Always darkest before the dawn

by SeaweedWitch

Summary:

Post Maelle's ending Verso wakes to a world changed ,Sciel pregnant with his child and an overwhelming feeling of not belonging. Lune is trying to find her role in this new world. As the two travel on a new expedition what they find will change not just their world but eachothers lives and the true fate of the canvas in the future.

Chapter 1: There will be no miracles here

Summary:

Verso awakens into a new world created by his 'sister' he adjusts really well...

This story will tackle canon thoughts on suicide and delve into the darkness at times. There will be balance though so it's not all angst - promise :) Take care of yourselves! x

Sunlight warms his skin. Soft covers envelop his body. The soft rustle of pages of a book turning greet his ears. Maybe if he didn’t open his eyes he would fall back into nothingness. There’s only one person who would stay at his bedside and it’s the one person he least wants to see.

“I know you’re awake Verso? Do you want me to just stay and read?” Maelle’s soft voice breaks the quiet. He could sit in the tension and suffocating silence forever ,he finds himself petty and wanting to hurt her even if it’s in such a small way. Yet he can’t do it.

“I told you. I never wanted this.” His voice is croaky from disuse. He’s not sure how long he has slept. He remembers their final fight. Bloody. Desperate. Heart shattering.

He turns to look at his younger ‘sister’. Her kind blue eyes look down at him as she grips her book so tightly her knuckles have turned pure white. He stares at her hands more intently as if he might catch a glimpse of oil paint. He sees nothing ,no evidence to reinforce that this world is less real. Maelle tightens her jaw as she seems to be thinking of the right thing to say but they both know there is no answer that will satisfy them both.

“I want to gain your trust again. Show you what I’ve changed about this world. Made better. Please?” Her voice wavers on the please and he finds himself looking away from her face. Taking in the room it almost looks like the manor but not quite? The room is a similar size to his childhood room but he lays in a large double bed. Side tables grace each side of the elegant bed while an empty fireplace is opposite the bed. To the right is a large window and a couple of cosy looking armchairs in front of large bookcases. A grand piano stands in the corner of the room as well as a record player and records on top of a chest of drawers to the left of the fireplace. The room is tastefully put together with obvious thought of items he may like placed gently around the space. It doesn’t feel like he belongs here. He finds himself staring more into the empty fireplace than anywhere else in the room.

“Fine.” It’s a short response but all he can muster in answer to Maelle’s question. She gives a small smile as she gets up to leave.

“I’ll leave you to get ready. I put lots of choices of clothes into the chest and wardrobe.”

He nods but knows he will probably just end up choosing something simple. He gets up but his body feels heavy. All the sleep he most likely got and it's like he’s been awake for days. Walking around the room his bare feet make no sound as he goes to stand in front of the elegant chest of drawers. He pulls a plain white shirt as well as black trousers from the recesses. Maelle had put coloured shirts and far more interesting items inside. It was most likely a kind gesture but it feels like a mocking attempt at trying to give him choice. But not of anything of import.

Once dressed in simple clothes he throws on some plain black boots as well as a plain black long coat. He walks out into the corridor to see Maelle had waited leaned up against the wall. She straightens up as she starts to guide him down stairs to the main door. He glances around and it is the manor they find themselves inside but Maelle has made adjustments more to her own taste. There are more bookcases and warm colours dotted around the main foyer. She leads him to the door before stopping suddenly.

“After you.” She gestures towards the door and he's confused at her sudden dramatic flair as if he’s meant to be impressed. He sighs as he opens the door walking out into the light of the day.

He walks right into the heart of Lumiere. The door of the manor leads straight into the bustling city centre. Where there are multiple fountains between little stalls and performance artists gather crowds of families. The noise feels deafening compared to the silence of the manor. Maelle sidles up beside him taking in the sight. A warm smile tugs at her lips as she looks around.

“How long have I been asleep?” The question is asked so quietly he’s surprised Maelle hears him over the crowds of humans ,Gestrals and Grandis alike.

“I wanted things to be perfect for when you woke up. It’s been four months.”

Verso grimaces as he thinks about how much time that equates to in the real world for Alicia. He also finds it morbidly funny how she thinks there will ever be a version of the canvas that he will find perfect.

Maelle turns so she's in front of him ,her eyes searching for what he isn’t sure. She turns away as she leads him through the centre of activity.

“I wanted our home to be in the heart of the city. There are bigger markets near the pier and there's travel between here and the islands. Nevrons still haunt the lands but people having a purpose to explore and defeat the neurons gives more purpose than for everything to be peaceful all at once. Lune heads a research team with her parents to catalogue the nevrons left and map the continents more fully.”

Verso finds a hitch of disappointment in his heart to hear that Lune fell so easily back into the shadow of her parents. He hopes she still makes time for music.

As they continue their journey now into the streets where flower garlands branch across rooftops mixed with 33 flags.

“What story did you tell the inhabitants of the canvas?”

Maelle purses her lips as she seems to pause a second to think of her answer.

“Only Lune ,Sciel ,Monoco and Esquie know the full truth as well as yourself. Everyone else believes that expedition 33 succeeded and with my final blow against the paintress that I took some of her power and I can with the right information about the person and energy can bring them back using her dark power. So only a half lie ,a kinder truth.” He had hoped there would be more guilt to her voice but there is only a calm demeanor.

“Do they grow old now? Do I?” He needs to know the answer to this. What she has decided regarding this will shape his thoughts of her going forward. How lost in the canvas is she?

“They can age. So can you. But I haven’t removed your invulnerability. That remains.” Maelle’s voice has taken a hard tone as she makes direct eye contact. He does not break the eye contact ,the challenge.

“So it seems we have plenty of time.” He doesn't keep the bitter tone from his words as Maelle gives a sarcastic short laugh as she breaks their eye contact.

“Yes what a travesty…”

They have made their way to what seems like a main street of some sort where horse drawn carriages can come and go.
“Where are we going exactly?” He asks plainly as he looks out onto the pier ,markets and then to the sea.

“To visit a friend.” It's all of an answer he gets as they climb up and into a carriage where Maelle asks the driver to take them to the farmlands. He has a sinking feeling he knows exactly who they are going to see. He just wonders why it’s Sciel who they are going to see first? Is she the only one willing to speak to him after everything that happened?

The carriage ride is quiet and they sit in an almost awkward silence watching the scenery go by. Eventually they pull into sprawling farmlands. There are animals ,crops and flowers. So many beautiful species are cared for with great love by the canvas inhabitants.

They pull up in front of a big but not ostentatious farmhouse. There is a garden with more beautiful flowers and an outdoor seating area. Maelle walks up to the house with an ease that only the familiar exude. Like she's been here hundreds of times. Like she made it most likely. He can’t help the bitter thoughts from infecting his mind even in calm moments like this.

Maelle knocks on the door and is greeted by a tall brunette man who smiles kindly.

“Sciel ,Maelle and Verso have arrived!” He calls back into the house cheerfully.

“You can get settled at the table and I’ll bring lemonade and cake out.”

He turns back into the house to get the items. Verso’s heart aches finally having met Pierre. Kind and handsome and all the things that Verso can’t be.
He wants to leave but still finds himself sitting on one of the white wooden seats. Maelle sits as well looking over at the butterflies and bees that are going about their days in the flowers. It’s when he's turned to look at the insects and flowers that Peirre and Sciel have arrived, lemonade and cake in hand.

When Verso turns to look at the couple he has to try and school his features as he takes in the fact that Sciel looks visibly pregnant. In his silence Maelle has thanked the couple for hosting them and for the beautiful refreshments. Verso meanwhile still can’t find his words as he looks at his friend.

“You’re not very good at pretending today it seems?” Sciel’s words brought him back to the moment as he blushed in embarrassment. Pierre and Maelle chuckle at the interaction.

“I actually asked Maelle to bring you here to discuss this. I never asked Maelle for a second chance with our potential child. I decided to mourn the potential with Pierre and start again ,honest and new. But after our dalliances, when I quite frankly thought I may die that same year ,it seems there was a consequence to our actions.”

Verso listens intently to Sciel’s words as she explains while holding Peirre’s hand. And then the words hit him like a Nevron’s rage inspired anger. His child? No not his. Sciel and Peirre’s. They would raise the child and he would stay as far away as possible. That would be the best outcome here. Go and live out his time in the wilderness.

“Verso?” Maelle places her hand on his arm to bring him back into the conversation. Worried glances are shared as he then makes eye contact with Sciel.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. I took your opportunity to have a child together as soon as you were reunited.” Sciel shakes her head in frustration as she takes control of the conversation again.

“Verso ,you don’t have to apologise. This child will be loved and taken care of and Peirre and I can try again after. We have time now. I want you to know this child ,for them to know you. I know it’s a lot to take in so take some time and come and talk to us when you have a clearer head.” She smiles in her understanding way as she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand comfortingly. Or it’s meant to be comforting. His skin feels like it’s itching and he wants to be anywhere but here.

Maelle can obviously sense the change in his mood and she makes their kind and quiet exit as she promises to keep an eye on Verso and come back in a few days. The two of them get into the carriage again but after a little while Verso bangs on the top of the carriage to stop. He throws himself from the cabin and runs over to the grass to be sick but nothing comes out. He just dry heaves as Maelle runs her hand up and down his back like a mother he never truly knew.

