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Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou have been dating for years now. 2 years has passed since they solved the whirlwind of cases that came to shake their world – making permanent changes in their lives, for the better. It has been 2 years since Fei Du realized that Luo Wenzhou has always been there for him, secretly cheering him on and caring for him. It has also been 2 years since Luo Wenzhou saw through Fei Du’s “playboy bourgouisie” facade and saw just how much pain and trauma he went through, all alone. It has been 2 years since they made a promise to each other, to never let go and to hold each other through life’s challenges, willing to jump into the abyss to save each other, if necessary.
However, now that it is almost their 3rd anniversary, Fei Du has realized that they haven’t had any professionally taken pictures yet. They have casual pictures of each other during dates, but more so both of them taking candid shots of the other on their own phone. Fei Du, recounting all their dates and anniversaries past, thought to himself that it’s about time they reach out to a professional photographer and have a proper photoshoot.
Fei Du, who just had this brilliant idea come to him at 8 am while having his breakfast, decided to call Miao Miao and had her collect information and portfolios from renowned photographers. Fei Du wanted this to be perfect. He wants to surprise Luo Wenzhou for their 3rd anniversary, he wants to work on this personally, making sure to make it special for both of them. In Fei Du’s mind, he wants to do something special for Luo Wenzhou, just like how Luo Wenzhou always does something special for him.
An hour passed and Miao Miao finally emailed all the information she had to Fei Du. Fei Du thoroughly read through each photographer’s portfolios and experiences. During his research, he discovered a few photographers with experience photographing large, international events. Fei Du made note of these photographers, comparing each portfolio to one another and finally deciding on his favorite photographer.
Amidst this process, Fei Du cannot help but think is this really enough? Will Luo Wenzhou like this? Is this not too simple? Does he even want to take photos like these, or rather, will he even like the idea? Wouldn’t it be too cheesy?
Fei Du can’t help but overthink his plans. Even though he’s been with Luo Wenzhou for 3 years, he still can’t quite grasp what Luo Wenzhou likes. Don’t get him wrong, Fei Du cares a lot about Wenzhou and he knows about some of the things Wenzhou likes. He knows how Wenzhou raves about basketball and how excited he gets when his favorite basketball team wins a game. He knows how much Wenzhou likes movies, even though sometimes he gets so infuriated by the characters in the movie he’s watching, often complaining about how stupid or unrealistic the movie is. He also knows how Wenzhou is a foodie and how giddy he becomes when he finds new restaurants with good food, obviously for a good price. It also goes without saying that Fei Du knows how much Wenzhou loves his cats and doing anything to care for them, willingly splurging his money to buy imported cat foods for his spoiled cats.
However, Fei Du is often left at a loss when it comes to couple-related things. Maybe it’s because Fei Du hasn’t had any experience with acts of service before being with Luo Wenzhou, and how he only had fleeting flings and hook ups before Wenzhou, but he truly does not know the intricacies of romance, especially when it comes to photoshoots, couple shirts, etc. He knows about the physical aspect of it, the gentleness of Wenzhou’s touch when they are together, the sweet comments that would graze their lips when talking to each other, the hugs and kisses they shared to comfort, cherish, or simply hold each other in their arms. He also knows about how Wenzhou cooks for him, tends to his needs, making sure Fei Du is safe, making sure Fei Du knows what he is working on or where he is if ever he goes home too late – truly spoiling his beloved Fei Du, more than he spoils his cats. But Fei Du can’t help but blank out on whether Wenzhou would enjoy doing things that couples do. The cheesy ones.
This throws Fei Du into a spiral and he can’t help but think that this might be a bad idea. Before he knows it, he felt a sudden stabbing pain in his head and felt like the room is spinning. This often happens to him when he overworks or gets too stressed. He decided to head to their shared bedroom and rest for a while, hoping he will feel better when he wakes up.
—
Luo Wenzhou is currently at work and he is swamped with a new case that arrived in the bureau yesterday. It’s a simple car theft and they already have information about the suspects, but what makes it difficult and complex is that these suspects are good at hiding and its becoming more and more apparent that they are a part of a big syndicate. However, despite being slumped with work, Wenzhou did not fail to notice how Fei Du hasn’t messaged him at all this morning. Usually Fei Du would have messaged him about his day, whether he went to work or not, if he ate lunch yet, or sweet talks that doesn’t fail to infuriate Wenzhou as well as make his knees go weak at the same time.
