Chapter 1: Welcome to The Happy Hotel!
Summary:
Lucifer and his flock come to help Charlie!
Notes:
Hello! Welcome to my fic! Just a quick notice beforehand that Lucifer is SUPER out of character in this and I'm not at all sorry for it. Lucifer not owning any souls in the show makes like zero sense to me. This fic contains spanking of an adult (Alastor) and will follow the overall plot in the show with major tweaks and more filler in-between plot points! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Charlie wandered over to a medium sized, dusty crate and sat down, staring at her feet while Angel Dust rooted around in a small refrigerator. His sought after prize, a box of Popsies, was quickly ripped into. He placed a popsie on his tongue, staring off into space for a moment before turning back to Charlie.
“It’s prolly a good idea to get some actual food in this place.” He said, a small, almost mocking smile on his face as the popsie dripped onto the wooden floorboards. “Y’know, to feed all the wayward souls ya got in here.” He laughed sharply, but his glee at his own jab quickly disappeared at seeing how despondent Charlie was. His laugh turned awkward, then died in his throat. He reached out, considering comforting his landlord, but then stepped back, reconsidering. She wasn’t his problem…just a disillusioned princess that was his current meal ticket, that’s all. Angel Dust decided to join Vaggie on the couch, leaving Charlie alone with her own miserable thoughts.
Charlie watched him go, then turned to the front door of the Hotel. It was still light out, judging by how the stained glass apple windows were warm with it, maybe someone would still come…? Was all that prep for the interview, and her genuine love for her people, and even her song…really going to go to waste? Charlie needed some air…needed a kind word…so, she headed outside, scrolling through her phone contacts. There it was, ‘Mom.’ She hit it, and was instantly sent to voicemail. Charlie sighed and considered hanging up. Mom already had 50 voicemails just like the one Charlie was about to leave…but still…maybe she’d listen to this one. Maybe she’d respond…
“Hey, Mom…um, I know I keep calling! And, uh, you must be busy!” Charlie said, pushing herself up to her tiptoes and wandering a little. “Really…busy…but, um…the interview didn’t go well…” Charlie allowed herself to sink down against the door, tracing that familiar cobblestone path with her finger. “And…I…I dunno if I’m going to make a difference…” She quickly swiped away her oncoming tears, “I…I don’t know what I’m doing…I could really use some advice, Mom…I…I think Dad was right about this…” Charlie made a truly pitiful attempt at a laugh, then sighed at herself. “Ooo, eh, anyway…I’ll stop talking before this gets long…love you! Bye!”
Charlie hung up the call with a sigh, gave her eyes another precautionary swipe, and went back inside. She knocked her head against the back of the door and shut her eyes, letting herself get grounded before rejoining Vaggie. Then, she heard a knock. Then another. She recognized it, that ‘Rap-tap-ta-tap-tap, tap-tap!’ knock…
Charlie opened the door and was greeted to the sight of her father, Lucifer himself. Lucifer, who was a few inches shorter than Charlie (Mom passed on some pretty impressive height), gave her a winning smile. He was dressed in his super special occasion formal-wear, a crisp white suit with gold cufflinks and a crimson red tie, which he paired with his finest top hat, the one with the golden snake biting savagely into an apple. His red apple cane was what he leaned on, but he straightened to give Charlie a bow.
“Good evening, Charlie. I hope this isn’t a bad time, you must be terribly busy, but I wanted to come over and witness your hotel’s debut!” Lucifer said, straightening from his bow.
“Oh…hi…! Um, no, not a bad time! Things are kinda- uh- well…the interview kinda…sorta…went to shit? So we only have…one…guest. But that’s only for right now! I'm sure someone is packing their bags right now!” Charlie tried to be optimistic, but she could see on Lucifer’s face that he’d read her like a book, and saw her distress.
“Oh, Duckling…” He said softly, and Charlie crashed into his arms, crying softly. Lucifer cooed at her, gently stroking her hair, letting her ground herself in his arms. “There, there. Debuts are always difficult, especially here in Hell.”
“I-I know…but, but I just…I worked so hard-!”
“Of course you did. You always do.” Lucifer soothed, “But, Duckling, if you need any help…”
“M-Maybe…I don’t know…it feels like there’s nothing to do, but also a million things to do! I just-! Augh!” Charlie said, freeing herself from Lucifer’s grasp and marching into the hotel. Lucifer followed her inside, shutting the front door behind himself.
“Well, Duckling, why don’t we cover our bases?”
Charlie relaxed and nodded. Going over the bases was good. Two heads full of ideas are always better than one.
“For one, you have your location. It stands out nicely against the horizon, in my humble opinion. So there’s some free advertising right there. You have everything decorated, wonderful, but…” Lucifer stared at the splintered and dusty floor, weighing his words carefully, “It lacks a bit of…hm…upkeep, let’s say. Does your staff not take care of this?”
Charlie sucked in a breath through her teeth, not looking her dad in the eye, “Well…Vaggie and I are…sorta…it. And Angel Dust, but he’s a guest.”
“Ain’t gettin’ no free maid outta me!” Angel Dust calls from his spot on the couch
“Ah! I see! Well, Duckling, you’ll need more than that…” Lucifer says, coming up behind Charlie and gently putting his hands on her shoulders, making sure his claws don’t press into her skin. “Why don’t I call in some of my flock for you? Free of charge, no strings attached, and you can borrow them for as long as you want. How does that sound?”
‘The flock’ was what Dad called all the souls he owned here in Hell. Dad considered his owned souls to be his lost little sheep, and he their wise and guiding shepherd. Charlie had no idea how many souls Dad owned now, but the flock was large enough for every job in the mansion to run like a well oiled machine. It was also large enough for Charlie not to know any of the flock personally, besides the members that had looked after her as a child.
“I dunno…forcing people to be here…?” Charlie whispers, crossing her arms and looking down at her shoes.
“Darling, you aren’t forcing anyone! It’s an honor for them to work for the crown! And, quite frankly, they knew what they were getting themselves into when they sold their souls to me!” Lucifer says, giving her shoulders a firm squeeze of encouragement. “You don’t have to think of yourself as their boss! No, no! They’ll be your friends!”
This makes Charlie pause. Well…maybe she can try out trust exercises and run lesson plans by them? And Dad’s right, the hotel is a bit worse for wear on the cleanliness side…plus, Angel mentioned that they don’t have food…someone to keep everyone fed would be great so Charlie could focus on lessons…
“How many were you thinking?”
“Only three! Very well behaved little lambs, but if you have any problems with them, I’ll sort them out!”
“By sort them out, you mean…?” Charlie asks tentatively
“Just a bit of scolding, Dear! An occasional timeout, an incredibly rare spanking, it keeps them happy and in place!”
Charlie blushes at this. Spanking? Dad really spanks his staff? She was never spanked as a child, “I thought you didn’t believe in corporal punishment?”
“I don’t! For children! But for the flock, I perform it as part of their upkeep!” Lucifer answers smoothly, letting Charlie go and turning away to admire a photo on the wall. “They’re trained, but hey, everyone tries the ol boundaries once in a while!” He turns back to Charlie, seeing the unease on her face, “Really, Charlie, I treat them well!”
“I dunno, Dad…”
“Tell you what! Why don’t we give them a trial run? One month of working here. If they click, you borrow them as long as you like. If they don’t, I simply give you other souls to try out! And I’ll pop by every few days, make sure my lambs are behaving for you. Of course, if they give you any trouble, I’ll be just a phone call away!” Lucifer said, gently trying to coax Charlie into agreeing with him
Charlie turns away, considering it. Just as she does, she hears a deep groan of wood splintering. Oh, great, a floor is trying to cave in somewhere…she can’t worry about that, there’s so much to prepare! Charlie takes a deep breath and faces Lucifer. “Fine. One month.”
Lucifer claps his hands excitedly, smiling big. “Great! You won’t regret it! I’ll start with some cleaning services!” He heads further into the hotel, to a small, boarded over fireplace. With a snap of his fingers, a fire is lit. From the ashes, something forms into the shape of a small girl. When she’s completely there, her eye opens, and with a ‘pop!’ and the sound of a squeaky toy, she goes from a silhouette to a visible little demon. Lucifer smiles as she stands and brushes herself off, her single eye wide and searching. She’s wearing a poodle skirt and a white shirt, a golden metal collar around her neck that goes ‘ting-a-ling!’ when she moves. There’s a tag on the collar that reads in neat cursive, ‘Nifty’, “This is Nifty! She’s a cleaning powerhouse in an adorable little package! Introduce yourself, Dear!”
Nifty smiles widely, her eye going bloodshot as she takes in the room full of other demons. “Hi! I’m Nifty! It’s nice to meet you! It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends…!” She pauses, motioning to Charlie, Vaggie and Angel Dust, “Why are you all women?” She picks up Charlie to look under her, then quickly sets her down, “Are there any men here?!” Lucifer raises an eyebrow at her and she quickly corrects herself, “Sorry, that’s rude…ohhh, man, this place is filthy! It really needs a lady’s touch!”
“Fix it up, then, go on.” Lucifer says sweetly, leaning on his cane and giving her a smile
Nifty grins at the granted permission and grabs a feather duster, dashing around and cleaning so fast that it makes Charlie’s head spin
“She…likes doing that, right?” Charlie asks
“Oh, she loves it! Little Nifty can’t stand an unkempt house!” Lucifer says with a chuckle. “Now…how about a bar keeper next?”
“Wait, no, we don’t serve-!” Vaggie starts, but is immediately cut off by a casino table appearing in the parlor
Sitting at the table, a pile of golden poker chips in front of him, is a…cat. With wings. Said cat was clearly in the middle of a game before being summoned, as he pushes his cards to the middle of the table, “Read em and weep, boys, it’s a full…hang on, what the fuck?”
“Haven’t we discussed the gambling, Husker?” Lucifer asks, and Husker’s spine goes straight, slowly turning to face his boss. Lucifer smiles at him, which seems to put him under more stress
“Ah, Boss…! What a…nice…surprise! The gambling was, uh, just a little off the clock fun! That’s all! And not to be rude, but I was about to win the entire-“ before he can finish, the table disappears. Husker hisses lowly at the loss, then straightens his face to address Lucifer. On his neck, Charlie notes, is an identical golden collar to Nifty’s, with ‘Husker’ on the tag. “What can I do for you this time?”
“I'm assigning you to bartend here at my daughter’s hotel! And run the front desk, of course! You can handle that, right, Kitty cat?” Lucifer asks, keeping the same sweet tone he used on Nifty
“…job come with booze?”
“I don’t see why not!” With a snap of his fingers, the abandoned bar becomes fully stocked. Husk looks towards it eagerly, and Lucifer gives him a nod, “Go on.” Which Husk immediately acts upon, popping open and chugging the first bottle he gets his claws on
“Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! No! No bar, no alcohol!” Vaggie says, stepping in front of Husk’s new station authoritatively, blocking an eager looking Angel Dust. “This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of…man…brothel…man-cave!”
Before anyone can blink, Angel Dust tackles Vaggie down to the ground, looking at her with wild eyes, “Shut up! Shut! Up! We are keeping this!” He then points to Husk with three of his arms, who is still occupied with his bottle. Angel Dust gets up, sliding up to the bar eagerly, “Heyyyy…”
“Go fuck yourself.” Husk bites back, eyes narrowed
“Only if you watch me…” Angel purrs before Husk shoves him away
“Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel!” Charlie says, popping up at the bar and startling Husk, “You are going to love it here!” She squeals, eyes sparkling as she holds out her hand to shake
Husk turns away from her warily, “I lost the ability to love years ago.” Then returns to his bottle, finishing it off and going for another one
“Ignore the sour-puss, Charlie! You’ve got one more lamb!” Lucifer says, and Charlie suddenly notices the presence of an antique radio in the parlor. Lucifer gives her a smile, turning the dial until he finds a station with classical jazz playing. “Oh, Allllaaassstttooorrrr!” He calls into the speaker.
The shadow underneath the radio suddenly shifts, sliding along the floor until it bubbles up, revealing a tall half-deer man who looks at Lucifer with a barely disguised sneer. He’s dressed in a red dress shirt with a black suit and bowtie to pair. Like the others, he has a golden collar on. ‘Alastor’
Lucifer gives him a lazy smile, “Aw, not happy to see me?”
“It’s always a pleasure, your majesty.” Alastor says tightly, smilingly widely down at Lucifer. His voice, to Charlie’s fascination, sounds like it’s coming out of a radio. “May I do something for you?”
“Yes you may. This,” Lucifer nudges Charlie forward, “is my daughter, Charlie. Hell’s princess.”
Alastor’s eyes dart to Charlie, and he gives her a smile that seems infinitely more genuine than the one he gave Lucifer. He bows, then takes her hand, pressing a kiss to it, “Your majesty, what an honor to meet you.”
“Oh, no, please, call me Charlie! All my friends do!” Charlie says, quickly getting Alastor up from his bow
“Charlie, then…I’m truly humbled.” Alastor says, smile never dropping, “Hell’s princess…you must be the one I saw on the picture show earlier!”
Charlie’s face flushes, suddenly remembering her horrible interview with Katie Killjoy…yeah, she lived up to the name…“O-Oh, did you…?”
If Alastor notices her discomfort, he doesn’t show it, “Of course! What a performance!” To Charlie’s delight, she can hear applause and cheers in the background of Alastor’s voice, “Why, I haven’t been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929!” When he laughs, his audience, that must be what Charlie is hearing, laughs with him, “So many orphans…”
“Alastor, Charlie has ever so kindly agreed to take you off my hands for the month.” Lucifer says, walking over to Alastor and smoothing his already wrinkle free attire out, “Husk and Nifty are here too, isn’t that fun?”
“Ah, my dearest chums!” Alastor says, but there’s no applause, “All gifted to the princess for her hotel, I assume!”
“Exactly. I’ve got Husk at the front desk and bar and Nifty on housekeeping. As for you, I’d like you to help Charlie maintain her hotel. Make any repairs, handle guests, and do anything else my sweet baby girl wants. Charlie?” Lucifer turns to her, “Any requests?”
“Are you any good in the kitchen?” Charlie asks eagerly
“Ha! My dear, I know a recipe for jambalaya that could knock the socks off the devil! And beyond that, I’m really quite decent! You should be very pleased!” Alastor brags, brushing Lucifer off his suit and approaching Charlie
“Oh my gosh, great! If you could cook for us, that’d be the best!”
“I certainly will, then!” Alastor says, and Charlie can hear the ‘ding!’ Of an oven in his audience. It makes her giggle, which Alastor notices, judging by the cheer from his audience
“Non-cannibalistic, just so we’re clear, Al.” Lucifer says, back at Alastor’s side. “If I get a call about you chopping sinners up into the food…”
“Now, now, your majesty! You fuss too much! I would never bother the princess with my personal preferences!” Alastor says, taking a half step away from Lucifer
“Of course, of course…just remember, I’m only a call away for Charlie…” Lucifer says lowly, fixing Alastor with a mocking smile
“As always, your majesty! But fret not! She’s in excellent hands!” Alastor says, putting his hands on Charlie’s shoulders
“Alright, alright.” Lucifer says, seemingly satisfied. “Make me proud, Bambi.” Alastor’s ear flicks at that, something that Lucifer seems to take great pleasure in. Instead of addressing it, though, he turns his attention back to Charlie, “Feel better about the hotel now, Duckling?”
“Loads! Thanks so much, Dad!” Charlie says, scooping Lucifer into a tight hug. Lucifer hugs her back, patting her head
“Anything for my duckling. I'd better get back to my own affairs now, but remember I’m just a call or text away for any questions or…” His eyes shift to Alastor, “…concerns.”
“Of course! This hotel will be up and running in no time! Suck that, Katie Killjoy!” Charlie cheers, her energy back and buzzing around in her head. Ooo, she couldn’t wait to start making plans!
Lucifer chuckles, “Yes. Good luck, Darling!” And with that, he leaves the hotel. When he does, Alastor’s audience cheers
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my fic! :3 This is my first time writing a fanfiction since I was like 13, so I'm a bit rusty! If anyone wants to make a request for future chapters, pls comment! :3 Or if you want to yap haha! First spanking is coming in chapter 4! I'll update soon! >:3
Chapter 2: Yes, my dear?
Summary:
The new Happy Hotel staff get their rooms, Alastor starts proving his usefulness
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Charlie rounds on Alastor immediately, eyes sparkling, “I can’t wait to show you my lesson plans! Can we do a trust fall?!”
“Charlie, Babe, he doesn’t even have a room yet.” Vaggie says, settling into Charlie’s side affectionately. “We should let them all get settled, first.”
“Gah! Right, right, right! Ahem, ahem! Alastor, Husker, Nifty, allow me to show you to your rooms!” Charlie says, chest puffed out in pride
“Oh, certainly. Lead the way, princess.” Alastor purrs, letting her get a few paces ahead, falling into a group with Husk and Nifty.
“He got you on princess duty too, huh, Al?” Husk asks smugly, thoroughly enjoying that the Radio Demon has to be miserable here too
“You know I detest that nickname.” Alastor says, tone darkening, “But yes! Here I am! Here to aid the impressionable, ever so trusting princess…”
Husk snorts, “If he heard ya talking like that…”
“Well he won’t. We have an entire month out from under his thumb.” Alastor says as his audience cheers. Yes, a lot could be done in a month…
Nifty gets dropped off at her room first, which she sets to cleaning. Husk rolls his eyes back to Alastor, “You seriously believe a prissy little princess ain’t gonna call Daddy on you?”
“Of course she won’t. I’ll be her perfect companion. The idea of having me beaten will be too much for her in no time…” Alastor says, somehow smiling wider at all his possibilities this newfound position allowed him. Yes, this would work very nicely…
His dusty, plain room however, would not. So, he excuses himself to get it fixed to his liking. Even Lucifer understands that Alastor works best in his own element, so he feels more than safe slipping away from the princess for now. Lucifer…he hadn’t been pestered by that insufferable little man in nearly 7 years, it’s surprising that he was his top choice to aid his daughter. But, Alastor won’t look this gift horse in the mouth. Getting this horrid collar sawed off seems possible now, if he could just stab that bleeding heart hard enough…but, one thing at a time. He has to prove his usefulness first. Has to make the girl excited to house him. Make her think, laughably, that they’re friends.
Yes, this is just what the doctor ordered…how entertaining…
-
Alastor finds his need for entertainment and gore satisfied quickly, as…what was his name? Sir Petulant? attacked. He took down a wall, how annoying…but it gave him great pleasure to hear Charlie squeak out, “Alastor!” when the demon appeared. So, Alastor obediently teleported to her with his shadow, making sure his smile is on
“My dear?” Alastor greeted, bowing to her
“HA! Well, well, well, look who it is, harboring Lucifer’s pet FREAK!”
Alastor looked up through the hole in the hotel to see a hot air balloon was over them, a snake demon leaning out of a window, mocking him. Fabulous! A chance to earn Charlie’s devotion! Between this and an excellent dinner tonight, he’d have this collar off by breakfast!
“We meet yet again, Alastor!” The snake demon continued to mock
…yet again?
“Do I know you?” Alastor asks, summoning his microphone and twirling it effortlessly, cocking his head to the side
The snake demon visibly deflated, then turned on his heel, marching into his warship, “Oh, yes, you do! And this time I have the element of,” He pulls a lever, “surpriseee!” A large turbine falls to the ground, kicking up the dust, and Alastor’s hair. How irritating, his hair had been slicked back so perfectly today. Now he’d need to go and fix it.
Alastor snaps his fingers, opening a portal full of black tentacles that grab the ship and begin ripping it apart. He can hear that irritating snake’s screams from inside. Wonderful. All in all, this was a peachy day. He squeezed his fist closed, choking out the warship and making it explode. Satisfied with himself, he turned to Charlie, ready to bathe in the praise he knew was coming.
He takes her hand and kisses it, bowing to her. “Was that to your liking, my dear?”
“Uh…yeah! But maybe a bit…less…violent, next time? We don’t want to get anyone killed, afterall!” Charlie says, clearly frazzled
Too violent? How ridiculous, the princess of Hell thinks something is too violent? Control yourself, Alastor…stay a perfect gentleman
“I do apologize, Princess. Please, let me make it up to you. Why don’t I fix this wall, then I’ll start on dinner?” He can hear the ‘ding!’ Of an oven and ‘ooo’s from his audience at the suggestion
Charlie perks back up again immediately, “That sounds perfect! Can it be pancakes? Ooo! Ooo! No! Waffles! With whipped cream and cherries and-!”
“Breakfast for dinner?” Alastor asks grimly, cocking his head to the side as his audience begins to boo
Charlie deflates at an instant, wringing her hands together, “No good…?”
No good at all, but if she went crying to the king on Alastor’s first day…
“Now, now, my dear! Give me a smile! You’re never fully dressed without one!” Alastor coaxes, tilting her chin up with his hand, “I’ll admit, I’ve never gotten this request before…but it will broaden my horizons as a chef! You said whipped cream? What else?”
“But…if you don’t think it’s a good idea…” Charlie is practically pouting. Lord, what a princess…
“My dear, honestly, your wish is my command! Please, let me fulfill such an honest whim!”
“You’re sure…?” Charlie asks, giving him wet puppy eyes
“As sure as sure can be!” Come on, just give in! Just request the damn waffles already so Alastor’s scorecard can be 2 for 2! Lucifer won’t- Alastor won’t accept anything less!
“Okay…waffles with whipped cream and cherries and rainbow sprinkles it is!” Charlie beams, finally returning to her sunshiney self
“Consider it done, my dear.” Alastor purrs, then lets his shadow take him to the wall. Ugh, how irritating…who apologizes and backs down after giving such a simple command? Her father is unrelenting in his orders. They must be carried out to the letter, or he doesn’t consider it finished. What a pain, truly. But, at least he’s making progress with her. In fact, this has just shown two vital things…one, the princess cares about his opinion. Two, she’s nothing like Lucifer. This is a peachy day indeed…
-
Having breakfast for dinner is truly vile. Alastor hates it, but endures it for Charlie’s excited babbling about how it was delicious and just what she wanted and how Alastor was just the best. The girl is so easily pleased, another difference from Lucifer. This job couldn’t be easier. And judging from how Husker and Nifty smile at the princess’s excitement and actually eat Alastor’s cooking, they think the same. Hm, maybe once Charlie’s freed him, he could buy these two’s souls off Lucifer…that’d be delicious…
Notes:
Hope you enjoyed :) Thank you for all the kudos!!
Chapter 3: The Hazbin Hotel
Summary:
Alastor starts fixing up the hotel and finds the sign in need of fixing...Charlie wouldn't mind a name change, right?
Notes:
In honor of me getting the job I wanted, here's chapter 3 early! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Day 2 on the job proves to be a major headache. His shadow is exhausted, refusing to come up from the floor to take Alastor anywhere, and his audience is booing constantly.
It had started out fine. A nice deer carcass for breakfast, a relaxing early morning soak in the tub, ironing out his clothes for the day, all perfectly normal. However, the second he was dressed, Charlie knocked on his door, holding a list that hit the floor in her hands
“Good morning, Alastor!” Charlie chirps once Alastor opens up for her, “Did you sleep well?”
Alastor bows with a smile, deciding not to kiss her obviously occupied hands, “Like a newborn fawn, my dear. How may I assist you?”
“Welllll, I totally couldn’t sleep last night!” Charlie begins, rapidly brightening up and becoming more bubbly, “I just had so many ideas! But then I fell through a floor and I realized that I could reallyyyy use some repairs made around the hotel! So I made a list- but don’t worry! I don’t expect all this to get done for a couple weeks-!”
Please, he could finish it in a day-
“But here you go! Just whenever you have time! And don’t worry! Everyone else is working hard too! Everyone gets their own list, and if you finish the list, I’ll give you a gold star! Doesn’t that sound great?!” Charlie is practically bouncing by now, proudly showing Alastor a sheet of gold star stickers
Good lord, how old is the princess, exactly…?
“I would be honored to receive one, my dear.” Alastor purrs, his audience cheering, “I’ll get the hotel to your liking in no time. But first, why don’t I make some breakfast?”
“Can it be waffles?!”
She wants waffles again?! Was Alastor sent to watch a child?!
Luckily, that Vaggie girl, who seems to be Charlie’s romantic partner, joins the conversation, “Babe, we just had waffles. Why don’t we have something a bit more healthy?”
Yes, indeed. Alastor likes this girl. She seems to be the balancing agent around here, cooling down Charlie’s rabid excitement into something more palatable.
“Like parfaits?!” Charlie squeals, bouncing on her toes
“Yeah, sure, orrr, um…hey! How about we go simple? Bacon, eggs, and coffee?” Vaggie suggests. She tries to hold Charlie’s hands, but seeing how full they are, takes the list from her and passes it to Alastor. Ah, good. Could’ve been lost in the chaos. Alastor tucks it away into an inner pocket for safe keeping.
“Welll…okay! That sounds like a perfect idea! Get everyone all energized for my lessons!”
“Consider it done, Dear. How do you like your eggs?” Alastor asks, a drum roll playing in his audience
“Sunny side up!”
“Ah, of course! And you, Miss Vaggie?”
“Scrambled with cheese. Thanks, Alastor.” Vaggie says, and Alastor gives her a bow before he takes his shadow back down to the kitchen
That effeminate fellow…what was his name? Dusty? Is down here as well. Ah, luckily for Alastor, he has a collar on. It’s red, must be Valentino’s, and the tag reads ‘Angel Dust’. He jumps when Alastor appears, “Gah-! Oh, it’s just you, Smiles.”
Smiles…? “Ha, ha! I'm not sure you and I got a chance to be properly introduced! I am Alastor! The radio demon, and faithful servant to lord Lucifer!” He can’t wait to remove Lucifer from his introductions…he gives Angel Dust a quick bow, for appearances sake, then heads to the stove. “And you are?”
“Angel Dust. Porn star, total hottie, and, unfortunately, one of Valentino’s suckers.” Angel Dust says, rolling his eyes and sitting at the table. He perks up when Alastor cracks some eggs, “Ooo, whatcha cookin, good lookin?”
“Eggs and bacon. How do you like your eggs?”
“Over easy, just like me, Big boy.” Angel Dust purrs, “And keep the bacon fatty. I like some meat on my bones.”
“Very well.” Alastor says, rolling up his sleeves to properly begin cooking. His audience begins a low, jazzy song for him, which helps Alastor relax into his work. Ah, the audience…one of Alastor’s favorite facets of his power…with every demon he slaughters and consumes, the audience grows. They used to be meek, only appearing when Alastor had his microphone out and specifically summoned them for sound effects. Now, with their impressive numbers, they appear when they or Alastor see fit. Like an extra appendage, Alastor hardly even has to think before his audience performs for him. Of course, he carefully controls who he allows into it. A sour voice would be grating, and he keeps his audience perfectly in tune, thank you very much.
“Soooo…” Angel Dust hums
Ah, wonderful. That crazed obsession with filling every silence with unnecessary chatter…what a…fun…characteristic
“What’s it like belonging ta' the Daddy of all Daddies?”
Alastor feels his smile twitch, along with his eye. Well isn’t that a…unique…question…“You’re referring to Lucifer?”
“Oh yeah. Talk dirty to me, Al, how big is his-“
“Finish that question, he’ll rip ya throat out.” Ah, perfect timing. Husker comes into the kitchen, a twitchy Nifty under his arm. “I want em poached, and burn the bacon to a crisp. Nifty wants soft boiled eggs and raw bacon.”
Alastor summons a notepad, taking down everyone’s orders while Husk sits Nifty and himself at the table
“Ohhh, so protective, are you the top in ya little three way, Husky?” Angel purrs, resting his head in his hands and giving Husker a cheeky grin
“Can it, ya sell-out.” Husker snaps back
“Didn’t answer my questionnnn!” Angel Dust says in a sing-songy tone. Then, more seriously, “And really, Kitty, you’re callin’ me a sell-out when we’re all wearin’ collars here? What a laugh!” He gets up, going into the fridge and hunting around until he finds a cola, “Ugh- Hey, Smilessss?” He says sweetly, leaning over the fridge door, “You’re the one that stocks ta’ fridge, rightttt?”
“That’s correct.” Alastor says, placing Charlie and Vaggie’s plates down in front of them when they appear in the kitchen. Charlie gives him a bright smile and Vaggie offers an appreciative nod
“Then can ya gimme the version of cola that's still got ta’ coke in it?”
Before Alastor can consider it (Having more allies in the hotel seems like a worthwhile venture…) Vaggie cuts in, “Angel, no! No drugs, no alcohol! You’re supposed to stay clean, remember?! Make up for how we looked like idiots yesterday?!”
Ah, right! Angel Dust was the one thrown in Charlie’s face during the picture show! What a laugh! His audience laughs too, not stopping even when Vaggie glares at him. He plates more food, putting Angel Dust’s plate in front of his empty spot
“Ughhhh! C’mon, Toots, it’s not like I ruined ya credibility or nothin’!”
“That’s exactly what you did!” Vaggie spits
“How could I ruin something that was already ruined?! It’s not like anyone takes this stupid hotel seriously anyways!” Angel Dust fires back, crossing his two sets of arms over each-other
“Charlie and I do! And Lucifer!”
“Yes, he certainly does. Anything for his darling girl.” Alastor says, pinching Charlie’s cheek and putting down a glass of orange juice for the mopey princess. Charlie gives him a smile, which Alastor gladly returns
“Yeah, yeah, ya royal ass kisser!” Angel Dust huffs, waving Alastor off with all four hands, “Look, I’m glad we’re all so fuckin passionate about something that’s impossible, but don’t let it kill my vibe! Smiles! Coke!”
Alastor raises an eyebrow at him before Vaggie stands up, slamming her hands against the table, “No drugs! Alastor, don’t listen to him!”
“Wasn’t planning on it, my dear! I’m here to assist Charlie! And if her right hand woman doesn’t approve…” Alastor shrugs, grinning widely, “Then I suppose my hands are tied!”
Vaggie looks satisfied, crossing her arms and nodding sharply, a smug smile on her face, “Well, then that's that!”
“Fuck you, vag-ie!” Angel huffs, slamming the refrigerator door so hard it shakes, making his collar tag jingle
“It’s Vaggie, you-!” Vaggie spits before Charlie takes her hand. She relaxes instantly, putting her other hand over Charlie’s. “I mean…” She takes a deep breath, “Charlie? Thoughts?”
“Wellll…maybe…we could show a bit of…understanding! I mean, look. Angel Dust has been on drugs since…well, a long time. Getting clean is tough so…okay, okay! Angel, no drugs, but…I guess…an occasional drink couldn’t…hurt?” Charlie said hesitantly, twisting her fingers around Vaggie’s
“Shit yeah!” Angel cheered, “Smiles! Gimme something strong!”
Alastor snapped his fingers, putting a drink in Angel’s hand with a roll of his eyes. Gosh, the girl is like putty…hm, on that note…Alastor checks his list. It was written in swirly cursive, each letter a different color. At the top, it read, ‘For Alastor!!!!♥️’ and it was covered in doodles and music note stickers. First item on the list…
-
It was the sign. When Sir Petulant attacked, he’d taken a chunk out of the sign along with the wall Alastor fixed yesterday. ‘The Happy Hotel’ was now ‘He p el’ hm…the happy hotel was a silly name. Made by a silly, up in the clouds princess. Really, this hotel was full of nothing but hazbins…oh, there’s an idea. With the princess being so easy to step over…why not just change the sign? Yes, it’s helpful, gentlemanly even, to give Charlie’s business a more respectable name. Decision made, Alastor changes the sign to ‘The Hazbin Hotel’. Mm, perfect. Well, that's one thing done…
-
The rest of the day is spent fixing caved in floors, gaudy decorations, stained mattresses, broken windows, peeling wallpaper- and that's only on the first floor, when this infernal hotel has 8! (Though only 6 of them are for actual guests, with the lobby being a common area and the 8th floor housing the staff) No matter how many demons he pulls from his audience to tidy for him, the tasks never end, and they only do so much before they collapse and disappear. Even his shadow is exhausted, refusing to come up off the floor while his audience boos and hisses. Ugh…how irritating…if he didn’t have this collar, he could do so much more without rest…and he wouldn’t have to play repair man Randy in this tacky hotel…
“Heyyyy, Alastor?”
Alastor turns sharply, finding Charlie and Vaggie standing in the hall, Charlie anxiously playing with her fingers and Vaggie tapping her foot against the floor, arms crossed
“Yes, my-?”
“Where the fuck do you get off changing our sign?!” Vaggie snarls, showing off her unusually flat teeth, “The Hazbin Hotel?!”
“Oh, dear me! Was it not called that before? Forgive me, my dear, it was my first time seeing it, and it was all torn to pieces!” Alastor bows deeper than usual, his smile never slipping. Let’s see if the princess can pick up on a bit of deception…
“You’re full of shit! Change it back now!”
“And waste a perfectly good sign? Oh, certainly not!” Alastor says, summoning his microphone and leaning on it with a sly smile, “Besides, I think the name is an improvement! Don’t you, Charlie?”
“Well…it’s…” Charlie mumbles
“¡Ay, perra! Don’t you try that shit on her!”
“I'm not trying anything! Just asking Charlie for her opinion! Be honest, Dear, do you hate the name?” When he doesn’t get a response besides more nervous finger twisting, he forces his ears to pin back, “Oh…you despise it, don’t you?” Alastor says, lowering his tone until it sounds pathetically vulnerable and looking away like a scolded puppy, “Fine, I’ll change it back…” he sighs, preparing to snap his fingers
“Wait, no, it’s not…bad! Just, um…different?” Charlie says, coming over and hovering nervously near Alastor, wringing out her hands, “I like the name, really! But, I’ve wanted it to be called the Happy Hotel since I was little!”
Ah, that explains the childish name. It was created by a child.
“You really like it? Truly?" Alastor asks, giving Charlie the nearest thing to puppy eyes that his pride can take, “You aren’t disappointed by it?”
“¡Polla-!”
Alastor summons a tentacle, discreetly dragging that irritating little moth off to a room and locking her in. With a subtle snap behind his back, it’s soundproofed
“Disappointed?! No, no! It’s…well…mm…”
“Suitable for Hell, don’t you think? A good, strong name!” Alastor is grinning sharkishly now, smelling blood and doubt in the water
“I…I guess you’re right…?”
“Of course I’m right, dearest! Everyone will love the hotel’s new name! You’ll have souls lined around the block! Now, why don’t you retrieve the delightful Miss Vaggie and come downstairs for lunch! You can announce the new name there!”
“O…okay…”
“Good girl!” Alastor praises, straightening to his full height and patting Charlie on the head. With that, he turns on his heel. When he’s sure he’s out of earshot, he allows his audience to scream with the laughter they’d been holding in. He allows himself to laugh too. What an absolutely pathetic excuse for a princess! So easily molded and manipulated into giving into the most random requests! Changing the name of her precious hotel because a man she met yesterday asked her to?! What a riot! How incredibly entertaining! When this list is completed, he’s going to con that girl right into breaking his deal with Lucifer! And it will be so easy! His freedom, plopped into his lap, practically gift-wrapped! Ha! HA!
-
Vaggie finally bursts out of the locked room, her spear taking the entire doorknob off. Oh, she is fuming-!
“Vaggie! There you are!” Charlie calls from down the hall, running to scoop her girlfriend up into her arms
Vaggie hugs her back, relieved beyond measure that that damn radio freak isn’t in sight. How dare he?! He’s only been here for a day! “Charlie, you need to call your dad before that damn deer cons you into something else!”
“I know, I know, but…he looked really sad that I didn’t like the name…” Charlie whispers, looking at the newly fixed up and clean flooring, “And my dad…he’s so…”
Charlie may not have seen Husker, Nifty or Alastor before, but she’d grown up in her father’s mansion. While she didn’t know corporal punishment was happening in the halls, she did see that Dad’s flock panicked if they made a mistake. Some hid away, others went right to Dad and begged at his feet for forgiveness…either way, Dad just stared at them. If it couldn’t be cleaned, couldn’t be fixed, then Dad would tsk and order them to their room. Is that why they pleaded for mercy? Because they knew that they’d be…well…spanked? What good could that possibly do for anyone? No, she can’t allow it! But…she definitely didn’t feel good about what just happened…maybe…maybe she could convince her Dad to go easy on Alastor? Like a time out? Or writing an apology letter? Yeah! That would work! Afterall, starting with sorry was a sure fire way to redemption!
So, she pulls out her phone and types a quick message, sending it to Dad with a good feeling in her chest
‘Hey, Dad. Could you come over?’
Notes:
I FOUND OUT HOW ITALICIZING WORKS HERE!! ITALICS MY LOVE!!
Chapter 4: The Nerve
Summary:
Lucifer punishes his lamb
Notes:
Spanking in this chapter! If you'd rather skip it, it starts after "Do you want me to look like a fool?" and ends at "He walks them over to a plush, straight-backed chair..."
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucifer was there in time for lunch, and immediately pulled Charlie to the side, speaking to her in a hushed tone, “Let me guess, Alastor is pushing at you.”
“Well…yeah, kinda. He sorta…renamed the hotel? And now he’s insisting I tell everyone the new name at lunch-“
Lucifer gave her a smile and a pat on the head, “Oh, Duckling…why don’t you go on and give that announcement? I think it’ll be fun. ”
“Okay, but Dad, I don’t want you to-“
“Charlie.” Lucifer cooed, sternness just barely peeking out, “What I do with Alastor is my business. He’s mine.”
“Yes, but an apology letter would surely be better than hitting him!”
“An apology letter?” Lucifer asks, giving her a lazy smile, “Oh, I think that can be arranged, Duckling.”
Charlie relaxes instantly, “Thanks, Dad! It’ll go so smoothly! You’ll see!”
Lucifer hummed, following Charlie into the kitchen to find Alastor plating up bowls of onion soup. Wordlessly, he came to stand behind Alastor, waiting until Alastor’s hands were empty before he spoke, “Get another bowl.”
