Wake Me Up Inside (Save Me)

by ashleyfanfic

Summary:

Eddie is shocked to find that Chrissy is his daughter's teacher. But happiness has a hard time lingering with him, when ever corner he turns around, it seems as if he's losing.

Chrissy was equally surprised to see that Eddie had moved back to town and had a five year old daughter. Despite her desire to get closer to him, her past trauma has a way of kicking her when she's down.

Luckily for them both, they have friends who like to meddle.

Notes:

Okie dokie, so yeah, new fic. I've been working on Possession, but this kicked me in the head the other day and I had to write it. So, here we are.

A HUGE thanks to my boo, Justwanderingneverlost. She betaed this thing for me, even though I told her before hand that I cried through a good portion of it. The tears are not over, but it's always nice to have a good cry every now and then. But she's not in this fandom and still did me the solid of betaing this. She's the best and I would be nothing without her!

Chapter 1: This Pain Is Just Too Real

 

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
All of me... me... me...

My Immortal
Evanescence

 

Eddie stood outside his SUV and stared up at the building. He hadn’t been to Hawkins Elementary School since he left the hallowed halls after, then attending middle school. He heaved a sigh, his bangs fluttering away from his eyes. 

 

The summer heat still hung heavy in the air, his t-shirt clinging to his skin. Other parents had gathered closer to the door, but his experience with people in Hawkins left a bad taste in his mouth, so he stayed by his car. He wasn’t ready to join the PTA or a parent’s group. He kept his sunglasses pulled over his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, and legs crossed at the ankles as he waited for the rush of kids to spill through the double doors. 

 

The bell rang, and soon enough, they came bursting out, loud voices yelling or laughing. Some running, a few skipping, others straggling behind. He scanned the exuberant rush of them for the familiar, little blonde head full of curls. Soon he saw her, construction paper gripped in her hand, bow askew, cheeks red as she grinned and ran to him. 

 

“Daddy!” She jumped into his open arms and he lifted her over his head, then spun her once. 

 

“Izzy!”

 

Her giggles were infectious and before he knew it, he was laughing with her. He set her back on her feet and crouched down in front of her. “Daddy! You’re all sweaty!”

 

“Oh, boo! I guess we’ll have to swim in the lake when we get home!”

 

“Really!?”

 

He nodded. “Yep.”

 

“What about Pawpaw?”

 

“Pawpaw said he’s gonna make hamburgers and work the grill which means he can’t swim.”

 

“Ugh,” she sighed dramatically. 

 

He stood up to his full height and realized she was missing something. “Izzy, where's your backpack?”

 

Her eyes widened. “I left it on my desk. I’ll go get it. Will you come with me?”

 

“Try to stop me,” he said and held his hand out to her. They walked back towards the school and once tucked inside the air conditioned building, he perched his sunglasses on top of his head and allowed Izzy to tug him with her. 

 

“You get to meet my teacher.”

 

“Oh goodie,” he deadpanned, but his sweet daughter didn’t understand sarcasm. “Does the teacher have a name or is it just ‘teacher’?”

 

“Of course she has a name, silly.” She opened the door to the classroom right as Izzy declared, “It’s Miss Cunningham.”

 

Eddie stopped in the doorway as Izzy released his hand. His heart stopped beating momentarily, Izzy’s little voice declaring to Chrissy Cunningham, the Chrissy Cunningham, that she’d left her backpack. Her blond hair was pulled back, her bangs hanging down to just above her eyes. She had on a yellow dress with white daisies and a white sweater over top, and shoes with a small heel. She looked like an absolute dream. 

 

So much so he could've been in the Wayne’s World scene where everything went fuzzy around the edges and ‘Dreamweaver’ started playing.

 

“I was just about to run it outside to see if I could catch you,” Chrissy answered before her eyes suddenly lifted to his. His breath caught again. Her already bright smile became blinding. “Eddie!?”

 

“Cunningham,” he finally said and stepped into the room. She rushed forward and hugged him, much to his surprise. He hugged her back. Of course he hugged her back. She was the first person, besides Wayne and Harington, who was glad to see him in this fucking town. She released him, and her eyes seemed to twinkle at him. 

 

“You must really be surprised if you’re speechless,” she joked.

 

He let out a laugh. “Yeah. Pretty fuc— freaking shocked.”

 

Izzy looked up at him. “You almost said a naughty word.”

 

“Fine. Fifty cents in the jar when we get home,” he offered.

 

“Ok. But if you do say it, I get the whole dollar.”

 

Chrissy laughed, her hands going to her hips. “You keep him in line, don’t you?”

 

“Daddy says it’s my job. And PawPaw says take every job serious.”

 

“Seriously,” Eddie corrected gently. 

 

“Right. Seriously.” She turned to Chrissy. “You know my Daddy?”

 

“We went to middle school and high school together.”

 

“Daddy, you went to school?” Her eyes were nearly bugging out of her head. 

 

“Yeah, I went to school. Everyone goes to school,” he said with a one shoulder shrug. He doesn’t remember ever telling her a story about being in school. He tried to block those out, given how long he was in it.

 

“But PawPaw said you were raised by wolves,” Izzy said up to him, confused. 

 

Chrissy pressed her lips together and Eddie bent over, hands on his knees as he got closer to Izzy. “I’m gonna make PawPaw stop hanging out with you.”

 

“No you won’t,” she sing-songed and giggled when he booped her nose.

 

Eddie huffed out a breath as he stood to his full height. “Kids.”

 

“How long have you been back in Hawkins?”

 

“Month. You?”

 

“A few years. I’m surprised I hadn’t heard about you being back in town. You were always one of Hawkins’ favorite topics.”

 

He didn’t take offense as she didn’t have a mean bone in her body. In fact, Chrissy had been one of the nicest people to ever exist on the planet. He was damn near certain that beneath her perfectly coiffed hair rested a shiny halo. She was also sort of twisting as she said it, her hands tucked behind her back, looking up at him with those bright blue eyes that seemed to sparkle better than any sapphire he’d ever seen. She was teasing him and he sort of relished it. 

 

He rolled his eyes anyway, and huffed out a breath. “Right. Corrupting the local youth. I decided to stop warping other people’s kids and work on my own,” he said, gesturing to Izzy.

 

She giggled. “People are dumb.”

 

“Always have been, always will be.”

 

Chrissy smiled up at him and he felt like he was eighteen all over again. He'd been hit on by models, video vixens, groupies, actresses, and fellow musicians, but it was amazing how being the subject of her perusal would make him nearly weak in the knees. She was still so pretty and so sweet. 

 

“So, how was my little monster, today? She behave or go feral?”

 

Izzy huffed. “I was good,” she reprimanded.

 

“I find that hard to believe,” Eddie teased.

 

“She was delightful,” Chrissy interjected. 

 

“Delightful? This little gremlin?” He pointed down at her. 

 

“I’m not a gremlin! I’m Mogwai!”

 

“Right! I forgot that the gremlin only comes once you eat after midnight.”

 

She nodded and turned her attention to the chain hanging from his wallet. Eddie grinned up at Chrissy who had the most beatific look on her face. It wasn’t just the smile, or the twinkle of her eyes, but the wrinkled nose, the jut of her chin, the slight fidgeting. Chrissy had always been one of a kind, and to see her again after nearly ten years was completely unexpected.

 

“Daddy, can we go? You said we could swim.”

 

He nodded. “Yeah, just a second,” he answered. He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked from his daughter back to Chrissy. “So, uh, Cunningham. Decided to be anti-establishment and buck tradition?”

 

She tilted her head at him, confusion on her face. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, your last name’s not Carver, just sort of took me by surprise.”

 

“Oh, no, Jason and I didn’t get married. Dodged a bullet actually,” she answered and folded her arms over her chest.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Last time I was home I saw the announcement in the paper…”

 

“Yeah, no, it’s fine. He’s living in Arkansas I believe. Married. White picket fence and married to a woman that doesn’t mind being his typical Stepford wife.”

 

“I always knew there was more to you than the little peg they’d put you into.”

 

She smiled at him and began fidgeting with her hands again. “Yeah. What brings you back?”

 

“Stability,” he said with a nod. “My friends, band mates, stayed in LA but I wanted Munchkin here to have better than that world. Bought my old dealer’s place out on Lover’s Lake. Built onto it. Had my uncle move in and retire.”

 

“What do you do for a living?”

 

“I’m… sort of between projects,” he answered. He realized that was hardly a reply that supplied any information, but he wasn’t ready to divulge everything to her upon their first meeting in over ten years. 

 

“Daddy,” Izzy tugged on Eddie’s hand to bring him down to her height. She then whispered into his ear. “Invite her to swim.” He pulled back and looked at Izzy. “She’s nice and your friend.”

 

He cleared his throat, stood, then lifted Izzy into his arms. “Izzy has asked if you would like to come swimming with us?”

 

“Oh!” She seemed surprised but then smiled. “I wish I could, but we have a staff meeting in…” she looked at the clock. “Five minutes.”

 

Eddie nodded. “No worries. Don’t let us keep you.” He looked at Izzy and grinned. “Got everything now?” She nodded and Eddie immediately tucked her under his arm as she giggled. “See ya, Cunningham.”

 

Chrissy giggled and waved. “Bye Eddie. See you tomorrow Izzy!”

 

Eddie tucked Izzy into the car and seat belted her in, then climbed into the front seat. “Miss Cunningham is very nice and you better be good for her every day.”

 

“I will. Don’t worry, Daddy.”

 

He pulled out of the school parking lot and out onto the main road. He couldn’t believe she was still in Hawkins. He thought she had married Carver. Barbie and Ken, living in the perfect house with the perfect kids and the perfect life. He was always the garbage pale kid lurking around the corner hoping for any scrap of attention she might send his way. He wondered what happened between her and Carver and why she stuck around this town that she was entirely too good for. 

 

He listened as Izzy told him about her new friends and how one of the boys gave her some of his grapes if she gave him some of her crackers. If there was one thing he knew about Izzy, it’s that she was an excellent negotiator. 

 

It wasn’t long before he pulled onto the gravel drive, parked beside Wayne’s truck, and killed the engine. He helped Izzy out, and she ran through the front door, dropping her paper and her backpack. He jangled his keys nervously as he approached the house, knowing that the future could change considerably depending on the news that awaited him inside. Wayne was standing in the kitchen working on hamburger patties, hands in the mixing bowl. No better tools than your hands . Wayne was full of helpful information like that. He dropped his keys onto the table beside the door. His uncle didn’t look up at him as he began setting out patties onto a plate. Eddie picked up Izzy’s stuff and put it on the peg beside the door.

 

He cleared his throat and still Wayne didn’t look up. “Did she tell you how her day was?”

 

“No. Only that she was going swimming,” he said with a smile.

 

Eddie chuckled and shook his head. He looked down the hall, the sound of Izzy singing filtering to them. He took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare himself for what was to come. “What did the doctor say?” Wayne only stopped for a moment and sighed, unable to meet his eyes. Eddie’s stomach dropped to his shoes, his heart stopped, too. “No…”

 

Wayne looked up at him, resignation in his eyes. “We knew it probably was… we were just fooling ourselves…”

 

Eddie started pacing. “I’ll find you the best doctors. Whatever you need.”

 

Wayne turned back to the burgers. “We’ll talk about this later, after Izzy has gone to bed.” 

 

Before Eddie could say another word, Izzy came yelling from her room, “I’m ready!”

 

She made for the backdoor but he scooped her up first. “What is the number one rule?”

 

“No going near the lake unless you’re with me.”

 

“Right. Do I look ready?”

 

She shook her head and then dramatically sighed. “Go get ready then!”

 

Eddie put her on her feet. “You stay in here with PawPaw.”

 

“Come on, sugar, you want to help?” She nodded enthusiastically at Wayne’s invitation.

 

Eddie slipped into his room and closed the door. He sat on the edge of his bed and tried to force back the absolute devastation he felt at the news Wayne had just laid on him. The big C. The mother of all fuckers. Cancer. 

 

His chest hurt even thinking about the eventual loss. He needed more time. Izzy needed more time with him. He put his head in his hands, rubbing the heels of his hands against his eyes in hopes of pushing away the tears. This was the second opinion. When Wayne had called to give him the news the month before, Eddie quickly went to the band and told them his uncle, the band’s uncle, was diagnosed with cancer. They had quickly rallied around him and convinced him to take Izzy and move home. He had tried to convince Wayne to move to Los Angeles, see the doctors there, but he refused. The band had all agreed to take a hiatus and put out a joint statement with their label. Eddie moved back to Hawkins, spent two days living in the trailer with his uncle and daughter before he found out Rick’s place was empty. It’s amazing what could happen if you threw around enough money. He’d had the place completely cleaned out, all the walls repainted, the dock rebuilt, and within a week, the house had been made livable again.

 

Wayne had refused to move, at first, not wanting Eddie’s charity. The old man was so stubborn sometimes. But he convinced him to not spend another second living in the trailer when he could live out on the lake with him and his granddaughter. Convinced him to quit his job, too. And to give up smoking. Anything to try to repair the damage already done. He and Wayne had tossed their cigs, gone through over a week of sniping at each other, but both had eventually kicked the habit. He still missed the cigarettes and his hands missed having something to occupy them. But knowing that he might one day put Izzy in this position made it all easier to let go. 

