Chapter 1: Zoey
Chapter Text
Sometimes writing lyrics came like a waterfall, a constant stream of ideas battering her skull that she could only record by chaotically jotting them down in notebooks. Words running up sideways along the margins, curling around little sketches that made more sense to her than sentences, and occasionally mixing songs, only told apart by the color of the pen used.
When everything was finished, a song actualized, she'd painstakingly write the lyrics down in a more organized fashion to be sure her girls could follow along easily. Not that they ever asked, they seemed happy to try to figure out her ramblings and when they needed help, they'd always just ask.
It made her heart warm to think of, but she still liked to make sure the final product was set out a little more professionally.
Maybe it was born from one of those lessons from Celine they were trying to break out of. She wasn't entirely sure, but she liked to do it for them still, though she thought that she might start to add little hearts on the margins or maybe quick little love notes to make them happy.
Other times, like now, writing felt almost like running a marathon in quicksand.
Never moving, never flourishing, only sinking deeper and deeper into a bleak nothingness the harder Zoey fought against the sluggish feeling in her brain. The words would be there, just at the tip of her tongue, but it was like a language she didn't speak, her hands unable to translate.
There were plenty of notebook pages full of half scribbled thoughts, jumbled letters, sentences crossed out entirely.
Some ideas struck like lightning, others like the slow rise and fall of the tides.
They needed new songs, Zoey knew. They'd promised Bobby to have at least four songs prepared before taking a break. Three were already written, their newest song that saved the world and then two others Zoey had written a while ago that were just waiting on the back burner.
Nothing felt right for the fourth song, though.
She'd scoured her notebooks: twenty five of new song possibilities, eighteen of broken scraps that didn't make it into other songs, and nine of half finished verses that never felt right in any other works.
Nothing.
All of her other notebooks were either not related, packed away, or ripped apart to be sure no one could ever steal anything related to their finished songs. Not that she really believed anyone could ever steal from them, but still, she liked to be cautious.
"Maybe a new notebook entirely?" Gnawing on the end of her pen, Zoey shuffled through the box of books she'd brought with her to the couch. At first she'd tried writing on her bed, then her desk, then under her desk, she even tried Mira's desk and Rumi's floor, but nowhere felt right. So the couch was her last ditch effort to find some kind of inspiration. Notebooks and papers littered the cushions, as well as the floor, with multiple pens of varying colors laying on every surface within reach. The table was nearly overflowing with snacks, different drinks Zoey loved, and her phone playing one of the playlists Mira had made for her.
She'd started with a collection of animal videos Rumi had found for her, then cycled through four writing playlists she had, and now was desperately trying this one.
Her girls were relying on her. The block in her brain couldn't remain, it wasn't a good time for it. Things would slow down soon, no writing could happen for weeks then, but right now she needed it to work.
The blank pages felt almost as if they were mocking her as she stared down at the open notebook. A new one usually got her going immediately, songs or lists or anything, but it was like her entire brain was hollowed out, empty of any and all thought.
She had to focus, had to get this done.
Flipping a pen, she grabbed another empty notebook, wondering if somehow a different blank page would help. First she drew a turtle, but it looked wrong, so she ripped the page out and started over. Letters turning into lines turning into nothing, pages ripped and balled up, then her phone in hand, videos flicking by as she looked for something.
What had she been looking for?
Right, anything to inspire her lyrics but then she'd found a video about tigers, and that made her think of Rumi so she'd kept looking at tiger videos, but then one about wolves came up and reminded her of Mira, so she'd started watching wolves, and then she was on bears, and then fish after seeing bears catching salmon, and now she was back to turtles.
Blinking at her phone, she nearly threw it when she realized she'd already spent almost an hour just looking at videos.
"No, no, I need to write." The blank pages stared back up at her, little sketches of Rumi's patterns in the margins.
Frustration burned at the back of her eyes, tears prickling in a way that just made it even harder to see anything she'd try to write. She could do this, she could get words down, she could write a song for her girls.
Her throat constricted as she thought of her girls. They were working hard while she just floundered. Rumi was recording vocal tracks, possibly even back and training with Mira, who had already worked out most of their three new dance routines.
They were moving forward, they weren't stuck with static in their limbs and minds swirling down a drain of despair.
Mira would have already had the new routine for the song ready, Rumi could probably get better lyrics together in time if she wanted. Misery roiled in Zoey's gut, harsh and acidic and leaving her feeling sick. Curling up on her side, she hugged her legs and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping all of this would pass.
It wasn't often she felt like she might drown, not anymore. Ever since she'd met Rumi and Mira, ever since she had Huntrix, Zoey had found ways to work with her brain and had discovered that the girls helped her regulate, just by being there. It had been like a revelation that first time she'd rambled, and nearly bit her tongue to shut up when she realized, only for Rumi to tell her to keep going, Mira hanging onto her every word.
The road wasn't always easy and smooth, but things had been going so well that she'd almost forgotten what days like this could feel like. Stress could cause brain blocks, anything could really, and maybe everything happening recently had finally gotten to her.
Not that it was bad.
No, she'd finally gotten her two girls to be hers in the way she'd hoped for for so long. She had two girlfriends who she loved and who loved her. Rumi was finally opening up more, Mira was talking about things more openly, and they were spending even more time together, she hadn't even known that was possible.
Rumi's demon quirks were turning out to be so delightful that Zoey occasionally wondered how anyone could have ever though they were something to hide. Celine's lessons still rang in their ears, heavy and harsh and echoing, but she getting quieter every day. They still had a lot to figure out about their new Honmoon, about demons, about all the things Celine had been wrong about and what was right, but it was okay. They had time and they'd do it all together.
One thing she absolutely knew was that Rumi and Mira were both absolutely wonderful. They were so sweet to her, so soft and understanding and warm.
No, she needed to focus or else she'd spiral into only thinking about her girlfriends.
Or maybe that would help.
What was she stressed about again?
A vision of Rumi looking so scared, so broken before them flickered across her eyes as she rubbed them. Their weapons drawn, the way she'd cracked and caved.
No, no, they'd talked about that. She'd apologized. Hadn't she?
Was that why she couldn't focus? Was guilt nagging her but she hadn't been hearing it?
What had Rumi been thinking? Oh she was horrible. She didn't deserve her girlfriends at all if she'd forgotten something as big as apologizing.
No, wait, Mira wouldn't ever let her think that. Neither would Rumi. She had to have apologized, Mira had so she definitely had. It hadn't been a dream or a fantasy, they'd worked it out, they had to be fine.
They were fine.
Weren't they?
"Do you think Zoey would want kimchi-jjigae for dinner?"
"I think if you cooked, she'd eat just about anything." Mira rolled her eyes at that but didn't argue. "Do we have everything for it"
"We should, yeah. I can make some kimbap too, if you want."
"Are you trying to propose right now?" Rumi grinned when Mira snorted, slinging an arm over her shoulders. A kiss pressed to the side of her head, Mira's fingers tracing the patterns on her arm, prompting a soft purr to fill the air around them.
"Not at the moment. Go find Zoey, see if she's cool with it while I go shower."
Rumi just hummed, tilting up to kiss Mira's cheek as they entered their floor. Soft music was coming from the couch but Rumi couldn't see Zoey. Mira broke off to head to her room, leaving her to walk quietly over to the couch, trying to figure out if their girlfriend was within the absolute mess of blankets and paper she could now see.
Notebooks were scattered around and while a bit jarring, they'd grown used to Zoey's creative process. What did worry her a bit was the fact that there were so many blank pages, ripped bits of half finished lines, and at least three broken pens on the floor.
"Zoey? You in there?" A soft whine answered her, a sound that seemed so entirely opposite to how Zoey would normally greet her. Frowning, Rumi found a clear space on the couch, settling down next to the lump of blankets. "Hey, what's wrong, Zo?"
Just as she managed to worm a hand under the blankets, they were thrown away and she was suddenly met with a lapful of trembling Zoey.
"I'm sorry!" Rumi blinked at the apology, hugging the smaller girl closer to her chest as she tried to soothe her. "I'm so sorry, Rumi! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Whoa, hey. just breathe with me, okay?" This was all happening fast but Zoey's breathing was even faster, the poor girl nearly hyperventilating as she clutched at Rumi so tightly she could feel her hands shaking.
Helplessness was not something Rumi liked to simmer in when it came to her girls but she had no idea how to fix this. Zoey had hidden her face in Rumi's neck, mumbling apologies and other words she couldn't quite catch, so Rumi did what she thought would be best.
A change of scenery.
Carefully, she slipped off the couch, making sure Zoey was held securely in her arms, and headed to Mira's room. She had the largest bed, since Rumi and Zoey both agreed they felt safest when sleeping near Mira, so they made sure she had space to fit them all anytime someone had a bad night.
The shower was still running so Rumi settled on the bed, tucking a blanket around Zoey before she called out.
"Mira! Hurry up! Something happened to Zoey!" There was a sudden crash, followed by grumbled cursing. Pleased that their girlfriend heard her, she turned her attention back to Zoey, relieved to see that the familiarity of the bed seemed to have relaxed her a bit. She brought out her claws, ever so gently running them along Zoey's back, smiling just a bit when her mumbling finally stopped, replaced by a shuddered sigh.
She still didn't move away, if anything Zoey nuzzled in even closer, as if trying to fuse with Rumi entirely.
When she tried humming, she seemed conflicted, relaxing for a moment before she tensed right back up, trembling until Rumi switched to just rambling off little animal facts she'd learned from Zoey, knowing she'd like that Rumi remembered it all.
It felt wrong to see Zoey like this, seeming so small and fragile in her arms. While the youngest was the one to most easily burst into tears among them, there was always a cause Rumi and Mira could understand.
This felt like it was out of nowhere. Things had been so bright that morning, Zoey had been so excited to work out new songs and had sent them on their way with bright smiles, promising to have a new playlist of things to watch by the time they returned as she was sure the new lyrics would be done.
They'd told her not to worry about that, told her that lyrics didn't need to be written in a day and that they still had time to work out the last song needed.
Now Rumi wondered if Zoey had heard any of what they'd said before leaving.
"What happened?" Mira's breathless voice came from the door, a towel haphazardly wrapped around her head. She must have rushed after Rumi called for her.
"I'm not entirely sure." Rumi tried to shift but Zoey whined, making her freeze as she gently kissed her head. "I found her on the couch and she immediately latched onto me. Mira, she kept apologizing, I don't know why but it's almost like..."
"The last time her mom called." A low growl rumbled from Rumi's throat before she could hold it in just as Mira ground her teeth at the memory.
Zoey's family situation was complicated but she'd been extremely low contact with them for a while now. It wouldn't make sense for them to reach out to her again, and even if they did, her apologies to Rumi didn't really seem related. Last time, Zoey had spent four hours trying to clean the entire penthouse and only stopped when Mira finally stepped in to put a stop to it. That led to a night of crying while Zoey explained about her family dynamics, comfort food and snuggling to try to make her feel better, and Rumi keeping Mira occupied when Zoey finally fell asleep so she didn't run off to murder Zoey's parents.
This felt very different and yet similar enough, Mira seemed to have some idea of what may be happening.
"Is the living room clean?"
"No, it's creative process chaos right now." Nodding, Mira sighed, fishing out her phone as Rumi watched, head tilted curiously.
"I'm ordering in, I can cook tomorrow. I'll order and then swap with you so you can shower too."
"I don't know if she'll let me go."
"We'll figure it out. If we're going to be laying in bed for the evening, then you should get to be comfortable too." Mira quirked a brow at her workout clothes, still damp with sweat. She was now dressed in comfortable lounge clothes and Zoey was still wearing the shorts and hoodie she'd had on that morning.
