Chapter Text
A baby's cry sounded through the soundproof walls, and soon the gentle sound of a woman hushing the cries was heard.
Red stained the ground, a beautiful yet haunting color, that would forever taint the white it used to be. The sound of heavy breathing and murmurs was heard, yet the woman who lay upon the ground didn't care.
"M-my baby. Give me my baby."
Once upon a time, there was a woman.
The midwife was quick to hand the swaddled, still crying, infant to the woman; she was in pain, but she wanted nothing more than to hold the life she had brought into this world.
She was the daughter of a dangerous man, a man who wanted nothing more than to control the world and shape it into his image —a perfect utopia where the strong survived and the weak dwelt out. The woman hated her father; she, who was born female, would never lead the empire her father had built, would be nothing but a tool.
It was a fate that could never be escaped from.
The woman's hair was brushed aside, and all she could do was stare in wonder at the small crying pink blob her vision couldn't focus on at the moment; the baby was bathing in blood, and its cries were loud as its small hands curled into fists.
But still, she stood by his side. Ever loyal to his cause.
She bathed in the blood she spilled on the ground, the screams and begs of her victims were music to her ears. Her blade coated in red, she was the definition of a grim reaper. Unyielding.
Until one day, she met a man.
"Oh my baby..." she whispered delusionally from the blood loss, her head nuzzling the stop of the baby's head, and as if knowing just whose touch it was, the baby slowly calms down.
This man stood for justice.
He fought for a city that only brought pain and misery to its inhabitants, a city that was well-renowned for its death and crime, a land filled with fire and smoke as crime ran amok from left to right. He was the dark knight.
A vigilante who fought for the people. For those who could not defend themselves.
She stared at the baby, her baby, who was soon nursing from her breasts.
The midwife worked in the background, but she couldn't care less as she stared at the life SHE had given birth to.
The woman and man fell in love.
And one day...the woman realized she was pregnant.
She knew what her father would do if the baby turned out like her--wrong, weak, female. But she also knew that her beloved would not accept her if he were to learn of her true nature, a monster who preyed on the weak and killed with no remorse.
Objectively, she knew the child, regardless of their gender, would be safer and happier with him, but-
She sobbed quietly, "I swear I'll protect you. I'll give you everything you want. The storm clouds will cry for you...wind and sky will be captured for you." She kissed her bloody head, staining her lips red.
"You'll never want for anything."
The woman was selfish; she wanted to keep the child who would be born from flesh and blood by her side. She who had been denied almost anything wanted this child to herself--she would hide, she would keep it safe, she would not let her father get his hands on her.
"Amira...your name will be Amira"
The child was Amira Martha Al Ghul.
And this is the story of her doomed life.
Once upon a time, there was a girl.
She was born underground and raised underground.
Her name was Amira.
Amira was a small but strong child.
Despite being raised in darkness and never seeing the light, she longed for nothing more.
There weren't many people besides her provider; her provider was warm and strong--the provider protected Amira. She fed her when she was hungry, comforted her when the scary booms of outside sounded, and taught her when she needed to be taught.
Yes, the provider was all Amira knew.
Amira knew nothing but the underground where she was born and raised.
The shadows were the only friends she had, and her mother was the only warmth she felt.
The provider was protective of Amira.
Amira didn't know why the provider was so protective of her, but she didn't question it. She hid in the shadows as she was taught when she was two. She stayed silent until she was in the clear; she watched as she was taught to.
She didn't ask questions; her provider always grew worried when she did. She got sad.
Amira didn't like it when her provider
But children, even at a young age, grew curious about the world around them.
Amira was taught how to hide, how to see, how, and when to remain silent. She was taught to be a shadow from a young age.
Why?
Why was she told to be a shadow?
Amira learned how to be sneaky, so sneaky even the provider wouldn't be able to find her.
She explored the rather large underground home they lived in. Her bare feet hit the metal ground, and her hands ran over the metal frame. There were no doors, so she was allowed to explore as freely as she could as long as she didn't go to the gate.
Never go to the gate, that's where the bad men are.
Amira loved being in the bedroom; it was where she and her provider slept. The provider told them that in a few years, she didn't know what years were, but they seemed important, they would leave and see the sky.
The sky...Amira wondered what it looked like.
The provider told her there were many dangerous things outside their home, dangerous monsters that would hurt them, gobble them up, and leave nothing behind.
