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. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
“Are you sure your dad won’t mind me being here?”
Jungkook looks at Yoongi like he is stupid, while slipping off his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack near the front door. “Yeah, of course. Besides, why would he care? He knows we are working on a project together.”
Yoongi nods and looks around the spacious living room of the Park home. “Okay, cool. Just wanted to make sure we wouldn’t be in the way or anything.”
At nineteen years old, and in his second year at Seoul National University, Min Yoongi hadn’t exactly been thrilled with being paired with a first-year student for a group project in one of his music composition classes. That all changed once he got to know the eighteen-year-old Park-Jeon Jungkook. The younger man is kind and funny and so fucking talented. Once he heard Jungkook sing, Yoongi quickly changed his tune, pun very much intended, and was ecstatic at being paired with the freshman. If Yoongi didn’t consider himself straight, he probably would have dropped to his knees and actually sucked Jungkook’s dick. As it was, Yoongi was practically foaming at the mouth at the younger’s insane talent.
They had been working in the private study rooms at the university library for the past couple of weeks but Yoongi was getting tired of lugging his guitar around all day, never having enough time to run to his dorm before their afternoon meetings. So sue him, he can be a little lazy. Unfortunately, Yoongi lives with two very loud, very rowdy guys who have no idea what privacy is so his dorm room was not a viable option. When he mentioned the dilemma, Jungkook had been happy to invite him over to his dad’s home. He had explained that his dad is a successful businessman and there was plenty of room in his three bedroom apartment. Three bedrooms?! Yoongi had been flabbergasted when Jungkook explained the third bedroom had been turned into a sound-proof studio for him once he had committed to studying performance and composition at SNU.
“Are you hungry? I’m starving. Let’s go raid the fridge. I think my dad said he was making us some snacks.” Jungkook begins to walk towards what Yoongi can only assume is the kitchen.
“Yeah, okay. I could eat. Especially something besides cheap ramen.” Yoongi chuckles as he follows behind the younger man. He wishes he was joking but being a broke university student who practically lives off bargain basement ramen is really no joking matter.
He comes to a halt at the doorway when he hears Jungkook exclaim “Appa!” and finds his gaze landing on the most beautiful person he has ever seen. Standing at the marble island dominating the center of the kitchen, stands Jungkook’s father hastily rolling what appears to be kimbap. Clearly flustered, the older man glances up and offers a warm smile to Jungkook before his gaze settles on Yoongi.
“Hello, Yoongi-ssi. I’m Jungkook’s father, Park Jimin. I apologize the snacks aren’t ready yet, I got held up at work longer than I had hoped to be.” The older man, Jimin, turns to Jungkook. “Kookie, will you help me slice the kimbap?”
As Jungkook gets to work, Yoongi finds himself still standing in the doorway, just staring. It is evident Jimin has just come from his workplace, a suit jacket slung over the back of a barstool nearby, the sleeves of his white button-up shirt rolled up to expose the tanned skin of his forearms. When Jimin bends over to grab something from a low cabinet, Yoongi is presented with the sight of tight, tailored slacks stretched taut over a round, juicy ass. Juicy?! Since when are guys’ asses juicy?
For nineteen years, Yoongi has been pretty certain he is straight, granted, he has never really had a reason to test that theory before this very moment. But in the presence of Park Jimin, that theory is being sorely put to the test as Yoongi continues to take in the sight of the older man before him. Settling on Jimin’s face, Yoongi is struck with one recurring thought. Park Jimin is absolutely gorgeous.
Soft looking blonde hair, appearing like honey compared to Yoongi’s own cool-toned icy blonde. The honey strands are swept off Jimin’s forehead as though he has continuously run his hand through it. A golden face highlighted with faint wrinkles around deep brown eyes that seem to tell the story of a man who embraces laughter and happiness, even though he isn’t laughing right now. Full, smooth cheeks and the cutest little pert nose Yoongi has ever seen. And then there are Jimin’s lips. Pink, plump, and sporting the most adorable pout as he struggles to roll more kimbap.
The sight is enough to finally pull Yoongi from his thoughts and he steps towards the island. “Mr. Park, would you like some help? I can roll kimbap in my sleep. My parents have a small restaurant back in Daegu.”
Jimin’s face lights up with a smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges, just proving that Yoongi was right about those faint wrinkles he noticed before. “Call me hyung! Mr. Park is my father. Are you sure you don’t mind helping, Yoongi-ssi? I must admit I am a bit of a disaster in the kitchen.” The older man releases what sounds like a small self-deprecating laugh as he moves to make way for Yoongi to take over.
“Of course, Jimin-hyung.” Yoongi can’t help the blush that creeps into his cheeks at the informal way he is allowed to address the older man. “I would love to help. Seems only fair since you are allowing us to use Jungkook’s home studio for our project.” Yoongi rolls up the sleeves of his long-sleeved t-shirt and begins to focus on the kimbap.
“Oh, it’s not a problem! I’m glad he is getting to use it already.” Jimin wipes his hands on a kitchen towel and addresses Jungkook. “Looks like you boys don’t really need my help here. I am going to take a shower and wash the corporate tyranny off.”
Yoongi smirks at Jimin’s choice of words as he places the finishing touches on the kimbap. Within a few minutes, the boys are sitting at the dining table and enjoying the fruits of their labor discussing their project and how they want to proceed now that they have access to a working studio. Offering to wash the dishes, Yoongi stays behind in the kitchen as Jungkook makes his way to the home studio, letting Yoongi know which room to come to when he is done with cleaning up.
Making his way down the hallway, Yoongi startles as a door to his right suddenly opens but it isn’t Jungkook looking for him. No. Standing in the doorway, to what Yoongi now knows is a bathroom, is Park Jimin. In a towel. Fuck, he has a tattoo! Yoongi didn’t think Jimin could get any more attractive but apparently the universe thought it needed to prove him wrong, because Jimin in a low-slung towel, ribcage tattoo on full display is a whole different level of attractive.
“Oh, Yoongi-yah! I’m sorry! I thought you were already in the studio with Jungkook.” Jimin actually looks sheepish, as though he is embarrassed to be seen by the younger man in such a state of undress.
“I like your tattoo!” Yoongi cringes as he hears his words settle between them. Great, you perv! Now he knows you were looking at his body!
Jimin’s face lights up, though the blush is still prominent on his cheeks, in fact, it appears to be getting brighter. “Oh, thanks. I’ve got a few actually. Um, I should get dressed. Let me know if you need anything, okay, Yoongi-yah?”
Yoongi just nods dumbly and walks towards the end of the hall. Opening the door, he finds Jungkook sitting in a chair at a desk littered with a computer and state-of-the-art recording equipment. This is enough to pull him from his gay panic. “Holy shit! Is your dad loaded?”
Jungkook laughs and shrugs his shoulders. “Not really. He just works really hard and makes decent money and he likes to spend that money on me. I’m not gonna complain.”
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
A few days later, Yoongi and Jungkook find themselves back in Jungkook’s home studio. Yoongi is jotting down thoughts in his worn notebook as Jungkook saves the progress they have made on the melody so far. Every word Yoongi has written so far has something to do with the confusion and turmoil that has been churning inside himself for the last few days.
He has never had such sexual thoughts about a man before and he isn’t sure what he should do about all of said thoughts. He tried talking to his roommates, separately of course, because Yoongi couldn’t handle their combined drama at the same time. They were of no help. To be fair, though, Yoongi had been so vague that neither man really even knew what he had been asking of them. Seokjin had gotten the closest when he asked if Yoongi was dying, and if so, could he have his room since it was “nicer.” Yoongi certainly felt like he was spiraling into a slow death, but he wasn’t sure if that was from his thoughts about Jimin or from having to live through the painful conversations with Seokjin and Taehyung.
“Taking off my mask but keeping my mouth shut. I want to be wanted more than anything.” Jungkook’s words startle Yoongi. “What are these lyrics about, hyung?”
Yoongi quickly shuts his notebook and slides it into the backpack at his feet. “It’s nothing, just playing around with some stuff.” Yoongi stands up. “I need to head out. Let me know when you want to work on the song again, yeah?”
“Hyung! Why are you acting so weird?” Jungkook makes his way over to Yoongi before he can get the door open. When the younger man’s hand wraps around Yoongi’s wrist, they both realize how badly Yoongi’s hand is shaking. “Hyung? Are you okay?” The words slip out as a concerned whisper.
“What? Of course I am. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yoongi tries to pull away from Jungkook but the younger’s grip tightens and the look on his face makes it seem he has no intention of letting go until he knows for sure that Yoongi is completely okay. “Jungkook-ah. Let go, please.”
Jungkook immediately releases Yoongi’s wrist and backs away, his eyes wide. “I’m sorry, hyung. I’m just worried about you, but I didn’t mean to overstep.”
Sighing, Yoongi turns to open the door but looks back over his shoulder before walking out. “It’s fine. I just need to get home, okay?”
Yoongi practically speedwalks down the hallway, head bowed, praying that Jimin hasn’t made it home yet. When he finally makes it out the front door, he lets out the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. Maybe if he was in a different mindset, he would have wished to run into Park Jimin, but not today. Not after being so shaken from his younger friend reading from his lyrics notebook.
On the bus ride to his dorm, Yoongi takes the time to think about his visceral reaction to Jungkook reading what he had written on that page. They weren’t even his words, not really. He had jotted them down after reading through some poetry of Frank O’Hara. Besides, deep down, Yoongi knows the younger man wasn’t trying to pry or snoop. They were working on a song that they had both agreed to write lyrics for, it was expected, really. And yet, having someone else be privy to his spiraling thoughts affected Yoongi in a way he wasn’t prepared for.
He figures it was so hard to handle because he still doesn’t know how he truly feels himself. Maybe it is silly to even be this wound up over one interaction, one reaction, to a man. But to Yoongi, Park Jimin isn’t just a man. He’s the first man, no- person, who has ever stirred such feelings of desire within him. Because even though Yoongi has always claimed to be straight, he had never even so much as kissed a girl.
Yoongi has never looked at a woman and felt the way he felt in that hallway with Park Jimin. Breathless, warm, rosy blush blanketing his cheeks, and a tight, tingling in his gut. He may be a virgin, but he isn’t clueless. He knows enough to know those are some of the tell-tale signs of desire. So maybe that is all the answer he really needs. Maybe his attraction to Jimin doesn’t warrant some big crisis, maybe it just is what it is.
Park Jimin is sexy as fuck and Yoongi is pretty sure he wants to have his first kiss with the older man.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
Sexuality crisis averted, now Yoongi’s main issue is really two issues, actually. Does Jimin like men too? And would pursuing Jimin ruin his budding friendship with Jungkook? As much as Yoongi had lamented being paired with the first year student, he has really come to care for Jungkook in the six weeks that he has known him.
Granted, that isn’t like some lifelong friendship, but Yoongi still doesn’t want to hurt Jungkook in any way. Though, if Jimin isn’t gay, or bisexual at least, he doesn’t really have to worry about Jungkook’s reaction. But how does he go about obtaining this information? Luckily, fate seems to be on his side and gives him the opportunity to find out, or at least ask.
The next time Yoongi goes to Jungkook’s home to work in the younger’s studio, he finds out that Jungkook has plans with someone and has to cut their session short. No big deal to Yoongi, they have made amazing progress on their project and are practically almost done. When Jungkook realizes he is running late, he rushes out of the apartment, yelling goodbye to his father and telling Yoongi he will catch him later, leaving Yoongi standing in the living room staring at the closed door. That’s when fate decides to step in, and Jimin appears in the doorway to the kitchen.
“Oh, Yoongi-yah. I didn’t know you were still here.” Jimin smiles as he walks towards Yoongi.
“Uh, yeah. The kid just flew out of here before I could even get my shoes on. I don’t want to bother you, so I will just get going?” Yoongi doesn’t know why he phrases that as a question. Of course, he should just go. Obviously, Jimin doesn’t want to spend his Friday night with Yoongi, a second-year university student. Before Yoongi can make it to the shoe rack by the front door, Jimin’s words stop him in his tracks.
“Don’t be silly, Yoongi-yah! You’re no bother. I was just about to order some takeout. You wouldn’t want to keep an old man company and join me for dinner, would you?”
