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Hyunjin finds herself drawing random people a lot. It was a common element in all her sketches littered in a year old sketchbook that has been through many phases and improvements of her style, a multitude of ripped pages, and of course, the spine that broke after Minho accidentally ran it over with her car one night after some kid took it and threw it onto the parking lot. The sketchbook has gone through many things, but one thing stayed the same.
The drawings of elderly couples on the streets, her classmates, her friends, and one very specific member of the student council. Kim Seungmin.
She could capture her from memory, dark brown hair that reaches her forearms. Her eyes are a deep shade of brown, behind a set of round glasses. She has the prettiest eyelashes Hyunjin has ever seen, along with a pretty mouth and pretty teeth with braces and pretty hands…
"Lixie! Hyunjinnie is being gay again!" A voice snaps her out of her state, realizing she was sketching Kim Seungmin where her math work was supposed to be, the stuff they just learned a few minutes ago went in one ear and left the other. Which is a common occurrence at this point for her.
"You have to apply yourself more, Hyunjin-ah!" her parents always say. Whatever the fuck that means. It's not like they were ever happy with anything she ever does. She's an artist, goddamn it! And a fucking good one as well, but the likelihood of them ever acknowledging this is close to zero.
The words her childhood best friend Han Jisung practically screams causes many heads to snap over to their direction. Hyunjin closes her eyes and murmurs that she is either going to kill herself or Jisung sometime soon.
Burning heat rises in her face caused by her homosexuality being declared in the middle of math class. "I'm not being gay," she whispers, glaring at Jisung. "Is it illegal to appreciate a girl's beauty nowadays?"
"Not when you're a raging lesbian you can't." Jisung giggles, handing Hyunjin her math work for her to copy off of. Unfortunately, Hyunjin retracts her statement of ending the life that belongs to her dear friend. Considering she's the only reason Hyunjin is slightly passing this class.
Felix glances over at the drawing. "It's an obsession at this point. She sure is… an interesting subject."
"What does that mean?" Hyunjin raises her eyebrow.
"Well, you know! It's Kim Seungmin, she's not really anybody's cup of tea." Jisung shrugs, stuffing snacks into her mouth. They're not allowed to eat in class. "Have you ever even talked to her?"
Hyunjin erases the drawing, watching every detail fade away, but they still stick to her mind. She waits a few seconds before responding to the question. "No. I don't have to! You're acting like she's an axe murderer. She's pretty, and simple enough to draw. I really don't get the issue!"
Except she kind of does. Everybody does. Student body president Kim Seungmin is not one to be messed with. She isn't friendly, she is blunt and an awful conversation. She has a gaze that makes you feel as if she's Medusa, turning you right to stone. Kim Seungmin was scary. Kim Seungmin was a friendless loser and a terrible person. That's what everyone said.
Although, Hyunjin sometimes wonders if that's really true.
A crush isn't what she'd call it, she never really can say something like that about a person she hasn't even held a conversation with. It's some kind of infatuation, though. A feeling that flares up in her chest in a way she can never properly describe, maybe she just doesn't want to. It's not like she's bad with words.
"Hyunjin-ah, it's so risky drawing her when she's in the same room as you," Minho says from behind her. She sits down beside her at the cafeteria table, and Felix immediately latches onto her girlfriend as usual. Hyunjin has to refrain from gagging and rolling her eyes playfully. As jealous as she is, she loves them together.
Kim Seungmin is sitting at the cafeteria table nobody dares to approach. Her brown hair is tied into twin braids, allowing to see more of her face, despite her bangs falling in front of her eyes. She's wearing a pair of overalls and a yellow long sleeved collared shirt, the farm girl look is cute. At least that's what Hyunjin thinks.
As usual, she's alone, with even the tables surrounding her being empty. It made Hyunjin's heart squeeze in her chest, how bad could this girl be? She must really be terrible to be treated this way.
"Not like she's gonna notice," Hyunjin murmurs, running her left hand through her shaggy hair. It's getting long, near her shoulders, she supposes she'll let Jisung cut and dye it for her again. Her parents want her to grow it out, and Hyunjin finds a sickening joy in pissing them off.
Felix giggles, snuggling into Minho's side as she steals the food from her bento box, not that Minho minds, she can never say no to her. "Hyunjinnie's a little obsessed with our student body president."
Hyunjin groans softly. "Saying 'obsessed' makes me seem like a freak."
"You are a freak," Minho mumbles, earning a elbow to her ribs. There was no denying it, though. The whole reason they're all friends is because they're embarrassingly considered outcasts, like a stupid cliche high school movie. Jisung, an awkward loser who nearly pukes herself just being near a pretty girl. Minho, who comes off as mean even though she's really not, and has a preference for cats over people. Hyunjin, the artsy girl that doodles away and seems to always be getting into trouble. And Felix, the sweet girl from Australia who for some reason stuck with them.
"She's just… pretty and interesting. That's all. Is that so bad? It's not like I'm making shrines of her or leaving love letters in her locker or something." Hyunjin realizes she get defensive every time this topic is brought up.
Minho hums, but neither she or Felix respond, she just simply pushes Hyunjin's neglected lunch tray toward her. "Anyways, where's Jisungie?"
Felix grins, big bright and beautiful, "Over with Chan and Changbin. Yang Jeongin is sitting at that table."
The other two sigh softly, understanding what that means immediately. Yang Jeongin, the gorgeous popular girl that Jisung has been crazy for since middle school. She'd never interact with her directly, because as mentioned, Jisung is incapable of socializing with any girl she's romantically attracted to. But they're both friends with Changbin and Chan, which gives Jisung the opportunity to be near her.
"And you guys say I'm gay and desperate," Hyunjin huffs, stuffing food into her mouth.
It's a Thursday morning, Hyunjin is brushing her freshly cut and bleach blonde hair, she adjusts her eyebrow piercing and hums to herself. Opening her school bag to pack her things, her heart stops.
"Fuck," she murmurs. "Fuck- shit- oh my fucking god! I'm so stupid!"
Hyunjin's room is even more of a mess about 5 minutes later. Drawers emptied, clothes strewn across the floor, painting supplies fallen off the shelf. But she can't find it. She just can't.
"Jinnie?" Jisung mumbles sleepily from where she's sleeping in Hyunjin's bed. She rubs at her eyes and squints up at her. "What's wrong?"
"My- my sketchbook." Hyunjin tugs at her hair, her breathing picking up. "I can't find it."
Jisung turns around and blinks at her blearily. She didn't cut her hair last night, but she dyed it dark blue, and Hyunjin can see the stain on her pillow. Not that she can care about it in this moment. "Did you leave it at school?"
"Maybe- shit- maybe." She feels so stupid. She's managed to keep that sketchbook for years, and if the wrong person finds it… will Seungmin find out about the drawings of her? How would she feel? Or maybe someone else will find it and call her a creep for having so many drawings of the freak Kim Seungmin. She'll be laughed at, known as Seungmin's stalker, and Seungmin will hate her forever.
A hand enters her vision. "Hello? Earth to Hwang Hyunjin," Jisung drawls. "Stop spiraling too early, maybe it's literally just in the art classroom or some shit. Chill out."
"Seungmin's never gonna like me now."
"Kim Seungmin doesn't like anyone," Jisung reassures her, picking up the clothes from the floor and stuffing them into Hyunjin's closet. "Not like you had a chance with that girl."
The two of them eventually get to school, nearly late to their first classes, meaning they had no time to search for the missing sketchbook. Thankfully, Hyunjin doesn't see anyone laugh at her behind her back during her classes. The very rare chances she gets to see Kim Seungmin doesn't end up awful and terrible and whatnot. So far, she's safe. And she prays it stays that way.
