Dead Girl Walking (Rewritten)

by si_vis_amari_ama

Summary:

Dead Girl Walking, but if Veronica had gone to Chandler's house instead. (This is an altered version of the song lyrics with added stage directions as well.) I do not own the rights to this song.

Notes:

I heard of the idea for this but didn't know of a full set of lyrics, so I figured I should make it. If you all have any ideas for lyric changes, feel free to tell me and I'll edit if I like your ideas! Also, this had barely any stage directions (read: my commentary), but I'll probably write more of them in the near future. Thanks for reading <3

The demon queen of high school has decreed it
She says Monday, 8 am, I’ll be deleted
She’ll hunt me down in study hall,
Stuff and mount me on the wall
Thirty hours to live–
How shall I spend them?

I don't have to stay and die like cattle;
I could change my name and ride up to Seattle
But I don't own a motorbike–
Wait…Here's an option that I like:
Spend those thirty hours gettin'... freakayyyyyy!
Right?

~Veronica is obviously doubting herself and questioning her life choices at this moment~

I need it hard,
I'm a dead girl walking!
I'm in your yard,
I'm a dead girl walking!
Before you punch my clock,
I'm snappin' off your window lock.
Got no time to knock
I'm a dead girl walking!

~Chandler is lying on her bed when Veronica walks in and is understandably partly confused and partly in gay denial. The homoerotic tension in this moment has gone through the roof~

(Veronica? Why the fuck are you in my room?)

Shhhh!
Sorry, but I really had to wake you;
See, I decided I must ride you till I break you.
So you say I gots to go;
But you're my last meal on death row!
Shut your mouth and lose them lacy panties!

~Chandler agrees skeptically~

Come on!
Tonight I'm yours,
I'm a dead girl walking!
Get on all fours,
Kiss this dead girl walking!

Let's go, you know the drill;
I'm hot and pissed and plenty skilled.
Bow down to the will of a dead girl walking!

~At this point Chandler has thrown heterosexuality to the wind~

And you know, you know, you know
it's 'cause you're beautiful.
You say you're “Demon Queen”,
But I can't agree.
So the world's unfair,
Keep it locked out there...
In here it's beautiful.
Let's make this beautiful!

(Uh, that works for me!)

~insert the infamously 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 music break~

Yeah! Full steam ahead!
Take this dead girl walking

(Why'd you find my address?)

Let's break the bed!
Rock this dead girl walking!

(I think you tore my mattress!)

No sleep tonight for you,
Better chug that Mountain Dew!

(Okay, okay!)

Get your ass in gear,
Make this whole town disappear!

(Okay, okay!)

Slap me, pull my hair,
touch me there and there and there!
No more talking!
Love this dead girl walking!

Love this dead girl...
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

(Ow!)

Yeah!!!

~Heather and Veronica kiss one final time~