How could Yoongi say no? Not that he ever even thought of declining such a generous offer. Free food with a gorgeous man that he really wants to get to know better? Yeah, he’s definitely not turning that down.
“I don’t see any old men here, but I could definitely eat. If you’re sure?”
Yoongi thinks it is best not to make it not seem like he is too eager. Though he has no experience in the matter, he is pretty sure this is how one plays hard to get. And the movies make it seem like that is the best way to snag a sexy, older man. Seems like it was the right response because Jimin giggles. The man fucking giggles. How is he so cute and so devastatingly handsome all at the same time?
“You don’t think I’m too old to be eating dinner with on a Friday night? I’m sure you have people your own age that are waiting for you or something.” Jimin makes his way towards the kitchen, the glance he throws over his shoulder at Yoongi clearly beckoning the younger man to follow him, despite his words sounding almost contrary to his actions.
Getting the unspoken message, Yoongi quickly joins Jimin at the large island in the middle of the kitchen, several take-out menus strewn across the smooth, marble surface. After a few minutes, they decide on a neighborhood Thai restaurant that delivers and Yoongi practically salivates at the thought of tasting the rich bone broth in the spicy beef noodle soup he ordered.
Once dinner is decided upon, Yoogi thinks about Jimin’s earlier words as they settle on the couch while they wait for their meals to arrive. Is he looking too deep into the older man’s comments or is this the opening he needs to make a move? Or at least put his plan into action?
“About what you said earlier, hyung… Truthfully, no, I don’t have any friends waiting for me to go out for a wild and crazy Friday night. I mean I have friends, but they know better than to try to drag me out to clubs and bars. They all call me an old man, actually, because I would rather sit at home on a Friday night with a glass of whiskey and a good album or book. Boring, I know.”
Yoongi isn’t ashamed of the truth, he just has never been one for loud crowds of people, preferring the quiet solitude of his own company most days. And there’s also nothing wrong with hoping that the truth will make Jimin see him in a different light than the typical nineteen-year-old. Hoping that it will help the older man perceive him as more mature than his peers.
Jimin’s eyes widen at Yoongi’s honest answer as he settles on the couch to better face the younger man. “I wouldn’t say your typical Friday night is boring. In fact, it sounds like heaven to me. But, I’m years and years older than you, so it’s just shocking to hear someone your age prefer the same things as me.”
Yoongi turns his body to face towards Jimin as well, basking in the comfort of their easy-going conversation. “I know you have a son around my age, but how old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” He holds his breath, hoping he hasn’t offended Jimin by asking.
“Ah, don’t look so worried, Yoongi-yah. I don’t mind sharing. I’m thirty-six. I was eighteen when Jungkook was born, the same age as he is now.” Jimin bows his head but there is a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth at the mention of his son.
Yeah, his son. Your friend! Yoongi’s mind unhelpfully supplies. It’s not like he forgot that Jimin is Jungkook’s dad, and he isn’t trying to forget because he doesn’t want to fuck things up with his new friend. It’s just that it’s easy to let that knowledge settle to the farthest recesses of his mind when it’s just him and Jimin, like it is right now. Right now, they are just two men enjoying each other’s company instead of spending the evening alone. Surely, Jungkook couldn’t find anything wrong with that logic.
“Oh, wow. I mean I assumed you were a young father, I just didn’t realize how young. How did you do it? Raise a child and still become so successful?” Yoongi gestures around the spacious living room, the understated luxury is evidence enough that Jimin is doing quite well for himself in Yoongi’s opinion.
Jimin chuckles as he follows Yoongi’s gaze around the apartment. “I can’t imagine that is a story you really want to hear. Though, maybe I should share. Maybe hearing my experience will be a lesson for you of what not to do when you’re trying to muddle your way through university.”
“Don’t think that’s going to be an issue for me.” The words just slip out of Yoongi’s mouth before he even realizes he was going to say it. He sees Jimin incline his head a little, a question apparent on his face.
“How can you be so sure? It’s not like I planned to be such a young father. You know, not all birth control is one-hundred percent eff-”
Yoongi quickly cuts Jimin off, not wanting this to turn into some fatherly sex ed talk. He could die just thinking about it. “A man can’t get another man pregnant.” Yoongi whispers. It’s not a secret but it is the first time he has said anything close to admitting his new-found sexuality out loud.
“Oh.”
Then it’s just silent. It’s a terrifying, overwhelming silence that Yoongi doesn’t know if he can handle. What if he thinks I’m disgusting now? Way to fucking go, Yoongi. You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t kick you out before the food gets here. Yoongi is panicking, he can feel the sweat beginning to dot his brow, his heart rate drastically increasing as he frantically glances around the room, as though looking for a way to escape before he can be kicked out on his ass.
“Hey. Yoongi-yah. Look at me.”
Yoongi hears Jimin’s words, but they aren’t really registering. It’s getting harder to breathe and he can feel the sting of tears pricking at the corner of his eyes, which seem to be darkening and getting hazier at the edges. It is then he realizes he's having a panic attack. A literal panic attack. It had been several years since he last had one, so this one took him by complete surprise. He’s panicking and he’s embarrassed that he’s panicking in front of Jimin, but he is suddenly pulled from his thoughts when he feels two small hands cup both of his cheeks, forcing him to make eye contact with the older man.
“There you are. Deep breaths. You’re okay. You’re safe. You’re safe here with me.”
Jimin’s calming, soothing words break open the dam of tears and Yoongi finds himself sobbing onto the older man’s shoulder while being rocked back and forth on the couch. As he takes comfort in Jimin’s embrace and the soft brushes of his hand through his hair, he finds himself whispering the same thing over and over.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Yoongi doesn’t know how much time has passed, but finally the tears have begun to ebb into little sniffles and hiccups. He knows he needs to let go of Jimin, pull back, apologize and run away to never be seen again, lest he has to face the embarrassment of this situation. But he finds he doesn’t want to let go of the older man. It’s actually Jimin who finally sits back and untangles their limbs from each other’s bodies. Yoongi takes a steadying breath, nervous for what Jimin will say now.
The doorbell rings and Yoongi feels as though he has literally been saved by the bell. He can see Jimin struggling with what he should do, so Yoongi makes the decision for him and just nods his head towards the door, letting him know he should answer it. Jimin gets up slowly and makes his way to the front door, he pays the delivery man and brings the food to the table sitting in front of the couch, before sitting back down right next to Yoongi.
“Shit timing that delivery man had. We should eat, but before we do. Could you answer a question for me?” Jimin speaks softly, slowly, as though not wanting to upset Yoongi any more than he already is. Yoongi just nods, not sure he can trust his voice just yet. It’s enough though, as Jimin asks what he has obviously been wanting to ask for a while. “Yoongi-yah, are you gay?”
There is no judgement in Jimin’s tone, and yet, Yoongi can’t help but scramble back on the couch, putting as much distance as he can between him and the older man. He can see what looks like hurt painted in Jimin’s expression but he isn’t sure. Yoongi just bows his head and curls in on himself as much as he can in his seated position on the couch and nods to let Jimin know the answer to his question.
Jimin takes a deep breath. His hand begins to reach across the cushion separating him from Yoongi, but he seems to think better of it and pulls it back to his lap. “Okay. That’s totally okay, Yoongi-yah. Is that- I was just wondering was that the first time you had ever told anyone about your sexuality?”
Once again, Yoongi nods, still not ready to speak.
“Oh. Wow. That’s so brave of you, little one. I’m honored that you would share that with me, even if you didn’t really mean to. And I’m really proud of you.”
Yoongi’s gaze shoots up to meet Jimin’s. He is shocked. Jimin’s words are so kind, so gentle. He finally finds the courage to speak. “You’re not going to kick me out?” At his own question, Yoongi can feel the tears threatening to pool again and suddenly he is wrapped up in Jimin’s warm embrace again.
“Oh, little one. Of course I’m not kicking you out.” Jimin pulls back to brush Yoongi’s hair back off his forehead, his touch so gentle, so warm. His face is bright with a tiny smile as he says, “Besides, if I kicked you out for not being straight, then I’d have to kick Kookie and myself out and we kind of like this place.” Jimin chuckles at his own joke.
Yoongi jerks back, eyes wide, tears drying up almost as quickly as they appeared. “You and Kookie? Like, neither of you are straight?” Yoongi’s heart is racing. This is definitely not how he envisioned finding out about Jimin’s sexuality, and obviously, he wishes he hadn’t had a fucking panic attack in front of the man he was hoping to make a move on, but here he is, holding his breath waiting for Jimin’s answer.
“Um, no? I just assumed you knew about Kookie. Hmm, his story isn’t mine to share but me, on the other hand. I’m bisexual. So, I just want you to know that this will always be a safe place for you, Yoongi-yah. Okay?” Jimin gives Yoongi a reassuring smile.
Never really being one to initiate skinship, Yoongi surprises even himself when he is suddenly launching his body into Jimin’s, wrapping his arms around the older man. He has been hugged and embraced more tonight than he probably has in the whole last year of his life, and if he is being honest, it is a feeling he could maybe get used to. There’s no other way to describe what he feels when he is in Jimin’s arms other than pure comfort. It seeps into his bones, warms his soul and he isn’t ready to let that feeling go just yet.
“Thank you, Jimin-hyung.” Yoongi whispers, his lips barely brushing Jimin’s neck, his face snuggly burrowed into the crook of Jimin’s shoulder and neck. “I’m sorry for melting down but I’m so glad it was with you. You have no idea how much your kindness means to me.” Despite the serious nature of the conversation, Yoongi can’t help himself when he nuzzles into the crook of Jimin’s neck, inhaling the spicy scent of the older man’s cologne. “Smell so good.”
Yoongi tenses in Jimin’s arms when he realizes he actually spoke his thoughts out loud. Oh god. Why are you such a fuck up, Yoongi? Yoongi is silently berating himself, praying that Jimin doesn’t suddenly realize what a perv Yoongi has apparently become when it comes to the older man. When he hears Jimin let out a little chuckle, a little bit of the tension eases from his body.
“You don’t have to thank me for being kind, Yoongi-yah.” Jimin chuckles again. “And you like my cologne? I think I have an extra bottle if you want to take some home and try it.” Jimin begins to pull away from Yoongi, slowly, but Yoongi still feels the absence of the other man’s warmth immediately. “I think we should go ahead and eat before it gets too cold. Yeah?”
A blush spreads across Yoongi’s cheeks once his face is no longer hidden in Jimin’s neck. Nodding slightly, he turns toward the table where Jimin is setting out their food. They eat, but not in silence. No, it seems they have so much more in common than they already did before and there’s rarely a lull in the conversation. Yoongi can’t remember the last time he talked so much or enjoyed talking so much. They laugh and share their fears about their sexuality and how that makes their lives less than ideal in the eyes of their small-minded society.
By the time Jimin walks Yoongi to the front door, it is nearing midnight, Yoongi having spent the majority of his day in the Park residence. They had lightheartedly argued about how Yoongi would get home, and finally compromised on Jimin paying for a taxi to take Yoongi to his dorm. Though, Yoongi thought the older man was seriously overreacting about his safety. But, he can’t deny that it felt kind of nice to be fussed over by Jimin.
Warmth. That word is the best way to describe Yoongi’s evening. Jimin’s warm embrace. His warm, kind and gentle words. The warm burn of the expensive whiskey they shared after dinner. Yoongi started this evening lusting over Jimin. He ended the evening thinking his feelings could and, most likely will, run deeper the more time he gets to spend with the older man.
So this is what a crush feels like.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
Tuesday comes and Yoongi is feeling like a bundle of nerves as he makes his way to his usual seat next to Jungkook in their composition class. He stumbles when Jungkook looks up and sees him, face lit up with a huge smile and waving like Yoongi doesn’t know where to find him after weeks of sitting next to him. Yoongi quickly sits down, just nodding in Jungkook’s direction but he can feel the younger man’s gaze on him. He just knows the little shit is going to say something.
“Uh, nice to see you too, hyung. What’s up with you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
Yoongi just grunts and pulls out his supplies for the class. He isn’t ready to talk to Jungkook. Which is stupid, he knows. It’s not like the younger knows that Yoongi spent the last three days gushing inwardly over his father, practically doodling their names next to each other in a notebook and wondering if he should become Park Yoongi when they finally get married.
