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They were screaming at each other again. Buck doesn’t really remember what sparked the argument this time, but he knows he’s getting blamed for it. He’s used to being yelled at, it’s not new to him whatsoever. People always had something to reprimand him about, and at some point, he learned to filter parts of it out. Depending on the person he’s talking to, he will only keep himself present enough to give appropriate responses when needed.
Buck and Jake have been dating for a couple of months now, and it hasn’t been the best. On the outside, they look like an incredibly stable and happy couple. In reality, they have many moments where they give each other the silent treatment and others where they are screaming until their throats are sore. Buck thinks Jake hasn’t left yet because Jake enjoys being able to get away with saying some of the shit he does. Buck hasn’t left yet because Jake is a distraction from Eddie, not a very nice one, but a distraction nonetheless.
Here is Buck’s logic: if he’s in a serious relationship, he’s going to be wishing it was Eddie he was with, and that’s not fair to the person he’s dating. If Buck stays single, he is just going to continue pining over Eddie, but with no distractions to fill his mind. Jake keeps him too busy to sit around and mope over Eddie. But it’s moments like this where he wonders if all of this trouble is really worth it. Buck can feel his head pounding as the noise of those painfully familiar shouts continuously fill his head and the tension continues to grow. At this point, he just wants to lie down and put whatever they were fighting about to rest. He can’t focus on the words being said anymore, he’s lost track of how long this has been going on. Buck is thinking about the best way to wrap up this argument so he can go to bed when he feels himself getting shoved.
He focuses in on Jake who is red in the face from screaming when he hears him shout “You’re not even fucking listening to me!” Jake charges towards Buck, fists up the collar of Buck’s shirt with both hands and slams him against the wall. Buck’s eyes widen in shock as he is caged in by Jake. In the entirety of their relationship, Buck has not once thought that Jake would put his hands on him or physically hurt him in any way. Jake is an asshole but he shows that through the way he talks and yells at Buck, not by pushing him around.
“This is why I yell at you, Evan. You are so fucking selfish that you can’t even focus on me when we are talking,” Jake says right in Buck’s face. Buck is now close enough to smell the alcohol on Jake’s breath, which allows him to break out of his shock. It’s not the first time Jake has been drunk during an argument. They always tend to last longer when he’s had a couple of drinks in him, but Buck being pushed around is a first.
The thing is that Buck will take a lot of shit before he reaches his breaking point. Deep down, there’s even a part of him that thinks that he deserves the way that Jake screams at him. But Buck is so fed up and tired that he looks Jake dead in the eye and very calmly states, “Get your hands off of me.”
“So he speaks!” Jake yells back, “Me putting my hands on you is the way to get you to pay attention? Good to know.” His grip tightens on Buck’s clothes, and he shoves him with more force into the wall as he shouts at him.
Jake is only slightly taller and more buff than Buck is, which shouldn’t make it too difficult for him to escape. Buck speaks as he begins to push Jake’s chest hard to get him away, “I said let go of me!”
Buck manages to push Jake away, but before he can fully process anything, he feels a fist slam against the left side of his face. Buck grunts and lets himself slide down to the floor with his back against the wall as black spots fill his vision while his brain registers the pain. After what he thinks is a minute or two, his vision clears, and he looks up at Jake, who is looking at him with what Buck can only describe as disappointment.
Jake lets out a heavy sigh and starts walking toward the kitchen as he begins to speak again, “I didn’t want to have to do that to you, Evan, but you are just such a difficult person. This could all have been avoided if you weren’t so selfish.”
On a different day, when he was feeling worse about himself and in a more vulnerable state, Buck would agree with him. Today is not that day.
As Jake walks towards the fridge to grab another drink, Buck picks himself off the ground, checks that his keys and phone are in his pocket, and heads straight for the door. As he opens the door and is about to walk out, he calls out to Jake.
“Hey, Jake? Go fuck yourself.”
