Work Text:
Craig and Tweek had always been perfectly content with their lives. They had been practically attached at the hip since the day they met—which also happened to be the day Craig was born. Their mothers had been best friends since they were teenagers. They were both so excited that they had kids the same age. Laura didn’t work until both of her kids were in school, and she also watched Tweek during the day.
Around middle school, the boys started dating and quickly discovered they were better off as lovers, not the other way around. They continued dating until they got married after Craig graduated from college.
As soon as they got to school, they both quickly realized they hated big city life, so immediately after they graduated from college, they moved back to South Park.
It was kind of funny, in a way, when Craig proposed to Tweek after one of their routine date nights. It was a beautiful summer evening, so Craig suggested they go for a walk after dinner. The two boys went to Stark’s Pond, which had a walking trail surrounding the water. They decided to sit down at one of the benches to enjoy the summer sunset, and that's when Craig did it. Craig got down on one knee, praying to anyone who would listen that his arthritic knees would let him be able to stand back up once he was ready, and asked Tweek to marry him. Tweek was a mess of emotions, but the one that took over the most was anger. Tweek was so mad once he realized what Craig was doing.
It wasn’t that Tweek didn’t want to get married; he absolutely did. The problem was that Tweek had also been planning to propose that night, and he was pissed that Craig beat him to it. Craig just laughed, and they exchanged rings. It figured that they would have the same idea. They were pretty much always in sync.
They got married in their backyard with a total of 10 people present. In all honesty, even that was too many people for Craig. He would’ve preferred to call Tweek’s friend Kenny, who happened to be the only one they knew who was ordained, but Craig knew he would never hear the end of it from Clyde.
Settling into their new life, they had everything they wanted. Craig had a degree in aerospace engineering and worked remotely for NASA, and Tweek had inherited his parent's coffee shop, and he was having a lot of fun with that.
They were having a blast—just Craig and Tweek against the world, the way it was supposed to be. It wasn’t always easy, and it wasn’t always pretty. They both had their own issues, but at the end of the day, Craig and Tweek were both fucked up in perfectly compatible ways, and anyone who knew them knew they were going to be together forever.
About three years after they married, they finally got a question they had been dreading for years. The two boys were at Craig’s mom's house, Craig’s mom,
His sister, her husband, and Tweek’s mom all had a tradition of getting together on Friday nights and having dinner together. They all took turns hosting.
It was a great routine. It kept their weird little family close and made sure they all had time to see each other since their lives could get pretty hectic.
But right before his mom brought out dessert, Craig’s mom had a question for him.
“You two have been together for a long time, am I getting any grandkids anytime soon?”
Craig nearly choked on his water.
Craig and Tweek were both 27 and had talked about it before. They had both decided that while they loved kids and probably would be good dads, they had a lot going on in their lives that wasn’t conducive to raising children.
Both Craig and Tweek dealt with various forms of chronic and mental illness. Craig was diagnosed with lupus in high school and dealt with chronic pain and depression. Tweek had always struggled with severe anxiety and had wicked stomach issues and spent a fair amount of his time-fighting dehydration and trying to stay away from the ER.
In the end, they both agreed that it wasn’t really fair to the kid if they couldn’t guarantee that one or both of them would be stable at any given point. It would’ve put too much stress on everyone in the situation, and that wasn’t good for anyone.
“Yeah, if you want grandkids, you're gonna have to talk to Trish about that. I don’t think human children are in the cards for us. You're stuck with guinea pig grandkids,” Craig said.
Craig’s mom understood. He was lucky she never tried to pressure them or change their minds. At the end of the day, both of their mothers just wanted them to be happy and live their lives the way they wanted to.
One day, a few years later, Craig and Tweek were both in their room in bed. They were having a lazy day since neither one of them really felt good. Craig’s joints were swollen and achy, and he had been battling a headache and a low-grade fever all morning while Tweek was recovering from a cold.
While relaxing and working on their shared Stardew Valley farm, Craig’s phone pinged. When he looked over to see who the text was from, his eyes lit up, and he tried not to react too much. He had been waiting for this text for a while.
