The Adventures of Sanji and the Strawhat Pirates

by ppens

Summary:

“We’ll give him lots of warm things and meat.”

Luffy’s voice cut in. Firm, and no doubt controlling his emotions strictly.

“I don’t like his home before Zeff. But Sanji didn’t want to let them die, so we didn’t. Sanji was going to do it either way—so to get Sanji home faster, we helped. We help Nakama, even when they don’t ask for help.”

With a more lighter tone, and a grin, he turned back towards them with a hand on his hat,

“We’ll just have to be more stubborn than Sanji is, even when Sanji comes back from being little Sanji, so Sanji can remember Sanji’s ours!”

||

Or;

Sanji tried out a new recipe, thinking nothing more of it. Even if he got said recipe from Germa, and even if his weird, shitty genetics keep acting up, he figures,

What harm could there be, that he hasn’t already either experienced or deserved?

Chapter 1: Germa Factory Reset! Or.. whatever that means

He got some information — somehow, between Whole Cake and Wano, whether it was with the aftermath of his fight with Queen or Niji’s cruel gift, maybe even Reiju, somewhere in all that span of time and events. The mess of it all. 

A couple sheets of paper hidden, slipped into his pockets and pulled out with his hands. They looked to be from a small notebook — not unlike what he used to write his own cooking notes.

He forewent reading it. For awhile. But to be fair, it’s been a while since he’s had any downtime. Time to himself was extraordinarily rare—Time to himself, for himself? Even rarer.

Nonetheless, here he was, late at night in the familiar galley—his galley. Brook was on tonight’s watch shift. The soft lull of the musician’s violin  provided it’s usual soothing effect. Sanji leaned against the counter, thumbing the corner of the papers. He tried to read the words, but he couldn’t help to just stare blankly at them.

Screwing his eyes shut, he let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Inhale, deeply. Then exhale, slow. The melody of Brook’s violin constant, comforting. 

Alright. 

The notes contained the following information; 

 

“Inspired by the Modo Modo no Mi: Paramecia-type Devil Fruit, Germa-tech Scientists worked in a regulatory feature on the subject as to not strain it’s physical form irreversibly. 

It is a Last Resort to recovering data and maintaining the condition and progress of the subject thus far when running more extensive, variable experiments.”

 

He flipped the page.

It contained more information—at most 12-15 years back in time for the body, allowing the mind and the subject’s overall condition to recover. 

Activation takes up to a nighttime of slumber. The day before, one must drink a concoction that effects the brain in a specific way—the recipe on the next page,—and prepare for bed. The duration of the process varies. 

Sanji hummed noncommittally, turning to the second paper. He looked over the ingredients.. the recipe.. and shrugged. He may as well.

He’s been exhausted. For far too long now—and he’s fraying too much around the edges. He doesn’t know how much more he’d be able to just about keep everything together. He doesn’t want to risk ruining everything else for everyone else anymore or any longer—He can’t afford to cause any more stress for the crew. If he’s able to do anything that can possibly curb or even figure out what is going on with his- fucked- genetics—he.. should learn to take that chance.

Plus, it was a recipe. Worse comes to worse, he at least got a new drink he can prepare, and he gets to cook! 

There was one more sheet he didn’t read before he got started, and he didn’t check the back of the paper that contained that very recipe.

He didn’t read it, as he moved around the kitchen and gathered the necessary ingredients. He hummed along to Brook’s tune, enjoying the smells wafting into the air.

It contained a warning he failed to note—but likely, should have expected.

 

“…Unfortunately, during the process, the subjects only seem capable of remembering what they knew or experienced at the age.”

Chapter 2: Sanji’s—uh—First.. Day. yup—on the Thousand Sunny!

Notes:

Alternatively titled, “Sanji and a Good Morning 1/2”

It’s cold. And dark. Not anything he wasn’t used to, or shouldn’t be used to. Yet, even at the risk of his sanity, he cannot help but try to hope and dream of waking up back out there.

In his mother’s arms.. at the highest, or curled on the floor of the race track as his brothers beat him—hell, he’d’ve been happy were he to awaken back in the operating room, even. 

Because then.. at least, his father wanted him enough to try again. To try and fix him again.

..It’s still rather cold. And dark.. when he actually opens his eyes—but there’s something different.

He’s not on the floor. It doesn’t smell like rot, it doesn’t smell like old, caked in vomit and dung—piss, and blood, even. It smells—like.. dirty laundry..?

Sweat, too. He doesn’t remember what sweat smells like from other people.. but he—Swears it, there’s old sweaty clothes—and not his own.

And he’s swaying, gently.. like—ah. 

He’s on a hammock, and he’s in—a cabin?… A boat! He scrambles to sit up, unused to the type of bed—? he woke—looking around with big, wide eyes.

He can hear the ocean.. more clear, as it—rocks the ship, gently pushing against it, moving it steadily, all the same. 

He finds he isn’t alone—there are all sorts of.. men..? Sleeping, sprawled about the bunk space. A lot more hammocks.. and a ladder and latch, supposedly leading out onto the deck. 

And he also finds—It’s.. so easy to move his head..

before he stopped himself, he fixated on that feeling. He steadily reached his hands up to his face, grasping at his hair—pressing against his cheek, his lips—the top of his head—he grabbed fistfuls of straw-like golden strands, and tugged, curling in on himself, and struggling to steady his breathing—gasping, hiccuping—

He thought he finally learned to quiet those sobs enough, but the tears fell from his eyes in big, sloppy blobs—shivers wracked his frame, and he tugged, and tugged—

It isn’t there. It’s not there.

It’s not there. 

And he isn’t there.

Where is he? Why is he here? He’ll get in trouble. These people will get in trouble.

Unless—He’s been kidnapped—? No, they wouldn’t get past Germa, why would people even want to kidnap him—? Was—was he sold? Father’d probably used some flowery words to convince someone he’s worth whatever sum of money he wanted—but—-

Someone next to him shifted, there was a groan—and he jolted, and tumbled, falling out of the hammock with a few spins—-he barely bit back a scream, quickly curling in on himself to protect his head. 

He landed on the floor, and quickly scrambled away until his back hit the wall, hidden—in the shadows, familiarly, as he froze, stock still. Starinn, wide eyed, hands gripping at his hair, arms tightly around his head. 

He heaved, choking—Tears still dripped down his cheeks, his eyes flickering around in the dark.

In the other hammocks—or.. along the floor, sprawled about—the other figures still lay, sleeping. 

There was.. a big, blue.. man? What looked like a.. robot? A skeleton—A lanky boy with a strawhat.. another, darker skinned boy with a rather long nose… pinnochio? And—a mop of green hair, shifting—The groan came from him. 

The groaning man had shifted, and Sanji’s breath caught in his throat. 

Suddenly, an eye was opened. The other, scarred shut. But, nonetheless—It made direct eye contact with him.

And Sanji stared, heart pounding far too loud in his head, the sound rattling around a pathetic skull.

Next, he saw the straw-hatted boy turn in his sleep, murmuring. “…z’ro..?” 

“..Uh.” The tanned man blinked. Eye, silver and bleary. “Sanji?”

That got the strawhat-man to jump up— “Wha’bout Sanji?!” 

And the blond pressed himself further against the wall, hoping—by some mythical chance—he’d disappear into it. 

He tried to keep his whimpers quiet, biting back the pleads and apologies threatening to spill from his mouth—-and, next thing he knows, 

A skeleton kneels before him, the one-eyed tan man does as well, and the straw hat wearer too. 

They stared at him, wordlessly. 

“Sanji?” 

The skeleton spoke softly, the other two just—awkwardly.. blinking? 

“Are you alright?” 

“i—“ Sanji sniffed, curling his legs tighter against his chest. 

“I’m sorry—I’m sorry, I—Where—?-I’not.. Not s’posed to be here—M’Sorry—“ He stammered, hiccuping, “I’m—Where am i—?” 

“Breath, easy now.. we’ll tell you, but first.. breath with Zoro, here, okay?” The skeleton elbowed the green-haired man besides him—The man flinched, looking rather panicked, himself.

“Uh—“

Sanji’s eyes hesitantly landed on the man, and Zoro quickly shook his head, and closed his eye again, hands in his lap. He breathed, deeply, and Sanji did his best to follow it.

Slowly, he managed to mimick the man’s breathing, and the Skeleton spoke again, “Good work, Sanji.” 

He blinked at that, furrowing his brows. “R-really?” 

Zoro’s eye reoppened, and the man nodded. “Really.”

The straw hat boy had been staring at him silently. Eventually, he broke into a grin. “Hi Sanji! I’m Luffy!”

The blonde flinched, but didn’t take his eyes off Luffy.

“This is Brook—our musician!” 

“Yohoho!” The skeleton gave a bow. If he had skin, Sanji wouldn’t be surprised if his face was smiling gently. He had a calm aura surrounding him.. comforting, almost. If he could dare believe.

”Zoro’s our swordsman and my first mate! You can meet the rest of the crew later..! Around now’s when our cook’d usually make meat—“

Zoro reached across the skeleton—Brook—and bonked Luffy in the head. Sanji flinched. 

“Y’ooowwww..” Luffy groaned, rubbing his head. 

“Shitty Captain.” Zoro grumbled.

”Young Sanji.” 

He darted his attention towards Mister Brook. 

“You’re on the Thousand Sunny..” The skeleton waved his hands infront of him dramatically, “Luffy, here, is the captain.”

”I’m gonna be king of the pirates!” The surprisingly rubbery man bounced back quick, grinning brightly. 

“P-pirates?!” 

“Not the bad kinds.” Zoro cut in. 

Luffy giggled, grinning still. 

Brook nodded. 

“Did.. h-how did I..”

”You’re our cook!” 

“Luffy.” Zoro scolded.

Luffy just kept smiling—so bright, impossibly wide. 

“Cook..? I—I can’t..”  Sanji tugged at his hair again—

“Oi—No more of that.” Zoro’s hand shot out to grab his tiny wrist, and Sanji violently jumped, freezing.

”M’sorry, m’sorry, please—“ 

That caused the swordsman to freeze. “N-no.. it’s fine.” 

“Just.. don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Zoro’s grip slowly loosened, awkwardly giving the small boy’s head a pat. “Okay..? Take it easy.”

Sanji stared, tears dripping from his eyes—bewilderd. “O-okay, m’sorry..”

He loosened his grip on his hair, but kept his hands up there.

Throughout that exchange, Brook must have stepped out. Sanji looked around, and saw the others in the room having been stirred awake—He choked back another round of tears, “I’ didn.. I didn’t mean t-to wake ev’ryone.. m’sorry..” 

“wh—nonono, s’all good!!!” The long nosed man waved his hands wildly, he had just been stretching his back, “I was lookin’ to fix somethin’ up anyways. No worries!! Really!”

Sanji sniffled, curling tighter. 

Luffy silently gave Zoro a look, and Zoro turned to the long nosed man, nodding. 

“That’s Usopp! He’s the sniper.”

Luffy whirled back to Sanji, a grin back on his face—he smiled so easily..—introducing the man as he climbed up the ladder, out onto what was the deck. 

“Why don’t we get you cleaned up, yeah? I hear baths are s’posed to be nice!” 

A.. bath. Something tells Sanji that the two before him don’t usually do that. Shower—he means. 

But he hesitantly nods. He doesn’t quite remember the last time he’s been able to clean himself.. and he is not keen on disappointing the supposed Captain and King of the Pirates—The Swordsman, as well—or the nice talking skeleton Musician from earlier—-or anyone, really, if he was really out on a pirate ship in the middle of the sea. He doesn’t.. wanna get thrown overboard and left behind.. 

Although, he probably should begin to mentally prepare for such happening. He knows how he is—hopefully.. the crew would learn sooner than later, as to not have their efforts wasted any more than they could have been

And yet, a small part, within the tightness of his chest—his ribcage, clenching around his heart—hopes that they don’t find out. That.. they let him stay, just for a little while, to see what’s out there.. any of the worlds his mother used to tell him about.. He hopes one day, he could see at least one. 

 

---

 

Luffy kept his eyes trained on the little Sanji. The kid had fallen asleep as soon as he settled into the warm water. 

It was almost as though he hadn’t felt warm in so long—the little one even murmured such, and Zoro had to dig his nails into his palms and grit his teeth to not shout in anger. 

“How’s the water?” Luffy had asked playfully, the little Sanji nodding off, but trying so hard to stay awake. 

“forgo’how it felt.. thank you..” 

polite little shit, even when slurring his words.

”Forgot what?” 

Luffy tilted his head, confused.

“Warm..s’warm. An’.. and clean..” 

Luffy kept his hands stretched out to hold the boy steady as he eventually settled into a doze, but Zoro saw the way his captian’s eyes darkened. 

They were already struggling to retain their rage when they saw the amount of wounds littering his small form—They could see scars. Everywhere—Some looked surgical, but Zoro would have to leave the identifying to either Chopper or Robin. The boy looked to have not eaten in days, which.. They were told, yeah—Sanji and the old guy back at the restaurant nearly starved to death, that’s how they met, so.. they expect that—however..

The kid looked far too young for the impression they received of the timeline of events.  Far too young for the amount of scars and wounds upon his person. 

He and Luffy shared a look. 

“You don’t think.. Zeff..?”

”No. Vinsmoke.” Luffy was glaring, not at the kid—never at Sanji, never in the way he was.

Ah. Right.

Whole Cake.

They did have a run in with the cook’s biological family.

They didn’t know much, but what information they had did not paint a pretty picture.

Shit.

Zoro grit his teeth. Damned brat. Shitty cook. Causin’ more trouble than it’s worth, tryna carry all that shit himself—stupid dartbrow. 

 

---

 

Sanji learned a lot today. 

He’s far from Germa. Germa shouldn’t bother him anymore. And he’s free. 

He tried to explain he shouldn’t be there, and they could get in a lot of trouble—but Captain Luffy had laughed, and said that the Kingdom of Germa tried, and failed, before.

Freedom is weird. 

But the crew.. is so.. welcoming? Kind..

“My sweet sunshine..” 

he remembers his mom’s voice.

”Never change.. my sweet, sweet boy. Never change—No matter how much the world mistreats you.. never stop hoping.. loving.. dreaming..

The world is so vast.. the seas, free. You’ll find your place, I know it. Just hold on, my darling boy.. You deserve love. You deserve to dream.. to be free.”

It’s been so long since he was able to remember his mother, in the sense where he wasn’t longing so desperately for the worlds and fantasies she spoke of—Where he wasn’t longing so desperately for her—Stuck, down there.. dark, damp, dirty— trapped. 

The ocean is so blue.

He started crying when he was able to sit down and look out toward it. 

Miss Nami, the navigator with a sweet citrus smell and pretty orange hair and brown eyes, had been walking by him. She placed a hand gently at his back, “What is it, Sanji..?” 

“Thought I lost it.”

“Lost what?”

He was able to manage a wobbly grin, never taking his eyes off he sea.

“Love.” He whispered. 

If Nami bursted into tears at that, Sanji hadn’t seen, smiling and kicking his feet giddily over the ship’s ledge, tiny hands holding firmly onto the railing. 

Sanji had decided to believe the Straw Hat Pirates, take their word for truth.

He had nothing else to prove otherwise—and even.. if it was all a dream, he’ll take his mother’s words to heart. He’ll appreciate what little he can, and hold each little moment of reprieve.. warmth, and joy closely. As close as he could. 

He didn’t know how long it would last. How long, the next time would be, that he would have to go without it. 

Miss Robin, the archeologist, said she would show him the aquarium and library later—they have an aquarium! On the ship! The shipwright, Mister Franky, the Robot-man, was suuupperrr proud of it, like it was his own baby— Mister Franky treated his own babies better than Father.. 

Sanji was scared, at first, of Mister Robot, he had blue hair that reminded him of Niji, and the sunglasses reminded him of all his brothers—All the tech and human experimenting on himself hadn’t helped—but Mister Franky was absolutely the farthest from his siblings as anyone could ever be. 

He expressed emotions so closely to what he felt like his mother wanted them all to. Miss robin had eyes like his mother, and moved like his sister—Miss Nami had a smile like his mother’s.. and Mister Brook’s hands reminded him of his mother’s.

When Sanji let that slip out, gently grasping ahold of Mister Brook’s hand as he led him carefully down the stairs, Mister Usopp seemed so sick. And Mister Brook hadn’t known how to react to that. 

He shuffled hesitantly across the ship, being sure to ask whoever walked with him for permission or help getting anywhere—most of the crew, no doubt, happily letting the little boy explore. 

The sun was so nice. Warm, he felt nearly far too overwhelmed—but excited. Excitement was something he almost forgot about—something that he could only dream of, if he dared to. 

A.. lot, now, felt like things he used to only be able to dream of, if he dared to—Now.. having chosen to dare to believe it all true, he didn’t know what to do.

Captain Luffy said to actually live in it. 

He’ll try. Whatever that means—- Mister Jinbe — a shark man—! and Usopp—Captian or Mister, Sanji isn’t sure what he prefers—But—! They both said, while at the galley, eating a simple but delicious breakfast, that they’d be happy to tell stories of the ocean! Their adventures, too!

