Huo beats him to the punch. The Fury Falcon launches from Luo Binghe’s arm, wings spread as he swipes at He Xun with his beak. It’s less of an attack and more of a distraction, a timely one that allows Shen Qingqiu to wiggle his way free. He barely registers the pain from his fall to the ground. He has medical supplies, he can stitch himself back together later. But right now–Binghe’s here, he’s so close. Shen Qingqiu scrambles to his feet.
Xiao Huo is off again, having left a sizable scratch across He Xun’s handsome face. He dives towards the approaching army, feathers alight as they sweep past the ground, casting a barrier of fire to keep them at bay. The flames do little to deter the archers. Corralled to the front, they notch their arrows and release.
Shen Qingqiu’s been shot at enough times today as it is. But hey, what’s a few more arrows? As long as he can reach Luo Binghe. He just needs enough time to apologize. Who cares after that? Let him die Yue Qingyuan style, pierced by a thousand arrows.
Shen Qingqiu could almost mistake Luo Binghe as that young child once more, eyes wide and watery as he reaches for his Shizun. But just before their hands can meet–Shen Qingqiu hears it hissing towards them. Towards Binghe. A single arrow, ahead of the rest. On track to nail Luo Binghe right at the exposed skin of his neck. No–! He can’t let it–
Protecting Luo Binghe is like muscle memory for Shen Qingqiu. It isn’t a question of whether or not to throw himself into the line of fire, it’s can he do it fast enough. And he can. It feels like Deja Vu, The sharpened end of the arrow planting itself into his back, and aw–isn’t it nice of them to not hit him in the same spot twice? Only 998 more from here!
“Shizun!”
Shen Qingqiu isn’t as strong as the sect leader. It really might just take two arrows to beat him. How pitiful. He could have at least gotten to ten!
Luo Binghe falls from where Shen Qingqiu pushed him out of the way, but his hands are like grappling hooks, latching onto Shen Qingqiu and taking him down with him. A whole bed of bouncy hair and solid muscles for Shen Qingqiu to drop into. Which he does. Happily.
“Sh–shizun?” Shaking hands travel up Shen Qingqiu’s back, past the torn robes, the Immortal Binding Cables, right to the arrow that’s made itself comfortable in Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder blade. There’s an awful sound wretching free from Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu hears it rumble his chest and claw it’s way out his throat. Did–did Binghe get hit too? Was there another arrow he missed? There are dozens of them pinned to the earth around them. One might’ve–
“Binghe, are you alright?” Shen Qingqiu can’t think, can barely breathe, but he has to know. His little bun. He’s okay, right? He’s going to be okay? Shen Qingqiu is slowly realizing that he himself might not, but what does that matter? As long as Luo Binghe is safe.
There’s blood. There’s so much blood on Binghe. Why is there so much blood?
Oh. It’s his blood.
It’s been a long day. Shen Qingqiu just wants to rest. He can’t help it, his eyes dipping shut like the lazy flap of a butterfly’s wings. Even when Luo Binghe is crying, shaking him, begging him to stay awake. He can’t–he really can’t.
Shen Qingqiu’s vision swims. Darkness descends over his consciousness, the last sound to leave his lips the sound of Binghe’s name.
Notes:
Confused by He Xun ping-ponging to different roles every five seconds? Yeah me too. It will all make sense eventually. I hope LOL (yes, he talks very modern, yes it's a product of Airplane's lazy writing and not mine)
BINGHE IS HERE!! We'll see his POV next chapter. he's so fun to write bcs there's always that feeling of "there's something deeply wrong w this dude" anytime you hear his inner monologue. My bipolar princess...never change <3
Would also like to note that I've never had caviar??? idk if it even tastes good but when I think of fancy food, that's the first thing that comes to mind so i was like sure SQQ would taste as good as caviar.
Happy BTS reunion to those who celebrate. BTS been gone so long I went and got obsessed with SVSSS smh
Chapter 3: CPR
Summary:
But this isn’t a kiss. The same way administering CPR isn’t considered kissing. This is a life saving endeavor! Shen Qingqiu is only reciprocating because he has to.
Notes:
It's been three weeks already?!!! Yeesh. Sorry y'all. My last fic was almost entirely written while I was at work when I had nothing better to do. Then I girl bossed a little too close to the sun and got a promotion which means I actually have to work at my job. God forbid. I'll try my best not to take so long to update next time. Thanks for being patient!!
I'm not sure if this chapter even makes sense, but I promise I have the entire plot outlined and eventually everything will come together (I hope). Lots of LBH POV in this chapter. I love how he exclusively calls SQQ "Shizun". Reminds me of the time when I was first seeing fanart of svsss and I legit thought SQQ's name was Shizun. Did that happen to anyone else LOL
Okay enough yapping. Here's the chapter. Enjoy <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It is divine intervention. Luo Binghe knew. From the very beginning–their beginning, with a bottle of medicine and a poor imitation of his master’s scowl–he knew that Shizun was meant for him. And the universe knew it too. Why else would it have sent Shizun here? To Luo Binghe. To the Endless Abyss. Dressed in the color of love, of fortune, of fate.
Shizun is as breathless as he is breathtaking. Passing twigs and branches might have left his hair in disarray and his robes in near pieces, but isn’t it better like this? The Shizun of Luo Binghe’s upbringing was a kind, saintly immortal. Unblemished. Untouchable. At seventeen, Luo Binghe could only watch his master and mourn the passage of time, for it was always too slow for his liking.
He was made to watch others covet what he knew was rightfully his. Lui Qingge stomping into the Bamboo House with ridiculous excuses about ‘missing fans’ or ‘rare demon sightings’. Yue Qingyuan was no better with his feeble attempts at conversation with Shizun, using a name that was never his Shizun’s to begin with. If the Sect Leader truly adores Xiao-jiu so much, he’d find much better use of his time locating this Xiao-jiu of his than bothering his Shizun, yes?
But now Shizun is here. Tangible, reachable, flushed and panting–what could be more lovely?
It’s a shame, for this miracle has come too soon. Luo Binghe still has work to do in the Endless Abyss. It’s not ready yet for Shizun, but if he is here, what use is there in turning him away?
‘The human realm is no longer a place for you. You ought to return to the place you belong,’ Shizun had once told him, Xiu Ya vibrating from where it stood mere inches from his heart. Luo Binghe could not refute this, not when the proof of his heritage burned like a brand against his forehead. He is a Heavenly Demon. He belongs in the Endless Abyss.
But Shizun belongs with him.
Therefore, it must be Luo Binghe’s duty to tame the Endless Abyss. Purify it. Make it a place worthy of his Shizun. An empire united under Luo Binghe’s hand, the likes of which the human and demon realm have never seen before.
The betrayal, the banishment–it’s all a test. Luo Binghe was sent here to prove his devotion to Shizun. That became clear to him one day when a letter he’d sent on the back of a Fury Falcon went unanswered, when Shizun never came to rescue him. It’s a test. It's a test. It has to be. What other explanation could there be?
“Binghe–”
A split lip and a bloody nose paint Shizun’s mouth a fetching shade of red. Luo Binghe is transfixed. He was to bring those lips close, lick them clean.
But the red–the blood–it’s everywhere. Luo Binghe can smell it. Even the red robes his Shizun wears are unable to hide it. When the Fury Falcon came to him, deep within the eastern deserts of the Endless Abyss where he and his men were still struggling to secure the land under his kingdom’s rule, he’d known of the dangers Shizun was in. He'd come as quickly as he could. That wasn’t enough. Now Shizun was hurt because of him.
The anger is all encompassing. It beats against Luo Binghe’s chest, a vicious, wild thing begging for release. He feels it contort his face, sees it reflected in Shizun’s horrified stare. He’s scaring him. That wasn’t–he didn’t mean to–
Luo Binghe could blame the demons hunting Shizun, but they’re already dead. He’d chased them down in the forest. Picked them off one by one until the last plebian was running for his life, just as they’d force Shizun to do. What was he to do with the final survivor? Shizun may want to enact his revenge himself, but no one would relish more in such a thing than Luo Binghe. He wants to make it slow.
Death by a Thousand Cuts? No. Too easy. Why cut when he can carve? Rip off each strip of leathery skin and feed it to them, since they were so hungry to try and have a taste of his Shizun to begin with.
The demon tried to fight him. He had spears with metal tips that reeked of poison. The kind that wouldn’t kill Shizun. Not outright. It would only slow him down, make him easier to catch, easier to eat–
And suddenly all thoughts of torture were put to rest. The demon’s head imploded from where it was held between Luo Binghe’s hands. Ah, he let his anger get the best of him. Shizun would be so disappointed.
But there is someone else readily available to take the mantle of Luo Binghe’s rage. He Xun looks more pompous than ever, standing there with Shizun hostage in his arms. Luo Binghe has faced him in battle countless times before. Unfortunately, he is not the only one trying to conquer the Endless Abyss. His current campaign is thwarted by the enemy kingdom growing in the west. The kingdom that employs the so-called talents of He Xun as their army commander and strategist. A royal family member who got too bored watching from the sidelines and decided to join the brawl.
He Xun, the scum, does not look at Shizun and see what Luo Binghe sees: a partner, an equal, a future. He looks at Shizun and sees dinner. He is biding his time. Waiting for the opportune moment. For as they say; the harder you work for a meal, the better it tastes.
"Luo Binghe, you’ve crossed territorial lines. Are you always so quick to start a war?”
He Xun has never been much of a combatant. He prefers to hide behind the safety of his army, a coward in king’s clothing. But he is correct. Luo Binghe is encroaching. Lines had been drawn, names had been signed–but how can a territory treaty stand against Shizun’s safety? There is nothing of higher importance. Luo Binghe will deal with the consequences later. It’s not as if he was letting He Xun and the fools he calls ‘family’ claim ownership on that land for long.
Words are exchanged. Luo Binghe remembers not what he said, but how he’d felt. Taunt, like a guqin string plucked one too many times. Any moment now and he was certain was he going to snap.
And then Shizun is struggling against He Xun. Everything happens in quick succession. One moment Shizun is free and running towards him, and the next, he’s shoving Luo Binghe to the ground. Luo Binghe hadn’t meant to grab him. He had tried his best not to, but Shizun was so close. Luo Binghe wanted him closer. Shizun is his. To have and to hold. Or was it, to have and to hoard?
The arrows were no more than buzzing insects in need of swatting to Luo Binghe. What harm could a measly weapon like that bring to him? He should’ve known better. Shizun has demonstrated many times in the past how willing he is to endanger himself for Luo Binghe’s sake. Five years have done little to dull that instinct.
The arrow lands. Shizun gasps, the enchanting green of his eyes perhaps lost for good as he clenches them shut. Never to look at Luo Binghe again; to sparkle, to sharpen, to smile. Shizun smiles with his eyes and attacks with his voice. He is talented and wise. He is invincible. He is–
He is falling.
Shizun’s weight is a cause for immediate concern as he collapses atop of Luo Binghe. Too light. Much too light. Does anyone know how to cook on Qing Jing?
But there are matters far more demanding of Luo Binghe’s attention.. “Shi-shizun?” Luo Binghe’s hand comes back wet from where he places it on Shizun’s back. The sweet scent of Shen Qingqiu’s blood is overpowering. Luo Binghe thinks he might be sick. Too much, too much, too much–how much blood can a human afford to lose?
“Binghe, are you alright?”
Luo Binghe had plenty of time to himself to think in the previous five years, warping idle ideas into fits of insanity. One such fit had him questioning if Shizun changed in the half decade that marked their separation. Luo Binghe certainly has. No change could ever be great enough to dispel Luo Binghe from Shizun’s side, but he’d worried. Tore through all his nails and pulled at his hair as he considered the possibilities. He was no longer that young, righteous cultivator. Would Shizun still care for him the same? Would Shizun still love him? Was Luo Binghe still worth loving?
What a childish notion. Of course Shizun’s kindness would never waver. Did it have to take him bleeding out in Luo Binghe’s arms for him to finally understand? Perhaps Luo Binghe is still that dumb, naive child in need of guidance. Maybe he hasn't changed at all. He still needs his Shizun. He will always need his Shizun. So Shizun–he isn’t allowed to leave him. Not even in death. Luo Binghe won’t allow it.
Another round of arrows come hissing their way. They disintegrate by the sheer force of Luo Binghe’s qi before coming within ten feet of him.
Luo Binghe forces himself upright. Shizun is kept close, cradled to his chest, pressed to his heart so he might hear how it beats. A reminder to his own sluggish pulse to keep going. Just a bit longer.
He Xun’s forces are advancing. Xiao Huo, the once useless bird, is proving his worth and stalling them as much as he is able. Luo Binghe doesn’t have time today to watch He Xun pretend to be a soldier as he hides behind his army lines. His punishment for placing Shizun’s life at risk must, regrettably, be postponed. Luo Binghe needs time to clean the torture chambers at his palace anyways.
Shizun makes a soft, painful sound. His face, pale as a fish’s belly, nudges further into what comfort Luo Binghe’s robes can provide. Luo Binghe presses a kiss to his hair.
Just a moment more, Shizun.
The ground is jagged and cold when Luo Binghe slams his hand down onto it. A crack appears from beneath his palm, splitting the earth and creating a fissure that travels further and further behind him until it collides with the base of the volcano sitting content a short distance from his current location. The eruption is instantaneous. A pillar of lava bursts from the summit, releasing a torrent of blazing projectiles their way. The rivers of lava running like loose threads across the Volcanic Riverlands overfill and spill across the terrain. He Xun’s soldiers turn to run, but it’s too late. Luo Binghe basks in the symphony of screams that rise like the heat around him, lost to the plumes of gray smoke overtaking the sky. He thinks this is only fitting for them. It would be a shame if He Xun perishes here with his men. Not when Luo Binghe has so much planned for him.
Luo Binghe nearly mistakes Xiao Huo for a piece of flying magma as he comes diving towards them. He screeches, landing on Shizun’s chest. The gentle prodding he gives Shizun’s cheek goes unacknowledged. He tries again. And again. And again. Nothing.
“He’s barely breathing!” Xiao Huo is suddenly in his human form, grasping at Shen Qingqiu as if to remove him from Luo Binghe’s arms. Foolish brat. Luo Binghe growls, reaching for his sword. He’d believed the Fury Falcon to be an ally and here he is, trying to take Shizun away–
“...Binghe.” Shizun’s mumble is like a passing breeze. Quick and quiet, then gone. It ushers Luo Binghe back to his senses. He looks down at Shizun despairingly. What is doing, wasting precious time like this?
“We are leaving. Come if you wish.” Luo Binghe expects that Xiao Huo will want a reward for reuniting him with his beloved. His entire kingdom knows of his Shizun. If the mural painted across the main hall of his palace weren’t telling enough, the countless stories and rumors circulating his territory do a good job of letting everyone know just who will be ruling beside Luo Binghe in the years to come.
Xiao Huo pats out a fire that caught on his sleeve from flying embers. It won’t be long before this whole place ends up buried underneath a sea of lava. He tightens the headband slipping from his forehead. “I know a safe place. Follow me.”
✦✦✦
Shen Qingqiu has spent a grand total of two days in the Endless Abyss, and already he’s tired of caves. He wakes, eyelids heavy as he stares at the stalactites dangling like icicles above him. At least it’s not a cage this time. In fact, Shen Qingqiu takes that back. He loves caves. Because he can actually move and stretch and stand up in them. How novel!
The black robe that had been so thoughtfully placed over Shen Qingqiu slips to his lab as he eases himself to a sitting position. Bad idea. Shen Qingqiu groans; it feels like his brain is trying to physically break out from behind his skull. And his vision–everything is fuzzy and dark, but oh well. Seeing was overrated anyways.
The last thing Shen Qingqiu ought to be doing is standing up to explore, but he does just that. Can’t keep a good man down.
Shen Qingqiu putters about, the warm robe he’d awoken with now pulled over his shoulders like a blanket. The black stone of the cave walls is lava rock, informing Shen Qingqiu that he must still be somewhere in the Volcanic Riverlands.
Correction. Him and Binghe must still be in the Volcanic Riverlands.
Subconsciously, Shen Qingqiu reaches for his back. In place of the arrows are three sloppily applied bandages. That couldn’t be Luo Binghe’s handiwork. He isn’t capable of doing anything short of perfect. And what reason would he have to help his despicable Shizun anyways?
Xiao Huo then? Perhaps they are considered even now, having patched up each other's wounds.
But what about Binghe? That was an army he faced off against. He must be hurt. Who made sure his injuries were seen to?
A wife, no doubt. Seeing Luo Binghe as an adult–well, he has to have a harem exceeding the double digits by now. Who could one be so greedy as to have a husband like Binghe and not share? With a face like that? It’s incomprehensible!
It was probably Luo Binghe’s first companion in the Endless Abyss, Wife number thirty-three, who lovingly nursed him back to health. Right here, in this very cave. They probably had been sitting close, and she was probably too engrossed in her task to notice the sharp growth above her breaking off from the ceiling, but oh! Wait! Luo Binghe would push her out of the way and land on top of her. They would look each other in the eyes and Luo Binghe would lean in towards him–her, Shen Qingqiu means her–and well, Shen Qingqiu has already read that chapter before. No need to go over all the nitty gritty details.
Shen Qingqiu flinches at the echoing click click click of footsteps from the cave entrance. They’re getting closer. A straggler from the hunt? Sorry, demon hunter. You’ve got the wrong address. There’s no half dead human in here ripe for the picking. Go on now, turn around and pretend you never saw him.
But it’s not a hunter. It’s worse.
“Binghe.”
Shen Qingqiu’s back meets harsh stone as Luo Binghe slams into him. His newly treated wounds threaten to tear open again, ruining all of Xiao Huo's efforts. Oh. Has Shen Qingqiu’s time come to an end already? Why is he so surprised? Luo Binghe no probably spent every day of the last five years plotting this exact moment. Who is Shen Qingqiu to deny him his rightful revenge?
He thought,stupidly he had thought, that maybe they’d get a chance to talk–
“Please, Binghe–” Shen Qingqiu hates how he chokes on his words, how his surroundings become nothing more than a wet blur, how he grabs Luo Binghe tighter. Holds him one last time. “Just make it quick.”
Luo Binghe is not listening. His face is smothered against Shen Qingqiu’s neck. Inhaling, filling his lungs to near bursting with the smell of Shen Qingqiu. Of bamboo and ink and sweet chamomile. Every exhale that follows is but a euphoric sigh around the word ‘Shizun’.
Shizun, Shizun, Shizun.
Here’s here. He’s safe.
He can’t stay.
Luo Binghe hadn’t considered it then, ecstatic over Shen Qingqiu’s return. He hadn’t considered much of anything with Shizun, except how to best whisk him away to somewhere more accommodating to Luo Binghe’s initial itinerary for the day he and Shizun where to unite. Somewhere private. With a door that locked and a bed they wouldn’t leave for at least two days.
There was a plan. There were steps Luo Binghe was taking.
The demon realm has already fallen into corruption, too many factions vying for power in absence of a true ruler. Many demons had heard what progress Luo Binghe has made here already and come to join the cause, plunging into the Endless Abyss and pledging themselves to him. Such as the likes of his second-in-command, Sha Hualing. He has an army. He has a growing kingdom. He has half the Endless Abyss under his rule. He needs the rest in order to begin the purification. That will take the slaughter of every abyssal beast to clear the realm of such potent ying energy. Only then will the land heal and become somewhere viable for humans.
It will take years. Decades. But what is time to an immortal such as himself? He and Shizun will have an eternity together. Luo Binghe wanted to make sure that their new home was perfect for his Shizun’s arrival.
But none of that matters. Because Shizun is here. Now. And Luo Binghe is not ready for him. Their home is not ready for him. If he stays here for too long–
It might just kill him.
“Shizun, you mustn’t stay here.”
Shizun appears to be gathering his thoughts. His face is pinched in confusion, an adorable crease forming between his brows. He bites his bottom lip; blithely unaware of how badly Luo Binghe would like to bite it too. His hand on Shen Qingqiu’s waist spasms. He catches himself teetering forwards. It would be so easy. A small peck, or perhaps, something longer and deeper–whatever Shizun would let him get away with.
Luo Binghe always thought he was patient. He had five years of waiting to prove it, but five seconds alone with Shizun say otherwise.
“Did Binghe not…ask for me?” Shen Qingqiu fiddles with his wrist. He unfastens the ribbon tied there, presenting it to Luo Binghe before realizing how embarrassed he should be. This silly little scrap of ribbon is laughable compared to Binghe’s current splendor. His shining earrings, all those chains and tassels. The fancy armor? Come on, what was Shen Qingqiu thinking, bringing something like this? He wants to fling it out of the cave, let it disintegrate in a pool of lava somewhere.
Luo Binghe takes the ribbon before he has the chance to.
“Shizun received my letter?” He says, voice swelling with awe.
“Apologies, Binghe. I left as soon as I could–”
Luo Binghe laughs. The stylish silver guan in his hair is torn out with little to no regard. Shizun has reunited him with one of his most treasured belongings. How could he dare to wear anything else? “I was so foolish back then, thinking Shizun would come to rescue me.”
“I…I did come.” Shen Qingqiu watches Luo Binghe tie the ribbon in place. He gathers his hair loosely at the neck, a few curls springing free to sweep past his jaw. It’s a gamble, one that could very likely cost him his hand, but Shen Qingqiu finds he doesn’t care all that much as his fingers quietly approach and tuck those playful brown locks behind Luo Binghe’s ear. He hears a sharp intake of breath. Was that him, or Binghe? Shen Qingqiu’s not sure, his thoughts caught in an endless loop of wonder as he studies Luo Binghe’s face.
So handsome. So tall! Who told Binghe he was allowed to sprout up six inches like this? How is Shen Qingqiu supposed to give him head pats now?
Ah, he’s getting distracted. Shen Qingqiu goes to pull away, but Luo Binghe catches his hand.
“I am honored by Shizun’s arrival. However...” Luo Binghe’s head dips, eyes cast to the ground so he won’t have to witness the way his next words will attack his sweet, sweet master.
“I sent that letter five years ago.”
Shen Qingqiu shakes his head. “No. No. I received it just the other day.” He seems to be panicking now, the words tumbling from his mouth and gaining speed with each second. “Xiao Huo, he came to the Bamboo House and…and I found the scroll.” Luo Binghe is so hopelessly endeared by the way Shen Qingqiu closes his eyes as if to better focus on his memories of that day. “There was the ribbon and the message written in blood. I–Xiao Huo never said it was–”
Luo Binghe guides Shen Qingqiu towards an embrace. There’s no logical explanation for the noise he makes when Shen Qingqiu whimpers into his chest. His heart must have grown wings and risen up his chest and towards his throat to suffocate him.
“I made Xiao Huo open a rift. I was trying to find you when I was captured.”
“I know, Shizun.”
“If I had known earlier–”
“I know, Shizun. I understand.” Shizun missed him! He wanted to visit him, no doubt worried over his well-being after receiving such a letter.
If Shen Qingqiu had a fan, he would’ve wacked him. “You don’t! Binghe, you have to know that I never wanted to send you away. I had to, there was no other choice.”
[WARNING! User Shen Yuan must not reveal the existence of the System or thus be transported back to his original world.]
Shen Qingqiu bites his tongue. He wasn’t prepared for this. How could he justify pushing Luo Binghe into the Endless Abyss? He has to think fast.
Fortunately for him, Luo Binghe’s delusions have done a fine enough job explaining Shen Qingqiu’s actions on their own.
“I do understand, Shizun. Forgive this disciple for being so imprudent.” He had been an immature child then. Heartbroken over his Shizun’s betrayal. He hadn’t realized what an incredible opportunity Shizun had granted him.
It is a common practice in demon courting culture to complete grand feats in order to endeavor oneself to their intended mate. It comes in a myriad of forms. Some build shrines or palaces, others hunt for food to create a feast fit for an emperor. Killing bothersome enemies is a popular choice as well. Entering a dangerous, desolate realm and taming it for the sake of establishing the future kingdom for you and your spouse? Luo Binghe could not picture a better engagement gift. And to think, Shen Qingqiu came up with this all on his own! It’s a terribly romantic idea. Luo Binghe can’t believe he didn’t think of it first. Much better than his plan to strew the bodies of Shen Qingqiu’s other suitors across the bamboo groves of Qing Jing Peak.
Shen Qingqiu was simply abiding by the demonic practice because he is so very thoughtful like that. Of course he is. He must’ve known from the beginning of Luo Binghe’s cursed heritage. He’s accepted him.
“Binghe, wait. Listen to me. Please.”
Luo Binghe has that look in his eyes. The same peculiar look he’d get when Shen Qingqiu would request an afternoon alone, just to rest and relax and Luo Binghe would nod in understanding, only to plant himself firmly in the center of the Bamboo House to ensure no one interrupted his Shizun’s ‘alone time’.
He’s just not getting it. He just thinks he is. Like a dog that brings you a dead bird and acts confused when you start screaming.
“Shizun must give me more time. He must wait in the human realm until the Endless Abyss is ready.”
