Chapter 1: Lucky you
Chapter Text
Positive. All three tests show the same results, from the cheapest to the most expensive one the answer is clear – you are pregnant. Or better said – knocked up. This is everything else but a planned pregnancy.
Sitting on the tailed floor of your bathroom you try to take deep breaths but nothing your therapist has taught you works. Your heart is about to explode, and your mind is going wild. Panic is slowly overtaking you.
How did this happen? It was just one time. The one single time you let yourself have a one-night stand after almost two years without any sex or interaction with a man of any kind and you end up knocked up? This must be some kind of a joke.
***
5 weeks earlier
The waiting room of your therapist's office has an inviting atmosphere, with two comfortable white fluff armchairs to sit on while you wait for your turn. A plush rug lay on the floor, muffling the sound of footsteps and creating a sense of serenity. Magazines and books are neatly arranged on a small modern glass table, offering a variety of reading material to distract anxious minds. Potted plants and tasteful artwork adorned the room, and the smell of lavender fills out the space.
Despite the calm atmosphere you are always a bit anxious before your therapist visits. Playing nervously with your fingers as you pull the edges of your hair has been a habit of yours when you are nervous since you can remember.
The reason why you went to therapy was because you have ended a three-year relationship, or your ex-partner did. During those three years you have lost a big part of yourself and who you are... were. If someone three years ago told you that you will end up in a toxic and mentally abusive relationship you most likely wouldn't have believed them. The man you had fallen in love with, wasn't the same man who you felt out of love and broke your heart and spirit.
It has taken you a lot and it still does to bring yourself back piece by piece, but slowly and steadily with the help of your therapist and close friends you are getting back on your feet.
The door to her office opens and you slightly lift your head. Watching your therapist sending her current patinate away with a warm encouraging smile, with whom you don't dare to make any eye contact with; with that same smile she looks at you and invites you to enter her office. Giving her a small nod you get up and leave the comfort of the soft armchair and walk to her with a shy smile.
Walking into the now very familiar office, you take your usual spot on the nice light brown leather sofa placed in the middle of the room, next to her comfortable armchair made of the same leather. The walls painted in soothing shades of white and beige create a harmonious and calming backdrop. Natural light filters through large windows, gently illuminating the room and casting a warm glow. Potted plants add a touch of nature, while the painfully familiar artworks on the walls contribute for the minimalistic aesthetic of the office.
Once you put your bag and jacket aside you turn to your therapist as she closes the door and takes a seat on her chair. Nico Robin, a nice, intelligent and extremely gorgeous woman, an expert in her job, is the person who helps you to get back on your feet for the past ten moths. A close friend of yours at work has recommended you her and until this day you feel like you own your friend a huge favour for this. Who know how deep of a hole you would have dig yourself into if it wasn't for your friend suggestion one day for you to go to therapy.
"How are you feeling today (Y/N)?" She asks crossing her legs one over the other as she opens her notebook and waits for your response. "I love how your hair is today. Have you been to the hairdresser?"
Nodding with your head you give her a confident smile before your response, "I'm good and quite excited. And yes, I was before I came here. I thought to myself – why not treat myself today."
"I'm so happy you're slowly getting this mindset back. You deserve it. What are you feeling excited for today?" Taking her glasses off she leans back on her armchair with curiosity spread across her features. So far into your sessions you have never mentioned being excited as current feeling; sad, lonely, confused, scared, lost, from time to time good, are your usual response, but excited – so far until today she hasn't heard it from you.
"Well-" Leaning back on the sofa, you cross your legs and fix your posture to straighten your back a bit, but mostly to look more confident in what you are saying. "My best friend has a birthday today and we are going out, and surprisingly I really do want to go out. I haven't felt like this in... well, you know. Months." You chuckle with a half shrug.
Your self esteem and self worth have been broken to the ground after, and during, the time spent with your ex-partner. You recently gain some confidence to go out like you used to before. Because of all the things said from your ex, you felt like you must hide from the world. You felt so belittle that the thought of strangers outside of your family and friends to see you made your blood run cold, which also affected not only your personal, but professional life as well.
Now, thanks to the weekly therapy sessions with Nico Robin your confidence is slowly but steady coming back. Some weeks are better than the others, but you try not to get too hard on yourself, because the progress of getting yourself back together is acknowledge even by you.
"I'm so glad to hear this. Have you threated yourself with a nice new outfit as well?" Robin smiles, more to herself than you as she hopes that you will give her a positive answer.
The first time you have walked into her office broke her heart a bit. She always keeps her professional behaviour, but seeing and hearing how a young beautiful woman like you had been constantly put down and unappreciated, while being the complete opposite off all those things made her blood boiled, especially from unsuccessful insecure men like the man who is now your ex.
"Yes, I did." And you feel amazing about it. You don't remember the last time you actually bought something that made you feel so desirable and sexy without doubting yourself. "Can you guess?" You playfully challenged your therapist.
She hasn't seen much so far of this playful side of yours and she would be lying if she says that she doesn't enjoy it. Parts of Robin feel like this is a glimpse of the old you, the one before your three years of hell. "A dress?"
"Mhm." Humming you encourage her to continue with further guesses about the dress.
Bringing one endpiece of her glass' frame close to her lips and biting it Robin takes her time to answer you. No matter where this outburst of confidence comes from, you won't be so bold to go for something revealing, so it should be still something nice and convenient. "Maybe a long floral or one-color dress."
"No." You shake your head with a small sly smile.
"Knee high length?" Robin raises one of her brows.
Pulling one strand of hair behind your ear you shake your head again and give her the answer. "A little black dress." A big smile spreads across your face and a laughter escape past your lips as you see the surprised reaction written on your therapist's face. "And high heels. Red bottoms."
For a moment and entirely purposely Robin drops her therapist persona and replies to you as a friend. "As you should and as you deserve. I'm proud of you."
But this moment doesn't last long as you are quick to brush it off as nothing. "It's just a little black dress, me and probably twenty other women will be wearing the same outfit anyway."
And here is the you she knows. Quick to belittle yourself as you are someone who doesn't turn heads when she walks somewhere. You do, but sadly, you are too blind to see it yourself.
Going back to her professional persona, Robin moves a bit on her chair to make herself more comfortable, before she starts with the questions for which only you have the answers to help yourself. "Why did you belittle yourself again?"
The smile on your face fades quickly. "I don't know." You slightly shrug. "As I said, I won't be the only one wearing this and this type of dress is always a safe play."
"That's true." Robbin nods, agreeing with what you have said. "But you do know that you will get noticed tonight, right?" For some people the way Robin picks her words now might sound unprofessional, but she makes the choice of wording it that way purposely.
As much as you don't want to have any kind of connection with any man right now, deep down you will be lying to yourself if you say that you won't mind a glance or two from someone. At the end of the day, you are a young woman in her prime years trying to gain her confidence back and of course a man is not the key, but we are all human beings, one way or another we all look for some kind of validation or a sign that we are desired.
"In a way." You quietly say, your voice comes out almost as a whisper. "But I doubt. I'm more looking for... for the feeling of looking myself in the mirror and say 'wow, I still got it'." Lifting your fist in the air and faking a fake enthusiasm makes Robin shake her head slightly.
"You've always got it." She tells you confidently. "You must see it as well. Feel it." Writing a few things down in her notebook, without looking at you she continues to speak. "But I asked you this not because I think you are looking for male attention, I'm asking because I know you will get some, and I want to know how you feel about this. Do you think what happened last time can happen again?"
Taking a strand of your hair between your fingers, you swirl it around as you take your time to answer Robin. What will you do if someone approaches you? Definitely cut them off. You are not interested in any kind of interaction with a man, and you don't think that you will be any time soon.
The last time a guy tried to hit on you was two months ago when you and your best friend Boa, went out for a drink in a bar close to your place. It was the first time in months that you got dressed up and ready to party, but sadly it didn't last long. The guy was polite and nice, but the memories of your ex came back in the moment you felt the smell of the guy's perfume as it was the same as your ex's. It made you so uncomfortable. You had to grab Boa by the hand and drag her out of the place as fast as possible as you felt like you were choking for air. The night ended with you curled up in your best friend's arms while crying on the sofa in the middle of your living room, reliving memories you have been trying to erase so badly.
"I don't know what I will do." You sigh avoiding your therapist's eyes. There is a stubborn slip end on one of your hairs and you decide to focus on it while opening yourself up. "I don't think that I'm ready to do anything, yet. Mostly because it's hard to trust their intensions. My ex was also nice in the beginning, but it was all a mask."
"But you must learn how to trust again, don't you think?" There is no scolding or judgment in her voice nor eyes. Robin doesn't want to make you feel bad; she wants to help you get out of your shell.
Nodding a few times you clicked with your tongue, shrugging still focused on your hair. "I know. I just don't know how ready I am to do so."
"Baby steps." Robin says encouraging.
The rest of your session goes with talks about how you should try to relax in places such as bars and clubs. How you should slowly start getting out of your comfort zone, or like Robin likes to call it – your fear zone and start letting yourself going out a bit more.
"Imagine going out for a drink as another commercial deal you seal." She gives you an example. "How do you manage so good at work if you feel so stressed out about something as simple as going out with friends in a place where a lot of people happen to be?"
A loud sigh escapes past your lips. "It's different."
"How so? Elaborate." Playing with the pen between her fingers, Robin leans on the palm on her hand and waits for your response.
"First – when it comes to work, I'm quite confident in what I do." This is something no one can deny you.
While you were in university studying business and marketing, your mother arranged you a job as an intern in a television commercial company. There you met a lot of interesting people and got close to your boss, who happened to be an old college friend of your mother, who soon after you graduated, offered you a permanent job as marketing advisor for the company. You have been working there for five years now and just two years ago your interest changed and you decided to become an agent at the same company, representing mostly models from across the country.
"But also, work me and personal life me are two completely different people." Most of your colleagues barely know who you are outside your job. You have always been very private in your life, only your closest friends know what is going on in it, and you are very selective with whom you let close to yourself.
Of course, in the past year, your work and personal self-mixed up due to the depression you had fallen into, but you are back on track now and you plan to keep it that way.
"Why do you think work you manages better?" Her intense blue eyes pierce through you.
"Because as you know I work mostly with models, and these people are always so confident or they fake it so well, therefore I must fake my confidence, too." Letting go of the hair strand you wrap your hands around yourself, trying to protect yourself from being exposed, slowly getting back into your shell, your voice lowers almost to a whisper. "Fake it till I make it, I guess."
Putting her notebook aside, Robin sits on the edge of her chair and reaches out, placing her hand gently on your shoulder. "There is the answer." She says with a smile. "If you can fake it for the people you represent to sign them jobs, then you can fake it as something as simple as going out for a drink."
"But you know the problem isn't the going out for the drink." You jokingly chuckle, trying to hide the uncomfortable feeling behind the lightness of your tone.
"I know." Pulling away from you, the dark-haired woman nod. "That is why tonight I want you to do exactly what you said." She gives you a challenging smile as you turn your head in confusion towards her. "I want you to fake this confidence the moment a man approaches you and just try to not think much of it, and remember – you always, and I mean it, always have the choice over what you want and need."
With a deep sigh you nod. "I'll try my best."
"You said it yourself – fake it till you make it. Sometimes we must do things that make us uncomfortable for the sake of overcoming them. You're strong. I believe in you." She gives you a little wink before you continue with another topic.
-
The laughter around the table and the cheers of another round of champagne echoes as you celebrate your best friend's birthday. You have gathered in one of the latest most popular and fancy restaurants in the city, and Boa, being Boa, has booked one of the private dining rooms in the restaurant for only you and the rest of your group of friends.
The room is dimmed lighted, creating this nice and welcoming atmosphere. The walls are painted in a serene shade of off-white colour. The centrepiece of the room is a long oval dining table made of white marble. A lush arrangement mix of white peonies and lilies are arranged along the centre of the table, their delicate petals contrasting beautifully against the neutral backdrop, among with the white candles and their soft, ambient lighting casts a warm glow over the table, the gentle shadows of them dancing on your faces.
The overall effect is one of understated luxury, something Boa has grown up with and always chase, where every detail has been carefully considered to create an atmosphere of refined elegance and comfort for her special day.
You two have been best friends since first grade. She has been your rock many times in life, and you were hers. Boa is the sister you have never gotten to have, and you are the same to her, even though she has two younger sisters, you have a higher spot in her heart than them.
Before you know it, you two and the rest of the girls are saying goodbye. All of you are tipsy, and tomorrow all of you must work as it is Wednesday and Boa is leaving in the afternoon for a photoshoot abroad for a famous brand, which means she will be gone for at least a week, and she doesn't want to miss celebrating her birthday with her friends. Till this day you can't believe that she trusts you so much to a point that when you decided to become an agent, she immediately left her old one and switched to you and the company you work for.
"Girl, you and I are not going home yet." She wraps one arm around your shoulders and leans on you, clearly drunk.
Giggling, as you have also drunk a bit too much of champagne, you try to reason her. "But we have work tomorrow, and you have a flight to catch. Don't you wanna be fresh in the morning?"
"I wanna party with my best friend." She leans more of her bodyweight on you, which makes you trip almost by sending you both on the ground, as maintaining your balance on high heels while being quite tipsy is something you are not very good at.
You both laugh loudly as you pull away from one another. "Okay, okay. Where should we go?" You raise your hand up to call a taxi to pick you up and drive you to some bar you two usually end up going to.
It doesn't take long for one to stop. Both of you take a seat at the back and as you are about to tell the taxi driver where to drive you, your friend has something else in mind interrupting you before you can tell the driver where to take you. "Mister, please take us to some cheap old rock bar." She drunkenly laughs.
"What?" You turn your head to her in disbelief.
Boa laughs ones again, before nodding to the driver to drive to where she has told him to. "Relax." She pushes your shoulder playfully. "We are trying something new tonight." With an unbothered shrug she leans back on the seat and closes her eyes for a minute.
"I don't mind, but... is it safe?" As much as you are drunk, you are still quite aware of all the possible dangers there might be, especially in a place such as cheap bars.
"It will be, trust me." Boa replies and takes your hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I need to let go a bit tonight, so I thought maybe a game or three of pool might help with some cheap tequila."
You are about to protest when you remember what you had promised your therapist earlier today. That you will try to fake it till you make it, and this is an opportunity to do so.
"Fine, but nothing too crazy." Pointing your finger at her warning, she just laughs at you.
The taxi driver soon stops the cab in front of some local bar that looks more like a pub, but neither you nor Boa protest. You pay the man and both of you get out of the taxi. "I just hope that they have a pool table, that is all I want." Boa tells you as she takes your hand and leads the way inside.
Entering the place a lot of eyes are on you two. You with your little black dress with sheer black high stockings and Boa with her long red dress with a slit are definitely not dressed for a local pub.
"I don't like this." You whisper to her as she makes your way to the bar. "A lot of people are looking at us."
Looking over her shoulder, she winks at you. "They always are." Reaching the bar, she lets go of your hand and turns towards you. "Plus, the place is not bad."
Boa is right. The place is not bad. It is not the usual place you and she are used to hanging out in, but it is not a bad place.
The bar is quite big and there are a lot of people around it or sitting around the tables across the main floor. The dim lighting casts a warm glow over the space, and the walls are covered with posters of legendary rock bands. The air buzzes with youthful energy as groups of friends laugh and chat, their voices blending with the rock music playing in the background.
Towards the back of the pub is the area with a few well-worn pool tables. The clinking of billiard balls and the occasional cheer from a winning shot add to the lively atmosphere.
Despite the initial wariness, you find the environment surprisingly inviting. It's a place where everyone just seems to be enjoying the night, letting loose and having a good time.
"Here." Boa says as she hands you a beer in hand. She knows that you are not a fan of beer, neither is she, but by the looks of it tonight you both are doing something out of your usual comfort zones. "I also got us a shot of tequila." Following her gaze, you see the bartender pouring two shot glasses with the transparent liquid.
"You'll be the death of me tonight." You sigh, shaking your head as you grab the shot glass and cheers with her before drinking the shot in one go. The after taste burns your insides and you bite on the lemon as fast as you can so you can get rid of it. "God, I hate tequila." Your whole-body shiver as the sourness of the lemon hits your tastebuds.
"Your nineteen years old self used to say otherwise." Your friend makes fun of you, reminding you of the times when you were wild teenagers.
Sarcastically rolling your eyes with a shake of your head you tell your friend, "Uh, I wish I was her again."
Boa gives you one encouraging smile before raising her own beer glass "I think we are slowly getting her back." Hearing her saying this gives you a little boost of confidence. Clinking the beer glasses you both take a sip of it and make a face after swallowing the alcohol beverage.
Shaking your head with disgust you put away the beer and tell your best friend to go wait for a pool table while you buy new drinks for you. Boa doesn't need to be told twice before she turns around and makes her way to the back of the bar.
While you are busy ordering your new drinks, not paying attention to the people around you, a few tables away from you three men are sitting, sipping beers and playing cards.
The day shift at the fire station has gone smoothly, which means there were no emergency calls. The three men sitting around the worn-out wooden table at the bar are here not only to relax a bit after long hours at work, but also to celebrate the possible rank promotion of one the youngest member in their department.
"I still can't believe pops select you for a Captain, skipping two whole ranks at the time." Thatch, a tall man in his early forties, with a light brown hair styled with a lot of gel to stay sleek back, chuckles amazed but proudly as he puts a card down, waiting for his colleague and friend to make his move.
Marco, a man in his forties, sitting right next to Thatch, lightly hums as he pushes his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Our boy is slowly making sure to catch up to us." Glancing with his light brown eyes at his young colleague and dear friend, he waits for his next move.
Taking his sweet time with his next move the raven-haired young man in front of them just smirks before taking a sip of his beer and placing it back on the table. Running the tip of his finger on top of the cards in his hand he finally picks one and confidently places it on the table.
"Am I catching up to you or are you slowing down?" His cocky smirk grows bigger as the card wins him the game.
"Your luck is through the roof today." Thatch groans as Ace reaches to take the pile of cards.
"Lucky me, what can I say." Ace says handing the cards to Marco to shuffle them so they can start a new game. "Still, just because I was selected doesn't mean I'll be approved."
"You will be Ace." Marco encouraging nods as he shuffles the cards. "If Pops recommended you himself, that means he sees a lot of potential in you and your skills."
"Plus, the salary you'll get once promoted will get you that dream car of yours faster." Thatch winks at him, knowing how to motivates the younger guy, who is like a little brother to both him and Marco.
Lettig out a boyish laugher, Ace nods a few times. He has been saving to buy his childhood dream car for four years now and he is so close to reaching his goal. For a lot of people, the amount of money and time he has spent on saving for something such as a car is ridicules, but to Ace – it is the most logical thing he could do in his mid-twenties.
Independent and in his prime, Ace is living life the way he has always wanted to live it – freely and without regret for anything. Every choice he has made so far has let him to better days. He regrets nothing. He doesn't regret dropping off college to become a firefighter. Helping people has always bring him joy, but so does the adrenalin of doing dangerous activities, and what is more challenging than throwing yourself in the flames of a burning building while trying to save someone's life.
"Until they approve Pops' recommendation, I can't get my hopes up." Taking the cards in one hand and looking at the hand he has gotten, Ace mentally smirks to himself – another win is on the way to him.
"Don't think much about it." Marco calmy tells him, putting the first card on the table. "After all, getting approved is the easy part, the exams and the physical test on the other hand ar-" Before he could manage to finish his sentence, he gets interrupted by his phone ringing. Pulling it up from the front pocket of his pants, he excuses himself from the table once he sees that it is his wife calling.
"I'm so happy I don't have these problems anymore." Thatch points with his eyes to where Marco left. He and his ex-wife divorced a year and a half ago, and since then the relationship between them has improved. The tone has gotten friendlier, no more fight, but more agreements as they must share custody over their teenage daughter.
"And I'm so happy I'll never have them." Ace snorts as he draws a card from the pile.
Thatch can't help but laugh at his young friend's comment. "Oh, Ace. I can't wait for the day you'll get swept away by a girl and I pray I'll be there to witness it."
"You can only dream about this day." The young rebel guy response. He has made up his mind a long time ago about relationships and the whole family idea – he doesn't want it. He has seen what married life or being in a relationship has done to most of his colleagues and friends, of course not all of them are bad – Marco being the best example of them all. He and his wife were high school sweethearts and have been together for more than twenty years with three kids, the youngest being five years old.
But this doesn't come only from his friends' experience, it also comes from the way he has grown up. Ace never understood the relationship between his mother and father. His father was gone most of the time, working as captain on cargo ships, and while it provided good for their family, Ace can say that most of his life he grew up without a father as he was never home.
"Didn't it almost happen?" Thatch knowingly raises one brow at Ace.
Rolling his eyes with a sarcastic chuckle, Ace shakes his head. "No, not even close."
"Really? I'm quite sure it you two were almost there." Placing a card down on top of Marco's one, Thatch leans back on the benched seats.
"What?" Ace looks at him with a surprised look on his face. "No, Isuka and I were not even close to anything as being in love or whatever."
"Yet, you spent two years being on and off." Putting his cards faced down on the table as Marco hadn't returned yet, Thatch crossed his arms across his chest.
Doing the same thing with his own cards, Ace places them face down on the wooden table and leans back on his chair, propping his hand on the top of the chair next to him, he looks at his friend with a look that says that he is very wrong. "We spent two years on and off because when she stopped chasing me, I was interested in chasing her and vise versa."
He and Isuka haven't been in contact in more than six months, and this has been a big relief for Ace. The situation between him and his ex-girlfriend, if he could even call her this, was nothing else but a hot mess. Both were not ready at all to make any compromises, both thinking in many cases and situations being better than the other, both playing games, but most of all neither of them ready to settle, or at least Ace wasn't ready.
The last time they saw each other was also the last time they fought over where they stood. For Ace it was clear – just people who have sex with each other from time to time and hang out if they really don't have anything else to do. But to Isuka it wasn't like this. She wanted something more than just being fuckbuddies with a man she has fallen for. She was tired of the games and so was Ace, but in the end while she felt like he was the right person for her, he did not feel the same way about her.
There was something that was missing. Ace couldn't never find full comfort in her company or look at her and be like 'Wow, I'm so lucky to have this woman by my side.', even though Isuka was the full package – beautiful, smart, well established in her carrier, but Ace just couldn't see himself with her. He couldn't see himself with her or anyone else. Not because he didn't want to. He tried. He tried many times, especially with Isuka, but at the end of the day something wasn't enough for this magical moment of a click between two people to happen.
That is why, six months later now, he never tried to contact her again or response to one of her messages she sent a while ago.
He doesn't mean to be rude to her or an asshole, but it just doesn't feel right to let her on once again or tired to be friends as this has been clear from the start that it would be impossible between them especially after sleeping together for the past two years.
Ace has always believed that the friendship between a man and a woman who have had intimate relationship is impossible, and his situation with Isuka has been already complicated it doesn't need to get any more than that.
"I'm actually glad we ended it." He murmurs more to himself than Thatch.
Walking back into the now a bit too crowded bar, Marco grabs his jacket in a hurry before turning to the guys. "I'm sorry guys, my youngest is with a very high fever and we must get home."
"Oh, poor champ." Ace says, giving Marco a sympathizing look. He knows Marco's family very well. On a few occasions he and his wife have even dropped the kids off to Ace to look after them while they go out for a date night or they must do some kind of a work which doesn't allow them to have the kids around. "Tell him I'm buying him some ice cream when he gets better."
"He'll make sure to keep this promise, you know." Pointing with his finger at Ace warningly, Marco lets a little laughter escape his lips. "It was nice to hang out with you guys. See you tomorrow."
"Take care, say hello from me." Thatch calls after Marco before he leaves. Turning back to Ace, Thatch gives him a mischievous look, one that tells Ace that nothing but trouble will be following them for the rest of the night. "As much as I love Marco, with a married man around is hard for two single men to have fun, am I right Ace?"
"You were married until a year and a half ago yourself - don't forget that." This reminder from Ace made Thatch roll his eyes.
"But I'm not anymore." Leaning with his body closer to the table, Thatch put his elbows on the table and nods at Ace to lean closer. "I saw two gorgeous women walking in like ten minutes ago. I think they are by the pool tables. Wanna go say hello?"
Turning his head where the pool tables are Ace tries to see the girls Thatch is talking about but there are too many people standing on the way for him to take a look. Shaking his head he turns back to his friend. "Nah, man. Not tonight." Grabbing the handle of the beer mug Ace lifts it to his lip to drink the last sip of it. "You want one more?"