Buck slams the door and quickly makes his way to his car. He can hear Jake trying to catch up and screaming more profanities at him, but he is so angry that he filters it all out. By the time Buck makes it into his car, Jake is already starting to slam on the windows of his locked car doors. Buck starts his car up and drives away.
*****
Buck didn’t really realize where he was going until he arrived at the location. He feels bad for showing up unannounced, especially since it’s almost midnight, but he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He can’t go back to his apartment because Jake is going to be there, ready to blow up on him. Chim doesn’t know how to keep a secret for the life of him and will immediately tell Maddie. He can’t go to Maddie with this because it would break her heart, and she would probably start to blame herself for not seeing the signs of an abusive relationship. Buck knows he wouldn’t be able to lighten her guilt, even though there weren’t signs to be seen from outside the relationship, he made sure of that. Hen and Karen are away with Denny to visit some family. Bobby and Athena are together tonight, and Buck is worried that they might flip out when they see the developing black eye while he tries to explain why he can’t go back home.
To him, Eddie was the only logical option. Eddie’s home has been a safe space for him for a long time now. It was instinct to drive here as soon as he left his apartment. Buck feels slightly better about showing up so late when he remembers that Chris is away at a sleepover– at least he won’t be dragging him into this. Buck turns off his car and walks up to the front door. Despite having a pair of keys, he decides to knock first just because it feels a bit more polite. After waiting a couple of seconds, Buck hears a pair of footsteps walk up to the door.
The door opens to Eddie in a pair of sweatpants and a light t-shirt with his hair mussed from lying down. For a split second, Buck calms down a bit as he looks at Eddie. Eddie is visibly tired, but it doesn’t seem like he was fully asleep. Buck loves seeing Eddie like this because it’s real. It’s Eddie in a vulnerable state, and he feels honored to be one of the few people Eddie is comfortable being like that around. Buck wants to hold him. He wants to give Eddie the love that he deserves. He wants to make Eddie realize just how important he is to Buck. He wants to kiss Eddie senseless and make him understand just how badly he wants to be with him.
Instead, Buck gives Eddie a stiff greeting as he remembers why he is here in the first place.
Eddie’s eyes widen as he notices the developing bruise on Buck’s face. Buck doesn’t even give him a chance to ask a question as he walks past Eddie towards the couch and starts talking, “I’m crashing on your couch for the night. Expect a delicious breakfast in the morning as an apology for showing up so late.” Buck doesn’t want to yell anymore, he did that with Jake for so long that his throat hurts. He hates talking like this to Eddie, but he just doesn’t have the energy for anything else. Buck didn’t realize how tired he was until he got somewhere that was truly safe.
Eddie just stares at him for a moment, and Buck is hoping Eddie will drop this for now and ignore his developing black eye. Obviously, Eddie doesn’t do that, but a man can dream.
“Buck, what the hell happened? And don’t try to tiptoe around the truth. You never show up unannounced unless it’s something serious.” Eddie questions Buck as he looks at him with concern and hints of underlying anger. Buck doesn’t know who that anger is directed at, but he can’t handle it being directed at him. He knows that if he lies, it’s going to make Eddie more upset, and that is the last thing he wants.
Buck lets out a breath and motions for Eddie to sit on the couch next to him. Buck steels himself as he begins to speak, “I am going to tell you what happened, but I need you to not yell or freak out. I have had enough yelling for a lifetime, and I just need a moment of peace.”
Eddie takes a seat and makes an attempt to relax for Buck’s sake. It is rare for Buck to ever give a warning for something he is about to say, but he knows that Buck means it. Eddie looks into Buck’s eyes, trying to ignore the anger he feels about the black eye Buck is developing, and says, “Whatever you need me to do, I will. I just want to help you, Evan.”