Looking at his phone from time to time, Wenzhou’s curiosity grows and he can’t help but worry.
“Imperial father, are you homesick already?” Lang Qiao teasingly remarked outside of his office.
Luo Wenzhou glared at Lang Qiao, “Am I not giving you enough work Imperial Princess? Or are cilantro buns becoming your favorite dish? Do you want me to give you a lifetime supply?” Luo Wenzhou couldn’t help but snap back.
Lang Qiao heard this and made a gesture with her hands, pretending to zip her lips, vowing to be silent for the rest of the day.
Tao Ran walked in with 2 cups of coffee in his hand, delivering one to Luo Wenzhou’s desk and he couldn’t help but back up Lang Qiao’s claims.
“But seriously Wenzhou, I think you have checked your phone 30 times in the last hour. Is there something wrong?” Tao Ran inquires, taking a sip of his coffee and sitting at the chair across Luo Wenzhou’s desk.
Luo Wenzhou sighed, sneaking a glaring glance to Lang Qiao’s way, which earned him a giggle from Lang Qiao. “It’s just Fei Du hasn’t messaged me yet and its almost noon. Usually he messages me, even if its just a simple update.”
Tao Ran, sat across Wenzhou, didn’t know what to make of this situation. Even though it has been a couple of years since Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou started dating, he can’t get used to how lovesick Wenzhou acts, while also not sparing them (taken heterosexuals) complaints of how shameless they are.
“Why don’t you just call him or message him? He’s probably just too busy, just like us right now.” Tao Ran said, trying to be empathetic and trying his best to hold in his laughter.
Luo Wenzhou stared at him in a daze, to which Tao Ran stood up, pat his shoulders, and left his office.
He couldn’t help but agree with Tao Ran. It is that simple. He could simply message Fei Du, but he also feels like if he does, he might seem too clingy. Luo Wenzhou usually doesn’t overthink things like this, but for some reason he is on edge today.
He decided to follow Tao Ran’s advice and shoot Fei Du a quick “How are you? Its been busy here in the bureau, but I’ll make sure to get home early tonight.” message.
—
Fei Du woke up at around 1 pm and saw 10 messages from Luo Wenzhou, ranging from how are you’s, texting his name repeatedly, and growing concern by the minute. Before he can type up a reply to Wenzhou, apologizing for not replying quickly enough, Fei Du received a call from the man himself.
“Hello, shixiong.” Fei Du answers, not able to hide the groan that escaped his lips as he got up from bed, still plagued by the remnants of his previous migraine.
“Fei Du?! Are you okay? Did something happen? I haven’t heard from you since this morning, should I go home. No, actually, wait for me the-” Luo Wenzhou rambles, obviously panic stricken and Fei Du can hear him quickly shuffling through his office, making a quick leave to see Fei Du.
“Shixiong, shixiong I am fine. You don’t have to go home. I just woke up from a nap.” Fei Du says, trying to hide the fact that he had a migraine earlier this morning from stressing about his anniversary surprise for the concerned man on the other end of the line.
“You? Taking a nap? Something happened. What is it? And don’t even think you can hide it from me, I have my ways of finding out President Fei.” Wenzhou says, not able to hide his concern and frustration from Fei Du and the possibility that he is overworking himself or worse, drinking wine secretly again.
“I am really fine Shixiong. I just had some work that I had to deal with this morning and I got a headache from it.” Fei Du says, realizing there is no point hiding this from Wenzhou, at least his migraine. As long as he doesn’t know that he was planning a surprise for him on their anniversary, nothing else matters.
Luo Wenzhou sighs at the other end of the line, “I told you to not overwork yourself. You brag and brag about having many people at your disposal to do work for you, yet you don’t actually use them. I will try to get home early and make you food. Don’t even think of ordering take out.” Luo Wenzhou says, voice getting gentler and softer by the minute.