Ready? Ready for what?
Luo Binghe nuzzles at Shen Qingqiu, mindlessly, as if this is something they do all the time. And Sizun lets him. He must be as bothered by He Xun’s lingering stench as Luo Binghe is–one might even mistake Shen Qingqiu as that bastard’s mate with the way he’s drenched in the smell of him. That won’t do. Luo Binghe had not spent years subtly marking Shizun with his scent, staking his claim, just for it to be overridden by the next demon to come waltzing by.
Shen Qingqiu is too busy trying to piece together the information he’s been given into something coherent to notice Luo Binghe rubbing against him, purring like a cat. His lips skid past Shen Qingqiu’s ear, whispering, “We are finishing up our offensive in the eastern deserts, and then I will lead our forces against the western kingdom. Once the land is ours, the purification can begin. This lowly one begs Shizun remain patient a few years longer.”
War. Purification. Luo Binghe is trying to…fix the Endless Abyss? Is that even possible? System?
[Congratulations! User Shen Yuan has discovered the new storyline: Conqueror of the Abyss. Please continue to support the Protagonist’s endeavors to achieve maximum Satisfaction and B Points! ✺◟(＾∇＾)◞✺]
Well. Shen Qingqiu screwed up something in this transmigration, that’s for sure. First the harem, now the revenge storyline. What’s next? Is the System going to try and tell him that Binghe is gay or something?
[...]
[Good luck, User Shen Yuan (¬_¬")]
This is too much. Shen Qingqiu hasn’t eaten anything, but he’s certain he’s about to throw up. Or maybe that’s the blood loss catching up to him. His legs have decided they’re all done working for the day and give in, his knees buckling. Luo Binghe must’ve anticipated this. He sweeps Shen Qingqiu off the ground, one arm around his back, the other beneath the fold of his legs. Princess carry. Nice. Shen Qingqiu thought this was reserved only for the wives. He’s a bit too happy to be given the honor. Now before you get on him, it’s not because he wants to be held. He was curious, that’s all. Every poster of Luo Binghe and his wives included one impressively busty woman being lifted like this. Has Shen Qingqiu wasted one too many hours imagining how it would feel; the warmth, the firm press of muscles–yes. Yes, he has. But he took a purely intellectual interest in the subject! Nothing more!
Shen Qingqiu thinks further study might be required. He Xun used the same method of carrying and Shen Qingqiu was thoroughly unimpressed. But with Binghe it’s different. How strange! There has to be a scientific explanation for this. Shen Qingqiu runs his palm over the planes of Luo Binghe’s chest. His armor and outer robe have been removed, leaving Shen Qingqiu with a perfect sample batch to examine. Impressive. Is it the disparity between their muscle mass? Luo Binghe is so slender. Where does he hide all that strength…
Luo Binghe doesn’t mind the groping. In fact, he basks it. Is Shizun happy with his transition into adulthood? As a disciple he’d once had the nerve to ask Shizun if he found Luo Binghe ‘pleasing to the eye.’ He’s tempted to bring the question up again, if only to hear what his Shizun’s answer would be now.
Luo Binghe sits, maneuvering Shizun onto his lap. It might not be the most comfortable position, but Luo Binghe can’t bear to let Shizun lay on the bare ground.
“Shizun has strained himself far too much.” He pauses, pink rising to his cheeks. Shen Qingqiu wants to pinch them. Cute. Too cute! “May I examine Shizun’s wounds?”
Shen Qingqiu nods. He’s suddenly nervous as Luo Binghe parts his robes. His little lamb is very clinical, very professional with it. A far cry from the bodice ripping often described in the original novel. He’s still wearing the red ensemble He Xun provided him with before the hunt. And worse, the Shibari ropes are still in place. A few threads had been cut to treat his back, but he’s still caught in the web of red. So much for the 'dependable savior' style he was going for. Now Shen Qingqiu looks like some pervert.
Luo Binghe traces a singular claw across the winding thread, mapping its path across Shizun’s body. It’s beautiful–Shizun could make a trash sack beautiful–but it’s not Luo Binghe’s work on display. Therefore, as enticing as they are, the cables must be removed. If Shizun is so fond of the art of bondage, Luo Binghe is more than willing to test his own skills on the subject at a later time.
Luo Binghe’s claws make quick work on the Immortal Binding Cables. He shreds them with an intensity he really should be saving for the next time they happen upon a pack of Hellhound Hyenas. Conserve your energy, Binghe! Have you learned nothing about surviving in the Endless Abyss? You can’t slack off now that your Shizun is here to save you, you know!
Luo Binghe then bundles the scraps neatly into his hands to incinerate them with his qi. Jesus. Shen Qingqiu thought the protagonist was supposed to be kinky. He could’ve saved those for one of his wives!
Shen Qingqiu's qi comes flooding back into his system, a cooling balm to his aching body. He feels a bit of damage to his meridians; he wasn't able to filter out the poisonous air of the Endless Abyss before it entered his body, bound as he was. He's left with small, irreparable damage to his qi. Nothing major. A seclusion session in the Ling Xi caves will surely restore him to his original condition. As for his external wounds-it is nothing a little time and rest won't fix.
It’s unnecessary for Luo Binghe to run his hands over Shen Qingqiu’s chest, stomach, and back, massaging at the red indents left behind by the ropes. Shen Qingqiu tries to state as much, but Luo Binghe isn’t having it. His methods of persuasion haven’t changed one bit. Those big, starlit eyes of his blink up at Shen Qingqiu imploringly, shining with the very real threat of tears if a single syllable of refusal makes it out of Shen Qingqiu’s mouth. Then comes the begging. ‘Please, Shizun’ and ‘it’s no problem, Shizun’. And what is Shen Qingqiu supposed to do? Say no?
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t moan, but that doesn’t mean he’s exactly quiet as Luo Binghe’s fingers work their magic. Is there a master masseuse that Luo Binghe studied under In the Endless Abyss? Shen Qingqiu quivers as those deft hands skitter up his ribs, counting each prominent ridge.
“Shizun has lost weight,” Luo Binghe isn’t sure he achieves the casual tone he’s going for.
Shen Qingqiu chortles. “What was this master supposed to eat with his favorite cook missing from the kitchen?”
“Shizun hasn’t eaten all this time?” Appalling. Cultivators of Shizun’s caliber can rely on inedia, but it is not recommended. Especially for so long.
Hordes of men vying for Shizun’s hand, yet not a single one had thought to cook for him. There’s a reason why Shen Qingqiu chose him.
“Worry not,” Shen Qingqiu assures his wobbly-lipped disciple. “Your Shizun ate in your absence.”
“Not enough,” Luo Binghe counters.
“Not enough,” Shen Qingqiu agrees.
They’ve both had a hand in suffering during their time spent apart. Shizun starved while Luo Binghe slaughtered. Funny, how grief chooses to manifest itself.
Xiao Huo had promised to patch up the worst of Shizun’s injuries while Luo Binghe cleared the cave of any threats upon arrival. If Luo Binghe knew what poor of a job the Fury Falcon would do, he never would’ve allowed him to touch Shen Qingqiu in the first place.
“Shizun must know his injuries are…worse than he might’ve imagined.” Red has already begun to seep through his bandages. Three arrows. Three wounds. Three instances where Luo Binghe failed to protect him. And he dares to call himself Shizun’s mate.
Shen Qingqiu gives the three holes in his flesh the same amount of concern he gives to an accidental papercut. “It is nothing.” He’s made it this long, hasn’t he? “Your Shizun will heal in no time.” Really, Binghe. There’s no reason to look at him like that. What’s a few scars to a cultivator like himself?
“If Shizun is amenable, I have a remedy that will ensure Shizun’s immediate recovery.” Luo Binghe’s hands have yet to halt in their trajectory across Shen Qingqiu’s body. At times there is more squeezing and fondling than Shen Qingqiu deems appropriate in a massage such as this, but Binghe would know what’s best! Maybe he’s trying to encourage better circulation. Yes, that must be why he won’t stop kneading at Shen Qingqiu’s waist.
“Blood Parasites?”
That catches Luo Binghe off guard. His hand freezes from where it had begun the climb up from Shen Qingqiu’s collarbone to his neck. “Shizun is aware of a Heavenly Demon’s capabilities?”
Caught in the act. Shen Qingqiu grapples for a suitable lie, but instead settles for the truth.
“This Shizun of yours makes it his business to know all that he can about Binghe.”
Luo Binghe doesn’t respond. Not verbally. But Shen Qingqiu swears he feels something poking him from where he’s seated on Luo Binghe’s lap. Wasn’t Luo Binghe carrying his sword on his back earlier? When did it move to his waist?
Luo Binghe swallows. “Does–does that mean…is Shizun willing–is such an idea agreeable to him?”
What’s with all this stuttering? Luo Binghe, where did all that confident suave go? Is feeding him blood really so nerve-racking? Your Shizun promises to make it quick. It will only take a couple of drops.
“So long as Binghe is comfortable, I hold no reservations.”
Comfortable is putting it lightly. Luo Binghe is all but vibrating with eagerness.
Shen Qingqiu guesses it will be a cut to the palm, maybe the wrist. Something small and easy to reach. To bite his tongue and lip, to launch forwards and seal his mouth against Shen Qingqiu’s–it’s a bit unorthodox, but Shen Qingqiu supposes it will have to do.
He has to ingest the blood, obviously. That’s Shen Qingqiu’s only reasoning for parting his lips and allowing Luo Binghe’s tongue to venture inside his mouth. The metallic taste of blood is an afterthought, a detail in his peripheral not worth noticing. Luo Binghe’s lips crashing into his own, his hands on Shen Qingqiu’s bare waist, his curls twisted between Shen Qingqiu’s fingers–that’s all Shen Qingqiu can concentrate on.
Luo Binghe is thorough. Just as his Shizun always taught him to be. He goes harder, further, longer than what Shen Qingqiu would think is needed to get the job done. He takes Shen Qingqiu by the chin, slowly tilting his head for better access, better pressure. And Shen Qingqiu–well, he’s all the more an obliging participant. Whatever Binghe needs!
But this isn’t a kiss. The same way administering CPR isn’t considered kissing. This is a life saving endeavor! Shen Qingqiu is only reciprocating because he has to. Opening his mouth wider, tugging Luo Binghe closer–this is all for Binghe’s sake. To make it easier for him. It must be difficult, forcing himself to commit such intimate deeds with this worthless, old Shizun of his.
Shen Qingqiu next exhale tapers off into a deep moan. That…uh, yeah. That was for Binghe’s sake as well. Encouragement! Everyone needs a little encouragement. How else would Luo Binghe know he’s doing a good job? A fantastic job, really. So fantastic, that Shen Qingqiu’s beginning to forget why Luo Binghe’s trying to gnaw his lips off in the first place. Who cares how it all started, just so long as it never ends.
You know, the way everyone feels about, um, CPR…
As Shen Qingqiu’s luck would have it, Luo Binghe is showing nary a sign of stopping or slowing down. “Shizun–” he whines, tongue scaling up to the roof of Shen Qingqiu’s mouth. Only when he is sure he’s mapped out every inch inside does he pull away. The lower half of Shizun’s face glistens with a fresh layer of blood. It’s such a lovely color on him.
Luo Binghe is a dutiful disciple. He goes to clean his mess, lapping at Shen Qingqiu’s face like the dog he is. Shizun’s eyes are a bit glazed as Luo Binghe wraps a hand around his neck, thumbing at the slight protrusion of Shen Qingqiu’s Adam’s Apple.
“Swallow,” he says.
Shen Qingqiu does. Luo Binghe feels his throat bob, satisfied.
The Blood Parasites immediately begin their work, stitching Shizun back together one cell at a time.
“Apologies, Shizun,” Luo Binghe finally says once the boiling heat in his guts reduces to a manageable simmer. He shifts, so as to not bother Shizun with the laughably obvious tenting of his pants. That can be dealt with later. Luo Binghe isn’t so desperate as to disbase his Shizun’s honor by lying with him in a place like this. That can wait until they reach his palace in the south. Their first time should be special, after all.
Shen Qingqiu feels like his mouth is still trying to catch up with his brain. His wet, red, swollen mouth. Goodness. It was all or nothing when it came to the Protagonist’s physical prowess. A simple smooch simply wouldn’t do, huh?
Though, Shen Qingqiu is a tad worried. Nevermind what he might’ve said before…he was pretty hurt, right? How much of Luo Binghe’s blood does he need? Was that enough? Should they keep going, just to be safe?
Luo Binghe is staring at Shen Qingqiu’s lips, no doubt debating the same thing.
They might’ve repeated the whole ordeal one, two, fifteen times over had Xiao Huo not chosen this exact moment to make a timely arrival.
“A-Qiu!”
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know any A-Qiu. Who’s A-Qiu? Certainly not him! Now, come here, Binghe. Let’s pick up where we left off–
Xiao Huo goes diving between him and Binghe, and now Shen Qingqiu feels guilty. Xiao Huo went through so much trouble to go fetch Binghe for him, and to help defend them from He Xun’s army. He deserves a little spoiling.
Before Luo Binghe can wring Xiao Huo’s neck, he’s morphing to his original form, trilling happily as Shen Qingqiu bestows him with both pets and praise–Luo Binghe’s two favorite things.
“Xiao Huo was so very brave,” Shen Qingqiu coos, kissing at his beak. “Thank you for your help.”
Damn bird. Luo Binghe is going to pluck each one of those colorful feathers and serve Fury Falcon stew as their next meal. Wasn’t he supposed to be busy, searching for food? Luo Binghe stomps over to the entrance of the cave where a bloody pile of demon entrails sit. Absolutely not. He marches back over, grabbing Xiao Huo by the leg and dangling him upside down.
“You fool, Shizun cannot be expected to eat such filth!” Not only would eating the corpse of an abyss beast fall below the hard deck of Shizun’s standards, it could kill him!
Shen Qingqiu calms him with a touch to his shoulder. “I have brought human food with me.” He holds up a qiankun bag. “There is plenty to share.”
As if Luo Binghe would take food from his Shizun’s mouth. Not when edible options in the Endless Abyss are so very limited. There may be plants, a few livestock that wander into an open rift, but aside from that–nothing. Shizun must ration what little he has. Just until Luo Binghe can get him back to the human realm. Even then Shizun can’t be trusted to eat! Ah, if only Luo Binghe could go back with him.
Luo Binghe trifles through the pouch. There’s not only food, there’s dishes! Shizun had come prepared. Yet, there is one object inside Luo Binghe doesn’t know the use of.
“Shizun,” Luo Binghe says curiously, holding up the necklace to better study the large, red stone at its center. “What is this for?”
✦✦✦
Shang Qinghua quite enjoys playing the part of Shen Qingqiu. It’s like a transmigration inside of a transmigration. Real Inception shit. But this time, his assigned role is much more pleasant one. That’s because being Shen Qingqiu is like being a god. Or a prince. Or like, a really spoiled cat. Take your pick. Either way, they’re all better than being the An Ding Peak Lord. He’s going to milk his new privileges for all their worth.
First on the list: paperwork. Ming Fan completes it without Shang Qinghua having to ask. Amazing.
Next up is the pampering. Ning Yingying is all the more happy to serve him sweets and play with his hair for hours on end. They’ll gossip about secret disciple romances and Peak Lord drama.
“Did you know that two girls at Xuan Shu confessed to one another?” Ning Yingying will look both ways before leaning in to divulge more. “Rumor has it Qi Qingqi is arranging their marriage as they speak, but the girls must wait until they’re both of age…”
Lesbians? In his stallion novel?! That’s not possible.
Though, neither is a gay Luo Binghe. In that case, Shang Qinghua supposes a few scissoring sisters isn’t the worst thing to happen to his dear novel. Alright you two. You’re off the hook.
Lastly, there’s the resting. Shang Qinghua has slept more in two days than he has in two weeks. He’s never felt more refreshed. Breakfast is ready and waiting for him the moment he opens his eyes. Shen Qingqiu gets to live like this everyday? Such a packed schedule of constant babying. Where does he find the time to be a raging bitch to Shang Qinghua?
Yet, for all these pros, there’s one undeniable con.
“Liu-shidi’s services are not needed today.” This is the second time Liu Qingge insisted he clean the Bamboo House. And for what? To steal some of Cucumber-bro’s robe to sniff at later? No thank you. Shang Qinghua refuses him entry, just as he did before.
Except this time, when he goes to close the door, he’s not quick enough. Liu Qingge rams his foot into the doorway, impeding any attempts at locking him out. Shang Qinghua waits, but Liu Qingge says nothing. Just stands there with his boot pinned painfully between the door and the frame.
He’s not leaving anytime soon, huh?
“Would shidi like to come in for some tea?”
More silence. “...yes,” he eventually replies.
Yue Qingyuan is no better. He’ll summon Shang Qinghua to Qiong Ding, citing important sect business, yet all there is to do when he arrives is sit and eat whatever feast their Zhangmen-shixiong pretends to have not set up solely for the sake of his visit.
Then Shang Qinghua has the wonderful idea to fake an illness. Nothing serious. Just something that can bar visitors and keep him cooped up in the Bamboo house until Shen Qingqiu gets back. But that plan backfires when Mu Qingfang catches wind of his shixiong’s mystery ailment. It doesn’t take long to have him knocking at the door, pleading Shen Qingqiu let him in so he can help. Ming Fan and Ningying succeed in shooing him away for the time being, citing that their Shizun is resting and not at all eavesdropping from inside.
The next day ‘Shen Qingqiu's’ health is magically restored.
So far, Cucumber-bro's harem was shaping up to be something manageable. For the time being. And it would’ve stayed that way if not for Mobei-jun.
“Why have you not reported to the palace?”
It’s toe-numbingly, teeth-chatteringly cold when Shang Qingqiu startles out of his sleep. Throwing a bucket on ice water would’ve been a kinder wake-up call. He’s in Cucumber-bro’s bed, but the physical alteration talismans have retired for the night. Drawing his knees to his chest, Shang Qinghua wraps himself in a reasonable three layers of blankets before attempting to speak.
“My king!” He cries. “Wh–what brings you here?”
“Why have you not reported to the palace?” Mobei-jun repeats. Right. That. Shang Qinghua was due for a visit to the north. A quick meeting to update his kings on all things spy related. He totally forgot. And to think, his king would cross so far into enemy territory to berate him! He must really be pissed.
Mobei-jun is pissed. But for a entirely new reason now. “Why are you in another man’s bed?”
“Oh! Now that I have an explanation for! You see, I’m disguising myself as Cucumber-bro–”
“Luo Binghe’s mate?” During their first meeting at the Immortal Alliance Conference, Mobei-jun had thought it was odd that the Heavenly Demon had so boldly chosen a human, a cultivator of all things, as his mate. Yet here is, years later, finding himself in much the same position.
Shang Qinghua nods enthusiastically. “Yes, yes! Him. So I have these talismans to alter my appearance.” He grabs a few from the pile on his nightstand. Proof! See, he has proof! “Just until Cucumber–Shen Qingqiu returns. It’s only for a few weeks.”
Mobei-jun does not approve. “Why burden yourself for their sake?” he asks.
Why indeed! Because he’s an idiot, that’s why! “Ah, my King. This is all to please Luo Binghe. You wouldn’t want to upset a fully realized Heavenly Demon.”
“You should not aim to please anyone but me.”
Shang Qinghua stutters through a nervous laugh. Careful there, Mobei-jun! Or Shang Qinghua might think you’re actually flirting with him! “It’s only for a little longer.”
“Mhm. See to it you return to me when you are done.” And just like that, a shadow portal opens and his King is gone. Mobei-jun leaves behind nothing but a faint dusting of frost on all Cucumber-bro’s belongings and a horrible, churning feeling in Shang Qinghua’s stomach. Because it’s not ‘a little longer’. It’s gonna be a hell of a lot longer than either of them would like.
And where’s that update Cucumber-bro promised him? If he’s dead he needs to let Shang Qinghua know so he can figure out how to survive as a runaway for the rest of his life.
This was a horrible idea from the start. Shang Qinghua never should have agreed to this shitshow. He hopes that someone is happy with this whole ordeal. Because it definitely isn’t him.
✦✦✦
Luo Binghe is happy. Luo Binghe is so happy he can’t sleep. Can’t close his eyes. Can hardly blink. Not when Shizun is snoring ever so softly at his side, curled towards the heat of his body.
Shizun was exhausted, although that didn’t keep him from arguing that he wasn’t. After devouring the largest meal he’s had in years, he’d eventually given in and settled on the make-shift bed Luo Binghe prepared for him from the supply of blankets and pillows he’d brought along.
An unusual choice of items. Those, and the seven different fans Luo Binghe found digging through his Shizun’s qiankun bag. But Shizun has always been a creature of comfort. Silk robes, soft sheets, warm tea–Liu Qingge used to scoff at what he called Shizun’s ‘frivolous nonsense’ without realizing that nonsense was the exact thing that would win Shizun over.
Shizun won’t admit it, but he wants to be pampered. And who could see to it that Shizun leads a life of cushiony indulgence, other than the one who spent years preparing his late night cravings, running each of every one of his salt steam baths, dressing him in all his finery? Luo Binghe doesn’t understand why his brute of a shishu even thinks he has a chance at Shen Qingqiu’s hand. What does he do for Shizun, exactly? Kick down doors? Grunt his way through conversation? Please. Luo Binghe bets he doesn’t even know his way around a good foot massage.
Xiao Huo took the first guard shift, which means Luo Binghe also took the first guard shift because he doesn’t trust that birdbrained fool to keep Shizun from getting kidnapped again.
Or so, that was the idea. But all plans of devoted vigilance at the mouth of the cave scattered the moment Shizun lifted his blanket in invitation, insisting that ‘demons need rest too.’
Luo Binghe practically dove into the bed.
That was three hours ago. Shen Qingqiu mumbles something into Luo Binghe’s chest, huddling closer until his eyelashes tickle at Luo Binghe’s skin. Luo Binghe’s teeth ache with the need to gnaw or bite Shizun. He settles for leaving fang imprints on his own closed fist.
Shen Qingqiu’s mouth is slightly opened, lip slightly puckered. Luo Binghe had been too forward before. How is he to sit here and do nothing when he’s vividly aware of how those lips taste? It is a torture too sweet to bear.
But he will.
Luo Binghe cannot allow himself to be distracted. He can’t fantasize about leaving the Endless Abyss behind. Running away with Shizun to a world where the only thing he can give to him is his unwavering love. Shen Qingqiu deserves a kingdom, a throne, and a life of luxury that would earn him even the envy of the gods. Luo Binghe is so close. He cannot give up now. He won’t.
“mhm…Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu rouses awake one sense at a time. First it’s touch, arms heavy and warm around him. Then there’s that distinct scent. Something like amber and fern with a hint of leather. Tender, but tough. In the silence of the cave, he hears the dragging of breath, just shy of panting. Smacking his lips where he swears he can still taste the faintest traces of Luo Binghe’s blood, Shen Qingqiu opens his eyes.
At this time of night, the murky red skies of the Endless Abyss have turned to a fathomless black. Shen Qingqiu can hardly make out anything more than two feet from his face. Thankfully, Luo Binghe elected to sleep with his face two inches from his own. No losing track of anyone this way–good thinking, Binghe!
He’s awake. Even more, he’s staring. His glowing red eyes and huadian the only thing visible in their cave-turned-airbnb. Truly a jumpscare worthy scene, one that might’ve sent any normal person into cardiac arrest. Shen Qingqiu however…
“Binghe should be resting.” Even in total darkness, he finds a head to pat.
The two of them have limited time together before Shizun must leave for the human realm, and he expects Luo Binghe to waste any of it sleeping?
“I wish Shizun could stay,” Luo Binghe admits, his voice a light whisper; as if he and Shen Qingqiu are children at a sleepover, swapping scandalous secrets under the bedcover.
Shen Qingqiu rubs the sleep from his eyes. They’ve had this conversation a million times now since dinner, when Luo Binghe revealed he would not be returning to the human realm with Shen Qingqiu. The reprimand Luo Binghe received was far worse than the one Xiao Huo endured for taking five years to deliver a simple letter.
“Five years?!”
“A-Qiu…” Xiao Huo was contemplating which form of his could look more pitiful, and went with his human appearance. Because then he could cry and make Shen Qingqiu feel bad. He sniffs loudly, pretending Luo Binghe and the withering glare he sends Xiao Huo from behind Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder don’t exist. No time for distractions! Xiao Huo really needs to sell this performance if he wants to sneak his way back into Shen Qingqiu’s bed tonight. There’s only room for one other body to fit beside Shen Qingqiu in that pile of blankets. And it’s going to be him. Xiao Huo hides his face behind his sleeves, shoulder shaking at the force of his fake tears. He peeks at Shen Qingqiu from over his fingers. Was that too much? Too little? He can do this all night if he must.
Luo Binghe scoffs. Xiao Huo’s nowhere near as cute of a crier as he thinks he is. Luo Binghe will show him how it’s really done.
