Chapter Text
“Change that face, Chay! I didn’t bring you all the way here just so you could spend the whole day looking like a toad!”
Chay raised an eyebrow at Ohm.
“You brought me here? Let me remind you that I invited you.”
Ohm didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed Chay’s hand and dragged him towards the food area.
“Well, yes, you invited me, but I’m starting to wonder why. You haven’t wanted to do anything.”
Chay felt a pang of guilt. It was true. All morning he’d been following Ohm around, taking pictures of his best friend and listening to him… although, if he was honest, he didn’t remember a single word Ohm had said.
When he didn’t respond, Ohm stopped and turned to face him. Whatever he saw on Chay’s face earned Chay a look of pity.
“I know you’re going through big changes, Chay. You moved house, and it seems your brother is… quite busy lately with his new job.”
Chay couldn’t help the grimace that formed on his face. “Quite busy” didn’t even begin to explain the weight of responsibilities that had fallen on his brother’s shoulders. But he had been vague with Ohm, not only for safety reasons, but also because he didn’t know how to explain his situation honestly.
It wasn’t like he could say:
“The truth is, I didn’t move to another house, but to a damn mansion—one that belongs to the most dangerous mafia family in this country. And my brother’s new job? He’s now a leader in that family, which means he’s in danger all the time!”
Chay sighed. No, he didn’t know how to be honest and keep his best friend by his side.
Ohm put a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, it can’t all be that bad. My mom says that when there are changes in our lives, they always bring both good and bad things. Don’t focus only on the bad.”
Chay tried hard not to laugh out loud. Good things?
Oh yes—surely being part of the mafia now could be considered something good!
Sure, money wasn’t a problem anymore, but if he’d been given the choice (which no one bothered to do!), he would have chosen to be poor for the rest of his life instead of always being on guard. Instead of going to bed every night terrified—not just for his safety, but for his brother’s, too.
He would give anything not to tremble with fear every time he walked away from Porsche, thinking it might be the last time he could hug him.
He would give anything not to live in a house that reminded him daily of…
No! he screamed in his mind, shaking his head vigorously. He wasn’t going to think about him! He wasn’t going to give him a second of his time—not one!
“Eh, calm down! You’re going to break your neck, Chay! Damn, it’s okay—I won’t suggest you be positive again!”
Chay’s cheeks turned red. How was it possible that, even after four months of not seeing Kim, the musician still managed to make him act irrationally?
He clenched his fists when he realized he’d ended up thinking about Kim again. He’d decided to go out to the carnival just to clear his mind, and if he didn’t succeed, he’d stop calling himself Porchay!
He looked at Ohm, forcing a smile, and ignoring his friend’s grimace at his quick mood swings. He took Ohm’s hand and started walking again with renewed determination.
“You’re right—let’s look at everything positively!”
If his voice sounded forced and false, he blamed the heat and thirst. He refused to admit any other reason, and apparently, from his friend’s silence, Ohm thought the same.
Chay walked with determination, pretending he had a destination in mind, even though he was barely avoiding bumping into people.
“Chay… where are you…?”
The young man didn’t let Ohm finish before spotting a slightly run-down shop with very little light inside. He pointed at it.
“Let’s go in there!”
Ohm raised an eyebrow, stopping dead in his tracks.
“I thought you didn’t believe in psychics, and now you want to see one?”
Chay forced himself not to show his annoyance. Of all the shops there, he had to pick this one! But he wasn’t going to admit that he hadn’t even read the sign that now seemed impossible to ignore: “Discover your future.”
“Ehh, it’s just for fun,” he said, pulling Ohm’s hand again. Ohm just giggled before obediently following him to the entrance of the store.
“If you say so. Don’t get angry when she sees that bitter expression on your face and tells you your future is bleak.”
His friend’s voice was full of mischief, but Chay barely managed to stop himself from shuddering when he saw the woman sitting in a rocking chair just behind a small table, staring blankly into space. If she started predicting any calamity for him or his brother, he was going to get out of there as fast as his legs could carry him—he didn’t care about pretending to have fun for Ohm!
