Chapter Text
This apartment didn’t have a clock.
Hellen hadn’t realized how grating the ever present ticking in apartment 33 was until she was able to spend time in a room without the constant, monotonous sound.
The regular scouting party, composed of Hellen, Leigh, Sam, and Joel, were all buzzing around this quieter home, systematically dismantling all traces of the previous inhabitants’ lives in their pursuit of any equipment that would keep them alive even a day longer.
Currently, Hellen was in the master bedroom with Leigh, sorting through a chest of spare blankets in the corner.
Why Hellen was put on the task of collecting the blankets they both knew Leigh was going to end up stealing for herself, Hellen had no idea. Leigh was instead rummaging around in the nightstands flanking the king size bed on the opposite wall.
The two had managed a good sort of equilibrium in the week and a half since meeting.
Of course there had been some hiccups at the start, conflicts over sleeping arrangements, arguments over Madwheels 97, and even one strange argument about Hellen’s mask, but by this point Hellen would consider Leigh a good friend.
Perhaps even her closest companion now. Who else would get that title? Sam? Ugh, he already had a best friend, or whatever Morton was to him.
But, tangent aside, Hellen and Leigh worked well together, and were almost always sent off as a duo to scavenge adjacent rooms nowadays.
Leigh wasn’t downright scared of Hellen like Sam was, but was still cautious enough to not bother her with incessant small talk or unrelated questions while she was trying to focus.
“Oh my GOD! HAH! Hellen, get over here!”
…eh, most of the time at least.
At Leigh’s sharp bark of disbelieving laughter, Hellen dropped the throw blanket she’d been looking over (it was very soft, but blue. Did Leigh like blue? Did Leigh like any color but red?) back into the chest.
She rose from her crouched position, ignoring the protesting in her joints as she rounded the bed to see whatever Leigh had deemed worth interrupting her over.
Leigh had seemingly abandoned searching the nightstands in favor of investigating under the bed, and was still halfway wedged underneath the frame, back half shaking with obvious laughter as she wriggled free.
“Heh, look at this.” Leigh finally snickered when she emerged from the dark. She was holding… something in her hand.
Hellen blinked once, twice, then furrowed her brow.
The object in question was… strange, in a way that made Helen feel like she was invading the prior residents’ privacy. It was long and cylindrical, made of some sort of purple rubber or silicone.
Hellen would’ve called it a dildo of some sort, but it seemed a little… unwieldy for that purpose?
There was no flared base or handle that would give any indication on how it was meant to be used. That, and it was covered in fine nubs that made Hellen cringe just imagining trying to use it, insertion or otherwise.
“Whaddya think—sex toy, or dog toy?” Leigh snorted, turning the silicone over in her hands.
“If those are the options, why the fuck would you grab it with your bare hands?”
Even as Hellen chided Leigh, she felt herself relax a bit. Ah. A dog toy.
She hadn’t even considered that, but she remembered there being a padded bed in the corner of the living room. Hellen had a dog growing up and, yeah, their toys could end up in weird places sometimes.
“Well - wait, no—“ Leigh sputtered, dropping the toy to the floor, visibly disgusted. “They probably, like, CLEANED it before putting it back, yeah?”
“Go wash your hands, Leigh.” Hellen shook her head with a soft huff of amusement. Dumbass.
But as Leigh scampered off with a squeamish whine, holding her hands awkwardly out in front of her like she was scared to spread the contamination, Hellen couldn’t quite look away from the dog toy on the ground.
And yes, she was going with dog toy: while the thing looked deeply unappealing for sexual use, those silicone ridges actually looked pretty satisfying to bite.
The more Hellen thought about it, the more confident she was in the assumption, and, surprisingly, the more her teeth ached with a desire to chew on the purple toy on the ground.
Not in its current state, of course: the thing was covered in dust and hair and still Hellen couldn’t shake the worry that if she was wrong and the old tenant hadn’t been super hygienic… eugh, gross, ending that train of thought.
In the other room, Leigh was still scrubbing her hands, muttering a creative sting of curses that the running water failed to fully muffle.
Hellen crouched slowly, tentatively reaching for the object.
She’d had an awful habit of chewing on stuff before the apocalypse. That’d been one of the nicer side effects of wearing the hockey mask all the time: she couldn’t bite her nails or the surrounding flesh on her fingertips anymore.
