Chapter 1: day 1: family/april fools
Summary:
Mafuyu knows what a family is.
But what does it mean to her?
Notes:
to be honest for the first chapter, i went through a few different variations before i landed on this one. one of the variations i liked too much to just use as a prompt so i think im going to write that separately for something else
this chapter is only vaguely based on/inspired by the april fools 2023 event but isn't like fully in that world. also, i wont lie, im not really happy how this chapter ended up, but we ride!!!
i hope ya'll enjoy regardless <3day 1: family/april fools
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
What is a family?
Mafuyu stares at the words on the sheet as she accepts it from her teacher, not missing the knowing glint in her mischievous blue eyes as she continues droning on about the work.
“Now, I understand that this may seem to be a bit of a strange topic for an assignment—I’m sure you all know what a family is; I mean, we all have one after all.” The teacher says, her eyes shifting to the side as an unreadable expression takes over her features for a moment, her fingers idly playing with the ends of her long pink hair before she quickly turns her attention back to the class, the same smirk on her face. “But I want you to try and really think deeply about family—traditional or non-traditional—what it is, why it's important,” her gaze meets Mafuyu’s again, “and what it means to you.”
The bell sounds, signalling the end of the lesson, but Mafuyu finds herself stuck in a staring contest with her teacher, her eyes and smile calculating in a way that was off-putting. Her teacher is the first to break eye contact, “That’s all then! I expect this work to be done by the end of next week. Enjoy your lunch.” And she's gone, heels clicking down the hallway.
Mafuyu watches her go by, tearing her eyes away the moment she leaves her line of sight, and instead spares one last look at the work, eyebrows raised in thought, before gathering up her textbooks and placing them in her bag, getting up to head out of the classroom, ignoring the chattering and calls from her classmates as she mindlessly heads down the hallway and up the stairs, the assignment’s question weighing on her mind.
Realistically, she knows what a family is—parents and their children—and if you want to go a little further, you could also include grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even pets.
She knew all that, and yet…
“…yu?”
Mafuyu thinks about the deliberate looks and words her teacher had used. She knew that a basic description of a family wasn’t what her teacher was looking for.
“Ma…yu?”
But if not that, then what? What else could possibly be a family?
“Mafuyu?”
Mafuyu is dragged out of her spiralling thoughts by someone lightly shaking her. Blinking out of her stupor, her eyes focus on a curtain of white hair and a pair of blue eyes that sparkled with concern.
“Kanade.” Mafuyu says blankly. She takes a slow look around to find that she had somehow made her way to the school’s rooftop in her daze.
“Are you okay?” Kanade asks, her hand slowly falling down Mafuyu’s arm until their hands met, fingers gently brushing each other. Mafuyu’s heart bloomed with warmth from the simple touch. “You seem a bit… worried about something.”
“Yes, I'm fine.” Mafuyu responds bluntly, but one look at her friend shows that she isn't convinced, so she continues, “I’m just a bit confused about this assignment I was just set.”
“Is it something I can help with?”
Mafuyu ponders that for a moment. A part of Mafuyu feels that asking Kanade or even Ena or Mizuki about family may be a bit of a sensitive subject for them, but the other part of her feels that their insight may be able to help her uncover the meaning of her teacher’s words.
“What is a family to you?”
Kanade is taken aback by the sudden question, but her expression quickly returns to a kind smile, eyebrows knitted together as she turns to look at the cloudless blue sky through the chain-link fence.
“Well, I’ve talked about my family before—it had always just been me and my parents. My mom passed away when I was young, but she was very kind and would always put up with my antics but knew where to draw the line,” Kanade had mentioned before how she was a bit of a naughty prankster when she was younger, but looking at the frail, soft-spoken girl she was now, Mafuyu had a hard time believing that, “she was also the best baker; I always looked forward to the strawberry shortcake she’d make for my birthday. My dad is also a great man; he used to let me watch him compose music and be the first to hear it—alongside mom—and he had become the biggest inspiration to pursue music, and when I had told him, he had been the one to teach me how to play most of the instruments I play now. He had been so patient when I was trying to get the hang of some melodies.”
The smaller girl's smile turns strained, the blazing sun casting a shadow over her face, her eyes sparkling with what Mafuyu can only assume to be sadness. Instinctively, she laces their barely brushing hands together, giving Kanade’s a slight squeeze.