As soon as they entered, the woman pointed at the chairs in front of her, still not looking at them. Chay let out a sigh. He wanted to play dumb, but something about the store gave him the creeps. However, when he turned to look at Ohm and found him smirking, Chay forced aside his paranoia and moved forward determinedly until he sat in one of the chairs—which, unfortunately, weren’t designed to be comfortable.
Ohm sat down beside him, and the two of them were silent for a moment, staring at each other. What were they supposed to say?
Before they could figure it out, the woman stopped staring into space and fixed her gaze on Ohm.
“Don’t be shy, young man. Ask the question that’s been tormenting you these days.”
Chay almost rolled his eyes. He remembered why he never liked these places—people talking as if they really knew something about you, just to scare you with their supposed predictions.
He looked at Ohm, expecting to see his usual sneer, but what he found was completely different. Ohm was looking at the woman with suspicion, his hands clasped together.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t had any questions tormenting me.”
Chay was sure only he, who had known Ohm since childhood, would be able to detect the lie in his voice. But the woman just smiled condescendingly.
“This young woman is so unimportant to you that you’re unwilling to ask how to win her over? After all, your five surefire steps haven’t gotten you anywhere, have they?”
A gasp escaped Ohm’s lips, and the hair on the back of Chay’s neck prickled. How did she know? How did she know about the five steps Ohm always used to attract his conquests?
Chay stared at her. The woman wasn’t beautiful; if he had to guess, he’d say she never had been. Her face was too sharp, her eyes sunken, her nose crooked, and her lips so thin and pale they were almost invisible against her skin. And yet, there was something about her that mesmerized him.
He forced himself to tear his eyes away and looked at his friend, who seemed more lost and confused than Chay had ever seen him. Before he could think of how to help, Ohm spoke.
“Do you really know how I can win her over?”
The woman didn’t smile, but the corners of her mouth lifted slightly.
“You could say I can guide you. Although I warn you, in the end, it will be of no use to you.”
Chay frowned at the dismay on Ohm’s face, and his tongue finally broke free.
“Don’t pay attention to her, Ohm. If you really like that girl—whoever she is—just talk to her and get close to her. This woman has no right to tell you if you can succeed or not!”
He put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and directed a challenging gaze at the psychic, hoping she would be annoyed by his disrespect. But instead, she looked at him carefully—and if he wasn’t mistaken, some surprise flickered in her eyes.
Chay straightened up, preparing for the scolding he expected. He was more than used to it—especially in recent months, when his brother had scolded him more than in his entire life.
“Chay, don’t be immature. You need bodyguards.”
“Chay, you can’t talk to Kinn like that—be respectful.”
“Chay, you can’t run away. You have to tell me where you’re going!”
“Chay, why won’t you cooperate with me? I’m just trying to take care of you!”
“Chay…”
Each of those scoldings turned into long, hurtful arguments that always ended with him crying in his room after yelling at Porsche that he wasn’t a child to be manipulated or lied to.
But that wasn’t going to happen here. He didn’t care about this woman’s feelings. There was nothing she could say that would make him feel worse.
He was sure of it.
“Oh, I didn’t say he couldn’t win her over. I said it wouldn’t be of any use in the end. You really need to stop the habit of just listening to something and jumping to conclusions, Porchay. If you paid more attention to the words other people use, you wouldn’t be so heartbroken.”
Chay jumped out of his chair like a spring, his hands shaking slightly and his heart racing.
What did that mean? How did she know his heart was broken? How could she possibly know…?
“Chay… are you okay?” Ohm asked, his voice full of concern. When Chay looked at him, there was no hint of his earlier amusement—just worry.
Seeing his friend’s face helped him come back to his senses. Whoever this woman was, she had no right to talk about his heart.
He had come there to forget all that, and he wasn’t going to let a psychic ruin his day. He took a deep breath and turned back to the woman.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but my friend and I are leaving now. We don’t have time to waste on charlatans.”