“I need to be alone. Please Maelle. “ He begs as he stands up to make eye contact with his ‘sister’.

“I’m trusting you. I’ll see you back at the manor ,you remember the way?” He nods in assent to her question and she gets back into the carriage. He makes his slow way along the side of the road as the sun sets. The air feels lighter now that he's alone. But with being alone comes his thoughts like a crashing wave threatening to drown him. You won’t make a good father. Sciel is much happier with Peirre. She was never happy with you. Julie was never happy with you. No one has ever been truly happy with you. Just a weak copy at best. A shadow of a better person.

The thoughts are a bleak companion for his travel back to the manor. His eyes linger on the pier as he walks back and finds his meandering leading him to the edge. The edge is dark into the sea and the city is quiet in its embrace of nighttime. He longs for the darkness again. The void.

Letting himself fall into the sea is easy. Letting the breath leave his body. Knowing that he will come back is cruel to his actions. But for now the thoughts are quiet. His mind is empty.

He wakes not to choking up dark water but to being cradled gently in soft hands. He knows this body.

“Strange night for a swim swim mon ami?” The kind voice of Esquie rumbles through his body with him being cradled. They walk back up to the pier and he again is lost for words as he looks at one of his oldest friends as Esquie gently places him back on the ground. They then sit in a warm silence as they look up at the stars and moon.

Esquire walks him back to the manor and there still haven’t been any words exchanged. It’s unlike his friend or maybe it’s exactly like him. He always does what he can to help him and maybe he realised he needed the quiet or maybe he’s completely overthinking this and Esquie just dances to the beat of his own drum.

“You know you can talk to me whenever you want mon ami? Maybe just not tomorrow though because I’m taking people from the research academy to the mainland.”

“I appreciate the sentiment old friend.” He knows he should thank him but the words won’t come. Why can’t he get the words out properly today? He just wishes Esquie a goodnight and wanders back into the manor. He tries to be as quiet as he can but Maelle must have been waiting up for him. She looks down from the top of the stairs where he had been making his way up. There's no way to lie about the wet clothes or where he's been. She looks disappointed but doesn't say anything as he quietly passes her to head to his room. He changes out of his wet clothes but does no more to dry himself and just curls into bed. He hopes this is some sort of bad nightmare or that Maelle will come to her senses and leave the canvas so Renoir can come in like a scythe and purge this place.

Chapter 2: On the road

Summary:

Verso awakens with a new plan in his mind but he'll have to confront Lune to get anywhere...

Sunlight warms his face as he awakens. Tired from his first day ‘back’ he forgot to close the luxurious curtains. Verso stares blearily outside as he listens to the quiet hum of the markets being set up outside in the square. The house itself is quiet and he finds himself listening for any soft footsteps out in the corridor. Waking himself up is no easy feat but he has a plan to enact. Unfortunately he will need to convince the research expedition to allow him to travel with them to the mainland. The cowardly part of his brain wants to skip talking to Lune but she will most likely be the main organiser. There also might be the issue of Gustave but he's hoping the other man is more on the teaching side of things.

Escaping his quarters is harder than he thought it would be when he finds out that Maelle has locked his door. Frustrated, he turns away from the door to inspect his window. With his use of a chromatic summoned sword he manages to pry the window pane open. Looking down into the quiet street he then assesses how long a drop it would be. He may be invulnerable but it would still hurt a lot to drop that far. Carefully he starts his climb out the window taking his time to find the perfect footholes. It takes an embarrassingly long time to make his way to the ground and the anxiety of missing the expedition is lingering at the back of his mind. It’s still early enough that there aren't many people to witness his strange escape, which is his saving grace. Silently he makes his way towards the research building that Maelle had pointed out on their tour.

It's a steeper climb towards the grand building and Verso has to pass through a more residential area where families are getting ready for their work and school days. He finds himself focusing on a father neaten up his son’s school uniform before gently patting the small boy on the head. Verso doesn't really like to think about his childhood because it wasn’t really his. Anything before the fire is the original Verso’s memories but he longs for before he found everything out. For the moments when he could look fondly on memories of a young Verso and Renoir getting ready for his first day of school or joking while waiting for Aline at prestigious art events. Now what he's stuck with when he thinks of his father is the memories that accompany the scar on his face. Lingering in bad memories won’t help his plan so he mentally shakes his mind free as he continues his journey to the research building.

When he gets to the front of the building he is met with the chattering of voices in excitement and his large friend blocking his view of most of the expeditioners.

“Mon Ami!!!! What are you doing here?” Curse Esquie and his curiosity. As the embodiment of the sun announces his presence to the small group gathered at the Research building’s steps he slowly makes his way closer to the group. Lune meets his gaze with crossed arms where she stands facing him while talking with who he guesses are her parents? There’s only so long he can look into her disappointed dark brown eyes before he starts to back track on his plan. Before he can start to come up with a back up plan a warm hand is placed on his shoulder.

“I don’t think we’ve met in person yet have we? I’m Gustave.” The warm eyes and warmer smile send a chill down his spine and it takes all of his composure not to break in that moment as he looks into the kind eyes of the man he let die.

“We haven’t ,no. I’m sure you already know about me from Maelle and others…” Verso intones the last part of his sentence with another quick glance at Lune who is making her way towards the two of them. Gustave just chuckles in response to Verso’s seeming unease towards Lune.

“What are you actually doing here?” Never one to beat around the bush Lune is straight into asking the important questions. Crossed arms ,still barefoot but now with slightly longer hair Lune is still just Lune. Maybe in another time was what she had said to him on one of their final nights near the end. But he knows the answer is never in any time now.

“I wanted to go to the mainland and think. See Monoco as well.” It’s a half lie but one he knows they won’t ask many questions about. Lune gives a raised eyebrow obviously not bought over but he doesn't expect her to be. She’s smarter than that or knows him better? Honestly it still feels strange to know there are other people other than just Esquie and Monoco who know him. He thought that Julie and Simon knew him best but somehow Lune and Sciel managed to find their way into his heart.

Esquie is getting items tied onto his back to make sure they don’t fall off while the large lump is flying. Lune is obviously distracted by something being attached wrong and stalks over to correct the mistake. Gustave looks over fondly at his friend before turning back to Verso.

“I’m sure we can fit one more person. Gives me time to pick your brain!” Verso tries to smile in response but he feels like he's fighting a grimace. The two make their way over to Esquie to get situated on his old friend’s back, while doing so Gustave cheerfully introduces him to the other members of the small research team being sent over to the continent. Lune is quickly talking with her parents before she jumps up onto Esquie’s back and Verso can’t help but ask her the question that has been on his mind since reuniting at this moment.

“Your parents aren’t coming on the expedition?” She purses her lips at the question, obviously deciding on how friendly to be in their conversation from now on. He was curious to learn if Lune’s parents had gone back to directing their daughter or if this was all her own plan.

“They’ve already been to the continent in the time you’ve been asleep. I’m taking charge of this expedition because we are researching different topics.”

She turns her head away from him to face the horizon and before Verso can ask any further questions Esquie has taken off into the air in his usual joyful manner. The warm sea breeze is a refreshing sensation as they travel to the continent and he finds his body relaxing somewhat as he closes his eyes. The expedition is making their base at the Gestral village which works well for Verso’s plan and he can try and catch up with Monoco if the old gestral is in the village.

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Lune is furious. The sort of anger that makes her hands tremble. She keeps quickly glancing over to see what Verso is doing ,almost as if she checks often enough she’ll catch him in a nefarious act. But no. All he's doing at the moment is staring out to the horizon before Gustave tries to start up a friendly conversation. It’s an amusing sight to behold, like watching a small child try to interact with a very grumpy disinterested cat. Verso is a distraction she doesn't need at the moment. Her parents had been in perfect form since being brought back and she felt she had hardly had time to breathe. Their constant presence had been both comforting and suffocating. Time away would do them all good. Focusing on her current task was more important. She often felt guilty if she thought things were easier with them gone because that wasn't fair on her siblings who were overjoyed to have their parents back but all Lune could feel sometimes was a bittersweet taste at the back of her throat. Her siblings were happy for the second chance because they hadn’t spent the same amount of time with the couple that Lune had growing up. Showing interest in their research she sometimes thought had been her worst mistake when she was little but at the same time she couldn’t imagine her life without research. Looking for a distraction from her spiralling thoughts she then looked down at her notes and started to make a priority list for when they got to the continent.

 

~Set up camp
~Talk to Golgra
~Check with Gestral traders to see if they’ve noticed anything strange
~Reinspect the -

Her writing is interrupted by Gustave steadying himself to sit next to her.

“Is something wrong between you and Verso? Because it seems like there's something I’m missing…” Oh Gustave there is so much more you’re missing.

“We disagreed on how to defeat the paintress. It worked out in the end but it doesn't mean we will suddenly be friends again.” It’s hard for her to keep the lies straight that Maelle has set up for everyone brought back and over these past four months she may have started to understand Verso’s perspective better. She wishes she could tell her friend everything and as she looks into his confused but kind eyes she's grateful she has Sciel who she can talk to about everything.