And there’s Chopper—a.. talking reindeer, who’s around Sanji’s height, and is adorable, but—also a.. a, um, doctor. And.. Sanji’s not sure why, but he’s—his body wont stop tensing and shivering at the idea of being checked up on by him. Doctor’s have their jobs for a reason. and Chopper isn’t scary.. So.. why can’t Sanji just.. follow him? He used to be good at that—

“Don’t worry, little cook.” Mister Jinbe nodded, “Doctor Chopper is the best. He won’t do anything to you that he doesn’t explain first.” 

Chopper, the little reindeer, had wobbly eyes and had been sniffling at Sanji’s reaction—he’s been making so many of them cry..—Huffed, muttering, “doesn’t make me happy, bastard..“ At Mister Jinbe’s compliment. 

“I-I thought Mister Jinbe was a fishman..?” 

“wh—Well, yes. He is.” Mister Usopp raised a brow. 

“Then.. what’s a bastard?”

Glass seemed to shatter. Sanji didn’t understand why, but everyone had froze. Even the little doctor, who said it—calling Mister Jinbe it, a Bastard.

“There’s—There’s no way.”

”What?!”

He heard some giggles and other stunned exasperations—and couldn’t help the flush rising to his face.

”i—i know what it is!” He huffed, stomping his foot weakly against the floor—Mister Franky had recently given him a lecture on respecting the Thousand Sunny, and not hurting her, so Sanji would do his very best not to—and he quickly looked down at the floor, trying to hide his embarrassment.

”It’s alright, Little Cook.” Miss Robin smiled softly, “Questions are good, always ask them if you’re unsure.”

She closed her eyes, hand against her cheek as she laughed quietly, ”We simply hadn’t expected to hear you say that.” 

 

---

 

The morning was long. 

It dragged into afternoon as he was dragged around and shown different things and told of all kinds of things— and soon, he found himself struggling to keep up with the energy of Mister Captain Usopp and Captain Luffy, as well as Doctor Chopper and even Mister Franky sometimes. 

Getting used to simply seeing anything other than dirt and the darkness of metal cell walls was a lot, he’ll.. have to take some time to get used to everything else of this experience as well.

He couldn’t stop jumping and flinching at every loud noise or fast movement—But the crew was patient, even if something sad lingered in their eyes. He’ll work on it—he’ll get better—he said, stuttering out, and they just smiled, pat his head, and told him not to worry. 

A lot of things to get used to. A lot.

He tried to hold off falling asleep, after dinner time, and he was able to eat something. He even helped with the spices—! He wanted to believe.. that this wasn’t a dream, he really did—but a part of him.. felt stuck, still, there.

He can.. he can believe Captain Luffy. Captain Luffy’s been nothing but kind to him. And Miss Nami, too—and Mister Brook— Mister Zoro, surprisingly—and just— Everyone. 

It could.. still be a trick, too. He—

He didn’t want this to be over.

He rushed to get to know everything so he could get better at being prepared to do anything they asked or needed of him—He rushed to know them, so he could hold onto the dream of being surrounded by such open kindness,  he rushed.. so he could gather all he could and hold it close before it was inevitably taken away.

And yet, here Sanji was, struggling to stay awake. He felt the reality slipping from his fingertips, and he was scared, despite all his own reassuring and attempts to expect and grow accustomed to it—he still failed.

Failure.

He’ll always fail, and he has to keep at it—he has to make up for it, somehow—

“Sanji..?” Little Doctor Chopper tugged at his sleeve—a shirt, lent to him by the very reindeer himself—“Do you.. think we can get that check-up done, now?”

And Sanji tensed, only slightly this time, and gave a quick nod, regaining awareness of his body, and zoning out as he waited for any orders, anything to do that the Doctor needed him to— 

“W-would you rather I do it here..?” Doctor Chopper asked.

Sanji blinked. Furrowing his brows, “Does.. it matter..?”

”Of course it does!” Chopper huffed, “It’s a doctor’s duty is to make their patients comfortable!” 

“A-ah..” Comfortable..? “I’m sorry.”

”You.. you don’t have to be—just tell me, would you rather privacy? W-we can do and go wherever you need, or be with anyone y-you’d like to be with, at any time, just tell me, okay?”

Sanji.. gave a hesitant nod. “H-here’s fine.” 

Chopper nodded, “Okay.”

 

“How old are you?”

The check-up started with questions, Chopper having quickly scampered to and from the infirmary to get necessary supplies. And, A notebook, to keep track of everything in. 

“Eight.”

He sat stiffly.

Miss Robin let out a small hum, as the others still in the room seemed to tense. 

Sanji requested for everyone to do what they preferred—but when asked by Miss Nami, and intimidated to be honest—Sanji didn’t want to be alone. So the crew was reluctant to leave him. Mister Jinbe and Mister Brook went out to keep watch, but so far the rest of them lingered. 

He didn’t understand it, but.. he’ll accept it—He just hopes he doesn’t say anything he’s not supposed to.

“What do you last remember?”

..Um.

”Th-there were..—“ he cleared his throat, trying to maintain a steady, neutral voice. “bugs, in my helmet, crawling.”

Miss Nami insisted he be honest—and.. Doctors, in Sanji’s experience, have always had a knack of being able to find out whether or not he was being truthful. They found everything out, eventually.

“H-helmet?”

”Father didn’t want people who came down there to recognize me.”

“Have you..—“ Chopper choked back a sob. “How long have you been without sun?” 

Sanji hesitated. He was already failing at not bothering them— “I don’t know. I w-was seven, when I was put down there.”

He heard Chopper scribbling away, as he focused his eyes on the hands in his lap. 

“Th-there was a small window, up high—w-where sun could get through, though..! s-so..” 

He shrugged— and—that only seemed to cause the crew more anguish—he couldn’t— He didn’t understand why it did. He couldn’t figure out what to say without disobeying them, he couldn’t figure out what to do to make it up to them—What to say to make it right—the doctors at Germa were easier, he usually didn’t need to say anything—

A sniffle, and Chopper asked, “Food..?”

”Um.. once a day, usually—I.. don’t know. Guards have to unlock the mouth piece, first, and s-sometimes they forget.” 

“Could you describe the helmet..?” 

“Heavy and metal, covered e-everything but the eyes.. separate thing for the mouth, so that I-I could eat without removing the full thing.” 

Sanji subconsciously moved his hands to motion where what he was talking about was—and soon he stiffly brought a hand to rub at his neck. He felt marks there. No doubt, from the same contraption. “T-tight, too.” 

He heard something behind him crack loudly, and he flinched, but kept his eyes forward and down. 

“Have.. have you any past or recent injuries or surgeries?”

Sanji nodded. “A lot.”

He was the failure, after all. 

“Where they treated?”

”My s-sister tried to treat them..”

”Describe them for me, please, so I-I know what to do.”

Sanji did his best to do so, explaining the kicks to his abdomen, the possible broken nose, and the bruising on his back and sides. He shifted awkwardly in his seat to try and tell if he was giving accurate information—eventually Chopper got to treating him, describing what he was doing at each step.. warning him of what might sting, and letting him know what to do and to get Chopper if anything comes up. 

”D-do you have any questions?” The little reindeer asked, wobbly eyed and putting away his supplies. 

Sanji hesitated—it hasn’t.. been like past experiences he’s had with doctor’s, so far. He actually was bandaged up, and rather snuggly, as well. The texture was odd.. but they were secure.

“Don’t.. you have to open me up?” 

“Open you up?”

”Y-yeah, like—“ Sanji gestured awkwardly toward himself. “S-see what went wrong..? H-how to try—um.. fixing it?” 

Chopper stiffened, and Sanji winced, preparing for—

“No—!! O-only if you get hurt in there! Internalized bleeding, maybe—? Broken ribcage, Organ failure—Whatever calls for it—!!!” Chopper cried, jumping away, then scrambling back, “A Doctor should Never Just—O-open their patients up like that!! E-especially if they don’t consent!”

Sanji had flinched and leaned back into the chair, unblinkingly. 

When Chopper stopped fuming, he sniffled, wiping at his eye with a hoof. “A-are you.. hurt in there..?”

The blond shook his head, “S—“

”Don’t apologize!” Chopper huffed.

Sanji just quickly nodded.

The little doctor shuffled slightly, apologizing with a bow for yelling at him—and Sanji.. didn’t know what to do with that.

 

Somehow, he was left with a — lollipop—? in his hand, as Chopper hurried out the room to return his supplies back to the infirmary. 

Sanji tried to offer help, but he was told to stay put and.. enjoy the.. lollipop..? 

Miss Robin and lingered with him in the galley, the others having stepped out at one point or another.

He discovered the lollipop was lemon flavored—not overly sour, just enough to be interesting, and balancing out the sweetness of the candy. 

“It’s been a long day, no?”

Sanji hadn’t meant to flinch when he heard Miss Robin speak. She has a nice voice.

He gave a nod. “Thank you.”

”May I ask, for what?”

”F-for today..?” 

“….” Something shifted gain in her eyes, and Sanji felt like shrinking in on himself.

A hand appeared at his head and started to run fingers through his hair—gently. And he furrowed his brows, looking around, he didn’t see an arm—

Miss Robin smiled, softly.

“I ate a devil fruit. This,” She ruffled his head just a bit, “Is one of the many things I can do.” 

He stared, the hand at his head patting him gently. 

“Th.. Thank you.” He looked down at his feet, legs dangling over the edge of the chair.

He felt himself closing his eyes, just taking in the feeling of someone carding through his hair. Touching, gently, with care—He.. doesn’t remember the last time someone did that. 

It felt nice. And if a few more tears slipped out from his eyes, no one had been bothered by it.

Another hand popped up from his shoulder, and wiped at his face gently.

”You did good today, little one.”

Miss Robin’s voice sounded fuzzy, her words and ministrations made him want to burst out sobbing—he didn’t know why, though..

”We are proud of you.”

Chapter 3: New Dawns — And Other things, Some.. better than others

Notes:

Alternatively titled “Sanji and a Good Morning 2/2”

It wasn’t long after the little Sanji fell asleep, that Robin gently helped him to bed, and returned to the rest of the crew.

Chopper was wrapped in Zoro’s arm, sobbing and sniffling into his shoulder. The swordsman, himself, had a set look on his face—gritting his teeth, no doubt frustrated at his current inability to solve anything with his blades. 

Brook had been sipping at some tea, his violin close by. Nami, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Luffy, staring out at the sea as Jinbe kept a calm demeanor. Once he learned Sanji was asleep in the bunk room, Usopp refused to let him be alone down there— “It—it gets dark.” He stammered, quickly heading down where Robin had came from. 

One look shared with Robin, and Franky nodded, following after their sniper quickly.

“..The notes, did they say anything about how long it would last?” Brook asked.

”It only expressed that it varied. I suspect Cook-san hadn’t read through all of them, as well. I doubt he would have gone through with it had he known there to be actual.. merit to what was written.”

Zoro.. breathed out rather harshly, “..None of you explained what had happened there.” On Whole Cake Island.

Nami tensed, and Luffy just kept his eyes trained on the sea. His eyes, were they not overshadowed—would’ve noticeably hardened. 

Brook sighed, before Chopper could panic and strain himself further, he explained, “It is not a story for us to tell.” 

“Bullshit.” Zoro grit, then froze, forcing himself to calm down — he still held onto Chopper. “It’s effecting him, enough to pull.. whatever this is, and it’s the crew’s damned business.” 

“Cook-san is quite a private man.” Robin added, calmly. 

“It.. hadn’t seemed like he wanted to think about it anymore—I thought..” Nami huffed, shaking her head. “His family was horrible but.. I didn’t realize how much.” 

“He—he still wanted to save them.” Chopper sniffled. 

Nami’s fist clenched. Zoro cursed. 

“I don’t believe he ever intended to tell us the extent of his experiences with them.” Brook nodded. “We need to tread carefully.”

“We’ll give him lots of warm things and meat.” 

Luffy’s voice cut in. Firm, and no doubt controlling his emotions strictly. 

“I don’t like his home before Zeff. But Sanji didn’t want to let them die, so we didn’t. Sanji was going to do it either way—so to get Sanji home faster, we helped. We help Nakama, even when they don’t ask for help.” 

With a more lighter tone, and a grin, he turned back towards them with a hand on his hat,

“We’ll just have to be more stubborn than Sanji is, even when Sanji comes back from being little Sanji, so Sanji can remember Sanji’s ours!” 

 

---

 

Morning came by again.. and— Sanji was still on the Sunny. 

He rubbed his eye, this time, going with Mister Captain Usopp to the bathroom for the day. Mister Captain Usopp had a lot of interesting stories.. some of which, for a lot of the details, Sanji was confident weren’t real stories, but— they were still interesting.

A warm bath and fresh set of clothes later, they headed to the galley to help cook. Sanji rubbed the sleep from his eyes, Miss Nami scolding Mister Captain Usopp with something—before Sanji jumped, a towel now at his head. 

He blinked a few times, and stayed still, as Miss Nami dried his hair. He let himself be moved around to the motions, wobbling a bit on his feet. 

The towel was removed from his head, and Sanji waddled after Mister Captain Usopp back into the galley. 

Miss Robin and Mister Brook were already there, calmly sipping away at hot drinks—Miss Robin’s devil fruit power, carefully working around the kitchen. 

Mister Brook reached a hand out and placed it on Sanji’s fluffy head, ruffling his hair. Instinctively, Sanji leaned into the touch, and closing his eyes, mumbling. 

“My heart feels like it just exploded!” Mister Brook had gasped, clutching at his chest— “Or, Well, if I had a heart!” And his, quickly identifiable, laugh rang out the room. 

Sanji hummed—then blinked, peering at the musician, “You really are a skeleton..!” 

“You hadn’t noticed?” Miss Nami raised a brow. 

“I—um, no.. Jus’ thought it was a-a dream, so didn’t question..” Sanji shuffled in his spot, looking away—he gave her a bow, “Thank—Thank you for drying my hair.” 

Miss Nami clutched a hand to her chest, not unlike Mister Brook earlier, “O-of course, sweetie..” 

“Later, we’ll brush it out, okay?” She quickly bounced back, kneeling down to his level, and ruffling his hair. “For now, why don’t we help Usopp and Robin with the food?”

”Really?” He brightened up at that. Miss Nami nodded, “Really.”

 

---

 

”..Should we call Zeff?” It was Usopp who asked that. Still in the Galley.

Sanji had nodded off shortly after getting more warm food in his stomach—Apparently, but unsurprisingly, sleep hadn’t come easy to him.—The crew moved carefully. Zoro—gingerly,—hefted the tiny cook into his arms, and followed Chopper out. 

Nami chewed her lip, “Maybe. We.. we don’t want to risk triggering anything—and even then, Zeff may have some advice on how to care for him.”

Luffy gave a firm nod, “Okay! It can’t hurt to ask the old guy, right?”

”Yes, captain.” Robin said, fondness playing in her tone.

The archeologist summoned a trail of hands from a farther counter to the galley table, handing a small Den Den Mushi to Usopp. 

Usopp nodded, quickly pushing it into Nami’s hands— Nami hummed—then blinked, growling, “Why do I have to be the one to call him?! It was your idea!!” 

“B-because he’s nicer to ladies!!!” Usopo exclaimed, stepping farther back from the Den Den, as though it reeked of corpses. 

Luffy let out a laugh, and stretched across them both to call the Baratie. Nami placed the Mushi on the table, and they all waited as it puru’d. 

Waiting..

Waiting..

”This is the shitty restaurant—”

”You’re not Zeff.” Luffy frowned.

Nami bonked him on the head quickly.

”Ah, sorry for that, sir. We’re the Strawhat Pirates—“ She said sweetly and quickly, “We were wondering if the Owner could come to the phone?”

”..This ‘bout Eggplant?”

”Yes, it is.”

”Damned brat.. he hasn’t called in days, boss’ pretty pissed, so.. good luck—“

“OI-!”

On the other line, there was loud bustling and shouting, shifting, and no doubts the chaos of a kitchen during lunch rush. 

Eventually the commotion appeared to die down, and the Den Den Mushi took on the familiar features of Zeff. 

“This better be important.”

”Sorry, Chef Zeff, we wouldn’t have called if we didn’t think it so.” Robin cut in, calmly.

A sigh was heard on the other line. “It’s fine. Rather hear somethin’ than nothin’ at all.”

”That is understandable.” Robin smiled, nodding. “We’re sorry Cook—Sanji,—hasn’t called. We will make sure to get him to next time he can.”

”What happened to that brat?”

”There’s some weird stuff with devil fruits and Germa.” Luffy huffed. “Sanji’s little now!” 

“..What.”

”He means, something happened with stuff from Sanji’s—um. Biological family—“

”I saw the shitty news.” Zeff cut Usopp off, a different kind of anger boiling under the surface. “Don’t call them his family. They’re not worth shit.”

”Right—yeah—Well, he’s a child, right now—so—“ Usopp nodded fervently, “The thing is—we—we don’t know what to do, or if—like—?”

”Did Sanji ever tell you about them..?” Robin asked. “His place of birth, the people with him.”

”..No. Eggplant kept to himself.”

”But I saw the scars. I tried—we tried, helping him out, where he’d let us, but he’s a stubborn brat, that one.”

Zeff let out another gruff sigh. “Always tryna do shit on ‘is own, like he always owed somethin’ to somebody. ..Like he couldn’t risk anythin’.”