"Okay, fair." Rumi chuffed out a breath when Mira just smirked before leaning in for a kiss. Her patterns flared softly at the touch, as they always did, and the blue that signaled her content seemed to relax Zoey even more, her grip on Rumi's top loosening. "What are you ordering?"
"Comfort junk that Bobby will have delivered from the corner store. Ramen, shrimp chips, kimbap, and just, like, enough snacks to last a week if we don't indulge in it all tonight." Rumi watched as Mira grabbed her laptop and a few extra pillows and blankets to make the bed a sort of couch for them all. "Alright, ready to do this?"
With a nod, Rumi waited for Mira to be pressed to her side before they carefully started shifting Zoey. At first, she whimpered, clutching at Rumi again, but then Mira started whispering to her while Rumi rubbed her back. Eventually she let go but Rumi's heart ached as she noticed she'd started crying, the sight burning into her brain before Zoey hid her face in Mira's neck this time.
Mira's jaw was clenched, hands twitching as if she wanted to fight whatever had hurt Zoey, but she didn't move beyond trailing her fingers through Zoey's hair.
"I'll be quick. Did you order drinks too?"
"No, we have a lot in the kitchen still. Probably don't need half of what I got but it's whatever."
"Okay, I'll grab some of those from the fridge too."
"Rumi." She blinked, flushing at the gentle knowing on Mira's face. "It's okay, I've got her and you won't be far. Go get cleaned up."
Crumpling under that look, Rumi just leaned in for another kiss, making sure to kiss the top of Zoey's head as well before she left to do just that.
Everything sounded like Mira and Rumi were talking to her while her ears were underwater. Muffled, distorted, not giving her the true meaning of what they'd say.
At first, she just meant to apologize for before but then she'd gotten stuck, locked in a loop of being sorry for so many things. The lyrics not being done, the living room being a mess, having used their rooms while they were gone, not focusing enough, being so clingy the moment they got home.
She just had so much building in her chest, bubbling up and over until she couldn't contain it all.
Every time it felt like Rumi would leave, like she'd push Zoey away, it was like a chasm opened up in her chest, a flood of panic and something horrible swirling in her mind. Mira helped, realizing she was just as close, but then Rumi really had left.
She'd passed her off to Mira, had slipped away entirely, and Zoey didn't know how to handle the way it felt like heartbreak. The tears had come unbidden, darkening the shoulder of Mira's top almost immediately.
Had she driven Rumi away? Had she really been so bad? Had she been too much? Not enough?
Though she'd also kissed her. So maybe it was okay?
Mira was still there, her touch was soft and gentle. If Rumi really was mad, she didn't think this would be the reaction. Maybe, maybe, maybe...
That realization was supported when the bed dipped again, Rumi's weight showing she'd come back to them. Solid and secure against her. Those claws of hers went back to scratching along her back, soothing little circles that nearly turned her muscles to mush.
If Rumi was upset, she wouldn't be doing that. If she really was angry, she wouldn't be tucking a blanket around her to be sure she was comfortable.
"Zoey?" Mira nudged her, finally sounding normal. Slowly, she turned her head, looking out at her girls. Relief was stark on both their faces, though worry still creased Rumi's brow. "There you are."
"Hi." Her voice was croaky, rough, and she winced at the sound. Rumi just hushed her, rushing to hand over a bottle of water for her to sip at. As she did so, Zoey slowly started to unfurl from where she'd been hiding, eyes widening at the state of Mira's bed.
The laptop was set up to watch something, tabs open to movies and animal video playlists, while trays of food were set out on either side of it. Blankets and pillows had been arranged like a comfortable nest, her favorite plushies tucked up in the corner. Rumi moved to sit on her other side so she was squished between her girlfriends and then, almost as if to be sure she stayed this time, Rumi curled up so she was laying with her head on Zoey's lap, one arm wrapped comfortably around her legs.
It gave Zoey ample room to do one of her favorite activities: playing with Rumi's long hair. Her braid was already gone, and her hair was slightly damp, like she hadn't meant to wash it in the shower fully but she'd rushed so it had gotten a little wet.
The thought of her running through a shower just to get back in bed with them made Zoey's heart do a funny little twirl. She curled a bit of hair around her finger, wondering if braiding it would help focus her mind.
"How do you feel?" Mira's hand pressed to her forehead, brushing to soothe but she knew she was also testing for her temperature. Their caregiver, she always worried about them getting sick after stressful situations. Still, she took the question seriously.
They'd promised to never hide again and, really, Zoey always hated keeping things from them. At first, she'd held some stuff close to the chest. She'd always had to be perfect for her family, had to play into the picture they'd wanted to present to show one parent was so much better than the other, and she'd feared what might happen if she let her girls down.
She'd thought she was past that, thought that things had gotten better ever since she'd opened up to them about it, after she'd gotten comfortable, but maybe she could never fully escape it.
Maybe this was just a part of her forever.
"Exhausted." She sighed softly, lips twitching into a smile when Rumi nuzzled in closer. "I'm sorry, I don't know—"
"Nope!" Zoey yelped, face flushing hot when Rumi playfully bit at her thigh, glaring up at her for a moment. "No apologizing! You have nothing to be sorry for, Zo."
"But I—"
"She said nope." Mira tapped her cheek, sliding her finger down until it was under Zoey's chin, tilting her head enough to kiss her. It was quick, light, but it eased something in her chest. "All you have to do is cuddle with us, eat whatever you want, and relax."
Rumi hummed her agreement, taking one of Zoey's hands and playing with her fingers. She nuzzled her cheek against her wrist before she kissed her palm.
"If you want to talk about what happened today, then we'll listen and do what we can to help." Zoey watched as Rumi turned just enough to look up at her, a low purr starting in her chest the moment she took her hand back just to start slipping her fingers through Rumi's hair. The sound removed any lingering fears and doubts, her shame and guilt vanishing like a fog Rumi banished with the glow of her patterns. "But if you don't want to, then that's fine too. We'll be here with you either way."
Glancing over, she saw Mira nod, leaning forward to grab a bag of shrimp chips for her. It was such a small thing, a tiny gesture int he scheme of things, but it was that combined with Rumi's purring that broke her.
A sob ripped out of her, hands clutching the bag of chips as if it were something precious. Rumi had frozen and then turned over, hugging her around the middle while Mira hugged an arm over her shoulders, pressing kisses to her head while they let her work through it.
They never tried to stop her, never tried to force her to feel something lesser, never made her feel like her tears were a weakness. They just held her, comforted her, and it was everything.
"I got so stuck." The words came out hiccuped, harsh, and Mira put her hand on her chest, deliberately taking deep breaths until Zoey's breathing started to match hers. "My mind's been going so fast with ideas that I figured one more song would be easy but after you guys left this morning, nothing worked. I just.. I didn't want to let you guys down but I couldn't focus, and nothing helped, and I couldn't stop thinking."
"Is that why you kept apologizing to me?" Rumi's eyes were so earnest, so warm as she peaked up at her.
"No, well sort of, yes?" They all just waited a moment before the giggling started first from Rumi, then Zoey, and then Mira let out an amused, if not exasperated, breathy laugh. Zoey's giggling tapered off into another soft sob as she thought of what she'd been so worried about. "There was a whole process but I got stuck on the idea that I'd let you down and then, I just, I couldn't remember stuff in the panic, and I couldn't remember if I apologized after... "
The hesitation seemed to be hint enough as something profoundly sad slipped onto Rumi's face, her patterns flickering from to purple. She lifted one hand to cup Zoey's cheek, slowly brushing her thumb across her skin.
"You've already apologized for that, Zo, and I forgave you both already. We talked about it after, it's okay if you don't remember right now but it happened. You don't have to torture yourself over that ever again, okay?" She nodded into Rumi's hand, smiling when Mira leaned in to kiss her other cheek.
"I told you not to stress over the lyrics." Mira's voice was gentle but firm, a little frown pulling at her lips. "We've got time, babe, and even if you can't get something down that you like, Rumi and I will always help you."
"But you're already doing so much." Sniffling, Zoey wiped at her face. "You're working so hard on the routines and I know Rumi's already got so much of her solo recording done."
"Yeah, but, Zoey, darling, we work together on all those things. We record together, we learn the dances together, and we learn the lyrics together." Rumi poked her nose, grinning when Zoey's eyes crossed to see it. "We're a team, Zo, in every part of our lives. You don't have to do it all alone."
She hesitated, squirming a bit under her girlfriend's stares. There wasn't any judgement there, no scorn or disgust. Instead, the longer they looked, the safer she felt.
"I-If I'm not perfect, sometimes I'm afraid you'll get tired of me." It felt like something cracked and mended in her chest all at once. "I'm a lot, I know I am, and I know I don't always measure up, and I know you guys don't care if I'm perfect, I do, but sometimes it's hard to remember that's the truth."
Mira breathed out a long, low sound that was covered almost instantly by a deep growl coming from Rumi. Zoey looked down at her in shock, finding her eyes clenched closed and her patterns flashing a red so dark it almost seemed black.
Had she made them angry? Had she—
"Your parents are so like Celine sometimes it makes me want to scream." Mira ground the words out, her newfound hatred for Rumi's guardian now a very known fact.
Oh. So that's why they were mad.
"Darling." Zoey flushed at the pet name, as she always did when Rumi used it on her. "You are never too much, you are always perfect to us because you're you, and if you don't like being called perfect, then just always remember that you are enough for us, you are ours. We don't need perfection, we don't need you to subdue yourself, and we don't ever want you to have to hide. I know what it's like to hide and it's not fun at all." Rumi's growling had quieted, replaced by slow falling tears that slipped silently down her cheeks. "You're my Zoey and I don't want anyone else."
"Hey."
"You know I want you too, Mira, don't whine." She watched as Rumi stuck her tongue out at Mira who was, to her amazement, playfully pouting. Rumi's tears were still there and Mira was still obviously fretting over her, but they'd both put on exaggerated expressions, both looking much lighter than before. It was purposeful, she knew it, they were trying to make her laugh now.
And damn, it was working.
A giggle slipped from her, only growing louder when Rumi sat up in her lap, straddling her thighs so she could lean over to indulgently kiss Mira. Zoey watched them, affection blooming in her chest as they both seemed to melt into it, and then it got even better when they separated and turned their attention to Zoey.
Rumi got to her first. She was purring loudly already but the sound only deepened when their lips met. One hand slid along her jaw, cradling her head, and then she felt Mira's lips on her neck, pressing soft kisses over where her pulse had to be racing.
She loved them so much. All of her senses were overwhelmed by them, her body thrumming with the need for something, anything, but also feeling so exhausted, she didn't know what would even feel right.
They didn't push, though. Mira's hands slid across her stomach, holding her in this protective possessive way that was punctuated by the way she bit onto Zoey's neck, not too hard but definitely enough to mark. Rumi was matched her energy, rumbling against her and then letting her catch her breath as she trailed kisses down the other side of her neck, sucking her own mark into the skin. Teeth just settled on either side of her, holding bites like they were the basic show of love itself.
Claiming her, wanting her, she worried her heart might burst with all the feelings rushing through her.
"Did you know a tiger's roar can be heard up to three kilometers away and can reach decibels as loud as a chainsaw?"
Both girls froze and then pulled back to stare at her. For a fleeting moment, she thought she'd messed up, that her blurting out animal facts when feeling so full might be something that finally makes them get tired of her, but then Rumi smiled, her patterns flickering golden. She looked like a tiny sun, her smile just as blinding.
"You're so fucking cute." Mira groaned, washing away any worries as she pulled Zoey into a kiss, cradling her face to keep her close. Rumi just chuckled at them, moving around the bed as Mira kissed her over and over, teasing her with little bites to her lower lip.
