"Who are you?" "Who am I?" I asked, but received no reply

by Anonymous

Chapter 2: Sunday 06/29

Hey it's OWN! Didn't get to write last time so I'm doing it now. i should probably just shut up but yk it's whatever Mafuyu was watching music analysis videos earlier. I'm glad they found something to give them that spark of interest in their eyes like medicine used to do. We should be doing that right now but I can never really get this body to do exactly what I want. I'm probably the one who gets us in the most trouble. Idk why Hana and the others are so nice to me, honestly feels like it would be better to lock myself away forever. I was moving around too much which caused Mom to be annoyed. This room is too small to move around in, hey Mafuyu you should get a bigger one some day :3 I almost caused us to relapse earlier. Hana stopped me which is good. I hate how much trouble I always cause. Aha I sound pathetic rn sorry, sorry. I wish Mafuyu and Hana could experience more emotions but I'm sorta glad it's that and not too many like me. It causes unnecessary trouble. Just like It's better they don't remember everything. 

 

 

I was looking at colleges again during my break as Mom suggested. I want to major in nursing and minor in music. I don't know if I'll be allowed to do that. Part of us want to do what we want and cut contact but I don't want to lose Mom, she cares so much. She expects me to get full ride scholarships. I don't know if I'll be good enough, my grades are dropping a little, I didn't have a 4.0 GPA last semester. I am also not the best at some of the subjects required. Mom seemed disappointed in me today, i need to do better for her. I'm tired, goodnight. I miss Niigo.

 

-Mafuyu

 

Mafuyu please don't push yourself too hard. You don't have to figure it all out now, and the rest of Niigo will always be waiting for you. We haven't eaten all day, it's too late to get anything now but please get something in the morning. Even if it's only a little bit. You're all tired, please get some rest, it's affecting your mental health. I'll keep watch as always, tomorrow is another day and we can deal with things then.

 

-Hana

Notes:

To make things simpler for writing this:
-mafuyu is still living with her mom, probably after saying goodbye to my persona but if she never ran away
-no one else knows about them probably having osdd (which is a less severe form of DID)
-they are genderfluid/nonbinary (I think it's called demi-fluid or smth) but only bc I am, ill probably use she/her in the notes out of habit though. They are out to Mizuki but that's it (Mizuki was the one who helped them realize)
-name Hana bc I ran out of names and Kanade likes the flower carnations (ik I'm so original)