“I’d thought I’d lost my ribbon for good, my most precious gift from Shizun. The only thing keeping me going.” Xiao Hou is honestly impressed at how well Luo Binghe sells his act. The glistening eyes, the pouty lips, the slight raise of his voice. It’s just the right amount of pathetic. It’s stupid, but–
“Oh, Binghe…” Shen Qingqiu ushers him into a hug.
It’s working???
Xiao Huo dries his tears. Clearly, they’re useless in the face of such a master manipulator. No emotions, then. Stick to logic.
“Qing Jing Peak is a formidable stronghold! A-Qiu must know how difficult it was to make it past your sect’s defensive barriers.”
Shen Qingqiu concedes to that argument, albeit rather begrudgingly. He’s still upset. Xiao Huo has lost his A-Qiu’s favor for the time being. But he’ll be damned if lets Luo Binghe have it.
“Why be mad at this one…Luo Binghe is the one A-Qiu should truly be upset with. He isn’t even planning on returning to the human realm with you!” Of course Xiao Huo read the missive Luo Binghe discreetly asked he send to his war generals still fighting in the eastern desert. He bid them continue their duty; something important had arisen and would require his utmost attention for the time being, but not to worry. He would be back on the front lines soon.
Luo Binghe stiffens. So does Shen Qingqiu.
“Binghe…" he begins. "What does Xiao Huo mean by that?"
In lieu of an answer, Luo Binghe leaves for a moment and returns with two tantalizing bowls of food fresh from the fire Xiao Huo lit in the cave. "Dinner is ready, Shizun! Eat with me? "
"Don’t change the subject!"
Xiao Huo breezes past, snatching the serving clearly meant for Luo Binghe who now has bigger problems to deal with than petty thievery. Ooh. Flesh-feasting Snake Rat! His favorite! He scarfs it all down as the two argue about finding a sword or what not. Luo Binghe’s on the defensive, preaching something about duty with bold proclamations of “I’ll come back for you.”
Xiao Huo munches away merrily. Sure! Go ahead, Luo Binghe. Take another five years to finish purifying the Endless Abyss for Shen Qingqiu. He will have married A-Qiu by then.
The fight hadn’t so much ended as it was postponed. Luo Binghe agreed to search for Xin Mo under his Shizun’s guiding hand. Shen Qingqiu would just have to convince Binghe to join him on the trip back to human civilization before they find it!
“Sleep,” Shen Qingqiu tells him, half asleep himself. “We have a long journey starting tomorrow.”
“Yes, Shizun.” Luo Binghe does not turn and close his eyes as Shen Qingqiu imagined he would. If anything, his staring grows more intense, his grip tighter–wait a second. Why are you holding onto your Shizun in your sleep anyways, hm? Sure, it's dark. But it’s not like he’s not gonna go missing if Binghe’s not physically attached to him in some way. Ease up!
Luo Binghe is entirely capable of ‘easing up’ when it comes to Shen Qingqiu. “Shizun…” he drawls, just when Shen Qingqiu thought he’d shut up for good. What time is it anyways? Shen Qingqiu blindly knocks a hand over Luo Binghe’s face the same way he’d knock the snooze button on his alarm. But it’s hard to drift back to sleep when Luo Binghe’s toying with the string that keeps his robes in place. Watch it, young man. Shen Qingqiu will not be held liable for any trauma induced by seeing his withered, old body should that string be pulled an inch further.
“Before we leave the Volcanic Riverlands, it would be a shame not to indulge in its…attractions.”
“What attractions?” From what Shen Qingqiu was told, Luo Binghe practically destroyed the Volcanic Riverlands and his enemy kingdom’s furthest eastern territory when he triggered the volcano’s eruption. There’s not much left here, even for eager tourists like himself. “Where will we be going?”
Luo Binghe gives the string one final yank, exposing Shizun’s torso to the chilly night air just so he can warm it back up with his hands. He thumbs at the hem of Shen Qingqiu’s robe. “Somewhere where Shizun won’t need this.”
Notes:
Delulu land. Resident (1): Luo Binghe. Guys he's so unwell. Coming up with this whole narrative bcs he couldn't cope with SQQ betraying him...it's okay baby, I maladaptive daydream too <3
S/o to SQQ for being the only man who could go from "he's going to kill me" to "I think I need to make-out with LBH a little longer actually" in less than ten minutes flat. You're an inspiration to us all, king.
Why didn't LBH immediately remove the Immortal Binding Cables and use his blood parasites to heal SQQ after he was shot? I'm glad you asked!! It's because–*runs away*
(It's bcs I wanted to write a sloppy, bloody make out scene OKAY? Happy now?)
Next chapter: hot springs and our first ever Soul Swapping incident hehehe
Thank you for reading!!!
Chapter 4: Infatuation Value
Summary:
'Emergencies only' Cucumber-bro had stuck a finger in his face to make sure he was listening (he wasn't). They should've gone over what exactly was considered an emergency. Because to Shang Qinghua, this is a code red. And you know what? That's reason enough for him to initiate the swap. So he does. From fingertips to stone, his qi lights up the red stone of the Soul Swapping Amulet.
‘Hopefully this isn’t a bad time for you, bro.’
Notes:
Remember when I said I was gonna try to NOT take three weeks to update with a new chap?? haha yeah me neither. This thing definitely needs another round of editing but I fear I will be shaking ass at the club tonight so I'm posting it now. This is a dumb chapter. This whole fic is dumb I'm so sorry I really do be just writing whatever. This fic does have an overarching plot, I swear! There's a whole war going on but I like writing about Bingqiu in a hot spring more. We'll get into the politics later. For now, enjoy whatever this is <3
Also, quick s/o to everyone who comments and kudos I love y'all sm we are best friends now
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“This one does not understand why he cannot join.”
It is a short, mildly dangerous walk to the underground volcanic hot springs, a true delicacy Shizun must be made to experience before they embark on their journey for this illustrious ‘Xin Mo’. Shizun was confident in the sword's abilities of space manipulation, capable of teleporting it's chosen user between realms. Perhaps even dimensions. But it's not as if any other dimension has Shizun, so why would Luo Binghe waste his time visiting them? Easy access to the human realm, now that is something Luo Binghe is interested in. He must find a way to collect Shizun from Qing Jing Peak once the Endless Abyss is safe and the wedding preparations are complete. A week's worth of celebration will do. Any less would be an insult to his future empress.
Xiao Huo peeping on his Shizun in the hot springs would also be an insult to his future empress.
“My generals in the east are expecting me. You must deliver my message.” They could spend all day bickering over this, but Luo Binghe does not have the time. Shizun will be back soon, and he still hasn't perfected his case. He'll only have one chance to convince Shen Qingqiu that bathing in the nude is actually more medically beneficial than bathing in clothes. The healing waters will have direct contact with Shizun's skin, and so will Luo Binghe's greedy hands. A victory for both parties. Surely Shizun will understand.
Xiao Huo bristles. “This one does not recall joining your army.”
Ah, that's right. He hasn't. That is because Xiao Huo was too busy taking half a decade to deliver a single message to be bothered with the war desecrating his homeland.
Luo Binghe smothers his anger about that specific point so as to better focus it on another. “Would you rather take your efforts to the western kingdom, then? To the ones who kidnapped and hurt Shizun?”
Xiao Huo’s mouth twists. Who was the one fending off He Xun’s army, hm? Do Heavenly Demons have horrible a memory to go along with their horrible personality? It's times like these that make Xiao Huo scratch his feathers as he tries to pinpoint what merit his A-Qiu sees in this half breed that he does not. It must be his looks. A-Qiu, how shallow! Don't you know a pretty face isn't enough to cover up an ugly attitude?
“How will this one know you will keep him safe?”
Luo Binghe’s anger is a physical thing, lighting up his eyes and huadian and filling the cave with a nauseating sludge of qi. “You dare presume I would endanger Shizun as you have? I will protect him.”
From abyssal beasts, maybe. But who’s going to protect A-Qiu from him?
“Binghe, are you ready?” Shen Qingqiu tiptoes out from the small alcove he disappeared into to change, stripped to one layer of gossamer silk. He figured that was appropriate for the xianxia version of hot tubing. His hair? He wasn't sure what to do with it. It was giving him trouble, the way it always does when he doesn't have someone else at the ready to style it for him. He had no choice but to wear it in the kind of messy bun every Wattpad girl used to throw her hair into before she came down for breakfast to discover GASP her mom sold her to One Direction?! Shen Qingqiu huffs, blowing free the black strand that attached itself to the corner of his lip. “Xiao Huo! You’re still here!” The early morning sky is a dusty pink, soon to fade into a deep red as the day progresses. It’s the safest time to travel. He assumed the Fury Falcon had taken his leave already. Luo Binghe quoted Xiao Huo’s departure as a necessity to ‘oversee domestic affairs’. Shen Qingqiu fiddles with the Soul Swapping Amulet laying flat and heavy against his chest, remembering just who was the one to help him retrieve it. Oh, Xiao Huo. Always working so hard to help others, isn’t he?
“He was just about to leave, Shizun.” Luo Binghe happily reports. He angles his head towards the bird, smile tight with warning. “Weren’t you, Xiao Hundan–”
“It’s Xiao Huo.”
“Right.” Luo Binghe doesn’t seem to have heard him, too busy musing over the generous curves of Shen Qingqiu’s figure as he bends down to inspect the rippling, teal water of the closest spring. Lecher. Xiao Huo was ogling too, but in a much more respectful way.
Both of them snap back to attention as Shen Qingqiu straightens his back. “Many thanks, Xiao Huo, for helping Binghe. You have my gratitude.”
How is Xiao Huo supposed to stay after that? “Yes, A-Qiu. This one will return soon. Very soon.” Sooner than Luo Binghe would, that’s for certain.
“See to it that you return with one of my Shadow Steeds,” Luo Binghe adds.
Xiao Huo might not be the brightest demon, but he can count. “Don’t you mean two Shadow Steeds?”
“No,” Luo Binghe denies, hand worming its way to Shen Qingqiu’s waist the same way he’s going to worm his way into sharing a horse with Shen Qingqiu for the remainder of their trip. “Just one.”
That bastard. That brilliant, beautiful bastard. “Understood, Junshang.” Xiao Huo bows to hide his grimace. Looks like he’s part of the southern kingdom’s coalition after all.
“Will he be alright?” Shen Qingqiu sees brave, little Xiao Huo off. It’s a shame he won’t get to enjoy the hot springs as well.
“He will be fine, Shizun. Do not worry yourself.” Luo Binghe offers a hand to help ease Shen Qingqiu into the tantalizing waters below. “Shall we?”
✦✦✦
Liu Qingge is back. And he’s cleaning. Because why not? Shang Qinghua certainly wasn’t going to, and Ming Fan and Ning Yinying have been down the mountain on a mission for the past two days. Things were starting to pile up. Shang Qinghua found Cucumber-bro’ secret stash of shitty romance pamphlets, the kind Qi Qingqi has to confiscate from her peak. Someone keeps spreading them, and Shen Qingqiu keeps pretending not to read them, given their place tucked behind much more appropriate, scholarly literature on his bookcase. In typical NEET fashion, Shang Qinghua consumed all of them in one day, throwing them to the floor as soon as he was finished
He wasted more time going through Cucumber-bro’s extensive closet, every set of robes getting its turn in the spotlight as Shang Qinghua walked it down the runway of the living room and posed to himself the vanity mirror.
“Me? In love with my own disciple?” Shang Qinghua flicks open a fan, practicing a theatrical gasp at his reflection. “Never. I just spend every waking moment thinking of him and longing for him. Do you know how handsome my Binghe is? Not to mention he’s got this gigantic co–”
“Shen Qingqiu!”
“Ah, Liu-shidi. Hello.”
Liu Qingge nagged him over the state of the Bamboo House until Shang Qinghua gave in, wordlessly handing him Ming Fan’s broom. Demon slaying must be getting too easy for Liu Qingge if he’s choosing to spend his time attacking dust mites and ink stains instead.
From there, it's simple. Shang Qinghua does what Cucumber-bro would. He sits pretty at his desk, sipping tea he didn’t prepare while watching someone else do the hard work around him.
Liu Qingge finishes before Shang Qinghua’s tea can completely cool. What takes Ming Fan hours only costs the Bai Zhan War God a mere thirty minutes of his time. He didn’t do…the best job. Liu Qingge shoved too many books on one shelf, and not enough on another. He wrinkled Shen Qingqiu’s robes as he wrestled them into the wardrobe, and returned from the river with Shen Qingqiu bedding nearly ripped to shreds from where he scraped it across the washboard one too many times. But the house is clean and Shang Qinghua didn’t have to do it, so who is he to complain?
“Thank you, shidi,” he says, ignoring the way Ming Fan’s broom sits against the wall, bent in half from Liu Qingge's aggressive sweeping.
Liu Qingge crosses his arms, dropping into the empty spot next to him. “So?” he prompts.
“So?” Shang Qinghua parrots.
“Does this mean you accept?”
Accept what, that Liu Qingge is a piss poor maid? “Sure.”
“You–” Red rushes up Liu Qingge’s cheeks, his ears, his whole face. He fumbles with his hands, fumbles with his words as he tries to look Shang Qinghua in the eye without combusting. “You really mean it?”
Pause.
What’s Shang Qinghua missing here?
[Would User Shang Qinghua like access to our newest feature ‘Harem Management’?]
Would you look at that, a System update. Maybe it's something useful this time. Shang Qinghua mentally selects the ‘confirm’ option and waits as the green screen walks him through a series of bullshit terms and agreements (User Shang Qinghua must not inform User Shen Yuan of such feature, User Shang Qinghua must not purposefully tamper with the gauge value of other party members to increase his own–what is all of this?!) before he’s brought to the welcome page of the System’s newest torture method.
[Welcome to Harem Management!ヾ(•＾▽＾•) Please observe the updated Infatuation Value of each member!]
The System screen extends to display the full list of each and every one of Shen Qingqiu’s many admirers. Peak Lords, disciples, random villagers–is that the Fury Falcon? And who is this purple headed demon dude?
Beside each small pixelized emoticon of their face is a thin red gauge that reads their current Infatuation Value. At the top of the list is-quick, act surprised!-Luo Binghe.
[1st place: Luo Binghe. Infatuation Value–404ERROR. System calculating…404ERROR. System calculating….404ERROR. System–]
[Number too high to compute.]
That's...ominous. Luo Binghe’s gauge is flooded, pushing up against the edge of the System’s floating monitor. Shang Qinghua would be concerned if he knew that Cucumber-bro's Infatuation Value towards Luo Binghe would probably read exactly the same. Psychos.
Just below Luo Binghe, the runner-up, silver medalist with an icon that looks very angry to be there–
[2nd place: Liu Qingge. Infatuation Value: 92%.]
Ninety-two?!
“I’m going for a walk!” Shang Qinghua shoots up and makes a break for the door. This is so much worse than he thought. Liu Qingge is ninety-two percent a simp and Shang Qinghua is one hundred sure he's about to make some big, grand, romantic gesture. Which is cute and whatever, but Shang Qinghua did not agree to whatever third act romcom bullshit is about to take place right now.
“I’ll accompany you.” Liu Qingge is already at the door and worse even, he extends an arm which Shang Qinghua isn’t enough of an asshole to refuse. Chest puffed with pride, Liu Qingge leads him out to the private gardens behind the Bamboo House with its manicured paths, scenic ponds, and low hanging trees that are perfect for shielding the trysts of two young lovers from the outside world and fuck Shang Qinghua shouldn’t have come out here.
Liu Qingge stops to pluck a lily blossom from the water and don’t–don’t you dare brush his hair away and tuck it behind his ear you second rate love interest–
“Thank you, Liu-shidi.” The flower is dripping wet and the stem is too long and already caught in his hair, but he doesn't have the heart to remove it. When did the warrior become such a romantic? Shang Qinghua didn’t write him his way. This is all Cucumber-bro’s doing. Witch!
They continue walking. Shang Qinghua hopes his panicking silence can be mistaken for sagely introspection.
“You stopped visiting the sword mound.”
Fuck, Shang Qinghua knew he was forgetting something. For the love of god, don’t take that as a sign that ‘he’s’ moved on. Shen Qingqiu is so far from moving on that he actually decided to stop moping at Luo Binghe’s memorial, and instead went chasing after him.
“It’s for the best,” Liu Qingge continues. “I told you before. You can always take on a new disciple.”
That line goes over about as well with Shang Qinghua as it did with Shen Qingqiu. What happened to tact, Liu-shidi?
The walk is peaceful. Everything is peaceful with Shen Qingqiu. Is this what Liu Qingge has to look forward to, now that his proposal has been accepted? A slow, peaceful life. Beautiful days spent with a beautiful man. Trips down the mountain. Walks around the sect. Meals under the same roof, bodies tangled in the same bed–there’s so much to do. Liu Qingge doesn’t know where to start.
A ceremony. They should start with a proper wedding ceremony.
And a thank-you letter. Liu Mingyan is owed one. She will be thrilled that all her expertise was put to sufficient use.
Shen Qingqiu is quiet. He’s never quiet. There’s always a plant or a monster or a book he wants to discuss with Liu Qingge in near excruciating detail.
And Liu Qingge is always quiet. Because he always wants to hear it.
Perhaps he is nervous, as Liu Qingge is. This is new territory for both of them.
“What season do you like the best?” What time of year would Shen Qingqiu prefer to marry? Liu Qingge wants to get it right. It must be special. It must be Shen Qingqiu’s favorite.
“Winter.” Nothing like a minor case of frost bite to remind Shang Qinghua of his Ki–wait. Wrong personality. Shang Qinghua throws himself into reverse gear. Okay,think What would pretentious Peak Lord Shen say?
“Uh. I mean…spring. Yes, spring. Spring is all about…flowers.” Wow, flowers and spring. Groundbreaking. “And–new beginnings?” Shang Qinghua tries. And fails. How does Cucumber-bro do this poser shit? It's excruciating. Shang Qinghua is a loser and he acts like loser. That's how it should be.
[Liu Qingge Infatuation Value +1%. Current value: 93%]
Fuck off! Shang Qinghua didn’t even do anything!
Liu Qingge has stopped, finding a pleasant slant of shade from underneath those damn trees Shang Qinghua was just ranting about. Nope, no time for romantic stops on this walk! Keep moving!
“Mh. New beginnings.” He mumbles, all sweet and pink. Shang Qinghua wishes a bird would fly overhead, dropping a white stain on someone's shoulder, or their shoe, or something. Anything, please. Whatever can be done to ruin the moment. A sudden rainstorm? No, no. Wet clothes means things could turn too sexy too quickly. A demonic invasion? Where’s Sha Hualing when he needs her? Should he fake a Without-A-Cure flare-up? Should he run-
Oh. Too late to run. Liu Qingge’s got him by the shoulders now. Tight. And he's leaning in. Almost like he's trying to threaten him, but also like he's trying to-
'Emergencies only' Cucumber-bro had stuck a finger in his face to make sure he was listening (he wasn't). They should've gone over what exactly was considered an emergency. Because to Shang Qinghua, this is a code red. And you know what? That's reason enough for him to initiate the swap. So he does. From fingertips to stone, his qi lights up the red stone of the Soul Swapping Amulet.
‘Hopefully this isn’t a bad time for you, bro.’
✦✦✦
Years worth of tension melts from Shen Qingqiu’s body as he lowers himself into the bright, clear waters below. The spring is lined with slippery black rocks that Shen Qingqiu surely would’ve cracked his skull open on if not for Luo Binghe’s hand keeping him stable. Here at the bank, Shen Qingqiu is able to sit and do his best impression of a mystical mermaid with no trouble. Further towards the center the water deepens to the point where he would have to put his rudimentary swimming skills to use. Doggy paddle probably isn’t an acceptable way for a Peak Lord to swim, so Shen Qingqiu plays it safe in the shallow waters.
He finds a suitable rock to perch on, submerging himself up to his shoulders. He sighs, the sound bouncing off the water and echoing up to the pitched stone ceiling above. It’s lined with a natural growth of night peals, lighting the cave in a soft, dreamy glow. A lovely spot. A lovely date spot, to be exact. Luo Binghe and wife number thirty-three had their fair share of fun here. After the magical waters cured Luo Binghe of his perilous injuries, the two appeased their demonic mating instincts with a few rounds of underwater papapa. Which, honestly, sounds like a horrible time to Shen Qingqiu. Lets' think about it. Everything is wet and slippery, how are you supposed to get a good grip? And that's not mention all the splashing. Nothing sexy about sounding like you're at a swim meet. And what if someone drowned? Maybe Luo Binghe’s Heavenly Pillar is so big it becomes buoyant and can keep both him and his partner afloat. Another prodigious skill of the protagonist.
But why does Shen Qingqiu care? It's not as if things are going to get steamy in here. Well, steamier than a hot spring already is. He's going to keep things normal. He's always normal when it comes to Luo Binghe.
“Binghe, you must come in. It’s–” Shen Qingqiu peers behind his shoulder at Luo Binghe, but one look and his words are turning to bubbles as he drops his head into the water, nearly drowning himself. See? Normal!
“Shizun?” And isn’t that cheeky, the way Luo Binghe acts like he doesn’t understand Shen Qingqiu’s reaction. Standing there in all his shirtless glory, like he isn’t in possession of the greatest body known to man. “Is it to your liking?”
“Y-y-yes.” Comes Shen Qingqiu’s strangled reply. Is he staring? He's totally staring. But Luo Binghe's pecs were staring at him first!
Luo Binghe’s shoulders, his big, beautiful, broad shoulders, sag with relief. “Oh. Good. I was worried the temperature might be too hot for Shizun.”
Right. The spring. Shen Qingqiu figures it’s to his liking as well.
“Come in. Hurry,” Shen Qingqiu orders, because if he has to look at Luo Binghe in nothing but his white trousers for any longer, the water around him is going to start boiling.
It’s not washboard abs or bulging biceps that make Luo Binghe such a treat for the eyes. It’s all in the proportions. He’s perfect, like the Ken Dolls Shen Qingqiu's younger sister used to mash together the faces of while the Barbies watched. He’s slender and smooth, with a perfect pearly smile. They really ought to find a way to replicate and sell a little version of Luo Binghe so that everyone can get to enjoy him.
The hot spring could fit fifty, but Luo Binghe opts for the open spot right next to Shen Qingqiu. Maybe he’s not so good of a swimmer either?
Hands. Shen Qingqiu needs something to do with his hands. Before they start gravitating towards Luo Binghe's back muscles, and next thing you know he's asking Binghe to flex for him. And oh! How did he end up in Binghe's lap? Well, while he's here he might as well get a good feel of those thighs.
Luo Binghe's curls have adopted a slight frizz from the humidity, giving him a fuzzy halo around his head. Adorable. Simply adorable. Shen Qingqiu wants to run his hands through every inch of it. Luo Binghe must feel the same. With a light tug he releases Shen Qingqiu hair from it's bun, hands inviting themselves to Shen Qingqiu's scalp as he scratches it just right.
"Shizun, let me wash your hair for you." Shen Qingqiu’s refusal is caught off by his own voice, the low approving hum Luo Binghe draws out of him as his hands drags down his neck and across both shoulders loud enough to take them both by surprise. The sound is so obvious in such a quiet place, made worse with each repeated echo.
Shen Qingqiu goes very still. He contemplates, and then he catapults. Straight into the deep end. No diving board needed. This time he really does try to drown himself. Maybe if he stay at the bottom of the hot spring for long enough, Luo Binghe will get bored and leave.
It's a no go.
“Shizun!” Luo Binghe cries, dragging an unwilling Shen Qingqiu up to the surface. They’re both breathless, treading the water wildly. But the roles have flipped. Now Shen Qingqiu is the one doing the touching and Luo Binghe is the one trying to keep silent as his master plasters himself against him, pawing at his chest for leverage. His legs have found something to latch onto: Luo Binghe’s waist. He wraps each long limb around around him as he squeaks, “This master is not a gifted swimmer.”
That’s fine. Luo Binghe will swim for both of them. Transferring Shizun to his back where he can better hold onto him, Luo Binghe makes for the edge of the spring.
Shen Qingqiu finds his footing. Too embarrassed to speak, he busies himself with his hair, pushing the wet lumps off his face with what he hopes is a modicum of grace. He feels like a wet rat. Probably looks like one too.
Rat or not, Luo Binghe is transfixed. He sways, as if it's the heat is getting to him, and not his own perverted fantasies of suckling the water out from Shen Qingqiu's dewy skin until he's covered in a field of bruises, all in the shape of Luo Binghe's mouth. He licks his lips, suddenly thirsty. “Shizun is beautiful...” comes the mindless mumble.
Shen Qingqiu almost trips over a rock. He pivots towards Luo Binghe who is (thankfully) a safe distance away, eyes narrowed and blooming red around the edges. What causes them to glow like that, Shen Qingqiu wonders? Luo Binghe creeps closer. The red grows bigger–brighter. Soon he’s in front of Shen Qingqiu, eyes like lava and Shen Qingqiu is ready to melt underneath them.