Then Rumi was back, curling up on her lap again as Mira repositioned to be steady at Zoey's back. She was dazed from the kisses, just letting her girlfriends situate everything until the world came back into focus.
An hour long video about tigers was pulled up on the laptop, Rumi had brought some of the food closer for easier reach, and all three of them were entwined so closely beneath layers of blankets she honestly didn't know where one began and the other ended.
Zoey wouldn't have it any other way.
Chapter 2: Mira
Summary:
theres smut in here. If you want to skip the smut, either skip this chapter or just stop reading when you get to the point where rumi is taking off mira's pants <3
Notes:
before u ask in my headcanons for this fic universe, Mira is trans and queer, Zoey is nonbinary (uses she/her bcuz she doesn't care and likes to match her girls) and bi, and Rumi is a demi lesbian who is still figuring out gender but for now is cis. I like my polytrix neurospicy and queer as hell.
some lore notes in the end note
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Anger wasn't just a one point emotion. Mira tied it to many things, wrapped it around herself like a protective blanket whenever dealing with the world. Her girls never minded, never found her scary or too wild or out of sync with their own ways of moving through life.
It helped that they soothed Mira's entire being like a balm most of the time.
There weren't many times that her girls made her truly angry. Frustrated? Sure. Annoyed? It happens. But angry? No, not really. The only times she can think of are the night of the awards and the few spats she had with Rumi in the very beginning, when she had some preconceived notions about who their leader was before getting to really know her.
She was discovering a new side of the kaleidoscope of aggression now that they'd solidified their relationship.
Mira never thought of herself as a jealous person. Other families having what she wanted would sting, sure, but she'd never really coveted it, because she always wanted something that was just distinctively hers.
Then she'd met Rumi and Zoey.
They were everything. Best friends, family, the greatest loves of her life. The Honmoon had tied their souls together, forever solidifying the bond that had been there before they'd created the new one. In the same night she'd thought for a horrible moment that everything had been a lie, that she'd lost the most important people in her life, she'd felt the Honmoon tie their souls together.
She'd never lose them now. It seemed like Zoey and Rumi knew it as well, could feel the thrum of the Honmoon as it connected them, but their own minds seemed to like to steal that truth from them.
Rumi would still occasionally hide, flinching away from the demon side that flourished more and more every day. Other days, Zoey would work herself to the bone, trying to prove she deserved their affection.
Not that she never had to deal with her own haunting insecurities, but they felt almost muted now, the spark of the Honmoon like proof the darkest thoughts they had would never be true.
The road wasn't entirely smooth but Mira didn't mind. Her girls didn't need to be perfect, they didn't need to strive to always be happy and good, she just needed them to be who they were and she'd love them forever.
The problem was that so much of the world also coveted her girlfriends.
Jealousy, possessiveness, a low simmering rage she didn't know she could feel that lingered just beneath the skin anytime an interviewer asked the wrong question, or a fan got a little too flirty, too handsy.
She'd noticed in Rumi as well, a growl here or there when anyone got too close to Zoey. The way her arm would wind tightly around Mira's waist if anyone's eyes lingered a little too long. Yet it felt different, felt like Rumi had more control over her reactions, even with the enhanced demon instincts.
Mira didn't like feeling out of control. As wild and aggressive as she was described as growing up, all of her choices after a certain age had been pointed, calculated, done for a reason. Even the bad ideas, even the ones that led to her aggression taking over before she could choose a different path. Her impulsiveness was a mask to hide the reality of her craving the love of her family, their attention beyond the glaze of eyes and the fleeting smile at a work function. Even if she only got their full attention when she did something bad, it was better than nothing.
Then she just stopped caring and that impulsiveness didn't exist, her parents just called any choice they didn't like as wild anger issues.
Even when she felt the aggression, when she felt a little like she might lose that control, like the choice would be stripped from her hands, she'd always managed to find a way to center herself. Through focused rage, through spite, through baring her teeth at the world, whatever worked, she'd do.
Regulating ever since she'd joined Huntrix had become something nearly second nature.
Everything felt easier, simpler. Zoey and Rumi made her happy, they'd clawed their way over her walls and she never really ever wanted them to leave.
Sure, before the breakdown at the awards, she'd still kept some defenses up, always ready to snap her jaws shut if they showed any flicker of possibility of not wanting to keep her. It was something she did subconsciously, not even really knowing she'd been like that until that moment when Rumi's patterns had flickered to life.
If Rumi had run, Mira knew things wouldn't have gone as smoothly, as well, as they did that night.
Yet she didn't, she tried to leave still, but in a way that protected them. In a horrible, terrifying way that Mira knew meant I love you, I'm sorry, I'll keep you safe no matter the cost.
She'd never let Rumi get to a place where she thought her death was what was best ever again, not if she could prevent it from happening.
Speaking of Rumi.
Her girlfriend was currently attached to her side, nuzzling and rubbing against her shoulder as she purred, still half asleep from the nap they'd taken in the backroom after an interview as they waited for their fan event to start.
Zoey was laying across both their laps, her head on the arm of the couch all three occupied as she scrolled through videos on her phone, occasionally spinning it around to show Mira what she'd found. It was all just so warm, so relaxed, that the knot that had curled in Mira's chest during the interview had unfurled entirely.
Bobby screened all questions that would be asked, adamant about his girls never being hurt by callous reporters, but this one had snuck in a snide remark about their relationship. They hadn't made any announcements yet, wanting to wait until after their break so they could do a comeback with a bang, but fans had noticed them being even closer than normal since the awards.
Only two more weeks of promo, releases, interviews and a few performances before they had three months to relax. Three months of vacation with her girlfriends.
Oh how weeks of lazing on the couch sounded so perfect.
So when he'd poked at it, mentioning a picture Zoey had posted recently where Rumi was curled up on Mira's lap in the recording studio, and another where they were all holding hands while ordering boba, had put Mira on edge.
She nearly bit his head off before Rumi had narrowed her eyes, asking if he was really trying to press for things that would get his network banned from interacting with Huntrix ever again. He'd quickly backtracked then, Bobby reassuring them that this wasn't live so he'd have all of that edited out.
They didn't have to come out until they were ready, didn't ever have to reveal their relationship to the public if they didn't want to, and Bobby would make sure of it.
It had taken reassurances that they still wanted to go with their current plan, snacks, and her girls pulling her into a cuddle pile on the couch for a nap for her frustration to dissipate entirely. Zoey had tried to apologize, as if her posting pictures had been the problem, but they'd chased away that idea with kisses and approval to post another picture of them right then, entangled on the little backstage couch that barely fit them all.
"Do you think the fans will ask about it?" Mira tilted her head to look at Zoey, frowning at the nervous way she bit at her lip. She reached over, gently tapping until she stopped doing so and then pulled her up to kiss the red mark left behind. "The new picture, I mean."
"It's not the first time we've posted a picture of us all together like this." Rumi yawned so wide Mira swore she heard her jaw pop, stretching before she resettled. The nuzzling had stopped but if anything, her purring grew louder as she kissed the side of Mira's neck. "You smell good."
"You mean I smell like you?" Amusement was blatant in Mira's voice, Zoey giggling when pink light flared from Rumi's patterns. "Don't be embarrassed, it's cute that you want to scent mark us so much."
"Big cats and domestic cats all scent mark, just in different ways!" Zoey's information didn't help Rumi's flustering, if anything it just made it worse as she let out a tiny choked whine.
"I'm a demon, not a cat."
"No, you're Rumi." Mira tapped her chin to get her to look up at her, smirking at the way her patterns shimmered pink through the red on her cheeks. "We don't mind smelling like you, baby, especially if it helps those instincts of yours."
Rumi fidgeted, a sure sign that she had something she wanted to say or ask for and she was forcing herself not to hide it. Mira waited patiently, as did Zoey, her phone now set off to the side.
"Can you.. do it to me too?"
"Make you smell like us?"
"Yeah." Pride flared in Mira's chest at Rumi actually requesting something, at how she didn't call her demon side bad or weird as she vocalized what she needed.
"I don't think we can scent mark like you can, Rumi, but! We do have perfume!" Zoey jumped up from the couch, running over to the supplies they'd piled onto the vanity before the interview. As she looked, Mira watched Rumi curiously.
"How do you do it, Rumi?"
"Oh, I don't really know. I just suddenly knew I could if I rubbed my cheeks on your neck or shoulder or wrists, anywhere really but especially there." She'd flushed again, something shy covering her expression. "You always smell good there."
Something in Mira melted entirely and she gave into the impulse to kiss Rumi, pleased when she immediately leaned into it. She bit at her bottom lip, taking advantage of her gasp to slip her tongue into her mouth.
It was always such a heady sensation, Rumi bending and submitting to them. She seemed to like it a lot when she or Zoey took charge. Outside in the world, and when it came to business and band, Rumi was their leader. Strong, stalwart, protective and always making sure she lived up to such a responsibility.
In private, however, she liked giving all of that power over to them.
Teasingly, she trailed the tip of her tongue across the roof of Rumi's mouth, chuckling when she pulled away as Rumi shuddered.
"Be a good girl and give me your wrist." Rumi blinked, her patterns fluctuating wildly between different shades of pink and gold. Still she did as asked, watching with wide eyes as Mira rubbed her cheek against the skin there, just as she'd watched Rumi do plenty of times before. "See if you smell any differently. We can't smell as well as you can now."
Mira watched as Rumi processed this, her brain seeming to have had to reboot from the past few minutes. In a daze, she lifted her wrist up and took a delicate sniff, pouting after a moment.
"I can smell you a little bit but it's not the same thing, it's not strong enough." Mira hummed, leaning over to kiss Rumi's forehead, then cheek and then her lips again. Lighter this time, pleased when she got her to giggle at the affection.
"Here, Rumi, try this." Zoey came back to them, sitting on Mira's lap fully now with her arms wrapped around Rumi's neck. She handed over two little bottles. "These are the ones we usually use during interviews and stuff, maybe do a dab of each on either side of your neck? I think maybe if we swap body wash at home, or maybe start using incense that we all like, then we can all smell the same most of the time."
Rumi's expression softened at that, leaning in to kiss Zoey as Mira watched them. They were so sweet she worried she might get cavities.
Mira uncapped one of the bottles, carefully putting a small amount on one side of Rumi's neck while Zoey did the same to the other side. They watched as Rumi closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, almost immediately relaxing with a renewed purr.
Zoey burst into a fit of giggles, only made worse when Rumi attacked her with kisses.
"Anything else we need to do before the fan event?" Mira got them back on track a few minutes later, though at first she'd only prompted them to turn their kissing attack on her. She tried not to let it affect her, keeping calm even as they pressed kisses all across her face and neck. The control over her expression didn't do much, though, since she was clutching them close to her with her hands. "Rumi's all perfumed up, we've all slept and eaten. Zoey, did you drink water?"
"Yes, ma'am." They finally gave up, Zoey curling up into her side with a little sigh. "I had water and so did Rumi."
"Good." This time Mira kissed them both. Gentle, soft, sweet, enough that both girls looked a little dazed when she pulled away.
They really did so much for her ego.
"Girls?" A knock followed Bobby's voice and then he poked his head in the door when they called back in response. "Everything starts in ten, the lines are already set! I've got things set up on the table already so it's time for you to head out."
"How long is the signing?" Rumi asked as she stood from the couch to stretch again. Mira hovered a hand by her hip to keep her steady as she did, not wanting to move until Zoey was also up. Their leader was all business now, the relaxed purring cat girlfriend traded out for a calm and focused expression as she looked over a clipboard Bobby gave to her.