The trajectory of his thoughts over the last few days were quite shocking to Yoongi. He never thought he would be acting like a little schoolgirl over a man, yet there he was, planning their future as though Jimin liking him back was a given. He tries not to dwell too much on the fact that Jimin most likely wouldn’t be interested in someone that is basically the same age as his son, it’s far too depressing to think about it.
“Seriously, hyung, what’s up?”
Jungkook’s question pulls Yoongi from his thoughts of Jimin. And the guilt seeps in again. He figures it’s best to share some of the truth, for now, rather than all of it. Because, eventually, he will have to tell Jungkook he is interested in his dad. Just not today.
“Um. Did your dad tell you that I stayed and had dinner with him on Friday night?” Yoongi asks, testing the waters of how much Jungkook knows.
Confusion is evident on Jungkook’s face and Yoongi thinks it’s safe to say that Jimin probably hadn’t shared much, if anything, about their Friday night together. “No? You hung out with my dad? Wasn’t that weird? He’s so old.” Jungkook laughs, as though he has just made the funniest joke.
“I mean, he’s not that old and it just kinda happened. I guess? He was planning on ordering dinner as you ran out and asked me if I was hungry. I’m a college student. Of course, I was hungry, right?” The chuckle that escapes Yoongi is obviously nervous, at least it is to Yoongi, but Jungkook doesn't seem to pick up on that.
“Ha. Yeah, I don’t blame you for not turning down take-out!” Jungkook is nodding his head, the boy is perpetually hungry so it just makes sense to him to never turn down free food. “Wait, is that why you’re acting so weird? Are you worried that I’m going to be mad that you ate dinner with my dad?”
Yoongi nods. “Well yeah, that and I kind of sort of accidentally came out to your dad and he said he isn’t straight and neither are you.” Yoongi speaks so quickly, which is the exact opposite of how he normally speaks, but it was the only way he could get it all out.
Jungkook’s head jerks back to look at Yoongi, eyes wide and stunned. But it seems like this conversation isn’t going to continue any time soon, as the professor is suddenly speaking at the front of the room. Yoongi just shrugs and pulls his notebook closer to him, ready to take notes while the professor speaks.
Yoongi tries to focus on the professor’s words, he really does. It’s just that he can see from the corner of his eye that Jungkook is furiously writing in his notebook, writing much faster than the professor is even speaking. Just then, Jungkook’s notebook is slid towards his arm and he gets it. Jungkook wants to pass notes in class like fucking middle schoolers. The glare he gives Jungkook doesn’t deter the younger one from pushing the notebook even closer to him.
JK: What do you mean you kinda sorta came out to my dad? How do you accidentally come out to someone? And that someone be your friend’s dad and not your friend? What goes on in your brain, hyung?
Yoongi peers at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye and the boy is just staring at him. So, there’s no getting out of responding to Jungkook’s messages, obviously. Sighing, he situates Jungkook’s notebook in front of him and puts his pen to paper.
YG: I don’t know! We were just talking and suddenly I’m admitting for the first time that I am gay and crying and having a serious panic attack. Like, obviously I didn’t plan that. Who wants to have a panic attack in front of their friend’s dad?
He can see Jungkook’s eyes widen and then the younger is looking at him with such a sad expression before he is furiously writing again.
JK: You’d never told anyone before? Oh, hyung, I know that must have been hard. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You know you can tell me anything right?
YG: Thanks Kook. Actually, your dad told me that he is bisexual and that you aren’t straight either. Which really helped, but we were both really sorry that your sexuality came up when you hadn’t shared with me yourself.
JK: It’s no big deal, hyung! Honestly, I just thought you knew? Didn’t Taehyung tell you that he is the one I went on the date with on Friday?
Now it’s Yoongi’s turn for his eyes to widen at the words on the page. Taehyung, as in his roommate Taehyung?
YG: Um, no? You’re dating my roommate?
JK: Well, yeah. I thought you knew! Wait, it’s cool right? Like does this go against bro code or something?
Yoongi doesn’t think dating a friend's roommate without said friend’s knowledge necessarily goes against bro code, definitely not like making a move on a friend’s dad would. But maybe…
YG: I mean yeah I think it kinda violates bro code, but you didn’t know so I guess it’s not a big deal.
And maybe Yoongi should feel bad for lying to Jungkook like this but he can’t help but want to find a way to maybe soften the blow if he is actually able to make a move on Jimin.
JK: Hyung! I am so sorry! I really really like TaeTae but if it’s going to upset you, I will just break it off with him.
Okay, now Yoongi does feel bad. No, he feels like utter shit. In his defense though, he didn’t know the kid was going to offer to stop dating his roommate. Like who does that? He’s too sweet. But he is Park Jimin’s son, so that actually makes a lot of sense.
YG: No, look, it's not a big deal. If you like Tae, you should keep seeing him. I’m happy for you. I was just surprised. I didn’t know you two even really knew each other that well, is all.
JK: Oh! He’s friends with a guy in one of my dance classes, Hobi. Honestly, I didn’t even know he was your roommate at first. But yeah, so obviously I’m not straight. And I’m glad you had someone safe to come out to. My dad was so amazing when I told him I’m gay.
YG: Yeah, honestly it was probably the best experience I could have asked for. He’s really great. You’re really lucky, Kook.
Yoongi shoots Jungkook a grin. And the thing is, Yoongi really meant it when he said Jungkook is lucky to have Jimin. Lusting after Park Jimin aside, the man is an amazing father from what Yoongi can see. He’s attentive, a hard worker, and totally invested in supporting his son and his dreams, in a way that not a lot of parents in their country are.
The lecture hall is suddenly awash in light and Yoongi practically jumps out of his seat. They had seriously passed notes back and forth through the entire class. Shit, he really hopes the professor didn’t cover anything that they are absolutely going to need to know for the final. The other students begin packing up their belongings and Yoongi and Jungkook quickly follow suit.
“Hyung? How come you hadn’t ever told anyone, not even a friend, that you’re gay?” Jungkook whispers, cognizant of the fact that others could overhear their conversation and Yoongi appreciates his discretion.
Yoongi shrugs. “Honestly, I kind of just realized it myself not too long ago. I hadn’t really had the chance to tell anyone yet.”
Not surprised in the least, Yoongi watches as Jungkook’s big eyes become even bigger as he processes his words. “Oh.”
And what else is there to say really? It’s not like it’s unheard of to discover your sexuality while attending university. Yoongi is just glad that Jungkook doesn’t have a clue yet that his father was the reason for Yoongi’s gay awakening, and especially that he doesn’t know that Yoongi is still a virgin. Now that is something he is not willing to share with the younger. Especially since he is really hoping that Jungkook’s dad will help him out with that particular problem. He might be willing to tell Jungkook about his interest in Jimin, one day, but he’s not willing to talk about losing his virginity to said older man. That is really none of Jungkook’s business.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
Much to Yoongi’s dismay, Jungkook begins hanging out at his dorm quite a bit, under the guise of wanting to see Taehyung. Of course, Yoongi is happy to spend time with his younger friend, when that friend isn’t shoving his tongue down Taehyung’s throat, but he is starting to feel like he will never see Jimin again. The one time they had gone to the Park apartment to work on their project since that fateful Friday night, Jimin wasn’t there. He had still been at work when Yoongi finally left, no longer able to keep stalling from taking his leave. He didn’t want Jungkook to get suspicious of him, after all.
Once again, as Yoongi is sitting in the living area of his dorm suite, he has been relegated to watching Jungkook and Taehyung make out. And not just some simple, sweet kisses. No, they are full on moaning and grinding on each other like they have completely forgotten that they were on the couch in the first place to watch a movie with Yoongi.
Groaning, Yoongi huffs at the two younger men. “I’m just going to turn this off. Can you guys take this low-rate porn to Tae’s room? For the love of god, please!”
His words have the desired effect, the two men yanking away from each other, as though they were caught by their parents when they should have been studying. Jungkook is the first to speak.
“Hyung! I’m sorry.” At least Jungkook has the wherewithal to appear completely embarrassed. He glances at Taehyung, a little sheepish still. “Maybe we should hang out at my place. I feel bad we keep forgetting Yoongi-hyung is in the room.”
Well that confirms it. They are actually forgetting Yoongi is present. He isn’t sure how he feels about that. Then, he registers the other part of what Jungkook said. “Absolutely not! You are not taking Taehyung to your humble abode until we finish our project. We will never finish it if you two are always holed up in your den of sin.”
Silence. It seems all three of them are surprised at Yoongi’s outburst. Then, just as quickly as the silence came, it is broken by the loud guffaws of laughter coming from all three men.
“OMG Yoongi-hyung. His den of sin? Where do you come up with this stuff?” Taehyung struggles to get out the words in between loud peals of laughter. In fact, he is laughing so hard that he is practically strewn completely over Jungkook, who is still laughing, too.
It takes a while but the laughs and gasps finally begin to trickle out. The three of them are breathing heavily and wiping the tears from their eyes.
“Yoongi-hyung, are you really worried we won’t finish our project? I thought we were pretty much almost done with it and we still have weeks until it is due.” Jungkook cocks his head to the side as he looks at Yoongi.
And Yoongi gets why Jungkook looks so confused. They are almost done and there is still like four weeks before they have to submit the project. But how is he supposed to explain to Jungkook that he isn’t ready to give up his opportunities to see Jimin? Yes, Yoongi promised himself that he would share his inner turmoil with the younger when it comes to his father, but, again, today is not that day.
Yoong just shrugs and tries to play it off. “I’m just really into the song. Don’t mind me. It’s your den of sin. Obviously, you can spend as much time in it as you want. Just don’t fuck in the studio until the project is done, please?”
Once again, the room is filled with laughter. Yeah, their unruly libidos seriously piss Yoongi off, but he really does love spending time with the two younger men. Their happiness is contagious. Yoongi just wishes he could experience that kind of happiness himself. Maybe with a sexy, older man.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
“I can’t believe we finished it with more than three weeks to spare on the deadline. Thanks for teaming up with me, hyung. This has been so much fun.”
The smile on Jungkook’s face is contagious and Yoongi can’t help but return it with his own big grin, certain his teeth and gums are on full display. He’s just fucking proud of both of them. The track turned out a thousand times better than Yoongi could have ever dreamed.
“Holy fuck, Kook. Fun doesn’t even begin to cover it. This track is so good, I feel like I’ve already peaked at only nineteen years old.” He can’t hold back the chuckle that suddenly threatens to escape from deep in his chest. God, he really hopes this isn’t his career peak, but it is a damn good song and Jungkook’s vocals are absolute perfection.
A knock echoes through the room and they both turn to the door, watching as it slowly opens. Jimin peaks his head in, checking to see if it is safe for him to enter.
“Come on in, Appa.” Jungkook says happily, the joy evident in his voice.
“Well, you boys are positively glowing. Does this mean you finished the project?”
If Yoongi thought Jungkook’s huge grin was a sight to see, he soon realizes it doesn't hold a candle to the smile completely taking over Jimin’s face right now. His pearl-white teeth are on full display and Yoongi gets a glimpse at an adorable crooked tooth. Don’t even get Yoongi started on the way that Jimin’s eyes practically disappear with how puffy his cheeks are from the smile plastered on his gorgeous face.
“Appa, we not only finished but we are way ahead of schedule and this song is fucking epic. Like you don’t understand how insanely talented Yoongi-hyung is.”
A blush creeps onto Yoongi’s cheeks at the younger gushing about him.
“I will let that expletive slide since you both are obviously so excited. I’m proud of you both.”
And Yoongi’s blush just intensifies. Aish, why does Jimin praising him make Yoongi want to melt into a puddle and worry about having to hide a boner all at the same time?
“Oh, actually the reason I came in here is to tell you that Taehyung is here, Kookie. He said you guys had plans?”
“Shit! I totally forgot! Yoongi-hyung, I gotta go. I will text you later, okay?”
And just like before, Jungkook is out the door before Yoongi can even think about moving to follow him.
“Well this feels familiar.” Jimin giggles and, yeah, Yoongi is certain he is going to melt into a puddle right in this chair. “Hungry?”