“I love them, and I always will—they encouraged me to continue doing music; they said I was blessed by it, and I was always so happy to see my mom smile when my dad composed her something or how they both cheered me on when I made them something. I don't think I would be where I am today without their push.”
Mafuyu frowns. She doesn't like seeing Kanade sad, it makes something in her chest feel hollow. She knew she shouldn't have posed that question to her.
“I'm sorry. I knew this would be a painful subject for you.”
Kanase turns to her quickly and grips her hand gently. “Don't apologise. I like talking about my parents; it helps me to remember their love and care.”
They both stand there in silence, watching the sky and the occasional bird that would fly by, taking in the sounds of the light wind and the chatter in the courtyard.
In this quiet moment, Mafuyu thinks about her family—she thinks about her mom and the beef stew she would make when Mafuyu had done exceptionally well at school or for her birthday; she thinks about the apple bunnies her mom cut up for her whenever she would fall ill when she was younger; she thought about all the little things her mom did for her to ensure she was cared for and looked after. She thought about her dad as well; he may not have been around a lot due to work, but she thought about how he would always hold her hand to sleep when it was thundering; she thought about the little tokens and souvenirs he would bring back from business trips; she thought about how he was making an effort to make up for lost time.
Mafuyu also thought about the pressure and the expectations and the arguments, but she shook her head before her mind became too clouded.
She thought about all of that and despite how things have changed—for the better or the worse—and how painful and difficult things had become…
She still loved her parents.
The thought both clears her head and causes a dull throbbing pain in her chest. The confliction must have shown on her face because she feels the white-haired girl lean into her side, her thumb gently stroking along the back of her hand. They stay like that for a while longer, basking in each other's presence, but the silence is eventually broken by the smaller girl.
“You know, I think there are other, non-biological or non-typical ways that families can exist.” Kanade says, and Mafuyu lets out a hum, her cadence indicating both interest and for her friend to continue. “To me, I don’t think family are just the people you are related to, I think they are people you find and make connections with, people who encourage you to go further, to chase what you want to do and believe in. They are people who will fight for you and who you will fight for. I think a family are people who love and care for you and are with you every step of the way, even if you try to push them away, or you fight, or are separated by distance.
I think family can be who you choose them to be.”
You can choose your family? Mafuyu had never considered that as a possibility. She had been so stuck on the idea of family in a traditional sense that she couldn't understand what her teacher meant otherwise.
Though if that's how Kanade sees family, how does Mafuyu see it? Does she see it in the same or a similar way? Or does she see it differently?
She wasn't sure, and just as her face scrunched in thought, it was immediately forced to a halt when the door to the rooftop aggressively burst open, the sound of harsh footsteps and hysterical laughter following through it.
Looking towards the sound, Mafuyu sees Ena stomping towards them, her face contorted in annoyance, as Mizuki trails behind her, her arms around her stomach as another fit of giggles overtakes her.
“Ena, please, I'm sorry.” Mizuki says between laughter, not an ounce of sincerity in her voice.
If looks could kill, Mafuyu was sure Mizuki would have perished a thousand times over with how severely Ena glared at her, though Ena’s glare only made Mizuki double over in laughter again. The two previously lone occupants of the rooftop watch their two friends in silent amusement, though concern does show its way onto Kanade’s expression.
“What happened?” the white-haired girl asks cautiously.
Ena turns to Kanade, her glare softening somewhat as she lets out a tense sigh, “It’s nothing, this idiot just pulled some stupid prank on me.”
“Come on, it was a little bit funny.” Mizuki tries to defend herself, putting her hands up in defence when Ena turns sharply towards her, though her mischievous grin does not recede.
Upon a slightly closer inspection of the artist, Mafuyu notes the presence of bits of colourful paper streamers stuck in her short brown hair and decorating her school uniform. She finds herself smirking to herself—maybe the prank was a little funny.
Ever the mediator, Kanade speaks up gently, trying to mask her own amusement, “Ah, how about we settle down and enjoy our lunch—we’ve only got so much time now.”
The group nods in agreement, and they gather around to sit in a small circle. Food was shared between them, and smooth chatter filled the air as the girls caught up with each other's lives, talked about their day, what happened in their classes—Mafuyu skirted around the topic of her assignment—and plans for their next hangout, Mizuki mentioning something about a ‘double date’ to Phoenix Wonderland.
The atmosphere, Mafuyu thought, could only be described as warm and inviting. Oftentimes when she was around these three, she realised that the heavy feeling that accompanied her everywhere would lift off her shoulders, replaced with a gentleness that she never knew she craved.