Amira doesn't want to see the monsters; she doesn't like them.
Their home was small and easy to memorize.
Soon, there wasn't a single spot in their home that the child didn't know like the palm of her hand.
Until one day, she saw something she couldn't forget.
It was a day like any other, the provider was at the gate again-she always did that, going to the gate at least once a month, and Amira was doing her daily walk around their home.
She hummed a low melody; her provider had introduced her to music. Music. What a funny word.
She liked music. She wanted to hear more.
As she hums, she spots something...a hole.
The thing about getting used to everything around you...Is that you slowly begin to notice when something is out of place
Amira glanced to the side and then slowly made her way toward the hole. She has to go to her knees to see clearly, but as she does, color is all she sees.
Her eye widens as she's practically leaning her cheek on the wall. Is that the sky? Are those clouds?
She had no idea how pretty the world was.
Amira doesn't move and gasps as something appears in front of her. It's small and it seems to be...fuzzy? It has a beak, and its legs are like talons? She frowned, and as she looked outside again, she couldn't help but whine when she noticed it was gone.
The child was mesmerized by the creature, so she did everything she could to learn about them
That was her first mistake.
The provider gave her books, and in those books she learns what the strange creature was.
A bird.
Her eyes sparkled at the sight of it, and she began to learn more and more.
And as she does, she longs to see it again. By any means necessary.
Her second mistake was not stopping the curiosity
She begins to sneak around, looking through the hole more and more.
As she lay in her provider's arms, she couldn't help but look up at the ceiling and wonder what the sky would look like above her. A smile spread across her face as she thought about it.
Her provider noticed her attitude and patted her head with an amused look in her eyes. She seemed to be happy that she was happy.
So that meant Amira was doing good!
She was doing good!
Her third mistake was not listening
Amira begins to ask about the gate.
The gate was the last thing stopping her from seeing the outside world, from seeing the sky and the birds. She wanted to see them, she wanted to see all of it.
Her provider was upset now.
She refused to say anything, and in turn, she grew upset with the provider.
She wanted to go outside, she wanted to see it!
Why couldn't she understand?
Amira decides one night that she'll leave by herself. She didn't need the provider! She could do it herself
So she does exactly that.
One night, she goes to the gate and opens it--the monsters are waiting there.
Her fourth, and final mistake...
Amira reached for her provider as she reached toward her, tears streaming down her face, as she was taken away.
She looked up and saw the sky--tears still fell.
Suddenly, the sky hurt to see, and suddenly she hated the birds she once, upon a time, longed to interact with. She wanted her provider, just one last time, she wanted to feel her warmth, her love...but because of her, those things were gone
And all she could do was cry as she heard the cries of anger left in her wake, the sound of screaming, and the sound of her provider calling out for her
"M-mama"
Her provider, mama.
She wanted her mama
...was thinking anyone would be able to protect her in the first place.
And so, the child was taken away from her home.
.
.
Once upon a time, there was a child.
She had once been raised in a loving home, though shrouded and darkness and silence, it was the only home she knew. She was taken in the night, all because of her selfishness and greed, all because she refused to listen.
Amira wakes in a cell. She runs to the bars and tries to shake them to get someone's attention
The child didn't know it then, but her worst nightmare was about to become reality.
She didn't know that everything she knew would disappear. Her pride, her faith, everything would be taken from her.
Even her identity
A man appeared, he wore green, and she could feel nothing but fear as he gazed down at her with those toxic green eyes; they seemed to glow and bore a hole right through her as if staring directly into her soul.
Green was always her favorite color, but in this moment, she felt nothing but cold, shivering fear.
"This is my daughter's spawn? How pathetic"
He spat out, like she was hardly worth his time
The girl was afraid and lost. And suddenly wished she had returned to the underground, where her mother had raised her. The place she had once resented had suddenly become her safe haven.
She wanted to go back in time, tell herself not to do it. To listen to her mother.
...but she would soon learn that life is anything but kind to her.
She's pulled out of the cell by a masked soldier. Her feet stumble, and she can feel the cuts forming as she trips on the sharp pavement.
The underground was safer; it was smoother—nothing like this.
She didn't know it then, but...the nightmare was just beginning.
And this one-
Amari was left standing in a room where more soldiers were inside
-Was one she wouldn't be waking up from.
And suddenly, without warning, she felt pain.
The child was four years old. No child should have ever felt or experienced what she did.
