it's all fine until it's not

by luveunha

Summary:

Hyungseok has seen two people fall to their death. He has to have some sort of trauma, doesn't he?

⟡

daniel-centric fic about how i think he deals with charles and jiho's death

Notes:

daniel is the first body and hyungseok is the second body ... i didnt want to write the same names for both of them since for me, it could get confusing...

i know that he technically doesnt dream when both of his bodies work but i like to think he sometimes gets stuck in an in-between

Ever since he moved to Seoul, Park Hyungseok has always felt confused by the daily events that happen in his life.

He was able to get used to it, of course, nothing will ever be as confusing as the fact that he suddenly had a second body he could control and switch into whenever he fell asleep. He eventually got used to that as well, setting a routine for both bodies so he doesn’t end up tiring one of them out by accident. Why he of all people had a second body will forever be a mystery to him, but he’s learned to accept that as well (even if he still seeks answers from Kang Dagyeom every time they cross paths). 

What he doesn’t understand — and fears he may never get the answer to — is why Choi Dongsoo, the CEO of HNH Group and leader of all four major crews with major influence all across Korea, decided to end his life the way he did.

Does he have a second body, too? Is that why he so carelessly jumped off that building? Millions of explanations rolled around Hyungseok’s mind, but none of them made sense. 

If he were so influential, he could’ve convinced everyone that everything was, as he said, ‘ridiculous, false allegations.’ With Park Jong-gun covering for him and claiming that he was the one responsible for the four major crews, Choi Dongsoo would’ve been in the clear. Even with the evidence against him, even with the red paper being brought into the conversation, there were still millions of ways he could’ve gotten himself out of this mess. 

So why didn’t he? Why did he decide to jump off that building instead of clearing his name? It didn’t even sound real. Choi Dongsoo. Dead. From jumping off a building after being confronted by a bunch of high schoolers. 

Choi Dongsoo, whom Hyungseok thought would torment him forever. The man whom Hyungseok swore he’d put away himself, the evil man whom he wanted to face justice. The man from whom Hyungseok still wanted answers, answers about his second body, about his dad, about why his mother warned Hyungseok about him and told him to stay away from him. Dead. Just like that. After years of building up his fame and trust, his company, and molding the four major crews into how he wanted them to be. All of that hard work, gone. Because he decided to end his own life.

I didn’t want things to end this way, Hyungseok thought while standing with a flower in hand in front of Choi Dongsoo’s coffin. I never wanted to see him dead.

“You’re not responsible for what he did,” was what Choi Soojung told Hyungseok on the day of her father’s funeral. “It’s neither your nor Daniel’s fault. Dad did this to himself. Don’t blame yourself.”

Hyungseok tried to, he did! But… He couldn’t get his mind off it. Everyone else was just as confused as he was, no one had answers to why Choi Dongsoo did what he did. To Hyungseok, it almost felt like no one cared as much as he did. Maybe because he’s the only one, besides Dagyeom, that felt like something was left unfinished; towers of questions left unanswered.

Maybe it was because it reminded Hyungseok of something. 

Of someone .

 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

 

Hyungseok was surprised to see how quickly his body had recovered from the fight with Jong-gun. He swore he had taken a few nasty hits from him but the following day he found his body clean from all bruises and marks left behind from the fight. His second body will never fail to amaze him even if it has been almost a year since he woke up one night in that body. 

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t obsessively watching his second body the night before. He somehow felt like it would suddenly wake up and kill him so only he would exist. The one time he tried falling asleep, instead of waking up in the other body, he had a nightmare but couldn’t remember what it was about.

Park Jiho. Choi Dongsoo. It’s your fault. It’s all your fault.

…He’d rather not think about it now. He had other things to worry about, like the trip to Busan to take down the four major crews of the area. He’d gathered Allied together and had a plan already set out. He didn’t have any time for distractions or even thinking about one little nightmare he had. He’s had nightmares way worse in the past! 

His plan was simple; gather each head of the crew’s attention and fight them. He had already planned out who would do what and how they could win. Though he hadn’t really planned on using much of Jaeyeol’s money, the blond man insisted he could. He even booked them a place to stay! 

“Well! Fuck! Me!” Jinsung, Vasco, and Hobin yelled in unison once they made it to the hotel and got a good look at the room they’re staying in. Hyungseok and Hyunseong were also amazed but not really to the point that the other three were. They all explored the room, and everything amazed them more and more as they discovered new things in the room. 