Alastor wasn’t jumpy in the slightest, so Lucifer took satisfaction from seeing his ears twitch. Alastor looked evenly at Lucifer before getting another bowl, “Your majesty, what a pleasant surprise.”
“Well, I couldn’t miss this announcement of Charlie’s, now could I?”
“Certainly not.” Alastor says, trying to keep his hands steady as he plates
“Oh…were you not expecting me?” Lucifer asks sweetly
“Not for 30 more days, your majesty.” Yes, Alastor was counting.
“You really expect me not to check on my little girl? Do you think so lowly of me, Alastor?”
Alastor set the table as the others found their way in. “No, your majesty.”
“Glad to hear it. And here I thought you might already be slipping!”
“No, your majesty.”
“Oh, good boy. Such a quick response. You must either be lying, or my little Angel!” Lucifer said, sitting at the table and grinning up at Alastor
“Yes, your majesty. Well, if nothing is required of me here-“
“Stay.” Lucifer commanded, snapping his fingers and pointing to the floor space next to him. Alastor walked over, standing beside Lucifer, feeling quite like a hound that was seconds away from a beating.
When everyone was quiet and fed, Lucifer looked at Charlie with a smile, “So, Darling! What’s this big announcement?”
“Ah…right! Wellll, I’ve decided to, um…change the hotel’s…name! It’s now the Hazbin hotel!” Charlie does her best to smile, but it’s pinched
“Oh! And who’s idea was that?” Lucifer asks, turning his body and moving his leg back
“It was…ah, Alastor’s- but I love it! I really, really do-!”
Before Charlie could finish, Lucifer threw his leg forward, kicking Alastor in the back of the legs and sending him to his knees. He grabbed Alastor’s collar and stood up, dragging Alastor off with him
“Dad, you said you’d go easy! Dad!” Charlie calls after them
Lucifer ignores her. Poor Charlie, such a sweet, gentle soul. Hell would eat her alive if she wasn’t the princess, and Alastor would be the first to sink his teeth in. Charlie would be lost to Alastor’s audience, and Alastor wouldn’t feel a moment's remorse, caging a pretty canary like her. So, Lucifer doesn’t feel any remorse dragging Alastor to his room, slamming the door behind them and tossing Alastor to the ground. He points to a corner and Alastor gives him a dirty look, but shuffles over to kneel in it.
Ah, that's better. Having one of his lambs out of line was getting on his nerves. Hopefully Alastor still remembers to keep his head down and learn his lesson instead of testing the king further. But, 7 years without being taken in hand…hm, he’d have to correct this properly…
“Your majesty-“
“Quiet.” Yes, this little lamb would certainly need something rough. Lucifer clicked his fingers, summoning a few things for himself. He cleared off Alastor’s desk, much to Alastor’s obvious annoyance, “Fix that posture, Fawn.”
Alastor muttered something, but did adjust his posture
“Better.” Lucifer purred, getting himself set up for the punishment, “Now, tell me. What gave you the nerve to push your will onto my daughter?”
“I am nervy by nature, your majesty.” Alastor answered coolly, staring boredly at the wall
“Yes, you certainly are. It would be cute, if you weren’t such a manipulative bastard.” Lucifer said with a sigh. “But, I suppose I can’t blame you. I’ve neglected my poor little lamb. Don’t worry, I’ll put you back in your place.”
Alastor grit his teeth, “Unnecessary, your majesty. I did just fine in your absence.”
“Did you, now? Well then you’ll do much better with me around, won’t you?”
Alastor stayed silent, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t verbalize the truly vulgar answer that was in his mind. Not that it wouldn’t get him anywhere, but the place it would get him was truly unpleasant
Lucifer grabbed Alastor up by his collar, throwing him over his desk, “I said won’t you, Alastor?!”
Alastor gasped as the wind was taken out of his lungs, coughing loudly. He felt Lucifer’s hand on his lower back, his fingers gently kneading him. When the floor stopped spinning, Alastor remembered that he’d been asked a question. Doesn’t quite matter what question, the answer is almost always…, “Yes, your majesty.”
“Good. That throw was a bit too rough, hm, lamb? I have to remember that you’re fragile."
“I beg to differ-!” Alastor snarled, but was quickly shut up by Lucifer yanking his ear painfully. He hissed, struggling against the instinct to bat Lucifer away
“Come now, Alastor, you know begging doesn’t work on me! Just wasted breath! Now,” Lucifer purred, letting Alastor’s ear go, “Charlie requested an apology letter, which you’re going to write! In calligraphy! In ink.”
“Very creative, your majesty.” Alastor spat, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms, “And I’m over my desk during this because…?”
“Because you’re also getting the paddle.”
Alastor snapped his head around, his neck cracking unnaturally from the force, eyes wide, “Not the one with the passage.”
“Oh, isn’t my lamb clever? It is the one with the passage!” Lucifer said, pulling out a golden paddle and hitting it against his hand with a shit-eating grin
Alastor felt a chill go up his spine. Even he feared the passage paddle. It was thick, heavy and wielded without mercy, but worst of all, a bible passage was engraved into it. Ezekiel 37:24, ‘My servant David shall be king over them, and they shall all have one shepherd. They shall walk in my rules and be careful to obey my statutes.’ Alastor couldn’t even speak the passage without burning his tongue, and having a holy verse beaten into his skin guaranteed that he wouldn’t sit comfortably for weeks. But, as Lucifer said, pleading for mercy was useless, so Alastor buried his head in his arms, trying not to shiver
“Head up, Lamb. How are you going to write like that?”
Alastor chose not to respond
“Goodness, all out of fight? And so soon? Did you just change that sign to get some attention?” Lucifer tsked sharply, setting writing supplies on the ground within Alastor’s reach, “How childish. You have my number, you very well could have called upon me.”
“The day I use one of those noisy bricks of plastic is the day I drop dead.”
Lucifer tsked again, “That's ridiculous, what if you needed me? Do you want me to lose a lamb? Do you want me to look like a fool?”
“Your majesty, I refuse-“ Alastor yelped, ribs hitting the desk painfully from the first strike of the paddle
“You refuse? Is that what you just said? You refuse?”
Alastor gasped for air, flipping his hand at Lucifer, rolling his wrist. Fuck, what was the signal for unusual pain? Lucifer allowed communication in a punishment, but what was the signal that it was needed?
“Yes, lamb? Something hurts?”
Alastor nodded, still gasping a bit, “My tail. You hit my tail.”
Lucifer rubbed at his back, letting Alastor catch his breath for a moment, “Oh, dear. I’ve forgotten so much about you. Forgive me.” Lucifer reached over the desk, unbuckling Alastor’s belt, popping the button of his dress pants and pulling them down to the curve of Alastor’s ass. It made Alastor blush, but it wasn’t anything new. The king had seen every bit of his body in nearly every state. Once freed from the layers Alastor had tucked it into, his tail popped up, fluffy and large, a comforting presence on his lower back. “You shouldn’t tuck it away like that, doesn’t that hurt?”
Alastor shrugged, “A slight discomfort is worth it to keep my reputation intact. What would the papers say if Alastor, the radio demon, the powerful overlord, had an idiotic deer tail on display?”
“So focused on looks, lamb. If you poured that energy into behaving instead, you’d be the apple of the flock.”
“It is not my goal to be the pick of your litter. My goal is to be feared.”
“Watch your tone and start writing.”
Alastor sighed, able to recognize that he’d lost this round of he and Lucifer’s battle. Obediently, he took up the ink quill and dipped it in the pot of ink. He hadn’t done this in years, not since escaping from Lucifer’s constant surveillance…in fact, he’s fairly certain that he set his own calligraphy set ablaze. He only got to the curve of the letter ‘D’ before he was struck with the paddle, sucking in a breath and gripping his wrist in his other hand so he didn’t ruin his lettering. His carefulness earned him a fond chuckle from Lucifer, who twirled the paddle and struck him again
Alastor flinched, his ears twitching from the dull, thuddy pain of the paddle. The passage added an unmistakable bite to it, nearly messing up Alastor’s ‘e’, but he managed to hold still enough to save it. Now warmed up, the king began the beating in earnest, striking from right below Alastor’s tail to the curve of his ass, even hitting his thighs and sit spots. Alastor shivers through it, refusing to be the same weakling he was 7 years ago, who would cry out after the strikes.
Lucifer watches Alastor successfully write out ‘Dearest’ without streaking his ink, a quiet pride filling him as he does. Alastor may be a prideful thing, but he delivers. If Alastor promises to do something, by god, it gets done. If it could get done without a sneer, he’d be Lucifer’s finest lamb. And if he didn’t insist on warring with that one tv demon. To be fair, Lucifer let that little spat go much too far…it’s a shame he’s been so…busy…these past 7 years. However, now that Charlie has her hotel, priorities have shifted. Now, Alastor will be good to Charlie. Even if Lucifer has to beat some goodness into him.
On this thought, Lucifer continues the spanking, watching Alastor’s ears twitch backwards. Lucifer snorts seeing it. Such an ego, he won’t even let his body show that he’s in pain, forcing his ears forward. His tail tells Lucifer the real story, standing straight up, puffed out and alert.
When Alastor had first come into Lucifer’s possession, Lucifer found himself horribly confused by all of Alastor’s…well…quirks. He’d met sinners that were animals, but not human-animal hybrids. So, he ordered in a few books about deer. He quickly discovered that while Alastor could lie like a rug, his body was much more honest. If Alastor looked away with pinned back ears, it was him acknowledging danger or distress. Looking at Lucifer with pinned back ears was a challenge to authority. Stomping his feet was similar, it could just be a way to cope with upset, or another challenge. His little ears were an excellent indication of what Alastor was feeling, but his tail is even more helpful. Lucifer can’t believe he forgot that Alastor had one.
It’s good to watch Alastor, see if those ears pin back or if that tail puffs up. Deer tails also wag, but that’s a special treat to see, and can’t be pointed out without upsetting Alastor. Lucifer pauses his strikes and leans up, checking on Alastor’s letter. Good, he’s gotten to, ‘Dearest Charlie, I simply must apologize for’, very good. Certainly more elegant than Nifty’s sideways ‘SORRY’ that takes up an entire page or Husk’s free drink coupons that he insists on handing out instead of a proper apology.
“Nearly done, lamb. You’re doing well.” Lucifer says, putting a steadying hand on the small of Alastor’s back. He only gets an aggravated huff back, but Lucifer decides to let it slide. He finishes up, focusing on the middle of Alastor’s red ass, spanking him until he can read the passage off of him. He nods, gives Alastor one last harsh strike, then gets his pants back up and belt buckled. He can feel Alastor’s shoulders sag in relief, and he hooks a hand under Alastor’s waist and gets him up.
He walks them over to a plush, straight-backed chair and sits in it, putting Alastor on his knees in-between Lucifer’s legs. Alastor hides his face in Lucifer’s stomach without hesitation, his ears pinned back. Lucifer coos, running his fingers through Alastor’s hair, freeing his curls from Alastor’s usual slicked back style. Gently, he scratches behind Alastor’s ear with his claws.
“Ooo, good spot?” Lucifer asks when Alastor relaxes into him. He only gets a huff back, but Alastor is melting into the contact, putty in the hands of his king. “Maybe I should do this instead of disciplining you, hm? Just grab you down and give you the attention you’re always crying for.”
“I don’t cry.” Alastor mutters, the bite missing from his tone
“Pardon me, the attention you whine for. The attention you throw fits for. The attention you changed the damn sign for.” Lucifer takes his nails, raking them over Alastor’s scalp, feeling Alastor shiver in pleasure. “The attention you could call on me for, and next time you will.” Lucifer snaps his fingers, a gold colored rotary phone appearing on Alastor’s desk with a sharp, ‘brrrring!’
Alastor peeks over his shoulder at it, then buries himself back into his hiding spot, his audience booing loudly. The sound briefly startles Lucifer. Oh! It’s the audience! Lucifer had forgotten about them! They’re another useful indicator, their boos sharply curving into soft cheers when Lucifer resumes petting Alastor
“That phone- shhh, shhh, don’t boo me. That phone is a direct line to me. If you call, I’ll answer. Now that you have that, you shouldn’t ever have to harass my daughter again, correct?”
“…correct, your majesty.” Alastor says, slightly muffled in his hiding spot
“There’s a good boy. You wanna come up into my lap?” Lucifer knows the answer, but it never hurts to ask
“I’d rather chew glass. This is humiliating enough.”
“Alright, alright. Y’know, Nifty sits in my lap like a kitten.” He gets an annoyed little ear twitch for that
“Nifty is Nifty. She’d hug a fireworks display.”
“Awww, you saying I light up the night sky?” Lucifer purrs, teasing Alastor’s soft ears with his fingers, playfully wrapping stray curls around Alastor’s little antlers
“No. You’re loud, annoying and you hurt my eyes.” Alastor shoots back, a slight smile in his tone
“Ha! That’s funny! I can’t remember the last time you told me a joke!”
“I’ve never told you a joke, your majesty.” Alastor says, leaning back on his knees to look up at Lucifer, folding his arms on Lucifer’s knees and sitting his head atop them. It was a bit of distance. Best to check in
“You still want me to pet you?”
“Mm.”
Lucifer continued, threading his fingers into Alastor’s hair. Alastor was the second most stubborn about affection. Nifty never needed spanking, bawling her heart out just from being sat in a corner and then clambering up into Lucifer’s lap to cuddle a mere millisecond after being called over. Husk would fight his way out of a room, not even accepting a hug. Words of affirmation made him snap and snarl, too. With Alastor, he’d never willingly go to Lucifer for affection. Would never pick himself up and fall into a hug. So, Lucifer pulled him over and pushed him into it, then gave him a choice later on to see if he wanted more affection. Alastor would never outright say yes, but would never use his shadow to escape or move himself away from the king either. Usually a hum would be all he got. It was enough.
Alastor stays there for a good bit, staring off into space while Lucifer dotes on his ears and hair. When Lucifer swears Alastor might be falling asleep, he stands up instead
“I’ll finish my letter and deliver it to Charlie by the end of the day.” Alastor says, calmly meeting Lucifer’s eye, ears up and relaxed
“I’m so glad to hear it. I’ll take my leave, but call me if you ever require my attention.”
As soon as Lucifer leaves, Alastor locks the door behind him and strips down, climbing into the bathtub and starting the coldest bath he can stand. After a few agonizing seconds of white hot pain, Alastor is able to relax into the water
One day, he’ll burn that paddle to a crisp and dance on the ashes of it
Notes:
I hope the build up to the spanking was worth it! :D This story has been super fun to write so far, thank you for all the kudos! :) Pls feel free to suggest things for the story in the comments!
Chapter 5: Angel's Room
Summary:
Alastor does some more hotel repairs and finds that Angel's room is in desperate need of an update
Notes:
I honestly have no idea what Alastor does in the hotel in the series besides fixing clogged toilets so I'm putting him to work here. And I need to see more Alastor and Angel Dust interaction so here it is!! Enjoy!! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
After Alastor has cooled off and has the worst of the pain managed, he dresses, tucks his tail underneath his layers, and finishes his letter. It’s simple, and straight to the point.
‘Dearest Charlie,
I simply must apologize for changing the name of your hotel. I will improve my behavior going forward.
-Alastor’
It wasn’t much, but the calligraphy made it look crisp and professional, which was good enough for Alastor. He pulled his list out and got back to work on the hotel, managing to get the lobby completely fixed up and functional before moving onto the first floor, (If you didn’t count the lobby) which he rode the elevator up to. To his surprise, one of the first rooms to the left has been painted pink, with a heart sign on it that says, ‘Angel Dust’. Soft, jazzy music is coming from inside. Hm. Well, if he gets to that room today, he’ll ask Angel Dust if he requires any repairs
Alastor starts with the first room on the right and nearly falls through the floor when he steps into it. Luckily, his shadow manifests and quickly yanks him away from the hole.
Alastor brushes himself off, takes a breath, and pats his shadow on the head, “Thank you, old friend. That would have been…unpleasant.”
His shadow gives him a smile, a nod, and goes back to the floor, lying in wait in case anything else went sideways. Alastor sighed, summoning some demons from his audience to start on the hole. He walked around it, going into the bathroom to check on that
…seems someone took a hammer to this room a while ago, as the toilet is nothing more than shattered porcelain and exposed pipe, with a giant gouge in the shower to match. The sink is intact, but cracked and missing the doors to the cabinet below it. The mirror, oddly, is completely fine. Alastor sighs, rubs his eyes and summons more of the audience to take care of it. He heads back out to the bedroom to check the state of the bed, finding it sheetless and full of gouges, probably from a blade…
Good lord, are all the rooms going to be this bad…?
-
Yes, yes they are. Two more rooms later, and Alastor is ready to throw in the towel. But, he has a reputation to uphold, so he gets to Angel Dust’s room, knocking on the door.
“Cominggggg!” Angel Dust calls from inside, and Alastor can hear him getting up from a very noisy mattress. When Angel Dust opens the door, he’s dressed in a simple pink pajama top and black shorts. “Smiles! Hiya!”
“Good evening, Angel Dust. I came by to ask if your room requires any repairs or modifications. I’ve been fixing up this floor so far, and it’s…hm…”
“Shitty?” Angel Dust offers, leaning against his doorway and casually crossing his arms
“That's an accurate word, yes.”
Angel Dust chuckles, then heads inside his room, “Repairs would be great, Smiles. Come on in.”
Angel Dust’s room isn’t what Alastor was expecting. Mostly because it’s bare, sparsely decorated, and full of boxes. On Angel Dust’s bed, which turns out to be an air mattress, there’s a little pink and black pig, who looks at Alastor in interest
“That’s Fat Nuggets, ya wanna pet him?” Angel Dust asks, sitting on his bed next to the pig
“Would he enjoy that?”
“Aw yeah, he loves it. Don’t ya, Nugs?”
Fat Nuggets oinks, standing up and wandering over to the edge of the bed, flopping into Angel Dust’s lap
“C’mere, I’ll show ya a spot behind his ear that he likes.” Angel Dust says, patting the spot on the bed beside him and Fat Nuggets. Alastor wisely doesn’t sit down, but does go over to them, hovering curiously. Angel Dust takes his hand, guiding him to the spot where the pig’s ear meets his head. “Right there.”
Alastor scratches gently, being careful only to use the very tip of his claw so he doesn’t hurt Fat Nuggets, who oinks and happily settles into the attention. He finds himself enjoying it. He hasn’t encountered many true animals in Hell, especially not so closely. To his secret delight, Fat Nuggets has a curly tail like in cartoons, resembling a tight spring.
“Aw, he likes ya!” Angel Dust says, scratching behind the pig’s other ear
“I'm glad. He’s quite sweet.”
Angel Dust’s fluffy chest puffs out in pride, “A’ course! My lil guy is a gentleman! Ya shoulda seen how popular he was on set!”
Alastor chuckles, “Oh, I’m sure he was a delight. Now, about the repairs?”
“Aw, yeah! Could we start with the bathroom?”
“Certainly.”
“And do ya do just repairs, or can I ask for some…customization?”
Alastor raises an eyebrow, looking down at Angel Dust curiously, “What do you have in mind?”
-
Turns out, everything in the bathroom is far too short for Angel Dust. He towered over the original sink, and had to bend down awkwardly to wash his hair in the original shower. Alastor fixes things to his liking, measuring Angel Dust while audience members adjust accordingly. By request, he turns the floors pink and the walls purple, with the sink, toilet, and shower turning into a lighter baby pink. Around the mirror, he adds bright bulb lights so Angel Dust can do skincare and makeup under proper lighting
Angel Dust claps when it's done, smiling brightly, “Smilessss, I love itttt!”
“I'm very glad. Do you need anything in your room fixed?”
“Aw, shucks, I really do…but are ya okay ta do that? I know the collars…well…” Angel Dust looks away, obviously not wanting to shame Alastor
“There’s no need to sugar coat it. It limits me.” Alastor says, strolling back into Angel Dust’s room, “But not extensively. I’m more than capable of helping you.”
“Fine, fine. But after ya fix it up, will ya take a break?”
“No need, I have other things to do.”
Angel Dust pouts at him, but Alastor ignores it, wandering back over to Fat Nuggets. Angel Dust considers him while he pats the little pig. Hm…If Lucifer owns Alastor, but gave him to Charlie, who assigned him to the hotel…then…
“Smiles, for the good a’ the Hotel, ya have ta take a break!” Angel Dust declares, crossing his arms triumphantly
Notes:
Thank you all for all the kudos and nice comments ah!! ;o; I'm so glad you guys are enjoying it!!
Chapter 6: Angel and Cervo
Summary:
Alastor and Angel finish Angel's room, Alastor takes a break
Notes:
Quick disclaimer that I do NOT know Italian and used a translator, so if my Italian is wrong, please correct me! Same for French, which I only have a basic understanding of (My brain refuses to remember most of the two years of French I had in high school...) Also I tried to find reference photos of Angel's room, so his room here is based off what I could find in concept art and in the show! AND I have no idea what Angel's backstory is, so until I can hunt it down if it's been revealed, I'll stick to what I said in the chapter. Enjoy!! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor’s eyebrow quirks up, and he hums, his voice crackling curiously. Finally, he shrugs, “Fair enough.”
Angel Dust cheers, happily directing Alastor on all the modifications he needs. He watches Alastor order around the smaller demons he can summon, putting down paint and carpet, giving Angel Dust a proper bed (He was on an air-mattress before, as the old bed was half burnt away. Literally.) and fixing the height to Angel Dust’s liking. When the bed is done, Angel Dust unpacks all his pillows and stuffed animals, happily putting his sheets and things on the new bed. From his bed, he watches the demons work
“Hey, Smiles…what do you think about letting me borrow one of these boys? I just love a man with a big…tool.” Angel Dust purrs
Alastor snorts, looking back at Angel Dust with genuine amusement, “If you could convince one. They don’t get out much. And…I’m not sure if their anatomy is functional.”
“Ooo, do ya think they do it when they aren’t around you?”
Alastor laughs loudly, “Of course not!” Then he gives one of his demons a harsh look, the air around him tinting red and his voice making a loud buzzing sound, “RIGHT?”
The demon quickly shakes his head, cowering against the wall. Angel Dust laughs loudly, getting up to unpack more decorations
When Alastor finishes, Angel’s room has purple walls, pink carpet, a dancing pole, a proper bed with pink sheets and a million pillows, a bed for Nugs, posters on the walls, a mini-fridge, and not a box in sight. It makes Angel Dust relax, it makes him feel good. This doesn’t feel temporary now, it feels…well…permanent. But in a good way. A hopeful way. It makes the collar around Angel’s neck itch. He shakes it off, yanking Alastor into a quick, tight hug
“Smilessss, thank ya, thank ya, thank yaaaa!” Angel cheers, letting Alastor go, “I love it!”
“I’m glad you’re happy with it.” Alastor says, sounding pleased with himself
“Damn straight it does! Now take a break! Sit, sit!” Angel says eagerly, walking over to his freshly set-up mini-fridge, “They ain’t cold, but do ya want a beer? Or, or! I gottttt…neva mind, just beer!”
“Sounds…lovely?”
Angel Dust grabs two beers, popping the caps and handing one to Alastor, who is…still standing? “Ya not gonna sit, Smiles?”
“I prefer to stand.”
…oh? Angel studies Alastor’s face for a moment, then it hits him, oh! Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh! Angel sets his beer down and heads over to his bed, quickly stacking up pillows and stuffed animals until he’s made a little seat out of them, almost a nest. He gestures to it proudly, “This does wonders for a sore ass! Believe me, I know!”
Alastor gives it a weary look, but does seem intrigued, going over to it and testing it with his hands. He hums softly, then hands Angel his beer, climbing in with a relieved sigh before he takes it back, “Thank you, Angel Dust.”
“Call me Angel, Smiles. Everyone else does.” Angel says, sitting next to Alastor on the bed, “What about you? Ya got a nickname? Besides Smiles, a course.”
Alastor hums, “The only other nickname that I have is Al, which I don’t particularly care for.”
“Ya name is kinda hard to shorten, though.” Angel says, tapping his chin thoughtfully, “Hm…” Angel thinks about it for a minute, staring at Alastor for any nicknamable features. What if he…aha! “What about Rosso? That’s red in Italian. Or,” he giggled, “Piccolo Rosso? Little Red? Or Cervo, that's deer! Ooo, ooo, Piccolo Cervo Rosso!”
“I believe nicknames are supposed to be shorter than one’s actual name, Angel. And…Alastor is fine, as well.”
“I think I’ll choose all of the above, Cervo!” Angel says, giggling to himself. Alastor chuckles too, settling more into Angel’s bed. They settle into a comfortable silence, both sipping their beers and admiring Angel’s room
“So, you speak Italian?” Alastor asks after a while
“Ah, not very well these days…but yeah.”
“Is that where you’re from?”
Angel nods, “Piedmont. I grew up workin’ a vineyard. What about you?”
“Louisiana.”
“What?! Seriously?! Do ya speak French?!” Angel asks, laying back on his elbows and giving Alastor an excited look
“Un peu.” Alastor says, just a touch of his old accent slipping in
“Oh that's sexy! Say something else!”
“Non.”
Angel laughs loudly, “Aw, you’re no fun!” He sips his beer and they fall back into silence. When Angel’s beer is empty, he traces the glass with his finger, “So…you and Lucifer fucked?”
Alastor chokes on his beer, coughing loudly. Angel laughs, patting his back. When Alastor collects himself and stops coughing, he gives Angel an utterly confused look, “What on earth gave you that idea?”
“Uh, the sore ass? What else?”
“Oh!…fair enough, I hadn’t thought about that.” Alastor sighed, then finished off his beer, “…no, we didn’t have sex. Lucifer is…a disciplinarian.”
“Ya got spanked?” Angel gasped, sitting up and looking at Alastor with wide eyes
Alastor looked away, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, “…yes. That’s not public knowledge, by the way. I’m not at all proud of it-“
“Hey, now, I ain’t no judge! And I certainly ain’t no snitch!…bein’ collared…I get it. You don’t get ta choose how you’re treated…” Angel said, his voice getting softer as he spoke, “And when they wanna punish ya…ya just gotta take it. I get it, Cervo, really, I do…”
Alastor nodded, a bit surprised at how…serious…Angel took this, “Right…I suppose you do get it…”
“It’s got its ups and downs, huh? Ya get protection, status, fame…but you’re a pet. Property…somethin’ pretty to shine up and show off, then toss away…”
“…yes. It does feel that way, sometimes…” Alastor mumbled, “Valentino…?”
“Is a jerk. And not ta be rude, but I don’t like talkin’ about him.” At just the mention of Valentino, Angel crosses his arms, seeming to shrink into himself
“That’s understandable. I don’t really like bringing up Lucifer either…”
Angel offers Alastor a slight smile at this, “Noted…can I ask one thing, though?”
“You may.”
“What’d you do?”
-
Instead of answering, Alastor takes Angel Dust outside to see the sign. When Angel sees it, he crumbles to the ground, in tears from laughing so hard.
“No- bahahahaHA! No WAY you did that, Smiles! Holy SHIT!” Angel cackles, on his knees and hitting the ground with his fist. When he looks at the sign again, he howls with laughter all over again, “Oh, it hurts! My stomach! Holy shit! That is SO FUNNY!”
Alastor beams, “I thought it was an improvement.”
“It totally-!” Angel snorts loudly, crumbling into more giggles, “It totally is! Holyyyyy shit! That is too good! Wow!”
“I'm glad you like it.”
When Angel Dust can pull himself together and get up again, he gives Alastor a big, genuine smile, “Woo! Thanks for that, Rosso, I really needed that laugh. You ain’t half bad, you know that?”
“You as well. Let me know if you require any more repairs.”
Angel Dust nods, then puts a hand on Alastor’s shoulder, “And if ya ever need a break…or a hiding spot from ta royals…doors open.”
“…thank you. That’s…kind of you.”
“Weren’t expectin’ it? I'm more than a pretty face, Red!” Angel says, batting his eyelashes dramatically
“ANGELLLL? ARE YOU OUT HERE?” A voice called from the doorway
“Aw, crap, that’s Charlie. You need a distraction, Red?” Angel asks
Alastor shakes his head, “Very kind of you to offer, but no. If you’d like a distraction, I have a bridge to build.”
“Shit yeah, I gotta get a couple real drinks in me to deal with…all that.”
“Go ahead.”
Angel smiles, nods, and runs off somewhere. Alastor takes a deep, steadying breath.
Time to face the princess
Notes:
Thank you all so much for the kudos and lovely comments, you guys inspired me to write so much that I'm a couple chapters ahead, so here's chapter 6 early!! I really hope you guys are enjoying Alastor and Angel, because I love this little friendship I'm building up for them!! :D
Chapter 7: Community
Summary:
Alastor faces Charlie, and Charlie begins to face the realities of Hell
Notes:
When Mimzy said a couple fingers of rye turned Alastor into a kitten, I knew I had to add that in here >:) Enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor takes his shadow to Charlie, appearing in front of her. He bows, but is instantly yanked into a bone crushing hug. Lord, the princess is strong-!
“Alastorrrr!” Charlie cries, instantly teary eyed as she looks up at Alastor, “I am so, so, so, so, so sorryyyyyy! I thought my Dad would-! I mean I-!” Somehow, she cries harder, “Alastorrrr!”
Alastor awkwardly pats her head, a bit out of breath from her tight grip, “Oh, there, there, dear. You cannot control the actions of your father.”
“I-I told him, I told him to go easy-! I swear I did! I’m so sorryyyyy!” Charlie buries her head into Alastor’s chest, sobbing loudly into it
Alastor pets her hair. How interesting…not even Charlie can protect someone from Lucifer’s wrath…he’d have to remember that. Poor girl must’ve felt helpless in the mansion, seeing the flock be kept ‘in line’, as Lucifer put it. Perhaps that’s why she's so…emotional…at the idea of Alastor being distressed. How is this girl the princess of hell? She’s so…hm…
“My dear, don’t waste your tears on me.” Alastor said, his voice coming out a bit softer than he intended. He can’t help it. He doesn’t like seeing a woman be sad. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he has a soft spot for women. Especially when men upset them…, “You did your best, my dear. I wouldn’t want you to be scolded for trying to assist me.”
Charlie continues to cry. It’s a loud, pitiful sound, like an abandoned kitten. It’s also drawing the attention of a few demons across the street. When one pulls out his phone, Alastor uses his magic. As he told Vox all those years ago…he has a face for radio, and he refuses to show up on film. So, he makes himself glitch. On second thought, he spreads it to Charlie too. If she looks weak on the news, it’ll bring her father back like a moth to a flame, and he can’t deal with that insufferable man again today. Alastor shuffles them inside, locking the door behind them when they’re in
At the bar, Husker is cleaning glasses and chatting with Angel. When he sees Alastor, he snorts, “Got something on your shirt, Al.”
Angel gives Charlie a sympathetic look, “You okay, Toots?”
Charlie doesn’t respond, so Alastor speaks for her, “She's quite upset that her father is…well…”
“Heavy handed.” Husker finishes for him. He pulls down a bottle of grenadine and some vodka, “Princess, would a drink help?”
“Pour light.” Angel whispers, “She can’t handle more than half a beer.”
Wisely, Husker switches the vodka out for white wine, mixing club soda, the wine and a shit load of cherry grenadine into a cold glass. He digs around the bar, finding a pink swirly straw and dunking it in, “There. This look any good?”
Charlie peeks out from Alastor’s chest, nodding with a wet little sniffle. Alastor shuffles them over, sitting shoulder to shoulder with Charlie at the bar, noting that Charlie is gripping the sleeve of his suit for dear life
“Rye, Al?” Husker asks, turning and taking down the bottle before Alastor can even respond
Alastor chuckles, “You know me well.”
“Ohhhh, a whiskey fan, Red?” Angel asks
“Among other things.” Alastor says, catching the glass when Husker slides it over
Husker looks at Charlie, seeing the way she’s not meeting any of their eyes. He walks over, leaning down on the bar, “Alright, Kid. Whatsamatter? Talk to the barkeep.”
Charlie sighs, tracing her finger along her glass absentmindedly, “I just wish…that my Dad…” she lays her head down in her arm on the bar, looking up at Husker, “…I wish he was nicer. I wish he’d…” she looks away, “I don’t know. I don’t think I really believe in owning souls…”
“You don’t own any?” Husker asks, refilling Angel’s empty glass at a glance
“I…was supposed to get some. When I came of age. But I said no. I don’t like being feared. I don’t like forcing people to be here. I want people to want to be here! And be redeemed! And go to Heaven!”
Husker and Alastor share a look, but say nothing
Charlie sips her drink through the swirly straw, “I want a better life for my people. Hell is so…lonely…if nothing else, I want this hotel to be a community. How can it be a community when my Dad is hitting my friends?”
Husker sighs, considering something before he speaks, “…in a lot of ways, you’re right. But…your father has built a community too. The flock is…” he searches for the word for it, “…a collective. When Lucifer recognizes who you work well with, he keeps you together. Things get…well, friendly, when you experience so much together. I’ve known Nifty since she joined, and I’ve known Al for decades.”
Al leans his glass towards Husker in acknowledgment, giving him an approving nod
“Don't get me wrong, Princess. I don’t like bein’ owned. Sometimes, it’s suffocating. It can be infuriating. His desires derail my life. But…he also guarantees my safety from the overlords, or any schmuck on the streets. And we always gather up on extermination day. Even when Lucifer was…inactive, he made sure every one of us was safe in his house.”
“You guys were at the mansion? Why have I never met you?” Charlie asks softly
“With how many lambs Lucifer has? Doesn’t surprise me at all. I knew he had a daughter, that's about it.” Husker says, fetching more grenadine for Charlie, “Princess, if I can be perfectly honest?”
“Please.”
“I don’t like being owned by Lucifer. But I’d never want someone else to own me. If I had to choose someone to own my soul…I’d pick him. Al?” Husker turns to Alastor, “We agree?”
“We agree.” Alastor says, pushing his empty glass over, “If I could be free, I would be. But if I had to pick someone, it would be the king. I may be mocked for belonging to him, but nobody genuinely bothers me. Not even my rival.” Alastor grins, raising his refilled glass to his lips, “Having a guard dog is quite satisfying.”
Husker snorts, “You would’ve been killed for that mouth a yours years ago without Lucifer.”
“Once again, we are in agreement.”
“I think I get it…” Charlie says, in deep consideration, “I still wish I could help you guys…”
“With all due respect, Princess. Don’t put ya neck on the block for us.” Husker says, shining a glass, “We willingly sold our souls to Lucifer, ain’t nobody forced us to.”
“But…why did you-“
“Charlie! There you are, Honey, I’ve been looking for you!”
They all turn around, seeing Vaggie standing at the bottom of her stairs in her pajamas. Charlie blushes, smiling at her and standing up, finally letting go of Alastor’s sleeve
“I’ll see you guys tomorrow…okay?” Charlie says sweetly, eyes still fixed on Vaggie
“Of course. Here you are.” Alastor says, giving her the letter from his jacket
Charlie looks confused, then softens, “Alastor…”
“I insist, dear.”
“Okay…thank you, Alastor. Goodnight, guys.”
When Charlie leaves, Alastor stands too, “I think I’ll head to bed as well. Goodnight, you two.”
“Night, Al.”
“Nighty-night, Lil Red!”
Alastor takes his shadow up to his room, stumbling a bit when he reappears. Ugh…he’d had a touch bit too much to drink. He was far from drunk, but definitely teetering into tipsy territory. He strips down, hanging up his clothes with the help of his shadow. Once he’s in pajamas, he flops into bed on his stomach, staring down at his floor
What a day…that’s far from the first spanking he’s ever gotten, and definitely not the first time Lucifer has pet him…Alastor wonders, as he touches his ear…does Lucifer like petting Alastor because…oh, the alcohol is making the floor sway…
What was he thinking about? Oh…Fat Nuggets, the darling little devil pig. It delighted Alastor…making him…happy…scratching behind his ears…and Charlie. Poor, sweet girl…petting her hair calmed her…good…really good…does…Lucifer do that to him…to make him…happy? Alastor laughs at the idea…maybe it’s…calming…maybe it’s for Luci…to sooth his…conscience…
Alastor’s so tired…it was a big day, and there’s more work to be done tomorrow…
Alastor drifts off, his hand at his ear…
Notes:
Thank you guys for all the kudos and comments!! I've been excited to post this all day!! :)) I hope you all liked it!!
Chapter 8: Alastor's commercial
Summary:
At Vaggie's insistence, Alastor makes a commercial for the hotel!
Notes:
We've finally reached episode 1 of the series! Please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor spends 3 more days fixing up the first floor. Just when he thought he was done, there was a pipe burst that flooded the hallway. That day, he and Angel taught each-other to swear in their languages while trying to shut off the water.
Angel is a nice companion to have, as he often gets home from work in the early morning hours, when Alastor is deep into a repair. Tired as they both are, they chat for a bit. Really, they talk about anything besides ownership or work.
When the first floor is done, Alastor collapses into bed and sleeps a day away. Damn collar…limiting him…He better get that gold star so he can show Lucifer that someone is managing this hotel, certainly not him…
Alastor is woken up by a loud pounding at the door. He growls, quickly tying his hair back into a small ponytail and opening the door in only his red button-up and black dress pants, “Yes-? Oh. Hello, Miss Vaggie.”
“Hi. Did I wake you?” Vaggie asks, who’s obviously been up for a while
“No, no, of course not. Simply recovering from working on the first floor.” Alastor doesn’t expect or crave praise from Vaggie. They were cordial with each other. Straight to the point. Matter of fact.
“Right. I wanted to ask you…do you know anything about making a commercial? Charlie is getting a bit…antsy, that nobody new has shown up yet. I don’t know much about how commercials are actually made, honestly.” Vaggie says, looking away and crossing her arms, “So, I figured I’d come and ask you.”
