Chapter 1: Musings....
Summary:
Inside V's head: Disjointed, fragmentary, stream of consciousness thoughts coalesce to form a picture of her undying love for a certain techie. In the midst of her musings on life, she receives an email inviting her back to.... Night City? Lizzie's Bar is closing its doors for good. They're having one, final party to commemorate the club's existence. V's torn between whether to go or ignore the invite. In the end, she decides to go. It might be one of the last opportunities she has to see Judy Alvarez....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(V…. Recollections)
(Somewhere In Night City. You & I. The Best Days, Before The Fall)
“Ugh! Fuck, I’m so tired! Uhhh, c’mere you.”
“Mmmm, yeah, you’re so warm. It’s like your skin’s on fire. You sure you have to leave?”
“Fuck, I don’t want to. It’s just, I got such a busy day today. I gotta finish all these little jobs I promised people. Fixers like to call 'em, 'gigs.' I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, Judy Alvarez….”
“Mmph, c’mon then. I’ll make it worth your while, hehe. Open up those long, smooth athletic legs of yours. Lemme have some more of that preem NC pussy."
“Ohhh, shit. I’m so ready. Feels so good. I’m so wet. Sorry if I got some on your sheets. Oops. Go ahead. Dive in. Make me come….”
“What about your busy day? Mhmm? By the way, you smell so fuckin’ good. You know that, calabacita?"
(….Did I really leave that day?)
I don’t remember but somehow I think the answer’s no. Back then it would’ve hurt too much to be apart from you, especially at the beginning….
Before we fell. God, Jude. We fell so far. Still can't believe we said goodbye forever....
(Summer, 2077)
I can still smell the cheap spray on suntan lotion we bought at the 25/7. What was it? Oh yeah, spf 50?! What the fuck were we thinking?
We might as well smear cooking oil all over ourselves for all the protection that’s gonna give us!
Hehe, hehe….
(First Time We Said Those Three Words)
“V?”
“Mmmm?”
"I-I love you...."
"Jude? What did you just-? Say it again. One more time.
“I love you, calabacita."
“Oh my god. Judy. Baby. I love you. Fuck, I love you...."
….We held each other in bed. Another overcast, gloomy Sunday morning. I looked into your eyes and couldn't believe how happy I was.
It's so powerful. These feelings. So true in their simplicity, their strength.
Yet, how would I know?
I’d never felt that way before.
Our bodies were two fuses. Entwined.
And when we kissed, we were alight.
You and me, leelou bean. Exploding in the summer sky.
Looking in your eyes, just before we fall back to sleep.
The taste of you, still on my lips.
Judy?
Don’t ever let us forget these moments.
Please….
The singularity of something so quiet, yet so loud.
Did we really discover true love?
So then, it does exist?
We declare our feelings and things keep getting better and better.
We’ve acknowledged that we’re taking that leap, jumping off the cliff.
Even though it’s only been a few weeks, it feels like the right thing to do….
We think we’re different from everyone else (and in a sense, we are).
We trick ourselves into thinking we have the upper hand when it comes to love.
We can control it. It’s not gonna beat us.
But….
We were bigger fools than we could've ever imagined, weren’t we? And the nightmare was just beginning....
(Darkness....)
“....How much longer?”
“Jude, I do—”
“HOW LONG!”
“A few months…. Six?”
….You scream, and I’ve never heard a scarier sound. Clumsily, you gather up your things. Van keys, cigarettes, lighter, and start running around the apartment. I'm crying so hard, chasing after you blindly, begging you not to leave.
I grab hold of your arm.
Already, you’ve got one foot out the door….
“NO! NO! I can’t handle this! NO!!!! A-And after Evelyn? No V! I gotta go!! LET ME GO!”
I’m freaking out, in a full-blown panic. “Please don’t leave, leelou bean. Please. I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown. I-I took the shard from Jackie. He was dying. W-What was I supposed to do? Huh? Tell me! What could I have done differently! Don’t leave me. Please don’t go….”
“I can’t stay here. I’ll ping you.”
I walk over to the window. It’s raining. The city’s blurry. Everything's blurry. I’m crying so hard, I can’t catch my breath….
“Tell me you love me,” I plead, going to you. Holding you, and there’s no resistance. You don’t put up a fight. In fact, you hold me tighter….
I can tell you don’t really wanna leave.
Your makeup….
It’s running down the front of your face, mixing with the salt of your tears.
“I love you, calabacita. That’s never ever going to change. But I just can’t deal with this right now. I can’t lose you. I feel sick to my stomach. I think I’m gonna throw up. I gotta go. I GOTTA GO, V!”
“Why are you leaving me when I need you the most?” I whisper, broken. “Don’t you understand? You’re like oxygen to me. I need you or else it, it feels like I can’t breathe.”
“I can’t deal with this shit right now! I-I just can’t! I’m sorry. Bye….”
You leave in a rush. And now I’m on the verge of taking off myself.
Fuck it all.
Fuck everything.
I’ll rip this fucking shard outta my head.
SO WHAT?
FUCK IT!
I thought what we had was special, different. We were gonna be the ones that conquered love.
Hmph, what a joke that turned out to be….
(A Holocall & The Death Of Us)
(....What’s her name?)
(Bianca. But looks, character. Nothing like you at all….)
(Gonna miss you….)
(Yeah…. Goodbye V. And, I’m sorry….)
Hanging up and I want to die. I swear to god, I wanna put a gun to my head and pull the fucking trigger, put a bullet in my head….
Two years? I spent two years in a coma for this? For you to tell me you’re married? Is this some kind of sick, fucked up joke?
It takes every ounce of self-control not to ping you again….
I walk around the hospital room in a daze of sadness.
I still love you.
Even more, now that I know I can’t have you.
What am I gonna do with the rest of my life?
Where am I gonna go?
Who’s gonna love me like you?
Who’s ever gonna love me the way you did?
(Picking up the pieces of my shattered heart)
“Reed. I can’t stay here anymore. Can you help me?”
“I told you there’s nothing left for you there. I asked you to come and work for us. What the hell possessed you to go back there?"
“I don't know. I don't know. What do you want me to say? I’m sorry? I fucked up?”
“Let me see what I can do.”
“Reed?”
“Yeah?”
“Anyplace but here. I’ll go anywhere but Night City. I don’t care if it’s on the other side of the earth.”
“It just may end up being that far away.”
“I don’t care. Anywhere but here.”
“Okay, V. Do you need money?”
Sol told me later on. He couldn't believe how bad I looked on the holo. I never told him I'd suffered a breakdown and I'd just been discharged from the hospital.
“Y-Yeah. I’m broke. Can you help? Can the good ‘ol NUS of A help an old, broken down, washed up merc?”
“I’m wiring you some funds. Try and relax. This might take a few days. I’ve got some pull, but not a lot.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, V.”
“Reed?”
“What?”
“Thanks.”
"Don't thank me yet. Wait until I actually do something.”
(Finally, a glimmer of hope. A tiny light goes on)
“Hey, Reed.”
“V. I got good news and I got bad news. What do you wanna hear first?”
“Both.”
“The good news is there’s a position opening up with our Counter-Intel Division. Keeping tabs on suspected spies. Monitoring suspicious AI activity. Stuff like that.”
“Okay? And the bad?”
“It’s about 6,000 miles away."
“PERFECT!”
….You roll your eyes.
“I can’t figure you out, V.”
“I can’t figure myself out, Reed. Join the club. So when do I find out if I get the job?”
“You already got the job.” I jump up and down in the tiny motel room. Maybe this is the start of something new, something better. “Wiring you a one-way ticket to Virginia. A week’s worth of training, vetting. From there, you’ll be flown to the location. We’ve already set you up with a studio apartment, a little money, car, other necessities. Nothing too extravagant, so don’t get your hopes up.”
“Don’t worry. My hopes haven’t been up in years. And Reed? I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”
“V, it’s gonna be a huge shock to your system. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“100%. There’s nothing left for me here….” I turn away, thinking of Judy’s smile. The way she used to look up at me from the couch. Japantown. I shake it off. It’s still too fresh, like a raw wound that just won’t heal. “Let’s do it. I need a new start.”
“Okay. See you in a few days.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
(New Beginnings)
….I’m getting used to my new digs, getting used to a lot of things. I feel okay. Reed was right. It is a bit of a culture shock, being so far away from NC but I’m learning the ropes, learning which areas of the city are nice, and which areas to avoid. It’s like riding a bike. It’s all slowly coming back to me.
Work’s okay. Kinda boring, but whatever. I don’t really do much anyway. I read a lot. Journal some. All in all, it’s a pretty boring life for someone who’s not that old but hey, things could be so much worse. Reed really came through big time. He didn’t have to help me. Could’ve told me to go to hell. Could’ve given me the cold shoulder.
And dating?
Nah. Fuck that. I don’t even think about it. A few times I noticed a couple of stares from my new colleagues. Guys and girls. That’s good! Nothing wrong with looking. I’ve even caught myself staring at a few rear ends!
I work with some really attractive older women. At least I think they’re older. It’s not like I went up to them and asked!
I think I’m gonna like it here. I really do. I’m so far away from the NUS, I can almost forget Judy….
Almost….
(Being asked out for the first time since I moved here!)
….Hahaha! It happened! I’m flattered. I was at my desk, just fucking off. Bored, staring at the clock. One of the younger secretaries came over. I’d gotten to know her a little over the past few weeks. Her name’s Sarah. (Really, really cute actually). Anyway, she starts talking to me about this show she’s been wanting to see finally coming to one of the theatres here in town.
I was like, “Oh nice! That’ll be preem!”
Then I noticed she got a little red in the face. She stuttered and asked me if I’d like to go with her sometime.
I was gonna say no, but then I thought, “Why? Why should I keep hiding under a rock, never wanting to come out of my shell?
Plus, what’s wrong with going to see a play with someone. It doesn’t have to mean we’re in a committed relationship, so I said, “Sure, Sarah. I’d love to go with you.” She had a huge smile on her face and we both laughed. It actually felt really good!
But see, here’s the thing. My mind won’t ever let me forget Jude. Every time I start, I have a dream or I’ll see something that reminds me of her. Then everything I’ve worked so hard for seems to all come tumbling down. All the progress I’ve made in terms of trying to move on with my life, move on from her just gets erased. Ahhh, what am I going to do? Maybe I’m just destined to remember Judy Alvarez for the rest of my natural born life.
But back to Sarah. She’s so cute! Short, curly brown hair, on the taller side, probably around 5’7”. And she’s got a really, really nova body.
But we’re going as friends. I’m not ready for romance yet. No fucking way. Judy did a number on me when she told me she’d moved on. It’s like a gaping hole in my heart that never seems to wanna get smaller.
(Thinking….)
I wish I would’ve gotten that chance to experience more of the dating scene, ya know? When I was a merc, it was so different. I could basically have whoever I wanted. We were sorta like considered celebrities back in the day, back in Night City….
If I wanted to go out with someone (even if it was just to have a one night stand, all I did was ask and nine times out of ten, they immediately said yes!).
I didn’t sleep around. A few times, when I was really attracted to someone, I’d have a fling with them, but those encounters were so few and far between.
Considering the amount of times I could’ve had sex, I actually think I was a bit of a prude….
(Sarah….)
We had a really nice time together. It was a good show. I enjoyed it.
Afterwards, it got a little weird. She asked me if I wanted to go back to her place.
I said, no, but thanks for the offer. Think I’m just gonna head home.
I could tell she was bummed. I mean, so was I but no, I’m not ready for that. I know it’s been a long time since Jude, but it’s still not long enough.
I’m just not there yet.
Listen Sarah, I said. I think you’re really cool. I wanna be friends but that’s all I can offer you at this point. I’m not ready for intimacy. I’m sorry. I hope you can understand.
She was forward, assertive. Asked if it was because I wasn’t attracted to her.
No! No, not at all. Actually, my last relationship ended really, really badly and I’m still hurting.
She seemed to calm down a little and we promised to be friends.
It ended up working out just fine….
For some reason (hmmm, wonder why), when I got home that night, I was really, really sad. Such a long time since I’d been intimate with anyone.
I thought about masturbating, but I didn’t want to lie down so I just went on my computer to pass the time. I checked my email and couldn’t believe what was sitting in my inbox….
(An invitation)
This was the gist of the message….
Hello, V!
Hey! It’s Rita Wheeler from Lizzie’s! Hope this email finds you well! Actually, I hope this is still your email address! I know it’s been ages since we’ve talked!
Anyway. I’ve got some news. Lizzie’s is closing! Susie Q decided to sell the place! Me and some of the girls are looking to settle in a new space, closer to Downtown. Kabuki’s gotten so much worse in the last few years. Violence, drugs, murders. Yeah, ya know. All that fun stuff. Anyway, we’re throwing one final bash, sorta like a fundraiser and we’re inviting some of our most loyal customers, patrons, friends, even former Mox.
(Former Mox…. Like Judy?)
We’d love it if you could stop by! Maybe have a drink or two…. Or ten! I’m not even sure if you still live in NC but wherever you are, we hope to see you there!
See the attached flyer for all the detes!
Bye V!
….Shit.
Just…. Shit.
Should I go? I wonder if Judy’s gonna be there….
Probably go with her wife. Part of me wants to go. Like, really really wants to go.
But what if we run into each other? What would I say?
That I still miss her so much and think about her at least once every day?
God, I sound so fucking pathetic, don’t I?
Why is it so easy for some people to move on with their lives?
Me? I can’t even get out of my own way.
Maybe I should email Rita and tell her I live too far away. Why cling to old memories?
Judy’s moved on. She’s happy.
Maybe it’s time for me to move on too….
Judy, Pittsburgh (Am I still in the Mox?)
….God, I can’t believe Lizzie’s is closing! Susie’s finally getting rid of the place?
Holy shit….
I mean I have to go, right? Technically, I’m still a Mox girl. If I didn’t show up, what would that say about me?
Should I tell Bianca?
I mean, I kinda wanna go by myself.
Wait….
I just thought of something.
I wonder if…. Nah.
She’s probably not even invited.
But what if she is?
What if this is my last chance to see her?
I almost have to go.
Damn, it makes me think of her.
The basement.
Night City.
Summer, 2077.
Even now, I think about her more than I’d ever care to admit.
At least once a day, more….
I wonder if she’s happy. Married. Kids?
No, no way. Not V.
Mi calabacita....
Damn, just saying her name to myself and I get goosebumps all over my arms and legs….
I never had a lover like her.
She was the best.
Pure and simple….
Making love to her was like being in some kind of a fantasy.
She was always so good at mixing things up.
Soft, firm. Gentle, harsh….
I’m gonna RSVP yes. I’m gonna go.
As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t miss it for the world….
(Like being bitten on the neck! I'm so excited! Hahaha!)
….I got my tickets!
My boss was being a fuckin’ gonk about giving me the time off. Told him I’d come in on the weekends to make for the time.
I took ten days off. I had the time, so I don’t understand what the big fuckin’ deal was. He said I didn’t give him enough of a notice.
Oh, fuck off.
I’d forgotten what it was like working under someone. Reminded me of when I was at Arasaka.
Arthur Jenkins, Susan Abernathy. Now there was a match made in heaven.
Anyhoo, so I’m all set! The party’s in two weeks. And of course, I’m already freaking out!
I knew this was gonna happen.
I just hope I don’t have my period when I’m back in Night City. Ugh! That would suck! I don’t think it’s gonna be a problem. I should be good.
It’s not like I plan on sleeping with anyone while I’m there….
But still,
You never know….
Sarah’s really been pursuing me. Like heavy. I don’t mind. I actually kind of like it. Turns out I’m a lot older than her. Over ten years. It’s kind of a turn on, if I’m being completely honest.
Every day, she’s been asking me to do something.
Let’s grab a bite to eat after work, catch a movie. Do some shopping. Go to the beach (A two-hour drive!) Take a ride to the coast.
And everytime, I say nah, I’m tired, Sarah. I’m sorry. I think she’s really into me. My desk isn’t too far away from hers and sometimes I catch her checking me out.
The other day, she actually licked her lips, looking at me. I know she probably did it subconsciously, but still it fuckin’ turned me on. That was the first time I really thought about what it would be like to have sex with her.
I think she caught that vibe because she came over and asked if I wanted to go with her to get coffee.
This time I said, yes….
The cafe’s across the street from our offices. Nice, quaint, quiet little place. We sat outside. One of those little tables near the street. It’s not busy, especially during the day….
“V, why do you keep turning me down? Every time I ask you out, you say you’re tired.”
(Uh-oh, how do I explain my way out of this one?)
“Ummm, Sar. Listen, I know I mentioned it before. B-But my last relationship. It ended really, really badly. And I just don’t wanna get hurt. I like you. I do. But I’m not ready to commit. I’m sorry.”
And then you did the sweetest thing. You reached over and held my hand. Didn’t say anything, just started rubbing my fingers….
“I wish you would open yourself up again, V. You’re so attractive. I love your sense of style. The way you wear your hair. Your outfits. I’m gonna keep trying. One day I’m gonna get you to say yes.”
Your gesture affected me. I could feel myself softening. I’m staring at you, feeling your fingers kneading my joints. We’re both sitting down. It’s a beautiful day. Warm. A slight breeze. It smells clean, airy. No smog or pollution.
“But I did say yes. Just now. When you asked me if I wanted to get a coffee.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
(Oh shit. Are you? Is this? Why is my heart beating so fast? Uh-oh. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?)
“I-It’s not?”
You smile. Damn, you are really good-looking. You take your hand and move it once through my hair.
“No, V. I think you know what I mean. Somehow, I get the feeling you’re amazing in bed.”
(Fuck. Fuck. Now I know I’m blushing. I can feel my face heating up. I’m looking at your chest. I can’t help it. I do want you. I do wanna make love to you. Yes! YES! Finally! After so long I can finally say goodbye to Judy Alvarez! I can finally move on with-with….Nope. Uh-uh. Damn. I can’t. I’m still too frightened. Still too scared. I can’t Sarah. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…. I turn away, ashamed by my lack of self-confidence, my fears. Judy’s still got a hold of my heart, and I can’t let her go.)
“I’m sorry. We should go back. Our lunch is almost over. Sarah, I’m sorry. I’m just not there yet. I can’t help it.”
“It’s okay, V. I understand.”
You gently pull your hand away and the moment passes. It’s gone. I try to smile, but it’s awkward. I’ve ruined this moment. I know that. I just can’t Jude go….
We walk back to the office in silence. I feel so bad inside. I’m embarrassed by my lack of confidence.
As I turn to go back to my desk. You touch my shoulder and say,
“V. Sometimes you just have to let go of the past. It’s the only way to move forward.”
Awkwardly, I nod. But then I realize you’re exactly right. Why am I still holding onto Judy? She doesn’t love me anymore. Why can’t I accept that? Why do I continue to think we’re different?
Maybe I wanna believe in fairy-tale endings. Maybe I just want to feel Jude in my arms….
Is that wrong? Is it naive of me to think she might still love me?
I’m sitting at my desk as a wave of sadness washes over me. I get up from my chair, too fast, and a few heads turn. I practically jog to the bathroom and find an empty stall.
Put the lid down on the toilet seat, sit and I just start crying. I grab a bunch of toilet paper and ball it up. I push it in my face in case someone walks in….
Shit. I can’t stop crying.
I miss you, leelou bean. I wish you would hold me. I wanna feel your breath on the back of my neck. I wanna feel your warmth as we hide underneath the covers all morning. I wanna feel your lips on mine, your hand running through my hair, kissing me on the mouth.
I love you, Judy. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to us.
We were different. I know it. I felt it....
I can’t leave the stall. I know I’m a mess. I’m praying no one comes in. I’m blowing my nose, thinking of the basement at Lizzie’s.
....Where I first laid eyes on you.
I hope you’re at the party, Jude. I miss you. I wanna see you again. Face to face. I try to count off the number of years since you held me in your arms.
One finger, one thumb for every 365 days....
Fuck. I knew it....
I've used all ten of them up.
Notes:
Next: V, flying back to Night City from halfway across the world. She can't sit still. She's a bundle of nerves; thinking of Judy and wondering if she'll be there. Meanwhile, Judy is flying back to NC from Pittsburgh. She's on her way to Lizzie's, alone. Bianca's back home. They've been married for so long, trust isn't an issue. There's nothing to worry about....
Right?
Chapter 2: You Make Me High
Summary:
V, flying back to Night City from the other side of the world, remembering the good and bad of those beautiful six months back in the summer of 2077. Judy, flying in from Pittsburgh, married. She's given her love, her life to someone else. But inside, she never forgot her calabacita. Neither of them actually know if they're going to see each other, but they can feel it in their hearts.
Something's happening....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Valerie (I’m in the air. Flying over the Pacific Ocean….)
….Wow. I-I haven’t been this excited in years! I can’t sit still. It’s a 15 hour flight, so I guess I better try and make myself comfortable!
I’m so confused, but in a good way!
One minute, it's like I can’t wait to set my feet back down on the sidewalks of Night City and the next, I’m wondering if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life.
I can’t stop tapping my leg. I think the man next to me is getting pissed off! Ah, so what. I deserve to be a little nervous, don't I?
(Saying goodbye to Sarah....)
I was like, pleasantly surprised. Saying goodbye turned out to be harder than I thought. Sarah was like one of those cute little, sad-eyed puppy dogs when I told her I was leaving. It actually made me miss her more. She's become such a good friend.
We’ve gotten closer ever since I confided in her about me and Jude’s history. When I told her how long I’d been single for, her jaw almost hit the floor.
“V! You can’t wait that long to start dating again! Shit, I thought you were gonna say a year! Two at the most, but that long? You’re letting the prime of your life pass you by! Awww! That makes me so sad, that you can’t see all you have to offer as a partner! What a beautiful, smart, sensitive, caring person you are! V, that’s way too long to be sitting on the sidelines!”
Her kind words made me feel good. Her positivity was infectious. I pulled her close and gave her the biggest hug. And I gotta say.... It felt really good. Especially right before I was getting ready to delta halfway around the world.
“Thanks, Sar. See you soon.”
“Bye, V. Be careful. Miss you already.”
“Mmmm, you too….”
(Anxious doesn’t even begin to explain the way I feel….)
….Every few minutes I’m checking my phone. Checking the time. How long we’ve been in the air. How much longer 'till we land.
And of course, my thoughts are stuck on my leelou bean.
Heh, it’s funny, I’m still calling her that. Actually, it’s not funny at all. I get pissed at myself for using her pet name….
My memory sharpens, senses come into focus. I can still see her purply-green hair. She was so fucking sexy. Smell her skin after she’d get home from working in that humid basement at Lizzie’s all night. Tuning those smut BD’s. I knew she was so amp’d up. God, we were so crazy with lust back then!
The things we did! Even now, it makes me blush when I think about it!
I just hope she comes to the party.
I-I….
Oh fuck. Fuck, what if she comes to the party? What do I say to her? It’s been so long. She’s married, but-but maybe she’s not married. How nova would that be? Oh, what am I talking about? Of course she’s married. What is wrong with me?
I have to get up. I need to walk around. Figures I have a window seat. Shit….
“Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me, Sorry. J-Just need to use the restroom. Excuse me. Thanks.”
I make my way down the center aisle. I have to splash some water on my face. I need to stand up and move around.
I go into the tiny bathroom and quickly close the door….
The light flicks on. I stare at myself in the mirror and tug at the skin under my eyes.
“Calm down,” I whisper to myself. “Come on, Valerie. Relax, girl.” I’m thinking of all the times in my life where I’ve stood in front of a mirror and talked myself back from the ledge.
Meetings with high-end clients, ripperdocs, FIA, SoMi, Alex. Remember Kurt Hansen? Fucking gonk. Thought he was so tough, fuckin’ punk, hehe….
Right before Dex put a bullet in my head, I put my fist through the dingy mirror in that shitty motel room. God, sometimes it feels like I’ve lived a hundred different lives and I’m not even forty years old yet….
“Jude?” I’m still staring at my reflection. “Can you hear me, baby? I still love you. Even after all these years. It never goes away. Can you hear me, leelou bean?”
(Judy. Somewhere over the continental NUSA)
….Suddenly, my eyes open.
V? Baby? Is that you?
Holy shit. No way! that was so weird! Like a jolt or a shock. So crazy!
I have to stand up. I need to walk around, splash some water on my face. Figures, I have a window seat.
“Excuse me. Excuse me, thanks. I just have to use the bathroom. ‘Scuse me, thanks.”
I make my way down the center aisle and find the teeny, tiny bathroom at the back of the plane. Thank god it’s empty. I go in, close the door behind me and the overhead light clicks on….
I stand there, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
“Calm down,” I say out loud. “C’mon, Jude. Relax, girl.” I’m thinking about all the times in my life I stood in front of a mirror and brought myself back from the edge….
But one time sticks out over the rest….
It was the first time I told V I loved her.
I was so nervous.
I’d never done that before.
Not even with Evelyn.
I’m not the kind of person who’s all lover-dovey.
It’s always been very difficult for me to articulate my feelings.
I was always more comfortable being around tech, computers, than I was other people.
We were at her apartment, lying down on the couch, watching TV. At that moment, I’d never felt as close to anyone else as I did her.
I excused myself, went to freshen up and I remember, like it was yesterday, studying my reflection.
Thinking….
(Is this what love feels like? It is, isn't it! I never want to be away from her. I never want to say goodbye. I wanna hold her and never let go. Should I tell her how I feel? Does she feel it too?)
I walked back to the couch and I must’ve had a weird look on my face because V asked what was wrong.
I didn’t answer.
I just said, “Is it too early for us to say, I love you?”
You jumped up and burst into tears.
“What? What did you just say? Say it again.”
Looking back, I think that was one of the happiest moments of my life….
And even though I’ve been married for so many years, I never stopped loving you. I still think about what it would be like to hold you, one more time. We never had the chance to say goodbye.
I guess I just learned to kill so much of the pain.
II.
V. In the beginning, right after you called, I was in shock. Bianca helped. She did. And I do love her for that….
She’s stuck by me through the worst of times. All the nights I cried myself to sleep, thinking about you, worried sick, filled with regret over how I was on the holo that day.
Thinking about that last call, wishing we could go back. I know, baby. I know I acted cold, callous.
Unloving….
I was so pissed off at you, V. But it was more than that. You took two years away from me. It was selfish! I was heartbroken by how you left me in the dark for so long.
Do you know what two years feels like to someone who’s in a perpetual state of panic?
For me, it was a nightmare I could never wake up from, no matter how hard I tried.
(....Remembering how bad things actually got)
….There’s this brief, brief grace period when you first open your eyes after being asleep. A 3-5 second buffer when you forget how horrible your life really is? It’s one of the body’s defense mechanisms; easing you back into reality, instead of simply plunging you back into the icy cold, frigid waters of your anxiety.
Well, calabacita?
Those precious few seconds of ignorant bliss were all I had to look forward to.
The only time I truly had peace of mind.
Every other waking moment I spent consumed with grief over the way you just disappeared from my life.
How could you do that to someone you love? Huh?
Sleep was the hardest thing in the world. Weeks would go by where I’d be lucky to get more than twenty minutes, an hour of rest a day….
Fuck, the plane’s all bumpy now. The pilot comes over the intercom. Turbulence, he says, matter of factly. Shit. It’s really choppy. It almost lifts me out of my seat.
But then it settles and I’m left thinking of all the promises we made to each other. Promises we never kept.
It’s weird. I’ve been married for a long time but as soon as I start thinking of you, it’s like I’m that scared little girl of 23 again. It’s overwhelming.
I look out the window and all these unrealistic, goofy, wild fantasies pop into my head.
Seeing you at Lizzie’s.
Can we run away together?
Just you and me?
Run and run, never look back.
Get in a car and drive.
Take route I-9 east.
Don’t look back.
Don’t ever look back.
And suddenly, I’m not married. I never was.
I waited and you came back to me and you were all better.
No more Silverhand, no more shards.
I never met Bianca.
It was you, V.
Only you.
Stopping along some abandoned stretch of road, out in the middle of nowhere.
We both get out and look around.
“I never got married, calabacita. I just want you to know that.”
You smile and shake your head….
I’m 35,000 feet in the air.
I’m all fucked up already and I don’t even know if you’re gonna be there….
….Staring out the window.
Everything seems so small, so insignificant….
We never left each other. It’s alright.
It was all just a strange, strange dream….
I wake up, open my eyes.
Feel your arms around me. Feel your heat.
Under the blankets, our nude bodies give off the sweetest scents, like lush lilacs in bloom, mixed with the tang of our salty sweat….
Whisper, I love you, V.
You don’t answer, but you squeeze me even tighter….
And I know. I just know….
We’re happy.
And it’s the halcyon days, again….
III.
Valerie
(I’ve been in the air for 10 hours and still have 5 more to go!)
….I can’t help it. I’m a bundle of nerves.
Did I make the right decision, flying back to NC?
Back and forth, back and forth I go. Up and down.
Shit, it’s bumpy. Turbulence. Uh-oh, the pilot’s telling us it’s no big deal, just a rough patch.
I really, really hope Judy’s there alone. It would suck to fly all the way here and have to see her strutting around with her wife. Ugh! Phew!
I can’t wait to check into my hotel room and take a nice hot bath….
I wonder what NC’s gonna be like. Rita said it’s gotten worse. That’s a sobering thought. Jeez, it was already so bad when I left….
(Soon to be landing.... And they both struggle with their own worries and anxieties as they get closer and closer to NC….)
The flights are both uneventful. But now they can’t stop thinking of one another….
Nerves frayed….
(Can’t we just check into our rooms! Ugh!)
They’re finally back in that crazy place where they’d first fallen in love, so long ago.
Judy’s plane lands first, docking at the Orbital Air Terminal. Relief washes over her. She can’t wait to get out of these clothes and take a nice, hot bath….
Imagining V, lying on top of her, moving up and down, bodies damp with sex, looking in each other’s eyes as the orgasms wait in line….
Her hotel’s near City Center. Shouldn’t be too much longer now. The moment she breathes in the evening air, she knows exactly where she is.
Such an odd, peculiar scent. Pollution, dirty water, industry, disparity, poverty. Yet masked with a cloying, phony sweet smell. It’s like Night City’s embarrassed by itself so it puts on too much cologne or perfume.
The Delamain’s waiting for her out in front of the terminal (She bought the base package. It's a relatively safe trip).
And moments later, she’s off, speeding through the dark, headed towards City Center and the comfort of her room….
….Meanwhile, Valerie gets in a few hours later. She’s beat, tired and exhausted.
She’s so hot and bothered by all these erotic fantasies, that by the time she steps out of the plane, she can barely wait to get to her own hotel, where she can imagine making love to Judy all night long.
(....It's funny. There was a time she didn't have to imagine. Having the best sex with Jude was her reality....)
V smiles to herself and wonders if the techie’s already here. Of course she is. She wouldn’t miss this party for the world. And there’s no way she’d bring her wife.
Because she knows Bianca doesn’t belong here. No…. She's a part of some other life.
V can feel her body generating heat. It’s warm in the city. It always was. Hot, damp, and sticky....
(....Thinking)
It’s been so long, leelou bean.
So many years have passed us by.
I know you’re here baby. Somewhere. It’s a shame I don’t have your number anymore but that’s okay. It’ll make the reunion at Lizzie’s that much sweeter.
When we first set eyes on one another.
Face to face….
You still know how to make me feel so alive!
Oh, Jude….
This time?
Let’s not take anything for granted.
Even if we only have a single day.
I just wanna hold you.
Smell the skin along your neck, run my fingernails up and down your arm….
Fucking breathe you in!!!!
Notes:
Next: Lizzie's Bar. But is it too much, too fast? All these memories come rushing back. Even after all these years, V can't believe this is how things turned out! But in the midst of chaos, something pure and true arises from the wreckage. Just to feel the touch of your hand across my face. Briefly, though it lasts forever....
Chapter 3: (Interlude) A Facet Of Our Love
Summary:
Judy and V both arrive in Night City. Separate planes, separate lives. Still, they each can't stop thinking of the other. V, alone in her Charter Hill hotel room, remembers Judy. The brief, intense intimacy of those surreal six months, back in 2077. It's bittersweet because what is now Valerie's fantasy used to be her reality....
Meanwhile Judy's on the other side of the city, downtown. She took thinks of the way things used to be. She hopes V's here. Somehow, she knows her former lover isn't too far away....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(V’s hotel room. The Wild Rose. Charter Hill.)
….Ahhh, so relaxed. I’m in heaven.
....Wait, do I even believe in heaven? Fuck it, I guess I do now. Hehe.
I draw a hot bath for myself, fill the tub with soap, let the water get all sudsy and now I’m just lying here in the dark. It’s perfect, quiet. I’ve got a cool, wet rag over my eyes, and my head’s resting on one of those plastic pillow thingies.
After being on that fucking plane for almost 16 hours, this really is nova.
Ugh, when I first checked into the room, my clothes were all itchy and damp. They clung to me so tight I had to practically peel my panties off.
But once they were down around my ankles, I felt so free. Felt the cool air from the ac hit my body, mmmm. Preem vibes. Preem vibes….
It’s late, after midnight. I don’t wanna get out of the tub. I’ve waited long enough.
Now I just want to fantasize about Jude….
….I run my fingers through my hair and imagine I’m back in my apartment. Nighttime, the hottest part of summer. All I’m wearing is a high-cut, satin slip. There’s a knock at the door. I saunter over, open it, and it’s Judy, standing there in her black overalls, one strap always hanging off her shoulder. She’s all sweaty.
(She’s looks fuckin’ amazing)
“Hey, calabacita,” she says. “Wanna take a shower? Help me out of these clothes. I was watching smut all night and I need to air out.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Follow me.”
….Five minutes later, we’re standing under the hot water. I’m washing her body, kissing her at the same time, squeezing a soapy sponge and watching the suds run down the crack of her perfect ass.
She’s sucking on my neck. I can feel her hand start to move below my waist, touching me firmly with the palm of her hand, rubbing circles over my thick, dark bush.
She bites me, and I whimper. I feel two fingers push into my pussy and I grab hold of her arm and the sponge falls to the floor.
Steam fills the apartment. I catch a whiff of our lovemaking. It hangs thick in the air. Our pheromones combine to create a sublime scent.
I can’t keep up with her. Judy’s outta my league. She bends down. I close my eyes in pure ecstasy. Her moves are so fluid.
The unique rhythm of her tongue as it tastes me over and over. Licking me in long, measured strokes, while her fingers slide in and out. I can feel her saliva mixing with my come. I grab a handful of her hair, and start riding against her face. I feel so uninhibited, so free….
She’s gripping my ass cheeks, fucking me with her mouth. I start pinching my nipples and I’m moaning softly.
“I’m gonna come, baby. D-Don’t stop. Fuck, don’t ever stop. I’m coming. Oh god, I’m c-coming….”
….Back in the hotel room, my body’s lifting in and out of the tub. Arching, thrusting. Legs opening, closing.
I’m so close. I love these kinds of fantasies.
When I finally orgasm, it’s so powerful. It feels so good. It’s an incredibly beautiful, bittersweet moment because these visions that I cherish were once a part of our daily routine.
Fantasies now. Sex life then.
Judy and me.
We made love every day.
It never got old, never got boring.
Never….
And these brief, ephemeral spots of time are all I have left of her now.
Fuck….
Such a bummer. Has all this time really passed between us?
(Judy. Downtown.)
....After midnight. I just got out of the shower. I’m standing in front of the huge window looking out at Night City. I’m wrapped up in a heavy, plush, hotel robe. I feel so much better. Pinged Bianca to tell her I made it safely. She wanted to talk but I wasn’t really in the mood so I told her I’d call her tomorrow.
I just wanna veg out and not think about anything else.
Except V….
I don’t know what it is, but being back in NC has really frazzled my brain.
I crawl under the covers, bend my knees and open up my legs. I close my eyes and imagine us making love at my old apartment on Charter St.
We’d always start off on the couch, then end up on the floor, back to the couch, and finally the bed. She was such a gentle lover yet her touch effortlessly set me on fire.
The way her lips always stuck to my skin. Like they didn’t wanna let go. The smell of her breath, panting. Lifting her arms and running my nose against all those tiny stubbles of hair….
I move my hands below my belly-button and start nudging my clit back and forth, coaxing it out, thinking of mi calabacita.
“N-Neughhh, V,” I whisper, interrupting the fragile stillness, startling myself. “V, I’m here, baby….”
What an amazing sex life we had. It felt like we always woke up sore the next day. Achy from all that constant friction.
Couple of times we even had to make the super embarrassing trip to the NC Med Center.
What seems to be the problem? Symptoms? The doctor would invariably always ask….
We’d be afraid to look at each other for fear we might burst out laughing.
Ummm, let’s see….
Burning, itchy sensation. Ehmm, down there.
Mmmm…. Small price to pay for such a preem way to burn!
Oh, V. I can still see you so clearly in my mind’s eye. I hope you decided to come back. I just want to see you again….
I wanna take you in my arms and hug you as tight as I can. Feel the swell of your breasts against mine. Remembering all those moments when we let ourselves be vulnerable.
You were my first love and I’ll never forget our six months together. It was just time for me to move on, ya know? I was letting my life pass me by, waiting for you. Never, ever knowing if you were gonna come home.
Two years was long enough….
I met Bianca and made the best decision for myself at the time. I had no idea if you were alive. I hope you don’t hate me, baby. I hope you understand….
Could I have called, texted in the intervening years? I guess so. But then what? It would have only been a matter of time before we both wanted more. Even I know that….
Eventually, I drift off into a bruised, uneasy sleep.
Dreams of NC flirt with me all night. Fragmentary, partial. Running down the side streets and avenues. I think it’s raining, though in dreams, it’s hard to tell….
I wake, toss and turn. Alone in this strange hotel room. I feel like such an outsider. Looking up at the ceiling, alone with my most secret, hidden thoughts….
I’ll always want you, V. I could never tell another living soul how I sometimes wish I could have you back. And if by chance, we happen to see each other at Lizzie’s, I don’t know how I’m gonna act. I’m scared of how strong my feelings for you still are.
I’m so excited. I can’t wait to see you. I know it’s gonna be so weird but-but isn't that normal? Especially for two people like us, with everything we’ve been through?
Goodnight, baby.
Love you….
Notes:
Next: As each of them prepare for the farewell party at Lizzie's Bar, tension and anxiety build. V begins to feel like a fool. Acting as though Judy's single, and they're both 23 again. She's upset with herself for living in a fantasy world. But Judy feels those same pressures too. Even though she's been happily married for years, her mind refuses to let her say goodbye to V. What's going to happen once they finally come face to face? Is it too much, too fast?
Chapter 4: Am I Running From You Or Towards You?
Summary:
As the night of the party draws near, V & Jude do some last minute shopping. They're both trying to find the perfect outfit! Valerie finds herself amidst many of the old haunts. She's filled with nostalgia, remembering the sights and sounds of Night City. As time passes, she feels alienated. After all, this hasn't been her home in a long, long time....
Meanwhile, Judy's downtown and ends up right around the corner from V's old Corpo Plaza apartment. Was it sheer accident that led her here, or something deeper? Some invisible force, leading her to one the places where they first discovered how in love they truly were....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The Next Day
(V. Shopping in Japantown. Trying to find the perfect outfit for the party….)
….If what Rita Wheeler said in her email really is true; that NC’s getting a lot worse, you’d never know it just by walking around Charter Hill.
I can’t believe how rich everyone seems! Growing up here, seeing it everyday, I guess I just got used to being around people with tons of money.
So many corpos….
Men, women, walking up and down the street, wearing super expensive, designer clothes. I could probably pay my rent for a year with the money it costs to buy one of those business suits.
Now that I live on the other side of the world in a modest little studio, I can instantly recognize the disparity between the haves and have nots.
It’s so glaringly obvious!
Because if I walk two blocks north, it’s like a whole other world and I realize Rita’s right in her assessment of how bad NC’s become.
So many homeless people! Dealers, gangers, gonks, addicts, zombie BD casualties….
Shit, it’s so depressing. Makes me glad I got the fuck out while I still could.
(Walking along the avenues of Night City, reminiscing)
I know it’s gonna take me a while, but I decide to walk to Saeko’s in Japantown. I always dug their clothes, plus I wanna see some more of the city. It’s still early in the afternoon, so I’m not too worried about being outside, and anyway, I’ll be back in Charter Hill well before it gets dark…. It's a little bit scarier knowing all my chrome's long gone. Sometimes I feel so naked without it.
What a weird feeling, being back here. The sights, sounds, smells. I forgot how overwhelming it can be when you’re not immersed in it everyday. When you’re detached from the intensity of it all….
Hmmm, checking out the latest trends, wondering what I should wear to the party.
Mini-skirt? Jeans? Tank-top? Sandals? Sneakers? I brought a little of my savings with me so I can afford to splurge.
I spend the next few hours trying on a bunch of outfits and I walk out of there 1,000 euros lighter!
Shit, that hurts. Ah well, who knows when I’m gonna be back here again. It’s only money, right?
As I make my way back to Charter Hill, my stomach grumbles loudly. I haven’t eaten anything all day. I stop and get a couple pieces of pizza and a Nicola Blue at a Buck a Slice.
Smile as I take a bite. I haven’t had this pizza in so long. I know it’s so fucking bad for you. All the processed junk and synthetic fake ingredients….
But damn if it doesn’t taste so preem! All the grease runs from the cheese onto my hands and I’m afraid it’s gonna end up ruining my brand new clothes….
No way I’m walking all the way back to my hotel. It takes me a while but eventually, I hail a cab. What’s another 50 euros anyway?
Twenty minutes later, I’m in my room. I fall backwards onto the bed and stretch, yawn loudly.
Nap time!
I had fun today. It was nice. Shopping, walking around. Seeing some of the sights.
But then I’m hit by the realization that I’m so glad I don’t live here anymore. This place is for young people. People in their twenties. People who want action, danger, to have fun, let loose. Unless you’re rich, NC should be the last place you’d wanna settle down in. I’m too old for this city. It’s just not my thing anymore.
I think of Jude. I wonder if she's in town. The party’s tomorrow night, so she’s probably here. Where would she be staying?
The closer it gets, the more I’m trying to figure out how to keep it together.
I’m really afraid to admit that I’m already slipping.
I'm gonna ping Sarah. I just wanna feel grounded, normal.
Plus, isn’t that what friends are for?
(Judy. Shopping Downtown)
….I have no idea what to wear to this farewell bash.
I’m doing some shopping, although none of this stuff is really my style. I should take a cab over to Watson. That’s more of my speed.
Anyway, I’m walking around Corpo Plaza when it suddenly hits me.
Somehow my steps have led me right around the corner from V’s old apartment.
Compared to her other places, we probably spent the least amount of time here. Neither of us liked it. We thought it was shallow, phony, inauthentic..
The thing I remember most about staying is the nova view. That, and watching old movies on the couch
Spooning. The two of us, on the couch. Falling asleep. V always held me until we knew time was running out. Then it was me on the outside, holding her.
Wondering where our lives might take us. Feeling the weight of V’s condition. Everyday, it seemed to get more and more overwhelming.
By that point, she only had a few more months to live. No one knew how to help her. V tried everything. She got caught up in a bunch of shit with some very important people in the government. President Myers, someone named…. Hmmm, can’t think of it…. Oh yeah, Songbird.
That’s right. Now I remember. She was trapped in Dogtown. Needed V to rescue her, and promised to save her if that happened.
Unfortunately though, a lot of the promises people made to V around that time never came to fruition.
Then, I hear my own voice saying, “You made promises you never kept. You told V to tie up all her loose ends and then the two of you were gonna delta and leave NC for good.
Leave and never look back.
Fuck….
I’m standing in front of the entrance to her building.
There’s a guard pacing back and forth. He gives me a dirty look.
Probably because of how I’m dressed.
I feel dizzy all of a sudden. Hit by such sadness over the way things ended between us.
I nod in the direction of the guard, turn around and leave.
I’m walking away. Then I’m jogging.
It feels like there’s a ghost on my heels, chasing me.
Gaining on me….
Why did I come back here?
Huh?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’m happily married.
I have a good life in Pittsburgh. I love my wife.
I’ve been married for years.
I don’t need this shit.
Stuck inside memories of old loves.
Wrestling with ghosts of long ago….
I haven’t seen V in over ten years!
I don’t care about this shit.
I’m happy.
I’m…. I-I, fuck I have to sit down….
Oh, V.
Baby, what happened to us?
Why did we let it get this far?
I’m all over the place.
Fuck, I wish I had your number.
Need to talk to you….
(There was never any closure. The wound never healed....)
I’ve wandered into a fog.
Everything’s blurry
I need to lie down.
Where’s my hotel?
I gotta get back.
I feel sick….
I knew this was gonna happen. I’m tired. Just wanna lie down, take a nap. So tired….
I’m sorry, V. Sorry for never reaching out after the hospital. God, you looked so thin, frail. You needed me, didn't you baby? And I wasn't there. I turn around, look over my shoulder. In the distance, the guard's still eyeing me suspiciously. I'm nothing but a stranger here. Unwelcome. I don't belong....
Notes:
Next: A farewell party. To celebrate old friends, past loves, good times, and moments that have long since disappeared. One more night, and the doors will be shuttered forever. Another chapter of V & Judy's romance softly fades into oblivion....
Chapter 5: Echo of Touch....
Summary:
It's all been building up to this moment. One, final night of celebration at Lizzie's. V and Judy are both on edge as they make their last-minute preparations for the evening's festivities. It's a warm night. The club is packed. The line stretches around the block. V arrives first, followed by Judy. While she's sitting at the bar, Valerie feels someone touch her shoulder. She turns around slowly, and....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Valerie
(The party’s in 8 hours. I’m trying and failing miserably to take a nap)
I’m questioning everything. How could I get on a plane and fly halfway across the world to go to some party? And why was I so sure Judy would be here?
I wanna ping Sarah.
Am I being co-dependent? So what if I am?
I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life.
Maybe I need someone to lean on once in a while….
“Hey Sarah.”
“V? Hey! You okay?”
“I don’t know. I guess. Just really stressed out. What time is it there?”
"Nine at night. Why, what time is it where you are?”
“Hmmm, noon. The party’s in eight hours.”
“And Judy’s gonna be there, right?”
“Oh, I don’t know. If you asked me yesterday, I would’ve said, 100%. Now though, I’m questioning every single decision I’ve made. Why did I come back? Is she really gonna be here? I’m pathetic, aren’t I? Makes me sick, hmph."
“Oh shush, you are not. You sound like someone who’s dealing with a whole bunch of different feelings at once. It happens to everyone. You still care about her. Still love her. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Ugh! Sarah! What am I gonna do with the rest of my life? Huh? I mean, I'm flying halfway across the world? Hoping I run into one of my ex-girlfriends who I haven’t talked to in years. It’s so stupid!”
“V. Listen to me. You gotta stop being so hard on yourself. Seriously. You never take a day off work. You live alone. You're single. Getting you to go out to a movie is like pulling teeth. Live a little! God! Before you know it, you really are gonna be too old and then you’re gonna sit there and think, fuck. I wish I would’ve done more when I had the chance! C’mon. Trust your instincts. Your heart!”
“What should I do if I see her? What if she’s with her wife?”
“Introduce yourself. Say hi! Just be yourself. By the way, what are you wearing?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m stuck on a few different outfits. Can I show you?”
“Course you can!”
….And you take my mind off of all the worry, the fear and low self-esteem. I’m glad you’re a part of my life. I never thought I’d be able to have this kind of relationship with someone so much younger. I just assumed we wouldn’t have anything in common. But it’s almost like the opposite. You’re so easy to talk to. I feel like I can be myself around you. Thanks, Sarah…. I wish I could tell you how I feel, instead of telling myself. But I’m still scared. And my self-confidence is fucking shot….
“V? Earth to V! Listen. Definitely go with the jeans, tank-top and sandals. You look so sexy in that outfit!”
“Really? You think so? My butt doesn’t look too big?”
“Argh! V! No! You know you have a perfect butt, you just want me to say it! Fine! You have a preem ass!”
“Hehe, thanks. Hey, I gotta go but listen. Thank you. I mean it. This helped. It took my mind off Judy. Even if it was only for a little while. I appreciate it, Sar. You’re a good friend.”
“Awww. V! So sweet! Good luck tonight! Let me know how it goes! Please? And I wanna hear all about Judy too. I know she’s gonna be there!”
“Okay. I promise. Bye, Sarah.”
“Bye, V….”
(Jude. In the exact same state of mind.)
Fuck it. I’m not going tonight.
V’s not gonna be there. I’m gonna fly back to Pittsburgh as soon as I can.
In fact, I’m gonna start checking for flights home.
I just....
Awww fuck! Enough, Judy Alvarez!
It’s just nerves!
Nerves, anxiety. Stress, worry.
You’re gonna go and you’re gonna have a good time.
V’s gonna be there and we’re gonna catch up. It’s gonna be nova....
I wanna try to lie down for a few hours. I got my outfit all ready. Overalls (what else?). Black boots, gray tank top.
I jump on the bed. Roll around. Close my eyes, laugh a little. Giggle at the absurdity of life. Grab a pillow and stick it between my legs. I’m gonna be okay.
I can't wait to see you tonight, calabacita.
V
(8:00 pm. Making my way over to Kabuki)
Did I leave too early? I don’t wanna be the first person there! Nah, it’s gonna take us a while to get through all this traffic. I’ll get there around 8:30. That’s not too bad.
I feel okay. Spent an hour in front of the mirror, making sure my hair and makeup were perfect. A pair of hoop earrings, nose ring, necklace, perfume, body spray.
I’m ready!
Sitting in the back seat of the cab, looking out at Night City. I’m 23 again! My life’s wide open. There’s so many possibilities. So many choices!
....Except I know I’m older now. My life’s taken me all over the world. I’ve been on top of the highest mountains. I’ve hit rock bottom. Spent two years in a coma (or so they tell me). I fell in love. Spent so many years all alone.
I was the toast of the town and then I was a pariah. I lost every single one of my friends. Everyone forgot about me.
If I could go back and do it all over again, would I change anything?
No….
Things happen for a reason. I have to believe that. Maybe everything that’s happened since Jude and I broke up has led me here, to this point.
I guess if I could go back and change one thing, it’s that I would’ve told Judy exactly what was going on. I would have been more up front, honest with her. I would have trusted in the love we shared.
We’re getting close, almost there. Wow, it’s packed! I can see from here. Holy shit! I gotta get out and walk the rest of the way. This taxi isn’t getting any closer....
“This is good. I’ll get out here. Thanks.”
The driver nods. I step out and start walking to Lizzie’s. I’m only about a block away. I can see a million cars, spotlights. It looks really preem.
I’m glad I decided to come. I am. This is a good thing. I feel the positive energy flowing through me already.
I actually jog the last hundred or so yards. I’m so eager to get inside. I’m already sweating. It’s warm out. I bet the bar’s gonna be like a sauna. That’s okay.
Well. This is it. My last night at Lizzie’s. Where Judy and I first met. God, what a crazy life I’ve lived!
I see Rita standing in front of the main double doors. She hasn’t changed a bit! Standing there, trying to look all tough and intimidating with her baseball bat. Gotta love her.
I’m standing amid a throng of people. The line to get in is like a mile long.
I’m trying to grab her attention. Waving. C’mon Rita, let me cut in line. For old times sake?
She finally spots me out of the corner of her eye.
“V!!!! OH MY GOD!! COME HERE!! C’MON! GET UP HERE!”
All the other people turn to stare at me. I’m flushed, smiling awkwardly, but I weave my way through and as soon as I’m close enough, Rita grabs me in the tightest of bear hugs and squeezes as hard as she can.
“V!! I’M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT!! THIS IS SO NOVA!!”
“Hi Rita! How are you?”
“So up and down. Sad, happy. You know. It was just time. Things are crazy down here. This past year alone there've been multiple shootings, stabbings. People are afraid to come out. Even some of the Mox are scared. We found a building for rent, closer to downtown. It’s so much safer there. Susie’s had her eye on the place for months.” She holds me by the arms and smiles. “So tell me! What’s been going on in your life? I’m assuming you left NC, right?”
“Yeah. Actually, I practically live on the other side of the world. Spain. It’s preem.”
“Are you serious? No shit! Wow! Spain, huh? And you flew all the way back just to say goodbye?” She turns away and yells at some of the people trying to sneak in. “HEY! HEY! BACK IN LINE! NO PUSHING!”
“Uh-huh. This place is special to me.” She’s staring at me and then it registers. I’m alone, with no one on my arm.
“Ohhh. shit. Oh, V. Single? So, did you and Judy?”
“Yeah, we split up years ago. So long ago. She’s married actually. Lives in Pittsburgh.”
“Shit, that’s right. I remember hearing she settled down somewhere near the East coast.”
“Yeah. Do you, I mean. Do you think she’s gonna be here tonight?”
Rita gives me a confused look. “I have no idea! Gonk! I would hope she’d be back for the last night. She is still technically a Mox girl, ya know?”
“You haven’t seen her yet?”
“No! The party just started! Give her a little bit of time!” Playfully, she elbows me in the rib cage. Now that my chrome’s all gone, it hurts and I wince in pain. “Go inside. Have a drink! I’ll catch up with you later.”
“Rita, do me a favor. If you see her, don’t say anything about me being here. Please?”
“Alright, alright! I promise! Now go! I can’t stand here and spend all night bullshitting with you. I got work to do! At least for one more night anyway.”
“Thanks, Rita. Bye!”
“V. It’s really good seeing you. Thanks for coming.”
“No problem.”
I make my way inside. Behind me I hear people complaining about the special treatment. Ahhh, who cares? I did a lot of work for the Mox. The least they could do is let me cut in line, sheesh!
Oh my god. The second I step inside, a blast of hot air hits me in the face. The music’s pumping. There’s a million people dancing. It smells so strongly of smoke, sweat, heat, and alcohol. It’s hotter than a fuckin’ sauna in here! I’m not even inside for five minutes and I’m already wiping the sweat from my forehead.
Holy shit. I need a drink. My eyes scan the entire perimeter of the club, trying to catch a glimpse of Judy. It’s dark, but there’s strobe lights and a huge mirrorball. Every few seconds, the whole bar lights up in a blindingly bright light.
Where are you, leelou bean? C’mon, Jude. Hurry….
(Judy, arriving. Fashionably late.)
….Shit, it’s so crowded. There’s Rita in the distance. Hahahaha! She looks exactly the same. Standing there with that corny baseball bat, looking like the queen bitch.
This line is fucking unbelievable. If she doesn’t let me cut, it’s gonna take me hours to get inside. I’m so nervous. I’m praying to myself. Please let V be inside. Please let her be there waiting….
I start waving in Rita’s direction, hoping she’ll look up. I’m sweating already. C’mon, Wheeler. Look up for Christ’s sake! She spots me! Finally!!
“JUDY?? ALVAREZ?? HOLY SHIT!! GET UP HERE!! C’MON!!”
My mouth’s so dry. Heart beating so fast. I’m shaking.
I’m coming baby. I’ll be there soon. Are you inside? You are, aren’t you?
(I’m back! I’m in Lizzie’s again! The first time in over a decade!)
It’s so stiflingly hot. I wanna sneak down to the basement, my old office. I wonder if it’s even there. Nah, knowing Susie Q, she probably had it covered over in concrete.
The music’s so loud. Techno, bass pumping. It smells like sweat, liquor, smoke. I find a tiny bit of room downstairs and I just start scanning for V. Hoping to catch a glimpse. Slowly, my head moves left to right, right to left….
Fuck, she’s not here?
Could it be that she decided not to show up?
Jesus Christ!
Where are you, calabacita?
Where the fuck are yo—?
I freeze.
No way. No fuckin’ way. I-Is that you sitting at the bar?
Y-Your hair. Oh jeez, oh, it’s just-just lovely. That’s you. I can tell from a thousand miles away.
My knees. They’re all wobbly. S-Shaky. I have to lean against the wall for support.
My senses overload. It’s too loud, too hot. Too dark, too long to wait….
I hold my breath. I’m afraid I’m gonna start crying. Only you. Only you can make me feel this way. Not even Bianca. Not even close.
I make my way over to where you’re sitting. How can I be this nervous? I can barely walk.
(V. A tap on her shoulder. The tightest hug of her entire life)
….Maybe you’re not coming after all. Maybe I was wrong about the whole thing.
Maybe I’m just stuck in the pa-
Wait. I can feel someone touching the strap of my thin tank top, playfully pinching it....
I turn around.
It. Feels. Like. Everything's. Moving. In. Slow. Motion....
Leelou bean….
There you are. Smiling. Neither of us say a word. I stand up, everything slows down. The music stops, it’s quiet. I throw my arms around you and squeeze as tight as I possibly can. Feel your body against mine. It’s so warm, I rest my head on your shoulder, close my eyes, and hold you….
Just one more second. Hold you for one more second. I can’t let go. Don’t wanna let you go.
We stand there, amid the packed club, spinning around slowly, never letting go. Hugging you. I can feel the palms of your hands running up and down my back. I don’t wanna open my eyes.
I breathe you in through my nose.
Awww god, Jude. It is you. You smell the same and I squeeze tighter. Such a luscious, luscious scent.
The world stops, Time’s frozen. It's 2077. We’re back in Lizzie’s. I’m smiling and crying at the same time. I think you are too. I can feel your hands moving in circles against the small of my back.
“Heyyy, Jude,” I whisper. The only sound I hear is you inhaling, exhaling. I can feel my tears. I rub my nose against your shirt. I love your scent. It excites me, makes me come alive. I feel like I can live forever., longer....
Why does this moment have to end?
Why does time move so fast?
How can it be over ten years since I’ve taken you in my arms and felt your tendons, joints, and muscles. The way you move. The curve of your lips, the swell of your breasts, and the colors of your tattoos….
Say it, Jude. Please, baby? Call me your pumpkin. Just one more time….
"Mi calabacita. Hi.”
Oh fuck. Fuck, I-I, it’s too much. I feel dizzy. I didn't realize how emotional I was. Is that what you call Bianca now?
“E-Excuse me,” I gasp, trying to smile, but desperately trying to get the fuck out. I pull away from Judy as all this pain starts coursing through me.
The worst kind of pain I’ve ever felt before in my life....
All those days and nights. Wishing it was me. Holding my pillow.
Why wasn’t it me?
Why?
Why wasn’t I good enough?
What did she have that I didn’t?
I’m healed! I’m good! The shard’s gone! I’m right here!
What a fool I am! What a fucking gonk I am!
Blindly, I push my way through the crowds of people. Of course I remember where the bathrooms are. I know this place like the back of my hand.
FUCK! There’s a line! GODDAMMIT! I turn down the hall and make for the back stairwell. I don’t even know if you’re behind me. At this point, I don’t care. I just need to get away from everyone and everything.
Especially you.
The stairwell’s empty. I can’t catch my breath. I sit down clumsily. The bass from the music sounds muffled, distant. I just need to be alone….
But a second later, I feel you behind me. You sit down next to me. Take my hand in yours, hold it. You look beautiful, Judy....
Oh, your touch.
I realize I’m practically weeping. I’m so embarrassed.
“I-I d-d-don’t. I’m s-s-sorry. I-I just need a minute.”
You rest your head on my shoulder. You’re upset too, aren’t you?
“V?”
“What?”
You start rubbing my hand. “I’m sorry….”
I don’t really remember anything after that except that I pulled you in and held you close.
And for a brief, fleeting moment, we were right where we belonged....
Notes:
Next: The magnitude of the situation begins to settle in. V alternates from being overjoyed, to frightened, angry, and above all, full of love. Meanwhile, Judy's having a hard time coming to terms with the way things ended back in 2077. Is there time enough left to make things right? Or has that ship already sailed?
Chapter 6: Have I Been Holding On For Too Long?
Summary:
....Alone, V and Judy have an awkward first exchange. After all, it's been a decade and Jude's still married. She must love Bianca completely. There's no room left in her heart for V, is there?
They decide to delta, and leave Lizzie's for someplace quieter. Outside, danger lurks on the streets of Night City. A group of gangers congregates close by, hellbent on making mayhem. V's no longer a mercenary. No more chrome, no more implants. Can they make it back safely? A
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(For the longest time, we sit silent in the dusty stairwell….)
….We can hear music reverberating through the walls. It smells musty, like time and age. Like something no longer relevant. It’s dark. Hot and stuffy.
We’re both nervous. You’re resting your head on my shoulder. I could stay like this forever but I’m so confused. Has it really been ten years since I last felt the heat coming off your body?
Neither of us speak. I think we’re both afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Finally, you murmur, “It’s so good to see you, V. I’m so happy you’re here right now. I wasn’t sure if you’d come back.”
“I felt the same way about you.” Now I tilt my head and rest it against yours. “It’s good to see you too. It’s just-just a lot, you know?”
“I know. I know it is. Let’s go slow. I’m in shock myse—”
I cut you off. I have to know. “Are you still married?”
You tense and I already know the answer.
“Yes. I’m still married.”
My heart breaks a tiny bit more. “Wow. Long time….” How can my feelings be so diametrically opposed? One second I love you with all my heart, the next, I hate you with every fiber of my being.
I just felt the strongest urge to kiss you, followed by an equally strong desire to slap you across the face and scream, "HOW COULD YOU?"
(Judy, is it that you still have so much power over me or have I held onto something for far too long?)
“You wanna get out of here? I really only came back to see you. Wanna go get a drink? Take a cab back downtown? Find someplace quieter?”
I start shaking my head back and forth, like I simply cannot accept that you’re still married.
“And then what?” I whisper, full of sorrow, bitterness.
“I don’t know. Talk?”
“Heh. Already know all I need to know. Judy, I-I just can’t believe you’re still married.” Scared now, I turn away and whisper, “Did I make us out to be more than what we actually were? I’m serious. All these years. Wondering how a love like ours could fade away so harmlessly, fizzle out like flat soda. Was it just a fling? Infatuation?”
This time, you try to hold my hand but I yank it away in disgust.
“V. I flew from Pittsburgh to Night City on a hunch. I wasn’t even sure you were gonna be here. If what we had was just a fling, I don't think we'd be sitting here in the stairwell at Lizzie’s trying to figure out where we’re at.”
“I-I moved away. Spain….”
You gasp. I can hear the shock in your voice. “S-Spain? Why so far?”
“Trying to outrun you, what else? ‘Course it didn’t work.”
“Why did you come back, V? Tonight. Here. Why?”
I turn and look at you curiously….
“Because I still love you, Judy. Why else? I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.”
I can hear you getting emotional.
“I-I can’t be here. It’s too l-loud. Too many memories. It’s too fucking weird.” And then you mutter, “Spain.” As if saying it out loud makes it more believable.
“How long are you in town for?” I ask, waiting on pins and needles for your answer.
(How much time do we really have?)
“A week. T-Thought I’d take a little vacation. You?”
“Same. A week.”
You reach for my hand and this time, I don’t yank it away. Are we testing one another’s boundaries? Seeing how far we can push it?
“I know a way out. A passageway that runs under the bar. The entrance is down the hall, unless Susie had it closed off. We don’t have to go back upstairs. What do you say, V? Do you wanna go somewhere and talk?”
“T-Talk?” I look up at you, expectantly. “O-Okay. Yeah, I guess. There's a bar in my hotel. Seemed pretty laid back. I’m in Charter Hill. Wanna take a cab?”
You nod, slowly, as if you’re struggling with some internal dilemma. “Uh-huh. Sure. S-Spain, V?”
I smile. “And look where I ended up hmmm? Right back at Lizzie’s. With you. Guess it wasn’t far enough, huh?”
“Mmmm, guess not.”
….As I go to stand, I feel your hand on my jeans.
“What? What is it?”
“You're still beautiful, Valerie….”
I turn red. I don’t think you ever used my real name before.
“So are you, Jude. So are you….”
….You lead us underneath the club. We're in an old tunnel. I never knew it existed. It’s dimly lit, damp, and humid. We can hear water trickling down the walls, hitting the concrete floor.
“We’ll end up across the street, away from the crowds, all the traffic.”
“Judy. Shouldn’t we at least go back and say goodbye to Rita?”
You spin back around. “I-I mean, if you really want to. She’s probably still out front, fighting with customers. We can send her an email. She doesn’t give a shit. Just send a donation. That's what I did. Let’s come back when they have their grand opening, downtown. Plus, I didn’t even get a chance to finish my drink.”
I decide to tease you a little bit. “But Jude. Don’t you wanna see Susie Q once more? For old times sake? I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
You turn and glare at me as I start laughing. “Oh, you’re gonna get it, you know that?”
“What?” I shrug my shoulders, thinking of the scowl on your face every time I used to ask you about work….
….A few minutes later, we reach the end of the tunnel. But the fucking door is locked! I look at you like, “What now?”
You just smirk. “V. I mean give me a little bit of credit at least.” You pull a keychain from your back pocket, and find the one you’re looking for. “I just hope Susie didn’t change the locks. Then we really are fucked. We’ll have to turn around.”
Tentatively, you slide the key in the hole, stop and stare at me.
“The moment of truth,” I say.
“Moment of truth.”
You turn it and the lock clicks. We both breathe huge sighs of relief….
We walk outside and in the distance, we can see Lizzie’s is still buzzing with energy. Still packed. There’s NCPD parked up and down the street, directing traffic. It looks like the grand opening of some preem new club in City Center.
“Where are you staying, Judy?”
“Oh, uhhh. One of the hotels downtown. Close to one of your old haunts actually."
“My Corpo Plaza apartment?”
“Yep.”
“How is it?”
“What? My hotel?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s okay. Superficially preem. Like everything else down there.”
“Mhmm.”
(….By now, it’s pretty late and I’m a little scared. We're just two women strolling around Kabuki. I’m thinking about what Rita said and I start to panic a little. There aren’t any taxis in sight.)
“What’s wrong, V?”
“I don’t know. We really shouldn’t be out, walking around here. It’s almost 11:00….”
Judy must have forgotten that I’m powerless now. No chrome, no implants or Kiroshi’s. Nothing.
“Oh y-yeah. Right, right.”
Subconsciously, we’ve been holding hands since we came out of the tunnel. I squeeze yours.
“Let me guess. You thought I was still chromed out, huh?”
You look down at your feet. “I-I guess I did. I just assumed it was like before, ya know? I always felt so safe with you."
“I know. Times like these, it really sucks. Not having any implants. If I remember correctly, there’s an NCART not too far from here. Wanna go there, or try our luck with getting a cab?”
….Before you can answer, we hear wild, raucous laughter, followed by gunshots and screams. In the distance, about a block away, we see a bunch of gangers.
Fuck.... Bad news. Really bad news. Hopefully, they’re still far enough away where they haven't seen us. But it’s only a matter of time….
Our situation just became a lot more desperate….
"Shit," you whisper. “What should we do, V? You were always calm and cool in situations like this.”
“Having a Malorian around my waist helped. That, and being able to jump thirty-five in the air. Shit. The NCART’s this way. It’s less than a block away. The only thing is, if those gonks are headed in the same direction, we’re in trouble….”
As we scramble to make up our minds, a taxi (ON DUTY!) comes flying down the street. Serendipitous?
You notice and instantly start screaming wildly. Waving your arms in the air.
“HEY! HEY! WAIT! STOPPPP!!”
(And to our amazement, the driver actually hits the brakes!)
We’re beyond relieved as we quickly slide in the backseat. Our hearts are pounding. We’re scared, but also exhilarated, excited, worried. We forgot this is what it’s like being in a place like Night City. We're just tourists now....
We’re practically panting, as I tell the driver where to go. Once we start moving, I turn around and look out the back window.
There’s a group of about 10-15 gangoons, waving their pistols in the air. Cackling like hyenas, just looking for trouble. I breathe a huge sigh of relief as I feel your hand on my knee.
You’re staring at me, wide-eyed.
“Fuck, that was close, V!”
"Yeah, tell me about it.”