Amari couldn't feel anything. Instructors screamed at her, pulling her hair until she begged for mercy, cutting into her skin, and not helping her tend to them. She was hit until she couldn't feel her body anymore, and lying in her own vomit, and left to rest, only for the pain to repeat again.
It was a hell she couldn't escape from, a hell she brought upon herself.
As she lay in her own waste, she hummed a melody her mother would;d always sing to her. It was the only thing she had left
...she hadn't seen her mother in a long time.
She was alone, with the monsters her mother had warned her about.
Time passed.
Her body broken and torn, but still hanging on, her mind shattered, her life out of control as the darkness swallowed her whole.
All of this, all of the pain, was her fault. She brought it upon herself
Useless-that's what the man with green eyes told her.
Weak- he sneered when she couldn't, or wouldn't, fight back.
Unworthy- he growled the first time they had injected her with a green liquid, only for her body to reject it completely.
There was nothing but cold and darkness around her.
She got used to it.
Began to fight back, unbothered by the pain the soldiers experienced. Only then did they seem to treat her as one of their own. She fought back with or without pride, doing so with precision and without remorse.
Only then did the man with green eyes treat her with kindness, only then did he finally tell her who he was and what her new role was.
He was her grandfather.
And she?
She was to be his greatest weapon.
Once upon a time, there was a child.
Stripped from her home and thrown into a cold and bitter darkness.
She fought for the light but was never successful and eventually gave up.
Her pride was destroyed
Her faith was non-existent.
Her body was no longer hers to command.
"Father" Talia Al Ghul. She wasn't her mama. Not anymore. The head said so
"Daughter," he replied just as coldly, "I have a gift for you."
"...a gift?" she asked
Amira didn't say anything, simply stayed hidden in the shadows as was commanded.
"Yes," he nodded and smiled, an empty one, "I was so very deeply upset when I found out about it. My heart, or what remains of it, broke when I realized your plans". He spoke softly and took great joy in watching his daughter's face pale.
"But," he lifted a hand, "Do not worry. I've rectified your mistake." he turned to the shadows, and she stepped out
Amari can see the way Lady Talia gasped; she can see the tears forming in her eyes, but she doesn't take them into account. Amari is wearing the customary uniform, but with a few differences; a green half shoulder cape, her feet were bare, and covered in scars.
She kneels.
The child was four years old when she died.
"My greatest weapon"
And Talia?
Talia weeps at the sight of her.
Now...there was only a weapon in her place
.
.
Once upon a time, there was a weapon.
It was crafted to not think, to not speak, to not think.
Once, it acknowledged, it had been a child. But that time had come and gone.
Lady Talia weeps, and it feels nothing for her.
Amari is instead confused. Why would the Lady weep for it? It understands they were once close, but that time had long since passed
It was crafted...not to feel.
Lady Talia soon disappears, loyal to the head as all the others were. It can tell she was planning something, but didn't know what. The head of the league told it not to focus on that and to instead focus on its training.
And so it does.
It's taken to a woman called Lady Shiva. She is training the best of the best, and as such, that's where it belongs.
Lady Shiva takes one look at her and deems her worthy of missions.
But not on her own
It stands in front of another girl, she's older than it is, and she stares at it up and down. It does not wilt, nor does it tense. It was better than she was, and it knew it.
"This is Kagami Tsuguri. She will be your partner on missions."
It bows at her, and its partner returns it. It does not offer its name and instead turns to face Lady Shiva, who sighed, as if expecting its actions, and turning to face Kaggami, "You'll be in charge, and let it be known: If there are any failures, they fall on you. Not her. Understood?"
Kagami nods
"Good. Now, be on your way."
Kagami leaves, and it follows.
Forever the loyal and good shadow it was trained to be.
It didn't flinch at the sight of blood anymore, nor did she shut her eyes at the screams.
It was made into a weapon and, as such, would be a weapon.
Kagami and It are a good team.
Kagami leads, and it follows behind her, providing support for her strength and rash actions at times. It doesn't flinch when Kagami has outbursts of rage and takes it out on their victims, and simply stares in silence.
It did not understand how someone like Kagami was born into the League.
Or rather, didn't understand why Kagami was in the League in the first place.
Lady Tsuguri, Kagami's mother, was Lady Shiva's right hand. Once a legendary and feared warrior reduced to nothing but a shell of who she once was, she had become blind after an attack on her and had since focused on preserving her family name.
