Work Text:
Another failed date.
"Hey, Shirahama."
Sprawled across the couch is a second year with white hair and shaky eyes, looking at the ceiling. His arm lays across his face, blocking about half his vision.
His eyes move slowly to the side from under the limb, acknowledging his friend who interrupted his time of great distress after a shitty weekend.
It's after school already, so he can show his frustration freely in the workshop for the woodworking club, now empy since the upperclassmenhave already gone home for today. It's just his lonesome self and.. well, Niibashi, but until a few seconds ago it was just him.
"Are you sulking again?"
The disapproving tone made Shirahama huff in displeasure, pursing his lips in annoyance. Feelings of nausea and uncertainty, a mix of anxiety and relief at seeing his friend swirl in his stomach.
"Yes."
He doesn't bother to deny it, since Niibashi sees him like this about every three business days anyway. "She just used me as a rebound... and left right after her ex texted her."
It honestly just feels like a joke is being played on him somehow. Like he's a part of some comedy show, masquerading as a romantic slice of life. If a god exists, they would probably be laughing at him so hard they'd start having a coughing fit.
The poke at his arm grabs his attention, shifting his focus back on Niibashi.
"Geez, I told you not to even try with her." It's honestly scary how many times Niibashi predicted his dates going wrong the second he realized who it was supposed to be.
Just a name and the shorter would snap to attention, spilling gossip like it was common knowledge. Shirahama never knew the gossip floating around was so advanced that respecting privacy was ignored in favor of some juicy rumours being proven true.
"She's been using like half the school as rebounds while her long distance boyfriend is being a piece of shit. Were you even listening to me when I told you that?
He hadn't, given that Niibashi had mascara and a half up-do that day. Shirahama had barely managed to catch the explanation of Niibashi's gossip friends being the cause of the look that day, something about humouring their whims, ears ringing and head empty because of how pretty Niibashi was.
Now, he can see him looking over his perfectly manicured nails, having set down his bag next to the shitty couch Shirahama is laying on, and sitting down next to his legs.
Like this, Shirahama can admire the beauty that is Niibashi like he'd done a hundered times by now.
(He realised there was something different about him when he was younger. Talking with his friends and parents, they told him his partner would be a girl. Older men giving him advice he now knows was quite... well, digusting, and other boys his age always complaining about girls being too difficult to deal with despite teasing them to get their attention.
The one time he asked his parents why he couldn't like a boy that way, he got shot down with all kinds of insults towards "those people".
Feeling out of place has always been a part of his life, like he was some alien trying to fit in. Not just because of his attraction to boys, but his albinism as well. Trying to be popular, trying to date only girls, trying to be someone "normal". His parents never suspected anything and neither did the popular classmates he talked to.
But Shirahama knew he was different.
Until he met Tashiro in middle school, he felt too out of place. Attracted to the same gender and having no one to share it with safely, having white hair naturally, shaking eyes and being called creepy for it all.
It got better with his best friend and only continued when he met Miyano and Kuresawa, Kagiura and eventually Niibashi.
He no longer gets teased for his unnatural hair and eye color. Being into the same gender only or multiple or even having no idea what you are, are all things that are accepted. Hell, his friends even accept his clinginess, something guys he knew before would call weird.)
"Seriously, if you're that desparate then listen to what I tell you and get someone who is actually ready for a new relationship."
He sits up, barely processing Niibashis monologue that's been going on during him spacing out.
The tone is slightly petulant, like a rich boy not getting what he wants, and offended. Maybe, if Shirahama feels delusional enough, he'd say jealous.
Yeah, he's imagining that. Wishful thinking.
The tiny crush he had on Miyano before faded over time. Shirahama obviously hid it, not wanting to get inbetween his classmate and his boyfriend. Even if he'd expressed his crush, it would've gone nowhere, obviously. Sasaki-senpai and Miyano are so lovey-dovey it makes him sick.
It was a month of stupid stuttering and some dumb actions, but he got through it without anyone mentioning anything.
Also, he met Niibashi in that time.
The shorter student was probably the cutest person to ever exist. The first time Shirahama saw him, he couldn't utter a sentance.