She wondered…–
“Oh! Before I forget. Mafuyu,” Mizuki says, getting the attention of the purple-haired girl, pulling out a small tub from her bag and handing it over to her friend, “I got these fruit gummy things from the store earlier, and they’re like super tasty, you should really try one.”
Mafuyu accepts the small tub, barely missing the mischievous glint in her friend's eyes, though she chooses to ignore it as she inspects the inconspicuous item. Giving a slight shrug, Mafuyu goes to open the tub.
“No, wait! Mafuyu!” Ena reaches out a moment too late as Mafuyu releases the cap off of the container, strange, colourful cylindrical items shooting out of it with a pop!
A screech of laughter sounds from opposite her, Mizuki slapping her hand on her leg.
“April Fools!” Mizuki says in between her giggles, the grin on her face undeniable.
Mafuyu stares dumbfounded—out of the corner of her eye, she can see the exasperation on Ena’s and confusion on Kanade’s faces, though mild amusement sparkles in their eyes—as she tries to process what just happened, eyes shifting to the colourful items spread around them.
Slowly, she feels a pleasant thrum in her throat, a delightful sound escaping her lips.
She was laughing.
The others look at her for a short moment before joining in, the air around them filled with the sweet melody of their laughter.
Mafuyu’s laughter was the first to die down, but the others continued in their merriment, and as her eyes swept across each of their faces, their soft smiles and the way their eyes crinkled with enjoyment lighting a familiar warmth in her chest, she thinks she understands what Kanade meant about family.
Without any of her friends, she’s not sure where she would be now; perhaps she’d just be a husk of expectations, moving to the demands of others, or maybe… She forces that thought to stop before her heart grows cold. Her hand instinctively finds Kanade’s, lacing their fingers together and leaning into the smaller girl's side who recuperates, leaning her head against Mafuyu's, both basking in the other's presence.
“I think it’s the same for me.” she breathes out softly, her breath tickling the side of her friend’s face. She doesn’t need to clarify what she means; Kanade understands, she always does. Mafuyu feels her friend nod, squeezing her hand gently as she hums melodically.
Mafuyu closes her eyes, listening to Kanade’s tender song and the harmless bickering of Ena and Mizuki. If she could, she would live in this moment forever, surrounded by the three most important people in her life.
With them she knew what it meant to be loved and cared for unconditionally. With them she knew what family meant to her.
Notes:
yes, mafuyu's teacher was, in fact, luka.
in this world, the vs' were all teachersanyway, i hope ya'll enjoyed!! im really excited for the next chapter
Chapter 2: day 2 - sick/knight
Summary:
A bedridden knight and the cleric who ensures she stays put.
Notes:
i wrote this chapter when i was ill with the flu so anytime i had to think about how mafuyu was dealing with being ill i would just think about how i was feeling at the moment
oh you silly silly knight..day 2 - sick/knight
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
To say Mafuyu felt pathetic right now would be an understatement.
She is supposed to be the most talented, gifted and strongest knight in the entirety of the Kingdom of Henosis. She is feared in the battlefield for her brutality and respected among her company for her tenacity. Her successful campaigns against beast and men and enemy kingdoms alike had earned her prestige and she has earned countless medals for her heroism.
And yet here she lay, bedridden, struck down by a measly flu.
It felt embarrassing, really. Mafuyu had tried to insist that she was fine, that she could keep up with her normal activities but was proven wrong again again; one incident happening at the training grounds when she had been sparring with the young Shinonome when a coughing fit had overtaken her, forcing her to drop her guard leading to a painful thwack of a wooden sword against the side of her face. Another incident had been during patrol when she had been chasing a common thief when a sudden wave of light-headedness had hit her—made slightly worse by the sparring incident earlier that day—stopping her in her tracks as she fell to a heap on the ground, her patrol partner asking citizens to go find help for her and he continued the chase. Eventually, other knights had shown up and taken her to the infirmary where she has found herself confined to since.
Sunlight starts to stream through the window causing Mafuyu to squint at it, a throbbing pain coming from behind her eyes. Groaning, she slowly turns, as if not to irritate her aching bones and ringing head, her back to the window and her bedsheet dragged over her head, a feeble attempt to block out the sun.
She stays like that for a while, staring at nothing in particular, sneezes and coughs periodically tearing through her, irritating her already grating throat.