This is another thing that Fei Du loves about Wenzhou. No matter how worried and frustrated he is of Fei Du’s life decisions, he is just worried at the end of the day and can’t help but be gentle to Fei Du. His voice softens, showing just how much he loves Fei Du and how relieved he is that the man is okay.
“Shixiong, I love you.” Fei Du says, coaxing Luo Wenzhou’s rapidly beating heart. Luo Wenzhou can imagine how Fei Du’s eyes curve into its usual peach blossom shape. Instead of calming him down, it made his heart ache more, missing Fei Du by the minute, wishing he could crush him with a hug right now.
“You brat, you make me worry and you think saying things like these will calm me down? You just wait, I’ll be home soon.” is all Luo Wenzhou could say in return, an obvious shake and weakness in his voice from being flustered by Fei Du’s confession.
Fei Du chuckles to himself and hangs up the call. Fei Du made up his mind. He will make sure their 3rd anniversary is the greatest one yet.
—
It has been 3 days since Fei Du started planning his surprise photoshoot for their anniversary. Fei Du has created a mood board, with the help of Miao Miao, filled with pictures and poses he would love to do with Wenzhou for the photoshoot. The anniversary is in 2 days and as it gets closer and closer, he becomes more nervous and is terrified of the possibility that this plan might blow up in his face, failing, and ultimately making their anniversary the worst one yet.
All the doubts that Fei Du had in the past 2 days are creeping up again, often in his dead father’s voice, telling him how ridiculous his plan is and how it will never be good enough, how he will never be good enough for Luo Wenzhou, and how he can never repay Luo Wenzhou’s love for him. As these thoughts plague his mind, trying to take over him and get him to back out, Fei Du is reminded of the reason why he wants to have a photoshoot in the first place. Fei Du tries to swallow the lump that is forming in his throat. He can’t afford to lose this chance. He knows there’s other times to do this, but he can’t afford to have his plan fail. This is much too important for him, and he hopes Luo Wenzhou would love it. At the very least, tolerate it.
Fei Du is brought back to the present when he heard someone call his name, trying to get his attention.
“Mr. Fei, are you still there?” The man on Fei Du’s laptop screen said. Fei Du, coming back to himself, shakes his head, softly sliding his hair to frame his face, and answers the man.
“Yes, I apologize. Something distracted me for a bit. Continuing on, are you able to make your schedule available on this day? I really love your work and would love to hire you for a special event.” Fei Du says, as if nothing happened and he wasn’t just attacked by his own thoughts.
Fei Du is in his office and currently on call with the photographer he chose for the photoshoot. The photographer is currently abroad and is about to decline his offer, but Fei Du had other plans, very determined to make this work.
“I know you are abroad right now, but I am willing to pay you however much, just to have you for this special event. I can pay for your flight to China, as well as your accommodations.”
The photographer was flabbergasted by this offer and he remained still, almost like the signal was cut off. He cleared his throat, and when that did not work, he grabbed his coffee and took a big drink out of it. Fei Du patiently waited for his answer, looking directly at the photographer in the screen, while the said man is looking down, deep in thought.
After a while, the photographer looked at his schedule and agreed with Fei Du. Fei Du smiled.
“Thank you for trusting my vision and working with me, Mr. Ji.” Fei Du said. He carefully explained the plan for the most awaited day and they talked about the mood board, possible venues and the said accommodations and payment for the photographer.
Slowly and surely, Fei Du’s plan is almost done and all that is left to do is wait for another day and allude to Luo Wenzhou about the plan for their anniversary.
—
Luo Wenzhou parked his car in front of their apartment complex, tired from the days work. They have finally neatly concluded the car theft case that disturbed the bureau for the past week. Carrying his bag and some cat food he bought on his way home, he slowly walked to their condo. It feels like months has passed since he last seen Fei Du to his hearts content and he can’t help but be excited and hurriedly opened the door to their condo.
As he opened the door, he is greeted by his 2 cats, meowing and slowly prancing to his feet, smelling him as he closes the door and hang his bag and coat on the coat rack.
“Baobei, I’m home.” He yells, hoping to hear the voice he has been yearning for this whole week. It has been busy and even though he was able to come home early each night, they haven’t had the chance to talk for long periods of time as his tiredness gets the better of him and often knocks him out of consciousness as soon as he gets home and eats dinner.
