New Year's Wishes

by sadboyswoon

Summary:

He stared up at the ceiling as his brain ran circles around the fact that he and Mafuyu would be alone in his apartment tomorrow night, 100% unsupervised. He might have ulterior motives this time.

Notes:

It's been a year (almost to the day) that I posted my very first fanfic of these boys, and how appropriate that this piece has been a bitch to wrangle into something I was happy with!

One whole year of MafuYama fanfiction brain rot. Wow. Thank you so much for all the kudos, comments, and encouragement since. It has kept me writing and I'm even diving into original works, now. A 10-year hiatus from creative writing feels irrelevant to me now, because my creative capacity is well and truly back -- all thanks to Given and this fandom.

Big shoutout to my beta readers on this one. Y'all have been so, so helpful: Yare_yare_Yukina1123 and bunny_tales

Please enjoy <3

Uenoyama squinted at the bright light of his phone to check the time. 01:42. He sighed and plopped it back by his pillow. The blinds glowed as moonlight reflected off snowfall and into his room. Between the extra light and his plans with Mafuyu tomorrow, sleep had utterly evaded him. 

He stared up at the ceiling as his brain ran circles around the fact that he and Mafuyu would be alone in his apartment tomorrow night, 100% unsupervised. With Mafuyu’s mom working that night, Ue had offered to keep him company after his family dinner before they met Kaji and Haruki for the first shrine visit of the new year. He might have ulterior motives this time.

When he’d been there a few months ago, just hanging out and practicing, the air had grown taut every time they’d stopped playing.

~

“Again!”

Uenoyama sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor, guitar in his lap, as he barked orders and tried to avoid eye contact with his boyfriend. There was tension in the air, but he couldn’t quite place what kind or why. 

Mafuyu sighed and leaned back against the bed. They’d been at this riff for half an hour already and while he knew he needed the practice, they also hadn’t been alone together like this in at least a month — since their festival date. Between preparations for CAC, school, and work, they’d been in a perpetual cycle of sleep-school-studio-work for far too long.

“Uenoyama-kun, would you grab us some barley tea from the fridge? I’ll go over the riff one more time.” Mafuyu sat up straight and readjusted his guitar.

The request caught him off guard, and he transformed in an instant from drill marshal to blushing boyfriend.

“Oh, uh, sure. Yeah.” Ue untangled himself from the guitar strap and rose to his feet, feeling awkward. Should a guest really rummage through the cabinets and fridge? 

I guess since Mafuyu asked, it’s fine, he thought as he padded into the kitchen. Quiet jangs and twangs drifted from the bedroom. He couldn’t tell from here whether he got it this time. Maybe that was his plan, sending him out of the room to focus. 

Wait, so… does that mean he’s feeling this tension, too? The realization struck him so hard he nearly dropped the pitcher of tea. He carefully placed it on the counter and took a guess as to where the cups might be. 

A few minutes and a slightly frazzled search later, he stepped back into the bedroom, tea in hand. Mafuyu set his guitar aside and accepted his glass with a small smile, then patted the floor next to him in a silent invitation. Ue gulped, but sat down to lean against the bed anyway. 

“Thanks for getting these while I worked that out,” Mafuyu said, getting his feet out from under him to rest his arms on his knees.

“M-mm,” Ue said into his tea. That tension was back, hanging in the air like the buzz of an amp begging for a melody.

Mafuyu sipped for a few moments longer, then stretched to set it on his nightstand. He offered a hand to do the same for Ue, who hurriedly took one more gulp and relinquished it.

“So, sh-should we…” he started.

A hand on his stopped him short. A moment later, Mafuyu kissed his cheek, lingering there, as if gauging Ue’s reaction. 

He stiffened. His realization had been spot on, and he didn’t really know what to do with that. But the tingling urge he was now all-too familiar with was creeping up from his stomach, and Mafuyu pressed another kiss to his cheek — a little closer to his mouth now. A cautious question.

Instinctually, Uenoyama turned toward him, and Mafuyu’s lips were immediately on his. A quick, gasping inhale through his nose and then he was kissing back. Mafuyu smiled into it, lowering one knee and scooting closer so that their shoulders touched. He squeezed Ue’s hand, likely in the hopes of sending  him some reassurance.