“Am I right in assumin’ you’re callin for advice?” 

“That’s correct.”

”Alright. Pattie, Carne, get your shitty asses in ‘ere!” 

After the three restaurant workers settled in, they talked. Usopp and Robin kept everything they could jotted down. 

“How old is he?” 

“Eight.”

Zeff let out a curse. Pattie, they figured, seemed baffled, “Ey—boss, how old was he when you met?”

”Thought he was eight, but he was ten.”

”Yeesh..”

”Shut it.”

”Just keep in mind, dunno if this shit’ll work for him now—just.. be patient with him. Don’t be afraid to be a bit tough, sometimes shit doesn’t get through that thick skull otherwise.” 

“Of course. Thank you, Chef.” Robin nodded. “When we can, we will keep you updated.”

”…Thank you. ‘specially for taking care of ‘im. The little shit never learned how to let people do that.” 

“Of course—he’s nakama!” Luffy grinned, “Bye, shit geezer!” 

“Shaddup, chore boy.”

Their captain laughed, and the call ended. 

..They looked at their notes. Lackluster, but still, something. 

Physical touch, the kind with a pat to the head or the back, tended to help. Carne warned them that Sanji always tended to flinch or bite whenever someone tried getting near him—but it always helped him calm down, once he got used to it.

You just had to be patient, give him some time to register that he wasn’t in danger. 

Pattie said that Sanji always liked baking croissants when in need of a distraction. Desserts were where his skills lacked the most — so trying to conquer and learn how to make something new helped to take clear his head. 

He went on about a story, of how usually late at night, Sanji would crawl outta bed, craving something sweet. He and Pattie would secretly bake little treats to share—and make some hot cocoa, too—and Zeff smacked him on the back of the head, grumbling, “That’s what kept happening to those fucking ingredients..”

They learned, too, that Sanji’s favorite food was Seafood Pasta. Spicy, usually, however they might want to be careful before attempting to cook that—especially with Sanji’s stomach in mind, not used to many or more complicated dishes. They received a list of dietary recommendations to help him with his malnutrition, while still providing an interesting enough flavor profile to distract “the stupid eggplant” from any guilt clawing up his throat.

They received notes of his fear of the dark, bugs, and doctors. Zeff warned them, that while yes, a hug here or there may help Sanji—Feeling trapped would only make him feel worse.

They were to be careful of locking doors and slamming them.

Zeff had left them, as well, with a warning that, “If I ever hear of any of you bastards—sorry, ladies, this includes you.—using any of this against him, I will go to the grand line myself and hunt you down.”

Sanji had “too big a heart, even for the rats,” meaning they should be careful.

Also, to let him interact with the little animals—Don’t threaten them, don’t hurt them—even bugs, don’t kill them in front of Sanji.—He used to feed the little creatures wherever he could, giving them food and taking care of them. But he’d get scared, for the animal, thinking that just because he held it—the animal was in danger. Anything he loved was at risk just because he showed he loved it.

Sanji also struggled with trust. He didn’t believe most things, and even when he did, he’d try to pretend like he didn’t—almost like whatever trust was given to him would be taken away just like that—a trick. 

Be careful with jokes. Be clear, honest. 

The crew in the Galley during the call dispersed afterwards, some taking Sanji out of Zoro’s hands, so that Nami and Luffy could talk with the swordsman while Robin explained more things to note for Chopper when taking care of their little cook. 

 

---

 

Sanji was sat comfortably in one of Mister Jinbe’s arms, asking quietly about the ship and the ocean while the helmsman steered the boat steadily toward the direction of an island Nami indicated. 

The fishman calmly talked to the little chef, happily telling him anything and everything he could.

”Mermaids are real?!” Sanji stared with bright eyes, “Do—do they swim faster than fish—? Can—can they breath air—D-do their clothes feel weird in and out of water—? How do their digestive systems work—? I-is their diet s-specific—-?” 

His anxiety seeming to catch up to his excitement, caused him to abruptly stop, bringing his hands quickly up to cover his mouth—removing them from where they had grasped tightly at Jinbe’s shirt. 

“S-sorry.” He quietly murmured, leaning softly into Jinbe’s side to emphasize his apology. 

“No apology needed.” Jinbe let out a more subdued version of his usual hearty laugh, “As our archeologist explained before, questions are good. Always ask if you wish to..

Now, I don’t personally know much about mermaids.. but if we meet one, maybe they’ll be happy to tell you.” 

Sanji nodded rapidly, “O-okay!” 

“Thank you, Mister J-jimbe.” He whispered quietly, shortly after settling back down. 

“..Of course.” Mister Jinbe gave a nod, smile softening.

 

---

 

“Hey, Sanji—!” Captain Luffy shouted, grinning as the island came to view, “Have you ever been on an adventure before?”

The blond shook his head, peaking over the railing to stare wide-eyed toward the land. “Ne’er been on one of those..” 

“An island?” Mister Captain Usopp asked beside him. 

Sanji nodded. “H-how do they.. float?”

He asked Mister Jinbe, Miss Nami, Miss Robin, and Doctor Chopper questions—Mister Captain Usopp was someone he hadn’t asked a lot of questions to before. He didn’t know how he’d react or go about it— 

“Well—!” Mister Captain Usopp’s answer’s were long winded and adventurous. Sanji had a difficult time following—his attention span drifting from thing to thing, detail to detail, lost and all woozy. 

Sanji blinked blearily. “Uhm.. the—there won’t be a test on this, will there..?” 

“What—? No?!” Mister Captain Usopp raised his brows, “Why would there be—?”

”Um.. dunno.” He shrugged, “D-didnt retain it.” 

“Me neither. I hated tests.” Captain Luffy huffed, folding his arms. “Dadan used to try and teach us stuff, never held my attention long enough.” 

“That’s.. normal?”

”Yeah?” Luffy tilted his head to the side, “Is it not?”

“….” Father never made it out to be that way. Sanji was a failure—and severely defected. He struggled more with his studies than his brothers—he could never get anything right. 

“You—..don’t worry about retaining it, alright, bud?” Mister Captain Usopp gave a wobbly smile, “There’s no pressure to know anything. Just don’t forget to ask if you’re curious. We’ll happily tell you what we can, again and again.”

Sanji gave a hesitant nod. “Sorry..”

”What for?” Captain luffy was now—Picking at his .. ear…—ewwww…

”Uhm. Question.. The questions, and having y-you repeat yourselves.” 

Mister Captain Usopp responded by ruffling his hair.

“That’s no reason to be sorry. We offered, and we’re always happy to..” If Usopp was holding back tears, Sanji hadn’t been able to see.

These people liked to pat his head a lot..

Sanji won’t complain, he’ll take the kind touch wherever and whenever he could—he let his eyes fall shut again as he focused on the comforting feeling, once again, trying to memorize it and document it for later—holding it close, trying to let it last for as long as it could.

And quickly, Captain Luffy excitedly shouted, flinging himself off board—as the ship docked at a new island, and Miss Nami scolded Captain Luffy loudly with exasperation. 

Chapter 4: Laughter, Flowers, and the Trust of Birds!

Summary:

Sanji explores his first island, befriends a bird, and helps Luffy kidnap some flowers with Robin!

Notes:

Alternatively titled “Sanji and the Proper Care of Little Flowers 1/2”

The island they found themselves on was a spring one, apparently. It was kind and warm.. not a lot of civilization— but a small little town with supplies for sale. 

Sanji had the choice of going with Miss Nami, Mister Franky, and Mister Captain Usopp to go shopping—or, with Miss Robin and Captain Luffy to go exploring.. 

That, or stay on the ship with Mister Zoro and Mister Jinbe.. Or go exploring with Mister Brook and Doctor Chopper…

Sanji’s head felt more spinny than before trying to decide—so Miss Robin just took ahold of his hand gently, and said that she’d explore with him. 

“There will be opportunities to do anything and everything else later, don’t worry, little one.” She smiled softly, and he grasped hand the slightest bit tighter, nodding.

”Th’nk you..” 

The crew parted ways— heading off the ship. Sanji’s legs felt so wobbly and weak as soon as his weight was fully on the ground, that Mister Brook had to steady him. 

“Sea legs..” Mister Captain Usopp hummed. “Makes sense, you said your home was a floating snail?”

Sanji nodded. “Big snails..” 

And Mister Captain Usopp went on about a tale of slaying even bigger, more monstrous snails, and Sanji couldn’t help but laugh at it—

It was a small thing, a slight giggle, but that caused everyone to stop and stare for a moment.

Mister Brook was the first to recover, quickly reassuring Sanji that they weren't upset at him by patting his back—and everyone breaking into bright smiles.

“I made him laugh!!” Mister Captain Usopp cheered, grinning as he threw a fist in the air, “I was the first to make him laugh!!”

Miss Nami grinned, taking something from Mister Zoro—The Swordsman grumbling under his breath—but biting back a similar smile all the same.

”nehh, Sanji! Laugh more!”

Captain Luffy pouted a bit, his neck stretching, hanging upside down now, right infront of Sanji. He poked at Sanji’s side gently— and the little boy jumped back, almost tumbling down were it not for Mister Brook’s hands steadying him.

”That- feels.. weird.” Sanji huffed, pushing gently at Captain Luffy’s fingers as the Captain had snapped himself forwards to sit infront of him, repeatedly poking at his sides— it tingled and he squirmed, trying to avoid the touch without insulting the Captain. 

Said Captain, however, was grinning, wiggling his fingers and — later he’ll learn, that it was called — was tickling him. 

He let out a squeak, couple of them—and bursted out laughing as the assault continued, trying to wriggle more insistently away from the Captain’s rubbery grasp, as Mister Brook betrayed him and started to tickle at his sides as well—

“EhahaHa—!”

He struggled, kicking out his once wobbly, now rather useless legs— batting away hands. Hands that didn’t seek to harm or torment—but to— make him.. laugh—? “I—that’s enough, pleaaaa—haha—please!” 

He quickly rolled out of the way, onto the floor, and scampered quickly behind miss Robin when he managed to slip out— catching his breath, left with some titters as his body shook. He wiggled himself, trying to will out the tingly sensations within it. “M-miss Robinn..” 

“Aww..” She cooed, kneeling down to scoop him up into her arms, hugging him close, “Are they being mean?” 

He whined, nodding. Captain Luffy only grinned brightly, his own laughs loud again, “Sanji should laugh more!” 

“He’s just too adorable..” Mister Brook chimed in after, clasping his hands together, “Oh, young Sanji, forgive me, won’t you? I merely wish to see you elated!” 

Mister Captain Usopp folded his arms with a huff of his own, “The great captain Usopp’s still the best master of laughs!”

”That doesn’t sound how you think it does.” Mister Zoro stated, flatly, but mirth evident in his raised brow. 

Sanji mulled over Mister Brook’s words. With what was definitely not a pout, he nodded, holding onto to Miss Robin’s arm.

The musician patted the top of his head, and he shut his eyes, leaning into it. “Okay.. just this once, though.”

 

---

 

They separated, going about their respective adventures for today. 

Sanji walked with Miss Robin, still on unsteady feet, but he was getting the hang of it! Captain Luffy sprung about, a little bored, no doubt.

The trees were so pretty, Sanji was in awe of them—he was in awe of everything. The way the ground moved below his feet, the way the grass smelled and wind flew, the way the plants danced and the colors were just so vibrant.

every once in awhile, Captain Luffy would pop right up in front of him, with various little findings, and glancing up at Miss Robin to explain what it was, which she did happily.

It was wonderful! They came across a little fluffy creature, on many occasions—Captain Luffy often scared them off, but that didn’t stop Miss Robin from telling Sanji what she knew of them, and her theories. 

Sanji jumped, spotting a small bird hidden in the bushes. Captain Luffy was farther ahead, and hasn’t moved back yet—Miss Robin, noticing his pause, knelt down, and asked softly, “What is it?”

Sanji hesitated. 

Miss Robin stayed calm, and followed his line of sight. “Hm..”

Gently, hands sprouted around the small creature, Sanji berated himself for flinching—grasping tightly at Miss Robin’s sleeve— “Please-“ Don’t hurt them, I’m sorry—

Images of Sanji’s turtle friend being crushed flashed through his mind — of countless mice companions being hurt and tortured — one, thrown out of a window — and he couldn’t help the panic rising up his throat, he jolted his hand away from Miss Robin’s sleeve, hyper aware of how tightly he had gripped it. Jerkily, he clasped his hands and kept them close to his person, trying to force his breathing to steady. 

“It’s okay, little one..” She spoke, soothingly. 

The little bird was safely brought over, “May you hold your hands out?”

Sanji blinked. The bird tilted it’s head—it’s wing was injured, and Sanji panicked more, “D-doctor Chopper..?” 

“We will go and find him as soon as we can.”  

Miss Robin smiled at him as he glanced up, wobbly eyed, shakily holding his hands out as she requested.

She gently placed the bird within his grasp. And he stared at them, as they nestled comfortably into the palm of his hands.

The things he touched.. they tend to get hurt—ruined—was this.. really okay? 

The bird chirped. Sanji’s eye was big, glancing back and forth between the little bird and Miss Robin. 

“It’s cute, isn’t it..?” Miss Robin hummed, “And between you and me..” she whispered quietly, almost playfully, as she pat the little bird gently on the head with an elegant finger, “I have quite a soft spot for cute things..”

Sanji stared in awe. He spoke softly to the bird, when Miss Robin retracted her hand, “I-it’s okay, when we’re done, we—we’ll take you to D-doctor Chopper. He’s nice, y-you’ll like him..” 

he held the bird close to his chest, protective, but not smothering. The bird let out a happy chirp, and Sanji looked back up at Miss Robin, hesitantly.

”Shall we?” She softly smiled. And he nodded firmly, scampering besides her as she walked forwards.

”Can D-doctor Chopper understand the bird..?”

”I believe so, yes. Chopper is able to understand many other animals.. he is amazing, isn’t he?”

”Mhm!!”

Sanji hopes to learn this bird’s name, maybe Doctor Chopper wouldn’t mind asking for him and telling him.

The bird chirped, nestling further against the boy. 

 

---

 

Luffy misses Sanji. But that’s okay! Luffy loves Sanji, and little Sanji is no exception to that love for his cook. 

Sure, he wishes Sanji had been able to talk to them more.. they could have helped Sanji—But.. what’s done is done! 

Plus, Luffy is glad he and the crew get to help little Sanji have a happier experience, now, than.. before. 

Luffy isn’t one to really be violent, or filled with bloodlust—that’s more Zoro’s thing—And, he isn’t one to really have any regrets, that was.. Sanji’s thing..

But—

Luffy kinda wishes he could’ve brutally beaten up Sanji’s dad, who doesn’t deserve that title—the old guy, Zeff, does.

But Sanji didn’t want them to die. So, They’ll respect Sanji’s wishes. The people who were supposed to be his family didn’t. So they will. 

Luffy likes seeing little Sanji smile. Little Sanji’s expressions the past day or so have consisted mostly of hesitance and fear. Like—he hoped, yearned, but couldn’t let himself truly be. So unused to kindness, to a lack of threats or tricks, that the crew not being cruel was crueler than anything he knew. 

That’s to say, if Luffy ever saw those colorful jerks who dared claim to be his Sanji’s brothers again, he might go a littleferal. Just a little. As a treat.

He knows the crew wont blame him—and, that with Zoro’s help, they’ll hold Luffy back from doing anything against Sanji’s wishes—Actually, that may be difficult, cuz Luffy’s pretty sure the entire Crew’d like to have a hand at causing Sanji’s not-family a lot of pain. 

But, back to little Sanji’s expressions.. His eyes were so vibrant with emotion. Like Sanji Sanji’s. Almost bursting with it, so much, that Sanji never knew what to do with any of it. 

The little bursts of joy, hope, interest, and calm were Luffy’s favorites. Even if little Sanji’s face refused to let anything else slip, little Sanji’s eye was easy to see. He was so curious and fascinated by everything.

Little Sanji liked flowers and leaves, and the little bird he and Robin picked up—now nestled gently upon Little Sanji’s head. Probably confused the color of his hair for sun. Maybe flowers. Or a nest—

Luffy knows Nami said something about avoiding bugs, as well. Before they parted ways—she was very clear.

The captain saw Robin’s detached limbs handling any of the little skittering guys before little Sanji saw them—and Luffy also handled them, scouting ahead to keep an extra eye out. Their adventure today was letting little Sanji happily explore the world as much as he could!! And Luffy will make it happen.

Little Sanji kept staring back at something in particular.. a flower. Blue, like Sanji’s eyes. It popped up here and there, no doubt part of the fauna in this island.

Eventually, little Sanji looked up at Robin, as though asking for permission to stop by a grouping of them— Robin nodded so easily, Luffy knew she was fighting back the urge to squeeze little Sanji so tight and spoil him rotten—like she does with Chopper, when no one’s looking or paying attention—and Luffy can’t blame her, little Sanji’s cute.

Luffy saddled right next to little Sanji, as little Sanji crouched down before a patch of bright, lightly colored flowers. Robin’s hands were quick in flicking away any insects that dared encroach on the peacefulness of little Sanji’s afternoon. 