Buck notices a stark difference in the way that Eddie says his name compared to the way Jake says it. When Jake says it, it is filled with venom and hatred. It’s almost always paired with an insult of some kind. When Eddie says it, it feels like coming home. It’s soft and loving, something Buck isn’t used to. He relaxes a bit more as he realizes that Eddie is being completely honest– he truly does just want to help.
“Jake and I got into a massive argument. We were screaming at each other for so long that I lost track of time. I don’t even remember why we started fighting, not that fights were uncommon for us.” Buck takes a moment to swallow whatever saliva he had left in an attempt to comfort his sore throat. “This one was different, though. He was angrier than usual and drunk off his ass. I was so tired that I couldn’t keep paying attention. He shoved me into the wall and yelled at me some more. It caught me off guard since he’s never physically hurt me before. I told him to let go of me, but he wouldn’t listen, so I pushed him off of me, and he punched me in the face. I immediately left and came here without even thinking.”
Eddie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as he tries not to get upset in an attempt to do what Buck asked of him. Internally, Eddie is infuriated that the asshole Buck called his boyfriend had the audacity to put his hands on him and hurt him. Eddie wants to go over to Buck’s apartment and beat Jake to hell and back, but that’s not what Buck needs from him right now. He lets out the breath he was holding and opens his eyes to look at Buck.
“Although I have a million questions I want to ask, it’s probably not going to help you at all right now. There is one thing I will ask,” Eddie says as he looks at Buck, “How are you doing?”
In response to Eddie’s words, Buck deflates and relaxes bit by bit. He’s glad that Eddie is keeping his cool, even if it’s only external. He can see all the thoughts running through Eddie’s head, and he appreciates that this conversation is being put on hold.
“My head hurts, my throat hurts, and I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep,” Buck says in a voice that is softer and more vulnerable than he intended. In response, Eddie gets up and grabs him some water, an ice pack, and some painkillers. He doesn’t really give Buck a chance to do anything himself as Eddie wraps up the ice pack and gently places it on Buck’s eye. Buck moves his hand to hold the ice pack himself, gently brushing Eddie’s hand as he does so.
For a moment, they both just look at each other– neither of them can tell that the look from the other person is a look of longing and want.
Eddie is the first to snap out of it; his need to make sure Buck is okay overrides his pining. He hands Buck the painkillers, followed by the glass of water. Buck’s throat was so dry from all the yelling that he downs the glass in one go. Eddie remembers that Buck said he was going to sleep on the couch, but he wants to make sure that Buck can at least sleep comfortably after the night he’s had.
“Take my bed for the night. I’ll change out the sheets and give you a change of clothes,” Eddie says as he begins to stand.
Buck grabs his wrist with his free hand to stop him, causing Eddie to turn back around. “Eddie, I’m not kicking you out of your bed. I’ll be fine on the couch for the night,” Buck says. He looks down at what he’s wearing; he didn’t even realize that he never got a chance to change out of his street clothes since the fight started immediately when he got home. “I will take the change of clothes, though.”
“Buck, you always complain that your back hurts after sleeping on the couch. You’ve had a shitty night, I want you to sleep comfortably, you at least deserve that.”
Buck realizes that Eddie isn’t trying to have him take his bed because he doesn’t want Buck to be complaining tomorrow; he’s doing it because he wants to provide Buck comfort and because he cares. Buck doesn’t really know how to respond. He’s not used to people caring about him or his comfort. Over the past couple of months with Jake, the idea that he doesn’t deserve nice things got drilled deeper into his head than he would care to admit. He can’t let Eddie sleep on the couch because that wouldn’t be fair to him, but he can tell from the look in Eddie’s eyes that he won’t be allowed to sleep on the couch.
“How about we share the bed? It’s more than big enough for both of us,” Buck finally replies, thankful for the ice pack on his face to at least hide some of his blush. He sees Eddie freeze, and he hopes he didn’t make him uncomfortable with that idea. A large part of him is internally screaming at this idea because sharing a bed with the man he has been in love with for years is something he has thought about but never dared to put the idea out into the world. He knows this would be platonic, but it doesn’t stop him from wanting it to be more than that. Buck realizes he’s been holding on to Eddie’s wrist this whole time and reluctantly lets go. The loss of contact makes Eddie realize that he hasn’t responded.