Eventually, she hears light footsteps from outside her room and the sound of her door opening. In an attempt to make herself look presentable, Mafuyu tore the sheet from over her head and turned onto her back, ignoring how the light hurt her eyes and the simple movements caused a surge of pain through her body.
Her eyes land on the newcomer, seeing the white-haired cleric she has gotten to know over the last few months.
“Kanade? Why are you here?” She asks, not harshly, but out of genuine curiosity. “I didn't think they would send a cleric to deal with a flu patient. I thought this would be more for an ordinary nurse.”
“It is,” the cleric says simply, moving closer to the bedridden knight to place a tray, that carries a bowl of soup, a roll of bread and a simple cup of water, onto the bed side table. ”and they didn't send me—I came of my own volition.”
Mafuyu eyes the nurse, the confusion evident in both her face and voice, “Why?”
Kanade smirks slyly, “Because I knew that if they just placed any old nurse in charge of you, you would have already found a way to sneak out under their watch and attempt to continue with your duties.”
Mafuyu's eyes darted away, unsure if the heat coming from her cheeks was from her illness or from embarrassment. The cleric wasn't wrong; there had been numerous times where she had been placed out of commission because of injuries but still slipped out under the watch of her nurses to continue with her activities but ever since Kanade had started taking care of her, she was persistent with her care for the knight, always successfully locking her down until she was better, so much so that she essentially had become her personal cleric.
Not that she minded. Something about the cleric’s presence seemed to always put her at ease, though she couldn't place what it was.
“Now, come on, you should eat something to try to get some of your strength back.” Kanade says, breaking the knight out of her thoughts.
Mafuyu nods lightly, ignoring how her brain banged against her skull and how her body screamed in protest as she tried to slowly move into a sitting position.
Suddenly, she felt arms around her, helping her up. Normally, she would reel back at someone placing their hands on her, quickly brushing them off, saying that she can help herself. But with Kanade it was different; her touch had a certain gentleness and care that Mafuyu had become addicted to, craving that light touch and the warmth that would bloom on her skin from the touch.
When Kanade’s hands receded, a coldness spread in Mafuyu's chest causing her to frown slightly, though the cleric does not go far as she grabs the bowl of hot soup and hands it to Mafuyu, alongside the spoon.
The knight takes the bowl gratefully, immediately spooning some up, blowing on it, and popping it into her mouth. When she swallows, she grimaces slightly at the feeling of her scratchy throat but relishes in the heat of the soup as it passes down.
The two sit in amicable silence as Mafuyu continues eating, swiftly getting through the rest of the bowl and taking the piece of bread from the tray and using it to wipe up the remnants of the soup to eat. Kanade, meanwhile, was reading a book she had brought with her, its cover a simple, plain purple hardback.
“What are you reading?” Mafuyu asked.
The cleric looks up at the knight, closing the book and turning it around in her hand, “It’s called This Night That Binds Us ; it’s a fictional story about a group of girls who had found each other through music, meeting in the night as they learn to face their struggles and continue living together. There are other things in the story, but I’m omitting them because of spoilers… in case you wanted to read it.”
Mafuyu hums hoarsely, her interest slightly piqued, “Maybe I’ll borrow it after you have finished it.” Though her thoughts wander elsewhere.
Connected by music, huh? I wonder if such a thing is possible. Somewhere, deep in her heart, she feels a pang of something , a sense of familiarity to the story flowing through her. Her head begins to throb in pain so she gives it a light shake, diverting her thoughts to elsewhere.
“You mentioned once before that your father was a bard, correct?” Mafuyu asks suddenly, surprising the cleric.
“Ah, yes, I did say that, didn’t I? He’s fairly well known among the lower class as he’d always frequent the streets or the various taverns around to perform. He’s really one of the best musicians I know; he believed music had the power to soothe an ailing heart so he always ensured that his songs never failed to strike a chord deep within anyone. He was very dedicated to his craft as well, spending sleepless nights composing a new song, but despite that, he always made sure he made time for me. Not only did he teach me everything he knew about music, he also taught me how to read and write, how to cook, how to care for others and how to stand up for myself.” Kanade says, the smile on her face being the most tender thing Mafuyu thinks she’s ever seen. “He can’t play like he used to anymore, not since his condition has rendered his fingers almost useless.”
“Is that why you became a cleric?”
“Oh, no, no—what he has isn’t something superficial that a cleric can heal instantly, all he needs is time and steady treatment. I became a cleric because my mother was one; she was intent on saving people, being with them and helping them through their struggles.”