As the kiss stretched on, Uenoyama was working up the courage to do what Mafuyu had before, as they’d kissed goodbye after the festival. But just as he started to part his lips, Mafuyu did the same. The sudden extra space where their mouths met wasn’t entirely foreign to him, but it did make him hesitate. The tiniest huff of a chuckle and Mafuyu’s tongue against his let that prickling urge flood his system, washing away the last of his lingering anxiety.

Mafuyu explored his mouth with more energy than the first time, leaning into him and even cupping his face with his free hand. It was almost overwhelming — but in a good way. He broke away for a split second to tilt his head the other way before diving back in for more. 

But Uenoyama wasn’t about to stay in the passenger seat this time. He pressed forward, swirling his tongue around Mafuyu’s and insisting on his turn to explore. He felt Mafuyu smile again, and it spurred him on. 

He couldn’t really keep track of what exactly he did, or what Mafuyu did; it was all blurring into one mutual sensation of warmth, dizzying and grounding all at once. Distantly, he thought it might be something like how melodies and harmonies blend into one sound.

Heavy breaths were all he heard, though, as Mafuyu tugged at his far shoulder, asking him to come closer, to face him fully. Ue shifted, uncrossing his legs to lean his side against the bed rather than his back, one leg bent up and over his boyfriend’s, fitting together like puzzle pieces. They were so close, it made his heart beat even faster.

Mafuyu ran his hand down his arm to rest just above his elbow. Was that another invitation? 

Uenoyama tentatively, and blindly, reached for Mafuyu’s side. The soft folds of cotton brushing his fingertips  told him he’d at least gotten close. The stuttered breath, and the tightened grip on his arm in response, told him that the touch was welcome. 

~

Shaking his head to pull himself out of the memory, Uenoyama found himself alone in his room with nothing but the moon for company. 

They hadn’t gotten much more practice in that day, and it had been very difficult to make himself pack up and go home for dinner. Tonight, he was in a similar situation to the one he’d been in then — and many other times since. Thinking too hard about Mafuyu late at night always led him to the same problem, which he had to take care of if he ever hoped to fall asleep. 

As he reached into his shorts, he wondered if Mafuyu thought about him, too.

~

The crunch of snow underfoot echoed in Ue’s ears as he approached Mafuyu’s apartment building. Last night’s snow had stuck, and while he had to admit it was pretty, it made the cold worse to be out in. 

But he was here now. His bag of combini snacks rustled as the wind cut through his black coat and turtleneck. It felt weird not having the barrier of his guitar to keep his back warm. He’d deliberately left it at home today — not because of ulterior motives, seriously — but because he didn’t plan to stay the night and didn’t want to bring it to the shrine.

His pulse picked up at the mere thought of staying the night at Mafuyu’s. He had to shake himself and take a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

Tiny scrabbles and yips drifted closer as Kedama raced Mafuyu to the door. A light thud told Ue that he had, in fact, won. One second later, the lock clicked and the door opened to a smiling Mafuyu, holding a panting, white furball. Kedama almost blended in with his thick white sweater.

“Sorry about him. Come in, Uenoyama-kun,” he said, opening the door wide and stepping out of the way. “You didn’t bring your guitar?”

Ue crossed the threshold and started pulling off his coat. “Yeah, didn’t wanna lug it to the shrine. Feels weird, though.”

“Mm.” Mafuyu did his best to conceal the mild disappointment that Uenoyama still didn’t plan on staying over. He knew it would take time before his boyfriend was comfortable enough for that kind of thing — he could tell Uenoyama hadn’t ever done much in the relationship department, but he wasn’t sure about the details. But it had been nice, sharing a futon with him that summer night.

“I brought snacks, though. Hope you don’t mind some combini leftovers.” Ue raised the plastic bag as if for inspection.

“Mm. Fridge?” He took the bag and headed for the kitchen.

“Nah, counter’s fine.” 

Why did this still feel awkward? He’d been here before. Sure, not often, but at least a few times over the last five months since they started dating. Maybe the lack of guitar really was weird. Did that declare his intentions too boldly?

With his outerwear and shoes discarded, he shoved his hands in his pockets and followed Mafuyu at a distance, lost in thought. Without his guitar, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do now.

Mafuyu was rummaging through the cabinets as Ue arrived in the kitchen. 

“Uh…?”

Mafuyu looked up from his search. “I think we’re out of cocoa. Do you wanna run out and get some with me?”

“Oh. Um, sure, I guess. I’m feeling warm enough without, though. Unless you want some?” He really didn’t want to turn around and leave right as he got here. 