….By the time the taxi pulls up to the front of my hotel, we’ve calmed down a lot.
Suddenly, it hits us. We’re both like, really, really tired.
I pay the fare and we’re standing on the sidewalk. It’s a million times safer here. Everything’s lit up, there’s cameras everywhere. Drones, mechs, NCPD. It’s like a different world.
“Wanna get a drink?” I ask.
“O-Okay.”
“What’s wrong, Jude?”
“Nothing. I-I’m just like, really tired all of a sudden. I think that took a lot out of me.”
“Yeah. I’m kinda beat too.”
Neither of us knows what to say. It's a hike to get back to your hotel and it’s almost 11:30.
(I wanna ask, but I’m afraid....)
“Ugh!” You stretch, yawn. Groan loudly.
“Hey, ummm. Do you wanna go up to my room and talk there? If not, it’s tota—”
I look to see you nodding. “Yes. I was waiting for you to ask.”
I have no idea what to think as we make our way through the lobby and step into the elevator.
You put your arm around me and lay your head against my shoulder. I can tell you're just as nervous as I am.
Damn! If our hearts are beating so fast!
Notes:
Next: How do you tell someone who's been in a relationship for ten years that you're still in love with them? At this point, does it matter to Judy how V feels? Maybe they could exist as, "friends...." V wonders if she might have misread their entire trajectory, starting all the way back in 2077. Did Judy simply see her as a fling and nothing more? The thought terrifies her beyond belief....
That can't be true, can it?
Chapter 7: If You Were Mine Pt. I
Summary:
All of the hurt, pain, fear, sadness, and love of the last decade plus comes out in a torrent of emotion. V and Judy yell, scream, pause, and listen.
Listen to the sounds of the love that still dwells in each of their hearts....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
V & Judy. Night City....
….We take the elevator up to my room.
I’m a wreck. A mess. Trying so hard not to cry. Wiping my nose on my arm. I can’t help it. I know I’m a gonk.
I just can’t believe you’re still married. You and I.... It really was just a fling, wasn’t it?
I’m so embarrassed, making a fool of myself in front of you.
Everything, everything I thought about our relationship.
How it was so special, so unique. One of a kind. It was all bullshit, huh?
You moved on….
(Why can't I?)
“V, what is it? Why are you this upset?”
I shoot you a look like, How dare you ask me that?
“N-Nothing. N-N-Nothing. Jude, j-just nothing.”
The elevator finally fucking stops.
I feel like I can’t walk.
Why is it taking so fucking long to get back to the room!
I can see people, strangers out of the corner of my eye, staring. Judy's smiling awkwardly.
“Come on, baby,” you say in a soothing voice, but it hurts me so much that I actually wince in pain.
When we reach the room, my hands are shaking and I can’t open the door. I press the key fob into your hand.
“J-J-Just hold it in-in f-front of t-the door.”
As soon as it opens, I sprint into the bathroom, lock the door, and lose my mind. This is worse than that day in the hospital. Worse....
I can’t catch my breath. I can hear you knocking, softly.
“Please. V. Please open the door. Please.”
“I CAN’T! I HATE YOU!”
You knock again. “C’mon, V. Open up.”
“LEAVE!!” As soon as I say it though, I panic and open the door.
You’re standing there, trying to maintain your composure, but looking just as wrecked.
“Can I hold you?”
“WHY? WHAT FOR? IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING!” I’m confused and of course you know that. You know me better than anyone. Softly, you draw me in and squeeze me with just enough pressure to make me feel safe in your arms.
(But it doesn’t mean anything! You’re still married!)
“C’mere,” you whisper, and it disarms me. I let you draw me in, hold me. Baby, you’re so gentle. Even after all this time, you know exactly how to make me feel better.
(How can you not feel the same?)
You’re swaying with me….
Rocking me back and forth, back and forth.
Rhythmic, perfect.
Oh, Jude.
This is exactly what I needed.
Exactly….
I’m trying to calm down but there’s a million different thoughts bouncing around in my head….
(Are you gonna stay here tonight? What about tomorrow? Do you have plans? Can we see each other every day? What happens when we have to go back? Do you still think about me? Do you love Bianca more than you loved me? Do you wanna kiss? Can we kiss? Do I look okay? How’s my hair? Do you like my outfit?)
BiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBiancaBianca....
“Hey, hey, hey…. V? Look at me.”
“No,” I pout, clinging to you tighter. “I’m so sad, Judy. Why am I stuck in the past while you seem fine?”
You freeze. Hold me at arms length.
Uh-oh. I hit a nerve. I hurt you, didn’t I?
“FINE? FINE! Are you fuckin’ nuts? HUH? Do you even realize how hard it is for me to get through one day without thinking about you? DO YOU? Yeah! I’m married! For over ten years! Do I love my wife? Sure I do! But she's not you! She never will be! You left me, okay? SO FUCK YOU, V! FUCK YOU!”
We start hitting each other but neither of us really wants to hurt the other, so we’re sorta missing on purpose, most of our blows land harmlessly in the air.
“FUCK YOU!" I scream back. "Ten years, you don't think to call? WHAT IF I WAS DEAD, HUH?”
Your mouth opens in anger. "How could I reach out? What! And have my heart broken all over again? You're so selfish, you know that? THINK YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WENT THROUGH HELL! HELL!"
We fall to the floor, both inconsolable, frantic. Confused, bitter. We roll around, still pretending to fight, and then it’s like, all of a sudden, we just stop….
We're looking at one another.... Almost at the same time, we both say, "Sorry." Our faces are all red and swollen. Eyes bloodshot. Cheeks, streaked with tears.
We hold each other. You start running your hands through my hair and then I’m doing the same to you. It feels nova....
(....I close my eyes. Do you? I start twirling your hair. It’s longer now. Lush, dark.)
Hear you moaning softly and then you completely rearrange the molecules of my soul when you whisper,
“Love you, calabacita….”
….We must have passed out because the next thing I know, I wake up on the floor, beside the bed. Immediately, I feel around to make sure you’re still here. That you weren’t some trick of the mind. Some hidden side-effect of an ancient Relic….
It takes me a few seconds before my hand finds your leg. You’ve still got your clothes on.
But I know you’re here and so I can keep the pain at bay, at least for a little while longer anyway.
Yes. Yes. YES!
Right behind me, holding me by the waist. I’m so happy that I let out a tiny moan of pleasure. Then to my delight, I hear you make the same sound a second later.
Judy…
I’m too tired to cry.
Too wired to sleep.
We still have so much time left!
F-Five days!
That’s a lifetime!
I close my eyes and fall asleep.
Every few seconds, you squeeze me just a little bit tighter.
I can’t even remember the last time I felt this good.
I’m so high, so high….
It’s love.
“Night,” I whisper, even though I can hear you snoring lightly.
“Night, baby,” you answer.
I waited so long for a moment like this….
We sleep but I don’t dream.
There’s no reason.
You’re holding me and any dream would pale in comparison.
I don’t understand time or how the earth turns on its axis, or what makes the seconds tick past….
All I know is that you’re here.
After ten years, you’re holding me.
Your arm is my pillow….
I sigh happily.
I don’t wanna wake you, so as quietly as I can, I reach up and pull one of the blankets from the bed.
Carefully, I cover us both.
Then I unbutton my jeans, slipping out of them.
You need a pillow, so I ball them up and gently tuck them under your head.
(If you were mine…. If you were mine)
“Mmmm, thanks, V,” you murmur.
“Welcome.”
(How deep.... How deep our love could be, again)
….Lightly, your breath hits the back of my neck.
It’s cool. I bite my bottom lip.
Drifting in and out of sleep, Every so often I steal a glance towards the window. As long as it’s dark outside, I know we can stay like this for a little while longer.
Just as I’m about to nod off, I feel the slightest, briefest touch of your lips brushing across my neck.
Was it an accident?
Did you mean it?
Does it matter?
I feel you.
I feel you....
Notes:
Next: Waking up and realizing it wasn't all a dream. V can feel Judy's arms around her waist, holding her and it kills so much of the pain of lost years. Even if all they have is a few days, it still feels like an eternity....
Chapter 8: Questions & Answers
Summary:
As dawn breaks, V and Judy awake in each other's arms. But the beauty of the moment is shattered when Bianca calls. As V gets ready to take a shower, she asks Judy to stay. But there's another question that begs to be asked. Will V have the courage to ask it? And what will Jude say?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
V's Hotel Room. Charter Hill, Night City.
….I steal another glance at the window.
Oh, no.
Oh, no….
The sun’s coming up.
Dawn….
Not yet. Not yet.
Just give us a little more time.
(There’s a war raging inside me)
I reach back and squeeze your leg, you squeeze my waist.
….Feel your lips brush across the back of my neck again.
Are you doing that on purpose?
“Ugh, I’m not ready to wake up yet,” you grumble, reading my mind. “Do we have to?”
“No, Jude. No. We don’t have to….”
….Then the moment’s utterly destroyed by the sound of your holophone.
Every ping, a stab in my heart.
You don’t say anything, but you get up, grab your phone and go into the bathroom.
I’m lying on the floor, alone now, staring up at the ceiling. Cover my face with my arm. I’m disgusted with myself. Disgusted by my weakness, my inability to understand you.
Am I blinded by my own selfishness? My own insecurities?
(Judy, on the phone, in the bathroom)
“….Hey, B.”
“Hi, Judee! How’s it going?”
“Uhhh, good. Good.”
“So tell me! How was the party? See any of your old friends?”
“Ummm, yeah. It-It was nice. Crowded, uhhh. Saw Rita. Rita Wheeler. A couple of the other Mox girls.”
Bianca studied her wife. Slowly, in a measured voice, she asked, “Was V there?”
(Fuck. I should’ve known that’d be one of the first things she’d ask me.)
“Uh-huh. I-I saw her sitting at the bar. We, uhhh, we had a drink, did some catching up.”
Bianca was staring intently now at her wife. She knew a little of Judy and V’s history. Not much. Just enough to feel somewhat on edge….
“How is she?”
“G-Good, really good. She ummm, she lives in Spain.”
“Really? Wow. And she flew all the way back to Night City? For a party?”
“I guess so….”
(I laugh, uneasily, but there’s tension and I know Bianca’s not gonna let this go.)
“How long is she in town for?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t really talk about that.”
“What did you girls talk about?”
“Nothing, j-just like, what’s been going on in our lives. Ya know. Shit like that.”
“Nothing? It’s been over ten years, right? Was she there alone?”
“I-I think so? It was really crowded. She was by herself when I ran into her at the bar.”
“How long did you two talk?”
“I-I mean I wasn’t really, uhhh, wasn’t really keeping track. Half hour? Forty minutes?”
“Oh…. Is she married? Family?”
“Bianca. I don’t know. We didn’t really get into all that.”
“Well, are you gonna see her again before you fly back?”
(I sigh, annoyed you’re peppering me with questions.)
“N-No, I mean. S-She’s, I don’t know where she’s staying.”
(Already, I’m lying to my wife. Already. This isn’t good. Plus, I’m a terrible liar. Always have been. Bianca can usually spot it from a mile away.)
“Did you exchange detes?”
“Bianca. Come on. What is it with the twenty questions? We ran into one another, talked for a little while, and then said goodbye. I don’t know what answers you’re looking for here.”
“Judee, it’s just. I know you two haven’t seen each other in so long. You’re telling me you talked for a half hour and then just said goodbye? That's it?
“Yes. That’s what I’m telling you. I gotta go, B.”
“Why do you have to go?”
“Because I just woke up. I gotta pee, brush my teeth. Make coffee. Can I ping you later?”
“Sure. I love you, Judy.”
(I take a deep breath. I know V’s right outside this door. I’m already scared.)
“Love you too, B. Bye.”
….The call ends. I open the door. V isn’t on the floor. I look and see her standing in the tiny kitchen, making coffee in her sexy underwear. How can she be so fuckin’ cute?
(Oh shit. I didn’t want things to start off on this kind of note. Not today. Not already.)
Gently, I come up behind her. I can tell she’s upset. Why wouldn’t she be?
“Hey, can I ho—?”
“Mhmm…. You don’t have to ask.”
….I wrap my arms around her waist. She still has a beautiful body. I can feel the heat coming from her legs. Her panties are white, satin. Her butt looks stunning.
“Makin’ coffee?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Preem….”
I rest my head against the back of her shoulder. She tenses, then relaxes.
“Was that your wife?” She won’t turn around. Her hands are resting on the counter. I can smell the coffee, hear it percolating, bubbling.
“Yes. It was.”
“Did you ever tell her about me? A-About us?”
“Yeah. When we, uhhh, w-when we first started dating, I-I ummm…. Told her a little bit about what happened.”
She stands still, reaches down, holds my hand.
“What happened?” She whispers, so softly I almost don’t hear. “Tell me, Judy. Tell me what happened.”
“Baby, you vanished from the face of the earth. I-I waited. And waited…. Y-You were dying, I didn’t know what happened, V. I’m sorry.”
Her tongue clicks in exasperation.
“It’s just a word…. Isn’t it? Sorry? I know I’m not-not your responsibility.”
Slowly, she turns around and we stand facing one another. With her left hand, V caresses my cheek and smiles. God, she's so beautiful, but I can tell she's sad.
“Calabacita. I never, ever stopped lo—”
V presses a finger to my lips. “Do you c-call her that too?”
“What?”
From the corners of her eyes, I can see tears running down her cheek.
“Do you call your wife that? When you’re in bed, m-making love to her? D-Do you cry out that name i-in the darkness of your bedroom?”
“No, no, V. No. I-I never called anyone else that. No….”
She lays her head on my chest. I hold her. Press her against me….
“Why wasn’t it me? Why am I on the outside, looking in? Is-Is she better than me? Judy? I-Is she?”
“No, baby. No.”
“Ten years. Jesus Christ. H-How many times must the two of you fucked….”
“Stop it. V. Stop it. Why are you doing this to yourself?”
“Because it’s all my fault, isn’t it? If-If only I would’ve told you, been more honest, open. I was so young. My life was so fucked up. Y-You were the one stable thing in it. Maybe I just relied too heavily on you. Put too much pressure on our relationship. It was so fragile, wasn’t it?”
“It’s not your fault. We were learning as we went. I didn’t know what love was, until I met you. I mean, Evelyn Parker? We were close, but it wasn’t the same. V. Don’t do this to yourself.”
….We stand there, holding one another. The front of my tank top’s wet from where her face presses into it.
“Coffee’s ready,” you say, still clinging to me.
“Okay.”
“I need to take a shower. Will you please stay until I get out?”
Something about the way she says it, arouses me so much. I don't know what it is. The sound of V's voice? Raspy, tired, sexy. I feel excitement coursing through my veins….
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“M’kay.”
She pulls away, heads toward the bedroom and gently closes the door behind her. I just stand there, in the kitchen, sipping my coffee, staring in her direction, wanting to follow. I can smell the pheromones trailing in her wake. Tangy, sweaty, a tiny bit sour. I open my mouth, remembering how much I love V's scent. I wonder how it must smell between her legs. I stagger to the nearby table. I have to sit down.
I wanna go down on her.... Rub my nose against her tuft of hair.
I wanna sixty-nine all morning, until our jaws are so sore we can’t speak.
I’ll be on the bottom, same as always.
We’ll taste each other all day and all night….
Quickly, I shake the thought from my head.
I can’t. I can’t risk a ten-year marriage on-on—
On what, Judy?
A fling?
Was V right? Was that all it was? A six-month fling?
No. No, that’s not what I meant. I’m not thinking straight. My thoughts are all jumbled.
Press the palms of my hand against my cheeks. They’re hot.
God, I wish I had a cigarette.
And then she comes out of the bedroom, wearing the hotel robe and nothing else.
We both stop and stare at one another….
V, seeing you, like this? I'm drawn to you, instantly. It’s like, your beauty never fades or rusts. You look immaculate.
(Do you wanna ask me to come in with you, calabacita? What would I say? I love my wife. I....)
Notes:
Next: Spending the day together and of course, it's messy and perfect at the same time. Even after ten years, V & Jude rediscover their rhythm rather quickly. Who will be the first one to ask? To make the first move? To say what should have been said a long, long time ago? Judy's internal conflict grows.... She's been married for such a long time.
Is V worth risking everything for?
Chapter 9: Rust, Love, Rust, Love....
Summary:
Valerie.... In the shower. Judy knocks on the door. Torn between a promise she made to her wife, and her undying love for V. Neither of them knows what to do. How to act. Who to be. Who are they now? Surely not the same two girls who were only 23 when they met and fell in love, all the back in 2077?
V has two questions....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Valerie)
“What? What’s wrong? What is it, Jude?”
“Nothin’s wrong. It’s just I haven’t seen you like this in so long. Bathrobe, underwear. Making coffee for us. I missed it.”
(I look away. I wanna tell you there's moments when I feel so comfortable around you. So natural. Myself, the real me, but I’m tired, so I just shrug my shoulders and make my way to the bathroom. I can feel your eyes on me.)
….I wish I had the guts to invite you in with me. But I’m so afraid of being rejected.
This whole fucking thing is so weird. I can’t right now. I just can’t. I’m too mentally worn out to try and tiptoe around every little nuance.
Should I?
Shouldn’t I?
Yes, no?
Do, don’t….
But Judy. I’d love to take a shower with you right now. Have you stand behind me, wash me off. I miss those moments more than you’ll ever know….
Fuck it. If you want to come in, I’ll leave the door unlocked.
….Five minutes later, I’m standing underneath the hot water, washing the dried sweat from my body. After being stuck inside Lizzie’s last night, I need to clean off….
Ahhh, this feels nova.
I’m rinsing the shampoo from my hair, when I hear the sound of a timid knock….
“Yeah?”
“Can I come in? I just wanna brush my teeth. Did you bring a spare toothbrush?”
I smile…. Make a fist, smile....
“Yes, you can come in. No, I didn’t bring an extra toothbrush. You can use mine, or go downstairs. I’m sure they have a store in the lobby.”
The door opens gingerly.
“I’ll just use yours.”
“Okay.”
The shower curtain distorts our figures, obscures us. That still doesn’t mean it isn’t awkward or weird….
But it’s also so incredibly fucking exhilarating! And I’m already tuned up….
The steam fogs the mirror. I’m watching you. You put the lid down on the toilet seat and sit.
“You okay?” I ask.
“No. M-Maybe I should delta. Head back downtown, my hotel.”
(I shake my head no. No…. No, y-you’re bluffing. Judy, if you leave now, we really were just a glorified one night stand. No, you’re bluffing. I decide to call you on it.)
“Okay. Be careful getting back to your hotel.” I continue washing myself off.
You don’t answer. You don’t move….
“V?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course you can.”
“Can I join you? B–But can we just hold each other, nothing more than that?”
I let out a tiny giggle. That’ll be impossible, but if you wanna try, I’m game….
“Uh-huh. Just hold each other. Got it.”
(Right. Standing under a hot shower, both of us nude, and not doing anything except holding each other? Oh, Judy. You must really be conflicted….)
I watch you step out of your clothes. You’re blurry, but I can tell you still have an incredible figure. Then I watch as your hand grabs the curtain and moves it aside.
(When our eyes meet, it feels like being hit by a bolt of lightning. Powerful currents of electricity, vibrations, and sensual energy are already coursing through my body.)
I hold out my hand for support. You grab it and I help you in.
The instant we’re standing under the water, we embrace.
It’s tender, beautiful, delightful, incredible, and magnificent. We both cry out softly in delight, moaning.
Heat, steam, and speed combine, collide and fill us with unlimited strength.
This is where we belong, Judy Alvarez! Right here! You know it just as well as I do!
Our breasts press together (they’re the same size). Our nipples are already hard.
I look in your eyes, you look in mine.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
You take your finger and move it over my lips. They’re soaking wet from the shower. You stare, as if seeing me for the first time. You look me up and down. I feel self conscious. I can tell I’m blushing.
You smile and my heart speeds up. I smile back. I feel the best kind of flutter in my chest.
“V. I’m so torn,” you murmur, moving your finger over my mouth. “Ten years, apart from you? No. No, I-I forced myself to forget you. I b-built a life with someone else, but no one, no one could take your place. W-When I got the email, inviting me back, I thought of you immediately. I knew you’d come here.”
“For you,” I whisper, taking my finger and running it over your eyelids. “I love you. I never stopped loving you, no matter how far away from me you were. I knew this was probably our last chance to connect. A-And I knew if you came, then well, then maybe things might work out after all.”
“I’m so afraid, Valerie. I’ve never been more frightened in my entire life. Except for when you disappeared. B-But I-I love you, baby. I never stopped either….”
You lean in and kiss me on the forehead so gently, I almost lose my balance.
I realize we’re both sniffling. I’m so emotional. You are too. This is so hard, so hard. I don’t want to, but I feel like I have to ask. You can tell I’ve got something on my mind.
First, I turn the hot water up. I want it as high as it can go. I want us to burn together. Sweat our emotions out. Soon, the steam envelops and holds us in its embrace. It’s hotter than a jacuzzi.
We’re standing naked in the shower, entwined. Still pressed together.
….You’re a married woman. If your wife knew what we were doing right now, she would flip out, Judy. Lose her mind, and you’re okay with this?
Am I?
I have to ask, baby. I’m sorry….
“Jude,” I say, holding your face in the palms of my hands. “Look at us. It hasn’t even been twelve hours. Look at where we ended up.”
“I-I know. V can you turn the hot water down a little bit? I’m like, sweating.”
“Not yet. Bear with me for a second. I need to ask you two things. How you answer is very, very important to me. Please. We haven’t spoken in ten years. I want you to be as sincere and honest as you can. Promise me.”
“You’re scaring me. I’m burning up, baby. Please, turn the hot water down.”
“First, I need your answers. Okay?” I’m smiling, but I can feel my heart cracking.
“What?”
“Promise you’ll tell me the truth?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Say it.”
“Jesus Christ, V. Come on. My skin is on fire. Okay! I promise! Now what is it?”
(....I’m dizzy from the temperature. From the decade we spent apart. All the nights I cried until I ran out of tears. The moments when I thought to myself, if I can’t have you, then I don’t wanna live. All the mornings when I woke up in a cold sweat because of another nightmare. Another bad dream….)
All of it. Has everything that's happened led me to this moment?
I take the deepest breath and ask. "Are you happy? Are you in love with Bianca?”
Your breath catches in your throat. The water’s so hot. Our breasts are pressed tightly together. I look down, between your legs. It’s perfectly manicured, a thin strip of dark, black fur runs down the middle. I look at myself. I haven’t shaved and my pubic hair grows thick, curly, and dense. Jet black….
I want to touch you in the worst way. Touch you and love you….
Suddenly, you can’t face me. The water’s so hot. You shake your head. “V…. I-I can’t. I can’t answer, baby. Don’t make me…. Please.”
Notes:
Next: From one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. A few days to make up for several years. And then they leave to return to their other lives....
Chapter 10: Shimmer & Sparkle (Brief Interlude)
Summary:
Standing under the shower, holding one another tenderly, Judy confesses the truth to V: Time made it easier to live with the pain of losing all they once shared. But Judy Alvarez also reveals another truth: No one will ever take V's place....
No one.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(....Your fucked up response causes me to scream, “I DIDN’T MEAN SHIT TO YOU, DID I? DID I?”)
….But you hold me close. I squirm a little, not much. I feel terrible. Acting immature, like a jilted lover, but I have no claims over you. You don’t owe me anything.
“V, look at me.”
Our eyes meet. I try to look away but you tilt my head back to yours.
“Are you happy?” I ask again, because if you tell me you are, then I’ll let you go. I swear to god. I’ll let you go. That’s all I want for you. To be happy. Life’s too short and if you found true love and contentment with Bianca, then who am I to take that away from you. Or her, for that matter….
“I am. B-But listen to me. I’m happy, but it’s not the same as those six months back in 2077. It’s not. It’s like I said earlier. I-I learned to live my life without you. And V? Baby, it-it does get easier. Time helps."
I’m holding onto you while I can feel you rubbing my back. I want you to be honest with me. I asked you at the beginning of the convo. So I can’t hate you for telling me the truth.
“A-And…. You-You’re in love with your wife?”
I’m looking at us and the timing of my question suddenly strikes me as so ironic because we’re entwined, sweating in a hot shower. Our bodies, moving underneath the water like a single entity.
“I love her, V. I do. You asked me to be forthright, honest. And I am. I hope you don’t hate me. Bianca’s been with me since you went away, so yes, I-I love her. She’s my wife….” You take a deep breath. “But she’ll never be you, calabacita. Not even close….”
I lay my head against your chest and sigh happily. Rub my nose against the spider's web tattoo on your breast. Touch, twirl your nipple with the tip of my tongue.
"Jude. I just miss you, baby. Kiss me like you used to. Make love to me. Please. Even if it’s the last time. Make love to me...."
You nod. "Okay, calabacita," you answer, tears in your eyes (your own guilt must be heavy) and we fall into one another with unparalleled fervor. It's sublime.
Everything turns upside down. The pounding of my heart increases as you lean in and kiss me so gently, so lovingly and I try to kiss you back just as tenderly.
We start making out in the shower. Our voices, urgent, full of lust, ache, and yearning….
We begin making love; moving our bodies up and down, grinding and spinning, clinging, our hands clasped in the tightest of grips….
Thousands of days and nights have passed since the last time. Yet, it feels so organic, so right.
Words would only cheapen the moment….
(Our bodies combust, explode. Hormones alight. All these fascinating odors we create from our love….)
It spurs us on, as our most sensitive spots touch, brushing up and down.
The water hasn’t cooled us off at all. We sweat and sweat, as all of our desires, hurt, joys and fears radiate outwardly and fill the room.
We’re biting each other’s necks, shoulders, and breasts. We’re exhausting ourselves as quickly as we can. It’s like we wanna burn up in our own firmament....
Meteorites, comets, careening towards earth. Streaks of light, brief, uncontrollable and unpredictable in their trajectories.
You scratch me so hard. I moan loudly, in pain, and then I do it to you just as hard.
(Feel you, opening up. Opening me up….)
We bloom as one. Radiant flowers, by-products of our lovemaking.
Bruised petals, pressed between two thumbs.
“Oh god, Jude, y-you feel so-so fuckin’ good. I-I wanna come with you, baby. W-Wanna come?" I’m gasping, struggling to catch my breath as you work me over effortlessly, just like all those times before….
“W-Wait, calabacita. I-I’m close too. I wanna feel it with you. C’mon, V. Come with me.”
I’m nodding, looking down at our pussies sliding, hitting off each other. Opening up. Fucking you as hard as you’re fucking me.
Watching, as we struggle to maintain our balance. You throw me against the wall and start grinding against me….
Bright red marks run the length of our backs. Like we ran through a thicket of rose bushes. Tiny purple bruises dot our necks. Our eyes, bloodshot, searching....
You pin my arms back and fuck the orgasm out of me. Never letting up, never stopping.
I close my eyes.
We’re ready.
Let’s go.
Come on, Leelou bean.
We both speed up. My back’s sliding, pressing against the tiled wall….
“Fuck! Jude, fuck. I-I’m co—”
“Oh shit. Me-Me tooooooo—”
(….No more words, just touch, emotion and feeling.)
(You and me, Judy Alvarez.)
Time doesn’t exist. Age is meaningless. The past blends with the present and the future so seamlessly, so perfectly, that there's no beginning, no end. Only the here and now.
We acknowledge the universality of our undying, immortal love. This moment, in this hotel bathroom, under a scalding hot shower….
We orgasm together. We don’t know how long it lasts. Remember, time no longer holds sway over us. We don’t think about how much is left, how long or how short. We just feel it inside us. Coursing through us. All that we had. All that we lost. (All that we might share once again?)
We’re holding each other. Crying, yet so full of joy. Something we never thought would happen, has happened.
We’re euphoric. Full of love….
We stagger out of the shower and into the bedroom, where we make love to each other countless times.
Losing track, the sun goes down.
The moon casts its ghostly glow over the Night City skyline.
We laugh, we cry. Argue, scream, yell and kiss....
Our emotions pour out of us. We can’t control ourselves. We can’t stop making love. We don’t wanna stop. We can’t stop.
Don’t wanna.
Uh-uh.
Don’t make us.
We turn our backs on the world, even if it’s only for a night.
This is ours, and no one else’s.
Ours….
And I can barely keep my eyes open, drifting in and out of consciousness. You wrap your arms around me tight, kissing me a hundred different ways. Humming our song. I’m so happy, Judy.
“Sleep, calabacita,” you whisper, running your lips across the back of my neck, holding me just right. Playing with my hair, running your fingers through it….
“Don’t let me go, Jude,” I murmur. “T-Ten years, I w-waited for this moment.” My voice, hoarse from moaning so hard and so long.
“I won’t, baby. I love you, V….”
Soon, I'm asleep, in your arms, dreaming....
Notes:
Next: Bianca's a very intelligent perceptive woman. When it comes to V, does she really believe her wife? It only takes a day or two for things to get a lot more complicated and chaotic. Where does V stand in all of this? Does absence really make the heart grow fonder or just more bitter?
Chapter 11: Maybe Time Will Tell.... (Pt.1)
Summary:
All it took was about twelve hours for Judy Alvarez's world to be turned upside-down. Her marriage is in jeopardy, she's falling for V, and lying to the one woman who's stuck by her side through the good times and bad. In the back of her mind, V knows the end is looming. But she hasn't been this happy in years. She's willing to trade in her stability for a few, short days in the arms of her leelou bean....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….Fuck, my wife keeps texting me. Fuck. What am I gonna do now? V’s sleeping so peacefully. She looks so content. I don’t wanna wake her but if I don’t answer Bianca soon, she’s gonna fucking ping me…..
(What did you do, Judy Alvarez? What the fuck did you do? Almost eleven years, Bianca’s stuck by you. She’s seen you at your worst. Held you, rocked you to sleep after you woke in a cold sweat. Another nightmare about V. She’s been there, by your side, through the happiest days. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones. Your first home together, your first promotion at work. Made you breakfast in bed, laid next to you when you were sick with the nastiest flu. Took your temperature. Fever was 103. Swore she’d love you until the end of time. And you? You swore the same thing….)
Of course you wake up as soon as I move a fraction of an inch.
“W–Where you going, Jude? Come back to bed, gonk. Hold me.”
….Fuck. I have to tell you. Please, please understand things aren’t as easy as they appear to be.
“Calabacita. C-Can I talk to you for a minute?”
You look up at me and you know. You just know what’s coming. You sink back into bed, lift the cover over your head. A second later, I can hear you breathing. It’s labored, stressed, full of fear and anxiety….
“W-W-What?” Your voice is hypnotic. It makes what I’m about to say that much harder.
“V. My wi—. Bianca keeps texting me. I-I have to call her. I should go back to my hotel.”
I can see your outline. You nod and whisper, “Okay. You gonna come back, or is this it?”
“No, no. No, no no. I’m coming back. I-I’ll be right back.”
You pull the sheet down. Your face is red, hair damp and matted.
“Don’t lie to me, Judy. Is this goodbye? Is it?”
You close your eyes and I feel an intense ache in the middle of my chest.
“No, V. No. I promise. I’ll be back as soon as I talk to her.”
You smirk. You don’t believe me. I don’t blame you….
“Okay.”
“Give me your detes. I’ll text you when I’m done.”
“Sure….”
You say the numbers slowly, deliberately. To show you I’m being sincere, I send you a text. The first one since 2077….
“Hey, it’s me. Just gonna run back to my hotel real fast. See you soon.”
“Jude. Do you wanna borrow some clothes?”
“Yes, please. Do you have a pair of underwear too?”
“Mhmm. Purple?” You wink, my favorite color.
“Yessss.”
….Ten minutes later, we’re at the door. You’re still naked, a big comforter wrapped around your body. I’m wearing your shorts, t-shirt, and a preem pair of your purple panties.
You throw the blanket around us both and we stand there kissing, nuzzling. Like we’re a couple again. This is so fucked up. It’s the hardest thing in the world for me to say goodbye and leave you here.
“Jude, don’t rush. Do what you need to and then ping me. I’ll be here, waiting.”
“V, I’m sorry. I don’t wanna leave, it’s just….”
“I know, leelou bean. I know. Be careful.”
“I will. Bye.”
I wanna tell you I love you, but does it really matter? I’m leaving you, and I can see you’re scared I’m not gonna come back.
“Bye, Jude.”
Just as the door’s about to close, I turn and whisper, “Love you, calabacita.”
You light up beautifully, V. So beautiful.
“Love you….” You blow me a kiss and it scares me to death.
The door closes and I’m in the hall walking to the elevator. First thing I do is text my wife.
“Hey, was out getting breakfast. Can I call you in a few minutes?”
Seconds later….
“Yeah. Call me. I’m home. You okay?”
“Yep. I’m good. Bye.”
“Love you, Jude.”
“Love you too, B.”
….Out on the street. It’s crowded. Everything’s moving so fast. Gotta get back to my room. Call Bianca. I feel fuckin’ sick. Sick to my stomach. I spent the last eight hours having sex with V. I’m tired, bitchy, cranky, and sore. I’ve got a million little bite marks and bruises on my neck. Luckily, V went low enough so that I can easily cover them up.
This time, I take a Delamain back. It’s a lot easier, safer.
Looking out the window as the city rolls past, thinking of Pittsburgh. I’ve got five days left until I leave. Five days with V. I don’t know how to feel. Of course there’s a part of me that’s stoked but I already know it’s gonna be pure hell when we have to say goodbye. V lives in Spain but she might as well be on the moon.
Realistically, who knows if we’ll ever get the chance to see one another again….
Honestly? I think this is it. Our last few days. I have other responsibilities, a whole other life back home. I’m sure she does too.
The cab’s pulling up to my hotel when it hits me, like a slap across the face. I actually touch my cheek to see if it stings.
Am I ever gonna see mi calabacita after Friday?
I don’t even realize the Delamain’s waiting for me to get out.
“We’ve reached our destination, Ms. Alvarez. Thank you for choosing Delamain services. Please enjoy your stay in Night City!” A minute later, the pre-recorded message starts all over again. “We’ve reached our destination—”
“Okay, okay.”
….I stagger up to my room, fall onto the bed, and grab hold of V’s shirt. I inhale deeply, smelling her laundry detergent, and thinking of all the times she’s worn this shirt. I’m breathing her in….
I can’t fucking believe I miss her already! Twenty minutes apart, and I wanna hold her in bed. How much time do we have left? Four days? Five?
Nervously, I pull my holo from the front pocket of V’s shorts. I have to ping my wife. Have to talk to Bianca. Eleven years. We’re married. We share a life, a home.
We—
I punch in the numbers.
“Heyyyy, Jude.”
I-I miss you, already.”
“Mmmm, come back, lover. Keep me warm. I’m cold.” V has that pouty, bitchy face. She’s always been the perfect flirt. Plays it like an expert.
“I’m leaving now.”
“Hurry. I wanna make love to you all day.” She smiles, winks.
We hang up. I’m on my way out the door when I hear a tiny voice coming from the farthest corners of my mind.
Judy…. No….
You were never a liar.
Never someone who hid from those uncomfortable conversations.
Ping your wife.
This isn’t you.
But it’s been so long since I’ve held V.
Since I’ve tasted her skin, or smelled underneath her arms.
Why can’t I have her? Why can’t I have her?
We don’t have much time….
Goddammit....
II.
“Hey! Long time no speak, Judee! I was starting to worry. Everything okay?”
“Hey, B. Yeah, yeah. Just ended up helpin’ the girls clean the bar. Getting the building ready to sell. Sorry.”
(My wife watches me. She’s not sure if I’m telling the truth. She wants to believe me. Wants to give me the benefit of the doubt. After all, I’ve never lied to her….)
Until today.
“Awww, how sweet of you. Show me your room. Give me the tour.”
“Okay.”
(Shit, I don’t even know what my room looks like. I've only been here for a few hours. I was with V the rest of the time.)
I’m not thinking as I stroll into the bedroom. The bed’s pristine, untouched. Perfectly made. Uh-oh. Oh shit.
Bianca notices right away. "You made the bed already? Did you even sleep in it? What time is it there? 9:00 am?”
"Room service was here a little while ago.” Shit, I’m scrambling. Lying’s never been my forte.
Bianca’s staring at me. I know what she’s gonna ask.
Here it comes….
“Judee?”
“Yeah?”
“Have you seen V since the party?”
“J-Just, ummm, s-she uhhh, she was at Lizzie’s too. Helping clean up. So, yeah. Just there, ya know?”
“Are you girls spending a lot of time together?”
“N-No, no. Like I said, we helped straighten up the bar but outside of that, no.”
(My neck itches. All the places where she kissed me. I go to scratch it and then stop myself.)
“What are your plans for today?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Probably just do a little sightseeing, shopping. Hang back at the hotel.”
“You still coming home Friday, right?”
“Mhmm.”
We spend the next few minutes talking about boring, mundane shit. I’m already thinking about getting back to Charter Hill.
“Alright, Judee. Call me later, okay? Be careful.”
“Okay. I will.”
“I love you.”
(Different voice, different sound. Pitch is off. Wrong timbre.)
“Love you too, B.”
As soon as we hang up, I throw my dirty clothes on the floor. Brush my teeth, mess up the bed and I’m out the door. It’s like I can’t wait another second.
On cue, my holo pings. I look at the text and smile.
“Ugh, thought you were on your way back. Hurry, I’m lonely. XOXO.”
“I’m on the street. See you in a few. Can’t wait! XOXO.”
….A wave of embarrassment almost knocks me over. I’m acting like I’m 23 and single again. I feel like a fuckin’ gonk. Sending cute texts to V now?
This is bad. This is really, really bad. I’m gonna end up hurting her, aren’t I? Because I have to go back to Pittsburgh. I have to. That’s not even debateable….
But how can I say goodbye?
How can I let her go?
III.
V
(I can’t get out of bed. I’m a bundle of nerves. Waiting for Judy to come back. I’m impatient. It feels like I’m falling in love with her all over again)
….But, but what about Friday? What about flying back to Spain?
Shhh, not now. That’s still so far away. Don’t think about that now. Exist in the moment. I push the panic back down. Then I hear the most delightful sound…. A few soft knocks on the door.
I leap out of bed. I’m still naked, wrap the blanket around me, sprint to the door.
Open it. And I laugh out loud. You’re standing there in my outfit. You look all hot and bothered. Frustrated with the traffic, hmmm?
You rush into my arms, kick the door closed. We fall to the floor, giggling, cuddling, whispering how much we missed one another. Acting like a couple of gonks.
....But there’s a nagging thought.
She’s married. She’s gonna leave you again. Your heart’s about to break. Give it a few days. A few days and you’ll feel the worst kind of pain. And time won’t make it go away.
Nothing will and you’ll hate her for leaving. Your love will turn to hate….
I squash the voice as Judy’s lips press into mine.
I let out a whimper.
We’re rolling around on the floor.
She’s starts going down on me, opening my legs, licking my stomach. Moving lower, lower.... I feel her tongue part my folds. Ah fuck yes!
I close my eyes and kill the terrifying thoughts. Save them for a rainy day….
Notes:
Next: Friday looms and with it, a farewell to their brief, incredible affair. Judy grows more and more unstable. She almost certainly ruined her marriage, and forever destroyed Bianca's trust in her. Three lives will never, ever be the same. Jealousy, hatred, and bitterness take the place of love, warmth, and happiness....
Chapter 12: Maybe Time Will Tell.... (Pt. 2)
Summary:
V acknowledges her role as the other woman. She confronts Judy with a proposition, but is it realistic? An argument erupts between them. It ends with a gentle reminder that maybe sometimes, things just aren't meant to be....
Or are they?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Judy
(....Three days fly by, just like we knew they would. We’re inseparable. We don’t leave one another’s side.)
Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Shopping, walking around the city. Visiting our old haunts. Taking a drive out to the Badlands. A picnic off the old highway….
Most of the time though, we stay in V’s hotel room. We never leave. We shower together, order room service, lie around, have sex, watch movies. I can tell she’s so happy. I am too, it’s just….
Time’s running out. We have a little over 36 hours left before we have to fly home. It was easy to forget those first few days but now it hangs over our heads like a dark, ominous cloud.
Bianca’s been surprisingly laid back, which actually worries me more. It’s almost like she’s disappeared. Her texts trickle in and they’re all very generic and bland. She hasn’t asked about Valerie once and it’s freaking me out.
It’s like she knows everything and she’s just waiting for me to get home. Of course, I don’t mention any of this to V but I think even she's starting to wonder why I’m not talking to my wife more.
(It’s Wednesday night. Rainy, cool. We open the windows. Order dinner and sit in our pj’s eating, laughing, joking. It feels just like old times.)
When we finish, V says, “I’m so happy. I needed this. I forgot how good of friends we were.”
I barely acknowledge her. I’m so preoccupied. I can't focus.
All I see is my wife’s face.
Tears in her eyes, saying over and over, “How could you, Judy? How could you?”
V gets up, walks over and sits in my lap. She nuzzles under my chin and I can hear her making those noises you make when you’re so happy, so overwhelmed with joy, there’s no words to describe how you feel. It’s like she’s cooing, sighing. She sounds so sexy and it hurts.
“You okay?”
“Oh, uhhh, yeah. Yeah, c’mere you.” I pull her close and we start kissing. But I can go no further. Not right now. I’m panicking.
She starts moving her hand between my legs and I hold it in place. V looks up at me and comes crashing back to earth colliding with the reality of our situation….
II.
V
“What’s wrong?” I ask but of course I know what’s wrong. I’m not stupid.
“I’m just freaking out a little. It’s Wednesday night. You know my-my plane leaves at 3:00 pm on Friday.”
“I’m trying as hard as I can not to think about it.” I take a deep breath.
(This is us, trying to figure out how to say goodbye…. For good this time?)
“I know, I know. But we’re gonna, it’s-it’s gonna be r-really hard.”
I lay my head against your chest, trying to listen to your heart.
“Jude. I’m just tired. Tired of this shit. It’s not you. It’s me.”
You gasp. “What shit? Huh?”
“This. All of it. You, sneaking in the bathroom to tell Bianca you love her. Year after fucking year, I’m heartbroken. These past few days have been the happiest since before I went away. But when I really stop and think about it, is that a good thing or a tragedy?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, have I not grown at all? As a woman, a lover? A friend? (Strangely, I think of Sarah, telling me how sad it is that I can’t see what an amazing person I am or all the love I have to give) Look at me. Clinging to these bits and pieces of old memories? It’s fucking embarrassing. I’ve been living in the past for far too long. Holding onto 2077. And look where it got me? Ten years later, and I haven’t really changed a bit. Never really dated, never really lived life. Always waiting for you to come walking back through my door.”
“V, how can you say that? You left NC. You live in Spain, on the other side of the world. You have a good job, your own place. You’re independent. You’ve done so much since you’ve come out of your coma.”
“That’s not what I mean, Judy. I’m talking about us. You, me. I couldn’t let you go. For the longest time, I didn’t want to let you go. But maybe things happen for a reason. Maybe I’ve been looking at things all wrong. These past few days with you have been incredible and-and if we have to say goodbye, go back to our old lives, then at least we can say we went out on a high note, right?”
You look shocked….
“WHAT?”
“Baby, come on. Realistically, you were never gonna leave Bianca for me. We both know that. So what did we hope to accomplish by meeting back here in NC? I’ll tell you. Exactly what we’ve been doing since we left Lizzie's. Trying to fall in love again. Except we're out of time. Judy, you’re having an affair. I’m the other woman now. I was never gonna take her place. Don’t get me wrong, I knew what I was doing, coming out here. You did too. So we made the most of our time. And whatever we have left, let’s make it count. And like I said…. When it— shit, I’m gonna start crying. Fuck, j-just wait, Valerie, ugh! Hold on, hold on. Okay, okay. When it comes time to say goodbye, we’ll always have Night City and this past week. It’s a nova way to-to end things for good, isn’t it?”
I smile at you, but you can’t believe what you’re hearing….
“V what the fuck are you doing? Don’t you dare do this!”
“Do what?”
“Act all fuckin’ indifferent and shit! Like you just wanted to fuck for a couple days! Is that what this is?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
I’m staring at you defiantly, licking my lips. I’m putting you on the defensive.
“It’s so much more than that, Valerie!”
“Oooh, using my real name now? You must be serious.”
“Why are acting all fucking weird and shit? Huh! What’s wrong with you?”
“Me? ME? NOTHING! I’m not the one who’s married, fucking someone else. You are!”
“SHUT UP! You know it’s not like that.”
“Judy. I don’t know shit. Okay? I don’t know a fucking thing except that when Friday rolls around, I'll be just another memory. Were you ever in love with me?"
“V! What the fuck are talking about! Of course! I loved you more than I’d ever loved anyone in my life!”
“Loved?”
“Come on! You know that’s not what I meant!"
(I laugh, bitterly. I’m so sad right now. To have to say goodbye to you. It takes something from me. A part of my soul that I’ll never get back.)
Ironically, I’m still sitting in your lap. I try to stand up but you hold me in place.
“I need a cigarette. C’mon, let me up.”
“I don’t want you to get up yet. Stay in my lap.”
“Okay. Anything for you, Jude. Anything….” I say it with just a tiny, tiny bit of sarcasm.
Here’s where the guilt and regret set in. They thrive in these kinds of moments.
“What are we gonna do, V?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know.”
We’re silent. Then, I decide to say something I probably shouldn’t.
“You could leave your wife. Come back to Spain with me.”
Your eyes almost pop out of your head. You breathe out quickly through your nose. Almost like you’re disgusted I would suggest such a proposition….
“C-Can do that,” you whisper.
“Huh? What? I didn’t hear you.”
“V, I can’t do that.”
“Hmmm, okay. Let me up. Now.” You shake your head no. “Don’t fuck with me, Judy. LET ME UP!”
“No. This is stupid. We’re wasting precious time bitching at each other!”
“Hmph. We wasted a fuckin’ decade and you’re mad about an hour? I swear to god I don’t understand you, Judy Alvarez.”
(You must’ve had a burst of adrenaline, because you shoot up out of the chair, cradling me. You start making your way towards the bedroom. I throw my arms around your neck.)
Yeah, we’re both really, really confused, scared, worried, angry, and completely in love with one another.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you to bed and loving you until the sun comes up. Now shut up, okay?”
I start kissing you, gently, softly. Your skin tastes like cinnamon and vanilla.
“Judy? Is this the end of our story? I’m scared. It is, isn’t it?” I whisper.
“Shhhhhhh, not yet, not yet….”
Notes:
Next: Saying goodbye. Moving on and letting go....
Chapter 13: Maybe Time Will Tell.... (Pt. 3)
Summary:
....Their last full day together. They stay in bed, holding each other. Wondering if this really is the end. If it is, V wants to remember how happy she was. To feel Judy's love again, after so many years. So many sleepless nights and lonely days. They're hanging on by the thinnest of threads.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Thursday
(Valerie)
Our last day and we don’t leave the bed. We hold each other. We don’t have sex. We cry. I hold you. We switch and you hold me. We don’t eat. We don’t sleep. We lie in bed, entwined, like lovers who have no choice but to say goodbye. Outside the hotel room, NC moves as it always has. Indifferent, callous, and uncaring. You and I are dealing with a ton of emotional baggage (I hate that term, but that’s what it is.
“Want me to order breakfast?” I ask. "There's a few bagels left."
“Not hungry,” you whisper. And then almost imperceptibly, you shake your head no.
“Me neither.”
I feel your hands around my waist. You’re so warm in the morning. It’s like your body’s been storing energy throughout the night and now it radiates outwardly.
Close my eyes, smile. How can I explain? I want your love and I need a change.
“V?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you’ll see each other again?”
“I don’t know, Jude. I think the ball’s in your court, if you know what I mean,”
You throw the big, heavy quilt over us and now it’s really warm and dark. We’re facing one another. Our eyes need a few seconds to adjust….
Eventually, your silhouette comes into focus. I reach out with my fingers and run them over the surface of your skin. I need to remember your shape. The contours of your face. The rise of your breasts. The strip of black hair between your legs.
(I need to remember it all for what lies ahead….)
“You already feel so far away from me,” Judy says, as I draw her in.
“Same. What time is it?”
“Who knows. Whatever it is, it’s not enough.”
I yawn, stretch, reach out and grope blindly for my holo on the floor. Somehow I find it, turn it on and check the time.
“It’s 10:32, Jude.”
“A little less than thirty hours now. Just can’t fucking believe it.”
I notice I have a text message.
Sarah....
“Hey! Haven’t heard from you in a few days. That’s good though, right? You flying home tomorrow? Need me to pick you up at the airport?”
“Hi Sarah. Everything’s okay. Tell you all about it when I get back. And yes. I’m flying home tomorrow and yes, I’d love it if you could pick me up. I’ll send the detes a little later on. Talk soon. Bye.”
“Nova. Can’t wait to hear all about it! Bye!”
I’m not really paying attention and then I see you staring at me….
“Who was that?”
“Oh, just a work friend. Sarah. Asked me if I needed a ride home from the airport.”
“A work friend? Why haven’t you mentioned her? Is she married? Is she like, into girls? Guys? How old is she? How long have you known her?”
All of a sudden, you’re jealous? Of a colleague at work?
“I don’t know, Jude. She’s younger. Not married. No kids. I think she’s bi. Like me, I guess.”
“What? Are you two, like together?”
I laugh. “No, oh no, no. She’s a good friend, Jude. That’s it. We never dated, nothing like that. We’re just friends.”
“Mmmm,” is all you say.
You seem a little distant now, which pisses me off.
“Why? Would that be a problem if we were sleeping together?”
“N-No, I don't know. No, of course not. I-I’m sorry. I'm all fucked up, V. Don’t mind me.”
“C’mere.”
I lie flat on the bed, pull you close. I move your legs apart. I want you to sit on top of me.
“W-What are you trying to do here?”
“Straddle me, Jude.”
“Okay.”
You’re on top. Knees bent, one on each side of my waist. We’re holding hands.
“I had a blast, leelou bean. It felt so good. I had a lot of fun.”
(I’m trying as hard as I can to be positive. If these are the last moments with you, I want to remember them with fondness, not sadness.)
You lean forward, resting your body against mine.
“Me too, calabacita. I’m so glad we read each other’s minds and came back to NC.”
….At some point, we fall asleep. It’s still early. Not even noon. Neither of us has any clothes on. Our bodies stick together. It just doesn’t feel the same when I’m next to anyone else. I’m relaxed, at peace. Calm and dazed by all these emotions I hadn’t felt in so long. I drift in and out of consciousness, listening to you snore. I cuddle up close to you….
There’s a part of me that feels so fortunate to have fallen in love with you. I know it doesn’t happen to everyone, so in a sense, I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m really sensitive because I don’t wanna say goodbye. I don’t want you to be married. I don’t want to think of you making love to someone else.
But I meant what I said earlier. If we never see each other again then this past week was a hell of a way to end things. I got a ton of pictures on my holophone. As soon as I get home, I’m gonna develop every single one of them and buy one of those old photo albums. I’m gonna chronicle this trip. I’ll take my time. I’ll be meticulous and thorough.
….And when I’m done?
I’ll have something to look back on. Just so I know it wasn’t all some fantasy in my head. It was real. I felt your love flowing through me again.
Those photographs will keep me going when the bad times show up….
The rainy Monday afternoons, or lonely Saturday nights. Working late, by myself, no one to come home to. No one waiting to jump in my arms and give me a kiss. Moments when I can't stop thinking of you and Bianca, falling asleep on the couch together or celebrating another anniversary.
….Quietly, I get up out of bed for the first time all day. You’re still asleep. I go into the bathroom and look at my reflection in the mirror.
“C’mon, Valerie,” I whisper. “You’re gonna get through this, okay? Don’t let it wreck your life. You’ve spent so much time waiting for her and she came back. Even if it was only for a few days….”
Panic rises, I quash it. Anxiety rears its ugly head, I step on it. Jealousy comes knocking, I don’t answer. The only thing I'm powerless to stop is the sadness I feel….
Next thing I know, you’re here, standing behind me. I love that you followed me....
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Whatcha doing?”
"Oh, ya know. Trying to give myself confidence. Tell myself everything’s gonna be okay.”
“I love you, V.”
“I love you, Judy.”
“Come on. Come back. The bed’s too big without you. Hold me.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Mhmm….”
....First though, we stop off at the kitchen, eat a little something (cinnamon raisin bagels). I make coffee. We laugh. Share a cigarette. I make more coffee. And it feels so organic. It's just us, living and loving together. And I learn to appreciate the simplistic beauty of these exchanges. Sometimes, the normalcy of life is a beautiful space to exist in....
Notes:
Next: V's back in Spain. Judy's home in Pittsburgh, PA. It's hard to fathom how far away they feel from one another's love. Now begins the hard part. Getting back to normal. Living their lives as though nothing's wrong. Judy seems to be having a much harder time adjusting to life without V. Bianca knows something's wrong. But will she be able to confront her wife and learn the truth? Meanwhile, Valerie leans heavily on Sarah's friendship. A little too heavily?
Chapter 14: Maybe Time Will Tell.... (Pt. 4)
Summary:
Saying goodbye, going back to their old lives. It's painful, difficult, and neither of them wants to let go. Judy's the first to delta. V leaves NC soon after. When she arrives back in Spain, Sarah's waiting for her. She's been such a good friend. Not surprisingly, V's really shaken up from her week with Judy. In her confused & lonely state, she ends up doing something she may regret for a long time afterward....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Judy
(Friday afternoon. We’re saying goodbye)
“How long are you gonna be in the air for?”
“Like 16 hours.”
“Awww, V. Fuck, that’s so fucking long.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’d do it again in a heartbeat if I could feel what I felt with you these last few days.”
….We’re at the threshold. Standing by the front door. Your hotel. Neither of us knows how to leave. We’re holding it together, considering the circumstances.
You reach up, fix my hair, smile and say, “You look so good, Jude. God, I fucking miss you already.”
“Feel the same way. Text me as soon as you land?”
“Okay. How long’s your flight?”
“Five hours I think. Not long at all compared to you.”
We embrace. We just got out of the shower, so we smell clean, but it’s not the same. I wanted your pheromones all over me, at least for a little while longer….
“Jude?”
“Uh-huh?”
“If, ummm, if I, o-or we don’t get another chan—”
I put a finger up to your lips. “Shhhhhhh. Don’t say that. We’ll see each other again.”
“You think?”
“I do.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, V. But we will. I promise.”
“You should go. You don’t wanna miss your flight.”
“Well, yeah, I kinda do actually.”
We share a laugh, but you’re right. I gotta delta.
“Bye-bye, leelou bean.”
Fuck, to hear you call me that as I’m about to open the door, tears me up. I can’t help it, I start to get emotional. We both do....
We hug.
One more time.
This is really hard because we don’t even know if, or when, we might get another chance.
“I’ll text you.”
“Judy?”
“Yeah?”
“It was nova, wasn’t it?”
“Fuck yeah, it was.”
This time, I don’t look back. I close the door gently and stumble to the elevator in a haze. I’m shaky. I was okay up until now. My hands won’t work, as I try to hit the correct buttons.
Standing there, waiting, and it feels like torture….
“C’mon, c’mon. Hurry up,” I beg and then I stop.
I have to go and hug you once more.
I have to!
I swing around and you’re standing there, with a smile on your face.
We collide into one another with force, squeezing as tight as we can.
“Love you, calabacita. Bye.”
“Mmmm, Judy Alvarez. Bye. Love you.”
Just as I lay my head on your shoulder, we hear the ding of the elevator coming to a stop. The doors slide open.
I get in….
We stare at each other, as they slowly close.
The last image I have of you is perfect.
Perfect!
You blow me a kiss.
Did I catch it?
II.
Valerie
….The doors close and I’m already jogging back to my room. I’m so fucked up right now. Scramble back inside, slam the door shut as hard as I can.
“FUCK!” I scream into the now empty room. “FUCK! IT WASN’T ENOUGH TIME! Wasn’t enough time….”
Frantically, like I’m young again and we just met, I grab my holo and text you. Part of me feels pathetic. Another part, embarrassed.
“Hey. Did you remember everything?” I don’t know what else to say.
“Hi. Yes. Lol. Was just gonna text you and ask if I forgot anything.”
“Hehe.”
“Ha!”
“Bye, baby.”
“Bye….”
I throw my holophone against the couch cushion. It bounces off and lands on the carpeted floor with a plunk.
….For the next hour, I wander around like a fuckin’ zombie. I don’t know whether I’m comin’ or goin’. I start packing, even though my flight doesn’t leave until 6 pm tonight. Arranging things a thousand different ways in the suitcase.
Taking them out, putting them back in. Taking them out, etc. etc. etc.
I know I should probably eat something but my appetite is non-existent. Every few seconds, I think about texting you again.
But no. No, that’s enough. This isn’t 2077 and you’re married. Things are different.
“Let her go,” I whisper, over and over, like a mantra to protect myself from the sadness that’s constantly looming. “Let her go, let her go….” But in the middle of the room, I stop. It hits me. “I-I don’t wanna let her go. I’m not ready.”
An urge, so powerful I nearly listen, comes over me. To chase after Judy. To run as fast as I can through the streets and avenues. Running. My lungs, gasping for air. Running until I find her.
I sit down. I stand up. Walk in circles, walk back and forth. Light a cigarette. Put it out after two drags. Light it again, take one drag, put it out.
I feel so alone without her.
Without her touch, her body next to mine.
The feel of her lips on my stomach, or her hands brushing past my skin.
I stagger to the balcony. Slide open the doors. Look out over the skyline….
Am I ever gonna touch you again?
III.
(A day later. V, landing in Spain)
….Judy’s been home for a while. She texted me as soon as she landed. Promised to stay in touch. Time will tell, I guess. Meanwhile, Sarah’s here, waiting for me. She messaged me earlier.
God, the flight home fucking sucked. It literally felt like we were in the air for a fucking week. I’m so glad to be on the ground. Towards the end, it really felt like I was losing my mind, that I was going crazy.
….I’m standing there, waiting for my luggage, when my phone pings.
Excited, I pull it from my pocket but when I look down, my heart sinks.
It’s a fucking auto-generated message asking if I’d like to complete a brief survey about my stay at the hotel.
Huh? What the fuck?
I guess it’s back to reality already. Work in two days. I put the phone back in my pocket and click my tongue in disgust.
A second later, I pull it back out and ping Sarah….
“V! Where are you?”
“Waiting for my luggage. Where are you?”
“At the entrance to the terminal. Gate 42M, right?”
“Right. Oh, wait. I see my suitcase. Gotta go. I’ll see you in a few minutes, Sar. Bye!”
“Bye, V!”
….Walking back to my old life. Thinking of Judy, missing her. Wondering what she’s doing right now. Thinking of all the times we made love. How good it felt to be in her arms, loving her again….
In the distance, I see Sarah waiting impatiently. Looking left and right. Finally, she spots me and smiles.
She really is cute. So much energy. Brash, confident, so self-assured….
“V!!!!”
She runs towards me like we hadn’t seen each other in years. When she’s close, Sarah throws her arms around me and hugs me so tight.
She smells so good. I love the perfume she’s got on….
“Hi, Sar. How are you?”
“Oh, V! I missed you! How was it?”
I hold her hands. “Later,” I whisper. “I’m so tired. I’ll tell you all about it later.”
“Okay, okay. Yeah, you’re right. You probably just wanna delta, and go to sleep.”
I nod and wink, but then she winks back, and I find myself flushing. “C’mon. Where did you park?”
….We make our way to the parking lot and her car. I throw my suitcase in the trunk and hop in. We’re about twenty minutes away from my place.
“How was the flight?”
“Sucked. 16 fucking hours. So glad to be home.”
Sarah smiles. “I’m glad you’re back.”
I look over at her and say, “Thanks.”
When we reach my place, It starts hitting me all at once. The trip really is over. Judy’s gone. Back in Pittsburgh. I’m on the other side of the world. It’s all just a blur now….
“V? What’s wrong? What is it?”
I look down. “It was hard. Seeing her. All these feelings came rushing back. She’s married. Been married for over ten years. It was a lot. A-And now that I’m home, it’s sinking in. It’s all over.” I realize I’m crying a little, sniffling, trying to smile, feeling ashamed by my inability to control my impulsive reactions….
“Hey, hey, hey.” Sarah reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You got to see her again, right? Spend time together. Catch up. That’s a good thing, V. Focus on the good. The positive memories, right? Don’t dwell in the negative. I bet you had a preem time.”
I look over at this girl who’s become such a good friend. Someone who always tries to cheer me up. Always has a smile on her face and I can’t figure out why she gravitates to me. What does she see in me that I don’t see in myself?
(Once a friendship crosses over into intimacy, it's never, ever the same afterward.)
I think I’m so lonely from saying goodbye to Judy and dealing with the chaos of this past week that I say something I may end up regretting....
“Wanna come up? I’ll make a pot of coffee? I just don’t wanna be alone right now.” Sarah stares at me like she doesn’t understand what I’m really asking. What am I really asking? I don’t even know myself. She doesn’t answer and I feel self-conscious. “Nevermind. I-I just thou—”
She cuts me off. “I’d love to,” she whispers….
Notes:
Next: As V & Sarah's bond deepens, Judy's marriage is in turmoil. Bianca suspects her wife was unfaithful but she has no proof. A confrontation ensues. Will the truth come out? Meanwhile, Judy notices a subtle difference in V. She's become distant, like she's trying to detach herself from her feelings. But is it something more than that? Something that will leave Judy Alvarez confused and devastated?
Chapter 15: Disintegration
Summary:
Even though Judy Alvarez has only been back in Pittsburgh for a day and a half, she can sense that something's terribly wrong with Bianca. They haven't so much as held hands or embraced once. Finally, Judy decides to confront her wife. Can a marriage survive once trust is destroyed? There's a storm coming. Dark, dark clouds loom on the horizon....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Judy/Bianca
Pittsburgh
(Things have been awkward from the moment I set foot back inside my house.)
….I feel like Bianca knows. She’s different. I can tell. When I first came back. She didn’t hug me, didn’t really show much enthusiasm at all. She was pleasant, cordial, but there was no physical interaction between us at all. None.
It’s only been a day and a half but she’s mostly kept to herself. Another thing I thought was weird was that she hasn’t asked me once how the trip went. Nothing. Not one question about Lizzie’s, me being back in Night City. Nada….
And the unnerving thing is she hasn’t brought up V at all. That really has me on edge.
The few times I’ve tried to hold or hug her, she tenses and becomes all rigid. She smiles awkwardly and then excuses herself.
The worst was when it was time for bed. I could tell she didn’t want to lie down together. She stayed up until she knew I was asleep. And she was up out of bed before I even opened my eyes the next morning.
I’m starting to freak out. Does she know I had an affair?
Is that what I’m calling it now? Is that all V is to me? Was she right?
….It’s early in the morning. I’m making coffee in the kitchen. Bianca’s out on the back porch, looking at her phone. She hasn’t said hello or good morning. She’s so quiet, it’s hard for me to even tell she’s here.
What the fuck am I gonna do? Confront her? Ask her what’s wrong? What would I say if she asked me about V?
I can’t tell her the truth, can I?
It would fucking kill her.
She would hate me forever.
But how long can I live this lie?
I decide to join her out back….
“Hey, B. Morning. I made you a coffee.”
“Ummm, thanks but I already had mine earlier. I’m still finishing this one." She lifts the cup up to show me and smiles but it’s a cold, distant, smirk. A second later, she goes back to her phone, ignoring me again....
“Can I sit down, Bianca?”
“Sure.”
We remain in silence. It becomes intolerable. I know she knows. I can feel it in my heart. She knows I’ve been unfaithful. She’s just trying to work up the nerve to ask.
“You okay, B?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Why?”
“Nothing, it’s just. I-I don’t know. Ever since I got home, it’s been, I mean, has it been weird? Is it me?”
“What are you talking about, Judy?”
“Just like, we haven’t hugged or kissed once. I thought you’d be happy that I’m back home.” You look up from your phone and stare at me. It’s unsettling and I shiver. It’s piercing. You won’t say anything. You just keep staring at me…. “What? Why aren’t you talking? Bianca, what’s wrong?”
You close your eyes and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Literally sick, like I’m gonna throw up.
“What happened?” You whisper it so low, I almost don’t hear you. “What happened, Judy?”
“Huh? What do you mean? When? I don’t understand.”
You put your holophone away and lock eyes with me. It’s so intense, I have to turn away.
“Eleven years,” you say, softly, full of sadness. “Eleven years….”
“Bianca. What the hell is going on? I’m so confused. What’s up?” I’m playing dumb, but it’s like I said before. I’m a terrible liar….
“What happened on your trip, Judy?”
“Nothing! I–I told you. I helped clean the club up with the rest of the girls, saw the city. Did some shopping. Hung out at my hotel. That’s it.”
You reach for my hand. This is the first time we’ve touched since I got home.
“You’re lying, Judee. I can tell. You’re fidgeting, you won’t look at me. Your breathing changes. Tell me about V….”
And there it is. You say her name out loud and it scares the fuck out of me.
“What do you mean? W-What do you wanna know?”
“Judy. I’m your wife. Don’t you think you owe me the truth? What happened between you and V?”
I stand up. I feel like I’m having a panic attack. “Nothing! Nothing happened! I already told you! Jesus Christ! Nothing!” I can’t take it. I run back inside the house, upstairs in the bathroom, slam the door shut, lock the door and sit there in the darkness, crying….
(She knows! She fucking knows! Oh my god. This is awful! Awful!)
….There’s a soft knock, and then another. Two taps.
“Come in.”
You turn on the light. Sit on the lip of the tub.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Judee. Talk to me. Tell me what happened. Please. I’m giving you a chance to be honest. Don’t take that for granted. One day, there won’t be any chances left. Talk to me, baby. Tell me what happened.”
I’m breathing fast, almost panting. I can’t keep lying, can I? You already know everything, don't you? Fuck, I-I can’t do this. I feel like I’m gonna have a heart attack. Like I’m drowning.
“I love you, Bianca.”
“I love you too. You’ve been my wife for a long, long time. You’ve never lied to me once. Don’t start now.”
“Oh fuck. I-I…. Fuck. We. Okay. We ummm, we saw each other."
Bianca stiffens. The atmosphere immediately changes. Dark clouds settle in. The waters turn rough, choppy.
“What does that mean?”
“It-It means…. It’s…. Well, we kissed. Only once. Right before she left to fly home."
I can’t do it. I can’t tell you. I can’t. I can’t. I’m such a fucking coward!
“Judee. Come on, baby. What else happened? Stop lying to me.”
I can’t-I can’t lie to my wife.
I take a deep, deep breath. “Bianca, listen. I-I never meant to hurt you. Things just got out of hand so fast.”
We both stand up. You watch me. There’s a look of bitterness and anger in your eyes.
Lightning fast, you slap me hard across the face. I wince and cower. It’s not the physical pain that stings. It’s the fact that I took your love for granted. That I threw away all the preem memories and moments we shared....
“Fucking whore,” Bianca whispers, full of malice. She’s seething. It’s like there’s smoke coming off the top of her head. “H-How was she?”
I’m shaking my head back and forth. “Bianca pl—”
You start hitting me as hard as you can. Slapping, punching. I stand there and take it. I deserve it all and probably more.
“How was she, Judee? Huh?” You spit the questions at me with venom. Slapping me after every one. “How could you fuckin’ do this to us? How? What did you do? I’m your wife. Fuckin’....”
“Please, baby. I-I’m so sorry. It was a mistake. A-A fucking mistake.”
My words upset you even more.
“Did you fuck her? Hmmm? D-Did she suck on your— Oh god! Judy, we’re married! Huh? How was it? Answer me. Fuckin’ coward. Fuckin’ piece of shit coward.”
In mere moments, things have gotten so out of hand. I start running blindly through the house, trying to find my keys and get out. You stay on the floor, in the bathroom, crying. Over and over, nonstop. It’s torture. Absolute torture.