Mafuyu nods her head understandingly, “I see. Do you make music yourself?”
“Ah, not as much as I used to but I still dabble a bit when I get a chance too between my duties. I think music is important but I want to be able to do something more tangible to help people.”
Mafuyu hums and they fall into silence, the only noise coming from the distant chatter outside and the rhythmic tapping of Kanade’s fingers on her book.
“How about you? Why did you become a knight?” Kanade asks innocently but Mafuyu’s expression becomes tight.
“My family comes from a long line of powerful and respected knights; before me was my mother and before her was her father and so on, I am only continuing the Asahina legacy.” Mafuyu says automatically, the last part sounding almost practiced.
The cleric's eyebrows drew together in concern, ceasing her tapping, “Was there… something else you wanted to be?”
The knight turns toward the other, her eyes dull and her stare blank, “This is all I have known, all I have been brought up to do—there is nothing else.”
Kanade looks away, a silent ' I see' escaping her lips as silence falls upon them again, this time more tense.
“Is there anything about it you enjoy? Something about your work that makes it worthwhile?” Kanade asks after a while.
Mafuyu ponders the question for a moment, “Perhaps there are… I do like helping people, I think , and I believe my work as a knight is crucial in keeping the people safe and I think sometimes that it is enough for me. My company also has some of the best people I know—strong, brave, a nuisance sometimes but they are nice to be around, and they are extremely reliable people.”
“Has there been any adventures or quests with your company that particularly stuck out to you?”
Mafuyu turns back to the cleric, clearing her pained throat as she prepares to regale her companion in a short anecdote, “There was one quest me and my company had been sent on a few months back—to slay the beast lurking in the Sorrowind Valley. Legends have said that those who come into proximity of the Valley start experiencing feelings of despondency and despair, worries and insecurities being dredged up from deep within them, slowly overwhelming them and it only gets worse the closer into the Valley you get, hence its name.
I have never believed such claims but as my company closed in on the Valley, I started noticing changes in the demeanors of the knights; they started mumbling to themselves, unsure and degrading words, they became slower and lethargic, bemoaning the point in anything until some started to have breakdowns. It only started with some of them when we were still a bit way out of the Valley but as we got closer, it started to effect more of them to the point we had to send them back out or leave them in a safe spot—if you can consider anywhere in that Valley ‘safe’—until returned for them after completing the quest.”
A cough tears through Mafuyu’s throat, interrupting her story. Kanade grabs the forgotten cup of water on the tray and passes it to the knight, who drinks from it but grimaces as it passes down her sore throat before continuing.
“In the end, it was just myself and a young new recruit, Akiyama Mizuki. I was unsure about her ability but she had graduated top of her class and was recommended for my company so I had high expectations for her during this mission, especially with how it turned out and I had to rely on her to watch my back. To say she smashed my expectations and then-some would be an understatement. When we had found the beast of the Valley—a great big serpent—she displayed skillful and quick movement of her feet, an accurate precision with her bow that I haven’t seen since Hinomori, and a technique with her sword that I had never seen before. She was also extremely adept in making sure I was safe, drawing the serpents attacks or causing distractions.
We were successful—clearly—and as we returned to the others we noticed that the feeling of dread that had overcome them slowly dissipated from them and we were all able to return home mostly unscathed. I did ponder for a while as to why Akiyama and I were unaffected by the presence in the Valley but I can only assume that we both bare our struggles and insecurities on our shoulders but continue on living despite it, meaning that the presence could not take advantage of them and weaken us.
It does lead me to wonder what Akiyama is dealing with and as her Captain, I would like to be able to help her, but I shall wait until she is comfortable with telling me.”
“That sounded quite intense, but I’m glad you both made it back safe. I think I would like to meet this Akiyama if she’s as amazing as you make her out to be.” Kanade says, smiling.
“Perhaps you will, if you are so insistent in looking after my health.” Mafuyu responds humorously, her own small smile appearing on her face.
Their eyes lock for a moment and Mafuyu can see the way Kanade’s sky blue eyes sparkle with mirth and care, crinkled slightly because of her soft grin. Mafuyu decides then that she wants to see that smile on the cleric's face always as a feeling of warmth spreads in her chest, rising up to her cheeks.
“The work of a knight can be difficult and grueling,” Mafuyu starts suddenly, surprising even herself, “but it is all worth it if it means protecting the light of this world so that you—and everyone—can continue to smile.”