Thatch rolls his eyes with a click of his tongue. "Sure, but you're not fun."
Laughing at him, Ace stands and makes his way to the bar. It doesn't take long to get new beers but coming back to their table he finds it empty. Taking a deep breath in, he turns to where the pool tables are and see his friend standing there talking to a girl a bit taller than him, in a red dress, dressed up a bit too much for a local bar like this one.
Shaking his head in disapproval, Ace makes his way to his friend. "Thatch!" He calls out the man's name who sometimes tends to go far and beyond for the lady's attention.
"There he is." Thatch excitedly announces, reaching with his hand to Ace, signalling him to come faster. "This is my friend Ace – Ace this is Boa."
Leaving Ace, no choice but to shakes the girl's hand, he places the beers on the side of the pool table, before taking her hand in his to introduce himself. "I'm sorry if he's bothering you." He is quick to apologise.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Boa is far from Thatch's level. Tall, gorgeous, built like a model, who knows she might even be one, would never pay attention to a man like Thatch, who even for his forty something years still looks very good.
"Are you kidding me? Your friend here is so much fun." Boa gives Ace a small smirk before she turns back to Thatch. "So, you're saying you can beat me on pool?"
"Well darling, I'm not just saying it, I plan to prove it." Thatch returns the smirk, grabbing the cue stick from the table. "Would your friend mind?"
"No, she won't." Boa replies as she accepts Thatch's challenge and leans over the table to collect the pool balls. "You can play one game with her after I made your friend cry." She tells Ace while placing the balls in the triangle.
"Oh, Boa now you get me fired up." Thatch chuckles. "Where is your friend by the way?"
"Toilet. She'll be here any second now."
Hearing this Ace rolls his eyes a bit. The last thing he wants right now is to watch his friend playing billiards, while he must entertain Boa's friend.
Despite what people might think of Ace, usually being either a player or a guy who gets lot of attention from girls, he is the quite opposite. He is very selective. Yes, he might flirt here and there, but that's it. Neither he is a fan of one-night stands. Not like he hasn't had his fair share with them, but it isn't something he really is looking forward to, especially tonight.
Taking his beer from the pool table, Ace steps back and leans with his elbow on one of the side high tables. Pulling his phone from the back pocket of his jeans he starts scrolling, not paying much attention to his friend and the girl in front of him.
Coming back from the toilet and seeing your best friend playing billiards with some man made you sigh. 'Great, now I'll be third wheeling.' you can't help but think. It is not a surprise for you though. Boa has always had all eyes on her. Usually when you two go out, or with the rest of your friend group, men tend to go and try to hit on her first. They are never successful most of the time, so seeing this man who is obviously older than you two, playing with her is a bit of a surprise, but tonight is all about trying something new, right?
Walking next to her, you tap her on the shoulder, as she is waiting for the man to shoot his shot. Turning around to face you, a big smile places on her face. "Oh, there she is." She excitedly exclaims, catching the man's attention. "Thatch this is (Y/N), (Y/N) this is Thatch."
The man walks to you and gently shakes your hand. "Sorry for taking your place here."
You wave you hand to brush him off. "It's fine don't worry. I'm not even good at billiards." Cucking softly, you reply.
Coming next to you Boa places the palms of her hands on your shoulders as she leans closer to you with a smile. "Thatch here is not alone. He's here with a friend."
It takes all your willpower not to roll your eyes. Last thing you want to do tonight is wasting your time engaging in conversations with some forty years old man's friend. Faking a laughter and a smile you reply, "Oh, how nice."
"Hey, Ace come meet (Y/N)." Thatch calls out his friend's name. Turning your head to the direction where both Boa and the man are looking, at the same time a guy your age looks up from his phone and your gazes meet.
Strangle enough your heart skips a beat the moment your eyes lock. Getting up from the chair and putting his phone in his back pocket the guy takes a few steps and stands in front of you. He is tall, well built – muscular but not too much to a point where to question if he takes something to be built like this or not, raven black hair with dark brown eyes and freckles all over his cheeks, dressed in a simple white T-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, he is pretty good looking. A bit too good looking. You don't remember the last time you have found a guy this attractive from just one look at him.
Ace on the other hand is starstruck on his own. To be honest, he has imagined everything else, but a cute pretty face like yours. He thought that if Boa is this pretty there is no way that her friend could possibly be prettier, but he was wrong. Very wrong. Your eyes, your lips, your nose, the colour of your skin and the way the little black dress is hugging every inch of your curves makes his heart beat a bit faster than it should.
Clearing his throat, he reaches with his hand for yours. "Ace." Is all he says. In response he gets your name. Your hands staying a bit too long in a handshake. When the realisation hits you both you are quick to pull away.
This doesn't go unnoticed by neither Thatch nor Boa, but he is the first to speak. "You know, my boy Ace here is actually very good at playing pool, maybe he can teach you how to do it better."
"Are you Ace?" Boa turns to him with a smile as she hands him her cue stick. "Go ahead, please. She really needs someone to teach her a thing or two about billiards."
Shyness and awkwardness take over you in seconds. "N-no, it's fine." Turning to Ace you shake your head and pull your hands up a bit like a little kid who just got caught shoplifting a candy. "You don't need to do this, I-I'm a lost cause." An awkward chuckle leaves your lips. "Plus, they are not done with their game, right guys?" Turning to your friend and Thatch, you are met with disagreement from them.
"No, we're pretty done, right Thatch?" Boa smirks.
"Yes, I think we are. Wanna go out for some fresh air?" He totally ignores the looks Ace is giving him. In Thatch's mind his dear friend needs to get laid, and by the looks of it there has been an immediate spark between you two, so it will be a shame if you don't get some alone time to get to know each other.
Without wasting any second Boa agrees to Thatch's offer and before you and Ace can protest, they are out of your sigh.
An awkward silence takes over you both, despite the loud music and the people around you. Seeing how tense you are, Ace feels bad, so he decides to make the first move. Taking a step to you, he leans a bit closer so you can hear him better. "I'm sorry about him. I told him to not bother you or your friend."
This closure gives you goosebumps, so you take one step away before you turn to face him. "No, please, no one is bothering anyone. He seems nice."
"He is, but if you want us gone, let me know." Winking at you, he walks to the pool table with the cue stick in hand. "Wanna play one round while they are out?"
Biting on your lower lip, you nod. "Sure, why not? But keep in mind I'm very bad at it." Grabbing the other cue stick while he is rearranging the balls in the triangle, you shyly walk closer to him.
"Nice." Ace says more to himself than to you as he removes the triangle and turns to you with a charming smile. "Wanna go first and break them?" Taking his cue stick again he goes to the other side of the table to look for the chalk. Finding it, he walks back and gives it to you.
Taking it from his hand you thank him before applying it to the tip off your cue stick. Leaning your body and positioning your fingers to stable the stick in your hand better on the pool table, you take a deep breath before hitting the white ball in the middle. It rolls and hits the rest of the balls, but they barely move.
Scrunching your face from embarrassment you turn to Ace. "Told you, I'm bad at it."
"Nah, it was good. All you need is a little bit more force." Instead of going for his turn he takes all the balls again and puts them for a start break. "Go on, just a little bit more force."
Doing the exact same thing, but with a little bit more force now, this time when you break more than a few balls move. Sadly, none of them roll to one of the pockets in the table so now it is Ace's turn.
From his first hit he manages to get one of the balls in one of the side pockets. After it he gets two more balls in before missing and it is again your turn.
This goes back and forth a few times, none of you speaking much, until the game is finished and of course, he wins.
Ace wants to engage in a conversation with you, he really does, but he can clearly see how tens you are, almost like you are uncomfortable around him as you keep your distance like you want to run away, which makes him a bit sad, but who knows maybe you have a boyfriend or you just don't feel attracted to him at all. Your distance has grown even bigger after he has asked you to help you fix your posture while you were about to make your move, to which you give permission to him to touch you.
You on the other hand are still on fire after that touch from him. The way he has gently placed his hands on the back of your shoulders to straighten them and then the way he wrapped his fingers around your hand, moving your arms with his to make the hit. The feeling of his touch on your bare skin made you feel something you haven't experience in a long time, and you can't be sure if it is because of the alcohol or the effect this charming stranger has on you, but for some reason you could feel how your body temperature has risen up.
That is why, you create a bit of a space between you two, which for some weird reason does feel wrong. You want to speak with him, but there is this pressure in you, this feeling of anxiety that is slowly creeping up that you will mess things up, so maybe is better to now say anything at all. But saying nothing also feels wrong.
Building all the courage you can built in a span of a second you turn to him with a small smile, your fingers immediately find their way to the edge of one of your hair strands and start playing with it.
Clearing your throat to catch his attention better you finally speak up. "So, Ace – what brings you here tonight?" Leaning the back of your lower body on the pool table, your head is turned to him as you observe him.
This question takes him by surprise. So far all you have talked about was billiard or how bad you are playing it, nothing too personal. Leaving the cue stick on the pool table, he walks closer to you, half charming smile on his face as he leans with one hand on the table next to you. "Let's say little promotion from work. What about you?"
"It's Boa's birthday." You reply shortly, you breath caught up in your lungs from how close he is standing next to you. Giving him a quick glance before you look away, you shoot another question. "W-what do you do for work?"
"I'm a firefighter." His response catches your attention quickly.
"Wow, really? That's amazing and so brave." Letting go of your hair now your eyes are on his. "What made you become one?"
"It was a mixture of a few things." He replies, a bit more focused on your face, for whatever reason trying to memories every spot or line there is on. "I've always love helping people, but I also love adrenaline rush, so this sounded like the best opportunity a few years ago."
This sounds a bit familiar to you or the you, you used to be like. You still help people as much as you can if you are being asked to, but the adrenaline part? It has been years since you have done something spontaneous or crazy. "So, you're a bit of adrenaline junkie?" You chuckle with a little playful smile which you don't realize has appeared on your face, but Ace catches it immediately.
"Maybe a bit too much sometimes." He smirks, crossing his hands over his muscular chest, he nods at you. "What about you?"
"What about me?" You awkwardly laugh, not sure if he asks about your job or if you are adrenaline chaser like him.
Ace can't help but laugh a bit. He has notice that the moment the attention is turned towards you, you froze, which is in a way adorable, but it also made him wonder if he is the reason why you are so tens, or this is how you are usually. "Are you an adrenaline junkie, silly?"
You can feel the heat rushing to your face when he calls you 'silly'. It is something in the way he says it, so unintentionally playful, yet made you feel like you are sixteen again. "No, I'm not." You say with a shake of your head. "Used to be, but not anymore."
The slight change of your tone doesn't go unnoticed by Ace, for which he decides to test his luck and see if he can play around this. "So, there is a wild girl hidden somewhere behind the shy one I'm speaking to right now?"
He is smooth, you give him that. Biting on your lower lip you shyly shrug. "Yea, maybe."
Nodding his head, Ace can feel that he is slowly starting to make you relax. After all you haven't broken eye contact with him for a while now, so this is a good sign. "What can I do to get a glimpse of this wild side of yours?"
"What can you do, huh?" Laughing at his question you place two fingers under your chin, acting like you are trying to think of something before you answer him. "Hmm, maybe if you have a time machine and you meet me back in college then you will definitely have a glimpse of wild me."
Clicking with his tongue he raises one brow at you. "Okay, which collage you went to, so I know where to go to?" Telling him the name of the college you went to makes his brows raise in surprise. "No way. Me too. Which year?" You tell him the year you started and graduated making him snort. "What a coincidence. Me too, but I dropped off after a year or so."
You are as surprise as he is. Sure, your college was pretty big, but there is no way you two have never crossed paths before. You are sure you would have noticed him, after all he is quite the charm. "What program were you in?"
"Something about social studies. To be honest I don't remember anymore." Shrugging he brushes off the subject, as to him it doesn't really matter. "This means you must be twenty-seven? Twenty-eight?"
"Twenty-seven." You nod with a smile. "You?"
"Twenty-seven." He returns the smile.
Ace is about to ask you something more when he gets interrupted by your friend Boa and Thatch, who comes after her with four shots in hand. "Hey, there you two." Boa says as she wraps her arms around you. "How did your game go?"
"He beat me." You quickly reply, looking at Ace from under your lashes as he gives you a little wink.
"She almost got me though." Even though he is speaking to Boa, his eyes don't leave yours.
"Guess we can take over next?" Thatch comes in between you three giving every single one of you a glass of shot in hand.
Bringing the glass to your nose to smell what's in it, your face scrunches from the smell. "What is this?" You look at your friend with disgust.
"I don't know." She shrugs. "We just told the bartender to make something strong and... well, strong."
Taking a step closer to you, Ace leans and whispers in your ear. "You don't need to drink it if you don't want to."
Before you can answer, Boa interrupts having guessed what Ace might have told you, she points her finger at him warningly. "Oh, she must. This one needs this drink more than any of us here." Moving her finger in your direction she commands you to drink.
"Thank you for trying." You tell Ace as you raise you glass to your lips and drink whatever is in the glass. Boa and Thatch follow, leaving Ace no choice but to do the same.
Whatever was in this shot, it is now burning your insides. "God, I need water." You say more to yourself than anyone else.
"Come with me." Ace tells you, taking your hand in his as he leads the way to the bar where they have water.
To your surprise, you don't feel as tens as you used to a like ten-twenty minutes ago. He somehow managed to build a bit of a trust in you, so having your hand in his, letting him lead you somewhere, doesn't feel alarming at all. It feels okay. It feels like you can trust him.
Reaching the end of the bar where the water station is place, Ace pours a glass of water and hands it to you, but to do this he has let go of your hand, which you wish he could hold for a little longer. Thanking him you take the glass from his hand and quickly drown the glass.
"Are you okay?" His voice sounds calm, but also concern for you, and you can see the same thing in his eyes.
"Yes, I'm. Thank you for asking." Putting the empty glass to the side you give him a small smile.
"You know if you don't want to do something you can always say no." He doesn't like the way your friend forced you to drink the shot, leaving you no choice when you obviously didn't want to drink.
"I know. Don't worry." You are not sure what made you do this, it is probably the alcohol, but you reached for his hand and gently squeezed it. "She did it out of love, believe me."
Ace is a bit too shocked by your action to acknowledge what you have just said to him. Part of him feels like he is a teenager again. All you have done is take his hand in your and give it a little squeeze, yet this simple gesture made his whole-body freeze.
Whatever was in this shot it starts to kick in. Your eyes are all focused on his hand. His skin is surprisingly soft, the palm of his hand is big, his fingers long and running your eyes up him arm, you can see the way his muscles are flexed, freckles here and there. "You know, if they are going to play now, I don't really want to stand and watch, mostly because my feet are killing me in these heels." Finally looking up to meet his eyes you give him a curious look. "What were you guys doing before joining us?"
Swallowing hard, trying to keep his cool, trying to ignore the way your fingers play with his, he gives you a short answer. "We played cards."
Your eyes lit up when you hear this. "Really? I love playing cards! What game did you play?"
"Poker."
"Wanna play?" You ask him with playful flame light up in your eyes.
Raising his eyebrows in surprise Ace smirks. "You know how to?"
"Maybe." Returning the smirk, you trace your finger on the back of his hand. "Play with me and you'll find out."
You are drunk. There is no way that the shy girl a few minutes ago and this new playfully version of her now are the same person if there isn't alcohol involved. Or maybe this girl is there all the time, hidden behind many layers of who knows what, but Ace is not going to back down now, when he is finally catching this glimpse of you.
"You want me to play with you, huh?" He can't help but tease you. Biting on your lower lip you slowly nod. "Alright pretty girl. I'll play with you." Nodding slowly, he smirks. Looking down at where your fingers are tracing up and down his forearm, he gently grabs it and pulls you closer to him.
This action itself makes you instinctively put your other hand on his chest. His chest feels exactly how it looks – defined and muscular. Looking at him from under your lashes your breath gets caught up in your lungs, and he has caused this to you how many times tonight? Two? Three? More?
Leaning closer to whisper in your ear, as even with your heels on he is still a bit taller than you, the way his breath tickles your skin gives you goosebumps. "What do we bet on then?" Pulling away to look at your eyes, a cocky smirk grows bigger in his face. "I mean, what do I get after I win?"
Faking a dramatic gasp, you take a small step back, pulling your hands away from him and crossing them over your chest. "What makes you think you'll win?"
Hearing the playfulness in your voice, Ace chuckles. "Just a feeling." He shrugs.
"What do you want then?" One of the tables next to where you two are standing gets available and you point with your head towards it, indicating to Ace to follow you there. Taking a seat facing each other you still await his answer. "Come on, tell me. What do you win... if you win." You say, matching his coy smile.
"If I win, and I will." He says. "I want you to show me more of this wild girl, you mentioned earlier."
Sober you would have back off from such bet. Hell, sober you probably wouldn't have the courage to go this far into a conversation with some man you have just met, despite how charming the stranger is. But sober you is long gone, and after all tonight is all about trying something different, so why not?
"And what if I win?" You raise one brow challenging.
"Whatever you want sweetheart."
Trying to ignore the nickname and how charming and smooth he can be, you look away for a moment to think what you would possibly want from him, but nothing is coming up in your mind. "I'm not sure, but I can decide once I beat you. Deal?"
Reaching with your hand across the table for a handshake to seal the deal, he takes your hand in his and give it a strong, but still delicate squeeze. "Deal."
"Go on, bring out the cards." You say, making the pupils of his eyes widen as he realises that they are in fact not with him.
"Um, give me a second and I'll be back." Getting up quickly from the chair he stops for a second and turns back to you before he makes his way to where Boa and his friend play billiards. "Do you want something to drink?"
You are not sure if drinking is the best idea, but why not? Why not get loose for one night? Nodding you tell him what to get you and he tells you to wait for him.
It is hard to explain how you are feeling currently. You are all over the place. You are excited, you feel energetic, you feel flirty, playfully; yet you also feel a bit anxious and stiff, but despite all this you feel good. You are having a great time, and you feel good. Right now, you are not sure if you are subconsciously faking it until you make it, but you are content. Plus, the company you have found tonight is quite enjoyable.
You are not sure how many minutes have passed since Ace has gone away, but he is back, which makes you turn all your attention to him. Placing your drink in front of you, you thank him.
Pulling up the cards he starts to shuffle the cards. "Since we aren't betting on money, should we play it three out of five?" Setting up the cards in front of you and then him he awaits on your answer.
"Sure." You reply with a confident coy smile.
Three out of five, turns to five out of eight. Five out of eight turns to eight out of ten. Eight out of ten wins turns into you two loosing tracks of time to a point where both your friends come to you to check if you want to leave but you tell them to leave you, because you are not done yet.
At first Boa wasn't very convinced in leaving you with Ace, but it was the spark in your eyes that she hasn't seen in a long time that made her wish you a good night and to text her once you are home.
You are totally lost in the moment with Ace. He is fun, he is charming, he is silly, he is so easy to be around. And also, he feels safe to be around. For whatever strange reason you trust him.
"Accept it, Ace." You giggle as you win yet another hand.
Running a hand through his messy black hair, he holds his head with the palms of his hands. "You have to be kidding me." Looking up at you with a big smile on his face he finally gives in. "Fine. You win." Taking his glass of beer, he raises it to give you cheers.
Drinking the last sips of your drinks you place your elbows on the table leaning closer to him. "So now what?" The tone in your vice is a mixture of playfulness and genuine curiosity. You don't want to say goodbye to him, not yet, but due to how empty the bar is starting to look, you are guessing that soon they are closing.
"You're the winner. We do as you wish." Mimicking your actions, he leans closer to you as well. His eyes focused on your lips. Your lipstick long gone, but your lips still look as alluring as he first saw you. It takes him all his willpower to withhold himself from grabbing your chin and pull you closer to himself to capture the taste, the feeling of having your lips on his.
You see and feel the way he is looking at you. The way he is looking at your lips. The way there is a new kind of light in his eyes, causing the sparkling of the same energy to start burn into you.
"I don't want to go home yet." The words leave you before you can process or stop them.
"Wanna come over to my place?" Ace, despite how drunk he is himself at this point, is aware of the risk how this might push you away, but something in him is telling that it is now or never.
At this point you are not sure if it is the alcohol, his company or the burning feeling of your skin that makes you slowly nod, eyes more focused on his lips now than his eyes. Eager to taste the feeling of his lips on yours.
How you have gotten to his apartment is a bit of a fog in your mind. All you remember is that you have called a cab and now you are at his place. His lips finally on yours. They feel exactly like you imagined them to be – full, soft and very skilful. You don't remember the last time being kiss with so much passion and desire. It has been years.
But right now, caged between his hard muscular body and the door of his bedroom all your drunken mind can focus on is his burning kisses and his hands roaming around your waist and hips.
Ace is drunken by the taste of you. He feels like he can spend hours just covering you in kisses. You taste like the sweetest fruit he has ever tasted, despite all the alcohol you both have consumed.
Hearing your quiet and desperate whispers and moan drives him crazy. Finally allowing himself, he lifts the edges of your dress up to your waist and grabs a handful of your ass, squeezing it, causing a loud moan to leave your lips. "Fuck, you're so hot." He whispers against your lips as he slowly starts making his way down from your jawline, slowly trailing kisses down to your neck and collarbones.
Tracing his hands up to your waist and back he finds the zipper of your dress. He slowly unzips your dress despite his eagerness to trace the rest of your body with his lips.
With the dress off your body, you are left in nothing but your black stockings and underwear. Taking his sweet time observing every curve of your body he gets on his knees and start tracing kisses around your tummy, while slowly running his hands up and down your hips.
You are barely standing on your legs. If it isn't for the support of the door behind you and the way Ace has your body pinned you would have probably already melted on the floor. The wetness between your legs grows with every passing second and you are not sure how much more you can take from his teasing.
It is like he has read your mind as he traces his finger on the waistband of your stockings, slowly slitting his index fingers on each side of your waist and taking them down. With the stockings finally off, he takes one of your legs in his hands and places it on his shoulder while holding you with his other hand steady around the waist. Running his fingers agonisingly slowly to you calf up to the outside part of your thigh, he trails the tip of his nose along the skin of your inner thigh, making you arch your back from the feeling of his breath there.
"God, your skin is so soft." He says placing kisses on your inner thigh after every word. "You smell so good, baby girl." Giving you a harsh squeeze on the thigh he softly bites on it, making you hiss from the mixture of pain and pleasure.
With tremble in your voice, you finally manage to say something. "Please."
Looking up at you and meeting your pleading eyes, Ace lets go of your thigh and gets up on his feet. "Please what, baby?" Hints of teasingly mocking in his tone. Placing his hands on your waist he buried his head in the crook of your neck, leaving small kisses all over it.
Nothing but soft whines and whispers leave your lips, making Ace smile against the skin of your neck. "Come on, say it. Show me how much of a wild girl you can be." Lifting his head from the crook of your neck, your eyes meet.
Finally, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him in a passionate hot kiss. Running your fingers all over his broad muscular shoulders up to his messy locks. This man has unlocked something in you tonight that you have thought you have lost long time ago – your passion, your sexuality, your desire.
Breaking the kiss, you lock eyes with his. Your chest raising up and down, your heart beating fast as you try to catch your breath and make up your mind. "Please, fuck me." You whisper. "Fuck me like I've never been fucked before."
Ace doesn't need to be told twice. He lifts you up in his arms, your legs wrapped around his torso, while he carries you to his bed. Laying you down on it he finally takes off his T-shirt, making you realise that he has been dress the entire time until now.
Now with his shirt off, despite the darkness in the room and the only source of light being from the streetlights coming from outside the window, you get to finally not just feel but see his define toned up muscle body. You push yourself a bit with one hand on the bed to lift your body up so you can reach up better and trace your fingers from the top of his chest all the way down to his tone up abdomen and happy trail.
His skin is soft, from what the light allows you to see, you notice that he has quite lot of freckles spread across the top of his chest and shoulders mostly.
Pushing you to lay down on the bed he hovers over you and lock your lips in another passionate messy kiss. Reaching down to his jeans, you finally find the belt buckle. Feeling you struggling with unbuckling it, Ace pulls away from the kiss and take it off together with his jeans, leaving only his boxers on, which seems to grow tighter with each second.
You can't help but bite your lip from the sign of the outline of his cock, hidden behind the tight material of his boxers. With the tips of your fingers, you trace down a path starting from the top of his happy trail to the outline of the tip of his member, following down the covered length.
