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"When the right cat comes along, I’m sure you’ll know, Nightpaw. He’ll be smart and strong and of course handsome.” Nightpaw frowned. That’s what she had been afraid of.
He.
She still listened knowing Tallstar was a fair leader. He wouldn’t judge her, or at least she hoped not. Nightpaw wasn’t sure how many cats crushed on cats of the same gender. She wondered if it was forbidden. She didn't want to get in trouble!
“He’ll make you laugh and smile, and you’ll know he’s the one for you,” Tallstar sighed. Nightpaw imagined he was thinking about his own mate and likely missing her. She wondered how long Tallstar would have been without a mate being so old.
“Don’t miss your chance, tell him your feelings. If he doesn’t accept, then I suppose there’s always someone else who could make you happy.” Sadness emerged from Tallstar’s eyes, and Nightpaw really wanted to ask about his own love life. She knew she had consulted him on matters of love, but it felt wrong to pry as he was the leader. Nightpaw gathered her courage and asked,
“Did you ever get a new mate?” Tallstar looked at her, sadness still there. He forced a laugh out and said gently,
“I think you should only be worrying about a first mate.” Nightpaw nodded, feeling guilty. She didn’t want to make him sad.
“So my mate could be anyone?” she questioned, deciding to move the attention onto herself. She would have to get to her true feelings eventually. She needed to hear what Tallstar would say about her preference.
“Well not a cat like me whose moons and moons and moons older than you,” Tallstar said, "But yes, pretty much any cat.” Nightpaw sucked in some air. She wasn’t sure if he understood what she was trying to say. Did his answer include she cats? Nightpaw hoped it did. The only interest she had felt so far was for she cats, and she didn’t want to get stuck with a tom if she had another option. Sure she could just never take a mate, but Nightpaw wanted to experience that love. She wanted to have kits even if biologically they couldn't be hers. Nightpaw was a tough warrior, but she had a soft spot for kits.
“Would it be okay if-” Nightpaw choked back her words. She couldn’t do it. She wanted confirmation so desperately that she was terrified of hearing the other answer. Tallstar could get upset, but he would never exile her…right? Nightpaw thought back wondering when the last time the wise old leader had been truly angered was.
“If what? You have a cross clan relationship?” guessed Tallstar. Nightpaw flinched knowing that was against the warrior code. She studied the white and black tom, not seeing anger but rather amusement.
“I suppose I could allow it if he’s handsome enough,” he teased. Nightpaw shook her head. She would never betray her clan like that. She was a bit worried wondering if Tallstar would have really been so okay with that.
“It’s not that,” she said. Tallstar nodded.
“I’m glad, but if he was from another clan, I wouldn’t stop you. I want my clanmates to be happy and if that means leaving for or bringing an outsider, I’ll allow it.”
“But that’s against the code!” cried Nightpaw. Tallstar looked up, reminiscing for a moment. His amber eyes glazed over as if they were in a different time. Nightpaw stared unsure if she should snap him out of it.
“Sometimes the code needs to be broken. Ja-Firestar has certainly taught me that,” Tallstar said with an awkward cough. Nightpaw nodded, having heard stories of Firestar’s rule breaking. She supposed it could be okay if the cats truly loved each other and were willing to change loyalties. Nightpaw shoved that introspection away, wanting to discuss her own dilemma. Tallstar had proved himself accepting, so why was she still so nervous? Nightpaw growled needing to just spit it out. Tallstar wouldn’t be angry, it couldn’t possibly be worse than cross clan romance.
“Can I love a she cat?” An immense weight lifted off her chest as the words left her mouth, and she looked at Tallstar, trying to figure out his reaction. He looked unfazed, like the concept wasn’t strange at all to him. He gave her a small assuring smile, and Nightpaw felt her fur relax.
“You can, Nightpaw. Your clanmates might not agree, but they can answer to me. I see nothing wrong with it. Starclan gives us love, and that love should never be restricted,” the Windclan leader advised. Nightpaw nodded, grateful, so so grateful.
“So if I wanted Thistlepaw to be my mate, I could mate with her,” she said wanting more reassurance. Tallstar’s smile didn’t fade, turning more lighthearted.
“Only if she agrees to of course.” Nightpaw felt a bit embarrassed. She would never force anyone to! That wouldn’t be right at all, but if Thistlepaw accepted, then they could be mates. Tallstar would allow two she cats to mate! He was okay with it, he was okay with her.
“Yes Tallstar! Thank you. I really needed this,” she confessed. Tallstar blinked, affectionately.
“I wouldn’t want any cat to miss out on love."