“Neh, Robin, do y’think Usopp’d let us plant one of these in the garden?” Luffy smiled, and only grinned brighter when little Sanji’s blue eye widened so much, filled to the brim with surprise—and hope.

Luffy.. faintly wonders why anyone would dare to stomp down little Sanji’s dreams and wishes. He wants to spoil little Sanji like Robin does Chopper. It’s so easy, and simple, Luffy can’t fathom why anyone wouldn’t. Luffy can’t fathom how anyone hadn’t already.

“Of course. He may be able to help identify the proper care of them, as well. Little cook, would you like to give them a home with us?”

Robin’s so clever, Luffy laughed to himself. She worded it so Sanji wouldn’t feel guilty about taking the flowers away from where they came from! 

“um..” 

His big eye on his little face blinked as he turned back toward the flowers.

So Sanji’s always been good at balancing things on his head! The bird, still, comfortable.

“..W-we don’t have to.” Little Sanji murmured.

”Nonsense.” Robin knelt at little Sanji’s other side. “You have a wonderful eye for these things, they’re very beautiful. The ship would look lovely with them, wouldn’t they, Captain?”

Luffy nodded, grinning, “If Sanji wants flowers, we’ll bring back the flowers Sanji wants, okay, Sanji?” 

Heat colored little Sanji’s face. The concepts, even now, seemed so foreign to little Sanji—both the willingness of others to care for what he wants, and the praise that Robin handed out thoughtfully. But even as he hesitated, he eventually nodded, carefully. “Thank you.”

And Luffy felt elated. Usopp may have gotten little Sanji to laugh first, but he and Robin got little Sanji to be open with what he wanted first!

”Anything for you, little cook.” Robin smiled, parroting the things bigger Sanji used to say to any of them—verbally and flamboyantly to the ladies, and laden with insults and threats to the rest. 

 

---

 

He dug carefully into the dirt, remembering his mother’s words. 

“Be careful with the roots.. If you wish to care for it, make sure to respect the things that help it live.”

He swears he could hear the smile from her voice, alone.

”Caring for these is no easy task.. but you are most qualified for that.. with precious hands..”

His fingers tingle a little bit, remembering how his mother held up his hands to pepper little kisses along them as he had giggled. 

Sanji huffed a little as he pulled the flower out—with the roots intact, and the dirt surrounding it. 

Miss Robin had copied him with another flower nearby, gentler and more efficiently than he ever could. 

Captain Luffy made grabby hands toward the flower in Sanji’s hands, “Dig up another! The more the merrier, yeah?” 

“Yes, captain.” Miss Robin smiled, “Good work, little cook.” 

Sanji’s cheeks warmed again, “Th-thank you,” 

He handed the flower in his hand to Captain Luffy, and went quick to work at picking up the third and final little bunching of them. 

Once they got them all, Sanji gently bowed before the forest, especially the area they grabbed the plants from.

“Merci beaucoup, les esprits de la forêt.“

They walked—or hobbled, if you were Sanji—back to the Sunny with hands full of dirt, roots, and flowers, and a little bird carefully atop Sanji’s head. 

His mother’s words, reminding him. Respect the forests, nature, and all her blessings. “We may be people of the seas.. but the forests have always provided for all.”

 

Sanji ducked his head, once they got aboard, Doctor Chopper and Mister Brook already back — Mister Zoro having raised a brow at what they held.

“..they reminded me of my mother.”

Doctor Chopper was quick to take ahold of little bird, and quickly got to work in his Infirmary. 

“Did she like plants?” Mister Brook was the one to ask, breaking the sadly tense silence that followed Sanji’s admission. 

He nodded. “She—she always wanted a garden, b-but father didn’t find them worth it.” 

He remembers trying to care for the flowers at his mother’s grave. Sanji’s brother’s had found him, only Niji and Yonji—but they had a baseball bat, so Sanji knew it had to have been planned. They beat him up, but also stomped all over Mom’s grave.

He hadn’t realized he started to cry until Mister Zoro’s hand was quick to try and wipe away the tears. “M’sorry..”

He hoped that his mother’s final resting place was okay. He hadn’t gotten a chance to go back since, to take care of it—he failed to give her the garden she always wanted, even in death. 

“H—here,” Mister Zoro’s voice seemed hurt, as he gently took ahold of the flowers in Sanji’s hand, “Let’s—Uh,”

”We’ll place them in some spare pots, from our sniper’s workshop, and bring those pots back up to wait in the ship’s garden.” Miss Robin spoke, “Don’t worry, little cook. They’ll be well taken care of.. we will ensure it.” 

“Th-thank you.”

“Would you like to wash up?” Mister Brook patted his head, kneeling down—he always had to, Sanji was way too small compared to the musician. 

He hesitated, but nodded, wringing his hands together. The dirt felt weird against his skin. Sanji thinks he likes it—it’s better than the blood, or the grime—or anything, really.

His hands still tingled from the memory of his mother’s gentle kisses. 

 

---

 

Quickly, after a nice, warm bath, a fresh set of clothes, and Mister Brook and Mister Jinbe surprisingly struggling to dry a wiggly, excited Sanji—He practically jump about, mouth firmly shut, but eyes bright, hair fluffy, and little body unable to contain his joy once he had processed it.

During the entire process of bathing and drying up, he happily rattled off tales of their adventure earlier that day, and any facts he could remember from Miss Robin’s explanations—and any facts he remembered reading about at Germa—And! He couldn’t wait to meet the little bird again!

Doctor Chopper happily told Sanji about the little Bird—Apparently, they had asked for a name from Sanji, and Sanji felt like crying—not for the usual reasons—but—! 

“Do you like the name Marigold?”

He and Doctor Chopper sat across each other, the little bird resting on a small blanket they found and wrapped into a little mock-nest. 

“She asked what it means.” 

“U-um—It’s! A flower, Miss Robin told me about them, they’re pretty, vibrant yellow-i-ish flowers a-and can symbolize, uh,” Sanji rattled his brain to try and recall—and he did! brightening up, “Joy, creativity- R..”

”Rem—emb..rence.” He pronounced slowly, to get it right, “And a-are resilience—Resilient!” 

“She likes it!” Doctor Chopper smiled, after listening intently to the little, giddy chirps of the healing bird. “Nice to meet you, Marigold!”

”It-it’s nice to meet you, Miss Marigold.” Sanji followed Chopper, bowing his head a little, “Thank you for trusting us to help!” 

Miss Marigold chirped happily, uninjured wing fluttering happily beside her.

“She says thank you, too!” Doctor Chopper translated, happily. 

Sanji absolutely beamed. 

 

---

 

As the rest of the crew returned, and got everything in order, Sanji had happily introduced the entire crew to “Miss Marigold,” the little bird contentedly sitting in the palms of his little hands as he held her up like she was the sweetest, most precious little treasure out there. 

Eventually, he placed the small bird down somewhere safe and comfortable within Chopper’s infirmary, allowing her to rest.

Zoro watched as the little tufts of blond hair shuffled out of the infirmary, turning to wave goodbye to the little bird before letting the door fall mostly shut—it was the first time he even stepped in the infirmary, and Nami made sure to praise the hell out of the brat for it.

His face was flushed as Nami patted his hair, still fluffy from the terrible drying job, explained by Brook and Jinbe’s drenched clothing. 

The swordsman had a good laugh at that, Sanji—even now—still a pain in the ass. An endearing one, but don’t let the cook hear that- or, uh. Remember anything related to Zoro saying that, to the little version of him, here, now.

When Sanji hesitantly shuffled up to Zoro with Marigold, Zoro raised a brow, and gave the boy a good pat on his still-slightly-damp hair. He tried to smile in an un-scary way, as he said with a sadly-usually-gruff-voice, “Nice to meet you.” 

He must’ve did something right, because the way the little cook brightened up struck straight through his heart. 

Don’t tell anyone, though. 

..Can you blame him? So far, out of everyone, the little cook’s been the most wary of Zoro. His blue eye always flicking between where the swordsman’s hands and feet are and the swords always strapped at his side. Can’t blame the brat, he can understand — Zoro knows himself as a rather scary guy. He has a difficult time trying not to be one, especially with little kids..

It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He cares a lot, actually—just, he usually doesn’t think or realize that people might not just know he does. The cook is part of their crew. He cares about the crew.

He just can’t figure out how to deal with the scared, traumatized child that currently takes the place of said cook.

..There was also something about the bird that was off—not unlike his swords, where they had souls that were individual to each of them—but still, different. Nothing.. threatening. Just, 

Zoro wouldn’t be surprised if the damned brat accidentally adopted some kind of unknown, unfathomable powerhouse of an “esprits,” or whatever it was that he heard Robin murmur about.

Chapter 5: Even Still, the Shadows Linger All to Well

Summary:

Miss Marigold and Sanji read together for a bit! Aannd, there are some talks of war after a quick run in with a meanie.
However, weighted blankets are pretty nice.

Notes:

Alternatively titled “Sanji and the Proper Care of Little Flowers 2/2”

Sanji happily followed after Miss Nami after saying goodnight to Miss Marigold. 

She walked him, and grabbed Usopp to go to, the area they held their garden in— There were trees with oranges-? on them! 

“My tangerine trees,” Miss Nami explained, “You tell me first if you want to try one, okay?”

Sanji nodded firmly, “Tan..jerr..eene.” He practiced pronouncing the word silently to himself—he thinks he saw it written down once in one of the books he had access to.. It’s a fun word.

Miss Nami smiled fondly, giving his fluffy head a pat. “Good.” 

“Thank you!” He smiled, feeling all giddy and warm again all over.

“Alright! Let’s see what these puppies are.” Mister Captain Usopp grinned, already kneeling down before the three potted flowers.

Sanji padded over—he learned quickly that Mister Captain Usopp was more skittish and jumpy, not unlike himself, so Sanji made efforts to be a little louder in his footsteps than before for him, so he doesn’t scare him again.

He mimicked the sniper’s seated position, placing his hands on the tops of his knees. Miss Nami worked silently behind them, tending to her trees. 

“I think these’re Nigella Damascena..” Mister Captain Usopp hummed.

”N-nee..gel..lah.” Sanji murmured, “Dama..s-scen..ah.” 

“Also known as Love-in-the-mist’s.” Mister captain Usopp smiled, “To keep ‘em growing around here, we gotta gather their seeds and sow ‘em every once in awhile.” 

“S-sow?”

”Yeah! like,” The sniper waved his hands a bit, “Planting them, in soil, scattering them around, and stuff.” 

“okay!” 

Mister Captain Usopp grinned brighter, “Okay, now—let’s figure out where they’d fit best..” 

“Uhuh!” 

 

Nami smiled at them, as they worked around the little area, ensuring that the flowers have be comfortable, as per Sanji’s insistence and Usopp’s willingness to follow along. 

 

---

 

“They didn’t have a lot of clothes for sale at the market, but we did gather some extra fabrics and stuff.”

Franky stated, grinning, “Sanji-bro tends to be the best at the whole sewing stuff, but Usopp and I can figure something out for the little-bro, so we don’t have to keep him and chopper-bro sharing clothes.” 

“I believe Nami wouldn’t mind designing and creating some of them.. she has seemed rather particular on the fabric choices, no?” Robin smiled, and Nami threw her hands in the air—

“Take one look at him, and tell me you don’t want to ensure he has the softest—fluffiest—most breathable, and comforting clothes!” 

Robin laughed, nodding. 

“Witch.” Zoro huffed.

”I’m affording it by increasing your debt.”

The swordsman cursed. 

Little Sanji had fallen asleep, nestled in Brook’s side.

The Musician probably would’ve been frowning, uncertain if he truly was the most comfortable person to sleep by—He, along with the rest of the crew, didn’t know how to feel about the idea that a literal skeleton had reminded Sanji of safety, home, and his mother. But they understood, Brook was one of the more wiser, peaceful presences on the crew. 

Usopp had handed Brook a pillow to quickly tuck between them and fluff up the place for the child, and Brook nodded, thanking their sniper. 

The blond hair sprawled across the soft thing, cheek squished firmly against it, one hand grasping onto Brook’s clothes. Marigold had settled into the Brat’s shoulder and neck, one of Brook’s hands gently patting at the strands of hair, keeping careful of the bird.

Drool dribbled down the cook’s face, which Marigold wiped away at with the top of her head. That caused Zoro to snort, shaking his head—damned bird. 

“Oi—“ He turned to Nami, “Y’think tomorrow I could get some berrie to spend?”

The witch raised her brow, “..Uhuh. Why.”

He gave—what was not—a pout, and crossed his arms. He mumbled, “T’ see if I can get the shitty brat something.” 

Nami stared, and Brook looked toward him as though he raised a nonexistent brow. Yohoho, or whatever, bullshit.

”Alright.. I’ll give you some extra with your allowance, but if it’s not worth it, your debt’s increasing.”

”Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” 

Zoro found himself grinning. 

The small cook always seemed to struggle with sleep. Yeah, their older, shittier cook, always struggled with it—but the little guy had a harder time hiding it. Whether he was grateful for that or not.. was difficult to discern. 

More oft than not, whether Zoro was out on watch, or trying to sleep, he’d oft come around or awaken to finding the little brat shivering, curled in on himself, usually—awake, but trying to pretend he wasn’t.

It was those moments, specifically, where the swordsman couldn’t sense the little guy’s haki. More often than not, the disappearance of it caused both him and Luffy to startle, and go frantically looking for the damned brat—It was something he hadn’t fully processed Sanji having been doing, until now—when he was more aware of Sanji because, well, he’s currently a kid.

The picture it painted wasn’t great. An eight year old, already, having mastered how to hide his haki? It.. was likely a skill triggered for survival. When the little guy didn’t feel safe—he likely tried to hide, and grow as small as he could, to be as imperceptible as possible. 

What seemed to help this, Zoro, along with some of the others, noted that keeping him company was the best bet. But they didn’t want to smother him, or let him drown in the guilt of having burdened them, even when none of them—even Zoro—felt burdened.

Nestled into Brook, or atop of Jinbe, seemed to be the most common sleeping—napping, Zoro mused,—positions for the little cook. Which, was rather surprising, if you asked literally anyone.

That all being said, Zoro’s gonna hunt something down for the little shit. He’ll take note from what Nami’s frantic fabric attaining involved, and find the best of the best. 

 

---

 

Miss Marigold stuck close by Sanji. Sanji wouldn’t complain—he scampered across the Thousand Sunny and all it’s huuuggee, suuuuupperrr, greatness, giving the small bird a tour. 

He tried to relay the information he received before, and warned Miss Marigold that if she had any questions to ask Doctor Chopper—Sanji wasn’t good at that, answering questions—Sanji wasn’t good at a lot of things.. but! 

He got the hang of speaking the common tongue a lot better! Without forgetting his mastery of his mother’s language! 

He sat in the garden-space with Miss Marigold, reading aloud a small book, hesitatingly—fumbling a lot—but he got the hang of it! 

It was about all sorts of fish! Miss Robin handed it to him, asking if he’d like to read with Miss Marigold.

The Love-in-the-mists were settling down nicely into their new home, and Sanji kept glancing up from the book to look at them, and sometimes switched between them and Miss Marigold, making sure she wasn’t bored or upset. Each time he’d ask if she’d rather do anything else, the little bird just shuffled and stayed put. 

So.. Uh, hoping he interpreted that right, he went right back to the fish-book, kicking his feet a bit from behind him, where he lay sprawled on his stomach. 

It was quite rare for Sanji, to not be running around the ship, poking his fluffy head through doors, asking if he could help with anything—but, with Miss Robin’s recommendation, he settled down in this little corner. Safely tucked away, in the nice smells and environment with the little tangerine trees and various other plants—

Something moved. 

Sanji froze. 

He scrambled up onto his feet, snatching the book and pressing it close to his chest—he gently cradled Marigold into his hand, and quite practically bolted.

 

---

 

Robin was working on learning the language of the North Blue. She knew quite a good bit of it, but never really had any reason to put it to use. It seemed, the little cook had more knowledge of communicating that way than any others— And there was one page of the notes that were found at the counter, when they found out about Sanji’s condition, that was written in North Blue. 

She was quite curious, especially when she heard the little boy speak to the patch of flowers, Merci Beaucoup, Les Esprits de la Forêt.

Forest spirits. Robin was aware of their cook’s inclination toward fantasy and fairytales, but he never truly elaborated or expressed it outwardly. Younger Sanji appeared to take it far more seriously, like he was taught it growing up.

Oh, to speak with their older cook and discuss such matters over tea..—

Something was wrong.

She gently closed her book, got up, and went out onto the deck. 

Kneeling down besides the tight, curled up boy, she took gentle hold of the little bird, Marigold, who was nervously flittering about beside him. “Young cook..?”

Marigold chirped. Sanji only grasped tighter at his hair.

”I’m taking Marigold somewhere safe, is that okay with you, Sanji?” 

A wobbly blue eye peaked out from behind a small arm, and the young boy jerkily nodded. 

“Thank you.” Robin’s heart nearly shattered at the stream of tears that dragged down the boy’s face. 

Refusing to move from his side, she summoned a trail of hands to carefully pass Marigold down and back into her spot in Chopper’s Infirmary. 

Robin sat besides the small boy, scanning the ship with her devil fruit. 