"An hour, unless you feel overwhelmed! The original plan was a quick thirty minutes at the end of the filming day but more people got wind about this, so we extended the time. However, you can stop anytime after that initial thirty minutes if you need to." There was a no nonsense look on Bobby's face, something so serious it almost felt out of place, but then he grinned, handing over new bottles of water.
"Thanks, Bobby!" They all chirped it at the same time, on rhythm, and he just grinned at them before heading out first.
"Ready?" Rumi turned to look at her, head tilted as Zoey hugged her arm. Mira just groaned, finally standing up and taking Rumi's other side, linking arms as she took one of the waters.
"Let's do this."
Zoey knew her girls. She may not have been as perceptive as Mira always seemed to be, but she knew them enough to see certain things coming.
The way Mira's jaw kept twitching in between fan signings. How she'd smile and talk and be so happy one moment, only to tense up the moment her eyes moved over to see how anyone was interacting with them. It all just said how close she was to some sort of outburst.
Which wasn't a problem, normally. Usually if they saw this coming, they'd just tease her, play it down until it just became a new fun Huntrix moment. They never liked to cage Mira, never tried to change her or box her up, but they also never wanted her to do anything she might regret that a fan could catch on camera.
This felt different, though. It had since they got together and while they hadn't had many fan meetings since then, every single one had Mira getting so wound up that by the end of it, she was so exhausted they tended to go right to bed the moment they got home, no matter how early it was.
It was worrying.
Rumi had agreed with her, always cuddling up to Mira the moment any fan interactions were finished. She'd hum or talk about anything, wrangling Zoey into rambling as well, but each time, Zoey could see the concern practically radiating from her.
Now they were just a little past the thirty minute mark Bobby had mentioned and Rumi looked ready to call it a day, shooting glances at Mira every few seconds.
Their poor girlfriend was so tense, though she hid it from the fans pretty well. One guy had handed Rumi a flower, his finger brushing hers, and Mira had looked ready to smack him. When a very sweet but overly excited woman had leaned over to hug Zoey, so quickly that no one could stop it in time, Mira had clenched a pen so tightly it had snapped in half.
Thankfully, security gently reprimanding the woman and Zoey dealing with that had distracted people enough that Rumi was able to wipe the ink off and get her a new sharpie.
Apparently the interview had set her nerves on fire a little more than they'd anticipated.
"Do you think she's okay?" Rumi leaned over to whisper, smiling at a fan as she signed another poster but didn't linger to chat. "I didn't think we'd have to resort to that thing we joked about already but... well..."
"Mira looks ready to explode." Zoey sighed.
"We might not have to." There was a weak smile on Rumi's face as she shrugged. "We can always stop this anytime."
Zoey didn't have time to answer, pulled into a new signing and conversation. Things had calmed down since that hug, their guards lingering a little closer to her side of the table now, but Zoey could see a group of rowdy, very possibly drunk, fans coming up soon.
It did not bode well in her mind.
"We'll go for the hour, if we stop before anything happens, Mira definitely will just think something's wrong with us and won't tell us what's been going on." Rumi hummed her agreement when Zoey finally leaned over to whisper again. "If anything happens, then we do what we said, but otherwise, we just keep going and tonight, we'll just have to trap her on the couch until she talks."
"Okay." Rumi's patterns flushed through a few different colors, fleeting and not her usual ones, as emotion flickered across her face. Zoey could understand her nerves. If anything did happen, they'd have to be quick to get Mira out of there, but even more than that, they hated that she seemed to be keeping something from them.
They'd all been so open lately, keeping to their new communication rules and it had been wonderful. Mira didn't usually hide things from them at all, but she never wanted to talk after their recent events when it was obvious something was going on.
"You don't think she's..." Zoey frowned as Rumi let the thought trail off, her chest aching as she saw the purple starting to flare across her cheeks. "What if she's ashamed of me? After everything, and my patterns, I mean, she only seems off after we're in public and I just—"
"Get that thought out of your head, Rumi." She wanted to kiss her so bad, to hug her and hum until Rumi flickered blue and purred in her arms. "Mira was the one who suggested we stop hiding after the break remember? She loves you, loves us."
Thankfully, the purple faded as quickly as it arrived but Rumi still looked nervous, almost like she was forcing herself to agree with Zoey instead of actually accepting it.
They really needed to get Mira to open up before Rumi spiraled. She didn't want to see that happen and she knew Mira would never forgive herself if she knew she was the reason for Rumi's self-hatred reviving.
Mira was trying her damn best not to leap across the table.
Their fans weren't being horrible. A few instances of toeing over the line were, annoyingly, fairly normal at events that end up pulling this many people. They worked quickly, trying to get as many signings done as possible, which usually meant people tried to do as much as they could in a short amount of time.
It wasn't that bad.
Yet after that morning, Mira felt like a beast, wanting to mark her girlfriends as her own. Or maybe a demon was a better saying, since Rumi liked to leave her own mark on them.
She could hear them though. Drunk fans she could tell weren't even actual fans. They didn't have any merch on them, were only holding drinks in their hands, and they kept pointing at her girls before whispering to each other, only to burst out into raucous laughter soon after.
This had happened before. Plenty of people loved to get their signatures to try to sell online to actual fans, or to get pictures with them to brag about it even if they didn't actually care about Huntrix. It was rare that they got that far but it did happen.
Bobby couldn't always verify the crowds and this kind of thing, where more time was added abruptly, it was difficult to keep an eye on the type of people entering their lines.
Being territorial may not be a bad thing that day if it kept her girls safe.
There was only twenty minutes or so left, they could make it through this. She looked over at Zoey's side of the table as the new group arrived, leaning back to take a sip of her water.
They were loud, leaned over the table a little too much, but they didn't do anything to Zoey. Something loosened in her chest as she watched them move to Rumi. Maybe she was worried for nothing. The group seemed annoying, sure, but they hadn't—
"Hey, pretty leader, let us get a picture of those tattoos!" Before she could blink, a hand had shot across the table to grab Rumi by the shoulder, yanking her forward to get a better look at her patterns. Security was moving, yelling, but Mira was faster.
She pulled Rumi's chair back with one hand while the other grabbed the man's wrist, squeezing hard enough she felt something grind beneath her fingers. It gave her a sick sense of satisfaction, watching how his smug face slipped right into fearful panic. He yelped and the only reason Mira let go without breaking his entire arm was Rumi clutching her top, trembling ever so slightly in a way that just fueled her rage further.
"Don't you ever touch her again!" The words were practically snarled as she slipped an arm around Rumi's waist. "Next time you try some dumb shit like that, I'll break your face."
He sputtered trying to give excuses that had her nearly lunging across the table if not for Rumi being glued to her side. She wanted to kill him, to call her weapon and treat him like a demon attacking them. A part of her wanted to smash her fist into his nose, to throw him across the room, to curl up around Rumi like she could protect her from everything in the world with her body.
"Mira, please." Rumi's little whisper was all she heard through the blood rushing in her ears. Security was on it now and she could see Zoey turning to get Bobby for them, so she focused all her attention on her girlfriend. "Take me back to the greenroom."
Mira didn't care to do any damage control so she obeyed. With one look to Zoey who just gave a thumbs up, she slipped back down the hall that had led them out there, worry starting to overtake her anger as she felt Rumi still shaking.
It wasn't often people scared them, wasn't often fans did anything to cross lines that put them into bad spaces, but Rumi had always been a master at hiding her discomfort if anything went too far. For her to be like this, it ripped Mira in two.
On one hand she was happy that her girlfriend wasn't hiding from her, but on the other, she hated that she had to deal with it at all.
"I'm sorry, Rumi." She murmured it the moment they got inside and the door was closed behind them. Sitting on the couch, she pulled Rumi onto her lap, gently rubbing her back when she just tucked her head into Mira's neck. "I should have stopped them before they got to you, I saw them in the crowd but I didn't—"
"No! Mira, you didn't do anything wrong." Rumi leaned back, eyes wide and Mira dipped right into confusion when she realized Rumi's patterns were pink, not purple or red. "I'm not upset, I mean that sucked and was uncomfortable but they didn't scare me."
"You were trembling, baby."
"Not because of him." Rumi shifted almost nervously and for a horrible moment, Mira thought she'd scared her. She wondered if she'd finally been too sharp, too aggressive, but then Rumi kissed her so hard that she felt the couch shift backward just a bit. A low growl ripped from Rumi's chest when Mira's brain took too long to catch up to the moment, her eyes glowing as she pulled back to look at her. "You're just so damn hot when you get like that."
"What? A territorial asshole?" Mira couldn't stop herself from saying it, wincing when Rumi blinked and then narrowed her eyes, as if seeing through her.
"Is that what you've been so worried about?" She sounded incredulous and yet relieved. "Mira, dear, Zoey and I like that you get so possessive. Why do you think we let you bite us so much?"
"We all bite." The words were grumbled, petulant, but she continued with a defeated sigh. "I've never felt this out of control. I want to fight our fans whenever they get too close, if interviewers get too weird I want to kill them. I never thought I'd turn into one of those jealous raging people who mark their partners like they're things but I just.. I don't want you guys to feel used or controlled or like I'll snap if you get close to other people."
Rumi didn't speak for a long moment as she processed but then she just sighed, slipping from the couch to sit with her head on Mira's lap, looking up at her with these wide watery eyes that nearly snapped her heart in two.
"You could never be a horrible partner to us, Mira. If you're jealous or angry or possessive, it's okay, just talk to us about it. We can help you work through it, like you guys help me with my instincts. I need you to talk to us like we promised okay? I almost..." She hesitated so Mira slipped a hand down to cup her cheek, softly brushing her thumb across the pattern that curved below her eye. "I started to think you were... ashamed of me or something, in public, since you only started to act weird and tense at public events."
Oh. She'd sworn to herself to never let Rumi feel horrible like that again and she'd nearly pushed her girlfriend into thinking she didn't love her as much as she does.
"I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel like that, baby." Leaning down, Mira pressed little kisses all across Rumi's face, pleased when her patterns flickered between iridescent blue and gold. "I don't like feeling like I'm the aggressive idiot my family always believed I was and I was afraid I'd finally push things too far. Talking about it made it feel too real, I thought I'd just get a hold of it myself."
"Mira, you being possessive and protective of us is hot." Rumi's statement was blunt, nearly making her choke on her tongue. "I don't know if you've noticed, but Zoey and I are kind of obsessed with you, and each other. I think the Honmoon tying us even closer together intensified our already existing feelings or something, I don't know, but what I do know, is that we don't mind you wanting people to know we're yours." She watched as Rumi nuzzled at her thigh, her hands coming up to play with the waist of her jeans. "Possess me all you want, chase away whoever gets too close, I don't mind."
"Rumi, that's an insane thing to say." Even if it made her breath hitch, even if she could feel arousal starting to swirl in her veins at the very idea.
"Maybe it's the demon in me." The words were low, rumbling with something that made the Honmoon tremble around them. "But I don't really care." She tugged at her pants, looking up with a mischievous smile. "Can I pull these down?"
"What are you going to do?" The question was fairly unnecessary as she lifted her hips anyway, swallowing when Rumi quickly popped the buttons and worked the material down to her knees, pulling her briefs down as well.
"I'm going to relax you with a little reward for defending my honor." Rumi giggled as she nuzzled closer, kissing across her thigh until she reached where her cock was growing stiffer by the second. Still, she paused, waiting until Mira met her gaze again and nearly making her tear up with the love shining in her eyes. "If you don't want to do this here, or you feel uncomfortable, you can stop me at any time, okay? I can control myself long enough to give you head at home if you prefer."