 

He ran his hand through his hair and took several deep breaths. He had to push this aside until they could talk later. He had to put on a brave, unaffected face in front of Izzy. If the second opinion from the doctors was true, they would go through the different paths for treatment.

 

He quickly changed into his suit, dropped his shades over his face, and left his room. He grabbed two towels from the linen closet and stood at the edge of the hallway and kitchen to watch Wayne and Izzy together. 

 

She loved Wayne and Wayne loved her. 

 

Wayne read the paper to her in the morning after breakfast, he was teaching her how to fish, they watched old John Wayne movies. Izzy’s favorite was McClintock . She liked the pretty dresses and the fight in the mud.

 

He held back the tears and cleared his throat. “What’s going on over here?”

 

“Pawpaw is mashing meat!”

 

Wayne chuckled. “More or less.”

 

“Can we go swim, now?” She turned on the chair she was standing in, holding her hands in front of her as if she was praying.

 

Eddie nodded. “Where’s your vest?”

 

“In the box at the dock,” she said with a nod. 

 

“Right. And what do you do when you get to the dock?”

 

“Wait for you to help me put it on.”

 

“You’re the smartest person ever, Isabell!”

 

She preened as she skipped to the dock and he dropped their towels onto a chair. He opened the box and pulled out her life jacket. She was a decent swimmer, but the lake didn’t have known depths like a pool, or even edges. The life jacket was the best option for the lake. And she seemed to think it was a badge of honor to be able to wear it while swimming. He sat on top of the box, her life-jacket in hand as she stood in front of him, still, until he slipped it around her. 

 

“Daddy, was Mama smart?”

 

Eddie stopped for a moment, Izzy mentioning her mother was a truly rare occurrence, then nodded. “Yeah. Real smart.”

 

“Did I make you sad?” she whispered. He looked up at her wide eyes and knew he needed to reassure her immediately. He never wanted to keep her from asking questions about her mother. 

 

He shook his head. “No, sweetheart, you didn’t. Do you want to talk about her?”

 

She seemed torn by this. “Just-just for a minute.”

 

“Okay. What do you want to talk about?” He began doing up her life jacket, tightening the straps so it was snug but not uncomfortable.

 

“She was smart?”

 

He nodded. “Very smart. She was in college when we met.”

 

“And had me?”

 

He shook his head and smiled. “No, you were a little while after.”

 

She grew quiet again, then whispered. “Do you miss her?”

 

He brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah. I miss her.”

 

“I don’t remember her.”

 

“Of course not, Sweetpea. You were barely ten minutes old when she passed.”

 

“Did she like me?”

 

Eddie cleared his throat. “Loved you so much, Pumpkin. She smiled the whole time she held you.”

 

She was silent and nodded. “What else did she like?”

 

He tilted his head and smiled. “Well, she liked a lot of the things you like. Dancing, for one. She was a ballerina until she graduated high school. She liked the Princess Bride , your favorite.”

 

“Except the R.O.U.S.es!”

 

“Right? They’re so gross!”

 

She giggled and he smiled in return. “She liked sunrises, not sunsets. She always smelled like roses ‘cause of the perfume she wore. And just like you, she was so pretty. You’ve seen pictures.”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. Can we look at one of the photo albums before I go to bed?”

 

“You betcha. Now, I’m going to give you a head start to jump off the dock then I’m going to get you!”

 

She shrieked and ran to the end of the dock and just as she got to the end and counted to three before she jumped, he raced after her, lifted her into his arms, and jumped into the water. When he surfaced, she hadn’t gone under water, and was giggling as she brushed his wet hair out of his face. “You’re so silly, Daddy!”

 

“Good! Now, see if you can catch me,” he called as he released her and began swimming slowly away from her, but always within arms reach. 

 

She doggy paddled, just like he’d taught her and when he let her catch him, she crowed with triumph. “I did it! I caught you!”

 

“You’re too fast! How did you do that?”

 

“I’m a good swimmer! You taught me!”

 

He laughed. “Yeah, I did. You’re just too good, sweetpea.”

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded. “You’re a good teacher.”

 

“Well, thank you, Princess. Now, let’s try again,” he called before he let her go and swam backwards from her once more.

 

*~*

 

Eddie put the photo album back in her bookshelf, made sure her nightlight was turned on, and watched her sleeping in her bed for a few moments before he left the room. Wayne wasn’t in the living room, but was outside on the back porch. Eddie left the backdoor open and the screen door closed so he could hear if Izzy got up or needed him. He joined Wayne in one of the chairs and the older man handed him a beer. He took a sip and didn’t look at the man who had been more of a father to him than his own ever had been.

 

“I’m not doing chemo,” Wayne finally declared and Eddie whipped his head over to look at him.

 

“What? Why not?”

 

He shook his head. “Chances of them curing it from that are slim to none and I’m... not going to waste the time I got left being sick from those chemicals. I want to enjoy what time I’ve got with you and Izzy without... dying slower.”

 

“Wayne... if this is about the cost...”

 

“This isn’t something you can throw money at, son,” he said softly and Eddie looked away from him and hung his head. “I’m not going to spend what time I have in and out of hospitals, being poked by needles. That just... ain’t how I want to live.” Eddie didn’t look at him until he felt a hand on his arm. He slowly turned, unable to see Wayne clearly for the tears in his eyes. “I don’t want you to sit and worry about me, neither. You keep on just as you and Izzy are.”

 

“How long...” he cleared his throat, trying to struggle out the words, “how long did they say you had?”

 

“Could be six months, could be a year.”

 

“Fuck,” he blurted and shook his head. “Wayne, I’m not ready for you to go.”

 

“I’m not gone yet, so don’t be buryin’ me before I’ve passed.”

 

“What about... some other path. Some other... way?”

 

“And what? Give me two years? Two years of suffering, of taking their medicine.”

 

“Yes! Anything to keep you here.”

 

“Eddie...”

 

“No! I’m fucking selfish, Wayne.” He hissed. “I am not ready to lose you. I’m not over losing Kelly. Please, can’t you try… something?”

 

Wayne put his beer on the table beside him and leaned forward. “We all die. I’ve lived a good life. I got to see you graduate,” he chuckled but Eddie couldn’t. “You became the famous rock star you were born to be, you found a woman who loved you and that you loved and you had the most beautiful daughter. My life is full just... watching you and Izzy live.”

 

He shook his head and swiped at his eyes. “It’s not fair,” he whispered. “Two of the best people I know are leaving too soon.”

 

“Too soon? Eddie, I’m almost seventy. I fought in a war, I’ve been broker than shit, I’ve loved and lost, and I got the best son I could ever ask for.”

 

“What are you talking about? I was a pain in the ass.”

 

“Of course you were. You reminded me of my brother so much, but at every junction where he fucked up, you succeeded. I got to see a Munson finally make something of himself and break the curse. Boy, I’ve never been so proud of someone in my entire life.”

 

They were both quiet and Eddie sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “How am I supposed to do any of this without you?”

 

“Come on, Ed, you don’t need me. You haven’t in a long time. I’m not rushing to head off to the grave. So, we’ll make the most of the time we have.”

 

He shook his head. “Fuck, I need a cigarette,” he added, a chuckle coming from Wayne.

 

“Yeah, we’re done with those.”

 

“Yeah.” They remained silent for a while, Eddie’s mind racing for ways to fix this. “What can I do?”

 

“Just... go on as normal.”

 

“Really? You think I can do that?” He scoffed.

 

“You have to. That little girl needs stability and love. If you’re spending all your time mourning me, then you ain’t giving her all she needs of you.”

 

Eddie groaned. “That’s fucking evil, man. Using my daughter against me like that.”

 

“Not using her against you. Just reminding you what’s important.” He sat back in his seat and picked up his beer again. “For instance, Izzy seemed to like school.”

 

“You really want to pretend like none of this is happening?”

 

“Yes. Talk to me about her school, grocery shopping, more renovations... anything but what’s happening with me.”

 

Eddie stared at Wayne and saw the sincerity in his eyes and the determination in his brow. He didn’t know if he could pretend like nothing was happening. But if it’s what Wayne wanted, for tonight, he could do that. “Yeah, she liked school.”

 

“She said you knew her teacher.”

 

Chrissy’s bright smile flashed through his mind and the guilt that hadn’t been there before came bubbling up with it. “Yeah, Chrissy Cunningham.”

 

Wayne smiled. “There’s a name I haven’t heard in about ten years.”

 

“When did you hear her name?”

 

“Ed, you used to talk about her all the time. Her ‘jockstrap’ boyfriend, from what I recall, used to bully some of your friends. But you said she would stand up for them when she was around. I also seem to remember coming home one morning to find her sleeping in your room while you were on the couch.”

 

Eddie ran his hand over his jaw. “I didn’t talk about her that much.”

 

“I’m convinced you just talked so much, back then, you didn’t listen to what was coming out of your mouth. I was surprised you never dated her.”

 

“Jockstrap boyfriend kept that from happening.”

 

“But she’s not with him anymore?” Wayne asked. 

 

“No.” He paused. “She said she dodged a bullet.”

 

“I can ask Marge down at the Stop n’ Go. She knows all the gossip in town.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes even as he chuckled. “When did you become such a gossip hound?”

 

“It’s a small town and I’ve become nosey in my old age.” Wayne took a swig of his beer. “She still pretty?”

 

“How did you know she was pretty?” he asked. 

 

“Your sketchbook.”

 

Eddie groaned. “I forgot you found that.”

 

“I wish I could forget the things I saw in it,” he teased. “So?”

 

“Yeah, she’s still... fucking gorgeous.”

 

“Single?”

 

“Are you trying to matchmake now?” Eddie asked, staring at his uncle.

 

He shrugged. “Just... curious. Is she?”

 

“I guess so. We didn’t get that far. Izzy sort of insisted we leave.”

 

Wayne cleared his throat. “I’ll ask Marge.”

 

“No. Don’t ask Marge. I’m fully capable of finding out myself.”

 

“Are you? You never made a move all through high school.”

 

“Jockstrap.”

 

He shrugged. “You never thought you were good enough for her.”

 

“Maybe I was afraid a hellmouth would open up and swallow this town hole if I had made my feelings known.” He leaned back in his chair, the crickets filling in the silence between them. “I don’t know if I’m ready to… get involved with someone.”

 

Wayne nodded. “Yeah, I suspected as much.”

 

“I still miss Kelly.”

 

“I know you do. I heard you back there telling Izzy stories.”

 

“I don’t think I talk about her enough. I know she doesn’t remember her, but I can’t forget and I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes when I think about it.”

 

He sighed. “What happened would be hard for anyone to get through. Do you think you ever actually mourned her loss?”

 

Eddie rubbed the spot over his heart, feeling a deep ache there. “No. I know I didn’t. I couldn’t stop and really… I had to take care of Izzy. I put all my focus on her and the band…” he swallowed. “Being out of LA is better.”

 

“You once called this place a cess pool from hell.”

 

“I stand by that,” he chuckled. 

 

“But you’re back.”

 

“For my family,” he said as he looked over at Wayne, “I’d buy a lake house on that cess pool.” Eddie sighed. “If you need rest or you’re in pain, don’t hide it from me. We can… work out a system where you can tell me without telling me in front of Izzy.”

 

“Oh? You think you can get something by her?”

 

“Probably not. If you need a break or rest or you’re in pain or something… ask me what time it is.”

 

“That easy, huh? And what will you do?”

 

“Distract Izzy to give you a few. If it’s more than that, and… Wayne, I don’t know what to do. I know you’re going to get worse. You know it, too. And she’ll figure it out. How do I tell her that her second favorite person is sick and gonna leave us?”

 

Wayne swallowed and ran the back of his hand against his own eyes. “We’ll tell her together. When it gets closer to that point. Til then, let’s keep things as normal as possible. The last thing I want is that little angel to worry about me.”

 

“Yeah, well, your demon nephew is pretty fucking worried. And scared,” he admitted. “Wayne, I haven’t been more than a phone call away from you since I was twelve. Are you sure you won’t at least talk to them about treatment?”

 

“Ed…”

 

“Just talk to them. Let them tell you the options. It might not be that only chemo is the path. Maybe some kind of operation… a transplant or something…”

 

“Edward,” his uncle’s voice cut over top of his rambling and when he looked at Wayne, he saw the determination and he’d never hated a look more. “I know this isn’t what you want. And I know you’re scared. But you know, I’m not. You’re a spectacular father. You’re also a great man. I have no doubt you will do the very best for Izzy.” 

 

“That makes one of us.”

 

“Eddie, you’ve always been harder on yourself than I was ever hard on you. Besides, we have time. We’ll make the most of it, right?”

 

“Yeah. Whatever you want.”

 

“Good. I’m gonna turn in,” he said as he stood and ruffled Eddie’s hair as he went by. But Eddie jumped to his feet and hugged Wayne as tight as he could. Before he could stop, he felt tears rolling down his face. “Son, I’m still here.”

 

“I know, this for all those times I gave you grief,” he nearly sobbed into his shoulder. 

 

When he finally pulled back, he sniffed and Wayne patted his shoulder. “I know I ain’t told you enough, but I love you, son. Best thing that ever happened was the day you showed up on my door step.”