“I think I understand. He seems … I don’t know. I’ve seen that look in his eyes.” He looks over his shoulder towards Verso as he talks with Lune. Gustave has always been the best of them but she can tell that his nurturing nature may be a problem in regards to Verso. He will want to help the other man but Lune doesn't know how to tell him that Verso doesn't want to be saved. She puts her hand on her friend’s shoulder to regain his attention but before she can warn Gustave they all jostle forward from their seating positions as Esquie lands on the ground.

They then start the process of getting all the items gently off Esquie’s back. Thankfully she doesn't have to prod Verso to get him to help them bring the items to the area near the casino that Golgra allows the humans to always set up in for their research expeditions. The grass is a little dead from past expedition set ups but it’s easy to fall into the routine of setting up tents and a fire pit. Gustave and Lucien are good naturedly arguing over putting up some tables for research equipment while Catherine laughs from the sidelines while gently putting food item boxes into an organised stack under shelter. Lune is still getting used to expeditions that have this excited and warm air around them? The continent is still dangerous but not foreboding in the same way that it was before. Trying to muddle through her thoughts she gives her hands the task of setting up tents and soon finds herself setting one up with Verso in companionable silence. It’s annoying that they still work together so well without words. It’s easier without words though.

Once they are done setting up the sun is starting to set upon the gestral village. Lune’s fellow companions are settling into the evening while making food and trading stories or plans for the next day. She’s surprised that Verso has stayed with their party this long but she isn’t sure if that's because he's been cornered by friendly interactions from Gustave and Lucien or if the elusive man is avoiding reuniting with Monono. Lune doesn't know what the future holds for now and it has left her feeling unmoored in her new life no matter how many tasks Maelle may give her but for now she can enjoy this evening with her friends before they start their important work tomorrow.

Notes:

Totally had a Brainwave for this series so I've changed things around and I love some good slow burn romance. But yeah buckle in cuz we're going on a journey.

Chapter 3: Honesty to soothe the soul

Summary:

Lune thinks on her relationship with her family and Verso starts to enact his plan while getting caught in the tide of those who care about him.

Lune remembers in her dreams. Even in rest there are problems to solve, although how do you solve a problem that isn’t related to a thing?

People aren’t things. She remembers the mounting pressure and questions people pointed towards her. Don’t you want your siblings back? Don’t you care about your parents? Don’t you want more time with them? Maelle was the worst culprit which Lune understood to some extent, Maelle was younger and she longed for her parents in a gentle light. She wanted the people she loved the most to have everything she herself didn’t have. It broke Lune’s heart somewhat to think of Maelle’s jumbled lives mixing together. It would be too much to handle for anyone let alone a teenager with the hard life that the young paintress has lived. The young paintress eventually went behind Lune’s back to ask people like Emma ,Gustave and others for any information regarding Lune’s siblings. She supposes it wouldn’t have been too hard to get that information as Emma had dated Sol. It had been far too easy for Maelle to give this ‘gift’ to Lune without discussing it with her beforehand. Seeing her siblings back in the flesh and not in hazy memories had made her well up. She wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t miss them every day but she had sadly got accustomed to losing people. But at the core of the issue ,her brother and sister weren’t things to be given as a gift. Things aren't sentient and ask for more time with their parents.

Being angry at her parents or even her siblings felt like misdirected energy because she didn’t have the power to change anything when they were brought back. Her siblings were trying to make things more normal but how you could make people whose whole personality was the expeditions adjust to civilian life felt like trying to work a miracle. She tried to stay out of it as much as possible but the guilt ate at her while she worked away and she found herself going to family dinners that felt like something she wished for as a child but knew she would never have had with her ‘real’ parents. It’s safe to say she never got used to the way her family acted now so time away on the continent and research to focus on ,even Verso drama felt like a relief to deal with compared to home life.

Lune sometimes thinks that she herself is on a second chance after Verso’s betrayal but the thought that people can come back so effortlessly ,the fear that something might happen to her and Maelle would bring her back like nothing happened… it keeps her up some nights trying to think of contingencies to not be brought back? Lune’s thoughts become more constant and erratic as she wakes into the light of the new day. She can hear some quiet shuffling and looks across the camp area to see Verso’s figure getting ready to leave. Figures. She had wondered how long it would take and the answer is not even a full 24 hours ,coward.

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Verso was quiet in his motions as he got his items together to leave the cosy camp. The warmth had seemed to drag him in like a lost moth but he had overstayed his welcome. Lacing up his boots before he leaves his gaze is then drawn to the bare feet in front of him.

“Lune?” A simple morning greeting would have probably been fine but he knew the woman wasn’t one for small talk.

“Leaving to see Monoco? I actually need to talk to Golgra. I'll walk with you.”

She crosses her arms while she waits for him to finish with his boots. Her sudden interest in walking with him feels like a ploy he's about to walk into but for now he can’t figure out the trap.

As they make their quiet way towards the Chief's hut the silence seems to move with the two adults. Verso is content to leave things as they are because at least Lune isn’t giving him a death glare but before his thoughts go further Lune clears her throat.

“I wanted to ask you a question and I don’t want a Verso answer. Think you can manage that?” It’s a loaded question already but a nod is the least he can give to Lune.

“Has Maelle brought up bringing anyone back to you personally? Like Julie or your painted family?” Her face scrunches in slight disgust in having to refer to his canvas family that way to differentiate between the painters and the painted individuals.

It’s a good question that Lune posed and he half wonders if Maelle would have had that conversation with him eventually if he hadn’t run off to the continent without telling her. Years ago he would have done anything to get Julie back to have another chance with her ,even just to apologise to her but now he can’t think about any words that would help her. It would only be for himself and Julie didn't deserve that. To be a prop in someone else’s grief - he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy.

“We never had the chance to discuss Julie or anyone. I think Sciel and Maelle wanted to talk about the baby first.” His voice catches on the word baby, a simple word but why does it feel like he’s invoked some kind of curse by saying it outloud. Lune doesn't seem discouraged by his answer ,mentioning the baby makes her lips quirk at the edges.

“I heard about it all from Sciel, honestly I’m not too surprised ,you were both quite … active? But that wasn’t what I exactly wanted to ask you about because I assume you’re still taking in that information." Verso sees in that moment a more relaxed and teasing Lune which is refreshing and bittersweet in that Verso thought Lune would never speak to him ever again after defeating Renoir. Her kindness feels undeserved in that moment but maybe they are both too tired to get into an argument this early in the day. She looks pensive about asking the actual question she wants to know the answer to and they are close enough to the Chief's hut that they could go in and leave the conversation here but Verso gives Lune space to finish her thought.

“Are my parents really my parents if they are made from the memories of my siblings?”

The question comes out in a rushed whisper that Verso has to struggle to hear. It’s a question he’s thought himself in regard to his painted father and sisters who were made from Aline and all her anger and sadness. Clea hated painted Clea. Does that mean that Aline’s version was awful? Verso had such good memories with his sister who feels like his sister but what makes a person in this context? For fucks sake he himself is completely based off of someone else. There was a saying that his father had mentioned once about art that itches at the back of his mind now. ‘Everything has been done before. It’s about how you use that inspiration that matters.’

“Not answering as myself? No, I don't think they're your parents. I don’t even think they're your sibling’s parents. Time changes memories and at the end of the day no one can truly know someone inside and out, no one can read minds. I’m sorry Lune ,Maelle should never have done that.” It feels harsh even to his own ears but Lune asked him to be honest and honesty can hurt most of the time is what he has learned. But instead of looking upset Lune’s gaze is pensive ,determined. She walks into the Chief's hut and Verso guesses that's the end of that particular conversation.

Walking into the grand hut the imposing figure of Golgra stands watch over her disciples. Monoco stands in the corner watching tiny Noco trying to keep up with the other gestrals doing push ups. It’s quite a sweet sight to behold and acts as a soothing balm to Verso's rattled emotions after his deep conversation with Lune. He makes his way over to his old friends while Lune starts her meeting with Golgra.

“You’re keeping busy I see.” Monoco looks up at his voice and most would see just a mask but Verso knows the old gestral like the back of his own hand. Monoco looks surprised but not angry to see Verso.

“Back on the mainland so soon? Thought you would be staying with Maelle and getting ready to be a daddy with Sciel?” Verso grimaces at the idea of his friend so jovially mentioning something he has such complex feelings about but he supposes Monoco wouldn't be Monoco if he didn't act like this. His friend remains true to himself even after all this time. He’s trying to forget that fact or rather stay away for the benefit of the child who will have loving and kind parents to raise them. Instead he focuses his mind on his plan that had been brewing since his first night back in painted reality.

“I felt like some time on the continent would help clear my head. I was thinking of going beneath the monolith…”

Monoco stares silently before replying to Verso. Noco peeked his head up at the mention of the monolith.

“Now why do you want to go there my old friend?”

Why indeed? Blurting out his whole insane idea so casually in the Chief's hut feels wrong somehow. That he would travel all this way himself to see on the off chance that Simon still exists under the monolith in his non-painted fathers drafts and then even more by chance if he can get the old expeditioner to remove him from the canvas permanently. They had felt the chroma lingering in the space after they had originally defeated his old friend so there is a possibility that Simon would knit back together like Verso’s own immortality.