"Jinnie, I think this is a little crazy," Jisung pants heavily, her blue bangs sticking to her forehead that's shining with sweat. Her face is red.
Hyunjin isn't any better. She's always been one to sweat uncontrollably, and running around through the school was showing the effect on them both. Hyunjin's white tank top is soaked, she can't be assed to focus on the uncomfortable feeling of it sticking to her boobs and back. Her flannel is tied around her waist. She feels drenched. Curse this building for having no air conditioning.
Hyunjin groans, tugging at her jeans that are clinging onto her legs, then looking at the trash bin. "This is the last place, Sungie, I swear. I'm just wondering if someone threw it out."
"It's so gross." Jisung scowls.
"Han Jisung," Hyunjin begins, placing her hands on her best friend's shoulders, which are immediately swatted off. "We have known each other for 10 years. When you were 9 years old-"
"Don't try to give me a speech right now, Hwang Hyunjin."
"Shut up. Let me continue. When you were 9 years old, I ate dirt for you so the guy who liked me would think I'm gross and you could have a chance with him instead. You ended up being a lesbian, not important. My first kiss was with you because you didn't know if you liked girls. I have to hear about your weird wet dreams involving girls at our school, especially Yang Jeongin. You can go dumpster diving with me to find my fucking sketchbook."
Jisung groans, punches Hyunjin, then climbs into the trash.
It's fucking disgusting, of course it is. Most things are in bags, but to her dismay, not everything. And she's scared that one of the bags will pop open. Hyunjin steps on a lot of cigarettes and chewed up wads of gum. She needs a shower after this, and maybe new shoes. Maybe new skin.
"God— Hyunjin, I can't find shit!"
"Keep looking!"
"This is awful!"
"Um— hi?"
They both snap up, looking over at the source of the voice. A fox-eyed girl with long black hair and purple highlights. Yang Jeongin. Looking absolutely perplexed.
Jisung stumbles and falls out of the dumpster, smacking her face against the floor. "Oh- fuck-" she looks up at Jeongin and grins, blood streaming down her nose. "Hey there. Come here often?"
"The dumpster?" She asks, tilting her head and twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Not usually. What's going on here?"
Hyunjin understands why Jisung is so obsessed with Jeongin, she's absolutely stunning. If she had her sketchbook, she would've drawn her later today. Not that she's gonna try to snatch her best friend's crush, she's just beautiful. Adorable dimples as her eyes turn into thin crescents while she smiles at Jisung (who's too busy trying to stop her bleeding nose to realize). The younger girl is wearing a simple violet dress that falls to her ankles and a cardigan, yet she's pulling it off well.
"Looking for my sketchbook," Hyunjin explains. "Have you seen it?"
"I don't know what your sketchbook looks like." Jeongin bows her head apologetically, then turns to look over at Jisung, "Are you okay?"
Hyunjin has never seen Jisung so red in the face than in this moment. Jeongin crouches down and pulls her head to face her by taking her by the chin. She inspects her nose and her face is so close Hyunjin is sure Jisung is nearly going to die.
"No. I'm Jisung," she says. Hyunjin runs off to leaves her alone with the pretty girl because she cannot witness any more than that.
The sketchbook is never found, but no negative repercussions come from her losing it. Felix gets her a new one for her about a week later, sleek black and spiral with clean, crisp paper. Hyunjin decorates the cover with stickers that Felix also gets for her. She eventually forgets about the lost sketchbook.
It's the school's art show, what Hyunjin has been anticipating for a while now. She's been working her ass off for this showcase. Even if her parents tell her it's a waste of time to focus on painting instead of studies, she's proud of herself.
The show is getting to a point where everything is winding down. Jisung, Felix, and Minho came to compliment her art and even gave her a bouquet to celebrate how proud they are of her. However, even they couldn't stay long. Hyunjin felt the twinge of sadness in her heart. She knows her friends do a lot to support her, more than her parents, but she just wishes there could be more somehow.
Checking her texts, rage bubbles up in her stomach. Asking her parents over and over if they'll be coming, just to be left on read. At the same time, she wants to cry. They can't come to show their only child some love?
"Excuse me?"
The voice isn't one Hyunjin has heard before, beautiful and sweet. Like an angelic harmony sung right from Heaven, as cliche as that is. When she turns around she meets dark brown eyes behind circular glasses, pretty brown hair in a ponytail, cute braces on her teeth, Kim Seungmin.
Now look, Hyunjin has drawn her many times before, sure. But she's never actually been up close to her face until this very moment. She's taking in every detail, every flaw and feature, drinking it in like a sweet nectar. Kim Seungmin is beautiful.
All she's known about her are from rumours. They've never talked before, she doesn't even share a class with Seungmin. Guilt comes clawing at her throat when she realizes that maybe she's been making these terrible assumptions about a girl she truly doesn't know. In this moment, Seungmin looks timid, small even though she's only a bit shorter than Hyunjin, and the anxiety on her face is clear as day.
Hyunjin blinks at her, realizing she hasn't responded. "Oh- uh- yes?"
"Is this your art?" Seungmin asks, pointing to the paintings on the display.
"Yeah- yes. It is. Why do you-"
Seungmin reaches into her bag. Just a glimpse of that light brown cover with that signature makes Hyunjin's heart stop.
Oh fuck no.
She opens it and flips through the pages for Hyunjin, displaying all the artworks of people at school, her friends, her neighbours, and most of all, Kim Seungmin. The very person holding that sketchbook.
"This was left in my locker last month," Seungmin explains. "I was going to report it to the lost and found but I saw it bookmarked to a page and I looked through the sketchbook and…"
She trails off, staring at Hyunjin's shell shocked expression. Seungmin's face becomes hesitant, unsure. There's a calculation in her eyes, as if trying to figure out what exactly Hyunjin's expression means.
"I'm so sorry," Hyunjin groans. "You must think I'm a creep for that, don't you?"
"Oh!" Seungmin says, her eyes widening "No, of course not. I actually… think they're really nice drawings," she murmurs, cheeks slightly pink. "Nobody's ever drawn me before."
Oh. She wasn't expecting that.
Hyunjin smiles softly, "Well. Thank you, Seungmin."
The two of them stand there awkwardly for a second. Seungmin seems to be trying to look anywhere but at Hyunjin's eyes. She suddenly realizes that she has her sketchbook and she hands it back to the rightful owner's hands.
However, when she gives it to Hyunjin, it's denied. Hyunjin grins at her. "Keep it. I have a new sketchbook, anyways. You deserve to have some drawings of yourself."
The red that rises in Seungmin's cheeks is delightful to witness. Her pretty lips part, and she looks like she's analyzing if Hyunjin has any ulterior motives somehow.
"Thank you…"
"Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin."
She smiles, "Hyunjin."
You is this seungmin's number?
Unknown Number Hi! Yes, is this Hyunjin?
You it is. u wanna hang out sometime soon?
Seungmin Really? Like seriously?
You yea, why wouldn't it be?
Seungmin You genuinely wanna hang around me?
You i wanna get to know u
Seungmin Oh. Well okay then. I usually hang around the library in the school if you ever want to hang around while I study.
You sounds good :)
Just like she said, Hyunjin found Seungmin in the corner of the school's library. Her glasses are slipping down her nose slightly, and Hyunjin pushes them up as she sits beside Seungmin. This causes Seungmin to jump, looking up in shock.
"You're actually here," she murmurs.
Hyunjin tilts her head "Why wouldn't I be?" She leans back in the chair, crossing her arms.
Seungmin huffs out a laugh, "Don't be stupid."