 

“Thank you for taking me in. For being the father I needed. I love you, too, old man.”

 

“Stop that old man shit. I can still kick your ass.”

 

Eddie chuckled and released Wayne to let him go in the house. He waited until he heard the door shut inside before he sat back in his chair. He propped his elbows on his knees, rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes, and sobbed silently into the night.

Chapter 2: Stop Standing on the Edge

Summary:

Chrissy's second day teaching and a discovery is made. An accident brings Eddie to the school. And a dinner invitation is issued.

Notes:

Hey guys! I hope you guys like this chapter.

Thanks to justwanderingneverlost for betaing this chapter for me.

TW: Talk of past eating disorder, but mostly glossed over for this chapter.

 

It can be born anywhere
In the last place you'd expect
In a way you'd never dream
It can grow from nothing
And blossom in a second
A single glance is all it takes
To get inside you

Invading every thought
And every beat of your heart
Love can make you scream
And it can leave you speechless
Love has a thousand stems
But only one flower

It can grow alone 'till it turns to dust
It can tear your world apart or bind to you forever
It can grow in darkness, make its own light
Turn a curse into a kiss, change the meaning of your words

Love makes no sense
Love has no name
Love drowns you in tears and then sets your heart on fire
Love has no fear, love has no reason

So infinitely vast
Stop standing on the edge
Take my hand, erase the past forever
My love is you, my love you are

Love makes no sense
Love has no name
Love is never wrong and never needs a reason
I'm drowning in my tears, but my heart's on fire

It can make you better
It can change you slowly
Give you everything you want, ask for nothing in return
In the blink of an eye, the hint of a smile
In the way you say goodbye and every time you find me

Love makes no sense
Love has no name
Love drowns you in tears and then sets your heart on fire
Love has no fear, love has no reason

Love makes no sense
Love has no name
Love drowns you in tears and then sets your heart on fire
Love has no fear, love has no reason

My love is you, my love you are
My love is you, my love you are

Love Exists
Amy Lee

 

Chrissy parked in her usual spot, grabbed her bag, her thermos, and lunch box, then walked into the school, the receptionist joining her along the way. 

 

“Morning, Chrissy.”

 

“Good morning, Ethel. How was your evening?”

 

Ethel had been the receptionist at Hawkins Elementary school when Chrissy was a child. She had remained the favorite staff member of the entire school system, mainly because she knew everything inside and out without having to look it up. When Chrissy had started teaching, she had brought her a batch of banana nut muffins because she’d heard from someone that they were her favorite. Since then, Chrissy had become great friends with her as they had other things in common: their love of knitting, Matlock reruns, and disco music. Ethel claimed in her younger days that she had spent time in all the best clubs of Chicago dancing every night while working during the day as a receptionist downtown. She would get a far off look in her eye whenever the BeeGees started playing.

 

“It was nice. I made meatloaf for dinner and Marvin just gobbled it up. And he even did the dishes,” she said with a nod. 

 

“Wow, he’s really coming along nicely,” Chrissy teased. 

 

Ethel and Marvin had been married for forty years, six kids(two sets of twins), seven grandchildren, two great grandchildren, and still seemed fond of one another since the first time she’d met them at church when she was a small child. She had learned, since working with her, that Ethel complained about Marvin’s lack of help at home. 

 

Ethel had declared the year before that she was on strike at home. She wasn’t cooking meals, cleaning, or doing any “other” wifely duties. She claimed she got fed up after an article in Cosmo reported how husbands were more helpful in the home than in previous generations. She basically testified to the teachers table she would not tolerate it anymore. It was only three days before Marvin showed up with a bouquet of roses and candy. She asked if he cleaned the kitchen and he said no, he thought they could make up and she would do it. She dumped the flowers and the chocolate in the garbage, then told him to leave. Chrissy had watched the entire interaction as she had taken her mail from her cubby in the office. 

 

Ethel had turned to her, smiled, and said ‘men’. As if that summed it all up. She’d come in four days later, more chipper than ever, and declared that Marvin had broken the dishwasher and flooded the laundry room with the washing machine. While Chrissy was shocked, Ethel explained that now he had to wash the dishes by hand and take his clothes to the laundromat. She suspected he did both those things so she would take over. Ethel remained unmoved. The next day, Marvin had walked into the school, his hair mussed, button down shirt with an iron burn on the back, and a dryer sheet stuck to his pants. Chrissy edged closer to the office to see what was happening. 

 

Marvin, big, burly man that he was, lowered to one knee, hands clasped, and said plainly. “Help me.”

 

Ethel nodded and said when she got home, she’d show him how everything worked, so he could clean it properly. He agreed and left. Chrissy watched him go, and Ethel gave her the biggest grin and a thumbs up.

 

“He’s come a long way. Doesn’t even burn the ironing anymore. You just have to put your foot down with them, sometimes.”

 

“Ah, is that the key to success?” she asked as they stopped in the middle of the hall that broke off to the rest of the school and the front office. 

 

“It is. Don’t worry, girl, you’ve got plenty of time. I didn’t get married until I was in my thirties. I lived first,” she laughed.

 

Chrissy shook her head. “I’m not worried. I’m also not looking.”

 

“That’s usually when it happens,” she said with a tilt of her chin before she walked down the hall. “Have a good day, sweetie!”

 

“You, too, Ethel,” she called before heading to her classroom. She flicked on the lights and put her things away in her desk and her lunch in the minifridge in the corner. She kept juice and fruit in it in case she had a child that was diabetic or someone who maybe hadn’t eaten. She tried to never pry into someone’s life, but she knew that sometimes, families struggled, and she would always keep it secret. She had stocked the fridge the morning before with apples, and even a few lunchables. Anything would be better than nothing.

 

She pulled the stack of papers from her desk, a get to know me sheet for all the students to fill out. She placed one on each student’s desk as well as a freshly sharpened pencil. She knew some of them had supplies, but the ones she handed out were colorful and she hoped it would start the day off well with them. 

 

She stopped at Izzy Munson’s desk and took a deep breath. She was certain she’d made a fool of herself the day before, flirting with Eddie in clear view of his little daughter. What if she went home to tell her mother? He must really think she was depraved, flirting as she was. She pushed it away, and continued on with laying out things for the students.

 

When she finished, she took a sip of her coffee, then walked over to the door to wait for her students to file in. Soon, the first bell rang, and the children were released from their holding place in the lunchroom. Chrissy watched some of them approach. “Don’t run,” she called out to a few boys who appeared to be racing. They slowed to a fast walk as they passed her and into the first grade room. 

 

“Good morning Gracie, Sophie, Alex,” she greeted as three of her students walked in. She had spent most of the day before learning their names. She greeted others as they came in, and soon, Izzy came in, her dress covered by a jean jacket with patches of unicorns and rainbows on the side. 

 

“Good morning, Izzy,” she smiled.

 

“Good morning, Miss Cunningham! My Daddy said to say ‘hey’.”

 

Chrissy giggled. “Well, you be sure to tell him I said ‘hey’ back, alright?”

 

She nodded, went into the classroom, and hung her backpack in her cubby. She walked over to her desk and began talking to the girl beside her, Rebecca. She had to admit that Izzy was a beautiful child. She had blonde hair, but it was curly like Eddie’s. Bright blue eyes and Eddie’s dimple when she smiled. She didn’t know who Izzy’s mother was, but it was clear she was beautiful. She heaved a wistful sigh about what might have been and when the last bell rang, she closed the door behind her. 

 

“Good morning, class,” she said cheerfully from in front of the classroom.

 

“Good morning, Miss Cunningham,” they replied back.

 

“I hope all of you had a great day yesterday, because I think we’re going to have a good one today, too. On your desk you will find a packet that is about getting to know you. And a pencil that you are allowed to keep.” At this they began murmuring and a few squirmed in their seats. “Now, now, don’t get too noisy. What I want you to do with the packet is write your name on the top line,” she said as she held up a packet and showed them. She gave them a minute to accomplish this, one little boy climbing out of his desk to look at his name hanging from the front. 

 

“Charles, is everything okay?”

 

“Yes, ma’am. I just forgot how to spell it.”

 

Chrissy smiled and walked up the aisle and crouched beside his desk. “Do you know how to spell it now or do you want some help?” she asked softly.

 

He looked torn. “I think I have it but can you check?” 

 

She looked at the name written on the paper. He had spelled it correctly and she nodded with a grin. “Good job.” 

 

He preened and wiggled in his seat as she stood up to her full height. “Is everyone finished?” A chorus of yeses echoed in the classroom. “And now, the next line,” she pointed to it, “is asking for your age. Just write the number on this line.”

 

A hand shot up. “Miss Cunningham,” the little girl waved her arm in the air.

 

“Yes, Leslie?”

 

“My birfday is Friday. Do I put my age now or my age then?”

 

She tilted her head. “Hmmm, which one do you want to put?”

 

“I want to put sixth. I’ll be sith Friday,” she announced, her little lisp making it cuter than Chrissy could hardly handle. 

 

“Then by all means, write down six.”

 

“Miss Cunningham, how old are you?” one of the little boys asked.

 

“You’re not supposed to ask a lady that,” Emily chastised.

 

"She's not a lady, she’s a teacher,” Dean retorted.

 

“She’s still a lady,” Emily snapped back.

 

“Alright, that’s enough. Raise your hand if you want to speak.” Dean’s hands shot up. “Yes, Dean?”

 

“How old are you?”

 

She shook her head. “It’s a secret,” she replied with a wink. “Is everyone done?” Nods and yeses sounded. “Next line is your favorite ice cream. If you look on the board there are types of ice cream,” she said as she walked over to it and pointed to each. “We have strawberry, chocolate, vanilla, cookies and cream, or mint. Who can raise their hand, wait to be called on, and tell me their favorite?” Everyone’s hand shot up. “Uh, Gracie, I think your hand went up first.”

 

“I like chocolate!” Several others nodded. 

 

“Ok, so, I want you to write these letters on your paper on the third line. Just like this if chocolate is your favorite.”

 

“Who else?” A few others raised their hands. “Umm, Izzy? What’s your favorite ice cream?”

 

“Strawberry!”

 

“That is my favorite, too! If you like strawberry, write this word on your paper.”

 

She cleared her throat and went back to the rest of the class. “Who’s next?”

 

*~*

 

Chrissy was seated on the bench beside the pre-k teacher, Daphne Jenkins. She liked Daphne as they had the same temperament, which made them much more able to handle the students in their classes than some of the others who taught higher grades. 

 

They were both startled by several students running up to them. “Miss Cunningham, come quick. Izzy fell off the slide!”

 

Chrissy stood and followed the children to where Izzy was sitting on the ground, her hands were both scratched as well as her knee, which was actively bleeding. “Okay, everyone step back.” She took a step forward and crouched beside Izzy. “Honey, are you okay? Did you bump your head?”

 

She shook her head, her mouth turned down into a pout as tears ran down her face. “No,” she cried and held up her hands. “I fell on my hands and knees and they hurt.”

 

“Okay. Do you think you can walk?” she asked softly and Izzy shook her head. “Can I carry you inside?”

 

She nodded, then really began crying. “I want my daddy!”

 

“Ok. Let’s get you inside.” 

 

Daphne was standing beside her. “I’ll take your kids to lunch,” she offered, and Chrissy smiled before she lifted Izzy into her arms and carried her inside and to the front office where the nurse was located. 

 

Ethel stood upon seeing the crying child. “What happened here?”

 

“Had an accident on the playground. Could you call her father, Eddie Munson, and let him know that she seems to be fine, but she’s had a rough day?”

 

“Yes, of course. Where is your class?”

 

“They’re heading to lunch in a few minutes, but Daphne was there and said she’d take mine with hers.”

 

She nodded. “I’ll see if I can get Miss Walker to help out. And... Betty isn’t here today.”

 

Just as Chrissy placed Izzy on the table, she looked at Ethel. “It’s the second day of school,” she said under her breath and Ethel shrugged. She began going through the cabinets and pulling out supplies, bandaids and ointment. She turned her full attention to Izzy. “How did this happen?”

 

“I-I was on the slide a-and my foot got caught,” Chrissy looked up at her face to see fresh tears sliding down her cheeks, “and I went over the side.”

 

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. That had to be so scary,” she said softly. 

 

She nodded. “I’m never going on the slide again!” she declared.

 

Chrissy held back her smile. “I know just how you feel.”

 

“You do?” Izzy asked as she wiped the tears away with the back of her hands. 

 

She gently cleaned up the dried blood from her leg, then dabbed some of the antiseptic on one of the little pads. “This might sting a little. Can you be big and brave?”

 

“I-I’ll try.”

 

“That’s all I ask,” she said with a smile. “And just so you know, even if you cry, that still means you’re brave.” She gently dabbed it onto the cut on her knee. “When I was in high school, I was a cheerleader. And we were doing this big routine where the boys would throw us up in the air over their heads.” Izzy gasped and Chrissy nodded. “I know! They were so strong. And one time, I went up into the air, but when I came down, the boy missed me and I landed on the ground.”

 

“Oh no,” she gasped. “Were you hurt?”