This action alone makes Ace flex his abs and buckles his hips towards your hand, a hiss of pleasure leaving his lips. Hearing the sound of pleasure leaving his lips, this gives you the confidence to continue by stroking his member over his underwear.
"Oh yeah, baby girl. Just like that." Throwing his head back, Ace close his eyes from the pleasure, making you give him one stronger squeeze, causing him to moan. He is melting in your hand and you are not even touching him properly but over his still covered dick.
Seeing how much effect you have on him, you raise your body a bit to pull him closer to you with your free hand and he follows. Without giving him any time, you start covering his neck with kisses.
Despite all the distractions from you, Ace's hands make their way behind your back and unclamp your bralet, tossing it to the side without a care. Pulling away from you he shamelessly stares at your naked breast. "Fuck." He breathes out, tracing with the top of his fingertip on the soft squishy outline of your chest making his way to your already hard nipples, barely touching while circulating his finger around, giving you sweet agonising pleasure.
You pull your hand away from his cock, letting your hands trace over his back muscles. The feeling of him on top of you making you crazy, while he covers your chest with kisses and softly punches one of your hard nipples. A gaps leaves your lips as he finally takes your other breast in hand and gives it a squeeze before wrapping his lips around your nipple, sucking on it, making your back arch.
"God, fuck me already." You whine under him, hands buried in his hair, pulling it a bit.
Letting go of your nipple, he gives it one last kiss before he looks at you. "Oh baby girl, I'm not a God, but your prayer will be heard." He chuckles with a smirk, hands going down to your panties. Hooking in two fingers on the waistband of the lacy material he takes them off, leaving you in nothing. Ace places his hands on your ankles, slowly moving them up to your knees, where he spreads them apart, making you all exposed to him.
Your chest is going up and down, heart beating fast as he places himself between your spread legs and hovering over you, with one hand holding himself up to not crush you and the other tracing up your thigh slowly reaching your dripping cunt.
"You're dripping wet, baby girl." His voice has gotten a bit raspier as he whispers in your ear, his hand now covering your pussy. Sliding his middle finger in between your lips to spread you apart you both share a moan of pleasure – you of the feeling of him finally touching you where you wanted him the most, and he from all the wetness and warmth he feels from your pussy.
Running his finger up and down, teasing your clit and entrance, Ace finally enters your burning hole with it slowly, giving you time to adjust despite how wet you are, and then he slowly start to move it, trying to find that sweet spot in you, while his thumb is on your clit, rubbing and playing with it.
The moment he curls up his finger and finds that sweet spot in you, you are turned into a hot mess under him. "More, fuck." A loud moan escapes you. "More, Ace. Please."
Sliding a second finger into you, Ace smirks as he traces sloppy wet kisses along your neck up to your ear, biting the soft part of it. "You greedy little thing, aren't you?" He teases you, increasing the peace of his fingers.
"Yes. Fuck yes, I am." You breathe out, body arching as you feel the sweet burning sensation of release forming in the bottom of your belly. "Please, don't stop now."
Mocking laughter comes from Ace as he takes one look at your face, your eyes barely open, lips parted. "You're close, aren't you baby?" He coos, moving aside a strand of your hair that has fallen over your face. Whining and nodding at him, he just chuckles at you. "Then don't hold back, baby girl. Because I don't plan to fuck you properly until I make you cum at least once before that."
He doesn't need to tell you twice, nor it would have mattered as your first wave of pleasure and release hits, and you are falling into pieces under him. Your gummy walls squeezing hard around his fingers, coating him with your pussy juices. You're a mess under him and Ace loves it. "Yes, baby girl - that's it. Let it all out." He says as he continues to finger you not cutting off your pleasure and he doesn't stop until he sees you calming down a bit from your high.
Removing his hand from you, he unapologetically takes his fingers in his mouth and licks them clean. "Damn, baby. You taste so good." He tells you as he pulls away from you to reach out to the nightstand next to the bed. Opening the first drawer Ace grabs the first condom he sees and takes it. Getting up from the bed he finally takes down his boxers, the feeling of release hitting his bare skin.
He is not sure if his dick has been this hard ever before, but it doesn't matter, because he is finally going to fuck you, and he plans to do it good. Ripping open the condom package he takes it out and slides it on his length. Getting back on the bed and nestling himself between your legs, he props his hands on each side of your head.
"Are you ready for one more?" He smirks, moving one of his hands away to guide the tip of his dick to your entrance.
Spreading your legs a bit more you are aching to finally feel him inside of you. If he has made you seeing starts just with his fingers you hope, he can do the same with his dick.
You have felt how big he is when you tease him earlier, but now with him slowly entering you, inch by inch, stretching you open for him with the just the tip of his dick, it makes you roll your eyes in ungodly pleasure mixed with a bit of a pain.
"Fuck! You feel so good." Ace moans throwing his head back from pleasure once he gets all of him inside you. Your gummy walls wrapped around him in a tight warm grip. Noticing that you need some time to adjust on having all of him inside of you he places some kisses across your collarbones. "Tell me when you ready, baby."
Wrapping your arms around his neck you just nod, giving him the permission to move. He doesn't need to be told twice. Slowly, but hard Ace starts to rock his hips, moving steady in and out of you.
"Don't go all nice on me now, Ace." You grab his hair and pull his head up to make him look at you. "Fuck me."
Freezing on top of you, he grabs your hand away making you let go of his hair as he stands on his knees, his body towering over yours. "I tried to be nice remember this." He tells you before he grabs your hips pulling you even closer to him as he puts them on his shoulders. Now with your waist arch he gets a better access to your ass and gives it a hard smack, before he starts slamming into you.
His thrusts are fast and hard – exactly how you like it. His dick hitting all the right spots in you while his hands are gripping your waist strongly, keeping you in place. Seeing how much you enjoyed the slap on your ass, he does it one more time, causing you to scream his name with pleasure and your pussy squeezing around him. But your pleasure is quickly cut as he pulls away from you and your needy cunt.
"Fuck no." He curses grabbing his hair with both hands in frustration. The condom has broken. Reaching to his nightstand to search for another one he can't find any. Taking the broken condom off him he throws it to the side. Looking back at you and the confused look you have on your pretty face, your naked body spread across his bed, your pussy covered in your juices squeezing around nothing missing his dick he makes a quick choice one he hopes he won't regret later.
Grabbing your face in both of his hands he gives you a sweet sloppy kiss on the lips. Tracing his hand down on your body to your clit he starts to play with it. "The condom broke. Please, tell me you're on a pill."
You heard nothing from what he says. All you can focus on right now is how good is he making you feel, which leads to your response being a moan, which Ace overhears for a yes – yes, you are on a pill.
Instead of getting to continue with what he has been doing, Ace tells you to turn around on your belly and lift your ass as high as you can. Doing exactly what he has told you, you embrace yourself with what is coming. The feeling of his dick until now in you has been a bit painful, but in this position, you in all fours, he is going to abuse the life out of your pussy.
Seeing the red mark formed on your ass cheek from before Ace can't help but slaps you once more, watching the way your ass juggles from the impact of his slap. Guiding his dick to your entrance he taps it a few times with the tip, causing you to buckle your hips at him, begging him without words to fill you up with himself.
Sliding his dick in, both of you share a moan from the new sensation, the feeling like you have never been this close to anyone before is driving you both mad. Grabbing a handful of your hair, Ace pulls it, making you arch even more. "Now be a nice bitch and take it as the good girl you are." He hisses with pleasure as he starts to rock his hips in and out of you unapologetically hard and fast.
You are a mess of pleasure and moans. The last time you have had sex was more than a year ago, maybe even a year and a half, and it wasn't even good. But this man, right here and right now is literally rocking your world and you are willing to take every inch he has as long as the pleasure never leaves you.
Pulling your hair to get you closer to him as he leans to you, he whisperers in your ear. "You like being fuck like this don't you? Like a little slut ready to take every inch I give to her." In response you moan, but he wants more. "No, no, no. Use your words baby girl."
"Yes, yes Ace." You say, your voice almost breaking. "I'll take all of you, just don't stop." Letting go of your hair he pushes your head back to the pillows.
Your pussy is squeezing and dripping all around him, making a mess on the bed and you haven't even cum yet, but he feels like you are close, very close and he himself is not far away from his own pique.
The feeling of your second orgasm for the night starts to build up. That same feeling he has made you feel earlier is coming back – the trembling in your legs, the heat in your lower belly, all of this is coming back but stronger.
One more smack on your red ass cheek follow by a hard thrust is all what is needed to send you to the edge. You cum all over his dick, your cunt squeezing around him hard, so hard that before he can stop himself and pull out, Ace is cumming inside of you. Coating your walls white with his hot cum.
It takes some time for both of you to calm down. After collecting his breath Ace finally pulls out of you, watching your little sweet pussy leaks some of his cum mixed with your own.
Leaning over your limp body he gives you a kiss on the shoulder. "Are you okay?" He softly asks.
You are not sure if you are here on planet Earth or somewhere far away in the galaxy. You have never been fucked like this. You hear Ace asking you something, but you are too wasted and tired to answer, all you can do is just look at him.
"Hey, please tell me." He pleads with a soft tone. It's obviously that you are exhausted, but he needs to know if you are okay, if he has been too harsh with you or not. "Was it too much? Are you hurt?"
Hearing the worry in his voice you try your best to answer him. "Don't worry Ace, I'm fine. You're fine. We're fine. Let's go to sleep now." You tell him with a sleepy voice and very heavy eyelids, but with a satisfy smile across your face.
Seeing your sweet smile as you turn around on your back, gives him the peace and the satisfaction that you are in fact okay and obviously pleased. "Give me a sec. I need to clean us both." He winks at you, but you don't see it as your eyes are already closing and you are already asleep by the time he comes with a warm wet towel to clean the mess you to just made.
-
The sunlight coming from the open curtain of the window irritates you. Scrunching your nose and squeezing your eyes shut as you try your best to remain asleep and ignore the irritation. Giving up, you finally open one eye. You almost never forget to put the blinds down, how drunk have you been last night to forget it?
Lifting just your head, dizziness hits you up like a truck, making you grab your head and squeeze it. A groan leaves your lips. You haven't felt like this in a very, very long time. Your mouth is dry, and you are extremely thirsty. Giving yourself some time to adjust to the light and the heavy feeling in your head, you blink a few times. Something is wrong.
Raising one eyebrow you wonder since when the ceiling in your bedroom has turn white? Are you still drunk? Running one hand over your face you look to your right side. Instead of seeing the door to your bathroom you are met with a big dark oak chest of drawers and a lot of basketball and rock bands posters on the wall.
The moment you realise you are not home, and in fact that you are in somebody else's apartment, you freeze. "Fuck." You quietly curse yourself. Slowly you move your eyes down to your body, wrapped up in dark blue light covers. You can feel that your body is bare, but you hope that you are wrong and when you look under the covers you will find yourself dressed in your little black dress. Sneaking a peak under the covers, you gasp. You are as bare as the day your mother gave birth to you.
Your internal panic is interrupted by a little shift of the covers next to you. The memories of last night hits you like a truck. The guy you met in the bar with Boa, and then staying with him to play poker, and then going with him to his place and you two having sex; all of this comes at once.
You withdraw a deep breath and stop breathing. What do you do now? Is he awake? You hope he isn't.
Allowing yourself to breath again, you slowly turn your head to the left, eyes squeezed tight, afraid to open them. Counting to three in your mind, you slightly open one eye and thank whatever power is out there that he is still asleep and his head is turned to the other side, and you are met with nothing else but his messy dark locks.
You need to think fast and stop panicking. Whatever has happened happen. Now you need to get out of here before he wakes up.
Taking the covers off from you, you slowly slide you right leg to the floor, making sure that your movements are as quiet and quick as possible. Once you feel the wooden floor on the tip of your toes, you lift your body with one hand and get up from the bed, almost loosing your balance and tripping on the ground you managed to stay still.
Cursing yourself one more time as the headache hits, you grab your head but remind yourself that there is no time for this. You have stepped on something soft. Looking down you sigh in relief. It is your bra. One out of three, no five of your items found. Putting it on quickly and tiptoeing around the room, the next thing you come upon is your dress. With one quick swift move you put it on your body and finally you don't feel so exposed. Walking to the other side to the bed your eyes land on your stockings and purse right next to the door. Four out of five found now what is left is your panties.
Where the hell could he possible thrown them? Walking to the door to pick your stockings and purse you turn around to make sure that he is still asleep and thankfully he still is.
You can't help but stare at his sleeping form. He is cute. Laying on his belly, both hands wrapped tightly around the pillow, slow steady breaths leaving his slightly open mouth, some of his dark locks falling over his face.
Part of you wishes you haven't slept with him, that way maybe you two could have been friends or something, but now you must remind strangers.
Looking down your eyes spot your panties. Right next to his side of the bed. Right next to the bed. But what is next to your panties makes your eyes widen. A condom. Obviously a used one. You are happy to know that you two have used protection so there is one last thing for you to worry about, but couldn't he throw it away in a bin or something? Scrunching your face in disgust you look away.
You have two options – tiptoeing to there, maybe risking waking him up, but grab them, or just turning around open the door and run. The decision is taken fast. With one swift and quick move you are out of his bedroom, leaving your panties behind. A parting gift goodbye for the great time you had last night some might say.
Leaving his bedroom, you find yourself in the living room and from there it doesn't take you long to find the entrance door. There you also found your heels. Putting them on, you quickly leave the place. Running down the stairs and then outside the street, as fast as you can considering the fact that you are wearing twelve centimetres heels.
After three or four streets away from his place, you finally stop to catch your breath. Your heart is beating fast. You still can't believe what have you done. Laughter starts building up in you and soon you find yourself laughing loudly. You can't believe what you have done – in the best way possible.
You feel alive. You feel you. The you, you have been once. The you, you have missed so much.
With trembling hands, you pull your phone from your purse. You barely have any battery left and a lot of missed calls and text, mostly from your best friend Boa. Looking around you see a taxi passing by, so you raise your hand to stop it. Getting in the backseat of the cab, you tell the driver your address.
With the remaining life of your phone's battery, you call Boa. She should be leaving for the airport soon. She picks up almost immediately.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been texting and calling like crazy? Are you okay?" She doesn't even bother to say 'hello' or 'good morning', she is straight to the point as usual.
Clearing your throat your response. "Sorry. I'm fine, just... lost track of time."
"Lost track of time? Really?" She snorts mockingly. "Did you just get up? Your voice sounds so raspy. And why are you talking so quietly? Oh my, are you not alone?" If only you could see her face right now. It is all lighten up with curiosity.
Looking at the front mirror making sure that the driver is focused on the road and not on your phone call you quietly answer. "I'm on my way home, in a cab." As much as you are a bit ashamed, you are also a bit euphoric. A small smile forming at the edges of your mouth.
The gaps from the other end of the phone is loud. "Did you sleep with him?"
Even thought she can't see you; you nod while humming in response, a little giggle escaping your lips. "Yes. Yes, I did."
"You slut." Boa screams in the phone, giggling with you and sharing your euphonical feeling. "How was it? I want all the details. Was it good or bad? You know it doesn't matter. What is important here is that after what – two years, you finally got laid." You start laughing at the overly excitement of your friend over you sleeping with a guy. "Don't laugh. Tell me. Now." She demands.
"Well, I can't right now." You mumble, glancing at the driver. "But all I can tell you right now is-" Lowering your voice even more you whisper in the phone. "Two times, Boa. He made me finish two times."
The memories of the charming stranger fucking you last night comes to your mind like a vivid picture, making your pussy squeeze itself, causing you pain, a sweet aching reminder of how good he has made you felt.
"Two times? Two real orgasms? Like real real?" Boa is in shock from what she has heard.
"Real real." You repeat.
"Wow. I'm speechless. He didn't give me the vibes of a guy who know how to fuck." She chuckles.
A bit surprised by what you have heard, you ask in between giggles. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know." She laughs. "I felt like he would be one of those guys who just stick it and move it you know, no beat, no rhythm, no nothing."
"Yes, I get what you mean, but no." You can feel the blood rushing to your face. "He was very rhythmic with both hands and, well... you know."
"Lucky you. I'm so happy for you, you have no idea." She tells you. "When are you two meeting again?"
"Yeah, about that." You withdraw your breath with a hiss. "I ran away before he wakes up."
"You did what?" Boa screams.
"Come on, Boa. You know how I'm currently. Last thing I need is a guy in my life." You murmur a bit sad, the reality slowly coming to you as you remind yourself that you just had one good night, but one night like this doesn't chance your current life.
"You don't need to date him or anything like this." You can't see her, but you can feel over the phone the roll her eyes make. "You can use him for a booty call. Your personal sex toy." She whistles.
"We didn't exchange any contacts."
"Oh my, you're a lost case." She sighs. "Anyway, at least you got laid pretty good. But want more details."
"When you come back, I'll tell you." Running a hand over your face, you lean your head on the backseat.
"But this is in like a week or so." She whines. "You know what? Fine. When I come back. I need to get to the airport anyway, but one last thing before we hang up." She tells you know in more serious tone. "Go and buy a plan B."
"We used protection." Rolling your eyes and clicking with your tongue, a makeshift of a hum and laughter leaves your lips.
"Better safe than sorry." You friend replies.
***
"Better safe than sorry." The words of your best friend repeat in your mind like a broken record. You still can't believe that all three-pregnancy test are positive.
How? How did this happen? You two have used a condom. You saw it with your own eyes. Did the condom break? It must have. But still, it is your fault for not taking extra precautions. You shouldn't have forgotten to take the plan B when you should have taken it.
None of these matters now. You are pregnant. You are pregnant and it's your fault – partially. It is the guy's fault as much as it is yours. How could he have finish in you? Was he out of his mind when this happen?
Being pregnant right now is not the worst thing around this situation. The worst thing is that you have no idea how to contact or find him. All you know about him is ... his name and if you remember correctly, he is a firefighter. But that is all. You don't remember where he lives, you don't know how usually he goes to the bar you two met at nor you remember where the hell this place is, you basically know nothing about this man except that you are knocked up by him.
"Good job (Y/N). Now what?" You ask yourself.
Now you need to find your baby daddy. No, now you need to decide if you are going to keep the baby, so maybe you don't need to worry about finding the dad, right?
Chapter 2: Chapter II | The Dot
Notes:
Thank you all for your patience. Thank you also for all the love you showed when I put out chapter one.
I know that this chapter is short, but it’s mainly focused of Reader, but next one will be longer.
Thank you for reading my stories and being patient with me, more yapping in the end note - enjoy ♡
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It has been two days since you found out that you are pregnant and you haven’t told anybody yet. Not even your best friend Boa. You have tried everything in your power in the past two days to ignore everyone and everything in desperate attempts to collect and make up your mind.
You know what the best solution for this “little” accident is, but you aren’t a hundred percent sure that you want to do this. At least not alone.
Walking back and forth around your apartment you try to calm yourself down. In an hour you are going for a brunch with Boa and Marguerite, and you are planning to tell them about the little problem you have.
On top of this mess, you are also in an internal battle with yourself. Should you find your baby daddy? If you are going to abort it, should you let him know? He has the right to know, but… what if he turns out to be pro-lifer? Not like he will stop you from aborting it if you decide to go with this option, but what happens if you find him, tell him and he wants you to keep it? Or worse – what if you decide to keep it and he doesn’t want it? Are you ready for the single mom life? Will you manage as a single mother?
All these questions have been stuck to your mind on repeat in the past two days and if you don’t speak with someone soon you are going to lose it. That is why you need to share the “exciting” news with your friends and hear their opinion on the matter. They should think more clearly than you are therefore they might give you the answers you are looking for.
And if they don’t, tomorrow you have your weekly session with your therapist Nico Robin, she must provide the best advice you will need. You hope.
Dressed up in a pair of dark flare jeans with tight button up white shirt, you put on some jewelleries before taking one last look at yourself before heading to leave your place. Putting on a pair of red kitten high-heels and reaching out for the matching red handbag you lock your place and make your way to the brunch spot Boa has reserved.
To ease up your very calm nerves, the universe, of course it is on your side, decides to stick you up in the traffic jam. Reaching for your phone you send a quick message to your group chat that you would be late a few minutes and that they should go in without you and you will meet them there.
Thankfully the parking spots next to the restaurant are free and at least for this your nerves are speared.
Taking a deep breath in, you stop the car and look yourself up in the rare mirror. “Why?” The question comes out with a sigh, and it is towards yourself and the universe. Why you ended up pregnant after the only night you let yourself be wild and spontaneous in years? This must be some very sick joke life is throwing at you.
Grabbing your bag, you leave the car and lock it, making your way inside.
You have been to this place before. It is a well know brunch spot for the upper-class people around the city. The type of place where you pay ridiculous price for an avocado toast and poached eggs, but neither you nor your friends complain about it. After all, you all work hard and make quite a lot of money to effort nice things in life.
Walking in further into the restaurant where the indoor garden is, you see your friends sitting and chitchatting around one of the nicely put round tables. The place is very cozy and nice, with big windows walls surrounding it, the sun shining outside lighting up the place. This beautiful, picturesque place is surrounded by different types of flowers and marble statues in between the corners, giving it nicer touch.
Your kitten heels clicking on the marble floor catches your friends' attention as you get close to them, and Marguerite squeaks with excitement once she sees you. She has been oversea for two months now and she has missed you and Boa a lot. Pushing her chair, she gets up on her feet and welcomes you in a strong hug. “I’ve missed you so much.” Her voice comes up muffled as she is rocking you from side to side in her strong grip.
Marguerite is probably your second-best friend after Boa. She knows about you as much as Boa does, but still Boa has been the one who has been there for you since day one. Marguerite has come around your college years. Her bright uplifting personality has made you and Boa getting her into your inner circle and since then you three have become inseparable.
Dressed in a leopard halterneck top and long white tailored pants with a black belt around her waist, Maggie, as you two call her for short, is a beautiful tall slender woman with a lighter skin, brown eyes and short cut on bob style blond hair.
“I’ve missed you, too Maggie.” You tell her pulling away. Before taking your seat around the table, you hug Boa for hello. “I’m sorry, girls. The traffic was awful.” Finally sitting down, you grab the menu in front of you and scanned it with your eyes. Even though you are familiar with it, nothing seems appealing to your stomach.
The morning sickness has kicked in a week ago, which has been the wakeup call of you finally noticing that you have been late and you have missed your period. The past month you have been so busy with work that when you finally noticed that you are late, you blamed it on stress, and oh boy… how wrong have you been.
“Don’t worry we waited for you, but we ordered drinks, so you better don’t mind enjoying some nice and cold margaritas.” Maggie shakes her body in a little dance move as a big smile spreads across her face.
You wish you could enjoy one, but you can’t. Not while being pregnant, but your friends don’t know this… yet. “Oh, I would love to girls, but I’m driving so I won’t be able to.” Technically you are not lying, you are in fact driving after the brunch is done.
“What? You’re with your car? I thought you took an uber?” Boa raises one of her eyebrows at you. “Why did you come with the car?”
You need to think fast, because you can’t tell them the real reason of why you have taken your car instead of an uber. It isn’t because you are a fan of driving in your big city and traffic jams, but because after the brunch you have made an appointment with an obstetrician to check on the fetus and exactly how far along are you. But you can’t tell them that, yet.
Thankfully the waiter comes to serves your drinks, which saves you a bit more time to think of an excuse of why you are with your own car. “Have you ladies decided what would you like to eat?” The waiter politely smiles at you.
Both Boa and Marguerite tells him their orders and hand back the menus and now it is only you left to order. Scanning the menu one more time you choose the thing that seems the least likely to cause any nauseous or at least if it does you hope it will be just the feeling of it, and you wouldn’t need to run to the toilet to puke.
“Also, could you please take this away?” You hand him one of the glasses filled up with the alcohol cocktail. “My friends didn’t know that I’m driving, so I must give it back to you. I’ll take water instead.” He just nods with a polite smile and walks away.
“So… where are you going afterwards?” Boa doesn’t waste any second to shoot her question at you.
Shrugging with one shoulder, trying to hide your internal panic you clear your voice before answering her. “I have a doctor appointment.”
“What? Are you okay?” Placing her hand gently on top of yours, Marguerite’s big brown eyes shoot you a worried look.
“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Placing your other hand on top of hers, you give her a gentle squeeze. “It’s just a regular check-up.”
Again, you are not lying. You are just saving some details, is what you are saying to yourself, easing your guilt a bit. You don’t like lying to your friends and you hope they won’t ask any more questions related to this.