I can’t even see straight. My eyes are burning. I’m a wreck.
I fucking knew this was gonna happen. I knew it. I’m not even home for two days and my marriage is already falling apart, I’m missing V terribly, and I don’t know what the fuck’s going on.
You come running down the steps, hysterical.
We look at each other. You smile, but it breaks my heart. You walk over to me, and run a hand through my hair….
“I’m never gonna trust you again. Now you tell me, how can two people maintain a marriage when there’s no trust? The answer is, they can’t.”
“Bianca, Jesus, w-what are you saying? Baby, please I-I fucked up. It was a mistake. It was one time. I love you. What are you saying?”
You’re so gentle, but it belies the hatred in your heart.
“You love me? How can you stand there with a straight face and say you love me? I hate to break it to you, Judy, but fucking someone behind my back is not love.” You shake your head. “I’ll never trust you again. It’s over. This marriage is over….”
“NO!!!! No, no, Bianca! Please-Please, baby, you don’t mean that. Take it back. You don't know what you're saying. Please. I don’t love V. I don’t. It was a fling, a-a mistake. I don’t even care about her! Please, don’t say it’s over. Please, I-I’m begging you. Is that what you want? Want me to beg?”
(I’m so pathetic! Completely disgusted by my behavior. It’s sickening. Mi abuela didn’t raise me to be a sniveling coward, but here I am, telling my wife V means nothing. It’s like I can’t stop lying. To myself, to her, and even Valerie too.)
Bianca stares at me like she’s just lost all respect for the woman I've become....
“Okay. You know what? Call V. Now. Call her in front of me and tell her everything you just told me. That it was a fling, a mistake, t-that you don’t love her. Go ahead.”
Oh fuck. Fuck, I can’t do that. I-I won’t. How can I say those things to her? It would kill her. She would never want to have anything to do with me again.
I stand as still as a statue. My feet are glued to the floor.
Bianca crosses her arms, taps her foot….
“Well? COME ON!” She screams. “CALL HER! NOW! TELL HER YOU DON’T LOVE HER!”
“Baby, what good would th-"
“FUCKIN’ HATE YOU!” Bianca charges and starts hitting me again. I gotta get out of the house. This is getting bad. One of us is gonna get hurt….
I start running, covering myself while you keep punching me. I find my keys and head for the front door.
“Where are you going? Huh? Fucking coward? Where ya gonna go, Judy? You killed us, baby. F-Fucking killed us. We’re dead, baby. Dead…. Hope she was worth it. I really do. Get out. Get the fuck out!”
I run outside in the warm summer air. It’s so beautiful outside but my marriage is disintegrating right before my very eyes. It's like I'm a bystander, watching it unravel from afar. Powerless to stop it. Bianca stands at the top of the steps, tears streaming down her face.
“ELEVEN YEARS!” She’s calls out to me, as I reach the car and open the door.
I can barely put the key in the ignition. My fingers won’t work, hands won’t stop shaking. I realize I’m practically weeping.
As I peel away from the curb, Bianca’s taunts are salt in my wounds….
"Hope she was worth it. I really do…."
Notes:
Next: Judy's life is spiraling further and further out of control, while V's seems to be getting better and better. Sarah's been there for Valerie very step of the way. She proves to be a good friend and an even better listener as V struggles to come to terms with what her relationship to Judy really means. Sarah challenges V to look deep within herself for the answers....
Chapter 16: Ways & Means
Summary:
V makes a split-second decision that could end up having serious repercussions for a long, long time to come. Sarah, her friend and colleague from work hasn't left her side once since she got back from NC. V is struggling with so many conflicting emotions: Loneliness, sadness, jealousy, resentment. Everything points to Judy. Sarah does her best to help. Naturally, they grow closer and closer. Eventually, there's a moment when she either has to take a step back or rush forward, blindly, unafraid of what may happen next....
Which will V choose?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Valerie in Spain
(Sarah’s been amazing. Such a good, good friend. She’s exactly the kind of person I need right now. Someone who would listen and not judge. Someone to understand the immense pain of saying goodbye to Judy. I’ve been back home for two days and she’s stayed with me ever since. She hasn’t left my side once….)
….She’s been crashing on the couch. We wake up at the same time. I make breakfast and coffee. We talk (well, I do most of the talking) and she’s so patient. Never interrupts or makes me feel stupid.
All I do is talk about Jude. It’s gotta be frustrating for her. I’m like a broken record. But she’s always there with soothing words, the soft touch of her hand, a smile. She doesn’t realize how much this means to me. To be able to share my feelings and emotions with another human being….
I’ve been completely transparent with her. Told her Jude and I spent most of our time in bed. She blushed but it wasn’t awkward. I sometimes forget that I’m older than her because her maturity level is so high. She’s extremely intelligent and understanding.
Another thing is, I don’t feel uncomfortable at all crying in front of her.
All in all, she’s been perfect.
But….
I’m afraid we’re getting dangerously close to crossing over the line from friendship to intimacy….
A few times we almost kissed. It was awkward because I know she wants it. I can feel her energy. And in my current state of vulnerability, I’m wanting it more and more too….
II.
….Sunday morning arrives, overcast, drizzly, and cool. Grey clouds litter the skies overhead.
I wake up in bed and almost start shivering. I left the window open all night long. Fresh, clean, chilly air fills the spaces before me.
I yawn, stretch, and suddenly remember I have to go back to work the next day.
“Awww, shit,” I groan and then in the doorway, I see Sarah standing there, wearing a pair of my boxer shorts, and a white tank top. And I have to admit, she looks sexy as hell. All tired, groggy, dreamy, and dazed. Her straight bob hairstyle is all messy but that only makes her look more alluring. I can't help it. I feel hot between my legs. Flushed, like she can sense I'm horny….
“Morning sleepyhead,” she says with a smile on her face. “I made coffee. There’s muffins too. Blueberry and cranberry….
I stretch again, loudly. My voice is especially raspy and hoarse and when I whisper, “Mmmm, nova. Thanks,” I quickly put a hand over my mouth, embarrassed by the frog in my throat….
Sarah grins and stands there for a moment more, staring at me. Subtly, she bites her bottom lip, as I stare back.
And then, she shakes herself free from the fantasy of crawling into bed with me, and says, “Which one of us do you want?”
(Which one of you do I want? Huh? Which one? Which?)
“H-Huh? W-What did you just ask me?” I'm a little out of it….
Sarah laughs. “Awww, you’re still half-asleep. I asked, which one do you want? The muffins? Blueberry, cranberry?”
“O-Oh, right, right. Sorry. I didn’t hear you.” I smirk awkwardly.
“Gonk. What did you think I said?”
“N-Nothing. That, I guess. Nothing. Ummm, blueberry, pleeeaseee.”
“Coming right up.”
As she turns to leave, I call out, “Sar?”
She spins around. “Mmmm?”
“Thank you. For everything. Listening, being a good friend. Riding this emotional roller coaster with me. I mean it. Thank you.”
“Awww, V. You don’t have to thank me. I just want you to see what an incredible person you are. Judy should be so lucky to have you in her life. I know it’s easier said than done because she’s married but still, you’re such a unique, sensitive, smart, sexy woman….”
Her words affect me deeply. I must look surprised by her candor because she shrugs her shoulders and nods, letting me know she meant every word of what she’s just said….
She disappears into the kitchen and my thoughts return to Judy….
Did she and Bianca make love yet? Did they orgasm together? Holding hands and crying out each other’s names? Did they shower and stay under the water until their skin was all dry and wrinkly?
Did they whisper, “I love you?” under so many blankets and sheets?
(Because that’s what we did, leelou bean? Remember? You looked into my eyes and told me how much you still loved me? Are you saying those same things to your wife now?)
I’m trying so hard not to get upset but I’m weak. I lay my arm over my face, and the tears inevitably come. I’m trying to be quiet because I don’t want Sarah to hear me….
But a minute later, she comes back and sees me in pain. She walks over and sits on the edge of the bed.
“V, what is it? What’s wrong?”
I sniffle loudly. “Oh nothing. J-Just me, fuckin’ feeling sorry for myself again.”
Very gently, she moves my arm away from my face.
“Shhh, so what if you are? Feeling sorry for yourself. So what? You’ve been through so much with her this past week. Let yourself feel. Let it out. It’s okay. It’s-It’s….”
Sarah stops as our eyes meet….
(I’m looking up at you, feel your fingers moving through my hair. Can you tell my heart's beating so fast? Go ahead. Make a move....)
Tenderly, you lean forward and kiss me perfectly on the mouth. Slow, yet brief. Our lips stick together. My adrenaline skyrockets. I pull you close, kiss you again. We both whimper in delight. I can feel the curve of your breasts pressing against me. Are your nipples hard already?
(This is bad, V. This is bad. She’s a good friend. Don’t cross that line. There’s no going back once you do. But what about Judy? Why does she get to have it both ways? Make love to me, fly home and do the same thing to Bianca? How is that fair?)
We stop….
This is one of those moments I'll look back on and think, “If only…. If only…."
I lift the blanket and pull you in. I’m fucked up. A little lonely, a little scared. Mad at Judy, attracted to Sarah. My hormones are all over the place. Am I getting my period soon? I think I am.
You cuddle up close to me, kissing me and I lose myself in the moment. I’m only human. I make mistakes all the time. You’re a good friend Sarah but right now, I want more of you. I want to taste you, smell you. Touch you, hold you….
(I’m sorry, Jude…. Can you forgive me? But wait, you’re the one who’s married. Why do I always, always feel this guilt about betraying you?)
“V?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want this?”
“Do you?”
“Yes, in the worst way. But we’re such close friends. What’s gonna happen to that friendship once we have sex?"
“I don’t know. What I do know is that I want to make love to you. Is that wrong?”
“N-No, V. It’s not wrong. I want that too. Come on. I’ve been waiting a long time for you….”
….We take off our clothes and start rubbing, grinding. Somehow, I’ve ended up on top. We’re moaning. Your legs are open, I’m on the inside. Your breasts are firm, immaculate. I suck hard on your nipples, biting them, flicking them with my tongue. Our pussies hit, collide. We cry out. I can tell you’re so wet. Can feel your come on my belly button and smell the pungent tang of sex in the air. We speed up. Faster, faster.
“Oh V. Oh god, y-you feel so fucking good. Don’t stop. Fuck, don’t stop. I’m gonna come. I-I can’t hold it.”
“Not yet, Sarah. Not yet, baby. Wait….”
“Neughhh! I-I can’t! Ugh! Ugh! I’m coming! V, I’m sorry, I’m coming so fucking hard! Keep m-m, ahhh! Shit!”
I’m a little disappointed because I think you’re done, but you have so much energy, so much stamina. As soon as you finish, you push me over to the side and go down on me. Licking me so deep, finding my clit, spinning it with your tongue. You don’t let up. I have no time to get my bearings. That’s just how I like it.
The moment I'm about to erupt, you come up for air, kissing me harshly, but your fingers take over. You’re wonderful….
(In the bedroom, you’re completely different than you are on the outside world! So strong, firm. Completely in control. You’re the dominant one? Already? And I’m the submissive one? It happened that fast? Okay, okay!)
….You’re handling me with ease. Got me eating out of the palm of your hand that fast, huh?
“S-Sarah. Don’t fucking stop. Mmph, mmph, uh-huh, uh-huh….”
“That’s it, V. Good girl. Oh yeah. Good girl. Come for me. C’mon! Come!”
I feel one of your fingers pushing up my butt. I bite my hand as you go back down on me. Your fingers and thumb, working all the angles….
“I’m coming,” I whisper, out of my mind, euphoric from the perfect rush and pressure of your finger moving in and out of my ass. “I-I’m coming, ahhhhhhh, shit, shit….”
My orgasm fills me with such divine energy and my body responds in kind. I thrust, buck, and arch; crashing down on the mattress with such force, that I bounce up and down….
As soon as I finish, you revert back to your gentle, tender self. You hold me close, kissing me everywhere, softly sucking on my neck, arms, and shoulders, leaving tiny trails of saliva all over me.
It feels so unbelievably good….
But then, like clockwork, the inevitable remorse. Echoes of Judy and the beautiful moments the two of us shared this past week.
The comedown happens rather quickly, and a minute later, I find myself in tears.
“Hey, V? What’s wrong, girl? Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
I grab the back of your leg, squeeze and shake my head no. Every second, I get more and more upset.
“N-No, it’s n-not you. I’m sorry. I’m j-just going through a lot right now, Sarah. Please, be patient with me.”
“Awww, of course. Is it Judy?”
This time, I nod yes….
“I feel guilty, ya know? A-And it’s so fucking stupid! It’s stupid! She’s married and I still feel terrible, like I betrayed her. That’s why it’s always been so hard for me to start dating.”
You don’t say anything. You just hold me tight, rocking me back and forth, touching your lips to my damp body.
“No pressure, V. I mean it. I’m here, in whatever capacity you need me to be, o-okay?”
I turn over so that we face one another. I touch your cheek with my thumb….
“Thank you, Sarah. You always make me feel good."
I draw you in. We spend the rest of the gloomy Sunday lying in bed, holding one another. We make love several more times. I'm so sore and achy. Between Judy and Sarah, I'm burning the candle at both ends....
….Finally, I drift off to sleep. Content, relaxed, but still so vulnerable, sensitive.
I think of Jude. I wonder what she’s doing right now? Is she in bed with Bianca?
Damn.... Night City feels so far away. A distant memory. Long gone days....
Notes:
Next: V & Judy speak. It's awkward, difficult, and confusing. Judy isn't clear about her intentions. Does she want to save her marriage? Does she really see V as an affair? Is there a way forward for their relationship to grow and flourish? Or is it too late to get back what they once had? Subtly, Sarah starts to play a more dominant role....
Chapter 17: Slipping Through My Fingers (Pt. 1)
Summary:
Judy and Bianca are separated. Jude's been staying at a hotel. She's confused, lonely and missing her calabacita more than anything in the world. But V's crossed a line with her work friend and colleague, Sarah. Now everything's in turmoil and Judy doesn't know what to do. She finally works up the nerve to ping V in Spain. Their conversation quickly devolves before Judy commits a blunder that sets V off. She goes on to pour her heart and soul out, confessing she's still not over their disastrous convo from 2079, when Judy basically turned her back on V forever....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Judy. Pittsburgh, PA
(Ten days since arriving back from Night City)
….Pure hell.
That’s what my life’s been like this past week.
Pure fucking hell.
I’ve been staying at a hotel. Bianca alternates between hating my guts, and suffering from extreme depression. We fight over the holo. It’s awful. The things we say to each other. Cruel, hurtful, nasty things.
Every time she threatens divorce, I beg her not to.
(Is it because I really do love her or is it because I’m so terrified of being alone that I’d rather spend the rest of my life with someone other than V?)
I honestly don’t know anymore. I know I've been married to Bianca for a long time, but that a piece of my heart will forever belong to V....
I think of mi calabacita almost every second of every day. We haven’t spoken since I got home. She hasn’t reached out once. Neither have I. I’m scared she’s with that girl who texted her when we were back in NC.
What was her name again?
Samantha? Sandy? Serina?
Oh yeah, Sarah. That’s it. I’m afraid they’re together now. V, bonding with her over the pain of saying goodbye to me. I have a feeling that’s probably what happened.
A friendship turning into something more.
Awww, fuck.
I decide to give V a call. I need to talk to her. I need to see her. Even if she's just a tiny image projected from the holophone.
I’m sitting on the bed in my cheap, crummy hotel room. It’s nothing like what I had back in NC.
My stomach’s doing backflips. I keep licking my lips.
Well, here goes nothin’....
She answers on the fifth ping.
“Jude. Hey. Hey, how are you?”
“Terrible, V! Awful!” I lose it within thirty seconds of hearing her voice. It tears me up, rips me apart. Her voice is my favorite sound in the whole world. It’s music to my ears.
“Why? W-What’s wrong?”
“Everything! Can you talk?”
“Uhhh, yeah, s-sure. Uh-huh. What’s up?”
(That response was kinda weird, but whatever)
I proceed to tell her everything, but in my current state, I fuck up and inadvertently end up telling her too much. And it backfires royally….
“Bianca confronted me the day after I got home.”
“Shit. What did you say?”
“I was so fucked up. I didn’t want to make things worse, ya know. First I told her we kissed. Once, before you left.”
“Okayyyy? And?”
“Of course she didn’t fuckin’ buy it. So she pressed and pressed. Finally, I admitted I had an affair with you….”
(Oh fuck…. As soon as the word leaves my lips, I gasp. V stares at me, evenly. Her eyes narrow. She sighs, like she can’t believe that’s what I called our time together.)
“Oh…. Jeez. An affair, huh? Ooof. Jude, god that hurt….”
“V, c’mon. You know that’s not what I meant. It-It just came out that way. That’s not what I think at all. You know that.”
“What else did you tell her? Let me guess. T-That it was a mistake, right? Right, Judy? That it was a mistake and that you didn’t really mean it. Look in my eyes and you tell me that’s not what you said.”
(She’s got me nailed to the wall. I can’t believe this convo’s devolved so quickly!)
“Baby. I’m going through so much right now. I mean, what do you want me to say?”
“Am I? A mistake? An affair? Am I, Jude? Was what we shared in NC a mistake too?”
“No. Absolutely not. No.”
“What else happened? Tell me the truth. Did you two make up?”
“No! No, s-she said she wanted a divorce.”
“What did you say?”
(I trip over myself. I say too much. I didn’t think things through before I pinged her, now it’s awkward as fuck and I don’t know how to get out of this hole I dug myself into)
“I-I, well…. I said, just that well, that we should-should, you know….”
“No. I don’t know. What did you say? Did you tell her no? That you should talk about it? That you should wait before making that kind of decision?”
It’s like you were in the room with us when we were arguing. Your intuition’s spot-on.
“V…. I was confused, scared. I didn’t want to make her more upset.”
“So you lied, or what?”
“I’ve been staying at a hotel for Christ’s sake!”
You give me a look like, what the fuck does that have to do with anything?
“Yeah? Judy, It feels like I understand less about your situation than I did before you called. Why don’t you spell it out for me. What. Is. Going. On. Between. You two?”
“We’re taking time apart. Figuring things out.”
“Taking time apart, figuring things out. What did you call me for?”
“What?”
“No seriously. Did you call to tell me you’re working on your marriage after you had an AFFAIR with me? I mean, why bother?”
“I called to see how you are. And to tell you I miss you. It’s been almost two weeks since we talked. I miss you, V.”
“Yeah. Just not enough to do anything about it, right? What happens if Bianca forgives you? Says, let’s give it another chance?”
….I look away, embarrassed by my fear. My fear of being alone, of being unloved.
“I don’t know,” I whisper, my voice, broken and hollow. You stare at my image….
“Well, good luck. Hope it all works out for you.”
“V, please wait. I-I’m trying to put my life back together. I thought you of all people could empathize with what I’m going through.”
“Do you remember the things we said ten days ago? About how much we missed and loved each other. How sad we were to have to say goodbye?”
(….At that moment, I hear a voice in the background. A woman…. Younger.)
“V! Come on, girl! We’re gonna be late!”
I freeze. My blood runs cold. I was right. I was exactly fucking right. I shoot you a look but you’re just staring defiantly back at me. A look of anger and sadness on your face.
“Who’s that?”
“Her name’s Sarah.”
Sarah.... Right. My legs turn to jelly and I nearly collapse. Bitch couldn't wait, could she?
“What’s up?” I can barely speak, I’m so messed up.
“She’s been helping me navigate through all my fucked feelings and emotions lately. This convo is a perfect fucking example of why I feel so happy one second and devastated the next.”
I stare at V’s image. “Helping you navigate through all your fucked up feelings, huh? Yeah, I bet.”
“Excuse me?”
“Are you sleeping with her?”
“Judy. What the fuck is this? When we were lying in bed, in my hotel room. You looked into my eyes and asked if we’d ever see each other again. Remember what I said?”
I nod slowly. “You said the ball’s in your court.”
“Well?”
“V, I was just looking for a little compassion, understanding. We haven’t talked in a while, and-and I needed a friend….”
For the first time, you soften, and I catch a glimpse of the old you.
"Y-You're right. I’m sorry, Jude. I’m going through a lot right now too. I’m so up and down. Just feel really vulnerable. I’m confused about me, ‘bout us, about a lot of things.”
“I’m stuck back in Night City, calabacita.”
“M-Me too. Me too.”
V takes a deep, measured breath and says, “Maybe you need to figure out where your marriage stands before you and I talk again.”
I panic. That’s not at all what I thought I'd hear coming from you!
“Why? V, why?”
“It just seems like your relationship with Bianca needs some kind of resolution. One way or another, right?”
“Are you and that Sarah girl together?”
“No. No, it’s not like that.”
“Are you sleeping with her?”
“Judy….”
“Just answer, V.”
….At that moment I hear the girl again. Her voice is high-pitched, energetic.
“V! You’re not even dressed! What are you doing?”
She’s out of the frame but you turn, look in her direction and put your finger up.
“Give me a sec, Sar. Talking to Judy. Be right out.”
I hear her gasp. “Oh shit. I’m sorry.” You smile uncomfortably.
Now it’s awkward as fuck and I’m so pissed off at you.
"What is she still in high school?"
“Will you stop it? She’s 24.”
“Wow. And you’re fuckin’ her?”
“Judy. Can I try to explain something to you?”
(Then I use a word in jest and it turns out to be a terrible mistake.)
“Fuck it. Why not? My life’s already fallin’ apart. What is it? Wait, let me guess. You two were meant to be together. She’s your soulmate?”
Your mouth hangs open in a kind of stunned sadness. You let out a painful moan, like I just stabbed you in the chest with a knife....
“Fuck you," V whispers and I see tears rolling down her cheeks. “Fuck you, Judy Alvarez. I was so in love with you, so in love. You were my whole world. My life. M-My fuckin’ universe. Ya know, I-I still haven’t processed the pain of losing you back in 2077? Do you know how many dates I went on, in ten years?”
“V, list—”
“DO YOU?”
“Stop blaming me for your life choices! I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO STOP DATING! I DID WHAT I THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR ME, OKAY?"
“FIVE! In ten fucking years. Five whole dates. I was so fucked up by our convo that day in the hospital that I couldn’t sleep for months. MONTHS! No appetite. No desire to live. NOTHING! I mean, MARRIED? You got fucking married?” You're really crying and I feel like shit. "Those six months we spent together, were the happiest of my life. YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! Baby, you broke my fucking heart! Broke it? Wait, I’m sorry! Shattered it into a billion pieces! MARRIED?! I could understand if you were dating, even having sex, all that shit! But married?! It. Fucking. Destroyed. Me….”
“V, I’m sorry, but let it go, baby! LET IT GO! It's ancient history."
“Let it go. Hmmm. Yeah, what a great fuckin' idea! I fell in love with you again. This last time, in Night City. Did you know that? I fell head over fucking heels in love with you. How sick is that? HUH! You couldn’t have fucking cared less whether I was dead. Lying in some gutter somewhere. How dare you use the word soulmate as a punchline for some stupid, fucked up joke!"
….I’ve never seen you like this before. You’re destroyed. Wild-eyed, crazy.
“Baby, Okay, okay. I-I didn’t me—”
“You were that woman. My SOULMATE. At least that’s what I believed in my heart. My whole life, everyone was always telling me how naive I was when it came to love. Just a clueless, romantic, born in the wrong century, my head in the clouds. BUT IN THE END, I WAS RIGHT! Or so I thought when I found you. I had no idea I was in a coma! But a part of me still believed you’d be so happy when you found out I was okay. So overjoyed, a-and we’d ride off into the sunset together. Just the two of us. Me and you. Forever…. And you know what? You didn’t even fuckin’ care. Spit in my face on the holo and I was already so scared. Terrified. I needed you so much, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be...."
Your face contorts into some weird, agonized, hateful smile and I have to turn away. I can’t look at you.
“V, I fucked up, okay?”
“Mmmm, you didn’t love me anymore. Me, Judy! It was me! V! And I’m still not over it and I don’t know if I ever will be. I hate that you have so much power over me. I’m around you for a few days and all I want to do is to spend every waking moment in your arms. Forever. So when we said goodbye ten days ago, m-my loneliness was just too overwhelming. It was unbearable. I tried. I swear to god I tried to be okay, but it was excruciating. You were my soulmate. And now you flippantly toss that word around, like it’s meaningless. You use it to make fun of me? Yeah, yeah I know. It's corny, cheesy. I sound like a gonk. But it’s real. To me it is, anyway. You were that woman."
By the time you finish talking, I can barely breathe. You bared your soul to me and I’m 6,000 miles away. I can’t hold you. I can’t run my fingers through your hair and whisper, “Everything’s gonna be alright. I’m here, calabacita. I’m here.”
Someone's gonna hold you tonight, but it's not gonna be me....
We’re both upset. Staring at each other. Neither of us knows what to say.
“I’m so sorry, V.”
“S-Sarah, she-she took a tiny, tiny bit of the pain and loneliness away. So yes. To answer your question. We had sex. I’m sorry, Judy. I’ll always love you with all my heart, but I can’t wait around forever…. You need to make things right. With yourself, with your wife. With me….”
“You’re right. You’re right, V. I won’t bother again you until things have changed.”
“Haven’t you been listening to a word I said? You’re not fucking bothering me. I love you! I miss you. I-I need you.”
I gasp. You take my breath away. “S-Same, baby. Same….”
We blow each other a kiss and then hang up. I'm so confused! You say you love me but you're sleeping with someone else?
I crawl under the scratchy, nylon covers and cry myself to sleep.
(I won’t lose you again, V. I promise you, calabacita....)
II.
(Sarah, standing still)
(Ooof! I-I heard every word V said to her. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but once I heard her voice, I couldn’t turn away.)
The things she said were so beautiful. So heartbreakingly beautiful.
FUCK! WHY DID WE SLEEP TOGETHER! Now I’m all screwed up! She’s not mine. We’re not a couple. She doesn’t owe me an explanation.
I knew this was gonna happen if we were intimate. I knew it!
Now I’m jealous of her feelings for Judy. Shit!
I wanna be there for her. A-As a friend, not a lover. But I don’t think I can now….
Am I falling for her?
She’s such a sensitive, romantic, sexy, intelligent woman. My new feelings are already getting in the way!
Of course I don’t want them to be together!
Not now!
I want V. I need her….
She deserves someone better than Judy fucking Alvarez….
Notes:
Next: Sarah grows possessive of V. She doesn't want to share her with anyone, especially Judy. Sarah and V's friendship, once so strong and healthy, has turned into an overwhelming source of worry, anxiety, and stress. Valerie finally reaches a breaking point. She needs time to herself. To process and work through her feelings without someone hanging on her 24/7....
How will Sarah react when V reminds her how much she still loves Judy Alvarez?
Chapter 18: Lush, Love, Life
Summary:
V starts to feel suffocated, overwhelmed by Sarah's constant presence in her life. She never has any time left to herself. Time to relax and reflect on her situation with Judy. It all boils over one morning when Valerie decides to ping Judy.
Judy has an offer for V: Come out to Seatlle to stay with her at her abuela's. Valerie's afraid Judy might decide her marriage is worth saving and suddenly decide to delta back to Pittsburgh and Bianca. Sarah freaks out when she overhears them on the holophone.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Valerie. One month since she and Judy said goodbye)
….Sarah and I spend almost every waking moment together.
And truthfully?
It’s getting to be a little too much.
I feel like I don’t have any space or time left to myself.
This was such a bad idea. Sleeping with her.
Awww, shit. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better, huh?
Sarah’s insatiable. Insatiable.
I’m so tired, I can barely move.
She can go on forever.
Never gets tired, never slows down or wants to take a break.
Constantly wants to have sex.
I lose the will to resist. I can’t say no.
But it’s too much.
She’s a lot younger and her libido is completely kicking my ass.
The truth of it is, I do like her. I do.
But in all honesty, I think she was just my rebound from Jude.
Awww, Judy….
We hardly speak. It hurts me terribly. I think of our week in Night City all the time.
I have something to confess.
Sometimes, when I’m making love to Sarah and she’s going down on me, or vice-versa, I close my eyes and imagine I’m with Judy.
It makes me orgasm immediately but then I’m filled with such crushing guilt….
Sarah’s good in bed. Really good.
She’s really kinky, loves all the risque, taboo stuff. Loves the toys.
Can’t get enough of my rear end (I'm so sore!) but she’s not Jude.
Naw, she’s not Jude.
No one is….
I miss my leelou bean.
Sarah’s been staying here, so like I said, I don’t get a lot of time to relax or reflect on this past month.
I’m still in bed. It’s almost ten. I can hear Sar in the kitchen making breakfast.
I take my holophone out and ping Judy.
It’s been four days since we texted….
She picks up right away.
“V. Hi.”
“Heyyyy, Jude. You okay?”
“I don’t know. No. I’m glad you called. I need to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m thinking of going out to Seattle. To stay with mi abuela. She’s really getting up there. She’s gonna be 80 next month.”
“80…. Holy shit, Jude. That’s like, unheard of in this day and age. That’s incredible. Good for her.”
“Yeah, but she’s having trouble getting around the house. She fell the other day. Thankfully, it wasn’t too bad. She’s got someone that comes to the house. Not everyday, but still. Kinda like a home health aide. Buys groceries, runs errands. Shit like that. Luckily, they found her on the kitchen floor. She’d only been there for about an hour. They brought her to the local med center. She’s okay. Anyway, her expenses are getting harder and harder to keep up with. I send her euros every month, but we were talking the other day and it doesn’t make much sense for me to keep staying in hotels, wasting money when I could move out there, take care of her. There’s plenty of room for me….
“I think that would be great, Jude.” I pause. I wanna ask about her marriage but I’m afraid of the answers I might hear….
“What?” Judy asks. “Seems like you wanna ask me something.”
“I know it’s none of my business but how are things with Bianca?”
She takes a deep breath and steadies herself.
“So, this is—”
….At that moment, Sarah comes running in and dives on the bed. I wasn’t paying attention, so I drop my holo and it goes skittering across the floor.
“Hey girl! What’cha doing?” She asks, completely oblivious to the fact that I was just talking to someone. I must look really pissed because she goes, “What’s wrong?”
“Jesus Christ, I was just talking to Judy on the phone! Come on, Sarah! Can you move please?”
She rolls off the bed, while I scramble to find my phone. When I pick it up, I see that Jude disconnected. She hung up. I don’t blame her. Now I’m like, really fucking pissed off.
“V, I’m sorry, I was just tryi—"
I put my hand up in the air.
“Sarah, we need to talk. Sit down.” I have to tell her I need a little space. This is too much. It’s all gotten out of hand.
(She’s scared. I can tell by the look on her face. She thinks I’m ending things….
Am I?)
“Hey, V. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were on the phone. I was just gonna tell you breakfast was ready. I’m sorry. Was that Judy?”
“Yes and she hung up. It’s alright but Sarah, I-I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Actually, I’ve been a lot overwhelmed lately. Our situation. You and me? It’s just too much right now. I-I’m sorry, I need a little break.”
She gasps audibly, bursts into tears, and sprints out of the room. “COME ON, V! FUCK! WHY!” I can hear the bathroom door slamming shut and locking.
“Uhhh, fucking a’,” I scoff disgustedly. “Fucking pain in the fucking ass, you know?”
I stay in bed. I don’t feel like having an argument, begging her to come out. Fuck it. She can stay in the bathroom and be pissed off all she wants….
I ping Judy again. This time, it takes her a while to answer.
“Hey.”
“Jude, I’m sorry.”
“You girls living together now?”
“No, no. She’s been staying here. We just had a fight, or we’re about to have one, as soon as I go get her from the bathroom.”
Judy starts getting emotional.
“Do you love her, V?”
The question stops me dead in my tracks….
Do I?
Love her?
What is love?
Do I even know what it means anymore?
Did I ever know what it meant?
Oh yeah. I remember what it meant….
Summer, 2077. The happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I know I love you, leelou bean. With Sarah, it’s purely sexual, physical. But does she love me? Am I leading her on? Giving her false hope? Making promises I can’t keep?
I nudge myself back to the present….
“No, Jude. No. We were better as friends. Sarah’s preem, but….”
(I’m just gonna come right out and say it.)
“I love you, Judy.”
“Then why are you sleeping with a 24 year old?”
“I’m lonely. It’s like I tried to explain on the holo the last time we talked. Saying goodbye to you was too hard and I started looking for any kind of comfort, any kind of companionship. I’m lonely, baby. Sarah’s been a good friend, and she should’ve stayed that way. Instead, I made things worse because of my own insecurities, my own fears. I was selfish….”
“Come out to Seattle,” Judy blurts. “Please, calabacita. I need to see you so bad. I miss you. I wanna hold you in bed all day, listen to the rain. It rains all the time there, hehe. I love you….”
I shake my head. I’m so upset. I want Judy in the worst way but if she’s just gonna delta back to Pittsburgh and reconcile with Bianca once she’s had her fun with me, I-I can’t live that kind of life. It would literally fucking kill me….
“Jude….”
“What? Come out! Seattle. Come on! Say something! Come on!”
“What then?”
“Huh? What do you mean, what then?”
“After Seattle. You gonna go back to Pittsburgh, make up with Bianca? Because if I decide to come out there, and then you pull some crazy fucking shit, I’ll lose my mind.”
“V, my marriage is over. Over…. It’s been a month since we’ve been back and I’m still staying in shitty hotels every night.”
“Does Bianca know it’s over?”
“I can’t answer that. I don’t know what’s going through her mind.”
“I don’t know, baby. I need to really think about it. I need to get approved for the time off. I have enough. I just need to get it approved by management. Let me think about it.”
“O-Okay. I’m leaving in October. That gives you a little over three weeks to decide. I really need you, V.”
“I just don’t wanna get hurt. Get my hopes up and then one morning, you wake up and decide you wanna try and save your marriage.”
“That’s not gonna happen.”
I let out a pained moan. Sarah’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom, looking daggers at me.
“Jude, I gotta go. Ping you soon.”
“V, what is it? What’s wr—?”
I hang up. Sarah’s got her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.
“You’re going to fucking Seattle? WHEN? You’re fucking leaving? NOW?”
….Oh shit. And I gotta fuckin’ go to work tomorrow too.
(Ugh…. Lovely!)
Notes:
Next: V has a lot on her mind. She's confused about where she stands in Judy's life. Has she just become the other woman now? Sarah continues to put pressure on her not to go. Her tune has changed completely. She tries to convince V that Judy's simply using her; that she doesn't really love her....
Chapter 19: My Heart, Beating Faster
Summary:
V's (love/sex) life becomes more and more chaotic. She's torn between her undying love for Judy and her fear of being tossed to the curb in favor of Bianca. Judy begs her to come out to Seattle. She needs her now more than ever. Sarah has her own opinions about Judy's motives.
V's got a lot on her mind but would she really say no to Jude?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
V, Spain
“….I think that’s a terrible fucking idea!” Sarah yells, standing in the doorway, staring me down. “Terrible! She’s fucking using you while she figures things out with her wife! Are you blind, V? HUH?”
“C’mere,” I say, soothingly. I don’t want to fight with her. She’s been a good friend. She’s helped me a lot.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Like being all cold and shit? Saying you need space, and going to Seattle!"
“I never said I was going to Seattle. I said I was thinking about it. And I’m not being cold. I’m opening up to you, sharing my feelings. We’ve been spending every single second together. I just need a little bit of breathing room, Sarah. Okay? Now come here.”
She is sexy....
Short, straight, strawberry blonde hair in a classy bob style. Small, oval face, hazel eyes. Cute little nose. Perfect body. Beautiful ass and tits.
"Hmph,” she says in a bitchy voice, but walks over to the bed anyway.
I lift up the covers and whisper, “Get in here, gonk."
I see the tiniest smile on her face. She’s got on a pair of black underwear and a green t-shirt.
(Oh V, I say to myself. What in the world are you doing to this girl? You’re fucking her up. You know that, don’t you?)
Sarah slides in and we immediately start kissing. In a split-second, her whole demeanor changes. She’s powerful, forceful in bed. She flips me over on my stomach, and starts rubbing my pussy from behind. Her fingers press against the fabric of my panties and I cry out.
She bites my ear and says, “Don’t leave, baby. I’ll fuck you like this every day. I want your ass.”
I shake my head. “Uh-uh. I’m sore from yesterday. That dildo was too-"
“Shhh, let me make it all better. No dildos, just my tongue, I promise. Okay?"
“Mmmm, ‘kay. Go ahead. But be gentle. It still hurts.”
“Okay, I will….”
Sarah puts me on all fours, goes around back, lifts me up by the hips and goes to work on my ass and pussy for thirty solid minutes. By the time she’s done, I literally can’t see straight, panting, gasping for air. I think I came half a dozen times. The sheets are damp with our fluids….
I collapse and land face first into the fluffy pillow. I let out a long, deep, sustained garbled whimper of pure pleasure.
“Ughhhhhh, FUCK! Fuck, fuck, n-no more, n-no m-more, c’mere, Sar. Get the fuck up here….”
She kisses every inch of my sweaty body on her way up.
“How was that?” Sarah whispers. “All better down there? Was I gentle enough?"
“Awww god…. Yes, yes, YES!”
And I start to pass out. It’s Sunday afternoon. My last thoughts before I close my eyes are of Judy, among other things….
What am I doing with my life?
What am I doing with Sarah? I’m so fucked up.
Should I go to Seattle?
What if Judy leaves me again?
Why am I so insecure all the time?
Is Judy using me to get back at Bianca?
Do I need to take a shower? Probably....
What outfit should I wear to work tomorrow?
Do I have any cigarettes left?
Am I out of coffee?
Softly, I feel Sarah’s lips on my skin. No fucking way. Again, she wants to have sex?
“Don’t go, V,” she says, licking my neck, sucking on it. “Don’t leave me again, girl.”
“Uhhh, I’m still not sure,” I say in a tired, ragged voice.
“You sound so sexy when you’re tired. Wanna fuck?
“Sarah! Sheesh! I-I’m so tired.”
“Awww, I’ll do all the work. Pleaseeee?”
I hold her close, look into her eyes. She’s hard to resist.
“Go ahead. Do whatever you want.”
“Turn over,” she grunts. “On your stomach. Come on. Open those long, smooth legs. Close your eyes. Relax.”
A minute later, my tongue’s hanging out of my mouth, my eyes pop open and I bite down hard on the pillow. I can feel her licking in long strokes, starting where my pussy meets the base of my ass, all the way to the top and back down again....
Up, down, down, up, side to side, circular motion, poking, pushing, sucking. She can be so deceptively gentle sometimes....
“Ugh, shit. Sar, fuck. Oh, shit. Mmph, mmph, mhmmmm, fuck….”
“You like that don’t you? Don’t you? When I lick your ass, huh? Naughty girl. So naughty,” she says in a commanding voice.
“I-I do. I do. Oh fuck, I do. Don’t stop, shit.”
“I love your butt, V. Fucking nova.”
“Mmph, l-lick it. Let me feel your tongue f-fucking me.”
I’m getting ready to come so hard. She’s speeding up. My body’s bouncing up and down. I’m so tired. I’m exhausted. S-So….
Just as I start to orgasm, my phone pings. Sarah doesn’t let up. She’s relentless. I reach around, grab the back of her head, and hold it in place. I move up and down as hard as I can, grinding against her mouth. I can feel her tongue everywhere….
My phone.
Is that Judy?
I’m still coming.
Should I stop?
I can’t stop!
What if she’s in trouble?
This orgasm feels so nova.
How long can it last?
Am I gonna start crying? I think I am....
My phone won’t stop pinging.
Eventually, my body slows down. A few more thrusts and I settle. Finally, the phone stops....
I panic, and wildly start looking for it, wiping away my confused tears. I'm scared.
Sarah rolls off and lays on her back.
“What’s wrong? What is it?”
“I don’t know! Everything! Nothing! You’ve got me all fucked up, Sarah! No, no it’s not you. It’s me! I need a break! My holo. I’m so fucking tired! I’m all disoriented! I’m s-sorry!” My hormones are so up and down. I'm a mess, a fuckin' mess!"
(Everything hits me all at once: Judy. Sarah. The constant sex. Judy. My job. Seattle. I’m 34 years old and according to all the statistics, more than halfway through with my life. Then Johnny Silverhand pops into my head. Huh? Why him? Why now? Sweet Judy, leelou bean. Sarah. Sex, sex, sex, and more sex…. Living in Spain? Night City. Lizzie’s.
Love, hate. Longing, ache. Pain. Regret, worry….)
I try to get out of bed too fast but my legs are all pins and needles, and I land, ass first, back on the mattress.
“Girl, you okay?” Sarah’s looking at me.
“I don’t know. I think I’m having a panic attack! Shit! Fuck!”
“Wanna take a shower?”
“NO! No! No more sex. I-I can’t. I need a break!”
"Relax V, it’s just a shower…. Stop being such a prude."
I shoot her an incredulous look, point at myself and mouth, "Me? A prude? I am not. Maybe later. I gotta make a phone call.”
"To who? Judy?”
“YES! Judy! God!”
“FINE!” Sarah gets up and leaves the bedroom. She’s all pissy again. Huffing and puffing her way through the apartment. “Right after we make love, you gotta call her?” She yells from the kitchen.
I don’t answer. I stand up shakily and make my way to the door. Quietly, I close and lock it. Then I lie back down and crawl underneath the covers, get myself all comfy-cozy. Slowly, I start to calm down.
Judy answers and doesn't even have time to say hello before I start talking.
“Sorry I missed your call sorry I-I was busy but I’m here now are you okay? I miss you I do honestly Judy I’m sorry I am are you okay?”
“Abuela’s in the hospital. It turns out she hurt herself a lot worse than they initially thought. She’s got a broken hip and a torn rotator cuff. I have to leave tomorrow.”
“Oh, Judy. Baby, I’m sorry.”
“I need you, calabacita. Like really, really need you. Can you fly back to the NUS? Like as soon as possible? I miss you so much. Please?”
“Of course I can. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” Judy puts her head in her hands and starts sniffling. “V, listen. Bianca, s-she wants to reconcile.”
(I cough…. Wait. What? What the fuck? Oh god, no. Oh, no no no no….)
Timidly, I say, “Oh….”
“She called me last night. We talked. It was the first time in days….”
I feel like screaming.
“W-What did you say?” I ask, afraid I’m losing my leelou bean again. No, no I can’t deal with this….
(Part of me wants to hang up and never speak to her again. Another part wants to tell her how much I love her and need her in my life.)
“I said I’m taking some time and staying with my granny out west.”
“That it?”
“I said I wasn’t ready to discuss anything with her right now.” Judy stares at me. “She asked about you. ‘Bout us.”
My heart skips a beat….
“W-What did you say?”
Judy smiles and it’s so beautiful I have the strangest urge to shield my eyes, like I’m looking at a brilliant, bold sun and it’s just too bright….
“I told her I love you."
“Y-You did?”
“Mhmm. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart. Please come and see me. Please, V?”
(I’m so scared. What if they reconcile? What happens to me? To us? There’s no denying it. I miss Judy terribly. I just wish I wasn't so frightened.)
“Okay, okay. I'll come out."
“Thank you. Gotta go. Ping you later. Bye-bye.”
“Bye….”
Notes:
Next: Spain to Seattle, crisscrossing Night City. V and Jude's memories cut deep. Is the distance between them (literally & figuratively) too great to cross? Meanwhile, Sarah decides to, "borrow," V's holophone to ping Judy. That outcome of that convo could prove disastrous for V....
*This story is just one of the ways I envision facets of V & Jude's life, post-coma. Just my interpretation, me, that's all. I love to delve into the different dynamics of their relationship like, loyalty, faithfulness, desire, sex, and of course, love. Valerie has needs just like any other human being. Sometimes, it's hard to write her in intimate situations with someone other than Judy, but it's important to the overall theme of the story, and that is....
The possible redemptive, healing power of love between the mercenary and the techie. How they could fall in love again even when they might feel so far away from each other. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually....
Chapter 20: Moments to Change Forever
Summary:
Judy lands in Seattle. She's going through her own personal crisis. Between her abuela, Bianca, and V, she's upset, confused. Then she receives a call which throws her life into further chaos. Sarah waits until V's asleep to steal her holophone and ping Judy. She tells her V doesn't love her anymore and that she wants to spend her life in Spain. She fills Judy's head with so much disinformation, that she doesn't know what to believe. Needless to say, when V discovers Sarah's betrayal, she loses it....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Valerie/Sarah, Spain
“I can’t fucking believe you, V. Just go then. Guess I’ll see you when I fuckin’ see you. I swear I don’t understand you.”
“Sarah, c’mon. Judy needs me. This sucks. You and I were so much better as friends, you know that?”
She looks at me like she’s just seen a ghost. Her eyes go wide and she shrugs her shoulders like I’m speaking a different language and she can’t understand me.
“What did you say? You can’t fucking be serious. How can you say that, V! This is the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire fucking life!”
(Hmph, maybe for you, but not for me. Nah, you’re good, Sarah. You’re really good, but I’m thinking of someone else right now)
“That’s not what I meant. I just felt closer to you as a friend. Now things seem, I don’t know. Just different.”
“Fuck this,” Sarah growls. “I’m going home.”
I stare at her. Call her bluff. She’s not going anywhere. I’ve been around the block. I know when someone's lying.
“Okay,” I nod.
She rushes at me.
“Why are you so…. So. UGH! Frustrating!”
“Sarah, what do you want from me, huh?”
“I don’t know. Compassion? Warmth?” She turns away and whispers, “Love?”
“You know my feelings. I’ve never hid anything from you. You know how I feel about Judy.”
“V, she’s fucking married! What don’t you get? I’m right here, and she’s all the way on the other side of the world!!!!”
I smile and take Sarah’s hand in mine.
“She could be in another galaxy and my feelings would still be the same, Sar. You know that. We’ve had a thousand convos about this. I’m in love with Judy.”
“Then when are you fucking me? Huh? What? Are you just using me?”
“No. No. I-I really, really like you, Sarah. I—”
“OH, GOD! You really, really like me? What the fuck does that even mean? You like me more than a friend but less than a lover?”
I sigh and think back to the exact moment when she leaned over and kissed me. I should’ve put a stop to it right then and there. But I couldn’t. I was lonely, weak. Feelin’ sorry for myself, full of bitterness. Upset with Judy for leaving. Upset with myself for falling in love with her again. All of it. It was just a shitty, shitty situation….
“Sarah, come on. I’m not using you. I love our sex life. But I never said we were a couple, or we were exclusive. I didn’t want that.”
“I don’t care how you try and spin it, V. You fucking led me on, and now you’re gonna delta thousands of miles away? I swear to god I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this.”
“SHE NEEDS ME AND I LOVE HER, OKAY? YOU KNEW THAT! I NEVER LIED ABOUT MY FEELINGS FOR HER!”
“Fine. Goodbye.”
I reach out and grab her by the elbow.
“Sarah, don’t leave like this, please. I don’t wanna part as enemies, please? I care about you, very deeply. Please?”
I draw her in. She’s crying.
“I’m falling in love with you, V.”
I take a deep, sharp breath.
“What?” I gasp. “Sarah?”
“I am. I can’t help it."
Now I really feel like an absolute piece of shit. Oh, jeez. Oh, boy.
“Listen. I’m not leaving yet. I still have to buy the tickets. Probably a day or two. Stay. Only if you want.”
I’m still holding her. Her face is resting against my chest. She doesn’t answer, but I can feel her nodding.
Then she whispers, “O-Okay….”
II.
(Judy, landing in Seattle)
….I feel terrible.
Just terrible. About a lot of things. Not just abuelita….
I miss Valerie and-and I have so much guilt over Bianca.
We were married for such a long time. So many preem memories. We shared a life a-and that’s all over now.
Am I okay with that?
Deep down inside, am I really fine with saying goodbye to her forever?
What about that little bitch, Sarah?
Bet she’s trying her hardest to poison V against me.
Is it working?
What if V doesn’t show?
I haven’t heard from her in a few days. I hope everything’s all right.
From the airport, I take a taxi to my grandmother’s house. She’s not home. She’s staying in a rehab center for the foreseeable future, or until the money runs out, whichever comes first....
I had to withdraw the rest of my savings to help offset the costs. The rest of my money's all tied up in joint accounts with Bianca....
So now, I’m basically broke. Took a leave of absence (unpaid) from my job. I’m running on fumes.
I have the place to myself. It’s weird. I’ve never been here before. Once granny left NC, and I got married, there was just never a good time to come out and visit.
Days turned into months. Months turned into years, and here we are….
It’s a Cape Cod style home. Modest, not too big, but comfy. First, I walk around downstairs and take it in. There’s a small living room, a dining room and the kitchen’s a decent size. I open the fridge. Other than an old carton of milk and a rotted head of lettuce, it's completely empty. The cellar door's locked with a latch. I think about opening it and going down, but I'm a little bit scared. Maybe some other time....
“Oh, abuela,” I whisper, wondering how much longer she really has. Up until recently, it appears as though the house was kept up nicely.
Slowly, I trudge up the living room steps to the second floor. I find myself in a short, narrow hallway. There’s a spare bedroom, tiny bathroom, and a decent-sized master bedroom.
I walk to the end of the hall where there's a window. It's open. A pleasant, cool breeze rushes in. It’s nice. I peer outside. It's early afternoon. Overcast, gray, cloudy....
I check my holophone….
Nothing. No messages.
I think about messaging V, and then maybe texting Bianca….
Just as I go to put it back in my pocket, it pings. Anxiously, I pull it out and look at it….
Awww. Calabacita!
But when I open it, there’s no image, no picture of V.
“Hey? V?”
“Judy, right?”
“Who is this?”
Silence….
Again I ask, “Who is this? Hello?”
“This is Sarah….”
I tense up. Swallow hard.
“Okay? W-Where’s V?”
“Asleep.”
“Oh, well, can I help you with something, Sarah?"
“She doesn’t love you, Judy.”
“Excuse me?”
“She doesn’t love you. She told me herself...."
I don’t know whether or not to believe her.
“She told you that, huh?”
“Yes, she did.”
“Is that why you called? To tell me that?"
“She loves me. She wants to be with me.
“Oh, she does, does she?”
“Yeah, she’s just afraid to tell you.”
“Put her on the holo.”
“I told you, she’s asleep.”
I sigh disgustedly. "Well then wake her up.”
“I told her, she’s just a placeholder until you make up with Bianca.”
(What the fuck? What does she know my wife's name? Who the fuck is this?)
“That’s none of your fucking business. Put her on the phone, goddammit.”
“She told me I’m a better lover than you ever were. Said I could make her come so fast, her head spins. She loves it when I fuck her in the butt with our dildo. She screams for more, begs me for it.”
I roll my eyes, but she's starting to get to me. “Listen, Sarah, right? I don’t know what the fuck you’re tryin’ to do here, but it ain’t working. Sooner or later, I’m gonna talk to her, and then I’ll find out if any of this BULLSHIT is true! Fucking bitch," I sneer.
(Now she comes into view and I get a glimpse of her for the first time. She’s young. She would be really cute, sexy, except I’m repulsed by everything she just said.)
"Aren't you married? Why are you even in V's life? Just leave her alone, Judy. Leave us alone.”
“Awww, fuck off, will you? What are you in fuckin' elementary school? So fucking immature.”
“She’s not coming to Seattle. Don't call back. Goodbye….”
Bitch just hangs up!
“Hey! Hey! Hello? Fuck you! Hello?”
(Immediately, I try calling back, but V's phone is either dead or off. Over and over, I try to call back. Nothing. Now I’m starting to panic. What if this psycho did something to her? I’m beginning to lose my cool. For the next hour, I repeatedly try to get in touch with her, but it’s no use.)
I’m super nervous. I’m worried about V. I'm worried if any of it was true. (Was it?) I start pacing around the house. I’m all alone yet I feel suffocated, claustrophobic. I’m losing my cool. Already, I start envisioning V and Sarah together....
("Baby, are you okay?" I'm thinking to myself. "What’s going on, V? Come on, ping me. What’s happening now? Did you make promises you can't keep?")
III.
(V, Spain)
….The second I wake up, I can tell something’s fucked up. Sarah’s got all her stuff packed. She’s dressed like she’s getting ready to delta.
“Where are you going?” I ask, rubbing my eyes.
“When are you leaving?”
“I told you earlier. Either tomorrow night or the next day. What’s up?”
Sarah just stares at me….
“I-I gotta talk to you.”
“Okay? So talk….”
“I used your holophone and I pinged Judy.”
I sit up in bed, cross my legs, and stare at Sarah in disbelief. What did she just say?
“W-Whoa. Run that by me again. WHAT?"
“I said, I used your holo to ping Judy.”
“Are you fucking nuts? Sarah.... Tell me you’re joking right now.”
“I’m dead serious. I hung up on her, a-about 15-20 minutes ago.”
“Sarah, you’re really scaring me. What the fuck did you say to her?”
“I told her everything. I told her about our sex life and how hard I can make you come. I told her you don’t love her as much as you love me. I told h—”
(I actually scream as loud as I can. I cannot fucking believe she would do this to me. I scare us both)
“AIEEEEEE!! NO! WHY! WHY DID YOU DO THAT? WHERE’S MY FUCKING PHONE!!”
“I hid it! I’m leaving! Find it yourself!”
“BITCH! WHY? WHY?” I feel like I’m gonna faint.
“Because! You fucking used me! What did you think was gonna happen? Huh?”
“I hate you!" I'm hurt. I'm so fuckin' hurt. "GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!”
(I’m hysterical now, crying, running through the apartment, trying desperately to find my holo. Tears are streaming down my face. I’m so crushed by Sarah’s betrayal. She was such a good, good friend. And now that’s all over, forever….)
“You’ll never find it! Good luck!” She turns to go but I tackle her to the ground.
“WHERE THE FUCK IS IT? You’re not leaving until I have my phone.” I have her pinned to the ground. She’s squirming, but I’m filled with so much adrenaline, I feel like a cyberpsycho.
She spits in my face. “I love you! And you just toss me to the curb, like I mean nothing to you!"
“Love?” I hiss, spitting back at her. “You wouldn’t know what love was if it came up and smacked you across the face!”
We wrestle around. I grab her by the hair and pull as hard as I can.
“Where is it, Sarah? I’ll rip your fucking hair right outta your head.” To show her I’m not fucking around, I pull as hard as I can. She cries out in pain. “Tell me, or the next time, I’m tearing it the fuck out.”
“BEHIND THE BOOKS. OWWW! LET ME GO!”
(We’re both in tears as I leap off her and rush to the bookshelf. Crazily, I throw every single one of the books to the floor. Finally I see it, all the way at the bottom. It was turned off. Frantically, I turn it on, and wait for it to power up. I turn to Sarah and shake my head, I’m really, really heartbroken by this turn of events….)
“I trusted you. I-I thought you were my friend. I just don’t understand why you would wanna hurt me like this.”
She’s on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. “I love you, and you don’t even care about me!"
“P-Please just leave. Please?” I’m devastated.
She seems to come out of the trance she was in. She staggers to her feet and tries to go to me, but I push her away….
“V. O-Oh my god. I-I wasn’t thinking. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I-I was just so fucked up because you're gonna delta. I didn’t mean it. P-Please. I’m so s-sorry.”
“No. It’s too late. It can never be the way it was before. Just leave, okay? Please, Sarah.”
She falls at my feet. Her body starts heaving.
“I’M SORRY! PLEASE, V! I love you! Don’t make me leave.”
“Go. You hurt me really, really fucking bad. After everything we’ve been through, you pull a stunt like this? You need help.”
“S-She doesn’t love you like I do,” Sarah begs and pleads.
“You made sure of that, hmmm?” I say, full of hatred.
“I can make you happy. Give me a chance. Please.”
“You need to leave. NOW.”
Sarah picks up her overnight bag and stumbles to the door.
“T-Take all the time you need, o-okay?” She says and actually smiles. “And I’ll be right here w-when you get back, okay? Baby, I’m so-so sorry.”
I don’t answer. I just point to the door. “Goodbye.”
“Nooooooo!! God, please. V, baby, please. Please don't do this."
I open the door and nudge Sarah out. I can hear her weeping outside, begging me to forgive her. I lock the door, turn around and nervously dial Judy’s digits….
I’m praying she answers and that Sarah didn’t ruin our relationship for good….
Notes:
Next: Picking up the pieces of what was once such a strong and powerful love. Can V and Judy make it back from the edge. Will they ever reach the top of the mountain again or is it too steep to climb? Has their love simply passed them by?
Chapter 21: The Rediscovery Of Touch
Summary:
Judy & V have an awkward convo following Sarah's little stunt. Judy's going through it. She admits Bianca wants to reconcile and try to make their marriage work. She's willing to move past Judy's indiscretions. Obviously, V's is saddened by this news. Is her leelou bean pulling away?
Later on, V lands in Seattle and the two of them are reunited for the first time since their incredible week together in Night City....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….Judy picks up and I can tell she’s been crying. Her eyes are bloodshot, puffy. Her face is streaked with sweat, makeup. Her hair’s all tangled. She looks shot….
“What the fuck?” She whispers, full of pain, anguish. “W-What the fuck was that, V?”
“Shit. I’m so sorry, Jude. She took my phone. I had no idea. I was asleep. I woke up and she told me what happened. I’m so fucking embarrassed. I feel like such a fucking idiot.”
“What is this? What did you do?”
(I don’t understand the question.)
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“I mean, did you-did you promise her things? Tell her you loved her?”
“No, no. I never told her I loved her. Never once. I told you, she was a good, good friend. We fucked up, and started sleeping together. It was wrong. I-I, it was my fault. I couldn’t say no. I was afraid.”
“V, the things she said. So dirty, filthy. Stuff about your sex life. Dildos.... Toys. I mean, I'm all into kink, BUT COME ON! REALLY?”
My face burns red hot. I can’t even look at you. I’m shocked. So ashamed. So fucking ashamed.
“J-Judy. She was upset. It didn’t mean anything.”
“What didn’t mean anything?”
“It was just sex.”
“Well according to her, it was pretty fucking good sex. It must’ve meant something. Said you told her she was better than me in bed...."
(I smile very subtly. Just enough so you notice.)
“No one’s better than you. No one. Not even close, Jude.”
“Don’t try to butter me up. I’m not there yet, okay?”
“O-Okay, but it’s true.”
“Ugh, V. What are we doing? This? What are we doing with our lives?”
“I-I don’t know. Do you?”
(You take a deep breath and proceed to say something that really hurts me....)
“Been thinkin’ about my marriage lately.”
I whimper, almost like I got stung by a bee.
“W-What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve been married for a long time. A lot of moments and memories. Good times and bad. Bianca, she-she—”
(You can’t finish, can you? You’re afraid to tell me what’s in your heart. Having second thoughts about me coming out to Seattle, huh?)
“What? Just tell me, Jude.”
“She wants to-to give it another chance. Our marriage. Wants to see a therapist. Talk, reconnect, find each other again.”
I feel the sharpest, most jagged knife twisting into my heart. I try to smile but it’s the worst kind of pain imaginable. I wince. How can you have this much power over me, Judy Alvarez?
I stare at your image on the other end of the holophone….
(The love of my life....)
And even though we didn’t speak for over a decade,
I still always thought of you as my one and only true love.
But maybe those feelings weren't mutual....
Am I losing you?
Is that what’s happening here? Now, in real time?
Is it playing out before me like some sad ending to a romantic play?
Are you saying goodbye?
I can barely speak as I croak, “W-What are you saying, Judy? Are you giving up on us?"
“No, god no. No, I-I’m confused. I don’t know. I love you, V but there’s so much history between her and I. Sometimes, I think about all the time she and I spent together and it’s-it’s just hard, that’s all.”
(Did I just hear you say you don’t know?)
My voice is a cracked whisper now. “And do you think about all the time we spent apart? No, you wouldn’t need to, would you? After all, you had someone to hold, kiss, love. Me? All I had was my fuckin’ pillow and daydreams of the best six months of my life….”
“Are you coming to Seattle?” Judy asks, staring at me. I can tell she’s imagining me and Sarah in bed together. It’s written all over her face. She's pissed again.
"Yes. I was planning on it. Why? Have someone else in mind now?”
“No. Just feelin’ jealous. Thinking of you having sex with her. It sucks.”
(I feel really fucked up. Judy won’t come out and say exactly what it was Sarah said to her, but I can tell it was explicit enough to be hurtful.)
“I’m sorry she pinged you.”
“Ehhh, sheesh, I mean, I just can’t believe you did some of those things with her. Is it true?"
(Awww, shit. She went into graphic detail, didn't she? Fuck….)
"I don't know. It wasn’t anyth—”
“Don’t V. Just don’t. There’s nothing you can say that’s gonna make me feel better. It just hurts to hear you let her into that part of your life.”
“I know it does. I know.”
(But didn't you do the same kinds of things with Bianca? How is that any different?)
Judy coughs, clears her throat.
“Did you get your tickets yet?"
“Mhmm.”
“You did?”
“Yep. I did. Online. I leave tomorrow night. Thirteen and a half hour flight. Ugh.”
“I can’t wait to see you, calabacita.”
“Ah—?” I stop. I’m so pleasantly surprised to hear you call me your pumpkin. I light up inside. It’s like a dose of euphoria. I feel hot but in such a preem way.”
“What?”
“N-Nothing. I just love it when you call me that. It makes me feel good inside.”
“Hurry, baby,” you whisper….
“Uh-uh, just gonna have to wait,” I say and wink. I’m coy, shy. Blinking. Flirting with you.
….We spend the next hour talking about abuela, Seattle, Pittsburgh, Spain. For the most part, boring stuff, but we’re easing back into things. Taking it slow. Working our way back to Lizzie’s and Night City. It feels so natural, talking to you like this. Like I could do it for another six hours and not even be phased. I just love chatting with you. We’ve both been through so much. Together and apart....
“I should get going. I’m gonna go visit my granny at the hospital.”
“Tell her I said hi. She probably doesn't even remember me, does she?"
You look at me curiously. “Huh? Of course she remembers you. After all, I talked about you every day.”
“Well, I’ll text you when I’m getting ready to leave. Bye, Jude.”
“Bye, V.”
As I go to hang up, you say, “Calabacita?”
“Uh-huh?”
“I miss you. I-I love you.”
(....I feel high. I actually touch my chest, blow you a single kiss.)
“Love and miss you. Bye….”
II.
(32 Hours Later)
(Judy, Seattle)
….I can’t believe I’m this nervous! You’d think I was meeting V for the first time in my life, like a blind date or something!
I’m downstairs in the living room, pacing back and forth. She just texted that she’s on her way. I go to the kitchen, turn on the faucet and run my cigarette under the water.
Just then, I hear a soft, restrained knock….
You made it. You fuckin’ made it.
I sprint to the front door and fling it open.
(Oh, V. Oh, you look fuckin’ amazing. You’re standing there in a pair of tight blue jeans, and a button down blouse. Your short hair and makeup are fuckin' perfect. You’re wearing a hoop ring in your nose, and a bunch of other jewelry.)
You’re so beautiful…. I can’t believe how quickly my mood changes the second I see your face….
You murmur, “Heyyyy, Jude. I’m he—”
I don’t wait for you to finish. I just throw my arms around you and hold you close. I start crying. I was repressing so many emotions these past few months, since Lizzie’s, that it’s such a relief to finally let them all out….
“Mi calabacita. God, you smell you so fucking good. Awww, V. I missed you so damn much….”
“Same….”
We stand on the front porch, locked in the tightest embrace. I can feel your hands moving up and down on my back.
It’s the exact same feeling I felt at Lizzie’s. Like I never, ever want you to let me go. As if reading my mind, you say, “I don’t wanna let you go.”
I’m so emotional, but I laugh and whisper, “Was literally just thinkin’ the same thing. Come on in. Make yourself comfortable.”
But neither of us move. We stay locked together.
(The heart wants what the heart wants….)
Notes:
Next: Jude & V deepen their connection. Outside forces threaten the fragile calm of their reunion. Bianca's persistent. Sarah remembers where V hid the spare key to her apartment, so she does a little redecorating....
Chapter 22: Facets Of Guilt
Summary:
Judy's been keeping a secret. She's afraid to tell V the truth. If the foundations of their relationship are weak, how can they expect things to work out? There's growing pains, especially when it comes to residual feelings and emotions. Meanwhile, Sarah lets herself into V's apartment, while Bianca reflects on how to make her marriage work. She looks back to a particular night she and Judy spent together. Are things really what they seem? Are V & Jude playing against a stacked deck?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(V & Judy. Seattle, Washington)
(Judy, thinking....)
Hey. You ended up falling asleep on the couch with your feet in my lap. I was giving you the best damn foot massage. Rubbing, kneading the joints, working the tightness out. I practically had you purring. I love your feet, calabacita. They’re so tiny, but I can tell how hard you must’ve worked them when you were a mercenary. There’s places where the skin is rough, near your ankles and heels, but there’s also places where it’s so soft, like between your toes….
I don’t know how long we've been on the couch. I don’t wanna disturb you. You’re so tired from your flight. You moan softly and turn over on your side. I steal a look at your butt and think of what Sarah told me over the holo.
You have the best ass I’ve ever seen in my life and knowing you let her do all those things really, really bugs me!
I’m jealous!
We never did that kind of stuff.
I didn’t really know you were into all that but now that I do, count me in!
You yawn, open your eyes and look at me….
“Mmph, why’d you stop? Keep going. Pretty please? With sugar on top?”
(Ugh, V. So cute! How can I ever say no to you?)
“Okay, okay.” I start up again and a minute later, I can hear you snoring lightly….
(Everything feels so right. But I’ve been keeping a secret. I haven’t been completely honest. I’m so afraid to tell V that I saw Bianca the night before I flew out here. She asked me to stop by the house. And I did…. Ummm, we ended up talking late into the night. One thing led to another and we slept together a bunch of times. Ever since then, I’ve felt terrible, just terrible. I left our old house in tears, overwhelmed by the situation. How am I ever gonna tell her the truth? I’m so scared she’s gonna leave and never talk to me again.)
Eventually, I close my eyes and pass out….
I have weird dreams of which I can remember only fragments and pieces. I was in a nightclub, somewhere along a dead-end street in Night City. The music’s loud. It’s hot. Everyone’s sweating, dancing close. Bodies pumping and grinding against each other. The DJ’s spinning the preemest tunes and the strobe lights are blinking a million times a minute….
I notice someone close to me, vibing to the music. We’re moving up and down, as one. I feel so sexy, so turned on. It’s hard to tell how hot or cold it is in dreams, isn't it?
There’s a girl dancing next to me. Gorgeous body, long, tan legs, wearing cut-off jean shorts and a white tank top. Long, bright blue hair, covered in tattoos. Every time I try to catch a glimpse of her face, she turns away.
Is it you, calabacita?
Baby, is it you?
Are we back to that secret place?
Only in dreams, hmmm?
Well, I guess it's better than nothing....
The music’s so loud. Trance, techno, electronic.
Then it quiets down and the DJ spins a nova beat. Chillwave....
Me and the strange girl start grinding on the dance floor, rubbing our bodies up and down.
There’s hundreds of people, or maybe it’s only us.
But then the scene completely shifts and I’m alone in a huge, dark and scary building. I’m trying to find the girl from the club. There’s so many rooms, hallways, corridors but everything’s empty. It’s like an abandoned hospital or something.
I panic and try to run but again, in dreams, sometimes it doesn’t matter how fast you think you're moving, you're almost frozen between steps....
My legs move in super slow motion. I’m crying. I lost her. She’s gone. I can’t find her.
She disappears forever....
II.
I wake up suddenly and breathe deep. Look down to see that V's still asleep, a barely imperceptible smile on her face.
How do I tell her about Bianca? What do I say? That it was only once? Does that even matter?
(Fuck, Judy. You gotta handle this sooner rather than later. The more time that passes. The harder it’s gonna be to come clean, to admit the truth.)