That’s how Yoongi finds himself enjoying a glass of really good whiskey after a delicious dinner on Jimin’s couch, again. It feels so familiar, but not the same at all. Because this time there aren't any tears or accidental dramatic sexuality discussions. No, this time they are simply enjoying each other’s company while Jimin gushes about the latest book he is reading. It’s one that Yoongi just finished a few weeks ago when he had a little free time in between his busy school schedule.
Yoongi can’t keep his eyes off Jimin. The way he is so expressive when he is excited about something, speaking with his hands, practically falling into Yoongi’s lap every time he laughs. With every seemingly innocent touch, Yoongi finds himself craving more. More brushes of Jimin’s hand against his shoulder, more of the firm grip of Jimin’s small palm against Yoongi’s thigh when he is trying to right himself from falling over with his laughter. It all becomes too much for Yoongi and then he is blurting out something that he instantly wishes he could take back.
“Will you kiss me, Jimin-hyung?”
The look of shock on Jimin’s face doesn’t surprise Yoongi one bit. Hell, he is just as shocked at his own words. But even in his shock, there is a gentle kindness evident in the way Jimin cups Yoongi’s cheek with his small, warm hand.
“Yoongi-yah, I don’t think that is such a good idea. Do you understand what I mean?”
Of course, Yoongi understands what Jimin is trying to say. It definitely isn’t a good idea. He has known this since the moment he realized he wanted Jimin in a way he has never wanted anyone else. And yet…
“Why? Why isn’t it a good idea? Is it because of Kook? Or is it because you really don’t feel for me the way I feel about you?” Yoongi holds his breath as he watches Jimin think about his next words, a frown deepening the little wrinkles between his expressive eyebrows.
Cautiously, carefully, Jimin speaks. “And how do you feel about me, little one?”
“I’m not a child, Jimin-hyung. I know what I feel for you is real. I want to be near you all of the time. Even when I’m not with you, I’m dreaming of when I can see you next. Your smile, your eyes, your giggle that sounds like little tinkling bells. I miss all of it when we are apart. Tell me you don’t feel the same way.” Yoongi pleads with the older man. He refuses to believe that this is one-sided, that the time they have spent together is nothing more than a man spending time with his son’s friend. They are more than that. They have to be.
“Oh, Yoongi-yah, I don’t call you “little one” to insinuate you are a child. I know you aren’t a child. If nothing else, I hope you know I see you as a man. It’s just that there is Kookie to think of-”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Yoongi feels like Jimin dancing around his question has to mean something. Otherwise, the man would just say he doesn’t feel the same, right? Even his kindness has to know some bounds, surely, he would just let Yoongi down easily.
Jimin sighs. “I think it is best that I don’t answer your question. Knowing how I feel won’t change the fact that you are my son’s friend. That you are almost half my age. Yoongi-yah, you have to see that.”
Anger explodes inside of Yoongi and he can’t sit still any longer. He bolts off the couch and begins pacing in front of the television. “That’s such a fucking cop out and you know it, hyung! Knowing how you feel would change everything. It would mean we could be together.”
Oh. But that’s the thing. Yoongi still doesn’t know for sure how Jimin feels. Because the infuriating man won’t say it! Yoongi stumbles to a stop as he bows his head. “I mean- that is if you feel even an ounce of what I feel. We could make it work…” His words drift off in a whisper.
A finger is nudging at Yoongi’s chin, forcing his head up and he meets Jimin’s gaze. “Baby, listen to me.”
Yoongi’s eyes widen and he gasps. “Baby?”
A small grin spreads across Jimin’s face but he doesn’t respond, not with words. Jimin’s hand comes up to cradle Yoongi’s cheek, again, and what is Yoongi supposed to do, other than nuzzle into it, all his hopes and dreams seemingly so close. If Jimin would just say it.
“I’m sorry for upsetting you and not answering your question. I do like you, Yoongi-yah.”
Yoongi finds he has to hold back the whine that is threatening to bubble out of his throat when Jimin’s hand disappears from his face. He watches as Jimin runs his hand through his own hair, frustration apparent, but there’s something else. That hand is shaking. And, oh, maybe it’s fear. Fear of the unknown. Yoongi understands that.
“Fuck, I like you so much, Yoongi-yah. And I know I shouldn’t. But I also can’t help it! Spending time with you has been… I didn’t even realize how lonely I was until you showed up. You’re so funny and you like the same things I do, and you just get me like no one else has in a really long time.” Jimin begins to pace as he continues to run his hand through his hair. “But I can’t help but feel like I’m being selfish. I’m so much older than you and you have your whole life ahead of you. And I already have a kid. What nineteen-year-old wants to be saddled with a ready-made family?” A whisper. “I can’t ask that of you.” He finally comes to a stop and faces Yoongi. “And that’s what making it work with me would entail, a ready-made family. Being a year older than someone who could one day be your stepson. That’s a lot.”
Yoongi can’t watch the anguish on Jimin’s face any longer and not be touching him, offering some form of comfort. So he strides over to the older man and wraps his arms around his stiff body, a sigh of relief escaping him as Jimin slowly relaxes in his hold.
“You’re not asking anything of me. I want this. I want you.” Yoongi whispers against Jimin’s ear and is pleased when he feels a shiver run through the other man’s body. “Forget everything else. If you want to be with me too, then we can figure it all out. Just give me a chance.”
Jimin slides his hand up to the back of Yoongi’s neck, tangling in the icy blond strands, as his other arm winds its way around to rest at the small of Yoongi’s back. It isn’t the first time he has felt Jimin’s hands on his body, but this time feels different. There seems to be a new purpose in these touches. And when Jimin pulls his head back, just a little, to gaze into Yoongi’s eyes, Yoongi sees everything he has been craving.
Desire. Want. Need. They are all flickering in Jimin’s brown eyes. Once again, Yoongi is holding his breath. Obviously, he has been kissed before, but the anticipation has never felt like this. All-consuming, a small fire kindling in his gut as he waits for what he knows will come next. He doesn’t have to wait long as he sees the question in Jimin’s expression and he simply answers it with a brief nod.
Then, soft, plush lips are pressing against Yoongi’s. It’s just the slightest brush but it is more explosive than anything he has ever experienced before. It causes Yoongi to gasp and Jimin immediately takes advantage of the younger man’s parted lips. A slick, hot tongue is prodding at Yoongi’s lips, licking at the seam. Wanting more, Yoongi opens his mouth wider and that wet tongue is plundering the depths all at once. It’s carnal and more than Yoongi even dreamed that a kiss could be.
Jimin is flicking his tongue along the roof of Yoongi’s mouth and the younger man can’t hold back a moan but Jimin just swallows the noise and groans in return. That kindling fire in Yoongi’s gut is bursting into the hottest and brightest flames and he is running his hands all over Jimin’s back, desperate to get closer but not sure how. Jimin must sense his frustration because he pulls back, much to Yoongi’s disappointment.
“Shh, baby. I’ve got you, I’m not going anywhere. What do you want?”
That’s the thing, Yoongi doesn’t know what he wants. He just wants. He is trembling with need. And, yet, he’s so nervous. They have come so far. If Jimin knows he has never done this before, will the older man change his mind? Fuck, Yoongi will literally die if Jimin walks away now. Now, when everything he wants is within reach. He is still trembling, but now fear seeps into the desire. And of course, Jimin notices. He notices everything.
“Hey.” Jimin is nudging Yoongi’s face up to force him to look at him, Yoongi hadn’t even realized he had ducked his head into Jimin’s neck. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Yeah? Kissing is great. I love you kissing you, baby.”
Damn it, Jimin is just so good. Even with their bodies pressed close, breaths coming in heavy pants, he is so focused on making Yoongi comfortable. Looking deep into Jimin’s eyes, Yoongi realizes that he can trust the older man with his fears. He won’t walk away. That just isn’t something Jimin would do, that isn’t who he is.
Whispering, but trying to be so brave, Yoongi confides in Jimin. “I want everything with you. But I- I’ve never done this before, hyung. Like, with anyone…” He trails off, letting the implication fall between them.
“Oh, little one. That’s okay. Hyung doesn’t care that you don’t have any experience.” Jimin shudders and takes a deep breath. “Fuck, why is that so hot, actually? Makes me want to ruin you.”
In an instant, Jimin is crashing into Yoongi, his lips devouring Yoongi’s mouth and Yoongi can’t catch his breath, just moaning and gasping at every swipe of Jimin’s tongue and little bite against his swollen lips.
“Hyung, need you.” Yoongi is frantic again. Hearing that Jimin finds his virginity sexy spurs him into action, tugging Jimin’s shirt from the waistband of his black slacks. Fingers shaking as he attempts to unbutton the offending garment. He wants to feel Jimin’s skin, see his tattoo again, worship his golden-toned body.
“Bedroom?” Jimin asks against Yoongi’s neck as he begins to suck and bite at the sensitive skin near his pulse point. All Yoongi can do is whine and frantically nod his head. Then, much to Yoongi’s surprise, Jimin is grasping under Yoongi’s thighs and telling him to jump. Yoongi’s legs wrap around Jimin’s waist and Jimin is carrying him to his bedroom.
“Shit, Jimin-hyung. You’re so fucking hot.” Yoongi is just hanging on and with every step he can feel his already painfully-hard erection brushing against Jimin’s stomach. And Jimin just laughs while he readjusts his hands to palm at Yoongi’s ass. Oh, that feels so good. Yoongi can’t help but grind back into Jimin’s hands, wanting more.
Then, Yoongi is falling backwards, soft bedding bracing his short tumble but he doesn’t care because Jimin is crowding in on top of him, pressing his body against Yoongi’s until he is grinding their cloth-covered cocks together. It feels so good and Yoongi is already on the verge of cumming, in his pants, like the embarrassing virgin he is.
“Hyung, wait.” Yoongi is breathless as he puts a little pressure against Jimin’s chest with his palms. But it has the opposite effect of what he wanted because Jimin is scrambling to sit up, putting distance between them. Yoongi might cry.
“I’m sorry. Is this too much?” Jimin looks concerned and Yoongi really is going to cry. The man is so fucking sexy and so devastatingly sweet at the same time, and that just shouldn’t be a thing!
Yoongi rushes to reassure Jimin. “No! No, it’s definitely not too much, well at least not how you think. I just…” He trails off, the embarrassment coming back full force. “Ugh, I was just really close already. Aish, that’s so embarrassing!” He quickly covers his face with his hands, not wanting Jimin to see what a loser he really is, lest he change his mind about all of this.
“Uh uh, don’t hide your pretty face from me, baby.” Jimin is tugging Yoongi’s hands away, then he is pressing them into the mattress next to the younger’s head, holding them there. Jimin ducks his head down to trail his tongue up Yoongi’s neck until his lips rest against his ear, Yoongi shivers. “Besides, what’s so bad about cumming in your pants? You’re young. Your refractory period has to be practically nonexistent.”
Yoongi hates how he can’t hide how the blush on his face deepens. How would he know what his refractory period is? When he rubs one out, that’s it, it’s just one and then he’s done. He has never had a need to try again.
As usual, it seems Jimin misses nothing when it comes to Yoongi. “Oh? You’ve never tested how quickly you can cum again? Mmm, ruining you is going to be so fun.” Jimin nibbles at Yoongi’s ear as he begins grinding against Yoongi again.
The room is filled with moans and whines and then grunts when Yoongi finds himself struggling to finally get Jimin’s shirt unbuttoned. The older man has mercy on Yoongi and sits up, causing him to straddle Yoongi’s lap, and begins to undo his shirt and flings it across the room. Yoongi just stares before he realizes he is actually allowed to touch the deliciously golden skin that has been revealed to him, so he does. Lightly running his fingertips down Jimin’s chest, being sure to make a detour to trace over the letters tattooed into Jimin’s ribcage, until they settle against the waistband of his slacks.
Then, he sees it. The bulge straining against Jimin’s pants. His mouth actually waters. There’s no doubt in his mind right now, he is so fucking gay. He wills his hands to be steady as he undoes the buckle of Jimin’s belt then moves to the button and zipper. He takes his time, but Jimin doesn’t stop him so he keeps going until the slacks are hanging open and he can see a wet spot on the front of the older man’s tight gray underwear. Instinctively, Yoongi licks his lips.
“See something you like, baby?”
