Singularity

by SpiderBedo

Summary:

Hybrids: A species who looks nearly identical to a human save for a few animalistic features. Highly intelligent for an animal and are known to inherit behavior traits from the animal their distinct features originate from. Best used as therapy or service pets, but often also used as a way to signify wealth.

Suguru had never been comfortable with the idea of hybrids. They looked far too human in his eyes. Despite his reservations, he finds himself adopting one, if only to appease his therapist who'd suggested it. He'd planned to "try it out" for two weeks or so and then immediately return the hybrid, claiming it wasn't for him. But when he lays eyes on a stunning snow leopard hybrid, maybe there's a chance he'll give it a real chance.

Satoru's life has been hell since the second he was born. Hybrids like him were deemed as animals and "trained" until they didn't dare let their intelligence be known even after being bought by an owner and taken away. He'd fought against it for years, but he was tired now. At least they'd let him keep his voice. Others weren't as lucky. Yet when a strange, gentle human bought him, a spark of life finally reignited within Satoru.

Chapter 1: Sound of Something Breaking

Suguru felt ridiculous.

 

He stood outside a store decorated with cheery colors and posters of happy customers with their specialized pets, each poster containing a quote about how much better hybrids were at being therapy animals.

 

Something about it had always filled Suguru with unease even if he’d only brush it off in the next second. He’d been told before he thought too deeply about things, and he was bad enough when it came to spoiling regular pets.

 

He’d probably been standing outside, shifting his weight from one foot to the next, for a good few minutes. The store name, Hybrid Helpers , hadn’t miraculously changed between the countless times Suguru had read it just to question everything. Still, his therapist had highly recommended it. Or in other words, if he didn’t at least try this option, then she wouldn’t move forward with things until he at least gave it a chance.

 

It would be fine. If he really hated it, he could just return the hybrid after a few weeks, say that he’d given it his best shot, and then it would all be behind them. Even Shoko had said to just go along with it, even if only to have an ‘I told you so’ moment.

 

Suguru took a deep breath and walked through the doors. A small bell jingled as he stepped into the lobby, and he almost cringed. The last thing he’d wanted was for his presence to be announced in such a place, but there was no one inside save for the receptionist who’d already turned to him with a blinding smile.

 

Suguru waved in greeting before he strolled over as if it was the most normal thing he’d done in his entire life. He’d half expected the place to smell just like every pet store he’d stepped inside, but if someone had led him in with his eyes covered, he’d have assumed he was in any regular building. He knew hybrids were highly intelligent animals, a step or two above dogs, but he’d still expected something a little different.

 

It didn’t take long for Suguru to introduce himself and for the receptionist to go through the letter of recommendation his therapist had sent. The place seemed awfully quiet for the hybrid industry apparently being highly lucrative. That being said, he’d heard plenty of hybrids would cost a small fortune if bought out of pocket.

 

“It looks like your insurance should completely cover a hybrid of the lowest tier. A handler will be over soon to show you around,” the lady said, breaking him out of his thoughts after she’d skimmed his information. “For your purposes, the lower tier will be completely fine. They all get the same basic training, so the major differences come down to them being purebred or of rarer species. We get plenty of rich folk in here wanting their pet to double as a pretty trophy.”

 

The receptionist laughed a little and Suguru tried to as well, even if only to be polite. He wiped his hands against his pants to get the clammy sweat off his palms. Everything about what he was doing was fine. Just because it made him uncomfortable or seemed strange to him didn’t mean it was wrong.

 

“Geto Suguru, right?” a man said as he walked over, a smile on his face as he extended his hand for Suguru to shake. “You came to the right branch if you’re looking for a therapy animal.”

 

Suguru took his hand. “So I’ve heard.”

 

Suguru followed the man as he was led to a door that opened into a long hallway. A shiver prickled its way up and down Suguru’s spine even as he forced himself to keep walking. Cages of glass lined the walls, a hybrid in each as if a zoo exhibit had crossed with a petstore. They all looked far too human, the only differences being the animal ears and tails, or the occasional claws, fangs, or slightly scaled skin when it came to the reptile hybrids.

 

At least they all wore grey gowns, though. Suguru took a deep breath as he tried to control his heartbeat. Despite their similarities, hybrids weren’t humans or even close to them. Just animals that bore an uncanny resemblance to them. That was all.

 

The handler chuckled as he looked back at Suguru, a knowing smile on his face. “I felt similarly at first too when I started working here. It’ll be awkward for a few days, but you’ll adjust since they’re nothing like us. They’re pretty similar to their animal counterparts, so I’d suggest that you choose one based on what sort of normal pet you’d consider.”

 

Suguru nodded, his mouth dry. It was fine. Everything was fine. At least he was prepared for this part with the way he’d done what research he could. Hybrids were rare enough that they’d turn a few heads while in public, but not so uncommon that it was some strange thing to have one.

 

“I’m more of a cat person,” Suguru got out. He’d considered getting himself a cat a few years ago, but had decided against it with the way he was barely even able to take care of himself. Any pet was a serious responsibility, which was why he still couldn’t believe he was actually doing this.

 

“That’s great news! Our feline section always has several options,” the handler said as he led Suguru down a connecting hallway. “That being said, they are usually harder to predict based on their breeds. You know how cats are.”

 

Suguru snorted as he finally relaxed by a fraction. “Tell me about it. My friend’s cat has given me more scratches than I can count no matter how sweet she looks.”

 

“Ah, you needn’t worry about that, Geto. Our hybrids are highly trained and —”

 

They turned the corner and the man’s voice faded away. In the back corner cage, a snow leopard slept, his long spotted tail curled up around him and his face hidden behind his folded arms. Suguru wasn’t sure he’d ever seen something so beautiful even if his skin still crawled.

 

The handler followed his gaze. “A beauty, isn’t he?”

 

Suguru nodded, and the handler led him closer. The hybrid’s tail had to be at least five feet long, and even though Suguru never would since cats hated their tails being touched, he could almost imagine sinking his hands into the luscious fur that covered the entire limb.

 

“He’s an interesting case,” the handler continued. “Usually, a hybrid like him would be at the highest and most expensive tier, but he was very stubborn and aggressive even into his teen years. There’s always a few felines like that, but after some personalized and focused training, he’s just as well behaved as any other hybrid here. He just has too much of a record to be anywhere else.”

 

Well shit. Suguru’s hand hovered over the glass. He really shouldn’t be getting so carried away just from how aesthetically appealing the hybrid was. “So he’s okay now?”

 

Literally any other choice would be smarter, but he just couldn’t look away. Shoko had been the same way with her own terror of a cat and had left the adoption center with several scratch marks, but the biggest smile on her face even as Suguru rolled his eyes at her objectively poor decision.

 

“I’d say he’s even better behaved than most of the others,” the handler confirmed. “It’s often the more intelligent ones who are harder to train, which means he won’t just be following commands mindlessly. He’s learned to choose doing so. We can go inside so the two of you can interact a bit and get a feel for each other.”

 

Suguru turned to the man with wide eyes. He was definitely going down the same path Shoko had. “We can?”

 

“Just follow me,” the handler said as he pulled keys from his belt and led Suguru to a small hall that ran along the backs of every cage. “It’s recommended that potential owners get an introduction before purchasing. We highly value customer satisfaction, so returns with full refunds are guaranteed for two years after purchase. Thankfully, it rarely happens despite the long time frame.”

 

Then the man was turning a lock to a door and ushering Suguru in to step into the vast cage. If anything, it was almost the size of his bedroom, but void of anything aside from the almost comically large animal bed the hybrid lay napping on. Maybe the place just didn’t want too much clutter during hours potential customers would be shopping.

 

Suguru took a hesitant step forward, careful not to make a sound. It almost felt wrong to even consider waking up the cat, but despite the effort he made to keep each footstep silent, the hybrid’s bright blue eyes blinked open sleepily and stared at him. Suguru’s heart stopped as they locked gazes for a second, before Suguru tore his away. He could tell himself all he wanted that he’d done so because cats saw eye contact as a challenge, but if anything, icy shivers had washed down his spine. Those eyes were too human and far too intelligent.

 

Breathe. He just needed to breathe and stop getting so lost in his head. Maybe it was good he was having so many doubts about them being mere animals, even if logically, he knew that was the case. He wasn’t ready to be desensitized to something who looked so human.

 

He tried to look at literally anything but the hybrid’s human face, but froze as his gaze landed on the two thick mitts cinched around the hybrid’s hands.

 

“Why are his hands, uh…” Suguru started. It all felt wrong even as he reminded himself it was just his brain wrongly thinking the hybrid looked human enough to be one.

 

“We had to put those on so the poor thing would stop biting at his nails,” the handler said with a sad shake of his head. “Satoru here is a bit anxious.”

 

“Satoru?” Suguru echoed. Even the name was human.

 

The handler nodded. “We make sure to give the hybrids names. His family one is Gojo so we can more easily keep track of lineages. Makes things simple to file.”

 

Suguru nodded. So much for having some cute and common pet name like ‘Snowball’.

 

“Go on. You can approach him,” the handler encouraged him. Suguru looked back at Satoru again who was just staring at him as if bored.

 

He could do this.

 

Suguru took a shaky step forward and then another until only a foot or two separated him from Satoru. He was towering over him and that felt all wrong, so he slowly lowered himself to his knees so they were on near equal level.

 

Satoru’s eyes followed Suguru’s hand as he reached forward to comb through Satoru’s hair. He almost pulled away at first contact, Satoru’s hair just like a human’s aside from the snow leopard ears that peaked up from Satoru’s from it.

 

Satoru blinked up at him as if wondering why Suguru was hesitating. Great. He was getting judged by a cat. Perfect.

 

Suguru finally willed himself to touch Satoru’s head again and run his hands through Satoru’s hair. The effect was near immediate with some sort of peace and even relief flowing through Suguru when Satoru leaned into it ever so slightly. It was all okay. Satoru seemed to either be mildly enjoying it, or at least encouraging Suguru to relax.

 

“I…” Suguru started. Satoru was still looking at him, seemingly at peace with having a stranger next to him. Most cats weren’t the same, but maybe Satoru was the type of cat who expected everyone to bend to his will. “I think I’d like Satoru.”

 

“You don’t want to see the others?” the handler questioned behind him.

 

Suguru was being stupid. Of course it wasn’t a wise choice to just go with the first hybrid he met, but he could swear that something about Satoru just pulled him in.

 

Suguru shook his head before he finally smiled. He hadn’t felt so relaxed for so long. “I don’t think I need to. He’s perfect.”

 

Suguru could swear Satoru’s eyes widened by the smallest of increments in shock, but it had to be Suguru’s brain playing tricks on him. Hybrids only understood some basic commands and their name from what he’d researched.

 

“I’d usually encourage you to at least look at the others, but I’ve seen plenty of people like you who get instantly attached. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a return from you people,” the handler said with a little laugh. At least Suguru wasn’t the only one. “Follow me and I’ll give you the rundown and paperwork while we get Satoru ready to be moved. Right this way.”

 

Suguru took one last look at Satoru whose eyes had somehow become blank, but not in the sleepy way as they’d been earlier like so many cats he’d seen in the past. It almost looked as if it was a carefully made empty look like a human would make.

 

The handler was right. It would be a few awkward days as Suguru adjusted, but he’d give Satoru a chance. He got to his feet and followed the handler out the cage. It wasn’t long until he was led into a perfectly normal looking office, and he took a seat on one side of the handler’s apparent work desk.

 

“Aside from a few papers to sign, we generally like to give new owners a rundown on what exactly to expect with a hybrid pet,” the handler said as he pushed a small binder of papers toward Suguru. “This is essentially a manual. It has all the commands that our hybrids will understand. As you can see, it is rather extensive, especially since they’re trained to recognize variations of the same command. You won’t have to memorize it all word for word.”

 

Suguru nodded as he flipped the binder open. His eyebrows raised as he skimmed the pages. They really hadn’t been kidding when they’d claimed their training to be extensive no matter the price tier of hybrid.

 

The handler pushed a collar toward Suguru. “It is law that hybrids must wear collars when taken outside, though we suggest that they be kept on at all times due to how intelligent they can be. There’s a tracker inside, a clip on the outside for a leash when going out, and an electric shock feature inside it. There’s three different levels of shocks. Level one will be a reprimand to it so it’ll think twice, level two will hurt and leave it a little stunned for a few seconds, and level three is the harshest. It’s generally only advised to use only if needed, but it won’t kill a hybrid. As a general reminder, do not test the shock levels on yourself. Hybrids are much sturdier than humans, so the levels have been adjusted accordingly.”

 

Suguru tried not to frown. He’d always hated the idea of shocking animals, even if for training, but it made sense with hybrids. Especially ones like Satoru who had been aggressive at some point in their lives. It was just for safety. With any luck, Suguru would never have to use it.

 

“And lastly, here’s our care package,” the man said with a smile as he lifted a decorated bag and handed it to Suguru. “There’s a leash inside, the remote for the shock collar along with QR code so you can download the settings app on your phone to calibrate the collar, a few cans of recommended hybrid food, and some grooming brushes. Feline hybrids are usually very good when it comes to grooming themselves, but it can be a good bonding moment for the two of you.”

 

Suguru nodded. Everything was honestly sounding like he’d just be owning a giant cat who might just listen to him every once in a while. He could work with that.

 

“You said Satoru is anxious,” Suguru said, thinking back to the mitts around Satoru’s hands. They must be hell for him to wear, especially with the way even normal cats hated it when anything touched their paws. “Is there anything I can do to help him? Like calming things, I don’t know, whatever cat hybrid Prozac is?”

 

The handler laughed as he shook his head. “Don’t worry, Satoru will be perfectly fine. He probably just needs a good home and owner to take care of him. We do what we can here, but it just isn’t really meant to be a long term home for them, you know? If he keeps having problems, then just reach out to us and we’ll figure out something together.”

 

Suguru nodded. From there on out it was all paperwork with the handler reading out the surprisingly short list of what hybrid abuse was defined as. If anything, it was concerning. Suguru was pretty sure most animals had better rights than that… but at the same time, the handler was probably just pointing out the obvious rules the same way tech support would ask if you’d tried turning your computer off and on again. No shit Suguru wasn’t allowed to kill or have intercourse with a hybrid. Both ideas nauseated him.

 

All too soon, Suguru found himself in the lobby again. Everything still felt like a whirlwind he still hadn’t processed, but his thoughts settled as his gaze landed on Satoru. The hybrid was standing as any human would and obviously trying not to shift from one foot to the next, his long tail wrapped around his leg with the tip of it flicking back and forth over and over again.

 

Poor thing. Even if the facility wasn’t the best place for it, Suguru couldn’t imagine that suddenly being moved and handed off to a stranger without any understanding of what was happening would be anything but stressful. The staff member who stood beside him didn’t seem to care about the hybrid’s obvious anxiety.

 

Suguru walked over as quietly as he could in an attempt to look as non threatening as possible, and set the bag of things he’d received down on the ground before he pulled out the collar.

 

He couldn’t help but smile a little as he realized Satoru was just a few inches taller than him. To his surprise, Satoru bowed his head so Suguru could fasten the device around his neck better. He’d been trained for the moment, then.

 

Suguru tried not to think too hard about how it really felt he was collaring an actual human, but pushed the thought away as he checked if he could slip a finger underneath the collar so it wouldn’t be too tight. He’d get used to it eventually, and Suguru made sure to untuck the few stray hairs that had gotten stuck under the collar.

 

Used to it. It seemed he was already planning on keeping Satoru, then. So much for just trying to survive a week or two and then giving up.

 

“And there we go,” Suguru murmured to himself as he clipped the leash to Satoru’s collar. In all honesty, it was more for show than anything else. He had no doubt Satoru could drag him wherever he pleased if he decided to.

 

He pulled away, and instead of finding Satoru looked a bit miffed as any cat would be at a collar, if not actively trying to scratch his face off, he almost seemed… pleasantly shocked? His blue eyes had widened by the smallest of fractions as if in wonder.

 

Suguru once again tried to banish the thought from his mind. His brain was just trying to project human emotions onto Satoru since he looked so similar to one. That was it. Nothing more and nothing less.

 

Suguru thanked the staff member who’d brought Satoru out before he led with Satoru following a step behind, the leash completely lax between them. Suguru almost froze before walking out the door.

 

Satoru would be fine in a car, right? Cats went crazy in them, and while Satoru was a hybrid and highly trained, he had the instincts of one.

 

Oh well. Suguru would figure it out. Walking home would be a pain especially since he’d then have to later retrieve his car, but it was viable. Either way they’d get home, even if one way would take far longer than the other.

Chapter 2: Suddenly Wake from Sleep

Satoru’s new owner almost seemed shocked when Satoru kept still to be buckled in for the car ride. He had to be inexperienced if he’d… Just what had he expected? For Satoru to refuse him? For him to resist? They wouldn’t have put him up for sale if they hadn’t trained any and all disobedience out of him.

 

He wasn’t sure yet if his owner’s inexperience was a good or bad thing as the car started. The man glanced back at him as if making sure once again that he wouldn’t bolt or whatever he seemed to be half expecting, and then the car began to move. It was nicer than almost every other time he’d been transported elsewhere. He hadn’t been put in some box or cage with no stability as the car’s movement would throw his balance all off and make his head dizzy.

 

His owner seemed gentle so far. Maybe even kind if Satoru dared to hope for such a thing. He’d been so shy to even pet Satoru, and after Satoru had given him a little encouragement to just do it, he’d never pulled at Satoru’s hair or ruffled it. If anything, he’d seemed intent on focusing more on how Satoru would feel about it and less on his own convenience. He’d even made sure that Satoru’s new collar wouldn’t choke him or be uncomfortable when others had always just fastened it around his neck as tightly as possible so he’d have no chance of taking it off. He’d even untucked some of the hair caught in it. Humans were never so kind or caring.

 

Satoru squashed down his budding hope. Humans were only nice to each other or would put on pretences when around other humans. The handler who’d shown his new owner around with nice words and a wide smile…

 

The less Satoru thought of him, the better. He wasn’t supposed to think anyway, even if it was the one thing he couldn’t seem to just turn off. He was supposed to be a dumb animal. An animal and nothing more.

 

Still, no matter how dizzy it made him, Satoru couldn’t stop taking quick peeks out the window and at the world that passed in a blur outside. He hadn’t so much as stepped outside that facility for years. Those few seconds of sunlight that had warmed his skin hadn’t lasted long, but he wanted to remember them forever.

 

Satoru squeezed his tail between his legs to keep it still. The end of it continued to flick back and forth with the way it had a mind of its own, but maybe if he kept the rest of it still, his owner wouldn’t notice.

 

His owner kept glancing back and was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel every so often. Anxious. It had to be because of Satoru’s record that wouldn’t ever totally leave him or be erased. He wished he could question just why his owner would pick him when even he seemed nervous about what a hazard Satoru was, but the answer was clear. Satoru, whether he liked it or not, was rare and pretty. That was the only reason he’d been picked over the others, and his skin crawled.

 

There wasn’t anything he could do about it. He didn’t even dare hope that just maybe his owner wanted a hybrid like him to show off or have as some sort of trophy. Whatever reason his owner had for picking him specifically, Satoru would have no choice but to follow. Even he wouldn’t risk what happened to hybrids if returned. He’d seen it himself and they’d never been the same afterwards.

 

He’d been young when one of the handlers had rounded Satoru up with other hybrids his age and told them that they were going to see a demonstration of what was done when a hybrid failed and was sent back for it. Satoru had known it would be particularly bad when they’d pre-emptively tied a muzzle on him.

 

Satoru had found out why very quickly. They’d been right to do so if they’d wanted to stay unharmed.

 

There was a fourth level to those shock collars and he’d watched as a hybrid screamed silently, their voice gone judging by their bandaged neck. The handler had explained to them just how carefully they had to time breaks between shocks so it wouldn’t kill the hybrid.

 

They’d been brought in for around an hour every day for a week to see how the hybrid deteriorated before them. Nails slowly peeled off, hair and fur burnt from electrocution, near incoherency from days without sleep, and drugs injected into them to torture them when the electricity got close to cooking them from the inside out. By the time their punishment was over, they were a lifeless husk who’d obey without question, but nothing else. Handlers would rarely fully break them since future owners would want some spark of life in their eyes, but sometimes they made exceptions.

 

Satoru had just about been one of those exceptions with the way he’d been a pain for them since he was born. Maybe he was supposed to be from everything they’d done during his teenage years, but it didn’t matter now. His new owner had seen something he’d liked in Satoru, and Satoru would have to cling to that like a lifeline, no matter what it was.

 

The car finally stopped, and Satoru stole another glance outside the window. This was it. He’d find out soon if his new life could somehow get even worse.

 

His owner opened the door for him and unbuckled Satoru before motioning him to follow. They paused before going in for his owner to pick up some mail, and Satoru managed to catch his owner’s name on it. Geto Suguru. It didn’t really matter if he knew or not, but he still wanted a name to attach to the man.

 

Satoru stepped into the apartment after the man. It smelled faintly of fading artificial lemon, which meant it must have been cleaned within the last few days. If anything, the entire place looked plain, even empty, if Satoru were to judge. More functional than an actual home.

 

“Okay… Okay, I can do this,” Geto whispered to himself, and Satoru’s ears perked up to latch onto the sound. Geto would never talk to him, but Satoru needed every clue that could point to just why Geto had purchased a hybrid. It wasn’t like Satoru could ask. He was just lucky they’d let him keep his vocal chords even though hybrids were never allowed to speak. As far as the general public knew, they didn’t have the intelligence to form actual words. If he was returned, Satoru had no doubt they’d be ripped from him as they were from so many hybrids. They’d only kept them intact to threaten him. It was one of the few things that had worked.

 

“Fuck. I really don’t know what I’m doing,” Geto said to himself as he placed the car keys onto a kitchen counter. “Why was she so insistent on a therapy hybrid instead of a regular therapy animal? I could have just gotten a cat like Shoko’s. Preferably one that wouldn’t use my arm as a scratching post, though…”

 

Oh. He’d gotten Satoru for therapy reasons. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad and Satoru’s job would just include being very huggable and calming. As soon as that spark of hope lit up, Satoru blew it out. They might have recommended a hybrid instead so Geto could take it all out on Satoru.

 

Geto finally fully looked at him, and Satoru froze.

 

“Um… Stay,” Geto commanded. His voice wavered, the word unbearably awkward for some reason, before he walked away.

 

Odd. Satoru’s new owner was a very strange human.

 

Satoru willed his tail not to flick back and forth from the nerves that thrummed through his body, but the thing still refused to listen to him. If he was guessing right, he was supposed to be the calm one so that Geto could relax a little. He had to have been recommended a therapy hybrid for his obvious anxiety.

 

Once Satoru had done his job, once Geto was less anxious, surely he’d fully become like the normal humans who had no qualms about doing whatever they wanted to Satoru. Geto was only treating him so nicely because he was scared. It would pass soon enough.

 

Satoru looked up again as Geto reappeared from the room he’d gone into, this time carrying a stack of folded clothes. Satoru’s breath almost left him as he realized exactly what they were. Hybrid specific clothes that would accommodate his tail, but were near indistinguishable from human ones in every other way.

 

He’d never once dreamed of being awarded such a luxury.

 

“I got things that would at least kind of match each other since I doubt —” Geto cut himself off, but Satoru filled in the rest of his sentence. He was going to let Satoru pick what he wore and had made sure none of the colors would clash so he wouldn’t make a fool out of himself. Satoru did know how to match things, but it wasn’t like Geto could know that.

 

Suguru groaned to himself. “I’m rambling to a hybrid. You can’t even understand me.”

 

Satoru continued to just stare at Geto as if he hadn’t understood a single word. He’d been taught how to play dumb.

 

“Follow me,” Geto eventually said as he led Satoru to a separate door. “This is your room. They said you’d be able to understand that…”

 

Satoru’s curiosity got the better of him. He got his own room?

 

Suguru laughed as Satoru tried to peer over his shoulder to see. He decided he liked that sound. Geto’s laugh wasn’t mean like those of other humans.

 

Geto stepped aside so Satoru could properly see, and Satoru’s blood turned to ice. There was a human bed in his room. Nothing good ever happened on those when it came to him. Satoru couldn’t breathe even though he kept himself perfectly still. Of course there was a price to pay for all the little kindnesses Geto kept giving to him as if nothing. This was why he couldn’t allow himself to hope. He —

 

Geto walked inside the room, seemingly oblivious to the way Satoru had frozen. He placed all the clothes neatly into a dresser save for one set which he placed on the bed. “Only had a guest room available and a regular bed should be okay, right? We’re definitely built pretty similar…”

 

Satoru didn’t dare take those words at face value. He couldn’t afford to when it could all shatter so easily.

 

“Satoru, change into…” Geto trailed off again as he glanced down at Satoru’s hands. He’d be able to manage somehow, right? He could barely do a thing with the mitts on, but he’d figure out a way. He had to.

 

“Gloves would have been a better solution,” Geto muttered as he walked over and took one of Satoru’s hands in his to inspect. “I can probably let you out of these, right? If you start chewing on your nails while I’m around, I should be able to get you to stop.”

 

That wasn’t the reason. It never had been.

 

Geto carefully eased the first mitt off, only to gasp when Satoru’s hand was completely revealed. Satoru flinched. His owner wasn’t happy, but who wouldn’t be disappointed at their pet being broken? Blood still stained his hands and his nails had only half regrown from the last time they’d been ripped off. His claws were too dangerous, they’d said. They wouldn’t have to be ripped off if only he’d been good, but now they couldn’t risk it. Satoru couldn’t remember the last time they hadn’t been stumps.

 

“Oh Satoru…” Geto breathed as he let go of Satoru’s hand and freed the other. Satoru finally glanced at him, but he didn’t find anger. Only something so sad in the human’s expression as if the state of Satoru’s hands pained him. “You’ve been so stressed all this time.”

 

Geto’s gaze flicked down to Satoru’s tail that still wouldn’t behave itself. Satoru wrapped it around his own legs in hopes of at least hiding how the end still twitched, but it was a hopeless endeavor. Geto had already seen.

 

Geto looked up at Satoru, and Satoru couldn’t get himself to look away. He’d never seen a human look at him with concern. “Of course you’re even more stressed now in a new place with a new person. It’s going to be okay, Satoru. I promise it will be.”

 

Geto reached out and ran his hands through Satoru’s hair, the touch gentle once again, as if he was doing it for Satoru’s sake instead of his own. It felt… It felt nice despite how Satoru’s heart hammered in his chest from anxiety. Geto’s touch wasn’t painful or demanding.

 

Geto pulled away and Satoru just barely stopped himself from chasing Geto’s hand. His eyes stung, but that didn’t make sense. He only cried when in pain or panicked. He didn’t even cry as often as most hybrids, one of the few things handlers had liked about him.

 

Something so hopeful bloomed in his heart that it almost hurt. He wanted just one more gentle touch. One more soothing action meant to comfort him even though hybrids didn’t get compassion.

 

When was the last time he’d been touched in a way that wasn’t to better handle him or cause pain? It had been years since he’d been separated from his mom and siblings, the memories of them blurry, but it must have been then. When he’d just been a little cub.

 

“Get changed and come out when you’re done,” Geto said, before he began to walk away, as if to give Satoru privacy even though he was just an animal to him. His body wasn’t his, but Geto’s now. “That gown thing really doesn’t look that comfortable…”

 

Geto closed the door behind him as Satoru stared after him. Geto was right though, and a tiny smile came over Satoru’s face once left alone. The gowns really were unbearably scratchy.

 

Satoru couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled either. His human was strange and was sure to become like the others once he got his bearings and recovered from whatever mental illness he had, but that was okay because Satoru had decided he liked him, even if the kindness would be fleeting. He’d learned to treasure any rare good thing that came his way. Suguru was no exception when it came to that.

 

Just maybe it would be easier to be a good pet with Suguru as his owner.

Notes:

suguru: *being a decent person*
satoru: so this obviously has to be because he's mentally ill with no other reason

anyway, hope this chapter was painful and full of angst. it was a little hard to write, not because of the subject matter, but because i woke up to news that a bill in my country was passed to cut medicaid (aka health insurance you qualify for if you're poor enough) and uh, take a wild guess if i depend on it or not. at least it doesn't fully take effect until 2027 so i have some time, but it's not like i'm going to be magically healthy by that time (i'm chronically ill to the point that it is disabling) so i'm a bit stressed as you can probably imagine

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 3: Sound of Unfamiliarity

Suguru’s mind raced as he stepped out of Satoru’s new room to let the hybrid change in peace. It didn’t make sense for Satoru to be so nervous, especially since he’d always been at that facility. He couldn’t even imagine how bad Satoru’s anxiety had to be for him to tear off his nails instead of just biting them. That wasn’t normal for humans, let alone hybrids.

 

Suguru collapsed on the couch even though the day was far from over. He’d have to see how Satoru would adjust to living with him before he’d schedule a vet visit. That being said, even if there were pills to help with Satoru’s anxiety, they could be a pain to use. Cats hated taking pills, and unlike a regular cat, Satoru could very easily overpower Suguru.

 

Maybe he’d have to crush them up and put them in Satoru’s food.

 

The door to Satoru’s room opened so quietly Suguru barely even heard it, but aside from that, even Satoru’s footsteps were silent. Suguru turned around to face the hybrid, only for Suguru to freeze for a second.

 

Satoru looked human. Far too human with the clothes he was wearing and how he was fidgeting with his hands. If it weren’t for his ears and tail, Suguru would have no way to differentiate him from a human. He’d always thought the differences in their intelligence would somehow show in the eyes, but he’d been wrong. Somehow, if Suguru had no way to know he was a hybrid, he’d have assumed from that look in the hybrid’s eye that he was secretly very, very smart. Suguru took a deep breath as he tried to recenter himself. That handler had been right about the first few days being awkward. He’d just have to adjust as well.

 

“I have some things for you,” Suguru said slowly as he picked up the shopping bag that had been gathering dust by the couch while he’d procrastinated adopting a hybrid. The only reason he’d been able to go out and get some toys for Satoru was because Shoko had dragged him out of the house.

 

The end of Satoru’s tail flicked before the hybrid wrapped it around his legs as if trying to hide his nervousness. Odd. Suguru had thought he’d be excited about gifts just as he’d been curious about his room.

 

Suguru stopped himself from trying to give Satoru an encouraging smile. It worked on humans, but hybrids were different. A smile wasn’t comforting to animals in the slightest with the way they’d reveal teeth. New method, then.

 

He’d never felt more ridiculous, but he slowly blinked at Satoru. He’d heard it was a cat’s version of a smile, and it was the least he could do to hopefully calm Satoru’s frayed nerves. 

 

When he opened his eyes again, he found Satoru staring at him in shock, but his tail had unwound from his legs and wasn’t twitching anymore, so Suguru would count it as a win. He’d probably been trained to know a smile was good, but Suguru would do his best to accommodate Satoru as well.

 

Satoru hesitantly walked to Suguru before he sat himself down on the couch beside him. A few feet of space separated them, but that was more than fine. He didn’t expect Satoru to warm up to him immediately.

 

Hybrid toys weren’t that different from the ones for regular animals save for the fact they were bigger and built to be more durable. And pricier, but Suguru had bought them anyway. Having a pet was a huge responsibility. Satoru was entirely dependent on him down to what he ate and when, where he’d sleep, and what he’d be allowed to do. It was Suguru’s job to adjust his own habits and apartment to help fulfill Satoru’s needs.

 

Suguru placed a fairly regular stuffed animal in the space between them. Shoko had said it would probably be torn up in shreds within a few weeks from play, but that was more than okay. He’d bought a cheap one.

 

Actually, as he thought back, Satoru’s enclosement at the facility had been completely bare save for his bed. Surely such an intelligent animal needed better enrichment to keep them happy and healthy. What had that place been thinking?

 

The next toy Suguru brought out was a ball with holes in it that would rattle whenever moved. Satoru’s ears perked up at the noise as his gaze latched onto the ball. Suguru couldn’t help but smile as he set it down between them. Maybe Satoru was the more playful type.

 

Lastly, Suguru placed a patterned stuffed toy between them, the outside fabric made to be tough with a mesh designed for Satoru to bite and scratch at without fear of it ripping for several months. It almost seemed mocking at this point when Satoru’s nails were barely even stubs, but maybe he’d enjoy gnawing on it. Hybrids were pretty intelligent though, so maybe it could also double as motivation to let his claws grow back.

 

“I’ll bring out the rest later,” Suguru said as he set the bag back down on the floor. They weren’t the type of toys Satoru would be able to handle himself like the wind up moving mouse. “I’ll get more when I figure out what you like, okay? I know you sleep a lot, but things must get pretty boring for you.”

 

Satoru just looked at him with his unnerving blue eyes before his attention went back to the toys between them. Somehow he managed to look a little skeptical of them, but he slowly reached out to bat at the toy ball.

 

The ball rattled as it rolled a few inches, and Satoru’s eyes went wide as his tail swished back and forth. It wasn’t long until Satoru was rolling the ball back and forth, each movement restrained, but a twinkle finally showed in his eyes. Hopefully he’d become comfortable enough to become a menace in the house and get pouncey while dashing around to chase the toy, but it could take awhile.

 

Suguru smiled as he turned his attention away from Satoru and picked up the book he’d been reading. Satoru would slowly get more comfortable around him through exposure, and maybe it would be the same for Suguru as well.

---

 

For a while, Suguru forgot about the passing of time as he read and Satoru stayed beside him, even if he eventually stopped playing with his toy. Only when Satoru’s stomach growled did Suguru look at the time.

 

Suguru winced as he saw how late it was in the evening. He really didn’t have any energy left for making food for himself and then eating it, but at least Satoru’s was easy. He could pull himself together enough for that.

 

Suguru got up and pulled out a can of hybrid specific food from one of the kitchen cupboards. Knowing he was going to get some sort of feline hybrid had made things easier, even if Shoko had rolled her eyes at Suguru buying the slightly more expensive on-brand stuff. It wasn’t like she could talk with the way she spoiled her own cat.

 

It certainly smelled like tuna when Suguru dished it into a bowl. He’d bought several different flavors to see which ones Satoru would like best, but he was really starting to hope it wouldn’t be tuna with the way it smelled.

 

Suguru scanned the directions on the can, and while it wasn’t necessary, it did say the food was better warm, so Suguru popped it into the microwave as he tried not to wrinkle his nose very noticeably. Satoru was very much watching him from where he’d stayed on the couch and Suguru wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if the hybrid had been trained to recognize human expressions. Disgust would not make Satoru feel safe.

 

Suguru beckoned Satoru over as he placed the bowl on the kitchen table along with a spoon and napkin. He wasn’t sure he wanted to watch Satoru eat with the way it would be unnervingly human.

 

“I really hope this smells better to you than it does for me,” Suguru muttered as he took his place across the table and just let himself collapse there with his head laying on top of his arms. He’d have a fifty-fifty chance to either sleep like a rock from how much energy he’d exerted during the day, or have his mind run rampant with anxiety and keep him up until six in the morning. He really, really hoped it would be the former.

 

Satoru hadn’t made a sound yet.

 

Suguru just barely looked up enough to see that Satoru hadn’t touched his food yet. If anything, he almost looked concerned? That couldn’t be right, though. His human face was just messing with Suguru. That was it.

 

Maybe he was just nervous.

 

“You can eat,” Suguru said, but Satoru didn’t move a muscle. Instead, he very pointedly looked at Suguru’s empty place at the table. A social eater then? Some cats like to eat at the same time their owners did, but Suguru shook his head. Not this time. “Too tired.”

 

Suguru closed his eyes again in some attempt at getting a little rest, only to be startled as something bumped into his arms. He looked up not to find Satoru eating his own meal as he’d thought he would, but instead pushing his bowl toward Suguru. He could swear Satoru was offering his own food to Suguru.

 

“Eat,” Suguru repeated as he pushed the bowl over to Satoru again. He’d be fine. It wasn’t like he was a stranger to skipping meals.

 

Satoru hesitated before he seemingly made up his mind to push it towards Suguru again, his message clear as day. Either they both ate or no one would.

 

Suguru sighed as he forced himself to his feet and wracked his brain for the easiest thing he could prepare. For some reason, he had the feeling Satoru wouldn’t be very happy if he just had a protein bar and called it a day like he did far too often.

 

In the end, Suguru simply prepared plain rice in his rice cooker. It wasn’t much, but it seemed to satisfy Satoru just enough to eat his own food. Maybe Suguru’s therapist was right about getting a hybrid. Satoru was already a little too good at therapy despite the hybrid’s own obvious anxiety.

---

 

It felt odd for Suguru to sit out of the living room instead of shutting himself in his own room as usual. If anything, he was starting to feel a little guilty at what he was doing while Satoru was in his same vicinity and had taken to napping while he held his glorified cat stim toy in his mouth. Still, it was something Suguru had to do for his own safety.

 

There were far more settings on the shock collar settings app than he’d ever imagined, but they allowed him to do what he needed. Suguru read over the settings he’d set to make sure one final time that he’d gotten everything correct. If it was midnight to five in the morning and Satoru got within two meters of him, then he’d get the level one shock which would rise the closer he got.

 

A pang of guilt spiked through Suguru’s heart as he confirmed the settings, but there was no telling what Satoru could do to him while Suguru was defenseless and asleep. Whether he liked it or not, Satoru had an extensive enough history of aggression which had plummeted his worth from the sheer magnitude of it. While Suguru legally owned the other, it was Satoru who’d have the upper hand when it came to strength. He couldn’t risk it.

 

“Satoru?” he began. The hybrid’s eyes snapped open and fixated on him. The words Suguru had already been dreading to say dried on his tongue with the way Satoru almost seemed to see right through him, but he was just feeling self conscious. That was all. “Don’t get close to me while I’m sleeping at night. If you do, you’ll get shocked.”

 

Suguru hated the wording, but that was what he was doing, wasn’t it? The limited commands and directions Satoru understood according to the manual didn’t allow Suguru any excuses or round about ways of absolving himself.

 

Satoru just nodded like it was the most unremarkable thing in the universe, and then closed his eyes again to continue napping. Maybe he wasn’t worried since he already had no plans of sneaking up on Suguru.

 

“I hate the idea of a shock collar,” Suguru muttered to himself as he closed the app. Hopefully he’d never have to use it again along with the covered remote control that laid heavy in his pocket. “Think I’d be sick if I used it, but when I said I wanted to die in my sleep, I didn’t mean by a spur of the moment hybrid attack. I wonder if I’d taste good…”

 

Suguru huffed a laugh at his own poorly worded joke, but he could have sworn he’d seen a jolt of movement from Satoru that was gone sooner than it had started. Maybe he was just seeing things. He’d always been a little paranoid.

Notes:

just saying this before there can be much confusion, even though satoru is obviously as intelligent as a human, his hybrid features aren't just for show. he still has several cat instincts/behaviors like needing to sleep more, grooming his tail, enjoying being pet, playfulness, etc. so yes, he did genuinely enjoy the rattle ball toy, but probably in the way we like stim toys and such.

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 4: Cover My Ears, Can't Sleep

Satoru snapped away, breath coming in pants as he gulped down lungfuls of air even as he clawed at his throat, just for the collar to block him. It was just a dream. That’s all it was, even if it was a memory of being shocked over and over again and again. Phantom shocks still zipped through him and —

 

New terror washed over him as Satoru realized where he was. A human bed. He scrambled off of it, the room empty save for him and no memory of his new owner doing anything to him. That didn’t matter, though. There was only one reason he’d be put in one and Geto would walk through the door any moment and take what he’d bought, even if it was illegal. It wasn’t like the facility would care if they did find out.

 

Satoru had to be good for him. He had to be, even if he wouldn’t dare hope that maybe if he obeyed then Geto would be gentler, but because he had to be a good pet. Being a pet was his only future and bad pets would be returned. Geto had only picked him because he was pretty. There could be no other reason for it. Looking cute was good because the cute ones had better chances of being spoiled, but to be pretty, to look attractive in any form…

 

Satoru stumbled into the hallway as his lungs burned no matter how much he gasped for air. He wouldn’t usually dare step out of the room his owner had put him in, even if Geto had said last night he didn’t have to stay in it as he muttered something about cats being nocturnal as he left, but his stomach twisted and pinched. Satoru clapped a hand over his mouth as he ran to the bathroom. He was going to vomit because even now he couldn’t accept his reality or deal with the past.

 

Satoru froze just a few feet away from the bathroom. His pants were wet. He couldn’t clean clothes and just why did that cat behavior decide to show itself now of all times? Tears finally fell and Satoru couldn’t choke back his vomit anymore as he collapsed to the floor.

