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He chose to walk away. Colin is fully cognizant of his decision to leave Delissandro years ago and in the larger picture, he doesn't regret it. After witnessing what Deli turned out to be, Colin believes he made the right decision. But he is made of parts, and although the largest part of himself he chose to follow is his moral compass, there is a smaller part in himself that has mourned and is still mourning the fact he's no longer by Deli's side.
He's done a pretty good job of ignoring that part of him over the years. But now, meeting Deli again, that part of him demands to resurface. The thing is this: Colin probably wouldn't feel this ache if only Deli was not with the girl. He's been aware of Karna's feelings for Deli many years ago and he knew he didn't have to be bothered about it because it was him that was fighting alongside Deli.
But now?
"She's my new Skald," Deli whispers and Colin is acutely aware of the way the man is looking at him as the words rolled out of his tongue. He thinks: how do you want me to react? But he doesn't say it. Instead, Colin shrugs and says, "Okay."
If it sounded bitter, Colin doesn't care much. And by the look of it, neither does Deli.
His gaze drifts away to Karna who's standing over by Raphaniel and the ache in his chest is even more present. The thing is this: it would've not mattered if Deli decided to keep the title he conveniently made up to for Colin and gave it to someone else. But the fact that it was given to Karna, of all people, stings.
I guess instead of advisor, Skald is a title you grant to those who adore you, Colin thinks, but he keeps quiet. He doesn't want the bitterness to seep out of him again. Not when it was him who pointedly told Deli that he could keep his Skald.
What he says instead: "Wow, so she's the new Skald. Cool, that's awesome."
Deli looks at him funny for a moment. Colin wishes it's not because he's proving something in his head.
"Well, she's proved herself in a lot of ways," Deli responds and all Colin could think of was the first time Deli met and hired him for his sword, all the times Colin used his body as Deli's shield, the damages he took for him. Colin thinks of the time they fought side by side in Carn, the nights they spent drinking together, drunk Deli and his loose tongue confiding his secret to Colin.
He thinks of all of that and he aches. The pain spreads over his chest and his arms, the tips of his fingers that are twitching around his sword. Colin takes a deep breath and his lungs hurt, so he allows himself another bitterness and he says, "Yeah. So have I."