When Yoongi’s gaze jerks up to meet Jimin’s, he is met with a devilish smirk. He just nods and begins tugging the underwear and slacks down Jimin’s hips and the older man chuckles as he reaches down to help. Yoongi doesn’t even have time to thoroughly enjoy the view of a completely nude Park Jimin, as the older man quickly climbs back onto his lap, straddling his hips.
“Now it’s your turn.” Jimin whispers as he gently pulls Yoongi into a seated position, their chests and faces just mere inches apart. He takes his time reaching for the hem of Yoongi’s shirt, softly running his fingers across the skin of Yoongi’s hips before he grasps onto the fabric and starts sliding it up the younger man’s torso.
As so many times before, Yoongi blushes. His cheeks feel so warm as they fill with blood, nervous for what Jimin will think of his softer, paler body. He needn’t have worried, though.
“My baby is so sexy. Can’t believe you have been hiding all of this behind those big oversized shirts and hoodies.” Jimin sounds almost reverent as he glides his fingertips along Yoongi’s collarbone, trailing down until he is circling an areola. Softly. Teasing. It’s all enough to have Yoongi arching his back, practically begging Jimin to touch the hardened bud at the center.
The older man doesn’t disappoint, lightly scraping his nail across Yoongi’s nipple causing the younger to cry out in pleasure. Lightning is zinging through Yoongi’s body and pooling in his groin. He feels like he is going to come out of his skin, he can’t take the anticipation of Jimin’s next move anymore. He just wants and wants and wants. And he really wants to cum.
Yoongi tunnels his fingers into Jimin’s honey-blonde strands and tugs the man closer to him, attacking his plump, kiss-bitten lips with a voracious hunger that he can’t seem to satisfy. Jimin matches his fervor as he rocks his bare cock against Yoongi’s erection through his sweatpants. Yoongi feels so close to the edge with every movement of Jimin’s hips but really doesn’t want to cum in his pants.
Wrapping his arms around Jimin, he begins to lay back against the bed, bringing the older man with him and whispers against his lips, “My pants. Take my pants off. Please, hyung.” He knows he is begging, but he can’t find it in himself to be embarrassed, driven so close to the edge by the devastatingly sexy man lying on top of him.
Seeming just as impatient as Yoongi, Jimin slides off the younger man’s lap and slips his fingers under the waistband of Yoongi’s sweatpants. Then, they are tossed on the floor, along with Yoongi’s boxers and they are both completely naked. No more fabric separating them, able to touch every single inch of skin. They crash back together. Yoongi’s hands grabbing at the fleshy globes of Jimin’s ass, grinding skin on skin.
Yoongi’s orgasm hits him like the impact of a freight train, barreling full steam ahead with absolutely no warning. Full-body shudders wrack his body as he feels the warmth spread between their bodies. He thinks he should be embarrassed, again, but he can’t think past the intense pleasure that he just experienced.
Through the haze of the most intense orgasm of his life, Yoongi feels Jimin moving away and he wants to grab on, not let him go but his arms feel so heavy at the moment he can only whine at the movement. Jimin is shushing him and then suddenly he feels a wet wipe cleaning up the mess on his stomach. Oh. That’s nice, Yoongi thinks as Jimin settles against his side, wrapping him up in his arms and kissing his temple.
“How are you feeling, little one?” Jimin whispers.
“Amazing,” Yoong slurs. He turns his head to look at Jimin. “But what about you?”
A chuckle and then, “Well that depends on you, baby. Do you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop here for now?”
Yoongi may be drowsy and recovering from the best orgasm in the history of orgasms, but he isn’t ready to stop. He wants to make Jimin feel good, doesn’t want this to end with Jimin feeling less than satisfied. “Wanna keep going. Want you to feel good, too.” Yoongi whispers the words into the skin of Jimin’s neck.
“Mmm, okay baby.” Jimin trails his fingers up and down Yoongi’s spine, causing the younger one to shiver. “I know this is new for you, but have you given any thought to whether you want to top or bottom? Or… are you even familiar with those terms?” His words and his expression are so gentle, like always. No hint of judgement, just genuine curiosity.
Despite all of that, Yoongi is still fighting shyness, still hiding his face in Jimin’s neck and the older man lets him. Lets him take all the time he needs to decide, to share what he wants. “I know what they mean. And, I’m sorry if it is disappointing to you, but I don’t think I’m ready to bottom just yet. Maybe one day, when I’m more comfortable with all of this, but not today.”
“Hey! Look at me, Min Yoongi.” Jimin pulls back, forcing Yoongi to retreat from the comfort of his warm hiding spot. “You are not a disappointment. You will never be a disappointment to me. Even if you never wanted to try any form of penetration,” and of course that word causes Yoongi to blush even more because why not remind Jimin what an inexperienced virgin he is, “I would be totally okay with that. I know I said I wanted to ruin you, but there are thousands of ways I can do that, even if you never bottom for me. Do you understand?”
Yoongi nods and leans in to brush his lips against Jimin’s, wanting to show his appreciation for the older man’s understanding. He sighs when Jimin reciprocates, loving the feel of those plush lips against his own. Then Jimin is dominating the kiss, rolling Yoongi over onto his back and plunging his tongue into the younger’s mouth like he can’t get enough of his taste.
Between kisses, Jimin speaks. “Want you to fuck me, Yoongi-yah. Do you want that?” Jimin begins kissing down Yoongi’s throat and all Yoongi can do is moan and nod his head as he basks in the pleasure of the little nibbles against his collarbone. “Can you answer me, baby? I need to hear the words.”
“Yes! Yes, Jimin-hyung, wanna fuck you.” Yoongi gasps as Jimin’s mouth latches onto his nipple. He is arching his back, trying to force the bud further into the older’s mouth. Nipple play is new for him but he already loves it so much. Loves everything that Jimin does to him, really.
Jimin swirls his tongue down Yoongi’s torso until he reaches his cock that is starting to harden and lengthen once again, proving Jimin’s point that Yoongi’s youth really just might come in handy when it comes to his refractory period. When Jimin licks at the head, Yoongi has to hold back a scream, it feels so fucking good and he’s so sensitive after already cumming once.
“Mmm… knew it wouldn’t take much to get this big cock hard again.” Jimin’s words are spoken against the side of Yoongi’s erection and that’s not something he ever thought would be hot.
“B-Big?” Yoongi stutters but he’s shocked, he is pretty sure that his dick is pretty average, and also trying to have a conversation during his first blowjob isn’t exactly easy. At least he thinks it is a blowjob, though there hasn’t been any sucking yet. Yoongi is pretty sure blowjobs are supposed to be heavy on the sucking.
Jimin just smirks as he continues to speak words up and down Yoongi’s now rock-hard dick. “Oh, you didn’t know? Mmm, so big. Can’t wait to feel how well you stretch me open with it.”
Before Yoongi can respond, and how does he respond to that anyways, Jimin finally takes Yoongi’s erection into his mouth and sucks on the tip. Yoongi gasps and tangles his fingers into the sheets beneath him, praying that he doesn’t cum again. But it feels so good and now Jimin is taking him deeper and his mouth is getting tighter. Fuck, he is so close again.
“Hyung…Jimin…Close…” Yoongi breathes out, tangling his fingers in Jimin’s hair, frantically trying to get Jimin’s attention, fearing that he will cum too soon. Again.
Thankfully, Jimin pulls off with a loud pop that has Yoongi’s dick twitching as it glistens with the sheen of Jimin’s saliva in the glow of the bedside lamp. Yoongi watches as Jimin reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom and then straddles Yoongi’s waist once again.
The confusion that Yoongi is feeling must be evident on his face because Jimin lays the lube and condom next to Yoongi and leans down to softly kiss his lips. Pulling back, Jimin explains, “I’m too impatient to teach you how to open me up right now, I’m sorry. Just gonna do it myself really quick. Okay?”
Jimin actually looks apologetic but Yoongi can’t understand why he would be upset by the situation. Obviously, he wants to learn how to do all the things with Jimin, but he is feeling just as impatient as Jimin so he can’t really complain too much that Jimin wants to skip the tutorials for today. “Okay, yeah. Next time?” Yoongi whispers, hopeful, praying that there will be a next time.
“Next time. I promise, baby.” Jimin smiles and brushes another soft kiss against Yoongi’s lips before he is grabbing the lube.
Yoongi watches as Jimin coats his thick fingers with the viscous liquid and then his hand disappears behind his back and all Yoongi can do is watch Jimin’s facial expressions. And if he’s being honest, the pleasure that is so clear on the older’s face is more than enough to have Yoongi feeling like he wouldn’t survive being able to see Jimin’s fingers disappearing into his lube-slick hole.
Much quicker than Yoongi expected, Jimin is rolling the condom onto Yoongi’s throbbing cock and coating it in lube, telling the younger that he is ready. Yoongi stills, unsure what to do next but Jimin seems to sense his hesitation.
“Gonna ride you, baby. Make us both feel good, okay?” Jimin’s cheeks are flushed, his hair drenched in sweat at his graying temples and Yoongi thinks he has never looked more beautiful.
Yoongi holds his breath as Jimin positions himself over Yoongi’s erection and then slowly begins to slide down, inch by devastating inch. By the time Jimin’s hips meet Yoongi’s, the older man has his head thrown back, biting his bottom lip as he places his hands on Yoongi’s chest, just grounding himself and adjusting to the stretch. And Yoongi was wrong. Now, he thinks Jimin has never looked more beautiful.
It doesn’t take long for Jimin to start undulating his hips, grinding back and forth until he must find what he is looking for because he lets out the sexiest moan before increasing his speed. Yoongi grasps onto Jimin’s hips, digging his fingers into the smooth, heated flesh. He is sure he should be doing more, but staving off his impending orgasm is where most of his focus lies.
“Feels so good, hyung.” Yoongi moans and whines every time Jimin slams his hips down into Yoongi’s.
“Yeah? You fill me up so well, baby. Love your cock so much.” Jimin is panting as he continues to increase the speed of his movements. Gone is the slow, methodical pace of before. Now, both men seem to be frantic as they chase their highs.
Yoongi is so close and he doesn’t want to tip over the edge without Jimin. It’s then he realizes he hasn’t even touched Jimin’s dick. He takes in the sight, Jimin may be a little shorter in length than Yoongi but he more than makes up for it in girth. He has a fleeting thought of what Jimin would feel like inside of him. But he can’t get distracted right now. He is on a mission to make Jimin cum with him.
He finally wraps his hand around the base of Jimin’s cock. It’s similar and yet so vasty different from touching his own dick. As he begins to stroke from the base to the tip, aided by the slick slide of Jimin’s precum, he notices how the skin is so smooth to the touch, and yet feels like it is wrapped around hot steel. Then there is the tip, flushed a deep, angry red from being neglected for so long.
He is so engrossed in touching Jimin in this new, exciting way that he doesn’t notice the change in Jimin’s pace. Not until he hears Jimin’s words. “Fuck, baby. So close. Gonna cum.”
And that brings him back to the present and he is once again aware of how close he is to the edge, too. Then the cliff gives way and Yoongi is free-falling, he feels his spend fill the condom inside of Jimin as warmth coats his hand and stomach as Jimin moans and grinds above him. The man is so fucking stunning.
Once Jimin eases off of Yoongi’s softening length and practically face plants on the bed next to him, Yoongi feels the need to take care of Jimin. The way the older man is always taking care of him. He slips from the bed and makes his way to the bathroom, where he busies himself with wetting a soft rag. He tries and fails to avoid his reflection in the mirror above the sink.
Staring back at him is the same Min Yoongi he has always known. He doesn’t really look any different now that he has confessed to Jimin and lost his virginity. Well, except for the stupid grin he can’t seem to wipe off of his face. But he feels different inside. He feels whole. Like this was always supposed to happen, like he was always meant to be with Jimin.
Fuck, being gay has really made me so goddamn cheesy. Or maybe it is just Jimin. Yoongi shakes his head at his own thoughts and makes his way back to Jimin’s bedroom. He gently guides Jimin over onto his back and sets about cleaning the older man, attempting to remove every drop of lube and cum he can find. When he feels satisfied with his efforts, he crawls back into the bed and snuggles into Jimin.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
A noise pulls Yoongi from his slumber, though he doesn’t have time to figure out where the noise came from. No. Right now, he is too busy trying not to panic when he realizes that the sun is pouring through the curtains and this is certainly not his room. He remembers falling asleep next to Jimin but he had intended to get up after a few hours and make his way back to his dorm, hopefully before Jungkook made it home.