Then his mind decided to remind him that the woman had called him by name—when he had never given it to her.
Chay told himself to shut up; this wasn’t the time for personal arguments.
Before Ohm could stand, the woman spoke again.
“Running away from your pain and problems won’t give you the answers you’re looking for, Porchay. Whether you like it or not, you’re in his world now, and you’ll see him very soon. What are you going to do—hate him blindly for the rest of your life?”
Chay stood frozen, unable to believe what he’d just heard. He realized he’d stopped breathing only when he felt dizzy. Taking a deep breath, he almost started coughing before finally looking back at the woman, who was staring at him calmly, though her eyes shone with something that almost looked like emotion.
Ohm stood beside him, placing his hands on his back as if to steady him—truthfully, Chay felt like he might fall backward at any moment.
“Chay, what is this woman talking about? What world did you enter? Who… who did you fall in love with?”
The last question snapped him out of his shock. He wasn’t in love with anyone—not anymore!
“No… it’s nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
If he’d said that the earth was square, it would have sounded more convincing. But whether because of his desperation or the tremor in his voice, his friend simply nodded and turned to guide him out of that store.
Chay took a step towards the exit and hesitated. Most of his brain was telling him that this was crazy—that the woman didn’t know anything and was just trying to take his money.
Maybe he looked so bad that it was easy to guess he’d been hurt. And what about “seeing him again so soon”? Surely that was just a fabrication meant to upset him.
Chay nodded to himself and took another step forward. He had sworn never to let himself be humiliated like this again. And yet…
How had she known it was a “he” and not a “she”?
What had she meant by “if you paid more attention to the words people use, you wouldn’t be so heartbroken”?
How did she know he was now in Kim’s world?
Would he really see him again soon?
That last question rekindled his anger.
He didn’t want to see Kim anymore!
He had nothing more to say to the musician!
In fact, he’d even forgotten all the questions he’d once wanted to ask him—he didn’t care anymore!
So he took another step towards the exit—but the woman’s voice stopped him again.
“There’s nothing sadder than lying to ourselves, Porchay. It’s very cowardly of you to walk away from all this.”
Chay turned around before he could think about it, and in the blink of an eye he was already pointing a finger at the woman, who was still calmly watching him from her chair.
“Don’t you dare call me a coward! I wasn’t the one who lied! I wasn’t the one who walked away from him! It wasn’t me!”
“Chay!” Ohm’s shout and his hands grabbing him snapped him out of his rage. He barely realized he’d been yelling, in public, at a woman who was easily twice his age.
Chay took a deep breath and turned around to apologize—his temper had been out of control lately. But when he finally looked back at her, he had to hold on to Ohm’s hand to keep from lunging—because the woman was laughing. Laughing! As if she found the whole thing incredibly entertaining.
He opened his mouth, ready to keep shouting, but the woman spoke first.
“It’s true—he was the one who lied, and he was the one who walked away. But here you are, with a unique opportunity to finally understand him—to understand his motives. And you’d rather run away like a scared child.”
Chay clenched his fists, forcing himself not to shout again, but he didn’t even know who he was angrier with anymore—her, for thinking she had the right to judge him without knowing what had happened (although he was starting to doubt that), or himself, for the part of him that still wanted to know… to understand Kim, even after everything he had done.
“Chay… let’s just go, okay? You said yourself these are just lies—come on.”
Chay didn’t even turn to look at Ohm. Half of his brain told him his friend was right—she was just playing with him. The other half said that, even if she had the answers, Kim didn’t deserve Chay’s effort to understand him. After all, no reason could ever justify what Kim had done!
But his heart… his damned heart, which seemed to never stop suffering, forced him to speak.
“How could you help me understand someone so…” Twenty adjectives came to mind—none of them kind—but the woman seemed to understand.
With a calmer smile, she stood up, and Chay forced himself not to take a step back. He was not a coward—he would prove it!
He stood firm, thinking she would approach, but instead she turned around and walked with slow but determined steps toward one of the shelves.