I feel your toes moving in my hand. You’re looking at me with the most beautiful blue eyes.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, wriggling your toes. (Come on! What’d you stop for?).
(I can’t do this. Not now. I can’t tell her. Not yet. She just got here.)
“Nothing,” I say too enthusiastically. You’re still staring at me. You know I’m holding something back. You sit up and lay your head on my shoulder.
“Tell me, leelou bean. Talk to me.”
I close my eyes, shake my head. These gestures upset you more because now you know something’s up….
“V…. Y-You just got here. Nothing’s wrong. I-I’m just a little stressed.”
“Judy, you’re a terrible liar. Did anyone ever tell you that? What’s going on?”
(As a matter of fact, they have….)
I take your hands in mine, lick my lips and squeeze your fingers.
“You know I love you, right?”
“Uh-oh. Jesus Christ, Jude. Now you’re really scaring me. Come on, baby.”
Our eyes meet and I almost have to turn away. This is so fucking hard….
“The night before I left to fly out here, I, ummm, I saw Bianca. She pinged me and asked me to stop by the house just to say goodbye.”
You’re staring at me. Mouth closed. Run a hand through your hair and sigh worriedly. “Uh-huh.”
“S-So I did. We ummm, we talked. Talked about a lot of things. Talked ab—”
“But that’s not all you did, is it, Jude?”
Sadly, I shake my head from side to side. “No,” I say in the lightest tone of voice I can.
You inhale sharply, like I knocked the wind out of you…. “Goddammit, Judy. Now? Baby, now?”
“Calabacita, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t call me that.” You’re seething. “How many times?”
“V, come on.”
“What? How many times? All night?”
“No. A few.”
“So more than once, huh? You know what, Judy? Fuck you, okay? Just fuck you.”
You get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen. I can hear you sniffling. Slowly, I get up and go to you. I come up from behind.
“Can I hold you?”
“No, I’m hurt! How could you wait until I fly halfway across the world to see you. I’m not even here for a day and you lay this on me. Judy, do you realize how bad that hurts?”
“I know.”
You spin around. “No. You don’t know. I thought you and her were separated.”
“We are.”
“Then why?”
“Weakness. Guilt.”
“Oh bullshit, you know, Judy? Bullshit. Why don’t you just tell me the truth? I’d respect you more. You wanted to fuck her, didn’t you? Huh? I’m so fuckin’ pissed off at you, ya know that?”
“Well what about you?”
“What about me?”
“You, Sarah. All the shit she told me.” We stand there panting. We’re both upset. I put out my hands, palms up and wave you in. “Come here. Please?”
“No,” you say in a bitchy voice, crossing your arms.
“Come on, let me hold you.”
You give me a dirty look, but come a little closer. “I’m still pissed, ya know.”
“I know. Me too. Now get over here, will you?”
You come into my arms and I hold you tenderly, playing with your hair. Smoothing it out, tucking it behind your ears.
You nuzzle underneath my neck. I can feel your breath on my skin. “Can we make a promise to each other? Right here? Right now?”
“Yeah, V. Sure.”
“No more fucking other women while we’re trying to work on us. Promise?”
I kiss the top of your head. Your hair smells delicious. Rest my chin there.
“Or men, V. Come on, let’s be fair here.” I smile.
“Ugh, fine. Shit, I thought you’d forget. Damn.”
We laugh and it feels good. But have I told you everything? At the same time, we whisper….
“Promise….”
III.
(Sarah, Spain)
….I can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Manic! So so up and down! Called out of work again today! Think about her every second of the day. Making love to her. The way she tastes. The way she looks when she’s coming. The smell of her sweaty body. Licking her everywhere. Climaxing together. Fucking her all night long. I can’t stop. I masturbate as often as I can, but it doesn’t help.
OH MY GOD. OH FUCK. I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING….
Her spare key. I could go back. Lie in her bed. Smell the sheets. Sleep where we slept. Remember all the different places we had sex.
The vibrators, the rubber cocks. God, it’s all back there….
I jump out of my own little cot and throw on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Hop in my car and race over to her apartment.
Park down the street. I hope she didn’t tell any of her neighbors she was leaving. Fuck it, I can’t think about that now….
Get out of my car and run the last half-block. Reach her door, look to the left, underneath the fake rock….
YES!
Nervously, I put the key in the hole and turn….
IT WORKED!
I’M BACK! THE PLACE IS MINE!
I run into the bedroom and dive onto the mattress. Sheets and blankets are all over. I grab a bunch of covers, ball them up, and hold them up to my nose. I inhale deeply. Mmmm, perfect. I can still smell us in the bedding. I knew she’d forget to do the wash....
Reach underneath the bed and grope around for our favorite toys. Preem, everything's still here....
I’m gonna have so much fun tonight thinking of all our crazy nights together!
I can't wait to rub all over the blankets. Shove 'em between my legs and grind on them. God! How nova!
IV.
(Bianca, Pittsburgh)
….I think we can make it work. No, I know we can. Judy’s just confused but if the other night was any indication of her true feelings, then I think she’s gonna come back. It was easily one of our most passionate, romantic experiences. She couldn’t get enough of me. I'd forgotten how insatiable she was. We made love all night long. It was incredible. We bonded on such a deep, deep level. I know it wasn’t just sex.
The one thing that bothered me was when we woke up the next morning, Judy couldn’t stop crying. She kept saying she was fine. Just emotional. She left soon after. I hope it didn’t have anything to do with her residual feelings for V....
I don’t think it did. I think she’d just forgotten how good it is when she and I are firing on all cylinders. I can’t wait to see her again. Still wondering whether or not I should follow through with my plan to fly out to her grandmother’s and surprise her. I think she'd be so happy to see me….
Maybe, maybe not....
Notes:
Next: Valerie, Judy and all of the ups and downs of their second chance. Is it foolish to think love exists in a vacuum? There's other women to consider. Other feelings, thoughts, dreams, and nightmares?
Chapter 23: Ache....
Summary:
V arrives in Seattle and everything starts off fine. But then, during their first intimate encounter since Night City, Judy hurts V and things get weird really fast. Obviously, Jude feels terrible. How could she hurt the one woman she loves more than anyone in the world? V's shaken and confused. She comes to the realization that jealousy is to blame for Judy's reckless, rough behavior.
At least that's what V hopes it is....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. (Seattle)
(Judy)
….I lift you off the couch and carry you upstairs. It’s okay, calabacita. You’re not heavy. I bring you to the master bedroom and set you down gently.
You stir….
“Mmmm, Hi,” you murmur in your raspy voice.
“Hey, V.”
“Did you carry me upstairs.”
“Guilty as charged.” I smile.
“Was I heavy?”
“Nah. You were fine.”
You’re looking up at me, tired, ragged, beautiful. I lean down and kiss you as gently as I can. Lips damp, they stick. You moan.
“Do that again, Judy.”
“Okay….”
15 minutes later, we’re both nude, under the blankets (Yes! I changed the sheets!). You’re on top of me. My hands have a tight grip on your preem butt. I’m moving you up and down against me. We’re staring into each other’s eyes, smiling, making love.
Feeling you, your heat. These chemical reactions, rush of dopamine, scent of your body sticking to mine. I can feel the wiry, curly hair between your legs brushing my skin. You let it grow wild and lush. It tickles and excites me so much.
“B-Bend your knees, ride my face, V. C’mon, I want you so fuckin’ bad right now, I’m gonna come.”
“Kay, give me a sec.”
Moments later, my mouth’s less than an inch away from your pussy. I catch a fantastic subtle whiff of your most enchanting, alluring areas. So organic, natural. A sweet, earthy edge.
You collide with the tip of my tongue, as I paint lazy circles around your clit. You throw your head back and gasp with with delight. I feel my own wetness. I reach down and start touching myself. I look up to see you cupping your breasts, nodding, whispering, “Come on, come on….”
“V,” I mumble, sucking softly on your skin. “T-Turn around. Let's sixty-nine...."
“Mmph, k-kay.”
You spin, in slow motion. I feel your tongue part my lips, as we dive into each other. The sounds grow louder, the movements, more frenetic. It feels incredible....
I open my eyes, and catch a glimpse of your tight, tiny, perfect hole. But then I think of Sarah, and it makes me so mad! I start poking it with my tongue. You like it because I can feel you speeding up, gripping my thighs, whimpering softly. Is this what she did? Huh, V? Is it? I spread your butt, and focus all my energy on that specific place. Pushing, licking, kissing. You turn your head and rest it on my leg.
“F-Fuck, Judy. Y-You’re gonna make come. Keep going. Don’t stop.”
I put two fingers in my mouth and coat them with saliva. I push them in your ass, and you bite down on my leg and start panting loudly.
“You like that, huh?” I ask, breathless, so upset at these images of you and Sarah in my head. It's all I can see! I mean, all night long, V? Really? I’m pushing harder, faster, rougher….
You whisper, "A-Ahhh. E-Easy, baby. S-Slower. Be gentle. Easy. Ahhh, Ah. U-Uh-huh, uh-huh. Fuck."
(But I'm not listening. I'm lost in a fog of anger and bitterness. I do something that I regret for a long, long time afterward. I end up ruining this moment between us forever. I don’t know why. Jealousy? Envy? Sadness? Resentment? Maybe a combination of all four?)
I take a third finger and thrust it roughly into your rear end. You cry out in pain and immediately roll off of me. You start crying into your pillow, throwing a blanket over yourself and curling up into a ball.
I’m horrified! I can’t believe that just happened…. I’m so fucking upset. Did I hurt you, V? I did, didn't I?
“Oh my god," I whisper, frantic. "Baby? V? I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m so fucking sorry. Oh shit, V? Awww, shit." I feel like crawling under a rock and dying. Of all the people in my life, I hurt the one I love the most…. You don't answer. You just stay curled in a ball, crying. I lightly touch your outline. “V? I’m so sorry. I-I don’t what happened. I-I lost control. I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you like that….”
II.
Valerie.
....What the fuck was that just now? Everything was going so well. So intense. Something came over Jude and she hurt me! I don’t know whether or not it was on purpose. I pray that it wasn’t. Pray that it was just an accident. Nothing like that ever happened before! I’m still hiding under the covers. I can’t look at her. I feel her hand on the sheets, lightly squeezing me. But she hurt me. I wasn’t ready for what she did. My body wasn’t ready and it hurt. It was too much, too fast. I can’t stop crying. How could she do that to me?
“V? V? I’m so sorry. God, I feel fucking awful. Please, please say something? Are you okay? I don’t know what happened. I swear.”
(I do, Judy Alvarez. You’re still upset about your convo with Sarah. Jealous, bitter and angry. You let that jealousy manifest into something physical and now I’m so shocked by your actions.)
“H-How could you hurt me like that, Jude?” I whisper, profoundly sad. I can hear you crying hard.
“I swear to god it was an accident. You know me, baby. I would never, ever in a million years hurt you in that way. You know me, V. It was a stupid, stupid accident. I’m so sorry...."
I lift the blanket off my head and stare at you with a hurt expression.
"Judy. I mean, w-what the fuck? You can’t shove three fingers up my ass like that. Not without a whole bunch of foreplay first. I’m bleeding, baby! C’mon, I know you know better than that. What did you think was gonna happen? Or were you not even fuckin' thinking?"
"No, I-I wasn't. W-Wasn't thinking. I-I don’t have an explanation…." You catch your breath long enough to tell me something I'm not really surprised by. "No, no that’s not true. It-It was Sarah. S-She told me all these things the two of you did, and-and I was so jealous, so bitter, b-because you never even let me do some of those things. I-I was so jealous, V but that’s no excuse. I’m so sorry. I feel awful, baby. You know I would never hurt you. Never. Never, ever hurt you….”
“Why didn’t you come and talk to me about it, first? Most of it probably wasn’t even true. C’mon, Judy. She’s young. She was mad at me for coming out here and she did exactly what she set out to do, which was to get under your skin. She won. You know that, don’t you? You let her win….”
“I know. I’ve been so fucked up ever since she fuckin’ called. V, please. Can you forgive me? Please? I swear to god it was an accident.”
(I know Judy would never hurt me on purpose. I know she feels terrible.)
“C’mere,” I say, lifting the blanket. “I guess I can forgive you.”
This gesture makes her even more upset. Jude crawls under the heavy quilts and holds me, gently rocking me back and forth.
“S-Sorry, calabacita. I swear to god. I’ll never hurt you again. I love you, I’m so sorry.”
“Apology accepted…. I just wanna fall asleep, okay? Let’s talk in the morning."
“Okay….”
….Sometime in the night, I awake and wince. Ouch, I’m all sore down there. I look over at you, resting, at peace. I get up to use the bathroom. I have to pee.
I’m sitting on the toilet, in a daze, thinking of everything. Bianca, Judy, Sarah, Night City, Spain, Seattle….
There’s a knock at the door.
“C-Can I come in?”
I can tell you’re still upset….
“Uh-huh.”
You open the door and see me sitting there.
“You okay?” You whisper softly, tears in your eyes.
“Just a little sore. I’m okay.”
“V, I’m so so sorry. I feel awful that happened.”
“I know, Jude. It’s okay.”
I stand up, wipe and flush the toilet.
“Wanna come back to bed?” You ask.
“Yeah, preem."
You reach out and hold me by the arm and ask, “V, did you lose feelings for me?”
I stare at you. I’m trying to gauge what’s going on behind those big, brown, endless eyes.
“No, I’m just sad, Jude. Sad about a lot of things. I thought it would be different. Me coming out here. I thought everything was gonna be happiness, color, light.”
“I feel like such a fuckin’ asshole.”
“I know you didn’t mean it. I’ll be alright.”
….We walk back to your abuela’s room. Awkwardly, I get back into bed. You’re looking at me with a concerned expression.
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” You ask sincerely. “Anything?”
“Jude, it’s okay.”
“V, I’m so screwed up over this. I want you to feel safe around me. Do you?”
I smile. “Yeah, I do, baby. Just hold me, alright?”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
(Gingerly, you slide in next to me. We spoon. You on the outside, me on the inside. Your movements are tentative, cautious. You hold me, but I can tell you’re afraid to get too close.)
“I love you, V. Baby, I-I feel so bad I hurt you before.”
“Jude, I know it was an accident. It’s okay. ‘Night.”
“Night, calabacita.”
....Later on, I open my eyes again. It's the deepest part of the night. Check my phone. It’s 3:42 am. You’re not here. This house is still unfamiliar to me, so I’m a little scared to go and look for you.
“Jude? Are you here? Jude?” I get out of bed slowly. It’s dark. “Jude?”
I go out into the hallway. The bathroom door’s shut, but light tumbles out through the bottom. I knock and listen. I can hear you blowing your nose.
“C-Come in.”
As soon as I walk in, I'm confronted by you sitting on the floor, a roll of toilet paper next to you, and a little wastebasket filled with more used toilet paper from all the times you blew your nose.
“Judy.”
“V, I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I was jealous. I am jealous of Sarah. I’m upset with myself. I ruined our reunion. Ruined it.”
“Can I sit down?”
“Sure.”
I sidle up next to you. Our backs are against the tub. “Judy. I know. I know you were internalizing about me and her. I know you were upset. I don’t think you meant to hurt me…. Did you?”
"No! God no! Baby, no. I don’t know what to say. It was so stupid. Stupid! I can’t believe I’m 35 years old, and I acted that way. I’m just really scared you lost love for me. Did you?"
I sigh, bittersweetly. “Uh-uh. No. I’d tell you if I did. I promise. I love you, Jude. That's forever. Let’s just call it a freak accident, okay? What happened before? Alright?"
“You sure?”
“Yes. I'm sure. Now, let’s move on. No more talking about it, yeah?"
“Yeah, okay.”
“Come on. Bring me back to bed. I still don’t know my way around. Don’t leave me alone again, ‘kay leelou bean?”
“Okay, I won't"
….We sleep until mid-morning. We try to be nice to each other. Extra careful of what we say and do.
You make me breakfast, and things are good. I sit in your lap at the kitchen table. I nuzzle under your neck.
I want the simple things in life because at the end of the day….
(I just want us to fall in love again. That’s not too much to ask, is it?)
Notes:
Next: Naturally, reconnection takes time, especially when there's a breach of trust. Judy struggles with her own immense guilt over her reckless, irresponsible behavior.
V receives a picture from an unknown number....
Chapter 24: Hit The Restart Button
Summary:
Maybe V & Jude have been going about things all wrong. Maybe they need to stop trying to live up to these versions of themselves that no longer hold any meaning. 2077 was a long, long time ago and a lot has changed. It's hard to dwell in the past. Maybe the key is to start all over, back at square one....
To talk, get to know one another again. Rediscover all the reasons that made them fall in love in the first place. No Bianca, no Sarah. No Pittsburgh or Spain.
Just the two of them. Bonding.... Falling in love all over again.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Seattle, WA)
….The next few days are odd.
We spend them cleaning abuela’s house, hanging out in the living room, eating and shopping.
Judy confides in me that she’s broke, having spent all her money on her grandmother’s medical bills.
I don’t mind helping. I pay for groceries and other day to day expenses. I wanna help her.
The weirdest times are at night, right before bed.
We haven’t been intimate since that fucked up thing happened.
That was three days ago now.
I can tell she still feels terrible.
She hurt me while we were making love and we haven’t attempted sex since.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready yet either.
I’m getting my period in a day or two so I’m all over the place.
Horny one minute, indifferent the next….
Jude tries to be affectionate but we’re just not clicking.
We lost our rhythm, our unique vibe.
I’m kinda bummed.
I assumed things would be so different when I flew out here….
Maybe we just need a little time to get back into the swing of things; to find ourselves again.
Who knows?
(The Following Morning)
….I wake up first.
Cramps.
Fuck….
I go downstairs and put on a pot of coffee.
When I check my holo, there’s a text message from a number I’ve never seen before.
When I click on it, I drop my phone in shock. It’s a picture, and it takes my breath away….
It’s my fucking bedroom!
What the fuck?
And it’s a mess!
Sheets, blankets, quilts, and comforters thrown everywhere around the room!
My dirty clothes?
Someone took everything out of my hamper and just scattered it everywhere.
Oh fuck.
I can see my underwear, shirts, pants, everything.
All over the place.
Should I fly back home?
Call the police?
Neither?
Both?
(Did someone break into my fucking apartment?)
I start to panic, thinking if there’s anything of real value inside.
I don’t think so but I could be forgetting something.
This fucking sucks.
I don’t even know what time it is there.
Shit!
I still have a few friends in FIA.
I’m gonna see if any of them can run a trace on the number.
Maybe they can find out something.
I’m trying not to panic.
This is great, just fucking great.
I’m thousands of miles away from home and someone’s looking through my bedroom?
I start texting my contacts, asking for help, forwarding them the strange number.
(Please, please help! I’m so far away from home!)
II.
(Sarah, Spain. V’s Apartment)
….HAHA! Serves you right V! That’s what you get for leaving me!
Hope that gets her back here! She’s probably freaking out right now!
I’ve been lounging around her apartment for days.
Getting take-out, sleeping, partying with myself!
Watching movies, TV.
I’m having the time of my life!
At night, I lie in OUR bed and touch myself, thinking about her and all the preem times she and I spent in this very room, having the best sex of our lives!
Uhhhhhhh….
Uh-oh…. Shit.
I just realized something. I should probably delta, huh?
She’s probably running a trace on that stolen throwaway holophone I picked up yesterday downtown in the black market.
Fuck. I gotta destroy it before they get a hold of the signal.
I look around once more….
Her apartment’s a fuckin’ disaster!
Dishes, silverware, garbage all over!
Clothes, books, magazines, strewn all over the floor….
A pang of guilt hits me.
I love V.
I’m in love with her.
I didn’t want to do this, but she left me no choice.
If she ever finds out it was me, that’s gonna be the end of us.
I throw on a pair of her panties, sweatpants and one of her tank-tops.
Grab the spare key and stuff it in my pocket.
Take the two holophones and get the fuck out before the cops or anyone else shows up!
Bye V!
It’s been nova!
Can’t wait to see you when you get back, girl!
III.
(Judy)
….Three days and I still feel fuckin’ awful over what I did.
If anything, I love V more. She’s been so cool. So understanding.
She helps with the expenses. Food, bills, incidentals.
But it’s not only that. She’s my best choom.
Listens to me vent about abuela and her situation.
Holds my hand as I talk about Bianca and the uncertainty of our future.
I’ve just been real down on myself. I’m in a funk, a rut, and time’s passing.
We’re not getting any younger.
V got a month off from work but she said that’s it. After that, she’ll be out of vacation time. She’s gotta go back to Spain. She said if we wanna see each other again, it’s gotta be me going there, not the other way around.
She’s awake. I can hear her downstairs, can smell the coffee.
The two of us....
Where do we stand?
Bianca’s been more and more persistent lately about wanting to give our marriage another chance.
She doesn’t want to get divorced.
She wants to try to make it work….
But what do I want?
I want V. I want to be with her.
I love her with all my heart. And the fact that I hurt her still fucks me up.
“JUDY! YOU UP? COFFEE’S READY! C’MON!”
“YEP. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!”
I stumble out of bed, and make my way downstairs.
V’s in the kitchen, with her back turned. When she hears me, she spins around and I can tell by the look on her face, something’s wrong.
“Morning, Jude.”
“Hey, morning. What’s up?”
“I don’t know, but I think someone broke into my apartment.”
“What? H-How do you know? What happened?”
“Look at this picture that was sent to my holo this morning.”
I walk over, cautiously. When I’m close, we don’t hug, or kiss. She holds the phone up for me to get a better look. I’ve never seen V’s apartment before, so I don’t know what I’m lookin’ at but wherever it is, it’s like a tornado swept through the place. There’s clothes, dishes, food everywhere. Like someone threw a wild party and just forgot to clean up.
“Oh, shit. Is that your bedroom?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think it’s recent?”
“Uh-huh. Other than when I came back to NC for Lizzie’s, I’ve never been away from home. It’s gotta be since I came to Seattle.”
“Can you call the police?”
“I can, but then I just feel like I’m gonna have to fly back home. Paperwork, information, questions, answers. All that fucking bullshit. They’re gonna want me to come home.”
(Inside, I wince. I feel a pain in my stomach. No…. I don’t want you to go already. It hasn’t even been a week.)
“Oh, shit. Y-You still have over three more weeks here. Oh, V. I don’t want you to leave. Isn’t there anything else we can do?”
“So I called in a few favors from some of my friends still with the FIA. I have a couple people looking into it. I’m gonna wait and see what they say. If they can’t find anything, and they think I should fly home, then I might have to. I don’t know what else to do.”
This time, we meet in the center of the room, and hold one another. I run my hands through your hair. I can tell you’re nervous….
(Then, all of a sudden, it hits me….)
“V, did you give a key to Sarah? Would she have access to your place at all?”
Your breath catches in your throat.
“Oh my god, Jude. Fuck, I didn’t give her a key but she knows where I keep the spare. Right outside my front door, underneath a fake rock. FUCK! I bet she fucking went back, took the key, and fucked with my place. Oh shit, Jude. I didn’t even think of that. It makes perfect sense though.”
“What should we do? You said you didn’t recognize the number, right?”
“Right, but if I had a name to give my contacts, it might be easier to connect everything to her somehow. Maybe they could find out if/when she bought another phone. This makes perfect sense.”
“V, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“She seems a little crazy. Did you know this was her personality going into things?”
“No, Jude. Like I said, we were work chooms, colleagues, friends. She asked me out a while ago. I said no. I wasn’t looking to date, but that I’d like to be friends. She seemed so cool, always had good advice. We did grow close. I-I trusted her. It all started going downhill the moment we decided to be intimate. Once we started sleeping together, she changed, for the worse….”
“Maybe you should ping her, V. Talk to her. See if you can get a read on her demeanor. Maybe she’s hiding something, ya know?”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. FUCK! This is just what I need! Ugh!"
Then you surprise me by holding me and nuzzling under my chin. I close my eyes. It’s the best feeling in the world, to feel your warmth….
“Awww you okay, V?”
“We took a wrong turn somewhere, didn’t we, Jude?”
“Yeah, we did, calabacita.”
“Did we lose the map? The map on how to get back to where we were?”
“Maybe that’s our problem?”
You look up at me and cock your eyebrow. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“Maybe we spend so much time trying to recapture this idealized version of ourselves from the past, that we miss out on the present and we just end up letting all this time pass us by. Maybe we should just start all the way back at square one. Back at the beginning. I mean, we’ve barely seen one another in the last ten years. Maybe we have to start moving forward. Ahhh, I don’t know.”
(And then you do something that makes me realize why I love you so damn much. You stick out your hand and say….)
“Hi! I’m V. Nice to meet you!”
I shake it warmly and answer, “Hey, V. I’m Judy.”
(….And then we spend the next hour talking. Just talking. We don’t harbor guilt, jealousy, or resentment. We don’t dwell in sadness or think about all the, “woulda, coulda, shouldas.” We don’t second-guess our choices, our decisions. We just talk, bond. Spend time together....)
You make breakfast and we laugh. We’d forgotten what it was like to laugh. To be carefree, to smile….
We spend the day living in the moment, and it feels so much better this way. No pressure to live up to what we were back in 2077….
We sit out on the back porch swing, my head, resting on your shoulder, drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and getting to know one another all over again….
And we don’t have to remember everything, because we make new memories….
This is a start….
A really, really good start.
Notes:
Next: Growing closer, finding comfort in each other's company. Forget everything else and focus on the here and now. No more jealousies, regrets, second guesses, or pressure to be who they no longer are....
Chapter 25: Song
Summary:
V & Jude take a drive past the outskirts of the city. They wanna get lost. Maybe that's what they need to find themselves all over again.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(V, Seattle. The Next Day)
“....Sarah?”
“V? Uhhh, H-Hey….”
“What’s up? How's it going?"
“N-Nothing. Just, n-nothing. Hangin’ out, watching TV. I-I'm good."
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“No reason. You just seem a little nervous, on edge.”
“I am. I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you, V. Are you still in Seattle?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Oh, preem.”
“Sarah, you got a second to talk?”
“Mhmm.”
“So, yesterday morning. I got a weird message from an unknown number.”
“Uhhh, yeah? Okay?”
“It was a picture.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Do you know what of?”
“No? How would I know?”
(I study your expression, trying to gauge your reaction. You’re a good liar, Sarah. I’ll give you that….)
“It was my bedroom.”
“Y-Your bedroom?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Ohhhh.”
“Yeah, and you know what else?”
“N-No. What else?”
“It was a fucking mess. Food, clothes, dishes, garbage everywhere. Almost like someone was crashing at my place and they forgot to clean up!”
“Awww, that sucks.”
“Yeah, it does. Suck…. Sarah.”
“What, V."
“I haven’t called the police yet. I’m about to. Is there anything you wanna tell me before I call?”
“Huh? N-No! What? Why would I? What-What do you mean?”
“I think you know what I mean. You were always such a good friend to me. Do you really wanna throw all that away?”
(You inhale sharply and start shaking your head.)
"Fuck. I was hurt. I am hurt. I love you, a-and you used me. S-So I found the spare key and I-I went back inside your apartment and I stayed there for a few days. Because I miss you. Miss what we had. All the preem times we spent at your place. I’m like, really sorry.”
(I wanna hate you, Sarah. But I can’t because you did help me and when I was all alone, and I needed someone to talk to, you were always there for me.)
“Why didn’t you come to me? Why this? Why wreck my place? Wish you would've talked to me."
“I tried! I didn’t think you cared anymore. I was jealous of Judy. I told her a bunch of really private, personal shit. I made a lot of it up. I wanted to make her jealous of us. I know I already told you but I’m really fucked up, V. I fucking fell in love with you.”
“Sarah. I don’t know what to do. I just got here. When I get home, we can talk, okay? I promise."
“V, I’m really sorry. I’m screwed up. I have issues, haha, as I’m sure you probably already know. I can go back to your place and clean everything up. And then I promise I won’t mess around with any of your stuff again.”
“Can I trust you? I mean, do you need a chaperone to go with you?”
(We smile at one another. You blush. I can’t hate you, Sar. Your energy, your passion; those are some of the things that drew me to you)
“You can trust me, V. I promise.”
“Send me a picture when you finish.”
“V, I’m sorry.”
(I stare at your image and think of how hard it is to navigate through sex, relationships, love. We’re all just trying to survive in this fucked up world. We constantly make mistakes. I'm no different. You smile at me, shrug your shoulders and mouth, “I’m sorry.” I whisper back, “It’s okay.”)
II.
(Judy/V)
(You come in through the back door. Calabacita, you look like you’re in a daze.)
“How’d it go?"
“Good. We, uhhh, we worked something out. It’s gonna be okay.”
(….I study you curiously. You worked something out? What the hell’s that mean?)
“Ummm, okay? So did she admit to it?”
“Yeah, she did.”
“Aren’t you gonna call the police? Have her arrested for breaking and entering? Trespassing?”
“Nah, Jude. That’s not necessary. She knows she fucked up. She apologized. Why punish her?”
“Wow. That’s not at all what I thought you’d say. V, I mean, come on! She should know not to ever do anything like that again!”
(You come up to me and caress my cheek. Your hand is warm. I feel life coursing through it.)
“Jude, remember how nova it was yesterday? Just the two of us? Living in the moment. No bitterness, or anxiety? Don’t worry about Sarah. She’s not stupid. Maybe I could’ve been better too, ya know? Forget about her. Let’s focus on us, okay?”
“O-Okay. You’re right.”
We decide to take a ride and visit mi abuela. It’s nice. As soon as she sees V, her eyes light up and she smiles broadly. She knows I never stopped loving her. My granny knows she was always my first true love.
We stay for a few hours. Talking, catching up. Her rehab’s coming along nicely. In another week, she’s most likely gonna be coming home.
Afterwards, we go and have lunch. It’s nice. I’m embarrassed because I’m completely broke. Pretty soon, I’m gonna have to ask Bianca for some money.
“She looks good, Jude. For 80? She looks really good.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, V. She can’t get around like she used to.”
“I mean, that’s understandable, right?”
“I guess.”
“What’s the matter? You seem a little down in the dumps. Anything you wanna talk about?”
“You wanna take a ride? Just get lost? I don’t know my way around Seattle.”
“Ummm, sure. Definitely. Let’s do it.”
(....We leave the restaurant and just start driving. No maps, directions, holophones, or AI assistance. We just go where our instincts take us)
We end up somewhere off the beaten path. We’re in the woods. There’s a small pond. We hear something so rare, we almost don’t believe our ears….
Birdsong.
In the trees, all around us. It sounds glorious. We stop, pull the car over and get out.
“Want me to grab the blanket?” I ask.
“Preem.”
I fix us a nice spot. We lie on the ground, listening to all the chirping, and whistling. We’re on our backs. You turn over on your side and cuddle up close to me. You take my leg and put it between yours. Then you start rubbing gently. I don’t move a muscle. I just close my eyes.
Moments later, I hear you moaning so softly, so beautifully, but I don’t move. V, you have the sweetest, sweetest sounding voice I’ve ever heard. This is your way of letting me back in. You’re opening yourself up to me. I don’t rush the moment. I wait for you to guide me in.
Sure enough, a few seconds later, I feel your two fingers moving across my lips. Softly, you open my mouth, and gently push them in. I suck on them, still frozen, eyes closed, feeling you move against my leg.
We don’t say a word. You’re learning to trust me again. You lean closer, still rubbing. I feel your lips on my cheek.
“Kiss me, Judy Alvarez,” you whisper so calmly, so lovingly.
All I do is turn my head to the side, keep my eyes closed, and touch my lips to yours. You speed up just a little bit, but then catch yourself and slow back down.
It’s cool outside but we’re both warm. Your breathing becomes heavier. Our lips are still touching.
Your hand reaches out and grabs hold of mine. You squeeze….
(I can’t help it. I have to tell you how I feel)
“I love you, V.”
You’re lost in your own world. You nod, eyes still shut and smile….
Squeeze my hand, speed up.
Rhythmic and gentle….
Soft collisions of touch,
faster now,
ache of lost years,
dissolving away in a strange forest somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.
Bittersweet time we’ll never get back.
All the tears that dried atop our pillows.
The ache of losing you for so long.
We're finding each other again.
I gasp as your hand brushes past my face.
“Look at me, leelou bean,” you whisper.
I open my eyes to see you staring at me, still rubbing.
“I wanna take care of you,” I find myself saying out loud. Something comes over me and my true feelings come flooding out. I lose control of my emotions. “I don’t ever wanna be apart from you. I want to love you for the rest of our lives.”
You just smile and start whimpering louder. I think you’re close. I stay still.
(....The feel of your lips against my skin. The smell of your body, breath, and pheromones. I lost you for ten years, calabacita. Never again. No, never again)
I feel you orgasm. It’s so tender, soft. You move with a kind of purposeful laziness. You don’t speak. You just cling to me, tightly. It only lasts for a few moments and then the energy dissipates into the atmosphere. You come to a gradual stop.
Breathing through your mouth, you nuzzle against my neck.
“I love you, Judy Alvarez….”
Seconds later, we fall asleep in the woods, on top of a thin blanket.
Just the two of us, while the rest of the world simply fades away.
(....And calabacita, I don't wanna wake up. I wanna dream with you forever....)
Notes:
Next: Each day, each moment is better than the one before. This must be what it feels like to fall in love with someone all over again. V is overjoyed. Judy's overwhelmed but so happy. Everything feels exactly right. Love weaves its way back into their hearts....
Chapter 26: Ups & Downs
Summary:
V & Judy are finally, finally clicking on all cylinders! Everything's preem! Nova! And V still has three weeks left of her trip to Seattle! Things just keep getting better and better!
But....
Someone decides to make a surprise visit, all the way from Pittsburgh, PA....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Seattle)
Judy
….Ever since that day in the woods, by the lake, we’re inseparable. Everything just keeps getting better and better!
This is exactly what we were both waiting for.
It’s nova!
All these feelings of falling in love again are hitting us at the same time!
Like a million arrows from cupid’s quiver!
We laugh, sleep, eat, walk, run, nap, listen to music, dance. Every day is a party. Every day it’s something new to enjoy and feel together….
I’ve never been happier.
And it’s not even the sex.
Sure, we started sleeping together again, but it’s so much more than that.
It’s the emotional connections that make this feel so good.
V’s been here for ten days and I’m so fucking high!
She’s got another three weeks left and we’re gonna have the time of our lives!
(Or so I thought….)
Just when I reach the pinnacle of joy, I get a ping from none other than my wife, telling me she’s here in Seattle!
I nearly drop dead from shock….
(Everything V and I worked for is once again hanging by a thread.)
“Y-You’re here? N-Now? Bianca, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Because I wanted to surprise you. I thought you’d be happy. I mean you must be bored, right? And Judee, our last night together was so incredible. So passionate. Don’t you wanna experience that again? What’s wrong? I don’t understand.”
“N-Nothing, it’s-it’s just, I’m so busy with abuela that I’m not even around that much.”
“I thought you said she’s still at the med center. She’s not even home yet, is she?”
(Oh fuck, I did say that, didn’t I? Shit….)
“S-She is, I mean, she’s not home, but-but I’m running back and forth, bringing her things she asks for. Books, knitting supplies. Food. I’m constantly on the go.”
“Preem! Well now, I can help!”
(You stare at my image on the holophone. I’m shaking my head in disbelief. Gradually, painfully, it starts to sink in.)
“Bianca. Listen. I ummm, I think we need to talk.”
I look away. And everything was going so well too!
“You’re not alone, are you?”
(I don’t answer. My silence speaks volumes….)
“V?” You ask, but I think you already know the answer….
“Goddamn you, Judee Alvarez. Goddamn you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did you tell me you were willing to work on our marriage before you left? Why did you f-fuck me all night long and then delta? T-To be with her?”
“I was confused. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
(You burst out laughing.)
“MISSION FAILED! GOD!"
“Please, Bianca. Let’s talk when I get ba—”
“I just got here! I’m not fucking going back home! What are you fucking nuts? Tell her to leave! I’m your fucking wife!”
“I can’t do that, Bianca. She lives in Spain.”
“SO! I don’t care if she lives on the fucking moon!”
“No, Bianca. I’m not telling her to leave.”
“I wanna meet her.”
“Absolutely not.”
“WHY? I wanna meet the girl who stole my fucking wife of eleven years. And how long did it take her? A day? Two?”
“Please, Bianca.”
“No, Judee! Fuck that! Please!” You spit the word back at me, sarcastically. “You gotta lotta fuckin’ nerve. You know that? I wanna meet her!”
(....At that moment, V comes downstairs. She’s heard enough to know what’s going on. Now, I’m really starting to panic. Our relationship is still in a very, very fragile, precarious state. One wrong move, word or action and everything we’ve built these past two weeks could come crashing down all around us….)
“What’s up, Jude? Is that Bianca?” V asks, shrugging her shoulders.
I nod and put my finger to my lips. “One sec,” I whisper.
V stands there, watching me, waiting to hear what I say….
“Judee. I wanna meet her. Is she there? Now? Ask her. Come on!”
I close my eyes in confusion. Without looking, I say, “V. Bianca’s here. In Seattle. She wanted to surprise me. I told her you were here, visiting from Spain. S–She wants to meet you.”
(I’m terrified to look at you. Slowly, I bring my head up to meet yours. You have a puzzled look on your face, like you’re not quite sure what’s happening.)
“She’s here? Now?” You whisper, and point to the ground. “H–Here, here?”
I sigh. “Yup.”
After what seems like an eternity, V stuns us both by saying, “Let’s have dinner. Out. We’ll find a nice restaurant. The three of us.”
“What?” I whisper, putting my hand over the holophone. “Wait. A–Are you serious?”
“Yeah. Come on, Jude. We can’t run away from our problems forever, can we? I don’t wanna live a lie. Do you?”
“No, no, you’re right.”
I take my hand away from the holo. Bianca’s glaring at me.
“Well?”
“V said, okay.”
My wife does a double take, like she didn’t hear me right.
“S-She did?”
“Yeah. Dinner. The three of us. Tonight. I’ll text you the detes, okay?”
“Judy, this better not be some weird trick.”
“It’s not.”
Bianca studies me for a long time, before she smiles and shakes her head up and down.
“Okay! I can’t wait! V and I have so much to talk about! I wanna know her secret power. The ability to annihilate marriages without a moment’s thought!”
(Oh no. This is gonna be a fucking disaster. Everything V and I have worked for, Bianca’s gonna try her hardest to destroy.)
This is all my fault, isn’t it?
If I would’ve been honest with her the night before I left, instead of giving her false hope, none of this would’ve happened.
Maybe I need to deal with the consequences of my immaturity. Maybe it’s finally time to face up to the responsibilities of being a mature adult.
Bianca hangs up the phone and then I look to see V eyeing me curiously.
“Am I gonna be surprised by anything tonight, Jude? You should probably tell me now. It would make things go a lot smoother.”
“N-No. No, it’s just stressful.”
(Still lying, eh, Jude? When you gonna learn, Ranita? You’re playing with fire. One day V might not be so forgiving. What happens when Bianca brings up your last night together?)
Notes:
Next: Time's running out on Judy Alvarez. She needs to decide once and for all who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Meanwhile, V questions some of her past choices.
Chapter 27: The Dance Of V & Judy (Pt. I)
Summary:
....Now begins the happiness! As they get ready for an awkward dinner date with Bianca, Judy gets emotional. She realizes how much she truly loves V, and therefore, doesn't want to waste another second....
A moment etched in time, but immortal, like V and Judy's love for one another....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Valerie, Seattle)
….We agree to meet Bianca at a high-end restaurant.
Am I nervous? Pfft, of course I’m nervous!
I still remember it like yesterday. Judy telling me over the holophone for the first time, back in 2079.
(What’s her name?
Bianca. But looks, character, nothing like you, at all….)
I take a gulp of water and stare at myself in the mirror. Figures I had to get my fucking period today. I’m a perfect storm of bitchiness, impatience, and annoyance.
I start putting on makeup, imagining what I’m going to say to her, or what she might say to me. She probably hates my fuckin’ guts. I mean, I have been sleeping with her wife. But that’s where it gets so confusing!
Judy wanted this from the start! I never held a gun to her head! Never twisted her arm into being intimate. Sure, I wanted her. But it takes two to tango. I’m not taking all the blame for the collapse of their marriage. No way!
I put on my mascara, blush, a little subtle shade of lip gloss, eyeliner, and spritz myself with this preem new perfume I bought before I flew out here.
I put so much jewelry on. Nose ring, tongue ring, a dozen earrings, necklaces, anklets. I wanna look good.
Fuck, I do look good! Why should I be ashamed around Buanca?
(….There’s a knock on the door)
“Hey, calabacita? Can I come in?”
“Mhmm.”
Judy opens the door, and when she sees me, stops dead in her tracks.
“V….”
“What? What’s wrong? Do I look weird?”
“God, no. Oh Jesus Christ. You look stunning, stunning. Holy shit.”
My face heats up and I look in the mirror to see my cheeks aglow in red.
“You think?”
“V. I swear to god. The older you get, the better you look. Absolutely beautiful. Beautiful.”
(I turn around and throw my arms around you. We kiss, softly. Once, twice, again.)
“I-I still have to take a shower.”
“Better hurry, Jude. Reservations are in ninety minutes.”
“How do you feel, V?”
“Pissy, bitchy. Got my fucking period this morning.”
“Awww, what are we gonna do later on tonight?”
“I’m sure we’ll think of something. We can get creative.”
(You don’t want to let me go.)
“I’m scared, V.”
“Me too, Jude. Me too.”
“V…. I need to tell you something. Promise you won’t get mad?”
“Uhhh? No? I’m not promising anything until you tell me, Jude. What is it?”
The way you’re looking at me right now is freaking me out. Judy, I swear if you’re getting ready to tell me you still have feelings for her, I’m walking out this door, and I’m never turning back around….
“The night before I left to come out here, we slept together.”
Your words are like a slap, and I cringe. I lift my arm to slap you back, but I stop myself at the very last second. My open hand is an inch away from your cheek.
“You know, Jude? I’m getting a little sick and fuckin’ tired of these surprises. WHAT ELSE?”
“V, everything’s different now. Since you came out. I-I wanna be with you. Always and forever. Wanna be with you for the rest of my life. I swear to god, baby. No more indecision, no more. Like you said, while we’re working on us, we don’t fuck around. I swear to you, I’m done. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Valerie.”
“What are you saying, Jude?”
“I-I’m saying, before Bianca leaves, I’m telling her that I want a divorce.”
(You look down at your feet, but I can tell you’re smiling. When you come back up, there’s tears in your eyes.)
“I wanna marry you, V. I love you with every ounce of my being. I wanna be your wife. I’m gonna tell her, before she leaves. I swear. No more messing around.”
(I have to sit down. I lay the tube of lipstick on the sink, lower the lid on the toilet seat, and sit there.)
“If you’re fucking with me,” I gasp, breathless, my heart beating a million times a minute.
“I’m not fucking with you. I love you, V. A-And I know I’m technically still married, and I’m broke, and I don’t have any money for a ring, but….
(You get down on one knee, right there in the bathroom of your abuela’s house. My mouth hangs open. I put a hand on my heart because it’s thumping so hard….)
“Will you marr—”
(I lift you up and hold you tighter than I’ve ever held anyone before in my entire life. Shit! Now my makeup’s gonna get ruined. I’m in tears.)
“Yes, yes, yes, yes. A million, billion times yes….”
….We stay there, in that tiny bathroom, locked in the most loving of embraces.
Spinning slowly, eyes closed.
My head, on your shoulder.
(Sorry if I got mascara on your white shirt, hehe.)
The wide gulf of years collapses and time becomes irrelevant.
Happiness fills my heart.
I forget how old I am.
It doesn’t matter, you spin me around.
We’re both crying.
I can’t stop.
I’ve waited for this moment forever, and now it’s finally here.
A part of me doesn’t want to believe it’s true.
It’s the cynic in me, the glass has to be half-empty.
Doesn’t it?
Why?
Why can’t it be half-full?
Why can’t true love exist for us too?
I waited for you, Judy Alvarez.
Through all the pain, sadness, heartaches, loss….
But don’t they all seem so incidental now?
I’m gonna be your wife!
Don’t laugh if I whisper, we’re soulmates, please?
I know I’m a gonk, but I don’t care.
The nova feeling of your body pressing into mine.
I'm so emotional!
Our love lights are on! Oh, Jude! It’s everything! Suddenly, the world is awash in so many colors! Blue, violet, green, red, purple, orange!
(Do we still have to go to dinner?
Why not?
Let’s make an announcement!
We’ll drink a toast.
Here’s to you, leelou bean, my first and only true love.
I can finally leave the hospital room.
Free to feel all these feelings with you.
Now comes the fun part.
Now, we can live forever….)
Notes:
Next: Those first few moments. V and Jude, in love. Everything is so full of life! Vibrant, bold, brilliant, and beautiful. Colors, like a kaleidoscope. No more pain, no more worry or sorrow.
Only the unbreakable bond that's existed between them since the beginning of time....
Chapter 28: The Dance Of V & Judy (Pt. II)
Summary:
Love....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Seattle)
….After the beautiful moment in the bathroom, when Judy proposed to V; when she finally came to her senses and saw how special and unique their love really was, all of life’s problems seemed to simply fade into the background of their lives, never to bother them again.
Dinner went about as well as could be expected, which was to say, Bianca tried her hardest to start a fight with V, but she didn’t take the bait. She kept her calm, kept her head, and let Judy’s soon to be ex-wife vent, and rage all she wanted.
A part of V actually empathized with Bianca. She understood the pain of losing Judy Alvarez and she wouldn’t wish it on her worst enemy. She took that sentiment into consideration as Bianca tried and tried but failed to draw her into an argument.
True to her word, Judy informed Bianca of her intentions that very same night. She wanted a divorce, she said, the sooner the better.
Their marriage had run its course. Judy was in love with another woman and nothing was going to change that fact.
Valerie had left them alone. She asked no questions, made no demands. It wasn’t any of her business. That was between Judy and her wife. All V cared about was whether or not Jude had been sincere in her proposal of marriage.
When she had in fact felt secure in that notion, a huge weight had slowly, yet suddenly lifted itself from her heart.
Valerie had gone back to the house alone, leaving Judy and Bianca in the parking lot of the restaurant. For a long time, she sat out on the back porch swing, letting the evening air cool her fiery emotions. Her feelings were so volatile. A part of her still couldn’t believe her dream of marrying Jude was finally coming true. While another part of V kept waiting for the other shoe to fall.
(What if Judy changes her mind at the last minute? What if Bianca promises to change? What if the love Jude and I share is simply a manifestation of infatuation? Is it true love? Am I in love with her? Is she in love with me?)
As these conflicting thoughts bounced around in her head, V was in another world, and didn’t hear the car pull into the driveway.
She lit a cigarette, took a sip of her chamomile tea and sighed, looking up at a few stars that sprinkled the night sky.
V considered her age. Her reluctance to move on from Judy, never really wanting to date. Meeting Sarah and growing close, too close. She wondered how the younger woman was going to take the news when she finally did fly home. Would Sarah rage? Throw a fit? Destroy her apartment?
“Ah, I can’t think about that shit now. You know what? Whatever happens is gonna happen and whether I sit here and stress over it for the next hour or go up to bed, the fact remains, Sarah’s gonna react however she wants to.”
A long, distorted shadow appeared on the wooden floorboards. A silhouette of someone coming around the corner.
“Talking to yourself, calabacita?” A voice whispered in the darkness.
V gasped and then made a grumpy face.
“Ugh, you scared me, Jude. Did you just get back?”
“A few minutes ago. Can I sit next to you?”
“Course, how’d it go?”
“At first? It was hard, V. Saying goodbye to someone I spent the last eleven years of my life with? It was really fucking hard, but by the end, it was the easiest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. You know why?”
“W-Why?”
“Because I love you, Valerie. No, I mean it. I am so in love with you. I pushed you out of my head for so long. Eventually, I just got used to living without you, and I don’t ever, ever wanna feel that way again. Sure, I made a life for myself. I wasn’t miserable. I had a lot of good years, but I don’t want, good. I want amazing, incredible, preem, nova. And the only, the only woman I’ve ever loved or felt that strongly for has been you….”
V rubbed her eyes. A few shiny lines of moisture slowly ran down the sides of her cheeks. So long, so long she waited to hear those words. All those lonely, lonely days and nights. Staring out at a city that no longer had any time for romantics like her. The pain was sometimes almost too much. So she left. Started a new life in Spain. Things were going well. She was content. Lonely, but content. And then an email. Lizzie’s was closing its doors. An invitation to a farewell celebration.
A glimmer of hope....
Is my leelou bean gonna come back too?
This may be our last real chance.
She’ll come back to NC.
I can feel it in my heart….
And she did!
“Jude. I uhhh, I’m so emotional. Is this really happening? You and me? Are we really gonna take that final leap? Are we really gonna get married?”
“Yes, mi calabacita. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I’ve never been more sure about my feelings. We’ve already waited wayyyy too long. I don’t wanna wait another second.”
….And they rush, collide into each other’s arms. Never let go. Never lose hope. Never take it for granted. What they shared for those brief moments back in 2077.
Summer….
Night City. V was dying. They were scared. She made a decision that ended up hurting Judy. They were young, in love. It was a crazy, crazy time.
When she woke up and Reed told her it was 2079, she felt the knife twisting in her side.
Oh my god….
Judy.
She stayed in that hospital room and never left.
Sure, she walked out and tried to start all over again, but something always felt like it was missing….
And now?
They spin around on that porch, underneath the soft, gentle glow of a subtle moon.
Stars twinkle.
Love escapes into the atmosphere.
Energy of immaculate desires, passions never to be extinguished.
Fires grow hotter, brighter….
“Love you, leelou bean. Always, baby. ‘M so happy.”
She cuddles up to her best friend and feels her hands across her back.
“Oh, V. I don’t think I can ever be as high as I am right now.
Te amo….”
Notes:
Next: More love....
Chapter 29: The Dance Of V & Judy (Pt. III)
Summary:
Four months down the road, and the big day is coming up faster than they could've ever expected. Life just seems to be getting better and better.
Love, friendship, emotion, feeling, desire,
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Valerie. Four Months Later)
(Somewhere, anywhere)
(....Hmmm. If I had to choose one word to describe our lives?)
Magnificent....
Every time I think about the crazy paths we took to get here, I’m shocked (nah, not really) we ended up right where we always belonged:
In each other’s arms....
If there was one really, really sad thing we had to deal with, it was the passing of Jude’s abuela.
For about a week there, it was a really rough time in our lives.
Jude especially, teetered on the brink of the cliff, nearly tumbling over the edge, into a pit of depression and self-loathing.
But I made sure to be with her every step of the way, never leaving her side.
Whether it be space, a shoulder to lean on, someone to hold her at night, or bring her breakfast in bed, I was there.
I wouldn’t leave my leelou bean’s side for anything in the entire universe….
Judy told me she wouldn’t have made it through without me, but I don’t believe that.
She’s tough, a fighter.
I was just there to nudge her through the worst of it.
It’s hard to believe we’ve been engaged for this long already!
When I eventually did have to fly back to Spain and break the news to Sarah, she took it surprisingly well.
Told me she still wanted to be friends and that that was more important than losing me to jealousy.
We've kept in touch ever since.
She’s an important part of my life.
We try to talk, touch base at least once a week.
I’m particularly stoked this morning because we just got the news:
A phone call from her attorney! Judy’s divorce is official!
She’s free, which means we're free!
No longer held down by antiquated laws or bygone rules.
She’s free to be herself, love (marry?) whomever she chooses.
And she chose me!
Money-wise, we’re barely scraping by, but we couldn’t be happier.
Judy quit her job and I had to take an extended (unpaid) leave of absence.
I just started working again, and things have been touch and go.
For a while there, I thought I was going to lose my apartment but somehow we always made it through.
Sometimes by the skin of our teeth, but we still made it….
Oh yeah, Judy moved in with me. After her granny passed, she made the transition to Spain.
In the beginning, it was a bit of a struggle but again, when things got rough, we leaned on one another for support and somehow, it always worked out.
We’re completely head over heels crazy about each other. It’s like we’re 23 again and in the prime of our lives!
Judy’s learned to be more open, more in touch with her emotions and it’s done wonders for our overall mindset.
Sure, we still fight. Bitch and complain (mostly over money) but at night, as we get ready to fall asleep, we always, always make up.
She’s my best friend and that friendship has really been the glue that’s held us together.
Our sex life’s never been better. We're so in sync. Embracing our femininity, aglow with our lovelights. Blooming hard. Robust, strong, deep, full of feeling.
Like I said, at the end of the day, we’re right where we always belonged.
It’s a rainy Sunday afternoon and we’re still in our pj’s, lounging around the apartment. I made breakfast (french toast, homemade whipped cream, even fresh strawberries!) and we’ve just been chilling since we woke up.
These are my absolute favorite moments with Judy. The normalcy of life. The beauty of a random Sunday, listening to the speed of life outside in the city. In here though, we move to the beat of our own drummer....
I’m sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I’m reading a book, sipping my coffee and smoking a cigarette.
I don’t hear Jude come up behind me and wrap her arms around my neck. She kisses me on the side of the face and says, “Hey.”
“Hey.” I don’t look up. This is a really preem novel I’m engrossed in and I’m almost finished.
“Can I talk to you for a quick second, calabacita? I promise it won’t take long and then you can go back to your story.”
“Ugh, okay. What’s up?”
“So ummm, now that the divorce is final, I-I was wondering if you wanted to set a date or if you already had one in mind?”
My head whips around and l stare at you delightedly.
“What? N–Now? I m-mean, yeah. I have some ideas. Wanna hear ‘em?”
“Of course I do, chica,” Judy says in that sassy voice. God, I’m so in love with her. She’s been my crush for almost twelve fucking years!
“I was thinking Springtime, May. I don’t know, rebirth, rejuvenation. A reawakening of the earth, mother nature. The divine feminine?”
We stare at each other and start giggling, just like we’re in high school again. She bends down and kisses my neck. It sends tiny shivers through my body and I whimper in satisfaction.
“I love that idea, V.”
“Yeah?”
“Hell yeah.”
II.
(Judy, reflecting)
….V, my god. You-You’re like glowing. I’ve never seen someone as pretty as you. Your cheeks are just a little rosy and your nose ring looks perfect.
Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you in my life. I experience moments of self-disgust at how things ended between us back in 2079.
But you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better.
(You tell me to let it go. It’s all in the past and we can’t change what happened, we can only hope to learn from our mistakes.)
We need to communicate, you say. Always. It’s the lifeblood of any healthy relationship.
I nuzzle against your neck and inhale deeply. It’s that perfect scent of sleepy warmth that covers your skin. A heat like no other. It drives me wild inside and I want more but I know you’re relaxing so I let it go. Plus, I wanna take a shower with you later on, so I’m saving all my passion for later, hehe….
“Okay, shoo. I only have twenty more pages to go and then I promise I’m all yours, ‘kay?”
“I love you, Valerie.”
“Mmmm, Jude. I love you, baby. Can you make me another cup of coffee? Pleaseeee?”
“Sure. Mmmm, maybe I’ll have another one too….”
Notes:
Next: Someone from V's past steps up to help and maybe atone for some of the things that happened earlier....
Chapter 30: The Dance of V & Judy (Pt. IV)
Summary:
A special, special day. It's been a long time coming.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Immortal, Infinitely Beautiful Valerie. Summertime....
….We’re inseparable.
Hand in hand, we walk down the avenue, I’ve got my head on your shoulder,
A permanent smile on my face.
I’m in love, Judy, for only the second time in my life.
You pull me close, we laugh.
And all the pain seems so so far away, doesn’t it, baby?
I’m your wife!
It sounds so smooth when I say it like that.
Isn’t it strange?
How far we’ve come?
(Remember when we were so far away from each other?
Nah, neither do I, hehe….)
The sun won’t set anymore, Jude.
I show you the photo album I made of our week in Night City. I brought it with me.
You gasp and burst into tears….
Why are you crying baby? I ask.
Because I was so far away from you, for so long….
So what? I laugh.
You’re here now and that’s the only thing that matters in the entire world.
Who cares about the past?
We’re here now, in the moment, together, in love.
(It’s our second chance, baby!)
We’re married!
Our new day!
You and me, always, Jude!
Don’t cry, leelou bean!
Everything happens for a reason.
I reach down, squeeze your hand. The sun’s so bright!
It’s a good thing we remembered our sunglasses!
Haha!
“Calabacita?”
“Uh-huh?”
“I feel just like I felt that night at the lake-house. When you took my hand in yours and you caressed my face.”
“That was the first time I felt like I might be falling in love with you.”
“Same…. Hey, V?”
“Mmmm?”
“We made it, didn’t we? The two of us. We beat Night City, didn’t we?”
“You’re fucking right we did. That place didn’t have a chance against us.”
“I’m so emotional. Baby, we made it. I love you.”
“Awww, Judy. I love you. Hahahaha!”
You lift me in the air, spin me around. I told you. The sun’s never gonna set, not anymore….
“Faster! Faster, Jude! Faster!”
“I’m getting dizzy!”
“Ahhh! Me too!”
(….All around us, life moves. People live, people die. They go to work, or school, or whatever else it is that humans do. Cars fly down the highways. Life moves so fast. One day you wake up and it feels like ten years have passed you by….)
But Valerie’s not sad. Not anymore. Neither is Judy. No, not anymore….
They exist beyond the confines of time. They’ve moved beyond that trivial notion.
The way they hold hands, they know the gift they’ve been given.
Another chance, another opportunity….
….They stumbled out of the court-house, officially a married couple. Today was the day! Their wedding day!
And it was Sarah of all people who first congratulated them on their union, before she waved goodbye. She served as their one and only witness. It took her a little while, but in the end, she realized V was exactly right this whole time.
Their friendship was so much more important than anything that happened afterwards….
And so she redeemed herself. She stood next to V and Judy, as they finalized their marriage certificate. Signing her name as a witness to the unbreakable bond that would forever exist between the mercenary and the techie….
It’s the culmination of over twelve years of waiting for the moment to present itself.
It was elusive, hard to nail down.
But they did it.
“I can’t believe we’re married! It’s official!”
They were walking along the crowded boulevard, lost in their unending, infinite dream. It didn’t matter whether they were awake or asleep, the dream would never end….
V was aglow with so much life. Her body radiated the most beautiful kind of energy. She had come into her own. As a woman, as a lover, as a friend, and as herself….
Everything she’s been through! Arasaka, Konpeki Plaza, Jackie’s death, the Relic, Johnny Silverhand, Panam, SoMi, Alex, Reed, Kurt Hansen, Dogtown, River Ward, Kerry Eurodyne….
Nothing compared to the pain of the holocall from the hospital on that fateful spring day in 2079….
Her leelou bean had left and gone away….
Valerie knew then, what it was like to have her heart broken, to have it smashed into a trillion pieces and scattered to the four winds….
Alone, lonely, with no one in the world to draw her in at night, to wrap their arms around her and whisper, “I love you. It’s gonna be alright."
She made it through though (V’s a lot tougher than she gives herself credit for!) Slowly building her life back up. Brick by brick, or rather, emotion by emotion.
Learning to believe in herself again, even if it meant a world without Judy Alvarez.
But always, always, in the back of her mind, still believing, still keeping the tiniest shred of hope.
(This isn’t the end of our story. Not yet. Jude seems so far away from me, but it’s not the end. As long as there’s still hope, anything’s possible. Anything….)
….And then? Finding each other again, in the middle of a crowded club. Ten years apart. TEN YEARS?!
It was hard to believe, but it was true….
But when Judy spun her around in the middle of the dance floor, and her body felt those same sensations of love, not even a day had passed between the two lovers….
The currents of brilliant, bold, vivid, vibrant electricity coursed through them both.
(And they remembered what it was like to fall in love. To really be in love with someone. Not for any other reason than it’s what the hearts wants....)
So now, almost a year later, V was in the springtime of her blossoming. She was in full bloom!
Judy was speechless when she looked upon that otherworldly beauty and realized how truly lucky she was to have this woman as her wife….
….There’s a park nearby, and they stop off there. There’s a vendor. They walk up and buy two sodas….
Even though they’re broke, they leave a generous tip. After all, it’s a momentous occasion.
They find a bench and sit down, arm in arm….
They watch, as the rest of the world passes them by. Let it, who cares? They move to their own rhythms....
“What do you feel like doing the rest of the day?” Judy asked.
“Head back to the apartment, cuddle up on the couch together. Put on the TV, maybe fool around a little bit and then fall asleep? Tell me, what could ever be better than that?”
Judy leans in, kisses her wife tenderly on the forehead, and whispers,
“Nothing, calabacita…. Nothing.”
Notes:
Next: The married couple take their last trip ever to Night City, to attend the grand re-opening of Lizzie's Bar....
*The last chapter....
Chapter 31: You. Me. Sunset, Night City....
Summary:
Judy and V return to Night City as a married couple. One last time. They're attending the grand re-opening of Lizzie's. Things are so different now, so different.
Their lives are full of joy now. No more pain, sadness. It's all bright, bold and brilliant now....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Valerie & Judy, Night City)
….V stood in front of the mirror, fixing her hair, putting her makeup on and thinking about her life.
(I’m so happy. Everything's just right. Keeps getting better. I'm so in love. So lucky, So content....)
She and Judy were back in Night City. One last time, never to return again….
They flew in from Spain to attend the grand re-opening of Lizzie’s, Downtown.
And things were so, so different this time around.
They’d been married for a little over a year now, and they were as close as two people could be.
Inseparable doesn’t even begin to describe it.
It was Judy who told V every single day how lucky she was. How in love she was with her calabacita.
How incredible their lives were.
Judy never forgot, no matter how fast the years flew by, how important Valerie was to her. Never, ever took their love for granted or failed to understand what a beautiful woman V was. Inside and out….
Theirs was a life filled with laughter, warmth, poetry, and song….
Sure, they were two people, but in all reality, they were one beautiful spirit. One perfect soul, in unison, forever and ever.
“Hurry up, leelou bean! We’re gonna be late! C’mon! Out!”
“Nah, it’s okay. We should be at least a little fashionably late,” Jude called from behind the shower curtain. “By the way, isn’t our hotel preem?”
“Uh-huh. I’m glad too. This trip cost us all of our savings. We’re gonna be eatin’ Ramen for the next year, at least.”
Judy poked her head out from behind the curtain. Her purply-green hair was soaked. It shone and glistened as the water ran down in tiny streams. “I don’t care, calabacita. I wouldn’t miss this for the world. I wanna show my wife off to every single person there tonight.”
From the mirror, V smiled. She turned around and held her leelou bean’s head and kissed her twice on the lips….
“Mmph, I love you, baby.”
Judy closed her eyes and whispered, “Oh, Valerie. Love you…. So damn much.”
V finished getting ready while Judy procrastinated in the shower.
“Want me to put on some music?” V asked.
“Yeah!”
She grabbed her holo and clicked on the playlist she made specifically for their trip back to NC.
Seconds later, the bathroom filled with sounds that brought them straight back to 2077. Songs from that magical summer, when they first discovered what it felt like to be in love….
But unlike the past, where they might’ve felt sad or nostalgic, now they felt only joy….
Because it reminded them of just exactly how far they’d come in their lives. Nothing ever brought them down. Sure, they’d still fight and argue, but it was always about stupid shit, never anything beyond someone forgetting to turn the dishwasher on, or taking out the trash.
That’s what they fought about now!
Never love, or jealousy, pain, hurt or resentment….
No. Those emotions were no longer a part of their lives….
Those feelings lost their power a long, long time ago.
“V, can you grab me two towels, please?”
“Mhmm.”
“Thanks.”
Judy shut off the water and pulled the shower curtain back.
When her eyes focused on the sight before her, she felt weak in the knees….
There was V, a subtle smile on her face, arm outstretched, holding two towels.
Judy still couldn’t express in words how beautiful her wife was.
“What?” V asked with a coy expression.
“I-I’m s-speechless.”
“Why? Do you not like the necklace? Is it too loose? What about the top? Too much?”
“Oh my god. C-Calabacita. I’m so fucking in love with you. Oh god. Can we stay in and make love all night? Please?”
“Oh, shush. No.” But then V slapped her butt and said, “If you’re a good girl tonight, I may let you rub my feet, later. You know, after I’ve been dancing all night long and they’re all damp and sweaty, hehe….”
“Valerie?” Judy couldn’t help it and started to cry. She was still dripping wet from the shower.
“What’s wrong, leelou bean?”
“N-No, it’s-it’s the o-opposite. I-I’ve never felt this way before in my life. T-This happy, this in love. You’re my best friend, m-my lover, my wife. My everything. T-Thank you for never, ever giving up on us. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
V made a face because she was going to get emotional herself and didn’t want to ruin the makeup she so meticulously just finished putting on. She twisted and contorted her mouth to keep the tears from flowing….
She fanned her face. “Ugh, Jude. Fuck, I-I just finished putting my makeup on. It took me almost— fuck, I’m gonna start crying, ugh! Shit, shit, shit….”
“Dry my hair, calabacita. Pretty please?” Judy winked, lightening the mood.
V rolled her eyes and pretended to be pissed. They both laughed and the moment became as so many others had lately….
Not sad. Just perfect….
II.
(Lizzie’s, City Center)
V and Judy were dressed elegantly casual, if such a style exists. Nearly identical, they were wearing sexy cut-off shorts and preem, vibrant tank-tops. They were both aglow with a scintillating radiance as they walked hand in hand up to the front door.
When Rita Wheeler saw them, she gasped and covered her mouth in surprise.
“JUDY?! V?! Oh my god!! You fucking made it?! WOW!!”
Before they said anything, they smiled broadly, held up their hands and proudly showed off their wedding rings….
Rita actually screamed. “NO! NO FUCKING WAY! THAT’S SO NOVA! CONGRATS!!”
She squeezed them both as tight as she could. When the rest of the Mox girls heard the commotion, they all came running out to see what was happening. V and Judy felt exactly like two celebrities.
Everyone gathered around them and formed a circle. They were clapping and cheering as loud as they could….
It was so loud but in the middle of all the tumult, V glanced at Judy….
Their eyes met, and they both nodded, like they knew how fucking awesome it was that they were married now....
They made it!
They won!
Everybody started chanting, “DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!”
Judy pointed at V and waved her in.
V looked all innocent and mouthed, “Who me?”
Judy smirked, nodded and mouthed back, “Yeah you.”
….And then they danced to the beat of some strange inner rhythm of their own design.
They moved like silk, rippling in the wind. Fluid, delicious, sultry and soft, though they heard no sounds. As a matter of fact, they could hear a pin drop.
Oh, the music was deafening. The speakers, pumping.
But not to Judy and Valerie Alvarez. The only thing they heard or saw was each other….
Jude spun V out, pulled her in and held her at the waist.
They moved with such smoothness that they resembled professional dancers.
Their bodies complimented one another exactly. Jude would turn, V would turn with her. When Judy dipped, Valerie rose. They moved in complete synchronicity.
Gliding as one and they were the only people on the face of the earth….
By now, the whole club had gathered around them. Clapping and cheering for them. Stomping their feet and waving at them to keep going.
Their movements were hypnotic, enchanting. Magical, spiritual….
The music carried them away.
Who knows how long they shared the center of the floor. Could’ve been five minutes, two hours, or twelve years.
When they finally finished, they were both out of breath, panting, bending down with their hands resting on their knees….
The ovation they received lasted for almost ten minutes.
When things eventually settled down, they snuck up to the roof to share a cigarette and drink their beers in peace….
“Whew, that was fucking awesome, wasn’t it?” Judy gasped.
“Definitely,” V answered, taking a huge gulp of her ice cold beer. “Mmmm, so refreshing. Fuck, that’s good.”
Judy drank hers and shook her head in agreement.
“Preem….”
They settled in and stood looking out over the skyline of Night City, holding hands, breathing heavily.