She was by no means a weak woman. It had watched her take down men bigger than her with nothing but a stick. But the head of the league saw her as a disgrace, and as such, she had been tossed aside.
And now, it seemed, Kagami was the heir to the Tsuguri name.
The Tsuguri's were not born in the league like It or Lady Shiva were. They had become part of it. Mostly for the money. Perhaps that's why the Master disliked them in the first place.
It eventually tells Kagami its name. The name given to her by Lady Talia and allowed by the head of the league.
Kagami is shocked, but it barely acknowledges it.
Who it once was matters no more. It was a weapon now, and that's its fate.
Life was nothing but a repetitive cycle.
Calling it a 'life' would be an exaggeration of what life truly was
"Why are you here?"
One day Kagami asked, tilting its head at her, it asks "What do you mean?"
"Here," Kagami gestured to the base. "You should be with Lady Talia or Lord Ra's. Why here with the shadows?"
It frowned and tapped its chin. "It's what I was born to do," it hummed, "The Lord deemed it my role."
Kagami glared at the ground. "I wish I could hit him."
"Why?" it asked
"Don't you think you deserve more respect? You're his family," she shot back
"I don't need respect," it shrugged. "I eat. I drink. I sleep. I don't need anything," its lips twitched. "Besides, anyone else can have it. They'd deserve it more".
"...I wish you'd be more assertive"
"I am a weapon," it spoke softly, "I don't need to be anything more but that."
They sat in silence after that.
The missions were all it had to keep it occupied.
At times, the head would call It, but only to deem her good or not. It quickly learned it had to be better than good.
"What happened?" Kagami whispered as she stared at the scar on its face.
It was over its eye, which was bandaged.
"I failed to meet expectations." It sat beside her and accepted the food offered to it. It ate slowly before jumping as it felt Kagami drop her head on her shoulder
"You're strong."
It blinked and glanced down at her, as best it could with one eye injured, and hummed in question
"You're strong to keep going." Kagami admitted, "It makes me jealous. My mother admires your drive...she's never complimented me before like that."
It frowned
"I...don't know much about having a mother," it admitted, but I believe she wants you to be better than she was."
"She can show it better."
"In the league that IS her showing it."
"Fair, I suppose."
They sat in silence before Kagami sighed and grabbed her hand. "I'm glad you're my partner."
"Hm?"
"You're the only one who can outmatch me. I...like that"
Its lips twitched. "I admire your passion," it paused, "I...don't remember what passion feels like anymore."
"Maybe one day you will"
"I doubt it," it huffed.
"I know you will."
"Are you confident about that?"
"I am"
It stayed still and reached over to hold Kagami's hand. Kagami's fingers twisted and ran over its own scarred ones; they were warm, and for a moment, it blinked at the warm sensation in its heart. It felt...nice to have this to herself.
Kagami was never this open with anyone. Just Amari.
It liked that, the only warmth it had received in years.
All of it...belonged to Amari.
All of this. Kagami. This warmth. Kagami. Was all for it.
It smiled, an empty one, and said, "I'll hold you to that.
The next day, it was called by Lady Talia, and it was met by a small boy. One with Lady Talia's appearance, green eyes that bore into its blue eyes.
"Damian, This is Amira Martha Al Ghul. Your Ukht-"
The entire world stops at Lady Talia's words.
Ukht...sister.
"-Amira This is Damian Thomas Al Ghul. Your Akhi-"
Akhi...brother
...oh
Oh...
It She fell to her knees and her arms wrapped around him.
...This warmth was nothing like Kagami's.
It was more.
She leaned her cheek on top of his chest and smiled as he hugged back
"-Protect each other. Love each other. For in the darkest of moments, the toughest of times-"
Once upon a time...there was a child.
Then a weapon-
"-You will only have each other."
And finally, a sister.
And this... is truly the beginning of the end for her.
.
.
"I told you I was right," Kagami's smug voice caught her attention.
Amira stared at her and rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
They watched as Damian hesitantly walked toward the puddle, where he was staring at a family of ducks with wide eyes filled with Awe. It was the first time he had been allowed to leave the castle with them. And even then, Amira could see the shadows shift, eyes staring at the heir of the League.
He was still young, but soon his training would begin.
Both of them knew this
"I'm leaving soon," Kagami whispered
Amira turned to face her, face full of hurt, and she whispered back, "I know."