It was Kanade’s turn to blush now, her eyes widening in astonishment as she was stunned by the proclamation. Her eyes soften after a moment, her smile tender and kind.
“It would not be worth it if you were to die to make that happen.” Kanade says quietly, carefully standing up from her seat. “Live on so that we may continue living together.”
Something new glimmers in Kanade’s eyes that Mafuyu couldn’t quite place but she keeps the image of it, as well as her words, locked into her heart.
“I have to go attend to my other duties for a bit. Please try to continue resting and don’t try to sneak out, I will be coming back soon.”
“Of course, don’t worry too much about me.”
Kanade smiles at the other and suddenly, without warning, she leans down and places a gentle kiss on the knight’s forehead causing the knight’s body to heat up exponentially, this time she’s sure it’s not because of her illness. Kanade pulls away quickly, taken aback by her own action, her face just as red as Mafuyu’s.
“A-anyway, I should go now! Rest up and I’ll be back!” Kanade stammers out quickly, rigidly moving her way to the door.
Mafuyu watches her race to the door in stunned disbelief but manages to shake herself out of her stupor just before Kanade leaves.
“A-ah, Kanade, wait!” Mafuyu calls out, ignoring how voice cracks. Kanade, halfway out the door, turns to her, eyes locked as she waits for the knight to continue. “When you come back, maybe you could show me some of the music you’ve been working on.”
Kanade’s body untense, her small smile kind but awkward as she nods her head. “Yes, maybe…”
And with that, the cleric was gone.
Mafuyu allows herself to relax back into the bed, downing the rest of the water. It was nice being able to speak with Kanade—they barely saw each other outside of when the cleric would look after Mafuyu’s injuries so there talks tend to be limited because of time and though they learned a bit about the other during those moments, it was never enough, so it was nice to have the opportunity to learn a bit more about her. It made the knight’s heart feel full and her chest light.
She was looking forward to seeing her later.
Feeling her flu acting up again, Mafuyu quickly grabs a handkerchief from the bedside table and sneezes into it, groaning at the pain from her throbbing head and aching throat.
“I really hope I didn’t get Kanade sick.”
And she did get Kanade sick, unsurprisingly.
But it was worth it as everyday until the cleric got better, her knight stood by her side at any moment she got, ensuring she recovered fully. Their talks and stories and dreams for the future taking them deep into the night.
Notes:
i enjoyed writing the like role reversal here, with kanade now being the one trying to make sure mafuyu gets rest and stays healthy instead of the usual other way round...
i love them so much..
also shoutout to mizuki for being the goat, i needed to write her being badass and shitanyway, hope u enjoyed!! until the next chapter <3
Chapter 3: day 3 - DNA/guilt
Summary:
Kanade was cursed but maybe that girl could save her.
Notes:
im gonna be so real with ya'll, when i was writing this i for some reason thought the prompt was curse and not guilt and i really couldnt be bothered to rewrite the whole thing, so i kinda just tried to shoehorned the guilt prompt in there
anyway, enjoy <3
day 3 - DNA/guilt
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kanade knew she was cursed.
She knew something was so incorrigibly wrong with her. That there was something deep and unknown within her. Something that is so intricately part of her being, present in the building blocks of her being, intertwined in her very own DNA.
She didn't know when it started; maybe when her mother passed? Maybe earlier, from the moment she was born? It didn't matter in the end anyway.
All she did was hurt the people close to her, scaring them away, tearing apart their trust in her, becoming a harbinger of misfortune. It was part of who she was.
But another part of who she was, something that tied her whole being together, was someone who helped people, who had to save them. Maybe it was something she learned early in life that she liked doing. Or maybe it was just poor attempts to make amends for her sins.
The ideals were conflicting but she was intent on helping people whilst keeping them safe from her; so she learned to keep her distance. She would meet someone, learn of their struggles and figure out a way to help them, all the while keeping them at an arm’s length, shutting off any attempts of anyone trying to know her. It worked for a while; she had helped an artist reconnect with her brother who had thought her dead long ago; she assisted an heiress standing up to her father and his corrupt treatment of his workers.
It had been going so well.
Until she met her.
It had all come crumbling down then.
That girl’s troubles weren’t something she was able to find a solution for as quickly as she did the others, they were more intense—far more deep and despairing—they screamed of a life left wandering lost in the dark, searching for meaning, losing its purpose, giving up on a start and begging for an end.