“I mean, if you’re comfortable with it, then I don’t mind,” Eddie responds, trying to keep his voice as even as possible to not give away his own internal panicking. Sharing a bed with Buck has definitely crossed his mind in the past, but he didn’t think it would ever happen, so he always tried not to linger on the thought for too long. “I’ll go put some fresh sheets on the bed while you get changed. Sound like a plan?” There really is no need for a change of sheets, but it’s an easy escape so he can have a moment to himself.
“Yeah, that’s good with me,” Buck says with a soft smile on his face, relieved that he didn’t make Eddie uncomfortable.
Eddie wants to kiss him. He wants to make Buck forget about the shitty night he had and that asshole boyfriend of his. Truly, the only thing stopping him is his own fear of ruining what he and Buck already have. He gives him a small nod and walks to his room. He quickly returns with a pair of oversized sweatpants and a t-shirt and hands them off to Buck. “You can join me in my room when you’re ready.”
Eddie walks off to his room, and once he arrives, he lets out a deep breath. He starts changing the sheets as he thinks about what Buck told him about Jake. Jake never sat right with Eddie, but he always assumed that was because he was jealous. Buck makes it very clear when he’s having problems with someone; his facial expressions alone give it away to Eddie. Buck is like an open book to Eddie after all the time they’ve spent together. The few times he saw Jake and Buck together, they seemed like a happy couple, which likely means that Buck wanted it to look that way. He admitted to the two of them having fights frequently and that Jake was commonly angry. Out of all the questions on Eddie’s mind, he keeps coming back to the same one: Why didn’t Buck break up with Jake sooner if the two of them weren’t getting along? He’ll wait until the morning to ask Buck since he knows that Buck just wants to sleep. As he’s placing the other sheets in the laundry basket, he hears Buck’s footsteps nearing.
Buck, clad in Eddie’s clothes, walks into the room slowly, almost cautiously. Eddie’s heart rate picks up as he takes in the sight of the man he loves wearing his clothes. The sweatpants hang low on his hips, and the shirt is just a little tighter than Buck’s usual shirts, highlighting his muscular frame perfectly. Eddie wishes this were an image he could see every day, but he knows that’s not possible. He lets himself memorize what Buck looks like now as he begins to speak, “Ready to go to sleep?”
Buck walks closer to the bed as he nods his head. He’s still anxious about sharing a bed with Eddie, but his exhaustion is mainly taking over now.
The two of them get into bed and wrap the covers around themselves. Eddie turns off the lamp next to his bed, and they become surrounded by darkness. They both lie stiffly at first. Buck notices the gap of space between the two of them and so badly wants to bridge that gap.
“Could…Could we get closer together?” Buck asks quietly into the darkness of the room. Whether it was the fact that Eddie couldn’t see his face or his sleep-addled brain that gave him the confidence to ask, he’s unsure. A part of him is shaming himself for even asking. You’ve already barged into his house at midnight and taken space in his bed. Don’t be such a burden. The other part of him desperately wants physical contact that doesn’t involve him being degraded and yelled at.
“Yeah, of course.” Eddie doesn’t hesitate to get closer to Buck. As they move closer, they turn to face each other. They can feel each other’s body heat as their legs touch and somewhat intertwine. After a couple of minutes just lying there, Eddie slowly moves his arm to wrap it around Buck’s waist. “Is this okay?”
Buck is barely able to keep his eyes open as he replies,“Yeah. This is perfect.” Any remaining space between the two of them is now gone as Buck lays his head against Eddie’s chest and falls asleep in his embrace. Eddie’s eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough where he can now see Buck, illuminated by the slit of moonlight coming through the window. For the first time tonight, Buck looks to actually be at peace. Eddie’s happy he was able to provide that feeling for Buck and drifts off to sleep, holding him tight.