“A commercial is typically written, then read aloud on a broadcast-“
“No, I mean like…a tv commercial.”
Alastor’s nose scrunches up, his smile tightening, “My dear, radio is the proper way to express oneself. A tv is nothing more than a noisy picture box.”
“Can’t you make an exception?” Vaggie asks, surprisingly pitiful looking
“I’d be more than happy to advise the hotel on my radio broadcast. In fact, I could head over to my tower and record something this afternoon.” Alastor says, giving her a polite but firm smile
“Okay…I guess I’ll just have to ask Lucifer to help out-” Vaggie says, turning to leave
Alastor’s eye twitches, swearing internally as he steps behind Vaggie, “Fine. But I make no promises.”
Vaggie turns back with a smile, “Thank you. I’m gonna go check on Charlie, come find me when it’s done.”
“Yes, yes, see you later.” Alastor said, turning away and rolling his eyes. Ugh, as if there wasn’t enough to do around here…“Ah, Miss Vaggie, one more thing?”
“Yeah?” Vaggie asks, coming back over
“Please inform Charlie that this,” Alastor hands Vaggie the first floor list, “is finished, and the first floor is ready for housing.”
“Ah. Good news. Thanks.” She takes the list and leaves
Alastor summons a video camera, his skin crawling at the idea of actually using one of these things. Modern technology is a waste of time…but it’s much better than Lucifer hearing that Alastor refused to aid his daughter…so, Alastor heads outside, ready to shoot
-
The commercial opened with two demons taking turns stabbing each-other. When Alastor’s hand came into frame, the video buzzed and went staticky, “Why hello there, you irredeemable sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature?” More demons appeared, looking at the camera in either confusion or disinterest, “Of course you do! That’s why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?!”
The scene cut and reopened outside of the hotel, the camera quickly panning up, “Welcome to The Happy- oh, the sign is still up- The Hazbin Hotel! A…passionate attempt at redemption!”
The scene cut again, reopening on Charlie, who turned and waved awkwardly when the camera was on her, “Founded 5 days ago by Lucifer’s charming daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!” Angel came behind her, giving her bunny ears behind her head with a huge smile.
The scene cut again, showing footage from Charlie’s interview with an unimpressed looking Katie Killjoy, “Come place your fate in her eager hands as she tries to convince us all that redemption is possible!”
The scene cut, reopening with the camera walking into the hotel, Razzle and Dazzle mopping and dusting the entryway, “Here we offer fun things! Such as copious amounts of alcohol!” He panned over to Husker, whose face split into a smile that looked like he’d been given horrible news, Nifty running after a cockroach and trying to stab it, “And 24 hour pest control!” The camera cut to show one of the rooms Alastor had fixed up, “Custom rooms,” it cut to Angel and Charlie’s cat (Who he found out after filming was named KeeKee) sitting in the parlor, “And just look at this…decorated parlor!”
“Enjoy riveting conversation with our one and only resident!” The camera zoomed in on Angel, who smiled and waved to the camera, mouthing, ‘Hi, Red!’
“All this and more,” the shot opened on a drawing of the hotel Alastor had made and taped to bloody cardboard, “At The Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!” Their new number, that Alastor had begrudgingly set up on a phone in the parlor, flashed on-screen. The commercial cut out, now over
“So, what did you think!” Alastor asked sweetly, crossing in front of the tube tv that he’d (again, begrudgingly) allowed into the hotel
Charlie and Vaggie sat on the couch in front of Alastor, both looking a bit put off. Charlie speaks first, standing up and pulling out a sheet of gold star stickers, “Wow! First of all,” she pops off a sticker, putting it up on Alastor’s cheek, “great job on the first floor! It’s beautiful!”
“Thank you, my dear.” Alastor purrs, looking extremely pleased and accepting a new list from her
“Second of all, the commercial…ah…” Charlie trails off, thinking about how to put it as she sits back down, “Well…thank you so much for making it! It’s seriously a-mazing! Like…wow! But just, one…itty, bitty note…maybe the tone is a bit…off?”
Alastor’s eyes narrowed. Off? He hadn’t wanted to make this thing in the first place, and she thinks it’s off?
“We want people to want to come to the hotel! This…makes it look…ah…”
“Bad. It makes it look bad.” Vaggie said shortly, “It barely mentioned how we’re trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point!”
“Vaggie is right, Alastor! The point of the commercial was to let sinners know that we’re trying to…help them!”
“Well, my dear, I’m afraid I simply don’t know much about this media! Radio is my form of expression, and I’m happy to use it to aid you! But this,” Alastor summoned his microphone, tapping it against the tv, “noisy little picture box, simply isn’t my forte! So, I had a little fun with it and made my best guess!”
“Oh, fun?! You had fun with it?! Well this is not what we wanted to represent us!” Vaggie gets up, standing directly on the couch, “When you showed up last week, Lucifer promised you would help run this hotel!”
Alastor’s eye twitches. He does run this hotel, thank you very much. The lobby was only still standing because of him.
From the couch where he was sprawled out, Angel lazily raises his hand, “If ya tryna shoot a commercial, might I suggest takin’ advantage of ta talented celebrity ya got,” Angel sits up, grabs a beer, cracks it open and points at himself, “Right here?”
“Angel. You’re a porn-star.” Vaggie says flatly
“A famous porn-star!” Angel corrects, “I’ll have ta horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in!” Angel lays back down on the couch, sipping his beer
“We’re not shooting a porn as a commercial!”
“Why not?! Sex sells, don’t it?”
Alastor takes his shadow over to Angel, who happily moves his feet so Alastor can sit next to him, which he does, allowing Angel to lay his long legs across his lap
“I swear, if you film me and Grumpy Cat,” Angel jerks his thumb behind him, where Husker is shining glasses, “over there goin’ at it, you’d be rollin’ in participants wanting to stay at this tacky hotel.”
“Never gonna happen, spider!” Husker snaps, “I’m only here cuz I have to be!”
Charlie’s phone suddenly goes off, an annoying, quick paced song blasting out of it, “Oh, excuse me.” She takes it and goes to the stairwell, “Hello?”
Angel turns back to Husker, mocking him with a voice most only reserved for babies or animals, “Aw, what, you don’t love bein’ here with me and your buddies, whiskers?”
“Call me whiskers again and I’ll shove this bottle down your throat!” Husker hisses
“Kinkyyyyy! Come on, big daddy, keep talkin’ dirty!" Angel purred, coaxing him over with his finger
“Angel, please just let Husk do his job.” Vaggie said, now standing on the floor
“Yeah, yeah, toots, okay.” Angel huffs, waving her off, “Don’t come bawlin’ when this little…idea don’t work, though. Far as I’m concerned, Hell is ta end of ta line.”
“Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be! And we could prove that it isn’t, if we had a resident that gave a shit instead of using us for a free room!” Vaggie spat
Angel’s eyes narrowed, “Y’know what? I don’t have to take this, and neither does Red. You didn’t even say thank you for ta commercial he made! So don’t come crying to us when you need help!” With this, Angel sits up, scoops Alastor up, throws him over his shoulder and marches upstairs. When they’re up there, he gently sets Alastor down, keeping his voice low, “Sorry for manhandling ya.”
“No, no, perfectly fine. I appreciate being rescued from that ungrateful girl.” Alastor says, also keeping his voice low
“Vaggie, holy shit!” Charlie cried, waving her over to the staircase
Angel’s eyebrow went up, “She’s excited.”
“Isn’t she always?” Alastor muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly
Vaggie walked over to Charlie, “What’s up, Hun?”
Charlie took a deep breath, “My dad just called! He said the leader of the angels wants to meet with him-! And he asked me to come along with him! He says my hotel could be used as a talking point! We might be able to get rid of exterminations!”
“What? Charlie, the angels won’t…I mean…”
Before Vaggie can say anything more, Charlie bursts into song about going to Heaven and changing their minds. Angel and Alastor lean over the banister, watching her twirl and sing as Vaggie tries to calm her down. Charlie twirls her towards the stairs, running off as soon as Vaggie’s back is turned
“Okay, just don’t sing to them-“ Vaggie says, finding the main door wide open, “Wha-“
“Aye! Your princess is halfway down the street! Dancing!” Angel yells down to her, he and Alastor laughing when Vaggie sprints after her. He turns to Alastor, “So, you're starting on the second floor?”
“Unfortunately.” Alastor says, rolling his eyes
“Need some company?”
“…yes.” Alastor says, pleasantly surprised, “That’d be lovely.”
“Then lead the way, Lil Red!”
Notes:
Thank you guys so much for the the kudos and nice comments!! :3 I'll hopefully have another chapter up tomorrow, but I'm a bit under the weather so if it's late, I do apologize! ;3; Pls feel free, as always, to leave suggestions for chapters! Especially things for Alastor to get in trouble for, hehe >:3
Chapter 9: Vaggie's commercial
Summary:
Vaggie tries to make a new commercial for the hotel!
Notes:
Quick note before the chapter, I added a small scene to chapter 8 after Angel takes Alastor upstairs, so a future plot point might not make sense without going back and reading this new scene! :) Please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It only takes Alastor fixing one room (While Angel “supervises” on the bed) before Vaggie finds them. She seems surprised that they’re together, gesturing between them, “You two seem…friendly.”
“Sure! We have a lot in common!” Angel chirps, then gives Alastor a roll of his eyes, as if to say, ‘Look who’s back already’
Alastor chuckles, continuing his work on the bathroom pipes
Vaggie comes further into the room, “…Angel, will you-“
“Not unless ya apologize to Red.”
Vaggie sighs dramatically, crossing her arms and looking away, “Fucking- fine. Alastor, I’m sorry.”
“Into my good ear?” Alastor purrs, putting his hand up to cup his ear, making Angel burst out laughing
“Oh, fuck you! Angel, come on!” Vaggie huffs, grabbing Angel by one of his arms and dragging him out
“Byeeee, Red!” Angel shouts behind him, then tears his arm away from Vaggie, “I’m comin, I’m comin! Yeesh! What do ya even want?!”
“Charlie’s out meeting with the angels, so I need your help putting a new commercial together. Remember how you wanted to act in it?”
“Mm…what’s in it fer me, hm? I don’t work fer free.” Angel asked, crossing all his arms
“…I’ll give you a coupon. One day off from Charlie’s exercises-“
“Deal. LET’S GO PEOPLE, WE’RE MAKIN A COMMERCIAL ‘ERE!” Angel yells, marching ahead of Vaggie
This should be interesting…
-
Vaggie’s commercial opens with Angel and Husker, who are both sitting up on the bar. Angel is in full actor mode, while Husker looked like he wanted to die all over again. He hated acting. But if Lucifer found out he refused to be in this thing…Husker shuddered
“Annnndddd, action!” Vaggie yelled
Husker sighed and began, “Welcome to The Hazbin Hotel…can I help you with anything…?” God, this was worse than the rubber duck plays Lucifer used to have them perform on extermination days…‘lighten the mood! Show that nobody’s going to die!’
“I’ve been a bad boy…and I need a big, strong Daddy to put me in my place…” Angel purred, advancing towards Husker and reaching for his face. Then, he sat at the bar, giving Husker more space, “On the path to redemption!”
Husker growled lowly, rolling his eyes. He could be gambling right now. Drinking. Watching paint dry. Anything would be better than this…, “Well…you’ve come-“
“Ohhhh, yes!” Angel moaned, grinning when he saw Vaggie’s eye twitch. That was for Red, ya prissy princess’s pet…
“To the right place…” Husker finished, half-tempted to storm off and drink the bar dry
“Cut!” Vaggie growled, turning the camera off. These fucking sinners-! “Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible! And Husk, can you try to sound happy?!”
“I ain’t no mascot!” Husker snarled, grabbing a bottle and popping the cork out, “You want Barney up in here, call Barney!”
“I’ll call Lucifer-!”
“I don’t care if ya call the pope! I’m not singing and dancing just because some unowned bitch wants me to! I ain’t doin’ this!” With that, Husk storms off, taking the bottle with him. Admittedly, the threat of Lucifer scared him, but if Lucifer showed up…he could convince him to go easy. Afterall, Husker hasn’t gotten much sleep lately…too much to do, and he’s always running the bar. Actually, he should grab Nifty and put her to bed too. That girl already has a tendency to work until she passes out. And Alastor…if he saw him on the way, he’d suggest a break, but Alastor was stubborn, and Husker is entirely too tired to deal with that right now
Angel watches Husker leave, genuinely surprised. Wow. He had guts. Angel’s never seen someone refuse to bend or cower like that before. He’d have to try and spend more time with the bartender…he seems just as tired and frustrated as Alastor…
“Husk, come on-! Augh!” Vaggie stormed off, taking her camera with her. Actually, it was the same camera Alastor had used for his commercial. If Lucifer saw how damn bratty his ‘precious little lambs’ are, he could whip them into shape for a proper commercial…but…Charlie would hate that. She already cried over Alastor being punished, both Alastor and Husk would make her hysterical…
…could she get it done before Charlie got back?
-
Vaggie got Lucifer's voicemail. Ugh, stupid-! Charlie just told her that Lucifer would be with her in the meeting!
“Lucifer Morningstar here, leave your message after the beep.”
*Beeppppp*
“Uh…hey, Mr. Morningstar!” Vaggie said awkwardly. Ugh, she had to work on being less nervous around Lucifer, it’s just…she shook it off. Focus. “This is Vaggie. Uh…Charlie’s girlfriend? Sorry- you know who I am- let me start over. I’m trying to make a commercial. For the hotel. For Charlie. And your, uh…lovely lambs won’t help me. Husk practically cussed me out over it, actually. Could you come and help? I really want Charlie’s hotel to do well…thanks, see you soon.”
Vaggie hung up, feeling a small pit in her stomach. Was that the right thing to do…?
Notes:
Thank you all for the kudos and comments!! I can't believe we're at 500 views like wowowow!! :D Next chapter will come out tomorrow! I'm excited for it! :D Also thank you to the people who comment on every episode, a special forehead kiss for y'all, you're the best >:,3
Chapter 10: The Product of Sin
Summary:
Lucifer and Charlie meet with Heaven, Lucifer addresses his lambs
Notes:
WOWOWOWOWWOWOW thank you all SO much for all the lovely comments!! :3 I'm so glad everyone is getting so invested in the drama and the relationships, it makes me super happy!! >:) Here's the next chapter super early because I was so stoked to read everyone's thoughts last time!! Enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“So, as you can see, The Hazbin Hotel is a surefire way to escape hellfire! Little joke there, haha…ha…” Charlie cleared her throat awkwardly, desperately avoiding eye-contact with the unimpressed looking angels, “Anyways…that’s…all my points!” Charlie quickly sat down next to Lucifer
“Good job, Kiddo.” Lucifer whispered to her, then stood up, facing the angels, “My daughter’s program is still new, and we lack evidence that it’s mission is possible. However, if we moved back the extermination, that would give us time to-“
“Hang on, Grandpa, you don’t have any evidence?!” The angel across from them, Adam, spat, “What the fuck is this, then, take your daughter to work day?!”
“No, just proof of our efforts to improve Hell’s overpopulation and work with Heaven.” Lucifer replied calmly, “Our people have a shot at redemption.”
“Uh, yeah right! Hell is nothing but a boiling pot of debauchery!”
“Our people have good in them!” Charlie snapped back, standing beside her dad, “I don’t know what your problem with the crown is, but-!”
“Your dad fucked my wife!”
“U-Uh…”
“And you’re their kid! You're the product of him fucking my wife!”
Charlie silently sat down, face flushed. Ohhhh…this was Adam. First man Adam. Yikkkkkeeeeesssss…
“Listen, you can whine and bitch and moan for ‘redemption’ all you want! But it doesn’t change the fact that the extermination is happening! And ooo, we’re nearly out of time- so hey, heads up, it’s coming in six months! Later, hellspawn!” Adam snarled, flipping them both off as he disappeared
“WHAT?!”
-
Vaggie heard the front door unlock, and she nervously went to it. She found Charlie and Lucifer deep in conversation
“That's my current plan of action. If things go south, you and the lambs will be safe.” Lucifer said, not even noticing Vaggie’s presence. He walked over the stairwell, “LAMBS! HERE! NOW!” Then went back to Charlie
“But what about residents of the hotel?” Charlie pleaded, “I can’t just hide away, knowing my friends are being slaughtered!”
“Duckling, if I did that, then everyone would be begging me for refuge. I barely get away with favoring my lambs as it is.”
“But, Dad-!”
Lucifer put his hands on Charlie’s shoulders, looking her in the eye, “Charlie. I’ll think about it. But no promises.” He turned back to the stairwell, “LAMBS, I SWEAR!”
Alastor appeared, his hair sopping wet and dripping onto the floor. Lucifer softened immediately, and with a snap of his fingers, Alastor’s hair and clothes were dry again. Alastor gave him a grateful look, “I apologize. I had to fix a burst pipe, your majesty.”
“Oh, you poor thing. Do you know where the others are?” Lucifer asked, going over and gently fixing Alastor’s hair, smoothing it back
“Asleep, I believe.”
“Could you go get them?”
Alastor nodded, disappearing into his shadow. Moments later, he came downstairs with a wide-eyed and shaking Husker and a sleepy looking Nifty.
Husker reached Lucifer first, “Your majesty, I can explain-“
“Shhhh, it’s okay, Kitty. I would’ve let you rest, but we need to go to the mansion.” Lucifer soothed, pulling all his lambs in close. As they disappeared in Lucifer’s magic, he said to Charlie, “I’ll have them back by tomorrow!”
“Tomorrow…? Why…?” Vaggie asked, giving Charlie a worried look
Charlie sighed, “Vaggie….I need to talk to you and Angel. It’s pretty serious…”
-
“Okay, everyone, alright!” Lucifer called over his now packed parlor, “Settle down! I love that we’re excited and socializing, but this isn’t a social call! Everyone get into your groups, and raise your hand when you know that your group is all here!”
Alastor scooped up Nifty, putting her up on his head, inbetween his ears. He gave Husker a nod, then raised his hand. It was easy for them, they were the smallest group. Most groups had anywhere from 10-20 demons in them. Their group would be larger, but frankly, Husker and Alastor weren’t the social type, and Nifty was too social. Her last group’s top left molars are still somewhere in her possession. Luckily for Alastor and Husker, she was into scraps of hair now, which was easier to replace.
Lucifer gives them a satisfied nod when everyone’s hands are up, “Alright! As some of you know, my daughter and I went to speak to the leader of the angels today! And…it didn’t go well! It went…well, rather poorly! The next extermination has been moved up! In six months, you’ll all gather here again-!”
A shocked mummer went throughout the crowd, with some younger members crying out or shouting questions. Alastor’s group stayed quiet. This was far from their first time realizing just how much Heaven despised them.
“Lambs, please-! HEY!” The parlor went silent, “Someone remind me how many lambs I’ve lost!”
“Zero!” Someone in the back piped up
“Exactly! I’d die before I let Heaven take any one of you! New members, experienced members, well behaved, poorly behaved- you’re all mine! And anyone that wants to take what’s mine will have to go through me! You’re safe here! If I ever doubted that, I’d move you somewhere that was! Am I understood?”
Demons nodded or cheered, with Alastor and Husker clapping
“Good! Now, we all know that we can’t trust Heaven to keep their word, so one week before the extermination, we’ll gather here! Anyone that's late is getting spanked, am I understood?!”
There were more cheers, if a bit more hesitant ones
“Good! Finally, you're all staying here tonight! Nobody will return to their work stations until tomorrow afternoon! Take this time to socialize, relax, and get some sleep! Dinner will be catered at 6! Anyone that wants to speak, I’ll be in my office to begin my preparations! That's all, I’ll see you at 6!” Lucifer turned away, several demons following him, even more cheering for him
Alastor turned to Husker, “Hell must be in absolute chaos.”
Husker sighed, crossing his arms, “Ain’t often I feel lucky to be a lamb…but extermination days are a definite exception…”
“Same here…” Alastor mumbled, then suddenly remembered, “By the way, how did Vaggie’s commercial turn out?”
Husker sucked in a breath through his teeth, looking away, “Ah…that…I should probably go talk to Lucifer about that…” he gave Alastor a nervous smile, “I sorta cussed her out.”
Alastor blinked at him, once, twice, then gave him a pitying look, “Oh…it was nice knowing you, I suppose.”
“Oh, ha, ha! How much trouble do you think I'm in?!”
“If it didn’t involve Charlie, I’d say the paddle. But it does involve Charlie. So, ah…nice knowing you?”
Over their heads, an intercom crackled, “Alastor, Husk, Nifty. My study. Now.”
“…nice knowing us?” Husker said, already shaking
“I despise you.”
Notes:
I hope you guys enjoy this one!! :3 Drama is comingggg! I'm not sure yet if the next punishment will be next chapter or chapter 12 (I got so excited to post that at the time of posting this, chapter 11 isn't even finished) but it's definitely coming soon! I gotta ask! Are we interested in seeing Husk's punishment, or are we here for Alastor alone? >:) Let me know in the comments! Thank you all!!
Chapter 11: Over my knee
Summary:
Lucifer corrects his lambs
Notes:
Punishment in this chapter! Starts at "Save your breath, over my knee." and ends at "Hm. Odd."
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Uh…hey, Mr. Morningstar! This is Vaggie. Uh…Charlie’s girlfriend? Sorry- you know who I am- let me start over. I’m trying to make a commercial. For the hotel. For Charlie. And your, uh…lovely lambs won’t help me. Husk practically cussed me out over it, actually. Could you come and help? I really want Charlie’s hotel to do well…thanks, see you soon.”
“‘Beep!’ Message finished! Replay message?”
Lucifer set his phone down, facing his lambs with a thoroughly unimpressed look on his face, “So…who wants to explain first?”
“Awwww! Vaggie didn’t ask me to help with a commercial!” Nifty whined, her eye filling with tears
“Nifty, sweetie, she didn’t say Husk and Alastor had been bad, she said the lambs had been bad. All of you.” Lucifer said with a heavy sigh, tucking his head into his hand and staring off to the side
“Hang on! I don’t care if I get whooped for this, but Nifty didn’t do anything!” Husker barked, then quivered when Lucifer’s eyes shifted to him
“Again, she said it was all of you.”
“It wasn’t! Come on, she can barely tell us apart!”
“Excuse me?” Lucifer asked, his head lifting off his hand. Alastor and Nifty quickly stepped to the side, desperately trying to avoid the apparent try for dominance
“Look, it was just me! These other two were just workin’ their asses off, as usual! It’s not our fault that your daughter’s bitch thinks we’re some goddamn actors!”
Alastor sucked in a breath, tucking Nifty behind his back. Dammit, Husk…Lucifer might’ve been reasonable, might’ve called Vaggie and asked for specifics on who did what, but now they were screwed. Nobody insulted Charlie, what she did, or the partner she chose without dire consequences. Husker may be trying to protect them in his…well…tired looking state, but he’d went for an ankle and hit an artery. By the twitch in Lucifer’s hand, they might all get the paddle, and if he tried to do that to Nifty…
Lucifer sucked in a breath, then let it out, “Husk, Nifty, go find corners. Alastor, come talk to me.”
He had to go first?! Oh, he’d rather die again-! Obediently, Alastor went to Lucifer, “Your majesty?”
“So where were you in all this?” Lucifer asked, resting his head in his hand and looking up at Alastor, “Husk cussed Vaggie out, Nifty did something I can’t get her to admit to, and you…?”
“I made a commercial that Charlie didn’t like, it was-“
“Save your breath. Over my knee.”
Alastor shuddered, realizing too late that he should’ve explained what the commercial was before admitting Charlie didn’t like it. Lucifer was too pissed to even question it, and if Alastor tried to argue…ugh…he got over Lucifer’s knee
Lucifer unbuckled Alastor’s belt and tossed it to the side, hiking Alastor’s pants and boxers down to his knees. Alastor yelped, not used to being so…exposed…oh no, that could only mean one thing…
Sure enough, Lucifer summoned a hairbrush. Alastor saw that brush in his nightmares. It was thick, made out of Agarwood, with undeniably gorgeous black and grey patterning, but lined in gold trim that left a considerable mark. At least with the paddle, it was a quick punishment, but Lucifer could spend hours using the brush. And with Alastor’s bottoms reduced to a useless puddle of cloth at his feet, his thighs were going to be a wreck. Lucifer usually wasn’t unfair, but this was infuriating-!
“HEY! Antlers away, Alastor!” Lucifer snapped
Alastor quickly reeled himself back in, not even realizing his antlers had been growing and twisting from his rage boiling over. The collar prevented his body from growing, but Alastor could safely bet that his stitches were showing…
Lucifer huffed at him like an irritated child, then brought the brush down just above the back of Alastor’s left knee. The crack! echoed throughout the study, sending a chill up Husk and Nifty’s spines. The second was even more harsh, overlapping the first struck zone badly, leaving two intersecting ovals of pink. Lucifer hummed, then struck again, again overlapping the previous spot. Alastor choked back a cry, Lucifer was not holding back, and Alastor had already still been fairly pink from his punishment a few days ago. Lucifer struck again and again, getting to the curve of Alastor’s ass, then starting back down at the beginning, rehashing all the old spots
Alastor felt tears spring up, whimpering loudly and desperately trying to scramble up. It was pure instinct. He knew, logically, that he wasn’t getting out of this. Usually, Lucifer would coo or speak to him, instead, Lucifer grabbed the back of Alastor’s neck, shoving his face down and his ass up. Alastor went red, feeling like a struck and scolded puppy, and folded his head into his arms, shivering uncontrollably
When Alastor’s left thigh was bright red, blotchy and angry looking, Lucifer switched to his right thigh. Alastor made a choked sound, one of his hands reaching back to guard the area. Lucifer tried to move it, and when it didn’t budge, he gave it two slaps with the brush. Alastor’s hand quickly retreated, a loud whine escaping him. Lucifer held back his coo, continuing to pepper Alastor’s thigh with slaps.
It’s not that Lucifer doesn’t care for his lambs, he does. But they’re a direct reflection of him and his actions and discipline. One bad apple can spoil the bunch, and he’ll be damned if Hell thinks his lambs are spoiled. Cussing Vaggie out, making inferior advertising, and…whatever Nifty did, it was inexcusable. Simply inexcusable. Lucifer wasn’t going to stand for it. He finishes Alastor’s thighs up fairly quickly, then moves onto Alastor’s right cheek. He’s got a plan of action.
He starts by getting the edges of Alastor’s cheek, swatting him from the top of his cheek to the sit-spot, left to right, until there’s a ring of red and there’s a free stream of quiet whimpers and kicking legs. The legs he doesn’t mind, it’s likely a prey response to pain, uncontrollable and possibly completely unnoticed by Alastor. Ugh, too cute. Such a fawn.
Once he’s got his ring of fire, he hits the middle. Over, and over, and over again, until those quiet whimpers are loud yelps and whines. His bottom is a bright, apple red now, the middle outshining the edges beautifully. Lucifer moves on to the left cheek, repeating his process. When it's the same red, he refocuses, hitting in the dead middle of Alastor’s ass, crossing both his cheeks in every strike
Alastor chokes on a sob, grabbing at Lucifer’s leg and hiding his face in it. Lucifer melts. That is adorable, ugh. He keeps going, striking without mercy and with great purpose. He’d have to check in with Vaggie tomorrow, see if he needed to add to the lesson
For now, however…
Mm…
He was satisfied. He does a quick refresh on Alastor’s thighs, then stops, setting the brush aside. “There. All finished.”
Hm. Odd. Alastor’s antlers are a bit large right now. On cue, Alastor gets up on wobbly legs and yanks his bottoms back up. When Lucifer reaches for him, Alastor snarls at him like a feral animal, “DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Lucifer puts his hands up in surrender, “Hey, now-“
Alastor wipes his red, tear stained face on his sleeve, marches off to Nifty’s corner, scoops her up, and slams the door of the study open, taking them both into his shadow and disappearing
“ALASTOR!” Lucifer shouts after him, then sighs, “Ugh. I’ll deal with him later. Shut the door, Husk.”
Husk shuts the door, shaking in every limb. He swallows, then faces Lucifer, “Your majesty.”
“Yes?” Lucifer asked, swapping out his brush for the paddle with a wave of his hand
“Whatever Nifty was supposed to get…give it to me. She really, truly didn’t do anything. And if you ain’t convinced…give it to me.” Husk said, feeling the quiver down to his bones at the sight of the paddle
“Really? You’re sure?” Lucifer asked, cocking his head to the side like a curious dog
“I’m…” Husk swallowed heavily, “I’m sure.”
“Hm…alright, fine. Easier than fighting Alastor for her…come here. You’ll be here for a while.”
Husk shuddered, but stepped forward, “Yes, your majesty.”
Notes:
Thank you all so much for the kudos and bookmarks and nice comments!! I'm so so happy that you guys are enjoying the story!! :D
Chapter 12: Gold Star
Summary:
The lambs recover from their punishments, and Lucifer reflects on the past
Notes:
So excited to get this chapter out for your guys!! :) Enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor stood in his room, gripping Nifty like a teddy bear while hot tears ran down his face. His body burned, his brain screaming for…something. It was impossible to name. His skin itched, his feet begged to run, his body wanted to curl up and hide while his brain longed for…again, something? He sighed, sniffling pitifully
“Alastor, you saved me!” Nifty cried, throwing her arms around Alastor’s neck and nuzzling into his shoulder, “I was so scared!”
“O-Of course, of course, Dear.” Alastor muttered, his voice sounded wet, drowning in static, “I wouldn’t- Wouldn’t let that man- fuck, sorry…” Alastor took a breath, wiping his eyes. He hated crying…this was humiliating…he could usually hide his tears in Lucifer, but he’d rather light himself on fire than go and touch that man right now
“No sorries! You're the mighty radio demon! He doesn’t say sorry!” Nifty said, sitting back in Alastor’s arms and balling her fists up
Alastor chuckled, wiping his eyes again, “Thank you, Dear…”
“And…uh…the radio demon cries all he wants!”
This makes Alastor laugh. Weakly, but still a laugh. He sniffles, then rubs Nifty’s back, “Are you injured?”
“Nuh-uh! I'm a happy little analog signal!”
Alastor brightened considerably hearing that. An analog signal was a term used in radio broadcasting. It meant it was continuous, with no breaks or interruptions. Alastor had taught her that term years ago, how did she remember it? Well, in either case, it was good to hear that she was happy. A relief, really. Nifty was a younger demon, and despite her violent tendencies and twisted little mind, a true sweetheart. Lucifer would have to go through him to bother her.
“…do you think Husky is okay?” Nifty asked, looking up at Alastor, single eye shining in worry
“He’ll be fine. Why don’t we hunt up a treat for you? I’d bet money that Lucifer has the good ice cream stocked.”
Nifty gasped, eagerly bouncing in Alastor’s arms, “Before dinner?!”
“If we’re sneaky about it.” Alastor said, putting a finger to his lips, “And very quiet.”
“YAYYY-! oh-! Yayyyy!” Nifty cheered
“Very good. Come along.”
-
“There. All finished.” Lucifer said, gently pulling Husk’s bottoms back up. He patted Husk’s back, seeming surprised when Husk didn’t scramble up or run, “You okay, Kitty?”
Husk let out a low, pained groan, slithering out of Lucifer’s lap and lying down flat on the floor. Lucifer hummed, then got up, joining him on the floor, gently scooping Husk up and laying him halfway in his lap so Husk’s head was resting on Lucifer’s thigh, his stomach resting on the other one. Lucifer kneaded Husk’s neck, being careful not to let his claws hurt him. He considered rubbing Husk’s ears, but decided not to risk it just yet. Husk had always been stubborn about affection, and it was pretty shocking that he wasn’t already up and out the door. Had he and Alastor had some agreement to switch personalities today?
Husk started off stiff as a board, but ever so slowly began to relax. He sniffled, tracing the wood grain in the floor with his claw. Lucifer snuck his hand up onto Husk’s head, scratching behind his ear. Husk huffed, grabbing Lucifer’s hand and yanking it up so Lucifer was scratching in between his ears. Once Lucifer was corrected, Husk allowed soft purrs to escape his throat, a low, scratchy sound that was deeply comforting. Lucifer found immediate delight in it, experimenting right away with different pressures and spots, hearing the purrs rise and fall accordingly. He ventured down, scratching under Husk’s chin, which earned him louder purrs
Just like Alastor, when Husk had come to Lucifer, he’d stocked the library with books on cats. Actually, those books played a major part in pairing Alastor and Husk up. Officially, he recorded that he found that deer and cats could get along, but the real story…
Well, Lucifer had tossed their books into the same pile after taking extensive notes on both of them. Later, when he cleaned that pile up, the books were right next to each other. Alastor had failed to thrive in 3 groups, Husk had failed to thrive in 2. Thriving looked different for every lamb, but Lucifer heard so much cussing (In French, which added a layer of unexpected aggression to it) from Alastor that he removed him from all his groups. With Husk, he just refused to speak to his groups unless it was an essential element of a task
So, he’d placed Alastor and Husk in a group together. As soon as he mentioned that Alastor was from Louisiana, Husk brightened up, “Good booze from that area.”
Alastor had seemed surprised by the compliment, but took it in stride, the prideful little lamb that he was, “Oh, certainly! Some of the finest Absinthe and Rye in the world stocks our bars!”
“Absinthe?! Shittttt, you drink if you like Absinthe!”
Alastor chuckled, putting his claw down to his lip, tapping it, “I don’t remember if I like it or not. Frankly, I have not danced through a night with her, I always stumble into a ditch.”
Husk barked out a laugh, nodding and grinning sharply, “Yeah, I know that’s right. Say, actually, I got some good rye down at the bar. Ya want a finger or two?”
“I’d be delighted.”
With that, the group was formed. Lucifer tried to pad it out, make it larger, but Husk and Alastor were almost violently antisocial. They’d howl with laughter at the lightweights, judge anyone that could drink them under the table, and they never failed to go to Lucifer and point accusing fingers at new members to get them kicked out of the group
He swore that Nifty would be the same. But...
“Husk, Alastor, this is Nifty. She’s going to be grouping up with you two. Say hi, Hon.” Lucifer said, bending down and extending an inviting arm out to the bar (Husk ran the mansion bar, and Alastor took his broadcast scripts to the bar whenever he could)
“Hi, I’m Nifty!” Nifty said, hopping up on a barstool and standing right on top of it, “Oooo, alcohol!”
“Husk. Ya want a drink, lil lady?” Husk greeted, already reaching for a bottle of vodka
“Do you have apple juice?!”
“Apple juice…? Your majesty, how old is she?” Husk asked
“I’m 20!” Nifty chirped
Alastor and Husk exchanged pitying looks, and it was done. They accepted Nifty in, first out of pity, then out of a fierce protectiveness. Alastor nearly killed a lamb for shoving Nifty, and Lucifer had to limit his ability to grow to avoid future incidents.
Nifty brought out the animal in them, that protected their pack, but also the paternal in them, that protected a young girl. They didn’t worry too much now, afterall, Nifty was…stabby. Still, she had a reputation. One of the youngest lambs, and fiercely protected. It made Lucifer proud. If only he could find someone else they got along with…then everything would be peaches and cream
Husk sighed, shifting, then sitting up, “I gotta go find the others.”
“So soon?” Lucifer asked, surprised at himself for even asking
Husk looked at him evenly, “…what, you sore that you didn’t get to cuddle with Al?”
“Ah…yes. I suppose I’m a bit…put off, by his reaction.”
“He reacted like that cuz he didn’t do nothin.’” Husk spat, standing up and crossing his arms, “He’s gonna hold that grudge, y’know. He’s real prideful.”
“Husk, we’ve already established…” Lucifer trailed off
There, on the floor next to Lucifer’s chair, something glittered. He scooted over, scooping it up. To his surprise, it was a gold star sticker. Why was this here? He hasn’t had Charlie in his office in a long time. And it was soaked…, “...what is this?”
“Huh? Oh, that's Al’s. Charlie gave him that for finishing the first floor.”
“Finishing what on the first floor?” Lucifer asked, tilting his head curiously
“…everything, Boss? Renovating, modifying, the laundry, patching the holes, fixing the pipes…that stuff.” Husk said, tilting his head back at Lucifer, mirroring his confusion
“You…you’ve only been at the hotel for 5 days, though…”
Husk shrugged, “He works hard.”
“Yes…” Lucifer whispered, cradling the little star in his palms, “I…see that.”
“Uh…good? I'm off, then. Seeya, Boss.”
Lucifer nods, deep in thought, so Husk leaves him. He should find the others…
Notes:
Thank you for all the views (How are we at 800+ omg??) and bookmarks and incredibly nice and thoughtful comments!! I LOVE hearing your guesses and theories and thoughts on everything and I'm super excited to hear what y'all think of this one! :D
Chapter 13: Our Hero, Husk!
Summary:
Husk rejoins the others and reflects on the past, Lucifer and the lambs prepare to go back to the hotel
Notes:
Y'know I wondered, as an autistic person, how long it would take me to accidentally give one of the characters autistic traits. It's here! It's Alastor! Unsurprisingly! Real talk though, I am an educated, researched and proud autistic person, so I feel more than comfortable adding this layer to the story. Will it show up again? I'm not sure, but it's possible! Don't worry, I'm not going to infantilize him, just write in some of my experiences :) Okay rant over! Please enjoy this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Husk finds Nifty and Alastor in the kitchen, with Nifty attacking a large bowl of ice cream and Alastor grinding up coffee beans. Nifty notices him first and practically tosses her bowl to the side, running and tackle hugging Husk
“Husky!” She cries, burying her ice cream dotted cheeks into his suit, hugging him so tightly that Husk swears he feels something in his back pop, “Are you okay?! Did Mr. Lucifer hurt you?!” Then, her eye went wide as a dinner plate, “Am I next?!”
“Nah, Niff, you ain’t next.” Husk soothed, running his claws through her hair, “Lucifer knows you didn’t do anything.”