Fuck, she just had to say it like that. Rumi's smug smirk told her she knew what she was doing but the checking in, the consideration, was so sweet, so entirely Rumi.
"Zoey's gonna be mad we didn't wait for her." Was all the answer she gave, twitching her hips up when Rumi turned her head to playfully bite at her hip.
"No she won't. We can all play at home, right now she's dealing with fans and Bobby, so we have a little time to help you unwind." Rumi kissed the bite mark she'd left behind, little red indents that had Mira twitching into Rumi's hand as she gently wrapped her fingers around her.
It didn't take long for her to feel almost painfully hard, Rumi's hand moving slowly up and down, swirling her thumb around the tip to smear her pre-cum along the length. The entire thing was maddening, she didn't know if it lasted moments or multiple long minutes but either way, she was panting through her nose when Rumi finally got close enough for her breath to tickle her.
"I thought this was a reward, not torture." She huffed when Rumi just giggled at her again but then finally, blissfully, Rumi's tongue swirled across the head, one arm laying across Mira's abdomen to keep her from bucking too hard.
All of her senses were overtaken by Mira, Mira, Mira.
She could smell her on the air, more potent than before, and as her tongue slid across her skin, she was overwhelmed with the need for more. Salty and sweet to Rumi's palette, she chased the little sparks of what only Mira tasted like, needing to infuse it entirely with her own being.
One hand had moved to her hair, mussing up her braid until Mira could twist it around her fingers. She didn't push, didn't demand, but just held her there, like she needed to be sure Rumi was real.
Not able to wait any longer, Rumi wrapped her lips around Mira's cock, slowly taking her into her mouth. It was always a bit of a shock, just how big Mira was, the weight of her on Rumi's tongue, and this was still quite the new development, but every time, something in her spine turned absolutely liquid at the feeling.
The trust Mira had for her with her fangs, the way she let Rumi do this for as long as she liked, even when she got sensitive and twitchy, because she knew Rumi craved the connection now that she'd experienced it. All of it just made her head feel fuzzy and her limbs heavy as she focused all of her energy into pleasing her girlfriend.
Mira liked to be in charge, Rumi liked it when she was, liked it when Zoey was as well, but there was something special about this. It felt the same with Zoey. Anytime she was able to lick at her, to suckle her clit just like she likes to swallow Mira's dick, it was electrifying.
Maybe she had a bit of an oral fixation. She blamed the demon instincts, her want to bite and hold onto her girlfriends, a new thing she had to be sure she didn't do on impulse multiple times a day whenever they were out of the house.
"Fuck, Rumi, good girl." She sounded so wrecked already, the praise slipping from her tongue with a little hitch of breath that left Rumi languid and warm at her feet.
Moving the hand she'd had around the base down, Rumi hummed as she cupped Mira's balls, a thrill running through her when her girlfriend bucked up, restrained only by the arm she still had over her waist. She liked the feeling, the weight, the heat. A part of her wanted to shift down, to run her tongue all along them, to suck one into her mouth so she could feel it there when Mira came, but she restrained herself.
Another time. Maybe even later that night.
For now she just moved her hand back up, moving to kiss where she'd just touched, almost like an apology for neglecting them, before she immediately took the length back down her throat. The choked sound Mira made was delicious, the grip on her hair tightening as she bent forward.
She swallowed, keeping the base held in her hand to keep it steady as she bobbed her head. Slowly, methodically, up and down, being sure every inch of Mira's cock got some love.
Every time she felt her twitch on her tongue, Rumi slowed, moving back to swirl little circles around the head. It felt like teasing, but mostly, Rumi just didn't want to stop just yet.
The hand in her hair loosened but before she could whine about it, Mira moved to run her fingers through what she'd freed from the braid, scratching behind Rumi's ears every time she made a pass. It was sweet, almost soothing, as if Mira understood, like she'd suffer through the torture of Rumi edging her without really meaning to if it kept her happy.
Her eyes rolled back, her pace picking up just a little as she sunk into the sensation, feeling that love inside of her chest swelling until she felt so full of affection she might burst.
Mira thought she'd die on that couch.
Rumi kept getting her on the edge before slowing down, gently swiping her tongue until she relaxed back into the couch. She felt anything but relaxed, however, as the heat coiling in her gut was becoming nearly unbearable.
Yet she couldn't deny her kitten of a girlfriend. Her sweet tiger who just liked to feel them, who needed constant touch as often as possible, who seemed to have developed some sort of mouthy need ever since she stopped hiding her demon side. If Rumi was enjoying herself so much, she'd deal with it, she'd handle it, she'd—
"Oh fuck!" Rumi was purring.
Looking down, she caught the blissed out look on her girlfriend's face, the half lidded eyes and the glowing pink of her patterns that flickered in time with her heartbeat. It almost looked like Rumi hadn't even heard her cursing, her body so loose and almost melted into Mira's legs. The arm over her abdomen wasn't as tight either, as if something in Rumi's brain had shifted and now she was the one receiving all the pleasure.
Gods, fuck, Rumi was entirely getting off on giving her head.
"I should have known she would take her time." Zoey's voice pulled Mira's focus back up, their girlfriend leaning against the door. She heard the click of the lock and wondered how she hadn't even heard Zoey come in. "Damage control is done. Bobby is calling us a car but we have a little time."
As she spoke, Zoey went to the couch, curling into Mira's side. One glance at Rumi had her giggling, reaching down to play with her hair as well. That only deepened the purring, filling the room almost as much as Mira's responding moan did.
"She's so eager." Mira panted, experimentally moving her hips up to match the way Rumi bobbed her head. The action wasn't restricted or stopped, so she kept it up,
"This was supposed to be about you, not giving Rumi what she wants." Zoey giggled again, catching Mira's chin with her hand to turn her head into a kiss. Almost immediately, her tongue pressed forward into Mira's mouth, taking control while it was allowed.
She didn't mind being at her girlfriends mercy like this, didn't mind giving them the reins for the moment.
Zoey took full advantage, attaching to her side as much as possible as the kiss turned deeper, sloppier, almost like she wanted to entirely consume Mira. It was an infectious delight to feel both of her girlfriends acting that way.
"You say that... like I don't also get what I want... by letting her suck me off for longer." Her words came out stuttered, groaned between breaths. Rumi wasn't stopping anymore, her head continuously bobbing along with the motion of Mira's hips, that purr a constant vibration against her.
"Does that mean you'll give me what I want when we get out of here?" Zoey's words were soft but Mira could hear the desire, could see the way her eyes darkened as she watched Rumi.
"What... do you want, baby?" She was getting so close. Everything felt heightened, Rumi's tongue merciless as she kept swirling it anytime she could. Zoey didn't answer right away, instead she let her arm fall down, her hand moving below Rumi's head to cup her balls.
The sensation nearly did her in immediately, Zoey's fingers moving gently along invisible lines, as if she were tracing Rumi's patterns on her skin instead.
"I want your tongue on me and then I want to feel these pressed right up against me while you fuck me into the mattress." Mira moaned, her head falling back as she pictured it. Between the idea presented to her and the fantasy actually happening to her, she thought she might combust. "Then, after we rest a bit, I want to double team Rumi until she's so fucked out she forgets how to do anything more than purr that pretty little sound of hers."
"Fuck, Zoey!"
"You like that idea?"
"I tend to like most of your ideas." She was breathless, curling down like her spine couldn't keep itself straight through the buzzing pleasure. "I'm gonna cum."
"Give our baby what she wants then." Zoey gently squeezed her balls, just the slightest of pressure between her fingers, and it combined with Rumi sinking down so far her nose pressed against Mira's abdomen made her let go.
The feeling of Rumi swallowing around her, releasing the grip her hand had to simply keep her down her throat, had Mira seeing stars. Her hand tightened its hold on Rumi’s hair, holding her down until her muscles relaxed. When she let her go, she expected Rumi to pull back with a gasp, prepared to apologize through the sudden heavy warmth in her bones, but instead, her girlfriend just pulled back slowly. Rumi lay her cheek on Mira's thigh, keeping the tip of her cock in her mouth, suckling as if she were trying to milk even more from her.
She felt oversensitive, the sensation bordering on too much, but she let it happen for a long moment. Instead, she focused on the soothing way Zoey rubbed the back of her neck, the hand that had been helping Rumi along now settling warm on her stomach.
"You taste good." There was a dreamy quality to Rumi's voice when she finally let her go, finally noticing the way she kept involuntarily twitching away from her mouth. As if to apologize for going so long, she pressed a soft kiss to the side of her shaft, then one to her balls, before she crawled up to tuck into Mira's other side. Her purr had never stopped and when Mira tilted her head up to kiss her, tongue immediately stealing into her mouth, the sound filled the quiet between them.
"Are you okay?" At first Zoey's question confused her before she realized she was talking about what had led to this situation.
"Yeah. I was getting too stuck in my head about feeling like I was becoming a jealous, controlling asshole because of how I was feeling when people got too close to you guys." Zoey frowned, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
"You could never be a horrible partner to us, Mira. I think you'd explode if you ever did something like that." She snorted at Zoey's words, rolling her eyes at the pleased grin sent her way. "Just talk to us next time you feel like that, please. We were really worried about you."
"I will, I already promised Rumi I would."
"Good." They settled into the quiet for a few moments but then Zoey helped her resituate her pants, giving her crotch a playful pat when the buttons were done. "Besides, if you ever feel a little jealous, just use that energy to love on us. We love you how you are because you’re you, Mira.” She leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of Mira’s mouth. “Nothing you do will ever scare us away, okay? It's both hot and incredibly sweet how protective you can get, we can handle you being all possessive."
"Even if I want to leave hickeys all over you so there's no question who you belong to?" Zoey's eyes darkened at her question.
"Mhm." Rumi hummed, nuzzling into her neck again before she crawled over her lap, tucking into Zoey's neck this time. She still seemed blissed out, like she'd been the one to get off, and the idea made Mira's eyes narrow.
"Rumi, did you cum?"
The whine that came in response told her no, as did the way Rumi squirmed her hips and peeked out at her from Zoey's shoulder with a pout.
"Our poor Rumi." Zoey's grin turned mischievous, one hand moving down to cup Rumi through her shorts. The choked breath she let out, as well as the sight of them entwined like that, had Mira already twitching back to life.
"Don't worry, baby, we'll give you a treat when we get home if you're good and listen to me." That had Rumi twisting to look at her, eyes glowing and head tilted in question.
"You're right, Mira, she IS eager." Zoey hummed as Rumi flushed but Mira just held her stare, cupping Rumi's face to be sure she had her full attention.
"When we get home, you're going to sit pretty and wait while I get Zoey off at least twice, and then, after we've recovered, you're going to take us both until we're satisfied you won't be able to walk at all tomorrow." Mira smirked as Rumi's eyes grew wide, her purr only getting louder as her patterns flickered between different shades of pink. Zoey just giggled from where she had shifted to hug Mira's arm to her chest, seemingly pleased she was feeling better.
"O-okay."
"Good girl." When both of her girlfriends shuddered at that, Mira felt that possessive need bubble up inside of her, a want to bite and mark and claim them so entirely they'd be stuck in bed the whole week.
They did say they liked her like this so maybe she could even make that a reality.