“Ah, okay. Well, we could, uh…” Mafuyu trailed off, avoiding eye contact. Uenoyama scratched the back of his neck as the silence stretched.

Damnit, how do I do this? His skin prickled, ulterior motives pushing at the confines of his head and heart, but it seemed like Mafuyu might be trying to keep them occupied. Maybe he should’ve just dealt with hauling his guitar to the shrine, if it meant they didn’t have this weirdness between them. That’s generally how all of their other… encounters had started — kissing during a break from playing. 

“…see what Itaya and Ueki are up to?” 

Ue furrowed his brows for a split second before moving to lean against the counters next to Mafuyu. “I bet we’ll see them at the shrine tonight.”

“Right.”

Silence fell again, and Ue’s fingers twitched. He tried to steal a glance at Mafuyu’s body language, but he was too close now. Before he could stop himself, he sighed.

“I’ll make some tea,” Mafuyu said — did he sound rushed? — and turned to put the kettle on and find some tea bags. Ue stuttered out an agreement and moved out of his way, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Mafuyu sat down across from him as he waited for the water to boil, and Ue had a distinct flashback to their post-festival-date tea. It’d been awkward then, too. But months had passed since, so why was this so weird? He drummed his fingers on the table.

The noise may as well have been deafening. Mafuyu stared, wondering what had Uenoyama so anxious about being alone together tonight when it wasn’t their first time. Or their second. But if he wasn’t feeling comfortable, Mafuyu would do his best to get them out sooner, as much as he didn’t want to.

The kettle sounded, and Mafuyu rushed to pull it off the stove. Once it wasn’t screaming in his ears, he poured quietly, adding more sugar to his cup than Uenoyama’s, and moved back to the table. 

It did feel nice to have a warm beverage to hold, and Ue admitted as much. Mafuyu smiled at him and nodded. He was still glad they hadn’t immediately turned around and left, though.

It also helped to have something to fiddle with; they each bobbed their tea bags periodically. As they chatted casually about school and work, the stifling atmosphere eased, and Ue found himself leaning back in his chair, watching his boyfriend fidget with his cup as he complained about the Modern Japanese homework.

When he looked up and caught him staring, Uenoyama blushed and instinctively looked away, embarrassed to have been caught. He didn’t see it, but Mafuyu’s small smile was weighted with confusion. 

Finishing his tea, Mafuyu stood and put his cup in the sink. Ue followed his lead.

And here they were again, standing in the kitchen, unsure what to do next. 

Floundering and desperate to make sure Uenoyama didn’t feel pressured, Mafuyu said, “We could, um, see if Kaji-san and Haruki-san want to meet up earlier, if you like.”

What little ease had grown over tea snapped under the weight of that suggestion. Ue ground his teeth, and then snapped with it.

“I want to spend time with you! Just us! ” Realizing how angry he sounded, he paused. He’d directed that right at Mafuyu, with full eye contact. So he turned away and muttered, “Can’t we just… do that?” 

It took Mafuyu several seconds to process the emotions Ue just put on display. He so rarely said what he wanted when it came to anything but music that it was a bit of a shock.

"I thought maybe you were... uncomfortable?... being alone together still. You seemed anxious, so…" Mafuyu trailed off, fiddling with the edge of the counter.

Sputtering, Uenoyama had no reply, nearly choking on his own tongue as embarrassment writhed in his chest. Had he really been so obvious? The reason Mafuyu gave wasn’t exact, but it was close enough.

While watching Ue blush like a schoolgirl was entertaining, knowing that they were on the same page meant Mafuyu was done wasting time.

“I want…” he said under his breath. Uenoyama barely caught it, turning back toward him to be instantly pulled into a deep, breath-stealing kiss, tongue and all. His demand was so strong that Ue had to catch himself against the counters, caging Mafuyu in. It sent tingles up his spine.

It did not take him as long as it had taken Mafuyu to process — not at all. One of Mafuyu’s hands slid from his face into his hair and squeezed, and that was all the additional nudge Ue needed. He wrapped an arm around Mafuyu’s waist and pressed close, craving as much contact as possible. Conveniently, one hand on the counter and one around Mafuyu created excellent leverage for precisely that.

Most of the time, they’d started kissing while sitting on the floor — whether in one of their rooms or occasionally in their empty stairwell, terrifying as that was — so they hadn’t often been fully pressed together like this. It was intoxicating . He wanted to run his hands everywhere they could reach. Waist, back, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, hips, all of it. All of him. So much so that he didn’t even know where to start.