 

The taste of acidic bile burnt his mouth as he trembled in the hall, a mess of his own making right in front of him. It reeked. He reeked and his clothes were dirty. The ones Geto had so kindly bought him. Humiliation and horror swirled together in his mind as he could only stare at the mess he’d created. Handlers had always mocked his incontinence when stressed, would sneer about how it really showed how much of an animal he really was, and then the punishment would start.

 

Satoru wouldn’t be able to clean things up even though his hands were finally free again. It would be too suspicious if Geto found out and he hadn’t been given permission to. But if he didn’t find a way to get rid of it, if Geto saw what he’d done —

 

A door creaked open.

 

Satoru whipped around just to find the room to Geto’s room opening as his owner stepped out, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Terror froze Satoru’s veins. He’d woken him up on top of everything because he couldn’t stop panicking.

 

“Satoru?” Geto started, his voice thick with exhaustion. “What’s —”

 

Geto stopped mid sentence as he saw the mess Satoru had made. His eyes widened. Satoru couldn’t breathe or move, but only sit there as fear paralyzed him, just as his handlers had made sure of by  making his fight or flight instinct forcibly change. He was going to be sent back. Geto was going to punish him until he was rendered unconscious, and then when he’d wake, it would start again because that’s what happened to bad hybrids.

 

He couldn’t, couldn’t —

 

“Shit,” Geto cursed before he began to walk toward him. “Satoru, are you —”

 

Satoru’s body locked up as white hot electricity rushed through his body. His punishment because he was making Geto use the collar even though he hadn’t wanted to. There was fuzzy yelling close by and it almost sounded panicked, but that couldn’t be right. It had to be angry.

 

Agony wracked through his body as his muscles clenched and spasmed the second level two of shock hit him. He physically couldn’t breathe and even though his eyes had to be wide open, he couldn’t see a thing.

 

Then it stopped and Satoru fully collapsed to the floor as he gasped for air. The electrocution felt as though an eternity, but black spots weren’t dancing in his vision, so it must have only been a few seconds. Satoru’s entire body twitched as left over electricity streaked through him. He was pretty sure he could smell something burnt, but that was to be expected. Round two was surely about to begin because Satoru deserved so much worse for what he’d done.

 

Satoru just tried to relax his body as he closed his eyes, waiting for it all to begin again. Geto would use level three because he had to be comfortable with the collar now that he’d used it. Blinding and burning pain was what Satoru had earned through his own actions.

 

Yet nothing came.

 

Satoru cracked open his eyes and he just wished Geto would start his actual punishment already, but his owner wasn’t standing over him with the remote in hand, but instead plastered against the farthest wall at the end of the hall, his hands shaking and eyes horrified. He seemed to be fumbling with his phone as he whispered curses under his breath.

 

Satoru curled up on himself. Geto was probably just setting up an automated drawn out punishment for Satoru so he’d be able to go back to sleep as Satoru would be taught his lesson he never seemed able to learn. At least… at least Satoru wouldn’t be bothering his owner anymore if he did that. Punishments as extensive as that were good. Punishments meant he was worth enough to be kept. They meant his owner had decided that the energy to keep Satoru in line would be well spent.

 

Footsteps finally sounded and Satoru looked up. It didn’t make sense for Geto to get closer to him.

 

Geto reached forward, his hand hesitating just inches from Satoru’s head as it had earlier that day when he’d first stepped into Satoru’s enclosure at the facility. Geto finally touched his head and only then did Satoru flinch when the short contact sent a snap of electricity between them.

 

Yet Geto didn’t kick him or lurch away to shock Satoru with the collar again for daring to hurt him. Instead, his hand carded through his hair.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Geto whispered, his voice all shaky and almost scared. Nothing made sense. “I forgot. Fuck. Why didn’t I just think for a moment and, and…”

 

Satoru just lay there, keeping himself as pliant as he could be, all while Geto pet him in soothing motions and whispered apologies. Satoru didn’t know what to make of it, but it almost felt nice even if it had to be some prelude for when he’d finally get properly punished. No human had ever apologized to him. Maybe… maybe the punishment was going to be even worse than the ones the facility gave him and that was why Geto was apologizing. Because he was such a kind person and didn’t want to, but also knew he had to be responsible and make sure Satoru wouldn’t do such a thing again.

 

Satoru let himself be helped up, Geto’s hands still so unbelievably gentle as he was led into the bathroom. Breath lodged itself in Satoru’s throat as his mind raced. Surely Geto wasn’t planning on putting him in a bath while using the collar. Maybe it wouldn’t leave any visible burn marks, but it would be so easy to actually kill him. It was also the only explanation that made sense, and Satoru tried his best not to react in the slightest. He wouldn’t be able to do a thing about it and that was what it all boiled down to.

 

Geto sat Satoru down on the toilet lid. “Stay. I’ll be back.”

 

Then Geto was gone and Satoru tried to just take one deep breath after another. It would all begin soon and panic wouldn’t help him. He just had to take it like he always did. He could show Geto that he at least didn’t mean to be bad.

 

Satoru let his mind drift away until he almost seemed to be watching himself. Everything felt blurry and he shouldn’t be letting himself leave. He was supposed to stay present so the punishment could have its full effect, yet he couldn’t seem to just force himself back. He wasn’t brave enough to.

 

Geto walked in, not the remote in hand or his phone opened to the shock collar app, but a new set of clothes in his hands.

 

“Here, put these on. I’m sure you want something clean,” Geto said. His voice was too soft and comforting. It didn’t make sense, but maybe Geto didn’t want to put up with Satoru’s soiled self while punishing him.

 

Geto left and closed the door, seemingly leaving Satoru to it.

 

Satoru shakily reached forward, and the clothes were real. Not some illusion his brain was conjuring. His movements became robotic as he changed, and Geto had been right. It did feel so much nicer to be in clean clothes again. He just didn’t understand why he wasn’t being punished yet. The shock earlier had just been to get him to be pliant and to behave for what was to come. It was too short to be anything else.

 

A knock on the door and then Geto walked in. Even that didn’t make sense. Knocking was a formality humans did for each other to be polite. Hybrids didn’t get to have privacy or a warning unlike them.

 

The scent of artificial lemon wafted through the door without the sting of vomit in the air. Geto had already cleaned it all. That had to be why he was waiting then. He hadn’t wanted the floor to stain, so he’d just acted in order of what was time sensitive and what wasn’t. His owner was logical and practical, then. No matter what would come next, Geto was better than the handlers who just enjoyed seeing him in pain and would make him slip up just as an excuse to punish him.

 

“I’m so, so sorry, Satoru,” Geto started again as he helped Satoru up. Satoru could understand what Geto was saying, but Geto didn’t know, so it was something he was saying to soothe himself. Satoru’s punishment was going to be horrible, wasn’t it? “It was a mistake, but… I just wish you could understand me. I’m so sorry, Satoru.”

 

He could. Satoru could understand him. Every single word that came out of his mouth.

 

Satoru froze as he was led to his bedroom. His stomach churned and surely Geto wouldn’t punish him like that on the bed, but what else could it be save for a constant warning to Satoru of what Geto would do? He’d said something about it being a guest room, as if Satoru could ever fully believe a human bed would be wasted on him instead of stored for safekeeping. It couldn’t be anything but a threat.

 

“Oh,” Geto breathed as he looked at Satoru. His heart hammered and Geto had noticed. He’d noticed how Satoru was resisting his punishment. Good pets didn’t do that. Geto fully turned to him and Satoru fought down a flinch. “You can go anywhere in the house except my bedroom.”

 

Geto enunciated every word in an even voice the way he’d taken to doing whenever he wanted Satoru to ‘understand’ him. The gesture was kind, sweet even, despite it showing Satoru just how much Geto underestimated him and really saw him as a dumb animal.

 

Then Geto was walking away, not back to his own room, and Satoru could only watch him leave. Nothing felt right as if a rug had been swept out from under Satoru. He hadn’t been punished yet.

 

Or had those few seconds been his punishment? Geto was obviously inexperienced with hybrids and while the facility would have punished Satoru until his tail was singed and his muscles so weak from the spasming that he’d barely be able to move for days, it wasn’t like Geto knew that.

 

Geto had even looked so unbearably guilty. Had that all been over Satoru’s laughably small ‘punishment’, if he could even call it that? When paired with his apologies, with the clean clothes he’d had Satoru change into, and his gentle touches, it had to be.

 

His new owner who’d decided to spoil Satoru after such a small shock, who’d still tried to be responsible and punish Satoru even though it made him feel guilty, who’d even made him food despite not wanting to sleep himself… Geto had to be the kindest human who’d ever lived. He’d even talked about how he hoped Satoru’s food was good for him, even though it was the same sludge that did not taste as advertised. He’d bought him toys and even freed Satoru from his mitts.

 

Satoru dared to follow Geto to the living room where he’d disappeared to. Satoru would gladly take the punishment for what he’d done, even though he deserved a terrible one for being such a bad pet to someone so unbelievably kind and forgiving.

 

Satoru peaked out only to find Geto curled up on the couch, his face hidden behind his knees, and his shoulders shaking as though crying. A jolt went through Satoru. One he hadn’t felt for so long, both anger and the compassion that caused it trained out of him.

 

It wasn’t even training that kicked in as Satoru approached and curled up on the couch next to Geto. His heart hammered in his chest. He could so easily be messing up by taking the initiative, but he couldn’t just watch his owner suffer and do nothing about it.

 

Satoru butted his head against one of Geto’s arms in a silent ask for pets. They’d said it helped calm humans down and could soothe them to run their hands through his hair. Geto finally looked at him, his teary eyes blown wide in shock, but he wasn’t crying anymore at least.

 

Geto slowly reached for him and Satoru met him halfway to encourage him. He was supposed to take as much comfort as he could from Satoru. Satoru waited for Geto to pet him a few times until he nuzzled into the human and forced a rumbling purr. He couldn’t remember ever doing one naturally, but he did still know how to do it. Geto deserved every scrap of what Satoru could give him. He’d offer up his tail for Geto to bite like Satoru did when things got too overwhelming for him and he had the luxury to soothe himself in such a way, but humans weren’t like that. It wouldn’t help Geto.

 

Geto began to cry again, but this time, he almost seemed to collapse into Satoru. It was crying to release everything, then. A good type of a healthy cry. Satoru was finally doing his job, and for once, it didn’t fill him with nausea.

 

“How can you not hate me?” Geto whispered, his voice breaking on every word even as he continued to pet Satoru.

 

Satoru tried not to frown. His owner had to have low esteem. Or he was going through some nonsensical episode, because how could Satoru not love him? He’d already shown Satoru more mercy and kindness in one day than Satoru had received in several years combined. Either way, he wouldn’t fail Geto again. His owner deserved more than perfection from Satoru.

Notes:

i feel like i had something to say in the notes, but i forgot. anyway, in case it isn't clear and so there isn't confusion until next chapter, suguru forgot to turn off the shock collar setting for satoru approaching him at night. or in this case, suguru approaching him. it's not like satoru knows that, though

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 5: My Throat Becomes Sore

Suguru blinked awake, his back sore from how he must have passed out on the couch. He looked to his side to find Satoru curled up beside him, his body encircled by his long, fluffy tail. He hadn’t entirely covered his face though, but even in sleep his brows furrowed as he frowned. Nightmare, then.

 

Suguru reached out to pet his head in hopes of soothing Satoru without waking him up, before he froze. There was a reason Suguru was on the couch and not in his room as usual.

 

He didn’t deserve to keep Satoru, much less for Satoru to approach him the night before and try to comfort him after everything. Yet what could he do? Even the thought of returning the hybrid almost made him nauseous.

 

Suguru took a deep breath. Satoru had already clearly forgiven him. Maybe Suguru had managed to convey that it was an accident to Satoru last night in the same way baby animals did if one of them went too far in play fighting. He’d tried to do everything he could to comfort Satoru, so maybe it had gotten through to him.

 

Either way, sulking in guilt wasn’t an option. Not when he could do something to help Satoru.

 

Suguru reached forward, his touch feather light as he smoothed Satoru’s hair. Satoru snapped awake, his blue eyes wide and his body tensing immediately as his gaze darted around the room.

 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Suguru tried to soothe, even if the words wouldn’t mean anything to Satoru. He continued to pet his hair in relaxing circles. “Just a nightmare. You’re okay. Go back to sleep since I kept you up last night. You need it.”

 

Satoru blinked as he looked at Suguru, almost as if he was trying to see if Suguru really meant what he’d said. Apparently satisfied with what he’d seen, Satoru closed his eyes again to sleep.

 

As Suguru continued to pet Satoru, his mind whirled. Satoru had been described by that handler as anxious, but there was something more. Anxious was biting nails or jumping at loud sounds before relaxing again. Anxious would have Satoru largely avoiding Suguru while watching him intently to size him up. If anything, Satoru was reminding him far too much of abused animals. And humans. He tried to push that last part of the thought away. It was just Satoru’s resemblance throwing him off. That was all.

 

Even in his panic, he hadn’t missed how after being shocked, Satoru had seemingly resigned himself to whatever the hybrid believed Suguru would do next. It wasn’t like he could know about how the collar was set up for distance at certain times when Suguru had just told him it was when he’d be sleeping. He just hadn’t thought it would ever be a problem. But instead, he’d forgotten all about the shock collar in his concern, accidentally shocked him, but panicked even further and tried to get even closer to Satoru like an idiot to stop it before he realized the reason why his collar was going off.

 

Just that was bad enough. He’d expected Satoru to run after that, to hide himself away from Suguru, yet none of that had happened. The hybrid had only looked so unbearably sad as he lay there in submission, waiting for even more pain. Something had clearly happened to him. Something that must have happened at the facility since Satoru had never left it.

 

Suguru waited for Satoru to be fully asleep before he got up and grabbed Satoru’s records. He only glanced over the medical summary. Nothing seemed out of place there, Satoru’s weight healthy, his eyesight above average, and his only medical procedure being of that when he’d been ‘fixed’.

 

Then his training records. Suguru’s eyebrows raised as he skimmed a summary about Satoru attacking past handlers since he’d been a cub. It didn’t match at all to the hybrid who’d comforted Suguru last night and had insisted on him eating.

 

Suguru paused as he read a summary of Satoru’s behavior after being taken home by a handler for 24/7 training. It claimed he’d mellowed out greatly after only a few weeks.

 

He’d found it.

 

There were only mentions of other times Satoru had been taken home by handlers, but each time boasted some sort of ‘success’ that only made Suguru’s stomach churn. No one, not even an animal, could healthily have their behavior turned around after only a few weeks.

 

Something must have happened during those sessions with a despicable handler doing whatever they wanted to with Satoru without supervision, and then being praised for the results. No matter how violent Satoru had been, the answer hadn’t been whatever they’d done to him.

 

Yet there was nothing Suguru could do. He wouldn’t be surprised if the place had turned a blind eye to Satoru’s obvious symptoms due to their convenience. In the end, there was nothing Suguru could do that would uncover the exact truth or have the handler brought to justice. All he could do was keep Satoru away from his past abuser. It could have been anyone there. Even the seemingly easy going man who’d led Suguru around the place. Returning Satoru, even out of guilt for what he’d done, wasn’t an option anymore. It would be nothing more than selfish self pity.

 

If Suguru was right about everything, then his next concern could be more serious than he’d initially thought. He hadn’t missed the way Satoru had frozen for a second when first seeing his new room. Suguru had brushed it off. It was his first time seeing where he’d be living, and cats generally hated change. Once was to be expected, but twice? Twice was suspicious.

 

It had to be because of something in the room. Suguru could try to replace one thing at a time until he found what it was that had Satoru nervous. He hoped to everything good in the world that it was just some weird cat quirk Satoru was trying to repress. Shoko couldn’t have shiny balloons in her house anymore since her cat would freak out if they saw one. Hopefully it was something similar for Satoru.

 

It was a plan, then. Suguru would start with the dresser and try to replace it by putting Satoru’s clothes in baskets instead. It shouldn’t take long. It wasn’t like there was much in Satoru’s room.

---

 

Satoru had once again insisted on making Suguru eat. He wasn’t sure of the last time he hadn’t skipped meals for so long, but he had the feeling that if he told Shoko, she’d tell him it was medically concerning. It felt strange to not have hunger buzzing in the back of his mind, but it was good.

 

Suguru glanced at Satoru, the hybrid once again napping after lunch, and Suguru ran his fingers through Satoru’s hair. It was getting a little greasy. He’d rather not wake Satoru, even if it was a cat nap so Satoru could get his good eighteen hours of sleep in for the day. Still, it wasn’t like Satoru could do it himself without pain. It would be weeks until Satoru’s nails would fully grow back.

 

Suguru got up and began to draw a bath for the hybrid. Once Satoru healed he’d be able to do it himself, but until then, Suguru would take care of him. He threw a largely scentless bath bomb into the water so bubbles would cover everything. He’d thank Shoko for the gag gift later.

 

“Satoru!” Suguru called. The grease had to be driving the hybrid insane even if he was hiding it. He’d seen how meticulously Satoru would groom his own tail. Even his tongue was rough like a regular cats' one, even if he sometimes choked a little on stray hairs before he'd spit them out as if they'd personally offended him.

 

Satoru peaked his head into the room before he went rigid as his eyes locked onto the bath. Was it another trigger as well? He’d checked to make sure that even feline hybrids would be fine with baths, just for the answers from owners to flood in about how theirs often loved bathing or showering.

 

“Your hair’s getting greasy,” Suguru explained. Satoru couldn’t understand, but he kept his tone calm and steady. That should be enough to show Satoru he didn’t mean him any harm. “You’ll like it when you get in. Undress and get into the bath, okay?”

 

Suguru turned as Satoru did just that. As much as he logically knew hybrids cared about nudity as little as any other animal, he had no desire to see everything. Especially with the way it would be entirely too human. It almost felt wrong.

 

Suguru only turned back after he heard a few splashes of Satoru getting into the water. Bubbles filled the tub and went up to Satoru’s chest as they hid everything. Whatever Satoru had been initially worried about must have vanished as he carefully poked at a bubble, then watched it pop with wide eyes as if he’d never seen one before.

 

Suguru couldn’t help but laugh as he got closer to the tub and knelt beside it.

 

“Wash now, play later,” he told Satoru as he began to reach for the scentless shampoo he’d purchased before he stopped. The collar was still around Satoru’s neck because of course it would be. It wasn’t like Satoru could take it off.

 

Suguru reached forward and Satoru bowed his head to give Suguru better access to his collar. Wearing something with electrical wiring while taking a bath? Yeah, even Suguru wasn’t feeling that suicidal. It was a step up from a toaster, sure, but that didn’t mean it would be wise to play with danger.

 

The collar unclasped and Satoru drew in a tiny gasp from being freed from it, but Suguru froze. Fresh, angry red burn marks created branching circles from where the metal prongs had met Satoru’s skin on the inside of the collar.

 

Suguru almost dropped the collar into the bath water, his hands numb as he stared at Satoru in horror.

 

They’d claimed it would just be a minor shock to Satoru. That hybrids were tougher than humans, but as Suguru stared at the burns, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Satoru had been twitching from the shock’s aftermath and now burn marks marred his neck.

 

Suguru would have never known if he hadn’t taken the collar off. Just how had Satoru been functioning after that much pain? The burn had to be endlessly chafing against the collar as well, but the hybrid hadn’t even hinted at a twinge of discomfort and —

 

Suguru snapped back to reality as Satoru stared at him as if nothing was going on. He was used to it, then. Used to being hurt over and over again. Used to being fucking tortured for mistakes with the way Satoru had been having a panic attack even before Suguru had accidentally shocked him.

 

“I’m so, so sorry,” Suguru whispered as he lightly touched the marks. “Fuck. I didn’t even know, but…”

 

Satoru butted his head against Suguru’s arm just as he had the night before as if he wanted pets. Or as if he could understand Suguru, but it was just Satoru’s training as a therapy pet to calm him, even if he didn’t know what for.

 

Suguru didn’t deserve the comfort, but he scratched behind Satoru’s ears in a way that had Satoru perk up and lean into his touch. He looked happy, as if Suguru had never hurt him or as if he hadn’t been having nightmares earlier that day.

 

Satoru shouldn’t trust him, not with what had happened yesterday, let alone the hybrid’s past that Suguru could only guess at. Yet Satoru’s eyes were closed as he eagerly leaned into Suguru’s touch.

 

Satoru’s trust wasn’t what Suguru deserved, but it was what he’d already been given nonetheless.

 

Suguru took a deep breath to pull himself together and finally began to wash Satoru’s hair. He’d already watched videos on how to do it properly since feline hybrids could be very particular about how their hair was handled, and Satoru melted into Suguru’s hands as a happy purr filled the room.

 

A smile came over Suguru despite the guilt that still gnawed at him. There was no denying how downright adorable Satoru was, a little smile on his lips, eyes closed in bliss, and his tail wrapped around himself as bubbles surrounded him.

 

With Satoru’s hair thoroughly washed, Suguru got to his feet. He imagined Satoru would rather do the rest himself, even if the hybrid had turned to pouting a little since his scalp wasn’t being massaged anymore.

 

“You can finish washing yourself,” Suguru said as he stepped back. “You’re allowed to play, too.”

 

Satoru’s ears perked up, ‘play’ a word he definitely seemed to like, and he poked at another bubble. Suguru closed the door behind him on his way out and immediately opened his phone.

 

In the end, it only took a few swipes to fully disable the shock feature of Satoru’s collar, even if that did include ignoring at least five different pop up warnings about the potential danger of such a thing. He honestly didn’t give a fuck anymore if Satoru decided to go back to his old ways and attacked him. He wasn’t going to put Satoru through that pain again. Ever.

 

Suguru had never been so happy to delete an app in his life. His decision could be labeled as suicidal, but that was the whole reason he’d been recommended a hybrid. Maybe being mentally ill really had its perks.

 

Satoru walked out several minutes later with his hair still dripping and collar in hand as he handed it to Suguru in offering. Satoru had to know that thing was what had given Suguru the ability to shock him. If anything, he should have hidden it, yet Satoru stood in front of him, the collar in his outstretched hands for Suguru to take.

 

“I’m going to blow dry your hair first,” Suguru settled on as he took the collar and motioned Satoru to follow him. There was no way he’d know what Suguru meant, but he wasn’t about to put such a thing on while water would drip over it. A malfunction could be deadly and he’d also prefer to keep the tracking device embedded in it in prime condition.

 

Satoru looked on with wide eyes as Suguru powered the hair dryer up, first blowing it on his own hair to show Satoru what to expect, and then turning it to Satoru. The hybrid’s ears perked up and his tail twitched as if he was making up his mind on whether he loved or hated it, before he leaned closer with a content smile on his face.

 

By the end, he offered Suguru his tail to dry as well, which Suguru very carefully positioned the hair dryer around so it wouldn’t fluff up or displace the fur. He looked up once he finished to find the hybrid grinning before he carefully inspected his tail to find it all dry once again.

 

Satoru held perfectly still as Suguru dressed his burns in bandages so it wouldn’t chafe against his collar, and eventually fastened the thing around his neck. Satoru’s eyes went wide as he shakily touched the tips of his fingers to the side of his neck where the burns were, the exposed metal for electric shocks entirely blocked from the bandages.

 

He understood, then. Suguru wouldn’t be able to shock him even if he wanted to. It could be their first step in building trust between the two of them, even if it was dangerous for Suguru. That being said, he couldn’t even imagine the current Satoru attacking him.

 

Suguru’s heart dropped into his stomach as Satoru twisted the collar around with a frown to place the metal over his skin once again, before he turned to Suguru as if asking for approval. As if he was wondering if he’d passed some sort of sick test.

 

Suguru was going to kill whichever handler had hurt Satoru to such an extent.

 

Instead, Suguru just shook his head and repositioned the collar to where it had been. He’d show Satoru that he was safe with him from here on out. He’d never be hurt or abused ever again, but only time would prove that to the hybrid.

Notes:

just imagine satoru popping big bubbles in the bath and trying to make bubble foam towers since he's never seen something like that before in his life. suguru WILL help him discover all the childhood experiences he should have had

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 6: I Try to Wrap It

Satoru couldn’t breathe even as he sucked in lungful after lungful of air into himself. He’d already made a mess again in the hallway. He didn’t even care about the punishment that was sure to come as he scrambled to make sure the collar’s metal prongs were touching his actual skin again. He deserved to be shocked until his tail’s fur became burnt and singed. He’d take it and then things would finally be okay again, but he’d let down Geto again. He’d had another memory dream and then freaked out when he’d woken up in that human bed. He just wanted to be good for Geto and he couldn’t even manage to do that.

 

His tail twitched, and Satoru almost bit it in an attempt to soothe himself even by a little, but stopped right before he could sink his teeth into fur. He didn’t deserve that comfort. He’d earned every bit of panic that zipped through his nerves and blood.

 

Yet there was one other thing he could do and surely that would be okay. Spikes of pain shot through his hand as he bit down on it and his injured fingers. It didn’t hurt nearly enough, not unless he broke the skin and bled, but he couldn’t damage Geto’s property. Leaving marks on his owner’s things would make him an even worse pet than he already was.

 

As if on cue, Geto stumbled out of his room, all groggy and blurry eyed. Satoru must have woken him from his mad dash to the bathroom in hope of reaching it on time.

 

He couldn’t breathe. Geto hated him. Satoru had made a mess and woken him up once again. Geto would hate him and the coming punishment wouldn’t even be able to come close to appeasing him, so Satoru could only hope it would be a horrible one so Geto’s anger would drain from seeing Satoru in pain even if he had earlier tried to block his shock collar.

 

Satoru shakily bowed his head. He wouldn’t resist it. He was good at being punished and taking pain.

 

Satoru’s heart only hammered faster as Geto approached him. Why wasn’t it starting yet? He’d never resist it even if he couldn’t be good when it came to the little things that every other hybrid could do.

 

“Satoru, stop chewing on your fingers. You’ll hurt them again,” Geto said as he crouched down in front of Satoru.

 

Satoru froze. He’d never actually damage his owner’s property. Never. He’d only been gnawing on them a little.

 

Geto reached out and eased Satoru’s hand out of his own mouth. Maybe… maybe he didn’t want Satoru to bite them off when shocked? His muscles would always lock up from the electricity, so it made sense.

 

Yet instead of his punishment finally beginning, Geto only helped Satoru up again and led him to the bathroom just like the last time. He brought him a new set of clothes and the toy that felt so good to bite.

 

Geto still didn’t look mad, even though Satoru didn’t dare even glance up at his face. Nothing about his body language mirrored that of one of the handlers when angry or preparing to punish Satoru.

 

“Bite,” Geto commanded as he brought the toy to Satoru’s mouth. He did as asked and his teeth sank into it. Something seemed to settle inside him, some instinct that couldn’t realize why his heart was hammering or what sort of trouble he’d gotten himself in because it was part of his stupid cat biology. “I don’t want you hurting yourself, so bite that instead of your fingers, Satoru. Come out when you’ve changed?”

 

Geto said his order as if a question before he walked away and closed the door behind him, leaving Satoru a shaking mess. Geto wasn’t making sense once again, but Satoru followed his command. Even if he didn’t understand, he couldn’t disobey. He was Geto’s to do with as he wanted, even if he didn’t see what the human did.

 

Satoru crept out of the bathroom. The hall had already been cleaned again, and Geto sat on the couch, but he wasn’t crying. That… that was good, right? Even if that meant Satoru would be properly punished this time, at least Geto wasn’t having some sort of episode.

 

Satoru couldn’t breathe as he approached his owner. If he could, he’d open his mouth and apologize over and over to Geto. He’d promise to take whatever punishment the human deemed fit for him and to not hold back. He’d beg to have his pain start to make up for what he’d done, yet he couldn’t. He wasn’t allowed because hybrids weren’t supposed to speak. If a hybrid spoke and let a normal human know it was possible for them to do so…

 

It had never happened, so Satoru had never been shown the consequences, but it would make being returned look like a level one shock. He’d surely be dead by the end of it and happy to be that way.

 

Geto looked up and smiled when Satoru finally sat beside him. Things still weren’t making any sense.

 

“Hands?” Geto asked.

 

Oh. There it was. Satoru shakily extended his hands for Geto to inspect and hold. Yet the human’s touch hadn’t become painful yet as his fingers skimmed over Satoru as if to fully inspect the already fading indents Satoru had left on his skin. It wouldn’t be long until that gentle hold would become punishing. Before Geto would break one finger after another in crunches and lances of pain. It had happened before. Satoru knew now not to use his hands too much. They could be taken away if he tried to be too human.

 

“I’m glad there’s no cuts,” Geto simply said as he let go of Satoru’s hands.

 

Satoru let his hands fall down, but they wouldn’t stop shaking. He could still move them and they didn’t hurt, so he hadn’t just blanked out what should have come. Geto had punished him last time even though he’d seemed so torn up about it after, so why hadn’t it happened yet?

 

Geto reached out, and Satoru tried not to visibly stiffen. Instead, he forced himself to lean into Geto’s touch as the human began to run his fingers through his hair. They’d start to pull soon. They had to.

 

“Satoru, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise,” Geto continued, his words more nonsensical than the last. “Never again.”

 

His owner had to be confused. Or at least misguided. Punishment wasn’t hurting Satoru, even if it did cause pain. It was just teaching him a lesson because hybrids like him could only get it through their heads that way. That’s all punishments were. Hurting him would be if Geto decided to shock Satoru for his own amusement, but even that was within his rights. Satoru was his property.

 

Suguru’s voice trembled as he continued to ever so gently pet Satoru. “I’m never using that collar again. Ever. You’ll never be shocked again.”

 

Satoru froze. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Punishments meant he was worth keeping, that there was potential in him despite his flaws. Punishments were good and surely this couldn’t mean he’d be returned. He should have never even been bought, not when Geto had thought Satoru would attack and kill him while he slept. He’d never do such a thing because he was trying to be good now, but he deserved to be shocked over and over again until he could only twitch on the floor for being horrible enough that Geto would even think of such a possibility. He’d let Geto break his legs and pull out his teeth so he wouldn’t even be capable of such a thing.

 

“Satoru? Satoru, it’s all okay. It’s okay,” Geto soothed even though nothing was at all. Satoru needed to be punished. “I don’t know what happened to you in the past, but you’ll never be hurt again with me. I promise. Never.”

 

He didn’t understand what Geto was saying. He grew up like every other hybrid, and if he hadn’t been so bad and aggressive, then he wouldn’t have been punished so much. It was his own fault.

 

Geto stood and left for a moment, and Satoru could only watch as the human bustled around in the kitchen. Maybe he was warming the water to throw on Satoru? It didn’t match with what he’d said, but Satoru would be thankful for it. He just wanted to be kept.

 

Geto instead returned to the couch with two cups of tea, one of which he handed to Satoru. The ceramic radiated heat, but just enough to be comfortable and nice. Satoru stared down at it.

 

“Drink,” Geto commanded, as if the human beverage could possibly be meant for him. “I heard your taste buds are similar to ours save for raw meat. It’s always helped me calm down, so…”

 

It didn’t sound like Geto had laced it with anything, but that was the only other option left. Satoru raised the mug to his lips and took a tentative sip. His owner didn’t need to hide anything in food or fancy drinks. He’d take it if told to and it would be simple as that.

 

Satoru’s eyes went wide as the tea washed into his mouth. He swallowed and stared down at the liquid that looked so unassuming. He’d never tasted anything so good. Was it even possible for anything to be so delightful? He’d only ever been allowed canned food and water, but he did remember being fussy over it when taken off of milk. They’d had to shock him every meal until he’d choke it down, but he’d gotten used to it, so it couldn’t be that bad. But this? Even if it was laced with something that would send fire through his veins or disorient him until he collapsed, he’d drink it regardless.

 

Geto just smiled at his reaction. “So you do like it. That’s good.”

 

It was… good? It shouldn’t matter if Satoru liked something or not.

 

“Wake me up if you throw up again,” Geto continued, his words clear as he always made them when talking to Satoru instead of himself. Satoru continued to listen even as his owner rambled to himself again. “You really shouldn’t have to panic while waiting for me, but it’s not like you can clean it yourself… Wish you could, but it’s not like I get good sleep anyway…”

 

Satoru took another sip of the wonderful drink as the information whirled in his mind. Geto may as well have told him to clean it up himself. He would have if he thought Satoru capable of it, so Satoru would just try to be quiet so Geto wouldn’t have to wake up or do extra work because of his pet. Maybe Satoru could finally exceed his expectations.

 

Geto didn’t make a move to go back to bed, so Satoru curled up on the couch with his head beside Geto’s lap once he’d finished the tea. His owner didn’t have to be alone anymore so long as he let Satoru stay beside him.

 

As Geto began to pet Satoru’s hair, he once again began to talk to himself. “I know there’s something in your room that scares you.”

 

Satoru tried not to tense underneath Geto’s touch. The human was far too observant even though Satoru’s feelings didn’t matter. He could barely even fall asleep on the human bed, and when he’d wake, the nightmares would feel as if they were the present instead of memories. It was getting harder to picture Geto taking pleasure from him like that, but there was a reason Satoru had to sleep on that bed. Geto had chosen him because he was pretty, even if his owner had been nothing but inhumanly kind to him so far.

 

“I’ll find whatever it is,” Geto continued. Maybe that was why Satoru kept finding things being replaced whenever Geto put him into the room for the night. “I’ll find whatever it is and take care of it. I want you to be happy, Satoru.”

 

His feelings didn’t matter and they never had, but that was okay. Geto would never rescind the threat he made sure to remind Satoru of every night. Not when Satoru couldn’t even sleep right and kept disobeying him because of it. Happiness just wasn’t a possibility for hybrids and it was as simple as that. His owner shouldn’t worry himself about it.

---

 

Satoru blinked awake the next morning still on the couch. Light streamed in from the windows, so it had to be late morning. He would have woken if Geto had made breakfast. Or maybe he hadn’t since Satoru hadn’t insisted on it, being asleep and all.

 

Geto sat beside him, his hands a blur but face relaxed as he knit something. They seemed to be gloves, which were an odd thing to make with the way it had been warm for those few seconds Satoru had been outside, but humans could be strange like that.

 

A jerk of motion caught Satoru’s eye and his gaze locked onto the ball of yarn that moved back and forth on the floor as Geto worked. Yarn crossed over itself in ways that would be perfect for Satoru to sink his teeth into and with the way it kept moving as if twitching…

 

A laugh broke Satoru out of his trance, and Geto picked the ball of yarn up. “This isn’t a toy, Saoru. I promise I’ll get you more soon.”

 

Shame washed over Satoru as he realized his tail had been twitching back and forth. He’d been going insane in that empty room back at the facility, but each of the cat toys that were so appealing to him only showed everyone how dumb and inhuman he really was on the inside. He could still hear the mocking laughs of handers as they’d forced him to play for their entertainment since he always looked so ridiculous doing so. Geto would surely feel and laugh the same if Satoru surrendered himself to those instincts and had fun with the toy Geto had gotten him or if he’d pounced on the ball of yarn.

 

Satoru was so, so stupid to like those things.

 

“Satoru, give me your hand?” Geto asked.

 

Satoru did as ordered and let Geto compare what he was knitting to it. The gloves seemed to be near the exact same size as his hand, and his owner nodded to himself as if pleased before he slipped a nearly finished glove onto Satoru’s hand. It fit perfectly as if made for him.

 

Geto slipped it off just as quickly as he’d put it on, and went back to what had to be the finishing few steps to completing it. “These should at least guard your nails at night… Those mitts were barbaric.”

 

Satoru’s owner was so strange. It didn’t matter if Satoru hated the mitts or not. Only that they kept him from using his hands or getting into trouble. Gloves wouldn’t do the same, but Geto still seemed to be under the impression they’d really been put on him to keep him from nail biting. It wasn’t like last night had exactly proved him wrong.

 

Surely there was something more Satoru could do for Geto, though. He was too kind to be human and had deemed to direct it all at Satoru who only knew how to take pain well and pretend at being a dumb cat. All he did was make more work for Geto. And in return for what? To pressure the human into eating? Being something nice to pet? He was a therapy hybrid, so maybe Geto would be one of those humans who had mood swings and all his kindness would vanish. Maybe he’d decide in them that Satoru had escaped all his earlier due punishments and shock him over and over again.

 

Satoru could do that, though. He may as well have been trained to take pain because of how much he’d misbehaved. When the inevitable mood swing would hit Geto, he’d find a way to offer himself up as a way to appease him. A normal cat wouldn’t be able to do that in the way Satoru could.

 

Flashes of the bed in his room invaded his mind, and Satoru tried to shut them out. It was better not to think of the inevitable. Every threat would eventually be acted on even if Satoru managed to be perfect. So long as he shut his brain down when it happened then he wouldn’t remember much. The inevitable happened once a year because of what they’d done to him, but…

 

The sound of a doorbell snapped Satoru out of his spiraling thoughts. As if expected, Geto got up and walked toward the door as if nothing was the matter, and maybe to him, everything was fine.

 

It would be so easy for Satoru to make a mad dash to anywhere in the apartment and hide, but he didn’t dare move. He had to be good and pretend he didn’t care. He just had to act as if he were a dumb cat, so he closed his eyes, and pretended to nap. Geto was kind, but other humans never were.

Notes:

so sorry about the delay. my wifi had a stroke last night so i wasn't able to upload. i tried to use my phone and its data (and it's so bricked it cannot act as a hotspot. it can barely even open discord with the state it's in), but after a good 15 minutes of trying to copy and paste what i'd written into a doc onto here since it was glitching and freezing, it then had so many problems trying to upload that i got an error screen T-T it is cooked beyond belief (i really need to get a new one) (i swear it's going to explode one of these days)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 7: But I Don't Have a Voice

“You better thank me for coming on my day off,” Shoko grumbled as she stepped right in and toed off her shoes. Suguru just rolled his eyes at her comment. She’d been the one to invite herself over specifically to meet Satoru. If anything, she’d almost seemed impatient to meet Suguru’s new pet, but it made sense. Shoko had always been a cat person.

 

“I’m so honored,” Suguru drawled. Honestly, Shoko herself acted like a cat more than anything with how prickly she could be all while actually caring in her own way. “Satoru’s on the couch.”

 

Suguru glanced over before following Shoko who’d breezed right past him to find Satoru seemingly attempting to pretend to nap. His tail gave him all away though as it flicked nervously back and forth in a way the hybrid probably wasn’t aware of. If it weren’t for that, Suguru would have bought the act.

 

Even if Satoru’s anxious walls had been lowering little by little every day, Suguru couldn’t blame him for raising them again. He probably had good reason to be scared of a new, strange human. Even if Suguru could only try to decipher the hybrid’s responses, Satoru had been through far too much. He wouldn’t blame him if Satoru never trusted humans again.

 

“He naps a lot,” Suguru said as an explanation.

 

Shoko raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Satoru’s tail, but since Suguru hadn’t called Satoru out himself, she didn’t say anything either. She reached out to lightly pet Satoru’s head. “You mean a healthy amount for a cat.”

 

Suguru hummed in agreement as he made his way to the kitchen to begin making tea for the both of them. Shoko would probably want a caffeinated one with the way she seemed to live off caffeine. Honestly, it was only a matter of time until her heart would give out on her, but as she said, that was a later her problem.

 

“Huh. You really were right,” Shoko said as she joined him and wiped the hand she’d used to pet Satoru on her pants. “He really does look exceedingly human. I’d thought at least his hair would feel like fur.”

 

Suguru shrugged. As far as petting went, at least he’d gotten used to that already. “I really wouldn’t know he wasn’t if it weren’t for the ears and tail. And also his cat quirks. He’s still pretty anxious, but I think he’s playful. I’ll have to get him some more toys.”

 

“Is it weird to see him play?” Shoko asked as she glanced at Satoru's direction once again. Suguru poured the heated water into two mugs.

 

“I’m not sure yet,” he answered. He placed tea bags into each cup and handed Shoko hers. “So far, he’s tried to show restraint even with toys so he’s mainly just batted things around while looking like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin from holding back. He did almost pounce on my yarn today. You should have seen how his tail flicked back and forth. It was adorable.”

 

“He’s restraining himself? Is it a vanity thing or…?” Shoko asked as they made their way over to the couch again. He knew what she meant. Her cat, Lady Scratchalot as Shoko had lovingly named her, would regularly prance away and ignore them if they caught her playing. It wasn’t too uncommon for her to also groom herself for a good thirty minutes after as if she was trying to wash away her undignified actions.