Her hand found Kagami's own, and they squeezed them. They were silent
"I don't want to leave you," she admitted out loud, "it's selfish...so selfish. But I want you here, with me."
She didn't know what she would do without Kagami. She had Damian, her little light in the darkness, but she needed Kagami. Kagami was her passion, her first warmth; she didn't want to lose that. COULDN'T lose her.
"I know."
Damian giggled as one of the ducks made its way toward him
"Mother is distancing herself from the League. Claims we've gotten all we can here," she looked down. "We're going to be under for some time, Lord Ra's will not be pleased when he hears about it, and I doubt we'd survive if we didn't hide or prove we aren't going to be a threat to him."
"He'll keep an eye on you regardless," she pointed out
"I know," she nodded
"Where are you going?"
"Japan," she responded softly, "And then to Paris."
"Why Paris?"
Amira knew that the Tsuguri were originally from Japan, but why the city of lights of all places?
Kagami shrugged. "Mother claims it's peaceful there. And Ra's won't bother us after a year of leaving the League," she paused, "I'll become the best fencer."
"Fencer?"
"Mhm," she nodded. "I'll participate in the Olympics and win." She frowned and looked down. "My league training, the killing...it will all end when we leave the castle."
"But," she spoke firmly, "I'll still be the best. One way or another."
"I'll be rooting for you," Amari nudged her and smiled at her
There was a beat of silence
"I...I'll see you again."
Kagami glanced at her
"I don't know when. I don't know how. But I'll see you again," she nodded. "I'll give you anything and everything-" just like Kagami had done for her. "Even if I have to bleed for it, I'll stand by your side no matter what."
"I don't need you to bleed for me." Kagami turned to her, and Amira turned with her. She placed her hands on her shoulder and bumped their foreheads together. Amira let herself relax.
"I just need you to stand with me. Without being pained or hurt." Kagami whispered, "Please, don't get hurt. Don't hurt anyone for me. Don't hurt yourself. Just stay safe. Stay yourself"
Amira was silent for some time. "Okay...okay"
But they both knew she was lying.
Amira would never choose herself over Kagami. Kagami...Kagami was everything to her. Just like Damian was. The first warmth she had felt since the darkness took over her life.
Kagami. Damian.
They were pure. They didn't ask for their place in the League. Similarly to Damian, she was born in a tube, genetically perfectly created by her mother. For a great purpose. But Amira? She was born from Blood, of two people. One who fought for Justice and one who fought for Blood.
And Amira fought for blood.
She didn't care, not like Kagami did.
She didn't cry, like Kagami did when she thought Amira couldn't hear.
Amira didn't have a heart. She had a demon inside of her.
"I promise," she whispered as Kagami began to leave, "I'll see you again."
"I know," Kagami nodded and smiled
They didn't say anything, not the words they knew the other wanted to say, nor did they know what that word meant; Instead, they stared at one another.
Amira stared as she walked away and turned to Damian.
She had him now.
And she was going to keep him safe.
...I wish I had been able to keep my promise
"What is father like?"
She paused and looked at Damian. "Why are you asking about him?"
"Mother speaks of him. But he doesn't talk about him." Damian pouted, "I wish to know about him."
Amira held back the scowl that wanted to form on her face.
When she heard their mother had been thinking of telling Damian about Bruce Wayne, she had been offended. Why talk about him? It wasn't worth talking about the "World's Greatest Detective."
More like the world's "Greatest Mediocre father"
Amari despised Bruce Wayne and had done her best to keep her brother away from anything that was about him. But of course, their mother had to ruin that as well.
"He's...a coward."
"A coward?" he frowned
"Yes," she nodded, "And you know why?"
He shook his head
"Because when it comes to doing what needs to be done, he won't do it." She paused. "Jason Todd. The second Robin died at the hands of a madman, and do you know what I would have done if I were our father?"
"Avenge him."
"Exactly, " she nodded, "If he were our family, we would have avenged him, but do you know what he did?'
She smiled, no emotion behind it. "He let the clown live, Ahki. He let him live. And the worst part? He gives him chance after chance to hurt more people. He says that he fights for Justice...but where's the justice?"
"Oh..."
He looked down, clearly upset, and she internally sighed.
Damian felt more of a connection with their father than she did, probably because of their mother's talk about 'birthright' and 'heir to the bat'. It disgusted her that their mother was trying to connect him to that pathetic man.
"But, I suppose, I admire him."