"I'm sorry?"
"I just mean- you know the things people say about me. You know why I don't even have friends." Seungmin rests her head in her hand.
Hyunjin nods slowly, she's kind of glad Seungmin is blunt about this instead of not communicating it with her. "I mean… yeah. Of course I know. But I'm not gonna believe some rumours and throw away a potential… friendship," she hums, "Besides, you're my favourite muse."
Was that too gay for a girl she's talked to once? Maybe.
Did Hyunjin find a sickening joy in seeing Seungmin's cheeks turn as red as strawberries? Fuck. Yes.
She clears her throat after a second and cleans her glasses, "Well. Um. Thank you… Hyunjin. I appreciate it."
Hyunjin can see her neck is still a bright shade of red. She feels herself grinning a little.
As Seungmin continues studying, Hyunjin sits there for a second. Realistically, she should study. Her parents always berate her, drilling into her head the fact that her grades are important. She's not gonna achieve anything with what she has right now.
But instead, she pulls out her sketchbook and gets to work. Hyunjin looks around for a second, inspecting her surroundings. The library is empty, save for the librarian over at the front desk. Hyunjin sketches a few bookshelves, a plant in front of her. The sound of her pencil scratching against her paper is like ASMR to her, she feels calm, happy. Art always makes her feel like this, a safe haven she can hide in to make herself feel better.
She doesn't realize Seungmin is very blatantly staring at her sketchbook, her eyes wide and curious. "You're a talented artist. You don't typically draw objects, though, right? I mean… I got that impression from your old sketchbook."
"Yeah. It's just that there are no people to draw right now."
Seungmin gives her a small smile, "I'm right here, aren't I? What happened to being your favourite muse?"
"Ah-" Hyunjin chokes a little on air. Kim Seungmin has some flirting skills, it seems. "Yeah. I can draw you if you want. I don't mind. Just… keep doing what you're doing."
It's the first time Hyunjin has drawn Seungmin while so close to her. She can focus on every little detail. Her nails, short and chewed up as her beautiful long fingers wrap around the pencil writing down her notes. She has the cutest knees, a shade of rosy red, which is weird to think about, but they truly are. Her socks reach just under them, and she has a pretty little white pleated skirt on to pair with it.
Hyunjin enjoys drawing while so close by to her. She can see every curve and contour of her body. The way her eyelashes flutter when she blinks. Every little flaw that makes her human. She's a masterpiece in her eyes.
After a bit, her eyes trail over Seungmin's body to get the finishing details. She makes sure to get the texture of her cotton blouse exactly right, the way the library light is reflecting on her, and…
Her eyes catch a bruise on her neck, skewed slightly by her hair. Subconsciously, Hyunjin moves her hair out of the way, earning a hand snapping up to tightly grab her wrist.
Seungmin stares at her, eyes wide, lips parted. Hyunjin stares back, just processing what she did. Fuck. That was stupid. Invading her privacy like that, is she insane?
"Sorry. Shit- I'm so sorry," Hyunjin groans, trying to get her hand out of Seungmin's grip.
The other girl blinks, slowly realizing how hard she's gripping Hyunjin, and slowly releases her hold. "I-It's alright, Hyunjin. You didn't mean to. It was just…"
"No. I get it. You're fine," Hyunjin murmurs, "No sweat. It was stupid of me to touch you like that"
Seungmin tucks her hair behind her ear, showing the bruise on her neck more clearly. But Hyunjin doesn't dare to ask, it's not her place, after all.
Once Hyunjin is done drawing her and Seungmin is done with studying for the day, Hyunjin rips out the piece of paper to give to Seungmin. She looks up at her, unsure, but Hyunjin presses it into her hand and runs out before Seungmin can give it back.
It becomes a routine, Kim Seungmin integrates into Hwang Hyunjin's daily life easily. They go to the library, and as Seungmin spends her time studying, (which is also something Hyunjin should be doing) she draws the pretty girl with the glasses and the long brunette hair.
Hyunjin finds peace in it, a break from her chaotic group of friends, even though she loves those three dearly. She's tried to get Seungmin to join them for lunch, but Seungmin always gets too scared, asking for a bit more time before she can get there.
The routine continues, and it's the only time they hang out that's apart from texting each other. That is, until Seungmin spontaneously invites her out for milkshakes, which Hyunjin accepts with no hesitation.
She dresses up as if it's a date, and maybe she'd like to believe it is one. Wearing a pretty white dress with puffy sleeves, a low cut, a frilly skirt that reaches her knees with tights underneath. She does her hair and makeup simply, because it's still just a milkshake date… hang out… whatever the fuck.
So sure. Hyunjin has a crush on Seungmin. She can finally say this. They've only had a few library hang outs. But something about Seungmin is so endearing. Hyunjin doesn't understand how she has no friends, she's become someone Hyunjin loves hanging around. They could be doing nothing but staring at each other in silence. That'd probably make her uncomfortable, she seems to dislike heavy eye contact from what Hyunjin has observed.
Grabbing her purse, Hyunjin hums to herself, fingers fiddling with her flower earrings.
"Hyunjin-ah," her mother calls out, "You're leaving?"
"Meeting with a friend," she responds.
Her mother comes into view, leaning against the doorframe, "Jisung?" she asks, voice laced with a stinging disapproval. "Minho? Felix?"
The tone of her mom made Hyunjin flinch, a nauseating feeling of hurt that tugs on her heartstrings. Her parents never hid their distaste for her friends. Even Felix, the literal embodiment of sunshine, can't melt away the ice cold personalities of Mr. and Mrs. Hwang. They had standards that Hyunjin would spend time around respectable people who care about assignments and studying, not encouraging the artist in her.
"No," she murmurs, "None of them. I'm meeting up with a girl I've become friends with. You don't know her."
Mrs. Hwang hums, studying Hyunjin's face, "Just be home before 9:00. Don't get into any trouble. You did your homework?"
Hyunjin nods, biting her lip so hard it could draw blood. Anyone who knew Hyunjin would be able to tell she's lying. But her parents didn't know her, and they never will.
She manages to escape her home without any more words about school and work and 'Hwang Hyunjin, you'll never get anywhere with your little doodles'. Hyunjin makes it to the milkshake place, she can see Seungmin through the window, wearing a pair of headphones and staring down at the table. Hyunjin clutches her purse and walks through the door.
As if expecting it, Seungmin's head snaps up. She pulls her headphones off and stares at Hyunjin as she approaches, eyes trailing her until she's seating directly in front of her.
"Oh… wow," Seungmin murmurs softly. "You look really pretty, Hyunjin."
Hyunjin can feel the heat rise up in her cheeks and she huffs out soft laughter, "Thank you, Seungminnie."
The nickname comes out naturally, it's not one that she's ever actually called Seungmin before. She looks up at the girl to see her reaction, but she looks normal. Simply sitting and staring at Hyunjin's dress.
The two of them eventually order their milkshakes. Seungmin gets a mint chocolate chip shake and Hyunjin judges her a little as a joke. She watches as Seungmin's expression gets a little insecure, and worry builds up in her chest that she went too far, about to reassure her that she actually loves mint chocolate. But then Seungmin bites back with a teasing "You just don't understand what a good flavour is."
They sit together, sipping milkshakes. It's quiet, save for the background chatter of workers and customers. Hyunjin can't stand the silence for very long and clears her throat, "So… milkshake date, huh? I guess you like being around me."
Seungmin chokes a bit on her drink, "It's not a date, I-I just wanted to see if you wanted to do something other than sit in a library…" she trails off. Hyunjin feels as if there's more than just that, and she doesn't know if she should push or not.