 

“My booty sure hurt,” she joked and Izzy let out a watery giggle. “He felt really bad. But it scared me. I didn’t want to be thrown in the air again because, what if he missed me again? What if I broke my arm or my leg, or hit my head?”

 

She put two Ariel bandaids over the cut on her knee, then pulled down her hands and cleaned them as well. 

 

“What did you do?” 

 

“Well, I was a cheerleader. If I was hurt, who was going to get all the people to cheer? So, I had to lift my chin and get on with it. I’m tough. It was going to take more than falling on my behind to keep me from being the best cheerleader ever.”

 

Her right hand wasn’t bleeding at all, just barely scraped, but she had two small scratches on her left hand. Chrissy held up the bandaids to her. “Ok, so I gave you the last two Ariel bandaids, we’ve got Aladdin or Belle left. Who do you want?”

 

“Hmm,” she tapped her finger to her chin and Chrissy nearly died at the cuteness. “Which one would you pick?”

 

“Between Aladdin and Belle? Let’s see. Aladdin has a magic carpet, Genie, Abu, and Princess Jasmine who is also brave and tough. And then you have Belle and she is smart, and has Lemiure and Cogsworth, and the Beast is really strong. Hmmm,” she looked up at Izzy. “I don’t know that I could make the choice.”

 

Izzy tilted her head and sighed. “I guess Belle?”

 

Chrissy nodded. “I think that is a perfect choice. Gives Ariel a girlfriend to talk with. Think of all the dinglehoppers Belle could show her and all of them talk and dance! She’d be so excited.”

 

Izzy giggled. “You’re silly.”

 

She put her finger up to her lips, “Shh, that’s between you, me, Belle, and Ariel,” she joked and tucked the bandaids back into the box. 

 

Ethel appeared at the door. “Mister Munson is on his way.”

 

“My daddy is coming?”

 

“I assured him that she was in very good hands, but he was very vocal and insistent.”

 

“Did he say a bad word?” Izzy questioned.

 

Ethel smiled. “Several.”

 

“How many?” she asked again.

 

“Three.”

 

Chrissy giggled. “Three dollars?” she questioned.

 

The little girl nodded. “Three dollars.”

 

*~*

 

By the time Eddie arrived, Izzy was seated on the chair beside Chrissy’s desk as they had lunch. She had let Izzy stay with her since she knew Eddie was coming. She’d told Ethel to send him to her classroom. When he came in, he looked panicked, but upon laying eyes on Izzy, he visibly sagged in relief. She climbed from the chair and ran across the room to him, the force knocking him to the ground as he’d crouched to catch her. 

 

“Daddy,” she cried into his shoulder. He got to his feet and held her in his arms, his hand cradling the back of her head. She stood beside her desk as Izzy pulled back and showed him her bandaged hand. “I’m okay,” she said even as she sniffed.

 

“You sure?”

 

She nodded. “Miss Cunningham gave me bandaids and a jell-o.”

 

“Well, that’s the cure for everything,” he whispered. “I’m going to take you home.”

 

“No! I’ve still got more school.”

 

“You were hurt,” he declared.

 

“Yeah, but we’re supposed to go over the clock today.”

 

Eddie stared at her, then looked at Chrissy and back to Izzy. “You’re telling me, you’d rather stay in school than come home with me?”

 

She tilted her head as she looked at Eddie. “Only until school is over.”

 

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek. “You are much better than me, SweetPea, cause I would have been out of here without thinking twice,” he murmured.

 

“Daddy. You’re so silly,” she giggled. She turned to look at Chrissy. “Can Daddy stay til we’re done eating?”

 

Chrissy nodded. “Sure thing,” she said and gestured to the chair beside her desk. Chrissy waited until Izzy was seated on Eddie’s lap. “Do you want water or a lunchable?”

 

He looked up at her and blinked. “Uh, you have lunchables?”

 

“Oh, yeah, you know, some kids might not have lunch or lunch money so I keep them just in case. I have a bunch of them.”

 

“I can share my sandwich,” Izzy offered around her full mouth. 

 

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” he admonished gently. Izzy hardly seemed to notice. “Uh, water. I was going to grab something on the way home.”

 

“Oh, of course,” she said as she went over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, handed it to him, then took her chair.

 

“So, can someone tell me what happened?” Eddie asked not opening his water.

 

“I fell off the slide.”

 

“You did? How did that happen?” Eddie asked.

 

“My foot got stuck,” she said before she munched on a carrot stick. “I fell over the side.”

 

“Were you high up?” he asked as she could see his arm tightening around her. 

 

“Not really. Miss Cunningham gave me three bandaids.” She held her knee up. “See! Ariel on my knee and Belle on my hand,” she explained, then went back to her carrot stick. 

 

“And you’re sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yep,” she nodded. “Miss Cunningham said she fell once, too. But she got back up and was the best cheerleader ever.”

 

Chrissy nearly spit her own water over her desk and stared wide eyed at Eddie. “Izzy, I don’t think that’s exactly…”

 

Eddie waved a hand. “No no. I remember. You were a great cheerleader.”

 

She couldn’t help but blush. “Oh, thanks.”

 

“Did you have pompoms?” Izzy asked excitedly. “And one of those phone thingies?”

 

She chuckled. “I had huge pompoms. In fact, I still have them. Maybe when we do show and tell on Friday, I’ll bring those in as my show and tell.”

 

“Yes! Please! What about the phone?”

 

“A megaphone? Yes, it had my name on it but I think it’s at my mo-- I think it’s lost,” she said as she lowered her head. She did not want to get into her mother in front of a child. It had taken her five years of therapy to be able to put some actual separation between herself and the past, she was not going to dredge up all that pain in front of Eddie Munson and his five year old daughter.

 

“Did you have a cheer uniform?”

 

She nodded. “Yes. And a sweater that had my name on it.”

 

“That’s so cool. Isn’t it Daddy?”

 

“Yep. The coolest. She wasn’t just a cheerleader, you know? She was the head cheerleader.”

 

Chrissy smiled at Eddie then Izzy. “I told you I was the best ever,” she said with a wink. Eddie chuckled and shook his head. “You know... the school has a cheer team. We have a girls and boys basketball team and they need cheerleaders.”

 

“Don’t corrupt my youngin’,” he teased. 

 

She giggled. “Oh, hush. You spent years corrupting the youth.”

 

“And I was very good at it,” he reminded. 

 

“Can I be a cheerleader?” Izzy asked as she looked up at Eddie who met her gaze with a gentle meeting of their foreheads. “Please?” she requested.

 

He tilted his head, winced and finally released a dramatic breath. “Fine! Got a flyer or anything?”

 

Chrissy reached into her drawer and handed over a pink flyer. Eddie held it out for Izzy. “What does it say?”

 

“Cheer tryouts, September 28 3:30pm’. What does ‘pm’ mean?” 

 

He pressed his lips to her head. “After noon.”

 

“Why doesn’t it say ‘an’?” she asked and Chrissy shared a look with Eddie who smiled over Izzy’s head. 

 

“Cause the people that came up with it aren’t as smart as you,” he answered.

 

Izzy nodded as if that was the best, most logical answer. “What’s that next word?”

 

Eddie looked down at the flyer in his hand. “How about you sound it out? What is that first letter?”

 

“B. It makes a buh sound.”

 

“Yup. And what’s the next letter?”

 

“R. It goes rrrrrrrrr.”

 

He chuckled and nodded. “It sure does. What about the next?”

 

“I. Ohh, I is tricky.”

 

“And why is I tricky?”

 

She looked up at him and Chrissy couldn’t be more charmed by the father daughter pair. Unlike yesterday, when she was so caught off guard by his appearance she couldn’t help but flirt with him, she had been able to reign in her reaction to being so close to him again after so much time. And watching him interact with Izzy was doing something to her system. She was surprised her cheeks weren’t as red as the tomatoes she’d been having for lunch.

 

“Because, it can sound IIIIIIIIII,” she giggled as he tickled her tummy, and when he stopped and she composed herself, “or it can sound kind like eeee, but it’s not an eee. Right?”

 

“Yup. Doing great.”

 

“Which one is it?”

 

“It’s the little I sound.”

 

“Oh, the eeeee sound,” she smiled up at him and he nodded. “Okay, and the next letter is an N, and its just nnnnnnnnnn,” she exaggerated. “And then G, is a guh sound.”

 

“Right, so, sound it all out.”

 

“BRIIIING. BRING!” she declared. 

 

“Oh my gosh, you’re the smartest human alive!” he leaned back in his chair dramatically.

 

“Daddy,” she giggled. “You’re so silly.”

 

“The silliest,” Chrissy added with a nod. “What do you need to bring?” she asked, turning Izzy’s attention back to the flyer.

 

“Uh... ‘a whiiiIIIIIIte shirt and b-black shhoooorts. Shorts. I got it,” she said with a grin. 

 

“A white shirt and black shorts. I think we can handle that, what do you think Izzy?”

 

“I have a white shirt at home!”

 

“And black shorts,” he said with a nod. “We’ll find them when you get home from school, how’s that?”

 

“Yay!” she said with a clap.

 

Chrissy leaned forward and clapped her hands. “Look at you. Already cheering. You’re a natural.”

 

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m raising a jock!” he joked. “What happened to my future dungeon master?”

 

“Daddy,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I can still play D&D with you. I just get to have pompoms when I play.”

 

He wiped his brow and flopped back in the chair. “Phew! I’m so glad to know you can do both.”

 

She finished her sandwich with one bite, her cheeks overly full and Eddie shook his head and reached for her drink. “Isabelle, you know you aren’t a snake so you can’t unhinge your jaw and swallow down a wildebeest." He held it up to her lips. “Drink.”

 

She did as instructed, and soon, she had managed to swallow down her food. She looked up at Eddie. “Sorry.”

 

“Forgiven. Are you done?”

 

She nodded. “I don’t want my chips. Can I have more carrots tomorrow?”

 

“I will take it under advisement.”

 

“So silly,” she giggled. “What are we going to do after lunch?”

 

“Well, once we have nap time, we’re going to draw a picture of our family.”

 

She clapped. “I do that all the time!”

 

“Yep. Our fridge is covered with pictures.”

 

“You, me, and PawPaw.”

 

“PawPaw, huh? What does he do?” Chrissy asked.

 

“He fishes and we watch John Wayne movies. Do you like John Wayne?”

 

She grinned. “I used to watch John Wayne movies with my dad when I was your age.”

 

“You did? What was your favorite?”

 

She leaned forward as if she was sharing a secret, and when Izzy leaned forward as well, she whispered. “I liked McLintock when I was little like you, but when I got older, I liked the ‘Quiet Man’.”

 

“Oh, that’s the one where they fight in town.”

 

“All over town,” she agreed as she erased the blackboard.

 

“Everyone talks funny in that one. I like it, though. There's a lady in McClintock and I like her red hair.” She suddenly stopped. “Did mommy ever have red hair?”

 

Eddie shook his head. “Uh... n-not while I knew her. She was always blonde.”

 

The bell rang and Izzy startled. “Oh, I’m going to sit at my desk,” she said as she jumped from Eddie’s lap, yanked him down to give him a kiss on the cheek, then rushed to her desk. Eddie gathered all her lunch items and shoved them into her lunch box. 

 

Chrissy could see his hands tremble and she reached forward and gently touched him. “Hey, you alright?” she asked softly.

 

He nodded and gestured to the door, letting her know he wanted to speak to her privately. He gave Izzy her lunch box. She stood to put it up and Chrissy joined Eddie in the hall. He ran a hand through his hair as he paced for a moment. “I don’t know how much you know about our situation.”

 

She shook her head. “Nothing, actually,” she said softly.

 

He heaved a sigh. “Izzy’s mom... Kelly, died when Izzy was born,” he whispered. “She’s been asking about her lately. She’s got photo albums and stories I tell her, but that’s it.”

 

Chrissy furrowed her brow. “I’m so sorry, Eddie.”

 

“Yeah. Getting that phone call today sort of... well, scared the hell out of me.” 

 

Soon, students were entering the classroom behind her. “One second,” she said to him before turning to the class as the students took their seats, a few checking on Izzy. “I need all of you to take your seats, please. There is a clock drawn on the board. Whoever can tell me what time it says will get a gold star.” They started to murmur, but she shook her head. “You have to do it quietly.”

 

She waited until everyone was silent, then stepped back out the door to find Eddie smiling softly at her. “What?”

 

“If I’d had a teacher like you, I might have liked school more.”

 

She waved him off. “Pfft, you had bigger things on the horizon than Hawkins and school, Mister Rock Star.” He rolled his eyes, but his expression changed and the affable manner changed. “I’m really sorry about your... Izzy’s mom.”

 

“Wife,” he said with a nod. “Thanks.”

 

“I can’t imagine what went through your mind when you got the call.”

 

“Total panic. I’m not sure I obeyed a single traffic law on the way here.”

 

“Oh, that tracks from high school.”

 

He stopped pacing and cut his eyes at her. “You rode with me once.”

 

“Twice. You took me home, too.”

 

He chuckled and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Oh yeah. Fine. Twice. But you made it in one piece.”

 

She smiled. “I did. Thank you.”