Not just because he was cornered at the time, but because of his looks. And the absolutely amazing line he retorted with to the homophobic bullies that had been taunting Shirahama for some time. He is taller and stronger than them, but he isn't exactly a fighter and their insults... well, they definitely hit his biggest insecurities.
Even when he got his finger broken as a result of his clumsy attempt of protecting the boy he'd just met from a punch that would have definitely given him a concussion, Shirahama was happy. Satisfied.
He felt he achieved something with that action, even though he got scolded by everyone that knows him, even Niibashi himself.
Said person is infront of him, ranting about how many rumours about any and every student there are, that he knows pretty much everything because the gossiping girls have criteria for whom they share their knowledge with and Niibashi just so happens to tick all the boxes.
The usual nervous tremmor in Shirahamas hands is gone. He's tired, chasing affection from people who won't give it to him.
He won't lie and say it's accidental. Niibashi knows that too, given that he's said it to Shirahamas face before, and only tried harder to get him to go on a date with someone at least decent since then. Shirahama can't help but try and get with people that will only hurt him, though he isn't sure why that is.
Maybe so he feels like he earned their affection when he finally gets it?
"...this girl who- huh?"
Who knows. Hazy, tired and lonely, he can't help but stretch his hand to Niibashis sleeve and hold it between his fingers, tugging on it.
"...what is it?"
This has happened before. Heartbroken and sad, lonely Shirahama, stretching out his hand and seeking affection from his prickly, sarcastic and difficult to please friend, who's kind despite his brutally honest words.
"Can I hug you?"
The silence streches and Shirahama feels his palms start to sweat as Niibashi takes his time scrutinizing his actions.
He's someone who doesn't ever give himself over willingly, he doesn't take pity on his friends just because they look pathetic, unlike some others they know.
Hirano-senpai simply likes Kagiura too much and folds at every request even if he'd deny it.
Sasaki-senpai will do anything Miyano asks of, even holding back to fit Miyano's pace.
Hanzawa-senpai freezes each time Tashiro tries anything, before relaxing and getting used to it.
Shirahama isn't like that. He's lonely, he's afraid Niibashi won't like how clingy he can be. This crush that has been forming is simply overwhelming and he can't help but restrain himself from doing anything too much when he's sure Niibashi is anything but interested.
What if they end up like all of Shirahamas previous experiences?
Niibashi doesn't even like him like that.
What if he messes up and Niibashi tells him he's disgusting?
What if their friendship gets ruined?
"Stop overthinking. You can."
Nearly missing it, Shirahama sighs a quiet breath of relief when he gets permission. "...thanks."
"Yeah, yea- HEY-!"
It happens in a flash, with Shirahama going from laying next to Niibashi, sitting up, to flopping himself on the much smaller boy and making them both fall back onto the couch, with Shirahama laying across Niibashi.
Their torsos are pressed flush against each other, with Niibashis legs from his knees down hanging off the couch and pressed together, while one of Shirahamas legs is pressed against the couch cushions, and the other is on the other side of Niibashis legs and awkwardly hanging off.
His hands are next to and around the shorters neck and shoulders, with Shirahamas head next to his neck.
Nuzzling into Niibashi, he inhales the light perfume that's become familiar over their friendship.
A whiff here, a light wind blowing the scent right into his lungs there. He's come to associate it with comfort after a long day or after a class when he'd hug Niibashi from behind.
"You big oaf, are you trying to suffocate me!?" The hands lightly hitting his shoulders stopped, now bunching up the fabric of his shirt by clinging to Shirahamas back. "Seriously, we have a big height difference! And you play basketball! You're heavy as hell!"
Even when he acts this clingy, Niibashi doesn't tell him to seriously back off.
Heads so close, he feels heat radiating off Niibashis face. He wants to think it's because the other is blushing, but it's again just his own wishful thinking, he's sure.
Niibashi is cute, smart and talented. He deserves someone so much better, someone who isn't so touchstarved they'd stop being proper with their crush, showing their neediness.
Shirahamas hands clasp tighter around Niibashi.
Having been so deprived of touch, just a bit of contact hurts. Even when he gets hugged, his first instinct is to flinch away, especially if the other person reached out first.