“How long are we staying for again?” Judy asked, taking a drag and passing the cigarette back to V.
“Ummm, a week, remember?”
“Oh yeah, yeah. Nova.”
….They were silent then. Staring off into the distance, out past the skyscrapers and towering buildings of steel, glass, and concrete.
They knew more than most how truly crazy this city could be. All the greed, violence, bloodshed, and danger.
But they also knew that without it, they might not have ever fallen in love.
Judy squeezed V’s hand.
She squeezed back, a little tighter.
“Ouch.”
“Oh stop, you big baby. Just be thankful I don’t have my chrome anymore.”
"Haha.... Baby?”
“Mmmm?”
“How’s your feet? You were dancin’ pretty wild back there. They all hot and sweaty?”
V smiled, tilted her head to the sky and blew out two perfect circles.
“Oh yeah. They’re so hot. I really need somebody to take good care of ‘em.” She turned to her wife and whispered, “Know anybody that wants to suck on my sweaty toes? Maybe smell ‘em a little bit first?”
It took a lot to get Judy Alvarez to blush, but there she stood, with pink, flushed cheeks, nodding.
“Ummm, I might know someone who’s into that.”
“Oooh, really?" V said in her beautifully raspy voice, a sly grin on her face as she laid her head on Jude's shoulder. "Can you forward me their detes?”
"Ummm, wanna delta soon, calabacita? I want those cute, sexy feet of yours so freakin' bad.”
“Yeah, I’m getting tired. And I can’t wait for that massage.”
Judy turned and drew Valerie into her arms.
“Love you, baby. Forever."
“Mmmm, Jude. Love you, wife….”
Epilogue
....Deep in the night, as they lie in bed, entwined, V opens her sleepy eyes and instinctively reaches for her wife's body. She holds Judy snugly, as the magical heat of their love flows through the hotel bedroom.
"You awake, leelou bean?"
"Ugh, mhmm," Judy mumbles and kisses V's messy hair. She breathes her in just like she does every night. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Did I fall asleep first?"
"Mhmm. You were tired tonight. You fell asleep in my arms. I think you were dreaming."
"What makes you say that?"
"You had a cute little smile on your face. Were you? Dreaming?"
Valerie considers the other woman's question. Can she even tell the difference anymore? "I-I don't know. I think?"
"Was it a good dream, pumpkin?"
V cuddles under Jude's chin, closes her eyes, and whimpers in pure delight. "Yeah, baby. It was a good dream, but I like this better...."
Sleep, baby. But don't forget to hold me tight. Don't let go. Oh, I know you won't. I can feel your love flowing through me. Oh, and Judy? Didn't I tell you we're gonna live forever....
END?
Notes:
Next.... I don't know. *Shrugs shoulders*
Thank you to everyone who's been here since the beginning of this tale. Thank you to the people out there for supporting my work, and for leaving me kudos and kind words and just all of it, everything. I hate ending these stories. When it comes to V & Jude's story of love, I just wanna be along for the ride. I don't ever want it to end. I don't know....
Chapter 32: On The Turning Inward, Towards Each Other
Summary:
V and Jude's last full day in Night City.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Our Last Full Day In NC)
(Judy)
(….So far, we’ve had an amazing time. It’s been fuckin’ nova. I actually don’t wanna leave. I think V’s having a great experience too.)
Every day we wake up early. Fool around (hehe). Have breakfast (room service) in bed. Take a shower, get dressed and then go out exploring!
We’re like gonk tourists except we remember where everything is! We stay out until really late.
(But we always make sure we’re in a relatively, “safe,” area when the sun goes down!)
We visit so many of our old haunts.
V’s apartments or clubs we used to hang out in.
Sex shops we used to visit or little stores where we bought our cigarettes.
We took a few drives out to the Badlands and spent hours and hours on the outskirts of Night City.
The nova thing about this trip is that we probably took about a million pictures!
I know mi calabacita can’t wait to develop all these photos and make a really preem photo album!
II.
“Morning, lover. Mmph. Hey. What is it? What’s wrong, Jude?”
“Mornin’ V. Ahhh, nothin’. Just kinda bummed about leaving NC. I’m having such an amazing time here. I don’t know. I just love being back here with you. Ugh. Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m just bein’ an overly-sentimental gonk.”
But Valerie clicked her tongue in annoyance with her wife’s self-criticisms.
“Oh shush. You are not. And I’m having a great time too. I am. Honestly? I didn’t think I would be having this much fun. Just seeing some of the old places brought back such preem memories. Well, for the most part, anyway….”
They were both silent as V curled into her wife’s embrace.
She loved it when Judy held her. It made her feel safe.
Protected. For Valerie, being back in Night City wasn’t all happiness and joy.
There were things here she still feared.
Being with Jude helped her tremendously but it was still a little overwhelming.
She didn’t wanna sour the experience, but walking up and down these streets also reminded Valerie of her life as a mercenary. A solo.
The gangers, the murderers and illicit drug smuggling rings.
The places where they manufactured highly illegal snuff XBD’s.
Nightmarish gigs she signed up for but ended up regretting later on.
While V was here, she lived on the edge of a knife and sometimes seeing an old building, or a darkened alleyway triggered bad memories from her past….
“You okay, calabacita?” Judy whispered.
“Oh, yeah. I’m good. Guess I’m just stressed about leaving. I am not looking forward to that 13 hour flight tomorrow.”
….Without words, V rolls over and straddles her wife’s hips. She cups Jude’s face in her hands, leans in and kisses her eyelids, moving her mouth from side to side, barely brushing the other woman’s face. Her lips are as soft as satin as she breathes cool air over Judy Alvarez’s cheeks and eyes.
“I love you,” Valerie murmurs, her voice, divine. Sultry, still suffused with sleep.
Judy gasps, not loud, but enough to signify her feelings for this incredible woman sitting atop her.
“Mi calabacita. My wife. My beautiful, sexy, brilliant, romantic wife. Make love to me, hmmm?”
….Slowly, like she’s in some kind of a trance, V’s hips begin to sway. Back and forth. Like a ship adrift in Judy’s sea.
Their bodies collide, but in such a gentle, yearning kind of way.
They’re staring into one another’s eyes as V moves to the lush rhythms and fertile vibes of a song that carries her away….
She arches her back and sways in an effortless motion.
Judy holds her at the waist and watches the dance from the best seat in the house.
Valerie’s mouth opens slightly as she feels her wife’s warm skin against her own. Just below her bellybutton.
A flutter in her chest. Dopamine levels spike.
Energy weaves its way through their arms and legs.
They move to the songs that govern their love.
Jude sits up on her elbows and marvels at the sight before her.
V grinds her pelvis, spinning it in circles, she takes her partner’s thumb and softly sucks on it while she rubs, harder and harder, creating searing friction….
They move with more urgency, yet more beautiful in its deliberate motions.
Valerie collapses on top of Judy and they move now with a singular purpose.
“I wanna come with you, leelou bean,” she says, breathless, full of limitless feeling, deep, deep emotions.
Judy nods, opens her legs and draws her wife close.
Faster, faster they moan, breathless, as their flowers begin to bloom. Jude licks V’s skin, releasing such sublime, earthy scents….
The box springs lurch and press.
Tension….
Stress….
….And then?
Their eyes shoot open.
Pupils dilate.
A rush of blood below the waist.
They cling to one another as the orgasm builds and builds.
It gathers from somewhere deep within.
V’s emotional. She starts to cry.
Judy holds her closer, never letting go….
And like a sudden, wonderful rush of heat. A tidal wave of force, they feel it together, at the same time.
“Oh, god. God, god, god. J–Jude. Hold me. I’m coming.”
“Mmph, c’mere. M-Me too. Awww, c’mere.”
Entwined, they fall back asleep.
Young, yet old lovers.
Wrapped and tangled in the damp bedding.
The scent of lovemaking hangs in the air…..
Valerie turns on her side and drapes a leg over Judy’s stomach.
“I’m tired. Might fall back asleep. ‘S early anyways.”
“Mmmm, me too. Night. Umm, I mean, morning? Hehe.”
….Soft snoring, gentle dreams.
Notes:
Next: ?
Chapter 33: The Emotions That Hold Us
Summary:
Snippets from V & Judy's life....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Night City
….No, don’t wake us up yet. Ugh, argh!
Leave us alone, world.
Pass us by….
Noon, I roll over, yawn, and hold onto you tightly.
I start nibbling on your ear.
Sleepily, you giggle and halfheartedly try to push me away.
“Mmph, mmmm, Heh, hehe, V, stop. I’m still asleep.”
Your hand swats me away, but of course, I do it more now. Softly biting your warm outer lobes.
“Argh, I’m the monster who hides under the bed,” I hiss, trying to keep a straight face. “I wanna eat you up.”
I tuck my lips under my teeth and tug at your ears.
“Hmph, c-calabacita. Tickles. I’m gonna piss my pants, hahaha! Stop.”
“Ummm, Judy. Honey? Love of my life? You’re not wearing any pants. And if you pee in this bed I’m really gonna eat you up.”
“Is that good or bad?”
You turn your head. Your eyes are barely open, still full of sleep. But you have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen in my life.
(We kiss, and I feel the exact same spark I felt at the abandoned lake-house, all those years ago.
It's the same electricity. Powerful emotions the second our lips touch.
Enchanting, brilliant, bold, and vivid.)
It’s like I’m perpetually high. 24/7.
High as a kite.
The best buzz.
A love buzz….
“Lemme sleep, V. C’mon. I’m tired.”
I’m being a bitch. I keep tickling you, blowing raspberries against your neck.
“Mmmhmm. C’mon, leelou bean. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.”
“V! You know something! That’s it! Get over here!”
“Oooh, oooh. You mad? Hahaha!”
In a sudden burst of strength, you roll on top of me and pin me down by the wrists.
I start squirming, but it’s useless. You’re a little pissed at me for waking you up.
Slowly, you lean down and kiss me once, twice. Quick, soft pecks.
They stick together and I feel a warm stirring between my naked legs….
You still have me pinned down, staring at me curiously. Like you’re seeing me for the first time or something.
“Do you know how beautiful you are, V?” You lick your lips and give me a loving smile.
The blood rushes to my face. I can’t feel my cheeks but I know they’re on fire.
“Tell me,” I whisper.
“How about I show you instead?” You answer, leaning forward, kissing me so softly, my heart melts. You pull away and smile.
“More,” I pout.
….We make out for a little while, but you soften your grip and let your guard down.
Like lightning, I turn the tables. Now I’m on top of you.
I’ve got you pinned down.
“Neughhhh, lemme go,” you groan.
“No. What do you say?”
You stick your tongue out and give me a dirty look.
“Oh, okay. Guess you wanna stay like this all day.”
You bend your knee. It so softly touches my thick, overgrown pubic hair.
I look down. I didn’t realize how wet I was.
There’s a little white on the surface of my jet black bush.
Am I that horny?
I must be!
“Wow. How wet you are, Valerie! Naughty, naughty. Tsk, tsk….” You shake your head, like I misbehaved or something.
I fall against your body….
“Stop, don’t embarrass me,” I whisper, kissing you hungrily, rubbing a little bit.
“Awww, esta avergonzada mi pequena calabacita?”
“What did you just say?” I scowl.
“Never mind, you. Kiss me again.”
(I do and we fall into each other, making nova love in our hotel room, flanked by a week’s worth of dirty clothes, scattered everywhere on the bedroom floor.)
Afterwards, you’re sitting with your back against the headboard, smoking a cigarette.
I’m curled up next to you, as close as I can, kissing your breast softly, biting the nipple, swirling it in my tongue.
You shiver, take a drag and blow it towards the open window. I reach out my hand and you pass it to me.
“Can we stay like this forever, baby?" I say aloud, but to myself, I mouth, Forever....
"Mhmm. Yeah. Of course we can."
Later on, we’re in the shower, just standing there, locked in a sweet embrace.
You’re sucking on my neck and shoulder while the hot water runs out of your mouth.
“Member when it used to be so hard for me to tell you how I felt?” You ask, before going at me with renewed passion.
“Uh-huh,” I say in a low voice. I’m in heaven (if such a place exists). I absolutely adore the feeling of your mouth on my neck. I can’t think or focus on anything else.
We just start rubbing. It feels as though pure, radiant sunlight fills our bodies.
We pick up the pace, whimpering into each other’s mouths, breathing heavily, panting….
You pour liquid soap all over us and soon there’s bubbles and suds everywhere. Now our skin’s as slippery as can be.
We wash one another off. It’s incredibly sensual and erotic.
We both end up having orgasms with hardly any friction at all.
It’s just the moment’s so charged. So swollen with arousal.
The smell of citrus, soap, roses, lilacs and the two of us permeates the atmosphere….
But then you go down on me and my knees buckle in absolute bliss.
You don’t let up, tasting me for god knows how long?
Steam rises. It’s everywhere. We’re both flushed, blossoming.
Our bodies give off the warmest glow.
Afterwards, we fill the tub and lie there.
Me on the inside. You’re holding me so lovingly.
Running your hands through my soaking wet hair, over and over.
The only sound is the dripping water from the shower head.
Eventually, we both just pass out….
“Baby?”
“Mmmm?”
“We fell asleep in the tub. I think it’s getting late. Wanna go out and get dinner?”
“Uh-uh. Just wanna stay here with you all night.”
“C’mon. I’m hungry. Let’s go to that Mexican restaurant we used to love.”
“Ahhh, Jude. I don’t wanna. I’m tired. Hold me.”
Later, you kiss me awake.
“Pleeeease? I’m hungry. Let’s get some tacos.”
“Ugh, okay. I can eat. I just don’t know if I can move, hehe.”
….It’s 7:00 and we’re finally dressed. It only took us all day to get out of bed!
We’re looking at ourselves in the mirror.
Our last night before we have to fly back to Spain.
“Ready, leelou bean?”
“Yeah, I’m starving. Work up such an appetite from all that sex.”
“Tell me about it. Hey, by the way. Your turn to treat.”
“What? Didn’t I buy dinner last night?”
I laugh…. It’s funny because we share everything. Money, clothes, food, everything.
“Oh yeah, right. I forgot. Buck A Slice! Big spender! Whoo! Hahaha!”
You poke me playfully as we head out the door.
(Hand in hand.
Never be apart again….)
Notes:
Next: Flying, home. Saying goodbye to the past, once and for all....
Chapter 34: Slice Of Life
Summary:
Matching tattoos? Trapped in Night City?
....As Judy & V get ready to board their flight back to Spain, V realizes they may have forgotten something extremely important.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Judy)
….We’re standing in line at the Air Orbital Terminal, waiting to pass through security.
We’re flying home. Back to Spain.
I’m sad!
I had such a good time. V and I did a million different, preem things. The seven days went by way too fast. I look over at my wife. She’s engrossed in her holophone.
She’s so fuckin’ cute, with her short, straight hair, two dozen earrings, tight cut-off jean shorts, red-white sneakers, and her vintage Samurai t-shirt.
We both got tattoos!
We were drunk, and went to the best shop in Night City.
And like a couple of lovesick gonks, we each got the other’s name inked on our bodies!
V did hers on her left arm. “Judy.” Each letter intertwined with colorful flowers and deep green vines. It looks incredible.
I’m running out of room, so I had to get a little creative.
Above and to the right of my kitty cat and paws, near my rib cage, I got the letter, “V,” with haze all around it. It’s kinda big. I did it in her favorite color. Dark blue.
It’s cool, but not as nova as hers. Not even close!
I wanna ask V if she wants to stay a couple more nights but I’m scared. I know she wants to go home. She’s gotta go back to work anyway, and I need to find a job soon, or we might start fighting about money. I’m only working part-time and it’s starting to impact our daily lives….
We tried to spend as little money as we could here, but it’s hard. Everything’s so fuckin’ expensive, ya know?
I look up and notice V’s staring at me….
II.
“What?”
“Did we remember to bring everything, Jude?”
“I think so? Why? What are you thinking we forgot?”
“The dozen rolls of undeveloped film.”
“Oh shit. Shit, we can’t leave without that. Can you ping the hotel?”
“I’m gonna have to. I’m starting to freak the fuck out, baby.”
“No, you packed them. I remember now.”
“Jude. Are you positive? You swear you saw me pack it?”
“I think so?”
“Ugh! I have to ping the hotel.”
“Better hurry. We’re boarding soon.”
III.
(Valerie)
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
Did I forget to pack the most important thing?
I must have taken a thousand pictures! I need those rolls of film!
I can’t leave without them.
Tentatively, I dial our hotel….
“”Wild Blue. City Center. This is Amanda. How may I help you?”
“Hi. Ehhh, hi. I just, well, my wife and I just checked out and we’re about ready to board our flight back to, ummm, to Spain, and I’m hehe, I’m panicking because I think I might have left something in the room. Has housekeeping been in yet?”
“Name?”
“Valerie Alvarez. I was with my wife, Judy Alvarez. We were in room 4224.”
“One moment.”
V looked to her wife and shrugged her shoulders. She mouthed, “They’re looking.” They both notice passengers beginning to board the shuttle.
About two agonizing minutes later, Amanda came back on the call.
“Mrs. Alvarez?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know if this is good news or bad, but we found the case of films. It’s here. Safe.”
“SHIT! OH Shit!”
V looked pleadingly at Judy and whispered, “We left it there.”
“Oh no. Can they send it through the mail?”
V was immediately reluctant to try that option. The NUSA was in terrible shape and the federal system of mail was outdated, antiquated and completely unreliable.V shook her head in disgust at her own forgetfulness. Meanwhile, Judy secretly had her fingers crossed behind her back. She didn’t wanna leave. She wanted to stay. Even if it was only for one more night.
“I’m gonna fuckin’ lose my job,” V murmured. She looked at her wife and said, “Wanna stay another night?”
IV.
“Yippee!” Judy squealed, throwing her arms around V and giving her a flurry of kisses.
“Baby. I-I’m probably gonna lose my job. You know that, right?”
“Oh, stop. You are not. They are not gonna fire you. Just tell ‘em it was circumstances beyond our control or some stupid shit like that.”
V grimaced. “Yeah, you make it sound so easy. You never met my boss. She’s a real piece of work.”
“Maybe you can seduce her. Show her how sorry you are.” Judy elbowed V mischievously.
Her mouth hung slack. “What? Judy! That’s not funny! Ewww! She’s like, old enough to be my grandmother!”
“I’m just kidding, jeez.”
They stood there, still in line, as the passengers slowly boarded the shuttle.
“Plus, it’s like, our only source of reliable income at the moment.”
….That stung. Judy actually winced. They never, ever fought over money, but the cost of the trip had drained them of their last little bit of savings. V was already nervous, edgy. After all, she was the one who took care of the bills. She knew how dire the situation had become.
“Ouch,” Judy said, sadly. “That hurt. I work. I mean it might not be a whole lot but I work.”
V shook her head. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that. I know you do. It’s just we’re literally running on fumes. I’m scared they’re gonna try and get rid of me when we get home. Our apartment. The rent. All of it. I’m just freaking out a little here.”
“Can they even do that? You’ve been there for years, right?”
“That doesn’t matter. They can make up any number of reasons to justify it. Maybe I should call Reed.”
“Who?”
“The guy who got me this job. I knew him from my mercenary days. Remember Dogtown?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Yeah, well that’s how I met Reed."
“Ahhh.”
….They were next in line. When they reached the flight attendant, they apologized and moved out of the way.
“I don’t even know when the next flight to Spain leaves. I should probably check. Fuck, fuck. This is so fucking annoying.”
“I don’t understand why we can’t just have them ship us the film?”
“Because I don’t trust them, that’s why. Those rolls of film are like gold to me, Jude. It’s a chronicle of our lives. The only time I’d ever feel safe is if they were in my arms.”
“Come on, help me. Let’s find out when the next flight departs. I gotta call Reed. See if he can talk to my bitch of a boss.”
Notes:
Next: Stay exactly how you are....
(I'm not ready to finish this story yet....)
Chapter 35: Only When We're Dreaming
Summary:
Stuck in Night City and the entire first day is spent lying in bed together, falling in love.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
Night City
….Three days. That was the earliest flight back to Spain. That meant V would be taking three unpaid days right off the bat.
Luckily, Reed stepped in and had a word with her boss, Ms. Reena. No one was getting fired, although Sol sounded like a disappointed parent when V explained the situation. He let out a long, sustained sigh of annoyance. He hated involving himself in interoffice politics.
All in all though, it could have gone a lot worse for the former mercenary and her wife.
Meanwhile, Judy was on cloud nine. After all, they had three more days together in Night City. Free to do whatever they wanted. Lie in bed until they felt like it, explore the city, hang out. Whatever, it didn’t matter. She just wanted to be near Valerie every second.
Since they arrived, Judy felt all these different, powerful emotions for V. Love, but so powerful that it scared her. She didn’t think human beings were capable of dealing with such intense feelings.
She was so in love with her wife. It hurt. It actually hurt when V wasn’t near….
….The next morning, tucked safely back in bed at The Wild Blue, room 4224, Judy curled up against V and woke her up with a thousand tiny kisses, all over. Everywhere. She loved the way her wife’s skin was so much warmer first thing in the morning. Valerie smelled different. More natural, more herself.
Judy ran her nose against V’s neck, breathing her in, running her hands along the surface of her body.
“Love you, calabacita,” she whispered, moving lower, her lips on V’s left nipple.
The other woman let out a soft, raspy, beautiful cry of pleasure.
“Heyyyy, hmph,” V cooed. “And what do you think you’re doing, hmmm?”
“I just, V, I-I, I’m feeling really sensitive lately. I feel like I’m falling in love with you all over again.” She kept sucking on V’s nipple cupping the lower part of her breast in her palm and bringing it up to her mouth, suckling. She bit, not hard, and V’s head shot back in pleasure.
“Know exactly how to get me wet in seconds, you know that?”
“Mhmm. I want you every second. Can never get enough of you, no matter how much you give me.”
Judy kept kissing, licking, tugging, and pulling at V’s tits.
“Did I do something different? Why are you so affectionate, leelou bean? Not that I’m complaining. Never. I’m just curious.”
“You. Just you. Baby, it’s like, when I’m sad, I look over and you know when to smile at me. Make me feel better. The way you hold my hand. The feel of….”
Judy couldn’t continue. She started crying. V looked at her with a confused, affectionate expression.
“Hey, leelou bean. What’s wrong? Don’t cry, lover.”
Jude shook her head back and forth quickly.
“Ten years! Sleeping in separate beds! So far away from me! How could I leave you alone for so long? Being married to someone else, missing all the—”
Valerie cut her off with a kiss.
“Sssshhhh, stop. It’s okay, you gonk. Who cares about the past? I’m happy, you’re happy. I’m smiling and so are you.”
But Judy was really upset.
“V. Promise me. Promise me if you ever, ever need to talk or need a friend or anything, I, I love you, baby.” She buried her head against Valerie’s chest and cried. Not hard, but she couldn’t stop.
“Judy Alvarez, my god. Baby, what has gotten into you?”
“Are you gonna leave me?”
V almost laughed out loud. As it was, she covered the smile on her face because she didn’t want her wife to think she was mocking her.
“Am I gonna what? Leave you? Are you crazy? Are you? Nuts?”
Judy blushed and wrapped her arms around V. She squeezed.
“Promise? Promise, calabacita?”
Valerie started running her hands through Judy’s hair.
“I promise, love of my life.” Her voice was beautiful, lilting, hypnotic….
….They stayed in bed that entire first day. Holding each other. Laughing together, loving each other. Feeling life together. Hiding under the blankets, no clothes on. Making love so tenderly. Holding hands. Kissing, falling asleep….
(So in love, so close.)
They’d do anything to feel each other. The hours pass, morning to afternoon to evening. Room service in bed. TV on. Food everywhere. They open a bottle of wine. Two plastic cups on the bedside dresser. They get drunk. Laughing, loving, rolling around, wrestling, tickling, hiding under the blankets.
Soon, it’s after midnight. They haven't left the bedroom once, except to get the food outside of their door. Other than that, they stayed close to one another.
Drunk, V was lying on her back. Judy, on her side, nuzzled as close as she could to her wife. Kissing her softly, so softly.
Close their eyes….
“Baby?”
“Mmmm?”
“I’m so drunk.”
“Meeee toooo, Joodeeee.”
“Meeee toooo, Veeee. Wanna fool around?”
“Uhhhh, yeah? I was waiting for you to make a move.”
“Meeee?”
“Yeah, you. Now kiss me, gonk.”
“C’mere, calabacita.”
….Entwined, as lovers.
Feeling the heat of life as it weaves its way through the bedroom.
Faces flushed from the wine and just the right amount of touch.
Sweat, salty. Scent of love.
And the past doesn’t matter much anymore.
It’s just something to forget, like having to go to work, or paying bills.
They don’t care about being broke.
They don’t worry about politics, or wars, or AI, or weapons.
3:00 am. Standing by the opened window, looking out at the moon hanging over Night City. Limbs heavy from too much fooling around. Still kinda buzzin’
Clothes all over the floor. Slight breeze blows in. TV’s still on, no sound, but its light is soft, warm. It’s nice to have it in the background.
Tomorrow they’ll shower. Not tonight. Why? What for?
They’re both nude, a heavy blanket wrapped tight around them. Judy’s behind V, arms around her waist.
Silent, sharing a cigarette. Looking out at the rest of the world as it passes them by.
(Let it.
Who cares anyway?)
Notes:
Next: Day 2, still falling, falling, falling in love....
Chapter 36: Sky Is The Limit
Summary:
Day Two. In bed. In love....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Night City. Day 2
I could lie here forever with you.
I love you, V.
I’m watching you sleep.
God, how beautiful you are.
All that you’ve been through in your life.
I’m so sorry baby, that I left you all alone.
I was fucked up for a long time.
See, you went away and never said goodbye.
I was so sad. Oh, V. So sad….
It’s still dark.
I don’t wanna know what time it is.
It’s enough to know the sun’s not out.
Baby? Calabacita?
Are you dreaming right now?
I am.
Watching you sleep.
I’ve never seen someone as precious as you.
Remember when I used to lay my head in your lap and look up into your eyes?
Sometimes, I’d fall asleep and you’d carry me to bed.
Carry me in your arms, cradling me.
I can barely hear you snoring.
Your eyes are closed.
God, V.
How can there be this much love in my heart?
It just grows and grows every single day of my life.
Baby, if you ever got sick, I swear to god, I don’t know what I’d do.
I’d never, ever leave your side.
Take care of you, anything, calabacita.
I’d go fuckin’ crazy.
If something ever happened to you.
I don’t even wanna think about it.
Oh, god.
You smiled a little.
Why?
Are ya thinkin’ of us?
I am.
You and me, in the car.
Driving along the highway.
Cause when I’m with you,
I know I’m exactly right where I belong.
Hey, V?
Is it okay if I run my fingers through your hair?
Promise I won’t wake you.
Ugh, so soft. I love your hair.
I’m so attracted to you.
Valerie, you’re my best friend.
I promise I’ll never hurt you again.
Promise, promise, promise, promise….
“J-Jude? What’s wrong? Ugh, so tired. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s perfect. I was just watching you sleep.”
“Oh? C’mere. Let me hold you.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
“Mmmm, c’mere.”
“Ooof, this is nice. Awww, you feel so warm. Mmmm, my favorite place in the whole world.”
“What time is it?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to look.”
“Good.”
“Hey, calabacita?”
“Yeah?”
“I can feel your heart beating.”
“You can?”
“V?”
“Uh-uh?”
“Do we have a lot of time left?”
“Oh, yeah, Jude. Years.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“You have to ask?”
“Mmph, your fuckin’ lips. God. Oh my god, Valerie.”
“Oooh, my full name? Judy Alvarez. What’s the occasion?”
“You just take my breath away.”
“I do?”
“Mhmm.”
“That’s funny.”
“Why?”
“You do the same thing to me. Kiss me again.”
“Love the way you feel.”
“Jude?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you trying to get me to have sex with you?”
“Maybe? Flirting? Am I doing a good job?”
“Mmmm, a little slow. Pick up the pace. I might fall back to sleep.”
“Like that?”
“Yeah. Oh, your hands. Touch me right there, yeah. Yeah. Mmph.”
“Get on top of me, V.”
“Okay. Oh this, this is nice. So good. Jeez, you’re so warm. I wanna move with you. C’mon.”
“Kay, oh shit. Shit. Move just like that. Yeah, oh fuck, V. Keep moving baby.”
“You too. Don’t stop. Grab my ass, you know what to do.”
“Oh shit. Fuck, I’m so wet.”
“Me too.”
“Ugh, ugh yeah, calabacita. Yeah. God, you have the best ass in the fucking world.”
“Yours isn’t so bad yourself, ya know?”
“Not even close to yours.”
“Awww, so swee-shit! Fuck! I’m close. Fuck!”
“Together?”
“Ready.”
(Together, they cry out. As one. Room 4224, The Wild Blue. Night City. Making love. Two bodies. One soul. One mind. One singular desire. One universal truth)
“Oh fuck, Jude. That was fucking amazing. God, I love you.”
“Mmmm, I feel so warm all over. I love our scent after we make love. It’s so fucking good, isn’t it? The both of us? Combined?”
“Fuck yeah. God, I just, I just don’t ever wanna stop fucking you.”
“I know, V. I feel the same way.”
“Baby?”
“Mmmm?”
“Hold me and whisper dirty things in my ear.”
“Oooh, okay. Wanna know what I’m gonna do with that pretty pussy of yours? Hmmm?”
“Hehe. Yeah, leelou bean. Tell me how you’re gonna use that tongue. Spin it. Fuck, I’m so horny. Wanna keep going?”
“You have to ask? C’mere, calabacita.”
(....Afterwards, they pass out from exhaustion. Entwined in one another’s arms. Bodies slick with their fluids. Sweaty, stuck together. Glistening hair between their legs. Swollen lips, aching folds, throbbing. Musk of sex. Of themselves, opening up. Again and again)
Hours pass. Still they sleep.
World goes by.
Life unfolds all around them.
They stay in bed, wrapped up. Heat from their bodies making them damp….
“Jude?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s take a bath.”
“Okay. Is it my turn to lay on the inside or is it yours?”
“Mmmmmine….”
“Ugh, fine.”
“What’s fair is fair, Judy Alvarez.”
“I know, I know. Stay here. I’ll start the water. Meet me in the bathroom whenever you’re ready to wake up.”
“Deal.”
(….Ten minutes later, V’s body presses against Judy’s. Her eyes are closed. A look of bliss on her face. She’s breathing softly. Her hair’s wet, stuck to the side of her face. Judy moves it away. Gently, tenderly, she plays with Valerie’s hair. Kissing her, fingers tangled. Breathing faster. She’s so excited, trying to hold herself back)
“You okay, V?”
“No. I’m not okay. I’m fucking perfect.”
Judy smiles, squeezes her eyes shut tight.
“Good. Fall asleep if you want. I’m so relaxed, I could stay here forever.”
“Night, leelou bean.”
“Night….”
Notes:
Next: Deja Vu, all over again....
Chapter 37: V & Judy's Three Night Stay
Summary:
A mercenary and a techie are lying in bed....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.(Night City. Leaving to fly home in 14 hours)
Actually....
They spent almost the entire time in bed. Two and a half days worth. They made love more passionately and intensely than they ever had before. It affected them on a whole other level. They felt as though they’d gone places that were beyond the realm of understanding. The feelings they felt were so overwhelming, so incredible, they ended up chasing the high from the moment they woke up, until it was time for bed. Judy cried against V’s neck, as she orgasmed one after another, biting her wife’s shoulder as she clenched her teeth and her body filled with divine energy. She held Valerie in her arms, in tears, and whispered, “I love you forever.”
V was just as touched. She clung to Jude, in the midst of sex, feeling the tears run down her cheeks as she felt one flutter after another. Her body, full of heat, releasing her emotions into the atmosphere, as Judy licked her skin and smelled her everywhere. They touched the deepest parts of themselves. They couldn’t let go of each other. Nothing in the entire universe could pull them apart. They never cried as hard. Their tears, hot, salty, coming from within. Leaking out with the rest of their fluids. Everywhere….
The bed was soaked. Soaked, saturated with their love. It smelled like nothing they’d ever experienced before and it made them ache for more. It was as though their pheromones merged into one, overarching blossom. They were in a full, deep bloom. They glowed with light from alien suns. Parallel universes beckoned them on. They invented new odors to define their intimacy. Sweat, skin, come, saliva, tears. There was nothing they couldn’t see. Everything opened up before them. Strange, new vistas of lust. Dreamy, dark, uninhibited lust. They burned from within and soaked the bedsheets. But they never left the bed. They couldn’t. They wept because they’d ascended to a higher plane. One of pure love. Pure desire and to touch their hands, intertwine their fingers.
They dug their nails into each other’s backs. Leaving long, deep red streaks. They moaned, and whimpered until their voices became ragged, exhausted and then they lost the ability to speak. They could only whimper and groan. They lost count of how many times they came. Not that it mattered. Numbers were imaginary anyway. They slept when they could. An hour here, an hour there. Until inevitably, someone would wake up and want to fuck. Valerie gave herself a sore throat. Judy came close. They made love and fucked, sometimes switching back and forth from one to the next with every thrust, every buck, or swivel of their hips. As deep as they could, they’d stare into one another’s eyes and smile. Sometimes they wouldn’t do anything at all, except stare.
Speech was overrated anyway.
Judy sucked on V’s nipples until they were bright red. And then she sucked some more. V went down on her until her jaw ached and her own pussy throbbed with want.
“Don’t touch yourself. Wait for me,” Jude gasped, trying to turn and pivot her body so they could go at one another at the same time.
Finally, she was able to spin around and they dove into each other with a fevered pace.
V was on the bottom, holding Judy’s hips and using her tongue exactly like a dildo, fucking her as deep as she could. The other woman rested her head on Valerie’s thigh and just kept kissing her there, unable to keep pace with the former mercenary. She was completely spent. It was the first time that had ever happened, but V worked like a woman possessed. She wouldn’t let her wife rest for one second. Tasting her heat, drinking her as she came against her mouth. Judy’s ass lifted in the air, but V held her down, against her mouth. Never letting up until Judy had to beg for release.
Beg and beg and beg.
“Please. Jesus God, V. I can’t. Please, I need a break. I'm begging you. Please. I can’t keep coming, baby. Please.”
“What?” V asked, head buried between her legs, tongue deep in her slickness, curling around her clit, sucking on her swollen nub. “Oh, you think you’re so tough? Hmmm? C’mon, Jude. I’m just getting fuckin’ warmed up. C’mon. Fucking lick my pussy like you haven’t tasted it in ten fucking years. C’mon!”
Judy whimpered and plunged into V. She went as hard as she could and they fucked like two women possessed by some strange, otherworldly energy. Again, Judy was the first one to orgasm and that’s when she actually cried. She was so sore, yet it was without a doubt, the greatest feeling of her entire life.
“Fuck! V! Again! Shit! I can’t! I can’t. Keep. Coming! FUCK!” Her body crashed off Valerie’s, bouncing and bucking. Then her head shot upwards as she felt a finger slide up her ass.
“Mmph, c’mon, Jude. I’m not done with you yet. We’re not done. Not even close! Now make me come! Do it!”
The sweat was running down their bodies. It was magnificent, sloppy, dirty, amazing. Judy worked on V as hard as she could. Tasting her, sucking on her swollen pussy like it was what she was born to do….
“Yes! Jude! Keep going! Don’t you dare stop! Harder! Harder! Yes! YES!”
Their bodies glistened with the sweetest-smelling sweat. Honey mixed with the juices that came from deep inside them. They produced so much of it. It dripped from between their legs and made V’s bush shine wet with dew. Judy was shaved, and it kinda intensified those same incredible sensations of being covered in one another’s slickness.
They fucked for as long and as hard as they could.
And when it came time to alight, they actually screamed out as one, crying, Judy collapsed against Valerie. Still moving, still in the throes of her orgasm. V held her tight, kept kissing her on the neck as she bucked and thrust the last remnants of their union. The bedroom looked as though a tornado passed through. Sheets everywhere (except on the bed). Crumpled up in balls, thrown all over the floor. One of them even on the bathroom floor. Panties atop the TV, thrown indiscriminately in the empty bathtub. Bras hanging off the doorknobs. Socks and sneakers mismatched, paired with heels and flip-flops. Leftover food, sitting on metal trays. Empty bottles of wine. It was so messy, that when V first opened her eyes the next morning, she thought they’d been robbed.
Judy put her fears at ease with a soft kiss.
“Mhmm, it was us, calabacita. We went a little crazy since we checked back in.”
“A little? Judy, look at this? It’s a pigsty!”
“Hehe.”
“What?”
“What’s a pigsty?”
“Something really messy! Hmph! I heard it in a BD once. It means a sloppy mess.”
“Ohhh, like you last night, with your face buried in my pussy, sucking on it like there was no tomor-”
“Stop! Shut up, Jude! You were worse. Begging me to stop and shit! Oh, V, please! Please! No mo-”
“Argh! That’s it. Get over here! I’m gonna tickle you until you can’t see!”
(....And that’s how they spent their three days, waiting to fly back home to Spain because they forgot to pack a few rolls of film)
But it was sublime in every single sense of the word….
Notes:
Next: Home.
Chapter 38: Of An Essence Rediscovered
Summary:
37,000 feet in the air, Judy and V find themselves in an awkward, uncomfortable situation.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….They sat on the plane, holding hands. V leaned against her wife’s shoulder, sunglasses still on. Lipstick, pink. Eyeshadow, dark. Sexy. Tattoos on her arms and legs (not as many as Jude, but still enough to turn heads). Body spray, Lilacs and Violets. Nose ring, tongue stud. Nine earrings on each ear. Valerie looked like she was on her way to a rock concert, or the grand opening of some preem, new exclusive nightclub. She closed her eyes, and cuddled closer to Judy. She could smell her wife’s subtle perfume. Beautiful, like crushed rose petals and she sighed, happy. V was so happy.
“Ready?” She whispered in her too sexy voice. She sounded a bit more raspy now that she was in her thirties. Smoking cigarettes will do that. But Judy thought she sounded divine, and every time she heard her wife, she melted just a little more.
“I’m ready, calabacita.” Her voice dipped and became lower, deeper. “Did we leave the bedroom once?” She asked and squeezed V’s arm.
“No, leelou bean,” she answered. “That’s why our mini-return trip went by so fast.” She cuddled closer, catching a delightful whiff of Judy’s skin. V opened her mouth and wished they were right back in their bed.
“You tired?” Judy asked.
“Yes and no. I don’t know. Maybe? I think I’m actually gonna miss it this time. NC. I really loved being here with you baby.”
“Mhmm, me too. Definitely. Well, I guess when we get back, I gotta start looking for a full-time job. Fuck.” Jude had the window seat and she stared out of it onto the runway below. They were getting to take off. Any minute now.
“We’re okay,” V reassured. “I’m a hypochondriac when it comes to that shit, but we’re okay. Take your time, baby. And if you get an offer and it doesn’t feel right, then don’t take the job.” She kissed Judy. “We’ll make it work, okay?”
“I love you, Valerie. I can’t put it into words how much I feel for you.”
V sighed contentedly. “Well try, at least,” she cooed.
“It’s like. I met this person who just makes me feel so nova, all the time. Just the way you look at me. It takes away all the fear and anxiety. All the doubt and uncertainty.”
“Mmmm, good. Keep going,” V whispered, nuzzling closer.
“I love your style. Look at you. Your outfit. You’re so hot, V. The piercings, the ink. The way you wear your hair and makeup. Don’t even get me started on you fuckin’ good you smell.”
V smiled and rubbed her face against Judy’s. “Get started,” she said, in a flirty voice.
“It’s like the most delicious scents, all the time. Flowers pressed on top of your sweet skin. Fruits, bubble gum. Just thinkin’ about it makes me wanna taste you.”
“Mmmm, are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?” V asked with a hint of mischief in her lovely voice.
“Bathroom? Once we’re in the air?” Judy whispered, barely able to contain her excitement.
“Shhh, mhmm. I’ll get up first. You follow about five minutes later. Okay?”
Judy’s breath caught in her throat. “Fuck yes, calabacita. Can’t wait.”
“Me neither….”
II.
About an hour later, they were at 37,000 feet. The plane moved with quiet ease. They could barely tell they were in the air. The stewardesses had finished with all their preliminary bullshit and V opened her eyes and looked at her wife.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,” Judy gasped.
“Five minutes, leelou bean. Then come and fuck me in the bathroom.”
“I’m so fuckin’ wet already.”
“Mmmm, I’m right there with you,” V whispered, standing, turning and making her way down the aisle, to the bathroom.
It was empty. Of course it was. Nothing was going to get in their way. V stepped in and light flicked on. She looked at herself in the mirror and touched the glass with her fingertip.
“I’m so happy,” she said to her reflection. “Don’t ever let me forget these moments.” She kissed her finger and pressed it to the glass. Then she turned the water on, splashed her face, checked her breath, unbuttoned the top button on her shorts, pulled the zipper down and sat on the edge of the sink, legs opened slightly….
Waiting for a certain techie to come walking through the door.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, Judy snuck in, giggling. As soon as she did, V grabbed her and pulled her close.
“I’m so turned on,” Judy gasped. “What if we get caught?”
“What are they gonna do?” V smiled. “Kick us off the plane?”
They laughed and then Judy went to her knees, pulling off V’s tight jean shorts and her black panties in one slow, tantalizing motion. She looked at Valerie’s perfectly manicured landing strip, thick with lush, black hair. Curly, soft. Perfect. She stared for so long, she felt V’s hand on the back of her head. She looked up to see her wife grinning.
“It’s not gonna lick itself, baby,” V winked. “Come on. Get in there. Give me everything you’ve got.”
“Fuck,” Judy gasped, and dove in with lust in her eyes.
She parted V’s glistening, puffy lips, opening her up gently, and running her tongue along the inside of her soft folds, pressing, tasting her sweet, salty, feminine scent. Her mouth kissed the clit over and over, sucking gently. V’s back arched. Her hand on the back of Judy’s head, keeping her there, steadying her.
“God, just like that. Oh fuck, Jude. You know, shit. Keep that tongue moving. Don’t stop. Oh, god.”
Judy pushed in deeper, tasting Valerie’s inner essence. It was thick and smooth, something to be savored, cherished. Worshipped.
“Mmph, how can your fuckin’ pussy taste this preem? Oh my fuckin’ god, V. You’re delicious.”
Suddenly the plane rolled slightly, hit with a little turbulence to match the frenetic pace in the bathroom. Judy worked efficiently. Her tongue spinning over V’s now swollen clit, flicking it back and forth. The plane lurched. V bucked. The plane bumped. V thrust. Then she felt that familiar ache building in between her legs.
“I’m close. Keep going. I’m gonna come, Jude. I’m coming. I’m coming. Mmph, fuck yes. Don’t fucking stop.”
Judy held V’s hips, pulled her close, and licked her as she orgasmed against her mouth. Her hips pushing out, her head thrown back. Her body jerked and trembled. She covered her mouth and moaned through a quick, yet powerful climax. When she finally came to a stop, Judy wouldn’t let her go. Over and over, she kissed the inside of her thighs. Her lips dragging along the surface of Valerie’s hot skin, leaving wet, damp marks all over.
The smell of sex lingered heavily and then they both gasped as they heard a soft, tentative knock on the door.
“Oh fuck,” Judy whispered, wiping her mouth and shaking her head. “Oh fuck.”
V put her finger in the air and mouthed, “Shhh.”
Another knock and then a surprisingly sultry voice.
“Excuse me? This is Riley. I'm one of the stewardesses. Is everything okay? There’s a passenger that needs to use the facilities. Hello?”
Judy cocked an eyebrow. “She sounds hot, right?”
V pretended to be pissed and raised her hand like she wanted to smack Jude, but she nodded her head and answered, “Yeah, she kinda does.” Then she cleared her throat. “Ahem I’ll just be a second. I’m sorry. I’ll be right out.”
“What are we gonna do, V?”
“We have to take the walk of shame together.”
“Fuck.”
They both sniffed. A light, airy scent of their lovemaking still sweetly hung in the air.
“I’m so embarrassed. We gotta go, Jude. We don’t have a choice.” V quickly pulled her panties up. They were damp. She had to shimmy into her shorts because her skin was sweaty, but in her haste, she forgot to button the top button.
“Ready?”
“Uh-huh. C’mon.”
When they opened the door, they were confronted by an extremely attractive stewardess. Her name tag said, "Riley S." She stared at V and Judy. They blushed because they knew she could tell instantly what had just happened. Judy’s hair was a mess and V’s body was glowing, illuminated from her recent orgasm….
Riley was standing next to an older gentleman. "Okay, sir." She nudged him forward and he walked in the bathroom, quickly closing the door and locking it behind him.
Faces flushed, Jude and Valerie stood there like they just got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. They bit their nails and looked everywhere but in Riley's direction.
The stewardess cleared her throat. She was young. Probably no more than 24. She eyed both women up and down. Riley thought them both incredibly attractive. She would’ve never admitted it in a million years but she felt a tingling sensation below her waist. She knew these two women standing in front of her had just got done fucking in the bathroom.
“Is everything okay?” She asked, trying to sound firm, but her breath caught. “There’s only one p-passenger allowed in the restrooms at any given time. I’m sure we went over that before we took off, yes?”
“Mhmm, yep.” The two women responded, cheeks burning.
“Ms.” Riley said, staring in V’s direction. Her head whipped up.
“Yeah?”
Riley didn’t speak, but her eyes went straight to Valerie’s crotch. Judy followed them.
“V, your button,” she said, nudging her wife.
“Oh shit. I mean. Thanks.” She ran a hand through her hair and smiled uneasily, buttoning it as fast as she could.
“Would you like me to show you to your seats?” Riley asked in a warm, honeyed voice. She didn’t wait for an answer. She turned around and waved for them to follow her. They both did, trying as hard as they could not to burst out laughing.
When they reached their destination, Riley extended her arm, motioning for them to sit.
“Thanks,” Judy smiled. V nodded, smiling.
And then the stewardess bit her bottom lip. Her own cheeks were slightly flushed. She was suddenly hot in her stuffy airline uniform.
“Will there be anything else?” she asked. When neither of them answered, she slid her tongue across her bright, white teeth and whispered, “Anything?”
Notes:
Next: Nothing in the world is as good as being in love....
Chapter 39: Of An Essence Rediscovered Pt. 2
Summary:
Back home. Spain. V's first day back at work. Adjustment periods ahead. Sarah says hi. Judy's applying for jobs. V's boss, Ms. Reena has a few choice words for the former merc.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Monday Morning….Back home. Spain.
It was V’s first day back in the office and her outfit already felt a little too constrictive. She was wearing beige slacks and a white, short-sleeved blouse as a top. Most of her jewelry had been removed (she kept her nose ring, a necklace, and two earrings in each ear). She stood in front of the bathroom, primping and smoothing out her hair. She spritzed herself with a new perfume she’d picked up in Night City. It carried a scent of lavender, and a light touch of patchouli.
And then the door opened and in stepped Sarah….
V saw her in the mirror and smiled, but inside, her pulse kicked up and her heart pumped. Things were better between the two women. Especially after Sarah agreed to serve as a witness for her and Judy. But there was still that unspoken awkwardness, and V felt it as soon as the younger woman’s eyes met hers.
“Welcome home,” Sarah whispered. “Can I have a hug?”
Valerie nodded, and waved her in. “Hey, Sar. C’mere.”
They stood in the center and embraced. It wasn’t weird or uncomfortable.
It was actually nice.
“You look amazing, V. I love your outfit.” Sarah sniffed and added, “Is that new. It smells nova.”
“Ugh. Thanks. But you don’t think the pants make my legs look heavy? The top feels like it doesn’t sit right.”
Sarah held V out at arm’s length. She was taller and it was weird because she was ten years younger. She shook her head and sighed.
“You look incredible. The outfit fits you perfectly. Love your hair. Highlights?”
“Mhmm. Thanks.”
And then, Sarah pulled close and held V at the waist.
“I missed you. How’s Judy? She okay?” She turned her head and V felt the younger woman’s warm breath brush past her neck. She thought about backing up, but then decided to stay.
“She’s great, Sar. Even though it’s been over a year, it still feels like we’re newlyweds. Everything’s preem. How are you?”
Sarah looked away.
“Oh, you know. Trying to date. Get myself out there. Meet people.” She rolled her eyes.
V cleared her throat. This wasn’t a path she wanted to go further down. Subtly, she changed the subject but Sarah noticed right away.
“How’s Reena? Was she pissed I got back late?”
“Who knows? She fuckin’ weird. You know that, V. She’s been riding us hard lately. Our quarterly paperwork’s due and none of us in the department are close to being finished.”
Valerie did a facepalm.
“Fuck. I completely forgot. Shit. I’m gonna be doing that for the next fucking week straight. Fuck.”
“Take your time. You just got back.”
They pulled apart, and stood there. Now it was a little uncomfortable because no one knew how to end the convo.
“So,” Sarah began. “Wanna grab lunch across the street?” When V looked at her warily, she quickly added, “No pressure. I swear. Think about it. I gotta go. Text me.”
“Okay. Bye, Sar.”
“Bye, girl,” she said and winked. She turned around and walked out. V couldn’t help but take the quickest peek at her wonderful ass.
She smiled to herself and then said aloud. “Well. Here goes nothing.” And she left the bathroom and walked reluctantly to her desk, where she spent the next four hours thinking about being back in bed with Judy….
II.
….She was on her fifth job application and it wasn’t even 10:00 am. Judy sat at the kitchen table and groaned. Here she was, in her thirties and trying to find entry-level jobs for people who just finished college. The techie knew she was smart. She was good with her hands. Could fix anything. But it just felt like all those positions were filled. Either that, or they paid shit money. Not even worth her time or energy. It was hard living in another country. The language barriers were omnipresent. Judy could speak a little Spanish, but she wasn’t fluent.
It was her wife’s first day back at work. V hadn’t even been gone for three hours and Judy missed her terribly. She took out her holo and sent her calabacita a message.
“Hey you. Doing okay? I applied for five jobs already. Just sitting at the kitchen table. Missing you, baby. Come home. Let’s crawl back in bed and fool around all day. Sound good? XOXO”
Judy closed her phone, stood and started brewing another pot of coffee. She lit a cigarette and a minute later heard a ping. Her heart skipped a beat and she opened it quickly.
“Leelou bean. Don’t tempt me. I’m already thinking of going home sick. The time’s going by sooo slowwww. Ugh! XOXO”
Judy smiled but then her breath caught. She thought of Sarah, and the fact that she worked in the same office as V. A searing stab of jealousy hit her hard.
They’d reconciled a long time ago. Sarah apologized for the holocalls, and for everything else. Judy had forgiven her but their relationship was icy forever after. There was something about the younger woman that threatened her. She was really good looking, smart, and she loved V. That much was obvious.
“Stop it,” she whispered, as if there were other people here with her. “Stop acting like a jealous bitch.” She stamped out the cigarette and poured herself another cup of coffee. Judy looked at the clock. 10:20 now.
It was gonna be a really, really long day.
III.
….It was lunchtime. V pushed her chair out from under the desk and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Well, that sucked,” she said to no one in particular but she jumped as a voice behind her said,
“What sucked?"
Valerie swiveled around in her chair and looked up to see her boss, Reena, standing there, staring down at her. She had an indifferent expression on her face. Not exactly kind or friendly. But not necessarily mean or cold either.
V stumbled and turned red. “Oh uhhh, my computer froze and I lost what I was working on. It’s cool now though, hehe. Hi, Reena."
The other woman didn’t smile.
“Welcome home, V. How was Night City?”
(Fuck. She has to start talking to me on my fucking lunch break? She timed this shit perfectly, V thought to herself. She forced a smile. Her holo pinged. Judy or Sarah asking about lunch. She only had a half-hour!)
“Ehhh, it was good. We had a great time.”
“Mmmm, I’ll bet.”
(What the fuck was that supposed to mean?)
“Reena. I’m sorry. I’d love to stay and chat. But I’m starving. I was gonna run across the street. So, if you’ll excuse me.”
“You have some friends in high places.” Reena licked her lips. “Solomon Reed?”
Valerie flushed. “Ummm, yeah. We, uhhh, worked together a long, long time ago.”
“Yes. He told me. He likes you, V. Respects you. Seems to think you’re a hard worker.”
“I appreciate that.”
Reena smiled for the first time. Leaned in a little closer and muttered, “Well. He said it. Not me. Better hurry if you want to run out. I know you've been missing a lot of work lately, so in case you forgot, lunch is only half an hour.” And with that, she turned around and walked away.
Valerie sat there fuming. Bitch! She screamed inside. Fuckin’ bitch! Argh! I’d love to give her a piece of my mind!
Quickly, she texted Judy.
“I love you. My boss is a fucking bitch. Tell you all about it later. M’wah!”
And then she pinged Sarah.
“Hello? V?”
“Hey, Sar,” she whispered in a low voice. “I got fucking stuck talking to Reena. Bitch. She’s so pissed I took those extra three days. Anyway, I don’t think I’m gonna have time to run out. Can you pick me up a salad? Please? I’ll pay you back.”
“Sure. What do you want on it?" She smiled and thought of everything but salads.
Judy read her wife’s message and answered, “Awww. I’m sorry, calabacita. I’ll be right here when you get home. Love you. Bye.”
IV.
The rest of the day dragged by as slowly as it possibly could. V didn’t end up leaving until almost 7:00 pm. She’d worked for eleven hours and still didn’t feel like she accomplished anything.
But all that faded away as soon as she unlocked her front door….
Judy came running out of nowhere and jumped straight in her arms, wrapping her legs tightly around V’s waist. She kissed her a thousand times.
“Oooh. My sexy little businesswoman. Wow. How fucking good you look. All professional and shit. So hot and stuffy under those clothes, hmmm? Can’t wait to peel those pants off, huh? I bet your panties are all stuck up in your ass crack, hehe."
V laughed because that’s exactly where they were. She held her wife and bounced her up and down. “Yeah. Pull 'em out with your teeth. I'm so fuckin' glad to be home.”
In a low voice, Judy said, “Bring us to the bedroom. I’ll help you forget all about work. C’mon, Valerie….”
Notes:
Next: V's work/life balance is out of whack. Judy's struggling to find work. Money's tight. Priorities though?
Chapter 40: Work, Life, Work....
Summary:
V made it to Friday! One more day in the office and then it's the weekend. But when she and Judy decide to fool around at 7:30 in the morning, Valerie realizes she's gonna be late! Her boss, Reena, is just looking for her to make the tiniest mistake. Can V make it to work on time, or will she face the wrath of her bitch of a boss?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Spain
(….It sucked.)
They weren’t used to being this far apart from each other, and it sucked.
V couldn’t get any work done. Her boss, Reena, was being a complete and total bitch. Sarah was starting to get clingy (every day she asked V to have lunch with her) and she missed Judy more and more as the dull, monotony of the working life interfered more and more with their love.
Friday morning dawned cool and brisk. V’s alarm went off and completely annihilated her peace of mind. Judy groaned in exhausted annoyance and mumbled, “Fuck. Already?”
“Ugh, yeah.” In all reality, Valerie could not believe she made it to the weekend with her sanity still somewhat intact. All she had to do was get through today and the next 48 hours was hers to do with what she wanted.
Her first week back in the office totally sucked.
She hit snooze, rolled over and cuddled as close to her wife as she could. Judy’s body was so hot from being under the blankets all night. All she had on was a pair of striped boxer shorts. V was wearing even less. One sock on her left foot (she lost the other one rubbing Judy’s leg) and nothing else.
She had a thick strip of lush pubic hair running down the center of her pussy and when it hit Judy’s left ass cheek, they both moaned in happiness.
“Fuck, V. Is that your fuckin’ pussy?” Judy gasped. Her body trembled.
“Mhmm,” she whispered. Her morning voice was almost too sexy for human ears. “I let it grow out a little, just trimmed the sides.”
Judy’s mouth hung open in lust. “It’s so soft. Jesus Christ. It feels like fur. Can I fuckin’ lick you all day?”
V sighed sadly. “No, leelou bean. But you can go down on me until I have to leave for wo-”
She didn’t even have time to finish. Judy was already moving down, kissing her every step of the way. Lips pressed against smooth skin. Licking, dragging her tongue over V’s thighs, smelling her heat. Holding her by the hips and burying her head deep between her legs.
With both hands, she took handfuls of Judy’s green and purple hair and held her against her thick landing strip. Jude moaned into V’s twitching opening and she cried out and thrust harshly.
“Fuck, baby. Taste me. Jesus. Uh, fuck.”
Tenderly, Judy parted Valerie’s swollen pussy lips with the front of her tongue, opening her up and licking the pungent slick that had settled there all night. The scent was immediate, bold, sharp and they both whimpered as they made love under the heavy blankets.
“How can you smell this fucking good? Driving me out of my fuckin’ mind,” Judy gasped, her tongue moving in long, deep strokes, caressing Valerie’s folds, pushing her nose right up against the other woman’s throbbing clit.
V shook her head back and forth, already so close to an early morning orgasm.
“I’m, jeez. I’m, oh, I’m close already. Fuckin’ gonna make me come and ‘m not even awake yet. Fuck.”
Judy just moaned softly into V’s heat, licking rhythmically, curling her tongue around V’s clit and softly sucking on it.
“Come for me, calabacita. Please. I want every fucking drop of you in my mouth.”
Thirty seconds later, V tensed and then screamed as the orgasm ripped through her body, sending jolts of energy everywhere. She came harshly, powerfully, dripping uncontrollably.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Ahhh, shit Jude! Damn!”
As soon as Valerie finished, she turned her hips, spun her body and dove into Judy, licking sloppily over the top of her shorts. They were in a sixty nine position and fucked like it was their last morning on earth together. They both came and couldn’t stop….
Unfortunately, V forgot she had to be at work in less than an hour and when they finally slowed down and she looked at her holo, she yelled, “Fuck! I’m gonna be late! Oh fuck!”
She rolled over and tried to jump out of bed too fast, but her body hadn’t yet fully recovered and she tripped and fell to the floor. Judy moaned weakly. She couldn’t move at all. She was still lost in the midst of her own deep pleasure and whispered, “You okay?”
“No! I’m gonna be late! Reena’s probably waiting at the fuckin’ door! Fuck! I have 30 minutes to get ready and get there!”
Jude was wasted, satiated. No help at all. She lay there under the blankets, lost in another world. She was asleep five minutes later.
V meanwhile was running around the apartment, trying as quickly as she could to throw something on. She found a pair of pantyhose, and an old navy blue skirt, white blouse and threw them on without thinking. She looked at herself in the mirror.
“Fuck! I forgot underwear. Goddammit! She thought of taking everything off but then she’d definitely be late. She took a whiff of her body and wrinkled her nose. “Fuck I can’t go in like this! I stink like fucking sex! Shit. She sprayed a bunch of perfume and deodorant but it still couldn’t mask the earthy, cloying smell of lovemaking.
She checked the time: 7:47. She had thirteen minutes to make it in. She grabbed a pack of wintergreen gum. Fixed her hair, put a little lipstick and blush on and ran over to the bed. When she looked at Judy, she wanted to be pissed. Here she was, sound asleep, wearing a contented smile. Her face, still slick with V’s juices.
“Argh, sleep, you gonk. I'm so jealous," V whispered, bending down to kiss her wife. “Wish so bad I could crawl back in with you.” Suddenly, Judy’s arms reached and wrapped themselves around Valerie’s waist.
“Call in sick, calabacita. Let’s fuck all day. C’mon.”
V closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth. “I can’t, baby. I’m gonna get fired. Reena’s looking for any little reason to get rid of my ass. I can feel it. I gotta go. Love you, bye.”
Judy pouted. “Hmph. Okay. Love you. Be careful.” She sniffed. “Did you take a shower?”
“No, why? Do I smell?”
“A little. Put on some perfume.”
“I did that already.”
“Yeah, well put on some more. Wash yourself in the bathroom at work if you can.” Judy’s eyes went to Valerie’s crotch. “Ya know. Like, down there, maybe?” She laughed and V tickled her.
“I’ll text you when I’m on lunch.” She checked her holo.
(7:52. Fuck….)
They waved goodbye and V turned around and ran out of the apartment, hopped in her car and sped off towards the office. Luckily, they lived really close. If there was no traffic, she could make it. It was gonna be close.
She pulled into the parking lot and slammed the brakes. It was 7:58, but she still had to get to her desk. V ran across the lot like she was a merc back in Night City. When she finally made it to her desk, breathless, panting. She checked the time. 8:01. Okay. Not bad. Not bad. She sat down and settled herself. She just needed a couple of minutes to relax.
But a minute later, Sarah came over with two cups of coffee and when she looked at the older woman, she made a face. V looked exactly like someone who just finished having morning sex. Her outfit was all wrinkled, makeup down too quickly, hastily. Hair messed up. And there was the slightest, slightest whiff of something curious in the air around her. Sarah recognized it right away and it made her own pussy ache with memory. Perfume can't mask everything....
The unmistakable scent of Valerie. Unique. Wonderful, salty, organic and sweet. It was sublime.
V hadn’t noticed the younger woman. She was bending down, fixing the strap on her heels.
“Hey, morning. I brought you coffee. Extra cream, extra sugar. How could I forget?”
Valerie’s head shot up and she sighed. “Hey, morning. Fuck, I can’t believe I made it in here on time.” She looked at the plastic cup in Sarah’s hand. “Mmmm, fuck yes. Coffee. Thank you.”
The other woman smiled uneasily. She couldn’t help it. Even after a year, she still wanted V. She tried to forget her, but it was so much easier said than done.
“Rough night? Or, morning?” Sarah asked, tilting her nose and inhaling softly.
V flushed pink. “Ummm, uhhh. No, no. I forgot to, ummm, to set my alarm. Is Reena here?”
Sarah looked at her like she was a gonk for even asking.
“Uhhh, yeah? We have that meeting this afternoon. Remember. Our quarterly updates. Every department. Ours is today.”
Valerie’s jaw dropped and she actually whimpered in shock. “What the fuck? Oh my god. I totally fuckin’ spaced. Sarah! Fuck! I never finished my shit! When is the meeting?”
“Right after lunch. Conference room north.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I gotta finish before the meeting. How the fuck am I gonna finish before the meeting? Oh my god. I’m gonna lose my fuckin’ job, Sar!”
The other woman shook her head and sat in a nearby chair. “No you’re not. C’mon. I’ll help. We’ll get them finished if we work together.”
“Awww, Sarah. So sweet. But I can’t as-”
“You didn’t. I offered. C’mon. Pull up your files. Show me where you left off.”
V stopped and stared. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, Sarah.”
Sarah winked. “Shhh. No problem. Now, c’mon.”
….V smiled. They were so much better as friends. Just as she started to settle, out of the corner of her eye, near the back of the office, her gaze landed on Reena’s. The older woman was staring at her. No expression at all, but then her lips curled into the tiniest grin. They stared at each other for a long time, until Reena tutted, turned and walked away.
“Fuck is her problem?” V thought, bringing up the reports and thinking of how badly she wanted to delta and jump right back into Judy’s arms….
Notes:
Next: Weekends in love....
Chapter 41: Of An Essence Rediscovered Pt. 3
Summary:
Friday and with Sarah's help, a frazzled, messy V is able to finish her quarterly reports just in time for the afternoon's meeting. Reena, V's boss notices the save and has some choice words for the former merc. Meanwhile, back at home, Judy's all ready for the weekend to start off with a bang....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Friday Afternoon)
....Lunchtime rolled around and they were finally finished!
Without Sarah’s help, V would’ve been up the creek without a paddle. Screwed, fucked. She would’ve been in a shitload of trouble. But as it was, she breathed a deep sigh of relief. They'd finished the reports. Her whole morning was crazy. Fooling around with Judy in bed. Running late (forgetting to wear underwear!) and just barely making it into the office on time. All of it had left Valerie's brain frazzled and her mind scrambled. She was just now starting to feel normal again....
....Sarah had stepped up and rescued her from certain death!
“Anything you want, Sar,” V murmured. “I would have never been able to finish without you. I owe ya big time. Anything."
The younger woman’s eyes narrowed. She’d been catching the most delightful scents of V since they sat down next to each other, almost four hours before. She was so turned on, she could barely think straight. Her mind, bringing her back to those intense few months she and Valerie shared together. The constant sex. The passion with which they made love. It all came rushing back in the cramped office space.
She bit her bottom lip and whispered, ”Anything?”
V’s breath hitched. “You know what I mean, Sar. I’m married. Happily. Plus, I love having you back as a friend.”
The other woman cleared her throat and nodded. “I know. I’m just kidding. How about you buy lunch? I wanna try that new place on the corner.”
“Deal. Get whatever you want. I’m gonna finish up these last few notes.” V looked bashful, shy. She batted her eyelashes and asked, “Can you go pick it up? Pleeeease?”
“Ugh, fine.” As Sarah got up from her seat, her eyes caught the briefest glimpse of V’s inner thighs. She’d nonchalantly uncrossed her legs and shifted in her seat. (Wait. Was she not wearing any panties?) Sarah let out the tiniest whimper as she remembered how much she loved going down on Valerie. At one time, that pussy was hers and she swallowed hard. She ached to give her head. A part of her wanted to ask V to meet in one of the bathroom stalls. She came within an inch of actually saying it out loud
“Sar? You okay?” V was looking up at her with a curious expression.
“Oh,” she said, blushing hard. “Yeah. I was just thinking about what I wanted to eat for lunch.”
“Oh. Okay. Can you get me the apple, cranberry, walnut salad? Please? With goat cheese, balsamic? If they have it?”
“Sure. Of course, girl.” She covered her mouth. That was her pet name for Valerie when they were having their fling. “Sorry, it just slipped out,” Sarah said awkwardly.
“It’s okay, Sar. You called me that on Monday too. Believe me. It's cool. No worries." She smiled. "So, I’ll see you in a few?”
The other woman nodded, turned, and quickly left out the side door. V watched her walk away. Her tight ass looked preem in her work pants. She shook her head and texted her wife.
“Hey! I forgot my quarterly reports were due! I was freaking out but I just got ‘em done! Just now! Yay! Thank God!”
From their apartment, Judy was still in bed. She’d fallen back to sleep after their morning escapades and just now opened her eyes when she heard the ping. As she read the message, she wondered….
“Nova! How’d you get ‘em done so fast?”
“Shit,” V whispered. “I fuckin’ walked right into that one. God, what a fucking gonk I am.” Slowly, she thought of the perfect response. But Jude wasn’t dumb. She knew Sarah worked in the same office. “Fuck,” she muttered. Fingers typing her answer.
“Well. As a matter of fact, Sarah happened to see me in distress and offered her services!” :)
Judy stared at the answer and could not believe the blinding stab of jealousy that suddenly surged through her body. Immediately, her mind brought her back to those fucked up convos when Sarah told her how much V preferred certain things in the bedroom….
“Yeah, I bet,” was what she sent back.
V shook her head in frustration and quickly texted back.
“Baby, come on. We’re married. Don’t be like that. It was a long time ago and I was going through a bunch of shit. Can’t we just forget about it and move on? Please, leelou bean?”
From the bed, Judy softened and smiled. She knew how much Valerie loved her. She knew there was nothing to worry about. They were married. Not only that, they were as close as two girls could be. Their love was so strong, nothing would ever come between them again.
“Yeah, we can, calabacita. Absolutely. I’m sorry. I’m really happy you finished in time. Now get home so I can pull those stockings down and lick that beautiful patch of soft fur all night long, okay? It’s Friday! Yay!”
V flushed. Her pulse quickened. “Okay. Can’t wait. XOXO.”
Jude smiled and squeezed V’s pillow.
“Love you, XOXO,” she messaged and then got up to take a shower.
II.