 

Suguru went silent as he settled next to Satoru. If only it was such a thing. He had no doubt Satoru would develop some cat sense of vanity as time went on and he recovered, but for now, that wasn’t the case.

 

“Shoko…” Suguru started. The air shifted into something heavy and serious even if Shoko gave no outward sign of it. Suguru tapped the pads of his fingers against the cup he held as he prepared to finally say the words out loud. “I think… Who am I kidding? Satoru’s definitely been abused in the past.”

 

Shoko glanced at Satoru as if trying to pick it all apart herself. “Why do you say that?”

 

“I thought it was just cat anxiety at first, which Satoru definitely has. His nails look like they’re torn off with how much he bites them. I’ve been working on knitting him gloves to help and I’ll be getting him more chewing toys, but that’s not even the reason why,” Suguru started. He’d never heard of a cat or hybrid self harming to deal with stress or abuse, but at the same time, he understood it all far too well. He began to pet Satoru’s head to both help sooth himself, but also because the hybrid deserved so much better than the life he’d been put through. “He’s terrified of something in his room I’m still trying to find, he tenses at the most random of things even if he doesn’t think I notice, but it’s really…”

 

Suguru took a deep breath. He hadn’t told Shoko yet. Not when shame still ate him alive from that time. “It was night and he threw up in the hall. He was crying and shaking as though terrified and I’d thought something horrible had happened, so I tried to run over, but… I told you about the collar settings because you were nagging me about safety, and I totally forgot about those.”

 

Shoko winced. “Great first impressions you have going for you.”

 

“You’d think Satoru would have bolted after that, but he just… It was like he gave up, Shoko. I saw the way he just resigned himself for what I can only assume was more. I think he was so panicked because he thought I’d punish him for throwing up even though that’s the most common cat thing in the world! I don’t even know how to describe how sickening it was,” Suguru explained. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to get the image of a still twitching from pain Satoru just bowing his head in resignation for more torture. “The shop said it was just a small shock, too, but it wasn’t. It was just the first level but he locked up as someone would if they stuck a fork into a light socket. I… Fuck, Shoko, I found fresh burn marks on his neck from it when I removed his collar for a bath. It had to be chafing against the fabric, but he hid all his pain. I even tried to block that metal part where the electricity comes out with the bandages I patched him up with and he rearranged the collar so it would still be against his skin. He knows somehow and —”

 

“I believe you, even if you are explaining it like shit,” Shoko said, cutting him off, as she took another sip of tea. “You’re rarely wrong when it comes to reading people. Or hybrids now, I guess.”

 

He’d really been word vomiting there, hadn’t he? At least Shoko understood what he’d been trying to say.

 

“I think a handler was taking advantage of their job. I read over Satoru’s files, and apparently his behavior drastically changed after a handler took him home for constant training for a few weeks,” Suguru confessed. He didn’t care if it had made Satoru better behaved. All it had really done was traumatize the hybrid into submission to avoid more pain and agony. “I should probably report it, but I don’t really have any actual proof.”

 

Shoko shook her head as she frowned. “If it’s as obvious as you say, then they definitely know, but just don’t care enough to do anything. Reporting it wouldn’t do shit, especially since I’m assuming Satoru’s behavior changed to be more obedient after it, right?”

 

Suguru nodded. “I can’t shake the feeling that the company is horrible. I’ve always been a little freaked by those places, and I always just blamed it on hybrids looking so human, but…”

 

“But it’s a multi million company, Geto. You don’t get that rich by being moral,” Shoko answered. Money made the world go round and drained the life from everyone who wasn’t at the top. Shoko’s entire existence because of her job’s long hours and constant under-staffed nature spoke volumes. “They push as many boundaries as they can with human workers and go through legal loopholes to either wring a few extra dollars of work for them or to just play mindgames with them. How far do you think they’d go with hybrids who have barely any protections? Because I’m guessing it gets gritty behind the scenes.”

 

Suguru nodded and he threaded his fingers through Satoru’s hair. In the end, he could only hope Satoru was a particularly tragic case. An outlier. He was starting to miss that university anti capitalist student club he’d been part of. Or as they were officially known as, a government philosophy club so they wouldn’t be shut down. In the end they hadn’t made any actual difference, but it was nice to actually be upset about the world instead of resigned to it.

 

Satoru continued to pretend to nap as Suguru and Shoko continued talking together. Shoko gave the hybrid one last scratch behind the ears before she went to leave.

 

“You know,” she started as she put her shoes back on, “You genuinely are looking better now with Satoru. I know it’s a lot of work on your part, but he’s definitely helping.”

 

Suguru smiled. He tried not to blame himself for all the worry he put Shoko through due to his own mental health, but just maybe she’d be able to relax a little more now that she knew he wouldn’t try to take a one way skydive without a parachute.

 

As usual, Shoko left in a hurry as she always did after saying anything even a little genuine and emotional. Despite the exhaustion fueled apathy she’d dawned to survive, she really was the same as she’d always been deep down. She’d started medicine because she cared, after all.

 

 

---

Suguru’s mind whirled as he prepared dinner. The facility had blatantly lied about the shock collars and that couldn’t be their only lie, but at the end of the day, Suguru didn’t know what he didn’t know. He didn’t even know what things to question or not.

 

They claimed hybrids liked toys that their animal counterparts also enjoyed, and that certainly wasn’t a lie. Satoru sometimes even bit on his sensory toy even when napping. Tail grooming? Suguru still had yet to try that even though Satoru had allowed him to get close to it with the hair dryer. He’d have to build more trust with Satoru before he tried it. Satoru’s medical records? Those seemed very likely, but Satoru seemed physically fine. Suguru would schedule a vet wellness visit to double check, though. The only other thing they’d instructed him on was the food, but doubting that one would be ridiculous. It was widely used and Satoru always ate his, so —

 

Suguru paused in what he was doing. It wasn’t like Satoru had a choice. He either ate that or nothing at all. The hybrid had savored that simple cup of tea as if it were the most wonderful thing in the world.

 

Suguru sighed and opened his phone to text Shoko that he’d need to borrow her cat to try something out. Hybrids could eat both human food and what their animal counterparts did. Aside from raw meat, Satoru would enjoy what humans did as well, so only an actual cat would be able to vouch for the quality of Satoru’s canned food. Granted, Lady Scratchalot wasn’t picky and would act as an indiscriminate vacuum cleaner, but she was also the only cat Suguru would be able to test it on.

 

Doubling what he was making, Suguru continued to cook dinner. He’d have to add some more to what he’d been planning on eating to get all the necessary nutrients in. It was fine to malnourish himself, but it wouldn’t be the same if he subjected Satoru to that as well.

 

Suguru served the both of them and slid Satoru’s plate over to the hybrid. The result was instant as Satoru’s eyes lit up. Maybe the reaction alone would make the extra cooking worth it on a regular basis.

 

“You seemed to like the tea, so…” Suguru mumbled, even if it didn’t matter whether he explained himself or not. It wasn’t like Satoru could understand him.

 

He watched as Satoru took his first bite of the food. It should be good, but who knew how the hybrid’s tastebuds had developed? He had the distinct feeling Satoru would try to hide things if he thought it tasted disgusting, so he watched to pick up on any signs himself.

 

Satoru’s blue eyes went wide as saucers all while his ears and tail perked up. Holy shit. Suguru would have thought Satoru had tasted ambrosia from the gods with that reaction alone, but it was only a simple meat and rice dish in front of him. Satoru swayed in his chair as if doing a small little happy dance as he continued to eat. It would be adorable if it weren’t all so concerning.

 

Suguru started to eat his own dinner, more than sure that Satoru fully enjoyed the change of pace, only to freeze as Satoru made the first sound he’d uttered since meeting Suguru. A series of happy cat chirps filled the air as Satoru smiled once he’d caught Suguru’s eye again. The hybrid looked at him as if Suguru had hung every star in the sky and given it all to Satoru. Grateful was the only word Suguru could use to describe the feeling behind them, but that couldn’t be right. Wasn’t that too complex of a feeling for a hybrid?

 

Unfortunately, Suguru had the sinking feeling that there really was something wrong with the canned food.

 

Satoru continued to be in an especially good mood for the rest of the night as he wouldn’t separate from Suguru for any longer than two seconds. He couldn’t find it in himself to mind in the slightest, though. If anything, it meant Satoru was trusting him more.

 

He could swear it felt like Satoru was trying to read along with him when the hybrid rested his own head on Suguru’s shoulder on the couch. That was completely impossible though, even if he could swear the hybrid’s eyes were scanning the pages of the book Suguru had opened. Once he switched to his laptop to check emails though, Satoru seemingly lost interest and took to napping while plastered against Suguru.

 

At least he was getting his recommended eighteen hours of sleep a day.

 

Suguru’s nerves thrummed as he woke Satoru up from his nap for bed. By now he would have just let him roam the house at night if he wished since he had the distinct feeling that even if Satoru got the zoomies he wouldn’t wreck every piece of furniture within the apartment, but he still had to figure out what exactly it was.

 

He pulled the newly finished gloves over Satoru’s hands before he led Satoru up to his room. He’d replaced one final thing in it and if it didn’t work, then he’d have to assume the room was haunted by something only Satoru could see. Was there a service for hiring exorcists? There had to be one out there, then it would be down to figuring out which religion would do the trick.

 

Shoko would probably crack a joke about converting to whichever one solved the problem since it would have to be legitimate.

 

Suguru had replaced one last thing in the morning while Satoru had slept. It was such a bad idea on his part, but it really was the only thing left. If he had to stay up an extra hour to set things up again then that’s what he would do.

 

He opened the door for Satoru to reveal how he’d replaced the bed with a nest of pillows and blankets. Honestly, he wouldn’t be offended if Satoru got mad at him for taking away the arguably nicest thing in the entire room. He’d bought everything else second hand, like almost everything else in the apartment.

 

Satoru froze and Suguru braced himself for a very pissed off hybrid. He wouldn’t be happy either if his bed was taken. What an idiot he’d been and —

 

Satoru finally turned to him, tears in his eyes but the most heartbreakingly happy smile on his face before the hybrid nuzzled into Suguru and began to purr louder than Suguru had ever heard him. Satoru’s long, fluffy tail wrapped around Suguru as if he was being hugged as Satoru looked up at him, more emotion in his eyes than any hybrid should ever have.

 

Thank you.

 

The two words seemed to be screamed at him from Satoru’s expression and his actions, but it didn’t make sense. It was just a bed. Why would Satoru flinch at something so mundane yet submit himself to electric torture? It couldn’t be some cat quirk with how Satoru was behaving, but Suguru couldn’t figure out —

 

Horror washed through Suguru and frosted through his blood. Satoru had been subdued within weeks when brought home. Satoru would get jumpy if Suguru even got near the bed when trying to tell Satoru good night. Satoru almost refused to lie on a bed after what Suguru could only assume to be nightmares that would make the hybrid throw up.

 

It couldn’t be. No one could have hurt Satoru in such a way, but every sign pointed to it.

 

Suguru shakily hugged the happy bundle of Satoru in his arms who was still purring. Who would ever see that life and happiness, but choose to destroy it? He was starting to think more and more that there was a good reason Satoru had been aggressive when younger. If Suguru ever found out what monster had hurt Satoru for their own pleasure, he’d hunt them down and draw out their death. No one like that deserved to live.

 

“Looks like I found it, huh?” Suguru got out, his voice shaky as he tried to force a smile. His stomach churned as he thought back to when he’d first gotten Satoru and how he’d shown the hybrid his new room within only a few minutes of meeting him. Satoru must have been terrified. First being in the hands of a stranger, then taken to a home similar to where he’d probably been ruthlessly abused, and then he’d been shown to a bed just to confirm it all in his mind.

 

Satoru all but insisted on Suguru following him into the room to tuck him into his new ‘bed’. Suguru would go out shopping, hopefully with Satoru, to get him a proper hybrid pet bed. Satoru was still purring when Suguru left, the hybrid curled up amidst the pillows and his long tail encircling him as he held the plushie Suguru had gotten him.

 

Suguru shakily walked to his own bedroom as tears finally fell and rolled down his face. Just why had Satoru been so kind and caring when he’d thought Suguru would torture him? He’d done nothing to earn the hybrid’s trust. Satoru should have hated him since the day he’d taken the hybrid home with him.

 

By the time Suguru finished crying, his eye ached and a headache pounded in his head. Satoru deserved a much better life than the one he’d endured.

Notes:

sorry if this was poorly edited. i put off editing it until i realized it was 6am because i'd been spending my time very wisely by investing hours in that one anime girl horse derby gacha game (umamusume. it's so addicting once you get past the fact they turned real race horses into anime horse girls that are also idols for some reason. actually, it's so stupid that i think it's a bonus) and then i realized after my haze of grinding in the game that not only was it light out again, but that i was (and still am) shaking with my heart beating out my chest because i've kind of forgotten to eat for the last 11 hours or something. anyway i'm going to bed

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 8: I Hear That Sound

Satoru woke in a nest of pillows and blankets in the morning. He sat up, yawning, only to realize he’d actually slept through the night for once. That didn’t make any sense though. He was a light sleeper by nature, the snow leopard side of him always alert for inevitable danger, but —

 

Oh. That was why.

 

Satoru couldn’t help but smile to himself as he stretched. Geto must have decided that he wouldn’t punish Satoru like that. The man was insane. Really, it was no wonder he’d been assigned a therapy animal. Just how else was he planning to keep Satoru in line after he very clearly stated he’d never use the shock collar on Satoru and he’d removed his threat.

 

He didn’t want to disobey, and for some reason, his owner had decided that Satoru throwing up in the hall wasn’t bad behavior. He’d said it was normal for cats to his friend. But just how would Geto keep himself safe? Satoru was dangerous. Aggressive. Angry. Those were the words they always used to describe him. If some wild instinct took over him and he somehow saw Geto as prey, then…

 

Satoru banished the thought as he repositioned his collar again so the prongs would touch his skin. He’d never forgive himself if he so much as scratched the kind human. His poor owner who was showing clear signs of dangerous and self-destructive habits by his misguided idea that punishments were the same as hurting Satoru. Things wouldn’t last, he knew that already, but he’d been given more mercy and kindness within the last several days than he’d gotten in his life combined. That wasn’t something he’d ever be able to forget.

 

Satoru hesitated before he gathered the courage to open the door and leave his room. Crawling anxiety and blaring warnings all told him that he was being bad, that he’d be punished, for leaving the place his owner had put him. But he had to adapt to the new strange rules his owner had.

 

A wonderful smell wafted through the house, one of human food. He’d learned it was rare for Geto to actually prepare a full meal for himself since Satoru assumed it took up too much energy for him.

 

He couldn’t help but draw closer to the human who still had his back turned. He was making his own food even though Satoru hadn’t been there to pressure him into doing it or remind him of proper meal times. His owner was slowly getting better, and that friend of his had even credited Satoru for it. He was somehow the reason Geto had found the rare energy to take care of himself.

 

Maybe his handlers were right. Happiness flowed through him at the human’s progress. They’d always claimed that he’d only find his purpose when he was properly owned, but then again, it was Geto who owned him. Geto was kind unlike humans. Satoru would have still hated any other owner, even if he’d learned to submit and let things happen.

 

Geto turned to him with a smile and Satoru’s heart leapt. His owner seemed to be genuinely happy for once somehow despite his dark eyebags that acted as a shadow to his slightly puffy and red twinged eyes.

 

“Right, the gloves,” his owner mumbled to himself as he glanced down at Satoru’s hands. Satoru blinked in confusion even as he extended his hands. Was that really why Geto thought he’d approached him? They really wouldn’t be that difficult to get off with his idea of a lock being wires he’d inserted around the wrist of the glove, fitted to Satoru so ridiculously carefully so he wouldn’t chafe against the impossibly soft yarn, and then just twisted the ends.

 

Then again, it wasn’t like his owner knew any better. To him, Satoru was just a slightly more intelligent animal whose limits included childproof locks and the like. Even without his fingernails, which were growing at an alarming rate for Satoru, he’d have managed by just using his mouth.

 

Satoru looked over Geto’s shoulder as the man turned back to cooking. His ears perked up as he saw it all. Finally it looked like the human was catching up on some lost meals with the amount of food he was making. Even Satoru’s canned food, disgusting and vile as it was, at least didn’t lie in one area. He got all his nutrients, even if blended together into sludge, but so many of Geto’s meals had lacked the balance his owner needed.

 

Geto laughed a little as he saw how Satoru’s ears had perked up. “Breakfast will be ready soon, Satoru. Just wait a few more minutes.”

 

Satoru still stayed beside Geto, since his owner seemed to like that. Geto wouldn’t remain so inhumanly kind, not when he finally got all of his mind in order. It was in Satoru’s best interest to keep him ill, but he couldn’t bring himself to even properly entertain the idea. He loved Geto’s rare smiles and laughs. He loved how even a sliver of happiness could soften the human’s face. It wasn’t even that Satoru owed the human his help to repay him for the last several days of kindness. He adored the human, so when it would all inevitably come crashing down because Satoru had succeeded, maybe then it would be easier to take punishments and follow every command no matter what it was.

 

Geto turned the stove burner off and grabbed two plates from one of the kitchen cupboards. That was strange, but the human was as well, so Satoru would just blame it on impaired vision from what had to be a sleeping problem.

 

Maybe it wasn’t a vision problem though with the way Geto proceeded to split his large meal into two equal portions on the separate plates. Still, Satoru sat at what he’d learned was his designated spot on the table as he waited for the familiar sound of Geto popping one of his cans open. Geto instead walked over with the two plates, matching sets of eating utensils on each one, and sat. Maybe Satoru hadn’t earned his breakfast? That at least made sense. He’d slept in to the point the human had needed to make his meal without any help.

 

Instead, Geto slid the second plate full of human food to Satoru. He looked down at it as his brain blanked. He’d been given human food for the first time just last night. Human food was too expensive to be wasted on hybrids, so it couldn’t be for him. It could be a self control test for Geto to see if his hybrid would be greedy and gluttonous enough to go against all training just for some delicious food.

 

“Satoru, you can eat,” Geto prompted, his commands to Satoru always padded with extra words that made them nice instead of demanding. “You still look interested in it…”

 

Did he think Satoru would refuse food? It didn’t matter what it was. If his owner told him to eat something, then he’d eat it. He’d learned that as a cub when they’d decided it was time for him to switch from his mother’s milk to the sludge. He obviously didn’t remember much of it due to his age, but he did remember a feeling of absolute terror as his body ached from whatever they’d done to him. He presumed he finally gave in and just ate at that point, but that was all he had. A snapshot of an image and the feelings that had drowned him back then.

 

Satoru tentatively took a bite, eyes flickering to Geto over and over for permission, before he finally tasted the new human food. He had no doubt his tail and ears had already perked up, but just like last night, it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. He couldn’t put a single name to any of the flavors since he’d never experienced them before, but they flooded his mouth as he savored each bite instead of his regular habit of just swallowing his food as quickly as possible so it would be over with.

 

Geto somehow looked so pleased whenever he looked at him as Satoru did his best to show the human how much he liked it since he wasn’t allowed to talk. He could only lean into his feline mannerisms since that was what the human believed he was. It was a strange feeling to do so. Sure, he’d been made and taught to force them, but he kept doing them with only a little thought when with Geto. If he were more used to the strange lightness in his chest, then he imagined he’d make them naturally.

 

The rest of the day went through in nothing but bliss. As Satoru napped on the couch as Geto probably did his human job on his laptop, he couldn’t help but feel like he was ever so slowly starting to think that things wouldn’t make a turn within an instant. He wouldn’t open his eyes to Geto hurting him because it was fun or find the human’s hands up his shorts.

 

Geto seemed measured, so it would be a gradual change, wouldn’t it? Which meant he had to enjoy everything while it lasted for whatever fleeting time it would. Satoru glanced over to Geto who was still working and it was so selfish of him, but he didn’t want to just simply nap on the couch beside him. He wanted the human to run his fingers through his in ways that seemed to scratch an itch he’d never realized he had. He wanted to listen to Geto talk to himself about whatever silly insecurity or confusion he was facing in the moment. He wanted his owner to give him all his attention so Satoru could savor every second like the human food.

 

Satoru remained still, though. He wasn’t going to press his luck. Yet, at least. Even he’d be miffed if he was interrupted while doing something like grooming his tail. Geto would probably feel the same way, and unlike Satoru who’d had to learn his wants and even needs were below the whims of a human, Geto wasn’t like that. He was the human in question, even if he acted so kind it was getting difficult to file him in the same category as the rest of his race.

 

Instead of demanding attention, Satoru resigned himself to even more napping. He’d wake whenever Geto shifted or stretched, but then go back to sleep once he’d seen nothing had actually changed.

 

Until Geto closed his laptop with a sigh of relief and put it down. He’d barely even begun to stretch before Satoru took it as an opportunity and all but pounced into his lap. He’d never shown any affection for a human before. As for other hybrids, they always distanced themselves from him to make sure he wouldn’t get them in trouble too when he lashed out at the handlers. He understood, even if for years and years he’d tried to resist and at least enact some revenge, so he’d also distanced himself from them in turn. It had been better that way for everyone.

 

Geto startled for a second, and Satoru was sure that if he wanted Satoru off then he’d either tell him or give Satoru a warning shock so he wouldn’t be so proactive again, but neither of those things happened. Instead, Suguru began to pet his head after a breath of a laugh.

 

It didn’t take long for Satoru to relax into the human’s touch and warmth, and his eyelids began to droop. He didn’t mean to fall asleep on Geto’s lap, but when reality began to piece together for him, he realized that’s exactly what he’d done. Warmth oozed through him and his body may as well have turned into putty with the way he’d relaxed, but then one other thing trickled into his senses.

 

A rumbling in his chest. Something deep and so content Satoru didn’t even want to question it, but it was too strange not to. He’d never truly purred a day in his life, each and every single one forced out of him, but they’d all felt weird. Too tight and almost constrictive instead of the purr he’d unconsciously started while sleeping that made him relax even more.

 

If this was what a real purr felt like, then he decided he loved it.

 

Geto was still sitting still, so the human must have fallen asleep with Satoru once he’d been eased into a relaxed state by him. That was good, then. He needed all the sleep he could get to catch up, even by human standards. Satoru was going to get him to take so many well deserved naps this way in the future, and he began to drift off again. They could both use some more time to sleep.

 

Geto’s chest trembled the slightest amount and Satoru peeled his head away to find Geto crying as he tried to muffle himself. It didn’t make sense. This was his apartment so he could be as loud as he wanted to, but either way, Satoru butted and rubbed his head against Suguru. It was the only way that had ever worked in comforting the human.

 

“It’s okay,” Geto said, his voice breaking and everything very much not okay even as he began to pet Satoru. “You can go back to sleep.”

 

Satoru tried not to make a face at that comment. It was his job and now assigned purpose in life to comfort Geto. He looked at Geto again in some attempt to figure out what was wrong, only to find that the human looked wrecked. His face had flushed and his eyes had gone all puffy and jarringly red. Even if it was some mood swing, it was very much not okay, but Satoru could only sit there and do next to nothing in an attempt to fix it. He wasn’t even sure that he’d be able to do much even if he was allowed to talk.

 

“How can you trust any of us?” Geto whispered. Well, he was wrong. Satoru didn’t trust humans in the slightest, but it was only Geto who was starting to become Satoru’s one exception. “You’re napping and purring in my lap even though… Even though since you got here, until last night, you thought I was… No wonder you were terrified, but now suddenly…”

 

Satoru didn’t outwardly react to Geto’s words. It probably had something to do with what he’d talked about his friend, thinking Satoru couldn’t understand him. Something about how Satoru had been ‘abused’. Humans were never concerned about how they were trained, so Geto wasn’t supposed to be either. Besides, it had drained all of Satoru's fight so he’d be docile and good.

 

Satoru wrapped his tail around his human in a hug. Geto was too compassionate for his own good and far too sad about Satoru’s so-called ‘abuse’. It was what had made him such a good gift for his human, after all.

Notes:

okay, so first off, i am so sorry i haven't answered the previous chapter's comments yet. it's usually one of the first things i do after i wake up and i will be answering all of them tomorrow after work. i'm also sorry that this chapter is shorter and for any errors in it, but i really wanna go to bed now i've been even more sleep deprived than usual T-T i rushed this chapter because i didn't even start it until 1am in the morning. apparently the one thing i'm vulnerable to as an ao3 author who will update almost no matter what is not, for instance, a long-term relationship break-up that happened mid writing a chapter, one of the most shitty elections in my country for a leader, my favorite character's confirmed death, a migraine so bad i'm almost vomiting, or how i wrote several older fics while bedridden from chronic pain. instead of those, it's a fucking anime horsegirl management sim gacha game T-T i really have no excuse. i've been hyperfixating on it for so hard my therapist today wrote down "sleep deprived" on his notes and i've been forgetting to eat these last 2 or 3 days until i'm literally shaking and about to pass out. i'm already itching to open the game again even though it's 5am and i have work tomorrow... well, at least i updated!!

also satoru calling suguru "his human" was not a typo and instead very intentional. i'm sure there some weird mistakes elsewhere in the chapter because i'm too tired to edit it

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 9: It's Ringing Again

Suguru tried not to shake as he pet a once again napping Satoru who was still purring up a storm. Suguru could swear he felt the vibrations from it in even his own body. It was like someone had breathed life into the abused and terrified hybrid since the morning, but the answer was all too obvious.

 

It was all because he’d taken the bed. Satoru hadn’t been so cautious just because of the abuse he’d gone through, but because he believed Suguru would try to rape him. He’d expected such torture and violation, yet he’d still purred for Suguru and insisted on him eating. He’d lean into small touches and looked at Suguru with stars in his eyes when he’d eaten normal food. He’d done all that while believing Suguru would inevitably do such an unforgivable thing.

 

The change had been so immediate, Satoru seemingly grateful of all things that Suguru wouldn’t assault him. Grateful instead of relieved or any other normal reaction. What sort of monster had done such a thing to Satoru so many times he associated beds with that act? Had it been multiple over years or just one? It churned Suguru’s stomach to think it, but if Satoru was a human, he would have been attractive by looks alone. Of course Suguru had never even thought that before, but it was also the excuse often made for assault. That they were too pretty, that they’d been wearing something appealing, that they’d led them on just by being decent. Suguru already had no doubt that if ever brought up, they’d blame Satoru’s looks in an attempt to shift the blame.

 

It was sickening to think of how those people had abused Satoru who was just a hybrid. Who probably didn’t know what was happening aside for how painful and violating it had been. A hybrid who’d never be able to ask for help or get away without being punished for escaping an abuser.

 

Suguru continued to stroke the hybrid’s hair and he didn’t even mind that his legs had gone numb. He couldn’t disturb Satoru when he finally felt safe and had reached out to Suguru himself. No wonder Satoru was so terrified of humans that he’d even feigned sleep around Shoko in what was probably some desperate bid to be as unnoticeable and tucked away as possible.

 

Satoru had every reason to hate humans and Suguru would never blame him if he decided to hide or lash out at strangers. He must have been taught over and over again that humans couldn’t be trusted be it shock collars or them using his body. Yet the thought caused a sadness to well up in Suguru’s chest to choke him with. Satoru seemed like such a social cat who desperately needed affection and love with the way he’d always ask for pets and would accompany Suguru all over the house. He didn’t deserve to live the rest of his life in terror and deprive himself of connection.

 

Suguru couldn’t tell Satoru that humans weren’t always out to hurt him, or even that Shoko was a safe person for him to be around. The words wouldn’t even be understood by Satoru, so it would be a long journey instead. He’d have to ease Satoru back into things until he’d finally stop assuming every human was a monster unless proven otherwise.

 

It could take years. An amount of time Suguru didn’t even like thinking about trudging through for his own personal reasons, but maybe for Satoru, he would have a reason to. For now, he’d just try to stick around long enough to help Satoru recover. He couldn’t even think of the rest yet, not when a hybrid’s lifespan was usually just a bit shorter than a human’s. Maybe he’d have found a new reason to press on with life once he’d accomplished that goal, but only time would tell. He couldn’t leave Satoru behind when he was the human Satoru had chosen to trust after everything he’d been through. Satoru who wouldn’t understand what had happened and would think that Suguru had just abandoned him. Satoru who’d likely be taken in by another strange owner he couldn’t trust.

 

For a fleeting second, Suguru wondered if Satoru would share the cat trait of eating their owner’s body once dead. Suguru couldn’t say he’d mind it since at least he’d probably be enough nourishment until someone, likely Shoko, would end up figuring out what happened.

 

But for Satoru, he’d try to live a little longer, and what a strange feeling it was to be determined to survive instead of die. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had an actual reason to press forward.

---

 

Suguru clipped the leash he’d gotten to a hook on Satoru’s collar. He both didn’t want to leave the hybrid home all by himself, but his therapist had told him several times that she’d want to see his therapy hybrid once he’d gotten one.

 

Doubt crept into Suguru’s mind once again. While they wouldn’t come into contact with many people, it could still be too much for Satoru. He’d been on edge when even Shoko had visited, but Suguru knew far too well how being alone could worsen anxiety.

 

“We’re just going to one of my appointments. Promise it’ll be fine,” Suguru soothed as he pulled away from the hybrid. Satoru couldn’t understand him and never would, but Satoru’s tail slowed its flicking back and forth. At least he could be comforted by Suguru’s tone of voice. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. I promise my therapist is a very nice lady.”

 

Satoru only stared at Suguru with blank, yet brilliant blue, eyes. He still found it unnerving just how human Satoru looked, how the emotions that flooded Satoru would present so humanly, and then the whiplash of the blank look Satoru often wore. No light in his eyes. No life or thoughts. It was as if Satoru wasn’t even in his body, but Suguru reminded himself that it was normal. Blank probably meant he was okay since it was the same for cats. It wasn’t fair to judge him by human standards.

 

Suguru stepped out the door, leash in hand but the length lax, and Satoru followed him. He couldn’t help but glance at the hybrid to judge his reaction to the outdoors. He’d seemed fine with things when Suguru had first brought him home, but he must have been terrified and hiding it then. Now though…

 

A spark of light finally shown in Satoru’s eyes as the sun hit him and the hybrid looked up at the sun for a moment. His ears perked up in the way they always did when he was happy or particularly interested in something. Suguru would have to find something they could do outside without many people. He’d been depriving Satoru of the sun this entire time, hadn’t he? Closed blinds so his insomnia induced headaches wouldn’t be triggered from the light. His solitary habits which meant he rarely stepped outside the house save for when he needed some necessity.

 

Satoru deserved a better owner, but it had been Suguru who’d chosen him and Satoru who’d decided despite his history of abuse, despite that night with the shock collar, despite what he’d thought Suguru would do to him, that he’d trust Suguru.

 

The walk to Suguru’s car went by far too quickly, and this time, he let Satoru sit in the front seat. At least the drive to the clinic Suguru went to wouldn’t take long. He’d heard somewhere about how car rides would throw off a cat’s balance enough to make them nauseous. There were good reasons they didn’t like drives.

 

Satoru however didn’t even try to hide his awe as he stared out of the side window when the car started. He was almost pressed against the glass to take everything in. Unfortunately for Satoru’s curiosity, they arrived at the clinic within a few minutes.

 

The change in Satoru’s demeanor was like that of night and day when Suguru got him out of the car and into the clinic. Satoru’s sparkling eyes and perked up ears turned to his eyes scanning the area as his tail flicked back and forth.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. All okay. The people here are nice,” Suguru soothed Satoru as they walked to the reception desk. Satoru’s tail curled around Suguru’s leg as they stopped in front of the desk. Suguru turned to the receptionist and plastered a fake smile to his face. “I’m here to check in. I’m —”

 

“You don’t need to reintroduce yourself, Geto,” the receptionist laughed as she handed him a few papers and a clipboard. “Finally got a hybrid, huh? You’re very sweet to him.”

 

Suguru nodded as he threaded his fingers through the hair on the back of Satoru’s head. “He’s a bit anxious right now, but that’s to be expected. He’s a sweetheart.”

 

“He does look like one. Though I’ve heard snow leopards often carry their tail in their mouth. I’m a bit surprised he isn’t doing that especially if he’s anxious,” the lady continued. Honestly, it felt as if they were just acquaintances catching up as Suguru circled the answers on the mental wellness check sheet he’d basically memorized.

 

Suguru glanced at Satoru. Now that he thought of it, that would be a more manageable way for the hybrid to deal with his tail. “Maybe he will when he gets more comfortable? I’ve only had him for a week now. It’s a big change for him to go from one of those facilities to a stranger’s place.”

 

He didn’t mention anything about how Satoru had been abused. For some reason, doing so felt wrong. Violating, even. Satoru wasn’t human, though. It’s not like he could know or mind, yet Suguru still found himself spinning half truths nonetheless.

 

“You really are turning into quite the cat dad,” the lady laughed. Suguru huffed one as well before he hesitated over jotting down his answer to a question. He x’d out his automatic answer of ‘every day ’ and changed it to ‘often’ . No wonder he’d been feeling so strange recently. “You do seem the type.”

 

Suguru nodded as he postponed his sudden realization. “The only reason I’ve never gotten a pet is because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to take care of it. But after some prodding and encouragement, well…”

 

Suguru returned the pen he’d been using to the holder.

 

“Well who couldn’t take care of something so adorable?” the woman answered with a smile. “May I pet him?”

 

She was halfway to her feet as Satoru stiffened and Suguru found himself spinning yet another story without so much as a second thought.

 

“Sorry,” he replied with a smile as he shifted to stand in front of Satoru ever so slightly. The tail around his leg relaxed a little. “Satoru isn’t fond of being touched by strangers. You know how cats are. It took me days until he actually tried to get me to pet him.”

 

The lady nodded and the two of them walked away to sit in the waiting room. Suguru simply pulled out his phone to kill time, which he already knew wouldn’t be long, but he’d made sure to sit in an area without many other people.

 

“Geto Suguru?” a woman’s voice called. Suguru got up and Satoru followed close after him. Any less distance and it would be a tripping hazard for the both of them.

 

His therapist smiled as she saw and led the two of them back to her office. “So you finally followed my advice. He looks a bit anxious, though.”

 

“They said he had anxiety,” Suguru said with a shrug. They walked into her office and he handed her the papers he’d filled out before sitting down on the couch. Satoru hesitated for a second before he followed suit, but sat with his back ramrod straight and squeezed his tail between his legs as if trying to hide how it twitched.

 

“How did you get a snow leopard hybrid, though? I could swear the insurance only covered the base tier, and I know you don’t splurge,” she asked. Maybe it was her job to be observant, but as of now, he really wished that she hadn’t noticed.

 

Satoru may have a bit of a history?” Suguru explained. He wasn’t blind to how reckless he’d been. “Apparently he was pretty aggressive when young. He’s very gentle and kind now, though.”

 

“You may be right, but it’s important that you remember Satoru here isn’t a human. Kindness is very complex in both thought and resulting action,” his therapist reminded him as she jotted down a note. “That being said, you are looking better. I take it Satoru’s had a hand in it?”

 

“I really hate you were right about me getting a hybrid,” Suguru mumbled. He’d insisted it wouldn’t work, that he was creeped out by them, but then Satoru had happened and he suddenly understood.

 

“Well, I am always right,” she answered with a little laugh. “Any changes that Satoru has helped with?”

 

Suguru nodded. Telling her what Satoru hadn’t helped him with would probably be a shorter answer. “He must have been trained to make sure his owner eats, because he’d refuse to eat unless I did. I know it’s normal to gain disproportionate weight when eating after you’ve slowed down your metabolism, but it’s a really weird feeling to eat like I should. I guess I’ll be making more rounded meals now though, because it seems like Satoru vastly prefers human food.”

 

“I was hoping for that. It’s strange, but most hybrids are like that. Most people attribute it to becoming tired of the same old food due to their heightened intelligence for an animal,” she answered. If anything, her remark had only strengthened his suspicions, but he’d be finding out about Satoru’s so-called hybrid food very soon.

 

“My insomnia is still about the same, but that can’t be helped,” Suguru continued. If anything, Satoru had been making is slightly worse with the way Suguru would subconsciously listen for the hybrid at night in case he threw up again. “It’s been easier to work, though. He likes to sit next to me and nap while I transcribe things. I think I’d feel a little guilty now if I didn’t pull myself together to leave my room.”

 

She nodded as she jotted down another note. “So would you say he’s been helping you feel more fulfilled?”

 

Suguru paused as he thought back to that answer he’d had to change. He’d never thought the day would come, and he wasn’t sure if he was scared of that change or not. It was good, he knew that logically, but he no longer had an escape even if he’d never been able to make it in the past.

 

“I’ve barely even actually considered attempting since I got Satoru,” he finally answered. His life wasn’t a complete and total void any longer. “It’s so weird. You know how many times I’ve tried to bleed out in the bathtub. You’d think I was trying to set a record, but those urges haven’t been so compelling since I brought Satoru home.”

 

He could swear Satoru stiffened ever so slightly when he’d mentioned his attempts, but he pushed the connection away. Satoru was just anxious. Nothing more and nothing less. That was all.

 

“Which is exactly why I prescribed a hybrid to you. I doubted a normal therapy pet would be enough. Especially with how close you’d gotten last month,” she mused as if it were the most normal conversation topic. Maybe it was one for the two of them. Just how Suguru managed to fuck up his attempts so many times was beyond him.

 

Their session continued as he talked about his life in the last two weeks since he’d had his last appointment. It helped somehow, and she’d told him she was indeed conducting DBT during their conversations, but he couldn’t quite catch it. If anything, words flowed smoothly between them as she told him her honest views on whatever Suguru brought up. Whatever she was doing was slowly working with the way he was gradually getting more control over his actions during both his depressive and manic episodes. They certainly weren’t going away, that was for sure, but he could keep himself afloat in them more often than not now.

 

“So I’m assigning you homework,” she started as their appointment drew to a close. “I want you to set up a meal plan that will be doable even when you have a depressive episode. You’re not just trying to feed yourself anymore. Satoru is definitely helping you, but he can’t magically take away your bipolar.”

 

Suguru rolled his eyes as he stood to leave. “Well there goes my hopes and dreams. I’ll set up another appointment in two weeks. I know the drill.”

 

Suguru could swear he heard her mumble something about how she couldn’t believe she’d been outdone by some cat within a week, but Suguru pretended that he simply didn’t hear it. He did file it away for later, though.

 

For some reason, when they walked outside, Satoru’s eyes didn’t light up again as they had earlier. If anything, he seemed to be —

 

Suguru pushed the thought away. Hybrids didn’t have those complex emotions and he was only reading into things too much. Satoru was probably just tired from an adrenaline crash due to his anxiety. He’d done incredibly well despite how scared he’d been.

 

It didn’t go away even when they arrived home, though. Satoru followed him around as if a shadow and would plaster himself against Suguru while napping. Suguru obliged his hybrid, though. Satoru deserved all the scritches and attention Suguru could give him for being so brave, even if Satoru hadn’t really had a choice. Next time, Suguru would pick up a snack as a reward for Satoru. It wouldn’t be enough to override Satoru’s fear, but maybe he’d come to associate appointments and outings with something tasty.

 

Cats were much more receptive to positive reinforcement, and Suguru glanced at Satoru's collar that due to his fiddling had become a glorified neck piece with a tracker. Something told him that the facility and handlers knew that, but just didn’t care enough or even enjoyed the torture. He’d never know the extent Satoru had been through, but he could only hope that someday Satoru would have enough good memories that the old ones would pale in comparison. Maybe happiness wasn’t something Suguru could achieve, but Satoru could reach it with time. Suguru just had to stick around long enough to see it.

Notes:

sorry if this chapter is sloppy. i don't have the energy to edit it because of my bad sleep and also some things that have been happening in my personal life. i'll probably elaborate on that later when i have things better figured out/things have progressed, but i don't think it sunk in just how fucked up the situation was until very recently since when it comes to my own life, i end up shrugging everything off. but i'm generally okay, so don't worry! it's just taking up some background processing in my head so it's harder for me to write and that sort of thing (and yes i'm still deep in the addiction to that one game, but i am being a bit more consciencous or however you spell that about it now)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 10: Another Crack in the Ice

Satoru couldn’t bear to let Suguru out of his sight for even a few minutes. He’d heard it all in that therapy appointment Suguru had brought him to. Of course he’d always known Geto was mentally unwell due to Satoru’s very purchase and main use, but Geto was in danger because of it.