“I need to think. There's something I want to see-”

“What do you need to see?” Lune interrupts their conversation and Verso knows she wouldn’t have if she hadn’t heard part of their conversation to begin with. Her meeting with Golgra must have been far shorter than Verso would have hoped for and he curses the Chief's to-the-point attitude.

“Verso was hoping to go back to the abyss because he's lost his mind.”

Noco laughs when he has stopped doing press ups to listen to their conversation. Lune then studies Verso’s face and then tries to read Monoco’s body language to try and read between the lines of their conversation.

“Well that is a coincidence… because the expedition is going to the abyss dungeon after taking research samples at Visages and Sirene. I’m concerned about it being a weak spot for painters to reenter the canvas.”

Verso tries to hide his surprise as Noco and Monoco budge their way into coming along on the expedition. He has a feeling of looming dread growing at the bottom of his chest as he thinks things are going far too smoothly at the moment. It seems he's going to have far more company than he thought he would on this journey.

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Verso is quiet as the two humans and two gestrals make their way back towards the expedition’s camp ground. Monoco ends up asking about her research and it feels nice to talk shop. It’s something she has enjoyed about having the other 33’s back, the easy closeness and camaraderie. Lune is suddenly struck by how much she misses Sciel who is obviously not up to coming on expeditions at the moment. She ends up looking over at Verso as they enter the camp grounds ,she wonders if the man had a close human friend or if there was only Monoco. Why was he out here in the wilderness really?

“Ai! We thought you had left already?! Or snuck off for a little alone time?” Lucien welcomes them back into camp and Lune rolls her eyes at the man’s juvenile attempt at humor but Lune still finds herself looking over to gauge Verso’s reaction to the joke. He's looked away as he helps some of the expeditioners pack and his hair blocks his face from her view. Monoco and Noco easily insert themselves socially among the expeditioners. Gustave chatting amicably with Noco ,Lune wonders if they have a lot in common now with both having died and having now come back slightly different?

The camp is a flurry of action as the small, now slightly bigger group gets ready to leave. They are waiting for Esquie to come back to drop them off at their next destination but the group is all set and ready to go. At that moment Lune thought about the order of her research and how they could go straight to Renoir’s drafts but the idea of doing exactly what Verso wants feels wrong. There's also the issue of judging how safe it would be for the other expeditioners to go anywhere near that area. So no ,they are all going to stick to her plan which is to take samples at Visages and Sirene before going to Renoir’s drafts so that there is chroma and data to compare.

Esquie thumps gently onto the ground and Lune startles before she gets her expedition in order as they board the gentle giant.

“Luuuuuune~ Where to next? OOOOOh Momo and Noco are coming too???!” Esquie’s excitement is infectious as always and it’s almost hard to get a word in between the friend’s banter to direct the group. Setting off still relatively early in the morning means there will be plenty of time to research at Visages and then in the morning they can move on and spend the day at Sirene. Nodding to herself while she walks mentally through her plan she makes eye contact with Gustave who can’t help a laugh that escapes his lips.

“What?” She’s confused at his reaction but her own response seems to make the other adult laugh even more.

“I’m sorry Lune! I could just tell you were mentally having a conversion or thinking through a plan ,you were even nodding your head.” She finds herself smiling easily with her friend and finds herself conflicted once again as she thinks about Gustave dying. He wouldn’t be here if not for Maelle and she feels guilty for even thinking for a second that he should have stayed that way? She's getting too dark in the depths of her mind even by her own standards so she pulls out her notebook to discuss some ideas with her friend.

Landing on Visages there is a distinct lack of menace as Renoir’s painted opposition no longer resides in this space. They set up camp first so that nighttime activities are easier later for the group before they all get ready to set off. Esquie and Noco are staying at camp to guard the space which they seem to be taking very seriously as they shoo the expeditioners off to their research duties. Breaking into smaller groups will mean more data but Lune still wants everyone to stay relatively close to each other so they can call for help if things get too dangerous. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, having Verso and Monoco travelling with them for the moment has more competent fighters added to their roster which is no bad thing overall. Extra safety measures are important after all.

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Being back on Visages sucks. Actually that feels too light an emotion for how Verso is feeling being back on this damned island. He despises being here. Monoco keeps looking over at him from where he's holding a board steady for some expeditioners to pin samples to. It feels strange to almost be having a wordless argument over a pretty ,nature filled clearing while expeditioners wander around doing their research. Verso is helping Catherine identify different flora that could be used for remedies ,it’s an important endeavour she's working on but Verso only feels like he’s half present.
The group works into the evening when they start losing light and decide it’ll be safer to be back at camp. Making their way back Monoco sidles up to Verso for a quiet conversation as the two linger near the back of the group.

“How does it feel being back here?”

He finds himself pausing before answering his old friend.
“It always feels strange here. Like an attack but I’m never sure if it’s for me or for who Verso was before.” It’s easy to let the honest words slip into the quiet evening when it’s just the two of them. He then thinks of his honest conversation with Lune in the morning and maybe he's making progress or he's been swapped out and wouldn’t even know? Who else has he been honest with in his long life? Maelle has seen his darkest thoughts but she isn't the only one. Once upon a time he would have said Juile came close but she isn’t the first person that comes to mind..

“I can’t wait till we leave here.”

Monoco nods in the low light not having really liked this space either. It’s an unsettling place both beautiful and terrifying but maybe that’s just the canvas in general now. When they come back into camp Esquie and Noco have been busy making a fire and seem very proud to show off their work. Verso finds himself settling into a warm evening in his most hated place in this world. Hopefully he can get some sleep that isn’t interrupted by looming shadows.

Chapter 4: In light and dark

Summary:

A more relaxed Verso is given time to remember kinder memories and as the group travels to Sirene they continue their expedition unknowing of the dangers ahead...

“Hiding?” The low chuckle accompanying the question startles a much younger Verso Dessandre.

“Hiding? I would never.” He mockingly places a hand over his heart as he allows Simon into his quiet space. The other teenager leans on the balcony railing as they both look out onto the night skyline. Tonight was another of many gallery events that his Maman and Papa often attended and brought their children to. Verso often made lots of small talk and easily mingled between the social moths that his parents seemed to garner the attention of. He had broken away from the crowd in the main gallery space to try and find Alicia. She often hated events like this due to having any attention brought to her appearance. He often didn’t understand why his parents forced their youngest daughter to attend events such as this because they knew she hated them. He hadn’t found his youngest sister yet and had instead waited in the quiet evening to give himself a breather away from the constant murmur of chattering voices.

Verso didn’t know how long he spent in the quiet darkness before Simon found him. He was always grateful for his friendship with the slightly older boy who was in the same year of school as Clea. He often thinks that they wouldn’t have met if Clea wasn’t having trouble with Maths and Simon offered to help her so he came to the manor after school one day. Verso had been curious and had lingered probably more than his sister would have liked but eventually they all ended up taking a break from the school work and decided to play chess. He didn’t know then that that would start a five year friendship.

“I found Alicia by the way. She was huddled up in one of the research rooms reading.” Simon smiles as he tells Verso exactly what he wanted to hear and suddenly he's breathing easier into the night sky. He swears it's like Simon can read his mind sometimes. They then spend some more time enjoying their solitude as Simon points out constellations in the sky.

Suddenly the memory merges into a similar setting as he lays on soft grass looking up at the night sky with Sciel shoulder to shoulder with himself. They talk in hushed whispers as to not wake the other members of their small group. He had felt physically relaxed in the moment after having spent intimate time with Sciel a little earlier before they headed back to the group but neither of the adults could get to sleep easily and the constellations had beckoned them both into easy and comforting conversation in the late hours of the evening. Verso often wondered if he had liked Sciel because she reminded him of Simon;they had similar characteristics and outlooks upon life. He wasn’t sure but all he understood was that he felt safe with them both in a way that was hard to explain.

He wakes into the warm glow of morning with a heavy arm strewn over his body and black hair practically in his mouth. He blows the hair out of his mouth and turns his head to look at the curled up form of Lune who had been the perpetrator of his near suffocation. The arm was Gustave who had almost moved to be horizontal in his sleep so Verso gently placed his non-robotic arm onto his chest. It felt strange to wake to such gentle memories and then feel the warmth of these people near him. He wonders if thinking about Renoir’s drafts had suddenly prompted his mind to go searching for memories of Simon. No matter. They had a job to do today before he found out any more information about how Renoir’s drafts had changed after their actions.

There was lots of yawning and quiet murmuring as the expeditioners started to wake up ,eat breakfast and then gather the camp together before they travelled to Sirene. While eating Lune was lecturing the others to make sure they had their anti-charm pictos equipped at all times while on Sirene and to make sure that Monoco and Verso were nearby to snap anyone out if they got caught up in the spells cast by the Ballet Nevrons.

Setting off once again Verso can tell that Lune is a good lead expeditioner. Keeping everyone safe while ensuing order. She sometimes reminds him of a conductor with the others acting as the orchestra, all of them moving in a beautiful chaos.