“So beautiful…” Luo Binghe is unable to keep himself from tracing a blackened claw across his Shizun’s jaw, his bottom lip, towards his cheek and beyond. He spent five years staring at a memory of Shizun, clawing at his head when the image became blurry at the edges. When he couldn’t remember the way his Shizun’s eyes creased when he hid his smile, or the way his cheeks rounded as he laughed. It was torture. Dream constructions were only as good as his memory. He crafted puppet after puppet, failure after failure until Meng Mo delicately suggested he work on recreating the Bamboo House first. For a while after, his dreams were nothing but himself, his home, and a shadow of his Shizun that sat with a fan covering a face Luo Binghe never imagined he could forget.
Time is a powerful thing. Luo Binghe feels he’s spent his entire life fighting it. Moments with Shizun in the Bamboo House where he wished it would slow to a sluggish crawl, moments in the Abyss where he wished it would pass in an instant. Moments now where he wished it would freeze for good.
Beautiful, Luo Binghe says. In some regards, Shen Qingqiu is beautiful. The body he’s inhabiting most definitely is. The original goods may have been many things, but ugly was not one of them. Suddenly the sweet compliment turns sour. Shen Yuan is not an elegant immortal master. Shen Yuan does not have such bountiful, dark hair, such captivating green eyes. He is not tall, not strong, not cherished by hundreds on a mountain sect.
At most, he is a ‘pretty’ boy. Dainty and dull with nothing better to do with all his time than read nonsense novels online. Luo Binghe would not look twice at Shen Yuan. And why should he?
Shen Qingqiu pulls away, but Luo isn’t so easily put out. He is aware of his Shizun’s thin face, fond of it even. He steals a lock of Shizun’s hair, a ribbon of black, and brings it to his lips. “Shizun does not believe me?”
Why is Binghe saying such things in the first place? Shen Qingqiu has not seen hair nor hide of any harem member since entering the Endless Abyss. Is Luo Binghe so starved for romance that he has no choice but to practice his wooing on his Shizun?
“Let me prove it.”
It's an offering to a god. While others might place incense or food, Luo Binghe gives all of himself to Shen Qingqiu; his choice of worship stuck somewhere between throwing himself at Shen Qingqiu’s feet, or manhandling him onto the nearest flat surface. In this case, he settles for some respectful foundling followed by some utterly disrespectful kissing.
Luo Binghe is like a hunter as he corners Shen Qingqiu, his movements deliberately slow as they drag through the water. He’s giving Shen Qingqiu a chance to refuse, to run away. He doesn’t.
Shen Qingqiu knows it’s wrong. To covet the attention of a man who doesn’t belong to him–shouldn’t belong to him. But right now there’s no jealous wives, no time warping dimensions keeping them apart. He wants Binghe to want him. Even if it’s something as shallow as this. Luo Binghe has likely been alone for half his time in the Endless Abyss, and fighting a war the other half. He must be desperate for companionship. The physical kind. And Shen Qingqiu is desperate for Luo Binghe’s attention. Because if he wouldn’t notice Shen Qingqiu is his world, at least he notices him here. Now. Alone. In a hot spring, with few clothes, and fewer chances of being interrupted.
Luo Binghe makes contact first, his hand to Shen Qingqiu’s elbow, but it’s Shen Qingqiu who summons the courage, who stumbles forward, who grabs Luo Binghe by the shoulders and–
“Shen Qingqiu?”
Shen Qingqiu blinks past the fulgid flashes of light in his vision, feeling very much like he’s going to be sick all over Liu Qingge’s shoes.
Hold on. Liu Qingge?
Shen Qingqiu’s head snaps up, nearly colliding with his shidi’s chin. Birdsong. Bamboo. And is that sunlight he feels? Never mind all that. He can breathe again. Really breathe, without constantly cycling his qi, worrying about poisonous toxins doing him in. Shen Qingqiu sighs.
He’s home.
He’s…in Liu Qingge’s arms?
“Are you…alright?” Liu Qingge’s concern paints itself in rigid lines across his forehead. He drops a hand down to Shen Qingqiu’s wrist, reading his qi. Except it’s not Shen Qingqiu’s qi he’s feeling, it’s Airplane’s. Because this is Airplane’s body, pretending to be his, with his soul thrown into it. What a mess.
“Your qi. It’s…off.” And leave it to his trusty shidi who never once missed a monthly meridian cleansing to notice the difference.
Shen Qingqiu pulls his arm back, hides it in his sleeves. “Yes. I haven’t been feeling well lately.”
“Mu-shixiong mentioned you were sick. Are you sure you’re all better?”
Sick? What, did Airplane drink all his wine in one night and vomit over every inch of the Bamboo House?
“I’m fine! Just–just a bit weak. I’m sorry.”
“Come back to Bai Zhan with me. I will help you recover.”
That’s nice of him. But why would Shen Qingqiu go all the way to Liu Qingge’s peak when his own home is just a hop, skip, and a jump away?
Liu Qingge ducks his head, kicking at a pebble and accidentally leaving a miniature crater in Shen Qingqiu’s garden. Silly shidi. Shen Qingqiu will have Airplane fix that later.
“Apologies. It is tradition for the wife to enter the house of the husband, but I shouldn’t have assumed. I can move to Qing Jing–”
“That’s not necessary!” Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know what’s going on right now, but he can’t allow Liu Qingge to move into the Bamboo House to…look after him? While he’s ‘sick’? Like a husband would a wife? Why are they talking about marriage roles to begin with? Sure, he and Liu Qingge are close. But not that close. Plus, why does he have to be the ‘wife’? Husbands get sick too!
Either way, Airplane can’t be trusted not to reveal himself if Liu Qingge is prowling around the peak all day.
“You’ll live at Bai Zhan then?” Liu Qingge's current utilitarian style lodging won't do. Shen Qingqiu deserves better. He will have the entire place demolished by the end of the day. Shang Qinghua will no doubt give him an earful for wasting his quarterly peak expenses on a new house, but no one has seen the sniveling man for a few days. What he isn't here to see, he isn't here to stop. Now how many floors should he make it?
The leaves of the tree sheltering them parts. “Xiao-jiu. There you are.” Yue Qingyuan sounds surprised to see him, like he's taking a leisurely walk on his peak and not barging onto Shen Qingqiu's. His smile wavers. “And Liu-shidi. Hello.”
“Sect leader.” Liu Qingge bows his head. Cheng Luan rattles in it’s sheath, sensing the sudden spark of tension in the air.
“Zhangmen-shixiong!” Shen Qingqiu will take any distraction he can get right now. Silently, Liu Qingge traps his hand in his, a mess of tangled fingers and sweaty palms. Is he…scared? Of Yue Qingyuan? The big, overgrown puppy? Did they get in a fight? It’s only been a few days. What could he have possibly missed?
“What brings Zhangmen-shixiong to this one's humble Qing Jing Peak?”
Yue Qingyuan gaze is stuck on their joined hands. “I came to discuss some private matters with you.” he says, and if Shen Qingqiu didn’t know better, he’d think the sect leader was mad! But Yue Qingyuan doesn’t get mad. And he certainly doesn't get mad at him.
Airplane, what did you do?
“We have matters to discuss with you as well,” Liu Qingge replies. No–no, hold on young man. Shen Qingqiu didn’t agree to moving to Bai Zhan just yet!
“Shen Qingqiu has accepted my marriage proposal.”
Marriage proposal–Airplane what did you do?!
“I do not see how that is possible when Xiao-jiu has already accepted mine. During our visit at the Hall of Artifacts.”
Fuck–what did he do?!!
Shen Qingqiu can’t stand the poor, wounded expression that splashes across Liu Qingge’s face as he turns to him. “Is this true?”
“I–” Shen Qingqiu is speechless, mouth opening and closing without a word to show for it.
He misses Binghe. He misses the Endless Abyss. Anything over this!
“I think I understand Xiao-jiu. Liu-shidi and I are not the only ones to court you.” Yue Qingyuan reveals a golden scroll, wrapped in a ribbon that's studded with priceless emeralds, and hey-why is he going through Shen Qingqiu's mail? That's a felony, good sir! Yeah, Gongyi Xiao sends him letters and gifts every once in a while. What’s the big deal?
“Xiao-jiu must be having trouble deciding.”
Uhhh…
“It must be difficult for you to refuse any of us.”
“You do have a hard time saying no,” Liu Qingge agrees.
“What–” Shen Qingqiu will prove just how good he is at saying it by refusing both these proposals. And any other future proposals at that!
Yue Qingyuan's eyes go bright with an idea Shen Qingqiu already knows he isn't going to like. “Let us decide for you, Xiao-jiu.” He says this like he’s doing Shen Qingqiu a favor.
Decide what? Decide how?!
Cheng Luan radiates blue as Liu Qingge frees it from his waist. Yue Qingyuan responds by grabbing Xuan Su by the handle. And Xiu Ya–Xiu Ya’s in the Endless Abyss! Shen Qingqiu can’t stop this fight even if he wanted to!
Liu Qingge raises his sword to his friend, to his sect leader. “By proving who is the strongest.”
✦✦✦
The volcanic springs are hot and wet and slippery so it should come as a surprise to no one that Shang Qinghua losing his balance and falls the moment his soul is rammed into Shen Qingqiu’s body.
“Shizun!” Luo Binghe was distracted to say the least. He barely manages to catch Shen Qingqiu by the arm, softening his fall into the water. Shizun sits unsteadily, hand slapped to his head and groaning. The heat from the springs–it must be too much for him. He could’ve fainted! Clipped his head on a stone on the way down, painted the blue water red. All because Luo Binghe wanted to bathe with him. Idiot, idiot! He should’ve known better. Luo Binghe’s trembling hands help straighten the collar of Shen Qingqiu’s robes, patting at his body to make sure he’s okay. His blood parasites do not detect any injuries.
“Shizun, I’m so sorry. Let us leave now. Are you hungry–”
“Luo Binghe?”
A pair of hands are shoving him away. Shizun scrambles to the far end of the spring, back against the rocks with his arms crossed over himself protectively.
Something inside Luo Binghe cracks. His heart, perhaps? “Sh-Shizun?” What did he do? That doesn't matter. How can he fix it–
“Stay away!” Shang Qinghua warns. He did not narrowly escape one smooch fest to only fall victim to another. Hot springs with a half naked Protagonist? Of-fucking-course Shen Qingqiu is having a grand old time in the Endless Abyss.
The water is hot, pleasantly so, but Shang Qinghua is shivering. Luo Binghe is good son. He does as he's told. He doesn't move, doesn't strike. He observes. And really, what was Shang Qinghua thinking? That someone with an Infatuation Value so high it broke the numeric scale wouldn't notice the exact moment his object of desire is missing from it's own body? It takes him all of two seconds to summon his sword and give Shang Qinghua a good reason to be shaking in his boots. He swallows as the black blade is brought to his neck, just shy of grazing the skin.
“Where is Shizun?”
That was quick! What gave him away? Shang Qinghua supposes he’s not acting very ‘Shen Qingqiu’-y with the way he’s curled himself into a ball, skittish as a squirrel and calling Luo Binghe by his actual name. Not that syrupy sweet ‘Biiiingheeee’ the protagonist is so used to hearing. Shang Qinghua might gag if he tried saying that.
“What have you done with him, demon?”
Shang Qinghua tosses his hands up in surrender. “He’s fine! He’ll be back soon!”
Wrong answer. “Bring him back now.” Luo Binghe growls, but his weapon doesn’t budge. He isn’t willing to harm Shen Qingqiu’s body, and thank fuck for that or Shang Qingqiu is sure he’d be cut into a million tiny pieces by now, a light snack for whatever beast crosses into the hot springs next.
“Just a quick question, now that I’ve got you–” Shang Qinghua toggles through the System features for the Harem Management option, reading over the list of names and their respective gauges. Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, Gongyi Xiao, Mu Qingfang, him–wait him? Why is he here, and why is his infatuation value at 69%?!
Hehe. 69. Nice. He’ll let it pass for now.
Scrolling, scrolling–there! The name he doesn't recognize.
“Who’s He Xun?”
Luo Binghe’s huadian starts pulsating. Oops. That’s strike two apparently.
“You serve that swine?” he sneers.
“Nope! Don’t even know the guy! Haha, forget I asked!”
Luo Binghe’s done humoring him. “You have five seconds to return Shizun to me or I’m going to yank your pathetic soul from his body and drown it in these springs myself–”
“You got it boss!” One order of doting Shizun, coming right up! Shang Qinghua can’t get ahold of the Soul Swapping Amulet fast enough. He would rather be serving dead fish lips to Liu Qingge any day over this. At least he knows Cucumber-bro is safe and sound with his Luo Binghe. They’ll be back to Cang Qiong before he knows it. Just in time to learn that Liu Qingge is trying to get Shizun smooches in behind Luo Binghe’s back. Yeah. That’ll go well.
Luo Binghe, terrified, watches as 'Shizun's' head lolls forward then jolts upright with a gasp.
He knows his Shizun is back before Shen Qingqiu can smile and get out a relieved ‘Binghe’.
“You’re here,” Luo Binghe chokes, crushing Shen Qingqiu against him, as if he doesn’t hold tight enough, his Shizun’s soul might be snatched up again. “You were gone and I didn’t know how to get you back–”
Shen Qingqiu shushes him, holds him just as tight. “I’m here, I’m here,” he says until Luo Binghe stops shaking. He really scared his little lamb, didn't he?
“Shizun, what does that necklace do?” Luo Binghe had seen the imposter grab it, saw how it gleamed before returning his Shizun to him. That thing is the work of a devil worse than himself. To think it could steal his Shizun from him so easily…
That damn artifact. Shen Qingqiu rips the Soul Swapping Amulet from his neck, flinging it into the deepest, darkest depths of the hot spring. Unbeknownst to him, topside Shang Qinghua is burying his half of the amulet ten feet underground, never to be seen again.
“Don’t worry. Shizun won't leave you again.”
✦✦✦
FUCK YOU! FIX THIS! Reads the note Cucumber-bro left at his desk. Shang Qinghua laughs, shoving the parchment under a mountain of books and paperwork. Where was he?
“They’re sending out an official notice!” Qi Qingqi holds up the scroll that brought her presence to his front door in the first place. Her burnt tea sits untouched, as blistering as her current mood. She clears her throat, reciting, “Candidates interested in the hand of Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu must fight for the honor to wed him at Qing Jing Peak at the next Summer’s Solstice.”
Right. That.
“This was your idea?” Qi Qingqi crinkles the poster in her fist.
That sparks a hearty guffaw from Shang Qinghua. “What? No! You think I want this?”
“I don’t know what you want! It would be nice if you could tell me so I can get these fools to stop before they kill one another.”
“I don’t want any of them!” He wants to be in the north with his King, up to his nose in fur robes and laughing at the idiots at Cang Qiong fighting over Cucumber-bro.
Qi Qingqi crosses her arms, her icy exterior melting in a way only Shen Qingqiu gets to see. And Shang Qinghua, this one time. Who knew their shimei could be so nice? Cucumber-bro, you don’t know how good you have it, having a tall, gorgeous, ass-kicking woman as your best friend. Excluding Shang Qinghua because he’s Cucumber-bro’s best best friend. His BFFL. His brother from another mother. The 4 to his 20. The–
“I know what you want.” Qi Qingqi says quietly.
Shang Qinghua knows what Cucumber-bro wants too.
“Are you going to spend your whole life grieving him?” Qi Qingqi thrums her nails against the table in thought. They’re filed to perfection, great for gouging out the eyes of any lecherous men loitering around her peak. “Maybe settling down with someone isn’t such an awful idea. It can help you move on.” she swings the now wrinkled paper at Shang Qinghua like it’s some enticing treat. “Well? Anything here worth looking into?” She considers the tally of men who have already made public statements about their participation in the competition. “If I had to choose someone for you, I would go with Liu Qingge.”
Interesting! This is the kind of girl talk Shang Qingqiu can get into. “Not the Sect Leader?”
Qi Qingqi makes a face. “If you marry the Sect Leader, I fear I’ll never see you again.”
Yue Qingyuan does strike Shang Qinghua as the type to make Cucumber-bro his atticwife. But who doesn’t like a little yandere flare in their boyfriend?
“Gongyi Xiao?”
Qi Qingqi scoffs. “Too young.”
“Mu Qingfang?”
“Too soft.”
Shang Qinghua pretends to be pursuing other options like the System didn’t give him a list detailing every person who’s gogo gaga heart-eyes over Cucumber-bro. “Shang Qinghua?”
Qi Qingqi laughs. Actually laughs. “Shang Qinghua?”
Shang Qinghua swallows, pulling his physical alteration talisman off with an audible tear. His disguise washes off him nice and slow, giving Qi Qingqi time to process what she’s seeing.
“Shang. Qing. Hua.” Her jaw ticks. Her teacup cracks. Is it too late to turn back?
“Haha. Surprise?”
Shang Qinghua cowers as his shimei rises to her full height. “So this is why you’ve been acting so weird lately! Where is he?!” She presses her boot to his shoulder, pining him to the ground so he doesn’t even think of running away. Not until she gets some answers. And to think Qi Qingqi was so upset that ‘Shen Qingqiu’ didn’t invite her over for their weekly luncheon.
“Don’t kill me, please! I’ll tell you where he is! I promise!” Shang Qinghua is a blubbering mess. He knew this was a bad idea, but she needs someone’s help if he’s going to get Cucumber-bro out of this mess unscathed and unmarried.
“Out with it!”
“He’s in the Endless Abyss!” Shang Qinghua wails. It sounds so much worse saying it outloud. Don’t worry, he’s just in the most dangerous place known to man and demon.
Qi Qingqi raises her fist like she’s ready to punch something. Preferably not Shang Qinghua’s face. “He’s out there looking for him, isn’t he?”
Oh, it’s so much worse than that, shimei. “He found him.” And he’s making out with him in hot springs while they’re here dealing with all this crap!
Qi Qingqi has to stop and compute this onslaught of information. This is not how she planned to spend her afternoon. “Luo Binghe’s not dead?”
“Very much not dead,” Shang Qinghua confirms. “And very much still obsessed with Shen Qingqiu.”
“And Shen Qingqiu?” Qi Qingqi doesn’t think she’s going to like what she hears.
“Still very much obsessed with him.”
Shang Qinghua clutches at Qi Qingqi’s flowery, purple robes, hugging her knees and hoping he doesn’t get a black eye in return. “Qi-shimei! Listen to me, please. This isn’t just for my sake. We can’t let ‘Shen Qingqiu’ get engaged. The two of us will have to swap back eventually. Luo Binghe will come back and burn this whole place to the ground.”
That won’t do. Qi Qingqi also has a duty as Shen Qingqiu’s friend to ensure he doesn’t spend the rest of his life shackled to some loser either. She waves her manicured hand in defeat.
“Fine.”
Fine? She said ‘fine’?!
“You’ll help me?” Shang Qinghua swears there’s a choir of angels singing in celebration at his relief.
“Yes, yes! Stop crying already! You’re ruining my robes!”
Shang Qinghua wipes his nose on the expensive fabric one last time. “Many thanks, Qi-shimei,” he sniffs.
Qi Qingqi begins to pace. Shang Qinghua watches her raptly, as if a bit of her brilliance will fall to the floor and into his brain so he can think of something useful too. “It’s too late to cancel the whole thing. Guest competitors will be arriving in a few days.”
The whole mountain is busy preparing for the event. The disciples of Qing Jing are building a temporary arena as they speak! He hears them now, each slam of a hammer a reminder of the coffin he’s going to need to buy for himself if Cucumber-bro ends up married to someone who’s not Luo Binghe. “So what do we do?”
“It can’t be helped. I’ll join the competition.”
“You will?!”
“You think I can’t win?”
Shang Qinghua has seen Qi Qingqin beat the living hell out of half the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong without breaking a sweat. Himself included. This might work. Qi Qingqi clearly has no interest in locking it down with Cucumber-bro. Not unless it’s a lavender marriage.
He raises a fist in solidarity. “I’ll be cheering for you, Qi-shimei.”
And praying for himself.
Notes:
"They really ought to find a way to replicate and sell a little version of Luo Binghe so that everyone can get to enjoy him." I WANT THE LBH NENDOROID SO BAAAAD. Why is he $500 on ebay??? Good Smile Company, pls...if you can hear me...bring him back <\3
Fun fact! Xiao Huo translates to "little flame" and the name LBH calls him instead is Xiao Hundan which translates to "little asshole". This was my attempt at making a joke in another language and it's so dumb bcs it's not as if anyone would understand it. I was just having fun with google translate. knowing my luck it's not even translated correctly LOL
I personally headcanon that SY looks like SQQ and that he doesn't give himself enough credit for how good looking he was in his original body. I know he was breaking hearts left and right.
Next chapter: off to find Xin Mo!
Thank you for reading ilyyyy <3
Chapter 5: Shizun Duties
Summary:
Running a kingdom is hard work. Luo Binghe must want his guidance–a royal advisor! That could be his new job! Shen Qingqiu would scrub the floors of Luo Binghe’s palace if it meant he could stay by his side, but advisor is much more agreeable. Ah, the duties of a Shizun are never ending, are they?
“Shizun understands,” Shen Qingqiu says, not understanding.
Notes:
I hope you're comfortable, because this chapter is a long one. Originally it was going to be split in two, but the spirit of Bingqiu took over and I managed to write it all in one update. We're also earning that explicit tag with this chapter hehe. That also wasn't supposed to happen. I was going to make it a kind of "fade to black" moment, but who wants that? Not me! And certainly not Bingqiu!!! jk jk it doesn't get that freaky (we will get to that more in later chapters) but things finally start do start to heat up. thank god too, because I was tired of writing them pine for each other. they really are the miscommunication trope final boss.
Speaking of bosses, my boss and I were looking at something on my phone at work on Friday and I opened safari where, lo and behold, my AO3 page was still up with "belly bulge" and "sex toys" tags front and center. Love that. Told my only other friend who reads fanfiction and we laughed our asses off. Remember, clear your tabs before going to work babes!!! don't learn the hard way like me LMAO.
Anyways, enjoy the chapter (and sorry for any mistakes)<3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu was never good at riding horses. He's even worse at it when he has Luo Binghe behind him, one hand clutching the leather ends of the Shadow Steed’s reins, the other secured around Shen Qingqiu’s waist. This close, Shen Qingqiu can feel how his chest expands with every breath, how his curls tickle at Shen Qingqiu’s cheek every time he leans forward to speak.
“Is Shizun comfortable?”
Their noses nearly bump as Shen Qingqiu turns to face him, wriggling against the wall of muscle at his back. The real issue at hand isn’t if Shen is uncomfortable, but rather if he’s too comfortable. Luo Binghe is so warm. Shen Qingqiu wants to lean against him, rest his head against Luo Binghe’s chest and use the guard of his fan to tilt Luo Binghe’s head and that beguiling mouth of his towards Shen Qingqiu’s–
“Yes!” Shen Qingqiu’s back goes ramrod straight. Look at that posture, so professional! So clean! One would never accuse him of perving on his disciple! “Of course! Of course. I’m very comfortable. Thank you, Binghe.”
Luo Binghe smiles like he knows something Shen Qingqiu doesn’t, using his hand on Shen Qingqiu’s middle to tug him closer. “I don’t want Shizun to fall,” he explains, as if the Shadow Steed they’re saddled on hasn’t so much as jostled them an inch the entire time they’ve been on its back.
Yes, safety first! How responsible of you, Binghe!
Just head, two abyssal beasts pop up from the ground.
“Binghe, look! Twin Worm-Moles.”
Luo Binghe feeds off his enthusiasm. Usually he would've struck down any threat before Shen Qingqiu could notice them, but he is smitten by the way his Shizun's eyes sparkle with every new demon they encounter. “Shizun knows of such species?” Luo Binghe is well aware of Twin Worm-moles. How to kill them, how to eat them–but why ruin Shizun's fun?
“Yes, yes. Listen to your Shizun now.” How easily Shen Qingqiu slips back into the role of teacher. He clears his throat, fan slapped shut to point at the two deathly fuzz balls with writhing, carnivorous worms in place of their eyes. “Twin Worm-Moles work in pairs. One half of the pair will act as a distraction while the other burrows underground and takes their target by surprise. It is near impossible to kill them once they are below the surface. They move very fast in this type of soil. You must strike quickly when they come up for air.” Shen Qingqiu feels movement behind him, registers that it’s Luo Binghe reaching to grab the sword strapped to his back. “Binghe will be careful facing off against them, yes?”
Luo Binghe bats his eyes like a maiden and not the armor clad, sword wielding demon lord he is. “What if I am not careful? Will Shizun come rescue me?”
Rescue? The protagonist? Well yes, Shen Qingqiu will go sailing off this demon horse and into the fray if Binghe so much as accrues a single scratch facing off against these pests. But Luo Binghe doesn’t need to know that.
“Binghe spoke so highly of his strength after all these years in the abyss, yet it is Twin Worm-Moles that will be his undoing?”