“Oh, okay. Regular check-ups are important. I just got scared that it’s something serious.” Taking her hand away she puts it on her chest where her heart is and relax, hearing that you are fine and nothing is wrong with you.
The conversation starts to flow naturally again, with mostly Boa and Marguerite talking about their recent trips and gossips in your life. Your food has come as well, but you barely touch it. Too nervous of what it is coming next, your stomach is on a tight knot.
How do you tell your friends that you are knocked up? ‘Hey, girls. Sorry for interrupting. By the way, I’m pregnant and also, I have no idea where or how to find the guy who knocked me up, but hey Boa please tell me again about the mind-blowing sex you had with this rich old money boy you met in Paris?’ Yes, this is definitely not how you bring this up.
This doesn’t go unnoticed by your friends at all. Yes, in the past few years you have gotten quieter than what you used to be, but today something is really bothering you. You barely indulge in the conversations; your food is untouched and all you do is drinking water and looking like you are about to throw up any second now.
“Okay, missy.” Boa has had enough. Clicking with her fingers in front of your face to get your attention you turn to her. “Speak up.”
“What?” You look at her with a bit of fear and surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“Something with you obviously.” Boa chuckles, crossing her arms across her chest, leaning on the back of the chair, her eyes pierced on you.
Seeing how stiff you get, Marguerite steps in. “Boa.” She shushes her with a deadly glance. “She is obviously not feeling good today.” Looking now at you she gives you a sympathetic smile. “What’s wrong (Y/N)?”
Your eyes are shifting from side to side between your friends. How do you tell them?
Taking a deep shaky breath in, you bite the insides of your cheeks before slowly gaining the courage to speak up. “Um… you remember the guy I told you I slept with like a month ago?”
“The firefighter with the magic dick?” Boa chuckles mocking, referring to the time when you described him and his dick as the most magical thing that has happened to you in years.
Marguerite hushes Boa one more time, as your best friend has no shame about what comes from her mouth nor where she is when it comes.
“Yes, that one.” You close your eyes and your whole face squeezes from embarrassment when the memories of what you have done starts playing in the back of your mind.
“What about him? Did he find you? Oh my, are you two seeing each other?” Maggie excitedly throws questions at you as her whole face lights up.
“No, nothing like this.” You shake your head, looking down at the plate in front of you to avoid your friends' curious gazes, but the sight of the food is making you nauseous.
“If she was seeing him, she would have been excited, don’t you think Maggie?” Rolling her eyes at the blonde, Boa then looks back at you. “What about him?”
The cold harsh tone in her voice is not helping, but you need to get this out of your chest and with your friend’s patience being far away from a big one, you need to do it now. “Well… you girls remember how I told you that recently I’m not feeling good right? It has something to do with that night I spent with him…”
A loud gasp comes from Marguerite as she covers her mouth with her hands. “No way! Did he give you some disease? Chlamydia? Or worse HIV? Are you going to be okay?” Her eyes are full of terror.
“I’m honestly not surprised. I’ve told you that he didn’t give me the look of a decent man.” Boa comments with a knowing and a bit judging click of her tongue.
“You never said that.” Turning your head at her, you give your friend an angry look, the tone of your voice sharp and harsh, matching hers. “And he was very decent, Boa. Even for only a one-night stand, he has treated me way better than most of the men in my life ever did.” This is enough of a painful realisation for you and last thing you need is your best friend judging you.
Silence takes over your table. None of you saying anything before you finally spilled it out. “I’m pregnant.” The words come out so quietly that none of your friends manage to hear it nor processed it.
“Say that again?” Boa leans closer and so does Maggie.
“I said that I’m pregnant…” You say once again with trembling voice.
Both of your friends are in shock and frozen on their seats. This is the last things they have been expecting to hear from you. You don’t dare to look at any of them. You are fully aware of the judgment they might have written all over their face or worse – they are pitying you, and you want none of it.
Marguerite is the first one to break the silence this time. “Do you plan to keep it?” Her voice is gentle, zero judgment can be heard in it, but there is quite lot of empathy in it.
Before you can even take a breath to answer, Boa jumps in quickly. “Of course, not. She must be mad crazy if she decides to keep the little parasite.”
Boa has never been a fan of children. She has made the choice that she wants to be child free from a very young age and made sure this would never happen to her. Your friend view kids as nothing more but little demons who are running and destroying the peace of the adults around. You will never catch her in a place where children are allowed. This is how much she cannot stand them.
“Boa, I didn’t ask you and don’t call it a parasite, because it’s not.” Marguerite scolds her across the table. She has always been a gentle soul and a big empath, and having her here right now is one of the biggest blessings in life you can get.
Reaching out with her arm, she places it on your shoulder, which gives you a bit of a strength to speak up. “I’m… I’m not entirely sure.”
“The fuck you mean you’re not entirely sure?” Boa raises her sharp dark brows up as she places her hands loudly enough on the table, causing the people sitting at the tables close to you throwing some glances at your direction. “What you want to keep some random man sperm and grow it? You want to be a single mother? Is this what you’re not entirely sure about?”
“Boa, watch your tone and language.” Maggie hisses at her with anger.
“I’m not watching shit.” Boa spats back. “If she is actually crazy enough and not go for an abortion, I’ll not stand by and watch her waste her life and potential away.” She says, finger pointing at you.
“How is being a mother a waste of life, when in fact they are the ones bringing one?” The blonde sitting opposite of her argues. “And for God’s sake, let her speak.” Maggie then turns her attention to you. “Don’t listen to her. Tell us what you plan to do and we -” She gives Boa one more deadly look. “We will listen and be there for you, no matter what your decision is.”
A makeshift of a laughter comes from Boa, but she decides to not say anything as she needs to calm down and hear you first. Maybe you may come back to your senses.
“Thank you, Maggie.” You nod and give her a small tight-lipped smile. “I’m not sure if I want to keep it or not, but I know that the most logical thing to do in this situation is to abort it, so I’m planning to go with it.” Glancing at Boa, you can still feel the judgement written on her face. “That is why I have an appointment with an obstetrician today. She will run some test, see how far along I am, and if my calculations are correct, I must be around five weeks pregnant. From there I must decide what to do next, which I think I’ve already had my mind set on.”
“Look whatever you’ll decide, we got your back.” Maggie takes your hand in hers and gives it a squeeze.
Glancing at Boa once again, all she does is a slight nod. Hearing that you plan to get rid of it, gives her some hope that you are not crazy enough to actually keep it.
A small smile appears on your face. “Thank you.” You quietly tell them.
Taking her hand away from yours, Marguerite uncomfortably shifts her body on the chair, not knowing what the best way is to word her next question, but she must ask. Saying your name softly to get your attention she sighs. “What about the guy?”
You know what Maggie means by that. You have been asking yourself the same question.
“What about him? He doesn’t need to know shit nor if he does, he has any saying in what she will do. Her body her choice.” Boa jumps in again.
“Of course, Boa. I agree with you that it’s her body and her choice, but he has the right to know.” Maggie tries to explain, aware that Boa will not agree with her.
“Well, none of this would have happened if he knew how to pull out in the first place.” Boa chuckles with a roll of her eyes.
As much as Marguerite doesn’t like how Boa words her comment, she does say something that catches her attention. “Ignoring how bitchy Boa is today-” This remark makes Boa gasps, but your friend ignores her. “Didn’t you say, you two used a condom? I know that they are not a hundred percent safe, but still. Do you think he has also realised that it broke mid act or…?”
Shaking your head, you shrug. “I’m not sure nor will I know.”
“I understand.” Marguerite gives you a small understanding smile. “But still, do you plan to find and tell him?”
“I thought about it, and I know I should, but I’m also afraid.” Reaching with your hand you grab the glass of water in front of you and take a sip of it. “I’m also not sure how to find him. I have a vague memory his name, but if I do see him, I will immediately recognise him, but that is all.”
“Boa, do you know by any chance in which fire station these guys worked at?” Marguerite doubts that Boa will remember but it is worth the shot.
Shaking her head, Boa sighs. “I didn’t even bother to ask because I would have never guessed that we would need it.”
“What if you go around and ask for him? He will be working in one of them.” Maggie awkwardly shrugs.
“Even if I do this, they will not give me a personal information like this one so easily if the reason is not good enough.” Leaning on the back of the chair you lift your hands in the air as frustration towards yourself and the guy starts to build. “On top of it, do you know that there are a hundred and six fire stations in the city? Hundred and six! When I looked it up, I thought to myself – ‘Well, they shouldn’t be more than what thirty?’. But no, of course not, there must be hundred and six.”
None of your friends say anything as they can see how stressful this whole situation is for you.
“Maggie, do you have any friends that work as firefighters or know some who does?” Boa, for a first time since she has heard the news, asks calmly.
“No, I don’t think so.” The blonde woman responds. “I’m trying to think of someone, but no one comes up in my mind.”
With a nod, Boa turns to you and takes your hand in hers. “Hey.” She says more encouraging. “We’ll find him, even if we must go to all hundred and six fire stations, he won’t be impossible to find.”
Looking at her, a smile is placed across her beautiful face. A smile that says – ‘Don’t worry we got your back.’, which makes you relax, because despite what the mess is you are into, your friends always got your back.
***
Keeping your head low as you walk in into the clinic makes you even more nauseous, but thankfully you still haven’t had the need to throw up. Making your way to the information desk, you wait on the queue as there are two people in front of you.
You have turned down Boa and Maggie’s suggestion to come with you. This is something you want to do by yourself. Something about this first visit feels extremely personal for you, and you want to keep it that way – you, the doctor and … your baby.
Your baby – it sounds so strange. Since you have found out about its existence, you even avoid thinking of it as a baby let alone call it one. You are not one of those who believes that this is a human yet, but now standing here in front of the clinic reception the reality of it is slowly settling in you.
Something has started to grow in you. Something you have always wanted, but not under these circumstances. Despite how wild you used to be, how career oriented you are, you have always wanted to have your own family, but you wanted to do it the right way; you meet the love of your life, you then become a couple for a few years, get engaged, get married, have your honeymoon and then you make the baby. Not make the baby and then the other things to follow, or worse - they never following.
Lost in your thoughts you haven’t released that you are standing in the middle of the information desk with eyes fixed on the floor and head hanged low, until the woman behind the desk calls for your attention. “Miss, is everything okay?”
Snapping out of your thoughts, you shake your head to come to your senses and take a step closer to the desk. “Yes, I’m sorry.” You murmured, your voice trembling from all the stress. “Hello, I have an appointment with Doctor Belladonna.”
With a short nod of her head, the woman at the desk asks for your name and personal number and you quickly pull out your id card, not wanting to speak up as you can’t find your voice. She takes the id card from you and types in all the information she needs. Giving it back to you she tells you where to go and wait for the nurse there to call you.
Walking to the elevator you press the button to the third floor. The doors close and after just a few seconds open again. Stepping out of the elevator you take a left turn and start walking down the hallway. The walls are painted in a light green colour; chairs are placed next to each door of every doctor's room and there are a few people sitting around and waiting for their appointments.
You find where Doctor Belladonna room is, and you take a seat in one of the empty chairs. There is one woman before you with a small but prominent pregnancy belly showing and a little boy, who seems no older than four years old, who she tries to make stay still, so it must be her son. The little boy obviously doesn’t want to sit around and wait for his mother, but he has no choice.
Your leg is bouncing on the ground as your stress level is starting to grow with every passing seconds. Maybe you should have let Boa and Maggie come with you.
A little pocking on your hand makes you look to the side, and you see the little boy looking at you with curiosity. “Why is your leg shaking so much?” Kids. They have no sense of privacy therefore being honest and straightforward is one of their many charms.
His mother gasps and apologise to you as she scolds the boy, but he protests. “But mommy, her leg is super shaky. Maybe she is cold.” This melts your heart. Kids are so pure, they have no idea what stress or worry are, so of course this boy pure little heart thinks that you are just cold.
The mother looks at you with apologetic look. “I’m so sorry.” She tells you, but you give her a small smile and wave with your hand.
“It’s fine. He doesn’t bother me at all.” Looking at the boy you smile at him.
“Are you cold?” He asks once again.
Shaking your head you give him a bigger smile. “No, I’m not. But thank you for checking on me.”
“Then why is your leg shaking?” His voice full of curiosity as he points with his little finger at your bouncy leg.
“I’m just nervous.” You tell him.
“Why?” You can’t help but giggle at his adorable face. Kids are always full of questions.
“Because I’ve never been to such doctor before and I’m a little afraid, that’s why my leg is bouncing so much.” You explain to him, and his face immediately lights up.
“Oh, I understand now.” He claps with his hands. “It’s like when I go to the bad doctor, the one with the big needles and every time before mommy and daddy drive me there my tummy hurts, and I want to poop.” Seeing him and the way he shakes his little head and grabbing his stomach from the memory of the ‘bad’ doctor a soft light laughter escapes your lips. “Are you also having a baby in your tummy like my mommy?” His big Bambi-like eyes fill with excitement as he gently places his hand on your stomach, making your heart skips a beat.
Seeing what her child has done and where his little hand is placed, his mother pulls him away. “Michael, what have I told you about touching people without permission?”
“That it’s bad and I should always ask.” The little boy voice fills with guilt. “I’m sorry for touching your belly without permission.” He tells you; a sad pout placed on his adorable little face.
“It’s alright, Michael. That is your name, right?” The small boy nods eagerly. Giving him your hand for a shake, he takes it, and you tell him yours.
He repeats your name and shoots another question. “Do you have more babies?”
You shake your head. “No, just this one.” With a smile you run your hand gently over the bottom of your stomach but freezes the moment you realise what you are doing. Since you have found out that you are pregnant you never smile at the thought of it, nor run your hands over your stomach so lovingly.
“I was my mommy’s first baby, and now we are going to have a second baby. I hope he is a boy because I want a brother. What is your baby?” The little boy next to you eagerly asks, his face blooming with excitement.
Still shocked by what you have done, you swallow hard before answering the little kid next to you. “I don’t know.” You really don’t know. Does it even matter? Boy or a girl, you will probably never know. This pregnancy won’t be it anyway. As your best friend has said – you must be mad crazy if you decide to keep it.
The door of Doctor Belladonna’s room opens and a young short woman step from it, dressed in a light blue nurse uniform. She tells the woman sitting next to you that she will be let in in about two minutes and then she turns to you. “(Y/N), right?” You just nod to her question. “Perfect. I need you to come with me to run some blood test that should be done by the time you meet with Doctor Belladonna, so please may you follow me so we can get them done.”
Getting up from the chair you follow behind her, but not before telling the little boy and his mother goodbye, as you are not sure if they will be here once you come back.
The nurse is very gentle with you. You don’t feel any pain or discomfort as she runs the test. She also takes your measurements and weight as she needs to fill quite lot of information about you and your medical record to make Doctor Belladonna works faster and easier.
“Okay, we are done here. You can go back and when your time comes, I’ll call for you.” She smiles at you and then disappears, leaving you alone.
Making your way back you bump into someone you wish you would have. Kalifa. An old classmate of you and Boa, which you two could not stand. She has always been a mean girl, especially towards you. Why of all places you happen to meet her here?
“Wow, (Y/N). What a strange coincidence. What are you doing here?” She runs her eyes up and down your body, scanning it for any flaws.
“Kalifa.” You fake a smile. “Yes, what a coincidence. What are yo-” Finally looking her up and down, your eyes land on the ultrasound pics she is holding in her hands. Well, guess you aren’t the only one knocked up. By the looks of it she is still quite early, as the belly is not visible at all and her body is still toned up and nice. “Congratulations.” You nod at her, now more politely.
“Thank you.” She says with a cocky smile as she tosses her long blond hair to the side. “It’s so hard being in the fifth month you know.”
Your eyes widen and you blink in disbelief. Fifth month? And she is as skinny and toned as she has always been? God does have favourite after all.
“What about you?” She raises one of her thin eyebrows up. Next thing she does is mentioning your ex’s name and your blood runs cold. “Didn’t know you two are still together, I swear I heard you two broke up. Guess, babies do fix some relationships.”
“We’re not together.” You harshly reply. “Nor am I pregnant. I’m here with a friend of mine. She should be out soon.” Kalifa is one if the last people you will let making fun of you, especially after all the things you have been through.
“Whatever. My husband is waiting for me.” Raising her hand up, she shows you a big diamond rock placed on her index finger with a beautiful weeding band under it. “What can I say, some of us are lucky, aren’t we?” She gives you one last mocking smile, and walks pass you, her high heels clicking on the floor.
Frozen in the middle of the hallway the doctor’s door open and the nurse from earlier calls out your name. “You can come in.” She says and gets back inside.
Swallowing hard you just nod. Seeing Kalifa might be for good. A reminder that you don’t want this. A reminder that things should be happening a certain way. In a way that you have always wanted it.
Stepping into the doctor’s room, she meets you with a warm smile. Doctor Belladonna is said to be one of the best obstetricians in the city, known for taken an exceptional care of her patients and aways deliver healthy babies. You won’t be needing her for that long, but you still want to be taken care of in the best way possible.
She stands up to meet and greet you, as she stretches her hand for you in a handshake. She is a bit taller than you, dark haired and with quite sharp and prominent cheekbones. Big round and pink glasses are placed on top of her head.
“Please take a seat.” She says and gestures with her hand towards the bed attached to ultrasound machine. You nod and take a seat at the edge of it.
Looking around the room while she looks at your test results, your anxiety is starting to peek up. There are many posters of pregnant women or mothers with big smiles holding their babies, which only makes the situation for you worse.
Your leg starts once again to bounce, and you grab a strand of your hair in attempt to distract yourself.
Taking a seat on the small chair with wheels attached on the bottom of it, Doctor Belladonna moves closer to you as she crosses one leg over the other and looks at you with a smile still placed on her face. Her eyes shift between you and then the papers with the results in her hands she finally speaks up.
“Well, (Y/N), one thing I can confirm is that you are pregnant.”
This much you know. After all, three pregnancy tests with two lines could mean nothing else but a baby, right? A small part of you wished it wasn’t the case, that they were all wrong, but they weren’t. Everything is correct. You are pregnant.
“By the looks of the blood test, you are healthy, but we still going to check you up with the ultrasound to see if everything with the little one is as well.” She gets up from the chair and turns around to prepare whatever she needs from the machine. “If you may unbutton your pants and lay down.”
Letting go of your hair, with shaking hands you unbutton the top of your pants and slightly roll them down.
With her peripheral vision, doctor Belladonna notices your nervousness. She turns around and comes closer to you as she holds a bottle in her hand. “Are you comfortable?” All you do is nod. “Okay. Now relax. Ultrasound is harmless, neither you nor the embryo will fill anything.” She explains as she puts on some gloves and takes the bottle she has been holding and opening it. Squeezing it gently a transparent liquid comes from it. “You might feel a little bit of a chill from the gel, but it will pass in a few seconds.”
She applies the gel on the bottom of your belly and gently spread it around before turning on the ultrasound and runs it where the gel is. As much as you want to avoid looking at it, you can’t help it, and your eyes are glued to the screen.
A contented hum comes from the doctor, and she points with her finger at the screen. “You see, there is the embryo.” She looks back at you and smile.
It is barely visible. It is just a tiny little dot on the dark screen, barely the size of a lentil, but you spot it.
Doctor Belladonna is talking to you, but you are not really listening. You are lost in your thoughts and not present at all in the room.
This whole thing terrifies you. The more the doctor next to you talks the more the reality of it all hits you. Your heart is beating fast, and your mouth runs dry. A bit of cold sweat runs down your forehead.
Eyes still fixed on the screen in front of your face; you can’t move your eyes from the screen and the little dot on it.
“I can hear a bit of a cardiac pulse.” Doctor Belladonna announces. “Do you hear it as well?”
Slowly moving your eyes from the screen, you look at the doctor for just a second and then back. Swallowing hard you ask her. “Wait, it has a heart already?”
A light laughter comes from the woman next to you. “No, it’s a bit too early for the embryo to have a heart, but it’s developing. If you focus and listen you will hear a slight cardiac pulse, which means you’re already six weeks pregnant.” She calmly explains. “Now listen.”
It is a strange feeling to explain what you felt the moment you hear the sound of the pulse coming from the little dot on the screen. Part of you can listen to it for hours, another part screams at you to come to your senses. This isn’t right. You are not supposed to love or fall for this.
Pulling the ultrasound away, Doctor Belladonna gives you a few napkins to wipe out the gel from your belly. Once you get all of it away, you button up your jeans and sit up on the bed.
“There you go.” Doctor Belladonna says as he hands you a picture of the ultrasound. With trembling fingers, you take it and look at it.
The little dot is there. Barely visible, but the doctor has marked it so you can spot it easier. In the corner of the ultrasound picture is written the date of today, how big the dot is and which week it is.
Doctor Belladonna can’t ignore your shaken presence anymore and she calls out your name until she gets your attention. “I can’t pretend that I don’t see how shaken and stressed you are.” Her dark brown eyes are full of sympathy. “As a doctor and part of your first exam, I must ask you if you are with an abusive partner or one who might cause you trouble during the pregnancy?”
Shaking your head you inhale deeply. “No, nothing like this.” It is worse than this, but how you tell someone you just have met that you got knocked up by a stranger whom you have no idea if you will be able to find. “I’m just not sure if I want to keep it. That’s all.”
Doctor Belladonna nods understandingly. “It’s entirely your choice. If we proceed with abortion, I just advise you to do it as soon as possible due the fact that you’re six weeks pregnant, for your safety I recommend you doing it by latest week nine.”
Looking at her, you bite the insides of your cheeks. “Do you perform the procedure yourself?”
“Yes, I do.” She softly smiles.
Hearing that you are considering ending your pregnancy, Doctor Belladonna explains to you how the procedure goes and why she has advised you to do it by week nine so it can be medically done and not by a surgery. She informs you about the aftermath of the procedure and how long it will take for you to recover.
Despite all this she proscribes you some pills and vitamins you should take until you make up your mind, in case you want to keep it. You two also agree to speak a week, when you will have a clear answer about what decision you have taken.
By the time your appointment with her is done, you feel a bit calmer. It is nice to know that it is all up to you whenever or not you will keep the Dot or not. You have made your mind that for now on you will be calling it – the Dot. Calling it a baby feels too scary and calling it an embryo just doesn’t sits right with you. Giving it its small size Dot feels like the perfect name to refer to it.
***
Your therapist is quite surprised by the news she hears. Of all the things she has expected to hear today from you, given your tired face, eyes filled with worry and body language screaming anxiety, the last thing she has thought of is the news that you are pregnant.
“When did you find out?” Nico Robin asks.
“Three or four days ago. Something like this.” You shrug, wrapping your arms around you, trying to protect yourself from the world around you.
“Have you checked with a doctor?”
You nod. “I’m six weeks pregnant.”
“I assume it’s from the guy you slept with not long ago?” You nod again to her question. “Do you plan to keep it?”
That is when you cannot hold it anymore and the tears you have been holding for so long starts pouring down your face like a waterfall. “I don’t know.” You say in between sobs. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should get rid of it, because-” Chocking on a sob you press the palms of your hands to your forehead, the tips of your fingers pulling the roots of your hair. “I-I know t-that this is the r-right choice and thing to do-” Another sob tears apart from your chest. “B-but… I-I’m not sure I-I want this.”
Seeing your current state, Nico Robin puts aside her diary and gets up from her comfortable chair. She sits down next to you on the sofa and wraps her arms around your figure. “It’s fine to feel this way.” She softly says, running her hands up and down your back, trying to calm you dawn a bit. “I can’t imagine how scared you are right now, but I can promise you that your fears and reaction are valid and normal, and I’m proud of you, and how you have managed to handle all of it until now.” She pulls away from you and takes your hands in hers. “Please, focus on me right now and take deep breaths.”
Robin starts to count from one to ten and lets you know when to inhale and exhale. You are not sure how long you have been doing it, but soon your heartbeat returns to normal, and your tears start to dry.
“When you feel ready to speak, I’m here and I’m listening.” She gives you some space as she sits back on her chair and patiently waits for you.
“I don’t know how to find him.” Is all you say.
“Don’t you remember where he lives?” Robin knows all about your night spent with the nice and charming firefighter you met. She knows how you ran away in the morning and never bothered to get any of his contacts.
“I don’t.” Looking down at your hands, you grab a strand of your hair and start twisting your fingers around the edge of it. “I ran away and stopped running after four or more streets. I don’t even remember from which street I took the taxi home.”