 

He gave her a nod. “Well, since I’m not taking her home right now, I supposed I can run a few errands in town,” he hesitated, taking a step, but not actually committing to it, returning to his position in front of her. “I mean, it’s three hours, right?”

 

“A man with a plan. I like it.”

 

He snorted. “Thanks. Should I come in to pick her up or wait in the parking lot.”

 

“What would make you more comfortable?” she inquired.

 

He removed his hands from his pockets and scratched at his hair again. “Coming in.”

 

She smiled kindly at him. “I’ll see you at three, Mister Munson.”

 

He grinned at her, wide enough that his dimple showed. “Great. I’ll be back later.”

 

She watched him leave and rolled her eyes at herself. She felt like dirt. Lower than dirt. What’s lower than dirt? Cow dung? She felt so gross to know that she was crushing on a student’s father. This was so bad. She knew it. She needed to stop this from getting too out of control. She would be polite, but keep her distance. No more making conversations last longer because she just wanted to talk to him.

 

She plastered on a smile and entered the class room. The murmuring immediately stopped and she walked over to the board. “Now, who can tell me what time it is?”

 

Three hands shot up. “Dean?”

 

“Three three.”

 

“It is 3, but let’s see if someone has a different answer for the second 3.” Emily’s hand lowered, but Izzy’s remained up. “Izzy?”

 

“3:15,” she replied hesitantly. “I think.”

 

She walked over to her desk, picked up her packet of stars, and took the gold one and handed it to her. “Izzy is right, everyone. It’s 3:15.” She went back to the board. “Let’s talk about the different parts of the clock.”

 

*~*

 

By three o’clock, Chrissy was ready to kick off her heels, gather up her things, and run to her car. She was exhausted. Once most of the students had left, she stood from her desk and stretched her arms over her head. Izzy was still seated in her chair packing her things away. “How is your knee, Izzy?”

 

She looked up and smiled. “I think Ariel is really helping.”

 

“Well, Ariel is a very helpful mermaid,” she grinned. “What about your hand?”

 

“Oh,” she said as she looked at it. “I forgot I hurt it.”

 

“Must be all that magic from the castle helping.”

 

“Yup,” she said as she got her backpack on. “Are we going to get uniforms for cheer?”

 

“You sure will. The green, white and gold that the kids in middle school and high school wear.”

 

She bit her lip. “And... are the boys going to throw us up in the air?”

 

She shook her head. “No. As much fun as it is, I think it’s better if we let the older kids do that. Instead, you’ll learn some fun cheers and a dance routine! Do you like to dance?”

 

“I love to dance. My mommy was a ballerina and daddy said she liked to dance like I do.”

 

“A ballerina? Oh, I bet she was a great dancer.”

 

She nodded. “Daddy says so. I never got to see her. But I do have pictures.”

 

“That’s great. Did she have a tutu?”

 

“A big pink one! And she could stand on her tiptoes!”

 

“What? She must have been one of the best ballerinas.”

 

She nodded. “Yup.”

 

“I’ll let you in on a secret,” she said as she called her closer and Izzy practically ran to her. She crouched down just in front of Izzy. “I used to be a ballerina, too. Until I was twelve.”

 

“You were?”

 

She nodded. “Yes. I love dancing. I stopped because I had to choose between cheer or ballet.”

 

“Cheer.”

 

Chrissy nodded. “Cheer. But only because the shoes and standing on my tip toes hurt my feet.”

 

Izzy nodded in agreement. “Daddy said mommy had bad feet cause of being a ballerina. Did you know my momma?”

 

She shook her head. “No, sweetheart, I didn’t.”

 

Izzy frowned. “Oh. Daddy is the only one who knows her that lives here.”

 

“I’m sure he’d tell you whatever you wanted to know.”

 

“Yup, but I think it makes him sad.”

 

She sat at her desk and pointed to the chair she’d sat on for lunch. “How do you feel?”

 

“About momma?” Chrissy nodded. “I don’t know. I love her cause she was my momma and so pretty and Daddy loved her. But I don’t ‘member meeting her.”

 

“It’s okay if you aren’t sure. When you get older, I’m sure, you’ll have questions that your Daddy can answer.”

 

“What if it makes him sad?”

 

Chrissy propped her elbow on her desk and rested her head on her hand. “You know what, I bet, even if it made him sad, he would still tell you anything you want to know cause your Daddy is good and only wants to make you happy.”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. I don’t want to make him sad, though.”

 

She looked up as Eddie was suddenly there and walking towards Izzy. He crouched beside her chair. Izzy appeared surprised to see him. “Why don’t I go over here and...” she didn’t finish her sentence as she went to the back of the room to straighten cubby holes and any name tags knocked askew as Eddie remained crouched beside the chair. She couldn’t hear them talking and only chanced a few glances at them. Izzy finally climbed from the chair and into Eddie’s arms. 

 

Her heart... melted. She knew her face was flushed, finding the moment to be utterly beautiful to watch. She squeezed her eyes closed and turned her back to them. Eddie cleared his throat and she turned to face him. He was standing to his full height and holding Izzy. “So, my Uncle Wayne is out for the night, having a beer with some friends. Izzy and I are going to grab dinner at County Line Diner, and we thought... maybe you could join us?”

 

“Oh! Right now?” she asked, looking at her watch.

 

Eddie chuckled. “It’s a little early. I was going to take her to the park for a while... which you’re welcome to join us.”

 

She crossed the room and Izzy smiled at her. “Well... what if I join you at the restaurant that way I could go home to change? My shoes are killing my feet.”

 

He grinned. “Acceptable. If we get there before you, what would you like to drink?”

 

“Water with lemon,” she smiled. 

 

“Great. Six good for you?”

 

“Perfect. And if I get there before you?”

 

“Oh, root beer float for me, and strawberry milkshake for Gizmo, here.” Izzy giggled and bonked Eddie on the side of the head with her forehead. “Ow,” he laughed and rubbed the spot she’d hit. “Your head made of cinderblocks?”

 

Izzy giggled and Eddie smiled at her. A blinding smile that made her forget how to breathe. Eddie had always been handsome, but that smile being turned full force onto her, nearly sent her to her knees. 

 

 “See you at six, Cunningham.”

 

Why had she not just risked it all to be with him back in high school? Instead, she let Jason and her deranged mother make decisions for her and influence her life in the direction they wanted. She plopped down in her chair for only a moment before she gathered her things, locked up her classroom, and started out of the building.

 

“Hey there, Chrissy. Any more excitement?”

 

Chrissy smiled at Ethel. “Thankfully, no.”

 

“I was surprised he came back to the office to tell us he wasn’t taking her home with him.”

 

“She wanted to stay. She’s a tough little cookie.”

 

“So is her teacher. You never so much as flinched.”

 

“Not my first time at this proverbial rodeo,” she joked.

 

“What’s on the agenda tonight?”

 

She took a deep breath. “Same ole, same ole.”

 

“Just promise me you aren’t standing over the sink to eat,” she joked.

 

“I promise you, I will not stand over the sink.”

 

“Alright, well, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Chrissy.”

 

“You, too, Ethel.”

 

She climbed in her car and took the familiar route to her little house. She pulled into the drive, gathered her things, and started up the pathway to the front door. “Chrissy!” 

 

She looked up, startled momentarily and stomped her foot. “Jesus, Billy, you scared the shit out of me.”

 

“Oh, a naughty word from the kindergarten teacher.”

 

She rolled her eyes as Billy followed her up the path. “How are you doing?” she asked as she handed Billy the items in her hands and dug through her purse for her house keys. She found them and unlocked the door. 

 

“Good. I’ve got about fifteen minutes before lover boy gets home.”

 

Chrissy smiled and took her things from him. “Oh, plans tonight.”

 

“Only to sit in front of the TV and help Lila with her homework. Steve’s turn to cook,” he said as he perched on the arm of the sofa and she kicked off her heels. “What about you?”

 

“I’m meeting a friend,” she said vaguely.

 

“What friend?” he questioned. “A fellow cheerer?” he teased.

 

Billy, for all his sarcasm and overall brazen behavior, was probably her best friend. She’d met him in group therapy nearly four years ago, and they had instantly bonded over shitty parents. Both had an abusive parent and one who left them to deal with it. His mom physically left, her father was a bystander to her abuse. It wasn’t long before they were getting coffee after group, and she had come to learn that he was roommates with Steve Harrington. A surprise to her. She supposed at the time they got along because they were different, Steve was much more laid back about things than Billy. It was nearly a year before she realized they weren’t just roommates, but a couple.

 

It was a shock to Chrissy given how Billy seemed to flirt with her at every opportunity, but she knew it was a defense mechanism he used when he started to feel too vulnerable. He would switch it on, make her blush, and she would back off whatever path they were going down that made him uncomfortable. However, four years had broken down those barriers. He could read her like an open book. 

 

She chuckled. “Not a cheer leader, but someone from when I was one?” she shook her head. “It’s difficult to explain.”

 

“Oh? How so?”

 

“Do you know Eddie Munson?”

 

Billy’s eyebrow raised in interest.  “Oh, do I know Eddie Munson!” He chuckled and folded his arms over his chest. 

 

“What does that mean?” she asked as she sat on the end of the sofa. 

 

Billy smirked. “I thought he was a previous partner of Steve’s. In my defense, it didn’t help that every time we saw Dustin, he was constantly glowing about his famous rock star friend or that Eddie seemed to... not flirt, but antagonize Steve. I was jealous.”

 

“What happened?” she asked as she sat on the arm of her own sofa.

 

“Oh, you know, a punch or two was thrown...” he winced and scratched his jaw.

 

“Billy!”

 

“I told you I didn’t handle it well!” He smiled. “Once everything was communicated thoroughly, he and I bonded over metal music and our love/hate relationship with California.”

 

“How long ago was this?” She couldn’t believe she’d never heard about this before now. 

 

“About... seven years? I think that’s right.” Chrissy fidgeted her hands and looked at the floor. “What is it, Princess?”

 

“Was he married then?”

 

He shook his head. “Nah, he got married maybe a month later. A very Guns n Roses November Rain type deal.”

 

“Did you go?” she asked, suddenly curious.

 

He nodded. “We were living in Anaheim at the time.”

 

“So, you knew Kelly?”

 

“Yup. Didn’t realize her name was common knowledge around these parts, though.”

 

“It’s not. He told me she passed away.”

 

Billy shook his head. “Worst fucking... I liked Kelly. She was a really sweet person, and I think she helped Eddie get his shit together, you know. When we got that call from Jeff, his band mate, we immediately went to LA. When we got to his house, he was just sitting on the couch, holding Izzy, just... not even there. Wayne worried he’d been doing drugs, but he wasn’t. He just... shut the fuck down.” He cleared his throat. “He didn’t talk to anyone. He just went through the motions of taking care of Izzy as Kelly’s parents went through the funeral details. He even had the baby at the services. Like, if he put her down, she’d go away, too.” Billy heaved a sigh and stared down at his hands.  

 

“Eddie kept his sunglasses on during the whole service, and back at their house, where the after reception was, once everyone left, and it was just us and his uncle, he finally thanked us for coming then left the room. Only person that saw him for days was Wayne, and it was because he was bringing bottles for Izzy and food for Eddie.”

 

“Oh, God. Poor Eddie.”

 

Billy cleared his throat. “I don’t know how he got through it, cause if it had been me and I lost Steve like that... the world would have suffered for the hell I would have reaped.” He looked up at her. “He’s only been back a few months. You should see the renovations he had done to that house.”

 

“He’s really sweet with his daughter.”

 

“Oh yeah, Izzy is his reason for living. I know the feeling. Lila... I’d destroy the world for her.”

 

Chrissy smiled. “I’m sure she’d hate that.”

 

He laughed. “Oh yeah. So, why are you bringing Eddie up?”

 

“Oh, well, my senior year of high school I was... not in a good space. I was full bulimic, being bullied by not only my mom, but Jason. Everyone else ignored me. I wasn’t sleeping and I was having these hallucinations of this monster chasing me.”

 

“Yeah, you told me about those.”

 

She nodded. “I just needed to sleep. So, I met with Eddie to buy something to help me sleep.”

 

His mouth dropped open. “Chrissy Cunningham, are you telling me you got high with someone else other than me?”

 

She laughed. “Billy, despite what you think, you were not my first experience with weed.”

 

“How many others? I’m shocked and appalled.”

 

She giggled at his antics. “Only Eddie.”

 

He huffed out a breath. “Fine. Tell me the rest.”

 

“I thought I needed something stronger than weed, and Eddie had something but not with him. So, I went with him to his place and I backed out of the Special K.”

 

“Ketamine? You’d never smoked weed and you were going to do Ketamine?”

 

She shrugged. “I was desperate. But, he talked me out of the Ketamine and back down to weed. He offered to give me one of his prerolls and showed me how to smoke it.”

 

Chrissy so clearly remembered how she’d nearly cried when he told her he didn’t think Special K was right for her, that it might be too intense, and even though it would cost him money, he just couldn’t let her do it. He had stepped forward, hands tucked into his pockets and told her that he would help her relax, and he thought weed could do the trick. He even brought out his personal stash of joints he kept in his room. He’d lit it, and explained that she would cough, but to give it a chance. He’d given her a glass of water, even, telling her that it could help the burning that she’d feel in her throat. He sat beside her on the sofa, not laughing at her, or judging her for coughing. Instead, he guided her in what best to do. 