“I’m in the kitchen, shixiong.” Fei Du answered. Luo Wenzhou can hear him shuffling inside the kitchen, along with the clang of dishes.
Luo Wenzhou was ready to nag Fei Du, telling him for the millionth time that he does not have to try cooking when he is greeted by a table full of expensive food. On the table, he saw braised whole abalone, Peking roasted duck, hot pot, and dumplings among many other dishes.
“Welcome back Shixiong. Take a seat, I am almost done preparing the food.” Fei Du says, back turned to Luo Wenzhou. Fei Du is by the sink, preparing additional dishes and drinks to set the mood. Fei Du has been busy preparing this since this afternoon, just to have some sort of backup plan if his plan tomorrow fails.
Fei Du sees Luo Wenzhou still standing by the dining table, still carrying the cat food, shocked at the amount of food in the table and after a while, looking at Fei Du with an unreadable expression. This makes Fei Du nervous. He tries not to show that his hands are shaking, carefully placing the drinks on the table. By the time he composed himself and decided to look up at Luo Wenzhou, he is nowhere to be found.
Fei Du can feel his heart beating rapidly at his chest. He can hear it and suddenly he feels like he is going to faint. Did I disappoint Shixiong? Is he mad? Are the food not good enough? Should I have not even tried? Does he know I didn’t make this and he is disappointed?
“Baobei’r, when did you prepare this?” Luo Wenzhou says, now behind Fei Du, slowly snaking his arms around Fei Du’s waist.
Fei Du was shocked, not knowing when Luo Wenzhou snuck behind him. He felt his heart drop back to his body, momentarily left breathless as he realize Luo Wenzhou is not mad.
Fei Du tried to control his breathing and held Luo Wenzhou’s hand. He willed his hand to not give away how nervous he was but its too late. The moment Luo Wenzhou hugged him, he felt Fei Du’s rapidly beating heart, along with Fei Du’s cold hands, Luo Wenzhou knew that Fei Du must have been really nervous for this dinner, and how he must have been preparing diligently for tonight.
As Fei Du remained silent, Luo Wenzhou started nibbling at Fei Du’s neck, leaving soft kisses at the base of his neck, to his shoulders, trying to calm Fei Du down. Luo Wenzhou smiles to himself when he felt Fei Du relax and lean his neck more to the side, giving Luo Wenzhou more space to kiss him on his neck.
“I only prepared this afternoon. I thought that since it’s our anniversary tomorrow, I should treat you to a nice dinner. But I didn’t want you to back out once we got to an expensive restaurant so I brought the expensive restaurant to our home.” Fei Du says, cheekiness and mischievousness audible in every word he spoke.
Luo Wenzhou left a final kiss on Fei Du’s neck and playfully slapped his back. “Such sly methods President Fei. You sure know how to slip through the radar. What a brat.” Luo Wenzhou nags, showing how he disagrees to Fei Du’s splurging, but nonetheless, appreciating his effort.
Fei Du gave him his usual smile that makes his eyes glimmer and become peach blossom-shaped and they both took a seat by the table.
“Our anniversary is tomorrow, but why is the dinner tonight?” Luo Wenzhou asks. “Are you not going to be home tomorrow?” He added, trying not get too ahead of himself in thinking that Fei Du will not be home to celebrate their special day and being sad about it. He continued looking down at his food, unable to look Fei Du in the eyes.
Fei Du smiles and answered quickly, not allowing Luo Wenzhou to be sad any longer.
“I have something planned for tomorrow. It’s a surprise.” Fei Du says, slicing into his food and eating it slowly. Just like Luo Wenzhou, he tries to not look at him, trying to appear nonchalant and confident, but in reality, he is close to crumbling.
He is hearing his father’s loud, booming voice again, telling him that he is nothing. That no matter how hard he works to be the best for Luo Wenzhou and to repay his love, he will not succeed.
Fei Du chokes on his food before Luo Wenzhou can answer and Wenzhou quickly grabs the drink beside him and gave it to Fei Du. Worry and concern written all over his face.