*****
Buck slowly wakes up and takes in his surroundings. Eddie’s arm is still wrapped around his waist, and Buck’s head is still on his chest. Everything that happened last night floods his brain, and he takes a moment to process it all. He knows that he has to talk to Jake at some point to officially break up with him. Buck has tolerated a lot in the past couple of months, but he’s done. He can’t keep going on this way, it’s driving him insane. He also knows that Eddie is going to ask a bunch of questions when he wakes up. Buck would like to stay right here and never get up. Just forever stay wrapped in Eddie’s embrace as the morning sun hits Eddie’s tan skin in the perfect way, making it glow. Buck gives himself another couple of minutes in Eddie’s arms before carefully getting out of bed without disturbing him. He did promise Eddie breakfast in the morning.
Buck heads out of the room to use the bathroom and brush his teeth with the spare toothbrush he knows Eddie keeps for him. Something about Eddie keeping a spare toothbrush for him and placing it next to his own and Chris’s toothbrushes warms Buck’s heart. It makes him feel included, wanted. Buck takes a minute to check out his black eye since he never got the chance to take a look at it last night. The skin around his eye is a deep purple color, but he’s glad to see that his eyelid isn’t very swollen. He would hate to only be seeing out of one eye. Small mercies, I guess. He knows that Bobby and the rest of the team are going to see his eye since he has work in two days. It’s unlikely that he will be able to get away without explaining himself. Buck is considering making up a lie to explain how he got it, but he’s not sure right now. He’ll have to figure something out later.
As he heads out of the bathroom, he remembers that he left his phone on the coffee table next to the couch. He walks over and looks at all his missed notifications. Buck’s glad he put his phone on do not disturb last night because he has an uncomfortable amount of missed calls and texts from Jake. He left numerous voicemails that Buck isn’t going to bother listening to. The texts span from cursing him out to begging him to come back. Buck sends Jake one text, then muted all notifications from him, “We’re through. Get the hell out of my apartment.” He puts his phone in his pocket and heads over to the kitchen to start cooking.
First, Buck puts on a pot of coffee for the two of them as he thinks about what to make for breakfast. He remembers that he bought ingredients to make cheese pupusas on his last grocery shopping trip with Eddie, since he wanted to make some for Eddie and Chris. Since Chris is at a sleepover right now, Buck will make sure to save some for when he gets back. Buck has some trouble shaping the dough at first, but he figures it out pretty quickly. Alongside the pupusas, he’s also making some eggs and bacon. He does them in batches since the griddle he’s using is only so big. As he’s finishing up the final batch, he hears footsteps behind him. He turns around to see Eddie. His hair is a mess, his sweatpants are lower on his hips than before, his shirt is slightly rucked up, exposing skin, and sleep is still prominent in his eyes. To Buck, he looks perfect.
“Morning, Eddie. You woke up at the perfect time, breakfast is almost done if you want to sit down. There’s also coffee in the pot,” Buck says to him, trying not to stare for too long. Eddie softly hums in reply, still too tired to properly respond. Buck turns back around to take the last two pupusas off the griddle. He realizes that he burned one side of them a little because he got distracted, but it’s alright, he’ll just take those for himself.
As Buck is plating all the food he made, Eddie gets himself some coffee. Once he’s had a couple of sips, he replies to Buck. “You didn’t have to do all of this.” Eddie decides to pour a cup for Buck and prep it the way he likes.
“I told you last night that I was going to make you breakfast in the morning as a thank you for letting me crash here,” Buck explains as he brings the food over to the table.
“You’re always welcome here, you know that, Buck,” Eddie responds with sincerity as he brings both of their cups to the table and places them in their respective spots. The two of them sit down and begin eating. They sit in a comfortable silence as they eat. Eddie has all the questions he wants to ask running through his mind, but he wants to let Buck bring up what happened last night himself. As curious as Eddie is, he understands that this is Buck’s story to tell, which means Buck decides if and when he shares.