 

“What happened?” Billy prompted after a moment of silence.

 

She shrugged. “We ate mac n cheese, watched Bonanza, and he let me have his bed. He took me home the next morning. It was the first night I’d slept the whole way through without any nightmares.”

 

Billy reached out and put a hand on her knee. “Good. Did you make this a regular occurrence?”

 

“No. My mom grounded me for being gone all night without a call. I completely forgot about her. It was so freeing,” she said with a sigh. 

 

“I bet.”

 

“Anyway,” she said, waving her hand as if to brush those memories aside. “His daughter, Izzy, is in my class.”

 

“She’s a spitfire, isn’t she?”

 

“Yes, and so cute. She keeps him in line.”

 

“For sure.”

 

“Anyway, Izzy fell off the slide today and he came to the school and we talked, that’s when he told me about his wife. And he invited me to join them at the diner at six.”

 

Billy stood. “Whoa. Are you going on a date?”

 

“No! It’s just old friends catching up,” she rushed to explain. She stood and turned away from him, knowing Billy could read her better than anyone else she knew. 

 

“Chrissy Cunningham, do you like him?” His voice was teasing, but not mean.

 

Her face was suddenly too hot, and she wanted to shed her skin like a lizard to make it stop. Billy’s blue eyes twinkled as he pressed his lips together. “Oh, sweetness, this is too good,” he said as he jumped to his feet. He grabbed her by the wrist. “What are you going to wear?”

 

“Jeans and a t-shirt.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Show me.”

 

“I’m not showing you!”

 

Billy stood, took her by the arm, and into her bedroom. He plopped down on her bed and gestured for her to go ahead. He laid on his side, head propped on his hand, his shoed feet nowhere near her pillows. 

 

She huffed, then went through her closet, pulling out her nicest jeans that made her butt look good, a black belt, white t-shirt, and black boots. She set it all out on the bed in front of him. 

 

“Jewelry?” he asked. 

 

She went to her dresser and went through her jewelry box. She picked up a choker and layered necklaces. 

 

He nodded. “Go get dressed. Let me see.”

 

She gathered all of her clothes and went into the bathroom to get dressed. Shirt tucked in, boots tucked beneath her jeans, belt in place. She released her ponytail and brushed her hair out. The last touch was the necklace and choker. Once they were on, she came out of the bathroom. 

 

Billy smiled at her. “You’re cute as a button.”

 

Chrissy blushed and shook her head. “You’re so annoying,” she declared. 

 

“What jacket are you going to wear?”

 

“It’s still hot out,” she declared. “I wasn’t planning to wear one.”

 

“Chrissy, you get cold when it’s 80 degrees out. You need a jacket.”

 

She huffed and went to her closet. She knew what jacket she wanted to wear, but she wasn’t sure it was really her. She had bought it on a spur of the moment purchase and had second guessed it at every opportunity. 

 

“I can hear you overthinking from here,” Billy chided. 

 

She heaved a sigh, grabbed the short, black leather jacket. 

 

He grinned. “Sweets, after all these years, you continue to surprise me. Put it on. Let’s see it.”

 

She pulled it over her shoulders, pulled her hair loose, and put her hands on her hips. “Does it look okay or am I trying too hard?”

 

“If you were trying too hard you would be wearing a leather skirt. You look fantastic. What time do you have to be there?”

 

“Six.”

 

“You should get going.” He stood and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Call me when you get home and tell me allll about it,” he teased with a wink.

 

“It’s just dinner,” she declared once more. She grabbed her purse and keys, followed him out, and locked the door behind her.

 

“I know. But dinner can lead to more dinners. Maybe dates. Maybe a good lay.”

 

“Billy,” she said softly, looking down at her hands. “It would be really stupid to get my hopes up, wouldn’t it?”

 

All the bravado that Billy was known for drifted away when he saw how concerned she was. He stepped forward. “No. It would be more foolish to deny that you do have hope.” He sighed. “Forget all my teasing, alright. It’s two friends catching up.”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. But... if I want more?”

 

“Well, you just... see what happens. Nothing is saying that you decide tonight to ride his face into eternity.” Her eyes widened and he chuckled. “It’s dinner with an old friend and his daughter. Have a good time and don’t worry about the other stuff.” She hugged him and he hugged her back. “Hey, you’ve got this. Just be the charming, irresistible, amazing woman you are,” he whispered into her ear. “Everything else will fall into place.”

 

When he pulled away, he gently tapped her chin with his index finger. “Thanks,” she said softly.

 

“Go or you’ll be late.”

 

She took a deep breath and walked to her car. Billy waved one last time before she pulled out of her driveway and headed towards the diner.

Notes:

I really love the idea of Billy and Chrissy as best friends. I could so see them trauma bonding over how shitty their parents were and just forming an attachment to each other.

I fell off the slide the exact way Izzy did when I was five. My foot caught on the side of the slide and I basically barrel rolled off the side onto the ground. I was not as calm as Izzy is. I was a dramatic little bitch!

Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: It's Not Easy to Be Me

Summary:

Eddie and Izzy join Chrissy for dinner. He's helpless against the pull of her and it scares him how much Izzy is already attached.

Notes:

Hi guys! I hope you all like this chapter! I was in my late 90's feel with this chapter. I hope you all like it.

Thanks to my bestie, justwandering-neverlost, for the beta and the gorgeous moodboard.

 

 

 

Izzy’s exuberance from being pushed on the swings by Eddie was one of the few things keeping him from falling apart. He’d nearly lost his mind when he’d received the call from the school and was certain he had never moved so fast in his life. One moment, he’d been sitting in the living room, guitar in hand, pencil tucked behind his ear and sheet music on the coffee table in front of him, the next he’s racing down the road contemplating if he can actually plow through other cars with the excuse that his daughter was hurt.

 

He fully expected to take Izzy home with him, let him cuddle her and hold her and reassure himself that she was alright, just normal childhood injuries. His heart was in his throat as Ethel (honestly, he was shocked she was still living and working at the school) told him that she was no longer in the nurse’s office but in the classroom with Chrissy. He didn’t remember if he knocked when he came in, only that Izzy rushed to him and once her little arms were around his neck, he finally took a breath. She showed him her knee and hand, bandaids placed on both, and told him that Miss Cunningham had taken care of them.

 

Sitting with Izzy in his lap as she ate her lunch with Chrissy was a dizzying experience. His mind had been so consumed the last twenty-four hours about Wayne that he hadn’t really taken the time to think about seeing her again. But being beneath the full force of her smile, the easy way she conversed with Izzy, he thought he might be halfway in love.

 

That gave him pause. He hadn’t looked at another woman since Kelly passed. His sole focus had been his daughter and his band, in that order. But it was something else completely to be in the orbit of the girl he crushed on through middle and high school. And to see her being so kind to his daughter really sent his head spinning. Add that to the fact she agreed to meet them for dinner and he was ready to click his heels like those too happy people in old school musicals. He would never do that, of course. He was pretty sure he’d be struck down where he stood if he ever displayed such a reaction to anything.

 

He caught Izzy on the swing and gently brought her to a stop. “You ready to go eat?”

 

She appeared to think about this for a moment. “We have to go right now?”

 

Eddie smiled, finding her to be the sweetest most adorable thing to ever exist. “Well, we’re meeting Miss Cunningham for dinner. We don’t want to be late.”

 

“Oh yeah! Okay.” She climbed off the swing, grabbed his hand and began pulling him with her towards the SUV. Eddie laughed, scooped her up, and ran the short distance. Her little giggles and shrieks filled his heart to near bursting. He tucked her into the car, climbed in himself, and started off down the road. “Daddy, will you play my song?”

 

He grinned. “What song?”

 

He watched her in the rearview as she huffed. “Daaaaddy. You know what song.”

 

“Oh. Right. Back in Black .”

 

“No,” she declared with a shake of her head. “The Sandman song.”

 

He chuckled and nodded. “Oh, yeah! I remember now,” he said as he reached above his visor and removed the “Black Album” by Metallica and popped it in. The first notes of the song came through, his little angel bobbing her head. He wondered if she was the only five-year old in the world that knew the entire discography of Metallica. Even if there was another one, she was easily the best. 

 

They pulled up to the diner, and he wished he knew what kind of car Chrissy drove to be able to tell if she was already there. But as he was getting Izzy out of the car, a Honda Civic pulled up beside him, revealing the object of his thoughts. She grinned at them. “Hey, you two!” she said cheerfully the moment she climbed out.

 

“Miss Cunningham! You look different.”

 

Chrissy looked down at her attire, her lip now tucked between her teeth. “Izzy, you mean good, right?” he prodded. Because she did look different, but damn, she looked gorgeous. 

 

Izzy nodded. “Yes! Very pretty! I like your hair like that.”

 

Chrissy grinned. “I love your hair bows.”

 

“My Daddy does them for me,” she declared, holding his hand and basically dragging him as she walked beside her teacher. “I have lots.”

 

“Oh? Do you have a... pink one?”

 

“Yes! Three different pink ones.”

 

“Three? That’s so many!”

 

They climbed the steps to the diner where Eddie opened the door for them both. They were shown a booth, Eddie and Izzy on one side, Chrissy on the other. Their waitress, Alma, approached. “Hey there, folks. What can I get you to drink?”

 

“Water and lemon for me,” Chrissy announced.

 

“Strawberry milkshake for the little one and a rootbeer float for me.” 

 

Alma nodded. “And do you need a minute to look over the menu?”

 

He nodded at Chrissy. “Up to the lady,” he said genially. 

 

Chrissy shook her head. “I know what I want.” The waitress smiled at her and she began ordering the strangest thing Eddie had ever heard ordered at a diner. “I’d like the chicken salad sandwich on whole wheat, toasted, with the side salad, and vinaigrette dressing on the side.”

 

Izzy stood up to whisper in his ear, but the cute thing about his daughter is she didn’t actually understand that a whisper should be soft and not at full volume. “Daddy, I want chicken fingers.”

 

“I’ve got you, Princess,” he declared. “Double bacon cheeseburger, full works, cheese fries for the table, and chicken fingers and plain fries for the princess here.”

 

“Does she want any dipping sauce?” Alma asked, looking around Eddie at the hiding Izzy.

 

“Nah, she’s a ketchup girl.”

 

Izzy nodded. Alma grinned at Izzy then wrote down the rest of the order. “Alright, it will be out in a few. And I’ll get your drinks out to you.”

 

She left the table and Chrissy turned her eyes to Izzy. “How was the park?”

 

“So fun! Daddy pushed me on the swings and I went so high.”

 

“Well, anything worth doing is worth doing well,” he said. “I was trying to get her into outer space. I think we have a ways to go.”

 

Izzy giggled. “Daddy, you’re so silly.”

 

“Thanks, Short Round.” He looked back at Chrissy who stared at him with a beatific look that had his heart racing. “So, how did you get into teaching little ones?”

 

She sat back in her seat, seemingly surprised to be the topic of conversation. Her hands dropped beneath the table and he could almost swear she was fidgeting. He wanted to duck beneath and see for himself, but he didn’t want to come off any weirder than he already was. 

 

She cleared her throat and shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I went to college after graduating. Purdue. After about a semester, I figured out I wanted to be in education, especially early education. I got my master’s to work as a school councilor, however, those jobs are few and far between and the people that are in those jobs have tenure and can only be removed by an act of God.” She shook her head. “So, I became a teacher’s aid, started substitute teaching when I could, and then the job opened up for a kindergarten teacher about four years ago. Been here ever since.”

 

“And you like it?”

 

She nodded eyes flitting to Izzy who was coloring on the paper with the crayons she’d been given at the front. “I love it. I love teaching little ones and showing them concepts they’ve heard about but don’t know how they work.”

 

“Like what?” he asked, knowing the ABCs and 123s of it all.

 

“For instance, we talked about the clock today.”

 

Izzy nodded, not looking up from her coloring to confirm, “Yup! The big hand is the minute and the little hand is the hour and the fast hand is the seconds,” she explained.

 

“Very good!” She grinned at Izzy. “What else did you learn?”

 

She tapped her chin as she thought and he shared a smile with Chrissy. “Oh!” She suddenly exclaimed. “The numbers change if the big hand is on it.”

 

“So, if I said it was 3:15, where are the hands?”

 

Izzy thought about it for a moment. “Okay, so the little hand is on the three.” Chrissy nodded and his daughter looked down at her hand. “The big hand is... on the three, too?” she asked.

 

“Gold star for Izzy Munson!”

 

Izzy did a celebration dance in her chair and Eddie chuckled. “Did I mention she’s the smartest person I know?” he asked Chrissy.

 

She giggled and Izzy hugged his arm. “PawPaw is pretty smart.”

 

“He would argue with you.”

 

“PawPaw?” Chrissy asked.

 

“My Uncle Wayne. He took me in after my mom died and my dad was sent upstate.”

 

“That was good of him,” she said softly.

 

“Maybe not good for him. I know I nearly gave him a heart attack a few times when I was a teenage dirtbag,” he joked. 

 

Alma chose that moment to bring their drinks, straws, a bowl of sliced lemons for Chrissy, and a bottle of ketchup. Eddie stirred his straw around his milkshake, took a sip, and let out a happy sigh. 