The person who texted Craig was none other than his friend and resident animal lover, Stan Marsh. For months, Tweek had been mentioning wanting to get another pet. They already had four guinea pigs, but he wanted something a little bigger. These last few weeks, Tweek had been extra relentless, sending every post about kittens for sale to Craig.
Little did Tweek know Craig had been scheming. On his way home from work one day, Stan stopped by the grocery store to grab a side salad his husband, Kyle, had forgotten to get earlier that day and a case of Dr Pepper. When Stan left the grocery store, he found a tiny orange cat in the parking lot. So naturally, he scooped up the cat and brought it home.
Kyle was not surprised by this in any way, shape, or form. This was precisely how they had gotten most of their pets. However, when Stan took their new cat to the vet to see if it was chipped and get its shots updated, he found out very quickly that the cat was pregnant. Stan didn’t worry about this, though. When he was growing up on his dad's farm, they always had a barn cat that seemed to have a litter of kittens every other week.
Stan also knew that kittens were easy to offload, so he didn’t worry about it, but he DID remember Craig saying something about looking for a cat as a surprise for Tweek. When the kittens were born, he sent a picture to Craig and told him he got the first pick when they were old enough to leave their mom.
That day had finally come. The kittens were eight weeks old. Stan sent another picture of the tiny little kitten faces. It was perfect timing, really, and he had the perfect excuse to leave the house for a minute without his husband getting suspicious that he was up to something.
“Who texted you, baby?” Tweek asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing, just the pharmacy. I have a prescription ready, so I’m going to head out and pick it up. Maybe some fresh air will help my headache. I also need to get more cold medicine. I gave you the last of it this morning, and you're going to need more soon,” Craig said as he slowly stood up and stretched out his bones. His knees were killing him, but the new meds he was going to pick up would help, he hoped.
“Okay, drive safe, honey. I’m tired, so I think I’m going to just take a nap while you're gone,” Tweek said. Craig leaned down to kiss his forehead before heading out. He was legitimately going to go to the pharmacy, so he wasn’t technically lying, but it still felt weird that he was so used to telling Tweek everything.
The pharmacy was uneventful; they had his prescription ready for once. While he was out he picked up some of his and Tweek’s favorite snacks and drinks. Once he was finished there, he went next door to the Target and picked up his cat supplies and a few toys.
Finally, it was time to go to Stan and Kyle’s house to pick out a cat. Craig was so excited. Stan led him to the spare bedroom, where the kittens were playing. It was so hard to choose, but after playing with them for a little bit, a little apricot tabby peeked its head around the corner.
The second he saw the tiny cat with its big green eyes, Craig knew it was the one. The kitten slowly walked over to where Craig was sitting cross-legged on the floor, crawled into his lap, and immediately started purring.
“Of course, you picked that one; her name is Latte; she’s a real sweetheart, a huge cuddle bug, a wonderful choice,” Stan said with a smile.
“That’s perfect, Tweeks going to love her,” Craig said smiling as the tiny cat mewed at him.
“How much do I owe you?’ Craig asked.
“Nah, man, you're good. I don’t need any money. All I really care about is that the cats go to good homes where they will be taken care of and loved properly,” Stan explained.
“Do you have any prospects for the others? Craig asked.
“Not yet. I wanted to wait to post them until you picked the one you wanted. However, I am going to take one of them over to my niece tonight,” Stan said with a grin.
“Your sister is going to kill you, dude,” Kyle said, shaking his head.
“Nah, she won't. She knows about it, and besides, she likes cats more than people most of the time,” Stan laughed.
“Thank you again. Seriously, Tweeky is going to be so happy,” Craig said.
“Of course, dude. Send me pictures every once in a while!” Stan said excitedly as he helped Craig up off the floor and put the cat into the carrier.
Stan and Kyle only lived about ten minutes away from Craig and Tweek, but the drive home felt so long. He was SO excited. Craig pulled into the driveway and turned off his car before walking to the passenger seat to grab the cat carrier. Craig walked up to the door and unlocked it before setting the carrier on the floor and gently removing the small orange cat.
When Craig walked back to his bedroom, he opened the door and saw that Tweek was awake from his nap and on his phone. He was holding it sideways, which meant he was probably playing Genshin Impact.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!” Craig said excitedly.