From the couch that Hyungseok was lying on, he noticed Jaeyeol leaving the room. Everyone else seemed too amazed by the room to notice the man leaving. Hyungseok got up and walked towards him.

“Jaeyeolie, where are you going?” Hyungseok asked right before Jaeyeol walked out the door.

“...”

“...Hm? You’re going to sleep next door since there’s no space?” Hyungseok repeated, confusion in his tone. “What are you saying?” The boy grabbed Jaeyeol’s wrist, stopping him from leaving the room. “Why would you sleep alone?” Hyungseok pulled Jaeyeol back inside. “We’re all on a trip so we should stay together.”

Jaeyeol stared at Hyungseok for a moment, his face flushing a soft pink at the closeness of their faces and at the boy’s words. Hobin made some dumb remark that Hyungseok responded to, and Jaeyeol began flapping his arms in victory.

 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

 

Once nightfall came and they all established who was sleeping with whom (Hobin and Jinsung both claimed they needed a bed of their own only to end up having to share one), they all headed to their respective beds. Hyungseok stayed behind on the couch, staring up at the ceiling and trying to count how many squares there were.

It wasn’t like he was scared to sleep! He just had a lot of thinking to do, about the plan, about what roles he would give everyone, about how they would defeat Busan’s four major crews.

About Choi Dongsoo.

…About Park Jiho. 

Hyungseok pushed that thought away. Jiho was responsible for his own actions. He decided to end his life the way he did, same for Choi Dongsoo.

But… could the outcome have been different?

If he had been a better friend to Jiho…

Hyungseok blinked. Now was not the time to think about this. He had bigger fish to fry, like coming up with backup plans in case their current one failed. 

It’s your fault, a little voice in the back of Hyungseok’s mind whispered to him. Both of them, it’s your fault. You could have avoided it. If you hadn’t ignored Jiho, if you hadn’t followed Yoojin’s plan. Neither of them would’ve died. You could’ve still had a friendship with the first person who you felt like understood you — understood Daniel — and you could’ve gotten the answers to all your questions.

No. It wasn’t his fault. It was their choices and decisions that led them to where they are now.

Do you really believe that?

Hyungseok huffed and turned around abruptly. He picked up his phone from the nearby table and began scrolling through it. Maybe a distraction could help him fall asleep more easily, Hyungseok reasoned. If he wasn’t thinking about Jiho and Choi Dongsoo, he could sleep. He’d give this body the rest it deserves before the big day tomorrow. It would all be fine.

After some scrolling, Hyungseok’s plan worked. His eyes began feeling heavy and he immediately took advantage of it, shutting them and drifting off to sleep.

 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

 

It was dark when he opened his eyes again. He looked down and couldn’t tell what body he was in. Hyungseok’s? Daniel’s? He had trouble telling them apart recently, especially after Daniel’s weight loss. Maybe he should dye Hyungseok’s hair, he could ask Hyun to lend him a hand with that.

Hyungseok (or Daniel?) stood up from the place where he was lying. He looked around, and everything was dark. Logically, he should be in the body that was left behind in Seoul. But lately, he’s been having trouble waking up in the other body. It takes him about 3 tries for him to actually wake up in the other body.

Hyungseok guessed he wasn’t in his other body as all there was in the place he woke up in was darkness. He was sure his home wasn’t this dark, especially since he had windows and all. He grumbled a little. He didn’t feel like waking up again, it was already enough of a hassle to get himself to actually fall asleep.

He began exploring the darkness, walking around and trying to find anything or even anyone. He felt like he was walking for hours when he finally noticed a figure in the distance. He slowly walked up to it, the figure becoming clearer the closer he got. It was his second body. He looked down at himself and noticed that his clothing was the same as his first body had. He glanced back up at his second body, noticing the stiffness in his shoulders. 

His second body turned around and Daniel held back a gasp. His eyes were fully black, indicating that this body was in Ultra-Instinct mode. Daniel really didn’t feel like fighting right now, not even in his dreams. He got his stance ready and closed his eyes. Seconds go by, maybe a few minutes, and nothing happens. Daniel opens his eyes confused and then his second body immediately launches at him.

Before he could get hit, the scenery changed. He was on the rooftop of a blue building. An extremely familiar blue building. He snapped his head back and froze once he saw the person behind him. 