 

“Daddy, strawberry is Miss Cunningham’s favorite, too.”

 

Eddie looked up at Chrissy to watch her squeeze a lemon into her water and drop it in the glass. “It is. I don’t have them often. It’s always a fun treat when I do. I usually make them at home.” She then looked up at Eddie. “Speaking of home, you know my best friend and next-door neighbor.”

 

“Oh?” he asked as he tilted his head.

 

“Billy Hargrove.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and laughed. “Yeah, I know Billy. I didn’t know he was your best friend?”

 

She nodded. “For about five years. Steve is great, too, but Billy and I are trauma bonded.”

 

“I like Lila,” Izzy declared before taking a sip of her milkshake.

 

“She’s the best,” she declared. “And she’s my god daughter. Sometimes we have girl nights. We’ll have to invite you to the next one.”

 

“Really?!” she asked excitedly. “I’ve never been to a girls night. What do you do at one?”

 

“Oh, well, we do our nails, play dress up, watch movies, bake cookies.”

 

“Can I come? I like all those things!” Eddie admitted with a chuckle, clapping his hands together.

 

“How do you feel about curlers?” Chrissy asked.

 

“My hair is naturally curly, thank you,” he added with a dramatic hair flip.

 

“What is your opinion on the color ‘blush’?” she asked as she propped her chin on her hand.

 

He mimicked her. “Nice, but not as nice as bashful!” 

 

She sighed dramatically. “What do you say, Izzy? Could your daddy come for girl’s night?”

 

She looked up at Eddie, her eyes wide. “Daddy is good at painting toes. So, yes.”

 

“That does it,” Chrissy laughed, “but if you do decide to come, believe me when I say Billy and Steve will insist on being there.”

 

“I suppose I can suffer through their presence,” he said with a smile. 

 

Their food was brought out at that moment, each plate set on the table. His burger smelled amazing and the loaded fries looked to die for. Izzy was already munching on a fry as he poured a dollop of ketchup onto her plate. “Daddy. I need more than that.”

 

“You need more food than ketchup,” he argued even as he put more on her plate. She moved up to her knees and wiggled happily as she dragged a fry through the ketchup.

 

He looked up at Chrissy who had further cut her sandwich. She didn’t pour her dressing over the salad, but kept it on the side to dip the lettuce into it. He didn’t comment on any of this, only mourned that she would choose that, of all things, to eat at a diner. He took a bite of his burger, feeling ketchup and mustard cover his mouth, chewed the bite quickly, and turned to Izzy. “Do I have something on my face?”

 

She laughed and nodded. “All over your face!” 

 

She was giving big belly laughs as he reached for a napkin and rubbed it away. “How about now?”

 

“Much better,” she still giggled. 

 

He turned back to Chrissy who was watching them. When their eyes met, she turned back to her food and he wanted more than anything to crawl inside her head and find out what she was thinking right then. He wanted to scratch around, roll in all her thoughts, wrap them around him like a blanket, burrito style.

 

He didn’t voice a single bit of that, afraid it would send her running for the hills. Instead, he tried not to stare at her as she ate, but each little bite of her sad dinner made him want to fling himself on top of it, stop her from torturing herself, and rescue the fair maiden from subjecting herself to this.

 

Please, for the love of God, eat some of my fries.

 

“The fries are to share.”

 

Chrissy looked up at him suddenly, her bright blue eyes shining with something that he couldn’t name. “Oh, that’s okay. I only cheat on Saturday.”

 

“Cheat?” he asked.

 

“You know. Cheat meals. I indulge.”

 

He leaned his elbows on the table, knowing it wasn’t proper and not caring in the least. “Cunningham, you’re sitting here with a notorious rebel rouser. When you present me with a rule, I want nothing more than to break it in the most obscene way possible.”

 

She smiled and shook her head. “I’m pretty hard-nosed about sticking to my regimen."

 

He tilted his head. “To what point and purpose, if I might ask?”

 

She sighed and looked at Izzy. “I will tell you, but I’d prefer not to do so in front of little ears,” she answered softly.

 

“Ah. So, you’re going to make me eat this entire plate of fries all by myself?”

 

Her mouth dropped open. “You can take them home.”

 

“Leftover fries? Blegh! Everyone knows fries are not consumed as left overs! No, they must be enjoyed immediately or not at all. Those are the rules.”

 

“Didn’t you just tell me that you break rules?” she teased.

 

His mouth dropped open. “Oh, is that how it’s going to be? Use my own words against me? I’m wounded, Cunningham.”

 

She laughed. “You’re a goofball.”

 

“That, too. But wounded, still.”

 

She shook her head, stared him straight in the eye as she dipped her lettuce in her dressing and took a bite. “Yum.”

 

“No one in the history of the world has ever said ‘yum’ about a salad, so you’re not only mean but a liar.”

 

“Nope. My salad is delicious. Have you ever had their chicken salad? It has apples and cranberries in it.”

 

“In chicken salad? Isn’t chicken salad just mayo and chicken?” he asked around a bite of his burger.

 

“Not at all,” she smiled. “Anything goes with chicken and mayo.”

 

“Apples and cranberries sound terrible.”

 

She held up one of her triangles in front of his face. “Take a bite and live on the wild side?”

 

“You mean the ‘mild side’,” he didn’t take the triangle from her hand, but bit into it where she held it. Whole wheat toast was an abomination to the world. But the chicken salad wasn’t too bad.

 

“Well?”

 

He chewed the bite. “I’ve had worse,” he swallowed it down. “I’m pretty sure that bread absorbed all the moisture in my mouth, though.” He downed most of his milkshake to make his point.

 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

 

“Of course I am. Rockstar,” he said, pointing to himself.

 

She laughed, wrinkling her nose, and it was the cutest fucking thing he’d ever seen. He needed to calm himself down. 

 

She continued to eat her food and he began shoveling fries in his mouth. They were greasy, covered in cheese and bacon, and fucking hot. But so good. She still had two triangles and half her salad left when she placed her fork on the table. He didn’t know why she ate like a bird, but he kind of hated it. However, he didn’t comment on it, not wanting to sound any more like an asshole than he already had. She had seemed to just take it as good natured teasing. But still. 

 

“Daddy, I need more ketchup.” 

 

He turned his attention to his daughter to find her face smeared with ketchup, only one chicken finger of the three eaten, and most of her fries still there. 

 

“Did you drink it?”

 

She giggled and shook her head. “I ate it!”

 

He reached for a napkin and playfully wiped her face, her little squeals echoing as both Chrissy and Eddie laughed. He looked at her. “No more after this. I expect more food in your belly than ketchup.”

 

She patted his hand. “Okay, Daddy,” she said placatingly. He watched as she slathered a fry in ketchup, sucked all the ketchup off, then ate the fry. He grimaced and shook his head.

 

He turned back to Chrissy to see her pushing around her food. He pressed his lips shut for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Sorry if I upset you.”

 

She immediately lifted her head and shook it. “No, you didn’t. I think I’m full, though.”

 

He didn’t comment about all the food left on her plate. He didn’t like how the entire food conversation had gone and he knew that if he had more meals with her in the future, he would watch this carefully. She was perfect. He wanted her to know it. But he thought the intensity of that was too deep for their first meal. Possibly a bit overwhelming. 

 

“So, how did you meet the dynamic duo, as I call them?”

 

“Billy and Steve?” He nodded and grabbed a few fries. “Well, I knew of them in high school. Everyone did. King Steve overthrown by King Billy and all that,” she said with a wave of her hand. “But after...” she paused, seemed to be debating what she was going to say, and continued with, “I ended up in therapy. My therapist suggested group therapy, just to show me I wasn’t alone in my experiences, and that’s where I met Billy. We had a lot more in common than I originally thought, history wise.” She began shredding her napkin as she spoke and he wondered if she was even conscious of it. 

 

“We started meeting up for coffee and he was a terrible flirt and I thought he was legitimately hitting on me. He and Steve lived together and I thought they were just roommates.”

 

Eddie smirked. “How long did it take you to figure it out?”

 

“Too long. Six months.”

 

Eddie’s mouth hung open. “Really?” He covered Izzy’s ears. “They’re always eye fucking each other,” he asserted. He released Izzy who dramatically put her balled up fists on her hips. “Sorry, Peaches, grown-up talk for just a second.”

 

Chrissy sniggered and watched as Izzy went back to arranging her fries into Zs. “Yes, but to be fair, I had never been around anyone like them. At least not to my knowledge. Steve basically said the same thing you did when they found out.”

 

He shook his head. “I thought I was going to have to turn the hose on them once.”

 

She laughed. “More than once. They can get pretty intense. It’s sweet,” she said with a nod. 

 

“It’s annoying,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “They’re sickeningly in love.”

 

She leaned back in the booth and looked at him. “I appreciate it after seeing some of the relationship disasters I’ve seen.”

 

Eddie finished his burger and wiped his hands on a napkin, then his mouth. “Alright, it’s driving me crazy. You said you didn’t get married to the massive tool bag, Carver. Am I allowed to ask why?”

 

She glanced at Izzy who was focused on her fries and coloring. She went back to shredding her napkin. “He didn’t love me.”

 

“How did you find that out?” he questioned.

 

She sighed. “I’m actually surprised you didn’t know. It was the scandal for months,” her voice tight. “Fine, here’s the dirty truth. I made it to my actual wedding day. Dressed and everything. I was coming out of the bridal suite, my bridesmaids with me, and... we heard him tell his best man. He didn’t realize we were still in the room getting ready. He said ‘maybe I can grow to love her’.” She shook her head. “He also said he thought I was simple and stupid and said he should have stayed with Stacey and broken up with me when he had the chance.”

 

Eddie stared at her, shocked that Carver could call anyone stupid when he fumbled the perfect woman. 

 

She continued, a strange detachment in her recounting. “When I confronted him, he admitted that he proposed and agreed to marry me because his father had said he would only allow Jason to take his place as vice president if he married me, because lack of commitment to the woman he’s been dating for over five years showed a lack of commitment over-all.” She shook her head. “I started hitting him with my bouquet, and it took all of my bridesmaids to pull me off of him. He called me a crazy b-” she looked at Izzy, stopping herself, “b-word. My mom showed up and insisted that we work it out after the ceremony. Heather called her a crazy b-word and helped me leave. Jason chased us out to the parking lot, wanting to talk to me, and Heather threatened to spray him with mace. We left and I haven’t seen him since.”

 

Eddie stared at her, blinking several times. “Wow.” He cleared his throat, trying to catch his bearings. “Alright, a few things. First, I’m glad you didn’t marry him. Second, you were always out of his league. Always. Third, your mother is a psychopath. Fourth, where does Heather live so I can send her a fruit basket.”

 

She laughed at the last one. “She’s in California. She’s going to be on Young and the Restless!”

 

“Wow!”

 

She nodded. “I’m so happy for her.”

 

“Only good vibes for Heather. As for your mom and Jason, may I wish for a plague of biblical proportions to fall upon both of them?”

 

She snorted and looked down at her hands. “Please!” She then looked up at him. “You read the bible?”

 

“Of course. There’s all kinds of gnarly sh-stuff to reference.”

 

They both glanced at Izzy who had her tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrated on coloring. Chrissy smiled softly at her and Eddie was sure he fell a little in love with his high school crush at that moment. She took a deep breath. “As for my mom and Jason, they deserve it. I don’t speak to my mother. Let’s just say she didn’t take my jilting Jason very well.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

She nods. “I live five minutes from her and we have no relationship. My father and I still talk. He was fully supportive when I told him what happened. He helped me find somewhere to live and fully funded me going to school despite my mother insisting that I be cut off until I agreed to marry Jason.”

 

“What a bitch!”

 

Izzy’s head shot up and Eddie dropped his head back. She held her little hand out and he slapped a five into it. “I’m paying ahead of time for four other cuss words I’m going to say.”

 

His precious child nodded and Chrissy giggled. “She didn’t even question it.”

 

He shrugged. “I am who I am, I suppose. You say Carver is in Arkansas. I think I can hire someone to take him out.”

 

Chrissy shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. “Not necessary. My other bridesmaids spread it around that he had a small...” she gave a wave of her hand and Eddie smirked, “and that his abilities in the bedroom were less than satisfactory.”

 

He leaned forward. “Tell me all of that’s true,” he whispered.

 

She grinned. “More true than he’d want it to be.”

 

“I wish they sold champagne here!” he declared and she laughed. “No, Cunningham, do you know the hell he reaped on kids in this town? What he did to some of those younger kids? He deserves it all.”

 

She sighed. “Yeah, I’m aware of what he did. The one time I tried to tell him to stop, he told my mom I had embarrassed him in front of everyone and I got grounded for two weeks.”

 

His euphoria dropped away and fury filled him. “Tell me where she lives.” Chrissy raised her eyebrows in askance. “I’m not going to physically touch her. Just... spray paint a pentagram in her front yard. And her drive way. Possibly her car and front door, just depends how much time I have.”

 

She shook her head, a rueful smile on her face. “She’s not worth it but I appreciate the sentiment.”

 

“Fine, don’t tell me. I’ll find out for myself.”

 

“Eddie.”