Usopp and Luffy were struggling to capture and secure a small, flying bug—Franky and Zoro in the workshops, scrambling for something with the help of Nami and chopper. Jinbe was at the helm, steady. When the fishman noticed Robin’s eye, and an ear, he gave a nod, frowning deeper, “He was scared of us, we only made it worse trying to get near him.” 

Brook had been returning something to the library — a book, that Robin immediately recognized as the one she had given Sanji moments prior. 

She frowned, it seemed her efforts weren’t enough to protect the young blond. Looking down at his tiny form, she apologized softly, bringing a hand to carefully rest against his head. 

He flinched, but stayed still—even when shivering, shaking like a leaf. 

“m—-d-désolé, désolé.” hiccuping, he shook his head, “Je suis désolé—“

Sorry, sorry, I am sorry.

”Ça va, you’re okay.. it’s okay. C’est ça va, Come here, Sanji.” 

“M-maman?” 

Saying her heart broke would’ve been an understatement. “..Is it alright if I hold you?” 

The boy started to sniffle, bringing his arms to wipe at his face. The archeologist breathed slowly, and was successful in observing the hesitant nodding. Sanji shifted about, trying to sit back up. 

Robin pulled the little cook up and into her arms, running her fingers through his hair as she held him close.

“You’re okay.”

 

---

 

Sanji had fallen asleep, no doubt due to the exhaustion from the emotions his little body was wracked with. 

The crew at the workshop scrambled to get up—a rather thick blanket in Zoro’s arms. When they reached them, he handed it to Chopper, the little doctor softly stepping closer to Robin and Sanji, placing the blanket gently on him. 

The boy’s shivering slowly came to a halt after that.

Everyone jumped when the door to the tangerine trees opened, and Luffy exclaimed, “We got it—!!”

”Shut up, Luffy!” Nami shouted, “Get rid of it before Sanji wakes up!”

”Got it, haha!” Luffy grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. Usopp collapsed next to Robin with a tired huff, “Yeah..” 

“The little guy okay?” Usopp asked, sitting up to look at the ball of fluffy yellow hair peaking out of the blanket tucked into Robin’s side.  

“..He will be.” 

 

”..Marigold says she’s alright with declaring war against the flies.” Chopper broke the silence, with a quiet voice. 

“..sorry?” Nami rose a brow. “What now?”

”She.. uh.” Chopper looked back at the little bird, listening as she chirped away. “Says they are stupid and mean. Uhm. And Th-that’s me putting it nicely.” 

Nami just gave their doctor a pat on the head, and placed a finger on Marigold’s head to do the same. “We understand and wish to, too, but Sanji wouldn’t appreciate us going to war for him.”

The bird huffed, ruffled feathers and all. Luffy, as well, pouted and crossed his arms. 

 

---

 

Sanji.. awoke with a fairly weighted feeling all over him, something blanketing him that was soft, cozy, and difficult to want to remove himself from. 

He turned, shifting, so his back was facing inwards, and blearily opened a sleepy blue eye. Tufts of fluffy blond hair sticking out in many directions. He didn’t have the energy to try and comb it back in place, as he peaked around where he was. 

The blanket on him was so warm, and heavy enough that he knew it was there and real — and soft enough that he knew he wasn’t stuck.

Beside him were.. Miss Robin and Mister Capain Usopp.. They were out on the deck, against the wall that led to the infirmary and the galley. his mind flicked threw what happened before he fell asleep.. his eyes felt crusty, no doubt from the seemingly endless supply of tears he was so ready to constantly provide—but his limbs felt so heavy and comfortable that he couldn’t be bothered to wipe away at them.

They were dried out, now, which explains the crustiness.

The crust is now bothering him.

There’s also not enough compression against his internal organs, either. 

He shuffled a little bit and turned himself down onto his stomach, the warm blanket still comfortably atop him. Sanji poked his hands out just a bit, using one to paw at his eyes. 

A hand landed upon the blanket where his back would be, and another was in his hair. He let out some unintelligible noises, mumbling, as he brought his hands back down to lay his head on. 

“Hey, bud..” Mister Captain Usopp said something to him. But he couldn’t understand it—wait, hold on, translating, retranslating...  uhm.. he’s heard Mister Captain Usopp say those words before..

Right, not North Blue.. think not North Blue. 

“mm’m..?” Sanji could assume the hand at his back was Mister Captain Usopp’s.

”Is the floor that comfy?” Mister Captain Usopp asked, a bit of a playful lilt to his voice—Sanji can tell it was slightly forced, the nervousness radiated off the sniper like waves. 

Sanji just shifted a bit to lie on his side, tucking his hands back into the blanket, and shuffling his shoulders to burry himself further underneath it. Mister Captain Usopp chuckled, and Miss Robin—with a familiar smell of cherry blossom—apparently summoned a grouping of detached hands to make a mock-pillow for him.

He poked one hand back out the warm, soft cocoon, and grasped around to hold onto one of those hands, soon after drifting back to sleep. To another child,—or even, adult,—it might’ve been a little disturbing, but Sanji is tired. And, Miss Robin is safe.

Mister Captain Usopp, too—but he doesn’t summon so many detached limbs.

 

Later in the galley, after Sanji managed to not succumb to the blissful lull of a weighted blanket again, he bowed, legs tucked beneath him and forehead against his hands on the floor, “I’m sorry for how I handled things earlier with the garden.”

He remembered the things his mother told him, on nature, on the land, of the forests—and he’d already failed before. Not only did he mess up now, he caused more trouble for the crew that took him in. 

”I know with life, it also i-includes bugs.. I-I’ll work more on handling h-how I react to them. I—.”

”Stop.”

Captain Luffy was kneeling in front of Sanji, his voice causing the boy to flinch and look up. 

“You’re okay.” Captain Luffy quickly smiled at him, pulling him back to sitting up by his shoulders, “Sanji doesn’t have to change. We’ll work with Sanji, and the bugs’ll just have to deal with it.”

…work with me? 

What? 

“Young Sanji,” Mister Brook always spoke kindly. “It is not your fault you’ve had traumatic experiences with them…”

“…It does not make you a bad person for being afraid of them.” 

Oh..

”Thank you for trusting us to help, little cook.” Miss Robin summoned a hand on him to pat at his hair. “After everything you’ve been through.. it is not easy. Soyez fier.” 

Water bubbled from his eyes, as he sniffled, bringing a fist up to wipe at his face.

Captain Luffy wiped away at some of his tears, as well, rubbery palms bending to the comfort of Sanji’s squishy skin, patting at his cheeks.

“Sanji’s kind,” Luffy quietly laughed, squishing the blond’s face,

“But he forgets to be kind to himself, too.” 

Notes:

I liked the idea of Usopp calling Sanji “bud” originally as, like, “buddy”, as an awkward attempt at interacting with a child-version of one of the more hot-headed, private members of the crew for the first time — and then realizing Sanji really likes flowers — so, he kept it, because “bud” and “flower bud” !!

Chapter 6: What We’ve Already Learned Can Still be Applied!

Summary:

Sanji gets to go out shopping with Mister Captain Usopp! And.. meets some marines!

Notes:

Alternatively titled “Sanji and Swordsmanship”

CW: typical OP violence and sensitive subjects

“Y-you really fought and won a-against giant bees..?”

”Of course! Nothing attacks the Great Captain Usopp and lives to tell the tale!” 

As soon as he could, he managed to drag Mister Captain Usopp with him back into the space with the tangerine trees, the herbs, and the love-in-the-mists. 

When they reached it, Sanji padded his way to the love-in-the-mists, kneeling down before the three little plants, and leaning down to them with a hand cupped at the side of his mouth, whispering, “Je suis desolee, petites fleurs.”

”I’m sorry I ran away. I‘ll work on getting better at protecting you.” 

Sanji helped Mister Captain Usopp with gardening that morning, lugging around a watering pail over half his size, Miss Marigold flittering about after him. Her wing, healing up nicely under Doctor Chopper’s phenomenal care.

 

---

 

Sanji was out with Mister Zoro, back on the spring island where he met Miss Marigold. 

His feet had to figure out how to walk on the land again. But, he was able to pick it up faster than last time!

Miss Marigold was out with Doctor Chopper, Miss Robin, and Captain Luffy.

Mister Brook stayed on watch, as well as Mister Jinbe. Miss Nami and Mister Franky went out into town as well, but elsewhere—for something Miss Robin referred to as a “reconnaissance.”

Mister Captain Usopp was also with Sanji and Mister Zoro. 

But Sanji wasn’t so uncertain of Mister Captain Usopp as he was with Mister Zoro. 

Mister Zoro was difficult to read. Probably because he didn’t express emotions as easily as Mister Captain Usopp. Probably because Sanji’s mind kept drawing similarities between Mister Zoro and his brothers. 

Those.. Sanji knew were wrong and uncalled for. Mister Zoro is kind, Sanji’s seen it in how he treats his crew—How he treats Sanji.

He’s kind. Sanji feels bad. Mister Zoro is kind, and yet Sanji can’t stop being scared of him.

Mister Captain Usopp nudged Mister Zoro away from a wrong direction. And the swordsman just grunted, following wherever the sniper directed him to.

Mister Zoro kept glancing behind him, to keep an eye on Sanji, no doubt. Sanji was small and easy to miss.

He saw Mister Zoro turn his head to the side a bit to ask Mister Captain Usopp a question— “You sure you saw the store nearby?”

”Of course I did!” Mister Captain Usopp glanced back at Sanji, and held a hand out. “C’mon, bud.” 

Sanji blinked at the hand, confused.

Mister Captain Usopp raised a brow, holding his hand out a little more.

He hesitated, putting one of his hands down on the open palm. Sanji quickly looked up at the sniper’s face, trying to find any trace of approval or disapproval— 

He was met with a bright grin, and a thumbs up, as Mister Captain Usopp tugged Sanji gently forwards, between him and Mister Zoro.

Sanji smiled, too, letting out a squeel as Mister Captain Usopp hefted him up by the arm and held him at his side. “Alright, bud. We’re gonna leave Zoro here, hopefully he wont get lost— and we’re gonna pick out some plant buddies for the Love-in-the-mists! When we’re done, we’ll hunt Zoro back down, and head back to the Sunny!” 

Sanji nodded, looking back at Mister Zoro, “Okay..?” 

Mister Zoro gave a firm nod, and a thumbs up. 

“Okay!” 

 

---

 

They got a bunch of Lavender and Lemon Yew-Ka-Lip-tus seeds! They can help ward off insects, according to Mister Captain Usopp—

When they reached where Mister Zoro was.. he wasn’t there. Mister Captain Usopp let out a groan, hand wrapped around Sanji’s again, “Let’s head back to the ship—then we’ll try and hunt down Zoro, ok, bud?”

Sanji gave a slow nod. And they were on their way. 

What would Mister Zoro want with the plush looking creatures? 

 

---

 

They reached the Thousand Sunny.. everything looked.. barren? 

“G-Guys..?” Mister Captian Usopp asked, looking around. 

Mister Captain Usopp called out again, this time for Mister Brook, Mister Jinbe, even Mister Zoro and Miss Robin.

“Hey, b-bud?”

“Mhm?” 

Mister Captain Usopp knelt before him, patting his shoulder. 

“Take the seeds to the tangerine trees, okay? I’m.. going to see what’s up. When you’re done, go in the galley. S-Stay there til one of us gets you.”

Sanji silently nodded, holding the seeds close to his chest.

”G-good, alright—? Stay safe, okay?” 

He nodded firmly, and silently went off to do as he was told.

 

Once Mister Captain Usopp was certain Sanji had made it to the trees, he had went off—sneaking around the ship, scouting the area.

Sanji gently placed the seeds in a safe storage area—on his way back to the galley.. he tripped on something.

 He stumbled, but steadied himself—and looked down at what it was.

It was one of Mister Zoro’s swords. With the white handle—That was his favorite one. Or- favorite might be the wrong word, but it’s the best Sanji can come up with right now that fits.

It was unsheathed. 

Mister Zoro wouldn’t be without this sword—much less, if it weren’t sheathed. — Unless something was horribly wrong. 

Sanji picked up the blade reverently—it was a bit heavy, but Sanji was used to dealing with worse. He pushed through weak and shaking arms, and carefully made his way to the galley like Mister Captain Usopp said to. He just about crept through the door—

“Shit, they got a brat with ‘em.”

Unfamiliar voice. Sanji froze.

”Isn’t that Roronoa Zoro’s sword?” 

Another one. 

“Maybe he’s tryna steal it?”

”Ha! to think, one of our own disarmed the Demon of the East!”

”Shut it, man! You’re scarin’ the kid.” 

Sanji stepped back from the galley, and turned. 

There were uniformed men, each armed with swords of their own—Sanji recognized the uniform from some old lectures and meetings he attended. Marines. 

Um. Marines hated pirates.. right? And the Strawhats were pirates..

There were more Marines coming aboard. Sanji didn’t know where the others were— he can kind of sense Mister Captain Usopp’s presence somewhere behind him—not exactly there, but probably somewhere in the bunk. 

“Hey, kid.” One of the marines knelt down to meet him eye level, not unlike Mister Captain Usopp before. “What are you doing here?”

“Quoi?” 

He clutched the sword closer to his chest.

“Huh?”

”Did’ya just squawk?”

Sanji felt frustration bubbling up his chest, “No?!” 

“I swear, I heard a squawk.”

Another marine had insulted his mother’s language. The others, most definitely on board without permission, laughed. 

He bristled, “Shut up, s-stupid!”

”Ha! Sure, brat. Now answer me.” The marine before him turned a bit sterner.

Sanji jumped back when his hand reached for him—the latch to the bunk opened with a slam.

”Oi—Boss, I got one of ‘em, he snuck back on board.” 

Mister Captain Usopp was struggling in a chokehold, hands clawing at the arm around his neck, and legs flailing as the Marine jumped back onto the deck. 

“Should we take the ship and go, now?”

”Yeah, yeah. We should.” The marine before him stood up, apparently the boss. He once again reached out a hand to pat Sanji on the head, “Alright, guys—!”

He moved before he had time to think. 

Mister Captain Usopp’s head was looking bluer and bluer by the second, movements weaker and weaker. 

Sanji would be damned if he’d allowed anything worse to happen to these kind people and their ship any longer. 

He can’t repay the Strawhats otherwise—he has to make it up to them somehow.  

“GAH, SHIT—shitshitshit—“

The boss screamed, falling back to his knees and clutching at an arm no longer there. Flung, to the side. 

“FUCK. Get the kid!” 

The Marine once in the bunk dropped Mister Captain Usopp immediately, the others running at him— Sanji moved with practiced steps, eyes wide, hands gripping the sword hilt tightly. 

His chest was so tight, he wanted to throw up—but he had no time, no time to think—only act.

Things he learned once alongside his brothers, then quickly from being used as a dummy for them—came back to him quick, like an old, toxic friend. Muscle memory, more than anything. 

He heard a gasping, startled breath beside him— Mister Captain Usopp. Catching his breath, no doubt terrified right now. He scrambled quickly back as Sanji deflected blows just barely—having to adapt via parying and slipping away, using his small stature to his advantage. 

The sword was heavy in his arms, only heavier and harder to work with through flesh, but he kept fighting. 

He tripped knocked more out than he sliced and stabbed. Small mercies.

His mind went blank. Someone was reaching out to grab at Mister Captain Usopp again— and Sanji pushed into the man as hard as be could—knocking the man back and down only because of surprise—Sanji was sneaky, years of hiding from pain kept him geared for avoiding attacks and shocking others. 

As quickly as he jumped, he stepped on the back of the marine’s legs firmly, and directed the blade at the Marine’s neck. 

Breath shaking, heart pounding, and eyes firmly directed towards the target—

A snap, from a slingshot, caused him to flinch. Mister Captain Usopp had shot a group of marines ready to jump back at Sanji—esnaring them in vines. The Marine below him was breathing heavily, bruised and battered—sneering.

“Fuckin’ brat.” His eyes, Sanji could see so closely. 

There was a ring on his finger, too. Sanji hadn’t tried to land fatal blows before—but now, Sanji wasn’t sure if he could at all. 

The marine’s eyes were darkened with frustration, small with fear—Sanji couldn’t breath. But the blade, still pressed against the neck of the marine, sang out as a constant warning. 

He moved, using the hilt of the blade — saying a quick apology — and smashing it down on the marine’s head, knocking him out. 

 

---

 

“o-okay, bud.. hey..” 

Usopp scrambled up to where Sanji was—quickly regaining his breath, his senses, and responsibility. He held his hands up, arms shaky, but still—

Sanji hadn’t moved—god, there was blood everywhere.

He knows how particular Sanji always is with cleanliness—and he knows, especially with blood, and how the little one seemed more sensitive to those things—and Usopp can’t blame the kid—their cook—especially considering what they just found out about the guy’s life before the Baratie—

The kid, right. Usopp carefully, and slowly, grabbed Sanji’s hand, “Hey—bud.. it’s okay.”

Sanji was shaking so badly. Usopp’s heart felt like it was clogging his throat. 

He used his other hand to rest against the kids back, moving the one around his hand to grab ahold of Wado. 

The others were running down the coast—Zoro, Nami, and Jinbe.