At some point, Kanade had realized that they weren’t too different from one another.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, frustration building from her lack of progress, and time she would normally be uncomfortable with spending so much with someone. But this girl was different; she didn’t care if Kanade disappeared for days at a time only to reappear randomly to learn more about the girl’s struggles to try to figure out a way to help her.
Eventually their infrequent meetings became far more common, from seeing each other twice a week to every other night to every night under the cold moon. They wouldn’t talk much, just sat within the vicinity of the other, basking in each other’s presence and the cool night air. It was calming and peaceful if Kanade allowed herself to admit.
However, she couldn’t help the feeling of guilt that ate away at her for enjoying this, for thinking that maybe she could experience a semblance of peace being with someone. She felt guilty for letting herself feel close to the other girl, knowing that in the end she would just hurt her like she’s done so many times before.
But then, suddenly, one night the girl’s pristine hands threaded through Kanade’s long, tattered white hair, thoroughly undoing every knot through each brush, a pleasant chill running down her spin from the gentle touch and from how the other girl’s breath tickled her neck as she whispered, “You should take better care of your hair.” Kanade could only nod slowly in agreement, melting into the touch.
The girl had also allowed Kanade to touch her hair with her gritty and grimy hands, and though hesitant at first, she ultimately allowed her fingers to nervously flow through the girl's perfectly soft strands of beautiful purple hair; it had almost felt like petting the kitty of the tailor she had once helped.
Their closeness started to escalate a bit from there as they became more intimate with each other; leaning on each other, disregarding personal space; tightly holding hands, fingers desperately intertwined; humming desolate melodies together, songs of despondent despair.
Time passed them steadily by and the next thing they knew, winter was close approaching, the nights becoming colder, and so, on a whim, Kanade had taken the girl to the old, rundown shack she had been calling a home for… how many years? She wasn’t sure anymore, she had lost count long ago. They stumbled through the darkness of the shack together until they made it to the bed, making themselves as comfortable as they could in the rickety old thing.
They laid there, side-by-side, staring at each other; Kanade’s dull, desolate blues meeting the other’s mesmerizing, crystal purples that melded with a frosty blue. They stayed like that for a while until the other girl shuffled closer and, on instinct, Kanade did the same until eventually they found themselves enveloped in each other’s arms, clinging desperately to each other as another night passed by them.
The guilt in Kanade’s heart kept growing meanwhile, as she allowed herself to indulge further into the girl’s presence. She knew it was wrong to let herself relish in these moments, knew that it was selfish as all it was doing was putting the girl’s life in danger. But she couldn’t control herself; she craved those tender touches and soft stares and whispered words that never failed to send a chill through her entire body. She wanted to be with her, by her side, even after they had solved her struggles.
It was terrifying, being this close to someone.
Lodging in that shack had become the norm as the winter months dredged on, either the girl would come straight to it, or Kanade would meet her in that same clearing in the forest before walking back together. Things had stayed the same for a while; they would sit, chatter lightly, maybe eat, before they would retire for the night, holding each other tightly as they slept fitfully.
But the girl had once again, unexpectedly, caused a shift in their relationship.
"I think I like being with you."
They had been sitting in the old cabin, cuddling by the flickering flames of the fireplace, drowning in each other's warmth in an attempt to escape the cold of late winter when the girl had spoken up, her statement simple and straightforward, as if it was the most certain thought she's ever had.
"H-huh?" Kanade stutters dumbly as she turns to the other, their eyes locking, and Kanade sees how her eyes sparkle with something unfamiliar.
“When I’m with you, I feel safe—as if my troubles are just mere inconveniences in my way to get back to you, they do not weigh heavily on me when I’m with you.” The girl continues, her voice low and serious, though a hint of yearning melds its way in. One of her hands reach up to cup Kanade's face, her thumb stroking the slowly heating up skin. Kanade's body stiffens, her eyes drifting the the thumbs movement before returning to the others gaze. “I feel cold when I have to leave you to return home, and I spend every moment of the day aching for your warmth, for your touch, for your melodies. I care for nothing more than being by your side.”
The girl’s other hand now cups the other side of Kanade’s face who stays frozen, staring in astonishment at her speech.
“Please, let me stay by your side forever.”
And with that, Mafuyu closes the distance between the two, their lips crashing together in fervent desperation. Kanade only allows her surprise to control her for a second longer before her body untenses and she reaches her hands up, threading them into Mafuyu’s perfect purple locks, kissing back with the same urgency.