Luo Binghe’s chest rumbles with laughter. He loves this, this banter with Shizun. The flirting, the teasing. It makes him feel like a lovesick boy again. “Of course not. Allow this humble disciple to demonstrate his true strength for Shizun.”
Finally. Shen Qingqiu’s been itching to see Luo Binghe in action. Him and that new sword of his. Chanzui, he’d called it. Glutton.
“It's a troublesome sword.” The heat from the hot springs was beginning to be too much. Luo Binghe lays out a blanket for them at the edge of the pool for them to sit at instead, Shizun lazily kicking his feet in the water as Luo Binghe presents him with breakfast. Shizun is still wet, his once white robes now a transparent film over his body. Luo Binghe is trying not to gorge himself on all this newfound visibility as his Shizun blinks up at him, innocently asking about his sword as if there isn’t already a weapon of lethal power standing at attention an arm’s reach away. Luo Binghe fidgets, hands casually resting on his lap to cover the…indiscretion. “Chanzui feeds on the qi of abyssal beasts.” The blade in question sits sheathed on the rock Luo Binghe left the rest of his robes on, jolting to attention at the mention of its name. ‘Not now’, Luo Binghe rolls his eyes at the insatiable slap of steel. ‘There’s nothing to kill here.’
Shizun nods as he chews, beckoning Luo Binghe to continue. Luo Binghe does, but not without first swiping away a forgotten drop of porridge at the corner of Shen Qingqiu’s mouth, lightly sucking the flavor of rice, and the even more delicious flavor of Shizun, off his thumb.
“With each one slain, the sword becomes stronger and stronger. And hungrier. All it wants to do is eat.”
A sentiment Luo Binghe now realizes he shares, eyes caught on the taper of his Shizun waist, the two teasing dots of red on his chest. Forget the food. The sight of his Shizun rucking his robes up to his thighs to dip his legs further into the water is enough to sustain Luo Binghe for the rest of the day. Maybe the rest of the week.
“Fascinating. I’ve never heard of a sword with such capabilities. And you found it in the Endless Abyss?” Luo Binghe nods. Shen Qingqiu sets down his empty bowl, stomach content with the blessing that is Luo Binghe’s cooking. “What happens when it gets full?”
Luo Binghe’s food grows cold in his hands. He licks his lips, attention darting from one part of Shizun to the next. Hungry for contact, Luo Binghe drops his head against Shen Qingqiu’s, mouthing against his hair as he takes a nip of Shen Qingqiu’s ear.
“It will never have enough.”
Chanzui is as black as the charred earth they walk on (courtesy of a recent volcanic eruption Shen Qingqiu was not conscious for), but grows spidery veins of red up its blade as it drinks the blood of the first Twin Mole-Rat Luo Binghe slashes in half. The second springs up from the ground from behind him, but is caught without Luo Binghe even needing to turn around.
“Shizun!” He yells, waving the squirming beast in his hand. “I hear the worm appendages of this creature make for great noodles.”
Shen Qingqiu’s not sure he believes that. But by all means, go ahead Binghe!
Luo Binghe tears the worms from mole’s face, dropping the leftover carcass to the ground and stabbing it through with Chanzui. He calculates the serving size of his recent harvest and is kind enough to fling a few bloody worms to Xiao Huo flying overhead. They’re snatched and swallowed immediately.
Wings pulled close to his body, Xiao Huo dives down to Shen Qingqiu, morphing back to his human form just in time to land on two feet beside the Shadow Steed. “A-Qiu, they really are quite delicious!”
They are on day four of their journey and food has started to become a problem. Luo Binghe had warned Shen Qingqiu that the mountains that are home to Xin Mo are deep within the western kingdom’s territory; a week’s worth of travel made longer by He Xun’s patrolling army. This would not have been a cause for concern if a wandering Eight legged Lizard-Tongued Boar hadn’t gotten away with Shen Qingqiu’s qiankun pouch on their first outing, tearing it to shreds and thereby destroying every bit of supplies Shen Qingqiu so painstakingly packed inside. He’s now left with nothing but Xiu Ya and the robes currently on his back.
Inedia was the obvious solution. A solution Shen Qingqiu is not able to effectively use with his spiritual qi tied up in other roles. Filtering the air he breathes and defending himself against any threats–in a place so turbulent as this, Shen Qingqiu isn’t able to build on his reserves of spiritual qi with rest and meditation as he normally would. What he came with into the Endless Abyss is all he has to use while here. It doesn’t help that he is more susceptible to Without-A-Cure flare-ups with all this stifling ying energy hovering over him. It sponges up what little spiritual qi Shen Qingqiu has to offer. Wasting any more of it on inedia is foolish. Shen Qingqiu can stand to be hungry for a few days. It’s not going to kill him. Probably. Hopefully.
Luo Binghe doesn’t share his confidence on the matter.
The first beast he tried to feed Shen Qingqiu, slow cooked over a fire and drizzled with a congelated sauce of its own blood, was sniffed at, nibbled on, and promptly regurgitated all over their feet.
The worms Luo Binghe boils and offers up as dinner receive the same response.
“Binghe, it’s fine.” Shen Qingqiu wipes at his mouth, proud that this time he was able to keep it down for at least ten minutes. Last time it was ten seconds. It’s not so much the taste that’s the issue. After so many beasts Luo Binghe has gutted, scorched, or fried, Shen Qingqiu is actually beginning to appreciate their distinct flavor. It’s his body’s reaction to it. After all, what cultivator’s body would allow it to poison itself like this?
“I will not eat if Shizun cannot,” Luo Binghe declares. He throws his portion of worms into the fire he prepared it on, turning the dancing flames purple as it burns through the fatty meat.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” It’s cooler at night, and even with Luo Binghe’s outer robes as a blanket over his shoulders and Xiao Huo as a heating pad on his lap, Shen Qingqiu shuffles closer to the fire. “You have to keep your strength up.”
In all truth, the trip so far has been a breeze. And why shouldn't it with the ever talented Protagonist as his tour guide? Still, something about it makes Shen Qingqiu nervous. He feels like he’s constantly on his toes, waiting for some cataclysmic disaster that may never come. It’s just that things in the Endless Abyss are never supposed to be this…easy?
Luo Binghe’s uncharacteristic skittishness seems to agree. His head is on a swivel. He jumps at anyone or anything that moves around them, once embedding Chanzui into a tree that’s branches dared to sway in the wind a little too much.
They’re both on edge. Shen Qingqiu’s hunger isn’t helping. Luo Binghe fretting over his hunger isn’t helping either. Neither will intentionally starving himself.
Xiao Huo is asleep; silly boy ran himself ragged today playing scout and surveying the area ahead for them. A nice pair of thighs to curl on and a hand stroking down his back meant he was out cold in seconds. Shen Qingqiu carefully places him near the fire as he stands to stretch his legs. He needs a walk to clear his mind.
They're travelling through the mainland forests. The same forests Shen Qingqiu ran from hunters in. The same forest Luo Binghe burned down half of. Anything that grows here is garbled and ugly, thorns protruding from every branch. But at night, the trees take on an eerie, but beautiful glow, the phosphorus bugs common in this area emerging from the bark of the trees to enjoy the coolness of the night.
“Come here.” Luo Binghe doesn’t need to be told twice. He bounces up from the tree trunk he personally mowed down to provide seating for Shen Qingqiu and greedily takes his offered hand. He melds their palms together, suppressing the urge to lay a kiss against his Shizun’s shoulder before resting his head against it. It the first moment they’ve had alone since leaving the hot springs. Xiao Huo had made excellent time, returning to their little paradise by nightfall with a Shadow Steed big enough for the both of them, as promised. He’s been a constant bother since, but alleviating himself of his previous ‘uselessness’ by guiding their journey from the skies. They were able to hide from two passing border patrol units and a herd of grazing Black Moon Rhinoceros- Pythons. Nothing that Luo Binghe wouldn’t be capable of handling, but why endanger Shizun when he doesn’t have to?
A sudden downpour of acid rain has Shen Qingqiu laughing as Luo Binghe scoops him up over his shoulder and runs to the nearest tree for cover. He sets Shen Qingqiu back onto his feet, and with a simple snap, activates a barrier of qi over their heads to keep them dry–or rather, to keep their skin from sloughing off. It’s not enough. Shen Qingqiu stands nice and still as Luo Binghe pulls the black outer robe from his shoulders over his head like a hood. Shen Qingqiu peeks up at him from under its silver lined hem. “Binghe worries too much.”
Can Shizun blame him? “Shizun is difficult to protect.”
“Difficult?” Now he’d only run off on his own twice now to see a special plant or spy on the nest of some rare beast, and yes maybe he almost poisoned himself and yes he had to yell for help when the angry mother Banshee Boar chased him out of it’s home, but that hardly warrants the title difficult. A child who refuses to eat their veggies is difficult. A disciple who sneaks off the mountain to the brothel house is difficult. Shen Qingqiu almost getting himself killed–well that’s just a normal Tuesday.
“I can protect myself,” The argument would stand better if Shen Qingqiu wasn’t currently relying on Binghe to keep him alive until they reach Xin Mo. But if he had unrestrained access to his qi, you bet he’d be the one doing the ass kicking over here in the Endless Abyss. Don’t forget who taught you everything you know boy!
Luo Binghe frowns, and he makes even that look handsome. “But why should you when I am here?” It’s a point of pride for demons to protect their mates from both danger and unwanted advances. Why did Shizun think he's been biting at Liu Qingge’s ankles since he was fourteen?
“The master should protect the disciple.” Shen Qingqiu grabs Luo Binghe by the lapels, dragging further from the edge of the barrier, further from the acid rain, closer to him. “Even if said disciple is no longer the same little bun anymore.”
“Bun?” Luo Binghe asks, bewildered.
Shen Qingqiu pinches his cheeks. “Yes. Bun.” Luo Binghe can pry the nickname from his cold, dead hands. His little bun, his little white lotus, his little lamb–Luo Binghe can grow as tall as he wants, but his Shizun won’t ever stop trying to pat his head, even if he has to climb this six-foot-something disciple of his like a tree. In fact, Shen Qingqiu thinks he might warm up first by scaling the thick trunk he suddenly feels bite into his back as Luo Binghe crowds him, looking very much like he’d like to try his hand at mounting him.
Sticky! And Shen Qingqiu thought Binghe was clingy as a kid! If Shen Qingqiu hated it half as much as he pretends to, he would’ve shoved Luo Binghe away by now. Not hide bashfully beneath his makeshift hood, shivering as Luo Binghe guides it from his head the way a groom might unveil his new bride.
“Shizun may call me whatever he wants.” Bun, boy, Binghe–what does it matter if one day he’ll be calling Luo Binghe ‘husband’? He can picture it now. ‘Husband’ he’ll greet Luo Binghe from behind his fan after a long day of meetings and paperwork have kept them apart. ‘Husband’ he’ll purr as Luo Binghe pins him to their bed. ‘Husband!’ he’ll cry as Luo Binghe drives into him, back arched, mouth open in a silent plea as he c–
“Binghe?”
“Hm?” Luo Binghe's mouth is stuck in a dumb, dopey smile. “Apologies, Shizun. I was thinking of the future.”
“...in the human realm?” Shen Qingqiu says hopefully.
All manner of cheer is wiped clean from Luo Binghe’s face. “There is no place for me in the human realm.”
What a horrible conclusion to come to! Who told Binghe such things?
Oh, right. He did.
All the more reason for Shen Qingqiu to make amends.
“There is, if I am there.” Binghe doesn't have to stay on Qing Jing Peak, or even Cang Qiong mountain for that matter. So long as he's somewhere where Shen Qingqiu can reach him.
Five years ago, that would’ve been the best thing Shizun could have ever told him. But now? “I am making a home for us here. And it will be far better than anything the human realm or demon realm could offer.”
Us?
It’s silly how powerful one word can be. ‘Us’ Luo Binghe says, and suddenly Shen Qingqiu is imagining a life so different from the one he leads now. A life in the Endless Abyss. Navigating this new terrain, entering a chapter of the PIDW pantheon that was never supposed to exist. A middle ground between humans and demons with a half demon sovereign to lead them. It could make this trite stallion novel something worth reading–something worth living in. Shen Qingqiu’s existence evolving from the scum villain destined for nothing more than a cruel death to…to what exactly? Shen Qingqiu still doesn’t understand what Binghe wants from him. What he is to him. A teacher? A friend? Shen Qingqiu's throat feels dry thinking back on Luo Binghe’s, um, advancements towards him in the hot spring. A bedwarmer until his harem arrives?!
“Shizun will come back with me to the Endless Abyss…yes?” Fear creeps into Luo Binghe’s voice like a thief in the night. He hadn’t considered the idea that Shizun might not want this. Want him. He feels like he might try going for a run in the acid rain if not.
“You really want me here?”
How could Shizun ever consider he wouldn’t? “Shizun is the only one I want here.”
Running a kingdom is hard work. Luo Binghe must want his guidance–a royal advisor! That could be his new job! Shen Qingqiu would scrub the floors of Luo Binghe’s palace if it meant he could stay by his side, but advisor is much more agreeable. Ah, the duties of a Shizun are never ending, are they?
“Shizun understands,” Shen Qingqiu says, not understanding.
The acid rain has let up and the earth releases a hissing layer of steam with each step Shen Qingqiu takes as he pulls Luo Binghe out from under the safety of the tree. “Now come, if we’re lucky we can harvest silk from the web of a Lunar Light Spider!”
A sigh. “Yes, Shizun.” Luo Binghe lets himself be dragged along, all visions of a romantic night walk replaced with hours of bug hunting. He draws Shen Qingqiu's hand into his so he won’t go running off at the first sight of cobwebs. This troublesome man. Luo Binghe can’t wait to be inconvenienced by him for the rest of his life.
✦✦✦
When Shen Qingqiu wakes up in a dream, he’s actually surprised it took Binghe this long to pull him into one. But it’s not Luo Binghe waiting for Shen Qingqiu at the end of the illusory hallway he opened his eyes to. It’s an elderly man with wiry silver hair and robes so old Shen Qingqiu’s is sure they’re not from this century. Meng Mo’s pale eyes narrow, deepening the rows of wrinkles already present from his rooted frown.
“Out with it,” he snaps.
“Excuse me?” Shen Qingqiu was at least expecting a perfunctory ‘hello’. What is this, an interrogation? He hasn’t done anything wrong! At least, he doesn’t think he has. Okay, maybe he drooled over Luo Binghe a little too much in the hot springs. Who can blame him! If gawking at a shirtless protagonist is wrong, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t want to be right.
The dreamscape is boring. Hazy white walls stretching into infinity–where’s the creativity in that? Luo Binghe would’ve done much better.
Meng Mo wasn’t aiming to impress. He has one mission here, and little time to complete it before his prodigious student starts to pick up on him meddling in his precious Shizun’s mind. A spec of dust could land on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders, and Luo Binghe would know.
“What is it then? What do you want? What will it take for you to leave Luo Binghe alone for good? Sacred knowledge? Untold riches?” Meng Mo would offer up young virgin brides, but that sounds like it would go over about as well with Shen Qingqiu as it did with Luo Binghe. Damn cutsleeves.
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t remember when Meng Mo apparently started hating him. “No! Nothing! I want–I want Binghe.”
“No.”
Right. Well, fuck you too then.
Meng Mo’s grey sleeves are profuse, practically brushing against the floor as he folds his hands together. “You are a burden to him.” Ouch. Shen Qingqiu winces. That shouldn’t have hurt so much to hear. Meng Mo’s verbal onslaught continues. “Don’t you see? Luo Binghe is destined for greatness, and I’ve been guiding him towards it for years now. He is so close to finally achieving it, yet here you are, trapezing from the human realm and ruining everything.”
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t know what grand destiny he could have possibly ruined in the four days he’s been in the Endless Abyss. “Luo Binghe isn’t returning to the human realm,” he says, as if this wasn’t made abundantly clear in the private conversation he knew Meng Mo was listening in on.
“And neither will you after he brings you back here!” And that’s the real problem. Shen Qingqiu can visit and hold hands with Luo Binghe all across the Endless Abyss, but he can’t stay. What influence will Meng Mo hold over his student if Shen Qingqiu is in the way? He’ll tell you how much: none.
All those years training his pupil in the art of dream manipulation, in diplomacy, in leadership, all for the sake of creating a new empire with himself at the helm, amount to nothing against Shen Qingqiu and the power of a well placed hand against Luo Binghe’s chest as he asks him to abandon five years of work to go fool around in the human realm. Meng Mo won’t stand for it!
“He’s meant to be King of the Endless Abyss, not some housewife!”
Shen Qingqiu is offended on Luo Binghe’s behalf. Who says he can be both?
“He doesn’t need you.” Meng Mo says, his calm veneer slipping from his own lack of patience.
“I don’t think that is for you to decide,” Shen Qingqiu snaps back.
“It is when my life force is tied to his!”
“You’re just a parasite. What do you know about Luo Binghe anyways?”
Too much. Meng Mo has been an unwilling voyeur to years of erotic fantasies about Shen Qingqiu to allow the man to stay one second longer in the Endless Abyss than he has to. Heaven forbid they sleep together. Luo Binghe wouldn't be able form a coherent thought that isn’t about his Shizun for the next decade. Not that that’s any different from his behavior now.
“I am staying with Luo Binghe as he wants me to.” Meng Mo can cook up all the bitching and moaning he wants, but he’s not the one making the final call on this.
Meng Mo, ever the observer, sinks his teeth into an insecurity the moment he sees it. Shen Qingqiu almost makes it too easy for him.
“And how long do you think that will be exactly?”
Shen Qingqiu flinches. It would’ve been kinder for Meng Mo to sock him in the stomach.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Surely you don’t think Luo Binghe’s childlike infatuation for you will last, do you?” (It will.) “You don’t think he’ll grow bored of you?” (He won’t.) “He will leave you the instant someone better walks by.” (Luo Binghe would rather kill himself.)
The walls around them glow with frozen scenes of the master-disciple pair over the years. Sharing a carriage. Moving Luo Binghe into the Bamboo House. Shielding Luo Binghe from Elder Sky Hammer. Tea for two, breakfast for two, even at times a bed for two. (Binghe got nightmares sometimes, okay?!) Secret smiles behind fans. Starry brown eyes. The images continue down the hall, blurring to obscurity. “Look at you.” Meng Mo walks circles around Shen Qingqiu, scoffing at his hair, his robes. “You are no great beauty, and you certainly won’t be able to provide the heirs Luo Binghe needs to continue his legacy.” He comes in close to deliver the final blow, his sneer sharper than any blade as he closes his fist and shatters every shard of memory at once. “What would he want from you other than a quick, convenient fuck–”
The dreamscape splinters. The floor beneath Shen Qingqiu cracks and suddenly he’s falling through a well of black air, Meng Mo’s cackling laughter chasing him down, down, down until–
Shen Qingqiu bolts upright from Luo Binghe’s lap, his voice caught in a terrible gasp. Luo Binghe, passing the time during his night shift by counting each individual lash laid flat on the cushion of his Shizun’s cheeks, is on him in an instant. Blood parasite runs a frenzied course through his body in search of an irregularity they’ll never find. There’s no injury, no Without-A-Cure flare up. Shen Qingqiu is fine while feeling anything but.
Luo Binghe’s lips are trembling. He hates when he can’t help. Why can’t he ever help Shizun? First as a child, and now as an adult. Is he destined to be useless forever?
“Shizun,” his words sound wet. “Are you alright? Does it hurt anywhere?”
‘Yes,’ Shen Qingqiu thinks pathetically. ‘My heart.’
Luo Binghe soothes back the fine, sweaty hair at his temple, rubs comforting circles into his back. Shen Qingqiu can’t bring himself to enjoy the pampering like he once would. Will Binghe always treat him like this? Will he always be that little puppy trailing after his every step, desperate to please? Or is Meng Mo right. Will he turn his back on Shen Qingqiu after getting what he wants?
Shen Qingqiu never held these nasty suspicions about Luo Binghe. And how could he? Luo Binghe treats him like he’s royalty!
But Meng Mo was good. He planted that tiny seed of doubt knowing full well how it would evolve into this huge, festering forest. It tangles Shen Qingqiu’s thoughts, his better judgement fraying at the edges. If he looked at the situation critically he’d realize, as anyone else would, that Meng Mo was just saying whatever he could to piss him off. Well, congratulations! Mission achieved! Should they tell everyone? Should they throw Meng Mo a party? Should they invite the System?
The right thing to do would be to explain to Luo Binghe what happened.
The wrong thing to do is to pin Luo Binghe underneath him and prove to Meng Mo just how badly his disciple wants him.
Just like the narrative options provided by the System, Shen Qingqiu picks the wrong answer.
“Shizun!”
Luo Binghe forgets how strong his Shizun is until he’s flipped onto his back, a pair of gloriously muscled thighs straddling his waist and holding him hostage as the weight of an ass he has only dreamed of handling seats itself right on his crotch. Hands slam down on either side of his head, bracketing him in place. Luo Binghe’s soul nearly ascends. Shizun is making the first move! And a bold one, at that! He’s prayed for times like this. He’s admittedly gotten off to dream creations of times like this.
‘You can’t even be the one doling it out?’ Meng Mo hardly saw the beauty in switching.
After that unfortunate swapping mishap in the hot springs, Luo Binghe guessed it would take years for his Shizun’s pride to recover enough to try initiating any kind of affection again. He’s never been so happy to be wrong.
Shen Qingqiu’s hair, undone and shining like wet ink in the light of the nearby fire, slides across Luo Binghe cheeks as he leans over him. “Tonight I feel like…I like you a great deal.”
Now a different part of Luo Binghe starts to ascend.
“I like Shizun a great deal too…” he says dazedly.
Too busy trying not to finish in his pants, Luo Binghe hardly has the mental capacity to notice the blood dribbling from his nose. Shen Qingqiu does, however.
He flounders, throwing himself off Luo Binghe and taking all that wonderful warmth and weight with him. “Oh my god! Binghe! Are you okay?”
Luo Binghe plugs his nostrils as he sits up, accepting Shen Qingqiu’s balled-up sleeve as a handkerchief. And to think, he was so close to heaven–
“Forgive me, Shizun. I became too excited.”
Excited? Binghe, this is not some trashy hentai! You don’t get a bloody nose from catching a peek down some busty girl’s shirt. Or in this case, your Shizun’s loosened collar.
The leaking continues. Luo Binghe gives up on cleaning himself. What’s a little blood between kisses? It’s not as though it’s something they haven’t done before. He reaches out for Shen Qingqiu, hands pawing at his hips eagerly. Where were they again?
Shen Qingqiu wastes what precious qi he has to dissolve the blood from his sleeve. He doesn’t want any evidence of his lecherous actions to survive the night. All those comments he once made, criticising wives every time they clawed at each other for a chance to spend the night with Binghe, and here he is, pouncing on the poor chap like an animal in heat.
Does anyone have a shovel? Shen Qingqiu wants to bury himself in dirt and pretend he never existed to begin with. He lowers his head. “Binghe, I’m so sorry. Forgive Shizun for his…” Horny? Desperate? “wretched behavior.”
Luo Binghe is having none of that. Is there not enough groping happening here to prove how much that wretchedness is reciprocated? He slides his hands imploringly down Shen Qingqiu’s thighs. “Shizun should not apologise. He may use this disciple however he pleases.”
‘Please use me however you please,’ he almost adds.
Does Binghe go around saying this to anyone who treats him nicely? That’s dangerous! Someone worse than Shen Qingqiu is going to come around and really convince Luo Binghe to bottom. The world as they know it might collapse if that were to happen. Stallions don’t ride. They are ridden!
Luo Binghe flops back to his previous position, taking Shen Qingqiu down with him. “Shizun should continue from where he left off.” To make things easier, he crosses his wrists and places them above his head, guiding Shen Qingqiu into holding them in place. He feels Shizun’s grip, his strength, keeping him in place. Mhm. Much better.
A golden streak of lightning, aftereffects of the acid rain storm, lights a nearby tree on fire, but even that wasn’t as fast as Shen Qingqiu was in scrambling off Luo Binghe. “Don’t tease your old Shizun like this.” He valiantly holds back the hand that was pinning Luo Binghe down as if he used it to beat him instead. “That was a…lapse of judgement.”
Luo Binghe looks incredibly put out.
(Because he is.)
“Yes, Shizun. This disciple understands.” God, that pout of his is going to kill Shen Qingqiu.
“Good, good. Well, I’m going back to sleep then. Goodnight.” Shen Qingqiu rolls over and acts dead in the hopes of convincing dream manipulator extraordinaire 2.0 that he’s asleep. He has to convince himself that the forest floor isn’t that bad of a pillow compared to Luo Binghe’s lap. He can’t go crawling back now. His pride has taken enough hits as it is.
Shen Qingqiu nods off to the phantom feeling of fingers in his hair. His dreams are simple and sweet, like a children’s storybook.
Luo Binghe kisses away the crease between his Shizun’s brows and lets Shizun’s dream carry him off into a deep slumber. He grabs Chanzui. There has to be something out here he can behead in place of Meng Mo.