“Jiho…” Daniel called out to the boy sitting on the edge of the building. He knew this was a dream. He knew Park Jiho was already dead. He knew this, yet he couldn’t help but reach out to him. “Get down from there, please…”

“And what? Go back to the life I used to have with my so-called friends?” The boy barked out, leaning back dangerously. “You know. I did everything just so I could fit in. I wanted to be like you, Daniel Park. You have two bodies, you have double chances for everything. Me? I only have one chance at anything. I’ve already fucked up greatly,” He pushes two fingers against his head. “Because of you.”

“Jiho… Jiho, we can work this out. I’ll include you more, I’ll help you with anything you need–”

“It’s too late,” Jiho interrupted him. “You know that, don’t you? You’re too late.”

And then he jumped.

Daniel ran towards him to catch him but it was too late, the boy was already falling. Daniel watched as he hit the ground. Daniel saw his other body stare back at him with those same dark eyes he saw earlier. He turned around to run but was met by Choi Dongsoo. Daniel froze again, his breath coming out in quick pants. 

“You couldn’t save that boy,” Choi Dongsoo said. “You can’t save anyone. You can’t even save yourself.”

Hyungseok appeared from behind Choi Dongsoo, slowly walking towards Daniel. He tried to back away but bumped into Jong-gun who held him in place. 

“You’ll never know the secret of your second body now,” Choi Dongsoo smiled. “I’m dead. Because of you. It’s all because of you. You’re weak, there’s absolutely nothing you can do for anyone.”

Daniel struggled against Jong-gun’s hold, staring into Hyungseok’s eyes. He felt a heavy weight on his shoulders, and then his entire body was shaken. Hyungseok pulled his fist back and then let it swing forward. 

 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

 

Hyungseok woke up with a gasp and almost punched the person in front of him before he registered that it was just Jaeyeol. He put his fist down and tried catching his breath. Jaeyeol asked him something but it didn’t quite register in his mind yet.

“I’m fine, Jaeyeol. It was just a nightmare, thank you for waking me up,” Hyungseok gave the man a strained smile. Jaeyeol pushed a cup of water into Hyungseok’s hands, the black haired man took it and thanked him. He gulped it down in one go, handing the empty cup back to him. “You should go back to bed. Sorry to wake you.”

“...” 

“You should stay? Ah, I wouldn’t want to bother you. We have a long day tomorrow,” Hyungseok said. It was almost odd how Jaeyeol could immediately get his mind off things, how easily relaxed he could be around the man. It was different from what it was with any of the other guys. It was almost the same feeling he got when he was around Hanuel, although he felt closer to Jaeyeol than to her. 

“...”

“It’s not a bother? Well, if you insist,” Hyungseok made space on the couch and Jaeyeol lay down next to him. If the couch were any smaller, the two men would probably be squished together. Hyungseok lay awkwardly on his side as he looked into Jaeyeol’s eyes (or, more specifically, where he thought his eyes were under his hair). 

“Hey… Thanks again,” Hyungseok whispered. “For booking us this hotel, and for every other thing you’ve done for us. You’re a great help, I don’t know what Allied would do without you.” What I would do without you , Hyungseok didn’t add. 

Jaeyeol nodded, then urged Hyungseok to fall back asleep. The other man laughed before closing his eyes. He felt Jaeyeol shift and then a sudden weight on his hip, but he was already too sleepy to care. 

“...” 

 

⟡ ⟡ ⟡

 

“Dude, look,” Jinsung whispered to Vasco, pointing towards the couch. 

“I do that with Bumjae all the time?” Vasco said, making Hobin burst out cackling. 

“Of course you do. Jinsung, wake them up. We gotta head out,” Hobin said, smacking Jinsung’s back. Jinsung was about to argue with Hobin when Jaeyeol shifted. The blond put a finger to his lips before he wrapped his arms around Hyungseok again.

The three other men looked at each other before turning back to their respective rooms. They all could rest a little longer. After all, they had a big day coming. 

Notes:

first fic posted !!! i feel the need to overexplain myself here but i will refrain from doing so GULP

heres my strawpage,, you can add me on twt or tumblr, i dont rlly post on either often but i do check my notifications TOO often (<- chronically online)

please lmk if i tagged anything wrong or if i need to add tags,,, i dunno if i missed anything

title is from locked in by whatsaheart! i love him pls give his songs a listen

please send requests if you have any,, ill do my best to bring it to life ! i do also accept feedback (including spelling + grammar mistakes, english isnt my first language disculpa) but PLEASE do so by either shooting me a message or an ask on tumblr or on my strawpage

hope this was enjoyable n readable,,