Hyunjin looks at her for a second, waiting for there to be a continuation, but there isn't. So she stares at her straw, "That's all?"
"Yup. No other reason. I'm not like, gonna drag you somewhere to kill you or something."
Hyunjin lets out a giggle, running her hand through her hair, "Well, I wasn't thinking about that until you said it!"
The noise that she hears makes her heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly. Seungmin's laughter. A hand covering her mouth as she lets out a soft giggle.
Without thinking, Hyunjin moves her hand away from her mouth. "Don't hide your smile," she murmurs, "I love seeing it."
Suddenly, she's much closer than she was before.
Seungmin looks up at Hyunjin, eyes wide. That pretty pink flush appears on her face again. Hyunjin might be imagining it, but she swears Seungmin keeps looking at her lips.
"Seungminnie-"
The brown haired girl suddenly moves away. Her body tenses up, inhaling a breath sharper than a knife.
Hyunjin shrinks from her, stumbling over her words, "Sorry- did I make you uncomfortable? I didn't mean to-"
"No," Seungmin whispers, "No. It isn't you. I'm sorry, Hyunjin- I have to-"
Hyunjin follows her line of sight. And she sees two boys that she recognizes from their grade. Hyunjin has never talked to either of them, they have a reputation for being annoying little shits, as teenage boys typically are.
Seeing Seungmin's face, full of fear, makes Hyunjin's stomach churn. There's something behind this that she is unaware of. And before she can ask anything, Seungmin is off.
The two boys she was looking at before notice it immediately, and they nudge each other wildly before rushing out of the building to follow. Hyunjin can feel her heartbeat in her ears, standing up so quick her chair topples over, and she runs after them.
She's not thinking about where she's going, her feet ache as she runs in her Doc Martens that she hasn't broken in yet. Not that she cares, all that's in her mind is 'Seungmin, Seungmin, Seungmin', while her legs take her the direction she sees the boys going in, who unfortunately run faster than she does.
"Well, if it isn't president of loser town, Kim Seungmin."
Seungmin huffs, crossing her arms, "That's the worst insult I've ever heard, what are you, a bully from a movie?"
Hyunjin stands back, proud of Seungmin. She tries to figure out what the best course of action is at the moment.
Although, she immediately jumps in the moment a boy delivers a slap to Seungmin's face. The sound of skin against skin making anger rise in her chest.
Hyunjin steps in between him and Seungmin, staring down the two boys.
"Who the fuck are you?" One of them snarls.
"Hyunjin," Seungmin gasps softly, wrapping her fingers around her wrist gently.
Hyunjin narrows her eyes at them both, "Doesn't fucking matter. Leave her alone."
"You're defending this freak?"
"This freak happens to be my friend," she spits out, those words making them stare in shock. "And she's done nothing against you assholes"
The boy that hit Seungmin, who only reaches Hyunjin's shoulders, looks back and forth at the two of them. He's unsure of what to do, but the other one rushes up and attempts to punch Hyunjin square in the jaw.
Hyunjin doesn't get in many fights, but she's been involved in enough to know how to retaliate. She grabs the boy's fist and knees him right in the balls.
As he falls to the ground in agony, Hyunjin takes a hold of Seungmin's hand and runs off with her. They find a bench to sit on once they're a considerable distance away, panting heavily.
Hyunjin huffs softly after she catches her breath, murmuring, "I can't believe people." And as she rotates around to look at Seungmin, she hears a soft sob.
Kim Seungmin, who has truly not shown much emotion on her face other than a few soft smiles and the laughter she shared with Hyunjin, is crying. Tears roll down her cheeks, her hand is covering her mouth to muffle her sounds.
One of her cheeks have a red hand print on it, and Hyunjin cups it gently. "I prefer when your cheeks are red with blush from things I tell you, not this."
"You defended me," Seungmin sniffles, "You followed me here and defended me from them."
Hyunjin tilts her head, "'Course I did. I wasn't just gonna let you run off and be a bystander to shit like this."
Her fingers run under her eyes to wipe the tears away. Seungmin looks up at her, "I'm your friend?"
"Yeah," Hyunjin hums.
Seungmin nods, "I uh… I invited you to meet up with me for milkshakes to see if you genuinely wanted to hang out with me more often and in like… public? I dunno…"
That somehow makes sense. A girl who has no friends and has terrible rumours about her being suspicious when another girl suddenly so desperately wants to hang out with her. Hyunjin can't say she understands, but she gets where Seungmin is coming from.
"The bruises you saw on my neck are from some other kids at our school. I'm just… they attack me sometimes," Seungmin mumbles gently.
Hyunjin's heart squeezes in her chest, "Have you told the school?"
"Not like they care much." Seungmin wipes at her tears, but as she does, a fresh set of them come rolling down.
In that moment, she wraps the brown haired girl in arms, and Hyunjin vows to herself that she will protect Kim Seungmin from all the harm in the world.
Hyunjin asks Seungmin if she wants to sit with her and her friends during lunch. Seungmin acts like she's asking her to hide a body.
Three days later, she's dragging Seungmin by the arm to her designated table with her friends.
They all look at her as if she grew a second head. But Hyunjin just clears her throat and holds her chin high.
"Guys. This is Seungmin. Well… you know that. But Seungminnie is my friend now, so she's gonna be sitting with us. Behave." At that last word, Hyunjin glares at the three of them, trying to make sure they're aware how serious she is about this.
Minho speaks first, "Well. Sit down." She crosses her arms. As always, Felix is snuggling against her side. Jisung is still staring back and forth at Hyunjin and Seungmin incredulously.
Hyunjin sits with Seungmin sticking close to her side. She makes sure to hold her hand and squeeze it, it's sweaty, but Hyunjin doesn't mind. Seungmin needs the comfort in the moment.
It's quiet for some reason, awkward. Seungmin looks five seconds away from crying, which isn't an expression Hyunjin typically sees on her face.
"No need to be awkward," Minho hums softly, "So, what's it like being student body president, Seungmin?"
Seungmin looks up at her, "Oh. Uh. It's okay. There's not much to say about it, if I'm being honest. I feel like I don't do much, anyhow."
"I've seen you work on school events and whatnot in the library," Hyunjin murmurs, running her thumb back and forth against Seungmin's hand. Felix, Minho, and Jisung look up at her, just now learning of the fact they seem to be hanging out on the regular.
She watches as strands of brunette hair are tucked behind Seungmin's ear and she shrugs. "I guess. I still feel like I don't do enough work for this school."
Minho looks up at her, "Don't sell yourself short. I'm sure you're doing just fine."
Felix nods in agreement, playing with Minho's hair. "You're the president for a reason!"
"Seungminnie is soooo talented," Hyunjin coos, pinching the girl in mention's cheek, getting promptly slapped away. Hyunjin whines dramatically, and Seungmin isn't even looking at her, but she sees the pink flush in her cheeks and tips of her ears.
"So, when did this happen?" Jisung points back and forth at the two of them, "Kim Seungmin stealing my best friend?"
"Jisung-"
Seungmin chuckles a little, "You can have her back, if you want."
Hyunjin looks at her, pouting, "Giving me away so carelessly? Do I mean nothing to you, Seungminnie?"
She can't help but smile as she sees Seungmin's nervous energy fade. She's getting comfortable. Hyunjin tries to let go of her hand now that she doesn't need to be reassuring her, but Seungmin holds on tighter. So Hyunjin doesn't let go, she enjoys the warmth as their fingers are intertwined beneath the lunch table.
"Hyunjin seems to enjoy drawing me," Seungmin muses, taking a bite out of her lunch. "Someone put her sketchbook in my locker and on arts night I saw her drawings and… well… the rest is history."