“Bother Shizun again, and I’ll see to it that your soul rots away before you can find another host.” Up until now, Luo Binghe has been all the more willing to share his demonic qi with the elder demon. He paid for his education in energy–a fair deal. But all bets are off when Meng Mo uses that energy to meddle where he shouldn’t.
Meng Mo doesn’t play innocent. ‘It was worth a try,’ he groans.
✦✦✦
The relentless journey to Xin Mo continues at dawn. The trees of the mainland forest slowly bleed out to a harsher, rockier terrain. Jagged black peaks in the distance mark their arrival to their final destination. Heaven’s Summit. A range of mountains at the furthest point west of the Endless Abyss. Named as such for the ridiculous heights they reach, as if to pierce through the barrier of the abyss, pass the human realm, and into the god’s domain above. Home to some of the fiercest abyssal beasts (and one legendary sword), Shen Qingqiu finds it odd that the western kingdom chose this as their base.
The western palace sits deep in the basin of the largest mountain, a natural defense against invading forces. No sneak attacks from behind when your backdoor leads straight to the edge of the world. Enemies marching their way will instantly be spotted the moment they leave the cover of the mainland forest.
“Shizun is sure?”
“Top of the highest mountain. I’m sure.” Like Shen Qingqiu would forget the location PIDW spent a good 500,000 words getting to. The Endless Abyss Arc really had a way of dragging on. Airplane had to ensure Luo Binghe endured fifty generations of pain and torture before he was allowed to find Xin Mo and leave. And no one ever thought what might be at the very top of the biggest, most obvious structure in the Endless Abyss until Luo Binghe came around? Please. For being the protagonist’s golden finger, Xin Mo is laughably easy to find. Luo Binghe gets a pass this time around because there’s an entire kingdom and army standing in his way.
A glare of orange in the sky signifies the return of their reconnaissance soldier. “Well?” Luo Binghe demands of a breathless Xiao Huo.
“Four battalions. Walled checkpoint halfway. Guarded residential zones. Palace. Then, mountain.” Xiao Huo huffs and puffs, doubled over with his hands on his knees. “A-Qiu, this one isn’t sure how we are going to make it through all of that.”
“We won’t go through.” Luo Binghe decides. “We will go around. Head north until we reach the first mountain and travel each one between us and the highest peak.”
That’s a lot of hiking.
Shen Qingqiu’s stomach chooses that moment to remind everyone of how empty it is. He throws his arms around it in hopes of muffling the loud growling. No luck.
“A-Qiu! Just eat me!” Xiao Huo juts out his arm as if Shen Qingqiu has the fangs needed to take a bite. Shen Qingqiu’s only response is to slump against the billowing mane of the Shadow Steed in defeat. Looks like he’s got a few more days of his stomach actively trying to eat itself before he can get home.
“Shizun, we will cross the summit quickly, I swear.” Luo Binghe can’t stand to see the way hunger eats away at Shen Qingqiu, picking at him day by day until his cheeks start to hollow. It took him much longer than Luo Binghe would’ve liked to open his eyes this morning. What if he falls asleep and never wakes up? Disappears like the remnants of a dream you know you had, but can’t quite remember?
Shen Qingqiu weakly lifts his arm and Luo Binghe takes that as the cue it is, ducking beneath his hand to accept a ruffling of his curls. “Binghe is doing so well helping his Shizun return home. I only wish I could do more to help.”
“Shizun only needs to stay awake.”
Shen Qingqiu slept an astonishing thirteen hours last night. At that point, he wasn’t sure if it even counted as a ‘good night’s rest’ or a miniature coma. He woke up in Luo Binghe’s arms, roused by the sound of Xiao Huo’s screaming as he attempted to ride the Shadow Steed on his own. By then, they had already packed up and hit the road. And Luo Binghe was more than happy to carry him all the while.
All that, and Shen Qingqiu still feels ready for a cat nap. He’s so lethargic, and he doesn’t think it’s because of hunger, though that isn’t helping either. It’s something else. Something he can feel, but can’t name. Something he can’t bother Luo Binghe with.
Shen Qingqiu knows Xiao Huo has noticed. It’s in the unspoken way he hurries them along, more insistent than even Luo Binghe at times, to get him home.
He’d once said that humans were an invasive species. Accused them of causing trouble in the Endless Abyss. Shen Qingqiu can hardly imagine why. How can he ‘cause trouble’ when all he’s done the entire time is sit on a horse? Maybe he can’t write off Xiao Huo’s words just yet. Shen Qingqiu once managed to create quite the stir online by merely sitting in front of his computer. Ask Airplane.
Moral of the story: no one (himself included) should ever underestimate Shen Qingqiu’s ability to stir up some shit.
But the next time trouble finds them, Shen Qingqiu swears up and down that it’s not his fault.
“Kyaaaahhh!”
The screams of the damsel in distress sound more like she is auditioning for a cheap porno than calling for help. The way her clothes have been selectively shredded by the Snake-Tail Scorpion do not help in this regard either. Chest, stomach, and legs exposed, the demoness runs for her life from the beast that is ten times her size.
‘Any second now,’ Shen Qingqiu thinks and–yep! There it is! She trips on the smallest rock possible and tumbles to the ground. Her pretty maroon eyes are flooded with tears as she reaches out towards Luo Binghe.
“Please help!”
Luo Binghe, reins in hand as he walks beside Shen Qingqiu on the Shadow Steed, gives her a flat look and turns to lead the group away.
Binghe! You’re never going to amass a harem with an attitude like that!
Shen Qingqiu weaves his hand through the plume of black shadows that make up his demon horse’s mane, a habit he’s picked up these past couple of days. The black tendrils curl between his fingers as he admonishes his disciple. “Binghe is not going to help her?”
“No,” Luo Binghe smiles as if he’s proud of his answer.
The suggestive sounding screams continue.
“We can’t leave her to die.” Shen Qingqiu was never one to care for NPCs, but really, he feels bad for the girl. She’s a pretty thing. Not pretty enough to be a wife, but not so ugly that she should die!
“Why? Is Shizun fond of her already?” Suddenly the demoness has Luo Binghe's attention. He stops. Stares. Studies. Surely Shizun can’t think she is prettier than him? If so, then all the more reason for her to be gobbled up and spit back out by some abyssal beast.
“I pity her.” Death by Snake-Tail Scorpion is not a merciful way to go.
“A-Qiu. We do not have the time to help her,” Xiao Huo reminds.
No one states the obvious. That they are in enemy territory and that this is so plainly a trap.
“Binghe. After you take the west, you are going to rule all citizens of the Endless Abyss. What will they think of you if this is how you treat your subjects?” Binghe, your Shizun is trying his best to keep you from being cancelled. Listen to him!
Luo Binghe has this way of looking terribly aggrieved when he doesn’t get what he wants. “Shizun truly wishes that I help her?” He makes it sound like Shen Qingqiu is asking him to take out the trash, not save a life. An angsty teenager asking ‘ughhh mom, do I have to?’
“Yes.” Do it or you’re grounded for a week, young man!
“She can’t come with us.” Xiao Huo was bad enough. Luo Binghe refuses to share Shizun’s attention with anyone else.
“That is fine.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t care to watch the demoness throw herself at Luo Binghe for the remainder of their trip anyways.
“I suppose Chanzui is hungry.” Luo Binghe draws the blade reluctantly, sighing as he looks over at the woman who had plenty of time to get back on her feet and run, but chose to scream her throat raw until he came over instead. He knows how his story goes, and he knows he’s going to hate it just as much as the dozen other times it’s been tried on him before.
For Shizun, he tells himself.
First, the oversized tail. The hissing snake half of the beast is severed from the body, forked tongue shooting out from it’s gaping maw to wrap around the shrieking demoness. Luo Binghe contemplates letting the thing eat her, that way he can sniff at Shizun later and say that he tried, but to do so would make him look weak. Incapable. He can’t afford to give Shizun such an impression. He is a mighty demon lord, master in the art of combat. Unless he’s alone with Shizun. Then he’s the doting housewife he’s meant to be.
Luo Binghe slashes the tongue to separate it from the snake's mouth. He holds Chanzui vertically to slice precisely down the middle of the snake as it throws itself up and charges at him in retaliation. To either side him a waterfall of gore and guts spill, soaking the demoness who cries louder at that than she did begging for his help. Two halves of the snake’s body land with a hollow thunk.
Next, the scorpion body. He starts by sliceing the poisonous pincers fused to its head, then goes for the remaining six legs until the beast is nothing more than a convulsing stump, trapped in place as it’s dismembered limbs twitch uselessly nearby,
“Thank you for saving me!” Luo Binghe does not know how the demoness freed herself from the snake tongue he very much intentionally left her entangled in. And for good reason. As she unashamedly attaches herself to his sword arm, ranting and raving about his prowess, he’s unable to counter the pincer that regrows from the scorpion’s head. Luo Binghe didn't know there was something out here with regenerative powers as quick as his own. He curses, turning and shoving up his other arm to keep the snapping claw from separating the top half of his body from the bottom.
“Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu isn’t thinking when he jumps down from the Shadow Steed, Xiu Ya singing in his arms as he releases a sword glare to destroy the pincer embedded in Luo Binghe’s arm. A waste of spiritual qi, one might say, but Shen Qingqiu feels like he can finally breathe again.
Luo Binghe is finished with this chivalry act. He growls at the demoness and pushes her with enough force to knock the sultry smile right off her face. Back down to the ground she goes. She’s lucky he’s the only one who got hurt; had Shizun been made to draw blood, Luo Binghe would have torn her in half just as he did with the snake.
Chanzui is happy to sink into the space between the scorpion’s eyes, greedily drinking in all its qi as the beast thrashes in one final attempt at escape. Luo Binghe pushes down until nothing but Chanzui’s handle remains outside the beast’s brain. Only then does it go limp.
Luo Binghe leaves his sword to feast, jumping down from the head of the scorpion in time to catch Shen Qingqiu as he goes barreling into his arms.
“Are you okay?!” Shen Qingqiu can already feel the blood spreading onto Luo Binghe's sleeve. Before he’s able to peel back the layers of his clothes and inspect the damage done, the wound is healed. Not even a scar will remain.
Luo Binghe still clings to Shen Qingqiu as if he were hurt. “Thanking Shizun for his concern.”
“This one thanks you for saving her–” Jesus lady, read the room. Even Shen Qingqiu has to keep from rolling his eyes as the demoness approaches Luo Binghe once more. She’s tenacious, he’ll give her that.
“Do not thank me. I did not want to save you. Thank Shizun.” Luo Binghe doesn’t bother to address her properly, too busy burrowing Shen Qingqiu into his chest. “We will take our leave now,” he says once it’s made clear she won’t be giving Shen Qingqiu the gratitude he’s owed. Luo Binghe sneers. Shizun’s kindness is wasted on her.
“Come, Binghe. Take a break and ride on the horse with me.”
Oh well. More for him then!
The demoness harrumphs, flicking her mint green hair over her shoulder. Suddenly that sweet, coquette nature of hers is gone. “So be it.”
They don’t make it far. A handful of steps towards Xiao Huo and the Shadow Steed and Luo Binghe is staggering. Shen Qingqiu manages to keep him upright, his concern renewed as Luo Binghe begins clutching at his face in pain. He holds out an hand and Chanzui comes sailing into it, a handy crutch as he stumbles once more.
“Binghe, what is it? Tell me what’s wrong.” Nothing looks wrong. The Snake-Tail Scorpion is known for its lethal poison, but that is nothing that Luo Binghe’s heavenly demon blood can’t handle.
Luo Binghe makes a horrible, pained exhale and that’s when Shen Qingqiu’s panic sets in.
Okay. Triage. What are the symptoms?
Body tremors. Shen Qingqiu can feel them. He presses his palm to Luo Binghe’s forehead. Fever. Weakness, loss of mobility, and–
Luo Binghe shoves Shen Qingqiu almost as hard as shoved the demoness earlier.
Aggression?
“Luo Binghe!” Xiao Huo comes sprinting over the moment Luo Binghe lays a hand on his A-Qiu. That half breed is begging for a beating. And he’ll get it! Once Xiao Huo finds a thousand other demons to help take the bastard down.
Shen Qingqiu is still a bit too stunned to move, not yet registering he’s fallen to the ground until Xiao Huo is helping him back up. Binghe’s never…even when Shen Qingqiu had stabbed him, Luo Binghe wasn’t that hostile. Not to him. Never to him. That was a mistake. It had to be, right?
Shen Qingqiu tries reaching out for his little lamb again. “Binghe–”
“Stay away from me! Leave me alone!”
A voice that sounds an awful lot like Meng Mo’s starts ringing in Shen Qingqiu’s ears. ‘You were wrong. You’re not as special to him as you thought.’
Luo Binghe slowly starts to stalk off towards the mountain they were about to cross, their third of many to reach Xin Mo. He disappears into a small opening at the base, a cave that hardly looks big enough to fit him. But it does, swallowing him into darkness.
Shen Qingqiu goes to follow, but Xiao Huo’s hand on his shoulder keeps him in place.
“We can’t just leave him there! Something’s wrong. He needs our help. He needs my help–”
“A-Qiu, Luo Binghe is not himself right now. He could hurt you.” He already has. Xiao Huo can’t let it happen again.
The demoness Shen Qingqiu already forgot about makes a point of adjusting her robes. Apparently she wasn’t flaunting enough cleavage before. “Perhaps I should tend to him,” she announces.
Shen Qingqiu swears his neck cracks with the speed at which he turns to gawk at her. “You? You’re a stranger. Stay away from him if you know what’s good for you.”
“I will see to it that we are not strangers for long.” The demoness waves a cheery farewell as she struts towards the cave, losing more and more of her robes as she goes.
“I–” Shen Qingqiu is speechless. The arrogance on this one! He ought to teach her some manners.
“Leave her be,” Xiao Huo lowers the fist Shen Qingqiu pulls back his sleeve to bare. “Luo Binghe will deal with her accordingly.” He looks to the sky, noting its darkened hue. “We had better go find shelter for ourselves. It will be night soon. Luo Binghe will be fine. Let us give him time on his own to work through…whatever it is that’s bothering him.” Xiao Huo brightens. “A-Qiu can spend the night with me!”
Shen Qingqiu agrees and waits patiently as Xiao Huo runs off to fetch their Shadow Steed. His gaze catches on the corpse rotting a few feet away. Hm. Shen Qingqiu tiptoes over towards the dismembered pincer of the Snake-Tail Scorpion. Small, sharp ridges run along the length of the appendage and from them drip a thick, syrupy liquid. Poison. Except, the poison of the Snake-tailed Scorpion is green. This–Shen Qingqiu inches closer for a better look–this is yellow.
Xiao Huo is too busy trying to wrangle the Shadow Steed to notice Shen Qingqiu swiping his finger through the mystery secretion. It’s tacky. He brings it to his nose. And sweet! Almost like the pollen from the red Thousand Pleasure Poppies that are native to the Endless Abyss–
Oh.
Oh no.
Someone messed with the Snake-Tail Scorpion. Injected a liquified version of the aphrodisiac into its veins in order to infect its intended target. Sounds like a whole lot of work just to get laid. The demoness must’ve gone to great lengths to secure enough Thousand Pleasure Poppies to see her plan through. Too bad she won’t get to reap the rewards of her hard work. Not if Shen Qingqiu has anything to say about it.
“A-Qiu?” Xiao Huo swore he only turned his back for a second, and already Shen Qingqiu is gone. So frail and fragile after days without eating; a gust of wind would’ve been enough to carry him off! But if he had one guess as to where A-Qiu is…
“Come on!” Xiao Huo hurries towards the cave, dragging Luo Binghe’s disgruntled Shadow Steed with him.
There isn’t time for Shen Qingqiu to stop and catch his breath. He breaks past the entrance of the cave full-speed, Luo Binghe’s name on the tip of his tongue.
“B–” He doesn’t even get through the first syllable. Because there, on the dirty stone floor, propped against a crumbling boulder is Luo Binghe. And on top of him, is the demoness, the back of her head blocking Shen Qingqiu’s view of his darling bun’s face as she leans in.
Luo Binghe does not yell or push at her this time. In fact, his hands busy themselves at her waist, pulling at what little remains of her clothes.
Shen Qingqiu backtracks before either of them can tell he’s there. He flings himself against the outer wall of the cave, chest heaving. Calm down, calm down. Why can he calm down? Shen Qingqiu vaguely wonders if he might be having a qi deviation.
Stupid! What did he think would happen? That he’d run in there and take her place? That Luo Binghe would choose him instead? Luo Binghe says a few sweet lines in the hot springs and what–Shen Qingqiu thinks he likes him or something? Shen Qingqiu wants to bash his head against the mountain rock at his back until he forgets this whole thing ever happened.
Xiao Huo finds him in no time. “Is Junshang fine?” He says the title with the least respect he can possibly muster.
A moan–Luo Binghe? The Demoness? Who’s to say!–ripples out from the cave entrance.
And just like that, Shen Qingqiu is now deaf!
“Oh he’s fine alright. Let’s go, Xiao Huo. Luo Binghe will join us later.”
The full name. Xiao Huo grins. Who has lost Shen Qingqiu's favor now, huh?!
Shen Qingqiu slaps his hands over his ears as they depart. Looks like he bed warmer days, short-lived at they were, are officially over.
✦✦✦
They find an acceptable spot to lay their heads a few miles away. As per Shen Qingqiu’s request. He didn’t want to make it somewhere easy to find. A petty punishment, perhaps. But it’s not as if they’ll lose Luo Binghe for long. He’ll do the walk of shame right to their doorstep once he’s done, using the blood parasites as a guide. Unfortunately, there’s no such thing as a ‘block button’ when it comes to the protagonist.
Xiao Huo had left to go hunt for dinner, and while Shen Qingqiu hadn’t meant to fall asleep, he’s out like a light two seconds after closing his eyes.
It’s either a gentle bop of Xiao Huo’s beak or the calm press of Luo Binghe’s hand to his face that usually wakes Shen Qingqiu in the morning. This time it’s the drip drop of something wet on his cheek that rouses Shen Qingqiu back to the land of the living.
Curled on his side, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t realized Luo Binghe was looming over him until he turned to find the source of whatever leak opened up above his head.
“Shizun…”
Shen Qingqiu freezes. Their positions are flipped from the night before. Now it’s Luo Binghe on top, straddling him with his hands plastered down on either side of Shen Qingqiu’s head. The only difference is that Shen Qingqiu wasn’t covered entirely in blood.
“B-Binghe?” Another dot of red splats on the tip of Shen Qingqiu’s nose. Luo Binghe is drenched. Who’s blood is this? His?
Luo Binghe crashes down on Shen Qingqiu, nuzzling his stained face against Shen Qingqiu’s until they’re matching. “Why did Shizun leave me?” He whines.
‘Because you told me to!’
‘Stay away from me!’ and ‘Leave me alone!’ wasn’t it? Shizun was only listening to what you said!
Something about the situation is yelling at Shen Qingqu to run. He doubles down and stand his ground instead.
“Binghe seemed to be enjoying himself with the demoness.”
“Shizun should not worry about her any longer. She will not bother us again.” That’s Luo Binghe code for ‘I killed her.’ And bathed in her blood apparently! It’s all over his robes too, the stains leeching onto the fabric of Shen Qingqiu’s clothes as Luo Binghe slowly begins to rut against him.
“Shizun…it hurts.” Yet, through all that tortuous ‘pain’ Luo Binghe is still able to bat his lashes at him, pity personified. “Won’t Shizun help me? Please, please. Shizun, I need you–”
How dramatic. The effects of the Thousand Pleasures Poppies aren’t that unbearable. If left unattended, the aphrodisiac will clear from Luo Binghe’s system naturally overnight. He might wake up feeling hungover, a little blue-balled, but that’s not bad.
Still…why should Luo Binghe have to suffer at all?
Helping his disciple overcome physical–sexual–distress, surely this too falls under the umbrella of Shizun duties? Right?
(‘WRONG!’ screams every other peak lord of Cang Qiong Mountain.)
Shen Qingqiu tries to subtly shift to his back, but even the tiniest of movements has Luo Binghe gasping and grinding down against him harder. He’s making the most miserable, mesmerizing noises, so Shen Qingqiu can’t really be blamed for splitting his thighs apart and welcoming the baffling weight of The Heavenly Pillar against his own stiffening cock. It was a subconscious reaction, he swears! A reflex!
“Thank you Shizun, thank you!” Luo Binghe makes it sound like Shen Qingqiu performed a miracle, not spread his legs at the first moan he heard from Binghe.
“Let Shizun help you.” Oh god, and that corny line was involuntary too. It just came spilling from his mouth. Shen Qingqiu fears that soon something else is going to start spilling out too. Especially if Luo Binghe keeps moving against him like–like–
Shen Qingqiu swallows a groan as Luo Binghe dials up the pressure, rocking against him with wild, fanatical force–
Like that!
Luo Binghe’s lips have permanently suctioned themselves to the curve of Shen Qingqiu’s neck, his hand worshipful as he he pins Shen Qingqiu down by his hips, driving against him like if he tries hard enough, he might be able to fuck him through his clothes.
Is there a xianxia equivalent of hanging a sock on the outside door handle? Some proper way of telling Xiao Huo to busy himself longer should he come flying into the cave with dinner? Shen Qingqiu would really hate to be interrupted right now.
Even if someone were to waltz in on them, Shen Qingqiu isn’t sure Luo Binghe would be capable of stopping.
“Yes, yes! Shizun…Shizun…only Shizun–”
The demoness had been smart to approach him wearing the skin of Shen Qingqiu. She was a shapeshifter, and a talented one at that. To most people, her impersonation would appear impeccable. But Luo Binghe isn’t ‘most people’.
“Oh, you darling thing. It hurts doesn’t it? Let me help you. Be a good boy and lie still.”
Luo Binghe’s pulse is racing, his heartbeat drumming loudly in his ears. His body has never reacted well to aphrodisiacs on account of a few accidental occurrences with the particular…substance while mapping out the Endless Abyss. There are sexual stimulants a plenty here, in a way that Luo Binghe never understood, nor cared to. They were, at most, a mild inconvenience every time he ingested one, but now with Shizun at his side…
What if he were to force himself on him? What if he hurts Shizun?
He hadn’t meant to raise a hand to Shen Qingqiu, to push him away when all his instincts were screaming at him to do anything but that. Better that he hurt Shen Qingqiu a little now, than to hurt him a great deal more later. Luo Binghe vows to come crawling back to Shen Qingqiu on his hands and knees, begging for forgiveness, the moment he is able.
Shizun…just the thought of him leaves Luo Binghe aching. His demonic nature has long accepted Shen Qingqiu as its mate, and it’s punishing him for not seeking Shizun out in his time of need. His head pounds, like the demon half of his mind is trying to squeeze out from behind his eyes and go find Shen Qingqiu on it’s own. The excruciating pain subsides as ‘Shen Qingqiu’ enters the cave. Cold, instant relief washes through Luo Binghe’s veins. But not for long.
His body recognizes something is wrong before his mind does.
Luo Binghe growls, revealing his fangs as ‘Shen Qingqiu’ approaches, climbing atop his legs with a sneer that’s unbefitting on his master’s face.
“I’ll make it all better. I promise.” The Demoness plants his hands on her waist encouragingly. Even her movements are wrong, too quick and confident to be Shizun. She slithers forward to kiss him. Luo Binghe jerks his head away.
“No,” he cries. “I don’t want to.” A lie. Of course he wants to. But now here. Not now. Not like this.
He wants their first time to be special.
The demoness scoffs and tries again. Luo Binghe swerves to avoid her. Again. And again.
“I said lie still.”
Shen Qingqiu, the man who routinely put himself in harm's way for Luo Binghe like it’s his favorite pastime, would never slam him against the wall, pin his resistant arms to his side, force their mouths together–
“Gah!” The demoness snarls and swipes at Luo Binghe with her claws as his fangs tear into her lips and nearly succeed in ripping out her tongue. He lands a swift kick on her stomach, hurtling her halfway across the cave as he spits out the taste of her blood from his mouth. Disgusting.
The demoness staggers upright, disposes of her disguise, and wipes the red from her mouth, her laughter laced with a wicked edge. She’s much too happy for someone who has about thirty seconds left to live.
“Not enough to fool you, hm? Tell me, oh great lord of the south. What gave me away?”
“All of it.” Luo Binghe is a walking disgrace for having fallen for her treacherous act; if only for a moment. He should’ve known from the very beginning.
“I was trying to give you a peaceful end,” the demoness brandishes a knife from behind her back, sending it through three revolutions as she flicks it up into the air and catches it with her opposite hand. “Dying in the arms of your lover…isn’t that what everyone wants?”
Luo Binghe wants Shizun.
And he wants her dead.
Luo Binghe might have gone overboard, but he’s not wasting time thinking about that when Shizun is coming undone beneath him. His stifled sighs evolve to outright moans as his legs hook behind Luo Binghe’s back, urging him closer.