“Whew! I thought I was gonna have to run away forever! And take you both with me! And pretend that I owned your souls! How was I gonna be that responsible?! I could never hit you guys!” Nifty rambled, nuzzling Husk’s stomach with her cheek like a kitten
“Niff…nobody would believe you if you said Al and I belonged to you…but uh…appreciate the thought?” Husk said with a shrug, then went to the counter beside Alastor when Nifty let him go, “Al, you uh…doing okay?”
“I could ask you the same.” Alastor replied, pouring and passing Husk a mug of hot coffee in one of Lucifer’s cups. ‘Oh duck!’ It read on the side. Husk knows Alastor would’ve chosen a more dignified mug for him if it existed, but about 99.9 percent of Lucifer’s mugs had puns, ducks, or both on them. It was rare to see the softer, animal loving side of Lucifer, but it screamed to be noticed in his mug collection. And, in his library, which only seemed to grow larger by the day, stuffed wall to wall with animal encyclopedias. He disregarded no level of information, reading from doctors, professors, scientists, enthusiasts, teachers, journalists and, well, even children. If a child was featured in a book, Lucifer didn’t scoff, instead taking in their ideas with a furrowed brow and a notebook full of bullet points.
Heh, actually, it was a kid that claimed that deer had scruffs on the backs of their necks. Husk remembers that day
-
It was over 7 years ago, maybe even 8 or 9…but Lucifer had been reading in his study while Alastor organized a new order of books and Husk wrote them into the extensive catalog that Lucifer kept of all the books in the library. It was comfortable, with Alastor’s audience playing something jazzy and bouncy, Lucifer and Alastor both humming along. The fireplace was housing a comfortable fire, which crackled and popped every now and again. Lucifer was reading a book titled, ‘Our wildlife findings!’ written by ‘Ms. Betty’s third grade class’, Husk didn’t see the point in it, but Lucifer seemed entranced by whatever the class had found, so he kept his mouth shut
“‘Bobcats and their habitats.’” Alastor read out, shelving it
Husk wrote it down, his quill scratching the paper in a way that sent pleased shivers down his spine
“‘Catfish and the great ecosystem of the south.’”
Husk recorded it
“‘Our beautiful states and the animals that accent them-‘“
“Alastor.” Lucifer’s voice cut through the hum of activity
Alastor silenced his audience immediately, looking to Lucifer with a curious flicker in his ear, “Lucifer?”
“Come here and read this, please. The music back on, too, if you will.”
Alastor nodded, putting his song back on and climbing down his ladder. When he was back on the ground, he handed Husk his book and headed over to Lucifer, bending down and adjusting his monocle to read the passage Lucifer was pointing to, “‘Some deer have spots all over their bodies, especially fawns! And some deer have scruffs, just like kitties do!’ What? We certainly do not.”
“…can I test it?” Lucifer asks, shutting his book with a decisive ‘bomp!’ and looking up at Alastor mischievously
“If you’re gentle, because otherwise you’ll hurt me.” Alastor turned away, giving Husk a roll of his eyes, “Are you hearing this, Husker? Scruffs on a deer-“ A tiny, startled bleat escaped Alastor’s mouth and his song violently pitched up, his body involuntarily shifting backwards until he fell completely into Lucifer’s solid chest, “Oof-“
“Ha! It works! You do have a scruff!” Lucifer giggled, letting go of Alastor’s scruff and adjusting Alastor in his lap so he was a comfortable weight on Lucifer’s thigh. Lucifer cracked his book back open, humming in the pleasure of an answered question
Alastor blinked, head spinning, before he abruptly realized where he was, his face flushing, “Your majesty?”
Lucifer gave him a smug little grin, “Go on and get up, if you like. But I’d be perfectly content to keep you here.”
Alastor scrambled up, practically running back over to the ladder. ‘The fuck was that?!’ Husk mouthed to him, elbowing him in the ribs sharply
‘Be quiet and hand me a book!’ Alastor mouthed back, practically ripping one out of Husk’s hand when it was offered
-
Husk chuckles at the memory, sipping his coffee, then considering Alastor’s question. Was he okay?, “…meh, my legs are half-asleep and my ass stings. You?”
“About the same.” Alastor said, dumping a spoonful of sugar into his coffee and stirring it in, his spoon clinking against the mug softly
“…y’know, he’s real sore that he didn’t get to comfort ya.”
“What do I care about that?” Alastor sneered, his ears pinning back as he sipped his coffee. Internally, though, it hit him that the unsteady feeling winding around his bones was…well, he didn’t know the name of it, but it came from expectations being dashed, or routine being interrupted. It made his skin itch. But screw that, he wasn’t touching that man! He could deal with this, it would pass
“I'm just sayin’, that's all. Keepin ya updated.” Husk said
“Right…thank you. And thank you for defending us. I know Lucifer frightens you…, Husk.”
Husk’s ears went up, showing his genuine surprise, “This is what makes you use my nickname?”
Alastor’s face flushed, looking away, “Maybe. Unless Husker is your preference…?”
“Nah, nah, Husk is more than fine!” Honestly, it was a shock to hear Alastor call him that. Alastor was extremely formal when it came to names, only using nicknames if A. Someone insisted on it, or B. Alastor was very comfortable with that person. He used to call Lucifer by his name too, but had gone back to using ‘your majesty’ when Lucifer called them to the hotel. Husk wonders if that bothers Lucifer.
“Well. Good.” Alastor says, his ears twitching back and forth happily
They stand next to each other in comfortable silence, sipping their coffees while Nifty finishes her ice cream. Dinner comes and goes, with Lucifer too crowded with other lambs to even look their way. Not that that bothers Alastor, not at all. After dinner, Lucifer tries to find them, but they all hide together in Nifty’s room, eventually falling asleep there, with Husk and Alastor sleeping on their stomachs. Unbeknownst to them, Nifty stays up into the night with a large needle in her hands, sitting at the doorway. If Lucifer tries to disturb their sleep…well…Nifty has a reputation
-
In the morning, Lucifer is busy sending lambs home with stern instructions to be back in 6 months, so he doesn’t see Alastor’s group. They have a peaceful breakfast, watching lambs rush to and fro to go back to their postings. When the mansion is quiet, they abruptly realize that they’re the last group to go. Lucifer finds them all in Husk’s room, Nifty reading a romance book while Husk and Alastor play a loose version of poker
“Lambs, I’ll be coming back to the hotel with you. There’s something I’d like to inquire about.” Lucifer said, straightening his cufflinks
“Sure, Boss.” Husk said, while Alastor simply hummed in acknowledgment. Husk put his cards away, got up, and went to Lucifer with the others. He noticed that they all stood rather stiffly as Lucifer’s magic enveloped them. Husk wonders…
What business could Lucifer possibly have at the hotel?
Notes:
WE'RE ALMOST AT A THOUSAND VIEWS?? THAT'S ABSOLUTELY INSANE?? Y'all are the best!! Thank you so so SO much for all the kudos and bookmarks and incredibly nice and thoughtful comments!! I never imagined such a positive reaction to my story and I'm always so excited to read what you guys think!! Also you guys have SUCH interesting predictions and ideas, I love them!! Ah!! I'm so excited to see what you guys think of this one!! :'3
Chapter 14: What Happened?
Summary:
Lucifer finds out the truth behind the commercials
Notes:
IMPORTANT NOTE! This chapter contains implied spoilers for Episode 6, so if you haven't seen what's up with Vaggie, watch to episode 6 and come back! Okay okay, we're finally here!! Lucifer finds out!! Super excited for this one, enjoy!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When they appear in the hotel, the first thing they notice is that the same wall Alastor fixed before has been broken through. Again. Oh, and everyone is running around, barely dodging shots from the war machine parked outside
“Aye, Red! He says he’s here for you!” Angel yells over the chaos, ducking to avoid a blast
“‘Red?’” Lucifer asks, then shakes it off, “Alastor, go take care of that while I find Charlie.”
“With pleasure, your majesty.” Alastor says, then heads outside. A crisp ‘CRUNCH’ can be heard immediately, So Lucifer relaxes and goes into the hotel. He finds Charlie and Vaggie huddled behind the bar, Charlie frantically scribbling lesson plans while Vaggie sharpens her spear
“Hello, you two.” Lucifer says, casually leaning across the bar
“Dad! You're back!” Charlie cheers, bouncing up and hugging Lucifer
“Mr. Morningstar.” Vaggie greets, standing up and putting her spear away
“Why don’t you two come with me? There’s something I wanted to ask you about.” Lucifer says, calmly turning on his heel and going over to the stairwell
Charlie and Vaggie share a look, shrug, and follow Lucifer upstairs. When they reach the first floor, they find Lucifer standing there, taking everything in
“Alastor did this?” He asks
“Oh! Yeah, this was all Alastor’s doing! Pretty neat, right?” Charlie says
“And how long did it take him?”
“Uhhh…four days, I think!”
Lucifer nodded, looking over every detail. It was all immaculate, not a crack, leak, or even hair in sight. Four days. He’d done this in four days. Lucifer feels bad, yet justified in locking some of Alastor’s power away. With his full power, Lucifer would absolutely believe that Alastor could do this in four days. At his current power level, though? No, more like a week. There were no cracks in his work. Therefore…
There were cracks in his lamb.
Lucifer takes a deep breath, then turns to face Charlie and Vaggie, “Tell me more about what happened yesterday.”
Charlie tilts her head like a curious puppy, “What happened yesterday? Well, besides the whole…angels coming to kill our people in 6 months…thing…”
Before Charlie can spiral, Vaggie takes her shoulder, “Babe. We’ve already freaked out about it.” She looks to Lucifer, “Mr. Morningstar…maybe you and I could talk privately about what happened yesterday? Charlie is stressed enough as it is…”
“I don’t exclude my daughter from anything. She's a princess, raised to handle situations like this.” Lucifer says evenly, fixing Vaggie with a cold look
“My Dad is right, Vaggie…what happened yesterday?” Charlie asks, taking Vaggie’s hand in hers
“Well…Alastor tried to make that commercial, first of all. Total disaster.”
“Which I find very surprising.” Lucifer says, “Alastor is obsessed with all things radio. He’s never had a poor broadcast.”
“Oh, it wasn’t a radio commercial! He made a video!” Charlie pipes up
“…Alastor touched a video camera? Willingly?” Lucifer asks, his brows drawing together in disbelief
“Well…I asked him to.” Vaggie says
“And he said yes?”
“He was…happy to do it.”
“…show me the commercial.” Lucifer says. Vaggie nods quickly, running over to the elevator. Lucifer holds his tongue on that. The girl doesn’t even try to hide her real status…if Charlie didn’t love her, Lucifer would throw her out for her past alone…when Vaggie comes back, Lucifer takes the camera, scrolling back to the beginning of its library and choosing the first video
-
To his surprise, it opens on a white mass of chest fluff.
“Oop, ya just hit the video button.” A male voice says
Alastor groans behind the camera, clearly frustrated, “How do I turn it off?”
“Don’t worry, we can just delete it when we’re done, Red.” The man says soothingly, “Here, give it here.” The camera clicks and the video shakes, going higher and landing on a nearby purple wall, “Alright, see this? This is the zoom,” the video zooms in on the wall, “This is how you zoom out.” The video zooms out, “Got it?”
“No-! Augh, this is not my form of media!” Alastor snaps, and Lucifer can see from the shadow on the wall that when Alastor steps away, his antlers are bigger than usual
“Then why ya doin’ it, Red, huh?”
“Because if I don’t, she’ll call Lucifer! And if he found out that I refused to do something for his daughter, he’d tan my hide!” Alastor says, pacing around
“And she won’t let ya do something on ya radio show?”
“No! She insists on a video! I hate modernity-! Ugh, just-!” The camera moves to a lower level, now back in Alastor’s hands, “Show me how to turn this off, please!”
“Okay, okay. We’ll take a break and try again.” The man says, and the video cuts off
The next video is Alastor’s actual commercial.
-
The commercial opened with two demons taking turns stabbing each-other. When Alastor’s hand came into frame, the video buzzed and went staticky, “Why hello there, you irredeemable sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature?” More demons appeared, looking at the camera in either confusion or disinterest, “Of course you do! That’s why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?!”
The scene cut and reopened outside of the hotel, the camera quickly panning up, “Welcome to The Happy- oh, the sign is still up- The Hazbin Hotel! A…passionate attempt at redemption!”
The scene cut again, reopening on Charlie, who turned and waved hesitantly when the camera was on her. Hm. Lucifer needed to work on her media presence. “Founded 5 days ago by Lucifer’s charming daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!” That one spider demon came behind her, giving her bunny ears behind her head with a huge smile. Aw. Cute.
The scene cut again, showing footage from Charlie’s interview with an unimpressed looking Katie Killjoy, “Come place your fate in her eager hands as she tries to convince us all that redemption is possible!”
The scene cut, reopening with the camera walking into the hotel, Razzle and Dazzle mopping and dusting the entryway, “Here we offer fun things! Such as copious amounts of alcohol!” He panned over to Husk, whose face split into a smile that looked like he’d been given horrible news. Good lord, Lucifer needed to give him some media training too… Nifty ran after a cockroach, trying to stab it, “And 24 hour pest control!” The camera cut to show one of the rooms Alastor had fixed up, “Custom rooms,” Oh wow, that looked good! It then cut to the spider and KeeKee sitting in the parlor, “And just look at this…decorated parlor!”
“Enjoy riveting conversation with our one and only resident!” The camera zoomed in on that spider demon, who smiled and waved to the camera, mouthing, ‘Hi, Red!’ Why did he call Alastor red? Very curious. They must be friends.
“All this and more,” the shot opened on a drawing of the hotel Alastor had made and taped to bloody cardboard, oh how cute, “At The Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!” Their number flashed on-screen and the commercial cut out, now over
-
“That…” Lucifer began, choosing his words carefully
“Was a total train wreck-?” An increasingly anxious Vaggie asked
“Was absolutely adorable. I’ll be keeping this.” Lucifer said, then found one last video in the library, clicking on it
-
Vaggie’s commercial opens with the spider demon and Husk, who are both sitting up on the bar.
“Annnndddd, action!” Vaggie yelled
Husk sighed and began, “Welcome to The Hazbin Hotel…can I help you with anything…?”
“I’ve been a bad boy…and I need a big, strong Daddy to put me in my place…” That spider demon purred, advancing towards Husk and reaching for his face. Then, he sat at the bar, giving Husk more space, “On the path to redemption!” Ah, this spider was in the first video with Alastor! Now he had a face to the voice. Very good.
Husk growled lowly, rolling his eyes. “Well…you’ve come-“
“Ohhhh, yes!” The spider moaned, grinning at something offscreen
“To the right place…” Husk finished
“Cut!” Vaggie growled, and the video buzzed for a second before it continued, strange green static taking it over, “Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible! And Husk, can you try to sound happy?!” Ah, Angel. That’s the spider's name. Noted.
“I ain’t no mascot!” Husk snarled, grabbing a bottle and popping the cork out, “You want Barney up in here, call Barney!”
“I’ll call Lucifer-!”
“I don’t care if ya call the pope! I’m not singing and dancing just because some unowned bitch wants me to! I ain’t doin’ this!” Husk walked off, taking his bottle with him
“Husk, come on-! Augh!” Vaggie stormed off, taking her camera with her. She tossed it onto the couch, pacing for a few minutes before she pulled her phone out, scrolling through her contacts and then holding her phone to her ear, “Uh…hey, Mr. Morningstar! This is Vaggie. Uh…Charlie’s girlfriend? Sorry- you know who I am- let me start over. I’m trying to make a commercial. For the hotel. For Charlie. And your, uh…lovely lambs won’t help me. Husk practically cussed me out over it, actually. Could you come and help? I really want Charlie’s hotel to do well…thanks, see you soon.”
Vaggie sighed, then picked the camera up again, making a surprised noise, “This thing is still going…? Whatever…maybe I can use some of the footage later…” and the camera turned off
-
Oh…that was it? Wait, that was IT? Oh, dear…Lucifer had a few decisions to make...
Notes:
WE'RE AT 1K VIEWS?? ABSOLUTELY INSANE!! Thank you all SOOOO SO MUCH for all the kudos and bookmarks and such incredibly nice comments! Wah! :'3 I now have a discord! If you wanna shoot me a message about the story, or writing in general, it's honeymoonauthor :) If you do message me, I might take a bit to respond, because I'm always tinkering on something haha! Super excited to see what you guys think of this one, I'm super excited for tomorrow's chapter!!
Chapter 15: Talk to Me
Summary:
Lucifer counsels Charlie
Notes:
Early chapter today because I have to be up early tomorrow! >:3 Enjoy! >:3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucifer teleported the camera back to his study. Yeah, he was gonna make about 100 copies of those commercials. His lambs were just too cute. He turned on his heel, “I think I’ll take a walk around the property. Why don’t you join me, Charlie?”
Charlie only nodded, her eyes blood red, her horns exposed and her hair loose and whipping around behind her. She was clearly about to lose it, and Vaggie was quietly shivering a few steps away from her. Lucifer gave her a look and Charlie took a breath, pulling her features back together.
They left, heading outside to find Angel overseeing some members of Alastor’s audience rebuilding the wall, smoking a cigarette. When he noticed the royals, he said, “Little Red got a chunk a his suit torn out by that snake dumbass. He’s at the tailor.”
“Thank you for letting me know. Have we met, formally?” Lucifer asked sweetly
“Oh! Uh…no!” Angel said, extending one of his hands for a handshake, “Names Angel Dust. I work for Valentino.”
“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Lucifer Morningstar, King of Hell and Shepherd of the Flock.” Lucifer said, accepting the handshake, “You and Alastor seem to be good friends.”
“Oh, yeah. He’s great. Fixed up my room for me. And ta entire first floor. Did ya see his commercial? It was a damn good commercial.”
“I just saw it.” Lucifer said, letting Angel go, pleased at the protective nature of Alastor’s new friend, “It was very sweet of him to go out of his comfort zone. Let me reassure you, he won’t be made to do that again.”
Angel looked surprised, but nodded, “Good. He was pretty upset about it.”
“I’ll make it up to him. Say, let me give you my card.” Lucifer said, summoning his business card, “Should your soul ever go up for sale, I’d love for you to join the flock.”
“What? Seriously?” Angel asked, snatching the card up and reading it over. Holy shit, it was legit
“Oh yes! It’s so very rare that I find someone that Alastor gets along with! If you join the flock, you can be grouped up with him, Husk and Nifty! I need to fill in their group! It’s tiny!” Lucifer said with a sigh, “Such sweet lambs, but so hard to find their people!”
“You’d…seriously take me in? I’m…I do porn.”
“Oh, I don’t care about that. This is Hell.” Lucifer said, waving his hand dismissively, “Obviously you wouldn’t do porn as a member of the flock, but I don’t mind if that’s your current situation.”
“Right…um…thank ya. I’ll let ya know.” Angel said, still in pure disbelief, a slight shake in his fingers
“Very good! I’ll see you later, then!” Lucifer said, leading Charlie off. He allowed them to stay in silence, then spoke when they were completely alone at the back of the hotel, “Talk to me, Duckling.”
“I…” Charlie whispered, her eyes turning red and her horns coming back, her hair snaking out of it's ties and lashing around. Charlie grabbed a bottle off the ground and threw it against the hotel, “Have never been so MAD in my ENTIRE-! AUGH! What the FUCK?! WHY WOULD SHE?! FUCK!”
“That’s good, Hon, let the anger out.” Lucifer coached, summoning his cane and leaning on it
“I SWEAR-! DAD, I SWEAR-!… I…I swear I didn’t know…” Charlie whispered, suddenly looking worried
“I know, Hon. I’m not upset with you. Your girlfriend, though…” Lucifer tsked, “Quite.”
“Ugh…what do I do…?” Charlie asked, letting her body fall. Lucifer caught her in an elegant chair that he summoned in an instant. She didn’t even think about it. Her dad has always caught her. Always. That was something Lucifer had declared at her birth, ‘No child of mine will fall. The dirt will never know her.’
Lucifer goes to her, circling her chair as he speaks, “Would you like my counsel, Duck?”
“Yes.” Charlie said, hating how rough and poisonous her tone was
“Well, it’s to be understood that I was too lenient with my initial instructions. Originally, I said that you should think of the lambs as your friends. That still holds true, but let me add a clause to that. If they misbehave, I want to receive a call or text reporting it within the hour. It must come from you. If it’s from someone else, especially Vaggie, I’ll assume it’s a lie. Or, a gross over exaggeration, and my lambs will get to tell me their side of the story first. If she leaves out details again, I will never believe her from then on. I’m quite clear, yes?”
“Crystal.”
“And that seems fair to you?” Lucifer asked, looking back at Charlie
“Yes. I…” Charlie sighs, “I won’t…like…doing it. But I will.”
“Very good. To add to that, Vaggie is never to order my lambs around ever again. She may repeat orders from you, but never make her own. And I sincerely don’t appreciate being used as a threat against my lambs. I care for them. Dearly and deeply. Not only did she use my name to threaten my lambs, she used yours. ‘This is for Charlie, do it for Charlie.’ That cannot be allowed. You are the Princess of Hell. Your name carries all the weight of this existence. Not to insult your great love, but she’s not royalty. She should not use your influence for her gain. Am I making sense here?” Lucifer asked, bending down to see Charlie’s face
Charlie tapped her long claws against her chair, deep in thought. “She did it to impress me.”
“Do we impress someone using the name of another?”
“No. We have only our own name.” Charlie said, leaning her head against her hand thoughtfully
“Exactly right. That's my girl.” Lucifer praised, then got more serious, “I understand her intentions, but she needs to use her own name and resources for gain. Not ours. She’s insulted us. Not only that, but believing her on her word, I punished my lambs.” Lucifer turns away, not letting Charlie see the irritated twitch in his brow, “If I had all the information, I’d have only scolded one of them. But, because things were twisted, I hurt my relationship with them. That cannot, and will not, stand. So, with your permission, I’d like to stay here for a few days.”
“To do what?” Charlie asked, looking off to the side
“Spoil them.”
At this, Charlie’s demonic features finally faded, the sparkle coming back into her eyes, “Really?”
“Oh, yes. I was quite unfair to them, and I feel horrible. I refuse to have unhappy lambs in my flock, poor things.”
“Awwww! You big softie!” Charlie said, standing up and hugging Lucifer tightly
Lucifer chuckled, patting her on the head, “You influence me, what can I say.” Then, more seriously, “Are my conditions clear?”
“Absolutely. And don’t worry, I’ll make it clear to Vaggie too!”
“Perfect. If you need me, just send me a text. I’ll be with Nifty.” Lucifer said
“Great! I’ll be with Vaggie!”
“Excellent. You make me proud.” Lucifer said, taking Charlie back into the hotel. As they walked in, Angel walked out, “Angel Dust, have you seen Nifty around?”
“Hm?” Angel said, looking up from his phone, “Oh! Yeah, she's dusting in ta lobby. I’ll see ya guys later, okay? I got work…”
“Very good.” Lucifer said, heading off to the lobby. He watched Charlie take Vaggie upstairs, then went deeper into the hotel. He found Nifty quickly, bending down to her level, “Hi, Sweetheart.”
Nifty looked up at him curiously, pausing her diligent dusting, “Hi, Mr. Lucifer.”
“I wanted to come tell you that I’m sorry for how I scared you yesterday. I have all the information now, and my behavior was appalling, little lamb. Can you ever forgive me?” It was genuine. Lucifer was an incredibly prideful man, but the flock was a major part of his pride. If they were hurting, he too hurt
“…you're gonna say sorry to Husky and Al, too?” Nifty asked softly
“Oh, yes, dear. May I be struck down on my knees if I don’t.” Lucifer said, smiling when she giggled, “Would you do me the honor of letting me make it up to you?”
“Making it up to me? How?”
“My dear, whatever you please. I’m yours until you’re satisfied with my apology.”
Nifty lit up, tossing her feather duster to the side and bouncing up into Lucifer’s arms, “Really?! Whatever I want?!”
Lucifer scooped her up, standing up with her securely in his arms, “Whatever you want. If it pleases you, I’ll gladly do it.”
Nifty squealed, and Lucifer could sense that she was overflowing with ideas. Lucifer wouldn’t leave her until she was out of them. It was the proper way to make things up to his poor little lamb, afterall
And avoid a mauling from her protectors, ultimately. All good things
Notes:
Thank you all for the kudos and comments as always!! Also, we WILL see what happens with Vaggie! It's coming! Super excited to see what y'all think of this one! :3
Chapter 16: A Forgiving Soul
Summary:
Lucifer spends the day with Nifty!
Notes:
I only intended for Lucifer and Nifty's day to take a chapter, but it's become two! Here's the first, second coming tomorrow! Enjoy! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Nifty starts by taking Lucifer to the back of the hotel plot, to a dead plot of old grass, “I want a pretty garden! For flower crowns!”
“That sounds lovely, Niff. Can you draw up a blueprint for me?” Lucifer asks, summoning his sculpting equipment
“Yeah!” Nifty says, summoning paper and pencils. She gets to work quickly, sketching out a detailed little fairy garden, with several different breeds of flowers, a fountain, automatic sprinklers (Clever girl), a stone pathway, benches, a small clearing for Nifty to make flower crowns, and a special request that the flowers would regenerate themselves. Lucifer expects a blueprint on the same level as a child’s drawing, but is surprised to find that Nifty is a talented artist, her marks sharp, precise and lethal. It gives Lucifer a perfect idea of what she wants, and Lucifer gets to work fulfilling her request
Nifty gets more and more bouncy as he sculpts, so Lucifer gets some of the flowers in so she can start her crowns. She starts with a crown made out of white lilies, baby’s breath and rye, carefully weaving it together. It’s quite pretty, and crafted with the delicate hands of a creative. When that one’s done, she puts it to the side. The next one she begins is made of red roses, orange blossom and baby’s breath, fragrant and passionate. Somehow she finishes it even faster, putting it to the side. She makes 7 in total
“Mr. Lucifer.” She says, holding up a crown of Datura and Belladonna, “Bend down, please.”
Lucifer can’t remember the last time he bowed his head to someone, but he does it, accepting the crown with grace. He’s honestly honored to receive one. Nifty is a forgiving soul. Once he’s crowned, Nifty hands him a crown of parsley, baby’s breath and daisies. He understands what she wants immediately, smoothing her hair back for her and crowning her. The smile she gives him warms him.
Lucifer remembers crowning Charlie as the princess of Hell…she was only about 100 then, and, well…Lilith was there. Lucifer shakes off the thought, scooping Nifty and her crowns up, “Ready to deliver these to the others?”
“Yeah! Let’s start with Husky! He’s easiest to find!” Nifty cheers
Great…! Husk will definitely be warm towards him…Lucifer walks them inside, finding Husk wiping down the bar. When he sees Nifty’s arms full of flower crowns, he softens like butter
“Whatcha got, little lady?” He asks
“Flower crowns!” Nifty says, having Lucifer hold the 4 remaining crowns while she took Husk’s, having him bend down to be crowned in the lily, baby’s breath and rye crown, “I dub thee, Prince Husky of Barlandia!”
Husk chuckles, “Yeah? Do I get a castle?”
“A huge one! And alcohol!”
“Ya know my heart, Niff.” Husk says, “I'm not sure if anyone else is here right now, though. You should put those crowns someplace safe.”
“Aw! What am I gonna do while I wait?!” Nifty whines
“Well, don’t tell Lucifer I told ya…” Husk says, a playful smile tugging at his lips, “But I heard from a little deer that he makes really amazing pancakes.”
Nifty looks back at Lucifer, eye sparkling, “You do?!”
Lucifer gives her a smile, quietly filing away that Alastor thinks they’re amazing, “I do. You wanna make some?”
“Yeah! Let’s go, let’s go!” Nifty cheers, bouncing up and down in Lucifer’s arms. With a wave of her hand, the crowns disappear, likely into her bedroom, if Lucifer had to guess.
They go into the kitchen, Lucifer noticing a red and black apron hanging on a wall-hook. On the front, it says, ‘Cannibalize the chef’, ah, definitely Alastor’s. Lucifer summons his own white and gold apron, with ‘Demonize the chef’ on the front, then a hot pink apron for Nifty with ‘Flee from the chef’ on the front. He ties his own, then Nifty’s. Once their hands are washed, Lucifer grabs all the materials he needs and sets them out. He washes off some strawberries, grabs a cutting board, a knife, and gives it to Nifty, who’s eye dilates instantly seeing it
“I need these strawberries cut-“ Lucifer begins
“OKAY!” Nifty shouts, jerking away with the knife gripped so hard Lucifer can see her veins
“Hang on,” Lucifer says, grabbing her back by her shirt, gently tugging her back over, “I need them cut into bite sized pieces. And please be careful, that knife is sharp.”
“OKAY!” Nifty shouts again, attacking the strawberries the second Lucifer lets her go. Lucifer watches the carnage for a few seconds, shocked into silence, before he shakes it off and starts on the batter
When Nifty finishes the strawberries, Lucifer gives her a few bars of chocolate to chop up. He separates his batter into four bowls, leaving one plain, one with strawberries mixed in, one with chocolate mixed in, and one with strawberries and chocolate mixed in. He summons a griddle, plugging it in on top of the stove and turning it on
“Alright, Niff, don’t touch the griddle, okay? It gets hot quick.” Lucifer said, grabbing a stick of butter out of the fridge and peeling the wrapper off
“What’s my job, what’s my job?!” Nifty asks, bouncing eagerly near the stove
“Your job is to catch pancakes once I get them off the griddle.” Lucifer says, then gives her a playful smile, “If you can handle it, Soldier.”
Nifty salutes immediately, “Lieutenant Nifty, reporting for duty!”
“Lieutenant? My, very impressive!” Lucifer says, giving her a plate to hold while he butters the griddle. When the butter crackles, Lucifer knows the griddle is ready. He grabs his plain batter, pouring on some pancakes while Nifty bounces in the corner of his eye. He flips his pancakes when they’re ready, then piles them onto Nifty’s plate. When the plain pancakes are done and plated, he pours on the chocolate pancakes. He flips them when they bubble, then adds them to Nifty’s plate, not noticing how she slightly stumbles from the weight. He hears a squeak, something wind around his feet, and then-
“Alastor!”
Lucifer looks up, seeing one of Alastor’s tentacles holding the nearly dropped plate of pancakes, Alastor standing in the doorway. Nifty runs over to Alastor, tackle-hugging his leg
“Alastor! You saved dinner!” Nifty cheers, letting Alastor scoop her up into his arms. When she’s in his arms, she stands up in them, summoning the red rose, orange blossom and baby’s breath crown and proudly showing it to Alastor
Alastor gives her an amused look, “Ah, you’ve been busy. Where did you find flowers?”
“Mr. Lucifer made me a garden!”
“Oh, how lovely. It’s a beautiful crown.” Alastor says
“It’s for you!”
Alastor looks genuinely surprised, then softens in delight, “Is it? Will you put it on for me?”
“Yes! I dub thee, Prince Alastor of Radiolandia!” Nifty cheers, crowning Alastor
Alastor chuckles, “Thank you, Princess Nifty of Roachlandia.”
“Roachlandia?” Lucifer asks, passing off the last of the pancakes to Alastor’s tentacle
Nifty gasps in delighted realization, “You can watch my roach show tonight! Usually only Al watches them!”
“What’s a…roach show?”
“It’s a puppet show! But with roaches!” Nifty says eagerly, practically vibrating with excitement, “They’re really great! Right, Alastor?!”
“They make Shakespeare bow his head in shame.” Alastor says, guiding the plate of pancakes to the table
“Well, I’d be honored to attend!” Lucifer says, his interest piqued
Nifty squeals and claps, bouncing out of Alastor’s arms and sitting at the table. The others file in, with Charlie and Vaggie showing up last, both looking exhausted. Charlie gives her Dad a soft smile, and he gives her shoulder a gentle squeeze as he passes by with plates. Husk gets strawberry pancakes, Alastor gets chocolate pancakes, and Nifty gets the strawberry and chocolate. Lucifer feels warmed when they eagerly tuck in. He likes taking care of his lambs. It feels like maintaining a beloved treasure. He glances over to Charlie, who is staring off into space as she eats
Must be in the middle of a hard talk…Lucifer decides not to press Charlie on it, trusting that she’ll seek his counsel if she needs it. He hopes she’s holding her ground. Charlie is a wonderful girl, but can crumble under pressure…
Hopefully, she’ll get through to Vaggie…
Notes:
Thank you all so much for all the bookmarks and kudos and always incredible comments!! It makes me so happy to scroll through 3 pages of comments and see all your opinions and thoughts and ideas!! Especially all the different takes on the Vaggie situation, I get so excited to read and respond to them!! :))
Chapter 17: The Roach Show
Summary:
Lucifer attends Nifty's show and updates his lambs on the rules of the hotel
Notes:
I have a feeling that I based the roach story off of something, but I can't figure out what, so if y'all see what my inspo was, let me know because the roach story was giving me serious deja-vu while I was writing it but I have no idea why! Please enjoy! :3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucifer finds himself inexplicably captivated by the roach show. It holds up to its name, as Nifty has literally ripped roaches apart and somehow sewn their bodies back together, their every limb and even antenna up for her manipulation with the tiny strings they hang on. Fascinatingly, the roaches are extremely animated, having body language and clear emotions. Not only that, they had costumes. Tiny yet incredibly intricate ensembles that Nifty can swiftly swap them in and out of
And he and Alastor don’t make eye contact once. Everytime Lucifer tears his eyes away from the show, he finds Alastor quite literally on the edge of his seat, elbows touching his knees, his eyes fixed to the show with his fingers curled over his mouth. And Lucifer does the same as the show carries on, because…
The show is fantastic. The story is about a divorcing couple who fight ferociously over their marital home. One day, the wife accidentally kills her husband by removing a decoration from the roof that he was used to laying against when he fixed the leaks in the roof. With the decoration gone, he slips off the roof and is killed (Lucifer gasps when it happens. Like, actually gasps) He begins to haunt the home they once shared, and his untimely death brings them close together again…
“Please. Don’t allow us to be separated any longer.” The husband roach whispers, gently reaching out for his wife, “I could create an accident. I could make it painless. We could…we could be together again…”
The wife roach turns away, “But what if I go somewhere that you can’t follow?”
“You’d go here. Our business is unsettled, and if we both died accidentally…”
“But your death wasn’t an accident, Christopher.” The roach wife says coldly, drawing loud gasps from the audience
“Wasn’t an accident? You…you knew I was going to fall?” The roach husband whispers
“Of course I did. I watched over you when you worked on the roof. I knew you leaned up on that idiotic flamingo statue.” The roach wife turns away, crossing her arms, “And…I was tired of fighting you. I just wanted freedom. From you, from your…vices…, from the life that you’d trapped me in…” The wife roach laughs sharply, “What am I doing?! You’ve nearly trapped me again! I have dreams! A life to live! And you-!” She turns cold, grabbing her bag, “Well, you're just a ghost of my past.” She heads to the doorway, “Goodbye, Christopher.”
When she crosses the doorway, an axe falls directly onto her. Killing her instantly. The husband roach stands over her body
“I suppose that wasn’t an accident either.” He says, “See you soon, Mary…”
The curtain closes.
Alastor and Lucifer stand up, clapping and cheering loudly, Alastor whistling. Nifty pops up from behind the stage, taking a bow with a huge smile
“Wonderful show, Darlin’! Just wonderful!” Alastor says, “I truly thought she might escape him!”
Nifty giggles, “Nobody ever escapes in my shows! Just like the actor bugs couldn’t escape me!”
“Bravo!” Lucifer cheers, “That was sensational!”, he summons a bouquet of daisies, giving them to Nifty, who lights up as she accepts them
“Thank you for coming, Mr. Lucifer!”
“Of course! I’ll start coming here instead of the theater!” Lucifer chuckles, then makes a surprised noise when Nifty bounces up into his arms
“Really?! That means I can hunt more actors!” Nifty says, and nearly bounces up and scurries off before Alastor grabs her
“Hang on now, Doll. As eager as I am for you to expand the cast, you need to get some sleep.” Alastor says
“Not tired! Gotta hunt!” Nifty says, thrashing around
“Nifty, it’s been days.”
“Days? Why haven’t you slept in days?” Lucifer asks
Nifty goes still and Alastor goes rigid, both of them sharing a look
“…well…there’s a lot to do at the hotel!” Nifty says, “I wanna finish my list!”
“List? What list?” Lucifer asks
Nifty summons a list and hands it to Lucifer, “Charlie gave us these! If we finish them, we get gold stars!”
“And what do you get besides that?” Lucifer asks, taking the list and looking it over, “Do you trade the stars in for something?”
“Um…I don’t think so!”
Lucifer frowns. Charlie hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Well, you can with me. Give me a star, I’ll buy you a present. Or, do you a favor.”
Nifty and Alastor both look interested
“A present?!” Nifty squeals
“A favor?” Alastor asks
“Yes. You lambs work hard, you deserve rewards. Let me put a limit on this, though.” Lucifer says, summoning a pen and adding a note to the bottom of the list, “These lists can be done weekly. If you finish early, then you can take the rest of the week off. I’ll tell Charlie to schedule a day where you can get new lists.”
“Your majesty, we can handle-“
“Hush. All three of you would work yourselves into a ditch and then run out to buy shovels.” Lucifer said, giving Nifty her list back, “You need time to yourselves. To eat, to sleep, or just do something fun. Ah! While I'm on the subject!” Lucifer says, snapping his fingers in realization, “Walk with me!”
Nifty and Alastor follow Lucifer to Husk’s bar. Husk looks up from shining glasses, giving Alastor and Nifty a look, who both shrug at him
“I wanted to inform you all that you’re here to help Charlie.”
“…duh, Boss?” Husk says, looking at Lucifer like he’s suffered a head injury
“And for further clarification, only Charlie. Nobody else can order you around besides Charlie. They can ask favors of you and remind you of Charlie’s orders, but they cannot force you to do anything.”