Felix giggles, "So that's where it went. Jinnie was going crazy looking for it for a while."
"Tore up her entire room when searching for that book," Jisung adds.
"So, are you two dating?" Minho asks. It makes Hyunjin choke on her water, coughing harshly. Seungmin unfortunately lets go of her hand to rub up and down her back. Such a simple gesture, yet it leaves shivers down Hyunjin's spine in wake of her touch.
Seungmin shakes her head, "No. We're not. Just friends." and Hyunjin has to pretend not to feel the stinging disappointment that those words cause her. She knows this. They're friends. Nothing more. A few measly hangouts and she's expecting Seungmin to be head over heels?
"I'm surprised. Hyunjin has been-"
"Hey, Jisung unnie!" A voice calls, effectively cutting off whatever Jisung was about to say. She should be thankful since Hyunjin was about to throttle her. Jeongin is walking over to her table, Chan and Changbin in tow.
All three of them are beautiful girls, and Hyunjin understands why they're popular. She knows Chan and Changbin somewhat well, since they're friends with Jisung. Not only are they gorgeous, with their big muscles and charming faces, but they're also incredibly kind, even with the ego boost that is high school popularity.
"Can we sit here?" Jeongin asks sweetly, her lashes fluttering as she blinks her fox eyes at Jisung. Hyunjin watches Jisung's entire face grow red as she splutters, only able to nod.
Karma feels fan-fucking-tastic.
Hyunjin makes a soft noise when she feels Seungmin moving her hand near hers. She sees the anxiety growing on her again, and Hyunjin's heart flutters. Seungmin is finding comfort in her. Holy shit.
They've never had this many people at their lunch table. No less three incredibly popular girls at school. And Seungmin has never sat with anybody at lunch ever, so no doubt it especially overwhelming for her.
Hyunjin stares at Jeongin and Jisung. Somehow these two have started talking. And Jisung hasn't told her at all. She used to run away when Jeongin was five metres from her, now she's leaning near the younger girl, still with a red face but a lot more relaxed.
She's glad, she supposes. As long as her best friend is happy.
Like everything she's done with Kim Seungmin, it becomes normalcy. Now at lunch, Seungmin comes to sit with Hyunjin and her friends. Some days, Jeongin, Chan, and Changbin join them, other times, Jisung is over with them. Hyunjin watches from afar as her best friend grows closer and closer to her long time crush.
On the topic of crushes, Hyunjin is quite sure she is head over heels for Seungmin. It's only been a month and a half since they started talking, but she's always been certain of her feelings when it comes to romance. Every day, she realizes more and more how much she yearns for that girl. Her sketchbook is littered with just Seungmin. She thinks about her constantly.
It's been more apparent now that Seungmin is actually part of her friend group. Seeing her interact with her friends so naturally, her true personality shining. Seungmin is a menace, teasing and sly and oh so endearing that Hyunjin wants to kiss the living daylights out of her. She's perfect.
So when Seungmin doesn't show up to school one day, Hyunjin's entire day is ruined. Not to be dramatic or anything.
"They grow up so fast," Minho tuts softly, patting Hyunjin's hair. "Everyone's in love, aren't they, Lixie?"
Felix nods, giggling, "We were first, though". The four of them are sitting outside the school on the grass, the sun shining down brightly on them. Hyunjin shields her eyes with her hands, staring at Felix in Jisung's lap, getting her hair braided.
"I wouldn't call it love," Hyunjin says, "Love is a very deep and beautiful feeling, I don't wanna say that so early. It's a crush"
Minho shrugs, "If you say so. Jisungie, how's Yang Jeongin?"
Jisung grins brightly, "We're gonna get married one day. She just doesn't know it yet"
"I better be your maid of honour!" Hyunjin points to her scrutinizingly, "You promised when we were 12!"
"Of course, of course," Jisung groans, "I'm a woman of my word, Jinnie"
Hyunjin goes home that day with a pit in her stomach. Seungmin hasn't answered any of her texts all day. If Hyunjin knew where she lived, she would go check on her. It's weird that she thinks of this now, but she's realizing she truly doesn't know as much about Seungmin as she thinks she does.
You hope you're okay seungminnie <3 missed you today.
You you should come over sometime! drop by whenever honestly i'll send my address
After a quick typing of her address and an exhale of a shaky breath she didn't realize she was holding, Hyunjin goes inside her house. She runs up the stairs before her parents see her, not in the mood for their questions asking how school was and if she has homework. She can't handle this when she's worried about her friend.
Hyunjin immediately goes to bed after she quickly gets ready. She can eat later, she just wants to wake up and see Seungmin the next morning.
Her eyes snap open when she hears a tapping at her window.
Call her crazy. No, she's definitely crazy. But Hyunjin opens it before she checks who's there.
Seungmin definitely agrees that she's insane, because it's the first thing she comments on when she climbs through the window. "You must have a death wish or something, huh?"
"Just sensed it was my beautiful muse behind my window." Hyunjin grins, shutting the window.
When she finally gets a good look at her face, she sees puffy red eyes, a pink and runny nose, and wet cheeks. Seungmin sits crossed-legged on her bed, staring down at her hands.
"Hey," Hyunjin whispers, leaning forward to tuck her brown locks behind her ears. She's gotten it trimmed.
"Hi," Seungmin murmurs and sniffles, "Sorry."
"What about?"
"Coming into your room at midnight." Seungmin shuffles forward, and Hyunjin opens her arms wide.
Hyunjin wraps her arms around her and strokes her back, feeling the other girl lean into her touch. "I don't mind, Seungminnie." She presses her cheek against the top of her hair. "Jisungie would do it all the time when her parents fought." She feels Seungmin tense at that. "You wanna talk about it?"
A soft shrug against her chest. So Hyunjin stays quiet and patient. She lets the clock tick by as she runs her fingers through Seungmin's hair as gently as she can.
They end up laying in Hyunjin's bed together. Seungmin is laying on her chest, her sobs subsiding into quiet sniffles. No words are exchanged at the moment, but Hyunjin doesn't mind. She's exactly where she wants to be.
When Seungmin starts singing softly to herself, Hyunjin's heart soars. Her voice is so calming, like a lullaby, a soothing balm that washes over Hyunjin's body. Everything about Seungmin just displays her beauty. And Hyunjin wonders how in the world people seem to dislike her.
The singing slows to a halt eventually. Seungmin seems to have gotten self conscious. Hyunjin presses her lips to her head, not exactly a kiss, although she wishes it could be.
"You have a lovely voice," Hyunjin murmurs once it's quiet again, "Really. You're my muse and my singer, huh?"
Seungmin huffs, "I'm alright."
"No. You're really talented. Seungminnie. You should like… participate in the school talent show."
"Hah. God no. I'd be laughed off the stage," Seungmin chuckles, "You basically want me dead."
Hyunjin hits her shoulder lightly, "I wouldn't do that," she scoffs. "Your voice is just… it's so pretty, Seungminnie. Just like you."
Seungmin looks up, eyes shining like the stars in the night sky. "Really?"
"Of course really."
"I'll… I'll consider it," Seungmin whispers gently.
Yet again, a blanket of silence enveloped them. It was incredibly intimate, holding Seungmin to her chest like this. They've never done this before. Yet it feels so right, a missing puzzle piece being put into place. Seungmin belongs here with her.
"I'll tell you what happened," Seungmin murmurs.
Seungmin's parents fight regularly. The day she didn't show up to school, they got mad at her and took her phone away. Which is why she didn't answer Hyunjin's texts.