It’s a testament to how truly awful Shen Qingqiu felt about allowing the demoness to do this with Luo Binghe when he parries Luo Binghe’s ridiculous comment with an even more ridiculous one of his own.
‘Only Shizun,’ he had whined. That’s right.
“Binghe–mnh! S-Should only want Shizun.”
Luo Binghe keens in response. His hips stutter, knocking off the rhythm of his thrusts against Shen Qingqiu. “The demoness tried to be Shizun,” Suddenly it’s very important to Luo Binghe that Shen Qingqiu know that he never once entertained the idea of laying with that venomous woman. “She imitated your looks,” he suckles a bruise onto the soft spot under Shen Qingqiu’s jaw, “She imitated your voice,” another to his collarbone, “But I knew it wasn’t Shizun.”
The new information takes time to settle into Shen Qingqiu's muddled brain. The demoness was…a shapeshifter?
She tried to trick Binghe by playing him?
And Binghe could tell the difference?!
Great, well now Shen Qingqiu has to give him a blow job.
Baby steps. He starts with sneaking a hand into Luo Binghe’s robes and down his trousers.
“Ah–!” Luo Binghe’s cries are melodic as Shen Qingqiu releases his leaking cock from the confines of his robes. Generous globs of precome dribble down his shaft to wet at Shen Qingqiu’s clever fingers, providing him with the perfect lubricant to help stroke Luo Binghe in time to his own shuttering breathes.
In the hot springs, Luo Binghe recognized Shang Qinghua wasn’t him, and again in the cave with the demoness. Shen Qingqiu is a terrible, selfish person for the amount of satisfaction that comes rolling into his chest. Binghe wants him, and only him.
Even if it’s a fling; a temporary fixation, as Meng Mo would call it, Shen Qingqiu is going to milk Luo Binghe’s attention for all it’s worth. Because even though he won’t admit it to himself, much less to Binghe, Shen Qingqiu wants him, only him, too.
It would be nice to share these sentiments, maybe for once in his life be vulnerable and let Binghe know how he’s feeling instead of playing the part of the haughty, composed Peak Lord his disciple already knows him not to be, but Shen Qingqiu instead settles for tightening his grip around Luo Binghe so he can hear him whimper again. Because that’s a healthy way of communicating.
Luo Binghe, on the other hand, has no problem making his thoughts and feelings known.
“Nhg–yes! Shizun..Shizun is mine. I won’t ever settle for another. Never, never, never–” the babbling continues until Luo Binghe’s words become nothing more than an incoherent slur of Shizun, Shizun, Shizun over and over again. And Shen Qingqiu eats up every second of it.
Luo Binghe clamps his teeth down on Shen Qingqiu’s shoulder, hips spasming as he finally comes. The spurt of thick, hot cum startles Shen Qingqiu. The amount of it is egregious, soaking his hands and the front of his robes in a way that will have him absolutely reeking of Luo Binghe to any demon that may pass by. Good. He doesn’t want anyone else thinking they can take Binghe from him.
Shen Qingqiu stares, entranced by the way Luo Binghe unravels with pleasure. He’s beautiful. Like a blooming flower. He sounds beautiful too. Shen Qingqiu wants to hear more of those anguished moans. He jerks Luo Binghe off through the high of his orgasm, through every shudder and twitch, wishing it would never end. The Heavenly Pillar jolts pathetically in his hand, valiant in its effort to harden again, but Luo Binghe slumps atop of Shen Qingqiu, his adorable little snores filling the empty cave with noise. Right. In the case of Thousand Pleasure Poppies, once the victim dispels the excessive ying energy, they must rest to restore the balance of their qi. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly! What happened to that stallion stamina, huh?
It’s of no concern to Shen Qingqiu that he wasn’t able to finish. Sharing such an intimate moment with Binghe–his fanboy side flares to the surface, painting his cheeks pink–what an honor! Not just anyone can say they’ve laid with the Protagonist! He’s definitely not going to spend the rest of the day fantasizing about what might have happened if Luo Binghe didn’t pass out. Ordinary, a harem holder such as Binghe wouldn’t be satisfied with a single, clumsy hand job; Shen Qingqiu would have no choice but to take that monstrous cock inside him. For Binghe’s sake, of course. It’s not as if Shen Qingqiu wants to be bent over and fucked to oblivion. No, never…
Shen Qingqiu clears his throat, clears his mind, and sets to cleaning them up before Xiao Huo arrives. He thinks he’s done a good job of making it seem like nothing suspicious went down between them. His robes and hair are arranged back in place and Luo Binghe is merely asleep in his lap, tired from their travels. Yes, that’s what he’ll tell Xiao Huo.
Except the moment the Fury Falcon strides into the cave, he drops his hard earned dinner and covers his nose. “A-Qiu! You…him, did you–” he flails his arms in a reenactment of a idea he can’t bring himself to consider, even when his heightened sense of smell is telling him otherwise. And tried as he might, Shen Qingqiu wasn't able to cover up the incriminating evidence all over his neck.
“Binghe was just tired!” Shen Qingqiu’s voice is an octave too high to be considered sincere.
Xiao Huo’s sure he is after mauling at A-Qiu neck like that! It looks like he’s had a run in with an abyssal beast! He runs over to Shen Qingqiu, carelessly tossing a slumbering Luo Binghe to the sound, his head landing with a painful thump on the rocky floor. The mighty Junshang doesn’t so much as move an inch. He continues snoring as Xiao Huo kicks at him, rolling him to face the opposite wall. He can’t stand to see that mug of his right now.
“Did he force you?” It's the second time today Xiao Huo has considered how to kill a Heavenly Demon. Sure, Luo Binghe has the height advantage, the strength advantage, the agility advantage–well every advantage, but Xiao Huo isn’t called a Fury Falcon for nothing. He can get quite scrappy when the need arises. Luo Binghe won’t so much as take a step from his fortified palace without Xiao Huo barraging him from above. He will never know peace again, Xiao Huo guarantees it.
“Force what? There’s nothing to be forced here! Besides, Binghe would never!” There must be a joke inscribed on the cave wall that Shen Qingqiu chooses to look at instead of Xiao Huo, because he’s laughing , fanning himself with his hand. “He was tired, and the floor is so uncomfortable–”
Luo Binghe, face pressed into said floor, gives a sleepy grunt and snuggles closer to the wall. “Shizun…” he mumbles into the black stone that’s as rigid and flat as Shen Qingqiu apparently is to be mistaken for it. Sorry he doesn’t have a soft stomach and plush thighs and a bosom you can bury your face into! You didn’t seem to mind when you were grinding and humping all over him earlier!
Xiao Huo drops back onto his haunches, like he can’t support his own weight anymore. “So…you’ve chosen him, then?” And to think he was worried about the cultivators from the human realm stealing his A-Qiu. The real threat was right in front of him the whole time!
“Ah, what’s this about ‘choosing’? This one only wants to stay with Binghe for as long as he’ll have him.” Shen Qingqiu isn’t sure how long that will be. Until tomorrow? Until he returns to Qing Jing?
It doesn’t matter if Luo Binghe wants him for an hour or a year. Shen Qingqiu has chosen him. He will want Binghe forever. The man who sees him for who he really is. A person. Not a puppet playing ‘Shen Qingqiu’. A person who makes mistakes, who sends a beloved disciple into the Endless Abyss, who isn’t worthy of forgiveness but is given it anyways.
Shen Qingqiu laughs, but this time at himself. “It’s hopeless, isn’t it?” he shakes his head. They’ll be separated soon. For years. That’s enough time for feelings to fade. In fact, that’s exactly what Meng Mo is counting on.
What if Luo Binghe never comes back for him?
“A-Qiu, if that–” Xiao Huo thins his lips. A list of names to call Luo Binghe blitz to the forefront of his mind, but he doesn’t think referring to him as a ‘whiny, half-baked motherfucker’ will make Shen Qingqiu feel better. “If that bastard is really who you want, then you can’t give up! I’ll–I’ll help. I’ll deliver letters back and forth between the realms. I’ll make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t get himself into trouble.”
It sounds like rotten work. “You would do that for me?” Shen Qingqiu isn't sure what he did to deserve Xiao Huo.
Xiao Huo might do just about anything for Shen Qingqi if asked. “I want A-Qiu to be happy.” He goes to retrieve one of the demon carcasses he proudly scrounged up for Shen Qingqiu to eat. “I also want A-Qiu to try this.”
It’s not even cooked. Shen Qingqiu’s stomach churns. “Must I?”
“One bite,” Xiao Hup promises. He tears out a sliver of meat, placing it gently in Shen Qingqiu’s cupped hands.
Shen Qingqiu swallows it whole. If he chewed it, he’d probably spit it right back out. The texture is mucusy and slimy. If Shen Qingqiu tries hard enough, he can pretend it’s oyster.
Apparently that works, because after a few minutes of waiting and praying, Shen Qingqiu doesn’t get sick. He surprises Xiao Huo by asking for more. Both he and his stomach hum happily as he gorges himself on his first meal in days.
“What was it? A special demon of some kind?” Shen Qingqiu licks at his fingers, almost disappointed that Xiao Huo didn’t bring more. He had graciously given both his and Luo Binghe portions to Shen Qingqiu. Still, it wasn’t enough.
Xiao Huo sits lotus style, legs shifting awkwardly. He’s not as happy as Shen Qingqiu thought he would be at this new development. Did he prefer Shen Qingqiu vomit all over the cave instead?
“No…it was a plain rodent demon…”
Hm. How strange! Well, what does it matter anyways? He’s fed and that’s the important thing.
Xiao Huo doesn’t appear to agree.
Notes:
y'all I swear the food thing becomes relevant soon. Just trust me.
If you can't tell already, I'm a big advocate for the "bottom LBH" agenda. He's the only MXTX gong to canonically offer to do it! And I think that's beautiful (and hot asdaggfkj).
SQQ: I'm just a bed warmer for LBH
MM: you're just a bed warmer for LBH
SQQ: ...okay first of all, FUCK you, second of all-God he's so dumb.
Yes, LBH does get anime nosebleeds when he's excited. No, there's no logical reason behind it.
There's so much going on in this chapter. If it feels very rushed to you, that intentional bcs we haven't even gotten to like the MAIN plot and I'm trying to hurry it along. but there's just a few things I have to set in place first. I feel like I've seen saying that for the past four chapters now haha. I really mean it this time!!
Next chapter: I can't even describe it without getting into spoilers...um. Xin Mo is found!
Thank you so much for reading <333
Chapter 6: Ultimate Virgin
Summary:
Luo Binghe rambles like he's drunk. “Shizun must know…you occupy my every thought. You motivate my every movement. Without you, I am nothing.” He is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by his words, by Shen Qingqiu’s sweet mouth as it skims over his jaw. He dumped hours of his time into pacing the throne room with his war generals to rehearse this exact speech, just for all that hard work and practice to flounder under Shen Qingqiu’s lips on his, his body arching into Luo Binghe’s touch.
Notes:
Me??? Posting a week early?? It's a miracle! The truth is actually I'm horribly sick so I had nothing better to do than sit in bed and write this. I'm not sure what's worse, coughing up a lung or having to write action UGH i hate writing it sm it's definitely not my strong suit, but I'll get through it one clunky scene description at a time.
Now y'all....not to get too hopeful or anything but we've got the svsss deluxe hardbacks, the physical book release in China (I don't wanna talk about how they're gonna have to censor it, it makes me too sad), and now the official donghua release on Crunchyroll? Dare I say we’re about to have a svsss revival??? svsss s2 when?!
Anyways, I'm proud to say the main plot of the fic is finally starting. I'm so excited hehe. Only took 50k+ words. Fyi, that was NOT part of the plan. That was Binghe adding in all that extra Bingqiu fluff and smut, not me!!!
Okay, okay. Enjoy the update :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Luo Binghe comes to with a mysterious bump on his head, and the impression that he just woke from a particularly pleasant dream. Meng Mo should be proud. This dream creation Shizun he found and ravished in a cave was the most realistic he’s been able to conjure up so far. He isn’t sure what triggered such a breakthrough in his technique. Maybe his recent proximity to Shizun? Seeing him, hearing him, feeling him–it’s enough to make even the most novice of artists pick up a brush and pen poems, paint murals, or in Luo Binghe’s case, create widely inappropriate dreamscapes.
“Binghe? Are you awake?”
And you know what’s even better? Stirring from a spring dream of his Shizun and opening his eyes to the real, living, breathing version of him. Luo Binghe doesn’t care that he’s apparently been beaten in his sleep, or that he was thrown on top of the Shadow Steed to sleep off the effects of the aphrodisiac. He gets to yawn and hold his hand out, all drowsy and limp, and be given Shen Qingqiu’s in return.
Even something as simple as this sends an ecstatic jolt to his chest. “Shizun…” Binghe drawls. “I had a dream about you.”
Shen Qingqiu tilts his head in question, further exposing the shocking amount of love marks on his neck. And make no mistake, that is what they are.
The blood drains from Luo Binghe’s face.
“Where is he?” That damn bird. Luo Binghe is going to turn him inside out and feed him to the next abyssal beast they find. How dare he take advantage of Shizun like this? He must’ve planned this from the start, biding his time until Luo Binghe was weakened to make his move.
Shen Qingqiu squeezes his hand. What a brave front he’s putting up after surviving such a vicious attack. “Xiao Huo? He flew ahead to survey the mountain for us. Nevermind him. Binghe, how do you feel?”
Fondness swells in Luo Binghe heart, in his eyes, welling into big bubbly tears that drip down his cheeks. It’s so like Shen Qingqiu to put Luo Binghe’s health before his own “Shizun, I am fine. Please do not worry about me. How are you? Are you hurt?”
Hurt? Sure, Binghe was a little rough. But he wasn’t that rough. Shen Qingqiu coughs into his fist. “It was nothing your Shizun couldn’t handle.” Really, Binghe. There’s no need to cry. Your Shizun is just too much of a wuss to admit that he liked being manhandled a bit.
Shen Qingqiu channels all his nervous, excess energy into swinging their joined hands. The Shadow Steed chortles, as though to express its disgust as such a shameless display of affection. The horse should be happy Luo Binghe is a gentleman and didn’t fool around with him when they were on its back! According to Regrets of Chunsan, that was once a way he and Binghe passed the time on long journeys.
(Don’t let Luo Binghe find out, or he might actually try it.)
“I’m relieved, I wasn’t sure if…” Shen Qingqiu can’t bring himself to say something as vulgar as ‘handjob’ to his dear protagonist. What’s the PG equivalent? A ‘helping hand’? A ‘rub and tug’? “...that was enough to rid your body of the toxin, but you fell asleep so suddenly afterwards that I assumed it was. You’ll have to forgive your Shizun for his lack of expertise. I’m not–it’s not something I–”
It’s not like Luo Binghe to daze off when Shizun speaks to him, but he finds himself occupied by the shape and placement of each blooming bruise on Shen Qingqiu’s neck. At least two on each side. Under the jaw. By the clavicle. Further down past his robes. It’s a mirror to his dream. Luo Binghe’s lips purse as if remembering the sensation. But that can’t be.
“What I’m trying to say is–! What I wanted to ask was…” Shen Qingqiu is as red as candied cherries. Luo Binghe wants to bite his cheeks to see if he tastes just as sweet. “Was Binghe satisfied with my…performance?” The last word comes out as a squeak.
It clicks into place then. Luo Binghe spends one second feeling silly for his initial read of the situation, and the next ten replaying every moment of last night. Xiao Huo, you lucky bastard. It would appear you get to live another day.
Shen Qingqiu gulps, watching the red crawl into Luo Binghe’s eyes, his huadian pulsing. “Satisfied doesn’t begin to describe it. Shizun was transcendent. “ The Shadow Steed comes to an abrupt stop as Luo Binghe yanks the reins, bolting upright in the saddle. His mouth drops open in horror. “Shizun I–you didn’t–!” While Luo Binghe enjoyed an earth shattering, life changing orgasm, his beloved was left with nothing. He throws himself off the horse and at Shen Qingqiu’s feet. “Shizun, I am undeserving of you. Please punish me as you see fit!” His one moment to prove his love and devotion to Shizun and he fell asleep. Luo Binghe starts pulling at the hem of Shen Qingqiu’s robes, fingers slipping up to caress the skin hidden underneath. “Allow this lowly one to make it up to you!” His touch trails higher.
Right now?! Shen Qingqiu shoos Luo Binghe away as kindly as he can. “It’s fine, really. I’m not upset.”
Well Luo Binghe is. He will redeem himself next time. Perhaps at the Bamboo House? Before he has to return to the Endless Abyss? Maybe if they're loud enough, that brooding shishu of his will finally take a hint. Even better, they can sneak onto Bai Zhan and give him a live performance! Ah, but Shizun would never agree. The Bamboo House with every door and window open it is, then.
Luo Binghe is quick to dismount the Shadow Steed and offer the seat to Shen Qingqiu instead. He’s silently grateful. Shen Qingqiu thought after feeding himself, he’d feel more energized. Somehow it's the opposite. He slumps against the demon horse’s mane. “Shizun will rest now, if that is alright.”
Luo Binghe hesitates before agreeing. “Shizun still does not feel well?”
“I will be fine once I return to the human realm,” Shen Qingqiu says, and Luo Binghe foolishly believes it.
✦✦✦
Shen Qingqiu tries his best not to get swept up in all of Luo Binghe’s antics, but the boy doesn’t make it easy for him. Luo Binghe is the definition of a romantic.
Once it’s revealed to Luo Binghe that Shen Qingqiu’s palate has adapted to demonic delicacies, he throws his all into preparing Shen Qingqiu’s food. Three meals a day with multiple courses, and snacks in between to help tide him over until Luo Binghe presents him with his next feast. It’s all too much. But why let it go to waste? Shen Qingqiu eats every bite.
Every beast that is slain is proudly dropped at Shen Qingqiu’s feet in a manner that reminds Shen Qingqiu of Liu Qingge. He claps and sings Binghe’s praise, patting at his head as he cleans the blood from his beaming face.
Shen Qingqiu will look away for one moment and turn back to find a bouquet of native Abyss plants shoved under his nose. Cut and arranged by Luo Binghe himself. As soon as one set of flowers dies, another is made to replace it. Shen Qingqiu picks the prettiest blossoms to braid into Luo Binghe’s hair, or weave into cute little crowns and bracelets. Luo Binghe wears them all with pride and refuses to share a single one with Xiao Huo.
“Shizun, come with me,” he whispers one night, stirring him awake when the red skies of the day have turned to a blanket of black. Rubbing his eyes, Shen Qingqiu lets Luo Binghe lead him away from their camp. They don’t go far when Luo Binghe stops and points. Shen Qingqiu sees it, just a few meters above, traversing the higher peaks of the mountain: A Star-spotted Lynx. The cat-like creature is stunning, its dark coat dotted with glowing patches of fur that very much do twinkle like the stars they’re named after. But it’s not just one Lynx. Shen Qingqiu spots its mate trailing just behind, and under their legs? A gaggle of four fat, fluffy cubs with ears too big for their heads and star-spots that are just beginning to develop on their back.
Luo Binghe speaks softly so as not to disturb the traveling pack. “They passed by our camp, but did not attack.” Shen Qingqiu tries not to coo as a cub slips and falls, yowling until its mother lifts it up by the scruff of its neck and carries it back towards its siblings. “I was going to dispose of them, but I remembered Shizun’s adoration for all manner of beasts and plants in this place. And I realized, there is beauty and wonder and goodness everywhere, but only for those with the eyes to see it. If Shizun can see even a glimmer of that in me, then perhaps I can see it in others too.”
“Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu is dangerously close to swooning. He cups his cheek, swallowing his heart when Binghe turns to lay a silent kiss to his palm. “I see all that and more in you. You know that, don’t you?”
Luo Binghe could almost be mistaken for a Star-spotted Lynx with his big fluffy hair and shining tears. “I do now.”
It’s their first kiss since Luo Binghe, um–fed him his blood parasites. Now Shen Qingqiu really does swoon. He hits every cliche in the book: heart pounding, knees buckling, releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding, but that doesn’t even begin to cover the reality of kissing Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu likes the word Luo Binghe used. Transcendent. That’s really the one way to describe it.
There’s countless other ways to describe it too. Sloppy, messy, desperate. Luo Binghe doesn’t know how to slow down. He kisses Shen Qingqiu like it’s his last chance to, and Shen Qingqiu will be damned if that’s the case.
“Easy now,” Shen Qingqiu teases as he pulls away. A string of saliva snaps from between their lips and somehow that seems more obscene than anything else they’ve done at this point. Luo Binghe whimpers when Shen Qingqiu evades his next kiss with a scolding finger pressed to his lips. “There’s no need to rush. I’m not going anywhere.”
Luo Binghe, the rascal, licks up his finger, trying to lure it into his mouth. Shen Qingqiu's response is an undignified noise he won't ever admit to making. “Apologies Shizun.” He doesn’t sound all that repentant. Doesn’t act it either as he bites at Shen Qingqiu’s lower lip, begging to be let back inside. “I find it hard to control myself at times.” He has years of pent up desires, and only a few days to act on them before the dry spell begins again. Luo Binghe has to make the most of each moment.
Shen Qingqiu lazily twirls the end of Luo Binghe’s ponytail. “Sometimes going slower is better. Let Shizun show you.” Like the good Shizun he is, Shen Qingqiu provides Luo Binghe the hands-on demonstration he so obviously needs. Experience is the best teacher, and Luo Binghe has about as much experience kissing as Shen Qingqiu does with being honest with himself. They'll figure it out eventually.
It’s almost like a guqin lesson. They go over the basics. Rhythm, pacing, pressure, technique–it isn't long before Luo Binghe has mastered the art, plucking at the strings of Shen Qingqiu’s body until he’s singing.
“Ngh–hm!”
Shen Qingqiu can taste the mischief in Luo Binghe’s voice as he smiles against his lips, coaxing out yet another sinful note of pleasure from him. “Careful, Shizun. Or everyone in the western palace will hear you.”
That might be steam coming from Shen Qingqiu’s face from the intensity of his blush. “And who’s fault is that?” He gives Luo Binghe a harmless bonk to the head. Luo Binghe rallies with a burst of feather-light pecks to Shen Qingqiu’s cheeks, his forehead, and nose. Eventually Luo Binghe finds his way back to Shen Qingqiu’s lips.
“Shizun wants me to develop a new skill, yet won’t allow me to practice it?” That’s hardly a conducive environment for learning.
“You’ve had enough practice for one night!” Shen Qingqiu says, only to end up underneath his troublesome disciple an hour later after Luo Binghe insisted they ‘share their body heat, lest Shizun get sick from the drafty mountain air’. It is cold. That’s the only reason why Shen Qingqiu agreed to let Luo Binghe wriggle into his arms. Bunched together underneath a single, black outer robe, they find a much more effective means of staying warm.
Luo Binghe at least has the courtesy to tuck Xiao Huo into a nice, deep sleep before getting started.
There’s no hiding the evidence of their tryst at breakfast, but it’s not the new marks on Shen Qingqiu’s wrist that draw Xiao Huo’s attention.
“A-Qiu, your nails.” There’s a mix of horror and concern on Xiao Huo’s face as he silently bids Shen Qingqiu's hand into his own.
So his nails have gotten a little long, a little sharp. He’s in the Endless Abyss okay? There’s not exactly a manicurist here to help file them down. It’s been almost two weeks. A bit of growth is to be expected.
Xiao Huo runs Shen Qingqiu’s index finger down his palm and sure enough, it cuts at the delicate skin like a knife through butter.
Well. That is rather strange, isn't it?
Now it makes sense why Luo Binghe got up this morning looking like he got in a cat fight. Except he wears every scratch like a badge of honor while Xiao Huo’s innate demonic healing abilities close the wound on his hand straight away.
Xiao Huo’s urgency is unmatched as he pulls Shen Qingqiu to his feet and helps him board the Shadow Steed.
“What? What is it?” Binghe spent so much time preparing breakfast for them this morning; it would be a shame to have to take it as an order to-go.
Luo Binghe, two servings in hand, is equally confused. “What is the meaning of this?”
“We’re leaving now.” Something about his voice must convince Luo Binghe because next thing Shen Qingqiu knows, he’s taking the reins and leading him towards the final mountain.
“This one will see to it that you return to the human realm before sundown.” Ah, Xiao Huo. All this fuddy-duddy seriousness is really unbefitting on you. You’re starting to scare your A-Qiu. And here he thought maybe he could drag his feet and stick around a little longer, if Binghe let him. It’s not as if there’s anything to look forward to back home.
It’s fine. Airplane is sure to have the whole engagement thing sorted out by now. Surely Shen Qingqiu will have nothing to worry about when he returns.
✦✦✦
“No. Ugly. Next, please.”
“Shizun…” Ning Yingying drops the fourth set of robes she’s tried to endear her master to. She doesn’t remember him being this picky. Marriage candidates have already started arriving to Cang Qiong. Construction on the battle arena is nearly complete. They only have a few days until the tournament and Shizun has nothing to wear. It’s a travesty.