The more you remember from that morning the more ashamed and embarrassed you feel. How could you be so stupid that you didn’t even bother to look around where you were? Given the fact how bit the city is, you will probably spend at least two weeks passing by every street for a chance to meet him.
“I was considering going to every fire station, but they are hundred and six!” You throw your hands in the air in disbelief. “Hundred and six fire stations? Can you believe it? I mean, are there that many fire accidents that happen in this city to need hundred and six fire stations?”
Running your hand through your hair, you shake your head and sigh. “To be honest, I don’t know if I should tell him.” Looking down, you place your hand on your stomach. “Especially if I decide to end the pregnancy.”
You can’t help but think of the sound of the pulse of your little Dot. Its little heart is not even developed yet but knowing that soon it will be not just a pulse, but a real heart, makes you want to cry.
“If you were me…” Your voice is a bit raw and quiet. “Would you have found and tell him?” Glancing with teary eyes at your therapist, you hope she will have the answers you are looking for.
A deep sigh escapes her chest. She doesn’t know what to tell you, because at the end you are the one who should make the choice. Morally speaking – the right thing to do is to find the guy and let him know that he might be a father, whenever you decide to keep the baby or not. If you have been a hundred percent sure that you will get rid of it, she does not see it as a very bad thing if you never find and tell him, but that is where one of the biggest problem lays in this situation - that you don’t know what you want.
“Please, Robin.” You and she have been on a first name basis for a long time now. “I beg you, answer me as yourself, not as my therapist.”
It is easier said than done what you are asking of her. Nodding, Nico Robin takes a deep breath. “I would find and tell him, if I want to keep it and if I am doubting it. I would only not tell him if I was a hundred percent sure that I don’t want the baby.”
You listen to her and think for a bit. She has a point. But telling him might be risky. “What if I tell him and he doesn’t want me to abort it? Or worse I decide to keep it, and he doesn’t want to even acknowledge it? What if I fail at being a single mother?”
All the questions and fears you have are valid. Crossing one leg over the other, Robin adjusts the frames of her tin glasses before answering some of your worries. “First of all, no one can say anything regardless your choices especially when it comes to your body and mental health.” The tone of her voice is serious, making sure you understand that no one can make you do something you don’t want to do. “Regarding your worries if he doesn’t want to acknowledge the child and leave you as a single mother, I’m confident enough to say that I think you will be an amazing mother with or without a man next to you. There are many mothers out there that have raised their children alone and they have done it perfectly, so there is no doubt that you can do it, too.”
You cannot believe that someone like your therapist, Nico Robin, see so much potential in someone like you. “You really think that if I have to raise a child of my own, I will manage it?”
A gentle smile spread across her beautiful face. “I’m positive that you will.”
Nodding slowly, you swallow hard. “I know this might sound strange, but do you have any friend working in a fire station department to help me find him?”
Taking her glasses off, Robin slightly tilts her head up a bit, thinking if she might have any friends or acquaintances working in the fire department of the city. Humming she slowly nods her head. “I think I might have a friend who might help. His name is Franky, he owns a mechanic shop, and if I remember correctly, he made some deal with some of the fire stations in the city to do monthly check-ups on their trucks.” Looking at you, she sees a bit of hope sparkling in your eyes. “Do you remember his name at least?”
Pressing the pads of your finger on your temple, you try your best to remember his name. It is short and it is not very common, but you have heard it before on other guys as well. “It was something with A…” Getting some of the memories from the night you met the charming man, you try your best to remember. Your eyes shoot open when the memory of you two playing poker pops out. “Ace. His name is Ace.”
“Are you a hundred percent sure that this is his name?” Robin raises one of her eyebrows at you.
Nodding eagerly, a big smile grows on your face. “Yes, I’m sure. Because we played poker together and every time, I had an Ace of Space I would make fun of him.”
“Okay. That is nice that at least we have his name. If you could also remember what he looks like I can tell Franky, and he can ask around for him.”
You describe the guy and Robin writes it down. She makes the phone call while you are still there and lucky you, she has remembered correctly that her friend has been involved with some of the fire stations in town. Robin is professional enough to not say why she is asking for such a favour of her friend, but he promises her that he will ask around and let her now.
Now all you must do is wait and see if you will be lucky enough to find your baby daddy this easily.
Notes:
I hope you liked this chapter and plan to stick for more. I have so much fun writing this story and I can’t wait to put out more of it for you to read ♡
I know that this was only Reader focused, but in the next chapter you are getting quite lot of Ace so be patient ♡
Also I want to say - I’m all about women making their own choices with their bodies!!! I am a big women rights supporter and having the choice to keep the baby or not for me is entirely up to the woman carrying the baby!!!
All feedback is welcomed by me ♡ I appreciate every like, comment, reblog and message from you ♡ Thank you ♡
Chapter 3: Chapter III | Miss me?
Notes:
Hello everyone, I want to first thank you about all the love you express for this fic ♡ I have so much fun writing this story and I’m so happy that you like it as well ♡ The editing of this chapter might be pretty bad and maybe with a lot of spelling mistakes, but I have been away since the last week of the June and my computer is back home, and I’m won’t be back until the end of August, therefore I write and edit from my phone as the only laptop I have access to is so painfully slow I don’t have the nerves to edit on it. Anyway - more yapping at the end. Enjoy ♡
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Reaching with one hand to grab another piece of snacks while holding the PS controller in the other, Ace laughs at the tv screen in front of him as his brother gets defeated once again by him.
“Just give up Luffy.” He says mocking to the microphone attached to the headphones he is wearing.
“You’re cheating!” His younger brother screams from the other side of the headphones.
“Yea, yea.” Ace chuckles as they start another round. “If this is going to help you sleep tonight keep telling yourself that.”
Today is one of Ace’s day offs. He always demands long shifts at work or takes extra hours. It is not like he doesn’t enjoy having days without work, not at all he loves these days, but the extra hours bring him extra bonuses, and these bonuses get add to his savings for his dream car.
By his calculations he must be able to buy it in the next four months, and he cannot wait for this. Six years of hard work and soon his dream vehicle will no longer be just a dream, but a reality he will be owning.
He has already spoken with the owner of the car he has picked up to be his, and he has promised Ace that he would wait for him and wouldn’t put it up for a sale until Ace can afford to buy it.
On his day off Ace usually spends it chilling at home. He might be still young, but the long hours do take a toll on his body from time to time. That is why today he has decided to spend the day playing on his PlayStation with his younger brother over call.
With his body spread out across the long worn-out brown leather couch, with nothing but basketball shorts hanging low on his waist and a controller in hand he wouldn’t want to spend this day any differently.
Focused on the screen in front of him, Ace gets startled as his cat jumps on top of him midway through his round.
“For fucks sake, Kotatsu.” Ace curses out the orange cat as he moves him to his right side. “You scared me, buddy.” Glancing at the not at all small cat, he quickly returns his attention back to the game.
Kotatsu , though , has something different in mind and doesn't like how his owner has decided to just ignore him. Bumping his little fluffy head in Ace’s arm, the orange cat pats his paws on his owner's hand. The man too focused on the tv screen, continues to ignore the fluffy ball next to him until a loud meow pierce his ears.
Pushing aside the headphones, Ace glances at his favourite orange fluff ball. “What’s wrong, buddy?” Another meow comes from Kotatsu, who jumps from the couch and goes to his bow. “You hungry?” Ace raises one of his eyebrows. As if he understands his owner’s question, Kotatsu meows back in response.
Raising his left hand, Ace takes look at the watch on his wrist. “Kotatsu, you fatass.” He exclaims at the orange fluff ball. “You’ve eaten ten minutes ago.”
Given the fact how many hours Ace spends at work, he has bought an automatic meal feeder for Kotatsu, which refills his bow three times a day, and Ace always make sure that the automatic feeder is filled with Kotatsu favourite food.
Kotatsu lets out an agonising yowl to which Ace rolls his eyes and puts his controller to the side. “Yo, Luffy. I’ll be back in a second.” He says on the microphone before he takes off the headphones, and makes his way to the kitchen, the hungry cat making his way after him.
Opening the cupboard where all of Kotatsu’s food and treats are, Ace sighs at the variety of snacks he has for his cat. “You know, I’m spoiling you a bit too much.” He turns to look at the fluff ball which has a very special place in his heart.
Kotatsu just stares at him with his big round and uncommonly dark cat eyes. “Stop giving me this look.” Ace shakes his head as another begging meow comes from the impatiently waiting cat. “You’re getting your treat. No need of giving me pupp-, sorry, kitten eyes.” Taking one of his favourite cat snacks, Ace goes back to where Kotatsu’s bow is and fills half of it with it. The orange cat quickly runs to the bow and starts to eat his favourite snack.
Putting back the snack in the cupboard, Ace returns to the couch to continue his game. “Okay, I’m ba-” He is about to put on his headphones when he hears the doorbell. This is strange, he is not expecting anyone. “Never mind. Give me a minute.” He says to the microphone, his brother whining from the other side.
Ace doesn’t expect anyone today nor he has ordered anything. If someone is to visit him, they would have let him know. Maybe it is some of these annoying people who wants to sell you something you will never need. It is a surprise how they still do this kind of job nowadays considering how everyone buys from the internet.
Not bothering to check who it is standing on the other side of the door through the peephole, Ace swings the door open. Seeing who is standing in front of him, his whole mood changes from unbothered to slightly annoyed. “The fuck is you doin' here?” It is the last person he expects to see standing in front of him, yet he is not surprised at all by their sudden unexpected visit.
“Wow, hello to you as well Ace.” Isuka tells him with a roll in her eyes. Instead of giving him any explanation for her sudden and unwelcomed visit, she pushes him to the side and walks in like she owns the place, making her way to the living room.
“Uh yea, you can come in Isuka, you’re so welcome.” Ace yells at her, shutting the door with irritation. He has forgotten how presumptuous his ex-girlfriend can be when she wants too.
Turning around to face him, once he has entered the living room, Isuka gives Ace a little mocking pout. “What? You’re not excited to see me?” Crossing her arms over her chest she teasingly raises one of her brows.
Ace leans on the doorframe and imitates her as he crosses his hands in front of his chest. “Can’t you see all the excitement pouring out of me?” With indifference in his face and voice he sarcastically asks her.
Clicking with her tongue, she takes her black leather bag off her shoulder and throws it on the couch. “Come on, Ace.” She calls him out as she leans on the back of the couch. “Don’t act like you don’t miss me.” Running her eyes all over his body, Isuka gives him a sweet smile.
Taking better look at her, Ace will be lying if he says that she doesn’t look good. Her bright ginger hair cut nicely in a bob style, dressed in short denim dress, which hugs every curve of her body and shows off her long bare legs, with black boots up to her knees she does look very good today. But that is all – she just looks good.
Nothing in her sparks Ace's interest nor makes him feel something for the woman standing in front of him, which is quite relieving for him. If she has come back seven months ago or even more, he doesn’t exactly remember how long it has been since they last saw each other, maybe then he would have fallen for her tricks, but now none of it will work.
“Why are you here Isuka?” Pulling away from the doorframe, Ace goes to the other side of the couch where the headphones are and turns them off, not wanting his brother to hear whatever he and his ex are about to talk about.
With a shrug of her shoulders, Isuka gives him an innocent look. “Can’t I stop by to see how my favourite ex is doing?”
“No, not really.” Ace tells her as he takes a seat on the couch. His eyes full of disinterest, eyebrows a bit frowned and lips on a tight line. “Go on, say what you want. No need of all the act you’ve probably prepared.”
“Ouch.” She says, pushing herself away from the back of the couch to take a seat herself. “You see, that is what I miss about us, Ace. How brutally honest we are with each other.” Crossing one leg over the other she leans her back on the cushion behind her.
“You mean how toxic we are with each other.” Ace corrects and gives her a ‘try again and better’ look.
“Come on, Ace.” Tilting her head slightly at Ace, Isuka looks at him under her lashes. “Act all tough and disinterest as you want, but I know that deep down you miss me like crazy. You can lie to yourself, but I’m the person who knows you better than anyone will ever will.”
Ace can be enormous asshole if he wants to, but he counts to ten this time before he tells Isuka to fuck off. “As much as you women believe that us men are actually more thoughtful and deeper than we actually let you see.” He leans on his elbows on his knees and looks Isuka straight in the eyes. “I’m really sorry Isuka, but I must burst your bubble and tell you, that we’re in fact very simply wired, and when I tell you that I do not miss you at all, I do not miss you at all.” He shrugs like he is sorry for what he just has said to her, but in fact he is just mirroring her arrogant behaviour.
“Is there someone in your life currently?” Isuka completely ignores what Ace has told her and moves a bit too closer (for his liking) next to him.
“It’s none of your business, Isuka.” A slightly irritation can be heard in the tone of his voice, as he leans back on the couch, spreading his arms and props them on the back.
Moving even closer to him, Isuka raises one hand and runs the fingertips of it over Ace’s broad, hard muscles chest. “So, it has been some time since you’ve been with somebody other than me.” Her smile grows big, and so does her confidence, because knowing Ace she is more than a hundred percent sure that he hasn’t slept with anyone after her.
Glancing at her with his peripheral vision and seeing her smug smile, Ace takes Isuka’s hand away from his body and turns his head slightly towards her. His gaze changes from disinterest and irritation to smugness, the corner of his lips slightly turning up. “I think the answer to this question might hurt your ego.”
Isuka pulls away from him. The smug smile she has had on her face is gone and now a frown is formed between her eyebrows. “So, you are seeing someone?”
Rolling his eyes, Ace sighs loudly. “No, Isuka.” He tells her harshly. “I’m not seeing anyone, and I don’t plant to see anyone anytime soon, this includes you as well.”
“But you’ve slept with someone else?” Her sweet sultry voice is now harsher.
“No, Isuka I haven’t.” Ace looks away for a slight second cursing himself out. Why did he lie? There is no reason to lie to her, but also, he doesn’t feel like giving her any explanations for his personal life, which she is not part of anymore. “Now if you don’t plan to tell me why you came here unannounced, you can leave.” His patience with her is wearing thin.
“Well, I guess I have no other choice left but to get straight to the point.” She murmurs, looking away from Ace her eyes lands on Kotatsu who passes by the coffee table, completely ignoring her and jumping straight to Ace’s lap. ‘ This fucking cat ’ Isuka thinks to herself.
The orange fluff ball has never been a fan of her, whenever she had stayed over at Ace’s place when they had a thing, Kotatsu would even hiss at her at times when Ace wasn’t around.
“Isuka, I don’t have the whole day.” Ace tells her without looking at her, but the cat in his lap as he gently pets Kotatsu on the head.
“Oh, I bet your schedule for the day is full.” She rolls her eyes, unable to withhold her snarky comment.
“Pretty much, yes.” Ace replies calmly, ignoring her snorting.
Noticing how she is not going anywhere with this attitude and seeing how the chance of him giving her what she wants is slowly slipping through her fingers, she quickly changes her tactics.
With a head hanged low, she looks away from Ace for a second before she speaks up. “I miss you, Ace.” Her voice gets quieter and almost sad. “I miss everything about you and us. I think if you give me the chance I can change your mind.” Ace doesn’t say anything and lets her continue, even though he knows to what she is referring to by ‘changing his mind’. “I’m almost twenty-nine, and I know what I want, and that I want it with you, but I know how much you don’t want this, but what I’m about to ask you, I beg you to consider it before you tell me no.” She looks at him with her big light hazelnut eyes.
“Isuka…” Ace lets out a deep sigh. “I’ve already told you that nothing can change my mind and I don’t want anything serious with you or anyone else.”
Ace has been sure that the last time they had spoken months ago, he made himself clear that he doesn’t want to settle down. He doesn’t want a relationship; he doesn’t want to ever get married nor have children. He wants none of this life.
“I know, I know.” Isuka whines in despair. “But hear me out.” She begs. “I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now, and I think I came up with the perfect solution for both of us, without needing to be together, but still having some part of the other in our lives.” Moving closer to Ace once again, she takes his right hand and places it on her cheek, while his left hand is still on Kotatsu. “Oh, how I missed the warmth of your body.” She whispers as she presses his hand closer to her cheek and holds it stronger when she feels Ace trying to pull it away.
Lifting Kotatsu and placing him on the floor, Ace takes Isuka's hand that she has wrapped around in a strong hold around his and manages to free it. “Isuka the fuck is wron-”
Without giving him the time to finish his sentence, Isuka interrupts him with a loud and bold statement. “I want you to father my child.”
Ace freezes on the spot. The last thing he would have imagined hearing someone ever saying to him is – ‘ Be my baby daddy .’
“I know it sounds crazy but hear me out.” Isuka is quick to speak. “You’ve known I’ve always wanted to become a mother, and till this day I do believe that you will be the perfect choice to be the father of my child.” Her tone is more relaxed now. “I don’t want to wait any longer with this step in my life, especially when all the people around me are expecting.” Taking a deep breath, she continues. “That is why I want you to help me with this. It’s up to you if you want to do it the natural way or just by giving me your sperm.”
Ace just leans on the couch, his face completely frozen as Isuka continues to talk about her ridiculous ‘co-parenting' plan. “And as I said, you can be involved as much as you want, and as I mentioned you will always have a little me by your side for the rest of your life, plus of it’s a boy we can name him whatever you want, but also-”
“Isuka.” Ace calls her name out, but she chose to ignore him.
“If it’s a girl we can name her after your mother as I know how much you respect and love her, and on top of it, it’s an uncommon name so it will be unique, and oh my-”
“Isuka.” Ace turns his head towards her. His voice is now full of warnings for her to stop talking because soon he is about to lose all his patience, if she continues to speak nonsenses like this one.
“Ace she will be so adorable, with my beauty passing on her, and-”
Getting up from the couch, with his fingers buried in his dark messy curls, he pulls it by the roots as he tries his best to not lose his sanity if the insane woman next to him doesn’t shut up. “For fuck’s sake, shut the hell up.” He turns around and yells at Isuka, making her startled by his outburst. “Are you out of your fucking mind?” He looks at her in disbelief.
“I’m just giving you the perfect solution for your life.” She shrugs, not understanding why he has gotten this mad. She has expected him to react harsh at her suggestion, but not that harsh.
“The perfect solution for my life?” Ace repeats her words, pointing his hands towards himself.
“Yes, Ace.” Isuka raises one of her eyebrows up and looks at him like this is the most obvious thing in the world. “Think about it, Ace.” She gets up and walks closer to him. “I’m soon to in my thirties, and you are in your late twenties. You might not want to have children now, but I’m sure you will eventually change your mind, so why not have a child, a family, with someone who already knows you so well and would do anything for you.”
Eyes widely open, eyebrows frowned and lips slightly parted, Ace is in complete state of disbelief. He knows that Isuka tends to get crazy ideas from time to time and there used to be a time when he liked this about her the most, but this today is the cherry on the top of all the crazy things someone has ever said to him in his life.
“Isuka, you really are out of your mind.” Throwing his hands in the air, Ace can’t help but laugh. “You really came all the way here thinking that I would say yes to this?” Looking back at her and seeing her she nodding her head throws his mind out of the window. “Isuka, I don’t want to be with you anymore, why the hell would I want to have a child with you?”
This whole situation is more than ridiculous. At this point, Ace hopes that this is some stupid prank she is trying to put on him. It must be something like a sick joke, because they have had this conversation millions of times.
This isn’t the first time ever she tries to bring up having a baby with him, but Ace has made it clear since they have met – he doesn’t want to be a husband or a father. He likes his bachelor life and plans to keep it this way as long as he is alive.
“Why not l, Ace?” She is getting irritated. “Is it because of your major daddy issues? Just because you don’t want to become a father one day, it doesn’t mean that you won’t turn into your dad.” Isuka knows what and where his weak spots are and tends to attack them whenever she gets the chance to hurt him. “You weren’t the best boyfriend anyway, but I still stuck with you.”
“We were never official.” Ace coldly reminds her.
“Keep telling yourself this if it helps you sleep at night.” She rolls her eyes. “The point is that I can help you overcome these fears of failure, if you let me.” Stepping even closer to him, she takes advantage of him being lost in his thoughts and places her hands on his chest, his skin warm as always. “I know you, Ace.” She whispers. “I’ve told you before when you’ve let me in here.” She pokes right in the middle of his chest, where his heart is beating fast, with her finger. “You don’t want a happy stable life because you fear of turning into your own father, but with the right person by your side you will not follow his path.”
A reassuring smile is placed on her face as she looks up at Ace whose eyes are looking down at her. Seeing that her words have affected him, she raises on her tiptoes, leaning to place a kiss on his cheek, but Ace dodges it and takes her hands off him.
Neither of them says anything. They just stare at each other.
“Isuka…” Ace is the one to break the silence. “This might have worked on me before, but not anymore.” His deep dark brown eyes are empty. The tone of his voice is stone cold, but surprisingly even for Ace, quite calm. “You really thought that using my own traumas on me will get you what you want? You really think I’m this stupid?” A bitter chuckle escapes his lips. “I’ve moved on a long time ago and I think you must do the same.” Walking to the side where her bag is he holds it in his hand and hands it to her. “Have some self-respect and make a favour to both of us and just forget about me, and mostly the fact that there won’t be anything ever again between us.”
His hand is still in the air, waiting patiently for Isuka to take her bag and leave his place and life once and for all.
Tears of anger starts to build up in her eyes as she walks to him and snatches her bag from his hand. “Remember this day, Ace.” She says with a voice full of spite and venom, her finger pointing out at his face, his face indifferent to her actions. “You will regret turning me down later in your life, and you will come begging me to give you another chance, but it will be too late.”
Ace doesn’t even bother to look at her when she storms out of his apartment with a loud bang of the door following her as she shuts it close.
Falling into the sofa, with his face buried in the pillows he lets out a loud deep groan from the bottom of his chest. His head is aching. Isuka is definitely right about one thing – she does know him, and by this, Ace means that she knows how to take all the life and energy out of him. Right now, Ace feels like he has been through twenty-four hours shift in which the whole city is burning, and he is the only one there to put out the fire.
Noticing his owner’s distress, Kotatsu jumps on the couch and bumps his head with Ace’s, seeking his attention. Lifting his head slightly, Ace looks at one of his favourite beings on the Earth. “Hey, buddy.” Reaching with his hand, he gently scratches Kotatsu behind his ear. The orange fluff ball turns its head to the side and licks the palm of Ace’s hand.
A small, tired smile spreads across the edges of Ace’s lips. “You know Kotatsu…” He softly chuckles. “Finding you was the best thing to happen to me.”
As if he understands him, Kotatsu nestles his little head in the crook of Ace’s neck and starts purring while trying to help his owner.
While the fluff ball is cuddled up to him, Ace can’t help but repeat over and over Isuka’s words in his mind. What she has said is not true at all, but it still has managed to strike an unpleasant heavy feeling in his chest. A heavy feeling that he despises to have.
***
The past week has been quite busy for Ace. After his crazy conversation with his ex-girlfriend Isuka, the next day he went back to work till today the phone in the station has been ringing constantly. The guys and he have been on their feet in the past eighty-four hours, with barely six hours of sleep in the past three days, with now only twelve hours left until their shift is over.
Today is a bit quieter than the other days. The weather outside is quite nice; the sun is shining brightly over the city; a light warm wind blows the green crows of the trees creating a nice calm atmosphere around the fire station. A nice sunny day overall.
Since the morning the phone has rang two times. Thankfully, both times it hasn't been anything life threatening. The first call came from a woman whose child stuck his head in between the fence gap, and the other one was from an old man who has suspected that there might be a gas leak in his home, but it turned out to be a false alarm and it was some rotten eggs he had forgotten to throw away.
With no current calls the guys have decided to have an early lunch break. Thatch is the one who handles it all the time. The man has an extraordinary talent in the kitchen and none of the guys ever complain about his food. After all every time Thatch cooks it is like a fest in the station.
In the meantime, while the lunch is being prepared, some of the guys have gone to lay down for a bit, while Marco and Ace have decided to check on the gear and the equipment one more time by the fire truck while chitchatting.
“I don’t know how you manage to handle such long shifts.” Marco shakes his head as he handles Ace another mask for him to check if the air tank is properly connected to it.
Ace lightly laughs at him before he puts on the mask on his face and checks the airflow. Taking the mask off, he shrugs. “Don’t act like you’ve never done the ninety-six shifts.”
“Of course, I’ve done it, but till this day I find it crazy that you only do this and sometimes even more hours.” Marco chuckles. “Why don’t you change to twenty-four to forty-eight hours?”