Reena orchestrated the meeting in the conference room as though she were discussing plans for a complete restructuring of the government, and not a simple quarterly update. She had copies of the run of schedule handed out, and an administrative assistant took notes on every single word that was said. As she stood at the front of the room, going over mind numbingly boring shit, V studied the woman intensely, and for the first time began to notice things she’d never picked up before. Reena was at least in her mid-fifties, probably older, very attractive, incredibly intelligent. She knew how to carry a room and when she talked, everyone listened.
Her personality was warm enough so that no one felt alienated, yet she was stern, pragmatic in her dealings. The employees definitely knew she was the boss. And like any boss, she had her favorites and her not so favorites. Valerie, unfortunately happened to be in the latter category. For some reason, they never really got along. Maybe it was the not so subtle way in which V was hired. Reed got her the job. It was as simple as that. Was it nepotism? Probably. But Sol had President Myers’ ear, so no one ever questioned him. Ever.
Valerie was a good employee. She wasn’t great. If not for any other reason then she never placed a high priority on the job itself. She saw it as a means to an end. That’s it. It was that simple. In the beginning, when she and Jude were out of each other's lives, it afforded her the opportunity to be as far away from Night City and all the painful memories as she could possibly be. Reena was well aware of V’s overall disinterest, and she resented her for it. It was a simmering, subtle dislike. A cold war. Never openly nasty, or confrontational, but the two women did not get along. They never had….
Reena walked over to where V sat next to Sarah. She looked at the former mercenary and smiled coldly.
“Again. It pays to have friends, hmmm, V?”
“Excuse me?” V was already disheveled and out of sorts. It was Friday and she just wanted to get the fuck out of there and lie in a warm bath with Jude.
“Oh. I’m sure I’m remembering it right. I saw Sarah at your desk all morning. Helping you out no doubt, yes?”
V looked confused. “Is there a problem with that?” Sarah shifted uneasily in the next seat over.
Reena laughed casually. “Of course not. I just noticed you seemed as though you might’ve forgotten the quarterly reports were due today. Surveillance numbers. Data readouts. Coordinates. Centers of Concentration for suspected suspicious activity. Hotspots. Your department’s primary responsibility.”
“I didn’t forget,” V lied. “Sarah, she was nice enough to offer to help. And I took her up on it.”
“Mmmm,” Reena murmured and leaned in closer, so that only Valerie could hear her. “She saved you. Do you think I’m stupid?”
V’s head jerked around to face the older woman’s. “You have something to say to me, Reena? Say it. I’m not interested in innuendo or riddles. If there's a problem, let's get it out in the open."
Sarah cleared her throat. “V. Can you take a walk with me? I forgot a few papers on my desk.” She made a motion with her face, and mouthed, “Come on.”
But Valerie was seething. She’d been a merc in the most dangerous city in the NUS. She'd gone up against cyberpsychos, murderers, gangers, and mechs. Some bitchy boss lady wasn’t gonna fuck with her. She glared at Reena for so long, the older woman backed off.
“I’ll expect everything uploaded to the mainframe and emailed to my direct address before you leave today.” She looked at V with a blank expression.
V stood up and bowed overdramatically. “And you shall have it,” she whispered back. She turned and left the conference room with Sarah. She was super fucking pissed off.
….As soon as they were out in the hall, Sarah said, “C’mon, Valerie. Don’t let her get to you. She’s a bitch. You of all people should know that by now.”
“Fuck her,” V sneered. “She’s lucky I didn’t knock that grin off her smug fucking face.”
After they got what they needed, she stopped at her desk, and uploaded every single one of the quarterly reports. She emailed to Reena and slammed her laptop shut. It was almost 4:00 pm. Almost time to go. The meeting had taken up most of the afternoon.
“Are you gonna delta?” Sarah asked.
“The second that clock strikes 4, I’m fucking out of here.” But then she stopped and reached for Sarah’s hand. “Thank you. For today. I mean it. You’re a good friend, Sar.” V then surprised herself by pulling her former lover close and hugging her.
Sarah closed her eyes and caught a luscious scent of Valerie’s body. It was so strong, so feminine. So her. Because she hadn’t showered or bothered to put on any panties, her pheromones were bold, so earthy and pure. Sarah breathed in deeply through her nose and smiled.
“Welcome, V. Go home. I’ll finish everything up here.” She leaned in and kissed Valerie on the cheek. Both women flushed, but then V nodded, pulled away and waved once more, before she left for the day.
III.
When V walked through the door, she was a little disappointed. Judy was nowhere to be found. No one came running to leap into her arms. She sighed, tired and bitchy. She put her bag down on the kitchen table and groaned. The first thing she did was to start removing her clothes. She unzipped her skirt and it fell softly to the floor. V caught a subtle scent of herself. She looked at her stockings and could see the faint outline of her thick, dark strip of bush.
“I can’t fuckin’ believe I went to work like this. There has to be something fucking wrong with me.” She shook her head and laughed softly.
She went to the bedroom, stood in front of the long mirror and looked at her body. She was nude now, except for the pantyhose. As she stared at herself, she felt more and more aroused.
Judy's voice tore through the room. "Calabacita! In here! Hurry! And leave those stockings on!"
V giggled to herself and whispered. “We think exactly alike, leelou bean.” With both hands, she pulled the hosiery up, stretching it taut. She let out a tiny gasp as the thin, smooth nylon enfolded her pussy and held it snugly. She had to admit. She felt fucking sexy (and a little trashy too!). She walked slowly to the bathroom door but before she could knock, Judy called out,
“It’s open. Get your ass in here."
When she opened the door, V was greeted by the sight of her wife on her knees, naked, waiting for her. When their eyes met, they both smiled widely. V went to speak Judy put a finger to her lips.
“Shhh. Now. I’ve waited for that pussy since the moment you left, and you’re gonna give it to me. I wanna lick it over the top of those super sexy fuckin' stockings. I’m so wet, I can barely think straight. C’mere you.” Judy winked and waved the other woman forward.
Valerie put her hands to her lips and whimpered with joy. After being cooped up at work all fucking day, she was beyond content, exactly where she wanted to be. Getting ready for Judy to devour her. To taste her and lick her until she came again….
“Shouldn’t I ummm, take a shower first?” V whispered coyly, knowing full well that she was never stepping foot under that water until Judy had her fill.
“Gonk, I want you like this. After a long day at work. Your clit brushing up against that sheer fabric for eight long hours. I can smell you from here. Whew, fuck. No, no shower. Now, grab hold in the front and pull those babies up. I want ‘em flush against your lips. C’mon.” Judy waved her in.
Valerie’s skin prickled. She grabbed a fistful of the nylon and yanked upwards as hard as she could. Her pussy tingled, and clenched so hard as it slid against the material. She moaned softly and moved to within a few inches of her wife’s mouth.
Judy grabbed her by the back of her stellar ass and pulled her close. Then she ran her nose up and down the V's patch of fur.
She went weak in the knees and gasped, “Lick it, c’mon. Lick me.” She was already dripping. Her juices, running down her inner thighs. She smelled Judy's arousal and scrunched her nose in lust.
Jude slid her tongue over the pantyhose, licking V’s bush. Over and over. Slowly working her mouth, smelling her, tasting her. Soon, a vertical, dark stain appeared and she sped up, licking rhythmically, deeper.
V still had a fistful of her hair and started grinding, holding her stockings up with her other hand. Sliding up and down against Jude’s mouth.
“You’re so warm, calabacita. My mouth’s on fire. Fuckin’ cunt tastes delicious. Goddammit.”
Spit was running out of the corner of Valerie’s mouth. She was panting, fucking Judy’s tongue. In a burst of strength, she yanked hard and ripped the pantyhose, freeing her pussy from the hosiery. She was open now. The air hit her swollen lips and her knees buckled. Judy cried out and parted her folds, licking her as deeply as she could, tasting the thick, pungent juices that leaked from the middle of her opening....
V whimpered loudly, getting ready to burst.
“I’m, I’m gonna, oh my god, I’m gonna c-come so fucking hard. Don’t you dare stop!”
Judy’s voice was muffled, her head buried in her wife’s pussy, sucking, licking, tasting.
“Mmph! Go ahead, come all over my face. Do it. Mmph. Wanna drink you. Come!”
V tensed. Seconds later, her body shook uncontrollably as she orgasmed powerfully, riding Judy’s mouth.
“Awww, fuck! Ya know? Coming so goddamn fucking hard! Fuck!”
Her pantyhose were torn, dangling, in shreds. Her legs, shaking. Valerie came forcefully. Thrusting, bucking and screaming out her orgasm.
As soon as she finished, Judy spun her around and dove into her from behind. With her thumbs, she spread V’s asscrack and licked her tiny pink star up and down, over and over, until she orgasmed again. The taste, musky, raw, hot….
V crumpled to the ground, wrecked. Wasted, her legs still trembling. Judy’s mouth was slick and wet. Shining with her wife’s fluids.
They fucked all night. Taking turns. Every position. They wanted to be dirty, filthy. After all, it was the start of the weekend.
(And weekends were made for all sorts of fun stuff!)
Notes:
Next: Saturdays, in love. Never leaving each other's sides.
Chapter 42: Valerie's Dream....
Summary:
V wakes up early Saturday morning in a cold sweat. She's just had one of the most erotic, sensual dreams of her entire life. And it was about....
Her boss??
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Saturday Morning
….V woke up in a cold sweat, eyes blinking, like she couldn’t believe what she’d just experienced in her mind, and whispered, “Holy shit. What a crazy fucking dream. What in the fuck did I just wake up from?”
She checked the clock. 4:37 am. Judy was fast asleep, snoring rather loudly. They’d only settled down to bed a few hours before. From the moment V got home from work, until they passed out from sheer exhaustion, she and Jude made love. They didn’t stop to eat dinner or take a nap, or have a cigarette. Nothing but lovemaking. Straight through, until they crashed and burned spectacularly....
Maybe it was a combination of a lack of rest and their passionate, erotic activities that contributed to the insane dream that still echoed in Valerie's head.
It was all about Reena.
Her bitch of a boss….
She and Reena were fucking. And it wasn’t just fucking. It was so incredibly realistic and graphic. They were at the office, in the middle of the floor, scissoring. It was raw, filthy, sensual and absolutely mind-blowing. V touched her fingers to the front of her heat. She was soaking wet. Drenched. She ran a finger up through the middle of her bush, and gasped, gently parting her swollen folds. She bit down on her thumb, closed her eyes, and imagined Reena….
At one particularly visceral point in the dream, they were using a double dildo. Thick, rubber cocks buried deep in their pussies, their cheeks, slapping together with wild, reckless abandon.
Even thinking about it now was bringing Valerie closer and closer to an orgasm. She found her clit in the darkness and went at it feverishly, thinking of her boss’s ass crashing so hard against hers.
V cried out and then quickly covered her mouth. But she sped up and went at herself harder and faster. Judy was asleep right next to her. Thankfully, she was a heavy sleeper. She hadn’t even stirred.
Meanwhile, Valerie was close. Her fingers were drenched, making obnoxiously wet sounds as they slid in and out of her pussy.
She was gonna come. Frantically, she grabbed a bunch of blankets and pressed them against her mouth as she erupted in an intensely powerful, naughty, guilty orgasm. Her mind glued to her boss, Reena. Fucking a dildo with the elegant, refined, sexy bitch.
V came so hard. She whimpered and moved her hips and thrust her back. Judy groaned but didn’t wake. V rode her body hard. The orgasm sent prickling currents coursing through her body. It was fucking amazing.
When she finally slowed down, her body bucked at least a dozen times from all the tiny aftershocks that took hold of her….
She was a mess afterwards. Hair matted, damp and sweaty. Drenched in her own juices. Fingers sticky and smelling sweetly like wet skin. Her whole body was an aphrodisiac.
Once she settled down. She rolled over on her back, stared up at the ceiling and thought of Reena until she couldn’t keep her eyes open….
II. 10:44 am.
“Mmmm, morning. I love you, calabacita. You up?”
“Ugh, so tired. What time izzit?”
“Quarter to eleven.”
“Uhhh, shit. When did we finally pass out last night?
Judy grinned, thinking of their wild, hedonistic night. “It was after 1:00 am. Want coffee?” She tried to get out of bed, but V grabbed her by the elbow and yanked her back.”
“No. Don’t leave, leelou bean. You’re so warm. Hold me. You ravished my body last night. You owe me, hmph.”
“M’kay.”
The window’s open. A gentle breeze blows through the room. They cuddle, snuggle and feel each other’s heat. Their bodies move, entwined….
In love.
They turn over and spoon. Judy’s hands wrap around V’s waist. And they breathe softly. It’s still early, just another Saturday morning in the universe. The two of them, wrapped in a thick blanket. Giggling, moaning, whimpering. Never letting go, holding tighter. Never let go.
“V?”
“Mmmm?”
“I just. I wanna tell you how beautiful you are. I swear to god. I’m the luckiest girl in the world. To have a wife as sexy, as intelligent. As romantic, and sensitive as you.”
“Awww, so sweet, Jude.”
“I mean it. I feel so much more alive when I’m close to you. I hate it when you leave for work.”
“Argh, me too. Don’t think about that now. We have the whole weekend to lie here and do absolutely nothing, okay?”
But then it hit Valerie so suddenly, she struggled for breath. A dirty slap across the face. Her dream. Reena. How she’d gone so hard at herself until she came violently, fantasizing about the attractive older woman. She shook her head, as though that might make the images go away. Of course it didn’t. She thought of her more and more.
“Calabacita? You okay? You’re spacing out on me. I asked if you were hungry.”
“Oh, uhhh, ehmm. Nah, not yet. Maybe in a little while. But I did change my mind about one thing. May I please have some coffee, leelou bean? Hehe….”
Judy smiled. “Of course. Be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”
V pointed to herself and pretended to be shocked. “Who, me?” She mouthed and blew her wife a kiss.
As soon as Jude disappeared, V immediately started imagining Reena. Her voluptuous body. Big, beautiful breasts. Tight, tight ass. Her long, straight brown hair, marked with streaks of silver. She could already feel herself getting wetter.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, touching herself and shivering. “How am I this fucking turned on by a sixty year old woman? What in the fuck is going on with me?”
The breeze drifts in and cools her smoldering body. Valerie turns on her side and grabs a pillow. Pictures of the woman who can’t stand her flooding her mind.
Then, a crazy, fucked up idea. She could check her email. See if Reena sent her any messages.
“Fuck. I left it at work,” she cursed. She grabbed her holophone. She could always check her messages that way. Excitedly, she put in her user names, passwords and log in credentials.
Soon, her work email popped up. It was inundated with thousands of messages. Most of them junk, spam. All bullshit.
But then, towards the top. One of the newer ones.
Reena. Last night at 10:30 pm? Her heart jumped. Energy coursed through her body.
“Jesus,” V thought. “She really has no life outside of her job, does she?”
When she opened it up and the read its contents, her mouth hung slack in complete shock….
V,
I just finished reading all of your reports. Excellent job. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume this was mostly your work, with a little assistance from Sarah, of course :) Thank you for getting this in on time. And I also wanted to apologize for our awkward exchange this afternoon in the conference room, and for the way I behaved on Monday. I’ve been under a lot of stress these past few weeks. Everything has to be submitted to the higher ups, and it’s a ton of paperwork for me. Anyway, I took out some of my frustrations on you. And that’s not fair. I’m sorry and I hope you can forgive me. From here on out, maybe we can at least try to be better colleagues towards each other. I’m game if you are….
Enjoy your weekend. See you Monday,
Reena Winters
V’s heart was literally pounding. A fucking smiley face? What. The. Fuck? She read through the message at least a hundred more times. Her head was spinning. What the fuck happened? A fuckin' smiley face? Really?
“It’s just too much of a coincidence!” She said to herself. “The same night I have an incredibly intense, erotic dream about her, she decides to apologize? This is too fucking weird!"
“Aiee!” V screamed as Judy jumped on the bed. “Judy! Argh! You scared the shit out of me! Ugh!”
Her wife looked at her with a bemused expression. “I’m sorry. I thought you heard me say the coffee’s ready. I’m sorry, calabacita. What’cha looking at?”
V tensed. She suddenly became very aware she was reading Reena’s email like a love letter. She was wholly embarrassed by her reactions to one, lousy five minute dream.
“Oh, uhhh. An email. From my boss.”
“Ewww.” Judy made a face. “That bitch you’re always telling me about? The one I told you to seduce? Haha! What did she have to say?”
Valerie turned bright red and swallowed. There was a lump in her throat. “She, uhhh. She apologized.”
“What? Are you kidding me? Lemme see.” As Judy went to take V’s holo, she instinctively yanked it back. It was like she didn’t want her wife to know anymore.
Judy gave her a dirty look. “Why can’t I see your phone? Can I read the email? Gonk.”
V licked her lips. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m just in shock that she’d apologize. I thought she hated my guts.”
“That’s impossible, V. You’re so cute and lovable and I wanna squeeze you, kiss you. Mmph, fucking c’mere.” Judy tackled Valerie on the bed and started tickling her. She forgot all about the message and dove into her wife with one thing on her mind. She moaned and moments later, they were rolling around, having sex under the blankets. It was intense. Passionate. Full of feeling and emotion….
V’s hormones were so far out of whack, she couldn’t tell up from down. Left from right….
Judy from….
Reena?
No, no, no, no….
It was just a dream. One stupid, surreal, embarrassing dream.
But….
(It was such a vivid dream.
So sexual. So arousing and dirty. So good. So fucking intense....)
Afterwards, Judy was in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette. V was on her holo, thinking of the perfect response to send to her boss.
A woman who was old enough to be her mother. A woman she was suddenly crushin’ on so freakin' hard!
Reena,
I just read your email and I want to say, thank you. I mean it. Thank you for your apology and recognizing my work. I absolutely forgive you. And for my part, I too apologize for my behavior in the conference room. I was acting immature. I respect you. I think you’re doing a great job and I would love it if we could start with a clean slate.
Hey, if you’re not too busy, would you like to have lunch on Monday? I completely understand if you can't, but I wanted to ask anyway.
Take care. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
V
(Valerie paused. Was she gushing? Was it over the top? Too much? Her heart was pounding. Was she seriously considering asking her boss to lunch? Her finger hovered over the delete button for what seemed like forever. But then she remembered the dream. How hot Reena looked with that dildo up her ass, fucking it like there was no tomorrow. She suddenly felt all warm and damp. Then she hit send and waited….)
She and Jude decided to spend the day out. They got dressed and took off for an afternoon of shopping. They went to a few boutiques, where they tried on sexy lingerie for each other and laughed their asses off. It was fun. They were having a great time.
But V couldn’t stop thinking of Reena. In fact, ever since they’d left, she’d been checking her email every five minutes.
Reena never responded. V had sent her proposal over two hours earlier and so far, nothing. She panicked and thought she may have gone too far. She was getting more and more nervous as the seconds ticked past.
She was trying her best to enjoy herself but it was getting harder to hide her anxiety.
Then, around 7:00 pm, just as they were getting ready to head to dinner at one of the new restaurants in the town, her holo vibrated.
An email!
V could barely contain herself. She was afraid to look to see who it was from. She’d emailed Reena almost eight hours before. They were waiting outside for a table. The place was packed and they had to put their names on a list.
Judy was wrapped up in people watching, so Valerie discreetly pulled her holo from her front pocket and looked to see who the message was from.
She gasped, softly.
Reena had written back. V’s pulse had quickened. Her legs started bouncing up and down and she wiped the dampness from her forehead.
Should she open it? What if it was a message telling her she was inappropriate for even asking such a thing. What if it was totally off-limits? Had she crossed an invisible boundary she had no business crossing. She was freaking out. Finally, she opened it and read her boss’s answer….
V,
I would love that. Let’s make it for 1:00 pm, Monday. We’ll talk about where once we’re back in the office. I’m looking forward to it.
Reena
P.S. I’m all about clean slates!
Valerie’s mouth hung open in shock. Wait, was her boss cool? Had she completely misread her for the last four years? Her skin prickled. Heat settled between her legs. She was actually aroused! It was nuts!
Dinner was phenomenal. The restaurant actually had fish on the menu and they both ordered salmon for their entrees. They thought it was delicious. It was so rare to be able to go out and order anything that came from the water.
They split dessert and shared a coffee. Afterwards, they drove home, content and happy. Overall, it was a great night.
But Valerie couldn’t stop thinking about Monday.
What she should wear. She wanted something classy, elegant, but also a little carefree, light. (Sexy?) She’d picked up a few outfits while they were out and she still had plenty of time to try them on before her lunch date with Reena….
Midnight rolled around and they were both tucked safely in bed. V was on the outside, spooning with her wife.
As she drifted off to sleep, pictures of Reena slowly filled her mind. She couldn’t figure out why the dream had such an impact on her psyche. She wondered if she should confide in Judy. Tell her about the dream and her email. Get it out in the open. But then she thought, why? What for? I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m simply trying to rebuild a shitty relationship, that’s all. Where’s the harm in that?
She squeezed Judy and kissed her on the cheek. Then she slept soundly for eight straight hours.
....She had no more dreams.
Notes:
Next: Lunch with Reena. Judy has a job interview....
Chapter 43: Life, Blurry.
Summary:
V and Reena go to lunch. Valerie's world is turning upside down. She's slipping and her emotions are all over the place. Judy has to go away for a long weekend in order to attend a mandatory training for her new job.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….Sunday Night
Weekends go by much too fast. Before they even knew what hit them, it was Sunday night and V and Jude were both in really pissy, shitty moods. In less than twelve hours, it was back to the same old grind. Work, work, work, and more work.
Fuck….
They were all just part of the same fucked up rat-race as everyone else.
Monday mornings suck!
Sadness.
Being apart.
Separated by a society that runs purely on greed, gluttony, and most of all, needless consumption.
So everyone pays the price.
But V had a little secret she was keeping close to the vest. If she were being completely honest, she was kinda excited for Monday. That’s when Reena, her boss, agreed to have lunch with her!
The night before, Valerie had had an incredibly sensual dream about the older woman and ever since, couldn’t seem to get her mind out of the gutter.
It wasn’t like she was thinking of seducing her boss. It was nothing like that. Valerie was completely head over heels in love with Jude. She just wanted to get a little closer. Especially after the two of them had shared such intimacy! Even if it was only in her head. She wanted to study Reena’s outfit. What type of soap she used. How much perfume did she wear? Did Reena give off a natural, gentle scent of herself? Of the heat that lay buried under her stuffy, constrictive, somewhat conservative work attire? She was an elegant older woman and V had always been slightly intrigued and a little attracted to her. Her figure had softened with age. She wasn’t large. She was buxom. Her figure was full, robust and deeply alluring. She had beautiful, heavy breasts that always seemed to hug her blouses perfectly. V was so curious if her pheromones were strong or subtle. She licked her lips.
“I miss you already,” Judy whispered, looking up at her wife. They were on the couch. Their favorite position. Jude had her head resting on V’s thigh. The light from the TV spread softly through the living room, warm, bittersweet. It was almost midnight. Almost time for bed.
V ran her fingers through Judy’s colorful hair. She smiled and whispered, “Miss you more, leelou bean. Any plans for tomorrow?”
“I’ve got an online interview. Noon. That little start-up on the other side of town. You know the one I mean? Nightsky?”
“Oh shit. Yeah, I know where you mean. That’s great. Why didn’t you say anything? That’s awesome, Jude.”
“Because I didn’t want to jinx myself, I guess. I don’t have the job yet and I just feel like it’s been one setback after another. ‘M sorry, calabacita.”
Valerie leaned down and kissed her wife tenderly on the lips. “A good luck kiss. I believe in you. You’re gonna get it.”
Judy closed her eyes. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”
They were both getting sleepy. V was excited, but she wasn’t ready for the weekend to be over. Although truth be told, now that her relationship with Reena seemed to be improving, her stress wasn’t nearly as bad.
“Wanna go to bed, baby?” V murmured. “C’mon.”
“Okay….”
They were both so tired that they were asleep before their heads even hit the pillows….
II.
Monday Morning.
….It was a little after seven. V was getting ready in the bathroom. For her outfit, she chose something classy, yet also a bit risque too.
A tight, green skirt that reached just above her knees. It was form fitting and it hugged her ass perfectly. She spun around in the mirror and laughed. For her top, she chose a floral print blouse. It had an airy, loose feel. Her lace bra was white and cupped her breasts exquisitely. She had on a pair of super comfortable sandals. She chose her perfume carefully. Lavender, with a subtle hint of citrus. She loved the way it smelled on her skin. V was warm already. She held a plastic bottle of body spray and gave herself a once over.
“You look good,” she whispered to her reflection. “Have fun today, girl.”
Judy was snoring and V thought it best not to wake her. After all, she had that remote interview later on. As softly as she could, she leaned over and kissed her wife’s forehead.
“Love you,” she mouthed. “Good luck today.”
Then she turned and left, thoughts of Reena already flooding her mind….
….V sat at her desk, tapping her foot nervously, waiting for her first glimpse of Reena. Her supervisor had yet to make an appearance and it was after 8:00 am, which was a bit unusual. Where was she? Had she decided, in the end, that lunch wouldn’t be a good idea after all? She was beginning to feel anxious about the whole thing.
Just then, Sarah walked over, two cups of coffee in her hand and a warm grin on her face.
“Morning, V. Here.”
The other woman looked up and nodded. “Awww, thanks, Sar. How do you know I always forget to stop in the morning?”
“Because I lived with you for two months, gonk.” She shook her mock annoyance. “How was your weekend?”
V stopped to consider the question. Her weekend was nova. She and Jude spent a lot of time together. It was over way too fast, and, well, the craziest thing was her highly erotic dream about Reena. It was why she couldn’t sit still now, and kept glancing over her shoulder, hoping to see her boss.
“Ummm, great. It was great. You?”
“Mmmm, good. Went on a blind date.”
V turned and stared at her. “No shit? How was it?”
“Can I tell you about it over lunch?” Sarah asked, and smiled.
“Uhhh, I sorta have plans, Sar. I’m gonna have to take a rain check. Sorry.”
“Oh, ummm, Judy meeting you?”
V felt flushed. Her cheeks glowed a soft pink.
“No. No, actually. I, uhhh…. I’m having lunch with Reena.” Valerie smirked, and tried to make it seem like it was a completely normal occurrence….
Sarah’s mouth fell open. To say she was in shock would be putting it mildly.
“What? I don’t think I heard you correctly. What was that?”
….At that moment, almost like it was pre-planned, Reena came into the office. Valerie immediately looked to see what she was wearing.
“Holy shit. She looks fucking amazing,” V thought to herself as their eyes met. Reena smiled, waved and made her way across the room.
She was dressed in a light blue business suit that hugged her shapely body perfectly. Valerie couldn’t believe how good the older woman looked. Her figure was completely elegant and sexy at the same time. Reena had an air of understated confidence to her and she knew it. She wasn’t arrogant or conceited. She was simply comfortable and self-assured. V bit her bottom lip as she thought back to the dream and the double dildo. Reena’s ass looked amazing. It was almost impossible to accept that she was almost sixty years old.
As she came closer, V stood, instinctively. She studied Reena’s eyes, looking for any hints or signs of what she thought of her own outfit. When she noticed a slight curl of her lips, she felt weak in the knees and hot under her outfit. Was she sweating? How could she be so attracted to her boss?
“Good morning, V. Sarah.” Reena’s eyes landed straight on the former mercenary. They stared at each other for just a second too long. It was awkward. It was charged, but in a really good fucking way….
“Hi, Reena,” V said, and her voice came out more raspier than usual. It sounded sultry. Instantly, she felt flushed.
Sarah waved and stared at the two women in front of her. She couldn’t tell what it was, but the vibe had changed. Something was definitely different. Politely, she excused herself. She’d never felt more like a third wheel in her entire life. She wondered what in the fuck was happening on this Monday morning at 8:10 am.
“I’m gonna….” She pointed to her desk, smiled awkwardly, and left.
And the atmosphere was suddenly weird, strange, fabulous, and exciting. Curious. Alive with whispers, possibilities, and so many naughty temptations. Or was it just two colleagues getting ready to have lunch together? No, no. It was most certainly not that.
….V and Reena stood there staring at each other.
“Are we still on for lunch?” The older woman finally asked. Her voice, rich with age, smooth. She was smiling brightly….
V’s breath hitched. She was most definitely checking out her boss. There was something about the huge gap in age that drove Valerie crazy. Reena’s long, wavy, sandy brown hair fell past her shoulders. It was streaked with locks of gray. The fact that she chose not to dye her hair, made her ten times more attractive. Her large, heavy breasts sat perfectly snug behind her bra. A temptation and V felt a tinge of lust between her own legs. There was no doubt, she had a great body for an older woman.
“Y-Yeah,” she whispered. “I mean, if you still want to. I mean, yes.”
“Great. I have a place in mind. But I’d like to keep it a surprise.” She paused, and then in a lower voice, asked, “Do you like surprises, V?”
Valerie’s mind was flooded with her dream and she felt like she was burning up. Was she crushin’ on her boss? She was, wasn’t she?
“Uh-huh,” she murmured. “I like surprises.”
“Good. Meet me in my office at noon. Sound good?”
“Yes. I’ll be there. Noon. Can’t wait,” she blurted out and then laughed uncomfortably.
“Me neither,” the older woman said. She nodded once, smiled warmly, and walked away.
V realized she hadn’t been breathing. She gasped and sat down. Her head was so screwed up. There was no more denying. She had a heavy, heavy crush on her supervisor. “Holy shit,” she thought. “Does she look really fuckin’ nova or what?”
Of course, the morning passed by so slow. It felt like it was taking forever and a day to get to lunch.
V was lost in daydreams when her holophone pinged.
“Hey, calabacita. Just finished my interview. Great news! They offered me the job! Whoo! But, ummm, there’s something I need to tell you. I have to go away for three days. Mandatory training for the position. We can talk later when you get home. Love you, baby.”
V read through the message and sighed sadly. Since they’d gotten married, she and Jude hadn’t spent one night apart. It was gonna be really hard. She could feel it already.
“Awesome! Congrats, leelou bean! But that sucks! Mandatory training? Boohoo! Wah! Nooo! Talk later. Love you, XOXO.”
….Noon finally rolled around and V knocked softly on Reena’s door.
“Come in.”
She went in carefully. Reena was standing. Her eyes lit up. Again, they stared for just a second too long.
“V. Ready to go?”
“Mhmm. Can’t wait to see where you’re taking us.”
“I think you’ll like it.”
III.
They drove to the place in Reena’s sports car. It was a sleek automobile, with leather seats and all the amenities. As they drove, V caught the first subtle hints of the older woman’s scent. And she thought it clean, enticing, and curious. An understated naturalness wove its way through the car. Reena smelled of citrus. Sweet, almost like some kind of candy. Her soap, shampoo lingered when she moved or turned her head. And Valerie? She was shocked by her own body’s reactions. She felt searing heat between her legs. It spread out from below her waist and filled her with an urge to breathe deeper, longer. Reena smelled really, really good. The barely noticeable faintness of her musk filled the younger woman with delight. She couldn’t understand why she was behaving this way. Was it all because of her dream?
A few minutes later, they pulled up to the restaurant.
“I hope you like Thai.”
Valerie smiled. “I love it.”
“Good.”
She parked and they made their way inside.
It was a classy place. Decorated with fabulous artwork, all sorts of plants, and even a few wonderful sculptures. Lunch was amazing. They ordered a bunch of appetizers and shared everything. When V looked at the clock, she noticed they’d been there well over an hour.
Reena looked at her and whispered, “I won’t tell if you don’t.” They both laughed.
But it was their conversations that really took off. They discovered they were enthralled by one another’s company. V spoke of Night City, being a mercenary. Living there at such a young age. Meeting Judy. She was careful not to divulge anything too sensitive but she found herself opening up in ways she would have never done normally. She spoke of meeting President Myers, Songbird, and of course Reed. Reena listened with growing interest to every word. Her eyebrows would arch when V would talk of something exciting or dangerous. She seemed genuinely invested in everything the younger woman spoke about.
“Wow, V,” she said when there was a pause in the conversation. “You’ve lived such an incredible life. And to reconnect with Judy ten years later? That’s wonderful. I’m so happy the two of you ended up together. She seems like an amazing person.”
“She is. She really is.” But now V wanted to know more about Reena. “So, can I find out a little more about you?”
The older woman. “Hmmm, my story’s not even close to being as interesting as yours, but if you insist.”
“Try me,” V answered, coyly.
….Turns out, Reena lived alone. She transferred here from the NUS. Chicago, to be specific. The reason why she took the job in Spain was because she’d lost her husband eight years before back and it was too painful for her to be reminded of him in all the old, familiar places. Interestingly, she never had any children. She didn’t really go into the reasons why, but V gathered she was the kind of woman who was very focused on her career. Maybe she didn’t want to sacrifice her independence to be a stay at home mom.
They both lost track of time and before they knew what hit them, it was after 3:30. Time to go. Reena paid for everything. She wouldn’t even let V leave the tip.
“I had a really, really great time today, Reena. Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had a great time too. Maybe we could do it again some time soon.” She stared at V. She had hazel eyes. They were vibrant pools, tinged with experience and knowledge of a long, full life.
“I’d love that,” V said in a soft voice. She didn’t want lunch to end. She wanted to talk more. To get to know her boss on a deeper level. But they were out of time.
The ride back was quiet, subdued. Both of them had felt the connection. It was undeniable and they let it fill the empty spaces. Valerie had warmed to a woman old enough to be her mother. And Reena felt all these new emotions towards someone nearly half her age.
When she pulled into the lot. She didn’t immediately turn the car off.
“Everything okay, Reena?” V asked. Her nerves were frayed. She kept thinking she somehow said or did something to offend the other woman.
But it was basically the opposite.
“I really wish we could’ve done this sooner instead of letting four years pass us by. I wonder why we never talked before.”
Valerie was taken aback by the candor of this woman, who up until a few days, had been her sworn enemy.
“Me too,” she answered in a gentle voice. “Maybe we’re both just stubborn people.”
“Let’s not make the same mistake again, okay?”
“Okay….”
….By the time they made it back up to their floor, everyone had gone home. It was the two of them. It was after 4:00 pm and the place was desolate. V felt a tremendous pressure building in her body. This was exactly like the dream. Except this was the part where they were fucking each other with the dildo. Her cheeks burned as she nearly ran into the bathroom to masturbate. On her way past Reena’s office, V nearly left without saying goodbye. She was so aroused, she couldn’t look her boss in the eyes.
Valerie paused at the doorway. It was open. “Bye, Reena. Thanks again for lunch and for the stimulating conversations.”
“Awww, you’re welcome V. Anytime. Enjoy your night. Tell Judy I said hello. ‘Night.”
“Night.”
IV.
V raced home as fast as she could. She had to release the pent-up frustrations running through her limbs and chest. She ached for Reena to visit her again. When she opened the door to the apartment, Judy yelled out from the kitchen, “Hey, calabacita!” She smiled, waved. She was fixing dinner. “Go get changed. Food’ll be ready in about a half hour. Love you.”
“Awww, Jude. Thanks. Love you, baby. See you soon.”
V practically skipped off towards the bathroom. She closed the creaking door behind her and ripped off the skirt. She sat on the lid of the toilet and fantasized about Reena. It only took about a minute before she orgasmed spectacularly. Gripping her breast with one hand while dove into herself with the other.
Afterwards, breathless and panting, she leaned back against the toilet and ran a hand through her damp hair.
“Oh my god,” she thought to herself. “I can’t believe I’m acting like this. I haven’t been this horny since Jude and I were back in Night City.”
She rested for another minute before she changed into something much more comfortable. Sweatpants, no panties, no bra, and an old ripped tee. She washed her hands, peed, and came out to give her wife a kiss on the cheek.
“What’s up with you?” Judy asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve got that glow. You turned on or something?”
V laid her head against her wife’s chest.
“M always turned on when I’m near you. Now tell me all about the job! And what smells so fucking delicious, mmmm….”
Judy made fajitas, grilled vegetables, and baked homemade tortilla wraps. Dinner was excellent and as they ate, Judy told V everything about the job.
“So, it’d be full–time. Money’s okay. Not great, not terrible. But I’d get the chance to work with BD tech again, so I’m like, super stoked. I wish I didn’t have to leave for so long. But I got no choice. It’s either I attend or keep applying to other places.”
V reached across the table and held her hand.
“Congrats. I mean it, baby. I’m so happy for you. And yeah, it sucks you gotta go away, but at least when you get back, I can ravish you all night long. Deal?”
“Deal….”
The rest of the night passed by smoothly. They fell asleep on the couch. Spooning, watching TV. As V went to grab a glass of water, she heard her phone vibrate.
A message now? It was almost 1:00 am. She opened her holo and gasped when she saw who it was from.
It was Reena. And she wrote:
“Hey. I know it’s late and this is wildly inappropriate *cue eye roll* but I wanted to ask…. Lunch? Tomorrow? No pressure. G'night.”
V was absolutely floored, soaked already. Her fingers trembled as she typed back.
"Yes. Definitely…. G'night."
But then she paused. Her finger hovering over the send button.Her heart was thumping. She looked over at her wife. The most important person in her entire life. What would Judy do if she knew I was texting my boss about lunch. She wouldn’t like it. It was really weird and Valerie realized it right then and there. Which made what happened next even more inexplicable.
She added: “I can’t wait, Reena,” and quickly hit send. She closed her eyes as a gigantic wave of guilt and overwhelming arousal crashed seductively into her.
Her boss responded right away.
“I feel the same way. Heh, I can’t sleep.”
When Valerie read it, she nearly fainted.
“Oh fuck. What is happening to my life right now? Does my boss want to fuck me? Do I wanna fuck her? She could be my mom!"
Again, she looked over at Judy. All those years they spent apart. The pain of so many lonely days and nights. How she’d so desperately longed to be back in her arms. Now that they were married, even her wildest, craziest dreams had come true. Her life was complete. There was nothing else. But it all hung in the balance now. So far, she hadn’t really done anything wrong. She realized she was out of breath and absolutely drenched between her legs. V pressed the palm of her hand against her crotch and nearly crumbled.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered in the darkness, turning off the TV, and cradling Judy in her arms.
“This is bad, Valerie. This is like, really, really bad,” she said as Judy stirred, opened her eyes and murmured.
“Love you, forever, baby….”
V swallowed hard and kissed her wife on the forehead.
“Love you, leelou bean….”
Notes:
Next: Reena confides in Valerie something profound from her past. It helps explain why the older woman is suddenly so interested in the former mercenary.
*I'm exploring a tricky notion here. V's internal conflict. It's hard because the story's leading me in a direction I didn't necessarily want to go in when I first started it (that happens to me sometimes). If you've been here the whole time, stick around until the end. If not, stick around anyway. I hope there's still some of you out there enjoying it. I'm just writing, ya know? I may decide to start a 2nd part....
Chapter 44: Glass, Shattering, Glass....
Summary:
As Reena and Valerie's relationship deepens, the older woman shares a poignant moment from her past. It rocks V to her core, and her life spirals further and further out of control....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Tuesday
….V was up at six, standing in the shower, wracked by guilt and exhilaration in equal measure. She used a new soap and shampoo. She washed herself as thoughts of her supervisor, Reena Winters filled her fevered brain.
She thought of exploring herself, but decided to wait. Lunch would be so much more intense because of how hard she ached. V moaned softly as she freed herself and let the water run down her secret places. It was hard to relax. Everything felt so heightened and sensitive. Her body trembled as she thought of Reena’s hands running through her hair. She couldn’t believe how she was behaving. It was so fucking embarrassing! But the older woman excited Valerie so much.
She heard Judy come stumbling in, still half asleep.
“Ugh, hey. Morning. Gotta pee, sorry. ‘M so tired. Why you up so early?” She asked, sitting down.
“Uhhh, big meeting. Couldn’t relax. Morning leelou bean.”
Judy just yawned loudly. “You okay, V?”
“Oh yeah, yeah. Hey, uhhh, when’s your training?”
“I have to leave Friday afternoon and they told me I’d get back Monday afternoon….”
Good and evil soon began to vie for control of Valerie’s brain. The thoughts spinning around her head were so fucking crazy, it was almost impossible to believe they weren’t part of some strange hyper realistic fantasy, trying its best to completely fuck her up….
The angels sounded like this:
(No, Valerie. Don’t even think about it. Are you seriously considering having an affair? On Judy? She's the love of your life! Please! You’re a married woman. Your dreams all came true. You will screw up your entire life, and what for? Because you had an erotic dream about an older woman you work with? Please, please, please, please, listen to me. It’s not worth it, V. Please, I know you’re smarter than this. Remember, how all you ever wanted was to have Judy back in your arms? Well, you have her! She's yours! Don’t lose her, Valerie. Please. You will destroy yourself....
But then there was the insistent cackling of devils, and their voices were just as loud….
(Tell Reena that Judy’s gone for the weekend. See if she invites you over to her place. No one's ever gonna find out! Not in a million years! It would be your secret You and Reena. You could have sex with your boss and still be home in time to greet Jude when she gets back. It’s perfect! Perfect!)
“Valerie! Jesus Christ! I’ve been calling you for the last minute!” Judy stood with her arms crossed, on the other side of the curtain, tapping her foot….
“Huh? What? Sorry! Damn! Sorry, sorry! What did you say, Jude? I’m sorry, baby.”
“I asked if you could give me a ride to their main building. There’s a shuttle that’s leaving from there and taking all the new hirees out to the retreat. Can you give me a ride? We’d have to leave as soon as you got home from work on Friday.”
“Of course! Yes. Yes, baby.”
“I’m sorry I yelled, V. You just seem like you’ve been kinda out of it these last few days. Are you okay? Is there anything you wanna talk about?”
“Baby, I’m fine. I promise. Work’s just been stressful but I’m fine, Judy.”
“Okay. I’m going back to bed. Can I have a kiss?”
“Ugh, course you can. C’mere.”
Judy pulled the shower curtain to the side, smiled, and admired her wife’s sublime body. At 34, V still looked like she was 23. She had a perfect, flawless figure.
“Fuck, you’re so hot, V.”
“Awww, so sweet! Thanks!”
They kissed a few times, but it didn’t progress. After all, V didn’t want to be late….
“Have a good day. Text me on lunch,” Judy said and left, crawling back into bed.
II.
V, In the Office.
Reena looked even better today. She was wearing sleek, black pants that hugged her voluptuous figure so snug, so tight. V couldn’t take her eyes off her. She had on a matching jacket and an off white blouse.
V had on a really short skirt, black stockings and a red top. She smelled like she was going to a nightclub and not her cold, sterile desk. The air was so sexually charged. It was palpable.
Sarah called in sick, so when Reena came by to say good morning, Valerie was by herself.
“Hello, V,” she leaned close. “I love your outfit.”
The former merc's cheeks turned pink. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart pounded. She smiled flirtatiously and whispered, “Thanks. You look really nice too, Reena.”
Their eyes met and they each their gaze. This time, neither of them pulled away. Valerie couldn’t remember feeling this aroused for anyone other than Jude. It was something about Reena Winters. She was 59 years old. Classy, refined, sophisticated, funny, incredibly attractive and so elegant in her demeanor….
“Come to my office. Same time,” she said, and her voice was more anxious than usual. Like she could barely contain her excitement.
“Definitely,” V winked, and the older woman blushed intensely.
III.
Lunch
This time, Reena brought V to a Japanese restaurant. One of the best in the city. The food was phenomenal and they had another great experience. The second time in two days. They laughed, and opened up more about their pasts, and then Reena disclosed something that totally threw the younger woman for a loop.
All of a sudden, she’d gotten quiet. She sat there, stirring her martini with a tiny straw, looking everywhere but in Valerie’s direction.
“Reena?” V said in a tentative voice. “Is everything okay?”
The older woman smiled and wiped the corner of her eye.
“May I tell you a story? Although I have to warn you, it’s not terribly happy, and it ends rather badly.” She lifted her eyes and met V’s gaze. They watched one another for a long time.
“Sure,” Valerie whispered. “Anything.”
Reena licked her lips and sighed sadly. “I loved my husband. He was kind, gentle. So smart. He cared so much about the work he did. Environmental stuff. All over the NUS. A lifetime government employee. Loyal to a fault. Worked his way up the ladder. Honest. So rare in this day and age.” She took a deep breath. “Right around the time he and I met, I was in the midst of pursuing my undergrad degree. Political Science. I was young. 22. Discovering myself. Dealing with so many mixed up emotions and feelings. I’d never been in love before.” At this point, V noticed Reena becoming more and more emotional. She kept taking deep breaths, almost like she was trying to build up enough courage before jumping off the cliff and into a pool of water below….
Her voice dropped to a hush, barely audible.“My roommate at the time. Jessica. Jessie. God, it seems like a lifetime ago. Heh, I guess it was.” Reena shook her head and stole a glimpse of the young woman sitting across the table from her. “I, ummm. I’d never been with a woman before….”
Valerie tensed. She felt like she was gonna burn up. She closed her legs and felt such an ache weave its way through her body. Was Reena a lesbian? Bi?
“We, uhhh, we fell completely head over heels in love with each other. It was my first time. Guy, girl. Whatever. For an entire year, we were inseparable.” She cleared her throat. So obviously nervous. Reena kept shaking her head, like she was 22 again. Scared, overwhelmed, heartbroken.
Valerie wasn’t thinking. Spontaneously, she reached across the table and held the older woman’s hand. They both blushed and looked one another in the eyes.
“What happened?” V said in the softest, gentlest voice.
“She came from a very, very conservative family. Years later, I discovered they threatened to cut her out of their lives, if she continued seeing me. Anyway, one day, completely out of nowhere, she ummm, she told me she never wanted to see me again. I lost my mind. I was suicidal. For a month straight, all I did was cry and fantasize about ending my life. Couldn’t finish the semester. I had a nervous breakdown. I had to go back home.”
V was so touched to be trusted with such sensitive, emotional information. “Oh my god. Reena. I’m so very sorry. Oh, god. You never spoke to her again?”
She shook her head back and forth. “No. She transferred a day or two after she told me everything we shared. Every kiss, touch, smile, laugh. None of it was real.”
“Oh, Jesus. I’m so sorry.” V found herself fighting back tears.
But then Reena looked straight into her eyes. “V. You remind me exactly of Jessica. Exactly. It’s scary. Looks, voice, personality. Every single thing about you. The color of your lipstick, eyeshadow and blush. The way you style your hair. Jewelry. I realized it last week when we got into that argument in the conference room. Ever since you started, I always felt such strange, conflicting feelings towards you and I never knew why. But last week. I don’t know. Maybe it was the way you tilted your head or how you said my name. I don’t know. But something clicked and ever since, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” She took a breath. “About you….”
V shook her head in disbelief. It was too much. No, no. It was too much. It felt like she was having a heart attack. Nauseous. She couldn’t catch her breath and kept swallowing. She was on fire below her waist. She felt so wet. So turned on and aroused. She stood up and shook her head.
“I-I-I j-just have t-to use the restroom. I-I'm sorry. I’ll be right back.”
Reena stood up nervously. “V please. I’m sorry. I needed to tell you.”
“No. Don’t apologize. And please, please call me Valerie, okay? That’s my full name. I-I can't believe I never told you my name! In four years!” She laughed but there were tears in her eyes. Valerie was a complete wreck. Reena had done something to her. And it wasn’t simply because of an erotic dream. Not anymore. It was something else entirely now. There were all these feelings inside her. Feelings that she had no idea how to process “Please. I’ll be right back, okay?”
V smiled so sadly. She stared at the older woman, then turned and jogged to the restrooms. A few of the customers turned their heads. Reena felt awful, like she should have never said anything. Her own body felt things she hadn’t felt in decades. She had to come to terms with the fact that she wanted V desperately. She thought of the one and only other time in her life when she’d made love to a woman. It was such a magical, special, crazy, scary phase. And she wanted to feel it again.
Just one more time.
One more time….
Reena stood up and made her way to the bathroom. On her way, she found their waiter.
“Let me take care of the bill now, please.”
….When she opened the door, she heard the sounds of someone crying, softly.
Valerie was behind the door of the last stall.
Cautiously, Reena followed the raspy, beautiful sounds of the younger woman’s choked voice. She stood on the other side of the door.
“Valerie?”
“Reena. Jesus Christ. I mean, you, you can’t just say something like that and expect me to be okay.”
The older woman leaned her head against the door.
She sighed. “You’re right. Four years, you and I have worked in the same office. We never got along, never really paid attention to one another. But, I can’t live the rest of my life without telling you what’s inside my heart when I look at you now. You remind me exactly of the only woman I’ve ever been in love with. I can’t help it. I’m old, V. I can’t keep it inside. I’m sorry.”
The door opened and V stood there, holding a piece of toilet paper, blowing her nose, sniffling.
Reena’s mouth opened as she was hit with the strongest memories of one of the best (and worst) times of her life.
And then the younger woman lunged and held onto her for dear life.
“I’m married,” V whispered. Her warm breath sent chills up and down Reena’s spine. “But I fucking want you. You’re old enough to be my mother, and I want you so fucking bad, it actually hurts. It thrills me. I-I love my wife, Reena. I love her with all my heart and soul. And I have no idea what to do. After today, I don’t think if can work th–”
“No. Don’t say that. V, please. Please, we just, just stay. Please. We can be friends. Fuck I, I want you too. God, these feelings inside...."
They held one another in the bathroom of the Japanese restaurant for a long, long time. V cried hard against Reena’s shoulder as she ran her fingers through the dirty blonde hair of a woman more than half her age. Held her and closed her eyes.
She was back in college again….
Holding Jessica in her arms.
(The love of her life!)
Breathing her in.
Tasting her pheromones, inhaling the salt, scent of V’s skin.
(They even smelled the same!)
Her nervousness, her desire.
The faint, intoxicating musk of a younger woman's arousal.
Reena tasted it on the tip of her tongue.
And she squeezed her eyes shut tighter....
Notes:
Next: V calls out of work. Judy's worried. She's a very smart, perceptive woman. She knows when her calabacita's hiding something. What is happening inside V? Her emotions are scattered to the four winds....
Chapter 45: Oh, Valerie's Heart!
Summary:
V is going through something incredibly traumatic and difficult. She's struggling to come to terms with her feelings for her boss, Reena, her marriage to Judy, and her own inner turmoil. What will she ultimately decide to do? Risk ruining her marriage forever, or remembering the promise she made to Judy. A promise that was always meant to be forever.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….On Wednesday, V called in sick. She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. Her head was so completely fucked up. She couldn’t stop thinking of Reena’s revelation. Telling her she was the spitting image of her first true love, Jessica….
A growing part of her lusted after her boss. And no matter how hard she tried, V couldn’t get the older woman out of her mind. It was becoming impossible. She fantasized about making love to her from the moment she woke up, until her head hit the pillow at night.
She tried to find comfort in her own touch, but that only goes so far. She needed to be tasted, felt. V thought of Jessica. Of how terribly things ended and she wanted to give back to Reena all those feelings she felt when she was 22, falling in love for the first time….
Judy was really worried. She hadn’t seen her pumpkin this upset since they reunited back in Night City, over a year before.
V couldn’t get out of bed. She just stayed wrapped up in the thick blankets and wept….
“Hey, calabacita. Hey baby. Talk to me. Baby, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me. Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I’m just depressed. I can’t talk about it. Not yet, Jude. Please. Just be patient. Okay, baby? I just need a little space, okay?”
“Okay, okay. Take your time. I love you. I’m right here. Awww, it’s okay. I love you.”
“Love you,” V whimpered.
“Want a cup of tea?”
“M’kay. Just honey.”
“Got it. Be back in a few minutes.”
It was 9:30, and so far, she’d ignored her vibrating phone. But when she heard Judy in the kitchen, she opened up her work email, and cried a little harder….
8:30 am
Valerie,
Hey. Are you okay? Please let me know. I feel terrible about what happened yesterday. I never, ever should have laid all that on you. Please text me. Please. I’m worried I lost you. Did I?
Reena
9:17 am
Valerie,
I can’t stop thinking about what happened yesterday. Please, let me know if you’re okay. Do you need anything? Are you alone? Is your wife home? Please, let me know what’s going on.
Reena
V closed her eyes and tried to erase Reena from her mind. She couldn’t. She wanted to touch her. Run her fingers over her lips. Open her mouth and watch the older woman suck on her fingers. Her crush hadn’t subsided. It had gotten exponentially worse. Slowly, she started typing her response….
Reena,
Hey :) I’m okay. I just needed a day to process what happened. You didn’t lose me. Don’t ever worry about that. In the brief time we’ve gotten to know each other, our friendship is already very important to me. I’m just trying to figure out where we go from here. What I said in the bathroom? I meant every single word. I’m so screwed up Reena! I don’t know up from down. I know I love my wife completely. I also know I’m feeling things inside I cannot even begin to understand. Thanks for checking in. Bye-bye :)
Valerie
She hit send and sighed.
“Fuck are you doing to me, lady?” She whispered, rolling over in bed and gripping the pillow in her arms.
Judy came in with a cup of tea. She sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Here, calabacita.”
“Mmmm, thanks.”
When V took the cup from her wife, their hands accidentally brushed. Something about feeling Judy filled Valerie with more guilt. She shook her head, rolled over, and started crying.
Judy sat there, dumbfounded.
“Baby. What is wrong? Is it me? Do you need like, complete space?”
Vehemently, V shook her head no. “Uh-uh.”
“Jesus, you’re really scaring me. Are your feelings for me changing? Did something happen at work? Sarah?”
Judy was smart. Really fuckin’ smart. Perceptive. She was close to the mark. She just had the wrong woman.
Valerie turned. Her eyes were puffy, bloodshot. Her nose was runny. Her face, red and sweaty.
“My feelings aren’t changing. Never, baby. And no. It doesn’t have anything to do with Sarah.” She took a deep breath. “I just…. I’ve just been thinking about love. Relationships, us. Growing older. Do we ever really know what’s inside of us? Inside our hearts? Oh, I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. Ugh.”
“I understand. I think.” Judy was trying to be supportive, caring. “Hey, ummm. I just remembered. Your boss. She apologized, right? Is everything okay with her?”
V moaned, painfully. She knew she was blushing. She prayed Judy wouldn’t pick up on her vibes. She was barely able to squeak out, “Mhmm. ‘S okay.”
“V, did something happen between you and your boss? Did she say something to hurt you?”
“No, Jude. No, it’s okay. I just need a little rest. Okay, baby? Please? Can you just trust me? When I’m ready, I’ll come and talk to you. I promise.”
Judy smiled and nodded, but now she was on the verge of tears herself. She knew her wife was keeping something from her, and that wasn’t V’s style. Something was wrong and she didn’t want to say what that was….
“Okay, calabacita. I’m gonna go sit at the kitchen table and do some prep work for the training retreat. Anything you need, just call me. Okay? Valerie, I love you with all my heart. I’m here, whenever you’re ready.”
V reached out and squeezed her hand. She was in tears again. She just nodded and in a hollow, cracked voice, said, “Thank you. Love you.”
Judy got up and made her way out.
“Can you shut the door? I might try and sleep. Thanks.”
“Of course.”
The second she heard the chair slide out on the wooden floor, V thrust her hand underneath her sweatpants. Of course, she was soaking wet. She grazed the front of her pussy and cried out, still in tears.
It felt so fucking good, but so wrong too.
She found her clit. It was practically pulsing with arousal. Swollen and sore from constant touching. She pushed it back and forth and whimpered. Her mind, fixated on Reena Winters. Moving down the older woman’s body with her tongue, kissing her amazing breasts, sucking on her nipples, tasting her stomach, licking her deeply. Feeling her orgasm against her mouth….
Her fingers moved faster. She covered her face with the other arm of her sweatshirt. She could smell her own musk. It hung thickly in the air. Sweat, skin, and something leaking out from deep inside. She brought her fingers to her nose and inhaled, closing her eyes and imagining Reena’s mature, refined scent.
“Oh god, I’m so fucking horny,” she moaned. “How can I be this turned on? It’s nuts,” she murmured, speeding up, her hand pressing against her aching folds, finger slipping past her pussy lips, rubbing her clit in concentric circles. Rhythmic, exquisite.
Soon, the whole room smelled of her sex. She was going to erupt at any moment.
Her hand sped up, tears fell harder. Judy, right outside the door. Her beautiful wife. Dreams do come true. Reena in her head. Tears falling, touching all the secret places. The dream. The toys. Fucking an older woman. Sitting atop her lap, straddling her. Staring into her eyes as she rubbed against her lush, overgrown bush.
“Fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming. Oh my fucking god, Reena, Reena,” Valerie whispered, rolling back and forth on the bed, wrapped in so many blankets and conflicting feelings.
It was such a harsh orgasm. It ripped through her and she had to put a hand over her mouth and press down as she grunted, bucked and thrust through so many beautiful, bittersweet feelings.
As she slowed up, she lifted the blanket over her head and hid in the darkness. She was consumed by shame. It coursed through her.
Such guilt over her desires!
V closed her eyes. The last thing she remembered was her holophone vibrating again….
II.
“Hey, calabacita. Are you up? It’s almost noon. Want me to fix you some lunch?” Judy was looking down at her, ruffling her hair, smiling, but so confused because of how sad V was.
“Ugh, what, what time is it?”
“Almost noon. You’ve been asleep for three hours.”
“Oh shit, really. Jude, baby, I’m sorry.”
“What? No. No, don’t apologize. You don’t feel good. Rest, baby. I just, uhhh, I hear your holo vibrating a lot. I think someone may be trying to get a hold of you. Maybe someone at work?”
V could feel Judy’s eyes looking straight into hers. She was looking for any little hint or sign that there were problems somewhere, whether it be at work or wherever else.
“Maybe. I had a bunch of ummm, paperwork due today. My, uhhh, quarterly reports.”
Judy looked at her wife with a confused expression.
“Baby, you texted me last week from work and said you, you got ‘em done. Sarah helped. You don’t remember texting me that?”
“Oh shit,” V thought to herself. She fucking spaced and now Jude would definitely be suspicious.
“Right, right. Yeah. But I meant the follow-ups.”
“The follow-ups? What do you mean?”
“I have to resubmit everything once it’s been turned in. Like, I mean the edited, the newer versions.” V was fumbling, fucking up her lie royally. Every word she said, Judy was becoming more worried that something was wrong.
“But if someone already edits them, why do you have to redo them? I don’t understand what you’re saying, baby.”
V sighed, exasperated. “Jude, I mean. What the fuck? I just woke up. I don’t know. I had a lot of shit due today. You want me to prepare a fucking report for you too?” She glared at her wife.
The other woman cowered. Sad, confused, and most of all, worried. “No,” Judy whispered. They never spoke to each other like that. Never. “Okay, well. I, uhhh, I’m gonna go out to the living room. Maybe take a nap. I’ll see ya, okay?” She could barely keep herself from crying. She smiled and got up to leave, but Valerie grabbed her by the arm.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”
Judy took a deep breath. “Why do I feel like you’re not telling me something like, super important. What is going on, baby? Why won’t you talk to me? I’m your wife. I love you. What’s happening? You’re scaring the fuckin’ shit out of me. Do you understand?” Judy tore her arm away. She was panting. “Are you having an affair?”
V’s mouth hung open. “What did you just ask me?”
“Are you? Because I’m starting to wonder.”
“Oh, fuck off, Jude! Would you?” V shot her a super dirty look and scoffed.
But the other woman held firm. “Are you?”
“NO! OKAY? NO! God. It’s like you can’t ever have any fuckin’ time to yourself in this fucking marriage! Fuck! Fucking suffocating!”
Judy looked like she was going to scream. This was not Valerie. No way. Now she was convinced something was going on. That hurt so bad. It felt like she got shot. She burst into tears. Her breath caught in her throat.
“How could you say that? Do you mean that? Do you?”
V rolled over and yelled into her pillow. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Judy turned and ran out of the bedroom. She slammed the door as hard as she could. V could hear her running to the bathroom, crying forcefully.
III.
Immediately, she took out her holophone. She was starving for Reena. Famished…. She had three emails. All from her boss.
11:03
V,
Are you okay? I read your email. I miss you. Isn’t that crazy? I’m so embarrassed. Text me too. Please?
R.
11:49
Valerie,
Are you coming in tomorrow? Can you text me? Please? Are you thinking about quitting? Please don’t do that?
R.
12:03
V,
Why won’t you text me? I just wanna know if you’re okay? Email me again if you want. Text. Call, something. Please?
R.
….She sent Reena a text:
“Hey, sorry. I was asleep. How are you holding up? Yes, I’ll be in tomorrow. I’ve just been having a really rough day.”
(She looked up as the sound of slamming doors and loud curses echoed throughout the room. Judy’s reactions made her feel bolder, more risky in her dangerous behavior)
“I can’t fucking stop thinking about you. Every second of the day. Reena, what did you do to me?”
….Seconds later:
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I miss you.” V squeezed her eyes shut so tight. The tears were pounding on her eyelids. Angry, at the door. Judy was already crying somewhere. They were married now. Valerie’s dream had finally come true. She was a married woman, texting a 59 year old widow, her boss. She wanted to make love to this woman so badly, it was driving her crazy. She was 34. She was young. She was fascinated with this woman with whom she’d never gotten along with.
Then the woman blew her mind and told her she reminded her exactly (she even used the word, exactly!) of her first love, Jessica. That sent her over the deep end. She was gone. In a perpetual state of hunger. Hunger to please this woman. To sit naked, legs open, straddling her, rubbing against her thigh. She wanted Reena to reach beneath and rub her clit until she couldn’t see straight.
“I miss you too, V. Will you please come to work tomorrow? I need to see you.”
“Why, Reena?”
“Why? Because, I want to be near you. Even if…. Never mind.”
V panicked and almost dropped her holo.
“Even if what? Finish! Even if what, Reena!”
She waited….
Then….
“Even if I can’t touch you.”
That was it. Again, V’s hand shot down. This time, she pressed the palm of her hand against her sweatpants, the fabric sending prickling heat to her pussy and she rubbed hard, whimpering as her shaky hands held the holohpone.
It took her about a minute to come.
She clenched her teeth, and rubbed faster. Faster, pressing. Faster, spinning. Moaning. Reena. Judy’s crying. She could hear her in the next room. Reena. Stop! Is Jude coming in here? Reena. Put the phone down! Reena.
“I can’t,” she whispered to herself, just as Judy burst through the door, her orgasm tore through her. Except for her face, she was hidden under the blankets. Her holophone fell from her hand. She came so hard. Judy stared at her, fascinated, but so upset. What the fuck was going on with her wife?
V whimpered, eyes closed. She forgot about Judy Alvarez. Her wife. Her orgasm sent shivers through her body. Fucking her boss. Fucking her all night long. Sweating with her. Sucking her nipples while her fluids gushed out of her.
“God,” she whispered, still in the throes of her orgasm. “I’m coming, ahhh, fuck!” She was so sore, her clit throbbed. Red, raw, soaked….
When she finally opened her eyes, Valerie did, in fact, scream….
Judy was standing in the doorway, watching her. Studying her face. Her movements. Staring at the silhouette of her body moving, buried under so many thick blankets.
As soon as V saw her, she turned beet red. “Jude! FUCK! WHY are you watching me! What the fuck!”
“Wow,” her leelou bean said, nodding in her direction, tears in her eyes. “I’d love to be the girl you were just thinking of, hmmm?” She shook her head. “Because I know it wasn’t me.”
“Ugh!” V scoffed.
“Who was it?” Judy asked evenly. “Who were you just thinking of? I can smell you everywhere. It’s so strong, baby. Holy fuck. Who made you come that hard? I bet those sweatpants are soaking fucking wet. Who was it, Sarah? Huh? Sarah?”
Judy stood there, hands at her hips, tapping her foot, waiting for an answer.
“No one,” V said, in the softest, gentlest voice. “No one.” She was so full of shame. So full of sadness.
“Still lyin’? I’m your fucking wife! I know you better than anyone! Who made you come that hard, baby? Just fucking tell me.”
“Judy, please,” V begged. “Let it go. No one. No one specific. Just a vibe I felt.”
“Why didn’t you go to work today?”
“Because I didn’t feel like it.” V hid back under the covers. “Can’t I take a day off?”
“You flipped out because we got stuck in NC for three days! Swore you were gonna lose your job! Not even two weeks later, you’re takin’ a sick day? Why won’t you tell me the truth?”
“It’s me, baby. I’m going through something, okay? That’s really all there is to it.”
And then Judy said something that she probably shouldn’t have.
“I ended my marriage for you. For us, and now not even a year and a half later, you’re acting fuckin’ so weird about something.”
V had a look of horror on her face. “Y-You what? You ended your marriage? Well don’t do me any fucking, fucking favors, okay! Fuck it! You ended your marriage,” she sneered sarcastically. “You didn’t end shit, Judy Alvarez. You didn’t even have the fuckin’ guts to tell your wife you were fucking me.”
“You fuckin’ bitch!” Judy screamed. “FUCK OFF, VALERIE! And I’ll tell you another thing. I was married to Bianca for eleven years and never had to deal with the bullshit that I have to go through with you!”
That was the lowest of blows, and soon as Judy said, she felt sick.
“How could you say that? To me?” V was in complete shock. Devastated. “I can’t believe you just said that to me, Judy.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just upset. I didn’t mean it, baby. I made a mistake. I’m sorry. Fuck, I, I don’t know whats’s going on with us. With you. I’m sorry, baby. It feels like you’re falling out of love with me. Are you? Just tell me. I’m so fucked up, baby. Are you sleeping with someone else?”
V was too upset to answer. She just slowly shook her head no, and went back under the covers. "I Just wanna be alone, okay?”
“Okay. God, why does it feel like I’m losing you?”
“You’re not losing me,” V whispered. "I’m losing myself….”
Notes:
Next: Collapsing. Couches. Foot massages. Tears, and smiles....
Chapter 46: Turbulence
Summary:
Every marriage goes through ups and downs. For better, for worse, 'til death do V & Jude part?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Thursday Morning.
….V was at her desk by 7:48. She was scared, nervous. It took her an hour and a half to get ready. She already felt hot and sweaty. Her chest hurt. It throbbed between her legs. Her mouth was dry. She couldn’t stop thinking about Reena. It was affecting her day to day life so adversely, that Judy slept on the couch the night before. They’d never slept in separate beds. Not even back in 2077. It was anathema to them. They wouldn’t dare think of doing something like that.
Valerie kept staring at the door, waiting. She barely acknowledged Sarah as she came up holding two cups of coffee.
“Morning, V. Here. V? Hey. V. Valerie!”
“Oh, Sar. Hey. Hey.” She took the coffee and went right back to watching the door, waiting for Reena.
“You’re welcome,” Sarah said sarcastically. But V didn’t hear a word she’d said. “Valerie. Will you look at me?”
V turned slowly, like it was agonizing for her to deprive her eyes the chance to see Reena waltz into the office. “Sar, what is it? I’m just kinda out of it today.”
“Yeah, no shit. What is it with you? You’ve been acting so weird lately. Calling out now? Does this have anything to do with Reena?”
V whipped around so fast, she was dizzy. “Excuse me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Sarah?” There was rage in her gaze.
Sarah instantly felt intimidated. Meekly, she said, “Nothing, just, she seems weird too.”
V was staring at her now. “What do you mean, ‘weird?’ In what way?”
“Like, I don’t know. Listless, aimless, like her mind’s always somewhere else.” And then Sarah stunned and floored V with her next comment. “Maybe her transfer got approved faster than she thought.”
Valerie actually choked. She coughed and nearly spilled her coffee. Her voice was ragged, wild and manic. “What the fuck are you talking about Sarah? Answer me goddammit! What do you mean, transfer?”
“Jesus! Yesterday. When you were out sick. She made an announcement to the team. She’s requested a transfer back to the states. Back to the NU– V, where are you going? What’s wrong?”