Looking at the bright light shining through the window pane, Yoongi really hopes Jungkook and Taehyung stayed out all night and haven’t made it back. The less appealing option would be that Jungkook is actually here, but still asleep and maybe didn’t notice that Yoongi’s shoes were still neatly placed on the shoe rack in the entryway.
It’s then he hears raised voices coming from down the hall. Oh. Maybe that was the loud noise that woke up.
“It’s really none of your concern, Kookie.”
“None of my concern?! My father is sleeping with my friend! I would say that I have a right to be concerned!”
Well, shit. Sounds like Yoongi doesn’t have to wonder if Jungkook made it home yet. He shudders to think how Jungkook knows he is still in the apartment. Fuck, Yoongi couldn’t bear it if Jungkook had walked in on him and Jimin sleeping. Yoongi looks down. Still very naked, apparently, at that.
“Okay, let’s say you have a valid point. What is it about this relationship that is so concerning to you then, Jungkook?”
Yoongi flinches. He doesn’t think he has ever heard Jimin call Jungkook by his given name. It’s always “Kookie” or “Kook.” Jimin doesn’t sound angry, though. And Yoongi realizes he’s never really seen Jimin angry. Maybe he is one of those scary, silent angry types. Maybe he should be worried for Jungkook.
“Relationship? So this is a relationship, then?”
Silence. Yoongi doesn’t like the fact that it sounds like Jimin is hesitating. As far as he is concerned, this is a relationship. The real deal. Maybe it is unconventional because of their age gap and how they met, but it means something to Yoongi. And Jimin said it means something to him too. He can’t just sit here, naked underneath Jimin’s blankets, any longer. He begins searching the room for his clothes but there’s not one article of clothing on the floor.
With no other alternative, Yoongi raids Jimin’s dresser and pulls on some soft sweatpants and an even softer, age-worn t-shirt. He turns the doorknob as quietly as he can, trying not to make a sound, hoping the other men don’t know he is awake just yet.
“And if it is, Kookie? What if it is a relationship? Does that make it better or worse in your eyes?”
Yoongi doesn’t know if these non-answers come with being a parent, or if Jimin was just a therapist in another life, but the older man seems to love to answer a question with an even more thought-provoking question of his own. Having been on the receiving end of it, just last night, Yoongi can relate to Jungkook’s frustrated growl. He stops outside of the kitchen, finally finding where the arguing has been coming from, and takes a deep breath before stepping into the silent room.
“Stop.” Yoongi whispers, softly. So softly, he doesn’t even know if they heard him, but it was all he could manage. Suddenly, his throat feels so tight.
Father and son whip around at Yoongi’s small voice, both sets of brown eyes wide. Yoongi wants to laugh because they both look concerned. For him. It’s laughable because he is the one causing the problem here, they shouldn’t be worrying about him at all. He has been so selfish. Seeing the two men, hearing them argue, it dawns on him how truly selfish he has been in all of this. And he can think of only one way to fix it.
“Baby, I’m sor-”
“Hyung, I’m sor-”
Jimin and Jungkook stop and look at each other. Yoongi can see the pain in both of their eyes. He figures they have their typical father-son fights like most, but he wonders if they have ever fought like this, and the possibility that they haven’t, well that wounds Yoongi. He loves them both, he doesn’t want to hurt either of them.
Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. Jungkook has quickly become his best friend, of course he loves him. And Jimin. Jimin is the reason that Yoongi’s heart beats. The reason his world is full of color and laughter and meaning. But he lived in a cold, gray world before Jimin and he can do it again. He refuses to come between these two amazing, kind, sweet men.
“Please don’t apologize. Neither of you did anything wrong. I’m the one that should be sorry. And believe me, I am.” Yoongi turns to look at Jungkook. “I knew pursuing your dad was wrong. I knew that the whole time and I did it anyway. I guess, in my defense, I didn’t realize until today how much you have come to mean to me Jungkook-ah. You’re my best friend.” Yoongi whispers the last sentence as tears pool in his eyes.
He turns away when he sees the tears threatening to fill his friends eyes in return. He can’t witness the heartache he has caused. Turning to Jimin, he continues. “Jimin-hyung. I’m sorry I put you through this. I never meant to come between you and Kook. And I refuse to continue to be the reason you two are fighting. I love you, hyung, I really do. But my love can’t come before your bond with your son.”
Yoongi begins to walk towards the doorway that will lead him from the kitchen to the living room. He turns around when he hears his name being called by both Jimin and Jungkook. Not able to handle what they might say, he whispers “I’m sorry” one last time and makes his way to his shoes and bolts out of the apartment as fast as he can.
Yoongi doesn’t cry as soon as the front door closes behind him. No, he does his best to hold himself together for as long as he can. In the grand scheme of things, he is actually a little proud of himself for staving off the tears for the entire journey to his dorm. But when his door closes, the dam breaks. He slides down to the floor, wraps his arms around his bent knees and lets the tears finally fall. His heart breaks and he sobs and he sobs until the tears run dry and all he can do is drag himself to his bed and fall asleep.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
Three weeks doesn’t sound like a lot of time but it feels like eons when the time is spent avoiding the people that mean more than anything. That’s how Yoongi still thinks of Jimin and Jungkook. It’s only been three weeks, after all, and his heart still aches for his best friend and the man he fell in love with.
Avoiding Jimin has been the easiest, not on his heart, just logistically speaking. Obviously, they don’t share any classes and there is really no reason for Jimin to even step foot on the campus. At first, Yoongi berated himself for never asking for Jimin’s phone number, but now. Now, he’s glad he doesn’t have a way to reach out to Jimin when he is curled up in his bed drowning his tears and sorrows in cheap whiskey.
Jungkook, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Their shared class, once the highlight of Yoongi’s week, has now become something he dreads. When he does take the time to even show up, Yoongi has taken to arriving exactly thirteen seconds after the professor walks in the class. He knows because he has counted every Tuesday since the last time they talked.
Though Jungkook has tried so many times to speak to Yoongi, Yoongi's heart just can’t bear it. He runs, he hides, he shuts off his phone and he has even taken to locking his door when he knows Jungkook is coming over to see Taehyung. It’s a cowardly thing to do, but Yoongi just isn’t ready to face the devastation that he has caused. Not now. Maybe, not ever.
Taehyung has even tried. Once, he even cornered Yoongi in their shared kitchen and demanded to know why he had been avoiding Jungkook, why he was suddenly throwing away a friendship with someone as amazing as Jungkook. Yoongi just looked right through him and locked himself in his room. Again.
It’s just easier to avoid it all. Having a gay awakening didn’t come with the magic code to actually being able to process feelings and emotions, unfortunately. Yoongi is still the same scared nineteen-year-old who doesn’t know how to talk about how he feels. Well, except for with Jimin. Jimin made it easy. Or, that’s how it felt to Yoongi. Even when he was scared of sharing things with Jimin, he still did it. Jimin gave him the space and courage to be brave in the face of his fears. Without Jimin, Yoongi doesn’t know how to be brave anymore.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
The universe doesn’t seem to care that Yoongi doesn’t know how to be brave. Or, at least that’s how it feels when he runs into Jungkook in the doorway of his dorm suite. Literally. Yoongi was lost in his thoughts and didn’t realize the door handle opened much easier than usual and he ended up barrelling right into Jungkook’s chest. The younger man acts quicker than Yoongi, reaching out and wrapping his arms around Yoongi to keep him from falling and helping him through the doorway. And Yoongi is immediately mortified at the sob that crawls its way out of his throat at the feeling of Jungkook’s tender embrace.
“Hyung? Are you hurt?”
Jungkook’s voice is filled with concern and it only serves to remind Yoongi of the last time the younger man was concerned for him. The day Yoongi ruined everything. And just like the last time Yoongi saw Jungkook, his throat closes up, no words come. So he just shakes his head as he tries and fails to stem the flow of tears trailing down his face.
“Yoongi-hyung, look at me, please.” The pain in Jungkook’s words has Yoongi’s gaze jerking up to look at the younger man.
Oh. This is the last thing he wanted. Yoongi thought if he kept his distance, Jungkook would heal and move on, forget Yoongi had betrayed him and maybe even forgive him one day. That last part might have been a pipe dream but Yoongi has found that hope is really all he has lately.
“Why are you avoiding me? Why can’t you talk to me, hyung?”
Yoongi stiffens, his face settling into a frown. “You know why.”
“No, I don’t! All I know is you slept with my dad, walked in on us arguing and disappeared!”
“I thought that would be best. I told you both that I didn’t want to come in between you two. I know it might not mean much, but I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jungkook-ah. I really am sorry.”
Jungkook sighs and then wraps his arms around Yoongi, much to the older man’s surprise. “Yoongi-hyung, you didn’t hurt me. I was never angry with you. I was angry with my dad. I knew better, because I know what a wonderful man he is, but all I could think about was you telling me how you had come out to him and he had helped you through a panic attack. I don’t know, I was just worried that he had taken advantage of you somehow.”
Yoongi jerked away from Jungkook. “Park-Jeon Jungkook, you know better than that. Your dad would never do something like that.”
The annoyance and disgust that Yoongi feels must be evident on his face because Jungkook is holding his hands up, as though he is trying to defend himself. “Yes hyung, I do know better. And that’s why I was trying to get my dad to tell me what his intentions with you were.”
“His intentions? Kookie, you’ve been reading too many of those regency romance novels in Taehyung’s room.” The two men chuckle at Yoongi’s joke. “I can see now that you were coming from a really caring place, but I didn’t understand that then. It just seemed like I was causing problems between you and Jimin and I didn’t want that. It made me literally sick to my stomach.”
Jungkook nods his head and then grabs Yoongi’s hand, leading them both to the oversized couch in the living room. He doesn’t let go as they sit next to each other. “I get that, hyung. But I promise you weren’t coming between us. If anything, I think my misguided overprotectiveness was coming between you and my dad.” He shrugs, a slight blush on his cheeks the only indication that he feels the tiniest bit of embarrassment for his actions, and then he clears his throat. “Hyung, you didn’t hurt me, but I can’t say the same for my dad.”
That’s honestly surprising to Yoongi. Even with Jimin admitting to having feelings for him, he really didn’t think the older man would be too affected by Yoongi’s disappearing act. “Oh, um… Jimin is upset with me?”
“Seriously, Yoongi-hyung? Need I revisit the part where you spent the night with and then disappeared the next morning?” Jungkook crooks his eyebrow at Yoongi and just stares at him, saying nothing further.
“In my defense, I don’t have his number.”
“Give me your fucking phone.” Jungkook rolls his eyes and sticks his hand out towards Yoongi.
Yoongi reluctantly unlocks his phone and hands it over to Jungkook. He cringes as he watches the force the younger man uses on his phone screen. “Kookie, why are you so angry with my phone?”
“I’m not angry with your phone. I am frustrated with you and my dad. Do you know you both said practically the same thing? ‘In my defense, I don’t have his number.’ You are both so annoying. And who tells someone that they are in love with them but doesn’t get their number? Now who is living in one of Tae’s regency romances, hyung?” Jungkook finally locks Yoongi’s phone and hands it back to him. “There, now you have his number. I saved it under Jungkook’s Dad.”
Yoongi’s phone fumbles out of his hand and lands with a soft thud on the carpeted floor, he scrambles to pick it back up. “Jungkook! Why would you go through all of that if you actually have a problem with me being with your dad?”
“Oh, I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just payback for you both being so infuriating. And when I get home, I am saving your number in my dad’s phone as Jungkook’s barely legal friend. Maybe one of you will get your shit together, because this has been absolutely painful.”
Yoongi covers his face, trying to hide his embarrassment and the fact that he actually finds Jungkook’s antics funny, before he remembers something else Jungkook had said. He jerks his head up and looks into Jungkook’s eyes. “I never told him that I love him.”
“Huh?” Jungkook tilts his head to the side. Yoongi has to stifle a chuckle at the way Jungkook looks like a dog trying to understand his human.
“I never told your dad that I love him and I never thought I would never see him again, so that’s why I didn’t get his number.”
“So the first and only time you told my dad that you love him was in our kitchen, in front of me, while basically saying goodbye forever? Oh, Yoongi-hyung. You really suck at relationships.”