As they finish their meal, Buck takes the dishes over to the sink. “You can ask,” he says, refusing to look at Eddie as he begins to wash the plates and cookware he used. It’s not that he’s uncomfortable sharing with Eddie; it’s just that these conversations tend to be easier on him without direct eye contact. “If there’s a question I don’t want to answer, I’ll let you know, but go ahead and ask what you want.”
Normally, Eddie would object to Buck washing the dishes since he did all the cooking, but he understands that Buck needs to keep his hands busy during this conversation. He’s grateful that Buck is even letting him ask questions; he wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to talk about it. Eddie decides to start off by just checking in with Buck, “How are you feeling?”
Buck has to admit that that was not the question he was expecting, but is thankful for the easy start. “I’m feeling okay, I think. Not excited for the future conversations I need to have, but that’s a later problem.’
Eddie nods his head in response, even though Buck can’t see him. He doesn’t have any response for that, so he moves on to his next question. “How long has the arguing and Jake’s anger issues been going on?”
This question makes Buck pause for a moment. He knew Eddie was going to ask about Jake; he quite literally gave him permission to, but it’s harder to talk about than he expected. He hasn’t been honest about what’s going on in his relationship with anyone. Saying it out loud makes it all real. He quietly manages to respond, “From the very beginning,” and continues to wash the dishes.
Eddie is glad he’s still sitting because that answer caught him off guard. He was expecting maybe a month or two in, not that the aggression was there for the whole relationship. Has Jake been mistreating him for all these months? Buck is one of the kindest people he has ever met. He’s selfless, passionate, caring, loving, the list goes on. Jake knew how kind and selfless Buck was and took advantage of him for his own personal gain. He wanted to feel powerful and dominant to make up for whatever sad life he was probably living. “This next question I ask with absolutely no judgment, I just want to know. Why didn’t you leave him?”
Buck knew that question was coming. He notes a sadness in Eddie’s voice, and he’s upset at himself for causing that. You’re just giving him more things to stress about, he has enough on his plate. He tries to fight those thoughts by reminding himself that Eddie wouldn’t be asking if he didn’t care.
Buck takes a deep breath as he begins to respond to the question. “There’s a part of me that thinks I deserve it. I deserve to be yelled at and degraded. To be told that I’m worthless. It’s something I’ve heard my whole life. He had his moments where he was nice and caring, but it was mostly aggression. At certain points, he convinced me that his aggression was my fault. That if I was just a better partner, he wouldn’t have to treat me that way. I remember complaining to him about how often he got drunk, but he blamed it on me. Said that I was stressing him out so much that he had to drink. I think the only reason he stayed around is because I tolerated the way he treated me. Yeah, there were plenty of times when I yelled back just as loud, but those screaming matches almost always ended with me just dissociating and giving him a response I knew would make him happy. I think the defiance on my end was something he liked as long as he won in the end.” Buck takes a moment to breathe. All the dishes are done, but he keeps a tight grip on the sink; he can’t bear to look at Eddie. The words are coming out of his mouth without him even thinking. He’s been holding this all in for so long that he can’t stop. He has to tell him everything. “The other reason for staying was that he was a distraction. He distracted me from reality. Distracted me from the fact that I’m in love with my best friend but can never be with him. I don’t know how to hold a healthy relationship. I am an absolute mess of a person, and even if you did have the same feelings for me, I don’t deserve you. I can’t be what you need, and that absolutely crushes me. But I didn’t have time to think about all of that with Jake. There was always something else for my mind to be on. I made sure we looked like the perfect couple from the outside. Once he hit me, I realized I couldn’t take it anymore. He was only going to become more aggressive, and I had to get out while I still could.” Buck lets out a long sigh and finishes off his rambling, “I’m sorry if I’ve ruined things between us by being in love with you. I tried so hard to ignore my feelings and push them down, but I can’t. I would still like to be friends if you’re okay with that. You and Chris are really important to me, and I don’t want to lose you two.”