Zoro ran, a noticeable lack of one sword. And saw the carnage on the ship— He stepped aboard, sheathing his two swords, and knelt besides Sanji without a second thought. 

“..cook?” 

Sanji flinched, but otherwise didn’t move. He let Usopp take Wado and return it to Zoro, who flicked the blood off it to the side quickly before returning her to her sheath.

”…Are they dealt with?” Jinbe, once he reached them, asked. 

Nami looked as horrified as Usopp felt.

”Y-yeah, just about.”

He looked at the little boy before him, the boy that was supposed to grow up and become the Strawhat’s Cook. The cook who never fought with his hands. The boy that is the cook of their crew—and not for the first time,

He realized how little he truly knew about him.

The same man who fed them everyday like it was nothing. The same man who bended over backwards just to please anyone and everyone on their crew—the same man who worked day and night keeping the Sunny clean, the crew happy, and all of it protected. 

The man who noted the most smallest of details—who pinpointed that something was off or wrong, and was quick to provide anything that could just make everything better.

They.. really didn’t know how to make anything better for him, though.

I’ll do what you can’t do, and you’ll do what I can’t.

Even when they pinpointed that something was off with him,—which was rare enough as was—it was a struggle to figure out what and why. It was difficult to get him to speak—much less, tell the truth—

And here all it is. That trauma, the what, the why.

Usopp is left grasping at straws to figure out how to help. 

 

---

 

Sanji had yet to speak.

The rest of the crew trickled back aboard—they recounted what happened.

While half the crew was out in the forests exploring, they got ambushed and almost hunted down like animals. While a quarter was out in town, scouting the area and sneaking around, they found Zoro—He was lost. And without Wado. 

While guarding the ship, Brook and Jinbe mentioned an ambush of marines — Zoro having been knocked back and forced to chase after what they had thought was the last of them, unable to retrieve Wado in time.

Those on guard were supposed to follow—but Brook fell in the water, Jinbe having to run back and dive down for him. After that, they ran in to Nami—Who notified them of what was going on with the first half—Franky, having already gone to aid them. Jinbe went with Nami to find Zoro again, Brook went to aid the rest. They had seen Usopp and Sanji arriving before they left.

..And Sanji retrieved Wado, while Usopp scouted the ship for trouble, and dealt with said trouble, himself.

Luffy kept staring at Sanji—His hands, especially. 

He was still covered in smears and splatters of caked in blood. 

Marigold fluttered her wings, she managed to land on Luffy’s hat, and Luffy moved.

He kneeled before Sanji—the crew managed to clear out the ship of marines, cleaning up what they could.

”Sanji?” Luffy tried. 

Sanji flinched, keeping his head low, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I acted w-without knowing what y-you wanted—t-they had M-mister Captian U-Usopp a-and—“ He took in sharp inhales, barely stopping to breath. “I’m sorry—I—I used t-the blade w-without permission a-and I—“

”D-did you want me t-to kill them? D-did I kill them—? I— I’m sorry—p-please, tell me what t-to do. W-what s-should I have d-done? How c-can I be better?” 

Luffy placed a hand on top of Sanji’s head—the boy jolted and screwed his eyes shut so tightly, pleads falling from his lips so fast—I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me, I’ll do better, I can do better, I should’ve been better, I’m sorry—

And Luffy.. waited. Breath steady, mood tense. 

Sanji’s eyes were like broken dams, tears finally streaming freely down from the big blueness of them. 

“Sanji did good.” Luffy spoke. “Sanji protected his crew, his ship, and his home. Sanji did good. Sanji doesn’t need to feel guilty.”

”Sanji worked hard with what he had, and Sanji did good.” 

The boy just sobbed. 

“Sanji doesn’t have to do anything Sanji doesn’t want to.. but next time,” Luffy grabbed ahold of both little Sanji’s hands, littered with drying blood, “Protect your hands. Sanji’s hands are important to Sanji.”

Sanji’s fists clenched tightly and firmly nodded, Luffy’s hand not applying so much pressure to his head that he couldn’t move.

”Did Sanji want to kill..?” Luffy asked, softer. 

“N-no, I—“ Sanji choked out another sob, bringing his hands up to wipe away at his eyes, “I—I d-didn’t, I don’t—I-I don’t want p-people to be h-hurt.”

”..Sanji is kind.” Luffy pat Sanji’s head, running his fingers through it. “Sanji did good today.”

“i-im sorry—I’m so sorry—“

Luffy huffed, wrapping his arms around Sanji three times over with stretchy limbs, bloodied and all. He didn’t squeeze tightly, only intending to gently hold.

“You’re okay.” 

He placed the side of his face against Sanji’s fluffy hair, ruffling it with his rubbery cheek.

Sanji hiccuped, sniffling.

“You’re okay..”

Notes:

3 chapters, one day Woo
(more like 2, but.. yeah ✨)

Chapter 7: Intermission: Art

Summary:

the previous one, and the next few chapters, get kinda sad—Like, really sad
Deep into darker thoughts and such again — SO
As a little reprieve; sharing some little doodles I made related to the fic!

Notes:

Take care and thank you for all the sweet words and kudos!! Hope you enjoy the fic so far, and what’s to come

Chapter 8: Little Ducks Follow Home, Even After Long Nights

Summary:

Zoro shows Nami where he spent the berrie, Sanji tries holing himself up, and Robin reads.

Ups and downs are not always bad, like a ship — rocking on the waves.

The night was a total disaster.

She means, the crew’s always seen bloodshed, and likely killed more people than any of them can count—But looking at the blank expression of a boy who never wanted to hurt anyone, surrounded by fallen marines and blood everywhere—some of which, without limbs—was.. startling. That boy, especially, being their cook, who expressed time and time again that he would never use his hands to fight? Yeah. 

Nami had a difficult time finding her footing again after Whole Cake, especially with Sanji. They fought together in Wano, and things had seemed quite patched back up again—Everything.. normal. As normal as it could get, at least. 

..It’s been a long couple of months. 

When Luffy talked to the younger version of Sanji, Nami remembers why she followed their captain in the first place.

Luffy loves his crew. He wants to be king of the pirates, he wants to be free. And he wants freedom for his crew, especially. 

Sanji pleads for orders, begging for parameters on how to behave—his uncertain padding around the rooms, trying to see if there was anything he could do for any of them— 

Name understands why Luffy’s upset. 

Their cook never truly wanted for anything more than to be able to cook and care for the ones he loves. Yet, Sanji constantly forgoes remembering his own needs, his own inclusion in the crew. Sanji doesn’t know how to be free. He had it, before—The crew, his freedom—but he was always looking over his shoulders, fearing for whatever force was going to take it all away.

How can someone truly have freedom if they are always worried about it being taken? Nami knew that far too well..

And then it did get taken away—But—

But with their cook.. he always seemed to get it in his head—he had to work, constantly. He put pressure on himself to earn his freedom at every step of the way. He couldn’t be free if he had that much of a need to earn it, every step of the way, even when it was something that he just.. deserved, innately.

When was the last time they checked in on him..? How long did he carry that fear of returning to his (not)family? Why didn’t any of them notice, do anything to help him, figure it out—

Zoro elbowed her in the side. “Oi, witch.”

”What.” Her eye twitched.

”Gotta show you somethin’, remember?” 

“….” She raised a brow. Zoro rolled his eyes, waving for her to follow him into the galley. 

 

“Chopper mentioned that they were going to release the bird back to her home, soon—and the kid was struggling with sleep, so..”

Nami could only stare at the stuffed toy that no doubt was just as big as, if not; taller than, Sanji is now. A Lamb. A large, plush lamb. Laying there, on the galley table. 

She just stared. 

Zoro rubbed the back of his neck, shifting awkwardly.

”..Where did you find this.”

“Usopp showed me.” That meant, ask Usopp.

If Sanji liked it, she may have to hold the crew back from taking the entire store before they left.

 

---

 

Luffy didn’t want to let go of Sanji. He fell asleep, but still had to be cleaned. Luffy knows little Sanji is like Sanji Sanji, not liking being dirty. 

He picked tiny Sanji up, following Chopper to the baths. Usopp hesitated, but followed behind quickly after, as the rest went to cleaning the ship up thoroughly—Nami and Zoro headed to the galley.

While Luffy and Usopp helped clean Sanji up, Chopper checked for any injuries. 

Besides some bruising around his legs and knees, and scratches along his hands, there were thankfully no other wounds. There were some bad marks across the kid Sanji’s sides — but Chopper.. Reassured Luffy and Usopp that they were not from the fight.

Luffy helped dry Sanji up as Usopp gathered some of the clothes they made for the kid—a pair of pajamas. The sniper held them up proudly, grinning. “Best seamstress in the world!”

”You’re a woman?” Luffy asked. And Usopp bristled, “What-?!! No!!” 

“Seamstress is usually a word for a lady who sews or makes clothes.” Chopper explained Luffy’s confusion, putting away his supplies.

“Get with the times!” Usopp huffed, and helped redress Sanji in the soft, light blue pajamas. 

They had long sleeves and pants that pooled at the kid’s feet, and a little duck was embroidered by the top left of the shirt. The little cook barely stirred—when he moved, it was to snuggle further into whatever made contact with him. Either a towel, a hand or arm, or the clean clothes he now donned. 

Luffy held the blond closer, keeping his arms wrapped around him protectively. 

 

---

 

Sanji walked around with the pajamas Mister Captain Usopp made for him. They were comfortable—but he couldn’t sleep for long.

He snuck into the aquarium, curling into a spot besides a bookshelf, near the fishes, and in the dark. 

The smells there gave him a sense of comfort, grounding him to the reality that he is not back in the dungeon. He curled his legs up to his chest, resting his head on his knees, and just sat there, watching the blue light echo and bounce gently across the room - emanating from the water of the tank. 

He hurt people today. In a different way than usual, but he still hurt them— He hurt them how his brothers liked hurting people. 

His father never liked him because he was too much unlike his brothers —- Mother loved him because of the same reason. 

Would Father be proud of him? Would Mother hate him? 

..Sanji felt more hurt at the idea of his mother hating him than he was desperate for being on the receiving end of his father’s pride.

Shouldn’t.. he want to be like his brothers, though? Why did the idea hurt so much? If he was like his brothers, he wouldn’t have been thrown away like he was. He wouldn’t be so useless—Weak, pathetic. On the other hand.. would his mother still love him the same? Would.. he still love his mother?

Sanji doesn’t want to stop loving his mother. What if he became just like his brothers, and forgot everything about his mother?

He forgot her face, already. 

Was Sanji failing again? Sanji was failing again. He can’t do what his mother wanted of him. When she was alive, he at least knew he did something right.. She was always kind to him, she was always proud of him. She was always happywith him..

But Sanji failed her, too many times—too many ways, and now here he was again— He hurt people. He hurt people, he hurt people, he—-

He’s so sorry. He’s sorry to his sister, for causing her so much trouble — He’s sorry to his brothers, for being unable to keep up with them, — He’s sorry to his father, for being so wrong— He’s sorry to his mother. 

He’s so sorry his mother had only him of her sons to keep her company. He’s sorry his mother was always stuck with him—he’s sorry his mother had to deal with him so much, as pathetic and incapable as he was—

If only he could be better—a better son, a better person—If only he could have been good enough. 

Good enough for his father’s satisfaction, good enough for his mother’s happiness, good enough for all the kindness the Strawhats kept sending his way—

He isn’t good enough. He isn’t good. He’s a monster like his brothers, but a failure in every way that counts. 

And now he’s ruining the nice clothes Mister Captain Usopp, Mister Franky, and Miss Nami spent so much time and effort on—big droplets of tears and snot drenching them, and his wiping at his eyes with the sleeves that just barely fell past his fingers. 

He can’t even figure out—He doesn’t even know—what the crew wants with him. Why was he here.. what was he supposed to be doing..? What did they want of him? What should he do—?

He’s too weak to be a soldier, too pathetic to be strong, too stupid to be useful— He’s incapable and unworthy of any soft, kind thing that these pirates kept showing him. Of the kindness and unconditional love of his mother— Of the safety of a home. The friendliness of the trees—the soothing nature of the ocean—the friendliness of the animals—The life of a person’s that was worth living.

His dreams, hopes, wants—he doesn’t deserve. Why does he dare think of them, to yearn of them?

He’s selfish and wants to live, knowing full well there’s not a good enough reason for him to. He wants to see the All Blue, even after everything.

He wants to cook.. even when he’s got so much blood on his hands—not even solely of his own doing, but because of his father’s name. The cruelty of Germa and the legacy of it’s name.. The wars, the deaths—the loss of family members, the destruction of lives—everything. 

He wants more than he deserves. He wants love, approval, acceptance—but even when he gets it, guilt claws its way through, and settles there, ruining whatever he got, making him unable to properly appreciate all the effort it took to get it for him—Sanji was always incapable of making up for any of his shortcomings.

He’s not worth all the trouble—all the effort that it took just to care for him. 

He isn’t worth anything.

 

He noticed the smell of cherry blossoms before the entrance creaked open, and a soft moonlight filtered into the room.

He flinched, tucking himself further into the shelf and wall, trying to make himself smaller. 

Miss Robin walked further into the room, gently shutting the door closed behind her. She was holding something—the blanket from earlier, when Sanji freaked out over a bug. And a book, in her other hand.

She calmly sat down at one of the couches, placing the blanket on the armrest, and opening the book in her lap. 

She waited, reading. Quietly.

She waited.. And Sanji still felt paralyzed.

”If you would like to join me, I would be happy to have you.” 

She didn’t look up from her book. She patted the space beside her invitingly. 

Sanji hesitated. 

“It’s alright if you don’t wish to.”

He felt bad. That’s not what Miss Robin wants, is it? He doesn’t have the right to make her sad or to deny her something she wanted. 

She turned a page, waiting, quietly. 

He eventually managed to stumble out from the dark, and the slightest bit of surprise was visible in her eyes for only the smallest of moments.

“There you are..”

She gave such a warm, bright smile. “Would you like to join me?”

He stilled. 

Miss Robin lifted the book up a bit, closing it on her thumb to show off the cover without losing her place. “We can read this, together, if you would like.”

It was about the All Blue, and contained catalogues — each one of different fishes belonging to different parts of the sea. Sanji could recognize that anywhere.

Sanji shuffled a little, quietly padding his way to the couch. He struggled a bit getting up there, but managed to sit besides Miss Robin without much ruckus — Jerky, stiff movements and all.

He curled in on himself as soon as he settled down, wrapping his arms tightly around his legs. 

She read aloud, softly.

Cherry blossoms wafted in the air as hands sprouted and de-sprouted across the couch, and suddenly he was given the heavy little blanket. He hesitated, crawling under it, and poking his head back out to keep paying attention to Miss Robin’s voice. He leaned his head upon his hands, not unlike before, when he first encountered this warm piece of bedding.

 

---

 

She just about finished reading.. and the little cook had yet to fall asleep. Clearly, still in a bit of a daze—But at least he was no longer shaking violently, gripping tightly at his hair as he forgot how to breath.   

Robin was surprised how well the boy could hide, but she knew she can understand why he could. She was considered The Devil Child for a reason, and had spent most her life running and hiding.

”..Would you mind it if I shared something with you?” 

Sanji’s little eye blearily blinked up at her in recognition, messy blond hair once again sticking up in ways their older cook wouldn’t have dared allow. The boy shook his head, he didn’t mind, nestling further into the couch. 

And she spoke, softly, with a far more subdued version of her childhood. Of Ohara, the buster call, the running.. The blood, and all the hiding.

She mentioned Baroque Works, Her work as an assassin, how she met the Strawhats, and eventually joined Luffy’s crew.

“There was a time.. I did not believe my desires truly worth anything. I had been so focused on survival.. I had forgotten what it was like to be free, and to live. The captain and this crew.. reminded me.” She smiled, fondly, “Especially their cook, how desperately he would try to heed any of the crew’s wishes, mine included, as long as though it would not be harmful to us..” 

“He told me, once, over a cup of tea.” She hummed, voice wistful, “The horrible things we may do..? They do not define us. How we continue forwards.. does.”

“There are things.. we must do to stay alive. We cannot control what circumstances may befall us, but..”

She reached out, softly placing her actual hand upon the boy’s head. 

“I am glad that you chose to fight today. You chose to survive.. and I am so thankful for that. The crew is, no doubt, as well.” 

Little bubbles of tears dripped from the kid’s eyes, as he rubbed at them with a closed fist.

”P-por quoi—-“ Sanji cleared his throat, looking to the side, “Th—they looked s-so scared, though..”

“..They were worried about you. As was I.” Robin smiled, albeit sadly. “They did not wish for you to get hurt—they did not wish for you to have had to fight like that.. but you had to.”

”But we are glad you chose to fight..” She repeated, softer. “Because if you hadn’t, we would have lost you, Usopp, and our home.” 

She ran her fingers through the blond’s hair, gently scratching at his scalp. The kid’s head instinctively leaned into the touch. Every time Sanji did that, Robin couldn’t help how tightly her heart clenched. 

“Hopefully.. you won’t have to keep fighting alone.”

 

”Thank you, f-for telling me everything. I-I’m sorry for your home. Th-they’d be proud, th-the people there, of you, i-i mean.” Sanji whispered, curling up, now on his side, back against the couch’s.