He looked up. "You do?"
"Mhm," she nodded, "He keeps going. Just like we do"
"Hn"
Damian was silent before he looked up and said, "I like you better than him."
It took everything in her power not to grin like a madman at those words.
The next day, when she was on a mission and spotted jewelry made out of REAL Jade, she smiled and snatched them before disappearing into the dark.
She felt bad for stealing, but anything for her Akhi.
"You're protective of him."
Her mother one day comments, she glanced at her before turning to watch Damian, who was training with one of his instructors
"He's my Akhi."
She kept her eyes forward, biting her lip as her brother was tossed to the floor, and proceeded to stand up again
"Too protective"
Amira paused and glanced at her mother. "What is that supposed to entail?"
"He's been watching".
"I'm aware," she huffed, "Despite all his confidence, he doesn't realize I've surpassed him in many ways."
Her mother smiled at that, "You have," and then placed a hand on her head.
It makes her pause.
This touch is something she hasn't had in years; all she knew was pain, and her mother had never once come to see her when she was in the League of Shadows. But, she supposed, it was worth it considering Talia was making Damian at the time.
"I've seen how he stares at Damian...how obsessed he's become with him and Batman", she muttered
Amira glared and withheld the growl that wanted to let out; it was disgusting.
Their grandfather saw him as nothing but a tool; couldn't he see that Damian was so much more than that? He was everything they should aspire to be: Someone strong. Someone who still had purity in them and wasn't tainted like they were.
"You know what's going to happen," Talia whispered. "He's planning to make Damian the head of the league, and you know what will happen."
"I do."
And she did.
Damian would become like them: Tainted. And she didn't want that.
Amira wanted him to be better; she needed him to be better than they were because if he wasn't, then what was the point of it? What was the point of even trying? What was the point of being...alive?
"Don't worry," she looked at her mother, "I'll keep him safe."
Talia stared at her
"I know you will."
It was a shame that their mother didn't know HOW she would keep him safe.
But that was okay.
It would only make it easier for Amira.
It's easy to cause trouble for her grandfather.
All it took was her refusing to kill her targets, and all of a sudden, she was fighting for her fight as he 'discipline'. Amira couldn't care less about the fact that she was being chained to the wall and beaten until she could barely see anything.
All she did was give a feral grin as her grandfather glared at her.
Was he thinking she was going soft?
Pff. How pathetic.
She wasn't going soft; this was all just a means to an end.
The torture and punishments reminded her of when she first joined the League, crying and puking, lying in her own waste.
To think she had once been so pathetic.
But, of course, her mother quickly realized what she was doing.
"Are you insane?" she hissed as she pulled Amira to her private room. Her arm was still dripping blood, but she paid it no mind and didn't flinch as her mother tended to her wounds. "Child, you know what will happen if you continue to anger him."
"I know," she nodded
"He doesn't care for you. If he thinks you are rebelling, he'll make sure you regret it."
Amira nodded. "I'm aware."
"Then WHY, child?!" Her mother forced her face upward, and she blinked at the actions, tilting her head at the sight of tears. She didn't think what she was doing was necessarily a bad thing for her. For either of them.
So why shed tears for someone like her?
Someone...disgusting and tainted?
"He...he can't be here." She shook her head. "Damian doesn't deserve to be here in this...hell." Amira clenched her fists and looked at her mother. "He deserves to live, not for purpose-" she made a face "-or for blood...but for himself. He needs to live for love and not hate."
"He's safe here."
"Really?" she challenged, "Is what happened to me 'safe'?"
Her mother flinched
"...He's not safe here. And he's not happy." She looked at her mother. "He's only content because he has you and me...but he doesn't deserve to bleed, to fight for some purpose that isn't what he wants. I know you understand that, too," she begged softly.
"...You're going to get killed"
"I know," she leaned forward, her head falling on her chest, "But I have to keep him safe, he's the only thing that makes me happy. He's my light. My everything. And I know it's wrong, but I WANT to keep him here with me, but I know he can't stay here. He has to live"
She shut her eyes as her mother embraced her
"He HAS to live," she let out a shaky breath. "I don't know what I'll do with myself if he doesn't."
"He has to live."
...
"I NEED him to live"
"...I know"
Her mother continues to hug her
"I know."
They don't separate for a long time.
It was cathartic.
Every second that passed, every minute, every hour--knowing she was going to die.