Chay watched as she pulled out jar after jar, sniffing them sometimes, only to shake her head and put them back in their place as she continued searching.
Ohm squeezed his arm, whispering,
“Chay, we should get out of here… this is very strange. Who are you two talking about?”
Chay didn’t know what to say—largely because he couldn’t believe he was still there, trying to find a way to understand Kim.
He was spared from answering when the psychic finally seemed to find what she was looking for. She turned toward them, holding a small jar no bigger than the palm of her hand, filled with a purple liquid.
“Here,” she said, handing it to him. “Here are your answers.”
Chay stared at her, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
“Is this a joke?” he finally asked, but the woman didn’t flinch—she just held out her hand.
“Take just one drop before going to sleep—just one! That’s very important.”
Chay didn’t budge. After everything, this was what she gave him? She hadn’t even told him anything about his future, like she did with Ohm!
Seeing that he wouldn’t take the jar, the woman stepped forward and took his hand, forcing it open and pouring the small bottle into it. Chay was so stunned he didn’t even resist.
“Remember—just one drop. If you take more, the experience will be too intense. It could even make you sick.”
Chay stared at his hand, feeling too numb to even get angry. All the pain he had tried to forget crashed back down on him.
Apparently, on behalf of Kim, he had let himself be fooled again.
He barely heard Ohm say goodbye to the woman and drag him out of the store, guiding him away.
Chay didn’t resist. All his determination to act like he was fine and enjoy the day had vanished.
He only just came around when Ohm stopped in front of a giant trash can and tried to snatch the jar away. Like a little boy, Chay couldn’t help but refuse and clutch his fist to his chest.
“Chay, give me that.”
Ohm’s tone was authoritative, but it was softened with compassion, yet Chay refused.
“She gave it to me,” he whispered, and Ohm sighed.
“Yes, a woman we don’t know gave it to you, so you could take it! And let’s not forget the fact that she herself admitted it could make you sick! Now give it to me!”
Chay stepped back when Ohm tried to take it from him again.
“Chay!”
“I’m not going to drink it, Ohm!”
He finally exclaimed, and his best friend stopped to stare at him.
“Then why don’t you throw it away?” he asked.
Chay had no answer for that, since he didn’t understand it either. He was convinced that whatever was in the bottle wouldn’t do him any good, but… he didn’t want to let it go, he didn’t want to lose it.
“I… it’s a memory.”
He finally said, and Ohm let out a stressed chuckle.
“A memory?”
Chay nodded, and his best friend grabbed his hair in frustration.
“A memory of what, Chay?! Of the horrible day you’ve had? Of how I couldn’t even distract you? Or how I just found out that some idiot lied to you and broke your heart?!”
Chay couldn’t help but shiver a little at the last sentence, but before he could search for what to say, Ohm interrupted him.
“No, Chay, I don’t want to hear any of your excuses! I’m not stupid, you know? Do you think I haven’t noticed that there are many more changes in your life than you’ve mentioned?”
The questions made him look at Ohm in surprise. He had been very careful! He had tried not to reveal anything!
His surprise only made the other boy laugh.
“Give me some credit, Chay. You’d have to be blind not to notice how down you’ve been. I admit it. At first, I thought you were just going through that phase of wanting to look different or older, with all that dyeing hair or going to parties, when we both know you’ve never enjoyed those environments.”
Chay grimaced. He’d love to forget those days, filled with noise, dizziness, and—why not admit it?—hope… hope that maybe if he changed enough, if he looked more mature or more attractive, then…
He swallowed hard, as he closed his eyes tightly, he was already tired of crying.
“But it was precisely these expressions that you have now, that made me understand that there was much more going on. It was your lost and defeated look that told me that you were not okay… really not okay!”
Chay didn’t deny it, and when Ohm’s arm went around his shoulders, he couldn’t help but lean back a little.