“Fuck yes!” Husk whoops, grabbing down 4 shot glasses and pouring straight gin over all of them, “We’re drinking tonight!”
“One drink, then you all need to get some sleep.”
“Only Charlie can order us around.” Husk says with a shit-eating grin
“And me, Husk! Obviously!”
Husk chuckled, nodding and putting the vodka away, “Gotta keep you on your toes, Boss.”
Lucifer huffed, slamming back a shot with the others. Nifty’s face twists when she does, still not quite used to the burn of alcohol. She yawns afterwards
“I'm gonna go to bed…night, guys…”
“Goodnight, Nifty.” Alastor says
“Seeya, Niff.” Husk says
“Goodnight, Nifty. Did you have a good day?” Lucifer asks
“The best!” Nifty says, getting excited again before her eyes droop, “Mm…night…” and she leaves
As she passes by the staircase, Charlie comes out, leaning over the banister, “Dad?”
Lucifer looked up immediately, “Yes?”
“I need your counsel.”
Lucifer gets up, going to her without a thought. He reaches her quickly, “Of course, Duckling. How can I help?”
Notes:
I'm so so so blown away that we're at 1500+ VIEWS?! That's so crazy, thank y'all so much! And thank you guys so much for the comments, as always! I love, love, LOVE reading and responding to them, y'all are so sweet! :3
Chapter 18: The Father of Lies
Summary:
Lucifer and Vaggie begin to discuss the lambs
Notes:
Okay so! Just to note this beforehand, I had to look up what the Hierarchy is in the Hellaverse and I THINK I got it right, keyword is THINK. So please excuse me if the hierarchy with my AU additions is a little muddy, it WILL come up again and be explored further! ALSO! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 6! PLEASE VIEW THAT FIRST TO AVOID SPOILERS!! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Charlie takes Lucifer to the bedroom that she shares with Vaggie, filling him in as she does, “Vaggie and I can’t come to an agreement. She doesn’t get the big deal about ordering the others around, and I can’t figure out how to explain it to her, since…y’know…”
“Since you don’t own any souls?” Lucifer guesses
Charlie nods, “She says she doesn’t really get the whole, ‘owning souls’ thing?”
“Because she’s not from here?”
“Hellborn? Uh…I guess so? She just doesn’t get it, and we’ve been going in circles about it since I talked to her.” Charlie says, knocking on the door and then taking Lucifer into her room
Vaggie is standing in the middle of their room, arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently. She doesn’t say a word, but her face twists, her body tensed, like an animal about to pounce. Ugh. Angels.
“What can I help you understand?” Lucifer asks politely
Again, not a word, so Charlie answers, “I guess we want to know why Vaggie can’t give orders.”
Lucifer hums, “Because the lambs are mine. I’m lending them to Charlie and Charlie alone.”
Finally, Vaggie speaks, “For the good of the hotel. And as Charlie’s partner and someone that runs the hotel, I should have say over them, right?”
Lucifer rolls his shoulders. She wants to play ignorant? Please. He’s the father of lies. “No, I sent them here for the good of Charlie. If Charlie left this hotel and started, I dunno, selling magazines, the lambs would go with her.”
“And I would too. I’m her partner.”
“Yes, I’m aware. But you aren’t in a unit. You aren’t engaged, or married. Her property isn't your property. Even then, the lambs aren’t her property, they’re mine. I choose who they serve, and I chose Charlie.”
Vaggie’s face twists again, “Even still, I run this hotel.”
“You don’t own it.”
“So? Charlie doesn’t either, but she still gets to have authority here.” Vaggie spits, “Landlord or not, we run it.”
Lucifer gives Charlie a confused look, raising his eyebrow, “Charlie?”
“Ah…Vaggie, I do own the hotel.” Charlie says sheepishly
“What?! But when we moved in you said you ‘didn’t exactly own it!’” Vaggie snaps, putting up air quotes
“Right, because my Dad owns the land, and we co-own the building. He built it.”
Oh. THAT’S why Lucifer had never needed a tour…that explains all the circus decor around the hotel too…
“Why didn’t you tell me that?!” Vaggie asks, throwing her hands up
“Why didn’t you tell me that you called my dad about the lambs?!” Charlie huffs, turning away and crossing her arms, “You knew how upset I was when Alastor got punished, and you got them all in trouble!”
“Because they’re here to help us! And they wouldn’t help with a commercial!”
“Again, just here to help Charlie.” Lucifer cuts in, “And they did help you. Alastor made a commercial on his own and Husk acted in yours.”
“Well they did a shit job!”
“Vaggie-!” Charlie hissed
“It’s not their job to help you. They. Are. Here. For. Charlie.” Lucifer said slowly
“Mr. Morningstar, with all due respect, I’m Charlie’s partner! I'm above them!”
“Oh, here we go…” Charlie said, sitting down in a chair instantly summoned by Lucifer. Now Vaggie was gonna get the hierarchy lecture…they’d be here for a while…
Lucifer barked out a sharp laugh, “Wow! First of all, you have been with Charlie for 3 years! Not only do I own socks older than your relationship, but I’ve known every single one of my lambs longer than you’ve known Charlie! Putting someone that I’ve known for less than a decade above them would be insanity! Second of all, you aren’t above them in Hell’s Hierarchy!” Lucifer summons a whiteboard, writing and drawing arrows while he talks, “The hierarchy goes like this.”
Lucifer (The King of Hell)
⬇️
Lilith (The Queen of Hell)
⬇️
Charlie (The Princess of Hell)
⬇️
The Royally Owned Souls (The Lambs)
⬇️
The Seven Deadly Sins
⬇️
The Sins’ owned souls
⬇️
The Ars Goetia Family
⬇️
The Goetia’s owned souls
⬇️
The Overlords
⬇️
The Overlords’ owned souls
⬇️
Sinners
⬇️
Sinners’ owned souls
⬇️
The Hellborn
⬇️
The Hellborn’s owned souls
⬇️
The Imps
⬇️
The Imps’ owned souls
⬇️
The Hellhounds
⬇️
The Hellhounds' owned souls
“Of course,” Lucifer said, capping his marker, “no lamb could order around a Deadly Sin. But a Deadly Sin would be killed for harming one of my lambs. The hierarchy is based on importance, not power. And you, my friend,” he tapped on ‘Sinners’, “Are here. 6 layers below my lambs.”
Vaggie’s mouth went dry looking at the board. Holy shit. The Lambs were right below Charlie. Lucifer wasn’t screwing around.
“Even if you and Charlie were married.” Lucifer said coolly, “What I say goes. This is my realm, my hotel, my daughter, my lambs. I hope that makes you feel as small as you are.”
Vaggie did, in fact, feel small. It was a cold slap in an inferno of anger, an instant extinguisher. Her mouth was dry, her hands sweaty
“Frankly, I’m appalled I had to have this conversation with my daughter’s partner. I’ve never had to pull this on the lambs. If you were mine, you’d be sore, Dear.” Lucifer added, then turned to Charlie, “If you want to borrow the paddle, just say the word, Hon. Shall I take my leave?”
“I think that’d be best.” Charlie said, giving her Dad a hug, “Night, Dad.”
“Night, Ducky.” Lucifer says, kissing her forehead and taking his leave
Lucifer had a feeling that he’d only won the first round in this fight. With the girl being an Angel, she fancied herself as above the hierarchy, or at least removed from it. She didn’t consider that Hell was more than sin and debauchery, it was a tight system of relationships. And he’d be damned if he put some girl over his beloved lambs. Unlike her, they knew how to behave. Ugh, it was going to feel fabulous to reward Husk for his good behavior tomorrow
As for Vaggie…this was far from resolved…
Lucifer finds a room on the eighth floor, right next to Alastor’s, that's unoccupied. He decides to make it his, using his magic and sculpting equipment to transform the plain room into a grand bedroom fit for Hell’s King. It’s gold, with accents of royal purple and an occasional touch of red. He puts a work desk in the corner, a few shelves of books, and on further consideration, puts special paper on his desk. He writes 3 identical notes in the paper, slips them under the lambs’ doors, then heads to bed
‘Lambs,
I’ve turned the room next to Alastor’s into my own. At the desk is special paper. Anything written on it will find its way back to me. Use that information how you will.
-Lucifer’
Notes:
Thank you all so much for the kudos and bookmarks and incredibly nice and supportive comments, y'all are truly so sweet and it inspires me to write more!! Also just in case it messes up any formatting, I'm going to go back to the beginning and add a glossary to the first chapter's author's note since we're nearing 20 chapters. So if you see me tinkering around and it makes something go weird, don't worry, I check every single change I make multiple times across multiple devices, so any errors or weirdness gets fixed fast! :)
Chapter 19: The Prince of Friendlandia!
Summary:
The lambs, Angel, Lucifer and Charlie talk over breakfast
Notes:
I was laughing myself to DEATH adding in a reference to Angela Anaconda in this (Smutville), god if y'all haven't seen the sweary fairy scene in that show, it's truly a gem. Anyways, early chapter today to celebrate me quitting my shitty job and pursuing something less demanding (Yay for more writing time!) Please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
In the morning, Lucifer tries to get up early enough to make everyone breakfast, but is beaten by Alastor. By a lot, judging by how breakfast (French toast) is practically finished by the time he arrives
Alastor gives him a smug little grin when he arrives, “Your majesty. Enjoy sleeping in, did we?”
“Hush. Did you sleep last night? Oh, and did you get my note?”
“Message received.”
“But did you-“
“Mr. Lucifer, you’re up!” Nifty squeals, running in and attaching herself to Lucifer’s leg, crawling up him like a spider
“Hey, Nifty!” Lucifer says, taking her off his leg and into his arms, “Did you get my note?”
“Yeah!”
“Morning, Boss.” Husk says, trudging in with a yawn, “I got your note.”
“Ah! Excellent! Could you all do me a favor?” Lucifer asks, smiling when they all look at him and nod, “Keep that information to yourselves. You all having a direct line to me absolutely cannot be tampered with. Understand?”
“A secret? Even from Charlie?” Husk asks
“Charlie knows about it, of course. But nobody else. Sound good?”
The lambs all nodded, pleased that they knew something that Vaggie didn’t. They sat down to breakfast, Angel Dust trudging in soon after
“Ah, Angel. How was work?” Alastor asked, giving him a plate of food
Angel offers him a weak smile, “It was…work. Same ol’, same ol’. How are ya, Red? I ain’t really seen ya since they announced ta new deadline.”
“Ah, yes. Much to catch you up on. How are you, my friend?”
Angel got the message immediately, ‘not in front of my boss’, so gladly mentally noted to spend some time with Alastor later, “Ah, workin…Valentino is recruiting more…employees…people are gettin desperate. They need some money, hopin’ ta build bunkers or somethin’…” Angel sighed, “They have no idea what they’re gettin’ themselves into with him…”
“Ah, yes. That…charming fellow. He’s a V, correct?” Lucifer asked
“He is.”
“Who are the V’s?” Charlie asks, coming in by herself and sitting next to Lucifer
Alastor hands her a plate with a smile, “Nobody important, Dear.”
“A group of Overlords.” Lucifer says, “They work with Alastor.”
“Wait, Red’s an overlord?” Angel asks, “Is that allowed? Considering he’s…y’know?”
“Mine? Yes, it’s allowed.” Lucifer said, “I think it’s beneath him, but it pleases him, so,” he shrugs, “why not.”
“So you…work with Val?” Angel asks, tracing his finger along the rim of his glass and looking up at Alastor
Alastor looked surprised at the question, then considered it carefully, “Mm…technically, yes. But Valentino is rarely at the overlord meetings. Usually it’s only Velvette and…” Alastor scoffed, his tone turning poisonous, “Vox.”
“Hate that prick.” Angel huffed, then cooled down, “So you don’t…support…Valentino?”
Alastor’s smile twitched in disbelief, his eyes narrowing, “Support him? He’s a dime-store smut-peddler, my friend. The only thing I’d support involving him is a trip to the gallows.”
Angel laughed loudly at that, the relief hitting his chest hard. Oh thank god, Valentino hadn’t gotten Red to agree to his…tactics…Angel knew a lot of the overlords didn’t get along, but it was so good to be sure. Actually, though, that begged the question…which overlord was Alastor? Angel only heard about them through some frankly…crude nicknames. The ones he remembered…
The V’s, of course. Vox, Velvette, and Valentino. The others were Shakespeare Spider, Spinster Cannibal, Card Counter, The Old Bitch, Traitorous Whore, Rave Dog, Creepy Squid Family…was that it? Weird, he’d have to ask Alastor about it when Nifty wasn’t staring him down like he was a meal
“Niff…?” Angel said tentatively
Nifty hopped down from her chair, going to Angel and reaching up to be picked up. Angel made a surprised sound, he’d hardly spoken to this girl, but picked her up into his lap. Once she was in reach of him, she summoned a flower crown made of grape vine and mint
“I dub thee, Prince Angel of Friendlandia!” She cheered, crowning Angel with it
Oh, that was a punch right in his cold, dead little heart. Friendlandia? Not Pornlandia, not Smutville, not even Starworld or some shit- she doesn’t see him as an actor…but as her friend? The Prince of Friendship? Ohhhh, fuck him. If anyone so much as looked at this girl wrong, they were gonna be target practice. Any of the lambs, really…it’s weird how they’ve only been here for…a week? Holy shit, it’s only been a week. It’s a week today. Damn it, how had Angel already gotten attached…?
“Thanks, Niff.” Angel says softly
“Welcome!” Nifty says as if she just hasn’t shaken Angel’s entire world, hopping down from his lap and going to Charlie, “Charlie, you get one too!”
Charlie claps her hands together, instantly tearing up at her crown of holly and juniper, “Oh, it’s beautiful!”
“I have one for Vaggie, too!” Nifty says, summoning it and giving it to Charlie, “Here!”
“Ohhhhh, that’s so sweet!” Charlie says, “I’ll make sure she gets it! Oh, unless you want to-?”
“Nope!” Nifty says, sitting down and attacking her plate of French Toast
Charlie giggles, shaking her head, “Fair enough.”
“Speakin’ a which, where is short, snippy and stabby?” Angel asks, looking around the kitchen to make sure he hadn’t missed her
“Ah, yeah…she’s…sleeping- oh, who am I kidding, she’s sulking.” Charlie says with a sigh, giving Alastor a look when his audience starts laughing
“Sulkin’? Over what?”
“Because she isn’t allowed to order my lambs around.” Lucifer says
“She’s mad at-?! Oh, come on! Tell her ta get ta fuck over herself! If any unowned could order around any owned, Hell would a madhouse!” Angel hisses, “There are rules!”
“That’s a good way to put it. You’re very clever.” Lucifer says, giving Angel an approving smile
Alastor goes over to Angel, bending down and whispering something in his ear. Angel gives him a bewildered look, “The commercial?!” Alastor nods, whispers something else, and Angel stands up, marching over to the stairs and screaming up them, his voice deep, with a threatening edge to it, “HEY! YA EVER, AND I MEAN EVER GET MY FRIENDS IN TROUBLE AGAIN, I’LL WHOOP YA MYSELF! YA AIN’T BETTER THAN THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE THE PRINCESS’ BITCH INSTEAD OF HER PET! GO FUCK YASELF!” Then he returns to the kitchen, politely and calmly sitting at the table and taking up a forkful of French Toast, “Red, this is fantastic, ya’ve really outdone yaself.”
Alastor, Husk, Nifty and Lucifer all look at him with large, surprised eyes. The lambs look at Lucifer tentatively, and after some consideration, Lucifer’s shock melts into approval, the lambs seeing it and grinning at Angel appreciably
Angel gives them all a nod, then looks at an equally shocked Charlie, “That ain’t nothin’ against you, Princess. Who ya shack up with is ya business, not mine.”
“Right, I’m not offended.” Charlie said, then seemed to reconsider it, “Wait…am I?” She shook it off, “Either way…I should go talk to her. I’ll see you later for exercises, Angel!”
“Good luck, Princess.” Angel said while the others waved bye
“Let me know if you need anything.” Lucifer says
“Of course. Thanks, Guys!” Charlie said, leaving and heading upstairs. When she was alone, she sighed. They’d been talking most of the night already…how was she supposed to make Vaggie understand where she was coming from? After Charlie had found her after the extermination 3 years ago, Vaggie hadn’t interacted with many aspects of Hell…and that inexperience was showing in this argument…
Charlie went into their room, surprised to find Vaggie sitting on their bed. Before Charlie could say anything, Vaggie spoke
“Charlie, we need to talk.”
Notes:
HOW ARE WE ALMOST AT 2K VIEWS?? That's so crazy, I'm so happy at all the love this fic is getting!! Thank you guys so much for all the kudos and amazing comments and bookmarks, I'm so glad y'all are loving reading this as much as I'm loving writing it!! Also, the glossary has been fixed finally! A03 is still new to me! Anyways, glossary is now at the top of the fic in its own section! Yay! So thrilled to read what y'all think of this one!!
Chapter 20: Disobedient Soldiers
Summary:
Charlie and Vaggie talk, Lucifer apologizes to Husk, and Angel and Alastor talk
Notes:
Super early chapter today because I'm heading out with my friend and I'm not sure when I'll be back! :3 I expect this chapter to be pretty polarizing, some people will probably hate it, others will love it, but either way, I'm happy with the direction I'm taking this! Anyways, enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Charlie made a surprised sound, but nodded, sitting next to Vaggie on the bed, “What’s up?”
“I’m…not sure how to say this…” Vaggie hummed, deep in thought
Charlie teared up, “You want to…?”
Vaggie gently took Charlie’s face in her hands, pulling her over for a soft kiss, “Mi Coraźon, of course I don’t want to break up….do you?”
“Of course not. I love you.” Charlie said softly, tears slipping down her face
Vaggie felt a tug at her heartstrings. Ugh, this had gone too far…, “I love you too. What I wanted to say was…well…as you know…I’m not really…from around here. Where I grew up…” Vaggie considered her words carefully, “…it was cut-throat. There were no friends, no relationships, no love, no care…and I really…really thought that around here, it would be the same. And I was honestly seeing the lambs as disobedient soldiers…”
Charlie’s eyes lit up with understanding, nodding along
“I didn’t think that Hell could be more than a war ground. And I was sitting here ready to keep my head in the dirt until…well, until Angel just yelled at me.” Vaggie looked at Charlie, curiosity shimmering in her eye, “They’re…friends? How is that possible down here? Hell sucks. And they’re so fiercely protective of eachother…how did you teach them that?”
“I didn’t teach them anything, Vaggie.” Charlie said, taking Vaggie’s hands in hers, “They were human once. It’s built into them. Humans connect, and they have potential…potential to be good.”
Two things hit Vaggie at once. One, the realization that the lambs and Angel had all once been human. How could she forget that? They’d had entire lives before Hellfire…and two, that Heaven had skewed her perception of Sinners…she’d been taught that they were self-serving, violently anti-social, and killing them was like wiping a stain from existence. But there was life in that stain, care in that stain…Charlie was right, Sinners weren’t hopeless…fuck. Then Vaggie had been a real asshole…
“I don’t see how I can move past this…” Vaggie said softly, “They must really hate me…”
“They don’t.” Charlie said, putting the flower crown of dragon lily and pea flowers on Vaggie’s head, “They’re just hurt, Babe. But…” she got up, going over to her dresser and pulling out a letter, “An apology goes a long way…”
Vaggie took the letter when Charlie opened it, finding a note in flawless calligraphy. It read, ‘Dearest Charlie, I simply must apologize for changing the name of your hotel. I will improve my behavior going forward. -Alastor’ Vaggie flinched, ooo, that’s why Charlie had been so torn up over Alastor’s first punishment, because he’d apologized. She considered the letter carefully, then handed it back to Charlie
“Do you have any paper?” She asked
Charlie nodded, “There’s some in Dad’s office. On his desk.”
“Would he mind if I used it?”
“Not at all!” Charlie said brightly, her smile falling when Vaggie left the room. She didn’t like hiding details from Vaggie, but Dad needed to be in the loop on what Vaggie said to the lambs, no matter what it was…
-
“Husk, let’s spend the day together!”
“…scuze me?” Husk huffed, turning to see Lucifer sat at the bar, grinning cheekily
“Well, I wanted to apologize for the way you all were treated over that…commercial mess. I punished you all without having the information I needed. I’m horrified that I made my lambs upset. So, I apologize. To solidify it, and show you how sorry I am, let’s spend the day together. I’ll give you or do whatever you want.” Lucifer said, just as genuine as he was with Nifty
Husk raised an eyebrow skeptically. Behind Lucifer, down the hallway, Nifty stopped and gave Husk a big thumbs up. Husk hummed, considering the offer for a minute, “…anything I want?”
“Anything. Just not freedom.”
“…I want a game room.”
Lucifer raised an eyebrow, “Gambling? Husk-“
“Who said anything about gambling? I said a game room. For games. Poker, Uno, Monopoly, Trouble- fuck, I’d settle for go fish. I’m bored.”
“Interesting…we might be able to add a room to the lobby…” Lucifer mumbled, stroking his chin with his fingers thoughtfully, “Can you draw me a blueprint?”
“Uhhh…NIFF! CAN I BORROW YA?” Husk called down the hallway. Nifty appeared quickly, and Lucifer nursed a whiskey as she and Husk discussed the designs. Within the hour, it was drawn up. Lucifer summoned his sculpting equipment. This was going to take a while.
-
“Red, can I ask ya a question?”
Alastor looked up from hammering down new flooring, nails secured in his mouth, “Mhm?”
“Jeez-us, Cervo! Spit those out!” Angel squawked, rushing over and holding his hand out for the nails, catching them when Alastor spat them out, “Eugh! Ya coulda choked yourself!”
“Wouldn’t have killed me.” Alastor said, turning back to the flooring
“Oh, sure, whatever- look, I got a question. About…Lucifer.”
“Ask it.” Alastor said, not even glancing up from his work
“Right…um…I asked ya this before, but I didn’t really mean it…and…now I do mean it. What’s it like…being owned by Lucifer?” Angel asked shyly
“Is there a reason you want to know?”
“…he offered me a place in the flock. A place with you and Nifty and Husk.”
Alastor snorted, “Doesn’t surprise me.”
“…it doesn’t? So he was like…jokin’, or…?”
“He was completely serious.” Alastor said, taking a nail from Angel’s hand and hammering it into the floor, “If your soul goes up for sale, call him and he’ll run down to get you.”
“A serious offer…is it one I’d want to take?”
“If the choice was between freedom and Lucifer, choose freedom. If the choice was between all the degenerates in Hell and Lucifer, choose Lucifer.” Alastor said, taking another nail
“What if…my soul goes up for sale a lot…?” Angel asked, looking away bashfully
“Ah, yes, that fun little humiliation ritual.” Alastor said, his voice dripping with distaste, “Put you up for sale, then outbid any potential buyers, just to show that you’re their property.”
“How do you know the V’s do that…?”
“I have informants.” Alastor says simply, “But if you want Lucifer to have you, he’ll gladly outbid the V’s for you. Unlike them, he sees you as a person. Not just a soul.”
“Right…but what’s it like, being his?”
Alastor hummed thoughtfully, taking another nail, “As you know, we’re called the lambs. He sees himself as our shepherd. Our owner, ruler, guiding hand, all that. Personally, I see him as a livestock guardian dog. I can play in the field all I like, make any wolf angry, and if they try to retaliate, I simply run to Lucifer. One bare of his fangs, and I’m safe again. Sometimes I trade protection for punishment, but ultimately,” He takes another nail, “I haven’t feared for my life since I joined the lambs. Honestly, I don’t even fear Lucifer.”
“You don’t?” Angel whispered
“He’s usually calm, usually fair, and usually kind. If he steps out of those traits, I know he’ll step back into them. I know him, and he knows me. He’s…well, don’t tell him I said this, but he’s a good man.”
“But you want to be free, don’t you?”
“That's a difficult question. Sometimes I’m ravenously hungry for it, other times I don’t care one bit for it. Mostly, I wish I had my full powers and the ability to do whatever I please without being dragged back to Lucifer’s field by my ear like a naughty child.” Alastor says, taking the last nail from Angel
“Right, the punishments…I ain’t gonna act like I don’t get punished, but spanking is…uh…new to me. At least, outside of the sexual sense. What if I reacted wrong to it?”
“You're asking what to do if it excited you?” Alastor asks, straightening up and popping his back when Angel nods, “I can’t see Lucifer caring about that. Just inform him beforehand, and he’d probably ignore it entirely. He’s quite patient when it really matters.”
“Damn. He’s really good, huh?”
“His only fatal flaw is how much he cares for Charlie.” Alastor says, “Anything involving her raises him from a 2 to a 10. He’s loving, kind, eager to please, but also impulsive and quick to anger. Insult or upset her, you won’t walk right for a week.”
“I see…but he doesn’t ask ya for like…ya body?”
“Only your time and good behavior. We represent him, and if he doesn’t like the representation, he corrects it.”
Angel nods, considering this, “I see…thank ya, Red…I gotta go think things over.”
“Alright. Oh, Angel?”
“…yeah?”
“Welcome to the flock.”
Angel laughs, but nods. Maybe one day, that’ll be true
Notes:
WE HIT 2K VIEWS!! Absolutely insane you guys!! Thank you all so much for all the love this story is getting!! Vaggie's arc is far from resolved! Stay tuned! :3
Chapter 21: On Tap!
Summary:
The cast plays Uno!
Notes:
I imagine that since the cast drinks quite a bit and are all already dead, they'd have CRAZY alcohol tolerance. ALSO, I looked around for cast ages and could only find the old canon, so excuse me if their ages are off! I tried to keep it a bit vague since Viv might have changed the canon! Had a lot of fun writing this one, I think it's silly! Enjoy! >:3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“CAN I SEE EVERYONE IN THE LOBBYYYY? THANK YOUUUU!” Lucifer called out like a sports announcer, giving a smile to Husk and Nifty
Charlie and Vaggie appeared quickly, Vaggie holding a stack of letters in her arms. Quietly, she gave one each to Lucifer, Husk and Nifty. Lucifer gave her an approving look, tucking it into his jacket, while Husk and Nifty gave her curious looks, but took the letters. Angel came down, a tired looking Alastor after him, both taking the letters with a bit of a sneer
“Alright! By Husk’s request, we now have a hotel game room!” Lucifer said, leading everyone into the new game room. It was cozy, full of deep reds and blacks, the lighting coming from a few large lamps. It was covered wall to wall with cabinets full of different games, and in the middle was a massive game table, similar to the one that arrived with Husk last week, “And we’re playing Uno!”
“And we’re drinking! And it’s the good shit! ” Husk says, a huge, genuine grin on his face, “You’re welcome, ya miserable fucks!”
“Ooooo! Husky, ya cashed in this favor!” Angel said, sitting at the table and popping open a bottle for himself, “Red, sit by me!”
“We don’t want to sit next to each other in Uno.” Alastor said, coming to stand over Angel’s shoulder, “Who you sit by is who you screw over.” He then turned to Lucifer, sweet as pie, “Your majesty, who are you sitting by?”
Lucifer gave him an amused look, “You can be at my right, if that would please you.”
“Greatly.” Alastor said, sitting down and pulling Lucifer into the chair to his left. He grabbed his bottle, popping it and taking a sip, “Ah, that’s expensive.”
“Shit yeah it’s expensive! And it’s on tap!” Husk said, his head held high, arms crossed pridefully
“Good man.” Alastor said, raising his bottle to Husk and taking a swig
Everyone else sat at the table, with Vaggie to Lucifer’s left, Charlie to her’s, Nifty beside her, Husk next to her, and Angel next to him.
Angel gave Alastor a grin and a shrug, “Don’t worry, I’m nice.”
“Oh, I’m sure. Who’s dealing?”
“I will.” Lucifer said, opening the pack of cards, “I’m the oldest.”
“Really? I thought ya were the youngest.” Husk said, rolling his eyes sarcastically
“Who is ta youngest here?” Angel asked, glancing around the table
“Um…me, right?” Nifty asked
“I’m the second oldest.” Charlie says, raising her hand
“I’m prolly third. I know I’m older than Al and Niff.” Husk says
“I’m older than Niff.” Angel says, “Cervo, how old were you when…?” Alastor leans in, whispering in Angel’s ear. Angel nods along, “Alright, I’m younger than Red.” He turns to Vaggie, “You?”
“I died in my 20’s.” Vaggie says simply
“You're the second youngest?!” Husk gawks, “Oh, no wonder you’re-!” Lucifer gives him a look, and Husk quickly backs off, “Theeeee way you are!”
“Better.” Lucifer says, dealing out the cards, “Alright, left of the dealer goes first. Vaggie, go ahead.”
Vaggie puts down a red 8, “There.”
They went in a circle, no special cards being played
“Aw, c’mon! You’re playin’ like pussies!” Angel whined
“Why don’t you play somethin’, then?” Husk asked
“Cuz I ain’t got shit!”
“Toothless.” Husk huffed, and put down a +2, “There. Now quit whinin.’”
“Oh, thanks, Husky. Ain’t you a gentleman.” Angel huffed, drawing two cards
“I pride myself on it, Hon.”
Angel raised an eyebrow, ‘Hon?’ Did Husk really just call him Hon? Jeez, did he pregame or something? The drinking has barely started. Angel checks his bottle of liquor, eyes going wide
There, in tiny text, was the alcohol percentage
12%
Oh, this night was gonna be interesting
-
Nifty is the first to stop playing two games and three drinks in, leaning heavily into Husk’s side and shutting her eyes
“It’s your turn, Niff.” Husk, who’s 6 drinks in, says softly
“Play for me…?” She whispers
Husk hums, adding her cards to his deck without a word, “Hey, Boss.”
Lucifer, who’s only on his second drink, looks up from his hand, “Hm?”
“Niff’s falling asleep.”
Lucifer softens, laying his hand down and standing up, strolling over and scooping Nifty up, “Say goodnight.”
“Night, guys…” Nifty mumbles
“Night, Nifty!” Everyone else says
Lucifer takes Nifty upstairs, humming a tune to her. He goes to her room, opening the door and softening even more
Nifty’s room is covered in tacked up drawings. Some are of objects around the hotel, or ideas for her plays, but a large portion of the drawings are of Lucifer, Husk and Alastor. Lucifer notes that Husk has the most drawings. She must see him the most. He tucks Nifty into bed, making sure the blankets are around her snugly
“Have fun today?” Lucifer asks, smoothing back her hair
“Tons…I like when you hang out with us, Mr. Lucifer…” Nifty whispers, drifting in and out of sleep
“I’m glad.” Lucifer whispers back, melting like butter at her words, “I like spending time with you all too. Get some rest, okay?”
“Okay…” Nifty whispers, and falls asleep instantly
Lucifer frowns at this. How long had it been since she’d slept? And on that note, what about Husk and Alastor? Husk was less of a workaholic than Nifty and Alastor, but could still shock Lucifer…
Lucifer stepped out of Nifty’s room, determined to do one thing tonight
Get all the lambs to sleep
-
Charlie, at 4 drinks in, is the next to stop playing, laughing to herself and scribbling down lesson plans on paper instead. Vaggie, 3 drinks in, inherits her cards, letting Charlie wind her hair around her fingers, braiding some pieces too
“You are so pretty…” Charlie whispers, a soft blush on her face
“Thank you, Honey.” Vaggie says, a blush dusting her cheeks
“I mean it…you’re like an Angel…”
Vaggie stiffens, then gives Charlie a smile, “Why don’t we get you to bed, Missy?”
“What are we gonna do there?” Charlie asks, eyes shimmering
“How aboutttt…cuddling?”
“YES! RACE YA!” Charlie squeals, getting up from the table and running for the stairs
Vaggie looks surprised, then gets up, giggling and running after her
Lucifer, 3 drinks in, chuckles and takes Vaggie and Charlie’s cards. “Just us boys, hm?”
Alastor, who was 6 drinks in, nodded, his eyes half-lidded. Husk, 10 drinks in, glanced up from his hand and nodded. Angel, 8 drinks in, just giggled, his head in his hand
-
Angel is the next to stop playing on his tenth drink, but doesn’t leave or fall asleep. Instead, he scoots down, looking at Husk intensely, “Husky…?”
Husk, now 13 drinks in, side-eyed him, “Ya better not ask me somethin’ dumb.”
“Can I put my…head on ya…lap…?”
“Can ya what?”
Angel giggled, swaying in his seat, “Ya look…really…f-…fluffy. Can…can I? Pretty please?”
“I can put him to bed, if you’d prefer.” Lucifer, 4 drinks in, says, glancing up from his hand
Husk huffed, tugging Angel’s head into his lap, “Fine. Just don’t tell anyone what I’ve got.”
“Yessssss…” Angel whispered, happily curling up into Husk’s lap and shutting his eyes
The game continues, a few hands passing before Angel speaks again, “Husssssky?”
“Mhm?”
“Can I…petttt ya?”
Husk huffs, “Fine. But only cuz I’m sloshed.”
“Yesssss, you’re my favvvvvoriteeeee…” Angel whispered
Husk braces himself for grabbing, pinching or pulling, but Angel is shockingly gentle. He winds his fingers around Husk’s fur, scratching ever so gently with his claws. It feels good…really good…ugh, Husk is so drunk…how long had it been since he’d…allowed this? He used to let Lucifer pet him, but that was 7 years ago…he allowed soft purrs to slip out, and he felt Angel smile against his stomach, his delight obvious. Husk…liked that. It was nice seeing Angel happy. Unguarded. He saw why he and Al got along…Al had walls up too…
But with Angel…Husk wanted to see…
More…
“I’m too drunk.” Husk said, getting himself and Angel up, his face burning
“Oh? Bedtime?” Lucifer asks, putting a card down
“Y-Yeah.” Husk said, doing his best to avoid eye-contact
“Let’s turn in, then.” Lucifer said, putting his cards down and standing up
“No, I can handle myself.” Husk says, backing away
“…something the matter, Kitty?” Lucifer asked, tilting his head curiously
“Nothing!” Husk said, grabbing Angel by the hand and dragging him off, “Angel and I are good! Goodnight!”
“Separate beds!” Lucifer called after him
“Duh, Boss! I ain’t no creep!” Husk spat, then took Angel upstairs
Lucifer hummed, then relaxed when he heard two doors shut. He trusted Husk, but two drunk men, at least one of them majorly touch starved, spelled trouble in his opinion. Not sexually, but if they blacked out and woke up together the next morning, they’d freak
Lucifer turned to his right with a grin, “Just you and me, Lamb.”
Alastor, 8 drinks in, grinned back, his radio crackling sharply
Oh, this was going to be a battle
Notes:
Ah thank you all for the comments and kudos and bookmarks!! I enjoy reading them and replying so much!! My internet isn't the best at the moment due to storms, so please excuse me if I'm super late to replying to comments or if there are errors in the formatting! I'll do my best to catch everything that comes up! :3
Chapter 22: Deer Season
Summary:
Lucifer fights Alastor to get to bed, Alastor fights to be heard
Notes:
Okay! This chapter contains light punishment (Small spanking scene and corner time) if you'd prefer to skip these scenes, they begin at 'As he suspected, Alastor was there...' and ends at 'Lucifer got Alastor out of the corner...' Also, I'm taking the jump and just making Alastor autistic in this fic, because he goes non-verbal in this chapter, so I'm going to be updating and adding some tags! SUPER excited about this chapter, hope you guys enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor stared Lucifer down, his radio crackling as he waited for him to make a move. Alastor was 8 drinks in. Usually, he stopped at 2 or 3, but the alcohol was expensive, unlimited, and good, so he’d indulged. In his mind, several urges were fighting for dominance. Fight Lucifer, mock him, test the limits, but, also, to ask for attention. To be…pet. Everything was slurring together, the room on a slight tilt. Or, wait, was Alastor’s head tilted? It was. He’d cocked his head at Lucifer, his radio playing a steady stream of absolute nonsense that Alastor hadn’t even noticed
“Oh, you are wasted.” Lucifer said softly, watching Alastor’s eyes lose and regain focus, “Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”
“Don…tell…” Alastor mumbles, standing up and stumbling horribly
“Fighters ready? Softttt kitty! Clear line up to bat…” Alastor’s radio sings, horribly off key as the audience fights to be heard
“Me…to…” Alastor stumbles again, nearly falling. The audience laughs loudly, cheering Alastor on
“Go home, you’ve had enough! Another? Another? Now we take the brush and begin our work. Winter shed.” The audience crows, completely out of control
“Do…” Alastor finishes
“‘Don’t tell me what to do?’ Is that what you just said?” Lucifer asks, crossing his arms sternly, “Drunk or not, you know better than to give me an attitude.”
“Know better? Turn the page. Turn on the oven. Tom Thumb, just the size of a thumb.” The audience babbled before screaming with laughter, “He speaks! The man speaks! SHUT HIM UP!”
“Turn off the radio.” Lucifer says, fixing Alastor with a look
“No.” Alastor and the radio say in sync, Alastor’s antlers beginning to grow
“‘I won’t go!’ Tom Thumb cried! So his father, in his wisdom, took him to the woodshed- AHAHAHAHAHA! Take a swing!”
“Are you threatening to spank me?” Lucifer asked in disbelief
“He speaks! The man speaks! Quiet now! Quiet! To the woodshed! The woodshed!”
“Alastor, I’m warning you-“
Alastor nearly falls, but manages to do two things. One, he summons his tentacles, two, he hits Lucifer.
Wait…
Did he just hit Lucifer?
Oh, fuck.