The world turned upside down. The ceiling was the floor. V ran as fast as she could to Reena’s office. The door was unlocked. She barged right in and proceeded to tear it apart. Looking for something, anything to substantiate Sarah’s claim that she was transferring asap. She threw papers, supplies, dishes and cups everywhere. She threw a glass as hard as she could against the wall. She was crying uncontrollably.
“How can you fucking do this to me? How could you do this? You’re fucking leaving? Now? NOW!” She was hysterical. Colleagues started to gather around the boss's door. They were watching in stunned silence as a fellow employee tore the place to shreds. Sarah stood in the front, aghast, with a hand over her mouth in complete bafflement. Valerie’s eyes burned. Her nose was running. She was like an escaped patient from an insane asylum. “You fucking tell me all these beautiful things. So beautiful. And now you just, just delta? Fuckin’ do this to me. Fucking cruel. You fucking heartless fucking monster.” She trembled and then she found it….
Reena’s written request to be transferred. ASAP….
Suddenly, the room started spinning. Everything went dark. V fainted and fell hard on the carpeted floor.
II.
“Valerie? Hey. C’mon. Wake up. Wake up.”
….Am I dreaming?
Where am I?
Judy? Panam? Johnny? Jackie? SoMi? Reed? Misty? Vik?
Reena………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Slowly, V opened her eyes and saw her boss kneeling over her.
Oh, god. She looked….
She looked absolutely stunning.
Long, beautiful brown hair, streaked with silver. Beautiful, heavy breasts. Her nipples, poking through her bra. Her pants, so tight. What color were her panties? Were they sticking to her elegant, mature pussy? Was she wet? What does she smell like down there?
Valerie reached up and hugged the older woman as tightly as she could.
“Don’t leave, Ree," she whispered, smiling so breathlessly, tears already forming in the corners other eyes. “Don’t leave, please?”
The older woman watched, concerned, and with her thumb, dried V’s damp cheeks.
“There you are,” she said, smiling warmly. “You okay? You did a number on my office. I’m gonna have to write you up for that infraction.” She winked, and nodded. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. It’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this.”
V closed her eyes.
They were still on the floor in Reena’s office. She’d come in right after V fainted. She told everyone to get back to work and drew the shades. Told security everything was fine. A minor misunderstanding, that’s all. No big deal. Nothing to see here. Move on….
Reena helped V to her feet and walked her over to the huge plush couch that sat along the opposite wall. Tenderly, she removed her heels and laid her down, long ways. She sat down and put V’s feet in her lap. Gently, she massaged them. Rubbing them, kneading them. She thought the younger woman had just about the sexiest feet she’d ever seen before in her entire life. Slowly, with feeling and energy, her fingers touched all the right places.
V whimpered in delight.
“Fuck, that feels so good. Don’t stop.”
“I won’t,” Reena soothed. “I won’t.”
The two women stayed in her office most of the day. From about 10 until 3. Five hours. The two of them. At one point, Reena locked her door and lay down on the outside of V. She held her close. There was no kissing. Just holding….
She held the younger woman in her arms and stroked her hair softly for who knows how long. The only sounds were the intermittent moans and whimpers of both women.
“Don’t transfer. Please, Reena,” V said, dazed. Full of sadness, full of arousal and guilt. Judy was home. She had no idea what was happening. None at all. The love of her life had turned into an.... Afterthought?
“Okay. I won’t.”
“Promise?”
Reena swallowed and licked her lips. “I promise, V.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course you can.”
“Will you have dinner with me on Friday?”
The older woman closed her eyes. What was she doing? She should’ve submitted the transfer immediately. The moment she started having feelings for V, she should’ve taken off and never once looked back. She should say no right now. This is a married woman who’s over twenty years younger. It’s an easy decision. An easy answer….
“Yes, Valerie. I’d love to.”
Notes:
Next: Breaking points, sadness, heartache, pain, and hurt....
*This story took me somewhere I wasn't planning to go. If anyone's still here, I wanted it to have a happy ending. (I still might.) I can't give up on V&Jude. But I love exploring the theme of temptation. Older woman/younger woman.
Chapter 47: Ache, Judy, Ache....
Summary:
....Friday afternoon and Judy's leaving for a mandatory, three day retreat. Her new employer wants to ensure all candidates are properly trained and up to the task. V's dropping her off at the shuttle.
Their marriage is falling apart. Jude's running out of options, so she leaves a note and an ultimatum. Meanwhile, V can't stop thinking about her boss, Reena Winters. She needs to see her, but what then? Is she willing to throw everything away for a one night stand?
At her lowest point, Judy meets another new hiree. The charismatic, energetic techie, Lyssa Thomas....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Friday afternoon. (The sound of us dying?)
Judy Alvarez had never been this scared, or upset when it came to V. The only other time was the holocall from the hospital, all the way back in 2077.
Even when she was married to Bianca, Judy always kept a piece of her heart set aside for Valerie. Reconnecting at Lizzie’s, falling in love again and again and again and again….
The love she felt for V was indescribable. There were no words in the language that could properly articulate how much she loved her wife.
She would absolutely wither away and die if she were to lose Valerie. It’s not hyperbole. It’s a fact. Judy would die of a broken heart.
And up until two weeks ago, Judy thought V felt the same exact way.
Now, she wasn’t so sure, and her heart was breaking. It was. It was slowly coming apart at the seams. She was convinced that either V was having an affair, or had fallen out of love with her. She couldn’t eat, sleep, laugh, or relax.
All Judy did was cry….
Oh, she hid it from her wife. Hid it so well. But she was losing her mind. They hadn’t been intimate in almost ten days.
Ten days!!!!
It might as well have been ten million years….
Judy couldn’t breathe. She felt this unique kind of pain that tore through her soul and scratched and clawed and ripped her heart out from behind her rib cage.
Every time her eyes met Valerie’s, she had to excuse herself and go into the bathroom. As soon as she would shut the door, she would sob uncontrollably.
So, today was Friday. Her training retreat. The first time she and her wife would be separated, since they’d gotten married.
And V just didn’t even seem like she gave a shit!
It was killing Judy.
She didn’t even want to go.
She wanted to crawl in a hole and die….
She stood in the kitchen, bags packed. Waiting for V to get home from work. To drop her off at the shuttle, where all the new hirees would be driven to the training center.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She’d get home Monday afternoon.
In her shaking hands, she held a pen and a piece of paper. She wanted to write her wife a letter. She needed to let her heart speak.
Mi calabacita,
Hey, just waiting for you to come home to bring me to the shuttle.
V?
I know I’m losing you. Don’t try to deny it. My instinct’s screaming.
I’m losing you and I don’t know how or why.
I love you. Sometimes, I can’t believe how much love I feel for you. It’s overwhelming, scary, beautiful, amazing, exciting, and terrifying. All at once.
I always thought you felt the same. Through everything, I always, always felt your love. We spent a long time apart. Eleven years. But I never stopped loving you, baby. Valerie. My heart’s breaking. I hate to lay this shit on you, but I don’t know who else to talk to. I’ve never been more afraid of losing you than I am in this moment. I don’t feel your love anymore. I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m crying and my tears are hitting the paper and the ink’s bleeding. I’m sorry. Baby, why aren’t you in love with me anymore? V, I can’t eat. I lie awake on the couch and I can feel my heart pounding so hard. We don’t sleep in the same bed anymore!!!!
Do you realize how fucked up that is?
I think I’m losing my mind. I swear to god. Are you having an affair, because I’m 90% sure you are. It’s either that or you just fell out of love with me, and I can’t figure out why! Did I do something wrong? Something to hurt you? Calabacita, I can’t focus. I’m literally depressed from the moment I wake up, until I close my eyes, out on the couch.
The couch, baby! And you never even ask me to come in!
Why don’t you love me anymore?
So here’s ummm, wow. I can’t believe I’m actually seriously considering writing this down. So, here’s the thing….
I’m gonna be gone for a few days. I have a favor to ask. Think about us, our marriage. Think about our lives and everything we’ve been through. Try and remember how special and unique and incredible our love is (was?) And when I get home, if you still feel like you can’t open up to me or you need space, then I’m going to move out. I think we should separate. God! Valerie! Do you know how bad I’m hurting right now! It’s killing me to write this letter. To say these things, but I mean it, baby.
If things don’t change, I can’t be in this marriage anymore. I’m sorry. I’ll always love you forever. Longer. V, I love you with all my heart. Anyway, I think I hear your car.
Goodbye, mi calabacita. My beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, magnificent, amazing wife. Bye, baby….
Judy A.
….She ran into the bathroom, turned the fan and water on so V wouldn’t hear her. And then she cried as hard as she could.
II.
V opened the door and threw the keys on the kitchen counter. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a folded piece of paper.
She picked it up. It looked like a letter. It was addressed to her. Judy’s handwriting. With specific instructions….
“Please do not open me, until Judy has left the apartment.”
She put it back where she’d found it and ran a hand through her hair.
Their marriage was falling apart.
It was useless to try and deny it.
And it was all because of her.
She knew it. She’d gone away. Somewhere Judy couldn’t follow.
V sighed and felt crippling guilt over her behavior.
Even now, she was thinking about dropping her wife off and meeting Reena for dinner.
Was she willing to throw everything away on a woman she hardly even knew?
….Judy came out of the bathroom, wiping her eyes. Her face was red. She sniffled loudly. When she saw her wife, she tried to smile.
“Hey.”
V looked at her and felt horrible.
“Hey.”
“We should take off in a few minutes.”
“Okay. Good luck, Jude.”
“Thanks.”
No touch, no warmth. No love….
Neither of them knew what to say. Inside, Judy was screaming for V to hold her. To draw her in and squeeze her tight. They stood a few feet apart. An invisible line separated them. And Valerie had forgotten how to cross it. Judy couldn’t pull her eyes away from the beautiful woman standing in front of her. In a soft voice, trying so hard to connect, she asked,
“How was work?”
“Oh, ummm. It was okay. Boring, ya know.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you remember to pack everything?”
“I think so. It’s only a few nights.”
“Well, you ready, Jude?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
The place was about twenty minutes away. No one spoke until they were about a mile away.
“V?”
“Yeah?”
“Ummm, can I call you later?”
“Sure. You don’t have to ask me that.”
“Any plans for the weekend?” Judy asked.
“Nah. I’m shot. Just hang out at the apartment. Catch up on some rest.”
“Preem.” Jude’s voice was barely audible. It was taking more and more effort to maintain her composure.
….They pulled up and saw a bunch of people standing around, talking, waiting to be driven to the facility.
V parked the car away from the crowd. She closed her eyes and felt her wife’s fingers moving through her hair. She looked to see Judy sitting there, tears running down her cheeks, trying and failing to smile.
“What happened to us, calabacita? You used to love me, baby.”
“Jude…. I do love you.”
“This isn’t love. I know you know that deep inside your heart. Are you in love with someone else?"
“No, I promise." Valerie whispered.
Judy sighed. She was running out of energy, tired. She felt the smoothness of her wife’s hair and noticed she’d used the expensive conditioner today. Something she doesn’t normally worry about.
“I left you a letter.”
“I saw.”
“Read it when you get home. If you have a few minutes.”
“I will.”
Judy was wiping her eyes and sniffling. She put on a pair of sunglasses to hide her face. She opened the door.
“Thanks for the ride.”
“Sure.”
“Goodbye, ba– bye V.”
“Bye, Judy. Love you.”
The other woman didn’t answer right away. She sat in the seat, unable to move. Her whole life had changed in a matter of days, and it was destroying her. Inside and out. Judy burst into tears and started talking really fast.
“Baby I love you! Come back V! I’m here! I need you. I feel like I’m withering away without you. I love you. Please don’t do this to us. This is it. This is our second chance. Remember Lizzie’s? Night City? Baby, I’m half without you. God, I’m in so much pain. Valerie, what’s happening to us? We’re married. Remember 2077? You’re my wife! I need you. I’m dying. I know it. I’m dying inside. Talk to me. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I’m having a nervous breakdown. God, you’re so beautiful. Why don’t you love me anymore? Why! Why! Why! Why!”
This time, V pulled Judy into her arms. She slapped and hit but it wasn’t hard. It was just her trying desperately to reach some part, any part of her wife that still loved her.
“C’mere,” V whispered, and her voice tore through Judy’s soul. “I promise. When you get back. I’ll tell you whatever you wanna know. I’m not having an affair. I promise.”
But Judy cried harder and stammered. “That’s exactly what this feels like. I went through this with Bianca. Don’t you remember? I know something’s wrong, baby. I’m nauseous all the time! Why are you fuckin’ doing this to us? Don’t you remember? Baby, I’m your fuckin’ wife and you’re treating me like a fuckin’ stranger on the street. I can’t eat. I sleep on the couch! How sick is that?”
V squeezed her tight and thought of Reena. Her mind lusted so hard for the older woman. It was like she had no more control.
“C’mon. People are boarding. I swear when you get back, we’re gonna sit down and talk about everything. I promise.”
Judy panicked. She thought V was saying goodbye. For good. Right then and there. “Tell me now! Tell me now. You fuckin’.... I fucking hate you,” she whispered, sick with worry. “Are you fuckin’ leaving me? Are you? Tell me. I’m so fuckin’ sick to my stomach. Tell me!"
“Judy. I’m not leaving. C’mon. You’re gonna miss the shuttle.”
Judy held a few crumpled tissues in her hand and blew her nose. Wiped her face and put her sunglasses on. She jumped out of the car and left, never turning back once.
Valerie watched her go. Five minutes later, she sat alone in the parking lot as all the rides pulled away. She reached for her holophone.
“Reena?” She texted.
“Hey.”
“I need to see you. I’m alone.”
“I’m sending you my address. Hurry….”
Valerie was gone before she even knew where she was going.
III.
….Judy sat down towards the back of the bus. She was a literal mess. Hair, oily and messy. Makeup smeared, crying softly. Wondering why her marriage was ending and what the fuck she was doing with her life. She didn’t hear the young woman come up to her.
This was probably the lowest point of her entire life.
She’d never felt so alone….
“Hi!” A sweet, friendly voice said. “Can I sit with you? There’s no room up front.”
Jude’s first thought was, “Why can’t I just be left alone,” but then she looked at the girl standing there, and she did a double take.
She was a spitting image of herself! Wild, colorful hair. Tattoos all over her arms. Wearing jeans and a vibrant tank top. She looked exactly like a techie. Nerdy, but in a really cute, endearing way. She was sorta tall and had a bunch of piercings. Judy noticed she had a sleek, streamlined body.
The girl stuck out her hand.
“Lyssa Thomas! Nice to meet you!”
She was energetic, carefree and she reminded Judy of how she herself used to be. Back when she first came to Night City. Something about her look. Wide-eyed, full of curiosity. Excited about life. Ready to change the world. Or something like that….
Judy smiled, tiredly. When her hand touched the other woman’s, she felt a tingling current of electricity shoot up her arms. Lyssa gripped it firmly and smiled even wider.
“Hi. Ummm, I’m Judy. Alvarez. And yes, please. Sit.” She made a motion with her hand and the girl sat down and instantly started talking.
She was young. Fresh out of university. 23. Studying AI and Braindance technology. She was born in the states, New York and came to Spain because of the educational opportunities available. She was homesick and running out of money. This job was kind of her last chance. If it didn’t work out, she was flying back home and moving in with her parents.
Judy’s head was all over the place. But she found herself enjoying Lyssa’s company. Listening to her was helping her forget how fucked up her life had become. She wanted the girl to keep talking. Anything to avoid the sadness of her life.
“So. What’s your story, Judy?” Lyssa was staring directly at her, smiling. Her spunk, energy and personality was infectious and the older woman found herself opening up in ways she never would have thought.
She talked about her upbringing, Night City. The work she loved doing. All the techie stuff. She was suddenly relaxed, at ease. But then it came to the part of meeting Valerie, and she grew quiet, somber. She looked out the window and stared off into the distance.
“What’s wrong, Judy? Hey, everything okay?”
She just shook her head slowly back and forth.
“I ummm, I met the love of my life in Night City. We spent six incredible, magical months together, back in 2077. It was the happiest, scariest time of my life.”
“What happened?”
Judy smiled, wistfully. Almost like she was remembering a long lost friend who had recently passed away. She couldn’t help it. She started crying softly.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You just caught me at a really bad time, Lyssa.”
The girl blushed and said, “I didn’t mean to pry. But I’ll listen if you wanna talk. We have about another hour to go until we get there. It would help pass the time quicker. No pressure, but you might feel better getting it off your chest.”
From behind her sunglasses, Judy looked at this strange, warm, kind young woman. She was grinning and nodding at her. “I don’t know,” she said, wiping her eyes, embarrassed by her lack of self control. “I’m just going through a lot right now. I’m sorry.”
“Talk to me. I mean, only if you want.”
And then Lyssa Thomas winked. And it completely disarmed Judy. She loosened up and slowly, steadily, began talking about Valerie and how truly incredible their love story was.
She started all the way back at the beginning. Lizzie’s. The basement. Meeting V. The mercenary lifestyle. Growing so close. Spending so much time together. Trying to navigate their love in a crazy, fucked up, dangerous place like Night City. Judy spoke eloquently about loving V with her entire being. But then she reached the part about the shard and her voice grew quiet again. But the girl sitting next to her was encouraging, supportive, and she made it easier for Judy to open up.
“She was in a coma for two years.”
Lyssa gasped and covered her mouth. “What? Oh my god. Judy. That’s terrible! What happened?”
“Oh, god, so much, Lyssa. I didn’t know what happened. We never had a proper goodbye, so in my mind, the love of my life disappeared from the face of the earth. I waited, lost my mind, waited some more, had a mental breakdown, waited, and then I…. I met someone. Someone who was, well she was just really patient. Kind, loving. Her name was Bianca.”
Judy laughed. An ironic laugh, full of bitterness because of her current circumstances.
“What happened then?”
“She proposed and I said yes. We were married for eleven years.”
“Wow. This is such an incredible story, Judy. Eleven years? And then?”
“Hehe. And then, I went back to Night City for a fundraiser. Saw V for the first time since 2079. We fell so in love all over again. Had an affair on my wife, got divorced. Proposed to my other half, Valerie. We’ve been married ever since. That was almost two years ago now.”
“Holy shit. What a crazy fucking story. Excuse my language. So you ended up with your true love? Judy, that’s amazing!”
She paused, took her sunglasses off and lyssa gasped. Judy’s eyes were red, bloodshot, and all puffy. It looked like she’d been crying for a month straight, because in all reality, she had. She stared at the younger girl.
“Is it? Amazing? Hmmm. Sure doesn’t feel like that now.” Quickly, she put her shades back on and kept shaking her head. “I literally just met you and I’m telling you my life story. What’s that say about how lonely I am?”
But Lyssa shook her head and murmured, “Or maybe it just means you feel comfortable enough around me to wanna open up.”
Judy’s breath hitched. She turned and their eyes met for just a split second too long. They both felt hot and then quickly looked away. But something clicked between the 34 year old and the 23 year old. Judy was at one of the lowest points of her entire life, and meeting Lyssa in the moment she did, heightened every emotion that came after.
When they finally reached their destination, Judy felt ten times better. Maybe it was just being able to talk to someone and not feel like you were gonna break down in tears. They stepped off the shuttle and didn’t leave one another’s side for the entire duration of the retreat. They stood side by side through the registration process, initial intake and information sessions. They sat together at dinner and then it came time to check the room assignments. There were two people to a room. They were well maintained and resembled a cross between a studio apartment and a dorm room. Obviously, they weren’t paired together. After all, there were over fifty people in attendance. They were visibly bummed that they wouldn’t be rooming together.
But then Lyssa had an idea.
“Hey. Totally up to you, but what if we asked the staff if they could switch the assignments. Do you want to be roommates? I know, I know,” Lyssa joked. “I sound like I’m at summer camp. You okay with that? Or should I just leave it alone?”
Judy was standing there, looking around at all the people. She was definitely one of, if not the oldest person in the room, except for staff. She turned back and saw Lyssa staring at her, smiling. Friendly, warm. She missed that. Valerie had become so distant lately. She just missed talking to someone.
“No. Don’t leave it alone. Ask if we can room together. I’d like that, Lyss.” Already, Jude felt comfortable enough to shorten the girl’s name.
“Nova! Be right back!”
Judy stole a look at her ass as she skipped away. It was round, tight. Perfect. She thought of her wife and wondered where she was. Was she reading the note, or laughing in someone else’s arms?
What was happening to their marriage?
How could they lose everything they worked so hard for, so quickly?
Was it all just a fantasy?
Did true love really exist?
She wished with all her heart that things would get better….
Notes:
Next: Sometimes we have to learn things the hard way. Both women are tempted and pushed to the limit. What will they do?
Chapter 48: And Be By Your Side 'Til The Day That You Die
Summary:
Coming to one's senses, but is it too late? Is V too late?
We may get tested and tempted. We might even briefly lose our way. But
(Please read this chapter if you believe in V & Jude's love....)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….Fevered, V sped towards Reena’s apartment. She was smoking one cigarette after another, looking at herself in the rearview mirror every few seconds, dabbing at her lipstick, rubbing her blush, fixing her hair. There was such an ache between her legs. She was so sensitive down there. On fire, tingling. Pins and needles. She thought she caught the slightest whiff of her own arousal and panicked. Was it too strong? She hadn’t had time to shower because she had to drop Judy off. She was coming right from work. Her panties were definitely hot, damp. Finally, she pulled up in front of the building complex and looked around. It was really expensive looking. High class places. It was gorgeous. V did a once over of herself and jumped out of the car. She ran up the concrete stairs and just as she was about to ring the bell, Reena opened the door.
She was standing there, dressed in her work clothes too. They stood and stared. After a minute, Reena whispered, “Come here.”
V rushed into her arms and they embraced like lovers. “God, you smell so fuckin’ good, Ree,” V gasped.
“So do you,” the older woman whispered back.
(Up until now, they’d been skirting the edges of a full blown affair. There’d been no kissing or anything like that, although there was a ton of hugging and running fingers through one another’s hair. Reena had given Valerie a foot massage and in return, V gave her a back rub. But that was as far as it had gone….)
Was all that about to change?
“I-I’m so nervous,” V said, breathing heavily.
“Why? We can go slow. We haven’t done anything wrong. Have we?”
They were still hugging. V shook her head, and said, “uh-uh. Not yet. But I think I want to. Do you?”
Reena ran her lips so lightly against the side of Valerie’s neck. Her skin sparked. Goosebumps appeared and she trembled.
“I do. I can’t stop thinking about making love to you. I’m so embarrassed by my body’s reactions. V, I’m 59 years old and I haven’t been this aroused since my early 20s.”
“Me too. I’m so fuckin’ ugh, never mind. Let’s just go inside.”
They stumbled into Reena’s high end apartment and slammed the door shut behind them. V’s heart was beating so fast, she had to sit down.
“I’m sorry. I just feel a little overwhelmed.”
Reena recognized how stressed the younger woman was. They had time to take things slow.
“Don’t apologize. Want a drink?”
“Have any wine?”
“Merlot and a pinot grigio, chilled of course.”
“I’ll have a glass of the pinot.”
“Mmmm. Me too. Make yourself comfortable.”
Reena’s place was decorated with excellent taste. The furniture was top of the line. Leather and plush pieces. Dark, rich colors. Blacks and deep blues. Lightbulbs in sleek, metal fixtures attached to the ceiling gave off the perfect amount of illumination. High quality art prints hung on the different walls. Modern art, postmodern, impressionist. Eclectic works, yet they complimented one another exactly. There were huge, potted plants that sat in ceramic, clay, and terra cotta pots. Living vines hung seductively from tall bookshelves.
“I love your sense of style,” V said, gazing around the large central living room.
From the kitchen, Reena called out, “Thanks, V. I try to have something nice to look at when I get home from work late at night, ya know?”
She came back in and passed a glass to the younger woman. They raised their glasses.
“To tonight,” Reena whispered.
V blushed. “To tonight,” she said, breathless.
Their glasses clinked and they each took large sips. The wine felt warm and soothing as it tumbled down their throats. Soon, they felt themselves loosening up. Laughing, feeling flushed and wanting more….
II.
….Judy and Lyssa were able to get the room assignments changed. After dinner, there was a little icebreaker. A meet and greet. Neither of them ever strayed more than a few feet away from each other. There were cocktails, and they both started drinking, quickly getting buzzed. They sat at the bar and talked the entire time. Lyssa proved to be exactly what Judy needed at that point in time. She was so bubbly, smart, sexy, inquisitive and interested in everything Jude had to say. It helped her forget the pain of her marriage, even if it was only for a night….
“Wanna get stoned?” Lyssa winked. “I brought a few joints. Nothing crazy. Just thought I’d as-”
“Yes, come on. I saw a cool place out back, out of the way.”
“Preem.”
….Behind the building, there were gardens and several paths that led to different, little quiet spots. A gazebo. A pond with koi, a little bridge. It was a very relaxing, laid back kind of atmosphere. As they made their way down one of the long, winding pathways that led past a beautiful garden, Lyssa slipped on a patch of gravel. Instinctively, Judy reached out her hand and she grabbed hold of it.
“I got ya. Be careful. You okay, Lyss?”
“Yeah, thanks Judy.”
….It was weird. Even after she stood up, they didn’t release their grip. They walked the rest of the way, hand in hand. It was dark. A mild, temperate, warm night. A gentle breeze blew as they passed the joint back and forth. Judy hadn’t smoked in a long, long time and she got really, really high.
“Lyss. Ummm, holy shit. I’m so stoned, hehehehe. No but seriously…. Hah, hehe, hahaha! I can’t believe how high I am, whoa.”
Lyssa was subdued. Much quieter, enjoying the night air and Jude’s company. They stood a little closer to one another. It was quiet. They could hear crickets chirping and other insects singing.
“What were you going to say, Judy?” She asked in a soft voice.
“I was gonna say thank you. For today. For everything. The conversations, the laughs, this.” She held the joint up. “I was really, really fucked up when I got on the bus and you first saw me. Really sad, and you, you ummm, made me feel better. Thank you.”
“Awww. That’s so sweet, Jude! You don’t have to thank me.”
And then she leaned her head on Judy’s shoulder. It was a surprisingly tender moment, and they stayed there for a long time, silent watching the world go by. Jude felt the girl squeeze her hand, so she squeezed back. But then, Lyssa turned her head and nuzzled against the other woman’s neck. Judy felt warm breath dance across her skin. It prickled and she tensed. But the girl didn’t go further. Just rubbed her nose across Judy’s neck, back and forth. Slowly, patiently, gently.
“Lyss….”
“You smell so good, Judy.”
She didn’t answer. Her brain was going haywire. Did this girl wanna hookup? Was that what she was doing? Judy didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Seconds later, she felt a hand sliding down the front of her stomach, over her shirt. When it reached her waist, it started slowly unbuttoning her jeans. Judy’s breath caught. She gasped and pulled the girl’s hand up.
“Lyss. Please. I’m married. I’m in love with my wife.”
“I know, Judy. I listened to you talk about her for two hours. That doesn’t mean we can’t feel close to one another, does it? I’m not asking you to leave your wife.”
Then she kissed her so lightly on the neck. The young woman’s lips damp with her own nervous energy. And Jude was so high. Drunk too. She shivered. Everything, converging. The warm night air. Alive with possibility. Valerie felt so far away. So far away. Her wife. They slept in separate rooms now. The tears were coming. She couldn’t stop them. Where’s mi calabacita? She’s gone away. Lyssa’s mouth grazed underneath her chin, kissing so softly. The sounds, gentle and sensual. Judy was crying softly, as the 23 year old techie started sucking on her neck. It felt so good. It felt so terrible. So wrong and so deceitful.
(Valerie, smiling. Night City. In bed. Her hair, all messy, leaning on her elbow, looking over. “Love you, leelou bean….”)
Judy held the girl firmer, bringing her closer. She was crying harder now.
“Lyss. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I have to make a phone call. I’m so high.”
“Shhh. I’m so into you. Mmph, know you felt it too. I saw it in your eyes.”
This time, Jude let the girl unbutton her jeans. She felt a hand press against her panties. Then two fingers, moving down. Closer, closer. The satin, soaked…. A dark stain. The color of Judy Alvarez’s dishonesty. Her knees buckled. She whimpered loudly.
“God, you’re so wet,” Lyssa moaned into her ear. “I can smell you from here.” Her fingers were only an inch away now....
Judy was still crying and moaning. She was so fucked up. Why couldn’t she stop this strange, sexy girl? What did she want to happen? Where was V? “Come back to me, Valerie,” she mouthed, as she closed her eyes. And then, suddenly, it all came rushing back. She pulled back from the girl and took off jogging towards the main building.
(She took out her holophone. Judy knew her calabacita was gonna be calling soon.)
III.
….Reena and V were each on their third glass of wine.
They were sitting on the couch, facing one another, knees bent.
Smiling, blushing.
It was getting late.
Valerie was so nervous.
This is what she’d been fantasizing about for two weeks.
Reena was right there in front of her. Her elegance, on full display.
She’d changed into a gray pair of yoga pants and a tight tee. She looked amazing for a 59 year old woman. As soon as she came out of her bedroom, V could see her large nipples poking against the shirt. Reena’s ass looked wonderful. Even her feet were kinda attractive. Her long, wavy brown hair settled on her shoulders seductively and Valerie could see no outline of a bra or panties. Her full breasts hung low, inviting, like two succulent melons.
Inside, the younger woman was gripped by a strong desire and an aching urge to taste her mature, refined boss.
….But
Something was preventing her from taking that final step.
Something somewhere was telling her this was infatuation, and nothing more.
Judy’s face drifted into her line of vision.
Her leelou bean. Her….
Soulmate
....But Reena was ready.
It was obvious she was waiting for V to make the first move.
Her earthy musk was stronger now.
It was coming from deep within her. It wove its way around the room like an invisible mist, heightening the mood.
She scooted a little closer.
“What’s wrong, Valerie?” She asked.
“I’m scared, Ree. I want to. I want it so bad. But I’m freaking out.”
“Why? Your marriage?”
“Yeah, basically.”
Reena opened her arms and waved her in.
V smiled, scooted closer and pressed into her voluptuous tits.
Then she leaned down and started kissing Valerie’s hair.
Smelling her, inhaling scents of the past.
She was in her twenties again. Holding her lover, Jessica.
Then she put her finger under V’s chin and tilted her head upwards.
She leaned in and lightly kissed Valerie's neck....
(....And then V saw her life flash before her)
Night City, the mercenary lifestyle, Jackie Welles, Konpeki Plaza, Soulkiller, SIlverhand, Hanako Arasaka, Misty. NC. The city, dangerous, sexy, alluring, deadly. The Relic. Mikoshi. Panam and the Aldecaldos. The Badlands….
(Beautiful, beautiful, sweet Judy….)
The abandoned lake-house.
Driving out to Laguna Bend that first night.
Oh, how her heart was pounding
Scuba diving, synching our minds.
Catching me looking at her ass
Evelyn Parker had just committed suicide
Judy was a mess.
Sunrise, Jude sitting on the dock....
“Wanted this to just be our night….”
“I think this is the start of something amazing.”
“Here, give me your hand. There. Now my place is your place.”
(V felt the tears sliding down her face, burning. Scalding.
My leelou bean’s hurting!
Oh god.
What have I done?
Is it too late?
Oh, god….)
Suddenly, Valerie stood up.
“Reena. I just. I need, I, I need to talk to my wife. I’m sorry.”
(Please, please God or whoever, whatever divine, spiritual, being has any influence on our lives. Please don't let me be too late....)
“V. Where are you going?”
She gathered up her things and went out the front door.
“Hang on,” she said. It was something she had to do right now!
She took out her phone, and dialed her wife’s number….
(And then….)
“Valerie!”
They were both in tears….
“Leelou Bean! Am I too late? Get your things packed! I’m coming to get you!”
Judy closed her eyes so tightly. God, it felt so good!
“Never too late. Hurry, baby. Sending the address.”
“I’m gone….”
V never even said goodbye to Reena. It was a 90 minute drive to Judy’s training retreat. And the former mercenary did 100 mph and she flew and flew.
The tears were flowing. Everything was hitting her all at once.
My leelou bean!
I hurt her! She needs me!
Around 1:00 am, Valerie pulled up to the building.
She was panting, sobbing. Laughing.
Worried, freaking out.
Judy was nowhere to be seen!
She got out of the car and ran wildly.
V had no idea where she was going.
She just ran blindly.
Screaming her wife’s name.
“JUDY! BABY! JUDE! I’M HERE!”
….Suddenly, out of nowhere, someone tackled her and they fell to the ground.
“CALABACITA! Oh, god! Baby!”
“LEELOU BEAN!”
(They rolled over and over kissing, laughing, crying, snuggling, and cuddling. So full of love yes, and on that rush again!)
“You back, baby?” Judy whispered, grinning, winking, sniffling.
“Yes, I’m so so sorry, Jude. I’m not too late, am I?”
“Naw, gonk. Almost, but nah.”
They rubbed their noses together and giggled.
“Let’s go home, leelou bean.”
“M’kay.”
....Driving home, they're both overcome with so many emotions. V tells her wife everything. All about Reena. She doesn't leave anything out. Judy listens, and then tells of her own near collapse in the arms of the 23 year old Lyssa Thomas. They both fight, cry, and fight some more. But then Judy leans over and holds Valerie as tight as she can.
"I still love you, calabacita. I'm so fucking pissed off at you. But I love you and thank you for telling me the truth."
"I'm so sorry, Jude. So, 23, huh? A techie?"
"Stop. You don't know how close I came. I was heartbroken."
"You're right. I apologize."
Jude rests her head on V's shoulder as they drive home in near silence. The only sounds are the soft sniffling and whimpering. They're both so overcome, but mostly V. Soon, Judy drifts off to sleep. A subtle smile on her face.
"Jude? You awake?"
"Mmmm, ugh. I'm so tired. And now I have to get another job all over again."
"That makes two of us. I'm leaving my job too."
Judy's head tilts upward. "You are?"
"Mhmm. Baby. Can you forgive me?"
"Uh-huh. I forgive you."
"Will you hold me when we get home?"
"Don't push it. I think I'm the one that deserves to be held."
Valerie nodded. "You're right.... You're right, leelou bean...."
Notes:
Next:
....Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove....
Chapter 49: How Does It Feel?
Summary:
Happy, love, sex, touch, kiss, apologies, joy, tears....
Never gonna be apart again....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
….Saturday (The following morning)
Paradise!
Window open, drizzling. Soft breeze floating in….
Judy, on her back. V curled up on her side, nuzzling against her wife, and they’ll never let each other go again.
Valerie’s been crying almost nonstop since they got home.
She realized how close she’d come to wrecking things.
Jude’s fingers just run through her hair. Rhythmic, soothing. Calm. Over and over. A lullaby.
The rain picks up. Cool air comes in through the bedroom window.
“Baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I just fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Am I, is there, I mean do you still love me?” V kept whimpering, sniffling. Rubbing her nose against Judy’s neck. She felt her fingers through her hair….
God, but doesn’t it feel like paradise?
“Oh, you gonk. It’s okay, calabacita. Just don’t ever do it again, okay? Please? I almost had a nervous breakdown. I knew that wasn’t you. And yes, I still love you. More now. Don’t ask me why, though. I could kill you.”
“I’m sorry, leelou bean. And I promise. I promise I’ll never do it again.”
“Mmph, good. Now kiss me and make it all better. This girl’s still hurtin.”
“Awww, c’mere. God, I love you.”
(….You and I.
I almost ruined us, didn’t I baby?
I’m not perfect.
Fuck, you smell so good.
I sent Reena my resignation letter, effective immediately.
We’re gonna be in bad shape.
Neither of us are working….
I can’t worry about all that now.
I almost lost you.
All my energy is going straight towards you.)
“Let’s take a bath.”
“Okay.”
Fill the tub with warm water.
They watch one another strip.
When they peel their underwear off, they can instantly tell how aroused they are or were, but for who and where?
V’s bush is thick, but shaved in a perfect vertical strip.
The lush, black hair in a thousand sexy curls, and Judy can’t help but stare.
Her own pussy, completely trimmed, but echoes of Lyssa still linger in her scent.
She came close to letting the girl do whatever she wanted.
Neither of them have showered since yesterday morning.
Are V’s panties sticky because of Reena?
Judy’s, because of Lyssa?
Does it matter?
Gradually, the tiny bathroom fills with their combined scent.
It’s been absent from their lives and they both inhale each other.
….Valerie slides in first, slowly bending down. She spreads her legs and waves Judy in.
“Come here. Let me hold you all night long.”
Judy nods and crawls in. Slipping under the sudsy water. As soon as she does, V’s arms enfold her, drawing her close.
And she kisses her softly, lips sticking, gentle sucking sounds. Kissing, Judy’s head tilts back, giving more of herself.
“I missed you,” Valerie gasps, breathless, feeling herself getting more and more aroused. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby,” Jude whispers, eyes closed, feeling her wife’s breath against her skin.
….Squeeze you tight.
“Never let you go again. Never be so stupid, baby. We belong together. We belong together….”
Repeating herself, like it’s a mantra to ward off memories of the past two weeks.
Outside, a sliver of moon hangs low, like a closed eye, content at last.
And the universe welcomes V and Judy back….
“If you ever pull a stunt like that again, I’ll kill you,” Judy says, turning her head to kiss her on the mouth. “Make me sleep on the couch for ten days. The fuck is wrong with you? How are we supposed to make up for all that lost time? Hmmm? All the sex? All the fucking? Because you had a crush on your old boss lady? How ya gonna make it up to me, bitch?”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” Valerie says, and she means it a thousand percent….
“Oh, I know you will,” Jude says and they both giggle.
Then they start tickling each other, laughing, splashing water, thrashing….
Love….
So fragile, so strong. So perfect, yet imperfect.
So,
True….
True,
So….
Drain the water. Turn the shower on. Bodies collide, inexorably drawn closer.
“I missed you,” Judy whispers.
“Missed you, too.”
Valerie closes her eyes and lays her head against Judy’s chest.
The water runs off her face and down her body.
She can feel her wife’s hands on her back, moving in circles.
“What are we gonna do if we’re both unemployed?” Judy was a little worried.
“We’ll be okay. I’m gonna call in another favor to Reed. Maybe he’ll come through for us."
“And if not?”
“If not? Well, then we have to fly back to the states and try to get something, anything. I don’t know, baby.”
….Sunday morning
Valerie checks her work stuff. 20 missed emails from Reena. She doesn’t open a single one. Checks her holophone. 17 texts from her former boss. That’s alright. There’ll be time enough for all that shit later. Right now, Judy gets her undivided attention. V did damage to their marriage. She knows that.
Breakfast in bed. French toast. Fresh squeezed orange juice. Homemade whipped cream. Just the right amount of cinnamon!
Valerie waits on her wife, hand and foot. She wants to make things right.
Foot massages, back rubs. Painting her nails (hands & toes!)
They spend the day falling in love….
It’s early evening. And they’re lying in bed. Valerie’s head, resting on Jude’s stomach.
“Well, today was a pretty good start,” Judy winks, pulling V up and kissing her softly on the lips. “But now the real work begins.” She smiles, mischievously, and starts pulling down her sweatpants. She bends her knees and yanks them over her feet….
V instantly catches the most nova whiff of Jude’s arousal. She looks between her legs to see her pussy, glistening and shining with slickness.
She’s ready....
“Ummm, is that for me?” V asks, flirtatiously.
“Yes, and you don’t come up for air until I come all over that sexy face. Understand me?”
“Uh-huh. God, you smell so fuckin’ good.”
Suddenly, Judy grabs the back of V’s head and brings her flush against her pussy.
“No more talking. Lick, and don’t stop. Now….”
Valerie’s tongue gently pushes past the folds of Judy’s heat, parting her swollen pussy lips and focusing on her aching clit. Sucking, tasting, and licking it deeply. She doesn’t stop once. Jude’s back arches. Her head tilts and she moans loudly. It’s overwhelming and in the midst of her euphoria, a few tears fall from the corners of her eyes. V’s tongue flattens, presses, and curls against her clit, working it masterfully. Licking from bottom to top. Tasting her completely….
“That’s it. Fuck, oh my god. Fuck yeah. Don’t stop. Fuck! I’m coming, I’m coming. Ahhh, shit!”
V licks deeper, deeper. Tasting every last drop….
Collapsing afterward. But she’s barely got time to catch her breath before Judy gasps, panting….
“Again! We’re not even close to being done. Get to work.”
….And so on and on, for the rest of the night and into Monday morning. What difference does it make? No one’s gotta be anywhere anyway!
Notes:
Next: The end for real....
Chapter 50: Love So Close, We Can Reach Out & Taste It!
Summary:
V & Judy are stoked for the next chapter of their lives to begin. Tying up all their loose ends. Moving forward, in love. Always....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. (One Month Later)
….Is the dream everything we thought it’d be? (It’s beautiful!)
Are we free? (Yes!)
Is it good, maybe bad? (No, it’s the best thing we’ve ever had)
Is the dream so good? (Oh yeah. Oh yeah.)
We can see.
It’s all this love.
We’re so high.
So high.
And we’re free.
And it’s so good.
It’s all at once.
Everywhere!
We’re always falling in love.
Is the dream so nova?
We found our groove.
It’s this vibe.
All around us.
Promise to never leave each other’s side.
It’s just all this emotion. Always….
Feels so good. The best we’ve ever felt.
So preem.
Love you, baby. Stay right by my side.
And the dream’s going so well!
(....V and Judy were about to embark on an exciting new chapter in their lives)
II.
In one week’s time, they’ll be leaving Spain and flying home to the NUSA. This time, to the Northeast part of the country. Maine to be exact. They were scared, but also exhilarated. It was the feeling of all these unknowns, converging, just beyond the horizon, ready to be experienced. Touched, and felt. Life was opening itself up to them and they couldn’t wait to see what would happen next. New vistas appeared on the horizon! They had each other, so they knew it would all work out in the end. They were in this thing together. Nervous energy constantly flowed through them and it felt so good!
From the moment Valerie came to pick Judy up at her weekend training retreat, four weeks before, there were no two people on the face of the earth more in love than these two! Their marriage had been tested. Pushed to the limit. V went through a period where she was infatuated with her boss, the 59 year old, Reena Winters. She shut Judy out of her life and it almost destroyed them. But in the end, she realized the error of her ways. She came to her senses just as she was about to ruin everything. Jude forgave her and admitted her own near infidelity with a 23 year old techie, Lyssa Thomas. But that was all ancient history now. There was plenty of arguing, fighting, and love, and then some more love. Going forward, they promised each other to always communicate and always be transparent. It was a poignant moment in their marriage. And they heeded their own advice and never let anything come between them again.
One step at a time.
One kiss at a time….
....At this moment though, it wasn’t Solomon Reed who rescued them.
It was Reena Winters, V’s former boss….
Through her various contacts, she found Valerie (and Judy!) positions within the same office. And this time, they actually got the opportunity to utilize some of their skills. Tracking down and monitoring shipments of stolen, contraband weapons, focusing on some of the bigger corpos. A little bit of code breaking and surveillance. Obviously, that meant moving back to the NUSA. But they didn’t care! As long as they were together, it could’ve been on the moon.
V’s best reference ended up being the woman she so suddenly turned her back on, mere weeks before. Reena not only spoke glowingly on her behalf, she also wrote Valerie the kindest, most thoughtful, and thorough letters of recommendation she’d ever been given. It was Judy who encouraged her wife to reach out to the older woman. To get together one last time. To say goodbye and part as friends. Without harboring bitterness or resentment and bearing no grudges. That turned out to be one of the best decisions because Reena wasn’t bitter at all. She was sad and devastated, but in the end, she respected V. She realized how much the younger woman really did love her wife. And just like Sarah, Reena wanted Valerie in her life and if that meant as friends and nothing more, then so be it.
“Do you want to go with me, baby?” V asked, as she stood in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready to visit with Ree and Sar. After all, she and Jude were leaving in one week, and they still had a ton of other shit to take care of!
Jude smiled, but shook her head no. “Thank you for thinkin’ of me, calabacita, but no. No, you go. I would only make it more weird, for everyone involved. Have fun.”
V turned and nuzzled against her wife. She moaned in happiness. And they shared a single, perfect kiss. “Mmph, Jude. Come with me. I’m gonna miss you. I hate to be away from you."
“No, baby. Go. Say goodbye. I trust you completely. Reena really helped us out. Please tell her I said thank you. And tell Sarah I said hi. I want her to know there's no hard feelings. I'm so stoked we'll be working in the same office."
“Me too. Okay, then. I’ll go. I won’t be long. And thank you for trusting me. I love you, leelou bean,” she cooed.
“Awww, love you. So sexy, calabacita.”
III.
(....Knock, knock, knock, knock)
Reena answered the door and the two women stared at each other for a long, long time.
"V. Hello. Can I have a hug?”
“Of course you can and thank you so very much for everything, Ree. Judy said thanks, too. We mean it.”
“You’re both very welcome,” Reena whispered, smiling sadly.
They embraced on the front porch. It was a very emotional moment. Reena closed her eyes and breathed Valerie in deeply.
Oh, the possibilities!
A million different scenarios played in her head.
But.... It simply wasn’t meant to be and the sooner she accepted it, the quicker she could begin the process of moving on from the 34 year old former mercenary.
She thought Valerie absolutely the sexiest, most alluring woman she’d ever laid eyes on. But she was married and loved her wife completely. It was an unflinching, unwavering bond. And Reena Winters respected that loyalty and devotion....
“Wanna cup of tea? Coffee?”
V held the older woman. They would always remain close. Even years later, long after she and Jude were safely back in the NUS, the two of them would never lose touch. Making sure to talk at least a few times a year. Judy also got to know Reena and the three of them remained friends for many, many years.
“I’ll have tea. I can’t stay too long. Jude’s waiting for me and we still have so many other things to take care of before we delta. But I wanted to see you, face to face, before we left.” V pulled back and whispered, “Reena, why? Why help us? I thought you’d hate me forever.”
The other woman scoffed and waved her away. “Valerie, please. Give me a little more credit than that. I would never begrudge anyone for staying true to the love of their life. In a weird way, I respected you more for wanting to make things right with your wife. I know you’re probably thinking, what the hell, but I was married for twenty years. I know what it’s like to be so completely in love. I just hope we can stay friends.”
The younger woman smiled. “Of course we can. I’d love for you to meet Jude, even if it’s over the holophone.”
“I’d like that. Come on in. I know you don’t have much time. I just wanted to explain some things about the job and what it entails."
….Reena went over all the relevant information. Who to contact once they arrived in Maine. Where to go. Paperwork and due dates. She even prepared a portfolio for V and Judy to bring with them to the face to face interview. She put in so much work. And it wasn’t like she was benefiting at all. She had nothing to gain by helping Valerie and Judy, but it was obviously very important to her and it showed in the amount of effort she put into it. An hour and a half later, V gathered up all the materials and got ready to delta.
“Thank you again, for everything, Reena.”
“Of course. And let me know if you have any questions at all.”
“I will. Walk me out?”
“Sure. Come on.”
….As V pulled away, Reena waved once more, smiled, and walked back inside her apartment. She went to the kitchen, and had herself a good, long cry. Getting as much of Valerie out of her system as she could. Thinking of how magical it would have been to make love to her. Just once. To feel V’s sublime body atop hers. Sweating, moving as one. Her mouth and tongue tasting her all night long. Coming, while they stared into each other’s eyes….
“Maybe in another life, baby,” she said quietly. Her voice choked with tears….
IV.
….Next, V stopped at Sarah’s. The two of them shared an interesting, somewhat rare kind of relationship.
They were friends first, then for a very brief time, impassioned lovers, and finally, they were friends again. Sarah adored Valerie. She always had. Their relationship had gone through a ton of peaks and valleys in the years V spent in Spain.
“Good luck. I mean it. To both of you,” Sarah smiled. “I’m gonna miss you, girl,” she winked.
“Thanks for being such a good friend, Sar. Especially when I had no one else to confide in or share my feelings with.” Then V smirked and whispered, “Oh, yeah, I forgot. Thanks for breaking into my apartment and trashing everything. Taking pictures of my dirty underwear." She laughed, but the other woman turned bright red and instantly looked away. Still extremely embarrassed over what’d happened years before….
“I apologized a thousand times for that. I was going through a lot of shit at the time. I was falling in love with you.”
V drew her in and hugged her warmly.
“I know. I’m only teasing. You mean a lot to me. I value our relationship. You pulled me through a lot of bad times in my life. I’ll never forget that."
Sarah sniffled. “Stop. Gonna make me cry. Love you, V.”
“Love you, too. I’ll text you once we’re all settled. Take care of yourself, okay?”
“Mhmm. Safe travels. Goodbye.”
“Bye, Sar….”
They hugged tightly and kissed each other on the cheeks. Then Valerie waved goodbye. She jumped into her car, and sped back home. After all, she didn’t wanna keep her leelou bean waiting. She took out her holo and touched the screen….
“Hey, V! How’d it go?”
“Good. Really, really preem. Reena said to tell you, “you’re welcome” and Sarah said, "good luck with everything. They both asked about you. It was nice. I'm glad I got a chance to say goodbye to them in person."
Judy smiled. She bore no enmity or ill will. As a matter of fact, she felt a little sorry for both women. She understood (better than anyone) what an incredible, amazing, magnificent, beautiful woman her wife was. She also knew how painful it was to lose Valerie. It was like a tear in your soul.
“I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” Judy said quietly, almost to herself.
“What’d you say?” V smiled.
“Just that I’m the luckiest girl in the world. To have you for my wife. To share my life with you. Hurry home, and I’ll show you exactly what I mean.”
“Oooh, can we get a little kinky?” V asked in her sexy, sultry voice. “You know, it’s been a while since we–”
“You readin’ my mind again, calabacita? We’re on the same page….”
V.
(....Over ten years we spent apart. We lived our lives as best we could. But it always felt like something was missing.)
One of us even got married. There were times when it almost felt like it wasn’t meant to be.
But it was.
It always was….
We reunited in Night City. The place where it all started.
Summer, 2077. We were so happy!
There were good times and bad. And then we fell in love again. There were a lot of bumps in the road. Through it all, we never gave up on each other. It’s hard. Living in a world fueled by war, callous technology, corporate greed and the absence of human touch.
But we did it!
We beat them all!
(We believed in our love. We leaned on it, let it carry us through the fire and we came out on the other side. So alive!)
Changed?
Sure.
But in the end. The good far outweighed the bad.
The dream, unending.
Magnificent.
Glad….
Epilogue: (Sometime in the Future)
“Jude?”
“Mmmm?”
“Did I fall asleep?”
“You dozed off for a minute.”
“Baby, I love it when you hold me like this. I feel so safe wrapped up in your arms.”
“Mmph. Well, you’re so warm. I want some of that preem heat.”
“Hehe. What time is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Leelou bean?”
“Yeah?”
“Happy Anniversary.”
“Awww. Happy Anniversary.”
“Hold on. I wanna get your gift. Be right back.”
“M’kay.”
….V returned a minute later. In her hands was a small package. Proudly, she held it out for her wife to open.
“Here. I wanna watch you open it.”
“Okay….”
….As Judy tore more and more of the wrapping paper off, she began to realize what exactly it was. Quietly, her breath hitched and let out a tiny squeak of pure delight.
“Oh my god. Baby? The photo album? Our time in Night City? Remember we forgot all the rolls of film?”
“Mhmm.” V smiled proudly, tears already welling in her eyes.
Slowly, reverently, Judy turned the pages. There were hundreds of pictures.
Pictures of the city. Buildings, important places. Streets and avenues where they fell in love. There were pictures of Judy’s old apartment and V’s old haunts. Every one of them. From Corpo Plaza all the way to Northside. But the most treasured photos were of themselves. Judy looking out over the desert. Sunrise. Valerie up on a rooftop, staring out at the skyline. Best of all were the pics of the two of them. Hand in hand or arm in arm. It was hard to properly time some of the snapshots. But V was pretty good at it. She used a little hand held remote. Set the camera up in the corner of the room and forget about it. Laughing together. The spontaneity of life. Moments forever frozen in time. Jude’s eyes closed, kissing V on the neck. Or the two of them, locked in a tender embrace. The images were immaculate.
As they looked through the album, they both began to cry. Not because they were sad, although they were, but because they were getting older. So bittersweet!
“Doesn’t it go by so fast, Valerie?"
“Uh-huh. It’s scary.”
When Judy turned the last page, she put the book down on the bed, grabbed V and pulled her close.
“Even after all these years, I’m still falling in love with you.”
“Mhmm, me too. Same…. Jude, I might doze off, 'kay? 'M so tired."
….And Judy whispered, "Okay, calabacita. I’ve never seen you as beautiful as when you’re asleep in my arms, dreaming."
END?
Notes:
Next?
*Shrugs shoulders*
Chapter 51: Burning Up Now. I Still Love You....
Summary:
Ahem.... Smut (a little dirty & kinky this time, hehe) Plain and simple. Here's how it is. V & Jude have just finished their first week in Maine. New life, new city. Work sucks (of course!) but it's Friday. They each put in fifty hours at the office and they're completely exhausted. But they're really horny, right? So after work, they go out to eat at a nearby restaurant, flirt and talk dirty at the table. They rush home and.... yeah, ya know?
Ummm. For some reason, more than anything else I've written, I don't wanna end this particular story. I can't let it go. I've tried. I really have. I hope you're all still here, because, well, I love that you read my stories. It means the world to me. Maybe you even like them. I try not to get too caught up in numbers. That's not why I write. I write because I love V & Judy. My two all time favorite characters. I love to put them in situations where their love gets tested but always survives. Because it's real and it's true and it's so rare in a dystopian Cyberpunk world. Okay, I'll stop talking, errr, writing.... Bye, chooms.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. ….Work Life Blues
Being back in the NUSA turned out to be a lot more difficult than either of them could have possibly imagined. Moving from one end of the world to the other, and reacclimating to everyday life in the states was a shock to their systems. From the jump, they felt overwhelmed and stressed out. Practically overnight, they had to adjust to inflation and outrageously high prices of food, rent, medicine, utilities, fuel, and clothes. Plus, this time, there was no outside help. No company apartment or car. Valerie and Judy had to start from scratch.
And they were both turning 35!
Reena’s contacts helped a little but this wasn’t the cushy FIA and the differences were apparent right from the get go. The hours were long and hard. It wasn’t the type of work where you could just sit at your desk all day drawing pictures and looking at your holophone. They had to be attentive. For the first week, they both worked between 50-60 hours. The pay was nominal. Not exactly terrible, but not good either.
And so it went without saying, the weekends were going to be extremely precious….
Friday (The end of their first week in Maine)
V was sitting down, getting ready to clock out when her holo pinged. She looked at the screen and smiled.
“Hey, pumpkin! Wanna get a drink after work? I could really use one right about now. I’m so fuckin’ wiped. Whew! XOXO.”
She sighed. No matter how shitty things might seem, they had each other. They were married. Nothing could take that away from them….
“Definitely. I could go for salad or fish. Let’s try that place on the corner. It looked good. XOXO.”
“Nova. Meet me at the car.”
“Be there in five minutes.”
….Being in the same building was nice, but because they were both so busy, V and Jude hardly ran into each other, except during breaks and at lunch. Valerie punched out and made her way to the parking lot. As soon as she opened the doors, the evening air brushed past her and she took a deep breath. It was the end of summer. Still hot, but the first signs of autumn were already apparent: The scent of rain. A subtle chill. A slight dip in the temperature. A mild breeze. Just as she was about to take out her phone, Judy came around from the side and wrapped her in a snug embrace.
“Mmmm, missed you. We barely saw each other all day,” she said, nuzzling under her wife’s chin.
“I know. Fucking sucks. I’m so not adjusted to this. Are you?” V was shaking her head, running her fingers through Judy’s hair.
“No way. But listen. It’s only been one week. It’s a lot. Maybe we’ll feel better after we’ve had the weekend to decompress.”
“Mmph. Maybe you’re right. I hope you are. I just didn’t think this job would be so intense. Did you?”
“No, but at least it makes the day go by quicker, right?”
V looked over at Jude with lust in her eyes. “I guess. And speaking of the weekend, I’m gonna fuck you the second we get home and I’m not gonna stop until we crash out on Sunday night.”
“Oooh. Now you’re talking. Almost makes me wanna head straight home.” She winked. “C’mon, calabacita. I’m hungry."
“Mhmm, me too.”
….They had a really nice, light dinner and split a bottle of white wine. They talked about their week and how tired they were. They’d been running themselves ragged. Moving, packing, flying, paperwork, interviews.
“Everyone seems nice, so far,” Judy said, finishing her coffee.
“Yeah, they do. I was a little worried about that. Especially with Reena basically getting us these jobs. I just didn’t want anyone to think we didn’t deserve them, because we did. We just needed to get our feet in the door.”
“Fuck it,” Judy whispered. “C’mon. Let’s go home. I can’t wait to make love to you.”
They were both dressed nicely. Business casual. Slacks, blouses, heels. But they’d been going hard for almost ten hours and they couldn’t wait to get out of their clothes. While they waited for the bill, they started talking dirty….
“How’s your panties?” V whispered, smiling, biting her bottom lip.
Judy nodded, catching the vibe immediately. “Oh, you know how it is. So tight. They’re all sweaty, baby. Soaked, really. I mean, ten hours, sheesh. I had to adjust 'em sooo many times. I’m not used to wearing this kind of shit. It was so tight. Need someone to free me from the oppressive chains of my clothes, hah.”
“Mmmm, don’t you worry about that. You just wait until we get home.” They giggled and kissed as the waitress returned. She was really cute. It was an awkward moment as she stared at the two lovebirds….
"Ehmm. Thanks for coming in. Enjoy the rest of your evening,” the woman said with an odd grin on her face, like she knew exactly what they were talking about.
V laughed. “Oh, we will….” She looked at the receipt. “....Katie.”
When she was out of ear shot, Judy said, “Hey should we invite her back for a threeway? She seemed like she might’ve been game, huh?” She winked at her wife.
V covered her mouth, pretending to be shocked. “Why, Judy Alvarez! I'm appalled! You naughty, naughty, girl. The second we get home, you’re going right over my knee for a spanking.” But then Valerie lowered her voice, and whispered, “She did kinda seem like she might be up for it.”
They shook their heads, left a generous tip and sped home to their new apartment at 100 mph….
II.
Fifteen minutes later, they stumbled through the front door like a couple of drunks. There’s boxes piled high everywhere. They haven’t even had time to unpack. Books, clothes, utensils, albums, etc. Jude kicked the door shut with her boot and they fell to the floor, going at one another with pure lust. Kissing, hypnotic, as V parted her wife’s lips and pushed her tongue deep into her mouth. Jude whimpered softly, trying to keep pace, but letting herself enjoy the softness of her wife’s touch. They wanted to be messy and sloppy. After making out for a few minutes, there’s spit running down from their chins. Gradually, the apartment smells of breath and hot skin. They love it. It drives them on. They moan loudly. Getting ready to fuck as hard as they possibly can.
On the floor, grinding. Valerie’s hard nipples poke against her blouse, bold and proud. Judy bites them over the fabric, sucking and leaving dark, circular stains. “Perfect fuckin’ tits, calabacita,” she gasps, gently pulling down V’s stockings. After she yanks them off, she starts licking her feet and sucking on her toes. “Mmmm, they're so hot, baby. Love your feet, god.”
“Mmph, smell ‘em,” V whispers, ticklish, giggling. “Go ahead, hehehehe, ahaahaaha!"
On the floor, they’re already starting to sweat. Judy stands up, peels off her tight outfit, and motions for V to lie on her back. “I’m gonna ride that pretty mouth. Panties on or off?” She asks, yanking them forcefully up and over her bellybutton. The outline of her plump, sublime, bare pussy lips, captivates Valerie as her eyes narrow and she whimpers.
“Holy fuck, Jude. That’s so goddamn fuckin’ sexy. Fuck. Leave ‘em on. Keep 'em pulled up like that. C’mere. Hurry. I’m so fuckin’ wet. Jesus Christ. C’mere! Now!”
Jude bends her knees and straddles V’s face. Slowly, she lowers herself but the other woman can’t wait. She grabs her by the hips and pulls her down. Her tongue, instantly licking from the bottom to the top, moaning into her pussy, sending tiny vibrations of sound and Judy shudders, rocking back and forth. She reaches down and yanks her underwear to the side, scooting up so that her tight, twitching asshole is flush against V’s nose.
“Get your nose in there, fuck yes. Oh shit, get your nose right fuckin’ in there,” she pants, breathing heavily, her body swaying like a pendulum. "Ugh, make me work all day. So hot and fuckin’ bothered,” Judy pants, bitchy, clenching her teeth as V inhales her so deeply. It’s a raw, musky, earthy scent that drives her absolutely insane and her hand shoots between her own legs. She parts her soaking wet lips, finds her aching clit and rubs it harshly, never taking her nose away from Judy’s pussy and ass, breathing her in over and over, lost in her fabulous, organic pheromones, fucking herself. Soon, she’s completely overwhelmed….
“Fuck, fuck. I’m gonna come. You smell so fucking nova, Alvarez!" Valerie’s voice is raspy, sultry. Inhaling deep, sliding two fingers into herself, curling them over and over, before she tenses and bursts. “Ahhh, shit! Fuck! Mmph!” Her tongue flicks in and out, confused, she’s trying to lick and smell Judy everywhere at once as her own orgasm quickly envelops her, hijacking her senses and sending her skyrocketing.
When she hears V coming, Jude grabs a handful of her hair, firmly and swivels her hips. She smears her pussy and ass in reckless circles over V’s mouth. Up and down, side to side as she loses herself in her own powerful orgasm. Her body, shaking and vibrating as they time it perfectly. They roll around, fucking, turning their hips, and going at each other from opposite ends. Frenetic, fast. Licking, tasting. They never even left the floor!
….Later on, they end up in the bathroom. They shut the door and let the condensation cloud over everything. Heat, humidity, bodies, skin, and sweat.
Turn the hot water all the way up and Jude writes on the mirror…. “V+J!” (with a little heart underneath it.)
And then they made love until they couldn’t see straight. V put the lid down on the toilet seat and sat with her bare ass against the sticky porcelain, waving her lover in. Judy sat atop her, opened her legs and brushed her clit against V’s thigh over and over, until she cried out softly, opening her eyes and staring at the former mercenary. The strong, sharp tang of sex filled the tiny spaces all around them.
“I need you. I’m burning up,” Jude panted, not quite finished with her orgasm, holding Valerie’s face in her hands. Smiling, leaning in for a kiss. Moaning, their breath mixing. Drops of sweat running down her forehead….
V’s voice, divine, sexier than a goddess, whispering, “Awww, you’re all sweaty, leelou bean. Could it be, I tired you out for once?” She grins and with her tongue, licks the salty drops from Judy’s face. She tastes so good. Spicy, delicious, like the most sumptuous dish she’s ever had.
Judy closes her eyes, shakes her head, breathing ragged through her mouth. Her cheeks, fiery, fiery red. “God, I fuckin’ love you. You make me come so hard. You win, okay?” She leans forward, and starts sucking on V’s tits, tugging at her taut nipples. Moving, biting, fucking, and thrusting. “I wanna come one more time, m’kay? Then I have to rest,” she murmurs, in a voice torn to shreds from constant moaning….
Valerie’s touch is so tender, so full of emotion. She holds the back of Judy’s head, draws her in, and nudges her to keep sucking, as she sways towards another orgasm.
“I’m right here. Always. When you finish, sleep, lover. Sleep. I'll never let you go," she says….
Notes:
Next: *Still shrugs shoulders*
Chapter 52: Judy's Idea
Summary:
Like the title says, Jude comes up with a wild, crazy idea. Could it work? Could two women in their mid thirties really go back to where it all began? It could never work....
Could it?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Monday Morning (Yikes!)
The weekend went by too fast! When their alarms went off, they both let out long, sustained sighs of annoyance.
“Argh, no,” Judy groaned, rolling over and squeezing Valerie tight. She started kissing her warm skin and rubbing against her body.
“What do you think you’re doing?” V croaked, the frog stuck firmly in her throat. She yawned, reached behind her and gripped her wife’s ass.
“Stealing some of your heat. That okay?” She ran her hands through V’s damp hair. “Morning, pumpkin.”
“Mmph, morning. And yeah, it’s okay, I suppose. But what do I get?” V grabbed Jude’s other hand and moved it below her waist. “One good turn deserves another, yeah?”
Judy ran her two fingers up and down the center of V’s curly bush, slowly opening her up. Softly, she spread her lips and pinched her clit. Valerie cried out. She was already wet. Her essence was always a little thicker first thing in the morning. More natural….
“Let’s call in sick,” Judy whispered.
“Don’t tempt me,” V answered, moving Judy’s hand like it was her own. Up, down, rhythmically. “Fuck. You gonna make me come and I’m not even awake yet?”
“You’re doing all the work.”
Just as V rolled over and they went hungrily at each other, the snooze went off….
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
"Ugh! SHUT UP!” Valerie howled, losing focus, shaking her head. The arousal was dissipating, slowly being replaced with Monday morning anxieties and worries. “NO!"
Judy shook her head. She lost it too. The moment slipped away and they laid on their backs staring at the ceiling. When the snooze went off again, she swore and asked, “You want breakfast or a shower first?” She was in a pissy and bitchy mood. They both were.
“Breakfast. I’m hungry. What do you want to eat?”
“Waffles. Butter, syrup. We still have all that, right?”
“Mhmm. How many?”
"Dos. Are you gonna eat, V?”
“Yup. Sounds good.”
“Preem. See you soon.”
“Okay.”
They crawled out of bed and went to their respective stations. The apartment was small but the one cool thing about it was, it had one and a half bathrooms. Jude went to the master and V stopped off in the smaller one, then she jogged to the kitchen, made them breakfast, ate hers, and kept Judy’s warm in the oven.
Ten minutes later, they switched. V to the shower, Jude to the kitchen.
So far, it proved to be a decent system. They hadn’t been late to work once yet. Though no one mentioned it was only the sixth day overall.
10:00 am
….Judy had her first confrontation with a co-worker. It wasn’t a superior, though she (and Valerie) were well aware they were the low girls on the totem pole, and as a result, everyone felt like their boss. She'd forgotten to submit a preliminary report on one of the potential surveillance points. It wasn’t a big deal as it was still early on in the process. It was a minor inconvenience, but it was Monday morning, so the whole office was short on patience and long on annoyance….
The woman who confronted her, Taryn Blount, was the third most junior employee after V and Jude, having been employed for only about six months. She was basically fresh out of college. This was her first, “real,” job. They knew almost nothing else about her. She was tall, attractive, wore glasses and had a sharp sense of style. Her outfits consisted entirely of mini-skirts, colorful, floral print blouses, and the preemest heels. She had long, straight, strawberry blonde hair and wore a lot of makeup, especially eye shadow and blush. When Valerie and Judy were introduced to everyone their first day, Taryn was friendly, but in an aloof, mechanical kind of way. Like she was an AI construct unused to human interaction. She kept her distance, never saying anything beyond hello or goodbye, which made it all the more baffling that she confronted Judy so directly over something as trivial as a standard, run of the mill report.
Jude was headed back to her desk when she heard her name being called.
"Pardon me, Judy?”
She spun around and stared at the younger woman curiously.
“Uhhh, yeah?”
“This surveillance locale was submitted without any preliminary reports. No geological data, weather patterns, traffic, nothing.”
Taryn had a hand on her hip, tapping her foot, waiting impatiently for an answer.
“May I see, please? Thanks.”
Judy did a cursory read through of the packet and nodded. “Oops,” she smiled. “I must’ve forgotten to print it off my computer. What can I say? Mondays, right?”
She tried to lighten the atmosphere, but Taryn simply stared at her with a deadpan expression, and then shocked her by saying, “Please try to be more attentive in the future. This whole packet has to be redone. It would’ve taken you a few seconds to double check things before submitting it.”