She wondered what would become of her sacrifice. Would it be meaningful? Would he understand what she was doing it for, or would it be meaningless? With him despising her for it.
Either way...she was excited.
Amira smiled and wrapped her arms around her neck, already practicing for the action she would commit against her Akhi. He was smaller than her, but in time, he would outgrow her.
Her room was bare, nothing compared to her Ahki's, but in this moment, she had never felt so content in being surrounded by nothing.
It filled her with excitement knowing that whatever outcome came to be, she would be forever ingrained in her Akhi's mind, body, and soul. Never forgotten and always there
Amira laughed a bit, a grin spreading across her face
Like a parasite, forever under his skin.
Her laugh turned into sobs, and she couldn't help but hold her head as she sobbed
What was wrong with her?
... What was wrong with her?
Every day that came felt like carrying a boulder on her shoulders.
She could feel herself beginning to tire, and her appearance had taken a toll as well. Dark circles under her eyes, barely even able to stay awake before being knocked unconscious. It was hell. She felt like death.
Her body showed the consequence of that, her body covered in more and more scars than ever before. And it was beginning to get on her grandfather's nerves; she could see it in the way he glared down at her and the way she would just continue to stare up at him in defiance.
She was tired.
She was so...so tired.
For a split moment, she thinks that maybe it wasn't worth it. Maybe she could find a way to escape.
Escape!
Yes.
They could escape together, and then they'd never be apart from each other!
Damian would follow. He always followed her, and she followed him. Always.
One night, she manages to leave the castle with him. She wants to show him something, talk to him about something.
"Have you ever thought of it?"
"Hm?"
"Running away from here"
She finally asked the question that had plagued her, even without looking, she could hear the disbelief in his voice, the audacity of her even THINKING about leaving.
"Why would I want that?" he shook his head. "Our family is here. Our legacy. Why would I ever want to leave?"
Her eyes darkened a bit at that, she let out a huff and said, "Why wouldn't I?" she fell back on the grass and stared up at the sky "You can only eat at certain times, you can't go anywhere without permission, stick to the schedule at all times, only use aliases, obey your teachers. Blah, Blah, Blah-" she frowned "This is just a glorified prison...tell me, Damian, don't you want to just...fly away from here?"
She's begging.
And it's pathetic. But she needs to hear him say it. So she can do this without feeling like she is forcing him.
"...where would we even go? We do not have family waiting outside for us...our family is here."
Amira laughed, "Akhi, it's not about family."
"Then what is it about?"
"It's about home," she whispered, "I...I do not think we have ever had one."
"You're wrong, Ukht."
"Hm?" she looked at him as he stared at her, his knees to his chest, and he seemed to be smaller than he already was. "How so?"
"Home is not a place...it's a person," he smiles. "You and mother are my home."
She's quiet for some time, and she realized...he was right.
He was her home.
And she couldn't lose that.
She wouldn't lose him.
Amira stood up. "Come on."
"Where are we going now?"
"There's something else I want to show you."
Amira grasped his hand and began to run--he pulled back
"Akhi?" she asked in confusion, horror in her voice at her Akhi's actions What are you doing?"
"My morning training will begin soon. I have to go back."
"But-"
"You can show me again another time," he glanced at her, "I have to go."
The world collapsed for her in that moment.
Amira realised the reality of the cruel world they'd live in.
Damian...Damian would never leave as long as Amari remained with him. He said so himself: She and their mother were his home...he would forever remain in the League if they continued to exist within it.
Amira felt like laughing; she lowered her head and raised it, forcing a grin on her face.
It hurt
...it hurt so much.
She runs and grabs his hand. "Come on, then! We can't have you being punished."
And as they make their way back to the castle...she can't stop the tears falling from her eyes.
I cried that day for the first time in years.
...it hurt to cry.
Her mother corners her one day.
She's been crying, and Amira can only stare.
"You're going to die.
"I know."
"And you don't care."
"I don't."
Her mother leaned down and hissed, "If you keep this up, He'll do it! Do you not understand?!"
"I know. But he'll fly...that's all I've ever wanted."
Her mother looks like she's going to cry, and she hugs her before the tears fall down, she shuts her eyes close
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for seeing that bird. I'm sorry for not listening to you. I'm sorry for wanting to be free."
Her mother wraps her arms around her. "It was never your fault. I held you too tight."
"You're my mother...it's your job to keep me close," she smiles. "I'm glad you did. You were my first warmth."