Yoongi leans over and smacks Jungkook on the arm. “Be nice to your hyung.” Wait. “I told him I loved him?” Suddenly, Yoongi is trying to dissect every word, every moment of the last time he saw Jimin.
I love you, hyung, I really do. But my love can’t come before your bond with your son.
Fucking hell. Yoongi really did tell Jimin he loved him in the Park kitchen. In front of Jungkook. Before walking away for what he thought would be forever. “Jungkookie, I fucking suck.” Yoongi whines as he covers his face, once again.
“Well, finally some truth around here.”
Yoongi jerks his hands away from his face at the sound of the new voice and he sees Kim Taehyung standing behind Jungkook.
“Yah, Tae-ah, be nice to me. Can’t you see I’m going through it here?” Yoongi pouts and notices Jungkook shaking his head at him. That’s when he realizes Jungkook is mouthing the words He doesn’t know anything, I didn’t tell him.
And, well, that’s kind of surprising. Yoongi assumed Jungkook had told Taehyung what was going on, they are dating after all, but then he remembers how Tae kept saying he didn’t understand why Yoongi was avoiding Jungkook. He had just assumed that his roommate just didn’t think the fact that Yoongi was caught sleeping with Jungkook’s dad was a reason to stop talking to him, which to be fair, in hindsight, it really wasn’t.
Yoongi feels Taehyung settle next to him on the couch and reach for his hand. The gentle touch catches him off guard. “Hyung, whatever you are going through, you know I’m here for you. And so is Kookie.” A big boxy grin appears on the younger man’s face before continuing. “I’m just glad you two are talking again.”
The sincerity in Taehyung’s words and expression compel Yoongi to share everything. It wasn’t Jungkook’s story to tell, which Yoongi really appreciates, because now Yoongi can share on his own terms.
“I’m honestly not surprised, hyung. This is kinda your thing.” Taehyung says when all the cards are finally laid out on the table, Yoongi finally able to let go of the weight of holding onto the truth.
“What do you mean this is kinda my thing?” Yoongi asks.
“Self-destruction. You worry so much that you will fuck everything up that you end up fucking everything up. But… it sounds like make you can un-fuck this situation with Jungkook’s dad?”
“Please never say un-fuck and my dad in the same sentence again. What is wrong with you? Don’t you think I have been through enough? Jesus Christ, I saw Yoongi-hyung’s bare ass. In. My. Dad’s. Bed.” Jungkook shivers as he is obviously having flashbacks of that dreaded morning.
Mortification. That’s all Yoongi can feel. He would have been happy going to his grave believing that Jungkook found out he was in their apartment that morning because of his stupid, red converse shoes sitting by the front door.
“Just kill me now. Can we please never talk about this again?” Yoongi pleads, but he still can’t make eye contact with Jungkook.
Jungkook nods and stands up from his spot on the couch. “Absolutely. Anyways, I am going to head home. Yoongi-hyung?” Jungkook pauses and waits until Yoongi finally looks up. “Give me about an hour to put your number in my dad’s phone, and then you can reach out to him, yeah?”
Yoongi just nods and whispers a small “thank you” as Taehyung leads Jungkook to the front door and kisses him goodbye before the younger one disappears from the doorway.
The thought of waiting a whole hour to text Jimin, now that he has his number in his own phone, sounds like utter torture. But he’s gone his entire life without sending the love of his life a text, he supposes he can wait sixty more minutes. Besides, it seems he really does owe Jungkook the opportunity to play his joke on his father. The younger man has been through a lot because of Yoongi and Jimin, so it only seems fair to let him have this one thing.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
My son’s barely legal friend: Hey, hyung. It’s Yoongi.
Jungkook’s Dad: Why is your number programmed in my phone as my son’s barely legal friend?
Yoongi decides a phone call might make things easier to explain everything to Jimin. He holds his breath while he waits for the call to connect.
“Yoongi-yah?”
Yoongi lets out the breath he was holding. Hearing Jimin’s voice for the first time in almost a month causes something to break and then begin to heal inside Yoongi. And the only way he knows how to deal with it is to let out the tears that he feels gathering at the corners of his eyes.
“Baby, don’t cry, please. You’re breaking my heart, little one.”
And, oh, Yoongi doesn’t know what hurts more, hearing Jimin call him “baby” or “little one.” They both mean so much to him. Simple terms of endearment that Jimin used while they explored each other’s bodies and it just makes Yoongi miss Jimin that much more.
“Miss you so much, hyung. I’m so sorry. For everything.” Yoongi whispers through his tears.
“Oh, baby. I miss you, too. But, first. Can you try and calm down for me? Take some deep breaths for me.”
Jimin’s gentle voice is calming and Yoongi tries to follow his advice. He takes a few deep, shuddering breaths.
“Good boy.”
And Yoongi is suddenly shuddering for an entirely different reason, unable to stop the tiny whine that escapes at Jimin’s words. He hears Jimin’s chuckle on the other end of the phone.
“Oh? We will definitely have to revisit that later.”
If Jimin was in front of Yoongi, he’s sure Jimin would have one of those sexy smirks on his face.
“Now, tell me. How is your number in my phone and why is it saved as ‘my son’s barely legal friend’?”
“Ah, that would be Jungkook. He programmed you into mine as ‘Jungkook’s dad’.”
Another chuckle from the older man and then he speaks into the phone again. “How very passive-aggressive matchmaker of him. I’m honestly not surprised. So does this mean that you two have talked?”
“Yeah.” Yoongi whispers into the phone, a smile spreading across his face as he thinks of his best friend. “You did really good with him, hyung. Jungkookie is amazing, he isn’t even mad at me. He explained he was more worried about you taking advantage of me than us actually being together.”
Yoongi hears Jimin let out a heavy breath. “I’m relieved that you two finally worked things out. I know he missed you. I missed you, Yoongi-yah. I missed you so damn much.”
“God, I missed you too, Jimin-hyung. I’m sorry I disappeared. I just… I just thought it was for the best considering everything that was happening that morning. But I didn’t mean to hurt you or Jungkook. I thought what I was doing would keep you both from being hurt.”
Yoongi is overwhelmed with emotions again, remembering how lonely and isolated he felt without Jungkook and Jimin in his life. And all due to his own misplaced actions.
“I know, baby. I understand. I’m just so happy that you reached out. I’m really proud of you for being so brave, little one.”
They end up talking on the phone for hours. Yoongi asks Jimin if he can come over in a tiny voice and has to try and hide the disappointment in his voice when the older man shares that he is leaving in the morning for a business trip. Jimin shares that he still needs to pack and, while he doesn’t regret a single moment spent speaking to Yoongi on the phone, he has stayed up much later than he had attended.
While Yoongi understands that Jimin can’t change his plans simply because Yoongi finally was able to find the courage to reach out to the older man, it doesn’t mean that he isn’t disappointed. He finds solace in the fact that Jimin will be back on Friday, in the late afternoon, just in time for Yoongi to spend Friday evening with him. To Yoongi, the timing seems kind of perfect since Friday nights have been special for him and Jimin. As he drifts to sleep, with a smile on his face for the first time in weeks, he hopes he can make all of the preparations he needs to in the next three days.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.
To say Yoongi has been busy over the last three days would be an understatement. The first thing he did was reach out to Jungkook and let him know he wanted to surprise Jimin when he arrived home from his trip. After some teasing, Jungkook agreed to Yoongi coming over on Friday where the younger would let him in before leaving to spend the night at Yoongi and Taehyung’s dorm.
Jungkook shared with Yoongi that kimchi jjigae is Jimin’s favorite dish so Yoongi decided to shop for the ingredients on Friday morning and cook the meal in the Park kitchen. The younger even promised to set out some of Jimin’s favorite candles for the dining table, letting Yoongi know that the older man doesn’t care for heavy scents. Of course, for all of Jungkook’s help he had to promise to send some of the stew with Jungkook to share with Taehyung. Yoongi figured it was the least he could do to repay the younger’s kindness and assistance.
Unsurprisingly, convincing Jungkook to help him was actually the easiest task in Yoongi’s plan. True to his word, the younger man has shown no signs of having any issues with Yoongi being with his father. Yoongi knows he is beyond lucky to have befriended such an amazing, kind and loving person like Jungkook, forever grateful that he was paired up with Jungkook in their shared class.
The most daunting task on Yoongi’s list was the most important, in his opinion. Though Jimin said Yoongi would never have to bottom for him if he didn’t want to, it has definitely been on Yoongi’s mind. Of course, the feeling of being inside Jimin was something that he will never forget, and he isn’t sure that anything could ever feel better, he does wonder what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of the kind of pleasure that had Jimin’s toes curling and back arching so beautifully.
So, Yoongi researches and researches. He still can’t believe he watched a video of someone “finding their prostate” using a Gatorade bottle. That is thirty seconds of his life he will never get back. But luckily, he was able to find much more helpful tutorials on the internet and some surprisingly detailed gay smut. No one needs to know that he bookmarked that website to visit in the future when he wasn’t on a mission.
Once Yoongi felt like he had done as much research as he possibly could, he finally tried to apply what he learned. The experiments weren’t exactly terrible… but they weren’t life-changing either. Deep down, Yoongi knew there would be a possibility that he might not enjoy bottoming, but he had hoped. Honestly, he doesn’t even know why he has made it into such a big deal in his head, except that maybe he thought it would be something he could do to show Jimin how much he trusts him, how much he loves him.
Yes, he is perfectly aware how ridiculous that is, but Yoongi is new to all of this hearts and flowers and romance shit. Flowers! I should totally get some flowers for Jimin. Yeah, I think he would like that. Completely distracted, Yoongi adds flowers to his shopping list for Friday morning.
By the time Friday afternoon arrives, Yoongi is a bundle of nerves. He has adjusted the dishes, candles and flowers on the dining table at least twenty times. But it’s for Jimin, so it has to be perfect. When he hears the keypad on the front door beep and whir, he holds his breath and makes his way to the living room, waiting for Jimin to finally walk in. He has waited for this moment for three long days and now that it is here, he is second-guessing every single decision he has made up to this point.
Yoongi watches as Jimin steps into the foyer, the older man sighs as he drops his bag next to his wheeled suitcase. As Jimin removes his shoes and sets them on the shoe rack, Yoongi thinks he looks tired and, once again, Yoongi is questioning whether surprising the older man was a good idea. Suddenly, there is no more time to wonder as Jimin turns and sees Yoongi standing in his apartment.
Jimin halts his movements, eyes wide as though not believing what he is seeing. “Yoongi-yah?”
That one word propels Yoongi into motion, he is rushing to Jimin and jumping into his arms, the older man shaking off his shock quickly to catch the ice-blonde creature barrelling into his space. Immediately, Yoongi’s lips are crashing into Jimin’s. The kiss is instantly deep, tongues twining and teeth clacking against each other.
Pulling back, Yoongi whispers against Jimin’s neck where his face is buried, “Missed you so much, Jimin-hyung.” It’s then he realizes they are standing in Jimin’s living room, his legs and arms wrapped around the older man’s body.
Sheepishly, Yoongi begins to untangle himself from Jimin’s hold, setting his feet back on solid ground. Looking up into Jimin’s face, Yoongi can still see the fatigue he saw when he first walked in but there is also a glimmer in the older man’s eyes, one that seems to say he is happy to see Yoongi.
“Is this okay? That I’m here, I mean?” Yoongi knows that Jimin most likely wouldn’t kick him out, no matter how tired he is, but he still needs to hear the words from the older man. Needs to know that Jimin wants to be with him right now as much as he wants to be Jimin.
Jimin’s arms tighten around Yoongi’s back, pulling him closer to Jimin’s chest. “Baby, of course it’s okay. Best surprise ever.” Jimin leans closer and softly brushes his lips against Yoongi’s.
A big, genuine smile spreads across Yoongi’s face, straight teeth and gums on full display. “Just wait, the surprise might get better.”
Jimin crooks his eyebrow up at Yoongi’s words but Yoongi doesn’t answer his unspoken question, just grabs Jimin’s hand and leads him to the dining table. He tells Jimin to take a seat and lets him know he will be back. When he returns, his hands are full of a steaming pot of kimchi jjigae, Jimin already having poured them both a glass of whiskey from the bottle that was on the table.