Maybe if he wasn't so weird about it, his dates would go better. No one shares his desire for physical contact, especially not on a first date.
He can't help wanting more after the first touch. He can't stop touching, he can't stop staying close and staying like that. For hours, he wants to get used to the pleasant warmth that comes after the burning hot zap of the first contact.
The comfort, the safety of another laying still and being at peace with it. Even breathing and quiet conversations, maybe just staying quiet and playing with the others hair. Kissing and napping, enjoying life in a way the busy and chaotic day doesn't allow.
"You're squeezing me..." Is the quiet response he gets for tightening his arms, though there's no resistance. Only a small huff and then hands scratching quietly at his back through his shirt.
The sun is peeking through the windows, softly shining down on them and warming Shirahama up from the cold of being alone.
He wishes he wasn't wearing his top, just so he could feel the shorters pretty nails scratching him directly.
They stay like that for what feels like hours, Niibashi crading through his hair, scratching lightly behind his ears and muttering some stuff about Shirahama being like a big dog that still thinks it's a small puppy, not that Shirahama is paying much attention.
His nose is slowly and gently dragging against Niibashis neck. The scent is just as pronounced as when he tackled Niibashi, even though he's been breathing it in for the past however long. Pressing closer, he misses the way Niibashis breath hitches.
He can't help himself. "You're so comfy..."
He feels lazy, finally sort of relaxed after his abhorrently lonely weekend and parents remarks, even the bullies trying to get to him again last friday dissapears into the back of his mind.
"You're way too..."
"..hm?"
"...nothing."
Yes, he's indulging himself way too much.
Even the other times he's hugged Niibashi, he kept himself in check. He always let go after five minutes, only allowing himself the bare minimum to satiate his hunger for physical touch.
Don't do it in front of people, hide it all, don't let others know you crave someone elses touch, that you crave a gender not opposite to yours. How you desire someone that's the same as you, someone that can satisfy the hole a lack of love left in your heart, soothe the ache years of loneliness left behind.
He's so tired of hiding.
Tired of hiding that he likes someone like him, that he craves physical touch, that he wants hugs and kisses and to be clingy, to stick to someone and be allowed that with no need to prove himself worthy.
So when Niibashi doesn't stop him himself, it takes all his strength to pull away just enough to look into Niibashis eyes, supporting himself with his legs and arms. He though he'd regret it, wondering if he should stop and apologise.
But he's glad he did.
Niibashi under him is a vision.
Between his arms is someone who is nothing short of beauty, deserving of being be engraved into walls, of having poetry written about, of having even the stingiest of critics give praise.
A blush he though he hallucinated sits on the shorters face, spread across his cheeks and nose bridge, even at the tips of his ears. Pink eyes narrow, like Niibashi hadn't thought that Shirahama would be lifting himself anytime soon, blaming him and his unexpected behaviour for Niibashi's own embarassment.
Shirahama sucks in a breath, eyes roaming the others face in appreciation. He can't believe his luck. Maybe after his whole life of struggle, this is his reward.
"What!?" Niibashi hisses, moving his face to the side, but not looking away. His hands are still bunching up Shirahamas shirt, so he can't cover the blush radiating heat off his face.
Shirahama takes his time admiring what's in front of him. The other times they'd hugged, Niibashi only got a little flustered. Just a little flush to color his face a nice pink, easily excused as a result of being warm. Those times are ones Shirahama remembers as his favorite memories with Niibashi. He's so unlike Shirahama himself.
Even embarassed, he remains confident and doesn't stutter, unlike Shirahama, who immediately forgot what he wanted to ask.
"N-nothing!"
...totaly different. And uncool.
"I-I mean. I just wanted to ask- uh- uhh..."
Yeah.
"Just spit it out!" Niibashi counters, eyebrows furrowing. The blush only makes it look cute instead of irritated though.
"Can I... do more? Is that okay?" Shirahama asks shyly, babbling the words quickly into the small space between them.
From here he can see Niibashes eyelashes, how long they are, batting in surprise as he blinks at the unexpected question. Shirahama can see the shorters pretty, narrowed eyes and cute face, his hair lightly disheveled from their cuddling.