Her mother holds her tightly
"...Mama?"
"Yes"
"I'm scared."
"I know Ibnati, I know."
Neither moved for a very long time.
She writes two letters before the match begins. One for Damian...and the other for Kagami.
Amira cries as she writes them.
She doesn't want to leave. She wants to stay, she wants to stand by their side.
...but she's doing this for Damian.
Kagami will understand. She has to understand.
And Damian?
...Damian could hate her, and she would still be happy about it.
She's called for the match.
Amira stares at Kagami's letter...and kisses it.
She always wished she had gotten the chance to do that with Kagami.
She thinks back on every moment that led up to this moment. She stands outside with her blade in hand and standing taller than ever before.
Everyone believes she will win.
She's always been better than Damain, more ruthless...but he won in every other aspect. He had the one thing she didn't have: a heart.
Amira stared at the door and looked down at her bracelet.
This was it.
It was finally time.
Amira thinks of all the moments she could have had...and turns everything off.
Her eyes are now empty, and there is nothing left inside of her but the rage she had carried for years.
Amira knew what needed to be done.
And she wouldn't be stopped.
...not even by herself.
0
O
o
"Ukht?"
Damian's voice shakes as he calls out for her.
She doesn't acknowledge him; instead, she lifts her katana and stares at the blade; she looks disgusting, and she's aware that this will forever be the image her brother associates with her for the rest of his life.
She didn't raise her head and instead maneuvered the blade to point it at him.
A shaky breath left his mouth, and he raised a hand. "Ukht?"
Their grandfather calls for the battle--and she attacks.
Damian dodged and defended; he didn't want to hurt her. And she didn't want to hurt him.
But there was no other choice.
"Ukht, please," he begged under his breath, her eyes lifted to meet his--they were dark pools of water, glaring at him with no emotion in them whatsoever.
Just like when they first met.
He flinched, she relished at the fear in his eyes, "Please."
She doesn't respond and instead glances up to where grandfather and mother were.
Her mother stared at her in grief and horror. She knew what was going to happen, had known for a long time, but seeing it now? It had shattered her.
Two children, one born of flesh and blood and the other born from genetically modified DNA, one would live and the other wouldn't.
Amira thought for a moment.
What could have been had she just listened to her? They'd be out there, living their lives without the league over their shoulder...but Damian wouldn't be here.
Everything happened for a reason.
...that didn't mean she had to like it.
Amira looks down--a blade falls to the ground.
Before she could react, Damian ran toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She tensed.
Amira wanted to lean into it, to relish and be devoured by the warmth but all she could do was stare at the ground.
I'm here Ukht."
...
"I know."
She pushed him back
"And that's the problem"
Amira's hands wrap around his throat, and she glares down at him.
Why?
Why couldn't you just notice?
Why couldn't you just see my pain?
Why couldn't you just choose me over bloodright and family?
Was it so hard to love me above everyone else?
...why couldn't you love me the way I loved you?
She glared at him like she was one of her victims.
One of the many she had killed with no remorse
Was it because you saw what I had always known?
That I was a monster from the beginning I was born?
Is that it?
She can see the primal fear in his eyes, and she relishes in the feeling.
Good...be afraid.
Was that why it was so easy for you to love our Father?
Did you think him better than me? Was he somehow superior to me?
... Was he better at protecting you than I ever could be?
Damian acts just like she expects her to
He stabs her
In the chest
That's fine.
In the stomach
I'll take the pain
On her shoulder.
Anything for you
Blood filled her mouth, and she blinked, a smile formed on her face, and before they knew it, she was falling.
Damian's eyes widened as he reached to hold his neck, and she knew he realized something haunting--it didn't hurt.
She had never aimed to hurt him. Just to scare him, and it worked
That look...It's mine. Only mine
Nobody will ever get to see it
Ah...it filled me with so much joy.
She falls, eyes staring at him with a smile on her face as her hand reaches toward him, her mouth opened, and only a few words leave her mouth
Amira needs to say it.
She HAS to say it
"Thank you....for being the v-victim to my shallow...emotions"
I'm sorry...for everything
She falls and lands on the ground with a thud.
...death was so much more peaceful than she had been led to believe
Once upon a time...there was a child.
Then a weapon.
And finally...a sister.
...I was that sister.
My name was Amira "Martha" Al Ghul.
This was the story of how I died...and I wouldn't have it any other way.