Wenzhou didn’t have to ask Fei Du anymore question on how much he has prepared. It was obvious that Fei Du has been working hard for this and that he is worried sick. Once Fei Du has stopped coughing and took a breath, Luo Wenzhou spoke, interrupting the loud and agonizing voices of scrutiny in Fei Du’s mind.
“I love you, Fei Du. I can’t wait for tomorrow.” with this, Fei Du felt like all the weight on his shoulders have disappeared and was crushed beneath his feet. He felt lighter, suddenly the voices stopped and all he could hear and feel is his beating heart and how it swells with Wenzhou’s words.
The night passed with them talking about their day, Luo Wenzhou complaining about how he gets teased by Lang Qiao and Tao Ran at work, and how they have cleanly solved the case this week.
Luo Wenzhou cleaned the kitchen, sticking to his promise that the person who prepares food doesn’t clean the kitchen. Knowing full well that Fei Du bought the food, he still did not let the man lay another step into the kitchen and only told him to go to their room and wait for him there.
Fei Du complied and changed into his pyjamas. The two cats have been unusually quiet for the night, feeling the tension in the house for the anticipated day tomorrow. Lying on the bed, Fei Du runs over everything they need for tomorrow. The clothes, which he bought two pairs of tuxedo for, the theme, which he is going for what he first saw when he searched online for couple photoshoots which is more cutesy and cheesy.
Reminded of this, Fei Du shudders in thought, thinking of all the ways the photoshoot could go wrong. He quickly shakes his head and thinks of the venue. The venue will be in a private park that the Fei conglomerate bought years ago. He had the park closed for the whole day, and he had people assigned to decorate the whole park with flowers.
All that is left is to sleep, wake up tomorrow, get ready and arrive there. Fei Du shuffles in the bed and turns to his side, away from the bedroom door. He closed his eyes and before long, he felt two large arms envelope him in an embrace, pushing him closer to a firm chest and drifted off to sleep.
—
Fei Du woke up early today, which is not really unusual for him, other than the fact that it is 5 am right now and he does not have to work. When its his day off, he also lets himself enjoy the day and indulge in things Luo Wenzhou usually does, which is lazing around. However, when its his workday, he wakes up beforore Luo Wenzhou and often has to be the one to coax Luo Wenzhou out of the bed.
As soon as Fei Du opened his eyes, his nerves cannot be calmed down. He laid on his side and looked at the man beside him, still peacefully sleeping. Fei Du thought of how much he loves this man and how he is still unsure why this man of good upbringing, strong personality, and unwavering beliefs chose him. The man who did not care at all about his own life, whose sole life purpose is to avenge his mom’s untimely death. To destroy the people who made their life a living hell.
Fei Du, getting tired of thinking and thinking when he just woke up, slowly touched Luo Wenzhou’s face, left a soft kiss on his cheeks and decided to get up and get ready.
Luo Wenzhou woke up to Fei Du moving around the room and when he fully opened his eyes, he saw a well-dressed Fei Du. Fei Du is dressed in a gray tuxedo and his hair softly frames his face. Luo Wenzhou was breathless as he stared at Fei Du, who is currently facing his vanity mirror and doing some last minute touch ups.
Luo Wenzhou bolted out of bed and immediately approached Fei Du. He hugged him from behind and asked him where he is going. Just like Fei Du, Luo Wenzhou also booked this day off as it is their anniversary.
“You should get ready, Shixiong. I have a surprise, remember?” Fei Du said, securing his golden watch on his left wrist. Luo Wenzhou became excited and immediately went and left for the shower.
Fei Du got Wenzhou’s matching black tuxedo ready and they both left the house.
—
On their way to the park, Luo Wenzhou can tell that Fei Du is more nervous than usual. With Du Jia driving, he has more time to spend looking at Fei Du. While Fei Du is often able to mask his nervousness with his nonchalant countenance, today, he is more quiet, only looking out the window. Luo Wenzhou would often see him messaging people on his phone, unable to hide the frown on his forehead when he gets a reply.
When Fei Du did this once more, Luo Wenzhou couldn’t help but reach out to Fei Du and straighten the crease that formed in Fei Du’s forehead. Fei Du was taken aback and looked up to Luo Wenzhou, to which he was greeted by a softly smiling Luo Wenzhou.