Mafuyu’s hands were far busier. One was still buried in black hair, the other slowly traveled down from his jaw, over his neck, collarbone, and then rested on a surprisingly (deliciously) firm chest. A hungry sigh escaped him, and he hoped it wouldn’t spook his sweet, virgin boyfriend.

The warm breath against his face didn’t even register compared to the distinct awareness of Mafuyu’s hand on his chest, a bright spot amidst the heat of everything else. It all felt hot, too hot, despite the cold of the kitchen tile, the counters, and the weather outside. And yet Uenoyama had no interest in cooling down.

They stood there, carefully exploring each other through shared breaths and the quiet rustle of hands on clothes and hair. Uenoyama had — at some point, though he didn’t know when — run his other hand up to the back of Mafuyu’s neck and pulled himself even closer. In response, Mafuyu slid his arms around Ue’s, too. 

The movement pulled at the sweater caught under Ue’s arm, and he instinctively adjusted to let it shift freely, moving his hand to Mafuyu’s hip. What he found there wasn’t fabric, but skin. His fingers twitched and pulled back, like a static shock had jumped between them. He hesitated, wondering if… if he could…

Mafuyu inhaled and pulled him closer, arms tightening around his neck and a hand going back in his hair. Ue took that as permission — even encouragement? — and slowly, tentatively ran his fingertips over soft, warm skin, letting them slide up and under the hem. The further he went, the more of his hand came to rest against bare skin. About half way up Mafuyu’s side, he stopped, overwhelmed and unsure of what to do or where to go from here; between the electric sparks of new touch and the taste of Mafuyu on his tongue, his head was swimming. What… what was next? And did he want it, right now? 

Meanwhile, Mafuyu was trying not to tremble. Those callused fingertips, a palm warm from holding a cup of tea, and Uenoyama’s broad chest against his were making it hard to stay calm. If this kept up, he was going to have a difficult time restraining himself. There was no way Uenoyama was ready for much beyond this. And that was fine — Mafuyu wasn’t in a rush, most of the time. But this much exposure to the heat of the blazing sun that was his boyfriend was going to leave him with problems he couldn’t solve unless he was alone.

His control wavered, and just as he snuck a few fingers under the collar of Uenoyama’s turtleneck — and about to bite his lower lip — the vibrations of multiple consecutive texts made them both jump. Ue nearly lost his balance as he frantically stepped back and pulled his phone out of his pocket, unsure if it was texts or a call.

He stared furiously at the screen. Yayoi. God damn that sister of his — even when she wasn’t here she was interrupting. But, at least it wasn’t a call. She was just making sure he got there since he hadn’t texted. Who was she, Mom?

Clicking his tongue, he typed out a curt reply and stuffed it back in his pocket before tentatively looking up at Mafuyu, still leaning against the counter.

“S-sorry… just my stupid sister checking—” he stopped short. Mafuyu was red in the face and panting, his lips slightly swollen and glistening with saliva. He burned that image into his brain immediately and then had to look away to save himself the embarrassment of staring. Did he look that way, too? 

“Th-that’s okay. Um, do you… wanna move to the couch?” Mafuyu wiped his mouth on his sleeve and pushed off from the counter.

Uenoyama’s heart, not yet recovered from the kissing and touching and closeness — and the jumpscare of his sister’s texts — nearly launched into space. 

“…for what?” He wanted to kick himself for how much his voice shook. Couldn’t he keep his cool around Mafuyu for one single second?

Mafuyu’s long pause did not help at all. In fact, the earth looked so far away from his current orbit. 

“Could, ya know, watch a movie. Listen to new music. Or something.” Mafuyu took his hand as he passed by and pulled him along, essentially catatonic.

What is “or something?!” all of Ue’s versions shouted around the meeting table in his head. No part of him wanted to be done with that yet, but the vast possibilities beyond felt huge and intimidating. What all had Mafuyu done before…? With…?

He shoved that thought aside. He didn’t need to know. Clearly, Mafuyu wanted to be kissing him, if the last few minutes were any indication.

Mafuyu plopped them down on the couch and grabbed the remote to start scrolling, curled up next to him, head on his shoulder. Uenoyama could have melted into the cracks between the cushions.