Which was good, as, with the sorts of things she was touching nowadays, sticking her fingers in her mouth was likely a genuine threat to her health.
But Hellen did sorta miss having something to bite, to absently work over with her teeth while she focused on other tasks…
And, ignoring the stab of self-loathing that came with the thought, a dog toy probably was the best bet she had for something that could withstand her new teeth.
The water shut off in the other room, and Hellen quickly made her choice: she scooped the toy off of the ground, wrapped it in the small blue blanket she’d been eyeing earlier, and stuffed the roll of plush fabric into her duffel bag.
She’d boil it or something later to get it fully clean (and maybe do some googling on Sam’s computer to ensure it really was a dog toy.
When Leigh came back in, Hellen was already kneeling in front of the chest of blankets again.
In her periphery, Hellen could see Leigh do a double take at the bare floor where the toy had been dropped, but thankfully she didn’t ask anything.
Hellen couldn’t quite articulate why she wanted to keep this thing, and while she trusted Leigh with a lot of things, acting normal about something like this was…
It was just better if Hellen kept this to herself.
—
Leigh practically skipped all the way back to apartment 33.
The scavenging trip had been quite successful, with Hellen and Leigh having found a good deal of new blankets and fresh clothes. Oh, and the others had found some good food and meds as well. But, more importantly: BLANKETS!
By the time the group reached the door to Sam’s home, Leigh was practically buzzing with excitement to tear through Hellen’s duffel bag for all the best, fluffiest blankets. The more padding between her and the floor, the better!
When Sam finally managed to fumble the keys into his one hand and unlock his front door, everyone wandered away to go do their own things:
Joel went off to the bathroom to start the arduous process of picking skin bits and scraps of tendon from his teeth, Sam went straight to his bedroom, presumably to show Morton the trinkets he had picked up during the days expedition.
That just left her and Hellen, who predictably went and sat on the couch, duffel bag on the coffee table in front of her, and started to unpack her haul.
Leigh flopped down next to larger woman with enough force to earn an audible squeal from the springs, and started rummaging through the bag right alongside her. Perhaps it wasn’t the most polite, but she’d done it plenty of times and Hellen hadn’t stopped her yet.
But, while she made no move to fully stop Leigh from snooping, Hellen did react a little oddly to the usual routine. As Leigh’s hands started searching the interior (mostly blankets) for a specific quilt she had seen Hellen pack away earlier, Hellen stiffened slightly.
Before Leigh could interrogate that, Hellen answered the main question she had by snatching up a smaller pale blue blanket and tucking it away on her other side.
Strange.
But Leigh knew better than to rock the boat, or poke the bear, or question Hellen, so she simply grabbed the quilt she had been searching for, and brought it over to her blanket nest in the corner to decide where it would be incorporated.
By the time Sam came out to start dinner, a contentedly chirping cricket hot on his heels, Leigh had commandeered over half of the salvaged blankets and expertly woven them into her new blanket fort.
…and Hellen still hadn’t done anything else with the blue blanket.
(Not that Leigh was looking or anything. No, Hellen would KILL her if she caught her snooping.)
But not-snooping aside, Leigh did catch how when dinner was brought to the table, Hellen made a point to tuck the rolled blanket back into her duffel bag before joining everyone else at the table.
Leigh was officially invested now. The more Hellen acted sketchy about the blanket, the more convinced Leigh was that Hellen had tried smuggling back something she thought people wouldn’t approve of.
She’s done it once before: Leigh had caught Hellen unpacking a fancy bottle of gin, and had managed to leverage (read: blackmail) nearly half the bottle in exchange for her silence.
Why Hellen wanted the alcohol to be kept a secret? Leigh had no clue. Maybe Sam had shown himself to be uptight about booze before, when Leigh wasn’t in earshot?
She wasn’t gonna question it though, not when it was benefitting her so greatly.
If Hellen was doing a repeat performance, Leigh was NOT missing out this time around!
Besides, this was the perfect time to prove she could be sneaky and subterfuge if she wanted to! She was starting to get the impression that the others thought she was a little… blunt.
So Leigh played nice. She played VERY nice!