Fei Du almost crumbled right in front of Luo Wenzhou when he saw this and his eyes started to water. He is really nervous. He just wants this to be perfect. He just wants Luo Wenzhou to be happy. He wants this to be a memorable day.
Luo Wenzhou held his hand and tried to comfort him. Whatever it is that Fei Du has prepared, he knows it will be amazing. Any way he can spend with Fei Du by his side is worth it.
Once they arrived at the venue, Luo Wenzhou was shocked to see the full photoshoot set up that is in front of him. A whole walkway full of flowers in various colors, the beautiful floral arc that is set up in the middle of the walkway, and the many crews that are scattered in the area, making sure to capture their beautiful photos.
Luo Wenzhou looked at Fei Du, kind of confused. Fei Du continued to hold his hand and explain the sight in front of him.
“Shixiong, I was just thinking that it would be nice if we could have a photoshoot to celebrate our anniversary. I want something that we can hang in the walls of our home.” Fei Du said, looking down and trying to hold back his tears.
Hearing this, Luo Wenzhou dragged Fei Du in front of the photographer and crew and decided to get the photoshoot started.
They started posing for the photos. The mood was great, the weather was amazing and seems to be favouring their anniversary plans. However, when Fei Du looked at the photos, he was not satisfied. He felt that something is missing.
Hours passed of them retaking and retaking photos, and none of the photos looked pretty for Fei Du. Finally, when they tried again after taking a 15 minute break, it started to pour.
With Fei Du and Wenzhou soaked, Fei Du could only look at the ground, while the crew tried to find shelter. Thankfully for the crew, they didn’t have to travel far to get shelter as they have ready to set up tents and could stay in one place.
Fei Du felt like the world crumbled right in front of him. It failed. He failed. None of the photos were great, and not because of the photographer or Wenzhou. But because of him. For some reason, he thinks his smile looks ingenuine. Seeing himself smile in those photos, looking happy, felt so fake for him. He is happy. He loves Luo Wenzhou, more than any words could describe. But he can’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve any of it. To add more insult to injury, its now raining as well. How shitty.
Everytime he looked at his smiling face, hugging Wenzhou or holding his hands, he felt like he is ruining Wenzhou. It was like he saw himself staining Wenzhou and his pretty smile. Leaving an ugly mark just by being beside him. He can hear his father laughing at his failure.
“You cannot be happy, Fei Du. You are not made for happiness. You were made to destroy, just like how you destroyed your own Mother.”
“What a failure. Be glad you had a safe space for 3 years. That’s more than you can ask for.”
“Look at you, all alone again. As it should be. You can never escape your true self, Fei Du.”
—
When it started pouring, Luo Wenzhou immediately ran to the crew and asked them if they have an umbrella. Knowing how Fei Du worked so hard for this day to be perfect, he wants to help him, even if it means shooting in the rain. He just had to find an umbrella and they could continue.
When he heard Fei Du talk about his plan for today, how he wanted photos to hang in the walls of their home, his heart swelled that he immediately just wanted the photos taken. He wanted what Fei Du wanted. Luo Wenzhou was happy to hear such words from Fei Du, who after 3 years, is still learning how to express his emotions and wants. The fact that Fei Du planned this for Luo Wenzhou, not only to make him happy but for them to be able to do something together, is enough for him.
Being loved by Fei Du is the greatest thing that has happened to him. Being able to show Fei Du how much he meant to Luo Wenzhou is all that mattered to him. He just wants to be with Fei Du, so he will do whatever it takes to be with him, forever.
By the time Luo Wenzhou found an umbrella and turned to face Fei Du, Fei Du is already far away from him, walking away to the other direction.
Luo Wenzhou ran, sensing that something is wrong, and caught up to Fei Du. While Fei Du is still looking down, Luo Wenzhou grabbed the back of Fei Du’s tuxedo and stopped him in his tracks.
“Where are you going? We still have a photoshoot to do.” Luo Wenzhou says.
They were standing still for some time, Fei Du still looking at the ground, unmoved by the man holding his clothes. Luo Wenzhou started to worry more and more, and after a while, decided to face Fei Du. What he saw broke his heart.