Unbeknownst to him, though, Mafuyu’s heart was in the stratosphere, right alongside Ue’s. If he didn’t calm down now, there would be some awkward bulges to contend with, and he really wasn’t sure Uenoyama could handle that.

A minute or two of slightly more comfortable silence passed as the boys let their breathing and heart rates slow down, pretending to pay attention to what Mafuyu scrolled past on Netflix. As Ue mentally scrambled for something they could do, it dawned on him that even if he didn’t bring his guitar, they could still work on music.

“Do you have the videos of our last few lives? We could watch those, maybe.”

Mafuyu couldn’t argue with that. At least he wouldn’t have to pretend to watch, then. “I do, yeah. Let me grab my laptop.”

He uncurled himself and headed for his room. He returned with what looked like an ancient middle school laptop on its last legs. The fan rattled furiously as the computer woke up.

They reviewed their last few shows, pausing every minute or so to point something out, chatting about how to better organize their set list, how far Mafuyu had come since their first live, and what their next song might be. The time flew by, and while Mafuyu was having fun, he couldn’t help but think about how Uenoyama had wanted them to be alone .

He shifted under the too-warm computer, one half resting on each of their laps, so that their legs touched. The grainy video version of Uenoyama started a cool riff, drawing Mafuyu’s attention. Something about his boyfriend’s presence on stage, even through a screen, was entrancing. He oozed confidence and style and talent in a way that was so different from Hiiragi and —

Oh. He probably shouldn’t follow that train of thought, but… it was interesting . Uenoyama’s confidence was quiet, subtle, reserved — at least everywhere but the studio. There, he was kind of an arrogant terror — not that he’d change that about him, though. He was more like Hiiragi in that way.

Yuki, though… Yuki had been loud, brash, and hyper charismatic. A terror at all times, in a good way. He had shined so brightly, like sunlight off of fresh snow, that it had been hard to truly see him. 

But he could see Uenoyama so clearly. Everything about him was real and genuine. He was kind, even when he was so flustered all he could do was yell. And bit by bit, Mafuyu was getting to see more of him; even today, when he caught himself yelling and dialed back. That was new, and he wanted to see all the new things Uenoyama would share with him.

Without thinking, Mafuyu sighed and said, “You always look so cool on stage.” He tilted his head and stared at the screen as video-Ue finished the riff. No need to hide how enamored he was here.

The leg touching his went rigid. Oops. He must have said too much. As he was about to wave off his comment, Uenoyama spoke up.

“…I’m right here, you know,” he muttered.

Oh, that wasn’t the response Mafuyu expected. He shot him a confused glance as he tried to figure out what exactly that meant. Ue seemed to have barely registered that he said anything at all.

“Hmm… you’re right.” Mafuyu shut the laptop and gently set it on the table in front of them, then proceeded to rest his hands and chin on Ue’s shoulder and stare.  

“What… what the hell?” Ue blushed as he craned his neck at an awkward angle to look at his very weird boyfriend.

“You’re here. Right now. And I’m happy about that.” He smiled softly, eyes squinting shut. It was so cute that Uenoyama could almost see the little spinning flowers radiating off of him.

A wave of tingling urge washed through his whole being, and before he even realized what he was doing, he had taken Mafuyu’s face in his hands and kissed him, long and slow. A small, surprised sound told Ue that Mafuyu hadn’t expected that — and maybe he was the weird one now, because he liked it.

Mafuyu’s hands slid, as if of their own accord, to wrap around Uenoyama’s neck again. It had been a while since he had initiated a kiss, and Mafuyu was more than willing to encourage it. He shifted to sit up a little more, so neither of them were at an uncomfortable neck angle, and then leaned into him further. 

Ue’s tongue grazed his lips, and he let out a loud breath through his nose as he happily accepted. He’d thought he’d cooled down enough since their time in the kitchen, but Uenoyama’s clear desire relit the flames as if they had never dimmed. He wanted to touch, to sink into his warmth and wrap his legs around his hips and —

The sensation of falling, of being more horizontal than before, shocked him out of his spiral. Had… had he pushed them down against the armrest? Or had Uenoyama pulled him? Was this… was this okay?

Mafuyu tried to pull back, but Uenoyama’s hands were still cupping his face, so he didn’t get far; their lips brushed as he mumbled, panting between words, “Is… are… ?”