Eddie is astonished. Hearing Buck talk so poorly about himself is incredibly upsetting. Eddie wanted to interrupt him multiple times to correct him, to tell him how worthy of love and care he is, but he knew that Buck needed to get everything off his chest. Eddie would collect every star in the universe if that’s what Buck wanted. He would do anything for that man. That beautiful man in front of him, who doesn’t understand his worth and his importance. Eddie doesn’t care how long it takes, he will make sure Buck understands that he deserves better.
Eddie stands up and slowly approaches Buck from the side so as not to startle him. “Buck,” Eddie softly says, trying to get his attention. Buck is still staring down at the sink, and his knuckles are white with how tightly he’s holding on. Eddie gently places his hands over Buck’s to get them to relax and tries again, “Evan.” This got Buck to look over at him, but he’s still avoiding eye contact. Eddie knows that eye contact can be rough for Buck sometimes, but he needs him to look him in the eyes, to understand he is telling the truth. “Could you look at me? Please? I know it’s hard, but I would appreciate it if you could.”
Buck takes in a deep breath, slowly loosens his grip on the sink, and looks over at Eddie. Both his and Eddie’s eyes are watering, on the verge of tears. Before Buck’s self-deprecating thoughts can begin again, Eddie begins to speak. “I love you, Evan. Okay? You hear me? I love you. You deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, compassion, and love. You don’t deserve to be degraded or disrespected in any way. You especially don’t deserve to be physically harmed. I promise you are not a mess, you are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. Jake is an absolute piece of shit and I will help you make sure you never have to deal with him again. You haven’t ruined anything between us, I promise. When you came into my life, you accepted my family with open arms and supported us through so many things. Chris and I love you so much. When you’re ready, I would love to be in a relationship with you. I’m sure Chris will be ecstatic since he already sees you as a second father.”
Buck can’t believe what he’s hearing. He thought there was no way Eddie could feel the same way for him. Not only that, but Eddie thinks he’s enough the way he is. Buck couldn’t stop the sobs that ripped out of his chest by the end of Eddie’s speech. Eddie didn’t hesitate to tightly wrap his arms around Buck in a hug, and Buck did the same. They stand there, just holding each other, as Buck sobs and Eddie gently cries as he realizes how much pain Buck has been in. He will make sure Buck never feels that way again.
After a couple of minutes, their cries quiet down. They both pull back to look at each other, but their arms are still wrapped around each other. “You really mean it? That you love me and want to be with me despite everything you know about me?” Buck questions.
Eddie lets go of Buck to gently cup his face, taking care not to press on any bruised skin. “Everything I know about you is just more reasons to be with you, Buck. Yes, I want to be with you.” Eddie wants to kiss him so badly, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm Buck.
Luckily, Buck takes it upon himself to slowly lean in until their lips meet. Buck’s lips are soft and gentle, but there’s some hesitation and doubt. Eddie slowly applies more pressure to reassure Buck that he is certain about this. They stand there, lips connected, Buck’s arms around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie gently stroking Buck’s cheek with his thumb as he holds Buck’s face. Neither of them knows how long they’ve been standing there kissing before they separate for air and look into each other’s eyes. Buck couldn’t see it before, but it’s clear as day now. The only thing he can see in Eddie’s eyes is love. He knows Eddie’s telling the truth about everything, as hard as it is for him to accept it. “I love you, Eddie. I love you more than words can describe.”
“I love you too, Evan. I promise to treat you with all the love that you deserve. Te amo hasta la luna y de regreso,” Eddie tenderly replies.
The two of them just stand there, holding on to one another, in their own little bubble. Buck is glad to be beginning a new chapter in his life with Eddie. He can’t wait for the life they are going to build together.