They move on to option number five. A personal favorite of Ning Yingying’s.
“Absolutely not.”
Ning Yingying hugs the red fabric to her chest, dark and seductive like crushed berries. “But Shizun, isn’t this color so romantic?”
No. Shang Qinghua is not wearing red ceremonial attire today, tomorrow, the day of the tournament, or any day after because he’s not getting married. Capisce?!
Someone knocks on the door. For the millionth time today. It had only been a few minutes since Gongyi Xiao and his gaudy ten horse procession was turned away and tasked with donating all of Shen Qingqiu’s betrothal gifts to a struggling village just outside the mountain.
“No one’s here!” Both Shang Qinghua and Ning Yingying yell. Qi Qingqi throws the door open anyways. She’s swapped her usual long, loose, flowery robes for something more suited to combat. A short, lightweight robe with pants underneath. Pants! Shang Qinghua is pretty sure he made it illegal for women to wear pants in PIDW. How else could they seduce Luo Binghe if not for flashing a little leg after Luo Binghe saves them from some kind of clothes eating demon that was targeting young women in the area?
Qi Qingqi looks a bit like a demon herself with her make-up darkened and smudged around the edges. She's sweating. She’s been practicing. And thank god for that because last Shang Qinghua heard, Liu Qingge hasn’t left the training fields for three days. Her sword, seldomly removed from her waist, is used to point behind her. “They’re fighting out there again,”
Shang Qinghua can hear it now. The sound of bloody fists and cheers. “And you just walked by?” Never, in any scenario, should Shang Qinghua be the most rational person in the room. Qi-shimei, go be the responsible adult and keep the little gremlins from killing each other please! Because he’s certainly not going to!
‘Not my peak, not my problem,’ says the shrug Qi Qingqi gives him.
Tensions were high on Cang Qiong. With five peak lords in the running to be Shen Qingqiu’s spouse, the disciples of Qing Jing had their work cut out for them.
“Your brute of a master wasn’t worthy of Shizun before, and he isn’t worthy of him now!”
Yang Yixuan seems more upset at the offense said about Liu Qingge than the broken nose Ming Fan just gave him. Blood dribbling down his chin, he tackles Ming Fan to the ground. A flock of dough-brained disciples from Qiong Ding, Bai Zhan, Qian Cao, and Wan Jian watch as they take turns pummeling each other. Between the two young men, it’s hard to say who’s winning and who’s losing. A pair of girls scream as a bloody tooth come hurtling at them. It's anyone's guess as to who's it is.
This is ridiculous. “Ming Fan, aim for the chin!” Shang Qinghua yells from the front porch of the Bamboo House. A good punch there will knock out the Bai Zhan War God fanboy for good.
Qi Qingqi swats at him no. “No you blubbering idiot, go do something!”
“But I wanna see who wins.”
Behind them, Ning Yingying has both hands raised, jumping like there’s springs attached to the bottom of her feet. “Get him, A-Fan!”
Ming Fan, fist raised as he pulls Yang Yixuan up by the collar, stops to give her a dumb, partially toothless smile. Bad idea. Yang Yixuan grabs his ponytail and yanks hard enough to rip every last hair off Ming Fan’s head, and then the two are off again.
“Unslightly.” Qi Qingqi’s girls are nowhere to be seen. They are proper ladies and will not engage in such petty fights. Instead they are touring the numerous peaks, taking spirit stone bets on who is most likely to win Shen Qingqiu’s hand.
The fight is, if anything, entertaining. So entertaining, that Shang Qinghua doesn't notice a new visitor with an armful of gifts arrive to the peak until it's too late.
“Um, excuse me. Master Shen–”
Oh no. Another sniveling admirer come to pay their respects to Shen Qingqiu? Shang Qinghua pushes Qi Qingqi towards the well meaning young man as a distraction and makes a break for the door.
“Hey!” Qi Qingqi yells.
“No time for visitors, thank you!”
Ning Yingying slinks back inside with him. There’s a chorus of voices creeping in from the open window, chanting MING FAN! MING FAN! MING FAN! Wow, so the pipsqueak pulled through. Cucumber-bro would be happy to know his head disciple is working hard and loosing teeth to protect his honor.
“Shizun, let’s try this one on and see.” Ning Yingying already has a handful of colorful robes and twinkling jewelry she’s approaching him with. “And we must decide what to do with your hair, and oh! You really should let me apply something to your cheeks and lips. It will really bring out the green in your eyes! Then we must see which shoes will go best with your dress.”
Dress? Who said he was wearing a dress?!
Shang Qinghua thinks he might’ve preferred to deal with Cucumber-bro’s harem members after all.
Meanwhile, the correspondence from Mobei-jun demanding his return to the north right this instant, is left unanswered.
✦✦✦
The highest point of Heaven’s Summit. They’re almost there.
Crossing mountains was one thing. Climbing up one is another. They had only made it so far with the Shadow Steed stumbling on uneven terrain , thousands of feet up in the air, before Luo Binghe declared they fly instead. It was a risk. Riding on Chanzui left Luo Binghe weaponless. The flying beasts of the abyss would be quick to kill them if they weren’t careful enough. With Xiao Huo covering their backs, they managed to find a flat area just before the summit to land and gather their bearings. Or in Shen Qingqiu case, gather his courage.
“Binghe, before we go.” Luo Binghe dismounts first and helps Shen Qingqiu step off Chanzui. He kisses his knuckles, quick and chaste, and brings Shen Qingqiu close. The path is narrow and Luo Binghe does not fancy the idea of his Shizun falling to his death. Nor does he fancy the idea of Shen Qingqiu being so near him and not being held. Not when this is the last chance Luo Binghe might have to do so for some time. Has their journey to Xin Mo finally come to an end? Exchanging his Shizun for a mighty, dimension defying sword seems like a cheap trade.
“Yes Shizun?” Luo Binghe’s words turn to puffs of fog as he speaks, the cold making him want to coax Shen Qingqiu closer. Xiao Huo has gone ahead. He realizes the two of them are stalling, in their own way. Luo Binghe fussing over Shen Qingqiu safety, and Shen Qingqiu digging for something in his sleeves. They’ve never really been good at goodbyes. Shen Qingqiu used to spend hours making sure Luo Binghe had everything for a mission before finally letting him step foot off the mountain. Likewise, Shen Qingqiu was never to leave the Bamboo House before informing Luo Binghe of exactly where he was going, what he was doing, who he was with, when he would be back–no, Binghe. You can’t come along. Yes, Liu Qingge will be there. Oh no, you feel sick all of the sudden? Okay, Shizun will stay…
There’s no excuse this time to keep Shen Qingqiu in his company any longer. This was Luo Binghe’s choice. It is not safe for Shen Qingqiu here. He’s choosing to send him home. To not return with him. There is no one to be upset at but himself and his inadequacy in purifying the abyss. He should’ve worked harder, longer, faster. He never should have sent that letter. He never should have gone to the Immortal Alliance Conference. He should have whisked Shizun away when he was seventeen. Away from the sect and duties and the licentious eyes of others. Should have. Should have. Should have. There is no changing the past. There’s only one thing Luo Binghe needs to do now, one thing he must say now to Shizun.
The System screen above Shen Qingqiu's head buzzes with anxiety. [Is User Shen Yuan sure?]
Yes, yes! It’s the third time the System has asked him since he requested the fake guanyin pendant be removed from his inventory. This was never for Shen Qingqiu to keep. He’s hoarded it for eight years. It’s not fair of him to keep it a minute longer. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t need a keepsake of Binghe’s anymore. Binghe is alive. He is happy, he is healthy. And best of all, he’s coming back for Shen Qingqiu.
'What do you think of that, Meng Mo?!'
“Forgive your Shizun for keeping it all this time,” Shen Qingqiu feels the weight of the fake pendant drop into his sleeve and he pulls it out as if it were there the whole time. Luo Binghe’s breath catches. “I found it many years ago, after a scuffle between Binghe and Ming Fan.”
Luo Binghe remembers. He also remembers the familiar leaf spell that had saved him at that time. Shizun is not always as subtle as he thinks he is.
The necklace is in perfect condition. Luo Binghe could not have asked for better hands to keep it safe.
“Shizun should keep it.”
Shen Qingqiu’s shoulders drop. “You don’t want it?”
“Of course I do. And I will have it again soon,” Luo Binghe loops the pendant around Shen Qingqiu’s neck, tucks it close to his rabbitting heart. “When I return to the human realm to claim what’s mine.”
Oh. Sexy metaphors. Shen Qingqiu likes that. He likes that a lot. So much so that he welcomes the kiss Luo Binghe gives him with open arms. And two seconds later, an open mouth.
Every kiss feels like their first. Will it always be like this? Like lightning in Luo Binghe’s veins? Like fireworks in his stomach?
It will be. How can kissing Shizun feel like anything less?
Luo Binghe still doesn’t know how he’s earned the right to do so. What saintly deeds had he completed in his past life in order to grope and lick and bite all over Shizun in this one? And what can he do to ensure he’s able to do all that and more to Shizun in this life, and the next one, and the one after that, rolling forever into eternity?
Soul binding? Reincarnation? Well. They are immortals. They have time to figure it out. For now, Luo Binghe is going to enjoy this.
Time and place. Shen Qingqiu has drilled this specific lesson into Binghe many times now; ever since he started trying to shove his hand down Shen Qingqiu’s robes the moment Xiao Huo turns his back. Luo Binghe is usually such a good student, his best student, but this subject he doesn’t want to seem to learn. Shen Qingqiu should reprimand him. Holding his cheek, returning the kiss, stoking the fire, is not going to help. But it doesn’t hurt to try, right?
“Shizun, there’s something I must tell you.” Luo Binghe breaks away first and tries to have a reasonable reaction to Shen Qingqiu pouting and leaning back in for more. He fails. Now Shen Qingqiu is pushed up against mountain rock with a diabolically placed knee between his legs and two hands trying their best to see how close they can get to grabbing his ass without him noticing.
“Binghe had something to say to Shizun?” Shen Qingqiu’s trying his best to be present, but Luo Binghe’s cursed mouth makes that quite the challenging task. He nips at Shen Qingqiu’s bottom lip until he draws blood, licking away the evidence of his unruly behavior and sealing the small wound with his blood parasites–just to do it again and again because the sound Shizun makes each time is simply divine.
Luo Binghe rambles like he’s drunk. “Shizun must know…you occupy my every thought. You motivate my every movement. Without you, I am nothing.” He is overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by his words, by Shen Qingqiu’s sweet mouth as it skims over his jaw. He dumped hours of his time into pacing the throne room with his war generals to rehearse this exact speech, just for all that hard work and practice to flounder under Shen Qingqiu’s lips on his, his body arching into Luo Binghe’s touch.
“It should be grand and romantic! Like you are reading a poem, my Lord.”
If the situation were less dire, Luo Binghe might’ve found hilarity in his tough, battled-scared generals discussing the best means of confession, but it’s been four years and Luo Binghe is nowhere closer to perfecting his love declaration than he was at fourteen years old. He’s claimed over half the Endless Abyss as his own. It’s only a matter of time before it’s ready to welcome its Empress home and Luo Binghe must be ready.
“No. If your Shizun is as oblivious as you’ve made us believe, it should be short and direct. To avoid any misunderstandings.”
Sha Hualing rolls her eyes at the idiot men around her. “Just take him to bed,” she says, like it’s that simple. Luo Binghe knows it is for her. He's lost count of how many demonesses have found their way into his top general's bed chambers. “Let your body do the talking. Impress him with your skills, Lord Luo.”
Luo Binghe, the ultimate virgin who will unknowingly come after three strokes from his Shizun and pass out on top of him, nods.
In the end, he combined all their advice. A flowery speech with lines pulled directly from the personal writing journal he used to hide under the floorboards of his room in the Bamboo House, a forward statement of intent (‘I love you Shizun. Please allow me the honor to wed you.’ He used to practice in the bronze mirror of his personal quarters in the southern palace, reciting the proposal again and again until he was able to do so without choking up. He’s trying to prove to Shizun he’s a man now. He can’t possibly be seen crying!), followed by a whole day of celebratory bed breaking when Shen Qingqiu says yes.
It’s a perfect plan. And it’s all ruined the moment Luo Binghe blurts out–
“I love you, Shizun!”
A flock of Twilight Skulls Bats can be heard screeching three miles away in the silence that follows.
Shen Qingqiu, frozen in the act of sprawling himself all over his rapidly blushing disciple, thinks he might’ve just been doused by a bucket of ice water.
But just as quickly as the cold strike of shock shoots through his spine, the warm weight of Luo Binghe’s words settles over his skin, sinks into his chest, and injects itself straight to his beating heart. Someone check his pulse. He’s gonna faint.
Shen Qingqiu’s mouth drops open uselessly, a million thoughts translating into one confused ‘huh?’ as Luo Binghe tugs him into a shaking embrace.
“It is alright,” Luo Binghe comforts him, despite him being the one crying out of the two; another piece of his plan he failed at. “I know this is sudden; Shizun need not say it back yet. I just–I could not bear the thought of us parting without you knowing.”
‘I think I love you too,’ Shen Qingqiu would’ve said had Xiao Huo not come racing down towards them, nearly flinging himself off the mountainside in his rush.
“It’s not there!” he cries, just on the edge of hysterical.
Shen Qingqiu pushes past Luo Binghe. That boy– he must’ve kissed Shen Qingqiu silly because there’s no way he just heard Xiao Huo say Xin Mo is not there.
Xiao Huo looks like he might be sick. “It’s just as you described it, A-Qiu. But the sword…it’s gone.”
No. There’s nowhere else it could be. Shen Qingqiu ignores Luo Binghe’s pleas of concern as he stumbles up the steep path to the summit.
Most mountains in Heaven’s summit come to a perfect point at the top. This one is different. The pulsing, dark qi can be seen thrumming through the rocky foundation in lines of red as Shen Qingqiu hurries past, culminates to a flattened pool of energy at the peak. And in the middle of it all, a stone inscribed in a language Shen Qingqiu can’t read or speak since Airplane thought the random scribbles looked cool. He also thought ripping off ‘The Sword in the Stone’ was cool by sheathing Xin Mo straight through the rock; it’s resting place until the mighty hands of the protagonist came to wrench it free.
Turns out the golden finger doesn’t belong to Luo Binghe. It belongs to whatever demon stumbles upon it first.
“Sorry to disappoint you, pretty thing.”
Or whatever purple-haired, smart-mouthed flirt got there first.
Shen Qingqiu swings at the croning voice behind him, but whatever qi he has left to charge Xiu Ya with is only enough to make He Xun laugh as he easily evades the blow. He leaps over Shen Qingqiu, perching himself on the empty sword stone.
“Aw, I missed you too. But I must say darling, you look awful.” Like a gargoyle lurching from the edge of a deteriorating building, He Xun drops to his haunches and leans forward for a better look. He grabs Shen Qingqiu by the jaw, claws digging into Shen Qingqiu cheeks and begging him for a chance to prove just how sharp they are as he turns him this way and that. “I take it the adjustment’s not going so well, is it? That tends to be the case for humans.”
Shen Qingqiu smacks his hand away. “How did you–”
“I thought all those stories in the south about the ‘great’ heavenly demon and his former master were cheap gossip. Seeing you two together at the hunt, well only an idiot would have to think it wasn’t true then. The mutt is capable of love! Who would’ve thought?”
He Xun’s grateful. Truly. There’s no one easier to manipulate than a sorry bastard in love.
Speaking of.
“Luo Binghe! How nice of you to join us!” He Xun has a wealth of uses for Shen Qingqiu, but right now nothing suits him more than being a hostage. He plays his part well. He Xun’s hand around his throat, his claws teasing at his pulse point, is enough to make both him and Luo Binghe rethink whatever rescue operation they think is going to happen here.
“He Xun!” Luo Binghe has had enough of that slimy bastard holding his Shizun captive. Was his warning last time insufficient? A volcanic eruption is child’s play. How about a landslide to bury the entire western palace? That ought to do the trick.
“Oh, don’t act so surprised.” He Xun creeps closer, pushing Shen Qingqiu ahead of him as the human shield he is. “Did you really think we didn’t know the moment you crossed into western territory? Did you ever stop to wonder why it was so easy for you to travel all the way here? I put a lot of work into making sure all my patrols conveniently passed you by. And honestly, do you have any idea how many men it took to clear out the more dangerous abyssal beasts in the area so you and sweetheart here could enjoy some late-night walks? I think I deserve a ‘thank you’.”
Dread sits like a rock in Shen Qingqiu’s stomach. They’d been watching them the whole time. What all had they seen? Was every cherished moment with Binghe cheapened to shallow entertainment for He Xun? Was he amused? Disgusted? Was it worth it?
He Xun howls in laughter at their collective disbelief. It was worth it.
“I’ll admit, it was a gamble to assume you’d come here. But you strike me as the type to risk war over a measly human.” He Xun steals a lock of Shen Qingqiu’s hair, its texture like the soft, velvety insides of a flower petal, a treat against his calloused fingertips. He sniffs. Shen Qingqiu smells like a claimed mate–like Luo Binghe. The scent is overpowering, so much so that a lesser demon might’ve keeled over by now. Just as Luo Binghe would like. But He Xun grins and bears it, kissing at the strand of black in his hands. “Though I must say, you did pick a fine one.”
He Xun, completely unarmed, doesn’t so much as flinch as Luo Binghe charges at him.
He’s not much of a fighter, but he’s never had to be. Not with his cousin around.
The figure that drops down from the skies and towards Luo Binghe isn’t immediately familiar.
The weapon they wield is.
Chanzui is a fine sword. A more than worthy tool in the protagonist’s rise to power. But even with the qi of thousands of beasts imbued into its blade, it’s still not enough for Xin Mo.
Luo Binghe feels the fine hair at the back of his neck start to rise. He braces for impact. Chanzui raised above him, it takes two hands to hold the sword up against the barrage of demonic qi thrust upon him. The black steel of Chanzui’s blade screams as it clashes with Xin Mo. Luo Binghe grits his teeth, the earth beneath his feet cracking at the force of impact.
There’s no deflecting a blow like this. Only surviving.
It’s with great elegance that wife number thirty-three sends Luo Binghe flying off the summit. The woman who spent fifty chapters in the Endless Abyss clinging hopelessly to Luo Binghe’s coattails before accruing enough fandom fame to officially join the harem is holding Xin Mo. Is kicking the protagonist’s ass with Xin Mo. It can’t be real. Shen Qingqiu spends a few moments blinking at her, waiting for this hallucination to end.
He should’ve caught onto the resemblance earlier. Song Yuehua bears the same red demonic marks as He Xun, except her patterns act almost as exaggerated make-up because come on, she can’t have the same cool stripes and zigzags across her face as He Xun. Her markings must look like eyeliner and lipstick because otherwise how would the audience know she’s a girl? Her perfectly curved figure and plentiful bust won’t be enough to get the point across.
While He Xun’s purple hair is dark, short, and playful, Song Yuehua’s takes on a faint pastel hue, sharp and straight as the blade of a sword as it floats down her back. Her bangs are so perfectly in place Shen Qingqi is almost convinced she’s glued them to her forehead. She is striking in all the way Luo Binghe’s wives should be. The kind of girl you see in the street and dream about for the rest of your life, or so Airplane says. Shen Qingqiu wouldn’t know. His dreams have always been filled with Binghe.
“It is just as you said, cousin. They did come here.” Xin Mo in hand, Song Yuehua has the walk of a supermodel as she approaches Shen Qingqiu. She bows to him, which is ten times more the degree of courtesy demons usually give him. “Immortal Master Shen Qingqiu. I have heard much about you. It is with great shame that we are not able to meet under better circumstances. I am Princess Song Yuehua, ruler of the west.”
No, number thirty-three! You’re supposed to be back in the demon realm after your father retrieved you from the Endless Abyss, pining after Luo Binghe who–guess what!–is in love with him. So you have no use here. Thanks for stopping by! Tell the other wannabe harem wives he said hi! Be sure to leave Xin Mo on your way out!
“It is my cousin’s assumption that you are seeking a way out of the Endless Abyss.” Song Yuehua handles Xin Mo with terrifying ease, ripping through the air around them to open a portal to the human realm. To Cang Qiong. Shen Qingqiu can see the twelve peaks, the shining rainbow bridges between them. The portal closes before he can get a step closer. Song Yuehua regards him coldly, her eyes so like those of He Xun’s that he’s starting to question if they’re cousins or siblings. “I may be able to help you with that, so long as you and Luo Binghe comply.”
She insists they play nice after knocking Binghe off a cliffside? Yeah right!
“You have no business using that sword,” Shen Qingqiu warns her, which is more than she deserves. Luo Binghe could hardly handle its power as the protagonist with an army of women to help papapa away all the dark thoughts. In the hands of a wife, albeit a strong one, Xin Mo will be nothing short of destructive. She’s going to get herself killed.
If not by Xin Mo, then surely by Binghe.
Below, Luo Binghe stops his fall by jamming Chanzui through the jagged mountainside, his sword arm dislocating with a snap as it bears his weight and the added momentum of his hundred yard descent. He doesn’t have time to think. He swings his legs and launches himself back up the summit, ready for round two.
Song Yuehua is ready too. He Xun throws himself and Shen Qingqiu behind the massive sword stone for cover as the two swords clash once more. As if Shen Qingqiu is going to sit and hide while Luo Binghe fights for life against his own golden finger! He lodges his elbow firmly in He Xun’s stomach, just where his black armor falls short, and lifts his fist from the same arm to connect with He Xun’s face as he falls forward. Two hits like that isn’t much against a demon, but it’s enough for Shen Qingqiu to escape He’s Xun’s clutches, scrambling after Luo Binghe who’s still locked in a fearsome battle with Song Yuehua. It’s not looking good. Already, Song Yuehua has drawn blood. A cut from Xin Mo takes longer to heal. Luo Binghe sports red on his face, legs, and shoulder, but he’s nowhere near giving up. Not when Shen Qingqiu’s safety in on the line.
Another hit lands. This time it scores across Luo Binghe’s chest. Shen Qingqiu swears the pain is mirrored onto him, his heart lurching as he calls Xiu Ya to his grip.
“A-Qiu, don’t!” Xiao Huo is the only thing stopping Shen Qingqiu from jumping in and taking the next blow for Binghe. This one forces him to drop to one knee, and Shen Qingqiu can only watch, Xiao Huo holding him back, as Song Yuehua brings Xin Mo down on Luo Binghe’s head. Chanzui just barely manages to stop the fatal strike. In doing so, the beautiful sword shatters, and the qi of countless abyss beasts bursts free from the blade. It knocks both Luo Binghe and Song Yuehua away, shrouding the mountain in a mist of black.
Xiao Huo protects Shen Qingqiu as best he can, his back a shield against the onslaught of yi energy, but it’s too much for Shen Qingqiu’s human body. Like hypnosis, someone snaps and he goes limp in Xiao Huo’s arms. All he can think about beyond Xin Mo, Song Yuehua, and He Xun, is how he didn’t get to tell Binghe that he loved him too.
Xin Mo carves through the disruptive cloud of qi, dispelling it with one swipe. Luo Binghe coughs violently, Chanzui lying in pieces at his feet. He pushes forward anyways. He’ll use his fists. His legs. He’ll fight until there’s nothing left of him. He won’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t.
Xiao Huo is distraught, shaking an unconscious Shen Qingqiu and completely unable to defend himself when Song Yuehua and He Xun come in fast for an attack. They have Shen Qingqiu thrown lifelessly over He Xun’s shoulder, his boot pressed down on Xiao Huo’s neck with Xin Mo pointing at his heart, before Luo Binghe can take two staggering steps in their direction.
He feels himself falling into a familiar sense of panic, reduced to that same simpering child who could do nothing to help his Shizun.
He Xun pats an inch too high on the back of Shen Qingqiu’s upper thigh, hoisting him more comfortably on his shoulder. Luo Binghe sees red. Or that just might be his eyes glowing in tandem with his huadian as it grows across his forehead, dipping down his cheekbones and jaw. He can’t move. He can’t think, but he hears it when Song Yuehua slashes open a portal, shadows licking at her feet as she and He Xun step through.
“Come to the western palace to negotiate for your mate’s life,” she calls and the portal seals, leaving no one on Heaven’s Summit to hear Luo Binghe’s screams.
Notes:
You know what's better than Bingqiu getting together?? Bingqiu almost getting together and then being forced apart.
Hope you enjoyed the fluff this chapter because that's the last you're gonna see of it for awhile LOL
So yeah, that's why I kept bringing up wife number 33. heyyy girl, welcome to the plot!! So happy to finally be writing you <3
Can anyone guess what's going on with SQQ???? Being in the abyss for so long, eating demon food, growing long nails....hmmmmm I wonder....
AHH I'm so excited to start writing what's next. Shit is going to hit the fan and I for one can't wait >:)
Thank you so much for reading!!! All your kudos, comments, and support mean the world to me <3 I am now going to take a fat nap. Goodnight besties.
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