He was halfway on top of him, Ue’s legs off the couch while Mafuyu was draped over his hips and pressed against his twisted torso. When Uenoyama nodded — to his boyfriend’s shock and delight — Mafuyu untangled his arms and adjusted, crawling up Ue and getting a knee under himself for better support, before being pulled back in by his face.

He hadn’t expected this to be okay. Uenoyama’s confidence level was unpredictable at best; what would or would not spook him seemed to fluctuate constantly, throwing off Mafuyu’s judgment. Where was the line? 

His thoughts melted away as one hand threaded through his hair and the other traced down his side to hold his waist. Mafuyu exhaled, loudly, and deepened their kiss, taking the lead from his boyfriend and having, perhaps, too much fun with that. He smirked, just a little, as a thrill ran through him.

With only one hand to work with — the other was busy holding himself up — he couldn’t quite do as much touching as he wanted. His fingers twitched, dying to feel that firm chest without the barrier of thick winter clothes. Mafuyu dragged his hand down and over to Ue’s hip — careful not to imply he was heading for a far more intimate area — and slipped his fingers under the hem of the turtleneck. 

Uenoyama flinched, and Mafuyu immediately withdrew, but paused as Ue whispered something. 

“Mm, just c-cold.”

“Oh, sorry. Can I still…?” Mafuyu fiddled with the hem, grazing warm, taut skin as he did.

Ue stared up at soft, pleading puppy-dog eyes. But hidden behind them, he caught a glimpse of something shimmering in firelight. Was that… desire? For the second time today, he wondered if that was how he also looked right now. 

He gulped once, then nodded. But Mafuyu did more than just run a hand up his shirt — he also dipped down to kiss his neck. 

“Hah!” The noise wrenched out of him before he could stop it. And as if he wasn’t already burning up — why had he worn a damn turtleneck? — embarrassment flushed through his whole face. He turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut — unknowingly making plenty of room and inviting more attention.

Mafuyu huffed against his neck. The sharp edge of his boyfriend’s jawline was prominent at this angle, and it almost made him shiver as he pressed his mouth against it.

Uenoyama did shiver as teeth nibbled at his pulse. Teeth! His grip on Mafuyu’s waist tightened, and he realized that he had another opportunity to feel more of him. So as Mafuyu’s hand — which was still cold but rapidly warming — inched closer to his chest, he gathered the hem of the sweater to reach under it.

He felt Mafuyu tremble as his shirt rode up to accommodate the angle of Uenoyama’s hand beneath it. Good, at least now he wasn’t the only one. But god, Mafuyu’s skin was like a furnace, one he would willingly burn himself on if it meant they could keep doing this. He splayed his hand out and ran it up as much of Mafuyu’s back as he could; it was so soft and delicate but also oddly strong — carrying a heavy Gibson around would do that, he supposed. Muscles rippled under his fingers as Mafuyu continued up his chest. He could do this all night and not ever want to stop. 

Meanwhile, Mafuyu carefully explored every line of Ue’s stomach, working his way up and across from hip to shoulder. As he got to his pecs, he reminded himself to be slow and cautious; don’t do anything that might freak him out — no matter how much he wanted to. 

He was surprisingly muscled for someone who wasn’t on a sports team. He filled out his broad shoulders nicely, and while he didn’t have defined abs, neither did Mafuyu — not exactly something he expected. But everything about him was strong and taut and so, so hot. How was he not sweltering in that turtleneck?

His hand came to rest over one pec and he sighed as he sucked what would probably be a hickey onto Ue’s neck. The other boy twitched below him, and Mafuyu smirked again. At this point, he almost didn’t care that there would be awkward consequences to deal with; he was ready to drown in this boy’s attention.

Uenoyama, on the other hand, was far more aware of the growing situation in his pants and potentially the one pressed against the outside of his thigh. It almost distracted him enough from how fuzzy his mind was getting, between the hand on his chest and lips on his neck. But he also really wanted to see how Mafuyu reacted to his own neck being kissed and bitten and sucked. What new sounds would he get to hear?

Bzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt.

Both boys froze. Somewhere amidst the couch cushions, a phone was ringing. Mafuyu finally released Ue’s neck and pressed up on his arms. Their eyes immediately snapped to each other as they silently figured out what to do.

Bzzzzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt.

Another second passed before either of them moved.

“I… think it’s between the cushions. Under… under my leg,” Uenoyama said as they slowly, reluctantly untangled from each other. When one of his hands was free, he covered his face as he tried not to turn inside out from embarrassment. Again.