And he can see how his lips glisten from that lipbalm he always puts on.
"...what's more?" Niibashi thankfully doesn't sound weirded out.
The mood is rather mellow and Shirahama has rarely felt so comfortable talking with anyone during moments like these, the other people he's gotten close enough to (physically) to do this with clearly trying to accomplish their own goals without considering him first.
Even with the anxiety trying to make itself known.
"More things..."
Shirahama can't help his selfish desires. He leans down, placing a light kiss, which is honestly more of a brush of his lips, to Niibashis cheek, savouring the way heat transfers between the two of them in that short moment.
"...like this."
Niibashi doesn't say anything, just staring surprised at Shirohamas face when comes back up, like he didn't expect Shirahama to be brave enough to do it.
The expression quickly dissapears when he narrows his eyes again, mulling Shirohamas intentions over, scrutnizing the one above him.
Grey eyes blink slowly. Shirahama hopes Niibashi won't just straight up ask if he has a crush on him. He knows he's making it obvious, has been for like half a year, lonely and clingy, trying to get closer despite them not dating, trying to touch Niibashi in a way only lovers would...
He feels awful.
"...okay."
His eyes snap to Niibashis eyes from wandering all over, probably the fastest thing he's done since starting his sulking session.
"But you have to explain why in.... within the next week."
Shirahama wonders when Niibashi had gone so soft.
Do other friends also get this privilige of not needing to explain themselves immediately? Like Kagiura? Or is it just him?
Does he actually realise Shirahama likes him like that? Is it a perk Shirohama gets because he has a pathetic crush on him and Niibashi figured it out?
Maybe he's ruined what they have already.
The feeling of his stomach trying to flip itself over, make him run away and take everything back tugs at him like a vice. All the anxiety he'd forgotten is trying to rear it's ugly head, just like the guilt already settled in his stomach.
Is Niibashi just pitying him and giving him a chance to make amends?
He shouldn't have relaxed. He should've listened to all those voices telling him his bad traits and feelings wouldn't be recieved well. That Niibashi would push him away, that he's weird for falling for the shorter-
"Stop it." Those thoughts come to a halt when Niibashi forces him back to the present woth a firm tone and a hard pull to his hair.
He doesn't say anything more.
If Niibashi is giving him a week... he's giving him a chance.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Whether it's to stop his own crush on the shorter or to convince Niibashi that he'd make a good boyfriend...
He doesn't know.
He can ask. Niibashi will tell him. He's honest to a fault.
It's probably the former.
"Should I not conti- Ack-!"
A tug and Shirahama gets lowered back into Niibashis neck, practically falling from the unexpected gesture, following the hands pressing against his back.
Niibashi nearly gets his breath knocked out of his lungs, because as he said earlier, Shirahama is bigger. Having a guy that does basketball regularly and is 20 centimeters taller fall on him from any height isn't ideal.
The physical contact calms Shirahama down immediately and the drowsy, comforting warmth spreads again, pushing back the icy prickle of anxiety, though the sticky guilt simmers.
He relaxes into the slightly sweet perfume, appreciating the perfectly manicured nails in his hair scratching away, ignoring the sticky tar-like guilt bubbling away.
It'll be fine. Niibashi hasn't pushed him away yet.
He can fix this. Whatever it is Niibashi wants, he can do it.
His lonely, brittle heart slowly starts mending itself, the cracks getting smaller with each minute that passes.
He can break it apart again if Niibashi asks him to.
This crush... might've developed into something else while he wasn't paying attention.
It feels so nice. He can't contain the adoration that spreads in his chest. It's so overwhelming he shoves his face into the crook of Niibashis neck again somewhat roughly, making Niibashi make a noise of confused alarm at the sudden action.
Being back where he was before, he breathes in and out like he'd been suffocating until now. Ignoring the feeling of guilt and thoughts that he's being selfish gets easier, and he goes back to doing what he asked permission for.
His lips finally press against the soft skin of Niibashis neck, like he'd wanted all those times he'd seen the shorter with one button undone on his shirt, when he'd imagined Niibashi with hickeys in place of the classmates that were showing them off, boasting about the love they recieved from their partners.