 

Why would such a kind human be in so much pain that he wanted to end it all? It wasn’t fair. His owner deserved to live every single day with joy and be surrounded with love instead of a lonely, small apartment with some hybrid so unruly he’d been bought for free. Geto had claimed he hadn’t been suicidal since he’d gotten Satoru, but that couldn’t be right. Maybe he wasn’t actively trying to end his life, but his owner kept adjusting Satoru’s collar so the metal prongs wouldn’t touch his neck. His human knew just how dangerous Satoru was, yet claimed he’d never ‘hurt’ him again.

 

Satoru couldn’t let his reckless behavior continue. It was his job to keep Geto alive and healthy, even if that included protecting the human from himself.

 

His first step had been to move his nest of blankets and pillows to be right beside the door to the room Geto kept him in. Satoru would jerk awake every single time Geto would leave his room at night, and Satoru would wait as he strained his ears to make sure his human was okay. It had only been short bathroom breaks over the last few days, but Satoru couldn’t risk it being anything else. If he woke up one morning to find his human dead, body devoid of life because he hadn’t been able to take living any longer…

 

Satoru tried to shake the thought away, even as he cuddled a little closer to Geto on the couch. At every small shift of movement, Satoru would find himself waking from his afternoon napping in order to frantically search for Geto to make sure he was okay.

 

Rest refused to come easily to him anymore as Satoru’s mind whirled in some attempt to fix things. Geto had even mentioned that he’d attempted multiple times. It had to be the human’s mind that was viciously torturing him, even if Satoru couldn’t see it. Suicide wasn’t something foreign to him. Not in the hell he’d been raised in. He’d watched other hybrids attempt, even succeed, and no one would say a word about it save for the handlers who’d taunt them. Silence had never been from lack of care or grief, but of an understanding and hope that just maybe an end was better than the life they’d lived and chosen to leave behind.

 

Satoru didn’t want to think of what his owner’s corpse would look like or how he’d go about it, even if his comment about blood and baths refused to leave Satoru’s mind whenever he stepped into the bathroom. Just how many times had Geto attempted in that very room? How could he stand to bathe there and encourage Satoru to play with the bubbles of soap all while he’d nearly died there multiple times?

 

But unlike all those times Satoru had turned a blind eye in both a scrap of respect for their dignity or just because he simply couldn’t do a thing with the way he’d been either separated from the others or had his movements disabled, he refused to just let such a thing happen to Geto. He didn’t care if Geto would fly into a rage over Satoru stopping him. If his despair would turn to anger where he’d shock Satoru over and over again in frustration. Satoru would find a way to stop him no matter what. His human deserved a much kinder life and brain than the one he’d been given, but all Satoru could do was make him stay alive in hopes things would get better.

 

A thought occurred to him. Maybe Geto was so sad and tortured because he was so kind. It couldn’t be natural for a human to be so kind and gentle the way his owner was. If that’s what it was, then Geto should stop being so kind so he could live and enjoy his life the way humans were supposed to. His owner couldn’t seem to turn it off, though. Satoru could help with that better than any other normal therapy pet, which might have been why he’d been prescribed. Satoru would be perfect for Suguru to use as practice and as a release for his negative emotions.

 

Satoru glanced at Geto as his owner continued to type on his laptop, purple shadows under his eyes, but his hair pulled back in a half-up, and a large, baggy shirt draped over the human that only served to make him look impossible soft despite his build and size. Satoru loved things as they were for him at long last. The way he hadn’t been punished or hurt for over a week, the way Geto kept feeding him human food, and the way Satoru could nap next to the human and bask in his owner’s gentle presence.

 

Geto noticed him and smiled as he reached out to scratch Satoru behind the ears for a few seconds before he went back to work.

 

It would be worth it for Geto to lose his kindness, wouldn’t it? Satoru would see his human smile more from the bottom of his heart and it would all be because of how Satoru would help him. His pain and punishments would finally have a meaning to them since it would heal his owner.

 

Satoru promised to himself to be the best therapy pet for his human no matter what it meant. Geto’s smiles alone could give him meaning for his life.

 

The doorbell rang, the sound of it snapping Satoru out of his thoughts and half baked plan of how he could lead his human toward recovery. As willing and good as he could be, he couldn’t make Geto understand what he had to do in order to heal. No wonder Geto was in so much pain since he was denying his human nature. It wasn’t healthy.

 

Satoru watched Geto get to his feet and answer the door to his friend, Shoko, who had returned but this time with a small carrier in hand. They hadn’t seemed to have bought his sleeping act the last time, and while they’d let it slide, it was pointless to pretend.

 

“So what’s the reason you sought an audience with the Lady?” Shoko started as she set the carrier down on the floor. A fluffy cat paw batted at Geto’s hand as he reached forward to unlatch the front. “I’ll let you know, it was a chore to get her into this thing.”

 

Satoru couldn’t blame the cat. He wouldn’t want to be in one of those things either.

 

Satoru’s eyes went wide as the cat immediately swiped at Geto’s hand as he freed her. Geto just sighed as he watched her prance off as if she’d simply just bumped against him. If that had been Satoru, the repercussions —

 

Not with Geto. With Geto, he could easily imagine the exact same reaction even though the human would have every reason to shock him until Satoru would pass out from it time after time. Hybrids weren’t meant for the same comfort and doting that other pets received. That was just the way things worked.

 

Shoko just snickered. “Her Majesty doesn’t seem too happy with you. You know, you still haven’t told me just why you wanted her specifically.”

 

“I think there’s something wrong with Satoru’s food,” Geto said, and Satoru just barely stopped his eyes from bugging out. He still had to play the role of a dumb cat who couldn’t understand a thing they said. “He seems to vastly prefer our food. I know hybrids have similar tastebuds to ours aside from a liking for whatever their animal counterpart enjoys, so I was thinking…”

 

The two humans looked over to the cat, and Satoru’s stomach dropped. As far as he knew, only artificial smells were added to the sludge so humans would take one whiff and never second guess any adverse reaction from their hybrid if it hadn’t been trained out of them already.

 

Shoko lit up as she followed Geto into the kitchen, where he pulled out one of the cans. “You know how much I love experiments.”

 

“I do…” Geto sighed as he opened one of the cans. Shit. They couldn’t be going through with it. Why did Satoru’s preference even matter? So long as it had the nutrients to keep him healthy, then he was to be perfectly content with it no matter the taste.

 

Satoru could only watch as Geto dished a small portion of it out onto the plate, and the two humans crouched beside it as they waited for the cat to take its time waltzing over. Air burned in Satoru’s lungs. The cat had to like it. He didn’t care what miracle would have to take place for such a thing, but it had to happen.

 

The cat sniffed at the food, seemingly lured in by the smell.

 

Satoru couldn’t be too expensive to take care of by eating fancy human food that took too much energy out of Geto to make. He could eat it every single day all while Geto would eat something unattainably good right in front of him. Satoru could forget about how good food could taste so long as he wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to take care of. He’d do anything to at least be convenient.

 

The cat finally took a bite before she yowled, every hair of her long fur standing on edge as she ran away as though she’d seen a ghost. She hid under the coffee table in the room, right in front of Satoru, and hissed at the two gaping humans.

 

Silence settled over the room and Satoru’s dread grew. He didn’t get why it seemed to matter so much to Geto. He’d eaten that sludge his entire life and he could continue doing so. His owner already had such limited energy.

 

“I swear Lady Scratchalot’s a glorified vacuum clear with how she’ll eat anything,” Geto whispered as he continued to stare at the cat who’d turned to Satoru, seemingly finding an interest in him. “Has she gotten picky recently?”

 

Shoko shook her head. “Nope. I stopped her from eating Iori’s sock yesterday.”

 

The cat jumped up onto the couch where Satoru sat and sniffed him before she settled herself down beside him, apparently finding him acceptable company even if the feelings weren’t returned. Her approval may as well be the final thing that doomed him and finally tipped his behavior into something not even Geto could forgive.

 

“So…” Geto started as he took the largely untouched can of food and stared at it.

 

Shoko’s eyes went wide. “You’re not seriously going to…

 

“Well if it’s not suitable for cats,” Geto said with a shrug as he grabbed a spoon. If Satoru thought his stomach had dropped from horror with the cat, now he truly knew what it meant. Hybrid food wasn’t meant for humans. Humans deserved things that tasted at least decent instead of that sludge.

 

Shoko snorted as she leaned against the kitchen counters. With the slight smile on her face and glint in her eyes, she almost seemed amused by the whole ordeal. “You know, this is really taking me back to middle school when I dared you to drink my sandwich smoothie mixed with chocolate milk and lemonade. Don’t tell me you secretly liked that?”

 

“I still can’t drink chocolate milk,” Geto groaned as he dipped the spoon into the canned food. Satoru had to stop him, but he could only stay glued to the couch like he was supposed to be. They probably only thought he was interested because of the food and commotion. “Well, bon apetit…”

 

Geto immediately gagged as the food went into his mouth and he rushed to the kitchen sink to spit it out as he coughed. Shoko just cackled as she got him a glass of water which he gulped down.

 

The food… It wasn’t that bad, was it? Satoru swore he could be good and eat it.

 

“What the fuck was that?” Geto wheezed as he tried to get a hold of himself again. “It was like they’d mixed all the worst things and chemicals together. I swear it was an entire symphony of clashing horribleness. Shoko, try some out and please tell me it tastes better than that bug you ate once.”

 

Shoko rolled her eyes as she slapped him on the back. “Not doing, drama queen. That bad, huh?”

 

Satoru’s heart hammered in his chest. It would almost be funny if it weren’t for the reality of the situation. Geto was too kind. He wouldn’t make Satoru eat that food anymore and would instead spend far too much time on frivolous human food. He’d realize Satoru was too much of a hassle to take care of and he’d be returned. He’d be returned and they’d take Satoru’s vocal chords as they’d always threatened to do. He wouldn’t be able to speak again, wouldn’t even be able to scream as they’d shock him over and over again until he’d finally break for good and —

 

“I’m throwing this all out,” Geto decided on, confirming all of Satoru’s worst fears in just one second. “That was worse than your fucked up concoctions. How is he even eating this?”

 

Because he was a hybrid and what he liked or disliked didn’t matter. So long as it didn’t impede him from serving Geto, then it didn’t matter.

 

Shoko leveled Geto with a look as she pulled out one of the trashbags under the sink cabinets for Geto to dump everything in. “I think we both know the answer to that one. Once we put this in the trash, you’re going to apologize to the Lady and feed her some actual meat to make up for whatever horror you inflicted on her.”

 

“Yeah yeah. She has my full apologies,” Geto grumbled.

 

Satoru could only watch as they bagged up the entire collection of canned food Geto had so kindly gotten him in a whole array of ‘flavors’ the human had tried to cycle through in an attempt to find Satoru’s favorite. He should have pretended to like one over the others. He should have acted as though he adored the canned food just as much as human food.

 

He could be convenient and eat it. He swore he could.

 

Yet they dragged the trashbag out and returned without it. No matter how much Shoko cooed about her deranged cat snuggling next to Satoru and actually purring, Satoru couldn’t stop panicking. He wouldn’t be worth keeping soon. He’d be sent back. He’d cost Geto so much money all because he hadn’t faked enough excitement over the food. The food he knew was on brand and slightly more expensive all because Geto seemed to want to be impossibly kind to him.

 

Shoko left soon after once she’d successfully lured her cat back into the carrier with another piece of meat Geto had donated to the cause. Satoru wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen a more spoiled cat, but the two humans didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. If that was the behavior Geto was mistakenly comparing Satoru’s mistakes and flaws to, no wonder the human had described Satoru as a ‘sweetheart.’

 

It was only after that Geto sat down beside Satoru again and began to pet him with that sad expression the human wore far too often. The kindness he kept showing had to be hurting him. That was the only explanation for it all, and he’d just gone out of his way in a misguided attempt to spoil Satoru.

 

His human had to be in so much pain and it was all because he was extending the kindness that hurt him to Satoru of all things.

 

Geto leaned down and planted a chaste kiss on Satoru’s forehead, the action so quick Satoru barely had time to process it and how gentle it had been.

 

“I’m going to take care of you. I promise,” Geto whispered as he continued to dote on Satoru. He didn’t deserve every kindness his human showered him without expecting anything back. “There’s so many good foods to try, Satoru. You’ll love them so much. Who knows? Maybe I’ll actually start to eat well again since I’ll be feeding you too.”

 

Oh. Maybe… Maybe it all was a good thing in disguise, then. Satoru purred as he leaned into Geto’s touch for more attention and to comfort the human. It wouldn’t last forever and he knew that. Geto would heal and become enraged at all the money he’d wasted on Satoru, but just maybe Satoru would be kept and simply put back on the hybrid food. Satoru could only hope he wouldn’t be so spoiled by then that he wouldn’t find it revolting, but he’d find a way to eat it and be good one way or another. Anything so long as Geto kept him.

Notes:

barely managed to write this because i've not been doing well physically. i wrote most of this chapter while i was so out of it i could barely even type which really unnerved me because i find typing easier than speaking at this point (which isn't saying much since i was in speak therapy until somewhere in elementary school and still have to be very mindful of how i have to move my mouth and tongue in order to form words right. at least people don't notice because they're always surprised when they find out about my speech therapy history? still takes a lot out of me though)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 11: I Submerged Myself

The sweet smell of mochi wafted through the apartment as Suguru stirred the thickening dough on the stove top. It felt strange to spend energy to make such a frivolous thing, but he finally had good reason to. How Satoru could have tolerated that sludge was beyond him, but it wasn’t like the hybrid had a choice. It had probably been either that or starvation, so he’d gotten used to it. However, it was time to introduce Satoru to an actual array of foods so Suguru could figure out what his favorites were.

 

He had the sneaking feeling that would be easier said than done since anything would be better than that sludge. Suguru could probably give Satoru a charred pancake and it would taste like heaven in comparison.

 

Suguru turned around to grab a spatula from another drawer, just to find Satoru standing silently behind him with no room between them. All sense of balance deserted Suguru as he stumbled, just barely managing to right himself without grabbing onto a hot burner. His heart hammered from adrenaline as he drew in a breath of relief. He hadn’t sprawled to the floor or hurt Satoru, so everything was fine. All he needed was to grab a spatula.

 

Except everything wasn’t fine. Satoru stood with his back pressed against the far wall, blood drained from his face and his blue eyes blown wide in sheer horror. Suguru bit back a curse, any words of anger sure to only frighten the hybrid further, and removed the dough from the stove top before he slowly approached Satoru

 

“It’s okay,” he soothed. Yet Satoru only stared at him in terror as his chest rose and fell in quick and shallow breaths. Cats had a penchant to be tripping hazards, so Suguru hadn’t even thought twice about it, but of course whatever monster had abused Satoru wouldn’t be the same. “None of us got hurt, so it’s all okay.”

 

Satoru froze as Suguru drew the hybrid in for a hug. Satoru’s stiff form felt far too human with the way Suguru couldn’t see his ears or tail while embracing him, and he drew away so he could smile in a way that would also close his eyes. Maybe the hybrid would be able to understand that. There was nothing to forgive.

 

Satoru would be safe with Suguru. No more abuse and cruel punishments awaited him, and Suguru trusted him. As far as he was concerned, nothing had even happened.

 

Satoru still stared at Suguru, but just a little of his earlier panic had melted away.

 

“I’m hoping you’ll like the dessert. I don’t make or buy them often since I don’t have a preference for sweet things,” Suguru said as he retrieved the spatula and continued with the mochi. Maybe it would help Satoru if he continued to speak in a soothing tone. “After this, I’ll just need to bake it, then chill it in the refrigerator.”

 

Satoru stared at Suguru uncomprehendingly, but it was okay. The hybrid finally looked a little less on edge as Suguru prepared the rest of the dessert before he slid it into the oven. At least he’d made enough dinner the night before to have leftovers. He wouldn’t have any energy after this to make anything else.

 

As Satoru followed behind Suguru like a shadow as he made his way to the couch, he realized it would be best to get Satoru some more clothes. He could probably bring the hybrid out with him in case he had any preferences for what he wore. Plus, he needed to stock up on more groceries.

 

Suguru frowned as he realized he’d finished reading the last book he’d checked out from the library. He glanced at the time and there was still an hour left for him to swing by, but going out two days in a row would not work out for him.

 

He’d have to find something to kill time then since it was one of his days off from work. He wasn’t about to do any over time. Suguru turned on the TV.

 

As he’d predicted, nothing caught his eye, but he had to watch something. Anything would be better than staring at the wall as he spiraled in his own thoughts, even if it was a stupid reality show that would try its best to rage bait him.

 

A documentary popped up with a snow leopard as the thumbnail, and Suguru clicked on it immediately. At least that sounded interesting with the way it could be useful. Hybrids always took on traits unique to their animal counterparts, and Suguru only knew the behaviors of regular house cats.

 

Satoru blinked awake from where he’d been napping as the documentary started playing, but instead of going back to sleep as he usually did, the hybrid stared at the TV, seemingly fascinated. His eyes never wandered away even after several minutes as if he knew exactly what was happening on screen. Then again, it did make sense. Satoru was essentially watching one of his animal counterparts for what could very well be the first time. If Suguru was a hybrid, that would blow his mind as well.

 

The narrator began to talk about snow leopard tails. How they were used for balance and how ridiculously long they grew, which brought them to the next point. Footage of snow leopards carrying their tail in their mouth as they walked or just napped came onto the screen.

 

Movement.

 

Suguru watched as Satoru very hesitantly brought the end of his tail to his mouth and bit on it just like the snow leopards he’d seen. They hybrid looked at Suguru with blue questioning eyes, as if asking if he was doing it right. Suguru’s heart melted.

 

Of course it was okay, so he reached out and pet Satoru’s head. He could hold his tail in his mouth whenever he wanted to. Who knew? The narrator claimed it was a self soothing motion, so maybe Satoru had just found a good alternative for biting his nails.

 

Satoru continued to watch the documentary with him as he held his tail in his mouth. It soon turned into Satoru grooming himself using a mix of his hands and tongue to perfect the hair of his tail, until he coughed. Then coughed again.

 

Fuck. Suguru got up to make a mad dash to the kitchen to fetch literally any cheap bowl for an easy clean up since he doubted he’d be able to herd Satoru into the bathroom. Except it was Satoru who beat him by sprinting to the bathroom and closing the door behind him as he hacked up what Suguru could only assume was a hairball.

 

Suguru froze. He did suppose it made sense. Every single time Satoru had thrown up in the hallway, he’d been near the bathroom as if he hadn’t made it in time. He must have been trained to not make a mess which Suguru would appreciate if it wasn’t for the horror and all consuming fear Satoru had trembled with each of those nights.

 

The toilet flushed and Satoru walked out. Suguru handed the hybrid a glass of water to wash away the taste or any residue in his mouth before they returned to how they had been. Suguru couldn’t stop glancing at Satoru’s tail. It had to be a pain to groom even with Satoru’s catlike tongue. Just maybe enough trust had been built between the two of them.

 

After Suguru pulled the mochi out of the oven and set them in the fridge, he entered his room and returned with the grooming brush he’d received, which he was quickly realizing had been the only good thing aside from Satoru he’d received from the facility. Satoru eyed him warily.

 

“Well here goes nothing,” Suguru murmured to himself before he huffed out a laugh. “You’ll probably just smack me with your tail if you don’t like this. Lady Scratchalot would try to have my head if she didn’t like something I did…”

 

Suguru tentatively brushed a single short stroke along Satoru’s tail, who was keeping awfully still. Suguru paused and looked up, hoping for some sort of expression on Satoru’s face that could give him a clue, but instead, Satoru crawled onto Suguru’s lap so he could be brushed better.

 

Suguru continued to brush Satoru’s tail, watching for any twitches that could mean he’d either done something Satoru liked or disliked. A rumbling purr filled the air as Satoru became putty in Suguru’s lap.

 

He was going to be trapped on the couch for another two hours because of a sleeping Satoru, wasn’t he?

 

Suguru wasn’t sure how long he brushed Satoru’s tail for, but he could swear Satoru had begun to drool on Suguru’s shoulder as he slept. He should be disgusted, but he didn’t care. Satoru had somehow decided Suguru was safe enough to enter a deep sleep around. Cats rarely did such a thing.

 

By the time Suguru’s legs went numb, he stopped brushing Satoru’s tail, every single hair sure to be in place and the loose ones already gathered on Suguru’s brush. Honestly, if Satoru let Suguru continue to help groom him, he could probably have a coat made out of Satoru’s fur.

 

Satoru blinked awake and yawned the second Suguru finished, but didn’t leave his lap. If anything, he seemed very intent on remaining right where he was.

 

“Satoru, I have to get the mochi out of the fridge,” Suguru groaned. He couldn’t just kick Satoru off his lap, but Satoru did deserve to have actually good mochi for his first time.

 

Well, Suguru didn’t lift weights for no reason. For being taller than Suguru, Satoru was awfully light in his arms as Suguru carried the hybrid with him to take out the dessert. Satoru’s ears perked up as he watched Suguru set the mochi on one of the kitchen counters. He was probably about to get his mind blown with the discovery of sugar.

 

When Suguru returned to the couch, Satoru seemed way too wound up just to nap. It was still early, but Suguru supposed an early dinner wouldn’t hurt anyone. He couldn’t let Satoru stuff himself with sugar and eat nothing else.

 

Despite the leftovers being warmed up in the microwave, Satoru savored every single bite if the way he slowly ate and how his tail remained perked up was anything to go by. Now that Suguru thought of it, Satoru had basically inhaled his canned food with little to no chewing. He’d thought it was because Satoru was hungry or enjoyed it, but things clicked into place. The hybrid had just been trying to get the ordeal over with as quickly as he possibly could.

 

It was finally time. Suguru served them both some mochi and watched Satoru’s reaction. The change within the first bite was immediate. Satoru’s ears and tail just about strained themselves with how they seemed to be reaching for the sky itself, and Satoru’s eyes sparkled in wonder. He quickly took another bite before he stared at the mochi, seemingly torn on whether to eat it immediately with abandon or to savor it.

 

Suguru smiled as he ate his own serving. He’d known Satoru would have a sweet tooth, but it also presented him with another problem. Satoru could very well try to sneak some at night, but Suguru wasn’t so sure on that. Despite the way Satoru often acted as though a perfectly normal if not overly affectionate house cat, terror would still overtake him at the slightest misstep. The hybrid simply wouldn’t risk it.

 

Suguru found himself wishing that Satoru would steal some, but only time would tell. He’d been meaning to give Satoru free roam of the house at night now that he knew Satoru wouldn’t, say, swipe all the glasses off Suguru’s shelves. Lady Scratchalot had turned that habit into an Olympic sport to the point Shoko only used plastic cups these days.

 

Satoru didn’t try to swipe another from Suguru as he put them away. In fact, it was a little unnerving that Satoru instead simply purred as he rubbed his head against Suguru’s in some sort of thanks. He smiled, though. Satoru must also be scenting him as if to put some sort of claim or seal of approval on Suguru.

 

Satoru didn’t even stare longingly at the fridge even though his face had been alight the entire time he’d eaten the dessert. On the other hand, Lady Scratchalot had torn open the cat treat bag and then gorged herself on treats to the point of regurgitating them. Shoko had kept all her future treats locked in a box. Lady Scratchalot could be a genius when she decided to be, hence why Shoko had padlocked it.

 

The doorbell rang and Suguru turned in surprise. No one was visiting and if it was Shoko dropping by for a surprise visit, she’d probably ring it over and over again to annoy him.

 

Satoru shrank back into the back of the kitchen as Suguru went to see who it was. A teenager stood outside, his head distorted and comically big through the door’s peephole. Regardless, Suguru knew exactly who he was.

 

The teen held a cardboard box in his hands that was probably the result of Suguru’s online shopping, along with a paper on top of it. Suguru sometimes wondered how the kid could even haul those boxes around with how scrawny of a build he had.

 

Grayish blue eyes went wide as Suguru opened the door. It didn’t make sense. Not when the teen did most of the mail around their neighborhood and had caught Suguru in various states of disarray and crippling depression.

 

The teen nodded toward the paper on top of the box that already had a pen on top of it so Suguru could sign off on it. He still didn’t know why the teen never spoke, but he could remember his own minimum wage jobs in high school, so he understood. Customer service hell was generational.

 

Suguru startled mid-signing as Satoru peeked over his shoulder. Just seconds ago he’d been all but hiding out of terror, but regardless of the hybrid's reasons Suguru would probably never know, Satoru wanting to see another human was good. Especially if it was someone like their resident mail carrier who, despite his gloomy air, was completely harmless and even kind in the little ways he’d shown some concern over Suguru’s earlier states.

 

He’d be a good human for Satoru to meet.

Notes:

anyone want to guess who it is even though it's pretty obvious especially with all i've written in the past? anyway, it's finally time for me to slowly feed in small bits of the world building i brainstormed for this au! i'm excited :3

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 12: Buried My Voice for You

It couldn’t be.

 

Satoru didn’t forget scents, no matter how much time passed. Not when it was one of the few ways he and other hybrids had communicated without their handlers being any wiser. Yet it didn’t make sense. The scent didn’t belong right outside Geto’s own door.

 

Satoru padded his way over to peek over Geto’s shoulder and see for himself if his nose was lying to him or not, but it hadn’t been. It really was him. Satoru’s eyes locked with Yuuta’s already wide ones when it really should have been the other way round.

 

Yuuta had been born while Satoru himself had just been a kid, albeit one who’d already earned a name for himself due to his resistance. He’d heard murmurs of what had happened in passing and it hadn’t taken him long to confirm them.

 

No one spoke to him directly and he’d been separated from his mother for years. Attachments weren’t ideal when Satoru would be sent to live with an owner and his mother would never leave until she’d ultimately be put down once she could no longer produce children. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now, Satoru was almost glad he’d been ‘fixed’ to ensure he wouldn’t ever live the male counterpart of that miserable existence.

 

Instead of the usual rigorous medical attention cubs received so they’d live to be profitable, Satoru had found the small litter placed in the children’s feeding area instead of the nursery they should have been in. The reason for why had pieced itself together before him in the form of either missing tails or human ears.

 

Half hybrids were a mistake in every sense of the word.

 

Handlers often took advantage of the pretty or particularly pitiful hybrids, sure in themselves both because hybrids weren’t allowed to speak and because the chances of conception were low. Possible, but statistically unlikely. The litter in front of him though had apparently beaten the odds.

 

Even at the time, Satoru had known no one would look after the litter. He and everyone else there had more problems and pain than they could deal with, but Satoru was alone and so were his half siblings.

 

He stole milk whenever he had the chance, would be caught and shocked over and over for it some of the time. He’d claim it was because the canned slop was disgusting so they wouldn’t go after the cubs. It was foolish and reckless. He’d known that then and other hybrids would send him pitying looks, but he hadn’t stopped.

 

In the end, no matter his efforts, Yuuta had been the only one to survive. He knew it wasn’t his fault, that he couldn’t make the food they’d needed, that he’d been a kid himself, that he wasn’t able to be there at all hours because of how he’d be dragged away for training, but almost all of them had died. Maybe it would have been better if he’d just left them so their suffering wouldn’t have been so drawn out.

 

Yuuta had slowly grown under Satoru’s care and the handlers had been shocked that even one had survived. Satoru having a younger brother only lasted for around five or six years. It was hard to tell time, but one day, Satoru returned from training to find Yuuta gone. For the first time in months, a hybrid had approached him themselves and told him the handlers had taken him. That it was useless to search and he couldn’t do a thing about it.

 

Satoru only saw him in passing a few times a year after that. It seemed like Yuuta had been assigned to janitor duty as free labor since he couldn’t be sold. Then once again, he’d completely disappeared and Satoru had assumed the worst had happened.

 

Yet it was Yuuta standing at Geto’s door without a shadow of a doubt, a mailing box in hand, his human ears a perfect disguise, and the huge backpack he wore sure to be cover for his tail. There were other signs, of course. The way the pink of his nails turned to white in a gradient instead of a straight line despite the human cut of them, and the way his pupils had narrowed in what Satoru could only assume to be shock.

 

Somehow, despite all odds, Yuuta was free.

 

Yuuta glanced at Satoru as Geto signed the paper, his gray eyes bleeding with worry and panic, yet Satoru couldn’t say a thing to comfort him. Instead, Satoru leaned down to lay his cheek on Geto’s shoulder as if relaxing onto the human in an attempt to show Yuuta that things were okay.

 

As if Geto could somehow read Satoru’s wishes, the human just huffed out a little laugh and scratched at Satoru’s ears before he went back to his papers. His human was safe and forgiving. Any other handler would have thrown Satoru across the room for his audacity.

 

Yuuta handed over the package to Geto with shaking hands. The kid really had only become lankier with age and Satoru could only hope he was finding enough to eat and had somewhere safe to sleep. Either way, he was surviving and had even found a job by some miracle. Satoru couldn’t help but smile a little. Despite all his inadequacies, despite how he’d failed Yuuta’s siblings, it had been worth it. His little brother was free.

 

Words bubbled up and clogged themselves within Satoru’s throat. He wished with everything he had that he could tell Yuuta just how well Geto was taking care of him. That he’d had his first dessert just minutes ago. That his human was unbearably merciful and had even taken away the bed that had threatened Satoru in his room. If he could, he’d tell Yuuta about it all even if he wouldn’t say a word about how he wanted to stay and help Geto recover, no matter the cost. He’d always longed for freedom, no matter how impossible, but staying with Geto would be worth it. His human had to live and eventually smile from the bottom of his heart.

 

Instead of leaving, Yuuta pulled out a battered phone from his pocket, and began to type on it in silence before he showed the screen to them, words written across it.

 

When did you get a hybrid? You don’t seem the type.

 

Satoru’s heart sank as he glanced at the turtle neck Yuuta wore. Satoru had been lucky to keep his vocal chords when so many hybrids had theirs taken for one reason or another. It didn’t surprise Satoru, but it wasn’t fair. Yuuta had always been a quiet kid in the first place even though Satoru had made sure he’d be able to talk and read. Yuuta wouldn’t have given them reason to cruelly rip them away, but since when had they ever needed one? Sometimes they did it just to ensure silence in even the most well behaved of hybrids to calm their nerves. And sometimes… sometimes they did it to the ones with the worst stories to tell.

 

For one reason or another, they’d permanently silenced Yuuta.

 

Geto smiled awkwardly at Yuuta’s question. “I’m not, but I was recommended a therapy one and my insurance covered it. They’ve always seemed a bit too human for me, but I think my therapist was right. Satoru’s great.”

 

Instead of taking the answer and leaving, Yuuta continued to type on his phone. Shouldn’t that have been enough for Yuuta to know Satoru would be okay? Maybe Geto was a good human, but any risk wasn’t worth it. Not when Yuuta had made it.

 

Too human?

 

Shit. Yuuta was pushing too hard. Satoru risked signing something behind Suguru’s line of sight. With the training they received in the case of being assigned as service hybrids to mute humans, they’d received sign language lessons. That being said, most hybrids began speaking in sign before any training due to it being the most common language among them. The handlers usually didn’t mind very much.

 

“ I’m safe here,” Satoru signed, his fingers stiff from the months he’d spent trapped in those mitts, but the movement still came back to him the same way he imagined spoken words would if he dared open his mouth again.

 

Yuuta’s gaze darted to Satoru’s hands, and despite the lack of a reaction, he already knew the message had been received. They’d been taught to act as if dumb animals, after all. They’d learned to bury any hint of recognition.

 

“Yeah, it’s always creeped me out a little. I’m still getting used to Satoru, if I’m being honest. I know it sounds ridiculous,” Geto started. Satoru blinked in surprise as he turned to see his human’s expression better. Maybe that was why Geto had been treating him so kindly. “I just keep rambling out loud to myself because I feel like he needs an explanation even though I know he can’t understand what I’m saying.”

 

That must make it hard to treat him like a pet then, right?

 

This was all Satoru’s fault. His old rebellious streaks had probably rubbed off on Yuuta even if he’d never encouraged it in his brother.

 

“I just have to remind myself it wouldn’t be fair to assume human things of Satoru. I could hurt him by accident if I did that, so I’m doing what I can to understand what he wants and needs through his cues,” Geto answered. If Satoru had heard those words just a few weeks ago, he’d have thought them nothing but lies bordering on lunacy, but now he couldn’t even be entirely shocked. Geto was far too kind even though Satoru wished he’d just stop and heal. “Like his ears perk up when he’s happy or curious and his tail might twitch if he’s anxious. It’s getting easier to figure out what he needs.”

 

Yuuta nodded, though nothing about the look in his eyes seemed to trust a word Geto had just said. Satoru couldn’t blame him, either. Humans weren’t like Geto.

 

Yuuta almost began to type another question before he faltered and instead gave one final nod as an end to their conversation. Satoru could almost melt in relief. Coming into contact with more humans than necessary was already a risk for Satoru, but for Yuuta who’d escaped against all odds? The less contact he made with them, the better.

 

Satoru only got one final glimpse of Yuuta before Geto closed the door. A split second of near pained longing before the outside was cut off once again and Satoru was sure to rarely if ever see him again.

 

At least Yuuta was alive. Satoru had thought just that would be everything he could ever ask for, but Yuuta had managed to surpass even Satoru’s wildest wishes.

 

“Huh. I wonder why you were okay with him?” Suguru muttered as he absentmindedly scratched Satoru’s head. “You avoid people like the plague which I get, but… Is it because he’s young? I can’t imagine finding him threatening at all. He must be mute, though. God, I can’t imagine all the people who must give him hell for it…”

 

Satoru almost breathed a sigh of relief. Geto had already landed on an answer he seemed to deem rational, so things were fine. He wouldn’t try to think of every possibility and somehow stumble upon the truth.

 

The rest of the night passed slowly as Geto kept the TV on for Satoru, first almost starting a bird video before he muttered something about Satoru possibly getting excited and breaking the TV by lunging at it. For a split second, the blood had drained from Satoru’s face at that even being a possibility Suguru had thought about, before he calmed himself again. Geto just moved on to finding something else as if the mere thought wasn’t reason enough to punish Satoru over and over again until his owner wouldn’t even have to worry about such a thing.

 

By the end, Geto started the first anime he’d come across, mumbling something about bright colors. While Satoru couldn’t tear his attention away from the screen and what was happening across it, his mind continued to slip in thought. He’d really seen Yuuta for the first time in years. The stories about some hybrids managing freedom through anything other than death really had been true. Yuuta had a job and wasn’t wearing a collar around his neck. He had a phone and could type entire sentences on it.

 

As night fell, Geto slipped the protective knit gloves onto Satoru’s hands as usual, but told him he was allowed to roam the house. He also said something about Satoru being naturally nocturnal, which was true, but the handlers didn’t like that side of felines so Satoru had long ago learned how to ignore his own natural sleeping time if need be.

 

Usually, Satoru would have just slept in his room with the door open so he’d be able to hear Geto better, but instead, he waited and forced himself to stay awake. There was no guarantee of anything happening, but he had to be sure. He didn’t go back to his room where there weren’t any windows. All the windows they had were the ones in the front that overlooked the street, every other side of Geto’s home blocked off by other apartments.

 

Footsteps outside.

 

Satoru’s ears perked up as he crept to the window and dared to pull away the blinds in order to look out. Three figures loitered outside, one knelt down as they marked something onto the sidewalk with spray paint. Two wore large backpacks while the other had a hoodie pulled over their head despite the late spring’s warm temperature.

 

Satoru tapped against the window and the one with a hoodie whipped around to point in his direction. They had to be hiding hybrid ears underneath the covering.

 

One of the figures bounded over and Satoru couldn’t help but smile as he realized it was Yuuta, his running clumsy and off-balanced because of the backpack which was restricting his tail. He’d even found friends along with freedom, and Satoru couldn’t be happier for him.

 

Yuuta’s hands moved in a flurry of motion. “Are you really safe here? I know you wanted to reassure me, but…”

 

“He’s kind,” Satoru signed back. He almost hesitated as he did so, that word preposterous to assign to a human in his thoughts, let alone in conversation. “I didn’t know a human could be until now.”

 

Yuuta furrowed his brows at Satoru’s words. He wouldn’t believe himself either. “You haven’t been here long. I would have smelled you. He’ll change.”

 

Hopefully. 

 

Hopefully, Geto would change into the way a human was supposed to act, but Satoru couldn’t tell Yuuta that. Yuuta wouldn’t understand just how much Geto needed him or how precious his smiles were.

 

“He turned my shock collar off,” Satoru dared to sign, the idea so preposterous he repositioned his collar to make sure the prongs were still touching his skin. He had to be ready for when Geto would turn it on again. “He somehow figured out how horrible that canned food is and has been giving me human food instead. I just found out why humans like dessert so much today.”

 

Somehow, Yuuta’s expression only crumpled with each reassurance Satoru gave him, but it was all the truth. Or maybe… Maybe Yuuta’s life had improved so much that he believed such acts of kindness and mercy to be commonplace in the way it was for humans. Satoru could only hope it was the second. Satoru would never escape, but his little brother deserved the world.

 

It was Satoru’s turn to ask questions, and he continued to sign. “How did you escape? You’re free now, right? Got a human job and everything.”

 

“We did,” Yuuta started with a small smile. We. He must have teamed up with his friends. “And we’re —”

 

Yuuta’s hands stopped moving as a girl approached and tapped him on the shoulder. Satoru almost winced at the burn marks that covered her body. A shock collar wouldn’t be capable of such a thing, but since she was half, Satoru didn’t imagine they’d be concerned about whether their punishments and torture would show or not.

 

“Time’s up. Repairs for CCTV will be here soon. Wrap it up,” she signed. Her claws shone in the streetlamp light and it all made sense. With the hoodie that rose too high over her head and the scars that littered her body, it would be hopeless to even try to pretend at being human.

 

Yuuta nodded and pressed one of his hands against the window’s pane as if trying to reach Satoru, but less than an inch of invisible glass separated them even as Satoru pressed his hand over Yuuta’s. No warmth leaked through the barrier and if Satoru closed his eyes, it would be as if Yuuta wasn’t right in front of him, but it was the best they could do. As long as Yuuta could be happy, then Satoru would be as well.

 

The small group soon ran away, and only minutes later, a small repair truck pulled over to fix whatever they’d done to the cameras in the area. Satoru withdrew from his window as soon as a human stepped out of the car, no desire to be seen.

 

Even as questions swirled in Satoru’s head, he curled up on the couch to sleep. Yuuta was finally living instead of simply surviving, and if what he’d said about noticing if Satoru had arrived earlier, then there was a chance they’d see each other again, even if for only a few seconds while Geto retrieved a package. That would be more than enough.

 

Notes:

so approximately 99% of you were correct that it was yuuta lol (i am very predictable) i promise this side plot thread will be expanded on more but it needs some time to build and marinate

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 13: A Thick Barrier

Suguru pinned on the service hybrid label to Satoru’s collar, the idea of it all so strange to him. Of course Satoru was a therapy hybrid, Suguru would have never gotten him otherwise, but service hybrids were for actually disabled people, right? Suguru wasn’t —

 

Dishes used to pile up in the sink. He wouldn’t be able to get out of bed or eat. He’d been forced to work from home for years now in order to keep a job. In short, he was unable to do many basic things, which was the literal definition of disabled.

 

He really had to stop living in denial.

 

Suguru checked his bag again for the millionth time that morning. He usually went out with nothing but his phone in his pocket along with a wallet, but he had Satoru this time and he wasn’t sure what the hybrid could need while out. Tissues in the case of a stuffy nose or any messes? Check. Satoru’s stim ball because he could get anxious around so many people? He had that as well. Snacks in case Satoru got hungry even though they’d already eaten? Those were packed too.

 

Shoko was right. He really was turning into a full on cat dad. He may as well fill out adoption papers for Satoru with the way things were going.

 

Satoru continued to brush against him and kept his long, fluffy tail curled around some part of Suguru as he hesitated by the door. Finally, he opened it and the sun streamed through.

 

It didn’t take long for Satoru to slow as they made their way out and to the car, so Suguru slowed and let Satoru drink in the sun. He’d heard of hybrid specific parks, and if the way Satoru basked in the sunlight and how both his tail and ears had perked up happily was anything to go by, he’d have to take Satoru to one as soon as he possibly could. Unlike Suguru, Satoru wasn’t meant for the indoors, but the outside instead so he could run and even just lounge in the sun like how regular large cats would.

 

Suguru only noticed the new graffiti on their sidewalk by the time they finally made their way into the car. He hadn’t seen anything like it around the neighborhood he’d somehow managed to find a reasonably priced apartment in, and he could only hope it wasn’t some gang marking. Chances were, it was just some stupid teenager trying to get a thrill.