Mafuyu nearly jammed his fingers on the phone while digging for it. He took a deep breath to collect himself as he answered on what was probably the final ring.

“Hello, Haruki-san.” 

Uenoyama groaned from the corner of the couch and Mafuyu had to suppress a giggle. 

“Mafuyu-chan! Seems the trains are running a little late from the snow. I’ll be late and so will Akihiko.” He paused, and Mafuyu could feel its loaded nature even without seeing his face. “Just wanted to give you and Ue a heads up.”

“…mm. Thanks. See you there.” He tossed his phone back on the couch and fell back against the cushions. Rolling his head over to the side, he caught Ue’s eyes, all full of awkwardness and irritation. The giggles he’d suppressed bubbled up and overflowed. What were the odds of being interrupted by phones twice in one night?

Ue snorted. “What?”

“Hopefully this bad luck of ours doesn’t roll over into the new year.”

He snorted again, blushing, but then chuckled quietly as he admired Mafuyu’s disheveled appearance. Hair sticking up and sweater askew — and yet somehow he still sparkled.

~

The chatter of a crowd drifted down from the shrine as Ue and Mafuyu waited at the entrance. It was snowing again, but it must not have stuck in this area; the ground was wet but mostly clear. Barely five minutes later, Haruki trotted up, panting.

“Sorry! Hope you weren’t waiting long. No Akihiko yet?” 

Just as both boys shook their heads, he turned the corner behind them. “You know, I half-expected you two to be too busy to show up.”

If Mafuyu didn’t know any better, he might have mistaken Uenoyama for a cartoon kettle, the way a flush of red rose up from his neck into his cheeks. 

Haruki stifled a laugh. “Nah, I called Mafuyu earlier. They couldn’t forget then.”

Uenoyama nearly found himself face down in the snow. It wasn’t the first time Kaji had said something so out-of-pocket that made him feel like dying on the spot, but it sure had been a while. And the one-two-punch of Haruki’s follow-up didn’t help.

Mafuyu, nonplussed, stared for a moment before turning on his heel and gleefully announcing that he wanted amazake. He turned back briefly, starry-eyed, and said, “Coming, Uenoyama-kun?” before hurrying off in the direction of the food stalls.

It took about one second for Uenoyama to register anything, but then, on wobbly knees, followed. “Oi! Don’t run off on your own, damnit!”

Kaji huffed. “You see the hickey on Ue-sama’s neck? Think he knows about it?”

Haru shot him a skeptical look and snorted. “Definitely not.” He pushed on Akihiko’s shoulder and said, “After you.” 

Uenoyama caught up to Mafuyu at the amazake stall and discovered that he had been right about seeing their friends at the shrine. Itaya waved at him excitedly and Ueki raised his head in greeting.

Mafuyu turned, smiling, and then spied the newly forming bruise he’d left there barely an hour ago. In a snap decision, he turned his back on their friends and reached to tug his boyfriend’s turtleneck higher, unrolling it enough to hide the evidence of their evening. As he pulled away, Uenoyama side-eyed him, confused.

He mimed tossing something to the wind. “You had something stuck to your shirt.”

“O-oh. Thanks.” 

He just nodded and turned back around.

Mafuyu had no idea how his new friends felt about same-sex relationships, but he wasn’t quite ready to have that conversation, and especially didn’t want to deflect it in public and make Uenoyama uncomfortable. He didn’t think they would be prejudiced, but now just wasn’t the time.

As he smiled and Ue joined their conversation, Ueki sought his eyes and held them, expressionless. Mafuyu just blinked at him. Was he searching for some kind of intent? Ueki was always the more observant of the two. Itaya would likely remain mostly oblivious until told.

…would they tell them? Before, Hiiragi had known, even if he never said anything. Should they have formally told him and Shizu? That thought felt like it might spiral somewhere dark — sparks of anxious fear flashed in his chest to the echoing soundtrack of “don’t repeat history,” “stop hiding,” “it’s your fault.” Would things have turned out differently if they had just said something?

“Mafuyu?” Uenoyama’s voice broke the spell he’d put on himself. “You good?”

He shook out his arms and nodded, pretending it was just the cold. What a strange connection to make and then get lost in.

Itaya pressed a paper cup into his hands. “Amazake will help with that!” he said, his overexcitement contagious. 