 

Sirene is still beautiful in its stillness even with the Axon gone there is still a strong nevron presence. As Gustave and the others look around in awe at the space it’s a sudden reminder to Verso that something he has seen so many times is a beautiful ,fantastical space to others. He glances over at Lune whose face is a quiet mask as she takes the space in once again.

The small groups start to gather resources and samples but there's less flora here to study and they all soon realise that fighting the ballets and other nevrons may be their only chance to study some more. Gustave and Lucien are bickering over what ballet to home in on for research when Verso catches one such nevron making its way stealthily over towards the two men. He finds himself moving as quickly as he can to try and stop the imminent attack. Strange how protective he's become of the expeditioners now compared to what feels like mere days previously to him.

Verso manages to strike out at the Ballet before it can attack either of the expeditioners which is a victory within itself but he must be rusty from coming back or getting cocky in his old age and he doesn't check for a second ballet who storms him in his blind spot. Before he fully realises what has happened he feels air around him as he falls from the broken platform. He can hear the fighting and panic from above but that's all before the crushing pain of the fall hits his senses. He's used to pain. It’s strange what your body becomes accustomed to over time but eventually your body has its limits and unconsciousness makes his vision settle into nothingness.

 

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“Let me inspect your injury? I need to see how bad it is?” Julie gently pries his hand away from where it should be holding his organs together but he doesn't want to let go. There is no injury there anymore and that suddenly panics him more than the thought of dying out here. Julie’s face is white to the point of death as she takes in the blood on his body but no injury. There's no time for questions though as they jump back into battle with the nevrons.

Later after the group has settled into camp to lick their wounds ,Verso looks for his father. The older gentleman is sitting pensively studying the flames of the fire he's stocking for the group of expeditioners.

“Papa.. I need to talk to you. In private?” It was hard for the fear to not come through his voice as he looked to his father for comfort and answers. There's no response for a second before his father looks up at his son and nods. They head away from the warmth of the fire and further up a mound to talk freely away from the group. As soon as they are truly alone his father grasps Verso close to his body in a gentle hug ,the warm affection startles the young man as it feels so strange compared to how his father usually acts.

“How adorable... “ They both flinch at the sarcastic voice that breaks the silence of the moment. Clea stands in the darkness ,arms crossed as she takes in the two men.

“Clea? How are you here?” Verso is confused beyond words as he takes in the presence of his sister who had been very much on the mainland last time he checked. She rolls her eyes at his question as if dealing with a very stupid small child.

“You honestly don’t believe that I’m your Clea. Maman can’t have made you that incompetent. There’s a lot you both don’t understand."

“Then let us understand.” His father’s strong voice is directed towards the imposter wearing the skin of his daughter. The explanation that then ensues can’t truly be real. It has to be lies and manipulation being brought into reality by this imposter. That none of this is real? He isn’t real, no one is real. What’s the point in all of this?

“You can’t seriously believe her father. She's obviously an undocumented Nevron that can take on appearances. She's messing with our heads!” His anger feels righteous in that moment as he almost begs his father to take his side and not the smug faced version of his sister. There's only silence at his outburst which further fuels his anger as he storms back down the hill back to the light and warmth of his comrades. Verso had wondered what had happened to Simon but he guessed now that the man had been tricked by the Clea look alike and was most likely dead. Tears blur his vision as he makes his way back to his sleeping roll which was placed next to Julie’s.

He huddles into the warmth as Julie takes him into her arms and pets his hair while he tries to choke back the sobs. In her warm embrace he felt safe not knowing of the looming danger about to befall him.

He wakes tied to a tree and his panic wakes him fully as he tries to drag his arms away from the rope. The rough rope digs into his wrists uncomfortably as he takes in the sight of those he once trusted. It's still dark and the looming figures of his fellow expeditioners are back lit by the dying firelight. They look like demons as they look down at him, Julie’s face a blank mask as she holds a knife.

Verso watches in mounting horror as Julie walks towards him still holding the knife. She won’t hurt you. She won’t actually hurt you. He tells himself in a growing panic induced mantra as the blade gets closer to his chest. It all happens in a gruesome slow motion as pain lances across his collarbone as Julie drags the blade across his torso to the music of his panicked fellow expeditioners. Maybe they all thought she wouldn’t actually do it either.

The pleas leave his lips in panicked succession as tries to explain everything. The wound kitting back together is damning and the group falls into hushed silence as Julie begins to try her theory again along his arm. Simon wouldn’t have allowed this to happen or maybe he would have? Verso had loved Julie and yet…

His thoughts go no further when there is a sudden light of a sharp blade that shatters the horror of pain along his body. Julie’s head falling into a roll against his feet. Glassy green eyes stare up at him from against his boot as his gaze locks to her frozen shocked features.

To this day he isn’t sure what animalistic sound escaped his lips in that moment as his father came to his rescue like an avenging angel of death. Renoir cuts him free before falling into the panicked fray of the expeditioners. Verso slowly picks up the blade that Julie had used in her deranged judgement and knows his father has picked their side for his son. There would be no coming back as he mechanically slices the blade towards an expeditioner's neck.

He would have fought forever had his father not grasped his arms to steady his son. His warm and blooded hands cradle his son's head close to his chest ,his gaze hidden from the massacre. The physical healing after the damning events was effortless but the scars to his mind felt deep and festering no matter how much he cleaned the blood from his body.

There were no words exchanged between the father and son as they cleaned up and gathered their items. Verso looks at the bodies they left with a quiet detachment and melancholy whereas Renoir’s fury swelled in a crushing wave of anger.

Waking up now he knows his body is in pain. The soft furred body is the indication that he's being held by Monoco but every move the gestral makes feels like his very bones are being jostled.

“Silly man ,we’ll get you patched up quickly.” The gruff voice is comforting as the expeditioners make their steady retreat back to Esquie and Noco. He's placed down onto a sleeping roll and can feel presences near him as unconsciousness beckons him to sleep once again.

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Lune understood that Verso couldn’t die but being brought the crumpled form of his body by a panicked Gustave and Verso would instil fear in anyone. Trying to calm down her fellow expeditioners while evacuating their group to a safer point ,she tries to steal her mind and collect her thoughts.

Carefully assessing the damage that Verso has taken is priority one but that's hard to do while they are on the move. Once at a safer area they can place Verso down and Lune can begin to see what she is dealing with. Catherine had placed a bed roll down and was raking through her bag looking for herbs that Verso had said helped with healing. Gustave and Lucien were lingering guiltyly but Lune sends the two men to go and get water to help her clean up the blood. The only person she allows to stay is Monoco who helps steady Verso’s limbs as Lune begins using healing pictos and chroma to heal Verso’s injuries.

After what feels like hours there is a small fire set up and the group has descended into a quiet hush as they wait for Verso to wake up. Lune had done what she could but she would have to wait a little bit to do more or she would over do it. He had broken his back among other injuries and to any other person that could have been instant death. He had always been reckless but somehow seemed worse now than before. Was he trying to redeem himself through injury? If that was the case it was an awful idea.

Monoco stayed close to his friend and had taken up a more doting role. Lune had never seen the old gestral act so gentle but she supposes that he would have been the one caring for Verso when he was injured in the past.

“How long does it take him to heal from something like this?” She asks the gestral in the quiet of the setting sun as they both look down at the injured man.

“It’ll be far quicker this time due to your intervention. He's had it worse but it’s never any easier seeing this happen.” Monoco is always blunt but Lune could tell there was an edge to his answer. She suddenly thinks of Verso’s casual party trick that doesn't feel so funny or interesting anymore. Or even her mind lingers on the memory of Verso’s original expedition’s actions against him that she had read in vague journal entries. She had felt anger towards Verso yes but seeing him protect her friends this time and dwelling on how much physical pain the man has been through she feels she's starting to better understand the enigma that is Verso Dessandre. For now though all they can do is get some rest and hope that in the morning Verso is doing better.

Chapter 5: The light in the dark

Summary:

It's been a wee bit but had to formulate this properly. Time to get stuck into the meat of this story and finally meet Simon...

“Stare into the void long enough and it stares back…” Simon’s soft voice caresses Verso’s mind as he is cradled in the embrace of oblivion.

The memory comes unbidden in his delirious state. He had been standing outside on the rooftop garden of the manor when Simon had come up to speak to him. He had had an argument over music with his Maman and needed to clear his thoughts and quell his anger in the quiet of night. The smell of flowers and cut plants had been a comfort as he looked at the moon. Simon had overheard the argument as he had been over for dinner which was starting to be more commonplace with Simon and Clea having now partnered up.

“You’ve been avoiding me?” The question is a joking tone but it had been an ugly presence in their friendship for a few weeks now. Simon may not have gathered why but Verso could pin point the shift in their friendship to the exact moment that Simon announced that he was courting Clea. Verso could feel the tenseness in his jaw ,his breath stuck in his throat. He felt like a petulant child even though he was in his early twenties but it was hard to not compare himself to perfect Clea. Why her and not him? It had been un ugly companion that had taken root in his heart for the past weeks and he hadn’t been able to act normally towards Simon or Clea so had instead decided to avoid the perceptive couple. Simon sat down next to him and waited for Verso to respond. He was good at giving people space to come to the right words they wanted to use. Verso needed that time to come up with an excuse but he found it so hard to lie to Simon ,it felt like there was no point as he could see through any flimsy charade he offered.