Notes:
For Rumi's colors:
all the time is just base iridescent
when relaxed, content, like melting into things, its shades of blue, the darker the blue the sleepier she is
when exuberant, joyful, full of good adrenaline like after a concert or just extremely happy, its shades of gold, the brighter the happier
when embarrassed or horny or anything in a flustered way, its shades of pink, darker pinks is more towards the embarrassment side and lighter is the horny side
dark emotions turned inward so guilt, grief, shame, self anger etc are all shades of purple, the darker the more intense the feeling
dark emotions turned out like fury, reactions to if the girls get hurt by someone etc, they're different shades of red, the darker/closer to black they are the closer rumi is to going like full demon sicko mode
any other colors like green, yellow, orange, are all just flickers? like they'll show when shes hungry or jealous or any other fragment of emotion, but they dont stick around and dont glow as much as the other colors so they dont have assigned specific emotions but they do happen and when they do, mira and zoey kinda know its like shes feeling something enough to make the colors flicker but not enough for it to stick around longer than like fkshkd u kno like a minute long pout session before u move on
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FOR THEIR PARENTS:
to me Zoey's parents are divorced and both sides tried to make the Perfect Life Image to show they were taking better care of Zoey and she would definitely choose them because obviously her life was best with them... which basically led to her actual wants being ignore, her being neglected through just not being heard and her actual life plans being sneered at, and her trying to be as perfect as possible to gain their approval and love but slowly realizing over time that she'd never truly be able to do that
Mira's parents just never understood her, and never tried, so she was passed off to like random cycles of nanny's to care for her more when she was a kid. At first she tried to box herself in but she realized quickly that didn't work and she hated it, so she decided to just be unapologetically herself and find whatever ways she could to get attention and love., when that failed, she ignored them right back and when she moved out, they basically cut her off. when she got famous and made her way, she cut them off right back.
Celine sucks. We'll talk abt tht next chapter.
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I'm planning another one shot that goes more into Rumi's demon side, how the demon parts effect the connection to the girls through the Honmoon, how the Honmoon now works etc
also thinking abt doing some abo if anyone is interested
Chapter 3: Rumi
Notes:
last one for this lil fic :3 i'll be doing some more in this universe tho, and some other polytrix fics as well <3
Chapter Text
Rumi had been the leader of Huntrix from day one. Celine crafted the group around her once she realized her power, and realized how intensely the Honmoon reacted to her. She'd once said that her voice was a gift in apology for her demonic blood, that she'd been given the way to fix her faults, as long as she could make it through until they were gone.
She knew now she was wrong, knew that Celine's own hatred and fear of her demonic side had been what drove her to treat Rumi the way she did.
Knowing didn't ease the hurt, however, nor did it change the fact that she'd forever be the leader.
Bobby wanted to turn Huntrix into more. To protect them, he wanted to break Celine's contract so that he could hire everyone they needed in house instead. There were also plans to make a dance studio where they'd hire specific dancers to teach anyone who wanted to learn how to dance, all for free, all on Huntrix's dime.
It wasn't like they lacked money. Rumi had old money, an inheritance from her mother that had been passed down from her own parents, grandparents she'd never met. On top of that, they had all their Huntrix money and a second inheritance from Mira. She’d had one relative that loved her entirely and when her great aunt had died, all of her property went to Mira, one last fuck you to the other members of her family.
They weren't hurting for funds, especially since they'd long ago decided to just merge bank accounts, sharing the wealth once they really knew they'd never want to be apart from one another.
That fact was solidified even more after they finally got together and within one single day, Zoey had asked when they could get married and Mira had simply replied when she got the right ring. It had been teasing, playful, but to Rumi, it had been a signal that they'd be together for the rest of their lives.
So they were prepared to do things to keep fans on their side, even with Rumi's new look and the plans to come out soon.
Really soon.
Their break would be over in two weeks, though they wouldn't be doing any public appearances for another two or three months.
In two weeks, however, they were going back to working on music, posting on social media, and training, for both combat and dance.
The new album would be focused on this new era they'd introduced, thanks to Bobby's crisis management of what had happened.
It was set in stone now that the Saja Boys were a plant group, only meant to help Huntrix usher in said new era. They'd laid it out as Rumi having scars for a long time, hidden by makeup and shame, but she'd wanted to stop that. So she'd gotten white ink tattoos to cover them in a way that felt like reverence, and they'd put out the story that patterns meant a demon, to sort of explain away the Takedown performance and why they'd acted like that before the coming together and forgiveness of What It Sounds Like.
So their new era was hunters of old who have a half-demon among them, working in new ways of acceptance and love to protect the world.
A bit on the nose, basically hiding nothing, but Rumi was happy with that. The public didn't know demons were real, couldn't see the true colors of her patterns or the shimmers of the Honmoon, but it felt nice to have her truth out in the world.
Some fans still called for Takedown to be fully released but the girls kept it close to the chest. Mira never wanted Rumi to have to deal with hearing the song all the time and anytime Zoey heard it, thought about how terrified Rumi had been after that day, she tended to burst into tears at the lyrics she'd written.
So, for now, the song was shelved and they were focusing on the future instead.
A future that needed present her to be the leader she'd always be.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Bobby's voice was gentle, giving her an out, but she just nodded. She hadn't seen Celine in a long time but she'd gotten a few texts and calls, that she'd ignored thanks to the contents of those texts, since everything happened.
"I have to face her eventually."
"No." Taking her hands, Bobby made sure Rumi's eyes met his before he continued. "You never have to see or speak to her again if you don't' want to, I'll make sure of it. Just like I've ensured Mira's family has absolutely no way of contacting her, I can do the same for you. No matter what she tries to pull here today, I won't agree to it if you don't want it or don't feel comfortable."
Rumi would not cry outside Celine's building, she would not do it.
"I know, Bobby, thank you, but I think I need to do this. I still..." She didn't know how to say she still loved the only parent she'd ever known, that she still craved her acceptance and had this sliver of hope that Celine might just be proud of her after everything. It felt weak, stupid, to feel that way, but she needed to know if it really was. There had to be a concrete answer to if Celine could still be somewhat in her life or if she really, truly, was someone that was just toxic to Rumi's well being. "I just need to know. If this goes bad, then yes, please do that for me, so she can't get to us again, but if it goes well..."
"I get it, Rumi." He really seemed to, giving her arm a little pat. "I'll have things prepared for if it goes bad, just in case, but if it goes well, then we'll all support you. We're in your corner, no matter what happens."
Was this what an actual father figure felt like? If they hadn't been heading inside to a very important meeting, Rumi may really have just hugged him and cried into his shoulder for a while.
Instead, they headed inside.
Unlike the Huntrix tower, Celine worked from a simpler building, only three floors and hidden away so she didn't have to deal with crowds. They were let in with a simple glance, everyone already knowing who they were and, most likely, prepared for this.
What this was, Rumi didn't really know.
Bobby had simply said he'd told Celine about wanting to separate, about self containing more to protect them, and she'd offered a deal, so long as they went to meet her together. If he'd turned her down, this still could have worked, but it would have taken much longer, would have had a lot more lawyers and contracts involved, so they'd agreed to at least hear her out.
This kind of thing was basically unheard of in the industry, so they wanted to handle it quietly if possible.
All of this just to protect her.
It made her insides twist with guilt, though she could hear Mira's voice in her head, soft and warm as it reminded her that it was never a burden to care for her.
Over time, her girlfriend's voices were growing louder than Celine's in her mind. Though it wasn't perfect and she knew it's take a lot longer than a few months for that to really go away, it was reassuring to have their words sink in so smoothly.
They loved her, she loved them, and she'd do this for them as much as they were all doing this for her.
They went up, Rumi barely processing anything until they were in a conference room, until the door closed behind them and she realized she should sit down.
Seeing Celine was like a punch to the gut.
Her eyes looked tired, dark circles peeking out from her makeup, and while her hair and outfit were pristine, Rumi could see the slight chipping of her nail polish. Celine didn't look at her, not really.
Rumi watched as her eyes skipped over her skin, like her patterns were the wrong side of a magnet and her gaze couldn't remain.
Yet she met Bobby's eye, held his stare and fully spoke to him.
Something dark in her gut twisted, patterns flickering between colors, and finally, finally, Celine fully looked her way. Her expression was perfectly hidden, poised and calm, but Rumi caught the twitch in her eye, heard the darkness dripping from every word.
"Hello, Rumi. I hope you've been well." Smooth, easy, basic conversation and it made Rumi want to vomit.
"Yeah, I'm good." She was going to ask how Celine was, to try to move things forward, but Celine was turning away from her before she'd even finished those three words. Rumi shrunk into her seat, unable to do much more as she just listened to Celine and Bobby talk.
Not that she processed anything that was said.
In the blur of it all, she could only hear what had been drilled into her mind over the years.
Your patterns aren't you, Rumi, they're just a mistake.
No one can know, they never can, or else you'll lose them.
Hide your faults, never let your shame be seen. No one can know the depth of you.
She caught sight of her patterns slipping to purple, shimmering red just at the tips of her fingers. A mess of emotion, everything horrible swirling like a miasma within her soul. The Honmoon thrummed around her, rumbling and then soothing with a soft hum, wrapping around her as if Zoey was there to hug her, like Mira was playing with her hair while whispering gentle things in her ear.
Her panic had been transmitted and they'd answered, immediately and without question.
The purple shifted back down to the silvery iridescent she was growing used to seeing every day.
It was so quick, colors rippling like water shifting around a raindrop, but she knew Celine had noticed it all. Her voice had gotten severe, almost strained in a way that told her she really wasn't connected to the Honmoon anymore, since she couldn't truly tell what had just happened.
"Rumi? Are you okay with that?" Bobby sounded angry, upset, and she realized they'd probably been trying to address her for a while.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"I'll sign everything over today. The company will belong to you, managed by Bobby, entirely. However, my condition is that we speak privately in my office while Bobby signs everything."
"It would only take about ten minutes to finish." Rumi really thought she might actually vomit this time. "Hey, look at me." Blinking through the tightness in her chest, Rumi looked over to Bobby, winded by the care in his eyes. "You can say no, Rumi. Like I said before, if there's anything you don't want to do, then we'll work around it. You have the final say."
Right. This had been her choice in the first place.
She took in a deep breath, letting it center her, using it to feel less like that broken child that Celine always made her feel like, and then looked at her again.
"I'll do it." Celine raised a brow at that, looking almost pleased before Rumi cleared her throat. "But I want our guards outside the room. They won't hear, I know your office is soundproof, but I'd just feel better with eyes on us."
Celine just looked confused for a moment, lost as if she hadn't spent Rumi's entire life making her feel unsafe because of who she was. Her eyes cut between Rumi and Bobby, as if trying to read an invisible line between them, before she just sighed, looking so tired Rumi felt a curl of guilt.
"Fine. I don't have a problem with that."
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, it'll be fine."
She hoped her voice didn't tremble, didn't sound like the death knell for her relationship with Celine that she worried this meeting may be.
Mira watched as Zoey paced the length of their living space. They'd been doing their best to relax while Rumi was gone, turning the couch into a comfort nest. Bobby had mentioned bringing food back with them so they'd avoided the kitchen, instead just focusing on being sure anything Rumi may need would be within reach of the couch.
Then the Honmoon had rippled, calling out to them with a sharp whimper that they'd instinctively answered. Rumi had needed them and while it had only been a moment, a tremble in their bonds, it had left them on edge ever since.
All they could do was wait.
"You don't think she'd hurt Rumi, do you?" Zoey's voice seemed so small it made Mira's heart ache.
"No." She hesitated and then sighed. "Not with Bobby there, at least. He insisted on taking guards, remember? This isn't like she's facing a demon alone, he made sure she's got extra backup."
They didn't voice why that backup hadn't been them. Mira knew that was on her head. If she saw Celine, possibly ever again, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from lashing out at the woman. Truthfully, Mira didn't know if she could trust herself not to break Celine's entire face if they ever saw one another again. Zoey seemed in the same boat, a rage Mira had never really seen flickering in her eyes every time they'd discussed this meeting over the past week.