Mafuyu smiled and took a cautious sip. The heat that steeped through him did banish the cold, and the anxiety with it. He restrained a cringe as it occurred to him that it felt a little like holding Uenoyama.

“Mm, you’re right, it does help,” he said.

Ue watched closely, but ultimately said nothing. He hadn’t liked the way Mafuyu had gone still and blank, staring into space — much like how he’d been the night he slept over. His chest was tight with worry and a touch of helplessness, but he knew there wasn’t much to do, especially in public.

They parted ways with Ueki and Itaya and made their way back to their bandmates to wait in line for New Year’s wishes at midnight. While Mafuyu and Haruki cheerfully counted down to midnight with the crowd, Uenoyama and Kaji quietly announced the numbers in a deadpan expression behind them. 

When it was their turn at the shrine, they approached together, tossing their coins into the offering box and clapping and bowing twice. As they moved out of the way and headed to get their fortunes, Mafuyu couldn’t resist teasing Uenoyama.

“So, what’d you wish for?” He shook the omikuji tin and pulled out a rolled strip of paper before passing it to Ue.

“Idiot, you know you’re not supposed to tell.” 

Mafuyu chuckled. “I bet it was to win the next CAC, right?”

“No!” Ue blushed as he realized his reply was on the far side of defensive, and might give him away. “Yours was probably to actually pass Modern Japanese.” He barely shook the tin before grabbing a fortune.

“Pfft, not a chance. That’s hopeless.” Mafuyu waited patiently to open their fortunes together, but offered no hints about what he had wished for. “Ready?”

Ue nodded, and they unrolled their slips of paper at the same time. His face instantly fell, though he really shouldn’t have been surprised. 

He groaned and tipped his head back. “Minor misfortune.” 

When he looked over at Mafuyu, he was wearing a dopey smile and holding up “major fortune.” Well, he certainly deserved all the luck in the world, so Ue couldn’t even be upset about it.

They marched over to tie up Ue’s fortune — on Mafuyu’s insistence — and witnessed Haruki and Kaji open their fortunes. In a weird coincidence, they both pulled average luck. They shared a laugh and then all four of them made their way back to the entrance to call it a night.

“Get home safe, you two,” Haruki said, turning away with a wave.

“Yeah, be careful and all,” Kaji teased as he leaned between them. Ue’s ears burned and he found himself wishing he’d worn a scarf to hide his face in. Mafuyu just side-eyed him and said nothing.

When they were finally alone again — or as alone as they could be as other people filed out of the shrine — Mafuyu had to hold back how much he wanted to ask him to come back to his apartment and stay the night. 

Instead, he said plainly, “Wish we didn’t have to go yet.”

Ue seemed to still be recovering from Kaji’s jab. “Y-yeah…”

Why did Kaji have to break his boyfriend right as they were ending their night? Sighing, Mafuyu pulled him by the arm around the corner, where there were fewer eyes, and kissed him — lingering longer than he probably should have in public.

“I had fun tonight,” he said quietly as he gave Ue his personal space back. He thought maybe his ears were redder now than before. Oops.

“I… did too.” 

A weight lifted from Mafuyu’s shoulders and chest at Uenoyama’s agreement. He hadn’t been too worried about all the kissing earlier, but it had certainly been heavier than they’d ever done before.

“Wanna walk to the station together?” Mafuyu took a reluctant step toward home. With a nod, Ue joined him.

It wasn’t until they had said their goodnights — again — parted ways and boarded separate trains that Mafuyu remembered the mark on his boyfriend’s neck. And, really, it was probably best to send a text for this anyway; Uenoyama might have fainted if he’d said it aloud.

On a train going the opposite direction, a phone buzzed. Ue chuckled, assuming it was Mafuyu, and then had to stifle a choking gasp as he read the messages. 

Sato Mafuyu | 00:36
Btw
Be careful of your neck at home
There’s a mark

Uenoyama shoved the phone back in his pocket and stared hard out the window, watching the bare trees whip by. He’d be lying to say the evening wasn’t playing on a loop behind his eyes. 

Already, new things were blooming this year. The anticipation of what else it might bring hung firmly in his mind, a fragile bubble of hope, excitement, and anxiety all mingling and swirling beneath the surface.

Notes:

Will these boys ever get around to more? If I have anything to say about it, yes. But not without angst and drama, I'm sure lol.

Find me on Threads, Twitter, and Tumblr @sadboyswoon!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 5 of Given: Extended Mix