Alastor summons his shadow, disappearing quickly
Lucifer watches him go, the sting in his ass just proving his theory. Alastor was drunk, over-tired, upset with him, and very likely jealous and looking to test the limits. So impatient. His day is tomorrow. No matter. Lucifer can correct this boundary testing, get Alastor to bed, and thoroughly spoil his deer tomorrow. This little drunken rage changed nothing. Just meant that Alastor was aching for Lucifer’s attention. Stubborn boy. Could’ve written, could’ve called, but nooooo
Alright, focus. Where would the shadow have taken him? It couldn’t have been far, and Alastor loses control of his radio when he’s drunk, so Lucifer should be able to hear it when it’s nearby. Hm…kitchen
Lucifer takes his boots off to soften his footsteps, sneaking over to the kitchen and listening for any radio interference
“To bond, to bond, to bond, James Bond, super spy. Why Mr. Bond, don’t you think I can hear you? I have all the ears. All the years.”
Lucifer steps in quickly, finding Alastor sitting on the kitchen counter. Lucifer doesn’t bother with a staredown, going right over to grab his deer
“No touching the merchandise! It’s duck season, wabbit season, oh, fine, wabbit season! Oh no you don’t, it’s duck season!”
Lucifer recognizes that cartoon, oh fuck think of something quick-! “Ragtime gal!”
“Hello my baby, hello my honey!” The radio sings, picking it up instantly
Lucifer relaxes, nearly stumbling from the relief. The radio didn’t have a filter right now, and if Alastor heard a gunshot when he was obviously out of his head, he’d lose it
Alastor was stern when he came into Lucifer’s care, “I don’t handle guns, and if I hear a gunshot, I have to recover from the shock of it.”
The one time Alastor had heard a gunshot out and about the mansion, he’d hidden in a closet for nearly two hours while Lucifer tried to find him. Alastor had held on for dear life when Lucifer finally tracked him down, unable to speak besides the wail of his radio, which was playing songs in a jumbled attempt to calm Alastor
That happened sometimes, Alastor not speaking. It was unusual, but when it did happen, the radio spoke for him. Lucifer had had entire conversations with Alastor’s audience before, even requested it. He wanted to know them. And it seemed now that they were as pouty and put-out as Alastor. Actually…what had they been playing earlier?
“Hey.” Lucifer said calmly, keeping his face level, “Were we talking about a kitten earlier?”
“Talking? Oh, the man talks! He talks and talks! The man talks, the man! Man oh man, good ol Sam! Say, remember Sam? Hit by a tram! AHAHAHAHAHA!”
“Hey, now. Focus, please.”
“Focus! Focus the glass, look through it! Why, what’s there? What could it be?”
“A kitten.” Lucifer says, playing along and slowly inching towards Alastor
“A kitten! It’s shedding season! Season florals!”
Damn it, it’s too difficult to keep their attention on one thing. It was a babbling brook of thought. Never ending and loud. Lucifer quickly steps forward, a hair too late as Alastor disappears again. Ugh…
Lucifer heads upstairs, considering the audience as he does. A kitten and Tom Thumb. What did those have in common? It couldn’t be nothing, Alastor always had a train of thought, even if it wasn’t easily expressed. Hm…could Alastor be referring to cartoons? Yes! He’d been consistently quoting cartoons! Alastor never admitted it, claiming to hate all TV, but he actually liked some cartoons. Specifically the Looney Tunes. Although, again, he’d never admit it
Lucifer finds Alastor in his bedroom, hanging upside down, flopped out on his bed
“So tell me about this kitten.” Lucifer says, strolling over casually
“Why should we? Take you to the woodshed. Teach you some manners.” The audience snarled
“Like Tom Thumb?”
“Leave it alone. Leave the bird ALONE!”
Alastor turned away and Lucifer wisely didn’t grab him. Alright, so the Tom Thumb cartoon…hm…oh, yes. Tom befriended a bird and was spanked for letting it in the house. When winter came, he ran away to save the bird. The bird saves Tom from a storm and is allowed to sleep in the father’s beard. Hm…and the kitten…there were dozens of cartoons about kittens. Maybe that one was more literal? Did Alastor feel that he’d been left out in the cold? Did he want to come in? Warm himself at Lucifer’s affection?
Wait.
Was Alastor asking to cuddle?
Oh. Oh, oh, oh!
“Sweetheart-“ Lucifer cooed, attempting to scoop Alastor up
The audience shrieked something in French that sounded like a real cussing out, Alastor’s tentacle hitting Lucifer’s ass again before Alastor disappeared. Lucifer snapped his fingers, putting a spell on his own bedroom. He wasn’t sure why, but he had a feeling Alastor was there
Okay, so Lucifer should’ve apologized before Alastor got drunk. Now Alastor’s pent up frustration and need for attention was spilling out everywhere. Lucifer took a breath before he headed into his bedroom. He could fix this. Bring his deer down to earth
As he suspected, Alastor was there, laying on his stomach in the middle of Lucifer’s bed. Lucifer sat down, getting Alastor over his lap and summoning the hairbrush. The audience screamed at an ear-splitting pitch, earning Alastor a hard swat. The audience backed down, babbling and crying in an indistinguishable mess
“That’s not right! That’s not right! Why aren’t YOU sorry?!” The audience cried out
“Because you hit me.” Lucifer said simply, “You’ve never had the gall to strike me before. What were you thinking?”
The audience dissolved into loud crying, and Lucifer felt Alastor’s shoulders shake as he started to cry too. Lucifer sighed, giving Alastor 3 more strikes. There. Now they matched. He got Alastor up off the bed, pointing to a corner, “Go stand.”
“NO!” The audience bawled, “DON’T WANT TO!”
“Go stand, then we’re chatting.” Lucifer said, gently steering Alastor over to it
“HATE YOU! HATE YOU, HATE YOU!”
“Shhhh.” Lucifer said, fully putting Alastor into the corner, “You’ll make yourself sick, Lamb. I’ll come get you in a few minutes.”
Lucifer stepped away, the audience howling and crying out when he did. He sat down on his bed, waiting patiently
The audience screamed and cried itself out, throwing a verbal tantrum as it was backed by the sounds of shattering glass and splintering wood. After nearly five minutes of the carnage, the audience suddenly stopped, hiccuping loudly. Lucifer almost spoke, but the audience beat him to it, “You never said sorry! NEVER! Awful, you were awful! It wasn’t fair! It hurt! Why aren’t you SORRY?!”
Lucifer got Alastor out of the corner, scooping him up into his arms and gently sitting him on the bed. He held Alastor’s face, looking him in his tear-clouded eyes, “I am sorry. I’m so very, very sorry, Alastor. I thought I could trust Vaggie with you all, but that was my mistake, and you had to pay for it. And I was poorly behaved too, punishing you all without the full story. This will never happen again. Never. And I’m going to make it up to you, and rebuild the trust.”
“Make up for 7 years.”
The second the audience says that, they go silent, Alastor looking shocked
“…okay. I’ll make up for my absence.” Lucifer says, so softly that it’s barely audible, “I’m sorry, fawn. I’ll be better, okay? Much better, like you all deserve.”
Alastor nods, cheeks burning
“Okay.” Lucifer says, “Why don’t you stay with me tonight? You need some serious cuddling. And sleep, don’t think I haven’t noticed you skipping out on it.”
The audience comes back, stubborn as always, “A busy mind births busy hands.”
Lucifer snaps his fingers, summoning some pajamas for Alastor, “Here. Go change.”
The audience turns pouty, booing Lucifer, “Are we not entertaining?”
“Incredibly entertaining.” Lucifer says, pulling Alastor down to kiss his forehead. “And ever so clever, my lamb. Go get changed, and we’ll cuddle.”
Alastor nods, hopping up and going into Lucifer’s bathroom, his audience chattering. Lucifer summons a tv in front of his bed, changing into pajamas himself and getting under the covers. He puts on Looney Tunes, which has Alastor’s attention the second he steps back into the room
“Hey, there he is.” Lucifer says warmly, opening his arms up and gently tugging Alastor into bed. He stumbles badly, obviously still drunk, so Lucifer practically picks him up into it, settling Alastor down into his chest. Alastor makes a surprised sound, but burrows into it, obviously pleased. Lucifer starts up the cartoons on a low volume, feeling Alastor’s body slowly relax into his
“Pet.” The audience demands, and Lucifer obeys with a chuckle, scratching behind Alastor’s ears. He can’t really see the tv over them, but he’d trade tv as a whole to see Alastor’s ears flicker happily from all the attention. “More.”
“Can I hear a please?” Lucifer asked
“No. More.” The audience demanded again
“Behave yourself.”
As if on cue, Alastor’s bottom lip wobbled ever so slightly. It did Lucifer in completely, with Lucifer cooing and rubbing at Alastor’s back, scratching behind his ears. Alastor drank it in, humming. Lucifer was startled to hear his voice, then relaxed. Good, the alcohol was beginning to fade out of his system. Lucifer pet Alastor, keeping him close as he felt Alastor start to fade into sleep
“Lucifer?” Alastor asked, a slightly pleading tone gracing his voice, “Tomorrow is my day, right? This doesn’t count?”
“Of course, fawn.” Lucifer cooed, “I’d never be so cruel as to take away your day.”
“Okay. Good. Thank you.” Alastor said softly
Lucifer melted into a puddle. “You’re welcome, Sweetheart. Get some rest, okay?”
“‘Kay…” Alastor mumbled, nuzzling into Lucifer’s chest and closing his eyes
Lucifer rubbed his back as Alastor’s breathing evened out. God, Hell was going to be on a silver platter for Alastor tomorrow. He feels horrible that Alastor was hurting so badly. Note to self, apologize in a group, spoil separately…thank the lord for the audience though, honest as they were. They seemed to be asleep too, but Lucifer pressed a kiss to Alastor’s forehead, just in case any part of his conscience was awake to receive it
Nothing. Lucifer sighed in relief
The battle had been won
Notes:
AH we're almost at 100 comments!! (I know it's at 182, but half of those are my replies, hehe!) I can't believe how sweet y'all are, thank you so much!! Super excited to read the comments for this chapter!!
Chapter 23: The Hungover Audience
Summary:
Alastor reflects on what he knows about Lucifer's past, Lucifer helps Alastor recover from his hangover, and Alastor starts planning his day with Lucifer
Notes:
Wowowowow some stuff about Lucifer's past!! Not accurate to the Bible, but this is fanfiction, there are no rules! AND a bit of exploration into the audience! Enjoy, my friends! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
In the morning, Lucifer is woken by a persistent squirming against him. He huffs, hugging Alastor to his chest tighter, eliciting a huffy sort of whine from Alastor
“Your majesty, I need to go make breakfast.”
“I’ll make breakfast.” Lucifer mumbles, nuzzling into Alastor’s soft hair and ears
“Then get up. Do you want Charlie to starve?”
Lucifer sighs dramatically, “Oh, no, not my little girl…what time is it? She's not an early riser.”
“It’s 6. Charlie will be downstairs at 8 so she can be finished with breakfast and begin her exercises by 8:30.” Alastor states dryly
“Such an attentive lamb.” Lucifer purrs, kissing one of Alastor’s tiny antlers. It’s only when he feels him shift that he realizes that Alastor is still cuddled up to him too, his arms at the small of Lucifer’s back, “You’re just trying to get me up early to start your special day.”
Alastor burrows into Lucifer’s chest, “Don't be ridiculous.”
“Oh? Am I wrong? Well, we can spend all day cuddling in bed then-“
“The King of Hell wants to lay about all day?! Oh, get up!” Alastor hisses, sitting up in bed
Lucifer wraps his arms around Alastor’s waist, keeping him put, “The King of Hell can do as he pleases.”
“Feed your daughter, Lucifer!” Alastor spat, picking up a pillow and hitting Lucifer with it
Lucifer smiles at Alastor using his name. It seems he’d fallen out of Alastor’s favor when ‘your majesty’ was all he’d be called. Alastor had barely even called him that when he first came into the flock. That was a long time ago, Lucifer hadn’t thought about that in a while…
“Get up!” Alastor huffs, hitting Lucifer with the pillow again
“Alright, alright! You torture me, Fawn, you really do!” Lucifer sighs dramatically, letting Alastor go and getting out of bed. He can practically hear Alastor roll his eyes, and Lucifer pulls off his pajama shirt, hunting around for a clean button-up. Alastor watches him in amusement. Just as Lucifer had seen him undressed, Alastor had seen him undressed just as much. The king wasn’t shy about his body, and sometimes would wander through his mansion without a shirt, hunting for one in the laundry room
Alastor stared at the scars on Lucifer’s back, old and healed over, but still stark against Lucifer’s pale skin. He’d never directly asked Lucifer about his wings, but through whispers in the mansion and drinking with some of the oldest lambs, he had a very loose understanding of them
That when it was decided for Lucifer to be cast out of Heaven, God had ordered for Lucifer’s brother Micheal to cut his wings off. Lucifer, his lover Lilith and his army of angels, later made into the first lambs, had fallen to Hell, wingless and bleeding into the dirt. It was thought impossible for the wings to reappear, until the birth of Charlie
Apparently, at her first cry of life, Lucifer’s wings reformed, snaking out of his back. Where they’d been red and sharp as blades before, they were now as golden and soft as his newborn daughter’s hair. His love was so great for Charlie that he’d reconnected with the angelic origins in his soul. So great that he’d changed. It’s said that Lucifer was softer after that. No longer angry at God. Just focused on making Hell the best home it could be for his princess
His regular form was wingless and scarred, Lucifer choosing that form to move more easily and conserve his power. But in serious situations that called for something closer to his “true form” (A rumor, as far as Alastor knew), his wings would sprout from his back, a warning not to push his buttons further
Alastor shook his train of thought off as Lucifer dressed, taking his own pajamas off and getting dressed for the day. Once they’re both ready, they head downstairs, Alastor humming along to a song his radio has on for him
“So! What will you be making for breakfast, your majesty?” Alastor asks, heading to the table, eager to judge whatever Lucifer chose
“Crepes au chocolat.” Lucifer replies, grinning sharkishly when Alastor’s audience cheers loudly
“…acceptable.” Alastor says among the cheers
Lucifer smiles, putting his apron on and starting on his batter. Making food from Alastor’s home was the way to his heart, and not even Alastor could hide that fact
Alastor sat at the table, squeaking and getting right back up when his sore ass protested, his radio crackling, “What the…”
“Ah, that. You struck me when you were drunk last night. So I gave you a light correction.” Lucifer chirps
“…I…I struck you?”
“Yes you did.”
“…and I lived?”
Lucifer laughs sharply, “I went easy on you, I will admit. You were too drunk to talk, actually. I talked to the audience most of the night.”
Alastor’s face flushes. He summons his microphone and turns away from Lucifer, “What did you all do?!”
The audience crackles and groans lowly, “Don’t remember…birds and kittens?”
Lucifer is behind Alastor in an instant, “Are they hungover?”
“They’re fine.” Alastor huffs
Lucifer narrowed his eyes, considering his options. Alastor’s audience was a direct connection to him, and he spoke to them through the microphone. If the audience was hungover, Alastor was too, and just trying to hide it. That wouldn’t do. Lucifer grabbed Alastor’s microphone, pulling it towards himself
“DON’T TOUCH!” The audience shrieked, and Alastor flinched, his ears pinning back from the noise
“Shhhhh. Are you hungover? Are you hurting? Alastor wouldn’t ever admit it. Would you?” Lucifer asks sweetly, batting away Alastor’s hand trying to pry the microphone away from him
“Not drunk anymore. Not on your side.” The audience spat, then started playing a jazzy tune, relaxing Alastor and bringing his ears back up
“Grumpy.” Lucifer tsked, letting the microphone go and going over to a cabinet. He shook a bottle of aspirin, retrieving two pills and a glass of water. He put both in front of Alastor, “Here. Take those.”
“I’m fine, your maj-“
“That's an order.” Lucifer says, crossing his arms and giving Alastor a stern look
The audience hissed, but Alastor shushed them, taking the pills and throwing them back with the water
“They aren’t happy with me.” Lucifer said, tilting his head curiously, “Is something the matter?”
“No. Your batter is going to separate.” Alastor said, waving Lucifer off. Lucifer raised an eyebrow, but went back to breakfast. When Lucifer was gone, Alastor turned back to his microphone, practically whispering into it, “Behave yourselves.”
“In pain.” The audience hissed
“I am too! Endure it! You’re adults!” Alastor snarled, “And quit talking to Lucifer! He’s the boss, not your punching bag!”
“In. Pain.”
“The pills will kick in, just-“
“Drink water.” The audience demanded
“Hush up!”
“WATER!” The audience wailed, getting Lucifer’s attention across the room.
Lucifer gave him a puzzled look, “What’s the matter with them?”
“They’re brats.” Alastor snapped, finishing his glass of water. The audience cried out again, sounding genuinely upset
“Hey, now.” Lucifer said softly, walking over to Alastor and brushing his hair back, “They were very helpful last night. They’re so good to you, playing music for you, helping you express yourself. And they’re letting me know now that you’re hungover. Perhaps you require more…attention? Did you want to stay in bed?”
“Please,” Alastor sneered, moving away from Lucifer, “I have responsibilities, your majesty.”
The audience let out a ding, Lucifer looking over to see his first crepe is ready on the stove
“Thank you, lovelies.” Lucifer says brightly, going back to tend to it
“Talk to him without my permission again, and I’ll beat every single one of you!” Alastor snarled, “You are mine! Do what I want you to do, or else!”
“It’s nice to be appreciated.” The audience replies with a huff
“Who says I don’t-?! God, you’re dramatic! What do you want?!”
“Broadcast.” They reply eagerly
Alastor brightened at that. Hey, that was a good point…Lucifer was at his mercy today…what if Alastor could get a radio tower attached to the hotel? A nice one too, with a full sound-board…maybe he could even get some new clips from it for the audience to use?
The audience was tricky with how it used sounds. The human voice was easy, after all, it had dozens to choose from from the demons that made up the audience. Any other sounds though, such as the ‘ding’ the audience loved so much, had to be found and added to Alastor’s soundboard in his radio station for them to be able to use it. That ding came from one of many abandoned stations that Alastor had discovered and pilfered through in his younger years. From some cooking segment, most likely. But with Lucifer at his fingertips…the audience could be spoiled too. He had an entire day. He could afford it
The audience laughs, delighted as they realign with Alastor, the throb in Alastor’s head fading and his thoughts clearing up as the pills finally kick in. Ahhh, that’s why they were in such a mood. Alastor’s mind in a fog made the audience antsy. In strange moments where Alastor felt close to losing it, the audience could be quite feral. Now, though, their wishes expressed and pain fading, they put on a song for Alastor as he puts his microphone away
Lucifer looks back at Alastor, “Feeling better?”
“Mm. Yes.” Alastor hums, tilting his head back and letting his eyes close
“What did they want?”
Alastor sighed, waving his hand dismissively, eyes still closed, “To work.”
“None of that today.”
Alastor smiled softly as his radio crackled softly, “No, your majesty, none of that.”
Notes:
Wahhh you guys are so sweet!! I was so excited to read the response to last chapter, I'm so excited that everyone is loving my decision to make him autistic!! :'3 Truly it warms my autistic lil heart to add representation into the world! ALSO WE'RE ALMOST AT 100 KUDOS?? WHATTT THAT'S CRAZY!! AND ALMOST 100 COMMENTS?? AND 2,500+ HITS?? CRAZYYYY THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE!! A SPECIAL FOREHEAD KISS FOR ALL!! >:3
Chapter 24: The Hounds of The Bayou (READ AUTHOR'S NOTE!)
Summary:
Lucifer enters Alastor's mind
Notes:
Okay folks! This chapter contains violence, blood, gore, implied death, animal attacks, animal abuse, etc! If you're uncomfortable reading this chapter, you can find a summary of the chapter at the end for any important bits you need to know for the story moving forward! Also, please let me know if I missed any tags or warnings! Stay safe my friends! On a lighter note, WE HIT 100 KUDOS AND 100 COMMENTS!! ABSOLUTELY INSANEEEE! Here's this chapter early to celebrate! Enjoy my friends!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
By the time everyone is sitting down to breakfast, Alastor has a plan to squeeze every precious minute of this day out of Lucifer. Breakfast goes smoothly, with Angel nudging Alastor and quietly asking what his plans are, then giggling when Alastor just gives him a big grin instead of an answer. The second he knows he can get away with it, Alastor grabs Lucifer up and drags him off, practically carrying him
“Oh-? Oh! Bye, Charlie! We’re off!” Lucifer calls over his shoulder, then catches up to Alastor. They head upstairs, into Alastor’s room, and stop at the edge of the room
“I want a bayou.” Alastor says eagerly, “Like a pocket dimension.”
“Couldn’t you do that?” Lucifer asks, already summoning his sculpting equipment
“Well…yes! But you could do it better. You could make it as big as I wanted! With bugs and animals and-! A proper bayou. I want a proper bayou. Like home.”
Ohhhhh Lucifer was gonna meltttt, “Fine, fine, you got it. Draw me a blueprint.”
“I wouldn’t be able to get it right.” Alastor says, arms folded behind his back neatly as he rocks back and forth on his heels, “Why don’t you just take it from my memories?”
“…how do you know I can do that?” Lucifer asks, tilting his head curiously
“Is it a secret?”
“Not necessarily.”
“Nifty.”
“Ahhhh, I see. Well, then let me explain what I can do.” Lucifer says, “What I do isn’t taking from your memories. I enter your mind, find what I need, and take…mm…photos! Similar enough, at least…but, there’s a catch. I’ll be in that memory, so if your subconscious notices in me in there, we’ll interact. There’s no hiding feelings, or intentions, it’s your mind, bared to me. That requires…trust.”
“Can’t you just avoid me?”
“I can try, but it’s likely that you’ll seek me out.” Lucifer says, “Especially you, you're a curious soul.”
“Mm, true…” Alastor mumbles, taking his chin in his fingers, considering it, “…you’ve done this before?”
“Many times.”
“Will I remember what happens in there?”
“It’s sort of like…a very faint memory. Something you can’t quite grasp.”
“…will you use what’s in there against me?” Alastor asks, his ears pinning back instinctively
“Swear I won’t.”
“…fine, do it.”
-
Lucifer got Alastor in bed, as relaxed as possible, and used his magic to lull Alastor to sleep. Alastor fought it, his eyes fluttering and legs jerking, but eventually had to give in, going under. Once he was out, Lucifer sat next to him, pressing his fingertips to Alastor’s forehead. He shut his eyes, willing himself past the defenses Alastor’s mind immediately threw up. Luckily, Lucifer was practiced, slipping through the cracks and getting into Alastor’s mind
-
The first thing Lucifer hears are the screams of hounds, and he smells blood sticking to the thick air of the bayou. When his eyes adjust to the dark, sticky heat of the bayou, he can see wisps of blood trailing down the water, fish eagerly lapping it up. There’s a patch of trees nearby with a streak of deep, old looking blood splattered against it. It’s huge, as if a large animal had been thrown there and then dragged off…
What on earth is happening here…?
Lucifer trudges through the murky, blood fed water, his shoes filling with mud. He gets through a grove of trees, following the blood in the water, watching as the trees got bloodier, dried gore sticking to them. The dogs are getting louder too, and there are…pieces scattered around. Something white, like bone…?
Oh, Jesus…
It’s pieces of antlers.
Lucifer swallows his feeling of rising dread and trudges through, until he hits a clearing
There, surrounded in a ring of gore coated trees, drowning in red water, was Alastor. He was fighting off a pack of dogs, who were ripping him apart. Chunks of skin and muscle were flying, hitting the water with a loud splash. Alastor’s throat was long since torn out, his vocal cords strewn out over his fluffy chest. He wasn’t human, but not demon either. His skin was pale from the bloodloss, stained in his own death, and his deer ears…well…they had been there…Jesus Christ, Alastor was fighting these dogs off completely deaf and mute.
Lucifer chokes back the urge to vomit, grabbing a tree branch and ripping it from its rotting base. Alastor’s blood, slick and hot with fading life, coats his hands. He runs at the dogs, “HEY! GET OUT OF HERE! GET!”
Alastor looks at him in disbelief, shocked at his presence
3 of the 4 dogs crowded around Lucifer, snarling, while one dog grabs Alastor by the back of the neck and drags him further into the bayou
“GET OUT OF HERE!” Lucifer shrieks at the dogs, and they lunge at him. They bite. Lucifer can feel it. Lucifer swings the branch, taking down one of the dogs, but it gets up immediately. Shit…these dogs were too powerful in Alastor’s mind…undefeatable. They were death itself. Lucifer tries to push forward, desperately tries to get to Alastor, but the dogs bite and the mud drags him down…
Lucifer doesn’t want to, feels sick at the reality…
But he has to flee. Lucifer tries to move to another memory, but can’t go anywhere. He tries to get to Alastor’s childhood, but is stuck in the mud with these damn dogs-
…
He can’t do anything here…
Lucifer has to leave Alastor’s mind…
-
When Lucifer wakes up, his chest is heaving and he’s sweating, the heat of the bayou sticking to him. Alastor wakes up soon after, rubbing his eyes
“That felt quick…did you get what you-…” Alastor looks at Lucifer, his face falling, “Your majesty?”
Lucifer grips his chest, holy fuck, he’s having a panic attack- he can’t get it out of his head. The pain, the blood, his lamb being eaten…
“Your majesty? Shit-“ Alastor gets up, leaving the room quickly
The next thing Lucifer is aware of is Charlie running in, tilting his head up to look in his cloudy eyes. She shouts something over her shoulder, and Vaggie is there, a cold cloth against his forehead, another on the back of his neck. It helps the heat, as does his shirt being peeled off of him, it’s soaked in sweat- he can’t see, his vision dark and staticy, oh god he’s going to pass out-
Then, he hears it
A soft, jazzy little tune. It wraps around his ear, soothing the burn in Lucifer’s mind. It’s something to focus on, so Lucifer does, the itch in his body slowly subsiding as the song rises and falls. The woman singing in the song…where has he heard her before? He’s getting a sick feeling of deja-vu…
“Alastor.” He croaks
Charlie nods, shouting something back at the doorway. Alastor approaches, gripping his microphone, his ears pinned back like he’s done something wrong. His shadow is behind him, hiding behind him like a frightened child
The second he’s in Lucifer’s reach, Lucifer grabs at him, yanking Alastor in and burying himself into Alastor’s chest. His solid, ungored chest. It’s too much, Lucifer can’t take it-
He sobs. He sobs. He can feel Alastor stiffen against him, the buzz of questions in the air. Alastor shudders, then brings his hand up, resting it on Lucifer’s head, stroking Lucifer’s hair. Can he speak? Lucifer needs him to speak. He needs it, please, he needs it-
“Alastor.” Is all he can whisper
“Lucifer?” Alastor mumbles, his voice soft and stitched with worry
Lucifer says nothing more, crumbling in relief. His lamb can speak. He’s okay, he’s safe… Lucifer’s chest feels lighter, then a fierce protectiveness is sparked. If anyone even tries to lay a finger on his lamb-! Oh, Lucifer will rip their very soul apart-!
He gathers himself, drying his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He rubs Alastor’s back, his voice creaky when he speaks, “Tell me you don’t remember…”
“Remember what? What did you see?” Alastor asks, looking genuinely concerned for Lucifer
Oh thank god he can’t remember…but it was there…Lucifer couldn’t move on…
Alastor is always in that torment…his brain is on fire…
Lucifer rubs his cheek against Alastor like a cat. What can he do? How can he get Alastor away from those dogs? How can he help? Is this why Alastor doesn’t sleep? Can never rest? Lucifer is devastated…his poor lamb…
“Lucifer, what was there?” Alastor asks, his voice quivering with uncertainty
“…I couldn’t get what you wanted. I’m sorry.” Lucifer whispers, “I’ll try again another time.”
“Okay…? Lucifer-“
“Let’s not discuss it.”
“But-“
Lucifer lets Alastor go, standing up on shaky legs, “Come along. Let’s put your day to use. What else can I offer you?”
“Dad…?” Charlie whispers, hovering nervously near them
“Dad’s fine. Just a bit shaken up.” Lucifer mumbles, taking her face in his hands and kissing her forehead, “I’ll bounce back quick, you know I will.”
“Are you sure…?” Charlie sighs, then looks up at Alastor, “Don’t leave his side. Please.”
“Of course, my dear.” Alastor says, his voice surprisingly soft. He takes Lucifer to the left-most corner of the room, “I was thinking…a radio tower? If you could…handle that?”
“Of course.” Lucifer says, and summons his sculpting equipment, “Have Nifty help you draw up a blueprint.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
Notes:
Chapter summary: Lucifer enters Alastor's mind and discovers that Alastor is constantly being subconsciously attacked by dogs and nearly killed. Lucifer tries to help Alastor or enter another part of his mind, but Alastor and himself are both "stuck" in this place with the dogs, so Lucifer has to exit his mind. Once out, he has a panic attack and grounds himself in Alastor and his audience. Weird, why does he feel like he knows the song the audience is playing? Strange! Lucifer decides to move on and begin work on Alastor's radio tower instead, wondering how he can help Alastor's mind escape the dogs. Alastor has no idea what Lucifer saw in his mind and is confused and worried about it. The chapter ends with Lucifer telling Alastor and Nifty to draw up a blueprint
Author yappery: Y'know, this is actually the second time I've written a dog attack scene that happens in someone's mind. Originally, this chapter was written yesterday with a COMPLETELY different scene in Alastor's mind, then today when I read it over, I realized it made like, NO sense for Alastor's mind to be calm and normal and chill, so I saved that original ending for later and wrote this instead! Whiplash, amiright? Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this one! :)
Chapter 25: The Radio Tower
Summary:
Lucifer gives Alastor his radio tower
Notes:
Surprise extra chapter today for the hundreds we hit! :3 I wasn't sure if I was going to finish this, but I sure did! >:3 Enjoy, my friends!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The blueprint only takes around an hour or so, Lucifer nursing a hot cup of tea while he waits. When the heat of the bayou had finally released him, he was left with a bitter cold in his bones. The tea was helping, as was keeping Alastor at a literal arm’s length. He couldn’t lose sight or sound of him for a moment without panicking, worried somehow that a dog would get after him (Nonsensical, he knows, but he can’t help it)
The audience and Alastor’s shadow seem to know what Lucifer needs, with the audience keeping the music flowing and Alastor’s shadow staying on walls within Lucifer’s eyeline, occasionally doing a little dance to the music. Lucifer doesn’t know how Alastor’s aflame mind can keep so many things- no, separate beings- running, but he makes it look effortless, his focus seemingly completely absorbed by he and Nifty’s blueprint
And when it's done, the audience cheers, Alastor’s shadow clapping excitedly. Alastor brings it to Lucifer eagerly, and seeing the genuine excitement in Alastor’s smile makes Lucifer forget what’s truly happening behind it for a moment. He begins his work diligently, hoping to take his mind off his poor lamb’s suffering one
-
Alastor’s room is extended out to make space for the bayou, ‘Whenever you can figure it out’ (Which was said with a GREAT deal of sass), with a staircase carved out at the back, which takes Alastor up and out to his radio tower, which was now attached to the side of the Hotel. The tower resembles a deer stand (Which Alastor insisted on. Little weirdo), black and red with a neon red ‘ON THE AIR’ sign that Alastor can turn on and off from inside the tower.
The inside of the tower has dark redwood flooring, with the half-walls being paneled in it as well. The other half of the wall is all window, where Alastor can look out for miles in Hell. There are some potted cat-tails around, a white antler coat-rack (Lucifer feels sick looking at it), and a large red couch with a matching ottoman, a dark redwood coffee table in front of it. A table by the wall has a coffee maker and a little station for sugar and syrups. A minifridge underneath the table holds jugs of blood and milk (Not that Alastor would ever admit to adding either to his coffee, but Lucifer knows him better than that). There’s a writing desk full of red stationary and paper, and, the crown jewel of course, the recording station
The recording station is massive, with more switches and dials and audio doo-hickeys than Lucifer knows what to do with. He gives Alastor an entire tub of audio clips burned onto cartridges, which he’s currently picking over and playing with like a child in a candy store. Lucifer swears his eyes are glittering. It brings Lucifer such relief, hoping that for just a moment…the dogs can’t reach him…
“So, Alastor, what’s next?” Alastor doesn’t tear his eyes away from the cartridges. Lucifer feels his skin itch, but takes a breath. This is Alastor’s day, they’ll do what Alastor wants. He takes a seat next to Alastor, tapping the cartridge case, “Can I look at these too?”
Alastor doesn’t respond, but his audience does, “Sure, Doc!”
“Thank you, lovelies.” Lucifer says, taking a cartridge and flipping it over. The cartridges are old, with smudgy handwriting over a piece of yellowed tape the only marker for many of them. The one Lucifer has says, ‘bu…m...be…’, “…hm. Give it a try, huh, lovelies? Get you some new sounds?”
“Yes indeedy!” The audience says, and Alastor takes the cartridge, popping it into a slot, turning a few dials and sitting back
The sound is a crowd of bumblebees buzzing together happily. Alastor looks surprised, then goes back to the tub, “Take that on.”
The audience cheers loudly, falls into silence for a moment, then begins to buzz. Lucifer laughs, eagerly picking up another cartridge, ‘ho…ces…’
Alastor takes it, loads it in, and looks pleasantly surprised at the sound of a horse race. “Take it.”
The audience laughs happily, then copies the sound. Lucifer grabs another cartridge, ‘bay…gs…’
Alastor takes it and loads it in. This one takes a moment to start, with the loud sounds of crickets starting the clip, “Ah, lovely. Ta-“
Suddenly, a group of hounds starts to bark, baying loudly. Alastor’s eyes go wide, and nearly in sync, he and Lucifer both clap their hands over their ears. Alastor begins to shake, and Lucifer shuts off the clip, throwing the cartridge across the room. When it’s over, Lucifer uncovers his ears and kneels down in front of Alastor, coaxing his shivering lamb into his arms, “Oh, there, there…”
Alastor keeps his hands at his ears, but hides his face in Lucifer’s arms, shaking like a leaf. Lucifer decides to burn that cartridge, how dare it bring Alastor back to that awful place…
“It’s alright. You’re safe here.” Lucifer coos, doing his best to envelop Alastor’s body with his own without spooking him. He rubs Alastor’s back, avoiding his ears. Hm…he needed to do some reading…see what he could do for Alastor…
Alastor took a few breaths, slowly calming down, keeping his hands firmly at his ears. Lucifer watched, mentally jotting down an idea for later, keeping his hands down at Alastor’s back. When Alastor moved his hands away from his ears, it was with quivering hands, “…it’s gone?”
“It’s gone, Darling Deer.” Lucifer says softly, “I’d never let anything get after you.”
Except he had…he had…
“Mm…so…you saw them.”
“Saw who?” Lucifer asked innocently
“The…dogs. When you went into my mind, you saw the dogs…” Alastor whispered
“What gives you that idea?” Lucifer asks, rubbing little circles into Alastor’s back
“Because I know you aren’t afraid of them. You have books on them. But just now…you were scared.” Alastor says softly, not meeting Lucifer’s eyes, “That’s what was in my mind. Them.”
“…yes. They were there.” Lucifer mumbles, bowing his head in shame, “And I couldn’t…do anything.”
“Well. Not like I can either.”
“No- when you joined the lambs, I swore to protect you, and I didn’t.”
Alastor meets his eyes, giving him a puzzled look, “Your majesty, that’s my mind. You can’t protect me from that.”
“I’ll find a way.” Lucifer says, meeting his eyes back
Alastor snorts, tilting his head curiously, “…alright, your majesty. Whatever pleases you.”
“Matter of fact, I have one idea.”
“Oh?”
-
Lucifer’s idea involves measuring Alastor’s ears inside and out, getting every angle of them. Alastor watches Lucifer work, amused as he builds Alastor a pair of headphones
Lucifer holds up the finished product, a pair of…huh, they’re sort of weird.
“What is that?” Alastor asks
“Ear-inserts! I figured headphones would be too heavy since your ears aren’t on the sides of your head. So, I made inserts for you!” Lucifer holds them up, showing Alastor the little black and red inserts, “And, I color matched them! So nobody will know when you have them in! Pretty neat, huh?”
Alastor took them, looking at the eager look on Lucifer’s face with a small smile. Lucifer, frankly, was quite endearing when he invented something he was proud of. Alastor popped an insert in, his ear flickering from the strange sensation
“I added something else, too! Your audience should, in theory, be able to take that over and play music for you! Your own private music! Neat, huh?”
“Really?” Alastor asked, fiddling with the insert until something clicked
“Requests?” The audience purred into his ear
Alastor chuckled, “Something upbeat.”
“Got just the thing.” Sure enough, the music was right in Alastor’s ear instead of buried under distance and layers of fluff and fur. And, for the first time ever…Alastor can't hear the buzzing of the air conditioning, or the water flowing through the pipes, or floorboards creaking
It was just the noise that he wanted
Wow…
Notes:
The moment at the end where Alastor gets his ear-inserts is so near and dear to me as someone who basically lives in their AirPods to deal with the amount of noise in the world. Spotify knows me deeply, haha! I'm super thrilled to have shown a scene of someone getting their first accommodating item as an autistic author, and I hope y'all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)
Chapter 26: The Flat-Faced Prince
Summary:
Alastor makes his first broadcast, Vox takes notice
Notes:
WE'RE FINALLY AT EPISODE 2! I'M EXCITEDDDD! ENJOY MY FRIENDS!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor was at his writing desk, scribbling away while Lucifer enjoyed a cup of coffee curled up on the couch. Alastor’s inserts, which Lucifer had built a carrying case for, sat on the coffee table. Soft jazz played around them, Lucifer enjoying a moment of peace with his lamb. Ah, this was nice…
“There! It’s ready! My first broadcast from the esteemed Hazbin Hotel!” Alastor says, standing up and walking his new script over to the recording station
“How exciting, Lamb!” Lucifer says cheerfully, “Would you mind if I stayed here for it?”