Shirahama doesn't feel possesive. He doesn't think being jealous is a good thing, even if Niibashi telling him about the crushes he had made him feel a stab of it.
He never showed it and there's enough people on the internet to tell him that possesivness is only sexy in fiction. He doesn't think giving hickeys is a show of possesivness.
To him, it's a visible reminder of closeness.
He kisses Niibashis neck, from where the frantic pulse is strongest to the section covered with the schools uniform.
Hickeys are a private gesture of love.
He's never given a hickey, but he's watched enough to know how. Practicing on his hand was embarassing as hell, but he was desparate at the time...
...and it worked well enough as teaching material.
The cute sighs and unintentional noises Niibashi makes spurr him on, trying out what he'd only seen on a screen or done to himself.
A blush slowly spreads across his face just imagining those nights.
The hands fisting his shirt tighten when he drags his teeth against the smooth skin under them, rucking the material upwards and untucking it unconsiously as a result. Niibashi tilts his head to the side, dazed, giving Shirahama more space to continue.
The shorter trembles as he takes his time, kissing up down the column of his neck. The more he does, the more Niibashi melts into the couch, quiet sounds trying to escape before he swallows them back.
When he licks, just a bit, Niibashi gasps, letting out an uneven and quiet whine he can only be described as absolutely adorable and somewhat demanding, though that's likely just Shirahama's desires coming through.
One of his hands shifts from around Niibashi's head to slide downwards to his waist, squeezing as his hands wrap around it. When the shorter arches his back Shirahama slides his hand underneath, supporting Niibashi and pulling him closer to himself.
Their bodies press together and both of them sigh at the proximity. Shirahama can't help but notice how big their size difference is.
His hand could comfortably rest against Niibashi's middrift, forearm wrapping tightly around the waist. It's addicting, the way Shirahama thinks of them like a puzzle finally coming together.
Niibashi gasps out his breaths, trembling at the new experience and Shirahama isn't any better. They're not doing anything that indecent and yet, because it's something new, it hits ten times harder.
He can feel shorter legs shifting underneath him, coming dangerously close to an area he'd rather not worry about for now. He drags Niibashi higher up on the couch with just the hand around his waist, and because of his focus, misses the way Niibashi bites back a moan at the display.
Shirahama doesn't spare any more time, getting back to the neck waiting for him. It's lightly glistening and has very light imprints of teeth. Along with that, he can feel Niibashi swallowing hard and reacting to his breath fanning over soft skin.
His hips stutter in the air from getting himself worked up, and the warmth only spreads further.
He can't get enough.
Niibashi squirming under him almost feels ticklish in the way it makes Shirahama smile.
Placing kisses around the collarbone, he uses the hand still near Niibashis head to tug the fabric of the others uniform down a little more, placing multiple kisses and light bites there, before latching onto a softer spot, one that'll be well hidden after.
The noises his actions drag out of Niibashi isn't quite a moan, even though it gets quite close. It's more arousing than anything he's ever heard. No noise could compare to it.
He knows he stays latched on only for a little while, just to make the mark visible and pronounced but not dark, but it feels like a century with the way Niibashi pulls his hair, squirming.
The sounds make him want to do even more selfish and improper things.
Niibashis legs are trapped between Shirahamas, so every movement makes their thighs brush. The hand in his hair feels amazing, pushing and pulling on his hair like Niibashi needs to ground himself.
The moment passes too quickly for his liking, but Shirahama lets go after Niibashi harshly rakes his hand down his neck and hisses into his ear.
"Stop, before I get sued for public indecency Shirahama... ah-!""
He presses one last kiss to the lovely hickey he can clearly see forming, just to indulge himself and hear the quickly stopped but nonetheless audible moan Niibashi fails to hold in.
It's just one hickey.
Just a single moment, a single action from an array he wants to do, maybe the thousands he's dreamt about doing to satisfy his greed.
But it feels so good to feed this selfish part of himself.
He wasn't even the one recieving, yet the action had fulfilled him just as much.
To hear his partner, have Niibashi sigh and hum in his ear in satisfaction, let him relax and enjoy himself because of what Shirohama had been doing to him.
It feels incredible.