 

“Fine, no spray painting. I’ll just empty her garbage in her front yard and make it spell out the word ‘bitch’.” Izzy looked up at him again. “I already paid you for that one.”

 

“Three more, Daddy,” she affirmed and continued coloring. 

 

Their waitress approached and smiled at them. “Can I get you anything else?”

 

“I need a to-go box and can I get something to put my dressing in?” she asked. 

 

“Sure thing, doll. How about you?” she asked Eddie. 

 

He looked at Izzy’s plate. She had about a fourth of one chicken finger left and had eaten all of her fries. “Nah, we’re good. One check.”

 

“No, you don’t have to do that.”

 

“I know. It’s my treat,” he said with a smile and wink. Internally, he was dying, could he be anymore cheesy. He decided to divert attention.  “Can I get a Coke to go?”

 

“Sure thing,” she said as she placed the check on the table and Eddie removed his wallet. He placed a $50 on top of the check and put it back in his pocket. 

 

He looked over at Izzy as she colored, oblivious to how her father was a blithering idiot, thankfully. “Wanna take that with us?”

 

She shook her head then wrote her name at the top of the page. “Nope,” she popped the ‘p’ and he nearly died with how adorable she was. She slid the page over to Chrissy. “I colored it for you!”

 

Chrissy’s smile lit up her face. “You did?” 

 

“I even signed it! And I used yellow ‘cause I liked your yellow dress,” Izzy explained.

 

Eddie’s heart melted as Chrissy’s expression softened. She leaned across the table and settled her hand over her little one. “This is beautiful! I’m going to put it on my refrigerator at home. When you come over for girl’s night, you’ll be able to see it!”

 

Izzy beamed at her and at that moment he realized that he had already fallen for Chrissy and her ability to bring such happiness to his daughter made him fall even deeper. Alma returned with a styrofoam container and small bowl for Chrissy and his to-go drink. She picked up the $50 and the check and Eddie waved at her. “Keep the change.”

 

She stopped. “Are you sure?”

 

He nodded. “For such outstanding service.”

 

She grinned at him, “Thank you!”

 

“Thank you,” he added with a smile in return.

 

Chrissy put her remaining food into her box and bowl, then stacked them neatly on the table, gently setting the drawing on it. Izzy climbed onto his lap and rested her head against his chest. She yawned gently and Chrissy smiled. “I think it’s probably time to call it a night.”

 

“Getting really close to bedtime,” he agreed, though he was loath to leave her presence. He knew it was too early to ask her to run away and marry him, but it was a close thing. He prompted Izzy to stand, and he followed suit. He extended a hand to Chrissy and helped her to her feet and he simply gazed at her for probably what was too long, given that Izzy tugged on his sleeve. He looked down at her and took her little hand in his, picked up his cup, and followed Chrissy out of the diner. 

 

He buckled Izzy into her seat and closed the door, then turned to find Chrissy standing beside him with a piece of paper in her hand. “This is my number if you ever need anything. Emergency baby sitter or something.”

 

He smiled and took it from her. “I can write mine down.” She handed him a pen and a small pad. “Adding my beeper number, too. Just in case,” he added. 

 

She took it from him with a smile and looked up at him. “I had a great time.”

 

“Yeah, so did I. We should do it again.”

 

“Totally.”

 

“Soon. Maybe... one night where Izzy maybe has something else scheduled.”

 

She blinked at him, then her smile went wide. “Yeah, if-if you want.”

 

“I definitely want,” he said softly. 

 

She pointed at her car. “I’m gonna go. Ya know, save myself from doing something embarrassing.”

 

“‘Something’ like what?” 

 

“Oh, you know, trip over my own two feet getting into my car.”

 

“Then allow me to help you inside,” he said as he held his hand out to her and she looked up at him from beneath her lashes and his breath stopped. It was only the knock on the window behind him that broke the moment. She slid inside the driver’s seat and he closed the door for her. He waved as she backed out and he looked over his shoulder at Izzy before he walked around the car and climbed in. 

 

“Izzy, honey, sweet pea, you are equally the best and worst wing man ever.”

 

“What’s a wingman?”

 

“Hard to explain. Can you wait until you’re older to find out?”

 

“Sure, Daddy. Can we go home?”

 

“Yep,” he said as he slid his seat belt on and pulled out of the parking lot. Izzy was trying to go to sleep, but he knew if she did, she’d never go down when they got home, so he started playing twenty questions with her, keeping her awake. He felt bad about it, but not bad enough not to do it. 

 

When they pulled up to the house, the light in the living room was on and Wayne’s truck was in the driveway. He pulled in behind him, helped Izzy out of the car, and followed her inside. “Pawpaw we’re home!” she called and ran to him.

 

“Hey there. What have you two been up to?”

 

“We went to the park and then the diner! We had dinner with my teacher.”

 

“Oh? Did you?” Wayne asked, looking up at Eddie with a knowing smile. 

 

“Don’t start.”

 

“Start what?” Izzy asked.

 

“Yeah, start what?” Wayne repeated.

 

Eddie rolled his eyes and turned back to Izzy. “Bath, teeth, bed,” he said with a snap of his fingers. She placed a kiss on Wayne’s cheek. 

 

“Don’t think you’re getting out of talking to me about this,” Wayne called.

 

“Not now, Wayne,” he called over his shoulder as he followed Izzy down the hall.

 

*~*

 

“I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham.” Eddie finished in his best huffy voice.

 

“Daddy,” Izzy’s voice was soft, letting him know she was on the edge of sleep.

 

“What is it, princess?”

 

“I like Miss Cunningham.”

 

He pressed his lips to her hair. “Me too.”

 

“She’s really pretty.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And nice,” she then yawned and curled into him a bit more.

 

“She is,” he answered softly, wondering where this was going. 

 

“Can you marry her?” she asked softly.

 

“That's all it takes. Her to be pretty and nice?” he asked with a chuckle. 

 

“She’d be a good mom,” she answered and his heart broke. 

 

“Yeah, I think so, too,” he whispered against her blonde hair. “But, ya know, there’s no guarantee that will happen. Is it ok with you if it stays just you, me, and Pawpaw?”

 

She was quiet for a moment then nodded. “Yeah. You, me, and Pawpaw.”

 

He placed a kiss on her hair and finished reading Green Eggs and Ham . He laid there a few minutes after finishing, staring at her and wondering if this had all been a huge mistake. Was he putting his own wants in front of Izzy? Would it be wrong to start something with Chrissy as it could end and potentially ruin her relationship with Izzy? God he was such a selfish idiot. Starting something with Chrissy wouldn’t actually be for Izzy, but for him. Because of what he wanted. He tucked the blanket up around her, made sure her bear was tucked in her arms, then walked into the living room where Wayne was watching the news. 

 

Eddie grabbed a beer from the fridge and settled on the sofa. “So,” Wayne started, “you had dinner with Izzy’s teacher?”

 

He sighed. “Gonna give me hell for it?”

 

“A little. How was it?”

 

He took a swig. “Good. Really... yeah, good.”

 

Wayne’s smile fell away. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Izzy just asked me if I could marry her,” he said and took a large gulp before looking at Wayne who was grinning at him.

 

“So it was a very good dinner.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “Wayne, this is not good.”

 

“How so?”

 

“She just wants a mom. I think any female around that was good to her would do the trick.”

 

Wayne leaned back in his recliner. “Is that what you really think?”

 

“I think she’s missing out on things because she doesn’t have a mom. And Chrissy... she has this... ease with Izzy. She’s great, Wayne.and so pretty. Like, the kind of pretty that gives you butterflies, ya know? But I feel like I’m setting it all up for failure.”

 

Wayne turned the TV off and Eddie looked up at him. “Butterflies, huh?” Eddie hung his head, embarrassed he’d given that much up. “Never lose the butterflies. Look, I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you of my experience with you as a teen and as a grown man. You’ve been over the moon for her since you were in middle school. I could always tell when it was a ‘Chrissy’ day. You had this extra... I don’t know, not really pep in your step because you’re not a pep kind of person. Maybe liveliness or enthusiasm. I remember, your third senior year, you got up early for school every morning for an entire semester because she was in your first period class.” He shook his head. “If you choose not to pursue this because you’re legitimately worried that it will cause harm to Izzy, fine. But if you’re using that as an excuse to create distance, then boy, you’ll lose her before you ever had her.”

 

He sighed. “How do I know? How do I know if I’m... potentially creating distance because I’m actually afraid for Izzy or if I’m just... afraid?”

 

“I don’t know. I do know that the fourteen year old in middle school would be screaming in your face how stupid you’re being.”

 

He groaned. “God, I was such a shit head. How did you tolerate me?”

 

He shrugged. “You made a pretty good grilled cheese.” Eddie laughed and Wayne chuckled. “Let me ask you this, would it kill you to actually ask her out first before you decide that whatever is going on here is a catastrophe?”

 

“No, we sort of already agreed that we should have dinner, just the two of us.”

 

“She seems to like you. There was a time long ago that if you’d known, you’d have been insufferable. At least take her out one time before you declare this is all useless.”

 

Eddie sighed. “Fine! I’ll take the hot teacher out.”

 

“Atta boy,” he declared before he turned the TV back on. “Now, hush up, Letterman is coming on.”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes, stood, and went downstairs into the basement he had converted into a studio. He turned on the recorder, walked into the booth, picked up his guitar and began to play. He just needed to get something out. The only song that kept coming to mind, he started playing and singing. 

 

When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fucking special

 

He rubbed the heels of his hands over his eyes and felt like he was going to scream. He knew Wayne was right, declaring this a bad idea before it ever happened wasn’t fair to Chrissy, arbitrarily deciding what was and wasn’t good for her. But there was also Izzy to consider and he didn’t want her to get confused. He knew that what he really needed to do was talk to Chrissy. He could do that. He could ask what she thought, if it was even worth pursuing. 

 

If she decided that it wasn’t worth it, then he would move on, knowing he got so close to what he’d always wanted but not reaching it. He was moping and with a groan, he dropped his hands, slid his hands over the strings and began playing Master of Puppets . Anything to keep himself from wallowing in his own self-pity. He would talk to her tomorrow. Well, Friday at the latest. At the cheer thing. He had a plan. The only thing he had to do was find the courage to actually go through with it.

Notes:

Hi guys, so I was thinking I should give you guys a visual of how sweet Chrissy is dressed. In my head, she dresses like Kelly Taylor from the original Beverly Hills 90210. Here is a picture of her current outfit

The "kind of pretty that gives you butterflies. Never lose the butterflies" is actually from Dawson's Creek which was my second obsession, 90210 was first. Pacey says this about Joey Potter after he got drunk and said some scathing things at her and Dawson. He was lamenting to his brother, the deputy, about how Joey irritates him, but Doug knows there's more to it. Look, I'm gonna say this: Pacey was the best boyfriend ever. Period. We will not take any discussion on it. Some of the shit he says is some of the best dialogue ever written. And make it come out of Joshua Jackson's face? I'm gone forever. Pacey and Joey Forever. I'm showing my age but I honestly don't care!

Anyway, drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

Notes:

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. This will be alternating POVs with Chrissy up next.

Some notes:

Wayne Strikes me as kind of old school, so I had Izzy call him PawPaw. Very popular here in the south. I never called my grandfather's that, but the number of people I know who used PawPaw is probably in the dozens.

Eddie and Izzy have a swear jar where he works really hard not to say those words around daughter. But since he caught himself from saying "fuck", instead of the full dollar he usually had to pay, he gives her fifty cents. He's a man of compromise.

Izzy is insulted by being called a gremlin when she is clearly cuddly like Gismo, the Mogwai. However, interrupt her sleep or steal her food, and watch how much of a gremlin she can become.

Title is from the song above, "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence. God, Amy Lee's voice is amazing. To this day I can listen to any song they sing and just be transported.

Of all the John Wayne movies out there, my favorite is "McLintock". John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara had excellent chemistry in all of their movies (especially the quiet man if you're looking for a real romance) but this was also a take on Taming of the Shrew, which I think is hilarious. John Wayne meets Shakespeare. Who would have thought. But in the movie, this huge fight breaks out at this quarry and everyone involved ends up at the water at the bottom of the quarry, even Mrs. McLintock (O'Hara) as she wasn't going to stay out of a fight just because she was a woman. Also, if you watch the movie, Mrs. Warren is Lily Munster and Dev Warren is actually John Wayne's son, Patrick Wayne. My parents will go through John Wayne's catalogue of their favorites at least once every two weeks. I know way too much about these movies.

Izzy is short for Isabell. I got the name Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210. Kelly Taylor was played by Jennie Garth, and she was my favorite character from the show. But they lived in LA in the 90s, I just thought it worked.

Reference to "Dreamweaver". If you've never seen Wayne's World (why not?) then let me set the scene. Wayne (Mike Meyers before Austin Powers) sees Casandra Wong (Tia Carrere) on stage with her band. They totally rock, trust me. But she's playing guitar and singing her ass off, and when he sees her, everything around her goes fuzzy and there's like this mist and glow surrounding her as the song "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright plays.

Izzy's dislike of the R.O.U.S.es in the Princess Bridge goes along with my aversion to rodents. All rodents. Fictional and real. I'm out. I hate them.