“That’d be fine. You’re quiet enough.” Alastor says, taking a seat and plugging in a small desktop microphone Lucifer made for him, “If you need me to stop, wave at me. If you talk, I have to disclose that you’re here.” He turned away from Lucifer, tapping the mic, “And imagine what the papers would say about that!” He rolled his eyes, turning back to Lucifer, “Actually…I ought to check if that unfortunate little worm has released anything new on me…”
“You’re still fighting with that tv demon?” Lucifer asks, sipping his coffee
“Viciously.” Alastor says simply, “I got the final word last week. He’ll be desperate to lash out by now.” Alastor’s shadow goes to him and Alastor waves him off, “Go get a paper.”
The shadow disappears, coming back a few moments later with a paper. Alastor flips through it, looking bored. His eyebrows quip up, “New spyware. Nothing about me. Good. I’ll leave the little man alone today.”
Alastor picks up his script, clearing his throat. Lucifer settles in with his coffee, eager to hear Alastor’s broadcast
“Salutations, Sinners! Good to be back on the air!” Alastor began, “I apologize for my absence, dear listeners, I’ve been working the muscles of my career! I’m now aiding in some fine work down at The Hazbin Hotel! You might’ve heard of it!”
Lucifer smiled into his coffee. He liked seeing Alastor in his element, all confidence and enthusiasm. No fear, no hard edges. The radio was his truest love. Hm, the way to his peace…
“Headed by The Princess of Hell, Charlotte Morningstar, The Hazbin Hotel is a continuation of her father’s impassioned redemption work! They’ve taken their proposals to Heaven, and while they are our best, Heaven still scoffed at them! Our next extermination is in 6 months!”
Alastor was very straight forward about things, at times even brutally honest. He wasn’t like the tv stars and reporters that danced around things or let their fear splatter all over the set, he got to the point
“Citizens are rushing to sell their souls in order to build bunkers and the like. Hell is in such a rush, such a panic. Dearest listeners, if you wish for a more long term solution, consider coming to The Crown’s hotel! You could be the proof of redemption Heaven is snapping at us for! We have a potential for investment, unlike those peddlers of smut and technology, not that I’m naming names!” Alastor said with a cheeky little grin, “Now, let’s go to territory updates!”
Lucifer makes a note to praise his lamb for that later. He didn’t ask, but Alastor still delivered. Such a good boy.
“It seems that Rosie, darling overlord of Cannibal Town, has secured 2 new acres of town space! What a go-getter! Meanwhile, we’re starting to see some up and coming territory takers! Most noteably-“
BOOM!
Alastor didn’t pause, his reporting skills sharpened to perfection. His shadow went to the window, then looked back at Alastor and nodded, “Cherri Bomb, the ever so firey bombs expert, is currently engaged in battle with her longtime rival, Sir Pentious, who is of little note and status. It seems the two are fighting over what little remains of Sir Pentious’ unimpressive territory. If he loses this, will he be forced to give up his soul? Perhaps even to Cherri Bomb? Wouldn’t that be a grand end to their rivalry? Haha! Well, dear listeners, that's all from me for now! Here’s a little number from the jazz club!”
Alastor turned off his microphone, giving Lucifer a, ‘you can talk’ thumbs up.
Lucifer got up, taking Alastor’s face in his hands and kissing his forehead, “Thank you for advertising the hotel, dearest.”
“Of course. What good is fixing this hotel if there are no guests to appreciate it?” Alastor says
“Mm. Indeed. You were quite nervy, though, using our services to put the V’s down…”
“I don’t think it’s possible to put down something that’s already buried under droppings, your majesty.”
Lucifer chuckled, “Alright, alright. Just be careful, okay? The V’s can be pretty vicious.”
“Please. They’re as frightening as a child throwing a tantrum.”
-
“VALENTINOOOOO!”
Valentino looked up from his phone. In front of him, his actors pause their scene, looking up at Velvette, who storms into the studio
“What’s wrong, Chica?” Valentino purrs
“Your little flat faced prince is up in his tower throwing a tantrum!” Velvette snarled, “He’s making my cameras go on the fritz, how am I supposed to film a show in these conditions?!”
Valentino sighed, getting up from his chair and looking at his director, “Keep things running. I’ll be back in an hour.”
“You got it, Val.” The director said with a smirk
Valentino joined Velvette in the hall, walking to the elevator with her, “And what’s wrong with our favorite tv head now?”
“The radio demon talked shit on his stupid little podcast again. Apparently, he's staying with the princess in her hotel and singing its praises.”
“Well, what do we care if Lucifer’s little songbird is working at the hotel?” Valentino asked, hitting the button in the elevator to get to Vox’s tower
Velvette rolled her eyes, texting someone on her phone, “You know Vox…power, status…keeping the radio demon under his boot…or…whatever he was prattling on about before I left to tag you in…” She stayed in the elevator when they reached Vox’s tower, “He's exhausted me…I’m going to go take a nap. I need my beauty sleep.”
“Of course, Chica. Dinner later?” Valentino asked, stepping out of the elevator
“Deal. Good luck with all…that.” Velvette says as the elevator door closes
“Mm…I’m going to need it…” Valentino mumbles to himself, straightening his clothes and heading to Vox’s door. Two robots similar to his own, Kitty, open the doors for him, bowing their heads respectfully. Val gives them a nod, heading into the tower, “Voxxyyy, it’s meeee-!” He ducks quickly, just barely avoiding being struck by a shot glass
Vox scoffs when he doesn’t make his mark, going back to watching his cameras, “Fucking finally, where have you been?”
“Filming, baby! Why didn’t you just call me if you wanted me?” Valentino asked, coming into Vox’s tower
Vox’s tower was blue and black, with wires running everywhere, even into the tv demon’s head on occasion. Luckily, the wires were off to the side. Good, he could salvage this little fit then
“Because that STUPID FUCK ALASTOR IS ON HIS SHITTY LITTLE RADIO SHOW AGAIN!” Vox screamed, throwing a bottle of Jack near a radio. Ugh, why did he still have that thing? It was ancient…, “Lucifer’s little SNOT is running a hotel, and Alastor is there with her! What if they make a deal?! Then he’ll be UNTOUCHABLE!” He gets up, storming over to a closet of weapons. He picked up a black crossbow, brushing the dust off of it, “I can’t let that happen…!”
“…what are you doing?” Valentino asked sweetly, pulling out his cigarette holder, loading it up and lighting it. He took a drag, blowing some smoke in the air as a precaution, “You aren’t going over there, Voxxy.”
“That traitorous fuck is gonna be on his knees, begging me to take him from Lucifer-!”
Valentino stepped over, grabbing Vox by his half red, half pink collar, yanking him back, and blowing smoke right in his face. When Vox’s eyes dilate a bit, his shoulders dropping, Val speaks, “Vox. I love your enthusiasm, but Alastor doesn't just have papi diablo over his shoulder anymore. Now he’s got the princessa. What do you think the crown will do if you charge in there, trying to hurt what’s theirs?”
“Um…” Vox mumbled, his speech slurring, “Kill me…?”
“Exactly, Baby! Do you want your life’s work to go to waste?”
“N-No…”
“Exactly. And now you know where he is! He’s not going anywhere when that shabby little hotel is backed by the crown, Baby Cakes.” Valentino purred, pinching Vox’s cheek affectionately
“But…he…”
“Two options, sweet amour.” Valentino purred, “Guess what they are?”
“…do nothing?”
“Oh, so clever! What’s the other?
“…going over your knee?” Vox asked, his screen turning a bit pink around the edges
“Precisely! Which do you prefer, pequeño azul?”
“…I really wanted to shoot someone.” Vox grumbled, turning away and crossing his arms
“Awww. Why don’t you let Papi call up the lowest earners this month, precioso?” Valentino asked, putting his hands on Vox’s shoulders and bending down to nuzzle his cheek
This got him a slight smile, “You know me too well.”
“I know, amour.” Valentino purred, giving him a kiss on the cheek and heading over to his desk, flicking through his earning reports
“…y’know, Alastor isn’t the only one spending time in the crown’s shithole…”
“Oh? Who's there, Baby? Someone that owes you money?”
“Oh, even better…” Vox purred, a huge grin on his screen, “Angel Dust is there.”
Notes:
Y'all, it was a JOURNEY figuring out how to get things in line for episode 2 to make sense in the AU! It was great practice in my writing and editing abilities! I'm super thrilled to introduce new characters and dramas (And spankings, hehe), I hope y'all are ready for episode 2, this'll be FUN!! (ALSO HOW ARE WE ALMOST AT 3K VIEWS THAT'S WILDDD THANK Y'ALL!!)
Chapter 27: Desperate and Pathetic
Summary:
The V's discuss their options, Sir Pentious receives an assignment, Lucifer and Alastor make a discovery
Notes:
WOOOOO A03 IS BACK! Okay, here's the new chapter! I'm gonna post this FAST in case we go down again, so if you see errors, I WILL get to them, but my first concern is getting it up! Please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Valentino laughed, disbelief lacing it, “Angel Dust is…there? Schmoozing with Lucifer’s daughter…AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!” He grabs Vox by his collar, yanking him in to scream in his face, “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“I didn’t think you’d care, considering you just…let Angel Dust move away, what…a month ago?” Vox says, grinning in pure delight
“Oh, you-!” Valentino seethed, then let Vox go, stepping away with a sharp laugh, “What do I care?! He’s just one of my whores! So what if he’s at a hotel with the princess!? So what if he's a part of the crown’s redemption work?! It’s not as if it’ll work! And if it does and my whores hear about it, I’ll be ruined-! FUCK, VOX! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?! NOW I HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE!”
“Oh, so you want to be killed by Lucifer?” Vox asked, his eyebrows going up sharply, “Now who’s being irrational?”
“Fucking-! I’ll sort you out later! Call a meeting, and call it NOW!” Valentino barked, storming off and up to the meeting room, leaving Vox behind
Vox sighed, looking up at his cameras. They were all live, except for one that he’d paused. It showed Alastor, who he’d caught out at town, heading out from the tailor. Alastor was looking directly into the camera, which was hidden in a street lamp, no bigger than the tip of Vox’s finger. How did he always see them? He never got to see Alastor naturally, just out and about. He was always smirking, always looking right at him…
“You should’ve stayed gone, old friend.” Vox whispered, then unpaused the feed, heading off to the meeting room
-
“Alright, we have a problem.” Vox said, taking the offered drink from Kitty’s tray, “Alastor is getting close to Princess Morningstar-“
“And Angel Dust!” Valentino barked
“Yes, yes, and Angel Dust. So, our main concerns are making sure that Alastor doesn't strike a deal with the Princess, and that Angel Dust doesn’t get one with the King.”
“Why should we care what the spider is doing?” Velvette asked, her hair still in a bonnet from her short-lived nap, “He’s still under contract with Val, not like he can go anywhere.”
“Very true, but if he gets on Lucifer’s good side, Lucifer might find a way to redeem him.”
“Redemption ain’t possible, though, is it?”
“For now, let’s act as if it is.” Vox said, sipping his drink, “If Angel goes, then all the whores go, and our company takes a hit we can’t afford.”
“And how exactly are we supposed to stop that?” Velvette asks
“Put something inside them!” Valentino pipes up, “That certainly keeps my bitches occupied…”
“Hm. That’s not a bad idea. Someone on the inside…” Vox sighs, looking out the window to his sharks, “But, it can't be Angel. It would have to be someone else. Someone who the princess would take in without a second thought…”
“So someone pathetic, desperate…someone that she would feel so sorry for, she wouldn’t notice them bugging the hotel.” Velvette says, “Who do we own like that?”
“Actually, I just picked up a new little number today.” Vox said, his grin splitting his screen, “I think he’d be perfect.”
-
“You wanted to ssssee me, Ssssir…?”
Vox turned in his chair, giving Sir Pentious a big, too eager smile, swirling his drink in his glass, “Pentious! Sit, sit!”
Sir Pentious slithers in, his hat in his hands and his head bowed shyly. He sits in the chair in front of Vox’s desk, Vox’s golden business awards decorating his office nearly blinding Pentious with their shine
“How are you settling in?…you aren’t collared?” Vox asks, his smile faltering for a moment as he stared at Pentious’ bare neck
“Ah, yessss…they sssaid that with my anatomy, the fitting wouldn’t be done until tomorrow…”
“I see. And what anatomy would that be?” Vox asked, his eyes narrowing
“My hood flaresss when I get angry…” Pentious says, “Sssso they ssssaid the collar hasss to be able to ssstretch.”
“Oh!…huh, fair enough.” Vox says, “Would you like a drink? You and I will be chatting for a minute, so I recommend it.”
“Ah…yessss. Could I have a vodka sssoda?”
A robot (Vox breaks them too often to name them) gives Sir Pentious his drink almost instantly, making Pentious jump
“Gah! Oh. Thank you.” Pentious says, taking the drink
“Now, let me cut to the chase.” Vox says, tapping his fingers against his desk, his claws clicking pleasantly against the cold metal, “Are you familiar with The Radio Demon?”
“That prick? I’ve battled him, like…twenty timessss.”
“Shit. This won’t work if he knows you that well…” Vox grumbles, looking away moodily
“No, he never remembersss me.” Pentious says, sipping his drink, “He alwayssss sssays, ‘And you are?’ Asss if I’m nothing.”
“Well, you’ll be proving him wrong soon.” Vox says, looking quite pleased, “I’m sending you on a mission. Usually I’d make you work your way up from the mud…but, you’re perfect for this job. What do you say?”
“Of course, Ssssir!” Pentious says, his shoulders dropping in relief that he wouldn’t have to clean up Valentino’s…dungeon…
“Great! This is very important to Val and I. Succeed, and I think we’ll find you a role in tech creation that you’d be very happy in. Fail, and I’ll sell you.”
“…huh?”
“Or, kill you, if you’d prefer!” Vox chirps, pulling over a laptop that’s already open to a photo of The Hazbin Hotel, “Now! Here’s the job! This is The Hazbin Hotel. It was Lucifer’s redemption project for a century or so, and it’s been rotting and empty for decades. About a month ago, Lucifer’s daughter Charlotte took it over, trying to succeed where Daddy Dearest failed. With her are two targets I want you to keep an eye on and keep away from The Crown. Alastor, The Radio Demon, and Angel Dust, Val’s best star. Additionally, keep your eyes and ears open for any dirt on the targets or the crown. Simple enough, right?”
“Ah, but…”
“But?”
“I-Isssn’t The Radio Demon owned by Lucifer?” Pentious asked, shrinking back in his chair
“So?”
“S-Ssso Lucifer will…let me…keep hisss pet away from him?”
“Uh, yeah? He’s the king, what does he care?” Vox says, raising an eyebrow, “Look, let’s wrap this up. I’ll be sending you down there with very little tech. Alastor is too good at spotting it, and when he sees your collar, he’s going to be suspicious. If he finds or breaks what I give you, just act like you’ve been caught out. Build trust, relationships, then I’ll have you bug that place top to bottom. Got it?”
“Wouldn’t it be lessss sssuspicioussss if I wassssn’t collared?”
“HA! Please. I’d become a grandma’s laptop before I sent my pet out without a collar.” Vox snorted, “I’ll brief you again before you leave tomorrow. Why don’t you go pack and get some rest in the meantime?”
“Ah…yesss, Sssir. Thank you…”
“Of course! Oh, and welcome to the Vox-tech family! If you don’t die, you’ll be very happy!”
“Yay…?”
“Dismissed!”
Sir Pentious scrambled up, leaving his empty drink behind and leaving the office quickly. Vox watched him go, his head resting on his hand. Ugh…hopefully this wouldn’t go to total shit…
-
“Would it help if I was there?”
Alastor shook his head, adjusting the dials on the sound station, “Your majesty, some nights are just sleepless. I’ve accepted that.”
“But you haven’t tried.”
“I’ve been myself for a long time, your majesty. I know my cues.” Alastor mumbled
“Please? For me?”
“Your majesty. It’s a sleepless night.”
“Well, then can we cuddle?” Lucifer asked, setting his cup on the coffee table
“What’s the point of that when I won’t be able to fall asleep?”
“Get you relaxed and out of that head of yours.”
“Hm.” Alastor hummed, turning back to the dials he was fiddling with
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s a, ‘I truly don’t see the point.’”
“Well, what if we tried some cuddles and your inserts? That might really help.” Lucifer coaxes, standing up to hover over Alastor’s shoulder
Alastor sighed, tilting his head back to look at Lucifer, “Are you going to keep pestering me until you get your way?”
“My way, for your good.”
Alastor sighed, “We can cuddle on the couch. If you fall asleep, I’m getting up and working.”
“Deal.” Lucifer says, eagerly waiting for Alastor to wrap up tomorrow’s script. When he’s finished, he leads Alastor over the couch, laying down and patting his chest invitingly
Alastor sighs, flopping down without fanfare, popping his inserts in and shutting his eyes. Lucifer eagerly cards his fingers through Alastor’s hair, loosening up his curls and playing with them. He scratches behind Alastor’s ears, stopping when they don’t flicker like usual. Odd…
“Alastor?”
Alastor didn’t respond, his breathing even and deep
HE’S ASLEEP?! Oh he’s neverrrr living this down! HA! Lucifer carefully sits up, gathering Alastor up into his arms into a bridal carry and taking him downstairs to his bedroom. He gets Alastor in bed, tucking him in, intending to head back to the mansion and get some work done himself-
Until the front of his shirt is grabbed and he’s yanked into Alastor’s bed with shocking strength, Alastor curling back up to him, his breathing evening out again almost immediately
Oh…well, Lucifer settles in, happily accepting that his presence was needed here tonight
Notes:
God I love giving Alastor my own experiences, I seriously can't sleep without YouTube! THANK YOU FOR 3K HITS!! I LOVE Y'ALL!!
Edit to add: Okay, we should be set on formatting and fixes! (But catching every 's' in Pentious' lines is HARD, so excuse me if I catch more errors, haha), to celebrate 3k hits, I was thinking about opening the floor to questions about the series or the writing process behind it? :3 Or maybe I could write a bonus chapter or something that people voted on? Writing is my special interest, so I have no idea if that sounds interesting to anyone besides me, haha! Let me know down below! :3
Chapter 28
Summary:
Sir Pentious arrives at the hotel!
Notes:
Sir Pentious is hereeee woooo I'm excited!! Episode 2 has my personal favorite joke in the series, so I repeated it again here! Enjoy my friends!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
In the morning, Lucifer actually has to wake Alastor up. He’s always up first, but he’s in a deep sleep, the only response to Lucifer’s nudging being little flickers of his ears
“Alastorrrr…” Lucifer mumbles, gently nudging him, “Alastorrrrr…” he sighs, thinking to himself, “…hey, lovelies?”
“What’s up, Doc?” The audience replies
“You’re up?”
“Doing our vocal warmups!”
Huh. He’d never considered that the audience had a routine…, “Can you wake up Alastor? I really need to get back to the mansion.”
The audience booed him loudly, hissing
“Aww, I know, Lovelies. I’ll be back before you know it, okay?” Lucifer cooed, scratching behind Alastor’s ears
The audience purred, sighed, and crackled. When they did, Alastor’s eyes cracked open
Oh, he looked so cute- his eyes half-lidded, his curls askew and loose, completely unguarded-, “Wha…what…” Alastor yawned, rubbing his eyes, “What happened…?”
“You fell asleep.” Lucifer says, surprising himself with just how warm his voice sounded
“Please. I don’t sleep.” Alastor snorted, blinking slowly
“You did, Hon. You got a solid 9 hours or so.” Lucifer said, patting his back, “I’ll handle breakfast, you just get yourself up and dressed, hm?”
“No, I’m capable of handling breakfast…” Alastor muttered, yawning loudly
“Are you sure?”
“Positive…ugh, I feel drugged…”
“Probably your nervous system being shocked you actually did something for it.” Lucifer says, slightly scoldingly
“My nervous system gets what it gets.” Alastor huffs, his eyes fluttering
“Hush. Up.”
“I am up…”
“You are actively laying on top of me, Alastor.”
“‘M not…”
Lucifer laughed, shifting into a bird and getting himself out of bed, shifting back once he was back on the floor.
Once he was out, Alastor’s eyes snapped open, “…when did you get here…?”
“Okay, I’m making breakfast. See you downstairs.” Lucifer says, turning on his heel and leaving Alastor’s bedroom, chuckling to himself. He makes a pit stop at his own bedroom, getting cleaned up and dressed for the day, then leaves his door open, heading downstairs to the kitchen. He’s nearly halfway done with it before Alastor comes downstairs, cleaned up and straight-faced, “Hey, there’s my sleepy head!”
“I have no idea what you’re referring to, your majesty.” Alastor says, taking a seat at the table
Lucifer chuckles, “Fine, be that way. It can be our secret how adorable you look when you’re asleep-“
“Oh, do be quiet!” Alastor snaps, sending Lucifer into a fit of giggles
Charlie and Vaggie rush in, both looking bouncy and excited. Lucifer gives them a bright smile, “Girls! What’s all the excitement?”
“We’re going out to recruit new guests for the hotel!” Charlie says, “We’re trending because of Alastor’s broadcast!”
Alastor gives Lucifer a confused look, “Trending?”
“It means they’re being talked about online.” Lucifer says sweetly
“You're the best, Alastor!” Charlie squeals, rushing out
“Thanks, Alastor!” Vaggie says, running out after Charlie
“BREAKFAST-? Welp, they’re gone.” Lucifer says, shrugging his shoulders with a smile, “So excited. Ah, youth.”
-
Charlie groaned, flopping on the couch, flipping onto her back and opening her arms so Vaggie could flop onto her, which she did with a matching groan
“Sooo, how’d it goooo?” Angel asked, scrolling on his phone
“Not a single new guest…” Vaggie mumbled into Charlie’s stomach
“Yeah, well, who wouldn’t wanna spend their last days fuckin’ or fightin’?”
Knock, knock, knock!
“I’ll get it.” Angel says, getting up and going to the door
At the door stood Sir Pentious, his hat in his hands, “Oh! Hello! Angel Dusssst, right?”
“Oh, Christ.” Angel sighed, leaning his head back into the hotel, “REDDDDD! I NEED YA AT TA DOOR!”
“Ah, I'm here to-“
“Ya’ve got some nerve.” Angel said, his face completely deadpan
“I do…?” Pentious asked, his eyes shifting to the side nervously
“Ya tried ta kill us all, like, literally 3 days ago.” Angel growls, his lower set of arms crossing. He leaned into the hotel, “ALASTOR!”
Alastor appeared from the shadow of the door, “Yes?” His eyes shifted over to Sir Pentious, “…ah. You.”
“You…recognize me?” Pentious asks, blinking in pure disbelief
“You’re the one that ruined my coat.”
Well, fuck.
Charlie came to the door, Vaggie only a step behind her, “Guys? What’s the problem- oh! Hi! It’s you!”
“H-Hi!” Pentious said shyly
“How can I help you?” Charlie asked sweetly
“I, um, heard about your hotel! From the broadcassst! You want to help people be…better, right?”
Charlie gasped, lunging forward and grabbing Sir Pentious’ hands in her own- holy crap, the crown was touching him-, her red eyes sparkled when she spoke, “You heard right! Welcome to our home of healing, our resort of restoration,” she began walking Pentious to the door, Pentious slipping his hat back on to keep up with her, “our-!”
Angel Dust stepped in front of them, blocking the doorway, “Are ya fuckin’ nuts?! This guy tried ta kill us! And now ya wanna invite him in here ta live with us?!”
“Angel, this place is all about second chances!” Charlie said eagerly, “And who deserves one more than this…”
Whatever Charlie said next completely escaped Angel and Alastor’s minds, both their eyes fixated on Sir Pentious’ new, electric blue collar. Alastor growled lowly, his ears pinning back.
Angel Dust shared a knowing look with him, turning to Vaggie, “Aren’tcha supposed to protect this place?”
Charlie gave Vaggie her best puppy eyes, quietly begging her over to her side
Vaggie weighed her options, approaching the tense group. She had to do better by the lambs. Have a fair hand in the game, “He’s not much threat without the war machine…” she gave Pentious a disregarding side-eye, “or even with the war machine…but, I’ll keep an eye on him…okay?”
Angel Dust nodded, pulling himself and Alastor to the side. He bent down to Alastor’s ear, whispering into it, “Say ta word, and he’s a stain on ta carpet, Red.”
Alastor’s ears went back up at this, “…you’re too good to me, Angel.”
“I’m also an award winning sharp-shooter, but that's neither here, nor there…unless we need it…” Angel said with a grin
Alastor matched it, nodding, soothed at the backup from Angel
“Sir Pentious, wwwwweeeelcome to The Hazbin Hotel!” Charlie cheers, marching ahead
“Thank you, Darling! You won’t regret thisss!” Sir Pentious says, following her into the hotel.
The others file in after, with Angel leaning down into Alastor’s ear, “I give ‘im a week, tops…”
Alastor snorted, “We can only hope…”
They head into the lobby, Charlie in front of the group, “So! This is the bar, and the bar-tender!” Charlie motions to Husk, who's wiping out glasses
When Husk sees Sir Pentious, his fur raises and his ears go down, a low growl rumbling from his throat
Charlie gives him an odd look, moving on quickly, “This is the curtain! And this is the new wall after you destroyed our old one! Oh, and this is-!”
Vaggie takes her hand, “Babe. You don’t have to show him everything.” She says playfully
“Sorry! I'm just so excited for us to have another guest!” Charlie squeals, eyes sparkling, spotting Nifty and taking Sir Pentious to her, “This is Nifty! Our maid!”
Nifty looks up from playing with KeeKee, who hisses and runs off from Pentious, “Oh, it’s the bad boy that tore Alastor’s coat!” She runs up, climbing him effortlessly and grabbing him by his shirt, looking him dead in his eyes, “Never touch him again.”
“We’re about 80% sure she’s harmless!” Charlie says, watching Nifty run off to find KeeKee, “But while we’re on the subject of Alastor’s coat, I think that’d be a perfect first lesson!” She turned to Alastor, “Can I borrow you?”
Alastor hummed, his radio crackling as he approached Charlie and Pentious
“Okay! Lesson 1, how to apologize!” Charlie said, tucking her hands behind her back and straightening up, “The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you’ve done something wrong and give a genuine apology by addressing the wronged person, admitting blame and offering to do better in the future! Why don’t you give it a try!”
Sir Pentious swallowed nervously, approaching Alastor cautiously, who was grinning like a cat who’d caught the canary, “Yesss! Um…Mr. Radio Demon, Ssssir…pleassse forgive me for, um…attacking you…twenty plusss timesss…and uh…ruining your very lovely coat…I promissse we will live in perfect harmony from now on! Um…” he dug in his coat pocket, pulling out the scrap of Alastor’s suit he’d ripped off 3 days ago, “Here?”
“Oh-hoooo! It’s been decades since anyone’s managed to take something of this size off me!” Alastor takes the scrap, examining it, “It must have meant quite a lot to you!” The scrap lights up in green blaze in his fingers, his smile darkening as it burns to mere ashes, “You’re lucky you won’t have to answer to Lucifer for that.”
Pentious felt his mouth go dry. Wow. He could have died, and he’s only been on his mission for five minutes…
Notes:
I honestly laughed myself to DEATH when I rewatched Episode 2 and realized that KeeKee doesn't like Pentious because cats hate snakes- So I repeated the basic idea with Husk! ALSO HOW ARE WE ALMOST AT 3,500 HITS WHAT- HUH- That's crazy thank y'all so much ah!! And nearly 20 bookmarks, that's crazy too ah!! :'3 For those that might've read last chapter before I fixed the formatting, it's now all fixed and cleaned up! :) Thank you, my friends!
Chapter 29: Quiet On Set, Please!
Summary:
The Guests do an icebreaker and put on a skit!
Notes:
It didn't make sense for Charlie to not give Angel a fair part in the exercises to me, so I changed it here! >:3 Enjoy, my friends!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Okay, guests! Let’s all gather up in the parlor for exercises! Vaggie, will you help me with it?” Charlie asks, her eyes sparkling
“Sure, Babe.”
“I’ll go prepare the guest’s room…” Nifty said, her eye bloodshot and her smile cutting into her face menacingly. She walked away, finding Alastor at the top of the stairs
“My dear, I appreciate your protective nature, but don’t get in trouble with Lucifer on my behalf.” Alastor says, scooping her up into his arms
“But he ruined your coat! Mr. Luci gave you that one!” Nifty whines
“It was easily fixed, dear one. If you really want to frighten him, oil the baseboards with peppermint.”
“Peppermint…? Why…?” Nifty asked
“Snakes despise it. If you're asked about it, say you oil all the guest rooms like that. Angel will back you up.”
Nifty smiled, “Really?”
“Oh, how could he not after you gave him such a lovely crown? Dare I say, you have the hotel wrapped around your dainty fingers.” Alastor purred
“Hehe…I do…” Nifty whispered, looking scarily pleased, “I’ll go find my oils…”
“Atta girl.” Alastor said, setting her down and watching her run off. He sighed, heading back to the second floor. He had work to do
-
“Now! With a new resident, I think it’s important that we all get to know each other!” Charlie said, standing in the parlor, the others gathered around her in a half circle on the floor, “So, we’re going to play a little game! Sing your name, something you like to do, and a fun fact about yourself! Or, just how you’re feeling! I’ll start! Ahem! My name is Charlie,” she sang, clapping her hands twice, “I like to sing!” She clapped her hands twice again, “And when we get to know each other, it’s the great-est thing!” She claps twice again, then motions eagerly to Sir Pentious
“Oh! Ah…my name’ssss Sssir Pentioussss,” Pentious clapped twice, “I like…to build?” He claps twice again, looking away uncertainly, “And…dessspite my ssstupid egg boysss, I think I’m very…” his eyes lit up, realizing he could perfectly finish this, “ssskilled!”
Pentious and Charlie both motion to Angel, twice as eager as before. Angel sighed, seeing how genuinely they wanted him to play, and clapped, “I’m Angel Dust,” He claps twice, “I’m friends with ta buck,” he claps twice, staring right at Pentious, “And if ya hurt anyone here, I will fuck ya up.”
“Angel!” Charlie said scoldingly, “Pentious is here to be redeemed! Just like you! He isn’t going to hurt anyone!”
Angel rolls his eyes, looking away. Yeah, he wasn’t too sure about that…
-
“CAN I SEE EVERYONE IN THE PARLOR PLEASE? THANK YOUUUU!” Charlie called out like a sports announcer
Husk and Nifty came quickly, Nifty’s hair braided into two wet twin tails
“I took a bath!” She chirps
“Oh no, did I interrupt?” Charlie asks, looking genuinely worried
“Nope! I was just soaking off the oil!”
“Oil…?”
Alastor came down, “You called, my dear?”
“Yes! We’re putting on a skit!” Charlie squeals, her attention immediately snapped up
“A skit! My, how entertaining! And who is acting in it?”
“Angel Dust and Sir Pentious!” Charlie said, motioning to Angel Dust, who was dressed in a blood-stained overcoat and a reporter’s hat, and Sir Pentious, who was…dressed like a sailor…and had a giant lollipop…?
Nifty and Husk exploded into loud laughter, Alastor chuckling behind his hand, “Oh…I see…”
They all sat on down, with Husk taking the armchair, Nifty in his lap, while Alastor sat next to Charlie and Vaggie on the couch
Charlie gave them an eager nod to begin, absolutely buzzing with excitement
Angel Dust sighed, reading off his line, “Oh…I’m a bad man on ta streets, who never got enough hugs…now…where’s an innocent kid I can sell mar- marj-“ he turned to Charlie, “Toots, that’s not how you spell marijuana.”
“No, no, you're doing great! Keep going!”
“Okay…where’s an innocent kid I can sell marijuana to?” He lifted his head, “Hey, you.”
Everyone turned to look at Sir Pentious, who was putting his all into licking that giant lollipop. Was that real, or was he actually a decent actor…?, “Who, meeee?” He cooed, eyes sparkling
“Yeah…you look like a kid who could use some…” Angel squinted at the script in disbelief, “Devil’s yard clippings…?” He turned again to Charlie, “Babe, how do ya not know slang for weed?! Ya can get it everywhere!”
Pentious continued the script, ignoring Angel’s interruption, “Not me! I have to go home and ssstudy!”
“C’mon, Kid…it’ll make ya cool, like me…” he narrowed his eyes again, sighing, “Ta crack head…Charlie, weed and crack are different!”
“The only cool thing here is to sssay no to drugsss!” Pentious continued, putting up an authoritative finger and wagging it playfully, “Now, if you’ll excussse me, I’m off to not have sssexual intercourssse before marriage!”
“Wow, you’re right, Kid.” Angel droned on, “I’m gonna check inta rehab, get my life on track, and find ta lord…just like ya showed me!”
Then, together, they said, “And then we’ll both go to Heaven!”
“YES! Oh, bravo, bravo!” Charlie cheered, standing up and applauding, “Angel, Pentious, that was perfect! At this rate, you’ll both be redeemed in no time!”
Angel smiled slightly, genuinely amused at how enthusiastic Charlie was. He gave Pentious a playful nudge, “Hey. Not bad, new guy.”
“R-Really?” Pentious asked, his eyes wide, “You…like me? You really like me?”
“Ya did good with the material ya had.” Angel said, his phone ringing in his pocket, “Oh, ‘scuse me. I better get that.”
“O-Of courssse! S-Sssee you later!” Pentious said eagerly
“That time already?” Alastor asked, checking the clock, “Then I must excuse myself as well! It’s almost time for my broadcast!”
“Okay! Great work today, everyone! I’ll see you all at dinner!” Charlie said, bouncing happily
“Until then, Princess!” Alastor said, heading upstairs with Angel, “…everything alright, my friend?”
“Val called me…” Angel mumbles, staring at his phone, “He never calls…he only texts…that means he’s gonna wring my neck…”
Alastor softened, “May I do anything to settle your nerves?”
“No…I better go call him back…” Angel mumbles, walking off to his room. He heads in, locking his door behind him and sitting on the bed. He calls Val back, stripping off his hat and overcoat while the phone rings
Val picks up after two rings, “What do you think you're doing at The Crown’s REDEMPTION HOTEL?!”
Angel flinched violently, taking a shuddering breath, “T-Those bastards?” The word stung on his tongue, “They, they give me free room, b-board, an’ three meals a day if I play nice an’ act like I believe in-in the princess’ cause…”
“Oh, and room and board HERE isn't good enough?!” Valentino snarled
Angel took another breath. Stay calm. He’d prepared for this fight 3 weeks ago, when he’d fled the dingy motel room Valentino had branded, ‘Staff housing’, “Well, it’s…one less thing ya have to pay for, right?”
“I didn’t pay for it, you dumb whore! You did! It came out of your paycheck! What are you doing with the extra cash?!”
“Drugs, Val, what else…?” Angel whispered, staring at Fat Nuggets’ nice bed, toys, and premium food he’d finally been able to get him on
“Oh, of course.” Valentino sneered, “I should’ve known. Addict trash like you never changes.”
“R-Right…” Angel whispered, drawing his arms in close to his body, “You know me, Val…all this redemption talk is pure bullshit…”
“Mm…” Valentino hummed, then sighed, “I guess you have a point…the crown taking you off my hands isn't the worst thing…but don’t you dare skip out on work, you hear me? You miss even one shoot, I’ll drag you out of that hotel by your hair!”
Angel, oddly, feels a bit of relief hearing that. It would never happen. If Charlie didn’t say anything, Alastor would, and then Lucifer would bust Val’s teeth out…, “Right…I understand…”
“Good. I’ll see you tonight.” Valentino says, and quickly hangs up
Angel Dust sighs, shivering hard. Fuck, he needs a drink…but he doesn’t want to be alone, either…
Before Angel Dust can really process what he’s doing, he's on the elevator, Fat Nuggets in one set of arms, a fat bottle of liquor in the other. He gets off on the eighth floor, heading to Alastor’s room. Wait, isn’t he busy? Shit, his broadcast…
Angel considers going back to his room. Selfishly, he knocks instead
Alastor’s shadow appears, looking quite irritated. When he sees it’s Angel and Nugs, he smiles and tilts his head curiously
“Oh! Hi! Um…is Red busy?” Angel asks
The shadow nods
“S-Sorry…I’ll go, then…”
Angel turns away, but his shoulders are grabbed by the shadow, “No…! Angel…welcome…!”
Angel gasps, whirling around, “ YOU TALK?!”
“No…! Audience…!”
Holy shit, that was the audience, Alastor can merge his powers? It sounds weak, though. Is it because Alastor’s microphone is far away…?
“Angel….! Come…! In…!”
“Are you sure…? I can go…” Angel whispers
“Yes…! Angel…! Friend…!”
Fuck, that was so sweet. Angel, convinced, lets himself in, Alastor’s shadow eagerly trailing after him, the door locking behind them. The shadow leads Angel to the back and up a staircase
“Quiet…! On set…! Please…!” The shadow whispers, his voice a bit stronger now
Angel nods, putting a finger to his lips in agreement. The shadow looks pleased, and they arrive in Alastor’s studio
Notes:
Wah we're so close to 3.5k hits!! That's so crazy y'all ah!! :D Thank you all so much for the wonderful comments, kudos and views!! :3 I'm having A LOT of fun writing Pentious in!!
Chapter 30: Guess What Else!
Summary:
Angel and Alastor discuss the V's!
Notes:
I can't believe we've reached chapter 30?? That's crazy! Enjoy my friends! Catch my note at the end!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Alastor is at his sound booth, talking into the mic. He gives Angel a smile and a wave when he sees him, motioning Angel to a pot of fresh coffee and his couch invitingly. Angel makes a heart with his fingers in response, sitting Nugs down on the couch and heading over to get a coffee
“I thought I would round out my broadcast tonight by updating you ever so loyal listeners on The Hazbin Hotel’s progress!” Alastor says, leaning back in his chair, microphone in hand, kicking his feet up onto his desk, “We have another guest! Funnily enough, he’s from Vox of Vox-tech! How alarmingly predictable that Vox doesn’t watch after his employees! His loss, our gain, I say! Well, that’ll be all from me, listeners! Here’s a little number from the jazz club!” Alastor turned off his microphone, turning to Angel, “Angel! Welcome to my studio!”