She doesn't tell her why they fight. But she says it's mainly her fault that they began to in the first place (which Hyunjin highly doubts). They've refuse to get a divorce, though, so Seungmin has to suffer through argument after argument.
Seungmin starts sneaking out and staying at Hyunjin's place overnight. Her parents don't notice, neither do Hyunjin's.
Hyunjin tells her about her parents. Their high expectations on her, how they don't care for her passions, how they disapprove of anything she does that makes her happy. They find solace in the fact that they both have shitty situations. Seungmin becomes her favourite person.
The talent show is nearing, and Seungmin has agreed to participate. It was easier than expected to convince her, Hyunjin had to just beg a few times before Seungmin folded. As Hyunjin has said, Seungmin is both her muse and her singer.
"Do we really have to go?" Seungmin groans, brushing through her newly trimmed hair with Hyunjin's comb. The two of them are getting ready for a party at Chan's house, not that Seungmin is any bit enthusiastic about it.
Hyunjin hums, focusing on applying her makeup. Although she can't help but have her eyes flit over to Seungmin. As always, she's dressed simply, in an overall dress and a short sleeve collared shirt under it with frilly knee-high socks. No glasses on this time, unfortunately for Hyunjin (no matter what, she's the most beautiful thing on Earth though).
Their outfits reflect their different styles to a tee. While Seungmin is dressed all dandy and like the perfect girl to bring home to your parents, Hyunjin most likely would be seen as quite the opposite. A dark red dress with a leather jacket and Doc Martens, paired with fishnet tights and multitudes of accessories.
"You're so cute, Seungminnie!" Hyunjin squeals, hugging her from behind. "If you get really uncomfortable, we can leave, deal?" She holds her pinky out for Seungmin to intertwine with her out.
Seungmin takes a few seconds to stare at her pinky, before letting out an amused huff and wrapping it around Hyunjin's with a soft smile. "Yeah. Okay. Deal."
They make it to the party, and Hyunjin immediately loses Seungmin in the crowd. Panic surges through her the moment the girl is not by her side. Oh god. She's a terrible horrible friend. She deserves to die. She just lost Seungmin not even ten minutes into the party. What the fuck is wrong with her?
"Hyunjin?"
The voice snaps her out of her thoughts, and Hyunjin turns to see Chan and Changbin standing there. Hyunjin must look like she's on the verge of tears, which is how she feels, because the two girls are staring at her with concern in their eyes. Although it's a bad time to be paying attention to something like this, Hyunjin notices Chan's hand in Changbin's back pocket. She stores that away in the back of her brain for later.
Changbin tilts her head, Hyunjin used to have a crush on the girl. Her large muscles and beautiful face yet oh so sweet personality was everything to her. When Jisung introduced her to the older girl, she fell for her immediately. It was short lived though, Changbin's eyes were on someone else.
Hyunjin doesn't realize Changbin is trying to talk to her until she waves a hand over her face. "Hyunjinnie. What's going on?"
She makes eye contact with her, letting out a shaky breath. Words. She knows how to use those. Yeah. "Uh. Seungmin. I lost her." She murmurs, hopefully loud enough over the blaring music in the room.
"You lost her?" Chan asks gently, looking around the room "We can help you look. I can't seem to find her, but it's a bit busy in here"
Hyunjin nods, immediately following the lead of the two older girls. The room is suffocating. Hyunjin is drowning in the smell of people's colognes and perfumes, or even worse, their sweat. Why did she even want to come here? Because it was the first time a popular girl invited her to a party? Was she really so desperate for this validation?
They eventually find Seungmin, hidden in the tub of Chan's guest bathroom. There's a straight couple making out against the wall, unaware that she's there. Hyunjin screams at them, telling them they should focus more on their surroundings. After that, she drags Seungmin out and locks the both of them in Chan's bedroom with her permission.
Seungmin has been sitting on the bed for the past twenty minutes, knees drawn close to her chest. She's stopped shaking at least. But she looks terrible, like she's five seconds away from crying. Hyunjin touches her shoulder lightly and Seungmin bursts into tears.
"Shit-" Hyunjin panics immediately, looking around before finding the box of tissues on Chan's bedside table. She places it right next to Seungmin. Then watches from a distance until the girl calms down.
Seungmin sniffles and looks up "Sorry," she murmurs "Overwhelmed." The makeup Hyunjin applied to her is running down her eyes, she's squinting, the eyeliner probably got in there. Hyunjin takes a tissue and waits for Seungmin to give her the go ahead before she gently wipes at her face.
"Don't apologize," Hyuniin says, watching Seungmin's eyes flutter closed.
"I should've told you," Seungmin whispers softly, "That I'm autistic."
Hyunjin looks up at her, "Ah. So this was overstimulating for you?"
Seungmin sniffles and nods, "I mean, not even just because of that. I just don't like lots of people. I feel judged… 'cause people don't like me much."
"Don't really understand why. You're…" Hyunjin trails off, "Perfect."
That's not enough to describe her. Hyunjin wants to tell her how she's everything to her. She wants to kiss her softly and hold her in her arms while she whispers how beautiful she is. Not just in looks, but in personality. Behind her mischievous charm that is already so endearing is a kindhearted girl. A girl who has been sheltered from friendship because of the cruelty of others who couldn't even give her a chance.
And oh wow. Hyunjin is in love with her. Real, genuine love.
"Well," Seungmin sniffled, "I've attempted to have friends when I was younger. Every time, they couldn't 'handle' me. Said I was too weird, too particular. Some popular girls took a liking to me because I was the weird girl, then bullied me behind my back. Called me a heartless bitch. Spread rumours and whatnot. So, now everyone thinks I'm a freak and enjoys making my life miserable."
Hyunjin stares at her for a second, blinking a few times. Boiling rage is bubbling up under her skin. How dare they? Just because Seungmin is autistic they feel the need to torture her like this? It's so infuriating, so stupid.
"Even my parents started fighting 'cause of me. When I got diagnosed, my dad started accusing my mom of cheating on him. My sister turned out completely normal and me? Some screwed up loser."
"They're awful people," Hyunjin spits out, not wanting to hear any further. "Seungmin, I've known you for a while now and I'm so glad I've met you. They're idiots, absolute idiots. Everyone should love you."
She hopes Seungmin knows she means it.
She's pretty sure she does, because the next minute, Seungmin's lips are on hers.
It's a little messy, a bit uncoordinated. Seungmin is nowhere near being a good kisser, her inexperience is obvious. She somehow bites Hyunjin's lip on accident. But Hyunjin doesn't care, she's kissing Seungmin.
Her head is reeling by the time Seungmin pulls away, cheeks puffed out and a soft pink. She looks down at her hands, "Sorry. Should've asked first."
"I don't mind." Hyunjin shakes her head, disoriented.
Seungmin sniffles, "Is it okay if we stay friends? I'm just not… ready for a relationship. Even though I want it to be with you." She looks up, eyelashes fluttering just like Hyunjin's heart.
It's understandable. Hyunjin doesn't want to move too fast, and it's a big step, from being her first real friend to being her girlfriend. She truly doesn't mind, either way. Seungmin says she wants to be with her, and that makes her heart soar. She can wait as long as she needs to if it means being with Seungmin.
"Yeah. That's fine." Hyunjin nods, incapable of biting down the smile that rises. Seungmin likes her. Kim Seungmin likes her. Holy shit.
They're quiet for a second. Then Seungmin asks, "Want to hear the song I'm singing for the talent show?"
Hyunjin nods, and she sketches her as she's serenaded. Everything is alright.
They eventually leave, sneaking out of Chan's window to avoid the crowd and managing to climb down the house safely. They run to the playground near Hyunjin's house and sit on the swings.