 

It wasn’t until Suguru was driving did he realize that Satoru had buckled himself in, but Suguru shook away the uncanniness of it all. Hybrids were smart animals, and he could swear Satoru picked up on far more than he was supposed to. If anything, it almost seemed like Satoru knew exactly where they were going even though it was impossible since he couldn’t understand human speech.

 

Suguru slightly rolled down Satoru’s window by only an inch and Satoru jerked away from surprise before he leaned toward it again. Air flew through the small gap as Suguru drove, and Satoru seemed to be very confused on whether he liked it or not, before he finally placed his hand around the area to feel the wind flow through his fingers.

 

He only had time for quick glances, but Satoru’s nails seemed to be regrowing well. Some white had begun to grow in the gradient way hybrid claws worked and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Despite Satoru’s jumpiness that could very well never go away due to his past, his anxiety had to be waning. Suguru’s knit gloves wouldn’t be able to stop everything if the hybrid became determined enough. Apparently, he’d even managed such a thing with those barbaric mitts Suguru had thrown away.

 

Suguru parked in front of the same hybrid store he’d bought Satoru’s first stash of toys, food, and clothes from, and led Satoru to the doors, leash in hand but the length of it completely slack with the way Satoru nearly pressed himself directly against Suguru. The cashier inside seemed to be the only one there, but Suguru didn’t say anything about Satoru’s behavior. If he’d gone through even a fraction of what he suspected Satoru had, he’d never leave his apartment again.

 

Well, not like ‘never’ would be saying much with his suicidal tendencies. He’d give himself three days maximum after that trauma before he’d end it all.

 

With those uplifting thoughts, Suguru grabbed a plastic shopping basket and led Satoru to the clothes section of the store. With all the styles available, Suguru would have never guessed he was in a hybrid pet store if it weren’t for the tail cut outs. Some people had very little care for what their hybrid wore so long as they were clothed, while others liked their hybrid to match them or be dressed up for events. Suguru wouldn’t be surprised if there was some luxury hybrid outlet for the wealthy who’d show their pets off.

 

Suguru led Satoru over to a display with shorts and guided the hybrid to feel the fabric of each one as he gauged his reaction. Satoru seemed to have an idea what was going on, and Suguru could only be thankful to the manuel for outlining how to cue a hybrid to pick what they preferred most by holding up two things side by side and waiting for them to point.

 

As they made their way through the clothing section, Suguru soon found that Satoru seemed to favor loose shorts but tighter pants. Blue eyes sparkled with wonder each time Suguru let him pick another item as if the hybrid couldn’t believe what was happening. If he’d known Satoru would have such an obvious preference in what he wore, Suguru would have taken him on a shopping trip earlier. The poor baby had probably never been allowed to pick out his own clothes before in his life. Not with that cost cutting facility Suguru was beginning to daydream of committing arson against.

 

Satoru seemed to still love the clothes when Suguru had the hybrid try them on. If anything, he could barely stop smiling with the way Satoru was so obviously trying to show off in them. By the time they walked away from the clothes area, Suguru’s shopping basket had become much heavier with every clothing item. They could buy normal shirts elsewhere since Satoru didn’t have anything special on his back.

 

“You do still need a proper bed…” Suguru mused to himself as they entered an aisle full of hybrid beds in various sizes, colors, and shapes. Satoru’s eyes lit up as he tentatively reached out to feel the soft and fluffy fabric of one of them. His ears perked up and Suguru smiled. “We’ve just got to find your favorite.”

 

Satoru slowly got on one, looking back at Suguru every few seconds for permission, and began a testing pattern. Satoru would crawl on one, roll around a few times as if to test how it would feel from every angle, and then stretch in a way that would make Suguru wonder if Satoru’s bones were made of elastic. At least Satoru was getting comfortable. He deserved an actual bed he could sleep in.

 

Without warning, Satoru’s hand shot forward to tug at Suguru’s wrist as the hybrid looked up at him with sparkling blue eyes, begging him to try out what had to be his favorite bed. Satoru tugged again as he wore a giant smile on his face.

 

“Okay, okay. You win,” Suguru laughed as he followed Satoru and let himself tumble into the bed beside him. Satoru’s tail wrapped around one of Suguru’s legs as he landed into what felt like a cloud of softness.

 

He couldn’t help but wonder what Satoru’s laugh would sound like if the hybrid had one, because that’s surely what he’d be doing if only he had a voice. Instead, a dazzling smile nearly split Satoru’s face as he nuzzled Suguru and scented him as if claiming Suguru as his. As if Suguru was safe enough to Satoru that he’d invited him to lay down in a bed of all things.

 

Despite the flinches and trained fear, Satoru saw him as someone safe, didn’t he? Burning pain pierced Suguru’s heart, decent food and the less than bare minimum care enough for Satoru to trust him wholeheartedly. It wasn’t like the hybrid could ever understand that night with the shock collar had been an accident.

 

Satoru had been starved for love, but that would change with Suguru. He’d do everything he could to shower Satoru with it so he’d never have to beg for scraps of affection again.

 

Once they finished trying out the bed, Suguru took a picture of it along with the item number to check out once they finished the rest of their shopping. With the loose structure, it would probably fit in the car so long as they folded it.

 

Satoru’s eyes bugged out the second Suguru led him to the toy aisle for hybrids. Colorful trinkets and items lined the shelves as Satoru stood frozen in place.

 

“I can only get you three, but pick something,” Suguru murmured as he nudged Satoru forward to tear through the aisle. He could only hope he wouldn’t have to spend too long cleaning up after the hybrid as he watched Satoru dash from one toy to the next with his bushy tail perked up.

 

Suguru watched as Satoru poked at a toy that had a few wooden balls trapped within tracks. If Satoru’s attention remained piqued with it, then it would be a great pick. It could help the hybrid use his fingers more after however long he’d been trapped inside mitts.

 

A squeak.

 

Satoru’s ears stood on end as he whipped around to face Suguru and the squeaky toy mouse he’d accidentally bumped against. So this was how he was going to die. By Satoru scrambling over to tear apart a rubber mouse and shove Suguru aside in the process.

 

All in all, not a particularly bad way to go.

 

Instead of throwing Suguru across the aisle, Satoru gingerly reached around him to poke at the toy. Another squeak and his tail swished behind him. Suguru had the feeling that would become a very common sound in the apartment as he deposited one rubber mouse into the shopping basket along with the earlier puzzle toy Satoru had poked at.

 

Lastly, Satoru brought him a plushie of a black cat with soft brown eyes. Suguru’s heart melted as he placed the final item into the basket. He’d seen Satoru at night a few times before and the hybrid loved to hug the plushie he already had while sleeping. Maybe Satoru would amass a small army of them one day.

 

Satoru stuck by Suguru’s side as he checked out with his tail curled around Suguru’s leg while the tip of it flicked back and forth nervously. It would only be a few minutes more now that they’d loaded Satoru’s bed into the back of the car.

 

“I can’t help but notice you seem to have a very happy hybrid, even if he is a little nervous right now,” the lady at the register remarked as she checked them out. “You must have had him for a while.”

 

“No?” Suguru started. He wasn’t sure where that had come from. “I’ve only had him for about three weeks now.”

 

The woman’s eyes widened as she glanced at Satoru again, and then to the tail that encircled Suguru’s leg. “I’ve seen a lot of hybrids working here, so I know most of them are scared and jumpy when newly adopted. They’re so smarter than most animals, so I imagine it’s harder to bond with us. There’s so many new things and people they haven’t come across while raised at those facilities.”

 

“It is a whole new world for them,” Suguru agreed with her, even if the words felt as though lies on his tongue. It wasn’t just Satoru, then. Businesses were never good, especially ones who would turn a blind eye to Satoru’s obvious signs of abuse, but if it was such a common occurrence that she’d felt comfortable assuming he’d had Satoru for a while…

 

“I’ve always wanted a hybrid instead of a regular pet, but they’re too expensive and I’m lucky enough to not qualify to get one for medical reasons. I’ve been working here for years now to at least be around them and help out. I do wonder why I’ve always been turned down at the facilities where they’re raised. I met all the qualifications and I love hybrids more than anything else…”

 

A business who turned a blind eye to abuse in favor of results wouldn’t want love. A place who claimed collars that caused burns would only administer a small shock would abhor even decency. A system that produced hybrids who were routinely terrified of humans…

 

Suguru pushed the thought away. He couldn’t do anything even if it was all true and the what-ifs would tear through his mind if he didn’t do away with them.

 

There was nothing a nobody like him could do. Nothing.

 

They left the shop, the woman at the register waving after them and saying she hoped to see Satoru again. The rest of their shopping went nearly as Suguru suspected it would. An employee at one of the general stores almost denied Satoru entry due to no hybrid policies until he saw the markings on Satoru’s collar that identified him as a service hybrid, and Satoru stuck close by as Suguru picked up groceries. If it weren’t for the late summer heat, he’d have left Satoru in the car and away from people, but it hadn’t been an option.

 

It was stupid, but Suguru picked up a graphic t-shirt for Satoru that had a character from the anime Suguru had been letting play for Satoru. Digimon, if he was remembering correctly. After holding it up to Satoru to make sure it would fit, he dumped it into their cart.

 

If the way Satoru’s eyes sparkled had anything to say, then the colors had to be to his liking, if hybrids even had favorites. Maybe the shirt was more for Suguru to find cute on Satoru, but if Satoru liked it as well, then that was all that mattered.

Notes:

so sorry about not updating yesterday. i really haven't been doing well, very possibly due to stress over a few things plus even worse sleep than usual, and yesterday i actually left the house to go do something fun only for that to backfire on my body and mind as well honestly. hopefully i'll update tomorrow, but i'm going to try to do the healthy thing and take it easy if that's what i need to do. which i'm realizing is a concerning sign with my writing tendencies since i never do that. if i don't update tomorrow, i'll make a post on my twitter about it (@JediGlue). i know this sounds silly, but comments really help keep me going so they'd be super appreciated. i think i only write as much as i do because of them and the push they give me to keep going

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 14: Even in This Dream

Concern dampened the happiness that bubbled up within Satoru as Geto led him outside again just days after their shopping trip. Dark shadows marred Geto’s eyes, and while Satoru’s new bed eased him into the best sleep he’d ever gotten, he jolted awake every single time Geto got up or even moved around his room. Geto had hardly been sleeping even by human standards.

 

“I’ve heard there’s a hybrid park around here. I think you’ll like it since you love being outside…” Geto murmured to himself, and Satoru looked away before his eyes could widen even the smallest fraction from surprise.

 

He’d never heard of such a place, but it wasn’t right for Geto to take him. The human was exhausted and it showed in everything he did. From the way he took frequent breaks while typing and sought out Satoru himself to cuddle as he tried to rest for just a few minutes but to no avail. Not even Satoru’s purring could make Geto finally sleep.

 

It couldn’t help that Geto was being so kind to him. He’d already done more than Satoru had ever dreamed of by going out to buy Satoru a wonderful hybrid bed, clothes he actually liked, and toys on top of everything else. Yet Satoru couldn’t stop his human from being so painfully kind. Instead, all he could do was hold the cat plushie at night he’d picked out because of how it resembled his owner so and hope that Geto would heal.

 

Humans loved inflicting pain on things they saw as beneath them, so just why was Geto refusing to choose happiness? Why was he gifting such a thing to Satoru at his own expense?

 

Why?

 

Satoru had to stop him, if he was allowed to speak then he’d beg for Suguru to allow himself to recover by using him, but he couldn’t. All he could do was keep an eye on the human in case he tried to end it all and purr whenever petted. It wasn’t enough.

 

Geto parked the car in front of a mesh fence low, the holes on it so wide Satoru could see things near perfectly on the other side. A huge grass field lay beyond it with a small creek, a section of trees, and several benches that humans sat on. All sorts of hybrids ran around inside and Satoru’s jaw dropped.

 

Geto just laughed a little in that gentle way of his that never felt mocking and led Satoru inside before he unclipped the leash from his collar. Satoru could only stare at him in shock. It was more than he expected for Geto to always keep the leash so slack it felt as more a suggestion or accessory than a bind, but for it to be off completely while in public…

 

“Go on,” Geto encouraged Satoru with a soft smile as he gently nudged him ahead. “Go play, be with other hybrids, whatever you want. Just have fun.”

 

Satoru took a hesitant step forward and looked back at Geto, just for the human to nod at him. One step turned into two, then two into three. Despite the shoes Satoru wore, he could almost feel just how soft the grass grew beneath his feet and the sticks that would bend or snap when he’d step on them. Sunlight streamed down and warmed his skin in a way that promised a truly languid and lazy nap. He’d never heard of a hybrid park before, but he was starting to think it was heaven on earth despite the owners who sat on benches along the side lines.

 

Only a shadow of fear tugged at Satoru’s heart because of them. If anything happened, then Geto would come over and — And what? Save him was the immediate answer even though Satoru tried to shake such a ridiculous notion away. If Geto joined in, maybe Satoru would still be relieved because it would mean his human was finally taking his first steps to heal with the help of some extra encouragement.

 

No leash dangled from his neck, and Geto, after realizing Satoru had no intention of letting anything come between the metal prongs of the shock collar and his skin, had taken the collar and destroyed its main function by gluing plastic to the prongs.

 

Satoru could be free. His nails had nearly grown back to an almost acceptable length and nothing obstructed his hands. He could make a run for it, pull himself over the flimsy fence that surrounded them, and tear off his collar. No one would be able to shock him or track him down. He could find Yuuta either by slinking around Geto’s apartment since he seemed to be a regular mail carrier or leave a message under the strange graffiti marking Yuuta had made.

 

It would be so easy.

 

Satoru glanced back at Geto, his human sitting on a bench as he read one of his books. He’d been the one to trust Satoru to not run off. He’d showered him with more kindness than Satoru knew what to do with all while he suffered. Something sad, almost pained, never left his human’s eyes even though everyone claimed Satoru was making him so much better.

 

His human would die if Satoru left. He’d give up on life and it would all be Satoru’s fault. He couldn’t leave him.

 

A rabbit hybrid bumped Satoru’s shoulder in ‘passing’, but just that was enough for Satoru to glance around them to find no humans watching save for where most of them had congregated together behind the two of them.

 

“I’ve never seen you here before. Did you move here?” the hybrid signed as both Satoru and she positioned themselves to block sight of their hands from anyone passing by. 

 

Satoru shook his head. “I was bought a few weeks ago. I think my owner just found out about these parks. I didn’t know they existed.”

 

The hybrid’s nose twitched as she smelled him, but she seemed perfectly relaxed even though she was a bunny hybrid. They tended to be anxious and on edge, but her black ears stayed down, the ends of them blending into her long hair.

 

“A few weeks ago?” she asked, disbelief in her brown eyes. “It’s obvious you’ve been scenting him with how you have human just about radiating from you. And you don’t seem on edge enough for it to be from… Well, I don’t think most of those unfortunate hybrids get brought here.”

 

“It’s the truth. He’s way too kind to be a human. I’m scared it might be hurting him because humans aren’t like that,” he signed back. He tried not to think of the human bed that had been in his room for so long, the obvious threat dangled over him at all times.

 

It would be so incredibly easy to believe Geto really hadn’t known as he’d claimed. He had no reason to lie to himself when people outside didn’t know hybrids could understand them. He couldn’t even imagine Geto doing that anymore, but hope wasn’t a good thing. Not when it had been shattered for him time and time again.

 

“Humans out here are a lot kinder. My owner bought me because she was lonely after all her kids left for university. She’s right over there. The one knitting,” the hybrid said as she nodded to one of the benches to the back right of them. A middle aged woman smiled as she watched the two of them, her knitting left sitting on her lap unattended. “She only uses the shock collar on me when I’ve stepped out of line and sometimes she buys me fresh vegetables instead of the regular canned stuff. She even brings me to the park every day. I think she treats me more like a stand-in for her children than a pet. Judging by your collar, your owner got you because they’re disabled? What’s that like?”

 

“He’s amazing,” Satoru signed with a smile. Sure, maybe her owner took her to the park everyday, but Geto was still better. “I’m concerned for him because he’s always so sad and can be a danger to himself, but he’s super smart. He managed to figure out that the canned food is all bullshit. He’s been feeding me human food since. I… I think it helps him make meals for himself too if I’m eating what he is, though he shouldn’t have gotten rid of all the canned food. He gets tired very easily but can’t sleep even by human standards. He’s the one with long hair reading a book.”

 

“He what!” the hybrid signed, her fingers sharply moving in shock. “I haven’t heard of a human who’s figured that out. Does he have mood swings though?”

 

“I think he will eventually, but he hasn’t had one yet,” Satoru responded. Bipolar. He’d learned about so many disorders in training and the handlers had stressed over and over again about the different episodes humans with it could have. Of how they should be happy to help their human through them whether it was to nudge them to take a shower after forgetting for too long or to take a beating to help release pent up emotions. Despite the dread that crept through Satoru, he almost hoped it would be the second one. Geto already neglected himself far too much, so maybe if he just let it all out on Satoru, then he’d finally feel a little better. “I’m just concerned about him. I don’t think he’d even be eating without me.”

 

The other hybrid nodded in thought. “The humans outside the facilities are usually very different. I think that’s why there’s barely been any of us who’s tried to escape while here. I’ve only seen it once, but that hybrid was covered in bruises, so his owner must have been a little strict. But this is a hybrid park…”

 

“... Which means all the humans here are going out of their way for us,” Satoru finished for her. He hadn’t known there could be so many kind humans, though his was still the best without a shadow of a doubt, but they did live in a huge city. There’d always be a few exceptions.

 

Satoru’s ears twitched as footsteps approached them, and the two of them turned to find the rabbit hybrid’s owner approaching. Ice-like fear shot down Satoru’s spine, but he forced himself to stay still. The human could get mad and blame it on her own hybrid if Satoru bolted.

 

“Awe, you made a little friend, didn’t you Chiyoko?” the lady cooed as she clipped the leash onto her collar. “I think I remember who he came in with, so I’ll go talk to his owner. Maybe you two can have playdates here since you’re so social.”

 

Satoru watched the two walk away. Even if a little demeaning, Chiyoko’s owner seemed nice. It wasn’t like she knew either of them were intelligent, though as much as Satoru would miss the sun and open air around him, maybe it would be better if Geto turned down the woman and decided to never come to the park again. The kindness and energy it took to bring Satoru to such a place had to pain his human.

 

Yet Geto seemed to be having a conversation with the woman when Satoru glanced back. His human’s smile looked fake, though. Not as if he was pasting it on to hide his dislike, but not genuine like the small smiles he sometimes wore for a brief second when he’d find Satoru particularly amusing or cute.

 

Satoru wandered around the park to map it out in his head and memorize every sensation there was in the outdoors. He had to treat it like his last outing since Geto could very well decide taking Satoru out wasn’t worth his precious energy.

 

Movement as Satoru walked through the small area of trees.

 

A bird had landed on a branch and was preening its feathers, none the wiser to Satoru. His tail swished back and forth as he calculated the exact distance and angle he’d need to pounce at.

 

It flapped its wings and Satoru couldn’t take it anymore. He pounced.

 

Small fangs sunk into delicious meat as Satoru caught it. His ears perked up as bird blood trickled into his mouth. His own always tasted coppery, but from a bird… It was just almost as good as Geto’s cooking, though it did settle an itch inside him he’d never completely noticed until now. It put the toy imitations of the actual hunt to shame.

 

He’d actually done it. Satoru almost dropped the bird from how he just almost smiled in bone deep satisfaction. He could bring it back to Geto so he could start to repay him for all the delicious human food he gave Satoru. It wasn’t fair Geto was tiring himself out every single day in order to feed Satoru, but he finally had proof he could do that instead of his human. He could —

 

Satoru froze. Humans didn’t like raw birds. His feline side had taken over and Geto would think he was disgusting for holding a dead bird in his mouth.

 

Satoru shakily dropped the bird into his hands, the feathers of it stained with blood. Humans only liked birds when they were alive. They even kept some as pets. What had Satoru done?

 

Footsteps drew near and Satoru tried not to shake as his heart hammered within his chest. He knew the scent even if it was behind him. Maybe Geto’s natural one was almost taken over with Satoru’s now, but it was him.

 

He’d been bad. He’d just killed something Geto would want alive. He’d just embarrassed his owner for his unruly hybrid who’d stooped to his animal instincts.

 

“What’ve you got, Satoru?” Geto began as he scratched Satoru behind the ears. His gentle hands would turn harsh soon as he’d pull his hair for what Satoru had done. What he was already seeing.

 

Geto sighed and ice washed down Satoru’s spine. He deserved whatever punishment came his way for disappointing Geto. He’d take it and be good.

 

Geto instead just pet Satoru’s head one more time before he flopped down on the grass. “May as well eat it, I guess. I didn’t read any rules about no hunting in the park.”

 

Satoru looked back down at the bird in his hands. He could eat it? It looked better than perfect to him, but he knew humans didn’t see it the same way. He’d be sloppy while eating it and nothing more than an animal just like his handlers had always said he’d been. What if Geto sneered at him as they always did whenever any of his instincts or feline behaviors would pop up?

 

Another glance at Geto who only nodded encouragingly at Satoru.

 

Satoru gave in. It was a pain to not get any feathers in his mouth, but more than worth it with the fresh meat. He’d caught it all by himself. He wouldn’t let himself do it again, not when it wasn’t allowed, so he tried to savor the feeling of being able to provide for himself once in his life.

 

Blood stained Satoru’s hands and he could only imagine his face looked the same. Geto wouldn’t find him cute. The human wouldn’t even touch him and —

 

“Stay still,” Geto instructed as he pulled a wet wipe from his bag and began to clean up Satoru’s mouth then fingers. Red stained the wipe yet Geto just smiled at him in that way where he’d close his eyes at the same time. Maybe the human had learned the behavior from his friend who spoiled her cat. “There we go. All done and clean again.”

 

Geto placed the used wipe in a small pouch within his bag and just laid in the grass, his eyes closed as the human relaxed. Maybe he’d missed the sun, too.

 

Geto hadn’t judged Satoru’s instincts the entire time despite how disgusting the human had to find it. He’d even helped him with the clean up and smiled at him. Smiled as if it was normal behavior. No jeering. No mocking. No insults.

 

His human had to be some sort of angel. People never liked any hybrid traits that weren’t cute. Sometimes the handlers would kill time by provoking Satoru with toys he’d never be able to catch until it would become too much and he’d pounce just for shame to wash over him as they’d laugh.

 

Somehow, Geto didn’t see what Satoru had done as something shameful.

 

When Satoru looked at Geto again, the human’s chest rose and fell with steady breaths. Sleeping. His human was finally sleeping at long last, and Satoru settled himself by his side. Maybe it was an accident, but either way, Geto was vulnerable the way humans always were while sleeping, and he’d trusted Satoru enough to look after him.

 

Satoru refused to let himself sleep so he could better watch out for any sort of danger or disturbance. He picked up a non-bloodied feather from the bird and placed it in Geto’s hand. Maybe humans didn’t like dead birds, but for some reason they loved their feathers, so that’s what Satoru could give him instead.

 

Hours passed and Satoru entertained himself by picking the yellow dandelions that littered the grass and placed them in Geto’s hair he’d pulled into a half-up style. The bright colors almost seemed to shine in Geto’s black hair, but instead of outdoing Geto, they only served to make him even more beautiful. His human was perfect in every way.

Notes:

don't mind me reusing chiyoko as a side character in this au. i just didn't want to come up with a different name since i plan on her returning to help show/represent how most hybrid pets live. i'd use an established character but i'm not sure if any would fit so here we are

that being said, i have not been doing well at all lately. i'm going to take a week off from this fic in hopes it'll give me some extra time to rest and even outline for the future of this fic so the plot isn't half baked as it currently is in my mind, but also to do a few things with transferring to a university and randomness that needs done. my first semester at a university instead of college starts in a few weeks and i'm super anxious about it since uni classes are harder, but hopefully it'll go well and i'll actually be taking classes in psychology now instead of required general classes!! i'm taking them because i want to become the therapist i desperately needed as a kid, but it may have a side effect of me cramming even more angst and mental instability into my fics lol

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed! (it'll just be a week off but i'll miss you all T-T)

Chapter 15: This Phantom Pain

 

Suguru blinked awake, his back sore and the sky above him dimming. What year was it? Maybe he’d passed away in his sleep and woken up in the afterlife, but if that was the case, it had been way too overhyped. Dealing with back pain after death would be a nightmare.

 

A familiar face entered his field of view as Satoru leaned over to look at him. The hybrid park, right. Suguru groaned as he began to sit up just for something to fall out of his hair. Yellow dandelions fell around his shoulders and Suguru reached up to find some still stubbornly clinging to his hair as Satoru grinned. It had to be the hybrid’s handiwork.

 

He did suppose Satoru could have gotten bored waiting for his owner to wake up, but placing flowers in his hair? That was something only humans did. Surely that was too advanced for a hybrid, yet there was no other explanation. Besides, the dandelions were bright yellow, and Satoru seemed to enjoy colors. It was probably just that and nothing more.

 

“Thank you for letting me nap,” Suguru said as he got up and scratched Satoru behind the ears. Satoru’s eyes sparkled as he leaned into the touch and didn’t even pull away when Suguru clipped the mandatory leash back onto Satoru’s collar so they could leave.

 

The two of them passed a small group of people Suguru could only assume to be homeless on the way out. With the resources the city had, no one should have to live on the streets, but at least parks were safer, especially now that it was nearing evening.

 

Suguru glanced back as Satoru, ready to calm the hybrid with soft murmured words or a head pat while they passed so many strangers, but instead of the fear Suguru expected, Satoru only looked at the group with blank eyes.

 

Maybe the group smelled like the outdoors to Satoru so they blended in? Suguru could only guess at the reasons Satoru wouldn’t buckle under anxiety as he usually did around humans, but any progress was good progress. Spending the day out and about around people who’d never hurt Satoru could have helped calm the hybrid and acted as exposure therapy.

 

Suguru almost caught himself laughing at the idea of exposure therapy when it came to a therapy hybrid. Maybe Satoru was supposed to be the one helping Suguru, but he was starting to think that just maybe he was really Satoru’s therapy human.

 

Satoru buckled himself in as he’d taken to doing and Suguru began to drive back. It was strange in a way for him to not have to reorient himself every few minutes or keep his posture ramrod straight as he drove to keep from drowsiness clouding his mind or vision. He must have slept for hours if his current awareness levels were anything to go by.

 

He glanced at Satoru, sure to see the hybrid staring out the window, only to find Satoru passed out asleep with a string of drool hanging from his mouth. Had he stayed awake the entire time at the park? Surely Satoru would have napped with him because of all the sleep cats needed, but Satoru’s sleeping form said everything he needed to know. The hybrid must have kept himself awake to watch over Suguru as he’d slept instead, as if protecting him from danger.

 

Once again, Suguru’s heart melted.

 

Despite Suguru’s best efforts to remain silent, Satoru blinked awake with blurry eyes as they parked outside Suguru’s apartment. There went his idea of carrying a sleeping Satoru inside, but it would have never been feasible in the first place. Cats weren’t heavy sleepers and Satoru was no exception.

 

Suguru had never felt so well rested after an outing as he unlocked the door and began to step inside. For the first time ever while going out, the leash Suguru held tugged. Satoru hadn’t moved from the doorstep, and Suguru followed Satoru’s gaze to where a familiar teenager was running to them, a mail carrier uniform hat on his head and his ridiculously huge backpack bouncing as he ran.

 

The kid tripped and fell face first into the ground.

 

“You okay?” Suguru started as he rushed over, dropping Satoru’s leash in the process so he could offer the boy his hand.

 

The teenager glared at him, but nodded and took the offered hand. Why exactly the usually sweet mail carrier had seemingly done a one hundred and eighty degree shift in mood was beyond Suguru, but on his list of problems, a moody local teenager was written in fine print at the very bottom.

 

The teenager handed him another small package before he pulled out his phone and began to type.

 

“You’ve been out more often. Should I give your mail to a neighbor to pick up later?”

 

Oh. He supposed he had been going out more often now that he had Satoru. Still, he shook his head.

 

“Doorstep is fine. It’s a safe neighborhood and I won’t be gone for long,” he answered. Satoru walked up to Suguru and placed the end of his leash in his hand again. Odd, but Suguru took it. Maybe it made Satoru feel a little more secure. “I was just taking Satoru out to visit one of the nearby hybrid parks.”

 

“What are those like?”  Yuuta asked immediately.

 

Suguru shrugged. “Like a normal one save for a lot of hybrids. Satoru had a lot of fun and managed to catch a bird. Are you interested in hybrids? You’ve had a lot of questions.”

 

He’d never even known the kid would care about conversing until the day he’d seen Satoru with him.

 

“Hybrids are just uncommon,” Yuuta answered as he shook his head. In other words, he definitely was even if he wouldn’t admit it. “If I was in a richer neighborhood then it would be a lot more common. But here, it’s rare.”

 

Satoru’s tail circled around one of Suguru’s legs. Honestly, it was surprising he hadn’t just gone inside so he could avoid another human.

 

“Well, Satoru seems to like you, and he can be pretty anxious around people,” Suguru started. The hybrid’s senses of who was safe and who wasn’t completely eluded Suguru. “You have any hybrid calming tricks I don’t know about?”

 

“Maybe I’m just better than you,” the teenager replied with a raised eyebrow.

 

It took everything in Suguru’s power not to burst into laughter at the sheer audacity. “Shouldn’t you be going home? Your parents will be getting worried with how late it is.”

 

The kid shot him a flat look before he showed him his phone screen again. “Trust me, they won’t be worried.”

 

Oh.

 

Suguru watched the kid turn on his heel and head to his bike. That… Well, that was sad and unfortunate. He seemed to be an odd kid, but Suguru couldn’t help the concern that tugged on his heart. Parents were supposed to look after their kids, but if what the teenager had said was true, then that obviously wasn’t the case. It was tough enough to be in school and work a job.

 

He sighed as he walked indoors and shut the door after himself and Satoru. He’d invite the disgruntled teenager for dinner, but he had the feeling that wouldn’t be a good time for either one of them.

 

Satoru napped the rest of the evening save for when Suguru woke him up for dinner. He had to be exhausted after all his running around and staying up to look after Suguru even though he would have been perfectly fine.

 

Suguru absentmindedly stroked Satoru’s head as he sat beside him on the couch, his laptop open but no work done on it. A deep, rumbling purr soon began to build in the hybrid’s chest even as he continued to sleep, and Suguru didn’t understand. Satoru was beyond precious and sweet in his every action. The hybrid had tried to keep Suguru safe in the park and had even made a hybrid friend. He put flowers in Suguru’s hair and wrapped his tail around Suguru whenever he could as if hugging him. How, just how had anyone ever hurt him to the point Satoru had panicked over catching a bird. It was a natural behavior and healthy for a feline like him. How could someone have deprived him of decent food? How could someone have hurt him over and over again until electrocution was something the hybrid just walked off?

 

How could someone ever crush something like Satoru? Had Satoru’s tears filled them with a twisted joy? Had they gloated when the hybrid would shrink away? Had they taken pleasure in how Satoru’s body seized when electricity would tear through him?

 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that even Suguru’s subpar start with Satoru had earned the hybrid’s affection.

 

Suguru reached for his phone and opened the new contact he’d added just that day. Maybe setting up a ‘playdate’ as the woman had called it for their hybrids wasn’t such a bad idea. It would give him an opportunity to find out how a non-traumatized hybrid would act and hopefully get tips on how he could make Satoru’s life the best it could be.

 

It didn’t take long for him to get a response, the woman already very excited about the idea. Something about her hybrid being very social but few owners willing to go out of their way to let their hybrids play together.

 

Suguru pressed a quick goodnight kiss to Satoru’s forehead before he got up and went to his room. As he shut the door behind him, every dreg of energy drained away as his walls finally and fully lowered. He could go out again and stay by Satoru’s side, but that wasn’t a permanent solution. If anything, it would only delay and intensify the crash he felt coming deep in his bones.

 

Usually he’d take a shower, but despite his nap, he didn’t have the energy for it. Maybe the running water would wake Satoru, but he already knew that wasn’t the real reason. He’d been mentally ill long enough to know what the start of a depressive episode looked like.

 

Suguru sighed as he walked out again and to the kitchen to begin working on the next few days’ meals. He wouldn’t have the energy, and while he only prepared things half the time when it came to himself, he couldn’t allow Satoru to go hungry.

 

A familiar fluffy tail wrapped itself around Suguru’s waist as he worked, and he turned to give Satoru a small smile as he pet the hybrid’s hair. It had to be so confusing for Satoru to see his owner preparing food late in the night.

 

“Just prepping some stuff. Go back to sleep, okay? Everything’s fine,” Suguru said, the words more for himself than Satoru. The hybrid probably only recognized the word ‘sleep’, but that did the trick to have Satoru go back to the couch.

 

Everything wouldn’t be fine if Suguru was right about his upcoming crash, but he’d make it okay for at least Satoru. Once he’d prepared easy to eat meals and put the dirty laundry through the wash, Suguru finally went back to his room.

 

He had the feeling his therapist wouldn’t like it if they knew, but he pulled out familiar notes and placed them on his desk somewhere easy to find. He had no plans of going through with things, but the him during episodes had problems thinking clearly. It was better to be prepared.

 

As he finally crashed in bed, sleep sure to elude him even though exhaustion weighed his every muscle down, he couldn’t help but hope that maybe things would be different. He wouldn’t be alone this time. He had Satoru with him, after all.

Notes:

and now we start the suguru turbo depression premium plus arc. he's finally crashed. also i really needed the break i took, but i'm back now! feeling a bit down because my younger brother (who i have a pretty good relationship with) just moved out so now it's just me still stuck at home (i have bad health issues) with my parents. this is gonna get lonely really fast, but it is what it is. i'm glad he could go, though. living at home with our parents isn't the healthiest

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 16: Remains Still

Something was wrong with Geto.

 

His dark eyes had become dull and near lifeless. His oddities from last night hadn’t stopped at meal prepped, and his human hadn’t taken his usual nightly shower. He didn’t smell bad with how Geto usually kept up his hygiene, but things weren’t right.

 

Even as they ate breakfast together, Geto moved syrupy slow and kept pausing to think over the most basic actions. It all reminded Satoru of those laggy computers he’d seen a few times when a handler would use one with him around.

 

Geto wasn’t supposed to be like that, yet there was nothing Satoru could do even as Geto opened one of the blinds in the house, mumbling something about how hopefully would like the sunlight all as he apologized.

 

Satoru hesitantly walked forward and then grinned when the sunlight hit his skin through the glass. It wasn’t the same as outside, but that barely even mattered to him anymore. He didn’t even care that there was only bare floor where the light streamed in as he lay down and stretched out, the sun a warming balm on his skin. It was better than any blanket and warmed his body just right. Maybe Geto would be happier too if he just lay with Satoru for a few hours.

 

Yet the human just smiled a little at Satoru’s obvious enjoyment and went back to the couch where he began to work. Satoru frowned, the sunlight no longer so tempting without his owner with him, but he didn’t dare move. That was the only smile Geto had worn all morning, so Satoru tried to sleep, even if extremely lightly in case Geto moved more than two inches.

 

Sometimes Satoru found himself glad for his body’s need to sleep for such long hours compared to humans and even most hybrids. The void of sleep helped pass time and kill the boredom that had always plagued him since his first memories. This time, though, Satoru could hardly keep himself asleep for more than a few seconds at a time despite the sun.

 

There was something so wrong with his human.

 

Satoru picked himself up and went back to the couch where he curled up and leaned against Geto’s side, the human warm beside him and better than any sunny window. Sleep came easier to him as he began to purr, the action barely forced because he was right beside Geto who so desperately needed what little help Satoru could give him.

 

Things only got worse as the day went on, Geto near silent the entire time unlike his usual rambling to himself Satoru had come to love instead of merely appreciate. He’d even tried not to eat until Satoru had then decided to mirror Geto’s every bite so they’d eat equally.

 

Anxiety thrummed through Satoru’s veins as that horrible word repeated itself over and over in his head. Suicide. Geto had admitted to attempting time after time after time, and what did he have to help him? A few meds? Satoru who could do nothing but pretend to be a dumb cat?

 

It wasn’t enough. Satoru wasn’t doing enough.

 

Night fell, and instead of going into the bathroom to shower as he usually did, Geto instead walked down the hall to his room. The answer to what Satoru should do was obvious. His human needed a shower and it was one of the most basic things taught during training, yet the idea of trying to force his human to do something, to push his owner…

 

Geto deserved to smile.

 

Satoru took a deep breath and went into the bathroom to take the towel Geto always used. He needed a clear way to show the human what he wanted without words. It would be worth it for Geto to shower and feel a little more like himself even though Satoru’s hands trembled as he approached Geto’s closed bedroom door. So many countless things could happen if Geto brought him in, if he decided he wanted to discipline Satoru on that human bed, but Satoru still knocked. It was his job. He was one of the very few things his owner could use to heal.

 

“Satoru?” Geto asked as he opened the door, his hair down with a touch of grease at their roots. Satoru pushed the towel into Geto’s arms as he stared down at the floor. His heart hammered in his ears.

 

“I don’t have the energy…” Geto mumbled as he pushed the towel back. “I’m sorry I smell.”

 

Satoru didn’t care about that. Geto could smell like a dumpster and he’d still love the human, but humans liked being clean. It made them feel better in the same way Satoru always felt much more refreshed after he’d groom or bathe himself.

 

Satoru shakily pushed the towel right back into Geto’s arms. Surely this would do it and send Geto over the edge. His owner’s kindness had limits even if Satoru had never deserved to be graced with such a thing.

 

“Satoru, I —”

 

Satoru finally looked up from the floor to Geto’s face as he shoved that fluffy cloth right back at him. He couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t stop the way his heart hammered in his ears or how no air seemed to reach his lungs, but just maybe if Geto saw how terrified he was then a small amount of light would return to his eyes. Humans had always loved Satoru’s panic.

 

The blood drained from Geto’s face instead.

 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Satoru. Don’t push yourself for me,” Geto murmured as he pulled Satoru into a hug and began to stroke his hair. It didn’t make sense. Humans weren’t supposed to comfort things like Satoru, but instead bask in their power over them. “I’ll take a shower, okay? I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

 

It wouldn’t even count as hurting Satoru if Geto finally snapped and did whatever he pleased to him. It would just be the human taking care of himself and using what he’d been prescribed as he was supposed to.

 

Instead of throwing Satoru against a wall or ripping the plastic covers off the metal prongs in his collar, Geto just pressed a small kiss to Satoru’s forehead and headed for the bathroom. The sound of running water soon filled the air as his human bathed and Satoru sat outside the bathroom door, straining to hear any concerning sounds that could mean Geto could be hurting himself. It would surely end with Satoru being sent back, but if Satoru had to, he knew he’d be able to break that door down if his human tried to end things. He had to keep his human alive no matter what that would mean for himself.

 

Geto came out whole and unhurt, smelling of the shampoos and soaps he always used before he disappeared into his room once again and left Satoru outside.

 

Satoru couldn’t sleep even as the night dragged on and his body begged for it. Every single creak in the apartment snapped him awake in a panic and his mind wouldn’t stop racing as he took to getting up and pacing back and forth. Geto was spiraling, yet what could Satoru do about it? Force him to eat? To bathe? Those few things wouldn’t be enough to save the human. He may as well be doing nothing.

 

A tap against the window pane and Satoru whipped around to find the blinds left open from when Geto had let in the sun for Satoru. Instead, the dark night yawned out beyond the panes along with one very familiar figure. Yuuta.

 

“We have more time,” Yuuta signed even though his hands moved in a blur of speed. It wouldn’t be as long as either of them wished for. “There’s a rescue a few blocks down, so we staged a power outage.”

 

“Rescue?” Satoru signed back in question. He glanced outside just to find that sure enough, not a single street lamp illuminated the road.

 

Yuuta nodded. “Maki, the girl I was with last time I was here, finally found her twin. But she’s at a handler’s house we had marked to be watched.”

 

Satoru tried not to wince as a cascade of memories crashed through his mind. The way he’d be shocked over and over again even if he’d done nothing wrong, the way he’d use the sheets to muffle any noise that might escape him as a handler would hurt him for their own pleasure.

 

“Satoru,” Yuuta began to sign, his fingers shaking ever so slightly, “You’ve only heard about that sort of punishment, right?”

 

Satoru didn’t answer him. It shouldn’t be a surprise he was sent home with one of those handlers with his track record. Even Yuuta had known how rebellious Satoru was and how he’d be shocked at least once a day more often than not. It had been inevitable with the way he’d resisted.