“So when you asked me out for this trip,” the young man continued in a whisper, “I immediately canceled everything and came with you. I thought I could distract you, or, at best, cheer you up a little, but now… now we’re standing in front of the carnival trash, with a bottle full of a liquid that can make you sick, and you don’t want to give it to me!”
Chay couldn’t help but laugh at Ohm’s frustration, and upon hearing it, Ohm gave him a slight push.
“Idiot, stop laughing and give me that already!”
Chay just laughed again, but there was no joy in his voice, and from the look on his face, Ohm noticed it too. Finally, Chay took a deep breath and looked back at the small jar.
“I’m not going to take it, Ohm. I’m not stupid enough to believe everything anyone tells me—at least not anymore—but… I don’t want to throw it away, at least not yet.”
His voice was full of pleading, and Ohm, who had never been able to resist his puppy eyes, just let out a sigh.
“Just promise me that… you won’t use it.”
Chay didn’t even have to think before nodding. He wasn’t lying; he wasn’t planning on taking a single drop from that bottle, not one!
But… he didn’t want to let it go either.
He forced himself to carefully put it in his jacket pocket.
Ohm looked at him for a moment longer before nodding reluctantly.
“If I find out that you took one drop, just one!...”
He left the threat hanging in the air, and Chay just smiled and nodded.
“We’re not going to waste the day just because that woman enjoys lying to everyone who enters that store. You can still try to cheer me up a little!”
He said, trying to sound cheerful, and Ohm played along.
“Of course I can! You’re right… let’s just forget everything she said. Like you said yourself, it’s just fabrications.”
He didn’t sound very convinced, but Chay nodded vigorously, trying to believe it through sheer willpower.
The rest of the afternoon was an eternal dance of words, trying by all means not to talk about what had happened in that store.
Both he and Ohm had tried hard to forget the matter, but it had proved impossible, and rather awkward.
It was obvious his best friend was dying to ask him about the person who had hurt him, but if he started asking, Chay would immediately ask who the girl was that the psychic had said he couldn’t get. They knew each other well enough to know that neither of them wanted to talk about those things.
So when they said goodbye, it was with few words and forced smiles, each lost in their own world.
However, before Chay entered the car that had been sent to him from the mansion, Ohm looked meaningfully at his jacket pocket, before pointing a finger at him.
“Don’t forget your promise!” he shouted, and Chay just nodded.
That night he did not want to have dinner, and he answered all his brother’s questions in a monotonous voice.
“Yes, it was very fun.”
“Yes, I ate a lot at the carnival.”
“No, there was no problem.”
He was a little hurt by Porsche’s look of despair at not being able to communicate well with him, but he didn’t stop to think about it much.
If his brother truly wanted to regain the closeness they had had years ago, he would never have lied to him, and he wouldn’t have chosen his relationship with Kinn over Chay.
He denied with his head at such selfish thoughts, but he could not completely banish them from his mind.
Before getting into bed, he carefully took out the bottle and placed it on his nightstand, but he didn’t like the fact that it was so visible; it was too noticeable a reminder, not only of Kim, but of his own weakness in not being able to throw it away. So he decided to shove it deep in one of his closets, where he would never see it by chance. Only after this did he fall onto his bed, more exhausted than he had felt in a long time.
But sleep did not come. He continued tossing and turning from one side of the bed to the other, while his brain kept going over the conversation he had had with the psychic.
“Ugh, it’s not true… it’s not true!” he finally exclaimed, standing up and walking until he was face to face with his reflection.
“There’s no way Ohm can’t make that girl fall in love with him, whoever she is!”
He said, then raised his finger and pointed at himself in the mirror.
“There is no way that just because you don’t pay attention to the ‘words’ you’ll be heartbroken, Chay!
And you won’t be seeing Kim anytime soon, since he never comes to this house! So stop this nonsense and go to sleep already!”
Satisfied with his self-scolding, Chay nodded before obediently heading back to the bed and burying himself tightly in it.
But despite all his words of affirmation… it took him a long time to fall asleep, unable to take his eyes off the cupboard where he had kept the small bottle.