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After many years Voldemort has finally been defeated. Everyone had been celebrating, but Merlin’s face was blank as ever.
Sure, he helped from the sidelines with bits of old magic, but if he'd been allowed, all this would have taken less than a minute with only one casualty. But no. Fate had been insistent as ever on limiting his role in helping.
It's not even a surprise at this point. Merlin has grown numb to the ones he has been forced to sacrifice and let die in the crossfire. Even with the celebrations, one thing is clear. If Arthur hasn't been brought back all the previous times the world has been in greater danger, nothing short of a nuclear war will.
So here he sits, under the shadow of a large tree in spring fidgeting with his pendant, the only reminder he has of Arthur. Every student in Hogwarts was forced to retake the previous year after that fiasco, and Merlin, or rather Matthew Eeriks, had not been spared. The year is nearing its end and many of the students and faculty are enjoying the sunshine outside.
When the lake starts glowing Merlin doesn't pay any attention to it. It's another one of his hallucinations, like the one where his Arthur wraps him up in a familiar hug and tenderly kisses his neck.
The first sign that something is odd comes after the light fades. Everyone has fallen quiet. The second is that when Merlin lifts his eyes to look at Arthur, everyone else is looking in the same direction.
The last third strand of disbelief snaps when Arthur sees him and calls his name and all around them are gasps, as if they too heard Arthur speak.
Merlin has only time to shakily stand up before Arthur is in front of him.
“Is it you? Have my prayers been answered?”
Is it really him standing there, or is Merlin dreaming once more? If this is a dream then Merlin will wake heartbroken like always.
It's no matter, as when Arthur cradles his face in his larger hands, Merlin throws all caution to the wind and drops his glamour. With it gone Arthur breaths out a sigh of relief before his expression turns to concern.
“You look different, your eyes are tired. You’re even thinner than you were, and your smile, it's… torn.”
When Merlin doesn't say anything he steps closer.
“Please answer me Merlin.”
Merlin can't take it anymore and steps back. He can't stand the hurt look in Arthur's eyes so he turns away. He can't let Arthur be dirtied by what he has become.
“I am not the man you fell in love with, the one you adored. I am no longer kind or gentle like you knew me to be before.”
Merlin closes his eyes for a moment before turning to Arthur.
“I don't know if you'd fall in love with who I am now. I've done many horrible things while you've been gone and I can't change the past.”
Arthur takes a step closer, but Merlin keeps back. He lookes hurt at the distance but asks.
“What did you do Merlin?”
Merlin takes another step back to lean on the tree.
“I've left a trail of red on every continent with hundreds of thousands dead at my feet. I sold out friends and allies like cheap beer and left my enemies with scorched earth. All this in service to Fate, so that one day I might see you again. So tell me,”
Here Merlin pauses for a moment. He has no right to ask Arthur this. He knows it's selfish, but selfish is what Merlin has become.
“Would you fall in love with me again? Even though I'm not the man you married.”
With no hesitation, Arthur walks forward and takes off both of their necklaces. Merlin doesn't resist, even though he feels his heart breaking.
“If that's true, would you do something for me? A small thing that would bring me peace.”
“Sure.”
Arthur offers the necklaces to him.
“See these pendants? Could you destroy them and scatter their pieces far away from here?”
Merlin freezes. Anger and grief start to take over his mind.
“How… how could you say that? I made them with my own two hands. Forged them with the breath of the two remaining ancient dragons. These are the symbols of our love. Do you even know what you're asking!?”
For the first time in centuries, Merlin shouts. He knows that he's letting his magic loose on the surroundings but he doesn't care. How dare Arthur ask him that?
“The only way to destroy them is with Excalibur!”
Merlin reaches to pull the sword out of Arthur's scabbard but his wrist is grabbed at the last second.
“Only my husband knows that. Only you know that”
There is a long silence as Merlin processes that. Arthur only scoffs at his dumfounded expression.
“Don't be an idiot Merlin. Of course I still love you, even when you're being stupid.”
Arthur barely has time to finish his sentence before Merlin is kissing him. When they finally part it feels like too soon.
“How long was I gone?”
“Fifteen hundred years.”
Arthur squeezes him harder.
“I'm sorry. I love you.”
“I love you too. Don't apologize, you prat. It wasn't your fault.”
“Still. You were alone for so long.”
“Ahem!”
As one they turn to look at who interrupted them. Merlin recognises headmaster McGonagall.
“As heartwarming as this is, you two should-”
“No.”
“Merlin!”
“What?”
Arthur looks at him disapprovingly.
“Why won't you let the lady finish?”
Merlin just rolls his eyes.
“Have you forgotten already? I have no interest in being polite or heterosexual.”
Arthur sighs.
“Why are you like this?”
Merlin only smirks before teleporting them away, leaving behind a confused crowd of wizards.