“I have been avoiding you. I didn’t realise you liked Clea that way. I didn’t understand why you didn't tell me?” It was a half truth and that would have to do as he was curious why Simon hadn’t mentioned his attraction to Clea.

Simon blushed before he spoke.
“I had always had a crush on Clea, it just felt like the right moment to say something. We’re adults now ,thinking about partners is important.”

Verso frowned as the answer felt like a cop out. Or maybe he was blind and had just never noticed Simon always wanting to be around Clea. He seemed to enjoy being around Verso too but maybe he had misread their relationship. Socialising was difficult and trying to read people was impossible at times. At least this seemed like a mending of their friendship as they stared out into the night sky in companionable silence.

Quiet rustling at his side has Verso blinking blearily into the night’s sky away from the confusing memory. Taking a breath as he looks up into the expanse of darkness dotted with little highlights of platinum white play acting as stars. Glancing over to his left he finds himself gazing into Lune’s dark eyes. She looks tired most likely from healing him and her half asleep form is laying close to his own body. Warm firelight casts her features in a subtle orange glow and he is suddenly struck by how angelic she looks in the light. No words are exchanged and she only reaches out and gently pushes some hair away from his face encouraging him back to sleep with the gentle motion.

Sleep beckons him over the next few days as his body knits back together his injuries. Verso tries to convince the others to explore without him and he and Monoco can catch up with them later (as the old gestral won’t stop his doting) but Lune and Esquie insist that he rest and only losing a few days won’t be the end of the world. He's a little confused by Lune’s softness but maybe she doesn't want to move on without stronger fighters. Verso getting injured over Gustave and Lucien is a far better outcome than the alternative.

After a few days of awkward rest and being doted on which feels wrong in so many ways to his nature ,they are ready to move on to Renoir’s drafts. Or at least that was the original plan but while he's been sleeping on and off some of the plans have changed. Esquie is dropping off the rest of the expedition at the Gestral village where Noco will be taking the expeditioners through the Gestral’s items so that they can take stock of any useful inventions they have made over time. They also want to try and find anything generally useful they can trade and take back to Lumiere. Verso can see through the task that Lune has set - in that she wants the weaker fighters to be somewhere safer while they explore a more dangerous area. To an extent Verso can understand but keeping people locked away in ‘safety’ eventually feels like a prison. Lune, Monoco and Verso are then heading themselves to Renoir’s drafts. He wonders why the plans have changed and wonders if any progress he has made with Lune has gone out the door and she doesn't trust what he will do when they arrive or if his theory about wanting to keep the others safe is a more sound idea. Honestly she was right not to trust him.

Having dropped off the others successfully Verso soon realises that they were a good social buffer and he feels Lune and Monoco staring. He very much misses the endless stream of chatter that the other expeditioners had exhibited.

“What exactly are you both looking for when we get there?” Monoco breaks the oppressive silence as they travel through the air ,starting to home-in on the area of sea where Renoir’s drafts are placed in the cracks of the painted world.

“I’m looking for any weaknesses that the painters could use to be a danger to us. Also anything useful we could use to get an advantage.” Lune looks at Verso as he nods in agreement to her answer. Monoco glances at Verso and he feels layers of paint peeling as his friend looks into his eyes. A piece of his soul visible in that moment to his oldest friend.

“The same as Lune. But maybe looking for anything my- Renoir left.” He breaks off on the word father ,the word brittle and cloying at the back of his throat. Looking into the ocean he can see that Esquie is starting to land in the sea. The spray comes up and dances across his skin ,a cold and bracing feeling. Not real, his brain helpfully supplies.

Walking through Renoir’s drafts is just as foreboding as it had previously been. It was as if Renoir haunted the painting, hands reaching out through the darkness. Verso feels like an invisible string is pulling him towards Simon’s lair. The call of oblivion is as sweet as honey on his tongue. Lune grabs his arm before he can walk further stuck in a spell like trance.

“Where are you going? We’re retracing our steps to check for weaknesses, remember?” Her tone is scolding but there's an unreadable emotion in her dark eyes. He nods in assent before following Lune and Mococo further through the labyrinth. Walking through the areas turns up nothing new which seems to relieve and frustrate Lune in equal parts as she makes quickhand notes while they meander and fight the occasional Nevron haunting the area. There's also nothing present that Renoir had left - no secret journals or special items ,not that he had really expected that but it had been a good cover as to why he had wanted to explore the area and he had felt he had to keep the act up for searching for items.

The warm glow of golden swords lights their way as they get closer to Simon’s lair and there is an eagerness building in his chest as he quickens their pace. Monoco swirls his staff around rolling his joints and getting ready for the possible oncoming fight. Lune’s shoulders seem tense and she cracks her knuckles and stretches her arms lightly in preparation but still glances over at Verso. Their eye contact feels like Lune has set off one of her pictos and he breaks the connection quickly to dispel the effect taking root in his chest.

As they arrive in the carved out arena there is underwhelmingly nothing and no one in the space. The eagerness that had been building in Verso’s chest felt all the more desperate and foreboding in that moment, the darkness rising in the corners of his eyes. A sudden shout from Lune causes Verso to realise this isn’t a trick of his damaged mind and there is an energy collapsing around their three figures. Something was happening.

Instead of only darkness and the glow from the imposing swords scattered in the darkness there are now the faint glows of scattered stars. An expansive sea of constellations and the ground looks like the dark of the deep sea. There is a comforting embrace in this darkness like the sea at the pier…

“You came back…” The voice is unmistakable in being Simon’s but he sounds older? More tired. Lune takes a deep breath in preparation while Monoco grips his staff tighter as they all peer into the surroundings to try and find the elusive man. It feels like an earthquake occurs as his form comes up through the ground as if in a model similar to that of the paintress's larger form. His blank gaze stares down at their small forms and Verso sees some of the old Simon has returned to his form but he is overwhelmingly still an otherworldly seeming creature. They are all startled as Simon moves his hand that they were all standing on - how they didn’t notice the uneven flooring when they came in is troubling. Monoco uses his staff to steady himself and Lune floats lightly above the uneven surface leaving Verso to stumble ungracefully to his knees. Simon peers down at the three of them, seeming to recognize Verso, his gaze steady on the other man.

“Why did you come here?” His voice is loud and jarring, close now to the imposing god-like figure. Lune seems to stand her ground as she tilts her head up in defiance to the powerful individual and Verso can't help but smile in admiration of the woman as he gathers himself to his feet.

“We came to see if you were still a danger to us. If there were weaknesses in the canvas here.” Her voice doesn't waver in the tense silence and Monoco nods his head in agreement to her words but Verso can tell the old gestral is still itching for a fight to start. Simon seems to take in the words as he gently places them on the ground but not before Verso can extract himself from the giant’s hand. Lifted back into the air once more Verso is now frustrated with Simon or the Simon look alike if there is nothing left of the original. He expects to look up at a face he does not recognize but is met with the sad eyes of someone who knows him.

“Why are you really here Verso?”

“I can’t come to visit an old friend?” The joke falls flat to even his own ears as Simon pulls his hand closer. The closeness feels familiar and at the same time like he's some fairy princess in one of Alicia’s books. He misses her dearly because he is struck by how he viewed Alicia and Maelle as separate beings. Maelle is not his sister ,just as he is not the brother she wishes for. Alicia was his sister who he grew up with, who he cared for dearly. She couldn't be replaced.

“I was lost. I don't know what I was looking for… Are you still the same Simon?” Honesty is all that he can give this all powerful being who looks at him with both pity and kindness.

“I do not think I am the same person. Just as I know you are not the same person I knew. I was made in this form as a collaged piece of work by discontented gods but I have my mind back because of you and your comrades. So no ,I am not the same Simon as I was before. Are you made of only your painter mother’s misery?” He does not give Verso time to answer so he supposes that Simon hadn’t expected him to answer the question only to think on it. The cryptic words are both comforting and jarring as Simon ever so gently places Verso back on the ground where a panicked Monoco and Lune had been tensely waiting on the ground.

“Oh great ,I thought you might get eaten again!” Monoco ever the socially tactful gestral envelops Verso into a short hug. Verso looks back for Simon but there's no sign of the giant now in the space and the stars are starting to blink out of existence as more golden swords start to form again in their places as they fall back into Renoir’s drafts. As the scenery starts to form once again they are greeted by the far more normal sized Simon who looks to be waiting for them. His long black hair drifts in the warm breeze as he absentmindedly holds the stump of his arm. The area of affect had disappeared meaning that Simon had full control over the ability which was troubling if his mind was still affected by the painters.

“It has been a long time since I have conversed so you will have to forgive my rudeness.” There is a small quirk to his lips not quite a smile but a much warmer tone of voice accompanies the man now.

“I don’t understand. How can you be back as yourself? Or rather how do we know it is you?” Lune is straight into questioning mode as her researcher brain starts to catalogue the recent events. Monoco is still watching the man closely while keeping Verso on his right so that the stranger is further away from his old friend.