Marco is one of Ace’s closest friends and he cares about the young man’s health very much. It has bothered him for quite some time that Ace is wasting his prime years on work, which is both physically and mentally tiring despite of what age you might be.
Marco and Thatch are always able to read him. When they saw how stiff and tense Ace was at work the day after his fight with Isuka (then unbeknown to them that this was the reason behind his bad mood), they knew something had happened. After a lot of nagging from Marco and Thatch, Ace told them about what had happened between him and his at this point crazy ex-girlfriend. It is pointless to say that both men were left speechless after they heard the story. It was only Thatch that made a comment among the lines - '' Ace always manages to get the crazy chicks .'', and despite it being just a joke, there was a lot of truth behind it.
Clicking with his tongue, Ace leans with one elbow on the side of the truck. “It’s not like I have anything else to do. At least at work I’m doing something.”
Ace doesn’t have a big social circle outside work. Sure, he does have quite lot of friends, most of them being from work anyway and he does see them almost every day, and the ones he has outside work he doesn’t feel the need to see them so frequently. He has become a firefighter six years ago, and for four years now, he has his schedule requested to be based on the 'ninety-six to forty-eight hours workplan', in which he works four full days in a roll with two days off, and so far, it works perfectly for him.
When he and Isuka were together, this was something that used to bother her a lot. The fact that Ace always prioritised work over their “relationship” had been an issue many times. In the beginning when they met, he had made it clear to her that the job would be always a bigger priority than she would be, and at first, she admired his dedication until she found herself spending days, if not sometimes weeks , without hearing anything from him.
But this is the life Ace has chosen, and he is happy with it. He is happy and content with how his days go by, the people he is surrounded by, the lovely fluff ball he has at home and the job he has and love. He won’t change it for anything.
“We always have something to do here, but you’re in your prime. You need to go out and have fun.” Marco copies Ace as he leans on the side of the fire truck, crossing his arms over his chest.
“How are things at home?” Ace changes the subject. Despite the content he has with his life, he always avoids thinking much about it, and recently his usual peace has been disturbed, and it has started to bother him a bit how people tent to tell him what might be better for his own sake.
“As good as they can be with three kids and all of them being in different ages.” A small laughter escapes Marco’s lips as he looks away for a moment. The images of his kids playing in his mind. Running his hand over his blonde hair he pulls it a but as he looks up at the ceiling. “It’s crazy to think that Sofie will be sixteen soon.”
Ace’s eyes widen. His eyebrows raise from what he hears. “Sixteen? No, man. You’re messing with me.”
“I wish, Ace. I wish…” Marco sighs. A half-bitter but loving smile makes its way to the corner of his lips. The realisation of his little girl growing up so fast still hard to comprehend.
Still shocked by the realisation of how much one of his best friends’ daughters has grown, Ace says out loud. “I swear it was like yesterday when I first met her and she was like – what? Eight? Nine?” The memory of the small shy girl he has met years ago surfaces in his mind. With her blonde hair and eyes same colour as her father, she used to be a copy of Marco when she was little.
Last time Ace had seen her was three weeks ago when he stopped by their house to take Marco’s youngest son – Mike for a few hours to look after him; after all he had promised him an ice cream once he was no longer sick.
That is when he last has seen Sofie, who now looks more of a mix of her father and mother, than just her father, but the fact that it has been seven years since Ace first has met the kid is crazy.
Marco takes a second to think before responding. “I think she was eight.” Marco says.
Whistling, Ace shakes his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe how fast the time went by.”
“Imagine how crazy is for me.” Marco chuckles. “It’s like yesterday when her mother told me she is pregnant with her, and to know that soon it will be sixteen years since I first held her in my arms is just heartbreaking and unbelievable at the same time.”
Ace smiles at his friend, admiring the love he has for his family, but then he raises one of his eyebrows in confusion. “Wait, haven’t you and Jolene been together for twenty something years? Didn’t you become a dad in your thirties? Like didn’t you waited for the kids a bit, I’m sure you’ve told me this.”
Laughing at the confused face of the hot-headed raven head in front of him, Marco shakes his head. “Oh, Ace.” He exclaims between laughter. “Jolene and I have been married for twenty-two years, but we’ve been together for twenty-nine -” Counting in his head, a big smile spread across Marco’s face. “Thirty in five months. We’ve had Sofie four years after we married.”
Trying to do the math in his head, Ace just waves his hand around, brushing the subject off, but not before messing around with his friend first. “Don’t worry, man.” He swings his hand and places it on the blonde man’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Soon these memories will be your safe place as boys start knocking at the door asking for Sofie.”
Marco glances with a roll of his eyes at Ace. “Not funny, Ace. It’s not the boyfriends that will come the scary part; it’s what boys want at that age that I’m afraid off.” Shaking his head, Marco takes off his glasses and press his fingertips to his temple. “Knowing how emotional Sofie is, I don’t think I’ll be able to watch her heart being broken by some stupid boy.”
Letting go of his shoulder with a pat, Ace pushes his body from the fire truck. “Come on, Marco. These are normal things all kids must go through at some point. She’ll be fine.”
“Who will be fine?” Thatch’s loud voice fills the place as he enters it with a big grin on his face.
“Sofie is turning sixteen soon and Marco is worried about her future boyfriends.” Ace looks at Thatch as he nudges Marco on the side with his elbow.
“Easy to say, Ace.” Marco chuckles as he glances at his friend with eyes a bit filled with annoyance, but voice with a slight note of mocking. “If you have a daughter one day, you won’t be so calm about it. Tell him Thatch.” Knowing what it is to have a teenage daughter himself, Thatch nods with sympathy at his friend.
Turning away from them, Ace puts back some of the equipment they have taken out of the fire truck with a mocking laughter.
“Don’t worry, Marco.” Thatch comes closer to the guys, his eyes on Ace’s back. “One day we will be the one making fun of him.”
Hearing this, Ace turns his head to the side and gives the men next to him a big smug smile with a click of his tongue. “You see, here gentlemen, you are pretty wrong. As I’ve said it millions of times, I plan to have no daughter or son of mine, so such problems won’t exist in my life.” His smile grows even bigger as he winks at them, their cocky smirks matching his.
“Keep talking like this and just for the jokes of it, you will end up with both.” Marco mocks him.
“Yea, sure.” Ace sarcastically chuckles.
Thatch opens his mouth to say something when his eyes lands on their boss coming in. “Pops’ here.” He tells Ace, making him look over his shoulder at the direction from which the Fire Chief of the station comes.
All three men stand straight and nod with their heads to show respect to their Chief – Edward Newgate the man everyone in all the fire stations around the city look up to and respect. He is a man with a lifelong experience at saving people's lives and extinguishing fires. For a man in his early sixties, he is in a quite good shape for his age – good looking, with tall broad muscular body, and his iconic white moustache which no one has seen him without it.
“Hello boys.” The Chief’s deep authority voice greets them. “Pretty quiet today, isn’t it?” The man looks around as he places his hands on the side of his torso.
“Please don’t say this Pops.” Marco begs the man with a desperation in his voice. “We all know what happens next after we complain about how quiet is.”
The elderly man’s laughter fills in the space. “True, true Marco.”
Every time someone makes this comment the phone starts ringing like crazy for the rest of the day like an apocalypse has taken over the city.
“Good thing we’re always busy, right Pops?” Ace clicks with his fingers and points to Chief Newgate for a backup to his reverse phrase of the matter.
“Always busy.” The man in charge nods. “ Thatch, lunch’s ready?” His eyes shift to the man who’s cooking skills the Fire Chief loves.
Spreading wide open his hands, the man in charge of the kitchen when he is on duty proudly says, “Ready and waiting for you guys.”
“Perfect, but before we go and devour the food-” Now the Chief’s focus shifts to Ace. “I need you to follow me to my office.” Nodding his head towards the staircase leading to the office upstairs, Chief Newgate turns and makes his way there.
Before Ace follows him, he exchanges a glance with his colleagues who encouragingly nod at him to go and see what the Chief might be wanting to see him for. “I’m sure it’s about the promotion.” Marco tells Ace, who he takes one deep breath as he slowly makes his way to his boss.
Watching him disappearing slowly from their view, Thatch crosses his hands over his chest and proudly nods at the direction where Ace has been a seconds ago. “He is getting this promotion.”
“Of course he is!” Marco agrees confidently. “Let’s go eat.” He puts his hands over Thatch’s shoulders and gives them a hard squeeze, making the man dramatically hiss from pain. “You’ve better made much food, because we’re definitely receiving good news in a few minutes.”
Shaking Marco off his shoulders Thatch starts walking towards the kitchen. “Easy there, these shoulders are not made of ste-”
“Excuse me!” A trembling female voice calls up from behind. The sudden interruption makes the two men turn around and their eyes lands at a girl standing by the entrance of the garage door.
It takes a second for Thatch to recognise you, his eyes widen at the sight of you. “Holy shit!” He whisper-screams to Marco. Turning his head to him, Marco gives Thatch a questionable look. “That’s the girl who Ace slept with a month or so ago. The runaway girl.”
Raising his eyebrows in supersize, Marco adjusts his glasses better and steals a quick glance at you before looking back at Thatch. “This is her? You sure?”
“Can't mistake this face.” Thatch laughs as he pushes Marco to the side and makes his way to you. “Hey, there. What brings you here?” As he stands now closer to you with his hand reaching out you recognise him immediately – this is Ace’s friend from the night you met, the one who hit on Boa, but as much as you try to remember his name it doesn’t pop up in your mind.
Taking his hand in yours, you give him a small polite smile. “Hey, nice to meet you again.” It is nice to see him here, because it won’t be so strange to ask him for Ace. An awkward silence takes over and as your heart is beating fast in your chest, the man in front of you catches your attention as you lock eyes and points at your hand which hasn’t let go of his yet. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” You immediately let go of his hand and take a step back.
Looking everywhere but at the man in front of you, you are a rack of nerves and as much as you try to hide it, both men in the garage notice your frightened wandering eyes.
Marco walks over to Thatch and with a very calm voice calls for your attention. “Hey, are you okay? Do you need help?”
This is harder than you thought it would be. Taking a deep breath in, your mouth runs dry and somehow speaking becomes a very difficult task to do. “N-no, I-I’m fine. Thank you.” Tracing your shaky hand over your forehead you can feel a cold sweat starting to form on your skin.
Thatch and Marco share concern and confused looks between each other before their attention goes back to you. “What brings you here?” Thatch asks you once again as you have ignored his question the first time.
Wiping the sweat off your hand in your jeans, you swallow hard as you have no idea how to answer without sounding suspicious or giving away the reason why you are looking for their colleague who has happened to knock you up. “I’m here because…” Coming up with a lie on the spot hasn’t been a strong skill of yours in the past few years. The two men in front of you cross their arms and patiently wait for your answer. “Because…” You drag the word longer and squint your eyes a bit like it will help you come up with something faster. “Because I need to apologise to him.” You babble.
It is obvious to them that you are lying and so it is to you that they don’t buy it, but after another shared glance between them they look back at you once again, this time a bit more carefully. “Apologise about what?” Thatch asks you, pretending not to know what you mean by this.
You curse yourself in your mind. Maybe Ace hasn’t told them about your little run away and why would he? What is he supposed to tell his friends – “ Yea, I slept with her then the next day I woke up to an empty bed with her panties left behind .” You are not sure for who it is more embarrassing – you or him. You can only imagine how much his friends would have made fun of him if he had told them about what had happened.
As for Marco and Thatch’s point of view, they don’t want Ace to deal with another crazy woman in his life. Isuka is enough. They don’t want to tell Ace this, but they are sure that she will make a comeback sooner or later, because she is definitely not done with him. Therefore, they can’t let another Isuka to enter his life.
Noticing their sceptical looks, you are not stupid to continue to lie to them, because if you do, they will think you are crazy and won’t tell you anything about him. “Look-” You tiredly start, your shoulders slumped. “I did something very rude towards him, and I really wanted to apologise for it, and I just wonder if he is at work today and if he isn’t could you please give him my number to contact me.” Slightly swinging your shoulder to move your handbag you open it and look around for a piece of paper and a pen. Finding what you are looking for you take off the pen cap and write down your name and number on it. “Here.” You hand the note to Thatch. “I'm aware that I probably look and sound crazy, but I really need to speak with him, so please, if he is not here, give him this and tell him to call me.”
There is something very sad and desperate behind your eyes and both men can see it. You don’t seem crazy anymore and the fact that you also acknowage it, makes them believe you that you are not ‘crazy’ about Ace in the same way his ex-girlfriend is. Of course, they don’t buy the whole ‘apology’ story, but something in you is making them believe you that whatever the reason behind your visit here today is, it’s an important one.
With a sigh, Thatch hands you back the note. “I’m sorry but we won’t give him this.” Your eyes widen, and lips part slightly as you try to think of something to make them give it to him. Seeing your panicked face, Thatch quickly reassures you. “I won’t give it to him, because he is here. If you sit over there and give me a few minutes, I’ll make sure that he will come and you two can talk.”
Following his hand with your eyes, which is pointing at the bench next to the garage entrance, you let out the breath you haven’t even realised you have been holding. “Thank you.” You whisper to the men, eyes moving from one to the other.
Slowly making your way to the bench you sit on it. The two men following behind you. “Do you want water or something else?” The blonde man, who you have never met before and you just realise this, asks you politely. “You don’t look good. Are you sure you don’t feel nauseous or sick? It is warm outside after all and such weather can make you feel sick sometimes.”
You don’t know who this man is, but you can tell by just looking at him that he is a good person. He is right, you do feel nauseous and sick, but the last reason for this is the weather outside, but you cannot tell him this. Instead, you just shake your head. “I’m fine. Thank you though.”
“Ace is currently speaking with our big boss, but I’ll go and let him know he must come here after he’s done with his meeting.” Thatch informs you.
“Thank you so much…” You drag your sentence again as you try to remember his name.
Getting the hint, Thatch lets out a light chuckle. “Thatch. And this is Marco.” He gestures with his hand towards the blonde man next to him.
“Yes, Thatch.” You smile as finally the name clicked to the face. “I’m sorry, I’m just very bad with names. And nice to meet you, Marco.” You reach out your hand to him as you introduce yourself.
“We’ll leave you for now, but we'll make sure Ace knows you are here.” Thatch pats Marco on the chest as he nods with head towards the staircase.
“If you need something let us know.” Marco says before they turn around and leave you alone. “What do you think? Why is this girl here?” Marco turns to Thatch as they are now far away from you, and you cannot hear them speaking.
“There are only two things that comes in my mind and none of them are good news.” Thatch shakes his head, not liking what might come next. He looks over his shoulder at you and your hunched body on the bench, you are definitely not here with any good news.
"Like what?" Marco asks as they get to the second floor.
"Think about it Marco." Thatch lowers his voice as they are walking down the hallway to the Chief's office. "Why would a woman you only met and slept once with might come after you?” The fact that the girl who has run away from her one night stand is now here looking for Ace at his work place is quite concerning, but what is even more alarming is the fact that you seem so stressed and tens that the only reason you might be looking for Ace it must be about something important. And bad.
Marco's eyes fill with panic as the realisation hits him. "You think she might be..." He doesn't want to finish the sentence and say what it might be it out loud, afraid that if he does it will manifest itself.
Standing in front of the Chief's office door, Thatch reaches out and knocks on the door, waiting for a response from the other side. “I doubt she is here to have a round two.” Hearing that they can come into the office, Thatch opens the door with a heavy and unpleasant gut feeling in his stomach.
***
Ace’s heartbeat is increasing with every step he is taking to the Chief’s office. He knows why he wants to speak with him, but Ace doesn’t want to get his hopes up. As much as he wants to get this promotion, he is aware that there are a few things missing from his resume that might cause a problem in the process of getting accepted to start the preparation of becoming a Captain.
Shaking his body a bit and jumping on his tiptoes he hypes himself up. “ Come on, Ace – you’ve got this .” He tells himself as he cracks his neck to the sides. Inhaling and exhaling deep breaths he stands in front of the office door. “If you get rejected, you can try again next year.” He murmurs, hand reaching for the doorknob.
Opening the door wide, Chief Newgate looks up from his desk to the young man in front of him. “Come on in, Ace.” The Chief gestures with his hand at him to get inside and sit. Ace nods and takes a step in, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on the chair in front of the desk of the Chief.
The office is quite small considering how big the station is. The old oak desk is placed in the middle, behind the desk the Chief is sitting on his big comfortable worn out from the years leather chair with a big window, with now open blinders, behind him, and the space around it filled with hanged certificates, awards, and photographs that highlight the achievements and history of the station. The right side of the room is entirely occupied by shelves, filled with folders full of documents and reports from over the years. A whiteboard, covered with important notices, schedules, and reminders stands on the left side of the room, but this time there are three pictures on it one of which belongs to Ace.
Following where Ace’s attention is stuck the Chief laughs out. “We need to submit a new picture of you, this one is quite old at this point.” Ace glances at his boss for a second and then back at the picture.
It’s a picture they had taken of him when he first joined the station as a firefighter. Hair even messier than now, his body way more skinner and lacking the muscles he has gained over the past years, and his whole face still having a boyish outlook, especially with the big grin he has spread across his face; he remembers when they were taking their entry pictures the Fire Chief told him many times to stop smiling, but Ace was so happy that he is finally becoming a firefighter that he couldn’t contain his excitement that day, so the photographer and the Chief just gave up and took the picture with him smiling like a kid who just won the biggest teddy bear at the carnival.
The other two pictures are of two other firefighters who work here at the station. Both of them very skilled and a bit older than Ace, and probably more deserving of the position for the new Captain for one of the teams here. After all they have applied for the position and have been through the other ranks, while all Ace did was to jokingly mention to Pops about promoting him for a Captain and a few weeks later, the man in fact submitted, and personally recommended him for the opening position.
“Yea, I look more handsome now.” Ace jokingly chuckles as he turns around to face the Chief.
The Chief’s loud laughter fills up the space. “Till this day it amazes me how someone so reckless like you is so good at his job.”
Laughing a bit awkwardly from embarrassment Ace runs his hand over his neck, trying to relax his nerves while throwing jokes around. “What can I say, Pops? I’m one in a million.”
“You sure are Ace. You sure are.” The older man in front of him says with a pride in both his voice and eyes. He still remembers the days when Ace used to be just a volunteer here in the station. Back then Ace was just a young pretty reckless hothead kid, who liked to hang around the fire station and jumping to help the men here anytime they would need help. Then one day out of nowhere he approached the Chief himself and asked him to join his fire station family, and the first thing Edward Newgate did was to laugh at the young man’s face, but then he saw how serious Ace was about it and told him what he must do to become one. A year later Ace became part of the best team in the fire station and now he is among one of the best firefighters in the city.
“You’ve probably figured out already why I called you in here.” Newgate leans back comfortably on his old chair, the chair making a bit of a squeezing noice from the pressure of his weight.
“I have a few guesses.” Ace shifts uncomfortably.
“There aren’t many young guys on the capitan position.” The Chief points out a very obvious fact to his subordinate. “How do you see life in five years Ace?”
The change of the subject and this question in particular does only make Ace more anxious. Why everyone today is on his head about the future. Shrugging like it is nothing Ace tried to keep his cool under his boss stern stare. “Same old. Hopefully alive and managing to save people when the time to do so calls.”
“Only this?” Newgate raises his eyebrows, a bit surprise by the indifferent answer he received.
“What else is there for me to want from life, Pops?” Even if it is a question the way Ace has said it sounds more like a statement.
“I don’t know, Ace.” Edward Newgate, or how some people like to call him – Whitebeard, is not the type of a man to tell people how to leave their lives. Fire Chief Edward Newgate is the type of person who acceptes everyone and respects the way they want to live their lives. “After all no one can tell anyone how to live their lives nor what choices to make.”
“Ai, ai Captain.” Ace chuckles with a nod, his eyes drifting back to the white board with the pictures. Biting the inside of his cheeks Ace doesn’t like how this conversation is going so far. He is the type of a man who likes to get straight to the point. Patience is something he is still lacking till this day and if it has been someone else standing in front of him right now he would have told them to cut to the chase. But he can’t tell such thing to the man he holds to the highest respect in his life.
Chief Newgate knows the young man in front of him very well, like his own son, therefore he can read him as an open book. He knows what he is doing to him currently and that he is impatient to know if he is appoved by the higher ranks to enter capitan level training or not.
“Do you think you’re ready for the position?” Newgate carefully observes the young man.
Without a second thought, Ace straighten his posture, his tin dark brows frowned a bit. Seriousness taking over his features. “Of course, I am.” He answers confidently.
“I never doubt this, boy.” The Chief nods.
Ace follows the Chief’s next moves with his eyes as he opens the first drawer under the desk and pulls out a big light-yellow envelope, his name written on it – Gol D Ace. “Congratulations, Ace!” The Chief says with a pride in his voice. “The higher ups have decided that you fit the criteria for the position. Your training starts next month. Better start to study, because there is more to read than weights to lift for these exams.”
Ace is frozen on the spot. His eyes are fixed on the envelope. He can’t believe it. He has been accepted. He might be a capitan by this time in six months if everything goes smoothly. This can’t be real.
Blinking a few times slowly, he swallows hard as he finally starts to snap out of his trance and reaches out for the envelope. Taking the envelope off the table he holds it in his hands in a strong grip. As much as he hates to see his legal last name written on it, the news are too good so he can ignore it. Looking at the Chief himself with a look that says – “ This better not be a joke or else I would die .”as to confirm that this is real the Chief just give him a firm nod.
With a sharp exhale, Ace finally tears apart the edge of it and opens it, pulling out the confirming documents that he is in fact approved by all the Chiefs of the city. A big grin spreads across his handsome face. He looks back and forth between the documents in his hands and the only man he considers as a role model in his life, with happiness and excitement sparkling in his eyes. “Chief, I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything yet, son.” The older man laughs at the child-like excitement of the young man sitting in front of him. “Getting accepted is the easiest part. Getting the position is the hardest.”
“But still…” Ace chuckles still in disbelief as he looks down at the papers. “If it wasn’t for you this wouldn’t have happened so soon.Thank you, Po-” A knock coming from the door interrupts him.
Both men turns their attention to the door, but before the Chief lets them in he turns to Ace. “Don’t mention it, Ace.” He then looks back at the door. “Come in.”
The door opens and two very familiar faces come to their view. “Sorry for the interruption, Chief.” Thatch gives him a quick apologetic look.
“We’re sorry, but we must let Ace know that someone is waiting for him downstairs and he must go there after you two are done here” Marco tells them the reason why they interrupt their meeting without wasting any time.
Raising one if his brows, Ace looks between his friends in confusion. Who the hell might be here to see him? Everyone knows to not bother him during his work hours. But there is only one crazy enough person to do so, and he hopes that she hasn’t completely lost her mind to such point.
“Who is it?” Ace gets up from the chair. The documents in his hand in a strong hold like he is afraid if he drops them the opportunity will slip though his fingers.
“You better go down and see it yourself.” Thatch says him, the way he looks at Ace tells him enough that it is bad news, and bad news means only one thing recently – Isuka.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ace curses under his nose as he covers his face with the envelope.
“Anyway, sorry for interrupting again Chief, but the person seems to be really in a need to see Ace.” Thatch gives one last look at Ace, before him and Marco closing the door and disappearing, not giving the chance to neither Ace or their boss to ask more questions.
Trying to contain his anger as now he is a hundred percent sure that it’s Isuka waiting for him downstairs, Ace turns to the Chief. “I’m sorry. I have no idea who it might be.” He chose to lie because the last thing he wants is to bring up his personal life into work.
“It’s fine, son. Go on, don’t make the person wait for you. We’re done here anyway.”
Ace just nods at the Chief and leaves the room in a fast pace. All he can think about while making his way back to the garage is that it is official – Isuka has crossed all the boundaries he has set. If last time he hasn’t made himself clear enough then now he will make sure she understands once and for all.
Reaching the garage, he walks in with a bang as he throws away the envelope on the coffee table they have by the stairs entrance. He is ready to scream this time. He is furious, but all of this goes away the second he comes from behind the fire truck and freezes on his tracks. Blinking a few times he can’t believe his eyes. Out of nowhere the anger he has felt a few seconds ago is entirely overtaken by embarrassment and confusion. In front of him, by the bench at the garage door, is standing no other person but the girl he would have never expected to see again in his life.
