Work Text:
Barack watched the television, playing an episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. With Michelle and the kids off on a weekend getaway he was alone in the house. He sank lower into the couch waiting for the guest to appear, pulling a blanket across his lap while checking his phone. When the familiar music started to play he set his phone down and looked up, immediately faltering.
On screen was his forbidden love, Harry Styles. Looking as breathtaking as ever; clad in a suit that fit his frame and clung to his hips. Barack took a moment to regain his composure. Even though it had been years and he had been living comfortably with his beautiful wife and amazing daughters after the end of his highly successful two term presidency, he has never been able to shake off his relationship with Harry.
Barack mostly had a handle on himself, he could keep his emotions for his love away from the public eye. But when he was away at home, with no one around, he let himself experience his emotions without hindrance.
But not this weekend. Michelle has specifically asked him to relax while she was away with the girls. This weekend was supposed to be peaceful. Barack decided to challenge himself, he could watch his favorite show without breaking down. He could not continue to live a life where his unrequited love could ruin his day.
Determined, he directed his focus back to the television. Harry Styles was now sitting down with Jimmy Fallon, the beginning of the interview was just starting. Barack watched as the usual questions about music, the band, and life were asked. Barack was proud of himself, he had gotten a decent way through the episode while keeping his poise.
Maybe he was finally getting over it. The affair had taken a toll on his marriage, but through counseling and hefty confessions Michelle was able to understand why Barack violated the sanctity of their marriage. Jimmy Fallon began to ask Harry about relationships. Questions about current love interests and past relationships filled Barack’s ears. He was sure he could do this, he made Michelle a promise. He listened as Harry answered the questions.
“No, I’ve never been with a man.”
Barack inhaled sharply.
After everything they had done together, Harry couldn’t even confirm he had been with a man? Barack was insulted, it wasn’t like Harry hadn’t been on and off with Louis Tomlinson through their relationship. Was Harry that ashamed? Ashamed to admit he had once loved a man?
Every secret meeting, every phone call, every text message, and Harry had the nerve to say he had never been with a man. The television continued to play on in the background but Barack heard on of it. He felt frozen against the couch.
Memories washed over him; the memories of the time they spent together. Every sweet word, every pet name, every stolen kiss that had turned to more. All denied with seven words. Barack felt tears prick his eyes and begin to fall. He was wrong, he wasn’t over it and he would never be over it.
The time they were together were some of the best moments of Barack’s life. But obviously to Harry he was nothing more than a hookup. Barack felt numb. Tears continued to stream down his face and soak his shirt as sobs racked his body.
He doesn’t know how long he cried for, but when he woke up the next morning his shirt was still damp and his face felt swollen. Barack managed to pick himself up for a shower. The hot water burned his skin, but the pain was nothing compared to the shame he felt. He continued to scrub at his face long past the time the water began to run cold.
When he finally got out he was in no mood for breakfast. Throwing on another pair of pajamas, there was no way he would be able to face the world today. Barack climbed into his empty bed, his girls would be home the next day. All he wanted was for Michelle to hold him while he cried. He felt the same he did the night the National Examiner published the story.
The fight he had with Harry broke him. The dark hole he fell into is a place he never wants to find himself in again. It’s the reason he legalized gay marriage within the United States. Every feeling he had the night off the fight was fresh in his mind like a reopened wound.
He felt the tears began to fell once again. Deep in his heart he knew that it had to hurt Harry too. Their love was too pure and raw to not affect him.
“I’ll love you forever, Harry.” Barack whispered into the air, “Maybe in another life, it was you and me. Maybe then I’ll be your man.”