He gets even more satisfaction when he lifts himself again to look at Niibashi. If he'd thought that he was beautiful before, now Shirahama can only describe him as sinfully gorgeous.
"God, you're like a dog, slobbering all over me..." Niibashi whispers, voice low from embarassment.
Despite the harsh words, it adds to his charm. His blush extends down his neck and softens the unserious, or so Shirahama hopes, glare aimed at him.
His usual uniform is crumpled because of Shirahama, still pulled down to the side by a hand to expose the junction of his neck and shoulder. His neck is visibly shiny and red in some spots, lightly visible imprints from Shirahama's teeth remaining.
His hair is also messy and fanning out on the couch creating a halo, usual braid now loose with a few hairs sticking out from where Shirahama was unconsiously messing with it the entire time.
His heart hurts from holding himself back. His face feels like it's on fire and is a constant reminder.
Screw one week to explain himself. He wouldn't last a day.
"I don't need a week. I like you."
Shirahama looks at Niibashi, whose expression changes from flustered, to processing, to one of pure surprise, while trying to fight off the severe blush still present from what they'd just done.
"I like you a lot."
The sight in front of him, what happened mere seconds ago, and what he wants. He wants so much.
"I've liked you for a while, I think. Maybe a couple months."
He thought it was just a crush, something not so prominent. But it's developed into something unbearable in the best way. He can't keep quiet for so long after coming to the realisation, especially not after realising his like might be turning into love.
He isn't Kagiura or Sasaki.
He'd rather get rejected immediately than wait. He isn't able to wait and control himself when someone may be interested in him, while also interacting with them like everything is normal.
It'd be too much. He doesn't want to subject someone he likes to his selfishness or inevitable pushiness.
He face crumples and he looks away from Niibashi.
"Please reject me quickly."
The thought that it might be requited doesn't cross his mind.
"I c-can be a good friend. I promise. Reject me and I'll stop feeling... like this."
He hates this. His heart feels like it's splitting apart.
But he knows if he doesn't ask to do it now, he'll be insufferable and disgusting, trying to win the heart of someone who will never be interested.
His eyes get cloudy and his voice turns nasaly, the tears of hurt gathering up and falling slowly.
He's so tired. But he can do this. It's just another heartbreak.
(It's not.)
He can deal with it.
(He can't.)
"J-Just reject me."
He feels very pathetic.
"...no."
"Plea- wh-huh?"
"I said no."
Shirahama clutches to Niibashi.
"You don't like me. You won't ever like me. Just reject me, please. I-I won't be able to-"
"Who said I don't like you?"
Shirahama can only freeze.
Is he hallucinating? Maybe he's finally become desparate enough to just make up a reality and delude himself into thinking Niibashi might like him back?
The force on his shoulders tries to push him back up, but he doesn't move. He doesn't want to face Niibashi in such a miserable state.
"Look me in the eyes damnit, Shirahama."
He clings tighter. Niibashi won't give up unless he finds a better solution, but maybe Shirahama learned a thing or two about stubbornness from the very same boy this past year.
"N-no way."
"Ugh, you're impossible." The directness hits him so hard it feels like he got stabbed.
He likes Niibashi being honest, it's helped him a lot. He can always trust Niibashi to point out his stupidity or compliment him geniunely. There's never been an issue and logically he knows it's probably better to get rejected directly and quickly to get it over with but...
"Please reject me a bit more gently..."
He can imagine the silence that follows is only because Niibashi is momentarily too stunned to speak.
"Oh, you're making a bunch of ridiculous requests, aren't you."
Niibashi tugs again at Shirahamas uniform, but just as before, it gets him nowhere.
He knows that Niibashi hasn't given up, but it takes him by surprise anyway when small hands find their way underneath his uniforms shirt that got rucked up a while ago. The coldness is so different from his warm torso that he quite literaly jolts awake from the sleepiness and the feelings clouding his mind.
It also makes him try and get away from the cold, pushing himself up and out of it's reach.
"There you go." Niibashi says, caged between Shirahamas straightened arms and quite comfortable.
Shirahama can't move, not when the first thing Niibashi does is to grab his face between pretty hands, with his pinkies on Shirahamas neck as levarage to hold him there so he can't escape.