***
It has turned out that your therapist’s friend works for the biggest fire station in the city, and by a divine chance the man you have been looking for is working there. It has taken you a whole week to gain the courage to come and meet face to face with him once again. As much as you wish you could postpone this inevitable meeting, the time is quickly passing by and you must call Doctor Belladonna by the Tuesday next week, which is in two days, with your decision on whenever you are keeping Dot or not.
Before you come here you have tried to find Dot’s father though social media at least, but there has been nothing, so you come to the conclusion that this man might not have any social media or if he has he doesn’t go by his name.
Now that you are here and he is about to walki in any second now, your nauseous hits you like a truck. Someone comes in and you freeze until you see Thatch’s familiar face and let a sigh of relief.
“He will be here soon.” He informs you, coming closer to you. “Are you sure you’re okay? You does look sick.”
You are not surprised by this remark. Sleep has been an impossible task these days and so is eating, because most of the food you consume gets thrown up. It seems like Dot doesn’t really like what’s on your menu, but you are not entirely sure, because with your anxiety through the roof, it is hard to keep anything in your stomach. The only two thing that seem to hold on to you strongly are Dot and stress.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” You manage to say, avoiding looking at him.
With a sigh, Thatch calls out your name, making you look at him. “Look, I can tell you’re not here because you want to, but because there is reason behind it. But whatever it is, you can relax, because Ace is a good guy and you’re safe here.”
Biting hard on your lip, you slowly nod. “Thank you, Thatch.” You whisper.
“I’m gonna go now as Ace must come any second now. Take care.” He gently pats your shoulder and you just give him a small tight line smile as you watch him leave you alone.
How should you tell him? Should you even tell him now? He is at work, you cannot just tell a man who you have only met once that he might become a father in the middle of his shift.
Placing your hand on top of your stomach you gently rub it. You have caught yourself speaking with Dot quite a lot in the past few days. Dot is a great listener. It has to be because it doesn’t have ears yet, but it might be better that way. You doubt it wants to hear how you are contemplating whenever or not continuing its development.
“How do I tell him about you Dot? Please, if you have any idea in your brainless state hit me up. Apparently, I was in a brainless state when we made you.” You roll your eyes, pissed off at yourself and the man who has gotten you in this situation.
Lost in your thoughts as you gently caress your stomach, a loud noise makes you jump on the spot and just seconds later your heart skips a beat as you jups on your feet, panic overtaking all of you.
The man who you have been looking for in the past three weeks is standing in front of you frozen on his tracks and confused at the sign of you. All you can do is stare back at him. It has to be your pregnancy hormones playing with you because you swear this man has gotten bigger and even more handsome than he has been two months ago. Dressed in a dark compress shortsleeved T-shirt that defines every single muscle on his body, and a pair of causal black uniform pants, this isn’t how you have imagined him in your head or any firefighter. You kind of imagine them wearing their fire uniforms all the time, but by the looks of it so far, when there isn’t any emergencies the men around wear more comfortable clothes.
Shaking your head you scold yourself. This isn’t the moment to analyse the fashion choices of the fire department. Maybe you need to check with your mother if your brain has properly developed before she gave birth to you and if it did, maybe she dropped you a few times as a baby on your head because you are not thinking straight.
Neither of you dare to move or say anything. While you don’t know how to start the conversation, Ace doesn’t know what to think or do because the last person he has expected to see is you. The runaway one night stand. Why are you here? What would you possibly want from him? Seeing that you are not going to say anything any time soon, and Ace not being a man made of patience, he slowly walks up to you and stops just three steps away, giving you and him a space to breathe.
“Hey.” He greets you embarrassedly.
“Hey.” You whisper, unable to find your voice.
Placing his hand at the back of his neck, Ace squeezes the base of it, finding it extremely hard and awkward to initiate the conversation with you. “So… um… what brings you here?”
He is not trying to hide how awkward this is and you are a bit relieved to see and hear that this is as uncomfortable for him as it is for you. Grabbing instinctively a strand of your hair in between your fingers you start playing with it, this helps you a bit to collect your mind and remind yourself why you are here.
Inhaling a deep shaky breath, you start speaking with a trembling voice. “I’m here because I was wondering if we can speak…”
“Speak about what?” Ace narrows his eyes, studying you a bit by observing you. You look like a mess. Still breathtaking beautiful, he would be lying if he says that he doesn’t feel extremely attracted to the way you look, but you look like you might throw up or faint any second now.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you let go of you hair and clear your throat. “I don’t think your job it’s the right place for such conversation and I was wondering if you have a-” Throwing your hands in the air in desperate attempt to find a way to make this conversation go faster and smoother you think of what can be logical to suggest. “I don’t know, a lunch break or something, I have no idea how the firefighting job goes.” You bury your fingers in your hair, pulling it a bit as you walk away from him and out of the garage as even though the place is enormous and everything is open, there isn’t enough air in it for you to breathe in.
Panic is overtaking you not only from the inside but from the outside visibly now, which instinctively makes Ace professional mode turns on and he quickly walks in front of you and gently wraps his fingers around your wrists, pulling your hands away from your hair. “Hey, calm down and breathe.”
Part of being a firefighter requires also being able to perform all kind of first emergency help, one of them being helping a person breathe if they are visibly overwhelmed by panic. He starts to count slowly and lets you know when to breathe in and out.
Slowly your breathing goes back to normal and you can feel yourself calming just a bit, as much as a person in your situation possibly can. “Better?” Ace asks as he lets go of your hands.
Looking at his from under your lashes, you nod. “Yes, thank you and I’m sorry.”
Ace brushes you off with click of his tongue. Due to the state you are currently in, he realises that he cannot just ignore you, and apparently whatever you two must talk about can’t wait for tomorrow. Or can it? “Can’t this wait until tomorrow?”
It can, but you are not sure that you can handle another night of guessing what this man reaction might be, and how it will affect the decision you are about to make. “It can…” You says as you look away. “But if there is a way that we can speak about it sooner, it would mean the world to me.” You don’t dare to look at him. He has all the right to deny you and you must continue to suffer the consequences of your own actions.
Right now is quiet, if Ace speaks with his boss he will most likely let him go away for a bit. Sighing tiredly, Ace nods more to himself than you. “Fine, just give me a moment.” He tells you and walks away without giving you any chance to say anything more.
While he makes his way around the station to look for Chief Newgate, a very unpleasant feeling starts to form in his stomach. This can’t be good. He knew it that this day can’t be real and you popping out of nowhere just proves it. Getting accepted for a promotion – great. A girl you fucked two months ago showing up at your work place almost having a panic attack in front of you – not great at all.
By the way you look it must be only one thing – you must have tested yourself and found out that you are HIV positive and now he might be too. That night he has slept with you is the last night he will ever be sleeping with a woman he doesn’t know at all. This is what happens when he lets his dick takes over his mind – a complete mess.
Notes:
Uh, poor Ace he has no idea what it’s coming on his way… anyway he will live don’t worry, haha. I hope you like the little insight I gave you of his last relationship and a bit of his personal life in this chapter. With time there will be more things to reveal, just have patience. Also this chapter was so hard to title… and I’m still not satisfied with it… but I hope you like it. Another thing is that I have read so much about firefighters in the past few weeks so everything is accurate that my fyp on tiktok is only about firefighters hahah.
I’m quite excited for the next chapter as it will be a roller coaster of emotions for both Ace and Reader, but until then feel free to share your opinion about this chapter and the story so far. Feel free to give kuddos and comment ♡ Thank you all again ♡
Chapter 4: Chapter IV | Choices
Notes:
Hi, guys ♡ I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this chapter, I was just away for the summer travelling, but I'm back now and will try my best to post a new chapter every two weeks ♡ At first I was planing to make this chapter longer, but then I decided to break it here as the rest will suit the next chapter more. I have a little message in the end notes that I would appreciate if you read ♡ I hope you like this chapter, so no more yapping from me here - enjoy ♡
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The little bakery close by the fire station is the only place Ace has managed to think of which you two can go to and have a bit of privacy. The bakery is small and cozy with a nice outdoor space. Before even stepping inside, you are instantly welcomed by the gentle embrace of the scent of freshly baked croissants, their buttery sweetness mingling with the rich aroma of ground coffee and delicate pastries cooling behind the glass counter. Each inhale carries hints of vanilla, caramelizing sugar, and roasted beans, awakening your hunger and making your mouth water from the sweet aroma of the place, but with your anxiety through the rooftop you know that just one bite of the sweets in front of you will make you run to the toilet to throw up.
Like most bakeries nowadays, the interior is clean and simple, following the minimalistic trend going around for the past few years. Cream white sweeps across every wall as sunlight drifts in through wide windows, painting soft patterns on the pale wooden floors and the few tables inside.
Neither you, nor Ace, have said a single word since you left the fire station. Standing now in front of the bakery countertop a young girl behind it, probably in her early twenties, greets you with a smile and Ace by his name asking if he would like the usual, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he, and probably the rest of the firefighters, are regulars here. He nods to the girl and thanks her and then turns to you. Exchanging an awkward glance with him you clear your throat and order just a simple black coffee.
The girl’s eyes shift between you two, her smile not leaving her face. “Paying together?”
“Yes.” Ace doesn’t even bother to look at you as he answers her immediately as he pulls his wallet from his back pocket to pay.
You are about to protest, but he turns to you with a shake of his head and a small half smile placed on his lips. “Thanks.” You whisper.
“Would you like something else?” He points with his eyes towards the glass counter where the sweet bakes are, but you shake your head even though you have barely eaten today, and your breakfast has been long gone due to your constant morning sickness.
The girl asks you if it is for a takeaway or here and Ace tells her that you will take them here, so she pours the coffee into small white cups and hands them to him. Ace takes them and you both thank her before making your way outside.
The bakery is small and people who stop by usually take things for the go, so thankfully only two of the tables outside are taken and there is one available that is away from the other customers, so you and Ace take your seat there.
Sitting across each other, the awkward silence has taken once again. Not knowing how to drop the news to him, despite how many hours you have spent in the last couple of days, thinking over and over how to tell the guy you have had a one-night stand with that he has gotten you pregnant, nothing sounds sane enough in your mind right now: “Sorry for running away that morning, by the way – I’m pregnant.”, “How do you feel about fatherhood? Because you might experience it soon.”, “Knock, knock. - Who is here? The knock. – The knock who? The girl which you knocked up.”. Yes, none of this sounds right.
This is not your only worry. What if he gets angry and starts screaming at you or worse; what if he is aggressive? Maybe you should have called Boa or Marguerite to back you up, even better you should have called them both to come, but now it is too late. It is just you and him. And Dot.
Ace is quietly sitting across from you without saying anything. He just sits and observes you. The way you avoid his gaze, the way your fingers are trembling while nervously circling the rim of the coffee cup and the way you dryly swallow your words every time you take deep breath trying to speak up but fail to do so.
He is nervous himself, because why the hell the girl he has had a one-night stand with has been looking for him, and now wants to speak about something important on top of it, after almost two months since they last saw each other. If it is under some different circumstances where you two meet again, Ace won’t mind at all that he sees you. He will be lying to himself if he denies how attractive you are; for sure the most attractive woman he has slept with so far in his life is you.
The morning after the night you two spent together he woke up a bit disappointed but also relieved that you have left, or better said – run away, before he had woken up. Ace felt disappointed back then because he did enjoy the time you two spent together, not the sex (although he did really enjoy that), but the time spent before that. He had so much fun with you once you relaxed around him. Even got lucky to see a glimpse from your wild side for a moment, and he dared say you are someone completely different once you let go. If he had woken up next to you that morning maybe he would have asked for your number; not to have something serious going on between you two, but if you were down to hang out from time to time would have been nice, even if you two never had sex ever again, you seemed like a person who would be quite nice to call friend at least. But then he remembered how things with his ex-girlfriend started and ended so maybe it was for the best that you just woke up and left without leaving any trace behind you, but your panties – a little reminder of the mind-blowing sex you two had had.
Noticing how hard it is for you to start speaking, Ace takes it upon his hands to break the painfully awkward ice between you two. Fingers drumming on the coffee cup impatiently, he speaks up while avoiding looking at you, eyes focused on the coffee cup in front of him. “So-”
“I’m sorry.” You blurt out interrupting him, which makes him give you a questioning look with one of his tin dark eyebrows raising up and his head tilted slightly to the side. Seeing the confusion written on his face, you try to gather yourself and your thoughts together as fast as you can, because the sooner you tell him the faster you can deal with what comes next. “I-I’m sorry is how I should start.” You quietly say and finally dare to look at him right in the eyes.
“Sorry for what?” Ace feels even more confused now, because why and for what on Earth you have to apologies to him for.
Despite the warm weather and the nice warm breeze coming from the trees around, chills run down your spine, causing goosebumps through your entire body. Wrapping the palms of your hands around the warm coffee mug with a bit of a tremble you raise it up to your lips and take a little sip of the nice warm coffee and inhaling a bit of its aroma in attempt to calm yourself down.
Putting the cup down, your fingers stay still in a strong grip around it, not letting it go as your eyes have shifted away from his once again, and are now focused on your reflection in the dark coffee. “I-I’m sorry, for t-the morning after… you know.” You shrug with one shoulder, eyes not moving from your reflection. “I-I know that it was quite rude of me to just run away, and I didn’t mean to be rude or anything like this.” Still looking at the coffee cup you let go of it with your right arm and run it though your hair, your fingers immediately find the edge of a hair strand and wrap themselves around it. “It was something new for me.” You mumble and steal a glance at him and by the looks of it he is completely lost. “No, no, I mean I-I’ve done it before, not the run-away this was a first, but i-it’s been some time since the last time I did it and I-I m-mean, I-I’m not sleeping around don’t get it wrong, oh my there is nothing wrong with people sleeping around and if you sleep around is fine, I-I understand I did it for a bit in college but not like I was with different guys all the time, oh gosh I sound like a sex addict-”
This rant continues for a bit and Ace just lets you be. It is quite entertaining to watch and listen to it, to a point that he has leaned on with one elbow on the table with the palm of his hand pressed to his mouth as he tries to suppress his laughter, but the smile he tries to hide has reached the crease of his eyes, which don’t stay hidden from you for too long.
With heavy exhale you stop your ramblings of nonsense and look at him with tired eyes. “I’m making a fool of myself right now, am I?”
Propping his hand on the table and leaning on it he reveals his charming smile that got you hooked up with him in the first place that night he shook his head. “Nah, you’re good. Heard and seen worse than this.”
“Glad to know I’m not the craziest you’ve got.” You chuckle taking a sip of your coffee.
Smirking he doesn’t think twice and can’t help himself to stop before the words leave his mouth. “By what I’ve heard so far the craziest not, but maybe the horniest.” This makes you choke on your coffee from the embarrassment that takes over all of you, but despite that you laugh.
You haven’t laughed in weeks, and the man in front of you has managed to do this in less than twenty minutes since you have met again. This surprises you but also calms you down a bit because despite how ridiculous and confusing this all might be for him; he still finds a way to make you laugh and lighten up the situation. Just like that night two months ago.
Despite your reaction, Ace feels like he might have overstepped some boundary with you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it in the offensive way or anything like that.”
Finally calm enough you look him in the eyes without feeling any shame or fear in engaging a small talk with him. “No, don’t worry. It’s nice to laugh for a bit.” The bittersweet sadness in your voice can’t be hidden well behind the smile you place on your face, and this doesn’t go unnoticed by Ace. “But for real… I’m sorry that I ran away, I just wanted to save both of us the awkward morning after.”
Placing his hand on top of his chest where his heart is, Ace breaths out dramatically. “Oh, thank God, I thought for a moment that I was so bad that you couldn’t wait to run away from me.” This wins him another loud and sincere laughter from you.
“You’re probably used to it, aren’t you?” You glance at him with a wide smile, and he chuckles with his hands up in the air.
“What can I say, I tend to drive women away.”
“Well, I ran away I didn’t drive, so I guess this was new.” You murmur under your nose with the intention of him hearing you, which makes him laugh.
“Don’t worry. I would have probably done the same, who knows. So, no bad blood or feelings.” He assures you with another one of his charming smiles that reaches his deep brown eyes.
Seeing that you have finally relaxed to a point where you even allow yourself to joke with him, he hopes that this will give you enough confidence to talk about why you have come all the way here in search of him. “The fact that you ran back to me, which don’t get me wrong, as much as I’m surprised to see you it’s also nice, but… I cannot help and ask, why are you here?” Rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, his own anxiety starts to slowly form in the pit of his stomach. He is aware that you are not here to just apologies for your little run out or with good news and knowing that you two end up not using any protection he won’t be surprised if you tell him that you have gotten some STDs or worse - HIV.
The smile of your face is quickly wiped out and all your worries and anxiety come back at full speed. There is not a single trace of the freely joking girl from a seconds ago as she has gone back to being anxious and scared. Dragging a deep breath in you try to think of a way to bring the fact that you are pregnant into the conversation.
Shifting uncomfortably on the chair, you roll your shoulder blades and nervously start to play with the mug in your hands. “Um… I actually have some questions about that night…” You glance at him from under your lashes and he slowly nods as he shifts his body as uncomfortably as you on his chair and waits for you to ask your questions. “One of the things I’m mostly ‘curious’ about is-” You made a little air quotes with your fingers. “Um… did we use a condom?” You scrunch your face from cringe because you have never been a person who is shy about sex or speaking about it (until a few years ago) and now you feel like you are nine again when you asked your mother what sex exactly is for a first time ever after hearing your oldest cousins speaking about it.
“Well…” Ace places his hand once again on the nape of his neck as he looks at you a bit embarrassed as he hears you cursing under your nose. “Yes and no.”
Looking at him with widen eyes and eyebrows raised high you place both of your hands on the table and desperately ask him. “What do you mean yes and no?”
“The condom broke, so I tossed it away. But we did use one at first.” He explains.
You just stare at him without saying anything. The condom has broken. Mid act. And he has been aware of it. And instead of stopping or putting another condom on, he… he knocked you up. The conclusion so far from this – he is more stupid than you are.
Still trying to process why he hasn’t stopped or put on a new condom, you look at him again and remind yourself that it takes two for tango, and as much as it is his fault for you to end up pregnant, so it is his. “Didn’t we use another one after?”
“No, I was out of condoms.” He tells you and before you can ask him anything more, Ace’s patience has grown tin, and he just wants you to get straight to the point. “Look just let’s cut the chase and get straight to the point.” He snaps, a bit too harsh than he intended to come out; not only does the tone of his voice sound impatient but so is his whole-body posture, which startles you a bit because of how fast he seems to get hotheaded when his patience runs out.
“Please, calm down.” You whisper, your whole-body tense with fear.
Ace’s deep brown eyes fill with regret immediately because the last thing he wants to do is to scare you, and somehow, he has managed to do so, and thanks to his job and the education he has gone thought to get to where he is now, he clearly can see it now. You are not some shy anxious girl, which opens her shell from time to time to reveal her true self; it is worse than this. You have trauma responses, which are probably caused by an ex-partner or from some of your parents, but from your little ‘sex life’ rant, it is from some asshole from your past.
Cursing himself under his breath, he looks at you and calls out your name until you dare to look back at him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you or anything like this.” You can see that he is sincere, and he doesn’t mean to be an ass towards you. “I’m just aware that you’re not here with good news and… and I can be also anxious at times, and when I am… I tend to be a bit of a hothead, for which I’m sorry.”
What people don’t know is that firefighters don’t answer only to fire related emergencies. They answer to all kind of emergency from fire to abusive husbands to people trying to commit suicide. Therefore, Ace has learned that when someone is reminded of their trauma and their trauma response switches on, the only thing that helps is to be honest and vulnerable with them, for the person to trust and listen. That is why he tells you how he reacts sometimes when he is under stress; for you not to be afraid of him and talk about whatever you are here for.
You are taken by surprise by his honestly and you clearly see that he is not manipulating you into trusting him. Nodding your head more to yourself than him, you breathe out. He is right. It is better to get to the point faster than drag it for as long as you can because at the end of the day you must tell him about Dot.
“I promise, I’ll keep my cool no matter what sexual disease you’ve been diagnosed with, but please tell me it’s not HIV.” He tries to lightly joke, but now you clearly hear the worry in his voice. He is scared, and he has every right to fear something like this, but maybe this is better. This means that hearing that you are pregnant should be the lesser evil, right?
With an unpleasant chuckle, you shake your head, a bit relieved by his promise to keep it cool, and because it hasn’t crossed your mind that a STD is way scarier than a baby.
Grabbing your face with your hands and running them up to your hair to pull it at the roots, you mentally count to three and with one deep inhale and an exhale you just spit it out to him. “Ace, I’m pregnant.”
It is like the whole world, no – the whole universe has stopped for a second, because Ace cannot feel the ground under his feet, nor the air reaching his lungs. He has frozen on the spot. All the colors have left his face, and he looks exactly like you in the morning when you have to deal with your morning sickness. He is so frozen he is not even blinking.
“Ace…” You call out his name, but there is no reaction, just a blank stare. You turn to look behind you in case if he has seen a ghost or something, but there are only two elderly women sipping coffee with some cake a few tables away from you. Looking back at him, he is still as frozen as before. “Ace, please say something.” You reach with your hand and place it on top of his forearm.
Your touch causes electric chills to run though his entire body snapping him out of his trance before his eyes snap back at you. Nothing but panic can be read in them. Eyes shift between your face and the hand that is touching him, you get the hint and pull your hand back. Breathing deeply in and out, he looks at you and tries to speak up. “S-say that again…”
Unsure and confused you slowly nod and repeat yourself. “I’m… pregnant…”
Hearing it for a second time doesn’t make it less real or pleasant. This can’t be for real. Thinking about it now, he would rather get HIV than hear that he has gotten a girl pregnant. He doesn’t care if he will reach his retirement anyway nor he wants to live long, so he would definitely prefer a disease over a… he can’t even say the word in his mind without wanting to puck. Just thinking about it makes him gag.
Covering his mouth with the palm of his hand he does think that he will throw up any second now. “Ace are you-” He doesn’t let you finish as he lifts his other hand in the air and giving you a pleading look to stop speaking for a second.
You thought that you have had it badly when you found out that you are pregnant, but by the looks of it, Ace takes the news worse than you. Pushing your chair back, you get up from it. “I’m going to get you some water, okay?” All you get back as a response is a nod.
While you run inside the bakery to get some cold water, your words are echoing in Ace’s mind over and over again. “I’m pregnant.” - The words that he has never wanted to hear from any woman ever and his biggest nightmare have become a reality today. This must be some sick joke.
“Here.” He hasn’t noticed you coming back until you shake the ice-cold water bottle in front of his face. Removing his hand from his mouth as the awful feeling hasn’t gone away yet, he takes the bottle from you and drinks it in one go.
You just sit across from him without saying anything, giving him all the time he needs to prosses the news before you continues your conversation.
Trying to collect his breathing, Ace leans with his elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. This has to be a joke. He cannot be a father. How can he be so stupid and reckless with the only thing he has always made sure to be extremely careful with. Glancing at you from the corner of his eyes, it is now his turn to ask questions. “How sure are you that I’m the father?”
You expect this question, so you don’t feel offended by it. “You are the only man I’ve slept with in the past two years.” As much as you feel embarrassed to share your sexual life with him as he is still a stranger to you, he is Dot’s father and if you decide to keep Dot, this man will become part of your life permanently, if he wants too.
This piece of information makes Ace whip his head towards you so fast it almost made him snap his neck. This is all he needs to hear to confirm that this entire thing is a joke. “Okay, nice one.” He chuckles as he gets up and grabs his head with both of his hands looking at the clear blue sky. “Tell Thatch that I’m going to pay him back very good for this prank. Damn, he got me good.” Ace breathlessly laughs as he shakes his head.
Looking at him from your seat you raise one eyebrow in confusion. “Ace, this isn’t a joke. I am pregnant.”
Shaking his head, he looks at you and continues to laugh. “Yea, no. I’m not believing this shit anymore. I might’ve believed it if you’ve said you have slept with some other guy before or after me, but a woman like you too have been on dry for two years is ridiculous.” Gesturing with his hand at you and checking you up and down while saying all of this makes you sick to your stomach.
He asking if Dot is his is fine and understandable. But making such an offensive comment towards you like you sleep with every single man that crosses your path has crossed the line. “Excuse me? A woman like me?” You place your hands on the table as you stand up with look of disbelief on your face.