Robin smiled. “Thank you.. do not be sorry.”

”I have a family here now, and a home, that I would not trade for the world..” She patted his head, “That includes you, little cook.”

 

---

 

”..I—“ Sanji hesitated, “M-my father wanted soldiers.”

He burried his head further into the blanket, trying to keep his face away from Miss Robin. 

“I-im not.. good enough, though.” Sanji continued, “M-my mother.. j-just wanted me to be happy.” 

“I was b-born wrong, so I—“ Sanji wrapped his arms around himself beneath the blanket, “I haven’t.. h-haven’t done any of them a-any good. I— failed b-both of them.” 

He tried to explain further, how he’d only prove time and time again that he was incapable and worthless—he’d always mess up somehow, it was just who he was—he wasn’t worth the trouble of keeping him around—and Sanji wouldn’t blame them if they had dropped him off at the island they still docked at, with Miss Marigold and the flowers. 

He cried when Miss Robin placed the book down, and pulled him up to be held. 

“You are a most precious member of the Strawhat Pirates.” She stated, quietly, but filled with conviction. “You are kind, caring, and worth everything.”

“It is not your fault, the unrealistic expectations of your father, the circumstances involving your mother—None of it is your fault.”

”You, existing, and being with us, is worth it. It is worth it for us,” She held a little more tightly, “It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do—your happiness is ours, too. Your sadness, ours. Your hopes and dreams? We want to know, we want to help, we want to be there when you reach them. We want to be there while your on the way to achieve them.. We want to be there, for you, with you, and to support you..”

“For everything, it is worth it.” 

“You are worth it.” Miss Robin loosened her grip, adjusting him in her hold to look at his eyes more directly, “You are worth everything. Nakama do not just get rid of one another like that.”

“N..nakama?”

”Something far greater than family or friends.” Her temporarily firm expression softened, breaking out into another warm smile,

“You’re one of our Nakama. One of us. We look after one another, care for one another—love one another, and help one another even when they do not think they deserve our care.”

”Okay?” Miss Robin asked, after some silence, she pulled him close once again, patting his head gently. 

He sniffled, trying to avoid getting any tears or snot on her. Nodding, “O-okay.”

“Thank you.”

”Of course, little duckling.” 

 

“duck..?”

“Yes.” 

“Quel est duck?”

She poked at the little duck embroidered on his shirt. “Here.”

”Oh..”

His blue eyes widened a little, pulling his shirt down to try and get a better look at it—wiggling a bit out of the weighted cocoon of the blanket just to do so. “It’s so cute!”

”Yes, it is.” Robin smiled. 

“H-how did Mister Captain Usopp do that?”

”Make the duck?”

”Mhm!!” 

“I believe it’s called embroidery.. a style of stitching to create art. In the morning, we can ask if he could teach us, if you wish?”

”Really?”

“Of course!”

Chapter 9: Starting to Learn Something, and Poorly Washed Rice

Summary:

A goodbye to new friends really isn’t really bye.

Zoro finally has a talk with Sanji — about what happened, but also not really about what happened.

Notes:

we take a little creative liberty and divert from cannon world build-ery, leaning toward more AU-territory here,but we have fun

Sanji absolutely refused to remove the pajamas in the morning.

He did that, nonverbally, by avoiding the bathroom, and continuing to pad across the Sunny in the same soft, light blue sleepwear. 

When one of the crew came over to try and help him change, he’d wrap his arms tightly around himself, holding onto the soft clothes and shook his head fervently. 

Sometimes, he pouted. Puffed out cheeks, deep frown, and everything. 

Nami had to contact Chef Zeff, at the Baratie, again, as Usopp tried to convince Sanji to wear any of the other clothes they made — they only managed to make one and a half more sets so far, but they were getting there!

Chopper, currently, wrapped himself around Zoro’s head, sat at his shoulders, watching the little version of Sanji run around the ship, only settling besides Robin wherever she moved and sat.

Selective-mutism was not something Chopper would disregard their Cook having. Typically.. it occurs under stressful moments — but, it seems here, Sanji was subconsciously using it as a coping mechanism. He wanted to preserve energy and decrease his stress levels — so he didn’t speak, because words were too much for him to figure out right now.

That’s what Chopper’s thinking, at least. And yeah, it’s definitely trauma induced for their cook.. But if it helped him, it helped him. 

Plus, Chopper knows how difficult it can be to grow up learning two different languages. Sanji was very fluent in speaking a language from the North—and still, working on speaking the common language. 

“Sometimes the eggplant’d get a little protective of the clothes he wore. On off weeks, he’d spend a couple of days clinging to the same clothing.. sense a’ normalcy, I guess.”

“..He’ll be fine. Don’t worry, he hates the smell of dirty clothes on him more than he does wearin’ em. So just let him. Having multiples of the same stuff usually helps, too.” 

Maybe that’s a reason why he likes wearing suits a lot.

“And.. lords know you got worse than him on yer crew.”

Chopper—..is held accountable by patient confidentiality—But currently, that patient is a child.

He’s a little confused, how does he go about this? 

The injuries and scarring were evident, Chopper’s not surprised most of the crew is at least aware of them. Years of abuse, broken bones, bruising, and malnutrition—Neglect. So much neglect. So many surgical scars, too—needles, all over his inner elbows—

Don’t.. you have to open me up?

Chopper still wants to cry at that. He squeezes Zoro’s head a little tighter, sniffling. The little boy had vivisections. Countless, by the looks of it—

All this time, and Sanji’s traumatized by doctors. Was that why he avoided medical check ups and held off on visiting so much? How long did Chopper keep hurting him further, by not having the proper things in place? By not talking to him, or by not waiting for him to speak at his own pace — How can Chopper do better? 

He’s also worried about the effects of the de-aging on Sanji’s bones—but so far, all seemed fine. And in the end, soreness is.. a constant for Sanji, apparently. ..Yeah.

He’s glad younger Sanji is more honest and open than their Sanji—but he wishes Sanji got the chance to be able to open up at his own pace.. if he ever did—that choice should have been his and his alone.

Chopper doesn’t know what to do. 

Maybe scented candles? For trying to mask the chemical smell.. Chopper’s nose might get too overwhelmed—Flowers? Little Sanji seems to love flowers—Sanji, when he was older, also enjoyed flowers a lot. He used to see the cook collecting them and gifting them, particularly, to the ladies—that, and Chopper often can smell the scent of roses, tulips, and daisies in the Galley, he wouldn’t be surprised if Sanji kept a collection of them somewhere in there. 

..Sanji was taken by them before Wano—

Chopper has to recheck is scars and wounds, see if anything was done beforehand—If he missed anything—if he can help with anything—

..No matter what, Chopper will figure this out. He’s going to be a good doctor—Better than whatever Germa-jerks decided to harm that boy. If he ever comes across them.. he can’t say he won’t hurt them. 

 

---

 

In the afternoon, Sanji went with Miss Nami, Doctor Chopper, Mister Captain Usopp, Mister Franky, and Miss Robin to say goodbye to Miss Marigold. It was a little colder today. 

He allowed the others to slip a jacket and a pair of boots onto his person, over his jammies. And he walked with Miss Marigold fluttering by his shoulder, humming a little tune he remembered Mister Brook and Mister Franky singing.

The jacket was puffy and he was waddling a little bit with the boots, trying to get used to how to move with them on. He was okay with wearing them, though—the cold is a regular, horrible friend of Sanji’s. It won’t ever leave his bones. Each gust of it, no matter how small, usually clawed at him. Miss Robin was walking beside him, Doctor Chopper at his other side. 

Miss Marigold tweeted and tittered along with Doctor Chopper’s conversation, Doctor Chopper sometimes turning to him to ask yes or no questions that were apart of the conversation—and he happily participated that way. He didn’t speak much—only nodding and shaking his head. his brain felt all fuzzy, and he just knew he didn’t want to leave Miss Robin’s side. 

He’s sad to say bye to Miss Marigold, but unlike the flowers—Miss Marigold needs to be with her home. 

..Sanji faintly yearns for something like that. A home he needs to be with—A home that needs him.

The feeling—it hurts his chest.  

 

Struggling against a yawn, they finally reached the little pathway they met Miss Marigold in. Sanji held his hands out when she flew up to him, and she settled down into his palms once more.

He rubbed his cheek gently against the top of her head, she reciprocated. He whispered softly, “Merci, petite oiseau. C'était un plaisir de passer du temps avec vous.” 

“Bonne journée, mon amie.” Sanji straightened back up, holding his hands out and giving a sleepy smile, “Thank you for spending time with me.”  

He felt a hand pat his head, he didn’t know who’s, because he focused on Miss Marigold. 

She fluttered her wings, flying up and chirping. 

“She—she says thank you, too.” Doctor Chopper spoke, wiping at his eye. 

With a small flutter of light, Miss Marigold flew back into the forest, and Sanji waved. 

 

---

 

He felt extra sleepy for some reason he didn’t know on their way back from the forest. His steps slowed, but he tried really hard to keep up with the rest of the group. Miss Robin offered to carry him—as did Mister Franky and Miss Nami, but he shook his head. He didn’t want to make them carry him—he felt so heavy.

Sanji didn’t want to make them carry something heavy.

”Let me pick you up, bud, okay?” Mister Captain Usopp kept trailing beside him and Miss Robin. 

Miss Robin gave a small, nearly imperceptible frown—and Sanji inched closer to her just a little bit. 

She blinked, and her usually hidden expression softened noticeably. She knelt beside Sanji, patting his back with a bright smile, “Go to Usopp, okay?” 

Sanji blearily blinked, and nodded, padding over to Mister Captain Usopp. 

The sniper gave a grin, “I’m gonna pick you up now, is that okay?”

He nodded, his head feeling a lot heavier, too. 

Mister Captian Usopp easily lifted the blond child into his arms, holding him close. 

“Thanks, bud..”

Sanji snuggled into his shoulder, promptly falling asleep. 

 

 

He swears.. he hears something. He’s sleeping though—so it’s confusing.

Usually he hears disappointed grunts, cruel laughter, — Anything that was not warm or comforting. But this? 

A soft, whispering lullaby of a voice. 

Thank you. 

You and your crew’s kindness will not be forgotten.

 

---

 

Sanji stayed asleep for quite some time in Usopp’s arms.

Yesterday.. was a lot.

Robin hadn’t mind the little cook following her around — a silent little companion, padding beside her like a duckling. It was quite adorable — But saddening, as well. 

She’ll.. happily provide whatever source of comfort she can for their crewmate—She’s glad she even gets the chance to. A familiar ache in her chest, though, at how lost and trapped the cook often appears, never fails to make itself present. Robin wished, only, that their Sanji, the Sanji they knew — the Sanji that knew them, knew the lengths they’d all go for him. 

It wasn’t lost on her, the way Usopp had to word his request almost like an order to get the kid to let them pick him up. It wasn’t lost on her, the way the little cook quickly spotted her dissatisfaction—But the true reason at it, completely lost on him. 

She knew. The cook worked with things better if they were direct, blunt, or demanding. Them having to order Sanji to let them help him.. still didn’t sit right with her. If it worked.. it worked.

Hopefully, this experience truly served as a great learning one into the mind of their Nakama — into how to read him, and properly care for his needs as he does for them.

 

---

 

When they got to the Galley for dinner — Jinbe and Zoro working on making sandwiches and rice, — was when Sanji began to stir. 

His nose wrinkled, and he shifted to hide his face into their Sniper’s shoulder. “W..sh.. r…s..”

”What was that, bud?”

”Wash th’ rice..” Sanji huffed out, a little grumbly from the assault of horridly-cooked-rice smell. 

Zoro choked. “Oi! I know how to cook rice just fine!”

”Stupid.” 

Zoro bristled, “Sh—“

He looked like a constipated tomato, struggling to not curse or be too mean or rude to a literal kid. Usopp would’ve bursted out laughing had he no fear nor a child in his arm.

”I’m not stupid.” Zoro settled on with a pout. “The rice is cooked just fine, brat!” 

“Wado said you are stupid..”

Wado? Zoro seemed to sputter, everyone else looked and raised their brows—except for Luffy. 

“You—-Wado talked to you?” 

“mmhm.. sh’ said you.. jus look scary an’ you’re stupi’an’ squishy inside.” 

“….” Zoro stared. “Wash the damn rice.”

He handed the bowl of rice over to Jinbe, and stalked out the room—not before snagging up his swords, and asking Usopp for Sanji—“We gotta chat.” 

Usopp, not feeling safe leaving their cook alone with an off-put Zoro, just scrambled after the man. 

 

---

 

Here Zoro was, sitting with his legs crossed at the ankles, hands on his knees, glaring down at his swords, and a half-asleep and drowsy child version of their shitty cook before him.

Usopp, helping Sanji sit up, sitting beside him, and looking like he was about to pass out any second.

The swordsman glared at his swords. Then, asking the kid, “Who speaks to you.“

Sanji blinked up at him, rubbing at his other eye. “Wado..? Not so much.. jus’ that one time, with the.. She—“

The kid flinched, remembering what happened that one time, and sat up straighter, pulling his knees to his chest.

He played with the blades of grass at his feet, looking back down. “Um.. sorry, I—don’t think it’s right I u-used your sword, mister Zoro. I won’t do so again. An’ I can take care of them if y-you’d like me too. I-I know how.”

“Does Kitetsu speak to you?”

”H’ just looks hungry all the time..” Sanji shrugged, looking away with his cheek against his knees. 

“…Enma?”

”He’s th’ sad.. distan’ guy.. Jus’ Wado spoke, wh-when I held her.” 

“Do they do anything to you?”

Zoro casted a glare toward his swords.

Sanji shook his head, “Nuh-uh.. Wado hums, sometimes, though.. like—Mister Brook.”

”Kit-ess..oo? Kitetsu—hungry guy, w-with the.. um.” Sanji struggled finding the words. “Purple smoke-thingy..”

“Once he tried to pat my head like m-miss Nami, b-but it jus’ went through. Felt weird, like air hittin’ my face..” 

“..Nothing to harm you?”

”They listen to you..?” 

“….What?”

”Th-they won’ try to harm me unless you wan’ ’em too.” Sanji shrugged, “Sometimes th-they’re mean and.. um.. b-bratty? But they listen.”

”..Bud, do you see anything else?” Usopp hesitated, but eventually asked.

”Miss sheep guy.. sometimes, ‘round the ship..” 

“…Merry?”

Sanji mumbled, “Floatin’ out in the water, or underneath.. so.. can’t really talk.”

”An’—And Mister Brook h-has uh..” He waved a hand up and wiggled it sluggishly, “A wiggly guy sometimes.. when—when he get’s.. I-I think maybe homesick, or sad.. the wiggle guy i-is light green or b-blue.. Kinda looks like ‘im..” 

“That why you like sitting with him..?” 

Sanji shrugged, but nodded. “H-he does it when not okay.. wh-when sitting with him, keeps him grounded.. a-an’ wiggly guy doesn’t look so lost..” 

“Plus, h-he remind’ me a lil’ o-of.. um..” 

”Your mom..?” Usopp frowned.

Sanji nodded. 

“I’m sorry. I d-did something wrong..?” 

“N—no, kid—you didn’t. Just—I..” Zoro scratched the back if his head, “I got scared, when you said she spoke to you. I had to make sure you weren’t gettin’ hurt or anythin.”

”..Why?” Sanji’s little swirled brow furrowed.

”What do you mean ‘Why?’?”

”Um.” Sanji shuffled his feet further against his body, looking around—anywhere but Zoro or Usopp. “Make sure ‘m not hurt..?”

“Father doesn’.. like doin’ that. ‘m weak, so I a-always get hurt. It’s fine.” It’s normal. “P-people don’t usually react a-as much as you guys..”

People, being a family with stunted emotions save for anything but disappointment, rage, and sadism. 

The kid spoke like he deserved to get hurt. Like it was only right to.

”Oh, bud..” Usopp’s fingers twitched, as though he needed to do something—anything—but he couldn’t figure out what.

Zoro.. stared. Okay. 

Okay. 

..Goddamnit. Fuck. How the hell is he supposed to react to that—?

When they were with Chop’ and the kid during the initial checkup, he remembers how his captain cracked the galley’s table with his clenched fists. He understands, all to well, and likely would do the same, had his hands not been occupied with his blades and his arm — his teeth, grinding against themselves.

Sanji’s always been a weird, insecure, and prickly asshole. Now— He’s been here, as a child, revealing things that he normally never would dare to.

Father didn’t want people who came down there to recognize me.

She—she always wanted a garden, b-but father didn’t find them worth it.

I should’ve been better, I’m sorry—

I’m sorry, I acted w-without knowing what y-you wanted.

please, tell me what t-to do.

I’not.. Not s’posed to be here—M’Sorry—

Guards have to unlock the mouth piece, first, and s-sometimes they forget.

I don’t—I-I don’t want p-people to be h-hurt.

..There’s going to be a lot to go over, once the shit-cook’s back to his current self. 

“Look, kid..” 

The brat startled, eyes fixating quickly on Zoro. 

“..We care about you, that’s why.”

“It’s as simple as that.” He placed a big hand right atop Sanji’s head, tussling a bit of those soft blond strands. 

The boy flinched, but stayed still. 