Hyunjin sketches her again. Seungmin staring at the stars, the moonlight casting an ethereal glow against her. Her hands wrapped around the chains of the swing.
It's quiet. They both know they don't need words. They just need each other. Hyunjin is fine with this. Hyunjin couldn't be happier.
Seungmin is pale and shaking in the backstage of the school's auditorium. She's drank about 5 cups of water and went to the bathroom to dry heave more times than Hyunjin can count.
"Seungminnie," Hyunjin sighs softly "Come on. You're gonna do great."
When Seungmin begin to pace around the room again, Hyunjin pulls her into a hug. She feels her body instantly relax against her, and they stand there for a moment in silence.
Minho enters the room and stares at the two of them, "Are you two done being gay?"
Seungmin looks up at Minho and flips her off. The two of them have developed an odd cat and dog relationship, at first Hyunjin assumed they hated each other, but it seems that this is how they show their affection.
"Great. Now I have bad luck because Lee Minho came in here," Seungmin murmurs, getting a smack to the head in retaliation. Hyunjin giggles softly and ruffles her hair, making Seungmin mutter to herself how she's always being attacked.
"Seungmin-ah," Minho calls out to her, bringing Seungmin's attention over to the older girl, who is handing her another cup of water. "Go kick everyone's asses."
"She's not fighting anyone. It's a talent show." Hyunjin scoffs out a laugh.
Minho raises an eyebrow, "Does she not win anything?"
"Nope."
"How stupid."
Seungmin whines, "This isn't reassuring me! Get out, Minho unnie!" she begins to shove Minho out of the room, but she's honestly too weak to do anything other than force Minho to move.
A few acts later of some boring performances and some somewhat interesting ones, Seungmin's turn is next. After Seo Changbin shows her innate ability of heavy lifting while rapping at the same time. What the hell, sure.
Hyunjin did Seungmin's makeup, the glittery eyeshadow shimmers in the dim lighting. But even that can't outshine her eyes as she stares up at Hyunjin.
"Can I give you a good luck kiss?" Hyunjin chuckles softly. She's joking, she thinks. It's not like she stays up at night thinking about their kiss at the party. She's normal. She swears.
Seungmin pretends to think for a second until Hyunjin begins to pout. And yet again, they're kissing. It's soft and brief, and it makes Hyunjin's heart soar.
"Let me take you out on a date after this, please?" Hyunjin asks softly, thumb caressing her cheek.
"I-"
"Next up is Kim Seungmin!"
Hyunjin should kill someone. But instead she pats Seungmin's shoulder, "You'll do great. We'll talk after you blow everyone away."
Seungmin nods, kisses her cheek, and rushes out onto the stage. And Hyunjin stands behind the curtains, sketchbook out. She draws Seungmin as she stands there, singing into the microphone with all her passion. Hyunjin watches all the nervousness melt away from her body, every note releases with such beauty and warmth, a tight hug that fills you with joy.
Hyunjin kind of wants to keep her all to herself. It's selfish, Seungmin deserves to be seen and appreciated by others. She's so amazing. But there's still a little part of Hyunjin that wants to lock her up and keep her with her 24/7, just for her eyes only.
She's working on her sketch as the song slows to an end, and she feels a buzz in her pocket. Hyunjin sighs softly and grabs her phone.
Jisung jeongin said she saw some people up above the stage
You what does that mean?
Staring at the three moving dots as Jisung writes, she isn't watching the stage. She doesn't see what happens. Her head only snaps up when she hears the splat and the gasps from the crowd.
Standing on stage is Kim Seungmin, microphone in hand, covered in what seems to be mashed up tomatoes. It's dripping down her body. Ruining her outfit, her makeup, her hair.
But most importantly, ruining her spirit.
Hyunjin's blood boils as she hears the crowd laugh, as the principal tries to get the stage under control. Seungmin takes her shoes off and rushes out of the auditorium. Hyunjin immediately follows.
"Seungmin!" She calls out, running as fast as she can towards the girl. They end up outside the school, Seungmin is sobbing.
"You fucking planned this, didn't you?" Seungmin points at her accusingly, then slaps her hand away when she tries to clean her off.
Hyunjin stares at her in shock. Confusion filling her senses, "What, no, I would never-"
"I'm so stupid! Trusting you, as if anyone would actually want to be my friend. You told me to participate in this stupid talent show so you could humiliate me!"
"What- Seungminnie, you know me!" Hyunjin defends herself desperately. "I swear I wouldn't do something like this to you."
Seungmin turns away "I'm so sick of making friends and ending up being betrayed in the end"
Hyunjin scoffs, a sudden rage filling her "You're basically saying you don't know me, you don't trust me? After everything I've done? You really are heartless!"
She doesn't know why she said it. She doesn't know why she's so mad. The look on Seungmin's face makes her want to sob. Seungmin is overwhelmed, of course her judgement is screwed. And now she said such an awful thing.
And Seungmin is running off.
Hyunjin stomps back to the auditorium. The mess was cleaned up and the talent show has continued. Nobody even cares about what just happened, not even the principal. Those two boys from the milkshake shop are performing.
Her vision goes red, and Hyunjin goes in for the punch.
Suspended for a month. That's what Hyunjin got for beating up two boys on the stage of the school. It honestly could've been worse. Hyunjin doesn't really care.
What she does care about is Seungmin. The memory of their argument haunts her. Heartless. What a terrible thing to call the girl you're in love with who just got humiliated in front of the entire student body.
She's also grounded, so texting or going to visit Seungmin isn't something she can do. Well, she doesn't even know where she lives in the first place.
Hyunjin hasn't left her bedroom other than to piss and eat. She's miserable. She spends her days drawing Seungmin.
On her fifth day of suspension, Hyunjin sneaks out of her window and runs to Jisung's house.
The spare key is easy to find, considering how often Hyunjin comes over. She unlocks the door. Jisung and Jeongin are making out on the couch.
"Fucking finally!" Hyunjin says, making Jisung squeak, punch Jeongin in the jaw, and fall off the couch. Jeongin just giggles at her, massaging her jaw gently.
Jisung jumps up from the ground, staring a Hyunjin as if she's a ghost. She runs over to Hyunjin and starts poking her all over her body "You're real! I thought you got grounded!"
"I escaped the prison called my home," Hyunjin groans dramatically, "I needed to see you"
"We haven't talked in a while, hm?" Jisung murmurs softly, leading Hyunjin to the couch. Jisung sits next to Jeongin, who slings an arm around her waist.
The realization sets in. Yeah. They haven't. Jisung and Hyunjin have been attached at the hip since they were kids, the first time they met, they didn't get along very well. But eventually, after Hyunjin defended Jisung from some mean older boys, the two of them grew close. While they do hang out at times still, it's true that the two friends haven't been seeing each other as often as they're used to.
"Well, you've been busy with Jeongin it seems…" Hyunjin murmurs.
Jisung nods, "And you've been busy with Seungmin."
At the mention of the name, Hyunjin flinches. Jisung's eyes widen and Jeongin raises an eyebrow.
Hyunjin can't stop herself. The word vomit immediately escapes her, and she's telling them both what happened. Everything from the start, when she met Seungmin, the bullying, convincing her to join the talent show, kissing her, and then the day of the talent show. She can't slow down once she gets herself revved up, and she finds herself panting once she's done. The couple (question mark) are staring at her in shock.
"Wow," Jisung murmurs, "You haven't told me any of this shit!"
Hyunjin groans into her hands, "I know, I'm sorry! I can't believe it, I tell you everything!"
Jeongin tilts her head, "Sorry to interject into this, but… shouldn't you go talk to her?"