 

“I’m here now though, aren’t I?” Satoru started as he tried to smile. “You don’t have to worry about me. Geto’s kind.”

 

Yuuta’s expression soured. “I know this is better than the facility, but you’re still trapped here.”

 

“I’m worried about him,” Satoru signed. He’d already had plenty of chances to make a bolt for it, but he couldn’t. He just needed Yuuta to see why he had to stay. “He was prescribed a hybrid because he keeps attempting, Yuuta. I think he’s spiraling because he’s barely eating or saying anything at all. If I leave, he’ll die. He’ll succeed eventually and —”

 

“And he still bought you. You can’t trust those humans!” Yuuta signed, his hands a flurry of movement, but his wording caught Satoru off guard. He said it as though some humans could be trusted.

 

“Those humans?” Satoru echoed.

 

Yuuta huffed outside the window, put out and all pouty just like he used to be as a small kid. “Almost all humans, but especially those. Which hybrid park did he take you to?”

 

“I’m not sure? It was nearby and had a small patch of trees in it. Also a small artificial creek,” Satoru answered, curious to how things would tie together. Yuuta had always been smart.

 

“I think I might know which one you’re talking about,” Yuuta started. Just how much of the city’s map did he have memorized? Satoru’s life had never extended past a few closed off rooms. “Next time he takes you, look out for humans with markings on their hands. Like the one we painted on the sidewalk out here, but with a circle. They’ll help you.”

 

Satoru frowned. Had Yuuta not heard a word Satoru had said? “I told you that Geto needs me so he won’t —”

 

“Needs you?!” Yuuta exploded, a rare fury in his eyes as his hands jabbed out every word. “I don’t care if the next time he steps outside it’ll be in a coffin. He keeps that damn collar around your neck and leashes you to him! That’s all that matters!”

 

“And he’s glued plastic covers over the prongs that would shock me and gives me human food because I like it more!” Satoru shot back. Yuuta was allowed to dislike Geto owning him all he wanted, but wishing him death had taken everything too far. “If I have to stay here forever so that he can live, then I will!”

 

Yuuta stared at him in shock and tears began to glimmer in his eyes as if Satoru had said the most tragic thing. Just why couldn’t he be happy Satoru had been bought by the kindest human alive? Satoru had never once dreamed before that life could be something happy and fun before Geto had brought him home.

 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuta started, his hands shaking as his mouth twisted in an attempt not to cry. “I’ve been out for a few years now. I know the facility is a lot more distant to me than it is for you.”

 

Satoru couldn’t help but smile. So Yuuta had escaped early, then. So many years ago that the horrors at the facility had become nothing more than distant memories of a bleak childhood.

 

“So how’s the free world like?” Satoru asked. He couldn’t imagine it was easy, but Yuuta seemed to be thriving with a job and everything. “That mail carrier uniform looks good on you. Sure you didn’t take up the job just for the outfit?”

 

Yuuta blushed and Satoru almost laughed. His baby brother had always been too shy and reserved for his own good, but that just made it all the easier to innocently mess with him.

 

“I can read better than either of my friends. You saw both of them. Maki and also Toge. So I was recommended for the job. It took asking for a big favor to get fake ones for me made, but Toge, Maki, and I work together, so it’s manageable.”

 

“Favor?” Satoru echoed. In all his life, a favor had never meant anything good.

 

Yuuta’s gaze darted to the side for a split second and Satoru’s heart fell. They’d probably had little choice in the matter, but if anyone had hurt his baby brother…

 

“Maki made things possible. I’ll explain it to you later, but the three of us are working together and watching each other’s backs. You don’t have to worry about us. Okay?” Yuuta gave Satoru a small smile, and despite the nagging feeling that told Satoru things were very much not as okay as Yuuta made them out to be, he nodded. He just had to trust that Yuuta believed it all to be worth it.

 

Yuuta left soon after and within minutes the street lamps flickered on again. Satoru could only hope the hybrid had been successfully rescued, but he supposed he’d have to trust Yuuta on that as well. He’d seemed more than confident in the success of the mission.

 

After his talk with Yuuta, something inside Satoru finally relaxed by the tiniest of margins, and Satoru went back to his room. The bed was as soft and comfortable as ever, but he leaned his head against the wall just in case Geto got up. One footstep and he’d wake.

 

Satoru hugged the cat plushie he’d gotten to his chest who looked just like Geto. He was glad Geto was human so he’d never have to go through what every hybrid did, but the idea of Geto with fluffy black ears to match his hair popped into Satoru’s mind. It wasn’t difficult to imagine Geto as a hybrid with the inhuman way he acted.

 

Yuuta had his friends to look out for him and Geto had Satoru to do the same for him. Satoru wasn’t about to let his human die on him.

Notes:

sorry for any mistakes this chapter. i don't have the energy to edit it. i had an insane headache last night, like one moment i was fine and then within 5-10 seconds i was in intense pain where it felt like my brain was swelling and about to explode my skull as my face went kind numb. thankfully it didn't last long, but i've had a smaller headache since then (going on hour 29 and counting) and i'm gonna have to actually go and maybe get medical advice or something. i get migraines on a pretty regular basis and they're so bad i almost end up vomiting from pain, but this was way worse than those

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 17: Though It Tortures Me

All Suguru could think about was how thankful he was to Satoru for forcing him to take a shower. When he’d woken up in the morning, he’d somehow managed to be more exhausted than the previous day, but he still managed to drag himself out of the house with Satoru. For some reason, cancelling his plans felt like it would be more work than following through. Maybe it was because the guilt would eat him alive.

 

Suguru knocked on the door to a house he’d been told the address of. If he’d somehow got the wrong one, he’d kill —

 

He shook the thought away. He had to stop that pattern of thinking, even as a joke due to his mental state. Suguru wracked his brain for alternatives. Maybe if he’d gotten the wrong one, he’d put in his two week’s notice. To life most likely instead of his job, but it was a step up.

 

Satoru remained oblivious beside him, but he’d already been on edge the last several days thanks to Suguru. Maybe a visit with that hybrid friend he’d made would do him some good.

 

At least Satoru had worked up the courage to deal with it healthily, even though he’d glanced at Suguru so many times as if asking for permission to bite his tail that he was still holding in his mouth.

 

The woman who’d approached him at the park, Kana, opened the door with a huge smile on her face and her rabbit hybrid right behind her.

 

“Come in! Come in!” she greeted as she waved them in. Suguru wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep up with her cheerfulness, but he was committed now so he had no choice. “Make yourself at home. Your hybrid is so cute. What’s his name?”

 

Kana reached out a hand, and maybe she didn’t see it, but Satoru flinched the tiniest amount.

 

“It’s actually best if you don’t pet him,” Suguru got out before she touched Satoru’s head. She stopped immediately even without an explanation, but if visits like these would happen again, it would be best if she knew. “Satoru’s a bit anxious and generally dislikes being touched by strangers.”

 

“Oh poor thing,” the lady cooed as she withdrew her hand, only to shoo the two away toward a hallway. “You two have fun and play together. And Geto, that’s your name, right? My memory isn’t what it used to be.”

 

He knew the feeling with how head fog could make his life several times harder than it needed to be, but he nodded. She had remembered his name.

 

“How about we go to the living room? I can start brewing some tea to drink,” she said as she beckoned him over.

 

Her house was spacious and far too large a space for just a hybrid and her. Maybe a partner as well, but he didn’t want to assume. As they walked into the living room, Suguru’s eyes widened by the smallest of amounts in surprise. Various hybrid toys were scattered around the area and an entire hybrid bed was set up beside the couch so her pet hybrid could sleep comfortably in the living room. It even seemed to have a cover so she could hide if she wanted to.

 

“You seem like you could use some caffeinated tea,” Kana said as she walked into the connected kitchen and started warming up water. “You look exhausted so just rest for a little bit.”

 

Did it really show that much? He supposed it did with the way bags would form under his eyes from lack of sleep and how he hadn’t even put up his hair. Just thrown on comfortable yet acceptable clothes and called it good enough.

 

“You know, this really reminds me of when my kids were little and had playdates,” Kana started a few minutes later, the tea ready and two cups of it in her hands as she walked over to join Suguru on the couch. She handed one of them to him. “I adopted Chiyoko soon after my last kid left for university. She’s been an absolute sweetheart since the moment I saw her.”

 

So that was why the entire house seemed altered to fit Chiyoko’s needs. A hybrid as a stand-in for a child. Probably not the best way to cope, but Suguru couldn’t say anything about it. All of his effective methods to soothe the pain ended with his own blood trickling from whatever wound he’d made. There was a reason he always wore pants.

 

“I got Satoru not too long ago for medical reasons,” Suguru started as he tapped at the teacup in his hands. It was only fair, but the last thing he wanted to do was open up. “It’s not a physical issue, but Satoru’s helped me more than I could have ever imagined.”

 

“It’s tough being young. You’ll figure it out with time,” Kana said, her statement completely missing the point, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like Suguru wanted to flaunt how many failed attempts he’d made or the perfectly straight and evenly spaced scars on his legs.

 

Suguru just nodded. It felt odd for someone to act so motherly toward him, but he didn’t mind at that moment. Sometimes, he really missed his parents.

 

“You’ve said you’ve had Chiyoko for years,” Suguru started as he remembered one of the reasons he’d forced himself out the door despite all logic. “I’ve only had Satoru for a month. Any pointers?”

 

The woman sat back as she thought about his question. “I’m not sure what to tell you. If you’ve only had him for a month, then you’re doing something right since he’s so close to you. Hybrids are usually jumpy at first. The outside world must be a lot to process.”

 

“Satoru wasn’t just jumpy when I got him,” Suguru started. It felt almost wrong to be telling a near stranger about Satoru, but Satoru was just a hybrid and Suguru didn’t know what to do. “I thought he was just anxious at first, but that wasn’t it. It’s… it’s beyond obvious that at least one of his past handlers abused him. Badly. I don’t know what to do.”

 

Kana’s eyes widened in shock as she stared at him. “How could he have been hurt while there? If anyone had hurt my Chiyoko, I’d have to kill them.”

 

Anger flickered in her eyes, and that alone told Suguru enough to know she regarded Chiyoko just like her own child. She could very well storm the gates of one of those facilities herself.

 

“Satoru’s had panic attacks over the slightest mistakes he’d made and it just… It’s obvious that he thinks he’s going to be abused if he breathes wrong,” Suguru started. He wasn’t sure why it was all coming out now, but he needed someone to know. “I accidentally shocked him once and… and he just lay there, expecting more but too defeated to do anything about it. I took off his collar for a bath the next day and there were burn marks. From only a few seconds. I don’t —”

 

“Burn marks?” Kana whispered, her face pale and eyes wide with horror.

 

Suguru nodded. The only way Satoru could have acted as though unhurt afterwards was if he’d been put through it enough times for him to learn how to hide it. Suguru didn’t even want to know what had happened at those facilities in the name of training.

 

“I don’t use it much, but they said… They said it was mild,” Kana went on, her voice wavering on every word. “I’d only do it if she doesn’t listen and could get herself in danger from it, but it can’t, it can’t be…”

 

“When was the last time you used it?” Suguru asked. How had she cared for Chiyoko for years and never noticed? It was obvious she loved her hybrid pet more than almost anything else, but had she never taken that collar off at all?

 

Kana got up on unsteady feet and began to walk towards where Chiyoko and Satoru had gone off to. “Not quite a week ago. She was running too far ahead and she could have gotten lost or snatched up. She wasn’t listening either because of how far away she was, so I… I…”

 

Kana opened a door. Both Satoru and Chiyoko sat on the floor, various toys surrounding them, and it had to be Chiyoko’s bedroom due to the giant fluffy hybrid bed, but Suguru didn’t even know what to think. Kana had even made a foam block pit for her to dig or play in and plushies filled her bed.

 

“Be still and let me check something, okay dear?” Kana asked as she knelt and began to undo the collar around Chiyoko’s neck. Both Satoru’s and Chiyoko’s eyes went wide by the smallest of amounts which didn’t make sense, but maybe Suguru was seeing things. He’d barely gotten any sleep.

 

The collar fell away and as much as Suguru wished he’d been wrong, a puffy burn adorned Chiyoko’s neck right where the collar shock prongs had been. It hadn’t just been Satoru’s collar.

 

“No. No, no no no,” Kana whispered in horror as she lightly touched the mark. “I couldn’t, couldn’t have —”

 

Tears streamed down Kana’s face as she hugged a very confused looking Chiyoko to her as she apologized over and over again, promising to never use the collar again and how she would find cover up the metal.

 

Kana finally pulled away and mustered a shaky smile for Chiyoko. “Mom’s going to fix this, okay? Never, ever again. I promise.”

 

She stood and they left the two hybrids alone again. Instead of going to the couch, Kana made a beeline to the kitchen as her shoulders shook from repressed sobs. There wasn’t anything Suguru could say. Not really. What had been done had been done, good intentions or not.

 

“I used to do this for my kids after I’d messed up or they were studying hard, but…” Kana sniffled as she cut up an apple into slices before carving them to appear as if a bird. “She won’t understand.”

 

“I’m still not sure how hybrids work,” Suguru started as he recalled the night that still sent guilt to stab through his heart, “but you’ve probably already been forgiven. Satoru… He forgave me far too quickly. It would have been better if he’d hated me, you know?”

 

Kana shakily nodded. “She never showed how much pain she was in. She’d… she’d even come back and apologize by bumping her head against me. I heard that was just a myth of how rabbits apologize, but it’s clear what she meant by it. I’ve been horrible to her, haven’t I?”

 

Suguru remained silent. His words wouldn’t help and the way the entire house he’d seen so far had been decked out just for Chiyoko, it would be obvious to anyone just how much Kana cared. Only Chiyoko would be able to get through to her.

 

As they entered with Kana carrying the apple slices, Satoru’s ears perked up and Chiyoko sniffed at the offered plate of food.

 

“They’re all yours,” Kana said shakily as she reached forward to pet Chiyoko’s head, just to freeze before her fingers touched the hybrid’s black hair. Suguru knew the feeling all too well. He hadn’t felt worthy to even pet Satoru either.

 

Instead of merely leaning into the touch, or even ignoring her owner in favor of the snacks, Chiyoko got to her feet and hugged Kana. Maybe the hybrid didn’t know what was going on, but she had to know Kana was upset. That much was obvious.

 

Kana clutched Chiyoko to herself for a few seconds before she pulled away and let Chiyoko go back to playing. At least the two seemed to be having fun if Satoru’s body language was anything to go by. Underneath all the panic and trauma, maybe Satoru really was a social cat.

 

Suguru tried not to think of how such an innocent thing had been ruthlessly destroyed.

 

“Maybe that’s why hybrids are so jumpy at first,” Kana muttered as they made their way back to the couch. “If that’s common and used frequently…Why do they form such bonds with us, then? Almost every one of them does to the point stories about hybrids protecting their owners are common. So why?”

 

Was it because they were a better option? Suguru wasn’t sure, but the way unfiltered gratitude had shown in Satoru’s eyes when Suguru had removed the bed in his room told him everything he needed. They weren’t used to even humane treatment.

 

“You should know that as hybrids get more comfortable, they will usually show more of their base animal behaviors,” Kana continued. She wasn’t looking at Suguru anymore, but staring down at her cup of cold, half finished tea instead. “It’s a good sign. The perfectly well behaved ones are the ones you should be concerned about. Just like with kids.”

 

A comfortable yet heavy silence fell over them, only broken by Kana eventually standing and taking the teacups away. “You should rest, dear. You look exhausted and I’ve heard about how busy young people are these days. My own kids barely even remember to call these days.”

 

No wonder she’d gotten a hybrid.

 

Suguru closed his eyes and tried his best to relax. Sleep wouldn’t find him, he already knew that, but so long as he could accept that then some rest could help.

 

He wasn’t sure how long it was before Kana lightly shook him by the shoulder and it was time to leave.

 

“One more thing,” she said right before they walked out the door. “Make sure to check your locks. Hybrids have been randomly stolen. It isn’t often, but it’s good to be sure. If you want, I can send my husband over to help you.”

 

Suguru nodded. Maybe he’d take her up on the offer once he’d recovered. He already had the feeling he’d expended far too much energy for the day.

Notes:

i'm not doing so great, but i did manage a chapter even though it's shorter. i only got three hours of sleep, then promptly found out that the soonest doctor's appointment for that headache (which could very easily mean some really bad things if i'm unlucky. there was something seriously wrong with it) would be in a month (thankfully later in the day, someone canceled their appointment so mine got bumped up into being in two weeks. so a win is a win). so i started off the day pretty terribly, but you know, at least i had my therapy appointment today! those help since i'm going to the best therapist i've ever had!! :D well, i mentioned i wouldn't be seeing the psychiatrist in the clinic he works at which i didn't think would be a big deal. emails are a thing, but uhhh... he said he needed to work closely with my psychiatrist to give me the best help, so he uhh... he told me i wouldn't be seeing him again as a patient. i've been going to him for years at this point. i may have gotten a headache (normal one though) from all the crying i did

now, you may be wondering why i don't just switch back to my old psychiatrist. which is a very good question. long story short, he freaked out over me being ace and tried to pin a mental disorder on me because of it (he stated that was his primary reason multiple times so i'm not even assuming anything here) and there were a ton of little microaggressions about it. i swear it felt like he was trying to pressure me into going out and having sex to "fix" me. so that was a thing for months. but what made me finally snap, because i downplay everything i go through, was his 20 minute long un-skippable cutscene where he seemed to be doing his best jk rowling impression. the amount of transphobic shit he said was truly astounding. like i'd kept my name change from him due to a gut feeling, but i wasn't expecting it to be proven as i tried to redirect the conversation. and that was my final straw (the cherry on top of the entire thing included him saying that all my chronic pain that's been ruining my life is all in my head. but that was just an asshole move and not a "i think i might need to file a report" sort of thing)

tldr because those notes were super long: major L moment + rip bozo + no sleep + benched psychiatrist - one therapist + 1 massively delayed appointment for a medical concern

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 18: Have I Lost Myself

Geto got up hours later than he usually did.

 

Usually, Satoru would have been happy that his human had slept in, but if the dark bags under Geto’s eyes and the way he staggered out of his room said anything, then little to no sleep had occurred.

 

Satoru could only watch as Geto robotically emptied two of the pre-made meals he’d put together onto plates and popped them into the microwave. He was moving too slowly yet again, and when he finally pushed one of the plates in Satoru’s direction, the human only stared at his own food blankly.

 

He had no real plans of eating it, did he?

 

Satoru stared at Geto, unmoving despite how his stomach growled because he wouldn’t eat until his owner did. A minute passed before Geto finally picked up his chopsticks and Satoru mirrored him bite for bite, each one torturously slow until they both finished. He couldn’t allow his human to starve.

 

Despite the food gone, Geto didn’t move from his chair, but instead stared down at the table with an empty gaze. It wasn’t a look unfamiliar to Satoru. He’d seen it countless times in countless hybrids who’d finally broken from it all, but that look didn’t belong on Geto who was supposed to be living a life for himself. Humans were supposed to be happy unlike hybrids.

 

If Satoru couldn’t see the rising and falling of Geto’s chest, he would have thought the human had turned into a statue as minute after minute ticked away. Finally, Satoru got up. He had no intention of going to the couch and abandoning Geto, so he instead settled himself on the floor beside Geto’s chair and laid his head in the human’s lap. Geto could do whatever he wanted to him so he could feel better, whether that be stroking Satoru’s hair or pulling until it would rip from his scalp.

 

 Geto finally began to move.

 

It was slow, each move more of a lurch than anything else, but Geto finally got to his feet and staggered to the couch and Satoru followed him. He wasn’t sure why he’d forced himself to move, but at least his owner would be more comfortable this way.

 

Time moved slowly as Satoru leaned on Geto’s shoulder and hugged the human with his tail. Purring wasn’t helping his owner snap out of the heavy daze that had come over him, and it was far too easy to imagine his human attempting in such a state. Satoru had learned the signs leading up to a hybrid deciding that their time was up, and Geto didn’t seem to be any different even if he was a human.

 

Satoru couldn’t let his human die.

 

Despite everything, Geto remained frozen in place, catatonic from the weight that had to be crushing his soul. There had to be something Satoru could do, something that would ease the pain his owner felt, but he didn’t know what else he could do. Not when he could only be a dumb pet.

 

What made humans happy?

 

The first answer was obvious. Other humans. They were a social species just like most hybrids were and loved to interact with each other. Yet Satoru had only seen one other human enter the apartment and that had been Shoko whom Geto had to call. Judging by the human’s empty pockets, he must have left his phone in his room, somewhere Satoru had been barred from going.

 

Secondly though, humans loved to see things like him in pain. The solution was obvious. Just one flick of a button and everything could be okay again. He could make his human happy again and it would be worth it.

 

Geto had always fastened Satoru’s collar to be way too loose, but it gave Satoru the needed room to slip his fingers underneath the fabric and pick at the plastic caps glued over the metal. If he could pry them off with his newly grown nails, then things would be so easy for Geto to make himself feel better.

 

It was good that they’d always given Satoru those horrible punishments for being so rebellious. He could take so much more pain than most any other hybrid before he’d pass out. With how he’d been trained, he could give Geto hours of fun if that was what the human needed.

 

A hand over his, and Satoru froze.

 

He knew he wasn’t supposed to be messing with his collar, but maybe Geto finally understood and just wanted to do it himself.

 

Instead, Geto undid the collar and took it completely off Satoru’s neck. Satoru didn’t know what to do. He’d never attempt to remove it even if Geto used it to shock him every single day. It didn’t make sense why the human would do that when the material was what kept Satoru securely as his possession and under Geto’s control.

 

A horrible thought occurred to him and panic built up in Satoru’s throat until it began to choke him. It could be Geto’s way of saying Satoru was no longer his, that he wanted Satoru gone since he clearly wasn’t good enough.

 

He’d take any amount of shocks or beatings, would go back to that canned sludge and stay mute and stupid for the rest of his life if that’s what would let him remain as Geto’s pet. Geto was his human, the one Satoru needed to keep safe and never wanted to leave.

 

The oddities didn’t end there as Geto took one of Satoru’s hands, the one that had been picking at the plastic, and brought it closer to himself for inspection. Satoru could only watch as Geto stared at the freshly grown nails. They hadn’t been so long for years, handlers always ripping them out the second they saw a smidge of white to them.

 

Satoru tried to breathe evenly and keep his hand from shaking as Geto inspected it. The human should rip off his nails again. Maybe then he’d finally be happy. If he said the word, Satoru would run to the kitchen and grab a knife for Geto so he could pry them off. Satoru would be good too and wouldn’t try to hide his pain. He’d tremble and cry until Geto would be happy again from his human instinctual needs finally being met.

 

Instead, Geto dropped his hand the second Satoru started trembling as something broke in his already empty eyes. They were supposed to spark with life instead at the realization of what he could do.

 

“You must hate me,” Geto murmured as he looked away, his head bowed as he curled into himself. A shocked noise just almost left Satoru because how couldn’t his human see how much Satoru loved him? Geto could do whatever he pleased to Satoru and he’d only be glad to see the life returning to his owner’s eyes from his pain. “You should after everything.”

 

Geto… Geto had to be having one of his delusional episodes again, just like he had that first night after he’d punished Satoru as he’d had every right to. Satoru just had to bring him back until even the human could see through those poisonous thought patterns.

 

How was Satoru’s love not obvious enough? Why was he failing his human so badly?

 

Satoru squeezed Geto with his tail and butted his head against Geto’s shoulder as he forced a purr to rumble from within his chest. It had helped Geto that first time to snap out of it and pet Satoru instead, yet Geto only hunched into himself further as if Satoru’s affection hurt.

 

Nothing Satoru did caused his owner to either pet him or use Satoru as the relief he so obviously needed. Nothing. Instead, the human eventually fell asleep on the couch, too tired to even return to his bed that humans loved so much.

 

Satoru was failing him.

 

Just being a hybrid wasn’t enough to help his owner out of the poisonous misery that had overtaken him, and Satoru gingerly got to his feet, careful not to wake Geto as he silently walked away. His hands trembled as he slowly opened the door to Geto’s room, the one place he wasn’t supposed to be.

 

Geto would finally snap and punish him as he should if he found Satoru, but that would be a good thing. Maybe a real cause to remind Satoru of the rules would finally compel Geto to help himself feel better.

 

Nothing happened as Satoru stepped into the room, though. A human bed lay inside the room along with a desk covered in papers and a singular bookshelf. It fit his gentle human so well that Satoru just almost smiled before he began to search for the phone. If he couldn’t help Geto feel better, then another human stood a better chance of doing so.

 

First, the desk. Satoru scanned it for the most open space where Geto may have set the phone down in passing, and one area stood out to him. Only a single paper lay there, and Satoru began to turn it over in search before he stopped cold, horror washing down his back in an icy bath.

 

If you find this, I’m sorry since it means I’ve finally succeeded. I haven’t felt like I’m meant to be alive since that first failed attempt. I think my life was supposed to end there, but clearly it didn’t and

 

Satoru stopped reading as he whirled his head around, ears on alert for the sound of a single movement from Geto, but there was nothing. Panic zipped through his veins and he couldn’t breathe. Geto was going to kill himself. He was going to attempt and Satoru didn’t know how to stop him and —

 

A scribbled note at the bottom page said that in the case of his death, Satoru was to go to Shoko to be his new owner, but no relief found Satoru for being spared the fate of going back to that facility. He’d deserve the weeks of torture and how they’d rip out his vocal chords. What he wouldn’t deserve was the kindness of another owner.

 

The phone lay on Geto’s bed, and Satoru picked it up with shaking hands as he punched in the code he’d watched Geto use so many times before. It didn’t take long to find the phone app and then Shoko’s contact. He pressed the call button and set the device back on the bed.

 

One ring. Then two. And three.

 

On the fourth, Shoko picked up.

 

“What the hell, Geto?” she asked on the other side, seemingly put off from being called. “You’re lucky I’m on lunch. What is it?”

 

Words lodged themselves in Satoru’s throat. He wasn’t allowed to speak. Hybrids weren’t supposed to, and if he did, then they’d both know the truth and he was supposed to be Geto’s therapy pet. Not something intelligent.

 

“Hey, I can’t hear you,” Shoko eventually said before she sighed and hung up.

 

Satoru stared down at the phone. She hadn’t said she’d visit, but this would be enough, wouldn’t it? It had to be.

 

Satoru closed out of the phone app and put the phone to sleep before he crept out of Geto’s room and closed the door silently behind him. Geto still sat on the couch, his eyes closed in sleep, and Satoru waited for the other human to visit.

 

Hours rolled by and the sun eventually set, but nothing. She’d ignored the call all because Satoru had been too terrified to say a single thing. It would be his fault if something happened.

 

Geto finally rallied himself to stagger back to his room. Satoru already knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake the whole night as exhaustion tugged at his body. He’d already forgone too much rest while panicking during the day.

 

Instead, Satoru plastered himself against the thin wall that connected his and Geto’s rooms and left his door open. He’d hear if anything at all happened, and his eyes drifted shut. He wouldn’t sleep deeply.

 

Light sleep wasn’t enough to stop the nightmares as Satoru stared down at Geto’s body, the human’s tanned skin paper white and the bathtub’s water stained red with blood. His fault. All his fault that the human’s heart no longer beat. His fault that his human’s natural warmth had disappeared into clammy coldness.

 

Geto’s eyes remained open, staring lifelessly at the ceiling, the color sucked out of them.

 

Satoru woke with a start as he gasped for breath, his heart hammering as he scrambled to his feet toward the bathroom. He wouldn’t find Geto’s dead body there. He wouldn’t. It had all been a stomach churning dream that wasn’t real and —

 

Burning bile forced its way out of Satoru’s throat right there in the hallway as he vomited on the floor. He couldn’t breathe but only hack up acid and partially digested food. He was failing Geto. Failing him over and over and over again.

 

When he finally finished, Satoru heaved for breath as he shook. At least he knew where the cleaning supplies were and how to use them. Geto… Geto had wanted him to use them even though he hadn’t believed Satoru capable of it.

 

At least that was something he could do, even if it would never be enough.

Notes:

satoru is going through it

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 19: Or Have I Gained You

Suguru needed to cut. He needed to slice his skin until ruby red blood would first bead from the wound and then pour from it. He needed the air to stink with its metallic scent and for his head to go nauseatingly light from it all.

 

He needed to die.

 

Suguru shook his head as he rubbed his temples in some attempt to snap out of it, but it was impossible. The hazy fog of desperation closed in on him once again within seconds as if it had never even retreated in the first place.

 

The book he’d been reading lay untouched on his nightstand. It would distract him when he’d barely be able to read the words, and attempting to do anything to take his mind off things only filled him with nausea. He’d rather peel off his own skin than attempt to do something that would barely delay a thing.

 

Just how pathetic was he? His life was fine. He’d had a good childhood and good parents even though they were no longer with him. He didn’t have a reason to be so fucked up to the point he kept attempting, but all he could think about were knives all the same. He couldn’t even cope with a regular life, meanwhile Satoru was all smiles and happy purrs despite the never ending horrors he’d been through. And he was a hybrid of all things.

 

Satoru should hate him. It had seemed like he’d been trying to get his collar off, yet he’d been so shocked when Suguru had actually done it. He wasn’t sure how intelligent Satoru was, but it was enough for the hybrid to know which parts of the collar would torture him, so why hadn’t he finally bolted once freed from it? Suguru deserved to be abandoned and left behind when Satoru had thought just seconds later that Suguru would abuse him.

 

The way Satoru had shaken would never leave Suguru’s mind. The hybrid had been trying so hard to hide it, to act as if everything was okay, but just Suguru holding his hand to see his nail growth had terrified him.

 

Maybe things would be better for Satoru if Suguru just killed himself. He wouldn’t have an owner he was terrified of any longer. Shoko would take him in and he’d soon forget about the mess of a human who’d failed at helping him again and again and again.

 

He wanted to see his mom and dad again even if they’d be disappointed that he’d joined them so soon. Maybe they’d just hug him and let him cry in their arms even though he’d failed at keeping himself alive. He was so tired in the way sleep could never fix. Days painted in dull shades of gray dragged on one after another in an endless loop he could never break out of. He just wanted it all to be over.

 

Suguru staggered out of his room, the bathroom so close by. There were razors and it would only take a minute or two to fill the tub so he could bleed out quickly. Once he finally died, maybe Satoru wouldn’t be able to tell who he was anymore just like a regular cat and eat him, but he didn’t care. If anything, that almost seemed to be a comfort. At least he’d have some use.

 

The scent of artificial lemon stung his nose, and Suguru came to a stop. That didn’t make any sense. Satoru’s room was still open and he was the only other living thing in the apartment, but Satoru was a hybrid. Hybrids weren’t that smart to figure things like that out.

 

Maybe though, just maybe, it wouldn’t do any harm to see Satoru one last time. He could just silently walk into Satoru’s room and watch as Satoru slept away peacefully for a few seconds. Days passed in a gray monotonous sludge, but it had always been Satoru who’d breathed even a little life into them.

 

Suguru stepped in.

 

Instead of finding Satoru curled up in his bed and fast asleep, Satoru was already awake, his eyes wide as he stared at Suguru in what he could only describe as absolute terror.

 

Suguru’s heart ripped and he couldn’t help the tears that stung his eyes and soon dripped down his face. It was all Suguru’s fault. Satoru had to think he was here to abuse him in heinous ways, and just maybe if Suguru had been a better owner from the beginning, Satoru wouldn’t have a reason to hate him so.

 

Suguru’s lungs burned as he tried not to sob, the whirlwind of emotions inside him finally coming undone as he cried. He should go and just end things himself, but the idea of just stepping out seemed to break even another piece of him apart.

 

He’d just wanted Satoru to love him for one last time even if it was a surface level affection. He’d wanted to know Satoru was okay and to maybe pet him before he’d go, but that wasn’t the way things were. To Satoru, he was just a monster like those people who’d abused him.

 

He deserved to die if even Satoru hated him.

 

Suguru startled as something touched him, and he looked up to see Satoru in front of him, before he was pulled into a hug. It didn’t make any sense when Satoru hated him, when he was a hybrid who couldn’t know what a hug meant, but Suguru melted into it all the same as tears streamed down his face. Maybe Satoru had learned it from Chiyoko.

 

He couldn’t stop crying as Satoru held him and a fluffy tail curled around him as well.

 

Suguru stumbled after Satoru as he was led to the hybrid’s bed to eventually lay in it side by side. His chest still shook with sobs so hard he could barely breathe, but the trust Satoru was showing him only made him cry impossibly harder. Why? Why was Satoru letting him in to such a vulnerable place? He’d been hurt so many times before, yet he’d invited him in without so much as a suggestion.

 

Suguru didn’t deserve the hybrid’s care or love. If Satoru had ran away the second Suguru had taken that collar off, he wouldn’t have blamed him. Satoru would probably be happier on his own than with Suguru anyway.

 

The bed vibrated with Satoru’s deep purring, and a shudder wracked Suguru as the hybrid tucked Suguru’s head to his chest so he was pressed against the very source of it, Satoru’s purring a deep rumbling and impossibly calming.

 

Suguru let Satoru do whatever he wanted, which seemed to include letting Suguru curl up right beside him as Satoru petted his hair as if Suguru was the hybrid between the two of them. Yet Satoru’s fingers had a calming effect despite the way his newly grown claws could slice into him and cut Suguru’s life short just as he’d planned to do himself.

 

He wasn’t sure when it began to happen, but his body relaxed from the repetitive motions and Satoru’s purring. At some point, he finally drifted off to sleep right beside Satoru in the hybrid’s bed.

 

 

---

Suguru blinked awake in the morning in a strange bed with someone right beside him. Nothing made sense. He hadn’t had a spur of the moment hook-up since some time in university, but he was very much clothed and —

 

And he’d almost killed himself last night. Again.

 

It was Satoru snuggled beside him, hugging Suguru like he was his new favorite plushie, and he was in Satoru’s exceedingly comfortable hybrid bed. Satoru had taken care of him the night before when he’d broken down in front of him because of Satoru’s reaction.

 

Had Satoru even been terrified? Suguru distantly remembered smelling the artificial lemon scent of cleaning supplies, so he must have really been out of it. He’d never had hallucinations of smell, but there was a first for everything. There was even a good chance he’d vastly misinterpreted whatever expression Satoru had worn the previous night with the way his brain could convince him of things that weren’t true when so emotional.

 

He was an absolute wreck, wasn’t he?

 

Suguru groaned as he picked himself up to begin yet another day he wasn’t too keen on completing, just for Satoru to snap awake and promptly pull him back. Satoru’s tail encircled Suguru again as the hybrid closed his eyes and began to sleepily purr.

 

He didn’t have much of a choice but to stay in bed with the way Satoru was holding him hostage, the hybrid more clingy than usual, but Suguru found he didn’t mind too much. Despite being unable to sleep, exhaustion still weighed him down. He’d survived, but it had still drained everything out of him even with Satoru’s help. Without Satoru, he really would have attempted again.

 

Eventually, Suguru did get himself out of bed, and Satoru followed him closer than his own shadow. Suguru numbly put together the meals he’d half prepared right before his episode, but he was doing better than the day before. Maybe not exactly functional, but on his feet at least.

 

His phone rang, the ringtune muffled from how it was still in his room, likely buried in his sheets, but Suguru ran over and picked it up, Shoko’s contact flashing on the screen.

 

“Hello?” he asked. She rarely called in the mornings, and judging by how it was finally the weekend, she must have deemed it important enough to call him before she spent the weekend drinking as she so often did. At least Utahime had helped put a stop to her cigarette usage. Alcohol and smoking had been a combo born in hell for her.

 

“Forgot to call back last night, but what was that?” Shoko started. One sentence in and she’d already lost him. “You called during my lunch but didn’t say shit.”

 

What?

 

Suguru’s brows furrowed in confusion. It couldn’t even be a prank with Shoko’s low energy levels. “I didn’t call you though?”

 

“Nope. You totally did, but it was completely silent, and I know you weren’t out and about and driving through a tunnel or something,” Shoko continued, everything getting weirder by the minute before she snickered. “Didn’t think you’d manage to make a butt dial, but here we are. Make your passcode longer.”

 

She hung up, leaving Suguru speechless. It wasn’t the passcode, he knew that much even if it was only four numbers, but it was impossible for him to have called her even on accident.

 

Suguru checked his phone history to see that Shoko was right. Listed just one call below was the record of him calling her just yesterday afternoon while he’d sat near paralyzed on the couch. If it had been in his pocket, then maybe he could have chalked it up to that, but there was one glaringly obvious fact that denied what Shoko had believed it to be.

 

He’d left his phone in his room yesterday. He wasn’t the one who’d called her.

Notes:

sorry for the shorter chapter. i wasn't sure how to make the events in it any longer and i also did a week's worth of one of my classes today. i'm taking one psych class and one sociology class (i'm only taking two to make sure i don't crash and burn with my very limited energy) and i have the feeling that at least the sociology one is going to have a lot of questions that will prompt me to lore drop about myself (which is common in sociology classes. stay tuned if they get spiderbedo lore or if i say fuck it and just start roleplaying as a character because i don't want to open up that much)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 20: I Suddenly Run

Days passed slowly as Geto recovered step by step, unnerved about the "mysterious" call from his own phone, but he eventually gave up on trying to figure it out. Satoru had heard Geto murmuring to himself something about a possible spirit messing with things before he’d dismissed that idea as well with the way tech seemed to clash with the spiritual. At that point, Geto had decided he must have gone crazy and was misremembering something.

 

Satoru kept his mouth shut the entire time. Geto wasn’t crazy, but he couldn’t say a thing or regret reaching out. If anything, he should have tried harder instead of being held back by his own cowardice. So what if he’d be kicked out by spooking his owner? So what if he’d be sure to be found by one of those facilities after being reported and then punished until he’d be unrecognizable? Satoru’s own life had never mattered. Not really.

 

Yet Geto’s did, and Satoru had come so close to losing his human all because of his own failures. Geto had broken down sobbing in his room. Satoru had seen the way the human had almost left, sure to make an attempt on his own life, so he’d tried to reel him back. Anything so long as he’d survive.

 

It had been a close call, and since then, Satoru had taken to following Geto’s every step as if he was trying to replace the human’s shadow. He wouldn’t fail him again.

 

Despite Geto’s lingering exhaustion, Satoru found himself being led outside, the leash that connected them slack as usual and yet another sign of trust Satoru didn’t deserve. He winced as they stepped outside, the sun suddenly far too bright and the air a buzzing cacophony of noise. Had the outdoors suddenly changed since the last time Satoru had stepped outside? He didn’t remember everything being so much.

 

Geto cursed under his breath and ran over to his car. Satoru ran after him even if his leash had enough room he could have just planted his feet and stood right where he’d been without worry.

 

“What the… How the hell did I piss someone off this much? I’ve been inside for the past week,” Geto muttered as he crouched down to examine the slashed tires of his car.

 

Satoru circled the vehicle, taking everything in as he forced his face to remain neutral as if he had no idea what was going on. Three out of four tires destroyed. Satoru didn’t get it either. Humans generally didn’t enjoy hurting each other, and when some of them did, they were always punished for it.

 

Satoru circled back to where Suguru sat hunched over, his forehead smushed against the metal of the car’s side, and Satoru squatted beside him. No more park, then, but if nothing else, Satoru did have one sense that could help identify the culprit who’d dared such a thing. Human punishments seemed to be more lenient, but he hoped whichever despicable human being who’d done it rotted in prison for years. Geto didn’t deserve to be hurt when he was so impossibly kind, but maybe other humans resented him for it and pushed him away. That would explain why they weren’t all flocking to be his human’s friend as they should be.

 

Satoru leaned forward and sniffed at the tire, some remnant scent sure to be left behind. His eyes widened. It wasn’t a human who’d done such a thing, but a hybrid he knew very well.

 

Yuuta.

 

Satoru tried not to sigh and join Geto in his misery. What was Yuuta thinking? Satoru wasn’t stupid, he knew Yuuta already hated Geto with a passion and didn’t believe a word that left Satoru’s mouth about him, but this was crossing a line.

 

Yuuta had mentioned something about humans with marks on their hands who’d be willing to help him, probably by taking Satoru away, so just maybe there was a connection. Satoru did suppose that would be easier if Geto had to walk him several blocks to the park, but that was ridiculous. Geto was inhumanly kind, but he wasn’t doing well. It would be too much and Satoru would rather stay inside than have Geto push himself after everything the human had just gone through.