Zoro remembers how the boy described the helmet, the way he was locked up, like it was something people just did—to children—to seven year olds—like he deserved being down there. 

How stiff the kid’s posture was, even in front of Chopper, of all people. How scared he was. Reluctant, to acknowledge his own discomfort or the horrific people who treated him so wrong.

“Plus, to have survive all that shit you went through.. and still be here..?” Zoro gave a small snort at the small offended, confused face at the word ‘shit,’ “You’re one of the strongest people I know.” 

That expression quickly shifted into one of surprise rather than offense, confusion still evident. 

To still, after all that, not wish harm upon anyone? To still choose to be kind..?

“You are one of the strongest people I know.” He repeated, and then, removed his hand— Zoro felt his cheeks growing warm at the bewildered stare of Usopp, and coughed into his fist, “Don’t make me repeat it. I don’t say things I don’t mean.” 

And Sanji just stared. 

“You r-really are stupid..” 

Zoro flinched, “Oi!” 

And the little boy bursted into fits of giggles.

Sanji wiped at his eyes, his small frame wobbling due to the force of his laughter. 

And they stared.

And Zoro lunged forwards—Grabbing at the brat and tickling the absolute hell out of him. The little cook let out a loud squeal. He fell backwards and kicked at the swordsman with smaller feet that were still just as, if not, even more ticklish. 

That, perhaps, was the loudest they’ve ever heard their little cook freely be—And Zoro’s so fucking happy.

Chapter 10: Fluffy Hair, Soft Clothes, and Big Hugs!

Summary:

They’re still working through some things, but they’re getting there!

Notes:

Thank you all so much, I didn’t expect to get such attention from this. It’s been heavily-self-indulgent and I haven’t been proofreading well 💔 yet, still, thank you!!
I’m glad so many enjoy this so far :D!!

It’s gonna take quite a bit to continue, I have a lot of ideas and am struggling with how to format or position them in a nice way. This chapter, even, may be changed, but it’s here!! Thank you, and sorry for the wait + the more slow updates to come.

Anything that I should be aware of, please feel free to lmk!!

After they parted ways with Miss Marigold, they undocked the ship and set sail once again. With the marines having attacked them previously, they had to get going sooner than later. 

Sanji watched the island move further and further in the distance, little hands gripping onto the ship’s railing. 

The rocking of the water was comforting, as the ship moved, bobbing across the sea. 

Mister Brook came to sit besides him, and Sanji subconsciously leaned toward the Musician. 

Like routine, the skeleton placed a hand atop the blond head, gentle fingers running through his hair. 

“She still trusted me.” Sanji found himself mumbling. The hand on his head stilling just a bit. 

“Marigold?” 

Sanji nodded. 

“Momma said they can see through people. They know th’ stuff we try an’ hide..”

“Mm.. I suppose they do. They can sense when there is danger, and when there is not.” Brook hummed solemnly, “Your mother is quite wise.”

“..Does it ever get better?” 

“Pardon?”

”The.. hurt..?”

”..It gets easier.”

The hand continued to pat his head once again. 

“The blood on your hands does not make you unworthy, young cook.”

 

Captain Luffy bounded up to the rail, watching the sea along with them. Mister Brook’s hand returned to his side, humming a small tune as he sat with Sanji.

“Was that fun?” Captain Luffy turned to Sanji and asked with an all-too-big grin.

”Huh?” 

“The island!”

Sanji looked at Sunny’s Captain, and then back to the rapidly shrinking island, and smiled, too. “Uhuh!”

”B-bunnies are nice.. an’ Mister Captain Usopp told me a-alll about the plants they.. uhm.. had at the..? M-mark-set? Market?”

He looked over at Mister Brook — the Skeleton nodded, likely giving a grin- had he any skin. Yoho.

“Market!” Sanji beamed, turning back to the Captain.

”Uhuh! Usopp’s smart.” Captain Luffy nodded. “I liked the meat.” 

“You always like meat.” 

“Yup!” Luffy laughed, patting Sanji’s head. “Neh, let’s see what’s being cooked today!”

”Okay!”

Both of them excited for similar reasons—one, because he loves eating—the other, because cooking is everything. 

 

---

 

Miss Nami let Sanji mold rice balls as she stirred a pot of pasta—Mister Zoro having picked him up, placing him on the counter, and working with him on the rice. 

Sanji’s hands were a bit too small to shape them properly.. he was a little frustrated at that—but he worked really hard to get that triangle shape right! 

He held one up to Mister Zoro for judgement, the swordsman struggling just as much as—if not, even more than—Sanji to properly get the shape.

Mister Zoro gave a firm nod. “We can give that one to Robin if you want.” 

Sanji giddily smiled, gently placing the rice ball down on the plate of finished ones.

Doctor Chopper and Mister Captain Usopp were sat at the table, fending off Captain Luffy as the first lines of defense for the unfinished meal. 

The reindeer glanced up at the counter, and asked, “Sanji?”

”Uhuh?”

”W-When is your birthday?”

..Birthday?

The new ball of rice in his hands crumbled, and he tensed up. “Um.. I—I..”

”Don’t tell me you don’t know..?” Miss Nami glanced over, giving a raised brow. 

Sanji shrinked a bit. “N-no.. I—“

He cut himself off, squirming a bit and pulling his legs up to his chest—Mister Zoro placed a rice ball down, unfinished, and put his hands out for the ruins of a mess now in Sanji’s hands. 

“S-sorry.” Sanji followed Mister Zoro’s example, placing the mess down carefully, and shrugging. “Um.”

He remembers, usually, on his birthday—that meant running, hiding, and being left watching as his brothers were celebrated. Another year gone without so much as the smallest improvement. His birthday meant hurt, it meant disappointment. Mom died just before his seventh, and when he turned eight—it was celebrated by him being declared dead. Forgotten, in the dungeon cell— All alone. Only impossible dreams of stereotypical fairytale princes and princesses kept as a lifeline.

Why did his chest feel tight? 

When did he start shaking?

His birthday meant fear. Isolation.

Why can’t he properly make out what anyone is saying, or any of the noises happening around them, right now? 

Did.. did they want to get rid of him? Is that why they want to know?

Sanji overstayed his welcome, he did—didn’t he? Was he supposed to stay on the island with Miss Marigold? Did he make them upset—? 

“Kid—“ 

He flinched, “S-sorry, ‘m sorry—“

Zoro grabbed ahold of his hands—Sanji flinched. 

When did he bring them up to his head—? When did he start pulling on his hair—? Mister Zoro said not to do that— And he did it anyway—

“What a failure.” Echoed. Sneers, cruel laughs, flat tones—

“P-please, don’t—“ Don’t lock me up—

Does he have the right to even ask? He shouldn’t—He shouldn’t be so selfish, he knows he’s been given so much more than he deserves yet he’s—

So scared. He.. He knows he can never make it up to any of them, after all their kindness, and he still has the gall to even dare to beg for more from them.

It’d have been better for everyone if he had just stayed locked up—or, if he had just never been born in the—

“Bud, bud—look at me.”

Sanji’s eyes shot to Mister Captain Usopp. When did they get so unfocused?

”I—“

”Breath.” 

He did.

”That’s right, good.. keep going.”

Shakily, weakly, but he did.

”Just follow my breathing, okay, bud?”

Deep inhale. Slow exhale. Deep inhale, slow exhale—Breath in deeply, breath out slowly.

“Good.. g-good. Okay. You’re doing good.”

Tears slipped out from Sanji’s watery eyes. Was he really doing good? Would he be like this if he was..?

”Sanji.“

Sanji turned to look toward Mister Zoro again—his gaze was met with a very big, extremely fluffy looking sheep in the swordsman’s hands. 

Huh?

Mister Zoro’s face was a bit red, and he pushed the sheep further towards Sanji. “Take it.”

Sanji blinked. 

“W-what is it?”

”A—It’s a plushie. You hug it.” Mister Zoro huffed. ”Take it. It’s yours.” 

“Wh..why..?” 

“I wanted to give it to you. That’s why.” 

“…B-but..”

”I wanted you to have something nice. If you don’t like it—“ 

“No— I—-“

”You deserve nice things.”

Sanji flinched. Mister Captain Usopp grabbed the stuffed sheep, having to use both hands—and placed it closer to Sanji’s reach. 

It was huge.

It looked so soft.

He wanted to hold it, believe what Mister Zoro said—

But, did he really deserve that? 

All he’d do is get it all messy and worn—hurt—rendered irreversibly useless where it would’ve been able to have a better life with any other person—

“I—I can’t, I’m not—“ Sanji tugged at his hair. Shaking his head, screwing his drenched eyes shut.

Guilt ate away at his insides as he realized Mister Zoro went through the trouble of getting this for him. Mister Captain Usopp, helping—That’s why they stopped at that shop the other day—But that day, Sanji hurt people—Sanji dirtied the ship—Sanji had somehow got these people to worry over him—

”I’m bad.” 

I’m bad, I’m bad, I’m bad—I’m the reason why mom’s gone—I’m the reason why father is so angry—I’m the reason why my brothers are so violent—-I’m the reason why sister hurts—

His brothers used to be cruel to the servants just because Sanji reacted in an upset manner.

His sister has to put on a face and act because Sanji is too weak and he puts her in danger. 

Father pushes all of his siblings more because they have to make up for Sanji. For lacking success.

Mother had to constantly put up with Sanji.

He wouldn’t be surprised if he only made her last days worse. 

Sanji can’t deserve this—Sanji doesn’t deserve to want this—The Thousand Sunny, the kind spirits, the warm touches—The safety, the unconditional acceptance—

The trust. The trust to care for such delicate flowers, the trust to be worth it, the trust to not mess anything up so horribly just by existing—

I’m bad.

 

---

 

Those words struck a chord deep inside Zoro.

He started to panic once he lost sign of their cook’s haki—but he was right there. But.. those words. 

I’m bad.

Zoro tried being as blunt and straightforwards as he could, like the chef guy said to be—but the kid.. just—

The kid thought that.. they all had to be convinced—warned, that he wasn’t.. worth it. 

I’m bad. He couldn’t possibly deserve anything because he was.. Bad. 

Those two, simple words held so much.

Like the crew was under some kind of spell—or there was some kind of misunderstanding, or secret they all didn’t know—That Sanji had to warn them. Sanji had to convince them, of something that he believed was true—because they had been wrong about him.

“You’re doing good.”

Sanji had looked like he was going to truly break down at that—he had begun shaking his head rapidly from side to side, just after regulating his breathing—because apparently it was so wrong. “Doing good” and Sanji being the subject of that quote was impossible. 

All because.. because of his birthday..? 

Zoro didn’t really think about his own birthday much. It was just another day to him—but the cook? 

The cook.. Sanji—he always knew everyone’s birthdays, and always made sure to make the day especially special for which crew member’s date of birth it was. Even Zoro’s. Despite how often the two argue, bicker, and just.. fight.

Sanji cherished everyone so much—and he especially loved to ensure they all knew that their having-been-brought-into-this-world was deeply appreciated. And even Zoro saw that.

What did they ever do for Sanji’s birthday..? 

Chopper asked for a reason. He didn’t have Sanji’s date of birth in his medical records. Luffy said that Zeff told him it was November Thirtieth—But Nami felt that was just.. wrong. “Sanji always does this one thing every year on the same day in the same way—And it’s not in November.” 

He had hoped—they all had hoped—that little Sanji would’ve been able to tell them. But.. 

I’m bad. 

Zoro couldn’t take it anymore. He took mind of the stuffed toy at the other side of their cook and wrapped him in a firm hug. 

The kid froze. Zoro knew that would happen—but still— It felt like a blade was twisting deeper and cruelly into his heart.

Sanji kept sobbing. His hands still gripped onto his hair—and he cried, and cried, and cried—, shaking, in Zoro’s hold. 

A bad person wouldn’t have cried at the thought of being bad. 

A monster wouldn’t have cried at the thought of hurting those who tried to hurt him—those who had hurt him.

A child shouldn’t have to cry over the thought of existing—His nakama should never have to doubt their place—their worth—

“Who was it that made sure I washed the rice, so it could be safer for the crew to eat?”

Sanji tensed, furrowing his brows. Zoro kept his hold firm, the sobs wracking through the boy only halting for a moment. Sputters and sniffles replacing them there.

”Who took care of Wado, even without knowing her, or me, all that well? Only knowing that she was important to me, without me having said anything?”

Zoro continued to ask. 

“Who sits by Brook, when he doesn’t have to, just to help the shitty skeleton stay grounded in the moment — when no one else can even tell he needs?”

Sanji seemed to choke on his own tears.

”Who made sure that the flowers he took back kept their roots so they could still live?” 

Zoro breathed. Deep, steadily, refusing to let go. Refusing to let this go.

“Who sneaks Chopper little candies from the galley just to keep the little Doctor happy and energized—Despite being scared shitless of doctors?”

The kid huffed, voice cracking, “D-doctor Ch-chopper is Chopper.” 

“And you are you.” 

Zoro practically growled. “And you—You deserve to be loved.”

”So stop and accept it. That’s all you have to do.”

“If we didn’t want you here, you would not be here. That’s that. If you were truly so bad, we would not want you here.”

Zoro squeezed the little cook in his arms. “And, where are you?”

Sanji sniffled. 

“Where are you?”

”H-here.”

”Where are you.”

Sanji let out sobs, curling against Zoro. “Here.”

”Why is that?”

”Y-you want..—?“ He choked, “You want me..”

“We want you. You’re ours. You’re not getting away that easily, little shit.” 

Sanji let out a choked sob, laughing, “Shit.”

”Yeah, shit.” 

 

 

 

Nami hit Zoro on the back of the head, “Stop teaching him how to curse.”

 

The tremble in her voice betrayed her tough demeanor—They were all shaken up, which was not uncommon when their little cook couldn’t get it through his thick skull that he didn’t need to be anything. He was loved, and that was that. 

Luffy had only stared, trust fully placed in their swordsman. He held onto Chopper, providing what comfort of his own he could, and his face broke into a huge grin.

He jumped up, Chopper in one arm, and pulled both Usopp and Nami into a big hug with Zoro and Sanji in the middle. Rubbery arms stretching so long and big, wrapping firmly around the crew that’s been with him since the beginning. He would never let them go, if he could. 

Despite the awkward positioning, especially because of the kitchen counter—but Luffy paid that no mind. He loves his crew, everyone outside the galley included. But right now, he remembers exactly why he picked each of them here.

”We’re Nakama! We should throw a party!” 

“We don’t have the—!”

”Party! Party! Party!”

”We gotta celebrate Sanji!”

With Chopper and Usopp’s sobbing chants, Luffy’s admission for why he wanted to celebrate, and Zoro’s quiet chuckling—Nami let out a deep sigh, and nodded. 

“Fine. We’ll see what we can do.”

The boy in question, squished in the middle, blinked up when Nami gave his head a pat, managing to squeeze through her arm free in order to do so.

Tears and snot still dribbled down his little face, eyes drippy and wet—Hair, near the ends a little damp, all around ruffled and fuzzy. Nami couldn’t help the fondness in her expression, trying to pet their cook’s hair back in place, “You have a favorite desert?” 

Sanji blinked, shaking his head. 

“Wanna help bake something, anyways?”

The blue eye brightened immediately, nodding fervently where his cheek was squished against Zoro’s arm and chest.

Nami felt her smile growing, “Good.”  

 

---

 

Sanji was still far too hesitant for anyone’s liking. 

But—eventually, he allowed himself the pure bliss of enjoying the sweet, wonderful gift given to him by their super-huge-and-utterly-terrifying swordsman who supposedly absolutely hates their cook. 

Robin found herself smiling at the boy, who was barely able to wrap himself around the plush sheep.

Not unlike Marigold, he asked the sheep for a name—then after, quickly realizing it was a non-sentient being that didn’t talk, he looked to the one who gave it to him. Shuffling a little on awkward feet, he tugged at Zoro’s sleeve to ask.

The swordsman blinked—if he didn’t look out of his element before,  he definitely did now. “Uh.”

”You give ‘im one.” He shrugged, saying slowly.

When Robin asked the little cook about his desire to know names—he messed with the ends of the sleeves he wore, looking firmly at his feet. 

“Had friends whose names I didn’ know.. an’ they got hurt.” he shrugged a little, “Never saw them again.” 

Perhaps that explains, as well, Sanji’s tendency to refer to people or other animals with nicknames.. Robin breathed slowly, ruffling the fluffy blonde hair gently—trying to fend off the melancholy that threatened to swallow her whole. 

Sanji’s warm mumbling, akin to a purr, from her own touch was more than enough to fight such a foul and stubborn foe.

Donned in clothes made by their resident sniper and navigator, snuggled with the sheep plushie now named “Miss Daisy,” Robin — not for the first time — couldn’t make sense of why anyone would dare stomp down this dear boy’s fire. 

And she knew, full well, that the crew shared that sentiment.

Whenever their cook comes back to them—changes will be made. It was clear, from the actions he took that lead them here, the sentiments the boy expressed had been carried with Sanji throughout the years.

They’ll help their cook, however they can.

Notes:

This chapter was originally titled “Sanji and Smooth Sailing,” and “Herding the rest of the runaway sheep! (Or, the attempts to understand the mind of a child)”

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of i fixated on a character and now i’m making it everyone’s problem