Even with the raindrops on Fei Du’s face, it is still very obvious that he is crying. Especially now that he is under the shade of the umbrella, his eyes are visibly red, he is biting his lips, doing his best not to let out a wail, and his shoulders are shaking. All Luo Wenzhou can do is hug him, and Fei Du broke. He started shaking uncontrollably, crying loudly, and held onto Luo Wenzhou’s clothes for support. All that can be heard is the pattering of rain on the umbrella and their breathing and Fei Du's sobs.
They hugged for a moment, until Luo Wenzhou felt that Fei Du has calmed down a bit. Fei Du let go of Luo Wenzhou and started talking, still gasping for air as he speaks.
“I just wanted today to be perfect. I wanted pictures. I wanted you to be happy and to enjoy our 3rd anniversary, but now its ruined. It’s raining and the photos are not good.” He said, trying to stabilize his breath. He tries to look at Luo Wenzhou but when he sees the way his eyes softens, patiently waiting for him to speak, he can’t help but look away.
“I realized that we haven’t had professionally taken pictures yet. We have casual and candid photos in our phones but that’s different.” Fei Du continued, straightening his shoulders, trying to compose himself slowly.
“You know, I’ve never had family photos with my parents. At least none that showed us being happy. Because we weren’t. My father made sure of that. He made sure that every minute we spend being awake and being with him is spent in agony, spent to make him feel in control. I’m sure you remember our house. It is nothing but like a barren land. Bare walls, no sign of life, love, or laughter. No sign that a family of 3 lived there.”
“So I wanted us to be different. I wanted a picture to look at, to cherish, to prove to myself that we are together, that I am not dreaming. I want a family photo with you in it. A memento of our love and life together, forever.” Fei Du said, sobbing and now looking at Luo Wenzhou.
With the amount of times Luo Wenzhou has been made breathless by Fei Du, he doesn’t know how he is still standing. Hearing Fei Du’s thoughts, his transparency, and the depth of his love, Luo Wenzhou couldn’t help it anymore and he started crying as well.
He embraced Fei Du and once he felt content with the hug, he kissed Fei Du. It started as a soft kiss, a couple of pecks, tasting the salty tears that grazed both of their lips. As time passed, it became more passionate and Fei Du had to hold on tightly to Luo Wenzhou for support. The umbrella was also eventually dropped from Wenzhou’s hands and he focused solely on holding Fei Du’s face and deepening the kiss.
Gasping for air, they looked at each other, now both having reddened eyes and tear stained faces. “Why did you walk away then? We could still take photos, as many as you want, until you are satisfied.” Wenzhou coaxes to Fei Du, still holding his face and gently swiping away the stray strands of hair in his face.
“Everytime I looked at the photos, I feel like my smile was fake, that everything about the photos were fake. That I did not deserve to be happy like that.” Fei Du says, still holding Wenzhou’s waist.
“I looked at the photos too, and you looked amazing. We looked amazing. Do not listen to your father’s voice in your head. No matter what it is, as long as I am with you when doing it, I will always be happy. I am happy when you are happy. I couldn’t be more happier that I am with you and that you are with me. I am always willing to quiet down the negative thoughts in your head. As long as you let me. You deserve happiness more than anyone I know. Your mom would want you to be happy and I know she is proud of you and where you are right now in your life. She loved you and I love you. That is all that matters.” Luo Wenzhou says.
Fei Du felt his knees go weak again and hugged Luo Wenzhou again. He started crying again, but this time, the pain in his heart was nowhere to be found. Along with the rain, it has disappeared and was replaced by the warmth in his heart, as the sun starts to shine on them again.
They stayed in that position for a bit until they were ready to head back. They were surprised to see that they crew were looking at them with their cameras pointed at them. As they got closer, they saw one photo on the screen, taken while they were in the rain, under their umbrella. Sharing a passionate kiss in the rain.
Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du looked at each other and they laughed to themselves, thinking that this is all that matters.
Slowly but surely, the two men are starting to build the place they call home, filling it with photos of them, leaving trails of love and happiness in their midst, promising to be together forever, whether it be to face the abyss or to embrace the light of their future.