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  1. Rec 77

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    Summary

    Harry’s trial before fifth year doesn’t go as expected. Sure, he isn’t technically expelled, but neither is he allowed to keep his wand or return to Hogwarts. Knowing exactly what Dumbledore’s idea of “keeping Harry safe” entails and refusing to go back to Privet Drive, he takes the first chance he can to enact his genius plan: get money, get Sirius, and get out. To where? Well, he doesn’t get that far.

    After visiting Gringotts and learning some unexpected things, he’s back to square one, with no idea what to do now.

    The Terror Twins' ingenious plan? Go to Hogwarts anyway! After all, it’s their final year—no one is going to question if there are suddenly three of them.

    OR

    Harry gets to be a Weasley Twin for the year. Turns out, Hogwarts looks a lot different when you aren’t ‘Harry Potter.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,711
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    150
    Bookmarks:
    77
    Hits:
    2,956

    06 May 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    CH 12

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s the first day after Winter break with snow quietly falling outside the large, gothic windows, though you can hardly get anyone to go out into the cold, especially this early in the morning. For the past week, Harry had been trying to scrape together all his supposed bravery that let him get into Gryffindor, and the current peaceful atmosphere of the mid-breakfast Great Hall really isn’t helping his nerves right now.
    “Hey, Hermione?” he casually asks over the buttered toast on his plate he hadn’t touched since Ron put it there. His hands are cold and wet and shaking and he hates it. “Do you think I have any living relatives outside the Dursleys?”
    ***

    Or: what if the Golden Trio decided that fuck it, they are getting Harry out of the Dursleys? Which of course means that they need a way to do that, which results in an impromptu break-in into the Restricted Section, some questionable decisions, and… Accidental Parent Acquisition.
    Because I’m a sucker for Parent Tom Riddle, apparently.
    ***

    HP doesn’t belong to me and I don’t own any of the canon characters or accidental quotes from the book.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    314,647
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Comments:
    2,641
    Kudos:
    4,671
    Bookmarks:
    1,641
    Hits:
    246,818

    06 May 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Everything A Decent Death Eater Needs To Know About Britain's Most Belovedly Feared Dark-Lord-Who-Definitely-Isn't-Back
    as reported to you by Harry J. Potter, the Boy-Who-Knows

    Harry needs a hobby. Luna offers to show him the ropes in investigative journalism. — In other words: Luna Lovegood is Luna Lovegood, Harry is so done with the Wizarding World, Ron is along for the ride, and Hermione really doesn't have time to stop Harry from becoming a Dark Lord.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,807
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    876
    Kudos:
    6,361
    Bookmarks:
    2,486
    Hits:
    87,033

    04 May 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    CH 9

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    A story featuring Harrymort, in which a wrongly delivered letter turns into an epistolary exchange and morality is questioned.

    OR Hedwig is a little confused about a certain letter and delivers it to the wrong address.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,798
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Collections:
    5
    Comments:
    407
    Kudos:
    1,569
    Bookmarks:
    349
    Hits:
    53,596

    01 May 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    'Tom was bored. It was the start of his Third Year and he was desperate for something, anything to happen.'

    Tom may come to regret ever thinking that when the arrival of an adorable yet sociopathic first year Hufflepuff threatens to derail all his future plans before he even makes them. This is the story of how Harry Potter exasperated the Dark Lord into not committing genocide.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,533
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    454
    Kudos:
    3,872
    Bookmarks:
    1,121
    Hits:
    110,838

    30 Apr 2026

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