"Before you start your whole thing, how about you let me get a few words in?"
The realisation that he hasn't allowed Niibashi to speak, almost at all during his panic, smacks Shirahama in the face.
"Don't start getting apologetic on me right now. First, take some deep breaths."
Shirahama immediatelly obeys, feeling too lightheaded to argue. He hadn't even noticed he hadn't been breathing properly from freaking out.
The second his inhales and exhales are stable, lungs no longer feeling like they'd been singed, does Niibashi continue.
"Okay, first of all, I am not going to reject you."
Shirahama isn't sure if Niibashi has immediately accomodated his desire for physical contact, but the hands scratching behind his ears and legs pressing against his own keep him mellow, even through the nerveracking conversation.
Physical touch really is the best.
"W-why?"
"Wha'd'ya mean why!?" Is what he gets in response, now getting his ears tugged.
"Ow, ow, ow-"
"Listen here you big idiot. I like you."
The world stops on it's axis the second Shirahama hears the words. It's a delicate balance, one carefully maintained by him, weighing his options, trying to use the three seconds he has to process all the possibilities of it not being the same like and his like.
"Romantically, sexually, whatever. I like like you."
Whatever balance there was is immediatelly destroyed.
"I've liked you for quite a bit as well, a few months."
"A-are you sure?" Shirahamas cheeks get squished, Niibashi making his annoyance obvious.
"What, you don't believe me when I'm talking about my own feelings?"
"Not at all! I just... you're so talented, creative, c-cute and beautifull, I don't think I'm.. up to par, exactly?" That just gets him another scoff, but Niibashi answers honesly, as always.
"Well I like you, so if you don't trust yourself, trust me. I like you out of everyone. And you like me back." He says matter-of-factly. "How rare is that?"
It's very rare. Shirahama would know, with all his failed attempts.
"So enjoy it. Stop looking so constipated.."
"Uhhhh...."
Shirahamas feelings feel like... something.
Happiness, excitement, the want to jump Niibashi immediately, kiss him cherish him...
... all underneath a whole bunch of self-doubt.
"I know that look."
"What look...?"
"The one where your happiness gets blocked by some ridiculous thoughts."
The hands on Shirahamas face pull him down.
Their faces come close, just centimeters apart. Their breaths hit each others skin, the air getting warmer. It feels intimate, but different to when Shirahama gave Niibashi a hickey.
It's warm, in the way Shirahama percieves relationships to be. Comforting, relaxing, but still exciting. Something new to discover everytime they get close, a new thing to treasure and remember.
"You like me, right?" Niibashi asks, staring right into his eyes. Were they any closer together, their faces would start looking weird.
"Yes.." Shirahama isn't sure where this is going.
"And you don't object to me liking you back."
Grey eyes grow wide. "Of course not!"
"So you wanna date?"
"Yes...?"
"Are you saying that just because I'm asking?"
Shirahamas face scrunches in disbelief. "No! I want to date you because I like you!"
"Then?"
The expectant look in Niibashi's eyes is making him realise he's being stupid, even if he'd never thought he'd get this far.
He could hug and cuddle Niibashi every day.
He could love another boy freely.
He could simply adore the most serious crush he's had in years, the one that developed into actual love, all because, through some miracle, that boy likes him back.
"Niibashi-"
He could probably start crying from happiness, were he not too embarassed to do that.
He flops back down onto the boy under him for the third time today, getting scolded just the same.
"You oaf-"
"Yours."
Shirahama giggles. He's Niibashi's.
"Mine? But you haven't asked me to be your boyfriend yet."
This is so silly. So cute and honest.
Wrapping around the other like a koala, he asks.
"Can I be your boyfriend? Do you want to be mine too?"
There's not even a moment of hesitation before he gets a reply.
"Yes, I do."
Overexcited, Shirahama rubs his face against Niibashi's shoulder, getting another wave of sputtered scoldings before the one saying them gives up and starts laughing along.
They tussle on the couch, giggling like idiots, full of feelings and joy.
A new relatioship that feels as fragile as a newly bloomed flower. Delicate, but precious.