“Hi, babe,” Tweek said lazily, sitting up in bed
‘So... I have a little surprise for you,’ Craig said as he reached into his sweatshirt pocket, pulled out the tiny kitten, and handed it to Tweek.
Tweek gently took the tiny cat and cupped it in his hands, examining every inch of its tiny frame. As soon as Tweek held her up to his chest, she immediately snuggled in and started purring like a car engine. She let out the softest little mew, and Tweek started to tear up.
“You got me a cat?!?” Tweek said softly as he stroked the kitten's soft, fluffy fur.
“Surprise! One of Stan's cats had kittens, and he asked if we wanted one. I remembered you saying you wanted another pet, and the timing was just perfect; it was a total coincidence that the kittens were ready at the same time you got sick. I didn't plan that part.” Craig explained.
“Wait, how long have you planned to get a cat without telling me?” Tweek said suspiciously.
“Oh, like 3 months ago when Stan found out he was about to have a house full of kittens, and Kyle told him that he needed to find homes for them and get the cat fixed because they were not becoming a cat sanctuary,” Craig said.
“Yeah, that sounds like Kyle,” Tweek said, laughing so hard that he triggered a coughing fit. The kitten looked up at him and made direct eye contact before mewing at him.
“So? Is it a boy or a girl? Does it have a name? I can't imagine Stan not naming all the cats before rehoming them.” Tweek asked.
“She's a girl, and he named her Latte. I was already sold before he told me her name, but that solidified my choice,” Craig revealed.
“It’s perfect, she’s perfect, and you’re perfect. I love you so much, baby. You are so sweet to me. I can't believe you remembered, thank you SO much I love her, and you,” Tweek said, stroking his kitten's tiny head.
“Of course, I remembered. I love you, and I love to spoil you. I firmly believe that you deserve to have everything you want,” Craig said as he placed his hand on Tweek’s cheek, leaned down, and kissed him.
“You’re going to get sick if you keep doing that, and I won't even feel bad for you because it will be entirely your fault’ Tweek warned him
“I don’t care; I love you. Besides, we sleep in the same bed every night, and three of my meds are immunosuppressants, so we both know that I’m going to get sick no matter what,” Craig argued before kissing his husband again.
On the topic of meds, Craig remembered he needed to get the things he got at the pharmacy and get all the kitten supplies set up and ready to go. Craig left the room to go out to his car and bring the bags in. The meds and snacks went to the kitchen, while the kitten supplies went into the laundry room. Craig figured the laundry room would be the best spot for the cat's food, water dishes, and litter box. The room had a door, so it was quiet, and the cat could have some privacy.
Craig went back into the kitchen after getting the food and water bowls set up. Stan had told him that they had left a bowl of dry food and water out all day that the cats could graze on as they wanted, and then they got wet food twice a day. Routines were very important to Craig, and he didn’t want to disrupt the cats' routine either, so he decided to follow the same feeding schedule at their house.
Returning to their bedroom with the pharmacy bag in hand, Craig changed back into his pajamas. His excitement for the day was catching up to him, and he was worn out. He missed the days when he had the energy to go out and do the things he wanted, pain-free, but that wasn’t his reality anymore.
Craig poured out a dose of bright orange cold medicine for Tweek before showing him the treats he had brought home and opening the orange bottle that held his new prescription. It was a pain medication his rheumatologist had prescribed at a recent appointment that was supposed to help with his joint pain and swelling. Craig didn’t have high hopes that it would work, though; he had been burned many times in the past and didn’t want to be disappointed. He was content with the knowledge that it was worth a shot to try the new medication, and it probably wouldn’t make his issues worse, so he swallowed the pill.
Craig got in bed next to his husband. Tweek handed Craig the PS5 controller, signaling to Craig that he wanted him to put something on TV to watch. Craig put on Bob’s Burgers - a comfort show of theirs, before tucking himself and Tweek snuggly into bed. The tiny kitten still rested comfortably on Tweek’s chest. Craig grabbed his phone and snapped a quick picture, sending it off to his mom with a text reading:
Meet your new grandbaby :)
Craig plugged in his phone and cuddled up close with Tweek as they took their first nap as a family of three.