“It’s nice! Is this ta favor ya cashed in from Lucifer?” Angel asks, sitting down with his coffee
“One of them, yes!” Alastor says, then looks away, his smile curling up wolfishly, “He owes me another…I have a gold star, afterall.”
“Man, favors from the devil. I can’t even imagine.” Angel says, sipping his coffee, “What are ya gonna ask for?”
“Mm, I’ll find something…maybe I’ll ask for permission to kill Pentious…” Alastor mused
“Has he…let ya kill people before…?”
“Well, no…but hey, he doesn’t have to know about all my hobbies.”
“Damn, ya really hate that snake bitch, huh?”
Alastor hummed, resting against his recording chair, “Not him…more so who he works for…”
“Oooo, juicy history?” Angel asked, leaning forward and resting his head in his upper set of hands
“Ugh…not history that I care to rehash…” Alastor mumbled, rubbing his temples with his fingers
“Well, that’s fine too-“ Angel said, patting Fat Nugs
“I used to like him.”
Angel Dust went wide-eyed, quietly settling back in his chair, “What, like…romantically?”
“No. As a friend.” Alastor sighs, staring out the window, “It was before I knew Lucifer. When I was my own demon…”
“Not a nice story?”
“No. He was my friend, and I was his favorite oddity. When greed outweighed that curiousity…well, that's when I became a lamb.”
Angel sighed, nodding, “Yeah…the V’s love their money, huh?”
“Desperately.”
“Actually, if you knew the V’s back in the day…maybe you can answer a question a mine.” Angel said, taking a sip of his coffee
“Perhaps.”
“Why do they all own each other's souls?”
Alastor groaned loudly, dragging his hand over his face
“Oh my god. Red. Are we-“ Angel got visibly excited, practically shaking, “Are we about to talk shit?!”
“Y’know what? Yes.” Alastor said, fully turning to look at Angel
“Can we drink and talk shit?! It’s like, my favorite combination!”
Alastor shrugs with a smile, “Sure, why not? Spike my coffee.”
“Red, I love ya.” Angel says. He takes the bottle over to the coffee station, pops the bottle open, dumps half a mug’s worth each into two cups, fills them with coffee, passes one to Alastor and sits down with his own, “Tell me everything.”
Alastor takes a long drink of his coffee, then begins, “They’re completely ridiculous, for starters . They all own a part of each-other. Velvette is owned by Vox and Valentino, Vox is owned by Velvette and Valentino-“
“And Val is owned by Vox and Velvette! It looks so tacky! Who the hell owns half a soul?!”
“It’s their business strategy!”
“YOU’RE KIDDING!” Angel gasped, physically jerking back in shock
“Oh, I wish! It’s why we call them the V’s, because they’re on such exact footing with each-other! No part of the company can get out of control, even if it’s more popular, its head is owned by the other branches!”
“Hang on, do they share their money, too?”
“Last I was aware.” Alastor says over his mug, his eyebrow quirking up, “Why?”
“OH MY GOD! That explains so much!” Angel shrieked, setting his drink down sharply, “Val’s eyes are total shit! It takes him an hour to count two bills-! I wondered how he was handling our paychecks so well! God, I bet he has no idea what he’s paying me!” Angel cackled, downing half his mug in one go. He licked his lips, then grinned, “Christ, I’ll tell ya a secret, actually.”
“Do tell.” Alastor says, eagerly scooting up
“I’ve seen how they text each-other!”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“Angel. I would pay millions for this information.” Alastor whispered
“Valentino calls himself Papi.”
“He calls HIMSELF Papi?”
“He calls HIMSELF Papi.”
Alastor threw his head back, cackling loudly, “No!”
“Yes! Nobody else calls him that! It’s so weird!” Angel sighs, finishing his drink
“Does he make you-?” Alastor stopped himself, burying himself back in his mug, “Apologies…that was an unfair question.”
“Nah, it’s okay, Red. We can…talk about that kinda thing.” Angel said softly
“But…we’ve been drinking.”
Angel softened instantly. When was the last time someone had said that to him? When was the last time someone had cared about that?, “…he doesn’t make me call him that. He doesn’t make me do anything.”
“Really…? I'm so glad…”
Angel nods, “Val is his own biggest fan. So, he doesn’t sleep with any of his…property. He says it would be a scandal. Make him look completely blown out by lust. In a way, I respect it…” Angel smiles, his tone lightening up, “He doesn’t need it anyways. He sleeps with Vox.”
Alastor, mid-sip of his coffee, spit-sprays it out, coughing loudly, his face going red, “HE-?!” Alastor coughs, smacking his chest, “HE SLEEPS WITH WHO?!”
“WITH VOX!” Angel shouts, standing up and throwing all his hands out
“MY GOD!”
“I KNOW! AND GUESS WHAT ELSE?! GUESS WHAT ELSE?! THEY ALL SPANK EACH OTHER!”
Alastor laughs harder than Angel has ever heard him laugh. His laugh is sharp, loud, somewhat deranged, and Angel swears he can hear little happy bleats somewhere in it. It makes Angel laugh too, makes him laugh so hard that he suddenly realizes…
Damn, they’re both drunk
Alastor falls out of his chair, giggling and rolling onto his back, laughing at the ceiling. When he calms down, his face is still red from alcohol, “Hey, Angel…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re here…At the hotel, I mean…” Alastor whispers, “You’re…fun…I don’t have enough of that…”
Angel feels himself get choked up at this sentiment. Damn…not enough fun…? Angel smiles, “Well…y’know what’s really fun?”
“Hm…?”
“Prank calls.”
“What’s…that?”
“You’ve never prank called someone?!” Angel gasps, “Ohhhh, it’s the best! People get so mad! C’mon, let’s go find a phone!”
Angel and Alastor get up, leaning on each other for support as they stumble down Alastor’s staircase, laughing loudly as they do.
When they manage to get to Alastor’s room, Angel spots a gold phone sitting on Alastor’s desk, “Oh, hey, you already have a phone!”
“Ohhhh…yeah, use that one!” Alastor giggles
“Okay, okay! This is gonna be fun!” When Angel picks up the phone, he doesn’t even have to put in a number, the phone connects somewhere immediately. Angel gives Alastor a look, “Do you have someone on speed dial?”
“Mm…no…?”
“Uh…then who is this-?”
Click
“Alastor? Is everything okay?”
Fuckkkkkk…it’s Lucifer
Notes:
I sat for A WHILE thinking about if I wanted to take the bulk/all of the SA out of Angel's story. Ultimately, I decided to for two reasons. One, I'm not a survivor of SA, and I don't feel that's my topic to write about, even in fanfiction. Two, I think A LOT of Vizzie's villains are completely undercut by their lust, and I wanted to trim the fat and make the V's a larger threat here! I don't expect everyone to agree with this decision, but it's mine to make, and I'm pleased with how I think it'll flow better here :) Thank you for 3.5K hits!
Chapter 31: Speed Dial
Summary:
Alastor and Angel keep drinking, Pentious makes a bold move
Notes:
I can't believe this fic is getting so long and I'm still finishing up episode 2- This just shows how much I love to yap. Okay! Enjoy friends!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“…Alastor? Hello?”
Angel covers the speaker quickly, looking at Alastor with wide eyes, “Red, it’s ya boss.”
“You called my boss…?”
“Not on purpose! What do I do?!”
“Hang up…?”
Angel hangs up. The phone starts ringing immediately
“Shit! Alastor, pick it up!” Angel squeaks
“Why me…?”
“Because he’s your boss! Pick it UP!”
Alastor hums, picking up the phone, “Hi, Luci.”
Oh, they’re so dead
“‘Luci?’” Lucifer asks, “Nevermind- are you okay?”
“Yeah, why?”
“‘Yeah, why…?’ Because you called me and didn’t say anything?”
“Uhhh…yeah. It was an accident.”
“You picked up a direct line to me…on accident?” Lucifer asks, and Alastor can practically hear the raise of his eyebrows
“…yes.”
Lucifer paused, quietly considering that, “Are you drunk, Alastor?”
“Noooo! No!…wait, am I?” Alastor asked, turning to Angel, “Angel, am I drunk?”
“…yeah, you’re drunk.” Angel says quietly
“Put Angel on the phone, Dearest.” Lucifer coos
Alastor nods, passing the phone to Angel, “He wants you.”
Angel takes the phone, anxiety creeping up his spine, “Hello?”
“Hiya. Do I need to come down and look after Alastor, or have you got it covered?”
“No, no, all good here!” Angel says as convincingly as possible
“Mhm. And are you drunk?”
“Uh…I mean…I’ve been drinking, but I’m fine! Not drunk, sobering up fast!” Which was true. Nothing made sober Angel jump back in line faster than an authority figure questioning his sobriety, “I can look after Lil Red, no trouble!”
“You sure? Because I can-“
“I’m positive! Lil Red needs some fun, that's all!” Angel is fully sweating now
“…mm. True. Keep him out of trouble, alright? He gets out of hand, just call me.” Lucifer says, tapping the butt of his pen against his desk rhythmically
“Is he known for-? Nevermind! He’ll be good! Bye!” Angel hangs up quickly, sharing a wide eyed look with Alastor before they both burst out laughing, hanging onto each other for support while they cackle
When Angel can catch his breath, he takes Alastor to the hallway, “C’mon! I’ve got another idea!”
“Oh? What’s that?” Alastor asks
“Drunk cooking.” Angel says with a big, mischievous grin
-
It starts out perfectly fine. They decide to make pancakes, which, realistically, should have only mildly gone to shit. But Angel just can’t resist sneaking more bottles from the bar, and they quickly downgrade from using cups to just chugging from the bottle
Then, they hit the critical point. The alcohol makes them thirsty. The logical solution? Drink more alcohol. Do they dry heave over the sink? Yes. Yes they do. Do they keep drinking? Somehow
Angel, in his happy blur, tosses a bit of pancake mix at Alastor’s arm. It gets in his hair. Well…it gets in one of the Alastors’ hair. There are currently three of them. All three pause, their radios crackling. Then, they all grab a scoop of pancake batter directly from the bowl and throw it right into Angel’s face. Things go downhill from there, with Angel using all his arms to throw pancake batter at all three Alastors, and the Alastors using their hands and four freaking tentacles to throw it back.
When they run out of batter, they start grabbing random things. Angel goes after the flour, the Alastors going after baking powder. There’s so much dust in the air (Which makes them hack and cough, which makes them dry-heave over the sink together again (There is temporary truce found in dry-heaving over the sink)) that they don’t even see Husk standing in the doorway
“WHAT ARE YOU STUPID FUCKS DOING?!” Husk shouts
Angel and the Alastors stop. Angel is blinking and squinting to see Husk- no, four Husks…while the Alastors are hanging onto the counter to stay upright, his curls- Alastor has curls-? Sticking up in clumps from his face, bleach white and crunchy looking
“Oh for the love of god, are you two drunk?!”
“…noooo?” Angel guesses, quietly counting the three Alastors. Damn. Pretty rude to exclude them. They were right there
“I knew I was missing shit from my bar! What the hell?!”
Angel pouts, “Kitty, I just wanted Red to have some fun, that's all!”
Husk groaned loudly, “Getting him drunk isn't the way to do that! He’s such a sloppy drunk!”
“No ‘m not…” The Alastors mumbled, halfway bent over the counter, losing the battle to stay up
“Yes you are-! Ugh! Take a bath and go to bed!”
“Husky, you ain’t his boss!” Angel said, stepping in front of The Alastors protectively
“Do you want me to call our actual boss and get him down here?! Because he’ll make you scrub the floor with a toothbrush!” Husk barked
“Fine, fine, ya snitch! I’ll sober him up!” Angel snapped, turning back to…um…, “…where’d Alastor go?”
“Oh, great, he’s somewhere in the hotel.” Husk grumbled, pulling out a flip phone and punching something into it
Lambs: ‘Put a spell on the hotel. Nothing in, nothing out.’
Lambs: ‘Pls’
Lucifer: ‘Done. I'm coming down.’
Lambs: ‘No need’
Lucifer: ‘I didn’t ask. I’ll be there in 15.’
Lambs: ‘Yes, Sir.’
Husk pocketed the phone with a sigh, “Alright, I just trapped him in the building. Should stop him from going out and killing somebody.”
“You have a phone?! How did I not know this?!” Angel asked with a pout, his arms crossed, “We could be texting buddies!”
“It’s not my phone, it’s our phone. Al, Niff and I don’t use modern shit. So, we share a phone in case we need Lucifer for something. And I always get stuck with carrying it.” Husk grumbled, “Anyways- Go find Bambi before he fucks something up.”
“Ooo…or…someone…” Angel says, sucking a sharp breath between his teeth
“No, everyone should be- oh shit, Pentious.”
“Shit!” Angel squeaked, and ran up the stairs, stopping at the top. No, wait, think- Angel can’t rely on Alastor’s favorite spots. He has to think where Pentious would be. He doesn’t even know that guy! Where would Alastor think to look?! Where would drunk Alastor?!
Crapppp, Lucifer’s gonna be so mad!
-
Pentious slithers into the library in the lobby, doing his best to look casual and unbothered. When he’s sure nobody’s spotted him, he shuts the doors behind him. Mm. Must have bad hinges, because the door creaks open just a touch anyways. Pentious casually goes over to the bookshelf, peeking at the titles
Fascinating…they’re psychology books, published diaries, social work textbooks, and…camp counselor handbooks? Okay, interesting…Pentious finds the dustiest shelf, which contains…uh…every version of the DSM? And sticks a listening device underneath it’s shelf
-
Vox looks up from his cameras, hearing an audio device join his feed, “What the…? Oh, Pentious, you moron! VAL! GET IN HERE!”
Valentino pops up quickly, already in his pajamas, “Oh? Eager for our little chat, are we, amorcito?”
“No! Pentious bugged the hotel!”
“Already? Didn’t you tell him to wait?” Valentino asked, sitting on the arm of Vox’s chair
“Yes!” Vox seethed
The audio went staticy, the sounds of a radio humming over it
“Wow. He just got caught in three seconds.” Vox groaned
-
Pentious spun around, hearing the crackling of a radio. What he saw was…unexpected…to say the least…
The great radio demon, who Pentious regularly saw in his nightmares, was drunk as a skunk. He stumbled in, his face and clothes covered in white powder and some other goop
“Uh…” Pentious mumbled, looking Alastor up and down
“Whatever you just…put in here…take it, and leave this hotel…now.”
-
“…okay, he sounds weird…” Vox mumbles, eyes narrowing
“He sort of sounds…drunk?”
“Alastor doesn’t get drunk.”
“Well, he's there with Angel. Angel could convince a nun to do shots.” Valentino mummered, then sighed, standing up, “Come on, Amour. Let’s get you to bed.”
“What?! No!”
“Azul, you and I still need to have a discussion about risking your safety. A long one. With a riding crop.” Valentino said sternly, “Now come along.”
“Just 30 more minutes?!”
“No.”
“20?!”
“Vox. Don’t make Papi be mean to you.” Valentino sighed
Vox gave him his best, most watery puppy eyes, “15?”
“…fine. 15. But that’s it.”
Vox gave him a winning smile and a kiss on the cheek, eagerly pulling Valentino over to sit him in Vox’s lap. Valentino gave him an amused look, sitting still so Vox could listen to the drama
-
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Pentious said, stubbornly crossing his arms and turning his head away from Alastor
“I know there’s something in here…” Alastor snarls, “Take it, and leave.”
“Yesss, I’m sssure you would know…what train hit you? Jussst curiousss…” Pentious hisses accusingly
“You-!”
“Red!”
-
Valentino looks up from his phone, “Is that Angel?”
“It is…and what’s this about Alastor getting hit by a train…?” Vox mumbles
-
Alastor looked back as Angel came in, who quickly pulled him back and away from Pentious
“Alastor, c’mon, you’ve had too much.” Angel says gently
“Angel, there’s a listening device in here.” Alastor hisses, wrenching his arm away from Angel
“Then Charlie can find it for us. You need to go to bed.”
Alastor relaxed slightly, his ears coming back up from being previously pinned back, “…I suppose you’re-“
“That’sss right, lissten to Daddy Whore Bug!”
Notes:
I LOVED adding a reference to Alastor's voice actor calling Vizzie a sloppy drunk, hehe! Hopefully the texting scene doesn't look wonky on the formatting, but if it does, I'll get it fixed asap! I really appreciate all the support for my decision to cut out the SA in the series as well :) We're wrapping episode 2 up, some juicy scenes coming, my friends!
Chapter 32: 5 Minutes
Summary:
Pentious gets jumped, Charlie and Lucifer arrive to the situation, Alastor gets a bath
Notes:
This chapter is very much inspired by the "you'll NEVER be like your mom" scene in the OG Lilo and Stitch and the scene where Nicole Watterson goes to jail with the fingerprint burglar in TAWOG. Haha, enjoy, friends!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Everything freezes when Pentious says that, even Alastor’s radio goes silent. Even Vox and Valentino go silent. Alastor cracks his neck, staring right into Angel’s eyes.
Angel lets him go and shuts the door, “Realistically, ya only got ‘bout ten minutes before Lucifer shows up.”
“Five will be plenty.” Alastor says, stripping down to his button up and cracking his neck loudly. When his neck is straightened, his radio comes back on at a scream, a loud EEEEEEEE that Angel covers his ears from and squeezes his eyes shut. When he opens his eyes again, Alastor is sitting on top of Pentious, choking him out while Pentious claws at his face
Alastor is getting cut up. He doesn’t seem to notice. Pentious punches him in the eye. Alastor doesn’t notice. Angel walks over, his own anger flaring up from Pentious fighting back, and he stomps down on Pentious’ hands, holding them down. Alastor gives Angel a deranged smile and punches Pentious in the throat. Is it elegant? No. Does it work, the snake demon gagging and slamming his own head back against the floor? Yes. It works quite beautifully, making Alastor and Angel both laugh so loudly that they don’t notice Charlie until Charlie is yanking Alastor back by his ear and Angel Dust back by his arm
Damn, she’s strong- She gets them both off of Sir Pentious easily, holding Alastor under one arm, Angel under the other, “What are you two DOING?!” She snarled, her eyes blood red, her fangs showing, horns exposed- ooo, they’re screwed-
“T-They-!” Pentious coughed weakly, his throat aching horribly, “They attacked me, your majessty!”
-
The static finally cleared, Vox and Valentino straining to hear
“Holy shit, that snake got jumped.” Valentino whistled
“Why did Alastor even care? Are he and Angel…friends?” Vox mumbled
-
“That’s bullshit! This little bitch is a traitor!” Angel snarled, “There’s a damn listening device in here!”
“Angel, don’t be ridiculous-!”
“He’s right, there is.”
Everyone turned to see Lucifer in the doorway. He came in, went right to the DSM shelf, and grabbed the device, showing it to everyone. Once Charlie’s form calmed and reverted, he broke it, crumbling it in his fingers
-
“FUCK!” Vox shrieked
“Mm. C’mon, Azul, let’s go have our chat.”
-
“Y-Your majesssty, I-“ Sir Pentious whispered, fear gripping his pounding heart
“I'm not interested in speaking to you.” Lucifer says, strolling over and collecting Alastor from Charlie, “It’s my daughter’s choice if you stay or go. As for you,” he said, looking to Angel, “I’m disappointed. Not angry, but disappointed. I expect an apology later. Are we clear?”
“Yes, Sir.” Angel said, quiet and meek as a mouse
“Good.” Lucifer said, and pulled Alastor out by the hand
Charlie turned to Angel and Pentious, her voice cold and firm, “Get to the kitchen and clean it NOW.”
Angel and Pentious scrambled up and ran out, a quiet truce formed in fear of the princess
-
Lucifer dragged Alastor back to Lucifer’s bedroom by the ear, making him bend down awkwardly to match Lucifer’s height and pace. He shut the door hard behind them, letting Alastor go and giving him a harsh swat on the ass, “Strip. I’ll be in the bathroom.”
“Bare?” Alastor asks, his hands moving to unbutton his shirt
“Boxers.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
Lucifer heads into his bathroom, sitting down on the edge of the jacuzzi tub and turning the water on, pouring some bubble bath in that he knew Alastor liked. He got up, grabbing the first aid kit from underneath the sink and set it down on the sink. Alastor came in, sat himself down on the edge of the tub, and looked up at Lucifer with slightly cloudy eyes.
Lucifer tsked softly, “Oh, Hon. Still a bit drunk?”
Alastor nodded, brushing his hand across his face and looking genuinely surprised when it came back slightly wet with his blood, “Your majesty, I’m bleeding.”
“Yes. Because you got into a fight.” Lucifer said, wetting a washcloth and stepping over, washing the thick layer of flour off of Alastor’s bloody face. Once it was off, he treated the shallow scratches across Alastor’s face and checked his eye, which had small black and blue splotches under it, but wasn’t anywhere near a full black eye. Looks like Pentious didn’t even know to curl his fist, luckily. “My poor lamb. What were you doing, fighting like that?”
“I didn’t plan to.” Alastor whispered, his ears going back, “But he called Angel a whore.”
“Did he?”
“Yes. And he belongs to Vox. He betrayed the hotel.”
“Boxers off and into the tub, please. You don’t like him because he belongs to Vox?”
Alastor did as he was told, stripping his boxers off and getting into the pleasantly hot water, sighing in relief from it, “Of course that’s not why…I don’t even really have an opinion on him. It’s just that he works for Vox…and Vox is…”
“Your least favorite person in the world.” Lucifer finished for him, bending down beside the tub and rolling up his sleeves, “But Pentious didn’t deserve the beating you’d have given to Vox.”
“I wouldn’t beat Vox, I’d kill him.” Alastor huffed
“So you hate Pentious enough to beat him bloody like that? It doesn’t have anything to do with Vox?” Lucifer asked, taking a cup and filling it with water
“It has everything to do with Vox. Vox bought him, and prepped him, and gave him things to bug the hotel with. To…spy on me.”
“So he's a tool that has no choice.” Lucifer said, pouring the water over Alastor’s hand and lower arm, taking Alastor’s hand in his to turn his arm how he liked, “Try to sympathize with him, Alastor, he’s just like-“
“I refuse.” Alastor growled out
Lucifer grabbed Alastor’s face in his hand, squeezing Alastor’s jaw tightly, “Don’t interrupt me. Tell me your Mama’s saying.”
Alastor’s mood shifts in an instant, his eyes going wide and his smile quivering, “Mère...? Which one…?”
“You know which one.”
Alastor’s eyes cast themselves down as his ears go back, “…never forget where you came from.”
“And?”
“…and never look down on those whose burden you once shared.” Alastor says quietly, nearly inaudible
“Good. Do you understand what you did wrong?”
Alastor nods, pulling himself closer to Lucifer, laying his head down on Lucifer’s arm
Lucifer considered pulling away in order to make his point, but paused when he saw that Alastor was close to tears. He softened. Mentioning Alastor’s mother could be a very positive thing, or a very hurtful thing. Today, its impact was loud. He ran his hand over Alastor’s crunchy curls, “I think you two could be good friends, Hon.”
Alastor doesn’t respond, his eyes distant, lost in a memory
Lucifer leaves him be, taking the cup and rinsing the flour off of the rest of Alastor’s body. Gently, he tilts Alastor’s head back, rinsing his curls, then digging his fingers in to make sure the water was fully soaking his hair
“Alright, c’mere.” Lucifer says, getting Alastor out of the now honestly kind of goopy water. Alastor gets in Lucifer’s lap, which Lucifer, while surprised, doesn’t protest to. Again, mentioning Alastor’s mother could lead to certain…well, consequences. The most common ones being a prickly attitude or a very clingy, very quiet deer. Obviously, he had the second one tonight. Lucifer drains the tub, washes it out, then fills it again, putting Alastor in for a proper bath
He starts by washing Alastor’s body, getting the last of the caked on flour off of him and bringing Alastor back to smelling like himself (Something he knows Alastor is grateful for, even if he doesn’t voice it), he lets Alastor handle washing the sensitive parts of himself, then starts on Alastor’s hair
Alastor’s curl type is 3B, so he only washes it about once or twice a week. Usually, Lucifer wouldn’t bother it, but the flour is clinging to every pretty little curl, and Lucifer can’t have that. So, he summons a shampoo he knows will work for Alastor’s hair and gets to work washing out the flour and stress of the day. Alastor is tense when he begins, but slowly melts, nearly purring. All his precious lambs love having their hair cared for. Only Nifty has ever admitted it, though
When Alastor’s hair is all clean again, Lucifer conditions it, using his fingers to encourage those pretty curls back. Alastor’s hair obeys, and Lucifer gets some absolutely precious little curls for his efforts, which makes him melt. Ugh, if Alastor knew how much his hair endeared him to Lucifer, he wouldn’t slick it back, that's for sure…
“Very pretty.” Lucifer praises, rinsing his hands off so he can rub at Alastor’s back
“Thank you…” Alastor mumbles in a downright sleepy tone, “I get them from Mère…”
Oh, Lucifer didn’t know that. No wonder Alastor is so strict about their care, “Well, I hope she’d approve of me taking care of them.”
Alastor just nods, his eyes blinking slowly. Damn, what a shame that Lucifer can’t just put him to bed when he’s so relaxed. Well, it was good to let him sober up and reset, at least.
Now, correction was needed
Notes:
WE HIT 4K HITS SO FAST WHATTTT?? AND 22 BOOKMARKS?? AND 130 COMMENTS?? AND 127 KUDOS?? AH YOU'RE ALL TOO KIND THANK YOU!! Spanking next chapter, and it's a good one! >:) See you then, friends!
Chapter 33: Pause
Summary:
Alastor gets spanked, scolded, and Lucifer begins to understand his upset
Notes:
Slightly shorter chapter today because it's been a busy day, enjoy my friends! :3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lucifer helped Alastor out of the bath, melting at the way his curls bounced when he moved, “Feeling better?”
“Mhm…” Alastor hummed
“Good! Good.” Lucifer said, letting Alastor pass in front of him before grabbing him back and scooping Alastor up under his arm, Lucifer holding his waist up while his front half was sent towards the ground. Lucifer adjusted him carefully, letting Alastor’s feet just barely touch the floor. Lucifer summoned a thick wooden spoon, turning it appraisingly in the light
“Your majesty!” Alastor squeaked, his face red
“Yes, Dear?” Lucifer asked, glancing back towards his lamb
“Can this not wait until I’m clothed?!”
“Nope. Spanking hurts worse on wet skin.”
“What-? OW!” Alastor whined sharply, squirming from the first strike
“See my point?” Lucifer asked, twirling the spoon playfully and striking Alastor again
“Your majesty, please, this is ridiculous-! OW!”
“Don’t beg, Sweetheart, that’s a waste of breath.” Lucifer hummed, striking Alastor twice more
“I’m not begging-! Ow! I’m attempting to have a rational discussion-! Owww!” Alastor whined, kicking his legs
“If you want to talk, count the strikes for me.” Lucifer said, smiling when Alastor went quiet, “Oh? Don’t want to?”
“Obviously not-! Owwwww! My god, why does that hurt?!”
“Wet skin.” Lucifer says simply, “And really, Alastor, back-talking me during your punishment? You know better.”
“I’m not back- owwww!”
“Alastor, Baby, Hush.” Lucifer said sternly, giving him a particularly hard strike to make his point
“No! I was justified! He called Angel a whore! He bugged your daughter’s hotel-! Ow, ow, Lucifer, owwww!”
“Don’t tell me no, Alastor! If you’ve forgotten your place, I will happily have you write lines until you remember!” Lucifer snapped
“But-!”
“In calligraphy!”
Alastor shut his mouth, pouting off to the side, out of Lucifer’s sight. Dammit, he really thought he’d be able to talk his way out of this one…
“Honestly, maybe some lines would do you good. This is your third spanking in a week.”
“Nine days.”
“You are being so fussy, Lamb.” Lucifer tsked, pulling up Alastor to better access his thighs, “Vox doesn't deserve all the attention you give him.”
“It’s hatred!” Alastor snarled, yelping when Lucifer attacked his sit spots
“Attention is attention. Stop seeking his and focus on mine.”
“I want him to leave me alone, Lucifer!”
“Then stop trashing him on your radio show!”
“He went at me FIRST! Do you know what he calls me?! A traitorous whore! You want me to not respond to that slander?!”
Lucifer pauses, taking a breath for himself. This was going nowhere. What to do…if he capped the punishment here, the bad behavior would double and bite him in the ass, likely in only a matter of days. If he continued, Alastor might feel unheard and withdraw from him. Which would also bite him in the ass…Lucifer takes another breath, then hoists Alastor up and into his arms, carrying Alastor to bed in a bridal hold and sitting him down gently
“…we’re finished?” Alastor asked, ears perking up
“No. But what you just said requires a pause. Put some clothes on.”
Alastor huffed, but did as he was told, walking over to Lucifer’s drawers and picking through them
“…you don’t want your own clothes?” Lucifer asks curiously
“You haven’t stayed the night by yourself, so everything in here is new.” Alastor mutters, snagging some boxers and then going through Lucifer’s t-shirt drawer
“Mhm…and you wouldn’t be doing this because my clothes smell like me, right?”
“Brand new. As I said.”
“You’d wipe your hands if the shirts were new.”
Alastor pauses, giving Lucifer a puzzled look, “I’d wipe my hands?”
“Y’know. That thing you do when you hate the texture of something.” Lucifer says, taking his hands and wiping them on his shirt, “Which you do to new shirts, because you don’t like the feeling of stiff, unwashed cotton.”
“I…”
“So all those shirts are my shirts. Boxers, sure, those are new. But the shirts I’ve had for a while.”
“…I didn’t realize that you…knew that…about me…” Alastor says, his tone surprisingly soft as he took out a shirt and tugged it on
“Of course I do. I'm not just staring off into space all the time. I’m looking at you, Husk or Niff.” Lucifer says, “And when you have to shake hands or touch something you don’t like, you wipe off the feeling.”
“…do you think it’s strange that I do that?” Alastor asks
Lucifer scoots back on the bed, motioning Alastor over, “Of course not. That's just you. I find it endearing.”
Alastor gets up with a sigh, walking over and falling into Lucifer’s arms, “…sometimes I forget that…you’re different from Vox.”
Lucifer pressed an affectionate kiss to Alastor’s forehead, rubbing his back, “And you get the urge to lash out?”
“Yes. I do.”
“That’s understandable.”
“I don’t like to be controlled.” Alastor sighs, drumming his fingers against Lucifer’s arm, “But the benefits outweigh the negatives.”
“Is this your way of apologizing for being bratty?”
Alastor huffed, glancing up at Lucifer, “It’s an explanation for the behavior you were frustrated with.”
Lucifer gave him a smile and another kiss, “Sweet boy.”
“…do I need to explain myself further?”
“No, Darling. I’m not mad at you.” Lucifer said, noting the slight bit of tension that left Alastor’s shoulders at that, “Go ahead if that would make you feel better, though. I know you like to ensure we’re on the same page.”
“…I…I’m quite protective over the others. And I’m learning tonight that that includes Angel. And you know that I still…carry things. From the past. From Vox. I’m irritated that he thought sending in a spy would work. I’m irritated that Pentious was smug about it. He’s no better than Angel. Insulting him in his home, with me right beside him…” Alastor sighed, grabbing Lucifer’s hand and shoving it up to his hair, “And I was so drunk…still drunk? I attacked him without much thought…”
“Mhm.” Lucifer hummed, carding his fingers through Alastor’s hair and petting up Alastor’s ears, deeply amused that Alastor had requested it so boldly
“I guess that's it. I was irritated. I still am. I feel justified, and I feel like you aren’t on my side.”
“Hm. Well, lamb, I can appreciate your urge to protect the flock. But you should have alerted Charlie to the situation. She could have searched Pentious.”
“I suppose…but calling Angel a whore…”
“That bothers you, doesn't it?” Lucifer asked, running his finger down Alastor’s spine
“You should’ve seen the look on his face when Pentious said it…” Alastor mumbled softly, his ears going back
“I tell you what, Lamb. I’ll make sure Angel gets an apology for that. And I’ll tell Charlie and Vaggie to keep their eyes out for more spying. But you still have to be punished for acting like a feral animal. Understood?”
Alastor sighed, squirmed a bit, then finally nodded, “Fine…”
“Good boy. Then let’s continue.”
Notes:
It is my nap time friends, so if the formatting is wonky, I will fix it later! I'll also respond to comments later, they delight me as always, hehe!! :3
Chapter 34: Author's note and cut scenes!
Summary:
TLDR: Author's life got busy, new chapter soonish, you can read things I cut from the fanfiction!
Chapter Text
Howdy folks! So I got a new job and life has been INSANELY busy since then! It's about to get busier, so I have no idea when the next chapter is coming out, to keep it real! As it stands, it's about 1/3rd done! I'm hoping to finish it up and release it very soon, but again, life is busy! Thank you all for the incredible comments, I read every single one, and I'll be online catching up on my replies for a bit after posting this! Also, to thank you all for your patience, here are some cut scenes and lines! I think reading cut content is fun, so here y'all go! :) Thank you again! I hope to be back posting the new chapter soon! :)
IPTDTAMTKYS CUT SCENES
You could wear it when Dad visits!”
“When. He. What.” Alastor chokes out, quietly willing his horns not to grow and his body not to crack open from the shock and anger filling his body
“When my dad visits! This is technically his hotel afterall! It’s my territory, but he had the hotel built for me! So actually I guess it’s our hotel-“
“When is he coming.” Alastor asks, trying not to tip the princess off to his internal rage
“Oh, I’m not sure! Dad kinda just…shows up!” Charlie says with a shrug
Oh, great. This is Lucifer’s hotel! If this place isn’t sparkling clean with a full bar and fully fixed by his visit-!
“By the way, does Nifty ever…y’know…sleep?” Charlie asks hesitantly, “Because her room is friggen sparkling but the bed looks untouched.”
Alastor takes a breath. Don’t lose it. Losing it is a sure fire way to be faced with Lucifer. If he keeps composure, then Lucifer has no reason to visit. None at all. Stay calm, and keep the princess happy.
“Nifty is incapable of telling when she is tired, inebriated or ill.” Alastor explains, scoffing slightly, “You’ll find her in two days tucked away in a closet or some other hidey hole.”
And Lucifer wasn’t entirely heartless about it, tucking the girl into bed whenever he found Nifty before Alastor or Husker did. But he knew she was scolded for it in the mornings, because she’d be clingy with Alastor instead of running her usual circles in Lucifer’s mansion. He allowed a bit of clinging, as long as she was quiet while he went about his own work in the mansion. Eventually, she discovered that if she laid on Alastor’s head between his ears and stayed perfectly quiet, she could stay with Alastor for an entire day…
In fact, one day in particular…
“Hey, Al! Have you seen Nifty?” Lucifer had called from the ritual room
Alastor hummed in acknowledgment, his audience offering up a chorus of ‘hmmm’s while he flipped through Lucifer’s day planner, “Not since this morning, your majesty.”
“Really?” He could hear Lucifer’s voice getting closer, and Alastor couldn’t help but stiffen up in response, “Because these candles are still out from-“ Lucifer comes into sight and stops, giving Alastor an unimpressed look, “So…you have no idea where Nifty is?”
Alastor turns his back, rolling his eyes, “Probably in a closet, your majesty. I haven’t the faintest idea otherwise.”
-
After only three rings, Lucifer picked up the phone, “Lucifer Morningstar.”
“Uh…hey, Mr. Morningstar!” Vaggie said awkwardly. Ugh, she had to work on being less nervous around Lucifer, it’s just…she shook it off. Focus.
“Vaggie! Hiya! What can I do for ya?”
“You can come down to the hotel and get these idiots in line-!” Vaggie seethed, then quickly pulled herself back in, “Uh…please. If you aren’t busy.”
“My lambs, you mean?”
“Ahem…yes. I'm trying to make a commercial. For the hotel. For…Charlie, but they won’t do it
-
Come with me?”
“No way, I'm not acting as your accomplice-“
“I cussed Vaggie out.”
“Bastard! Excellent work, but augh- fine, I’ll go with you, but I am not taking the fall for this!” Alastor huffed, taking a sleeping Nifty off of his head
-
Husk slammed the door on the way out of Lucifer’s office, cussing under his breath. That. Fucking. Hurt. Even worse, Lucifer had kept him back for a lecture about respect, then whined to him about Alastor not wanting to cuddle him. Husk would swear he was owned by a child sometimes…
He should find the others…
-
She let out a slight giggle, “I dunno how I missed it. It’s so obvious that my incredible girlfriend has been building friendships here. Friendships that I hadn’t even considered possible…” she gave Charlie an impressed look, “They’re fierce, aren’t they?”
“We have to be, here.” Charlie says softly, taking Vaggie’s hands, “We could lose all of our friends at any moment. That’s why the hotel is so important
-
Let’s end with news from The Esteemed King of Hell himself, Lucifer!”
Lucifer gave Alastor a confused look. When had he made an announcement?
-
Suddenly, his ears pricked up, and he stepped in front of Charlie and Sir Pentious, “Princess, just one condition for his entry, if I may be so bold?”
“Sure, Alastor!” Charlie said, eyes glittering
-
“We should prank call Lucifer…”
“…what.”
-
The line goes dead, and Alastor hangs it up, “He's coming down here.”
“WHAT?! WHY?!”
Lucifer appears in a pop of light and smoke, “Because drunk Alastor is hilarious. Hi, Darling!”
-
That’s not true…I said…a lot of things!”
-
Alastor’s ears go up, his eyes wide, his smile genuine, “I’ve never…done that before…”
“No shit?! C’mon, let’s find a phone!”
-
Prank calls.”
-
Lucifer felt his relief shift into slight worry. There wasn’t banter, or any noise from the radio…something still wasn’t right here…
So, Lucifer cuts it short
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