She helped Hellen with dishes after everyone meandered away from the table—even if she did accidentally lose a knife in the sink, whoops—and even wiped down the dinner table!
When everyone settled in for a game of Madwheels, Leigh instilled herself as Hellen’s bodyguard for the first few races, warding off CPU and actual players alike (ehh, until she got bored and let her cart stray from Hellen’s motorbike to go knock Morton’s buggy in the river a few times).
All in all, she was a MODEL roommate and friend all night! By the time Sam and Morton retired to the bedroom for the night, the kids wandering in behind them, Leigh was confident that Hellen didn’t suspect a thing!
She bid the larger woman goodnight with her best affectation of a sweet tone, and the stakeout began.
—
Every tick of the clock set Hellen’s nerves tighter and tighter wound.
Everyone else had gone to bed, except for her. Of course, she wasn’t really ever going to sleep, but she hadn’t even gotten into position for her regular trance yet.
Whenever the duffel bag, slight sliver of blue a beacon within, was in her line of sight, Hellen felt the presence of that dog toy like a physical weight in her chest.
Why the fuck was she so nervous?
And why had she even bothered taking this thing back? That was the better question.
Her habit of needing to gnaw on something to keep her occupied had always been childish, but something about cleaning and repurposing an actual fucking dog toy to support the habit made it all so much worse.
What the hell could she even say if anyone caught her with this?
Hellen was bouncing back and forth between “we kill people every day; I saw Leigh eat an actual live roach off the floor yesterday” and “everyone’s gonna think it’s a weird sex thing and if anyone sees me with the most dildo-esque chew toy in my mouth I’m actually fucking hanging myself” so fast she felt like it would give her physical whiplash.
But, finally, the storm of embarrassment, frustration, and anticipation swelled to its peak inside of her, and when the clock ticked once again, Hellen shot off the couch with a frustrated grumble, pulling out the rolled blanket.
Carefully, as if rough handling of the packaging is what’s gonna get her caught, Hellen unfolded the plush fabric and uncovered the chew toy once again. It was grosser than she remembered.
Short pale yellow fur was coiled in between the bumps on the otherwise smooth silicone surface, further leading Hellen to confidently call it a dog toy.
Hellen picked off all the fur she could as she snuck into the kitchen. She took the pot Sam had used earlier to boil pasta off of the counter where she’d left it, and filled it with tap water. Hellen held her breath as she clicked on the burner, but with no sign of detection, she let herself relax against the counter as she waited.
With the stretch of time to kill, Hellen took a closer look at the toy, turning the colorful silicone over in her hands.
Even just running the pads of her fingers over the bumps and ridges of the toy was helping unravel the knot of tension in her chest.
She was drooling slightly at the idea of getting to chew on it once it was clean.
Perhaps tonight she’d let herself spend an hour or two reading one of those books she’d brought back. She hadn’t been able to focus on the writing for very long previously, but perhaps with a little extra stimulus she’d be more attentive.
Hellen was only brought out of her reverie when she caught the soft sound of bubbling from the stove.
The water had already reached a rolling boil—how long had she been daydreaming?
Hellen huffed at herself, and slipped the toy into the softly bubbling water. She would try and get some reading done while the thing sterilized, just one final glance over at Leigh’s bed, and—
Oh. Oh fuck.
The mound of blankets made it hard to discern exactly where Leigh was in her bed, but there was no mistaking the two wide yellow eyes in the shade.
Ah, Leigh was awake.
Leigh was looking directly at her.
Leigh had definitely seen when Hellen was holding.
Shit.
Shit.
SHIT—
“You’re actually gonna put it up your ass.” Leigh rasped. It wasn’t a question, wasn’t even an accusation. Just a simple observation.
“No.” Hellen replied quickly, hands moving uselessly in front of her as if she could physically bat Leigh’s words out of the air. “I’m not—it’s just—don’t be fucking gross.”
“I’M being gross?” Leigh laughed harshly, rising slightly from her den.
“It’s not a sex toy.” Hellen insisted lamely. “It’s definitely a dog toy. I was just—it’s only for…”
Ugh. This was it for her. Hellen buried her masked face in her hands.
She may as well just pack her shit now, no way Leigh was letting Hellen live this down.