“I would know. I practically grew up with Simon back in Lumiere. You’re both being overly cautious.”

His flippant statement seems to be the wrong thing to say as Lune purses her lips in frustration and Monoco does the gestral equivalent shoulder shrug of a raised eyebrow. Simon looks closely into his eyes before turning his gaze back to Lune and Monoco who are more distrustful of him.

“I understand your distrust and it is something I would wish to earn rather than be given. I have trusted too easily in the past which has led to current events. I am sorry for frightening you when you arrived and I will do my best to answer any questions you have but be warned my mind was not my own for many years and there are gaps in my memories that I am still trying to figure out.” Simon had always been a quiet but well spoken person and even in a rusty social state Verso saw his friend who was raised by a politician and an academic. Lune nods her head in understanding but Verso can tell her hackles are still raised and her shoulders seem tense. As they slowly start their walk back to Esquie they continue their conversation while keeping an eye out for nevrons.

“When did you regain your mind?” Lune starts off with a relative softball question by her standards.

“I regained consciousness after our first fight ,I caught glimpses of your group but could not recognise Verso… It was after the fight and my body started to knit back together that I felt Renoir’s control gone.” At Verso’s name Simon had looked over again to the other man but this time Monoco got purposely in the way blocking his full view of the other man.

“That must have been longer than you thought because that could have been after we defeated Renoir and forced him from the canvas?” Lune seems to be pondering the timeline of events while she fidgets with some strands of hair in her braid.

“That could be a possibility. But there is no certainty here. Painters play by their own rules.” There is a bitter strand in Simon’s voice as he looks into the horizon as they near the exit of Renoir’s drafts. When they get back to Esquie he is immediately excited by the idea of a ‘new friend’.

When Esquie takes off in the direction of the Gestral village Verso makes his way closer to Simon. He is looking out at the sea in a serene manner as he sighs and closes his eyes. Verso studies the other man but he supposes it’s like meeting him all over again so he doesn't know where to begin in talking with him?

“To feel the breeze, smell the sea ,look out at this beauty… I took it for granted.” He looks at Verso with a small smile that reaches into his dark brown eyes. Verso looks at the surroundings trying to imagine what Simon is seeing but he feels like he's looking at a picture in a story book he's read a hundred times over.

“I don’t know what to say. I never knew what happened to you… I’m sorry.” To be able to apologise to Simon feels like healing a wound that has been open this entire time that he had never noticed. The other man gives a small laugh that breaks the sombre tension of their whispered conversation.

“How could you have known Verso? Why blame yourself for something you had no control over?” He looks at Verso almost to see his answer but Verso can’t think of one, he just shakes his head as he joins his friend in looking out to sea.

“I wonder how the other expeditioners have fared at the Gestral village?” Lune ponders as she asks the others. The mentioning of the village piques Simon’s interest and pulls him from their private and sombre conversation.

“You’ve been to the Gestral Village?” Simon seems intrigued by this development and Monoco then starts a lengthy explanation of how amazing the village is and the great fights in the arena he's seen. Verso forgot slightly that expedition 0 had only seen some of the continent compared to what expedition 33 saw. The 33’s truly were a special lot, even if they had Maelle.

As they travel they talk more of things that have changed but Verso is sure there are things that Lune is leaving out regarding pictos ,not giving all their secrets away. It seems like a smart move until they can tell that the painter's influence is truly gone from Simon’s mind.

“I think my friend Gustave may be able to make you a new arm?” Lune tentatively suggested as she gazed at the stump of Simon’s injured arm.

“Thats a fascinating idea. I’ll have to talk to this Gustave when we arrive.” Simon smiles gently at Lune and Verso is once again struck by a sickening guilt over Gustave’s death. He was a good person ,like Simon was a good person and he knew they would have similar morales.

When they arrive there seems to be a commotion at the expeditioners camp and Verso has a bad feeling mounting as they walk towards the chaos. The expeditioners are talking animatedly - Catherine is healing Gustave who looks like he has a black eye and a bash to the head, Lucien is gesturing wildly while drinking a healing tint while looking a little worse for wear as well and then behind their small group separated from the others who are actually setting up and organising camp there is the slight frame of someone he had dreaded to see.

“Maelle…”

Chapter 6: Harsh truths

Summary:

Blegh this took a wee bit to get right but we got there in the end lads lol :)

Anyway enjoy!

“I think we should talk in private?” Maelle gives a stiff nod in response as the ‘siblings’ walk further away from the chaotic group of expeditioners and gestrals. As they walk in silence Verso tries to formulate what he might be able to say to Maelle but he is lost for words as his mask starts to crumble.

“How could you just leave?” Her small voice has none of the fury he had expected and she sounds like the lonely teenager he had grown to know, not the frustrated god he sometimes imagined. His anger falls into a quiet ebb as he takes in her sombre blue eyes.

“I couldn’t stay. I needed to leave… I’m still not sure what I really want.” He finds himself unable to look Maelle in the eyes as he looks back towards the noise of the expeditioners. His friends? He isn’t sure he had the honor to call them that. The warm evening sun glares across the horizon as he waits for Maelle’s response. Silence his companion for a few moments.

“I don’t understand you. I thought I did but.. I don’t know what I can do to help you.” He suppresses a flinch as she places a gentle hand on his arm.

“Maelle. There is nothing you can do. The damage is already done. We aren’t magically going to see eye to eye on everything now.” The metaphorical blade forms in her eyes again as her fury builds through her frustration. His own face must betray his thoughts as she suddenly appears furious, their conversation journeying into an argument.

“I’m not abusing the people here. I want to help ,I feel at home in this world.”

He pulls away from her hand as his own frustration builds once again. It feels like they are stuck in a never ending loop.

“That's the issue Alicia! This isn’t your home.” She flinches fully at the use of her birth name over her chosen name. Maelle marches closer once again so she can fully look him in the eyes.

“Come back to Lumiere please?”
This seems like her last plea before things turn any harsher.

“I didn't know you’d fallen so low as to beg?” He's surprised by his own coldness as Maelle looks startled and takes a step back. He won’t fall into the role she's set up for him, won’t slip into the narrative of the story she has been writing in her own mind. She shakes her head and looks down back towards the expeditioners. It seems like this is going to be a long argument or even lead into a duel as she seems to gear back up for round 2.

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Lune’s gaze follows the siblings as they walk away. She isn’t sure if she will be breaking up a fight soon. Simon stands near her as he tries to take in their chaotic group of individuals. He cuts an imposing figure in their group in his tattered and dark expedition clothes ,long hair loose around his shoulders. Catherine and Lucien look like they are about to try and explain what had happened while they were away but keep speaking over each other. There seems to have been enough drama at the Gestral camp that bringing back Simon hasn’t piqued their interest yet as they rush to try and get themselves out of trouble first. In some ways she's quite glad for the silly distraction. Homing in on someone who has been quiet ,she targets Gustave to explain what actually happened.

“Gustave? I left you all alone for only a few hours. What happened?” Lune was genuinely curious as to how they looked so beaten up and the Gestrals lurking around felt like a clue. The creatures were lurking in only the way she could compare to guilty children who had broken something.

“Ah yes. The Gestrals wouldn’t give up one of their inventions even though we had already traded for it and instead we got .. persuaded? .. into a duel. In their arena..” He was looking at his companions with a bashful expression on his face as Noco nodded along in agreement as he passed a cool towel to Gustave to soothe his head.

There is then a low chuckle as Simon who had been silent since they arrived started to laugh. This seemed to cause a chain reaction as the others seemed relieved they weren’t going to be scolded by Lune and joined into the somewhat delirious laughter. Honestly Lune was thinking they had bigger problems than Gestral trading politics so that issue would have to wait until they smoothed things over somewhat with Maelle and tried to figure out Simon’s situation. Speaking of Simon he seemed curious about the expeditioners and was asking about Gustave’s arm which was as good a transition as possible for Lune to ask Gustave about making an arm for Simon.

“I actually did bring a spare arm this time so I wonder if I could adapt it to your own body?” Gustave was talking out loud as he asked Lucien to pass his bag to him. Catherine protests as she had been trying to heal the stubborn man but Gustave ignores her frustration as he roots around in his bag for the spare arm. Catherine huffs in frustration as she hands over the healing and helping duties to Lune now that she’s back. As he pulls the arm free ,Lune checks over her shoulder to see if the siblings have come back but there's still no sign of the fiery individuals. Why were so many people she knew so stubborn? Maybe that was hypocritical of her to think ,who knows.

Gustave is working on trying to size the attachment to Simon’s arm which is taking a bit of extra thinking as Simon is a bigger man than Gustave who suddenly looks quite slight in comparison. Lune wonders if the man was always so tall and built before the actions of the painters or if that was their changes? It seems insensitive to ask so she tries to ignore the question for now.

“If you do not mind my asking, how did you come to lose your arm?” Ever curious Gustave inquires about Simon as he tinkers with the prosthetic arm in his lap. The question had crossed Lune’s mind but she felt it was better asked from someone who understood better than she would ever be able to.