"She hates me!" Hyunjin exclaims, gripping at her hair.
"I doubt it," Jeongin shrugs, "It was in the heat of the moment. She was overwhelmed and got humiliated in front of practically the entire school, I'm sure her common sense wasn't working properly. It seems like you two just need to talk it out"
Jisung makes kissy faces at Jeongin, who is pulling away but has an amused smile. "My Innie is so mature!" and Jeongin eventually lets her plant a kiss on her lips.
It's disgustingly sweet. Hyunjin can't believe Jisung managed to get with her crush since middle school, she feels like a proud mother in some way. Seeing her baby all grown up. Then she cringes at the fact she even thought something like this.
"I would go talk to her but my phone got taken away and I don't know where she lives," Hyunjin explains, deciding she needs to interrupt Jeongin and Jisung as soon as possible.
"Oh. She lives across from my house," Jeongin says, as if it's obvious, "Here. Lemme give you the address."
Hyunjin leaves Jisung's house with a paper in hand and her heart beating in her chest. But first, she heads home. She can't show up at Seungmin's in ratty pyjamas, unkempt hair, and unbrushed teeth.
When she sneaks back into her bedroom, she freezes at the sight of her parents standing in there. Their arms are crossed, and Hyunjin's heart drops to her ass.
"See, this is what I'm saying." Her father shakes his head in disapproval, "All this art stuff, the people she's hanging around, even the way she dresses. Our daughter is becoming a delinquent!"
Hyunjin huffs, already feeling the hot tension of tears burning at her eyes. She can't deal with this right now. "I'm not-"
"Do not interrupt me, Hyunjin," his stern voice cuts in, "You have no idea how upset I am, how upset we both are! You're our only child, and the way you act has changed significantly, where is our daughter?"
"I'm right here!" Hyunjin says, her voice breaking, the tears begin immediately, "Being myself!"
Her mother scoffs, "Being yourself? You're rebelling! Missing so many assignments, having some silly dream of becoming an artist, that Jisung girl planted those things in your brain, hasn't she?"
Hyunjin furiously wipes at her tears, "'That Jisung girl' is my best fucking friend! And she's a great student, better than I could ever be. She has nothing to do with this. I'm an artist because I have a passion for it, a love for it. If you actually bothered to show up to my art shows you would know!"
The tears are blurring her vision right now. Everything hurts. The sting of never being appreciated or acknowledged prickles at her skin. Her parent's stares weigh heavy even as she avoids looking at them. It's stomach-churning, she feels bile crawling at her throat.
"Now she's talking back and swearing at us," Mr. Hwang huffs. "Where did our perfect girl go?"
Hyunjin is already opening her window, "I'm right here. I've always been here, you guys just don't try to actually know me. Instead, you hide behind this idea that I'm some perfect doll for you to control. I'm sick of it, I want to do what I enjoy, and your expectations are hurting me."
She doesn't wait to hear their next words, because she's climbing out the window. The painful twisting of her ankle as she jumps down goes ignored, she just runs. Her head is reeling, she's sobbing so violently she feels like she'll puke.
Hyunjin knocks on the door.
A creak. Round glasses and soft brown eyes. Pretty pink lips, braces on her teeth, straight bangs across her forehead, and hair that spills over her shoulders.
Kim Seungmin.
Without thinking, Hyunjin kisses her. On her doorstep, face covered in tears and snot. She can't find herself to care.
"I'm sorry," Hyunjin murmurs between kisses, Seungmin is holding onto her, leading her inside. "Fuck, Seungminnie. I'm so sorry."
Seungmin shakes her head, her own tears trailing down her cheeks. "No, no. Don't apologize. I'm sorry. I was so stupid-" she's cut off by another press of Hyunjin's lips against hers, "What happened to you?"
"Grounded" Hyunjin explains as she holds Seungmin's face like she's the most precious thing on the Earth. That's what she is to her, though. "I snuck out, then fought with my parents. I'm so sick of them."
"I know," Seungmin says against her lips, already chasing them for another kiss. They stand in the hallways for a bit, kissing over and over. It's as if they think the other will disappear if the let go.
Hyunjin inhales sharply, "I love you. God, Seungminnie. I love you. I got suspended, y'know? 'Cause I beat those guys up to defend you."
"I heard. I love you too, you idiot."
They end up in Seungmin's room, Seungmin brushing through Hyunjin's messy hair and allowing her to borrow her clothes and finally be able to brush her teeth. After that, they cuddle as Seungmin talks to her about baseball. It's her special interest, Seungmin explains. Hyunjin could tell just by looking at Seungmin's room, which is exactly what she said before Seungmin kisses her silly.
The sun sets at some point. Hyunjin clings to Seungmin's side. They just woke up from a nap, and Hyunjin doesn't want to leave.
"They're gonna kill me."
Seungmin laughs and kisses her, "They will not. I won't allow it."
"You gonna come save me?" Hyunjin rests her head on her shoulder. She bats her eyelashes.
Seungmin flushes, whispering out a soft "Maybe".
An hour passes before Seungmin and Hyunjin walk to Hyunjin's house. They hold hands, and Hyunjin feels stronger than ever.
Hyunjin shuffles around nervously, looking all over the crowd. She keeps checking her phone, knowing that they'll be here soon, bur time is ticking by too slow.
Her sweaty hands run through her hair. The buzz cut she's gotten a few months ago is growing back. She assumed her parents would kill her, but after the argument they had a long talk, and they're trying to understand their daughter a little bit more now.
Which now returns her to this moment. The end of the year art show. Somehow, her parents have agreed that they would come. The first time they've ever cared about Hyunjin's art, and it's nice to see that they're trying. Although it feels odd.
Seungmin will be there, though.
"Excuse me?"
Hyunjin grins. Speak of the devil. She turns around to meet eyes with her. A bright smile that unfortunately doesn't come with braces anymore, her hair tied into a ponytail, glasses sitting on her nose. She's wearing one of Hyunjin's loose fitting t-shirts and a skirt under, and in her arms is…
A sketchbook?
"Is this your art?" Seungmin tilts her head, smiling teasingly.
With a raised eyebrow, Hyunjin nods "It is."
"Well…" Seungmin opens the sketchbook "Someone left this in my locker an- ah!"
She squeaks, being pulled into Hyunjin's arms. Hyunjin kisses her, hard and bruising. Seungmin is giggling against her lips.
"Well. That sketchbook is full of my gorgeous muse. But that art isn't just there," Hyunjin croons, pressing another quick kiss against her lips before she turns Seungmin around.
The gasp she gets goes straight to her heart, "You did not!"
"I did." Hyunjin grins, kissing her cheek.
The art display has its own section just of Hyunjin's sketches of her girlfriend. From the ones of them in the library when they first began to hang out, the ones she would draw even when away from the girl, to her personal favourite, Seungmin staring up at the stars while sitting on the swings after Chan's party. And then there's one from their dates, or of Seungmin sleeping in Hyunjin's bed. The list continues on and on.
The display is labelled Falling in Love, As Easy as Breathing.
Seungmin lets out a soft sob and slaps Hyunjin on the arm "You asshole. Making me cry." Then she kisses her, so she knows that she isn't upset in any way whatsoever.
"You love me."
"I love you." Seungmin nods, as if it's obvious. And Hyunjin knows it is.
She sees her friends approaching. Jeongin and Jisung holding hands, Felix on Minho's back, and Chan with Changbin's arm around her. Hyunjin stands there, checking her messages to see the text from her parents saying they just got inside.
Hyunjin kisses her girlfriend again, right in front of the art display. Seungmin smiles against her lips.
"I love being your muse."
And yeah, Hyunjin couldn't be happier.