Judy’s mouth fell open. Her face burned red hot with embarrassment and she flushed strongly. “Excuse me?” She said, staring back at the young girl with a nasty expression.
“I said, please try and be more attentive in the future. It will save us unnecessary headaches going forward.” She turned to leave but now Judy wasn’t finished.
“Uhhh, I’m sorry about the report, but correct me if I’m wrong. You're not my supervisor. Please don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. You don’t know me at all. Maybe you should learn to be a little bit more polite in the future.”
The two of them stood in the center of the room, fuming, eyeing one another down. They were just about ready to start arguing when, from the other end of the hall, Valerie happened to notice something was wrong with her wife. Quickly, she attempted to defuse the situation….
She jogged over with a huge smile and said, “Jude? Can I borrow you for a second? Please?” She nodded quickly and mouthed, “C’mere.”
Judy stood firm, glaring at the younger woman. Finally, V grabbed her by the arm and said, “Excuse us,” and she brought her to the breakroom. When they were alone, she asked, “What the hell just happened?”
“What the hell just happened was that fuckin’ bitch gave me a bunch of attitude because I forgot to attach a surveillance readout before I submitted the proposal. Big fucking deal! God! It wasn’t even finalized. Fuck her! Talk to me like that! She’s not my fucking boss.” She turned to her wife. “V, I’m not cut out for this shit. I belong in a basement, tuning virtus or something like that. I'm a techie, not a fuckin' businesswoman.
Valerie was patient, loving, and understanding. “Come on, baby. She’s weird. Just forget it. It’s Monday. No biggie. C’mon. We like, really cannot afford to lose these jobs. Ignore her. Please? For little old me?” She batted her eyelashes flirtatiously.
Her wife softened. “Okay, okay. But she better not fuck with me again, or I’m gonna knock her the fuck out.”
V hugged her warmly. “Oh shush, you are not. Now gimme a kiss, and behave yourself, please?”
“M’wah. How much longer until lunch?”
“An hour and a half. Meet me at my desk, techie?”
“Preem. V, I love you. Thanks.”
“Welcome, love you. See you soon. I gotta finish some stuff. Bye!”
V left and Jude walked slowly back to her desk. On her way, she saw Taryn out of the corner of her eye but completely ignored her. The rest of the morning passed by without incident....
Lunchtime:
They’d been packing their lunches. It saved them a lot of eddies. It really did. Today it was leftover pizza. Could’ve been worse. They sat together at Valerie’s desk. It was only fucking Monday. They still had four and a half more days to go. It was their sixth full day in Maine. They were tired and cranky, but more than that, they were sad. Was this what it was gonna be like for the rest of their lives?
40+ hour work weeks, never any time to feel or experience the love between them? The ratios were so backwards! Two days off, five days on? What kind of life was that? Growing older and letting millions of moments get away because they were required to fulfill a function and perform a duty, like two trained pets? And it was like they realized it at the exact same moment. Sitting there in silence, eating cold pizza, waiting for their half hour to finish.
“Calabacita?” Judy asked, holding her wife’s hand.
“Yeah.”
“What are we doing, baby? It’s only been six days and I feel like I wanna jump off a fuckin’ cliff.”
V looked away and shook her head. “Same,” she croaked in an already tired voice. “What can we do, Jude? We gotta eat. Gotta have money for rent. I can’t just pick up a couple of gigs and make 40,000 eddies. Those days are long gone.”
Judy smiled. “What if we went back to Night City?” V’s mouth opened in shock, but Jude put a finger in the air. “Hold on. Just hear me out.”
“Okay. Go ahead.” V finished her first slice and took a bite out of her second.
“We can go to Lizzie’s. See if they need us. Beg! Hah! You could do security or something. I don’t know, event planning. Whatever. We could both work there, baby. I could ask for my old job back. I could be BD tech again. I'll even talk to Susie Q. They know I’m the best They….”
Valerie smiled sadly and held her wife’s hand.
“Oh, Jude. Wouldn’t it be so nova? To go back? But, leelou bean, we’re so much older now. So different. That’s a whole other world, isn’t it? Crazy, chaotic, volatile, and unpredictable. It’s for young people. Not two married women closer to forty than they are thirty.”
“C’mon, V. We’re not that old. Thirty five? Nah. Rita’s still going strong. Some of the other Mox girls too.”
V looked serious as she ran a hand through Jude’s hair. “You really wanna move all the way to the West Coast? We just came from Spain. We’re not even settled here yet. Plus, NC’s so much worse now than when we lived there. I’ve read a lot about it. If you’re not part of the 0.001 percent, you’re fucked. You’re assuming we’re just gonna be able to stroll right back and get hired on the spot. What if they don’t need us. What if they can’t hire us, or only one of us?”
“Well we would make sure we knew all that before we made any big decisions, obviously.” Judy sighed. Lunch was almost over. “Calabacita. Just think about it. This is it. This is our life. We’re married. Is this how you want it to be? I don’t. I still wanna experience so much with you. Night City was where we shined. This right here? This is just sad, Valerie. Sad…. You know it just as well as I do."
And then the former mercenary smiled. She leaned over and kissed her wife on the cheek (Hadda be careful! They were still at work!) and whispered, “Tell you what. You do all the heavy lifting. All the holo calls, all the legwork. If you set everything up, I’m down.”
“WHAT?” Judy shot up out of her seat and clapped. “Seriously?”
“Mhmm. Fuck it. I swore I’d never go back to NC but with you by my side? I feel like I could live forever. I love you. Do it. See what happens! Who knows? Maybe you’re right.”
“V! God! C’mere!”
….And just as lunch was ending, Judy spun her wife around in a cold, sterile, break room of a surreal 21st century depressed, alienated NUSA society. Just two lovers trying to make it in an unloving, callous, and shallow world. They danced and laughed and kissed on the lips. They were crazy. It would never work. Move again? Already? Back to Night City? One of the most dangerous places in the country? Work at Lizzie’s? Huh? Like they were 23 again?
Naw. Nah.
No way….
Nooooooo.
But?
Notes:
Next: *I know I said they'd never return to Night City, but who knows?*
Why not take a risk, take a chance? The world's running down anyway, isn't it?
Chapter 53: Get You To Do What I Want!
Summary:
After one week, Judy hates her job. She's not cut out for office work. V's trying to make the most of an overwhelming situation, but she's not happy either. Judy pings Susie and the two women have a long convo about Lizzie's, work, and returning to Night City. It would be absolutely nuts, as they literally just moved from Spain. Judy begs, but is it realistic to think you can just move halfway across the country because you don't like your job?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Monday Night, 7:30 pm.
I. (A Phone Call)
“....Sorry, Judy. We’re barely making ends meet. It’s a different crowd over here in City Center. The ultra rich? They wanna stick to their underground sex clubs and fetish parlors. It’s gonna take a long time to build our customer base back up. Between the rent and the bribes, we can barely afford to pay the staff now. Hire you and V? No way. Sorry, we just don’t have the funds to do that right now."
“Susie. I know you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but there’s gotta be something. Who do you have tunin’ virtus?” Judy was already desperate. The thought of working one more day in that fucked up office was depressing her tremendously.
“No one. And Jude. This isn’t personal. Believe me, if I thought we could put you and V on, I would hire you both in a second. You sound really unhappy. Is it that bad? Maine, right?”
“Suze, it fucking sucks. It hasn’t even been two weeks and I’m already fantasizing about getting sick and calling out for fuckin’ ever.”
“Oh, shit. And V’s the same way?”
“She hates it too. She’s just tryin’ to go with the flow, but I know she fucking hates it just as much as I do.”
And then Susie Q paused and looked away, like her mind had just come up with an idea but she wasn’t sure she should say what it is….
“Judy….”
“What?”
“Here’s what I can offer. If you and V really, really wanna come back to NC, I can put you both on staff. You could go back to working with the Joytoys, BD, and virtus. Whatever you want. I can’t pay you, but…. There’s a lot of room in the basement. If you want, you and your wife could fix it up, stay down there, rent free, until you find something else, or business picks up and I can start paying you both a decent wage. I need someone to do PR, spread the word downtown amongst the rich and famous. I think V would be perfect in that role. At least from what I remember. That was a long time ago but I think people would still remember her. She could do the wining and dining. Talk about the club. All it would take to put us back on the map is one or two media influencers stopping by to party on a Friday night. What do you think? You could draw from petty cash for food and other necessities. That’s the best I can do. At least for right now.”
Judy licked her lips. It was risky. She knew it. They would have to uproot their entire lives on a whim, again, without any kind of guarantee that things would ever work out. They might not and it could prove to be a colossal mistake. To leave their current positions. Valerie was not gonna be enthusiastic about this prospect at all. It would be a really tough sell.
“I’m gonna need to talk to V about it, Suze. It would be a huge, huge risk. And if she’s not fully on board then it’s a no go.”
“I understand. But what do you think? On your own? You’re gonna be, what? 35, right? That’s a little old to be sleeping on a couch in the basement of some nightclub.
“I know,” Judy whispered. "Things are different now. We're married and as long as we’re together, ya know? It sounds goofy but it’s true.”
“Well. Talk to her. Let me know. The basement’s yours, if the two of you want it.”
“I’ll be in touch. Thanks.”
They said their goodbyes and Judy hung up. She walked to the couch where her beautiful wife was curled up on her side, eyes closed, nestled under a blanket, the TV on low volume. Quiet, relaxing….
....And Judy Alvarez stood there looking down on the love of her life. She smiled and shook her head. Sometimes, she still couldn’t believe they were married!
“God, you’re so fuckin’ adorable. How could I be so lucky? Hmmm?”
V stirred, opened her eyes and stretched. She looked up and ran a hand through her hair.
“Heyyyy, Jude,” she said, sexy as ever.
“Mi calabacita. I just got off the holo with Susie Q. Wake up and then let’s talk. Meet me in the kitchen. Tea?”
Valerie yawned. “Mhmm. Honey, no milk.”
“Okay.”
II.
….Judy relayed, almost word for word, her and Susie’s conversation. She didn’t try to steer V one way or another.
Just gave her wife the facts:
There’d be no pay. They’d have to sleep in the basement of a nightclub. Valerie would be in charge of PR. Out there in Night City, spreading the word about Lizzie’s. Creating promotional events for the bar. Every Friday, a different theme. A.I. wet t-shirt contests!? Arasaka bingo night?! Seeing what worked and what didn’t. Trying to capitalize on her twelve year old mercenary image.
It sounded completely preem, totally ridiculous, and scary as hell.
As Judy talked, V sat there, sipping her warm tea. She considered her life. She was on the downside of 30. The point where most people were settling down to an existence of domestic tranquility and contentment. Sure, she hated their new job just as much as her wife, but it was steady work. She knew the paycheck was always gonna be there. Every two weeks, like clockwork….
When Jude finally paused to catch her breath, she asked, “What do you think? I know it’s fucked up, baby, but doesn’t it kinda sound nova? I mean, at least when you compare it to what we have now?”
“Hmph, hehe. Hahaha!” Valerie laughed, shaking her head and reaching for her jacket that was hanging up on the chair. She found the pack of cigarettes, took two out, lit them, and passed one to Judy. “Leelou bean. That’s just entirely fucking nuts. I mean, we would have to be totally out of our fuckin’ minds to do that, right? And, here’s the real question: I thought you hated Night City. Sure, it was nova when we went back for the five year anniversary but to live there? In a fucking basement, with no money? Judy, baby. What’s going on with you? Talk to me. What’s up?”
They put their cigarettes out. Valerie waved her in and Jude sat on her lap. She started kissing her neck. Soft, deep kisses and they both moaned quietly.
“I’m unhappy here. I’m sorry.”
V kissed her back strongly. On the mouth and they started getting riled up. “Mmph, it’s only been a few days, mmph.”
….Suddenly Jude spun, opened her legs and straddled the other woman. They made out passionately, moving in rhythm, slow grinding, bodies already on fire. Recklessly, she pulled her sweatshirt up and over her head. Her tits spilled out and V dove in, licking, sucking, and tasting her so powerfully. Judy held the back of her head, bringing her closer. She could feel V’s teeth, tugging on her hardened nipples, licking messily. The scent of her honeyed breath filled her nostrils….
“God, I love you,” Judy whispered as V’s touch landed like the sublime sting of ache, of lust unrequited, never satiated, sucking teasing. Fabulous…. A moment later, she got down on her knees, yanked V’s gray sweatpants off and gave her head for 20 minutes straight, diving into her soaked pussy with such harsh urgency. Her tongue pressing against the crease, flattening and opening her swollen lips, tenderly moving her clit up and down. She licked until her jaw throbbed with ache. Then she licked more.
Valerie closed her thighs around her wife’s head and held her there. “You want this?” She gasped, breathless, her head nodding, staring down at this woman who couldn’t stop tasting her. Judy’s tongue moved faster, more frantic. “Huh? Look at you. On your knees. Head between my legs, sucking on my fuckin’ clit so hard, like it’s your job. Oh, fuck. Neughhhh. Look at you, Judy. That’s it. You want it? Work for it! Keep doing that, uhhuh, ooof, keep that mouth right there. Want me to come, hmmm? Want me to come, fuck, keep going….”
Her mouth was glazed, glistening. Faster and faster she licked. Her tongue, so deep inside her wife, coaxing the purest, most organic essences as they leaked uncontrollably from V's saturated pussy....
“Mmph, let’s move back to NC,” Judy panted, speeding up, and sliding her index finger straight up Valerie’s scintillating ass. Right away, she could feel her muscle contracting around it, hugging it, as her hips bucked and her back arched.
V’s fingers twisted around her wife’s hair holding her steady.
“Ahhh! FUCK! I’m coming, baby! Oh my fucking god, I’m coming all over your face. Shit, keep fucking my ass. Aieeee!”
Judy worked her over masterfully, prolonging Valerie’s orgasm for as long as she possibly could. Sliding her finger in and out, her tongue curling around the sensitive, pulsing nub.
“That’s it. Awww, you’re so fuckin’ sexy,” Jude whispered, still buried deep, fucking her calabacita so gently, so intimately. Slowly, as she withdrew her finger, V trembled. She looked to see the tiny pink star still twitching, trying to close around it. She stood up, but Valerie yanked her back and kissed her forcefully.
“You think one fuck is gonna get me to move halfway across the country and live in a fuckin’ basement?” She sneered, full of dirty lust.
Judy smiled. “Baby, just think about it, okay? And if you decide it’s not something you wanna do, then of course we can stay here.” She leaned in close then and said, “But…. If you wanna completely uproot our lives and make a change, I’ll fuck you like this every single second of every single day. M’wah. Think about it, baby….”
Valerie closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair, wasted. Her body, damp with the aftershocks of the most incredible sex! "Why is it so hard for me to say no to you?"
Notes:
Next: They're on the downside of their 30's. Are they really considering going back to the place they swore they'd never return to? Jude wants it more than V. How can she convince her wife to move back to NC?
Chapter 54: As Long As We're Together
Summary:
Judy's trying as hard as she can to get Valerie to agree to move back to Night City?!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(….Their 2nd week was even harder to make it through than the first!)
It was Sunday afternoon, and they were already in panic mode. All week, Judy had been eroding the foundations of V’s reservations over quitting and moving back to Night City. In truth, Valerie wanted to delta just as bad, but the one thing keeping her from pulling the trigger was Reena. She didn’t want her former boss to look bad for recommending the both of them.
….They were spooning on the couch when V whispered, “Can I ask you something?”
Judy turned and looked at her wife strangely. "Gonk. Of course. What?”
“Would you be upset if I pinged Reena? See, if we quit this soon, it might make her look like an idiot for setting us up here. I wanna make sure she’s okay with it first.”
Jude spun around with a huge grin on her face. “You mean? You mean, if she says everything’s preem, you’ll do it? You’ll move back to NC? V! Don’t fuck with me! Will you?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to definitely commit to that but it would make the decision a lot easier.”
“Call her!” Judy said, enthusiastically. “Go ahead! I’m over all that shit between the two of you." But then she stopped, as a memory of those terrible two weeks came back into her head. “Are you, V? Over her? No lingering fantasies about fucking your boss?"
The other woman chuckled. “No, baby. No. But I wanna make sure she’s okay before we do anything. Is that cool?”
“Yes. Call her. Whatever you need. I don’t know if I can make it through another week at that fuckin’ place.”
V got up and nodded. “I can’t believe I’m actually fucking considering this. I have to be outta my fucking mind.” She tickled her wife. “And so do you!”
“C’mon, baby. I’ve been doing whatever you asked me to do for the past five days. My jaw’s killing me. I’m all sore.”
“Uh-uh, I don’t wanna hear it. Don’t even think you’re getting out of it tonight. You got a whole hell of a lot of work ahead of you. Get those muscles in your mouth ready. I want you clamped tight on this pussy all night.” She rubbed herself and moaned.
“Ugh, fine. But call her, baby. See what she says.”
“Okay.”
II.
“....Valerie. Hi! How are you? So good to hear your voice.” Reena smiled, and immediately felt an ache somewhere deep inside. She studied the younger woman and instantly wanted her.
“Ummm, good. Ree. Uhhh, listen. We’re good. B-But I need, well, can I talk to you for a minute?”
Her pulse jumped. Heart beating so fast. What did V want? Could it be she changed her mind? No, no. Stop....
“Of course. What’s up?”
“Reena. Judy and I. We’re so thankful for all the help. But, but….” V fumbled, flushed and frustrated. She licked her lips and ran a hand through her hair, unsure of how to broach the subject of quitting.
“What’s wrong? Is it the job? Is there something wrong with it? Are they treating you both okay?”
“No, no. I mean, yes. Yes, we’re fine. Shit. Reena?” V smiled so beautifully that the older woman actually whimpered softly. “We hate our fucking jobs. And I know, I know. It’s only our third week, but we’re so fucking miserable. We thought we’d like it. We did. We tried. It’s just. Judy. She’s not cut out for this. And well, I’m calling because we wouldn’t think of leaving this soon if it’s gonna somehow make you look bad for recommending us. I’m so sorry.” Valerie laughed uneasily. “But. That’s why I’m calling….”
Reena laughed. She actually laughed. “Oh, V. God. Be happy. I’ll be fine. I’m retiring as soon as I turn sixty. So, another few months? I couldn’t care less if the two of you wanna leave. Oh, V. How thoughtful of you to call to ask for my blessing! Let me meet your wife. C’mon. It’s time. Go get her.”
“You mean you’re not upset with us?”
“Haha! No! Please!”
“Whew!” V wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. “Wow! Awesome! Let me get her.”
….A minute later, Judy appeared and Reena instantly realized she never really stood a chance. V’s wife was gorgeous. Straight, sexy, colorful hair. Deep, beautiful, brown eyes. Perfect makeup. Incredible smile. Magnificent perky breasts. Two rose tattoos on either side of her neck….
“Judy? Hey! I’m Reena. V’s old colleague. So nice to finally meet you!”
“Awww, you too. Wow. So we meet at last, huh?”
She couldn’t believe this woman was turning sixty! She was so elegant. So attractive. Lovely full face and figure. Buxom, with long, flowing sandy colored hair, streaked with silver. Judy understood a little better, Valerie’s infatuation with Reena. For an older woman, she was extremely good looking.
“Yes, we do. So, your wife tells me you can’t stand the job I recommended you for.”
Jude turned bright red. “Well, no, no, I, we. Well, we just….”
But Reena just laughed. “I’m teasing! Please. Do not worry about that at all. I promise you.”
….And for the next thirty minutes, the two of them talked like they were old friends. It was a seamless, fluid, perfectly normal convo. V stood off to the side, smiling. This was good. She loved that they were getting along so well!
When they finally decided to get off the holo, Reena assured them both to follow their hearts. To enjoy the time they had left together and not worry at all about leaving their jobs. They promised to talk again soon, and then they hung up….
“Well! What do you think, Mrs. Alvarez?” Judy was already on her knees, getting ready to go down on V for probably the hundredth time in the last couple of days. She hooked her thumbs under the waistband on her wife's shorts and pulled them down….
She gasped as V’s perfectly manicured pussy sat glistening, only a few short inches from her mouth. She moved closer and rubbed her nose up and down the center of her bush and sighed happily.
V was staring down at her, nodding. "Get to work. Do you really wanna go back to NC and sleep in the basement of Lizzie’s?”
Judy's tongue flicked out tentatively, tasting V’s juices. Then she licked deeper, gathering up the strong smelling come. “Fuck,” she moaned. “Baby, as long as we’re together, I love you. I want you so fuckin’ bad. Enjoy the ride….” She dove in, face first and didn’t come up for air until her jaw was numb. Sucking on Valerie as hard as she could.
“As long as we’re together,” V whispered, grabbing a fistful of her wife’s hair and riding her tongue…. Her nipples were already rock hard.
Notes:
Next: So this has become a sort of chronicle of their day to day lives. I hope you all are still here. Are you?
Chapter 55: A Gentle Interlude
Summary:
A day in the life of V & Judy. Married now, and it just hits differently....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
A Day in the Life....
“....Morning, lover. How’d you sleep?”
“Heyyyy, Jude. Morning, leelou bean. I slept great.”
….And then Valerie was silent. She stared at her wife with the most beautiful, captivating smile. Her eyes sort of glazed over and she reached out and caressed Judy’s face with the palm of her hand. She was speechless.
“What’s wrong, calabacita?”
“Oh, god. Nothing,” she whispered, her morning voice, angelic. “I’m just a little emotional this morning. Waking up and seeing your face first thing. Baby, you don’t realize how many times I thought of how happy it'd make me, just to touch you, one more time….”
Judy looked away and teared up. “I’m so sorry, Valerie. I was messed up for a long, long time….”
But V shook her head back and forth. “I know, baby. I know. And I’m not mad. Not at all. I’m just so overjoyed that you and I are married now. I feel terrible about how I acted last month, ya know with Ree–”
Judy put her finger up. “I forgave you. Even though I know you came this close to fucking everything up.” She shot Valerie a dirty look. “But that's over now, baby. I know you didn’t do anything. I felt it in my heart. I love you.”
They held hands and squeezed tightly.
“Jude, I need you so much. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all these emotions inside of me. These feelings I have for you are so intense. And it’s so much deeper than the physical. Sure, it’s hands down the greatest sex I've ever had in my entire life, but it’s so far beyond that.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I can’t put it into words.”
“Yes! Same!”
“You know. Bianca and I were married for eleven years and if I’m being completely honest, I never experienced anything like what you and I are talking about right now.”
V smiled, leaned in and kissed her wife once. So tenderly. So full of love and joy. “Baby, promise me you’ll always come and talk to me if you’re feeling some kind of way. Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Hold me. I’m super sensitive this morning.”
They turned over on their sides.
“Okay. Want me to hum our song?”
V’s breath hitched. She gasped and squeezed Judy’s leg. “Yes, oh fuck yes.”
….And so they lay there as Judy’s voice sounded so melodic, lilting and she brought her wife right back to 2077 and the happiest times of her life.
“God, I didn’t think I could love someone this much,” V said, her own voice cracking. She spun around so they lay face to face. “It feels like I’m falling in love with you all the time.”
Judy smiled and her fingers moved slowly through Valerie’s hair. “Awww, how did I get so lucky?”
….Drifting in and out of sleep. Laughing, cooing, moaning, and crying. They stayed under the covers and pressed their naked smoldering bodies together. It was so hot under the heavy quilt. Catching a whiff of their fabulous pheromones, fluids and moisture mingling with every kiss.
“We’re gonna live forever, Judy Alvarez. Okay? Don’t even think of dying on me, okay?”
“I feel it too.”
Noon, a late breakfast in bed.
Rolling around, so deeply in love. Turn the TV on and leave the volume on low. Doesn’t matter what’s on. It’s only to enhance the ambiance! V goes to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom and comes back with a handful of stuff. She paints her wife’s toenails. Each one, a different color. They laugh.
“You paint mine now. And when they're all dry, you can do what you want with ‘em. Deal?” V winked.
“Yes, yes. Deal! Deal!”
Three in the afternoon....
They can’t leave the bedroom. And they haven’t even had sex yet. No. Today is for falling in love and bonding on the deepest kinds of levels. The intimacy is always gonna be there. But these moments of pure and true love are so beautiful and so incredible to behold on their own. The sanctity of desire! They take a nap. Judy’s lying on her back, straight up and down. V’s horizontal, her legs hanging over the bed, head resting on Jude's stomach. She can hear it bubbling and sizzling and she laughs out loud. They both do.
….The future’s a scary, frightening place. It’s full of cold, unfeeling artificial intelligence, pollution, war, disease, and violence.
The average life span for an NUSA citizen is 53 years….
53 YEARS?!?! That’s it. That’s all.
V’s about to turn 35. Jude’s already there. So when they do the math, they have 18 years left. It’s such an unbelievable tragedy! They'll take another moment for granted. Now V’s on her back and Judy's curled up in a ball, on her side. One leg draped over Valerie’s stomach, kissing her wife. She’s so full of emotion! The heat’s coming off their bodies.
"When I’m with you, it doesn’t really matter where we go or what we do. As long as I can kiss you every night and hold you every morning, there’s no harm that’ll ever come to either of us.”
“Mmmm….”
(….And the dream takes place in the waking world. Nothing makes sense, yet it all makes perfect sense. So many years passed by when they were apart from each other. They wandered, lonely, but then the dream returned and everything came back into focus….)
Life got in the way, but they learned to navigate through all the rainy days.
Rediscovery!
They rediscovered each other at Lizzie’s!
And now they're just about ready to go back to Night City. Isn’t it crazy? Isn’t it nuts? Aren’t they a couple of gonks? What are they thinking? It’s too dangerous! They don’t have enough money! They’ll never make it! What are they doing! What’s gonna happen?
But it's perfect. They’re exactly where they want to be. In love, together. Nothing can ever ruin the beauty they’ve cultivated. It was borne of happiness, pain, tears, sadness, joy….
Life!
Midnight now.... Where does the time go?
“Night, Alvarez. I had so much fun, spending the day in bed with you.”
“Awww, calabacita. Night-night. Today was nova. Love you….”
“Love you, forever….”
Notes:
Next: Huge life changes (all scary, exhilarating and nova!) are in the works.... Can the two lovebirds return to where it all began?
Chapter 56: Of The City & The Heart
Summary:
V & Jude wrestle with the decision to go back to NC. Are they ready for such a huge life change? They're not 23 anymore and things move so much faster now. But as always, things are different now. They know their love is able to conquer anything life throws their way....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. Maine
Wow. We’re like, so in love....
....V couldn’t fucking believe they were actually thinking of doing it!
Thirty five, and getting ready to say goodbye to what little stability remained in their turbulent lives. Were they really gonna move back to Night City with only the clothes on their backs, and barely a euro to their names?
She still wouldn’t definitively say yes, but Jude could tell she was weakening. They weren't naive. They knew they were taking a really, really big chance here.
But….
They were together. And anything life might throw at them would be so much easier to get past, now that they were a married couple.
….And so it was on the following Sunday, V finally agreed. They were lying in bed. Tired and horny. Judy was massaging her feet. Rubbing them over and over. The friction, creating heat, and the curious, enticing smell of hot skin. A little sour and salty, like vinegar and sweat, but Judy loved each and every one of her wife’s delicious scents. She brought V’s toes to her mouth and licked circles around them, over and over. Sucking on them gently.
(Valerie started giggling. After all, she was really ticklish!)
“Okay,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “Okay, baby. You wanna move back to NC? You and me? No money, no jobs? Wanna sleep in the bowels of a nightclub? As long as you promise to keep worshipping my hot, sweaty feet. Hahaha! Heh! Hehehehe! Let’s do it. I love you and I’m not afraid because I know, as long as we believe in ourselves, nothing bad is ever going to happen.”
Spontaneously, Jude burst into tears. “Calabacita! Really? Baby? Are you sure?” She started wiping her eyes, breathing heavily. Laughing and crying in equal measure.
“Mhmm. ‘M sure. As long as I can fall asleep and wake up in your arms, I don’t fuckin’ care if we move to the middle of the fuckin’ ocean. You’re my wife and that’s the only thing that matters.”
“Awww! God, how fuckin’ much I love you! I’ll ping Susie and tell her the preem news! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”
V flashed her a dirty look. “Hey, hey, hold on! Did I tell you to stop? Get those lips around my toes. Hmph, right away you try and get out of it!”
“Nuh-uh! I just wanted to tell her is all! I’m sorry. Here, lemme have ‘em.”
They stared at one another as Jude’s tongue went in and out of the spaces between Valerie’s toes. Kissing and smelling.
“Yeah, that’s it, leelou bean. Oh, you’re so dirty, huh? You and your little foot fetish, hmmm?”
“I can’t help it. I love ‘em.”
“Oh, I know you do.” V moved her other foot and started grazing the surface of Judy’s crotch. “Pull your panties down. You want me to rub that obnoxious clit of yours with my toes?”
Jude blushed hard. Only V, she thought. Only V. “God, yes. Oh, fuck yes, please.”
“Beg me or I’m not moving back to NC,” Valerie sneered with an evil grin on her face.
“Please. Please make me come with your sexy, gorgeous feet. I’m-I’m begging you. Please?” She yanked her underwear off in one swift motion and sat on her knees. Shaky and wobbly. The box springs creaked and groaned. The mattress already needed to be replaced from all the bouncing up and down!
V stared lewdly at the woman’s bare, shiny pussy. It was just yearning to be fucked. She took her big toe and slowly ran it up and down the center, parting Judy’s throbbing lips. She shuddered and almost lost her balance. The smooth tang of her honeyed sex quickly wove its way through the bedroom.
“You better not come yet,” V warned. “If you do, I’m not moving back to NC. You have to hold it, m’kay?”
“Ugh, calabacita, why’re you torturing me like this?”
“Because. If you want me to sleep on a fucking couch, then earn it. Now, sit there and don’t move a muscle. Just watch me.”
“Oh, shit. Fuck, o-okay.”
….Rhythmically, she traced a vertical line with her big toe from the base of Jude’s cunt, all the way back to the top. V moved so well. With every other pass through Judy’s soaked, reddened folds, her toe would catch the clit perfectly. Whimpering, aching with the strongest need to orgasm, she held it in and let it build. Because Valerie told her to and she had to be on her best behavior! Her pussy clenched tight and she made a praying sign with her hands.
“Please. Let me come, baby. I’m ready.”
V was lying on her back, with her foot pressed against Judy’s flower. Indifferently, she shook her head from side to side and ran a hand down below her own waist. She was touching herself.
“No,” she whispered. “Not yet.”
“Ugh, fuck, baby. You’re killing me.”
“Tough,” Valerie gasped, finding a rhythm all her own and rubbing her swollen sex. She curled her big toe against her wife’s g-spot and they both cried out in unison.
Judy started to sweat. It was getting harder and harder not to orgasm. V sped up and opened her mouth.
“Please, calabacita. Let me finish,” Judy pleaded, wiping the perspiration from her forehead.
“Almost. I wanna come too.”
They stared hard at each other. Mouths open, edging.
Closer.
Then….
V just simply closed her eyes and in her most sultry voice, said, “Come, leelou bean.”
It took about three seconds for Judy to burst. She gripped Valerie’s leg and rubbed against it harshly. They moved with a tender urgency. Like they simultaneously had all the time in the world, and none at all. Hips rocking, bodies thrusting. Whimpering softly. Both their pussies, tightening, then opening, trembling with nova energy. They came at the same exact time. Moving so fluidly. Their smooth, sleek, streamlined bodies bucked as they orgasmed. V worked her fingers with such deftness. Pushing them inside herself, curling and contracting around them. Her toes were slick with Judy’s fluids as the techie came so hard, she lost her balance and fell backwards onto the bed! As they slowed, V scrambled up to hold the other woman. They loved to embrace as soon as they finished having sex. She held her wife as Judy’s breath turned ragged.
“Fuckin’ love you, pumpkin,” she murmured.
“Mmmm, rest up, baby. We got a big life change coming up,” V answered, winking tiredly….
II.
….They gave their two weeks notice that Monday. Judy almost didn’t make it through the fourteen days. She despised the office environment. The work itself was actually kind of interesting. It was the other bullshit that went along with it! Meaningless, boring convos with strangers. Awkward exchanges at the copy machine. Taryn Blount’s inexplicable dislike for her. She couldn’t figure out for the life of her why the younger woman couldn’t stand her.
Finally, Judy worked up enough courage to confront the girl. V was nowhere around, so it was just the two of them.
“Taryn, Taryn,” she said, as the girl tried to walk past. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Please?”
She stopped and eyed Judy curiously, like she was seeing her for the first time or something. “Yes?” She asked.
“What did I ever do to make you dislike me? Seriously. I’m sure you know V and I are leaving at the end of next week. I just wanna know what I did.”
“I don’t dislike you,” Taryn said, evenly. “It’s just, ummm, you know. It’s not always work related, ya know? Stuff going on outside of here. Never mind. Yeah, I know the both of you are leaving soon. I’m sorry, Judy. Sorry for being a bitch that day. Good luck on your next job, or whatever you plan to do. Tell V too.”
Jude softened. “Thanks. and it’s okay. I mean, I appreciate you at least clarifying it a little bit. Putting it in context. I’ll tell V you wished her well.” She stuck out her hand and the younger woman took it in hers and they shook warmly.
"The two of you seem really cool. Shame we couldn’t have gotten to know one another a little better. Anyway, guess it doesn’t matter. How much time do you girls have left? The rest of this week and the next?”
“Uh-huh. Listen," Judy said in an unassuming voice. "Do you wanna have lunch with us?"
Taryn smiled awkwardly. “O-Okay. Sure.”
“Preem. Meet us in the breakroom. Noon. Don’t be late.” Judy smiled and winked.
….Turns out, the three of them got along really well. So well that V even extended an invitation to Taryn to visit them in Night City, once they were all settled and stable.
“I heard that place is so wild,” Taryn whispered, almost like it was taboo to talk about it during work. “Night City’s crazy, right?”
V and Jude looked at each other and smiled.
“Guess you’re gonna have to see for yourself, Taryn,” V said holding her wife’s hand.
She still could not fucking believe they were going back.
They had to be fuckin’ crazy!
Right?
Notes:
Next: Moving into the final phase of the story.... *wink wink*
Chapter 57: Metropolis....
Summary:
V & Judy's life couldn't be better. They're loved and respected by the younger generation of Mox girls and they've adjusted perfectly to being back in Night City....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
….Six Months Later
Life was….
Nova.
V and Judy were on a permanent high. From the moment they set foot back in Night City, they were buzzing with the most nova energy. They instantly got to work, and converted the basement at Lizzie’s II, into their own futuristic wonderland. They painted the brick walls a dozen different colors, hung posters, got second hand furniture and gathered up as many potted, hanging plants as they could. They even bought two cats and built them each little beds to lounge around in!
Their space soon became affectionately known as, “The Nest,” and it was the envy of the entire club. All the Mox girls, bartenders, staff, and joytoys wanted to see it, and at least once a week (always after hours!) they would throw the wildest, craziest parties. Everyone adored hanging out with them and there were many a Saturday and Sunday morning when V and Judy had to shoo all the hungover girls home. See the whole ecosystem of Lizzie’s revolved around the two older women. The Mox saw them as mentors. Survivors who had the skills and street-smarts to flourish here. They made for the perfect guides when it came to navigating the craziness of NC. and were always being sought after for advice or information. Valerie and Jude loved helping the younger crowd whenever they could. Whether it was through words of encouragement, hanging out for a drink, or simply which places to avoid and which to seek out, they always tried to steer the girls in the right direction.
….Jude had her own work area back and it proved to be the preemest space. The techie could finally be herself again, and live the life she was meant for. Tuning raw virtus (smut!) and creating the highest quality Braindance in the NUS. The entire basement had a vivid, intoxicating vibe. They loved it completely and so did everyone else….
V worked public relations as a liaison between the bar and the highest echelons of the downtown rich and famous. She needed their money and prestige in order for the club to rise in status. She would arrange all sorts of events and gatherings and she loved the work. It seemed like every week, there was someplace new and exciting to visit, whether it was a popular influencer's top floor penthouse or the next up and coming rock band’s practice space. She was awesome in her role. Somewhat surprisingly, more people remembered her than not, and steadily, business at the bar started to take off. Mostly, it was due to her endearing, charming personality, her sexy persona, and her innate charisma. She possessed an ability to bring people together, using Lizzie’s as a central meeting place for the who’s who of NC….
….And speaking of Night City, it was scarier, crazier, and more intimidating than ever before, but they seemed to thrive in its fast paced, volatile environment. They had to constantly be firing on all cylinders. Susie Q and Rita Wheeler said V and Jude found their second wind here, but only they knew the real reason for their success.
(It was love.
The love they felt for each other.
They were the happiest they’d ever been.)
They made their own hours. Slept until noon, ate brunch everyday and drank bloody marys and mimosas whenever they wanted. After all, wasn’t age only a number? They loved living life in the fast lane. Parties, dancing, drinking and staying up until 4:00 am, sometimes even later! Susie made good on her promise and once business picked up, she started paying them a decent wage. They never had to worry about rent so they saved every penny. And as far as their true intentions, they never breathed a word to anyone. The ultimate goal was always to save up enough eddies to one day delta and find their own oasis, their own paradise, far away from all the war, death, sickness and violence of 21st century dystopian society.
II.
V still regularly kept in touch with Sarah and Reena. She would always remember to ping her former lover at least once a month. They’d talk, catch up and it was a good experience for both of them. With Reena, V tried to touch base at least as much. There was a part of her who really did miss the older woman. Judy would still reach out to Taryn Blount on occasion; just to chat for a few minutes and catch one another up on the day to day goings on in their lives….
….Lying in bed early one Sunday morning, V yawned, stretched, scratched her ass, and held her wife tightly.
“Mmmm, morning, leelou bean. Or, should I say afternoon. It’s almost one.”
Judy groaned and kissed her wife lovingly on the side of her face. “Calabacita. Ugh, I don’t wanna get up yet. I’m so comfortable. I love all the heat you’re giving off. Mmph, gimme some more.”
They almost never wore anything more than boxers or tee shirts to bed and this morning was no exception. Judy had on a white half shirt and nothing else. Valerie, a super comfortable flannel pair of shorts. They rolled over and met in the middle of the bed, staring at each other, making out, laughing….
“Here. Take it,” she said, pulling her boxer shorts down around her ankles. “It gets so hot underneath all these blankets.” V ran a hand through the other woman’s hair, and then brushed a finger over her lips. “Can you believe this is our life?”
“Yes, no. Heh. If that makes sense. It’s almost like it’s so surreal, it has to be true. If you would’ve told me when I was 35, I’d be back in the basement at Lizzie’s, tuning smut, I’d have laughed in your face and called you the biggest gonk in the NUS. I mean I was married to Bianca for 11 years….”
Silence….
She’d struck a nerve and V sighed, sadly. She rolled over on her side, away from her wife. Judy rolled with her and held her gently….
“Regrets?” V asked. Her voice tinged with bitterness.
“Oh, stop. Absolutely not. The only regret I have is that I waited so long to tell you how I really felt. It just took me longer to find my way back to your heart.”
But she could hear Valerie whimpering softly. Even though they’d been married for over two years, certain memories still hurt the former mercenary.
“It’s still hard sometimes, ya know? To think how far apart we were?”
“Awww, calabacita. C’mere.”
She drew her in and they spent the next hour spooning. Over and over, Judy ran her hands through V’s hair, talking in calm, reassuring tones….
“You always know how to make me feel better,” Valerie said. “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, baby. I’m never going to be far away again….”
“Promise?”
“Promise….”
Notes:
Next: Living happily ever after....
Chapter 58: The Sex Party (Pt. 1)
Summary:
....V and Judy's lives couldn't be better! They've been back for about a year now and everything they touch turns to gold. The club is doing amazing. V's at the top of her game, and Jude is as content as she's ever been. One Friday morning, Valerie gets an email inviting her to attend a meet & greet for the rich and famous. The 0.001 percent? It's being held on a rooftop, downtown, atop one the tallest skyscrapers in NC. It soon becomes apparent that this is no ordinary meet/greet. It's a thinly veiled invitation to a mysterious sex party. One of the most intriguing of Night City's many urban legends. V's curiosity is piqued. When she talks to Judy about it, they come to the same conclusion.... There's no harm indulging in a little voyeurism is there?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
(Back in Night City for one year)
All in all, it was a preem year filled with anniversaries, birthdays, and all different kinds of mini-milestones. And of course, they couldn’t believe how fast the time flew by. Back for a whole year already? No way. It’s too fast. Can’t be. There has to be some kind of mistake. Except there’s not. It was only too true. Life was moving so fast. For V and Judy, it was one of those scenes in movies where the footage is sped up and it’s blurry and the lights leave trails and lines and the cars are streaks of motion, accelerating up and down the streets and avenues of Night City. They were both 35 and considered to be middle aged. It blew their minds because being back forced them to be young again. They had to keep up or risk getting swept away in the riptides and whirlpools of the city. The bar had risen to be one of the most popular nightspots in all of NC. Everyone who's anyone wanted to be there. It attracted all kinds of celebrities. Movie stars, rock stars, professional athletes, mercs, fixers, gangers, and corrupt politicians. It had even surpassed “Afterlife,” as the most popular nightclub on the West Coast. Their security was top notch and V made sure to hire only the best solos to ensure everyone was relatively safe and secure.
Valerie had ascended to be somewhat of a celebrity herself. Maybe not quite A-list, but definitely high B-list! Through her work, she got to know so many strange, weird, and fascinating people. She was invited to all the best parties, concerts, and clubs. Of course, she wouldn’t think of going anywhere without her leelou bean around her arm. An unfortunate by-product of doing this kind of work meant she was constantly being propositioned and getting hit on. Guys, girls. Whoever. And even though she never took off her wedding ring, it didn’t seem to matter. She was still incredibly beautiful. Sexy, a perfect body and a warm, bubbly disposition. Everyone wanted a piece of her. Inevitably, this created a bit of friction between her and her wife. But Jude trusted her and V never went anywhere without first asking if her wife wanted to come along. If anything, the temptations of the job actually strengthened the bond between them....
II.
….And so it was, on a Friday afternoon, Valerie received an invitation to attend an ultra-exclusive sex party being held on the rooftop of one of the highest skyscrapers in City Center. It was very thinly veiled as a meet and greet between the wealthy, but it was easy to read between the lines. This was one of those urban legends they’d sometimes overhear whispers of in the club. Only a select few people even knew of its existence and no one knew who the organizer or organizers were….
As she read through the instructions on how to get past the door, V felt flushed. She ran all the standard security checks. It was definitely authentic, not spam. An exhilarating warmth coursed through her and she realized she was blushing bright red.
“Jude!” She yelled to her wife, who was hard at work in the other room.
“Yeah?”
“C’mere! I wanna show you something!”
….A minute later, the techie came waltzing in and went behind V. She hugged her and kissed the side of her face.
“What’s up?”
“Read this. I got an email this morning. Here, sit on my lap. Let me know what you think.”
….As Judy read through the message, V could feel her tensing up. At one point, she let out a soft gasp and covered her mouth.
“Is this? Wait a second. Is this one of those sex things? Those parties where everyone just fucks each other’s brains out all night? It's legit?"
V squeezed her tight and whispered, “Mhmm. It's legit. Baby, let’s go. Fuck it. Not because I want anyone else, but wouldn’t it be kinda cool to watch other people while you and I are, ya know….”
Judy’s head whipped around. Her cheeks were light pink. Her expression, one of surprise and embarrassment.
“What? Wait, wait. Are you? You’re serious, aren’t you? V! Baby, are you unfulfilled in our marriage?” Judy licked her lips and started to panic a little.
But V just laughed in her sultry, raspy voice. “Of course not. I just think it might be fun. We never did anything like this before. And like I said. I don’t want to do anything with anyone, but Jude, come on. Be honest. Wouldn’t it be such a fuckin’ turn on to watch? Or to be watched?"
She buried her face in V’s neck. A few seconds later, she nodded and whispered, “Uh-huh. It would be. I'm wet just thinkin' about it."
“Let’s go. Come on, it’s tomorrow night. It’ll be nova. I read about these things, but I always just thought it was all bullshit. It’s on a rooftop? How fuckin’ nova will that be, hmmm?”
She felt Judy’s lips on her skin, sucking so softly. “Okay, calabacita. Why not? You only live once, right?”
As the rest of the day passed, they were both so aroused. V could feel it below her waist. She imagined watching two women scissoring, while she and Jude did the same thing. “Uhhh,” she whimpered, bending her knees. “Uhhh, fuck. I’m soaked just thinkin’ about it. Holy shit.”
Judy was worse because she’d been tuning smut for the last two hours and so she was already horny, hot and bothered. She pressed the palm of her hand against herself and grit her teeth. She felt her pussy clench tight, beyond her control. “What's happening here?” She wondered aloud.
(….In bed that night, they’d had their best sex in weeks. It was powerful, dirty. A little taboo and risque. Neither of them could get the party out of their heads.)
V was curled in a ball, on her side, sucking on Judy’s hardened nipple, moving her damp body up and down against her thigh.
“I’m so fuckin’ horny just thinkin’ about it,” V said, her voice hoarse with lust.
“God, I am too. Jesus Christ. I wanna fuck again,” Judy panted, breathless.
“Me too,” Valerie mouthed. "Roll over. Get on your hands and knees...."
Notes:
Next: The party....
Chapter 59: The Sex Party (Pt. 2)
Summary:
Tonight's the big night! V & Judy are headed to one of the highest skyscrapers in NC for an exclusive, "Meet and Greet." What will they find once they get there? What's it gonna be like? Are they really ready to let total strangers see them at their most vulnerable?
When in Rome.... Or, rather, when in Night City....
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I.
....Saturday morning 11:30 am
The day dawned warm and pleasant. They were up early, already wired and buzzing with so much sexual energy. Tonight was the night they were headed downtown, to one of those infamous Night City, "private parties." V got the invitation the day before and she and Jude decided to go. They had no idea what to expect. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. They had a pretty good idea of what would be going down. They’d never done anything like this before. Whether they were alone, or in a relationship. Through her work with Lizzie’s, V had become fairly well known, and as a result, got to know a lot of strange, super wealthy people. She had no idea who was throwing the bash, only that it was so exclusive, very few people knew of its existence.
….As they lay there in bed, Judy’s legs were bouncing. She was already super nervous.
“You sure about tonight, baby?” She asked, looking over to see V smiling at her coyly.
“I’m sure. I’m stoked. Fuckin’ horny already,” she answered. “Why? You having second thoughts? If you don’t wanna go, then we won’t go. Promise."
“No, I want to. I’m just worried that we’re like, gonna be asked to join in or something, and I definitely do not wanna do that.” She studied Valerie’s face. “Do you?”
“No, Jude. No, baby. Not at all. But I would like to watch. I can’t help it. I think that would be so fucking hot. God, just thinkin’ about it now gets me so riled up.”
The techie smiled. “I know. Me too. Listen. Can we make a promise before we go?”
“Sure. What is it?”
“If one of us feels uncomfortable and wants to delta, then we delta. Is that cool?”
“Awww, leelou bean. Of course it is. Yes, definitely. 100%. Absolutely."
“Okay then. Let’s fuckin’ do it, baby. Hehe. I do wanna watch people fucking. You’re right. Just thinkin’ about it makes me wanna come.”
“Should I shave?” V asked, lifting up the blankets and revealing her pussy. It was lush and overgrown. Covered by a heavy strip of soft, dark fur.
Jude bit her bottom lip. “You know how fuckin’ hot that looks? No. No, don’t shave. What about me?”
It was said in jest, as Judy pulled her shorts down and they both laughed. She barely had any hair at all. Just a few stubbles, here and there.
They held each other and started to get frisky, but then Valerie put her hand up.
“Let’s wait. It’ll make it that much more intense later on, right?”
“Ugh, okay. You’re right,” Judy lamented. “We’ll hold it. Oh, V. I’m so nervous!”
“I know. Me too. Me too…. What do you want to drink?” She asked, smiling. “Prosecco and orange juice? I’ll make breakfast. You want an omelette? We have leftover muffins. I’ll fry up some hash browns too. Sound good?”
“Fuck yes. Now you’re talking. Let’s start drinkin' now."
The party didn’t start for another eight hours and so they basically spent the afternoon drinking and living like two spoiled princesses. Now that they each had a salary and no rent, they bought the best food and drink money could buy. It was their one and only guilty pleasure. They splurged on things like brunch, and the highest quality alcohol money could buy….
“Let’s go shopping,” V announced. It was around 4:00 pm. “Let’s get really sexy outfits, yeah?”
“God, I can’t fucking believe we’re doing this. Yes, c’mon. Let’s go.” Judy said with a perpetual blush.
II.
….They started getting ready two hours before the event. They showered, trimmed their fronts and behinds. Straightened their hair and meticulously applied makeup. Picked out their best jewelry. Nose rings, hoops. V had nine in each ear. Jude, six. Their tattoos seemed to radiate color and heat. They both looked incredible, like they could have been on the cover of a magazine. The outfits they chose were nova. V’s was skimpy but still somehow so elegant. She had on the tightest leather miniskirt (it made her already perfect ass look even more perfect) with a vibrant, vintage Samurai sleeveless tee A lace bra and a super thin, black thong. Because she was already so sensitive, it felt fucking preem hugging her pussy. Judy had on a pair of tight, black jeans and a light gray tank top. Her panties were purple and they too felt so snug against her body.
When they walked upstairs to the bar, all the Mox girls stopped and stared at them. Then they whistled and squealed in delight. Every single one of them remarked how phenomenal the married couple looked!
They felt good. Really good. They were buzzing. Full of energy. Excited about all the weird possibilities of the evening. Little did they know, it would be beyond their wildest fantasies….
They arrived at City Center around 9:30 pm, a half hour after the party started. They stood on the sidewalk, out in front of the building and looked up. It was so tall, they couldn't see the top. Tentatively, they strolled up to a set of huge glass doors and were greeted by two hulking security guards and a well built, yet out of place doorman. He looked like he was chromed out and full of cybernetic enhancements. All three of the men stared at V and Judy lasciviously.
She was given explicit instructions in the email on how to greet the doorman. What to say and how to say it.
“We’re here for the rooftop concert,” she said, staring back at all three in turn.
“And the code word?” He asked in a low, even voice.
“Acapella,” she answered.
The man smiled, opened the door and said, “Take the elevator all the way to the top floor. Enjoy yourselves, V and Judy.”
Their jaws almost hit the floor. They stared at each other. Jude went to say something, but Valerie yanked her by the arm and led her inside. When they were riding the elevator, the techie gasped, “How the fuck did he know our names? What the fuck?”
“I have no idea! Judy! What are we getting ourselves into here?”
Maybe it was nerves or the feeling of being so aroused, but they held hands and burst out laughing. They were only on the 77th floor.
“Is this really our life?” Judy panted. “How fucked up are we, pumpkin?”
“Hehe. We’re pretty fucked up, baby. But I’ll tell you one thing,” V looked so sexy as she turned her head and lowered her voice. “As soon as we get up to the roof, and these doors open, I wanna ride your mouth as hard as I possibly can.”
They started making out. "Can't fuckin' wait," was all Jude said back.
III.
….Finally, the elevator dinged and came to a halt. They looked at each other and then at the number on the side panel. They were on the 120th floor. Their hearts were pounding out of their chests. Pulses, quickening. Wiping the dampness from their foreheads. The doors swung open and they both moaned in awe.
It was a verdant paradise! Lush vegetation grew everywhere. If they hadn’t seen it with their own two eyes, they wouldn't have believed it in a million years. It was absolutely insane! Plants, trees, vines and living walls of flowers were all over. The air was clean, pure. It smelled heavenly up here. It was like they were transported to some crazy, fantastical jungle. An oasis in the middle of Night City!
“Oh my god. This is fuckin’ amazing!” V said, squeezing Jude’s hand. They soon lost their bearings and forgot they were a thousand feet above all the dirt, grime, filth, and pollution of the city below.
They hadn’t noticed the man and woman, standing close by, eyeing them curiously.
“V? Judy? My name is Cynthia.” She was tall and had long, flowing platinum blonde hair. Stunning. Dressed in an outfit that accentuated her beautiful features.
“How do you know our names?” Judy asked, still staring at the magnificent scene before them.
“Because every invitation was assigned a specific number before being sent out. Also, we gathered as much information on the recipients as we could. We choose our guests very, very carefully.”
The man chimed in. “We don’t allow just anyone in here. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to live out your wildest fantasies. As I’m sure you’ll soon discover.”
At that, both women tensed. They weren’t here to have sex with other people. They were here to watch and to be watched. Valerie smiled, but articulated their sentiment. “Ummm, you know. We’re married. Very happily. We’re not required—”
“Of course not,” the woman answered. “No one is required to do anything. This is your night. Both of us. To spend it exactly how you want. True. It is extremely rare that we would extend an invitation to a married couple, but V. Someone very powerful thought you and your wife might enjoy yourselves here.”
“Who?”
“Oh, we’re not at liberty to say,” the man added. “Just know that you have a fan out there among the 0.001 percent.”
Already, Cynthia was fucking them both with her eyes. “The party ends promptly at 7:00 am the following morning. Other than that, just have fun.”
“Do we just go where we want?”
“Yes. There’s minibars located throughout the area. They’ll provide you with all the refreshments you may need. There’s outdoor showers, cots, beds, and several other comforts and amenities. Everything is free. Everything. There’s around 170 guests in attendance tonight. That’s it. Go wherever you want. Do whatever you want. Nothing is out of bounds.”
They nodded and subconsciously gravitated towards the center of the area. As they made their way deeper into the man-made forest, they began noticing more and more people. Men, women. Some holding hands. Some in groups. Others, alone. A few times, they thought they recognized someone famous but they were trying not to stare. None of the people appeared to be self-conscious whatsoever. Every few seconds, they could hear sounds of sex and it spurred them on to do the same. Eventually, they came upon a neat, little clearing where a bunch of blankets and quilts were laid out comfortably, neatly on the floor. The space was surrounded on all sides by heavy vines, bushes and wooden lattice framework, overgrown with plants and colorful flowers.
They stopped, looked at the stars in the sky and then each other.
V looked bashful. She whispered, "Well. So, uhhh. You wanna start messin’ around?” They were both really nervous. This was all so new to them.
“What if someone finds us?” Judy asked, licking her lips.
“That’s the point, baby," Valerie winked. "Maybe then they’ll lie down next to us and start having sex too."
“O-Okay. Right. I’m sorry,” Judy panted. “I’m so nervous.”
“It’s okay. I think it’ll go away once we start licking and smelling each other, hehe.”
“V! Okay. Fuck it. Let’s do it. C’mon! We only live once, right?”
They didn’t waste any time, and dove into each other as soon as they sat down. It took about 30 seconds for them to completely lose all inhibition. Now they didn’t care who heard them and soon, they felt the insistent tug of wanting, needing to be seen. It was a warm, humid night, and they were so high up above the asphalt jungles below. V laid flat on her back and propped herself up by the elbows. Jude went on her stomach and slithered forward like a snake. She peeled V’s tight, sweaty thong down around her ankles and left the leather miniskirt alone. And then, dismissively, she pushed open her legs and smiled. Her mouth was less than an inch away from V’s glistening pussy. Judy studied it close up as it pulsed with sensitivity. Gently, she ran a finger up and down the center, languidly parting Valerie’s folds. Her fluids were the color of milk, so thick with arousal. The scent, intoxicating and powerful, like bruised petals of so many pungent flowers....
IV.
(And then?)
In the distance, beyond the clearing, two young women suddenly appeared. Stunning, like forest nymphs. Timid and cautious. Blushing intensely. They were holding hands, completely transfixed by the sight of the lovers on the ground just a few feet away, making love with unparalleled, passionate energy. They looked to be in their early to mid twenties. Both were tall, statuesque and athletic. Each had long, straight multi-colored hair. They were nude, except for their jewelry and beautifully intricate body art. They wore heavy, long necklaces, earrings, and a multitude of tattoos colored their tanned skin.
By this point, Judy was buried so deep in her wife’s heat. She was making loud, lewd noises, her tongue curling and twisting around V’s aching nub, flattening and licking up and down the center of her pussy, opening her lips and brushing against her reddish, pink clit.
It was actually Valerie who first noticed the two girls. She was still on her elbows, talking dirty to Jude. Saying things like, “You belong right there, between my legs, sucking on it like it’s your, your, mmph, fuckin’ job. Baby, c’mon, god. Fuckin’.... Ugh, huhuh, uhhuh.”
She opened her eyes and gasped loudly when she saw them. Jude heard her cry out, but was so focused, she could only turn slightly and whimper in shock. Her face was soaking wet. Saliva and come hung in threads from her chin.
The strangers sat down right next to them, not even a foot away and it instantly became an incredibly intimate space.
After a few seconds, the taller girl whispered to her partner, “This is so fuckin’ hot. Look at her licking her output. Wow, it’s like she’s starving for it.” Jude heard her and sped up, desperate with need. Her tongue, moving with such fantastic rhythm, lapping V’s most sensitive places. The other woman was much more timid and shy. She just whimpered over and over as she watched their every move, listened to their every sound, and smelled every luscious scent of sex that wove its way through the nighttime air.
V stared back at the both of them as Judy never even paused to catch her breath.
In her sexiest voice, V whispered, “You like watching us? Huh?”
This time, the quiet girl gasped, “You look fucking beautiful. So does your output. Are you gonna come?”
V’s cheeks burned with the fiercest fire. She clenched her teeth and shook her head no; trying to hold the orgasm at bay. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been this turned on. Jude didn’t let up once. In fact, she kept the pressure on. Tasting her deeply, her mouth clamped tight over V’s silky smooth tuft of dark fur.
“Come for us.”
“I wanna watch you,” V panted, gripping the back of Judy’s head and grinding against her face. “Fuck, I-I wanna w-watch you both. C’mon.” Her fingers ran through her wife’s hair before her head shot backwards as she felt a finger push gently into her tight, twitching ass. “Awww, fuck," she whimpered. “Don’t know how much longer I can hold it. C'mon, lemme see you two. Want me to beg?” Judy moaned loudly in agreement, straight into Valerie’s opening and she let out a guttural cry of pleasure.
They soon got their wish as the two strangers fell down on the blankets and started making love right next to them. They were all so turned on. Watching each other fuck and how nova could it be? Gradually, more and more people appeared. They gathered around in a tight circle; watching these couples pour out their heart and soul. The audience was all women (all beautiful). It was obvious the techie and the former mercenary had become the center of attraction. Some of the people stood. Some sat. They all watched with lust in their eyes, fascinated. Some had even already begun touching themselves....
….V couldn’t fathom how so many guests were suddenly here watching, staring. “Wow. Baby, get your head out of my pussy for a second and take a look around," she said in her most sultry voice.
But Jude could barely hear her. She was lost in another world. It was impossible for her to pull away from her wife. She needed to taste her completely. “No,” she said, breathless. “Let ‘em watch. I just don’t ever wanna stop, V. Never, ever wanna let you go. I'm so fuckin' ready for you, baby. Now, be a good girl and come...."
End. Part One
Notes:
Next: Rolling around on the jungle floor....
*Oops, sorry. Made a mistake with the title for this chapter.
Chapter 60: Pulse Up, Hair Down
Summary:
V & Judy are still on the rooftop, in the middle of a strange jungle. They're having an amazing time at this party. They're getting to live out some of their deepest, darkest fantasies. Will they be tempted to stray? Sure they will. But they've been through too much together to risk everything on a one night stand. Their love is way too strong.
....Still, it's easy to have fun when all you care about is foolin' around!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I. A Lush Rooftop. Somewhere in City Center
….They were performing for an audience and it made them high. V and Jude had mind-blowing, powerful sex, within inches of another couple. Several times, the four of them came close to switching it up because in all reality, they were wholly unprepared for the sheer intensity of these raw, personal acts. Being under the spotlight while everyone watched? It was intoxicating and they chased that feeling as much as they could. And then to top it off, all these different women joined in and wrapped themselves up in the heavy blankets, so that moments later, there’s a half dozen, sweating, aroused bodies rolling around right next to one another.... The pinnacle of hedonism!
(It was next to impossible to stay with your partner when everyone was switching up and fucking all around you.)
(No one did it.... Everyone changed partners)
(Everyone except V and Jude.)
Sure. They were tempted. But with everything they’d been through in their lives, and how much they respected the love they cultivated, they realized it would be a colossal mistake. It would haunt them forever. That's not to say they hadn't each thought of asking the other if it'd be okay to swing, but their hearts ultimately prevailed and they stayed wrapped in one another’s arms for the entire party, never having the urge to stray again. It was about faith and trust. To be tempted, but to stay true. They could still be wild and experience some of the taboo, hidden fantasies building inside, but what they shared was way too special and sacred to throw away on a glorified one night stand.... Tonight, they let loose. There'd be no record of this party, anywhere. All electronic devices were confiscated at the elevator. There were no pictures, no scrolling and no videos. Nothing would carry over except memory and after 7:00 am, it would be like it never happened….
“I love you,” Judy whispered, kissing V all over her sweaty body. She was lying on top of her wife, while all around them, the sights, sounds, and smells of unfiltered, natural sex were happening at the speed of light….
“Awww, love you, leelou bean. See what we started? Look around. Isn’t this fuckin’ wild? I’ve never seen anything like it before. Not even in Braindance. Look at all these women."
“Mmmm, it’s crazy. I thought I'd be all shy but I’m having so much fun, V. Are you?”
“Yeah, baby. And I’m so happy we didn’t do anything we’d regret later on.”
Judy kissed her harshly on the mouth. She found her tongue and they moaned in ecstasy. “Same. Now fuck me again,” she gasped….
II.
….Around midnight, they stopped to take a break. For hours, they’d pushed, pulled, loved, watched, listened, and now they needed rest. Everything they did was so magnified. Sometimes, there were so many other people watching them. But they were having a fucking blast. It was so worth it. They’d become the star attraction of the evening, but their bodies simply couldn’t take it anymore. They were thirsty, and desperately wanted ice cold beer. Finally, they decided to get up and do some exploring. They had no idea where their clothes were, but it didn’t matter. Everyone else was naked and actually, it would’ve been more weird if they were dressed. Gingerly, they made their way out of the enclosed space, leaving behind so many gorgeous girls. The rooftop was magnificent. Warm, humid, but clean and fresh. They could see the starry night sky. Above the smog, it was nova. Everywhere, people were having sex. It was like one giant orgy. They heard hushed sounds of moaning and groaning. Every few minutes, someone would cry out that they were coming....
“Calabacita?” Judy whispered, looking around and shaking her head, like she still couldn’t believe they were here and this was their life. “Wanna take a shower?”
“God, yes. I think I see a few in the distance, near the bar. I’d love to hold you under the water.”
“Mhmm, me too, baby,” she smiled.
….This whole experience was so liberating! It was like they were free to do whatever they wanted and no one was there to bitch at them or tell them it was wrong. They were free. Just to be able to walk around nude and not give a shit who saw them, or what they’d think! Anyway, it felt more natural like this. Curiously, up until now, they’d seen very few men. A few here and there. Maybe they were in another area. Whatever. But no sooner had they ordered their drinks, when two guys came up behind them. Both tattooed and well-built. Musicians possibly? Athletes?
“Hey. How’s it going, you two?” One of them asked. Both guys stared hungrily. Already, their minds were spinning all sorts of lurid, explicit fantasies. After all, they were at an anything goes ultra exclusive party, so they couldn’t really be blamed for thinking they were gonna get laid by these beautiful women.
V and Judy looked absolutely breathtaking. Otherworldly. The exuded sensuality. Their nude bodies, aglow and reddened from constant sex. Skin shining with subtle amounts of sweat. Their hair, damp and wearing the preemest jewelry. So many crazy piercings and inked up everywhere. Plus, they radiated a purely delightful scent of arousal. Startled, Jude spun around and immediately felt super self-conscious. She covered herself with her arms and hands. But V stood there, proudly, boldly, showing off her pristine, supple figure. She knew she looked fucking amazing. “Hey,” she answered back, smiling confidently. Judy hid behind her, so the men could catch no further glimpses. She grabbed her wife’s hand and held it tight.
They were probably in their late 30s, early 40s. V thought them attractive in a rough, rockerboy kind of way. She studied them from head to toe and smirked. They conjured up images of Johnny Silverhand. Both were quite well endowed.
“So, yeah. Isn’t this crazy?” The other asked, trying as hard as he could not to stare. He was failing miserably. It was next to impossible. Valerie didn’t care though. No harm in looking. “You having a good time?” He added.
Judy gave them each dirty looks but V answered, “Yeah, preem as hell. You guys?”
“Definitely. So ummm, what are you two up to now?”
“Just about to grab a drink and hit the shower.” Valerie decided to toy with them a little bit. “Why? What’s up?” She asked, and suddenly her voice sounded so seductive.
Both of the men stumbled and stuttered. They couldn’t believe their luck! Here were two of the sexiest women they’d seen since arriving on the roof, standing right in front of them!
“Looking for some company?”
Judy gasped, incredulous and squeezed V’s hand, urging her to delta, but she wasn’t finished yet.
“Company? What do you mean? Like, in the shower? What?”
Both guys nodded. “Yeah, definitely, or-or wherever. You and your friend are so fucking gorgeous. Wow.”
At that point, Valerie turned slowly to face Judy. She winked and said, “Why thank you! Hmmm. Let me ask my beautiful WIFE. So, baby. What do you think? You want some company?”
Both of the men gulped and suddenly looked lost and weak. For the first time since they showed up, Judy flashed the briefest of smiles.
“Uh-uh. Nope," she said, shaking her head. “I wanna shower with my girl and go down on her until she….” Judy held the word on the tip of her tongue. V looked to see them getting hard and she nearly burst out laughing. “Comes,” Jude whispered. They both giggled and turned around, giving the two gonks a final glimpse of their perfect asses. They waved, grabbed their beers and walked away….
They walked, hand in hand, up and down narrow pathways, immersed in this crazy, surreal garden. And then, like some preem discovery, they noticed a single, outdoor shower tucked away in the middle of a dense cluster of bushes.
“This is so fucking cool,” Valerie said, turning on the water.
“I want you again, baby,” Judy said, her breath ragged and full of ache. She pulled her wife close and kissed her on the mouth.
"Then show me, leelou bean,” V said in a low, sexy voice that sounded like honey being poured over heat. “Show me….”
Notes:
Next: All tomorrow's parties. Moving on, living life, loving one another completely
(I'm just, uhhh, starting to wrap things up. Wind things down)
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 1 Thu 10 Jul 2025 09:18AM UTC
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ItsNightbreed on Chapter 1 Wed 23 Jul 2025 08:53PM UTC
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MsHermione on Chapter 3 Sat 06 Sep 2025 05:03PM UTC
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thewrestler_Beauregard on Chapter 5 Wed 16 Jul 2025 05:28AM UTC
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thewrestler_Beauregard on Chapter 8 Fri 18 Jul 2025 06:26PM UTC
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thewrestler_Beauregard on Chapter 12 Tue 22 Jul 2025 05:56AM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 12 Tue 22 Jul 2025 07:03AM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 14 Thu 24 Jul 2025 03:31AM UTC
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thewrestler_Beauregard on Chapter 15 Thu 24 Jul 2025 08:24PM UTC
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Sarcad on Chapter 16 Fri 25 Jul 2025 04:05AM UTC
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CyberW0lf on Chapter 17 Sat 26 Jul 2025 02:38PM UTC
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thewrestler_Beauregard on Chapter 20 Wed 30 Jul 2025 12:37AM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 21 Wed 30 Jul 2025 06:35PM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 23 Sun 03 Aug 2025 08:40AM UTC
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Sarcad on Chapter 26 Tue 05 Aug 2025 07:24AM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 26 Tue 05 Aug 2025 11:42AM UTC
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Judyalvarezforever on Chapter 27 Tue 05 Aug 2025 04:06PM UTC
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