The kiss is sloppy, neither used to such intimacy, and they pull away for a moment to catch their breaths before greedily pulling each other back in for more, Mafuyu’s hands now finding her way into Kanade’s dishevelled hair as she tries to pull her impossibly closer, as if they could merge into one. They would part and reform, again and again, uncaring of the unbearable heat building up in their body, all they cared about was how the other tasted, addicted to the sweetness of the others lips.
Kanade felt a pang of anxiety run through her the longer the kisses went on for but, for the first time in the longest time, she allowed herself to lose herself to her greed, to indulge in something she had deprived herself of for years and so she swallowed down her guilt and anxiety to continue enjoying this moment. She finds herself laying on the ground with Mafuyu on top of her, her hands gripping her hair gently and Kanade snakes her hands onto Mafuyu’s waist, keeping her steady. She hums into the intense kiss, the feeling vibrating between the two of them. Her senses slowly started to dull, her mind overwhelmed with the passion, but she didn’t mind, she knew that no matter what, Mafuyu would always be there so she allowed her mind to drift off, to be guided by this moment of desire.
Kanade was never good at controlling herself, after all.
The first thing Kanade notices when she returns to her senses is the smell of tangy iron. The next thing she notices is just how cold she was.
Slowly, she opens her eyes only to fleeting darkness, the only source of light coming the early morning sun as it creeps through the windows.
“What?” Kanade says in confusion, her voice hoarse.
Her mind felt frazzled, and her body numb. She looks around herself for a moment, trying to process what was happening when the familiar feeling of trepidation settles in and suddenly she snaps back to reality.
“M-Mafuyu!” She calls out, ignoring how dry her throat felt. She slaps her hands on the ground to get up from her kneeling position (when had she been kneeling?) to search for the purple-haired girl when her hand presses into something warm and sticky.
She lifts her hand to her face, seeing how it was now dyed a deep crimson. The dread in her heart almost bursts out as she shakily focuses on the sight before her, her hands flying to her mouth as she gags violently—her body threatening to expel what little she has in her stomach—and tears pricked at her eyes.
Before her, half illuminated by the rays of sun and laying in a pool of her own blood, was Mafuyu. Her pristine skin was pale and was stained head-to-toe in soot and snow and blood, her beautiful dress and immaculate hair scorched and dirtied. Her eyes were dark and dull, their purples and blues shadowed from the light of day.
"M-Mafuyu...?" Kanade is barely able to get out as a a quivering hand brushes a few strands out of the mentioned girls face before threading her stained fingers into her matted purple locks, its feeling of softness long gone, as she studied her lifeless features, noting how her eyes, strangely enough, held a kindness to it and her lips curved into a small, tender smile. Confusion ran through the white-haired girl; why did she seem so peaceful when she had died so horribly? Why did she seem so happy when the person who was supposed to save her had killed her? Why did she seem like she had forgiven her already?
Kanade didn't deserve that.
She didn't deserve such kindness and forgiveness. She was a loathsome monster who only knew how to take and take and take.
Suddenly feeling disgusted with herself, Kanade pulls her hand away, ignoring how cold Mafuyu's cheeks—that had been so full of life not so long ago—felt as her hand brushes by them for a moment. But she continues to stare at her unchanging expression, her lips trembling as tears began to fall.
"It's all my fault... I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Mafuyu." Kanade mumbles out in repetition in between sobs. “I knew this would happen, and yet…! And yet, I allowed myself to think I could be happy, that I could indulge myself in the warmth of your presence and the gentleness of your touch, that—for one fleeting moment—I could allow myself love and be open with someone.
… I'm such a fool…”
Kanade could no longer hold herself back as she crumbled into a heap, curling up over Mafuyu's unmoving body as violent sobs wracked through her body, her wails continuing far into the day until long after her tears were spent and her throat ran dry.
The guilt of her sins pressed into her heart and tied around her neck like a weight, this time ten-fold than what it was before.
She had known that something deep within her was undoubtedly wrong, its presence scary and unknown and yet so tied to her being, seeping in and infecting her DNA.
Kanade knew that she was cursed and she was foolish to think she could escape it.
Notes:
she couldnt save her 💔
i feel like there are some things that didnt make sense or maybe felt too vague and if thats the case and anyone wants that cleared up lmk :)
the rest of the chapters mayyyy be late, im out of town and i refuse to upload on my phone (tagging feels weird on mobile) but i'll see what i can do