While they'd have loved, and preferred, if they were there to support Rumi, they also knew she needed to face Celine in a way that didn't involve either of them threatening her every few seconds.
So they'd compromised. They stay home but Bobby uses the best guards they have from their fan events. Then right before they left, Bobby had mentioned he brought double the muscle.
They'd all protect Rumi as much as they could, no matter what.
"I just.. She felt so scared earlier, through the Honmoon. Why would she be so scared?" Zoey twisted her hands together, giving up on pacing to instead throw herself on the couch, curling up onto Mira's lap.
"I don't know. It may have been an initial reaction, honestly. Her patterns kept flickering to red and purple every time she even said Celine's name, I'm sure actually seeing her would have been worse." Mira clenched her jaw as she pictured it, wanting more than ever to slam her fist into Celine's face.
There had been a time they'd looked up to Celine, where they followed her every word. Rumi had always been a little stiffer around her, a little more intense, but they'd always just thought that was because Celine was her guardian. Mira knew Celine was harder on Rumi, had seen exactly how much she pushed her, but for a long time, she just didn't think anything of it beyond Rumi being their leader and Celine trying to be sure she was the best she could be.
It was stupid, she'd been so blind. Not even about the demon stuff, but just blind to how horrible Celine was to Rumi. She and Zoey had been sucked into having a guardian figure that didn't treat them like their own families did, that tended to allow their mistakes so long as they fixed it and improved, that they didn't even grasp just how badly Rumi had been suffering for so many years.
Self-loathing clawed at her gut like a demon all its own but she knew Rumi wouldn't want that, could practically feel the admonishing bite her girlfriend would give her before kissing the space as she told Mira to never blame herself.
So she turned all that resentment toward hating Celine instead.
"Mira! Your phone!" Blinking, Mira looked over to see Zoey frantically digging through the blankets to find her phone. It was ringing, she registered, just as Zoey answered it on speaker.
"Hi, Bobby!"
"Hey, girls. The meeting is done and we stopped to get some food but, well, I think we'll have to go with the things went badly protocol." He sounded exhausted and Mira could feel her heart breaking for Rumi. No matter how much she loathed Celine now, Rumi had still been hopeful.
Even with everything Celine had done, Rumi still loved her. Their sweet girlfriend always did what Celine told her, always listened to her world like it was law, and ever since the recreation of the Honmoon, she'd had to relearn so many things that Celine had been wrong about. She'd had to learn how to be herself entirely.
Even after it all, Rumi craved to hear that Celine loved her, that she was proud of her, that she believed in her. Mira could understand it, that had been nearly her entire childhood, and it hurt to know Rumi's hopes had been crushed.
"How is she?" Zoey's voice cracked, a tiny tremor that told Mira she was feeling the same heartbreak for their girl.
"Well, she hasn't looked me in the eyes since we left and she asked me to buy her a hoodie. She keeps trying to cover herself, I had to stop her from scratching at her arms." He sighed and Mira heard some rustling. "We got the deal but Celine only gave her easy contracts if Rumi met with her alone. Rumi agreed, so I didn't fight it, but ever since she's just been pretty beat down."
"Fuck." Rage bubbled in Mira's gut. Anything could have been said to her, Celine could have done more than enough damage like that.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to force her to not do it, but maybe I should have declined it for her."
"No, letting her choose was the right thing, Bobby." Sorrow laced Zoey's voice and Mira tried to calm herself. They needed her present and strong and calm, not ready to lose it at a moment's notice. "She needed to know exactly what Celine really thought, even if it hurt."
"Get her the hoodie, it'll help her until you get her home, but get one that would be oversized on me. She'll attach it to me so it can stay in her closet instead of only reminding her of Celine's rules." Bobby hummed over the line, obviously rushing to do just that. "Buy her a strawberry milk too. Zoey's been giving her one every time she gets upset and it seems to help."
"Sure thing. Do you guys want anything specific?"
"Just whatever is quick that you know we like. There's still a lot of food in the kitchen from the last run and if I have to, I can always cook something she likes."
"We've got things set up for maximum comfort already!" Zoey tapped her fingers against the couch. "I can run her a bath too, it might help, especially if she did any damage to her arms."
"She seemed fine but I had to leave her alone in the car to shop." Worry tinged Bobby's voice again as he sighed. "I'll be quick, then. We should be at the tower in twenty or thirty minutes."
"Thanks, Bobby." The line went dead and for a long moment, neither of them moved or spoke.
All they could do was wait.
The hoodie felt like comfort instead of shame. The front had a cute dog on it and that, combined with how the sleeves hung over her hands, just made her think of the clothes she'd steal from Mira to sleep in.
Though she should have expected that. It was obvious Bobby had called her girls, the strawberry milk a dead giveaway. It felt like a hug from afar, to be so cared for even when they weren't together.
Not that it erased what was clawing at her mind, Celine's words echoing as if she had the abilities of Gwi-Ma, digging claws deeper with every passing moment. Guilt flared at the comparison but it was fleeing, the tears still wet on her cheeks reminding her of exactly who had done this to her.
"Do you want me to come up with you?" Bobby handed her the bags of food he'd gotten, concern heavy in his eyes.
"No, I got it." Her voice was scratchy with emotion, crackling as exhaustion weighed heavy on her bones. "You still have a lot to do with all this, don't worry about me."
"I'll always worry about you three. You're my girls, it's what I do." The grin he shot her warmed her heart and even through her tears, she couldn't stop herself from smiling right back. "Just go relax, Rumi, you deserve the rest."
"We've been resting for weeks."
"And you've needed it." He squeezed her arm and then turned to go back to the car. She watched him go, warring with the feelings swirling in her chest.
The elevator up to the penthouse was torture. No one was there to distract her, nothing to keep her from her thoughts and the soft glow of her patterns as they flickered through a kaleidoscope of color.
She shouldn't have met with her. It felt so silly now, to think a woman who couldn't actually look at her, who couldn't love her beyond the echo of her mother, would ever accept her entirely. Celine could never love the demon within her, could never see past the patterns and would never understand who Rumi was, no matter how hard she tried to get her to see.
Her eyes burned, the tears never stopping, so when the doors opened and she was swept into warm arms, Rumi couldn't even see which girlfriend reached her first. They squished her between them and Rumi felt a sob bubble up in her throat when a kiss was pressed to her cheek.
"We've got you." Mira's voice was warm in her ear, her hand on the back of Rumi's neck steadying as Zoey took the bags from her hands.
"You sh-shouldn't see, shouldn't t-touch." Her voice was a wreck, stuttering out between hitched breaths. Rumi hid her hands in the sleeves of the hoodie as soon as she'd let the bags go, but Zoey didn't let her retreat for long. Carefully, her girlfriend slipped her own hands into the sleeves, entwining their fingers as Mira kissed her forehead.
"Your patterns are beautiful, Rumi, every part of you is beautiful." Zoey's voice was reverent, warm and gentle as she reached up to pull the hood down. Rumi's braid was nearly half unraveled now, only held together by how she'd tucked her hair into the hoodie. Her cheeks were pink, eyes red, but the purple glow was fading.
She felt a little wild, like all of her instincts were contradictory.
Rumi held Zoey's hands like they were a lifeline, she leaned into the way Mira rubbed at the back of her neck, and yet she growled and snarled, as if to warn them she was a dangerous beast, an attack dog off its leash.
She could feel her fangs, not quite fully lengthening but filling her mouth with tiger's teeth, dangerous and sharp and, yet, Mira kissed her with a softness that melted the steel in her spine.
When Zoey started trying to walk her further inside, her growl grew louder, patterns flaring red. Her eyes were shimmering, she could practically feel them glowing as she looked between the two before her, avoiding their faces so she didn’t have to see the disgust she thought would be there. She couldn’t be sure if what she was seeing was truth or fantasy, Celine’s words haunting her mind. Her girlfriends stopped moving but Mira hushed her, clicking her tongue in a way that had her looking into her eyes before she could stop herself.
All she saw was concern, devotion, none of the fear or loathing or hate she thought would be present.
A whimper slipped free then, the red flickering to purple as she realized what she was doing, who she was trying to chase away.
She'd promised to never hide from them again and yet, what did she do the moment Celine got into her head?
All her fight zapped out of her, nearly collapsing onto the floor if Mira hadn't already been wrapped around her. She whined, tucking her head into Mira's neck, nuzzling and clutching her when Zoey released her hands to try to help her stand.
Maybe she really was just a demon, lost to instinct and wild desire, but she could never hurt them. Not in the way Celine insisted she would, not in the way those horrific ideas she'd dripped into Rumi's ears so she thought there was venom in her kiss and only death in her hands.
At least she hoped so.
Maybe hope wasn’t enough.
"It's okay, Rumi, just hold onto me, baby." She felt helpless, obeying on reflex. Her arms wrapped around Mira's shoulders, holding so tight she worried she might accidentally leave finger shaped bruises behind.
Of course she would, Celine had said as much, had told her that was all a demon could do.
Zoey felt something break in her at how she could see the way Rumi shut down. There was a part of her that still clutched at them, almost like she subconsciously knew she could rely on them, their connection thrumming strong through the Honmoon.
A glance up told her Mira was fighting something of her own, her eyes closed and her jaw clenched.
"Can you pick her up?" Mira just nodded, carefully shifting Rumi until she was able to slip one arm under her knees as she cradled her to her chest with the other. "Bring her to the bathroom. Hopefully that will help and we can at least get her cleaned up."
They were quiet the entire walk, only Rumi's apologetic whispers filling the air.
Zoey didn't want her to apologize for anything, didn't want her to feel sorry for how she reacted after such a hard day, didn't need her to feel like she had to make up for just existing.
It felt like every move was made in slow motion, time not working right just to make it all the more difficult to handle. The tub was filling quickly and for a moment, Zoey had the insane thought of the bath house. It wouldn't fix anything then, may even make it all worse if Rumi panicked, but she craved the larger space, the heated water that would absolutely melt the worries from Rumi's shoulders.
This would have to do, however. They had made sure the penthouse had oversized tubs installed so she knew they could fit in there together at least.
"I'll get in with her." Mira hummed, never moving her gaze away from Rumi as she kissed the top of her head over and over. "I'll need your help if we wash her hair."
"We probably should, it looks like she was pulling at it." Zoey sighed, eyeing the way her braid was coming apart. "We can just wrap her in one of those robes after the bath, it'll soak up whatever we don't dry when we're done."
Mira moved to set Rumi down on the edge of the counter, thankful for their ridiculously luxurious bathrooms. Rumi didn’t make it easy, a mournful howl leaving her throat when Mira let her go. The sound shook the Honmoon, nearly bringing Zoey to tears with the horrific emotions that were chaotically swirling within Rumi. It had only been for a moment that they could feel it through the connection but that was enough.
They kept their hands on her until she seemed to realize she wasn’t being left alone. Mira kept kissing her head, her face, while Zoey rubbed her arms.
"We're not leaving, Rumi, I promise." Rumi sniffled, looking so lost and fearful that Zoey really considered going to throw Celine off a building. "Can we take this off, baby? Zoey's getting a bath ready for you."
Rumi looked torn, eyes darting between them. Her pattern color had settled, only flickering to purple at the edges.
"You'll stay?" The question was layered with so much it knocked the air out of Zoey's lungs. She sounded confused, conflicted, and oh so hopeful, her eyes shining amber in the light.
"Of course we'll stay." Mira kissed her nose, smiling when Rumi's eyes crossed to look at her. "Zoey will get in with you and I'll sit right next to the tub. When we're done here, the couch is already set up for a movie night, whatever you want."