Coming closer to you, he stands and mimics your pose, still needing to bend a bit to match your height, he smirks at you. “Come on, you’ve got your act pretty believable until you said I’m the only one you’ve slept with in like two years. You’re way too pretty for men to not pay you attention.”
All you do is stare at him with disgust. He was too good by truth, and you knew it. Ace has just showed his true colors and for the second time in your life you have misjudged a ‘nice’ guy for a complete asshole. But as much as he disgusts you, he is Dot’s father and right now he is making the decision quite easy for you whenever or not you are going to keep Dot.
Sitting back on the chair you slightly turn around to get your handbag and prop it on your leg to search for the pic of the ultrasound and the pregnancy test. Despite how offended and angry you feel, you are doing this for Dot. Finding what you are looking for, you wrap your fingers around the pregnancy test and the ultrasound picture of Dot before taking them out and placing them on the table in front of Ace to see.
The smug smile he has on his face is gone, the second he sees what you place in front of him. The test can be questioned whether it is real or not, but the ultrasound picture seems to be real, way too real and detailed for someone to decide to go that far for a prank.
Slowly sitting back, he takes the picture and looks at it. You are pregnant and the biggest proof is the little dot-like thing on it that is barely visible. The sickness in his stomach comes back again. This is not a sick joke. This is a sick reality.
“This is Dot.” You softly speak, still mad at him, but when it comes to Dot you have a soft spot for them. “This is them when they were six weeks old, they are eight weeks now… and-” Taking a deep breath in trying to keep your emotions in check as when it comes to the topic whenever or not Dot will continue to grow bigger nor not is still a choice to be made. “And… I’m not sure if… if they should continue to grow… and I’m sure you know what I mean by this.”
Hearing this from you Ace gets a bit of hope that you have some common sense floating in your brain. At first when he hears that you have named the fetus already, he has thought that he is doomed and you want to keep it, but now there is a chance that you might do the right thing and get rid of it.
Ace might come up as an asshole sometimes, but everyone who knows him know that he is in fact a very good guy. After what he has told you he knows that you probably view him as one of those nasty men that just uses and manipulates women all the time for their own sick pleasures and right now, he doesn’t care. He is in fact glad you think this of him.
“And despite of your assumptions of me being a whore, I’m willing to even pay for the paternity test myself just to prove you that Dot is in fact yours.” You tell him with anger in your voice. Yes, now he is fully aware that he has messed up with you pretty badly, but this isn’t important now. Before he tries to do his best to get rid of that thing he has some questions himself.
“No need of paternity test.” He finally looks away from the picture and back at you. “I’ve asked you right after the condom broke if you were on the pill and you told me yes. How the fuck did this happened?”
Now this explains a lot in this whole messy situation, because you don’t remember any of this. “Ace, I’ve never been on the pill, nor do I remember being asked about it by you if I were! Let alone telling you yes about it.” Now it is you that snaps back at him.
Ace hates to see that despite your anger towards him, you are not lying. You are as shocked as he is to hear that you have never been on the pill. This is entirely his fault. He is now getting all the memories back from the night spent with you and that confirming answer from you has been nothing but a moan of pleasure.
Taking his head in his hands, with the picture in between his point and middle finger, he whines and curses himself. This is his fault. He admits it himself that this one is on him.
“If you knew that the condom broke, why didn’t you pull out?” This has been a question you have been dying to ask him since you found out that you are pregnant.
“And why didn’t you take a plan B the next day?” He snaps back at you, but this time his tone is gentler, and the question doesn’t come out in a way of blaming you for this, but it comes full of desperation, because the last thing he has ever wanted is a kid.
Slouching on the chair, you look down, avoiding his eyes as shame takes over you and the stupid mistake you have made. “Because I thought we used a condom.” You quietly answer.
“And I thought you were on the pill.” He replies.
Both of you stay silent for a moment. Both of you have many questions, but don’t know how to ask them. Both of you are afraid and regretful for your own reasons. Neither of you know what to do or say next.
“I’m sorry.” Ace breaks the silence; eyes fixed on the ultrasound pic.
Lifting your head a bit and looking at him with a slightly tilt to the side, you are not sure what exactly he is apologizing for. “For?”
As much as he wants to keep being an ass in your eyes, deep down he knows he will hate himself for offending a woman in the way he has offended you. His mother has taught him nothing but to be respectful towards women and if she ever finds out what he has said to the sweet girl seating in front of him right now, Portgas D Rouge, would beat the shit of her grown ass son.
“For getting you pregnant and for what I said early.” He first looks at you in the eyes with shame written all over his face and then his eyes travel down to your invisible stomach. “I didn’t mean to offend you by what I said earlier and believe me I didn’t mean that you’re a woman that sleeps around.” He has already knocked you up, he cannot embarrass himself more than this but still knowing what he is about to say next makes the tip of his ears burn. “What I meant is that you’re way too beautiful, especially for a guy like me, and I must be a fool to think that you don’t have many guys waiting for you to just glance at them.”
This is not what you have expected at all. An apology. Especially not an apology for either of these matters at all from him, or any men to begin with. You are more than surprised to hear it let alone receive it. You also don’t expect any compliment from him but hearing that he thinks that you are beautiful makes your heart skip a beat, but you ignore it because this is not of importance right now.
Maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, part of you think that he has taken the news of your pregnancy worse than you have and you think he is still not done processing it. “It’s fine. I didn’t expect you to be happy hearing that I’m pregnant. And this pregnancy is not only your fault.”
It pains him a bit that you are so understanding, and not bitchy and blame it all on him, then you can easily fight, you can see how shitty he can be and realize that the biggest mistake you can ever make in your life is to have a child with him.
One thing Ace has learned so far by being in your presence is that you do not fall for bullshits and if he wants you to abort this thing growing inside of you, he must be a hundred percent honest with you.
“Look.” He starts as he licks his lips and bites hard on his lower lip as he shut his eyes closed for a second, only to open them again and find himself still holding onto the picture of the ultrasound. “I must be honest with you. I’ve never wanted to be a father.” Turning the ultrasound picture toward you, he shrugs. “This doesn’t bring up any emotion in me.” Giving the picture back to you, you take it from his hands and look at Dot.
By now Dot has grown a bit. From what you’ve researched, Dot should be the size of a raspberry by now. “I didn’t show you the picture to feel something. I showed it to you as a proof that I’m pregnant, but if you still don’t believe me, we can always do a paternity test.” You don’t feel offended or mad at him for not feeling anything for Dot. The only thing you feel is jealousy. You wish you didn’t feel anything towards the little raspberry growing inside of you, but you do and that is your problem. “I just waned to find you and let you know about Dot, whenever I decide to keep it or not.” Placing your hands on the sides of the now cold coffee mug, you fix your attention to it as you play around with it. “Whenever you decide to be part of their life or not, I’ll respect it.”
Ace cringes when he hears you calling the thing ‘Dot’, making you sound so loving and attached to it, but he is also taken by surprise by your words. He is fully aware that if he has no saying in your choice of keep the thing or not (because he cannot call it a baby, the word itself makes him feel sick), but he is surprised to hear that you are willing to give him the choice whenever or not to be part of its life.
“Wait, let me get this straight if I understand correctly.” He waves his hand in front of you to get your attention. Once you eyes are fixed on him, he continues. “So… you’re still not sure if you want to keep it or not, but also if you keep it, you are fine with me not being part of its life?” He must have missed something you have said before because there is no way in this world that any sane woman would say such thing.
“That is another reason why I wanted to speak with you.” Eyes shifting between him and the ultrasound of Dot, you can feel the emotions starting to bubble inside of you. “For the past three weeks that I’ve known of Dot’s existence, I no longer know what is right and what is wrong.” Your eyes start to water, and you look up as you try everything to keep them from falling. “I know what the right thing to do is, but then there is this part of me that screams at me that if I do it, I’ll regret it till the rest of my life. But then this decision will not only affect my life, but two others as well.” A single tear falls from the corner of your eye, but you quickly wipe it away, not wanting to let him see you cry. “Especially now, hearing how you never wanted to be a father, I cannot put you in a position to be one. This will be so selfish of me to do.” And you have been selfish only once in your life so far, and funny enough, it was also a life-changing choice that you have made. “On the other hand, I’m pretty confident that I can manage to take care of a child all by myself without even needing child support or anything like it, because I’m already established in my career. So, to make myself very clear, I want you to know from now on that no matter if I keep Dot or not, with you being part of their life or not, they’ll be very loved and well taken care off.” You finally dare to look at him with bloody red eyes and all the power in you not to cry.
Ace doesn’t say anything as his brain is trying to assimilate everything you have just said. The only conclusion he has reached so far is one – he always gets the crazy ones, and you are not an exception to it.
“Please, say something…” You beg him.
Running a hand though his face, his eyes settle on you, and he gives you a shrug. “I don’t know what to say (Y/N).” His mind is a mess. His biggest nightmare has come true, and he has no idea how to handle it. He wants to scream and punch something just to let go of the unpleasant emotions he is feeling right now. Ace wants to scream and blame you for this, but in the end, he blames himself more than he does you. You do seem like a girl who would want to be a mother and surely will make a good one too. Of course, you are already attached to the thing growing inside of you, but if he can somehow change your mind, now is his chance.
“You’ve said it yourself that you know what the right thing to do is, and I support you a hundred percent on this decision. Because just think about it for a second; there is no doubt that you will do great as a single mother, but if you decide to keep it, I won’t let you be one.” You stay still and quiet listening to him, because you can see he has a lot to say. “But I’m not the type of a man that is cut to be a father, you know? I might be the same age as you, but I’m still reckless as hell. I’ve never committed to anyone so please don’t expect anything like this from me because you’ll never get it. On top of it my work takes eighty percent of my time which means that I’ll be barely around, so despite being part of the kid’s life, I won’t be the most invested father to begin with.” If he have to call himself a ‘father’ one more time Ace will throw up for real this time. “Every kid deserves to be loved by both its parents, right?” He glances at you waiting for a response, but you decide to say nothing, because this is another painful subject for you to talk about. “Look, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think I’m the right man to have a child with, and you look like a woman who deserves someone good.”
He is right. About everything he has said, he is right. You know that he is right, but you wish he isn’t.
The sadness in your eyes is clear from miles away and Ace can see it, but this is a serious matter, and he needs to be honest with you, because having a child is not the same as having a puppy. That is why you must know and think carefully about what he can bring to the table in case you decide to keep the child.
“Thank you, Ace.” You say after some time. “I think I needed to hear this to make up my mind.” Reaching from the pregnancy test, you put it back in your handbag together with Dot’s ultrasound picture. “I have time until Tuesday to tell my doctor what my final decision is so… if it’s okay can I have your number to let you know as well?”
Ace nods and you give him your phone to put his number on it. He hands it back to you and you thank him. “I must head back to the station; I’m a bit over my break.” He tells you as he gets up and waits for you to do the same.
There is nothing more you two can speak about anyway. Both of you are mentally exhausted after this conversation and need some time off to think clearly and make decisions.
Leaving the bakery you slowly make your way back to the fire station. Just like when you have left it, the way back is spent once again in silence. Before you reach the fire station, Ace turns and looks at you. “How are you getting back home?”
“I’ve stopped my car at the parking nearby.” You tell him and he nods.
“Nice. Well…” Ace point with his thumb behind his back at the fire station. “Hear from you soon?”
You nod with a hum. “Yes, I’ll try to take the decision as soon as possible.” Standing awkwardly in silence with just the wind around you making sound as it dances around the crowns of the trees, you click with your tongue and clap with your hands catching Ace’s attention. “So, my time to run away has come once again.” Softly chuckling Ace agrees with you.
You turn away without saying anything, making your way to the parking lot when he shouts out your name, making you turn around to look at him. “Goodbye, runaway girl.” You give him a small smile and a wave before continuing on your own way.
***
The moment Ace walks into the fire station he runs to the toilets, because he can no longer hold how he feels about eventually becoming a ‘father’. He would never have guessed that he could throw up because of bad news, but there is always a first. Flushing the toilet, he gets out of it and goes to wash his hands as he looks at his reflection in the mirror as he lets the water run on his hands.
This can’t be real. This has to be some very long and vivid nightmare he is having after a long shift at work. He still cannot believe that this might be happening. All of this because of some misunderstanding, for which he blames only himself, after all he is the one who didn’t pull out, not you.
You. Why do you have to be so understanding and make things harder for him. He still cannot believe how selflessly you have told him that you would understand if he didn’t want to be part of the kid’s life, because this compensates for not having a choice whenever you keep it or not.
He hopes; no – he prays, despite not being religious that whatever God or power is out there will bring some sense into you, and you get rid of the thing. Ace cannot be a father, but he won’t let you be a single mother if you decide to keep it.
Despite being married, his mother has taken care of him and his brothers all alone, while his ‘father’, whom Ace always call by his name – Roger, was always at sea. Roger would come home like two times per year, for a month at best and then leave again.
When he was a child he didn’t see or understand how hard it might have been for his mother to take care of three very mischievous and stubborn boys, but once Ace started growing up and saw the world from an adult perspective, he never understood why his mom never left Roger. A man who was never around and was a father only on paper.
Splashing some water on his face to gain some sense, he reminds himself that he must get his shit together because he is at work, plus you still haven’t made up your mind. He might be lucky and get a call from you in which you say that you will get the abortion, and it all will be back to normal.
“I got this. I got this.” Ace keeps on telling himself as he goes out of the restroom and makes his way to where his fire crew is.
Marco and Thatch are the first ones to see him, and both walk to him, worry clearly written on their face.
“Hey, man! You good?” Thatch places his hand on Ace’s shoulder and gives him a strong squeeze, one that says whatever is going on you have us.
Biting on his inner cheeks the dark-haired man just nods, unable to find his voice at the moment.
“Ace are you sure you are okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Marco adds as he scans his friend from head to toe. “What happened? You’ve been gone for quite some time with this girl.”
“Yeah, what happened? What did she want from you?” Thatch asks taking a step closer to Ace, which makes him feel suffocated and he cannot take any more conversations or questions for today. Pushing Thatch’s hand away from his shoulder, he also pushes his friends to the side as he passes by them.
Thatch calls his name, ready to go after him, when Marco puts a hand on his chest and shakes his head. “Let him be. By the looks of it, it might be worse than we thought.” Both look at the direction where Ace is standing all spaced out and not saying anything, and this continues till the next morning when their shift is over.
Ace leaves without saying anything to anyone. He doesn’t have the energy for any of it as he barely has slept due to his mind worrying about what is about to come next.
If only he could turn back time he would have never even speak with you just to be sure that this mistake would never happen. If he can be grand one wish right now, it will be for you to make the right choice and save you both of parenthood. He feels bad but part of him hopes that if you decide to keep “Dot” (that fucking nickname has stuck to his mind like a parasite), some miracle might happen, and you will miscarriage it and he will get to live his life the way he has always wanted it – with no regrets for nothing.
Because Ace has never regrated anything in his life… so far. And he will give anything and everything to keep it that way, but now this is all in your hands. His, yours and the thing growing inside of you – all your futures depend on the one single choice you must make by Tuesday. And something in Ace’s gut tells him that it will not be the choice he would like to hear.
***
It has been three days since you have met and spoken with Ace, and you are a mess. You don’t know what to do. Again.
One second you are sure that you have made up your mind and you are going to call Doctor Belladonna to schedule your abortion, then just when you grab your phone you change your mind and open Instagram or TikTok, and of course, thanks to the algorithm, the first thing to comes up is always a video or a picture of a cute baby and your mind runs back to your little Dot and how you cannot say goodbye to it.
Today is Tuesday. You must contact Doctor Belladonna’s office by five in the afternoon to let her know your decision. For these past three days you haven’t heard anything from Ace, and you haven’t contacted him either. After all you have made a “deal” that you will contact him only about the decision you make, not for small talks.
It has been three very long and sleepless nights, where you have been tossing around in bed unable to sleep as time is ticking and you are running out of it too fast.
You have had a pregnancy scare once before. Four years ago, to be exact. You were still with your ex-boyfriend at the time, and you remember that back then you had known that no matter what you would get rid of it. It wasn’t about being so young back then, it was more about that deep down you always knew there was something sketchy with your ex, and the last thing you wanted to bring to this world is a child with a man like him.
But now… now is different. Now you are in fact pregnant, and it is not just a pregnancy scare. On top of it, you are pregnant with a total stranger’s baby - who, by the way, has never ever wanted to become a father, which makes the situation even more messier, because despite not wanting to be a father, he has made it clear that if you keep Dot he won’t let you raise it alone, but how selfish you must be to do this? To make someone be something they never wanted to be is such a cruel and selfish thing to do.
Then there is another thing that bugs you. Why does Ace think he is “not cut” to be a father? By what he has shown you so far, he seems like a well-grounded person. A well-grounded man. Even when he offended you, you clearly saw that he was sincere when he apologized about it and explained that this wasn’t what he meant. There is something about this man that tells you that he is a good man… but could you be wrong about this?
His reasoning to not be a good father is good. His profession is risky and takes a lot of his time and personal life, but many firefighters have families without any problem, but then again – he has said it himself: he doesn’t want to be father nor a family man. Maybe he grew up in a shitty home himself. Not that you will want to start family with him, but Dot deserves two parents. Two loving parents. Every child deserves loving parents. If you keep Dot, can you manage to give them enough love to fill up the gaps they might be missing from their father?
You don’t want Dot to grow up feeling unloved. You don’t want Dot to grow up like you. With parents who are barely there and making them feel unloved or unwanted, because their career or business comes first. You don’t want Dot to grow up with low self-esteem and someone to take advantage of their kindness in their lowest moment, just because they are willing to do anything to feel loved by someone.
Will you be enough for Dot? Because if you keep it, you will have to make it clear to Ace that if he wants to be part of their life he must be there all the time, not just on birthdays and some events like the end of kindergarten or the first day of school, because if this is how he plans to be included in Dot’s life as their father, he better not be part of it at all.
You grew up with parents who were there only for the major events that required all parents to attend, but other than this they have never been there for you. They have always been there financially, but never emotionally. You don’t want this for Dot.
But you can’t require something like this from Ace, neither can you stop him from being part of his child’s life, because at the end of the day Dot is as much his as they are yours.
What if you are the one who lets Dot down? What if you turn into your own parents and Dot spent their life looking always for your approval? Or worse you are the one who will fuck them up by becoming the worst mother to exists and in the end, they hate you for ruining their life and even giving birth to them?
Sitting with your knees bend and legs close to your chest on the couch in the middle of the living room in your spacious and luxurious apartment, you give yourself ten more minutes to make the decision of your life and call Doctor Belladonna with your final choice.
The sunlight coming from the big arched-shaped windows reflects on the coffee table in front of you and all the latest fashion magazines laying on them. Most on the faces on the covers are clients of yours, or people who are trying to get ahold of you to represent them. It is unbelievable how fast your name has become important in the world of fashion when it comes to representing models, despite all the insecurities you have within yourself.
You have finally made progress in your life after you have left your ex-boyfriend and all the trauma, he has caused you though his emotional and mental abuse. There has been finally some light in the tunnel for you to start getting your old self back and… and life throws another challenge at you.
Even when you were with him you were on top of your career. There are people out there who will kill to be in your position. Pregnancy won’t affect it much, but it will affect it once you give birth because for just a moment you will have to step down, and like many other professions this one is also not very nice when it comes to motherhood. Sometimes just a moment away can cost your whole career in the industry you are in. On the other hand, you have your best friend Boa, who is currently the most famous and wanted model to work with, who you know will never betray you and with whom. As long as she is in demand you will be as well, because no one can handle managing this diva like you do. Only you.
But you don’t really care whenever or not you will be at the top again. All that will matter if you keep Dot is to be the best mother they can have. But can you do this? Can you be the best mother for the little raspberry growing inside of you?
“I can.” You whisper to yourself; a tear falls down from the corner of your eye as you gently caress your stomach. “I can and will do anything to be the best mother out there Dot… but not now.” An agonizing cry leaves your lips as you hold your stomach with one hand and with the other clenching your phone. “I’m sorry, Dot.” You speak to them, something you have been doing a lot in the past week. Dot is such a good listener, despite not having any hearing developed yet. They don’t judge or argue with you, they just listen.
Hopefully Dot will also understand. Understand that this is the best choice to be made at the moment. You cannot be selfish. As much as you want to, you cannot afford to be.
Looking up at the ceiling you sniff as you try to calm yourself down. Your eyes are shut, and you squeeze them so hard, wishing that when you open them it will all have been a bad nightmare and none of it will be true, but the reality is different. This is true and this is happening, and you can’t do anything to change it.
“Please…” You plead to whatever power is out there. “Please, if I am making a mistake give me a sign or something… anything…” You cry out quietly and then stay silent for a moment.
Nothing. There is nothing. No sign, no noise, no movement. Just silence.
Taking a deep breath in you wipe the tears from your face with the back of your hand and look at the lockscreen of your phone. Ten minutes have passed. The time you have given yourself is over.
Swallowing hard, you unlock your phone and dial Doctor Belladonna’s number. You wait for a bit until you get a response from the other side. “Hello! This is Doctor Belladonna’s office number; how can I help you?” You recognize the voice coming from the other side. It is the nurse working with your obstetrician.
“Um… hello…” You quietly speak up and tell the nurse your name. “Could I speak with Doctor Belladonna myself?”
“Yes, of course. She has been expecting your call today. Could you please hold the line so I can redirect you with her?”
“Yes, of course.” You tell the nurse and wait to be redirected with the doctor herself. While waiting you shift your body a bit to reach the coffee table and take the ultrasound picture of Dot. It has been almost three weeks since your first ultrasound. You wonder how big Dot will appear now in the picture.
Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear the doctor’s voice from the other side. “How are you today (Y/N)?”
Deep sigh leaves your lips. “I’ve been better.” There is no point lying to her.
“I understand. Have you made up your mind?”
Taking one last look at the ultrasound in your hands you breathe deeply. “Yes, yes I have.” Doctor Belladona lets you take your time with your answer. “I… I-I would like to schedule an abortion, but can we do it as soon as possible?”
“Of course. I will have my nurse contact you and give you the first one available.”
Doctor Belladonna and you say your goodbyes and the line cuts. A few minutes later you receive a message:
[Doctor Belladonna’s office]: Thursday 17:00 – Medical Abortion
Without wasting any time, you dial Ace’s number. It doesn’t take even two rings before he picks up. “Hey.” His voice sounds a bit raspier than usual.
“Hey. Is it okay to speak?”
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I just spoke with my obstetrician, and… I… I scheduled for abortion.” There is no response from the other side. “I must go there on Thursday at five in the afternoon.”
“Okay.” Is all he says, but what else is he supposed to tell you?
“Ace…” You feel your voice starting to tremble. He hums in response. “Can you come with me? I don’t want to do this alone... I-I… I don’t think I can do this alone…”
He is again silent for a bit and before you can tell him that this is a stupid request of yours and that he should forget about it, he interrupts. “Of course. Just text me the address and I’ll be there.”
“I will… thank you.”
“Nothing to thank me for.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.” With this the line cuts once more and you are left alone.
Throwing your phone to the side, you lay on your couch with tears streaming down your face. You wish all of this was different, but it isn’t. This has been the right thing to do from the beginning. There is no going back now. You have two days left with Dot. Two days in which you have the time to say your goodbyes with them.
Notes:
I want to start with a little message to all of you beautiful people out there: If you have been through something like Reader and Ace, you are not alone and whatever choice you have made that was your choice and it was the right one ♡ I hope you remember that everyone has their own and different path in life, and if it wasn't the time for this - it is fine, don't blame yourself at all ♡ I believe this is a step in life that should be done when you feel ready and when you feel like you want it (and if you never want something like this it is also fine ♡), so again no matter what choice you have made remember - it is always your choice and your body and no one can ever take this from you ♡ Also you are not alone in this and if you feel like speaking with someone about it my messages are always open to listen to you ♡
I hope you liked this chapter, and as always every kudo and comment is deeply appreciated by me ♡ Thank you for all the love you give to this fic, I'm beyond grateful to all of you ♡
Take care and don't forget that you are never alone ♡
Rowanwillow on Chapter 1 Sun 08 Jun 2025 08:04AM UTC
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Rowanwillow on Chapter 3 Tue 05 Aug 2025 04:10PM UTC
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Rayeedelacarte on Chapter 4 Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:26AM UTC
Last Edited Wed 27 Aug 2025 12:34AM UTC
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inneruniv4rse on Chapter 4 Fri 29 Aug 2025 07:17PM UTC
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