“For what?” Leigh was sitting up now, the blankets falling from around her shoulders to reveal the oversized band tee she was sleeping in. How unfair of the world to make someone so dangerous that small and harmless-looking…
“What ARE you gonna do with it?” Leigh pressed further. The mask rumbled against Hellen’s hands with the sound of her low whine.
This was awful. This was humiliating.
It was probably best to just comply.
“…was gonna chew on it.” Hellen finally mumbled, tone sour and almost petulant.
Leigh stared blankly at Hellen.
Hellen stared pointedly at the floor.
The clock ticked.
“…are you a fuckin dog or something?” Hellen wilted further into herself. At this point, she was asking the same thing.
“I just like chewing on stuff…” she guestured weakly to her hands and the short, ragged nails on them. “Always have.”
“Huh.”
‘Huh’? What does that mean? Her heart was about to hammer right out of her chest. The shaky terror of not knowing what Leigh was thinking was about to actually kill her.
But, unfortunately, Leigh didn’t speak again for some time. And Hellen didn’t drop dead either.
Hellen just stood at the kitchen counter, gripping the cold marble so hard her knuckles whitened.
The next few minutes seemed to drag on for hours. Hellen did need to turn around to know that Leigh was still sitting up in bed, boring holes in Hellen’s back with her stare.
Ironically enough, Hellen’s response to the tension was to start grinding her teeth. Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely to have something meant to be chewed right now? God. Damnit.
After what felt like a solid half hour but realistically couldn’t have been more than five minutes, Hellen cracked, storming over to the boiling water and plucking the toy out with tongs.
She risked a glance over her shoulder and, yep, Leigh was still staring. Ugh.
Know what? Fuck her, actually. Hellen was a grown woman, she was allowed to do what she wanted.
Once she finished cooking the toy under the tap, she grumpily pulled her mask off and stuck one end of the dammed thing in her twisted maw.
She stood, shoulders hunched almost up to her ears and glaring at the wall, for a minute or two.
She was still boiling under her skin with a mix of shame and frustration, but she had to admit: she was right about it being a satisfying chew toy.
The silence, previously only punctuated by the ticking from the clock, was now broken by the occasional rubbery squeak as Hellen ran the toy over her teeth.
As her tongue ran over the ridges and grooves of the silicone, Hellen’s shoulders relaxed. Her breathing evened out, even as she now had to pant around the unwieldy chew toy.
Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Yeah, everything’s fine, this isn’t the end of the world (well except for the fact that it kinda literally is).
Eventually, Hellen felt calm enough to turn around and face Leigh again, only to start in surprise as she found the woman had moved.
Leigh was now sitting on the couch - Hellen’s couch - eyes still trained on Hellen expectantly.
“Ffug yew.” Hellen slurred around the toy as she approached her bed once more. “nod’a goddamn word to th’ othersh.”
“Heh, you don’t have any leverage.” Leigh chuckled as Hellen flopped down next to her, still sulking.
For what should’ve been a blatant threat, Leigh’s words held no bite. Her words were smooth and even, and she was simply staring passively at Hellen, eyes obviously tracking the way Hellen’s jaw was working over the rubber toy.
“…and?”
“Oh, I don’t need you to do anything, heh heh, sorry…” Leigh’s eyes didn’t leave Hellen’s mouth. “Actually almost the opposite?”
“Wha?” Hellen grabbed the end of the toy sticking out from between crooked fangs and slid the toy to the other side of her mouth, reveling in the sound and sensation of the thing sliding across her teeth. “Jus’ spiddit oud ‘lready.”
“I just wanna watch you chew it, heh.” Leigh said plainly, as if it was the most normal request in the world.
After a few seconds of silent confusion from Hellen, Leigh spoke again: “Your mouth is badass, heh heh, and I don’t get to see it in action much.”
The clock sounded so much louder in the awkward silence. What the fuck was Hellen supposed to even say to that??
Well, whatever keeps.. this whole ordeal.. between the two of them, she supposed.
“Hhh, okay?” Sure. Why not? This is already so fuckin weird, might as well!
“Cool.” Leigh scooted closer, leaning in and just staring.
After a brief pause, Hellen sighed, shrugged, and went back to gnawing on the silicone.
Fuck it—Leigh could be a weirdo all she wanted, it wasn’t gonna stop Hellen from appreciating the toy she’d worked so hard to get.