 

Geto groaned as he got to his feet again, and Satoru followed him. He’d be having a talk with a certain brother of his first chance he got.

 

“I won’t even be able to get insurance to cover them since it’s only three,” Geto muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose before he took a deep breath. “I’ll just have Shoko help taxi me later when she’s open to get new ones. Looks like we’re adding on a walk today.”

 

A walk? Geto couldn’t be serious, but he’d already begun and Satoru could only follow him as they strolled down block after block in the warm sun. Things were still too much, but Satoru stuck close to his human as they walked, just his scent and presence something that could calm Satoru. Things were always okay if Geto was with him.

 

They finally arrived at the park, and Suguru unclipped his leash, but Satoru stayed by his side. Of course the soft grass and possibly interacting with other hybrids sounded like a dream that kept coming true because of his human’s kindness, but he didn’t want to leave. He knew how outlandish it was to feel safe with a human, to believe a human would keep away any and all dangers to him, but it was Geto. The anxiety that bubbled under Satoru’s skin could be soothed by the human.

 

“You can go, Satoru,” Geto encouraged as he nudged Satoru forward with one of his soft smiles. “Go on. You’ll have plenty of fun again, I promise.”

 

Satoru slowly walked away, his skin crawling as he grew further and further apart from the one thing that made him feel truly safe. He wasn’t sure what was up with him, there weren't any dangers around him like there always was at that facility, but it still felt the exact same.

 

Regardless, Geto wanted him to go, so Satoru did just that. It didn’t take long for him to find Chiyoko who was saying goodbye to another hybrid who had to leave with their owner. With how regularly she claimed to be at the park, Satoru had the feeling she had to be a popular figure.

 

Chiyoko lit up with a smile as she saw him and motioned him to come over. They settled into a leisurely walk, bodies angled just so in a way that outsiders wouldn’t be able to see their moving hands. They’d just see it as two hybrids stretching their legs together and nothing more.

 

“You look a little off,” Chiyoko started with a frown, completely skipping any niceties such as a proper greeting. “Are you sick?”

 

Satoru shrugged. He wished he knew as well. “Beats me.”

 

“Then get your owner to realize since he's kind. Mom will make me soup when I’m sick,” she signed, the term of endearment slipping right through her fingers.

 

Satoru grinned as he waggled his brows. Now this was good teasing material. “Mom? Even I wouldn’t call Geto that. Does she tuck you into bed and read you stories or something? I’ve heard humans do that.”

 

“I only get the bedtime stories if she’s lonely,” Chiyoko responded as she rolled her eyes at his antics. “You know, she hasn’t even used the collar since your owner told her about it. She took it in to have all the wiring removed by someone who works with regular collars. Apparently she’s the first one with that request according to him.”

 

“See? I told you Geto’s a good human,” Satoru gloated, his human the best of the best. He didn’t care what Chiyoko said. Even her ‘mom’ couldn’t compare to him.

 

The two of them walked in silence for a few seconds. Well, Satoru supposed they’d already been doing that, but neither of their hands signed a word for a beat. It was Chiyoko who began conversation again.

 

“What do you think a mom is like?” Chiyoko finally asked. Hybrids didn’t get to have parents. Not really.

 

In the end, Satoru couldn’t even remember his mother’s scent or how she looked like. Only a very vague, fleeting warmth. It was more than what most hybrids remembered, though. They’d be taken away by the time their mother would have her next litter and no one liked to speak about hybrids kept for reproduction uses. Those ones would never leave that endless cycle, even if they managed to not die in birth before they’d been used up.

 

“I think a mom would make sure her kids had everything they needed no matter what,” Satoru began as he thought back to those days he’d tried his best to raise Yuuta and his other siblings, even if he’d failed the others. Hours of torture due to shock collars had become a normal occurrence for him during that time whenever he’d be caught stealing milk so the babies would have something they could digest. He’d torn up one of his three sets of shabby gowns to clothe the kids as best he could.  “And she’d love them more than herself, I think.”

 

Satoru was in no means Yuuta’s parent, but he had taken on that role regardless for years. There hadn’t been much choice in the end. He hadn’t been able to turn his back on those cubs like everyone else had. As time had passed, his role had transitioned to the older brother role he was supposed to have instead as he’d teach Yuuta which areas of the facility didn’t have proper camera coverage or rough house with him, all while Yuuta’s bubbling laughter would ring out from their antics. He’d always had the cutest laugh, but that too had been taken from him. He’d never hear that sound again.

 

“So it sounds like I’m right and that she is my Mom,” Chiyoko said with a little smile. “She fusses over me like I’m a human kid. Not like she’s my owner.”

 

“Have you seen her interact with her own kids?” Satoru asked, curious to what her response would be. They still had to be in the picture somewhere.

 

Chiyoko nodded. “She’s very doting on them too, but I think she has to hold herself back from doing more since they’re grown. I think she likes me since she can treat me like a little kid forever and know I won’t eventually leave to strike off on my own.”

 

“What would you do if you were a human and had that choice?” Satoru asked. It was hard for him to imagine, but how could it ever be easy when at best they were treated as if either animals or small children? Their only options for entertainment simple toys that could never change to something that would require actual intelligence?

 

“An artist!” Chiyoko answered immediately as she smiled. She must have already thought it over long ago. “Mom lets me use washable paints sometimes and I love them. I can only try to actually draw something when she isn’t looking and then ruin it before she has the chance to see, but she’s shown me different abstract paintings and she won’t question things if I do something like that. I don’t think I’d want to leave like her other kids, though. She needs me.”

 

And Geto needed Satoru as well. Maybe Chiyoko’s owner wouldn’t die without her, but the loss was great enough even Chiyoko seemed to be worried about it. Maybe they were tied to their owners through more than the collars around their necks.

 

“I don’t know what I’d do if I could live like a human,” Satoru eventually said. He’d always been too busy fighting against the people who’d hurt him and others that he’d never really thought about a life outside that facility. He hadn’t even known what grass felt like and all those human jobs he’d learned about had always felt so foreign. Never something a hybrid like him could do.

 

Except, even if theoretically, it was possible.

 

“My little brother is a mail courier,” he blurted, hands moving before he could properly think. Chiyoko’s eyes bugged out. “He escaped one of the facilities and he’s half. He lucked out to get human ears and wears a big backpack to hide his tail. We saw each other while he was dropping off a package for Geto.”

 

Satoru couldn’t stop smiling as he thought about it all. He knew being a mail courier wasn’t considered a glamorous job, but it was a human only job that Yuuta had seized for himself. That was no small feat to scoff at.

 

“How long has he been out?” Chiyoko asked, her eyes still wide. Satoru was so going to surprise her.

 

“Long enough that he got mad about me having to wear a collar. Just a collar set him off,” he signed excitedly, the idea ridiculous to him but true. He couldn’t imagine how many years it would take him to get offended over a collar when he’d worn one all his life. And a loosely fastened one at that which couldn’t even shock him. “He has friends too cause he escaped with a group! And he looks so cute with his mail uniform like he’s playing dress-up except it’s actually real. He can actually write and read as part of his job and talk to humans by typing things.”

 

It sounded preposterous even to his own ears, but he’d seen it all for himself. Yuuta had made it and accomplished more than Satoru had ever dreamed of within his life. Maybe Satoru could never be anything aside from a pet after everything, but Yuuta wasn’t the same.

 

The two of them talked for a little longer before Chiyoko’s owner walked over and ended their time together with smiles and apologies she didn’t think they could understand. As she fussed over Chiyoko, Satoru could understand why she’d claimed the human as her mother. She certainly acted like the ones Satoru had heard about in training.

 

Geto decided it was time to go soon after and led Satoru out of the park. Satoru couldn’t help but notice the few men who sat outside the gates on benches. Just like Yuuta had said, marks decorated their hands, and despite how they tried to hide it, Satoru knew they’d recognized him from whatever description Yuuta had given them.

 

It would be so easy. One motion and they’d free him by…

 

By what? Pulling Geto into an alley and robbing him? Harming him? The slashed tires had been deliberate on Yuuta’s part. They could overpower Geto.

 

And then, while Satoru would finally be free, Geto would die. He’d die because he wouldn’t have Satoru to cry to or pet. He’d starve himself into becoming a husk because he couldn’t eat by himself. Police would find his body bled dry in the bathroom one day just because Satoru had chosen himself over his human.

 

Satoru curled his tail around Geto’s waist, hugging the human to his side as he refused to let go. He was staying so his human wouldn’t die or cry all by himself. It wasn’t like Satoru had ever had a real future in the first place. It was too late for him now. It wasn’t like he could even blend in with humans like Yuuta could.

 

No one approached them the entire walk home, Satoru’s sign heard loud and clear.

 

By the time it was dinner, Satoru found he wasn’t hungry in the slightest. That didn’t make sense either, even if he’d been off the entire day, but he still tried to force himself to eat, just for Geto to stop him.

 

The human pressed the back of his hand to Satoru’s forehead and frowned before he muttered something about Satoru running hot. His food was soon replaced with a light soup, just like Chiyoko had described when her owner found out she was sick.

 

Satoru ended up going to bed early since his human seemed to be fine again and Satoru’s body felt sluggish. As he curled up surrounded by blankets and plushies, he let himself relax despite the anxiety that still danced beneath his skin. He was safe with Geto. No matter what, so long as he had his human, then things would be fine.

Notes:

Pro tip: if you're ever mad at anyone and want to slash their tires, only slash three out of four so insurance doesn't cover it. now, if you think said person knows that, then make sure to secretly film them when they see, as you could charge them for insurance fraud if they slash the last tire themselves to get insurance to help. the more you know (i swear i randomly read this online. i have never done this and do not plan to ever) (i know many more evil facts and i'm sure i'm on multiple watchlists) (at this point it's freeing since there's no danger of getting myself on one if i'm already there)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 21: Beneath It All

Satoru didn’t join Suguru in the morning like he always did. Instead, his bedroom door remained closed even as Suguru began making breakfast. It felt odd for Satoru not to follow him around like a shadow and plaster himself against Suguru like a warm breathing blanket when he’d stand still to cook something on the stove top. If anything, he’d begun to cook more in the mornings for that reason in particular, a sleepy and cuddly Satoru something he could never turn down.

 

Maybe Satoru was sleeping off his slight fever from the night before. Either way, he needed to eat, and Suguru plated up a plate of food to bring to Satoru. Poor thing would starve if he just stayed in bed all day.

 

Suguru knocked on the door before he let himself in, the knock more of a heads up than anything else since it wasn’t like Satoru could answer him. Satoru laid curled up in his bed as if huddled in on himself and the room had been filled with a faint but odd smell.

 

“Satoru?” he started as he slowly approached. It didn’t smell like vomit so Satoru hadn’t been sick and too exhausted to get Suguru, but something about it all felt off.

 

Satoru snapped awake, his eyes widening in naked terror as he saw Suguru before he scrambled back and away from him. The hybrid’s chest rose and fell in labored breaths, his face flushed and eyes glassy in what had to be a fever.

 

“It’s okay, Satoru. Just me,” Suguru tried to soothe him as he gingerly made his way over and set the plate of food by Satoru’s bed side. The fever had to be scrambling Satoru’s brain and memories. “Just want to give you breakfast.”

 

Satoru continued to stare at him, but none of the terror had left his eyes. Instead, tears began to fill them even as he shakily brought his tail up to his mouth to bite it, every single strand of fur on it standing on end.

 

Satoru was terrified of him.

 

Suguru backed away before he left entirely, shutting the door behind him before he rushed to his room and opened his laptop to search for answers. He didn’t even care about his own breakfast that was quickly going cold when Satoru had looked at him like that. Not even that horrible night in the hallway had Satoru been so terrified.

 

No matter what Suguru typed in, the only consistent answer given to him were heats, which was ridiculous. Satoru was a male, and Suguru was no expert in hybrids, but he was pretty sure that was a female exclusive thing. Still, after several minutes, he finally caved and pressed one of the links. It couldn’t hurt to at least read.

 

Hybrids generally hide their illnesses just like any other animal. The causes for this are largely unknown, but can be assumed to be the same reason any other animal will do it. Illnesses are seen as a weakness to animals and one that must be hidden. Even if grievously ill, your hybrid will try to hide their condition. However, they can only do so much to hide their heats or ruts. While most attempt to keep those quiet as well, even the most well behaved will cave to their instincts eventually.

 

Suguru was not enjoying where things were going in the article. Either Satoru was dangerously ill or… Honestly, he was about to hope for an impossible cycle at this point.

 

A common misconception is that only female hybrids get heats.

 

Suguru wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or not anymore.

 

While it’s less common for male hybrids to have heats, it is still a very reasonably likely occurrence. Due to their few numbers, it’s believed hybrids evolved so that males could conceivably carry young if needed. Certain conditions can trigger this effect, but they’re not the only species of animal who have this biological mechanic. A common example is the clownfish. Unlike hybrids, these fish are all born male, but have both sexes. If required of them, clownfish can switch to being female. But where does this leave us when it comes to hybrids? It’s believed that males will often hold both sexes, but only through certain conditions will their ‘female’ organs become viable or even dominant. This does not, however, necessarily mean their gender changes as their behavior will only be affected during cycles. Certain conditions which will increase their chances of their anatomy shifting include there being reproduction issues where one of them will have to carry young, or if they are ‘fixed’ at a younger than recommended age, wherein their body will try to ‘correct’ itself by embracing their previously dormant sex. As hybrids are no longer endangered due to human care, it is usually the latter as the reason. Because of this, if you see your male hybrid showing the signs of a heat, be sure to call the facility you bought your hybrid from and ask them if they experience heats, and if so, on what scale as this can vary. Reproduction cycles in your hybrids are nothing to be concerned about as they are natural. Be sure to supply your hybrid with extra food and water, extra bedding to create nests, and personal care as these intense experiences can be distressing to them.

 

Suguru sat back as he tried to take in the information he’d just read. As much as he hated that facility, he had little choice but to call them. If it wasn’t a heat, then he’d have to get Satoru to a hybrid vet immediately.

 

It took a few moments for Suguru to fish out Satoru’s folder and to find the facility’s number to dial. If he had his way, he’d never interact with a soul who’d ever worked there again, but he didn’t have a choice. If it was really a heat, he couldn’t believe there’d been nothing done to warn him about it.

 

Then again, it would be harder to sell hybrids if they had to inform owners about it.

 

“Hello. This is Hybrid Helpers. How may I assist you today?” the woman on the other side of the phone greeted, her voice far too cheery for the situation.

 

“It’s about medical information on my hybrid,” Suguru started. They probably had a million different phone lines for problems. “I believe he might be in heat, but I need to get confirmation on whether he has those or not.”

 

“Well, I can help you on that one. Simple as checking our records. What’s your name and the name of your hybrid?” the woman asked.

 

“Geto Suguru, and he’s Gojo Satoru,” Suguru stated.

 

A pause, the clicks of her mouse just barely audible as he waited for her answer.

 

“So you would be right. It does appear he has heats. Let me look at the attached note here real quick,” the woman mused. Suguru was about to bash his head into the wall. If they’d just told him at the beginning, then he could have mentally prepared himself for it all. “Ah. It appears his are generally pretty severe for a male since he was fixed at a young age due to aggressive behaviors. He’ll be fine just riding it out, though. A few days and he should be normal again since heats are rather frequent for hybrids and occur every three to four months. Anything else I can help you with?”

 

Suguru’s eye twitched. Aggressive behaviors his ass. If Satoru still acted anything like his younger self, then it had been that abusive handler who’d labeled Satoru as such and made his life hell for it.

 

“No, that’s all. Thank you,” Suguru said before he hung up. He sighed and stared at the wall in front of him. The article had mentioned extra food, bedding to nest with, and possible care since it had to be distressing. He wasn’t sure why Satoru was acting the way he was, but he’d do his best.

 

Suguru got to his feet again, his course of action set. Maybe Satoru had just woken up from a nightmare and been freaked out because of that. Usually when Satoru got them while napping on the couch, Suguru would just pet him a little and murmur things in a soothing tone, and Satoru’s features would smooth out as his dream would turn into a good one again.

 

Satoru would be fine again when Suguru visited him and —

 

And Suguru froze. Satoru wouldn’t be. There’d been a reason Satoru hated human beds, why he’d suddenly warmed up to Suguru as if a switch had been flipped the second his bed had been replaced.

 

Suguru’s stomach churned and he wanted to throw up. Satoru was so vulnerable in his current state. So easy to take advantage of and what abuser wouldn’t seize the opportunity of such a thing. Had Satoru been labeled a trouble maker so early on just so this would happen? So they could abuse and torture him easier?

 

Satoru must have woken in a panic. Whether he believed Suguru would abuse him or not didn’t even matter in Satoru’s condition. All he knew was that he’d woken up with the same physical feelings that would lead to being taken advantage of and horrifically abused. Suguru’s identity wouldn’t matter to a hybrid like Satoru. Not right now. Only what he was feeling and the memories it had to be bringing back.

 

Suguru shakily walked to the kitchen and began to open cupboards, pulling out ingredients for one of Satoru’s favorite desserts. He didn’t know how to comfort a panicked Satoru when he was in such a state. Suguru himself could so easily be a trigger for his distress, but sweets had never hurt him. They couldn’t have when he’d been deprived of everything that tasted good.

 

Once done with the dessert, Suguru moved on to making Satoru a warm soup he could easily drink from a mug. He wasn’t sure how heavily a heat could affect the hybrid’s brain or motor functions, but it was better to be safe.

 

Next were the blankets. Suguru decided to pull every single one he owned out from the closet he stored them in. Satoru could use whatever he wanted and washing machines existed for a reason. Whatever comfort Suguru could give him was something he’d do.

 

Even armed with every gift he could give Satoru to help him through, Suguru still hesitated by the door. He’d probably only end up triggering Satoru again, but he couldn’t just keep Satoru isolated, alone and terrified, sure to be listening to his every footstep in horrible anticipation. If he could just somehow get across to Satoru he wouldn’t be a threat, then maybe Satoru wouldn’t be so terrified any longer, even when alone.

 

Suguru knocked before he entered, his hands full of blankets.

 

Satoru looked up at him, blue eyes alight with renewed terror as he lay curled up in his bed, but he didn’t back away. Suguru almost wished he did when the hybrid just made an aborted whimper and buried his face into the few light blankets he had, once again accepting what he believed to be his fate.

 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Suguru whispered as he set the stack of blankets near Satoru’s bed. “I promise. You’re safe now.”

 

Suguru continued to repeat those words over and over in a soothing tone as he then brought in the food and offered it to Satoru.

 

Satoru cracked his eyes open, body tensed and coiled in dread, and peaked up at Suguru and the food he offered. Suguru could swear confusion drifted through Satoru’s eyes as he examined the food before hesitantly leaning forward and sniffing at it.

 

Suguru handed it over and sat by Satoru’s bed as the hybrid began to eat so very cautiously at first, glancing at him every other second, before he began to relax little by little. Despite how nasty Suguru felt by forcing his presence, he stayed. If Satoru could just maybe realize Suguru might not hurt him, then he wouldn’t have to be panicked even when Suguru left. He knew Satoru well enough to have caught on to Satoru always listening for his footsteps. Just because Suguru couldn’t see Satoru’s terror when he’d leave the room didn’t mean it wouldn’t exist.

 

Once Satoru had finished, Suguru slowly reached out his hand and began to pet Satoru’s hair. The hybrid froze, entire body tensed again, but Suguru only threaded his fingers through Satoru’s hair the way Satoru had always adored in the past. Just maybe the food and familiar motions would help Satoru snap out of the past. Surely he had to know Suguru would never hurt him. Surely.

 

A tear ran down Satoru’s cheek as the hybrid began to shake, and Suguru jerked away as if he’d been burned. Satoru didn’t make a sound as he cried and his face didn’t even twist in emotion. He only stared down at the ground, so very small despite his height, as tears streamed down his face.

 

Suguru had only made things worse.

 

He got to his feet, legs shaky, and left the room. He wouldn’t push any more of his attempts at comfort onto Satoru again. Satoru could very easily never trust Suguru fully. Not after his past.

 

Suguru tried to shut out the familiar thoughts that told him to cut and bleed for hurting Satoru. He already knew they’d crop up the second they had a hint of a reason to do them, but Suguru steadied his breathing and tried to think of anything else.

 

He’d tried to help Satoru and it had failed, but he’d tried. That was what was supposed to matter, right? He’d stopped when he’d realized it wasn’t helping. That’s what his therapist would tell him if she was here.

 

He couldn’t let himself spiral. He couldn’t. Satoru needed him even though he didn’t want to see him. Suguru had to be okay enough to make Satoru dinner and offer it to him before making himself scarce again. He couldn’t crumble now out of self pity and guilt.

 

A door opened and Suguru willed himself to turn around normally instead of whipping himself around. Only Satoru and him were in the apartment. Satoru was probably going to use the bathroom or something. He wouldn’t want to see him much less be suddenly noticed.

 

Yet Satoru staggered out into the living room, leaning against the wall for support as he shook. Suguru didn’t dare move a muscle or even breathe in case he’d startle the hybrid, yet Satoru took one strained step after another toward him. Sweaty hair stuck to his feverish forehead and the only sounds Satoru made were small sniffles as he tried to keep his crying quiet.

 

Nothing made sense as Satoru finally reached him and just collapsed on the floor, kneeling with his head bowed as if in subservience. It all felt so wrong, yet Suguru didn’t know what to do or even what was going on.

 

He knelt in front of Satoru whose eyes were skewed shut, and reached out a hand to pet him again. Maybe he’d come out for more even though it scared him, but Satoru flinched away again and Suguru froze.

 

A sob forced its way out of Satoru’s throat as the hybrid forced himself to lean into Suguru’s touch. More tears streamed down the hybrids face and there was something so wrong Suguru couldn’t figure out yet.

 

Satoru’s shaking hands began to undo his shirt and Suguru reeled back as both disgust and horror tore through him. Satoru hadn’t come out for pets or because he’d wanted comfort so badly that he’d forced himself to be brave. He’d come to offer himself up even as he cried and trembled in sheer terror.

 

Had his past abusers made Satoru ‘ask’ for it as well? Had they hurt him to an even greater extent if he didn’t go along with things? Suguru would never know the answers, but he had to stop the hell Satoru was putting himself through.

 

“No. Stop,” Suguru choked out, those simple words the only ones he could think of that Satoru could understand. Satoru froze and only then did Suguru help him to his feet again.

 

He couldn’t take Satoru back to his room, not when it would so easily be interpreted as Suguru wanting to abuse him there, so he led Satoru to the couch instead and sat him down on it.

 

It didn’t take long to turn the TV on and select the show Satoru seemed to enjoy. The smallest hints of life pass through Satoru’s eyes again, and Suguru stood up. He wasn’t done yet.

 

“Stay,” he ordered before he went back to Satoru’s room and retrieved his stress ball, one of his favorite plushies, and one of the spare blankets Satoru hadn’t even touched yet.

 

When he returned, Satoru was still on the couch, and Suguru wrapped Satoru up in the blanket and placed the plushie and ball in his lap. Satoru stared down at the items as if they’d become foreign to him and something that didn’t belong, but Suguru didn’t say a word as he sat on the opposite side of the couch and half watched the show. Satoru was safe with him, even if Satoru might never believe it.

 

Hours passed and Satoru’s eyes began to droop, yet the hybrid fought to keep himself awake, and Suguru’s heart impossibly broke a little more. It wasn’t safe in Satoru’s eyes to make himself even more vulnerable with sleep.

 

“Bedtime,” Suguru whispered as he picked Satoru up and carried him to his room. Satoru stiffened for a second when they entered, but didn’t resist. Suguru almost wished he would, but that wasn’t going to happen yet, so he instead tucked Satoru into bed before he took his leave and closed the door behind him.

 

Without Satoru relying on Suguru to hold himself together, the weight of it all finally hit, and tears began to well up in Suguru’s eyes. Those ‘handlers’ had been nothing but monsters wearing human skin. Yet again, he found himself wondering just why they’d taken such joy in torturing and crushing Satoru, a creature who couldn’t even fight back without being shocked until his skin would sizzle and burn. A creature who’d never be able to utter a word about it all.

 

Maybe that was why. He’d answered his own question, hadn’t he?

 

Suguru locked himself in his room even though no one would try to get in, and let himself finally cry. It wasn’t fair what had happened to Satoru, and no matter what he’d do, he’d never be able to erase what had happened. Satoru’s abusers would never face judgement.

 

The world was unbearably twisted, wasn’t it? Only that could explain the cruelty inflicted upon Satoru and Suguru’s helplessness in the aftermath of it all.

Notes:

surprise clownfish fun facts. the more you know lol

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 22: There's The Previous Me

Satoru woke up the next morning from a hazy sleep in his own bed yet again. Not in a human one or kicked to the floor beside one, but his own bed despite how his thoughts ran syrupy slow and heat pooled in his lower stomach. His shorts stuck to him, not just sweat, but also slick, soaking them through.

 

It hurt. He needed something inside, something to finally relieve the sheer want and need that clawed at him, but it would always hurt when it happened. He didn’t even dare touch himself with how he’d always be found out for it. That would mean that he really did want whatever would happen for it since he’d been asking for it in every single way.

 

Satoru huddled into himself and hugged his own shoulders as he tried to shut off the pure dread that wouldn’t even let him breathe. He needed to use the bathroom, but how could he stagger out when his legs could barely hold him and he’d be seen? He’d be seen and just that may as well be an invitation. He wasn't stupid, he knew humans didn’t need any prompting to use him, but just maybe he could be forgotten about and passed over.

 

That never happened, though. Handlers would so often take him to their own places with full knowledge of his cycle schedule. He couldn’t ever be forgotten when they’d gone out of their way for just that. Just like now, he’d be too weak to properly resist. When they’d shock him, it would only be for their own amusement instead of punishment. Sometimes they’d bring shock rods from work even if they weren’t supposed to just so they could hold it to his far too sensitive sex and shock him there until he’d be screaming and writhing in agony, yet unable to do a thing even between shocks save for crying. They’d tire him out, that alone so easy to do when heats would weigh him down with exhaustion, and his brain would be too scrambled at that point from how much he needed his heat’s demands to be fulfilled that he wouldn’t even be able to resist them when it would finally happen. He’d just lie there, too out of it to even vomit in disgust at how his body would act as if it enjoyed what they did to it.

 

Heats had been hell for Satoru since he was a teenager, but this one…

 

Geto hadn’t touched him yet. It didn’t make sense. He knew the human found him cute with all the cooing comments he’d make and pictures he’d snap. It wasn’t like Satoru would do anything to spoil the image his human had of him when it would make Geto smile to see how adorable Satoru apparently was. But Geto was still a human despite how angelic he acted. Humans had limits and Geto’s hold on his self control would snap eventually. Satoru wasn’t even sure why the human was clinging to it.

 

Did he think Satoru wouldn’t love him after it? That he’d try to run away or hide? He’d already accepted that his dreams of an inhumanly kind Geto would shatter when his heat would come, because that’s just what happened. He was attractive and that’s what humans did with attractive things. He wasn’t sure he’d even be able to hold that against Geto no matter how much it would hurt or how rot and slime would build up under his skin again. That’s how humans worked, and no matter how kind Geto was, that couldn’t change his species and whatever instinctual need they had which drove them to take pleasure in suffering. Yet Geto was trying to suppress it for some reason. It would be like if Satoru couldn’t bite his tail, purr, or sleep as much as he needed. It wasn’t sustainable and his owner was clearly suffering from it.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it was Geto who’d hurt him like that. At least it would make his human happy. At least it would satisfy his human and make him smile even if Satoru would be crying by the end. He’d wanted Geto to finally be happy and maybe he’d rather be beaten or shocked, but maybe that’s why both those options wouldn’t be good enough. His human probably needed something that would shatter Satoru to finally make up for how long he’d suppressed those human urges.

 

Satoru didn’t want to be shattered again, but it wasn’t his choice. It never would be.

 

It would happen soon, he was sure of it. Of course Geto hadn’t taken Satoru up on his offer the other night when he’d tried so hard to be good and just give Geto what the human had to want. He’d just wanted to get it over with because he’d been selfish. He’d wanted to prove that he could be good and that Geto wouldn’t have to barge into his room and demand it of Satoru. But offers no matter how painful or how Satoru had almost thrown up from forcing himself would never be the same as just taking it for themselves. Taking was the whole point, not just the action itself.

 

Footsteps drew near and Geto knocked on his door before he entered. Satoru flinched despite himself as the human entered as his heart hammered in his chest, but he stayed still. He could be good. He had to be even if it would hurt and everything would change.

 

Yet Geto didn’t say a word as he set a steaming mug of soup on the floor beside Satoru along with another dessert before he left just as quickly as he’d entered. No wandering hands, no clothes yanked off, no mocking words about Satoru’s current state. Just more delicious human food Satoru hadn’t earned.

 

Satoru slowly inched toward the food, even the small movement taxing on his body, but it smelled so good. It wasn’t even like there’d be a point in drugging it when Satoru was already so helpless.

 

Once Satoru started eating, he almost seemed to inhale the entire meal from how hungry he’d become. Yet it all hurt. Every delicious bite, the time Geto must have spent to make a dessert when the human didn’t even enjoy them much more than regular food, the way he’d been in and out of Satoru’s room as if not to spook him. Nothing made sense. Just kindness after kindness when it should be the other way round.

 

Satoru didn’t deserve the love he was being showered in when he couldn’t even make his human happy.

 

Satoru curled into himself once he finished eating as he bit the inside of his lip, trying not to cry. Tears so rarely came to him unless he was panicked beyond belief, but during his cycles where his body and mind would spiral out of his control, they came to him so easily. He wasn’t sure why such mercy hurt him as it did, but tears streamed down his face.

 

Eventually, Satoru drifted off into fitful sleep.

 

 

---

Satoru didn’t fully come to again until he found himself in the middle of creating a nest. Heats were often like that for him, gaps in his memory and usually dormant instincts popping up. He began to survey the creation he’d made, a nest a luxury he’d never been allowed.

 

He was pretty sure it wasn’t supposed to appear as though a fort, but he’d never so much as seen one in his entire life even if he must have been automatically making one, a sheet still in his hands, as if he’d somehow known how to all his life.

 

Satoru arranged the sheet just so along the wall of his nest, and for some reason, it settled an itch inside him. As he allowed himself to lay down inside it, for a fleeting moment, he actually relaxed in the safety the nest provided him before he reminded himself it was made of nothing but blankets which could so easily be ripped away. Walls surrounded him, but the inside of all of them seemed to have been arranged with Geto’s own personal spare sheets. It didn’t make sense why the human would let Satoru use them, but he still buried his face in one of them and inhaled. Any scent of Geto on them had long since disappeared, but somehow, it still comforted him. None of it made sense, the walls he’d created screaming that he didn’t want to be touched, that he wasn’t safe, but he still craved the one person he was so terrified of.

 

Time passed, but Satoru couldn’t sleep again with how disgusting he’d become, his skin sticky with sweat and his shorts uncomfortably wet. He peaked over the edge of his nest and listened. Geto didn’t seem to be walking around, so he was probably out of sight somewhere either in the living room or his own bedroom. Satoru had a chance.

 

He gathered a fresh set of clothes before he slowly turned his doorknob so it wouldn’t make a sound, and crept out of his room. His heart pounded even as he reached the bathroom and pulled the door shut behind him. He didn’t dare lock it, not when the refusal of access would only anger Geto if he wanted in, and he made quick work of stripping his clothes. If he could just get in and out of the shower, then that would be less time for Geto’s control to snap.

 

Despite how clothes could so easily be torn away, that last small barrier left cold sweat beading along Satoru’s arms. He didn’t even wait for the water to reach the right temperature before he began scrubbing himself as quickly as he possibly could. Usually, Geto would take off his collar for showering, but Satoru didn’t dare approach him for that. It would all be fine. The collars were made to get wet despite Geto’s worries. Satoru could survive a little dampness around his neck.

 

Nothing happened. Satoru was able to wash himself and change into his fresh set of clothes without so much as hearing footsteps outside in the hallway. Nothing made sense and when Satoru prepared to leave, he peaked out the door and into the hallway.

 

Nothing.

 

Not a single sound was to be heard and Geto nowhere to be seen.

 

Satoru’s heart pounded in his chest yet again. Not because he was scared of Geto finally giving in and taking what was his, but from the human’s absence. He couldn’t have skipped over the best time to have done with Satoru as he pleased. It went against all logic.

 

Satoru crept out, but didn’t dash back to his room. If only he was allowed to speak then he would have at least tried to choke out Geto’s name to make sure the human was still okay. Something had to be wrong for the human not to have had his way with him. Any of Satoru’s previous handlers would have leapt at the opportunity, and maybe Geto wasn’t like that, but he was still human. He wasn’t like Chiyoko’s owner who saw their hybrid as their own child.

 

Geto wasn’t in the living room or kitchen. The entire apartment seemed empty and Satoru couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t like his mind to whirl so loudly he couldn’t even pick out a single thought, but things always became so overwhelming in heats. Geto was gone. He was gone and left Satoru.

 

Satoru barely made it back into the bathroom on shaky legs to vomit into the toilet. His throat burned and he swayed as he got to his feet again and flushed it. Geto had abandoned him or maybe the human was dead since Satoru had been too cowardly and selfish to do his one job. Maybe he was getting friends to come over and —

 

The door to Geto’s room opened and Satoru whipped around to find the human standing there, looking equally shocked to see Satoru in the hallway.

 

Stinging tears began to well up in Satoru’s eyes once again despite himself. His human was okay. His human wasn’t dead and hadn’t abandoned him.

 

“It’s okay, Satoru,” Geto soothed as he backed away, a horribly sad look in his eyes that shouldn’t belong there. “I’ll go back, okay? I won’t touch you, I promise.”

 

Satoru didn’t want Geto to go away. It wasn’t good for his human to be alone, and despite the sheer terror that raced through Satoru’s veins, he stepped forward and plastered himself to Geto in a hug as he finally sobbed.

 

Geto couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t. Satoru didn’t want anyone else aside from his human. Despite the way his heart hammered, Satoru drank in the human’s warmth and scent. Safe. A human felt safe despite the reality of the world Satoru lived in. Even if Geto decided to shatter that safety with his own hands, it would be better than being left behind.

 

“It’s okay, Satoru,” Geto soothed as he hugged him back and began to thread his fingers through Satoru’s hair. If Satoru could just stop sobbing, then the familiar, calming motion would have started a rumbling purr within his chest. Geto always prioritized Satoru’s own comfort through his pets, something Satoru still didn’t understand. “You’re safe. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

 

Satoru wasn’t sure how long he cried, but he was left gasping after it and a pressure that would be sure to bloom into a migraine throbbed behind his puffy eyes. Geto just gave him water and led him back to his room. The human didn’t even say anything about the fort of a nest Satoru had created, but simply tucked him back into bed instead and sat beside him.

 

Satoru slowly relaxed as the human continued to pet his hair, murmuring impossible promises of safety and kindness to Satoru. It couldn’t be true, Satoru’s heat wasn’t over yet, but he allowed himself to believe it. Just for now, he’d let those lies wash over him and lull him to sleep.

 

When Satoru awoke from a sleep deeper than any he’d had for years, Geto was nowhere to be found in his room. Instead, it was dark in his room as Satoru hugged his long, fluffy tail to his chest. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, he must have done it in his sleep, but he didn’t let it go. Instead, he leaned forward and bit the end of it as the impossible reality came to him.

 

Geto hadn’t touched him.

Notes:

sorry for any typos/grammar issues. i'm too tired to really edit this (i was being responsible and doing school work, but now it's 6am and i haven't slept. at least i got to hang out with friends and do what was apparently a week's worth of work in one of my classes today) (can't believe that touching grass takes away from the time i spend writing anime yaoi. i just can't believe this)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 23: I Ask You

Suguru didn’t leave the apartment until Satoru’s heat ended. After Satoru had sobbed into his arms, Suguru hadn’t been able to even stomach the thought of going out for more than a minute just in case Satoru would need him again. He still didn’t know why the hybrid had sought him out despite his panic and belief that Suguru would assault him, but regardless, Satoru had clung to him and only fallen asleep as Suguru had done his best to soothe the hybrid.

 

They still needed to eat, though. Suguru had finished up his typical grocery shopping, but he couldn’t leave it at that as he scoured the general store for some sort of gift to cheer Satoru up. He hadn’t brought the hybrid along because of how jumpy Satoru still was after his heat. A place thrumming with humans would only serve to break him, even if Satoru had just about been plastered to Suguru since his heat had let up.

 

A hybrid scratching post already took up most of the space in Suguru’s shopping cart, but that wasn’t enough when it was just a basic he’d put off getting until Satoru had some claws to speak of. Satoru deserved something extra to help soothe over the unending panic he’d experienced for days on end.

 

Despite all sense, Suguru found himself deliberating over a selection of Digimon plushies he’d stumbled upon. Satoru loved that show, even if it was probably just the colors and movement that kept his attention. The hybrid wouldn’t even make the correlation between one of the themed plushies and what he saw on screen. It was like showing Cocomelon to a toddler, really. Satoru just couldn’t comprehend what he was seeing beyond the visual stimulus.

 

Satoru did love plushies, though. Satoru loved to hug them to his chest in sleep while curled up in his bed.

 

With that thought in mind, Suguru picked the most colorful Digimon plushie and placed it in his cart. Maybe only he’d know the correlation, but Satoru would end up liking it regardless. A plushie or toy was the least he could get Satoru as a pick-me-up.

 

The last thing Suguru bought was a carton of ice cream. He couldn’t make that treat by himself and Satoru was sure to love it with the way he seemed to vastly prefer sweets above any other food. Pushing his last shreds of dignity aside, Suguru chose a bubble gum flavor of ice cream. He wouldn’t even try it, not when the combination of two incredibly sweet things was enough to make just about any adult nauseous, but he had the sneaking suspicion it would be exactly what Satoru wanted. Plus, gum was the last thing Suguru would ever let Satoru try. The hybrid would probably either swallow it, or if he somehow got the message across that he had to only chew it, then it would surely end up matted in his tail. Satoru would throw an internal fit if Suguru had to cut some of his fur to get it out.

 

The drive home took Suguru longer than he would have liked due to the work on power lines around the area. At least he’d managed to finally get replacement tires after his had been slashed for no reason, maybe his car had been confused with another person’s who’d cheated on their ex or something, but by the time he finally arrived home, he was starting to think that walking would have been quicker.

 

Suguru didn’t even get the door closed behind him before Satoru ambushed him, all beaming smiles and a perked up, swishing tail. Suguru laughed as Satoru brushed all over him, so obviously re-scenting him and claiming Suguru as his. He’d heard of some cats doing such things to treasured owners, and he tried to keep himself still until Satoru had sufficiently laid cat claim to him. To other hybrids, he probably reeked of Satoru.

 

Satoru had impossibly gotten closer to Suguru after his heat. If he’d already thought Satoru had been his own personal shadow and snuggle bug, then the old Suguru had been wrong. These days, Satoru just about draped himself over Suguru or commandeered his lap whenever they were both on the couch. He’d trip Suguru up in the kitchen on a regular basis with how closely he’d follow. On top of that, Suguru was now very aware of just how soft and fluffy Satoru’s tail truly was with the way it would almost always be brushing against him and how Satoru would insist on his tail being brushed at least once a day now, the hybrid going so far as to push the grooming brush into Suguru’s hands and then leaping into Suguru’s lap and purring like there was no tomorrow as he’d wait for Suguru to inevitably obey his every command.

 

Suguru was starting to think he was being made into Satoru’s pet instead of the other way round.

 

Yet Satoru’s newfound behavior didn’t point to entirely good things. It was just like how Satoru had warmed up to him in what Suguru could only call infatuated gratitude after he’d replaced Satoru’s old human bed with a hybrid one. This behavior hadn’t been slowly formed after months or even years of them growing close, but had changed near overnight.

 

Satoru had expected Suguru to horrifically abuse him during his heat, hadn’t he? He must have been so terrified even though he’d somehow loved Suguru in his own way before it. Once again, Suguru could only ask himself why. Why Satoru would hold any affection for him when he’d believed Suguru would take advantage of his heat. What had been done to Satoru until the hybrid expected the abuse, until he’d offered himself up to Suguru because that’s what the hybrid just thought happened during heats.

 

He’d never get answers to those questions, would he?

 

Satoru’s tail curled around Suguru’s leg as the hybrid bent down in an attempt to peek into the bags in Suguru’s hands, blue eyes twinkling with curiosity.