Jimin looks around the table, taking in the flowers and candles. “Baby, what is this? You didn’t have to go to all of this trouble. We could have ordered in.” Yoongi removes the lid from the pot and Jimin’s face immediately lights up. “Kimchi jjigae? That’s my favorite! How did you know?”
Yoongi blushes as he takes a seat next to Jimin. “I may have had some help from a passive-aggressive matchmatcher.”
If possible, Jimin’s smile gets even bigger, eyes practically disappearing. “Kookie helped?” Yoongi nods at Jimin’s question. “I guess that makes sense, seeing as you were already inside when I got here.” A chuckle and Jimin begins ladling the stew into their bowls.
Later, after they have finished their dinner and enjoyed another glass of whiskey between endless kisses while cuddling on the couch, Jimin suggests a bubble bath. Yoongi shared he hadn’t had a bubble bath since he was a child and Jimin just couldn’t wait to show the younger the luxury of soaking in a bubble-filled tub.
Once Jimin prepares the bath water, in the largest bathtub Yoongi thinks he has ever seen, Yoongi finds himself sitting in front of Jimin, his back to the older man’s chest. Jimin has his arms wrapped around Yoongi and is gently tracing his fingers up and down Yoongi’s arms and chest. Yoongi feels so light, relaxed in a way he hasn’t in weeks.
“Little one?” Jimin’s breath skates across the back of Yoongi’s neck.
“Hmm?”
“Is Kookie coming back tonight?”
Yoongi looks at Jimin over his shoulder. “No. He is staying with Taehyung tonight. Why?”
Between brushes of his plump lips against Yoongi’s, Jimin whispers, “Will you stay the night?”
“That was the plan, hyung.” Yoongi smirks against Jimin’s lips.
When the water turns tepid, Jimin helps Yoongi out of the tub, accompanied by the younger’s grumbles about how comfortable he was. Jimin promises he will be even more comfortable in bed so Yoongi lets the older man dry him off and lead him to his soft king-sized bed. As he lays amongst the fluffy pillows and silky sheets, he remembers he was supposed to take care of Jimin tonight, not the other way around. So he pouts.
“What’s this? You can’t tell me the bed isn’t more comfortable than the tub, little one.” Jimin grins at him as he strokes Yoongi’s pouty bottom lip.
Yoongi sighs. “No, it is more comfy. It’s just… You looked so tired when you came home, I just wanted to take care of you, for a change. I wanted to show you that if you take a chance on me, it won’t always be you doing for me, like it has been. You do so much for Kookie and for me, I just wanted to spoil you for a change, I guess.”
“Yoongi-yah, what are you talking about? You did take care of me! Dinner was more than I could have asked for. I could tell you put so much thought and effort into it and that means so much to me, baby.” Jimin pulls Yoongi close to his body, wrapping him up in his arms and running his fingers through the younger’s hair. “Hmm, I think because of our age difference, you may always feel like there is this imbalance between us, but, little one, I don’t see it like that. I am just a natural caretaker, so doting on you and spoiling you isn’t an inconvenience for me, it’s everything to me. And no more of this nonsense of if I take a chance on you. Baby, I’m all in. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
And what can Yoongi really say to that? Jimin is right, he probably will always worry that he isn’t doing enough, isn’t good enough for Jimin, but Yoongi will just have to work through those concerns. The one thing he has learned throughout all of this is that he has to communicate how he is feeling, no matter how hard it seems. And maybe reaching out to his old therapist wouldn't hurt either. But he doesn’t need his therapist to say what he feels right now.
“Jimin, I love you.” Yoongi doesn’t whisper the words against Jimin’s skin like he wants to. No, he says them with confidence as he holds Jimin’s gaze. And he’s so glad that he does because if he had hidden his face like he wanted to, he would have missed out on the love he currently sees reflected on Jimin’s face. This moment was worth being brave for.
“I love you too, Yoongi-yah.”
It seems only fitting to seal their words with a kiss. Their lips meet, softly brushing against each other, but it quickly turns heated. Yoongi is hungry for Jimin’s touch, missed it so much, one night not near enough to hold him over during those lonely nights while they were apart. He tells Jimin as much, shares how much he wants him, how much he missed his touch.
Like their last time together, Yoongi ends up on his back on the bed, naked, coated in sweat. He is writhing in pleasure as Jimin takes his length into his perfect, plush mouth and doesn’t stop until the older man’s nose is resting against the sensitive skin of Yoongi’s lower torso. Through the haze of his pleasure, Yoongi remembers his final plan for this evening and grabs for the lube Jimin left on the bed next to them. Gently, he slips the bottle into the hand that Jimin has resting against Yoongi’s left hip.
Jimin releases Yoongi’s cock with a loud pop and questioning look, quirking his brow. “Impatient? Want me to prep myself already?” Jimin asks, one of his signature sexy smirks spreading across his gorgeous face.
It’s enough to have Yoongi temporarily forget his objective, the older man’s expression and words having a profound effect on Yoongi’s libido. Shaking his head, he snaps out of it and reminds himself of all those experiments in his dorm room while Jimin was on his business trip.
With a blush and unable to hold Jimin’s gaze, Yoongi mumbles, “Want you to prep me.”
Shock causes both of Jimin’s eyebrows to lift, practically into the man’s honey-blonde hairline. “What are you saying, baby?”
Covering his reddening face with his arms, Yoongi whines, “Don’t make me say it, hyung.”
“Oh, you are absolutely going to say it. If you can’t say it out loud, you aren’t ready for it, Yoongi-yah.”
Yoongi feels his arms being gently pried from his flaming hot face and he is surprised when he doesn’t see humor or mirth on Jimin’s face, but concern. Sitting straight up, Yoongi scoots closer to Jimin, wanting to be as close as possible to the man as he lays all of his worries and insecurities into Jimin’s hands.
He takes a deep breath. “I want to bottom for you. And this isn’t something that I am just saying in the heat of the moment, I have spent the last three days thinking about it. I even- Well, I did some research and tried it myself. It wasn’t great…” Yoongi realizes how that might sound to Jimin so he jerks his eyes up to look at Jimin before he continues. “But it wasn’t bad either! And I just think it would be a lot better with you than by myself, you know? I just- I love you so much, Jimin-hyung, and I thought this would be the ultimate way to show you how much I love you and trust you. So yeah. I want to try it with you.”
Yoongi wants to look away from Jimin, break their shared gaze, but he knows he shouldn’t, no matter how uncomfortable it is for him. It’s not even that prolonged eye contact has always been hard for him. No. It’s more about being able to read every emotion Jimin is processing on his face. Yoongi sees what he thinks is disbelief followed by adoration flitter in Jimin’s eyes. But, it’s the expression that looks suspiciously like disappointment that has Yoongi holding his breath and bracing for Jimin’s response.
“Yoongi-yah, bottoming for me is not- I would love to- Ugh, this is hard.” Jimin sighs and takes Yoongi’s hand in his own before continuing. “I love you. But you don’t have to prove anything to me, especially your love or trust in me. Yes, we had a rough patch, but neither of us handled that well, it’s not all on you. Do you understand?” Jimin is rewarded with a nod from Yoongi. “Okay, now that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t love to bury myself deep inside you. If that’s what you really want, baby.”
Yoongi shudders. The way Jimin words it has him picturing, imagining what it would be like to have Jimin thrusting inside of him, the tip of his perfectly thick cock grazing against his prostate and Yoongi realizes he really really wants that. It’s no longer about proving anything and only about feeling as close as possible to Jimin, being vulnerable and knowing that he can trust Jimin with his vulnerability.
“I want that. Want you inside me, hyung. Please?” Yoongi whispers against Jimin’s lips causing the older man to groan and Yoongi finds himself falling back on the bed, Jimin looming over him, feeling very much like the older man’s prey. But he isn’t scared one bit. On the contrary, he loves everything about the feeling.
What seems like hours later, Jimin finally deems Yoongi prepped enough to take Jimin. Yoongi is trembling, every inch of his body coated in a light sheen of sweat, writhing and whining when Jimin retracts his fingers from his virgin hole.
“Shh, baby. I’ve got you. You’re okay, yeah?” Jimin whispers against the sensitive skin beneath Yoongi’s ear.
The older man had told Yoongi that it would be easier for his first time on his hands and knees but Yoongi is stubborn. He can’t imagine experiencing the feeling of Jimin being inside him for the first time and not being able to see his handsome face. Didn’t make any sense in Yoongi’s opinion.
When Yoongi feels the head of Jimin’s cock prodding at his lube-slick entrance, he tries to remember all of his research, taking a deep breath and relaxing his muscles as much as possible. Both men groan as Jimin slips past the first ring of muscle but it doesn’t burn like Yoongi thought it would, like it did when he fingered himself. Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that Jimin had used four fingers to thoroughly stretch him.
“Fuck, baby, you’re still so tight. Feel so fucking good.” Jimin huffs as he continues to slowly glide his entire length inside Yoongi, both men shuddering when he finally bottoms out. “Okay?” Jimin whispers, breath fanning across Yoongi’s face and lips.
Yoongi moans and wiggles just a tiny little bit. “So full. Just give me a minute, hyung.” His words come out almost choked, his chest heaving with his deep breaths.
Trying not to jostle Yoongi too much, Jimin moves his hand from the back of Yoongi’s thigh to the side of his face, cupping his cheek. “Take all the time you need, baby.”
The younger focuses on relaxing, focuses on how close he feels to Jimin. Granted, the intimacy of being inside Jimin was pretty overwhelming, but there’s just something that makes him feel a little more exposed, a little more unguarded in this position. But he doesn’t hate it because he knows that Jimin will keep him safe, Jimin will take care of him.
Finally, Yoongi nods letting Jimin know he is ready. Instantly, the pleasure is devastating, in the best way. Jimin starts slow and it feels so good but then he quickly increases the pace and Yoongi feels like he is already barreling towards his release. With every thrust, Jimin’s cock is rubbing over Yoongi’s prostate, Yoongi’s own cock laying painfully hard against his stomach, precum leaking more than it ever has before. He finds he is unable to do anything but lay back on the bed and take what Jimin is giving him. Before he knows it, tears are streaming from Yoongi’s eyes, moans and whines falling from his lips.
Jimin is wiping the tears away from his cheeks as he speaks in hushed whispers. “Are you okay, baby? Do you need me to stop?”
“Don’t you dare fucking stop, Park Jimin.” Yoongi clutches his hands around Jimin’s shoulders and tightens his legs around the older man’s hips, as though afraid he will actually pull away mid-thrust.
Chuckling, Jimin resumes his powerful thrusts and grinds. “Okay, baby. Not gonna stop until you cum for hyung, then.”
Yoongi cums. Completely untouched. Thick, white ropes spray against his taut stomach and heaving chest. Distantly, he can feel Jimin’s thrusts become more erratic and then cease as a warmth spreads inside of his still-quivering hole.
Jimin is quick to clean Yoongi up, being so gentle and careful with his overworked rim. They’re cuddled together on fresh sheets, wearing pajama pants just in case Jungkook comes home before they wake up this time. Yoongi refuses to let his friend see him naked again, if he can help it.
Deciding he needs to continue to be brave, to ask the hard questions and let his feelings be known, Yoongi speaks in the quiet room, the only light coming from the small bedside lamp casting a soft golden glow across the bed. “Hyung, are we boyfriends now?”
A little giggle can be heard from above Yoongi, where Jimin’s head is resting against his own. “Is that what you want, little one? Want me to be your first boyfriend?”
“First and last boyfriend.”
Jimin scoots down so he can see Yoongi’s face, expression serious. “Last?”
Yoongi nods his head. “I know I’m young, hyung, but I can’t imagine that I am ever going to feel like this about anyone else. You are it for me. So first and last. If you’ll have me.”
“The last boyfriend… has a nice ring to it, Yoongi-yah. I love you.”
“Love you too. Boyfriend.”
Staring into each other’s eyes, neither can hold back their giggles. It takes them a while to curb their laughter, but once they do, they settle back into their previous positions, limbs wrapped around each other.
Yoongi is more content than he has ever been in his life. He knows that dating an older man won’t be easy but he has never really been known for doing things the easy way. If there is anything that is worth the struggle and hard work, it is definitely loving Jimin.
. 。・゜✭・.・✫゜・。.