Simon sighs and looks into Gustave’s eyes before he answers.
“The arm was torn off in my fight against the Hauler Axon. It was a vicious battle but it feels so long ago now..” Gustave nods quietly, not making any placating apologies to the other man, no pity ,just understanding. Lune almost feels like she's intruding but she is holding some of Gustave’s tools for him so it would feel rude to just leave the conversation at this point.

“How did you lose your own arm?” Simon asks in that moment of quiet understanding as Lune passes another tool to Gusatve to continue tinkering with. Gustave looks lost in thought for a second or rather maybe distracted by his task at hand.

“Hmm it feels like so long ago for myself as well. I’m used to his arm now. I lost it during an experiment.. Yeah, an experiment.” He shakes his head bemused at his memory but a cold sensation pools at the base of Lune’s spine.

Gustave didn’t remember fully the event of losing his arm.

He had told the full story to Lune before during a night of drinking and hypnotising about experiments. But of course Maelle wasn’t there so how would she know the full story?

Lune tries to school her features quickly but she can tell that Simon notices her mood has changed. She looks into his dark eyes and sees something she can’t quite read. Feeling suddenly held under a microscope she figures this would be a good time to check in with the other team members and the camp itself but still finds herself lingering close to Simon so that he is always in her eyeline. Struggling to shake the strange ,nameless emotion settling in her chest she looks for Monoco.

“You don’t trust him yet.” It's not a question from Monoco as he sidles up next to Lune to ‘glare’ at Simon.

“How much did you know about him? Or rather did Verso tell you anything about him?” Monoco turns to face Lune but she can tell there is a tightness to his joints as he squeezes his hand around his staff.

“Not much. Suppose he didn’t want to talk about someone he thought was dead.” Lune can tell that's only half of the truth but she won’t push things at the moment - she's finding it hard to focus and sort through her thoughts as the unsettled feeling lingers in her body. She doesn't know how it came about that she didn’t even know if gestrals were scientifically real last year and now is some kind of gestral whisperer who can tell when the featureless creatures are lying. But she takes solace in the truth that if Monoco thought that Simon was a danger right now he would be physically fighting him.

Walking back over to Simon and Gustave after her short check-in with Monoco ,Lune peers down at the progress they are making on the new arm. The arm is similar to Gustave’s but they have had to add new metal to the cuff that attaches to Simon’s larger bicep. The arm is also more silver in tone as it is not treated in the same way that Gustave’s arm is. It looks good to Lune and she can see no extra pictos have been added yet to the arm so that's good as to not be giving more power to someone they don’t fully trust yet.

“Hmmm I think if I had my apprentices help this might look a little more polished but it’ll be functional until we get back to Lumeire.” Gustave is bashful in his assessment of his work and even Lune scoffs at the response because that man is truly his own worst enemy at times. Simon moves the arm around in wonderment as he takes in the engineer’s delicate work.

“Absolute nonsense. This is amazing! You are a true genius. Thank you again so very much.” Simon’s smile reaches his eyes and he looks almost like a different person than who they found in Renoir’s drafts. Gustave on the other hand is almost red with embarrassment as he takes in the gushing praise.

Lune chuckles lightly as she gently knocks her shoulder against his own where they are sitting. Gustave had once said that she showed affection like that of a cat that would bump its head against a person affectionately and then hiss if that same person tried to pet said cat and the comparison still makes Lune laugh to this day. She tries to enjoy the moment of camaraderie as the unsettled feeling still lingers at the back of her mind.

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Verso would like to say that he kept a level head and acted as an adult but his argument with Maelle devolved into a heated duel. Neither was backing down but they were stuck at an impasse. Feeling tired he put away his daggers which he was worried Maelle would take as a resignation but she sighs before putting away her own sword.

“Who was that man with you when you came back?” Trying to have a normal conversation after their heated battle feels strange but he's too tired to delve into hidden meanings or the psychology of family dynamics.

“It’s Simon. Defeating Renoir and the Paintress broke the control over his mind. He seems sort of normal now..” Maelle squints at his use of referring to Simon as ‘mostly normal’ which he's feeling like he probably should have used different wording to explain the situation.

He is suddenly struck by the fact that Maelle/Alicia won’t know anything about Simon. Painted Alicia was the one who had known Simon and had all those memories. The fact that he is going to have to tell Simon what happened to Clea and Alicia ,even Renoir and Aline has his heart hurting at even the thought. He is brought out of his stupor by Maelle’s suspicion-filled question.

“What do you mean ‘mostly normal’?”

“I mean that he seems like the Simon that I knew but still has some of the powers that he was given by Clea and Renoir that he never had before their involvement.” He feels that sums things up at least for now as he's sure there are things they don’t fully understand yet.

“Is he dangerous?”

The question falls into silence as Verso thinks of a response. Really thinks of a response. He struggles to not let his anger rise again as he suddenly feels protective of his friend from Maelle who had already taken away so much from him..

“No ,I don’t think he is.” The answer solidifies in his mind as he remembers the calm way he had spoken to him as he cradled his body gently. That was an angry person but not one who would harm innocents. He just wasn't sure what Simon’s take on Maelle would be… most of the time he wasn’t sure himself what he thought of Maelle now.

“I’ll come back to Lumiere with the rest of the expedition when they are finished.” It's the best compromise he can offer at the moment because the thought of getting chased around the continent by Maelle is tiring even to think about. She nods silently agreeing to their ceasefire. Which will have to do for now as they walk quietly back to camp. The only noise is their boots walking in the dry grass and the crunch of an occasional dry leaf. Both too lost in their own thoughts to make any nonsense small talk.

When they get back to camp Gustave calls Maelle and Verso over to where he is sitting on some logs with Lune and Simon. Simon gives a small wave with his new metal arm which causes a bewildered laugh to come from Verso’s lips. Maelle side eyes Verso as she comes to sit next to Lune. Simon stands up to show off the new arm in better detail to Verso as he explains what Gustave did for him.

“If you do not mind I would like to speak with Verso in private?” Simon seems to direct the question at Maelle who bites her lip slightly before answering.

“Yes but don’t stray far away?” She directs this more towards Verso but he can tell there is an underlying threat toward Simon who only nods politely. As the two make their way away from the group Verso directs them closer to the Gestral Casino where he knows the area is quieter and he subconsciously wants a separate area away from where he fought Maelle. When they arrive at their destination there is an awkward silence that had not been in their relationship since those few weeks where Verso had been avoiding Simon and Clea.

“Maelle is the last painter in the canvas, yes?” This isn't the first question that Verso thought Simon would ask and he isn't too sure where this conversation is going. He only nods in response ,still holding his guard up slightly until he can get a clear idea of where this conversation is going.

“Is she respecting the people here?” Simon’s face is serious as he steps closer to Verso. They are standing so close together most likely to not be heard in case anyone is listening but all Verso can think about is the warmth radiating from the other man’s body. He isn’t sure what has brought the suspicion of Maelle to Simon’s mind so quickly ,there's a dangerous or maybe protective is the better word - glint to Simon’s eyes as he looks into Verso’s own eyes.

He thinks of an answer for Simon ,because is Maelle always respectful of the people in the canvas? She didn’t respect his own wishes and went behind Lune’s back to ‘help’ her. At the same time though is Maelle doing all of this in the name of a confused sense of Love for them?

Is love the same thing as respect?

It feels like a dangerous question that he needs to answer gently.

Simon tilts Verso’s face up to meet his gaze as he must have looked away from the other man while lost in his thoughts. His human hand has tough calluses on it from gripping his long sword but the action is so gentle it surprises Verso. He suddenly remembers Lune gently putting a piece of his hair behind his ear while half asleep and it's as if these moments are superposed over each other in the dull coloured light of the setting sun.

“I think at times she loses herself and it’s hard to see the forest through the trees.” It feels like a weak answer compared to his anger from the argument he had with Maelle only minutes before but there was still a part of him that would always be an older protective brother and he feels things could turn antagonist between Simon and Maelle if he fully told the cold truth.

Simon sighs as he pulls his hand away and tilts his own head up towards the sky which is starting to darken as night approaches. Verso can’t tell if he disappointed Simon with that answer as he can't see his face as it leans up towards the sky. Stars are starting to blink back into visibility and the calm of night is starting to embrace the men in the quiet pocket they find themselves in.

“Do you remember that night at the annual Salon event that we both attended and Alicia went missing?” Verso chuckles as he remembers the fond memory as if it was yesterday. The night they enjoyed each other's company on the balcony overlooking Lumiere ,before things got complicated. Everything felt complicated even with the man next to him who he had known like he knew himself. He didn’t even really know himself anymore though did he?

“We should get back to the others?” He turns away from the closeness but Simon gently grasps his arm to stop him fully walking away.

“Can we stay looking at the stars just for a little bit? I just want things to be simple for a moment?” The man’s plea is quiet in the secluded area that Verso had chosen and he finds himself relaxing into the touch before leading Simon to a further up point to be able to see the sky better. As they both sit in the dry grass Verso feels like he's a teenager in that moment as he relaxes into a quiet moment that feels far simpler than his life has felt in years.

Notes:

So yeah this was totally inspired by a Tumblr post that said who's gonna have protection at the end of the world in the wilderness lol - but for real things start dark but this will take some twists and end happier than when we started. Its gonna be a journey and I hope you have fun with the twists and turns :)