"I won't..." Rumi hesitated, curling in on herself as she picked at the bottom of the hoodie. Her claws were out, fingers moving so carefully, like she thought she couldn't control them. "I don't scare you? Disgust you?"
Zoey wanted to scream. They'd spent the past few months helping Rumi get more comfortable in her skin, whispering to her every night how much they loved her and how she'd never do anything to chase them away. Yet one meeting with Celine had her sounding so unconvinced, so nervous and disbelieving.
"You could never disgust us, Rumi." She went to Rumi's side, bringing up her hand to kiss the back of it. "We don't find you scary or disgusting, not at all."
"You're our Rumi." Mira's voice had grown soft, her need to protect and comfort Rumi overtaking her rage at Celine. "Nothing will ever change that."
She didn't look like she fully accepted it but Rumi relaxed, wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her hoodie. Zoey went to turn the water off, plunging the room into silence as they waited.
"Okay." Rumi squirmed, uncomfortable, but then she sighed, holding her arms out. "I can't... Will you help me?"
Zoey watched as Mira melted, feeling affection bloom in her chest as she looked at her girlfriends. She went over as well, helping to maneuver her arms out of the sleeves so they could pull it over her head.
Rumi could have done it herself physically but emotionally? Instinctively? She felt the need to hide, to curl up like a frightened animal to lick her wounds without anyone seeing her. Yet, she was still letting them in, she was letting them care for her, even as her patterns flushed a dark pink that Zoey knew meant embarrassment.
Once the hoodie was gone, they made quick work of the rest of her clothes. Zoey undressed alongside her, Mira tossing her shirt off as well, knowing it would get wet if she were going to help.
Slowly, they got Rumi off the counter and over to the bath.
Zoey got in first, holding her hands out for Rumi to join her. She stepped in carefully, still nervous, still more growl than purr, but that didn't matter.
She was trying, she was working with them, and that's all she could ever ask for.
Emotion kept hitting her like a wave. She'd feel safe and then believe herself a danger. Mira would touch her and she'd lean in, only to then be struck with guilt for ever craving such a thing.
She wasn't meant to be, shouldn't be tainting their lives, she should have just—
"Stay with us, tiger." Mira's lips brushed against her cheek. Her hands were working on untangling her har from where she had settled at the side of the tub. With her focus now on one girlfriend, Rumi was fully aware of the press of Zoey's body against her back, the warmth of her scorching almost more than the water.
Her arms were wrapped around Rumi, tracing patterns with her fingertips. The sensation had her melting back into her, a hiccupped purr starting in her chest.
It felt wrong, to be able to feel this good and be so pampered.
"She said I was a mistake." Both girls froze for a moment but then Mira continued, finally freeing her hair entirely so she could start the arduous task of washing it. Zoey went to work washing her body down, gently and carefully and so obviously trying to give her the space to work out what she wanted to say. "When- I just- I went to meet with her because I thought after we remade the Honmoon, after everything, she'd be able to love me, all of me. I thought that maybe the demon side was okay now, that she'd see that all of me was tied to the Honmoon, not just the human parts."
Foolish. She'd been so stupid about it all.
Celine had always wanted to banish that part of her, saw an entire part of Rumi's being as a fault to be hidden. Her guardian hadn't ever been able to accept her, had always only loved the bits and pieces she could stomach.
She should have known since Celine hadn't truly looked her in the eyes for years.
"But she didn't." Mira spoke around a clenched jaw, her eyes fierce and yet so soft when she looked at Rumi. Actually looked at her, saw her for everything she was. Her fingers worked shampoo into her hair, going in sections to be sure everything was cleaned evenly, and for some reason, her diligent care brought the tears back.
"No, she didn't." A shuddered breath silenced her still sputtering purrs, speaking through half formed sobs. "All she'll ever see is a problem. I'll forever be the stain, the product of my mother's faults and in turn, the reason she died. I can't ever live up to her expectations because I'll always be a part of both worlds."
She quieted when Zoey hushed her, pressing kisses along her shoulders as she held Rumi tighter. Like she wasn't the worst being in the world, like she deserved to be cherished and adored.
"She said I'd hurt you, that all demons were selfish and cruel. That was why my father lured my mother in, apparently." The chuckle she let out felt like broken glass, slicing up her insides even as she tried to swallow the pain. "He was greedy, wanting to steal the love of a Hunter to weaken the Honmoon. She said I was repeating history, keeping you both from reaching your full potential. That she wished she'd been stronger, to fix my mother's mistakes, that she shouldn't have bent to the love she did have for me."
"Celine is an idiot and an asshole who doesn't deserve your attention." Mira leaned in, pressing their foreheads together as she helped Rumi to get her breathing under control. She hadn't even realized she'd been panting, heaving for breath through each word.
"She's wrong about it all, Rumi." Zoey gently turned her head to kiss her, suffusing so much warmth into Rumi she thought she might melt into the water. "I can feel for her pain at losing your mother, especially if they had anywhere near the type of connection we have through the Honmoon, but that's all I can spare her. She was horrible to you, about so many things, and she ended up making us horrible to you because she forced you to keep a big part of you a secret. If we'd known early on, we never would have let her lessons about demons continue!"
"Zoey's right." Mira had gone back to washing her hair, now moving up to massage her scalp. Rumi leaned into the touch, the purring that filled the room smooth and soft now. "If we'd known, we would have found ways to do our own research, we would have connected more with the Honmoon itself, we would have protected you from all that shit she kept teaching us."
Rumi relaxed between them.
They'd never lie to her, they never truly had and they never would after the promises they made to each other. It was bittersweet to know they'd have been fine with it. If she'd gone against Celine's orders, she wouldn't have been so lonely, wouldn't have felt so broken and disgusting.
If she'd trusted them, trusted her instincts, so much could have been different.
"Do you think she made me keep it a secret to punish me?" Her voice had faltered, quiet and drawn with fear of the answer.
Zoey and Mira didn't provide one anyway. Neither spoke but she could feel the trembling in their hands, could see the way rage sparked in Mira at the idea of Celine torturing Rumi all her life just to ease her own mind.
"No more thinking about the past." Zoey helped her to flip around, holding Rumi's head to her chest as she reclined, giving Mira easier access to her hair. "We have you now, Rumi, and we see you, we love you, all of you."
"And we always will." Mira kissed her shoulder, fleeting and gentle and Rumi whimpered, sinking into the feeling of skin against skin.
Celine was lucky Rumi needed them there with her. If it were up to Mira, she'd have gone to her home and ripped her apart.
Rumi had quieted down, relaxing under their care, but she was still fragile, like an exposed nerve, reactive to everything.
She'd finished with her hair and started to dry it while Zoey finished washing Rumi's body. Then Zoey let Rumi clumsily help to clean her up too, their poor girlfriend shaky and exhausted but unrelenting in her insistence at helping in some way.
"Do you want to get dressed? Or just the robe?" She whispered the question, like anything louder might shatter the peace around them. They'd gotten her up and partially out, sitting on the edge of the tub while Zoey drained it and wrapped a towel around her shoulders.
"Can.. Can we..." Rumi started, tripping over her words until she clammed up, looking almost ashamed for trying to ask for something.
"You're allowed to want something, Rumi." Zoey kissed her cheek, running the towel down her arms to dry her off.
They waited patiently, giving her the space to work it out. Mira could practically see the wheels turning in her mind, the battle between Celine’s rules and their rebuttals.Eventually she let out a slow breath with a slight nod.
"Skin contact." Rumi flushed, patterns flickering pink. "If I just wear the robe, can you.. keep your shirt off too?"
"Of course, baby." Mira felt pride flare in her chest, dropping the towel in her hands so she could cup Rumi's face. She kissed her, over and over until Rumi was putty in her hands. "You wanna lay on me then?"
"Yeah." She sounded breathless, dazed with the eye contact Mira was holding.
"Will you be okay with just my legs bare?" Zoey asked as she draped herself over them both, grinning at the look on Rumi's face. "I'm a little chilly but if I just throw on one of Mira's shirts, then your legs can go over mine."
Rumi's nod was quick, and would have been even more intense if Mira hadn't been still holding her face. She looked so sincere, almost pleading for praise and love, it made her chest hurt.
"I want you guys to be comfortable."
"We'll do that then." Mira watched as Zoey worked to finish drying Rumi off and then slid a robe over her shoulders. "Go find something to wear, baby, then meet us at the couch."
Zoey gave her a playful salute, practically skipping out of the bathroom to make Rumi laugh. It worked, her face pressing into her shoulder as she giggled.
She was so damn cute.
"Want me to carry you?" The way Rumi's patterns flashed gold before returning to pink told her all she needed to know. Before she could try to deny it, Mira scooped her up, smirking when Rumi squeaked a protest, her loud purring betraying how much she actually liked it.
As she settled into the pillows already waiting for them on the couch, Mira helped Rumi situate the robe so it would keep her long hair from drenching them but still give her the skin contact she wanted. Eventually, she ended up with Rumi curled into her chest, holding onto her like she was afraid Mira would vanish.
She heard more than saw Zoey moving around behind them before she skipped over to organize snacks on the table. She got onto the couch with them when she was done, putting Mira's legs under hers with Rumi's on top, effectively having Rumi trap them both.
Mira could see her hands slip under the robe, tracing lines along Rumi's legs that made her let out the sweetest little sigh.
"Relax, baby, we're here." Rumi's breath hitched, her head nuzzling closer. A kiss was pressed to her neck but before she could reciprocate in any way, Mira froze when she felt teeth against her skin. Not enough to puncture, just enough to press, to hold.
She waited for Rumi to let go but when she remained after a minute, her body lax and warm in Mira's arms, she relaxed into the touch.
The reaction was immediate.
Rumi's patterns flared blue, her purring deepened, and her muscles practically turned to jelly. Zoey giggled at the change and when Mira looked, she could see Rumi had found a way to securely hook her legs around Zoey, making sure neither of them could go.
"What did you do?"
"Let her bite me." Mira couldn't really move her head and neck at all like this but that didn't matter. If Rumi needed this extra contact, if this is what it took to get her this comfortable, then she'd happily stay in that space for as long as possible.
"Oh! That's an animal brain thing, it's probably part of her demon instincts." Zoey hummed, nodding at her own idea as if it were absolute truth. "She's done that a little bit before, sorta. She likes having us in her mouth."
The statement was so suddenly blunt it brought a light blush to Mira's face as she barked out a laugh. It startled Rumi, the girl growling softly around her flesh, but she didn't let go, being hushed with a kiss to her hand.
"I have noticed that. It's usually sucking on parts of us, though. The casual biting is new."
"Well, maybe she'll do it more now that she knows we won't run away from it." Zoey went back to tracing patterns, her smile softening when Rumi's glow brightened a bit. "I mean, she actually asked for something today and she's much more comfortable being bared to us like this."
"We both know she's a touch starved kitten." Rumi let out a disgruntled huff, telling them she was at least partially listening to them, though she refused to move. "I don't mind being naked, or partially so, at home more if she needs the skin on skin contact. It's not like anyone can easily see in here."
"Yeah, I don't mind either. I mean, I like the feeling too anyway, so, if it means even more cuddling, then I'm all for it."
"We are not turning the apartment into a nudist zone." Rumi grumbled, finally releasing the bite. She licked the spot softly, almost like an apology Mira chased off with a kiss to her head. "I like skin contact but I get a lot of it even when we're clothed. Just, maybe, occasional naked cuddling on the couch, instead of just in bed, would be nice."
Zoey just hummed her agreement, looking for something for them to watch. Mira tilted her head to look down at Rumi, pleased that her patterns were still glowing a soft blue.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. You two make everything better, you always do."
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