 

“Okay, okay, let me put them down,” Suguru started as he placed the bags down before he pulled out the plushie he’d gotten. “I got you a present.”

 

Satoru’s eyes went wide as he stared at the plushie, and Suguru handed it over. He left Satoru to sniff at it and survey his new addition to his growing plushie entourage as Suguru retrieved the scratching post from the car and brought it inside.

 

Satoru looked up and stared at it as if it were the most alien thing he’d ever seen. Surely they must have at least had a few at that facility no matter how corrupt. It at least would help the hybrids there in keeping their claws at a healthy length.

 

“It’s a scratching post. Thought you might want one since your claws are growing back,” Suguru explained even though Satoru couldn’t understand a word. It still helped to talk to himself despite the time that had passed. “Do you really not know what it is?”

 

Satoru just blankly stared at him.

 

Suguru sighed. He’d heard cats learned best by mimicking what they saw, and seeing as it was only him and Satoru, and only one of them seemed to know what a scratching post was…

 

“You use it to scratch. It should feel good on your nails,” Suguru started as he dragged his own across it. He tried not to frown at the odd feeling or flinch from the unwavering gaze trained on him. “Doesn’t feel great for me since I’m human, but I’ve heard it’s great for hybrids and cats especially.”

 

Satoru inched closer, his gaze darting between where Suguru was attempting to scratch at it and Suguru’s face as if asking for permission. Knowing Satoru, he probably was, and Suguru nodded before he backed away.

 

Satoru very carefully placed his fingertips against the material and sniffed at it before he finally tried to scratch at it. The effect was immediate. His eyes widened and ears perked up. All too soon, scratching sounds filled the apartment as Satoru began to tear away at it with both hands, having switched to holding his new plushie in his mouth. Suguru almost laughed when Satoru just about dropped the plushie from smiling so wide, the scratching post apparently euphoric for him.

 

Suguru put away the new groceries and moved the scratching post to Satoru’s room. As much as he loved Satoru, he couldn’t keep tripping over the hybrid as he worked in the kitchen, so he put on Digimon and told Satoru to stay on the couch as he worked on dinner.

 

He’d forgotten how quickly he could work in the kitchen without a certain someone hanging off him, even if he did enjoy it in the mornings when food would be less complicated to make.

 

Once he finished, he looked up to call Satoru over, only for the words to dry up on his tongue. Satoru sat on the couch, eyes wide as he watched the episode with the new Digimon plushie held in his lap. The same exact character was on screen, too.

 

Suguru’s heart was going to melt from a cuteness overload.

 

Satoru must have been so absorbed in the show that he didn’t even pick up on the shutter sound of Suguru’s camera as he took a quick picture of Satoru just to immediately send to Shoko. He was definitely going to get it printed out so he could hang it up in the house. He needed all the little reminders of happiness he could get.

 

It didn’t take long for Shoko to respond.

 

Lady Scratchalot wasn’t in the mood for photographs

 

An accompanying two pictures sent, one a blur of fluffy gray which, if Suguru squinted, could be made out as a very upset cat launching themselves at the camera, and the second one was of Shoko herself, new scratch marks on her arms. Suguru huffed out a laugh. Shoko would never choose another cat, but she’d really picked quite the character.

 

Despite the adorable scene in front of him, the food was going cold, and Suguru called Satoru over for dinner. He could almost breathe a sigh of relief at how Satoru’s happy little reactions to food were diminishing little by little. As much as Suguru loved to be complimented on his cooking, it meant that Satoru was slowly becoming accustomed to actual food instead of chemical sludge.

 

When Suguru gave Satoru his first bowl of ice cream though, the effect was immediate. Blue eyes went wide as they sparkled and Satoru’s ears perked up. The hybrid started to sway back and forth with happiness as he ate, seemingly torn on devouring the bowl or savoring each bite. He’d been right that Satoru would love something so childishly sweet.

 

Right enough that as Suguru went to put the carton back into the freezer, Satoru stared after it wistfully, so obviously begging for more.

 

Suguru knew he shouldn’t, Satoru’s health was important, but how could he say no when Satoru was finally learning how to ask for things? It wasn’t like an extra scoop would do any harm.

 

Satoru’s eyes lit up as Suguru relented. He was creating a monster, yet he didn’t care. In fact, Suguru found himself smiling even though he wasn’t the one getting a treat. He wouldn’t trade Satoru or the new life he had with him for anything. Everything became right in the world when Satoru was at his side.

 

Could he call the contentment happiness? It wasn’t a word or emotion Suguru threw around casually these days. He could feel excitement, anticipation, even find things to be humorous, but happiness? That was something different.

 

With Satoru, though… With Satoru, just maybe he’d finally found happiness even if he couldn’t properly feel it, that emotion cut off from him years ago. For Suguru though, that was more than enough. He’d change his mind later in an episode, but for now, he was content to be alive.

Notes:

sorry for the shorter chapter, but i think that can be reasonably explained by what happened today. so, i don't know who remembers how i mentioned in my notes around two weeks ago about that freak headache i had (and should have gone to the ER for, but i live in america so i was too scared of money to go). so i finally had my doctor's appointment today for it and it was indeed a thunderclap headache, which i had figured out pretty easily but didn't want to say for sure one way or another. yet american health insurance strikes once again and i can't get a CT scan as insurance would not cover it at this point. the reason i'd want a CT scan, and the reason i should have gone to the ER which my doctor said i should do if it happens again, is because there's around a 25% chance that the cause of the thunderclap headache could be a brain hemorrhage/stroke. that's why i was freaked out, but uhhh... i'll have to just stay anxious because i guess we'll never know the cause since i can't get a scan done. i might have actual brain damage now that ISN'T from copious amounts of anime yaoi. but seriously though, since it happened my reaction times/coordination have been a bit off, but subtly enough that only i'd be able to notice it. if i'd been able to get a CT scan, there's a good chance i could have had the most glorious ao3 author notes of my life (i know the situation is serious, but it was the one thing i could comfort myself with while waiting. and now i don't even have that. yippee)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 24: Please

Satoru lay stretched out on the couch, his head resting in Geto’s nap as he let himself nap off and on. Every so often he’d stir awake to Geto petting his hair between the paragraphs he typed up for his job, laptop balanced precariously on his lap just so Satoru’s head could also rest on it.

 

He’d never been happier or safer in his life than when he was with Geto. Geto hadn’t so much as touched him his entire heat even though he’d been given every single opportunity to. Satoru had already accepted it would happen when that was just what humans did, when that temptation would surely be the thing to finally override the impossible kindness Geto held onto, yet it hadn’t. All Satoru remembered amidst the panic and burning need was how calmly Geto had assured him that everything was alright. How the human had brought him blankets and Satoru’s favorite foods to comfort him. How when he’d tried to be good and offer himself up, Geto had instead wrapped Satoru up in blankets and let him watch TV in some attempt to calm and distract him.

 

Didn’t humans love to see things like him in pain or misery? Geto could have done nothing and just watched, he could have simply refueled himself from Satoru’s panic and flashbacks, but he hadn’t. He’d gone out of his way to help Satoru instead.

 

His human had to be an angel. Just maybe since Geto hadn’t touched him during Satoru’s heat, then it wouldn’t ever happen. The notion was ridiculous when Satoru knew just how his looks appealed to humans, but the worst possible situation had already happened and Geto hadn’t given in.

 

Satoru couldn’t help but smile to himself as he let the idea of being Geto’s pet forever fill his mind. He’d thought the most he could ever ask for was to stay in that cage to be looked at and largely ignored by handlers if he was really lucky.

 

He’d never thought happiness was an emotion hybrids like him could have within their grasp instead of snuck in fleeting moments while making the best of things. He’d already accepted back then that the best moments of his life had been when he’d raised Yuuta between trainings and punishments.

 

But this? Satoru would have never believed something so wonderful could ever be in store for him.

 

Satoru’s musing were shattered as Geto so very carefully got up, obviously trying not to jostle him too much, but Satoru frowned. He glanced at the clock and it wasn’t dinner time yet, so it didn’t make sense for Geto to go somewhere.

 

Obviously, he followed his human.

 

All too soon, the bathroom door was shut in his face. Satoru gaped at the wood in front of him, his human still seemingly hung up on things like privacy even though everything was better when they were together. Satoru scowled at the offending barrier that was keeping him from his human, even if only for a few minutes, and he began to knock on it. He wanted in.

 

“Satoru, no,” Geto called from inside, right in the middle of his business. “I’m just using the bathroom.”

 

Satoru didn’t care. Everything was fun if it was with his human, and Geto seemed to share the same sentiment most of the time unless it was with weird hang-ups like this.

 

Whatever. Satoru would find his own way. He crouched down on the floor and began to stick his fingers underneath the door. If Geto wanted him gone, then he’d have to work harder for it. Why couldn’t he see how much Satoru always wanted to be with him no matter what they were doing?

 

Water rushed as Geto washed his hands.

 

“Satoru, I’m going to open the door,” Geto warned. Satoru withdrew his fingers and backed away just enough for Geto to get out. He’d been deprived of his human for two minutes too long.

 

Geto just sighed as he walked out and leveled Satoru with an exasperated look. Yet fear didn’t paralyze Satoru even as Geto reached out a hand toward him. Anyone else would have hit or beaten him until he’d barely be able to move, but Geto just pet his hair instead.

 

Satoru leaned into the touch as he happily chirped. His Geto was back with him and kind as always. Satoru seized the opportunity to scent the human again, who he did admit already reeked with his scent, but a little more never hurt. Every single hybrid who so much as walked past them would know just who Geto belonged to like this. They wouldn’t dare even look at him for more than a fleeting second with the way Satoru had laid claim to him. Geto was his human only.

 

“So spoiled,” Geto sighed even as he bared his neck so Satoru could nuzzle against it better. Despite his words, a small smile graced Geto’s lips, and Satoru’s heart leapt. He was doing that. “What am I going to do with you?”

 

Preferably not lock him out again, though Satoru had the feeling that would still happen. His human needed to stop being so shy and modest around Satoru.

 

Satoru’s ears perked up as Geto picked up the grooming brush on his way back to the couch. His human really did know him and exactly what he wanted. Satoru beamed as he sat himself down on Geto’s lap and plastered himself against the human. Geto’s shoulder was the most perfect pillow in existence along with his lap.

 

“You really do seem to enjoy this,” Geto muttered to himself as he began to brush in those long, soothing strokes that followed the direction of how Satoru’s fur grew. Satoru let his eyes flutter shut as a purr began to rumble in his chest. He could still force one if he needed to, but as time went on, he’d been doing so less and less. If anything, he sometimes had to turn it off with the way Geto always made him so unbelievably safe and happy.

 

Satoru let himself melt into a purring goo as Geto brushed out his tail. It was like the human knew exactly how it was to be brushed in such a way, but that was impossible. Humans didn’t even like their hair to be pet, the notion ridiculous to Satoru when surely Geto had to be itching for his long hair to be properly taken care of by Satoru.

 

Humans were weird.

 

Satoru was halfway through the action when he realized what exactly he was doing. He started at where he’d begun to lick at Geto’s neck in some attempt to groom the human in reciprocation, except things once again didn’t work like that because Geto wasn’t a hybrid even though he acted too kind to be truly human.

 

Despite the way Geto must have hated having Satoru’s saliva on him, he only continued to brush his tail. No beatings or shocks. Not even a reaction. Geto was choosing to entertain Satoru instead of hurting him.

 

Satoru wouldn’t have believed such a thing possible just months ago. Humans weren’t kind, but Geto was still brushing him with the care he always did. Even if Geto finally hurt Satoru as he should, Satoru couldn’t even imagine becoming fearful or angry any longer. He’d finally be able to repay his human for the kindnesses he’d been showered in.

 

A small smile crept across Satoru’s lips as he thought of Geto shocking him over and over again. Even then, Geto would probably punish him right and let Satoru gasp for air between rounds so he wouldn’t suffocate. His human was thoughtful and smart like that. Satoru would probably be able to sneak little glimpses of the smile sure to come across Geto’s face at Satoru’s pain, and that alone would be enough to keep Satoru clinging to consciousness so the session could last longer. Unconscious hybrids weren’t fun hybrids, and when the time came, Satoru would be the best hybrid Geto could ever ask for because he loved his human more than anything else.

 

Satoru tried not to pout when Geto put down the brush. He wasn’t ready to climb off his human’s lap. Once he did, Geto would probably go back to work despite the shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep and how he never let himself rest.

 

His human just needed to take a nap, and maybe Satoru couldn’t force Geto into bed and then tuck him in like the human so often did for him, but he could at least make sure Geto wouldn’t do anything silly like go back to work.

 

Satoru closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. It really was that simple, even if he had problems fighting down a smirk as Geto sighed in exasperation. The human seemed to have some personal rule about not letting himself get up if Satoru was asleep in his lap, which was what Satoru specifically needed to take advantage of.

 

His human would rest if it was the last thing Satoru did.

 

Minutes ticked by and Satoru almost cheered when he realized Geto’s breathing had gone deep and even as the human completely relaxed under him. Satoru dared to open his eyes and glance at his human, only to almost ruin it all with his reaction.

 

His human was adorable. There really was no other descriptor for it.

 

Geto’s face had finally gone lax and he’d never seen his human look so at peace. Black lashes fanned across his cheeks and the human shifted ever so slightly toward Satoru as if seeking him out. Sleeping in Geto’s bed at night would be worth the panic and nightmares of the past so long as Geto would hold him in sleep like he was now. It wasn’t like the human had a tail to hug.

 

Satoru wrapped his tail around Geto and allowed himself to doze off as well. He’d get rid of those eyebags some day, one forced nap at a time.

 

 

---

They ended up having a late dinner after their shared nap, and just as always, Geto had made all the food heavenly. Satoru watched his human wash the dishes as he hugged him from behind, his chin perched on his human’s shoulder so he could see what he was doing better. Geto was good in the kitchen and had a job on top of it. Why didn’t his human have a mate? Satoru corrected himself. Humans liked the term partner.

 

Geto could provide and also cook amazing meals. Of course, he was so kind that anyone should be throwing themselves at him, but humans so often used others for their own gain, so he could see how they might not be attracted to that once they’d gotten what they’d wanted. His human was the perfect candidate for a lifetime partner, so why was he still alone?

 

Yet for some reason, Satoru couldn’t stomach the thought of someone else encroaching on the space they shared. Satoru had his human all to himself. He should dislike the idea because another human would surely never be as kind as Geto and would treat Satoru the way he was made to be dealt with, but a partner would steal away Geto’s attention and time. Somehow, the second possibility was far worse to Satoru.

 

The selfish wish that Geto would remain single forever wouldn’t leave Satoru’s mind. He wanted to be Geto’s one and only life partner, even if as a pet. He’d die before the human so long as he did his job to keep Geto from committing suicide, but that was common. Hybrids didn’t get the same fancy medical treatment humans did. All that care and money would be wasted on him.

 

Then again, no human was worthy of his owner anyway. Geto was better off without a subpar human when he had Satoru to keep him company.

 

Everything continued as normal for their night until Geto brought out a bag. Satoru peered in to catch a glance of what it could be before Suguru laughed and pulled a box out. Satoru’s mind screeched to a halt as he read the writing on the box. Paired with the image on it, he couldn’t possibly be mistaken on what it was.

 

A remote controlled mouse toy specifically made for hybrid felines.

 

Doubt crept into Satoru as he watched Geto unbox the contraption. Playing was still a behavior he refrained from whenever possible. Once in a while he’d go a little stir crazy and bat some hybrid toys around or entertain himself with that squeaky mouse toy Geto had bought him, but he always held himself back. He knew how stupid he looked when he gave into his instincts. Enough of an animal to be inferior to humans, but also human enough that pouncing around after mere toys was something to be mocked.

 

Yet when Geto placed the mouse on the floor and began to control it, the toy zipping around the room just like a real mouse, Satoru couldn’t look away. His tail swished back and forth as he drank in every movement. It wasn’t real and he knew that, but whether he could eat it or not wasn’t the point. He could swear his bones itched to finally just go after it. To give in.

 

Echoes of mocking laughter rang in his ears. Jeering of how stupid he looked as someone filmed him. The way shocks of electricity would seize up his body when he refused to play because of the humiliation that would wash over him as they agreed he really was just an animal and nothing more. He couldn’t even argue against it in his own head when he’d been acting just like one.

 

Satoru glanced at Geto. His human was kind and wouldn’t force him to play. Geto had discovered Satoru with that dead bird and hadn’t said a single mocking word about it. He’d just told Satoru to eat it since it was already dead. Maybe his owner believed him to be a dumb animal, but at least that was allowed. At least Geto accepted Satoru for what he believed him to be.

 

Geto wouldn’t mock him. He wouldn’t send burning humiliation through him.

 

Finally, Satoru pounced. The mouse zipped away just in time, and Satoru looked at Geto again. His human wasn’t leering at him. Instead, he was wearing one of those small smiles as he gave Satoru an encouraging nod.

 

Satoru took a deep breath. He trusted Geto. He could allow himself to have fun.

 

It wasn’t easy to chase after the toy at first as doubt after doubt would creep into his mind. That Geto would hate him after because of how dumb and stupid he was. That he’d look up and Geto would start mocking him, yet none of that happened.

 

Satoru bumped into the kitchen table head first as he lunged after the toy.

 

A small laugh sounded, but it wasn’t like the one Satoru had been expecting. No sharp smugness poisoned it, and when Satoru looked at Geto, the smile his human wore was warm, just like the ones he sometimes made when he thought Satoru looked extra cute.

 

“Careful, Satoru. Don’t hurt yourself,” Geto reminded him even though the human had no idea Satoru could understand him. It wasn’t even been the pain that had made Geto happy.

 

It finally clicked for Satoru. Geto was having fun with this as well as he controlled the mouse to run away. His human wouldn’t be able to play with it himself, just like Satoru couldn’t play with most of his own toys by himself either. It wasn’t Geto having Satoru play, but the two of them doing it together.

 

Satoru completely gave in after that and joy bubbled up in his chest as he clambered around the apartment in chase of the mouse as Geto laughed with a beaming smile of his own. His owner was happy and having fun because of him. Satoru being a hybrid who liked to chase things was making that smile possible.

 

By the time they finished, chairs had toppled over and Satoru was pretty sure he’d pushed the couch a few inches forward from running into it in pursuit of his fake prey. Yet he couldn’t stop smiling and not a single hint of humiliation poisoned his mind. With Geto, there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came to being a hybrid. Nothing at all.

Notes:

i tried to edit this, but to be honest, i have such a bad migraine that i'm about to vomit from the pain, so i probably missed some things. i hope this chapter still turned out okay, though. i don't know why, but i feel like all my writing has been falling flat lately

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 25: Keep Silent

Suguru was pretty sure he was the one leashed, not Satoru, as they walked to the park together. The sun beamed down on them and maybe it would have been quicker to drive, but Satoru had been fighting down the zoomies for the day and would probably go stir crazy in the car. Plus, Suguru could use the exercise himself. Lifting weights alone would only do so much.

 

Satoru darted back and forth along the sidewalk, anything and everything catching his attention as blue eyes sparkled in delight. As cute as the scene was and despite how Suguru couldn’t help but smile, it wasn’t all good. Satoru had only come out of his shell after his heat. He would have never done this before, and after everything that had happened, Suguru knew why. Satoru had still been living in fear of what he’d believed to happen during heats. Living in fear of what he’d expected Suguru to do to him.

 

He pushed the thought out of his mind. What mattered most was how Satoru finally felt safe and happy. Possibly for the first time in the hybrid’s life, as heartbreaking as the thought was.

 

Suguru’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Kana must have arrived at the park, then. They’d agreed to try and coordinate when they could so their hybrids could play together. Unfortunately, he’d missed the last time because of Satoru’s heat.

 

As they walked through the gates to the hybrid park, hybrids steered clear of Suguru as if an invisible barrier had been erected around him. Odd. He didn’t think he was that intimidating. He’d taken a shower too and everything.

 

And Satoru was currently looking far too smug with himself, his chest all puffed up as he wrapped his tail around Suguru’s arm.

 

Right. He’d taken a shower that morning just for Satoru to pounce on him the second he’d gotten out, which hadn’t been surprising since Satoru had been sticking his fingers underneath the door the entire time, and promptly scented him all over to the point Suguru had been smothered in one very clingy hybrid.

 

“Satoru,” Suguru sighed in complaint as he reached up to unhook Satoru’s leash and then scratched his head. Satoru was becoming a terror. A very sweet one, though. “Go play and have fun, okay?”

 

Suguru watched Satoru bound away, probably in search of Chiyoko, and Suguru began to scan the benches to find Kana. It didn’t take long to find her, and he walked over to sit beside her. It would probably be good to actually talk to another human again.

 

“It looks like Satoru’s doing well,” she remarked as he sat beside her. “You mentioned it being a tough heat for him, the poor thing.”

 

Suguru nodded, but didn’t say anything. Somehow, it felt almost invasive to tell her about what had happened. What Satoru had undoubtedly gone through.

 

“If your schedule is free, my husband is open to dropping by your place tomorrow to help with your locks,” Kana continued, oblivious to what Suguru had been thinking about. “Snow leopard hybrids aren’t easy to come by, and I know most hybrids are seemingly stolen at random, but he could catch the eye of someone wanting to make easy money.”

 

Suguru nodded. Even while just napping Satoru had caught his attention. “Thank you. I’d appreciate the help. If someone took Satoru…”

 

If someone took Satoru, he wasn’t sure what he’d do once it hit him that he wouldn’t be able to get Satoru back. Satoru had so quickly become the light in Suguru’s life, a beacon that guided Suguru to the possibility of happiness despite the cruel life Satoru had survived.

 

“I wonder what he did when he was younger to make his price drop…” Kana wondered to herself as they watched Satoru and Chiyoko play together. The two acted strange with each other, always huddled together and so rarely playing in the way any other animal would.

 

Suguru frowned. He wouldn’t be surprised if Satoru’s so-called ‘aggression’ was the hybrid trying to defend itself before they’d finally broken him into pieces. “I’m sure now that he was severely abused. There just… There isn’t any other explanation that makes sense. I wouldn’t be surprised if they lied or exaggerated about his responses to single him out. I saw records of him being taken home with handlers for one on one training.”

 

One on one ‘training’ where they’d tortured him. Where they’d taken from him in the worst, most reprehensible ways possible. Satoru had gone through pure hell on earth.

 

“The collars made it obvious enough,” she spat, her eyes alight in a rare fire. If she knew any more details, Suguru wouldn’t be surprised if she walked right into one of those facilities with the objective of arson. “I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, so I called, but all they did was try to send me another one as if I’d ever want to shock Chiyoko again. I’ve been posting about it, but they all get taken down.”

 

“They get taken down?” Suguru echoed as he turned to her with wide eyes. He wasn’t on social media, but even he had an idea of what that meant.

 

Kana nodded. “At first it took a few hours, but at this point, it won’t even take them five minutes. All I’ve been able to do is message my friends and groups about it. They’ve all found burns or even scars from it on their hybrids. Everyone I’ve told. Faulty collar my —”

 

Kana cleared her throat.

 

“Anyway,” she continued, seemingly put together again if it weren’t for the murderous look in her eye, “they’re definitely watching my account now. But the news has been spreading like fire through hybrid owner groups. I’d like to see them try to stamp out all of us.”

 

“It is true that the only verified and studied information about hybrids are from those facilities. All we know about them is from businesses,” Suguru started as he slowly pieced together a picture he didn’t like. Technically, there wasn’t a monopoly on hybrids, but even businesses could cooperate if driven by profit attained through cutting corners.

 

Their conversation lulled for a moment. Satoru and Chiyoko had begun to explore the area of the park right before the small wooded section. Suguru had looked it up and at least there didn’t seem to be any rules about hybrids snatching up birds in the park. Even if they had another hunting incident, things would be fine.

 

“Wait,” Kana finally said, interrupting the silence as she turned to him. Her eyes had gone wide. “You said the handlers had taken Satoru home with them.”

 

“Several times,” he confirmed. He stared down at his lap. It wasn’t his fault, he hadn’t even known about Satoru’s existence back then, but who else was supposed to watch out for him? “I was going through his records. His behavior greatly ‘improved’ after the first time, but they just kept taking him.”

 

“You said you’re sure now of him being… after his heat…” Kana breathed, her face white as a sheet and eyes filled with horror.

 

Suguru hadn’t meant for her to find out, but she’d pieced the situation together herself, and he nodded. She didn’t have to know about Satoru’s sheer terror, his tears, or how he’d tried to offer himself as if scared he’d be punished even more cruelly for not doing so.

 

Oblivious to their conversation, Satoru had taken to chasing after a butterfly all while Chiyoko followed behind him, a huge beaming smile on her face. At the moment, Satoru didn’t appear to have a care in the world. It would be so easy to assume by watching the two that they’d lived a pampered life full of nothing but doting owners and comfortable homes, but it would be the farthest thing from the truth.

 

Yet trauma wasn’t the only thing that defined a person. People could go through hell itself and still smile and laugh, still forge on with their lives and form wonderful memories.

 

But Satoru was a hybrid. Not a person no matter how much Suguru kept thinking he was before he’d catch himself. Just a hybrid. It wouldn’t be fair to treat Satoru like a human. Regardless, hybrid or not, Satoru was strong even if he should have never been forced to be in the first place. Satoru was finding joy and choosing to form connections again despite everything he’d endured.

 

“I don’t think Chiyoko’s shown any signs, but… but,” Kana started, her voice barely a whisper. Her eyes swam with tears. “But she always keeps everything to herself. She’s, she’s never complained about a thing or shown me anything but love, so what if —”

 

Kana’s breath began to come in quick, shallow heaves for air. Suguru had reacted similarly when he’d figured things out as well.

 

“Kana? Kana, breathe,” Suguru began as he held her shoulder. This wasn’t a good place to have a breakdown. “You don’t know that for sure. She has you now, doesn’t she?”

 

Kana managed a nod, but even Suguru knew how useless his words were. Maybe both their hybrids had futures now, but that alone wouldn’t erase their pasts. Nothing would. Hybrids or not, the memories and feelings would stay with them forever.

 

“I know, but —” Kana started.

 

Two familiar running figures bounded up to them, huge smiles on both Satoru’s and Chiyoko’s faces as Satoru held something trapped in his hands as his tail swished back and forth.

 

“Satoru, what do you have there?” Suguru asked with a small smile.

 

The second Satoru opened them, a yellow butterfly fluttered out, the same one they must have just been chasing. So he’d managed to catch it and also not kill it. Suguru reached forward to scratch at Satoru’s ears to tell him in his own way how much he appreciated it.

 

Seemingly satisfied with showing them the butterfly, the two began to walk away again. Suguru was just about to turn back to Kana, who was finally looking a little better, when he noticed Chiyoko glancing back at them, a concerned look on her face.

 

Just as quickly as Suguru had seen the emotion, it vanished as if he’d imagined it all. He had to be seeing things.

 

“I think they’re having fun,” Suguru began, the conversation topic weak, but at least lighter than what they had been discussing. Kana would need some time to collect herself again, but Suguru would do his best to keep her from spiraling in thought again. It was the least he could do.

 

 

---

Suguru left hours later in the afternoon, but Satoru hadn’t seemed to have lost any of his energy yet. Which Suguru could easily blame on the nap Satoru had indulged in as he’d laid stretched out in the sun as if drinking up the light.

 

At least Satoru wouldn’t scratch the furniture like actual cats if he still had the zoomies once they got home. Though it would be wise for Suguru to prepare himself for another sleepless night punctuated by the squeaky toy mouse Satoru was playing with more and more these days.

 

All the warning Suguru got for nearly having his arm pulled out of its socket from Satoru dashing away were two fluffy ears perking up as a mouse scuttled into an alleyway. Suguru held onto the leash for dear life as he tried to keep up with the hybrid, Satoru’s usual restraint overridden by instinct and pent up energy.

 

“Satoru! Stop!” Suguru yelled. He didn’t like the look of the alleyway or how far from the street they were. It just wasn’t smart to be in such a place.

 

Satoru froze and looked back at Suguru as he pouted, his lower pink lip jutted out in displeasure. Suguru sighed as he massaged his temples. He’d have to figure out a way to get Satoru to understand he wasn’t allowed to go darting off when they were on the street.

 

“It’s dangerous here,” he chided as he began to walk back toward the street. Satoru’s eyes went wide, dangerous one of the words the manuel claimed they understood, and the hybrid began to glance around the alleyway. Aside from being an animal, it wasn’t like Satoru could have ever known. Hybrids weren’t exactly taken outside the facility or taught basic street rules. “We could get mugged —”

 

The words dried on Suguru’s tongue as he heard footsteps behind them. Before he could turn around with a pasted-on smile, the click of a switchblade punctured the air as a threat, and Suguru froze, Satoru along with him. If he cooperated, they’d probably be fine.

 

Suguru was pretty sure this wasn’t what his therapist had meant when she’d explained self fulfilling prophecies.

Notes:

so yeah, it's been a little too fluffy and happy these last few chapters, so we're going back to the regularly scheduled angst and general agony here. i may have a habit of preceding every major development that has angst and suffering with a lot of fluff (not to soften the blow, but to make it worse actually, because non-stop angst will become dull and boring unless you get a glimpse of happiness just for it to be snatched away to show you what you COULD have)

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Chapter 26: Cover My Mouth

Satoru couldn’t breathe. A masked man held a knife, the point of it less than an inch from Geto’s back. It was all his fault, wasn’t it? He’d been the one stupid enough to run off after a mouse just because he’d wanted to. Yet now he understood how such a closed off place could be dangerous.

 

Satoru didn’t dare move even as a human behind him placed a knife to Satoru’s throat. He couldn’t stop staring at the other one who was threatening Geto, who could so very well hurt his human if Satoru so much as breathed wrong.

 

“No one has to get hurt,” the man behind Satoru said as he began to drag Satoru back. “All we want is your hybrid and you can go on your way. Maybe don’t flaunt around an expensive one again, though.”

 

Expensive? It wasn’t like they could know how his price had plummeted, and if they planned to sell him illegally…

 

Satoru’s heart hammered out of his chest and he glanced at the hands of the humans. No marks like the ones Yuuta had described were etched into them. Even as Satoru cooperated, he didn’t want to go. Would it be better if they slashed his throat than if things went back to how they should be? Would it be better to die than have Geto be replaced by shock collars and an owner who’d love his heats?

 

In the end, it didn’t matter what Satoru wanted. Whatever happened, it would be worth it so long as Satoru’s cooperation meant Geto would be okay. His human could go back home like nothing had ever happened and soon forget about the broken hybrid he’d once taken care of. Things didn’t have to be okay for Satoru, so long as Geto could keep living.

 

Yet it was Geto who turned around to stare at Satoru, his eyes wide as his hands shook. For once, Satoru let their gazes lock, and a jolt went through him. His human looked desperate as his eyes began to fill with tears and he reached out before being reminded of the knife pointed at his back.

 

Satoru didn’t understand. He was a hybrid, and hybrids were just dumb animals to humans, so why —

 

Geto would die without him.

 

Geto would have another episode and there’d be no one to help him or hold him at night if he broke down. There’d be no one to stop him or force him to eat. No one at all, and Geto would succeed in his attempt to kill himself. His corpse would be found rotting in the apartment, and it would all be Satoru’s fault.

 

Satoru finally moved. The knife at his throat stung before he got the chance to grab the arm holding it and bite into the flesh. For once in his life, he could be grateful to his collar for largely shielding the most vital veins in his neck.

 

Sweet blood filled his mouth as the human screamed, but he wasn’t doing it for the taste. Satoru tore an entire chunk out of the man’s arm before he launched himself at the human whose knife was still pointed at Geto, but frozen in shock.

 

Now that he had a full view, there seemed to be three humans who’d attacked them, but Satoru didn’t have time to dwell on the odds as he dug his claws into the man’s face. Geto would surely rip out his nails after this, have his teeth filed down and his collar reactivated, but it didn’t matter. So long as he kept his human safe, then he wouldn’t be able to regret a thing.

 

“He’s fucking rabid!” one of the men screamed as he held his still bleeding arm.

 

That’s how they’d always described him back at the facility, and maybe they were right. Satoru had never planned on going back to being like this, but he wouldn’t let them hurt Geto. He refused to let that happen.

 

Satoru only saw the last man pull out an all too familiar looking shocking prod for a second before white hot electricity streaked through his body. He couldn’t breathe as his muscles locked up and pain whited out his vision.

 

Then it was over far sooner than Satoru had thought. The world swayed, but he couldn’t fall. He couldn’t.

 

“Stop fighting,” one of the men grunted. It didn’t make sense. Satoru could barely even stay on his own two feet. “Your feral pet’s muscles are probably too locked up for him to even fall over.”

 

Satoru stumbled toward the noise, his sight blurry, and sank his teeth into the man’s neck, just shy of his jugular vein. Not deadly, as the man deserved, but he’d be put down if he killed a human, and he couldn’t let Geto be alone, even if he wouldn’t be wanted after this.

 

He’d probably be sent back now that Geto knew what he was capable of.

 

A scream and then electricity was burning Satoru from the inside out once again. His jaw locked as his every muscle seized and spasmed. Which way was up? Was he even standing?

 

All he knew was that he needed to move, but that the electricity wouldn’t let him as it fried the muscles off his bones.

 

Satoru gasped for breath as the electricity stopped, but he had to keep fighting. He was made to take pain and he may as well have been trained to endure the pure agony of electrocution. He couldn’t just crumple to the ground.

 

Satoru staggered forward.

 

“Fuck, he’s a monster!” one of them screamed before a thud sounded and the sound of running footsteps soon faded into the distance.

 

Satoru groaned as he rubbed his eyes, waiting for his vision to fully return. He couldn’t stop shaking, but they had to get out of there in case someone else tried the same thing. Satoru wiped the blood from his mouth and began to look around, his vision still fuzzy, but manageable.

 

Satoru’s heart stopped when he finally saw Geto.

 

His human lay on the ground, body impossibly still save for the rising and falling of his chest, and blood stained the wall behind him where his head lay.

 

Satoru scrambled toward him and knelt, gathering the human up in his arms. Warm blood still trickled from his head. Satoru tapped his shoulder, but Geto didn’t even twitch in response. He wasn’t waking up.

 

Geto needed help. Passing out was a cause of concern for humans, and even without that, there was so much blood. There was no one around and Satoru didn’t dare bring Geto out into the street. Humans took advantage of everything, and if they did something to Geto, if they took Satoru from him…

 

Geto’s phone gleamed in the light, the device peaking out of his pocket from being jostled.

 

Satoru shakily reached forward as dread clogged his throat. Geto hadn’t changed the code to unlock the phone, and Satoru almost froze as Geto slowly cracked his eyes open, but the human only groaned. He was out of it and wouldn’t remember a thing.

 

Satoru punched in the numbers for the emergency hotline and waited.

 

One ring.

 

Two rings.

 

On the third, a woman finally picked up. “Hello, this is emergency services. How may I assist you?”

 

Satoru’s heart beat out of his chest, the sound of it echoing in his ears and nearly drowning out what the woman was saying. This had to be enough. He’d called and they’d track them down. Even if Geto noticed, he’d find some excuse that would never involve Satoru in the equation just like last time.

 

The woman sighed. “Is this a prank?”

 

It wasn’t enough.

 

Blood soaked Satoru’s lap. When he’d called Shoko, she’d never come even though Geto had needed her to so badly. What if they hung up on him? What if they decided Geto was a low priority and didn’t arrive soon?

 

Satoru couldn’t fail Geto again. He couldn’t.

 

A deep breath. In. And out. Maybe his vocal chords would finally be ripped out, but at least it would be for something he wouldn’t regret.

 

“I,” he started, his voice raspy from disuse. He mouthed words to himself at night when no one could see, but it wasn’t the same as actual talking. It never could be. “I heard fighting in an alley and there’s a man here unconscious. He’s bleeding heavily from his head. And, and there’s his pet hybrid, too. They were being mugged, but the thieves ran when they saw someone notice them. I don’t know the road names, but you can track the call, can’t you?”

 

“Of course,” the woman answered. “Please stay on the phone until we arrive. It’s important you tell the officers what you saw when they arrive as well and —”

 

Satoru hung up. He’d said more than enough for her to know what to do.

 

Satoru began to slip the phone back into Geto’s pocket just to freeze. Geto was looking up at him with wide eyes, his face white from either shock or blood loss, but he’d heard everything.

 

“Satoru,” Geto slurred out, his name barely even recognizable, and something settled in Satoru as he finally smiled down at his human. He’d never dared to look at his owner like this before, but it was okay now, because Geto was still out of it.

 

Geto reached up as if to touch Satoru’s face, his hand shaky and uncoordinated. Satoru interlaced their fingers and held Geto’s hand to his cheek. There was still warmth and life in it, and that was what mattered.

 

Satoru blinked as tears threatened to prick at his eyes. He couldn’t cry. Not now.

 

“You won’t remember this, okay?” Satoru whispered as he gazed down at Geto, a smile on his own face, but the human’s eyes still hazy. Satoru had known plenty of hybrids who’d been thrown into walls and were rendered unconscious by it. Most wouldn’t remember a thing, and if they did, they were never entirely sure about the reality of it. “I’ll just be your pet again when you wake up. Just a pet and nothing more.”

 

Some sort of horror flashed across Geto’s eyes as he floundered for words, but it was alright. He wouldn’t remember that Satoru was intelligent when he fully woke up, and just maybe if Satoru was lucky, then things would go back to how they used to be. Maybe they wouldn’t entirely be the same now that Geto knew how dangerous Satoru was, but he wouldn’t resist when Geto would tear his claws off and he wouldn’t give him reason to use the shock collar. He could just be his cute, clingy pet again. Things could be perfect as if nothing had ever happened.

 

The sound of an ambulance drew nearer and nearer. All too soon, paramedics accompanied by a few police officers ran down the alley to them, everything a blur of motion as they took Geto from him and placed the human on a stretcher. Satoru could only watch, but it was the medics’ jobs to keep Geto alive. Hospitals didn’t have to be scary places for humans since they received pain medications.

 

“It’s okay. All okay,” a woman police officer started as she helped Satoru to his feet. “You were so brave, weren’t you? What a good boy you are.”

 

She began to pet his head as she turned to one of the paramedics. “He’s a service hybrid. Think he can ride in the back?”

 

A nod and then the paramedic ran to the ambulance. The woman continued to pet him, her hands nothing like Geto’s, but she seemed kind. At least for now, but that would be enough. They’d let him stay with Geto since he was a service pet.

 

The man came back with familiar mitts and Satoru didn’t resist as they locked them around his hands. At least they were more comfortable than the pair he’d been forced into wearing back at the facility, even if these also immobilized him the same way.

 

“Sh, it’s alright,” the woman began, even though Satoru hadn’t resisted in the slightest. “It’s just so you don’t scratch anything up, though I’m sure they’ll let you out of them soon. You’re so well behaved.”

 

She began to lead him back to the ambulance as she talked to the paramedic. “He did seem to do a number on whoever threatened him and his owner by the looks of it. Hybrids are always so loyal. Honestly, his owner should be glad to have him.”

 

All too soon he was in the back of the ambulance and told to sit and stay there. They didn’t seem to be rushing around Geto, which had to be a good thing. His human would be fine, even if a little beat up.

 

When Geto saw him, his still hazy eyes locked onto the mitts locked around Satoru’s hands. Satoru wasn’t sure why he looked so horrified.

 

“Can’t —” Geto started, his words still slurred as he tried to get the attention of one of the paramedics. “Satoru spoke. Don’t put mitts on —”

 

Satoru’s blood froze inside his veins.

 

The paramedic just laughed as he scratched behind Satoru’s ears. “I think you’re still out of it, sir. Hybrids can’t talk.”

 

“But —” Geto started before he looked at Satoru as if for help in backing him up. Satoru only stared blankly back at him as though he didn’t know a word of what was being said.

 

Even if Geto did remember later, he wouldn’t believe it to be real. The nurses would just tell him he was concussed and tell him the story of a mysterious bystander reporting their emergency. No one would believe him and eventually Geto would come to an explanation that would make sense to him. An explanation that would never involve Satoru speaking. Hybrids were just animals, after all.

Notes:

heyyyyyyy so uh, i know we've been building up to this moment for the entire fic, but i'm going to be visiting my aunt and touching grass, so i fear we won't have another update until next week. sorry T-T

please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!!

Notes:

Updated every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Any changes in posting or schedule will first be announced on my twitter account @JediGlue

Please tell me what you thought and hope you enjoyed!